#everything is fucking pointless
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
feeling so fucking terrible today i don't even know if im gonna make it to october
#i just wanna curl up in my bed and fucking die#my ex was right about one thing#im the biggest fucking failure#and i will never do anything in this life#guess i should go and swim with sharks after all lol#everything is fucking pointless#we're all gonna die anyway#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
At the very least I need to raze ""hoofpeet"" to the ground and disappear from the internet; I think tumblr has ceased to be any kind of escape and instead become a constant inescapable reminder that I can never be real. and it doesn't seem like there's a point in continuing to post
#knowing life though. ig Hoof will probably come back before i can and go back to caring about pointless internet clout#edit; I'm NOT deleting everything dw . at the most i'll just leave this blog up and fuck off somewhere else#stoat just threw a bitchfit on main because i deleted the side acc i was using for venting and whatnot
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
never lay down in bed right after eating. don't think about staying on your phone for nearly two hours in that position. don't sleep either. acid reflux is real and i hate that guy
#uhhhh eat healthy and drink water etc etc#yknow. the exhausting but healthy things we gotta do to keep our silly billy bodies workin#i hate how this adds up to anxious thoughts djsfjdsbhjqklfehpiJADAASFGHJIOPA#i tried drawing today but it felt so draining and pointless#the floods + university strike + the cold + lack of routine + overall anxious thoughts but ig everyone is going through it too#i'm just glad my house is not under water now. my pets and things are all here and i do have blankets to warm myself with#but damn.#when your mind is not occupied with the routine it starts bothering you with unwanted thoughts#and it's not good when everyone else at home is going through the same stress#it feels just as hopeless and stressful as it was during the covid pandemic#in a way we are 'under quarantine' and isolated. unsure if it's gonna directly affect our lives.#i heard the water levels are rising quickly and people are coming in seeking public shelters...#lol idk how this went from acid reflux back to the floods. see that it's def something we can't stop worrying about rn.#what if i wake up with water on my ankles tomorrow? the videos we saw showed the water coming in so fast it's fucking scary#there was no way to just pack everything and move before it got worse.#starbstalks
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
Everything Everything | We're Never Sure If We're Right Or Wrong | Toazted (1/3)
#cleared my scratch disk its pointless gif time again. michael <3#everything everything#jonathan higgs#mike spearman#my gifs#hellkitepost#EDIT have i fucked up gif 1 yes i have. do i care enough to fix it no because my gifmaking process is a mess and it would take too long#ignore my bad files look at mike
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Game designers/visual artists going "yeah we'll minimize the narrative noise" while having literally zero expertise in storytelling/narration <33333
#thoughts#totk critical#it is SO painfully relatable#once I was in a meeting for a narrative game with designers#from a studio known for narrative games and praised for narrative games#going “yeah I legit don't give a fuck about story at all I just skip everything it's pointless to me I only care about mechanics”#to me and to my face btw!!!!!#here's the thing: verbose self-involved games that are too into their own mediocre story are a thing and they annoy me too#I do 100% agree that interactivity and player involvement will matter more always#(but also!! being engrossed in a good story IS inherently interactive and playful!!!!!! hgnnn!!!! anyway)#fun fact: that game ended up praised for its story and panned for its mechanics so oh well#should have maybe gave more of a fuck about narrative intent and the game would have been better and sold more maybe#crazy how these things happen#anyway sorry I'm a hater today
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
unfortunately the world is too fucking messed up so I am currently unable to give a shit about how messed up everything is because it's all too big and if I get upset about any of it my entire ability to be a person will come crashing in
normal service will resume as soon as possible
#red said#this is not a choice I'm making. to be clear.#it's just that after everything that's happened in the last year or so i am currently incapable of having a feeling beyond 'oh.'#just a kind of blank stare of 'this is certainly information i am recieving'#so I'm giving myself permission. to be numb to the horrors of the world for a short while.#because being mad at myself for not caring enough doesn't seem to be doing much to help and it's sapping me more#so i figure. i just accept that right now i cannot summon any strong reactions to things however much they deserve them#and hopefully a short time of that will help me rekindle my will to fight cause right now frankly I'm getting nowhere#I've still been trying to show up and do what i can but it feels so overwhelmingly pointless i think I'm actively undercutting myself#like I'm actively extending the period in which I can't fully commit myself to any cause or action#i can't even get angry any more and this shit deserves so much anger#but I've been angry for so long i think I've lost track of how to hold it as a live thing#I'm angry about 15 years of social murder in my own country. I'm angry about the ongoing violence against Palestine. I'm angry about Congo.#I'm angry about the death penalty in the US and I'm angry about the ongoing quiet genocide of First Nations people in Canada#and I'm angry about climate change I'm angry that people are burning and freezing around the world. I'm angry and I'm fucking scared#but none of that's GOING anywhere and none of it seems to be worth shit and at some point it just gets ossified#it's not like. a driving force at the moment. it's not propelling me it's not doing anything it's just a constant scab yk#i need. to feel like my anger has any kind of worth or does any kind of good. and that's not there it's just so built up.