#everything else is very far behind
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Got tagged by @tissitpoispaita for the "put your playlist on shuffle and post 10 songs" meme (thank you! Glad I can participate in the rituals again). I don't have a playlist currently, my main way to listen to music is going to youtube and finding what I want. So I went through my history, disregarded the autoplayed songs/artists, and put one song for each artist which I deliberately sought out.
TOOL - Lateralus
Juno Reactor - God is God
Ai vist lo lop (Occitan folk song, band uncredited, probably Hollóének Hungarica)
Kent - KÀrleken vÀntar
Biggie Smalls feat. Thomas the Tank Engine
Pathologic (Classic) OST - Utroba Night (Stone Yard)
Turisas - To Holmgard and Beyond
Heroes of Might and Magic 4 - Combat Theme IV
Path of Exile soundtrack - The Grand Arena
The place promised in our early days OST - 16 solitude
Tagging @starfally @blackrabbitrun @momiji-no-monogatari @yuuago @superdark33 @menhavingagoodtime @lcatala @vakavanhasaatana (pretty sure at least a couple of you will resent being tagged but this is part of the fun isn't it :D I'm thinking of you have a great day!)
#this was a fun exercise actually#revealing even for me#it seems like the vast majority of the music ive listened to in the last couple of weeks#has been Pathologic OST#everything else is very far behind#but i am drawing Patho fanart currently#idk why some of the tags are not working i know y'all are not bots
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day 1 of officially being an english literature student i am searching every corner of the house to gather all the books i need đ
#im so lucky that everything theyve done so far is either something ive already read or very short novellas & poems lol im 3 weeks behind#everyone else but it shouldnt be crazy hard to catch up
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really starting to believe that psychic who claimed iâm cursed
#like absolutely NOTHING goes right in my life#i have no friends no social life no partner have never been in a relationship even though iâm almost 30#i still live at home my job has horrible working hours and makes me absolutely miserable#like i canât name you a single thing that goes right in my life iâm so far behind everyone#i wasted so many years studying and iâve got nothing to show for it iâm a pathetic excuse of a human#i really wish i could give my life to someone who deserves it way more than me someone who really wants to live#the psychic claimed that my ex best friendâs mother cursed me#and i do find it somewhat silly to blame everything that goes wrong in my life on someone else or outer forces#but our friendship ended VERY poorly and her mother absolutely hated me by the end of it#so it honesty doesnât seem too far fetched#bc ever since we went our separate ways which i never regretted btw iâve just been struggling to survive#like if iâm honest iâm intelligent iâm capable iâm pretty iâm kind iâm funny but my whole life is a struggle#i know that my depression anxiety and overall low self esteem closes a lot of doors for me#but itâs just insane how unlucky i am like it canât be a coincidence anymore#itâs just so heartbreaking when all your efforts are in vain like i try sooooo hard but itâs never enough#the psychic claimed the mother put a curse on me that basically blocks all roads for me#and like i said i havenât had success or happiness in both my personal and professional life#it feels like every time i take step forward i take 3 back#good things never stay for long and bad things are so excruciatingly bad itâs unbearable#iâm just exhausted with everything⊠life shouldnât be so fucking difficult wether itâs a curse or not#i know i also have many things to be thankful for but it seems like all the important milestones are eluding me#âïž
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Okay Idk how much I'm going to engage with posts about tonight's episode or even Bucktommy in general atm because I am devastated by what happened and honestly the more I think about it the more pissed off I get, so it would probably be better for me to not...but ily Bucktommy Nation I hate that we're here rn
#Bucktommy was truly one of the very few bright spots I had to hold onto rn after my dog passed away and the election#so I'm litrally just heartbroken and furious about the direction this ep took. there was no reason or sense behind it it was just awful#to the characters & to Lou & to us as a fandom & I'm really feeling done rn idk if this can be fixed but if it's not I will most likely stop#watching. seriously I was starting to tune out of 911 as far back as probably season 5 and I've watched since it started airing but I was#always pretty casual GA until Bucktommy happened and I fell in love with that ship and Tommy as Buck has always been my fav and he finally#seemed to have something really good going for him. but it seems they've chosen to ruin it and spit on his character and us so đ€·đŒââïž idek#it just really sucks#I literally cried for like 20 minutes embarrassed to admit but now I'm just mad and sick to my stomach tbh#I've been on the brink for days with everything else and the one thing I thought I could count on to cheer me up does this#911 spoilers#911 abc#bucktommy
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I SHOULD HAVE GONE INTO RADIOOOOOOOO
#the only benefit of art school is MY FRIENDS!!! maybe i would be better at art now if i hadnt gone bc i could have kept it as a hobby...#but i do love everything i have learned. i really do. unfortunately i think more than anything i am just bad at existing and doing things#i used to be able to do things. in high school. existing i still wasnt good at doing that there either. but at least i did things on my own#and at the time felt i was good at them. now im just bad at existing and doing things and do nothing worthwhile that i love anymore#oh it sucks to have this realization every other day. to just know you are very bad at what you wanted to do so badly. and just feel like#all you can do is give up on it. i know i shouldnt. but it's very hard not to want to. when you see everyone else around you getting better#and still doing art on their own time. and you see your own stuff and realize you have gotten worse. dont progress. and cant even do it as#hobby anymore. when you see how far behind you are from everyone else and see how your work has lost confidence it just sucks badly. yknow#i wish my brain worked better desperately bc i do think that is part of it. but im just lazy. and bad at this. and have no drive for anythi#im not very good at any of this overall. and it makes me sad. im the only thing in my way of what i want but i dont know how to move forwar#oh well. one day something better will come my way if im lucky. if i do better. one day i'll do better. i hope. i really really hope.#static.soundz#vent.txt#SORRY i got whiney and self pitying in my tags even though i said i wouldnt well unfortunately I Am Not Strong and need to make posts#bc this is my diary where i say everything ever good and bad beneficial and detrimental bc what else should i be doing with this blog huh
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ALYYYY hope you'll feel better soon đ„șđ„°đ€
I'll be alright, I promise, there's just a lot going on rn and I'm so so tired. But thank you, I really do appreciate your kindness and friendship so so much đ
#sending so much love your way I hope you're doing alright and if not I hope things get better so so very soon#sorry I've been very behind and missing a lot of things#my brain's very fuzzy rn and it's probably gonna get worse as this season moves in bc me and the holidays do not get along#and on top of everything else? I'm so tired and trying so hard not to fall too far behind#I'm just a lil slow rn but I'm gettin there#ily friend
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just got hit with an intense wave of creative inferiority
ugh
#cast converses#negative#it just feels very pointless to put the effort into finishing ANYTHING#i'm so far behind everyone else skill wise on like. everything#i'm too slow at drawing and can't put pieces out fast enough for it to matter#i haven't actually FINISHED anything in so long#i do still draw i just. can't make my brain accept a piece is finished anymore#i'm not very good on a technical level#ugh#why do these things seem to come so effortlessly to other people but are such an immense struggle for me??
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constantly thinking about how difficult it is to find actual discussions of mental health in tandem with creative work and how that's probably contributed somewhat to me thinking that my work is consistently garbage and wondering why i'm so behind my peers when the simple answer is less "you are inherently talentless" and more "actually learning and enjoying what you do is difficult when you're in a bad situation and struggle with undiagnosed neurodivergencies and depression on top of very low self esteem" and somehow the only avenue i've ever seen people talk about this from is through the lens of a neurotypical person who has never practiced introspection once in their life giving incredibly broad, surface level advice you'd tell a child
#maybe other people have had better luck but for me much like everything else it's been a case of#analyzing my situation and constructing methods to navigate it entirely on my own#and there's been so much fucking failure to do this along the way because i have to work around my own specific problems#and understand the way i'm dealing with them internally#and it feels like i've only very very recently figured out how to work within these constraints through all this trial and error#so i've only recently started feeling like i can actually enjoy art enough to where i can do it more consistently and actually improve#and even then there's an issue with standards-setting that basic advice doesn't work to fix#because all i can think about is how far behind all these issues have put me and i'm terrified i might never make up for all that time lost
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WHUMPTOBER 2024: PROMPTS LIST
Welcome to Whumptober 2024 â Seventh Time's a Charm!
Please make sure to read the Event Info and FAQ below carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.
This yearâs AO3 Collection can be found here.
This year's playlist can be found here.
The 'Anatomy of a Whumptober Prompt' post can be found here.
And our 'Resources for Writing Sensitive Topics' post is here.
Weâre very excited to see the community come together for another year of Whumptober! Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!
Best of luck and happy whumping,
Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro
(Text versions of the prompts, as well as event information, rules and FAQ are posted below the cut!)
Whumptober 2024 Prompt List
No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK
Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.â (Icysami x Renegaderr, Strangers.)
No. 2: TRUST ISSUES
Amusement Park | Role Reversal | âYou got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.â (Charlotte Sands, Rollercoaster)
No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE
Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."
No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS
Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | âYou're still alive in my head.â (Billy Lockett, More)
No. 5: SUNBURN
Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)
No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED
Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."
No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES
Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."
No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION
Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)
No. 9: OBSESSION
Broken Window | Bruises | âFrame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.â (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible)
No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD
Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."
No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE
Convenience Store | Loneliness | âLeave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.â (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)
No. 12: STARVATION
Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."
No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY
Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)
No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD
Hunting Gear | Blackmail | âBecause I want you to know what it feels like to be hauntedâ (tiLLie, kooL aiD mAn)
No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"
No. 16: NECROSIS
Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."
No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO
Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."
No. 18: REVENGE
Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | âI see what's mine and take it.â (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)
No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL
Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)
No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST
Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."
No. 21: BODY HORROR
Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | âLet the bedsheet soak up the tears.â (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)
No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES
Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."
No. 23: FORCED CHOICE
Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."
No. 24: RADIATION POISONING
Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | âI never knew daylight could be so violent.â (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)
No. 25: SURGERY
Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."
No. 26: NIGHTMARES
Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | âI'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.â (Poe, Haunted)
No. 27: VOICELESS
Laboratory | Muzzled | âI have no mouth and I must scream.â
No. 28: DENIAL
CCTV | Exposure | "They caught me red handed."
No. 29: FATIGUE
Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"
No. 30: RECOVERY
Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"
No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP
Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)
Alternatives List:
Body Swap
Communication Barrier
Finding Old Messages
Forgotten
Friendly Fire
Motion Sickness
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown
Regret
Secrets Revealed
Shivering
Survivor's Guilt
Time Loop
Used As Bait
Venom
Vermin
Event Info & Rules
WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way youâd like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you donât have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is âflame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be a reference to an âold flameâ - an old relationship. Itâs truly down to you!
In total, there are 4 prompts for each day. These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives. We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks. There is also a list of 15 alternative prompts that can be subbed in for any day, again to give participants as much creative freedom as possible.
Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you donât have to do ALL the prompts if you donât want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.
When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag it with:
#whumptober2024 âŠ..(the event tag)
#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, âŠ..(theme number)
#bruises, #stabbing, âŠ..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)
#altprompt âŠ..(if you use an altprompt, tag the post with the number of the prompt you replace)
#fandom or #OC, âŠ..(ironman, original content, oc, etc.)
#medium âŠ..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)
#teeth, #etc âŠ..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add âtwâ in front but only use the word/trigger itself)
#nsfwhump âŠ..(only for nsfw content)
#your own tags go here
PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]
Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.
Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed. This is based on trust and we will not check this.
Frequently Asked Questions
Please read this before you send an ask!
TIMELINE
July: Trope voting form released. Late August: Prompt list is released for at least four weeks of preparation time. Tropes cannot be posted earlier than August 25th because of Moderator obligations in real life. (But, you know, go ahead and start writing/drawing, and add the themes in later, if you want!) September: Do as much or as little on your works as you want. You can prepare everything in advance or let September go by with vibes and start working in October. Itâs up to you. October 1st: Challenge begins! A storm of whump breaks upon us all! During this time, some posts will be reblogged to the whumptober archive blog. We open the yearly AO3 collection for posting (optional). November 1st: The challenge is officially over! Completionist form opens for those who want to be included in the hall-of-fame. Early November: We release completionist and participant badges, solicit feedback, and post a hall-of-fame list of completionists by the 10th.
PARTICIPATION AND COMPLETION
Q: What counts as participation? Create or continue at least one work inspired by one of this yearâs prompts. Q: What counts as completion? Creating work(s) inspired by at least one prompt from each day (or alts), for a total of 31 unique prompts. Q: Do I need to create 31 works? No. You can, if you want. Or you can create one work that you add to every day with a new prompt. Or several works that combine prompts. You can also update an existing work by adding new material with the current prompts. Q: Do I need to post my works somewhere to be a completionist or a participant? No. Q: How do you know I actually completed the challenge? Weâll take your word for it! Q: Do I have to finish my work(s) to be a completionist? No, you can post WIPs. And youâre not obligated to finish them in October, but if you want it to count towards being a completionist, you must have completed 31 prompts by the end of the month. So for example, if youâre writing a long fic and you fit 31 different prompts into the writing you did in October, itâs okay if that fic isnât finished by the time October ends, youâll still be a completionist. Q: Is co-writing/illustrating allowed? Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you. Q: Is there a min/max limit on word count for written works? No. Q: Is there a min/max limit of quality for art? No. Q: Do I have to do something each day to be a completionist? No. You can skip days whenever you want, and as long as 31 daily prompts (or alts) are in your works done in October, you can be a completionist. For example, if you wrote a 1000-word ficlet that covers prompts in days 2, 3, and 17, you can check all three days off your list even though itâs only one work. Q: Is this challenge just for fics? No! Artworks, GIFsets, headcannons, rec lists, poetry, moodboards, or any other creative work is encouraged. Q: Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges? Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.
PROMPTS
Q: How do the prompts work? There are FOUR prompts per day: a theme and three ideas. You can use one, two, three, or all four prompts for each day. If you donât like any of the daily prompts, you can substitute one of the ALT prompts instead. Q: How strictly/literally should we interpret the prompts? As literally or as figuratively as you want. For example, if the theme is WATER, that could mean drowning, waterboarding, raining, swimming, take place underwater, be lost at sea, construct a metaphor about a characterâs mood that changes like a flowing river, crying, or whatever else you can think of that fits that theme. Q: Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many? No limit and combine as many as youâd like. If you create a work that checks off multiple prompts, that work will count for a fill of multiple prompts. You need to address 31 different prompts to be an official completionist, but you donât have to produce 31 separate works.
WORKS
Q: Whatâs whump? Hurting a character, whether thatâs physically, emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, or any other way you can think of. Comfort afterwards is optional. Angst is emotional whump, so it counts. Q: How do I know if itâs whumpy enough? If your character is just mildly inconvenienced, it probably needs more whump. However, no participant has to prove whumpiness to the mods. Whatever you write is up to you. Q: What kind of characters can I create for? Anything. Generic âwhumpee,â OC, PC, NPC, major characters, minor characters, or whatever you want. There are no limits. Q: Does it have to take place in a specific fandom? No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want. Q: Can I create AI-created works? We will not reblog or promote any works we know to be generative AI-created. Q: Is there anything weâre not allowed to write? As long as it contains whump and is based on our prompts, itâs fine. Please courtesy tag your works if you post them so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences. Q: What about sex, minor characters, and potentially disturbing content? You can create whatever works are legal in your country and post them accordingly. Please courtesy tag anything you think might be objectionable if you post to Tumblr so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences.
POSTING
Q: Where can I post my work? Post where and how you want. You donât even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if itâs not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive. There is an AO3 archive for Whumptober 2024, as well as the parent collection for works completed outside of the event. Q: Can I start posting early? You can, but this is an October event and wouldnât it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? We wonât be reblogging any work predating October 1st. Q: Can I post late? Yes. For the sake of our hardworking Post Fairies, only a dayâs themes will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive each day of October. But you can post whenever. Some of us are still working on and posting Whumptober fics from years ago. Q: Do I have to use your tags? Only on Tumblr and only if you want us to reblog your work on @whumptober-archive. Q: How do I have my works reblogged to the archive? Properly tagged posts will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive. If you want the official archive blog to reblog you, post on Tumblr and tag correctly (see this FAQ link for more info on tagging). Please note not all posts will be reblogged each day. Q: Can we @ you? For questions and comments, of course. Weâll be getting a flood of notifications, so if you really want us to see something send an ask. Q: Can I cross post on other blogs? Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable, as long as they allow cross-posting (to us). You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once. If you post some works under your main and others under an alt blog, thatâs fine for completionist purposes. Q: Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms? Of course! Weâve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there, which can be found here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the personal boundaries of any whumpers in your social circle (donât out anyone as a participant who would prefer not to be outed).
Most importantly, have fun, create, and enjoy all the whump posted this October!
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Isn't That Sweet? (I Guess So) - G.S.
Synopsis. Oh no! Why do your pantĂes keep disappearing? Well, maybe your hot roommate knows the answerâŠ
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, pĂ nty-stealer! roommate! Gojo, annoyances-to-lovers, heâs REALLY down bad, vĂrgin! Gojo, oraI (fem receiving), mĂ le mĂ sturbation, pining, face-sĂtting, jealousy (his side), fĂrst times, unprotected, creampĂe, teary Gojo, pĂ nty-gagging, HEINOUS things, pet names, aIcohol mentions, swearing.
Word count. 8.6k (whoopsies)
A/N. Hope yâall have a lovely week hehe <3
âDamnâŠâ you sigh at the glaringly empty drawer, rubbing your eyes as if that would make a difference - maybe even magically materialize a fresh pair of panties in front of you. âItâs the second time this month.â
Or was it the third?
But, alas, standing around in your bedroom on a Sunday night does not give you the answers. Or any extra underwear.
Which is why you find yourself making a beeline for the bathroom - teeth gritted, stomach flipping at how very, very exposed you felt underneath the thin fabric of your shorts. Cursing everything from the buildingâs rundown old washing machine to Gojoâs stupid smile when he took away your laundry basket.
You couldâve sworn you saw your last pair perched right on top of your pile of old clothes, all flimsy and an obscene red that stood out amongst everything else.Â
Seriously, how hard would it have been to lose that thing? Maybe you could bother him into buying a new washing machine for-
âWoah there-â Before you know it, youâre crashing face-first into a wall? Pillows? Gojo - unfairly shirtless. âNow, whatâs got your panties in a twist, sweetheart?â
The lack thereof.Â
Maybe because you canât say that, maybe because of what looks - feels - like miles upon miles of milky, sculpted skin, youâre instead settling for an extremely eloquent, âNothing I uh-â But whatever excuse catches in your chest as you raise your face - still smushed between two large pecs - up, up, up and-
Oh.Â
Itâs not like youâre seeing something new - far from it, actually, unfortunately for your poor heart.
And at first, youâd thought it was some strange habit - hell, maybe the guy just didnât like t-shirts. But it was around the fourth or fifth time heâd forgone one that you realized Gojo Satoru was just a tease. A no-good, insufferably smug tease that just loved to catch you ogling him.Â
But, well, at least the rent was cheap.
Though, you werenât exactly complaining about the view eitherâŠ
Because lo and behold stood the infamous campus sweetheart - you knew about fourteen people whoâd kill to see this exact sight. Gojoâs cloudy hair tousled, tiny droplets of water twinkling like diamonds against the bathroom light. Bouncing off his rippling abs, his strong arms circling your waist to stop you from falling backwards. Holding you too fucking close against the white towel slung low on his hips. His skin damp, smelling so delicious-
âGojo, did you use my body lotion?âÂ
âAwwwââ he whines, finally releasing his grip on you. âYou were supposed to admire me some more.â
You scoff, eyes darting over broad shoulders - partially to search for your laundry basket, partially because you really couldnât handle looking right at a shirtless Gojo Satoru any longer. âAs if. Get out if youâre done.â
âDamn, woman. Feisty.â Gojo lets out a deep chuckle - smooth and cocky - when youâre hastily shoving him away from the doorframe. âIf you wanted to put your hands on me that bad then you jusâ hafta ask, yâknow~â
It was way too late for this.Â
âHilarious.â you deadpan, though you let go of where you were gripping Gojoâs arm like it burned. Immediately stepping behind the bathroom door before he could make you lose whateverâs left of your sanity, âNext time you hog the bathroom mâgonna smash those ugly new sunglasses of yours.â
Heâs pressing his foot between that gap in the door to stop you from closing it, âOi, donât think I donât see that glint in your eyes, sweetheart.â Yeah, the glint in your eyes that told you if looks could kill then Gojo would be six feet under already. Which only makes him grin wider, âYouâre telling me you really werenât checkinâ out the most sought-after man on campus jusâ now?â
Huffing in frustration, you cross your arms, âI donât see Geto Suguru anywhere.â
â...you take that back right now. Iâm the pretty best friend.â
âAm not.â
âAm too.â
âAm not. Isnât that why youâre still single?â
âTh-thatâs not- fuckinâ Suguru? Really? Most people would kill for a look of this-â Gojo gestures at his bare torso, and once more youâre reminded that those absolutely awful protein shakes he makes every morning arenât just for show. â-and youâre getting it daily.â
You reach out a hand, Gojo chest hot underneath your touch. He seizes up instantly, ears tinging red as you muse, âYeah.â Only to push him fully out the doorway, âI just wish youâd shut up daily, too.â
With that, youâre shutting the door with a resounding slam! Feeling only slightly guilty until you hear Gojoâs squawks of protest from outside, âI really donât know whatâs got your panties in a twist.â
Right. Panties.
Something just a tad more important than recounting exactly how many abs Gojo Satoru had.
You let out a shuddering breath, clamoring to find that spare laundry basket youâd forgotten in here earlier today. Shuffling through through the soft clothes, hoping, praying to find-
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.Â
Fuck.Â
Somehow, youâre hiding away your body lotion that night.
