#everyone seems really calm about it but i am decidedly NOT

[abirddogmoment]

A variety of conditioning exercises using the inflatable peanut.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

One thing that's really sunk in now that I am in my late 30's and finally processing everything, especially having other experiences to contrast things against, is just how much my childhood was impacted in major ways by early attitudes I learned but never noticed.

Like you know how kids cry out to their mothers or parents for help? Or go to them when they have nightmares? That kind of stuff? I just never fucking did that. I remember just never fucking doing that, and I remember decidedly not going to my parents for help with anything else as a kid or teen. My mom used to even brag about what a quiet baby I was. How I'd sleep all day and just make quiet cooing noises all night in my crib.

Instead of asking for more food the moment I was able I'd hunt bugs for myself int he garden, forcing my mother to leave food out for me to "forage". Because by the time I could crawl or walk my first instinct was to look for a solution myself.

And I know why.

I know my parents have always made their lack of willingness to be supportive or understanding preemptively understood. I remember crying as a child to the point of hyperventilating, standing there trying to calm myself down as best I could, and eventually figuring out that if I sobbed out "I - Need- A - Hug" my mother would clue in that hugging me helped. But I had to figure out that it helped calm me down and communicate that to her before that support was even offered.

Usually how it would go is my sister would already be upset about something and acting out, and the moment I tried to voice that I was having a problem with something too there would be this immediate "Oh don't you start >:(" Like whether I was alone or not the moment I started to seem visibly upset things had gone too far, and people would continue to treat me as a litmus test for that for the rest of my life. Other people could cry and scream but the moment I was expressing that I was upset with any visible emotion, things had gone to far and everyone had to stop.

But it must have been before that too. I must have gotten the signal really early on that I could cry all I wanted and help wasn't coming, because from day one my most ingrained instinct when something went wrong, no matter how big and incomprehensible, has been "okay, so what do -I- do?"...

And I see it now with the way my mother responded to me as a teenager and how she responds to small needy things like animals. The moment they start to whine or pester her for something she acts really agitated and snaps or loses her temper really quickly.

And the stories she'd tell sometimes like she's proud of herself for figuring out how to manipulate us into "good behaviour" when we were "misbehaving"... and it was stuff like if I started crying too instead of helping to get my sister to stop, she's just throw herself on the floor and cry until we were both trying to comfort her... But it never seems to have occurred to her that this meant any time I expressed an unmet need, it was treated as bad behaviour that had to stop and never be addressed.

And when I was a teenager the moment it started to sound like I might tell her something was wrong she would interrupt me to say how I better not because it would "hurt her heart" or remind me of her bleeding ulcers or how she can't handle the stress. The few times as a teen I tried to tell her about anything going poorly in my life it became about managing her feelings about it and her telling me how I ought to have already handled it... So I learned to just not tell her anything.

And I think it was always like that. I had assumed it must just be how I'm hardwired because my sister never did anything except throw tantrums and expect someone to fix it for her, usually me, until she broke it so many times it couldn't be fixed again... Because she was allowed to.

I think, really, all babies start out knowing how to cry for their mothers, and some of us just learn that help won't come.

And before I stopped talking to her she'd ask me why I never told her anything about my life. She'd tell me how my sister tells her all about things all the time even when it's bad, like abusive boyfriends or doing meth or whatever, they talk about it... But I didn't know how to tell her that for my entire life, any time I have tried to tell her about myself or express that something wasn't right, she's told me to stop talking.

And then anytime I started expressing strong emotions as a teenager my step mother would accuse me of faking and punish me. Like even if I wasn't autistic to begin with I don't know how I was supposed to learn how to express emotions 'normally'.

And then my friends too. If I wasn't outwardly emotional they'd treat me like I couldn't possibly be serious about something or actually upset, and if I did show outward emotion, I was being dramatic or faking.

I am not the kind of person who can stand to sit in from of a mirror and practice making facial expressions properly to make sure I am doing it right without further developing imposter syndrome about my own emotions.

My entire life my job has been to not have needs of my own, to take care of everyone else's and to occupy myself, and it's been ingrained in me since literal infancy.

So surprise, surprise, I have ended up actually preferring to be alone, being entirely independent when I shouldn't even be able to manage it, physically speaking, and I spend all day quietly keeping myself occupied.

I don't know how else to be.

My brain grew in this way. They made sure of it.

[bluntforcespatter]

trying's still good too ywy o u g h yeah, i get that. we spent way too much time on the internet too, my system n stuff i mean, to distract from irl stuff. tho ofc that led to. way more stuff happening, but i'm not gonna get into all of it rdgtfnhj but it was def easier to throw ourselves into pixels than deal with irl issues, esp when there were good things among the bad. most of our friends have been online, since ig maybe we aren't really someone ppl are interested in irl =w=;; anyways, i get it in my own ways lol. OHH we were on Quotev when we were younger. still go on at times, but we're way less active. most of our roleplays took place on Amino n Facebook tho which were....yeah lol. still, it was fun. kinda miss doing rp, less for the...acknowledgment of identity ig n more just cuz it was fun. but it's def hard, esp with current issues n such. hell ya, digital bestiess ywy YEAH, yeah. unfortunately i also get the whole...static brain thing. sometimes it calms down but it's been pretty constant over the past...year or two? cuz of stuff. anyways yeah, it's nice to have some sorta physical reminder ywy n yeah np! that all sounds nice =w= hopefully by the time you get this you'll be at home n stuff. n that's fair, good to know drthb i'll try to keep all that in mind ywy aa well thank you, idm the cheese, it's nice. :3 i appreciate it lol n dw about the switching, i get it lol, it was still cohesive n made sense so it's chill :3 - 📺

oh it's cool tht you're a system too !! we have been wanting more sysfriends (°ロ°) ! it's nice to gave people who understand. sort of. like of course all of our experiences are different but. ╮(￣ω￣;)╭ i find other systems are less likely to be like "wtf are you talking about you crazy person" and more likely to just. accept. which is nice.

i do get the Bad Internet Stuff (tm). i simply refuse to think about the bad stuff that happened to me because if i do i will actually disintegrate (◎ ◎) i think im the same way, my best friends are all internet peoples... it's really hard to talk to people in person. i don't make enough eye contact because it causes me physical pain. i've found in person people seem to find me off putting, i get called creepy and weird a lot. i sort of stopped trying to interact with people because of a very bad experience i had when i was 19-20. i do try very hard !! but i think i try way too hard and freak people out. ugh i dunno it's just. yeah. im don't think im someone people like IRL either.

it is super fun to RP !! it's harder for me now because like... people can be gross with it and so i don't like to do it with strangers, but it was SO FUN. i miss world building and doing fanart for everyones charas and stuff... i also used Facebook to RP jskwhshsj i was just pretty popular on QV because of my stories and quizzes n stuff. i was part of the creepypasta craze... Decidedly Normal Now (lying)

＼(＾∀＾)メ(＾∀＾)ノ

my brain is a big swamp bog full of fog. brain is mud soup. no thoughts head empty etc. it isn't great but again we try our best and whatnot ٩(× ×)۶ if you ever need to talk about it, i am allegedly a good listener (￣ ￣|||) i do my best anyways.

and thank you !! i am pleased to hear from you again, thank you very much for this conversation (*^_^*)♡

[lyon-amore]

From the Ashes Prologue

*Jake POV*

     "MC, I know we have been back for a year and that we are making up for lost time, but we know that we are incapable of being away from each other, that we never stop loving each other" I take a calm breath, taking the hands ". I love waking up with you next to me every morning, listening to your jokes with the movie references or that you are there in difficult moments when I feel like the whole world is watching me, but you are there to calm me down when it happens to me and it is those moments when I think I am lucky to have you. MC… Will you marry me? "      "No, I don't want to marry you, I don't love you."

     I look at Dan after making his voice high pitched. I knew this was a mistake. I should not trust him.      "I am leaving." I say offended.      "Come on Jake! It’s a joke!" I hear Dan and Thomas laugh.       I continued walking, leaving the living room of Thomas's house.

     We had gone to Duskwood for a weekend, like every weekend. It was customary to do it, although everyone already knew who I was ‘Hey! He is the son of Nathan Donfort!’ ‘He cuckolded his wife? And he's not ashamed to come here?’ ‘Surely he wants something, you do not return after 37 years of life looking for a father for no reason. He must want money.’      Clearly not all comments are not like that and when throughout your life you have heard comments towards you and your mother, you are used to it.      "Jake, whatever you tell her, she's going to say yes." Thomas laughs, patting me on the back "Why do you doubt that?"      "Because she might not want to after…"       I did not know if MC wanted to prepare another wedding or want to get married. Maybe I think about it too much.      I had the dream of sharing my life with her completely, when I thought that I could have lost her forever, I was afraid. I do not want to miss this opportunity in life.      "She came after you as soon as she left Duskwood" says Dan ", it's more than clear that this girl wants a guy who doesn't take his eyes off the computer instead of getting some fresh air and doing couple things."       I roll my eyes and sigh. Yes, I am thinking a lot about it.      I take the box and put it in my pants pocket.      "I am going to look for her." I answered decidedly.      "That's right! Go for it, tiger!" Dan exclaims excitedly, raising his glass of whiskey.      I am a little nervous, I have never gotten this far with someone. MC is the first woman with whom I have lasted many years and they are the best years of my life.

     Recovering a lost life was a little complicated. After the vacation I decided to take with MC, I wanted to put my past life in order with my friends. When I found out that one of them was desperately looking for me, I knew I was wrong to have mistrusted him. He even got mad at me for thinking of him that way. Like MC, it helps me not to have the thought that I am being persecuted.      I really want to think that no one is chasing me to stop me, but it is complicated. Sometimes I even get nervous thinking that they can attack MC again. That case had made me a little more protective. I am lucky that she understood and calmed me down to think about something else.

