#girls be 20 something acting like 10.. crazy

[poseida]

so.... my mom lost her job (the company has fired almost everyone. basically is Dying rn due to a poor financial decision), i'm sick, computerless (how the hell im gonna continue studying or developing a portfolio??), and my dance teacher called me to let me know that some girl's talking shit about me (and about her, my teacher) behind my back for no reason 🫥 other stuff's been going on too but basically its like. yeah. we are soo back

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

Family Of Four

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader

Warnings: none

Being a young mother of two small children, one of whom is 3 months and the other 4 years old, is something no one could have prepared you for. You knew from the beginning that it wasn't going to be easy since Lando couldn't always be there to help you with the two of them, but sometimes you thought you were gonna lose your mind.

Phoebe was 4 years old, the spitting image of her dad. She was a little lady with big brown curls and sassy attitude who always stole everyone's hearts with her personality. On the other hand, Kian was only 3 months old, usually a very calm little baby boy who was a perfect mix of both you and Lando.

This was one of those days when you wanted to jump out of your own skin. One of those days when you didn't know what to do first, who to take first, who to comfort first. Both kids were screaming crying, Phoebe because she was hungry, even though she refused to eat 20 minutes before when you asked her, and Kian because he had stomach cramps that were very painful.

While Phoebe was throwing a tantrum and rolling on the floor screaming, Kian was crying so hard that you almost cried too because you didn't know how to help him anymore. You were going crazy while waiting for Lando to come back from work duties.

Days like this didn't happen often, but when they did, you felt like you were failing as a mother. Deep down you knew it wasn't true, but you just couldn't understand how a pregnant Nara Smith manages to literally produce cereal for her children's breakfast, yet here you are, not even able to calm your two children by yourself.

"It's okay, it's okay baby boy, please stop crying" You despaired, talking softly, rubbing Kian's back and walking around the living room with him. "Phoebe, get up from the floor right now!"

"I'm hungry!"

"Can you just wait 5 more minutes until your brother stops crying? Can you please do that for me?"

"No, I want daddy!" She yelled which startled Kian and made him cry even more.

"Oh my God.." You were on the verge of a breakdown. "Shh, baby, it's okay..shh"

Thankfully, minutes after she screamed for her dad, Lando walked through the front door.

"Guys, what is going on here?" He asked taking off his jacket looking at the chaotic scene in front of him.

"Please, do something" Your voice trembled, the tears already formed in your eyes threatening to spill out.

"Baby, what's going on? Are you okay?" He approached you putting one hand on your cheek and the other on Kian's back.

"No" You shook your head. "I'm going to the bedroom to try to calm him down. Phoebe's hungry because she didn't wanna eat 20 minutes ago when I begged her to. Now she's screaming for no reason."

"I'll deal with her, don't worry, okay?" He said kissing your cheek before you left with Kian in your arms.

"Pheebs, get up, c'mon" Lando said gently pulling her up by her arm.

"Daddy" She cried with no tears.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asked lifting her up in his arms and brushing her hair from her sweat-sticky face.

"I'm hungry"

"Okay, but have you ever been hungry for more than 10 minutes before you got to eat?" He asked walking to the kitchen with her and sitting her down on the kitchen island. "Have you?"

"No.." She said quietly sniffling and looking down at her hands.

"Baby, look at me" Lando gently lifts her chin up with his finger "You're a big sister now, and big sisters don't act this way. If your brother is crying because he's in pain, you need to be patient. No one's gonna forget about you, but you need to help mommy, and you screaming while she's trying to calm him down is not helpful at all."

Phoebe stayed silent looking at Lando with sad puppy eyes before asking "Do you l-love baby brother more than me?"

Pheebs was daddy's girl from day one. She was his first one. His everything and more. She had him completely wrapped around her finger and he knew it, but he loved it.

Since he was away a lot, he couldn't spend as much time as he wanted with his kids so he was always very lenient with them. Especially with Pheebs because she was older. She always got what she wanted and Lando was always very happy to fulfill her every wish.

He could never say no to her. How could he say no when every time when Lando goes on a race, she calls him on a video call to say "I miss you daddy, you're going to win tomorrow because you're the best" It makes his heart melt every time.

"Baby, mommy and I love you and your brother equally. There's no way we love one more than the other, okay?" He said cupping her cheeks. "But you're always gonna be daddy's little girl, yeah? My tiny princess" He starts tickling her showering kisses all over her face making her giggle.

"Will my princess eat now so we can go get ready for bed?" He asked to which she quickly agreed nodding her head.

After dinner, Lando helped her brush her teeth, put on her pyjamas and put her to bed.

"I love you, daddy." She stretched out her arms for one more hug before Lando got up and left her room.

"I love you too, darling. Good night."

Once he was done with Phoebe, he went to see where you and Kian were.

"Y/n?" He said quietly entering your bedroom with dimmed lights. You were lying on the bed next to Kian who was finally asleep. "Are you sleeping?"

"No" You answered quietly as he sat down next the two of you.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He asked noticing that your eyes were red from crying. "Come here" Opening his arms, he pulls you to himself.

"I'm so tired, Lan" You sob quietly into his chest. It was all just too much for you. You didn't have any time for yourself. You were with two little kids 24/7 and you just felt like you were losing yourself. "I feel like I'm losing my mind. He's still having cramps and it hurts me to see him in pain. And I feel like I'm neglecting Phoebe like I'm not giving her enough attention since he came and-"

"Y/n, baby, stop. I don't wanna hear you being hard on yourself. They're kids, they have their good and bad days. It doesn't mean we're failing as parents if they're having a bad day. You're the best, most loving and caring mom ever, but you need a break. Let me please find someone to help you out with them when I'm not home."

"No, I can take care of my own kids when you're not home" You were being stubborn. You were refusing to get a nanny even though you knew you needed it when Lando was away because both your and Lando's parents were not living in Monaco so they couldn't be there when you needed them.

"I know you can, but I need you to be okay above everything else." He says leaving a kiss on your head that was still resting on his chest.

"I know, I'm sorry, it's been such a hard day and I missed you so much"

"Shh, I've got you, baby."

Later that night, when both kids were fast asleep, Lando and you finally had some time for yourselves. Both of you were in the living room on the couch in front of the TV. You were half asleep with your head in Lando's lap as he played with your hair and watched some TV show.

He smiled softly when he noticed you fell asleep. He didn't want to disturb you, but he wanted to cuddle you so he pulled you up closer to him. You laid your head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead whispering how much he loves you and how much he's proud of you.

[rikashmoonsword]

what makes me like Jonathan and Alanna's relationship/friendship so much is just the fact that they're peers.

There's a lot to be said about our beloved Tammy and her penchant for deeply questionable age gaps, but I won't say them because despite everything my ideal of love remains daine/numair and thus I can't criticise them to save my life. but to Alanna, all of her loves are older than her. George is 17 to Alanna'a 10, Liam is 34 to Alanna's 19/20, Jon is 18 when Alanna is 14.

George is a teacher as much as a friend, he teaches her to pick locks, wrestle, use a knife, pick pockets, how to walk among thieves and keep her purse on her and how to know who to trust and who not to. He shows her unselfish love, he shows her how gentlemen treat their ladies, he treats her like a friend and like the most beautiful woman alive. George is a Teacher.

Liam teaches her how to hold her own without a weapon in her hands, shows her how nice it is to flirt and flit without sneaking about. He also teaches her to never sever a part of herself to suit a man, and that love is important but if the love isn't for all of you it isn't love at all.

and then she's home with Jon. Jon who she couldn't look into the eyes of as a page but who she would chase him to the realm of the black god if she had to, Jon who fought Gary to get her as a squire, Jon who held her when she was afraid and who was the first one to show her love.

Jon who acts like a child when things don't go his way, who would flirt with a crazy girl to get on her bad side, who has a temper that can rival her own.

When Alanna is with Jon, she isn't with a teacher, he isn't older and smarter, he's as young and foolish as her. he rages and throws fits and apologises sloppily and he loves her just as much as she loves him.

Jon is never truly something bigger than himself with Alanna, because she was the one who saved his life from his cousin, because he is the one who dragged her into a death trap of old gods and survived, because she is the one he disregarded direct orders to save from tusaine, because they're best friends more than anything else in this world and not even screaming matches and world ending spats can break them.

That's why i love them so much, because they're peers, and that friendship makes them stronger than any other champion and king in history.

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[10:13 pm]

(POOKIE PROPAGANDA!!! Anyway,, cw: this is mostly humor, with a weird smidge of angst)

Situationship!Jaehyun wishes he could focus on the show playing on his laptop. He was in the perfect position to lay back and relax after a long week. He was under his warmest blanket, laying in bed, and had you laying right beside him. He was big spoon as was his usual position when it came to cuddling. However, he wishes he could just put a stop to the constant repetition of the same song playing over and over again kissin’ I hope they caught us, kissin’ I hope they caught us. It was getting on his last nerve. That song paired with your excited giggles were driving him crazy knowing that it was some type of edit. You shouldn’t be looking at anyone else while cuddling with him!

He tried to peek over your shoulder, his show no longer keeping his interest while his curiosity (jealousy) was gnawing at his brain, but you were so curled in on yourself and covered with blankets that he couldn’t see anything. “I’m noticing that the edits are changing,” he heard a man say before Agora Hills started up again. He could confidently say that about 20 minutes ago he had nothing against Doja Cat, but now he could say he hated her. He had nothing against her beside the fact that her song was driving him up the wall.

And really he should have been grateful, the song was better than hearing the guy talk for a whole minute flirting at the camera, ugh how cringe. “Pookie” this and “Pookie” that and “Pookie, Pookie, Pookeh!” Jaehyun had had enough. He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you impossibly closer, “What are you watching baby?”

You hummed before giggling at the video playing on your phone, “my husband.”

Jaehyun froze, his blood ran cold, he tightened his hold, “Who?”

You turned to face Jaehyun slightly, revealing a guy sitting in his car talking to his phone like a total loser, “Big Pookie.”

“Why are you saying all these names like I’m supposed to know who it is?”

“You don’t know Girl Dinner? Pray Pray?” You asked, Jaehyun shook his head, “God, I forget your for you page is aggressively male. You don’t know Prayag?”

“Why would I know him?”

“Because he’s an icon. Here, you have to have seen this,” you reply before pulling up a video where “Big Pookie” waves his hands and shakes his shoulders.

Jaehyun scoffs with an eye roll, “I can do that,” before he sits up and starts doing the most horrendous shimmy and pointing you have ever seen. He smirks, clearly thinking he’s just done something to drive you wild with lust, “does that make you want on your real man now?”

Your mouth closes to a flat line, “You’re not my anything.”

Then you turn over to face away from him again. He quickly turns you around to face him before the man in his car can recapture your attention. “Why would you be laying in my bed if we weren’t anything?”

You shrug, avoiding his gaze with a sudden shyness, “You never liked it when I called you my boyfriend before. You just ask me to come over and do all these relationship things without the commitment and I go along because I like you. I don’t want to lose you so I just go along.”

Jaehyun can feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach, “I’m sorry I ever made you feel like that. I should have made my feelings more clear. I was an ass when we first started seeing each other, but if I’m being honest I thought that we’d been official for at least 3 months.”

Your jaw drops yet again, “When did you act any differently?”

“I thought me cooking your favorite meal over a candlelit dinner when I gave you that necklace was the turning point,” Jaehyun replies, playing with the chain around your neck with a very poorly concealed smirk.

You bury your face in his chest and groan out of embarrassment, “I could have been calling you my boyfriend this whole time!”

“Glad we cleared that up, can we watch the show again?” Jaehyun asks, saving you from more embarrassment.

You quickly roll over, facing the screen and Jaehyun feels a sense of ease and calm. Finally, he can relax. Until a few mainutes later when he hears your gasp and “Pookie, I don’t know whose hair this is.”

