#and there was a power trip unfortunately but overall everything seems nice! i would have liked having the room on a higher floor but ah wel

[zhongrin]

I FINALLY MOVED OUT TO A NEW PLACE!!!

i'm absolutely exhausted and i still need to unpack so many things and i still need to buy a proper desk and restock my groceries & supplies and a do a whole lot of other things BUT i'm hoping to get settled in soon so i can get back to the creative endeavors™️✨

love yall, stay safe, take care, and good vibes 🫶🏻

[clairenatural]

Suptober 2020, Day 10: Sweet rides. Destiel (and background Saileen), honestly just 2k of state fair fluff

The Kansas State Fair rolls through a few months after their final boss battle with God himself. In the spirit of trying to heal and taking some time to just breathe, they all pile into the impala and drive the three hours to Hutchinson. All five of them, after Sam bounds into the kitchen one morning to excitedly announce that Eileen wants to come, and Dean can’t remember the last time his car (or his heart) was fuller.

Sam spends the first hour of the trip awkwardly turned around in the passenger seat, contorting his long torso to be able to sign with Eileen, until eventually Dean pulls over and makes him switch with Castiel (who probably should have been in the front in the first place). He watches his brother and his girlfriend start trying to teach Jack the ASL alphabet but keeps his own hands resolutely constrained to the steering wheel—if he gave them free reign he knows they’ll do something drastic, like reach out for the angel riding shotgun.

Still, the ride is nice. It’s the early Kansas fall, when the air is turning crisp but the sun is still warm, and the giddy relief of seeing Castiel smile without some cosmic threat looming over them still hasn’t worn off. By the time they pull into the fairgrounds it’s afternoon, and Dean is laughing along with the rest of them. They step into the hustle and bustle of the fair, and Jack’s face lights up in a way it hasn’t since before the weight of killing God was shoved onto his shoulders. Sam and Eileen split off pretty immediately, and they’re so happy Dean can’t even pretend to be exasperated. He’ll make fun of Sam later—right now he just watches them run away, giggling like teenagers, with a fond expression that could border on pining if Dean Winchester was the type to pine.

Then it’s just him, and Cas, and this half-angel kid who’s simultaneously all-powerful and a toddler. Jack, one of the most powerful beings in the universe, quintessential in the defeat of God, who still approaches cotton candy with a childlike wonder fitting for his three years of life. They discover that Jack likes cotton candy but loves rollercoasters. Dean, who discovered he hates rollercoasters a few decades ago, sits this one out—content to watch Jack drag Cas from ride to ride while he sits on a bench and eats corn dogs. When they finally stop for a breather it’s the tail end of the afternoon and Dean greets them with lemonade and funnel cake, and they watch the fair go by while eating the kind of fried food you can only find at state fairs. Cas is dismayed at the deep-fried Oreos. Dean eats three. It makes him feel sick—turns out even his stomach has limits—but it makes both Cas and Jack laugh, which makes it worth it.

Overall, it’s the perfect day, which might be why Dean’s immediately suspicious when Sam and Eileen show up some time later with matching mischievous smiles. They sit down at their picnic table and Sam leans in to slide something into Dean’s pocket, adding a whispered “thank me later” into his ear, before clearing his throat and turning his attention to Jack. “Hey, uh, Jack,” he starts, and Dean’s suspicions grow. “Eileen and I spent most of today playing games—you wanna show us the rides? Maybe,” he nods towards Dean in the least subtle way possible, “give these two a break?”

Jack looks between them for a moment before something seems to dawn on him and he smiles, which Dean does not like at all. “Yes,” he replies, simply, and starts to stand. “The best one is that way.” He points to the exact opposite end of the fair. Dean groans internally. Damn kids.

Cas watches them go with a look of contentment Dean isn’t sure he’s seen on the angel before, and he peeks at what Sam had slid into his pocket—two tickets for the massive Ferris wheel. Dean sighs and looks at Cas, then to the wheel. The afternoon is well on its way into evening now, and the low sun has the metal structure backlit and glowing. He looks back at Cas, who’s watching his odd reaction, confused. “Dean?” he questions.

Dean thinks about how much shit he’ll get from Sam (and Eileen) if he doesn’t go for it. He thinks about having to go another day, or even another hour, without holding Castiel’s hand. He thinks about how there’s nothing really stopping him—not anymore, not with the world safe and Cas not going anywhere anytime soon.

He makes a decision.

I’m in love with you. Please ride the Ferris wheel with me as the sun sets, he thinks.

“There are, uh. Some sweet rides here, huh?” he says instead. Castiel frowns at him, brow furrowed, and Dean wants to be enveloped by the earth like some cliché in a tween movie.

“You’ve spent most of the day avoiding them at all costs,” he points out and, yeah, that was not Dean’s best line. “I had to ride the, uh. The ‘Space Roller,’” he points at a giant spinning structure, “Twice.” Cas grimaces at the memory, and Dean frowns in sympathy. It was the only time he’s ever seen the angel nauseous.

“Jack had a good time, though,” Dean replies, because bringing up Jack is always a foolproof way to make Castiel smile again. Cas smiles in the way he always does when he thinks about his son, and it’s adorable but also off track, so—

“Ride the wheel with me,” Dean blurts out, before Cas can respond to his comment about Jack and before he can lose his nerve. Cas looks startled, either by the abrupt subject change or the two tickets that Dean slapped onto the table with his statement. “Sam—I mean, Sam and Eileen didn’t—” Castiel’s expression has changed to bemused confusion, so Dean stops talking and starts again. “Sorry.” He clears his throat. “Sam had extra tickets. I just thought it would be nice, you know. If you wanted.”

The smile he gets in return simultaneously puts him at ease and sets his heart racing. “I’d like that,” Cas says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world, and he’s already standing and gathering their trash by the time Dean’s brain catches up.

There’s a couple in front of them in line for the Ferris wheel. They’re holding hands. Dean forces his into fists in his pockets. Not yet, he tells himself. Soon.

Unfortunately, the cabin they eventually climb into starts rocking dangerously the moment it’s lifted off the ground, and Dean immediately decides this was a Bad Idea. They get halfway up the wheel before they lurch to a stop and dean makes a noise that is definitely not a whimper as he waits for the swaying to stop.

“Are you alright?” Cas asks, deeply concerned in the way he always is about Dean. Dean shrugs, not letting go of the lap bar.

“Yeah, you know. I just, uh. Got this thing about heights. It’s fine. I’m fine.” He sees Castiel’s face shift out of the corner of his eye and realizes he’s smiling. Dean is having a near-death experience and the angel next to him is smiling.

“Dean Winchester, a man who fought God, is afraid of heights?”

“Shut up,” Dean grumbles. “This thing is not structurally sound.” He tries to crane his neck outside the basket to examine the metalwork, but the movement makes the entire thing rock. He retreats, holding onto the lap bar for dear life, and sneaks a glance at Castiel. “Man, how are you not freaked out by this?”

“I suppose I’m used to falling,” Cas replies, as easy as ever, and it slows Dean’s brain down enough to look at him again. He’s still smiling, but there’s something else there. Something sadder.

“Cas—” Dean starts, but is abruptly cut off by the wheel kicking into gear again, squeaking as it pulls them over the crest of the wheel before stopping once more.

The sun is setting over the fair, casting everything below in shades of orange and gold. There’s the faint sound of children laughing and fair music drifting up from the ground, and the expanse of Kansas is visible beyond the fair’s borders. It’s breathtaking, really. It’s the part where, if this was a rom-com, Dean would make his move.

Instead, he’s clinging to the lap bar of the Ferris wheel car, and Castiel is doing his very best not to laugh in the seat beside him. Dean groans, squeezes his eyes shut, and considers disowning Sam.

“Dean,” he hears Cas say, mirth in his voice but also unmistakable softness, and then a warm hand is covering his own on the bar in front of them. “Look at me.”

He does, forcing his eyes open, and—oh. Cas has moved closer, and his blue eyes are lit up by the last rays of daylight, and suddenly Dean’s heart is racing for an entirely different reason. “Uh. Hi,” he says, because his brain seems to have shorted out, but the corner of Cas’ eyes crinkle into a smile and it’s beautiful.

Castiel’s hand is still warm on top of his own, grounding him even as they’re far off the ground. He’s looking at Dean like he’s the most precious thing in the known universe, and Dean realizes that now, actually, is when he would make a move.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replies.

And Dean kisses him.

Dean barely registers that Cas is kissing him back—Cas is kissing him back??—when he absently takes both hands off the lap bar to pull Castiel closer, which means the entire car rocks again. Dean makes an undignified noise and pulls back to re-steady himself, and his cheeks are burning but Cas is laughing so that means it’s probably okay.

“When we get back to solid ground I’m kissing you for real,” Dean promises as the wheel squeaks back into movement again. Cas hums in agreement and presses a kiss to Dean’s cheek, and Dean can feel his smile. They hold hands on the bar of the carriage as the wheel turns them back down to earth.

Dean makes good on his promise as soon as they touch down, dragging Castiel behind a nearby tree and pulling him into a real kiss—solid, like the ground they’re standing on. Solid like the foundation they’ve been building for the past decade, of trust and love and family.

When they finally make it back to the picnic table, they look far too disheveled to blame it all on the ride. Sam looks up from the sundae he’s sharing with the other two, grins down at Dean and Cas holding hands, and winks at his brother. Dean rolls his eyes, blushing, but he squeezes Castiel’s hand and pulls him closer.

When they pile back into the Impala later, joined by the army of stuffed animals they’d managed to accumulate (Sam and Dean in an informal competition to see who could win the most for Eileen and Cas, Cas and Eileen irritated at the insinuation that they couldn’t win toys themselves and walking away with even more, Jack being innocently and gleefully good at every fair game he tries), it’s with a peace and contentment that the family hasn’t felt in years. Sam and Eileen immediately fall asleep in the backseat, curled up together, and Jack is watching the Kansas landscape pass by the window with a soft smile. He’s holding a stuffed panda.

They don’t speak much, not wanting to wake up the sleeping couple or disturb the quiet peace they’d created, but Dean and Cas hold hands across the bench seat, and every few miles the angel will pick up their hands to press a kiss to Dean’s fingers. Dean feels like he’s flying, like he’s standing on top of the Empire State building, like he’s reached the peak of Mount Everest. For once in his life, he’s not afraid of the height.  

[wondereads]

Personal Recommendation (2/14/20)

The Sisters Grimm by Michael Buckley

I’m doing something new this week! I’ll be reviewing every book in The Sisters Grimm series. Each will get a small paragraph and get a rating out of ten, and then I’ll rate the series overall. Hope you guys enjoy it! Please keep in mind this will contain spoilers for the later books, so don’t read ahead if you don’t want some major spoilers!

#1: The Fairy-Tale Detectives     9/10

The very beginning! Sabrina and Daphne Grimm, after a year in foster care with some dubious caretakers, are being sent to live with their grandmother, who, until a few days ago, they didn’t know existed. Granny Relda lives in Ferryport Landing, a typical small town in almost all aspects except for the significant population of fairytale characters or Everafters. The first book serves as a good introduction to Buckley’s world. The sisters have been shielded from fairytales their entire lives, so it’s easy to insert explanations for the inexperienced reader. It also very quickly sets up Sabrina and Daphne’s characters by using their reaction to Granny Relda and her fairytale reveal. Daphne, being a younger, more sheltered child, accepts it wholeheartedly and is excited to get involved in solving magical mysteries. Sabrina, after protecting her sister from nutcases for a year, has a much more cynical outlook, and it takes an actual giant scooping Relda up for her to believe. There’s also some memorable introductions for other important characters such as Mr. Canis, Puck, Mirror, and Mayor Charming. In terms of the plot, Buckley consistently creates mysteries that have twists but aren’t too difficult to follow for late elementary students.

#2: The Unusual Suspects     7/10

Things are starting to get a little more intense. Sabrina and Daphne are required to go to school after being preoccupied with chasing giants around the countryside. Unfortunately, especially for Sabrina, who wants to regain some semblance of normalcy, something is killing the teachers at school. I forgot how gruesome the murders were. I also forgot that Sabrina is in sixth grade. This particular book always got on my nerves. Sabrina is clearly having some issues; her parents are missing, she’s trapped in a town with fairytale characters, she can’t see to escape humiliation either at the hands of Puck or her classmates, and now people are being killed left and right. And yet, her family refuses to see that she needs help and decides to reprimand her constantly instead. The villain for this book is particularly disturbing. I must warn readers-child manipulation and abuse is a common theme in these books. If you couldn’t already catch on in the first book, it becomes obvious here that Sabrina has some grudges against the magical community.

#3: The Problem Child     7/10

This book has a sort of in-between feeling to me. Sabrina comes upon a maniacal little girl dressed in red who is holding her currently enchanted parents captive. The little girl, obsessed with recreating her family, is convinced they are her own parents and controls a jabberwocky, her ‘kitty’. All she needs is a granny and a doggy-Granny Relda and Mr. Canis. Everything in this book pours into the next ones, while, unlike the other books, there isn’t much of a self-contained plot. Red comes more into play in Tales from the Hood and The Everafter War, the election sets up Magic and Other Misdemeanors, and the vorpal blade and Puck’s injury lead into Once Upon a Crime. This book, however, introduces Uncle Jake, one of the most interesting characters in terms of development, and it also begins the problem of Sabrina’s magic addiction. The events of this book contribute to Sabrina’s distrust of magic after she has some run-ins with her addiction. It is also when you maybe start to develop some affection for Charming, despite his over-inflated ego.

#4: Once Upon a Crime     10/10

This one is my personal favorite. After Puck’s run-in with the jabberwocky, the Grimms take an emergency trip to New York, Sabrina and Daphne’s old home. There they plead the king of Faerie, Oberon, to heal Puck. Unfortunately, Oberon is poisoned within hours of their arrival, and Relda, of course, takes the case. This book is so much fun because in Ferryport Landing they just sprinkle the whole town in forgetful dust. In New York, Everafters need real jobs and a way to cover their tracks as beings who don’t age. The Wizard of Oz works at Macy’s, Ebenezer Scrooge makes a living as a medium, and pirates such as Long John Silver feed off of Wall Street. It also addresses the downsides of that. Everafters don’t age; some of them don’t even look human. It comes as a shock to Sabrina, but her mother, Veronica Grimm, was secretly working with the New York Everafters to fix their problems. I feel that Sabrina finding a connection to her mother through the Everafter community is the first step she takes toward accepting her role as a Grimm.

#5: Magic and Other Misdemeanors     8/10

The conflict between humans and Everafters starts to take center stage. Someone in Ferryport Landing is stealing powerful magical artifacts, causing rips in time, but the Grimms have to split their attention with Mayor Heart’s new tyrannical rule. This is where the series begins to take a darker turn. The new mayor, the Queen of Hearts, and Sheriff Nottingham are set on running every human in Ferryport Landing out of town, and the divides between human and Everafter are becoming more pronounced by the day. The rips in time are particularly interesting, especially Sabrina and Daphne’s trip to the future, which really raises the stakes going forward. Also, the idea of a past Grimm arriving in town, giving Heart and Nottingham a chance to end the entire family, is very nervewracking. Also, the concept of Everafter-human relationships and how that would work presents some interesting conflicts.

#6: Tales from the Hood     10/10

There’s nothing I love more than a fractured fairytale. Intent on getting rid of the Grimms’ staunch protector, Heart and Nottingham put Mr. Canis, or the Big Bad Wolf, on trial. Some investigation in order to clear his name reveals that the story of Little Red Riding Hood might not be all true. Technically, the entire series is based on fairytales, but this is the first book where those stories are actually challenged. The actual story of Little Red Riding Hood is amazing, and it also ties into all the other stories the Wolf is present in. Also, I love Red, the sane Red, and I always get so happy when she’s cured. Once again, Sabrina clashes strongly with her family in this one, for understandable reasons. I’m less inclined to side with her on this one, but she definitely learns her lesson.

#7: The Everafter War     8/10

The Grimms are finally united! Henry and Veronica Grimm are woken up from their magical sleep, but Henry, having too many bad memories, wants to leave town immediately. Unfortunately, the Scarlet Hand has taken over all of Ferryport Landing and only a small resistance stands in their way. There’s a lot of family drama in this one. The dynamics of Sabrina, Daphne, and their parents are all out of whack after spending over a year apart. On one hand, they now have parental support again. On the other, Henry can’t seem to conceptualize that Daphne is, in fact, not five anymore. If that isn’t enough drama for you, Puck finds out he and Sabrina are married in the future, and Snow and Charming are caught up in a soap opera of their own. Also, not to mention the plethora of betrayals in this book. The plot is really picking up here.

#8: The Inside Story     8/10

This one took quite some imagination. After the reveal of the Master’s identity as their own beloved Mirror, Sabrina, Daphne, and Puck pursue him and Pinocchio through the Book of Everafter, a living book filled with fairytales that could actually change history. I find it absolutely hilarious that the kids absolutely refuse to follow the story no matter what. Also, this is where Sabrina starts coming into her own. She’s going through a rough patch in this book. As would anyone whose best friend turned out to be the leader of a magical terrorist organization. By the way, if you are connected to these characters in any way, Mirror’s betrayal will hit you like a punch to the gut. She’s having trouble trusting her judgement, which will have her come back stronger than ever. Also, it’s nice to see her and Puck get through a couple sentences without a barrage of insults. Finally, Relda was such a badass in this book. If you didn’t love her before, you definitely love her now.

#9: The Council of Mirrors     9/10

It’s time for a happily ever after. With Mirror running loose in Ferryport Landing and the rebellion in tatters, things are looking bleak. Especially when the twenty-four remaining magic mirrors issue a prophecy putting everyone’s fate in the hands of Sabrina and Daphne Grimm. Sabrina starts out pretty broken in this book. She’s been betrayed, her grandmother is possessed by an evil mirror, and now everyone is expecting her to lead an army. I absolutely love that when she gets the push she needs from the mirrors it plays to her strengths. She’s a master of planning and subterfuge, and it’s so nice to see it come out. On a less chipper note, I hate Atticus with everything in me, and I was so happy he ended the way he did. In terms of Mirror, I found it poetic, but also so typical of a kid’s book, that he was defeated by the one thing he never had: love. Finally, the reason this book doesn’t get a 10/10 is because I felt the epilogues were kind of rushed and unrealistic. However, they don’t have much impact on the book overall, and I still loved most of it!

Overall 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

The Sisters Grimm is one of my favorite series from childhood. The characters are realistic, relatable, and get great development. Kids books are great because there’s no worries about the idea being too juvenile. This book could never be an adult book, the ideas in it are too silly. However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t amazing, and I find the crazy ideas and cheesy lessons absolutely charming. It gives some unexpected sides to some well-known characters, and the amount of thought that went into incorporating classic and even more obscure characters into the modern world was crazy and very amusing at times. I also suspect that this series is the root of my fondness for fractured fairytales. I would recommend this book to people who like modern fantasy, sibling relationships, and fairytale characters in a decidedly un-mystical setting.

