#this insane man in a dumpster understands me

[shinesurge]

I cannot be phased by the cheapening of Toby Fox characters I care about because Sans is like an eternal favorite character of mine and i am not kidding but anyway as someone trying to make cool shit on the internet in 2024 i think Spamton G Spamton is extremely accurate commentary

[askuemki]

So I have no idea if I’ll keep this post up, but…

A little rant abt re8?? (And cod.. kinda) maybe venting (just a mess :,)

Disclaimer, take my opinions with a grain of salt I just wanna ramble lmao

Also spoilers, maybe (update, definitely)

So I’ve been having fun dipping my toes into Donna Beneviento (god her last name is hard to spell) content. After watching the gameplays and to at least have a basic understanding for the game, I find myself really drawn to her, maybe more than Alcina tbh

By no means i’m a diehard fan or anything, recently it’s been hard to find a new fandom to get attached towards. As much as I adore cod, there isnt really much to get attached too… like sure, task 141 is a fun group and the there is some GREAT art about the ships- but I only got attached because of Valeria, I won’t deny it at all. I’m a diehard lesbian, but there isn’t really much cannon content of her?? It’s really damn disappointing sometimes, man… same with Laswell. I appreciate all of the fanartists out there though, I adore all of the content here, fanfics or fan art. With Farah, she’s a diffrent story.. personally I never really got attached to her, but as a character she’s pretty neat. Her story sort of brings to light the horrors happening today which is a bit of a benefit…?? But ever since I found out things about both Valeria’s and Farah’s actors I’ve been a little off about things here and there. I don’t think I’ll stop posting Valeria content at all, it just might be a little less offen to indulge in different things.

Some personal things have been happening to make me feel really disconnected from like.. fucking everything for some reason?? Like I’m drifting away from fandoms, I’m drifting away from people and I’m like alone again.. I’m lost in a damn dumpster fire. AI art doesn’t help with this at all.. like why do I draw?? I’ve been drawing since I was in kindergarten like I never really thought of the specifics of perusing art, more or so just that I want to. Like hey, I wanna make a game or movie series, and something in me doesn’t realize I need to put in the effort to learn shit with just ends up in me doing nothing but self pitting on something I can change and ugh.. wish I can slap myself to get out of it.

So I think I’ve been kind of finding myself relating to Donna. Not in her extreme way, more or so just her aspect of being isolated, and just being known primarily for one thing. Like.. our side of art? Damn. Shit. I think I’m worth nothing.. and with Donna we don’t really know much about her besides her being a cursed Dollmaker, and the bare bones of her past. And we both barely fucking speak man… both hide our faces too !! maybe I kin this woman or something I don’t know

But as I was looking through her tumblr tag, I saw a rant about how headcannons and stuff has been stripping away the interesting stuff about the re8 villains… and with the things I’ve seen so far?? I can kinda agree, honestly.

Don’t get me wrong, if it’s not too.. insane? (I know those boundaries are hard to define at times, but maybe REALLY immoral shit for our “normal” world) and people aren’t forcing these headcannons into other people? I don’t mind headcannons. You do you, boo!

But the fan content I’ve seen, people reduce Donna and Alcina (I’m surprised it was pronounced as AlCHIna and not AlSIna, but side tangent over) from the potential they really have. Yeah it’s definitely nice to see Donna more, especially in those intimate moments.. but sometimes I feel like people just depict her as some shy, easily gullible, girl, and not really the mentally deprived woman she is. Like I’d love to see ideas of the different dolls Donna could create, or unique imagery of her mental state outside of having porcelain skin. What about the kinds of plants she takes care of? Or the dolls she makes? I’d love to see more of it, whether she has favorites, or if it’s a situation where she has doll replicas of her deceased family. Man, I really wanna see Donna do more creepy shit, basically.

With Alcina however? She’s kind of reduced to that (I’m going to cringe at these words so terribly, god help me) “hot vampire mommy”.. I’ll take fault for not looking into her content as much, I’m sure there’s great content out there !! (I’m not sure if anyone would do this but.. feel free to send me any fic recommendations or art) With what I want to see for her? I’ve heard from the rant post as a man-hating woman she had primarily female statues in her castle, it would be fun to see what else she has cause of this worldview, as well as more whitty remarks from her; I really enjoy her throwback with Heisenberg. Just in general.. her being a comical villain.

Okay so, the reason why I made this post in the first place before all of this shit threw up from my brain. Belladonna. At first, this ship really interested me, I like the character dynamics, the art was neat. But then something came up in my mind.. (as well as another rant post on the ship..) isn’t the Dimitrescu bloodline related with Donna? Both are failed experiments from Mother Miranda, and technically adopted by her. Though from what I know, Donna is the only one officially adopted. So would that be family..? I’ve seen a few places where Alcina called Donna her sister, and it makes me feel really off.

And I’ve seen in a few fanarts, Donna technically older than the Dimitrescu sisters posed next to them like another sibling??

I would like to endorse the ship, but just the morality of everything is off centered for me. I rather not support weird incest…

So please if people could maybe clarify for me whether it would technically be okay for support this ship.. I’d appreciate it. If it isn’t okay, I have plans on making a fan character anyways, or I can take current characters and make a resident evil au or something, and ship them when Donna. (I have a character that honestly looks like a mix of Alcina and Bela, but by no means she’s relates to the franchise, lmao)

By no means I’m experienced in resident evil lore or the fandom, this is just coming from a newer fan of the series, and what I’ve seen so far.

If you read all of this.. thank you?? I apologize if I sound ridiculous here, this is like the only place I can rant abt things without being brushed off for other shit

Good night now!!! I need to stop pushing my sleep boundaries ugh

[sibyl-of-space]

oh my god so a while ago i submitted the amadeus demo to a certain not-to-be-named indie event, not really expecting it would be accepted but figuring it's worth a shot and either way i get feedback. right.

now i have had... mixed... experiences with the particular group putting on this event. i think they do some genuinely awesome work and provide an invaluable service, but the overall community still feels wholly unprepared for anything even remotely artsy or weird. like even though it's an indie scene it feels very normie core. i don't even consider amadeus that artsy or weird, but i am occasionally reminded that i may have a skewed frame of reference compared to a lot of folks.

(a few months ago i attended a narrative feedback thing with them that was such a dumpster fire it pissed me off so bad i went and wrote 43790248932 paragraphs about it on here. like just genuinely some "have you, like, ever read a book?" tiers of utterly baffling "criticism." one of them pointed out to me that i may not have considered this, but Amadeus comes off as slightly rude. ....NO FUCKING SHIT.)

anyway. i submitted the demo because i figured the feedback would be useful, i can use any positive quotes in future trailers, etc. i have as of today learned that the game didn't get in and also received the promised feedback.

first of all i think it says a lot that from seeing in the email "we regret to inform you," my response was oh thank fuck. I don't really want to deal with tabling at an event cuz I have other shit going on and would rather focus on finishing the game since I've just made a lot of decisions I'm excited about; they also didn't get these responses back far enough in advance to actually prepare tabling materials if I HAD been accepted so it would have been more stress than anything else. I've also been salty at things like the above narrative feedback debacle so I was absolutely just like "this is completely fine with me."

But I made the mistake of reading the feedback provided and now I am going insane again.

