#everything about this is so good 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[formulaonecrumbs]

junie i could use osc irl rn. how about him comforting reader, trying to help keep her pain under control. massaging her hips, arms, sides, thighs, back, stomach, stomach (all things that are hurting after surgery). just trying to let her relax.

-🧸

slow hands

Oscar Piastri x PCOS!reader

summary: oscar comforts reader after surgery with soft touch and care.

warnings: post-surgery recovery, pain management, full-body massage

A/N: i’m so scared my writings getting too repetitive and u’re gonna get bored of it but i’m running out of ways to make these different and fun and stuff 😭😭 i hope u enjoy it regardless. LOVE U ❤️

p.s. that IS a nial horan reference in the title :p

⚘ ⚘ ⚘ ⚘

you’re barely out of your pain meds haze, body heavy and aching, when oscar settles beside you on the bed with the quietest, gentlest kind of care.

“you okay?” he asks softly, brushing your hair off your forehead. his voice is warm like sunlight, all concern wrapped in love, and you don’t have the energy to do anything but nod.

“hurts,” you mumble, voice small. “everything hurts.”

“i know, baby. i got you,” he says, pressing a kiss to your temple. “just tell me where.”

you take a slow breath, blinking heavy eyes open. “hips. thighs. stomach. back. arms. literally everywhere.”

he gives you the smallest smile—soft and sweet—but there’s nothing teasing in it. “we’ll go one at a time then, yeah?”

he starts with your arms, gentle circles of his thumbs in the muscle, soft pressure, checking your face every few seconds like he’s reading it for pain. he works down to your wrists, thumbs brushing the sensitive skin there. then your thighs—he moves slow, spreading warmth into each sore inch with long, steady strokes.

“just wanna get the tension out of you,” he murmurs, leaning in to kiss your knee. “you’ve been through so much, baby.”

his hands glide to your stomach, skimming the swollen skin around your incision site without pressing too hard. you flinch slightly, and he pauses. “too much?”

you shake your head, even though your eyes are fluttering closed. “feels nice. just tender.”

he keeps his palms open, broad and warm, rubbing in the most featherlight rhythm, like he’s trying to soothe the hurt straight out of you with love alone. “i hate that you’re in pain,” he whispers, more to himself than to you.

“but you help,” you whisper back. “you always help.”

his hands move to your hips and sides, rubbing where he knows the cramping hits hardest, working knots of pain away in slow, loving passes. and when he gets to your back, he helps you turn gently, so carefully, like you might break if he moves too quick. he kisses the top of your spine, trails soft fingers along the curve of it.

“i’ll stay right here,” he says. “no matter how long it takes.”

you hum in your throat, drowsy, limp under his touch. “you’re too good to me.”

“not possible,” he says, already tucking the blanket back around you. “you deserve all of this. more than this.”

and he keeps going, hands everywhere you hurt, until the ache starts to dull and you can finally, finally rest. wrapped in warmth, soft love, and oscar’s voice whispering, “sleep, baby. i’ll be right here when you wake up.”

THE END :>

[hamzahsbaby]

ok so for the angst maybe like a fake rumor gets out that hamzahs cheating on reader and then reader starts to believe it and ends things without his explanation and then they meet a few months later and lots of arguing and stuff idk what else but yeh sorry this is all i can explain 😭🙏

warnings/notes: angst! hamzah lowk kinda mean at first, but he redeems himself, happy ending cause i need y/n happy ^_^ i give absolutely no explanation to the rumor …

"are you really going to believe some stupid fucking rumor you heard online?" hamzah threw his hands in the air, you'd never seen him this upset before. "like," he rubbed his forehead, pacing in front of you as you sat at his kitchen table. "seriously?"

"well you weren't doing anything to stop it from spreading!" you snapped, your voice shaky from adrenaline. you and hamzah had been going at it for a good 15 minutes now, neither of you wanting to back down. "you didn't fucking care that it upset me!" you felt a warm tear roll down your cheek, your body replaying exactly how you felt the first time you and hamzah had this argument, except that time you ended things and left without any explanation.

now, a few months later you were back in his kitchen, everything was the same, but maybe a but messier, you weren't exactly sure. red and blue even greeted you at the door when you came in, they missed you sneakily giving them treats whenever hamzah wasn't looking, or giving them endless cuddles after hamzah would push them away for the night.

"was i supposed to dedicate a whole video to some stupid rumor made about me? is that what you wanted?" his yells were even louder and more condescending. you rolled your eyes, "there's no sense in even talking to you if you're not going to hear me out." you got up from the kitchen chair, grabbing your keys from the table. "i knew it was fucking stupid coming over here." you made your way towards the front door, jaw clenched, tears falling down your face, heartbroken for a second time, but still you desperately wanted hamzah to stop you from walking out that door. so desperately.

"wait." his voice was much softer this time around. "i'm sorry." he grabbed your wrist. "i'm sorry okay?" his fingers gently unwrapped themselves from around your wrist. that was the first time he'd touched you in months. it was the kind of touch that screamed 'please don't leave' without having to say it.

"i should have done more, you're right." hamzah leaned against the counter, running his fingers through his hair. "i was just upset," he sighed, tears welting up in his eyes, now he was the one reliving his emotions. "you up and left like i didn't mean anything to you. like all of this was for nothing." his voice cracked, mentally going back to the day you decided you were done, no note, no text, no call, just gone. but you still lingered in his apartment; your smell on his pillows, your hair ties all over the place, and even that stupid cracked mug you insisted on keeping because 'it deserved a home too'. it was all still there. so while you got to leave and move on, he didn't.

"do you think i just never thought of you or something?" you sighed, "you're all i thought- you're all i think about." you corrected yourself. "and you didn't even reach out." another tear fell, this time hamzah wiped it before you could do it yourself, his hands were sweaty and clammy. "well you didn't exactly leave room to do that." hamzah nervously played with his curls. "well you could have tried." anger started stirring up in your stomach again. "you could have done something."

"i didn't know how." he admitted, his voice was soft. "i've never loved someone the way i love you. i didn't want to ruin us completely." his eyes were glossed over, he looked so desperate and innocent. "do you still love me?" he asked.

"i never stopped hamzah."

[tryandbehappy]

Okay. Deep breath.

I watched the episode. And guess what? I was TERRIFIED going into it, like genuinely scared they were going to destroy everything I loved about Nick and June.

But… they didn’t.

That was about how people fall apart when they don’t feel loved completely. And how love sometimes hurts more than it heals especially when there’s shame, guilt, and impossible choices.

It was painful. It was heartbreaking. But it made sense.

Let’s start with the car scene, oh my GOD. That was raw. Nick finally says it out loud:

“I killed two guards to save you, your friend, your husband. And those men were just doing their jobs. One of them was nineteen.” 😭😭😭

He’s calling out the truth. He’s not perfect. He’s never been but he’s never pretended. He’s calling her out about it. “You knew i was a commander and an eye”.

He said what’s been sitting under the surface for seasons. “You only cared I was a Commander or an Eye when it was convenient.” And you know what? He was right.

June didn’t scream at him. She ran. Got out of the car while it was still moving 😱😱😱. And he ran after her. Shouting her name 😭 That’s not hate, that’s real heartbreak 💔

He tried to explain. “I didn’t say it was them. I never said the girls had anything to to with it” He saved Janine!!! (Did he?). Or he knew that she was important to June and promised to find out where she is for JUNE. He did what he could in an impossible situation. And he said it out loud: “We’re all just trying to survive. We’re fucking human.” That line? Destroyed me.

This wasn’t a villain moment. This was a moment of grief, guilt, shame. June’s drowning in it. She’s not that mad at him. she’s mad at herself. For still loving him and not being able to hate him.

June is shattered. She’s grieving. She’s ashamed, drowning in guilt because the women died, and she thinks that’s because of her. because she still loves Nick, because the world around her is telling her she shouldn’t. She’s always been so ashamed of this love because she was unfaithful to Luke and he perfectly waited for her all these years. And now it’s even worse for her. She not only cheated but she cheated with someone who you can’t trust as she now thinks. Everyone is whispering behind her back and judging her which is making everything even worse.

This whole episode is about the burden of loving someone completely.

Nick loves her with everything. Unconditionally. He’s always accepted her at her darkest.

When she tore Fred apart, when people died because of her, when she was cruel. He never judged her.

All he wanted was for her to LIVE.

And now he needs the same in return. But she’s too broken right now to give it.

Not because she doesn’t love him but because the shame, the guilt, the public judgment is too much.

She’s not thinking straight.

Nick is also completely crushed. When Rita tells him “you’re a good man,” he answers, “Not without her.”😭😭😭 my god

He doesn’t believe he’s worth anything without her love. That’s where he is.

He’s spiraling. Closing off. Maybe even preparing to become the “monster” people think he is. (I knew it was going there)

BUT he still saved Janine. He still didn’t give everything away.He did what he could. Did the most!! He didn’t choose Gilead. He chose her. This is so heartbreaking and unfair 😭

Now let’s talk about the others:

— Luke? Oh my god. The manipulation. The gaslighting. The scene where he yells “Don’t love a fucking Nazi!” was DISGUSTING.

He makes it about HIM (like always) He’s furious she loved someone else. It’s not about politics and these women, it’s about ego. It was the perfect moment for him to call her out so that she felt guilty even more and shattered and be “better” to him. Yes, what a glorious time for him indeed, when she’s wrecked by the guilt so she will behave now yay.

— Moira at least tries to comfort her. She validates June’s pain and even says “If I had a commander trying to save me, I’d fall for him too.” MOIRA ACTUALLY DEFENDED NICK. A LITTLE.

Yes, she tried to reduce it to trauma-bonding. But she ADMITTED that June would’ve died without him. And all of them even

— Lawrence is just playing political chess, trying to provoke June to lead the revolution. Everything he said to June was strategic. He wants her to rage. He NEEDS her to lead.

Because he’s the one being hunted now.

He provoked her on purpose. That’s who he is.

— Rita. This scene is heartbreaking. She wants Nick to help. He refuses, not because he doesn’t care but because he’s convinced he’s no longer worthy. He just completely gave up on himself. Because without June, he thinks he’s lost. He’s pulling away from everyone.

He’s slipping into darkness convincing himself he’s irredeemable.

At the end of the day, this wasn’t the end. It was the break before the healing. They’re not done.

They just need to find each other again, this time, fully.

June needs to accept ALL of him. With his story and yes it’s messy, just like hers.

Nick needs to learn to love himself, with or without her.😭

And I truly believe they will.Because nothing about this screamed “ending.”

It screamed: this love is real, but it’s being tested. These two are shattered without one another. That’s why the ep is called that way.

We’ve still got time.

And if this episode proved anything, it’s that their story is far from over. Anyways what are your thoughts?

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

@zepskies

After reading your comments now I'm even more excited to read the epilogue!

She's a real sweetheart, right? Writing someone who wants to work with little kids, I wanted to write a young woman who isn't without her flaws, but really embodied that kind, nurturing nature that makes for great elementary school teachers. 💗 (And the kind of inner goodness that I think Dean would find endearing too.)

I love hunter!readers, but the soft!readers really have my heart. Not that a hunter!reader couldn't be soft per say, but I just love how cutesy she is.

Buuuuut maybe he should've asked Dean if it was really ok if he pursued the reader before he stepped in. Maybe as his friend, he should've asked Dean what the hell he was doing with Lisa when the reader really needed him right now lol. Maybe that would've been the wake-up call Dean needed to get his shit together and realize he didn't really truly love Lisa. 🤔

You're so right. Benny should have asked more questions!! Benny should have had the talk with Dean and if he is Dean's best friend he should have known. It kinda makes it sadder though. But I'll bet the epilogue kinda explains that a bit too 🥰 But at the same time yes, Benny was a good guy for stepping up and stepping in.

Ahaha yes!! I knew you would catch that! Oh yeah, but that's the kind of mistake a man not used to little kids would make, I feel like 🤣

It really is. I bet that Ben/Soldier Boy would let his kid watch something too soon and then live with the consequences when he can't have sex with the reader for a month because the kid sleeps in the bed with them 🤣

I knowwww I'm sorry I almost killed Dean, but this is the first of many wake-up calls for both Dean and reader. 😭😭

Don't be sorry, near-death experiences that make people realize they love one another is the kind of angst I live for LOL

I tried to do something different with this story and make it feel more realistic, with no real "villain," except that we can hurt the people we love the most unintentionally with our actions and inaction. What we say, and sometimes more importantly, what we don't say.

It really was wonderfully realistic- all the emotions all the drama, it was beautiful! I also think that it resonates more that way- making it about the internal and external struggle with relationships rather than some big-bad to fight. Because sometimes the big-bad is the little voice inside that makes you push everything down or sometimes the big-bad is you? If that makes sense lol.

Oh you saw that, huh? 😂 Yeah, I think you remember that turned into a fun "anonymous" ask in my inbox asking why I was so "defensive" when people criticized my work. I typically have thick skin and was ready to forget the comments entirely, but when that "ask" came in it really annoyed me, not gonna lie. lol I probably should've just ignored the inbox message and deleted it, rather than spend more time and energy on replying to someone whose mind likely isn't going to be changed on how they talk to writers, regardless. 😂 I get that this AU story was "different," and messy with these relationships, but that was kind of the point. Bless you though for your thoughtful and heartwarming feedback regarding the Lisa and Benny storylines! 💗💗💗

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that happened when I was in my two weeks off period 😅 But I don't think it's so much as you not having 'thick skin' or being 'defensive'- I see it more as you being open to the criticism, but them not giving you anything constructive. If someone says 'oh that's stupid' but then don't tell you why, it becomes more about the writer than what they wrote.

But oh yeah no. The fact that they felt the need to also send in an ask criticizing you even more is just uncalled for. I don't blame you for answering it, it would have annoyed me too- especially because lately I feel like the meaner anons think they're helping writers by being super rude?

Yes exactly! The AU is "different!" It's more about the relationships and drama and miscommunication! (slightly mad at you for that last one jkjk 🤣) AU's are supposed to be different, that's literally it- alternate universe. Which is why they didn't like it, because they didn't understand it. 😬

But you're welcome! I really did enjoy it and I'll bet the epilogue is going to be amazing! 💗

IF I STAY - Part 2

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized!Reader

Summary: Your dream is to work with kids as an elementary school teacher. Dean is well on his way to becoming a firefighter, keeping things light and “strings unattached” as he goes. After a one-night stand you never saw coming, you and Dean are forced to deal with the consequences…and figure out if the connection between you is worth fighting for.

AN: Deep breaths Are you ready for a rollercoaster of emotions? 😘❤️

Song Inspo: “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” and “It’s Now or Never” by Elvis

Word Count: 13.1K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, pregnancy feels, hurt/comfort, fluff, time jumps and flashbacks, sexual tension, mutual pining, spice~, and an ending…

❤️‍🔥 If I Stay Masterlist

Part 2: It’s Now or Never

At the doctor’s office, Dean goes in with you for the first trimester ultrasound. There you learn that you’re going to have a boy. Tears well up in your eyes and slip down your cheeks.

Dean wears a look of amazement as he sits on the edge of your bed. He takes up your hand and squeezes gently. He tries to be a strong support, even though he also tries to hide the fear that begins to churn in his gut.

For one of the first times in his life since Sam was born, he feels the weight of responsibility pressing down on him. In a good way. In a fucking scary way.

He looks at you and sees the wonder written across your face while you watch the tiny shape of your baby on the screen. His heartbeat thwaps fast and loud in the speakers.

Dean realizes something else then; the decision you're making is changing the course of your whole damn life…and it’s his fault.

With his weekly hookup rate, in the very back shelves of his mind he knew something like this could happen, even though he thought he'd been careful. (Apparently, condoms are fragile little shits.) But here, in this white wall-to-wall room that smells like hospital antiseptic, that thwap thwap thwap of a heartbeat reverberating in his ears, the reality of this is crashing hard on his shoulders and rattling down to the base of his spine.

Despite his earlier happiness, those thoughts stay with him when you two eventually get back into his car. You have the pictures of the sonogram in your hands. You smile down at them before you put them back in your purse for safekeeping.

However, you notice Dean’s sudden melancholy as he stares out at the road. He’s started the car, but he hasn’t moved to pull out of the parking lot yet.

“Hey, you okay?” you say, resting a gentle hand on his arm.

Dean shakes his head. “Look…I’m sorry for tossing a giant friggin’ monkey wrench into your life. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”

If possible, your heart softens even more. You slide your hand down to grasp his.

“Dean, this baby wasn’t planned, but he’s not a mistake,” you say. “I don’t regret anything.”

Dean stares back at you, incredulously. He can’t believe you could really say that to him. He doesn’t know what to say. He only knows what’s in his mind, and what he feels compelled to do in that moment.

He leans over and kisses you. It’s a firm meeting of his lips to yours and achingly familiar. But ultimately, it’s chaste. He pulls away and settles back in his seat.

When you blink your eyes back open, your expression is slack in shock.

“I’m sorry,” he says, seeming sheepish, and guilty. “I meant to say thank you. Just didn’t know any other way to say it.”

After a moment, you smile at him. It’s warm and almost shy.

Dean clears his throat, trying to ignore the way his face is heating up. He doesn’t say anything more. He just takes the wheel and shifts gears, pulling the car out of the parking lot. 

You don’t know what possesses you to bake cookies. Dozens and dozens of them, all the chocolate chip cookie recipes you can find. You’re in search of the perfect one. This will be the recipe your son will grow up on, and every time he eats them, he’ll remember how much you loved him.

And then, he’ll be ruined for any other chocolate chip cookies that try to grab his taste buds. He’ll say, Blech. Chips Ahoy? These aren’t as good as Mom makes!

…Or something like that.

Yes, these cookies have to be perfect. You’ll even write the ingredients down on a notecard and hide it away, and it’ll become your family secret recipe.

Once you feel like your cookie game is strong enough, you decide to test these babies out. You bring two dozen painstakingly baked confections to Firehouse 83, where Dean works. The man is a bottomless pit, to be sure, but you also want other people’s unbiased opinions. For science.

You park your car on the side of the road, making sure you’re not blocking the driveway where two huge fire trucks are parked. You head inside the firehouse with your big container under your arm and your purse on the other. Now at seven months into your pregnancy, you’ve gotten to the embarrassing “waddle” stage.

You’re still determined to be active though! You plan to keep working until you have the baby. Your parents live a few hours away, but you’re grateful that they want to help out as much as possible.

Even though they weren’t happy to hear about how you got pregnant, by now they've met Dean and begrudgingly admitted to liking him. He's really stepped up to the responsibility of a future father, insisting on baby-proofing your apartment, helping you shop for the essentials, and going with you to as many doctor’s appointments as he can. He’s even agreed to giving you child support payments, even though you hadn’t wanted to ask for it.

You look for him now as you enter the firehouse, trying to push the heavy glass door open with one hand.

“Here, I got you,” says a familiar baritone voice.

You’re pleasantly surprised at the man who helps you inside.

“Benny! It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, been…a while,” he chuckles, glancing down at the swell of your belly, but he squeezes your shoulder and leans in to hug you gently.

“Dean filled you in?” you ask. You hope so. Having to explain the story to one of his own friends would be embarrassing, especially since this is the man you walked in Sam’s wedding with. It reminds you of that day, and the way you told Dean that news in a glorified closet, with shaking hands and the wrong kind of butterflies.

Thankfully, Benny nods. “That he did…but come on, I’ll show you around. And I see you’ve brought somethin’ special for us?”

He gestures at the container you're holding and offers to take it off your hands. You give it to him, grateful for the help.

“Yeah, and I want you guys to give me your honest opinion.”

Benny tosses you a wink and a smile. “That I can do.”

Your cheeks begin to warm in a blush, but the way he helps you to a comfy couch in the common room earns your smile. There are still good men left in this world, and you’re glad to know that Dean works so well with one.

“You want some coffee, or water? Think we might have some lemonade,” Benny says.

“Water would be great, thank you,” you reply, as you rub your belly. The little man has decided to kick at your liver today. “I stopped drinking coffee for the baby. ”

It's your biggest challenge, to be honest. Try wrangling a group of fifteen to twenty six-year-olds while running on green tea, the fumes of sleep deprivation, reduced bladder control, and as much vim as you can muster.

“Ah, right,” Benny nods. “My sister has two kids. She cut out coffee, pain meds, some dairy stuff. But she claimed cheesecake was all right, ‘cause it’s got cake in the name.”

You giggle. “I see no flaw in her logic.”

Down the hall of the firehouse, Dean is just coming back in from going through a set of drills. He’s still the Candidate—the freshest blood in the house—so they’ve been putting him through his paces for the past several months. He’s eager to learn and to prove himself.

His ears perk up in confusion though. Did he just hear your voice?

Why does it smell like a bakery in here?

When he rounds the corner, he sees you in the common room, smiling and giggling like a teenager at something Benny said to you while he eats a soft baked cookie right out of a Tupperware container. You must’ve brought it for the firehouse.

This cozy little scene kind of annoys Dean somehow, though he doesn’t know why. He does know that it shouldn’t.

“Hey, look who’s here,” Dean says, forcing himself to smile. It becomes easier when you look his way, your eyes brightening at his arrival.

“There you are! Come ‘ere and try these,” you say, pointing at the box Benny holds. “Tell me if our son’s going to have the best PTA mom ever.”

Dean can’t help but grin after trying a big bite of one of your cookies.

“Oh, mah Gah,” he says, holding a hand under his mouth so nothing comes crumbling out.

“Good?” you ask.

“Good friggin’ cookie,” he confirms, after he swallows. “You’re gonna have the other parents frothing at the mouth. Who’s gonna be able to compete with this?”

Benny nods in agreement. When Dean squeezes your shoulder, your sweet, happy smile makes him smile too.

She’s going to be a good mom, he thinks. He can only hope against hope that he can be the man his son needs.

Two months later, the time has finally come. Your water breaks when you’re in the middle of teaching your second graders how to spell exaggerate—and no, Joey, it’s not e-g-g-zagerate.

However, the embarrassment of him pointing out the fluid beginning to stain your slacks is swiftly cut off by your shock. Your first call is to the principal, to have her send someone to cover your class. Your next call is to Dean, telling him to meet you at the hospital.

“Why the hell did he have to bring her,” you mutter to yourself, wiping sweat from your brow. Here you are, gritting your teeth through contraction after contraction in this damn hospital bed, and Dean is outside the room talking to Lisa.

You know you have no real reason to be upset. She’s been trying her best to be your friend in recent months. Hell, she helped Eileen and your mom plan your baby shower. She even brought you flowers when she got to the hospital, but you notice how less than five minutes after she got here, she and Dean became embroiled in yet another argument. It seems to you that all they do is argue, break up for a week or two, and then get back together again.

The sex must be explosive, like the fireworks at goddamn Disney World.

But Dean eventually does come back into the room alone. His support grounds you over the next few hours. He lets you basically break his hand, all while he gives you encouragement (and stands by your shoulder, so he doesn’t see anything you’d rather him not see).

And then, your son is born. Every muscle, every cell in your body is exhausted, but the pain meds have kicked in, and you’re in that blissed out state between abject reality and being entirely entranced by the bundle in your arms. His perfect face is just there, sleeping for the moment after the nurses taught you how to breastfeed.

Dean returns to sit in the chair beside you. He gives you some water and a piece of a protein bar. You’re not that hungry, but he pointed out that you haven’t eaten since before your water broke.

“Sam and Eileen are on their way up,” he says.

You nod in reply. You’re too into your son right now to think of anything else.

Dean shakes his head in wonder as he reaches out with a tentative hand, brushing his fingers over the baby’s downy head. He was born with a little tuft of brown hair.

“Okay, down to business,” Dean says, shooting you a playful look. “I vote for Zeppelin.”

You groan. “Dean, no. Veto. I’m not naming my son after a rock band.”

“Aw, come on. It’s a badass name!”

“What about Aiden?” you suggest.

“Veto,” he snorts. You two agreed to getting five “vetos” each, but this discussion has been more like a battle of wills over the last several months.

“Okay, what about Daniel? That’s strong, classic,” you pose.

Dean considers it with a tilt of his head. “All right, that one’s a maybe.”

Again, he strokes the baby’s soft cheek. You look over at Dean with a small smile.

“You’re going to be a good dad, you know,” you tell him. It earns his gaze. Although he’s trying to stay strong, you read the hidden insecurity there, the worry and fear. You rest a hand on his arm. “You are, Dean. You’re a good man, and you’ve really stepped up these past few months. This obviously isn’t how either of us thought our lives would go, but if this had to happen with someone, I’m glad it’s you.”

Dean’s expression softens. He hesitates, but he lays a hand over yours and squeezes gently.

“Thanks,” he says.

Your eyes meet, and it’s a moment charged with something you can’t even name. It’s not the first time you’ve felt this feeling with him. It both fills your heart with warmth, and makes you ache.

Then the door opens. It’s Lisa, Sam, and Eileen. Dean’s hand slips away from yours as they all pour in to congratulate you and Dean, and of course, meet the baby. There’s a lot of soft cooing and playful shushing.

In that small chaos, your parents call to tell you that they’re finally almost here. It really sucked not having your mom with you, but your parents live far enough away that they were going to take a train and stay with you for at least a week. Their train unfortunately got delayed due to mechanical failure.

It's okay though. Getting through the past several hours has made you realize that you’re stronger and more capable than you think, and even though part of you is still scared to death, you don’t need a husband to be a good mom. You’re going to give this your all, no matter who’s beside you…

And that's no more apparent than when Dean soon has to step out again, leading Lisa out of the room. He saw how her “helpful” suggestion to have a get-together at their apartment to celebrate the baby’s birth was setting you on edge. Really, you just want to sleep for the next 24-hours and not have any more pictures of you taken.

It gets loud enough outside your hospital room that Sam and Eileen feel they have to intervene. Lisa is Eileen’s best friend, and she’s the best equipped to try and deescalate the argument from that end, while Sam deals with Dean. It’s messy, it’s irritating, and it means that even today, you can’t just have a little bit of peace.

You sigh and cradle your still nameless baby close to your chest. He’s all that matters. Already, your heart is so damn full just taking him in.

“What’s your name, my little love?” you whisper. “What am I going to write on your certificate, besides Winchester?”

“How about Benjamin,” comes a Louisiana drawl.

You perk up and smile in surprise. “Benny, hey.”

He greets you with a slightly hesitant kiss on the cheek. He’s brought the baby an adorable teddy bear, and you a beautiful bouquet of white and blue roses, along with a box of chocolates.

“It’s the assorted kind, but they’ve got plenty of the caramel ones you like,” he says, then gazes down at the baby. “Aw, he’s a little charmer. Already got more of you than Dean, that’s for sure.”

You laugh lightly at his teasing. “I don’t know about that.” You hope your son inherits Dean’s strong jaw, and his green eyes.

Benny scratches the back of his head. “Also…sorry if I’m crossing some kind of boundary here. Looks like it’s a bit of a circus outside.”

You shake your head and smile through burgeoning tears. You set the chocolates on the end table where he’s placed the flowers and the teddy bear.

“No, it’s very sweet. Thank you,” you say. You glance out the window of your room to the hallway, where the arguing between Dean, Lisa, Sam, and Eileen seems to finally be calming down. You’re so damn tired, you don’t give a crap about whatever they’re hashing out now.

You look down at your son, and despite your strong thoughts earlier, insecurity begins to creep back into your mind like inky claws.  

“How are you holding up?” Benny asks. His face is kind and concerned when he notes the change in you.

You meet him with a wobbly smile. “Honestly? I’m afraid. I know I have a lot of people who want to support me, and I’m grateful, but…I just have this terrible feeling that we’re going to end up alone, him and me.”

You look down at your son, and you have to wipe away a tear from your eye before it falls on his face.

A large, warm hand rests over yours. Your gaze raises slowly, and Benny smiles at you. He’s serious though.

“Don’t you worry about that,” he says. “You’re not gonna be alone.”

FIVE YEARS LATER... 

For all that changes, there are some things that stay the same.

Dean and Lisa are still the world’s most “off again, on again” couple you’ve ever met. Sam and Eileen are still going strong as the hardworking, driven career couple. Your son is growing more and more every day and just started kindergarten this year.

(You ultimately caved on Dean’s idea to name him Robert, as in Robert Plant, lead singer of Led Zeppelin.)

Oh, yeah, and the “you and Benny” thing? That’s been going well for two years now.

What can you say? The man is persistent, but respectfully so. He’s considerate, reliable, and always calls you when work at the firehouse has him running late.

You haven’t yet invited him to move in with you. That part you’re still hesitant on, mostly because of your son, but Benny helps you drop off Robbie at school and makes breakfast for you all whenever he stays over your apartment. Benny takes an interest in your son’s life and keeps up with all his energy, taking him to the park to run himself ragged before dinner, and helping you tuck him in at night.

Benny is a bit closed off though, the strong stoic type. He’s hard for you to get a read on, and sometimes you wonder if he’s just indulging you when you ramble on about your day or make silly jokes. Even now, sometimes you withhold the first thought that comes to your mind, hoping he doesn’t think you immature or…too much.

But Benny shows his caring in all those little things he does for you. They add up into the big things, and he makes you feel supported. He makes you feel safe.

He even helps you plan your son’s fifth birthday. Robbie wanted to go all out on a dinosaur theme; he’s been hooked on Jurassic Park ever since Benny “accidentally” let him watch it with him on one of your rare nights out with your friends.

So you set up a little party at the park by your apartment. You managed to reserve the biggest gazebo, where there are three picnic tables covered with dinosaur plates, and tablecloths, streamers in different shades of green. You even bought a big dinosaur cake—also in a radioactive green color that you hadn’t been sure about, but your son talked you into. Robbie thinks it’s awesome.

He’s running around on the playground with a few of his friends from school. Their parents (along with Sam, Eileen, and Lisa) are talking amongst themselves at one of the picnic tables while you try to figure out how to get the Bluetooth speaker to connect with your phone.

“Haha! Got it. If you're so smart, Alexa, why don't you connect on the first try?” You fist-pump the air triumphantly, just as Benny comes to your side. He wraps an arm around your waist and kisses your cheek, making you smile.

“How’s it going out there?” you ask, nodding at the kids. Plus Dean, who’s gamely been the one to keep them entertained with different games. Right now, it’s a thrilling game of Cowboys and Outlaws, where Robbie and his friends are the cowboys, and Dean is the outlaw. He’s been hiding under the slide, behind trees and other playground fixtures, while the kids have little squirt guns to pelt him with water every time they find him.

It's pretty damn cute, and you’ve been taking pictures. You smile at the sight of Dean leaping out at Robbie and the kids, catching them off guard.

“You’ll never take me alive, Sheriff!” Dean declares.

“Oh, it’s goin’,” Benny remarks with an amused shake of his head. “Still hard to believe that guy’s about to make it to Lieutenant.”

“Hahaaa, gotcha!!” Dean cackles. He’s grabbed up Robbie and yanked him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Robbie screeches with laughter while his dad runs around the playground, being chased by a bunch of five-year-olds with squirt guns.

Your smile threatens to make your cheeks hurt. You know your life is…unconventional, to say the least, but Dean is a good father to your son. He’s also been working hard at his job. He just took the Lieutenant’s test, and even though Benny already occupies that position at Firehouse 83, a spot at another firehouse might open up for Dean to transfer.

“Part of me doesn’t want to,” Dean admitted to you last week, while he was working on fixing your stubborn, leaky sink. “All the guys there, they’re like family, you know?” “I understand,” you nodded. “You have to do what feels best for you, whether that’s staying where you feel comfortable, or moving up in your career somewhere else. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.” He took in your advice with a slow nod. “Yeah, thanks. Guess I have to time to think about it. Lisa had other ideas.” “Of course,” you said with a smile, but it soon dropped. “Why, what did she say?” “Do what I can to move up,” he sighed. “She’s got a point. That title comes with a pay bump, one I could really use right now.” “I get that. Totally valid,” you said. “But I just think it’s important for you to be happy with it too. Especially with what you do, helping people, saving people…I’d imagine being in the right mindset for all that is important, right? Who you work with can be just as important as the money stuff.” Dean considered you with a smile. “Yeah, exactly.”

As you think about it now, you have to admit that he’s grown up a lot.

Dean has to lean against a tree to catch his breath. Am I already getting too old for this crap?

Feels kind of young to have a stitch in his side after a few rounds with these kids, but even he has his limits. Lisa comes to bring him a bottle of ice-cold water, which he appreciates. He’s tempted to dump it over his head like he does after successfully neutralizing a fire. It gets literally hot as hell under that helmet and mask and all his gear underneath.

“Need an iron lung?” Lisa teases.

“Toss in a new pair of knees, thanks,” he wheezes. He downs half the water bottle in one go, but he smiles at seeing his son keep running around with his friends. He’s just got that manic kid energy that goes on for days. But Robbie’s also smart; like Dean, he likes taking things apart and putting them back together in new and ingenious ways.

Dean hopes his son likes the new model car set that’s waiting for him on the picnic table full of presents. In fact, he’s still surprised that you didn’t go with the race car theme he suggested for the party, but apparently, Robbie’s more into dinosaurs now. Dean wishes he knew that before he bought the model car set.

He looks over and catches sight of you and Benny wrapped up in each other. He has his arm around your waist while you fiddle with something, but the way you lean over and whisper near his ear elicits a smile on Benny’s face.

Dean’s good mood diminishes.

“Well, don’t they seem cozy,” he mutters.

Lisa arches a manicured brow. “Yeah, pretty sure he’s getting ready to propose.”

That earns Dean’s attention, his head swiveling back to her in surprise.

“Really?” he asks. “Who told you that?”

“His sister,” she replies. “Meg’s in my intermediate class, remember?”

Dean nods, sipping at his water, even though he’s a bit absent in the eyes. Lisa watches him shrewdly.

“Why do you seem upset about it?” she asks. “Benny’s your friend.”

“I know,” Dean says. He doesn’t need that reminder, or the guilty twinge. It’s not like he’s done anything wrong.

“And she seems happy,” Lisa points out. “Don’t you want the mother of your kid to be with a good man who treats her right?”

He nods, trying to hide his growing annoyance. “‘Course I do. I just…I don’t know. I still don’t see them together, I guess.”

“Well, they’ve been together for like, two years.”

Again, Dean nods his acknowledgement. It’s hard for him to believe that so much time has passed already. He honestly didn’t think you and Benny would be together this long. He’d always felt a little uncomfortable with one of his best friends dating you, but you’d seemed happy about it, so he didn’t discourage it. But he’d never been very supportive, either. At least, not about your relationship.

Lisa sighs and grabs his arm, pulling him aside before he can rejoin the party.

“Listen, we need to talk about something,” she says.

Dean restrains a tired groan. “Can this wait ‘til later?”

“I think we should do this now,” she says. A hallmark Lisa-ism. She’s opinionated and strong-willed, something Dean’s always respected about her. Sometimes though, the timing is damn irritating. He doesn’t want to get into another argument with his girlfriend in public, especially not at his son’s birthday party.

“Speaking of commitment,” she says with a sigh. “I think it’s fair to say that we’ve been on a five-year rollercoaster, you and I. You know why that is?”

“I’m sure you’re gonna tell me,” Dean says, crossing his arms.

“It’s because you’re spread too thin,” she says. “Between the firehouse, construction jobs on the side…not to mention other things.”

“What? What’re you talking about?”

Lisa’s lips purse, before she pointedly gestures over at you with her eyes. “Well, for example. You’re still going to her place after your next shift to fix her fridge, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, should be pretty simple. I’ve just gotta swing by the hardware store and grab this specialty tool I ordered—”

“Dean,” Lisa deadpans. “That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.”

She heaves a deep breath, running her fingers through her long brown hair.

“I get that navigating this situation hasn’t been easy for you,” she says. “It hasn’t exactly been easy for me either, but look.”

Lisa takes his hands in hers, uncrossing his arms. “I want to get married someday. I want kids too. And I want that kind of life with you…I’m just not sure you want it with me.”

Dean expels a heavy sigh. “Lis—”

“Don’t answer me right now,” she says, but she levels him with a serious look. “You need to decide though, Dean. Five years is long enough. You should know by now if you want to be with me.”

After letting go of his hands, she softens the edges of her words with a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then she turns to join the group now gathered around the picnic table where the food is, all the kids cheering for pizza and cake.

After the party, Sam, Eileen, Lisa, and Benny pack up their cars and yours with the leftover food, party supplies, and presents. Dean helps you clean up the trash, all while keeping an eye on Robbie getting out the last of his sugar-high on the playground swing.

You shake your head tiredly, if with a fond smile. “That kid’s gonna be up all night hype on that radioactive cake.”

Dean chuckles. “You want me to take him tonight?”

“It’s okay. I think he’s going to want to play with his toys,” you reply.

“Well, he could just as easily do that at my place,” he reasons.

You consider it, but you shake your head. “Yeah, but we got him the bike. He’s probably gonna want to try it out for a few minutes before we get him cleaned up.”

“By ‘we,’ you mean you and Benny,” Dean says, his tone becoming surly. “And about that. Don’t you think a bike is something you should run by me? That’s typically a ‘dad’ kind of gift.”

You pause what you’re doing at the sound of his tone. Your brows knit together.

“Sorry, but I feel like a bike isn’t exclusively a dad thing,” you say.