The Author

Michael Buckley: American, 51 years old, also wrote N.E.R.D.S. and Undertow

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every two weeks, and I take recommendations. Check out my about me post for more!

[revchainsaw]

Audition (1999)

Greetings my dear followers, and welcome to today's service at the Cult Tent Revival! Today we have on offering a movie who's reputation precedes it. Please brace yourselves for the godmother of torture porn ... Audition.

The Message

When salary man Aoyoma loses his wife he is heart broken. As the years pass his son matures and begins to feel bad for his lonely father. Aoyomas son urges his father to move on and to find love. Spurred by this endorsement Aoyoma shares his lady troubles with close friends, one of whom comes up with a master plan. They will hold a film audition, under the presupposition that there is a major role in an upcoming move to play a wife, many eligible women will come forward and Aoyoma will have his pick of the candidates. When the time comes they will announce that the film lost it's financial backers and Aoyoma will be left with a long list of bachelorettes.

Against his better judgment a lonely Aoyoma agrees to the charade. Many quirky and interesting young ladies from the area show up for interviews and auditions, but the wistful and brooding Asami is the one who catches Aoyomas eye. Though hesitant to act on his deceit Aoyoma eventually caves and begins to see Asami. It is revealed that she is the survivor of quite a bit of loss and abuse, and a former ballerina. Aoyoma seems not to put a whole lot of thought into this and seduces Asami. The stricken Asami asks Aoyoma to promise her that he will love no one else but her. He agrees not making any caveats for his family or deceased relative.

After the relationship is consummated Asami disappears and thus Aoyoma begins a desperate hunt to find his new girlfriend. However, many of the leads Aoyoma trails down using the information he gathered from the audition lead nowhere and the few that do turn up are quite disturbing. Eventually upon returning home Aoyoma sits down and enjoys a nice glass of bourbon, only to find Asami had beat him home and drugged his glass.

Fact and Fiction blur as we are treated to a smorgasbord of graphic horror. Asami beheading her old dancing instructor, feeding vomit to a tortured soul she has been keeping in an old sack, and of course the brutal and horrific torture of Aoyomi himself. Asami is eventually discovered in the midst of brutalizing Aoyomi by his son and suffers a fall. She breaks her neck but not before she repeats her vows to the mutilated Aoyomi and our film ends.

Let's get to the Benediction

Best Aspect: Dead Meat Cute

if you were to remove some of the brutal imagery from the second half of the film, and were to ignore the downright misogyny of a plan that includes a faux audition to lure women into a relationship you would wind up with the formula for a pretty basic rom com. In fact, without the eery score it could be said that a large part of Audition actually plays like a by the numbers love story. It is this morbid inverstion of these roles that actually serves the horror of this movie far more than it's torture porn and graphic imagery. Many people have shyed away from this movie due to it's reputation for fear that it is nothing more than graphic and shocking violence, but this is far from the case. Audition is a good movie, and it's hero and villain are quite sympathetic.

Worst Aspect: It Was All a Dream

There is much debate online regarding what was "real" in this film. Things begin happening where logic is thrown out of the window. I was personally tempted to fall back on the traditional Japanese ghost story themes of wronged women, of which Asami is one, and accept that something supernatural was going on. This was unfortunately negated by the films own director confirming that everything we are seeing on screen is real, just in a jumbled way due to the protagonist's drug induced state. That still doesn't explain some things and it really feels like Takashi Miikie is channeling his inner David Lynch here. The debate rages on even after Miike's revelation, because if you are trying to give this film a logical timeline we are confronted with many logical errors that a drug trip just can't explain away. The Best you can do is just sit back and accept what you are seeing. Enjoy the ride, but don't try to create a timeline or you will have a bad time.

Best and Worst Character: Predators and Prey

Asami and Aoyomi share the first and last place for best and worst character. Asami is a victim, she is taking power back, and she is clearly an intriquing black widow of sorts. Once she dons her torture gear the film is all in on her. We want to see this poor child take the power back into her hands, but she is also misdirected and though Aoyomi is not innocent she is definitely going to irredeemable levels of mistreatment to make her point. She's very unsympathetic and it really downplays Aoyomis wrong doings to the point that many will disagree with me that he deserved any of this.

Aoyomi is often interpreted as this innocent widower. His loss does make him sympathetic. He was genuinely looking for a connection and not just for sex, though if my interpretation of the "dream sequence" is correct, he did cave and have sex with a few of the auditioners besides Asami. That is however left up to your personal interpretation. He was still in the wrong however for his lies. He and his friend intentionally crafted a scenario that was inteded to trap young women so that he could choose from them. In a non horror movie this may have been a quirky object for a meet cute, but in both Audition and real life, it's fucking creepy and wrong. Asami saw this, and so should the audience. Of course I don't think that Aoyomi was evil, just misquided. He did however place himself in a position to do harm and Asami is an avenging Demon to punish the wicked.

What makes this film work however is this ambiguity. This is not a story of Good vs Evil, it's a story of Good and Evil. They both exist within and without one another and Audition is an important reminder of how easily our experiences and our loss can blind us to the moral implications of our actions.

Best Kill: Piano Wire

Within the dream sequence Asami is shown to approach her old dance instructor while he is playing on the Piano. She produces her weapon of choice, a piano wire, and the dance instructor gladly accepts his fate. We are greeted with flashes of several poignant images as she saws back and forth into the flesh of his neck before fully decapitating him, and his severed head lands with a satisfying and bloody thud onto the ground.

Most WTF Moment: In The Dog House

We are treated to an incredibly visceral scenario at one point in the film where Asami feeds her own vomit to a victim. Earlier on in the movie there is a writhing sack in Asami's home that we are left to ponder the contents of. Of course, we presume it is something living. In the dream sequence in the third act the bag is unbound and a man with several missing extremities slithers out. We can hear Asami of camera retching. She makes her way into focus and she produces a silver dog dish full of ... well, you guessed it. She places it before her pet, and the mutilated man gladly accepts his dinner.

Summary

I have stayed away from Audition for a very long time. I remember hearing rumours, though they may be just that, around the time that The Devil's Rejects was released, that there was only one movie that Rob Zombie was too afraid to watch a second time. That movie was Audition. That was enough of a negative endorsement for me. I am a fan of horror, of dread, of fear, but I think that in the pursuit of those experiences repulsion and gore can be excellent servants. but there are many films that think that disgust and gore are enough to inspire fear and that is just not the case. I was afraid that Audition was one of those movies. It is revolting, it is upsetting, and vile. But it is also terrifying and phantasmagoric. Audition walks the line of torture porn expertly and produces something better than a lazy gross out feature. It has layers, it has pathos, and more importantly it allows us to imagine our monsters more complexly.

Overall Grade: B

[nsheetee]

Broken Hearts Club

Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader, ft. Lee Donghyuck x Reader

Genre: Bulleted AU, High School AU, Heartbroken AU || Angst, Fluff

Length: 4.2k

Warnings: Swearing, informally written, slight enemies to lovers au

Summary: When a video of your boyfriend, Donghyuck, making out with Jaemin’s girlfriend, Mina, circles around school, you and Jaemin end your relationships and join the Broken Hearts Club, a place where students go when their hearts are broken and in need of repair.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★

the first time you met na jaemin was when you walked up to the doors of the broken hearts club

you didn’t recognize him as your classmate, nor as the really good dancer on your school’s dance team, not even as just some random good looking guy in your class

to you, he was someone who you had a connection with that was unlike the connection shared with anyone else

your ex, donghyuck, left you for jaemin’s girlfriend, mina, and every single person in the school was aware of it

now you were standing in front of the doors of the club that was about to not only heal your broken hearts but also your faith in relationships

(ya’ll didn't know that yet tho)

you and hyuck were the school’s power couple

you’re the class president, treasurer of the national honor society, and vice president of the ecology club

everyone knows you as a successful student who tutors others in your free time, the one who created the recycling program at your school, and was just an overall nice person to everyone

hyuck is the varsity soccer captain and the class clown, people love his enthusiasm and how he lit up any room he walked into

that’s also what you loved about him awwww

when you first got together, people thought you weren’t gonna last because of how different you were from each other

which ultimately was the case (yikes)

but actually, you and hyuck were together for almost all of high school

you went to all the dances together and sat at lunch together, you would be seen in the library studying with him and not so secretly holding hands under the table

you loved dating hyuck, he was fun and carefree and in your stressful life, you needed someone like him

you even told him you loved him during your two year anniversary when you went stargazing on top of his roof together

(he promised he loved you too)

(he lied)

(and he lied every time he said it after that)

the whole student body was  s h o o k  when the video of hyuck playing tonsil hockey with jaemin’s (now ex) girlfriend circled around

“how could hyuck do that to y/n? they’re so nice :(”

everyone felt pity for you, and all you could do was gingerly accept it, your heart being a bit too fragile to care about the embarrassment of the situation

the sad eyes and soft smiles people sent you were the reason you decided to join the broken hearts club

a place where the side eye glances and the soft tones were non-existent and where you hoped to get your heart to stop breaking every time you walked into school to see mina in hyuck’s arms- a place that belonged to you only days ago

jaemin’s situation was a little different  

mina and him were only dating for a few months, but it was enough for jaemin to fall head over heels in love with her

jaemin worshipped her- celebrated every anniversary in their short time together, bought her food and jewelry, he even got into a fight with an upperclassman football player because of a rumor that he hit on mina

mina was the super preppy head cheerleader !!!

but she was genuine about her excitement

that was the only thing genuine about her oops

and that's something jaemin absolutely loved her for- the child-like excitement she holds for everything she does reminded him of himself

jaemin was always trying to see the bright side, his teammates on the dance team knew him for his positivity- he was always trying to be positive for his own sake and for his teammates

but jaemin hates liars and, unfortunately, mina lied to him

a lot

about super little things (at first)

like how she told him she was with her family when she was actually out at the movies with her friends

or when she would say she couldn’t text jaemin back because her phone was dead when it really wasn’t

these things irked jaemin but he got over it

his heart eyes for mina blinded him

when he saw that video, there was a small place in his heart that was not surprised

his attempts at being a positive and happy person vanished and he became angry at mina, for lying to him and for cheating on him

he blamed her for his broken heart and for ruining the relationship

he joined the broken hearts club to get rid of the pure anger he felt towards his ex

but enough back story, lets get to the good stuff >>

 so neither you or jaemin really knew what happened in the bh club

you just assumed everyone gathered once a week, talked about their feelings, and then left after an hour

but you were so wrong

during the first meeting, you learned that the bh club sponsors activities to get people to create new memories with others so their hearts can heal

(awwWWW)

so you and jaemin found yourselves at the zoo one day after school with the rest of the club for one of their activities

they buddied you and jaemin up (since everyone else already had a buddy) and told you to:

1. have fun! :D

2. don't cry :(

3. remember, you don't need their love

so with these three “rules” you and jaemin awkwardly walked around the zoo

ya’ll didn’t know how to act around each other

could you confide in him since he was in the same situation?? or were you sworn enemies cuz your ex’s are together now??

it was so confusing to you, but you noticed one thing: jaemin didn’t seem to like you

he didn't reply back when you attempted to start conversation

he would roll his eyes at your comments about the animals

it was starting to get tiring, just being around someone like him made your shoulders sag and your mood go down

you were in the aquarium where all the penguins were, several people gathered around to watch the penguin feeding and you couldn’t see over everyone :(

jaemin rolled his eyes “Here, step up onto the bar, you’ll be able to see”

“I'll fall off”

“no you won’t, I promise I'll hold onto you.”

“I don’t believe you” to jaemin, it was a small and insignificant promise, but your mind went back to the promise hyuck made about loving you and how every time he said it since then was a lie

it didn’t matter to you if it was “I promise I'll hold on” or “I promise I love you”

your hands were sweaty at the thought of someone promising you something and then not upholding it again

jaemin rolled his eyes for the millionth time, and forced you up onto the bar, keeping an arm around your knees and your hand immediately went into his soft blonde hair to steady yourself

you watched the penguin feeding like this- so enthusiastic about the cute little penguins eating their fish uwu

and jaemin watched you- he realized you reminded him a bit of himself, before the mina thing happened

he used to get happy about the little things- he loved getting caught up in the little moments in life because it made him realize that happiness was not a destination, but a journey

jaemin sulked some more as he held onto you during the penguin feeding, wondering where this mindset of his went

god, mina really screwed him over

 so you and jaemin kept participating in the bh club’s activities

the next activity was a trip to the pound, where you got to watch kittens being born

(”be careful when you hold them jaemin, your large man hands could strangle them”)

(”I won’t, for once in your life just trust me”)

you still didn’t trust anything jaemin said, but after the zoo, he didn’t seem that cold towards you anymore

when you both held a baby kitten in your hands for the first time, neither of you could help but coo at it- talking in a baby voice and absolutely melting at how the mama cat tended to her kids

afterwards, jaemin was a bit embarrassed about the cooing, but you laughed it off and said there was no need to be embarrassed

it was the first time you had a truly civil conversation, and jaemin found that he liked when you genuinely smiled at him

it made him want to smile too

 after that, the next club activity was at a new restaurant that opened downtown, where jaemin choked on his cherry soda when you told him the story of how you locked the vice principal in his office until he agreed to start a recycling program at school

(”you did whAT”)

(”every school needs a recycling program, I wasn't asking for that much?”)

this is where jaemin thinks he first started to admire your persistence about something you were passionate about

when you started talking about how important it is to save our planet, jaemin almost choked on his cherry soda again

this time it was because he was too distracted by the sparkle in your eyes and how you bounced in your seat when you got really excited

he blushed when you caught him staring- heart hammering in his chest

he welcomed the feeling wholeheartedly- loving the rush he got from being around you

 outside of the club, you and jaemin slowly started hanging out

first it was to study for your shared english class, then it became less studying and more talking about how romeo and juliet were dumbasses, and other Philosophical Ramblings™

soon, jaemin would make it a routine to meet you by one of the rose bushes outside of school and you would walk in together

this  s h o o k  the school, you and jaemin walking in together that first day sent a new rumor running through everyones mouths

“jaemin and y/n are a thing now”

the two people who were the most affected by this rumor were surprisingly not you and jaemin

but it was mina and hyuck

hyuck was just deadass confused on how you and jaemin even got together- and at the same time relieved that you found someone else

he obviously felt guilty about cheating on you 

(he wasn’t dead inside ofc he felt guilty)

but seeing you happy with jaemin made his guilt ease away- even though he still knew what he did was wrong

but mina was just straight up jealous

watching jaemin in the halls- the way he acted towards you and the way he was different with you than when he was with her

it got her pissed and the relationship between her and hyuck took a sudden turn...

 when you went to support jaemin during one of the dance team’s performances, this only fueled the dating rumor

after the performance, you greeted jaemin and congratulated him on a great performance, people around you secretly watching your interaction

“I had no idea you could move like that jaemin !! it was like a different you on stage.”

“it’s the same me, I promise” jaemin laughed but you shifted your eyes away uncomfortably

the “p” word was still a bit sensitive for you, no matter the situation 

jaemin noticed this and internally winced at himself- he knew how much you hated that word and he quickly tried to turn the awkward atmosphere around

“c’mon, let’s go eat and I can show you a few more moves. I swear, it’s me who was up on that stage !!”

  jaemin found himself to be significantly less angry now

he finds himself seeing the glass half full again, and it was something people around him started to notice as well

he felt like he’s almost back to his old self and he doesn't know whether to thank the bh club or to thank you

you also don’t feel that ache in your heart that hyuck left behind anymore

jaemin was somehow training you to accept promises from him, and you couldn’t be any more thankful for him

(”I promise this pork taste good, here, try some”) = when jaemin cooked for you for the first time

(”I promise this looks good on you”) = when you were a bit self conscious about your new sweater

(”I promise I’ll be there for you”) = when jaemin held you to his chest after you had a bad nightmare one night

these days, a new ache settles in your chest

it’s the good kind- the kind that has tingles running down your back at the sight of jaemin and a bright glow on your cheeks whenever you talk to him

you like jaemin

you felt guilty about your feelings at first- you were scared that your brain was just trying to get you to cope with your heart break by using jaemin as a rebound

the day jaemin realizes he loves you was when you snuck into his room one tuesday night

you were wearing a super baggy hoodie and you tripped over it as you climbed through the window and both of you couldn’t stop laughing as you fell into jaemin’s bed, pushing your faces in his pillows to quiet yourselves down

you don’t even remember why you came over, probably some lame excuse like homework?? or a last minute movie marathon?

you honestly could just lay down and look at jaemin all day long if he would let you (which he would) no need for you to make up fake reasons

you looked up from your pillow and jaemin saw how happy you looked, so different from when you were standing before him in from of the club door months ago

“you look happy”

he didn’t mean to say it out loud but the words just tumbled out of him

you looked up at the ceiling and thought for a second

jaemin had filled the past few months with his presence, slowly slipping in through the cracks in your heart 

cracks that were there before you even knew hyuck, much less dated him

that’s when you knew jaemin wasn’t a rebound for you- he was the real deal

“yeah.. I am... are you?” you asked, almost nervously

jaemin was considerably more happy and more satisfied with himself than ever before

jaemin knew he was in love

he was happy < you did that

he felt good about himself < you were there to make him see it

“yeah, I am happy”

“really? you promise?”

“I promise, sweetheart”

 jaemin was planning to confess with one of the roses from the rose bush when you would meet up in the morning

he had a speech planned out in his head

he kept repeating it over and over again as he held the flower carefully so he wouldn’t cut himself on the thorns

“hey”

it wasn’t you, it was mina

“...hello” jaemin replied, looking past mina to keep an eye out for when you would approach

“how have you been?”

“that’s none of your business... I’m sorry, could you just leave me alone? I'm waiting for someone”

he didn’t mean to be so rude but he was getting anxious as time passed and you weren’t showing up

“jaemin... are you waiting for y/n? didn’t you hear?”

