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ironunderstands · 5 months ago

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Topaz appreciation post because she’s been rotating around my brain like a rotisserie chicken and I need y’all to get her like I do

Genuinely, I believe her to be the most underrated limited 5 star in the game everything wise, because she is so damn interesting and nobody talks about it ever and it drives me nuts.

So, I’m going to make you understand why exactly I love her and what makes her so amazing in the first place.

Her lore

Topaz’s lore is rather simple, at least compared to other characters in the game, but simple ≠ bad and her story serves her perfectly.

Long before Topaz was Topaz, she was a girl named Jelena, living in a desolate planet at the edge of the galaxy. The economy of this planet was based around mining and industry, which resulted in her home becoming more and more polluted as time went on. The wildlife almost completely disappeared, people had to wear masks to breathe, and it seemed like her planet was reaching a hopeless, dismal end.

Until the IPC came. They promised to fix everything, and heal her planet of its environment problems, in exchange for every person on the planet signing a contract of indentured servitude to the IPC. Seeing no other way out, Topaz’s home accepted, forever tying her and the rest of the planet to the IPC.

Topaz is was (and still is) incredibly talented and competent, excelling in science, economics, finances, math, etc. Her exceptional talents caused her mentor and parental figure Dvorski, who works in the Strategic Investment Department to recommend her to Jade, one of his superiors. Presumably, this is how she started her climb up the corporate latter, eventually becoming the Topaz we know and love today.

Throughout this, she maintained her friendly and headstrong attitude, and never abandoned her love for animals or the people in her life like Dvorski, a trait which will be important for later.

So, I’ve established the basics, so what makes this interesting?

Topaz’s trauma and how it affects her character

I feel like a lot of people ignore just how much trauma she really has, and how it affects the way she behaves in the present.

For starters, her love of animals. Sure, Numby is adorable and in general this is a rather fun trait for a character to have, it’s not something you would consider to be a sign of something darker.

However, remember that Topaz’s planet almost lost all of the life on it, and she witnessed firsthand almost every creature she knew and loved either go extinct or become severely endangered.

So, when you view her love for animals through this lense, it’s easy to see that she’s so attached to animals because Topaz almost lost them forever, and this trait manifests in a lot of the behavior she exhibits.

According to Topaz herself, her efficiency goes up 27% when Numby is with her, and it seems to be blatantly obvious that being around animals give her at the very least a peace of mind/sense of comfort. I mean in game she is Topaz and Numby for a reason, and her relationship with them is a core part of the way she behaves. When Topaz can’t ground herself, she has Numby to help her with that, which hurts even more considering she is likely going on these missions alone 90% of the time, meaning her literal only friend is a pet/animal.

Considering Topaz’s biological parents never get mentioned, it’s not hard to assume she is orphaned or at the very least estranged from them, likely due to the disaster on her planet, leaving her only loved ones to be her pets and Dvorski. Losing one half of the only support system she has would be devastating for Topaz, which is likely why she brings Numby everywhere (also considering I don’t think she has mentioned him in the present, her pets might literally be the only things she has left).

In her own home, Topaz collects a myriad of species from across the galaxy, as if to preserve them so at least even if they disappear on their home planets like hers did, they won’t go extinct entirely.

Personally, I think her fixation around them cooperating and coexisting also reflects on how she feels about other people. If animals from completely different planets can get along, so can people. If she can convince creatures lacking in intellect work together, then she can do the same for ones that possess it, as ultimately Topaz is a massive people person, and believes what she’s doing is best for the galaxy.

It’s almost like an experiment, with every little change to their ecosystems, every new organism added, every new abiotic feature taken or removed, Topaz can simulate what that might be like in reality. In a way she wants to take care of humans like she does her pets, however instead of doing it through her own means, she uses the IPC and her power as a Stoneheart as a vector for that.

But why is she so confident? What makes Topaz wholeheartedly believe that what she’s doing really is the best for the galaxy, even if we know it isn’t perfect, even if only ~80% of the planets she works on are “saved”?

Well, like always, it’s her trauma again.

Imagine you’re living on a planet slowly dying due to its people’s greed and ignorance, in which everything you know and love is falling apart, and absolutely nothing can be done about it. But you don’t need to imagine this, I mean this is a situation we are all going through, as it’s already what’s happening to our planet right now, so perhaps instead picture what it might be like to live here in a few decades if nothing changes. How miserable that would be, how upset you would be at those in power, how disappointed you would be in humanity for doing Nothing when we had so much time and already knew the consequences almost a century in advance (seriously we have known about climate change since like the 50s).

So you give up hope and accept your fate, accept that everything is going down in flames and the humanity, the planet you know and love is going to be snuffed out forever.

Only to get saved when an outside influence comes to your assistance. Sure, they make everyone sign a contract binding their lives to them, but you wouldn’t have a life to give had they not helped. Besides, you owe it to every other thing that shares your planet with you, every plant, every animal, every organism has been utterly wiped out by human greed, so it’s only fair to pay them back, right?

I mean it’s your whole world at stake, so how could you say no? How could you deem their terms unreasonable if clearly your own people didn’t deserve the responsibility they had over their own lives? If their situations could only be fixed by giving it to others who could guide them? By giving it to the IPC? The Preservation ?

This is the mindset Topaz grew up on and has known for her entire life. She has seen humanity utterly fail itself and is unwilling to allow that fate to befall others. She doesn’t trust other people to make the right decisions, she doesn’t think they know what’s best for them, because the people she was closest to, her very own people couldn’t do that, so how could she ever expect strangers to do the same?

How could she ever give the leaders of these planets the benefit of the doubt, knowing that doing that for her own almost caused it to be wiped out completely? How could she see them as anything more than the selfish bastards who ruined everything? How could her heart not ache thinking there were people on the planets she helps who would be doomed to experience the fate that almost fell upon her had Topaz not stepped in.

How could Topaz feel guilty over the planets that don’t succeed? The ones she can’t save? As after all, she thinks they were lost from the get go? Does it eat her up at night knowing she failed them? That she couldn’t prevent the folly of humanity this time, so the next planet she must work harder, be more stubborn, push back even more, so nobody ever experiences what she did instead?

I mean being an indentured servant hasn’t been that bad for her, she’s succeeded in every endeavor she’s set her mind to after all. Sure, she’s entirely alone, and sure, if the IPC no longer deems her or her people useful, they could cast them aside once again.

But Topaz is smart, she climbed to the top of the latter, she’s been praised to hell and back, she’s known far and wide through the department for her efficiency and drive, surely she hasn’t done anything wrong?

Sure she’s heard whispers, rumors and projects of other departments, of the deep dark secrets of the company she owes her life too. Inwardly she wonders how those who follow the Preservation would even be willing to commit such atrocities, inwardly she hopes they are just rumors. The IPC saved her planet, so how could they destroy others?

The Preservation’s power will protect all, will save them from their miserable existences. Nothing else matters in the process, no dissenter understands this as like Topaz does. She will save them, she will protect them, even if it means she is detested by everyone she encounters, it must be done. All for the Amber Lord.

I find it very compelling how despite the fact that Topaz has become a Stoneheart, she is still dressed in the fashion of an average IPC worker. As if she is an equal part of the puzzle as them. Equally useful, equally disposable, equally biased, equally ignorant, and equally foolish.

I mean, how could she be anyway else?

Her future

Belabog was just as important for Topaz’s development as she was to it.

She was wrong.

As stubborn as Topaz is, she is not arrogant, and when Bronya proved to her that the people of Belabog can and would fight for their future, Topaz did everything in her power to help them.

As that’s what she really cares about, people.

I think Topaz the determination she has in Bronya and it shook her to her core.

Because so far, the only way Topaz has seen real progress is from the hands of the IPC.

But Bronya doesn’t give into them, and she puts everything she has into saving her people. Moreover, Jarilo-VI follows the Preservation as well, but they don’t agree with the IPC’s method of it.

Is the IPC wrong?

That is the question Topaz is faced with, what is the thing she has to grapple with once she leaves the planet. When they demote her for not getting the debt back immediately, does Topaz wonder why they were so concerned about that in the first place? Shouldn’t they be happy that a world blessed by their very own deity managed to pick itself up without their help? Isn’t that the point?

Does she think back to her previous projects, the planets she saved and the planets she failed, and wonder how it would have worked out without the IPCs involvement?

Did Aventurine teasing her about “failing” the Jarilo-VI project confuse her, because they were still saved like Topaz wanted them to be in the first place? How could they ever be considered a failure?

She believes debts and payback are what holds planets together, but it only ever seemed to cause Belabog to fall apart.

This is the first time Topaz really is forced to reevaluate her priorities, to question if her methods are justifiable, if she’s really doing the right thing.

Belabog didn’t break her, it didn’t topple her worldview and turn everything on its head, but it did plant some seeds of doubt in her brain, seeds of doubt that will grow into a new mindset.

HOYOVERSE IF YOU ARE LISTENING HOYOVERSE, GIVE HER THE MENTAL BREAKDOWN + PRIORITY REEVALUATION ARC SHE DESERVES!!! DO THAT AND MY LIFE IS YOURS PLEASE.

Like you don’t get it you don’t get it what do you mean they set all this up and they might not go anywhere with it. Please hoyo please please please let her break away from the IPC’s condition and warped perspective, please let her truly follow the Preservation, please make her turn away from them, please make her an emanator of Preservation after she does this. Topaz stoneheart form, Topaz emanator form. Please please please let her save the crew let her save her subordinates let her save the people she failed previously let her save Aventurine and Ratio let her save Numby let her save herself.

Her instability

I have already somewhat touched on this in point #3, but Topaz just cannot exist in the state she is now permanently.

Like a radioactive element she’s going to slowly decay over time until she ends up in a more stable form, and who that will hurt in the process, and how long that will take, we will have to see.

Hypocrisy is not something that can exist for long within characters, as due to its inherent contradictions, it messes with the way they are characterized until they are eventually forced to either eliminate it themselves or have the story do it for them.

Topaz is a hypocrite, desiring to do good and help people, but she ends up hurting them in the process.

However, she has only just begun to realize this, and as more and more of the IPC’s atrocities get revealed, it gets harder and harder for both the audience and her herself to justify her behavior as we witness the extent of their crimes.

