#everyone: i'm never gonna emotionally recover from this

[darth-sonny]

O-M-G, like, I love your story, but it's so sad, and Kirby is so cute, but everything about them depresses me, and your art is so cool, bug O-M-G, THE SADNESS, THE DESPAIR, THE PAIN!!!!

they canNOT catch a break

[its-me-hyunjin]

NO ONE TALK TO ME, CHAPTER 15 OF SLWY IS FINALLY HERE

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 15

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.

there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you. hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.

genre:friends to lovers, so much angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden romance, slowburn (!!!) soulmate au (kind of), star-crossed lovers

warnings:cursing, mature content, fancy drinking, mutual pining, sexual tension, so much angst, kissing, making out, dirty talk, fingering, grinding, dry humping, dom!hyunjin, jealousy, more angst

word count:35K (ik the wc makes it feel v long but it’s really not that much haha)

a/n: im so excited to be coming back with this huge of a chapter for you guys. so much goes down and im insanely excited to share this next phase of my story with you. its v long so pls get comfortable with a blanket and snacks. I would recommend rereading the last chapter, if you can! thank you for still being here.

i recommend that you can listen to my star lost playlist here!

important: all works are fiction, and do not in any way represent the real personalities or real people, they exist only as faceclaims, and are fictional characters.

masterlist

He had fucked up. Even in the dimly lit drive-in theatre, the guilt on his face was evident. Hyunjin had never looked this devastated.

“I need to talk to you” 

That’s what he had said. The gnawing feeling in your gut got worse. Those words together, in that order, was never a good sign. You knew as much, and you knew whatever he had to tell you was going to be something bad.

“Why did you leave in the middle of the film?” You asked, gaze darting between him and your friends.

Yuqi was staring wide-eyed, watching this unfold, soda cup clutched in her hands, and Felix…he looked beyond irritated.

The movie could still be heard all the way over here. You weren’t too far from the projection screen, and the speakers were right next to you. It was a horrible place to be having this conversation, but you couldn’t wait. 

What was he holding back?

You’d always felt the safest around Hyunjin, but every breath between you right now was uncertain. He was fidgeting, sliding the silver ring off and on his finger.

“I was on my way back to you when—” Hyunjin paused, and the veins in his neck were prominent as he strained to be heard over the movie, “—when Felix found me. He wanted to talk”

Keep reading

[psychrodraws]

I need everyone to look at this commission I got from SweetMikan3 over on VGen. I'm never gonna emotionally recover from how good this is. I normally wouldn't repost comms, but the artist doesn't have a tumblr or traditionally post their own comm'd work, so I wanted to give it some eyes here 💚💚💚 Oh my god PLEASE go commission them with the link provided, they're amazing to work with and their prices are criminally low. Give them a big fat tip (called a Boost on VGen) when they're done or I'm gonna blow you up with my mind 😤😤😤

artwork by @/SweetMikan3 on Twitter, reposted with permission

[fairly-linked]

Presence (Twilight x GN!Reader) 🖤✨

A/N: Two fics in the same 24 hours??? Am I okay??? Yes, I'm on vacation. I have energy to write lmao. Eat it up while you can folks. Enjoy! 💖💖💖💖💖

TW: Mentions of depression, self-isolation and general stress on the reader.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Twilight noticed you'd been a little... off lately. A lot of things had happened over the last few days, and everyone was a bit on edge; the whole team being ambushed around almost every turn, you having trouble keeping up due to some kind of medical issue he wasn't understanding (which terrified him, of course, though he'd struggle to hide it for fear of overwhelming you), and not to mention Wars' and Legend's near constant bickering over trivial matters due to all the stress... But your breaking point seemed to come when the postman delivered a letter to you.

He'd watched as you read it, everyone else watching on as well as it seemed like the emotion drained from your very being. It worried him beyond words. His heart shattered at the sight of you so visibly... emotionally numb. And he'd asked if you were alright, but he knew he could only do so much-- he'd never want to push you.

So instead, he did what he thought was best: he managed to convince the Old Man to let the chain stay at an inn for a few days to give you time to recover from... whatever was going on with you. Twilight soon learned that even though Time didn't show it, he also seemed troubled by your sudden change in demeanor.

He was very thankful now more than ever that the Old Man was a good one at heart. If he hadn't been, the Rancher knew he wouldn't have let you rest.

So here they sit, him and the Old Man, together with the rest of the chain in the inn's dining hall for dinner. The only empty chair was yours, he noted with growing anxiety. You hadn't shown your face all day today...

"...Are they still asleep?" Time questioned him softly. "...This isn't good. They shouldn't be alone when they're feeling like this... It only serves to make things worse in the long run," he sighs.

Twilight nodded. He knew you had a habit of isolating when you weren't feeling your usual self, but... skipping all three meals today was unacceptable. He stood from the table suddenly, without finishing his own food; he'd been so worried about you he couldn't eat much of it anyway.

"I'm... I'm gonna go check on 'em," he states firmly, unable to mask the concern in his voice.

To his surprise, the Old Man didn't try to stop him; Time simply nodded, speaking softly.

"...Why don't you fix them a plate and bring it up? I know they may not want to eat, but even something is better than nothing. They need their strength..."

The Rancher nodded again, fixing you a a decent portion and bringing it up to your room.

When he reached your room, the one that the Old Man was kind enough to let you share with Sky (someone he knew wouldn't bother you)... He paused, his ears twitching slightly at the sound of soft sobs coming from the other side. His heart broke, and a lump formed in his throat; he was so worried about you. He hated to see you in such a state... Nevertheless, he knocked softly.

"(Y/n)? ...Can I come in...?"

The crying hushed immediately, and your shaky voice reached his ears. "W-What do you want...?"

He paused, trying to think of the best way to respond.

"...(Y/n), we're worried about you, darlin'. Can I come in please?"

...Silence. He sighed; he knew he shouldn't barge in on you, but--

"...Fine..."

He let out a sigh of relief at your answer. He opened the door softly, carrying the plate of still-warm food; the room was dark. No lights, the curtains were drawn... Oh, you poor thing, he thinks to himself.

"...I'm turnin' on the light, sweet thing," he says, flicking on the light and watching as your figure huddles deeper under the blanket. He sighs, setting the food down on the nightstand and taking a seat beside you on the bed.