     I see MC talking to the girls in the garden. Hannah is holding Luca in her arms and the girls are fondling him.      I see how my sister passes the child to MC and she carefully picks him up, then taking his little hand as she smiles at him. She comes out very naturally, it shows that she is used to taking care of children even though she denies that she likes them.      I chuckled, still watching. I want to observe the scene a little more.

*MC POV*

     It was unbelievable that a year had passed after everything that had happened with Charlotte and Schneider, it almost seems like something that happened a long time ago.

     Jake and I have a dream life, great jobs, good friends, a cat we love like our son, and the most wonderful times we could ever imagine.      Once a month we used to go to a Chinese restaurant, making it a tradition. Our tradition.      Now I could say that I was very happy, knowing that Jake had been free for a year, my worries about knowing if he was alright every day without hearing from him had gone. Now I was trying to help him have a normal life. Since that case, he used to be nervous all the time. All I could do was be there supporting him and helping him calm down.

     About Phil, I hadn't talked to him since I left him. Perhaps a greeting when we pass when we come to Duskwood. The last thing Mrs. Sully told me was that she had seen him and a girl leave his house.      Well, I guess the old ways don't change. If he's happier that way, then I won't stop him. I already have someone much better.

     Being with the group was like being with a family. Sometimes I miss one, but with them I forget and the emptiness is complete. And I'm sure it happens to Jake too, he has people around him who care about him. I wish I could do more for him, I mean, he's met his father but… what about his mother's family? He never knew anything about them? I don't even want to think about how difficult it must have been for a child to be alone without grandparents or uncles who didn't love you.      I only hope that we are enough for him as his family.      "Have you told Jake yet?" I look over at Lilly, who takes her drink with an accusatory look at me.      "No, it's still early." I answered, playing with Luca to make funny faces.     “You should tell him.” Jessy sighs, shaking her head.     "Tell me what?" We hear Jake behind us and I freak out.     "That I'm going to put a bell on you to know when you're coming." I joked and he laughed. I love his laugh.     He leans in and kisses me. I runs my hand through his hair and the girls start jokingly complaining.     “Okay, this isn't something for under eighteen” Hannah says, picking up Luca “, come on, it's time to eat.”      We laugh, and Jake kisses me on the top of the head.     “Do you have a moment?” he asks me with a nervous tone of voice. he has tried to hide it, but I have noticed.     "Sure" He offers his hand to lift me up and I accept it ”. I'll be right back.”     “Or not” Cleo teases, raising an eyebrow “, because it wouldn't be the first time you've left us hanging.”      “I promise to give her back to you” Jake runs a hand around my waist, giving Cleo a sincere look ”. I give you my word.”      The girls laugh and we walk away, nearing the tree house Thomas had built for his son when he grew up. A fortress for Luca. One lucky baby.      “Have you ever been in a tree house?” he asks me, looking up.      "No, we never had one." I answered, then looked at Jake "Have you been on one?"      "Yes, but it was not that big of a deal, it was just a casino."      I laugh when I hear the Simpsons reference.      Something we shared was a love for series and movies. I don't think there was a night that we tried to disconnect from the world lying on the sofa with Gizmo and bet if the movie or the series that we are going to see is good or bad. If it is good, we see it whole. If it's bad, we leave it in the background, busy with something else, much better.      "So it's going to be our first time in a tree house?" I ask, excited as a child.      "I think so" He smiles at me and points to the stairs ". Ladies first” I point to my dress and he blushes ". Sorry, I had forgotten."       He starts going up muttering things. I can't help but think how adorable he is. I really like it when he gets chivalrous or shy even though they've been together for years. I don't want him to ever change.

     He holds out his hand for me to enter and I settle into a small chair. It's full of Hannah and Thomas' toys in boxes, for when Luca grows up.      "Incredible..." I murmured, looking at the place "Thomas must have had a hard time doing it."      "A father would do anything for a son." he says a little wistfully.       I took his hand, entwining our fingers. I smile fondly at him and with his free hand he brushes a strand of hair from my face.      "I'm sure Nathan would have made you a tree house."      "Um...is it too late to ask him?"       We both laugh and I can really imagine Nathan making a house just to make up for lost time with Jake.      "And what do you have to tell me?" He asks me, with a curious tone.      "Why don't you start telling me what you want from me?" I smiled, wanting to hear what he had to say "I would like to add a little emotion to my news."      "Okay, me first."       He takes a breath looking at the ground. He seems to be thinking about his words.

     He ends up looking me in the eye, determined.

*Jake POV*

     I can see how her eyes sparkle, waiting for my words. With my hands, I try to calm myself by lovingly holding hers, delicately. I feel like when we first met, so nervous I can hardly think straight. Only the good times with her appear in my head, not the words I had rehearsed.

     Actually, I did not need to rehearse any words, I know what I have to say.      "MC" I pronounce her name as clearly as possible and I can see how a slight blush appears on her cheeks. Sometimes I am surprised how easily I can make her blush just by saying her name. What could be said, that it became my favorite word ", in my life I have been wrong in many things, but I have to say, that meeting you was the only thing I was right about, even if it was not in the most common way to meet someone" she drops a little laugh and I can't help but smile ". You have always been the reason why I am still here, hoping to continue with the little family we have created" as I am talking, I feel like I am relaxing. Selfconfident ". And it is what I want to do the rest of my life with you. "      “Jake…you're going to make me cry.” she says, quickly bringing a hand up to her face to wipe away a few tears and shake my hand again.      "Well, that is not my intention" I let out a laugh and she accompanies me ". MC, I do not think we need more years to think about it, because at least I have it very clear" I put my hand in my pocket, ready to take out the box ". MC, would you do me the honor of-"     "MC!" We hear Lilly from downstairs, interrupting me. "They're calling on your phone! It says 'police station'!"      MC frowns, with a scared look. I know that she saved the phone number because she would get nervous when they called to talk about the 712 case and everything we investigated. Seeing the name calmed her before answering.      "I thought we had already told everything." I look at her strangely. It is assumed that the issue was settled.      "I don't know why they call me either." MC gets up and heads for the stairs.       Great, interrupted by the police. I think the law enforcement officers must be watching me every time I want to be happy with her.

     I climb down from the tree and approach the two of them quickly.     "What's going on?" Lilly asks me "Haven't you finished already?"      "I wonder the same thing." I whispered, crossing my arms.      "Yes, it's me…" we see MC frowning, she seems nervous "What has he done?!"       I am surprised to hear her talk like that. She starts walking in circles.      "Of course yes! …. No, no, of course, now I'll go... Yes, thank you very much" she hangs up and she looks at us apologetically ". I'm so sorry, I have to go right now."      "But what happened?" I am starting to get nervous with her concern. At least she does not look terrified.      "I have to go to the police station, if I go out now we may get home" it does not seem like ‘we may’ is telling me. It is like she was referring to someone else.       I watch as she hurries to the table where she was before her and Lilly and I follow.     "Girls, I'm sorry, but I have to go, it's urgent." she says as quickly as possible.      "But is everything okay?" Jessy asks, as if she's catching her nerves.      "I don't know-"      "I will accompany you with her." I take her hand and caress it, trying to calm her down.      "No Jake, you can stay here-"     "I am serious, I am not going to leave you alone in this matter, whatever it is."       She sighs beginning to relax. She nods with a half smile.      "Please excuse us to Thomas, Hannah and Dan." MC looks at them apologetically.      "Of course, go, before the police get impatient" Cleo also catches her nerves “. We are concerned about the mysterious reason you have called.”      "Call us later to let us know." Lilly looks at us, speaking quickly.      "Yes, of course, I'll try to give you the details." MC and I quickly returned inside the house to the entrance, taking our things.

     When I get to the car, I see her struggling with the keys to try to open the door. I move closer to her, taking her hand.      “Let me drive.” I offer, taking the keys.      “Yes please…”       She walks around the car and I unlock the car.

     During the journey, I see her bite her nails. I slowly lowered her hand from hers, instantly getting back behind the wheel.      "You are going to hurt yourself." I warned her, trying to stay calm.      "I just can't explain it to myself!" She exclaims exalted "How is it that they have arrested him?"      "But who have they arrested?"       I glance over at her, watching her rub her temples.      She lets out a sigh.     “There's…Something I haven't told anyone.” she says very slowly.      "When you mean nobody, who are you referring to?"      "Jake, I… Mylittlebrother'sbeenarrested!" She blurts out the words very quickly.      "You will see how in the end it is not- Wait a minute. Did you say little brother?"

Chapter 1 soon

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Yes, yes, I left the novels off there. Natural is not on there. Crescent Street is... sorta on there. (I'm honestly surprised neither you nor @deandoesthingstome have asked me about that???)

The grumpy vampire is getting laid as we speak, so calm down, everyone!!!

I can't put everything I'm working on on here because then we'll all be drowning! There's like... 5 separate chapters of Natural I'm working on. There's a Charles chapter for crescent street I'm not even sure will fit into the story. I have like 4 or 5 chapters of Crescent Street outlined in my head. There's centaur!Sy, which I'm still not sure I'll ever write.