So how has she remained this stable for so long?

Well, the IPC has done everything in their power to keep her that way. From a young age she was involved with them, as they not only saved her planet, but her only known parental figure worked in the Strategic Investment Department. Soon, he recommended her to Jade due to Topaz’s exceptional talent, and presumably the other Stoneheart quickly picked her up and took her under her wing, causing Jelena to rise fast within the ranks and become one herself.

The IPC has been Topaz’s only frame of reference for how things should be done, her only perspective on write and wrong for so long. The only hints she gets of other points of view are that of the people who destroyed her planet, her own people. Unintentional or not, Topaz has been made to feel her whole life like the IPC are heroes and the common people are foolish and greedy and evil, and only now has that worldview started to crumble piece by piece.

Sure, we have always known how terrible the IPC was, a perception that has only gotten more and more true over time. However, Topaz is not the audience, and in universe the IPC presents themselves in a very positive light.

Think of the Myriad Celestia trailer and how it portrays the IPC; that’s quite literally how they want to be viewed in game, how they market themselves to other people. If Topaz has only ever known them to be that great, shining, progressive company who vows to follow the Preservation and improve the universe, how could even begin to criticize them? After all, she had never known any other perspective. Even when she did fail in the past, Topaz viewed it as a strike on her own record and an unfortunate situation in general, not as a demonstration of the IPC’s misdeeds.

The IPC is good, the IPC saves people, the IPC follows the Preservation, Topaz is a good person, Topaz does good things, Topaz helps people, Topaz saves people, there is nothing wrong, there won’t ever be anything wrong.

Until Belabog

They don’t want to cooperate with the IPC. To roll over and let themselves be gutted for all they are worth.

Well that’s fine, that’s happened before, at least that’s how Topaz justifies it to herself. She thinks of their massive debt, it must be paid after all, otherwise how could the galaxy remain stable?

But the weapons the IPC gave Jarilo-VI were never used in its defense. The thing they owe the IPC for never ended up being valuable. Belabog stood on its own, without the help of IPC in its defense.

They saved themselves.

As if it couldn’t get worse, they did it with the power of the Preservation.

And it didn’t come from the IPC, it came from them.

The Interastral Peace Corporation, who claim to be followers of the Preservation, standing against people who really do have their blessing and being proved wrong.

Do you know how that would feel to Topaz.

She’s wrong, and she’s proven wrong by the very deity she claims to follow, she believes she follows.

So Topaz makes her choice.

Stick with the IPC’s plan, or stand with the people of Belabog

And she stands with them.

Topaz’s character never changes. I hate when people act like she switched up on them and changed her whole worldview, but in reality that was the most in character thing Topaz has ever done in her entire life.

Because she cares about people, so when the opportunity presents itself, she will always stand with them.

This is the first time Topaz goes against the IPC’s wishes, and it won’t be the last.

She made her choice, she demonstrated who and what she truly cares about, and that will only drive a wedge between her and the IPC further and further until she snaps.

I find it funny how Topaz is a fire type character, when the song core to Belabog’s themes is “Wildfire”

However, maybe it isn’t just about them. I think it’s about the Preservation, about what the game in general is trying to tell its players.

How fighting for your right to exist will hurt, but it is not impossible, and that pain will be the only way to enact change.

Well, Topaz,

you made your choice

go fight against your fate

Thank you so much for reading! I really enjoyed making this and I hope you at least understand why I think Topaz is such a compelling character. I need an arc centered on her in the future and if I don’t get one then trust me things will be dealt with. She will get her just desserts.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr analysis #topaz hsr #topaz #topaz honkai star rail #topaz and numby #Im insane about her I was tweaking while writing this #This community does not deserve Topaz #aventurine #dr ratio #I need to make a post on the parallels between the IP3 #They are so so so important to one another though #I hate when ppl downplay that #THE NARRATIVE PARALLELS GRRRRR #ppl need to acknowledge just how hard the IPC fucked up her too #Like it’s more obvious with Aven and Boothill but still

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your-unfriendlyghost · 19 days ago

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Hurt/comfort Steviepop fic concept/outline that I don’t have time/energy to write rn, but need to put down so I don’t forget it later:

So Sodapop gets drafted. He does his tour and comes back, but in the time he was gone, everything changed. Soda’s got “shell shock” or something and keeps having “panic attacks”; Pony’s in college, and is taller than him now; Darry’s gone back to college now too now that he doesn’t need to financially support Soda; Two-Bit is dating Marcia, that Soc girl from Pony’s theme; and Steve, Soda’s best friend in the whole world, who he’s been in love with since he was sixteen, has married Evie.

Soda’s crushed but hides it. He can’t hate Evie, she’s genuinely so nice, so pretty, and so good for Steve. And when she and Steve catch onto the fact that Soda’s not coping too well with everything, she invites Soda to live at their apartment- because Evie really is so sweet and Soda hates himself for being in love with her husband.

He initially turns down the offer, but after Darry finds him having a breakdown while home alone, everyone in the gang thinks it’s for the best that Soda stays with people who have more time for taking care of him…aka Steve.

So Steve spends a lotta time with Soda, and Soda just falls for him more. Steve’s older and less angry all the time now- he’s learned to be less reserved and volatile. His time with Evie has taught him to be generally more open about his feelings, too. He’s still Soda’s best buddy, still sarcastic and hyperactive- just more affectionate and better at communicating, and more mature now that he’s not seventeen. He’s still working at the DX, but he’s been promoted to the main mechanic, and he takes Soda to work too. It’s just like when they were kids- all the same old dancing together to the radio, the talking and laughing, the lingering glances when they think the other’s not looking… In other words, Soda’s completely, hopelessly, down bad.

But Evie’s great too. She talks to Soda about what he’s gonna do with his life. She hugs him plays with his hair and sometimes even holds his hand- in public and in private. Somehow, Steve doesn’t seem bothered at all, even when Soda asks him about it directly. And Soda, against his will, starts to fall for her too.

Soda’s been having a lotta nightmares because of PTSD, but he really doesn’t wanna bother Steve or Evie about it at night. He really misses having Ponyboy sleeping with him- except now he’s the one that needs comforting. This goes on for a while. Until one night, it’s so bad that Soda gets up and calls Darry. Darry comforts him, but it wakes up Steve and Evie. They invite Soda to sleep in their bed with them instead of the guest room. And Soda’s like “Guys, I can’t do that.” And he’s just so tired and shaken that when they push him, he just spills. He tells them he can’t sleep with them because he’s in love with them, and he hates it because they’re so happy and he’s ruining it-

And Steve and Evie, who kinda subconsciously knew they were in love with him too, fully realize it and tell him so.

…And that’s how Soda becomes a part of his favorite couple lol

(Obviously if this were to be a fic it would be very long, in order to properly and respectfully delve into some of these topics. But uh yk I’m pretty busy, so instead of writing a half-baked fic I’m just gonna put this outline out there ig)

(Feel free to steal this for a fic if ya wanna btw, idk if I’ll write this or not so go nuts lol)

(OH btw shell shock and panic attacks are in quotes at the start not because I don’t take them seriously- I do- but because from Soda’s POV it’s weird and sounds ridiculous and he’s slightly in denial. Re-read the first paragraph and it sounded like my perspective, so just an fyi, it very much isn’t!!)

#steviepop #steve x evie x sodapop #stevepop #steve x evie #sodapop x steve #steve randle #sodapop curtis #the outsiders steve #the outsiders sodapop #the outsiders #the outsiders 1983 #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders evie #story outline #rambling

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megantheebaddest · 9 months ago

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Y/n goes out to the club with Drew’s sister Brooke!!

a/n: Thank you for the request 😘 this is the aftermath of them clubbing. i had to be fluffy in this one! i couldn’t resist. also let’s just pretend that’s drew in the gif 🤣

warnings: none

Cuddle Me

Drew’s eyes dart open to the sound of the front door busting open. It sounded like he was about to get robbed, until he heard the loud cackles coming from you and his sister Brooke. He scrunched his eyebrows at the rude awakening. You were both staying with him for the week, as you guys had traveled to visit him. Just as he turned his head, you two came around the bend holding onto each other for dear life. You were holding each other up at this point, barely able to walk. Both of your heads were rolled back, mouths hung open, and incoherent laughs and comments coming from your mouths.

“Looks like you two had a great time.” Drew laughs.

You both were in sync, looking at him like deer in the headlights. With out missing a beat you both started your uncontrollable laughter. Brooke let go of you and you completely lost all your balance falling straight to the floor.

“Woah!!” you screamed landing on your butt.

Brooke bent down placing her hands on her knees while pointing and laughing at you.

“Bitch get the fuck uppp” she laughed.

Drew just sat there with an amused expression. He knew he was in for it tonight. You fell back, laying down now.

“I can’t.. no way. i need help”

Drew instantly got up and grabbed ahold of your hands . He pulled you up and helped you regain your balance.

“What the hell did you guys drink?”

“Everything.” You both said at the same time. The only difference is you hiccuped after. Drew shook his head laughing.

“And how’d you get home? You could have called me” He asked.

“Some guy who was buying us drinks all night” Brooke said.

“What?? And that sounded like a good idea to you guys?”

You and Brooke looked at each other in agreement.

“You two are nuts” Drew said with his eyebrows up in disbelief.

You made your way to the couch and plopped down. Brooke made it over to Drews fridge. “Got anything good in here?”

Drew looked around like he didn’t know what he got himself into inviting his best friend and sister to stay for a week. “Is this free game?” Brooke held up a tupperware container. Drew smiled and shook his head. He plopped down on the couch beside you, reaching to take your heels off. You blinked at him a few times before speaking.

“Why do you hate me” you whined.

“Huh?”

“You never let me touch you, or kiss you, or fuck you” You say grinning.

“Y/n.. What the hell are you talking about?” Drew laughed.

“It’s like.. You know when people want to eat chicken? Like really bad? That’s how it feels.”

Drew was just about to speak when you cut him off. Your eyes perked up. “Do you have chicken!? I’m hungry”

Drew just stared back at you. Confused as all hell.

“Are you like, okay?” Drew laughed.

“No. I’m hungry?”

“Here have some of this” Brooke sat down beside you with the leftovers.

“Y/n did you get that one guys number? He was a cutieee” Brooke asked.