---
âNow, listen here, sweetheart. I know you look fuckinâ gorgeous in everything but-â
âSatoru.â
âBut that-â he whirls around, pointing a long finger accusingly at the boxers youâd improvised into sleep shorts. Spitting venomously, â-that I cannot allow.â
Youâre rolling your eyes at your roommateâs theatrics, forking through your pancakes while he monologues to himself more than you. âWhy does it even matter? It was just for yesterday.â you mutter. âI didnât have any clean uh- panties for the night nâ this worked.â
Thankfully, since the fresh laundry this morning, youâd found two more of your panties - courtesy of a very smug Gojo handing off your clothes. Ah, it felt like the universe itself was smiling down on you.
But oh if you thought the great Gojo Satoru was having a breakdown before then you werenât prepared for when you lifted your gaze off the kitchen table. Only to meet his - eyes wide, a pretty pink blush coloring his cheeks, lips gawking and stuttering around what looked like a silent, âP-panties-â
You raise a brow, âWhatâs got you this worked up, Gojo?â
âNothing.â he clears his throat, âAbsolutely nothing at all. Panties? I love- er, wait no-â
âB-besides-â you bristle at the way his heavy gaze was now turning to flit between your face and down below. Dangerously. âTheyâre not even yours so I donât know why it matters.â
This seems to snap him out of his little reverie, and heâs immediately standing up straighter, brows furrowing. He continues, in a much more serious tone than before, âTheyâre his?âÂ
You stab your breakfast with a bit too much vitriol than necessary, looking at Gojo with narrowed eyes, âIf you mean the one my ex left behind then yes. Who else?â
Your ex wasnât good for much - and Gojo seemed especially hostile towards him because of his distaste for your little living situation. But, hey, at least the guy was helping you out at this time. Albeit unknowingly.Â
Heâs raising his hands in mock-surrender, shuffling back into the kitchen to work on the rest of those âworld famousâ Gojo pancakes. âNothing nothing.â he hums, and maybe it was how sleep-deprived you were - running on a few too many assignments due today and a few too little panties - but you think Gojoâs voice has a bit more bite to it than usual. Jaw clenching as he plows on, âOf course that fucker- in my- our apartment, too. Fuck-â
A spatula is suddenly mere inches from your face, Gojo brandishing it in front of you like a weapon as he declares, âWeâre going panty-shopping after Yagaâs lecture today.â
âGojo, I-â
âWe-â he cuts you off, delicately placing another pancake on your plate - a little truce. So close now that it reminds you of last night - you could feel his minty breath on your face, count every long, sultry eyelash of his. â-are going panty-shopping after Yagaâs lecture nâ Iâm paying. Thatâs final.â
And of course, in true Gojo fashion, you can barely get a word out before heâd immediately ducking out of the kitchen. You almost let your lips curl into a smile, hit with a sudden wave of endearment as you hear Gojoâs long legs padding urgently down the hallway to God-knows-where. Maybe he did know when to be-
Smack!
You jolt as youâre hit with a pair of boxers - fresh ones, thankfully, that you recognized from all the clothes youâd rummaged through last night - plopped unceremoniously onto your lap. Jaw dropping in disbelief when you look up to meet Gojoâs devilish grin.Â
âNext time-â he winks, motioning at the fabric you were poking in concern now. â-wear mine.â
The talk of Yagaâs lecture hall that morning was of a pair of burned boxers found right outside your building, everyone speculating what the poor guy had done to have his presumed girlfriend make an example of it like that.Â
For you, however, the only thing running through your mind was whether or not you could count properly.
Because surely you remembered it correctly when you counted two new underwear this morning - that gauzy black one and the deep red? Two. Definitely not the singular, sad piece of red fabric laying on your bed after breakfast today? Two. The only one you could find even after scouring through your whole bedroom.Â
So where the fuck had that other one gone?
---
(8+ new messages)
Do not answer (roomie)đ§żđ§ż: Hurry up ive been lurking inside that lingerie shop ya told me you liked nâ now the old ladies here look like they wanna eat me alive (Âș ⥠Âș l|l)/
im boooored, gonna stand still nâ start blending in with these mannequins if you dont hurry up istg
Hurry
HURRY
HURRY THEY THINK IM SUSPICIOUS
PLEASE THEYRE GONNA ESCORT ME OUT
âŹâŽâŹâŽâ€ïœ„Ï)ïŸ i literally SEE YOU outsideÂ
BITCH STOP LAUGHING-
No sooner are you letting out a cackle at Gojoâs rapid-fire texts, youâre looking up to see the man himself being walked outside by two security guards. Squabbling heatedly in a way that had them heaving out long sighs - which, honestly, you felt a stab of relatable empathy for.
â-I swear Iâm not a creep Iâm jusâ-â Gojoâs bickering dies on his tongue as he catches the sight of you walking closer to the commotion. Closer. Taking your sweet sweet time, eyes just barely glazing over him before- youâre walking away. âHey!â he calls out, stopping you in your tracks. âNow, donât you dare-â Before turning back to his wary escorts, âIâm with her.â
They exchange a look between each other, and no matter how much youâd like to pretend the scene had absolutely nothing to do with you - youâd rather Gojo doesnât get banned from the mall altogether.Â
âHeâs right.â you drone out, one hand grabbing Gojoâs, the other forcing his head into an apologetic bow. Hissing to the side so that only he would hear, âUnfortunately.â
The two security guards now seem more amused than anything at your strange dynamic. One of them raises a brow, muttering, âWellâŠthis oneâs certainly a handful.â Turning around to head back to their stations, âYa better keep a tight leash on your boyfriend.â
You sputter, eyes wide, âOh- heâs not-â
But itâs too late - theyâre both swiftly out of earshot, most likely more than happy to hand over the public nuisance off to you. And Gojoâs looking to you with a smug smirk, voice dropping about an octave deeper as he breathes against your ear, âSo, gonna take your boyfriend to help out with lingerie shopping, sweetheart?â
Oh. God.Â
This was going to be one long day.
âIâm only here because another one of mine disappeared, yâknow.â you hiss, rifling through all the options before you. âWhich really has me wondering why-â
âH-hey! How about this one?â Gojo interrupts, shoving a lacy set right in front of your face, his voice just a bit louder than what was appropriate.Â
You sigh, catching the eyes of a few disapproving older women around you. âNo this is-â But running a thumb over the fabric makes you bite back an insult. And for all how brash Gojo was, maybe his panty selection wasnât awful. It was a flimsy little thing, gauzy and light blue - the type youâd typically wear on a night out. You meet his boyish grin, admitting, â...not bad.â
âSee?â he laughs - eyes glinting with delight as he piles on a few more in your basket. âNâ if youâre impressed with that then youâre gonna be proposing to me when you realize itâs exactly your size-â
You quirk a brow, âHow do you know my size, Gojo?â
And this makes his body stiffen, large shoulders squaring up, throat bobbing as he answers,âUh? Experience?â
Oh, right. Youâre rolling your eyes, fighting off a weird little stab of irritation. This probably isnât the first time heâs come here with a girl, anyway.Â
And yet, despite however much of an alleged âcatchâ Gojo was, heâd - perhaps mercifully - never brought anyone over. You donât know why, but you didnât really want to question it.
âA-anyway.â Gojoâs airy voice cuts through your thoughts. And heâs plucking up a few more sets of lingerie for you to sort through, âCanât let these one, two, three- six lovely lilâ things go to waste now, can we?â At your look of confusion, he chuckles, guiding the two of you to the counter now. âSuguruâs holding a party at his place tonight, how would you like to do the honors of being my cute plus one?â
âIâd rather go with Yaga.â
Though, you really canât say no - not when Gojoâs flashing you that black card as he pays for everything in an instant. Not when all he can prattle about on the way home is how gorgeous youâd look together at Getoâs party - how youâll have to beat everyone off of him with a stick (to which you reply that youâd no sooner do that than beat him with a stick.)
Not when he sits outside your bedroom door as you get ready later that night. Insisting on keeping you company even as you slip out of your towel. Looking over your shoulder to make sure he wasnât peeking in before eagerly turning to grab at one of your new set of silky white panties- only, they werenât there.
Strange.Â
âHey, GojoâŠâ you call out, looking underneath your blankets for where you mightâve thrown them about after trying them on. Under your bed, in your drawers, anywhere. â-didnât we buy six sets?â
âHuh? Dunno, I didnât count. Just wear the blue one.â he whines, ushering you to hurry up from outside. Face burning because shit, this was you and you were inside - still wrapped up in only that sinful little towel. Oh, would the painful death really be worth it if he happened to accidentally look around? âSâpretty and yâknow what else?â
Your voice was muffled as you hastily put on your clothes, âWhat?â
âIt matches my eyes.â
Really strange.
---
Thankfully for Gojo, you didnât go with Yaga to the party - nor did you find your lost pair of panties, sadly, but that wasnât too much of a concern for him.Â
And here he was - one hurried Uber ride and about several billion death threats from you later. Wishing that youâd actually just acted on one of them because fuck at least then he wouldnât have to be watching from across the room as some bastard from the university basketball team tried to chat you up.
Gojo canât even hear the way the girls surrounding him were giggling about something or the other, alcohol making his tongue a little heavier, eyes a bit glassier.Â
Nothing like the way that other man was drinking in that polite smile on your face. Tilting your head to face forwards and- God, why wonât you just look at him instead?
Would that guy still look at you that way if he knew you were wearing lingerie matching his eyes right now?
âNot gonna entertain your fans?â Getoâs voice rings through his whirlwind thoughts, eyeing down the forgotten crowd in amusement.
âWhen have I ever?â Gojo runs a hand through his hair in frustration.Â
He lets out a knowing laugh, âYeah, you little vir-â Turning into a coughing fit when Gojo elbows his best friend straight in his stomach. âAnyways.â Geto gestures with his drink in your direction, as if Gojo hadnât seen - as if it wasnât the only thing on his mind right now. âWell, your lilâ roomie there seems to be popular, too, huh? Star player of the basketball team nâ all.Â
He clicks his tongue, slumping further against the thumping wall. âSo? Iâm taller, and more handsome.â
âAre you sure âbout that?â
âY-yeah?â he sputters.Â
âWell then why arenât you over there with her?â Geto hums, lips curling. âLooks tâme like even she doesnât like him that much so whyâre you being a pussy over here? Always sneaking around stealing her-âÂ
âShut up-â And Gojo knows heâs riling him up, he knows that Geto wants to see a little drama - maybe finally shut up his pining over the one girl heâs wanted for the past year - and couldnât have. Itâs a trap. But Gojo canât stop his head from snapping between you and his best friendâs sly smirk. Slurring indignantly, âOf course Iâm fuckinâ handsome, nâ taller. Iâd make a better boyfriend too and-â He trails off at the sight of that loser leaning in - but more importantly that tiny furrow in your brows, your hands on his chest softly keeping him at bay. â-and mâgonna go over there nâ prove it.â
âAh, that loserâs gonna thank me later.â
And, hell, Gojo could barely even walk. Barely even think straight as heâs parting the stuffy living room, ignoring whatever whispers and titters were following him.Â
âI said no-â
âHey, sweetheart.â you jump when someone - Gojo - creeps up from behind you. Large build hanging off your own when he nuzzles his face into your neck. And you could feel his toothy grin on your skin, âMissed me?â
Your face burns, âI uh-â Angling your face as dignifiedly as possible to face your roommate, âGojo, are you drunk?â
âDrunk on you, yes.â
âWhat the-â
The man in front of you pipes up - shuffling uncomfortably on his feet. âDidnât realize you were taken. My bad.â Looking like heâd rather be anywhere but under the scrutiny of Gojo Satoru. His big arms tightening around your middle - when did they even get there? âIâll just uh- get out of your way, man.â
âMhm, by the way,â Gojo puffs up his chest a bit, clearly towering over the other man - ha, take that Suguru. âNice loss against Kyoto last week, real knee-jerker.âÂ
You smack Gojoâs chest at his rudeness, to which he only smiles wider. Watching the other man being swiftly handled away by another apologetic member of the basketball team.
âGojo.â
And before you can react, Gojoâs dragging his pretty plump lips along where that light blue band of your bra was just peeking out, murmuring lowly, âLove it when you scold me like that.â Still refusing to let go of you despite the jealous looks thrown your way, âLetâs go home, my girl.â
Oh, the look on your face was priceless.Â
He just wished he could fish out his phone and record, or maybe even tell Geto to take a picture - help him make it his wallpaper. And he did - over fifteen times, in fact, as the two of you helped drag him away from the thrumming party. Geto doesnât listen, of course, and you neither do you - grumbling out a slew of profanities underneath your breath that makes the Uber driver look at the two of you weird.
And yet, Gojoâs biggest issue right now was trying to climb up these fucking stairs - not when they were trying to run away from him.Â
âI swear to God, Gojo-â you huff, chest heaving under the weight of walking - well, more like dragging - your roommate up to your apartment. Knees wobbly - maybe at the intensity of his cologne, maybe at the way his biceps were flexing on your shoulders, probably at how fucking useless he was. Damn lightweight. âYou better cover my rent for the next year for this.â
âOf course I will~â his hot breath tickles your ear, âAnything for mâgirl. Iâll take care of us forever, don't you worry your pretty lilâ head.â
You roll your eyes, but you canât deny the way your heart clenches - just a little bit. And if youâre slamming open Gojoâs bedroom door with a little more force than necessary, well, at least heâs a bit too impaired to nag at you about it.
He bounces lightly when you throw him on his plush mattress, giggling softly, âYou should just join me, yâknow. Have a little sleepover.â
âDrop dead.â you monotone, not even daring to look back at him while you shuffle through Gojoâs shirts. Throwing one over your shoulder at him, âNâ wear this, I just know youâll complain about messing up your favorite button-up tomorrow morning.â
âAww, you always take care of me so well, my girl~â
That familiar little nickname makes a shiver run down your spine, and itâs all you can do to concentrate on shuffling through Gojoâs drawers in search of his shorts. Absent-mindedly reaching for the lowest drawer and-
âWait!âÂ
You jump, whirling around to catch Gojo sitting up ram-rod straight on the bed, eyes wide, hand reaching out as if to stop you. Swallowing thickly, you ask. âGojo?â
And he jolts - like the very sound of your voice is sending electricity zapping through his veins. Abruptly scrambling off the bed before resting two hands on your shoulders, gently guiding you away from the drawer. âMy shorts are uh- in my wardrobe, heh. Sorry about that.â
Furrowing your brows at the sudden twist, you squirm in his grasp to look at the drawer again. Failing - when Gojo keeps his grip steadfast, âWhyâre you acting so-âÂ
âHow about we order take out? My treat?â
And that night, tucking yourself into bed, you should be falling asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. You should be caring less about that strange little outburst of Gojoâs inside his room. You should have realized sooner - those light blue panties youâd worn tonight were gone. No longer in your hamper of old clothes.
And there was only one thing to do.Â
---
Gojo thinks he shouldnât - fuck he knows he shouldnât. He doesnât even want to- well, that last bit was a lie.
Gojo Satoru first met you about a year ago, when youâd come knocking at his door asking about his ad for a roommate. It was more because he was bored inside this big apartment by himself than anything, really, but here you were all gorgeous and sweet, flashing him a smile that was burned into his mind for the rest of the week, at the very minimum. How could he ever say no?
And when youâd taken to walking around the apartment in those slutty lilâ shorts as a way to get back at his perpetual shirtless-ness? Thin panties just peeping out of the low hem?Â
God, it was everything he could do to not run to the bathroom with each little glimpse. He was fucked, so very embarrassingly fucked.Â
He just never thought it would get to this point - the first time had been an accident, honestly. When your laundry had gotten mixed up with his. Surely he didnât remember having such a cute pair of pink panties in his closet? And surely it didnât mean anything if he just-so-happened to stash them away, right?
At least, thatâs what Gojo told himself the first time. And the second. And the third. And shit, it was a bit of an addiction now, and within a year of rooming with you, heâd accumulated a drawer stuffed guiltily with exactly what he shouldnât be having.Â
Gojo Satoru - insufferable campus sweetheart, the dreamy first place on everyoneâs To-Fuck list - had been hoarding away your pretty panties. Like the pathetic virgin he pretends he isnât.Â
And so here he was - that dirty little drawer flung open, pants pulled down just enough, one hand flat on the flat surface to steady himself, while the other fisted desperately around his swollen cock - and one of your panties.Â
âF-fuck, sweetheart.â heâs hissing, body shuddering in lewd little tremors at that torturous drag of fabric down his length. Squeezing at his thick base, moving fast - filthy up, up, up to thumb along the end of his sopping slit. âFeels sâgood- too fucking good hngh-â
Such a pretty, wet gasp escapes him when your soaked, absolutely ruined underwear catches on his veins, tangling around his sensitive shaft. And heâs biting his lip, trying not to make a noise when he threads through the mess down below.Â
âOh fuck, yer killinâ me even when youâre ngh- not here.â he breathes unsteadily, weaving the sticky fabric around his long fingers. Tight - just how he knew you would. âSâlike you know what you do tâme with these.â
They were your blue ones, this time - the ones from just last night. The ones you were wearing not even a full day ago. And Gojo has them wrapped daintily around his rock-hard cock, stark against the blushing red at his fat head. Already so drenched in precum as he fucks his fist.Â
âYâlooked so p-pretty with these, sweetheart.â he groans over the wet fwip! fwip! fwip! Eyes rolling to the back of his head with each long, feverish stroke. âSo pretty being mine. Ngh- so pretty in my- fuck.âÂ
Slam!
Heâs hitting his palm facedown on the wood, knees buckling, eyes scrunching shut with pleasure.Â
And that ruined, utterly depraved part of Gojo wonders whether next time he should steal your bras too? Have the full set of you proudly wearing his color like some secret little slut for him.Â
Heâs letting out a ragged little laugh, oh how cute youâd look all confused. Nipples hard through your flimsy excuse of a t-shirt while you looked around for them. While you asked him for help.Â
Oh, just the thought of that has Gojoâs red, furious cock beading glossy drops of precum at his tip. Leaking a sinful, slippery sheen down his wrist. âAh.â he lets out a guttural groan when his angry dick twitches in his hand, falling onto his elbow on the drawer. Not having the strength - or the sanity - to keep himself up anymore. âLook what youâve-â Gojoâs eyes catch sight of a flash of red inside, sounding so wrecked. âLook what youâve done.â
And those obscene red panties are snatched up by his free hand in a second, not even a second wasted before Gojoâs bringing them up to his face.Â
Fuck.Â
âLook what youâve done. Look how ngh- filthy youâve made me.â he whines, muffled. Hips fucking up in quick, uncontrollable little thrusts into his closed fist. Voice a pitch higher as he spits out embarrassing little accusations, âHow pathetic. Gettinâ fuck- gettinâ off to this? Me of all hah- people like this? Canât imagine how f-fucking mad youâd be.â Â
Would you figure out it was him? Would you look in his drawer again? Teach him a lesson or two about being such a pathetic little pervert for his roommate.Â
Maybe - just maybe - if Gojo plays his cards right, gets on his knees and begs for mercy, then youâd let him keep his little treasure.Â
He throws his head back in a humorless little laugh when his aching hand slows down to languid, unforgivable tugs. He had time, anyway, your classes ended late today. Torturous - exactly the way he imagines youâd drive him mad. âHeh- wish this was you.â
Youâd be so much meaner, pressing down on that little divot at his tip, flicking teasingly like you were trying to fuck out something delicious. Youâd be running your nails down his achy veins, running your soft palms around his painful balls.Â
Youâd whisper, âThis all you got, Toru?â
âOh fuck!â Gojo moans, raspy little sounds of what sounds like your name filtering through the crevices of his fingers, your panties. âFuck fuck fuck- gonna cum.â he whines. Heavy balls smacking back into his thighs with each thrust into your imaginary hand. How he wished you were here. Heâs managing to wrench his eyes open to spy down at his sloppy cock - needing to see how your cute lilâ panties would look painted all white for him. How he wished you- âGonna-â
Oh. Fuck.Â
You.Â
âAw, why stop now, Gojo?â
Youâre leaning against Gojoâs open bedroom door, flashing him such a sultry little smirk. Your voice almost a purr when you echo, âI saidâŠâ Before taking two long steps to where he stood frozen, âWhy stop now?â
Gojo lets the damp fabric held up to his face drop in guilt - yet the other stays firmly wrapped around that hand cock of his still in hand.Â
âS-sweetheart what are you- why-â And perhaps for the first time in the twenty-something years that Gojo Satoru has terrorized this planet, heâs speechless. Worry-bitten lips sagging open stupidly, âI- this is-â
You cut him off, âSo youâre the panty thief.â So close now that Gojoâs dick was throbbing at each heave of your chest, the way you were squeezing your thighs together. Eyes sliding down his body to rest at the mangled mess of your all-new panties around his painfully hard cock. âI knew it.â
âI can explain-â
âAll those times pretending to help me?â you bat your lashes in a way that makes him gulp. Words dripping with the same tease heâd imagined in daydreams just like this. âWhen you were the pervert stealing my panties? Are you even ashamed?â
Gojo flushes an innocent pink, excuses tumbling out of those pretty lips immediately. But they sound like lies even to him.
