#everyone was commenting on how much weight i'd lost? and in a way that was not so much ''wow u look good'' and more ''uh are okay??''

[thisbrilliantsky]

...

[creamflix]

PERSEPHONE — ryomen sukuna x female reader [chapter 5: finale]

summary: ryomen sukuna, ruthless tycoon of the alcohol industry, is used to crushing rivals. but when his former meek secretary walks into his office as his newest competitor, he’s blindsided. you’ve transformed into a powerful force, ready to go head-to-head in a high-stakes battle for dominance. as tension rises between you — both in business and something far more dangerous — sukuna realizes this fight might cost him more than just his empire.

content warnings & tags: enemies to lovers, modern au, business tycoon sukuna, mentions of depression and alcoholism, love triangle, angst, slow-burn,eventual smut, mentions of other jujutsu kaisen characters (suguru geto,uraume, choso kamo, gojo satoru, yuuji itadori) - this takes place in the same universe as my upcoming salaryman! choso fanfic

word count: 11.7k words

notes: with that, persephone comes to an end. thank you all so much for loving persephone! reader and business tycoon! sukuna <3 i hope this was the closure you were looking for. me personally i would have wanted to end it with a 4some with reader, suguru, uraume and sukuna /hj please let me know how you liked it in the comments below, i'd love to hear your thoughts - please grill me, i need the criticism. regarding the side-fics, i will be relasing them as lengthier oneshots. chapters don't really work for me, and i think it would be much more fun to read it in one go! i'll be putting out an announcement for tag list[s] soon enough <3.

masterlist

the rowdy murmur of voices and occasional bursts of laughter echoed faintly in the background as suguru pushed his way through the crowd. gojo’s teasing voice called after him, “yo suguru, where ya goin’? it’s just getting good in here!” suguru barely acknowledged him, stepping out into the quiet hallway and answering your call.

"hey," he said, voice soft but tired.

"hey," you replied, nerves laced in every syllable.

"miss me already?" suguru teased, but his heart wasn’t in it. there was something under the surface, a tension he couldn’t shake.

"yeah, i do." you paused, your throat tightening. "suguru… did you see the tabloid articles?"

there was a beat of silence, and then a deep sigh from his end. "yeah, i saw them. kinda hard not to. gojo thought it was funny as hell. i... i didn’t, obviously." his voice was flat, but you could hear the regret threaded in his words.

“suguru, you know i love you,” you began, feeling the weight of what you were about to say settle heavily on your chest.

"but?" suguru interrupted, his tone sharper than before.

"how did you —"

"just say it, vino," he urged, voice almost breaking. "i’ll handle it."

your breath caught in your throat, but you pushed through. "i need time for me. i need time to focus on myself. i can’t keep finding myself running back and forth between you two. being put on the spotlight like this… it’s not something i want."

there was a low, bitter laugh on the other end of the line. "so, what? you want to focus on yourself… but with sukuna? is that what you’re saying?" his frustration simmered just beneath the surface, restrained but there.

"that is not what i said," you shot back, feeling the rising heat of your own emotions.

"it sure sounds like that," he said, his voice a little more forceful now. "i don’t get it, y/n. i’ve been the one that helped you through everything, and now you’re basically saying you want to go back to that? have you lost your mind?"

"suguru, that’s a low blow, and you know it," you bit out, trying to keep your voice steady. "that happened four years ago —"

"but everyone, including yourself, can still see its effects today!" he snapped, his voice cutting through the air like a blade.

you winced, his words digging into the fragile wounds you’d been trying to heal for years. "how i chose to handle the situation is entirely on me!" your voice wavered, the rawness of the past seeping into your tone. "i was a fucking pussy for drowning myself in booze, using it as an escape when i could’ve just… fixed my fucking life."

the line went quiet for a moment. you could hear him breathing, could almost picture him rubbing his temples like he always did when things got too overwhelming.

"...i understand," suguru finally said, his voice low, almost resigned.

"sugu —"

"no, y/n," he interrupted, his tone gentler now, but laced with exhaustion. "i think… i’ll spend an extra couple of days here. with gojo, i mean. i need a break."

"suguru, please —"

there was a long, suffocating pause. you thought he’d disconnected the call until you heard him sigh again, softer this time. "you should go," he said, and his words pierced through you like a cold wind. "to him, i mean."

"suguru…" you whispered, the ache in your chest blooming like a bruise.

"y/n, i’m fine." but his voice betrayed him, trembling ever so slightly. "your words… they sting, but they make sense. you need time for yourself. i get it. i just —" he broke off, struggling to gather his thoughts. "i hope you find what you’re looking for."

his voice cracked, and your heart shattered.

"i love you," he said, the words heavy with finality. "god, i love you. and that’s the best mistake i’ve ever made."

before you could respond, the call disconnected. the silence that followed was deafening, pressing down on you, leaving you feeling hollow and more confused than ever.

but in suguru’s words, in his acceptance, there was also release — something you both had desperately needed but hadn’t known how to ask for. now, you had no choice but to confront the feelings you had been running from. and the terrifying part? there was no going back from here.

you stand in your apartment, your phone clutched tightly in your hand, the weight of the conversation with suguru still heavy in your chest. your mind races, replaying his words, but another name keeps surfacing, drowning out everything else: sukuna.

without thinking, your fingers dial a number, and uraume’s voice crackles through the line.

“miss l/n?” they answer, their tone professional, but there's an edge of concern. “is everything okay?”

you hesitate, biting your lip before blurting, “where’s sukuna?”

there’s a pause on the other end. “ryomen? he’s… i’m not sure. he left the office earlier.”

“what do you mean you’re not sure?” your voice rises, frustration bubbling to the surface. “why didn’t you tell me? why didn’t you —”

uraume’s calm voice interrupts your panic. “miss l/n, i didn’t know. he booked a private jet on his own. i only found out about it moments ago. he didn’t give any explanation.”

your heart pounds in your chest, the weight of the situation pressing down on you like a vice. “so, where is he now? where did he go?”

“he’s on his way to the airport.”

“the airport?!” you practically yell, the shock coursing through you like a jolt of electricity. “why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“i… i didn’t know,” uraume admits, their voice steady but tinged with a rare uncertainty. “he didn’t inform me of this.”

you exhale sharply, pacing the length of your apartment as your mind races. “okay, okay… i’ll meet you there. we need to stop him.”

“i’ll head there immediately,” uraume replies, their voice soft but firm. “don’t worry, miss l/n. we’ll figure this out.”

“don’t — just… i’ll be there in twenty.” you hang up, your heart hammering in your chest as you scramble for your keys.

your legs feel like lead as you sprint through the airport, dodging passengers, security, anyone in your way. you can feel your heartbeat in your throat, the weight of your desperation pushing you forward. the moment you passed through the security gate, it was all a blur — uraume must have worked their magic, because no one tried to stop you. you didn’t even have to explain yourself. no time for explanations, no time for anything except reaching him.

as you break into the open air of the runway, the roaring engines of sukuna’s private jet make everything around you tremble. the wind whips against your skin, tearing at your clothes, but it doesn’t matter. nothing matters except the sight of him — sukuna — climbing the steps to the jet, his broad frame silhouetted against the dull gray sky.

"sukuna!" you scream, your voice raw, your chest aching. the sound of the engines should drown you out, but somehow, as if attuned to your very soul, he hears you. he always hears you.

he pauses, his head turning sharply in your direction, and for a split second, the world seems to stop. his gaze locks onto yours, his red eyes wide with disbelief. you see the flicker of something unguarded, something vulnerable, as he stands frozen in place.

and then, for the first time in what feels like forever, he runs. he runs. down the ramp, missing a step, his usually precise and calculated movements thrown off as he rushes toward you. it’s so uncharacteristic of him — so unlike the sukuna you know — but in this moment, it’s all you’ve ever needed.

you meet him halfway, breathless, your chest heaving as you stop in front of him. the wind roars around you, the plane's wings creating a deafening backdrop, but everything else seems silent. it’s just the two of you. his eyes, stormy and conflicted, bore into yours, and for a moment, neither of you speak.

he looks at you like he doesn’t know whether to yell, hug, or kiss you, his jaw tight, his fists clenched at his sides.

"you’re bad for me," he finally rasps, his voice strained. it’s a confession, not an accusation. his brows knit together, and there’s something in his eyes — fear, anger, something raw. “you ruin me.”

“i know,” you whisper back, the wind biting at your skin, but your words are steady. “i know, ‘kuna.”

his chest rises and falls rapidly, his breath heavy like he’s on the verge of something. "we shouldn’t be doing this," he growls, his voice deep and rough, like he's trying to convince himself as much as you. his eyes flash with a dark emotion, flickering between anger and longing. "this isn’t — we can’t."

you step closer, your heart pounding so hard you swear he can hear it. “push me away then.” your voice is soft but firm, your gaze never leaving his.

he stares at you, his hands shaking as he balls them into fists. his jaw clenches, his throat bobbing as he swallows thickly. but when he opens his mouth to say something, nothing comes out. his lips part, and you see the conflict raging inside him. the way his eyes flicker between the plane behind him and your face, the way his body tenses as if he’s preparing to do something — anything — other than admit the truth.

"i can’t," he finally breathes, his voice breaking. his hands, trembling, reach for you but stop just short, as if touching you might shatter whatever’s left of him. there’s a roughness in his tone, a vulnerability that you rarely see.

you close the distance, taking his hands into yours. they’re cold, shaking slightly as you pull them towards you. “then don’t.”

he pulls you into him, his hands gripping you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, his body warm despite the coldness around you. his forehead presses against yours, and you feel his breath on your lips. for a moment, neither of you say anything, the closeness too overwhelming.

“this is a mistake,” he whispers, his voice low and pained. “you make me… feel things i shouldn’t. things that don’t make sense. i was…. fine before you.”

but you can hear the lie in his words, the way his voice wavers. you press your hand to his chest, feeling the rapid thudding of his heart, and you know — you know he’s just as lost in this as you are.

“it doesn’t have to make sense,” you whisper back. “it just has to be real.”

he exhales sharply, and for a moment, you feel his resolve crumble. his lips ghost over yours, hesitating, almost as if he’s giving you one last chance to walk away. but neither of you move.

and then he kisses you. hard. like he’s drowning and you’re his only breath. his grip tightens around you, desperate, rough, like he can’t get close enough. the kiss is bruising, intense, a war between need and restraint.

“you… drive me insane,” he murmurs against your lips, pulling back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark with emotion. “and i hate you for it.” but the way he’s holding you, the way he kisses you again, says the exact opposite.

“i don’t care,” you whisper, breathless as you kiss him back, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. “i don’t care, ‘kuna.”

he pulls you into him again, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist, his forehead resting against yours as you both stand there, panting, holding onto each other like you might both fall apart if you let go.

“you better not run from me again,” you murmur, your voice cracking slightly.

he huffs a bitter laugh, his eyes closed as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “you’re the only one i’ll ever come back for.”

and before you knew it, a wedding hall sparkled with warm light, reflecting off chandeliers and casting a soft glow on the sea of guests. everyone was dressed to the nines, but the only thing that seemed to matter was the pair standing at the altar. you, in a stunning white dress, felt the weight of the world fall off your shoulders when sukuna’s rough hands slipped the wedding ring onto your finger. he looked handsome in his black tuxedo, the sharp lines of his face softening for once, as he gazed at you with an expression you’d never thought you’d see on him — vulnerability. yuuji, standing as one of the best men, was barely holding it together. his cheeks were puffed out as he bit down hard, trying to stifle his sobs, while choso gave him a nudge, as if to remind him to stay strong. but even choso couldn’t stop the trembling in his own bottom lip as sukuna leaned in and captured your lips in a kiss.

the hall exploded into cheers and applause, filling the air with laughter and joy. you’re now officially y/n l/n ryomen, and as you stood there in sukuna's arms, you couldn’t imagine it any other way. the warmth of his body pressed against yours felt like home — something you thought you’d never feel after everything you’d been through.

as the evening carried on, the wedding party only grew livelier. the music shifted into something slower, signaling the couple’s dance. you and sukuna stood in the middle of the floor, all eyes on you as you swayed gently to the music. sukuna’s arms were strong around you, and his grip tightened on your waist like he was afraid to let go, but his expression remained neutral, as if he was suppressing the surge of emotion within him.

“you’re doing it wrong,” you whispered, a small smile playing at your lips.

“shut up,” he grunted, though his lips twitched, betraying the beginnings of a smile. “just keep dancing.”

off to the side of the hall, uraume stood watching the scene unfold. their eyes, usually so cold, had softened just a little as they observed how sukuna held you, as if you were the most precious thing in his world. beside them, suguru leaned against the wall, arms crossed, though his usual smug demeanor had all but vanished.

“you’ll never tell her, will you,” uraume said quietly, their eyes still on you and sukuna as you danced.

suguru exhaled softly, looking down at the floor before lifting his gaze to meet uraume’s. “she knows,” he replied, his voice low, almost tired.

“and yet you’re letting her walk away?”

“you’re letting it happen on your end too, you know,” suguru countered, his tone tinged with a hint of bitterness.

uraume’s brows furrowed slightly. “that’s not fair of you to say, geto.”

“is anything in life really fair?” suguru’s voice was laced with a resigned sadness, the weight of his words heavy in the air between them. he shifted his gaze back to you, a flicker of something unspoken in his dark eyes as he watched you laugh softly into sukuna’s chest. it was a sound he loved hearing, but one that wasn’t meant for him.

uraume didn’t respond, instead focusing on the way sukuna held you. “he really loves her,” they murmured, almost to themselves.

suguru nodded slightly, his jaw tightening. “yeah… he does.”

there was a moment of silence, the only sound being the soft music from the dance floor and the murmur of guests chatting around them. uraume broke the silence, their voice softer than usual. “it’s better this way, for both of them.”

“maybe,” suguru replied, his eyes never leaving you. “but that doesn’t make it any easier.”

uraume didn’t push further, knowing suguru’s heart wasn’t something easily mended, and instead shifted their gaze back to the happy couple. the wedding may have been a celebration, but to the two watching from the sidelines, it was a bittersweet reminder of what could never be.

as the dance ended and the crowd erupted into applause again, sukuna leaned down, pressing a kiss to your temple, and you whispered something only he could hear. he smiled — a rare, genuine smile — as he tugged you closer to him, the world around you fading away.

across the room, suguru turned away, letting the noise of the wedding drown out the quiet ache in his chest.

the sound of applause and laughter faded into the background as you pulled away from sukuna after the dance. his lips brushed your forehead softly, his hand lingering on your waist as he watched you with that familiar intensity. "go talk to him," he murmured, his voice gruff but knowing.

you gave him a grateful smile, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “i’ll be back,” you promised, before turning toward where suguru stood, half-hidden in the shadows near the back of the hall.

he had been watching you the entire time. his arms were crossed, a distant smile tugging at his lips as you approached, but there was something unmistakably bittersweet in his eyes. the smile didn’t quite reach them, as if he was holding back everything he truly felt, tucked safely behind that calm exterior.

“hey,” you said softly, stopping a few steps in front of him.

“hey,” he replied, his voice gentle. the weight of all the unspoken words between you both hung in the air. he uncrossed his arms, standing a bit straighter, but there was a sense of quiet acceptance in his posture. he didn’t need to say it; you both knew what this moment was.

"so..." you started, feeling the warmth of the room seep into your skin, but somehow it didn't reach the ache forming in your chest. "i just wanted to thank you."

he raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a soft smile. “thank me? what for?”

“for everything,” you said, stepping closer. “for being there, for helping me through all the hard times. i don’t think i could’ve done it without you. persephone itself wouldn’t have been there without you.”

he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “you give me too much credit. you’ve always had the strength. i just helped you see it.” his voice cracked ever so slightly, betraying the emotions he kept buried deep inside.

you took another step closer, so close now you could feel his presence like a comforting warmth. “suguru, you mean more to me than you realize. i wouldn’t be standing here right now, happy, if it wasn’t for you.”

his eyes softened, but the sadness remained. “i’m just glad you're happy, vino.” his nickname for you felt heavy with nostalgia, a remnant of the time when he was your closest confidant, your anchor.

"i am happy," you whispered, your eyes searching his. "but… you’re part of that happiness, too. i need you to know that.”

he held your gaze for a moment, his eyes reflecting a mix of emotions — regret, love, and something deeper, something that had always remained unspoken between the two of you. "i know," he said quietly. "i know. and i promise i’m okay with it. really." his voice was soft, but firm, as if he were reassuring not only you but himself.

there was a long pause, filled with the quiet sounds of the wedding behind you, but neither of you moved. finally, suguru sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i always knew you’d end up with him,” he admitted, his tone light, though his eyes carried a hint of sadness. “he’s what you need.”

“i don’t want you to think you’re losing me,” you said, your voice breaking slightly as you reached for his hand. "because you’re not."

he hesitated for a moment, then intertwined his fingers with yours, holding your hand tightly. “i’m not losing you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “because i’ll always be here for you. you know that, right?”

you nodded, your thumb gently brushing over his knuckles. "always," you echoed.

suguru took a deep breath, his expression softening as he looked down at your hands, your pinkies brushing against each other. and then, slowly, deliberately, he hooked his pinky with yours, a silent promise that transcended words.

“a promise,” he murmured, his voice carrying a quiet resolve. “no matter what happens, we’re in this together. you and me.”

your heart clenched at the simple, yet profound gesture. a promise, not of love in the romantic sense, but of loyalty, of friendship, of everything the two of you had built over the years. no matter how things changed, no matter how life pulled you in different directions, you would always have this.

“a promise,” you whispered back, your pinkies interlocking tightly, sealing the bond you both knew would never fade.

suguru smiled, and this time, it reached his eyes. "i’m happy for you," he said, his voice low but steady. "you deserve this, all of it."

you squeezed his hand gently, holding on for just a little longer. "thank you, suguru. for everything."

his grip tightened, just for a moment, before he let go, the weight of the world lifting off both your shoulders. "go on," he said, nodding toward sukuna, who stood waiting for you at the other side of the room, his gaze fixed on the two of you.

you smiled softly at suguru, giving his hand one last squeeze before turning away. as you walked back to sukuna, you knew that whatever the future held, you and suguru would always share this unbreakable bond. a promise, made with intertwined pinkies and hearts too full of memories to ever forget.

and in the background, as suguru watched you walk away, he felt at peace for the first time in a long time. your happiness was his happiness, even if it meant you were with someone else.

while you spoke quietly with suguru, sukuna found himself in a conversation he didn’t anticipate: a one-on-one with your mother. she was elegant and composed, warm yet casual – a far cry from woman at your new year’s party. she was standing just at the edge of the reception area, sipping on champagne, her eyes fixed on you and suguru.

“mrs. l/n,” sukuna greeted, a surprising softness to his voice as he approached. there was respect in his posture, and though sukuna had built a reputation for being intimidating, he knew when to tread carefully.

she turned toward him, smiling slightly. “ryomen.” her voice was calm, unreadable. she had a presence that reminded sukuna a lot of you — strong, resilient, but there was a gentle warmth beneath the surface. "come to make your case?”

sukuna’s mouth curved into a faint smile. “i think i’ve already made it.”

your mother raised an eyebrow. “have you now? a man like you, with a past like yours, has a lot to prove when it comes to loving my daughter.”

sukuna didn’t flinch. he’d been expecting this. “i do,” he agreed, his voice steady. “and i’m not going to pretend like i haven’t screwed things up in the past. but she knows me — better than anyone. she sees what i’ve become.”

her gaze lingered on him for a moment, thoughtful, weighing. “she does,” she finally said. “and she’s always been a good judge of character. but i’m not worried about her judgment. i’m worried about yours.”

sukuna’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t avert his gaze. “i won’t ever let her down again,” he promised. “i know what she’s been through, and i know what i put her through. but i’ve changed. elysium...everything i’ve done, it’s for her.”

your mother took another sip of her champagne, her eyes softening as she studied him. “i know,” she said quietly, and sukuna’s eyes widened just slightly in surprise. “i’ve seen the changes in you. starting elysium? helping her get back on her feet? it’s not something the old sukuna would’ve done. i’ve seen the way you’ve fought for her.”

sukuna nodded, a rare flicker of vulnerability flashing across his features. “she saved me too,” he admitted, almost reluctantly. “in more ways than i can count. i owe her my life, and i’ll spend the rest of it making sure she never doubts that.”

your mother was silent for a moment, and then she chuckled softly, shaking her head. “you sound like a man in love.”

“i am.” sukuna’s response was instant, no hesitation in his voice. “i love her more than anything.”

“that’s good to hear,” she said, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “because that’s what she deserves. a man who will put her first, who will take care of her, and who will cherish her.”

“i will,” sukuna promised, and there was a fierce determination in his voice. “i’ll protect her. always.”

your mother’s gaze softened further, and she placed a gentle hand on his arm. “then i have no doubts,” she said. “you’ve earned her trust, and now...you have mine.”

sukuna swallowed hard, feeling a strange sense of gratitude well up inside him. “thank you,” he said quietly, his voice rough. “i won’t let you down.”

she nodded, her expression warm, almost motherly. “you’d better not. because if you do, i’ll be the first one at your door.”

sukuna let out a low, appreciative chuckle. “understood, mrs. l/n.”

your mother smiled softly. “you know,” she began, her tone lightening just slightly, “you and i...we both know she’s strong. but even the strongest people need someone to lean on. take care of her, ryomen. don’t just protect her — make her happy.”

he looked at her, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “that’s all i want,” he said. “to keep her mine. to keep her happy.”

there was a moment of quiet understanding between them, and for the first time, sukuna felt the weight of this responsibility in a way he hadn’t before. he wasn’t just marrying you; he was being entrusted with your entire life, your heart, your happiness. and somehow, in that moment, standing there with your mother, he felt worthy of it.

as the sounds of laughter and music filled the hall once more, sukuna took a step back, a rare softness in his eyes. “i’ll make sure she knows every day,” he added, his voice lower now, more personal. “she’s everything to me. and i’ll spend my life proving that.”

your mother smiled once more, her eyes filled with the kind of warmth only a mother could have. “then i’m glad she has you,” she said, giving his arm a gentle squeeze before turning back to the celebration. “welcome to the family, ryomen.”

and as she walked away, sukuna let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. it felt...right. for the first time, he wasn’t the ruthless, business tycoon. he was the man who would spend his life making you happy, keeping you his. he was entrusted with a responsibility that felt almost sacred, and for the first time, he truly believed he was worthy of it.

he turned his head, his eyes catching yours across the room as you held suguru’s hand in a quiet moment of friendship. a promise, not only to suguru, but to yourself, to your mother, to everyone in your life. and sukuna? he would be the man to keep it.

and with that, he allowed himself to feel something he hadn’t in years — a deep, all-consuming sense of peace.

while all the heartfelt conversations were happening elsewhere, yuuji, choso, and uraume were seated together at a table near the back of the reception hall. yuuji had a wide grin on his face, his eyes bright with excitement as he nudged choso with his elbow.

“so, big bro, you’re next in line, right?” yuuji teased, his grin only widening when he saw the unimpressed look on choso’s face.

choso scoffed, rolling his eyes. “please, i can’t even get a full night of sleep, and you’re talking about marriage?”

yuuji, ignoring the deflection, leaned in closer, whispering dramatically, “you’re not getting any younger, bro. you’ll be the one walking down the aisle next! i can feel it.”

“yeah, right,” choso snorted, flicking yuuji’s forehead in retaliation. “you should focus on getting that degree before you start acting like a grandpa, yuuji. you’ve got enough on your plate without playing cupid.”

uraume, who had been sitting quietly, observing the two brothers with their usual composed demeanor, let out an unexpected chuckle at choso’s remark. the sound of uraume laughing — a rare occurrence — caught both yuuji and choso off guard.

“uraume?” yuuji blinked, clearly surprised. “did you just laugh?”

uraume’s expression remained neutral, though their eyes sparkled slightly. “it’s just...you do have a tendency to take on more than you can handle, yuuji. perhaps choso is right. focus on one thing at a time.”

yuuji pouted, crossing his arms. “you guys are ganging up on me! what happened to wedding day joy? isn’t this supposed to be a celebration? and choso, come on, don’t act like you don’t want to settle down!”

choso raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. “who said anything about settling down? you’re getting way ahead of yourself.”

yuuji leaned forward, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously. “so, no blind dates then? i mean, you’ve gotta be thinking about it, right? someone’s gotta sweep you off your feet, choso.”

choso shot him an incredulous look. “blind dates? seriously? i’m not interested in that kind of thing.”

yuuji, ever the instigator, pressed on, “oh, come on! you never know. what if someone amazing is just waiting out there for you? don’t tell me you’re going to be single forever.”

uraume, joining the conversation with their usual calm tone, added, “perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst idea. it’s not as if you’re without prospects.”

choso narrowed his eyes suspiciously at uraume. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“you’re dedicated, reliable,” uraume replied, their tone neutral but pointed. “qualities people find appealing in a partner.”

yuuji jumped in again, clearly enjoying himself. “see? even uraume agrees! and besides, you’d look great all dressed up for a date.”

choso sighed heavily, shaking his head. “this conversation is ridiculous.”

“no, it’s not!” yuuji protested, flashing him a grin. “in fact, i think it’s a great idea. i mean, there are tons of great girls out there. or guys, if that’s more your thing. you just need a little push.”

uraume, surprising them both again, said, “it wouldn’t hurt to consider it, choso. it’s not as though blind dates are binding.”

choso stared at uraume, slightly betrayed. “you too? i thought you were the reasonable one.”

yuuji chuckled, clapping his hands together. “it’s settled then! choso, you’re going on a blind date. we’ll make it happen.”

choso groaned, burying his face in his hands. “this is going to be a disaster.”

but even as he sighed, the corner of his lips twitched up, a small smile betraying his amusement. maybe, just maybe, there was a tiny part of him that didn’t hate the idea after all.

as the reception wound down and the soft buzz of laughter and conversation filled the air, sukuna stood at the center of the room, glass in hand, his piercing eyes scanning the crowd. he had never been one for sentimentality, never a man of soft words or tender moments. but tonight, with you by his side, his wife, and the closest people in his life surrounding him, he couldn’t help but feel something stir deep within. a sense of fulfillment. of family.

he cleared his throat, his voice cutting through the hum of the room. the murmurs died down, and everyone turned to face him, anticipation hanging in the air. the spotlight seemed to cast an almost softer glow around him as he raised his glass higher.

“i don’t do speeches,” he began, his usual gruffness tinged with something softer tonight, “so don’t expect this to be long.”

you stood by his side, smiling up at him, your hand resting gently on his arm. he caught your gaze for a moment, his expression softening as he looked at you — his wife. a title that still felt surreal in the most comforting way possible.

“but today’s a day for firsts, isn’t it?” he said, glancing around the room. “and… hell, i guess i have some things to say.”

his eyes moved to suguru, standing a few steps away with a drink in his hand. the man was quiet, his usual composed face betraying none of the swirling emotions underneath. but sukuna knew. he always knew. suguru, for all his frustration, was a brother in this strange, twisted way. there was a silent understanding between them, a recognition of what they both had — and didn’t have. sukuna nodded in his direction, subtle but meaningful.