“My dad got me my first bike,” Dean replies. “Spent a whole three days teaching me how to ride.”

You take a minute to think about it. You understand where Dean’s coming from, so you nod.

“Okay, I get it. You want to be there to help teach Robbie? I’m sure he’d love that.” 

Dean tosses a wadded-up ball of frosting-covered napkins and stops, letting his hands fall to his sides in frustration. He draws closer and helps you untie the balloons from the picnic table.

“Yeah, I do, but that’s not the point,” he says. “Why can’t I take him home tonight?”

You blink up at him in confusion. “Well, like I said. The bike—”

“That I should’ve gotten for him,” he snaps. “Which, let me guess, Benny picked out. Right?”

You frown at him in earnest now. “Dean, why are you getting so upset about it? It’s just a bike.”

“Well you know what, it’s not! And it’s not just the damn bike either.” He swipes a hand over his face in annoyance, a telltale sign you’ve come to read well on the man. “Look, I’m missing too much shit, all right? Like, like the dinosaur thing! And the fact that I only get him on the weekends.”

You turn toward him, trying to put a cap on your own annoyance. This isn’t the first time you two have had a conversation like this. 

“We’ve gone over this before, Dean. Your schedule at the firehouse is just too unpredictable,” you say. “Robbie needs as much stability as possible between us. But…okay, if you want to take him tonight, that’s fine. We can bring the bike over to your place and show it to him there.”

You’re trying to be as reasonable as possible, and Dean knows that. Still, anger prickles just under his skin, and he can’t help but push his luck.

“You still should’ve asked be before you got the bike in the first place,” he argues.

Your brows raise high. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Look, it’s not like we bought him a Honda Civic. Honestly, Dean, why are you picking a fight with me right now?” you ask. “Did you and Lisa get into it again or something?”

Dean looks away and crosses his arms, giving you all the confirmation you need.

“Yeah, that’s right,” you nod. “I saw you two over there on the playground, looked pretty heated. But do me a favor. Don’t come at me with that energy, because I’m too damn tired of it!”

When you walk away from him, Dean can’t help but stare after you. He knows he fucked that up, just as he knows that you don’t deserve him snapping at you. He’s just too irritated to admit it.

For the entire week that follows, Dean finds himself distracted. He sticks to his word and helps Benny teach his son how to ride a bike in between their shifts at the firehouse, but Dean comes home each night feeling even more frustrated and drained than before. It’s too much, knowing Benny’s slowly but surely carving out a father-figure role in Robbie’s life.

These thoughts follow Dean to work, even while he climbs up the firetruck ladder in the rain. It’s parallel to a busted utility pole that still sparks with electricity, even in this torrential downpour. His task is to get up to the top and grab a large branch that’s tangled in the lines.

Rung after rung, he climbs. His safety mask protects his eyes from the rain, but he wishes they had some mini windshield wipers to keep his vision clear of the droplets pelting him in the face.

He also can’t help thinking of you. If Lisa’s right, then Benny’s about to become a more permanent fixture in Robbie’s life, and yours. 

Okay fine. It’s not like Dean expected you to be single forever, but did you really have to get with one of his best friends? Does it really have to be Benny, who seems so natural with Robbie, and more patient than Dean, and more of a support to you and Robbie than Dean can ever be?

And then there’s Lisa’s little ultimatum. He understands why she’s frustrated with him. Honestly, he’s surprised she’s stuck around this long. He knows she’s not going to wait too much longer for him to get his act together. For him to decide, as she put it.

It’s not that he’s not sure about her, it’s just that…

Just that what? he wonders.

He manages to grab the wily tree branch and maneuver it out of the power lines. 

He just doesn’t realize that his glove doesn’t have quite enough friction on the metal side panel of the ladder. Not only does his hand slip, but he’s forced to let go of the branch while he loses his balance. The branch falls to the sidewalk, far, far down below.

“Dean!” Benny shouts in alarm.

Luckily, the truck itself breaks Dean's fall.

Holding Robbie’s hand tightly in yours is the only thing keeping you steady as you lead him through the hospital. After the receptionist had checked you both in and gave you the room number, you hastened down the hall and up to the right floor. 2005.

Robbie breaks into tears when he finally gets to see his dad, laid up though he is in his hospital bed. Your throat tightens at the sight of Dean hooked up to all those monitors. He has his arm wrapped up and fitted into a sling. He has a thick piece of gauze taped to the side of his face, covering a wide, angry abrasion, but he seems to be resting easy on his back. The bed is at an incline, with most of the overhead lights turned off.

Robbie rushes to the bed before you can stop him. He hesitantly touches Dean’s non-injured right hand. “Daddy?”

“Robbie, wait,” you say, keeping your voice quiet. You quickly go over to the bedside and grab ahold of Robbie’s shoulders, but Dean takes a deep breath. His eyelids crack open.

“Hey, buddy,” he says, attempting a smile. His voice is rough and weak, but at least he’s awake.

Robbie’s lower lip wobbles as tears fill his eyes again.

“Come ‘ere,” Dean says, a little stronger. When he reaches out to his son, the kid hops up onto the bed and buries his face into his father’s chest. Dean holds him as securely as he can, soothing his hand over the boy’s hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“It’s okay, little man. ‘M okay,” he promises. Robbie nods, but he still continues to cry.

You can’t help but do the same. Tears slip down your cheeks without your consent. Dean beckons you over too, gesturing with his chin and a slight smile. You’re more tentative in the way you sit down at the edge of his bed. You run your fingers through Robbie’s light brown hair to help reassure him. Then, you meet Dean’s gaze and lay a hand on his good shoulder. You don’t know whether you’re steadying him, or yourself.

“How do you feel?” you ask. “The hospital called me. Benny told me what happened.”

The thought reminds you to text your boyfriend. You hadn’t had a chance to tell him you made it here yet. He must be downstairs grabbing a bite to eat, because he’s the one who rode with Dean in the ambulance and has been with him for a while.

“The hospital called you?” Dean notes in slight confusion.

“Eileen told me that Sam is in court right now, so I must’ve been next on the list,” you say. He also must have taken Lisa off his emergency list the last time they broke up for almost a month. He probably forgot to update it again.

You reach out a hand to almost touch the bandage by his temple. Instead, you hesitantly hold the side of his face to see the area better. Dean closes his eyes for a moment. You can see he’s in pain. Your hand lingers on his cheek, but you know, deep down, that it shouldn’t.

Dean doesn’t stop you though. He lets out a deep breath, savoring how nice the gentle touch feels when the rest of his body feels battered to hell.

“Fell off the ladder. Was a stupid rookie move,” he explains, but when he sees that look on your face, he tries to inject a little more joking into a smile. “S’ not so bad.”

“You could’ve broken your head as well as your arm,” you say, more sharply than you mean to.

Robbie whimpers and clings tighter to Dean. You cover your mouth, as if you can trap the words back inside. You don’t want to upset your son more than he already is, so you fall silent. Another tear works its way down your cheek, but you brush it away. Dean shakes his head.

“Hey, I’m okay,” he reassures you too. He manages to smile as he pats Robbie’s back. “Right, buddy?”

The boy’s head perks up. His eyes are still shiny, but he smiles too. He’s not one to speak when he’s upset though, so he just curls up against Dean’s chest and hangs onto him. Dean rests his good arm snugly around him.

You smile and stroke Robbie’s back. Though your hand lowers, resting on Dean’s hand. You take in a deep breath to calm yourself down. Dean’s fingers curl around yours, prompting you to glance up into his eyes. The way he’s watching you is soft, grateful.

Until the door creaks open. Benny steps in with a subtle clearing of his throat. You jolt internally, and you slip your hand away from Dean’s. You offer your boyfriend a wan smile.

“Hey,” you say.

“Hey, baby.” He comes over and greets you with a kiss to the side of your head. He smiles at your son gently. “The gang’s all here.”

“Oh! Let me call Sam, and Lisa too. They still don’t know what’s going on,” you say. You get up from the bed to grab your phone out of your purse. Dean nods in agreement and thanks you, while Robbie plays with his dad's long fingers.

“How you holdin’ up, brother?” Benny asks, after you step out of the room. He settles into the chair near the foot of the bed.

“Ah, you know me. I’m like a cat. Always stick the landing,” Dean says, smiling lazily. The morphine is starting to kick in again.

Benny smirks. “Maybe you do got nine lives, the amount of close calls you like gettin’ yourself into.”

Dean’s good humor fades. He considers his son in his arms, and he shakes his head.

“Yeah, well, no more,” he says. He got a taste of what it would be like to leave his boy behind, and he’s not fucking doing it. He’s not leaving you to raise Robbie by yourself. The mere idea tears a new hole in his heart.

His eyes sting just enough that he has to blink a bit harder, swallowing past a thick well of emotion in his throat. He presses another kiss to the top of Robbie’s head. Then, Dean meets Benny’s gaze.

“Thank you,” he says, and he means it.

Benny nods.

“You got it, brother.”

When Lisa steps off the hospital elevator on the second floor, you happen to be coming out of the bathroom to fix your racoon eyes. You’ve been crying way too much. You attempt to greet Lisa with something reassuring, but she cuts you off. 

“What happened, and why didn’t the hospital call me directly?” she asks.

Her tone is cutting, and it takes you aback.

“Well, Sam and I were listed as his emergency contacts—”

“Why?” she snaps. “You’re not his wife or his girlfriend. I should’ve been listed.”

Jesus Christ. At this point, you can’t help it. You’re too tired and emotionally drained to lasso in your temper with this woman.

“Maybe if you and Dean stayed together longer than five minutes at a time, he’d put you back on the short list,” you sling back. “But the truth is, you’ve never just…been there for Dean. Not without demanding something from him.”

Lisa scoffs incredulously. “Oh, that’s fucking rich coming from you. You’re the reason he can’t commit to anything. You think your little world is the only one that matters, and you call Dean for any little thing! What, don’t you have a boyfriend to help fix your goddamn sink?” 

You open your mouth to retort, but you pause as her words seep into your mind. She might actually have a small point about that one. You realize then just how often you’ve been asking Dean for his help, not just with your apartment, but with your car, and other logistical things that usually have to with Robbie. Dean’s just such a good handyman, and you thought he genuinely liked being able to help…even though Benny did mention once or twice that he’d be just as happy to help you.

“Lisa, this is a lot more than a leaky sink. I just wanted to get here with Robbie and make sure Dean was okay,” you try to explain.

“Good. I’m glad his son was the first person Dean got to see when he woke up,” Lisa says. “But I should’ve been the second.”

She brushes past you before you can even think of what to say. You’re in a state of shock, feeling guilty, incensed, and on the verge of tears all at once.

A familiar voice calls your name, and you turn to Benny just as those tears begin to fall. He gathers you up into his arms and holds you there in the middle of the hallway.

“She shouldn’t talk to you like that, no matter how high tensions are today. I’ll talk to Dean,” Benny says. You shake your head and bury your face in his chest, clenching your fingers in his red flannel shirt. 

“No, it’s okay,” you reply, despite the sob that shudders through you. You’ve lost the will to fight.

Benny shakes his head and presses a kiss to your forehead. “It ain’t okay, baby.”

“Please, don’t bother Dean with this. Especially not right now,” you say. You take a moment to wipe your eyes and get ahold of yourself. “I’m gonna go get Robbie so Dean can rest.”

You can’t shake the feeling that Lisa is right. You do rely on Dean too much. You just don’t want to think about why that is.

Dean makes a full recovery after a few months. He never does hear about what happened in that hallway, but he knows that things need to change. 

He decides to dig out his mom’s engagement ring from a locked box of his parents’ keepsakes, though he’s still waiting on the right time for it. He and Lisa start looking at houses though, for real this time. She hires a realtor and everything. 

He’s making a firm decision, and he thinks it’s the right one. He wants to be there for his son, but he doesn’t want to keep “spreading himself too thin.” He has to figure out how to set some roots, and some boundaries with you while he’s at it. He’ll just have to come to terms with the idea that he won’t get to be there for everything. 

He has to be okay with the fact that you’ll probably marry Benny. You’ll keep making him cookies and cakes, giving him your smile and your time and your body. And Robbie will probably think of Benny as more of a father than his own Weekend Dad. 

Meanwhile, you’ve spent the past few months keeping yourself in check as well. You’ve stopped calling Dean for help whenever something breaks down in your old-ass apartment. You try to keep your conversations less about life and troubles and whatever funny thing your students did that day in class, and more focused on Robbie–strictly about his schedule and his needs.

It’s kind of painful, if you’re honest with yourself. Sam will always be one of your closest friends from college, but in the past five years, Dean has truly become your best friend. Because you’ve told him things. The things that come from sharing a child with someone, like Sunday dinners with your parents, flipping through old yearbooks and childhood pictures—and the details of day-to-day schedules and little stupid things that happen in moments between moments.

Dean also knows the deep cuts. Like being pregnant and scared and breaking down crying on the side of the road. Like sharing the deepest well of your insecurities with someone who knows your body intimately, even if just for one amazing night...a night you’ve never quite been able to put out of your mind.

However, you know that things can’t stay the same. From now on, he just needs to be your son’s father. Nothing more, nothing less. 

So today, on a crisp April 24th, you’re getting ready for a highly anticipated evening with your boyfriend. Robbie is sleeping over your parents’ house, and Benny has been planning something special for your third-year anniversary. 

You slip into your new dress, a deep emerald green, with a pair of black heels you’ve rarely worn since before you got pregnant. Come to think of it, you were wearing these the night of Sam and Eileen’s bachelor-bachelorette party. The night you…well, the night Robbie was conceived. 

You shake your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. You even consider changing. 

You’re being silly, you shake your head. They’re just shoes. 

And yet. Thinking of that time so long ago, it reminds you of a recent Sunday dinner at your parents’ house.

Two Months Ago...

Your parents live modestly, but comfortably in rural Kansas. Their ranch-style home boasts a creek in the backyard, where your dad is teaching your son how to catch minnows. Your mom is inside working on an apple pie, knowing it’s both Dean’s and Robbie’s favorite.

You and Dean have kept close to the house under the shade, sitting on a bench made more comfortable by a pair of old polyester cushions with red, faded flowers.

“How much longer do you have to wear that?” you ask Dean. He glances down at his cast-covered left arm.

“Doc says it’s about ready to come off,” he says.

You nod, allowing yourself a certain smile. “How bad are you itching to grab my mom’s garden shears and cut it off right here?”

“Woman, don’t tempt me,” he says, his lips twitching at a grin. “I’ve been eying those overgrown scissors for the past half hour.”

You laugh and take another sip of your glass. Yours holds sweet tea, while Dean’s has some of your dad’s favorite whiskey. You both raise your heads when Robbie yells across the backyard.

“I caught a minnow!”

“Good job, buddy,” Dean grins. “See if you can catch a marlin!”

“A marlin?” Robbie questions.

“Yeah, like that orange guy in Finding Nemo,” Dean calls back.

Your dad gives Dean the same wry look you do, though yours is tinged with more amusement.

“Dean, that’s a clown fish,” you say. “He’s not gonna find that in the creek.”

“Aw, shit,” he tries to quiet his laugh. “Ah well, should keep him occupied for another twenty minutes.”

You bite your lip to stifle your laughter as well. Though something else occurs to you the longer you watch your son play and explore in the creek. Your dad has the patience of a saint as he puts yet another bait worm on the hook for the kid.

“He’s starting to ask questions, you know,” you tell Dean, in a quieter voice. “‘Why aren’t you and Daddy married? Why can’t we all live together?’”

Dean's brows raise. His good humor dims when he looks over at you.

“What do you tell him?” he asks.

You take in a deep breath, considering your words now as carefully as you did with your son.

“That we care about each other a lot, as friends,” you say, meeting Dean’s eyes. “And we love Robbie very much. Nothing’s going to change that, even if you and I aren’t together like a normal mom and dad.”

Saying it like that makes your heart twinge, for more than one reason. The way Dean’s mouth twitches into a rueful smile just makes it worse, but you try your best to ignore it.

“I never thought about having to explain it to him,” he says, rubbing a hand over his mouth.

It’s that anxious tell of his again. You notice every time he does it.

“I have,” you admit. “I just didn’t know for sure what I was going to say until it was coming out of my mouth.”

Dean smirks a little. “Yeah, that sounds like you.”

You roll your eyes and sip your drink, crossing your arms as well. Dean considers you then, looking at you in a way that makes you raise a brow in question.

“What?” you ask.

“Nothing, it’s just…” He sits back against the bench and rubs his hands down his jean-clad thighs. “For the record, I did try to ask you out once.”

“What?” you scoff incredulously. “No, you’ve been with Lisa since the beginning.”

“Before Lisa,” Dean says.

He isn’t joking. He isn’t teasing. He’s serious as he stares back at you with those green eyes of his. Your brows furrow as you wrack your brain. Did he drunkenly leave you a voicemail on one of those “off again” episodes between him and Lisa? No. You know you’d remember something like that.

“It was a few weeks after the bachelor party,” Dean says. “I called you up, remember?”

Your eyes widen. Finally, that jogs your memory.

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.” And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition.

You have to laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Dean, you did not ask me out,” you say. “You wanted to hook up. There’s a distinct difference.”

Dean frowns at you. “No, I was. I invited you over—”

“For essentially some Netflix and chill,” you retort.

“Hey, I offered to make you dinner,” he argues. “I didn’t say anything about hooking up.”

You pause at that. His earnest denial makes you actually think back to what you remember about that conversation on the phone.

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.” And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition. “I could make us some burgers, toss in a couple of beers and a movie night,” he adds.

You cover your lips with your fingers as you begin to realize…

“That was you asking me out?” you ask incredulously.

Dean’s brows furrow and he throws his hands up. “What? Who doesn’t like a little movie night?”

“Dean,” you huff another laugh. “You could’ve made it sound more like a date.”

“Well, ‘scuse me. Sorry I couldn’t afford the Ritz at the time,” he grumbles.

You sigh. “That’s not what I meant.”

The more you think about it, the more you just shake your head at yourself. Why did you have to overthink it, like you do everything?

“Wow,” you say, softer and more contrite. “I honestly never thought…”

“Yeah,” he says. He shifts his gaze out ahead.

You glance over at him, now more unsure of yourself. He wouldn’t have any regrets, you think. He has Lisa. As much as they go at it, they always inevitably get back together. And now you know they hired a realtor. They’re about to start making solid steps forward.

But Dean surprises you with another question.

“Do you think if…”

He doesn’t finish it, but you think you know what he’s asking. You hesitate, your fingers flexing around your glass that beads with condensation. You set the glass down beside you. 

Just as you open your mouth to reply—

“All right, pie is cooling and dinner is served!” your mom calls out. Her head pokes out of the sliding glass door to the backyard. You offer a smile, trying to hide how you jolted in your seat.

“Okay, thanks, Mom,” you nod.

You turn back to Dean, who also hesitates. His eyes meet yours, but all too soon, he locks the moment away.

Bracing his hands on his knees, he rocks to his feet and goes out to get Robbie and help your dad bring in the fishing gear.

You grab Dean’s whiskey along with your tea on your way back inside the house. You consider the amber liquid disturbed in his glass, and you down the rest yourself. The burn down your throat is a good distraction. If he asks about it, you’ll say you got the glasses confused.

You know you’ll have to leave that conversation unfinished at the foot of the bench.

Now...

Benny comes by your apartment and helps you into the passenger side of his pickup truck, like the gentleman he is. He takes you to a nice restaurant in downtown, much nicer than the usual sports bar or kid-friendly restaurant. You're very much looking forward to eating at a restaurant that doesn't feature chicken fingers or "kiddie" corn dogs.

“This is gonna be really expensive,” you whisper to him, after he hands his keys over to the valet. 

Benny squeezes your hand in his, leaning over to kiss your temple. 

“Don’t you worry about that. We both deserve a night out.” His blue eyes gleam with amusement. However, his gaze gentles, becoming more sincere. “You work hard, carin’ for everybody around you. How about you let me take care of you for once.”

Your eyes begin to water, your throat constricting with emotion. You rub his arm gratefully.

“Thank you,” you say. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that.” 

It’s always easy with Benny. Nice and simple and easy. Nice, supportive, and considerate.

Nice and safe.

That thought follows you while you and Benny walk into to the restaurant. He’s reserved great seats in the back corner, overlooking a beautiful courtyard. It’s decorated with hydrangeas and light wood dining tables, all framed with a rod iron archway as the sun begins to set just so. After holding your chair out for you before he sits himself, Benny orders a bottle of champagne to kick things off.

He turns to you with a somewhat nervous look in his eyes, like he's steeling himself. It’s uncharacteristic of Benny, who’s always so calm and charming and sure of himself. It makes a zing of anticipation run down your spine, and…a dash of fear. You don’t know why, and you don’t know how to beat the feeling down as you fidget in your seat.

He subtly clears his throat, then takes your hand. “Sweetheart, I know I’m not all that good at the words you’re supposed to say. But I can say that the past three years with you and Robbie, it’s come to mean the world to me.”

Your smile softens. He brushes his thumb over the back of your hand, encouraged by your reaction.

“So I think it’s time I made it clear where I stand, and how much I want to be the man in your life,” he says.

Your eyes begin to widen in shock, but not for the reason he thinks.

“Dean,” you gasp.

Benny’s expression slackens. “What?”

You point over his shoulder, and Benny turns to follow your line of vision. Dean and Lisa have just walked into the restaurant. They notice you pointing their way, and they both pause in surprise as well. Lisa is beautiful as usual in a slinky black dress, completely backless (something you feel you could never pull off, unless you had an invisible bra to keep the girls perked up).

Dean is…well, you’ve very rarely seen him in a suit, but charcoal gray works for him. The open collar and white buttoned-down works for him, as do the three top buttons he’s left undone, showing a tantalizing strip of tanned skin. He stares back at you like he forgot you live in the same time zone, let alone the same zip code.

“Uh, hey!” he casts out an awkward wave, before he makes his way over to you and Benny. Lisa is less than enthused.

“We shouldn’t interrupt their night,” you catch her whisper to him, but Dean doesn’t seem to hear her.

“What’s up, party people! Of all the gin joints in all the world, huh?” Dean says, a little too loudly when he thumps Benny on the back. Benny grunts, giving a bit of a forced chuckle.

“Dean,” he greets. “I think I told you about this particular gin joint. Good to see you can actually clean up once in a while.”

“Ah, you know what, this monkey suit ain’t too bad,” Dean says, pulling at his collar.

You smirk in amusement. “Yeah, I remember how much you complained about wearing a simple tie for Robbie’s Christmas pageant.”

He smirks down at you. “Hey, ties still might not be my thing, but nothing wrong with a sharp collar.”

He pops his for emphasis. You don’t know why it makes you laugh, but it does. Maybe it’s just his face and the silly, endearing expression he makes when he pouts his lips in a “blue steel.”

“So, is this just a night out, or you guys celebrating something special?” Dean asks, gesturing at the champagne bottle and your full glasses of bubbly.

Benny gives his friend a certain look. “Yeah, as a matter of fact. Today’s three years.”

He takes your hand and kisses your knuckles. You smile back at him, though you’re a bit self-conscious at the way both he and Dean, and even Lisa have their attention on you.

“We should let you guys get back to it then,” Lisa says.

Honestly, it’s a relief. You and Benny nod, wishing them a goodnight.

For some reason, you notice how Dean’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. But he goes with Lisa, laying a hand on the small of her back. You force yourself to tear your eyes away from them and refocus on Benny. You take up your champagne glass and raise it in offering.

“All right, where were we?” you ask, if with a nervous trill in your belly.

Benny smiles. He takes up his glass and clinks it with yours.

Lisa nearly sighs. She and Dean are back in line at the front of the restaurant, waiting to be seated. The second time she catches Dean glancing over at the table where you and Benny sit, she shakes her head and digs into her purse for the valet card. She’s done with this.

“I think maybe we should go to a different restaurant,” she says.

That finally earns Dean’s attention, mostly confused. “What, why?”

She just gives him a long look.

He realizes that whatever her reasons are, it’s easier to just give in than to fight her on it. He’s learning when to pick his battles. Or is he just giving up?

Also, if tonight’s “the night” he thinks it is for you and Benny, maybe he doesn’t want to stick around after all. Three years, huh?

“All right, fine. Let’s go,” he agrees.

Dean and Lisa wait for the valet to bring the Impala around. The minute he gets behind the wheel and turns the key into the ignition, she changes her mind.

“Look, let’s just go home,” she says. “I don’t really feel like eating out anymore.”

Dean’s brows raise. “What? Aw, come on. We’re already dressed and everything. You look great, Lis. Just tell me where you wanna eat.”

Lisa remains firm, with a small shake of her head. “Please, Dean, just take me home.”

After a moment of indecision, Dean sighs. He revs the ignition and does as she says.

It’s only a fifteen-minute drive back to their apartment, but in that stifling silence, it seems to drag on for a small eternity. He glances at her a couple of times. Lisa has her arms crossed as she stares out the window, watching the other restaurants and mom-and-pops shops and forest trees and old houses of Lebanon, Kansas go by.

Dean counts it a blessing when they’re finally home. He walks up the few short steps up to their ground-floor apartment and unlocks the door. He flicks on the lights inside, and she breezes past him to toss her purse onto the couch.

Dean takes off his blazer and begins to undo the buttons on his cuffs. He watches her all the while, knowing that a storm is brewing. She shucks off her heels and slowly paces the living room on bare feet, like her whirling thoughts are fueling every step.

“All right, I give. What’s going on?” Dean asks. “What’d I do this time?”

She pauses, with her back turned to him.

Shit, he thinks. He shouldn’t have said it like that.

He prepares for the inevitable blow up, but it never comes. Lisa just heaves a sigh. Slowly she turns, and Dean’s shocked and dismayed to see the tears welling up in her deep brown eyes. He makes quick strides toward her, but she raises a hand to keep him at bay.

“Dean, when you picture yourself happy, truly happy,” she says. “Is it with me? Can you imagine yourself marrying me? Buying the house, having kids, growing old together?”

If Dean was thrown for a loop before, he’s even more stunned by her question. “Lis…”

“Just be honest, for once,” she pleads. Her tears begin to brim over, but she blinks, somehow keeping them at bay.

It’s a bit too long before Dean realizes that he can’t give her an answer. At least, not the one he knows she wants to hear.

When he thinks of that picture in his mind, of course he sees his son. But the only other person Dean can imagine there beside him is…

“I…” He wills his mouth to work, but nothing else comes out.

The only face he can conjure is yours. Your eyes are warm and welcoming, your smile as bright and contagious as your laugh.

The only voice he can hear is yours, gentle and strong at the same time.

The only one he can see is you.

He knows the shampoo you use and the perfume you like to wear, how the sweet and floral scents mix together and linger in your hair and on your skin.

Even now he remembers the contours of your body, and how it could fit so well against his. He knows that you used to try and hide your shape under loose, baggy shirts and cargo pants that did nothing for you. He knows how much courage it took you to wear that red dress to his brother’s party, because you told him once, at one of those Sunday dinners at your parents’ house.

Come to think of it, there’s not a whole lot that Dean doesn’t know about you, except maybe what you see when you look at him.

“You love her,” Lisa finishes for him. “I think you always have.”

Dean’s throat tightens. Somehow he swallows anyway, and he shakes his head. 

“Lisa, I loved you.”

“Maybe you did, in your own way,” she says, laughing a little through her tears as she wipes them away. “But you already have a family, Dean. Go fight for it.” 

Dean doesn’t know what to say, but he knows what he can do.

He goes to her and kisses her cheek. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says. 

Lisa merely nods, wiping her face dry. She watches Dean Winchester walk out of her apartment, and out of her life for good this time. 

Dean calls your cell, but it goes to voicemail. He drives all the way back to the restaurant and doesn’t find you or Benny there. 

Dean realizes that what he’s doing, what he plans to do, is not fucking cool. He wouldn’t blame you or even Benny for being severely pissed when Dean shows up. He also knows that he can’t let another day pass where he keeps lying to you, and himself. 

He eventually finds you at home. What’s weird is that Benny’s truck isn’t in the driveway—just your car. He knocks on your door, and he waits.

He unconsciously holds his breath while he waits in that terrible existence of limbo. However, his heart thrums back to life when he hears your footsteps drawing closer to the door. Anticipation, excitement, dread, it all roils together inside him like a bad cocktail as the door swings open.

And he’s once again rendered a bit breathless at the sight of you in that dress. The color alone appeals to him, let alone the way it accentuates your every curve, from full breasts to the swell of your hips, the softer slope of your thighs, and bare toes painted. You’re fucking delectable, every curve, and a temptation without you even meaning to be. 

You’re just…you’re still so goddamn beautiful, like the night he first saw you. Even now, he can almost feel the give of your thighs under his hands, his fingers pressed to supple flesh. 

But then he’s drawn to your face, and your wide eyes full of surprise. Your mascara is a bit smudged though. Your eyes are red too, like you’ve been crying. His brows furrow in concern.

“Dean, what’re you doing here?” you ask.

“I need to talk to you, but uh…did something happen?” he asks. “You okay?”

You’re reluctant to tell him. Did Benny say something to upset you? Or was it something he did?

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say.

Instinctively, Dean knows it’s a lie.

“This isn’t a good time though,” you say, after clearing your throat. “Can we do this tomorrow, maybe?”

Dean leans a hand on the doorframe.

“Please, it’s important,” he says. His eyes implore you harder than his words. Please.

That does it. A sigh passes through your lips, but you let him in. He knows Robbie is with your parents for the night, which actually makes this easier.

Once he steps inside the apartment, Dean does notice that your bedroom door is open. Half the drawers to your dresser are open too, and empty. Certain frames that used to be on your coffee table are no longer there, like the one of you, Benny, and Robbie on a camping trip. 

“You want some coffee, or soda?” you ask. 

Dean declines and grasps your arm before you can busy yourself into “hostess” mode. He leads you to the couch, where you both sit down together.

“What happened tonight?” he asks. “Where’s Benny?”

Your lower lip wobbles, the beginning of your telltale cry face. Dean knows his son gets it from you, and it always breaks his heart. He squeezes your arm gently, trying to ground you.

“Benny proposed to me tonight,” you confess, taking in a sharp breath. “He proposed, and I couldn’t give him an answer.” 

You shake your head as the tears sting hot in your eyes. 

“He got so upset, he just—he left!” You throw your hands up. “But honestly, I don’t blame him.”

Dean tries to comfort you as you try and fail to wipe at your face. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, cupping your cheek to brush the tears away himself. 

“Why couldn’t you answer him?” he asks. 

You look up at Dean, and you finally notice the shine of hope in his eyes. Dean touches your cheek more tenderly. 

“Does it mean I have a chance here?” he asks.

Despite what your eyes tell you, you still gape at him in shock. “What? But…what about Lisa?”

“It’s over. For good this time,” Dean shakes his head. “I realized what I wanted for my life, and where my heart is…”

And he chuckles weakly. “Truth is, you’ve had it the whole time, sweetheart.”

You begin to crumble all over again. You pull away from him and his touch, because you can’t believe it. You cover your face with your hands, sniffling as you try to make sense of his words, his touch, and the warm flutter threatening to brim happiness in your heart.

“God, Dean. You can't just..."

"I mean it," he insists.

You're still reluctant to take him seriously...no matter how much you want to. It's a conflicting realization that hurts, and makes you feel stupid for taking so long to figure it out, and makes you hate yourself for hoping his words are true.

"Come the morning, you’re going to change your mind,” you reason, without looking at him. “Like you’ve done with Lisa a thousand times.”

“No,” Dean says firmly. He shifts closer and prompts you to look at him, really look at him.

“Not about this, and you know it,” he says, catching and holding your gaze. “That’s why you couldn’t say yes to Benny. Because you know what we’ve got. It’s the real deal.”

You still look uncertain, even though you can’t bring yourself to pull away this time. Dean has always had this way of looking into the very depths of you, like he can actually see every thought as it passes through your mind.  

“I should’ve said yes,” you say. “I can rely on Benny. I know he would stay by my side, and…and I know he won’t hurt me.”

Not like I’ve just hurt him, you think. Guilt still pricks at your heart. The last thing you ever wanted to do was lead him on, and yet, that’s what you’d done, wasn’t it? You thought you had loved him. You’re sure that you did, but maybe it just wasn’t the kind of love that could reach down deep and grab you, set your blood on fire, and make you ache when the burn was gone.

That spark licks across your skin when Dean takes your hands.  

“What if I want to be that guy for you,” he says.

You allow yourself to look at him. Really look at him.

You know Dean. When he gets an idea in his head, it inhabits every bone and shred of muscle in his body. There’s no mistaking his resolve, or the steady grip of his hands over yours.

“If you let me, I’ll stay. I won’t leave you,” he says. In his eyes, there’s a firm promise. “I can be the guy you rely on. The man you can trust. The man who’s gonna love you, come whatever. Because now I know what it means. I know how it feels.”

You bite your lower lip against the smile that wants to surface.

“Are you sure?” you ask.

Dean smiles for you. “If you wanna know the truth, I’m pretty sure I’ve been loving you since the day I heard Robbie’s heartbeat for the first time.” 

Your tears flow harder at that. A shaky breath escapes you, though it does nothing to steady you. Dean strokes your cheek gently with his thumb. 

“Please, just give me this one chance,” he asks. Begs, really. 

He doesn’t have to though. You nod, just a little. 

“Okay,” you agree. “Let’s try.”

Dean's smile spreads slow, but warm across his face. It’s your favorite kind, the kind that crinkles his eyes. 

He leans in and claims your lips with his own. The passion of it is familiar, but you don't think it’s the same as five years ago. Now, there’s an underlying note of tenderness in his touch and each new way he tastes you deeper. He holds nothing back this time, and neither do you. 

Your fingers tangle in his shirt, and then in his hair as you moan into his mouth. “Dean.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he answers against your lips, though he doesn’t give you much room to keep talking.

You haven’t heard him call you sweetheart in a long time. You feel your heart knitting back together, stitch by stitch. Tears sting in your eyes anew, but you squeeze your eyes shut against them.

“I…”

You can’t even continue the breathless thought. You hold his face desperately between your hands, pressing your forehead to his for a moment as you both catch your breath. But this man is like the sweetest, most seductive vice. Now that you’ve gotten another hit, you can’t resist. You no longer want to.

His arms wrap around you more securely, and he leans in to lure you back into his kiss. His tongue breaches past your lips to curl along yours with tantalizing strokes. His hands slowly move down your back and along your waist.

“Mmm, missed the hell outta this,” he groans into your mouth. Your heart flutters again at the way he holds you, the way his big hands squeeze you and feel you.

You let him guide you down onto the sofa cushions. He slots himself between your bare thighs and runs his hand up familiar smooth skin, bunching the skirt of your dress higher as he goes. He aims to get himself reacquainted with every soft part of you that welcomes him back.

For once, the gates around your hearts swing free. 

Dean never imagined that his own son would hand him the ring he gives to his wife, but today, it just feels like symmetry. He grins and winks at Robbie.

“Thanks, buddy,” Dean says.

His son’s beaming grin is wide and toothy, but the boy takes his job very seriously and delivers the other ring to you. You smile brightly and caress his cheek after you take the shining, white gold band from him. It matches the thinner band that Dean has for you; it'll soon join the engagement ring that once belonged to his mother.

Robbie had liked Benny a lot, but he loves his dad. He’s probably the happiest person in the room to see his parents take each other’s hands in front of the minister. 

Benny is understandably absent in the chapel today. You had met with him after that night of your botched anniversary to apologize to him, and so had Dean. Benny understood. He’d admitted that in the back of his mind, he feared this might happen.

“I wouldn’t blame you for being angry with me,” you said to him. “You can even hate me if you want.” Benny gave you a wry, melancholy sort of smile. “Part of me’s still mad at you, I won’t lie…but there’s no use in it. Not even hating you.”

Even though Benny bowed out, carrying his hurt and his grief on those broad shoulders, letting you go meant letting go of a friend too. He put in his paperwork to transfer out of Firehouse 83.

As he’d told Dean himself that day, and in fact, the last words Benny said to him…

“There you go, Lieutenant. A spot’s just opened up.”

Dean didn’t want to get promoted this way. He felt guilty enough as it was, and not just for Benny leaving the firehouse. Benny recommended Dean to the Chief himself though, saying that if they were going to give someone a Lieutenant’s badge, it may as well be the guy who got a perfect score on his test, and had the natural leadership skills to boot.

To the end, Benny was a gentleman.

Now, Sam beckons his nephew over. Robbie quickly goes to his uncle’s side and puffs his little chest out as he stands proud behind his dad. 

Dean is able to take you in, your beautiful white dress, and everything about you that makes him smile…including the way you smile back at him.

Man and wife is all he hears. It’s all he needs to hear, before he’s pulling you closer by your newly anointed hand. He dips you for a thorough kiss in front of all your family and friends. 

You squeal in surprise, making Dean smile hard enough for his cheeks to hurt. Giggling hard enough to make you tremble, you raise a hand to caress his cheek. But you give him another real kiss after he guides you back up to your feet.

“I love you,” you whisper against his lips. The words are just for him to hear. Dean pulls back enough to see the truth shining in your eyes. Beautiful.

“Can’t help it, right?” he teases. 

You smile in amusement, but you grab his chin and shake it. 