"...Can I ask what's been goin' on with you lately? You've been so sad, and it worries me to see you like this, hun. It worries all of us..." he says softly, placing his hand on your hair and rubbing the top of your head softly with his thumb.

He could've sworn your voice broke a little as you speak again in a softer tone than ever. "...I don't wanna talk about it..."

He sighs, but nods. "...That's okay, darlin'. I won't push you to talk if you don't want to..." he mumbles, still stroking your hair.

"...Can I at least stay here for a bit? I haven't seen your pretty face all day, sweetums."

He hears you sniffle, but he can see you nod. It's hard to make out at first, with your figure huddled deeply under the comforter, but he smiles when he realizes you'd said yes.

He shifts, now sitting cross-legged on the bed beside you, his hand remaining on your head. He sighs, thinking about what he could do to make you feel better.

...He'd be lying if he said he didn't wish you were roomed with him for the night. He wants to make sure you're okay, but he also knows that Sky is perfectly capable of being there for you should you want it.

...And he says 'want', because goddesses know you definitely need it.

"...You feel like eatin'?" he asks softly, voice remaining low as he leans a little closer. He sighs again when he hears you mumble a weak "Not really..."

"...Yeah, I figured..."

He sighs for what now has to be the eighteenth time. He wants you to eat; he knows you haven't all day, and it's past 5 PM now...

"...I know you don't want to, doll, but... could you at least take a little bite? For me? Pretty please?" he asks as sweetly as he can muster.

He hears you sigh, and for a split second he's worried he's pushed you too far; but to his pleasant surprise, you sit up, reaching for the plate.

Heh. Can't say no to me, can you lovebug?

He smiles; the way your hair's all messy and the tired look on your face makes you cute, but in a heart-breaking sort of way. He watches intently as you slowly pick up the fork, poking at the food; and his smile grows more as you finally take a bite.

He places his hand back on the top of your head. "Good pup," he chuckles softly, laughing a little more as you huff at him.

You must've finally realized you were hungry, because he sits in silence for several minutes as you manage to finish off a little more than half the plate.

"There you go," he says softly with a tender smile. "Feelin' a little better?"

You nod, setting the plate back on the nightstand and pulling the blanket back up to your shoulders.

"...You're free to go back to sleep if you want, darlin'. I just wanted to check up on you," he says, subconsciously leaning a little closer to your face as his hand drops to your shoulder. "...Do you want me to stay here, or should I leave?"

"You can stay..." you say softly. He's overjoyed at your response, grinning like a lovestruck dumbass (because he totally is. Not that he's admitting it or anything. Not at all.)

"...I can do that. But you're cuddlin' with me whether you like it or not, lovebug."

He laughs as you huff again, rolling your eyes this time. "Fine..."

His grin only grows, lying down and pulling you down with him. Gently, he pulls your head onto his chest, resting his hand on the top of your head as he noses your hair.

"See? I'm not so bad," he chuckles softly.

"I guess not..." you sigh, and he runs his finger through your hair.

"...Don't worry, sweet thing. Sometimes you just need someone else to take care of you when you can't do it yourself....

"...And I'll be that person if you'll just let me. Don't worry your pretty little head about a thing, darlin'. I'm here..." he says tenderly, stroking your hair.

He's so warm and his presence is so comforting, it's not long before you're on the verge of sleep again. A soft chuckle rumbles in his chest.

The last thing you note in your half-asleep state, is that you could've sworn you felt his lips on your forehead.

"Sleep, little lovebug. I'll be here when you wake up."

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Tagging friends so they see and maybe are proud of me lmao

@trippygalaxy @the-cucco-nuggie (you might like this one. I know how much you like hylian jacob black from twilight)

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Okay giving you a bit less than 171 because I am almost done this and a few more people have asks for it so I'm trying to spread the love <3

---

Date: August 10th, 2024

To: vincentgerrard@lacity.com

From: r.pinkman@lainvestigator.net 

Subject: Re: Fire Captain Story

Gerrard,

Okay. I’ll bite. Tell me about your captain story. Should we set up time for a call? 

Best,

Rex

The next two emails are them setting up time for a call. It looks to have happened mid-August, if it happened at all. So, there could very well be a reporter out there with a lot of dirt on Bobby. Athena is so mad her teeth might crack from the tension in her jaw. 

Then it gets interesting. 

Still horrific. But interesting. 

Date: August 13th

To: marcusimpson@lacity.com 

From: vincentgerrard@lacity.com

Subject: Position at 118

Simpson,

I’ve thought a lot about our conversation the other day. I understand that you take the word of my subordinates here at the 118 as meaningful, given their perceived heroics and status in the LAFD. I’d want to keep them happy, too. Even if, like you said, Wilson doesn’t know her damn place. 

So I get why you think transitioning Nash back is for the best. Really, I do. Easier to do the thing that appeases the brats than is for the good of the Department, overall. Right? Kind of like when your predecessor Alonzo took Nash back in the first place, after that bombing situation. I see why it was done. But it was wrong. 

I’m gonna make it simple. You can bring Nash back. I’ll walk away. But I have a call scheduled with a reporter at a sizeable paper. He’s interested in the story of the medal-winning fire captain with a history of arson. A history the city knew about and let slide. 

Or you can let me keep my old station. Find something else for Nash. Hell, transfer Wilson and her gaggle of girlfriends out of here. I don’t care. And the Department doesn’t have to look bad publicly. 

All due regards,

Vince

So that’s why he was going after Bobby. Blackmail. It doesn’t look like Simpson replied to this email. Athena understands. It was probably a call or a meeting. If she were Simpson, she’d want to say things off the record, too. 

Well, this was over a month ago. Clearly he got his way. Why kill him? Not that Athena wouldn’t like to strangle him herself right now. She would. But why actually go through with it? The story never got published. In their mind, was just him knowing and being willing enough? Because plenty of people who aren’t chummy with Bobby know. 

She keeps reading. 

Date: August 19th, 2024

To: vincentgerrard@lacity.com

From: r.pinkman@lainvestigator.net 

Subject: Re: Fire Captain Story

Hi Vince,

Thanks again for our call yesterday. 