“suguru,” sukuna’s voice was almost thoughtful, “you’ve been there for her, longer than i have. i know that. and as much as i hate to admit it, you’re a part of this too. you’re family.” suguru’s eyes flickered with surprise for a brief second, then a faint smile tugged at his lips. he raised his glass back to sukuna, silently acknowledging the unspoken truth between them.

then sukuna’s gaze shifted to yuuji, sitting at a table with choso and uraume, already smiling that bright, goofy smile that had melted through even sukuna’s cold exterior over the years. yuuji, the kid who without even trying, became one of the few people he cared for.

“and yuuji,” sukuna smirked slightly, “you’ve been annoying as hell, but you’re also one of the best things that’s happened to me.” yuuji’s eyes widened at the unexpected compliment, his grin growing even wider as he nodded enthusiastically, looking like he might burst into tears at any second. “you’ve made things… fun.”

next, choso — the quiet brother, always standing in the background, but never unnoticed. sukuna’s eyes met his, and the two of them shared a look of understanding. they were alike in many ways, silent protectors who spoke more with their actions than with words.

“choso,” sukuna said, his voice dropping just slightly, “you’ve been a steady hand in this chaos we call life. a brother in more ways than one. don’t let yuuji drag you into anything stupid.”

choso chuckled softly, shaking his head as he lifted his glass, his lips quirking into a rare smile. “i’ll try,” he muttered under his breath.

then there was uraume, standing stoically off to the side, watching the entire scene with their usual calm detachment. but sukuna knew better. uraume had been there from the beginning, loyal to a fault, and though they didn’t show it, he knew they cared deeply for him and you. they’d become more than just his right hand; they’d become a confidant, a guardian of his family.

“uraume,” sukuna said, his tone firm but warm, “you’ve always had my back. i don’t say this often, but thank you. for everything.” uraume’s gaze softened just slightly, their lips pressing into a thin line as they gave a small nod, no words needed between them.

then, sukuna’s eyes found yours again, and for a moment, the entire room faded into the background. it was just you and him. the woman who had turned his life upside down, who had dragged him into something so terrifying, so real, that he had no choice but to embrace it. love.

“and you,” sukuna said, his voice softening in a way that only you got to hear, “you’ve made me better, even when i didn’t want to be. i can’t promise that i’ll always be good at this. at… us. but i’ll try. i’ll always try for you.”

your heart swelled at his words, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. you squeezed his arm gently, whispering, “that’s all i need.”

finally, sukuna turned to your mother, who had been watching the entire scene with a knowing smile. she had always been wary of him, and rightfully so. but now, as she looked at him, there was something like approval in her eyes. sukuna met her gaze with a rare vulnerability, bowing his head slightly in respect.

“i know i’m not the son-in-law you imagined,” sukuna said, his voice gruff again but filled with sincerity, “but i’ll take care of her. of them. i swear it.”

your mother’s smile grew, and she raised her glass in return, her voice soft but firm. “i know you will, sukuna. you’ve proven that already.”

sukuna straightened, his chest swelling with a strange sense of pride. it wasn’t often he sought anyone’s approval, but hers meant something. it meant that he’d truly earned his place in your life, in your family.

he took a deep breath, looking around the room one last time, taking in the faces of the people who mattered most to him. “so, here’s to family,” he said, raising his glass high, his voice steady, “the one we’re born into, and the one we make.”

the room erupted into cheers, glasses clinking together as everyone raised their drinks in a toast. the warmth of the moment enveloped the space, a full-circle moment for everyone who had been part of the journey.

as the night went on, you and sukuna stole a quiet moment together, standing at the edge of the dance floor, watching your friends and family laughing and celebrating. sukuna wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him, his lips brushing against your ear.

“i love you,” he whispered, the words so soft that only you could hear them.

you smiled, leaning into him as you whispered back, “i love you too.”

and as you stood there, surrounded by the people who had become your family, you realized that this — all of it — was exactly where you were meant to be.

as the night drew to a close, you and sukuna bid your final goodbyes to your guests. suguru gave you a lingering smile, squeezing your hand in reassurance as his pinky briefly locked with yours. yuuji’s eyes shimmered with happy tears as he waved you off enthusiastically, and choso smiled, nodding in your direction. uraume gave you a small, stiff bow — their way of showing warmth. sukuna grunted in his usual fashion, a goodbye only he could pull off with such weight behind it.

you walked together, hand in hand, toward the hotel, the stars shimmering above like they were celebrating the night alongside you. once inside, you gasped dramatically, your hand flying to your chest in mock surprise as you stepped into your hotel suite. the room was nothing short of breathtaking — pure opulence. tall, floor-to-ceiling windows gave a panoramic view of the city’s skyline, sparkling against the deep midnight blue of the night. the room itself was decorated in warm tones of gold and cream, plush sofas, thick velvet curtains, and a massive bed adorned with silk sheets that looked almost too perfect to touch. a bottle of champagne sat chilled on a nearby table, along with rose petals that scattered elegantly across the floor.

"wow," you breathed out, eyes wide as you took it all in, "uraume really pulled out all the stops, huh."

before you could say more, you felt strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you back into a firm, familiar chest. sukuna's low, gruff chuckle rumbled behind you as he hugged you tightly, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“uraume?” he muttered into your ear, his breath warm against your skin. “woman, i’ll have you know i arranged this all by myself.” his voice was filled with a playful arrogance, and you couldn’t help but smile at the pride in his tone.

he shifted slightly, pressing his lips to your cheek in a soft, fleeting kiss before his teeth grazed your skin. “going to be spending the night with my wife,” he punctuated the title with a teasing nibble, and you couldn’t hold back the squeal that escaped your lips, laughter bubbling out of you as his grip tightened.

“sukuna!” you giggled, trying to wriggle free from his hold, but he wasn’t having it. with a mischievous glint in his eye, he scooped you up effortlessly, your legs kicking lightly in the air as he spun you around toward the bed.

“oh no, you’re not getting away that easily,” he smirked, carrying you over to the bed as you laughed uncontrollably in his arms. the playfulness, the warmth between you two, filled the room, making it feel less like a grand hotel suite and more like the cozy heart of your new life together.

as sukuna laid you down gently on the bed, you looked up at him, his smirk softening into something more tender, more real. for all his arrogance, all his sharp edges, tonight was a reminder that he was yours. and you were his.

“my wife,” he repeated, softer this time, brushing a strand of hair from your face before he leaned down, his lips capturing yours in a slow, lingering kiss.

you both fell back onto the bed, lying side by side in a quiet, comfortable silence. neither of you felt the need to rush into anything; just being there, together, was enough for now. staring up at the ceiling, you let out a small sigh, your fingers lightly grazing the silk sheets beneath you.

"so," you broke the silence, your voice soft, "i’ve been meaning to ask you about the tattoos on your face.”

sukuna turned his head slightly to glance at you, one brow raising in that signature way of his. “what about them?”

“well, i was just wondering... what’s the story behind them?”

he scoffed, rolling his eyes as if dismissing the question. “bad high school decision. don’t overthink it,” he muttered, his voice nonchalant.

you giggled, not entirely convinced by his answer, and that’s when something clicked in your head. you turned your face to him, curiosity in your eyes. “wait a minute… choso has a similar marking on his nose. is that connected, too?”

sukuna smirked, his gaze flicking to the ceiling again. “yeah, same thing. it’s a tradition of sorts. something we did back then. me, choso.. thought it’d make us look tough or whatever.”

“and did it?” you asked, teasingly.

“hell yeah,” he answered, though there was a playful glint in his eyes that told you he was amused by the memory.

you couldn’t help but laugh lightly, the sound filling the room. “so what other bad decisions did you make, mister tough guy?”

he turned to you again, this time with a sly smile on his lips. there was a brief pause before he replied, his voice lower, softer. “you.”

you blinked in surprise, and before you could react, he added with a smirk, “but you’re the best bad decision i’ve ever made.”

your heart fluttered at his words, a warm feeling spreading through your chest. you knew it was sukuna’s way of expressing something deeper — his own version of affection. there was something about how he framed it, how he spoke with such a bluntness that always left you feeling more seen, more known, than anyone else could make you feel.

you playfully nudged him with your elbow. “you’re such an idiot.”

he chuckled, a rare sound from him, before his hand found yours, interlocking your fingers as you both lay there, side by side. the silence that followed wasn’t awkward but peaceful, the two of you lost in thought, yet somehow connected in the most intimate of ways.

as the minutes ticked by, you found yourself smiling, your eyes growing heavier, feeling safe and loved. you had never imagined this life — the twists, the turns, the bad decisions that led you here. but lying next to sukuna, his hand in yours, you couldn’t help but think it was all worth it.

because sometimes, the best decisions come from the worst ones.

you burst into laughter, the sound echoing through the lavish hotel room as sukuna, ever the provocateur, leaned in closer, his body caging you against the soft pillows.

“if you tell me you’ve had sex with someone before me, i’ll be pissed off,” he declared, his tone half-serious, half-teasing.

your eyes widened in mock shock, a playful grin spreading across your face. “sukuna!” you gasped, unable to suppress your laughter. “how could you even ask that?”

“what?” he replied, his voice smooth and mischievous. “just trying to gauge my competition here.”

you wriggled beneath him, your heart racing as his weight pressed gently against you. “there’s no competition! you’re the one i chose!”

“you better mean that,” he said, his expression turning momentarily serious, the playful glint in his eyes still dancing there. “because if you’ve got a whole list of guys i should be worried about —”

“i swear, it’s only ever been you,” you interrupted, your laughter subsiding as you looked into his eyes, the sincerity of your words hanging in the air between you. “i’m not even kidding.”

his lips curved into a smirk, a sense of triumph washing over him. “good. just remember that,” he said, leaning down, his breath warm against your skin. “you’re mine, and i’m not sharing.”

“not that i’d want to,” you murmured, your pulse quickening as his gaze bore into yours. the playful banter hung between you like a delicate thread, both of you enjoying the sweet tension that filled the air.

“smart choice,” he teased, and in a moment of spontaneity, he dipped his head to press a teasing kiss to your lips, his hands framing your face as he pulled back to gauge your reaction.

your cheeks flushed, the laughter from before transforming into something deeper, more intimate. “you’re such a dork,” you said, shaking your head at him, but there was no malice in your words — just affection.

“your dork,” he corrected, grinning. “and don’t forget it.”

sukuna shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow to look at you more intently. “you sure you want to continue on with this?” he asked, his tone a mix of teasing and genuine concern. “i don’t want to push you if you’re tired.”

you couldn’t help but chuckle at his unexpected display of care. “is that really you, ryomen sukuna, asking if i’m okay?” you teased, raising an eyebrow. “i never took you for the caring type.”

he scoffed, an amused smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “don’t get used to it, woman. it’s just common courtesy,” he replied, rolling his eyes dramatically. “besides, someone has to make sure you’re not passing out on me.”

you giggled, enjoying the banter as much as the moment itself. “common courtesy, huh? i didn’t realize you had such a soft spot.”

“soft spot?” he repeated, feigning offense as he leaned closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “i’ll have you know that i’m a very tough guy.”

“sure you are,” you said with a playful roll of your eyes, leaning back against the pillows and crossing your arms. “but it’s nice to see this side of you. who knew you could be so… sweet?”

“don’t push it,” he warned, though the hint of a smile remained on his face, clearly enjoying the teasing. “you might just ruin my tough guy reputation.”

“oh, please,” you replied, grinning back at him. “you’ll always be the tough guy. this is just a little added bonus.”

“bonus, huh?” he mused, his expression shifting into something more serious for a moment. “well, just know that i can be tough when it counts. but for you? i can make an exception.”

your heart warmed at his words, a soft silence enveloping you both as you contemplated the depth behind them. sukuna’s gaze held yours, the playful edge now tinged with something deeper, and you could feel the shift in the air around you.

“so, what’s it gonna be?” he asked, breaking the silence with a hint of mischief. “are you ready to keep going, or do you need a nap?”

“i’m definitely ready,” you said, your voice steady and confident. “let’s see just how caring you can be, sukuna.”

he chuckled, his eyes glinting with that familiar spark. “challenge accepted.”

sukuna’s cocky facade didn’t quite match the awkwardness of his hands, the way his fingers grazed over your skin with hesitation, like he was trying to remember the motions. it was unlike him to be so uncertain, and the clumsiness in his movements had you biting your lip to keep from laughing.

“sukuna,” you teased softly, glancing up at him with a warm smile, “you don’t have to be so shy, you know.”

his brow furrowed in an attempt to stay composed, but the corner of his mouth twitched, betraying him. “shut up, woman,” he huffed, his voice gruff, “i know what i’m doing.” the confidence was there, but you could feel the subtle tremor in his touch. his grip was firm, yet careful — an odd mixture of control and restraint.

he wasn’t used to this. not with you. not with someone who mattered.

you felt a sense of tenderness for him in that moment, seeing him vulnerable like this. his tough exterior was crumbling, piece by piece. “you can touch me, you know,” you whispered, offering him the reassurance he didn’t ask for but clearly needed.

“‘m getting to it,” he practically barked, frustration lacing his voice as if he were trying to convince himself more than you. your giggle slipped out, and though it earned a glare from him, there was no real bite behind it. it was adorable — watching the all-powerful ryomen sukuna struggle with something so simple.

he fumbled with the fabric of your dress, clearly annoyed. “stupid dress gettin’ in the way,” he muttered, gripping it with one of his large hands, bunching it up to reveal your legs. the cool air hit your skin, and instinctively, you pressed your thighs together, a wave of self-consciousness creeping in.

the sound that left sukuna’s throat was a deep, low growl. “don’t hide yourself,” he ordered, his voice rough but lacking malice. he wasn’t used to this — having to make someone feel safe — but the sincerity in his words made you relax just a little.

“i know, but it’s still kinda weird —” you began, your voice soft.

“it’s only weird if you make it weird,” he grumbled, clearly fumbling for something reassuring to say, though the way he said it was anything but delicate. you could tell he was out of his element, but the effort was there, and that was enough to make your heart swell.

he paused, his gaze locking with yours for a long moment. there was something in his eyes, a softness that didn’t fit the man everyone else saw. “you sure you wanna do this?” sukuna’s voice was quieter this time, carrying a weight of concern that wasn’t typical of him.

“of course i want to!” you blurted out, a bit too fast, and his lips twitched into a grin before a low, genuine laugh bubbled up from his chest. it was rare to hear him laugh like that — so unguarded — and it made your heart skip a beat. your own embarrassment melted away, replaced by the warmth of the moment.

“then who am i to deny my wife what she wants?” he said, his tone light but filled with affection. the word “wife” rolled off his tongue with such ease, but the meaning behind it was still sinking in for both of you.

you grinned, shaking your head at his smugness. “you’ll never get tired of saying that, will you?”

“never,” sukuna replied without hesitation, his grin wide and proud as he unbuckled his belt and tossed his suit jacket aside, the movements more confident now. but there was still that tenderness in his actions — a stark contrast to his usual demeanor.

as he leaned in to kiss you, the rest of the world faded away. the moment was just for the two of you. despite the teasing, despite the clumsiness, there was a sense of reverence in the way sukuna touched you—a reverence that made you feel like you were the most important person in his world. this wasn’t just about passion or desire. it was about trust, about sharing something real.

and as he kissed you again, you realized that for all of his roughness, all of his pride, sukuna was holding you like you were his most precious possession. like you were the best decision he had ever made.

he pulled back, his lips hovering just above yours, his breath warm against your skin. “you’re the best bad decision i’ve ever made,” he murmured, the words almost too soft for someone like him. but they were raw, honest.

your chest fluttered, the weight of his admission settling in. with a soft laugh, you reached up, brushing a hand against his jaw. “well, if that’s the case, i guess i’m happy to be your worst one.”

he smirked, leaning into your touch. “yeah? good. ‘cause you’re stuck with me now, woman.”

and for once, you didn’t mind the idea of being stuck at all.

the two of you lay bare before each other, the air thick with anticipation. there was a vulnerability in the moment that hadn’t been there before, an unspoken trust that made your heart race.

“‘kuna,” you breathed out, voice soft but filled with a hint of playfulness, “help me take the veil off —"

“nah,” sukuna interrupted with a devilish grin, his sharp eyes raking over your body. “looks sexy,” he added, pulling you closer to him, his large hands pressing against your back, making the warmth of his skin meld into yours. you could feel the strength in his hold, but there was a gentleness there too, a reverence in how he handled you.

the contrast between his rough personality and the care he took with you was striking, leaving you feeling both vulnerable and cherished all at once. his fingers traced over your skin, teasing but careful, as if he was savoring every second.

“you ready?” sukuna asked, his voice low, a rumble that sent shivers down your spine.

“born ready — oh shit, not ready!” you gasped out, voice shooting up in surprise at the sudden sensation between your legs, the shock of his intrusion making your body react instinctively as you scrambled to hold onto his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin.

his chuckle rumbled against your chest, though his brows furrowed in a mix of focus and concern. “shit, sorry,” he muttered, grunting softly as he forced himself to slow down, his voice laced with restraint. “just hold on, okay? it gets better.”

you nodded, your breath catching in your throat as the initial shock settled. “mm, o-okay,” you whined softly, trying to adjust, the tension in your body easing as you pressed your forehead against his. sukuna’s lips ghosted over your temple, his breath hot as he whispered a mixture of praise and reassurance.

“that’s it... you’re doin’ good,” he rasped, his voice gruff but tender, the way he spoke to you making your heart melt despite the intensity of the moment. his hands stayed steady on your hips, holding you close, grounding you. “just relax… i’ve got you.”

you breathed out shakily, your fingers clutching his shoulders, feeling the warmth of his skin under your palms. despite the rough exterior, despite the teasing, sukuna was holding you with care. his usual bravado faded as he focused entirely on you, the rhythm of his movements slow and deliberate, making sure you were with him every step of the way.

“you okay?” he asked, his voice quieter now, almost vulnerable in its tone, the way his eyes searched yours for any sign of discomfort.

“yeah,” you whispered, feeling the sincerity in his concern. “yeah, i’m okay.”

his smirk returned, just a little softer this time. “good… ‘cause i’m not gonna stop now,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss you, sealing his words with a touch that was as possessive as it was tender.

“sukuna, slow down!” you squealed, the sudden intensity making your body jolt.

he let out a deep, rough laugh, voice strained, but dripping with cockiness. “can’t. fuckin’. slow. down,” he growled, each word punctuated with a particularly harsh movement that made you grip onto him tighter. it wasn’t enough to hurt, but enough to push you to your limit, sending shockwaves through your body.

“safe word is you slapping me,” sukuna panted out, his breath hot and heavy against your ear as he thrust into you, the sensation overwhelming.

“slap you?” you echoed, trying to make sense of his words as you fought against the fogginess clouding your mind. your voice wavered between disbelief and amusement as you clung onto him for dear life, barely able to form coherent thoughts with how his body was taking over your senses.

he grunted in response, his grip on your hips tightening as he pulled you closer, hips moving with a reckless pace that made your breath hitch. “’m dead serious,” he groaned. “slap me on the face if you want me to stop.”

“that’s just gonna make you wanna go more!” you whined, your words slurring slightly as the pleasure built higher, threatening to send you over the edge.

his lips twisted into a grin, his dark eyes glinting with amusement. “hm, touch��,” he chuckled, the sound of his voice sending another wave of heat through you. his grin never faltered, even as he leaned down, pressing a rough kiss against your lips, muffling the moan that escaped you.

“guess we’ll just have to keep going,” sukuna teased, his breath ragged but full of challenge. the way his hands roamed your body, how he seemed to know exactly how far he could push you — it was intoxicating, overwhelming in the best way. and as you tangled your fingers in his hair, holding on, you knew there was no stopping now.

sukuna’s breath hitched as his movements became erratic, that cocky confidence of his faltering just a bit. “you know i really fuckin’ love you, right?” he panted out between rough breaths, his voice heavy with emotion, though still dripping with that signature arrogance.

“yeah, i can tell,” you gasped out breathlessly, an airy laugh escaping your lips despite the intensity of the moment. the way he had you pinned against him, completely overwhelmed by his strength and the rough tenderness in his movements, left no room for doubt. he had a way of making even the filthiest declarations sound almost sweet.

“good... just wanted to — fuck — m-make sure,” sukuna stammered, a crack in his usual composure as his voice grew rougher. his body was betraying him, the familiar hot pull of release starting to pool in his belly, and he was losing control quicker than he wanted to admit.

you could feel the change in him — the way his grip on you tightened, the way his breathing grew even more ragged, the urgency in every movement. “'kuna, are you —”

“let me focus!” sukuna cut you off with a strained grunt, his brows furrowing as he struggled to hold onto his composure. his hands tightened around your hips, pulling you even closer, burying himself deeper as his control slipped more and more. the desperation in his tone was almost endearing, in a very sukuna way — he was trying so hard to maintain that cocky, cool front, but the way he was clinging to you, the way his body trembled slightly, gave him away.

you couldn’t help but smirk through the haze of pleasure, your own body shaking as you ran your hands down his back, holding him just as tight. “need help focusing?” you teased, your voice barely above a whisper, still trying to catch your breath as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, groaning lowly in response.

“you think you're so funny,” he huffed against your skin, his breath warm and heavy, his teeth grazing lightly over your pulse as his pace quickened, losing himself in you. “gonna be even funnier when i’m done with you…”

his threat was empty, but the way he was holding onto you, the raw need and affection behind each ragged breath, each movement, made you feel like you were all he ever needed. the world outside faded, and it was just the two of you, tangled in each other, hearts pounding in sync.

sukuna’s voice came out in a strangled groan, his grip on your hips tightening to the point of bruising as his control began to slip completely. “can i — oh fuck — inside?” his voice cracked, a rare show of vulnerability that made your heart race faster than it already was.

“y-yeah, just —” you gasped, your fingers digging into his shoulders, “just do it quick, i don’t think i  can — ah — hold on long.”

he grunted in response, his forehead pressed against yours as his eyes fluttered shut, trying so hard to keep it together, but failing miserably. “yeah, i know, i gotch — oh fuck, y/n…” he choked out, his entire body trembling as he felt you clench around him, pulling him deeper, and the way you were responding to him wasn’t helping his already fraying composure. “you’re not making this e-easier f’me,” he practically whimpered, his usual gruffness nowhere to be found now.

he was unraveling. completely.

“just let it happen, ‘kuna,” you whispered, breathless, the nickname rolling off your tongue in a way that sent shivers down his spine. and that was all it took. the sound of his name, the way you said it — so raw, so intimate — was the final straw.

“fuck — y/n,” he grunted, his voice breaking as his hips slammed into yours, his pace becoming erratic, desperate. he buried his face in your neck, teeth grazing your skin as his body tensed, shaking against you. the heat of him, the way he was holding you like he was afraid to let go — it made everything feel overwhelming, and you could feel yourself teetering right there on the edge too.

“‘kuna —” you moaned, your own body shuddering, your nails dragging down his back as you reached your peak, and the way you cried out his name sent him spiraling.

“shit,” sukuna choked out one last time, his whole body jerking as he finally let go, spilling into you with a groan that was both relief and overwhelming intensity. his grip on you tightened, like you were his anchor, grounding him as he rode out his high, shuddering against you, his chest heaving with each ragged breath.

for a moment, neither of you moved. just the sound of your heavy breathing filled the room, the only sign of life. sukuna was still holding you close, his face pressed into your neck, the sweat on his skin cooling as the adrenaline slowly ebbed away. his body was heavy on top of yours, but it felt comforting, reassuring, like he didn’t want to let you go.

“fuck…” he muttered, still panting, his voice hoarse, but there was something almost tender in it, as if he couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. “you okay?”

you nodded weakly, a small, breathless laugh escaping your lips. “i’m more than okay, ‘kuna.” you squeezed his shoulders lightly, your hands tracing slow patterns on his skin, both of you still wrapped in the aftermath of the moment.

“best bad decision i ever made,” he muttered, a lazy grin spreading across his face as he kissed the side of your neck, his voice rough, but so warm now, so content.

“you’ll never get tired of saying that, will you?” you teased, echoing your earlier words, your heart swelling with affection as you held him close.

“never,” he grinned, his lips brushing yours in a slow, languid kiss, filled with everything he couldn’t quite put into words. “not when it’s true.”

“now, about that round two…” “sukuna!”

epilogue.

“so how’s —?” choso’s voice filters through the phone, casual but carrying the weight of a thousand unspoken thoughts.

“my wife? she’s good,” sukuna replies, a soft chuckle escaping as he glances at the photo wall in front of him, the space having blossomed with new memories. there’s the photo from your wedding, the two of you looking surprisingly at ease, captured in a rare, tender moment. next to it, the maternity shoot where you glowed with happiness, cradling your growing belly. and then the grainy image, snapped by yuuji, of you in the hospital ward holding your newborn. sukuna’s own figure, absent in the frame, was a choice — he had turned away, pretending to be too occupied with something else while tears pricked his eyes.

as his gaze moves across the wall, he finds himself smiling at the other photos: uraume, holding your child awkwardly, their expression uncharacteristically soft as your baby girl beamed at them. another picture shows suguru, his grimace exaggerated as your daughter gleefully yanked at his hair while riding on his shoulders, her tiny hands gripping his locks with innocent mischief. and there’s one of yuuji and choso, each kissing your daughter’s cheeks, her laugh caught perfectly mid-giggle. each photo, a snapshot of love, family, and time.

he still can’t believe he’s come this far, that he’s standing in front of a wall filled with memories of a family he never thought he’d have. it used to be a word that left a bitter taste in his mouth, something he rejected. but now? now it feels…right.

“you should get her over to our home sometime. it’s been a while since the two — i mean, three of you have come over,” choso’s voice echoes through the phone, pulling sukuna back to the moment.

sukuna chuckles softly at the slip. it’s still taking everyone, including his own brother, time to adjust to the idea that ryomen sukuna — the feared, ruthless business tycoon— is now a father. a father to a beautiful baby girl named aiko ryomen y/l/n. she looked so much like you, but that smirk — the one that mirrored his own — was unmistakable, even at just a year old. she had his fire, his intensity, but you tempered it with your warmth, creating a perfect balance that he never knew he needed.

“only when you get your girl,” sukuna teases, his voice lighter than it used to be.

“deal,” choso replies, amusement lacing his words.