“You got me,” you reply. “I really, really can’t.”

Your beaming smile softens. Even though the entire room is clapping and hooting and hollering in celebration, in that moment, all you really see is Dean. 

Here in his arms, you know that this is where you were meant to end up. From now on, it’s where you’re meant to be.

AN: From Lisa and Benny to Robbie and everything in between. Dean and the reader certainly aren't perfect in this, but what do you think about how their story unfolded? I truly hope you guys enjoy this one, because I've had so much fun with it. 🥰❤️❤️‍🔥

So please let me know what you thought! 😘

⋆˙⟡ Keep Reading: The Epilogue

"Shall I stay? Would it be a sin, if I can't help falling in love with you?"

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@luci-in-trenchcoats @lamentationsofalonelypotato @winchestergirl2 @deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373

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@deanbrainrotwritings @alwaystiredandconfused @supernotnatural2005 @redhoodieone

[madabapf]

THAT LAST UPDATE

excuse me but that was so cruel /pos playing with our emotions like that

Like—

First of all what a fricking CUTIEEE

Second—

SOOOOOOFFFTTT 😭😭 GOSH. UGH. They way he strokes his cheek and ears and it looks like he’s holding him so gently that nearly made my heart hurt

AND THEN—

AND THEN IT DIIIIID THAT WAS WILD HELLO???? I didn’t expect this when I saw the warning tag but it did not disappoint this is— MUAH ✨chef’s kiss✨

I love it when we can see how Wukong’s trauma haunts him. Call me Wukong biased (😗) but I love watching him suffer emotionally and seeing how said trauma affects him, especially when he feels utterly guilty about it it makes the yearning soo much better 😈

And lastly—

ugh, pfft, wha— augh, who— he— HIM. HE’S SO HANDSOME. PRETTY BOY. THE PRETTIEST. 💥💥💥 You draw the monkies in such a way that got us like 👀 heheh

—

Aside from these initial reactions… this is sad. They shared a moment the night prior where their bond definitely grew in some way, and Mac is gone, after the fact that seeing Mac’s unglamoured form triggered Wukong’s nightmare. I wonder whats going on in Macaque’s head. He could’ve stayed… no harm would have been done —unless he witnesses Wukong’s rude awakening— but he didn’t so there was definitely a motive there. This is such a good update, totally worth the wait (which btw, not a problem!). I look forward to the next!! To see wtf these gay monkies do to <i> not </i> talk about it or address ANYTHING and pretend like everything is ok 😄 (😑)

(Thank you for this wonderful comic thus far, its fun, heart wrenching, engaging, and the art is BEAUTIFUL 💖)

Ahhhh tysm!! <333 i'm really glad you liked it :D

i was a bit scared it would be too much but i'm glad to see people are enjoying it hehe

also hit the nail on the head with that last take, lotta emotions happening here with these traumatised monkeys o7

[redwinewhiteroses]

What are their thoughts about you?

You can try this reading for romantic AND platonic connections. I have included romantic messages but you can always just omit them when checking for a friendship or a familial relationship. However I made this reading specifically for romantic connections.

Image 1

Queen of Cups, Nine of Cups, Nine of Wands reversed, The Moon, Four of Wands | The Devil

Happy, Happy rev/Loyal Heart rev/Give your relationship a chance/Getting to know each other

They think you are an incredibly compassionate person. They know that you are very gentle and loving as a person. You treat people with kindness and you consider people's feelings at all times, and you are never reckless when it comes to dealing with anything that involves emotions. They think that you have a lot of love to give to the world and at the same time you are secure with great self-love as well. You radiate love all around you effortlessly and you care genuinely. They also think that you forgive easily or has a soft spot for loved ones, and you might be sensitive when it comes to matters of the heart. You might have a delicate nature and you might be artistic too.

They think that you might be serious about loyalty and relationships, and the very fact makes them think that being loved by you will be healing and nurturing, and anybody who has your attention is incredibly lucky to be blessed by your healing presence. They see you as someone who deeply embodies femininity and quiet grace.

You might remind them of their mother sometimes, if not it's the warmth you have maybe in your words, presence, thoughts and expressions that remind them of motherly and pure love.

They think you are mature, the way you deal with problems with compassion and understanding. Maybe you don't judge anyone on a whim and you don't arrive at conclusions without proper consideration. This nature of yours put them at ease and makes them feel accepted. They might also feel safe in your presence. Your behaviour, character and the way you present yourself makes them think that you might become a good mother someday or you already are. Even if you are not, you might have that effect on people and they really appreciate that.

If you are already in a relationship, then they are so proud to have you by their side and really grateful too. I heard proud to call you mine. Your value is well-known to them, that is obvious. They believe they won when it comes to you and that they have gained everything they could possibly want from a romantic partnership. You might be a wish fulfillment for them. Maybe they wanted you for so long and to know that they can finally have you brings them a ton of satisfaction and appreciation for you. You bring them a lot of pleasure. There's a lot of satisfaction in your relationship.

For those of you aren't already in a relationship with this person, they want to win your heart somehow😭 I don't know if they will act on it or how quick they want to, but they are trying to attract you and manifest you into their life somehow. It is because of the belief they have of your value. They know that you will add to their life and make them feel better in every possible way.

They can see that you love yourself and know your worth and they are aware of it too. They can see it and they absolutely love how much self-respect you have. Even if you are someone who is more introverted or shy, they think you are confident in your own unique way. They can't help but see that, the quiet grace and strength you possess whilst being soft and gentle.

They might think you are successful too, in one specific way or in many ways. One thing that really stands out is the value they see in you. They see great value, maybe you are exactly who they were looking for all this time, or they think that what you have and who you are as a person is undoubtedly the ideal partner for anyone who wishes to experience love. There's a lot of admiration for you in their eyes.

I'm thinking of this scenario, let's just say you are playing a match, a sports event of some kind and your person is on the sidelines watching you and they are like That's my girl! with visible satisfaction written all over their face. That's so adorable :)

I get this feeling that for very few of you this person could be a secret admirer of yours. I'm thinking of Ladybug and Cat Noir typa situation😄 where you both are oblivious of the fact that you crave and admire each other. So instead of initiating a relationship you still look at each other and think your union is a very difficult reality to achieve and to win you is only a dream; a dream that obviously brings a lot of contentment and joy.

However you might act defensive at times. Maybe you are just protective of your energy. Maybe you are not open to relationships right now or you are just not ready. They think you are wounded in some way, weak and way too exhausted due to something. I wonder if you've given up something recently. It's also like you do not wish to pour your energy into things you believe won't work. Maybe your person is paranoid that you might not even give them a chance. They feel very let down. I wonder if they think that you don't have enough energy right now, maybe you have a lot going on in your life.

They also think you are a bit hesitant or maybe it's them. I think your past experiences doesn't allow you to trust anyone easily or you got hurt badly and now your boundaries are pretty strong. They sense a feeling of subtle fear, hurt and powerlessness from you. I wonder if you are running away from this person for some reason.

There's something standing between the both of you and I think it's hurting you both. They might think that you are fragile in some way and that you are in need of protection. Someone might have an avoidant attachment style in relationships.

There's this slightest hint of trauma and painful memories here. A bit of fear and a lack of clarity too. They think unlocking joy is possible with you but they think something is missing. It's like they can't see everything about you. There is something that they haven't yet figured about you or it's just worry standing in the way of happiness.

For some of you, they might think that ultimate happiness with you is an illusion and they might not be able to have it. Or it's just doubt, fears and nervous energy thinking it will all go wrong. They think you have to be more open if you intend to deepen this relationship. Can we have everything we want, a happy ending to this chapter and then begin the next together? This seems to be a constant thought on their mind.

Another thing I'm getting is this person might be living in a different country; a long distance relationship. So they think that things will only work out when you finally close the distance between you.

Finally they think you should let go of worrying and try to cheer up. Maybe try to let go of whatever is hurting you.

I can't help but think something. Take this only if it resonates. There could've been past cheating or betrayal of some kind between you and this person, because of which they think happiness isn't as easy to gain with you. I wonder if lies were spoken or some form of deception or concealing information happened here. There's a little hesitation when it comes to relaxing, enjoying or being lighthearted with you.

With the devil being at the bottom, nine of wands, moon and the oracle card reversals make me think that there is an illusion of some kind. Addiction, obsession or some toxic attachment might be relevant to you or them. Even issues that relate to mental health struggles.

However if you don't share a history with this person, it's mostly just doubt and anxiety they feel about the future of this connection. They are looking for clarity and wondering about the chances of having a potential commitment with you but at the same time questioning if they could/should trust you; if their loyalty will be returned and if it's time to be happy and rejoice.

Other confirmation messages :

Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aries, Capricorn, Jupiter in Pisces, Neptune placements, Chiron placements, Venus in Aries, Exalted Jupiter

Trophy wife/husband

Past mistakes should not be repeated

"Love is when you protect each other"

Drugs, addictions and unhealthy obsessions

Stalker vibes (but mostly secret admirer vibes)

"Hiding your truth"

"We should be more honest to each other"

Unhealthy attachment styles

Being attracted to partners who heal past scars

Bleed on people who didn't cut you

Image 2

Five of Wands, The Hierophant, Death, Seven of Wands reversed, Ten of Swords reversed | Eight of Cups reversed

Orphaned/A leg up/Message in a bottle reversed/Religious factors/Reconciliation

A little disclaimer here, if you are asking about someone with whom you have a smooth relationship with little to no conflict, then this isn't the group for you. You should DEFINITELY choose another.

For others who know deep down that you've chosen the correct group according to your situation, please be kind to yourself and try to be kind with this person you are asking about too. Healing is possible and everything is going to get better. Please try to cultivate peace and love. With that being said, let's get in to your reading.

These thoughts are really heavy. There's a lot of conflict here. They probably fought with you constantly or you did. So their thoughts about you are tainted with contempt or more so anger.

There might've been a divorce, an ending or a great strife between you and this person. This conflict still goes on in their mind even despite physical separation.

Hatred is a strong word, I don't think they hate you, but they find it hard to forgive themselves or you.

There could've been disagreements or compatibility issues in your relationship that caused you both to be at each other’s throats.

Differences in spiritual practices, religious beliefs, culture, family traditions or even elders influencing your relationship with this person might be one of the causes of this deep running conflict.

Your beliefs could've been significantly different, even morals, ideals and expectations of life might not have aligned well. If you took one step forward, they might've disagreed with you on that, if you took one step backward they still would've disagreed. What I'm trying to say is that there's no way you could've won, and there's no way they could have won. There's no winner here, but you both want to be one.

It's like that. A constant pull and push, unwilling to compromise, and not grounded enough to acknowledge mistakes. They think that in whatever way you involve yourself with them, it always inevitably end in more chaos.

For some of you, this could be an elder, a parent figure or mentor that you are asking about. For others this is a marriage or a commitment you once had. A marriage proposal maybe was turned down or called off.

There is no doubt that this has been a life changing event for both parties involved. I don't think this was easy for you or them, but now they might believe that this was for the best. They think that maybe this separation was a blessing in disguise and an opportunity to move forward with a fresh start; to find people, places and situations that truly align with you and them.

I wonder if some of you are asking of a deceased person, I don't read messages about that, so I won't dive deep into details.

They are tired of thinking or feeling. They have given up truly. They feel judged, defeated and they are doubting themselves and right now they are doubting you and every one. This might sound harsh, but they have lost faith. They have stopped fighting after fighting for too long. Now they have finally come to a realization that it was a waste of time, energy and resources to engage in conflict. It's not even about admitting defeat anymore, they are just DONE.

They might be receiving a lot of criticism from their family and loved ones including you and a lot of hate from strangers too. You could be experiencing similar reactions too.

There might've been overstepped boundaries here. Taking things too far comes to mind. What started as a small problem or a fight might've escalated into a web of misunderstandings and conflict, soon leaving no place to exit peacefully. Two conflict cards in one reading, repeating 5s, two major arcana and all the cards here indicate a lot of unresolved conflict, friction and hopelessness. Their thoughts of you are clouded with chaos; they can't even start tackling them, it's a huge mess to handle.

But the worst is over, they have just begun the process of regenerating. There's a long way to go and it's definitely not a beginning they have, they have just escaped ruin. They are in a complete disaster. I wonder if you have betrayed them or they were betrayed by someone they trusted the most. They have finally accepted their fate, understood their mistakes and failures.

This person could be in jail too or serving a sentence of some kind.

They feel a deep sense of loss, like they don't belong where they once used to. They feel unsupported, but support is the very thing they need right now.

They think that making peace about this situation is the only thing they could do right now.

They fear a lot of things; they fear the good things and the bad things. They might be avoiding you but it's not just you. Whatever this conflict has been about it has impacted their entire personal life and wellbeing.

All in all, their thoughts about you are in a negative light and I believe it will remain this way for a while. They are hurting a lot and you might be too.

This song, the lyrics might have something you need to know.

Other confirmation messages :

Leo, Taurus, Scorpio, Aries, Saturn in Leo, Saturn in Aries(Debilitated saturn), Gemini, Aquarius, Libra, Debilitated 7th lord, Mars in 1, 4, 7th houses, North Node in 1st house, NN and SN in the 1/7 axis, Weak jupiter or moon, Sun in 7th house, Fire dominant

"Red flags are not pretty decorations for you to admire; they are warning you for a reason." (From the oracle guidebook)

Anger issues/Repressed anger

Unresolved problems due to miscommunication or lack of communication

My way or the highway

Failing to compromise

Ego clashes

A significant commitment

Grave consequences

Left or right?

Confusion and indecision

Deeply hurt and feeling betrayed

I do not feel understood at all

Burning fire

Unsupportive family/friends/circle

African/Indigenous/South African/New Zealand/Aboriginal person/Native American

You shared a special song with this person, and at one point of time it was your song

Too far gone/Gone girl? (Movie maybe)

Contempt

Conspired together to bring someone down

All hope is lost

Competing with your partner

It never gets easy. I give up

Self-expression and need to be recognised

Doesn't get each other

Problems within an institution affecting you and this person

Marriage set up by elders against your wishes

Patience, love and understanding is required

Grew up alone/Missed family most of the time

Religious disputes, family being related to a specific religious position in society

Family clans or something? (Thinking of China, Japan, Korea, Philippines too)

Catholicism

That is all for your reading. I know it was a bit heavy and painful, but those were the messages that came through. Now the circumstances for everyone who chose this group will vary in intensity, although the thoughts and feelings remain quite the same.

Please, please be gentle with yourself 🩷

Image 3

Ten of Cups, King of Cups, Queen of Cups, Temperance, Justice | Three of Cups

Milk and Honey/To be fair reversed/Mending reversed/ Stay optimistic about your love life/This could be the one

The amount of cup cards here is crazy. These are not thoughts they have of you, these are feelings 💌😭 They too run deep.

Reminds me of this post I saw somewhere. The difference between these phrases is huge in a writer's pov,

I love you

I love you

I love you

I love you

Do you see it? I really hope you do, cause it's so wholesome and heartwarming. Thoughts with deep feelings etched to them is what's going on here.

All the tarot cards here in one way or the other speaks of counterparts, soulmates and destined partners, feel free to use whatever term you believe in. Your person thinks you are the one. Period. There is no doubt in that🙈 Also mirroring energy is quite strong here, so I'm thinking you too could have similar thoughts and feelings towards them. 10, 11, 14, 9 could be significant.

They feel protective of you. When they think of you, their heart probably breaks a little, not with sadness, but with the sheer intensity of their adoration for you, maybe they even shed a tear in secret🤭 They are soft for you.

They are committed to you mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, you name it, in all ways they are yours. All that they have, they are yours. That is what they think of you. They are loyal af. They only have eyes for you.

If you are not already in a commitment with them, they want it right now. It's not even a question to them, they just know you are the one for them and I'm pretty sure looking at these cards, you are in a happy relationship with this person you are asking about. If not you might see the possibility of a great connection yourself. Their feelings are pure and very clear. They love you like they love no other.

Oh my gosh, leave the reading and go listen to this song, this is exactly what's on their mind. This is what they'll tell you 😭

I'm wondering if this is someone's first love, like you both could be the first love for one another. I'm thinking of teen romance too. Honestly feels like an all-consuming love. Feels like sweets, candy and ice cream. 🥰🍬🍭🍨

They crave love and marriage with you and they dream of building a family with you. They want that fairytale ending with you, the happily ever after. There is a vision of having a beautiful future with you, fulfilling all of your desires whilst achieving their own dreams and having a lasting relationship with you. They feel a strong sense of connection with you and a deep sense of belonging when they spend time with you. You bring deep emotional fulfillment to them, one look at you and probably their day is fixed and all their worries gone, in just an instant.

They might want to spend all their time with you, in fact if given the choice they would be incredibly happy just to be by your side from morning to night. They probably are by your side right now, probably cuddling or holding your hand or something haha. I don't think they'll leave you alone even for a brief while. Man, they are in love with you, they won't ducking leave you even to go to the grocery store😂 If they are given the choice, they'll happily be your shadow.

Happy wife, happy life comes to mind. You know the phrase Dylan Sprouse says to Barbara. You might even have a relationship dynamic like that. Your person might be your biggest hype man, maybe they are not that vocal about it, but believe me they are.

You really make them want to have kids with you. You know that clip where Ryan Gosling says that he knew he didn't want to have kids with no one else, but with Eva Mendes or something like that. Your person might have had a realization similar to that. They have actually had many realizations about you, group 3.😅 I'm so sure of it. Those are beautiful realizations actually.

Also all these celebrity couples makes me wonder if you are one yourself haha. I mean there's this slightest chance you are. Or maybe there's already a lot of eyes on you and your relationship. The connection you share with each other is so profound that it might pique people's interests all the time.

They are devoted to you, gentle with you in all possible ways, probably cooks for you and feeds you. Woah they just love taking care of you. At the end of the day, they just want to listen to you about how your day went. Reminds me of Benny Blanco making it all about Selena in every way possible way. They just want you to be happy. You are their sun and their whole world revolves around you. You are their happiness, all they want and need.

You might be married to this person, at least few of you who pick this group. This person is all about family. They are a good person through and through, probably a little sensitive but has a heart of gold. Values your commitment deeply, but most importantly values you over anything else. Would probably jump into a fire to save you. They are locked in.

Probably highly compassionate, talks to you softly and tries to understand you patiently at all times. They try their best to be the man/woman you want.

They might just get you, intuitively. They just know what to give you, how you want it and when you want it. It comes naturally to them. Their love for you is obvious and their only hope is for you to receive it.

They might show up in a very balanced masculine and feminine way. So in one time they will show up in an incredibly refined feminine(we are talking about energy here, not gender) way; taking care of you and healing you with the softest touch, and another time they'll be by your side being protective in the most direct and assertive way possible. But every time they show up, they do so with love. Maybe you are this way too.

You guys probably might share a creative hobby of some kind, maybe you play/listen to music together, create art together or something like that and they deeply enjoy the time you spend with them doing activities like that.

I do believe that they just love spending time with you at home. Maybe you both are a bit introverted and homebodies. You might balance each other in a beautiful way. Everytime you spend time with each other, they feel a sense of purpose and ease about living life.

With all these thought mixed feelings they have of you, there's also their rational mind making a conscious effort to always do the right thing. They think you deserve fairness and honesty above all. I believe they give so much importance to your worth and it's always one of their priorities to honour that and always treat you fairly. They are incredibly honest with you because they know you deserve that. I'm pretty sure they would always want to share everything with you; their thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories etc. What I'm trying to say is they will bare their soul to you so that nothing is hidden from you. They value transparency, and they either think you are like that already or they just really appreciate that quality. They just wanna do right by you.

There's a strong commitment shown in these cards. Loyalty and honor so powerful you'll feel respected at all times. You might already know this and if you don't, they'll make sure to let you know through their words and actions continuously, not to convince you, but only because this is all they wish to do in this lifetime; to be by your side and treat you right, love you with all that they have.

There's a final message for some of you. Maybe you are not in it as much as they are. The number of times balance showed up in this reading is uncanny. Makes me wonder if you are not as invested in this as much as them. Or it's just that you haven't quite succeded in giving them the same fairness that they have provided you. Nothing wrong with you, it's just that your person is very abundant, so even if you are giving a lot back to them, it still feels less in comparison.

They might be trying to be even more optimistic about you and this connection. They are having faith about love, and so should you. Maybe this is something they want you to know.

Also they probably think you'll be their last. Maybe that message holds a lot of significance to someone here. They might've said it to you.

Other confirmation messages :

Cancer, Pisces, Sagittarius, Libra, Gemini, Exalted Jupiter(Jupiter in cancer), Venus in Cancer, Venus in Scorpio, Exalted Venus(Venus in Pisces), Jupiter nakshatras in big 3, Moon or Jupiter in 1st house, Venus in 4th or 7th house, Venus in Taurus or Libra, Sun-Moon synastry(ex you are a cancer moon and they are a cancer sun), Venus, Moon, Jupiter in good dignity in 1,4,7,10 houses

Sensuality, connection, and passionate romance between lovers; sweet moments of understanding; and love among friends and family are all here for you to savor now. Your heart's calling will be answered. Let your thoughts and feelings be sweet with gratitude and you will be nourished with the honey of abundance. (From the oracle guidebook)

Morticia Addams and Gomez

Reciprocity is a beautiful thing in love and relationships

You make me wanna be a better person

True romantic at heart

Divine timing is at play here

You are the exact person/partner/lover they have been looking for all this time

Feels so right

Mexican, Mexican-American, South American, Eastern Europe

Highschool sweethearts

Friends to Lovers

Love to drink together? (Sorry, that's so random lol)

Has a cosy TV show you watch together

Justin Bieber fans

Model career

Until my last breath

Undeniable chemistry

Poetry/Poetic/Love letters

Two peas in a pod

Met at school/college/college party

Different ethnic backgrounds, but similar temperaments

The color burgundy and black (Goth subculture)

Recently married/engaged

Honeymoon

Drinks (A special drink that is symbolic)

Magic, Alchemy, Shamanism?

Cuban islands/Tropical island

The Moon Embracing the Sun korean drama

Complete each other's sentences

Dreams of each other

Holy Matrimony

Loving parents to kids

Building a cosy home together

Loves cosy gaming/Playing games together

This is a request. Please, please, please listen to the songs. You just really need to hear them🥹🩷

That's everything I have for you. Take good care of yourself and have a beautiful day! 💐🦋🌷✨️

[cozymochi]

Hey Cozy! Saw your most recently answered ask about Nyoka and wondered. How much would someone or thing have to push him to actually show or use his fangs? Or use his unique magic on them. Basically, how much would it take for him to actually go off? Since he's not a hot head, I assume it would be a lot.

Also, what about Emilio and Cecil or Tia? How much would it take for them to go off on someone, and would they use their unique magic/Grim (or any physical object within reaching distance for the lovely magicless Tia) in that situation?

(Apologies if this has been answered before! I couldn't remember if it was or not.)

Anyway, thank you for sharing these wonderful characters with us! And for putting up with us and our questions. 😌 Hope you have a wonderful day/night!

(i like questions, they keep me sustained 😭💖 I was gonna draw for everything but I kinda. Hurt. Anyway-) Prev Ask in question /// Unique Magic/Signature Spells

I’m not sure… he puts up with a lot already every day. It’s very hard to get him to bear fangs at all, he’s just not going to no matter how much he’s goaded. He’ll certainly threaten it, but he doesn’t want to actually do it. He puts being dignified above that. That’s a last resort defense if truly cornered, and he would be very unhappy (and lowkey embarrassed) if it resorted to that without a justifiable reason. He’d have to really be taken by surprise, which also isn’t easy to do. Unless, like…. Someone like Grim was suddenly lobbed at his head out of nowhere—

Who can prep for that? But, I suppose it would vary. He’s not as bite-happy as one would think.

Nyoka’s UM in itself isn’t very practical in terms of being beneficial to him consistently, so there isn’t much incentive for him to use it. Unless he was playing very dirty for some reason and knows what kind of person he’s targeting— and don’t get me wrong, he’s not above that sort of thing. There’s just no reason for him to want to use it. It’s just not subtle enough and risky. Somebody else more ambitious might find making others act unscrupulous against their will useful though.

Cecil mostly takes the any of the shit given to him with sarcasm or grumbles to himself, but he’s an opportunist. IF given the shot to retaliate in a dirty way, and he isn’t having a second-guessing moment then he is more than willing to shut somebody up via freezing them like a statue. They won’t be having a good time when their eyes dry out from not being able to blink /hj. God forbid being on the receiving end of a spell screw-up from him too at that. With how sarcastic he is, it seems like everything bothers him all the time to some degree.

Emilio is already a mess, stepping on his boots might be enough to get him upset to the point of retaliation /hj. Like Cecil, he’s an opportunist so if there’s a chance to play dirty he will. His UM is not useful in this kind of scenario though. If Emilio feels his abilities in some way are being underestimated or disregarded it’ll probably just turn into a stupid competition to prove his superiority. Despite how he wants to present himself he is a bit hot-headed and his retaliations might be disproportionate in scale. “This person touched my coffee mug, so I took their kidneys” headass. (Disclaimer: not literal, but that’s the energy)

The first thing Tia did when summoned to Twisted Wonderland - aside from run from Grim - was scream and lob nearby objects at Crowley when he found her. He still holds this act of violence against him to this day. Tia gets bothered pretty easily and will speak up about it or try defending herself in some way. She also hates being underestimated and thanks to her tunnel-vision may jump into situations she’s not equipped for at all just to prove a point— then regret it almost immediately. She tries to stay composed and usually she will be, but she can get cranky if pushed too far.

She’s the prefect, I think the “what” in this scenario speaks for itself. She’s at NRC. Her friends are the principle cast. It’s over.

[ricefamine]

Luffy x fem!reader

Warnings: jealous luffy(˶˃ᆺ˂˶)

Fluff💕

Blue: you

Red: luffy

Orange and pink : nami and sanji

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

It was time to get on another island again! But this time you were paired into groups by nami. Luffy was with zoro, usopp was with nami, robin was with franky, and you were with sanji! Luffy wasn't really happy that you were paired with sanji, but he usually never got jealous so why does he feel like this right now?

"Hey nami.. can I go with (name) instead?"

"What why?! Just go find food luffy!"

Fortunately for nami he still went with zoro but he didn't look to happy.. he really just wanted to be with you! Why did he feel so annoyed about sanji going with you? And for you sanji was flirting with you the whole time! You didn't really mind because sanji was always like this but you preferred to be with luffy.

"OHH (name)-CHANN LET ME GET RID OF THIS FOR YOU!"

"I can do it myself you know.."

After the hunting luffy ran to you and hugged you.

"HI (name)!!! HOW MUCH FOOD DID YOU GET?!"

"I got a lot lu!"

"LET ME SSEEE!!"

He wasn't excited for food (well he was..) but he was excited to see you, he loved seeing you happy, he loved how kind you were he loved everything about you!

"Hey (name) dinners ready! Come sit next to me!"

You always sat next to him at dinner and you always got extra food from him.

"Luffy I already ate that.."

"Well the one I have tastes extra good so just try ittt!"

"Oh fine."

You always ate what he gave you it made him happy seeing you enjoy something he enjoys. After dinner you washed the dishes with sanji, luffy was jealous again but he doesn't understand why.

"(Name) can you come with me?"

"Oh yeah sure luffy let me just finish th-"

"No. You're coming with me now."

You always liked when he said stuff like that, it was pretty attractive.

"(Name) I don't like you being around sanji.)

"But why? He's not really doing anything lu."

"I just don't like it okay.. can you maybe ignore him a little.."

"Sure lu but just so you know sanjis harmless and I always turn him down."

"Thank you (name)"

You guys cuddled after that and you forgot about the dishes you had to finish cleaning the next day you got scolded by nami but it was worth it, at least you got to cuddle with the only boy you want.

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

I made this post for luffys birthday lol I hope this was good!! My last luffy post got a lot of notes😭 so thank you for that!!

[xylatox]

New girl next door || ‘02 Line

Rei is back guys and is feeding us with a lovely enha fic (^^ゞ

But then there's this, a blank slate, this house that smells of dust and potential, waiting for you to make it yours. It's a mix of excitement and fear of starting something that feels big and important but full of unknowns. — So glad to be able to read a rei fic again, i missed her words.

I love how the boys are introduced but as the mc rightfully says at the end there really is a strange feeling. Like i feel that you actually captured the vibe well rei :)

Kai and Tyun cameo :(( my babies, they are so cute — "I told you to marry rich," Kai adds, popping a gummy bear into his mouth. — you just have to love Kai

Taehyun smirks. "So which one's the tsundere? There's always one." — i giggled, i just love that he knows

"I see we're operating on shared delusion," you mutter, but you're already stepping aside and holding the door open. "Fine. Come in. But if one of you eats all the Oreos from my pantry, I'm changing the Wi-Fi password you don't even have yet." — i love her

I also love how well you managed to capture the 02z dynamic/vibe

Jake's now halfway through the cookies. "You should join us for dinner sometime. Jay usually cooks. Sunghoon critiques it. I set the mood." — every time jake says something i cant help but laugh

I love the moment with Hoon at night, its actually really sweet despite his distant behaviour.

You learned quickly that mornings with them had their own rhythm: Jay always ordered something complicated with substitutions, Sunghoon barely ate but stole bites from other people's plates, and Jake talked enough for all three of them combined. — i love yapper Jake. I just love how this is written. It makes me so happy.

"Hey. So, um—" He glanced back over his shoulder like he was checking to ensure no one was watching. "Jay's making dinner tonight. Actual dinner, not just ramen and regret." — i love him so bad actually.

Kai let out a low whistle. "It's happening. She's starting a harem." — i laughed out loud, havent heard that word in a while.

"Oh, did you know," he said, resting his chin in his palm like he was about to share state secrets, "that Jay once tried to make gnocchi from scratch and cried when it turned out grey?" — another laugh came out of me, i didnt expect that.

HELLO??? JAKE STARING AT HER??

REI I GASPED. HEESEUNG? MY BABY 😭😭No but my question is, did Hee really just go to the first house he saw and knocked to ask about her?

Jay didn't let him finish. He stepped forward briefly, placing a protective hand on your shoulder. "I'm her boyfriend," he said, his voice carrying a subtle yet undeniable firmness. "Can't I just hang out with my girl and my bros simultaneously without some sleazy ex disturbing us?" — i feel bad for Hee but i laughed. The treatment from all boys is insane

I love how Kai and Tyun are literally the best friends oh my god i love them. I also love how supportive they are of everything.

The kiss was sudden but not rushed. It was warm and searching, the kind that felt like a question and a relief simultaneously. Jake kissed like someone who'd thought about it a lot. Like someone who wasn't sure he'd ever get to. — HELLO????

Somewhere between lips and soft gasps, you led him inside. — oh holy shit???

I love how obvious Jake kinda is because it seems so him to not be able to hide anything.

"Come on." He tilted his head, amused. "I may be dense sometimes, but I'm not blind. Or deaf. You both looked like you'd seen a ghost earlier. That, or you stuck your tongues down each other's throats and forgot to talk about it." — i will always love the way Jay just knows what to say.

"You need to be quiet," he whispered, voice low against your ear. "Unless you want them to know that you're mine for tonight." — oh good lord

He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Y/N…” His voice cracked a little, and you could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You don't need to do that. You don't need to fix anything. You don't have to give me anything." His thumb gently brushed against your wrist, calming you in a way that no words could. "You don't need to make up for anything." — I was shocked from her statement and I got so worried but Sunghoon is such a darling

Oh my god the end hello??? I absolutely love that it remained ambiguous, i love how complicated it was but how the boys literally lessened the complication and didnt make her feel  bad. Another great piece from rei :) im so glad youre back

New Girl Next Door I '02 Line

⟢ Pairings: neighbors!02 liners x fem!reader ⟢ Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut (mdni!!) ⟢ Warnings: mature content, explicit language and sexual content, emotional breakdown, multiple smut scenes, oral! (f! rec), p in v, unprotected!sex, protected!sex, creampie! (reader is on birth control but wasn't mentioned), Imk if i missed anything!

Summary: When you move into a quiet neighborhood for a fresh start, the last thing you expect is to live next door to three ridiculously attractive guys. What starts as neighborly banter turns into late-night confessions, stolen kisses, and a complicated tangle of feelings you can't outrun. In the end, which neighbor opens the heart of the new girl next door?

⟢ Word Count: 22.7k

The sun beats down on you as you stand on the sidewalk, the weight of the cardboard box in your arms growing more unbearable by the second. "Kitchen Stuff," it says in bold letters across the side, but right now, it feels more like an anchor than something useful. You try to hold it more comfortably by adjusting your grip, but it's impossible. You can't manage the size of the box by yourself, and the heat is making matters worse. The humid air pressing against your skin makes moving ten times more difficult.

You can't help but think back to why you're here in the first place. This is supposed to be a fresh start. Your first place. The beginning of something new, away from everything you used to know. But standing here, on the edge of this unfamiliar neighborhood, struggling with a box that you swear weighs more than it should, you can't help but feel a pang of uncertainty. A small part of you feels like you're leaving behind something you'll never be able to get back—familiar faces, the comfort of the past, the rhythm of your old life.

But then there's this, a blank slate, this house that smells of dust and potential, waiting for you to make it yours. It's a mix of excitement and fear of starting something that feels big and important but full of unknowns.

You take a deep breath, finally giving up on the box and shifting it to a new angle, but it doesn't get any easier. Just as you're about to make another attempt, a voice cuts through the air, catching your attention.

"Hey! Do you need a hand, or are you trying to fight gravity on your own?"

You blink, startled, and glance up, trying to make sense of the voice that seems to belong to a stranger standing across the street. You can barely make him out through the giant box in your arms, but you see enough: a guy with dark hair, an easy smile, and a casual stance.

You glance back at the door to your new place. You're so close, but this box is just too much. You can feel the sweat dripping down your neck, the heat threatening to overtake you, and something about the guy's voice makes you pause. Maybe it's just relief or a willingness to accept help, but you take a moment before answering.

"I've got it," you say, more out of habit than confidence. You try to shift the box again, but it only seems to get heavier.

He doesn't buy it, of course. "You sure about that? Looks like you're losing the battle to me."

You bite your lip, already feeling the awkwardness of the situation settling in. The guy's not wrong. And you're not sure why, but something in his tone makes you let go of the box just enough for him to swoop in and take it from you, lifting it without a second thought.

"You don't have to do that," you say quickly, but it's too late. Jake's already walking toward your front door.

"Don't worry about it," he calls back, glancing over his shoulder. "What's the point of neighbors if they can't help you carry heavy stuff?"

You can't help but stare after him momentarily, surprised by how easily he just took charge. And maybe, just maybe, the fact that he didn't hesitate to help makes you feel a little less alone in this sea of change.

As he heads toward your door, you hear the soft sound of footsteps from behind, and another voice cuts in, smoother and quieter than the first.

"Doesn't look like you're in control of that situation," says a taller guy with a more deliberate, calculated presence. His voice is calm and measured, and you can't help but feel the difference between him and the first guy. He seems… more reserved. You catch a quick glimpse of him this time—blond hair catching the sunlight, a sharp contrast to the other's dark hair—and it hits you how striking he looks in a quiet, unbothered way.

You look up, meeting his eyes briefly as he walks past, his hand reaching out to grab another box from you. It's a silent gesture, but there's something in the way he moves, so efficient and careful that you almost don't notice until it's too late.

"Thanks," you murmur, more to fill the space than anything else, and it almost feels normal for a moment. Like this could be the kind of neighborhood where people help each other out, where you're not alone in the chaos of moving.

You're about to say something more when you hear a soft chuckle behind you. You turn to see a third guy standing on the porch, leaning casually against the railing, earbuds in and one eyebrow raised in mild amusement.

"Who moves in during a heatwave?" he mutters under his breath, though it's loud enough for you to hear. He's smirking, clearly entertained by the whole scene.

You glance back at him, an eyebrow quirked. "It wasn't exactly my plan."

His lips curl slightly, but he doesn't say anything more, the corners of his eyes crinkling with quiet amusement as he watches the two guys carry your boxes inside.

The dark-haired one—the first to approach you—places the box down gently on your porch and wipes his hands on his shorts before flashing you another wide grin.

"I'm Jake, by the way," he says, sticking out his hand, casual and easygoing. "Welcome to the neighborhood."

You shake his hand, feeling the heat from both the sun and the moment.

The blond guy sets your second box down next to the first and straightens up, nodding slightly. "Jay," he says, his voice as clipped and efficient as his movements.

You nod, repeating their names under your breath to yourself—Jake and Jay. Easy enough.

Jake gestures toward the guy still lounging on the porch. "That grumpy one over there? That’s Sunghoon. Don’t mind the attitude—he's nicer than he looks."

Sunghoon, still smirking, pushes off the railing and gives a lazy little wave, clearly unbothered by the introduction.

"Nice to meet you," you offer, feeling a little out of breath—not just from the heat or the moving, but from the way all three of them seem so effortlessly alive, so rooted in this neighborhood you're only just stepping into.

Jake glances at your door as they finish up, then back at you. "Well, that's all of them. Not bad for a first day, right?"

You're still a little dazed from the whole experience, but you manage a small, tired smile. "Yeah, thanks. I wasn't exactly planning on getting a welcoming committee."

