#everything is going to shit 🫠
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#whys getting out of bed and eating something the hardest thing ever#i feel so 🫠🫠🫠#im so frustrated like just get up and eat its not that hard#everything feels awful#i haven’t had a proper meal for 3 days and WHY? no clue#now its too late.. anything i eat will make me feel terrible i hate that it always gets to this point#i feel like im suffocating the air circulation is terrible in here my window is too small#and its too hot outside ffs its december what the fuck#also whenever i open the windows mosquitos always come in and bite me it’s annoying#and i have to work on my group project but honestly im too depressed to do anything#its due on thursday… and i haven’t done ANYTHING#i have a mid tomorrow and a final on wednesday im so stressed but i can’t fucking get out of bed!!!!! its so frustrating#i need a break from everything im so burnt out even from my friendships#everything is going to shit 🫠
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ENDING SPOILERS FOR BG3 AHEAD
Hate that I found this scene kinda hot
#listen. evil nawen is absolutely a possibility#even tho it isn't my canon ok she's my dear little antihero and saved everyone <3#but the way I made her she's like. in a pretty unpredictable mental state#she's come from a background of doing terrible shit as a shadow thief often against her will#and now bc of the tadpole she has time to breathe and decide what to do w her life for#reasons I won't go into rn bc it's a long story jfjfjkfkf#but basically she's in this dilemma of let yourself become The Worst(and go back to your organization post game)#or learn to be a better person again(and turn your back on the thieves even tho you will likely be hunted to death)#so she could really go either way depending on how the game goes and controlling the brain could rlly be a possibility for her#honestly even if she decided to turn her back on the thieves it could be a possibility#the power she'd have?? she'd never have to worry abt being hunted by them#but good path nawen would never 😔 she wouldn't sacrifice everything she's built#it's kinda sad to see her on her good path choosing this tho bc like. astarion's reaction??#man looks so betrayed#in her evil path she would likely have ascended him and their relationship would already be too fucked up for her to care#but in this one?? that's just painful#sleep.txt#bg3#bg3 spoilers#oc.nawen#but. even w all that. I am not above finding evil women hot 🫠#goth mommy go evil brain go brrr ooga booga#nawenlore
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i’ll be really happy when we have ac, a washer and dryer, and a shower again
#🫠#moved in and everything broke lol#i put on basketball shorts when i’m at home so it’s not as gross as it sounds#i’ll probably have to wash my like Outside shorts in the sink today but i’ve been so busy#i need smth to wear when i go out that isn’t wet :(#at least it’s so hot outside if i make a little system to hang shit outside it’ll probably dry#just dry with a lot of pollen lol
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Via turnered_on
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The last clip is of Aviation (second time he’s played it on this tour)
argirisliosis The one and only @mileskane brought his "One Man Band" show in Athens last night and everyone in that room went crazy for him ⚡️(as they should)
Inhaler
#17/05/2024#happy international day against homophobia; transphobia and biphobia love you all#happiness looks so good on him#his spelling ability truly is going down the drain these last few days 🤣🤣😭#I love that he says first turtle fully knowing and accepting of the fact that he’s gonna get showered in a bunch more#He truly never has to buy anything ever again cuz we’re supplying him with everything turtle themed#He really broke James in the course of this tour and just annoyed him so long till he gave in and started to enjoy it as well 😅#You should have seen my face when I saw the pic 😶🌫️😶🌫️🫠#Kinky bastard#The fucking bread just in the corner 🤣#Also RIDDLER ?!!! Like yeah Wirral riddler but also Alex Turner as the riddler#That mf ring#like it either means so much to him that he doesn’t care that it’s slightly too big for him#and therefore keeps on slipping around his finger (his two signed rings always stay in the exact ‘upright’ position)#or he purposefully turns that shit over#Instagram#father is fathering so hard#Athens
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#why is everything making me so anxious#this has happened before#I get like. anxiety cycles#but they require so much effort to mitigate I just want to do my shit#I might just have a frustration cry on my lunch break#maybe that’ll help#I’m really okay things are actually going really good#maybe that’s why idk#🫠🫠🫠