“deal,” sukuna echoes, his smile lingering long after the call ends.

as he tucks his phone into his pocket, sukuna’s gaze moves across the wall of photos, his eyes fall on the most recent addition, one that stands out among the rest — a family photo taken just last month. it’s larger than the others, framed carefully and placed in the center of the collection.

in the photo, you’re holding aiko, who’s perched on your hip, her tiny hands gripping your arm with that signature smirk plastered across her chubby face. you’re smiling, your expression soft and warm, the love for your family evident in your eyes. standing beside you is sukuna, his arm resting casually on your shoulder, a slight smile on his face — barely noticeable, but it’s there, a glimpse of the man who hides his tenderness behind walls of cold arrogance.

beside him, uraume stands stiffly, as they always do, but there’s something softer in their expression, their usual rigid posture relaxed as they hold aiko’s hand gently. choso and yuuji stand next to them, both leaning in with matching wide smiles, yuuji making a peace sign with his fingers while choso, ever the protector, stands with a hand on yuuji’s shoulder. and then there’s suguru, who stands on the other side of you, his eyes crinkled with amusement as he looks down at aiko, who’s trying to reach for his hair — again.

it’s a chaotic picture, mismatched smiles and personalities blending together into something that feels almost surreal. a family — his family. the word rings in his mind as he stares at the photo, and for a moment, sukuna is overwhelmed. he never imagined this would be his life, that the ruthless, feared man he once was could stand among these people and feel…content. happy, even.

he used to think of himself as a lone wolf, someone who didn’t need or want anyone. but now, looking at this photo, he realizes how wrong he was. these people — each of them — have become a part of his world, his family, in ways he never thought possible.

his hand grazes the edge of the frame as he lets out a deep breath, his chest tightening with a mix of emotions he can barely name. gratitude, love, maybe even fear — fear of losing this, of somehow screwing it all up. but for once in his life, he pushes those thoughts away. he lets himself just be in this moment, soaking in the quiet joy that this family has brought him.

he doesn’t have to be perfect. he doesn’t have to have all the answers. he just has to be here — with you, with aiko, with everyone he cares about. and that, somehow, is enough.

turning away from the wall, sukuna leans against the window, staring out at the cityscape beyond. his heart, once so guarded, so hardened, feels lighter now, softer in a way he never thought possible.

it wasn’t easy to get here. there were fights, broken moments, regrets that lingered in the corners of his mind. but in the end, you stood by him. you saw past his flaws, his anger, his mistakes, and chose to love him anyway.

and he knows now — this is what life is about. it’s messy, chaotic, imperfect. but it’s real. and it’s his.

he turns back to the photo wall, his eyes lingering on the image of you and aiko, surrounded by the people who have become his family, and he smiles — a rare, genuine smile that only you have ever seen.

“all you need is a little bit of love in the mix,” he murmurs to himself, your words from years ago echoing in his mind.

and maybe, just maybe, that’s the truth he needed all along.

as the sun begins to set, casting a golden light across the room, sukuna stands there, feeling the weight of everything and nothing all at once. he has his family, his love, his life. and for the first time in a long, long time, he feels at peace.

fin.

while you're here, why not check out some fun facts about persephone that didn't make it to the final cut? ;D the "slap me" safe word with sukuna was inspired by @webism's kinktober post, make sure to check it out <3 produced by creamflix on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, modify, repost — support your writers by liking and reblogging. ♡ banners by cafekitsune

[xlpoww]

So Highschool

cheeks pink in the twinkling lights

@acupnoodle asked: Hii! If requests are open could I get a zoro and reader fic where she gets really drunk and is all clingy over zoro?? Maybe geeking over his earrings ,swords and his arms? Maybe she ends up falling asleep on his lap/shoulder and hes really flustered and everyones teasing him?

opla! Zoro x F! Reader

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i know it's a little lateee, but i hope it's enjoyed nonetheless <3 season 2 hype!! only dipping my toes back into writng, so it's not as long as i'd hoped! now that it's summer i hope to be able to post again, i missed it, and thank you to everyone who still liked and commented on everything even in my absence, to have my works be so loved, to still be getting requests to this day. it's a wonderful feeling.

You’ve had too much to drink, that much is evident to anyone with a functioning brain. All wobbly and full of giggles, you’re far too intoxicated to have the sense to shut your mouth. The concept of personal space was lost on your foggy consciousness, leaning your full weight on the green haired man on your right. His mouth was tilted into a smirk, the beer he was nursing far less interesting than the girl at his side.

“Mmm, Zor, Your arms are so strong.” The end of your sentence is punctuated by a giggle, and your hands wrapping around his bicep. Zoro’s eyes widened in surprise and a heat began to fall over his cheeks, suddenly this situation was less amusing and more flustering(not like he would ever admit that). Another giggle has him angling his eyes towards you, unprepared as you reach your hand up to run a finger over his earlobe. “And I reallyyyyy like your earrings.” “Thank you (y/n).” 

The mug of beer in his hand was placed beside him, his other hand reaching to guide your own away from his ear. When he tries to pull away you latch on, a whine leaving your lips. His cheeks set alight at the sound, wide eyes staring into your own sparkling ones.

“I think you’re really cool, didya know that Zor?” You’re tugging him closer, glowing in the night, electrifying the air with every word. 

��No, I don’t think I did.”

cuz i

“Well, you are. Obviously.”

feel so highschool

“And what makes you say that exactly?”

everytime

“You can use three swords! That’s soooooo cooooool.…”

i look at you

With every sentence you inched forward, and Zoro had no idea what he was supposed to do. You were very obviously intoxicated, did you even have a full grasp on anything you were saying? 

He didn't even understand the racing of his own heart. He wasn’t in any sort of danger, but the adrenaline pumping through him was so intense, he couldn’t think of a time his heart had ever beat so fast.

“(Y/n), wait-” before he could even finish his sentence, your eyes had slipped shut and you’d slumped over onto him. Soft snores left your mouth, had you really just fallen asleep like that? (not like Zoro was in any position to comment on someone’s sleeping habits).

Somehow he was at even more of a loss, there was a drunken girl passed out in his lap. How do you even deal with this. A cackling from across the deck draws his attention, ussop has his hands over hsi stomach belly laughing as the rest of the crew snickers alongside him.

“Nice job Mosshead, way to put the lady to sleep.” Sanji speaks up, which makes usopp laugh even harder.

“Both of them are hopeless.” Nami sighs, crossing her arms in disapproval of your own actions. The crew would never let you live it down, no doubt in her mind you’d wake up incredibly embarrassed. 

Zoro glares at them, placing a hand over your ear in an attempt to keep you from waking. (Unbeknownst to him, nothing could have woken you from the deep sleep you had fallen into).

With a sigh he reaches back for the mug he’d originally been holding, taking a swig before glancing down at you. There was a softness to your face, and somehow even in your sleep you still smiled so beautifully. His heart softens at the thought, the hand over your ear reaching to tenderly stroke your cheek. He quickly returns it to its original position after a whistle from Luffy, turning away to glare over the side of the ship in embarrassment.

but look at you.

[floating-mid-air]

The Princess of all Saiyans

-

Masterlist

-

Welcome back everyone. And welcome to anyone new. I'm back… yet again. New year… I won't say it again. I jinxed myself last year. As always, DM's/Comments are always open if you have any comments, questions, or concerns. I'd also like to thank everyone for the constant support. It means a lot.

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Chapter 16

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Gohan rushes over to your side with Krillin in tow. "Wow, Y/N. You really held your own against Frieza. I'm impressed." Krillin praises you.

"Ya, it was so cool!" Gohan exclaims. "I had no idea you were that strong."

"And talk about that transformation." Krillin continues to fawn over your brief display of abilities. "It was unreal."

"I lost." You scowl at the pair in disgust. You swear there's something psychologically wrong with them. This isn't the first time you've seen them praise failure. It's one of their many odd behaviors that you've managed to observe.

Kakarot and Frieza stand mere inches apart, sizing each other up. You never thought this day would come. You've been reduced to nothing more than one of Kakarot's accessories. You feel ill. Piccolo turns to the others, a hint of concern in his voice. "All four of us need to get out of here and go somewhere safe. Quickly."

Gohan and Krillin nod at the Namekian. "Get him, dad! Make him pay for what he did!" It's kinda cute how much the boy admires his father. In a way, it reminds you of the way Vegeta was with your own. Obviously, your brother was far less endearing.

Now, you all stand much farther away. Well, the other three stand. You don't have the energy. Damn, going Super Saiyan is a real energy drainer. "I'm quite surprised." Frieza chuckles with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"And why's that?" Goku asks.

"I've never seen Y/N so fond of someone before." Frieza's gaze jumps from you to Kakarot. "Lord knows Jeice tried."

"That weird little red guy?" Goku looks back, his eyes locking on you. You meet his gaze, glaring daggers at him. "I don't think she likes me that much." He chuckles, turning back to Frieza.

"I differ. Not even her precious Raditz would've gotten away with a stunt like that. I'm surprised she even allowed you to hold her."

"What are they talking about?" Gohan turns to Krillin, who just shrugs. Piccolo, however, has a faint smirk dancing on his lips. You've heard that Namkeians have a heightened sense of hearing. So whatever Frieza and that buffoon are discussing, it must be amusing enough to put a momentary pause on the Namkeian's brooding.

The epic battle between Goku and Frieza begins. They trade blows back and forth, creating rubble across the terrain as they go. You want nothing more than to watch Kakarot wipe the floor with that monster, but you're struggling. You can barely keep your eyes open. So much has happened today. You're both physically and mentally drained. "Y/N?" Gohan turns to you. "Are you alright?"

"Never better." You faintly grin at him.

"Maybe we should get her back to the ship." Krillin looks at Gohan skeptically.

"Touch me, and you won't have to worry about Frieza. I'll end you myself." Krillin gulps, diverting his gaze back onto the battlefield. Even injured, the human is still terrified of you. It's comforting.

Frieza manages to get the upper hand on Goku, knocking the Saiyan into the water. Far too much time for comfort passes. Something's off. You try to focus on his energy, yet you come up flat. You must be weaker than you thought. Maybe Kakarot came up somewhere else? Adrenaline kicks in. You hop up onto your feet without a second thought. "You shouldn't be standing!" The brat scolds you, rushing to your side. "You're too weak."

"This isn't right," Krillin mutters. "Goku should've come up for air by now."

"He's fine. I've been tracking his energy." Gohan assures him as he supports your weight, desperately trying to get you to sit back down. "You heard that right, Y/N. My dad is fine. You don't need to worry about him, alright."

"I'm not worried about Kakarot." You scoff. "If your idiot father insists on getting himself killed, so be it."

"You don't have to say it. I know you care. If you didn't, you would've left already." You grimace, your eyes locking back onto the water. If Kakarot's still under there, he must have a plan. But then again, it's Kakarot. From what you've been able to understand, his plans don't ever seem to have much consistency.

What the hell? The large body of water begins to illuminate. You're not very familiar with Namek's aquatic life, but you're pretty sure none of the creatures here glow. Three balls of energy shoot out of the water. Collectively striking Frieza and knocking him down. Wow. Kakarot may be smarter than you give him credit for. Though you'd never say that to his face. 

However, Frieza isn't down for long, quickly jumping back onto his feet. With ease Frieza, lifts a boulder the size of a small island. He tosses the rock into the air, shooting it straight at Goku. The Saiyan manages to catch it. But struggles with the sheer mass of the bolder. He's pushed into another mountain, trapping him between the terrain.

Not even a second passes before Goku shoots a beam, the rock fracturing around him. Allowing the man to easily escape. "You fell for it!" Frieza laughs manically.

Frieza's trapped Kakarot in some sort of bubble. You didn't know the freak had an ability like that. He kicks Goku back and forth as if he was a ball. You'd probably find this situation amusing if this was anyone other than Frieza. The pair continue to go back and forth, causing the whole planet to shake.

The winds pick up, causing their audience to be blown back. You and Piccolo managed to maintain your center of gravity, but the other two went flying. Krillin grabs onto a tree, and Piccolo grabs Gohan by the fabric of his attire. "They're causing an earthquake?" Krillin shouts, clinging onto the tree for dear life.

"But we're not on Earth... so is it still called an earthquake? Maybe it's called a namekquake?" Gohan chuckles.

"I don't think the technicalities really matter right now, Gohan!" Krllin tightens his grip. "Especially if we all die!" The planet stills, causing Krillin to land flat on his face. You laugh at his incompetence. How the hell has he even survived this long? It must be because of the Dragon Balls.

"That's not even the half of it. Frieza could destroy this planet in one blast if he wanted to. He certainly has the power." Piccolo says, his stoic expression not wavering.

"So he's just toying with us?" Krillin glances at Frieza through his peripheral vision. "That bastard."

"He's having fun with Kakarot." You scoff. "We're just a bonus."

Gohan frowns, furrowing his brows. "I-Is my dad gonna be okay?"

"Frieza's not the only one holding back." Piccolo's gaze moves onto Goku. "Look for yourselves."

"Dad!" The boy chuckles. The Namekian may be correct, but you've heard the rumors about Frieza. And if there's any validity to them, this isn't even a speck of Frieza's true power.

Your eyes wander around the rubble of Namek, and you see something... well, someone. For a split second, you thought it was Vegeta. But their build is shorter and far too slim. The name pops into your mind sooner than you'd care to admit. Tarble? You feel as if you're falling further and further into a bottomless abyss.

Your brother is dead... both of them are. Tarble's been dead for years. There's no way he survived in space all on his own. And if the slim chance he did, this would be the last place he'd be. He would never actively look for a fight or put himself in danger. He was always far too timid, far too afraid. Back on your home planet, people would refer to him as your shadow. Wherever you were, Tarble was just two steps behind. Just like... your shadow. You try not to think about him much. But once in a blue moon, thoughts of him slip into your mind. You can't help it.

"Y/N?" Gohan looks at you, concern shining in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Krillin's expression mirrors Gohan's.

"Ya, it's nothing." You shake your head, squinting your eyes. "I just

 thought I saw something."

"What did you see?" Gohan turns his head in the direction you were fixated on, only to find nothing.

"I'm just delirious. My eyes are playing tricks on me." You close your eyes, massaging your temples. And just like that, the image is gone. You're losing what's left of your mind.

"Are you sure?" Krillin asks. You nod, not wanting to spend another second on this topic. You direct your attention back onto the battle.

As the battle continues, you hear a motor of some kind. It's heading straight for you. Your head darts towards the source. It's the Earth woman on some sort of pink vehicle. Has she lost her damn mind? She jumps onto the ground, landing in a v-shaped pose. "A perfect ten!" Her voice is more gravelly than you remember. Wait a second. You'd recognize that dorky pose anywhere... It's Ginyu.

"Bulma!" Krillin yelps. "What are you doing here? Do you have any idea how dangerous this place is?" 'Bulma' has his back turned to him, seemingly not listening to a thing he says. You doubt Ginyu even knows her name. "Bulma? Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh? Who's that?" You were right. That fool took her body without even learning her name. Oh, this is great. You begin to laugh hysterically, wiping tears from your eyes. After the day you've had, you really needed this.

"Y/N? What's so funny?" Gohan asks.

"This is the best thing to ever happen on this damn planet. It's so amusing that it hurts." You grab your stomach, wincing in pain from laughing so hard.

"Bulma, you can't be here!" Krillin scolds the false Bulma. "Goku and Frieza are having it out. You need to find somewhere to hide."

"Really?" 'Bulma' jumps up in excitement, moving closer to the direction of the battle.

"Hold on!" Krillin shouts. "Don't just waltz over there. It's too dangerous."

"Lord Frieza in his ultimate form." Ginyu looks on in awe, fangirling over his boss. "Wow. It's magnificent! Frieza's body is reacting to the Saiyan's power!"

Gohan and Krillin share a look. "Bulma?"

A frog leaps in front of Gohan, jumping into his arms. The animal attempts to communicate with him. Making several croaking sounds and lots of gestures. Wait. If Ginyu is in Bulma's body, then Bulma must be... she's the damn frog! Oh, if only Raditz could see this. He'd get a kick out of it. You can practically hear his brash laughter ringing in your ears.

Gohan's eyes widen. "I get it now. You're that Ginyu guy. It's beyond dangerous out here, little buddy. If I were you, I'd find a nice sturdy rock to climb under."

"This is bad," As you watch the battle, Piccolo speaks for the first time in a while. "The gap between their strength is widening."

"It... It can't be." Krillin and Gohan share an uneasy look as Bulma laughs maniacally.

"Bulma?" Krillin questions again, this time more concerned than ever.

"His Lordship Frieza does not disappoint. Victory is his."

"Enough of this. Who are you?" Piccolo questions. Looks like one of the members of Team Kakarot has finally caught on.

"Cap--" Ginyu's hands fling over his mouth, stopping him from finishing his sentence. He struggles to pose in the unfamiliar feminine frame. But quickly, he maneuvers into a fighting stance. His attention concentrated on the Namekian.

"Look out, Piccolo!" Krillin shouts. Unfortunately for Piccolo, the warning comes just a second too late.

"Change now!"

"Head's up!" Gohan shouts, tossing the frog-morphed human straight into the line of fire.

Once the blinding light disperses, everyone's eyes lock on Bulma. Who's standing there frozen in shock. Which means Ginyu must be... You look down to the floor and catch the frog scampering away. You shake your head and snicker. What a coward.

"That was a close one, huh?" Gohan chuckles.

"Ya... If I only knew what happened." The Namekian scratches his head. He seems a bit dazed.

"I'm back! Inner and outer beauty are in perfect harmony once again!" The woman jumps around in pure joy. You'd think being a slimy frog, even just for a few minutes, would've taught her a lesson about vanity. Looks like she hasn't learned a damn thing.

"We're all overjoyed for you. But look, you need to get out of here and find someplace to hide. This is the absolute last place you want---" A harsh gust of wind interrupts Krillin, blasting Bulma back.

Gohan gasps. "Bulma!"

"Save me!" The woman shouts as she's flung up into the air out of view."

You watch in horror as Frieza splits the ground in two, carving a massive trench in the landscape. It extends as far as your eyes can see, even through the waters. You always knew Frieza was the most powerful being you've ever encountered. Yet, this is the first time you've ever contemplated the level of strength he truly possesses. Because viewing him as the strongest being you've ever met is no longer sufficient enough.

"Did that really just happen? This is starting to seem like a one-sided fight." Krillin comments.

"Of course it does. Frieza is stronger than any of us could've even prepared for. The look on Y/N's face should tell you all you need to know. I don't think even she anticipated this." The other two turn to you as Piccolo speaks. The look of dismay clear across your features. "There's nothing else we can do now. He's just too powerful." You never thought you'd see it. It's as if the Namekian has given up entirely. He seems different than he was on Earth. You can't exactly put your finger on it, but something has changed.

The battle, more appropriately labeled as Kakarot's beating, continues. Frieza smacks him around like he's nothing. You watch as Frieza holds Kakarot underwater with only a single limb. That's not good. If Kakarot is so weak that that's all it takes to drown him, you're all in trouble.

For every second that tics on, you have less and less hope. Your mind filling with possible contingency plans for after Kakarot's demise. But not a single one is up to par. And just when you thought Kakarot was down for the count, he comes shooting up from the water. His voice booming louder than ever.

Gohan and Krillin cheer, shouting words of encouragement as they watch in awe. "For Gohan, everyone on Earth, and the future of Namek. I'm not about to give up!" Goku shouts as red energy engulfs his body.

You gasp as he goes right back at Frieza like the last few minutes never happened. If you ignore the whole selfless hero thing, you'd say you're impressed with his resilience. Goku uses the Kaio-Ken technique on Frieza. Frankly, you were impressed with its sheer power. Once the blinding light disappears, your vision clears once again.

And no surprises here; Frieza hasn't moved an inch despite the brute force Kakarot used. To the untrained eye, you'd think that little stunt had no effect on him. Unlucky for you, you're very well versed in Frieza's mannerisms.

"There's no way... Goku put everything he had into that. So how is Frieza still floating there with barely a scratch on him?" Krillin questions in utter disbelief.

"Dad's energy dropped like a rock..."

"There's no way someone this powerful exists." That human is sure shocked a lot. You think he'd learn by now.

"Goku's finished." Piccolo scoffs. "Guess that lunatic King Kai was right. We should've listened when he told us to avoid a monster like Frieza."

"Frieza's off," You speak in almost a whisper, your sights locked on the man. He's relatively unscathed. There's barely a scratch on him, only a few nicks. But you can tell. The slight spasm of his extended hand, almost as if he was shaking. Mixed with his eyes. His eyes give it all away. The twitching mixed with something you thought you'd never see from Frieza. Fear. A being has never come that close to scathing him before.

Three heads dart in your direction. "What do you mean?" Krillin asks you. "He's fine. That blast did nothing to him."

"You don't know Frieza like I do." You chuckle. "Out of the many years I've worked under that snake, not once have I seen him look like that. His physical condition may be fine, but mentally he's off." Frieza's fear is quickly replaced with a much more familiar emotion. Pure rage.

You watch as Frieza knocks the man down. And he continues to pummel Goku into the ground. "Wow. Kakarot's really gotten him all worked up."

"Dad, no!" Gohan tries to run out to his father, but Piccolo grabs his cape, restraining the boy in place.

"You might as well send Y/N back out here!" Frieza mocks. "Even in her injured state, she'd put up a better fight!" He's not wrong. You'd never give up like that. It's pathetic.

"I'm ashamed to even call you a Saiyan, Kakarot!" You shout as Frieza's beating of your fellow Saiyan continues.

"I can't take this anymore!" Gohan shouts. "I can't just stand here. I have to help him!"

"No." Piccolo, yet again, stops Gohan from running into the line of fire.

"But... Dad will die if I don't!"

"He'll die if you do too." You scoff. "You'd only be prolonging the inevitable... and I doubt it would be for long. We're all going to be slaughtered today. I say, if the boy wants to die sooner, let him."

"Don't listen to her. Goku has something up his sleeve. I can tell." Piccolo assures the boy. "But he has such little power left. I have no idea what it could be." Kakarot looks as if he's posing. Maybe he got possessed by Ginyu again. You chuckle to yourself at the thought.

"A spirit bomb!" Krillin abruptly shouts. "It's a special last-ditch move he picked up from King Kai. It gathers all the energy from everything around. The grass, trees, even us. Everything that has a life force."

"But how?" Gohan eyes the older man skeptically. "This place doesn't look like it has much life left."

"I know, but just look down there. It's not like he has many options." He notices the look of concern across Gohan's features, quickly throwing an arm around him. "Besides, your dad knows more about it than us. I bet he'll make it work."

"Oh, yes. Let's just blindly put our faith in Kakarot. When has that strategy ever failed you before?" You sarcastically mumble. "I'm not a gambler when it comes to my life. And if I was, my money's on Frieza."

"Do you always have to be so negative?" Krillin cranes his neck in your direction, his displeasure with you apparent.

"I'll start being more positive when---" And just like that, an idea pops into your head. "Wait. So the more energy Kakarot can get, the better?" Your energy increases significantly in your newly unlocked form. So, if this spirit bomb works as Krillin claims, your new form could still be an asset against Frieza.

"Exactly." Krillin narrows his eyes at you. "Why?" Without a word, you stand back up. You crack your neck, getting into a better stance. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Cause a few minutes ago, you could barely stand without Gohan's help."

You smirk. "I'll be fine, human." You start to scream in a desperate attempt to replicate your original transformation. It's much easier to do than the last time. It's different from the Great Ape one that you're so used to. That one you were born with and had to learn to control. This one you had to unlock. You quickly transform. Your hair changing into a yellow hue, and your eyes glow. You're the Great Super Saiyan again. Now that you're not using it directly in battle, it's less impressive than you imagined as a child. It's sort of anti-climactic. You just need to hold this form as long as possible and hope your body doesn't give out.

Gohan and Krillin stare at you in confusion, but the Namekian chuckles. "Smart." Out of all of Kakarot's little friends, you suppose the Namekian is the most tolerable. Well, he's at least the most intelligent.

"I doubt it will do much." You roll your eyes before moving your gaze back to the battlefield. You can't lie. You do enjoy the look of bewilderment on Frieza's face.

After a few moments, the Namkeian looks around. "What the hell am I sensing?"

Krillin looks up at him. "Like I said---"

All three of you turn to Gohan, who's gazing at the sky in dismay. "The spirit bomb..." The three of you look up, finally seeing what Gohan does. You've never seen a ball of energy that size. Not even when you were flipping planets.

"That can't be it..." Krillin gulps. "It's gigantic."

"Damn." You shake your head. "Well, I guess I'd rather die by Kakarot's hands than Frieza's."

"By the look on your face, Krillin. I'm assuming this one is exceptional." Piccolo looks over to the human.

"The one on Earth wasn't even half that size. He must be collecting energy from all over the universe!"

"Frieza hasn't caught on yet," Piccolo announces. "Why doesn't he use that thing while he has the upper hand?"

"It must not be enough to... you know..." Krillin trails.

"You can say kill. It's not a bad word." You snarl. "You had no problem with it when you tried to murder my brother back on Earth."

"Come on, Dad!" You can hear Gohan shout as you glare at Krillin. "Hit him with everything you got!"

"How long do you intend to just stand there?" Frieza shouts, irritation evident in his voice.

"You know." Goku lets out a breathy chuckle. "That's a very good question." You adore watching the way Kakarot gets under Freieza's skin. Kakarot's antics sure are amusing when you're not the one being subjected to them.

You watch as Freiza twitches before knocking Kakarot back. "Oh, no!" Krillin shouts. "He caught on."

"No, Krillin. I don't think he did."

"The Namekian is right." You grin. "Kakarot's just pissing him off." Goku stands up, returning to his pose. Which only enrages Frieza more.

"I'm not going to ask you again." Frieza continues attacking him. Goku simply ignores his request, going back into the same stance. Your invasive laughter echoes throughout the remnants of the planet as Kakarot's beating counties.

The other three watch in horror with the occasional glance of disbelief at you. "Krillin, Gohan. Transfer any power you can spare to me. Quickly." The pair begin to give their remaining energy to the Namekian.

"What about Y/N?" Gohan asks.

"Right now. I think all of her energy is concentrated on keeping her transformation active." Piccolo chuckles. "Both of your energy will be plenty for what I have in mind. Don't worry."

"What's the big rush, Frieza?" Goku chuckles. "You're so impatient." Moments like this make it clear that there's still some Saiyan left in Kakarot. It might be the only thing attractive about him.

"You dare mock me, ape!" Frieza creates a large blast with his hand. Knocking Goku back further, sending him flying into the water.

"You two!" Piccolo shouts. "Pay no attention to what's going on down there. Just focus your energy." You do wonder what the Namekian has in mind. Neither of those earthlings have much power left. So, it can't be anything too powerful.

"This should be enough." Piccolo shoos them away. "Now listen here and listen well. None of you are to involve yourselves, understand? This is my fight and my fight alone." You scoff. It's like Vegeta never died.

"But---" Before Gohan can raise any opposition, the Namekian shuts him down.

"You'd only get in my way. You gave me all your remaining energy."

As Piccolo leaves the rest of you, Gohan speaks up again. "We can't just let him do this. He'll get himself killed."

"He's not trying to go after Frieza." You chuckle. "He's going to attempt to buy Kakarot sometime. It's a suicide mission... and he knows it."

"We can't just let him---"

"Then what's your plan?" You scoff. "You need to stop jumping the gun. I used to be just like that, too. You're gonna get yourself killed if you keep this up. How would your death help the Namekian?"

"It... wouldn't." Gohan sighs.

"Exactly. So stay there and shut up."

"Don't you think you're being a bit harsh?" Krillin turns to you. "He's just a---"

"You shut up, too!" You cut the human off. " I didn't know children were omitted from death on your planet." You sarcastically mumble.

While Frieza is distracted by Kakarot's idiocy, Piccolo finally strikes. Sending Frieza flying back and out of view. A sneak attack. Not a bad strategy. But that kind of thing only works once. You know that when Frieza returns, he'll be less than pleased.

"Piccolo!" Goku shouts in relief.

"Ya, ya. Just hurry up and finish that thing before he comes back."

"I owe you one." Goku gets back into his stance to finish the spirit bomb.

"You better make it quick. That sneak attack is the only thing I can manage right now."

Frieza launches back over. A vein bulging from his forehead. "How is that Namekian still drawing breath? I thought they've all been taken care of." You just love it when Frieza is enraged. It fills you with joy.

"Goku... hurry it up! How much longer do you need to finish that damn thing? Cause something tells me that Frieza is losing his patience."

"I'm sorry." Goku grunts. "I just need a bit more time."