“hear what”

“hyuck and I broke up, he went back to y/n and they're dating again”

jaemin stood still, looking at mina like she just grew a second head

he felt blood trickle down his hand, his eyes caught the sight of his fingers gripping around the rose tightly

he couldn’t believe what he was hearing (and he probably shouldn’t have, considering mina had a track record of lying)

mina stepped closer and reached out to jaemin’s other hand that wasn’t preoccupied with the rose

mina was reminded of the imagines of you and jaemin together- jealousy filling her vision as she watched jaemin break down in front of her

“we don’t need them jaemin, we can be happy together again. remember when we were happy?”

jaemin didn’t remember, his thoughts and memories were now filled with you, he guessed the broken hearts club succeeded in helping him create new memories to heal his broken heart

but all of his new memories were of you now

his newly angered heart made him say his next words

“yeah, okay. let’s get back together”

here’s the deal- you didn’t get back together with hyuck

he came up to your house that morning

he kept apologizing for cheating on you, grabbing onto any part of you to get you to stop walking away from him

when mina broke up with him the previous night, he didn’t know where else to go but to you

you were always there for him and suddenly when he had no one, his mind took him to you- swallowing his pride as he faced you again

you finally stopped, looked at him straight in the eyes and squared your shoulders

if there was one thing you learned from the broken hearts club, it was this:

“I don’t need your love, hyuck”

but what shocked you was when you got to school, walking into the cafeteria that day and seeing your jaemin sitting with mina

she was feeding him from her plate and talking animatedly with him

and he was taking it all in from her- every kiss on the cheek and every laugh from her lips, he accepted it

he looked up from the table, those once warm, chocolate eyes meeting yours

they were now cold, they were empty, they were angry again

you were confused- what happened to jaemin? why was he sitting with mina? did they get back together now that her and hyuck broke up?

the questions made you confused and dizzy and you got out of there asap

despite your confusion, the familiar numbing feeling of your heart cracking returned

you trusted jaemin, the promises he made to you filling your head and you felt like you could break down right there in that hallway

why did the people you trust always hurt you in the end?

despite both of you having broken hearts once again, neither of you went back to the club

 jaemin spent a whole four (4) days with mina before he realized he could literally not stand her anymore

she hadn’t changed as a person- she was the same cheerful cheerleader that jaemin dated months ago

but jaemin’s mind was still preoccupied with thoughts of you

and he slowly realized he couldn’t feel anything for mina because...

how could he when there was someone like you walking around- he knew you were perfect for him

one night while jaemin and mina were on a date, she off-handedly mentioned to jaemin how crazy the varsity soccer team is this time of year

when she went to go cheer for them, all of the s/o’s of the soccer players joined along for a game to support them

jaemin hummed absentmindedly “that must’ve been awkward”

“why?”

“y/n would have been there, I don’t think you two would be very friendly with each other”

“why would y/n be there? she’s not dating anyone on the soccer team”

suddenly, both mina and jaemin stopped moving and jaemin looked up from his food, fork in mid-air

mina had a look on her face that said she knew: she fucked up

mina had always been a compulsory liar- it was just so easy and addicting for things to go her own way when all she had to do was bend the truth a little

but at this moment, she only slightly wished she could be the person people saw her as when she walked down the halls at school: a genuinely preppy cheerleader

not the sneaky, lying bitch she actually was

“I mean-”

“what do you mean, y/n’s not dating anyone on the soccer team?”

jaemin didn’t know what to think, did you and hyuck break up again?

his heart stupidly fluttered with hope

“does it matter-” she tried to laugh it off

“yes, it does”

jaemin was starting to see in red, anger pouring into all his sense as he waited for mina’s explanation

“they... never got back together in the first place” she admitted, looking down at her hands in her lap

“so you lied?” jaemin asked, but he knew the answer

“yes, jaemin. I lied.”

jaemin couldn’t hear anymore of this, he stood up and walked out.

jaemin felt like a fool, he felt stupid- how could he trust mina’s words? how could he not hear about you and hyuck never getting back together?

for once jaemin’s anger dissipated and it turned into something else

a feeling that made it hard to breath and felt like his chest was caving in from the pain

he felt legitimate heartbreak

this time, jaemin can’t blame anyone but himself

this time, jaemin trusted a liar and he got played

he lost you, and it was all his own fault

 jaemin spends the next few weeks in silent self-affliction and guilt

not even his friends could pull him out of the cavity he created for himself

one day after school was finished, jaemin made his way through the empty halls, like a mindless zombie walking down the stairs and out to the parking lot when someone tapped him on his backpack

it was the second to last person he thought would talk him right now

(read: you were THE last person he thought would talk to him right now)

it was hyuck

jaemin and hyuck both stand in the parking lot, wind whipping around them and tension growing as hyuck refuses to look up at jaemin and jaemin refuses to look anywhere but at hyuck

“listen... I know I have absolutely no right to stop you like this but there’s something I have to say” hyuck says, the anxiety of his words weighted down his whole body and he almost couldn’t see straight

jaemin raised his eyebrows in question and hyuck took it as an okay to continue

“I've known y/n for so long, almost four years. we’ve spent so much time together... but.. I never loved them. I tried so hard. I wanted I love them, I still wish I could, but I can’t find it in me. they deserve to be loved, jaemin.”

it was hard for hyuck to admit his true feelings about this situation, but he needed to say it out loud

and this was something jaemin needed to hear

“what is it that you need to say.” jaemin knew this wasn’t the point of this whole conversation

“they said they don’t need my love, and they really don’t. I won’t be able to treat them right, anyway. I don’t know how, but you managed to erase almost four years of my memories in their mind in only a few months and replace them with your own.” hyuck sighed

“My point is... don’t give up on them. it’s your love they need now.”

 the next day, you opened your locker, an envelope falling to your feet.

‘broken hearts club room after school - j’

you scoffed, he couldn’t even come up to you in person to give you this?

you threw away the note in anger, but the invitation lingered in your mind all day and by the time the last bell of the day rang, your feet were itching to go up the stairs to the club room

you rounded the corner, down the hallway, and up the stairs to the club room, not really in control of your feet

you couldn’t believe that a few months ago, you were in the exact same position with jaemin just a few feet away.

you didn’t know him at all back then

you didn’t know he liked cherry cola, or pork, or that he danced like it was his reason for being put on earth

you didn’t know that he hated liars and that he truly did try to keep all his promises

and as you opened the door to the club room and watched as jaemin turned around to face you

you realized just how much you missed him, just how much you would do anything for him, just how much you loved him and you knew

it didn’t matter how many promises he makes, you would now believe every single one of them

jaemin was a bit surprised you showed up, but he wouldn't take you for granted any longer

“hey”

“hey” you surprisingly laughed, and jaemin came closer, dragging you down into a seat at one of the desks while he paced in front of it

you let him tell his side of the story- and jaemin was thankful you did, the fact that you didn’t know the reason behind his actions was killing him

you were surprised by his story- the miscommunications between you and him made both of you laugh and you stood up from your seat and walked up to jaemin, stopping him from wearing out the tile floors any longer

it was weird how you could laugh at the situation now, but jaemin need you to know how serious he was

“y/n... really... I'm sorry. I promised you so much when we got to know each other, knowing how you felt about promises and at the first test of trust... I broke them.”

you shake your head, gathered jaemin’s hands in yours and pulled him closer

“jaemin, this wasn’t your fault. don’t blame yourself” jaemin felt light, he couldn't believe you were real- right here, right now- forgiving him

“I promise” jaemin chuckled at his use of words “I’ll make it up to you.”

“oh? how are you gonna make it up to me?” you asked, curious as to what he had in mind

“I promise... I’m gonna love you until your heart is strong enough to never break again”

his words ringed out, loud and clear, filling you with hope and determination

you leaned in and pressed a kiss to Jaemin’s cheek, and when you leaned back to see jaemin’s reaction, the conviction in his eyes shined brightly

you both leaned in for a real kiss

a soft, pillowy, warm kiss that was the perfect new memory to start your relationship

jaemin promised he was going to love you

and you were going to believe him

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★

[formerlyrunephoenix6769]

It would seem that the RWBY FNDM is currently gripped in a merchandise controversy, namely the tshirt below.  

The discourse surrounding the T shirt has once again brought up the nature of Blake and Adam’s relationship. 

Some are supportive of Roosterteeth’s decision to pull the merchandise, and others not so much. And it would seem that those who are not in agreement with the company’s decision fall into a number of camps. 

I'm of the opinion that those people who are calling others 'snowflakes' or 'over sensitive' haven't been in an abusive relationship/situation and therefore don't understand why some people are so upset and disappointed with the RWBY Manga Women T Shirt design in the first place. 

I don't think I have ever seen an abusive relationship portrayed seriously in this medium and an abusive relationship portrayed so well, in general.

CRWBY have made it unequivocally known that Blake and Adam's relationship is/was abusive, via out right verbal cues, and abusive rhetoric and behaviours recognisable for those unfortunate people who have been in abusive situations and hopefully eye opening for those who haven’t. 

If this wasn't the case, why would so many people be coming forward and sharing their own stories and how much the Blake and Adam situation felt too real?

People who are going on about "it didn't happen on screen, so it didn't happen," are ignoring the visual and verbal cues that have been peppered throughout the series from the very beginning, starting in the Black trailer.

In a strange way, this lack of perception on the part of members of the audience who refuse to see that Blake and Adam's relationship is abusive is sórt of a meta commentary on Abusive relationships and how they are perceived general.

I'll get back to that point, but first, How Abusive RL can come about,

Often an Abuser will be charming, a pillar of the community, an angel in the streets and a devil behind closed doors. They present themselves as one thing, when, deep down, they are another.

They isolate their victim, with emotional and mental manipulation, guilt tripping,

"I Don't Know What I'd Do Without You?"

"Your Friends Don't Like Me, It's Me or Them!"

All through this stage they will be tender, loving caring, touching the victim in reassurance, reinforcing their falsehoods in an action known as handling and grooming.

"Your Parents Are Snobs, They Just Don't Want Us To Be Together!"

"They Don't Understand Us or How Special We Are"

Lying, gaslighting, and isolation from others who care,  wear down the victim’s self worth and options until they are absolutely reliant on the abuser for everything, emotional, mental and physical well being. At this point the victim is charmed and stripped of their autonomy.

Not long after this arguments will become more frequent and explosive, nasty comments directed at the victim, attacking their insecurities and the victim will have no idea what they have done wrong but they will believe it is their fault as at this point they don't know if they are coming or going.

 Gas Lighting and Guilt Trip groundwork complete.

"You Don't Support Me!"

"You're just like your parents"

The victim will trip over themselves to reassure the abuser that is not the case, going so far as to be physically intimate, handling etc, as the abuser "sulks" or withholds affection... Making the victim work for it.

Then this is usually when the physical abuse starts..

First time, it is an accident, Second time

"I'm Sorry. I Didn't Mean It"

"This Is Your Own Fault!, For Making Me Angry!"

"You Made Me Do This! If You Had Just Done As You Were Told!"

The abuser will blame the victim for all their problems and things that the victim can not possibly control. The abuse will escalate whether that be emotional, mental or physical abuse.  

It takes so much strength for a victim to leave, and no amount of demands to leave from friends will make them. 

This is in no way the victims fault.  Victims are brainwashed at this point, programmed and also absolutely terrified.

 They have been perfectly conditioned to the abuser. Isolated from friends and family, sometimes they have no financial independence whatsoever and in some cases children are involved and the abuser will also threaten their wellbeing. Some abusers may even threaten suicide if a victim ever thinks about leaving.  

This fear isn't something that just goes away or disappears. Leaving an abuser is a difficult and hard decision, depending on the circumstances, might not even be an option at the time, but when they finally do leave, with courage and bravery, it is usually by running, in a moment when their abuser is unable to follow, (some cases it's planned in advance, in others is a bolt as soon as an opportunity presents itself. It can result in changing appearance, identities, hiding in a sanctuary of sorts, and always with the fear that the abuser might find them.)

Is this sounding familiar?

Back to the 'meta commentary', unfortunately we as a society have a nasty habit of blaming the victim.

Remember how I said Abusers are often charming and are pillars of the community?

"Oh, but Person A is such a good person and does such great things, there's no way they could be abusive!"

"They are a Police officer, surely they would never do that. She must be blowing it out of proportion and making stuff up."

"His wife is 5ft nothing. I'm pretty sure he can defend himself against her. Unless he's a total pussy."

"Oh, B, I'm sure it is not all that bad!"

The thing is about abusers, they don't do this stuff in public for all to see, (unless they get really cavalier and comfortable in their control of the victim) .

Their power and control works best when they keep their victim off kilter and have all around them not believing them, so to keep the victim second guessing their own sanity and questioning the nature of the relationship.

Women are beaten to death, stabbed, shot, etc by abusive partners every day, and it is an unfortunate truth that after the fact people make comments such as, 

“I can’t believe he killed her. He always seemed so nice!”

By then it's too late! And maybe people ought to have listened?

This is exactly what the part of the fandom are doing by calling others "snowflakes" or "overly sensitive". They are belittling those members of the fandom who are telling you (often from their own experiences,) that this is an abusive relationship! 

That they recognise all the ques that the audience has been given. And reducing it to merely a lovers quarrel belittles those who have or are experiencing the same things.

"I don't see this relationship as abusive."

Let's have a look at this shall we?

In Adam’s short, he brings up Blake’s parents, calling them cowards, alluding to Blake that she is also a coward. This is something we find out that Blake actually said to her parents back when she was 12/13 (a very vulnerable age). Adam is playing on her insecurities. He also guilt trips her and then reinforces it. 

Adam: I don't know. I'm out there fighting for us, and when you fight, people get hurt. What, do you want me to just abandon our cause? Like your parents?

Blake: (worried) No! I'm not saying that! I... I don't know.

Adam: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought them up. I just get scared when it feels like you don't believe in me anymore.

Later in vol 2 we see Blake running herself ragged, racked with guilt about what the WF are doing, she also admits to her team, 

and she did, 

Often the FNDM has been torn about the exact meaning of Blake’s comment in Mountain Glen and that all boils down to how you perceive the exact nature of their relationship. However, a reminder that abuse can come from many places, family members, spouses, partners, girlfriends, boyfriends and even close friends, abuse takes many forms. At this juncture there is no exact definition as to nature of Blake and Adam’s relationship. 

Yet we move on to vol 3. 

This action in of itself does not leave the Abuse question up for debate. He not only stabs her but then proceeds to threaten everything that Blake holds dear. And as we know he lops off Yang’s arm. (for the sake of argument we shall ignore the under currant of Blake and Yang’s developing relationship at this moment as there is no onscreen indication that Adam is aware of exactly what Yang means to Blake, other than Yang’s reaction and Blake’s terrified look when he says,  “Starting with her!”)

(Often abusers will threaten those nearest and dearest to the victim in a bid to maintain control and keep the victim fearful)

In Vol4 and Vol 5 we begin to see the slow unraveling of the morally grey freedom fighter persona when Adam becomes obsessed with Blake and her family, to the detriment of his mission and the overall WF objective, calling for their assassination with an ulterior motive of retrieving Blake. 

Again, this control is abusive rhetoric 101. And often abusers are on the surface charming, collected and well put together in public, only for that facacde to slip when feeling that their control is waning. 

  Adam becomes almost unhinged to the point that it is commented on by the Albain brothers. That he has lost sight and has other priorities. 

At the end of vol 5 , Blake finally stands up to him, and his peers begin to see him for what he truly is, a coward who was not wholly there for the faunus cause as he not only tries to kill everyone there out of spite, but then flees. Abandoning his fellow WF members. 

And that brings us to Volume 6 where the abuse narrative is further cemented. 

Not only does he stalk her across a continent, which for many abuse survivors is all too real, he tactically picks his opportunity by waiting until Blake is in a vulnerable position, away from her teammates. 

Again, this is a tactic often used by abusers when they track down their victims. It is a very real fear of many survivors. 

Blake is terrified out of her wits. And Adam reems off yets another comments from the Abusers Handbook 101.  He tries to shift the blame for his problems onto her. 

Adam is wholly responsible for his own actions, he is a grown ass adult.  

The fight between the pair is incredibly violent. Adam is out for blood and Blake is fighting for her life. Throughout the fight he continues to taunt, shift blame and play on Blake’s insecurities. Using every tactic of the previous grooming as ‘handling’ and ‘sweet nothings’ will no longer work. This is once again pulling on the groundwork of gas lighting and guilt tripping, trying to get into her head which is a tactic often used by abusers. 

Adam: I wouldn't have to be doing this if you just behaved!

Suddenly, Adam grabs his sword and flings away Blake's cleaver, before knocking her in the side of her head with the hilt of Wilt. Blake gets knocked back several feet.

Adam: But you're selfish!

Adam knocks Blake back again.

Adam: You're a coward!

It is when Yang arrives that the situation shifts and the audience are given confirmation of the nature of what exactly Yang and Blake’s relationship is becoming and so cements and subtly confirms the nature of Adam and Blake’s relationship in the past, or at least how Adam views it. 

Adam gives it to us himself, when he flies into a jealous rage when he sees the way the two girls look at each other, 

Adam: Hit me already!

Yang dodges.

Adam: What does she even see in you?!!

This comment in of itself, and the taunts leading up to this, is not the reaction of a butthurt buddy but implies that something more is going on and  tells the audience that Adam sees Yang as a rival for Blake’s affections, therefore cementing the nature of their relationships, completing the arc that began all the way back in volume 3.   

"But, he was never meant to be like that, It was BAD WRITING!"

If anyone who isn't Miles or Kerry or a member of CRWBY claims they have personal knowledge of Monty’s wishes or intentions for the RWBY narrative as a whole or individual character arcs, can politely bugger off or provide solid evidence. 

But app Adam isn't abusive, even though there is plenty of onscreen evidence to suggest otherwise?

If you still are not willing to accept it, then I don’t know what to tell you other than we obviously are not watching the same show and a small reminder that

Abusers are never what they seem, the public never see it and the victim finds out far too late. This was alluded to in Blake's trailer when she left him, and Yang points this out in Vol 6. 

Adam: You know, she made a promise to me once. That she'd always be at my side. Heh, and look how well she's kept it.

Yang: Did she make that promise to you? Or to the person you were pretending to be?

"But they are fictional characters!"

Yes, but life imitates art and the medium is the message!

And in this day and age representation in media is a thing, Gerald!

And CRWBY could not have made the abuse narrative any more obvious! 

[overanalyzingelswordiswhatido]

Master Road story was a fuckin trip

I'm on mobile so I cant do a read more but there are spoilers in this so... Read at your own risk I guess???

--

Gaia is pure and such a GOOD DAD. Laby is too pure for this world and always will be. I will personally physically fight anyone who is mean to me daughter. I'm glad that she got to learn that it's better to talk about her feelings than to not do so just to avoid a fight tbh cuz otherwise that would've been really sad. Also, I really do love Ara and Eun's relationship. Just the way Eun calls Ara an "overly righteous child" even while sounding soft and appreciative??? I love it.

Rosso is an angry boy. He has every right to be though after everything he's been through good lord. Also, I really liked Elesis's reasoning for not wanting him to go into the Demon Realm. I also did kind of like the fact that he and Lu didn't get along??? Like, she was really rude to him and he was rude back and then she tried to push all the blame onto him and thats fucked up but I feel like it would've really jarring for them to get along. Idk it just seemed natural for them to "get along" the way that they did. Also Ciel being "lightly" sassy is everything I needed in life.