TO BE FAIR! SOME OF THE FEEDBACK IS GENUINELY THOUGHTFUL, I may take or leave a lot of it, some of it raises good points I've already addressed, some of it clearly understands what I'm going for etc. I appreciate all of that.

But man some of this is pissing me offfffffffffff.

Some quotes that are making me particularly want to kill someone:

"When first meeting the witch the dialog is just incredibly long and boring and I ended up skipping through most of it. Given how linear this story seems to be, I think it would be better suited as a webcomic or a motion comic, not a visual novel."

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD NOVEL MEANS. JESUS CHRIST.

I am extrapolating a hint of potentially meaningful feedback from this which I'm already addressing (the personality of the Witch in that conversation should come through more than it does) - but this person gave that "feedback" in the douchiest most insufferable way possible. Luckily for them, I've since made that conversation even longer. Fuck off.

"Some of the music is very harsh and dissonant while being very repetitive, which made me less enthusiastic about listening to it."

This was the same person which just tells me they have no taste. Like hmm I wonder if there was an intentional reason I am using dissonance in the soundtrack about someone going through something insanely fucked up. The repetition is an understandable critique even if I'll be ignoring it, but "some of the music is harsh and dissonant" is not a valid critique. Soundtracks aren't supposed to just sound like nice flowery music all the time, or at least not good ones. I'll be making the full soundtrack more dissonant just for you.

"Is there a reason for the Amadeus's bracers to be colored in but not the rest?"

[different person] THIS . THIS. F. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

NO. THERE'S NO REASON. I TRIPPED AND FELL AND ACCIDENTALLY ONLY SOMEHOW ENDED UP COLORING HIS ARMS IN EVERY SINGLE ASSET THAT DEPICTS HIM BY ACCIDENT SOMEHOW! THANK YOU FOR CATCHING THIS OVERSIGHT! SILLY ME!!!! IM TEARING MY HAIR OUT

"Not all of the music is equally fitting. There's at least one track that gets a bit techno."

yeah and im adding another track inspired by Bad Taste Aquarium from Sonic Adventure and another one that's basically GoldenSlaughterer 2. girl help I'm being "critiqued" by lame people with absolutely no taste

im so glad i read this after i finished moving my to-do lists to a new project management platform and getting really excited/motivated about where i'm at with the game because if i had seen this 2 days ago it would have just fucking killed my motivation. man. it's literally so hard being the only person with #vision

[inzaghisgirlfriend]

Rewatch!

Step into a time machine with me, if you will, and let it whisk us back to March of 2021.

Simpler times, then, n'est ce pas? We're but a year into a global pandemic, and I am clinging by a thread to my sanity and, without knowing it, mere weeks away from my first covid vaccine and the freedom and return to normalcy it will immediately and entirely provide* (spoiler, this did not pan out 100%).

I have joined twitter, as one does, out of desperation, because tumblr is a dumpster fire everyone is fleeing from for a site that isn't being ruined by a poorly-effectuated rebranding, unchecked hate, weird algorithm issues, and corporate nickel and diming. Funny how those things come full circles sometimes...

There, as here, I am following a lovely person who makes exceptional gifsets and has extraordinary taste in television (ifykyk). Her timeline has begun to fill with odd gifs of besuited and beautiful Korean people and otherwise context-free shouts into the void like "sexy lawyers" and "murder hornets!!"

Understand that, while it seems insane now that I've watched roughly 40 and would have to physically restrain myself from doing something embarrassing should I meet the man, there was once a time in my life when I had never watched a Korean drama nor even heard of Song Joong Ki.

As time goes by, though, my terror and confusion on twitter give way instead to a persistent feeling of intrigue and envy.

Because I realize there is a lot of shouting. And amongst other people with exceptional taste. I have been trapped in my house with the same people and walls and 8 meals and 23 minute walk around the block I'd seen and done and lived for the last year. So the appeal of disappearing through the tv to a place with hot people dressed up nice in a place I'd never thought much about before grew and grew. Even if there's trained murder hornets there.

So I open a shady-ass site with a seriously committed ad server Netflix on my phone and curl up and watch, stunned, the absolute best fucking 20 minutes of any TV intro I've ever fucking seen.

We're now nearly 3 years beyond that point, and I've met exceptionally interesting and funny and brilliant people and seen the most gorgeous gifsets and fanart you can imagine and read a ridiculous amount of fanfic (and written perhaps a little here and there, give or take 750,000 words) and headcanoned every possible scenario you can imagine and even flew to the other side of the world and stood in the middle of Seoul, not only amidst the pigeons of 'Geumga Plaza', but also between the parted legs of a building-high cutout of Song Joong Ki.

But I've never, ever rewatched the show in its entirety from start to finish.

So, with that in mind, away we go. A second time.

[ad-astra-per-asparagus]

Ok dumping my thoughts right here now that I’ve collected them since reading Batman 138. It’s a doozy, so bear with me.

Honestly, the premise of Gotham War is intriguing and could’ve been good if not for the sloppy execution. It’s interesting to see Bruce’s psyche rapidly declining, but how Zdarsky is going about it is ham-fisted and forced. First off, Selina’s method is outlandish and riddled with plot holes. There’s no skirting around that. Now logically I could see the batfamily members not declaring an allegiance to either side because both Bruce and Selina are in the wrong here; Bruce is losing his mind because Zur is hijacking it while Selina thinks training criminals will magically solve all violent crime in Gotham and everything will be sunshine and rainbows. But having the kids blindly fall into line with Selina because they agree with her plan is dogwater writing that I’m surprised Zdarsky cooked up after his spectacular Daredevil run. Have them form their own faction and let them actually act like they have agency and purpose instead of shoving them into roles that don’t fit.

Now I’m a little skeptical on the whole Jason/failsafe stuff. On one end, it’s a daring concept to play with. It shows how Bruce is going off the deep end and raises the stakes of the plot. On the other end, it’s going to drive an enormous wedge between Jason and Bruce for the foreseeable future. Like, there is no forgiving Bruce for this easily. Maybe that’s a good thing though, considering Jason for the past few years has been cycling through the same character arc over and over again like a washing machine that spits out clothes that are more worn-out after every load. Taking him out of the batfamily fold and inserting him into his own corner of DC sequestered away from Batman might actually force DC to write him organically, depending on whether or not Jason doesn’t go insane himself because what Bruce did to him was quite literally torture that will now be perpetual. Wowza.

My next gripe is the timing between comics. Batman and Robin’s timeframe is vague, but after reading 138 it makes zero sense why Damian would steadfastly stick by Bruce’s side—unless of course B&R happens way later, and somehow Bruce regains minor control of his mental state. Or the most realistic explanation being that the writers didn’t communicate the timelines, leaving their stories to contradict each other. But what are comics if not zany contradictions of stories? So I guess this gripe can slide…for now. Benefit of the doubt to Williamson at least because he planned B&R way in advance, meanwhile Gotham War was strung together as a myopic copy of Marvel’s Civil War in order to—I’m spitballing here—have Bruce be alone for a while in his own comics because he’s “a loner”…despite his character being, at his core, a family man, and whose character revolved around family for decades. Family rift stories can be good. Packed with drama. Exciting. This is none of the above.