After some reflection and speaking with the boss, I don’t think we’ll be pursuing this story. Doesn’t feel right to dump on a recovering alcoholic, you know? Not like the guy was malicious or predatory. That’s more what we focus on here. Fire thing is sad but that’s mostly just it. Sad. 

Anyway, good luck with the job. 

Best,

Rex

So, he got his way with the chief… But not from the paper. Athena thinks about this. Despite getting what he wanted technically, it sounds like no one was giving Gerrard what he wanted emotionally. To feel like a better captain than Bobby. More validated in having the 118. The station he lost, because - in his sick mind - of Hen. Someone who respected Bobby, but not him. What would having Simpson’s disdain and the rejection of all the papers do? 

It would probably make him pretty angry. 

And angry at who? Everyone, really. Simpson, Hen, Rex, Taylor Kelly. But beyond that? The person who seemed to get all the praise, when Gerrard just couldn’t find any respect at all. 

Bobby.

[stellar-skyy]

SUGGESTED READING - ♡

NOTES: this is an ongoing list of some of my favourite works by my mutuals! there were many i wanted to include (because everyone is so talented omg) but i didn't want this list to be too long.

some of these writers have moved, but i have tagged their latest blog. if you wish to not be included here for whatever reason, let me know and i will remove you.

the blood of the covenant. — @romaritimeharbor ⤷ notes: addi's writing style will never fail to amaze me. every word of this had me giggling and kicking my feet, and reading it felt like a warm cup of tea. i adore the way the siblings are written, this is just so fluffy and lovely with a sprinkle of hurt/comfort for flavour. i love you endlessly! — @thexianzhoujade ⤷ notes: absolutely hearbreaking. this broke me. i have never emotionally recovered from this. written absolutely beautifully, in the most shattering way possible. will he change his mind about you? — @june-again ⤷ notes: this hit me right where it hurts, because i could see myself: desperately clinging to someone while quietly wondering when it was going to end. it honestly almost made me cry when i read it, because i remember when i was at a point in my life where i needed to hear those words and reading this felt like it healed something in me. 1989 - a blog event. — @aventurne ⤷ notes: to celebrate 1989 (tv) we were treated to a fic every day for almost a month from the lovely meisha! i was rereading them to pick one or two for this list, but i couldn't make up my mind so putting the event itselfl! my favourites are suburban legends, wildest dreams, and wonderland. the beautiful implications of kaveh’s missing hairbrush. — @june-again ⤷ notes: such a simple concept, but it is so sweet. i absolutely adore the way this is written, it's so comforting. absence. — @romaritimeharbor ⤷ notes: 10/10 kills me every time. the kaveh!dad au has a special place in my heart, but this fic especially. [name]'s grief is so painful to read, but seeing alhaitham comfort them... it's the best kind of hurt/comfort, where nothing really is okay anymore but you have each other. curtain call. — @rainswept ⤷ notes: my favourite lyney fic from THE lyney writer of all time. and this one. this one is my favourite out of your lyney fics. there's something so foreboding about it, every word feels closer to doom: to the curtain call, as it is titled. i'm never gonna have enough words that describe how well you write characters so i am just going to leave it at oh my god this was amazing. dancing with the fontainians. — @nervocat ⤷ notes: ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE. dancing. fontaine characters. i don't need to explain myself, you had me at dancing. this is very cute and fluffy. the art of war. — @ryuryuryuyurboat ⤷ notes: the first fic i read from the lovely miss yukari! i love this so much, cafe aus are a guilty pleasure of mine and this one was so fun. i'm still giggling at the idea of kokomi just blue-screening after getting asked out.

[eri-pl]

Warning: loose rambling, suicide-related topics, criticism of Feanorians and of Polish culture, especially romanticism.

Feanorians, Polish history and self-destruction

We, the people of Poland celebrate our failed uprisings. Well, maybe not now, now it's going away, but until recently.

Feanorians are driven by death too. Glorifying death. What did Miriel do? Die.

And now she's the best mother ever, you cannot criticize her, Nerdanel can't compare, not can Curufin's unnamed wife. Not to mention Indis.

What does Finwe do? Many things, but then dies. And Feanor is driven to self-destruction. He knows he won't survive the Oath, deep inside he knows that

We destroy ourselves in an effigy to the dead, because we can't accept that they're gone.

We cannot parse the feeling, instead we burn. We say it's for our freedom, our national independence, our Silmarils and what not, but really it's just about not coping with loss.

It was never about recovering anything.

Only about channeling the pain of not having it, the guilt of people having died because of us, or even just close to us. Channeling it all into fire.

Polish romanticism is so Feanorian. Oaths, arguing with divine brings, trying to solve problems by self-destruction, and death for The Cause held as the highest achievement. Long suffering is a good second place.

"It's all because of Catholicism" you say. But it's not.

Catholicism, any healthy Christianity is not about self-destruction. It's about life, not death, with the caveat that life isn't only here and this. Martyrdom is not about self-destruction, self-punishment and suffering. It's about showing to others (and maybe to yourself) that somewhere beyond is so much more life, so much better life if you trust God, that this life cannot compare. Not because it's worthless. It's worthless only in comparison. Only.

(I'm not saying every Christian is emotionally healthy, I'm just saying it's the doctrine. Every group has people who hate themselves and want to burn, because they see it as the only way to being with anything.)

I'm not judging from above, I have a deep deep instinct of solving problems by hating and sabotaging myself too. I'm gradually healing from it.

So yeah, redemption arcs culminating in the character dying. Sometimes it makes sense but there's too much if it and not enough of characters actually having to do the work.

Also, revenge. Revenge on yourself for your father, your country, your whatever, and later revenge on everyone, friend or foe, cold revenge rising from its grave, cold oath, with God or without. Mickiewicz is so Feanorian, except Feanor would fight in the uprising 😋

Because destroying your enemy (you are also your enemy, the oath never says that they are except from the death and woe) is more important that whatever you were grieving at the start? Because the dead (not they as actual persons, they as your guilt) are more important than the living?

Feanor never went to Mandos to ask Finwe whether he wanted to be avenged. But he had no problem forcing his sons to swear a dancing oath.

There was a really good quote about how we should focus more on being good ancestors than dutiful descendants. Was it on Pinterest or in the fall of Numenor?