I'm very curious about the elf Lincy says she saw. My first thought was Lua but I'm not 100% on that. It's quite nice to finally get an explanation for what happened to Rena back in Feita too because that was fuckin weird. If I remember correctly she mentioned someone having beautiful eyes or something..?? Idk but it was weird. Ventus walking back in the front door because he forgot he snuck Rena out was honestly so damn funny. Rose's part was also very nice. It was nice to see her get some spotlight tbh. I have a soft spot for her not gonna lie (it started since shes my younger sibling's main but I did come to really like her). I noticed in the comments of Rose's videos that people were confused as to why she was so calm, but I wasnt really. She did mention to Zero that she's known for a while. And considering how much time she's likely had to think about, she's likely accepted that there's very little she can do about it in her current situation. So she focuses on what's in front of her right now. She's a soldier. She has to focus on the things in front of her before she can worry about the things that aren't and she's trained to do exactly that. So I didn't find it particularly weird for her to be calm in that situation.

CHUNG HURT ME. I was honestly just shot in the heart when Chung said looking for his father was him being greedy. That whole thing sucked. Aisha was super sweet to him though and that was amazing to see. Aisha was so confident too. That was really nice to see. I'm curious about the Landar family secrets now. Also the Denif in the seal didn't have to get that fuckin deep. Like holy shit. Also, Ciel comparing Chung to a sad puppy in the rain was so cute. Ciel wasn't wrong but at least Chung has cheered up some now.

I didn't think I could hate Adrian more than I already do but mY GOD. He makes me want to throw up. I hate him so much. I'm super pissed. The stories he told Add and Eve were WAY too different too. Ngl I apologized to Eve out loud because her "father" is a disappointment. I am honestly worried about what Adrian's going to do with the data he collected on Add... I just. That whole part made my skin crawl. I hated it. It was super nice to see Add drag him through the dust and for Eve to tell him off though. Also, I have never been more proud of either of them in my entire life. They've both grown so much. Hearing Add talk to his mom was so sad and yet so nice at the same time. And when Eve talked about Elsword, Aisha, Rena, and Raven, it was honestly amazing. AND HERBAON IS FRIENDS WITH NONO I'm so glad. Nono isn't alone anymore and Herbaon has A FRIEND. Also, Eve is such a good big sister to Herbaon and you cannot change my mind. Tbh I feel like if Raven hadn't said "see you soon" Add could very well have made a very different choice. Raven is so good.

Speaking of Raven... RAVEN IS DYING???????????????????? I AM NOT OKAY??? I mean I cant say I'm surprised tbh but OUCH. And he knew this whole time too. Like damn. I highly doubt they'll actually kill off a playable character so I'm honestly hoping it'll result in some Raven and Eve bonding since she's realistically the only one that could help him with the situation he's in. I'm really hoping we get updates on Owen too since Elesis mentioned Velder nobles and then Raven started to ask. And typically something like that is used as foreshadowing and I would love some sweet Raven angst. It'll hurt but it'll be great. Also, Elsword not realizing his friends are his power was very fitting and honestly funny to me. I officially have a LOT of questions about Elsword. Though it's nice to know that he is in fact Rubenian. I haven't had enough time to mull everything over so rn I have a lot of questions and no answers. Also AIN HAS ANXIETY MY SON. Honestly, anxiety like that isn't anything I'd wish on most people but it makes a lot of sense for Ain to have it and I'm glad he got to know that nothing was wrong with him and that fearing change was completely normal. Hernia was so sweet and good in Ain's story. I especially liked when she mentioned that she wasn't a picky eater. Like it seems like such a small insignificant thing, but it pulled Ain out of his thoughts and his own head, which really did keep him from spiralling further. And I loved it.

All in all, the amount of character development and new information we got was good. Raven and Gaia both get dad of the year rewards because they're just such good dads (you WILL have to pry Eldad Raven from my cold dead hands). I kinda hope Adrian dies at some point because he's literally so awful but at the same time I don't want my Nasod children to be sad and unfortunately Adrian dying would make them sad. Anyway I'm proud of all of the El Search Party and the growing they've done. Still worried about some of them (*cough* Raven *cough*) but I was glad to see all of their individual stories touched on. I'll go more in depth on my thoughts of certain parts in other posts soon. This was mostly just a collection of my overall thoughts and like... initial impressions.

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of Marvel: Week of February 19th, 2020

Best of this Week: Fantastic Four #19 (Legacy #664) - Dan Slott, Sean Izaakse, Marcio Menyz, Erick Arciniega and Joe Caramagna

It all began with one fateful foray into space.

Reed Richards, a gifted scientist from Empire State University, his brilliant wife, Susan Storm, her hot headed younger brother, Johnny Storm and expert pilot Ben Grimm board the Marvel-1 in an attempt to explore space. Unfortunately for them, their ship is hit with a wave of Cosmic Rays, sending them crashing back to the Earth and giving them all special powers. For decades, we all thought that everything was Reed’s fault for not having strong enough shields, blessing and cursing his family with powers, but we learn here that that is not the case.

Throughout the last five issues, The Fantastic Four have been fighting against the people of Spyre; A planet of normal people, enhanced people and monsters that have feared the prophecy of the “Four-Told,” beings that would destroy Spyre and their way of life. After Reed exposes their leader, The Overseer, for being the one that released the cosmic rays on the Four, Ben climbs his tower, beats the everloving crap out of him and destroys the tower in the process.

Realizing that the Overseer stands defeated and the eye that watched them is no more, every citizen turns on the FF, proclaiming that the prophecy did happen as the Overseer lay in the rubble. This issue picks up in the immediate aftermath (after a preview of the coming story in the first few pages involving Mole Man and Wyatt Wingfoot). Sue places a barrier over the FF as the citizens, heroes and monsters pelt her forcefield with fists and rock. Previously, the citizens were divided by their classes, but now they’ve united against Reed and the Four.

One of the more interesting subplots that Dan Slott had been weaving is the burgeoning relationship between supposed “soulmates” in Johnny Storm and a Spyrian hero named Sky, a darker skinned girl with wings that may actually be in love with another hero by the name of Citadel. This is one of the few times that Johnny shows an actual longstanding interest in a woman, especially since their connection was made shortly after the Fours first failed mission unbeknownst to him.

Slott had been building this up and getting readers invested in their struggle of love and it’s good to see Johnny loving someone like he did with Medusa or Crystal of the Inhumans.This is further tested as Sky is torn between the traditions of her people and her disdain for the FF after their actions. Of course, she’s not the only one who is irate as the Overseer picks himself back up and calls Reed out for a one-on-one brawl.

Reed’s never been the best fighter in the world, but he’s always had ways to use his powers to his advantage and can still hold himself pretty well. Sean Izaakse portrays that pretty well with a few expertly drawn pages of battle as Reed uses his stretchy abilities to dodge energy beams, punch Overseer from afar and uses his arm as a slingshot to fling boulders at the villain. Izaakse and Erick Arciniega work in perfect tandem to make these scenes exciting with bright colors and dynamic angles.

Things get even crazier as Overseer fights back with his own arsenal of suit abilities. Izaakse draws amazing looking rings for sonic blasts that Arciniega colors with a beautiful yellow. Then switches it up for crackling blue lightning and finally ends things with Kirby-esque bubbles of energy that go from a dark orange to a dastardly purple to match Overseer’s beautiful armor. This fight is absolutely gorgeous to look at even as the panels are mostly medium sized, widescreen rectangles.

Throughout their fight, the two have an exchange that boils down to hubris vs. personal responsibility and both make pretty good points. Reed had always blamed himself for what had happened to his friends and family, thinking that his miscalculations are what put them all in anger and that weight is lifted off of his shoulders with rage at finally punching the cause. Overseer, feared for the lives of his people from the potential threat from beyond by a man that never asked what the greater galaxy wanted. Reed always does things like this and Overseer’s only course of action was to curtail it before things got bad.

As always, Reed does what he does best, uses his brain to talk Overseer down, knowing that he too hasn’t fully mastered the use of Cosmic Rays and suggests that they could accomplish more together than against each other (opposite his conversation with Charles Xavier - see X-Men/Fantastic Four). Reed proposes that the two make a trade of sorts and offers the people of Spyre a chance similar to what Ben has in “The Almost Cure,” something we’ve seen used recently when Ben and Alicia Masters went on their honeymoon and would have allowed him to turn human for a day until he fought the Hulk and landed in a coma.

The Monster Men take umbrage with the idea because Ben had preached appreciating who one is on the inside when he rallied them to fight Overseer, but when one of the Heroes of the Spyre asks if it will work on him too, almost everyone seems to want in on the change. Of course there are others who see the FF’s gift as what will truly destroy their people, showing that some people just can’t be pleased. As their time on Spyre draw to a close, Reed and Johnny bond together like they did when this arc started as Johnny muses on what his life would have been without his powers.

It’s a touching scene and Dan Slott has always been great at things like these. From his time on Spider-Man and She Hulk, he’s shown that he has skill in giving readers heartfelt moments, especially given that we almost hardly ever see the pair together. This is accentuated by Izaakse drawing Johnny with a smile on his face as he flies through the skies with an almost old school look colored by Arciniega with lush oranges and intense reds.

Just as the FF are about to depart, Overseer tells them that only ones soulmate can remove the soul bindings on their arms. After a few pages of searching for Sky, she shows up to Johnny. I think the implication is that she went on some soul searching away from Johnny and when he offers to remove her Soul Binding, she refuses and tells Johnny he can keep his too as she’s joining them on the trip to Earth.

Suffice to say, this is as shocking to The FF as one might expect as they add yet another hero to the ranks, but she likely won’t be on the main team, but more as a supporting role until Marvel decides to give her a miniseries and then sends her back to the Spyre. She’s certainly a welcome addition and it’ll be fun to see what kind of shenanigans she and Johnny will get into as he’s naturally flirtatious and she wants to keep to the traditions of her people. It’s difficult to say that she’s fully in love with Johnny still as she flirts with Citadel before they disembark.

Overall, this was a really fun issue and concludes a story that had a surprising amount of heart and depth. Generally, I like the idea of Cosmic Happenstance and did love the mysterious nature of how the FF got their powers. I might have preferred that things be kept random chance, but honestly, I wasn’t put off by this equally ridiculous explanation either. At the same time, Dan Slott also alleviates some of the guilt from Reed’s shoulders which could be a double edged sword for him in the future if his ego grows too large.

Sean Izaakse and Erick Arciniega also do an amazing job on the art (I can’t leave out Marcio Menyz, but I didn’t really care for the Wingfoot stuff). The pair smash it with the visual storytelling through fantastic facial expressions, body language and utopian setting. One thing that took me time to notice was that all of the people of Spyre were black. It’s a small, but nice touch that makes them stand out amongst the other races that we see throughout the galaxy.

Depending on how the next issue goes, I may stick with the series, but I’ve never been a big fan of Mole Man stories, so I may drop off until the next arc, but this one was absolutely worth the time, a high recommend!

Also, support me on Patreon:

patreon.com/TyTalksComics

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.28 (Lizzie and Kate’s Excellent Adventure)

I wish we got to see more of this unexpected friendship

- We find out that Lizzie has the flu and had to miss a day of school. Gordo and Miranda greets Lizzie in her room with a stack full of books for her homework. It’s middle school, not college; That’s too many books.

I feel like I’ve seen this pic everywhere

- Lizzie asks her friends about what she’d miss in Mrs. Stebel’s Social Studies class and they give each other a strange look. Their teacher instructed the class to work in pairs to do a book report on a country and its native dish. Since Lizzie was absent, Gordo and Miranda naturally paired up, leaving Lizzie out of the picture.

- Well, it turns out that Lizzie is paired with her frenemy Kate Sanders, who was also absent from school. And as you can guess, Lizzie did not take to this news too well:

Let it all out girl...just let it all out

We get it; Lizzie and Kate don’t like each other. What’s new?

- The next morning, Lizzie is dreading going back to school since she’s forced to work with Kate and even considers calling in sick for an extra day. Her mom, Jo already knows about the whole Kate Sanders situation because Kate’s mom called in last night. Did Kate’s mom ever appeared on the show? I can’t recall. 

- Anyways, Jo insists that Lizzie should suck it up and deal with Kate being her project partner. On top of that, Matt’s adding fuel to the already raging fire by throwing his two-cents into the discussion. I’m now back to being annoyed with him after somewhat liking him last episode. 

- In school, Lizzie is complaining about the country that was assigned to her, Latvia and how the signature over there is jellied meat, which is called Aspic (after doing a quick Google search). 

- Kate and her crew walk up to Lizzie and Kate establishes some ground rules with Lizzie i.e. spending as little time together as possible, not being seen in public and not making jellied meat. Lizzie accepts her conditions and they also agree to meet at Lizzie’s house after school. 

It all seems like it’s going to work out but Lizzie still needs to let some steam out

Kate and Lizzie Working Together

- That evening after school, Lizzie is on the phone with Miranda, who’s with Gordo to work on their project on Mexico. 

Well, it’s mostly Gordo doing the ground work. Miranda’s more focused on jumping...

- The doorbell of Lizzie’s house rings and it’s probably Kate outside. Lizzie is still mad at Miranda for not covering for her. What does she want for Miranda to do exactly? If Kate’s the only other person absent in class, it makes sense for the two absent students to get paired. And if Lizzie and Miranda pair up, Gordo wouldn’t have anyone but Kate to partner with. 

- Kate’s in the kitchen talking to Jo and they’re awkwardly trying to make small talk. As soon as Lizzie steps into the kitchen, Jo quickly scurries on out of there because it seems like she doesn’t like Kate either lol. 

This stare-down between the two of them is even more awkward

- But things take a turn when they both agree that their friends are lousy for not picking them as their partner for the project. And it’s so cute how they laughed at the same time. As time went on, they seem to be getting along well due to being on the same page when it comes to Latvian food. 

Do y’all see this interaction? It’s so rare; It’s like watching a dog walk on its hind legs (I had to include a Mean Girls reference)

- Even Jo notices them getting along like old times. But as soon as Kate realises this, she quickly excuses herself and they say bye to each other awkwardly. I wish they could go back to being good friends because I don’t like the idea that popular kids can’t be friends with the non-popular kids. I mean, I don’t think they even got to that place after the Lizzie Mcguire Movie. 

A Broken Friendship

- The next morning, Miranda and Gordo ask Lizzie how things went with Kate to which she tells them it was alright. Not only that, she tells them that she and Kate are going to work together after school at the Digital Bean even though one of Kate’s earlier demands is that they are not to be seen in public together.

- At the Digital Bean, Lizzie and Kate are researching on what their dish should be and they decide to make Alexandertorte, which is a pastry dessert that has raspberry jam inside. 

Nice contrast

- Gordo and Miranda followed by Claire and her other crew members then stop by to throw shade at Kate and Lizzie respectively. But Claire was way worse than Lizzie’s friends; She even bragged about being able to work with Ethan over Kate. 

- They then start prepping in Lizzie’s kitchen to make their torte dish. Things start a little rocky at first but when they start talking about old memories from the time they were best friends, they begin to open up to each other again. Basically, they were talking about Kate’s 9th Birthday party and how Kate really loved a Baby Spice shirt that was given to her by Lizzie and she couldn’t wait to try it on. It’s kinda sad that they used to be that close. 

- All of a sudden, Matt runs into the kitchen with his blindfolds on and bumps into Kate who was carrying an egg carton; This, of course causes the eggs to drop to the ground. But it’s all okay because luckily, it was only a few eggs. 

The Queens of Falling

- This is when it gets kind of juicy; They finally talk about the reason why they’re suddenly not friends anymore. Before this, we were told that it’s because Kate developed really quickly and got a bra, which made her popular. I guess that’s still true but it’s also because she went away to camp and there, she had made new friends, whom might or might not have influenced her to treat her old friends badly. 

I got so many feels from this moment. Like I’ve said before, I just love the way they smile at each other; It’s so endearing. 

Possibilities

Look at them, working together as one and everything

- Next, we see them giving their report on Latvia in front of the class and they did a great job. After completing their presentation, their friends come over to throw unnecessary shade again and basically act as if Lizzie and Kate did not get along fine when they clearly did. 

- I think this is the moment where I really questioned ‘What Would Happen’ if the writers had decided to change the outcome of this episode since Lizzie and Kate went back to hating on each other just to please their friends. I actually envisioned the other alternative to be Lizzie and Kate standing up to their friends and basically letting them know the truth, which is they are actually back to being friends. But that’s not the case with what happened in this episode but still, I think the other possibility I mentioned could be a really powerful moment for this show. 

BUT we did get this moment, which tells the audience that Kate and Lizzie actually like each other deep down inside. It’s just that with the way middle school and its social groups are set up, it doesn’t allow them to publicly be friends. Well, who cares? But unfortunately, that’s just how school is; It’s full of petty drama.

B-Plot: Matt’s Psychic Y’all *Rolls Eyes

- In Matt’s school (we finally see him in school after spending so many episodes away from the place), he and his friend, Oscar are having lunch together and Matt is able to predict that their substitute Math teacher has on big red clown shoes before they even saw her. Matt concludes that he is psychic. And here I go, going back to not caring about Matt’s storyline again lol. 

- They set up a ‘Psychic Readings’ booth in the backyard and Matt gives predictions to three different kids, which seem vague and ludicrous at first but it turns out that all his predictions came true:

The predictions are as follows: Buying an expensive gift, getting a haircut and going on a long trip

- Similar to majority of Matt’s storylines, his one-off interests, which in this case is his psychic ability starts getting out of hand as he now thinks he is able to predict every single event, regardless of how insignificant it may be. Jo doesn’t buy it for one second but his dad sure does as he asks him to predict the next day’s lottery numbers. 

- Matt even predicted that Jo was going to send him to his room and later on, she would try to convince Sam that he’s not psychic. That was actually kind of cool but I guess it’s because he knows his parents very well. 

- Jo is very adamant on proving to both Matt and Sam that Matt isn’t really psychic and administers a test to help with that. And look, Matt answers the question correctly! If Jo is going out of her way to do all of that, I have to think that she low-key thinks that Matt is psychic, no? 

- Anyways, his antics finally end once he randomly realises he cannot read other people’s minds anymore. Oh well, too bad...goodbye.

Overall Thoughts

- This is easily one of my favourite episodes of the entire series. We finally get to see something fresh and new that we’ve never seen before on this show and that is Lizzie and Kate getting along as friends. 

- In Kate’s earliest appearance on this show, she was introduced as the mean, popular girl who was actually Lizzie’s best friend in elementary school up until she became popular. Since then, their old friendship wasn’t really touched upon at all till now. I love how they gave us a deep insight into their past memories as childhood friends and how she, Lizzie and Miranda were really close with one another back then. 

- This episode alone really makes me hope that Ashlie Brillault (the actress who plays Kate) will consider coming back to guest star in the Lizzie Mcguire revival series next year but I highly doubt it since she’s now an attorney. But honestly, I’d be okay if they mention to us that Lizzie and Kate are still friends in adulthood; That would make me pretty satisfied with Kate’s overall story arc. 