Drew’s head shot towards you both. A hint of jealousy at the thought of you getting some random dudes number. “I absolutely did!” you giggled.

“Oh my god yes!! How about him taking you to the bathroom and the security guard yelled at you guys” Brooke cracked up.

“I know we were only in there for like 30 seconds” you laughed. “Almost had his dick in my mouth” you shrugged, closing your eyes while enjoying your bite of food.

Drew bit his lip to hide the anger/jealousy. Brooke noticed and looked over to Drew and gave him a little smirk. She knew how Drew felt about you, he always confided in her. She knows how big of a wuss he is to admit his feelings towards you. Drew reached for the remote turning the tv on. Nothing to be heard but the sound of the tv, two drunk girl’s obnoxiously chewing food, and quiet giggles.

“I think i’m gonna head to bed. You ladies have fun, but not too much fun. You girls are loud as shit together.” Drew chuckled.

“Night droop dogg” You laughed at the nickname you had given him years ago.

“Goodnight Y/n. Good night Brooke” He smiled

“Night Joseph Marie” Brooke laughed.

Drew cocked an eyebrow and had a look of ‘what the fuck?’ on his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Letting out a “Jesus christ” under his breath. You girls were absolutely wrecked and he was not sure how much more he could take. You both were a handful to say the least. He shook his head laughing making his way to his room.

——

It had been about 45 minutes and Drew found himself tossing and turning. The rest of his apartment was silent as he figured you both went to bed too. He was staring up at the ceiling thoughts running through his mind a million miles per hour. The thought of you hooking up with randoms and getting other guys numbers just didn’t sit right with him. You weren’t dating each other so you were able to do whatever you wanted, it’s his own thoughts and feelings towards it that ate him alive. He was silently beating himself up about never admitting his feelings about you. Everyone he confides in tells him to go for it but he’s just too nervous. Almost every time his mom calls him to check up on him and catch up, she asks about the situation. She’s definitely team Y/n. Just as he was starting to think about how close you were to his family and how they all absolutely adored you in every way his bedroom door creaked open, letting the dim light from the hall in. His eyes perked up at the sight of your silhouette stumbling towards him. You were stumbling so bad between all of the alcohol you consumed and the fact that it was pitch black in his room as your eyes hadn’t adjusted yet. You tripped a little landing on the side of his bed you sat down and moved your hand around to feel for him. You felt his arm and slowly shook him to wake him. Little did you know he was already awake looking right back at you in awe.

“Drew” you whispered shaking him.

He didn’t budge.

“Psst. Joseph. Wake up please”

He put his hand on top of yours. “What’s wrong sweetheart.”

You hiccuped hard. “I can’t sleep. It’s cold out there.”

Drew didn’t say anything he just lifted the blanket and you excitedly climbed in. You moaned at the feeling of warmth and the smell of Drew filling your nostrils. The sound of his calm breathing was so soothing. You both just laid in the silence enjoying every moment.

“Drew?” You barely whispered.

“hmm?”

You contemplated your next question. “um, never mind”

“Uh uh. What is it?”

“I really want to cuddle.. cuddles from you are the best-“

Before you could finish your sentence he pulled you by your waist. You were facing him so you had your face buried in the crook of his neck. He draped his long arm around you sliding his hand up the back of your shirt. He used his finger tips to lightly tickle patterns all over your back. After a few minutes, he felt your breathing slow. He peaked down at you to make sure you were asleep before placing the softest kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“I love you sweet girl” He whispered.

#drew starkey x female reader #drew starkey x y/n #drew starkey x you #drew starkey fic #drew starkey fluff #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey #send requests #anon request #megantheebaddest

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xhoneygirlxx · 1 year ago

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One Of The Girls

Modern King!Steve x Fem Reader

summary: Steve only hits you up when it’s convenient for him and you’ll always answer because it feels nice to be what he wants, even if it’s just for a night.

warnings: fboy!Steve, modern au! circa 2018. reader and Steve are both in their early 20's. reader is given the nickname 'trouble'. ooc steve, he's a big meanie and pretty much a douche bag. angst. Minors DNI smut: unprotected p in v (wrap it up kiddos), fingering, oral receiving (m), daddy kink, swearing, slight dom/sub, cream pie, insinuations to reader being on birth control, possessive steve, toxic steve! hair pulling. Steve's job is mentioned briefly, I like to think that this version of him works for his dad landscaping, so that's what i put lmao. this is named after The Weeknd's song from the idol and I also use his song 'Try Me' in this, awe well. if i miss anything please let me know! also bad writing and grammar mistakes, not proofread.

a/n: hi my loves! i was inspired to write something based off of this blurb. again, smut is so not my strong suit so i beg that you be nice to me :) i also want to mention that when i was looking for pics for this fic, i couldn't find one picture that gave me fboy vibes bc joe keery is simply bf coded lmao. thank you all for interacting with my posts and just being so lovely to me! i appreciate you all and i hope you enjoy this <3

divider by: @saradika

You knew from the moment you met Steve Harrington it would be trouble, that he'd have you locked down for as long as he wanted. The pretty boy with the nice smile, who said all the right things and made all the right moves. You were a fool from the get go and he knew, he knew it the moment you let him hit that you were his.

Everyone knew about 'king Steve', the boy with the puppy dog eyes but a closet filled with so many skeletons that the door refused to shut. From what you heard he wasn't a relationship kind of guy, that he collected bodies like he was paid for it, and then went on his merry way no matter what carnage he left behind.

He was bad news and you swore you would stay away, not get swept up in the honey like vortex of his eyes, but when he said your name it sounded so right and who were you to refuse someone as tempting as him.

The name satan isn't far off for him, both so beautiful and angelic but rotten to the core, so evil that you often wonder if they were ever created with a soul.

As much as you wanted to let him go, block him out of your life completely, you simply couldn't. All your friends thought you were stupid for playing such a dangerous game but they didn't know him like you did. They didn't know how he actually took care of you when he was done abusing your poor hole, how he'd buy you little gifts simply because it reminded him of you, and they certainly didn't know the boy who would make you laugh so hard your ribs bruised.

At least that's what you tell yourself, how you sugar coat the simple fact that Steve Harrington treats you like trash because let's face it, he does. For every thing he does 'right' he does a million other things wrong. He goes weeks without texting you and the only time he does is when he's desperate. He only takes you to secluded spots just so he can get a nut. And most importantly, he tells you everything you want to hear so that you stay.

You were connected to Steve by a string, no matter how far you pulled away he would pull you right back in. If you were a masochist then he was a sadist and you would take whatever torture he gave you with the biggest smile on your face because at the end of the day you were his and only his.

It's a Friday night and while you'd usually be out with friends, you opted to stay in tonight, too tired from the work week to physically get out of bed.

Under the warmth of your comforter, you scroll through Instagram blindly liking different post on your timeline. The white numbers in the corner of your screen read a little bit past midnight and as badly as your eyes wanted to shut, your brain simply couldn't resist the glow of your screen.

A notification pops up at the top of your screen and your ready to fling it away to dismiss it when your heart rate picks up at the name.

IMessage:

Harrington 🙄

Your finger moves faster than the speed of lightning, hitting on the bubble to open the messaging app.

Harrington 🙄: wyd?

It's a simple enough message but you sit and ponder how to respond. You don't want to come off too desperate but you also don't want to wait too long to respond knowing he has other options lined up. Without overthinking too much more, you move your thumbs across the keyboard and sending your message.

Harrington 🙄: wyd?

You: nm, why?

Waiting with bated breath, you watch the text bubble pop up to notify he's typing.

Harrington 🙄: wya? lemme scoop you

Bingo.

You: im at home. how long do i have before you get here?

Harrington 🙄: bet. gimme 15 mins.

Your heart shouldn't be beating as fast as it is and you shouldn't be hopping around with joy like Snow White when she's singing to the birds, but like always Steve says jump and you say how high.

It should make you sick how he hasn't texted you in two weeks, only now asking to come get you so he can fuck. It should make you sick when you put on your brand new panties, that you may or may not have bought for just him. It should make you sick when you spritz yourself in his favorite perfume, growing flustered at the memory of him complimenting you for it.

All of it should make you sick to your stomach but that's not a possibility when he chose you. He chose you to keep going back to, he chose you to continue seeing and not one and done your ass. A twisted part of your brain is so convinced that he has some sort of feelings for you, the way you do for him. It's like a kaleidoscope, no matter how you twist or turn it, the colors are always so beautiful.

And if everyone wanted to tell you any different, all you had to do was show them the sparkling diamond necklace that hung from your chest. A thoughtful gift from the man they all claimed didn't have any love in his heart, even though you and everyone else knew it was a way to show his claim on you.

The familiar sound of Steve's blacked out Jeep pulling in your drive way makes your heart jump with excitement. Wasting no time, you dash down the drive, not wanting to keep him waiting any longer.

Pulling the door open you're met with the all too familiar scent of him, Ralph Lauren Ultra Blue swirling in your nose and going straight to your head.

He looks so good in his grey joggers, hugging his thick thighs that he knows drive you crazy. The white Hanes tee he wears is crisp, like he ironed it before putting it on. The sleeves wrap about his toned chest oh so perfectly causing some of his wild chest hair to poke out. To add the icing on the cake he's wearing that gold chain, that damn gold chain you loved looking at when he had you on your back.

"Hey trouble." White teeth flash in the darkness of the car, like the moon that's hung in the sky.

"Hi Stevie," You internally cringe at how needy it sounds, "how was work?" He gives you a small chortle at your question, still smiling that damn smile that could cure deceases.

"It was fine, had to cut the college's lawns. Ya know, the fun stuff." You nod your head at his answer, too nervous to even give a spoken response.

"Anyway, I thought we could take a ride down to lover's." It's said like it wasn't common knowledge already. Giving him a small okay, he leans over and places a quick peck on your lips, before putting the car into drive.

The ride to lover's lake from your house was a short seven minute drive but for some reason it felt like the roads were getting longer and longer. You want to jump out of the car, bile rising in your throat knowing how this is going to end. The heartbreak, the sadness you were gonna feel the minute he pulls out was already hitting you and it hasn't even happened yet.

His radio plays at a louder volume, The Weeknd's 'Try Me' bumping through the speakers.