Finally, arguably my biggest complaint about this dumpster fire, is Tim. Writers tend to be biased toward characters, I understand that, but when favoritism bleeds into the writing it sours the story altogether. Having Tim assume this role of “Bruce’s savior” is incredibly cheap and a little laughable at times. I see that they’re trying to establish him as important again, reliving his glory days as the Robin who helped guide Bruce back onto the right path after Jason’s death, but throwing other characters under the bus to lift him up is crazy. Especially Damian, because Damian saved his dad’s life twice in the last few months. Seriously, I’d brush it off if Tim hadn’t told Damian he was the one who helped Bruce out of the darkness while Damian only pushed Bruce further into it. Paraphrasing, but that’s the general idea: Tim is a saint and the rest of his siblings (Cassandra? Who?) are a cut below him when it comes to helping dear old dad out of his bad place. That hug was cute, but it was sugar spread on a pile of shit.

[theflagscene]

How was the move? I see you posting more so I guess you finally got internet ^_^

I did get internet connection finally, thankfully. The move was pretty smooth considering how hectic the lead up to it was, the man that helped me move was the kindness sweetest person, I couldn’t have been more thankful to him. He left his family on the first day of Eid to help me move, I honestly couldn’t have done it without him.

I’ve been in my new place for a full week now, there were a couple of really rough patches at first, but I’m still here and I’ve got a fantastic support system that is willing to move heaven and Earth to help me along this new path of healing. I still have no furniture besides a bed, the place is pretty empty but I’m still really happy with it. I feel bad because it’s been really hot and humid and I have no AC, just a fan, so my cat and dog are spending a lot of time laying in front of it and hogging it lol. But I don’t mind, I’m just glad to have them with me.

I’m not in the best area - geographically - but it’s amazing how much I’m enjoying this tiny shoebox apartment. I took some garbage down today and met one of the weekend superintendents and he was like: oh, you’re new here!

And I was just like: yes, yes, I just moved in.

We chatted while walking to the dumpster and when I said yes when he asked me if I liked it here, he kind of looked at me oddly and went: really?

And I said yes, I do like it here. It’s very quiet - another odd look - Oh, well I live pretty high up, I imagine the lower floors are bit more lively.

He just laughed and nodded in agreement, and that’s when it hit me. To me this place is a place of solace, a saviour. To other people it’s trash, the ‘ghetto’ or just plain gross. To this man who works here and sees the worst of the tenants, he thinks it strange that a single woman who carries a small dog in her arms to the dumpster with her would find this place nice, quiet and peaceful. I’m sure if he walked into my empty apartment and saw what little I had, he’d think me entirely insane lol!

But I am happy to be where I am currently and I’m hoping to get an AC soon - for my poor pets, they didn’t sign up for this heat - and after that the next piece of furniture I’d like to get is a small sofa or a couple of chairs, just so I have somewhere to sit and eat besides on the floor or my bed.

I’ll leave you with the adorable picture of my 13 year old cat and my 9 year old dog, not quite understanding that cuddling in front of the fan defeats the purpose of laying in front of the fan lol.

[outshinethestars]

Vacation (Daredevil/MCU fic)

Matt should never have let Peter drag him into this.  Hydra was not Matt’s problem.  Avengers Bullshit was not Matt’s problem.  Matt was not a man who should ever be in the vicinity of Tony Fucking Stark.

But Peter had the best damn puppy dog eyes (puppy dog voice?) anyway, he had Matt wrapped around his finger, the little shit.  Which led to this situation.  Matt, depowered and captured by Hydra along with a similarly depowered Spider-man and Tony Stark in his underwear.

“What about Daredevil?  We need to tie him up?”  Asked Hydra goon number one.

“He’s the blind one, idiot,” Hydra goon number two said.

So they knew about that.  That was… not ideal.  But at least it was one thing Matt didn’t have to worry about them finding out.

The hydra goons dumped them in a room and locked the door, but did not otherwise restrain them.

It was nice to be underestimated.

Matt prodded at one of the ribs he’d bruised earlier that night.  It didn’t hurt at all.  Or, well, technically it did, he supposed it hurt about as much as bruised ribs usually did, but it was so much less than Matt was used to that he had to consciously think about it to register the pain at all.  That.  Hm.  That could potentially be very bad.  According to Claire, Matt’s reaction to grievous bodily harm was “not normal” and “insane” as it was, but with the levels his pain response was at now, he’s pretty sure that if his guts were ripped out his natural reaction would be to go “huh. That kinda smarts”.  He’d have to pay attention to remember to treat any injuries he received with the respect they deserved.  For right now, though, the lack of pain was really, really nice.

Matt’s world was no longer on fire.

Foggy once described the “this is fine” meme to him.

“I’m describing this to you because you need this in your life, Matt,” Foggy had said, “I need you to understand that you are the dog in this picture.”

“Ah, yes,” Matt had nodded knowingly, “The world on fire.”

Foggy had accused him of being willfully obtuse.

And okay, yes.  Matt recognized the point Foggy had been trying to make there, and yes he had willfully ignored it.  But also, Matt’s world was on fire.

Matt’s everything had been burning all around him since he was a kid, and he’d just had to learn to live with that, turned it to his advantage, even.  But that didn’t change the fact that it was on fire, that everything was too hot and too loud and too much, that everything hurt, that it was like that everywhere all the time without a moment's peace.

It was quiet now, calm.  Damn restful.

Of course, everything wasn’t actually fine, it just felt that way.  Hydra still had them captured, Matt’s life continued to be a dumpster fire, it’s just that right now he couldn’t see it.

But, well, out of sight out of mind, right?

Peter and Stark were also here.  Peter was a smart kid, and Stark was a self proclaimed genius, surely they could handle this situation.  Matt was just a blind lawyer.  Did this, any of this, have to be his problem?

No, actually, it did not.

Just this once, Matt would leave the rescuing to other people.

“I’m gonna take a nap,” Matt said, “Wake me up when you have an escape plan.”

Stark and Peter protested this loudly, but they were blissfully easy to tune out, they sounded about three blocks away.

Matt curled up on the cold hard floor that felt far less cold and hard than he was used to and fell almost instantly asleep.

Matt was woken up when one of the hydra goons came in to interrogate them.

He didn’t wake up when the guy shouted at him to get up, he slept through people shouting every night.  He didn’t wake up when the guy kicked him in his bruised ribs, he likewise slept through far worse stabs of pain on at least a weekly basis.

His inner ear, however, still worked along the same principles, if not quite to the same standards, that it usually did.  So when the hydra goon roughly picked him up, Matt’s sleeping brain went, “Why the fuck am I vertical?” And he finally woke up.

Newly awakened Matt worked blearily on autopilot.  He punched the guy roughly manhandling him, who screamed in pain and surprise before Matt choked him out.

“Oops,” Matt said, as the unconscious goon slid to the floor.  He had no idea how Stark and the kid wanted to play this, and knocking out the hydra goon put them on a time crunch, it would only be so long before his buddies came in to check on him.

“So, how goes the plan?”  Matt asked.

It was quiet for one long moment, and then Peter said softly, “Holy shit.”

(There was, it turned out, no plan as of yet.  So Matt employed his usual fallback of winging it.  Matt is to this day not entirely sure of the details of what happened, but he did get to punch several people very hard, and he kept Peter from getting shot until Stark managed to get his ass in gear and jury rig  a distress signal to call in the rest of the Avengers.  Matt got to meet Captain America while tying a hydra goon to a giant potted plant, with Tony Stark standing around uselessly in his boxers, so on the whole it proved to be an excellent vacation.)