[grimelords]

The hits just don’t stop coming!

My May playlist is finished and it’s only almost one month late! Everything you want and nothing you don’t from Nicki Minaj, the band that did the OC theme song and Italian Adele. What more could you ask for! 

Listen here!

Curious - Amerie: Amerie, who sang the world's greatest song 1 Thing and unfortunately never had any other good songs, surprise released a 22 minute album called 4AM Mulholland and a companion EP that was 20 minutes long called After 4AM last year. I don't know why she didn't just release one normal length album but anyway, because she's Amerie people weren't exactly eagerly awaiting a surprise release album from her so it came and went pretty quickly. This song though is really very good and sets a really nice midnight smoky tone that the whole rest of the album/EP unfortunately fails to really live up to. I also found out in my research that Amerie is also apparently a semi-influential book vlogger 'BookTuber' and last year edited a book of YA short stories where other BookTubers 'reimagined fairy tales from the oft-misunderstood villains' points of view. She's got heaps going on.

Vipers Follow You - Amon Tobin: Amon Tobin has lost his damn mind yet again. His last album was 8 years ago and it sounded like a hardware test for a new kind of million dollar sound system. Every single type of sound and frequency was crammed into it and it felt like a sound sculture that could physically attack you rather than an album that you listened to for fun. Now his new album sounds like the direct opposite. There's no drums on it at all and it's all stripped back thick and smooth acoustic-modelled textures and it's very nice. This song is a good example of the album feel overall: not exactly ambient or laid-back, but definite night music from a guy who has gone all the way from chillout trip-hop to walls of hydraulic noise over his career and it's always such a thrill to hear people pushing forward in their sound 9 albums in.

Do The Panic - Phantom Planet: Phantom Planet who famously did the theme song for The OC have reformed and released their first new song in ten years. This isn't that song but there was a bunch of people in the comments on the Stereogum article about it saying they were and underrated band and their 2008 album Raise The Dead has bangers and guess what: they were right!

Roman Holiday - Nicki Minaj: Roman Holiday reentered the billboard charts last month because it became relevant again via people putting it in memes where they would play a sped up version of the song over sped up videos of.. anything really. It's not a very good meme but I thank god for it because otherwise I would never have learned that it's a very good song. I also think there's a very interesting lesson to be learned here about Nicki Minaj because she premiered this song at the 2012 Grammys before Roman Reloaded came out with an elaborate Exorcist routine and everyone hated this extremely weird song and extremely weird performance so it was scrapped as the first single and they put out Starships instead. Nicki Minaj seem to me like an artist that has always struggled to ride the line between pop marketability and doing their own unique thing in much the same way as Eminem, and just like Eminem she's eventually settled in to a very safe and marketable version of herself. Roman Holiday is a glimpse of the Nicki That Could Have been that just starts singing Come All Ye Faithful in the middle of a song and does the chorus in an extremely dodgy British accent. There's a good bit on the wiki for this song that quotes Jessica Hooper's Spin review that says "the pop tracks are a paying of the piper and the too-perfect, Dr. Luke-produced songs are her penance for sneaking deranged yodeling ode 'Roman Holiday' in there." More deranged yodelling odes please Nicki!

Cousins - Vampire Weekend: I've never gotten into Vampire Weekend for an unknown reason. I like every song I've heard of theirs I've just never properly sat down and listened to an album and appreciated it until Father Of The Bride this year. I have however always loved Cousins. It’s got a completely deranged riff, the drums sound like their going to catch fire and it ends with chiming bells. It’s completely off the rails and I think the video is one of my favourites ever for just simply matching the tone of the song and the performance.

Lost Your Number - Nu Shooz: On the episode of R U Talkin' R.E.M Re: Me? with Ezra Koenig they were talking about grunge and the early 90s and how music that had 'authenticity' suddently became so popular. Scott's reasoning was that by the late 80s pop music had become so incredibly vaccuous and bad that people were yearning for anything with meaning. He said 'pop was so bad, stuff like Nu Shooz' and I immediately remembered how fucking good Nu Shooz are and paused the podcast to listen to them instead. This is an absolutely great song because the lyrics never rise above linear storytelling. 'I lost your number' is not a metaphor for lost contact or leaving someone or anything like that. This whole song is about trying to call someone but you've lost the piece of paper that you wrote their phone number on. She even describes the paper like maybe you the listener have seen it around somewhere, I absolutey love it.

Paper Trail$ - Joey Bada$$: Joey Bada$$ is a goon but he has good songs sometimes. If he wasn't a famous rapper he would be working full time in reddit arguments where people rank members of the Wu-Tang Clan. He's one of these 'real hip hop' 'lyrical miracle' guys and he even goes so far as to rework C.R.E.A.M in this song to say cash RUINS everything around me :O but this beat is nice as hell and I woke up with the bit where says 'shit is really real out here' repeating in my head.

Julien - Carly Rae Jepsen: I'm really loving this new Carly Rae album. It's not as heavy on hits as Emotion obviously but it's more even overall and has a lot more to dig into I think. I just keep listening to it. This song especially is so nice because it's a great example of how you only need two chords to get something extremely funky going.

Rock Non Stop - Cassius: Cassius finally have another great song! The nearly two minute choral intro is such genius because of how suddenly and forcefully it drops you into the middle of the most boneheaded dance song I've heard in a long time. Two different silly voices going back and forth with each other saying 'rock non stop' and 'gimme the good time', who could ask for anything more?

Just as I was about to publish this I saw the news that Phillipe Zdar died which is so sad! Just as they started releasing fantastic new music! So now this song is tinged with that sort of sadness which is unfair because it’s such a fun and silly piece of music, it doesn’t deserve to hold that kind of weight.

DOLO 5 - Dolo Percussion: This Dolo Percussion album absolutely astounded me. No melody! Just drums! For an hour and a half! It's a complete world of its own and you can get totally lost in the depths of it. Every song has a completely unique palette and it never ever feels boring like percussion focused music sometimes can, it's constantly evolving in every track and never settles into anything for too long. Things just come and go so naturally it feels like actually trying to figure out the structure of these songs would be impossible. There's a few moments where there's a hint of a bassline or melody in a some of the later songs and it completely shakes you up, like seeing sunlight again after years of absolutely thriving in the dark.

Song About An Angel - Sunny Day Real Estate: The way he sings 'running behind' in this is maybe one of my favourite pieces of vocal performance ever. He just shouted himself apart. Also the Genius description of this song is one of the best emo sentences I’ve ever seen: "The song is believed to be a conversation between a guy and an angel (possibly a girl)."

This Life - Vampire Weekend: The R U Talkin' R.E.M. Re: Me? episode with Ezra really put this album into a lot more context for me, because he's talking about being influenced by The Grateful Dead - not musically exactly but in the mindset and the idea of being in a guitar band and making guitar music in 2019 which is an interesting thing to think about. Anyway this has such a Dead feel to it and I'm really interested to see what they do live because as I've heard they're really mixing up their reputation of being a band that sounds exactly like the album and really going for it instead and doing absolutely anything which is a lot more fun.

The Past Is A Grotesque Animal - of Montreal: I've been getting heavily into Hissing Fauna Are You The Destroyer? this month and it's just so incredible. This song especially as the centrepiece of this whole album is amazing. The mindset is so intriguing to me: absolutely going though it in the worst way possible, getting divorced and everything like that but also somehow managing to keep it twee. The sorts of things that influenced this album would turn any normal person to heavier or stranger music but somehow he manages to believe so hard in the power of twee indie pop that he pushed it to the limit and create a masterpiece.

The Cascades - Janice Scroggins: You know that tweet about riding the bus and looking out the window and pretending the music you're listening to is the soundtrack to the movie about you riding the bus? That's me except with Scott Joplin rags and pretending i'm in a silent film where I embarrass myself in front of a society lady.

The Governor - Nicolas Jaar: I think i’ve probably already had this song on a playlist like three times so I’m going to stop talking about it but here’s my favourite thing this time: It could have just ended and been fine but instead it goes to saxophone hell and that’s what makes this a 10/10 song.

The Less I Know The Better - Tame Impala: My peabrain moment this month was suddenly developing a huge obsession with this song for some reason. Have you guys heard of this band ‘Tame Impala’? I really feel like they might blow up! One of my favourite things about this song is that the top youtube comment for a long time was ‘this is like the cuck anthem’. They’re right!

New Town - Life Without Buildings: Life Without Buildings feels like indie rock from another dimension. This came out in 2000 and for some reason I can't reconcile that fact with how it sounds. It sounds like it should have come out at least 5 years later. I cannot imagine this style of vocal ever working so effectively but somehow it just does. I'm hanging on absolutely every word and feeling it so intensely when in reality she sounds like something went wrong with the recording. I just love it.

Bang Bang Bang - Mark Ronson And The Business Intl: This is a hugely underrated song and this era of Mark Ronson seems to have been totally forgotten which is unfortunate. This song, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga and OMG by Usher all came out around the same time in my memory and I remember feeling very optimistic for the direction pop seemed to be heading in. Bombastic and unique and unafraid to be structurally different but then it turned out it wasn’t really a trend at all, it was just three great songs. So who knows.

Back To The Trees - Adele H: I suddenly remembered this song I completely fell in love with last year and remembered as a moderate hit only to find that it has <1000 listens on spotify and 300 on youtube. Simply not good enough, please listen to this song! Support my friend and yours Adele H: ‘The Italian Adelian’

Out There - Studio: What’s so good about Studio is it’s technically an electronic duo but it has the feeling of a jam jam band. Their wiki article is obviously written by their management but it also describes them as an ‘afrobeat-dub-disco-indie-pop adventure’ which is very true. It’s an adventure! It just keeps moving on and on through fifty flavours of groove!

Shut Up Kiss Me - Angel Olsen: This really is maybe the best love song ever written! Because it's about standing firm and not giving up on love! Stop pretending I'm not there when it's clear I'm not going anywhere / If I'm out of sight then take another look around!

Through This Town - Mia Dyson: If you ever need an optimistic song to lay down on the floor to then here's one.

Cry Flames - Rustie: I'm on my usual shit about how good Glass Swords was and how that it's a tragedy that this never coalesced into a major movement like it should have. This is such a good sound that just kind of disappeared because vaporwave and everything overlapped with the boring parts of it and the anime chillout version became popular instead. Sad!

Real Truth (feat. Tkay Maidza) - J-E-T-S, Machinedrum and Jimmy Edgar: I love this beat so much. The sort of beat that sounds like it's playing out of a droid that got shot with a lazer and is malfunctioning.

Aute Cuture - Rosalia: me putting these lyrics through google translate: oh my god she’s right this IS on fire

Self-Immolate - King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard: King Gizz are a metal band now and they're writing the very best kind of metal songs - sci-fi about burning to death in the skies of Venus that's also a climate change parable.

Magic Arrow - Timber Timbre: Timber Timbre feel underrated to me. I never see anyone talking about them but they're one of the most consistently great bands around, I absolutely love them. There's so much space in this song, this whole style of minimal production is underutilised. It feels like if Wicked Game by Chris Isaak was about an 18th century cult leader instead which I think we can all agree is a much improved song.

Kim's Caravan - Courtney Barnett: I love this style of songwriting where you just sit on an extremely heavy bassline the whole time and have no chorus, which affords you the freedom to just get bigger and bigger and smaller as you wish. The Drones cover of River Of Tears works like this too and I think it's just masterful.

When The Movie's Over - Twin Shadow: My belief is Confess is front to back one of the greatest pop albums ever written. Please, please listen to it and be moved.

listen here

[tigerkirby215]

Battle Master Sett and others (League of Legends build errata)

(Artwork still by @victorli_ran on Twitter.)

I’m going to be honest: like 80% of the reason I made the Sett build was an excuse for me to make JoJokes. The other 20% of the reason is because I constantly see this motherfucker on the Rift. Whenever I don’t ban him he gets instapicked because Rito can’t balance for shit and made such a brain-dead champ OP as hell. But my complaints about Sett aside the few people I’ve met who played Sett because they genuinely enjoyed him (and weren’t spamming him because he’s Rito’s latest opee opee champ) were super nice and friendly, and Sett as a whole is a cool character who seems fun to play. I’d buy him myself but I’m waiting for the balance team to stop reading Jojolion and do their goddamn job.

With that out of the way Sett is one of the few times I honestly feel like 2 levels is more than enough to capture a character. With 1 level in Fighter for Unarmed Fighting (because Barbarians don’t get a Fighting Style lol) and 1 level in Barbarian (for Unarmored Defense) you have pretty much everything I’d want to play Sett except for False Life from the Aberrant Dragonmark Feat. (Which is nice but more of an afterthought for more Temp HP.) The 18 levels in Fighter were done entirely for the Survivor trait from Champion, which is strong yes but it involves you getting to level 18 first. What’s more is that 2 levels in Barbarian means that you’re missing out on the 4th attack from Fighter, and if you’re going to go to level 18 in a class you may as well get the level 20 capstone feature as well. I make these builds for roleplay first and practicality better since I doubt anyone is coming to this Tumblr for OP builds.

With that being said I did promise to provide a build for Battle Master, and I’d like to offer some other potential multiclass dips and the strengths and weaknesses of each. I’m not going to go too deep into the levels of each class myself (to be honest just read them yourself) but I will give the reason why you’d want each class and subclass in the notes.

BATTLE MASTER MANEUVERS

Full disclosure I know very little about Battle Master so most of my advice is going off a guide as well as my roleplaying recommendations.

OFFICIAL

Commander’s Strike - The boss bossing around his teammates is highly in flavor, but unless you have a Rogue (who can sneak attack) or someone with a similar damage boosting ability this ability is fairly redundant. 3/5 ROLEPLAY - 3/5 PRACTICALITY

Disarming Attack - Very in-flavor for Sett to try to get the upper hand by punching a weapon out of his opponent’s hand. Also very useful in combat, especially if you either take their weapon or kick it away. 4/5 ROLEPLAY - 3/5 PRACTICALITY

Distracting Strike - You can give yourself Advantage with Reckless Attack, and can afford to do so since you have so much health. That being said helping your allies get hits is very useful, especially if you have a Rogue or something similar. You can also argue that this would be Sett getting a good Facebreaker in to set up for his allies. 5/5 ROLEPLAY - 4/5 PRACTICALITY

Evasive Footwork - Knuckle Down lets Sett zoom at his enemies but not away from them. More importantly you have more than enough health and AC to take some opportunity attacks. This can make you a little sturdier but it’ll eat up your maneuver dice; it’s just not worth it. 2/5 ROLEPLAY - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Feinting Attack - Very in flavor, but you already have a way to generate Advantage. Good if you don’t take a second level in Barbarian. 4/5 ROLEPLAY - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Goading Attack - INSANELY useful as you’re the tank, so this will stop the enemies from targeting your allies. Also definetly in-flavor for Sett to taunt his enemies into going for him instead of his fight partners. 5/5 ROLEPLAY - 5/5 PRACTICALITY

Lunging Attack - Literally Haymaker, but in the wise words of rpgbot.net: “Just move closer to your target.” You can afford to take an Attack of Opportunity by moving away after attacking. 5/5 ROLEPLAY - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Maneuvering Attack - See my points on Commander’s Strike. Only difference is that this ability is even less useful since movement isn’t that special in 5e. 3/5 ROLEPLAY - 2/5 PRACTICALITY

Menacing Attack - In flavor for Sett to growl and snarl, but you don’t care about taking hits and if there’s one thing you don’t want its for enemies to stay back. 3/5 ROLEPLAY - 2/5 PRACTICALITY

Parry - Very in flavor but sadly your DEX mod isn’t that high. 5/5 FLAVOR - 4/5 PRACTICALITY

Precision Attack - Since you already have Advantage this can be great to break through some tough ACs. It’s not as impressive but it gets the job done, and considering that your fists are your only option hitting hard enough to get through Braum’s shield would be very useful. 4/5 FLAVOR - 5/5 PRACTICALITY

Pushing Attack - Could be ruled that this is you using your ultimate but it’s very impractical. 3/5 FLAVOR - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Rally - Much like the other “commander” maneuvers it’s decently in-flavor for Sett, but you don’t have the biggest investment in Charisma. You’re no support and you’re far better off leaving the healing to the Cleric. 3/5 FLAVOR - 2/5 PRACTICALITY

Riposte - The more in-flavor and more useful version of Parry for a tank build. Screw defense; more damage! 5/5 FLAVOR - 5/5 PRACTICALITY

Sweeping Attack - Titanic Hydra? But while this is rather in-flavor the damage is just extraordinarily low. 3/5 FLAVOR - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Trip Attack - In-flavor for Sett to fight dirty, and rather useful, but not the most useful overall. 3/5 FLAVOR - 4/5 PRACTICALITY

CLASS FEATURES UA

Ambush - What are you? A Rogue? 1/5 FLAVOR - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Bait and Switch - Very cute if you’re playing bodyguard, but you probably won’t be. It’s just far too conditional to be used. 2/5 FLAVOR - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Brace - This is essentially Riposte but slightly different. Much like Riposte it’s very in-flavor, but I’d probably stick to Riposte. 5/5 FLAVOR - 4/5 PRACTICALITY

Restraining Strike - Was used in the Champion build but Grapples are garbage. 5/5 FLAVOR - 2/5 PRACTICALITY

Silver Tongue - Lets you keep some of Sett’s charm but you’re hardly the face of the party, unfortunately. 3/5 FLAVOR - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Snipe - These fists ain’t thrown love, though I guess you could pull out a knife and scream MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA before throwing it. 1/5 FLAVOR - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Studious Eye - What are you? An Inquisitive Rogue? 1/5 FLAVOR - 1/5 PRACTICALITY

Here’s a theoretical list of maneuvers I’d take:

LEVEL 3

Distracting Strike

Goading Attack

Riposte

LEVEL 7

Disarming Attack

Precision Attack

LEVEL 10

Lunging Attack

Trip Attack

LEVEL 15

Pushing Attack

(Choice)

P.S. Leatherworker’s Tools are probably the most in-character tool for you to have proficiency with as Sett.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

OTHER CLASSES TO TRY

BARBARIAN 20

The only reason we went full Fighter in the original build was for Survivor, but the only reason we even took a level in Fighter was for the Unarmed Fighting fighting style. (Because Barbarians don’t get a Fighting Style lol.) If you have a cool DM who’ll let you either reflavor your weapon as unarmed strikes or flat out let you attack with hands as strong as weapons (or if you have an Artificer who can make you an Arcane Propulsion Arm [removal of a hand required], or can find a similar magic item that gives you an Unarmed Strike) then Barbarian 20 is more than viable.