Jake grins, his easygoing nature infectious. "Hey, you don't get to choose your neighbors, but you can definitely make the most of it."

Jay, brushing his pale blond hair out of his eyes, quietly adds, "We've all been there. Moving's never easy."

And then there's Sunghoon, who, without a word, gives you a lazy smile from the porch as he slips his earbuds out. His gaze lingers for a moment before he turns to head back inside, leaving you standing in the doorway, feeling more exposed than you'd like.

Sure, They've helped you, but something in the air about their presence makes you feel like you're already tangled in their lives. And you're not sure if that's a good thing or not.

The quiet hum of your new house surrounds you as you close the door behind you, the weight of the box long gone. But the weight of everything else—the newness, the uncertainty, the fact that you're not entirely sure what's next—settles into your chest.

It's a strange feeling. And you wonder if you'll ever get used to it.

Later at night, the house smells like cardboard and lemon-scented floor cleaner. Somewhere in the chaos, a candle burns on the kitchen counter—your half-hearted attempt at pretending this is home already. The living room is still a jungle of boxes, some half-unpacked, others just… there.

You're sitting cross-legged on the floor, wearing the same sweaty shirt from earlier, your hair tied up in a messy knot. A takeout container sits abandoned at your side, half-eaten. Your phone leans against a ceramic mug, propped up just enough for the screen to catch your face as it rings.

It connects after the third ring. Two familiar faces appear side by side—Taehyun and Hueningkai squished into the frame like some kind of chaotic commentary duo.

"Hey!" Kai chirps immediately, waving like it's been years. "You survived!"

Taehyun just stares at you. "You look like a raccoon that got hit by a moving truck."

You groan and flop backward against a pile of throw blankets. "Because I was hit. By heat. And gravity. And my own bad decisions."

"I told you to hire movers," Taehyun says, smug.

"I told you to marry rich," Kai adds, popping a gummy bear into his mouth.

"I hate both of you," you mutter, smiling despite yourself. "You'll never believe what happened though."

Kai leans closer to the camera. "Don't say you fell in love with your delivery guy. I've already written three fanfics about that scenario in my head."

"Worse," you deadpan. "There's a house across the street. With three guys. All stupidly attractive. All mysteriously helpful, well, two of them were."

That gets their attention. Taehyun raises a brow. "Define 'stupidly attractive.'"

"Like… if someone Photoshopped the members of a boy group into a lifestyle commercial about clean living and emotional repression."

Kai gasps. "You moved into a K-drama."

Taehyun smirks. "So which one's the tsundere? There's always one."

You glance at the ceiling. "His name's Sunghoon. He didn't even help me. Just made fun of me from the porch like some aloof anime rival."

Kai practically squeals. "I knew it. And the charming golden retriever type?"

"That's Jake. He carried the heaviest box like it was made of feathers. Told me gravity was optional."

"And the serious one with good hair?" Taehyun asks knowingly.

"Jay. Quiet. Blonde. Looks like he'd be the type that reads classic literature for fun and judges people for using too much seasoning. Wait, how the fuck are you describing them so accurately?"

Kai clutches his chest. "This has sitcom energy written all over it."

You laugh, rubbing at your face. "It was surreal. They introduced themselves like some unofficial welcome committee. Jake even carried boxes. Jay took one without asking. Sunghoon just… watched like he was grading the situation."

Taehyun tilts his head, a ghost of a smile on his face. "How are you feeling about all this?"

You fall silent for a second, picking at the edge of a moving label on the nearest box. "Weird. Everything's so new. The house doesn't feel like mine yet. I don't have anything figured out. But… when they helped me earlier? For a second, I didn't feel so alone."

Kai softens. "You're not. You've got us. And apparently, three hot neighbors who lift heavy things and emotionally confuse you."

"Don't trip and fall into one of them," Taehyun says, deadpan.

Kai wiggles his eyebrows. "Or do. It'd be iconic."

You smile, warm and tired. "Thanks for the chaos. Seriously."

"Anytime," they echo in unison.

You end the call eventually, but your heart feels a little lighter, your chest a little less heavy. Outside the window, the porch light across the street is still on. Someone walks by it, probably heading inside for the night. You don't know which one of them it was, but something about it feels oddly comforting.

You look around the mess of boxes, tape, and takeout containers. The place still doesn't feel like home. But maybe, just maybe, it's starting to. 

It's only been two days, but you've developed an instinct: anytime there's a knock on the door, brace for chaos.

You wipe your hands on your shorts—mid-unpacking again because somehow there are always more boxes—and shuffle over to the front door. The knock comes again. Three sharp raps. Light, but too coordinated to be a delivery guy.

You open the door. And there they are. Again.

Jake stands in the middle, wearing that same easy grin, holding a tin of cookies like a peace offering. Jay is beside him, arms crossed, his face unreadable but not unfriendly. Sunghoon is lingering slightly behind the other two, earbuds slung around his neck this time instead of buried in his ears. His hands are in his pockets, head tilted as if this whole situation mildly amuses him.

"Hi," Jake says brightly, as if this is normal. "We come bearing gifts."

You stare at the tin. Then at them. "Did you bake those yourselves or rob a bakery on the way here?"

Jake gasps—faux offense. "We slaved over a hot oven for... okay, no. We bought them."

You raise an eyebrow and reach out, flipping the tin. The price sticker is still on the bottom. "Huh. Team effort, huh?"

Jake shrugs with zero shame. "Jay drove, Sunghoon carried the bag, and I chose the cookies."

"I see we're operating on shared delusion," you mutter, but you're already stepping aside and holding the door open. "Fine. Come in. But if one of you eats all the Oreos from my pantry, I'm changing the Wi-Fi password you don't even have yet."

Jake's eyes light up. "You do have Oreos?"

Jay gives him a look. "Focus."

They file inside like they've done this before, scattering across your barely-arranged living room. You mentally brace yourself for judgment, but to your surprise, none comes.

Jake plops onto the floor and opens the cookie tin like it's sacred. "So, how's it going? Still finding mystery boxes labeled 'can be kitchen or bedroom'?"

You gesture vaguely to a corner filled with mismatched mugs, cleaning supplies, and a random lava lamp. "I've made peace with being a functional disaster."

"Same," Jake says around a cookie. "That's why I bought a cactus. Low expectations."

You glance at Sunghoon. He's wandered over to your bookshelves, running a finger along the spines like he's trying to decode your personality through fiction.

He glances at you, then at a copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray. "Oscar Wilde and ramen. You're eclectic."

You cross your arms. "You say that like it's a warning."

Sunghoon smiles faintly. "Just an observation."

Jay, meanwhile, is looking at the thermostat. He points. "That dial's finicky. You'll need to jiggle it clockwise before it actually responds."

You blink. "Are you... giving me house maintenance advice?"

He shrugs. "Better than waiting for it to freeze you out. The water pressure in the upstairs bathroom sucks, too. You'll want to test the downstairs one first."

You study him. Jay doesn't talk much, but when he does, it's like he's already thought the whole thing through twice. There's a quiet kind of attentiveness to him you missed the first time.

"Noted," you murmur, and he nods once, then goes back to inspecting a sticky note on your fridge that says "Buy toilet paper" with the seriousness of someone solving a crime.

Jake's now halfway through the cookies. "You should join us for dinner sometime. Jay usually cooks. Sunghoon critiques it. I set the mood."

You squint. "Define 'set the mood.'"

"Playlist," Jake replies confidently. "Mostly 2000s boy bands. A little Mariah Carey."

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. "You put Pitbull on the last playlist."

"I stand by that."

You shake your head, already regretting asking. But your smile won't go away. It's strange—how easily they occupy a space. You haven't figured out how they feel less like strangers and more like a sitcom cast yet.

Eventually, the cookies are reduced to crumbs, and the boys stand to leave.

Jay's the first to step out, nodding at you like a quiet promise. "Text me if you can't get the thermostat to work. I can walk you through it."

Jake points finger guns on the way out. "Welcome to the neighborhood."

Sunghoon's the last to leave, pausing in your doorway. "If you ever need silence, our rooftop is quiet around 11 p.m."

You blink. "That... was surprisingly thoughtful."

He shrugs one shoulder. "Don't read into it."

Then they're gone. The door clicks shut behind them, and your living room feels a little too quiet.

You stare down at the half-empty tin and snort softly. Store-bought cookies and three very different kinds of neighborly chaos. This whole street might be a fever dream.

Still... you're not complaining.

The street is unusually tranquil tonight.

You hadn't planned on doing anything, really. Maybe finishing the ramen you half-cooked or finally tackling the hellscape that is your bedroom closet. But the trash bag sitting by the front door demanded attention, and now here you are—barefoot, in pajama pants and an old hoodie, holding a slightly torn bag of garbage while the summer night air presses against your skin like a damp towel.

You mutter to yourself as you struggle with the bin lid, fumbling in the dark. "Cool. Glamorous. Totally thriving."

Then, a voice floats from the left—low and amused.

"Hoodie and pajama pants combo. Brave."

You nearly jump out of your skin.

You turn your head sharply and spot him—Sunghoon—leaning against the short wooden fence that divides your yard from the sidewalk. He's in joggers and a fitted t-shirt, sweat darkening the neckline and clinging slightly to his collarbone. His hair's damp, sticking up in the wrong places. There's a sheen of sweat on his skin that catches the moonlight.

You narrow your eyes. "You always sneak up on women taking out the trash?"

He lifts a shoulder in a slow shrug. "Just finished a run. Didn't think I'd interrupt a dramatic garbage disposal."

You roll your eyes, but your mouth twitches. "Are you mocking me or flirting with me? I need to know what I'm working with."

He lets out a quiet laugh. It's short but real.

"I don't flirt in pajama pants hour," he says, adding, "But if I were, I'd at least bring coffee."

You cross your arms, stepping closer to the fence. "Is that your way of saying I should step up my late-night attire game?"

"I mean," he muses, "you did match the hoodie and pants. That's effort." You smile despite yourself. It's the kind of smile that sneaks up on you—gentle, unforced.

There's a long pause. Not uncomfortable, just… quiet. You both linger there, separated only by a few wooden boards and the rare stillness in this city. The kind that hums beneath your skin.

He glances up at the sky. "You can't see much here. Too much light pollution. No real stars."

You follow his gaze. "They're still there. Just hiding."

Another silence. A softer one.

"I like this time of night," he says eventually. "It feels like the world stops pretending."

You blink, surprised at its rawness. "What do you mean?"

He chews on the inside of his cheek. "People don't perform as much at night. It's too quiet to pretend you're fine all the time."

You watch him for a beat, the way his profile softens in the streetlight's glow. Something about it—him—feels real in a way you didn't expect. Not right away.

You toe at the grass under your foot. "Do you always get philosophical after cardio?"

He grins. "Only when the moon's judgmental."

Another pause. You glance toward your house. The light from your living room spills into the yard, casting a warm haze over the porch. Your half-unpacked boxes are still stacked by the entryway. Inside, it feels like chaos. But here? Out here with him? It feels like the eye of the storm.

You lean on the fence a little. "I think I like this time too."

He nods, slow and deliberate. "You can come out here sometimes. If you need quiet."

You tilt your head. "Is this an invitation?"

His eyes flick to yours, something unreadable in them. "It's not a rejection."

That leaves you quiet.

He pushes off the fence after a beat, stretching his arms behind his back. "Anyway. Try not to get eaten by raccoons out here."

"Noted."

"Night, pajama girl."

"Night, cardio boy."

He disappears into his side of the house, and you're left in the quiet again—but it feels different this time.

Fuller. Warmer.

It started small.

One Saturday, Jake stood on your porch wearing sunglasses and an alarming amount of enthusiasm, shaking a to-go coffee at you like a bribe.

"You have to experience the only good brunch spot in this hellhole," he declared as if it was a moral obligation. "It's part of your initiation."

You had still been in your pajama pants, hair half-tied up with a pen, clutching a list of chores you didn't actually want to do. And somehow, despite every intention of saying no, you ended up shoved into the backseat of Jake's car between a box of reusable shopping bags and a stray soccer ball.

Jay was already there when you arrived—leaning against the café's outdoor railing, stirring a coffee with slow, deliberate movements. He barely glanced up as you approached, just giving a slight chin tilt that said both hey and you're late at the same time.

Sunghoon arrived five minutes later, sliding into the seat across from you with his hoodie pulled over his head. His sunglasses covered half his face as if he were recovering from a hangover.

"Is he okay?" you asked, a little concerned.

Jake just laughed. "This is his okay."

Sunghoon flicked a piece of toast at Jake without a word.

You learned quickly that mornings with them had their own rhythm: Jay always ordered something complicated with substitutions, Sunghoon barely ate but stole bites from other people's plates, and Jake talked enough for all three of them combined.

You just tried to survive it.

From there, the Saturdays started piling up.

Somehow, without asking permission, they became part of your calendar.

Not an obligation. Not even a real plan. Just... expected.

You ended up at the local flea market one morning, supposedly "just browsing."

Jake, predictably, lost focus immediately.

You found him twenty minutes later trying to convince a vendor to sell him a neon lava lamp for half price.

"It's vintage," Jake argued, clutching it like a trophy.

The vendor, a stone-faced woman in her seventies, was unmoved. "It's tacky."

Jay, appearing behind you with a basket of vinyl records tucked under his arm, deadpanned, "So is he. Let him have it."

Jake beamed at the accidental endorsement.

Meanwhile, Sunghoon had vanished somewhere near the food stands. You spotted him across the way, balancing two cups of iced coffee precariously in one hand while texting with the other. He noticed you looking and offered the tiniest shrug that somehow said, What? I'm a multitasker.

You shook your head, laughing under your breath.

When he finally made it back, he set a cup in front of you without comment—exactly how you liked it. No sugar, extra ice. You blinked, surprised he remembered.

He didn't say anything. He just nudged it toward you casually, like it was no big deal.

Your heart did a weird little somersault.

You told yourself it was just the caffeine kicking in.

Later that afternoon, it was the plant shop.

You wandered between the rows of succulents and spider plants while Jake trailed dramatically behind you, narrating like a nature documentary.

"Observe the wild Y/N in her natural habitat," he whispered loudly. "Drawn instinctively to small, low-commitment life forms."

You smacked him with a fern.

Jay stood by the pots section, analyzing the designs as if they were ancient artifacts. You watched him turn a terracotta pot over in his hands, checking the drainage holes with an almost surgical focus.

"You're taking this very seriously," you said, amused.

Jay glanced at you, one eyebrow raised. "Bad drainage kills the roots. You can't half-ass the foundation."

You stared at him for a beat longer than necessary. Something about how he said it was sticking to your ribs. It's not just about plants, maybe. About everything.

Sunghoon, for his part, picked the most miniature succulent he could find—a tiny thing barely bigger than his thumb—and declared it was "enough commitment for now."

You arched an eyebrow. "Afraid of responsibility?"

He smirked, spinning the pot once between his fingers. "Afraid of overwatering."

You didn't know what to say to that, exactly. It felt like it meant something more.

Maybe everything did with him.

Maybe with all of them.

You ended the afternoon with a pile of plants, an overpriced lava lamp, and a half-melted ice cream cone because Jake insisted that no weekend adventure was complete without dessert.

Back at your house, you all lounged on your front porch, the sun drifting below the rooftops, painting everything in soft gold.

Jay sat cross-legged on the steps, scrolling idly on his phone.

Sunghoon leaned back against the railing, eyes half-closed, humming quietly under his breath.

Jake sprawled across two chairs like he owned the place, tossing pebbles at an invisible target.

You watched them—these three chaotic, complicated, impossible boys—and for the first time in a long time, you felt it.

That tentative thing in your chest.

Like maybe...

Maybe you were allowed to belong somewhere again.

Maybe you didn’t have to keep looking over your shoulder, wondering when you’d have to leave.

The thought scared you a little.

But it also made you smile.

You were halfway through a very glamorous evening of folding laundry and pretending to organize your books when you heard it — three quick raps against the wood, familiar now in a way that made your heart stutter for reasons you refused to unpack.

When you opened the door, Jake stood there, a sheepish grin on his face and his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie.

"Hey. So, um—" He glanced back over his shoulder like he was checking to ensure no one was watching. "Jay's making dinner tonight. Actual dinner, not just ramen and regret."

You smiled. "Sounds fancy."

He laughed. "Yeah, well. He got a new recipe from some cooking show, and Sunghoon dared him to try it. This means it's either going to be amazing or we're all going to die dramatically. Wanna come?"

There it was again—that warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest.

"Sure," you said, sounding casual like your brain wasn't already spiraling into what-the-hell-do-I-wear mode.

Jake's whole face lit up. "Awesome. Come hungry. And maybe bring a fire extinguisher. Just in case."

You laughed as he backed down the porch steps, throwing you a wink before jogging across the street.

The moment the door shut, you practically sprinted for your phone.

You flopped onto your bed, FaceTiming Taehyun and Kai, who answered almost immediately.

"What's up, new girl?" Taehyun said, lounging sideways across his couch like a cat.

Kai leaned over his shoulder, grinning. "You look stressed. Bad date? Broken appliance? Existential dread?"

You huffed. "Worse. Dinner invite."

They stared at you.

"You're gonna have to be much more specific, with which one?" Taehyun said.

"With all three of them," you clarified, feeling your face heat. "Tonight. Like—an actual dinner. Jay's cooking."

Taehyun immediately sat up. "Oh my god."

Kai let out a low whistle. "It's happening. She's starting a harem."

You scowled. "Nothing is happening. It's just dinner."

They exchanged the most irritatingly synchronized look you'd ever seen.

"Right," Taehyun said, dragging the word out. "Just dinner with three hot boys who you happen to banter with every day and who happen to look at you like you're the only person on Earth sometimes."

Kai nodded solemnly. "Totally normal. No notes."

You threw a pillow at the screen. "Help me pick an outfit or I'm ending the call."

That got them moving.

Taehyun instructed you to hold up options one by one while he gave devastating critiques, and Kai kept interjecting with commentary like "That top says 'I could fall in love with you by accident,' but the jeans say 'don't talk to me before coffee.'"

Ultimately, you settled on something simple: a soft sweater that made your eyes pop, your favorite jeans, and a necklace you always wore when you needed extra courage.

Not too much. Not too little.

Just... safe.

"You're gonna kill them," Kai said, popping a gummy bear into his mouth.

Taehyun pointed at you through the screen. "Remember, confidence. And if Jay burns the food, pretend to faint from hunger. Drama earns points."

You laughed, feeling the nervous energy settle just a little. "Thanks, guys."

"Anytime," they chorused.

You hung up, checked yourself once in the mirror, and tried to pretend it was no big deal.

You were just going to dinner with your neighbors.

Just dinner.

With 3 absolutely hot neighbors...

The sun had just started dipping by the time you crossed the street.

When you walked in, the dining table was already set—not just a "grab a fork and sit down" set. It had actual placements, folded napkins, and a tiny glass vase in the center with a few delicate white flowers. The soft glow from the warm ceiling light made everything look golden—inviting, even.

"You guys... went full Pinterest," you said, a little stunned.

"Jake," Jay replied dryly from the kitchen without turning around, "raided the neighbor's garden."

"Borrowed," Jake corrected, popping up beside you with a grin. "With an intense respect for nature. And a pair of scissors."

Sunghoon, already sitting with one leg tucked under the other, lifted his water glass. "He asked for help holding the flowers and then nearly cut my thumb off."

You smiled, your nervousness softening under their easy banter. "I feel like I've walked into a dinner party for a queen."

"You're not wrong," Sunghoon said, lips twitching.

Jay emerged from the kitchen carrying a large pan of steaming, delicious-smelling food and placed it in the middle of the table like it was sacred.

"Okay," he said, wiping his hands on a towel, "tonight's main course: soy-garlic glazed chicken thighs with roasted sesame vegetables and rice. Do not insult it. I've already questioned my life choices enough to make it."

You blinked.

Jake leaned in, whispering, "He's been watching that Michelin chef series. Every time they yell at someone, he takes it personally."

Jay rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched.

Sunghoon was already spooning rice onto his plate with the same seriousness people reserved for surgery.

You sat carefully, letting the moment wash over you—the warm clatter of dishes, the murmur of overlapping voices, the smell of garlic and soy and something subtly sweet.

The food was really good.

"You weren't kidding," you said around a bite of perfectly cooked chicken. "This tastes like you robbed a restaurant."

"That's the only kind of crime I condone," Jake said, pouring you a drink. "Well, that and the emotional kind."

Jay gave him a warning glance. "Don't start."

But Jake already had.

"Oh, did you know," he said, resting his chin in his palm like he was about to share state secrets, "that Jay once tried to make gnocchi from scratch and cried when it turned out grey?"

"It was supposed to be beetroot pink," Jay muttered, scowling at his plate.

"Color doesn't change flavor," Sunghoon added, deadpan. "But his soul was crushed."

"Can't believe you're doing this in front of our guest," Jay muttered, but he didn't really seem mad. His voice was warmer than before. Less guarded. They kept roasting each other, telling half-stories that trailed off in laughter. You listened more than you talked at first, taking in how different they were yet somehow perfectly chaotic. 

Jake was the loudest. He always leaned forward, gesturing with a fork and tossing his head back when he laughed.

Sunghoon didn't talk as much, but every time he did, it was to deliver a dry, perfectly timed punchline that had everyone howling.

And Jay... Jay was precise. Quiet, but not cold. The kind of person who only spoke when he had something worth saying—or when he wanted to cut through the noise with something disarmingly honest.

"So," Jake turned to you, mid-meal, "what's your go-to comfort meal?"

You blinked. "Like... childhood favorite? Or post-breakup survival?"

"Both," he grinned.

"Mac and cheese for childhood. And pancakes for heartbreak," you answered.

Sunghoon nodded like that made complete sense. "Sweet over salty. Coping through carbs. Acceptable."

"What about you guys?" you asked, curious now.

Jay answered first, quietly. "My mom's doenjang-jjigae. It's the only thing I ever ask for when I visit."

Jake said, "Spam and rice with ketchup. It sounds cursed, but it hits."

Sunghoon shrugged. "Toast."

You looked at him. "Just... toast?"

He met your gaze evenly. "Emotional damage lowers the bar."

That made you laugh so hard that Jake nearly spit out his drink. Even Jay cracked a genuine smile.

You didn't remember the last time you laughed this much over dinner. The kind of laughter that makes your face ache in the best way.

Somewhere between second helpings and a debate about which anime protagonist would win in a street fight, you caught Jake watching you—not just glancing, watching. And when you looked back, he didn't flinch away.

Neither did you.

Jay noticed, too. You could feel it in the shift of the air.

You looked away.

You weren't ready to face whatever that was. Not yet.

Later, when dinner was over, and everyone was sinking into the couch with soft drinks and sleepy smiles, Jay quietly brought you a mug of hot tea without a word and handed you the blanket Sunghoon had kicked off.

You curled up under it, more aware than ever of how easily your life had started to rearrange itself.

You weren't sure what to do with that knowledge.

The laughter from the living room was light, the kind of easy noise that made you forget all about the stress of unpacking and moving in. You, Jake, and Sunghoon were sprawled out on the couch, half-watching a movie as you chatted about random things, their voices filling the room with comfortable noise. You hadn't even noticed how much time had passed since dinner. It felt like you were finally getting into a groove here, like maybe this whole moving thing wasn't so bad after all.

And then, there was a knock on the door.

It wasn't an urgent knock, just a soft tap, like whoever was on the other side wasn't entirely sure if they should be there. You thought nothing of it for a moment, too wrapped up in the conversation to even register it.

But then Jay, who had been lounging nearby, got up, his blonde hair messy but effortlessly styled as always, and strolled over to the door. You barely had time to process that someone was at the door before Jay opened it.

A man stood on the other side, his back mostly to you, his posture confident and sure, like he was someone who had every right to be here. He spoke first, his voice calm and polite. "Hey, uh... I'm looking for someone."

Jay raised an eyebrow, sizing him up for a moment. "Who are you looking for?"

The man didn't seem fazed by the question. Instead, he offered a small, polite smile before responding, "I heard someone named Y/N moved into the neighborhood recently. Do you know her?"

Jay hesitated momentarily, then gave the man a nod, still blocking the door slightly. "Yeah, she's inside. I'll let her know you're here."

Jay glanced over his shoulder, his voice casual but carrying an undercurrent of something more. "Y/N, someone's here to see you."

You froze mid-laugh, the words taking a moment to register. Your heart gave an unexpected lurch, the sound of your name hanging in the air like a strange omen. You weren't expecting anyone tonight. The weight of Jay's words and the way the room fell silent for just a moment caught you off guard. You stood up, your movements slower than usual, and instinctively turned to Jake and Sunghoon, who had gone quiet, too.

Jake shot you a quick look. "Who is it?"

You shrugged, unsure of how to respond. You weren't expecting visitors. At least, not like this.

Jay stepped aside when you reached the door, allowing you to face the visitor. The guy standing there still had his head looking down, but his posture, his clothes, and his neatness seemed so oddly familiar, like something that didn't belong here in this neighborhood. It made your chest tighten with some unexplainable feeling.

When he finally looked up to face you, everything seemed to freeze.

You immediately recognized him. The man standing there wasn't just any stranger. He was someone you'd known far too well. Your breath hitched, and your heart beat a little faster. It was a feeling you hadn't expected, not here, not now.

It was him.

"Hee?" you whispered, almost too softly for anyone else to hear, your voice catching in the air like it had been waiting for this moment to break free. It was the only thing you could think to say, but the realization hit you like a flood. Your heart stumbled in your chest, suddenly unsure how to process the situation.

He stood there for a split second longer, unsure how to answer you. And then, the same calm smile you remembered so well tugged at the corner of his mouth. His eyes softened, but there was an air of something complicated behind them.

"Yeah, it's me," he said quietly, almost sheepishly.

Jay glanced between the two of you, his eyes flickering with a flicker of something — maybe recognition, maybe just curiosity — before his voice cut through the air once again, sharp but almost forced in its neutrality.

"Do you two know each other?" Jay asked, his tone casual but with a layer of something underneath that you didn't quite catch.

You nodded, though your throat felt tight. "Yeah. We… we know each other," you said, the words coming out quieter than you intended. Your gaze flickered between Jay and the man in the doorway, and you felt the weight of the situation settle heavily on your shoulders.

"Right," Jay said, his gaze shifting back to you. The brief interaction between you and Heeseung hung in the air like something unspoken. You could feel the weight of his gaze, but you barely had time to register it before the man in front of you spoke again, his voice slightly more casual this time.

"I'm here for a work trip. I heard you moved into the area and thought I'd drop by," he said, his tone almost too calm, like he wasn't standing on the threshold of a past you'd both tried to move on from.

The air around you seemed to grow heavier like the past was reaching out to you. Heeseung's presence felt like something you hadn't prepared for, but there he was, looking like he hadn't aged a day since the last time you'd seen him.

Jay, ever the neutral one, gave a quick glance over his shoulder, his voice cutting through the silence. "Well, we're just hanging out. If you need something, I'm sure you can find it elsewhere in the neighborhood."

He wasn't being rude intentionally, but something in his tone made you think Jay was ready for this interaction to be over. He wasn't wrong. You weren't sure how to handle this, how to fit the person from your past into this new life that felt so different from everything that had come before.

For a moment, Heeseung hesitated, as if unsure of what to do next. He stood there for a second, his hands still tucked into his jacket pockets. He didn't push further, but the awkwardness was palpable. He didn't ask to come inside, and you didn't invite him in. He just lingered, standing on the threshold, his gaze never leaving you.

"Are you just visiting?" you asked, your voice too soft and unsure.

Heeseung nodded slowly. "Yeah. Just for a couple of days. It's for work, but I'll be here for a while."

You nodded back, unsure of what else to say. It didn't feel like he was here for some grand reunion, but it didn't feel like a simple neighborly visit either. The lingering question of why he'd chosen tonight—of all nights—to show up hit you like a quiet punch to the gut.

Jay, who had been watching quietly, seemed to sense your discomfort and stepped forward. He crossed his arms, blocking Heeseung from fully entering. His tone was calm but firm.

"Is that it?" Jay said, his voice low but pointed. "You can go now."

Heeseung didn't flinch. Instead, he glanced at Jay, confused but not deterred. "I'm not here to fight," Heeseung said, his eyes softening as he looked back at you. "I just... I wanted to talk. To explain things. We never really got closure, Y/N."

The request hung in the air, too heavy for you to ignore, but you didn't know what to say. Your mind was racing, trying to sort through the mess of emotions that had resurfaced. Before you could respond, Jake and Sunghoon, who had been lounging in the living room, finally noticed the shift and walked over, their expressions unreadable but attentive.

Jake was the first to speak, his tone casual, but the undercurrent of seriousness was unmistakable. "Not the right time, man," he said. "You should go."

Heeseung's eyes darted between the three of you, sensing the subtle but firm boundary you were all setting. He didn't back down immediately, though, his jaw tightening.

"Y/N, please," Heeseung pressed, his voice pleading now, the calmness starting to crack. "I've been thinking about everything. I know I messed up, but I... I want to try again. I just need you to listen—"

Seeing you back up unconsciously, Jay stepped forward without hesitation and raised his voice just enough to cut through the tension. "No. She doesn't need to listen to you. You've had your chance."

Sunghoon leaned in slightly, his voice dry but light. "Did you seriously think she'd be interested in a visit from you right now?" His eyes gleamed with mischief. "Not exactly the warmest welcome, huh?"

Heeseung looked at him, caught off guard by the casual comment, but before he could respond, Jake spoke up. "Who are you, even?" His tone was laced with a mix of curiosity and protectiveness.

Heeseung's eyes flickered between the three of them—Jake, Sunghoon, and Jay—his confusion mounting. "Who are these guys?" he asked, trying to make sense of the situation. "Why are they...?"

Jay didn't let him finish. He stepped forward briefly, placing a protective hand on your shoulder. "I'm her boyfriend," he said, his voice carrying a subtle yet undeniable firmness. "Can't I just hang out with my girl and my bros simultaneously without some sleazy ex disturbing us?"

The words hit Heeseung harder than expected. His face fell, a mix of hurt and frustration crossing his features, but Jay didn't give him a chance to respond.

Jay kept his gaze locked on Heeseung, not even blinking. "You need to leave," he said again, his tone now dangerously calm.

Heeseung's lips parted as if he was going to argue, but instead, he just sighed, his shoulders sagging. Without another word, he turned away, his footsteps retreating into the quiet night.

The door clicked shut with a finality that made you feel like you could finally breathe again.

There was silence for a few moments. You didn't know what to say, your mind still reeling from the confrontation. Jay moved away from the door, stepping back to stand beside you. He gave you a quiet glance but didn't press you for anything.

You exhaled, your body relaxing slightly as the tension began to dissolve. "I didn't... expect him to show up like that," you murmured, still shaken.

Sunghoon sighs lightly, crossing his arms with a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah, you don't have to tell us anything, don't worry, and hey, who would've guessed Jay's got that boyfriend vibe down already?" He chuckled, clearly amused. 

Jake leaned back against the couch, arms crossed with an amused glint in his eyes. "Nah, Jay's too smooth for that. He just knew exactly how to handle it."

Jay shrugged, his usual calm composure in place. "I just don't want to see you get hurt, that's all. Wouldn't be a good 'boyfriend' if I didn't defend my girl, you know?" he said softly, his gaze meeting yours for a moment longer than necessary.

You rolled your eyes but couldn't suppress a smile. "You guys are ridiculous, you know that?" you muttered, though your voice held no real bite.

Sunghoon winked at you from the side. "We'll keep being ridiculous. You seem to like it, anyway."

You shook your head, the warmth of their teasing finally washing over you. "Yeah, I suppose," you said with a soft sigh. 

Jake nudged you with his elbow. "Just don't forget who's got your back, yeah?"

You glanced over at him, then at Sunghoon, who had a sly smile on his face. "I won't forget. Thanks, guys."

Jay raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. "If I were you, I'd make sure Heeseung doesn't return. I'm not giving up this 'boyfriend' role anytime soon."

"Fake boyfriend, don't get too ahead of yourself there," Jake interjects, his tone hinting at something you can't really pinpoint.

You let out a small laugh, the absurdity of the situation finally hitting you. "You're all nuts," you said, but the fondness was evident in your voice.

Sunghoon leaned back, stretching his legs out. "I'm pretty sure we're not the only crazy ones in this room."

The rest of the night was easy and light, with the boys joking and talking. For the first time in a while, you felt like maybe things were starting to feel a little more normal.

The soft rays of the early morning sun filtered through the curtains, casting long shadows on the living room floor. You woke up slowly, the warmth of a blanket draped over you, the smell of something delicious filling the air.

You blinked, adjusting to the light. The couch was surprisingly comfortable, and you realized with a start that you had somehow ended up curled up on it. Your body was stiff from the position, but you didn't mind. The night had been an unexpected mix of awkwardness and something more, and you weren't sure if it was the exhaustion or the intimacy of the situation that made you feel so strangely content.

But what caught your attention first wasn't the gentle stirrings of the morning. It was the sound of someone humming softly in the kitchen, the soft clinking of pots and pans. You turned your head and spotted Jay in the kitchen, his back to you as he flipped something in a pan. The light from the windows caught in his hair, and you had to admit—he looked good in the morning light, effortlessly natural, like this was just another day.

You blinked again, still trying to shake off the sleep. The two others—Jake and Sunghoon—were still fast asleep on the couch beside you. 

You chuckled softly to yourself. "Well, that's one way to start the day."

Jay turned at the sound of your voice, giving you a smile that was a mix of surprise and something else you couldn't quite place. "Morning, sleepyhead. You slept well?"

You nodded, pulling yourself up into a sitting position. "Yeah, surprisingly. But I need to head back to my house and shower. I've got some chores to do and… I don't know, just need a fresh start to the day."

Jay chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, before you go, you've gotta eat something. I'm making breakfast. Don't leave on an empty stomach."

You hesitated, feeling a slight pang of guilt. "I should really head home, Jay. I can't stay."

"Come on, just a quick bite," he insisted, moving to plate a couple of eggs and toast. "You've been through a lot. Let me take care of you for today."

You gave in, your stomach grumbling at the smell of food. "Okay, fine. But just a little."

Jay smiled as if he'd won a small victory, placing the plate before you. As you sat down at the kitchen island, you couldn't help but notice how effortlessly he moved around the kitchen, the way he worked with a confidence that seemed so natural.

"You sure you don't need help with that?" you asked, eyeing the rest of the cooking.

"Nah, this is easy," he said, shrugging it off. "Besides, you just sit there and enjoy the food."

With that, you dug in. It felt nice to eat something that wasn't takeout or microwaved food, especially after everything that had happened. The simple comfort of a home-cooked meal made you feel grounded, even for a moment.

Jay watched you quietly for a second before his voice broke the silence again. "So, how are you holding up after last night?" he asked casually, though there was a hint of concern in his eyes.

You paused, swallowing your food before answering. "Honestly, I'm a little shaken. It was… unexpected. Heeseung showing up and everything. I wasn't ready for that."

Jay nodded, taking the seat beside you and setting his coffee down. "I get it. It wasn't easy for you. But you handled it well. I'm glad you didn't let him push you around."

You offered him a small smile, grateful for his support. "I don't think I could've if it weren't for you."

Jay waved it off, his usual confident demeanor slipping back in place. "It's no big deal. You know I've got your back, no matter what."

You finished your breakfast quietly, and the tension from the previous day slowly started to lift. As you got up to leave, you couldn't help but notice how Jake and Sunghoon were still fast asleep on the couch, tangled up in a rather ridiculous position. Ironically, Jake's arm was draped over Sunghoon, who had somehow ended up with his head on Jake's chest. They looked utterly oblivious to the world around them, peaceful in their shared slumber.

You chuckled softly to yourself. "They look ridiculous," you muttered under your breath, shaking your head at their unexpected closeness.

Jay raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "You mean to tell me those two aren't a couple? They act like it."

"Definitely not," you said with a laugh, standing up from your seat. "But they seem pretty comfortable."

Jay shrugged, seemingly unbothered by their unusual position. "Whatever works for them. Alright, go on. I'll wake them up later."

You nodded, giving him a grateful smile. "Thanks, Jay. I appreciate it."

With a last glance at the boys, you made your way back to your house, the silence between you and Jay hanging in the air as he saw you out.

The morning light filtered through the trees as you walked back to your front door, and for the first time in days, you felt like things might be okay again.

The boys had done their best to distract you last night—keeping the mood light with inside jokes, teasing, and comfort in a way that only friends who felt like family could. But now, in the quiet of your own home, the buzzing noise in your head returned.

You needed to talk to someone who knew you. The one who had cried to the same two people through breakups, hangovers, panic attacks, and post-midterm breakdowns.

Taehyun and Kai were only a FaceTime away.

You hesitated at first, the weight of the call lingering in your thumb. What were you even going to say? "Hey, so my ex showed up, got wrecked by the new boys next door, and now I'm accidentally sort-of-fake-dating one of them?" It sounded absurd even in your head.

Still, you tapped the call button.

Within seconds, Taehyun's face popped onto the screen, his hair messily styled, the lighting behind him unmistakably warm and homey. He grinned like he'd been waiting for this call all day.