You're the best I ever had

Baby girl, remind me, mind me

Let me now if it's on

And you know where to find me, find me

Havin thoughts you never had, yeah

You want to roll your eyes at the words but then again maybe he put this on because this is how he felt about you. The logical part of your brain tells you to get real but when you feel the fuzziness in your cheeks, your logic is all but ignored.

Maybe this time will be different, you think.

When he pulls onto the dirt path, he pulls the car under the big oak tree he always does. You wonder if this is where he brings all of his hookups but decide to push that though in the back of your head, not wanting to ruin the night.

"I missed you, trouble." Steve leans his back on the driver side door, watching you with those eyes you feel for all those months ago.

"And I bet you say that to all your little girlfriends." You jest back, making him roll his eyes dramatically.

"You and I both know that's not true." The low husky tone in his voice makes the fact he didn't deny the accusation of having other girls around, go down that much sweeter.

"You're all talk Harrington," You say seductively, leaning over the center console, "Why don't you show me how much you missed me?"

Steve's smile is wicked, pulling the keys out of the ignition, pointing you to get into the back. When you're settled in, he maneuvers ungracefully over the center console, making both of you laugh.

Sitting his body in the middle seat, you swing your leg over his lap, immediately locking your lips with his. Steve's not as rough as he usually is, taking his time like he's trying to memorize the way your mouth felt and tasted.

When you try to speed it up, he wraps his hand in your hair, yanking you off of him.

"Slow and steady, baby. We have all the time in the world." With your hair wrapped around his fist and his hard cock digging into your thigh, his voice is all but calm and sweet.

Moving back in to meet his lips, you match his energy. Rolling your hips slowly, you relish in the way he groans into your mouth. When you drag your hips over his again, you shudder with the way his hard on catches on your throbbing clit. Wetness starts to fill your panties, tummy tightening with want.

Steve's hands move to your hips, guiding your movement. Spit soaked lips leave yours, moving along your jaw down to your neck. Leaning your head up to the roof of the car, he takes that as invitation to massacre the tender skin.

He sucks hard, right where your vein pumps frantically with lust, leaving another mark for you to carry around. One more tattoo right on your heart that beats for him.

Pulling away, a thick finger grabs onto the chain that hides under the collar of your sweatshirt. The small diamond glittering softly in the darkness of the night.

"Look at my baby, wearing her present so proudly. Isn't that right?" It's cocky and it should make you shiver with an ick but it doesn't. It only fuels your delusions.

You hum in response, too dumb off of his kiss to even open your mouth.

"Nuh uh, I asked you a question." Moving your sight down to him, he's already looking up at you. His lips are shining, cheeks puffed from the smile that glitters up at you.

"Yes, daddy." A deep growl comes from the back of his throat, a feral look painting over him.

You pretty much get whiplash from how fast he rips off your sweatshirt, revealing the pretty lace bra in the color he adores so much on you. His lips suck harshly on the skin of your chest, leaving reminds of him for only you to see.

"Can I suck you off, daddy?" It's breathy and so desperate leaving your mouth, all that talk about not wanting to look needy right out the window.

When his head moves away from the valley of your cupped breasts, he looks like a kid on Christmas. Eyes twinkling with excitement, like he's been waiting for all year round to hear those words.

"Don't need to beg me now, trouble. It's all yours." The smirk that paints Steve's lips is devilish and if you were in the right headspace you'd scoff at his condescending tone. But right now he was giving you exactly what you wanted and you weren't about to complain.

Clambering off of his lap, you move into the seat next to him, kneeling down. You could double as a dog who waits patiently for their owner to drop their treat, tail wagging and heavily panting.

Steve lifts his hips pushing down his joggers and underwear in one go, his heavy cock jumping up in excitement, bouncing off of his stomach.

The saliva in your mouth pools, almost escaping through your slightly parted lips. Your metaphorical dog bone waiting in front of you but you can't have it until he tells you to, so you wait for him to get get comfy again.

Looking over at you, he raises an eyebrow as if to say 'well?', and that's all you need to hear to move forward, making sure to arch your back when you do.

You decide to tease him a bit, kitten licking the head before sliding your tongue up the prominent vein that sat on the underside. The feeling of him shuttering spurs you one even more, bringing a hand up to his heavy ball sack and gently running a finger over it. You can feel your panties being drenched even more with wetness, just from the thought of how he tastes.

As weird as it might sound, you loved Steve's dick. It was a good seven inches, with the slightest curve that made him hit that special spot every time. He was thick too, so thick you that he always needed to prep you with his three of his fingers before hand.

Bringing your head back to the tip, you dripple spit onto it, smearing it with the precum that's already beaded out. Ever so slowly, you take your hand and begin you jerk him at the base of it. Looking up at him, you can see him eyes closed, brows furrowed together, as his chest moves rapidly up and down.

Deciding that you can't wait any further, you put him in your mouth and start bobbing up and down. Not even halfway down his shaft and you begin to gag around him. Using your hand to take whatever your mouth can't, you move faster. The raunchy sounds of you slurping him up fill the small space of the car.

When Steve jolts his hips forward you can't help but choke, throat closing around him, making him moan deeply.

"I know but you can take it, right?" You do your best to nod your head with him in your mouth. You look up at him with glassy eyes, drool coming out both sides of your mouth, and he chuckles at you.

"So fuckin' pretty." Steve says breathlessly and you beam at the praise, going back to taking him further in your mouth.

You push through the want to gag, putting more and more of him in your mouth. You want to prove something to him, prove that no one else can make him feel like this and it seems to be working when he whines so loud it rings in your ears.

Pulling your hand off of the base, you cup his balls in your hand, messaging the sack gently in your hair. The heavy weight of his hand lands on the top of your head, once again yanking you by the hair.

You whine at the loss of his heavy cock in his mouth, pouting childishly at him when your at eye level with him again. He's panting hard, cheeks fleshed pink, and his hair messy from him running his hand through it.

"It was so good, honey," he breathes, "but I really wanna finish inside of you."

The sentence makes your belly burn even harder than before. Trying to move around in the cramped backseat is challenging, both of you pausing to laugh when your pants get caught on your foot awkwardly.

Once your leggings and panties are discarded somewhere on the floor, Steve takes his time admiring you. His gaze burns you with every movement of his eyes. Here you are, clumsily sprawled out for him in the backseat of his beloved Jeep.

Bringing a hand to your thigh, he rubs it up and down the skin, causing the skin to raise in goosebumps every time his finger would catch on the lip of your heat.

You whimper at him, raising your hips trying to meet his touch where you need him most. Tisking down at you, he shakes his head.

"What's the magic word?" He teases and you pout even harder.

"Please, Stevie? Need you." You say wetly, the burn of tears coming back in your eyes. Steve leans over you, so close that if you brought your head up just an inch, your noses would touch.

"The right answer was, 'Steve is the coolest', but I'll let it slide since you sound so cute." He whispers to you, placing a quick kiss to the tip of your nose.

The tip of his finger runs along your slit and you mewl at the feeling.

"Do you always get this wet, trouble? Or is this just for him." The smile pulled on is one like the joker. Sick and twisted and yet all you see is an angel from above.

"S'for you. S'always for you, daddy." It comes out like a slur, so drunk off of one little touch.

"That's my girl." It's more like a whisper when it comes out of his mouth.

His finger diving into the sticky mess that's been made in between your legs. Swirling his finger around your hole, spreading the wetness up to your bundle of nerves, moving in slow figure eights around it.

Steve hasn't even put a finger inside you yet and the lewd squelching of your pussy can probably be heard for miles. The feeling of him putting more pressure on your clit makes you jolt with pleasure. When the first finger breaches your hole, your eyes close in euphoria.

Even with just one of his fingers inside of you, it feels way better than anything else. The thickness of it stretching you further than two of yours could.

Still using his thumb to circle your clit, he pushes another finger in. Starting off slow, he pumps both into you, curling them up in a 'come hither' motion.

You're high off of him, off of the way his hands feel, and how good he's making you feel. All of that waiting and wondering when he'd reach out to you paying off in this very moment.

"You can take another one, right? You gonna take three of daddy's fingers like the good girl you are?" His voice is intoxicating and you drink it right up.

You nod your head, babbling 'please daddy' and 'more, more, more". He's eating it right up, the way he's got you dumb and he hasn't even fucked you yet.

Without another word, another thick finger joins the other two. This time he decides to go faster, hitting that spot you struggle to reach on your own. With his thumb still swirling around and now three fingers deep, you can feel the tightness in your stomach building.

You can feel your slick dripping down your ass onto the leather seat beneath you. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, legs pulling up from where he's sat between them, toes curling in a death grip.

"I'm gonna, fuck, I'm cumming," The sentence gets cut off with the air that's trapped in your throat.

His movements don't stop, guiding you through your orgasm. When the waves of your orgasm washes over you, your legs relax like they're filled with jelly, slobber running down the side of your face, and your chest moving unsteady as you try to catch your breath.

You hiss when he removes his hand from you, mourning the loss of feeling full. Moving his fingers to his lips, he sucks your juices off of them one at a time, releasing them with a pop when he's done.

Using his other hand, he brushes some of the hair that's sticking to your face with sweat behind your ear. Placing delicate kisses to your cheeks and forehead, he glances down at you. The harsh black that once enveloped his irises are now softened with a look that you have yet to decipher.

"You did such a good job for me, sweetheart." He coos at you, running his thumb along your jaw. "You okay? Need a break?"

"No, I'm okay Stevie." Your smile is nothing but pure happiness. Blame it on the after glow of your orgasm all you want, but the happiness is purely due to his attentiveness to you.

Placing one more kiss to your deprived lips, he moves his attention to his aching cock. Spitting into the palm of his hand, he jerks himself a few times before lining himself up to your entrance.

Pushing in gently, his tip breaches your hole and all the air is punched out of your lungs. Even with his prepping, you never seem ready for the real thing.

Going inch by inch, stopping every so often for you to catch your breath, he finally pushes all the way in. After waiting for the okay, he doesn't hesitate to pound into you.

You swear you can feel him in your stomach, reworking each and everyone of your organs, but you could careless when it feels this good. You want this feeling forever, the feeling of his weight on top of you, him spreading you out so well.