The main strength of going full 20 in Barb (other than the vast majority of your hit die being larger, meaning that on average you’ll roll a lot higher) is their level 20 ability Primal Champion, giving you 24 in both Constitution and Strength for the hardest punches and the toughest grit. Most of the other general Barbarian abilities are admittedly somewhat subpar however. Fast Movement and Feral Instinct are nice and all but other than that you only get Rage features and more damage on your crits. The Rage improvements are nice (as are more rages and more damage on those rages) but at best you’re probably going to get a d8 out of your fists, meaning the brutal crits won’t do that much more. Also without value levels in Champion you only have a 5% chance to crit baseline, or a 10% chance with Advantage.

PROS: Much tankier, even stronger.

CONS: Weak features on the way, only worth it for level 20.

With that being said: subclasses. Ironically Path of the Battlerager (IE “the worst one”) probably fits Sett the best, with Reckless Abandon recreating Pit Grit and Battlerager Charge recreating Knuckle Down. With that being said Battlerager is absolute garbage, primarily because the Spiked Armor and the class features based on it suck. You certainly won’t be wearing Spiked Armor as Sett (what are you? Mordekaiser?) which means that the features are completely wasted on you. If you can find a good Homebrew variant for Battlerager or can make one on your own it can be a good pick but while it is in-flavor it’s far too weak to be reasonably played.

PROS: Highly in flavor, more mobile and sustainable.

CONS: Weaksauce, useless armor.

Path of the Totem Warrior is the obvious one to mention as its the typical opee opee Barb. The Bear Totem Spirit is forever a powerful choice but truthfully the Tiger Totem Spirit is far more in-character. The thing is that Tiger is probably the most impractical, so Elk or Eagle are also good picks.

Much like with my Frank West build the Bear Aspect of the Beast would be extremely in-character for Sett (and would be the only way I could justify Sett grabbing a dragon and slamming that shit down on Teemo’s fucking face.) Elk, Tiger, and Wolf would also be in flavor.

For your Totemic Attunement the spirit of the Elk, Tiger, or Wolf would all be in-flavor. Bear could make sense but you don’t need that level of tankiness this late into a build.

PROS: Opee opee, tons of options, tons of utility.

CONS: Going to be accused of powergaming, going to get yelled at for not picking Bearbarian.

Other interesting subclasses to mention:

Path of the Beast (UA) gives you punching claws but almost all the other features play on the werewolf motif. More of Warwick’s thing... or maybe Rengar’s.

Path of the Beserker is extremely powerful but is a little too wild for Sett.

Path of the Zealot is great if you want to infuses your punches with the wrath of the gods - perfect if they ever make a God Fist Sett skin, or if you find a stone mask lying around.

MONK

Monk gives you an unarmed strike, and while mixing Barbarian and Monk is weird it is quite doable if you want to play a STRonk. (Strength Monk) For subclasses Way of the Open Hand recreates some of your movement effects with Open Hand Technique and Pit Grit with Wholeness of Body. Your level 11 and 17 abilities aren’t as impressive so I’d probably invest between 7 to 8 levels in Open Hand Monk for Evasion.

PROS: Movement imparing effects, more pit grit, Evasion, movement speed.

CONS: d6 attack dice, not a lot of Ki, stacking Unarmored Defense, Wisdom requirement

Way of the Drunken Master could also work but that’s much more Jackie Chan than pit fighter.

PROS: Mobility, great in crowds.

CONS: Out-of-character, somewhat weak.

PALADIN

Okay hear me out here: Conquest Paladin 20.

PROS: Hit very hard, counter attacks, innate Pit Grit that can be shared with allies, anime transformation.

CONS: Fear based, need armor, spellcasting isn’t in flavor, Charisma requirement

ARMORER ARTIFICER (UA)

Like I said when Armorer Artificer came out the class would be very good for Mecha Kingdom Sett. The thing is I think the build would be so different from default Sett (with an Intelligence focus among many other things) I’m not going to talk about it.

[write-mywayout]

You asked for fic prompts and if you would, the Umbrella Academy kids picking names and Klaus getting his from the "A Series of Unfortunate Events" novels would be great. Or anything fluffy and Klaus related, honestly. (Have a nice trip)

here you go!! hope you enjoy it, please send me more prompts!!

~

The lives of the Hargreeves children were less than normal. Everyone circumstance beginning from their birth had left the seven siblings vulnerable to imaginable amounts of grief, pain, and danger. Each one of them had their way of escaping, if only for a time, from the grim reality that was their lives. Number One found that running drills and sprinting miles helped to clear his head, channeling the emotional exhaustion into a physical one. Number Two liked to sit and watch Grace cross-stitch, the threading of the needle in constant and precise movements serving almost as a type of hypnosis. Number Three enjoyed painting, everything from a canvas to her fingernails to the makeup on her face; she liked the feeling that she could create something out of nothing and had the power to change it whenever she pleased. Number Four loved to design clothes. He would never be able to make or wear any of them considering his forced profession and uniform (not to mention the fact that sewing was not an activity approved for boys), but that didn’t stop him from filling sketchpad after sketch pad with drawings that would rival the runways in Milan. Number Five found solace in cooking, whether this was convincing Grace to let him help with her preparation of meals when he wasn’t training, or simply standing beside her and watching (this happened more often than not since trainings left him generally fatigued). Number Six was an avid reader, he found a kinship in tales of sorrow and monsters, allowing himself to momentarily project into a world where these horrors were not his own but someone else’s. Number Seven drowned herself in music. Once she picked up her father’s old violin, her fingertips itched for new pieces to learn and songs to play.

It is no surprise that these great escape artists would cross paths in their endeavors. Number Seven would bake cookies with Grace while the others were on missions, getting tips from Number Five on how to make the edges crispy while keeping the inside gooey. On their rare days off, Number Four would dress up Number Three in daring outfits, playing music on Number One’s record player and having her strut down the hall to show the others the costumes he had put together for their little fashion show—at the end of which Number Four would come out and bow, giving a small wave with fingernails freshly painted by his runway model. Number Two liked the quiet serenity that followed Number Six when he was tucked away in the corner of the library, enthralled in his latest novel, and would often come and just sit and share the silent peace.

Most of the children eventually followed suit in regards to this specific activity. While Number Two and Number Six still shared their private, hushed reading time, the others gradually began to gravitate toward the calm presence that surrounded Number Six when he was reading. This led to a Sunday night tradition amongst the kids, in which they would all drag pillows from their rooms and curl up next to the fire place in the library after dinner to listen to Number Six read books aloud. It was unspoken that no one talked during this time, unless to ask for clarification or for a part to be repeated. It was a sanctuary away from competition and petty disputes, granting each child the escape that it was.

They tore through every genre. Number Three and Number Four thought Crime and Punishment was a little dense, Number One loved Catch 22 in all it’s confusing wartime glory, Number Five enjoyed the wit and sarcasm of Hamlet, and Number Seven reveled in anything written by Vonnegut (she used to say that “he writes the way music would sound if it were made of words”). The fan favorites, however, were the Series of Unfortunate Events books. To no one’s surprise, all the children felt a connection to the trials and tribulations faced by the Baudelaire orphans. They commiserated the loss of parents and a normal home life, the presence of overbearing and wicked adults who refused to listen, and the overall feeling that their life was indeed the result of a series of terribly lamentable factors.

They were gearing up to finish the third book in the series the night their father announced at dinner that they would be allowed to choose their own names, per approval from Grace. They were allotted twenty four hours to decide. While they all habitually gathered around Number Six near the fire that Sunday night, story time was recklessly abandoned with the excitement and approaching deadline regarding the choosing of their names.

“Should we try to do some sort of theme?” suggested Number Seven.

“Are you kidding? I have waited way too long for this to not make my own, very individual decision,” Number Three said, twisting her curls into a large bun that sat on top of her head.

“I don’t get why we have to be the ones to choose,” grumbled Number One. “I’m just gonna let Grace pick mine, she’ll know what Dad prefers anyway.”

“Sounds about right. Why think for yourself when you could have someone else do it for you?” Number Two mocked.

“Hey! No arguing during story time! You guys know the rules,” Number Four interjected with a disapproving wave of his hands in their direction, subtly scooting himself between the two to act as a physical barrier.

“Six isn’t even reading anything,” Number Five pointed out.

“Well it’s the principle.”

“Ben,” Number Six said softly.

“What?” Number Two asked.

“I think I like the name Ben.”

“That’s so boring,” Number Three laughed. Ben just shrugged.

“I think it suits you,” Number Seven offered with a small smile. Ben returned it with a shy grin of his own.

“Thanks.”

“Anyway, if we’re getting to choose our own names I’m gonna do something cool. Like Storm or Panther or Rocket,” Number Two said excitedly.

“You do realize that all those names just sound like the ones the magazines already give us?” Ben pointed out.

“So what? They give them to us because they think we’re cool.”

“They think I’m cool, but definitely not you,” Number Three teased. Number Two stuck his tongue out in her direction.

“Alright your majesty, so what’s your name gonna be?”

“Hmm, I was thinking something stylish but not too outlandish. Like classy, in an elegant kind of way.”

“Maybe Charlotte?” Number Seven suggested.

“Nah, I don’t want people calling me Charlie. I am so not a Charlie.”

“While you workshop that, I will be naming myself Klaus,” announced Number Four.

“Klaus?” Number One questioned with a subtle look of condemnation.

“Yeah! It’s different, it’s memorable, and it’s…” Number Four mumbled the last part.

“It’s what?” asked Number Five.

“It’s the name of my favorite book character ok?” Number Four said, eyes fixated on the fireplace as his cheeks burned red. Ben smiled next to him.

“Really? Klaus is your favorite character? I would’ve thought you resonated more with Count Olaf. I mean, you do have a similar taste in fashion and flare for the dramatic,” Number Three jabbed.

“Hey! I am not Count Olaf! And his outfits are way tacky, I am honestly offended that you would compare the two of us,” Number Four feigned hurt. “And I like Klaus he’s… smart. He uses knowledge to figure things out and create stuff. And he doesn’t get scared, because he knows he can always find a way to escape, and that he has his family to help him out if he can’t.”

Number Four didn’t want to say it out loud but Klaus was kind of his hero. He dreamt of being as smart as he was, desperate to offer some sort of offensive skill to their team. He knew what the others thought about him sometimes when they went on missions. Sure he was no Number Seven, he did have certified powers after all, but his abilities didn’t really serve in stopping bank robbers or rescuing civilians. And secretly, Number Four always admired Number Six, or Ben now it seemed, for his intelligence. Sometimes he would ask questions while he was reading just to hear him explain the intricacies of some military term or seventeenth century city he didn’t care about simply because he liked to hear someone who knew things talk about them. And, unbeknownst to the others, the two of them would sometimes sneak into each others rooms at night and go under the covers with flashlights to read ahead in their story time books. It never bothered Number Four to hear the chapters again on Sunday, and Ben didn’t seem to mind telling them for a second time.

The rest of the group sat silently for a moment taking in his words. It wasn’t often that Number Four seemed to think something through this thoroughly and then decide to share it. As loud and outgoing as he could be, he never really talked about things of substance. They all knew that he dealt with issues they didn’t—it’s hard not to hear him scream in his nightmares when it reverberates through a silent mansion in the dead of night—but that part of Number Four is always tucked very far away from the sunlight and from the others. Whether that was by choice or necessity, no one was really sure.

“I think it’s perfect… Klaus,” Number Seven encouraged, placing her hand lightly over his and giving it a squeeze.

“Thank you! You can be my Violet Seven,” Klaus smiled and squeezed her hand back. The gesture, both physical and metaphorical with the naming of her as his partner in crime, lit Number Seven’s face with joy.

“Maybe I will be Violet,” she agreed, almost in a whisper.

“Whatever. I’m going to be named Rocket,” Number Two boasted.

~

Number Two was not named Rocket.

Grace met with each of them the next day before dinner to discuss the choices they had come up with and to make sure that they would be Reginald approved, as they were to announce them at the close of the evening’s meal.

Because Number One arrived bearing no opinion on the matter, he picked a name at random from a pre-approved list that their father had drawn up. He felt smug, knowing that this would likely please his father since he was sure that none of his other siblings would dare give up the chance to not let their father decide something. His name, second row and third from the bottom, would be Luther.

Number Two was not happy when all of his name choices were shot down by Grace. He argued that she should be on his side and say screw it to what their father wanted, to which she replied that there were no sides and that he should not use “screw” in that context. He refused to pick from the pre-approved list, so the two of them workshopped a few choices before landing on something Number Two felt was cool enough and that Grace thought Reginald would sign off on. Number Two’s name would be Diego.

Number Three had spent all night going back and forth between names. She was flipping through a magazine when she landed on a photo of a smiling girl, teeth white and head thrown back in laughter, with a quote about how much fun she was having with her friends at this summer’s newest water park attraction. Her fingers stalled on the page, locking eyes with the girl in the photo and wishing that she could trade places with her. She couldn’t help herself from choosing the name scribbled across the model’s photo in bright pink, and so Number Three would be Allison.

To his surprise, Number Four’s name choice was approved without much debate. Grace felt the name was robust and reasonable, which would make Reginald happy, and that it was just as unique as Number Four himself. Without much fuss, Number Four was granted his request and would be Klaus.

Number Six faired similarly to Number Four. His choice in name didn’t spark much concern from Grace, other than the modification that his name must be officially documented in its full version. And so, Number Six would be Ben (officially Benjamin).

Although Number Seven proposed the name Violet to Grace, she was shot down as their father had apparently ruled against the use of colors as names. After seeing her disappoint, Grace compromised by agreeing to let her keep a V name. Number Seven had always loved languages, her favorite being Russian, so Grace decided to choose a name to match. Number Seven would be Vanya.

Number Five would disappear that night during the dinner at which they were all to announce their names. When he didn’t return by the meal’s end, Reginald decided to proceed without him. The children all presented their names, Vanya having to prompt Ben as he had left a customary place for Five to speak in between him and Klaus. When Number Five failed to return late into that night, the kids all snuck into the library one by one, each finding the others waiting for them in a mutual state of insomnia, feeling the need to return to a place of solace and escape. They lit a dim fire and huddled close together, leaning in to hear Ben as he read the book in a whispered tone. Their day of happiness had been overtaken by one of fear and loss, and as each child revelled in their new names they couldn’t help but feel guilty, knowing that somewhere out there, Number Five was still just a number.

[sparda3g]

Attack on Titan Chapter 123 Review

Is it possible for a person to take a different path than what was given to them? Is it possible to avoid what could be inevitable? Is it possible if a person said something that could have avoided the path that will bring annihilation? These are the questions that popped up in my head after reading this chapter. One moment could be the decisive factor to the overall story. What’s done is done, and this is the endgame.

The last chapter had me floored with the Rumbling. Eren has unleashed hell or deeper hell on Earth that might as well end with everyone dead. It’s complete madness; I don’t know how this will all end. Instead of the chapter open up with carnage, it begins with a flashback. While I’m not upset due to my anticipation for the Rumbling, I’m upset due to revisiting a forgiving sensation of peace and happiness. It doesn’t help that Sasha was there, so I can’t help but feel moved by this atmosphere. It’s welcoming, but there’s a great reason for this flashback.

It was the time for Survey Corps to visit Marley for the first time. I still can’t fathom that Isayama killed off Sasha, for she still provided humorous moments, including how she blatantly expose themselves as people from inside the walls. I really like the reactions from many characters toward the “technological advancement” compare to their homeland. The car part had me laughing a lot. They honestly thought it’s a species. It’s even funnier with Levi too thought the same, and warned them that it will hurt them. This is a nice change of pace.

The amusement continues with the introduction of ice cream. They made everything “new” seem like a big deal. I like Isayama poking fun on Levi with his stature. The clown thought he was a child, which annoyed him deep inside. Hell, it got intensified (somehow) with the cold stare. It’s only when Levi turned around that everything went back to normal. I do like Isayama’s humor. It’s the soothing atmosphere that fans needed the most. Even Mikasa eating ice cream felt comforting. I promise it’s normal as it sounds; like their beach scene.

In the midst of relaxation, Eren was the only one who appeared lost and possibly broken. If you recall, his goal was to go beyond the wall and see the world with his friends, Armin and Mikasa. Here he was, nothing to glee or feel alive. It’s a downer. He can’t help but look torn in front of his friends, yet they don’t notice his turmoil; or rather, don’t want to notice. It’s a conflicting feeling to deal with. A friend has a problem; how can one approach to them?

The sad part is, the trip didn’t astonish him since he has seen the memory of his father. The memories and likely the future have ruined his anticipation and expectation. It doesn’t help that the notion of Eldain and the mistreatment corrupted his view, even when the outside world is vast. There’s a nice page shot of the market with everyone on a casual time with Eren appearing separated from the rest aside of Mikasa, who was trying to comfort him. I feel bad for the two, but it gets more intimate later on.

The atmosphere changes quickly once Levi apprehended a boy who was pickpocketing. That small moment led to a dark movement. All the citizens instantly turned cruel, like they have flipped the switch from polite to crazy. Mind you, he’s just a boy, yet the citizens wanted to throw him overboard or smash his hand just to make an example to trespassers. Needless to say, it’s ludicrous.

It fortunately leads to an uplifting outcome with Levi saving the boy from crazies. Not to say he never helps, but it’s neat to see him helping without the need of killing. I chuckled at Hange and Sasha playing the family to protect the kid. The kid may have kept the wallet or bag, but it’s all good spirit from all ends. All except Eren, who looked once again lost. It plays a part later however.

They met with Kiyori to discuss the planning for peace treaty. As we know now, that path is definitely no longer an option. However, this established the difficulty that might as well deemed as impossible. It’s the unfortunate situation that resonates with reality with its own world problem. In this case, Paradis Island only wanted to be accepted, but after over a century, not counting on its origin, how can that happen in a day? It hurts to read their interactions, because everything they wanted to avoid came true, including Zeke’s strategy. They didn’t want any part of it. As the recent saying goes, reality is often disappointing.

Eren wasn’t there, which hinted the lack of connection. Yes, he went elsewhere to watch the boy and the family, but the way how he was illustrated to be distanced from his friends is quite telling. Mikasa found him with a tear flow. It is eerie how he noted nothing has happened to the family yet; keyword: yet. Ever since the past chapters, his words have grown cryptic and disturbing. He saw the family as similar as them: lost their home and freedom.

Now, I want to give you a heads-up on the next part. Pardon me for going into a brief analysis mode. Perhaps next time, I will do a separate post for analysis only. This is going to focus on the next scene, which sparked my interest heavily. We may jump back and forth here and there, but it’s for the sake to connect the pieces. Let’s begin.

Aside from the final scene, the one moment that grasped my attention significantly is Eren’s possibly deciding factor to his path with a question to Mikasa. This honestly threw me off as I wasn’t expecting an intimate moment; well, it’s arguable, but it’s unusual, mainly from Eren. He wanted to know why Mikasa is so attached to him. Why would she forever be on his side? What is he to her? That completely flustered her like a flirted school girl in anime. My eyes opened up like a shipping fan. Sadly, she replied with “family.” Ouch.