âThis- ngh-â heâs rolling his hips forward when you slide a smaller finger down his arm, between his pecs, almost the way down to those tufts of white. âFuuuck- y-youâre not mad? Are ya the devil herself cuz youâre gonna- ngh- kill me this way.â
Humming, âClass was canceled, but of course - donât hah- stop on my account, Gojo.â
âToru.â heâs gasping out, a low moan wrenching out of him when heâs bowing his body into his fist again. Squeezing - almost warningly - at his hilt. âC-call me Toru. Please.â
And fuck he couldâve cum right then and there at that devilish little smile you give him, biting down on your lower lip - inches from his that it felt like you were biting down on his. Maybe you were, shit Gojo didnât even know right now.Â
âToru.â
Thatâs all it takes for Gojoâs lips to be crashing onto yours. Biting back a little whimper at the messy clash of teeth, of spit, because one taste of your candied lips and he was already so addicted.Â
âMmpf-â Gojo gasps, chasing hotly after your lips. Eyes half-lidded to watch the snapping of those delicate strings of saliva, âYouâre- youâre so-â And heâs way too impatient to get out his words, licking heatedly at the slit of your mouth. Over and over and over-Â âAs bad as me- ngh-â
âAre ya sure about that?â you grin, cunt clenching at your roommateâs pained grunt when you pull away. âBecause look-â
And the both of you are stuck on the way Gojoâs moving again, hips fucking up in jagged, mindless little grinds. Like he doesnât even realize heâs doing it. Like he didnât even feel the way his leaky tip was smearing along the front of your sinfully short skirt.Â
âCanât help it.â he whines, kissing down your neck. Hips urging forwards to slip up the thigh-length fabric, and when you donât pull away, Gojo drags your skirt up, up, up with his pulsing length, âYou donât know what you do to me- fuck.â
His jaw falls slack, ogling at the sight of your pretty pussy on full display for him. Already so glossy with your sweet sweet juices, needy between your restless thighs. Bare.Â
And this might be the first time heâs seen a cunt in real life but Gojo already knows - he already feels - that sheâs gonna be the death of him.Â
Sharp teeth nip at your bottom lip, tugging. âWhat the fuck-â Gojo breathes - more to himself than anything. âWhat the fuck what the-â Bringing down his free hand to run the pads of his long fingers along your puffy folds, as if to confirm whether this was real. â-fuck! Going out like this? Youâre even dirtier than me, huh?.âÂ
âWhat can I do?â Sliding your arms around his broad shoulders, palms running along the heated skin. Back arching to grind down on his hand, âSomeone stole all my panties.â
Your words fall on deaf ears, because Gojo doesnât hesitate for even a second before heâs bringing his dripping wet fingers up to his lips. Smoldering eyes looking right into yours when he pops them in his mouth. Sucking them dry.Â
âOh fuck, sweetheart.â
In a split second, youâre being splayed out on Gojoâs king-sized bed like such a slut. Bouncing at the sheer force of the throw. And it happens so fast that you almost think youâre seeing things - but, no, the way youâre bouncing against the silky sheets was real. Your skirt bunching up at your waist was real.Â
Gojoâs hazy gaze getting stuck right at the spot between your legs was real.Â
âShiiiit.â he murmurs, low and gravelly, like heâs moving through molasses. Stalking towards your trembling figure as if hypnotized, âOh, she looks even prettier this way.â
You shuffle in embarrassment, pressing your thighs together, âToru-â
But he doesnât hear you, instantly scrambling onto the bed. âNo- no no no no no-â Just wrenching your legs apart with his hands. âNo, you donât get to hide th-this from me, you donâ know how long Iâve waited for this. How much Iâve imagined-â
Youâre gasping when he runs the tip of his index between your sopping wet slit, coating his fingers in your juices once more. Teasing. âNâ so wet. This all fâme? God, canât even- ngh-â
âSo eager.â you mumble, fingers threading through Gojoâs soft locks to pull him in so close. To drag him towards where you needed him the most. âWhy donât you jusâ shut up- Nâ put that big mouth of yours into use somewhere else?â
His eyes widen, words a whisper, âC-can I?â He doesnât wait for your response before flipping the two of you so easily. Having you toppling precariously on his lap now, âCan I really? Never done this before.â
Never?
Itâs not before he lets out a shy huff, that you realize that you said that out loud. âSo what? Sâthat bad?â Two large hands groping and kneading your ass to keep you in place, âYa didnât actually ngh- believe all those stories on campus, did ya?â
Squirming at the feeling of his massive girth rubbing up against your swollen folds, âD-doesnât matter.â You grit out, âYou canâŠâ
And no sooner are you seeing Gojoâs megawatt smile, youâre already feeling it between your thighs. Being wrestled up like some glorified ragdoll, dragging your sloppy cunt all the way up to straddle Gojoâs pretty face.Â
âSo, this is what she ngh- looks like.â he whines, hot breath lapping at your quivering pussy. âShit, sheâs so wet I could almost-â Youâre gasping when the man below you simply sticks his awaiting tongue out, admiring your pussy while letting your syrupy sweet slick drip! drip! drip! down his throat. âThis all fâme?âÂ
The only thing you can give him right now is a needy little whine - which makes Gojo kiss the fat of your ass with a sharp smack! Biting his lip at the way it jiggles against his hand, âTell me, where did my feisty girl go?â
That lewd little nickname has you scoffing in pathetic frustration, your grip searing on his scalp when you force his obscene mouth closer. âY-you seriously need to-â Pulling, â-shut up, Toru.â
And oh, youâd played right into Gojoâs devilish hands. This was exactly what he wanted - to have his face stuffed between your limp legs, ready mouth meshing messily with the folds of your dripping cunt. âThere she is.â he moans, the tip of his tongue slurping up the sloppy dredges of your slick. Carding between your pussy lips, âOh- fuck there she is. Yeah use me like that- use me.â
Heâs running his mouth a mile a minute and you wonder how. Because Gojo was lapping at your cunt so feverishly, everywhere - from your inner thighs, to your folds, to just around the circles of your sloppy entrance like he wanted to taste it all. And couldnât decide where to go first.Â
âT-Toru.â you let out a honey sweet mewl of his name when the tip of his nose is rubbing against your clit. âThere. Right there-â
Eyes rolling to the back of his head when he easily locates your sensitive nub. Wrapping those ruby lips around your clit to give an experimental suck.Â
Shit, he could almost pass out from how heavenly you look on top guiding him. Your entire body jolting with each roll of his hot tongue, giving him such a pretty view of your tits up your silky shirt. Just dragging your sloppy cunt all into his mouth when he toys with your pulsing clit.Â
âOh fuck!â your hips are darting away with each zap of electricity sent down your spine.Â
Which, for Gojo - whoâs only ever dared to dream up this moment on those lonely nights - isnât enough.Â
âKnow mânew to this, sweetheart, but stop beinâ nice nâ fuckin-â Heâs pulling on the crease of your waist, dragging you to rest your entire weight on his face - his mouth. â-sit.â Youâre keening when Gojo forces you to collapse on his soft tongue, bullying past your puffy folds and into that sloppy ring of muscle. Jusâ barely dipping past the resistance, âI said use me so fuckinâ use me. Donâ care if I canât breathe - if I fucking suffocate- ngh- mâgonna die if you donât just sit.â
âFine.â You cry out when the curve of his tongue is molding into your gummy walls, pushing recklessly past. Not even fucking easing you into it before heâs fucking you on his tongue. Calculated, mean little thrusts in search of all your sweet spots. âNo half-assing then, mâkay?â
Though, you had the feeling that he would do anything but.Â
âGood, now keep still.â heâs scolding, one hand starting up again in those slow, satisfied tugs on his length. âPlease keep still.â And the other dancing between your legs to push a finger inside your snug cunt. âMmm itâs a tight fit, can feel ya clenching around me. Ngh- always wondered how itâd feel- where that would be.â
Blinking away the haze in your eyes, you look down at where Gojo was already locked on you, âTh-that?â
âThat.â he breathes into your cunt, voice reverent as he speeds up. âSâyour pussy gonna tell me where your good spot is? Gonna help me ngh- learn?â
And to your embarrassment - and Gojoâs smug satisfaction, it only takes a few more hurried strokes of his tongue before heâs nudging against your g-spot. Both the texture of his tongue and his long, cold fingers curling to assault the poor bundle of nerves.Â
Your body bows deeper as if on auto-pilot, âOh- fuck! You fucking- hnghâ
Heâs snickering at the way youâre so responsive, cock hard - and only swelling girthier in his fist with each adorable moan falling from your lips.Â
âOh yeah? There? Ya like this?â he moans, âYa like shutting up the ngh- p-pervert that steals your panties with your cunt?âÂ
Getting faster. More attuned to his feral need.Â
Lips smacking in tempo with those obscene squelches, you canât tear your eyes away from the way his cheeks hollow. Fingers still so rapid, moving to make out and toy so messily with you clit - untimed, sloppy but fuck did you love it.Â
âY-yes.â youâre shoving his mouth guiltlessly deeper. Letting his long tongue explore every crevice and inch of you. Sloppier. So, so filthy. âLove it- fuck- youâre such a fast fucking learner.â
âI know.â
There was that cocky Gojo Satoru you were used to, lips curling into a strawberry pink smile around your clit - all glossy and sweet with a sheen of your slick. Making such a mess of the lower half of his face, his chin, shit, all the way down to his jaw.Â
âMâclose-â you choke out at the sight, âMâso fuckinâ close- gonna- gonna cum on your tongue, Toru.â
âLook at you ruining me.â his words hit you hard on your sensitive cunt, sending shockwaves up your arched spine. Obscene little smacks of his lips following your barely-lucid mewls.âAbsolutely defiling me. Are ya proud of nghhh fuck- yourself?â
Itâs all you can do to manage out a strained, âYes! Yes yes yes yes- God, mâso close, Toru/ Gonna cum mâgonna-â
You donât even realize it when youâre cumming at first, just that youâre riding Gojoâs unfairly pretty face in harsh grinds - just the way he liked it. Jaw grinding against your cunt, chin hitting you with each slutty jerk of your hips, letting you use him all you want to ride through your high.Â
And his fingers are digging into your hips, stopping you from pulling away even when you were snow. Even when youâre sobbing in oversensitivity. So painfully good.Â
âNgh- T-Toruââ youâre slurring out, his name thick on your tongue. âMânot gonna cum on your dick if you k-keep hah- acting this way.â
Only then does a pussydrunk Gojo Satoru raise his bleary eyes back up at you. Giving you a strained little grunt of acceptance, before parting ways with your pussy with a lingering, wet kiss on your clit. Barely-audible as he whispers, âGonna see ya soon.â
You donât have the time to think about his newfound addiction. Because in all of three seconds, heâs plopping you back down so prettily on his lap. Purposefully feeding your sopping wet slit his weeping red tip.Â
âPlease.â Gojoâs usually-arrogant grin has fallen into such a pretty pout with one graze of his length sandwiched between your folds. âI did good, right? Please ngh- so I th-think if I made you cum then I get to hah- fuck you how I want.â
And itâs not that you didnât appreciate it before - but looking at his thick tip pushing up against your cunt right now has you recognizing that shit, Gojo is massive.Â
Fat head blushing a pretty reddish, leaking so messily down, down, down those glistening veins at his side and to the creamy ring at his base - from when heâd cum, just from eating you out, you realize with a jolt. His girth so intimidatingly thick, long enough that you know you wonât be walking for a week straight, at least. All throbbing and angry with every second he isnât buried to the hilt inside your cunt.Â
Gojo Satoru is massive.Â
âLike what ya see?â he echoes your thoughts, a soaked thumb coming down to pry apart your glossy folds. Grinning at the way your hole was already so needy and clenching around nothing. âThink mâthe ngh- perfect size for this pretty pussy?â
Through it all, you find it in yourself to muse, âOnly one way to find out. Gonna let me be your first, Toru?â
And then heâs pushing in, shallow, high little gasps bursting from his lips with each inch being bullied into your plush cunt.Â
âO-oh fuck-â Gojo canât stop himself from taking a good look at the way your pussy lips are bulging around him. Jaw dropping at the way your greedy entrance is only sucking him up more and more - trying to bite off more than you can chew with the way he was in so deep but barely even halfway in yet. âSâtoo good- oh my god- fuck I think mâgonna die. Is it sâpposed to feel th-this good?â
Youâre running a hand gingerly through Gojoâs mussed-up hair, smoothing down the sides sticking up where youâd been pulling on it. âSâalright, Toru.â you soothe, letting him grind up into you. Trying to fit more - all of it. âYouâve got it- youâve hah-â
You let out a pathetic little whine when his tip kisses your cervix, legs flexing around his toned waist.Â
âOh- ohhh fuck-â heâs barely able to string together coherent sentences now. Eyes falling till their half-lidded, body moving before his mind when he pulls yours stuck to his. âS-soo good nâ I havenât even- oh!â His voice goes a few octaves higher when Gojo finally starts moving. âHow can- it feel this good, hng-â
And shit for being inexperienced, he was fucking up into you so mean. Just in short little thrusts up like he was trying to fuck you even deeper - trying to squeeze inside more of himself impossibly.Â
âSome- ah- some more, Toru-âÂ
He listens, and the stretch - fuck. Gojo wasnât even trying yet, but his girth was already massaging your gummy walls so dizzyingly good.Â
âY-youâre so- ngh-â you graze your lips across his in what can barely be called a kiss. Too messy. Too depraved. â-so deep.â Sliding a hand about midway down your stomach to press down, âCan feel you all the way in here.â
Your words are sticking to Gojo like a second skin, driving him so fucking mad. Hips smacking up into you deep until his heavy balls were slapping your ass, sculpted pelvis crashing into yours.
âStop talking.â he spits, âStop talking stop talking stop- talking.â Each word is punctuated by a desperate, messy stroke. Pushing you further and further up Gojoâs body from the obscene impact. âStop hah- talking or mâgonna cum.â
He wasnât lying - you could already feel the twitch of Gojoâ length rubbing up against your hidden sweet spots. The furious throbbing of his veins stretching out your elastic walls.Â
And yet youâre still wailing stubbornly, âB-but Toru it feels so good.â Partially truth, partially because when the fuck do you get to see him so utterly wrecked like this. Sanity dancing away from him with each syrupy moan leaving your mouth, âYour cock is too good- ngh- feels-â
âShut up.â
Gojo can only take that much of your nonsense before heâs stuffing your mean mouth full with a flimsy piece of fabric from somewhere on the bed- no. A strangely familiar pair of panties.Â
âHeh, sâmuch ohhh fuck- better.â he beams with pride when youâre gagging and tearing up so adorably around the light blue fabric. Ramming his cock up harder - stronger, as if daring you to make a little comment about it. âShouldâve ah fuck- known you wouldnât make it easy fâme.â
As if to prove his point, he gives your ravaged clit a little smack! before teasing and rolling his thumb exactly the way youâd taught him to with his tongue.
And heâs scrambling to sit up, carrying your boneless body with him.Â
The new angle has Gojo seeing stars, penetrating your gummy walls deeper, hitting that familiar g-spot heâs mapped out by now. âHere?â he manages to cackle, a big arm wrapping around your waist. âRight here? Sâmy cock hitting th-that ngh- good spot? Yer pussy is fuuuck so much easier to u-understand than I ah- thought.â
Reeling back to bounce you on his thick cock. Crashing into it again. And again and again and-
Since you canât snap back - or even beg for more - you only let out muffled little moans through the gag in your mouth. Thighs burning as you push back in pathetic little thrusts to somehow meet Gojoâs mindless cadence.
âOh yeah?â he drags, leaning back to help you ride him properly. âYeah yeah do i-it hah- like that. Do it juuuust like that.â A harsh thumb rolls into your clit, making you stutter and grind yourself down messily. âFuck- Yeah ruin me- ngh- just like that.â
His words were jagged - uneven. Spitting out of his plump lips like he didnât even know they were every time Gojoâs fat, leaky tip was gliding across your cervix, your g-spot. Leaving possessive little bruises to claim you from the inside out.Â
âC-close.â you slur out, not even sure if he could hear over the dull slap of his balls on your ass, and the greedy squelches of your cunt. âMore, Toru.â
Yet your sinful, sickly sweet noises have him freezing - if only for a split-second. Pussydrunk eyes going wide, jaw falling slack in such awe.Â
But before you can fully appreciate this sight, heâs starting back his depraved thrusts again. Bouncing you harder - faster. Just dragging you along every ridge and bump of his swollen cock. Fingers just a needy blur toying with your poor clit.Â
âM-more?â he whines into the crook of your neck, voice breaking at the end. âMore. More?â He speaks up, like a mantra. Each word sending you spiraling down Gojoâs merciless cock, Panting, âEver since you fuck- started rooming wâme, wanted this- wanted you to hah- be my first.â Holding you in such a vice-like grip as he splits you apart on his aching cock. Harder. âYouâve ruined me-â he spits against your lips, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks. âDonâ know how many times Iâve cum to your pretty panties. Ruined me- ruined me- fuck mâso close- ruined me.â Violent, even.Â
So it only makes sense that your orgasm was the same.Â
And itâs only taking a few more unsteady jabs into your g-spot before a wave of euphoria is crashing over you. âHngh-â you spasm in Gojoâs arms, his eyes going wide in wonder when your cunt squeezes him so fucking tight- only to-
âF-fuck!â he whines, connecting your lips to his. Kissing you even with your panties still stuffed into your mouth. And Gojoâs cumming and cumming so hard he doesnât even think heâs breathing. Intertwining his tongue with yours to muffle his overstimulated moans, wrapping around your sweet slick-soaked panties in the middle. The contrast of his soft tongue with the lazy fabric of your panties only making you milk his poor cock harder. âFuck fuck fuck fuck fuck- fuck- Take it. Take it, my girl.â
You moan incoherently, going insane at the way he was filling you up with long, thick ropes of cum. Fucking deeper and deeper up into you to paint your plushy walls from the inside.Â
âSâall Iâve- ngh wanted.â he murmurs throatily, such a fucking mess now. Face flushed, eyes glassy with tears, drool dripping down the corner of his mouth with the way he was sucking lewdly on your tongue. âYouâre all I-Iâve ever wanted.â
Shit, he hasnât cum this hard in his life.
Finally having had enough of shutting up your smart mouth, Gojo slows down to deep little grinds - still moving. Still trying to hold back his moans at that creamy ring around his hilt, at the globs of seed trickling out of your poor overfilled pussy.Â
âHah- Toru-â you whine when he pries away the fabric in your mouth. Shuddering with the swipe of his finger along your clit, âC-could almost ngh- forgive youâŠâ
âThe blue one.â
âWhat?â youâre staring at him in confusion, and Gojoâs fucked-out grin only spreads wider.Â
âThat was for the b-blue one.â you gasp when his balls suddenly squeeze so painfully underneath you. Cock jerking in interest, âYâgonna have me make up for that whole drawer full of panties, sweetheart?â
A/N. VIRGIN GOJO BRAIN ROT GOES BRRRRRRRR
Plagiarism not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#tonywrites
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đđđđŹ, đđđđŹ, đđđđŹ ⧠Feat. JJK MEN
đđČđ§đšđ©đŹđąđŹ ââ Jjk Men in their -real- Daddy era. (Am I secretly having a baby fever LMAOO)
đđšđ§đđđ§đđŹ ââ fluffy stuff, pure wholesomeness and affectionate dads.
đđđđđČ đđšđŁđą
It's safe to say that sometimes you're raising two babies - only one of them is a big buff pouty one.
Daddy Toji sneaks to the kitchen in the middle of the night, leaving you both sleeping in your shared bedroom and then slowly closes the door. He promised himself he'd only take one *unnoticeable* spoon of your newborn's baby formula but ends up stuffing his face with the forbidden powder in the heat of the moment. He tries his best to hide his tracks by shoving the tin somewhere far in the cupboard.
He *oddly* always makes sure to be the one preparing his baby's bottle the next day - 'Oh darling, don'tcha move a muscle...I'll be right back with our baby's breakfast!'
You smile and raise a brow, already suspecting something. Daddy Toji is not much of a morning person. much less when it comes to baby chores...
đđđđđČ đđđđšđ«đź
Gojo is always there whenever you change your baby's diaper. He keeps laughing and giggling like a 6 year old, curiously learning from his baby momma how to take care of his little child. His sky blue eyes are staring at your skilled hands, handling your precious little one with infinte care. He keeps smiling in awe, chuckling every time your baby farts and making the funniest faces just to make them giggle.
He takes a million pictures of his baby every day; we're talking his whole camera roll is just his baby's face, cutesy hands, tiny feet, smiling, eating, sleeping on daddy's chest, drooling on his shoulder...the list never ends.
His baby looks so smol when he holds it in his huge hands. He has to bend all the way down just so he could pick them up cause obviously my dude is the tallest man ever.
đđđđđČ đđđ§đđŠđą
He'd take full care of your newborn just to see you rest and relax. He told you to teach him everything he needs to know so that he'd be perfectly fit for his new -and best ever- occupation; your baby father. He's got however only one pet peeve; getting his little one to burp after feeding them.
The reason? He was doing it once, holding the baby while gently patting its back...until he suddenly felt a warm liquid slithering down his shirt - the expensive one you dearly gifted him on your wedding anniversary- and to his surprise it was none other than his little one's vomit dripping down his shoulder...
Now he makes sure you hold a napkin behind him whenever he does it.
đđđđđČ đđđđš
He's by far the chillest Daddy EVER. Carries his little one whenever he goes. Gets super jealous when your baby starts calling for you, or wants you to hold them instead of him. He's determined to make them say 'daddy' first, but deep down knows it'd melt his heart when he sees the little version of him utter mommy's name for the first time.
Staying awake at night putting his baby to sleep just so you can get your full nightly rest is something he'd never miss out on. He hates seeing you tired or sleepy and puts both of your needs before anything else.
Daddy Geto is always calm and smiley, no matter how much mess his baby makes or how long it'd take for him to clean it up - sometimes makes you seriously wonder how he manages to be so damn chill all the time.
đđđđđČ đđźđ€đźđ§đ
For a husband twice your size with four arms and eyes he sure should take most care of your little offspring - He does tbf - His baby is always laying somewhere on his body or at least near him; sleeping against his chest, nibbling on his thumb, drooling on the side of his shoulder or sitting on his huge lap.