[ionlylikemycat]

okay my mother has been wanting to get a dumpster for years, she has it all planned, she has people who have agreed to help us, and father is all “i don’t want that i’ll just make the dump runs we shouldn’t do that wah wah wah my man feelings are hurt” and for. YEARS. i have been saying just do it anyway you don’t need his permission or for him to be on board you can do things and he can just be upset kicking and screaming like the baby man he is but she’s just like no it’s a marriage thing and like maybe i don’t understand marriage but

the IDEA that i would Not Do Something that would improve the quality of life for me and everyone who lives in my house bc a man’s FEELINGS would be HURT??? is fucking INSANE it’s just a Man what does it matter

do it anyway for fucks sake

[jaggedwolf]

pll rewatch 1x11-1x14

rapid fire version

1x11: Moments Later

at the end of the 1A finale I joked that if the teenage girls had the presence of mind to read off the license plate off the car that hit their friend, this show would be over a lot faster.

I was wrong because it turns out the car was stolen, A does think of everything

poor Emily on the stairs listening to her parents discuss her coming out as if she announced she committed a felony or some shit (Wayne, essentially: man I'm not happy about this but I saw dudes die in Afghanistan so I think our daughter kissing girls is fine.)

random bit I like: all four girls are in the hospital room, and while Spencer updates an injured Hanna about the Ali + Ian tree stump being cut down, Emily and Aria have a quiet aside about how coming out to her parents went

LABOR DAY!!!

1x12: Salt Meets Wound

when going over how weird her parents have been since she came out, Emily mentions "changing the channel when Ellen comes on". Wild.

Aria tells Maya that if she does wear jeans and not a dress to the Fields house, make sure the jeans are ironed. What do you bet the first time Aria came over to Emily's with dyed hair that Pam was like oh...how interesting...your parents let you do that...I see... (Sudden theory that Aria's parents are the least bonkers when it comes to directly taking care of their kids and this is why they got stuck with the intractable problem of Aria/Ezra, in this essay I will-)

RIP Spencer/Alex, they quite liked each other, why did you even care about this A. Can't have Spencer happy.

Wayne had a good time at dinner, Pam witnessed lesbian footsie and went into a full blown crisis, of which Emily had to hear a bit of. Poor Emily.

Did like the note that Maya was actually very stressed but felt obligated to act cool and casual for Emily's sake.

He's a dick these couple of episodes, but Lucas is most understandable when explaining why he destroyed the memorial, it must drive the kids Ali tormented insane that they have to hear the other kids and adults go on about how great she was...there are a couple of other characters whose opinions on the memorial/similar I'm curious about

There's a scene that ends with Toby ominously taking a tool to his ankle monitor, and then when we cut back to it he's just uselessly hitting it in frustration. Oh, Toby.

Spencer and her dad have a completely normal father-daughter conversation complaining about the whole Ian/Melissa thing and Ian leaving his boxes everywhere. Her dad says if he knew she was around they could've watched the game in the living room instead of him watching it with the volume off in the bedroom to not bother Veronica - I am arbitrarily deciding that Spencer and her dad watch ice hockey together.

1x13: Know Your Frenemies

The other liars are very cutely happy about how cutely happy Emily/Maya are here - Emily in this relationship must seem very different to the Emily with Ben they knew. All of the liars are getting to know each other again in S1, but I find it especially fun with the others reacting to Emily

Hanna with the cupcakes :( Hanna in the binging flashback :(

Hanna staring in the mirror trying to figure out how her mom can tell when she's lying <3

Toby's life is such a nightmare. Spencer stares at him suffering in school and crying next to a dumpster in an alley and contemplates if perhaps Toby Cavanaugh possesses emotions

Pam digging through Maya's bag (which reveals a mix CD Emily made for her!), opening a tin, finding a joint, telling Maya's parents about the joint...

All of that really didn't register to me as a teenager but as an adult these are Pam's actions so far that age worst for me. Especially when it gets Maya sent to a troubled teen/wilderness boot camp, which is a terrible industry with plenty of proven negatives. No teenager needs to be institutionalized for doing some weed, and Maya's not even the lazy stoner stereotype. Ugh.

Oh I wonder if the writers did this plot because Emily in the books gets sent to one of those conversion therapy camps and decided to flip it

The Ali/Ian video is such a good piece of evidence. 10/10 on how it's framed.

1x14: Careful What U Wish 4

The dance-a-thon is to raise money for a school trip to DC, which is why there are cardboard cutouts of Obama and Clinton around.

Caleb is here! I like that his first full conversation is Emily going "get me my phone faster, I'll pay you more, no you don't have time to eat so I'm not buying you food". He talks to Hanna and Spencer this episode too. Good introduction all around.

ofc none of the girls just transfer the video to a USB stick....girls...maybe Caleb can start there with basic computer tips....

Aria's behaviour with Ezra and Simone is so embarrassing this episode, poor Spencer had to ask Ezra to dance to defuse shit and now has to live with that. This is in between comforting Emily about Maya and breaking into Ian's office. Spencer really accomplished the multi-tasking this episode.

Love everything about A bribing Hanna into dancing with Lucas, Hanna repeatedly saying yes despite how it hurts the boys because she would always pick her mom first, Emily noticing this in her drunken despair and telling Hanna it was just like how Ali treated her

is this the first time we have a character explicitly compare Hanna to Ali? Ouch if so.

Hanna and Spencer escorting drunk Emily to Spencer's house and the former tucking her in are still a great couple of scenes. ("I can open my own damn door!")

Does Spencer know who the shadow following Alison is? She says no to Hanna, but the girls do keep secrets from each other...

[kassandras-one-braincell]

What's your favorite League of Legends character? You can talk about it with me if you want. If not, I understand. But I usually feel better when I talk about what I like to somebody who'll listen.

If you don't want to and I'm accidentally crossing boundaries, please let me know.

But if you do, I'll be here for you.

: )

Anyone is welcome to come and chat, so please don't worry about overstepping a boundary there! And this is very sweet of you :)

My favourite character is Pantheon. I think the story of Atreus is a beautiful example of the resolve of humankind: a man who was never the greatest warrior, deemed unworthy by an Aspect of War after surviving the most treacherous and gruelling quest in Runeterra. Yet despite being frowned upon, his resilience was the sole reason his mortal vessel survived the undertaking of the Aspect, and subsequently the subduing of a malevolent deity. His mortal psychology prevailed over that of the god inhabiting him, and he yearns to redefine the virtues of war. His attitude sings through his voice lines and theme song. Immaculate voice work, insane design, really fun gameplay.