"Ugh." Piccolo groans. "Just throw it already."

"No. It's still not done. It's too weak. If I throw it now, it'll do nothing!" Piccolo scoffs at him, flying up into the air.

"Too pesky to live but too stubborn to die," Frieza smirks at him.

"You're going to eat those words, scum." You watch, waiting to see who'll throw the first blow.

"What's he doing now?" Gohan asks.

"I think he's going to sacrifice himself. He can't have much power left after that move he just pulled. Since Goku's not done yet, I think Piccolo's trying to buy him some time." Wow, the human is observant for once. You assume there's a first time for everything.

"I told you he was going on a suicide mission." You cross your arms, wondering how this will all play out. You know it'll probably end with the Namekian splattered across the landscape. But the moments that lead to that are far more interesting to you.

"Goku... hurry it up! How much longer do you need to finish that damn thing? Cause something tells me that Frieza is losing his patience."

"I'm sorry." Goku grunts. "I just need a bit more time."

Piccolo groans. "Just throw it already."

“I don’t think Piccolo can last much longer… he’s really taking a beating.” Krillin looks on in horror.

"We have to help him!" Gohan starts to fly towards the two men. You shake your head. The boy has learned nothing. If he refuses to adhere to your warning, there's nothing more you can do for him.

"Gohan, wait!" Krillin's voice stops him dead in his tracks. He doesn't speak another word, just shaking his head at Gohan.

You roll your eyes. "As I said before, You'd just get in the way. You'd be more of a hindrance than an asset. Don't be stupid. That job belongs to your moronic father." You look away from the earthlings, directing your attention to the battle. The Namekian is far too weak to provide you with any kind of entertainment. The only attacks he can manage are several small yellow energy disks. 

"How can someone so resilient be so dumb?" Frieza mutters. You've often pondered the same question about Kakarot. "You must have a death wish, Namekian."

"We're at the end of our rope, Goku. Finish the damn thing!" With little effort, Frieza slams Piccolo onto the ground. "That's all I got. Please tell me you're almost done."

Goku shakes his head. "It's still not finished yet. If I throw it now, this all would've been for nothing."

Frieza grabs Piccolo by the collar. "Say goodbye, Namkeian. You get to die on your home planet. You should be thankful. The others aren't so lucky. Thanks to me, two of them don't even have one to die on." Before Frieza can kill him, Krillin and Gohan shoot a collective blast at Frieza with the minuscule energy they have left. Stopping yet another murder attempt. Frieza's three for three for his assassinations on this damn rock. That's not a bad stat in general, but it is terrible for Frieza.

"You... pests!" Frieza shrieks. "I hope you all end up suffering the same fate as this damn planet!" You've never seen Frieza look this unhinged. You've seen him pissed off countless times, but never to this degree. You watch as Frieza starts another attack. The ball of energy from his palms growing larger and larger by the second.

"Goku..." Krillin chuckles nervously. "It doesn't look like we have much time left!"

"Okay... Okay. I think it's ready!"

"Come on then!" Piccolo shouts. "Throw it!"

"Now, Dad!"

"While we're still young, Kakarot!" Wow, all of you are on the same page for once. Maye hell has frozen over? Goku screams, launching the spirit bomb at Frieza. "Holy shit..." That monstrosity absorbs Frieza's entire attack like it was nothing.

"Get down!" Piccolo shouts. Everyone falls to the ground, the spirit bomb causing severe damage to Namek's landscape... well what was left of it. The harsh winds send you all flying up into the air. The planet has turned entirely into a body of water. And you're thrown right into it. You weren't really intending to go for a swim today. Guess you have no choice now.

You grab onto some rock, pulling yourself up, gasping desperately for air. "I hate this vile planet!" You laugh as your eyes land on the earthlings staring at you with wide eyes. "Sorry to disappoint."

"Y/N!" Gohan exclaims, running over to you. The boy practically tackles you. Wrapping his arms around you, clinging onto you for dear life. "You're okay!" Your body goes rigid. You're not used to this. As you've said multiple times already. Physical affection isn't something your people partake in.

Krillin walks over to you, a faint grin on his features. "I never thought I'd say this, but oh boy, I am happy to see you."

Gohan finally releases you from his tight embrace. "Did you sense my dad or Piccolo down there?"

You shake your head. "I can barely sense myself right now, Gohan." You look around, taking in Namek's drastic remodel. The once vibrant planet is now drowning. This isn't exactly a foreign sight to you. For many years, your job was to destroy and flip planets for profit. You scan the area, searching for any source of life. You'd like to say you're looking for Kakarot or the Namekian, but that isn't true. You can't help but search for Frieza. That man has terrorized you since you were a small child. It's hard for you to believe he's gone. You can't ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Everything just feels far too easy.

"Hey, over there!' Gohan points to another area. "I see something!" A green hand grabs onto a rock. Using all his strength, Piccolo pulls himself up, dragging Goku with him.

Your lips unconsciously curve upwards at the sight. What the hell is happening to you? You should've wanted Kakarot dead. The idea of getting rid of him and Frieza in one blast should have been joyful... but it wasn't. You were worried? Upset? You don't know how to define your emotions for this hypothetical scenario.

Though, Kakarot is the only other member of your race alive. With Vegeta and Raditz dead, you and Kakarot are the only things left of your home. And when you're both dead... it will be as if your planet never existed. Like your species never existed. The Saiyan race would be nothing but a distant memory... a tale of the past.

"Goku!" You hear the human shout. You see Kakarot there. He's alive. And yet, you can't help but think about what things would've been like if he wasn't.

The reality of everything begins to set in. Frieza, Raditz, Vegeta, they're all dead. And yet, you're still standing. For the first time in your life, you're truly alone. What do you do now? Where are you supposed to go? It's not like you have a home to go back to.

Your brother would know what to do. He always knew what to do. You feel so lost. You try to think about what Vegeta's next steps would be. First, he'd kill Kakarot, obviously. And with Frieza gone, taking over the universe would be a piece of cake. The Frieza Force is weak, but their soldiers are malleable. But is that what you want? Do you want to rule the universe?

That was Vegeta's dream. Not yours. You always just went along with his whims. Ruling the universe with Vegeta would've involved a lot of work; without him, it is next to impossible. The plan was always for Vegeta to do all the work, and you'd selfishly reap all the benefits. Without your brother, you don't desire to dominate the universe. But if you're not going to take over the universe, then what the hell are you going to do?

You watch their little reunion from a distance. It's filled with hugs and happiness... and all of the other shit you find nauseating. Frieza's dead... you should be happier than ever. Yet you're not. You feel... numb? You've never felt this lost in your life. Whatever is left of Raditz and Vegeta is somewhere underwater now. That is if their bodies weren't destroyed by Frieza's trench. Saiyans don't mourn. They suck it up and move on. That's what your father did after your mother died in childbirth with you and Tarble. Yet... you're melancholy. It's almost bitter-sweet. But mostly bitter.

Goku frowns, and starts to look around. Like he's searching for something, "Where's-" His eyes lock on you, a grin quickly replacing the frown on his lips.

You slowly saunter over to them. "You actually lived." You shake your head at the buffoon. "Color me surprised."

"Does that mean you're happy to see me?"

You roll your eyes, chuckling. "You really just hear what you want, don't you, Kakarot?"

"Man, that spirit bomb was a doozy. It was like the size of a planet." And they're back to their little celebration. Who are you kidding? It never ended.

"You better believe it was, Krillin. The hopes and dreams of the entire universe were packed into that thing." Goku looks at you from the corner of his eye. "And maybe a bit of extra help from Y/N, too."

"I was still afraid that you got caught in it."

"Come on, Gohan." Piccolo chuckles, ruffling the boy's hair. "Give your father and I some credit."

"Well, I guess it's time to head home with our heads held high. Might even have the chance to live the dream." Krillin announces.

"Huh?" The father-son duo looks at him in collective confusion.

Krillina laughs awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "You're seriously going to make me spell out what's at the top of my victory list, aren't you?" His face flushes bright red. "A girlfriend."

You sneer in disgust. "Humans are such pathetic creatures." The other three stare at Krillin in surprise before breaking out into laughter. You'll never understand any of them. And you don't desire to.

Once the initial adrenaline passes, everyone's now standing. Goku has one arm around Krillin, the other placed on top of his son's head. "You all ready to go? My spaceship should be able to get us back home in just under six days."

Gohan jumps in joy. "Yay! I get to see everyone in less than a week."

Goku grins at his son before turning to you. "You're more than welcome to come with us."

"It's not like there's any other way off this damn rock." You look away, avoiding his gaze. Great, you get to go from one horrid planet to another. You can't even pick which one is worse. Namek, which is a shell of its former self. Or Earth, which is home to some of the weakest, most pathetic creatures you've ever encountered.

Your ears perk up as Krillin screams. "What is it?" Goku asks, alarm dripping from his voice.

"Bulma's out there somewhere. And I totally forgot." He looks terrified. It's the same way the human typically looks at you.

"Come on, Krillin." Goku laughs. "Don't scare us like that. From the look on your face, I thought that Frieza was back."

"Ya, well, he's got nothing on her when she's pissed off." Really? He finds the Earth women terrifying? You've seen insects with a higher power level than her. You doubt the earth woman has eradicated entire species when she was angry. It must be an exaggeration.

The others laugh, but you aren't amused. "Don't make me laugh." Goku chuckles more, gripping his side. "My body's already mad enough at me as it is."

You stare at your reflection in the water as the Namekian speaks. You look like crap. You desperately need sleep. You look back up and see the earthling, his mouth hanging ajar; he's practically shaking in fear. You turn your head to see what he's staring at. Laughter escapes your lips. It's Frieza. You knew it. You knew it seemed too fucking easy.

"How can this be happening? There's no way someone could survive a blast like that and not get obliterated." Krillin looks on in utter disbelief.

"He's not just anyone. He's Frieza...." Your voice trails.

Frieza extends his arm, shooting a blast at Goku and Gohan. Piccolo jumps in, knocking the pair out of the way. Taking the impact of the blast entirely. "Piccolo!" Gohan screams, falling to his knees.

"He's alive..." You cross your arms over your chest. "At least for now."

Gohan gets up and rushes over to the Namekians' side. "Piccolo... please get up."

You watch as Kakarot clenches his fists, his knuckles turning milky white. "Bravo, my friend." You don't think you've ever heard Frieza refer to someone as a friend. Pest, sure, but a friend? Never. It's unnerving. "You nearly brought the mighty Frieza down. I've never had a call quite that close before."

Goku's gaze darts from Frieza to you all. "I want you all to get out of here. My ship isn't far. Grab Piccolo, find Bulma, and set a course for Earth." Why is everyone always so bossy? First Vegeta, then the Namekian, and now Kakarot. Who’s gonna try to boss you around next? The brat? "I'm not leaving. So don't get any ideas about waiting for me." His eyes lock on his son, who's in a trance-like state. "Snap out of it, Gohan!"

"I won't!" The brat stubbornly stands his ground; how Saiyan-like. "I owe it to Piccolo to stay and fight." Gohan starts to tear up.

"With what?" Goku questions. "None of you have enough strength left. The most you'd do is get in the way."

"Goku..." Krilin's voice trails. "You're serious."

"I advise against placing much stock in your vessel. But if you'd like, I can bring you much closer to home." That sounds mildly threatening. You know he's not talking about your home. All that's left of your homeworld is most likely a handful of rocks floating aimlessly somewhere in space.

"Krillin! Look out!" Gohan shouts. Frieza takes control of Krillin's body, blasting him high into the air.

"Frieza... don't do it!" Begging will only encourage him further. You don't see a way where any of you make it off of this planet alive.

"Goku!" Krillin shouts as he dangles in the air. With a clench of Frieza's fist, the human implodes. Talk about going out with a bang. You don't even see a body. He must have... disintegrated.

"You are a ruthless... heartless... bastard." Kakarot's fists remain clenched, his entire body vibrating.

Frieza laughs mockingly. "I think the pretty princess should go next." He extends his index finger in your direction. "And after I take care of her, it'll be the brat's turn." Frieza shoots a blast of energy straight toward you. It all happens so fast that any attempt to move would be in vain.

You can feel the heat of the energy against your armored chest. Yet there's no pain. The beam reflects off your chest as if you were made entirely of rubber. Frieza dodges out of the way, just barely evading his own attack.

"What the hell?" You mutter to yourself. You look down. Your armor is the same... but your chest is glowing. You reach into your armor, pulling out your necklace, holding it by the chain. This is the source of the light; the stars of the charm are shining. It's never done that before. Your necklace... it saved you?

"What kind of damn trick was that Y/N?"

"I- I have no idea." You grasp the charm in your hand. It feels warm, an odd, comforting familiarity you can't describe. Where the hell did your father actually get this thing?

Frieza is about to speak again, but his attention quickly focuses on Kakarot. Whose anger has only seemed to grow. Beams of light shoot all over the planet. It almost resembles lightning. He must like Krillin more than all his other friends you had slaughtered back on Earth. The waters form waves, and rocks shoot everywhere. "I will make you suffer!" Now, this is a version of Kakarot you can get behind. His hair flickers from black to blonde. No way... he can't be.

With one final shriek, he transforms right before your eyes. His hair was now in a semi-permanent state of blonde, with his eyes a much lighter shade. Kakarot... is a Super Saiyan. "Holy shit..."

"Both of you go. Take Piccolo with you, and get the hell out of here." It's clear this isn't a request. "Find Bulma, find the ship, and go." Gohan hesitates, not moving. "Do as I say now before I lose what little sense of reason I have left!"

"O-Okay." Gohan nods, rushing back over to Piccolo.

"Move as fast as you can, and don't look back. If Piccolo dies, then Kami dies... and I don't think I have to remind you what happens after that." And still, after all of this, his priority is resurrecting his pathetic friends. Unbelievable.

"What are you trying to say?" Gohan's voice shakes.

"I'm saying go without me. Get back home; I'll be there when I can."

"But... if we take your ship, you'll be stuck here. You'd have no way to get home."

"I'm your father! Don't talk back to me!" Goku snaps. "Just do as I say!"

"Alright, Dad." Gohan nods. "I'll see you at home." Gohan picks up Piccolo, flying out of view."

After his son is gone, Goku turns to you. "That means you too."

"But I wanted to watch..." You pout.

He scoffs. "I'm not asking, Y/N."

You place your hands on your hips, rolling your eyes at the man. "You sound like Vegeta."

Goku takes several steps toward you. Now, standing directly in front of you. "Stop being a stubborn brat and listen!"

You chuckle. "Now you really sound like Vegeta."

"I'm not playing this game." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Now get the hell out of here!"

"I never knew you could yell so much." You smirk.

"Well, that's because yelling seems to be the only damn thing you respond to!" He snaps.

"That's not---" Wait. Have you been conditioned to only listen when someone's screaming at you?

"Now, I'd happily entertain you any other goddamn day of the year, but not now." He takes a deep breath. "Now go before I lose my damn patience."

"Man, now you really sound like---" You're cut off by Kakarot's lips pressing against your own. The warm sensation causes your heart to flutter. Your eyes widen. Your breath catching in the back of your throat.

"How about now? Do I sound like Vegeta now?" You touch your lips. Did... Did that just happen? "Now go!" He takes a deep breath, seeming to have calmed down a bit. "When I return to Earth, we can get back to what we started before. So you'll get a turn, too. I'll gladly fight you... or fuck you if that's what you'd like instead. Maybe both if you listen." You choke on air. Who the fuck is this? Cause this isn't the Neanderthal Kakarot. Your brain is short-circuiting. "Just wait for me, alright. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"A-Alright." You're not sure if you love or hate this new Kakarot. You take a deep breath and regain your frosty attitude. "Don't die. Or do. I don't give a damn what happens to this planet. Well, it's not much of a planet anymore, is it." You fly up into the air.

"Hey!" He calls out to you one last time. "Take care of Gohan for me while I'm gone."

You grin, shaking your head. "You really are a terrible father!"

[thehusbandoden]

LOV x Gn!Reader With an Eating Disorder *platonic*!

Important message: I'm not very familiar with any type of eating disorder, so I apologize if I get something wrong or even trigger, insult, or upset anyone! I promise I wouldn't be trying to, and please reach out to me if so; so I can fix my mistake! <33

*Trigger Warnings!*: eating disorders, mentions of food and ppl trying to pressure you into eating, bullying, and a mention of murder. If I miss anything, please tell me! <3

General info:

Genre: fluff/comfort \\ wc: 694 \\ friendly reminder! For personal reasons, I do not write for Toga or Twice in any way, thank you for being so understanding and patient! <33 \\ Gender neutral reader + platonic relationships.

Requested! Couldn't find the exact wording, but they wanted a lov x reader platonically, where Shigaraki is like a father figure; and them reacting to you having an ed.

Dabi was the first one to notice it.

He viewed you as his little sister, and though he denied it; he cared about you. Which is what led him to discover your eating habits- well lack of eating.

It started off small. Missing a brunch here, and turning down a snack there. Nothing to cause concern.

But when you started making excuses for almost every meal- that's when he started to get worried.

When the rest of the leauge was eating breakfast you'd simply grab an apple, telling everyone that you "had stuff to do".

Okay, no big deal.

But when you skipped lunch, and hardly touched dinner? Dabi was now keeping his eyes on you.

And then it happened four times after that.

Dabi was quite upset.

He started having you sit next to him, staring at you to pressure you to eat something. He knew that it was kind of mean, but he just wanted you to stop losing weight. You were starting to look thinner every day- which scared him.

After a while of this and realizing it wasn't working, Dabi knew what he had to do.

After making sure you were out of the hide out, Dabi brought Shigaraki in a semi private place to discuss your poor health.

Shigaraki was furious and hurt.

Furious at Dabi for not tellin ghim for two weeks, and hurt that you wouldn't care for yourself properly.

Though you two weren't very far apart, he still saw you as a daughter; and needed you to be taken care of.

After devising a plan Shigarki and Dabi started to work to increasing your self esteem.

They would subtly compliment you every day, telling you how beautiful you were, and how much they love tolerated you.

((I'd just like to say that they would indeed love you, and that you are dearly loved in the real world. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, and if you need, or even just want to, I'm always here to chat about anything and everything (unless I say I'm uncomfortable with a certain subject, but you can always ask!) <33))

Your self esteem started to grow again, and they hoped that that was the end of the problem.

But you still weren't eating well, and that concerned them further.

Mr. Compress started to notice, and Spinner soon after.

Getting frustrated, Shigarki started having you eat with him, making sure that you ate at least a little bit.

After a while of you continuing to grow skinnier and skinnier, Shigarki lost it.

Pulling you into a comforting, warm hug he stroked your head before asking;

"Y/n/n, please tell me what's wrong with you. Gorgeous, you know you can tell me anything."

Sighing, you finally tell him how some pro heroines commented on your "weight" and how you grew self conscious. After a while of this agonizing feeling you decided to eat less and less to lose weight.

Honestly, Shigarki was angry. Really angry. Already planning on finding and murdering the scum that dared make you feel this way, Shigarki simply smiled down at you before pecking your forehead; much like a parent would.

"Y/n, my dear. You should have told me. I promise you, that you are the most beautiful person I've seen in my entire life. So please belive me when I say that you don't need to worry about loosing weight. I liked how you looked before, and though you do still look gorgeous- you look better healthy."

Tearing up, you clung to Shigarki as you sobbed, finally letting out all the pain and anger you've been holding back for the longest time.

After comforting you and making sure you ate, and got to bed, Shigarki went to tell Dabi about your conversation.