[itzyxnct]

Kinktober Day 10 (🔞)

Ryujin × Wendy - Hey Beautiful

When they met a few weeks prior at a music show neither of them had imagined they'd end up like this

Every time they were on a show together they couldn't help but look for eachother, sneaking around backstage for some alone time before they had to go back to their own groups and act like nothing had just happened but that was pretty hard to do when Wendy had just given Ryujin the best orgasm of her life

20 minutes earlier Ryujin was wandering through the corridor on her way to make-up, secretly hoping she's bump into the older girl that she was quickly falling for, as she was walking distracted by her thoughts a hand sprung out of a random door quickly pulling her inside as she let out a shocked yelp

"Hey beautiful I've missed you" Wendy said quickly kissing the blonde who frowned at her still clutching her chest "don't do that you scared me"

Wendy just giggled apologising for scaring her and wrapping her arms around the girls smaller frame and pulling her close treasuring this moment before it slipped away knowing they didn't have much time

Ryujin initiated this kiss licking along Wendy's lips asking for entrance as Wendy maneuvered them around so they were now sitting down on a fold out chair in the cramped cleaning closet, Ryujin straddling Wendy's thighs as she explored the inside of her mouth before letting her hands wander inside her blouse

Wendy wasted no time taking advantage of the position Ryujin was in, her legs spread wide, the song skinnof her thighs touching her own was enough to drive her crazy feeling the heat radiating from their bodies Wendy teasingly trailed her hand up Ryujin's thigh

"Babeeee we don't have time for that, come on" Ryujin whined out and she had a point they had 10 minutes until someone was bound to come looking for them so Wendy continued her previous task speeding up slightly want to make sure she made Ryujin feel good

She slipped her hand inside Ryujin's shorts mentally thanking her stylist for making them so easily accessible, her skilled fingers swiping through the younger girls folds as she tried her hardest to hold back moans , biting her lip as Wendy's fingers entered her pussy, clenching down, instantly gripping her 2 fingers while her thumb stimulated her clit

Ryujin couldn't help but let out a few whines and start grinding her hips helping Wendy's fingers go further inside her, Wendy then latched on to Ryujin's neck sucking, nipping and biting all while trying to make sure she didn't leave a mark but at this point Ryujin was too far gone to care if she did , her head rolling back in ecstasy as Wendy looked and her in amazing watching the way she rode out her high in her hand before tiredly slumping forward onto Wendy's chest, who just soothingly rubbed her back

Just as they were about to get up to start tidying themselves up there was a knock on the door

It was Yeji

"Ryujin I know you're in there .....the makeup artist needs you like right now" there was a few seconds of silence before the leader spoke up again and with a mischievous tone of voice said "and tell Wendy I say hi"

At this both the girls looked at eachother in shock before quickly smoothing out their clothes and opening the door meeting a smirking Yeji who just pulled Ryujin away by her arm leaving Wendy stood there wondering how that just happened watching as the girl she liked was being pulled away smiling as Ryujin clumsily tripped over her own feet

When they were far enough away Ryujin asked Yeji "how did you know?"

"What? That something was going on between you and Wendy? I'm surprised everyone doesn't know from the way your face lit up every time we seen her perform on the screens in our green room.....also ...you're not exactly um quiet"

Ryujin flushed a light pink before softly slapping the older girl on the arm before saying " shut up .....but seriously thank you for not being mad"

This made Yeji chuckle a bit leaving Ryujin confused before Yeji spoke up again " how could I be mad when me and Seulgi have been doing the same thing for months" with that confession she quickly sprinted off leaving Ryujin there mouth wide open looking like she'd seen a ghost

[matttgirlies]

Matt & Me 🎀

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

a story heavily based on Priscilla Presley’s Book “Elvis & Me” based in the 1950’s - 1970’s.

fem! reader x singer! matt

disclaimer!! - in no way am i saying matt would ever support or do these kind of things, for the sake of the book certain unethical things do happen at times.

warnings - age gap,, i think thats all

all of the songs and celebrities mentioned in here are from the time periods this was written if you are confused🩷

Chapter 1

It was 1956. I was living with my family at the Bergstrom Air Force Base in Austin, Texas, where my father, then Captain, Joseph Paul y/ln, a career officer, was stationed. He came home late for dinner one evening and handed me a record album.

“I don’t know what this Matt guy is all about,” he said, “but he must be something special. I stood in line with half the Air Force at the PX to get this for you; everybody wants it.”

I put the record on the hi-fi and heard the rocking music of “Blue Suede Shoes.” The album was titled Matt Sturniolo. It was his first.

Like almost every other kid in America, I liked Matt but not as fanatically as many of my girl friends at Del Valley Junior High. They all had Matt T-shirts and Matt hats and Matt socks and even lipstick in colors with names like Hound Dog Orange and Heartbreak Pink referencing names of his songs. Matt was everywhere, on bubblegum cards and Bermuda shorts, on diaries and wallets and pictures that glowed in the dark. The boys at school began trying to look like him, with their fluffy hair and turned up collars.

One girl was so crazy about him that she was running his local fan club. She said I could join for twenty-five cents, the price of a book she’d ordered for me by mail. When I received it, I was shocked to see a picture of Matt signing the bare chests of a couple of girls, at that time an unheard-of act.

Then I saw him on television on Jimmy and Tommy Dorsey’s Stage Show. He was sexy and handsome, with his deep brooding eyes, pouty lips, and crooked smile. He strutted out to the microphone, spread his legs, leaned back, and strummed his guitar. Then he began singing with such confidence, moving his body with unbridled sexuality. Despite myself, I was attracted.

Some members of his adult audience were less enthusiastic. Soon his performances were labeled obscene. My mother stated emphatically that he was “a bad influence for teenage girls. He arouses things in them that shouldn’t be aroused. If there’s ever a mothers’ march against Matt Sturniolo, I’ll be the first in line.”

But I’d heard that despite all of his stage antics and lustful, tough-guy looks, Matt came from a strict Southern Christian background. He was a country boy who didn’t smoke or drink, who loved and honored his parents, and who addressed all adults as “sir” or “ma’am.”

I was an Air Force child, a shy, pretty little girl, unhappily accustomed to moving from base to base every two or three years. By the time I was eleven, I had lived in six different cities and, fearful of not being accepted, I either kept to myself or waited for someone to befriend me. I found it especially difficult entering a new school in the middle of the year, when cliques had already been established and newcomers were considered outsiders.

Small and petite, with long y/hc hair, y/ec eyes, and an upturned nose, I was always stared at by the other students. At first girls would see me as a rival, afraid I’d take their boyfriends away. I seemed to feel more comfortable with boys—and they were usually friendlier.

People always said I was the prettiest girl in school, but I never felt that way. I was skinny, practically scrawny, and even if I was as cute, as people said, I wanted to have more than just good looks. Only with my family did I really feel totally protected and loved. Close and supportive, they provided my stability.

A photographer’s model before her marriage, my mother was totally devoted to her family. As the oldest, it was my responsibility to help her with the kids. After me, there were Don, four years younger, and Michelle, my only sister, who was five years younger than Don. Jeff and the twins, Tim and Tom, hadn’t yet been born.

My mother was too shy to talk about the facts of life, so my sex education came in school, when I was in the sixth grade. Some kids were passing around a book that looked like the Bible from the outside, but when you opened it, there were pictures of men making love to women, and women making love to each other.

My body was changing and stirring with new feelings. I’d gotten looks from boys at school, and once a picture of me in a tight turtleneck sweater was stolen from the school bulletin board. Yet I was still a child, embarrassed about my own sexuality. I fantasized endlessly about French-kissing, but when my friends who hung around our house played spin the bottle, it would take me half an hour to let a boy kiss my pursed lips.

My strong, handsome father was the center of our world. He was a hard worker who had earned his degree in Business Administration at University of Texas. At home he ran a tight ship. He was a firm believer in discipline and responsibility, and he and I frequently knocked heads. When I became a cheerleader at thirteen, it was all I could do to convince him to let me go to out-of-town games. Other times no amount of crying, pleading, or appealing to my mother would change his mind. When he laid down the law, that was that.

I managed to get around him occasionally. When he refused to let me wear a tight skirt, I joined the Girl Scouts specifically so I could wear their tight uniform.

My parents were survivors. Although they often had to struggle financially, we children were the last to feel it. When I was a little girl my mother sewed pretty tablecloths to cover the orange crates that we used as end tables. Rather than do without, we made the best of what we had.

Dinner was strictly group participation: Mother cooked, one of us set the table, and the rest cleaned up. Nobody got away with anything, but we were very supportive of one another. I felt fortunate to have a close-knit family.

Going through old albums of family photographs showing my parents when they were young fascinated me. I was curious about the past. World War II intrigued me, especially since my father had fought with the Marines on Okinawa. He looked handsome in his uniform—you could tell he was posing for my mother—but somehow his smile looked out of place, especially when you realized where he was. When I read the note on the back of the picture about how much he missed my mother, my eyes filled with tears.

While rummaging through the family keepsakes I came upon a small wooden box. Inside was a carefully folded American flag, the kind that I knew was given to servicemen’s widows. Also inside the box was a picture of my mother with her arm around a strange man and, sitting on her lap, an infant. On the back of the photo was inscribed “Mommy, Daddy, y/n.” I had discovered a family secret.

Feeling betrayed, I ran to phone my mother, who was at a party nearby. Within minutes I was in her arms, crying as she calmed me and explained that when I was six months old, my real father, Lieutenant James Wagner, a handsome Navy pilot, had been killed in a plane crash while returning home on leave. Two and a half years later, she married Paul y/ln, who adopted me and had always loved me as his own.

Mother suggested I keep my discovery from the other children. She felt it would endanger our family closeness, though when it did become known, it had no effect on our feelings for one another. She gave me a gold locket that my father had given her. I cherished that locket and wore it for years and fantasized that my father died a great hero. In times of emotional pain and loneliness he would become my guardian angel.

By the end of the year, I’d been nominated to run for Queen of Del Valley Junior High. This was my first taste of politics and competition and it was especially trying because I was running against Millie Collins, my best friend.

We each had a campaign manager introducing us as we went from house to house knocking on doors. My manager tried to talk each person into voting for me and donating a penny or more per vote to a school fund. The nominee who collected the most money won. I was sure that this competition would jeopardize my friendship with Millie, which was more important to me than winning. I considered quitting but felt I couldn’t let my parents or my supporters down. While my mother was out looking for a dress for me to wear to the coronation, my dad kept reminding me to memorize an acceptance speech. I kept putting it off, certain I was going to lose.

It was the last day of the campaign, and a rumor began circulating that Millie’s grandparents had put in a hundred-dollar bill for their vote. My parents were disappointed; there was no way that they could afford to match that much money and even if they could, they objected on principle.

The night they announced the winner, I was all dressed up in a new turquoise blue, strapless tulle net formal that itched so badly I couldn’t wait to take it off. I sat beside Millie on the dais in the large school auditorium. I could see my parents with happy, confident looks on their faces though I was sure they were going to be disheartened. Then the principal walked up to the podium.

“And now,” she said, hesitating to heighten the suspense, “is the moment you’ve all been waiting for  . . . the culmination of a month of campaigning by our two lovely contestants: y/n y/ln  . . .” All eyes turned toward me. I blushed and glanced at Millie. “ . . . and Millie Collins.” Our eyes locked for a brief, tense moment.

“The new Queen of Del Valley Junior High is  . . .” A drum roll sounded. “ . . . y/n y/ln.”

The audience applauded wildly. I was in shock. Called up to the stage to give my speech, I had none. Sure that I was going to lose, I’d never even bothered to write one. I walked, trembling, to the podium, then looked out at the crowded auditorium. All I could see was my father’s face, growing more disappointed as he realized I had nothing to say. When I finally spoke, it was to apologize.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m not prepared to give a speech, as I did not expect to win. But thank you very much for voting for me. I’ll do my very best.” And then, looking at my father, I added, “I’m sorry, Dad.”

I was surprised as the audience graciously applauded, but I still had to face my father and hear him say, “I told you so.”

Being elected Queen was a bittersweet victory, because the closeness that Millie and I once shared was restrained. Still, to me that crown symbolized a wonderful, unfamiliar feeling: acceptance.

My newfound tranquility ended abruptly when my father announced that he was being transferred to Wiesbaden, West Germany.

I was crushed. Germany was the other side of the world. All my fears returned. My first thought was, What am I going to do about my friends? I turned to my mother, who was sympathetic and reminded me that we were in the Air Force and moving was an unavoidable part of our lives.