My other two faves are Jhin and Miss Fortune in terms of lore, but I love their gameplay too. Master Yi's lore is a work of art, but his gameplay is a dumpster fire and I'd rather he didn't exist. I won't ramble further though lmao because I could do that for days

[wasterella]

okokok, so I know you’re not in SnK anymore (i respect that bc i fell out of it in 2015 and came back like a couple months ago lmao) but i just want you to know I’m so glad I’ve found and read your fics. Good Enough to Eat is like my fucking ereri bible, every ereri fic i read I’m like :// “but would GEtE!Levi do this?” LMAO really when i finished reading every single one of ur snk fics i audibly groaned bc i thought that now i have to wade through the piles of really shitty ereri fics on the tag that have insane kudos (and I’ve already reread GEtE, which is my utmost favorite of ur ereri fics, twice already)

I do know teen wolf though (seen every episode) but like you’ve said to other people, i fell out of it and don’t feel the urge rn to come back but when i do (and who knows when that’ll be, a couple months or years from now? I’ll circle back eventually), I’m immediately hitting the books with ur long list of fics for that fandom!

and reading ur reaction to the plot of SnK is so funny to me bc that’s exactly how I reacted when i came back to half the people dead and other mind blowing shit like eren having a brother lmao! Frankly i wanna watch it (i only saw season 1 bc that was all there was at the time) but i think I’m gonna stop at season 3 and pretend like the plot didn’t do a 180 and start flying off the map bc I’m not crazy about the end game plot lol also mainly bc season 3 levi gives the same energy as the exact way u write levi it’s so comforting

wow this was a very long ask I’m so sorry but i just felt like i had to say something after i tried to do the walk of shame back to the general ereri tag and felt miserable, truly i love your writing so so much i feel like i could trust heart and mind with ur writing and i wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not I’m gonna like reading a fic, bc if it’s yours i know i will. I hope you’re doing well these days and that ur have a blast with Derek and stiles :)

You are so, so sweet, omg ;~; Thank you so much! Seriously, I really appreciate it, and I'm so glad you liked GEtE!!! It was so fun to write (and honestly what made me move from SnK to TW so whoops? lol Turns out I like writing about Werewolves HAHAHA!) Seriously, you're so sweet, thank you so much!! 💕💕

Awww, that means a lot to me, thank you! I know a lot of people have fallen out of TW, both because it ended and because of HOW it ended (and the dumpster fire that was the movie recently) but idk, I like the characters. I never even saw past season 4, so I just have fun with it haha. But totally understand the falling out of it. If you ever do come back, I hope you know there's tooooons of new TW stuff out there from so many amazing new creators to enjoy :)

WAIT EREN HAS A BROTHER?! Omg when tf did that happen??? Did he knows? Is he a half-brother? Was he hidden in the basement?! IS THAT WHAT IS IN THE BASEMENT?!?!?! Man, SnK... the series that keeps on giving me explosions in the brain. Wow. Well. I don't even know who all is alive or dead anymore tbh haha. They could all be dead by now and I'd never know |D Oh wellll... But thank you ;~; That's amazing to hear about S3 Levi, thank you so much!!!

You are just the sweetest bean, thank you so, so much. For real, this ask was lovely, you are lovely, and this was so kind. I appreciate you so much, thank you!! <3<3<3

[caught-a-ghost]

~time for a reread~

it's been well over a year since i read down to agincourt the first time. the deancas slowburn, the worldbuilding, and the brilliant cast of oc's you come to adore. i completely fell in love with it.

spn a la tolkien baby~

since i have a terrible memory i kinda wanna document some of my reread. feel free to filter #dragonfly rereads dta. this is for my own personal enjoyment more than anything else and it's not going to be that deep. i'm just using this to remember shit.

since i know people want to read it for that bookclub thing soon (awesome!) i'm putting the first one of these under a cut since i'm not going to be spoiler free. please block my tag if you want to avoid those!

chapter 1 here we go

"I promised Sam they'd be together in the end," Lucifer tells him, shrugging to rearrange his still immaculate coat. "Don't worry, Cas, he'll be fine. From what I understand, he had a pretty good time the first time. He'll adapt." "No," Castiel answers. "He won't." Lucifer looks up from his sleeve, a pitying smile freezing on his lips, eyebrows knitting together in dawning confusion. "What--where is he?" "How would I know?" he answers curiously. "Slaughtering the reapers was possibly a miscalculation on your part. Without their guidance, it's very easy to get lost."

god i think we're seeing a remnant of the cas who made Thee Deal here. and i think he used it to secure the safety of endverse dean's soul. im gonna cryy 😭

Pausing at the door of the jeep, Castiel hesitates briefly, and a surge of adrenaline hits him hard enough to make his hands shake, don't stop as clear as if the words were spoken in his ear, don't look back. Only Orpheus was stupid enough not to listen to warnings delivered without ambiguity; it's too rare to get one of those to discard with impunity. I don't want to hurt you. Castiel stiffens, turning to search the empty parking lot. "What?" There's nothing but the lack of breeze to answer him.

i completely did not remember this bit and it's driving me insane. who are youuuuuu (one of the goddesses we've already met or someone new 👀)

and i forgot how much i love this cas! cas: ~only orpheus was stupid enough to turn around~ also cas: *turns around a second after having that thought*

"Why'd you do that to your hand?" Dean asks, settling beside him again; a hunter even now, eliciting information from the most useless of witnesses at the most pointless of all times. "Cas?" "I don't remember."

that cut was totally made for Thee Deal 👀

While he guessed the reason Dean was going into the city, it didn't occurred to him that Dean might not even know where it was he had appeared.

they're both missing time scully, they're both missing time

"Eventually I have to sleep, and I would prefer to do so with some assurance I'll wake up." "You think…" Dean stares at him. "I'm not gonna kill you, Cas, Jesus!" "Do you give your word?" Castiel asks, smiling slowly at Dean's horror. "Unless I take your soul as collateral, why on earth should you keep it?"

they're so messy <3 they have no fucking idea <3

It's been a week since he got here, suddenly scrambling for footing behind broken dumpster and staring at eight demons surrounding an armed man that even after three years Dean would recognize anywhere. The skinny, slumping mortal body in a too-big jacket with an indifferent hold on a rifle stared at him with the infinite blue eyes of an angel who might have traded his sword for a gun and immortality for the dirt of humanity, but had never stopped being a soldier. And very abruptly, to the surprise of those demons, he seemed to remember just that.

aaack i need to knoooow. were these demons a part of it??? is this where it happened??? (wasn't there some kind of reality damage that started in the city? was it here?) were the demons taken off-guard bc they had just worked together with cas and suddenly cas didn't remember??

what is the timeline here? dean seems to have been brought in before endverse dean's death. why??

seperis does this thing in particular that drives me completely bananas (in a good, but feral way). they'll drop little nuggets of information that feel off in the moment, ignore it until later, and then hit you with the realisation that the nugget hinted at a massive reveal or character moment (the fucking spanish thing!)

i'm not likely to do these for every chapter. just those damn nuggets

i also skipped most of the ancient rome stuff the first time around and im wondering if i should stick those out this time 🤔

excited though 👀

[bluethespiai]

Fictober Day Seven

Prompt: #6 “Adaptable, I like that.” Fandom: DC Comics (the Flash) Characters: James Jesse, Hartley Rathaway, Barry Allen Rating: PG

"So, what's your plan now?" the Trickster asked, as easily as if they were just standing at a bar. Hartley didn't answer, and not just because he needed to save his breath for running.

"The Flash really scuppered your plans with that sound-sucking tornado," Trickster continued, apparently not understanding that silence was a rebuke, "and I'm sure the cops'll be handing out earplugs by now."