He's got a 6th sense whenever it comes to his baby being hungry, thirsty, sleepy or needing anything at all. Instantly knows the reason why his little one is crying and most of the time is very quick to make them happy again.
Absolutely hates poopie smell and calls them a brat whenever he senses their diaper getting heavier. 'Aggh you little runt!' You can't help laughing at him getting overwhelmed with such a tiny thing and start teasing him over it.
đđđđđČ đđźđźđđ
There's nothing that Yuuta loves more than children. He has always wanted to have kids and couldn't wait to create his very first and own one with you. He's in LOVE with seeing you taking care of them; almost admiring every move and every word you say. He smiles like an idiot whenever he sees you holding your baby, breastfeeding them, playing with them or even laying next to them.
His favorite game is to hide somewhere in the house and let his little one look for him. He does it so suddenly and quickly, leaving them puzzled with big round eyes - comes out of his hideaway when they start sobbing and laughs at their little red nose and pouty cheeks.
'Aww why is my little cupcake cryiiing?...Daddy's right here!'
#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk imagines#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#toji x reader#toji x you#jjk smut#toji imagine#jjk toji#toji smut#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji#jujutsu kaisen#nanami headcanons#nanami kento x reader#nanami x reader#nanami kento#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x you#gojo satoru#gojo imagine#gojo satoru smut#suguru geto#geto suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#geto suguru
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its pathetic, realizing that despite the amount of energy ive tried to put out into the world, the things i love most wont love me back
friends, family, new and old
it all feels like its falling apart
im unlovable if its not through a screen. my skin is cold and made of glass and i just keep hurting everyonr who comes into contact with me
#maybe i should just die after all#wouldnt it be easier#i made it this far and look where it got me#lonely and broken and sad#anyone who does care is so so far away from me#id do anything for you#why. why wont anyone do the same#im so terribly lonely#i cant do this anymore#everything is wrong with me and i keep fuckinf up and theres sometjing wrong with me#bc why else do i keep getting left behind#why can i neber blame anyone else#did i not try my hardest#hanging myself feels like a very viable option rn#id draw vent art#but#ah
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the very first night
summary: the search for a new place to live takes a turn for the worse when the only person willing to split rent with you is your ex-boyfriend.
pairing: kim mingyu x fem!reader genres: romance, angst, smut, exes to lovers!au, roommates!au word count: 19.7k
âł warnings: profanity, alcohol conusmption, explicit sexual content (oral sex, fingering, protected sex) âł a/n: title is the very first night by taylor swift. reposted from my old blog.
ONE
You think that all the decisions youâve made in your life so far have all boiled down to this one moment.
Karmic retribution, if you will.
Despite the six months for which you and your ex-boyfriend have been separated, Kim Mingyu looks the same. The same floppy hair that never quite sits flat on his headâthough heâs let it grow a tiny bit, and now it curls behind his earsâand the same tight-fitting black shirt you swear you tried stealing from him once. Wire-rimmed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, and warm brown eyes that peer back at you. Pink lips which beckon you with a small, yet welcoming smile.
âHey.â The word drags from his mouth, and he extends the last syllable for a second longer than necessary. âYouâre here early.â
Shit. Even his voice sounds the same.
You heft your suitcase and place it by your feet just so you can avoid eye contact. Under different circumstances, Mingyu probably wouldnât have let you carry your suitcase all the way up the stairs to the third floorâthe elevator has been out of commission since before you even met him, and that doesnât appear to change anytime soon. He probably would have lugged the whole thing upstairs, despite your protests and claims that youâre strong enough to do it on your own. But now, you can only sense his gaze on your figure as you place it securely on the floor.
When you straighten up, heâs still looking at you. He has an eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest, but his eyes are clouded, almost as if heâs built some kind of impenetrable fortress against you. You have your walls up, tooâin the slight clench of your jaw and defiant raise of your chinâand itâs something someone else wouldnât be able to notice, but youâre sure Kim Mingyu has.
âYeah. Um.â You attempt to smile, pray it doesnât visibly appear as a grimace, and gesture behind you with your thumb. âThe packers and movers came by pretty early, so everything ended up moving faster.â
âI see.â He purses his lips, evidently running out of things to say. (Good for you, really, because thereâs nothing for you to say either.)
You take the chance to glance behind himâa feat in itself, considering how broad his shoulders areâand observe the interiors of what is going to be your home for the next year. Beige walls, the ratty sofa he bought off a garage sale, the television set he originally used to play video games on but ended up using it to watch shows insteadâand a potted succulent placed in the corner. That wasnât there before.
Before you allow your lips to tug up amusedly, Mingyu speaks again. âIs that all? Whenâs the rest of your stuff coming in?â
âThe movers said theyâd have everything ready within two days. It might take me longer to get everything sorted out, though,â you reply, aiming your gaze downwards at your suitcase.
Itâs an old thing, with fraying fabric and rusty wheels, but it currently contains a fraction of your belongings: Clothes, toiletry, a small pouch where you keep items that have a special significance to you. Only the bare essentials, really. Mingyu had assured you that the room was furnished, with a bed, closet and desk. His old roommate, Minghao, had moved out but left the furniture behind because he had no reason to take them with himânot when he moved in with his girlfriend in her own apartment. All thatâs left for the movers to bring over is your bookshelf, your book collection, the rest of your clothes, the Ikea drawer you and your best friend, Park Jihyo, built together, and other smaller items like your desk lamp and office chair.
âThatâs okay,â Mingyu says. âTake as long as you need.â
You nod, mumbling a âthank youâ, then bend down to pick up your suitcase.
Mingyu moves aside, granting you enough space to roll it across the floor and head over to the side that leads to the Minghaoâs old room. Right opposite you is the doorway that leads to Mingyuâs bedroom, and further to the side is the corridor that opens into the kitchen, the small space where he keeps a dining table, and the bathroom.
In a way, youâre glad your room is situated further away from those places. Ghosts of memories linger there, ones that you canât bear to revisit.
No, itâs better this way; youâre away from everything that you used to consider a second home. Maybe if you close the door behind you, you can pretend like youâre in some kind of void where the only things that exist are you and the bed.
âWait, Y/N.â
You pause, feeling⊠something. The way he says your name, so casually, as if itâs second nature to him (it used to be) and nothing has changed at all, has you on edgeânot in the good way, but not in the bad way either.Â
You turn around. âYeah?â
âUm.â Your ex-boyfriend hesitates for a second. âIâm⊠going out for dinner with Minghao and some others, is that okay? It might be late by the time I come back.â
âOkay.â Then, feeling the need to clarify something, you say, âYouâyou donât have to tell me that. We donât⊠owe each other an explanation for where the other is.â
Mingyu stays quiet, and you look away, teeth worrying your bottom lip. You wonder if heâs going to say anythingâor even show any kind of reaction at all.Â
âRight. We donât.â His voice is toned down with a kind of uneasiness that you donât blame him for. Heck, even you feel a twinge of hurt rise up your throat at your own words. âIâll⊠let you get some rest.â He nods once, places his hands in his pockets, and walks back to his room.
Your grip on the suitcase handle tightens. Once you enter your room, you let out a pained sigh. You shut the door and turn your back to the wooden blockade that separates you from the rest of the apartment.
This is not going the way you expectedâbut then again, what had you expected? That everything between you and Mingyu would just vanish and you could talk to him normally without feeling that tiny pinprick of bitterness stab your chest every time you address him? You and Mingyu have a history, filled with good times and bad times, and six months spent away from each other will do nothing to erase that.Â
You think of what your old roommate, Jihyo, wouldâve said. Heâs just a boy, Y/N. Make him clean the toilet all the time so heâll automatically get sick of you.
You smile to yourself, unlocking your phone. Jihyo is probably too busy settling down in her new home in the city she moved to, so she canât pick up your call. You decide to send her a text message instead.
You switch to the food app, order your favourite dishes from the Indian place a couple of streets away, and toss your phone onto the bed. Kneeling, you unzip your suitcase and unpack the few items you have with you. As you move around, you can already imagine how to decorate the place, how to make it feel more like a home and less like youâre an intruder. The closet is just enough for all the clothes you ownâthe ones youâve packed and the ones stored in cardboard boxes yet to arrive. The desk placed opposite to the bed is perfect for when you have to work on your laptop late at night; if you place your lamp on it, you might even forget that youâre not in your old apartment. The bed already has a mattress with clean linen on the bedspread. You place your old Looney Tunes duvet on it.
Thirty minutes later, the doorbell rings. You pause your unpacking to get the door and thank the delivery guy for the food. Mingyu has already left, judging by the lack of noise in the rest of the apartment. You just hope he doesnât come back home drunk and shit-facedâthat would definitely ruin the rest of your night, and the much-needed sleep you require.Â
You decide not to use the kitchen table, instead opting to take the food containers into your room, where you can eat and watch a show at the same time. Itâs lonely, but at least you can have your meal somewhere comfortable.
Your phone rings with notifications. You pick it up, carefully balancing the bowl of curry on your knee.Â
(19:47) Jihyo: hows the apartment??? did u make mingyu clean the toilet yet?
(19:47) Mingyu: hey, iâm at a thai place. do you want anything to eat at home? i could get something packaged.
You smile at the first text, tense up at the second one, and place your phone down next to you. Not replying to either of their messages might be a bad idea, but right now, all you want is to have your spicy curry and naan in peaceâyour best friend and ex-boyfriend be damned.
TWO
Itâs only after you move in with Mingyu that your separation from Jihyo truly sinks in. Now, thereâs no one you can wake up at two in the morning because your period started and you ran out of pads, or gossip about that one campus couple who broke up in public at your favourite boba place.
Not to mention the fact that living with your ex-boyfriend is mildly awkward at best and stupidly melancholic at worst.
Itâs been a week, but you and Mingyu seem to have figured out a way to work in tandem. It appears as though neither of you want to see the otherâjust yet, at least. He goes for a morning jog at six; your alarm rings at six. He comes back reeking of sweat at seven in the morning; youâre getting ready to leave for work by then. You do the dishes on the days he vacuums the apartment and vice versa. It leaves no room for conversation, other than the occasional greetings and small talk when you happen to cross paths.
In fact, ever since you purposefully ignored Mingyuâs text asking if you wanted anything from the Thai restaurant, heâs made a conscious effort at avoiding you.
You nearly jump out of your seat when someone taps your shoulder. âHey.â
You turn around and meet your co-worker, Lee Seokminâs eyes. He smiles at you, eyes curving into little crescents.
âHi,â you say, smiling back automatically.
If thereâs one person you can count on to bring a smile to your lips, even if itâs eight oâclock in the morningâat work, no lessâitâs Lee Seokmin. His cheerful nature and lively personality is infectious. His happiness radiates outwards in waves that everyone gets swept up on. You might even consider yourself envious of how easily he sways everyone, with that exuberant smile and those good-natured compliments he doles out to everyone like they cost him nothing. (Which they donât, you suppose.)
âSomething on your mind?â
Your smile turns into a grimace. âYou could tell?â
He gives you a little half-shrug, still smiling. âYou had a weird, serious, think-y face. And before you come at me for think-y not being a real wordâIâm very aware of that, thank youâitâs the best way I can describe you.â
âYou chose think-yââ you bite back a chuckleâ âas the best word to describe me? Come on, Seokmin, you can do better than that.â
âI can,â he agrees, âbut only when the situation is appropriate.â His face turns grave, and he continues, âBut seriously, Y/N. Did you have a rough night?â
His eyes roam over your face, evident concern shown in the curve of his lips and the slight dip of his eyebrows. You control your wince, wondering if the swollen bags underneath your eyes arenât as concealed by your makeup as you thought.Â
Rough week, more like. But you donât say that to him. âSomething like that,â you say.
âYou moved out a while back, right? Howâs the new place?â
âItâs⊠good. Close to the supermarket and all that. Everything is within, like, a ten-metre radius, so I donât have to go very far to get things.â
âThatâs nice to hear,â Seokmin says, and you can tell he really means it. âI bet youâre tired, though, with all that packing and unpacking and moving around.â
He bends closer, the front of his loosely tucked shirt just barely touching the back of your chair. This close, you can smell the faint scent of Seokminâs deodorant and fabric softener. He taps his finger on the arm of your chair. âDo you want to get some coffee with me?â
âUm.â You look back at your laptop and the pile of binders next to it. Seokmin seems to know what youâre thinking, because he huffs and says, âCâmon, Iâm sure Seungcheol wouldnât mind if you took a coffee break.â
âI guess,â you return, flashing him a smile when he rolls your chair backwards to give you space to stand up.
Getting up, both of you weave your way to the third floor, where the only functioning coffee maker is housed. The elevator is too crowded and busy for you to use to get down from your position on the seventh floor, so you settle for using the stairs. Throughout the ten-minute walk (which effectively turns into a fifteen-minute one, thanks to him), Seokmin waves and greets every single fellow office worker you pass by. By name.
You roll your eyes and bite your lip to hold back your laugh when a young, female internâprobably still in college by the looks of itâflushes bright red because Seokmin complimented her barrette.
He catches your eye and grins. âWhatâs so funny?â
You shake your head good-naturedly. âItâs nothing. Carry on with whatever you were doing.â
âWhat was I doing?â
âOh, you know,â you say airily, âmaking everyone fall head over heels for you because youâre just so nice.â
His grin only widens. âYou make it sound as though being nice is a bad thing.â
âThatâs not what I meant at all,â you protest. âIâm justâ Greeting every single person you see? By name? How do you even know everyone in the building?â
âI just check their ID card,â he explains, shrugging slightly. âI read this WikiHow article that said if you speak to people using their name, it creates a good impression and makes you appear more confident than you really are.â
âReally?â
Humming, Seokmin nods, before adding slyly, âIâm not sure what you mean by making everyone fall in love with me, though.â
âPlease,â you snort. âYouâre way too charming for your own goodâand I donât mean that in a bad way.â
âYou think so?âÂ
You can hear the smugness in his tone and you roll your eyes again. âYes, I think so.â
âThenâŠâ He trails off, gazing at the handrail.
Seokminâs voice turns softer, more serious. Contemplation bleeds into his features, and when he speaks again, he lacks the bravado he had with all the other people he spoke to on your way down.
âGuess I better work on charming the right people, huh?âÂ
You blink, but before you can digest Seokminâs words, he gives you another bright grin before rounding the corner and striding towards the coffee machine. You follow, the need for caffeine in your system overriding your instinct to mull over what your co-worker said. Unfortunately, it seems you and Seokmin arenât the only ones who want coffee; a long queue runs ahead of you. Your coffee break might end up taking longer than you thought.
âSo,â Seokmin casually drawls, one hand in his pocket and the other fiddling with his ID cardâs lanyard. âDo you want to talk about your rough night?â
âIâŠâ You pause and consider.Â
Should you tell Seokmin? You trust him enoughâyouâve known him for as long as youâve been working in this companyâand heâs always been friendly to you, offering you a ride home when both of you work overtime and paying for your food on the occasional visits to a cafĂ© or a coffee shop. Besides, heâs the closest person you have to a friend, now that Jihyo lives in a different city and you canât call her up whenever you feel like it. You decide to tread the waters first, only telling him the bare minimum.
âHypothetically speaking,â you begin, âif you move in with someone you donât like but have known for years, what would you do?â
âThatâs a tough one.â He scratches his chin, pretending to think. âI guess it depends on the kind of past you share, yâknow? But either way, I would try to⊠make peace with them, I guess. Like a ceasefire. Offer them an olive branch. Hypothetically speaking, of course.â He grins knowingly at the last bit and you shove his shoulder.
What Seokmin said makes sense. You and Mingyu are living together; your past relationship shouldnât come in the way of talking to each other. But it does, so much more than it should. Try as hard as you might, every time you think of Kim Mingyu, the first thing that comes to your mind is all the kisses youâve shared, the way his arms feel around you, how both of you broke the promises you made to each otherâall because you were too proud and he was too stubborn.Â
You still are proud. For all you know, Mingyu might still be stubborn.Â
What a pair, you think drily.
You and Seokmin shuffle forwards. He stays silent, allowing you to process your thoughts and wonder how, exactly, youâre going to get over Mingyu and talk to him without feeling like your stomach is twisting into a million knots.Â
Once you reach the coffee machine, Seokmin hands you a cup. âItâs hot,â he warns, before carefully handing you the styrofoam cup filled to the brim with the bitter brew. You cautiously take a sip, wincing when you almost burn your tongue and make a face at your co-worker when he chimes, âI told you.â
The walk back to your floor doesnât take as long as the walk down. Before you part ways, Seokmin offers you a small smile and a pat on your shoulder.
âIf youâre wondering how to approach your roommate,â he says, lowering his voice, âmaybe start off by offering them food. Works like a charm every time.â
Food. Yeah, you can manage that. Dinner with your ex-boyfriend.
Should be a piece of cake.
THREE
Asking Mingyu if he would like to have dinner with you is decidedly not a piece of cake.
When he comes back home from work, Mingyu has only one trajectory: Travel in a straight line from the door to his bedroom, offering you a tight smile if he sees you along the way. His bag is always slung across one shoulder and his shirt is always untucked and his hair is always a wild mess. If his appearance wasnât achingly familiar, you would probably laugh every time you see his unruly figure.
It takes a week for you to muster up the nerve to look Mingyu in the eye, after your conversation with Seokmin. Heâs been pestering you incessantly, almost exactly like Jihyo. When you told her about Seokminâs suggestion, she had been nothing short of enthusiastic. Your phone has been blowing up constantly with texts from her, egging you on and on and on to make a move first and raise the (hypothetical) white flag.Â
âIf you keep putting it off, youâre going to be very miserable for the rest of your immediate future,â was her reasoning when you called and spoke to her on the phone three days ago. âBut also if you donât fucking ask him to have a meal with you within the next week, I will fly over and have you both sit in a room, alone, and force you to talk.â
Both the options are pretty much the same. You didnât have the energy to tell Jihyo that.
Itâs on a Monday evening that you catch Mingyu and pop the question. A Monday evening thatâs insignificant, really. Almost laughable at how normal the evening is. Mingyu unlocks the door, closes it while toeing his shoes off, and gives you the same tight smileâone where it doesnât reach his eyes, his jaw is slightly clenched, and his lips thin into almost straight lines.Â
âMingyu.â Your voice comes out breathless, like youâve been jogging for miles before coming to a stop in front of him. He pauses, wind-ruffled hair framing his face in cloudy wisps.
âYeah?âÂ
âIâuhââ you force the words to tumble out of your lips, before you can overthinkâ âI was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me?â
Mingyu purses his lips, looking at you warily. Heâs careful, cautious, when he asks, âIs⊠there any special reason?â
You swallow. âNo,â you say honestly, not allowing your eyes to tear away from his. âThere isnât. But I tried making lasagne today, and I would like to share it with someone.â
For a minute, he doesnât say anything, only lets his bag fall into the crook of his arm. âOkay,â he says finally. âLet me just change and wash up.â
You nod, making your way to the kitchen to bring out the casserole. Youâre not usually one for cookingâyou prefer ordering takeout because itâs easier and they make the food better than you, anywayâbut simply ordering food didnât sit right with you. Lasagne is a dish youâve made a few times before, and you would rather make something youâre familiar with instead of trying to whip up something new.
When you go back into the kitchen, you find Mingyu already there, bent over an open cupboardâs door as he fishes out some plates and cutlery. Heâs wearing a loose white shirt and grey sweatpants, fringe falling freely over his forehead and obscuring his eyes.Â
âAre our regular plates okay or do we need the china ones?â he asks, still bent over.
âWhy do we need china plates? Wait, why do you even have china plates with you in the first place?â
He looks over at you and shrugs. âDunno. Minghao had a china cutlery phase, I think.â
That does sound like a phase Xu Minghao would have.
âThe regular ones are fine.â You donât want to risk breaking Minghaoâs precious cutlery.
While Mingyu wipes the plates with a dishcloth, you grab two mugs and pour orange juice from the fridge into them. You take one in each hand and follow Mingyu to the kitchen table, placing both of them on either side.
âOrange juice?â Mingyuâs eyebrows are raised.
âYeah. So?â you challenge him, raising your eyebrows as well.
But he doesnât say anything against your choice of beverage, only shrugs and mumbles, âWe should really stock up on alcohol.â
Your lips twitch. You donât allow yourself to smile.
Instead, you pull your chair back and sit down, steepling your fingers in front of you. Mingyu piles some food onto his plate. For some reason, you feel weirdly nervous. What if itâs not as good as you think? What if he doesnât like it?
You shake those thoughts away. This is Kim Mingyu. Even if the food was bad, he wouldnât tell you; he would only grin, compliment your culinary skills, and continue to eat despite everything.
âIs it⊠good?â you ask tentatively, after he takes a forkful into his mouth and chews deliberately.
He waits until heâs swallowed before answering. âItâs great. Really good,â he affirms, and you can hear in his voice that he means it.
Well, almost.
Itâs the slight dip and intonation of his tone, but itâs one youâre familiar with. You narrow your eyes at him. Mingyu continues eating, oblivious to your glare. In fact, he shovels more lasagne onto his dish and eats with more gusto, pausing every now and then to gulp down some orange juice.
âReally?â you say casually. âIâm glad. Maybe I should try some too.â
Mingyuâs reaction is so instantaneous, itâs almost comical. His eyes widen by a fraction, and he immediately reaches for the casserole. âYou should definitely try some,â he says. âBut itâs so good, I wanna have some more.â
You bite the inside of your cheek, watching Mingyu stuff more food into his mouth before deciding to put him out of his misery.
âMingyu. Tell me the truth. Howâs the food?â
He pauses, swallowing the food in his mouth and answering with a subdued, sheepish smile:
âItâs too salty.â
FOUR
âWhy are you leaving so early?â Jihyoâs voice crackles through your phone placed on your bed.