BUT! You did ask me about some interesting things, so let's get going, shall we? (I'm gonna put this under a cut because I have a LOT to share. Lucky you!!! hehehe)

#4. SyMikeReader

Jesus Christ. I groaned, slowly opening one eye only to find exactly what I expected: darkness. The alarm clock next to my bed showed 3 AM. Fuck. Fuck, indeed. I wished I had earplugs – though I doubt they’d had worked. The sounds coming from the other room were far too loud. If the rhythmic banging of my roommate’s bed against the shared wall between our bedrooms hadn’t been enough of a hint about the activities of my next-door neighbours, the endless stream of high-pitched screams and moans would had cleared up any remaining confusion beyond a shadow of a doubt. Where the fuck does he find these women? Was there a weekly meeting of Excessive Moaners Anonymous that I didn’t know about? With a sigh, I turned my head to the left and opened my eyes again. My lips curled up into a smile when I saw your – admittedly barely distinguishable – body next to mine. How does she do it? How can she sleep through all this fucking noise? I chuckled softly at the unintended pun, but when the racket on the other side of the wall let up for a bit, my smile disappeared. You couldn’t, either – you were awake. I didn’t move – my body felt heavy, and my heart seemed to switch between beating a mile a minute or not at all. And so, I was forced to listen. To my roommate pounding some girl so hard it made my own bed shake. To that girl, whose entire vocabulary apparently consisted of ‘fuck’, ‘oh God’ and ‘yes’. And to the sound of my own girlfriend fingering herself to the dulcet tones of that next-door fuckfest, while she thought I was asleep. The movements of your right arm were echoed in the movement of the comforter (there was never a more disgustingly inaccurate word) we shared. If there was even a word to describe the way I felt, I didn’t know it. It wasn’t long before I felt you tense up, trembling in a way I didn’t recognize, soft gasps escaping from your mouth increasingly quickly. The neighbours quieted down for a second just when you reached your peak, and the moan you let out between laboured breaths turned my blood to ice. “Oh God, Sy!” It was quiet but unmistakable, and more than enough to release the tears I’d been fighting back. Fuck.

That's 400 words, but I thought it would be a nice intro into this thing, that I'm actually not sure I'll ever finish. (Unless someone can provide me with sufficient encouragement, that is.)

#5. Part of your world.

This is @deandoesthingstome's mermaid fic! I have nothing more to share about this at this time, I apologize profusely!!!

#9. Nicely with a bow

BDSM with modern era Napoleon! (I know I've told you about this one... The one that starts at the shibari expo and ends at the afterparty. Napoleon treats you like he's buying an expensive piece of art and you love it.

Also my first NB reader fic!)

#10. Puppy love

It's dad!August trying to protect his little princess (16 years old. Little. Sure, daddy. *rolls eyes in decidedly teen fashion*) from making the huge mistake of dating his college rival's (and wife's ex-boyfriend) son; James Michael Syverson (Jr.)

Full of unhinged teen behavior, August being a hilariously overprotective dad who would really like to introduce Mike to his gun collection in a way that is completely unrelated to any by his wife prohibited schemes of scaring the boy out of his house permanently.

A snippet;

“Daddy, come on, it’s just a date!” “Princess, you’re too young to date.” “Oh my god! Mom!” She stormed out of the kitchen, and you foolishly thought you could pick up the paper again. “Please talk some sense into dad!” And there she was again. Both of them, even. You sighed and put the paper back down. “August, for the love of God, she’s sixteen! She can date!” Your wife put her hands on her hips — you hated it when she did that. “Not with that...” You struggled to find the words without letting the entire house in on why exactly you didn’t approve of this boy. Other than him wanting to do unspeakable things to your daughter, of course. “He’s a sweet kid,” your wife said, rolling her eyes — you hated it when she did that, too. “He’s a Syverson!” you blurted out. “She’s not going out with the son of that sleazy, good-for-nothing son of a—” “Only if you can say it in church, August!” You didn’t even go to church! Neither did your wife, but it was her go-to way of keeping you from swearing, and as much as you hated to admit it, it worked. “Junior can forget it,” you hissed through gritted teeth. “Go get ready, sweetie,” your wife said to your daughter. Your blood was boiling. Did you have absolutely no authority in your own damn house? Not usually, no... “I’ll have a chat with your father.”

It's written from August's POV, and there are some mentions of underage sex in this one — but honestly, if you're going to come for me for writing a story in which it's mentioned that a sixteen y/o and an eighteen y/o want to bone... Anyway.

Last but not least;

#12. Widowmaker

Let me just say, my dearest co-Nina... You don't want to know anything about this fic. You wanted this to be a surprise. So I'll keep most of it a surprise and give you the synopsis. (Cluing in @mayloma, @ellethespaceunicorn, @littlefreya, @ylva-syverson, @omgkatinka, @livisss, @wa-ni and @sillyrabbit81 because maybe there's a chance they'd be interested in this as well? OH WELL.)

I'm not entirely sure when this will be set, it's going to be 1960s or before that, even. To be decided, I guess. We're going for some Agatha Christie-vibes with a Nile cruise type situation, except the main point of this fic is not murder mystery but sex and scandal. Okay let's go.

With a single finger I trace the string of pearls around my neck. They've been left in my drawer for far too long, but my heinously proper mother-in-law insisted I sober up my wardrobe during the time following her son's death.             I'd say it has been my pleasure to honor the memory of my late husband this way, but I won’t. And not because I’d be lying — Lord knows I have no problems with that at all. I would object to saying such things mostly because that one sentence would consist of so many lies it would quickly become complicated. And I happen to detest complications.             My late husband had been by far my most detested complication in life — which would be why I haven’t shed a single genuine tear over his demise. Some would deem it untimely, but I disagree. After all, if I were being perfectly candid… He had it coming.

When they call her recently widowed, she herself would much rather speak of newly released — though such a thing is quite unbecoming for a lady to say.

Even oversees, she is surrounded by the whispers she sought so desperately to leave behind. Allegations of the foulest kind with regard to her proposed involvement in her husband's sudden passing — lies! All of them!

Now, if one were to seek distraction from such terrible rumours, where would one turn? The handsome, flirtatious cruise director (Napoleon)? The wide-eyed, young bell boy (Mike)? The quiet, standoffish captain? (Sy) Perhaps the broody mystery novelist (Walter), or the polite but professionally distant lounge pianist (Sherlock)?

How does a lady make such a choice? And if everyone promises their discretion... does she even really have to? Especially when some find themselves silenced in more irreversible ways...

So, there's that.

Rules: In a new post, post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

@deandoesthingstome Thank you SO MUCH for the tag. I know this wasn't a setup. You'd NEVER do that, would you? You bitch (affectionate).

Here we fucking go...

Diary of a pretty boy

DKITYTI Pt2

Marshall + Lexi date

MikeSyReader

Part of your world

pirate fic

Shot through the heart

Sit

Nicely with a bow

Puppy love

werewolf!Geralt x druid

Widowmaker

Librarian threesome

priest!August

And that's it!

Did I put one or two of these on here as bait? Yes.

Am I sorry? No.

I'm sure everyone's been tagged at this point, but just in case...

@mayloma @gummydummy19 @ellethespaceunicorn @sillyrabbit81 @littlefreya @ramadiiiisme

And literally anyone else who wants to participate!

@geralts-yenn I know for a fact you were tagged already but I figured you wouldn't want to miss this post...

[ursulaismymiddlename]

A Spark in the Night | Dream of the Endless x Reader

A spark of inspiration, kindled in The Dreaming

Rated E for Endless, Eyes, and Everyone wishes they could be in this library, don't lie

A special note to thanks @captainpoopweinersoldier for reminding me that in these fics, these dreams, we can and must be the best versions of ourselves, for our souls, for our sanity. What once was a wallow fest of self-doubt and insecurity has blossomed with hope and catharsis. Thank you, Lisa, for not giving up on me and for all your encouragement. <3

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The hallways of your high school don’t look quite like you remember.  They’re too bright and too empty and… since when was there a rabbit hutch on the wall instead of lockers?  There aren’t even any rabbits in it, just downy little feathers fluttering about, but you know it’s a rabbit hutch just the same.  And why are you even here?  What class could you possibly be missing? Didn’t you graduate already?

A dream.

You’re walking through a dream.

And yet, even knowing this now, you still feel an urgency to duck into one of the classrooms.  Like you’re expected.  And you don’t want to disappoint whoever is waiting.

But what is through the door is no classroom.  It’s really unlike anything you’ve ever seen before.  The marble tiles seem to glow, bathing the place in a surreal light that travels up the half dozen chiseled columns and archways.  Archways that seem to magically dissolve into a purpled midnight sky where a ceiling ought to be.  It dances with an aurora borealis in vivid greens and electric blues that nearly stop your heart as you stare in wonder.

The sound of a book closing draws your attention back downward.  A large ornately carved table commands the center of the place, the darkest wood of it matching the brimming bookcases that line the walls.  At one end of the table sits a singular high-backed chair, and in it, a man with a leather bound tome in his pale hand.

Dream.

You realize he must have been watching you since you came in, but when your eyes finally settle on him, the ghost of a smile crosses his face as he tilts his head.  “Ah, there you are.  I have been waiting for you.”

“Sorry,” you mutter offhand, attention torn between the marvel above you and the Dream Lord as you draw closer.  “What is this place?”

“There’s no need for apologies.”  He stands then, looking every bit the ethereal king you know him to be, but there’s something endearingly mundane about the way he cradles the book in his hand and straightens his shoulders formally.  “Welcome to my library.”

That takes you aback.  This place is much too small to be The Dreaming’s library, no way all the stories of the collective unconscious could be housed in these beautiful, but decidedly close quarters.  As if reading your mind, or perhaps just the puzzlement on your face, Morpheus adds “This is my private collection.  I thought it to be… less overwhelming.”