"Y/N!" he sang, dragging out your name with theatrical flair. "There she is. My emotionally unstable yet stunning bestie. What's going on? You look... tired. Did a raccoon break into your house? Or was it another boy this time?"

You rolled your eyes, a tired smile tugging at your lips. "You could say that," you murmured, settling back against the pillows. "Heeseung showed up."

Taehyun blinked. Then blinked again. "Heeseung as in your 'it's not you, it's my emotional immaturity' ex-boyfriend Heeseung?"

"That's the one."

Before he could respond, Kai appeared on screen too, plopping down dramatically beside Taehyun and stealing half the frame. "Wait. What? Heeseung? Like, showed up where? Your house? Your dreams? Or did he slither up through a sewer grate like the snake he is?"

You snorted, your fingers brushing your forehead. "At the boys' house. He came to their door asking for me. I don't even know how he found out I moved here."

Kai gave the camera an exaggerated squint. "Wait, wait. What boys? The hot ones you told us about?"

"Yes, those boys," you said, already regretting how many details you'd given them in past updates.

Taehyun leaned forward like he was watching a drama unfold in real-time. "Okay, okay, but what happened? You can't just drop a bomb and walk away. What did he say? What did you say?"

You hesitated, then let out a breath. "He wanted to talk. Said he missed me. Said he wanted to try again." You winced at the sound of it aloud. "I couldn't even get a word out before Jay stepped in."

Kai gasped with his whole chest. "Jay stepped in?"

You nodded, and your lips twitched at the memory. "Jay stepped in. He opened the door, didn't know who Heeseung was, but as soon as he realized he was asking for me, it was game over."

Taehyun narrowed his eyes. "Details. Don't skip. I want exactly what he said, including tone and any sassy eyebrow raises."

You burst into a laugh but relented. "He said, and I quote: 'I'm her boyfriend. Can't I just hang out with my girl and my bros simultaneously without some sleazy ex disturbing us?'"

Both boys screamed at the same time.

"OH MY GOD."

"HE DID NOT."

"That's so hot. I'm actually mad at you for living this rom-com instead of me," Kai was practically bouncing. "So wait. Heeseung just... believed him? And left?"

You nodded slowly. "Well, there was a lot of glaring, and Heeseung tried to argue. Like, 'Who even are you?' and Jay didn't back down. Jake and Sunghoon came out too. It was kind of intimidating."

"And you?" Kai asked, eyes softening a little. "What did you do?"

You shrugged, voice quieter. "Nothing. I just stood there. I couldn't speak. It all happened so fast. Jay... handled it."

There was a beat of silence. Then Taehyun's voice dropped, gentle. "How did it feel? Seeing Heeseung again?"

You bit your lip, unsure of the answer. "Like my past showed up uninvited. And suddenly, all the work I did to move on didn't feel real anymore."

Kai's teasing melted away as he leaned closer to the camera. "But you didn't let him back in. That's real. That's strength. Don't downplay that."

You swallowed, trying not to get choked up. "I just... I didn't expect Jay to do what he did. It was so fast. Like, suddenly, he was this—protective thing standing in front of me, and I didn't even ask for it."

"And you liked it," Taehyun said gently, not asking—knowing.

You looked away, then back. "Yeah. I did."

There was a silence. Then—

Kai smirked again. "So what you're telling us is... your hot neighbor fake-boyfriended your ex into running off into the night, and now you're feeling things."

Taehyun gasped. "Wait, you are! You're catching feelings! I knew it. You're soft for Blond Hero Boy."

You groaned, pulling a pillow over your face. "I am not! I'm just confused. Okay? He was being nice. People can just be nice sometimes!"

Taehyun snorted. "Jay doesn't seem like the 'just being nice' kind of guy. He seems like the 'I'm gonna mean what I say and say what I mean' kind."

Kai nodded sagely. "That's boyfriend behavior, Your Honor."

You sighed again, pushing the pillow aside. "Okay, so maybe there's something. But I'm not doing this again. I don't want to jump into anything. Not now."

"Then don't," Taehyun said simply. "But don't run from it either. If he's good to you—and I mean really good—then maybe let yourself feel it. Even a little."

Kai added, his voice softer than usual, "No pressure, Y/N. Just take your time. But we've seen you after Heeseung. You were a shell. And now... even when you're tired and shaken, you're glowing a little again."

That hit somewhere deep. You looked at your screen, at your two best friends staring back with nothing but love and belief in their eyes, and something loosened in your chest.

"Thanks, guys," you whispered. "I don't know what I'm doing, but... I'm glad I have you."

Taehyun grinned. "Always. You don't have to figure it all out tonight. Just don't shut us—or them—out."

"And tell Jay he's officially on our radar," Kai added. "He's earned one gold star. We'll be watching."

You laughed through the lump in your throat. "You're the worst."

"We're the best," they said in unison.

You sat there for a moment, hugging your knees to your chest, the emotions swirling but no longer drowning you. Maybe you were still lost. But you weren't alone.

And that counted for something.

As the call wound down, you were just about to press "end" when Taehyun's voice stopped you.

"Wait," he said suddenly, his tone a little different this time—softer, sharper. "Before you go."

You blinked. "...Yeah?"

He leaned in, elbows on what looked like the arm of his couch. His expression had changed—less playful now. More knowing. The kind of look you hated because it meant he was about to say something that would hit you right in the gut.

"You keep talking about Jay," Taehyun said slowly. "But you've also been talking about Jake. And Sunghoon. Like... a lot."

Kai sat up straighter beside him, his brows furrowed in the same curious way.

Taehyun tilted his head. "And it's the way you say their names. Like you don't even realize it. You're not just grateful they're nice, Y/N."

You hesitated. Your breath caught in your throat. You tried to scoff, to deflect like you always did—but nothing came out.

Kai blinked. "Wait—hold on. Oh my god." He leaned toward the screen. "You've got feelings. For all three of them?"

"Wh—No!" you said quickly, too quickly. "I mean—" You buried your face in your hands for a second, groaning. "Maybe. I don't know. I didn't mean to get attached. It just… happened."

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the call. Not awkward. Just real. Like they were letting your confession settle.

Taehyun's voice was quiet when he finally spoke again. "You got attached because they treat you like you matter. That's not a crime, Y/N."

You stared at him, blinking against the sting in your eyes.

Kai, ever the mood-breaker, piped up. "Unless you pick the wrong one. Then it's a whole Netflix documentary. 'Small Town Girl, Big Emotions, and the Love Pentagon- wait no- Square Nobody Asked For.'"

You burst into a laugh-sob, tossing a pillow at your phone screen. "Kai, please."

"No, no, seriously!" he grinned. "The true crime vibes. The scandal. The heartbreak. I'm already imagining the moody cover art."

"Let her breathe," Taehyun said, though he was smiling too. Then he looked at you again, his tone gentler. "It's okay to be confused, Y/N. You just got out of something heavy. You moved. Your whole life shifted. Of course, things are messy."

"And they're really good to you," Kai added softly. "That's gotta be confusing too. When you're used to... less."

Your throat tightened. You looked down at your hands. "I just... I don't want to hurt anyone. Or ruin something good before it even starts."

"You won't," Taehyun said. "Not if you're honest. And not if you keep listening to what you want instead of what you're scared of."

You exhaled slowly, like something you'd been holding in for days had finally cracked open.

"Thanks," you said after a beat. "For not laughing. Or making me feel worse."

"Are you kidding?" Kai said. "This is prime drama. I'm invested now. You better give us updates, or I'll report you for emotional withholding."

You couldn't help but smile. "Okay, okay. I will. Just… let me figure things out first."

Taehyun gave you a slight nod. "Take your time. But remember—you're allowed to want good things. Even if they scare you."

You groaned into your hands as they burst out laughing.

"Can I just live in denial for like... two more days?" you muttered.

"Absolutely not," Taehyun grinned. "But you can take your time. Just don't run from it."

Your chest tightened, but you managed a small smile. "Okay. Thanks. For real this time."

Taehyun winked. "Anytime, dummy."

You didn't see the boys that morning after you returned from your house—just a quick wave across the street, through the window when you noticed Jake cleaning their living room. The space was nice. You'd needed a moment to breathe, to let your conversation with Taehyun and Kai sink in without your thoughts getting swallowed by someone else's presence.

But by mid-afternoon, you found yourself hovering at your front door with no real excuse, sipping on an iced coffee that had already melted too much to taste good. The ache in your chest hadn't left, but it had shifted—less grief, more confusion. More… longing.

Your phone buzzed.

Jay: You alive over there? Jake says if you’re ghosting us he's throwing your feel better cupcakes in the trash.

You smiled a little, thumbs already moving.

You: Was planning to. But now I'll come over just to save the cupcakes.

A few seconds later, another text popped up.

Jay: Backyard. It's nice out. Jake's trying to work the grill, says he has to keep the Aussie in him by having shrimps on a barbie.

You chuckle, setting your phone down, and slipped on your sandals before heading next door.

You found Sunghoon first, sitting under the patio umbrella with headphones half-on, scrolling on his phone. He looked up as you approached, and for a second, his usual aloofness cracked into something soft.

"You came back," he said, setting his phone aside.

You shrugged, settling in the chair beside him. "Cupcakes were on the line. I couldn't let that kind of injustice happen."

He smiled faintly, eyes lingering on you a second longer than they needed to.

"They're actually kind of awful," he said. "Don't tell Jake."

You leaned in conspiratorially. "I'm telling him the second I see him."

There was a pause, comfortable but weighted in a way that made your heart flutter just slightly.

"You okay?" Sunghoon asked, voice lower now.

You nodded. "Getting there."

His eyes searched yours for a moment before he gave the slightest nod. "You don't have to pretend with us. You know that, right?"

You didn't respond, just gave him a tiny smile. But your chest squeezed a little tighter when he looked away—like he was trying not to say more.

When you went to the backyard, you could smell a faint… burnt smell.

Jake was by the grill, battling it like it owed him money. His tongue poked out slightly as he focused, a crease between his brows.

"Planning to burn the house down?" you called out.

Jake was startled, clutching his chest dramatically. "You can't just sneak up on a man like that, Y/N! I almost died."

You laughed and leaned on the counter beside him. He grinned, cheeks slightly pink.

"Seriously though, glad you're back," Jake said, more sincere now. "We missed you."

You smiled. "You saw me this morning."

"Yeah, but it's not the same. You didn't wake us up and say bye, plus it's boring without you." His words were light, teasing—but his eyes were sincere.

You tilted your head, touched by how easily Jake could make everything feel lighter. "Thanks, Jake. Really."

He offered you a crooked smile, bumping your shoulder playfully. "Anytime. I'm basically your emotional support golden retriever now."

You laughed, the sound easing some of the lingering tightness in your chest.

“Y/N!” You hear Jay call you as he lounges on his chair, sunglasses on.

Jake returns to batting the grill, "Go hang with Jay for a bit, don't leave your fake boyfriend hanging."

You leave him to battle it out with the grill and walk up to Jay. When he noticed you, he removed his sunglasses and patted the free chair beside him.

"Back from your dramatic self-imposed exile," he teased, his voice warm.

"I'm not that dramatic," you said, settling beside him.

Jay tilted his head thoughtfully. "You ghosted us for five hours and almost rejected my cooking. Kinda dramatic."

You narrowed your eyes playfully. "You practically forced me to eat."

He shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "I figured you might not eat otherwise. It wasn't great, but the thought counts," Jay leaned back on his palms, watching you carefully. "Last night… I didn't mean to overstep. With the whole boyfriend thing."

You shook your head quickly. "No. You didn't. Actually… it helped."

Jay's gaze sharpened, almost unreadable. "Good. 'Cause I wasn't bluffing."

You blinked, heart catching.

"Protecting you?" he added easily, though his voice had a rougher edge to it now. "I meant that."

The space between you crackled, something fragile and electric.

You licked your lips, your voice smaller than you meant for it to be. "Thanks. For being there."

Jay looked away like it was too much to say more right now. "Always, Y/N."

The air hung heavier after that. Jake called from the grill, and Sunghoon pulled out a speaker to play music. The atmosphere returned to easy banter, but you could still feel the shift, as if an invisible string had tied itself between you and each of them.

You hadn't meant for this to happen.

You hadn't meant to start caring about all of them.

But you had.

And you didn't know what to do about it.

The night had wound down slowly after the backyard hangout, laughter trailing like a warm aftertaste. Jay had gone inside first, muttering about finishing laundry. Sunghoon had followed not long after, faking a dramatic yawn and saying something about beauty sleep.

Jake stayed.

You hadn't planned on walking home with him. You hadn't really planned on anything. But when he nudged your shoulder and said, "Let me walk you to your door," it felt too natural to say no.

The air was cooler now and quiet in the neighborhood. Your sandals clicked softly on the pavement, and the stars were clear—many more than you were used to seeing.

Jake glanced at you a few times, each followed by a quick glance forward again, like he was trying not to stare.

When you reached the little gate to your yard, you stopped. So did he. You turned to him. "Thanks for—"

"You make me feel like I'm in a constant rom-com," he interrupted, voice light but shaky around the edges. "The bad kind. The pining one."

You blinked. "Jake—"

"I mean it," he added, eyes locked on yours now. "You say something, laugh, or even just show up, and it messes with my whole day. In a good way. But also in a really confusing way because I don't know if I'm allowed to want this."

He exhaled, hands half-tucked into his hoodie. "But I do."

It was soft. Honest.

You stepped forward, heart thudding. "You're not the only one confused." Jake's hand brushed against yours like he wasn't sure if he should touch you. You took it.

The kiss was sudden but not rushed. It was warm and searching, the kind that felt like a question and a relief simultaneously. Jake kissed like someone who'd thought about it a lot. Like someone who wasn't sure he'd ever get to.

It deepened quickly—hesitant hands turning bolder, breaths coming quicker, your back bumping lightly against your front door as he murmured your name like a prayer.

Somewhere between lips and soft gasps, you led him inside.

You didn't talk much as you moved through your house. The silence was heavier than awkward—anticipation, nerves, and want all tangled together. His fingers trembled slightly when they brushed your arm. In your room, he paused.

Jake cupped your face, leaning in until his forehead rested against yours. "Tell me if I need to slow down," he whispered. "Or stop. I don't want this to be a mistake."

You looked up at him—Jake, who wore his heart so easily, who made you laugh when you didn't want to, who had just confessed in the softest way.

You kissed him shyly, lips pressed against his as he settled onto your bed, leaning back against the headboard. His hands found your hips and moved you to sit on top of him, soft lips hungry for more of your touch, and his mind went blank. Soon, soft kisses grew more eager as your touch consumed his thoughts. Your hands framed his face, and his wandering hands snuck under your sweater and felt along your spine before swiftly removing it.

Time seemed to blur as you continued kissing passionately, hands exploring but staying within comfortable boundaries. He didn't rush you, even as your effect on him was evident. Instead, he maintained a shared rhythm, making you feel cherished.

Eventually, the intensity of your kisses led you to pull back, your lips tender. His breathing was heavy, and his hair was disheveled. Your hands then moved down his front, taking off his jacket. Though you felt you were undressing him quickly, it wasn't fast enough for him. He turned you onto your back and swiftly pulled off his shirt. You then removed your bottoms, watching as he revealed his entire body.

You leaned back, supporting yourself with your hands, to meet his kiss. As your mouths met and tongues intertwined, his hands moved down your back, deftly unclipping your bra. A soft gasp escaped you, immediately captured by his kiss as he slid the straps off your shoulders, letting your bra fall away. You slowly sank back into the pillows as he trailed kisses down your neck, gently guiding you to lie entirely on your back.

He continued with wet kisses from your neck to your chest, his hands lightly tracing your ribs as you arched towards him, your breath coming in short gasps. A sigh escaped you at his tender touch, and he then cupped your breast, softly squeezing it before his lips found your hardening nipple.

"Is this good?" Jake murmured a hint of shyness in his voice, his tongue briefly touching your nipple as his thumb gently brushed over it, feeling it firm. You were almost speechless as he repeated the gesture a couple of times. You could barely form words to respond when he repeated the actions a few times. 

You let out a soft whine, shifting restlessly for more of his touch. He glanced up at you, his hair falling across his eyes, and playfully flicked his tongue against your nipple while his other hand caressed your other breast. Jake then continued his kisses down your stomach. With a slight, frustrated sound, he sat back, his gaze sweeping over your nearly bare body. He then lifted your legs onto his shoulders, sliding the last piece of clothing off you and tossing it onto the floor with the rest.

"Have you been hiding this gorgeous body from me?" Jake murmured, finally pulling down his pants and quickly taking off his briefs at the same time. He barely gave you a moment to take in his body, your eyes briefly drawn to his erection before he leaned in for another kiss. "If I had known your body was as beautiful as your face, I wouldn't have hesitated to tell you how I felt about you."

Clearly captivated by your chest, he returned to your breasts, hungrily latching onto a nipple, abandoning any further words as he immersed himself in your warmth. After you softly whined, he pulled back slightly and lifted your right leg, bending it towards your stomach, which further exposed your aroused state to his eager gaze. The glistening wetness of your folds caught his attention, making him run his tongue along his lower lip.

Jake's attention was entirely on your pussy, his finger tracing the center where your arousal had pooled. The slick fluid coated his finger and your clit. A moan escaped you at the touch, your jaw relaxing as he gripped your hips with his other hand, pressing you firmly against the bed. Ensuring you stayed put, he lowered himself, his face settling between your legs as he sought a taste.

His lips were gentle against you, his eyes fixed on your swollen folds as his tongue traced the pool of your arousal. He practically sucked for a taste, leaving soft, open-mouthed kisses on your center. You gripped the sheets tightly, your legs instinctively wanting to close, but his mouth followed your every movement.

Jake's breath hitched, though it seemed unimportant as he nipped and sucked at you, your clit rubbing against the tip of his nose. His focus was singular: your pleasure. He wanted to make you feel incredible, to erase thoughts of anyone else and fill your mind solely with him. Suddenly, his mouth closed over your stiffened clit, and he began to lick and suck, the wetness of your opening slicking his chin as he devoted himself to you.

You tasted incredibly sweet to him, driving him to the edge of his control as his erect cock moved restlessly against the bed. Your head was thrown back, lost in the sensations between your legs, your eyes glazed over as you moaned at the ceiling. Jake watched you surrender to his touch, his hand sliding along your body, feeling the deep breaths that hollowed your stomach as he cupped your breasts. His fingers were slick with your arousal, and he used them to coat your nipples, rubbing them as his mouth continued to pleasure you intimately.

You were consumed by the ecstasy of his mouth on you. You couldn't recall the last time someone had touched you like this, bringing you such pleasure. It certainly hadn't been with your ex, whom you'd stopped being intimate with long before the breakup, and even then, he never made you feel this way.

"Oh—" you moaned softly, your hands in his dark hair, gently holding him close. He remained silent, simply guiding you towards orgasm, feeling the tremors in your legs and the catch in your breath. Your clit pulsed in his mouth, and he soothed the intense sensation with tender lips and gentle lapping of his tongue as you descended from the peak of your pleasure.

"Condom?" you asked, playfully nipping his lower lip. He nodded, and you reached blindly for one in your nightstand drawer.

"Looks like you were prepared," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"You never know what could happen when you have hot men as your neighbors."

He watched as you slid the condom onto his fully erect member, which bounced slightly. He placed a hand at the base as you moved to straddle him. The expression on your face as you lowered yourself onto him was beautiful, and you exuded a confident eagerness that he hadn't seen before.

He resisted the urge to move, wanting this to be pleasurable for you as well and let you adjust. "Jake," you murmured, your hands flat on his chest, which accentuated your breasts. He carefully shifted his hips, pressing just a little deeper.

"That's it, baby," he breathed, watching your hair fall forward as you focused on his thrusts. You ground your hips against him, and he watched your body tremble with pleasure. The way you moved captivated him, and he couldn't help but lean up to kiss one of your breasts as you rode him for the first time.

He then groped your ass, spreading your cheeks and thrusting deeply as you threw your head back with a whimper. "Feels good," you sighed. You wrapped your arms around him, pressing him tightly against your chest as he bounced you, moaning against your nipples and leaving trails of saliva. His nails dug into your skin as he lifted your hips up and down on his cock.

He felt restricted, unable to move his hips as much as he desired. With a low grunt, he rolled you onto your back, your knees digging into the mattress as your legs wrapped around his waist. "Fuck, I can't," he muttered, perhaps meaning he couldn't hold back much longer.

You barely registered his words as Jake began to thrust deeply inside you, grinding his pelvis against yours with each powerful movement. A familiar wave of sensation tightened around his member as your body gripped him. He knew he wouldn't last much longer either.

"Gonna cum for me, baby?" he asked softly, kissing your jaw and holding your waist as he thrust deeply, feeling your nails dig into his back.

"Please," you begged, snuggling into his neck, and his chest tightened with desire. He put more force into his thrusts, bringing you and himself to the brink of climax. Your pleas were too enticing to ignore.

A wave of intense pleasure washed over you, your skin prickling with goosebumps as a shiver ran through you. He held you tightly as you moaned in euphoria, reaching another climax. Jake couldn't hold back any longer, and your legs wrapped around him gave him no choice but to drive the rest of his length into you until he came into the condom.

You lay together for a moment, his fingers gently combed through your hair, and you straightened your sore legs as he pulled out.

You remembered little else besides the growing drowsiness as he cleaned you up thoroughly. He then laid back in bed, pulling the covers over your naked body, and fell asleep with you in his arms.

The sunlight was creeping in through the edges of the curtains, soft and golden, warming the skin on your back. But inside, you were anything but warm.

Jake's arm was still resting loosely over your waist, but his breathing had shifted—less even, more aware. Still, you stayed still, pretending not to notice. Pretending the tangle of thoughts in your head wasn't growing louder with every passing second.

Last night shouldn't have happened. Or maybe it should have. Perhaps that was the problem—you didn't know anymore.

You bit down on your lip, trying not to overthink it, but of course, you were. How could you not? Because, yes, Jake had looked at you like you were the only person in the world. He'd kissed you like he meant it, held you like he wanted to stay. He was sweet, nervous, and kind in a way that made your heart ache.

But that ache wasn't just for him.

It throbbed a little when Jay hovered near you in the quiet when his voice dipped low and protective. It flickered when Sunghoon offered you tea without asking and sat beside you in a silence that felt like understanding.

You weren't supposed to fall. You definitely weren't supposed to fall in three directions at once.

You sighed and slowly pulled the blanket back, slipping out of bed as gently as you could manage. Jake shifted behind you, a soft rustle of sheets and a sleepy exhale.

You padded to the doorway of the bedroom, pausing there as your fingers brushed the frame.

"You're thinking way too hard for this early in the morning," Jake said, voice low and hoarse with sleep.

You turned, startled to see him already sitting up. His hair was a mess, his eyes half-lidded and squinting against the light, but his smile was genuine. Sleepy. Soft.

He rubbed a hand over his face, then met your eyes.

"Pancakes or silence?"

You blinked at him, then let out a breath of a laugh. "I should be the one asking if you want breakfast."

Jake shrugged, swinging his legs over the bed and standing up. "Just figured one of us should say it."

He walked toward you, and for a second, you thought he might kiss you. Instead, he just brushed a hand against your waist as he passed, making his way to the kitchen like it was nothing. Like this could be normal.

And maybe it could be. But that was the part that scared you.

You stood there a moment longer, your heart knotted and heavy in your chest. Last night had been real. Jake had been real.

But so were the butterflies when Jay looked at you like you were a mystery he wanted to solve. And so was the warmth in your chest when Sunghoon noticed the things you never said.

You weren't just in trouble—you were in it.

And you had no idea what to do next.

You were back on their couch again. Same spot. Different atmosphere.

Sunghoon was flipping through a game catalog on the TV, Jay was curled up in the corner scrolling on his phone, and Jake was… somewhere to your right. Close, but not close enough to pretend nothing had changed.

Because something had changed.

You hadn't talked about it. Neither of you had brought it up since this morning. Not the kiss. Not the night. Not the way you'd fallen asleep tangled in each other's arms like something out of a dream.

You were hyper-aware of his presence now—the way his shoulder occasionally brushed yours when he shifted, how his fingers twitched a bit like he wanted to say something and couldn't.

You wanted to say something too. But what? That you didn't regret it? That you did?

You hugged your knees tighter against your chest.

Sunghoon looked over from the floor and blinked. "Did one of you guys fight or something?"

Jay glanced up from his phone. "No. Why?"

Sunghoon made a little gesture between you and Jake. "You're acting weird."

Jake coughed. "What? I'm not weird. You're weird."

"Excellent comeback," Jay muttered under his breath.

"I'm just tired," you added quickly, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. "Didn't sleep much."

Sunghoon raised a brow, clearly not buying it, but didn't push. "Right."

Jay, meanwhile, didn't say anything—but you could feel his gaze flicker toward you for a second too long. Observing. Thinking. Like he was putting a piece of something together.

Jake shifted beside you, tapping his fingers against his thigh. You knew he wanted to reach for you. Say something. Break the awkward tension before it cracked open the floor.

But he didn't.

And neither did you.

The controller passed hands. The banter continued. But the tension between you and Jake hung thick in the air—a quiet, unspoken question waiting for someone to be brave enough to answer it.

You thought you'd successfully slipped away.

The others had gotten caught up in some co-op game, and you'd taken the opportunity to retreat to the kitchen for water and, if you were being honest, space.

Your fingers curled around the glass a little tighter than necessary.

You didn't regret what happened with Jake. Not really. But now that the weight of it had settled and the quiet had crept in, the real thoughts were crawling up the back of your spine like vines—tangling everything you'd carefully compartmentalized.

Footsteps padded in behind you, and you didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

Jay leaned casually against the fridge, arms crossed, blonde hair slightly messy from lying down.

"So," he said, his voice low and mild. "You and Jake, huh?"

You froze mid-sip. "What?"

"Come on." He tilted his head, amused. "I may be dense sometimes, but I'm not blind. Or deaf. You both looked like you'd seen a ghost earlier. That, or you stuck your tongues down each other's throats and forgot to talk about it."

You winced. "That's… weirdly specific."

He smirked. "Because it's accurate?"

You didn't answer. You couldn't.

Jay's expression softened just a little. "Look, I'm not trying to pry. I just… noticed. Jake's been looking at you like you hung the stars lately. And now you won't even make eye contact."

You finally met his gaze, lips parted like you might try to defend yourself. But then you stopped. Because what was the point?

"We didn't fight," you said eventually. "It's just… complicated."

Jay nodded slowly, as if he understood more than he was letting on. "He's a good guy. He won't push you. But he's also not gonna pretend it didn't happen."

You blinked. "Are you—are you okay with it?"

He shrugged, glancing away for a moment. "Do I get a say?"

You stared at him, trying to read between the lines. His voice was calm, but there was a flicker of something rawer under the surface.

"I don't know," you said quietly. "Maybe."

Jay exhaled, then gave you a crooked smile. "Well. For what it's worth, you could've done worse."

That made you laugh—a soft, startled sound that briefly broke the tension.

"I just…" you started, but the words tangled. You looked down. "I didn't mean to get attached."

Jay didn't say anything.

"It just… happened."

When you finally glanced back up, Jay was watching you—really watching—with a kind of quiet understanding that made your chest ache.

"I know," he said, following it with a whisper, "just wished it happened to me instead."

And somehow, that was worse than if he'd said nothing at all.

"Yo, are you guys gonna make out in the kitchen or come pick your Mario Kart characters?"

Sunghoon's voice floated in from the living room, teasing and light. He was completely unaware of the emotional bomb that had just gone off between you and Jay, or he did but refused to acknowledge it.

You blinked, startled by the call, then glanced at Jay. He didn't say anything—just pushed off the fridge and gestured toward the door with a subtle tilt of his head.

"Let's go," he said.

You followed, heart suddenly heavy.

The game resumed. Laughter picked up again. Jake nudged your shoulder once when you sat beside him but didn't push when you didn't respond with your usual sass.

You smiled weakly. Tried to play like nothing had changed. But the echo of Jay's voice wouldn't leave your head.

The shift was subtle at first. A lingering glance here. A missed joke there. The group dynamics still flowed, but you could feel it—like something had been shaken and hadn't settled back into place.

Jake didn't press. He still smiled at you, still offered you the last slice of pizza, still handed you the extra controller. But the softness in his eyes was quieter now. Like he was waiting to see what came next.

Jay avoided being alone with you.

Sunghoon seemed to be the only one who hadn't picked up on the tension—or if he had, he had expertly ignored it, choosing to be the glue that kept everything together—the buffer.

You were grateful for him.

But your head was a mess.

And no matter how often you told yourself to figure it out, to pick a lane, your heart kept tugging in three different directions.

It was late. You couldn't sleep. The quiet of your own house felt stifling, and your thoughts were too loud.

So you stepped outside.

The breeze was cool, the streetlights casting soft shadows against the pavement. You wrapped your arms around yourself, intending to sit for a few minutes on your porch step.

But someone was already there.

Jay. He was sitting cross-legged on your porch, hoodie pulled over his head, eyes distant and fixed on the sky.

You stopped mid-step.

He looked over as if he'd known you were coming. "You always sneak out like this?"

A beat passed before you answered. "Only when I'm being chased by my own thoughts."

Your voice came out a little sharper than intended. You walked toward him, stopped in front, but didn't sit yet.

"Finally stopped avoiding me?" you asked, your tone light—too light and a little bitter.

Jay's jaw twitched.

You sighed, dropping your gaze. "Sorry. That was… I didn't mean it like that."

"No, it's fair," he said quietly. "I was avoiding you."

You sat beside him, silence wrapping around the both of you like a blanket stretched too thin.

Then, softly, you broke it. "I like all three of you."

His head turned toward you.

"I didn't mean for it to happen," you added quickly. "I didn't come here expecting to feel anything for anyone. But now I'm just—stuck. Because I care about you. And Jake. And even Sunghoon. I'm not trying to mess with anyone, I swear, I just…"

You exhaled hard.

"I'm overwhelmed," you whispered.

Jay didn't respond right away. Just stared ahead, hands curled into loose fists on his lap.

Finally, he said, "You know what the worst part is?"

You looked at him.

"I still want you," he murmured. "Even if you're not just mine."

The words punched through your ribs, and suddenly, you couldn't stay still.

You reached for him.

And he met you halfway.

The kiss was slow initially, tasting of hesitation and too many unsaid things. But it deepened quickly—days of tension and confusion, unraveling into something heavier. His hand gripped your waist like he couldn't let go.

"Come with me," he said against your lips.

Up the stairs to his room, where he closed the door behind you. Where the only light came from the hallway, casting long shadows across the floor.

He stepped close again. His eyes were darker now, not just with desire, but something more.

"You need to be quiet," he whispered, voice low against your ear. "Unless you want them to know that you're mine for tonight."

The thrill of the night shot through you. You nodded in silent agreement, tightening the coil of anticipation in your stomach. His hand, still warm from your waist, trailed up your arm, sending shivers across your skin despite the cool night air. He cupped your cheek, his thumb stroking the soft curve, and you leaned into his touch, wanting more.

His other hand found the hem of your shirt, and you lifted your arms without a word, allowing him to slide it over your head. The dim light painted your bare skin, and you watched his eyes darken further as they roamed over you. A possessive glint sparked in their depths, a silent claim that sent a shiver of excitement mixed with nervousness down your spine.

He reached for the clasp of your bra, his fingers surprisingly deft, and the delicate lace fell away, freeing your breasts. You held your breath, the air suddenly thick with unspoken desires. His gaze lingered, heavy and intent, before he finally lowered his head, his lips brushing against your collarbone.

"Mine," he murmured against your skin, the word a low rumble that vibrated through you. He trailed kisses along your neck, each touch sending a jolt of heat through your veins. You tilted your head back, offering him more, your fingers tangling in the soft strands of his hair. His hands moved lower, tracing the curve of your hips, pulling you closer until you were flush against him. You could feel the hard bulge pressing against your pajama bottoms, a blatant reminder of his desire. A soft gasp escaped your lips.

He pulled back slightly, his eyes locking with yours. "Are you sure about this?" he whispered, his voice rough with wanting.

You didn't need words. Your hands found the edge of his hoodie, pulling it over his head. His bare chest was revealed, the faint moonlight highlighting the lean muscles. You ran your palms over his warm skin, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your fingertips.

He groaned softly, his hands tightening on your hips. He leaned down, his lips finding yours again, the kiss now urgent and demanding. His tongue plunged into your mouth, tasting of longing and a desperate need to possess.

With a shared urgency, you both began to shed the remaining layers of clothing. His pants were quickly discarded, revealing the thick length straining against his briefs. You fumbled with the drawstring of your pajama bottoms, and they slid down your legs, pooling at your ankles.

He stepped back, his eyes devouring your naked form in the dim light. You felt a flush creep up your neck, a mixture of shyness and arousal. But the possessive look in his eyes fueled a boldness within you. You met his gaze, letting him see the desire that mirrored his own.

He reached for you again, his hands sliding around your waist, lifting you until your legs wrapped around his hips. The sudden friction against his hard length through his briefs made you gasp. He carried you a few steps, until the back of your legs bumped against the edge of his bed.

He didn't break eye contact as he lowered you, your bare skin sliding against his clothed lower half. The contact was electric, a spark that ignited a fire in your core. He leaned down, his lips nuzzling your neck again.

"Tonight," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin, "you're all mine."

And as he finally shed his briefs, revealing the full, throbbing length of his desire, you knew he meant it. 

His hands tightened on your thighs, guiding you closer until the slick head of his cock pressed against your wet folds. A gasp hitched in your throat, the intimacy of the contact stealing your breath in the dimly lit room. He paused, his dark eyes searching yours, a silent question swirling between you. You answered with a slow, deliberate nod, your hips instinctively arching, a silent plea urging him closer.

"God, you feel so good already," he breathed, his voice a low, husky tremor against your ear, laced with a raw desire that mirrored your own.

With a low groan that resonated deep in his chest, he finally pressed forward. You squeezed your eyes shut, a sharp intake of breath escaping your lips as his thick length stretched you, filling you completely. A wave of sensation, a potent mix of pleasure and a fleeting moment of intensity, washed over you. He remained still for a heart-stopping moment, allowing your body to adjust to his size, the only sound the soft rustle of the sheets beneath your entangled limbs.

"So tight," he murmured, a possessive edge to his tone, a hint of a satisfied smirk playing on his lips as if claiming a long-desired prize.

Then, he began to move, slow, deliberate thrusts that rocked your hips against his. Each measured slide sent a ripple of heat expanding from your core, an ache that intensified with every inch he pushed deeper inside you. You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist, your fingernails digging into the firm muscles of his shoulders, clinging to him as if he were your only anchor.

"Jay," you whispered, your voice a breathy plea, raw with the burgeoning sensations he was igniting within you.

His kisses grew more urgent, his mouth claiming yours in a hungry exploration, devouring your soft lips as his pace quickened. The rhythm he established was primal, demanding, a relentless tide pulling you under, and you met him thrust for thrust, your bodies moving together in an ancient, desperate dance of yearning. The air grew thick with your mingled breaths, soft moans escaping your lips like whispered secrets.

He trailed hot, wet kisses down the sensitive curve of your neck, his teeth gently nipping at your skin, sending shivers of pure delight cascading down your spine. His hands roamed freely, possessively cupping your breasts, his thumbs teasing your aching nipples until they were hard, throbbing peaks begging for more of his touch.

"Does that feel good, baby?" he asked, his voice thick with lust, the question more of a statement as he felt your involuntary response.

"Mmm-hmm," you moaned, your head lolling back, arching your back in a silent offering, your hips bucking against his with an increasing, desperate urgency. The friction was exquisite, building a searing pressure deep within you, a coiled spring threatening to shatter your carefully constructed control. A soft cry escaped your lips as the first undeniable wave of pleasure washed over you, your inner muscles clenching around him in a tight embrace.

He felt your release, the intense, shuddering grip around his cock, and his own carefully leashed control began to fray. His thrusts deepened, became faster, driven by a primal need to reach the precipice with you. He groaned against your neck, his body trembling with the force of his impending climax.

"You're driving me fucking crazy," he muttered, his breath hot and ragged against your skin, the words a testament to the intensity of your connection.

With a final, guttural cry that tore from his throat, he plunged deep, burying himself fully within you, holding you so tightly it almost hurt, as his body convulsed with the force of his release. The hot, thick spurts flooded you, a final, intimate claiming that sealed your connection for the night, a silent promise echoing in the darkness. You clung to him, your own body still quivering from the lingering aftershocks of your orgasm, feeling utterly spent, completely sated, and undeniably his at that moment.

He collapsed against you, his breathing ragged and uneven, his heart pounding a wild rhythm against your chest. The silence that followed was heavy with the weight of your shared intimacy, broken only by the soft, contented sighs that escaped your lips. He nuzzled his face into the soft strands of your hair, his arms wrapped around you in a fiercely possessive embrace.

The room was still. Only the faint hum of the streetlights outside and the slow rhythm of Jay's breathing filled the silence now.

You lay tangled in his sheets, your head against his shoulder, the warmth of his skin grounding you even as your mind began to spiral. Everything had been so fast and intense— now it was just quiet.

And in the quiet, the guilt started to set in.

Jay's fingers traced slow, absentminded lines along your spine. But even that gentle comfort couldn't stop the ache from blooming in your chest.

"I should go," you whispered.