I finished junior high school, my mother gave birth to baby Jeff, and we said our goodbyes to neighbors and good friends. Everyone promised to write or call, but remembering past promises I knew better. My friend Stephanie jokingly told me that Matt Sturniolo was stationed in Bad Neuheim, West Germany. “Do you believe it? You’re going to be in the same country as Matt Sturniolo,” she said. We looked at a map and found that Bad Neuheim was close to Wiesbaden. I said back, “I’m going over there to meet Matt.” We both laughed, hugged each other, and said goodbye.

West Germany

The fifteen-hour flight to West Germany seemed interminable, but finally we arrived in the beautiful old city of Wiesbaden, headquarters of the U.S. Air Force in Europe. There we checked into the Helene Hotel, a massive and venerable building on the main thoroughfare. After three months, hotel living became too expensive and we began looking for a place to rent.

We felt lucky to find a large apartment in a vintage building constructed long before World War I. Soon after we moved in, we noticed that all the other apartments were rented to single girls. These Fräuleins walked around all day long in robes and negligees, and at night they were dressed to kill. Once we learned a little German, we realized that, although the pension was very discreet, we were living in a brothel.

Moving was out of the question—housing was too scarce—but the location did little to help me to adjust. Not only was I isolated from other American families, but there was the language barrier. I was accustomed to changing schools frequently, but a foreign country posed altogether new problems, principally that I couldn’t share my thoughts. I began to feel that my life had stopped dead in its tracks.

September came and with it, school. Once again I was the new girl. I was no longer popular and secure as I’d been at Del.

There was a place called the Eagles Club, where American service families went for dinner and entertainment. It was within walking distance of the pension and soon proved an important discovery for me. Every day after school, I’d go to the snack bar there and listen to the jukebox and write letters to my friends back home in Austin, telling them how much I missed them. Drowning in tears, I’d spend my weekly allowance playing the songs that were very popular back in the States—Frankie Avalon’s “Venus” and the Everly Brothers’ “All I Have to Do Is Dream.”

One warm summer afternoon, I was sitting with my brother Don when I noticed a handsome man in his twenties staring at me. I’d seen him watching me before, but I’d never paid any attention to him. This time, he stood up and walked toward me. He introduced himself as Steven Wright and asked my name.

“y/n y/ln,” I said, immediately suspicious; he was much older than me.

He asked where in the States I came from, how I liked Germany, and if I liked Matt Sturniolo.

“Of course,” I said, laughing. “Who doesn’t?”

“I’m a good friend of his. My wife and I go to his house quite often. How would you like to join us one evening?”

Unprepared for such an extraordinary invitation, I grew even more skeptical and guarded. I told him I’d have to ask my parents. Over the course of the next two weeks, Steven met my parents and my father checked out his credentials. Steven was also in the Air Force and it turned out that my father knew his commanding officer. That seemed to break the ice between them. Steven assured Dad that I’d be well chaperoned when we visited Matt, who lived off base in a house in Bad Nauheim.

On the appointed night I tore through my closet, trying to find an appropriate outfit. Nothing seemed dressy enough for meeting Matt Sturniolo. I settled on a navy and white sailor dress and white socks and shoes. Surveying myself in the mirror, I thought I looked cute, but being only fourteen, I didn’t think I’d make any kind of impression on Matt.

Eight o’clock finally arrived, and so did Steven Wright and his attractive wife, Carole. Anxious, I hardly spoke to either of them during the forty-five-minute drive. We entered the small town of Bad Nauheim, with its narrow cobblestone streets and plain, old-fashioned houses, and I kept looking around for what I assumed would be Matt’s huge mansion. Instead Steven pulled up to an ordinary-looking three-story house surrounded by a white picket fence.

There was a sign on the gate in German, which translated as: autographs between 7:00 and 8:00 p.m. only. Even though it was after eight o’clock, a large group of friendly German girls waited around expectantly. When I asked Steven about them, he explained that there were always large groups of fans outside the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Matt.

I followed Steven through the gate and up the short pathway to the door. We were welcomed by James Sturniolo, Matt’s father, a tall, gray-haired, attractive man, who led us down a long hallway to the living room, from which I could hear Brenda Lee on the record player, singing “Sweet Nothin’s.”

The plain, almost drab living room was filled with people, but I spotted Matt immediately. He was handsomer than he appeared in films, younger and more vulnerable-looking with his haircut. He was in civilian clothes, a bright red sweater and tan slacks, and he was sitting with one leg swung over the arm of a large overstuffed chair, with a cigar dangling from his lips.

As Steven led me over to him, Matt stood up and smiled. “Well,” he said. “What have we here?”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I just kept staring at him.

“Matt,” Steven said, “this is y/n y/ln. The girl I told you about.”

We shook hands and he said, “Hi, I’m Matt Sturniolo,” but then there was a silence between us until Matt asked me to sit down beside him, and Steven drifted off.

“So,” Matt said. “Do you go to school?”

“Yes.”

“What are you, about a junior or senior in high school?”

I blushed and said nothing, not willing to reveal that I was only in the ninth grade.

“Well,” he persisted.

“Ninth.”

Matt looked confused. “Ninth what?”

“Grade,” I whispered.

“Ninth grade,” he said and started laughing. “Why, you’re just a baby.”

“Thanks,” I said curtly. Not even Matt Sturniolo had the right to say that to me.

“Well. Seems the little girl has spunk,” he said, laughing again, amused by my response. He gave me that charming smile of his, and all my resentment just melted away.

We made small talk for a while longer. Then Matt got up and walked over to the piano and sat down. The room suddenly grew silent. Everyone’s eyes were focused on him as he began to entertain us.

He sang “Rags to Riches” and “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” and then with his friends singing harmony, “End of the Rainbow.” He also did a Jerry Lee Lewis impersonation, pounding the keys so hard that a glass of water he’d set on the piano began sliding off. When Matt caught it without missing a beat of the song, everyone laughed and applauded except me. I was nervous. I glanced around the room and saw an intimidating life-size poster of a half-nude model on the wall. She was the last person I wanted to see, with her fulsome body, pouting lips, and wild mane of tousled hair. Imagining Matt’s taste in women, I felt very young and out of place.

I glanced up and saw Matt trying to get my attention. I noticed that the less response I showed, the more he began singing just for me. I couldn’t believe that Matt Sturniolo was trying to impress me.

Later, he asked me to come into the kitchen, where he introduced me to his grandmother, Minnie Mae Sturniolo, who stood by the stove, frying a huge pan of bacon. As we sat down at the table, I told Matt I wasn’t hungry. Actually I was too nervous to eat.

“You’re the first girl I’ve met from the States in a long time,” Matt said, as he began devouring the first of five gigantic bacon sandwiches, each one smothered with mustard. “Who are the kids listening to?”

I laughed. “Are you kidding?” I said. “Everyone listens to you.”

Matt seemed unconvinced. He asked me a lot of questions about Fabian and Ricky Nelson. He told me he was worried about how his fans would accept him when he returned to the States. Since he’d been away, he hadn’t made any public appearances or movies, although he’d had five hit singles, all recorded before he’d left.

It felt like we’d just begun talking when Steven came in and pointed to his watch. I had dreaded that moment; the evening had gone so fast. It seemed I had just arrived and now I was being hurried away. Matt and I had just started to get to know each other. I felt like Cinderella, knowing that when my curfew came, all this magic would end. I was surprised when Matt asked Steven if I could possibly stay longer. When Steven explained the agreement with my father, Matt casually suggested that maybe I could come by again. Though I wanted to more than anything in the world, I didn’t really believe it would happen.

a/n - thoughts on this story so far? all the fashion and technology and things is still based in the time period its set in but i promise it gets better as the story goes on! i know the age gap is crazy but back in the day it was normal and its the age gap in Priscilla’s book so i just stuck with it. I in no way support this at all🎀

Excerpt from: "Elvis and Me" by Priscilla Beaulieu Presley. Scribd.

This material may be protected by copyright.

[thatflatenedfrogontheroad]

I made a tier list...

please make your own!! I need to see boomer nations opinions on our man!!!! I know the tiers are actually so vile so change them if you desire :)))

OK so my quick blurb on why they are their!! (working worst to best)

28. Identity Crisis #5 - HE WOULD KILL ME FOR THE FUN OF IT. It did bring about the most random rivalry between Tim drake’s fandom and boomer's which is very funny

27. Black Lantern - Oh no… he's back… like a boomerang. Ate his own son... RIP…. L skill issue

26. Sliver Age - Would actually call me a slur and say that I don't deserve rights. He would hate crime me and then solicit me for sex. He looks like he's wearing a dress… what a pretty lady.

25. Flash TV Show - EWWWWWWWW, he though he ate...

24. DC Online - He looks like he would punch me in face at a NYC bus stop

23. White Lantern - Don't look at me like that… stop. He's back from the dead like a boomerang?? Something about most of the New 52 boomerangs don't hit the same. the bride all in white :’)

22. Young Justice - Gave me the ick. You might be thinking... he looks identical to SS hell to pay, why is he down here?? Great question… HE WAS SO CREEPY TO ONE OF THE GIRLS IN YOUNG JUSTICE….. WHO IS A MINOR!

21. Injustice Movie - Just because your in the background… doesn't save you from this list!!!

20. New 52 - Ok he's kinda hot if you look through your peripherals…Why are you wearing skinny jeans… you millennial

19. Harley Quinn TV Show - He's fine… just fine. “We’ll stack out bingo… Boomer loves an older woman” NO HE MUST LOVE ME! I AM VERY VERY MATURE FOR MY AGE

18. Flash: Sins of the Father - Can you please stop talking in the 3rd person… you are starting to sound crazy.

17. Most Wanted - I know jack shit about him. That's probably because he is barely in a comic issues THATS NAMED AFTER HIM!

16. Flash Point Paradox - His fight scene actually ate. I'm a sucker for Boomer being with the Rogues. If cyborg can take his belt off… so can I

15. Suicide Squad 2021 - Wow they somehow gave him even less lines than his first movie. 1. He doesnt look like boomer. 2. His accent is so bad… and hes AUSTRALIAN 3. His acting low key kinda mid 4. They killed off two of the only OG suicide squad members they had on the cast 5. He dies in the first 20min and in the most disrespectful way

14. Suicide Squad 2016 - The only good thing to come from this man is the fanfiction he brought. THIS FUCKING MOVIE MADE HIM A CANON BRONY WHICH I CAN NOT FORGIVE. GET THIS OUT OF MY SMUT BEFORE FREAK THE FUCK OUT >:( Fuck him and pinky too, you son of a bitch!!!! (its not that serious lol... i just want him to stop fucking a toy horse... please guys)

13. This Goober Alien Guy - I know nothing. He just kinda showed up… and I'm not mad just a little confused. He looks like he needs a hot chocolate and a hug :)))) 

12. Lego Batman Movie - Low key an icon. What I would do to get my hands on one of these sets… I would come close to killing someone for it

11. DC Lego Super Villains - If he wasn't Lego I would propose (Shane Dawson style) Once again what I would do for the very discontinued Lego set tie in…

10. Batman: Brave and The Bold - Those cheekbones could cut someone. Why are you wear a mini skirt… take it off ;)

9. Suicide Squad (comic) - Yes I know he was drinking and driving but he's not real so it doesn't count!!! The beginning of the Boomer Mobile! THE GAP TOOTH DUDE!

8. Justice League Unlimited S1 - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ok the hairline is… bad…. But so is mine twin!! I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE HIM PROPER CLOTHES AND NOT RAGS DUDE

7. Agent of Oz - is this picture is my school profile pic...yes… and??HE'S COVERED IN BLOOD AND IM GIGGLING!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Stjepan Sejic's Boomer - Choke hold and choke me...  I want to hear his voice but he can't break his mewing streak…The ungodly things I would let him do to me

5. Dark: Apocalypse War - Constantine! Boomer! GIRLS! GIRLS!! ILL SLEEP WITH BOTH OF YOU!!! I was not expecting him in this movie so I started to freak out when he showed up DUDE. PLEASE LET ME SIT ON IT

4. Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay - I'm a ride he wouldn't survive… I DONT HAVE WORDS TO DECRIBE HOW I FEEL DUDE… I WOULD DO ANYTHING HE ASKED FOR NO JOKE. Dead on the floor

3. Justice League Unlimited S2 - The glow up in REAL... had me on my hands and knees as a 3rd grader… and still on my knees today. I have never wanted someone to fuck me in the back alleyway of a shit bar so bad in my life

2. Batman: Assault on Arkham - The one that started it all… he is the reason I am this way. no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom BUT GREG ELLIS IS PUBLIC ENIME NUMDER ONE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!