You stop beside the table, glancing up once more at the colors dancing above you both, and fix him with an incredulous look.  “Right, much less overwhelming.”

His gaze follows yours up to the lights a moment, falling back to your face with the slightest quirk at the corner of his lips.  And it almost seems like the flickering blue has been caught in his eyes as he rounds the corner of the table to approach you.  Your mind takes you back to your first meeting with this Endless and you realize that blanket of calm has returned.  Except where there was once fear, something else rests in your chest.  Something else you’re not quite sure you have a name for just yet.

“I wrote the thing,” you offer, remembering the last dream and the story ideas that had flooded your mind. How he had already known them as sure as anything you’d actually put to paper.  “The angsty one.”

“I know.” Of course he does, how could you have possibly thought otherwise.  But there isn’t any smugness in the look he gives you as he stops a scant arm’s length away.  It’s softer.  It’s… kind.  “I am pleased to hear it. Now, what shall your next one be?”

The book he’d been reading is still in his hand; he raises it in acknowledgement before setting it on the table between you both and you suddenly know that’s it. That’s the book that holds all your stories, everything you’ve ever written and everything you’ve never written.  Without realizing, your hand finds its way to the cover, itching to open it, to know.  But you stay yourself, fingers feeling along the spine wistfully.

“I don’t know.”  You shrug a little, letting your hand drop to your side as you look back up at him.  “Matthew, maybe?”

Lord Morpheus, Dream of the Endless, surprises you with a half-annoyed little huff.  “He will be flattered, I’m sure.”

Your lips draw thin as you try to contain yourself, peering at him curiously.  “Jealous?”

Perhaps you were too bold, because your heart drops at the affronted way he raises his chin, brow cinched and lips parted as if to retort, to deny.  But the spark in his eyes softens first, followed slowly by his expression, into something that feels almost playful.

“Are you laughing at me?”  He squints at you, studying you, though his mouth quirks gently.

“No!” It comes out so sharp and fast you nearly startle yourself.  This only seems to amuse the Dream King more.  “No, of course not.”

His gentle hum is enough to soothe any worry in you.  Though not quite enough to dispel your look of chagrin or the heat in your cheeks.  Those you try hiding with another glance up at the color dancing across the glittering sky above.  It’s beautiful, wondrous, and threatens to make you feel so small.  Except…

“Can I…” You pause a moment to look at Dream again, not exactly sure where the ember of curiosity has come from, but feeling it fanned by the way this Endless watches you so intently.  “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

The confused pinch between his brow really does make you laugh this time.  Though it’s more at yourself than him; nervous, delirious, uncertain.

“Why give me all these ideas?” you continue with a little shake of your head.  “Why show me these things?  This place?”

“Because I wish to read them.”  As though it is the most obvious thing in the world and not some mystery tickling at your brain.

You guffaw at that, momentarily dumbfounded by what feels like a celestial joke. Spinning on your heel to escape his constant starry gaze for a breath, you take a few aimless steps.  “Okay… then why me?  There are plenty of people you could get to write for you.”

Morpheus’s fingers wrap around your elbow, gently urge you back toward him.  His eyes study you like some fascinating puzzle he can’t quite sus out.  “You humans are so strange.  Half hope, half doubt.  Never knowing quite which side to fall on.”

“You’ve never doubted yourself before?” You’re not sure where such words, such bold familiarity comes from, but out it tumbles in a gentle press; a little plea for empathy.

This gives him a moment’s pause before a soft smile warms his pale features.  “Perhaps that is why you, Little Writer. Or that I whisper these things to you and you build worlds with them. As sure as anything I build in The Dreaming.  It is your words I want for my library.  I will keep them well here.”

Speechless.  Something aches inside you at his sincerity, at the way he speaks his last sentence like a reassuring oath. He asks for your words and yet there are none in this moment you can piece together in response.  

But this doesn’t deter the Dream King.  He merely steps closer, cool fingers tracing electric  down your arm to settle at your wrist.  And his voice is somehow deeper in its quiet, its intimacy.  “Let others have their dreams and inspirations.  Let me be yours.”

“Mine?”  It comes out unbidden, a choked whisper into the space between you, more longing in it than you realize.  It deepens the ache in you, finding that feeling of wonder and smallness in his glittering eyes, as striking as the vaulted ceiling above.

Realization seems to dawn on Dream’s face and his soft, amused chuckle hums in your chest.  He knows.  He sees your ache and your smallness.  But he doesn’t back away, he doesn’t back down.  Instead, delicate fingers clasp your near trembling hand.

“I thought I’d made my intentions quite obvious,” he muses, perhaps more to himself than anything, raising your joined hands to press a chaste kiss to your knuckles.  “I mean to court you, Little Writer.  If you allow it.”

“Court me?”  You blink, shocked, flustered.  Skin all too alive under the barest brush of his lips.  Feeling all too like some dumbfounded parrot with the way you can only repeat his words that strike you hardest.

The barest hint of concern etches his features, though his gentle touch never falters.  “Are my advances… unwelcome?”

You nearly find yourself repeating him again in your haze, but you catch it, gaping mouth snapping shut as you force yourself to a more coherent answer.  “Not unwelcome. Just unexpected.”

This seems to please him.  You can almost feel it in his touch, it hitches your breath ever so quietly.  That pleases him too, his mouth tilting smug.  “Have I overwhelmed you?”

“Oh, maybe just a little,” you manage to snark back at him, earning a wider grin that heats your face like the sun. Your eyes scan the room again, across the starry ceiling, trying to calm your wild heart.  “I’d hate to think just how overwhelmed I’d be if you’d picked some place else.”

“Then my apologies are in order,” Dream murmurs gently, fingers slipping from your hand.  But before you can protest, they’re silencing you with a touch at your chin, holding your gaze on him lest it wander again.  And it’s all so very soft you could melt.  “Morning breaks in your realm.  The Waking World calls you.”

“Can’t I stay here,” you whisper, though you can feel the truth of his words, see pinks and oranges starting to leech into the starry night beyond his dark mess of hair.

“But then who shall write these stories for me? Or for my dreamers?”  His quiet tease does nothing to change your mind. Yet still you feel yourself slipping away, eyes heavy, fluttering closed at the feel of his thumb grazing the curve of your lips.  “Go, Little Writer.  I’ll be here when you return…”

Your eyes blink open slowly to sunlight streaming in through your bedroom window.  Some black bird flutters past and brings a wistful smile to your face.  What a wild dream. Your old high school.  A gorgeous, dancing sky.  A dark-haired man with stars for eyes.  

If only you could remember more…

[snippychicke]

For the Sake of a Smile --Ch. Five

Title: For the Sake of a Smile-- Chapter Five

Fandom: Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun!

Summary: Hell on earth was your motto for your job. Granted, you were pretty sure earth really was hell, considering the shit you had seen. And the fact your coworker was a child. Suzuki Iruma, in fact. A kid who’s life was decidedly worse than yours, but smiled despite everything.

And you’d do a lot for his smile. Including summoning a demon and signing your life away.

But as it turns out, hell (The Netherworld, actually) was a lot better than living on earth. Demons were more humane than a lot of humans you knew.

And Iruma’s smile wasn’t the only one that would change your life.

Short Four | AO3 | mairimashitai! Simps Discord *NEW*

Events were a whirlwind after the death of the carmine dragon. 

The three beasts that had been scattered across the park had somehow merged, terrifying you for a few short moments before Opera, Kalego, and Balam took it down so easily it wasn't funny. 

And, seeing the infamous Professor Fluffego you had heard many rumors about was an experience. As was watching both Opera and Balam go a little crazy over the cute little fluffball. 

"You must feel how fluffy he is!" Both Balam and Opera insisted, holding the very dour looking Kalego towards you. Despite the inherent cuteness, his dark eyes were filled with rage and the promise of death, so you tried to settle for a quick ruffle. 

But, oh, his fur was like velvet mixed with silk. So thick, soft, and fluffy. You were hypnotized by the feel, your fingers running through the fluff. "Oh. Wow. He is fluffy." 

"There is a magical beast raging and you are all obsessed with how fluffy I am?!" Kalego raged, though it only halfway broke the trance.

"Well, to be fair, you are impossibly cute and fluffy."

Not that being stuck in the small adorable fluffy-wuffy form prevented Kalego from assisting in destroying the chimera beast. Between Cerebrus (who…looked like a puppy? Was that normal?), Nigyul, and Opera, all it took was one attack from the three and the chimera was defeated.

Or so everyone thought for one, wonderful, moment before the chimera became a magical time-bomb, threatening to take out the park’s shelter in a kamikaze blast. 

You were still reeling with the horrified realization, remember Opera mentioning that Sullivan had stayed back at the shelter to help keep the other survivors calm, that it took a while to realize Iruma had disappeared from your side and instead had appeared before Ronovoe. A split second later, strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you tight against Balam's body, preventing you from racing after him.

 "Let me go!" You screamed as you fought against Balam's grip to no avail. "Iruma! IRUMA! Damn it, Let me go, Balam!"

"I'm sorry, but it would be suicide,” he offered, his voice rumbling through his chest and into your back as much as into your ears. “I can't reasonably allow both of you to die." 

"No, please!" you repeated, looking over to Opera and Kalego, hoping, praying, they would do something. Anything. 

Yet, they seemed as resigned as they stood, somber expressions on their face. Maybe… maybe there really wasn’t anything anyone could do. 

Despair crashed down as you sagged against Balam, who's embrace went from restraining to supporting seamlessly. "Iruma…" how? How could it end like this? You had both finally had a life that seemed better than you could ever hope for. The future had looked bright, and now….