The gold chain that hangs from his freckled neck dangles in front of you, hypnotizing you with the way it moves back and forth. With all the strength you have, you watch him trying to remember how he looks when he's inside of you so when he ultimately ghosts you, you can close you eyes and imagine it.

Steve looks so beautiful like this, eyes closed tightly, browns pulling together, pink puffy lip tucked behind his straight teeth. You want to take a picture, hang it in a museum for all of the world to see, but this is for only you to see. Your own little memento for you to keep to yourself.

"Fuck you're so wet, hmph, and warm. Jesus" Steve grits out, bringing you back to reality.

Skin slapping off of skin echoes out, loud moans and groans making a lovely soundtrack just for you two.

"Shit, right there!" You cry out when his cock hits just perfectly on your cervix.

"Bullseye," He whispers to himself before ramming into you even harder than before.

Your mouth curls into an O shape, no words or sounds coming out. The feeling of your finger nails raking down his back backs him grunt loudly.

"You and this pussy are mine. Tell me you're mine." He demands but you can't do it, too overwhelmed with the way your stomach has started to tighten.

Because you don't answer right away, he snakes his hand down to your abused clit, circling it again causing you to jolt from overstimulation.

"Don't make me tell you again, trouble." He spits out.

"I'm yours Steve. S'yours." You shout, your orgasms approaching faster and faster.

"S'always gonna be mine, right? No one else?" He question and it sends your head reeling.

"Always yours, always fuck, yours." You're babbling now, tippy toeing on the brink of your release.

"Come on baby, cum for daddy. Cum on my cock." He pants, going faster and faster as he does.

Without argument, you're hurdled over the the edge, gushing and pulsing around Steve. He continues to fuck into you, chasing his own high now.

"Cum in me, daddy. Wanna feel it so bad." You coax, wanting to feel the warmth of his seed filling you up.

"I love how you feel, baby. You got, motherfuck, no idea." His strokes are starting to lose rhythm, sloppily moving as he continues.

"I love this pussy s'much. Fuckin' love yo-" Before he can finish his statement, he cums with a guttural moan.

Your mind goes blank, eyes snapping open with confusion. Was he about to say he loved you? Is that what he was going to say? Every single question runs through your mind while the boy in question is collapsed on top of you, breath choppy and erratic as he comes down.

After what feels like the world's longest minute, he removes himself off of you, pulling his dick out from your cunt. You whimper at the feeling, missing him even more than before.

Wordlessly, Steve pulls open the center consul and takes out a couple of napkins. Returning his attention to you, he wipes down the mess of you and his release off of you, causing you to shudder. He repeats 'sorry' over and over again as he does.

After that, he uses what's let to clean himself off before getting redressed. You move from your position on your back, sitting upright to ungracefully put your clothes back on. In the darkness of his car, you can't find the panties you were once wearing, deciding to forget about them and pull your leggings back on.

The blissful after glow that was once there is now demolished, a big elephant taking up most of the space now. When he moves back to the driver seat, you follow right behind him, planting yourself in the passenger.

Steve doesn't turn the car on just set, he just sits looking straight ahead through the clouded windshield to the darkness of the woods that sit in front of you. You want to say something, break up the awkwardness that sits between you two but you don't know what to even say.

It smells like sweat and sex, every window is fogged up with both of your hot breath, and the only sound that can be heard is the breaking of your heart.

You know he won't be back in two weeks, you know that his texts will stop rolling in, and that he'll eventually find someone to fill your spot. The bloodshed that's now left, of whatever this was, now fills the backseat of his car. A crime scene that will haunt him every time he looks in the rearview mirror, a murder by his own hands.

This cat and mouse game isn't fun anymore for Steve, not when he's lost at his own game. You're the cause of his demise, the girl that's broken through all his barriers.

Unbeknownst to you, you're all that Steve thinks about. Every morning, noon, and night, it's you that is on his mind. The months of seeing you, feeling you, the taste of you, were killing him softly. Steve didn't buy gifts for other girls, yeah he fucked around, but he never kept one around the way he did with you and he surely didn’t fuck them raw the way he does with you.

Steve was falling for you, opening himself up in such a vulnerable way that it scared him. He stopped the late night drive going nowhere, switching it to strictly going to lover's lake. The talks that he had with you, all the times you made each other laugh, were now replaced with short answers. Meeting up with you almost all the time now became once every couple of weeks.

You were the one thing, the one person Steve wanted and needed in his life but he couldn't give into it. He was a bad person, an asshole who turned good people into shells of themselves, and out of everyone he couldn't ruin you. He wouldn't ruin you.

Putting the keys into the ignition, he turns the car on, headlights illuminating the trees around you. Cracking the windows, he lets the cool air sweep the scent of you out of his car. Putting the car in drive, he presses down on the gas as hard as he can, taking off of in a flash.

The car ride home is silent, only the hum of his music can be heard with the whooshing of the wind. Anxiety fills your body, picking and pulling the skin around your nails with your teeth.

The loud ding of his phone rings out, a notification popping up on the Apple radio screen. Your heart cracking when you see it.

IMessage:

Jess💦: Still coming over?

Taking his phone out of the cupholder, his eyes are still trained on the road. As he pulls up to the red light, he types out something quickly and then puts it back down.

Another ding is heard and another notification pulls up on the larger screen.

IMessage:

Jess💦: See you soon daddy

Tears fall quietly from your eyes, your heart now completely shattered in the front seat of his car. You should've know, you did know and you still did it. You let your naïve heart believe that maybe you could change him, and you ended up looking like the idiot everyone said you were.

You can't even be mad because they were right, you were a goddamn idiot to think Steve Harrington loved you, let alone liked you enough to change.

More tears fall onto your cheeks, the burning feeling of a choked sob sits in the back of your throat. It feels like everything that could've went wrong, did just that.

The cold nip of the night air can't compete with the way your veins have frozen over and your heart slowly turning into a lump of coal. When he pulls in front of your house, he puts it in park and looks over at you.

“So,” he hesitates, “do you need money for a plan b?”

Your mouth hangs low in shock and he’s looking at you cluelessly. Scoffing at him you pull the handle to the door open.

“Don’t worry Harrington, I’m on birth control.” Putting a foot onto the ground, you got to get out, pausing turning your head back to him.

“Not like the world needs another you in it.”

Getting out of the car, you slam the door so hard you're surprised the glass doesn't shatter.

This was the end of whatever you and Steve were, him being the one to cut that pesky string that kept you close to him. Steve Harrington has changed you, a hateful person now replacing the sweet girl he loved so much.

The girl that Steve Harrington loves was now dead and Steve Harrington was now dead to you.

Thank you all for reading. The ending is rushed but we won't speak on that lmao. Love you all <3

#steve harrington #steve stranger things #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington smut #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington blurb #modern!steve harrington #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x fem!reader

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scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde · 5 months ago

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I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

#he did many things wrong BUT I PROMISE YOU HE IS MORE AWARE THAN YOU ARE #HE HATES HIMSELF MORE THAN YOU EVER COULD #this post has been building a lot because i just kEEP SEEING ALBUS HATERS AND ITS DRIVING ME INSANE #i am albus potters defence lawyer actually #also eloise bridgertons i am seeing far too many people jumping on that hate train #i know shes going through her im not like other girls i hate pink phase but OF COURSE SHE IS #SHE LIVES IN THE 1800S WOMEN ARENT ALLOWED TO DO SHIT SHE FEELS TRAPPED IN A BOX AND ALL SHE SEES IS OTHER PEOPLE PLAYING THEIR PARTS #i could talk about her a lot more but this isnt the time or place 😔✋🏻 eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you #also sansa stark i havent even watched game of thrones but i would fight to the death to defend her #her only crime was being a naive child and yet people hate her mercilessly #these are the people coming to me off the top of my head but there are countless fucking others #we are witnessing the death of media literacy and the death of nuance and its killing me i cannot fucking do this #i sincerely hope anyone complaining about al dont ever have teenage children because they will be shit at supporting or understanding them #hpcc #harry potter #albus potter #scorpius malfoy #years spent on tumblr and i still dont know how to tag #albus severus potter #harry potter and the cursed child #scorbus #is it cheeky if i tag bridgerton or game of thrones?#it feels cheeky 😔#the marauders #tagging that too because that fandom are fucking perpetrators of this #(said as someone in it dont come for me)

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raine-kai · 1 year ago

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How Much Ace Loved Luffy (and so does Sabo, but this is mostly about Ace)

I have been suffering from the worst One Piece brainrot. Seriously, I cannot think about anything else without bring it back to One Piece, which is particularly unfortunate this month when my schedule is completely nuts.

(A few days ago, I was reading a scientific paper and I saw the word "doctrine" and went "omg Dr. Kureha??? Why is this paper mentioning One Piece?"—it's that bad.)

The thing I have been thinking about the most is Luffy's relationship with his brothers.

First off, I would like to say that I vehemently disagree with the take that Sabo is just Ace 2.0. While the relay of their stories can make them feel that way on an emotional level, exacerbated by Sabo succeeding Ace with the flame-flame fruit powers, I think Oda has done an excellent job showing that they are very distinct not only in personality, but in their relationships with Luffy.

Ace was always the first brother.

He's the one who knows Garp just as well as Luffy. He's the one introduced to Luffy through Garp. He's the one Luffy initially attaches himself to. He's the one who was there all through Luffy's childhood and adolescence, who can do a handstand on Luffy's head with no explanation, knowing that Luffy can hold him and knowing that Luffy will understand exactly what he is telling Luffy to do.

Ace was also always the most self-deprecating brother. When he was arrested, his first and only request was that nobody tell Luffy about it. When talking to Jinbei, he tells him that he would have worried Luffy couldn't live without him, but having seen his crew, he knows that Luffy will be okay.

When Luffy hears that Ace is in trouble, his first reaction is that Ace has his own adventures, and that Ace will be angry if he drops everything to chase after Ace. But when he is told that Ace is in Impel Down and his execution day is already scheduled, he drops everything, including reuniting with his crew, to sneak into the highest security prison in the world to try to break out his brother.

Meanwhile, Sabo is the kind brother.