#i need too flush it out and start with it fresh and keen#cause at this stage yeah I'm just too tired by it to feel it intensely. it's just background noise.#i see the thing about Trump bringing back the federal death penalty or i watch my government debate how best to attack migrants#and I'm just like. 'oh. that's bad. that is a bad thing that's happening.' and i feel nothing#because at this point I'm so used to be information causing anger and fear and hopelessness that it doesn't like. register as a feeling.#this isn't happening about everything. i can still feel things on an interpersonal level. but that like. systems anger.#it's not landing cause i am so struggling emotionally to feel like i can do a single thing with it#like not just stuff happening Over There but here too. people i live being attacked out neglected by structural forces.#I'm succumbing to the 'oh. that's bad.' bc honestly i just have run out of road in being angry#i don't think it's permanent i think I'm just exhausted
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Nexus: alright, let’s see what this new guy’s ideal life is
Kirk’s subconscious:
#star trek#star trek generations#james kirk#jim kirk#angst#headcanon#if Picard hadn’t show up I think Kirk would have just lived his little comp-het fantasy for an indeterminate amount of time#before waking up one morning next to a two-dimensional parody of a woman in an empty house that isn’t even real#and realizing that he’s so fucking depressed#the nexus doesn’t know what to make him because he doesn’t know what he wants#so everything it tries to give him is flat and empty and pointless#priority one shitpost
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
starving for your flesh 🩸
#shut the fuck up hannah#me#personal#selfie#my face#fuck#mine#girls with piercings#self#motd#girls with body mods#girls with tattoos#alternative girls#low key going through my villian era#nothing matters#everything is pointless
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
//
#of all things this plane crash is rlly kinda fucking me ip#and like I get that it’s ~70 people killed in my city in a position I frequently am in#but yeah. it’s just hitting me a lot harder than these things normally do#and I rlly need to get actual work done (which admittedly feels very silly and pointless given everything)#nrgh#personal
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry. aventurine got me
it was the "chasing after your past self (who loves you and wants to encourage you and ease all your fears) through an amusement park while your future self (who hates you and spends every second disparaging and tormenting you) follows close behind" sequence. two seconds into that and i knew i was doomed
#DRAGGING MY HANDS DOWN MY FACE. UGHHHHHHHHHH#when baby kakavasha told current aventurine his eyes are pretty right after we were treated to that flashback of him telling jade that#he'd gouge them out and sell them if he could. fml#FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they did a REALLY good job with this guy. it came together really beautifully 🥹#him going from carelessly seeking his own death to accepting all the broken fucked up pieces of himself and coming to peace with it all#and realizing that just because everything ends with death doesn't make this world a pointless one#we can't change our final outcomes#but we can make lots of choices on our way to that final sleep... and create a magnificent journey full of precious memories#and that's the point of it all.#ahhhhhhhhhhhh
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
god, in the next life, please let me be born in the late 80s in california so i can go to animation school like calarts and work on powerpuff girls or my little pony and be a hipster in 2010s thank you!!!!!!
#I JUST WANNA MAKE CARTOONS BUT EVERY ART SCHOOL IN POLAND IS LIKE#why would you want to make a film in this technique…. what are you trying to project in this film… how queer#I WANNA DRAW SILLY SHIT LEAVE ME ALONEEEE#IM SO TIRED OF EXPLAINING EVERY TINY STEP OF MY PROCESS#I KNOW THATS THE POINT BUT GODDDDD#LET ME JUST ANIMATE DUMB SHIT FOR PEOPLE TO ENJOY#I HATE HAVING TO FIND AND EXPLAIN MEANING BEHIND EVERYTHING#WHY CANT IT ALL JUST BE POINTLESS#im speedrunning this degree and getting the fuck out#im truly beginning to detest the art world in the strangest way possible#cause at the end of the day i crave its approval#but i can tell that once im done with school it wont matter to me anymore#fuck man#all i wanted was to get a degree to make cool stuff for kids#and now im here#questioning if i was ever good enough for that in the first place#personal#sorry yall
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
not enough people are talking about how anthology of the killer ends with bb and zz achieving (or at least attempting to achieve) gnosis
#anthology of the killer#anthology of the killer spoilers#spoilers#the way the narrative and gameplay mess with like fictionality and reality and 'reality' and ritual is so so so compelling#everything is fake! its a stage! there is no ultimate substance to this reality!#not because its a video game *but because the same is true of our reality*- truth emerges through consensus#and ritual- collective and individual- can disrupt and alter that#thecatamites stephen gillmurphy really fucking gets how bizarre and disjointed Shitty Low-Status Urban Spaces are-#you think 'oh the map design is just being quirky' and then you go outside to buy something at a strip mall#and its exactly like A Corridor You Would Get Chased Down#meaningless little squares covered in rubble and trash and pointless oubliettes#which i think is also whats really heightening about the horror of the mulholland drive winkies diner scene BUT thats another thing#in many ways mulholland drive and Of The Killer are very similar stories...