You were not prohibited from looking at the news for the next two and a half weeks.

~~~~~

Shigaraki's masterlist | Dabi's masterlist | Navigation

You can tip me here <3

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!! <33

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[lost-walmartbag]

hiii!! do u have a potential post/finish date for first impressions pt4? ive been rereading the parts like every other day i cant get enough of ur writing omg.

Warning: Swearing

Background: After dinner, Liane suggests you and Eric go out for the night.

Status: Ongoing

Previous part

Next part

'Night out'

Dinner was tense, to say the least. Liane would either not speak or ask only Eric questions. She wouldn't even eat the potato salad you made and looked offended when Eric seemed to love it.

"Honestly babe this is great." He said with a soft smile.

You gave a simple nod feeling the cold glare Liane was shooting your way. Her food was honestly amazing but so filling and kinda greasy. You felt like if you ate more than the small portion you served yourself you'd gain half your body weight overnight.

"Your cooking is so good Ms. Cartman." You said trying your best to salvage the night, and foolishly hoping with that one comment she's immediately love you.

She gave a forced smile and nodded before turning back to Eric. "So honey you look like you lost a lot of weight are you eating alright?"

She was right, of course. Eric had lost a bit of weight since you first met him, it wasn't too much but it was noticeable. You've seen a picture of him as a kid and he was always chubby, but now he gained some muscle, and honestly? He looked amazing.

"Oh. Yeah, I'm eating ok. Y/N never really stops cooking." He said with a chuckle, seemingly not as nervous anymore. "And we go to the gym sometimes so yeah I guess I have."

Liane took in a sharp breath, her nostrils flared and her grip on her glass tightened. "Well isn't that wonderful? Seems like you changed a lot since you left me."

This made Eric gain all that nervous energy back. And you can see why. She said it like it was meant to harm him. Like her words were a knife and she was aiming for his stomach.

"Yeah, I guess so.." He said shifting in his seat.

"You haven't called since you left." Another stab. "Was starting to think you forgot about me."

She put her fork and knife down and gave a small smile. It was insincere, angry. But you weren't sure if Eric saw that. "So I'm glad you came.

"Y-Y/N wanted to meet you so I thought so yeah know...thought it was a good idea." He said looking at Liane but avoiding her eyes.

"Oh. Well, I guess I have you to thank, Y/N." She said darting her cold eyes to you, and you can tell it killed her a bit inside to say that. She turned back to Eric and gave a sickly sweet smile. "You two staying long?"

"Maybe just the night," Eric said, biting his lip.

"That just won't do!" She said with a shocked expression. Don't you want to see your friends again?" Liane said gathering the empty plates on the table. "In fact, why don't you go out tonight? I'm sure the boys would love to see you."

You got a sinking feeling in your stomach at her suggestion. God, if she hated you, how would his friends react?

"I-I don't know...I mean are they even still in town? I'm sure they're busy." Eric said trying to figure out how to say no without the words coming out of his mouth.

"I insist! Most of them are still in town. Stan visits every now and then. Kyle and Kenny work at the school. In fact, I bet they're all at the bar downtown as we speak." Liane said before turning to you and dropping her 'motherly' voice. "Y/N wouldn't mind going. Would you?"

You hated how much this woman scared you. "N-nope! Don't mind at all! L-let's go I'd love to meet everyone." You said, giving an unconvincing laugh.

Eric bounced his leg and nodded. "Okay...yeah let's go."

You and Eric stood up and speed walked out the door. Once you two were in the car you both let out a sigh of relief.

"I told you this was a bad idea." Eric said starting the car.

"Yeah well it would have helped if you told me she was fucking crazy!" You said running your hands down your face. "I feel like I aged twenty years. I started worrying about my morgage in there."

"Why do you think I never wanted you to meet her?"

"I don't know! I thought you were like planning to break up with me soon or something!" You said as he drove.

He slammed down on the break petal and turned to look at you. "Y/N are you kidding?" He said, clearly offended. "Y/N you are the only person in my life that I turn back to. I left everything here because I couldn't fucking stand it."

You felt your cheeks heat up as Eric looked at you with his blue and brown eyes. He cupped your cheeks and pressed his lips into a line. "I can stand you. You are the only person I never get tired of."

"You are the only thing that makes sense." He continues. "My mom says she loves me but doesn't want me to be happy. My friends fucking hate me but still keep me around. Y/N you mean everything you say. When you say you love me I don't even fucking question it. God you're so-"

He cut himself off and let out a small frustrated growl. He grabbed your cheeks and pressed his lips into yours. You melted into his touch and kissed back. One of his hands moved to the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair, gently tugging. You gasp softly and he takes the chance to slide his tongue into your mouth.

The kiss quickly heated up. Your hands move down to his arms trying to keep yourself grounded, feeling that if you let go you'd float away. Before you two could get enough there was a honk behind the car, reminding you both that you were parked in the middle of the road. Eric let out a frustrated growl and reluctantly pulled away from your lips.

"Asshole could just move around." He muttered as he continued driving.

You let out a small laugh and leaned your head against the window. You felt less nervous about the rest of the night but you couldn't get rid of that nagging feeling in your stomach. What would his friends be like? Why would Liane make you and Eric leave if she didn't want you around? What was she playing at?

"What are your friends like?" You asked softly.

"I wouldn't really call them friends." He said looking ahead at the semi-empty road. "I liked hanging around Kenny, he was pretty cool. Stan was fine but he was more Kyle's friend than me or Kenny's. And Kyle....Kyle and I didn't really like each other."

You look over at him wondering if you should ask what you're about to. "Why not?"

"It's a long story...not ready to talk about all that yet." He said with a sigh.

"Remember last time you weren't ready to talk about something?" You asked half-teasingly. "Had to have a weird dinner with your mom who clearly hates me."

"I know but I just...It'll take me some time so be patient yeah?" He said parking in front of a small bar.

"Yeah okay." You said with a sigh. "Now let's go meet your....childhood acquaintances?"

Eric grimaced and chuckled. "Maybe calling them friends is better."

A/N: You guys can make me do literally anything you ask. I love seeing you guys enjoy my writing. But part 5 won't come for a bit, gotta give attention to my other stories. And I don't have a set schedule I just post when I post, but yeah if you guys love my writing and ever want an update on the next part just comment so it's a bit easier to give more updates. And if you don't wanna miss a part ask to be added to the taglist and I'll add you. I literally will not reject anyone who asks. a million people can ask and I will tag all of them. But yeah thank you sm for reading. Love ya'll bye bye.

Taglist: @jessiegerl @stephs-inluv @breadandbutter33

[tulipe-rose]

Nakahara Chūya, and Miyazawa Kenji... Quite the unique bunch, aren't they?

The allegedly 'inhumane', gravity manipulating beast, and the temperamental, often starved sunshine child.

They're explored separately throughout the Manga, and are given their moments to express their characters through words and actions. At first sight, they'd be rendered polar opposites. However that may be true to an unknowing outsider, their current knowledge would never allow them to understand, to comprehend what lies within.

One loyal dog, another morally grey sweetheart.

They do meet once during the main plot; multiple times during the spin offs and once during the anthologies. They're portrayed to be an admiring boy with his idol. It's truly an adorable sight to behold.

The feared Mafia executive, and the loved, yet feared agency part timer.

It's a pity that they'll most probably never get the right opportunity to connect with one another. Their past experiences and sorrows are the key factors that would assist them to truly understand each other's emotions, as they both know what it's like to grieve over loved ones. They both know all too well what it's like to be the strongest; to be the pillar of support that everyone depends on in certain situations; their trump card. They both harbor abilities that are mighty, double edged swords, unstoppable when provoked, even harmful to oneself when pushed to their wits end. The weight of responsibility could weigh on them akin to dead weight, but they persevere through it, and they manage to make it through victorious. It's truly fascinating however, that the difference in environment could impact the path taken, and ideals followed by each. The way by which they choose to handle predicaments they're to be put in reflects the duality of humans that are infinitely similar and different concurrently.

Bottling up their issues and emotions isn't foreign to either. One due to his upbringing, and the other solely because of the fact that he has no time to deal with them. Life is moving, and the mafioso cannot afford to be held up by pitiful emotions. He is capable of destressing using quality wine in the safe confines of a bar table. The young blonde on the other hand is a stranger to pitiful anger, sadness and irritation. He has been brought up to never feel the need to be anything but happy. Yes, it might have effectively impacted him, making his perspective and views brighter, much more optimistic and inviting than most. However, a certain perspective would claim that variety in emotions is what makes us human; I'd leave it up to debate, yet I personally believe that with enough care and attention, the young Miyazawa could open up, even if a little to peak of anything that bothers him. That'd be the peak of character development. Another colossal issue that is faced by this superhuman fourteen year old happens to be how he chooses to handle his hunger. He could be half starved to death, yet not a single complaint would leave his lips. He's far too accustomed to it. He doesn't acknowledge it anymore, and that is not healthy.

A lost soul, and another wandering one.

I dare say Nakahara sees a fragment of his youth in the blonde countryboy. Nakahara would go to unimaginable lengths just to keep the boy's smile genuine; to keep it cheerful and glad to be in existence as ever. He'd try to reserve the boy's happiness, because he was too familiar with it being stripped away.

They might just be the shoulder that both of them needs to lean on, cry on in case the infamous ginger winds up lost to the alcohol.

If only the mangaka gave it a serious chance.

(TD;LR I firmly believe in and support the Chuenji sibling dynamic.

Petition to allow the Miyazawa family to adopt Chūya, aye in the comments if you agree.

Hope you liked this pointless piece of meta that literally no one asked for. I'm pretty sure most of my points have been repeated over and over by other people, but never hurts really.)

[savage-rhi]

"You’ve always been there for me, now, it’s my turn to be there for you"

Noctis and Ignis you pick romantic or platonic

The campfire crackled softly, casting a warm hue over the clearing. Noctis sat on a log, staring into the flames, lost in reflection. The night was quiet except for the occasional rustling of leaves and crickets chirping. A content sigh left his nose, thankful for the noise in the background. Though the cricket's cries were annoying, it beats being alone in one's thoughts at this late hour--at least, that was Noctis's justification for tolerance.

He suddenly heard footsteps approaching him from behind, knowing it was Ignis because of his steady steps.

"You're up late," Ignis remarked as he stretched while yawning, sitting beside him.

Noctis didn't look up, his eyes remaining on the flames ahead. "Couldn't sleep."

Ignis nodded, his gaze following Noctis's into the fire. "Something on your mind?"

For a moment, Noctis remained silent, unsure how to voice the heaviness weighing on his heart. The responsibilities, the expectations, the looming burden of his destiny—it all seemed too much, too overwhelming. He had done an excellent job playing into the facade of the "brat prince," someone who took things in stride and did not bother with the future. How could he anyway, when the world was falling apart at the seams? Nevertheless, Noctis knew in his heart of hearts that he couldn't keep up the act forever, especially since he cared too much for his own good. If any of his friends could understand that most, it was Iggy.

He bowed his head as his hands and fingers intertwined.

"Ignis," Noctis finally said, his voice low and troubled. "Do you ever wonder if I'm really cut out for all this? For being king?"

Ignis turned to him, the glowing embers from the fire reflecting in his glasses. "Noctis, I've known you since you were a child. If there's anyone who can bear the weight of the crown, it's you."

"But what if I can't?" Noctis breathed while he shook his head. "What if I fail everyone?"

"What's brought this upon you?"

"I..." Noctis bit the inside of his lip and shrugged. "Everything."

Ignis reached out, placing a reassuring hand on Noctis's shoulder. "You won't fail because you're not alone in this. You have us—Gladio, Prompto, and me. Whatever happens, we face it together."

Noctis looked up, meeting Ignis's eyes. Although he wasn't feeling any better, the soothing words could get him through the night. He could make it work somehow.

"You've always been there for me, Ignis." Noctis finally said, giving a small smile. "Through everything. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"And I always will be, Noct." Ignis smiled softly, a rare warmth gracing his features that was usually reserved. "Remember, this isn't just about you leaning on us. You're stronger than you realize. You've been there for all of us in ways you might not notice. Now, it's my turn to be there for you."

Noctis furrowed his brows. "But you've always had my back. Arguably, more than my father. I don't see how I'm doing much for you when you've had to play mom all this time to me."

"I never saw it like that," Ignis said sincerely, sadness in his eyes at his comment. "You've taught me much about myself, just as I have taught you about the world. We've learned a great deal from each other, you and I. I consider that worthwhile between best friends, don't you?"

The words hit Noctis with a quiet assertiveness, a reminder that their bonds were more than just duty—it was built on trust, and a deep understanding that couldn't be spoken for in earnest.

"Thanks, Ignis..." Noctis murmured, feeling a sense of calm wash over him.

Ignis gently squeezed his shoulder before letting go. "Get some rest. We have a long road ahead, and you'll need your strength."

Noctis nodded, the weight on his shoulders lifting a little now. As Ignis stood to leave, Noctis called after him.

"Ignis?"

"Yes, Noct?"

"I'm glad you're with me."

Ignis paused, a faint smile touching his lips. "As am I, Noct."

With that, he turned and walked back to his tent, leaving Noctis alone by the fire. The warmth of Ignis's words lingered, a quiet assurance that whatever lay ahead, he wouldn't face it alone. Noctis released a breath he had held back, realizing perhaps it was time to finally let go of the mask that had shielded him for so long. Maybe it was time to start acting like a king; the king his father knew was underneath the strife of a young teenager trying to find his feet. The king that Ignis believed in.

Noctis knew he could do it, as long as he had him.

If you like my work and feel generous, feel free to donate to my ko-fi account or my cash app account!

Cash App: $JayRex1463

[marshmallowprotection]

Love love love love the unknown art but cheritz is back at it again with the ultra skinny woman with comedically big tits for how small she is type bs....like WHY can't they be normal about women.

I digress...this is a much bigger issue than cheritz but it kills my ability to enjoy the fanart.

I'm looking forward to your analysis, though! :')

TW; Fatphobia

Fatphobia is a legitimate problem across the world, and it bleeds into everything when society values fat bodies as less than. I'll use fat as my descriptor because I'm comfortable with using that word, but I'm aware some people don't like that word because of how they've been treated. So, just know I'm using it for myself here.

I say this as someone who was fat growing up, I always felt like I was valued less than everyone else. When I nearly lost my life a few years ago, I lost a lot of weight. It's difficult to talk about because everyone around me told me I looked "so much better". People started to treat me differently. People started to look at me differently. I was seen by society and perceived in a different way than I had been my entire life and it made me angry. I'm still angry about it.

Someone who used to bully me for years tried to hit on me. As if I'd give someone a second fucking look when I know they wouldn't value my fat body. I didn't look better and I sure as hell didn't feel better. It hurt to know people looked at me and said I looked great when I was actively dying. When I was miserable, people thought only of weight loss as a "good thing".

Because society puts so much value on "skinniness", people could give less of a fuck about it. My body was "skinny." It didn't matter if I was on my death bed to them.

People with MC's body do exist in some regard. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes in this world, there's no one body that's going to look exactly the same, but there are more body types than just a small waist and large breasts.

I think it's important to be mindful of the way we talk about all bodies because it's not fair to anyone that we live in a world that prioritizes certain traits over others. But, if you're not careful about how you're phrasing your frustration, you could hurt someone else like how you have been hurt. The smallest comment about someone's appearance could hurt them, it doesn't matter if it's about your weight, skin color, shape of your eyes, shape of your nose, etc. Words can hurt others in so many ways.

It's important to sit down and stare at the real devil in the room. The perpetuation pushed by some people in this world that "eurocentric features should be the beauty standard." That's just racist. It's bound by racism and all it does to hurt everyone. Ugh.

[bookshelf-dust]

Sorry this is long ash lol just wanted you to know that you're not alone. Thats all I wanted when I was by myself.

Right. I never thought I'd open up about this lol, especially to a stranger online. But I get you… I'm a really skinny black male, and where I live, people look at me as if I'm anorexic or dying from disease or something, even when I clear it up that I'm not. I constantly have to deal with my relatives telling me about my body, and it's aggravating, cuz some of them are adults, so I'm kind of forced to respect them and take everything. And that hurts, because it's not as if I suddenly lost a lot of weight or anything. I've always been like this, have been to multiple doctors and many have commented on my body not being average.

Being a black male, everyone expects me to be all gangster and macho, and being in high school at the time, that really fucked with my already present insecurities. Not to mention I was in the closet and gay. So, everything was hell. So much so that I refused to go outside for anything aside from school. I used to get in to fights with my parents just because they would want me instead of my siblings to go to the shop right around the corner lol. I was so insecure that I would go into the bathroom or my room and hide from family members visiting. It didn't help that I was a lonely kid in school, and my parents were Christian and kind of the cause for what was happening to me, so I kind of had no one to turn too. That resulted in an extremely underage me going online and seeking validation from old disgusting perverts who had no qualms taking advantage of a child. Long story short, I ended up sending a whole lot of child porn nudes to people. That was until I went on grindr and lied to this one particular man. He called out my bs and gave me some advice. Told me to delete the app.

There is a lot to this day that I still struggle with, but after disregarding everyone and focusing primarily on me, I kind of got better. I dropped out of school for my mental health. My parents didn't agree with me. But they didn't understand when I said it was breaking me. That I couldn't take it anymore. So, I took matters into my own hands. They threatened to make me homeless, but I stood my ground, and I'm glad I did, cuz If I didn't... I don't think I'd be here today.

But anyways, as I was saying. It was hard, but I started focusing and lying to myself, till the lies eventually came true. Yes, I still have those days where things are shit, but I'm much better than before.

It took 2 years for me to reconstruct myself, and if it wasn't for Larry, Twiamz, Ravon, Stan(worldofxtra), Megan the stallion, Cardi, Nicki, cupcake, Ethan Jewel and etc. I probably wouldn't have made it lol.

Oh, and I know that you're wondering what the female rappers, and Ethan had to with this lol. Well, It's simple really. They taught me to love myself. To walk my body. They gave me confidence. And stan was like a free, personal therapist lol.

I can't tell you for sure that things will get better, but what I do want you to do is continue to fight. It's okay to feel how you feel and whine, but don't let it fully consume you. There is nothing wrong with going down. Sometimes things are just way beyond fixing. But u only get one life. So, fight like hell for it. Don't worry about the others. Fuck the others. Anybody can be the star when they wear confidence like their skin.

this is probably all over the place, but its raw lol and yes, I know, I say lol a lot😒I do it when I'm anxious.

you are such a sweetheart. i really appreciate you taking the time to say all of that to me and it means a lot that you felt comfortable enough to open up like that. i know it isn’t easy. and i’m really proud of you for getting through all of that, and i’m so glad that you’re feeling better. i’m glad that those people could help you too. i haven’t thought about some of them in a really long time. i’m glad that you can love yourself, because you deserve it. you always have deserved it and you always will. and i appreciate you being so raw with me. i understand about being anxious, and it means more than i could explain that you talked to me at all.

the thing with me though is that i’m just done. i don’t really have it in me to fight like other people do. i’m not sure what it is that i’d be fighting for. i’ve already let all of this consume me, and i know that’s probably disappointing to hear, but it’s true. this is all i think about. for awhile i tried to listen to other people, to people i know care about me, and think that things would get better. but i don’t believe it anymore. not even a little bit. i know that i only get one life, and i think i’m okay with that. i don’t really think there’s anything left for me. i’ve realized that i’m just not going to have what other people have. i won’t ever be this confident and happy person, and that’s okay. i don’t have it in me to keep going anymore. i don’t believe that good things will happen, that things will change or get better. that’s just who i am. i wish i felt differently, you know?

but it’s alright. i love you. thank you for being there for me. you are going to live a beautiful life. and i am grateful that you shared all of that with me <3

[tealfruit]

ok so I've spent most of my life as a fat person. I was a pretty "normal" sized kid up till I was like, idk 9 or 10 or something. then I got chubby. and kept getting chubbier as I got older. I was never huge on diet and exercise but I lead a pretty active lifestyle, and that still did nothing to lower my weight. even when I was working a hard physical labor job I didn't get any smaller. I wasnt like huge, about 280lbs at my biggest with around size 42-44 waist, but certainly enough that I knew I was fat, and certainly enough to make pants shopping a real hassle.

I had accepted this about myself. I was fat. id be fat forever. it's fine, like, I have a lovely fiancee and I don't really mind how I look that much, and it's never been a health issue so, whatever.

then I started testosterone and got on ADHD meds. I don't know which one of those did this, they're the only real lifestyle changes I've made, but ive lost like 50lbs in the past year and a half and it SHOWS. 2x t-shirts are tents on me now, my size 40 pants are just loose enough that I need a belt.

and everyone comments on it. "wow you've slimmed down! you look good, nice job! you must feel so much better too!"

and on the one hand, I am happy about it. I may have accepted that I'd always be fat, and I still know I'll never be skinny (unless I get like, really sick or something, which is not the ideal way to lose weight), but I like that it's easier to find clothes in my size that I like. I like that I could actually buy an electric scooter now, since before I lost the weight I came in a couple dozen pounds over the weight limit of most of them. and I like that my body actually matches the self-image I have in my head, which has always been a little thinner than I actually really was, due to how my weight sits mostly on my front and isn't as obvious unless you see me from the side. so id catch glances of myself in store windows as id pass by and be like Damn. I'm THAT Big, Huh?

but on the other hand I don't want to tie my self-image to my weight. I don't want one to go up when the other goes down. I don't want to hear everyone essentially telling me i was uglier when I was fat, or implying I must be healthier now. I don't want people congratulating me on this completely neutral thing that I didn't even actually do myself, it's just a lucky side effect of fixing other unrelated shit with my body.

and let me also emphasize: I don't feel any healthier from being thinner. I feel healthier mentally because I pass as a man usually and don't experience nearly as much dysphoria, and because I got my ADHD mostly under control. but physically speaking I am just as healthy as I was before. I didn't have any weight-related health issues to begin with, and I'm no more "in shape" than I have ever been. in fact there's probably been times in my life where I've been far more physically fit than I am now, but I was also fatter.

all this to say. we've gotta stop tying weight so closely to health and beauty. those are 3 separate things, they may affect each other in some ways but this idea that the number on the scale is a direct representation of your health or hotness is absolute bullshit and needs to stop.

[toomanytookas]

Hello.

*motions to grab your virtual hand if that's something you're okay with*

I apologise but we are going to be here a very long while because I am NOT NORMAL after reading this MASTERPIECEEEEEEEEE.

You might want to grab a snack...

I have my door to my apartment propped open because it’s really hot at the moment, I have no A/C, and my windows unfortunately barely open. This is relevant because I am worried a neighbor might think I’m torturing a goose or something because I have genuinely been cooing and giggling and making horrible hissing and screeching noises of affection for these two throughout my entire reading of this fic.

First, I just want to give a shout out to the voice you've given Dieter. He's so witty, so funny, so out of left field and yet he feels like such a caring person. I think you've managed to capture his silliness/genuineness duality so, so well.

And it literally feels that way from the jump! This line was just so cute:

right now he thinks the alien overlords could show up, burn his hotel room down and he wouldn’t give a rats ass. He wouldn’t even move from his chair. 

Boy had it bad right away and I love him for it.

And when they video call for the first time???

"Well well well, might have to call a paranormal investigator because I just made contact with a ghost!”

STOP IT. STOP. HIS RIZZ IS TOO OP.

And Ghostie is so funny and sweet, too! It's one thing to say she's a streamer with a good subscriber count, but the fact that you are able to show us why she's gained her fanbase through her wit and humour and care for her followers and the community she's created... it's really excellent. I'd be a subscriber for sure.

Honestly I gotta be careful because I copied down SO many good quotes to potentially tell you I loved as part of this comment, but I don't want this to just be me quoting your work back to you! 😂

I'll move on to other things now!

You do a great job of navigating between all of the different platforms. I never felt lost about which site or chat or space we were in, which I think is particularly impressive given how so much of the early parts of the fic are describing things that are mostly happening in online spaces.

The chat voices are very nicely developed, too, and you capture the frenetic energy and fun of a Twitch/stream chat without replicating how overwhelming/confusing those spaces can be when it's a popular streamer and everyone has something to say.

I also loved your nod to how chat can be a mix of people who 'know your name' know a streamer and people who 'internet' know them. Like in that first stream we see after they've been talking more, that message from Dieter that she can't help but react to but that chat doesn't sense the full weight of was so lovelyyyy. (you are looking extra ethereal today 😭😭😭😭😭)

Speaking of internet knowing people, I thought that you did such a great job of capturing the cautiousness that comes with developing these closer relationships—that wondering about when the right time is to share more of your 'real life' self, that fear of overstepping and being too personal but wanting to get to know someone who you feel incredibly close to...

Like, a major shout out to that moment of Dieter worrying he asked too personal a question and then trying to backtrack by sending a cat meme was perfect. That felt so real.

Also this line was incredible: There is a small but dear step it takes to see more of the person behind the youtube name.

This is the last thing, I promise, because I know this is getting real long (I did warn you!), but I CANNOT finish this comment without fawning over the ROMANCE. THE ROMANCE OF IT ALL.

There were just SO many moments of them falling for each other and being affectionate and silly and happy that felt like your words were just pure serotonin being injected into my brain.

I know I said I didn't want to just quote your work back at you, but I'm going to do a bit more quoting here because there are so many morsels related to their romance that deserve to be cherished. 🥰

Like holy shit this one:

Would you believe me if I said you have been haunting me?” Dieter admits into the quiet space of your bedroom. 

I CANNOT GET OVER HOW VULNERABLE AND SWEET OF A CONFESSION THAT IS.

And the way she later thinks about how much she enjoys his presence in her life??????

Because to know Dieter Bravo is to know he is ridiculous, wild, a bit eccentric, but entirely warm and heartfelt.  You realize you never want to know a day without him. 

Dead. I'm dying. Literally just inserting these quotes into this comment is causing me to wiggle around with happiness all over again.

I'm limiting myself to only one more quote/moment here but please know I could go on for like seven or eight.

I loved the build up to when they met in person. It was so sweet and full of excited nervousness, and I felt like I was right alongside them as that elevator door opened.

And then I loved how gentle and tender that scene was! Like, you could have totally cranked up the heat of that first kiss and taken it in the smutty direction, but I'm SO happy that you went the way you did because it is just so wonderful and romantic and sweet.

Like the way he touches her face????? And then THIS PART EXCUSE ME WHAT:

Dieter kisses your lips gently, once twice, before moving to kiss the corner of your lips, the top of your cheek. He finally kisses your forehead and the tenderness overwhelms your senses.

It's perfect. So so perfect and loving and reverent. It just feels like everything clicking into place, all of the care they had for each other blossoming in this new dimension and cementing what they already knew was there.

*shoves the rest of the quotes to the side to avoid the temptation of writing more*

I'm not going to take up more of your time, but this was magical. Thank you for providing with me such joy from reading it!

Go Play Your Video Games

Summary: As a small time gaming streamer, you like your little cozy corner online. But when a subscriber donates a couple of thousand during a charity stream, he swears it’s because he’s an actor. You know the rule about never truly trusting anything on the internet. So there’s no way an actual actor can be watching you stream, right?

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x YouTuber!Reader

Word Count: 11.4K

Rating: M (18+ only)

Warnings: slight phone sex and allusions to sex, drug mentions, if there is anything I’ve missed please let me know (also sorry no beta reader we embrace the chaos the way dieter would)

A/N: Ok so, reader has a YouTube channel name and nickname but I promise it connects to the story so I just wanted to give that heads up! Second there are game references but nothing extreme or that you need to know for reading this. Third yes the title is based off the song ‘video games’ but i highly recommend Trixie Mattel’s cover of it! Fourth and final this is for @skeletoncowboys and @lowlights - my two lovely angels I truly can’t thank you both enough… this would not be here without y’all, you two are my guiding stars

and to you reading this, thank you 💜

Dieter is worried as balls he’s going to be late.

His manager has been talking for so long now that the dude sounds like a parent from a Charlie Brown special, just mumbling muffled crap that Dieter hasn’t even been listening to since fifteen minutes ago.

“Dieter. Dieter, man are you even paying attention?” His manager snaps and Dieter waves half heartedly at him.