His hand stilled. You didn't lift your head, but you felt the shift in his body. "Are you okay?" he asked, voice husky with sleep and something softer.

"Yeah," you said quickly, then shook your head. "No. I mean—I don't know. I just… I can't stay here. I can't face them in the morning. Not like this."

Jay didn't say anything for a moment. Then he exhaled. "Okay."

You looked up at him. "You're not mad?"

He met your eyes, something unreadable flickering in his. "No. I get it. It's a lot. You don't owe me anything more than what you gave tonight."

The knot in your chest tightened. "But I do. I shouldn't have—"

"Don't do that," he cut in gently. "Don't regret it."

You pressed your lips together, your throat tight. "I'm sorry," you said quietly.

He brushed your hair back from your face, fingers careful. "Don't be. I knew what this was."

You weren't sure if that made you feel better or worse.

He sat up slowly, pulling on a hoodie and offering you your clothes with a soft glance. "You want me to walk you back?"

You shook your head. "I'll be okay."

You dressed in silence, both of you moving like you didn't want to disturb whatever fragile peace had been carved out of the night.

At the door, you turned back. Jay leaned against the frame, arms crossed. He didn't look hurt. Just tired.

"Thank you," you said, voice barely audible.

He nodded. "Anytime."

And then you slipped out, into the cool night, back to your house next door.

Alone again.

And full of too many feelings for three boys who had no idea how much space they were taking up in your heart.

You hadn't slept much.

Your own bed, despite being familiar, felt too cold and too quiet. Your body still remembered Jay's touch, the warmth of his skin, and the way his voice had dropped when he told you to be quiet.

You pulled the blanket over your face.

What the hell were you doing?

You'd crossed a line. One you couldn't uncross. Not with Jake. Not with Jay. And the worst part was, Sunghoon's name still lingered somewhere in the back of your mind too.

You stayed in bed for as long as possible, pretending time would fold in on itself and save you from facing any of it.

But eventually, your stomach growled, and the sound of faint laughter and pots clanging across the street reminded you that life didn't stop just because you were emotionally fried.

When you finally made your way back over to the boys' house—barely knocking before letting yourself in like usual—you were met with the smell of eggs and toast, and the sight of Jake and Sunghoon crowded around the stove.

Jake looked up first. "Hey," he greeted, and his smile faltered for just a second—almost imperceptibly—before he forced it back on.

"Morning," you said softly, offering a small wave. You didn't miss the way your eyes slid away from his a beat too fast.

Sunghoon handed you a plate wordlessly, but his gaze lingered a little longer than usual, eyes quietly calculating. Like he was picking up on something you hadn't said yet.

"Where's Jay?" you asked, filling the silence and desperate to sound casual.

"Out back. He's fixing the stupid broken light again," Sunghoon answered, setting his own plate down on the table.

Jake nudged a chair out with his foot, gesturing for you to sit. You took it. The awkwardness swirled like steam from your food.

No one said anything, not for a while. Not until Jake cleared his throat and stood up, grabbing his glass of water even though it was still full.

"I'm gonna help Jay," he muttered.

Neither you nor Sunghoon stopped him.

Once the door shut behind him, you looked down at your untouched plate, then up again—only to find Sunghoon still watching you, fork halfway to his mouth.

"You good?" he asked.

You hesitated. "Yeah. Just tired."

He didn't look convinced, but he nodded anyway.

You both ate in silence for a bit longer, though the air wasn't quite as heavy. But you could feel something shifting. You just didn't know what it meant yet.

You finished about half your plate before pushing it away, appetite lost to the fog settling over your chest. Sunghoon was still eating, but slower now. Like he was waiting for something. Or maybe just giving you time to speak.

“You’re quiet,” he finally said, voice gentle.

“I’m always quiet,” you deflected, eyes darting to the window, where you could just barely see Jake and Jay moving around the back porch.

Sunghoon smiled faintly. “You’re a different kind of quiet today.” That made you pause.

You didn’t know what to say because he wasn’t wrong. You were being careful. Hesitant. Trying not to touch the edges of what happened last night or what it meant for the three boys sitting on the other side of it. But Sunghoon wasn’t pushing. He just kept looking at you like he saw through the layers you were trying to keep up.

“I saw you leave last night,” he said finally, setting down his fork. “You didn’t come back.”

Your throat tightened. “Yeah.”

His voice was still calm. “Was it Jay?”

You looked at him then. Really looked.

And for the first time in days, you saw it—the softness around his mouth that had hardened. The slight crease in his brow. He already knew.

“Yeah,” you whispered.

Sunghoon exhaled, not in anger, but in some resigned version of understanding. His fingers tapped once on the table. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I know,” you said, your voice small. “But I still feel like I’m screwing everything up.”

He gave you a look filled with more empathy than you deserved. “You’re not screwing it up. It just… hurts a little. That’s all.” You didn’t know what to say to that. So you said nothing.

Jay and Jake returned shortly after, and the rest of the morning blurred into a hazy half-day of almost normal. You all sat together in the living room, watching a movie none of you paid attention to. Jake kept fidgeting with the throw pillow. Jay barely spoke. Sunghoon… he sat the farthest from you.

You hated it. All of it.

The tension in the room felt unbearable, the silence so thick you could practically taste it. Sunghoon and Jake hadn't spoken much, still lost in their thoughts. You couldn't quite bring yourself to face them—especially after last night, after everything that had happened. You were caught in this strange, suffocating space between them, not knowing how to move forward.

The quiet stretched on for what felt like hours, but it was only minutes. You kept stealing glances at them, noticing the awkward glances they'd throw your way when they thought you weren't looking. You could feel the weight of their confusion, the heaviness of the unspoken things between you.

You opened your mouth several times, but the words always felt hard to say.

Finally, unable to stay cooped up inside anymore, you spoke up.

"Hey, Sunghoon," you began, voice small, hesitant. He looked at you, clearly surprised that you were addressing him. "You mentioned the rooftop… a while back. Can I… can I go up there for some air?"

You could hear the reluctance in your own voice, but there was also a desperate need to escape the oppressive tension in the house. You didn't want to be in the same room as any of them right now. Not with everything swirling in your head. Not when your heart was so tangled up in all of them.

Sunghoon hesitated, catching the tone of your voice. He nodded after a beat. "Yeah, of course. I'll show you." He stood from the table, motioning toward the door.

You followed him silently, grateful for the excuse to leave the suffocating atmosphere behind. He led you up the stairs and through the door to the rooftop. The cool evening air hit you immediately, the breeze brushing over your skin as you stepped outside.

It was quiet up here. The city stretched out before you, peaceful and calm in the twilight. But you didn't feel calm. You felt the opposite—a storm swirling inside your chest, the weight of your confusion pressing down on you.

Sunghoon didn't push you to speak. He just stood beside you, leaning against the railing, gazing out over the skyline. But after a while, you couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I—" You stopped yourself, realizing how vulnerable you were. You didn't want to break down here in front of Sunghoon. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault.

"I don't think I can do this right now," you muttered, eyes fixed on the horizon. You didn't know what you were even talking about. Your words felt like they didn't belong in the same sentence. "I can't face them."

Sunghoon turned his head slightly toward you, his brow furrowing. "What do you mean? You can talk to them."

You shook your head, a lump forming in your throat. "I don't think I can. I don't even know what to say to them. Or to you." You let out a shaky breath, shoulders slumping under the weight of it all. "I think… I think I need to be alone. I can't deal with all of this."

You felt his presence linger momentarily, but he didn't press. He simply nodded. "Okay. I'll leave you to it, then. If you need anything, you know where to find me."

And then he left. The door behind you clicked softly, leaving you with your thoughts.

The moment you were truly alone, the walls came crashing down.

You sat there on the cold rooftop, your back against the railing, knees pulled up tightly to your chest. The city spread out before you, but you couldn't see any of it clearly through the fog of your emotions. The tears wouldn't stop.

Everything felt like it was spiraling out of control.

You hadn't meant for any of this to happen. You hadn't meant to let things get this messy. But here you were, caught in a web of emotions that felt too heavy to bear. You felt suffocated by your own thoughts, trapped by everything you couldn't control.

"I'm such a mess," you whispered hoarsely, your voice barely audible above the soft hum of the wind. You hated the way your words sounded. Pathetic. Weak.

But it was true. You were a mess. You'd let things get too tangled with the guys, let your feelings run wild without thinking of the consequences. And now, everything was breaking apart around you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block out the tears that kept coming, but it was no use. They were unstoppable.

You weren't just crying for the mess between you and the boys. You were crying for yourself. For the way you had let everything slip out of control. You were disgusted with yourself—disgusted that you couldn't make a decision, disgusted that you couldn't keep your emotions in check.

How had you let things get this far? How had you ended up here, drowning in a sea of guilt and regret?

You didn't deserve any of them.

You didn't deserve to be loved by any of them. Not when you couldn't even figure out what you wanted. Not when you had let your emotions run wild and hurt the very people you cared about.

You covered your face with your hands, your chest tightening with each breath. "Why can't I just get it right?" you choked out, your voice breaking. "Why can't I just… know what I want?"

The tears came harder then, and you let them, unable to hold back any longer. You hated the feeling of weakness, hated that you were so torn up inside. You wanted to be strong, to have everything figured out. But you didn't. You were a mess, and you couldn't escape it.

"I'm so sorry," you whispered, the words more for yourself than anyone else. "I'm sorry for being this way."

It was so much. You could feel the weight of it crushing you, suffocating you with each breath. The silence of the rooftop only made it worse, amplifying the noise in your own head. You weren't sure how much more you could take.

And just as you were about to let the tears consume you completely, you heard footsteps behind you.

You wiped at your eyes quickly, trying to gather yourself, but it was too late. Sunghoon had already seen you.

"You shouldn't be out here alone," he said, his voice soft, almost too soft for the weight of the moment. You didn't even turn to face him. You didn't want him to see you like this, broken and vulnerable. But you could hear him moving closer, his footsteps steady and sure.

"I'm fine," you whispered, but it was a lie. You weren't fine. You were far from it.

He didn't say anything at first. Instead, you felt him sit down beside you, the warmth of his body a quiet presence against your cold, shaking form. His silence wasn't uncomfortable, though. It was… soothing. A small comfort in the chaos of your thoughts.

"You don't have to pretend with me, Y/N," he said softly, his tone steady but filled with understanding. "You don't have to hold it all in."

The words hit you like a wave, and before you could stop yourself, a sob broke free from your chest. You hadn't realized how much you needed to hear that. How much you needed to hear that it was okay to fall apart, that it was okay to be weak.

"I'm so sorry," you whispered through your tears. "I'm sorry for everything. For making it so complicated. For hurting everyone. I didn't mean to. I never meant for any of this to happen."

Sunghoon didn't move. He stayed close, letting you cry, his presence a steady anchor in the storm of your emotions.

"You're not hurting anyone," he said gently. "But you have to let yourself breathe, Y/N. You can't keep holding all of this in. It's okay to feel what you're feeling."

You shook your head, the tears still coming. "I don't know what to feel. I don't know what to do."

"I know," he said, his voice calm. "But you'll figure it out. You don't have to do it alone."

You laughed bitterly, looking at him then, even though your tears blurred your vision. "Look at me right now. I'm the one who's hurting you. I'm the one causing all of this, and yet here you are, comforting me." You swallowed hard, more tears slipping down your face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for dragging you into this."

Sunghoon's hand moved to your shoulder, and you could feel the warmth of his touch, grounding you. "You're not dragging me into anything," he said softly. "I'm here because I care. I'm not going anywhere."

You shook your head, feeling a pit in your stomach. "I don't deserve this," you whispered, feeling utterly broken. "I don't deserve to have people like you care about me."

Sunghoon didn't respond immediately. Instead, he sat beside you, silent and steady, as if he were letting you say everything you needed to say, as if he knew that sometimes, there were no words to fix everything.

The tears slowed, but the weight in your chest didn't go away. You felt raw and vulnerable, like you had laid everything out in front of him. But something in the way he sat beside you—his quiet strength, his unwavering support—made it feel a little less like you were drowning.

Finally, Sunghoon spoke again, his voice soft, but full of warmth. "You're not alone in this, Y/N. We'll figure it out. Together."

You nodded, your chest tightening again, but not from sadness this time. It was something else, something soft and almost like relief. The tension in your body didn't disappear, but somehow, it wasn't as heavy.

You swallowed hard, feeling a mix of relief and something else you couldn't quite place. But before you could pull away, Sunghoon's voice stopped you.

"I know what happened with the other two."

Your heart stopped. You looked at him, trying to gauge if he was joking. But there was no teasing in his expression, no sign of anger. Just calm understanding. Your chest tightened, and you felt a lump in your throat.

"I… I didn't mean for things to get so complicated," you whispered, your voice small, ashamed.

Sunghoon nodded slowly, his gaze unwavering. "I'm not mad, Y/N. I'm not angry. I understand."

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You felt your mind spinning, all the thoughts crashing into each other. This—this thing you were doing, the mess you were making—it was all too much. You couldn't handle the guilt, couldn't deal with the weight of it anymore.

You turned your head, your hands shaking as you reached up to tie your hair up. You felt frantic, out of control, and the only thing that came to your mind was to offer something—anything—to make it right. To stop feeling so wrong.

"You—" you started, but your voice was shaky, desperate. "You want me to—want me to give you head? I could—" Your hands were still moving frantically, trying to tie your hair up, anything to stop the overwhelming pressure building in your chest. "I'll make it right, I'll do whatever you want, just… please, tell me what you want, and I'll do it."

You felt the panic rise in your throat, your breathing shallow, as the words tumbled out before you could stop them. The sense of needing to fix everything by any means possible—it was overwhelming.

But Sunghoon's reaction wasn't what you expected. His hand gently caught yours, stopping your movements, and when you looked up at him, his eyes were filled with something softer than you had expected. There was no anger, no judgment. But there was something else—something that made your chest tighten even more.

He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Y/N…” His voice cracked a little, and you could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You don't need to do that. You don't need to fix anything. You don't have to give me anything." His thumb gently brushed against your wrist, calming you in a way that no words could. "You don't need to make up for anything."

Your body froze, the reality of what he said hitting you harder than anything else. "But… I… I hurt you, Sunghoon. I hurt you all. I just… I don't know how to make it stop. I don't know how to fix this."

He shook his head softly, his voice quiet but full of emotion. "You don't need to fix anything, Y/N. You're not the problem. You're… you're human. You're allowed to make mistakes. You're allowed to be confused. Just… let yourself be okay with that."

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time, they weren't full of guilt or panic. They were filled with something else. Vulnerability. Acceptance. The weight you'd been carrying felt lighter somehow, but the release of it only made the rawness of your feelings crash in on you harder.

"You don't have to apologize for everything," Sunghoon whispered, his voice soft. "You don't have to be perfect. You just need to let yourself feel. Let yourself breathe."

You bit your lip, trying to hold back the flood of emotions that were threatening to break free, but they came anyway—hot and fast, rolling down your cheeks. You hadn't realized how much you needed someone to say that. To say you didn't have to fix everything, that it was okay to be lost for a while.

You let yourself lean into him then, letting the weight of everything go as he held you close.

Sunghoon didn't let go. He just held you—comforting, steady, as you cried, letting the tears wash away all the guilt and uncertainty you'd been carrying.

When the tears finally slowed, you pulled away, your face flushed from crying. You looked up at him, sniffing and wiping at your eyes, still feeling so vulnerable, so raw.

"I'm sorry," you whispered again, your voice hoarse. "I don't know what I'm doing."

Sunghoon's smile was small but soft, his eyes kind. "You don't have to know. Just… be you. That's enough."

You nodded, feeling a sense of peace that you hadn't expected to find so suddenly. But it was there, soft and comforting in his presence. It was enough.

Sunghoon's grip on your hands tightened just a little, like he was grounding you in this moment, as you slowly calmed down. He looked at you with that same calm and understanding expression, as if he wasn't about to rush you into anything—something that made the overwhelming pressure in your chest ease just a bit more.

"You don't have to make any decisions right now, Y/N," he said softly, his voice steady. "You don't have to choose between us right away." He took a deep breath, his eyes soft and earnest as he spoke, like he was giving you permission to take your time. "I'll talk to the guys. We'll figure this out together, okay? But you need to take some time to think, to breathe. We'll give you space to sort out your feelings. You don't have to make any decisions while you're still… figuring it out."

You swallowed, nodding slowly as his words sunk in. It was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You didn't have to rush into anything. You didn't have to make some grand gesture to fix everything. You could just be—take things one step at a time.

His hand brushed against your cheek gently, wiping away a stray tear that had fallen during your moment of vulnerability. The gesture felt so tender, so comforting, like he was there, not to pressure you, but to support you as you figured out what to do next.

"I know it's a mess," Sunghoon said, his voice low, almost apologetic. "But we'll make it work, Y/N. I'm not going anywhere. None of us are." He paused, his gaze never leaving yours. "And neither are you."

You nodded again, this time feeling a bit more at ease. There was a deep part of you that appreciated the way he was handling everything—giving you space, but still offering his support, not expecting you to have it all figured out immediately.

"I'm sorry for making everything so complicated," you murmured, your voice small.

"Hey," Sunghoon said, his tone firm yet gentle, "You don't have to apologize for feeling things. You didn't ask for this mess, and you don't have to fix it all at once. Just… breathe. It's going to be okay."

You felt the last of the tension in your chest slowly start to unwind. His words, his presence, his understanding—they were a comfort, a balm to the rawness you'd been carrying.

"It'll be okay," Sunghoon added quietly, as if to reassure you further. "We'll figure this out. We're all in this together. And you don't have to do it alone."

You let out a shaky breath, feeling a tear slip down your cheek despite the calmness washing over you. But this time, it wasn't sadness—it was relief.

"Thank you," you whispered, the words coming out more heartfelt than you'd expected.

Sunghoon gave you a soft smile, nodding in reassurance. "Anytime, Y/N. Anytime."

For a while, the two of you sat there in silence, just sharing the moment. It wasn't easy, but it was a step toward something. Something that felt like understanding, something that felt like hope. And for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to lean into that, to let the quiet moment settle in your heart.

Days after that moment with Sunghoon were filled with a haze of sleepless nights and quiet mornings. You'd distanced yourself—not because the boys pushed you away, but because they didn't. They gave you the space Sunghoon had promised. No probing questions. No passive-aggressive comments. Just… distance. And somehow, that hurt even more.

It was strange being in your own house again. The quiet felt unfamiliar. Cold. You had no one laughing in the next room. No shared meals or dumb banter or movies left half-watched on the couch. Just you. Alone with your thoughts.

Which was why, three days later, you found yourself curled up on the bed with your phone pressed to your ear, waiting for the FaceTime to connect.

"Holy finally!" Taehyun's face popped onto the screen, a dramatic groan escaping him as Hueningkai leaned over his shoulder, grinning.

"We thought you died," Kai added, waving. "Or worse—got a boyfriend and forgot about us."

You let out a laugh that didn't quite reach your eyes. "Not exactly."

Taehyun narrowed his eyes immediately. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"I—" You hesitated, fingers curling in the blanket bunched around your knees. "It's been… a lot."

Hueningkai sat up straighter. "This have something to do with the last time you called? The whole Jay-being-your-fake-boyfriend thing?"

You nodded slowly. "It's not fake anymore."

Taehyun's eyebrows shot up, but he stayed quiet, waiting for you to continue.

You swallowed. "Something happened. With Jake. Then… something else happened. With Jay. And then, I… I had a breakdown in front of Sunghoon. And that turned into a whole thing too."

It took a moment, but both of them visibly deflated. The teasing drained from their faces, replaced by concern and understanding.

You explained everything. Every confusing, tangled detail. The kiss at the gate with Jake. That night in your room. The aftermath. Jay on the porch. That night in his room. Sunghoon on the rooftop. The crying. The panic. The shame. All of it spilled out like floodgates had burst open.

By the time you finished, your eyes were glassy, and your throat ached from trying not to cry again.

"They've been nothing but good to me," you whispered. "And I just… keep messing it all up."

Taehyun was quiet for a beat, and then he said, "Y/N, you're not messing anything up. You're just human. This—what you're feeling—it's complicated, sure. But you're allowed to be confused. You're allowed to feel everything you're feeling."

Kai nodded slowly. "Honestly? It doesn't even sound like a love triangle. It's a love circle at this point."

That startled a laugh out of you, wet and breathless. "That's not helping."

"Okay, but listen," Taehyun cut in gently. "You've been through a lot. You moved, you got hit with Heeseung out of nowhere, and suddenly these guys show up who make you feel things you're not ready for. That's a lot."

"And none of them seem angry at you," Kai pointed out. "Which means they're probably feeling the same things you are. Scared. Confused. Maybe a little hopeful."

You looked down. "I feel gross."

"You're not," Taehyun said firmly. "You didn't lead anyone on. You're trying to be honest. It's just… messy. Love is messy. You know that better than anyone."

You let the silence sit for a moment, heart beating unevenly.

"I didn't mean to get attached," you said finally, your voice small, fragile. "I really tried not to. But it's like… it just happened when I wasn't paying attention. One second I was just grateful to have people being nice to me, and then…"

You trailed off, trying to catch your breath as the weight of your own confession settled around you.

Taehyun's expression softened. "And then it felt like home, didn't it?"

Your eyes stung. "Yeah."

Hueningkai leaned forward, his teasing long gone. "You let your guard down. That's not weakness, Y/N. That's trust."

"But that's the problem," you whispered, hands gripping the edge of your blanket. "I trusted too easily. I crossed too many lines. I hurt them. And I hate myself for it."

Taehyun shook his head slowly. "You didn't hurt them by feeling something. You didn't do anything wrong by catching feelings."

You blinked hard, looking away. "But I didn't just catch feelings for one of them. That's the part that makes me feel disgusting."

There was a beat of silence. Then Kai asked gently, "Do you regret any of it?"

Your stomach twisted. You thought about Jake's nervous laughter, Jay's quiet intensity, Sunghoon's unwavering calm.

"No," you admitted, voice cracking. "That's what scares me."

Taehyun's voice was firm but kind. "You got attached because they treated you like you mattered. Because they made you feel seen. That's not something you should punish yourself for."

Kai raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, unless you ghost them all and move to the states. Then maybe we'll judge you a little."

You snorted, wiping your face with your sleeve. "I thought about it."

"Don't," Taehyun said. "You're not broken. You're just… figuring it out. And they clearly care about you enough to give you time to do that. That says a lot."

You looked at both of them, your chest tight. "I don't deserve any of you."

Kai huffed. "Stop that. You do. You just forgot for a little while."

You nodded slowly, a breath catching in your throat. "I guess… I just don't know who I am without all the noise right now."

"Then this is the part where you find out," Taehyun said, his voice low but steady. "Take the time. Ask yourself the real questions. What do you want? Not who wants you. Not who needs you. You."

That settled deep in your bones—something real, something that hurt in a good way.

"Yeah," you whispered. "I will."

"Good," Kai said, relaxing back into the couch on his end of the call. "Because if we don't get a dramatic update soon, I swear to god, I will file a missing person's report. Emotionally."

You laughed wetly. "I love you guys."

"We love you more," Taehyun said, smiling. "Now go figure your shit out. We've got your back."

You hung up with a little more strength in your chest, but the decision still loomed over you like a shadow.

You'd opened your heart.

Now you had to decide what to do with it.

The following days blurred into one another like watercolor bleeding into paper. You existed in the quiet in-between, drifting from your room to the kitchen, out to the porch and back again. No more playful teasing from across couches. No more secondhand warmth in a home that wasn't yours but somehow had become one.

You didn't go over. Not even when you heard their laughter on the other side of the wall. Not even when silence settled in, and it felt like they were waiting.

Instead, you sat with it. All of it.

Your guilt. Your want. Your indecision.

You journaled. You overthought. You laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling for hours, cycling through memories like some self-inflicted highlight reel—Jake's laugh against your skin, Jay's voice in the dark, Sunghoon's arms around you when you were breaking.

How could something that had made you feel so whole also tear you apart like this?

Sometimes you hated them for making you feel seen. Other times, you hated yourself for needing it so badly.

There was no clean answer. No neat conclusion. Only the dull ache in your chest and the knowledge that no matter what choice you made, someone was going to get hurt.

And you would lose something—someone—no matter what.

But you couldn't stay in limbo forever.

One night, just after the sun dipped low enough to tint the sky gold, you stood on your porch and stared at their door. Your feet carried you forward before your brain could protest.

The door opened too fast. Jake.

His eyes widened for a split second, but he stepped aside without a word, jaw tight.

Jay was sitting at the table. Sunghoon leaned against the back wall, arms crossed.

All of them looked like they hadn't slept right in days.

You didn't sit. You stood in the middle of the room and met all three of their gazes one by one. No more hiding.

"I'm sorry," you said first. "For all of it. For not knowing what I wanted. For dragging you through it."

Silence.

Then Jay's voice, low: "You don't have to apologize for feeling something."

"But I do," you insisted, voice cracking. "Because I didn't just feel something. I felt… everything. For all of you. And I didn't know how to stop it. I still don't."

Jake looked down. Sunghoon's jaw tensed. Jay didn't move.

Your throat burned. "I've spent days trying to figure it out. To pick a side. But the truth is… I loved the way Jake made me feel like joy was still possible. I loved how Jay made me feel safe. And I loved the way Sunghoon never asked me to be anything more than exactly what I was."

Jake swallowed hard. "Don't do this just to make us feel better."

"I'm not," you whispered. "I needed to say it. Because I don't know if I get to keep saying anything after tonight."

Still, none of them moved. The tension stretched like a held breath.

You stepped back, chest tight. "I've made my decision."

Their eyes snapped to yours.

"I know now," you said, voice low. Steady. "I know what I want."

The silence was sharper this time, a breath held between all of you.

Jake blinked, eyes searching. Sunghoon's lips parted, like he might speak but thought better of it. Jay looked down, then back up at you.

And then—you said it.

Just a name. Just once. And everything shifted.

Jake looked away first, nodding slowly, jaw tightening. No anger. Just acceptance.

Jay's eyes closed for a second—relief or heartbreak, you couldn't tell.

Sunghoon took the longest to react. He didn't move at all until finally, he exhaled. A soft breath, then a quiet, unreadable smile.

No one cried. No one yelled. No one left.

But you knew it was the beginning of something. And the end of something else.

You just didn't know yet what came after.

The camera was angled awkwardly, bouncing slightly as your phone leaned against the mirror. You were mid–toothbrush, foam clinging to the corners of your mouth, hair a mess from sleep and cheeks still warm from last night.

On-screen, Taehyun and Hueningkai were already in full chaotic mode.

"I'm telling you," Kai was saying, waving a spoon of cereal like it was a weapon, "this guy came up to me at the convenience store and asked if I wanted to buy his mixtape. I said no, and he still shoved it in my hand! Who carries CDs anymore?!"

Taehyun snorted. "You? Apparently."

You laughed through the foam in your mouth, spitting into the sink. "You have 'CD buyer energy,' Kai. Just admit it."

"Wow," he said flatly. "Betrayed by the one person I thought had taste."

As you reached for your towel, something behind you caught Taehyun's eye. He leaned closer to his screen.

"Wait…" he squinted. "Is that… is that an extra toothbrush?"

You froze for half a second. Just a beat. Then casually kept patting your face dry.

"What extra toothbrush?" you asked, too innocently.

Hueningkai leaned in now too. "Oh my god. It is! That's not yours. Yours is the purple one—who's the blue one?!"

"Must be a reflection," you said quickly.

"In the mirror?"

"Wouldn't you two like to know," you smirked, tossing the towel over the edge of the sink.

Taehyun's mouth dropped open. “Y/N—”

"Who is it?" Kai gasped dramatically. "Don't tell me you actually made a choice."

Before you could answer—or deflect again—a voice called faintly from offscreen:

"Babe! Did you see where I left my hoodie?"

You froze for just a second… and then smiled slowly.

"Bye!!" you said sweetly, grabbing your phone.

"WAIT—" Taehyun shouted.

"WHO'S WAITING FOR YOU?!" Kai screamed, full panic in his tone.

But you were already hitting end, cheek sore from grinning.

Somewhere behind you, footsteps padded closer. A soft laugh. And then a warm arm wrapped around your waist as you leaned back into the person you chose.

"Come on, the other two are already waiting for us."

And this time, you didn't feel unsure at all.

© all rights reserved ─ @gyu-tori 2025

Rei's Notes ✎: Uhm... hi? I'm back alive yippie!! I think a 22k fic is enough as an apology for how long I've been gone. To be honest I don't think I'm back at my peak motivation and skill to write yet but I owe you guys a story after a while. I still hope you enjoy it, especially since thees smut again teehee. Trying a new way to approach graphics too!! Decided to write a long one since I’m not sure how long til my next one. As always I'd love to hear your thoughts and how this made you feel so leave a reblog or reply!! <33

⟢ Taglist: @yunverie @dawngyu @hueningstar @hhoneyhan @immelissaaa @lovingbeomgyudayone @xylatox @i-like-to-read-at-4am @pagelets @isjsnsjsn @laylasbunbunny @riribelle @highway-143 @dearestdreamies @strxwbloody @deobitifull @enhaformysanity @httpenhoon @kissesfrombella @m1kkso @saejinniestar @mariegalea If you want to be tagged in all of my fics, go here to be added to my permanent taglist.

[arbitrarykiwi]

I absolutely LOVE your thanos and namgyu boyfriend content🙏😣 can you please make one where Namgyu is more on the sub side (he’s very whiny and needy) and he also gets jealous easily (like he always needs your hands on him even while giving thanos attention) That would be so greatly appreciated!!💕 (I never see sub Namgyu anywhere😭😭)

Undivided Attention

OH MY LAWD IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I’m so sorry I’ve been gone so long too 😔😔 I’ve missed you guys!!! I literally had this written for months and just needed to finish something’s up- then I broke my phone, lost my WIPs and got locked out of this account for a moment but we’re SO BACK YALL!

My posting schedule will still be wonky as I try to get back into the swing of things. But I really hope you guys like this one I tried to add a lil more to make it a bigger gift as apology for my absence 🤲

Warnings: smut (18+) , p in v sex , oral (m receiving) , choking , dirty talk , sub!nam-gyu , name calling (slut like once or twice) , little bit of thanos x namgyu , squirting , creampie , cum eating , deep throating , cowgirl, probably others read at your own risk

The whole day you’ve realized something was different about Nam-Gyu. It wasn’t anything bad he was just needy. Thanos had of course noticed it too, poking fun at the other male anytime a pout formed on Nam-gyu’s face.

He was clingy, more so than usual.

When you got out of the shower Nam-gyu and Thanos were waiting for you as you got out like normal. Laugher bubbled out of your chest as Nam-gyu nearly knocks over Thanos to be the one to wrap the towel around you. His arms wrap around you and chin hooking over your shoulder- caging you into him as his lips pepper kisses on your still wet skin.

“C’mon man! I could have sworn it was my turn to do that.” Thanos pouts, regaining his balance and coming to your other side to place a kiss on your cheek. “Don’t care, didn’t ask.” Nam-gyu mumbles against your skin, breathing in the smell of the soap you just used. He’s rubbing his face into your neck, like he can’t get enough of you. The long black hair falling over his face and ticking your neck. Thanos quirks up an eyebrow, catching your eyes in the mirror; both of you sensing Nam-gyu’s new attitude.

You realized throughout the day that Nam-gyu was unusually needy. You weren’t complaining! It was endearing and you loved the extra attention. But it was drastically different from his normal self. Nam-gyu would often act so nonchalant about everything, he would need your attention but he’d never beg for it- he was far too ‘cool’ for that. If he wanted your hands on him or your attention, he would just take it. But not today.

When you were getting ready, doing your makeup in the mirror Nam-Gyu was next to you- handing you whatever you needed next and sitting shoulder to shoulder with you. “You’re practically on top of me.” You giggle while looking at Nam-gyu through the mirror who had his head laying on your shoulder, his hands tracing patterns into your thigh. It was like he physically couldn’t be away from you. Like he needed to be in your skin.

Thanos was lying on the bed behind you two, chuckling at Nam-gyu’s demeanor. “You’re so needy today bro..” Thanos laughs, hands reaching out to rub at Nam-gyu’s shoulders, shaking him around. “So what.” Nam-gyu responds, pouting, leaning his head onto your shoulder and inhaling your scent. “Jus’ wanna be near my baby.” He finishes as he places a kiss on your shoulder, handing you your eyeliner.

“You’ve been near her! The whole day!” Thanos jokes, ruffling up Nam-gyu’s hair much to his dismay. “Yeah, and I need to be near her more…you smell so good.” His own bite back to Thanos is cut short when he inhales your scent once more, smelling the familiar scent of your shampoo and perfume. It was like home to him (and to Thanos but this ain’t about him rn).

“Thank you, love.” You smile at him from the mirror where you’re doing your makeup, finding a stopping point to look to your side and place a gentle kiss on Nam-gyu’s head. Thanos rolls his eyes and leans further over the edge of the bed to get closer to you. “Me too!!” He whines playfully, and you can’t say no so you turn and place a kiss on his cheek. Nam-gyu huffs, pouting when your attention is drawn away from him. Even for the slightest second.

This attitude of his continued the whole day. Hell, you three even ordered in because Nam-gyu said he didn’t feel like cooking, and that was odd. He really just didn’t want to be distracted by making dinner when he could be spending time with his sweet girl! Those minutes cooking were minutes he couldn’t have his hands on you. He didn’t want that….And led up to where you were now

You three were laid out on your bed, watching some show that Thanos wanted to watch. You’re sure three blunts have been smoked by now and all three of you were properly stoned. You’d figure that maybe if Nam-Gyu got high, he’d be a little more mellow, maybe more laid back- that wasn’t the case. Now he was practically on top of you, nuzzling his face into your chest like he wanted to get into your skin.

“Come on man! You’re stealing all the warmth!” Thanos groans, trying to wrap his arms around you to pull you more into him. “No ‘m not.” Nam-gyu mumbles, his face buried in your chest, his words hardly audible. “Yes you are!!” Thanos groans, sliding an arm between you and Nam-Gyu to grab onto your waist and pull you closer to him. Thanos kisses along your neck, the light pecks becoming ticklish as he kisses your skin over and over as you giggle.

Nam-gyu whines when Thanos pulls you from him and takes your attention. It’s a sound that makes you and Thanos pause completely. Both of your heads turn to Nam-Gyu, eyes wide like you both made the sound up. But when you and Thanos look over to him and catch Nam-Gyu’s eyes, his face is tinged red and he can’t even look at either of you.

“Dude o-oh my god! The fuck was that!!” Thanos says chuckling, leaning over you to playfully push at Nam-gyu’s shoulder. Nam-gyu hides his face, covering it with his ringed hands and huffing. “N-nothing! Shut up!!” Nam-Gyu says sitting up to try and get away from you two, he doesn’t even know what came over him. He just doesn’t want your attention to stray from him. It’s like a drug he craves. Normally he was good at sharing- he had to be for this situation between the three of you to continue the way it has, something today made him just need your attention; all of it. He was so needy.

You jump up and crawl on the bed so you’re situated between his legs. It takes so much strength to pry his hands off his face. You’re cooing at him, a sickly sweet smile on your face as you nudge his nose with yours to get him to open his eyes. Reluctantly, he meets your gaze, he’s blushing, fuck you have never EVER seen him like this.

You reach up, cupping either side of his face in your hands. “What’s up with you, baby?” You inquire. As you coddle him, Thanos slips behind Nam-gyu, resting back against the headboard of the bed, his legs spreading out on either side of Nam-gyu. The pout that forms on his face is so precious, his cheeks somewhat squished by your hands. “Nothin’s wrong…jus’ wanna touch you ‘n he’s taking you away from me.” Nam-gyu’s words are slurred by how you’re squishing his face. It feels so weird, so foreign to him. But all he can feel is need. An innate desire to have you just use him and take whatever you want from him.

Thanos sneakily wraps his arms around Nam-Gyu from the back, pulling him back onto his chest. Nam-gyu wants to turn around and scowl at Thanos but the way you follow him, crawling over his lap and straddling his legs has him in a trance. Thanos’ legs cage your thighs against Nam-gyu’s. You can’t help but bite your lip at the view of Thanos’ tattooed hands begin to bunch up Nam-Gyu’s shirt to reveal his pale skin. Your hands immediately run up Nam-gyu’s thighs, trailing to his stomach, letting out a small hum when you feel his stomach tense under your light touches.

“What’s got you so needy today?” You muse, leaning down so your breath fans over the skin of his stomach. Your eyes looking up at his flushed face, swollen lips parted as Nam-Gyu takes in breath after shuddering breath.

“F-fuck I don’t know.” Nam-gyu huffs, wiggling in Thanos grasp. “I-I just…” He’s frustrated, not even fully understanding why he felt the way he did. He and Thanos had always been the dominate two in your relationship, he had never had an issue with sharing. Hell, Choi Su-Bong was the only man Nam-gyu thought he could ever have a set up like this with. But he just needed you.

Needed your attention. Your praise. Your touch.

You watch as his eyes follow your fingers, dancing along his abdomen as you glare at him like a cheetah ready to pounce- that only makes him writhe against bed more. “‘S okay, baby…” you purr, grin only widening at his reaction to your words. Nam-gyu bites his bottom lip, hips canting off the bed as his aching cock searches for any sort of friction. “Imma take care of you, yeah? Make you feel reallllll good, like I always do.”