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all thoughts, head full of ✨aventurine✨
+ a bunch of rambling/life updates in the tags, oops
#kayleigh.txt#y’all i seriously cannot stop thinking about this lil’ pixelated man 🫠#i officially have everything to fully level and max him and his lightcone and his traces 👏🏻#only e0s1 of course; i’m broke af 😅#hopefully for his rerun i can get some eidolons but alas not this time unfortunately 💔#he’s literally on the same level as kaeya in my heart; favorite hsr character for sure#(jing yuan has been demoted to my second favorite now because i am a silly goose)#i honestly never thought i’d be so adoring of hoyoverse characters but... here we are 🤷🏼♀️#actual legitimate feelings for real people??? ❎#actual legitimate feelings for fictional characters??? ✅#aNYWAYS the brainrot is really bad y’all and i apologize that my entire personality has been taken over by this man 🤡#i wish that i had an income right now so that i could commission some self–indulgent selfship art but alas 😩#once my irl bestie’s wedding and honeymoon is over on may 10th i will be going back to looking for a job 👌🏻#i’ve applied to probably 50+ jobs throughout the past few months and have heard absolutely nothing back 💀#i have given up for now; i have to get my mental health and autoimmune diseases under control first tbqh#i have a psychiatrist appointment on the 16th which i am terrified regarding but hopefully it goes well 🥲🤞🏻#and i am going to start a new injectable medication for my autoimmune diseases asap#i have to deep clean my house and revamp my reptile enclosures before i commit to a job as well ugh#i have to actually get my shit tf together before i start legitimately looking for a job again is what i’m saying 😂
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wow i hate living with my family as an adult
yknow every damn weekend morning i feel Guilty for walking around in my room because the floor squeaks and it wakes up my brother, but EVERY DAMN NIGHT he hollers at video games, sometimes until TWO OR THREE IN THE MORNING, and i have to go to fucking work about it so. he can just deal with it, i've decided.
#text#personal#whine whine whine#im so fucking tired of trying to show courtesy and having NONE OF IT RETURNED#but im ALREADY the bad guy in the house and according to my bro and dad Everything Is My Fault#so if i stop trying it WILL turn nuclear#but im fucking tired of the hypocrisy and double standards and absolute REFUSAL to compromise and ngl yall#i am absolutely STRUGGLING about it#i cannot take this shit for another year#i know its hormonal hours and thats not helping but ive never had intrusive thoughts in traffic before today 🫠#i hate it here#(video game hollering is Current and Ongoing and im trying to wind down to get up to go to work fucking early. again.)#(and today was the shittiest day ive had in a while and i cannot do it three more times this week but i have to because im training someone
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#woolly rambles#very extremely accidentally managed to spoil my partner's proposal plans this weekend and i couldnt feel any lower 🫠#i very off-handedly guessed a key part of it and i've been kicking myself ever since#he was so disappointed#and like we're fine he's rallied and is going to come up with something else#and has even said he was okay with changing it because hes told a few of our friends#and was thinking of switching to a plan that only he knew#but i still feel like shit about it#it feels like being a kid who accidentally ruined a game you didnt know the rules to and now everyone is upset#and you didnt mean to do it#and wouldnt have done it if you had Known#and you cant blame the other kids for being upset because you did very much ruin the game#i know its all going to be fine and everything will sort itself out#but right now i feel horrible about it#like tearing up at the airport as i type this feel horrible about it#trying to tell myself that big events like weddings always have whoopsie moments like this that feel devastating but actually are fine#and that this blip is just us getting that moment out of the way early#but idk if its working#hoping that spilling my feelings into the tags of a tumblr post will help#also very much may delete this later#i really do suck at the elaborate social rituals
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What if spade queen didn’t have alcohol
Are you asking me if she never had any to begin with? Or if she immediately quit after years of abusing it?
Because I ought to tell you that in the latter case, it leads to a fun little thing called "the DTs" and requires emergency care.