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
at least i get to say that my hypochondriac delusions about dying soon weren't delusions at all lmao. small w
#not close to that stage yet but knowing that i wouldn't be eligible for a liver transplant should i need one terrifies me even more#maybe i'll make it to 30. maybe even 40 if i'm really lucky. but right now everything seems pointless#fucking autistic loser who has no friends or a general circle of people that like them or brings anything of value to society maybe this is#natural selection and my body's speeding up the process#idk man. looking back at all my struggles with classes this last year it all seems so pointless#i got so worked up and spent the last few months i had without this miserable because i was stressing over something that would never lead#anywhere. at least i have an excuse to drop it all now. an excuse to bedrot until i literally rot#sorry for doom posting blame my fucking immune system#romeo's wretched rambles
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I cannot be phased by the cheapening of Toby Fox characters I care about because Sans is like an eternal favorite character of mine and i am not kidding but anyway as someone trying to make cool shit on the internet in 2024 i think Spamton G Spamton is extremely accurate commentary
#i am 30 or 40 years old and i'm going to be cringe on main#i've been like legitimately sick with rage at the fucking pointlessness of Everything all day today i'm tired lol#this insane man in a dumpster understands me
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've thought a lot about the several thousand year old gnome druid we met who was just bitter and jaded and had spent most of those millennia sitting in one place not doing anything in particular except mourning her tiefling wife who'd died millennia ago, and how disgusted and infuriated with her melliwyk is, personally but also as a gnome herself-- and I'm thinking about it again like. honestly I think it goes beyond general cultural values; that level of willful ongoing stagnation and joyless nihilism is probably completely seriously a gnomish sin
#melliwyk-- viciously and also meaning it from the bottom of her heart: you might as well just be dead.#zhartook- a baby druid who has inherited tana's sort of cosmic role- came away from that meeting with existential dread#melliwyk's just SPITTING FIRE angry about it. what a WASTE. what a WASTE of a LIFE.#I'll be lucky to get a few CENTURIES and it won't be enough to squeeze as much LIVING out of life as possible!#other people are lucky to get even just a handful of decades!#and YOU!! who ought to KNOW BETTER!! don't even have A HOBBY?? you're sitting here talking about how POINTLESS EVERYTHING IS???#you married a tiefling and act like outliving your loved ones is uniquely tragic for you? like you wouldn't have done that anyway??#... ah I got possessed by mel's anger for a sec there gfkjhgfd. point is I think the real core of the most important gnome values#is that being alive and being a part of the world is a gift that you're meant to delight in and make the most of#it's your PURPOSE to seek joy and fun! it's your PURPOSE to INTERACT with the world creatively and inquisitively!#there's something almost blasphemous about PERMANENTLY and WHOLLY surrendering to despair#something heretical about talking confidently about how little anything matters and so there's no point in caring#tana's probably got turbo depression but her own hot take was just 'yeah kids this is what being alive this long does to you lol'#and mel is like. no I think you're just really fucking bad at it. like are you aware people are still writing new books#my OCs#melliwyk#gnome stuff
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing with dbh is that the obvious allegory is so heavyhanded it actually is immensely bad at doing anything useful for the audience but. at face value. some of the characters are intriguingly compelling.
#i think hank and connors story has the most substance#i used to think kara and alice too but the reveal about alice ruins everything for me LIKE#IF the whole point is that androids are intellectually indistinguishable from humans then alice is a bridge to the gap between them!!!!#her reveal makes the whole thing feel utterly pointless#so i live in a universe where that never happened bc it just pissed me off so fucking bad
4 notes
·
View notes