Now it looked grim.

Balam held you tight as the light of the chimera brightened, and you couldn't bear to watch. You turned and pressed your face into his chest, barely retraining a sob. Why? Why would Iruma be so foolish? Surely he recognized he couldn't stop that when even the adults called it impossible? 

The light slowly faded, but you didn't move. Instead you clutched tighter, unwilling to face the truth. 

"Look," Balam encouraged, though it was his amazed tone that compelled you to look up. 

And there was your son, collapsed on the ground, not only alive, but looking more startled than injured. Balam finally released you, allowing you to climb the rim of the Agares's crater before pulling the boy into a bone-crushing hug.

---

“Did you doubt our ability to take care of Master Iruma?” Opera asked, during the parade, the four of you standing on a float, watching the students (and Sullivan) excitedly wave at the crowd. You weren’t exactly sure what had all happened, in retrospect. It felt like one minute you were celebrating the fact everyone had lived, your son and his classmates heroes, and the next somehow a grande parade had been arranged and you were corralled into joining.

“What? No! Nothing like that," you spluttered as you realized what they implied, and the fact Kalego was looking toward you as well, expectanting an answer. "I just saw the news and panicked! And then, well, you know how dad gets….” 

“Both of you are very overprotective,” Kalego sighed, shaking his head. “I’m not sure how Iruma ended up with such a martyr complex between you two always coddling him.”

“Well, that’s a long story…” you trailed off as your eyes drifted to Balam, who was more focused on the surrounding crowds. He gave a small wave to the crowd below and you noticed the torn, singed state of his glove, and what you presumed was discolored flesh beneath. 

 You didn’t even pause before taking his arm in your hands, searching for any burn marks. That shifted when you realized his skin wasn't burnt, but the flesh of his forearm mimicked his legs with yellowed scales, capturing your curiosity. Your fingers brushed the yellow flesh that felt rather like soft leather, then where it shifted into small, hard scales. 

Then you realized what exactly you were doing.“I-I am so sorry!” You yanked your hands away, flushing as you looked up at his face, which was just as red as yours. “That was completely inappropriate of me. Oh my devi, I'm so sorry! I swear I just wanted to make sure you were okay!” 

“It’s…” Balam started, but paused when Kalego made an odd noise. The dark-haired teacher turned the other way, but you could see his shoulders were shaking slightly.

 “Kalego?” 

The professor shook his head before taking a deep breath and returning to normal. Still, he looked rather… amused as he looked down at you. “I never thought I’d see someone apologize to Shichiro for touching.” 

“It is rather ironic,” Opera agreed, their ears betraying their own amusement. "And adorable." 

"I'm not--! It's not--!" You stuttered, your face feeling hotter than the carmine dragon's fiery blast. Your gaze happened to meet Balam's, and couldn't stand it anymore. You covered your face with your hands as you whined, wishing you had some sort of magic to just disappear. 

Beside you, hidden by his mask, Balam was smiling slightly, though he avoided looking at you as well. Opera was right, you were rather adorable. And reckless, brave, compassionate, just… amazing. 

He just hoped that today wasn't an indication about how often you and Iruma were going to give him heart attacks in the future.

---

The dinning hall was a ruckus between the misfit class telling each other their adventures and devouring the banquet before them. Sabro and Asmodues arguing loudly as they retold their own fight against the dragon. Which was about as loud as the others as they retold their own fights (or, for Opera's 'team' taking shelter and the spontaneous concert from the demidol, Kuromu.)

You smiled, amused by antics of the teens, happy to see Iruma so happy as he laughed and joined in the fun. But yet, you couldn’t help but notice that not only was Balam absent, but so was Kalego.

“Kalego likely snuck away to Shichiro’s room,” Opera offered quietly after noticing you looking for the two demons. “He doesn’t do well with crowds, and Shichiro can be quite shy eating around others.”

You couldn’t hide your dejection when you realized what Opera said was indeed true. As much fun as it was watching the teens, you had to admit, you did miss being around others your own (presumed) age. Granted, there was Opera, but their focus, as always, was on Sullivan and Iruma. 

“Kalgeo doesn’t like sweets, however,” Opera continued, their gold eyes twinkling with mischievous light. “I’m sure Shichiro would be happy if you brought him a couple pieces of that chocolate cake.” 

“You think Miss Azazel would let me steal a few?” you partially joked back, watching the fiery-haired demoness protect the decadent cake with the same passion you saw her use at school during arguments. 

“Perhaps…” 

Before you knew what was really going on, you had a tray full of sweets, cake included along with a bottle of some kind of alcohol Ronovoe's father had encouraged you to take when you said you were taking it to the other teachers. 

So, once more, you found yourself awkwardly waiting in front of Balam’s door, wondering if you could disappear before the door opened. Except it wasn't Balam, but Kalego, who opened the door. 

“Er, hi,” you greeted, “ I brought…” 

You were interrupted as Kalego picked up the bottle, looking mildly interested. “This would actually be perfect. Don’t you agree, Shichiro?” 

Kalego turned, holding up the bottle for Balam to see. You couldn’t help but peek inside the room just as Balam turned in the middle of slurping up some noodles. His eyes met yours, quickly growing in surprise and dread. He quickly moved to cover his face, but you had already seen the scar and his large, prominent fangs. 

“Ow,” you whispered, touching your own face in sympathy. "That.. didn’t happen today, did it?” 

“Hardly,” Kalego scoffed, grabbing the cuff of your top to drag you inside before you could do anything, and closing the door behind you. While he returned to the table, you stayed near the door, not sure you were entirely welcomed. Not from the way Balam was quickly searching for his mask, one hand still trying to hide the scar. 

“I could leave, if you would prefer,” you offered, taking a step closer to the door, though your hands were still rather laden down with the tray of sweets. The last thing you wanted to do is make your friend uncomfortable. 

“It’s not that I don’t want you here, it’s just I don’t want to… disturb you,” Balam answered distractfully, still looking for his mask. 

“You won’t,” you answered automatically. “I’ve been around some rather disfigured individuals at my old job, so I kinda got used to… those kinds of things.” Was that rude? Awkward? Okay, it was definitely awkward, but was it especially awkward for him?

“She has cake,” Kalego pointed out, having gathered a few glasses and settled at the table, pouring the alcohol between the three glasses. 

That caught Balam’s attention, his expression shifting from panicked to interested. You tilted the tray carefully, allowing him to see the dozens of different sweets that sat on it, not just the decadent-looking cake. There was no missing his conflicted look as he stared, clearly entranced by the offer but worried about his appearance. 

“I could leave this for you guys if that makes you more comfortable?” 

Balam hesitated before lowering his hand, revealing his scar in its full glory. It looked liked someone had ripped part of his lips and cheek away, exposing his large, sharp teeth. 

You refused to allow yourself to react, and instead stepped up and offered the tray, holding his gaze evenly as you smiled. 

And, slowly, a smile spread across his own face, making your stomach twist. Even with the scar, he… he really was handsome. 

“You can stay if you want,” Balam finally decided, scooting slightly to give you space--notably the side where you wouldn’t see his scar. 

You happily took the seat as you set down the tray. Almost as soon as you did, Kalego set a glass in front of you and Balam. And while the dark-haired teacher likely wasn't issuing it as a challenge, l just a gesture of hospitality, unfortunately, you had been conditioned by years of being around humans that always thought lesser of you because of your mother-hen nature. They set a glass before you, challenging you to prove you weren't as weak as they claimed. 

And, well, to survive amongst them, you had to meet the challenge head on. And, in the human world, you could at least garner a little respect with a few straight shots. 

Tequila and vodka had nothing on demon liquor. The warmth was smooth, less like a burn and more like warm honey. Honey that flowed instantly through your body, wrapping your mind in a cuddly warm blanket. 

You were barely aware of shifting into Balam's side, tempted by the warmth he radiated, or when his arm naturally curled around you. But you were quite aware of looking up at his face, smiling reassuringly at his worried expression. “That isn’t the kind of drink one usually takes shots with.” 

“Remind me never to give her the high-quality stuff again,” Kalego mumbled, sipping at his glass. “It would go absolutely wasted.” 

“Oh,” you mused, a vague feeling of guilt trying to creep up your spine. “I, uh, didn’t know that. I’ll remember that next time.” 

“Have you had… alcohol before?” Balam asked, mulling over his choice of words. While he trusted Kalego explicitly, he wasn’t sure how he would react to finding out your secret. 

Wait, would you be able to choose your words wisely in this state? 

“Not since moving in with Lord Sullivan,” you answered, relieving his fear. “But before that, very occasionally. Usually when I somehow got roped into attending an event with my lovely coworkers. They always wanted me to prove myself or some other shit.” 

"While the faculty occasionally has gatherings involving alcohol, if one of them tries to coerce you into a drink, that is strictly against the rules." 

Balam wasn't sure if Kalego was trying to be reassuring or just stating a fact, but tried to reinforce the idea as he petted your hair. "You don't have to prove anything to anyone, least of all us." 

Your lip quivered at his words, and his smile. These two, whose power was unimaginable, the fact Balam knew there was no way you could ever be considered his equal. "You guys are the best, I swear. I-I will fight whoever argues otherwise." 

Kalego snorted, amused by your declaration. "I think I would be willing to pay to watch that."