If Ace was aware of how codependent Luffy was with him and tried to utilize tough love to push Luffy away, he's also always been the most inclined to bicker and trade mockery and insults with Luffy. Meanwhile, Sabo has always been more inclined to be concerned for Luffy, and use positive reinforcement to help Luffy improve. When Ace and Luffy were at odds, Sabo was often the mediator.

Sabo and Ace have known each other longer than either of them has known Luffy, but their relationship as brothers exists because of Luffy. As Sabo pointed out in his farewell letter to Ace, they never even defined what kind of brother they were (a thing that has more significance in Japanese, where big brother/younger brother are terms far more common than the neutral "kyoudai", which translates to elder-brother-younger-brother, and can often denote a non-blood relationship).

Luffy is their crybaby weakling baby brother, and they are both willing to throw everything aside if they are worried that Luffy might be in trouble. Not once in the story have Ace or Sabo showed up without stepping in to rescue Luffy somehow.

But today, the rescue that sticks in my brain is the most painful one of all: the death of Portgas D. Ace.

In a world full of people who exposit about the honor and dignity of a death with a back unmarked by scars, Ace dies with his back to Akainu, whose fist goes right through the tattoo proclaiming Ace's loyalty to Whitebeard.

Whitebeard's significance in Ace's life was huge.

With Ace's anger issues rooted in a childhood of being told he should never have existed, his arc is about learning that yes, he deserved to exist—he deserved to live.

And while Luffy's love, Luffy declaring how much he needed Ace, provided something of a salvation, some kind of purpose, it was not enough. Because Ace was trying to teach Luffy to be self-sufficient—was trying to help him to grow up into a man who wouldn't need Ace. Even at the very end, as he thanks Luffy for loving him, he describes himself with self-deprecation.

Being needed wasn't enough. Ace needed Whitebeard, because he needed a parent figure whom he could believe loved him, for whom he was enough. His relationship with Dadan was too utilitarian: he brought her food, and she let him stick around. His relationship with Garp was too marked with the conflict born of Garp's stated wish for Ace and Luffy to become marines. Whitebeard was the first person to embrace Ace exactly as he was and call him his son, and never expect him to be or do anything else.

Ace is genuinely surprised at the war that is waged to save his life.

Not only does he not expect Luffy to show up, he doesn't even expect Whitebeard to show up.

Regarding Whitebeard, Ace sees his actions as his own failure. He did not listen when Whitebeard told him to let Blackbeard go. His own failure to heed his father's cautionary words should not be cause for his father to wage war on the marine headquarters, he thinks.

But when Luffy turns up, Ace shouts at him—exactly as Luffy had predicted. He demands to know what Luffy thinks he's doing, weakling that he is. That Ace has his own adventures and his own pirate crew, and he doesn't need Luffy to come too.

"I'm your little brother," says Luffy in response, and I always start tearing up at that line, in manga or anime.

As far as Luffy is concerned, losing Ace is not an option.

And that one line is all it takes to make Ace back off. To remember that yes—Luffy is still his little brother, though they each have their own crews now.

The Marineford War is so full of moments where Luffy shows himself to be capable of so much more than anybody expected was possible.

But of course we all know how it ends. Luffy is the one to free Ace, but he's also the one who doesn't notice how vulnerable he is to the charging Akainu.

And Ace takes the blow intended for Luffy with his back—right in the tattoo declaring his alliance to Whitebeard.

I can't stop thinking about the significance of this.

All Ace had ever been searching for—family, belonging, purpose, acknowledgement that he was wanted—he got from Whitebeard, who was his parent in a way that nobody ever was, breaking through his insecurities about his parentage in a way that surely only got through to Ace because Whitebeard is someone who personally knew Roger. In a world without Luffy, Whitebeard and his crew would have been Ace's salvation.

But we don't live in that world. We don't know if Ace would have made it long enough to join Whitebeard in a world without Luffy.

What Ace tells us in the way that he shielded Luffy from Akainu was that Luffy was worth more to him than everything he got from Whitebeard and everyone on that crew. That he loved Luffy above and beyond all others.

And he thanked Luffy (and Whitebeard and his crew) for loving him.

I'm sure there has been ample discourse on the significance of these things. I'm pretty sure I've read, if not participated in it. But having circled back here recently, I feel like I'm discovering the significance all anew.

Ace said thank you for loving me and not I love you because he saw more value in being loved than his own love. Surely it would have been more comforting to Luffy to hear that he was loved—but Ace is caught up in the idea that he is demonspawn, not worth existing, much less being loved.

With how much he talks about Luffy to everyone he meets, surely in a world where he did not have cause to question his existence, where he did not grow up knowing that the world wished him dead, he would have been happy to just exist with the brothers he loved. He would not have felt he needed to prove that he deserved to exist.

Meanwhile, though Luffy idealizes pirates from an earlier point in the story, their backstory shows us that Luffy's desire to grow stronger originates in learning how Sabo "died". And Ace supports this narrative that Luffy ought to grow stronger, more self-sufficient.

At Luffy's core is simply love: a desire to hold his loved ones close, to be strong enough to never lose them again.

But he lost Ace anyway.

And Ace just wanted Luffy to be safe—to go on without him. His only regret, he said, was that he wouldn't be around to see the end of Luffy's dream.

Ace, at his core, just wanted to be loved. And he had that, but was not able to accept it, to believe that he deserved it, until the very end.

And isn't that just heartbreaking?

I believe that it was Ace's spirit, realizing Sabo was still alive, who knocked the memory back into him, screaming at him what the hell has he been doing, go protect and support their baby brother.

I believe Ace still lives on in Luffy, who will never stop loving the brother who all but raised him.

But I need to cry about it anyway. Again.

#one piece #portgas d. ace #monkey d. luffy #asl brothers #sabo #marineford

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penny00dreadful · 1 year ago

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So... some of you may have noticed my fics have come to a screeching halt the last couple of months which is not like me and I am here to explain myself.

Babygirl, I have been preparing.

The end of this month is my 1 year anniversary of posting in this fandom, of posting any of my work online after not doing it for like fifteen fucking years and it has brought me so much incandescent joy, I decided I had to do something for it.

(I've also hit like... several milestones which is fucking insane like you all know I'm just some cranky bog witch, right??)

I have been working on my WIPs for over the last two months. All... holy mother of god... like nine of them???

Some of these have been completed, some I am still writing and some are mostly done.

So starting from my anniversary date, 23rd October, every second or third day, I'll be posting a chapter of something.

I have so much material built up this shit could go on until 2024

@hbyrde36 called it my own personal Penny00Dreadful BigBang... and yeah kinda! 😅

I wanted to do this to show just how much I love this community. Your kind words, your support, your unhinged ramblings, your obsessive love, your talent (for free??) it's all amazing it's so amazing and I wanted to explode forth with my love for it so I figured why the fuck not do this stupid idea??😅

All of these will be posted both to tumblr and AO3 so subscribe over there to keep updated or follow me here!

OH! And let me know if you wanna be tagged! If you wanna be tagged for a specific fic or for everything I'll add you, whatever you want.

You've made me so happy and so warm for the last year. The way I know if I'm having a bad day I just need to hop onto this side of tumblr and everything will be peaches and gravy again.

I love you guys so much. 😘🖤

Updated Schedule - (18th Feb 2024)

Fic list with blurbs below the cut, this will (roughly) be the order they're posted in:

Return of The King - COMPLETE

Steddie Vampire AU with a twist! Vampire Steve comes back after falling to the bats. There is two more chapters left and those chapters have been completed.

Comeuppance - COMPLETE

Dustin just wants Steve to be happy. So he tries to parent trap him with Nancy. Clearly they should be together. But Steve's heart doesn't even seem to be in it at all! How is he so bad at this? And Eddie is being less than helpful

Rookie Mistake - COMPLETE

My Steddie Established Relationship Spies AU oneshot that will have a multi-chapter prequel fic coming very soon after!

Eddie is "retired" and Steve has been injured on the job, so he's supposed to be taking it easy. How hard could a walk to the gas station be?

Before He Cheats - COMPLETE

Songfic! Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats

I literally have no excuse for this one. The rotted brainworms were behind the steering wheel with this one.

One evening, Eddie gets a call from some guy named Steve dropping the news on him that his boyfriend has been cheating on him. With this Steve person and Steve had no idea up until that day.

And Eddie rarely takes that shit lying down.

Steddievember Smut - COMPLETE

No Nut November is here! One can play however he wants. The other just has to wait for December to roll around. I have no other words to describe what this will be, it does what it says on the tin. I blame the STWG discord server. Currently we're looking at four little ficlets for this.

Cat and Mouse - COMPLETE

The Steddie Spies AU Prequel! How they got together and the extreme ups and downs their enemies/rivals to lovers journey goes through. I had so much fun with this one.

And They Were Roommates! - COMPLETE

omg they were roommates.

Steve and Eddie don't hate each other exactly. They just... tolerate each other. But one night Eddie doesn't come home for hours. Long after he's supposed to and it's not like Steve is worried or anything... he's just... concerned for a fellow human being... that's all.

Through The Valley - IN PROGRESS

Post-Apocalyptic AU. Eddie, Dustin and Nancy have a nice little community of survivors outside of Hawkins that they take care of, surviving day to day. Everyone's a little broken, missing the rest of their Party just hoping that one day they'll find each other again.

Devotion

Dungeons and Dragons AU. Steve is the golden boy of the small town of Hawkins. Harrington in name and now a Paladin with his very own oath to hunt down the Bard, the witch Eddie Munson and bring him back to justice under High Priest Henry Creel.

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 years ago

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Unsolicited 16

Warnings: bad self-thought/talk, bullying, insults, low self-esteem, money problems, oral/noncon, coercion, cum, some untagged sexual and dark elements.

Wouldn’t mind some feedback! Lloyd was driving me nuts so I had to do it. Thank you in advance 💜

Masterlist

It doesn't get easier. The only easy thing about it is Lloyd's absence.

You relegate yourself to the confines of the room allotted you for a ransom paid in flesh, only emerging for a glass of water or a nibble of anything you could stomach. You make sure tovtidy away all remnants of your existence and return to your isolation.

Days pass and you grow restless, anxious, sometimes bored. Thoughts of leaving and going down your own road fill your head but reality just as quickly plummets you back down. You have no money, no car, no support. Colin was supposed to be your everything, you hung your whole heart on him with no one else to carry the load. What a dumb mistake.