#haz answers things#haz says a thing#spade queen#i'm not sure if i want her to go sober#it's hard to imagine her without that bottle in her hand :/#dang i might have to rewrite some shit#i didn't think i'd be researching this today...#i guess we can't write everything completely realistically#sorry i got to this after like a year#you're probably not even here anymore#whoopsies 🫠#also if this needs a community label just ask nicely
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#had the worst day ever#last week things got a little better but today just destroyed all the progress i made#its so FRUSTRATING#how emotionally unstable i am 🫠#like idek if im just overly sensitive or ive really just been let down over and over again#and like bc of this i KNOW i shouldn’t expect ANYTHING at all not even human decency from others#but i still have hope unfortunately so i get crushed every time something goes wrong (all the time everyday)#today i woke up early to go run some errands and got home late at night#and the whole day i only had one piece of bread and iced tea#and like. i KNOW this is exactly why i feel awful and terrible and everything is shit#which is why its even more frustrating bc i can’t do anything about it when im this depressed rn…#and like . its really annoying that everything is just going so wrong that i give up on it all bc i just can’t deal with anything#i don’t even have my best friend anymore to complain to#i really really reallly can’t do this alone but ig this is how it’ll be for a long time#it’s been like this since early july… honestly i don’t even think things will get any better soon#seeing how even tho i made some progress last week i lost it all now and i will keep losing it over and over again#im going crazy really#and i wish my parents would stop making me feel guilty that im depressed#like genuinely what do you want me to do about it?????#you get annoyed at me when i don’t eat the food you make when u know im insane and paranoid and cannot eat this ive told u a million times#and the worst thing is that they KNOW what i like and eat but they don’t make it ever they keep making the food i can’t eat#like u can’t expect me to go inside the kitchen and make it myself bc i will literally pass out and die#im not kidding when i say this bc so many times i try and i really faint bc of the distress it makes me feel#i feel like this might sound extremely stupid to anyone who hasn’t experienced it but that’s just how it is here#anyway im gonna go to sleep now even tho im probably gonna die of frustration#i don’t think i’ll even wake tomorrow x_x my head feels like it might explode any second now#we have a family gathering tomorrow but im ditching them so ill probably just sleep until tuesday 😀 great#(i say this bc its 7am rn… by tomorrow i mean today but it’s tomorrow in my head bc im still up)
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Guess who fucked up her knee again??? And AT WORK no less
#oh god i hate this. everything about this. like i am crying and screaming and throwing up#GOD girl. honestly i think the worst part was it was almost the end of my shift. it was ~4:05 and i was sipping my water as i do#and i was about to go back to the counter and get back at it and serve the customers that were there. but i must have.. slipped? or twisted#something wrong??? i don’t know. all i know is my knee popped straight out of its socket and i SCREAMED and fell to the fucking ground#my coworker (we’ll call the sheriff) tried to grab me and failed. i just sat there with my head in my hands thinking PLEASE tell me this#didn’t fucking happen. it did though. VERY publicly#i don’t know who summoned them but the retail manager and my ultimate boss wheeled me out 🫠 and the marketing guy drove me to the hospital 🫠#which didn’t have an x-ray because shitty small town hospital 🫠🫠🫠 but we managed to rendezous with my stepdad there#at which point i was handed over to him. at which point i decided ‘fuck the hospital’ because literally they did NOTHING the first time i#dislocated my knee. they didn’t even x-ray it or prescribe me anything!!!! they just hurt me more; told me i’d overextended a ligament#and sent me home to convalesce. so i was like.. i mean i don’t feel like doing that again#i can tell my kneecap is back in the socket because girl i made it upstairs. like. yes it hurts like hell but i don’t think anything#is broken. i DO need to find out why this shit keeps happening to me and what i can do to stop it; but that’s not an a&e situation#that’s a gp or a physio or a fucking knee expert or something#so basically i’m going to stay in my bed with my brace and an ice pack and some entertainment and see what happens to me#i already know this is bad. like. as bad as the first time probably#the second and third times i was able to walk unassisted afterwards. i can’t walk unassisted. so.#basically tomorrow i’m going to call my boss and be like ‘i don’t think i can come in for the rest of the week on account of my knee#is approximately the size of texas and i have officially sprained it badly. but i’ll update you’#i hope i’m wrong. i hope i wake up tomorrow to just like a mild ache and feel STUPID#girl i can’t believe i’m saying this but i want to go to work. i want to work bank holiday sunday PLEEEEEAAAAAASE#i don’t want to limp around my house and cry. recuperating from an injury is the fucking worst WHY must i do it again#so. if you need me i’m going to be eating whatever the hell my mom has prepared (worst part of this is i can’t even cook for myself)#and reading… something. or i might play stardew honestly. or write!! i’ve been wanting to write for so long my god#so that’s my life currently 🙃🙃🙃#personal
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Idk if I will be let go and I'm definitely in a much better position than some of my coworkers but man like. I rly should've gone a different pathway in career cuz rn this is all I can get and I may not even be able to hold that 😭 and I'm so tired of trying dude seriously I hate this shit LMAOO
#if I lose my income to pay for the stupid shit that's keeping me sane then idk what else 😭😭😭#I should've applied to pharmacy school fmllllllllll#truly somehow everything circles back to if I didn't fuck up my undergrad 🫠🫠🫠🫠#I was helping my friend w her letter of interest for her master's application and god I could not do that#also she's soo smart I just know she's going to do amazing things
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Pls don’t tell me you can see a future with me unless you absolutely mean it. Don’t tell me unless you feel that shit in your chest.