Hartley skidded into the next alley and ducked behind a dumpster. He peered around the corner cautiously. Good, they'd - he grabbed Trickster by the ankle and hauled him down - they'd lost the cops, and the Flash would still need a minute or two to round up all the civilians. He had some breathing space at least. Time to think up a new plan, something clever, something ingenious, something that would be much easier to think of without the distraction of a pair of garishly colored leggings (it was definitely the leggings that were distracting, not - whatever was inside them) dancing around his head

"I was doing fine until you came along," Hartley snapped.

The Trickster snorted. "You were? So, your plan involved the Flash spinning you around like a top? You're more interesting than you look. And that's saying something," he added, casting a look over Hartley's outfit.

"Says the man dressed like a walking, talking hazard sign," Hartley retorted.

The Trickster just grinned and folded his legs beneath him so he was sitting cross-legged half an inch off the ground. Hartley had to admit he was jealous. This alley was filthy. He leveled an intimidating look at the Trickster and ignored the way his lip quirked.

"All right, what was your plan, genius?"

"Oh, it was genius. See, I had it all rigged up. Three bombs, yeah, hidden all around the city, and they all go off together. At the exact same time, I cut all the lights to the Museum and sneak in. I place this clever little device -" he pulled something that looked like a cheap plastic dinosaur out of his pocket - "on the glass of the display case and voila -" He jiggled his hands like a dancer, pressed something on the bottom of the dinosaur and it, his hand, and his arm all the way to his elbow disappeared. "It's gone!" 

Hartley reached out cautiously and touched his fingertips to the Trickster's. "But it's still there?"

Trickster nodded.

"Then how do you get it out of the museum?"

"That's the best part! I don't!" The Trickster was grinning widely, and apparently sincerely, but Hartley could only stare at him, feeling his jaw actually physically drop. 

"What's the point of that!?"

"Oh, come on. The Flash assumes I stole it somehow, he can't figure out how I did it, I must be a genius, but he's got to get it back! So he goes running off, all around the city, but he can't find it, oh no, the clever Trickster has outsmarted him again! And all the time, it was still in the museum!"

"You're insane."

"And you're boring," the Trickster said with a pout. Not that Hartley was looking at his mouth. "You have to admit, it's -" he continued but something else had caught Hartley's attention, a buzz, a vibration, a throbbing that sucked at his eardrums - a noise that was getting to be horribly familiar.

"Shh!" Hartley hissed. "I hear something!"

The Trickster at least had the sense to shush immediately and even scooched a little closer. "Is it the Flash?" he whispered

Hartley nodded. Oh, damn the Trickster, he hadn't used that breathing space to think at all! He glanced around wildly for ideas, but all he had was the Trickster and his invisible hand!

Wait.

"Give me that!" He grabbed at the Trickster's device, but, given it was still invisible, only succeeded in closing his fingers around his hand. He let go like he'd been burnt. "Please," he added awkwardly, hoping the Trickster wouldn't notice his blush. "I've got an idea." He couldn't decipher the look the Trickster gave him behind the mask, but he did give him the device so hopefully, he hadn't noticed Hartley being weird. "Can you get the Flash's attention?"

"I thought that was what we were trying to avoid," the Trickster remarked, but he floated upwards and over the dumpster as he said it. Hartley huddled further into the shadows and fiddled with the device's settings, he was pretty sure - yup, there it was. He got everything set up and snuck out from behind the dumpster, following the sounds of explosions to a few streets over, where the Trickster was dancing around the Flash's head.

"This way, quickly!" he shouted. The Trickster dropped a smoke bomb immediately and pelted towards him over the air. Hartley led him quickly back to their alley but when the Trickster tried to duck behind the dumpster, Hartley grabbed his hand to stop him. The Trickster frowned but shushed when Hartley stuck a finger to his lips. They waited, Hartley listening carefully for that telltale rumbling of air. As soon as it was close enough, he pulled out his pipe and played a quick tune. As the Flash rounded the corner, he heard the Pied Piper's song and saw them and the wall between alleys disappear. Hartley immediately dived sideways, dragging the Trickster with him - remembering at the last second to slap a hand over his mouth as well. The Flash blurred past them, too fast to stop, not quite fast enough to vibrate through a wall he wasn't expecting. He collided with the wall with an almighty crash and reappeared, on his back in the dirt, and (Hartley hoped) unconscious.

Hartley let go of the Trickster before he burst, and he fell on his butt, laughing so hard Hartley thought he might be sick. Hartley left him to it and crept over to the Flash, cautiously hovering one hand over his face to test his breath. He let out an internal sigh of relief at what he found - he still hadn't killed anyone. The Trickster was recovering now, only giggling occasionally rather than completely convulsed with laughter, and he followed over to where the Flash was lying. 

"I doubt he'll be out for long," he observed, "we should get out of here."

Hartley nodded and was about to suggest they split ways (but maybe meet up later?) when the Trickster swept him into his arms and started rising smoothly into the air.

"You know, I think I like you," he said, either ignoring or (please, please!) not noticing how pink Hartley was getting. "You're adaptable. We should team up again.”

“I'm James, by the way," he added, with not a mad grin or a smug smirk, but a smile. It was a nice smile. 

Oh no.

[cryptidofthekeys]

Seeing your content on my dash is always nice bc even if I don't understand the content (wrestling and spamton being examples) seeing you excited makes me feel better! Also you're just a really cool guy(TM).

jfkldfhjgdflgds

thank you v much- I’m glad ya like the content even if you don’t understand it whatsoever- must be fun watching a man just go completely batshit insane over big sweaty men and then one gross lil dumpster puppet I’m glad I can make ya feel better with my insanity, just the insane ramblings of mine that I spew onto the dashboard

and holy shit... I have achieved Cool Guy(TM) status... F i n a l l y... My dream... My task is completed, I have Cool Guy(TM) status!!!! hAHAHAHAH- I DID IT,, I FINALLY DID IT!

[picathartidae]

Thanks for the tag, @vestigialpersonality!

Three Ships: I’m not a big shipper and I don’t really understand shipping as a concept (blame it on my aro/aceness). It isn’t how I prefer to engage with media, but I’ll try to come up with some pairings I like anyway. 

Resist!Dark Urge/Spawn!Astarion, Baldur’s Gate 3. To the surprise of absolutely no one, I like these two together a whole lot. I tend to prefer a male Durge over a female one, but whatever. It’s a good fun time and they vibe. I like how Durge is the one character that forces Astarion to step up and be the responsible stable one. I love how you see this more emotionally available side to Astarion in a Durge run. I love how two objectively terrible people can end up bringing out the best in each other, despite the odds. I love the mutual and simultaneous redemption arcs. 

Jonas Kahnwald/Martha Nielsen, Dark. These two are a fucking disaster and I am so taken with how their weird obsessive love for each other is so destructive but also so pure and how that is so tied up with the themes. The way this show deconstructs relationships and the lengths people will go to for the sake of their loved ones is really compelling to me.

Shen Qingqiu/Luo Binghe, Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System. Another trash dumpster fire of a pairing, but whatever they are my boys and I love them. All of MXTX’s main pairs, really, but sqq/lbh are my absolute favourites, likely because Scum Villain is by far the easiest read of them all for me. I like the relationship in how it is used to actively deconstruct masculinity and support the overall themes of the novel.

First Ship: I’m pretty sure it was Scott Summers/Jean Grey from X-Men. Scott was always my #relatable vaguely autistic king, and Jean was genuinely just so cool and interesting to my young self. I’m still salty about it and I will never forgive Marvel. 