Short Five

[goldengoddess]

best part of me, sunshine

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

request: your work is literal art! the way you write kaz is so endearing. i was gonna request - if you’re up for it - a reader who’s a literal ray of sunshine as a human being and kaz being his moody self and their interactions whilst in a developed relationship. you can totally be creative with this one and you’re amazing!! :D

a/n: i got SO outta hand with this only bc i totally projected bc this is the kinda person i am LMAO also THIS IS TOTALLY MY FAVORITE TROPE OR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC best best thing ever anon thank you for this request i hope u like it! and thank u so much ur so freaking kind

warnings: some angst? like kinda in the middle? basically kaz getting into a mood and taking it out on the reader a little bit but HAPPY ENDINGS PEOPLE

you were the best part of him

he knew it

you knew it

everyone around him knew it

your energy, the pure light you brought into the world, was the best part of kaz’s life

no one was sure when the two of you became a ‘thing’

one day you were just there

to kaz there was before and after you

and frankly he didn’t really care about the before

he just cared about you

but kaz was, well, kaz

he wasn’t exactly the most, um como se dice, easy to get along with person

but you never seemed to mind

your extroverted ‘i get along and love every person i meet’ personality had won him over the way it won over everyone else

and though the two of you were quiet literally the opposites attract theory, it worked

it worked really well

kaz had his moods

but they never seemed to bring you down

he’d stand in the corner of the crow club

broody and observant

and you would gracefully move through the crowd

and he’d watch as you talked with total strangers

and when you bid them goodbye they would be left smiling, or blushing, sometimes both

he couldn’t deny your affect on people

you made business boom

everyone loved your energy

and when they found of you were kaz’s they would laugh and shake their head in disbelief

you’d come up to him during a busy night and tug at his sleep

“kaz! theres a man over there who sells goats! actual goats! he was telling me all about it, i think we should get one? what do you think? kind of like a mascot, oh wait! maybe we should get a crow instead?”

he’d listen to you ramble and find himself leaning your way

soaking in your warmth

the corners of his lips involuntary tugging upwards the way they always did when you spoke

you’d drag him along occasionally

to meet someone particularly interesting

or meet a surprisingly cute goat named milo

sometimes he’d even enjoy being at your side

he liked how you showed him off like he was something to be proud of you

because you were

proud of him

proud to be his

proud that the two of you could love each other

you’d make the best comments to him throughout the night

whispered into his ear of course

“nina told me this woman actually came here from ravka! saints i’d love to go”

or

“kaz she is just so pretty! maybe i should dye my hair like that? what do you think? could be fun! oh you should totally do it with me.”

you filled his days in a way he didn’t know was possible

in return he slowed you down

you were sunshine, as the poets might like to say

and you were in constant motion

always trying to be active and helping others

always smiling

sometimes, even at the expense of your own well being and peace

you’d be up early, earlier than even kaz, busying yourself around his room or the slat

and you’d walk up to his bed as he woke up,

and you would be so tired, exhausted even

but you’d smile down at kaz

“can we just lie here for a bit?” he would ask

you’d let out a breath of relief

because he knew

that you were pushing your limits

and you’d lay next to him

fingertips brushing against each other

just for a few minutes

he knew the ways to make you recharge

so your sunshine personality was genuine and not faked

some days were decidedly not so great

kaz’s moods could be turbulent

he never meant to let them affect his attitude towards you

but kaz had suffered through hell, multiple times

and it just took over some days

you could brush certain things of

but then he’d push you away when you attempted to make him smile or calm him down

you’d leave a comforting hand on his shoulder, the way you always did

as he’d recoil

“saints, can you go do anything else” he would growl

or when he really needed to fight he’d yell something along the lines of: “you are not helping! you’re too much right now.”

and you’d flinch at his words

and he would regret them immediately

you’d stick your chin up higher and make your way towards the door

“kaz, i know you’re hurting right now. i’ll give you space, even though i don’t think you really want that. but this is how i am. i am happy. i am comforting. i will not let you make me feel less than for that.”

and you’d slam the door, hurrying to your room so you could breathe

kaz would follow you

his bad mood gone and replaced with deep deep shame

he never meant any of the things he said to you when he got into a mood, never

and you were right, he wanted to you there always

but another part of him pushed and pushed

he’d knock on your door the way he always did after he said something much too cruel for you

you’d open it, with your soft, beautiful, sympathetic smile

“you ready to stop acting so much like a teenager and talk to me?” you would ask, hand on your hip

he would nod and give you an actual smile, just to make up for everything

everything would be good by the end of the night

the air smelling of kaz’s favorite candle and your head on his shoulder as you recounted your day to him

everyone had, fittingly, dubbed you ‘sunshine’

you heard it even more than you heard your name at this point

to kaz, you were still angel

you always would be

but occasionally he’d throw in your most common pet name

like when you came up to him

buzzing with energy

all giggly and glowing

and leave quick kisses all over his face

excited and bubbling with joy and love for him

and he would just be blown away by you once again

how something so undeniably good could exist in this hellish city

he’d grab your face and a smile would tug at his lips

“you are the best part of me, sunshine” he would tell you

and kiss your forehead before walking off

unknowingly, leaving you with more happiness in your chest than usual

[zafirosreverie]

Must be the eyes (Teacher!Agatha x Fem!Student!Reader) part 3

(Part 1) (part 2)

a/n: this is too cliché and I’m sorry for that. not really.

- - - - - - - - -

"I'm going to kill you" you hit Nick hard

"Ouch!" he exclaimed as he rubbed his shoulder "Damn Y/N, you have a good arm, you should consider boxing"

"Shut up! I’m mad at you!" you growled

"I know, I know! I'm sorry!" Nick threw up his hands in surrender "Listen, I didn't think Dalton was going to sit with me, okay? We were just chatting and I thought he would go to his seat as soon as we left"

"Ah, so leaving me standing in the hallway until your boyfriend left was the option? How is that better, Jadu?!" you crossed your arms.

"Sorry!" he said again "... but it wasn't that bad, was it? I mean, you ended up sitting with Ms Harkness"

"Yes, and then I used her as a pillow!" you hissed "Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?! She sure hates me now, Nick!"

"I don't think she does" he smiled at you "she has been looking at you since we arrived"

It was true. Since you hurriedly got down of the bus, and in all the time that you had been in the hotel lobby (seriously, how hard was it to give you your rooms?! Why did they have to keep you there for hours?), you could feel the brunette’s eyes on you. But you hadn't been able to look at her face, so you only glanced at her from time to time.

"And?" you asked

"Well, it's true that it could be a 'I'm planning your murder, Y/L/N' look" he joked "But, at least from here, it seems more like a 'I want you to use me as a pillow again, and as a whole bed if you want' look"

You blushed and hit him again.

"Shut up" you muttered "You're on thin ice, Jadu"

He laughed and hugged you from behind. He was much taller than you, so you could hear his heart. You felt safe with him, like an older brother taking care of you.

But you weren't going to forgive him so easily.

"Get off, Nick" you growled jokingly and crossed your arms

"Ok, plan B then" he said and released you, then dropped to one knee and took your hands.

You laughed at his silliness and quickly put yourself on role by faking a pout.

"Y/N  Y/L/N, my precious friend" he said "I am very sorry I hurted your feelings. What can this humble being do to earn your forgiveness?"

You stifled a laugh and tried not to smile "Nicholas Jadu, my idiot friend" you said "I'm afraid there is nothing you can do this time. Your offense is very serious"

"Please, my lady" he laughed "How about I offer you a book as a sacrifice?"

"Uhmm ... add a chamomile tea and you have a deal"

"deal"

Neither could hold your laughter any longer. You helped him to his feet and he put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer and ruffling your hair.

_________

Agatha couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy when she saw you laughing and playing with Nicholas. She knew she had no right to be jealous, especially when you were just talking to your friend like she had always seen you do since your first year at school.

She didn't want to hate the boy either (okay, maybe hate was a very strong word. She was just a little mad at him), because it wasn't his fault that she felt that way. He had no way of knowing that his closeness to you stirred his teacher's stomach. But she couldn't help it. Seeing you so happy and careless, hugging him and joking with him, was a lot for her. That, that was something she wanted.

She was so distracted by your interaction with Nicholas, that she didn't really pay attention to what Wanda and Jimmy were saying until her redhead pulled her by the arm and made her look at them.

"Agatha, do you agree?" she asked, making the brunette curse herself for not paying attention.

"Oh sorry hon, what?" she blinked.

"Weren't you listening?" Jimmy asked. Agatha rolled her eyes

"Well someone had to keep an eye on the kids while you guys were distracted at the reception" she lied.

"Sure" Wanda rolled her eyes before sighing "we have a problem"

"Now what?"

"We should have been suspicious when we were missing seats on the bus" Jimmy muttered, but the brunette didn't even turn to him.

"It seems we had more than one error when we did the math" Wanda told her.

"Are we missing a room too?" Agatha asked

"Something like that" replied the redhead "It seems that we are missing one on the girls’ side, and we have one left on the boys' side"

"But we can't let a female student sleep in the boys' area" Jimmy said.

"Not by law" agreed Wanda

"Okay" Agatha sighed "and I'm assuming the hotel can't change it"

"Nope"

Agatha sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. This trip was proving to be a headache and they have just arrived.

"But we thought of a solution" the redhead quickly assured her.

"Which is?" the brunette raised her eyebrow

"Our shared room is registered" Wanda said "And as teachers, one of us can occupy the room on the boys' side, while the other stays with the girls"

"And since they ... respect you more, we thought it was a good idea if you stayed with them" added Jimmy

"So, Wanda will sleep on the boys' side while I take care of the girls, and you want me to share a room with one of them."