We build museums and statues for lost wars instead of building houses for our children.

Death and woe we shall deal. Mostly to ourselves.

Hmmm, I should end with some conclusion but I lost my train of thought before I got half as far as I wanted.

There are a lot of great psychotherapy - related videos about how many problems are caused by the inability to accept negative feelings, uncertainty, and sadness. Just sitting with them and saying "yes, I'm sad." (I recommend Heidi Priebe on YT if you feel like you want to go swear an impossible oath or something similar, and for many other issues too)

Tldr: life before death or something.

Also, from one song

...so I'm gonna live, 'cause I'm so tired of dying.

Ps: no, I'm not in a dangerous mood or anything (but if you worried, thank you for caring!), quite the opposite + feeling philosophical + pondering origin of Feanor's issues and later Maedhros and all after the Czech musical gave me inspiration.

[starlightshadowsworld]

My thoughts on Bsd Chapter 113

Spoilers.

Obviously.

Okay guys we get it Sigma is alive, everyone chill.

I didn't think Sigma was dead, but good to have confirmation regardless.

The true duality of Double Black is that they can take down the most vindictive and smart villians.

And also share one braincell between them.

You'd think the first one or two times Chuuya dropped Sigma he'd think maybe this isn't gonna work.

And of course he dropped him 15 times.

I kinda wish it was 16 purely because Chuuya is wearing the same outfit he had on during the Dragons head incident (which was 6 years ago, when he was 16.)

But this is still funny.

... Hold on I just realised Dazai doesn't know Sigma has an ability.

Otherwise he'd probably know what happened to him, given how similar it works to Ango's.

Chuuya stop saying Fyodor is dead, you've said it twice now and the more you do the less I believe you.

Ohhh hell yeah I love the effect of all the memories looking like pages.

Starting from the bottom of the pile seems like a good idea but man how long is Sigma gonna be out for?

Oh back to this shit... Listen I don't care for Fukuchi but I do love Fukuzawa.

The fact Fukuchi admits there were other ways but this was his decision.... He could've spared Fukuzawa all this pain but chose not too.

Man fuck this guy.

Also the condition that 500 lives could achieve world peace, hated that.

The coin bombs didn't threaten lives he says like it didn't almost kill Tachihara.

Of course it was Fyodor's plan, only he'd come up with such nonsense.

At least we know why Fyodor was in Mersault now.

Back to Sigma.... Why is there a castle?

... Please tell me that's not Fyodor...

IS THAT BRAM?!

... What the fuck am I witnessing?

And not just Bram, Count Bram who's body isn't impaled by the sword.

And it is Fyodor, how old are you?! Love the robe but what?!

Oh and right back to this... I said it before and I'll say it again fuck Fukuchi man.

Having Fukuzawa choose between his life or the Agencies, become the thing he never wanted to be or save his family.

I do wonder if that choice is basically the mystery to get out the book, because this is shill Poe's book.

Or if that was just finding out the mystery of the past, who knows.

God and Fukuchi not needing to give any last words because he has no regrets. Because his best friend is going to kill him and it's everything he wants

Fukuchi wins and it costs Fukuzawa everything.

I do love that Fyodor retains his love for getting captured on purpose.

And flirting with Count Bram apparently, I can already see the fics.

Man when even the Vampire King calls you evil incarnate.

Is Fyodor trying to be a seer? What is this premonition? Or is he just fucking around.

Oh shit yeah reminder that Bram is from Ireland, so that's why the Romans be such an issue rn.

... Jeez how far in the past is this?

Also, is it just me or does Fyodor have a scar on his face he doesn't have in the present?

Yeah Bram I don't think that's gonna kill him.

Oh and Fukuzawa aiming him cut down Fukuchi in the same place he sliced Akutugawa.

AWW AND HE CAN'T DO IT.

My heart, I'm so glad Fukuchi didn't get mad at him for it or I would've flipped the table.

You're really asking a lot.. Like way to much.

Which is when Teruko shows up.

Awh Teruko... And putting the sword in Fukuzawa's hands so he takes the fall as she cries.

I can't...

Fuck man...look at him. His face, his eyes Fukuzawa is never going to emotionally recover from this and neither will I.

Aya hunny I appreciate the enthusiasm but you might wanna read the room.

[windblume-violet]

Wuthering waves is out to be predownloaded! I just finished predownloading, and now I'm waiting to pick my mc (male rover). Wish me luck with being a mobile gamer. I am hoping the controls are decent and I don't have to fight my ancient ass laptop (it's not ancient. It just runs so slowly for damn reason. There's nothing even on it. It's actually cruel).

Yeah, yeah, I can hear you all saying he's basically Kirito from Sao but LISTEN. I have a soft spot for that energy. That, and being a Scar/Rover shipper, is so much funnier if you remember the amnesia bit. My boy knows nothing of himself. And he falls for Scar first over the obvious answers everyones been teasing him about (Yangyang, Chixia, Baizhi, etc)? He's never emotionally recovering when he realizes.

I'm probably gonna be a multishipper, honestly, but as of now, Scar/Rover is also that jumps out at me.

[baeshijima]

Sophie. Your tags on that art are gonna make me cry again. Super fitting that it's the Hydro archon quest bc I sure can feel the Hydro in my eyes rn!! 🥲🥲🥲🥲

Also related but unrelated but I wanna talk about how much I appreciate the role they let the Traveler have in the archon quest. I'm really glad they didn't make the Traveler some foreign entity that swooped in from afar to save everyone from impending disaster, and instead made it such that all the Fontaine characters each played their own part in mitigating the effects of the prophecy (from Lyney's magic pockets to Wrio's flying ship), and it just so happened that things led to the Traveler helping to expedite this overall process and eventually proving to play an integral part in the greater scheme of things. Like, it's really satisfying that it's not all about *them*, yknow? In this archon quest, Furina and Neuvi were easily the true protagonists over Traveler, and I really appreciate that.