âSeokmin said he wanted to try out the croissants at the new bakery that opened nearby,â you reply, fiddling with the buttons of your shirt. âHe also said he wanted to buy a baguette so that he could whack his roommate with it. Something about going all the way to Paris to buy it but his roommate used it to hammer a nail into the wall and broke it.â
A pause, and then, âIs his roommate okay in the head?â
âGood question.â You grin at your reflection in the mirror, pat down the hair at the back of your neck, and grab your phone. âIâm heading out now. Iâll text you later.â
ââkay,â your best friend says. âTell Mingyu I said hi.â
âI will,â you say, but you already know youâre not going to greet him on behalf of her.
Things between you and Mingyu are⊠still pretty much the same, honestly. After that dinner fiasco, youâve been too embarrassed to properly address him, and heâs not made much of an effort on his part. Or maybe youâve been consciously avoiding him so much that he doesnât get a chance to put his foot forward. Either way, your cheeks still burn up whenever you think of that nightâs dinner, so for now, hiding in your room is quite possibly the only way you can prevent yourself from catching fire completely.
Stupid logic. Youâre a grown adult, with the ability to make good judgements and make decisions. Unfortunately, your decisions are mostly borderline idiotic.
Shouldering your bag, you leave your room and head to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Thereâs a Post-It note stuck on the refrigerator. Peeling it off the fridgeâs door, you read it curiously.
Got some cookies from Minghaoâs friendâs bakery. Iâve kept them in the pantry. Enjoy! :)Â
Mingyuâs familiar scrawl is branded into your head, and seeing the yellow square of paper makes nostalgia bubble inside your chest like a bath bomb dropped into a bathtub filled with water. You pocket the note, and smile so widely, your cheeks hurt.
Maybe heâs put his foot forward, after all.
Seokmin is already waiting for you outside your apartment building by the time you go out. He grins at you, his eyes crinkling in the corners and teeth flashing happily.Â
âHi,â you greet him. âDid you wait long?â
âNo.â Your co-worker shakes his head, still smiling. âI just got here, actually.â
âIâm glad.â You return his smile. âShould we head out?â
Seokmin nods. âOf course,â he says, and you fall into step with him.Â
He has a never-ending list of topics to talk to you aboutâand for the most part, youâre glad that heâs so outgoing. In twenty minutes, youâve learnt almost everything there is to know about his roommate, Jeonghan, his older sister, his fear of ladybugs (you snort out loud at that particular anecdote), and his favourite anime (Haikyu!! and One Piece). In return, you tell him about that time you and Jihyo accidentally walked into the wrong restroom at a bar, and how you got dumped by your high school crush because he thought you were better than him at playing basketball.
Itâs comfortable. Talking to Seokmin always is.Â
But you still donât talk about Mingyu. You try hard to stop thinking of him, but heâs always there at the back of your mind, an unopened gift that you donât unwrap.Â
Finally, you and Seokmin round a corner and find yourselves standing in front of the just-opened bakery. The scent of vanilla and cinnamon wafts through the open door. An array of different types of breads and other desserts is placed carefully on a display at the counter, and the owner greets you with a welcoming smile.
âWhat do you want to have?â Seokmin asks, holding your elbow and leading you in.
You eye the basket of croissants. The buttery confection looks delicious, but so does the tray of muffins placed next to it. And the bagels placed beside the muffins. âI canât decide.â
âHow about one of everything?â
You glance at him to see if heâs joking, but Seokmin looks completely serious. âYouâre kidding, right?â you say, grabbing his arm. âThereâs no way Iâm going to let you buy one of everything in this store!â
âI would,â Seokmin admits, a flush creeping up his neck, âif you asked me to.â
You groan. âSeokmin. Please donât.â
âAlright, alright.â He raises his hands in defeat. âIâm just saying, if you wanted me toââ
âOne croissant, please,â you interrupt, addressing the owner. âTo go. And he will haveâŠâ
âMake that two croissants,â Seokmin finishes. âIâll have whatever the ladyâs having.â
âHow gentlemanly of you.â
âI know.â
Seokmin pays for his croissant, and you pay for yours. The owner wraps them up and hands them to you, asking you to visit again. Once you exit, you unwrap yours and take a small bite. The bread is soft and melts in your mouth, leaving a sweet aftertaste. You take another bite, and itâs only then that you notice Seokmin looking at you, a corner of his lips turned upwards in a crooked smile and one hand in his pocket.
âWhat?â you ask, suddenly self-conscious. âDo I have crumbs on my face?â
âNo,â he replies. âI just⊠I would really love to do this again, Y/N.â
Oh.
Seokmin looks at you so hopefully. Like heâs been waiting for this opportunity for a long time. Like he needs to get something off his chest. Like he never wants this moment to end.
â...Iâd like that, too,â you say.
Somehow, the words leave a bitter taste in your mouth, one that even another mouthful of the sweet snack canât erase.
FIVE
Itâs getting late, and yet Kim Mingyu is hellbent on getting you to keep him company. The worst part is that itâs workingâthough you would never admit that to him.
Being friends with your ex isnât that uncommon. You and Mingyu can be friends. But how long are you willing to put up with this ruse before it all blows up in your faces? Friendship between two people who used to date isnât that much of a big dealâbut thatâs just it, isnât it? You and Mingyu werenât just two people who used to date.
How did you even let him talk you into spending time with him? Or maybe thatâs all on you; youâve never been able to say no to him. One minute youâre looking at his face and remembering the lasagne gone wrong, the next heâs asking if you want to watch a movie with him. Except neither of you have updated your Netflix subscription, so this was a bad idea all along.
Maybe talking to Mingyu is a bad idea.Â
Maybe you should go back to your old ways, locking yourself up in your room and only acknowledging his presence when you happen to cross paths.Â
But the socialite in you nags, what if he thinks youâre some kind of hermit who only comes out to eat and drink? Besides, heâs here now, right next to you on the sofaâkeeping a respectable distance between your bodiesâas he watches a rerun of Americaâs Next Top Model because it was the least shitty thing playing on all the channels you scrounged through fifteen minutes ago.Â
Normally, you would be elated at the idea of poking fun at random reality shows, expressing your exasperation at the poorly-written scripted drama and the even worse acting. But even if the showoff between two aspiring models both named Jessica and sporting the same colour of fake tan and bleached blonde hair was somewhat interesting, you find your gaze keeps wandering to your ex-boyfriend.
You trace the contours of his face with your eyesâthe cheekbones that jut out only slightly, the furrow created on his forehead as his eyebrows kiss, the way his honey-brown eyes stare at the screen in front of him with a focused intensity. Even the way his lips curve ever-so slightly upwards, despite him pressing them together, has you recalling just how soft they felt against your own.Â
His warm, soft skin. The prominent collarbone that you used to press small kisses to whenever you wanted to get his attention. The moles scattered all over his body, creating a canvas for you to paint on by tracing them with your fingers. The flex of his fingers as he bunches them into a loose fist.
Everything about him is so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time.
Even this semblance of friendship that has bridged the drawn-out distance between you both feels strangeâas though somewhere in the back of your subconscious, you recognise that this camaraderie is either a really good thing or could go extremely wrong. Youâre in the middle of that bridge, trying your best not to lean too much to the right or to the left, but even a slight misstep could lead to everything going downhill.
âAre you rooting for Jessice H. or Jessica C.?â
âHuh?â You blink, escaping your haze of thoughts. âIâm sorryâwhich one is which?â
Mingyu glances at you with a deadpan expression. âWeâve been watching them trying to one up each other for the past ten minutes.â
âSorry.â You smile sheepishly. âBoth of them look the same to me.â
âFair enough,â he acquiesces, before returning his focus to the show. âItâs the fake tan, isnât it? Although the hair is similar too⊠No wonder theyâve been arguing about who put on their mascara betterâit looks identical.âÂ
You play along. âOr maybe itâs the supposed Gucci belts. I had no idea Gucci made handbags with fake crocodile skin.â
âThe more you knowâŠâ
You laugh at that, and Mingyu looks at youâreally looks, the same way he used to when you made a bad joke and giggled at it yourself. He looks at you with adoration written all over his face, in the upward twist of his lips and the crinkling in the corners of his eyes.
You clamp your mouth shut immediately, feeling a sense of nostalgia, longing and wistfulness seep into your skin, through your flesh and settle deep into your bones.Â
Too much. Itâs too much, and itâs way too early, and you donât want to dwell on anything at the moment. So you do what you do best: You hide.
You tear your gaze off him and rub your palms on your old jeans. You hear Mingyuâs sharp intake of breath, but you force yourself not to look, not to think about him.Â
âHey, uhâI was supposed to call Jihyo right now,â you lie, and even you think it sounds lame coming out of your mouth, so thereâs no way Mingyu canât see through it.
âY/N,â is all he says.Â
You hate the way your chest clenchesâjust because he said your nameâbut what can you do? Escape the situation and never bring up the obvious elephant in the room?
Yeah. Thatâs exactly what you do. Making decisions isnât your forte, but youâll deal with the consequences of your actions later. Much, much later, if you can avoid it for as long as youâre living here.
You get up and make a beeline for your room, and Kim Mingyu doesnât say anything to make you stop.
SIX
Whenever you faltered, Jihyo was your voice of reason. She would help you back to your feet, give you a solid nudge on your shoulder and list out the pros and cons of everything, allowing you to formulate your own opinion and come to a decision.
She isnât being very helpful right now.
âThink about it,â she reasons. âBefore, he was your ex. Now, heâs the guy you live with. You have to talk to him, no matter what.â
Sheâs right. She knows you know sheâs right. You still refuse to acknowledge it, because pride comes before a fall, but you havenât fallen yet. Itâs more like youâre dangling off the precipice.
âHowâs Jaehyun?â you say instead, referring to the guy sheâs been crushing on ever since she moved to the new city.
Jihyo lets out an unimpressed sigh, the grainy image of her face on your phone screen contorting slightly. âDonât think youâre being super smart by changing the topic, Y/N. And heâs fine. We went out for boba the other day.â
âYeah?â You play with the fraying edge of the duvet thrown over your body. âThatâs nice.â
Jihyo hums, pushing some of her hair behind her ear. âAnd then he asked if we could hook up.â
You guffaw. âReally?â
âYeah.â She nods vigorously, affirming her statement. âI said no, obviously.â
âWhy? Afraid heâs too much to handle?â
âPlease,â your best friend snorts. âHave you seen him? I think Iâm too much for him to handle. He couldnât even pay for the boba without tearing his pocket because he was too enthusiastic in getting his wallet out.â
You smile thinly. Jihyo might be poking fun at the man, but you can tell from the twinkle in her eyes and the way her voice is filled with infectious joy that sheâs enamoured by him. You wish you could meet him in person. Instead, you have to settle for checking out his Instagram profile.
âAnyway,â she continues, stifling a yawn, âitâs late and I have to head out tomorrow. Iâll call you later.â
âOkay,â you say. âGood night. Donât dream of Jaehyun.â
She flips her middle finger at you and you roll your eyes, pressing the end button. Just when youâre about to fluff your pillow so you can lie down, you hear a knock on your door.
âY/N?â Mingyu sounds remarkably active, considering the fact that itâs currently fifteen minutes past midnight. âAre you awake?â
Curiosity compels you to answer honestly, âYeah. Is everything okay?âÂ
You tread over to the door, swinging it open. Mingyu is in his sweatpantsâa pair you know he only wears for bedâand a loose graphic T-shirt. Youâre wearing pretty much the same attire, except your shirt is an old one, worn-out from your high school days, and it doesn't fit you that well anymore. You tug the hem over your hips consciously.
âYeah,â he says, nodding. âYeah, everythingâs okay. I was justâŠâ He pauses, raising a hand and ruffling his hair. âDo you wanna get some ice cream?â
Of all possible things you expected Mingyu to ask you, this certainly wasnât one of them. You blink, bemused.Â
âOrâor we donât have to,â he backtracks, when you donât say anything immediately. âI was just craving something sweet, thatâs allââ
âOkay,â you say, surprising yourself with your answer. Mingyu is trying to extend the olive branch you placed in between you both, and you have to appreciate that. Regardless of your personal feelings. Besides, Jihyo was rightâheâs the guy you live with, and you need to be able to spend time with him. As friends. Nothing more.
âOkay.â He exhales, relieved. âItâs right across the street.â
âI think I know the one youâre talking about.â
The ice cream parlour is a ten-minute walk from your apartment, but walking with Mingyu makes time fly. He says something about mint chocolate being an underrated flavour, and you insinuate that it deserves to be, and just like that, conversation flows between you both as though your past is some kind of a fever dream.
Where Seokmin is a bright ray of sunshine lighting up your way on a cloudy day, Mingyu is moonlight, skittering over your figure and providing solace in the dark. Seokmin is infectious laughter and gleeful smiles; Mingyu is whispered jokes and shared silence.
Perhaps itâs those very qualities that made you fall so hard for the man next to you. You know for sure itâs those very qualities that still have you in his grip, even though he doesnât know it. Maybe thatâs why talking to him is awkwardâbecause how do you move on from someone who captured your heart and kept it for safe-keeping but know that thereâs one big, gaping hole in your chest where his heart is supposed to be? Even now, a small part of you belongs to Mingyu, like a little token which heâs kept locked up and hidden the key.
Six months is a long time, but neither you nor Mingyu seems to be able to bring up what happened. Maybe itâs for the best, you think. You would rather have a small bit of this domesticity that feels familiar than have everything blow up in your face because of the harsh words you exchanged.
You ignore the tightening in your chest and focus on the warmth pooling in your stomach when Mingyu grins and offers you a chance to redeem yourself when it comes to good ice cream flavours. You say mint chocolate is tolerable, but only because Mingyu likes it.
SEVEN
Seokmin drops by your cubicle almost every day now. He offers to drop you back home, too.
Each time, you smile but decline politely. You still feel guilty about saying that you would like to spend more time with him as wellâbut in your defence, you didnât really lie; you do want to spend more time with him, but only as a friend. Seokmin didnât specify how exactly he wants to go out with you.
Itâs getting harder to say no, however. Seokmin is everything if not persistent, and his determination to take you out has you crumbling under his forlorn gaze and pleading words.
He doesnât make your heart beat faster, or make butterflies erupt inside your belly. Being with Seokmin doesnât come with bright fireworks or flashy songs. Itâs finding the extraordinary in the mundane, and laughing yourselves silly over jokes that arenât even that funny.
So. Itâs not Mingyu, but Seokmin is nice and friendly and stable, and you think you can fall for him. You and Mingyu arenât going to cross the threshold of friends ever again, anyway. Thereâs nothing stopping you from going out with Seokmin.
âOkay,â you say when he asks you again, a half-resigned look on his face when he assumes youâll just say no again.Â
The way his expression morphs to elation is worth it, you think. He surges forward, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in for a tight hug. âThank you,â he whispers into your ear, and the joy he feels is infectiousâas most good things with Seokmin areâso itâs no surprise that your cheeks are already hurting from smiling too hard.
When you update Jihyo about the latest turn of events, she tuts disapprovingly and says, âHave you told Mingyu?â
âNo,â you say, feeling defensive. âI donât have to tell him, do I?â
Your best friend waits for a beat. âYou donât, I guess.â
Mingyu interrupts your call then, and you quickly tell Jihyo youâll text her later. He stands in the living room, holding up a pair of button down shirts, one in each hand, forehead creased and mouth downturned.
You lean against your doorway, amused. âYou called?â
His face clears as he looks at you, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. âI have this work event I need to attend tomorrow, but I donât know what to wear.â
You observe the shirts heâs holding up. One is cream in colour, long-sleeved and ironed neatly. The other is black, with a thin white stripe along the collar and sleeves.
âThe black one,â you say immediately. And then feel your cheeks heat up with your quick answer. In your defence, Kim Mingyu has always looked alarmingly handsome in black. Objectively speaking.
âI havenât worn this one in a long time.â He brings it close to his face, squinting at it. âIt probably stinks.â
âSmell it, then,â you say, chuckling at the mortified look on Mingyuâs face. âWhat? Youâre telling me youâve never worn your underwear inside out because you forgot to do the laundry? This isnât that different.â
âI have never done anything of the sort.â He sniffs petulantly at you, before his eyes narrow. âWait. Does that mean youâve worn your underwear inside out?â
You wrinkle your nose. âGross. I thought you knew me better than that.â
Mingyu tenses up at your offhand comment, and you look down, wondering why that even slipped out of your mouth in the first place. Of course you screw everything up just when things are going decently well.Â
âI do,â he mumbles. âI do know you better than that.â When you look at him, he has a wan smile on his lips. âWhich is why Iâm going to trust your judgement and wear the black shirt. Even if itâs musty from sitting in the back of my closet for so long.â
âOh, shut up,â you huff, walking over to him and grabbing the cloth out of his hand. âIâm sure itâs not that bad.â
He only raises a single eyebrow at you.
Thatâs what prompts you to sniff at it. At his goddamn shirt. Like youâre one of those police dogs they use to find missing people.
It⊠doesnât smell unpleasant. A little bit musty, like Mingyu said, but that can be attributed to him not wearing it often. Mostly, it smells of faint fabric softener and deodorantâand underneath it all, a scent that is solely Mingyuâs. (Pine and citrus and lavender, all mixed together, in a way that only Mingyu can pull off.)
âIt smells fine,â you say, shoving it into Mingyuâs chest. âYouâre being dramatic.â
âIâm not the one who grabbed it and shoved my face into it,â he says, âso whoâs the real dramatic one here?â
âI didnât shove my face into it!â You swat at his shoulder, but he laughs and dodges, eyes twinkling with playfulness.
âIf you say so,â he returns, still chuckling to himself.
âWhen is this event?âÂ
âTomorrow evening,â he answers.
âBoth of us wonât be at home then,â you say, and he raises an eyebrow. âI⊠have a date tomorrow,â you explain, and regret it almost instantly. Why are you even telling him that? He doesnât need to know.
âOh,â is all he says, followed by a quieter, âHave fun.â
EIGHT
Seokmin picks you up at exactly six oâclock, wearing a loose button down shirt and slacks, and his hair styled carefully. He perks up as soon as you wave at him, jogging over to you with a smile.
âHey,â he greets you. âYou look good.â
You return his smile, tugging at the edge of your blouse and smoothing out your skirt. âThank you. So do you.â
Seokminâs grin brightens, which you didnât even think was possible. âThanks,â he says, and then gently takes hold of your elbow. âSo⊠the plan for today is to take you out for dinner, and then a movie. How does that sound?â
âIt sounds⊠good,â you say, letting him lead the way. Itâs basic, yes, but youâre a firm believer in clichĂ©sâthereâs a reason they become popular, after all.
He doesnât stop talking, and neither do you. Throughout the entire half an hour dinner in some hole-in-the-wall diner that Seokmin discovered a month ago and serves the best blue lemonade mojitos youâve ever tasted, and the entire two hour movie thatâs way too boring for you to focus on the screen anyway, you and your co-worker keep up an endless stream of banter and silly anecdotes and you find yourself enjoying it more than you thought you would.
Itâs refreshing, and when you and Seokmin finally make the walk back to your apartment, you find it difficult to let go of his hand. He pulls you to a stop in front of the building, rubbing his thumb gently across the back of your hand.Â
His smile is as bright as ever, albeit tinged with slight disappointment. âSo. Iâll see you on Monday, yeah?â
âYeah,â you confirm, nodding. âThank you for today, Seokmin. I had a lot of fun.â
âMe too,â he returns. âListen, Iââ
Heâs interrupted by someone stumbling across the sidewalkânot someone, you realise. Itâs two people, tightly coiled around each other in a manner that is entirely indecent for the public eye. But as they trip around one anotherâstill holding each other tightlyâyour heart sinks deep into the pit of your stomach.
One of them is Mingyu.
The other person is some girl, hair falling loosely across her face, Mingyuâs fingers tangled into her tresses, while his other hand bunches up the material of her dress at her waist. They kiss and kiss and kiss, and you donât tear your eyes away until Seokmin makes a noise of disgust.
He turns around, blocking your view of them and takes both your hands in his. âI⊠Iâll call you. Okay?â
You nod numbly. âOkay.â
Seokmin leaves with a bright smile and a lingering kiss on your cheek. You plaster a smile onto your lips until he moves out of your line of sight, after which you begin the arduous trek back to yourâMingyuâsâapartment. Normally, the three floors you climb arenât much of a strenuous task; tonight, however, every step you take makes you feel like your legs are made of lead.Â
You fumble in your purse for your key, the image of Mingyu kissing that girl not leaving your mind. Itâs not supposed to hurt, youâre not supposed to be bothered by it. But it stings, like the biting cold on a freezing winter morning, making your fingers stiff and your ears chilly.
You hear footsteps right when you twist the key into the lock.
The last thing you see before you enter the apartment is Mingyu clambering up the staircase, clearly drunk but surprisingly upright. He has a lipstick stain leading from the corner of his mouth to his cheek, his hair is tousledâno doubt from someone running their hands through his silky locksâand his shirt is untucked and wrinkled.
He opens his mouth to say something, but you grab the door handle and step inside, because the last thing you want to confront is the fact that your feelings for Kim Mingyu might not be as forgotten as you believe.
Which is fine, all things considered, except Kim Mingyu doesnât give a damn.
You let the door slam shut behind you before Mingyu can get in. Technically, itâs his house. Technically, heâs the one who has the right to lock you out.
Technically, youâre acting like a child throwing a tantrum, and technically, Mingyu is allowed to kiss whomever the fuck he wants.Â
You wish Jihyo was here. She would ground you, make you see everything calmly and rationally. But sheâs been having boy problems of her own (Jeong Jaehyun, who is decidedly not as romantic as Jihyo was led to believe), and the last thing you want is to dump your boy problems on her.