As you speak your fingers dance lower, tracing the dark patch of hair that runs to his waistband and disappears into the jeans. Nam-gyu’s head kicks back against Thanos’ shoulder, every touch feels like he might explode in his pants. Your fingers are just tracing circles around his pants button and he swears that sensation alone- you stroking the metal button and in turn, the underside of his cock.

“Mhm…yeah.” Nam-Gyu grunts out in a breathy tone, expecting you to get to work- take him into your warm, inviting mouth and let him lose himself in ecstasy. But he’s doesn’t feel the relief of his pants being unbuttoned or the cool room air hitting his throbbing cock- nope. Your hand pulls back from circling his button and he doesn’t feel you at all.

“Earn it.” Your grin stretches across your lips wickedly. Nam-gyu looks at you in disbelief, eyebrow arched like you’re speaking a foreign language. “W-what do you-“

His body jerks up off the bed when Thanos tattooed hand pinches at his nipple. Fuck he never thought he’d be into this shit, being at the mercy of both of you, but here he is- cock rock hard, becoming painful at this point, and only getting harder the longer he’s trapped between you and Thanos.

Your hand grips hardly at the bulge that is straining so hard against his jeans. “Beg for it.” You simply say, your head tilting to the side, grin widening. “Oh damn!” Thanos laughs, tattooed hands dancing along Nam-gyu’s chest, “Never seen this side of you, pretty.” Thanos eyes narrow mischievously, smile growing to match yours. His hands fall down to Nam-gyu’s hips, caging Nam-gyu impossibly closer, limiting his ability to writhe against your hand for more. In turn, pressing the whining males back against his own throbbing cock.

“A-ah fuck…that’s it…” Thanos hisses in a low growl, interrupting your next words, head rolling back when the pressure of Nam-Gyu eases the pain of the erection he has. Thanos never thought he’d see you- the girl they fucked to tears, the one always begging for them- in such a dominant position. And the feeling that bloomed inside of him when he was witnessing Nam-gyu turn into a pathetic mess under your touch is something Thanos thinks not even the best acid trip could replicate.

Nam-gyu tries to look between the two of you the best he can given his position. His heart is racing, his dick is painfully hard. “P-please.” Nam-gyu huffs out, eyebrows knitted together as the foreign word falls off his tongue. “F-fuck please… just fuckin’ take it out.” He whines, hips canting upwards against your hand.

Admittedly, you’re impatient and the thought of feeling his hard cock against your tongue excited you in ways you can’t describe. Your hand works at the button of his jeans, pulling down the golden zipper to reveal his grey boxers- already stained a darker grey right where his tip sits. You and Thanos let out similar mocking laughs, it’s almost shameful how worked up he is just by this little attention from you.

“So excited aren’t you baby~” you coo, a manicured nail tracing along the tip of his cock through his boxers, trailing your finger down the thick tent that’s formed. The moan that rips through Nam-gyu’s throat takes all of you off guard. It’s creaky, whiny, almost pleading as he bucks up into your hands. “You’re this hard just from her playing with you?” Thanos mocks, pinning his hips down, bringing Nam-gyu back against his own throbbing cock.

“I just… f-fuck ohmygod please I need your hand o-or mouth fuck! Anything!” Nam-gyu wants to bite back at Thanos words but his dark eyes are trained on you, head low, breath fanning against his hard on that visibly twitches under the cotton of his boxers. Thanos’ painted nails dip under the waist band of Nam-gyu’s boxers, pushing the fabric down. “I think we should at least let him out of this clothes, he’s so hard it probably hurts…” Thanos muses in a low voice, like he’s mocking Nam-gyu (and he is), eyes locking with yours over Nam-gyu’s shoulder.

You lift up a bit, assisting Thanos in removing Nam-gyu’s pants and boxers. The shuddering sigh Nam-gyu lets out as his hard cock slaps free against his abdomen makes your clit throb. “A-ah Fuck!” You watch as his body convulses when Thanos grips the base of his cock. Tattoos hands gripping the shaft as his eyes lock with yours. “Open up.”

With a devious grin and your eyes trailing back over to lock eyes with Nam-Gyu, your mouth drops open, tongue lolling out, sitting pretty and pink- so ready for him. Thanos slaps Nam-gyu’s hearty cock against your tongue, a wet plap plap plap sound resonates throughout the room. Each time Nam-Gyu’s cock connects with the warm, wet surface of your eager tongue he thinks he could come then and there. He doesn’t even know why he’s letting Thanos touch him like this- this wasn’t normal for him- but holt fuck did he like it. He liked being under the control of both of you and most importantly….

He had your undivided attention. Thanos was simply an aide right now, helping you pleasure him- your eyes were trained on him, your tongue was lapping at the head of his cock, you were doting on him and him alone. This is what he wanted.

“Hngghhh, oh fuck. S-so fuckin pretty like that.” Nam-gyu whines, hips bucking up into Thanos hand to rub even more of his cock on your tongue. You smile, lips pursing to press a languid kiss to the tip of his cock, tongue taking a moment to lap over the leaking slit. “Thank you, love.” You hum, batting your eyelashes. Your words are nearly drowned out by Nam-gyu’s whines that fall without abandon the moment he gets the briefest feeling of your mouth wrapped partially around him.

“Use your words. Tell her what you want.” Thanos says, voice gravely as he squeezes his hand just the slightest bit more, laughing to himself as Nam-gyu jolts off the bed at his movement. “I…” Nam-gyu’s head falls back against Thanos’ shoulder as he falls breathless, swallowing thickly as he tries to speak again. “I need y-your mouth. F-fuck pleaseeee.” He draws out the last syllable into a high creaky whine that has arousal soaking through your underwear.

He’s granted the solace of your mouth soon after he begs. Your lips wrap around the reddened tip, slowly taking him into your mouth. He wants to thrust down into your tight, warm, throat but Thanos keeps his hips pinned down, your hand replacing his as you begin to work it up and down Nam-gyu’s shaft. The room fills with the debauched sounds of your slurps and Nam-gyu’s whines.

You give him a show, pulling back every so often to spit messily down his cock before diving right back down to sink him deep into your throat. Nam-gyu thinks he’s seeing stars, his thighs tense and his toes curl as he cries out mixed babbles of your name and ‘more’.

Removing your hand from Nam-gyu’s cock, keeping your other hand planted on the bed for balance, you bring your hand to between your legs. Thankfully the shirt (really one of Thanos’) was the only thing you were wearing besides a pair of underwear. You push the thin fabric to the side. Your hands find your cunt, fingers massaging up and down your folds as you sink your mouth alllllll the way down Nam-gyu’s cock. Your eyes never leave Nam-gyu’s as he looks down at the show you’re giving him. “H-holy f-fuck…wanna fuck! Wanna feel how wet you are…” he whines, licking his lips at the thought of how wet you must be right now. Your poor cunt neglected and drooling. Fuck he needs your sweet cunt so bad. His mind is reeling with these thoughts, only serving to make him even harder.

“Yeahhh…you know she’s so fuckin’ wet. The slut loves to suck us off, I bet her pussy’s just dripping from choking on your cock.” Thanos muses, watching with a hawk like stare as you move up and down Nam-Gyu’s dick. “So fuckin’ messy, isn’t she?” The purple haired man adds, nudging the man seated in front of him to answer.

“Mhm… s-so holyfuck so fuckin messy, taking it all so well.” Nam-gyu gasps, his voice is wavering and high pitched, the sound makes your eyes flutter closed and moan around him. He can’t keep his eyes off the mess of spit that pours out from around your mouth and on the skin of his pelvis.

You sit up, pulling off his cock with a lewd ‘pop’. Nam-gyu opens his mouth to complain but doesn’t even have time to protest before your fingers are entering his mouth and his tongue is flooded with the all too familiar taste of you. He was right, you were wet, so fucking wet. Your fingers were covered in your arousal and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. His lips wrap around your fingers and suck them into his mouth greedily, letting you push your fingers back into his mouth. Even as he gags around your fingers he doesn’t stop cleaning them, tongue swirling around the digits to get every last drop.

You can’t help but moan at the sight. He’s taking your fingers down his throat and locking eyes with you. His cock is resting hard against his abdomen, neglected and making a mess of his stomach. You pull your fingers out of his mouth and quickly move to wrap your lips around his thick cock once more.

You work yourself skillfully, taking all of him in despite the ache in your jaw. Your spit has all but coated his lower stomach but Nam-Gyu doesn’t care one bit. With every drag of your tongue along his cock he’s twitching pathetically against the bed.

“Tell her how good she’s making you feel.” Thanos rasps, thumbs running over Nam-gyu’s nipples as he rests back against Thanos’ chest.

Thanos’ words are nearly lost between the sounds of your debauched slurps and gags as you work your mouth up and down Nam-gyu’s cock. “F-fuck! S-so god damn good…best fuckin mouth.” Nam-gyu’s voice is high pitched, whiny almost, its music to your ears. It spurs you on, pulling back to spit on his cockhead.

Your wrist twists viciously, pumping up and down his thick length as your thumb collects the globs of pre-cum that leak continuously out of his slit. “Yeah?” You coo, leaning in to lock lips with him in a messy kiss. It’s full of spit, tongue and teeth. You can hear Nam-gyu pant into your mouth, shuddering each time you thumb at the crown of his cock- right under his throbbing cock head. “This what you needed baby? Jus’ needed to be taken care of?” Your words are slurred against his lips. Thanos growls at the visual in front of him, his two favorite people connected in the most filthy way.

Nam-Gyu nods frantically, letting out mixed gasps of you and Thanos name. The feeling of your mouth and hands working his cock to filth and Thanos’ fingers running up and down his torso, stoping every so often to pull at his nipples- it has him going insane. His thighs are jittering against the bed. Thanos reaches one hand up to grip at your chin and he pulls you into a sloppy kiss.

Nam-gyu doesn’t know why, normally the image would turn him on, something about watching you and Thanos make out always made his dick throb…. but now all he can think about is how your attention isn’t on him. He musters all the strength he can to pick his shaking hands up from the bed to grip at the back of your hair and yank you off of Thanos. You two pull away with a string of saliva connecting the two of you together, the shiny strand falling and cascading down your breasts.

Thanos is saying something, probably a retort or complaining about the kiss being ruined but you can’t hear him. Nam-gyu is maneuvering you back towards him, molding his lips with yours in a desperate kiss. His lips are practically twitching, soft moans and whines fill your mouth as each time your pillowy lips touch his, it sends violent electric shocks up Nam-gyu’s body. “S-so needy…” you muse through the kiss, trying to pull away to sink your mouth back on his cock, but he is chasing your lips so fervently.

You end up placing a hand to his throat, squeezing ever so gently as you push him back, the view of his eyes fluttering shut and his mouth agape is a straight up pornographic view that you know will replay in your head for days to come. Your eyebrow quirks up, your hand giving another experimental squeeze. Nam-gyu lets out a high pitched moan, one that’s so breathy you almost didn’t catch it.

“So you like getting choked, huh?” Thanos muses, punctuating his words by reaching down and beginning to jerk Nam-Gyu off. Nam-gyu winces, moaning put another choked mix of your names as his hips rut up into Thanos’ grasp. “Y’know we always call her a slut…but looks like you were just as much as one all along ‘Gyu~” Thanos teases, you get a front row view to the way Nam-gyu’s face contorts to try and bite out an insult but he can’t- not with the way you’re squeezing his throat and Thanos is pumping his cock.

Nam-gyu bites his lip, a choked breath catching in his throat but he doesn’t respond. Your grin widens, you catch Thanos eyes from where he’s sitting behind Nam-gyu. Both of you make the same movement, Thanos’ hand tightens around Nam-gyu’s cock and your hand squeezes harder at his throat. Leaning closer to Nam-gyu’s face, your lips centimeters away from his, you speak, “Answer him.”

Nam-gyu lets out a soft moan at your words, your tone something he hasn’t seen before- normally him and Thanos were the one breaking you! Never in his life did he think he’d end up here…his best friend jerking his cock while their shared girlfriend chokes him like a dominatrix. He leans forward to capture your lips once again, trying to make your dominance falter and not obeying you. It’s so hard to do with your hand holding his neck but he tries.

You laugh, it’s a cute attempt, you’ve never seen Nam-gyu so desprate. “What do you want sweet boy, ya gotta use your words..” You hum, leaning forward to spit down on his hefty cock, Nam-Gyu moans the most high pitched, creaky, downright sinful sound you’ve ever heard as he watches Thanos rub your spit up and down his cock. “F-fuck, w-wanna taste you princess, w-want you to sit on my- ohmygod- my face.”

Thanos chuckles, the sound of his best friend being so desperate makes his cock throb painfully. Thanos knows that if Nam-gyu is eating you out, your pretty little mouth would be all for him to use- the thought makes him move so fast. He lets out a small huff and releases Nam-gyu’s cock, moving out from behind him and helping to lower his fucked out form to the pillows. You look to Thanos, a scowl on your face, you wanted to make him beg more!

“Easy, give the man what he deserves…” Thanos says looking at you, an almost challenging look in his eyes. “We treat you so good, no? You get a little bit of dominance and it gets to your head?” Thanos says shuffling on the bed to wrap his hands in your hair and pull you to him. His teeth are gritted, you may be in charge or Nam-gyu but you sure as hell weren’t the most dominant one here, he would remind you of that. “‘Gyu has an issue that needs to be fixed… he was good and followed your directions, right?” You nod.

Nam-gyu tightens his grip on your thighs, rutting his hard cock up into your clothed heat. Your attention was not on him! “Fuck please!” He whines, pulling at your hips to try and slid you up his body to where he needed you. Thanos’ head turns towards Nam-Gyu, scowling at him the same way he was looking at you. “Patience. Not about to have two fucking brats here.” Thanos seethes.

Nam-gyu feels his heart and his cock jump. Is this how you feel when they ruin you? Do you get the same rush of adrenaline when they degrade you with words that verge on the tone of threatening?? If it is, fuck, he needs to have it happen more often. Nam-gyu bites his lip and nods, eyes twisting shut as he thrusts his hips back and forth, dragging his clothed cock along the warmth of your covered pussy.

“..be a good girl…” Thanos scoffs, at least Nam-gyu listened quickly, unlike you most times. He punctuates his words by tightening his grip on your hair, “..and give the needy thing what he wants.” Thanos growls, tilting his head towards Nam-gyu. You swallow, mind flipping between being a brat and obeying Thanos and giving Nam-Gyu what he wants.

But you have never seen Nam-gyu like this, you’ve never heard his voice crack, you’ve never seen him beg. So you stuff down the want to tease and test Thanos and hurriedly rid yourself of soaked lace panties you had pulled to the side. When you crawl your way up Nam-gyu’s bare chest and place your dripping cunt over his face, your thighs caging in his head his eyes are rolling back into his skull. His hands find purchase on your hips, pulling you down to his mouth with so much fervor you have no time to react.

He whines into your cunt, tongue flattening to cover the entire expanse of your pussy, covering each and everything of his tastebuds with the scribe taste of you. He doesn’t know why but he feels like he could cry, god the feeling of your pussy on his tongue was diving him mad, so soft, so sweet. “So- fuck- so god damn good…so wet.” Nam-gyu laps at your cunt, his words slurred and muffled. He pulls back to spit up at your cunt, immediately pulling you back down onto his mouth to slurp up his mess.

Your hands fly to his hair, pulling his face deeper into your pussy. He’s relentless, eating you like a man on death row who was presented his last meal. Nam-gyu’s hands tighten on your hips, the grip almost bruising as he begins to rock you back and forth over his tongue. He’s shameless, really, whining and whimpering into your sopping heat as he greedily slurps down everything you have to offer.

“Mmh…f-fuck so good…mpphh…th-thankyouthankyou…” Nam-gyu babbles below you, his voice high and whiny as you rut against his face. He places kiss after kiss on your needy clit like he’s worshiping you- and he is. You keel over, hand grasping at the headboard to keep yourself upright. He’s truly not giving you a moment to breathe, wriggling his hot tongue into the depths of your soaking walls to carve the shape of the muscle into you. His needy whines, nearing sobs now, make your mind fuzzy.

“He likes eating you out that much?” Thanos chides with a mocking laugh, you’re brought out of your pleasure induced haze. “H-huh??” You muse, blissfully confused as you rock your hips down onto Nam-gyu’s nose. You can hardly form words, your free hand grasping at Nam-gyu’s hair in a damn near painful grip. Anytime a moan falls from your lips the efforts of the man below you become more fervent, your moans only making Nam-gyu slurp harder at your cunt.

Thanos lets out a boisterous laugh seeing your disheveled state. “Not much of a dom if you’re so fucked out by him jus’ eating your pussy.” His words make your tummy burn with even more heat, your eyebrows furrow as you tried to glare at him, trying to make yourself seem more about it…but it’s so hard when Nam-gyu sucks your clit into his mouth, lips wrapping around the bud as his tongue lolls around it lazily.

The large, tattooed rapper doesn’t give you the time of day to prove your dominance. Why would he? He knows exactly how to make you melt and break with just a single move of his thick finger- any attempt at being the dominant one would be shattered just by him staring at you with his dark, hungry, stare. “Fucking look.” He hisses, gripping at your chin to move your gaze over your shoulder.

“The slut can’t even help himself..” Thanos rasps, his words nearly a growl as he places his face close to yours, his words swimming through your ears like some new street drug. “Humping the air like a dog while he eats your cunt.”

A white hot bolt of pleasure shoots through your body as Nam-Gyu moans into your pussy, the vibrations going right to your clit and only adding to the growing heat deep in your stomach. The view is so sinful you think you might just pass out by looking at it. Nam-gyu’s hips jerk up into the air, thick cock jumping against his stomach, leaking all over the dark patch of hair that’s along his pelvis. You have never seen him like this and now you’re sure it’s now one of your favorite views ever.

“And listen to him…” Thanos muses, lips tickling your ear as he lowers his head, teeth grazing at the column of your neck, “needy fuckin’ thing he is…he’s prolly’ crying into your pussy…” You whimper at the idea, Nam-Gyu broken under you, sobbing from the pleasure that he gets from solely eating you out.

It seems like Thanos words don’t only affect you, they affect Nam-gyu. He whines into your cunt, hips jutting upwards. Every needy, wanton moan is muffled by your slick pussy but you can hear they way, between slurps, how the moans only increase in volume- become more creaky- like every mouthful of your arousal is his life essence.

You feel a hand thread in your hair, pulling your face back forward. You’re met with none other than Su-bong grinning down at you, fisting his leaking cock millimeters from your face. “C’mon pretty, ain’t no way he’s ate your pussy so good your mouth is useless…” His voice is low, mocking, punctuated by his hand tightening his hand on your hair.

“S-shut the fuck- oh my god you’re so wet.” Nam-gyu can’t even finish his retort to Thanos before he’s lifting his head back up the slightest bit to slurrppp at a thick glob of your arousal that leaks from your cunt. “Shu-shut the fuck up, ‘m eating her out good.” Nam-gyu whines, looking up at Thanos with a pout on his face. “Tell me ‘m making you feel good, p-please.” Dark eyes dart back up to you, majority of his face shrouded by your thighs, pleading with you to praise his efforts.

You nod, chest heaving and nearly crying from pleasure yourself as you answer, “M-mhm, soo good, jus’ like that baby.” You praise, locking your eyes with his. At your words, his eyes roll back into your head and he slurps at your cunt, lips wrapping around your clit to suck it into his mouth. Nam-gyu is eating you out like it’s the last meal he’d ever get. It’s fucking mind numbing, tongue tracing every fold before shifting you up to push into your walls, hands rocking your hips back and forth over his nose as his tongue fucks into you- tasting every drop of arousal.

You’re brought back to earth by a harsh tug in your hair, twisting your head to look to the side. Face to face with Thanos leaking cock, you lick your lips, mouth dropping open as you eagerly take his dick. “That’s it pretty girl…” He rasps, hands pushing your head down along his shaft, wasting no time in sliding his cock into your throat, “alllll the way down, jus’ like that…” he muses, blown out eyes locked on you, watching you take all of him down your throat.

With Nam-gyu working fervently at your cunt, you’re moaning around Thanos cock immediately between the small gags that are muffled around his girth. The tattooed hand in your hair works you up and down his cock relentlessly- he knows you can take it all - he’s seen you take it all, he’s not wasting anytime. His head falls back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he lets out a deep, guttural, groan. “G-good f-fuckin girl.” Thanos praises, fingers scratching lightly at your scalp as if in a reward.

Nam-gyu doesn’t like that your attention isn’t on him. Sure he knows how to share…all of you have been doing it for years…but, right now he wants all of your attention. All of you.

He has no decision but to work harder. His hands lift you up the slightest bit, deft fingers circling your puffy cunt and collecting your arousal. The stretch of two ringed fingers fucking themselves into you has you surging forward and crying around Thanos’ cock. Nam-gyu knows your body, he’s always been attentive and observant so it makes sense that his fingers are immediately abusing that gummy spot deep inside you that has you seeing stars.

Nam-gyu is transfixed on your cunt, eyes watching as his fingers disappear into your sopping walls and reappear covered in your juices. He’s eaten you out so fervently that your folds are puffy and raw- yet he can see the way your cunt greedily sucks his fingers in. He’s lifting his head up, lips finding your clit once again as his tongue flicks at the sensitive bud. His hips are bucking wildly into the air, grinding his cock against his own stomach, a mess of precum smeared over his abdomen and staining the shirt he still had on.

“Soooo fuckinnngg goooddd~” the words are slurred against your cunt, sending vibrations throughout your pussy. You’re practically sobbing around Thanos’ cock, eyes rolling so far back you’re sure you’d be seeing your skull soon. The feeling of Nam-gyu slurping at your cunt and Thanos using your mouth, grinning down at you with that pleased smirk- it’s mind numbing.

You have to ground yourself. Your hands release themselves from Nam-Gyu’s hair to steady them on Thanos’ thighs, allowing you to take him more, tongue working eagerly at the underside of his cock. “Fuck yeah, such a good fuckin’ cock sucker ain’t ya?” Thanos praises, hand holding your hair in a makeshift ponytail as you work yourself up and down his cock.

The second Nam-Gyu feels your hands release themselves from his hair. He’s realize he’s shared enough for the night. He needs you fully. He can’t even explain the feeling that’s come over him but he needs all of you, he needs your undivided attention as if it’s the air he needs to live. He’s whining pathetically into your cunt, fingers working harder as he fucks them deeper into your tight cunt.

He hears you cry around Thanos’ cock, watching as one of your hands pulls away from his thigh and sits in the air like you’re tying to decide where to hold onto to keep yourself upright- Thanos’ thigh or Nam-gyu’s hair. Your hand moves back to Thanos’ thighs, using them to stabilize yourself as you work harder at his dick, taking him until your nose presses against the trail of hair at the base of his cock.

Not what he wants.

Nam-gyu groans in annoyance, lips sucking at your clit harder, tongue abusing your little clit. But you’re still not focused on him. Sure, you’re moaning at how good he’s making you feel, you’re grinding eagerly into his hand and mouth wanting more- but it’s not enough.

You were far too cock drunk to even realize what Nam-gyu was doing before it’s too late. He’s gripping at your hips and dragging you down his face, his torso. The position is awkward, Thanos has to move with you but you’re still sucking him off.

“Pay attention to me.” Nam-gyu whines. You pull off Thanos’ cock, hands moving to stroke his shaft while you look confused towards Nam-gyu. Is this not what he wanted?

You got your answer soon enough. He was enjoying this. This is exactly what he wanted. He just needed more. More of you.

With skilled, practiced movement he’s planting his feet on the bed and moving you down over his lap and lining his aching cock up with your pussy. He doesn’t wait before he’s sinking you all the way down onto his thick cock. Your cunt sucks him in greedily, stretching around him in the most delicious way. “F-fuck! N-nam-gyu!” Your hands have no option but to pull away from Thanos and plant themselves on Nam-gyu’s chest.

That’s it. There you are.

When Nam-gyu makes eye contact and sees your fucked out expression, lips puffy and raw from sucking thanos off, hands gripping at the fabric of his shirt that was stained with your wetness- he thinks he might just blow his load then and there. His hands grip onto your hips almost painfully.

He doesn’t work his way up to a brutal pace, oh no….he’s waited far too long for that. With his feet planted on the mattress he jackhammers his hips up into you. Each thrust bullies his cock into your cunt, echoed by the sound of skin slapping. A squeal comes from your lips as you fall back the slightest bit, hands coming to find purchase on his knees.

Each thrust jolts you upwards, giving Nam-Gyu a perfect view of your tits bouncing. The way your cunt grips him, like he’s being sucked in has his mind melting. Fuck, you always felt so good. “So fuckin’ tight. Taking me so fucking well, yeah? Tell me you like it, fuck please…tell me I’m doin good…” Nam-gyu rambles, each word is cut off by a heavy breath, a moan, a grunt- he’s practically incoherent. He’s whining. Pleading with you to give him some kind of praise.

“Uh-huh..” you babble breathlessly, one hand moving on its own to reach up and jerk off Thanos- you didn’t want to leave him out for too long, “s-so fucking good!” You cry out. It’s not enough for Nam-Gyu, he wants to take your praise to heart but he can’t focus when your one hand is not on him.

He doesn’t have all of you.

Your eyes, once screwed shut, rip themselves open when you feel Nam-gyu grab your wrist, guiding your hand up down back to him. He presses your palm down on his abdomen and trails it upwards. He guides you to caress his throat- fingers dancing along his Adam’s apple before he brings your hand to his face- nuzzling his cheek into your palm.

“N-need all of you.” He whines, teeth nipping at the skin of your palm. “H-he can get himself off.” Nam-Gyu spits, eyes darting over to Thanos. “T-touch me please….fuck I need it…” He says, his voice a pathetic tone that has you gushing around his thick cock that he grinds up into you.

Thanos wants to be angry, he wants to call Nam-Gyu out for being selfish and greedy- but truly the scene before him was one of the hottest he’s ever seen. He could easily get himself off. He scoffs and grips his cock shuffling closer to jerk himself off over your tits that bounce with the every one of Nam-gyu’s thrusts.

You turn your attention to Nam-gyu, this time fully, with one hand being held by him near his cheek you take your other hand and trail it up and down his torso, feeling each muscle tighten under your touch. “S-so fuckin’ pretty. F-fuck! Jus’ use me, fucking use me.” He pleads, fingernails biting crescent moon shapes into the plush of your hips. Gathering your strength you being to ride him, lifting your hips and slamming them back down.

“That’s it, f-fuck yes feels so fuckin good. Ride me jus’ like that.” He praises, abs tensing as you roll your hips in devious patterns that make him think your part succubus. “Oh fuck ‘m gonna cum.” Nam-gyu whines, eyes screwing shut and head tilting heavenward as he tries to hold on as long as he can- he doesn’t want this to end.

“Make a mess of him sweetheart.” Thanos urges, making you continue to ride Nam-gyu with reckless abandon despite the burning in your thighs. “Pretty pussy of yours gonna make him cum quick.”

Nam-gyu lets out a shuddering breath, one hand reaching between the two of you to thumb circles on your clit. Both of you let out high pitched moans. As he thumbs at your clit he can feel the way you tighten and twitch around him. “O-oh my f-fucking god.” He says, breathless in a sentence that was part laugh part gasp.

You’re close too. Admittedly, teasing Nam-Gyu and seeing this new side of him, seeing him so needy has had you worked up more than you cared to admit. And despite how sloppy his thrusts had become, every time you drive your hips down to meet his thrusts, the tip of his cock presses right against that sweet spot that has your body beginning to bloom with warmth.

“You gonna c-cum?” Nam-gyu looks up at you eyebrows upturned. It’s like he’s begging for you to cum, begging for the feeling of your cunt squeezing his dick like a fluttering vice. You can only nod and let out a breathless ‘uh-huh’, your eyes flicking between the sweet view of Nam-Gyu under you, fucked out and eyes watering and then towards Thanos- lip caught between his teeth as his hand furiously works against his dick.

Normally he wouldn’t be content with just himself, just his own hand. But the way Nam-Gyu is practically sobbing your name, letting out babbled praises of your cunt like it’s a nirvana he keeps driving into with each thrust and the way you are fucking him to tears- the man he normally dominates you with- diminished to a whining mess. Oh yeah. It’s his personal porn. He loves it. “You’re fuckin’ him stupid, ridin’ him so good.” Thanos mumbles as your eyes connect.

“F-fuck no. E-eyes on me. Wanna see your face when you cum.” Nam-gyu says through gritted teeth, a shaky hand reaching up to grab your chin and force you to look at him. “I’m so close, p-pretty. Wanna cum inside s-so fuckin bad, pleaseeee.” The last word is drawn out, syllables jolting with the violent upwards thrust of his cock into your sopping heat.

“Yes! I-inside!” It’s a broken plea, but it’s all he needs before he’s sobbing out your name, head kicking back on the pillows as he fucks into you with reckless abandon. Nam-gyu’s thumb works overtime at your clit, spreading the mess of your arousal around the puffy bud. “G-gonna f-fill you up, ohmygod, so fuckin good for me. Fuck thankyouthankyouthankyou.” Slurred words fall from his lips in nearly incoherent whines as he cums.

You can feel every thick rope of his cum fill you up, coating your insides and leaving his mark for anyone else who would dare to fuck you other than him or Thanos (not that you would ever- you love them too much). It’s so much that it seeps out of you, puddling at the base of his dick and creating thick white strings every time you lift yourself back up and down to fuck him through his orgasm.

The sinful visual that plays in front of Thanos and his hand working his aching cock sends him over the edge soon after Nam-Gyu cums. The warmth of his release hits your chest, marking you in a warm sticky web of white. His head is tipped back towards the ceiling, strings of expletives falling from his lips as he milks himself for every last drop he has, savoring the feeling and the visual of the image before him.

Of course, you can’t hold on either- you cum in succession with the two males. It hits you hard, lighting up your body in a white hot heat. “Y-yeah that’s it, fuck yes, cum all over this fuckin’ cock.. need to feel you fuck, please.” Nam-gyu nearly sobs, hands gripping at the plush fat of your hips to slam you down his cock. Your release gushes out of you, making even more of a mess between the two of you, a slick schlick schlick schlick sound echos as Nam-Gyu tries his best to fuck you through your orgasm despite his own overstimulation.

Your body vibrates, “Oh fuck!!”, it’s a broken cry as you ride out your orgasm, chest heaving. When you come down, breath evening out, you look down at Nam-Gyu then over to Thanos. Thanos chuckles breathlessly, the hand that wasn’t jerking himself off reaches up to brush your hair that was matted to your face with sweat. “He fuck you good, sweets?”

You laugh, nodding and letting out a tired ‘mhm’. Nam-Gyu lets out a sigh that shifts into a soft chuckle, hand coming to slap your ass in praise for your work. “Fuck….” He breathes, “thank you, pretty.” His dark eyes turn back down towards you. Nam-gyu’s hands run up your ass to find purchase on the small of your back, pulling you forward.

You squeal and place your hands on his chest, trying to fight his pull of you into him. “I’m all covered in cum! C’mon let me shower first and then we can cuddle.” You protest. It’s for nothing, Nam-Gyu is much stronger than you and pulls you down into his chest with ease. You can feel the mess of Thanos’ cum on your chest smear between you and Nam-gyu as you’re laid on top of him, back arched as you lay down fully.

“When has being covered in cum ever been a problem?” Nam-gyu says placing soft kisses on your shoulder. “Plus, it only makes sense to shower after we’re done.” Thanos says, shifting on the bed- you can feel him but can’t see him.

“H-huh?” You ask confused, you guys definitely all just finished. Jokes on you for ever thinking they be satiated with just one release.

Large tattooed hands palm at the globes of your ass, pushing up and spreading you wide for him, “S-Subong!” The surprise movement taking you so off guard that his real name falls from your lips. You can hear a chuckle reverberate from behind you.

Thanos watches as Nam-gyu’s release drips out of you into thick, creamy white globs. He can’t help himself, he’s burring his face into your cunt, tongue diving deep and lapping at Nam-gyu’s cum that coats your insides. You jolt against Nam-Gyu who only chuckles in your ear and tightens his grip, holding you still for the purple haired man.

“Oh we’re far from done. ‘Gyu here was fuckin’ selfish and I’m getting my fill of you.”

Hi loves 🥺🥺🥺 missed you guys!!! I hope you guys enjoy this again I am SOOOOOO sorry for being inactive. I’m still writing for squid games and working (very slowly) through requests.

Thank you guys for your continued support even with my inactivity. It literally means the world and is the reason I have the willpower to comeback and write!!! Love yall !! - <3 kiwi

[bebx]

Saw someone say Jun-ho might need another kidney transplant one day because the average lifespan of a transplanted kidney from a living donor is 15-20 years.

I have Some Thoughts / Fic Ideas about this (and of course, it’s Hwang Bros angst);

As the Front Man, In-ho has his men keep tabs on Jun-ho’s medical records in secret; this way, he learns Jun-ho’s health isn’t looking so promising and he might need another transplant soon. Finding a donor is hard (In-ho learned this from firsthand experience), even deceased donors, and with such a long waiting list, things aren’t looking good for Jun-ho.

In-ho is determined he will do something about this. He’s already failed his wife and their child. And he’s failed Jun-ho before, on that cliff. He will not fail Jun-ho again.

Jun-ho needs his one, remaining kidney. After all, a living donor is better for Jun-ho than a deceased one. And In-ho will do this for Jun-ho. It may not be a redemption, In-ho knows he can’t be redeemed or saved. And he knows Jun-ho will probably still hate him. But he will do this — he will sacrifice himself for his baby brother.

Fast forward, In-ho’s dying in Jun-ho’s arms. There he tells Jun-ho to take his remaining kidney. Only that Jun-ho refuses. And Jun-ho begs In-ho to stay, hang in there until help comes. Both of them are fucking stubborn. In-ho keeps “trying to die” and Jun-ho keeps giving him chest compressions, keeps bringing him back.

Until Jun-ho can’t take his brother’s stubbornness and determination to sacrifice himself for him anymore so, in the heat of the moment, he blurts out, “You think I want your kidney? After everything you’ve done, you think I still want a part of you inside me?”

And that — that stills In-ho completely. Like In-ho just goes into shock, and it’s not even due to blood loss. What Jun-ho says isn’t true, Jun-ho doesn’t actually mean that; he just has to say anything to make In-ho stop trying to die on him / for him. But In-ho believes him.

Of course, it’s understandable that Jun-ho is so disgusted by him that he doesn’t want anything from In-ho.

In-ho, while shocked and pained by Jun-ho’s words, understands. He can’t even blame Jun-ho. His only fear is that Jun-ho might die without a kidney. His kidney.

In-ho blames himself.

If he hasn’t done all these terrible things, if he never becomes the Front Man, Jun-ho would have accepted his kidney and he would have lived.

In-ho, still in Jun-ho’s arms, closes his eyes thinking he’s failing his brother again and that his brother’s disgusted by him.

Footsteps are getting closer, Gi-hun and Gi-hun’s team are coming for their rescue. Jun-ho keeps crying and calling In-ho’s name, hugging In-ho tightly in his arms, but In-ho won’t respond or open his eyes.

Should I write a fic about this? 😭

[fernslivers]

Fluffy Skincare HCs with Modern!Mizu

A teeeeeny tiny little one for this next pt, But I needed some Mizu fluff in my life 😭

Hope you enjoy!

~~

Mizu definitely uses that 50-in-1 shampoo/bodywash/conditioner/toothpaste/paint stripper/firestarter/cooking oil combo stuff

She might also possibly be one of those girls that uses Mane ‘n’ Tail

She's fastidious about showers/hygiene, she's just not very fussy

Has had the same towels for YEARS, they are worn down almost transparent

Queen of “it still works fine” when it comes to everything she owns.

She used to cut her own bangs as a teen, but accidentally cut it really badly one time and has since just let it grow, only occasionally hacking off the split ends

She uses regular scissors for this, I'm sorry to say

She would rather chew her own leg off than sit in a salon and make small talk

She washes her face every day to make sure there's no blood evidence

Accidentally ends up with perfect skin

She really could not care less, barely notices

But it is kind of nice when you praise it

she will let you put face masks/other spa-day things on her, but she will sulk like crazy about it

Glaring at you like a cat getting a bath the entire time, but…

She secretly loves it

Loves how excited you get to show her the stuff you're going to be using

Loves the chatter about how it works for your skin

Loves staring into your eyes while you apply it, how you go very quiet while you're concentrating

Loves the gentle, careful way you touch her face as you apply it

Nobody has ever really touched her that way before, like she deserves a caress

Loves the way you fidget with your own mask, constantly touching to see if it dried yet, or peeking in the mirror–it's so cute, you're so eager

Loves that you just gasp and pat her skin with that starry-eyed amazement, every time

“It looks so good, you're just glowing!”