Wow that's a lot of brainrot... I'm really wordy nowadays, sorry about that >< BUT YEAH I can't stop screaming about this archon quest!! When everyone thought it would be impossible for them to top Sumeru's finale AND THEY DID!!!!

iryth. i will never recover from the quest. it gets worse when i have more realisations abt the impact of focalors and furinas sacrifices (in their own ways) and the actual, in-game world impact it has bc they were literally the first to actually deal a heavy blow to celestia directly by deceiving them for the last five centuries and overturned the prophecy that was sure to happen ;w; they deserve so much and i hope focalors finds peace and that furina can carry a happy life from now on ;w;;

AND NO BC I FEEL THE SAME ???? like,,, we were actually a spectator to this massive, large-scale opera from the very beginning with furina as the main character and focalors as the playwright and neuvi having such an important role from coming to understand and love humans during the five hundred years of being the iudex, all to arrive at the moment where focalors self-sacrifices to return his authority just so he can overturn the prophecy and declare fontainians as not guilty bc of his love for them and !!!! OURGH im so unwell i hate it here hyv stop this insanity i physically and emotionally cannot handle anymore (she says while replaying the focalors-furina-neuvillette cutscene ;w;)

[vaultsixtynine]

Oh please give us your bg3 review IGN style

69/420 not enough gates

more genuinely (trying to keep this mostly spoiler free but there are a few for act 3 characters and brief discussion of the end of the game):

pros -

before you even see any of my petty complaints: bg3 GOTY no contest. i just have an opinion about everything on earth. okay let's keep going.

extremely well crafted characters and, in most cases, character arcs. fleshed out, feel real, feel lovable even though they are all so distinct. quality of character design and voice acting goes without saying. really powerful reflections on power and those who abuse it and the myriad of ways that power can be inflicted on others - on their bodies, on their minds, how it shapes them, how they can recover and heal from that.

wonderful attention to detail in almost every sense - storytelling, beautiful world, wonderful combat variety and interest save for a few standout "you just want this to be Hard so you put More Enemies In" exceptions, cool items, adventuring feels fun, there's plenty of secret things to discover.

just so fun to play and explore and exist in the world. if one beat isn't landing, there will be five more elsewhere that will. there is something to love for everyone in this game.

i was raised on forgotten realms rpgs and (obviously personal bias here) this scratched an itch so deep inside me that i hadn't realized was basically unfulfilled except for by a few rare exceptions. i loooooove a good fantasy rpg. baldur's gate 3 is a Really Good fantasy rpg.

i love you jaheira. if there's an old lady in a video game with a positive relationship to my pc that i can get emotionally attached to I Fucking Will.

dammon i also love you please call me, vesper, the real person. anathema the in-game player character can go do whatever she's gonna do but me and dammon should meet up. i wanted to be a blacksmith when i was 14 is that doing anything for you.

larian took the opportunity to play with some underlying assumptions that have been built into the world of d&d since it was created, most specifically "is there such a thing as inherent good or inherent evil". this is a very strong through-line, but it leads me into our next sectionnnn [drumroll]

cons -

no fat people. this is frankly just kind of embarrassing in a way that will make me incandescently angry if i think about it too long <3

pacing between acts is not the best. they wrote and built themselves into a corner with act 1 being the early access phase and i kind of wish they had been willing to Alter act 1 in a meaningful way to correct the rest of the game. this is probably my Biggest Core Complaint that has the largest leg to stand on. i'm not going to go into further detail because it requires extreme spoilers.

simplistic interaction with the concept of religion in a game world dominated by gods and their machinations.

unfortunately subject to many of the frustrating facets of the d&d multiverse. druid's relationship with nature vs. civilization. paladins in their entire. i could go on but this isn't really larian's fault, and they already were playing with...

the concept of intrinsic good/evil mentioned above AND the discussion of abuse/power/etc. - this was very interesting and powerful to me. the act structure pacing was kind of fucked up from inception. this all combined into what i felt like was a... Perfectly Fine but Honestly Weirdly Flat ending. it's serviceable. i will probably never think about it again until i replay the game. when i compare it to some other rpg game endings, it feels almost as though it's an afterthought, a thing to be checked off a list to say 'i'm done' - not a meaningful resolution to these questions and concepts they spent so much time and effort setting up. this is obviously my personal opinion and it probably landed differently to others, but i found myself feeling like the game had already ended with the resolution of actual core character dramas earlier in act 3, rather than the Actual ending. it didn't say anything important to me in a game that had already gone well out of its way to say MANY important things to me, and thus it felt very odd.

vesper's feeling petty category (ACTUAL WRITTEN-OUT SPOILERS) -

orin was my favorite of the chosen and i wanted her to be scarier and more of a genuine menace. the bhaal cult stuff was some of my favorite in the game but i wanted it to take a genuine detour into being a horror game for just a lil bitt

love the emperor specifically his extremely divorced energy with the pc. however. he spends the entire game constantly saying how much he hates the elder brain, how much he hated serving it. you can go out of your way to be kind to him, connect with him. he IS a bastard and i don't want to diminish that in any way, but i feel like the orpheus/emperor decision was nearly arbitrary in how it got resolved - binary switch, none of your repore-generation with yon emperor means Anything; he's spent all game manipulating you (in a nearly player-like fashion, might i add, which i thought was fun) and yet also is clearly attached in some fashion; you could argue that his apparent vulnerability and attachment was also just a manipulation tactic but i would have liked to be able to influence him for just a moment. a little reverse osmosis. we've been doing everything your way, babe, let's do it my way for once. AT THE VERY LEAST: why did he join the netherbrain. that just feels silly for his character. him throwing a fit and saying "FINE you can't fire me I QUIT" and fucking off would've still been better than going over to the netherbrain. imhco.

i liked durge soooo much but the reveal was a TAD too "oooooooh YOU'RE revan" for me.

i know i already wrote about this in the cons section but GOD the jumbled act pacing. this could be a full essay on that alone.

^^^ sorry one more sentiment about that. it kind of ruined the building of atmosphere in this game and that's so sad to me because i love Atmosphere more than almost any other game trait and when games pull it off? they become immortal inside of me.

there are clearly so many spots where something got cut and nothing filled the gap. in most cases it's tolerable; your brain can glide over it. in SOME cases it's so obvious that it becomes distracting and frustrating - the missing niece vampire in cazador's mansion, karlach and gale's companion quests Writ Large, yetcetra.

what the fuck is going on with halsin's writing. he's a delightful hunk of a man who doesn't seem to realize he's the stupidest druid alive who can't decide his actual philosophy one way or the other. not his fault. i just want to know what the hell happened there.