Besides, itâs no big deal. Right?
Mingyu lives here. He should have his own copy of the keys. Heâs also drunk. (Drunk and half-laid, your mind helpfully reminds.)
Before you start overthinking about letting the door close behind you, you decide that what you really need is a warm shower. So you let your feet lead you to the bathroom directly, and donât allow thoughts of ex-boyfriends and overly friendly co-workers to enter your brain.
You donât hear the sound of keys turning in the lock the entire night, but you shove down the guilt that bubbles up your throat. Itâs Mingyuâs fault for not carrying them with him wherever he goes; youâre not his caretaker, anyway.Â
Your phone pings with a text message from Seokmin, and you pick it up.
(19:47) Seokmin: I had a great time today. Thanks for coming with me :)Â
Despite the fact that you only have a towel wrapped around your body, and the fact that your hair is dripping wet, you feel a tingling warmth creep up your chest.Â
NINE
Monday is a horrible day.
You woke up half an hour later than usual, which led to you rushing through your morning routine. Your clothes arenât ironed, which is fine usually, but the shirt you pick doesnât tuck in quite right and you donât have the time to change it. You almost tripped over the curb in your rush to get to work and nearly spilled a cup of coffeeâwhich is far too sweet for your liking, due to the dollop of sugar you added by accidentâall over yourself. Your manager, Choi Seungcheol, doesnât approve of the project portfolio you compiled, and the deadline is fast approaching, which means more late nights for you.
And to top it all off, your car engine wonât fucking start.
Youâre really not in the mood for Seokmin and his exuberant enthusiasm, which is something he probably catches onto, considering the fact that he stands silently next to you, waiting for you to finish cursing the piece of metal you call a car. Once youâre done resisting the urge to burn down the automobile, Seokmin places a placating hand on your shoulder.
âHey, itâs okay,â he soothes, training a concerned gaze over your figure. âI can drop you back home.â
âNo, itâs fine,â you mutter sullenly. âIâll just call a cab or something.â
âY/N, please. Itâs no trouble.â He pauses, and you glance at him, at the sympathetic crease of his forehead and the genuinity reflected in his eyes. Itâs touching, and Seokmin flashes you a small smile. âI was gonna head over that way anywayâI wanted to get some stuff from that bakery we went to.â
âIââ You hesitate, and he takes the chance to slide in.
âYou call the mechanic. Iâll wait for you in my car, okay?â
He scurries away, leaving you biting your lip and staring at your phone. You should probably call Mingyu; he can help. Knowing him, he would probably want to help, regardless of who was asking him. Instead, you search up the nearest mechanic shop and dial in their number, giving them the details of where you are. They arrive a couple of minutes later, and you watch as they hook your car onto their big tow truck and drive away.
Seokmin waves you over to his car, a sleek Hyundai that's probably a few years old but still looks brand new. He opens the door to the passenger seat with a smile before grabbing the stack of folders you had kept clutched to your chest. You let him take them. Youâre far too tired to argue.
Briefly, your mind wanders to Mingyuâwhat he would do if you had told him. Probably run all the way here, your brain supplies, prompting a wry smile to form on your lips. You press them together when you think of Mingyu with that girl immediately afterwards.
The drive to your house is silent, only the rumble of Seokminâs car and the soft noise of some interview playing on the radio filling the silence. He pulls to a stop near your apartment, bundles up your work folders in his arms and gestures for you to lead the way to your flat.Â
The door swings open before you get the chance to pull out your key. Mingyu stands opposite you, dishevelledâjust woken up from a nap, it seems. His mouth parts when he sees Seokmin standing behind you.
âWhoâs this?â he asks by way of greeting.
You shift uncomfortably, wanting to say something, but the words stick to your throat like youâve swallowed chewing gum. Seokmin reaches out from next to you, and you donât need to see him to know heâs positively beaming.
âHi, Iâm Seokmin,â he says. âI work with Y/N.â
Mingyu shakes his hand, eyes roaming quizzically between you and Seokmin. âNice to meet you,â he says distractedly. âIâm Mingyu, Y/Nâs⊠roommate. And exââ
âCome on in, Seokmin.â You glare at Mingyu. He only raises an eyebrow in retaliation. Seokmin coughs slightly, blows out a puff of air, and follows you inside.
âYou can justâŠâ You wave your hand around vaguely. Gritting your teeth does nothing to bring you out of your haze. It only exacerbates it.
âDid something happen?â Mingyu moves aside, but you feel his eyes on the back of your neck.
âY/Nâs car broke down,â Seokmin supplies. âItâs at the mechanicâs right now, so I offered to drop her back home.â
âI see.â His next statement is directed at you. âYou couldâve called me. I would have come.â
Itâs only then that you turn around and face him. He doesnât move, gaze locked unwaveringly on your hunched-over figure. Itâs almost like heâs challenging you to say something.
âI know that,â is all you say, voice low.
Mingyu nods. âGood.â
You avert your attention to Seokmin. He appears lost, gaping at both of you as though he canât quite catch onto whatâs going on. âLetâs go to my room, Seokmin. You can leave my stuff there.â
âOkay.â Seokmin nods, giving Mingyu a hesitant smile. âIt was nice meeting you, Mingyu.â
âYou too.â
Itâs a tiny exchange, but itâs enough to cause a fissure inside your heart. Seokmin is always so nice. He gives out niceness like heâs handing out free candy to toddlers. The only time youâve ever seen him get remotely angry was when another co-worker of yours forgot a pen drive containing a crucial presentation to an important clientâeven then, all he did was level a glare at her before calmly asking for a backup drive to be brought.
Mingyu, on the other hand, is like a burning ember. Calm one minute, and angry the nextâand itâs the reason you love him, but itâs also the reason you broke things off. You and Mingyu are far too similar, hot-headed and careless to a fault, like two candle flames competing to see who can burn their wick the fastest. You didnât burn the wick. You ended up burning each other instead. Let it not be said that playing with fire isnât one of your specialties.
Seokmin lets out a breath that sounds like a huff and a sigh simultaneously as soon as he enters your room. âYou can leave the stuff here,â you say, pointing at your desk.
He obliges, carefully placing the stack on the table. âThatâs your roommate, huh? Yâknow, when you said that you were living with someone you didnât like, I didnât think you meant your ex-boyfriend.â
You look away, biting the inside of your cheek. âItâs⊠difficult. I needed a place to live and he was the only person who offered on short notice. It just happened.â
Seokmin nods understandingly, lips pursed in thought. âHe seems like a nice guy.â
âHe is,â you agree. âOne of the nicest people I know.â
âYeah?â Your co-worker lifts one corner of his lips in an amused half-smile. âWhat does that make me?â
The answer is on the tip of your tongue. You know Seokmin is expecting it. Hell, youâre expecting the words to just come out. The nicest guy of them all. Thatâs all you have to say.
âYouâre⊠Lee Seokmin.âÂ
The words are flat on your tongue. Seokminâs expression fallsâjust the tiniest bit, a crack in the foundationâbut you feel a terrible weight in your stomach, pulling you down, down, down until your head sinks below the surface of the metaphorical waves and the water erases your existence.Â
Seokmin is a nice guyâyou know that, and youâve reiterated it so many times. The only thing stopping you from being in a proper relationship with him is your ex-boyfriend, only separated from you by a wooden door and cement walls. Mingyu doesnât like you anymore, not in the way he used to, and itâs clearly time for you to stop dwelling on what you had.
You swallow, looking at Seokmin directly. âAndâŠâ You take a step closer to him. âI consider myself lucky to have met you.â
Seokmin looks at you, his gaze unsteady, but he takes one of your hands in his. âYeah?â His throat bobs when he speaks, and thatâs how you know heâs nervous.
âYeah,â you confirm, letting his fingers slip in between yours.Â
He shuffles closer to you, and you can smell his woody cologne intermingled with sweat. You can count the moles on his face, see your reflection in his pupils.Â
âY/N, I really want to kissââ
Thereâs a knock on your door, and you and Seokmin jump away from each other like a pair of schoolchildren getting caught doing something youâre not supposed to. Seokmin looks down at his feet; you clear your throat before letting out a hoarse, âYes?â
âYou left your phone outside,â Mingyu calls. âThe mechanic just called.â
âOh, um. Iâll be right there.â You turn back to Seokmin, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Of all possible times for Mingyu to be a cockblocker, why now? âS-sorry about that.â
âNo, itâsâyouâre fine,â he stammers out, clearly as out of it as you are. âI should probably leave too, I still need to stop by the bakery.â
âOh, yeah!â you say. âI forgot. Do you want me to come with you?â
âItâs alright,â he says. âItâs getting dark outside and you need to get some rest. Iâll see you tomorrow, âkay?â
âOkay,â you murmur. âThank you for today, Seokmin. I donât know what I wouldâve done without you.â
âCursed your car to oblivion, probably,â he teases.
You flush, heat creeping up the back of your neck and ears. âThatâyou didnât have to see that.â
âI thought it was cute,â he returns easily, corners of his lips twitching.Â
Against your will, your lips twitch upwards too. âOkay, okay, I get it.â
Seokmin opens your door, and you follow him out of your room. He gives Mingyu a grin, says, âSee you around,â and lets you close the door behind him.Â
Mingyu crosses his arms over his chest. You glance at him. His eyebrows are knotted together, lips pressed into a stoic line. You bite the inside of your cheek, suddenly feeling awkward.
âHey,â he begins, voice soft, âis that⊠your boyfriend?â
You raise your eyebrows. âDoes it matter?â
He huffs, shifting from one foot to the other. âYesâno. No, it doesnât matter. I was just curious, okay?â
You open your mouth, then close it, at a loss for words. Are you and Seokmin together? Not really. Both of you havenât done or said anything to define your relationshipâif there is one in the romantic sense, at least. Seokmin wanted to kiss you, but Mingyu interrupted before anything could even happenâitâs your irritation at the day being shitty, and Mingyu being an asshole after everything he did that makes you roll your eyes at him and snap at him. âItâs none of your business.â
Mingyuâs face turns stony, a hardness to his features that youâve only seen a few times beforeâit was directed at you the last time, too. âOkay. Fine. Sorry I asked.â
âAre you?â you retort, and before he can say anything to retaliate, you storm back into your room and lock the door.
Your heart feels like itâs been split into two, one half yearning for the comfort and familiarity that comes with still liking Mingyu, and the other excited to explore what Seokmin could offer youâand what he already has offered. But for now, you decide to get some sleep. Your heart can wait.
TENÂ
Jihyo is back.
Jihyo is fucking back, and sheâs standing in yourâMingyuâsâliving room, arms wide open and a grin on her lips so wide, her eyes crinkle in the corners. It takes all of your willpower not to launch yourself into her arms. Instead, you slow down, toe your shoes off, let your bag drop to the floor, and then launch yourself into her arms.
She laughs at your overzealous demeanour, and you giggle into her hair. God, youâd missed her. Texting every day and video calling every weekend can only do so much, and itâs nothing compared to seeing her in person.
âHi,â she says, pulling back enough to escape your cage-like hold around her body.
âHi,â you greet back, smiling so wide and so hard, you can feel your ears pop. âYouâre back.â
âIâm back.â She confirms your statement by nodding. âOnly for a week, though.â
âAh.â
Your best friend lets out a sheepish chuckle, and you take a step back. Her suitcase is on the floor next to her, and sheâs kept her backpack on the sofa. âAre you gonna stay here?â you ask.
She winces. âNo, there isnât much space here. I booked a room at a hotel nearby. Itâs, like, ten minutes by walk from here and itâs not very expensive either,â she assures.
âOkay,â you say, a little deflated. If Jihyo stayed with you, at least the awkwardness between you and Mingyu might be reduced by a small fraction. Her overbearing nature and ability to make conversation with literally anyone would be a lifesaver, given the situation youâve dug yourself into.
A situation that she knows nothing about.
You havenât had the time to keep Jihyo updated about the latest turn of eventsânot when she was busy juggling a relationship with her sort-of boyfriend, Jeong Jaehyun. She doesnât know about Seokmin, and she doesnât know about your lingering feelings for Mingyu.
âHey, youâre back already.â
Speak of the devil.Â
You turn around and find Mingyu leaning against the doorway, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. You feel your breath hitch. He continues, âI guess Jihyo already beat me to it, huh?â
âYou knew she was coming?â you ask him, almost accusatory.Â
âYou didnât tell her?â Jihyo echos, a curious tinge to her tone.
He lifts his shoulder in a half-shrug, lips twitching with the beginnings of a smile. âWanted to surprise you, thatâs all.â
Against your will, you find yourself grinning at him. Mingyu dissolves in the slightestâa small hint of surpriseâbefore he grins back at you, teeth flashing and eyes crinkling. Jihyo lets out a small huff from next to you, but you know nothing can put a damper on your mood right now. Not even your resurfaced feelings for Mingyu, nor your newfound ones for Seokmin.
Your best friend squeezes your arm. âI have some time before I need to check in at the hotel. Do you wanna check out our old place?â
You turn to her and nod. The prospect of going back to the place where you created cherished memories with someone so dear to you is enticing; then you remember your car is still at the mechanicâs. âMy car is out of commission.â
Jihyo only turns and stares at Mingyu. He sighs resignedly, pushing himself off the doorway and heading inside his room. âLet me grab my keys.â
âMight as well stop for ice cream along the way,â Jihyo calls out gleefully to his retreating back.Â
You gulp. This⊠might not be a good idea. If Mingyu tags along with you, this would be the first time since last week where youâre speaking to him normally, making conversation that isnât just along the lines of âDid you do the laundry?â or âI bought some vegetablesâ. Of course, if you told Jihyo what happened, she would immediately make sure Mingyu doesnât come. You chew on your bottom lip, but before you can come to a decision, Mingyu emerges from his bedroom, car keys dangling off his fingers.
âReady?â he asks.
Jihyo grabs onto your arm, excitement so visible on her face that it prompts the tension in your own features to melt away. You let yourself get carried away by her giddiness, not noticing the fond glances the only male in the group keeps giving you whenever heâs sure youâre not looking. If youâd met his eyes once throughout the drive to your old place, youâd see the way his eyes still twinkle at you with the same intensity as they did months ago, but youâre too busy catching up with Jihyo to notice.
Mingyu pulls to a stop in front of your old apartment buildingâa dilapidated structure thatâs not half as modern as the current building you stay in. At least the elevator is still functioning; you purse your lips to contain your laugh when Mingyu looks at it, eyebrows raised in visible astonishment. Jihyo grips your hand tightly when you reach your floor. You tighten your hold on her hand as well, feeling a sudden burst of emotion erupt inside your chest like lava escaping from a volcano.
You and Jihyo round the corner to the apartment that used to be yours, Mingyu following closely. The door is the same dull brown it was back then as well, but someone has put in the effort to redo the varnish. Thereâs a potted fern next to it as well.Â
You let out a shuddering breath. Jihyo wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close; you arenât sure if itâs just the wind rattling through the open window, but you hear something like a sniffle.
This is the place you lived in when you had your first boyfriend, when you had your first heartbreak, when you cried your lungs out at some stupid TV show that you were invested in at the time but canât possibly remember the name of now. This is the place where you and Jihyo bonded over crappy supermarket deals and made a mess of the kitchen whenever you tried to learn how to cook something new.
This is the place where you first met Kim Mingyu.
You tilt your head at him, watch as he stares resolutely ahead of him, like if glares at it strongly enough, he can bore two holes straight through the wood. Eventually, his eyes land on yours.
His lips part but no words come out. He offers you a small smile instead, one so tender and heart-warming and achingly familiar. You blink, and the moment is gone. Youâre left with the same sense of wistfulness and longing that you always feel around him.Â
Jihyo squeezes your shoulder, eyes shining. âShould we ring the bell?â she asks, and then presses the doorbell before you can respond.
A muffled âComing!â from inside, and the latch is pulled open to reveal a college studentâa few years younger than you, perhaps, with sleep bags underneath his eyes and a cup of coffee clutched to his chest. He looks confusedâas anyone would be, you suppose, when you see a random bunch of strangers standing on your doorstepâbut his expression clears when Jihyo explains who you are and why youâre here.
He says heâs living here with his boyfriend and their pet catâa beautiful Siberian who coils itself around his legs, tail upturnedâand you feel your heart swell with the knowledge that your old haven is being taken care of well. Jihyo consistently badgers him with questions and he answers each one patiently, to his credit.Â
A flicker of uncertainty crosses your mind, however. Does Mingyu not remember this? He was looking for apartments in this building, too, when you met him. Doesnât he remember the old landlady conversing with you? Doesnât he remember the way people constantly asked if you two were together, which is what even prompted him to ask for your number in the first place?Â
Youâre shaken out of your thoughts when you feel a slight pressure on your shoulder. Mingyuâs hand is on your shoulder. Your gaze flits over to him.Â
âSorry,â he mumbles, ducking his head. âThere was a mosquito.â
Heâs lying.Â
He remembers.Â
ELEVEN
âSpill.â
âThe⊠tea?â you ask cautiously, looking at Jihyo. Sheâs holding a steaming mug of tea in her hand.
âYou think youâre so funny.â She rolls her eyes.
âI know I am,â you quip, and she rolls her eyes again, taking a sip of the beverage.
âYouâve been distracted since yesterday,â she states matter-of-factly. âSince we went to our old place.â Her voice quietens, âIs it Mingyu? Did he do something?â
You eye her warily, sitting down on the plush armchair opposite her. âNo,â you say.
âThen what is it? Didâdid you not want me here?â
âNo.â Youâre quick to alleviate her concerns. âOf fucking course I wanted you here. I missed you. So much.â
Your best friend smiles at that, swirling the tea in the mug. âBut somethingâs bothering you.â
â...Yes.â You admit it slowly, playing with your fingers splayed out on your lap. âItâs not important. Youâre here only for a few days, we should do something fun.â
âY/N,â Jihyo says slowly, enunciating every syllable of your name like sheâs speaking to a troublesome child, âif youâre worried about me feeling bad or anything, please donât. I want to help you.â
You wave her away. âYou have your own shit to deal with.â
âWhat, you mean Jaehyun?â She snorts. âIâm over him. I was over him ages ago.â
âAre you sure?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âNothing. Just.â You look down at your feet. âYou really liked him, didnât you?â
Jihyo cocks her head to the side, studying you carefully. âYes. I did. What about it?â
Your shoulder slump, dejectedness seeping into your figure. âHow⊠did you do it?â You glance up at her, note the way she observes you carefully. Your voice is almost pleading when you continue, âHow did you get over him?â
Your best friendâs expression clears, comprehension dawning on her face. She places her mug down, leaning forward and clasping your hand with hers. âItâs Mingyu, isnât it?â
You shake your head miserably. âNot just him.â
âThereâs someone else?â She doesnât sound surprised, only intrigued and concerned.
You take a deep breath, lock gazes with herâand everything comes spilling out of your mouth like the tide receding into the ocean. You tell her everything, about Mingyu and Seokmin and how conflicted they make you feel; how one is like the living personification of sunlight on a gloomy day, and the other reminds you of clouds providing shade on a hot afternoon. You tell her about how guilty you feel, as though youâre leading Seokmin to believe that youâre ready for a committed relationship when a part of your heart still belongs to Mingyu. You speak until the words end up garbled and slurred, and your breathing turns heavy and salt water streaks across your cheeks, your best friend rubbing them away with the pad of her thumb.
When you donât know what to say, Jihyo pulls you into a hugâitâs an awkward position, your elbows locked around her arms while your neck is bent at an odd angle, but itâs comforting, and you let your eyes close tiredly.Â
âY/N,â she says, rubbing her thumb on your shoulder soothingly. âI know itâs hard for you to decide, but you have to know: What do you want?â
The question makes you contemplate. What do you want?Â
âI donât know,â is all you can get out, slumping further into her arms.
She hums softly. âBut youâll figure it out. I know you will.â
Will you? Youâre not so sure. Maybe when the time is right. But for now, you rest your chin on your best friendâs shoulder and let her rub circles onto your skin.
You pull back when the position becomes too uncomfortableâyou can already feel a crick in your neckâand Jihyo wraps her fingers around her discarded mug. She raises it in a half-hearted toast. âTo sexy girls who donât need men in their lives.â
You giggle, rubbing your eyes. âMen are pieces of shit, anyway.â
âDamn right they are,â she croons, falling dramatically back onto the couch. âWe should just get married instead.â
âIf you propose to me the right way, maybe Iâll consider it.â
Jihyo grins at you, and itâs infectious enough to make you grin back at her. âConsider it done,â she says. âI have a ring in my nightstand drawer with your name written on it.â
âIf itâs not pure diamond, I wonât accept.â
âTsk. So greedy.â
TWELVE
Introducing Seokmin to Jihyo was not a part of your agenda for the week.
But itâs Seokmin and itâs Jihyo, so really, what else did you expect? Both of them integrated themselves seamlessly into your life, and they have no plans of leaving anytime soon. Might as well get the introductions over with.
Ironically, it happens when you go to collect your car from the mechanicâs, and once theyâve exchanged names and small talk, Jihyo and Seokmin are inseparable. The former regals him with tales of your college shenanigans, while the latter listens enthusiastically, eyes flitting between you both amusedly.
âOkay, thatâs enough,â you hurriedly interrupt the conversation, right before Jihyo can go into the messy details of how you wanted to marry the toilet when you were drunk once and Mingyu had to physically carry you out of the house because you were convinced the white ceramic was proposing to you.
âYou and Mingyu were together for a long time, huh?â Seokmin asks you quietly, once Jihyo is finished with her sulking at you interrupting her story. Sheâs at the side, conversing with someone on the phone, leaving you and your co-worker alone in front of your car.