Last Song: I have been playing Die For You (ft Grabbitz) on a loop for maybe a month now. This is what happens when my partner rewatches Arcane and then listens to all of the League of Legends and Valorant music and sends me their favourites. And also the song perfectly fits in with my stupid Durge and his stupid Durge vibes, so… yeah. A song from Valorant for you. I have never played it and I barely know what it is, but this song is great.

Last Movie: I think it was Dune Part 2? It’s fine. It’s a good movie. I think it had the same problem as the book for me, in that the messaging was like getting hit repeatedly in the head with a sledgehammer because it didn’t seem to trust that people would get it, but since I’ve seen plenty of people completely miss said message, I can’t really blame it for that. It's very visually impressive and Denis Villeneuve is an insanely talented man who clearly knows the book series so well. Give him all of the awards.

Currently Reading: an eclectic collection of BG3 fanfictions.

Currently Watching: I’m making my way through Teen Wolf for the first time, because I’m legitimately shocked I never watched it when it was on (I was directly in its target demographic and never saw it? Who even am I). At the moment, I’m about three episodes into season 4. It’s a whole experience and I have so many feelings. Is it good? Not even slightly. Does it make sense? Barely. Am I kind of loving it anyway? Fuck yeah. Teenage me would have been all over this show. I’m so mad.

Currently Eating: Carbs! Always carbs. Just finished some spinach and feta scrolls, specifically.

Currently Craving: a decently written character-driven genfic. Please, I am begging.

Favourite Colour: dusty blue

Current Obsession: pretty much anything D&D related. Mostly BG3 specifically.

Last Thing I Googled: lots and lots and lots of Forgotten Realms lore. 

Favourite Season: Autumn, purely for the aesthetic.

Skill I’d Like To Learn: figure drawing, for sure. I am desperate to be able to produce decent character art for OCs, especially since I am poor and can’t currently afford to commission someone.

Best Advice: You shouldn’t have to justify every facet of your existence to others. You’re allowed to take up space.

Tagging: I think everyone I would tag has been tagged already, so I’m just going to leave it as anyone who wants to participate, consider yourself tagged. 

[universalfanfic]

word prompt 39- game !

Hope you don't mind another prompt response that barely counts as complying. And more mafia au with Stutton

Someone was following her. Sutton only really noticed because she heard a man sneeze and looked back to absently wish him “bless you”, and she saw his face. And then three blocks down she saw his face again in the crowd waiting at the crosswalk. And then he turned down the same side street she did; she saw him in the reflection of a store window.

Sutton’s heart raced and she shoved her hands in her pockets to desperately grip her phone. Of course it was her luck that some creep would trail after her one of the few times she walked back home by herself. She quickened her pace and rushed down an alley. At least she knew the area enough to know how not to end up cornered, and she took advantage of her small stature to hide behind dumpsters and boxes as she wove around buildings.

Sutton emerged from the alleyway onto another street full of shops, and she pushed herself in the middle of a crowd meandering down the sidewalk. Her heart beat in her throat when she saw the same man emerge from the alleyway she just vacated. 

He was determined. That was bad. 

The man picked up his pace after they crossed another street over and Sutton broke away from the group, which clearly wasn’t hiding her, and started to jog. Her hand shook as she pulled out her phone and struggled to find Steve’s name in her contacts. An old dry cleaners shop neared on her left, and Sutton aimed for it to duck inside as she finally dialed Steve’s number. 

She shrieked as she was lifted from the ground and she thrashed as the man yanked her away from the shop and dragged her behind another building, out of sight. Her heart raced so quickly she felt faint and she kicked again in vain, only feeling a flash of hope when she heard Steve’s voice distantly come from the phone. 

“Sutton, how are you-” 

“Steve, help me!” She managed to cry before the man covered her mouth with a fretful look in his eye. 

She flailed and squirmed and tried to scream like a wild animal. Their feet scuffled against the concrete as the man fought to keep control of her. 

“Miss, please-” 

Sutton managed to dislodge her face from his hand for a moment and let out another panicked yell. Steve’s voice rose in mirrored panic from her phone, but she couldn’t make out what he was saying and couldn’t respond. 

The man managed to press her up against the side of the building and pin her limbs, then he pried the phone from her fingers.

Surprisingly he didn’t throw her phone or crush it under his shoe. Instead, he held it up to his ear as Steve continued to yell. 

“It’s me! It’s me!” He said. “She caught sight of me and tried to duck into Morozov territory, I had to do something.” 

Sutton stilled and stared at him, her eyes still wide and wild, as he… talked to Steve? Was he insane? Was she? 

He had an Irish accent. 

In a move that made her feel even more like she was in some strange dream, he gave her an apologetic look and loosened his hold on her, enough that it seemed like he was trying to present himself as not a real threat. Then he held the phone up to her ear for her. 

“Sutton?” Steve said. “It's okay, he works for me, alright? Did ‘e hurt you in any way?” 

Sutton could only stare at the man in front of her. 

“Sutton, sweetheart, I need you to answer me. Can you hear me?”

“I- I can hear you.” Her voice was small. “I don’t understand- what… what’s going on?” 

“I’m going to be there in ten, okay? We can talk. The guy with you won’t hurt you. His name is Quinn. He’s supposed to be protecting you.” 

“Protecting me?” Sutton parroted, her voice rising. “Steve, what are you talking about? What the heck is going on?” 

“I’m on my way to pick you up. It’s better to talk face-to-face, okay?” 

She didn’t know what to do. Sutton licked her lips and agreed, because, honestly, what else could she do.

As he lowered her phone, Quinn’s hold loosened further and she pushed him away with a renewed anger. 

“Don’t touch me,” she snapped. “What’s wrong with you? Following me around like that? I’ve never even seen you in the restaurant.” 

Quinn held up his hands in supplication, but kept an eye on her as if to be ready in case she tried to bolt. She thought about it. 

“I don’t work in the restaurant,” he said. “But it’s not my place to explain anything to you.” 

“Then how can you work for Steve? None of this makes any sense!”

The man stared back at her in silence, then his face softened into something like pity. Or amusement.

“Ah, Mary bless ya,” he said. “You’re just a lamb.”

“Don’t even try that with me! I may not be Irish, but I can tell a patronizing tone when I hear one.”

“I’m still speakin’ English, aren’t I? 'S not even one of the proper confusing phrases.” 

Sutton glared. 

She glared until a car pulled up to their location and Steve rushed out. And despite whatever weird situation was going on, Sutton still hurried over toward him. Quinn was a strange stranger, and Steve was safe. He’d walked her home multiple times and never tried to kill her.

At least. He had been safe. He was still safer. 

Steve was quick to pull her close and wrap his arms protectively around her. He looked at Quinn and gave the man a nod, though he did look a bit frustrated. 

“I’ve got it from here,” he told Quinn. “Head back to the shop. We’ll discuss what happened later.”

Quinn frowned but dipped his head in acknowledgement, passed Steve her phone, and slipped away. 

Sutton pulled away as Quinn disappeared down the street, melting into the flow of foot traffic as if he’d never been there. Steve kept his fingers trailing down her arm even as she stepped to the side, unwilling to break contact with her. Sutton sucked in a steadying breath as she looked up at him. 

“Steve, what in the world is going on? Why was he following me?” 