MISSING OWLBEAR CONTENT I WANT TO SEE MY BOY GROW UP BIG AND STRONG BUT HE JUST ARRIVED TO THE FINAL FIGHT ALREADY BIG???? I FEEL LIKE I MISSED MY BABY'S FIRST STEPS AND FIRST WORDS I FEEL LIKE THE WORST PARENT ON EARTH.

[kineticallyanywhere]

Out of pure curiousity you mentioned once that you were thinking of maybe some sort of sequelish thing to MoM- is that still something you have as a potential project or is the book closed on MoM? No pressure either way, I'm just curious because in my opinion MoM has one of those perfect endings that makes you wish the journey was longer just because you weren't ready to say goodbye and the idea of more MoM maybe even more then Actually Having More MoM interests me

It has come to my attention that I have newer followers who were unaware of my Red vs Blue fixation phase. For those people, here's a link to the fic in question: Mind over Matter on Ao3

The book is almost certainly closed on that, my fixations have moved on and I agree with you about the ending being this bittersweet balance of wanting more but not quite being willing to risk how well the landing stuck. but I had two ideas, one for a companion and one for a sequel.

(summaries and writing excerpts below the cut)

The companion is basically a long one-shot from Carolina's PoV that takes place during MoM. I actually wrote quite a bit of it! it's the most likely to get finished one day. you'd get to see her and everyone else's reaction to Wash and Epsilon going missing, and it would fill in a lot of details that Our Boys don't get to see. For example, in the last chapter Wash's helmet is present because Carolina and Tucker managed to recover his armor during their frantic raiding of enemy bases to find them. Also, Sarge and Simmons weren't supposed to be the team at the base where Our Boys got rescued. It was supposed to be Tucker and his team, but Tucker was so distracted looking for Wash and Church that they had to put the Reds on it. You'd also get a bit of Emily talking about more technical details for what was going on with Wash's brain while he and Epsilon were super-fused together. Oh! it also would have explained how they were able to get a new chip printed for Wash so fast. the base they raided to get Wash's armor also had the equipment and data used to make the taser-chip that they put Epsilon into in chapter 1.

An excerpt, because of course this got me to find my old file. Takes place after the rescue:

Grey finally puts down her datapad. “I'll keep chipping away at what I can, but I just don't have an answer for you right now, Carolina. The science of neurotechnology isn't exactly new, but it's still very unexplored. We may have to prepare ourselves to wait for answers until they can fix themselves.” “And how long will that take?” Carolina asks, as if she hasn’t already assigned herself indefinitely to this chair.  “Ooh, feisty! Careful, or Caboose will grab the spray bottle again. Can’t have you climbing any more walls.”  Carolina’s patience for jokes is about as thin as the arm rests on her seat, which creak under her hands. “So you can’t tell me anything.” Dr. Grey’s smile dims a few watts. She tilts her head, thoughtfully. Then she says, “My best guess is: whatever protocols got broken, Epsilon would have had to have broken them himself.” “But--” “But, he would never have done that to himself. Or to Agent Washington. They're both prickly and emotionally constipated -- and there's a buffet of redacted history between them I would simply love to sink my teeth into, given the chance. But. They care about each other. Church wouldn't have taken it this far without Wash's input; and Wash wouldn't have let him. They got into this together. They'll get out together, too.” Because Carolina’s life makes no sense, suddenly all she can think about is Caboose, several days ago, in the meeting room.  “They’re gonna be okay.”  Back in the present, Grey chirps, all sunshine and rainbows again, “So we’ll just have to hurry up and wait!” Carolina slumps back in her chair. “You are really… not my favorite person.” “Well of course not!” She leans over the bed to frame Wash’s face with one hand. “Look at my competition!” Then she swaps out the bandage on his face with ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ fluidity.

the sequel would have gone full AU from before the epilogue of MoM. It would really just be me self-indulgently sinking my teeth into all of Blue Team's issues, with the added bonus of Wash and Epsilon having sorted through their own issues and it casts a harsh light on how every other relationship on the team hasn't really sorted out theirs. Accomplished by trapping them all in a tunnel system through Chorus with a bunch of mercs/pirates and juggling around which combinations of characters are split up with each other.

Carolina and Tucker probably the juiciest, because their understanding and history of every other member of the team is starkly different from each other:

“When Wash led you all back for us--” “‘Wash led?” Tucker parrots back. He actually laughs. “Love to break this to you, but Wash was the last one who wanted to go back for you.” Carolina’s head, maybe her whole body, empties out in a single moment. “...what?” Tucker jabs himself in the chest like he wishes his finger was sharper. “I’m the dipshit who couldn’t live with himself if you both suicided. He just got swept up in every other idiot suddenly growing a hero complex. I don’t know what Agent Washington was like, but Wash is the stone-cold asshat with abandonment issues."

Also featuring Caboose getting to hug Blue Squared.

Maybe one day I'll spend a summer sinking back into that hottub of Red vs Blue brainrot, but for now we can daydream

[lemon-inferno]

Reborn Rich the final episode

What an ending.

It's so bittersweet but I love it. Maybe it's my obsession with Jin Do Jun, but if you follow the actual chronology of things - Do Jun was reborn as Hyun Woo first. Because he died first. And if fate cannot be changed then he was meant to recover his memories as Jin Do Jun, which had alread been burried within him. Even before Hyun Woo "died" (for a week), it was meant to happen. So who is really who at the end? As Hyun Woo called it, you could think of it as repentance, but for me personally, Do Jun existed in Hyun Woo long before Hyun Woo got "reborn" as Do Jun.

All that being said, I do have some very smaaaaaall issues with the ending.

First, it felt rushed. Honestly the last 3 episodes or so felt really rushed compared to the rest of the drama's pace. Everything that needed to happen still happened, but it was just.... I don't wanna say half-baked but.....