AND THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!! WE ALL SAW IT COMING

1. Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League - I AM GNAWING ON THE IRON BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!!! He has it all, the face, the VOICE, the look, the character!!!!! It is hands down the most consistently good representation of captain boomerang out their… and its canon that's he has a big dick :D I would sell my first born to get one night…

Thank you all for reading this word vom, I am sick in the head <3

if any of the comic issues are off or something please let me know :)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your our and tag me!! i need to see them <3<3<3

[juliasturnz]

“My teenage dream”

🜸 - this fanfic is requested again, @monroesturnns !! Make sure to follow her!♥️

★ - summary:

you and Chris haven’t been more then just friends.. you always had a crush on him, later that night you and Chris have a really deep conversation and some things don’t go as planned.

༆ - warnings!:

kissing, cussing, slightly sexual touch and use of alcohol (lmk if there is something else that triggers u!)

✫彡 - writers note :)

hi guys i just wanted to thank you all for the nice comments and follows, it means alooott thank you again 💖

★ - other role again!:

good friend chloe.. Good friend? Idrk she is js the type to leave you behind at a party..

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡

You are going to this huuuge party, it’s so exiting but you haven’t been to a party in a long time so you have no idea what to expect.

You are wearing something that will make a guy completely crazy.. a mini dress and your ass-cheeks are slightly visible. You’d always love to dress that way and you still do, but this old friend of yours is organizing it, he has always been nice to me but something is just feeling different.

Chloe has been texting you nonstop, ‘stop fucking texting me, oh my god!’ You say when she send you at least more then 10 messages. She has been telling you about the party for a hour long, ‘I’m getting ready rn I’ll be there in a half hour.’ You send her a voice message, I don’t feel like typing rn bc the black wand from my mascara is basically glued in my hands. Even when you send a voice message she just ignores you and talks further about boys and again the party.

When you finally type ‘I’m done’ to your yapping friend she finally stops talking, ‘okay I’ll be there in 20 minutes!’ She yells through a voice message. Your phone finally has been stop going off, until a familiar number pops up it’s Chris. You are texting with him while your doing your last things like putting on a perfume, checking your bag if you have everything and a few things more. Only a little time was left and he asks you if you want to face time.

‘Hey Chris, how r you!’ You act like you haven’t been talking the last 10 minutes, you kinda forget how well you guys went along and he basically starts acting with you ‘oh I haven’t spoken you in a long time y/n how are you?’ He looks at you through the phone with a little grin right before you two start busting out laughing. ‘Do you wanna take a little shot before the party?’ he asks you with a smile on his face. You take a good look at his face, hm he hasn’t changed a lot only his hair. You catch yourself looking at his blue eyes through the screen. ‘Oh wow.’ You cover your mouth when you realize you said that out loud. ‘Huh? Is there something wrong?’ He looks at you with a confused face and give you a little smile. Oh fuck do you think he noticed. Before you freak out and just stand there in silence you hear a ring from the doorbell. ‘I-I am sorry Chloe is here I’ll see you at the party bye!’ ‘Oh uh bye!’ I really hope I didn’t make thing weird.

Before you could even open the door someone has been screaming on the streets ‘hurry up we gotta go!’ You hear her high pitched voice so you hurry up before she starts yelling. ‘On my way!’ I think she heard me at least I hope so.

when you arrive at the front door she’s already speaking about the party and the fact that we have to hurry even though we had about 10 minutes left. ‘Can you hurry? We need to go there quick!’ ‘Chloe we have literally 10 mi’- she interrupts you immediately ‘no? We need to hurry like right now!’ ‘Girl calm down’ you whisper to yourself, you definitely don’t want her to hear what you were saying, bc that would 100% cause drama.

you put on one last time your favorite cologne and again deodorant and leave the house with Chloe talking about boys once again. ‘Girl you need a man in your life, you’re kinda boring.’ She casually says and turns around to your face completely in shock. What did she just say? ‘You heard me, we are going to find you a man tn.’ ‘What I don’t n’- once again she cuts you off

The rest of the car ride y’all stay silent which is surprising, normally Chloe would be either talking shit, brag about her “amazing” boyfriend or either talk about parties.

You arrive at Chris’ big house, ‘dang this mf has a big house!’ You stand right in front of a big mansion with already drunk teenagers in the front yard and the sound of music that hits your ears. ‘This is gonna be amazing!!!!’ Chloe is literally screaming. You just follow her in silence to the front door.

Before you could even ask her a thing she is already standing with her “amazing” boyfriend and her other friends, you look around to find someone to talk to bc no way your going to be standing with them. You look around and catch a glance from someone across the room and the someone is Chris. He looks so good, even tho he only wears a pair of baggy pants, a see through blouse with a light blue tie. Just perfect. He catches you looking at him and walks over to you. He is only a few inches away from you when you start apologizing right away, he makes you nervous. ‘Look I’m so sorry about what happened when we’- ‘shhh it’s okay, don’t think about it too much. I know you stared at my eyes,’ ‘well yes your eyes are pretty gorgeous.’ You look at him with a little shy but a naughty smile on your face. ‘Should we take that shot then?’ You follow him into the kitchen.

It isn’t really busy in here, but you’ve never seen this much red plastic cups around you. Chris catches your looking around mostly at the amount of red cups that are just laying around. ‘Please don’t mind this fucking mess.’ He kinda looks disappointed, ‘the way you said that sounds promising.’ You grin at his face still scanning almost every cup. ‘Anyways should we do 3 vodka shots?’ ‘Sounds good to me.’ You give him a warm smile as he fills the fancy shot glasses.

He hands you the pretty full shot glasses and looks at you and says ‘to the pretty woman in front of me.’ You blink twice, did he really said that oh my god. ‘You heard me.’ You giggle at his reaction and let the strong drink fall back into your throat. ‘This shit is disgusting.’ ‘Do you want a martini? I can make one for you.’ ‘Oh okay mr bartender.’ He giggles at your reaction.

You drink your martini while he has just a casual Pepsi, ‘so what brings you here tonight?’ He looks up at you with a very flirtatious look, ‘tbh like actually, even though my “friend” dragged me into here.. you.’ You keep looking at his now lightened up eyes. You can’t help but stare at them for a while. He interrupts your intense look, ‘wait what do you mean “friend”?’ He always seems to aks you things in a deeper level, something always felt connected between the two of you. Well she’s just idk not really my friend idk what she is.’ He gives you a worried look, ‘it’s okay I’m here.’ He lays his hand on your shoulder, what makes you tingle by his touch. ‘Thank you.’ ‘Ofcourse anytime.’ your curiosity bottles up ‘why did you even invite Chloe in the first place, not to be rude but she isn’t nice at all.’ ‘Oh my god is your “friend” Chloe?’ ‘Yeah I guess, why?’ ‘She cheated on me.’ He blurred out. ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to bring i’- you’re being interrupted by her storming into the kitchen. ‘Ugh I need more drinks,’ she looks everything but sober. ‘Oh no here come Chloe you need to rest.’ Chris helps you with her, you bring her upstairs to a free bedroom. ‘What a surprise.’ He stands in the doorway after he helped you let her lay down in a strangers bed, kind of waiting for you and watching you while you tuck Chloe into a strangers bed. ‘I’m so sorry about what she did.’ You turn your face to his face. ‘You don’t have to be sorry about this, but why are you even her friend, she’s such a dumbass.’ ‘She helped me through a rough time, but she became popular and she forgot about me.’ ‘Damn I’m sorry.’ He walks up to you and give you a hug out of nowhere. ‘It felt like you needed one.’ You sink into his shoulder and start sobbing out of thin air. ‘Hey hey, your okay your here with me come.’ He takes you to the bathroom to help you fix your perfectly done makeup.

‘You are really pretty you know that.’ You couldn’t focus on anything rn but his pink lips. ‘Oh your needy.’ He gives you a whole different tone. He leans into a kiss. You kiss him back right away. His hands fall on your waist and moves down to your thighs and while he squeezes them just the slightest bit. This was the best kiss you probably ever had. There is going so much through your head rn, “his lips are so soft” “he smells so good” “his lips taste just like vanilla” when you stop the most perfect kiss ever, you kind of wake up again. ‘You are a really good kisser mr bartender.’ You would never said this in any universe, it might be the drinks you had or the strong confidence you got while you were around him. ‘Am I? Should we get another drink then?’ You follow him to the kitchen again.

you surprisingly hold his hand while you walk through the dancing, drunk or smoking people. But trust me you definitely got eyes on you. When you and Chris reach the kitchen you fall back into the cheating topic, your friend. ‘And then she just cheated on me.’ You catch a little tear that flows down his cheek. ‘I’m so sorry Chris, you honestly don’t deserve that.’ You get of the barstool and hug him tight and go with your fingers through his soft hair. ‘Do you wanna take a walk or smth?’ He removes his head from your shoulder. You nod right away, ‘don’t you got to focus on what’s happening inside of here?’ Your kind of worried someone might literally burn the house down. ‘They’ll be alright the most of them are drunk anyway or Nick and Matt will take care of it, I hope so.’ he shrugs his shoulders and takes a Pepsi. ‘Oh okay then, should we go?’ ‘Yes.’ He sticks his hand out and you and you hold his hand while you walk out of the front door, holding each others hand.

He takes you to a small beach just at the end of the block, ‘it’s beautiful here!’ You can’t help but keep looking around even though it’s already night. ‘I know right, this place brings me so much peace.’ You and Chris are still holding hands, he looks down at the hands holding each other and slightly squeezes your hand. He gives you that one smile you missed a lot. ‘I love your smile so much.’ His cheeks turn slightly pink in the bright moonlight. ‘Should we just sit down and talk, I just wanted to get away from those people. I don’t know why I invited the half of those people. I didn’t wanna be rude yk?’ ‘Trust me I know. He lets his hand go while you nod at his first question. You keep on knowing exactly what he means in different scenarios, ‘I know exactly what you mean.’ You can’t help but keep on saying.

You are having such a great time with Chris, you missed this a lot. You reach the topic from the friendship between you two. ‘I really missed this,’ he looks at you with a sudden serious look. He is speaking exactly what you thought not even 20 min ago. ‘I really did too.’ He looks at your lips and kisses you once again. ‘Y/n I really love you, but I can’t keep you on a friend level. You make me so happy, you know me on a different level and I feel so co’- you interrupt him what kinda makes you feel bad bc those words were so beautiful. ‘I wanna be your girlfriend Chris. Your little speech was so beautiful btw.’ That makes him giggle a bit. And he kisses you in the bright moonlight at the beach once again.

🜸 -

Hey beautiful human🤭 make sure to like this post and comment if you wanna be tagged in my upcoming fanfics! I love you so much, you are loved <3 take care!💋

Tags:

@chrisslut333 @chrissslut @chris-slut @chrissv4mp @chrisshotdog @hollandsangel @ineedchriscock @chaossturns @sturnslcver @stuniolvs @sturnioloshacker @sturniolonmc @sturniolo-fann @sturnioz @sturniololvrrr @sturnzsblog @sturnzsun @sturnsdoll @sturnsbaby @sturnsblunt @sturnsstars @sturnzwrld @sturnzyolo @sturnzluv @pepsiboyy @pvssychicken @p4lxouterbanks @strawberrysturniolo @bernardsbendystraws @whore4cherrycoke @strombolicious @urfavstromboli @mattsfavbitchhh @mattstattos @mattsturnswife @mattsgf @mattsdirtylittlehoe @hoeformatt @hoesformatt @monroesturnns

[flyonthewallmedstudent]

The weirdness of high school.

And university too maybe.

Plus or minus med school. But not residency. Watching THis is Us and other bingeable shows recently.

There's a lot of flash backs and flash forwards in the show.