Let’s start off with Mikasa first. It’s believable for her to be in a confused state. She was easily caught off-guarded from Eren’s question. I felt the same way; it wasn’t like him to ask this type of question. Her pause clearly indicate that she has no clue how to respond with certainty. It wasn’t like she know right away. From the look of it, it appears Isayama has planted the seed to conclude her personal feelings.

One would believe her reply was good enough. However, in the later scene, she questioned herself if the endgame path would have been different if she responded differently, with the panel of the very scene no less. Basically, Isayama has written this scene as a wrong choice. I know the following scene has Eren feeling fine during the party, but it doesn’t dismiss the other possibility that could have been more appropriate for him. There’s multiple paths for a person to take and one may be the best outcome out of the rest. The question is, is Mikasa in love with Eren?

I am aware the series isn’t aiming for romance, though there have been romantic touch lately such as Gabi and Falco for instance. However, it doesn’t mean Isayama can’t ever introduce its element. Throughout the series, there has been hints or indirect moments that connect to Mikasa’s feelings that suggest more than sibling love; that includes the comical jealous scene. This chapter made it clearer that her attachment is above family love with her blushing and hesitation. Also, if that answer wasn’t “good enough,” then the next level is romantic love. I don’t see how lowering her level would please Eren.

Does it mean she knows she loves him? I don’t know. Although her curiosity suggest she does, maybe she really doesn’t know; at least at that time. You can see her either shying away to answer him with her true feelings, or struggled, not realizing what she truly feels and go with the one he already know. Does it matter now since the path has taken off? Possibly. The series isn’t over, so whatever Isayama has in mind with this notion, it’s likely to be a significant factor.

Now, this is tricky as we tackle on Eren’s side. To understand his reason is a puzzle itself. We must keep in mind that we never got to understand his inner thoughts and emotions. We have relied on other characters, or in this case Mikasa, to grasp an idea of his being. We would learn his motive and goal by the end, but we can’t exactly exploit his psychological state. Not to mention, how his mind operates as Attack Titan. It’s important to know his side of the story. We can only theorize until he finally speaks. With that said, let’s think about this.

Why Eren asked her that question? There’s two possible reasons. One in which is to test his fate or future reading. Have she said a different answer, perhaps he would feel a little better to know fate isn’t predetermined. As of late, it has been told that fate appears to be made and nothing Eren can do will change that. However, Zeke tested that and although the outcome may be the same, his statement has some weight left. Maybe the destination point is set, but not the journey. That’s only if Eren and his foreseen future is confirmed set in stone.

The other reason is, perhaps he loves her. Why ask that question that can be presented as romantic? What was he trying to gain there? As you noticed by now, Eren was depressed. He needed a comfort or anything that will tell him, “Life is good.” I’m no doctor at psychology, but often in media, love is described as powerful. Have Mikasa confessed her love, the path may have been different.

Don’t get me wrong. I can’t say for a fact that Eren wouldn’t go with the plan if she confessed. However, I do believe it would have some effect. What kind? We may never know. It’s a “what if” question that has no concrete solution. My main proof is chapter 50. Remember when Eren submitted to defeat and Mikasa expressed her heartfelt feelings, thanking him for everything? Eren turnaround after her words. Maybe Eren was praying for her to open up like last time, but instead, she blocked herself. It doesn’t help when the old man and their friends arrived to break the atmosphere. You can argue that he was frustrated when he said, “Perfect timing.”

It’s worth remembering the scene back in chapter 121 where Eren was watching his young-self wrapping his scarf around Mikasa. He was completely focused; didn’t respond to Zeke’s calling. Was that a hint? Come to think of it, it’s rather awkward to look back at chapter 112. If Eren took her answer as rejection, then the scene where he told her he hated her since the beginning comes off as an odd revenge. Like this is his way to get back at her. You broke my heart; now I’ll break yours. Of course, this is not true, though interesting choice of words from Eren. It was the complete opposite of love. Isayama isn’t shy from subtlety.

You may be wondering, “Why would Eren want love, especially from Mikasa?” For one thing, they are very close. More importantly, it’s likely his personal needs have matured. He’s grown up now; eventually, adulthood kicks in to their mental state. Maybe he saw her as a woman, not a sister. There are many series out there where love can change a person. One has the character converted because of it; saving him from suffering. Eren was suffering. Maybe we would have chapter 125 of “that” series happening here. Weird, because we’re almost at 125. Perfect timing.

Joking aside, it’s abundantly clear Isayama wants the fans to keep this moment in mind. I can’t confirm if this is based on romantic love, but it can possibly go to that route, now that Mikasa’s feeling is finally put into the test. Grisha founded peace with the second family with a better intention. Eren perhaps wanted the same, but judging by the end, it’s too little too late. Back to the review.

On the lighter note, after the tension between Eren and Mikasa broke, everyone joined the feast with homeless people. It’s relaxing and heartwarming. There’s no dialogue, but its visual express the tenderness that won’t replicate again. Quite amusing to see how each character acts when they are drunk. I like how Jeane and Connie brought in more drinks to continue the fun. Only Levi and Hange didn’t join in; must be the clown that stopped them. In all seriousness, it was great. The last panel with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin sleeping left me feeling sad; this may be the last time.

The meeting with the nations destroyed the possibility of peace with Paradis Island as everyone declared them as devils. That was the final nail to the coffin. Eren disappeared and the rest began in chapter 100. Let’s say if Mikasa did confess. Perhaps it would have stopped him from disappearing and instead, stick together. It reminds me of another series, whereas every development counts to determine the character’s fate. With no support, this is his fate.

It’s worth noting this was narrated by Mikasa, which I thought it is fitting. Her narration speaks for us fans on Eren’s true character. We are still bewildered, but slowly, we learning more and more. It’s most necessary to receive his side of the story, so we can only speculate. Based on how she ended, it left her with a regret. I can’t say it will make a huge difference, but anything is better than nothing. It’s back to the present and god almighty, she couldn’t be any more right.

The sight of a Titan army with one incredibly large one, most likely Eren, is bone-chilling. I think it’s safe to say we are in for an Evangelion ending, or in recent years, Devilman. I remember the audio of the ending played at the exhibit. Now it’s making a lot of sense with this revelation. The large incomplete form Titan is dangerously frightening. It looks like it’s forming a dinosaur body, but I think it will be like Rod Reiss’s Ttian, only larger. The fact it’s larger than the army is faint-worthy.

I appreciate the realistic atmosphere of the rising behemoths. It’s so damn loud, Armin has to shout to inform Mikasa on Eren’s true intention. It would be silly if it was all muted, so nice work on the detail. Armin finally enlightens her that Eren has always been on their side. He believes Eren only wanted to do the Rumbling to crush the Allied Forces at Marley and protect Paradis Island. He is right on the crushing the enemy part; however, the scale is far, far more than he thought, and that’s being generous.

It occurs that Wall Maria is also going down, which is unnecessary according to Armin. Sure, the more firepower, the better, but it’s more than enough to crush one nation. I thought the Rumbling was the most likely choice for Eren. While that remains true, the scale is what I got it wrong. By this point, I was shaking as if I was there. It becomes clear when Eren communicates to all subjects of Ymir through PATHS. I got chills from the pages alone.

It’s heart-wrenching with each passing page with each line slowly builds up to Eren’s goal. At least Pieck is alive, so that’s one bright spot. Anyway, it’s probably the first since time-skip that we hear his feelings. He had enough of everyone’s wish to eliminate Paradis Island. In return, he will protect his people and kill everyone outside the island; by that, I mean mass genocide. Well, that went completely dark. I’m honestly stunned. Technically, Eren has become the final villain. God, the last pages were blistering cold level of chills. I felt the anger. To put it simple: the good news is, Eren is back; the bad news is, Eren is back. What a twisted world.

This was a great chapter. It may not have progressed the story further, but the depth of its characters continue to impress. The flashback was an emotional rollercoaster; from tenderness to depressing. I apologize for going on long with the analysis, but I know it’s essential since Isayama highlighted as a turning point in some regards. The present timeline was seriously bone-chilling. The presentation was great. The revelation left me awed. It’s simple, but the depth is what sold me. I’m sure Armin and Mikasa don’t approve this, but the damage is done. If the world wants a villain like Eren, they got their wish. Now, fight or die.

[an-ace-phoenix]

Whumptober Day 12

12. "Don't move."

 "Hey Peter!" Tony greeted with a smile as Peter walked into the compound.

 Peter waved with a small smile on his face, but other than that he didn't show any change. Tony was standing on the other side of the room after all, no one else could hear him, if Peter showed that he could then people would get suspicious.

 "Welcome midtown high!" An overenthusiastic girl of about 25 greeted them. "My name is Charlie and I will be guiding you around Stark industries, or how it is more commonly referred to - the Avengers compound." Charlie had a certain bounce in her step which could only be gained from loving your job.

 She flicked her bright red hair over shoulder as she led everyone towards the lifts. "In just a moment, I will give you all a pass, you must keep it on you at all times, or else you will be stuck. You will need your pass for all lifts and all doors, it's just a security measure." Everyone nodded along while Charlie spoke, hanging onto her every word. "There are 5 levels. You will have level 1, guest. It will get you around all the guest floors but you won't be able to get anywhere else." With that, Charlie grabbed a bundle of passes labelled with the word 'midtown' from behind the entrance desk and started handing them out.

 It was only once everyone had a pass, that Flash felt the need to speak up. "Excuse me, why doesn't Peter have a pass?" Peter tried to not roll his eyes at Flash's fake polite tone. He could tell he was just trying to get Peter kicked out or something. Nothing would say 'doesn't have an internship' like being kicked off the trip.

 "Peter already has one." Charlie explained as Peter pulled his pass from where he had put it in his bag. He didn't know Charlie very well, their paths rarely crossed, but they did from time to time and Peter thought they got on white well, even if they had only talked a couple of times.

 "Why is Peter's pass black?" Sarah asked from the back of their huddle. Sarah was one of the few people in Peter's class who fully believed that he had an internship, without being a close friend. He had asked her why once, her answer had been that he was clever enough. It had been kind of odd but Sarah seemed nice enough so he had just moved on.

 "Black stands for level 5. He has full clearance. The only clearance higher than level 5 is for the people who live here, they don't even need a pass, FRIDAY just lets them in." Charlie says, clearly enjoying blowing the minds of all these high schoolers. Peter bushed under all the shocked stares which suddenly turned on him.

 "Level 5!"

 "The highest level!"

 "Wow!"

 Before anyone could say anything more, Charlie spoke above all their shocked whispers, "right, we better get on with the tour. If we don't get started now we won't have time for meeting the Starks!"

 Everyone instantly shut up and fell into line and Peter marvelled at the power of meeting the Starks. He saw them so often they were practically his parents and he had also seen them at 3 am while sleep deprived - raising a kid was tiring don't judge. To be fair they were just as cool then as people always thought they were - just in a different way.

 Peter had to say, the next few hours really were fun. He had been terrified that it would go badly - that Flash would spend the entire time bullying him or Tony would try and embarrass him, but it actually went really well. Flash mainly stayed away and so did Tony, they only saw him once and that was just in passing. Tony had been too busy talking to Pepper to do much more than a vague wave. The tour was mainly about the roles of interns - Peter already knew about this, he had been given an internship and had lots of fun working with the other interns - and also about the main science and maths roles in Stark industries. Peter actually learnt quite a lot - he had been kind of thrown into this world, he hadn't have time to learn about all the different roles. So overall, it started out interesting and fun. Peter had even seen Kevin - one of the interns Peter often worked with - and when his class went to talk to Kevin, he had shown off a robot. A robot Peter had helped design. Not that they told Peter's class this, but it was always fun to hear your class marvelling over something you helped make.

 Unfortunately, things couldn't stay that perfect.

 "And this is the Chemistry labs. Any chemical reaction you can think of, has probably been done here." Charlie said as they walked into the lab. Peter knew about these labs well, he didn't normally work here but sometimes when he worked on his web formula without Tony, he would find himself here. "Hey Benny, Jo." Charlie waved at the two interns who appeared to be in the middle of a formula. Benny was dripping what looked like some kind of acid into a test tube while Jo seemed to be taking notes.

 "Hey." Jo waved back, just as the test tube started smoking and making popping noises. Jo quickly started scribbling on her piece of paper their results.

 Suddenly a shrill notice filled the lab and the three stark industry workers - and Peter - all froze. 

 "Is that the fire alarm?"

 "What's that noise?"

 "What's going on?"

 Peter's class mates were full of confusion, but Peter was just full of fear. It was not the fire alarm. It was the intruder alert. It only went off when there was some type of super intruder and the Avengers needed to stop what they were doing and stop them. Or- even more threatening - when there was a gunner in the building. Peter had no idea which it would be.

 The alarm kept on blaring and no one seemed to know what to do. As soon as FRIDAY's voice came through the speakers, telling the Avengers to get to floor 6, everyone burst into activity. All of Peter's classmates seemed to be trying to find a way out but all the doors were locked so they were just getting louder and louder, starting to panic.

 "Don't move." Charlie barked above the noise, her happy easy-going demeanour dropping as she took control. "Jo, Benny, make sure all the chemical cupboards are locked. Everyone else, move in an orderly file towards the back of the room."

 Peter did as he was told, following the rest of his class. The Avengers probably had this covered, they didn't need Spiderman.

 He was all ready to just sit there and wait it out, but then FRIDAY's voice spoke up over the alarm. "Charlie, your group is the closest to room 346, Morgan is alone in that room and needs someone to get her."

 Peter could feel his veins turning to ice. Room 346 was just down the corridor from here, but Morgan was alone, and there was someone in the compound. Someone who could hurt her. Without even thinking, Peter stood up and walked to the doors.

 "FRIDAY, unlock the door." He said quickly and lowly, ignoring the odd looks people were sending his way. He knew he could get out, grab Morgan and get back in a couple of minutes, he could go on the ceiling if he had to. He was the best candidate for the job.

 "Peter?" It was Charlie, of course she wanted to know what he was doing.

 "I'll be right back, don't worry." He assured just as the door swished open and Peter slipped out. He heard the door lock behind him and knew he was alone. He could deal with that.

 He quickly scurried along the corridor. He couldn't see anyone hear anyone, so he had a feeling he was safe - for now anyway.

 As soon as he reached room 346, he let out a sigh of relief. Without him even asking, FRIDAY unlocked the door and suddenly Peter had an armful of baby Stark.

 "PETER!" She squealed, Morgan adored her older brother and Peter adored her.

 "Shhh, we have to be very quiet, ok?" Morgan looked confused but nodded in agreement and when Peter gestured to his back she complied without a word, hopping into a piggyback and holding on as tightly as she could.

 After making sure she was secure, Peter walked back out the door he had entered through and climbed onto the ceiling. Morgan giggled quietly, like she always did when they went wall climbing so Peter shushed her with a single finger against his mouth.

 They were both silent as they crept along, and everything was going well until suddenly, there was a shadow below them. There was a person below them. A person with a gun.

 They didn't seem interested in the chemical lab with all of Peter's class mates in it, they seemed to be looking for something, or someone.

 "Where is that pesky child. How hard could it be to track down one toddler."

 Peter froze. They were talking about Morgan. Morgan who was on his back right now, right above them.

 He carefully lifted his hand if the ceiling, pressing it against Morgan's mouth in the hopes they wouldn't hear her breathing. Despite only being tiny, Morgan seemed to understand something dangerous was happening as she stayed quiet, still and overall statue like.

 It felt like an eternity, but it was probably only a minute or two, before the person moved on, back the way Peter had come from. If he hadn't gone to grab Morgan, they would be seconds away from finding her.

 From there it was easy enough. Slip onto the floor. Walk back into the room. Re-join his class at the back of the room. The only difference than before was now he had Tony Stark's kid huddled against him.

 He was sure he could figure out an excuse later.

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 "Thanks kid." Tony said 20 minutes later, taking a sleeping Morgan out of Peter's arms. The armed figure had been taken down by the avengers and everyone was safe. Everyone, even Morgan. "I hate to think about what could have happened if you didn't go to grab her." Tony said, shivering slightly at the thought, ignoring the group of teenagers staring at his back in wonder and shock.

 Peter agreed. He would have hated to see that unfold.

 "No problem." He replied, and he meant it. When it came to his family, it really wasn't a problem.

[architect-arcane]

The Impact Zone (Harrison x reader)

 AU: Soulmate / tattoo

 Fandom: Bondi Rescue

Words: ~ 2,132

Part: 1/?

A/N: So the bondi rescue fandom is seriously lacking in, well, everything. It’s an amazing show and if you like shirtless guys, then you’d enjoy it. Season 10 and 11 are on netflix and season 13 premiered yesterday. ANYWHO, I wanted to write something due to the extreme lack in fics (especially fics here on tumblr), and Harrison fics in general. (wattpad has a bunch but they’re like 62% jesse and 35% Maxi)

Another note: I usually don’t care for the soulmates au’s but I got this idea a couple days ago and I’m kinda obsessed with it, so yeah. Here we go –

Soulmates are a weird concept to me. Despite the fact that it’s how our society works. Like, you’re supposed to meet and fall in love with a complete stranger just because they have the same tattoo as you? What kind of higher power decided that was a good idea? But, it’s a thing and I guess I just have to deal with it.

Everyone gets their tattoo at a different time in their lives. Sometimes they appear right away when you’re born, sometimes you have to wait until you’re in your 20s or 30s until it appears. They appear someplace on your body with a white ink look, and slowly turn black as you get closer to meeting your soulmate – emphasis on slowly. Even if you do meet them, it’s a gradual change to black, so it may take a couple hours up to a couple days or weeks before you even know it’s them.

My parents were lucky enough to be high school sweethearts. Ironically enough, their tattoos are hearts; my mom’s is on her hip, my dad’s on his wrist. My older brother and his wife were also high school sweethearts, though it took much longer for their tattoos to turn to black for some reason. We always joke that they had a glitch or something. My younger sister literally met her soulmate in kindergarten. Like, wtf? They’re sophomores and still too young to marry, but still. And then there’s me. I’m 22, about to start my last year of college, and still have yet to meet my soulmate. Middle child syndrome I guess? I’m starting to think he doesn’t exist.

Not only that but I was also a late bloomer in even getting my soulmate tattoo. It didn’t appear until summer last year: a wave on my ankle.

Considering it showed up so late, I can only assume that I won’t meet my soulmate until I’m like 35 or something. So I guess he does exist since I at least have a tattoo. It’s just finding him that will be the challenge now. Like I said, my final year of college is starting soon, meaning that I will be graduating in May, which means that I have to find a job and be out in the real world, making it even harder to find the guy.