Youâre so startled by the question, you nearly drop your keys. âIâwhy do you ask?âÂ
Seokmin licks his lips, a seriousness to his figure that you havenât witnessed many times before. âJust⊠curious, I suppose.â
You look down once, see how heâs twisted his fingers togetherâeven the Lee Seokmin gets nervous, after allâand look back up at him. âYes,â you admit softly, voice hitching slightly, âwe were. We⊠were in love, I guess you could say.â
Heâs silent for a minute, tongue darting out to lick his lips again. âAnd now?â
âI donât know, Seokmin,â you answer him honestly. Your heart flutters inside your chest, while your stomach twists into tight knotsâtwo reactions you didnât think would go hand-in-hand, yet here you are, leaving your heart bare for Seokmin to take while gatekeeping a part of it to yourself.
He raises his head, warm eyes capturing yours. You see the smallest flicker of hope and sadness, two thin wisps of emotion dancing in his eyesâbut even then, his lips are turned upwards, because itâs Lee Seokmin.Â
âBut you could try?â he asks, so softly you can barely catch the words.
You push down the emotions that threaten to swallow you whole, swirling around your entire body like the blood that flows through your veins. âI donât know,â you say again, no less honest than the first time.
He opens his mouth, but Jihyo walks back to you both, mouth downturned. âMy company said they need me back as soon as possible.â She says it calmly, but disappointment and bitterness seep into her voice.
For a moment, you freeze, and then ask, âWhen do you need to leave?â
âTomorrow,â she answers with an apologetic shrug of her shoulders. âTheyâve already booked the flight.â
âOkay.â You nod. âIâll drop you to the airport.â
âIâll come with,â Seokmin chimes in, and adds, in true Seokmin fashion, âMake sure Y/N doesnât drive us all into a ditch or something.â
You shove his shoulder, muttering an âassholeâ under your breath, and his smile only widens. Jihyo glances in between you both, lower lip caught between her teeth, before she sucks in a breath and smiles. âGood to know my best friend is in good hands.â
âThe best hands, actually,â Seokmin teasingly corrects.Â
You roll your eyes at the two of them. âCan we go home now, or not?â
âHome it is,â Jihyo agrees, âbut first, I demand Taco Bell.â
âFine,â you concede, letting her grab the keys from your outstretched palm.Â
Seokmin grabs your hand once she clambers into your fixed car. His palm is broad, skin warm, and his fingers wrap around yours with ease. He squeezes your hand once, gently, and it feels like a promise and a farewell at the same time.
Seokmin asks you out again three days after Jihyo leaves.Â
This time, he takes you out to an Italian restaurant. Heâs dressed up in a suit and a bowtieâand actual blue velvet bowtie that sits snugly at the hollow of his neckâand heâs the perfect gentleman, pulling your chair out for you and pouring champagne into your glass like a professional. (When you compliment him on his drink-pouring skills, he just mutters bashfully about how his dad taught him that to please a lady, you need to be good at pouring drinks; it does nothing to ease the quickening pace of your heart.)
Lee Seokmin compliments your dress, says that that specific shade of pink looks beautiful on you. He recommends you try out their vegetable lasagne, says itâs one of the dishes the restaurant is famous for. He laughs about his favourite show, tells you he would love to rewatch it with you someday. He asks if you like gardens because his neighbour is trying to convince him to grow a rosebush outside his house, but he canât look after plants even if his life depended on it. He wants to go out for ice cream afterwards, but the night is too chilly for the cold dessert so you opt against it.
Throughout, you play someone whoâs on her first date, who thinks this is all there is and everything sheâs been dreaming of has come true.
You would like to think youâre a good actor.
Kim Mingyu has seen you in nothing but sweatpants and old t-shirts and he used to whisper praises against your skin, flushed with sweat and sweet words. He ate the shitty lasagne you made without complaining, no matter how bad it tasted. He watched whatever was playing on television with you, just because he enjoyed your company and wanted to be wherever you were. Heâs not particularly good with plants, but he has a little succulent named Spurt, making sure it gets enough sunlight and water. He likes mint chocolate ice cream, and would defend the flavour with his life.
Kim Mingyu and Lee Seokmin: Two sides of the same coin.
Jihyoâs question resonates in your mind as you and Seokmin walk back to your car.
What do you want?
As you near your vehicle, Seokmin puts a gentle hand on your arm. âY/N,â is all he says, and you hate the way your chest clenches at thatâjust because he said your name.
âDid you have fun today?â he continues, eyes roaming over your features like heâs committing you to memory. Like a soldier leaving his wife before he heads out to the frontlines.
âI did, Seokmin. I really did.â You place your hand over his, tracing the veins on the back of his hand, pressing lightly on his knuckles; you need him to know that you truly enjoyed todayâdesperate for him to know, because itâs the least you can do for him after everything heâs done for you.
âGood,â he says. âIâI had fun today with you, too. I always have fun when Iâm with you, Y/N.â
He bends down. You can feel his breath fan out on the shell of your ear and it makes you shiver. He turns his head, and his lips brush against your cheek. A small, soft farewell.Â
âIâm sorry I couldnâtââ you begin, feeling your voice begin to wobble.
âDonât be sorry,â Seokmin whispers, but he sounds firm. âWeâre still friends.â
Your heart plummets deep, deep down, a free fall that isnât orchestrated by gravity. You think you know the answer to Jihyoâs question now.
âThank you,â you whisper back to Seokmin.
THIRTEEN
The light is on when you enter the apartment. Mingyuâs figure lies hunched on the sofa, head in his hands, a half-empty beer can next to him. You quickly shuck off your heels and drop your purse onto the shoe rack.
Your ex-boyfriend looks at you when pad over to the living room. âYouâre back.â He sounds hoarse, tired.Â
âHave you been drinking?â you say in return, raising an eyebrow.Â
Mingyu glances at the can in his hand then back at you. âYeah. Long day.â
âMe too,â you admit quietly.
Perhaps itâs the quiet ambience of your shared homeâsilent, despite the noise of the city outsideâthat compels him; or maybe itâs the idea of coming home to someone you think you know better than the back of your own hand. Either way, when Mingyu pats the cushion beside him, your feet move automatically and you sit down, letting out a weary sigh.
Itâs quiet, but not in the awkward sense. Not like back then, when Mingyu thought you and Seokmin were dating. Not even when you visited your old apartment. Exhaustion makes its home in your bones, and you suspect itâs taken over Mingyu too; thereâs no way this shared piece of night can be so comfortable otherwise.
âWant some?â he asks after a few minutes.
âNo thanks.â
Mingyu shrugs and puts the can down on the coffee table. âWanna talk about it?â He leans back against the sofa, arms crossed behind his head.
âNo,â you answer, and then, âDo you?â
âNo.â He clears his throat, glancing sideways at you. âWere you with⊠Seokmin?â
â...Yes.â
You donât have to look at Mingyu to know heâs clenching his jaw. Itâs a pure rush of adrenaline that makes you ask, âWhy does it bother you so much whenever Iâm with him?â
Silence.
You turn your head, cheek brushing against the back of the sofa. Mingyuâs eyes are closed, hair falling in loose strands around his forehead and neck. You wonder what heâs thinking.
His answer excites youâin the rawest form possible. Anticipation builds up in your chest, threatens to explode through your windpipe. You donât know what heâs thinking, but when he opens his eyes and meets your gaze, there is nothing you can do to stop your heart from rabbiting inside your rib cage.
âIt doesnât,â he says finally, an air of decisiveness about him.
For the second time that night, your heart plummets, and you tear your eyes off him. âOkay,â you say. âThat is, um, good information to have.â
âIsnât he your boyfriend?âÂ
âHow does it matter to you?â
Mingyu crosses and uncrosses his ankles, this time staring resolutely at the floor. âI donât know. It just does.â
You purse your lips. He isnât being fair to you. âWhat about you?â you demand. âWhat about that girl you almost brought back home, huh?â
His mouth twitches. âYou saw that.â Itâs not a question, itâs a statement.
âIâm not blind, Mingyu,â you retort.
Your roommate lets out a sardonic chuckle at that, slowly dragging his eyes up. âI highly doubt that.â
âWhat do you mean?â You scowl at him, feeling your chest begin to heave. âYouâyouâre like some kind of a riddle, Mingyu. I can never tell what you mean by anything, and itâs even worse now that youâre drunk andââ
âIâm not drunk, Y/N,â he interrupts.Â
âI donât care if youâre drunk or notââ you donât realise your voice is caving in, growing softer and softer by the secondâ âstop saying things you donât mean.â
âI want to kiss you,â he says finally. âI want to kiss you and I may be slightly drunk, but I donât fucking care. And I mean it.â
You swallow, blood pounding through your veins. âSay that again.â
âWhat?â he says, sounding genuinely confused. His gaze never leaves your face, every ounce of earnestness and honesty written plainly on his features.
âSay it again,â you repeat.
âI wantââ
You surge forward, capturing his lips with yours, pressing them firmly against his even when he lets out a muffled gasp. He doesnât kiss back immediately, but his hands find their way to your waist, gripping tightly and crumpling the flimsy material of your dress. He kisses you back then, mouth jutting insistently into yours, tongue sliding against your lower lip. You arch your back, scramble to find some balance in this precarious position, and your hands end up tangled in his hair. He tastes like beer and aftershave and something thatâs so distinctly Mingyu, you want more.
You pull away when air becomes a necessity, blinking even as Mingyuâs arms pull you closer to him.
âThis isnât over,â you manage to get out in between huffed breaths.
âTomorrow,â he promises, but his eyes are glazed. He looks at you like a man starved, and tilts his head and kisses you again, kisses you like he might never see you again.Â
You let him. Itâs Kim Mingyu, after all, and youâve always been a little weak for him.
You donât think of Seokmin; donât let him come out of the tiny pocket youâve preserved in your heart just for him. Instead, you wrap your arms around your ex-boyfriendâs neck, leaning into his chest and kissing him back with equal fervour, letting him know that you need him as much as he needs you.
God, youâd missed him. Way more than you thought. Youâve memorised his touch, branded it into your mind, but it still feels new. Like the first time you were with him, kissing like two teenagers with reckless abandon.Â
His cold fingers find their way underneath your waist, hitching up the loose material of your dress around your thighs. You kneel on the couch cushions in front of him, almost straddling his lap but not quite. His fingers brush against your sides in a way that sends shivers down your spine.
He nips at your lip, asking for entrance to your mouth to which you accept, parting your lips enough for him to get a taste. As he moves his tongue around yours, exploring your mouth in every way possible, you canât contain the slight whimper that escapes your throat.Â
Mingyu groans, leaning his weight onto you as you both start moving together until youâre laid flat against the couch. Heâs impatient, you can tell; his fingers dig into your skin, and he groans again when you bite down gently on his lower lip. He pulls back and moves downwards, kissing your jaw and behind your ear, suckling gently on a sensitive bit of skin with expertise. âTell me to stop,â he says, whispering the words against your skin.
All you do is moan in response, rubbing your thighs together to get some friction with the way heâs moving his mouth against your skin.Â
âTell me to stop,â he says again, more firmly this time.
âShut the fuck up, Gyu,â is all you reply with, the nickname falling out of your lips with familiarity.Â
Maybe itâs the use of something that used to be your thingâsomething the two of you shared, the shortened version of his nameâbut hearing it come out of your lips again does things to Mingyu that he isnât sure heâd ever be able to put into words for you. Trailing his movements down to your neck, he stops at your chest, a small smile spreading on his face. âForgot how much I loved it when you called me that.â
Looking down at him, you hadnât realised heâs moved further down your body and his fingers trace the edges of your underwear. Your dress is bunched up above your thighs, skin exposed to the cool air. âGonna make you feel so good,â he mumbles, pressing a tiny kiss to the inside of your thighs. He toys with the elastic of the waistband, chuckling when you shoot him an irritated glare.
He stares down at your clothed core, mouth watering while his hands move faster than you can comprehend. It takes him two seconds to hook his slender fingers underneath the waistband of your panties before he pulls them down to your ankles and tosses them onto the coffee table.Â
You feel a wave of shyness overcome youâwith the way heâs looking at you, desperate for your tasteâand you try to close your legs, before his hands land on your thighs, halting your actions. âSo pretty,â he murmurs. âI want to see all of you.â
Heat burns your cheeks and flows through your body. You turn your head to avoid his burning gaze as you feel him part your legs. He readjusts himself, laying as flat and comfortably as he can with what little space he has on the couch until heâs face-to-face with where you need him most. He tests the waters, leaning in with his tongue out, letting it graze your clit. You stifle a moan, biting your lip so hard, you think it might bleed.
He smiles, loving how youâre holding back. âSo quiet, baby. Wanna remember how I used to make you feel.â Laying his tongue flat against your clit, he gives you slow and soft strokesâso gentle that it drives you insane.Â
âYouâre suchâsuch a tease,â you gasp out, right when he swirls his tongue around the nub.
Mingyu only raises an eyebrow at that. âYou havenât changed.â But all the same, any plans he had to be patient with you go straight out the window; he wraps his arms around your thighs to pull you down further to his face. The sudden pull surprises you, and you gasp a little while searching for something to grab onto. He indulges in your pussy, tongue exploring your pulsating hole that clenches around everything and nothing all at once. He relishes in the way you feel on his tongue, groaning against your folds while bringing a hand up and rubbing his thumb on your neglected clit.Â
Youâre a mess under his touch, squirming on the sofa, loud groans and soft mewls escaping your lips wantonly. Your fingers find their way into his soft locks, pulling gently on his hair and scratching against his scalp. He lets out a moan against your pussy, lapping at your juices as if youâre his last source of water. âF-fuck, Gyu, âm gonnaââ a gaspâ ââm gonna cum.â
This only encourages him to work his mouth harder, wanting to watch you fall apart just by his mouth alone. You tug harder at his hair, moans growing louder and more desperate by the second, and your thighs shudder around his head, feeling the rush of your high come so close, you arenât prepared for it.
With two final sucks to your clit, you come undone on his tongue followed by a string of moans with broken pieces of his name somewhere in between. Mingyu looks up at you with bright eyes and a satisfied grin, as if he didnât just eat out your pussy like he would never get the chance to again. The mixture of saliva and your juices dripping down his chin makes your eyes widen even as you squint down at him.Â
With careful, deliberate motions, he moves away from you, the grin on his face replaced by a more serious expression. You sit up, leaning on your elbows. The aftermath of your passionate actions catches up to you; reaching over, you snatch your panties from the coffee table and swing your legs over. Throughout, Mingyu doesnât say anything. He only watches, in that quiet, observant way of his, swiping at his mouth and chin with a tissue he grabbed from the tissue box next to the couch.
You glance at him. Is he going to say something? Or is he going to let you walk away again, with all the words you want to say to him lying on the tip of your tongue, always there but never released?
âY/N.â He scrambles to his feet when you stand up, clutching your underwear in one hand and adjusting your dress with the other. He sounds⊠uncertain. Completely unlike the Mingyu who cockily asked you if Seokmin was your boyfriend, or who joked around with Jihyo like it was second nature to him.
You bite your lip. âYes?â
âDo you⊠do you want anything? Water?âÂ
You melt a little at his words like an ice cream left out for too long. Kim Mingyu, always so kind, always so caringâyou know that better than anyone.Â
He can be cruel too, in the way he chips away at your already broken heart. He doesnât know it but he doesâlift your hopes only to let it all crumble down. Like how he broke the promises you made to each other, and how you broke the words youâd sworn to say to him alone.
It hits you again, how you and Mingyu were meant to be, and how lonely it was when he left. You wonder if he feels the same wayâdid he spend sleepless nights in bed, thinking of you? Did he ever think that if he could travel back in time, heâd do it all over again?
You shake your head no at him. He doesnât say anything after that, but his lips part slightly. He watches you as you walk over to grab your purse and head inside your room.
That night, you donât sleep at allâdespite wrapping yourself up in your Looney Tunes comforter and the comforting weight of your pillow beneath your head that usually puts you to sleep instantly.Â
Instead, it feels like the very first night you and Mingyu broke up all over again.
SIXTEEN
You donât tell anyone about what transpired between you and Mingyu. It remains hidden between you both, a secret neither of you are willing to bring up.
Jihyo is back to work at her new city, now completely devoid of boy problems of any sort, since Jeong Jaehyun has shifted his affections to another co-worker. (âItâs better this way,â she tells you, âhe didnât want a committed relationship, anyway.â You can tell sheâs truly not bothered by it, so you grin and agree.)
Seokmin doesnât come around to your cubicle the way he used to earlier, either. Your days at the office are dreary and boring, now that your co-workerâs sunshine smile isnât there to keep you company. In fact, the only person who still talks to you voluntarily at work is your boss, Seunghcheol, but even then itâs mostly just a sympathetic smile he offers you followed by a new deadline or a project.
You and Mingyu are back to whatever it was you had when you first moved in, before the lasagne fiasco. Not talking to each other, but not not talking to each other either. You swerve around each other in tandem, finding more and more excuses to avoid whatever happened in between you both. He lied when he said he would talk to you about it the next day, after he ate you out on the couch.
You canât blame him completely; youâve made no effort to reach out to him, either.
Weariness seeps into your skin with every passing second. You rub at your already half-closed eyes and hide a yawn behind a closed fist. The letters on your laptop screen swim in front of you. The stack of folders next to it drags a tired sigh out of your lips.
Youâre so tired. Not just physically, but emotionally youâre drained out, all the liveliness sucked out of you like someone vacuumed up the inside of your heart. The lack of sleep is getting to you; the lack of someone to brighten up your days is getting to you more.
If you and Seokmin were still on a talking basis, he would have sauntered over to your desk by now, hands in his pockets and the same question on his lips: âCoffee break?â
Heâs not here now, probably tucked into his corner of the floor. Maybe his smile is directed at someone else. Maybe heâs taking someone else on the daily ritual that you used to consider yours. Maybe itâs time you get out of your fucking swivel chair and get some coffee.
Youâre not doing it alone, of course. No, coffee at the officeâno matter how shitty the machine is and how long the line for the coveted caffeine isâis yours and Seokminâs thing. Besides, he said youâre still friends; itâs time for you to step up.
Stifling another yawn, you blink slowly before pushing yourself off your chair. It occurs to you that you donât know exactly where Seokminâs cubicle isâheâd mentioned it was by Seungcheolâs room once. You decide to start there.
It doesnât take you long to find Seokmin. You walk into himâliterally walk into him. A startled gasp leaves your lips when you collide into someoneâs chest, an apology already on the tip of your tongue.
âAre you okay?â
You blink once. The voice is familiar. You direct your gaze at the person you bumped into.Â
âSeokmin,â you breathe out weakly.
He smiles but it doesnât reach his eyes. âThe one and only.â
âI-Iâm sorry I bumped into you,â you quickly apologise. âI was on myââ
âItâs okay, donât apologise,â he interrupts. âI shouldâve looked at where I was going too.â
âHow⊠have you been?â The question spills out before you notice, and you realise that youâre genuinely concerned about his wellbeing. Youâve missed him, missed his companionship.Â
Seokmin looks briefly surprised that youâve asked him. He clears his throat, once. âOh, um. Iâve been fineâyâknow, the usual. Work, home, sleep and then repeat. Howâhow about you?â
âIâve been better,â you admit. âYou look tired, though.â
He lifts his hand and rubs his cheek with an accompanying embarrassed chuckle. âYou could tell?â
He has bags underneath his eyes. His shoulders sag ever-so slightly. His usually perfectly styled hair isnât as neat as it used to be. You nod. âYou look exhausted.â
âAh.â Another embarrassed chuckle; you can tell he doesnât know how to respond to that.
âCoffee break?â you offer, a small, lopsided smile gracing your lips.
This time, the smile Lee Seokmin gives you lights up his eyes.
SEVENTEEN
âThis is ridiculous!â you call out for the nth time, glaring at the door with as much intensity as you can muster.
âJihyoâs orders!â Seokmin calls back, from outside the room. âI have proof that she asked me to lock you two up in order for you to talk it out.â
Mingyu huffs out a breathless laugh from behind you. Heâs sitting cross-legged on the bed, sheets crumpled and pillow on his lap. You turn around to level your glare at him.
âGive it up,â he advises.
âDonât even.â You pinch the bride of your nose, closing your eyes in exasperation. âThis is all your fault.â
âMy fault? No one told you to tell Seokmin everything!â
âWell, how was I supposed to know he would go and tell Jihyo?â you splutter out, opening your eyes and bringing your hand down. âI didnât even know theyâd exchanged numbers!â
âMight as well get it over with,â Seokminâs voice travels through the barricade once more. âThe sooner the better.â
âI didnât ask you, Seokmin,â you mutter.
âHeâs right, you know.â Mingyu pats the space next to him, inviting you to sit down. âIf Jihyo hadnât forced him to do it, I would have found some way to do it myself.â
âNo, you wouldnât,â you retort. âYouâve been avoiding me since the day weâsince the day we kissed.â
âI would have tried,â he reasons. âBut since youâre here now, can you at least please listen to what I have to say?â
âOh, so now you have things you want to say,â you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest. Regardless, you sit down next to him. Youâre curious, you will admit. This conversation could potentially break your heart, or it could also change the trajectory of your relationship with Mingyu.
Your ex-boyfriend takes a deep breath before beginning.
âThe other day, when I said I wanted to kiss youâI wasnât lying, Y/N. I truly meant it. Iâve wanted to kiss you the minute I laid eyes on you again. I wanted to hold your hand, to take you places around the neighbourhood, to come back home to you.
âI thought we were making progress. I thought we were friends again, and I could somehow win your heart back.â A wry smile crosses his lips. âBut then Seokmin came by, and you both just seemed so close. Heâhe brought back this life in you; your eyes sparkled whenever he was around, and you were always smiling when you were with him. I never saw that after we⊠after you moved in. You were always so jittery with meâunderstandably soâand I⊠I let my jealousy of seeing you with Seokmin get the better of me.