Second, Hyun Woo got shot straight in the head point blank. You're telling me he miraculously survived that? Sure there are some miracles that happene even in real life, but it's a patter I hate with tv shows, nto just kdrama. At the very least, he would've needed years to recover. Although, if I really want to defend it, I could say the years he spent as Do Jun somehow changed Hyun Woo's brain's perception of time which afforded him just enough time to recover. Still, between Do Jun's and Hyun Woo's death, Do Jun would've had a much higher survival rate than Hyun Woo. Sure, Do Jun's car got slammed pretty hard, but it's not comparable to getting shot at point blank IN THE FREAKING HEAD, now is it? :/

Also I would've loved to see the actual process of Mr. Oh Se Hyun working with Do Jun's mother, instead of just hearing about all the things they're gonna do..... but we don't get to see them.

Jin Sung Jun's character deserved more too. Sure he was greedy, but he was not guilty of ordering Do Jun's murder. Both times he was innocent. He knew everyone would've suspected him, which is was exactly what his father wanted. It's the reason why he got the company in the first place. Sung Jun deserves some justice too. I feel like it would've been that more epic if the show had gone back to the conversation between Hyun Woo and Sung Jun from episode 1 and committed to the bond that was forming. Imagine if we had Hyun Woo and Sung Jun working together in the final episodes. Hyun Woo gets to finish Do Jun's deed and Sung Jun finally has a change of heart and pays tribute to his grandfather and runs the company with the same heart his grandfather had.

On a more positive note (says anticupid), Hyun Woo did not end up in a relationship with Min Young! Which makes logical sense, for once. I'm not saying I'm happy that they didn't get together, I'm saying it happened for the right reasons. But I'm sure most of the ship's fans will be satisfied that she seemed to recognize Do Jun in Hyun Woo in the end. One could imagine they did end up meeting up and like.... making babies. Idk.

I liked the future Min Young a lot more. Although for her to become the Soonyang Grim Reapper and wear only black because she was mourning for Do Jun, I really would have loved to see more of their relationship developing at least? As it was all based on only a few times they talked? Briefly? But I guess human emotiones are unpredictable, so it's possible. Anyways, there's that.

A little sad the endings of the rest of the characters were rushed by too, but I didn't see anything that made me think "hmm this doesn't make sense". Honestly, is there not going to be a season 2? Now I'm kinda disappointed, because I wish we had spent more time with how the other characters' life continued. As well as more to see of Do Jun with his family. But I get it, it was never the focus of the show.

All my other thoughts about this drama flew out the window.

I can say it was a lovely experience. I enjoyed this so much despite constantly finding something to nag about. I loved following Jin Do Jun's life, and that particular era in South Korea's history. The real footage they used. I loved Jin Yang Cheol's character, I loved Lee Sung Min's acting (as well as Joong Ki's, always).

It made me cry a couple of times and any drama that invokes real emotion in me keeps a spot in my heart. Especially when Ha In Seok went to testify and thought Hyun Woo was Do Jun (was he wrong though?) and wanted to protect him. The unspoken hero of this show. It was a fantastic story, even if we look at it only from Do Jun's perspective, it makes for an amazing story. Had Hyun Woo not even been a part of this drama, I would've still loved just watching Do Jun and his grandpa. Hyun Woo's growth at the end was the bonus for me. I get to exprience something which unlocked his cage and his heart. The boy who grew up in poverty and had many hardships because of it, the boy who willingly walked into a cage because of his trauma caused by poverty. He put his emotions aside, thinking that money was more important than them. Finally, he was freed from it all.

With a new look on life, a new heart and a new dream, he was able to leave all of his hurt behind and live in a way that not only fits him better, as a human, but also a life that Do Jun would be proud to see him live.

Ugh. I'm gonna miss Do Jun's smile though. I know Joong Ki plays both, but that smile is now Do Jun's until the day I die and there's no changing my mind.

Alright, time to go cry in a dark corner. I love-hate this ending.

[wyrmskulls]

I havnt recovered from the Caz fight yet. BUT

here are some genuine thoughts on Astarion from my- knew nothing of baldurs gate before playing run: (from me the Ace with no sense of self preservation)

"Oh great a sexy vamp man- bet friend XYX is all over that, they are romanceable, right? like dragon age?"🧛‍♂️

".... that 'don't touch me' sounded too real.... hope im wrong"

" I mean if we are cool with Shar worshippers and devil pacts why not a vamp, join the club buddy."

"he is a cagey little fuck I think I'll go after him this play through love his little faces"

"I'm not into pain, thinking this was a bad choice" chains and whips to not excite Tav XD

"I mean maybe it's the years of slavery and not sexual trauma???" 🙏

"noooo, I mean of course the sexy vamp wants to fuck, I probly have to- to get more of his story...." proceed to worry stupidly about unskippable sex scenes and noises for no reason (you can press x any time to get to the next thing / dialog)

get propositioned again at party.... "maybe this relationship won't work out, he's way to thirsty least there wasn't another sex scene lol dun worry buddy, I'll help you murder that guy that hurt you, just can't keep up with the horny XD"

"so I just feed him bad guys and tell him he is pretty? yup that checks out"

act 2

Start working on wyll, he seems like a cool guy... "whoa bud, is this you first romance scene.... by saying yes to a dance... feels icky cause I know sex happens at some point, like some entitled jerk at a bar, least astarion was real upfront about it" ( in hind sight this was unfair to wyll, but everyone was being so horny and the only scene I had was astarions so I drew some incorrect conclusions with wyll being a 'good guy' asshole)

"I mean we has evidence that deals with devils are bad.... or is it demons... anyways I support you in a friend way, getting raphel to Facebook stalk your abuser to make sure he not still pineing after you is OK with me."