There's the high school ones, which like all TV shows is very stereotype'd. They go to an alumni event, and the nerdy girl now surgeon is estactic to hang out with the former football star/cool guy. Who is very thick.

I was a super weird, nerdy, socially awkward kid. Afraid of a lot of social things, but not afraid of science, history anything academic or what I looked like. I wore oversized sweats all day everyday. I never knew how to say the right things or act in a crowd. I hated crowds. 2 or 3 close friends was great, and the best I could muster. I was terrified of their parents.

But funnily enough, I never knew I was weird. I wasn't unhappy either.

I liked having 2-3 close friends, nothing more or less.

Then close to graduation, one of the guidance counselors (the non-crazy one) said to me, she didn't have a great high school experience either. But it gets better after high school. I'll see. It took me years as a teenager to understand what she meant.

Later on I realized that other people felt sorry for me. Thinking because I didn't have the stereotype of the great high school experience I was some how sad, ashamed, unhappy.

Ironically I never even thought about it and was actually happy in my own world and space. I had my separate universe in academics. Like it never dawned on me that I was missing out on anything.

I felt embarassed, in a strange way as an adult reflecting on those experiences. Slightly embarassed for me, but more embarrassed for the small town/city around me. I did not fit in that place, but I didn't know it either back then or didn't care to. We were very much ships passing in the night. I didn't and don't hate where I grew up, I actually loved it in my own way. I got a great education there, and it got me where I wanted to go.

Looking back, plenty of kids probably made underhanded mean comments or passive aggressive statements - but it all went over my head. I suppose I would have been unhappy, had I read between the lines back then. Someone even stole my math text the week of the math exam, but I was actually flattered. That hey, someone thought I was that smart (imposter syndrome starts when you're young). It was one of the best days of my life.

It was also hilarious to me then, that stealing the text of one of the nerds during exam week would sabotage anything - because they spend their entire free time studying the whole year. They don't cram. Cramming was a terrible habit I acquired in university/undergrad. In med school, I'd fail exams because I crammed.

Another time I had left my draft math home work in a common room table, a classmate told me (2 weeks after the fact) that 5-6 different kids grabbed it and copied it. unfortunately for them, it was a draft full of errors, so I completely disregarded as trash. the final copy I submitted with the correct formulae was substantially different. Our math teacher of course realized that everyone had the same errors, but couldn't figure out the source. No one ever said anything mean or confronting, so it wasn't hard to brush aside. they self-sabotaged themselves, nothing actually happened to me.

Again, it was like we lived on different planets. Had they asked, I probably would have helped them out, I didn't get the grades I got by myself either. My far smarter co-nerd friends taught me a lot. On the other hand, I was intensely shy, they probably interpreted it as being "aloof." Or worse, condescending.

I'd felt my entire time during school, that it was the path to something else. I wouldn't get there till about 10-15 years later. Maybe even 20. It was a means to an end. If I was going to be working, then I wanted that work to have meaning. Or what would the point of all those hours. My parents worked in jobs they grew to hate to just go home and be tired.

Med school was a bit like high school. After the first few months of first year, i spent most of it hiding from other med students. (They were fucking crazy, a good chunk of them although not all, the anxiety, stress, competitiveness, the back stabbing, entitlement and bravado --> by the way, people do mature and get better. of course not all them do. anyhoo).

It was after selecting a vocation and starting residency that I found "home." Where I suddenly was comfortable having more than 2-3 friends and happy to be in crowds. Because everyone in the crowd was pretty much like me. We wanted to talk about all the same things. Maybe I grew more comfortable in my own skin along the way too.

But you know, it wasn't me that need to grow and change. I had found the environment where I finally could be myself in.

[thisisntmyrightera]

She's Home -Nikki Sixx (Douglas Booth x fem reader) Part 4

: Nikki Sixx (Douglas Booth) and Female Reader

Warning: Hard Language, drug mention, adult content,death mention.

By then, before 1983 was over, Nikki had proposed to me and even though we got married in a small ceremony with just a couple of friends, it was just as I had always dreamed, with people who loved us. Following the advice of Don and Tom, our marriage was kept secret, according to both of them, if the fans of Motley Crue found out that one of the members had a wife their fame would not be the same as having 4 single members, and of course, everything was for the band so I accepted.

The story moved quickly, just when I least expected it, Motley Crue was already on tour with Ozzy Osbourne. It had been 4 years since I had met Nikki and the guy who one day gave me a ride home was now getting ready to go on stage in front of thousands of people, it was crazy how We were both fulfilling our dreams, each in our own way and on our own scale, but everything at our own pace.

At that time I had only been able to accompany Nikki to the concert in Los Angeles, I had finally been admitted as a nurse in the hospital os LA working 10 hour shifts and even though my last name was legally Sixx I continued to use my single name to avoid causing problems.

Everyday i come back home excited so I could receive a call from Nikki, I trusted him more than anyone in the world and hearing his voice telling me about his day made me feel like the happiest woman in the world even though I had already spent 4 months alone.

He always ended his call with an “I love you, I’ll call you tomorrow” and the next day it was exactly the same, I counted every minute for the tour to end and return home but many times my head would fly back with the thoughts that at first made me feel insecure

“Did you hear about Diana? Her husband cheated on her with her youngest daughter’s teacher, men are disgusting, don’t you believe Y/N?” The nurse in charge of the patient in 422 gossiped with the other nurses while I filled out some papers on the desk. “Yes, they are… they are terrible” I smiled at her barely trying to avoid her conversation “It’s very strange that a girl like you doesn’t have a boyfriend or husband, do you have something you haven’t told us, honey?'' I could feel the gaze of the other girls on me, waiting for my answer “No, I… I’m actually married, but it’s a bit complicated to explain” I smiled shyly feeling nervous “What’s so complicated, honey? He's a drunk with no future?" they all laughed waiting for my explanation but I just matched their laughter and decided to go check on my patient even though I had done it 10 minutes ago.

How do you explain to a group of women in their 20s that you're married to Nikki Sixx himself? I had heard more than one make disgusting comments about him, how they idolized his body and told of their fantasies with the man to whom I had sworn my unconditional love in front of God and the law, how do you explain that your husband is on tour with thousands of girls around him and i am an insignificant person waiting for him at home.

Everything was torture, watching him on MTV acting happy with the boys, looking at his image in the newspapers, his music videos, how i had fallen into that place where he didn't fit in, many times I fell asleep on the couch with the TV on thinking that maybe it was all a dream.

But then one August night I woke up with a warm hand caressing my hair, my heart skipped a beat as my eyes tried to adjust to the darkness of the room ''Shh baby it's me'' Nikki knelt in front of me taking my face carefully smiling ''I didn't mean to scare you love, I'm sorry'' ''Nikki?…What are you doing here?'' I sat up on the couch looking at him, maybe it was a dream and how much I missed him made me imagine him with me but he just laughed and sat next to me hugging me tightly ''We took a break from the tour before leaving the country and I wanted to see my favorite girl'' his hands kept moving over my body, he had never learned to control them and I honestly missed that about him ''You didn't just come for that right?'' I laughed feeling tickles on my stomach and neck as he left kisses on it ''Not really, I came to take you with me, I have a surprise for you '' he smiled mischievously, that smile that made me feel weak ''Come, I want you to see something'' he jumped up taking my hand making the blanket on my legs fall to the ground and I almost with it ''Wait Nikki, I don't have pants'' I laughed following his steps almost tripping ''I don't care, you won't need anything else from here, come with me''

The car in front of the sidewalk was something different and much more modern than what I was used to, it looked like something I had only seen on the streets and had never imagined but when he opened the door to let me in I knew something had changed.

He drove through the streets of Los Angeles, it was 4 am and the whole city was still asleep, the streets empty and the sky totally dark, he kept talking and talking about the many cities he had visited, all the people who had gone to see them and how great Ozzy was

''Sounds like you had fun'' I smiled at him looking at the city lights as he drove off the route we normally took and headed to the fancy area of ​​LA ''Honey where are we going?'' I looked at him curious, maybe he wanted to take me to a party with his friends and I barely had a shirt and my underwear on

''I'll take you where you deserve to be'' he smiled looking at me holding my hand as he drove ''Do you remember what I told you the day I asked you to be my girlfriend?''

''You said a lot of things Nikki, be specific'' I smiled hugging his arm breathing in his perfume and the scent of Jack Daniels and cigarettes, closing my eyes as I breathed in his presence

''I told you that you deserved the world and I was going to give it to you remember?'' I barely responded murmuring making him laugh ''well, that's what I want to give you'' the car stopped slowly and once the engine turned off everything was silent - ''open your eyes love, we're home''

''What?'' my eyes opened, looking at him curiously and then following his gaze to the house in front of us, it was beautiful just like we had once talked about, nothing luxurious or extravagant, just a home.

My heart was beating fast, almost making my chest jump, Nikki got out of the car, walked around it and opened my door offering me her hand to get out, I had never seen him move with such delicacy but that made me love him even more.

My bare feet touched the cold pavement, following him fearfully while my hands held his tightly until we stopped in front of a large fence surrounded by plants.

''Welcome home Mrs. Sixx'' I could feel his lips kissing my hair while his arms surrounded me from behind, as if he knew my legs felt like jelly and I could fall at any moment ''Do you like it? I asked Don for help to find a place that was just like we had imagined''

''But Nikki…'' - my eyes kept going back and forth between all the details of the front, the plants, the bricks, everything was perfect

''What's wrong love? You don't like it?''

''No no, it's not that, it's just that… it's ours?'' I looked at him curiously, still doubting if it belonged to us, how in such a short time he was giving me everything he had promised, I would never have imagined this while eating canned food in that old and small house where my mother had put us with a man who used to beat her.

''It's all our love'' Nikki laughed hugging me a little harder kissing my cheek ''From today, you won't have to go to work or go to sleep in the cold, do you understand? You will wait for me here at home and I will give you everything you deserve, you and our children who will grow up here''

We finally had a home and that night we took every room and corner we could find to give ourselves to each other for all the months without seeing each other, but the pleasure didn't last long and before I wanted it he left again to continue with the tour, this time leaving me with a new friend, Sharise.

She was the sweetest and funniest girl I could meet on my own, she was so attractive and daring, the opposite of me and when we found out she was pregnant I became her confidant and companion while Vince and Nikki continued with the boys on tour.

''Do you think it will be a girl or a boy?'' Sharise was looking at herself in the mirror while I was reading a magazine lying on her bed

''Mmm..possibly a girl I think'' I smiled at her watching as she caressed her belly over her pink dress

''Have you thought about having one?'' her blue eyes felt like knives as she looked at me through the mirror

''Have you thought about having one?'' I looked at her smiling, shaking my head in shame ''no..Nikki and I want to have children but we haven't decided when yet'' - my eyes returned to the magazine feeling my cheeks blush

''Oh come on, don't feel embarrassed sweetie, I'm sure you and Nikki have a very active sex life, right?'' She laughed coming closer sitting next to me with difficulty holding her big belly '' You can tell me, we're like best friends now''

My eyes tried to avoid hers, but she was right, we were like best friends and I had no one else to talk to, just Nikki and the bastard disappeared for months

''Well yes…when we're together we do it very often but…I don't know we haven't managed to get pregnant, maybe it's not the time yet''

''I understand, maybe it's because of all that shit Nikki gets into, he's a maniac, Vince told me that Nikki can't live without snorting cocaine and if he doesn't do it he gets aggressive'' She took the magazine reading the page she had left on without noticing that I was looking at her without understanding what she said.