“No.” He answers truthfully while his eyes stay focus on the other side of his laptop screen where the YouTube page is opened. Fuck he’s thankful the screen hasn’t changed. His eyes even stopped trying to flicker between the zoom meeting and the YouTube window. Now he just flat out patiently stares at the load screen buffering. 

“You know what, fine. We’ll just figure this out tomorrow.” His poor manager sighs giving up.

“Yeah I know. I said earlier we should have discussed this tomorrow but whatever, okay bye!” Dieter cries happily and immediately clicks out of the zoom meeting to maximize the other window. The screen however suddenly freezes in the process. 

“God damnit shitty hotel wifi!” Dieter screams horrified, scary movie worthy. 

It’s just a snag of a moment but it is costing him time. He now scrambles to try and do something, anything, to bring the screen to life.

Because he’s been waiting for this moment. 

A face reveal. Your face reveal. 

You normally did all your ‘let’s play’ game streams faceless. You mentioned how you wanted everyone to focus on the game while also admitting that you felt a bit self conscious about showing your face. 

But then the charity stream collab came. 

“If you guys donate and we make it past one thousand dollars I’ll do it. I’ll do a face reveal stream. And who knows, maybe I’ll do a few more if we reach anything past our goal.”

You announced that during the stream a few weeks ago while your character ran around the Sim’s. 

Dieter did not hesitate. He donated the entire thousand himself and added two extra thousand dollars just in case. He even recorded the moment it happened because it was so damn cute. You were so damn cute. 

On stream when you suddenly saw the amount you cough out whatever you were taking a sip from. It made him laugh.

“Okay DB Blaster what the HELL?” Your reaction? Saying his user name? One of his top ten favorite moments of all time for sure.

Now the face reveal stream is here.

He already knows you’re probably beautiful, just knows because he can tell. The energy and aura you give off? Yeah he knows you’re gorgeous. Plus his actors’s intuition is no joke.

But now he gets to know what color your eyes are, how your face looks when it lights up when you laugh. 

And the damn stupid hotel wifi is fucking up his entire LIFE. 

As if nothing, the laptop screen unfreezes and there, the stream pops up. Dieter thinks he actually hears angels singing as the stream loads. 

“Come ON!” He screams at the laptop so tempted to shake it. 

And then, there you are. 

You sit on a cozy gaming chair. The light of your bedroom bathes you in a golden glow as you grin warm. It damn near twinkles in your eyes. 

Dieter inhales so fast his head goes dizzy. His heart suddenly jumps wild as hell in his chest and he’s worried it might fly out of his ass.

Because yeah he knew you were going to be pretty, but he didn’t think you’d be down right gorgeous.

He sits stunned in the nice hotel chair.

A piece of him thinks about that one podcast he listened to on how YouTube culture is meant to distract the masses so the alien overlords could take over easier. But right now he thinks the alien overlords could show up, burn his hotel room down and he wouldn’t give a rats ass. He wouldn’t even move from his chair. 

Because there you are, separated by millions of pixels and glass screens always. And fuck, you are beautiful and his heart now soars far out of his chest.

Dieter happily grabs from the snack pile he curated to perfection for this event. He mindlessly shoves cheezits into his mouth. The salty cheese snack is enough to finally snap him out of the trance you put him under and immediately type something in your chat. 

Streaming started off as a half joke to you. 

During the peak of the pandemic the boredom, as well as the ache to just connect with your friends, is what brought you to live video game streaming.

You had played a few rounds of Mario Kart before with online play. But to fully play multiplayer games over a livestream with your friends? 

That was how Twitch was introduced to you. 

“Let’s just use it to play stupid games together!” Your best friend argued over a voice memo.

Twitch became a simple fun time to play with your friends. You laughed on private streams and enjoyed chasing your friends around trying to figure out who was the killer in Dead by Daylight. 

Then your best friend had the crazy idea of uploading one of the livestreams into the main tag. 

“Dude we’re funny, you are funny! Why not?” 

“If you do that I’m hiding my face.” You vehemently told them.

Now here you are.

A full YouTube channel with 10K followers and doing a full on face reveal. 

If you had told the past you that your friend posting the nightly video game group hang out would have transformed into this, you would have probably passed out. 

But learning how to edit videos, gaining the confidence to post videos, straight up livestream with strangers, many who have now become dear friends since your Twitch days, and even finding friends among other streamers - all of this has led to where you sit now in your cozy gamer chair. 

Because here you are - halcyon ghost. 

And you are trying to keep yourself composed at witnessing chat go up into a whirlwind at finally seeing your face.

butterflybabe: GHOST?? U ARE GORGEOUS

ytgnfjkl: must avert my eyes from someone so pretty

JustCallMeSunny: UHH HAND IN MARRIAGE PLS

doodlenoodles: we gotta cancel ghost now for being too beautiful can we do that? 

khaki345: just proved to all of us those earth angel allegations are true pal

A childish urge to cover your face itches all over your body and you can’t stop smiling.

DB_Blaster: HEY! I knew ghostie would be lovely before everyone else did thank you! 

Then that comment has you smirking as you shake your head seeing the familiar chat name and Roger Rabbit icon. 

Outlandish, a bit eccentric, DB_Blaster appeared around a year ago. 

AJplays, your closest YouTube friend, advised that yes you can make great friends with a lot of subscribers and members. But you still always had to be careful.

“You don’t know who’s on the other side of the screen or chat ya know?” He had told you and you kept that in the back of your head, a silent awareness to always be just a bit careful.

And then DB Blaster weeks ago dropped a few thousand dollars during your livestream and you almost choked on your drink.

A year ago you made a discord server for channel members. There in a private discord chat you messaged the user who casually had donated enough money to make your head spin. 

Halcyonghost: did you seriously just drop 3K

DB_Blaster: excuse you I donated 5k  

Just as fast as he replied, he then donated another two thousand dollars.

DB_Blaster: do you need more? 🥺

You sent back a mess of screaming messages.

Most of them were confused and completely freaking out because who has the money to just drop thousands during a charity YouTube stream? 

Then this dumbass had the audacity to send you back a gif of Garfield shrugging.

After that you couldn’t help but want to find out more about this elusive DB.

Halcyonghost: so are you some sort of mob member? Is there a mobster actually wanting to watch some youtuber play animal crossing?

DB_Blaster: HAHAHAHAHA

DB_Blaster: holy fuck if only

DB_Blaster: but nah ghostie, I’m an actor 😇

That was the first time he said he was an actor and you rolled your eyes. 

Halcyonghost: okay sure, believe the mobster theory even more now 

“He might just be some rich sugar daddy type dude.” AJ told you over a voice memo.

That theory felt closer to being true than the possibility of a real actor messaging you. After that DB slowly began to message at weird times of the day. Once at two in the morning he wished you a good day and sent a link to a weird but super funny tiktok. You also always could count on him to send you some of the most outlandish memes. 

It was cute and endearing in its own way. 

Now as you sort through chat and let the screen load for Stardew Valley an alert pops up on your phone.

Discord Alert: new message 

You covertly go to check it on the desktop. 

DB_Blaster: oh sweet ghostie you have me on my KNEES

DB_Blaster: you are gorgeous 

DB_Blaster: not even Billy Shakes could do your beauty justice 

Your lips fight back a smile as you type your reply back.

Halcyonghost: Billy Shakes?

DB Blaster quickly sends you a glittering photo of William Shakespeare wearing sunglasses. 

You hold back a stupid little giggle and simply decide to jump into playing.  

On stream you run around like crazy trying to fish and end up facilitating a discussion about what maybe do next stream to change things up.

AJPlays: play another horror game you coward

“Don’t be rude!” You wheeze playfully at your friend’s comment. “But I’m open to playing more horror games.”

friedpickle: let’s watch a movie!!

“A movie live watch would be fun.” You offer. “Would be a bit hard since YouTube is ridiculous on copyright movie shit.”

The private discord message notification goes off again.

DB_Blaster: you watch anyone of my movies you wouldn't have to worry about copy right issues I’ld take care of it 

You decide to be a bit playful. 

Halcyonghost: you sure are serious about the whole actor deal huh? 

DB_Blaster: as serious as the Oscar I got 🫡

Now you can’t help but egg him on.

Playfully you reply with the ‘sure Jan’ gif and return to streaming.

The joy of carving out this little space on the Internet for yourself is being reminded how fun it can really be. Sure chat can be a little chaotic to keep up with sometimes, but the conversations are wonderful. It does stun you from time to time to get hit with the realization that real folks watch you, interact with your content and want to talk with you. A fond warmth blooms through your chest even as you frustratedly lose another fish.

That’s when you finally glance at the time on your computer screen. 

“Woah team, why didn’t you guys tell me it was this late?” You announce through a yawn seeing it’s about to be past nine.

“Well,” you begin a bit heartfelt and slowly bare your heart. You explain how you never thought you’d get this brave to become a streamer, much less show your face. You sincerely thank everyone who watches, interacts and makes this little nook of the internet so special for you. 

Chat blows up and giddiness overwhelms you at the response.

So many cute hearts and massive sweet messages.

AJPlays: LOVE YOU!!

sam maybe: nothing but love for you!

It’s all a beautiful reminder that yeah being online sometimes is good.

As you log off chat you reach for your phone. A few emails from work, texts from your parents, and a couple of alerts from discord wait for you. You check the main server chat first.

doodlenooodles: we should make this day a national holiday -national halcyon ghost face day reveal 

JustAshley: agreed 

An amused snort escapes you and you move to check the few private discord messages you have.

One is AJ screaming his demand for you to play another horror game along with sending a photo of his partner's sweet dog.

Then two messages wait for you from DB Blaster.

The first is a photo.

A very prestigious Oscar award gleams on a mantle. An opened bag of chips casually is crunched beside it. From how shiny it glistens in the light, the award looks official. Not believing it for a second though, you click on the photo to investigate. You zoom in on the award where the name can be made out even in the gleam of the light.

Academy Award Winner

“Hunger Strike”

Dieter Bravo  

“Wait.” You admit outloud.

Why did that name sound familiar?

You google the name and up pops the very handsome veteran actor. You suddenly remember the ads he was in for that Beast Cliff movie your best friend raved were pure delicious golden trash.

There is no way it’s that guy. 

Halcyonghost: That’s a good replica lol are you a big fan of his?

DB_Blaster: definitely not a replica and I guess you could say that lol 👀 

His profile name now made sense. This guy had to be a huge fan of Dieter Bravo. You could respect that. 

DB_Blaster: on another note! I’m glad you did a face reveal, you really are so attractive like wowza

A bit forward, you thought. But he’s quick to apologize.

DB_Blaster: shit sorry I don’t wanna be creepy

DB_Blaster: I just remember how nervous and hesitant you were about ever showing your face and now you getting to this point? rad as fuck 

A sweet appreciation unfolds over you fast, sweetening your teeth as if you had just taken a bite out of your favorite cake. 

This person has been with you for around a year now. So for him, along with all the other members that have stuck around, to recognize this moment is just as big of a deal for you as it was for them is incredible. The true depth of your emotions feel too big to be captured by words. 

Halcyonghost: aw shucks thank you

You explain how as nervous you were, by the time stream hit the hour mark everyone made it feel like you were back to streaming with your friends. You happily embrace that feeling

DB_Blaster: awww you like us! 🥹♥️

Halcyonghost: Of course! Everyone who comes to stream and interacts is what pushes creators like us & I never want to forget or take for granted anyone who views my work 

You were lucky and grateful for the sweet community that’s grown with you.

DB_Blaster: wow, pretty poetic and sentimental ghostie I like it

DB_Blaster: 🥰

You smirk cause it’s not even that poetic but you don’t have the energy to correct him. It’s getting late and you want to start heading to bed.

DB_Blaster: can I ask you something? Since you’re being sentimental and what not.

DB_Blaster: and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but I’ve always want to know

DB_Blaster: why did u get into streaming?

Why did you get into streaming and YouTube?

DB_Blaster: fuck shit I’m sorry if that was too invasive

He even sends a worried cat face picture. 

What a question to ask though. You thought you had discussed this on stream or even on a previous video before. Now you wonder if maybe you hadn’t mentioned it. All your friends knew about how you got to this point. They were the aid and the only reason why you got the push anyway. 

Halcyonghost: No worries its all good

Halcyonghost: guess like everyone else the pandemic kinda just pushed me to try new things, decided to play on twitch with friends on a private stream and then a few streams later my best friend decides to post it on a main tag and it blows up

Halcyonghost: then one brave fuck it decision later a YouTube channel is born and here we are lol

Halcyonghost: sorry if that’s not too exciting 

DB_Blaster: no that’s everything

DB_Blaster: it’s special knowing this turned into something meaningful for you it’s great  

It catches you off guard at how endearing the message is.

Halcyonghost: wow that’s real sweet thank you ♥

You mean that reply.

After you brush your teeth, you pass out in your bed forgetting to see if he replied back. Strangely enough, the image of a golden Oscar lingers in the back of your mind.

The beautiful moments of enjoying streaming, of getting to bask in how special this little outlet, are what you treasure. But those moments when work, life, clash with your little carved out corner it reminds you that sometimes you need to step away from everything for a bit.

Halcyon Ghost: hey guys, tough day at work today… going have to reschedule stream :( real sorry about this!!

The replies are sweet, reassuring along with some humorous ones. One comes from your mystery man on a private discord message. 

DB_Blaster: do you need me to take someone out? 

It’s enough to make you laugh and a relaxed ease melts away some of your stress. 

Halcyonghost: Tempting! But stand down Don Corleone

DB_Blaster, catching your godfather reference, sends you a gif of the classic ‘‘leave the gun take the cannoli’ scene. 

DB_Blaster: sorry work was so tough, anything I can do to help?

You thank him and explain how it’s just work stuff getting you down. Of course you make the joke about one day becoming a full time streamer because every little YouTuber at one point wonders about the life of having that as their job.

DB_Blaster: you should, I’d support you. No lie. 

You’re about to dig into the takeout you order and you’re thankful you didn’t take a bite because you would have coughed out a little laugh at seeing that message. 

Halcyonghost: Ahh yes forgot… talking to a scary rich mobster here lol   

He sends a gif of Marlon Brando’s Don Corleone and it does make you giggle. 

DB_Blaster: but seriously, you ever need anything

DB_Blaster: I know it sounds weird but pls let me know okay??

It’s oddly sweet. But of course you sharply remember how this guy donated thousands easily and it only intensely rattles your mind thinking about what kind of man this guy is. 

Halcyonghost: thank you ♡

Halcyonghost: so…what do you seriously do? Besides being a mobster obsessed with one random actor lol 

DB_Blaster: Rude!!

DB_Blaster: and I told you

DB_Blaster: I am a thespian ghostie babe 😎

He really is sticking to that. 

You want to poke fun but you also understood not wanting to discuss personal aspects. So you apologize for asking. He doesn’t reply for a full ten minutes and you now wonder if maybe you could be upsetting him. 

Discord alert: DB_Blaster sent you a voice message!

That new alert now makes you eve more worried.

You scramble to grab your headphones and you don’t know why your heart is hammering so much. You don’t hesitate to listen to the voice chat. 

“Ghostie.” The voice that greets you is pure smooth goodness. Thick, manly and older, and something feels as if it is being yanked out of your chest fast. 

“I swear I’m an actor.” He urges with a laugh. “Do you want me to send you my IMDB page? Or you know what, maybe this might help.”

The voice chat ends and you see the bubbles pop up suggesting he is typing a message in the discord chat.

A photo pops up.

The man in it is scruffy, a bit sleepy looking with bed head type hair. He holds up a peace sign and grins at you. This man is also gorgeous. Deep dark brown eyes and a sharp striking nose, for some reason his voice perfectly fits his features. 

His face again seems so familiar.

DB_Blaster: SEE! It me :) 

You can’t even reply to that yet.

You go back to googling the name that had first appeared when you saw that academy award.

Dieter Bravo.

The mess of paparazzi photos, screenshots from movies, to various interview clips, the man is the same as the one in the photo sent to you. 

This has to be a catfish. Someone really trying to keep their identity hidden and deciding to do some old fashion celebrity role play type deal.

You decide to do a deep dive. 

You check Twitter and find he’s not there any more. His Instagram is bare minimum and hasn’t seen a recent post since 2019. He has been included on a few TikToks. But to say that photo sent could be an older Instagram or Twitter photo Dieter Bravo took is too much.

You try turning your brain off from thinking about streaming or a possible catfish living in your messages. But curiosity scratches at you like an anxious kitten. There’s no way it could be the actual actor Dieter Bravo. 

Barely one episode into your favorite comfort series rewatch, you decide to check discord.

More messages wait for you. 

DB_Blaster: I know you think I’m lying

DB_Blaster: but I am not I swear! I vow on my life! 

DB_Blaster: if you feel comfortable enough you are more than welcome to video call me and see me with your own pretty eyes 😇

You want to scream.

There’s no way. But, what could you lose if you video chat with this person? Worst case? You drop the video call, block him on every account and pretend this never happened. Best case? You don’t even want to think about that because a best case feels so outlandish. 

Electricity hums through your veins and you sit up straight on your couch. 

You hit video call.

Loudly your heart hammers a vicious beat in your ears. The video chat rings twice. Someone answers.

There he is. 

Dieter Bravo, in the flesh, talking so bright and amused. His smile crinkles his deep eyes and the crisp light of his kitchen highlights his stunning features.

“Well well well, might have to call a paranormal investigator because I just made contact with a ghost!”

He talks first, so excited and haughty, and you can’t help it.

You hang up the video call.

Wild electrified clusters of emotions course through you so strong it feels as if your brain might shut down. 

Dieter Bravo. 

Dieter Bravo is a viewer of your channel and is who you have been chatting with.

You call him back. You have to make sure this is real and maybe not just a wild delusion.

Dieter Bravo again answers with the most Cheshire Cat pleased smile.

“Trouble with your wifi? I get it.” He asks so casually.

You really can’t believe it.

“You’re…you’re HOLY FUCK?” You scream.

Dieter barks a laugh.

“And here I was thinking I’d be the one freaking out.” He’s amused and it is so clear in the twinkle of those warm charcoal eyes.

“I told you I wasn’t lying ghostie!” Dieter urges excited. 

You could admit and testify that yes, known actor and academy award winner Dieter Bravo is not a liar. And also apparently, he is a fan of part time game streamers.

“I can’t believe it.” You mutter still stunned as hell.

“Believe it ghostie.” He replies swiftly.

“So how was your day before it got turned upside down?” He smirks proud. Even with that you find he is so casual and actually friendly? He mentions how his day went and how he’s excited to feast on the Taco Bell he door dashed. 

“How did…How did you even find my channel?” You breathlessly ask.

“Oh, we’re getting into the personal stuff already? I was hoping we’d get to that maybe by our second date but this is fantastic.” He replies back taking a bite out of the Taco Bell he told you he ordered.

“Oh my god.” You sputter out not even processing fully what he’s saying because this entire moment feels outrageous. 

He’s a celebrity. A full on icon who has been in the same room as Meryl Streep and here he is grinning at you like he’s won the lotto. 

“You know you’re even cuter than you are on stream. Really diggin’ the extra cozy vibes from my favorite cozy gamer.”

You wonder if maybe you should hang up on him again. 

“Let’s be serious here.” You huff. You just want to find out and piece together how this man found his way to you.

“Honestly?” He begins after taking a swig of a baja blast. 

“I had a bad break up a while back.” Dieter starts with a brisk and slightly detached voice. 

“Thought it’d be a long haul thing but…it’s whatever.” His voice drifts off as he moves to sit down. Dieter places his phone across from him so now it feels as if he is sitting across from you. The view gives you a full sight of his wild and vast Taco Bell haul. You also don’t miss the weed pipe resting beside his Baja blast. 

“Anyway, I was up late one night, couldn’t sleep. Went to look up a video about how humanity could possibly survive a kraken emerging from the depths of the sea, as one wonders about at three in the morning.”

A wild laugh almost escapes you, but you stay composed as best as you can.

“And then, the freaky as fuck YouTube algorithm decides to recommend me your video.” Dieter says.

“Wait.” Your voice sounds small, as if you’re afraid to shatter this moment. “Which one?”

You watch this handsome man’s face grow soft as his eyes look distant. He dives in to take a scoop out of his nacho pile and munch happily.

You already hate how attractive he is just eating. 

“It was the ‘I make a gay love cafe for my animal crossing villagers’ one.” His voice drips with evident fondness. For some reason though, just hearing the title of your video along with his soft voice does it for you. You start giggling. 

Maybe it’s the disbelief finally settling in or the exhaustion from the hard day you had, but you laugh and it aches your stomach. Dieter joins in thankfully laughing just as much as you are. 

It’s unreal, a twinkling moment you know you’ll never be able to capture again but it’s oddly wonderful.

“I guess you liked it?” You ask through a wheeze.

“Ghostie, I snorted a shit ton of coke just so I could stay awake till five am to binge all your videos.” He admits through a giggle.

“Holy shit!” You cough out a bit stunned at his reply.

“Well,” You manage to recompose yourself and even smile grateful because you are. “Sorry about the break up, those are always shit. But…I am glad you found my little video. Weird as that sounds.”

“It’s not weird.” Dieter reassures you and it knocks you breathless how directly he stares at you. You almost feel exposed. 

“It’s kismet, dear ghost.” Dieter tells you with so much eased simplicity it sounds a bit comedic. You can’t help but snort.

It might not be kismet but it was something.

Dieter and you end up messaging each other, constant and steady after that. He begins sending you pictures of the sky outside his LA apartment during his runs. One of them is a glorious tangerine lemonade sky.

DB_Blaster: sky kinda looks like a musty day old orange outside today, it’s kinda nice 

There’s a neighborhood cat he always gets excited to see and gladly sends you photos of the unamused white feline whenever he spots her.

You tell him about your day and you are surprised he balances asking about your videos and streaming to asking genuine questions about how you are doing. Interestingly enough you ask more questions about what video games.

“I’m a fucking killer at Mario kart. Love The Sims, the grim reaper is my roommate there.” Figures.

“One day I wanna play Mario Party.” He gladly tells over a voice chat. 

“Oh my god you’d be ridiculous at Mario party.” You snicker back. “And the sims…it fits you.”

“Thank you.” He proudly replies and it makes you grin so ridiculously.

Dieter Bravo is charming, but you know he is. You would never admit it to him but that night, that first night after you discovered Dieter was in fact DB_Blaster, you went on an entire Dieter Bravo interview deep dive. 

You watched how personable he could be with someone interviewing him. But you also witnessed the side of him that could be a real ass. There was an old Rolling Stone article you read briefly that described him as “an enigma of a man you’d run into at a bathroom and believe you fever dreamed the entire interaction” and that entirely described Dieter perfectly.

By the time your weekly night stream arrives, you can’t help but think of him. He promised you he would be present. 

“Ghostie I’ve only missed ONE of your streams and it was only because I was on shrooms and got explosive diarrhea. Not a good night for me.”

It horrified you hearing that but also had you holding back the giggles because the earnestness in his voice was so pure. 

Dieter Bravo is a pure enigma of a man for sure.

You decide to stream again with your face camera on to embrace the weight and joy of being known. And also because a secret, but very aware part of you, knows Dieter Bravo watches you. 

Your mind wanders to the photos of him at the academy awards. You honestly stared at those for a good few minutes because you could get over how much of a god he looked in his striking tux. 

You also think of the one day he video chatted with you. Obvious coke residue was dusted on his nose and he wore a Golden Girl’s shirt that had Cheeto dust on it. Even witnessing that side of him, a deep fondness and even deeper attraction for this chaotic cluster of a man infects you rapidly. 

Drop kicking those thoughts away, you jump into playing Tears of the Kingdom. A small discussion buzzes in the chat about which of Zelda’s outfits are the best. You go to check on chat and your heart jumps straight into your throat seeing the familiar user name now among the bunch. 

DB_Blaster: Ghostieeeee, my dear you are looking extra ethereal today 🥰 

A sharp heat spreads over your cheeks and a giddiness surges through you.

“Moron.” You snicker mainly to yourself even though you know chat probably caught it.

An alert pops up from discord. You click onto it quickly and find a private message. 

DB_Blaster: you’re adorable when you get flustered 

You are falling down a dangerously slippery slope for this dumb actor. Mentally you want to sink your fingers onto a ledge to stop yourself from going into a free fall.

You simply reply back with a silly nonsense gif because it’s all you can muster. 

Stream goes smoothly and you call it in early for the night. Another discord message awaits you and this time you already know who it’s from.

DB_Blaster: what’s the one thing you need the most for streaming?

That stuns you.

When you took the jump into streaming you promised yourself you’d only get the basics and nothing too expensive. Because sure, as much as you would love to spend a couple extra bucks on a better microphone, better software, or even a full time editor you had bills to pay, snacks to buy.

You simply reply back that better audio would be nice.

DB_Blaster: wait how do you buy better audio? 🗣️

You laugh and find it so easy to video call him now. 

When he answers, Dieter is not in his lavish LA apartment but a similarly lavish and sleek hotel.

“Hi ghostie.” He grins. 

“Wait where are you?” 

“Rude! Did you forget I had an audition for a new Broadway production?!” Dieter gasps hurt. 

“No, I remembered! I was just surprised you didn’t fly back home already.” 

He scoffs. “No way, and miss getting some New York pizza? Plus I’m lazy and just would rather deal with LAX tomorrow.”

As you snicker you decide to settle in for the night. Propping him up against your mirror in the bathroom Dieter suddenly gasps again.

“Am I in your bathroom?! We haven’t even gone on a proper date yet!” 

“I’m gonna hang up on you.” You smirk, shaking your head. 

A thought suddenly trickles in. You think of AJplays and a few other streamers who are now all your dear friends. There is a small but dear step it takes to see more of the person behind the youtube name.

So you take that step. You give Dieter your real name.

“You can call me that now.” You try to be eased with it as you go to wash your face for the night until you catch how direct Dieter stares at you.

He repeats your name, breathing it out on an exhale that sounds reverent. It galvanizes your heart into a dangerous spring. 

“Yup, that’s me.” You weakly reply.

“Your name suits you.” Dieter sincerely says. 

“Thanks. Halcyon Ghost is my middle name.” 

That makes Dieter laugh and you hate the excitement rushing in you from making him laugh.

Dieter Bravo is truly such a wild but interesting man. He has told you about the time he almost jumped into the water fountain at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. Then over a video call he softly revealed how he wants to create art, performances, that connect with people even long after his soul has passed into the next dimension. 

“S’why I got into acting.” He had said so simply. 

You can’t believe this strange endearing man now sits in your phone urging you to do a cliché beauty influencer talkthrough of your night time routine. 

You raise up your boring moisturizer with the peeling label in the way you had seen in TikToks and videos. However your lack of enthusiasm immediately has Dieter and you busting out wild giggles like school children trying to keep quiet in a library. 

Eventually you and him settle into a comfortable eased conversation.

“So you talked about audio earlier…what do you need for better audio?” Dieter of course brings that up again. 

“Eh, a better microphone, or some sound mixing equipment. But like I said, I'm good with what I have.” You are. 

“I could get you something nicer.” His voice echoes off the walls of your small bathroom and your eyes go wide.

“Uh no!” You chide him. “Please don’t buy me things!”

“Why?” He debates simply.

“Because…because I said so!” You sputter back. Because the thought of this gorgeous man spending money on you is making your knees want to buckle.

“Aren’t we friends? Friends buy each other things.” Dieter replies stubbornly. 

“Not new hundred dollar mics!” You fire back just as stubbornly.

“Oh they’re only a hundred dollars? Baby that’s nothing.” He scoffs. But the new nickname he so casually calls you rips a new heat through your body. It crawls up your spine and makes your throat going dry. 

You stay quiet not knowing what to say or not trusting what you might say.

“Did I upset you ghostie?” Dieter asks playful but the concern is there.

“No, I'm just tired.” You lie.

“Uh huh.” He doesn’t believe you for a second and you know it.

“Come on,” you grab him from his perch against your mirror and give him a sleepy grin. “Bed time.”

“Are you taking me to bed now, little ghost!? If I knew we were taking this step I would’ve ordered us dinner before!” Dieter exclaims again dramatically and over the top. 

You laugh in disbelief and settle against your bed frame.

“You moron.” You can’t help but sigh fondly.

“Yeah your moron.” He offers back gently. 

Was he slowly becoming yours, or were you just becoming his? All you can do is grin soft at him and shrug. 

“So, you wearing any cute underwear?” He flat out asks. You place your phone down and away from you on the blanket as if to put him in timeout.

Dieter barks a hilarious and loud laugh that fills your room with warm energy you can almost hold in your hands.

You pick up the phone and glare at him.

“You better behave.” You chide him with no malice because your mind is still trying to settle down from the question he asked. 

“I will, I will. I swear on my Oscar.” Dieter reassures. It only makes you roll your eyes. 

“Tell me why you picked your YouTube name, halcyon ghost.” He says your channel name with proper grand bravado.

It was October when you made the channel. Your thoughts immediately went to something spooky. You also explained how you always thought the word ‘halcyon’ was nice.

“So why not.” You finish explaining a bit anticlimactic.

“Did you know the word comes from some like Greek myth too?” Dieter offers then happily jumps in to retell it.

“Halcyon was the name of some bird. It had the ability to calm rough seas whenever it went to nest or some shit. It’s why the word ‘halcyon’ means tranquility and peace.”

Everytime you are reminded of how worldly and sometimes sagely this ridiculous man can be it knocks something solid through your chest. 

“That’s beautiful.” You admit. 

Dieter hums thoughtful. “Yeah.” 

His eyes suddenly flicker to unflinching look to you. It is just you and him staring so directly at each other. But you can’t hold his gaze for long. You blink away, not even truly focusing on anything. 

“So no true poetic meaning picking ‘ghost’?” Dieter asks now interested and curious. 

You laugh. “I mean, not really?”

You could probably do some deep analysis and talk about how as a creator, it’s easy to feel like a ghost when there is no interaction with the content created. 

You wanted to keep your face, your identity, a bit hidden so the ghost image fit.

“But you know how that went.” You joke.

He snickers.

“Ghosts also haunt things.” Dieter offers with a light tone.

“They do.” You nod.