"A student sharing a room with her teacher is not against school law as it would be to let the girl sleep on the boys' side" said Wanda

"Stupid heteronormative laws" Agatha thought "They're college students! They know what they’re doing! And it's not like everyone is straight, especially in this college. I'm sure 70% of our students are part of the LGBT + community"

But she couldn't say that out loud. So she just sighed and nodded

"Okay, I stay with the girls"

"Excellent" Wanda smiled "Now we just have to tell them"

___________

Agatha Harkness was not a woman who considered herself evil ... well, not too much. But she couldn't deny that she was slightly proud of the scared looks and worried murmurs from her students when Wanda told them that they would stay in charge of her.

"So who will share a room with Ms Harkness?" the redhead asked.

Agatha felt strangely confident and a little relieved. She knew you wouldn't volunteer in a million years, so she wouldn't have to deal with her feelings and spending time with another student might help her get rid of them. She wouldn't be tempted by you.

"Y/L/N will do it" a voice yelled, causing the brunette to frown.

Wait, what?

But she wasn't the only one confused by the statement.

You had been in the back of the group throughout Professor Maximoff's speech, decidedly avoiding looking at the brunette, no matter how many funny looks Nick gave you.

When she said someone should sleep with Ms Harkness, you thought that girl was lucky, but it was definitely not going to be you. There was no way in the world you would offer yourself, especially after what had happened on the bus. The statement made you freeze.

"Y/L/N will do it" Susana yelled, a few steps ahead of you.

"Wait, what?" you murmured, before feeling all eyes on you.

"Come on Y/N" someone whispered near you "You are the witch tamer"

"The what?" you frowned

"You are Harkness' favorite student" Susana confirmed "You are the only one who could survive the kraken"

"Okay, that's an exaggeration" you rolled your eyes

But it seemed like your classmates only heard the first word, because they immediately pushed you to the front of the group, offering you as a human sacrifice to the witch woman.

"Excellent" smiled the red-haired teacher "Everything settled then. Form two lines, men with Professor Woo and me, women with Professor Harkness" she said, totally oblivious to the scared look in your eyes or the way the brunette froze.

As everyone moved, you felt Nick's hand on your back and turned to look at him. He was smiling at you, but in a reassuring way, there was no mockery in his smile.

"You'll be fine Y/N" he assured you "Just charge your phone as soon as you enter the room and I will talk to you until you fall asleep"

You smiled at him gratefully. You really didn't deserve him.

"Thank you" you whispered.

Nick smiled at you one last time before he went to his line. Sighing, you took your things to form yours too, praying that you could survive these two weeks.

Looking quickly at your teacher, you could see that at least she seemed normal. She didn't look at you while she handed out the keys to the rooms, or when you guys got on the elevator. Perhaps she had already forgotten the incident. You wish you could too.

What you didn't know was that you weren't the only one panicking.

Agatha tried to appear calm and collected, as if she didn't care at all about the situation. She used all her willpower not to look at you while she did her chaperone duties, using her voice of authority. She had a reputation to uphold, after all.

But inside, she could feel her circuits melting and the little voices in her head screaming in panic.

"Shit, shit, shit! This wasn’t in the plan! Abort mission, abort, abort, abort! Mayday, mayday, mayday"

She needed to calm down. She needed to regain her self-control.

So she gave you the room keys, saying that she needed to do her rounds to make sure everyone was in their rooms, needing to put as much distance between you as possible.

____________

You sighed in relief as the hot water from the shower hit your back. You hadn't realized how tense you were.

You cursed Susana and the others in a low voice. How could they sacrifice you like this? Damn traitors. You knew there was no way they could know about your crush (although you honestly thought you were pretty obvious), so they weren't doing it because they hated you. But still, damn it.

"Two weeks" you whispered "Only two weeks. You can do it Y/N"

You desperately wished you could believe your own words.

_______________

It took Agatha almost three hours to get to the room. She had been helping the girls get settled in, making sure everything was in order.

Some of them had had problems with their suitcases, so she had to solve that mess. She was totally not delaying going to her own room.

And she was definitely not thinking about the beautiful girl who was waiting for her there.

Ok, that sounded bad even in her head.

You weren't waiting for her. It wasn't like you were in her bed, in your underwear, specifically waiting for her to give yourself completely to her and-

"Enough" she mentally scolded herself. She shouldn't be having those thoughts about you.

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, turning her attention to the hallway as the girls obediently entered into their rooms. She almost wished they weren't well-behaved little angels. Sure, she knew they were actually terrified of her, but it didn't matter.

The point was, she finished pretty fast (well, fast in her opinion) and she soon found herself reluctantly walking up to her room.

"Well ... let's get this over with" she thought as she used the other key "hopefully everything will be fine"

____________

It wasn’t fine. IT WASN’T FINE!

Agatha had almost turned and fled the room when she saw you lying on the bed.

You weren't exactly in your underwear, surrounded by rose petals, with candles as the only lighting and waiting for her in a seductive pose. No.

But you were lying on your stomach, wearing a set of shorts and a tank top as pajamas, in the middle of the bed, with the lamp on and reading peacefully. And for some reason, that was even sexier than her fantasy.

You looked so relaxed, so peaceful. Your legs kicked calmly as your hands turned the pages of the book, and your blouse left little to the imagination, showing the upper part of your breasts.

For a moment she imagined herself approaching you, gently removing the book from your hands, before kissing you deeply as she climbed on top of you.

She imagined running a hand up your stomach, lifting your tank top little by little. She wondered how your skin would feel under her touch. Would you blush if she caressed the base of your breasts? Or if she kissed your neck? What noise would you make if she lowered her hand to the spring of your shorts and-

Agatha cleared her throat to cover her moan. The noise made you jump up and look at her.

You were so focused on your reading that you hadn't noticed the other's presence. You hadn't even heard the door open. You looked at your teacher and couldn't help noticing the blush that adorned her cheeks. She seemed agitated.

"Are you okay Ms Harkness?" you asked softly, starting to get up. Getting close to her was the last thing you wanted to do, but you couldn't help but worry about her. Fortunately, you didn't have to.

"Perfectly fine, Miss Y/L/N" she smiled at you, although it seemed forced "However, I think the fatigue of the trip is catching up with me" she said, hurriedly walking to the other side of the room, where her suitcase was still unpacked. At least there were two beds, she wouldn’t have to be tortured by sleeping next to you.

You didn't say anything, a little confused by her attitude. You simply nodded and refocused on your reading.

Agatha was grateful for that. However, as she took her things out of the suitcase, she kept stealing glances at you, getting a little mad at you with every second that passed.

Who had given you permission to get into her head like this? You had no right to greet her in pajamas, to leave your legs and collarbones exposed for her to see. You had no right to drive her crazy, and then act worried about her, like it wasn't your fault she was a mess in the first place.

The fact that you didn't know the power you had over her wasn't a good enough excuse in her opinion.

Wait... she wasn't supposed to know about your crush on her either.

"Too bad for you, love" she thought, with a devilish smile.

She knew that she shouldn't do this, but she refused to be the only one to suffer in these two weeks!

Without saying anything, she took her towel and walked to the bathroom, "accidentally" forgetting her clothes on the bed. Upps, guess she would have to come out wrapped in the towel ... we'll see

______________

When the bathroom door closed, you let out a sigh that you didn't even know you were holding. You guessed it could be worse.

"If this keeps up, maybe we can survive the entire trip, Y/N" you muttered

When the thing with the rooms had happened, she didn't say anything about sharing with you, then she'd been gone for almost three hours and now she'd just walked into the bathroom, barely speaking to you. If she continued like this, indifferent, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Smiling and feeling relieved, you read again, quickly losing yourself in the pages. You were reading about the Salem trials, wanting to be the best prepared for tomorrow's tour. After all, you were here for a research that would be evaluated in a lengthy essay. You wanted to be ready for it.

However, just a few minutes later (at least that felt like a few minutes to you, although it could have been hours, you could never be sure when you read), you heard the shower turn off and the bathroom door opened.

By now, you weren't that nervous anymore so you allowed yourself to look up and- OH. MY. GOD.

Agatha Harkness was standing in front of you, hair still dripping, barefoot and with only a towel wrapped around her body. You swallowed audibly and hid your face in your book, praying that she didn't notice the effect she was having on you.

Agatha smiled to herself as she sat on the edge of her own bed, at the end closest to you. She crossed her legs in a decidedly slow motion and reached out for her clothes, exposing her collarbone and neck to you.

You looked away when she started dressing. It was one thing to have a crush on her, but it was quite another to be rude and watch her change, no matter how much you wanted.

The older woman frowned a little, but she told herself that there would be time to tempt you more. When she finished changing, she glanced at you out of the corner of her eye, noticing for the first time the way one of your hands gripped the sheet while your legs were pressed firmly.

"A good start" she thought "Let's see how much more you can take, love ..."

She had agreed to make the trip so that you would be happy, and she was adamant about it. She would let you enjoy the guided tours of the town and you could enjoy your day as you wanted.

But the nights, she had just decided, belonged to her. And she wouldn't be the only one burning with desire and lust. She was completely determined to make this trip a lustful hell for you.

- - - - - - - - - 

tags: @midnight-lestrange @everythingmarvelsherlockspn (tag not working) @amethyst-bitch @juliejules-089 @powerfulmagicalgirl (tag not working) @novohyde @annie-mit-ie @shinkomiii @agentbrownierso @swanqueensupercorp @usernames-are-difficult @philippaharkness @rainbow-hedgehog @parkerprolly @amelia02

[helpistolethesecharacters]

Hey. Can I request bucky barnes x male reader where the reader gets injured on a mission and bucky freaks out about it with the “Oh shit, is it that bad? Am I gonna die?” prompt. And can they already be in a relationship. Thank you

This was a good request, thanks.