Maybe that's why it happened. Too needy, too desperate, too pathetic. Not enough, ever.

You wallow in self-pity, languishing between the hot ripples of the bath and the warmth of the lonely bed. It doesn't seem real, you don't want to accept it. You have to, even if you could live with the betrayal, you can't go back. As much as you know Lloyd wouldn't leave you in peace, you can't see Colin opening the door to you.

Good, you think sourly and mop away another wave of tears. You don't want him. The thought of even seeing him makes your stomach turn.

You sniff and scoff to yourself. You can't even tell yourself you're too good for him. Look at you. A whore. You're not stupid, that's what this is. A maid? No, a sex worker. Nothing wrong with the hustle but you never saw yourself in that position.

Really? You never did? Come on, you are what you are. Nothing ever goes right for you. Just as you predicted, your marriage was too good to be true.

Was it ever good?

The rose-tinted glasses slip off and you groan in agony. It’s like a knife in your gut, the bile spilling out and burning your insides. You’re so stupid! So weak!

And what you’ve done with Lloyd. How quickly you descended, how easily you let him peel away the last layers of dignity. Worse, is that it wasn’t all completely repugnant.

Before you can make yourself sick, you drag yourself out of bed and wearily let yourself into the hall. The house is so big that the silence is loud in the airy halls. You go downstairs, arms crossed as you take in the rooms one at a time, taking the time to truly see it all. You could never even dream to afford a place like this.

You go to the kitchen and take out a glass. You pause before you can fill it from the filter ensconced in the front of the fridge. You exhale and traipse away, sweat pants dragging at your heels as you find your way to the parlour. You near the cabinet of liquor; wine would be better but you could make do. No, he’d know.

“Pour me one while your at it,” you wince and turn, startled out of your oblivion.

Lloyd sits with an elbow bent over the side of a leather chair, his hair greasy with dried sweat, a cut across his cheekbone as examines another gash on his forearm. You tilt your head, how long has he been back?

Embarrassed you put the glass on the round glass table near another chair, “I wasn’t–”

“Look at you,” he grunts, “you need it and I wouldn’t say no to a double.”

You look him over again. He looks drawn and tired, slightly agitated at your reticence. You nod and turn back to the cabinet, taking out the same bottle as days before. You reach underneath for two of the short tumblers and cross to him, sitting as you set out your handful on the clear surface of the long table central to the curve-backed armchairs.

“Should I ask what happened to you?”

“No,” he says curtly and you uncap the bottle, “you got your head on straight again?”

You meet his glare as you hover the bottle above the table, “yes, daddy.”

He tweaks a brow and sits back with a sigh, “good, I don’t got the energy for another fussy bitch.”

You say nothing and pour the drinks, a single for you, before sliding over his generous helping. He reaches for it, downing it in a swift gulp and you don’t bother with your own as his fingers lead a smear of blood on the crystal. You stand and leave him, trying to remember where you saw the box.

In the bathroom under the sink, you retrieve the first aid kit and its contents shuffle as you hurry back. As you enter, he’s drinking straight from the neck of the bottle. You place the white chest on the table and flip the lid up, pulling out an alcohol wipe and tearing open the packet.

“Sit down and have your drink,” he orders as he clunks the bottle down.

“You’re bleeding everywhere.”

“And?”

“And, it ‘s my job to clean that up,” you insist as you try to wipe his cheek and he swats you away.

“I’m not a baby.”

“Not all the time,” you say.

“Hey,” he points at you, his eyes flashing, pupils dilated dangerously.

“Sorry,” you purse your lips and let your hand fall to your side, “daddy… please, let me clean you up good.”

He squints and flutters his fingers in surrender, letting his arm drape over the side of the chair. You take a breath and get closer, bending slightly to dab at his cheek as he winces. He seems annoyed but lets you wipe away the crusted blood and blot down the fresh flow.

“What are you wearing?” He snarls.

You shrug, your slobbish tee and sweats the least of your concerns. You get down to your knees and turn his arm, wiping the larger cut on his arm. You cluck, “I think you should probably get some stitches–”

“Just use the strips,” he says dismissively, “so, you’ve been enjoying your alone time…” he intones and you flinch as he touches your raw cheek, “have a good cry over that buffoon?”

You clear your throat and swallow, focusing on his arm. You take out steri strips, trying to place them along the gash. You’re no professional but it’ll have to do. He curls his fingers and the veins in his forearm bulge, the scrapes along his knuckles throbbing red as he strains them.

“Baby,” he warns.

“Sure did,” you answer as you crumple up the wrappers.

You don’t want to provoke him as he remains prickly. He reaches for the bottle again as you turn to pack up the chest. Your thoughts abandon your former melancholy, spiking with dangerous curiosity.

You go to rise and he catches the box, tossing it back on the table, nearly bowling over the bottle and glasses. He grabs your shoulder as he leans forward and smirks. “While you’re down there, sweetheart, I got a load to take off… got me?”

You look at him defiantly. There’s something about him that makes you nervous. He always irks you, always makes you uneasy, but there’s a shadow over him. The iron smell of blood tugs at your mind, is it all his own?

This is a mansion that screams blood money. The house, the bruises, the gun... this man does unthinkable things. So you won't think of them.

You move between his legs as he sits back, another long exhales as he pushes his hair back and the tension leaves his body. You place your hands on his thighs and he groans, expectation sends a shiver through him and you trail your touch up to his fly. He closes his eyes as he hangs his head back.

“Burn those fucking sweatpants,” he sneers as you pull down his zipper, “next time I get back, you’re wearing what I give you or nothing at all.”

#lloyd hansen x reader #dark lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #the grey man #the gray man #au #drabble #dark drabble #dark!drabble #unsolicited

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charmikarma · 11 months ago

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hallo it's me. (crookedgrifter) I'm back and I want your davejade / davejadekat thoughts. gimme

my thoughts huh ... i sure am a rambler so you're gonna get a whole essay on this

i guess in thinking abt davejadekat it always starts with jade. which is well enough because davekat has been talked to death at this point, hasn't it? i don't think i could tell you anything new or interesting about that dynamic at this point.

ANYWAY. jade. i kind of get into this in my polar express fic which ik you've read, but she is SO lonely. what the fuck are you supposed to do for ~10 years alone on an island with just a dog?? a dog who could take you somewhere else, somewhere with people, but he won't. and maybe jade knows why because of her dreams on prospit, but also maybe not! either way i think she puts a lot of faith in her dreams. it's kind of the only hope she has for the future.

i think she also has some hope in dave, this really cool dude she has this awkward internet middle school crush on. and dave is super cool to her too! i think it's implied he furry roleplays with her even?? cutest shit ever. i think this is the thing that has made me always love davejade ... they are just. so sweet to each other. dave clearly cares SO much about her.

the other thing about jade is... she's kinda fucked over repeatedly by the narrative, isn't she? she's the last beta kid introduced, so she has a lot less time to develop. the closest she really gets to developing is being really pissed off at karkat after her dreamself dies (i'll talk about this in a sec). her arc basically ends at cascade. her character arc ends in the dead middle of the comic, in a flash animation that contains exactly 0 character development. hussie says so himself in the author's notes. (don't even get me started on the author's notes jesus christ.) everything that happens on the boat is pretty much irrelevant, because it gets retconned out. instead she spends 3 years completely fucking alone, and we like... barely unpack this in canon.

so her life story up until this point is basically: raised by grandpa till ~3-5ish > living on her own till 13 > meeting dave briefly in the game > DAVE FUCKING DIES IN FRONT OF HER, WITH HER OWN BULLETS > she meets john briefly > JOHN AND DAVESPRITE FUCKING DIE > she spends 3 years alone with no solace except "yeah they had to die but you'll see them again in the new session" from alt!calliope and i guess a bunch of sprites and consorts and chess dudes. she says it herself: as nice as it is to have these folks around, they're not able to relate to her. they're not fellow thirteen year old kids. she may not be technically alone, but she is essentially alone, and she just 1. died twice in one day and 2. witnessed the deaths of several of her friends.

more on being fucked over by the narrative - jade actually has a kind of interesting dynamic with karkat in the middle of a5a2! what happens with this dynamic later on? fucking nothing!!!! like seriously i am so interested in this whole. self-hatred parallel that gets drawn between them and then how jade puts her foot down and is like you are fucking nuts. no more yelling at yourself. and it goes nowhere!! this dynamic exists for like, maybe 1% of the comic. it's really fucking sad honestly. even at the very end of homestuck, she has to be sidelined for being too powerful, thereby excluding her from all the endgame convos. like we cannot win with her

ok anyway, here's where i get into the stuff i think is really interesting. at the end of homestuck, alt!calliope tells jade that she's suffered enough, and that it's time for her to live her life how she wants to. we don't see how this plays out in homestuck proper, BUT...... the epilogues. sighs heavily.

i may be an epilogues lover but even i have to admit that jade's portrayal is.... a mess. i don't think it's wildly out of character, exactly, but it definitely toes the line... and it's definitely extremely fucking uncomfortable. it does, however, give me some insight into how i think about jade now, because while the minutiae don't really feel in character, i do think the broad strokes of what they were going for make sense.

jade took alt!calliope's words and said, fuck it. i will take charge! i won't wait anymore! i am going to have what i want. and she does get a lot of that! she gets to hang out with her friends, hang out with her brother, meet a ton of people, have a bunch of sex (presumably when she's older), and so on. but see... doing a lot of things doesn't really fill the emptiness she feels. she has so much love to give and not enough outlet for it. she needs all the love in the world and has nobody to give it to her. and she still has this big fat ten-year-old crush on dave strider that never went anywhere. but the approach she takes to life now is just... so incompatible with what dave needs. same for karkat. they both need a LOT of patience to come out of their shells, and jade is living life in the fast lane. the more she pushes, the more withdrawn they become. it is a disaster.

i want to fix it so fucking bad.