âThat day, when Iââ he pauses, glancing at you; his eyes are imploring, and you sense that heâs laying himself bare for youâ âwhen you saw me kissing that girl, I did it on purpose. To make you jealous. And then I saw the look on your face, and even when I was drunk, I knew Iâd fucked up. So I left her, and I followed you back insideâyou closed the door just as I caught up with you. I called up Minghao, spent the night at his place. I think thatâs when I realised completely that Iâthat I still love you.â
Your breath catches in your throat at his words. Your heart is hammering inside your chest. You canât believe youâre actually hearing these words.
Mingyu swallows. âThatâs what I wanted to tell you. Even after we broke up, even after all the things we said to each otherâsome part of me knew that I shouldnât give up on you. I have loved you throughout. I will continue to love you throughout.â
He looks down, staring at his hands. In that instant, he looks so small. Vulnerable. As if giving his entire heart to you on a silver platter isnât enough. As if heâs giving all of himself to you, mind, body and soul.
You need to tell him that your mind, body and soul have always been his.
âMingyu,â you begin, watching as his eyes travel over to yours uncertainly, âyou absolute fucking idiot.â
His lips twitch up briefly. âWhaââ
âI love you, too, idiot.â The words rush out breathlessly. âI never stopped.â
Mingyuâs eyes widen and his mouth opens imperceptibly. You continue, âI knew this would happen. The minute I stepped foot into your house, I knew I would fall for you all over again.â
You reach out and grip his hand, needing something to tether you against him. âAnd I did.â A watery laugh escapes your mouth. âI fell in love with you all over again.â
A pause, and then Mingyuâs free hand cups your cheek, skin warm against yours. âYouâre joking.â
âIâm not.â
Mingyu smiles at your confessionâa full smile, with his eyes crinkling in the corners and his lips turning upwards. He leans forward. âIâm going to kiss you now.â
You beat him to it, covering the distance between you both with one swift swoop. You capture his lower lip in between yours, hands resting on his shoulders to steady yourself. He kisses you back with equal fervour, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you impossibly closer. You close your eyes and slide your tongue across the seam of his lips, smiling when he lets out a silent groan.Â
He only pulls away once he needs air, but even then he doesnât let you go. He pulls you forward, making you straddle his lap as he kisses your cheeks, your nose, the column of your throat. You relish in his touches, tangling your hands in his hair and tugging gently at the silky strands.
âWe should probably stop,â you whisper, when a particularly sharp nip at your neck elicits a soft moan from you. âSeokminâs standing outside.â
âFuck him,â Mingyu says. He presses another kiss on your jaw, looking up at you like youâve hung up all the stars in the universe.
You roll your eyes affectionately at him. âCâmon. I donât want to scar him for life.â
âWho cares?â
âI care,â you say, slowly getting off his lap. Already you can feel the absence of his warmth.Â
âFine,â he agrees, once you stand up fully and brush yourself off. âI love you.â
Warmth shoots up your chest and onto your cheeks and neck. Your heart swells, and you find yourself grinning involuntarily. âI love you, too.â
âGood.â Mingyu stands up and pecks your cheek. âNow letâs go save Seokmin from his misery.â
(Later, if you find Seokmin with bright pink ears as he pointedly avoids yours and Mingyuâs gaze, thatâs no oneâs business but his.)
EIGHTEEN
Mingyu sucks on a sweet spot right underneath your ear and you can practically hear his smirk when you let out a whine. You fist your hand in the sheets, feeling the soft material crinkle underneath your fingertips.Â
âSuch a tease,â you whisper out.
He lowers his head, nips at your neck and then runs his tongue over the spot, soothing it. âSo youâve mentioned.â
Your retort dies on your lips when he moves lower and lower, pressing open-mouthed kisses on your collarbones and shoulders. You whine again when his fingers find your nipple, pinching the bud lightly in between his thumb and forefingers. He moves lower, breath ghosting over your abdomen and belly button, until he finally comes face to face with your clothed pussy.
He hooks his finger into the waistband of your panties, nails scraping against your skin. You squirm under his touch, lifting your hips to help him pull the flimsy garment down your legs and toss it to the side. Mingyu sucks in a breath sharply when he sees your exposed cuntâdespite already having seen it before, and you feel a rush of pride at the fact that you still have this effect on him. âSo pretty,â he murmurs, eyeing your folds hungrily.Â
Mingyu works on your clit expertly, thumb rubbing against the nub, eliciting a loud moan from you. He licks a stripe up your folds, grinning when your hand automatically finds itself in his hair again. When he finds youâre wet enough, he slides a finger in. You inhale sharply, hole clenching around the digit. He circles his thumb around your clit once more, before sliding another finger in.
You gasp at that, tightening the hand in his hair. Mingyu leans forward, swiping at your clit with his tongue one more time and pulling both his fingers out at the same time. He relishes in the sounds coming out of your mouth, feeling proud that youâre not trying to hide anything from him. Youâre completely under his mercy, as is he when it comes to you.
He slides both the fingers back in, hissing when your walls contract against them, pumping the digits in and out a few more times. The way you moanâbecause of himâmakes him finger your hole faster, enjoying the way your moans increase in pitch. When he sees your eyes beginning to cloud over, Mingyu quickly withdraws his fingers. You whimper at the loss of his touch and he chuckles. âPatience, baby. Donât want you to cum just yet.â
Your head falls back on the pillow and you mutter a string of incoherent words under your breath. âLook at me,â Mingyu tuts.
You lift up your neck curiously. Mingyu waits for your eyes to land on his lips before he slowly, deliberately puts his two fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the digits and licking your juices off. He doesnât fail to notice the way you bite your lip at the sight.
Once he pulls his fingers out, Mingyu bends down and presses an open-mouthed kiss to the inside of your thigh. âAre you even gonna fuck me, Gyu?â you grit out, and his eyes widen.
âCall me that again,â he orders.Â
âFuck me, Gyu.â Your voice is borderline a whimper, and, wellâwho is Mingyu to prevent you from getting what you desire? After all, heâs always been a little weak when it comes to you.
He gets on his knees, holding his throbbing cock in his hand. He pumps it a few times, groaning softly, before positioning himself at your entrance. âYouâre on the pill?â
âYes.â You nod almost desperately, waiting for him to slide it all the way in.
Mingyu enters you slowlyâthe pace is almost unbearableâbut he shudders when he feels your walls against his dick. You grab onto his shoulders, nails digging into the flesh. A loud moan escapes your lips when he jerks his hips forward, his cock pressing into your cervix. Your eyes screw shut, and Mingyu grunts, pulling out and thrusting back inside with more force. Almost unconsciously, you wrap your legs around his hips, granting him more access to your hole and allowing him to push himself deeper inside you.
He leans down and captures a nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue around the pebbled bud. You gasp out moans wantonly, and it spurs him to thrust faster and faster inside you. He watches you fall apart on him, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips when your moans become interspersed with chants of his name.Â
Your grip on his shoulders tighten and the muscles flex under your hold. Your cries reach a crescendo with one particularly sharp thrust; Mingyu can tell your climax is approaching.
He speeds up, pumping into you with as much strength as he can muster. Your nails leave white-hot trails along his back, his shouldersâyou try to hold onto him as best as you can. You cry for more, beg him to keep going. A bit redundant, in his opinionâhe has no plans of stopping until youâve orgasmed.Â
Mingyu thrusts into you one last time, throwing you over the edge. Your walls clench around his cock tightly, black stars floating in your vision as you cry out his name. He pumps into you weakly, letting you ride out your orgasm while chasing his own high. He buries his face in your neck, breathing heavily, and when your walls tighten around him, he comes inside you, his movements coming to a pause.Â
You stroke his sweaty bangs away from his forehead, both of you catching your breaths. He remains sheathed in you, even as he pulls you onto your side so both your chests are touching.Â
âFeel good?â he asks, one hand carding through your hair gently.
You let out a tired, but satisfied hum, smiling softly at Mingyu.Â
You spend the night curled up in his arms. He sleeps soundly next to you, eyelashes brushing against his cheeks and hands wrapped protectively around your figure. The steady thrum of his heartbeat sounds against your ear, and you smile, even in your sleep.
NINETEEN
âYou have your thinking face on.â Your boyfriend saunters into the kitchen, a knowing smile on his lips. You roll your eyes at him.Â
âYou canât tell me you donât see it too,â you say pointedly, waving your wooden spatula at him.
Mingyu chuckles, moving over and wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. He presses a sweet kiss to your shoulder. âWhat, that Seokmin and Jihyo are meant to be? That smells amazing, by the way, love.â
âYes,â you huff out, stirring the soup inside the pot boiling on the stove. âAnd thank you.â
From the living room, you can hear your two friends laughing over something you couldnât possibly begin to comprehend. Jihyo still lives in another city, but she comes over to visit whenever she can. You and Seokmin remain friends, and he often comes over whenever you, Mingyu and Jihyo decide to hang outâthough, you suspect his enthusiasm to join you three has more to do with one particular person rather than the entire group.
âIf you say so,â Mingyu agrees. âI think theyâre just friends.â
âFriends donât look at each other that way,â you say matter-of-factly.
âReally? I seem to recall him looking at you the exact same way not too long ago.â
âThatâs different, Gyu. Here, can you taste some? I donât want it to be too salty.â Grabbing a large spoon, you dip it in the pot and offer it to Mingyu.
He obliges, letting you shove the spoonful into his mouthâand yelps almost immediately. âOuch! You didnât tell me it was hot.â
You only raise an eyebrow at him, but a small hint of amusement dances in your eyes. âHow does it taste?â
Mingyu rolls his eyes at you but rests his chin on your shoulder; his hair tickles your ear. âIt tastes amazing as always, love.â
âYouâre sure? Youâre not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?â
âIâm offended you think I would lie to you.â
âWouldnât be the first time,â you deadpan, and it makes Mingyu giggle.
âIâm serious, it tastes good.â He smiles at you, peeling himself away from you. âLetâs go join the other two.â
âComing.â You put the stove on simmer and grab Mingyuâs extended hand. His fingers slot in between yours easily. Your lips curl upwards on their own accord, and your heart feels so full, itâs close to bursting.
Youâre there, in a room with all your favourite people, and itâs perfect.
The very first night you and Mingyu broke up is pushed to the back of your mind, never to slip out of the corner youâve tucked it into. The nights after made up for it, and you wouldnât trade it for anything in the world. You rebuild the promises you made and make new ones along the way.
Youâd write it in the sky if you could, but you and Mingyu donât need that.Â
#mingyu x reader#seventeen x reader#mingyu smut#seventeen smut#mingyu imagines#seventeen imagines#mingyu x y/n#seventeen x y/n#mingyu x you#seventeen x you#svt x reader#svt smut#svt imagines#svt x y/n#svt x you#seventeen#svt#kim mingyu#mingyu
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18+ mdni; fem!reader
half-asleep toji eating you out first thing in the morning. you're still waking up too, the sensation of him pressing open-mouthed kisses to your bare cunt enough to make you stir. carefully, he wraps his arms around your thighs and digs his fingers into your plush flesh as he gets comfortable between your legs.
sunshine peeks from behind the curtain and paints you in its warm, golden light and toji can't tear his eyes from you; he takes you in as if it's his first time seeing you â the curve of your lips and the apples of your cheeks, the nose he so loves to bite at and the scars and the blemishes, the freckles that adorn your skin. your brows furrow as a meek sigh spills from your tongue and the sight of your body reacting to everything he does even when you're unconscious has his heartbeat growing a little faster.
peck after peck, he presses his scarred lips against your folds and your clit, slowly but surely working his magic on you. he rolls his own hips into the mattress to relieve himself and smears his pre-cum all over the sheet below him. but the mess is the last thing on his mind; your back arches off the bed and your hand finds its way to his hair, fingers tugging at the dark roots as pleasure builds inside you.
he's gentler than ever, softer than ever, and it's a moment you'll never forget because when you finally crack open your eyes and take a peek at the man between your thighs, you're met with the fondest gaze. you drown in pure and utter adoration and sink deeper into the mattress as he devours you, the only thoughts in your head being just him, him, him.
with his eyes glued to yours, he guides you to and through your high with his tongue. toji drinks up every single moan you grant him like he's dying of thirst, and every twitch of your body and every tug of his hair act as his very own rewards for being good for you.
it's only when you're pushing his head away with a whine that he relents. his face is still a bit puffy, remnants of sleep still evident in the few faint lines that run across his cheeks but the slanted grin he sends you when he wipes your slick from his mouth is far from drowsy. but it's not hungry either â it's something else entirely, something more akin to a smile belonging to a happy, happy man.
it's the kind he always gives you before pinching your sides while forcing out bursts of laughter from your poor lungs. it's the kind he always gives you after you call him 'baby'. it's the kind he always wears whenever he just gets to be with you.
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Yandere! Werewolf Headcanons
I've been stalked by the guilty feeling that my Romanian Werewolf boy got a lot of backstory but not much romance or interaction. So there you have it: some headcanons featuring the ancient Beast, a post-kidnapping sequel.
Content: female reader, obsessive behavior, monster romance, mild NSFW at the end, ridiculously older yandere
You followed the gargantuan stranger back into the city, leaving the bloodbath behind as if it was just a distant dream. Admittedly, youâd expected to be dragged into some mountainous cave or an abandoned mansion, not the cozy - albeit a little dusty - apartment on a main, historical street. On second thought, he did function as a human outside of his monstrous escapades, so it made sense. âIs this your place?â, you sheepishly asked while he wiped the thick layers of blood off him. âOne of them, yesâ, he answered curtly. âItâs centralâ, you remarked, trying to make conversation. âWell, I didnât know about it back then. Itâs been a few decades.â
Your ears perked up at the words. Gazing at his features, he didnât seem necessarily aged to you. The deep creases contouring his face felt more like a sign that heâs lived sorrows beyond most peopleâs comprehension. âHow old are you?â You finally asked as curiosity replaced your initial fear. He abruptly stopped his movements and leaned back, brows furrowed in deep contemplation. âIâm not so sure anymore. I was born in the 80sâ, he concluded. âThatâs not too far back, is it?â You inquired, this time more relaxed. â80 BC, I meant. You do the math.â
He freshened himself up as you counted the millennia on your fingers, frowning in confusion. He chuckled at your intense focus, then quickly looked up into the mirror. When was the last time he smiled like this? The reflection was a foreign sight to him. âWeâll get you everything you need tomorrowâ, he continued, still in a daze. What a strange idea, having someone to speak to after an eternity. And suddenly, it occurred to him just how rusted his communication had gotten: âIâm so sorry, I havenât asked for your name onceâ, he said, embarrassed. âItâs (Y/N). And you are...?" Might as well introduce yourself to your benevolent captor.
The dreaded question. How did they call him back in the day? He hasn't had anyone spell it out for him, nor did he feel the need at any point to say it himself. Why would he? He hadn't anticipated meeting you. With pursed lips, he searched his mind. Eventually, from the depths or memories, from days of yore, it made its way back: "Daos."
Given your first gory encounter (where he quite literally murdered everyone else), you were surprised to find out he's otherwise a calm and polite individual. Well, he's had centuries to mature, you suppose. You've also noticed he has that rather old-fashioned chivalry to him. He's very attentive despite his stoic demeanor, and often follows with acts of service.
"You're insulting me. I can carry this myself with ease", you'll argue. "I never doubted you can. Nonetheless, it is my wish to do it for you."
As the days pass, your reluctance seems to vanish as well. In fact, you've become particularly cheeky, encouraged by his warm, unperturbed behavior. Maybe you haven't gotten the worst deal out there, after all.
"You know, you talk like an old man", you've teased him once. He was visibly taken aback by your statement, and you could discern a faint blush on his face. "Do I? My apologies, I haven't spoken to anyone in a long time. I'm not familiar with modern speech. Have I embarrassed you somehow?"
He spends his free time reading, though he will frequently take you on walks. It's an interesting affair to say the least. You can feel the curious eyes of the passersby and hear their not-so-discreet whispered gossip. You can't truly blame them: Daos is enormous even as a human. He towers above everyone else with his imposing appearance. To match, his voice is deep and coarse as a result of not using it much until recently.
The ancient werewolf is a living history book. If asked, he will narrate to you important events or details you might be curious about regarding his culture. Once, when he'd been in a good mood, he even shared fragments of his life before turning into a creature. He'd been a high-ranked Dacian warrior, spending his days training or fighting. He still remembers the flag he carried with bitter fondness, yet another irony to his fate: a wolf-headed serpent. It was meant to showcase their way of life; barbarians with no fear of death. They'd greeted the Roman Empire with nothing but a sword and a shield, no shred of doubt.
He might've been betrayed by his people, but the pride remains. The pride of a soldier who's never known defeat. You learned quickly that his beastly form doesn't count as a significant change by any means, save for appearances. The man has brute strength even as a human. You'd once strayed from his view, and a stranger approached with a daring whistle, gawking you up and down. Before you could react, Daos clawed him by the throat. You heard the twist of the skin and the creak of the bones giving in to the immense pressure of his large hand.
"It's the second time I have exposed you to such unpleasant sights", he said, discarding the body as if it was any other garbage. "Forgive me, but I will not have you disrespected like this."
He is very much aware he's taken you away from the world out of his own selfish desire. The fact that you accepted it is more than he could ever ask for. That's what he keeps telling himself, even as his eyes wander to your lips whenever you speak. Or as his hand lingers a moment too long against the curve of your back. Or as he hungrily takes in your scent whenever you're nearby.
He might be unhealthily possessive of you, but Daos will never do anything against your will. No matter how obvious his urges are. In fact, no amount of flirting or teasing will shake his resolve. You will have to be very direct with your approval.
Once the reality settles in, he'll become extremely affectionate, bordering on obsessive. To think he could have you in every way possible. Oh, he's waited thousands of years for you. All the suffering, the loneliness, the anger, they're stripped of any meaning now that he has you.
The city strolls at an awkward distance have since become a habitual excuse to hold your hand and show you off to the mortals. The quiet evenings of passing time with a book now include your merely noticeable weight cuddled into his lap. You didn't expect him to be this adoring. Being touch-starved for millennia counts as one reason, naturally, but there's more to it, so much more. And it all leads back to you.
He is a little taken aback when you ask him to do the deed in his werewolf form. "Don't be foolish. I can't overcome my instincts as well when I'm a creature. I could harm you", he'll lecture you. "Besides, you can barely take it as it currently is", he'll add, smirking at your baffled expression. It seems he's picked up on your cheekiness.
After a lot of pleading and waiting for the right moment - when he's ravaging you in a daze - he finally agrees. True to his word, his tune instantly changes. The tender hold turns into a desperate grasp sinking into your skin, and the thrusts become irregular, almost frantic. His drool cools your burning cheeks as you hold onto the coarse fur, feverish and overwhelmed.
His golden eyes rest on the small human squirming underneath him, and suddenly, he can't help but notice: you have the perfect birthing hips.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere monster#yandere monster x reader#yandere werewolf#werewolf x reader#monster x reader#monster x human#monster romance#yandere headcanons#male yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere oc#yandere oc x reader#yandere smut#monster smut#monster boyfriend#daos
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Principal got the Homestuck treatment.
#susan baldimore#baldi bbieal#susaldi#principal of the thing bbieal#They mean so much to the worldâŠ#Shoutout to Susanâs hair always looking like the worlds most fucked-up croissant#Sentryâs design for Susan is so Beginnerâs Guide to Heresay for meâŠ#Itâs only now that Iâve noticed that Susanâs green is like slightly dark than Baldiâs green woahhhhhhâŠ#These are so expressive and so funny they truely capture the spirit of Baldiâs Bsics#actually alot of tour work capture Baldiâs Basics essence so beutiful even the more depressing ones#Okay letâs have a moment to discuss how Baldiâs Basics is very tender and simple in its expression of emotions and how Sentry is perfect in#I want to first point to the tragedy of Nullâs character in concept it is a very lonely and scary concept the idea you live outside#âthe bubble of societyâ either because of circumstance (being out of bound in a game) or unappeal (being a mad conspiracy theorist who is#bitter and afraid of everything) and if you tried to explain yourself nobody would listen either because they canât or donât want to#on one hand you blame yourself because of your bad personality but on the other hand you blame the world for its areogance and stubborness#Itâs a tragedy and yet MystMan never delves too hard into it thereâs always this sense of loneliness because whenver Null speaks to you#itâs just Null nobody else no one to react to him or for him to react towards and it also feels like his actions donât hve an impact on the#world around him. Similarly if you interacted with Null â during the ARG â it would also feel like yoru actions donât ahve mcuh consequence#since in the end Null returns to his ordinary FileName2 self. And the world of Baldiâs Basics remains basic as always.#Compare that to Sentryâs interpretation of Susaldi alot of the scenes we receive of them usually far away and also distant like them dancing#while we (the viewer) peek through a window or them standing in front of a green square in a void (my last reblog) or them kissing in the#night while FilneName2 peeks from behind a tree. There are more intimate ones like seeing the family interact in the house or going to the#beach. But those happy emotions are ultimately drowned out when we remember that Susan is not with Baldi and therefore Baldi will never be#with his old life. Itâs a distant life and one that is in reality very cold which makes all those intimate moments feel like a dream.#Pictures liek the ones I mentioned in the former are usually dull and more simple in palette which can feel like a faint flashback.#Compared to the pictures in the latter where they are fully coloured and have rooms that are lived in.#I forgot to mention that in both Sentryâs Susaldi and Nullâs Tragedy we never see the character fully develop outside tehir archetype or#see the progression from Point A to Point B. Again theyâre really more like random memories scattered about or an old friend you see soemtim#Remember when this was about funny Susaldi.#Man these funny memes really make me hurdle my cheese!! Thank youf ro good content and fanart đđđđ
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