Growing up on the coast has its perks. Not only is it warm a majority of the year, but if you live anywhere near a beach, you probably grew up surfing or doing something related to water. I’m pretty sure I’ve been swimming since I came out of the womb. And as soon as I could walk, my dad was taking me out and teaching me to surf. By the time I was 13, I was winning almost all the competitions I was in. I definitely wasn’t famous by any means, but a lot of people knew who I was. I did that up though high school. Focusing on my studies, I surf a lot less now, but many students and professors still recognize me and it’s kind of weird. But I wasn’t about to do four years of online college, sooo….

That all aside, I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining this much. I’m kicking off my senior year by taking a summer trip to Australia. How many people get to say that? And I’ve heard there’s amazing surf there too, so I’ll be doing that for sure. I wasn’t even really planning on taking this trip but just a few days ago I talked to my parents about it and they were okay with it, so I just booked it. Talk about spontaneity right?

I make though customs smoothly and as I enter the plane for the dreaded 15 hour flight from LAX to Sydney, I try to get comfortable. Luckily, it seems like a decently small amount of passengers, so after a few hours, I should be able to find a row of seats to lay down on. And just that happens. Once we take off and high enough to turn on electronics, I get on my computer for a while. I check social medias, watch a little Netflix and hulu, and write on the blog diary I decided to keep for this week.

After quite some time of that, my eyes start to hurt from looking at my screen, and I decide to finally sleep for hopefully the rest of the flight, but who knows? It’s dark out so that should help a little. There are a couple people in my row unfortunately, but by some odd luck, the row behind us is completely empty. I put my laptop away, shove my bag under the seat and shimmy out of the row of seats I’m currently in. Going into the overhead bins to grab some sleeping stuff, I pull out a small pillow and my sleeping mask. I then go into the row behind us and prepare myself for what is hopefully a decent sleep.

Time passes, and when I wake up I check the little tv screen on the back of the seat in front of me to see where we are and how much time is left on the flight. Surprisingly, I slept a good six hours meaning I only have about four hours left of this flight. After calling a flight attendant and ordering some food because I’m starving, I pull out my computer again and occupy myself for the remaining time on this flight. Considering we’re over the ocean – well, just flying in general – I have no point of reference to try to figure out what time it is where I’m at, but my phone says 1PM Cali time. I think that means it’s just after 7AM in Sydney. Time zones are so weird because I left home just after midnight on a Sunday, and when I land in Sydney, it’ll be 11AM Tuesday already. Wild.

 The beep of the intercom brings me out of my concentration on my computer screen. “Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking. We are preparing our descent to Sydney. The current time is 11:34 in the morning, Tuesday, and the current temperature is a balmy 78°. That’s 25 for you locals.” There’s a few chuckles across the plane and the fasten seatbelts sign lights up. Putting away my things and going back to my original seat, I buckle up and prepare for landing.

Landing smoothly, it takes half hour before we get to our gate. It takes another half hour after that to even get my things and get off the plane. Walking off of the air conditioned plane and into the Australia heat, the captain wasn’t lying when he said it was balmy. I almost immediately start sweating. You’d think I’d be used to this, living in SoCal, but nope. I guess not. It’s all good once I get back into the airport. I head straight to baggage claim, find my suitcase, and head out to get a taxi. Luckily, there’s a small line of taxis waiting to pick up morning arrivals. After the few families ahead of me get in their taxis and leave, I get to the front of the line and greet my driver. After getting my suitcase and carry-ons loaded in the trunk, I get in the back of the car.

“Where to?” Alex, my taxi driver asks.

“Hotel Ravesis.”

“Okay! Pretty fancy.”

I chuckle, “Is it? There was a deal when I booked it, so I’m not sure.”

“Oh yes. It’s on Campbell Parade, which is right across the road from Bondi Beach, one of Australia’s most famous beaches.”

“Ooh nice!” I say excitedly. “Can’t wait to go there.”

“Swimmer?”

“And surfer. I’ve been surfing basically since I could walk.”

“Oh wow! Well you’ll have a great time here then. Any special reason you’re visiting?” 

I shake my head, “Not really. Just doing a big solo trip before I start my senior year of college.”

“Very nice. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

We continue to talk for the entire half hour of the drive. When we arrive, I pay him and he helps me get my things to the entryway of the hotel. I thank him again and head in. After checking in, I head to my room and finally relax on the bed. Next thing I know, I’m waking up and two more hours have passed. Guess I was a lot more tired that I thought I was. In my defense, the hotel bed is quite a bit more comfortable than a row of airplane seats.

Now a little after four, I decide I should probably find someplace to eat a proper meal, which I haven’t had since before I left home. I think there’s a café within or right outside this hotel, so I decide to go there.

After an amazing meal, I decide to take it easy and just walk around this famous Campbell Parade. I’m not tired yet, but the jet lag will probably catch up to me tomorrow. Walking down the street, there’s a bunch of shops and food places, just like any other big city. Definitely more surf shops though.

It takes me only about 20 minutes to walk from the hotel to end up on the far northeast side of the beach. If I remember correctly, Alex said that this was the famous Bondi Beach. Probably a dream of every surfer to be here. And here I am. Though I’m far less than prepared – I don’t have my swimsuit or even a towel – that doesn’t mean I can’t take a walk along the beach. I head down the stairs beside what looks like the kiddie pool, take off my flip flops, and slowly begin my walk.

The water is so blue, the sand isn’t too hot, and it’s just an overall beautiful day. And there’s so many people here! Many probably are not fond of the crowds, but I love it. My favorite part is that no one here knows who I am. Being in the surfing circuit back home, everyone knew who you were no matter where you were…especially me since I was winning all the time. 

As I begin my walk I see children playing in the pool and the shallows of the ocean, other people swimming all along the coast, surfers further out catching waves, and more people just sunbathing on the sand. This feels like home to me. I can’t wait to be surfing here tomorrow. I walk in between the mass of people and the wall barricading the far end of the beach. I make it half way, right by the big lifeguard tower. If I hadn’t spent my whole childhood surfing competitively, I probably would have been a lifeguard in high school during the summer months. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do – save people’s lives.

Stopping for a moment, I take in the view. I may be here all week, but I’ll be spending most of it in the water, so now is a good time to just look at it all. I walk a little further and get to the steps where visitors can enter the beach. Going up a few to get a better view, I pull out my phone and take a few pictures. Not only is the attendance at the beach astounding, but so is the sunset. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. Right as I begin my descent, I hear the starting of a motor. I look to my left and see an atv of some sort hooked up to a trailer with a jet ski speed to the water. My eyes follow it and its occupants. These are clearly the lifeguards, as noted by their blue pullovers which I couldn’t read, but another one came running down the stairs from the lifeguard tower carrying something and getting in another atv, and I saw that their pullover said LIFEGUARD. Now I know who to look out for.

I continue down the entrance stairs and continue my walk down the beach. Making it to the end, I walk up the ramp so I can get back on a sidewalk. It is now just after six, so I complete my circle and eat a small dinner just by the hotel at a café. After finishing, I head back to my room and sit out on my room’s balcony, looking out at the night sky. I’m still pretty awake, so I get on my laptop and update my blog diary, check my social medias again, and by the time that’s all done, I’m actually pretty tired. I take a shower to finally freshen up after traveling, braid my hair so it’s cute and wavy for tomorrow, and head to bed.

part two

[krnaturalphoto]

When I first started running I never thought I eould be doing the things I have done. They were not things thst I wanted to do. Some of the things I’ve done I didn’t even know were things people do when I first started running. Like trail running; that’s a thing? Running a trail marathon; people really do that?

As I began to run more I met more people. I made amazing friends. I learned more about running and the amazing things that runners really do. I learned about what the human body is capable of. More importantly I began to learn whst my body was capable of. I began to push myself farther and farther, literally. First a 5k, then a 10k, then a half marathon, several half marathons. I began to trail run more and more and conqured those same distances on the trails and thn pushed farther to 25k trail runs. Looking for that next challenge. Looking for that next beautiful trail I could experience. Wondering where tht next trail would take me.

Last year I was invited to participate in the event that really set all this in motion. My friend invited me to particiapte in an event with her and a couple other firends. We would run the Sehgahund Trail Marathon relay together. Once again, this was a thing that I didn’t realize even existed at the time. This was sucha fun event for me. It doesn’t get much better than spending time out on the trails with your friends working as a team. I don’t know if my fiend will think if this event with as much appreciation for the path it has sent us down as I do, but for me it was a formative event that has helped lead me to where I am now.

After building up by running loner distances last year culminatiung with a chalenging 25k I returned to the idea of Sehgahunda. We had all begun running more and more trails and I thought what if we all trained together and ran the full solo Sehgahunda Trail Marathon together. I almost couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth, and I don’t think my friends could either at first. A marathoin was never something I had thougtht about wanting to do. But now that the idea had formed in my head I just couldn’t shake it.

I spent all winter training and continued into spring. As the day of the race approached I began to feel nervous and anxious. I really has no idea what to expect. I just had to hope my training had me prepared for this. My wife was going to be at the race crewing and cheering me on at the aide stations and check points. Even though I really had no idea how this race would go for me I told her that I felt like if everything went well and I felt good I thought I could be done in six hours.

My friends and I spent the week leading up to the race watching the weather forecast for race day. The two conditions we were hoping not to have for the race was for it to not be too hot and for it not to be too wet. If it was wet we knew the trails leading to the aide stations/check points would be muddy disasters. We were fortunate enough to not have heat, which for me is the worst possible condition. However, we had plenty of rain leading up to the race including rain the night before the race and it actively rained during most of the race itself.

The trails that take you to the aide stations/check points lead you out of the woods and generally into open fields. The fields were completely saturated with water. It was a mud-fest. There was standing water in areas. The mud was at least ankle deep on most of these trails. You just slipped and slid all over. You couldn’t get any footing. You couldn’t push off because your feet just slid out behind you. As a mid pack runner another problem is that half of the runners are ahead of you so they have all already trampled through this area and degraded the trail a great deal. The traffic out in front on these trails basically created a narrow steep rut of mud to run through. You couldn’t step off to the side because it was so muddy that you slid back down into the trench. Gravity was doing its job. And it got more complicated. Not only did you have to navigate the water hazards and the deep slippery mud these sections were out and backs with two way traffic going down a path that especially due to the mud was basically single track. Trying to continue to move forward without colliding with your fellow runners was not as easy as it might seem. Combine this challenge with the possibility of passing other runners going the same direction as you and it was even more difficult. It basically became more effective to divert so far off the designated path that you were basically out in a field of knee high grass. But even that wasn’t possible most places.

On the way to most of the aide stations/check points you were going up hill. So, you were working against gravity in ground conditions that made it very to push off or use any power or strength to propel oneself forward as the ground just continued to shift under your foot as you pushed against it. The factors combined to result in a lot of walking up through the mud. On the way down from the aide stations/check points you were presented with a different kind of challenge. The mud was obviously still there but instead of going against gravity you were going with gravity down the hill. And instead of the mud preventing you from pushing off of to propel yourself up, now the mud prevented you from planting your feet to slow yourself down and control your descent. It was like mud skiing except there was much less control of direction and footing than with actual skies on snow. You slid and splattered down the hill at the best speed you could manage without completely losing control and either falling or colliding with a fellow runner. I’ve heard running described as controlled falling and this was as close to that as I have ever felt. The fall was barely under control but felt inevitable. However, I managed not to fall on any of those sections.

I thought that the main trails that ran through the woods would remain mostly firm with only a relatively small degree of mud despite the rain. I even advised my friend against running in her trail shoes with more aggressive tread for better grip in the mud because I thought the main trails would not be so bad as to require it and the side trails up to the aide stations would be so muddy that they wouldn’t make a difference. Luckily she was smart enough to ignore me and follow her own instincts. The main trail was much muddier than I had anticipated. I lost a shoe in a mud hole in less than two miles. I saw all the runners ahead of me running around this muddy spot and I thought it made no sense to take the extra steps to avoid it since we were going to get plenty muddy anyway. I ran right through the middle of the mud I went through it just fine. I didn’t slip at all. Unfortunately though one of my shoes did not follow me through those several steps and remained lodged in the mud. Being early in the race I was still moving along at a decent pace and despite my shoes being tied as tightly as I could get them my foot slipped right out and I took several muddy steps with no shoe on one foot. Then I had to retrace my steps and shimmy my foot back into my shoe.

I love the trails that make up the Sehgahunda course. They are almost entirely single track until the last 4 miles. The trails twist and turn and wind their way through the woods at Letchworth State Park. You get to see and enjoy so much gorgeous woodland scenery. You can see out across the gorge created by the Genesee River at times. You run along sloping ravines as you traverse the forest. You you run down into than back up out of countless gullies created by water runoff over the years. I was actually pleasantly surprised that there wasn’t more water in the gullies considering all the rain we had been having and were currently experiencing during the race.

I didn’t really have a plan for the race other than do whatever it takes to finish. I didn’t have a set plan to try to average a certain pace or anything. I started out the race running whatever pace felt comfortable. I wasn’t running hard but I wasn’t holding back either. I felt really good the whole first half of the race.

The race has a fair amount of elevation gain overall but there aren’t really any particularly steep climbs, which is good for me because I am not good at climbing and it always seems to just suck the life right out of my legs for whatever follows. Despite there being no steep elevation gains there are still some really nice long gradual downhill sections where you can pick up some speed and run faster. I was able to use these features to my advantage throughout the first half of the race.

As I approached the first side station/check point, about 6 miles into the race, I caught up to a couple of my female friends who were also running the full marathon. So I was able to chat with some friends out on the trail for a few minutes. At the aide station/check point I got one of my Calorie Bomb Cookies, that I made from the recipe in the No Meat Athlete Cookbook, out of my pack and ate and drank there. I said hi to my wife who was there to cheer me on and crew for me. Then I was back off on the trail.

After getting back down into the woods I eventually caught up to my two friends who I originally hatched this crazy plan with. We were able to talk for a little while out on the trail. We were all in good spirits. I also took some video of them running which I don’t know if they were aware of at the time. I continued to move along in the trails at a pretty good pace for me. I was just casually running down a relatively nondescript section of trail when I apparently failed to pick my size 14 foot up high enough to clear a root or a rock because I went down. I tripped and went straight down flat on my chest and face. Luckily I was able to brace myself somewhat with my outstretched hands like superman. Fortunately I was not hurt and I popped back up and continued to run. One of my fellow runners asked if I was ok and my response was that “I’m a professional faller at this point. I don’t get hurt.”

The large number of participants from our running club, Southern Tier Running Club, included several teams running the relay. The relay teams from our club included some very fast kids. Kids who are much faster than me on my best day. My friends and I had been talking about how long we thought it would be before I was passed by one of our club’s relay teams. Even with a 30 minute headstart it was only a matter of time before they overtook me. I said I would be happy if I stayed ahead of them for 10 miles. I actually did better than I expected. I didn’t get passed by the first member of one of our relay teams until mile 12. He went flying past me like I was standing still.

As I approached the 3rd aide station/check point at mile 15 I was starting to get tired. The plan here was to take the time to change my socks and reapply anti chaffing ointment to my feet because I have had problems with blisters on my past long runs. First I had to scrape the mud off my shoes just so I could get to my shoe laces. Changing my socks felt so good. It was much more noticeable than I had expected and even though I didn’t change my wet and muddy shoes my feet still felt dry and comfortable. I don’t know if that was a byproduct of wearing Darn Tough brand socks or what, but I was happy for it. The second half of the race was a little drier and less muddy so the change in socks was a good decision even though it took a significant amount of time to do. It also helps to keep your feet dry if you keep your shoes on while running which I managed to do during the second half of the race by keeping my weight more on my toes through the muddier areas. I was able to see my wife again and talk and absorb some of her positive vibes and every as she cheered me on and then I was off from the third stop.

The second half of the race was kind of a blur. The aide stations/check points were closer together and I took advantage of that. But the second half of the race felt like much more of a grind. Just trying to keep movingforward. It also seemed to have more elevation gain or at least more sustained segments of elevation gain requiring more walking. One part I do remember was falling once again on a very nondescript section of trail. Not doing anything that really should have lead to me falling. Just failing to pick up my feet. When I got up I saw another pair of runners standing over me and one said that they had just fallen there too. So it must have been booby trapped. At least I wasn’t the only one it took down.

At some point as the day progressed it began to get warmer and more humid down in the forest and when you emerged at aide stations/check points you could feel the cool breeze out in the open and we bantered with the great volunteers regarding their nice weather. I took some ice and put it under my hat and tucked some into the buff I was wearing around my neck to help me stay cool.

As I traversed the trails over the second half of the race what I knew to be my weakness became increasingly apparent. My hips and core muscle were getting tighter and increasingly sore. All the muscles you use to lift your legs and stabilize yourself in you pelvic girdle were screaming at me. I pushed on through the discomfort. I walked when I needed to on inclines and stretched my muscles as best I could at side stations/check points.

When I began the flatter section that was basically old logging road or gravel road or some combination of the two I knew I was getting closer to the end from the preview run I did here with my friends. Only about four miles to go. It was both a relief and a bit of mental torture. I was relieved to know the end was in sight but felt like how can there still be four miles. And those four miles seemed to drag on forever. But despite that the simple knowledge of how close I was to the end and the relative flatness of this section of the course allowed me to run at a reasonable pace and push myself to sustain it.

When I emerged from the woods onto the park road I was almost done. The finish was literally in sight. Just one more hurdle to get over. That last section of road included a not so small hill and it feels especially daunting after 25 miles. Who does that? Who throws one last hill in within the last quarter mile of a trail marathon? I was determined not to walk up that hill. I don’t know how fast or slow I went up that hill but I maintained some version of running all the way up. I am sure it wasn’t pretty.

As I approached the finish I saw my wife there cheering me on. She has been such a huge support for me during all this insane training. It helped push me across the finish just to see her. It was a great feeling to cross that finish and just stop moving for a minute. It’s a great post race vibe at Sehgahunda. Talking to friends who’ve already finished, waiting to cheer friends on through the finish, and cheering on other runners is a great way to finish off the day. Oh yeah, did I mention there is food and beer.

The other aspect of all this aside from the running for me has been trying to document as much as possible as a photographer. Race day was not a good day for photography so I did not take many still photos with my GoPro, but I did shoot several segments of video, which I honestly haven’t even watched yet to see how they came out. I’m hoping I can compile the footage into something bigger at some point. Race photos didn’t turn out great which is a bummer but I did some creative editing to try to make them look as good as possible and they accompany this post. I hope you enjoyed reading this way too long race report.

If you’ve enjoyed this and want to support my work become a supporter of mine on Patreon for as little as $1 a month. It helps me put all this together. Thanks for your support

DCIM108GOPROG0034419.JPG

DCIM108GOPROG0034448.JPG

DCIM108GOPROG0034497.JPG

Running My First Trail Marathon When I first started running I never thought I eould be doing the things I have done.