jade needs a lot of character development for all this to work, but the dynamic is absolutely there. some of their convos in early meat are so fucking funny dude, they are such good friends. it is absolutely not for lack of caring on either dave or karkat's part that things don't work out in the epilogues. it's this disconnect between what jade thinks is helpful and what dave and karkat need. i really want jade to find the balance between living at breakneck speed and waiting ten years for something to happen. i want her to feel loved for once in her damn life. and i want dave and karkat to stop being such depressing shut-ins. please guys you could balance each other out if you would just figure out how to communicate

anyway. there's your essay. it's mostly about jade. hope that's ok. i love jade harley so much my ultimate goal is to see her happy and mark my words i will figure out how

#homestuck #homestuck meta #jade harley #davejade #davejadekat #I GUESS??#this is basically me rambling about jade for 3 hours let's be real here #ask #mine #jadepost

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itoshi-s · 2 years ago

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I really don't know but — aiku,sae and rin having a pillow princess girlfriend!! I'm crazy for it. How are you btw?

oooohhhh :(((( yes def they love their girl like that !!!!!! let me expand

rin's a service dom and i will die on this hill !!!!!! he gets off on ruining you so much oml it's not like he's even doing this for your pleasure at this point. nahhhh he's doing it for HIMSELF and that's the single hottest thing he does kghadskfhsa like.. mouth full of ur cunt, fingers deep and messy all the way to the last knuckle and he groans so loud while he's at it :( ruts into the bed bc all the sounds you're letting out and the taste of u on his tongue makes his head dizzy and vision starry. so OF COURSE he's not lettin u do as much as move a single finger. he has the upper hand w u at all times - easily manhandles u into any position he wants to try this time,, pins your hips down when you try to move away. orders u around bc he knows you'll listen - he makes u feel so good after all :(

i did mention it b4 prob in dawn's ask sometime ago kjfhsaf but sae on the other hand is the meanest dom ever !!! GAWD i think yall can get the appeal already from my works but he absolutely ADORES ruining u completely. loooooves the sight of u crying and grows ridiculously hard at your begging to stop already :( he needs you to be as pliable 4 him as possible and you are more than happy to oblige !! he wouldn't want it any other way tbh i feel like despite him being so seemingly in control over everything, he rly isnt. it messes with his head real bad (therapy babes. pls try it out) and he finds that seeing you, his one and only, completely at his mercy and giving him the prettiest look when you give into all of his fantasies, is making his mind slow down and leaves him feeling a little better </3

OLIVER AIKU ON THE OTHER HAND...... NAURRRR that boy is a REAL pussy pleaser man he rly is. he's not deranged like the itoshis !!!!! he just LOOOOOOVEEEEEEES the sight of you when you lay back on the pillows, legs spread and cunt already leaking for him. make m' feel good, oli? please? HE GOES NUTS AKJHFSKJ man i feel like he just has sm fun with sex really. and seeing his girl writhing w pleasure that he gives her so enthusiastically is what makes it so enjoyable :( he just doesn't think a pretty girl like u should do as much as bat an eye in terms of receiving pleasure. unless that's not what you're after - that's fine !!!!! he's just rly focused on u n loves being at your service <3 wouldn't call him a service dom tho this mans is just so in love with u and wants to show it !!!!!

#✧.* lovelies (ﾉ´ з `) / (kaemin)#sae <3 #rin my love #oliver !!#itoshi sae smut #itoshi rin smut #oliver aiku smut #blue lock smut #bllk smut #ty for askin bbie im good !!! a lil tired but good nonetheless #need to work on sum uni stuff tho !!!#hope you're doing good as well bbie <333 mwaaaaah

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missveryvery · 1 year ago

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FengQing dynamics, book vs fan interpretation, General Thoughts about Clown Generals:

Mostly me trying to stare at canon and figure out what these dumbasses think about each other and what their actual relationship is, what's actually written instead of my hopes and dreams for clown love.

we all keep writing/drawing Mu Qing being the mean one and Feng Xin as the nice one but....Feng Xin is the one that relentlessly says horrible things to him, usually unprovoked.

Feng Xin's insults:

That he hates him, that he never wants to see him again, that he's lying, that whenever he sees him doing something it absolutely must be for personal/nefarious reasons, that he's happy when xl does crimes, he's untrustworthy, that he's always scheming, that he thinks he's better than he is, that he wouldn't be where he is without Xie Lian.

Mu Qing's insults are:

that Feng Xin is just as "disloyal" as him for leaving. Basically, his usual argument is "you are just as bad as me." This is his big thing, arguably his only thing.

He maybe thinks the bathhouse is Feng Xin's fault, like he took them somewhere perverted on purpose

His statues? whack.

Says Feng Xin made a big deal about nothing about Xie Lian stealing.

I'm wracking my brain here because a lot of them aren't personal insults so much as making fun of him for something rather than saying he's a bad person. Like he tells Xie Lian about the Ju Yang thing. That's not something Feng Xin did wrong, it's something embarrassing that happened to Feng Xin.

Here's one:

Actually, rereading this, I wonder if he meant Xie Lian...? Since that's the person who they felt like couldn't tell who was a ghost. And Feng Xin has always been able to discern ghostness so far so that seems weirdly specific. Which is nuts because I think we all feel like Mu Qing should insult his intelligence all the time (Feng Xin isn't as dumb as I wish he was, though so...)

I'm extremely guilty of all of this, to be clear. And I don't know why. Sometimes I carefully have Feng Xin realize he was awful and be apologetic, sometimes deal with it.

But probably most of the time, offhandedly, I'm like "Ah yes mq wouldn't catch him in a trust fall", which is something I just saw on my dash. when it's demonstrably, literally untrue, right?

They would both catch each other without hesitation. They literally do! Even when it's at a great risk to themselves!

I think the difference is what they think will happen:

Mu Qing, idk I could go either way. He might know that Feng Xin will catch him because Feng Xin is Like That. Or he might think it's a big question mark.

By Tong'lu he says something to the effect that he's running from them because they'll just kill him if they get ahold of him. But by then things have been escalating. Feng Xin hit him during the avalanche thing off screen and Mu Qing was surprised by it and asked why he'd hit him. We saw Feng Xin punch him before (after ghost city arc), but Mu Qing wasn't confused as to why that time. In other words, normally he might completely trust him but the events of the book threw everything out the window.

But I can't say for sure what Mu Qing would think would happen.

Weirdly, Feng Xin's response is the more complicated one.

Feng Xin does NOT think Mu Qing will or has serious doubts. Except...that's just what he'll verbalize. Literally what happens in the book, he gives no visible indication that he even remotely believes Mu Qing's explanations at Tong'lu.

It's only after Mu Qing suddenly disappears that the narrator tells us that he wasn't as convinced of Mu Qing 's guilt as he acted. He was just pissed and being an asshole. Mu Qing's disappearance is what actually shakes Feng Xin's belief in Mu Qing.

They have another argument earlier about JL:

-Feng Xin assumes the worst

-Mu Qing explains

-Feng Xin backs down for the moment (and goes to have a nervous breakdown)

-but when he sees him again he starts attacking him (avalanche scene), and this fight is bad enough that they've actually pulled weapons on each other

-This fight/argument continues until Hua Cheng shows up and they have bigger things to worry about

Then we have this:

Feng Xin's pattern might be:

Get mad, assume the worst, say things he doesn't mean, eventually calms down about it/acts like it's fine.

There are a couple times where he's argued into shutting up. It's just that he will bring that thing out, that he has been acting like he calmed down about and accepted, when he's mad.

I think he actually does at least subconsciously believe an Mu Qing Explanation PowerPoint. Why? Because that's what his overall behavior reflects. Or, even if, let's say he doesn't believe anything Mu Qing says ever, thinks he's the fucking worst: he still goes on little adventures with him and hangs out with him.

He doesn't suffer people he dislikes very much, does he? He doesn't even want Xie Lian to hang out with Hua Cheng! He's very "don't associate with those kinds of people." Actually, basically everything you "know" about Feng Xin, is not quite accurate by the end of the book, just like it is with Mu Qing.

Anyway, he still happily puts Xie Lian in a dress with Mu Qing. That's basically the definition of a sworn brother.

But at the end of the day, even though I think this is all very shitty behavior on Feng Xin's part and jail for Feng Xin, jail for Feng Xin for One Thousand Years, their relationship is something Mu Qing likes. He cares what he thinks about him. He doesn't want Feng Xin to think badly of him. Despite Feng Xin being the least generous person with benefit of the doubt, he still defends himself with him and the only other person he does that with is Xie Lian. Everyone else he's accepted he can't do anything about.

Like they must be having good times together that they both find worthwhile or they wouldn't be together. He must find things about him that he values.

Best guess is: he admires Feng Xin's selflessness and devotion to "what's right", the same way he thinks Xie Lian is cool. He wants to be around these two people. These are also the aspects he fucking hates the most and says are stupid and pointless and will get you killed. He hates this behavior, he rants about it, he is horrified by it, and yet he is someone who does it over and over and over again. And it always comes back to bite him in the ass.

As for what Feng Xin likes about Mu Qing...I don't know. Like I can't even guess. He likes the Queen a lot who is gentle and kind hearted and he likes the bravery and toughness of JL. He idolizes Xie Lian. But at no point does he assert Mu Qing is anything but the opposite of those people. Even when he has evidence to the contrary he forgets it or dismisses it. So I really have no idea what a canon reason is for him to like Mu Qing.

Maybe he thinks "I'll go with him because it seems fun or interesting" and "I have to protect him" and doesn't consciously attribute any part of that to Mu Qing.

It's possible he doesn't actually like him, as much as I hate to admit it, this would be mind-numbingly realistic for a guy that doesn't like thinking deeply about things. I think a lot of people don't think too deeply about friendship, because most of the time it's about familiarity and proximity and availability. We both like this activity, you're the person I know, we do it together. I'm sure you've met people, even married couples, that when it comes down to it don't actually like each other, they're just together out of familiarity and habit.

I do wonder what it would have been like if Mu Qing had died, that's kind of the usual outcome for a character like this, I feel like I rarely see in an adult book where a character like this has a suicide mission and then is ok or not, idk, very fucked up by it at least.

I do think they're friends, canonically, but I think their relationship is very unlike what we're used to seeing. But I also think mirrors closely a lot of relationships you see in real life, especially with dudes who hang out but don't figure out a Very Important Subject Ever.

Mostly this was just me making notes to myself and then I thought I'd share.

#tgcf meta #fengqing #feng xin #mu qing #xie lian #I added alt text this time like a good human being

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