“Would you believe me if I said you have been haunting me?” Dieter admits into the quiet space of your bedroom.  

Your heart trips, skips a beat and you try to control your face but it’s so hard when your eyes snap to his fast.

A moment passes with his wonderfully magnetic eyes again staring at you but now he seems to be waiting for you to say something, anything. Even over a simple video chat the atmosphere in your room thickens, becomes hazy, and it begins to sink beneath your skin. 

All you can do is nervously laugh. “I’d say that’s a good one and you should save it for chat.”

Humor, it’s all that you have sometimes. Plus, you don’t know if he is being serious or playful. It’s hard to find the hard line between the two when he’s an actor, a man known for putting up fronts. Because even though you now see him as a friend, there is still a strange space between you and him that you want to cautiously navigate. It feels like a deep river that if you take one more step into you might fall into a rushing tide. 

Dieter hums and you don’t miss how his eyes immediately lower a bit downcast.

“I’ll let you go for the night ghostie.” Dieter mutters. 

The tension does not leave your room even when the video calls leaves and it makes your skin crawl.

You are at a company dinner Friday night when the email comes.

“Hi Halcyon Ghost

Exciting news! Here is your invitation to this year’s VidCon held in Los Angeles California!”

It is a clash of two worlds and you can’t focus your excitement into anything without making one of your coworkers confused.

AJ already has messaged you screaming with his excitement over you and him receiving the same invite.

You and him already start screaming a plan to meet up and room together.

For some reason your mind jumps to Dieter. 

You want to tell him, want to freak out the same way you did when he proudly called you to announce he got the broadway part he auditioned for. He’s become such a strange but solid facet in your life it almost aches how badly you want him more than anything. 

Because you’re still at dinner you decide to message him quick and fast in discord. So fast you don’t even remember what you sent. By the time you return to your apartment you find a mess of messages waiting for you.

DB_Blaster: MY DEAR GHOST?? EXCUSE ME?!?!?!

DB_Blaster: WHAT A PRO! WHAT AN ICON!!!

DB_Blaster: 🎉C O N G R A T S 🎉 BABY!!!

DB_Blaster: GHOSTIE!!! CALL ME NOW!!

You do so eagerly.

“Uh hello?” He answers in a bad accent that you vaguely remember from that bad Cliff beast whatever movie. “Is this pro gamer halcyon ghost? Now famous VidCon invitee?”

You laugh is bright and loud and you don’t care.

“I can’t believe it!” You cry. “Me, AJ, and a few of our other friends got the invite! I mean it’s just an invite and it’s not much but-“

“No,” he cuts you off sharply and even frowns. “Don’t do that, give yourself credit. Your content is awesome as fuck and you deserve this!” 

Your face drops because he sounds so sincere.

He notices it too. Over the phone’s screen you watch as Dieters eyes flicker and scan over your face so intently.

“God I’m so fucking proud of you.” He breathes out and it makes your spine snap straight.

“Dieter…” you exhale and now catch that familiar shift coming in the air. Even over the video chat you again sense it, something brewing and becoming uncontainable, stretching thin as if it's a wire maybe about to snap. 

Then your phone rings.

You cuss sharp under your breath.

Your best friend’s hilarious photo pops up on your phone. You know the call is to congratulate you on the invite. But you know there’s something even more pressing here sitting in the air between you and Dieter. You don’t want to avoid it anymore. The elated energy, the buzz of the high, makes you want to face whatever this is head on, to dive right into whatever is brewing beneath the tides. 

Your eyes shoot an apologetic look to Dieter. An understanding but little crooked grin paints his features and makes him look so boyish. 

“Text me back or call me when you can.” 

Dieter hangs up and you already ache for the actor you’ve grown so deeply fond of.

The phone call with your best friend is wonderful, joyous, and you appreciate the support like this in your life. But it’s getting late and you can’t help but think about the actor still possibly waiting for you. 

So you grasp onto the exuberant energy still humming through your system. You harness it with all your might and immediately call him. You chide yourself for getting caught up in the excitement and not video calling him. 

Then Dieter answers.

“Ghostie?” He sounds wrecked, out of breath.

“Hi yeah, it’s me. Sorry, am I interrupting something?” You offer small and so worried now. 

Until he sighs and it sounds soaked in sex, so delicious and dangerous.

“Baby…” he sighs your name out and it has never sounded more sacred. 

“You gotta know,” Dieter whines. “You gotta know how much I want you.”

You are sent out of orbit. Your mind, your body, all melt as everything inside you ignites in a fierce flame. 

A few weeks ago you learned one of Dieter’s movies involved a heated sex scene.

After searching and finally finding the clip, it shot the strongest dosage of arousal through your body at a dizzying speed. You rewatched it an embarrassing amount of times, more than you even want to admit to yourself. You thought about how fierce and consuming he kissed his costar. And now those scenes vividly flash in your head, begging you to fall into the beautiful abyss creeping up below you.

“Dieter.” You reply a bit choked. 

The faint wet noise of his hand stroking his cock comes and it makes you swallow back a whine.

“Wanted you for so long, think about you all the time.” Dieter mutters in a trance. 

“I…” there’s so much you want to say, so much you want to discuss. But heat licks a blazing path through your veins. It makes your underwear sticky and so wet already. All those hesitations and all thoughts you had flutter away. 

“Don’t think,” Dieter coos like a soft siren begging you to join him. “Just feel, come on baby. Feel with me.”

So you do. Your hand slips greedily beneath your underwear and you feel everything right there with him in the warm glow of your bedroom.

Sunday night you are on a discord voice call with Dieter as he waits out his canceled flight.

After not talking to him all Saturday he was the one to finally break and call you first. You’re surprised you even answered. 

“I can hear you thinking ghostie.” Dieter hums amused.

It’s been on your mind this entire time since Friday, since the phone sex - the thought of whatever you and him are becoming, have now become.

“Talk to me.” He offers soft, soft like the way he wishes you good night over voice memos every night now.

“Do you think about how we have like…different layers? Like I know your job is literally about being someone else. And I understand you present yourself a certain way even in interviews and you aren’t even your true self there-”

“If you watch that one buzzfeed interview I did high I think you’d recant your words baby.” He jokingly interjects and you snort. 

“You know what I mean.” You gently return back to the thought you’ve been wanting to discuss with him. 

“And with me, I know I have layers of how I’m perceived online and I just…” your voice trails off now thinking you might be getting caught up in your words. 

“You think we’re both just caught up in the projected perceptions of the other huh?” Dieter muses. 

It again startles you how perceptive he is.

If there is anything that you would have not pictured Dieter Braver to be, it's perceptive. But he is. This is of course the same man who told you how he once drank a Baja blast out of a black licorice because he wondered if the flavor would change. But he’s also deeply intuitive, even a bit wise, and those traits shine so warmly now.

“Ghostie,” he begins and then says your real name. “Remember when I told you how I found your videos? How I said it was…wait fuck what did I say it was like?”

“Kismet,” you smirk saying the word.

“Yeah that’s it thank you baby!” Dieter cheers. “Okay anyway, I said that ‘cause it’s true. Your video was like…some damn lifeline I didn’t know I fucking needed. Finding you felt like I was returning from a haze.”

Confliction bubbles in you with an acidic wave. Pride, gratitude, and even deep admiration rise up all for him but it also strongly clashes with the fierce realist in you. 

“And then I got to know you.” He adds firm. “I learned what your favorite take out meal is. I still remember the story you told me about your most embarrassing moment. I learned about the movies you love and the ones you hate.”

Hours were spent discussing movies. You should have known any movie talk with an actor would result in hour long debate over which Lord of the Rings movie is best since Dieter swears it’s the first. 

“I know you.” He urges.

“I mean, I don’t know who your favorite teacher was and shit but I…I think I know you. You’re now not just the cute as fuck streamer who brought me out of my dumps. You’re someone who’s been brigtening the FUCK out of my life just from hearing you talk about what you plan to get at the grocery store.”

You don’t realize you’re on the verge of tearing up until you blink and find tears blurring your vision.

“Still can’t believe you donated that much.” You sniffle.

“Yeah but doing that let us all see your lovely face so ha.” Dieter replies haughtily.

“Look baby, let’s just keep getting to know and grow with each other, yeah?” He offers in a hopeful and warm tone that reminds you of a tangerine sunrise. 

“Yeah.” You agree and gently walk into that tangerine sunrise.

“Now will you let me buy you some new audio shit?” He asks in an annoying childish high pitch voice and the soft moment gets squashed. But it is pure Dieter. 

“You moron.” You choke out through an affectionate laugh.

“Yeah your moron ghostie!” He exclaims with all his might.

“Please tell me you did not just yell that in the middle of an airport.”

“Oh you know I’ve acted worse in an airport. That was nothing.” He scoffs.

You do know. Dieter explained, even sent articles, about how he ran around the Denver Airport once trying to see if there were actual lizard people in the tunnels. It’s why he is forever banned there.

Remembering that solidifies his words.

To know someone is a blessing, a privilege, even if the stories surrounding them are so wild and ridiculous. Maybe even more so with this man.

Because to know Dieter Bravo is to know he is ridiculous, wild, a bit eccentric, but entirely warm and heartfelt. 

You realize you never want to know a day without him. 

That thought blooms into firm wonderful roots that immediately grow in your heart’s chambers.

By the time VidCon approaches only a month away you, Dieter is now simply calling you over your phone. Discord voice and video chats no more. 

“So what are your LA plans?” Dieter asks while chewing through some jerky.

“Well AJ and I already got a room booked by the convention center so that’s my biggest relief.” You and AJ already had excitedly joked about maybe running into a celebrity. A part of you even now has to suppress giggling at just thinking about how you have daily phone calls with a known celebrity buzzfeed articles have deem ‘Sexy AF.’ 

Except right now said celebrity burps disgustingly loud in your ear.

“Dieter, gross.” You frown. 

“Sorry babe…Anyway,” Dieter bounces back quickly. “Want me to pick you up from the airport?”

You almost drop your phone.

“Honey what?” You wheeze out.

“I love it when you call me honey!” He gushes so obnoxiously. You’ve been calling him honey for months now and it never fails he says this every time.

“Focus Bravo.”

“Yeah okay,” he sighs. “As I was saying, let me just pick you up from the airport.”

The thought of finally seeing him in person freezes you. After months of doing the long distance thing, having incredible phone and video sex, everything now settles in you fast. From your excitement, to the fear of him actually seeing you in person-

“Ghostie.” Dieter breaks into your thoughts with a sing song like tone.

You sigh now “Sorry honey.”

Dieter giggles dreamily. “Honey.”

You sigh again. 

“Let me pick you up baby.” He suddenly purrs low as if he wasn’t just giggling like a lovesick fangirl a split second before. 

It would solve your issue about dealing with a ride share or even the horrifying thought of getting a rental. 

“Sure, why not.”

Dieter screams loud as if his favorite sports team just scored but Dieter doesn’t care for sports and you hang up your phone.

He simply now texts you: [See you at stream tonight babeyyy]

You playfully reply back: [not if i block you 😊]

He simply sends back a gif of a dumb minion blowing a kiss and you now really contemplate blocking him.

Later that night on stream, as you play the most recent Pokémon game, you see Dieter’s name pop up.

DB_Blaster: hello beautiful my ghost 

You hid your smirk behind the hand your face is leaning on.  

Chat of course ignores him while they excitedly continue to send encouraging words about the upcoming VidCon trip. A few members even eagerly hope they can run into you at the convention. It is exciting and reminds you of the exciting energy that awaits before a big vacation.

Then a chime comes from chat.

This one alerts you that someone sent a super chat, which includes a donation with it.

Your eyes readily flicker over to check and thank whoever sent it. Then your eyes almost pop out of your socket.

DB_Blaster - $900 super chat! 

“What the fuck!?” You can’t help but flat out shriek. 

Thankfully chat reacts just as wild.

butterflybabe: dude db_blaster can you like adopt me??

justAshley: I am manifesting this type of energy to find me oh my god

You scramble quickly to your phone to text him in all caps about what the fuck does he think he’s doing.

[Dieter: for ur mic and audio shit baby!]

[Dieter: Don’t think I forgot 🥰]

[Dieter: or for maybe a new vibrator hmm 👀????]

You swallow back the scream you want to let out and instead slam your phone back down.

Recovering fast you grin at the chat. 

“Don’t worry everyone, DB Blaster is actually my estranged rich grandmother, so let’s all say thank you to her! Thank you grandma!” You smile bright and wide on camera. 

Dieter straight up calls you in the middle of the stream and you can’t help it. You laugh and almost knock over your microphone. 

After scrambling for the days off, shoving everything into a suitcase, suddenly the month is over and you are landing in Los Angeles ready for VidCon. 

LAX is an experience, like a whole world encapsulated in one place.

There is a MAC makeup store, a Michael Kors and then a Jersey Mikes. You don’t want to wander around too much before getting lost in its depths. You can almost hear Dieter’s voice rattling off in your head, warning you not to get lost or else the alien creatures living in the airports will grab you and make you play monopoly with them like a scene out of a bad 80’s Sci Fi movie. 

Thankfully you don’t have to wait too long to actually hear his voice. Your phone rings and you rapidly scramble to answer it.

“Hello?” You breathlessly answer.

“Baby,” His voice is drenched in disappointment and so much heartbreak. “My ghostie…Fuck I’m so sorry I can’t make it.”

You knew he would be cutting it close with his photoshoot.

“Honey it’s okay I promise.” You reassure him but you still are a bit heartbroken. Your excitement escapes you like a deflated balloon getting caught up in the ceiling of the Los Angeles airport.

“I’ll make it up to you I swear!” Dieter urges with devout conviction.  

You know he will, in his own Dieter way and that’s enough to comfort you. 

The walk to the rideshare pickup area is solemn but you carry yourself and your luggage with gathered dignity. Thankfully your Uber driver is sweet and you enjoy the chat during the drive. She happily suggests restaurants and different bars to check out making the trip to the hotel not too bad.

Finding AJ already in the lobby waiting for you makes the journey even better. After the hilarious freak out for finally meeting, you now eagerly discuss dinner plans with him.

“Maybe we can go food truck hunting?!” AJ offers excitedly.

You agree with just as much excitement and move to open the door.

There in the room a full array of colors explode before your eyes. So many flowers cover almost every surface of the hotel room. Their arrangements are large and fan out with flair. From gorgeous deep crimson roses to colorful lilies vibrantly begging to be smelled, it overwhelms you but in the best way.

“Okay, what the fuck?!” AJ cries. “Is this because we’re here for VidCon?!”

You want to think it is. But the teddy bear almost the size of the hotel wall nestled happily in the corner says otherwise. Especially because the sweet bear rocks some cool bright neon sunglasses, wears an ‘I ♥️ LA’ t-shirt and has a rolled up white paper taped to his mouth as a mock joint. 

Your eyes however now go straight to the sweet little bundle of flowers, your favorite actually, that sit patiently on the coffee table.

A white folded note rests among the flowers.

‘Ghostie’ the handwriting is sleek but messy, scribbled fast but with intent. The sight of it already clogs your throat because it’s exactly how you’d picture Dieter’s handwriting.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it, hope this makes up for it! Don’t worry we’ll be together soon”

-DB

He even doodled a Sun wearing sunglasses with a heart beside it. Your own heart transforms into something light and buoyant. You worry about floating away at any moment. 

AJ of course freaks out over dinner when you tell him everything  As if summoned out from under a couch cushion himself, your non official-official boyfriend calls.

“Hello?” You answer with a warm grin and AJ eyes go wide.

“Is that him?” AJ mouths. You can only playfully shrug. 

“When I walked out of my shoot just now I knew LA looked and smelled brighter and it’s because you’re here.” Dieter says with so much awe that it overpowers his classic Dieter type comment. 

“Dork.” You smile so fond that AJ playfully makes a gagging face.

“When can I see you baby?” Dieter mutters in a sweet alluring tone that has something delicious crawling up your spine. 

You explain how you are at dinner right now.

“Dinner?! In your first night in LA and it’s without me?!” Dieter exclaims dramatically.

“It’s with Markiplier isn’t it? I knew it! Well tell him he’s only half attractive and that when I get there it’s over for his gamer ass!” He screeches.

“Goodbye!” You laugh wild and unbelievable. You cut him off quickly because goodness, what a beautiful hilarious force Dieter Bravo is.

“So I’m thinking I might get to enjoy a hotel room all to myself this trip huh?” AJ comments playful and with a teasing smirk.

“Maybe!” You reply weak but you know the truth grows in your bones. It only solidifies when you text him to meet you at the hotel.

You want to spend as much time as Dieter will allow. You want to see his apartment, want to find that sweet cat he always takes pictures of during his runs. You want to enjoy and let yourself soak in the bliss of just being with the one man who has been lighting up your life.

[Dieter: heading over, see you soon ghostie 💘]

The text electrifies you faster and brighter than any strike of lightning could. Then, as you sit on the couch waiting for his call, your phone rings and you almost jump out of your skin.

“Yeah honey?” You answer breathlessly. 

Quickly you open the door to rush to the elevator only to find Dieter Bravo standing there on the other side.

This moment has filled your daydreams more than you would ever admit. You wondered if this first meet would be some cinematic moment. You originally hoped this would have happened at the airport. You even pictured it a very sweet indie movie type way where the love interests finally meet at a place where so many paths cross and are brought together.

Yet here he is. 

The man who’s filled your heart with so much humor and affection that right now it swells to the point you wonder if you might burst. 

Dieter’s face falls in complete awe.

He hangs up the phone and before either of you can say anything he moves in quick steps. He swiftly sweeps you into his arms.

Dieter kisses as if you might disappear. His mouth is warm, tasting faintly of ice coffee and a shot of desperation. It makes you melt into him. You clutch his Los Angeles Lakers sweatshirt as you kiss him back with everything you have.

The months, the build up, it all led to this.

As fast as he kissed you, as fierce as he licked into your mouth, suddenly Dieter gently cradles your face. He pauses for a split second and then he is kissing you so softly, so light.

Dieter kisses your lips gently, once twice, before moving to kiss the corner of your lips, the top of your cheek. He finally kisses your forehead and the tenderness overwhelms your senses.

“You’re here.” Dieter breathes out.

“You’re here.” You choke back.

Dieter pulls away and grins a molten sleepy thing that touches his eyes. 

He is everything you have dreamed of and then more.

When he pulls you into his arms, simply to just hold you, you squeeze him back with all your might.

“No more screens separating us, ghostie.” Dieter coos affectionately into the top of your head.

No more screens indeed.

As if Dieter himself is a real ghost, he spirits you away from the hotel room. You think your laugh and his still hang in the hallways of the hotel.

“Okay, are you sure you want to do this?” You ask hesitant.

“Yes ghostie, this is the fifth time you’ve asked me. Should I remind you again that I’m the one who suggested this and got excited when you said yes?” Dieter scoffs as he settles into the seat beside yours.

Your heart hammers loud in your ears. You’ve never done this. Hell knowing you’re doing this with him feels even more terrifying. 

“Hey,” Suddenly his warm larger hand moves to squeeze yours.

Your eyes flicker to Dieter. He is the picture perfect example of ease and you know it’s not the edible he took because it already wore off after he picked you up from VidCon. 

“If you don’t feel comfortable then no worries.” He reassures you effortlessly. You can’t help it. You lean over and kiss him soft, appreciative. 

It’s been so easy to fall into place with him. 

He kisses you back more and more. You’re about to pull away until he breathes against your lips. 

“Move here, move in with me.” 

Your eyes snap open wide and you scramble away from him.

“Dieter WHAT?!”

“What!?” He cries back just as loud. “I thought that might take away the nerves and give you something else to think about and then the words just kinda flew out!”

Your damn chaotic but so sweet boyfriend…

You exhale feeling the old nerves now transfer into this new topic and you suppose Dieter’s plan did work in a way.

“Ghostie,” Dieter urges. “Talk to me please.”

A silence settles between you and him. 

“You want me to move in with you?” Your voice is small, barely able to process the words yourself. Your eyes flicker to Dieter. He stares at you with the cutest worried face. 

“Baby if I had it my way you’d quit your job, live here with me and live off my money until you get sick of me. You’d be here and do whatever the fuck you want for as long as you want.” His tone is soaked with sincerity as he answers without hesitation, without doubt. 

“I just wanna come home to you. Wanna see your moisturizer in my bathroom. I want to get into fights over which Pringle’s flavor is best,” Dieter continues so earnest. “It’s the shrimp cocktail flavor by the way.”

“It’s not.” You reply with a sniffle and Dieter smirks affectionately as his thumb strokes your hand.

“Just…think about it, okay?”

It’s a lot to process but hope swirls and swells in your chest. It speaks more than you can at this moment. All you can do is lean forward to kiss him fiercely and true.

Dieter kisses you back softer.

“Come on ghostie,” He mutters against your lips. “Don’t you have a stream to get to?”

“Guess this is why celebrities don’t date fans huh.” You mutter. 

Dieter busts out laughing at your comment and you join him feeling bright and limitless. He yanks you into his arms and kisses you multiple times now, all loud and relentless. For the finale he blows a raspberry on your cheek making you laugh even louder. 

If you are his ghost, you think he might be your halcyon. A strange beautifully colored bird that seems mythical but one that brings you so much sweet peace among the waves. 

“Alright come on let’s do this.”

You jump onto stream and warmly smile as Dieter sits besides you.

Warmly and as casually as you can you greet everyone while also explaining the elephant, or this case academy award winning actor, in the room.

Chat rapidly explodes. 

socallie: Dieter bravo?? DIETER BRAVO IS THAT YOU?

butterflybabe: holy shit is that actor dieter bravo?

floatify: Gio from Cliff Beasts I’m ur biggest fan  

soupjuicy: DIETER!!!! WOWOWOWOW I LOVE YOU!!!

svdbeau: Uh? HOW? EXPLAIN PLS??

gammagamma: This is the crossover I didn’t know I needed, this is my endgame

dreamfairy95: wait who is this guy

AJPlays: heeheeheee 

A j’s comment has you snickering. It’s enough to release the nerves and let you settle in. Unseen by chat or the camera Dieter rubs your knee fondly and a bigger smile tugs at your lips.

You explain that, since it’s VidCon, you thought to try something new and have a friend join. You don’t even have to see Dieter to know he’s smirking like the damn cat that caught the canary.

His agent and manager both loved the idea of him doing a surprise stream. 

“Apparently it would be a great way for me to ‘connect with the youth.’” He told you even using air quotes. “Like fuck, I get it. I’m old but hey I’m hip! I can hang!”

That was enough to have you agreeing in a fit of giggles. And after you accepted, then after he fucked your brains out, Dieter warmly told you this was a new fantasy he didn’t even know he needed. 

“Finally getting to have fun with my baby while playing games? That’s a dream come true ghostie.” 

You find now that maybe it’s a secret dream for you too. Finding someone who wants to sit beside you and cheer you on, who wants to enjoy this silly endeavor that’s become so important to you is a tender dream you want to cherish. 

Just thinking of it makes you reach down secretly to quickly squeeze his hand. 

“I came here to immortalize myself on the internet as one of the best Mario Kart players ever.” Dieter suddenly speaks and instead of it startling you, a surge of reassurance washes in.

You’re here with him. Who would have thought? Because instead of feeling overwhelmed at the thought of celebrity Dieter Bravo here, it’s simply your boyfriend, Dieter.

“Okay, let’s do this.” Dieter announces with competition and confidence beaming in his voice. “And yes my Mario Kart main is Birdo because I stan a queen in this household.”

He is a natural, effortlessly interacting with chat and laughing so easily with you. 

By the time you realize he’s beaten you twice on Bowser’s Castle, you find you never want to leave this moment. 

Because this moment? It is a bit ridiculous but wonderful. It reminds you of tasting a sour candy that makes your face pucker so tight but the taste is incredible and makes you only want more.

And you do, you want more moments with Dieter.

“Fuck YEAH! VICTORY! Eat my ASS BOWSER!”  

As Dieter screams excitedly, throwing his hands in the air and even doing the weirdest wiggle victory dance, you think you might be the real winner in this game.

[dandelioncasey]

So this little rant/vent/whatever was inspired by a great post by @scientia-rex which I will link below

It gave me a lot of thoughts but due to the topic I didn't feel right putting them in the comments or tags, so they're going here under the cut

TW FOR EATING DISORDER, EATING DISORDER RECOVERY, FATPHOBIA, MEDICAL BULLSHIT, AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN THINK OF THAT GOES ALONG WITH THAT

Between the summer of 2021 and the spring of 2022 I dropped from 23st to just above 17st. For those who don't feel up to converting numbers right now, that's a loss of around 38 kilos.

I did this after endless comments from my doctor and my mother and people around me that my weight was unhealthy and that I needed to be skinnier. Essentially, all I heard from everyone was that Fat Is Bad and it was a Problem. I internalised a lot of those messages and I was determined to 'fix' it.

I was also determined to 'not be like those other people' who develop unhealthy habits...yeah, that didn't happen. I won't go into incredible detail, but I was working out for an hour or two of intense calorie burning exercise every single day, and I was tracking every single thing I ate on a spreadsheet which measured the fat, the sugar, the salt, anything you can find on a nutrition label.

I don't remember much of how it started but I believe the thought process was that I couldn't under or overeat if I was tracking what I ate and planned it all out. I even told my doctor I was exercising more and planning my meals in advance (although not quite the extent to which I was doing it) and he was thrilled, because my weight was, and to some extent still is, the first and only thing medical professionals see about me.

In case it isn't clear, I was never diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia or BED, but I very much still had an eating disorder. If my doctor had asked more questions, if my mother hadn't pushed me so hard, maybe things would be different...but that's not what happened.

By the early spring of 2022 I had already lost five stone...I had also lost most of my enjoyment in food, quite a lot of my motivation, and any desire to carry on. I was exhausted and dizzy all of the time. I couldn't concentrate, I was sick all the time... essentially, I had most of the symptoms of malnutrition.

Every time my family would get a 'treat day', for my birthday, for Christmas, whatever the occasion was, I planned into my spreadsheet how many meals I would need to skip to make up for the unexpected calories I was taking in, and the breaks from my workout that I was taking as it got more and more difficult to carry on.

Just because I was writing it all down doesn't mean that I was being healthy, and just because my doctor approved (from what he knew of it) doesn't mean I should have carried on. I looked at the numbers on the scale and I was proud of myself, but my body was eating itself alive because at the worst of it I was consuming not even 1/5 of what I was burning in a day.

By the end of spring last year, my sister sat me down for a reality check. She'd been away for a while and she'd come home to find me sitting on the kitchen floor crying, because my mother had bought herself a cake for her birthday and the smell of it was making me ill.

I won't elaborate on what we discussed, but the upshot ofnthe whole thing is I stopped (or at least tried to stop) being so restrictive of everything - I let myself have days off and tried to not feel guilty, I ate when I was hungry and not when the alarm went off to tell me to defrost and reheat my turkey wholewheat pasta with no sauce or cheese. And I absolutely hated myself for it.

Don't get me wrong, looking back I can see that that was a very dangerous way to try and lose weight, but I had internalised the words of the people around me so much that I hated every single part of my body, every movement, every shift or wobble or jiggle that I saw in the mirror - because Fat Is Bad.

I haven't weighed myself since last summer, when I looked at the scales and burst into tears because the number had gone back up. My doctors have to record my weight because of the medication I take but I refuse to look because I don't want to know anymore.

Despite my best efforts, sometimes I still compulsively check the nutrition of the foods I buy, even down to a jar of curry sauce or a premixed salad. I have to get other people to order for me when we get treat days, because I can't eat if I look at the calorie information on the menus. And I still feel compelled to 'make up' for workouts that I skip by doing double the next day.

I don't really know what the point of this was, I just needed to get it out I guess, because that post brought up a LOT of feelings that I needed to let out. If you're still reading, thank you I guess?? But please don't take anything in this post as being advice - I cannot stress enough that I could have died if my sister didn't give me that reality check and I will be dealing with this for probably years if not the rest of my life.

[carrdfan]

Eddie Brock x Reader

summary : Eddie's thoughts were becoming more and more destructive. Yet a night with you, a familiar bartender, it gives him hope he majorly needed

main tags : angst with comfort of a sort , female reader

notes : venom's entire presences isn't known to anyone yet

The room was quiet, even though there were countless others chatting the night away.

The soothing jazz, the appealing décor, it's no wonder why this bar was so popular when it came to the people in the city.

Yet for an unfortunate man, the comforting atmosphere was just not enough to calm him and his stress. With the recent lost of his relationship and job, Eddie couldn't keep his head up for once, something he did towards to many people.

The music was barely reaching to him, he was losing himself in the unforeseen void that was eating him away. He felt his paranoia grow as the distant chatter formed into laughter. Mocking him for how much of a fool he was and how he truly fucked up.

Any moment now he would break. Eddie knew that one more crack would be the thing that does him in, the thing that will forever ruin him.

"Eddie? You ok?"

Eddie flew his head up to his name, in front of him stood you, who was casually cleaning out a beer glass while facing and looking back at him.

Y/n, a well-loved bartender who enjoys her job. She was the chipper one in the group, making witty jokes, and always managed to help the workers look more forward towards their shift. Yet despite how favored she was, almost no one seemingly knew anything else about her.

If you were to ask, everyone's memories of her consisted of running jokes she came up with that person specifically, not many could recall anything else the overall jokes when it came to Y/n. No one knows what she feels behind her bright smile, and everyone was too distracted by her cheerful acts to dig deeper into it.

"Ah... Yeah, yeah, I'm doin' fine." Eddie attempted to casually brush off the concern, he felt like Y/n may not be the best when it comes to being the person someone would complain their heart out to.

"... You seem too troubled to be 'doin' fine.'" Y/n casually commented, her response made Eddie freeze for a second. She stopped cleaning the glass cup and placed it in its proper place, waiting to be picked up again when the next guy comes in shouting how he wanted Budweiser, or whatever beer was popular for tonight.

While being at a closer distance, Y/n grabbed a chair and took a seat, still looking away and focusing on what was on the T.V.