Got his Act 2 scene "OHNooooooo I was right it was a sexual trauma 'don't touch me....' ohhhh noooooo. he didn't wanna fuck either????? baby boy, you never gotta sex again if you dun wanna, we can hug forever!" cried a while ngl

"look here blood witch- no means no, if your house wasn't destroyed, I'd destroy it myself."😈

"i mean he said he kills kids, so it's ok to kill him, then raphy boy will tell us if you back is bad news or really bad news <3"

"It's really bad news..... so no big astarion lover of cuddles l, will help you kill the guy who ruined your life. that's what romantic partners do. we kiss and nothing else and I will murder people to keep doing that <3" pondering an evil play through honesly

"he was so upset when Tav died in battle.... like doesn't he know rez scrolls are a thing? it's ok Tavs gonna live forever.... not sure how we will figuer that out" researches dnd lore to find several solutions XD

"Gale bud. friend. pal. I care about you and your life. your ex is shitty for asking you to do this, but also if you do blow up you'll take us all with you.... and even if you don't, #1 priority over there will be back under vamp thrall so this is a no go, put your shirt back on."🙃

act 3

found a cliff in the camp before act 3 with a song that made me cry again it is for sure astarions "wtf dude I was emotionally stable now what have you done"

"circus lady, here are all my loves deepest secrets- oh no she's a shapeshifter???? oops, it's ok love we will kill her too why not" No one can know how hurt you are but meeeeeee 😋

"a statue of my boyfriend in camp don't mind if I do~☆ aww now he has a halo so everyone can see he is a good boy who totally doesn't cause me to murder people and would never murder anyone himself" 😇

"Astarion NO, we are not gonna kill a bunch of other spawn just cause you are scared. I get it, and you don't have time for therapy but trust me that not gonna feel great in a few hundred years"

"ooooo blood bitch is back and you fucked up. look at this boy standing up for himself - yes that's right take us to your private house so we can kill you at our leisure.... man oh man I used to have morals now I got Astarion."

*****

and now I'm tired XD

[evanisalittlelost]

It's been one of those days.

I kinda had an episode last night, and I'm still recovering from it. Sometimes, I feel like I can't function by myself. Which is part of the reason I moved back in with Dad. Well, that and when he was gone, I was an absolute mess. I did not leave the shop for weeks after I met Nero for the first time. Anyway, I'm still... broken.

This time of year absolutely sucks for me. I know I mentioned that in another post, but I have to talk about these things in bits and pieces. It's not easy to explain what I went through as a child. The bullying was only a small part of my problems. My grandparents (Mom's parents) did not really love me. They tolerated me at best. My grandmother was worse than my grandfather. To this day, I still refer to them as 'the Mafia' because, at one point, they came to try and get me back.

Yeah... you can just imagine the field day my Dad had with them. Especially when he had Morrison go through all the trouble of forging my birth certificate and identification records to keep me out of their hands. The Mafia had the absolute nerve to come to Devil May Cry and slap a warrant for Dad's arrest on his desk. WITH police in tow.

Oh yeah. He was pissed.

This was about a year after the realized I was still alive. They told everyone that I had dragged off by an animal out in the forest, which is why they never recovered my 'body' and were so heartbroken about it. Then they had people watching my Dad the whole time.

Apparently, I was going to inherit their money or something like that. I don't care to know the full details. Not important anyway. But it's the abuse that I went through growing up in that mansion that I can't get over. I wasn't physically abused, I was emotionally abused and treated as Mom's pet.

I'll make it clear that Mom did not treat me like that at all. She was the only person who really loved me, but they tried to keep us separated as much as possible. The Mafia is exactly what they sound like.

I almost drowned under their watch and they didn't do shit about it.

I'm getting angry just thinking about it. The worst part is up until I turned 18, they still got their lawyer to send a letter to my Dad every year about how they could pursue him for legal charges. He pinned the letters up on the wall and used them to play a really fun game of darts. We don't get letters anymore, but I did hear that the Mafia has lost quite a bit of money in a bad investment.

Karma is a bitch.

Still, this is just one of the many problems I'm dealing with emotionally. The good thing is that I am in the right place with the right people. I have a family that really loves me. They aren't all blood relation, but they are my family.

Okay, I've made myself cry. I'm gonna stop here before I have another episode and this has gone on entirely to long.

Thanks for reading 😊

I'm gonna go make some hot chocolate and watch anime with Dad now.

[ooihcnoiwlerh]

It would've been my dad's birthday this weekend and it's been a lot to deal with emotionally.

He and I had problems; he was a decent man but had a lot of internalized daddy issues due to his combination of hero worship/disgust with his own father, who was a self-made (by inflation standards) millionaire who was also a mean drunk who physically abused his sons, verbally abused his daughter, and cheated on his wife (my grandmother who was a wonderful, intelligent, kind woman who was also significantly more attractive than he was.) My dad was a decent man who was able to either hide or compartmentalize his trauma both from childhood and from being a Vietnam war veteran and a recovering alcoholic who quit drinking around thirty, about fifteen years before I was born, but for everyone saying he was a great man I remember his repressed anger from everything. I saw all of his repressed daddy issues and his temper. He was never at any point physically abusive towards me, my mom, or my older sibling, but he was sometimes verbally and emotionally abusive and I'm sure that was his father speaking through him, because my dad both realized that his father was abusive but also adored him. And my dad was a community figure. He was active in the twelve step and alanon programs, was active in his church, and was a good person. We also had a fight that led to a screaming and crying match hours before the job interview for the job I have now that led to us not speaking for six months, at least in person. We started speaking again when he got sick with Omicron back in January 2022. He died March 2022, on his fourth hospital stay. He and I parted on good terms. I wasn't mad anymore, he wasn't mean. The last time we spoke properly, I was visiting him in the hospital and there was Chronicles of Riddick on the Si-Fy channel and we were riffing it Mystery Science Theatre style.

I needed to have my deck repaired. I am casual friends with some of his friends from church, and among them is an architect whose son died this year, and whose son was my age and born with a congenital heart condition. He spear-headed the task of having my deck rebuilt and everyone was so kind. I paid for the supplies and also food and drink but they did not request reimbursement for labor. Everyone tells me what a great man he was and I know that, I understand that, but I also have those memories of him almost trying to be his father. He was a good person who overcame a lot, but there was the ugly part of him.

I also kind of miss him. Sometimes I dream about him or want to ask his opinion on certain things and I can't. Certain music will make me cry. He passed early March 2022. I saw him die. I signed the death release forms at the hospital, and I was too numb to cry then. The following morning me, my sibling, and my brother-in-law went into his house---now my house--and we saw daffodils sprouting, and I thought of the line in Hadestown in the Road to Hell Reprise: "Everyone looked and everyone saw that spring that come again. It's a sad song...and we're gonna sing it again." I'd been putting on coffee because that was all I could think to do to be useful and that's when I started crying. I still cry whenever I think about that song.