#PLEASE#i will take it and RUN w it#to me thats a greenlight to go ahead w my feelings bc like. i want that future w you and you just confirmed you could want it too#and thats the difference#you *could* want it#i already did#im all in w someone as soon as i cant stop checking my phone for you#so PLS#for the love of fucking god dont tell me that gay shit unless you mean it#dont tell me you can see it until you DO#dont tell me you want it until you crave it#AND FUCKING OH MY GOD THE NEXT TIME I TRY SAY I CAN HANDLE SOMETHING CASUAL SOMEONE PLS RUN ME OVER W UR CAR#PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY THERE IS NOTHING IN MY BONES THAT CAN HANDLE CASUAL#i can be hot and say hot things and i will fucking MEAN them#but on the other side im gonna be thinking ab laying in bed w you in my arms and holding your hands and playing w your fingers 😫#i was so fucking downbad oh my god#i wanted to rub ur back when it hurt and keep you safe from the scaries. i wanted to feel safe for you 🥺#and like i still want that and i will be friends bc i really fucking like you and who you have shown me you are as a person#but just know if i was ever given the opportunity i’d absolutely try to sweet you off your feet and give you everything you deserve and more#🥺🫠🫠#i fucking hate it#this is queued#so if you see it ignore it. i just had to get it out bc goddamn. this hurts way more than it should. and i fucking hate that ab myself#dw im actively tryna switch my mindset 🤪 maybe im cured by the time this posts (i wont be)#idk if i’ll ever get over you man. you’re something special#:/#mine#thoughts and rambles
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#the heat index is 101F and our ac has been broken for the past three weeks at work#I worked an 8 hour shift I’m exhuasted + I’m sure I have heat exhaustion (again 🙃)#and like my cheap asshole father comes to pick me up with no ac on in the car 🫠#he argues all the goddamn time that the ac uses up so much gas and that wastes money and okay whatever that’s stupid#like do you want me to just fucking pass out in the passenger seat?#and he’s mad at me cause I may have snapped#but like again 101F outside no ac at work and I’ve had heat exhaustion every day for the past three fucking weeks#it’s literally a two minute drive home#but yeah I’m not worth two mins of ac#he has been extra nasty and having extra attitude and I’m fucking done#when I’m home I literally don’t leave my room anymore#dad’s also treating mom like shit which is like#I have issues with her too but idk what his fucking problem is anymore#and then she makes her problems everyone’s problems#so they’re acting like I need to fix how they treat each other#they should’ve got fucking divorced years ago#I keep telling them to go to fucking marriage counseling or something but nope#the thing is despite being shitty they are both still my parents and it is hard to hear them talk about each other that way#hence why I’m like begging them to either divorce or get counseling#but nah then they just turn it back on me and I’m terrible cause I don’t want to help them work through their problems 🫠#sometimes I think they literally had a kid so they could just blame everything wrong with them/their lives on me#I leave for vacation in like a week-ish and oh boy I cannot tell you how relieved I am to be getting away from them for a bit#I’m sure it’ll be a shit show when I get back but that’s a problem for later me#I just need a fucking break from the shit I put up with at work and the shit I put up with at home
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so.... my mom lost her job (the company has fired almost everyone. basically is Dying rn due to a poor financial decision), i'm sick, computerless (how the hell im gonna continue studying or developing a portfolio??), and my dance teacher called me to let me know that some girl's talking shit about me (and about her, my teacher) behind my back for no reason 🫥 other stuff's been going on too but basically its like. yeah. we are soo back
#im always being talked about by at least someone (1) no matter where i go. the only thing i do is stand my ground instead of falling on#their toxic patterns 👹#my teacher is gonna expel her bc shes been stirring shit in general and well.. theres been some problems the whole year#caused by a couple of others. she called and explained everything bc she values me and i told her to go ahead and do whatever feels right.#girls be 20 something acting like 10.. crazy#and my mum. well— i believe in her wholeheartedly#shes getting old but i know how hard she will look for another job and i know she will get it#at least i have to think that way bc we will be struggling for a bit.....#so yeah ofc the dance thing is anecdotical bc i started dancing again after many years only as#a way to have fun and disconnect.. like therapy. im not about to get drained bc of it#when i have so much other stuff to invest my energy on and worry about#but well. a silly little synopsis of wtf is going on 🫠
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#HOLY SHIT????#WHAT CAN'T SHE DO? SHE'S TOO POWERFUL...#kinda want the crowd to shut up so i can hear better kinda understand bc i too would be losing it#i already love & respect her Youtube Takes (go check out her video essays if you haven't already!!) and now this!!!!!#she's so skilled!! the CONTROL needed for this holy fuck what a flex! what a delight! 🤌🤌🤌🤌#video#.....wait i'm not done the OUTFIT. her hair & those BOOTS!!! on top of everything else. where's the nearest fainting couch??? 📍📍📍📍📍🫠
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