"You caught me. I ain't doin' the best right now... But what's got you so invested?" Y/n slowly turned her head to Eddie before giving him a big grin, it made her thought process unpredictable almost.

She rested her head down on the table, using her arms as some sort of pillow. "Nothing in particular, just couldn't help myself for asking. So, in any case, what's got you down?"

Childish, is what Y/n was almost all the time. Yet in a moment like now, she showed sparks of being the adult she actual was. Maybe it was a moment of desperation to let out his feelings, or maybe it was because she managed to give off such a pleasing figure right now. Either way, Eddie could barely catch himself as he casually gets the weight off his chest with Y/n.

"Have you... Has there ever been a time in your life where it all just seems meaningless? Hopeless?" There was a moment of pecking silence, Eddie looked at Y/n waiting for a response. Her eyes were closed and Eddie could've sworn she had passed out on him right then and there if she hadn't opened one eye as she stared back.

"Yeah. It's enviable basically. Why, did you have a recent epiphany?" The question felt more of a targeted callout, a reminder of all the events that went down. Eddie took a deep exhale before responding.

"Yep. Lost it all in the matter of a few days, now I just.. Don't know what to do anymore." In the back of Eddie's mind, he took a grip on himself. 'Why am I telling her this? I barely know her.'

He was barely able to snap back and hear the next words that came out of Y/n, "I mean yeah, honestly, I'd lose my shit if that all happened personally... I believe every adult is on the verge of cracking, and to have that happen? Lose everything I had worked so hard for? I'm surprised you aren't on the news, being on the wanted list 'cause that would've been my final push." Y/n swiftly swings her head back to look at the television.

Out of everyone in here who would have such an introspect like that, the last person Eddie would believe to have it would be Y/n. "What do you know about being on the low side? Hell, you're nothing but the opposite honestly."

In the eerie pause of silence, Eddie felt disturbed as Y/n sat back up and slowly locked eyes with him while carrying a smile that was a bit too big for the type of conversation they were having.

"I'm an adult too Eddie, please don't be like everyone else and forget that."

Even with the silence broken, the air still felt disturbing as he took in her words, but before he could respond, Y/n got out of her chair and took a stretch. "Well, the usual loud crowd should be here any minute now."

She popped her knuckles in kiddy exaggeration. A mere 180° from what she was a mere moment ago. "I liked our talk, should do it more. I mean, even the ditz can be tired of themselves, y'know?"

She soon pats Eddie on the shoulder lightly, "Hang in there for me soldier, I don't wanna have these types of conversations with nothing but your dead corpse one day." The joke was caught, but for a situation like this, it did nothing but make Y/n's figure even more ambiguous.

Before he could respond, a loud outburst came from the entrance and caught Eddie's attention. It was a group of men, entering the bar, laughing and disturbing the peaceful atmosphere.

Eddie looked back at Y/n one last time, who was irritated and rolled her eyes to the sight. She did the same to Eddie as they locked eyes one last time before she walked off into the back room.

It felt short, but the talk the both of them shared tonight gave Eddie multiple feelings. He felt reassured and comforted, yet clueless in a way as he had many questions for Y/n that never got a chance to be asked.

Either way, Eddie was definitely planning on making a return for the next few nights. Y/n's strange mannerisms managed to puzzle and captivate him.

She was a book, and he wanted to read and understand her. Especially after tonight.

[randomshyperson]

Left Behind - Chapter 8 - Fine Line

Gif was made by my friend @abimess

Summary: The one where you lived in the apartment under the Maximoff family in Sokovia, or, your journey as a Sokovian civilian to Avenger.

Warnings: (+16) Violence, fighting, cursing, civil war environments, abuse of power, assault, torture, underage kissing, psychological torture, substance use, mention of assault/fighting of children, smut, kissing, teasing, insinuation of sexual and moral harassment, verbal offenses.

Words: 4.183K

A/N> I have no idea. Good reading.

All Works Masterlist || Read on AO3 || Series Masterlist

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Chapter 8 - Fine Line

As soon as the jet landed on the compound, things started to change.

Nick Fury was waiting for the Avengers at the entrance, and you exchanged a look with Natasha as you walked alongside everyone.

"I would like the twins to attend this meeting." Nick asks as soon as Steve leads the team into the office. You sit down next to Bucky on the couch in the common room, and he looks at you, as if wondering if you were going to contradict the other man, but you are looking at the Maximoffs.

Wanda and Pietro nod in understanding, and you try to give a reassuring smile when the girl looks at you, but it doesn't seem to help much as she just looks away and walks inside with her brother.

"What do you think they're talking about?" You ask a few minutes after you and Bucky are left alone. The winter soldier sighs lightly.

"Ultron, of course." He says. "Nick will want to know everything the twins have on him since they were working together. And I think some legal questions about them being here, like we did with you."

"Do you think they will want to become Avengers?" You ask a moment later, twiddling your fingers anxiously. Bucky gives a little smile.

"Depends on how much Tony talks."

You laugh, leaning back against the armchair.

"Maybe that will take a while, wanna eat something?" Bucky asks next, and you glance at the meeting room door before muttering, "Sure."

You and Bucky stand up toward the kitchen counter and he reaches into the cupboards, pulling out some ingredients as you prop your elbow on the counter.

"I'm going to make my secret recipe." He comments with a smile, taking two plates and placing them on the wood. "Grab some cheese for us?"

"Sure." You reply as you walk over to the refrigerator.

For the next few minutes, you watch Bucky prepare what resembles a cheese sandwich, but which he calls the Barnes secret recipe, but which is only different about the tomato and the fact that he heats the bread with oregano.

"Are you sure about that?" You ask as you watch him put on even more oregano. Bucky laughs lightly and then closes the bread, handing you one piece and taking the other.

"Come on, tell me what you think." He asks and you grimace uncertainly still biting into it. It is surprisingly good tasting, but deciding to tease him, you don't smile and the man looks at you wide-eyed.

"Dammit, pal, I don't think that turned out so good." You start and he takes a quick bite of the sandwich, and realizing you were joking, he nudges you lightly as he chews, making you laugh.

"Idiot." He grumbles but ends up laughing too.

You are in the middle of laughing when the meeting ends. Distracted by the interaction, you don't see the Avengers leaving the room, much less notice the way Wanda quickly catches the scene of you and Bucky laughing, and misinterprets it all.

"Barnes' secret recipe? Do you still have any for me?" Steve asks as he approaches, and you look at the Avengers who have entered the kitchen, scanning around for Wanda, but she is looking at the floor.

"I'll make one for you." Bucky says as the captain sits down on one of the stools. "Are you going to tell us what happened in there?"

Steve smiles, propping his elbow on the potty.

"For the current time, you guys are looking at the new two members of the Avengers." He counters and you widen your eyes, looking immediately at the twins. Pietro matches your excitement, but all you get from Wanda is a quick, almost annoyed look.

You leave your unfinished sandwich on your plate, and thank Bucky before walking over to the twins.

"Can we talk?" You ask them half-heartedly.

"Of c-

"Are you sure you're not busy?" Wanda interrupts her brother halfway through, crossing her arms. You frown in confusion, but Natasha approaches you.

"Why don't you show them the compound, Y/N?" She suggests with a smile. "They're going to be your door-mates too."

"Okay." You agree and exchange a look with Pietro before waving the direction where they should follow you.

It takes a few minutes to show them around, but you ensured that if they ever got lost, all they had to do was call out "Jarvis" who was already restored to the compound, plus there were maps in every corridor.

And then you led them to the hallway of rooms, and Pietro was the first door.

"I guess that's you." You say, and Pietro takes out the magnetic key he must have gotten from Fury in the briefing room to open the door.

You let the twins in first, and then follow them with your hands in your pockets, smiling at the impressed hiss Pietro gives.

"I know, it's fancy." You comment and he gives a short laugh, looking around.

"I never thought I'd be under the same roof as Tony Stark." He speaks and you bite the inside of your cheek, looking away to the floor.

"Yeah, me neither."

Have a moment of silence as they look around until Wanda, who is standing with her arms crossed and beside her brother, looks at you.

"Did you talk to him?" She asks. "About... Sokovia?"

You sigh lightly.

"I kind of did." You say. "Tony is... difficult. There' s not much to say about it if you ask me. I learned about how he had no idea that Stark Industries bankrolled the war, because he was busy spending his own fortune."

"Great guy." Pietro mutters and you give a weak little smile.

"Yeah, I know." You continue. "I'm sorry about that. I know you guys always wanted to find him and make him pay, but he didn't even know about the whole thing."

You shift the weight of your feet, and then sigh. "I know that doesn't change anything, but he apologized. And then he made me a suit, and let me stay here."

"You're right, it doesn't change or fix anything." Wanda retorts, but her gaze softens, "But, it's a start."

"And now we promise to help defeat Ultron." Pietro adds and you shake your head.

"What did Nick Fury say to convince you guys?" You ask with mild amusement and Pietro laughs, exchanging a quick glance with his sister.

"Your name." Wanda replies and you stop laughing because you feel your heart race, and your face heat up at the intensity of her gaze. Pietro seems to find the whole interaction amusing.

"W-what?"

"It doesn't matter. Can I see my room now?" Wanda asks quickly, already walking away to leave. You exchange a quick glance with Pietro, who just shrugs and then follows Wanda down the hall.

"Is this the one?" she asks as she stops next door and you shake your head.

"No, I'm in the middle." You clarify. "Yours is next."

She gives a smile as she looks at your door.

"I've never been in a room that was yours."

"That's because I've never had a room of my own before." You comment with a chuckle. "Wanna take a look?"

Wanda glances at you and then nods. You move closer to open the door, and try to ignore the way your heart races and your hands tremble because Wanda doesn't move aside and you have to lean in to open the lock.

She walks in as soon as the door opens, and you follow her in silence, trying not to look so affected.

"I think I just have the stuff the Avengers gave me here." You explain as you watch Wanda look around. "Not that I had anything in Sokovia."

Most of the rooms in the tower had a pattern of furnishings, and colors. As they became more comfortable, the team members would add their own personality to the room. In the short time you stayed with them, the most you had were sweaters with the team logo all over the place, or training shoes. There were also, however, drawings. And Wanda noticed.

"What are these?" She asks as she reaches for the small notebook on the armchair. You ran your hand through your hair shyly.

"A hobbie, I guess." You count with a smile. "It's new, it's...therapeutic, I think that's the word."

Wanda looks at you curiously.

"Since I've been here, I've had some trouble getting relaxed." You explain and Wanda frowns slightly. "So Bucky suggested finding a hobby of some sort."

"Who is Bucky?"

"The guy with the metal arm." You say and continue talking, not noticing the way Wanda squeezes the sketchbook a little too hard. "Since we've been through similar experiences, he figured that what his therapist taught him would probably help me too. He cooks, and I draw."

"Got it." Wanda murmurs, shifting her gaze to the notebook again. She opens it and looks at the pages carefully, smiling at some of the drawings. "When you say, similar experiences, what do you mean?"

You hesitate. Wanda doesn't know all about it. Everything you went through to get there. You wonder if you would like her to know.

"Maybe that's something for another time." You say as you look away and she looks upset.

"You used to tell me everything."

"Maybe there are things you don't need to know."

Wanda stares at you with her jaw locked. You look back, not sure what it is exactly that you're trying to hide.

You give in, with a soft sigh. You have waited so long to see them, only to have this strange nervous tension between you two.

Running a hand through your hair, you gesture to Wanda to return your notebook.

"Let me take you to your room..."

"No need, next door right? I'll be fine." She interrupts angrily, tossing the notebook into your hand.

"Wanda..."

But she's out of the room before you're done. You take a deep breath, staring at the notebook in your hands. Wanda never got to see the drawings you made of her.

Figuring that you should give them time to settle into their rooms, and take a shower after a mission like that, you return the notebook to your desk and decide to do the same.

With luck, you will be able to talk properly to each other in no time.

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Wanda and Pietro joining the team, seemed to have been the essential advantage for the Avengers to be ahead of Ultron.

Once you were back in the common room, Natasha handed you a mug of coffee while making a joke about Tony bragging about deciphering Ultron's entire plan, and you just laughed when she commented that it was easy to decipher when the twins had already shared the key information.

"We're going to Korea early tomorrow morning." She counters. "I think Steve wants to know if you're still going to be a part of it."

"Why wouldn't I?" You ask confused and she raises an eyebrow.

"You found your friends." She retorts and you sigh.

"Oh, yeah." You say. "B-but I can still help. I...I still want to"

"Is this about Ultron manipulating your friends?"

"Maybe."

Natasha laughs lightly.

"Well, the captain is in the conference room organizing everything." She says.

"I think he will be pleased to know that you are not heading off to Sokovia."

"Yet." You retort with a smile making Nat laugh as you take the coffee mug back.

When you arrived at the conference room, Steve was distracted by some paperwork, and you knocked on the door before entering.

"Hey, kiddo." He said as he turned his head to look at you quickly before returning his attention to the papers. "Everything okay?"

"Sure, Steve." You replied approaching, deciding to stay on your feet. "I wanted to let you know that I can still help."

Steve looks at you with a mixture of surprise and amazement.

"I thought..."

"Yeah, I know what I said before."You interrupt with an almost embarrassed smile. "But I want to help. I don't know what Ultron is planning, and I thought this was not my fight. But then..."

"It affected your friends." He concludes and you nod. Steve sighs and leans on the table, crossing his arms as he looks at you. "You know, I think I should give you a speech about how being a hero is about helping everyone, not just the people who matter to you."

You laugh humorlessly, looking away. You were going to contradict, but Steve quickly adds.

"I'm not going to do that." He says. "I won't because you grew up in a war that wasn't yours, with no one to fight for you. So you three were the only heroes you ever knew."

"We weren't heroes, Steve." You retort with a sigh. "We were just orphans trying to survive."

"My point is, I'm in no position to lecture you." He clarifies and you cross your arms, waiting for him to finish. "Your motive for fighting is nobody's business but your own. What matters is that you will be helping."

"Thanks, Cap." You grumble and Steve smiles.

He grabs a clipboard, and starts telling you about them finding out that Ultron had intention to create a better body made of Vibranium, and how they would be going to Korea to stop that and get the scepter back with the stone.

He is in the middle of the sentence about putting you on the support team when you can hear his heartbeat.

The sudden noise startles you and you frown in confusion.

"Everything okay?" He asks as he notices your expression, before you can say anything, your head starts to spin.

It's not just his heartbeat, but all the blood circulating in his veins that can be heard next. You suddenly find it hard to breathe, and just as you notice Steve's full molecular presence, you're able to know Natasha is in the next room, hear Tony chew in the basement, or feel Clint scratch his back.

It is oppressive and overwhelming and you stumble back in despair.

"W-what's happening?" You ask trying to breathe normally.

"Hey kid, breath, are you okay?" Steve asks worried, approaching you with his hands raised.

His heartbeat accelerates because he's scared for you and you gasp, covering your ears because you feel your head is going to explode.

"Please stop it." You ask in desperation, feeling your eyes fill with tears with all that information at once. "It's too much. please..."

"Tell me what's wrong." He asks but you just sit on the floor, burying your heads in your knees, and covering your ears as you try to breathe. "I'll get help."

Even after he leaves, you can feel his presence in the other rooms.

And it gets considerably worse when all the Avengers are around you, worried and asking what's wrong. Their heartbeats feels like it's going to pop your eardrums, and you want to scream.

"Hey Y/N, I need you to focus on my voice." It was Bruce, kneeling in front of you. "It's your powers increasing, remember how we talked about that? Try to focus on me."

"I can't. " You cry. "Please Bruce, it's too much. Tell them to be quiet."

"This will help." He says and you feel a sting in your thigh.

Little by little, the sounds become muffled, until they disappear. You get a taste of iron in your mouth, and you look up to see the whole team looking at you with concern, and Bruce in front of you, giving you a short smile.

"I'm sorry." You mumble awkwardly, feeling exhausted.

"Do not worry kid." Bruce says. "Can you stand?"

"I think so."

Bruce helps you anyway, one hand around your waist while your arm rests around his shoulders.

"I think you'd better lie down for a while." He says and then you are walking. "Guys, let's give her some space, alright?"

Bruce asks the team and they stop following you two. Bruce takes you to his room, and helps you to bed.

"Here we go." He murmurs as soon as you lie down completely. "How do you feel?"

"Exhausted." You respond weakly, feeling your eyes grow heavy. "Thanks for help."

"Any time." He says. "Rest kid, we have a lot to talk about when you wake up."

You want to tell him you'd like to know what's going on now, but you're falling asleep right away.

You don't know Wanda is standing at your door with a pounding heart.

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Waking up is surprisingly unpainful.

You expected at least a headache, but your powers do the job right.

"Good Morning." Bruce greets you as soon as he notices you fidgeting with the sheets. You frown.

"Morning? How long was I gone?"

"Thirty-eight hours and twelve minutes." He responds by placing the tablet he was holding on the table beside him. You widen your eyes in surprise, sitting up quickly. "Hey, take it easy."

"B-but the mission..."

"Do not worry about it." He says as he approaches your bed, sitting next to you at knee level. Bruce assesses you quickly and then sighs. "Are you feeling something? Any dizziness?"

"No." You say. "Where are the others?"

"The twins also went to Korea if that's what you want to know." He responds while looking away to fiddle with his jacket. He takes out a small lantern and holds it close to your eyes, examining something in them as he mutters to himself.

"What was wrong with me?" You ask as soon as he puts the object away. He adjusts his glasses.

"Don't talk like that." He asks. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"I was out for two days, doc." You retort with irony and he gives a short laugh.

"Yes, because you were exhausted." He says. "Don't worry about it, it's not a bad sign."

You mutter, crossing your arms. Bruce clears his throat as he reaches for the tablet on the table and then hands it to you.

"I did some analysis while you were sleeping." He says, and you stare at the graphics without understanding much. "They are good news."

"What did you inject in me back there?" You ask then, handing the tablet back to him.

"An alternative to Hydra Serum." He clarifies. "Without the obeying part, just the controlling of your abilities."

"Thanks, I guess." You mumble. Bruce locks the tablet before looking at you again.

"I'll ask Bucky to cook you something to eat, and then we'll go to the lab." He warns you. "We have some things to talk about."

"Whatever you say, doc."

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After eating, and thanking Bucky for the favor, you returned to the lab.

Bruce set up a kind of glass room that made you frown.

"I have a cell now?" You joked and he grimaced.

"It's not a cell." He retorted. "It's a training room."

"It looks like a cell."

"It is not."

"But it looks like."

Bruce sighed and you giggled, crossing your arms as you look at the glass in front of you. He walked over to open the door through the holographic lock and you took a closer look.

"Why did I get a training cell?"

"Your training room is special." He says entering the glass box. You follow him, and as soon as he enters, you notice that the glass muffles all outside noise. When the door closes behind you, you can only hear Bruce. "I needed something that could block out everything else when your powers awaken again."

"But I don't have super hearing, Banner." You retort. "I don't understand why an anti-noise room is the best option."

"That's not what it's for."

You tap the glass with your fingers while Bruce fiddles with the tablet. And then the glass gains a new layer of protection, which glows golden before becoming practically invisible.

"Cool." You whisper and then turn to him again. "But what is it for?"

"Well, as I said earlier, I did other tests on your blood." He counts. "By my calculations, and from your little scene two days ago, you're going to be showing an immediate growth in your healing abilities over the next few days."

"Okay..."

"Shield tries to classify the enhanced humans as best as possible, and after working with Maria, we put you in some of those categories." He counts and with a flick of his fingers, a hologram comes out of the tablet into the air in front of him.

It was your file, and lots of texts and some photographs that you thought were images from your time in Hydra. Those were Shield's files on you.

"Of course we'll just have to wait for it to happen, but you're already classified as an enhanced beta level with biotherapeutic skills."

You looked around the files, surprised about the pics of your young self that Shield managed to recover. Even images from your childhood.

"For now, you've only demonstrated cell regeneration and close-range healing manipulation."

He narrates. "And two days ago, you had a small episode."

"I could hear everyone's heartbeats." You clarified still looking at the files. "I felt them in the next room."

"I understand." Bruce grumbles as he writes something down on his tablet. "This is called biomolecular detection. Depending on how you evolve, you might be able to detect injured people meters away."

You frown in surprise. Bruce is thoughtful.

"Not only detecting the injured, but also being able to tell exactly where the wounds are." He says. "It's impressive."

"You forgot the part where I couldn't breathe and I curled up on the floor like a scared child." You mock.

"That's what this room is for." He retorts with a smile. "You need to learn to handle your powers in a controlled environment."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"It's better than putting you in the middle of the fight, I'm sure of that."

You sigh, crossing your arms.

"What else does Shield have on me?"

"You want to look at childhood pictures, don't you?"

You laugh, shrugging.

"Obviously."

After showing your files, Bruce also explained how the room was designed to block, at a molecular level, your ability to sense other people outside the room.

Since the team wasn't in the tower for the next few days until the end of the mission in Korea, Bruce and Bucky would help you practice with your powers.

And as soon as the serum Bruce developed started to wear off, you felt your powers come back with a vengeance.

"I need you to focus on my voice until we get to the lab." Bucky asked worried as he found you on your knees at the living room floor, hands over your ears. You muttered weakly, feeling him help you to your feet as you heard the air rush in and out of his lungs. He started humming a song, and you whimpered, trying to concentrate, but everything was overwhelmingly noisy.

It seemed to take forever, but then everything went quiet next.

You look up to realize that Bucky has left you in the room, and then close the door.

"Thank you, buddy." You say, adjusting your balance by leaning against the glass.

"Don't worry." He says giving you a gentle smile. "Do you feel better?"

"Fuck, yes." You grumble as you quickly wipe your tears. Bucky watches you carefully.

You sit on the floor, closing your eyes. It takes Bruce a few minutes to get to the lab, but when he does, he looks worried.

"Sorry for taking so long, I was all the way downstairs." He clarifies as he approaches the glass. "How do you feel?"

"It happened again." You count. "But as soon as I got in here everything was quiet."

"Well the room works, that's great." He says and you laugh weakly. "I think we can start your training then."

"But who will train her?" Bucky asks confused.

"I thought you could do that." Bruce retorts and Bucky looks at him in surprise.

"What? I thought you were going to do it."

"I don't know how to train anyone, I'm just a doctor." Bruce argues.

"Well I'm a sergeant who was brainwashed for eighty years, I'm not the teacher type."

"But you're a still a sergeant..."

"I was never a drill Sergeant..."

"Jeez." You grunt humorously, clearing your throat to stop the argument. "I have an idea, as clearly none of you are in the mood to train me, I suggest Bruce give me some more of the special serum until Natasha or Steve get back."

"We can do that." Bruce agrees. "I'll get the serum. Hopefully you'll learn to control this soon."

"I hope so, doc."

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[russenoire]

i can relate to some of this.

i was... a little more like shigeo as a kid: an anemic beanpole of a child, hopelessly 運動音痴 (undou-onchi, uncoordinated). i never passed out trying to run, but i came dangerously close on a regular basis. physical education was the only class i wouldn't get punished for bringing home a C or worse in. i loathed PE, and was glad when it was no longer compulsory.

and then i signed up for an elective dance class in 10th grade. because i actually wanted to learn how. in the US, there's a certain weirdness attached to being a person of african descent who doesn't know how to dance.

i wanted my body to move like that.

and it was SO FUCKING HARD, y'all. intense aerobic warmups before we even touched new dance steps. a different style of dance every couple of weeks or so. ballet? hip-hop? hula? contemporary? yes. i left class every day drenched and sore, muscles frustrated from trying and failing to replicate the steps being demonstrated.

but my teacher was so patient, so non-judgmental, so hilarious. (this was not true of previous PE teachers i'd had.) and it got easier with time. i noticed i was no longer as clumsy. i stubbed my toes on things and smacked my hips and ankles into door jambs less. i could move with more freedom. my body felt confident.

and the memory of that feeling stayed with me.

much later, after a partner i hoped to marry someday dumped me right before my birthday, i remembered that feeling of bodily confidence. i needed to feel it again. i'd left the culinary industry and was no longer doing heavy physical labor; i'd also lost a lot of weight to grief. another friend who lifts weights inspired me to try lifting, because it helped with her joint pain. i'd injured my knee as a chef early in my career.

this required a whole lifestyle change. i had to count calories, track macronutrients, and plan meals weekly in order to gain weight. i needed to buy heavier and heavier weights over time: the lower half of my body in particular screamed out for an actual fucking challenge.

and i felt that bodily confidence returning.

the personal records i reached every workout were a bonus. carrying heavy objects felt increasingly effortless. my knee ached a bit less; i figured strengthening the muscles round the joint would help, from a wise pediatrician's advice on my subluxing hip when i was a teenager.

getting swole felt good, but never as good as everyone said it would. i don't get an intense rush or 'ecstasy' from exercise, though dancing brings me close. i never experienced the 'pump.' it didn't make much of a dent in my anxiety, either, except for the fact that heavy weights demand your undivided attention. disappearing into future fears or past pains while goblet-squatting a 30kg kettlebell is a really good way to injure yourself.

i kept this up for almost two years, but never fully sorted out my reasons to keep lifting. i'm not gonna lie; at first it was to maybe impress my ex. but it turns out dating advice isn't written with neurodivergent introverts who don't live part-time on facebook in mind! who knew.

and just as i was slowly connecting the work of lifting with self-satisfaction, my aunt began commenting over and over on how much weight i was gaining and how careful i needed to be about not getting so big i couldn't lose the weight and so on. i found it difficult to continue. even though i knew she was projecting onto me; even though i am lanky AF; even though i asked her, repeatedly, to stop.

she died suddenly later that year, the first year of lockdowns. i haven't lifted or spoken to my ex since.

i'm so glad you found your why, @ygodmyy20. gives me hope that i can find mine, too.

Okay I finally am getting around to this post! It's the 'Fuck how can mob psycho help me in so many ways god damnit I hate and love this show' post!

Shigeo joining the body improvement club, and everything about this part of his story is so personal to me. I just have to talk about it.

So as we all know at the start of the story, Shigeo joins the body improvement club to impress Tsubomi. Thats it. Thats the goal. He also joins because he wants to get stronger and not rely on his psychic powers but really like...the main reason is to impress her.

And this isn't new. A character wanting to get fit, lose weight, change some physical part of themselves for a crush is SO common in stories that you barely notice it.

But what I love, what I ADORE is how this progresses and changes.

This gif from an amazing AMV by @thekagepro24 and it just UGH hits me so hard it is so perfect!!! I could watch this 5 second gif over and over and over again

I just am. I just am dying while running, I just am making progress, I just am enjoying this because I really like it.

This puts everything I feel into visuals (it's so gooooood watch the AMV!!! DO IIIIIIT)

So many times society tells us to change something about ourselves, or we tell ourselves to change for the appeal of others.

Lose weight so people think you're pretty.

Get fit so you can get into clothes that make you look hot.

Get swol to make a person think you're attractive.

You are the one and only you, this is your one and only body. So why are you working out, why do you WANT to get "swol" who are you trying to impress. Is it for yourself? A crush? Society?

I have battled with the above for so long. I come from an athletic background, and did a lot of sports growing up, but I have never been small. I have battled with weight my whole life and had my own shitty bouts with ED.

I have been in therapy, I have read books, I have watched videos, I've been in and out of PT for nearly 5 years because of a lower back and hip pain that NEVER went away.

I never figured out WHY i wanted to exercise. It just always was "To lose weight" because I couldn't get that goal out of my head for years and years and years.

But then I watched mob psycho 100.

And I started a new type of physical therapy.

And was it mp100 or was it the therapy finally working, who can say which did it—probably both—but one day I thought...

....maybe I should just go for a run...for 5-10 mins. Just to see how it feels. It went against all parts of my athlete brain (because 10 mins is too short to see "gains"....which is dumb but whatever)

I thought of Shigeo and how he basically passed out every time he ran for like 2 mins, but he got better. He had to start from 0, well...kinda like negative 5 really. But then he was doing so much not even a few months in!

35 pushups is so hard!!! You go my boi.

Shigeo started off doing it all for Tsubomi, for others, and even if he really wanted to do it to improve himself I think it was a secondary goal initially. Main goal was to impress someone. Secondary was to get stronger.

But then the marathon happened. And those goals SWITCHED! DURING THE RACE! just....man it hit me. It hit me hard. THAT WHOLE EPISODE IS JUST A LOT FOR ME GOD DAMN

He ran for her initially but he continued running for himself. He continued working at it because he wanted to and in the end, after everything, after confession arc, after all that

This scene!!! makes me cry happy tears!! look at how happy he is UGH IT JUST IS SO UGGGHHHHHHH

Anyway if you made it this far, know that everyones journey through their body improvement, mental improvement, emotional improvement is different. We all have to tackle it in the way that works for us.

It took me nearly 10 years to start again because of this beautiful anime connecting the right dots in my brain.

Every journey is different, but just keep fighting on and you'll figure it out!