''What do you mean with… all the shit he gets into?'' I sit up carefully without taking my eyes off her making her look at me the same way putting her face blank, maybe she thought I knew what Nikki did and although I had an idea I never imagined that the boys had him cataloged as a drug addict and aggressive

''Oh honey… I'm sorry I said it that way it's just that… I thought…'' she made a gesture taking her belly quickly taking a deep breath ''I know love, mom will be more careful''

''Are you okay?'' I approached worried taking her arm while she laughed nodding

''I'm fine honey, it's just that this naughty girl is kicking hard'' we both laughed relieved, more me than her apparently ''Look, put your hand here'' she held my hand taking it to her belly while a couple of kicks greeted me letting me know that whoever was inside her was listening to us ''Auntie is feeling you darling, be careful''

''Kick really hard, I'm sure it will be a girl and she will be very strong'' I smiled at her forgetting for a moment about our problems, I couldn't believe that this little being didn't even know me and already loved me, it was like creating my own family little by little

''I know and when your time comes you will also have very strong and beautiful babies like you and Nikki, can you imagine them?'' she jumped excitedly with her eyes shining ''They will have your beautiful hair and green eyes like Nikki, they will all be angels''

Since then there was not a day when I didn't daydream imagining all those children running around me, the house felt huge and empty, just me going back and forth from one place to another with nothing to do, it was so desperate sometimes that every call Nikki made at night made me want to demand that he come back and get me pregnant and not stop until he did, but my need was was overshadowed by my fears and didn't say anything.

Then December came and finally the boys had returned and two days later we were already at a party at Vince's house, it seemed like the boys couldn't stay away from each other and found any excuse to be together, surrounded by alcohol and groupies, drugs that even though Nikki wanted to hide them from me I could tell they were there and even more so when he told me he would "go to the bathroom" every 20 minutes and came back wiping his nose.

My conversations seemed even more interesting when Mick was with me, he seemed to be the only one who understood that I was already a married woman because Tommy kept joking around like the child he still was.

"Should I interrupt Mick? I don't have to remind you that you're talking to my wife, right?" Nikki sat next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders while holding a bottle of Jack Daniels.

''She's all yours bassist'' Mick sighed without hiding his back pain drinking from his beer

''What are you talking about, huh?'' Nikki looked at me too closely drinking from the whiskey

''About old people's things Sixx'' I smiled at him wiping the liquid that was left in the corner of his lip ''can we go home? Please''

''Why do you want to go home? Do you need to do something important?'' his eyes lost in alcohol and other things looked at me curiously

''I need to do important things with my husband'' I smiled at him arranging his hair out of his face barely kissing his lips

''You're disgusting, get a room'' Tom sighed crossing his arms making Tommy and Mick look at him while Nikki and I give him a killer look, it was something that made me feel so similar to him, we both disliked stupid people.

''Why don't you get a life Tom? It'll be easier than getting a girlfriend that Tommy doesn't fuck'' I looked at him annoyed, getting up from the couch while I heard Mick and Tommy laughing, making Tom look at the floor embarrassed ''I'll go with Sharise babe''

''Damn, how I love my woman'' Nikki barely expressed, slapping me on the butt while I could feel his gaze following me until I found Sharise on the stairs

''Sweetie, could you tell them not to go out for alcohol? We have enough'' she looked at me almost pleading ''Vince and Razzle want to go for more, they don't listen to me''

''They won't listen to you, you know them'' I smiled at her adjusting Razzle's hat on her head watching them walk through the door staggering from one side to the other

''Sweetheart… I mean, sweethearts'' Razzle laughed barely caressing Sharise's belly ''Mrs. Sixx'' the thin man bowed making us laugh as he left behind Vince, clearly both drunk

''Come on, let's go to my room, my back is killing me'' Sharise sighed going up slowly while I followed her ''I don't think the party will end early, if you want you can sleep here with me sweetheart''

''I think so, I've asked Nikki to go home several times and I can't convince him'' I sighed throwing myself on the sofa in her room, surrounded by silk cushions while I watched her come and go from her dressing room trying to take off her dress

''Help me with the zipper, I can't reach it'' my hands carefully open it while she held the front part ''did you try the insinuation thing?''

''Yep...maybe I need something more don't you think?…maybe…to be a little more sugestive?'' I looked at her curiously, waiting to receive her advice

''I don't think so, Nikki loves you just the way you are, honey, you shouldn't stop being yourself just because you think he's not interested in you anymore'' she looked at me taking off her earrings while sitting on her bed ''you have him crazy, the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you''

''You think so?'' I smiled at her feeling flattered and curious

''Of course you do, you know that they are always surrounded by girls right? Vince tells me everything and always says how much he admires Nikki for how she defends your space and doesn't let any whore take it''

Was it right to start daydreaming again? Nikki was my everything and knowing that I was my everything for him too made me feel complete and happy, I could see her fixing the blankets to sleep and putting her hair up but my head kept flying in how much she loved Sixx, not even the loud music made me land.

''Come on, go to bed, girl. You'll have more time to think about your husband and how much you want to fuck him'' she laughed, hitting the bed beside her, making me laugh. ''Take that robe, today we'll be pajama twins''

''Shut up'' I laughed, undressing without shame. We had done it many times and it was a common thing in our sleepovers as women forgotten by our rock star husbands. ''You know, I think I'm ready to tell Nikki''

''Tell him what?'' she looked at me curiously, adjusting her pillow.

''You know about… having a baby'' there was no way that just mentioning it would make me nervous, but it did.

''Really? It will be great, so Skylar will have someone to play with'' her cheeks seemed to explode with excitement with her smile

''Skylar?'' - I looked at her curiously as I lay down next to her

''Yes… Skylar, Vince and I decided that this is what our daughter will be called, we know it will be a girl''

''It sounds beautiful, Skylar is perfect for her'' We both seemed like a couple of teenagers whenever we talked about her little angel, we were excited to talk about her little clothes, her future toys or how she would look like Vince or her.

We could spend hours and hours without getting bored until we fell asleep like two little girls after eating too much sugar.

It was then that the sound of the party became something different, the music stopped and the noise seemed to increase as the cars accelerated at full speed moving away and I barely woke up and could notice that she was still asleep.

I carefully climbed out of bed, taking slow steps out of the room, watching as the crowd of strange people ran out of the place, my bare feet stepped on the cold tiles as I walked down the stairs, by then I didn't even remember that I was wearing a nightgown that barely covered my butt and my nipples were visible under the thin pink fabric.

''Tommy?'' I could feel the tension in his body as he was accompanied by a blonde girl who rubbed his back slowly ''Tommy what's wrong?''

''I...'' the boy looked at me scared, it seemed like he could barely draw air '' I..'' no other word came out of his mouth, his heaving chest drew air in slowl '' There was an accident… it seems there are dead people..''

''an accident?.. what do you mean an accident? '' my accelerated pulse made my ears vibrate- ''where is Nikki?''

''He's okay'' - the blonde girl looked at me calmly taking my arm ''he's in the living room''

As soon as I heard her words I ran out, not caring that the people running against me pushed me or my bare feet kicked empty beer bottles, I just wanted to see him and know that he was okay, I could see Mick leaning against the kitchen, Tom walking back and forth but it took me a long time to find Nikki who was on the couch covering her face

''Baby…honey what happened?'' my knees hit the cold floor while my hands caressed her hair- love are you okay?

''It's Vince..'' I could hear a sob and her breath cut off between his hands ''Vince had an accident''

''Vince?..oh my god…he…he's okay'' I took his hands slowly, carefully removing them from his face

''He's…he's okay but…'' his eyes were irritated, there were tears running down his cheeks and his hands were shaking between mine ''Razzle died…Razzle's gone…''

''Honey, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry'' I could barely hold him in my arms when he broke into a thousand pieces and began to cry, I had never comforted him like that, it broke my heart to see him this way, he had lost his friend and I couldn't imagine what I would feel if it happened to me when I lost him, my only best friend life would be so fucked up.

Atfer all, Is this being part of the fucking Motley Crue.

Thanks for all the interactions,

@thatoneawesomechicka @frieddreamtoadhound @oskea93 @lustxforxlife @tkayla12 @dreams-n-warpedminds @thenamylove @iasmi69 @marvelobsessed134 @ilovesexydads @nikkis-cherry @error180900-blog @crescentbladed @eattothebeatt @thebsttrashpanda

[allhereincolour]

https://www.tumblr.com/allhereincolour/766083324562309120/the-way-5sos-is-treated-by-the-music-industry-and

The way you worded this is perfect, they have so much talent (more talent than most of trending artists imo) and it pisses me off that English love affair is trending on TikTok cause like the song has been out for 10 years and your just now realizing it’s a banger? Every time their trending it has something to do with their association with 1d, there’s nothing wrong with that but 5sos is their own band and is STILL making and releasing music. Some of these people need to go listen to the whole 5sos5 album and realize the growth these boys have had. It’s crazy how they are selling out arenas but they still don’t get the recognition they deserve but I love the 5sos fans loyalty and dedication and have seen a lot more pages for 5sos popping up on my TikTok and tumblr

EXACTLY !!!!! if they can sell out arenas at their level while barely being a mainstream artist, maintain 18-20 million listeners on Spotify WHILE THEY’RE INACTIVE and still have a really involved and loyal fan base, surely people should be able to see they’re doing something right

don’t even get me started omg…i’m one of few who was never into 1d, i was purely into 5sos (yes i was one of those annoying ass “i’m not like other girls😜” girlies in like 2014 LMAO) and obviously 1d gave them many fantastic opportunities and gave them a HUGE leg up but people act like they’re nothing but an extension of 1d and it pisses me off. people acting like they fell off after opening for 1d just because they haven’t heard of them for years is so…

their biggest album is youngblood and that was 4 years after they finished touring for 1d, is in a crazy different sonic direction than their first two albums and is genuinely just a showcase how fuckin talented they are!

i talk all the time about how they’re the biggest band no one’s ever heard of, because people have heard of them…people just barely recognise that they exist as a separate entity from one direction and i fear they will never escape that label even though they haven’t toured w them for a decade

might be reaching here but i think a lot of people assumed that 5sos broke up when 1d did OR stopped making music and people were just never interested in investigating further. but please omg GO LISTEN!!!!

(this isn’t a dig at 1d btw it’s a dig at the general public for dismissing their talent because they’re seen as a generic boyband for teenage girls when they’re so much more than people give them credit for (let me not get into the misogyny at play here because i’ll be here for hours but you get the point))

in conclusion…go stream 5sos5 <3

[chiiyuuvv]

clingy xikers asking for cuddles/kisses headcanons?? 🫣🫣

-🍪

• PAIRING — bf!xikers x gn!reader

• GENRE — clingy, clingy, clingyy.. and fluff :)

• WORD COUNT — 655

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — ty for requesting!! Also im going to close requests so i can focus on writing other works

• TAGLIST — @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

MINJAE ☆

usually pouty when he wants his kisses

Just sticks out his cheek and taps it, waiting for the smooch

Very whiny too, dragging your name out with a "ahh" at the end as he tries to get you to kiss him

"Pleasee~" with big puppy eyes and dropping his bottom lip

Dont tell the members this ♡

JUNMIN ☆

Puts his head on your lap and looks up at you with his doe eyes

"Cuddle?" His voice is small as he opens his arms

how could you not engulf the cutie?

Melts in your arms

This is usually when hes feeling a bit down about something, so he uses this time to rant about his day or whatevers been on his mind ♡

SUMIN ☆

Its in the mornings

Hes just woken up and he wants you to stay in bed with him for 5 more minutes

15 minutes later and hes still stuck to you

His arms are draped around your body and his head is in the crook of your neck

Andd then youll spend the morning sleeping in ♡

JINSIK ☆

Calls you over

Tries to act cute (stupid) to get you in his arms but you just laugh at him

And now hes pouting

Hovers over you if youre doing something, turning off your computer or slapping your phone out of your hands

And hugs you tightly. I mean, really tight :) ♡

HYUNWOO ☆

Lots of staring, but bats his eyes away when you catch him

A little shy to say that he wants to cuddle, so he just waits until you catch on

Usually wants to be the little spoon on these scenarios, his head on your chest and your arms wrapped around his neck

And plenty of head pats and ruffles too!!

Just has this little smile on his face with his eyes closed, take care of him ♡

JUNGHOON ☆

Bro just spawns in your arms

Youre not use how it does, or how it happened. One minute youre watching tv and the next hes in your arms

A smile on his face as he feels small, tucking his head into your neck and his arms wrapped tightly around you

Please rub his back

He'll love you more, i promise ♡

SEEUN ☆

Petty when hes clingy

Just like "oh, you didnt give me my good morning kiss so im not going to make your coffee. Yeah, what are you going to do?"