She thinks she looks the same, just scrubbed a bit pink and shiny

She looks really hard in the mirror, though, wishing she could see what you're seeing when you look at her

Loves it that you always stress about her hair getting in it, so you make her sit in front of you while you braid it

So she gets to lean back, bracketed between your thighs, your fingernails lightly raking over her scalp

Tingles running up her spine, absolutely losing track of whatever it is you're watching

Never takes the braid out until it's falling out or she has to shower

She'll tell you she hadn't thought about it, but actually, every time one of the strands tugs in her hair as she moves, she gets the shivers thinking if your hands on her again

She never got to do that kind of "girly" stuff growing up and now she feels a bit silly about it, but with you, it feels kind of healing

She'll never admit to it, but she's occasionally started to Pavlov-style buy you expensive little skincare gifts when she's having a bad time, because she knows you'll insist on a Spa Night to try it out, and she doesn't know how to just ask for one

You're quickly amassing quite the collection

BONUS:

Taigen uses whatever the influencers are hawking, and always, always picks the one that’s revealed to cause hair loss six months later

Mizu WILL NOT show mercy about this

Akemi actually buys the good shit.

She will both cut a bitch for stealing her products..

…AND immediately decant you a sample bottle of anything you like, IF you ask

Akemi has a twelve step skincare routine for both morning and evening, and gets up early to ensure she has time

She is absolutely FURIOUS that Mizu barely does anything but still somehow has beautiful hair and skin

She would LOVE to go with you to the store to find exact products you need!

She will show up with a sheaf of notes about your particular skin type and what the reviews say is best.

Ringo just uses soap.

BAR soap. From the grocery store.

Madam Kaji is the one that put Mizu on to the Mane n Tail–it's cheap and it works. End of story.

She’ll tell you the only thing that really counts is perfume anyway.

[fordiaz]

Leaving it Behind (Eddie Diaz) ⊹ ࣪ ˖🕰️୭˚. ᵎᵎ

“But I need you to know I’m trying. I’m trying to be the man you deserve. And I want to be the person you can trust.” 🤎ྀིྀི⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪🎻

Synopsis: After a string of broken promises and a failed relationship with Marisol, Eddie Diaz returns to El Paso hoping to rebuild his life—for Christopher, and for himself. There, he meets someone new: grounded, kind, and refreshingly honest. For the first time in a long time, Eddie allows himself to believe he can start over. But when a trip back to Los Angeles threatens to unearth the parts of him he swore he’d left behind, both he and the woman he’s falling for are forced to confront a difficult question: can you truly move forward if you’re still tied to the past?

Genre: Angst

AU: None

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x Nurse!Reader

Warnings: Cheating because all men are dogs, Bobby’s funeral (😭), Eddie’s MESSY love life.

Note: I decided to be a menace for once and thought that maybe I should shake it up and try to make something super angsty, especially since I’m already at the point in S7 where Eddie is basically lying to himself and Marisol about Kim. I hope you guys like this, and no, I am not sorry for the gut wretching angst journey you are about to embark on. Happy reading!

El Paso wasn’t where Eddie thought he’d end up again. Not after everything he’d built in LA — the 118, the friendships, the years of growing into someone he could finally look at in the mirror.

But choices had consequences. And sometimes those consequences wore the face of your twelve-year-old son, standing in your parents’ kitchen with clenched fists and eyes rimmed red.

“I know what you did,” Christopher had said. No yelling. Just hurt. Quiet and heavy like a thunderstorm sitting low in the sky. “I know why Marisol left.”

Eddie hadn’t been prepared for that. He wasn’t sure what part stunned him more — the fact that Christopher found out or the way he didn’t scream. He just withdrew. Packed a backpack. Told him he was staying with Abuela and Abuelo “for a while,” because of Eddie’s actions.

Eddie stood there, breath stolen from his lungs. Watching his son walk away like he was just another mistake to sort through. And maybe, in that moment, he was.

He hadn’t meant for things to fall apart with Marisol.

She was safe. Kind. Familiar in ways that didn’t challenge him too much. And that’s exactly why it failed. Because Eddie wasn’t good at being vulnerable with people who didn’t push him past the surface. And when things started unraveling, instead of fixing it, he ran — into a mistake he couldn’t take back.

A one-time thing, a moment of weakness he couldn’t explain even if he tried. But it was enough. It always is.

Marisol had left without slamming the door. Just said she hoped he figured things out — not just for himself, but for Christopher.

But Christopher had already figured things out, and it broke Eddie more than the silence Marisol left behind.

So he packed up. Took a leave. Moved back into the house he grew up in, the one that never felt like home until it held the weight of his guilt.

There were days he didn’t speak much. His parents gave him space. Tiá Pepa dropped off food. Christopher barely made eye contact.

Eddie let it happen. Let the space fill with consequences and time and things he couldn’t erase.

He tried to be there. Tried to show up for every school event, every quiet breakfast. He even helped Christopher with a science project one weekend, and when he said “thanks,” it was the first word they exchanged in three days.

Eddie knew this wasn’t just about infidelity — it was about trust. About Christopher growing up in a world that already felt unpredictable. And now his father, the one constant in his chaos, had proven to be just as unreliable.

So Eddie started from the bottom again.

Therapy twice a week. No excuses. Long runs in the morning before sunrise. Checking in with the rest of the 118 even though it felt like salt in a wound. Keeping in touch with Buck — sporadically, because hearing his voice only reminded Eddie of what he left behind.

But what mattered most was Christopher. And Eddie was ready to earn his place again — not with empty promises, but with consistency. Time. Honesty.

He didn’t know what the future looked like.

El Paso wasn’t LA.

There was no 118, no chaos-driven adrenaline calls, no rhythm to fall into. Just this: a quiet city, a disappointed son, and a man trying to figure out what redemption could even look like.

Eddie hated the new Uber gig — if he was being honest with himself. It wasn’t the driving or the waiting or the awkward small talk; he just missed the uniform. The purpose. The feeling of waking up and knowing exactly who he was.

But ever since moving back to El Paso, he’d needed something to fill the silence. And he wasn’t above rebuilding himself from the ground up — again.

He told himself it was temporary. Just a way to stay busy when Christopher was at school. It gave him a reason to leave the house, clear his head, and, if he was lucky, make enough to buy himself some independence outside his parents’ walls.

He wasn’t expecting you, though.

You were standing on the curb outside a coffee shop, half-lost in your phone and half-wrapped in sunlight.

Your name popped up on his app — quick ride, five stars, “pick-up at 9:20.”

When you climbed into the backseat and greeted him with a smile that could cut through morning haze, something in his chest tightened. He glanced at you through the rearview mirror.

Your sunglasses slid down the bridge of your nose as you adjusted your seatbelt, and when you looked up, you caught his eyes.

“Morning,” you said, voice bright but casual, like the day hadn’t started until just now.

“Morning,” Eddie echoed, mouth dry. “You, uh, heading to work?”

“Something like that. Interview.”

“Good luck,” he said without thinking. “Though you don’t look like you’ll need it.”

You let out a surprised laugh, glancing out the window with a smile tugging at your lips. “Do you usually flirt with your passengers?”

“Only the ones who look like they could ruin my life.”

It was meant to be a joke. A throwaway line. But when your eyes met his in the mirror again, there was a pause — just long enough to feel like maybe neither of you wanted it to be just a joke.

There was something about you. Maybe it was your energy — confident, a little chaotic, alive.

It reminded him of something. Someone. Shannon, maybe. But not quite. This was different.

You talked the whole drive. About how you just moved to El Paso. About trying to find something new after too many years of making yourself small in cities that didn’t deserve you.

Eddie listened. Really listened.

And when you got to your destination, you didn’t get out right away.

“Thanks for the ride, Uber man.”

He grinned. “Eddie.”

“Eddie,” you repeated, like you were trying it out for size. “You always this charming, Eddie?”

“Only when I’m lucky.”

You smirked, thumb hovering over the door handle.

“Well. Maybe I’ll get lucky enough to ride with you again.”

He watched you go, heart doing something he hadn’t felt in a long time. It wasn’t love — not yet. But it was the start of something. He knew it in his bones.

Later that night, he kept checking the app, wondering if he’d ever see your name pop up again.

He didn’t know then that the universe — messy, loud, inconvenient — had already decided.

You weren’t just a passenger. You were going to be something else entirely.

Ever since that day, the evening felt different. Eddie’s house was quiet, the soft hum of the fridge and the faint rattle of the air conditioner the only sounds.

The dim glow of the kitchen light cast shadows on the walls, making everything feel intimate, private.

You sat at the counter, your hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee, eyes occasionally darting over to Eddie as he moved around the kitchen.

He had a way of doing everything with ease — a methodical rhythm that came with years of practice.

The familiar clink of utensils and the sizzling of something in the pan were oddly comforting. But tonight, it wasn’t just the food that had the atmosphere thick with tension.

You could feel it. There was something on Eddie’s mind. He had been quieter than usual, his smiles more forced, his movements more deliberate.

It was almost as if he was waiting for something — or someone — to make the first move.

You set your mug down, catching his eye. “You alright?”

Eddie paused mid-slice, his knife hovering over the cutting board. He glanced at you, offering a tight smile.

“Yeah, just… thinking.”

You raised an eyebrow, your curiosity piqued. You had been with Eddie for a few months now, enough time to know when something was bothering him.

“About?”

Eddie’s gaze dropped, his focus shifting to the vegetables in front of him. His voice came out low, hesitant.

“A lot of things. Mostly about… what we’re doing here.”

Your heart skipped a beat, sensing the gravity of his words. You knew Eddie was a man who carried a lot of weight on his shoulders.

You’d seen the way he carried the burden of his past, the guilt that still lingered after everything he’d been through. But this — this was something new. Something raw.

You slid off your seat and walked over to him, not saying a word, just standing beside him, close enough that he could feel the warmth of your presence.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” You whispered, voice softer than you intended.

“I’m not going anywhere, Edmundo.”

Eddie’s eyes flickered to you for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he exhaled deeply, setting the knife down with a soft clink.

He leaned against the counter, turning towards you fully. His shoulders were tense, his jaw clenched.

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face before he finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ve never really told anyone this,” he began, his eyes meeting yours, vulnerable in a way you weren’t used to seeing.

“But I guess… I guess it’s time.”

You stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue. You could feel your heart racing, your chest tightening with the weight of his words.

“You know I screwed up,” Eddie said, his voice thick with guilt.

“With Marisol… With my son. I wasn’t who I should’ve been. I wasn’t even close. I made mistakes — big ones. I hurt people. And I didn’t know how to fix it. So I ran. And that’s what I’ve always done. When things get tough, I run. I shut down, I push people away, and I pretend like it doesn’t matter.”

Eddie’s hands were trembling now, but he didn’t seem to notice. He took a step closer to you, his eyes dark with the weight of his confession.

“I don’t want to do that anymore,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I don’t want to run away from this. From you.”

Your breath caught in your throat. “Eddie…”

He held up a hand, his other hand trembling slightly as it reached out to you, brushing your arm with the gentlest of touches.

“I know it’s not going to be easy. I know I’ve got a lot of baggage. But… I want to be better. For you. For Christopher. For me.”

His words hung in the air, heavy and raw.

You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the quiet desperation to make things right, to rebuild what he had broken. And as much as you wanted to believe him, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this — this — was the moment where everything would either fall apart or finally come together.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me for everything,” he added quietly, voice trembling with the weight of his emotions.

“But I need you to know I’m trying. I’m trying to be the man you deserve. And I want to be the person you can trust.”

Your heart ached for him.

You had known there were parts of his past he wasn’t proud of, but hearing him speak so openly about it — the guilt, the shame, the fear of losing you — made it hit home in a way that words couldn’t quite capture.

Eddie had been carrying all of that for so long, and you could feel the weight of it in the room with you. You reached for his hand, gently pulling him closer.

“You don’t have to carry it alone anymore, Eddie. We’re in this together. I’m not going anywhere.”

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat as you spoke, his eyes softening, that same guarded expression starting to melt away. He let out a shaky breath and pulled you into him, his arms wrapping around you tightly.

You could feel the tension in his body, the weight of everything he had been holding back for so long.

“I don’t deserve you,” he muttered against your hair.

You shook your head, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes.

“You’re not perfect. And I’m not expecting you to be. But I’m here. And I know you’re trying. That’s enough for me.”

Eddie closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against yours, the two of you standing there in the quiet of the kitchen.

It wasn’t perfect, not by any means, but it was real. And for the first time in a long time, Eddie felt like maybe — just maybe — he was on the right path.

He let out another breath, slower this time, and opened his eyes. “I don’t know if I can ever make up for the things I’ve done,” he whispered.

“But I’ll spend the rest of my life trying.”

You smiled softly, reaching up to cup his face in your hands.

“You don’t have to make up for everything, Eddie. Just… be here. Be the man you want to be. For you. And for us.”

He leaned down, his lips brushing against your forehead in the softest of kisses.

When he pulled back, his smile was small but genuine, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Eddie truly believed that maybe — just maybe — he could be the man he always wanted to be. And you’d be there, right beside him.

“I’ll try,” he said, voice firm, yet filled with the kind of hope he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in years.

And for the first time in a while, you believed him.

Trust didn’t happen overnight.

It wasn’t born out of one heartfelt conversation or a single night of vulnerability. It had to be built — slowly, steadily, like the way Eddie once learned to rebuild his life after the army, after Shannon, after every time he’d broken something he wanted to keep.

He told you he was trying. And he meant it.

The next morning, he made breakfast before you could even blink — not to impress you, not as some apology in the form of eggs and toast, but just to show he was there.

He passed you your coffee with the exact amount of creamer you liked, no questions asked, as if memorizing the tiniest details about you was his new favorite thing to do.

He didn’t push you to talk about what the night before had meant. He just… let you be. Gave you space but stayed close enough that you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

And then came the small promises — the ones he didn’t even say out loud.

He texted when he got home from shifts, just to let you know he was safe. He picked up extra groceries when he knew you’d had a rough day, even if it was something silly like your favorite granola or that weird candy you mentioned in passing.

He showed up — emotionally, mentally, and physically — every single time you needed him.

It wasn’t flashy. It was simple, honest effort.

Eddie didn’t date with ease. He’d never been great at navigating love without fear. But something about you made him want to get it right this time.

You reminded him of a version of himself he forgot existed — the guy who used to laugh more, talk about books and movies, draw comics with Christopher on the weekends.

And you saw all of it. Not just the tough guy, or the single dad, or the soldier. You saw him.

But trust wasn’t just about what Eddie did — it was about what you let him do.

There were days you pulled away slightly, still uncertain if this was too good to be real. If he’d wake up one morning and decide it was all too much. But Eddie never flinched. Never took your distance personally.

He was patient, even on the days you weren’t sure how to explain the knot of fear in your chest.

One night, a few weeks later, you had a bad day at work.

You didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to explain why you felt raw. You just showed up at his place unannounced and sat on the couch like a ghost of yourself.

Eddie didn’t ask questions. He just sat beside you in silence and let your hand find his. Thumb brushing against yours in slow, comforting circles.

“I’m here,” he whispered, voice so low you could barely hear it. “You don’t have to say anything.”

It was the first time you cried in front of him.

Not the sobbing kind — just quiet, exhausted tears from the kind of safety that surprises you. The kind of safety you forgot was possible.

He held you for hours. Not once did he pull away.

You started to realize that Eddie wasn’t just telling you he wanted to be better — he was showing it.

In the consistency. In the vulnerability. In the way he never once looked at you like you were too much to hold.

You weren’t used to that.

And maybe that’s why it mattered more.

It wasn’t a perfect relationship. There were still shadows. Still memories of Marisol, Ana, Kim, and Shannon, and mistakes that neither of you could completely erase.

But Eddie was doing the work. He went to therapy regularly again. He talked to Christopher openly about feelings, about what he learned from messing up — not just as a partner, but as a father.

You watched him slowly rebuild himself, not for you, but with you.

One night, lying on his couch with your head on his chest and his fingers gently tracing lines along your back, he whispered it again — not the words “I love you” just yet, but something that felt just as sacred:

“I’m not gonna mess this up. Not with you.”

You looked up at him, smiling softly, the kind of smile that comes when something broken finally feels like it’s healing.

“I know,” you said softly, knowing this wasn’t going to be easy, but slow movement is better than no movement.

“Sometimes grief doesn’t just reveal what you’ve lost—it shows you what you never really had.”

The city felt different the moment the plane touched down in Los Angeles.

It wasn’t the skyline or the dry California air. It wasn’t even the taxi ride that weaved past familiar streets Eddie used to talk about with fondness. It was the weight.

The weight of loss.

You’d never met Bobby Nash, but from the way Eddie had described him—father figure, moral compass, rock of the 118—you understood what this funeral meant.

It wasn’t just laying someone to rest. It was saying goodbye to the man who raised a firehouse full of broken people and gave them a home.

Eddie had been quiet since the news. Not withdrawn, exactly—just… cloaked. Like he was protecting something inside himself, and he didn’t want you to see it.

When he asked you to come with him, you didn’t hesitate.

You packed your bag, held his hand on the flight, and offered silent comfort as his eyes kept flicking out the window. You knew this wasn’t just about grief—it was about returning to a version of himself he thought he’d left behind.

The 118 turned out in full, along with more firefighters than you could count. There was something unspeakably reverent about the ceremony: the folding of the flag, the low hum of bagpipes, the weight of silence as the bell rang in Bobby’s honor.

You watched as Eddie stood beside Chimney and Buck—two men who seemed to carry just as much pain in their eyes. Hen offered you a soft, acknowledging nod from across the pew.

When your gaze met Buck’s for the first time, there was something unreadable in his expression. A flicker of curiosity, maybe. Or caution.

You didn’t blame him. You were new. And you were standing beside Eddie Diaz at Bobby Nash’s funeral. That meant something.

After the service, the wake was held at Athena’s—warm food, quiet chatter, a house that suddenly felt too big without Bobby in it.

You found yourself in the kitchen helping restock drinks when Buck appeared beside you, gently brushing past to grab a beer.

“You’re Eddie’s new girlfriend, right?” he asked, voice quiet, but not unfriendly.

You smiled, a bit caught off guard. “Yeah. I’m Y/N.”

“Buck.” He shook your hand like someone who knew his own grip scared people and tried to dial it back.

“I know. Eddie’s talked about you guys a lot.”

Buck gave a half-smile. “Good things, I hope?”

You laughed softly. “Only the best.”

There was a beat of quiet, a pause that didn’t feel awkward, just thoughtful.

“I’m glad he has someone out there,” Buck said, not meeting your eyes. “It’s hard to rebuild… when part of you never really left.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. But it stayed with you.

The next few days in LA were mostly a blur—visiting the firehouse, seeing where Eddie used to sleep, where he used to eat, where Christopher used to run up to the bunks and draw little doodles on the whiteboards.

You saw how tightly the team clung to each other.

And how tightly Buck clung to Eddie.

There were moments that made you pause.

Like when Buck asked Eddie if he was going to swing by Chimney’s with the rest of them, and Eddie glanced at you and hesitated—just for a second—before replying,

“Maybe. We’ll see how she’s feeling.”

It was small. Barely a pause. But it lingered.

Later that night, you found yourself sitting outside with Hen. She was warm and grounded, easy to talk to, and you’d mentioned how surreal it was to step into a world you’d only heard about through Eddie’s stories.

“He’s been through hell,” Hen said, looking into her wine glass. “We all have. But Eddie? He tends to bottle things up until the pressure’s too much.”

You nodded slowly. “I’ve noticed.”

“He’s not a bad man,” she added quickly. “Just… still learning how to be the man he wants to be. Even now.”

The words weren’t harsh. They weren’t even meant to be cautionary.

But they settled into your chest like an echo.

The next day, the return to Texas was quiet.

After the heaviness of LA, the stillness felt jarring. No radios blaring at the station. No long waves goodbye from a firehouse family. Just Eddie, driving you home, one hand on the wheel, the other clenched in a fist on his thigh.

You noticed it.

How he didn’t reach for your hand. How he didn’t turn on the music like he usually did. How he dropped you off at your apartment instead of asking if you wanted to stay at his.

“Just tired,” he said, brushing a kiss to your forehead. You nodded.

But something in you already knew.

After going back to work since the visit to LA, you didn’t expect to see him that night after your shift.

You were walking back from the clinic after picking up extra hours. You weren’t far from the bar Eddie sometimes mentioned when he caught up with old friends. And you wouldn’t have looked — wouldn’t have even noticed — if the laughter hadn’t been his.

The unmistakable sound of Eddie Diaz trying to charm his way out of guilt.

And then you saw him.

Sitting across from a woman with long, painted nails and a knowing smile. She touched his arm. He didn’t pull away. He leaned in.

Too close.

And the worst part?

The relief in his face.

Like he wasn’t trying to hide.

Like this wasn’t a mistake — it was intentional.

You heard his key in the lock before the door creaked open. He didn’t expect to see you there — not seated on the couch in the dark, not awake. His steps halted.

“Y/N,” he breathed.

You turned slowly. No panic. No rage. Just the kind of silence that scares a man more than shouting ever could.

“Where were you?” you asked, your voice calm but cold. A glacier waiting to crack.

“I… I grabbed a drink with someone,” he said, avoiding your eyes. “One of my buddies from highschool.”

“No, Eddie. You were at the bar with another woman. I saw you.”

His breath caught. The truth stunned him like a slap, but he didn’t deny it. Didn’t even try.

So you nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

You stood then — and your presence filled the room. Strong. Rooted. Devastated, yes, but far from broken.

“Why?” you asked. “Why bring me into this if you knew you hadn’t changed?”

“I have changed,” he said, standing too now, desperation creeping into his voice.

“I didn’t plan for that to happen. It just… being in LA again… it reminded me of who I was. Before all of this. Before I tried to be someone I’m not.”

“Someone you’re not?” you repeated. “You mean loyal? Committed? Honest?”

“That’s not fair—”

“No,” you cut him off, eyes sharp with clarity.

“You know what’s not fair? Telling me I was safe to trust you. That you were working on yourself. That this—us—was something you wanted to build. That’s what’s not fair.”

Eddie stepped forward, but you didn’t budge.

“I wasn’t lying, Y/N. I wanted it. I still do.”

“No, Eddie. You wanted the illusion of stability. You wanted to believe you could do this… but the moment it felt too real, the moment you were surrounded by your past, you unraveled.”

His eyes shimmered, glassy with shame.

“I felt free there. Like the version of me before the guilt, the expectations… like I could breathe.”

You let the words sit in the air for a moment before speaking.

“Then you should’ve stayed there.”

That made him flinch.

“Because I won’t be your halfway house,” you said, voice rising just enough to cut through the air between you.

“I won’t be the woman who holds your hand while you figure out how to not betray her. I’m not a stop along the way to you finding yourself. I know who I am.”

Your chest ached, but you didn’t let it crack. Not in front of him.

“I’m not perfect, Eddie. But I’m worthy. Worthy of someone who means it when they say they’ve changed. Someone who doesn’t mistake old ghosts for new beginnings.”

He tried again. “I swear, I didn’t plan it. I just got lost for a second.”

“A second,” you whispered, more to yourself than him. “That’s all it took to throw away everything we were building.”

He stayed silent.

“I loved you,” you admitted. “And I let myself believe you were different. That you were done running. But I see it now — you’re not done. You’re just getting better at disguising it.”

The room was heavy now. Quiet and full of things unsaid.

“And if this is what freedom looks like to you — lying, sneaking around, hurting someone who only ever showed up for you — then I hope you enjoy it,” you said, voice steady and laced with steel.

“Because you’ll be enjoying it without me.”

You walked past him, grabbing your keys from the counter.

“I deserve something whole. Something real. Not this watered-down version of love you’re still trying to figure out how to give.”

Eddie reached out, but you shook your head.

“Don’t. I won’t let you make me doubt my worth again. Once a cheater, Eddie… no matter how much you try to bury it, that part of you always finds a way out.”

And with that, you left.

Not in pieces — but finally, for once, intact.

It was the second night you hadn’t slept. The silence in the apartment was heavy, the shadows deeper somehow—almost like they knew. Like even the walls were mourning something that wasn’t dead, just lost beyond return.

Your phone lay face-down on the couch cushion beside you. You stared up at the ceiling, trying to blink away the sting behind your eyes.

The ache wasn’t loud. It didn’t shout. It whispered. It echoed. It lived in the empty coffee cup still sitting on the kitchen counter.

In the jacket Eddie left hanging by the door. In the memory of his hands on your waist as he kissed your shoulder and said, “We’re building something real here, you and me.”

But he hadn’t built anything. He had wandered.

And he had left you behind in the wreckage.

You didn’t even know who to call. You were new here. You had no family in El Paso, no lifelong friends. It had always been Eddie and Christopher—your whole small, carefully built world. And now it was just… you.

You thought about calling Hen, maybe Chimney. Ravi, even. But there was only one name that kept circling back to your heart like a warm current in freezing water.

Buck.

You hadn’t spoken much since Bobby’s funeral. He had been kind, a little guarded, but incredibly present.

When you met, it felt like an echo of something familiar. Like someone who carried similar scars, even if they weren’t visible at first glance.

You swiped up your phone and stared at his name. You didn’t want to be a burden. But you also didn’t want to feel like you were vanishing.

So you hit the button.

It rang twice before his face filled the screen, tousled curls and all. His brows furrowed in concern the second he saw your face.

“Y/N?”

Your voice cracked. “Hi.”

His smile faded. “Hey. What’s wrong? You okay?”

You swallowed. “I didn’t know who else to call.”

He nodded, gentle and calm. “You don’t have to explain. I’m here.”

That was all it took.

The tears came fast and unfiltered. Ugly, broken sobs that clawed their way out from the hollow in your chest.

You held your phone like it was the only thing tethering you to solid ground, and Buck didn’t flinch. Didn’t rush you. He just stayed on the other side of the screen, letting you cry.

“Eddie—he said he changed,” you finally managed, voice hoarse. “And I believed him, Buck. God, I believed him.”

He sighed softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“I thought he was it. He made me feel safe, like I could finally let go of everything I was trying to prove. And then I saw him with someone else, and it just… shattered everything. It felt like I was the problem again.”

“You’re not,” Buck said firmly, eyes steady. “You’re not the problem, Y/N. Don’t let what he did trick you into thinking you’re less.”

You wiped your cheeks, your hands trembling.

“It’s just… When I left everything behind and met him, I built a life here thinking it would grow roots and let him in. And now I don’t even know where home is.”

Buck leaned forward on his end, his voice low and sincere.

“Home isn’t always a place. Sometimes it’s just people who see you. Who stay. Who don’t make you question your worth every time things get hard.”

You blinked at him. “You really believe that?”

He nodded. “I’ve lived that. My parents didn’t really see me. Not the way I needed. It took years to realize that family isn’t blood—it’s the people who choose you. Over and over.”

You were quiet for a long moment, breathing in the calm he offered.

“I’m so tired, Buck. Tired of trying to be enough. Tired of picking up pieces I didn’t break.”

He smiled gently. “Then don’t pick them up alone. Let someone help. Let me help.”

You exhaled, shaky but real. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because I know what it’s like to lose your sense of self in someone else,” he said. “And because you don’t deserve to go through this alone.”

Something in your chest unclenched at that.

He didn’t pity you. He understood you.

So you kept talking. For hours.

About Eddie, about your family, about the parts of yourself you’d fought to protect. And Buck listened—really listened—until the heaviness didn’t feel so suffocating.

By the time you ended the call, the sky outside had shifted to early morning gray. You still hurt. You still felt hollow in places.

But for the first time in days, you felt seen.

And safe.

© fordiaz 25’ -. no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any manner without the permission from the publisher.

[chock-and-bates]

Hi i'm here once again asking for fic recs! What's your fave charles-centric fic rec? Any pairing will do 😊😸

and I am here to deliver 😘 so sorry for making you wait, love, but this prompt ❤️ as a chirlie, there's nothing i love more than a good charles centric fic. here are some of my favorites.

disclaimer that these are all lestappen. while i occasionally read other charles pairings, no one has my heart like this ship, so I will always be biased towards them.

@breathofnyx is my holy grail for charles centric stories. everything they write is incredible but particularly these two:

lemniscate: college au. charles and max are sort-of-friends who hook up and charles deals with the aftermath. (something about this fic is so striking to me, i think about it all the time. one of my all time favorites.)

half of heaven: model au. supermodel charles meets f1 driver max. (this fic, this fic ❤️ gorgeous, heartbreaking, captivating.)

another author who has amazing charles fics is sixteenthirtythree. (i miss them so much 😭 desperately hoping they write f1 again some day.) here are two of my absolute favorites:

blood soaked gown: omegaverse. max decides to retire and offers charles his red bull seat. charles considers his future, max, and the championship battle. (one of the greatest charles fics ever, i loved the characterization so so much.)

the clauses of commitment: amnesia au. charles wakes up and the last thing he remembers is austria 2019. (just thinking about this fic is sending me into a tizzy, it's so beautiful and sweet.)

Some others...

l'amour et la violence: mafia au. charles is out for revenge and joins max's organization in order to achieve it. (i was late to the party on this one but it. is. incredible. read the entire thing in one sitting i was so utterly captivated. the charles is so layered and complex- you must read this.)

straight lines (that unwind you): college au. charles and max enter into a friends with benefits situation and charles deals with it. (the writing is so beautiful, and charles thought process is so compelling.)

friends: charles thinks about how him and max aren't friends. (short and sweet. sentimental fav, one of the first Charles fics I ever read.)

all of these are so good, and I have even more in mind but I don't want this to be too long 😅 hope you find something you like!

[freakaz0-id]

for all the people out there that are upset about Ellie's change from "well you're a burden now aren't you" to "I'm gonna be a dad!", I think this will make the entire plot of the show wayyyy more emotional. Ellie being genuinely excited and happy for dina, ready to protect her at all costs, and not putting any sort of blame or holding any grudges against her because of her pregnancy is going to make the dellie breakup even WORSE.

I honestly think ellie and dina's connection has a lot more layers in the show than in the game so far (and as of right now). I think the way they're handling their relationship is so fucking perfect, and I know there's a handful of folks who disagree and want the show to be exactly like the game, but this is a really beautiful portrayal of love, and queer/sapphic love at that! we just don't have a lot of genuinely good sapphic media out there (that hasn't been cancelled...).

plus, CAN WE JUST LET THE LESBIANS BE HAPPY!!!! like everything is going wrong and will go even more wrong in future episodes, so just let them be happy for this tiny sliver of time my goodness!! 😭

[lsunstreakerl]

Okay, I know I’m SUPERRRR late to fmf, but that means I have a LOT of thoughts!!!!

Lowkey insane that Jos thought it would be a good idea to not tell Max his role, like surely he could have done something. Even if it was just putting the note in his chest or smth

Rico instantly staking his claim on Max w that GORGEOUS cloak is so funny to me, he hasn’t even met the guy and he wants to show him off to everyone.

Rico instantly pulling Max up when he tried to bow down made me FERAL, like I’m a lesbian but I think I want some of him too. It was just way too cute, how dare he

I want to be upset at Max for not realising, especially after seeing his MASSIVE fucking room, but like. Who assumes they’re being married off.

Again with Rico and the damn clothes, instantly throwing his cloak over Max’s shoulders as he watched his princess get accustomed with the guards, too terribly furiously cute. Even better when Rico is probably used to much warmer weather than Max so Rico has just made himself cold for no other reason than to make Max even warmer

I know that ‘kill him’ had Rico going insane. Probably used it as motivation to get everything done and go home.

Max is so fucking insane, it is so unregular to go up to what he thinks is basically his boss, with no other attachments and caress his chest, I don’t care that it saved his life, nobody else knew that then!!!

Max unfortunately girlbossed way too close to the sun. Good on him for killing Sadik, but RIP Queen get better soon.

Rico freaking the fuck out in his POV is so funny to me. He’s worried about Max, mean while Max is tearing his #1 enemy to shreds, confusing everyone and THEN passing out #queenbehaviour

GP to the rescue once again, thank god SOMEONE got it sorted out (I’m also like thrilled you didn’t decide to make the reveal some massive thing that would have given me insane amounts of second hand embarrassment, because I can deal with a lot, but not that.)

Rico doing his bandages 💞💞💞💞😭😭😭😭

Gently moving him onto his chest when Max falls asleep because he’s being too tender, and you’re telling me these two will be fucking nasty soon????? The duality of man.

Do you… uhm… do you have any measurements on that thing… like… you know… just how big.

Omg literally stop it, one of those arms are injured, which means he’s either letting Max sleep on his injured bicep (btw, very hot) or he’s brandishing out a sword with his hurt arm to protect Max AND subconsciously covering him, I literally love him so much he’s such a cutie.

Ofc Max takes absolutely no convincing to go back to sleep, esp when he can be curled into a man twice his size.

I LOVED IT 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

I LOVE IT SO MUCH I LOVE YOUR WRITING ITS SO GOOD IT LITERALLY DRAWS ME IN SO MUCH ITS SO CRAZY!!!!!!

Also!!! I am VERY on board with Pussy potion!!!!! (And maybe it would be a good excuse for Rico to pull out some of his very sexy hand tj hand combat moves after Max drugged/spiked/potioned/pussied/mutated/gene therapised??)

Love you so much queen, get through your finals!!!💞💞💞💞💞💞

you've unlocked a massive yap from me I am so sorry!!

it's not like they call him "Verstappen the Foward Thinking" or anything 😭 he just didn't want to have to say it to max. and then he actually lost the letter, so.

rico is SUCH a wife guy and fmf really just takes that to the extreme. like yeah he's gonna have it commissioned for his beautiful wife who totally knows what's going on- why wouldn't he??

he wants them to be partners!! it's a really big theme that I showcase in his POV's. him and max being as close to equals as possible is incredibly important to him- he doesn't want another yes man, he wants someone he can trust to lead with him. (and in case of emergency, like in the fic, without him as well.) max being so proficient in combat helps on that front as well- they really are evenly matched.

EXACTLY LIKE HOW WAS HE GONNA THINK MARRIAGE 😭 that is not where most people's minds go. especially when you think about the fact that the north is somewhat renowned for the combat skills of their soldiers, and it's well known that the kingdom was having struggles in the east. it really does sort of make sense from his prospective to assume he's being called up to train soldiers.

yes, you are correct that rico made himself colder and max warmer for no reason other than to send the castle gossip mill into an absolute tizzy. (he forgot to consider max is used to much colder temps- just saw that his new consort was outside without any protection and wanted to fix it.)

"kill him" played in his brain on loop. even though it was max who ended up handling things, it's still incredibly hot to rico, who's used to hearing all sorts of variations on "good luck" and "stay safe". max doesn't say any of those things, because up north it's not part of their cultural norms- wishing good luck is seen as telling someone their raw skill isn't enough, and asking someone to stay safe is stupid, because everyone gets hurt eventually. in max's eyes, the most supportive thing he can do is reinforce rico's purpose for leaving- the "kill him" is meant both literally and in the sense of "succeed at what you're leaving to do, and then come home."

max very much hesitated before he gave rico the hide!! not just because it reveals a vulnerability that max himself has exploited before, but also because it's an incredibly difficult material to get ahold of. but he knows saddik is going to be a formidable enemy, and if max and his people have noticed the flaw in the kingdom armor, there's a chance rico's real enemies have as well. max may not be aware of his position as consort at that time, but he's realizing that rico is a good leader, and max doesn't want to be stuck in the castle during a power vacuum if rico were to die. (also, he gets to feel up the hot king. fun bonus!) little does he know he's actually allowed to do that all the time

getting stabbed twice is honestly a pretty good outcome for going up against saddik. most people end up dead! max is much quicker than saddik is expecting- the style of fighting his soldiers use is particularly vulnerable to the speedy style that northern soldiers are trained in, which is why his men fall so easily to max's scouts (seen in the first rico POV). also, max is insane enough to get stabbed and keep going.

max doing all that and then still being confused despite having all the context clues on a silver platter is incredibly on brand. like babes, the king's archenemy just called you a consort and a bed warming whore, what kind of combat advisor position could you possibly think that is 😭

I would never have written it as a grand reveal or some huge thing to a bunch of people! the secondhand embarrassment would've gotten to me as well lmao. besides, it's much more on brand for max to realize quietly and then try and adapt- the same way he didn't know what his position was (and instead tried to figure it without asking). also, it's embarrassing. he's not bringing it up unless he absolutely has to. (or when gp is teasing him)

redoing his bandages and letting max sleep on him <333 love them. also was super fun to write from both POV's because max is like "oh god I'm having horny thoughts about the king- and I'm literally here so we can fuck-" and rico is like "wifey hurt :( but wow the body is incredible." and then both of them assuming the other is being Normal and Not Horny about it. (they totally could've fucked)

big.

yes!! max is sleeping on his uninjured arm, so he's holding the (heavy) sword with his (injured) arm, while also hiding max's wound, while also not really being awake yet. the husband of all time <3

max essentially being like "fuck it, since apparently we're getting married- why the hell not." and going back to bed is incredibly real of him. but with a pillow as cozy as rico, you can't really blame him.

highly illegal pussy potion does come with some varied side effects as the recipients body literally reconfigures itself, so there's. a minor freakout there. rico goes a little crazy. (mostly because it looks like a poisoning at first.)

thank you for reading and loving it so much and leaving such a wonderful comment!!! it's always so much fun for me to see all the little details and chunks that you all like the most <3 I'm having lots of fun with fmf and hopefully getting some new riders on the ver2 train- and they deserved a dedicated chapter fic.

finals continue to final. when does it end.