“Come on,” Steve deflected as he directed her to his car. “We can talk as I drive you home.” 

For the first time, Sutton wasn’t sure that was a good idea. Sure, she’d grown to trust Steve enough that she let him walk her home. He’d never even made her wonder if he would hurt her. But clearly she’d missed something. She shifted from foot to foot as she thought and Steve’s gaze flickered to check around them. A couple people briefly glanced at them as they passed. Someone in the dry cleaning shop watched them from the window. Steve didn’t seem to like that. 

“Please, Sutton. I promise I’ll explain everything to you.”

He wasn’t trying to force her in the car and he looked nervous and uncertain; expressions she’d never seen on him. Besides that, he already knew where she lived anyway. He could easily beat her home and be waiting for her at the complex door to start this all over again. 

“Fine,” she said as she moved toward the passenger side door. “But it better be an amazing explanation, Steve.” 

He kept a poker face, which Sutton didn’t take as a good sign. 

She climbed into the car before he could try to open the door for her, and Steve slid into the driver’s seat. He reached over as she buckled and opened the glove box to throw both their phones inside and shut it. Sutton balked. 

“Hey! I wanted that back.” 

She reached for the glove box and he blocked her hands. 

“Not while we talk. Please.” 

Sutton sat back and stared at him. She’d missed something big. 

“Then talk.” 

Steve worked his jaw and stalled by focusing on joining the flow of traffic. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly until he forced himself to relax his hold. 

“Quinn was supposed to ensure you got home safely,” he said. He paused. “He has been.” 

The idea that she’d been followed more times then she knew about was a frightening shock. She rolled her lips and tried to figure out how to even respond to that. 

“Why would you think you could assign one of your employees to do that? Without even asking me?” She remembered Quinn’s claim and smacked her thighs in frustration. “And Quinn said he doesn’t work at the restaurant. What the heck, Steve? Do you- do you have another-?” 

Steve cut his eyes at her as he stopped at a light. 

“As we got closer, I decided you needed it. I didn’t want certain people getting ideas, and you’ve proven you ‘ave a penchant for finding trouble.” 

“You- that’s not- You’re dancing around telling me the truth! Assigning a random, I don’t know, bodyguard, to someone you know isn’t a normal person thing to do, Steve.” 

“No,” he agreed. “I ‘spose it isn’t. But then, my restaurant isn’t exactly normal either, is it?” 

Sutton continued to stare at him. A dread started to really boil in her stomach as he looped around another building to pull into her complex’s parking lot. It was silent as he put the car in park and turned off the engine.

“You can’t tell me you didn’t notice things were sometimes strange, sweetheart.”

He said it quietly, almost like an admonishment, and Sutton bristled. Of course it was a bit unusual that he refused to advertise, and that’s why he barely ever had customers. And sure he practically gave her the food every time she came by for lunch or dinner. It wasn’t a good business practice, but she assumed he was surviving off whatever initial loan he received.

…With no plans to start making money? 

There was also his dislike for social media, having her followed, and their phones were still in his glove box.

“What’s your shop sell?” 

“You don’t need to worry about the shop.” 

Her gut plummeted. Sutton gripped her blouse over her stomach and she felt sick as she actually thought about everything. She couldn’t stop her breathing from picking up and Steve rubbed a hand down his face. 

“The restaurant isn’t real, is it?” 

“It’s real enough,” he said. “It just… doesn't make the money we say it does.”

“Oh my gosh. No. Oh my gosh.”

Steve sighed and reached for her, his expression dropping as she brushed his hand away. 

“I’m sorry if it seemed like I was lying to you. I assumed you’d figure it out after a week or two.” 

“Was this- was this all just a game to you?” She snapped harshly. Her face grew instantly hot and her eyes burned. “Was it just a funny way to pass the time, to see how stupid I was? To see how long it’d take for me to- to assume the worst of you?” 

“What? No, Sutton, no. It wasn’t a game. You grew on me faster than I’d like to admit and I didn’t want to-” 

“Didn’t want to tell me you're involved in organized crime?”

He winced at that and Sutton covered her mouth with her hand, like saying the word was enough to get her killed. Steve sat back against his seat and sighed again as he stared out over the parking lot. 

“I suppose I didn’t. You’re too good. I guess I knew you’d look at me different. I tried to tell myself you must already know, and you still came ‘round. Told myself it didn’t bother ya.” 

Sutton swiped at her eyes and swallowed. She fumbled with the glove box in a bid to open it and grab her phone. 

“I’m leaving.” 

Steve grabbed her hands to stop her and laced their fingers as he shifted to face her again. Sutton turned face away to avoid looking at him and pulled, but he didn’t release her. 

“Please, Sutton. We can talk about this-”

“Talk about what? How- how you have people whacked? Are you going to have me killed now that I know? Huh? Drop me off in a river with some concrete? Or-or ship me off to some other country for- for-” 

She couldn’t get the words out and she couldn’t stop herself from crying. Steve still held onto her hands to keep her in the car and it stopped her from hiding her face. 

“How could you think that of me?” His voice truly did sound broken at the idea. He pulled her hands closer to himself and pressed her palms against his chest. 

“I would never hurt you, Sutton. And may the Lord have mercy on any man that ever tried, because I wouldn’t. I won’t say we don’t do anything you wouldn’t like, but the one thing we certainly don’t do is deal in people, you understand me?”

Sutton scoffed. 

“Oh, so you're mobsters with a code.” 

“Yes,” he insisted without a hint of irony.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Is it supposed to make me okay with whatever the heck it is that you actually do?”

“No, we’re not golden boys,” he agreed, “but we’re a necessary evil around here. We keep the worse men in check.” 

She shoved his chest angrily and it hardly moved him. It made her even angrier. 

“There is no such thing as necessary evil. And don’t even try to sell me on the idea that you got into organized crime with noble intentions. I’m not that stupid.” 

“You’re not stupid. You’re good. And this world, this city, is all sort o’ messed up. You think my family is the only one the law isn’t able to touch? There are others out there who ’re just as out of reach, and they do dabble in the worst sorts of business. You think you’ve made it home safe every time you left my sight because no one had bad intentions? You think little Mrs. Carter next door got her heating fixed so quick because the landlord cared?” 

He lifted her hands and watched her face as he dared to press a kiss to her palm. It was the most forward affection he’d shown since their brief kiss goodbye two weeks ago and Sutton bit the inside of her cheek. She was stupid, because she didn’t slap him. 

“This is my community, and I take care of what’s mine,” he finished.

It was too much for her to process at once. It was already hard enough to reconcile kind, generous, attentive Steve with someone who had the potential for violence. Who broke the law on the daily as part of his “job”. She’d been giving pennies to a mob front for months. Did that make her complicit? 

“I need to go.” She told him, pulling her hands back again. He released his hold this time. “I- I need to think about this.”

“Please just-” 

“Don’t tell the cops? Yeah, I got it.” 

“Don’t think I lied to you about who I am,” Steve corrected. “All the time we’ve spent together, that’s real.” 

Sutton grabbed her phone and threw the car door open. 

“I don’t know if I can trust what I think. Clearly.” The words were bitter, embarrassed. “And stop having me followed.” 

Steve’s car didn’t move as she rushed into her apartment complex; she didn’t look back. 

The next day she recognized Quinn following her as she ran errands. He had the audacity to wave.