And he doesn't need just one kiss to make up for it, he needs 10, 20, however much he wants

And even then is he not satisfied

So you gotta treat him like your baby girl for the rest of the day ♡

YUJUN ☆

Comes up behind you out of nowhere and wraps his arms around your waist

Like if youre washing the dishes or something, he starts giving you back hugs and kisses on your neck, telling you to go to bed and how he'd do everything in the morning

Its a little hard walking when hes attached to you

But also refuses to leave you

So now youre wobbling around the house ♡

HUNTER ☆

Kinda rare, he usually teases you if youre feeling clingy

But its mostly when hes feeling sleepy, he just wants kisses and hugs and just wants to be pampered

And the dazed smile he gives you makes the whole thing worth it, giving him more and more

Now his heart is fluttering like crazy, repeating your name with laughs as you peppers his face with kisses

Whispers how much he loves you, then closes his eyes ♡

YECHAN ☆

Traps you in his arms, especially if hes taller than you

Wont let you go as hes rocking your body back and forth

Keeps patting your head and you want to leave his grasp but hes just smells so, so good

Sometimes this might lead to a tickle fight, or maybe even pillow?? Dont ask me how

He just wants to hug his baby okayy?! ♡

[th3-0bjectivist]

Dear listener, every year I run a fine-tooth comb over the internet to discover one ‘new’ type of music that is without a doubt… good batshit. I have long maintained that there are two kinds of bat guano in music: good batshit and bad batshit. If it’s passionate, experimental, entertaining, bizarre, and scares the piss out of modern puritans… that’s nutrient-rich good batshit! If it’s totally derivative of other acts, openly preachy, and flat-out boring all while desperately trying to be edgy… that’s a festering pile of bad batshit. This week, I’m going to expose you to music by Machine Girl. Smash play on the track just above, it’s a music video for their song Ginger Claps on their 2014 album Wlfgrl. If it doesn't freak you out too much, join me down below for more!

In 2024, I've been looking for gym jams. Y'know, utterly chaotic music you can listen to at the gym that makes you work out harder and longer than usual!? I happen to work with a group of young guys, and they always have the weirdest music playing in the workstation area. Being an old man compared to the pups, I often laugh or cringe at their screamo, emo violence and metalcore garbage. In just the last fortnight or so, I was passing through the workstation area and heard a very peculiar and strangely attractive sound. It reminded me of a hybrid between Aphex Twin and KMFDM. So, I memorized the band name, showed up at the gym to sample their tracks, and ended up staying on the treadmill for an extra hour as my ear canals climaxed at this fast-paced new sound. Their tunes made my body move, and how! I basically just started listening to this duo from Long Island, NY, so I'm hardly a subject matter expert, but despite my best efforts, I just can’t stop sampling this eery and tasty batshit! I can plainly state I have not heard a single other musical act that sounds exactly like this, and as of this posting I will declare it to be the most chaotic music I’ve ever installed on my blog. But there is an order to this chaos, as it is fundamentally rooted in the structures and schools of punk, digital hardcore, rave and industrial. Talk about a messy emotional ride; in some instances, their individual tunes are like listening to 10-20 soundscapes mashed into one 3-minute track. Apparently, if you listen to their tunes deep enough, you’ll find themes of gender identity, sexuality and a criticism of capitalism. So, if you’re into those themes, have at it! Me!? I'm just here for the extremely crazy breakbeats and the total experimental experience they have to offer. Just below, you’ll find Necro Culture Vulture from their 2020 album The Ugly Art. Especially if you’re a fitness-inspired gym rat like me these days, try this batshit on for size when you’re on the tread, it’ll all suddenly make sense if it hasn’t already!

This year, this is the most creative and inspiring new-to-my ears music I’ve had the good fortune to stumble across. I commend them for their explosive tracks that rapidly ascend into something akin to an epic score right out of a modern AAA video game. It’s music that literally sounds like it was produced by extraterrestrials from another dimension. Fuck-to-the-yeah! Image source: https://www.revolvermag.com/music/machine-girl-alien-music-duo-spitting-blood-mashing-genres-transcending-self

[mywrittingwonderland]

Toronto or London

Hello Everyone, Am I back? I am not sure, but I just really got stuck in my head these past few days, and well, I figured writing would help me. I didn't really proofread this, so I apologize in advance. I also don't necessarily love this that much, but at least it got me out of my limbo phase. Warnings: None really Word Count: 2,510 Summary: She has always been in love with Toronto; she just didn't know why yet.

Enjoy!!

- - - - - - - - -

20/05/2018

“Toronto or London?” — Jimmy asked as the last question of the fast questions round.

“Toronto” — Emily replied, without a second thought to the question. Which got the audience and all her fellow colleagues to look at her by surprise. 

“Wait a minute, weren’t you born in London? What makes you choose Toronto?”

“Honestly? I just have always had a good feeling about Toronto, even though I never really got spend that much time there, I hope that at some point once I have a break I manage to go touring on that city.” — She replied, with an honest response. The truth is that she always had a good feeling when she was around Toronto, she just didn’t know why. - - -

12/06/2018

“Shawn, someone told me you wanted to tryout for a few acting gigs, and that Harry has been pushing you to do it?” — Shawn laughed at the question while nodding his head confirming the information. — “So my question to you is, if you had to work with any actor/actress who would it be?” 

“Oh wow, that’s a difficult one Jimmy, but I think I would have to say Emily Wilson, I just really love everything she does, like it would be such an honour. I am a huge fan! Honestly even meeting her would be a huge honour” 

“Well I was told she loves Toronto! So maybe it won’t be that hard to find her roaming around the city, you could just ask her on a date you know?” — Jimmy joked.

“I don’t think I would ever even dare to do that!” — Shawn answered, his face definitely a bit flustered.

“Well, but moving on to business Shawn, talk to us about your new album!”

30/09/2019

“So, Emily lets talk about your new film, you are now shooting in Toronto, right?” 

“Yes, and it has been an amazing experience to be able to be in Toronto for 3 months now, I really love this city so much!” — She replied with a smile on her face.

“That’s so great! I hope you managed to finally go to all the places you wanted to visit around the city, did you manage to have the time to do that?” 

“Oh, I really wish! We barely stopped during the filming process because I need to run to London right after this, we are starting to shoot The Selection series with Netflix, as you all know, so I manage to visit a few places but definitely have to come back.”

“So, if you had to choose between life in Toronto or London, which one would you choose?” 

“Toronto!” — She answer without second thoughts. — “Don’t get me wrong I love London, but there is just something about here that I can’t take my head off it.” 

 - - -

10/01/2020

“Girl I just loved your work so much! I mean you know I love your acting gigs but your song, I just don’t know how you didn’t win song of the year! It was my song of the year for sure!” — Billie said as soon as she spotted Emily at the Grammy’s after party.

“Come on! You are queen here today, don’t even start! You killed it!” 

“Thank you! It means a lot coming from you! I heard you are back to filming in New York this month? Maybe we can meet up for a coffee when you are around?”

“Actually, I just finished filming yesterday, I am heading to Toronto tomorrow, and then back to London for more filming.” — Emily said a bit sad she would miss the coffee with Billie.

“No wayyyy! Wait up, I will probably head to Canada for a few days too, Justin recommend me a very nice retreat in which paps won’t find me, and I am in need of some offline days, especially after this crazy night, I feel like I can definitely go for that!” 

“That’s amazing, if you want you can come with me in the plane and we have that coffee and you can tell me more about how was this masterpiece production”

“I am in girl! Let’s go!” — Billie answered before being dragged by her brother to answer to a phone call they had just got.

- - -

11/01/2020

“Wait up! You have never talked with Shawn or Justin before? Even though you have been obsessed with Canada your entire life? How is that even possible? 

“You know I was nominated for a song for the movie I did right? I don’t actually sing B.” — Emily said laughing at her friend.

“Oh shush girl, you just won a grammy yesterday for best song for visual media, maybe you don’t want to admit but you are good in what you are doing” 

“Billie, I literally have one song out!”

“True! But still…” 

“Enough on me and my obsession with Canada, tell me more about what you have been up to! It has been so long since we had time to actually talk!” — Emily answered, eager to know more about her friend.

- - -

12/01/2020

“Shawn there is an invitation for you to go to this interview tomorrow with Emily Wilson, I know it is last minute but if you want to do it, we can do it.” — Andrew said over the phone.

“Wait, what? Really? Of course I want to do it, should probably talk to Camilla first about it, but yes.” — He said, immediately texting his girlfriend about the interview as he knew she could become a bit insecure with Shawn going to an interview with his celebrity crush. But her response came out being super supportive which made Shawn at ease about going.

- - -

13/01/2020

“Hello you guys, I was told you had never met! And honestly I didn’t believe it!” — The interviewer at the radio said making Shawn and Emily smile at each other before answering.

“I honestly just never spent enough time here to get to meet new people, I am always hanging out with the crew and it just never happened, but it is an honour to finally meet you Shawn!” — Emily said with a smile.

“No, please the honour is all mine! I just really cannot believe this is happening right now and I am not sure I know exactly how to properly behave, I am like your number 1 fan!” — He said, totally fingerling over her and making her giggle. 

“Normally Emily comes over to talk about acting, but today we will talk about song writing, and her process on writing and recording her song for a Disney movie! How did that happen?” 

“Well Kate, I don’t even know myself if I am being honest, I knew I would have to sing, but when Julia contacted me asking if I wanted to help with writing it took me a lot by surprise, it was the first time I ever wrote a song in my life, so I definitely was not expecting the response we got, honestly I really believe it was all Julia’s magic and I ended up being there with her by a struck of luck or something” — She answered.

“What do you think of the song Shawn? And how it is writing for you?”

“What do I think of her song? I wrote with Julia a few weeks after they finished recording and Julia couldn’t shut up about you and how you brought all the sparkles into the song, and I really think it is an amazing vulnerable song and that you really should give yourself some more credit, I really love it. And about writing, for me this song is an example of what I am trying to do every day, really just pouring my soul into it and making feelings into words.” — He answered making her blush a little. 

“Thank you Shawn, we don’t have a lot of time today unfortunately, so we chose one question from fans for you to answer: If you had to choose between writing in London or anywhere else in the world where would you choose to go?” 

“I really like recoding in LA, but London is on my top 5 places too.” — Shawn answered and waited for Emily.

“Toronto, 100%! If there is one place I feel the most comfortable being in such a vulnerable state is Toronto for sure.”

“Time is up, guys thank you so much! I hope I get to see more of you around Toronto Emily, and Shawn let’s please meet up soon! I will see you again tomorrow to talk about the process of filming Game of Thrones with Emilia Clarke!” 

As they left the recording room, Shawn finally had the chance to compliment Emily properly.

“I really really love your work so much, you have no idea! — He said in an exited way which made her smile. — Can I hug you? — He asked and she immediately nodded and was engulfed in his hug. She really had a strange sensation when they were hugging, it was the same sensation she felt whenever she would arrive in Toronto, it felt like home. “Is it too much if I ask for an autograph too?” — He asked, making her laugh.

“Of course, here you go.” She signed on his notebook.

They talked for over an hour after the interview, and he also left her his number for whenever she was around if she needed company to tour on his city. She knew he had a girlfriend but at the same time she couldn’t help but to wonder which is also why she promised herself to never text him.

- - -

15/08/2021

“Our final question of the night” — Elen said with a pout and the audience also made a sound of protest. “I know, I know you love her, I love her too!” — She said taking Emily laugh

“And I love you all of course” — She said seeing a kiss to the audience.

“If you had to make a song duet, and I mean a real one, not one with me for this show. Who would you like to sing with?” 

“Shawn Mendes” — She said, very fast and without thinking too much.

“Oh wow, that was fast, is there something going on that we don’t know about? You definitely do make a lot of visits to Toronto.” — Elen said, leaving it open to her to interpret it.

“I just really like the way his voice sounds” — She said, bluish a little when she noticed how her response sounded. — “ And of course if we record in Toronto even better”

“Smooth Emily, I guess we all will have to let that slide since our time is up for today”.

- - - 

19/10/2021

“So Shawn” — Elen Paused —“Do you watch my show?”

“Whenever I can, I do.” 

“A few months ago we had an interview with Emily Wilson, and apparently she really likes your voice” — She said making him blush because he had no idea what she was talking about.

“I am not exactly sure what you are talking about Elen” — He answered, not wanting to mess things up with his favourite star.

“Here is Emily on this show, and what she said” — Elen replayed the clip, and Shawn immediately felt his blushing. “Adorable right?” — She said making him close his eyes for a second and smile timidly.

“I really like the way her voice sounds too, not only in music but also everything she has even acted on, she is perfect in everything she does” — He answered and bit his lip softly at the end, still embarrassed by the situation.

Later that night he was surprised when his phone received a text from Emily, as he hadn’t really talked to her in over a year.

Emily: I will be in Toronto next week, if you are around and want to meet for a coffee maybe?

Shawn: Text me your hotel once you have it and I will pick you up and show you around the city if you want a proper tour.

- - -

25/10/2021

“Connor I am sincerely nervous for this. — Shawn said for the 100th time that day.

“It will be fine, honestly I can’t believe it took you guys so long to actually go on a date!” 

“What do you mean, Man I did have a girlfriend before remember?”

“Shawn, we both know your relationship with Mila started for the wrong reasons, and honestly the possibility of it evolving was very slim.” — He said referring to the publicity stunt they had agreed and that later evolved into a relationship. — “You love her, but only as a friend, whereas you have been fungirling over Emi for years, even before Camila.” 

“I am not sure if you saying that helps a lot to soothe my nerves at all” — He said adjusting the collar of his shirt and deciding it was time to leave.

- - -

05/04/2022

“Okay, so since you are here, and we are being honest with each other, I though we might as well go for Spill your Guts or Fill your Guts!” — James said being filled by a round of a applauses. — “Everything in here is vegetarian, so you can eat everything, or nothing if you decide to answer the questions.”.

“Oh God, this does not look good at all, but yeah, I am ready, ask me”. 

“We are nearing the finale of your series with Netflix, are there any spin-offs of the series being prepared for later? Or is that the last of The Selection we will see? — He asked making her close her eyes.

“Come on James, that is really not fair, I can’t answer this.” — She said trying to sound a bit mad, but laughing at the end.

“That’s all right, you can always go for the onion and garlic tea.” — He said, and she took a sip making a lot of effort to not throw up in the process.

“My turn, James, is there any celebrity who you refused to invite to your show before?” — She read her question and smiled at him.

“She really knows what she is doing you guys, nop I guess olive pudding for me it is” — He said looking a bite of the disgusting looking olive pudding.

“Emily, some photos have been circling around the internet, and I we are all wondering if they are real, so I would like to read Shawn’s last 3 messages to you” — He said making her blush, they still hadn’t officially confirmed nor denied anything, but their photos of the grammy’s were all over the internet already so there was really no hiding to do anymore.

“Okay, I guess you can do that” — She said after verifying the messages quickly.

“Oh wow! I was not expecting that you guys! I really wasn’t, okay so let’s do this:

Hi Emi, I really really miss you. I hope James is not too mean to you, Love. Good luck, I love you, and see you later.

“Awww… you guys are melting our hearts right now.” — He said taking her phone close to his heart. — “IT’S REAL EVERYONE!” 

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/20/2024: WOMAN OF THE HOUR

I would have had a lot more to say about this movie if I sat down to write closer to when I saw it, but maybe it's better that I did not wind up spending as much time as possible on something so frustrating. [EDIT: I wound up spending as much time as possible anyway, OH WELL.] Luckily, I think I can lay out the fundamental problem pretty easily:

Anna Kendrick wants to tell a story about how show business forces women to be complicit in their own objectification. >> In real life, unsettling creep Rodney Alcala posed as a professional photographer in order to victimize women who might have avoided him otherwise. (That is almost all I need to say, but anyway) Despite being violent and unstable, he slipped through the cracks of a faulty justice system. His fashionable headshots got him cast on The Dating Game, but in person everyone found him immediately disturbing including contestant Cheryl Bradshaw. >> Anna Kendrick makes a movie about how Rodney Alcala was so sweet and cuddly and charming that his victims were totally tricked by his seductive personality, just like every serial killer you have ever heard of. PS The Dating Game was a bastion of Hollywood misogyny, the end.

I mean what was she thinking? The story is RIGHT THERE. In Hollywood, women are victimized by the men behind the cameras. Serial killer Rodney Alcala used his camera to exploit vulnerable women. Like this is not hard. But instead we have this long regurgitated Ted Bundy-type cliche about how DID U GUYS KNOW psychopaths are often charismatic and manipulative and a lot of people think they are nice at first. Not only is that boring, and not only does it miss what seems to be WOMAN OF THE HOUR's main point about the perils of show business, but it is also not the line on Alcala. I mean, I'm sure some people found him charming at first, anything is possible, but the usual narrative with him is that he was clearly "off" and had a long criminal record, but his cover story about being a professional photographer was persuasive enough that a lot of people died for it.

I would also add that if we must absolutely insist that Alcala's chief quality was being overpoweringly seductive, then they should have cast someone who is actually like that. Daniel Zovatto really doesn't work for me. He's slouchy, dough-faced, marble-mouthed, anonymous, and has a terminal lack of gravity. I can kind of tell from the script that he's supposed to be alluring, but it is simply not happening on the screen at all. He might get away with being that uncompelling if he really looked like Alcala, which he certainly does not. Whether or not one finds him sexy, Alcala was undeniably striking, with exaggeratedly chiseled features and all that crazy Kenny G hair; it is not at all enough to just get a random Latino actor and stick a long, limp wig on him. What you ideally want is someone who presents like Tom Cruise, who looks and acts like the fashionable male du jour, but he's pushy, he's weird, you can tell there's something sort of wrong with him. What you preferably want is someone who also looks even remotely like the highly recognizable, real-life person he's supposed to be.

My aversion to Daniel Zovatto's look actually ties into my general problem with the way the whole movie looks. Other people have pointed out that Zovatto and Kendrick look so little like their real-life counterparts that you have to wonder if anyone on the set had ever heard of hair and makeup. If it were a simpler, more naturalistic movie, it could be OK to fudge the visual details, but much of the film has this heightened cartoon quality that actually made it hard for me to understand how seriously I was supposed to take it all.

Frankly, I didn't feel like Anna Kendrick took this very seriously. I think she really wanted to tell her own story about how it's hard to be a smart brunette in Hollywood, but if you are a Girl Boss then you could still totally kick ass on The Dating Game and flip the script on all the lame-o sexist pigs...which is a pretty embarrassingly unrealistic part of this movie. Another embarrassingly unrealistic part of the movie is when we are introduced to an entire secondary cast of characters who have nothing to do but support the ridiculous idea that one of Alcala's victims was in the audience, and she freaked out and she made a big scene, and she went to the ends of the earth to get justice but nobody listened. It's just confusing to add a fictional component that gigantic to a movie that is being marketed so forcefully as a True Story. And doing this totally undermines all the real, actual, extraordinary injustices that make up the whole Alcala history.

Part of the reason I didn't like how Alcala is portrayed as this Dracula guy who seduces beautiful ladies, is that a significant part of his criminal career was devoted to doing absolutely appalling, unrepeatable things to children. This guy was really, really bad news, and everyone should have known it, and he only got by because of our deranged justice system and, to some degree, the popular acceptance that show business types are a little creepy and you just have to put up with that if you want a career. I feel like Anna Kendrick was simply not prepared to deal with the real story here, but she just wouldn't back down from her personal fantasy about Cheryl Bradshaw, so now we have this movie where Rodney Alcala is portrayed as a sexy exciting werewolf guy and Cheryl Bradshaw just has to like do Girl Power on him to defeat his wily ways.

I actually don't have anything against Anna Kendrick, she's decent in her movie and I can kind of understand why she wanted to tell a certain version of this story. But I guess I think she should have positioned this as more "loosely based" on the Alcala story and changed some names, or possibly she could even have eliminated the entire Alcala backstory component and made it a focused study of the life of someone like Cheryl Bradshaw *leading up to* her meeting a monster in the absurd context of a game show. I think there were probably a number of ways to do this movie that weren't so shallow, misguided, and egotistical, but the end result here just gave me the creeps for all the wrong reasons.

Actually, I have a simpler way to explain why I disliked this so intensely. Years ago I went to a screening of a movie called THE OTHER LAMB with the director in attendance; the film is about a kind of stereotypical cult where the girls all dress like sacrificial virgins and they're all jealously trying to be the main sister-wife of the leader who is kind of hubba, and eventually something goes wrong and one of them realizes she should escape...I forget the details, it wasn't stellar. The important part is that the director spoke about how she's just obsessed with cults and she listens to every podcast and watches every TV show about them because they're so freaky, but she totally doesn't get why the cult leaders are always grody old farts, like why would any chick be in a cult where they have to fuck a gross dude? So I guess instead of absorbing any information at all about how cults work, what the power dynamics are, and how cult members usually come to harm, she decided to write a version that she personally would understand better in which the cult leader is a mega hottie so it makes sense that everyone wants to suck his dick. Which was so astonishing to me, and so weirdly victim-blaming -- like cult victims must secretly want it, that's the only explanation for why they get exploited...I'm really permanently angry about that movie now. And I got a similar feeling from WOMAN OF THE HOUR, as if it's saying that we must imagine Rodney Alcala to be incredibly desirable, because otherwise everyone who fell prey to him must have been a huge dumbass.

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

TEACHER RANT

75% of our kids failed the last test we had.

So we have to contact the parents of every kid that failed, tell them the test score and tell them that we are sending the test home for them to retake and that they won't get credit for it unless the parents sign it.

And that's only half of it because for every single kid we do that for we have to fill out a data sheet on it which takes about a minute and a half each.

I teach 108 kids a day!

From 4:20 to 6:00 I'd done about 10 kids so far!!

I gave up and went home knowing I still have so much to do. We had about 15 kids out sick with either strep, flu, or covid today. For every kid that is out I have to cut out their notes and glue them into their notebooks for them --already filled out so they will have them.

I worked through lunch and finally managed to get the first three classes worth of kids done.

I've got kids that literally only show up once every 3 weeks. And yet we are expected to keep them completely updated on every single thing and have their work ready for them and get them ready to take test when they're never here long enough to absorb anything.

And those 75% of the kids that failed they had all of the answers in their notes. They were allowed to use their notes. We gave them the answers over and over probably three or four times each during note-taking. So either they were too busy talking to each other to take the notes to begin with. Or if they are some kind of special needs where we have to take the notes for them and glue them into their book they were too lazy to open up the book and look for the answer. Literally the answer to 98% of the questions were straightforward from the notes literally written word for word and yet most of the scores were in 30% range.

I have one class that only has nine kids in it. Nine kids that's all. But they are all so low level except for one girl. The one girl that is high level is just crazy. All she wants to do is run around pick on people get physical with people grab them pull their hair throw their things around. She's probably one of the few people that could actually do and understand the work but she just acts out all the time. One girl is one of the kids that only shows up once every 3 months and even then she has so many special needs she's pretty much not going to be able to do much of anything in class. And the others while they're medium to low level they are perfectly capable of taking notes and going back and finding the answers.

Aside from one kid who made a 68 the rest of them made in the 30s because they were too lazy to go back to their nose and look anything up and who gets in trouble for that? ME.

I am basically told I'm a shitty teacher, I have no classroom management skills, and I don't know what I'm doing if I cannot make six kids past their test.

Speaking of futility I don't know what it is about this year's set of kids that they have no memory for the smallest things.

When we got our library schedule I told every class Thursday is our library day. The next morning the first thing I heard;

"Are we going to the library today?"

"No, today is Tuesday we go on Thursday."

Next child in line coming in to class:

"Are we going to the library today?"

"No , today is Tuesday we go on Thursday."

Repeat from every single kid to walk into my classroom every single class all day. 108 kids!!!!And then the next day:

"MISS!!! Are we going to the library today?"

"No, today is Wednesday. We go on Thursday."

EVERY OTHER KID, EVERY CLASS, ALL DAY LONG FOR THE FIRST 4 MONTGS OF SCHOOL!!!

If something doesn't change I do not understand how these kids are going to be able to hold jobs or do or learn anything.

I just don't understand it. 85% of them are like this and it is really only the gifted and talented ones which are dwindling every single year that have even the most basic memory and recall ability much less critical thinking.