That said, why is it harder to write something if there is more information???

This one didn't give me an immediate idea to follow through on, but I think it turned out alright.

Let me know if this wasn't quite what you wanted and I will be happy to have another go.

Stealth Mission

Bucky Barnes x Male Reader

Word Count: 1611

-----------------

The mission was supposed to be a stealth one. It was meant to be simple, sneak in, steal some information, sneak back out with no-one any the wiser for it.

Funny how the universe likes to laugh at people who make plans.

You roll your eyes at your thoughts as you gather your breath, and your courage. You were pinned behind a series of crates in what was clearly some sort of storage area. The bullets stop flying in your direction for a second. It sounds like the Hydra guys were reloading.

You leap out and unleash a hail of bullets at the men standing by the door. To your unending relief there are only two, both of whom were reloading. Thank God for sloppy trade craft. It takes a depressingly little amount of time to down them after that.

'Two down, one whole compound to go,' you think sarcastically to yourself.

"Hey, anyone out there still?" You put a shaking hand up to your earpiece. You had never been so thankful to hear Steve's voice before.

You tapped your comm to activate it.

"Yeah, I'm in some sort of storage area inside. No idea how many are left outside. Things aren't looking great from here."

You hear Steve sigh into his own comm.

"Y/N, Thank God. Buck would'a killed me if you'd gone down out here."

"Come on Steve, you know that's between me and Barnes."

You smirk to yourself and picture Steve's face at your comment. You don't normally tease the conservative man but it helped to steady your nerves the moment.

"Alright, I'm gonna head out of here, see if I can still salvage this mission. Let me know if anyone else responds."

Caps affirmative is ringing in your ears as you pull yourself back together. You still had a job to do here, there wasn't anything else for it.

You crept closer to the only exit in the room. Your heart was pounding too loud in your ears. This was annoying but adrenaline was running high after you were surprised earlier.

Luckily the hall was empty. It seemed that the other Hydra agents were a bit preoccupied somewhere else.

'Hopefully that means that someone else is still kicking. My bet's on Nat.'

It doesn't take long to find the right room this time. You internally promise yourself to pay more attention to blueprints next time, as you make your way into the room and over to one of the computers.

You were grateful once again that you had started out your illustrious career as a hacker. A few not so minor indiscretions had landed you in some pretty hot water before you hacked into the wrong server and caught shield's attention. Several years and some serious spy training later, here you were.

Your comm crackled as you tapped away at the keys of the computer. You put your hand back up to your comm and listened as Steve relayed that everyone else had checked back in with him.

You breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone was still alright.

"Roger that, I'm almost done here, I'll meet back out front--"

You cut off with a gasped cry of pain. You hadn't noticed the person slip in through the broken window while listening to Steve talk. You had completely missed them as they moved over on silent feet. In fact, you only noticed them as they slipped a dagger in between two of your ribs.

Distantly you could hear Steve calling out to you through your comm, but you were just a little distracted by the searing pain in your side.

You could tell immediately that whoever this person was, they didn't want to kill you outright. With how silent they were coming in and how preoccupied you had been, they had had the opportunity to slit your throat. They hadn't, which was pretty telling.

If you didn't get out of here soon you would either end up as a hostage to make the others give themselves up, or you would be tortured for information.

Not great odds then.

Using the opposite side's arm you managed to elbow them in the face. Their nose made the most satisfying crunch as it broke.

You spun and took advantage of their surprise to kick them back toward the broken window. Seeing the best chance at getting out of this situation alive, you didn't hesitate to give them a second harder kick to the chest. They went out flailing for anything to hold onto.

There was a yell and a loud thud as they hit the ground some several floors below.

You held your breath as you limped your way over there. You had to be sure that they weren't still a danger.

Yep, there they were, laid out on the ground, limbs at awkward angles that would be bad if it weren't for the large puddle of blood forming under them.

You let out your breath in a rush.

There was a ringing in your ears that was not great, and the world seemed to be spinning. You stumbled back over to the desk and the computer.

You grabbed the piece of tech that you had been loading the information onto and made your way heavily out of the room.

Something made you look up. You were glad that you did, Steve was coming toward you but there was something wrong with him. He was opening and closing his mouth like he was trying to talk, but nothing was coming out.

You squint at him in confusion, but you didn't have to worry about it for long. The darkness descends just as he reaches you and you know nothing more.

----------------

Bucky Barnes was not someone who was known for showing a lot of emotions. Not anymore anyway. He was slowly getting better, but it was just too easy to stay emotionally frozen.

He had been that way for literally years, and it had taken meeting one of the agents at shield to really start to shake him out of it. The Y/H/C haired man had quickly wormed his way into Bucky's frozen heart and refused to leave.

Naturally, having grown up in the 1920's and 30's, Bucky had known he shouldn't want this man the way he did. However, he had lived in Brooklyn, arguably the Gay Capital of the World at the time.

The only way he wouldn't have had at least one experience back then was if he was as oblivious as Steve had been.

In any case it hadn't taken him long to know that he had to ask you out. Getting up the courage had been the difficult thing. You had surprised him by showing up earlier the same day with a box and asked to talk to him alone.

You had put the box on his bed and said that you had wanted to ask him out for a while now, and only just gotten up the courage. The box was a gift which was his whether he wanted to go out with you or not.

Bucky had known that that was the best chance he would ever have, but was curious. He had opened the box to find a big fluffy sweater and fluffy reading socks. He had melted. You were literally the best person in the world - sorry Steve.

Bucky was decidedly not emotionless now however.

You had been brought in from your latest mission unconscious, and had to be rushed to the medical wing Tony kept in his huge tower.

(A/N Yes, we are pretending that they are all friends)

Objectively Bucky was sure that you would be fine, but he couldn't help but worry. You had never looked so small, lying there with soot from who knew what on your face and blood covering a large portion of your shield issued clothing.

Bucky was doing his best not to annoy the medical staff while he waited for you to wake up, but it hadn't worked at all. He had been banished from the area until you were awake to deal with him.

So now he was annoying everyone else.

"Shit Steve, is he going to be okay? Is he going to die? Oh God, what if he dies?"

Poor Bucky was in tears and pacing up and down the communal living space as he waited for news.

Even Sam had the good sense not to provoke Bucky right now.

Apparently Natasha didn't get the memo though.

"Barnes. He's a trained agent. This is a part of the job. Grow a pair and wait for news before writing him off entirely. Besides, Y/N's a fighter, he won't give up like this. He knows you're waiting for him. He won't let you down."

Bucky stared at her, shocked. Nat was notoriously few of words. That was practically a monologue from her.

"Good," she nodded, satisfied that she had gotten through to him. "If you can't calm down and wait for news like a normal person, why don't you go find Clint and stuff him into a vent to find out what's going on in real time."

With that Natasha floated over to the couch and flipped the TV onto her latest binge show.

Steve watched as Bucky stood in shock for a minute longer, before bolting out of the room, most likely in search of their team archer.

"That was mean. He's not even going to be able to explain what he wants properly with how out of it he is right now."

Nat looked over her shoulder at Steve with a smirk.

"Just a little revenge that I owed Clint."

[seasonschange-butpeopledont]

The Best Man

Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, a few curse words

Word Count: 2,560

Author’s Note: A fun part about getting older is that all of my friends are married or engaged now, and sometimes weddings bring up some insecurities. A more than a bit of venting going on here. This is my first time writing for the love of my life Marcus Pike and I’m very nervous/excited. 

Summary: When your best friend asks you to be the maid of honor at her wedding, you’re convinced that you’ll never find your own happy ending- until you meet a certain groomsman. 

Taglist Form - Masterlist

You weren’t proud of the feelings of dread that washed over you as you sat in the parking lot of the wedding venue. You’d been sitting in your car for just a little longer than socially acceptable, given that the rest of the bridal party had likely already gathered inside. You just needed to make it through the next two days, and then you could go back to your apartment, wrap yourself in a blanket, and wallow in your feelings. 

You thought you’d be better at ignoring the green-eyed monster that was currently threatening to ruin what was supposed to be a happy occasion. 

You’d dutifully sat through dress fittings, gave thoughtful opinions on flower arrangements and centerpieces and invitations, and meticulously planned the bridal shower and bachelorette party. It was your job as the maid of honor to make sure that everything went off without a hitch on your best friend’s special day. 

You were happy for her- so happy for her. You’d never seen her like this, and you knew that she and Greg were going to have the perfect lives together. A fairytale wedding, a beautiful home, a loving family with two-point-five kids and a golden retriever in the backyard. A cliche to be sure, but you couldn’t deny the pang of jealousy that Melissa had found her perfect match while you were still decidedly and hopelessly single. You buried those feelings down deep, enduring it all with a smile. 

It would happen for you eventually. 

Probably. 

Well, you could hope, right?

When you finally made your way inside, Melissa had already worked herself into a panic. The best man, Marcus, was nowhere to be found.

Mellissa had told you a little about Greg’s best man. You knew that he worked for the FBI, that he and Greg had been in a band together in his younger days, and that he was flying in from Washington D.C. for the wedding. His flight was supposed to arrive an hour ago, and then he would take a cab from the airport to the venue. 

Clearly, that plan had derailed at some point. 

“Greg, we only have the rehearsal space for another twenty minutes-” Melissa reminded him impatiently. 

“He’ll be here, Mel. I swear, the one time he’s late for anything…” Greg sighed, shaking his head. He pulled his phone from his pocket, presumably dialing the best man’s number again before holding the phone to his ear. The silence seemed to drag on forever as Mellissa glared daggers at her husband-to-be. “Damn it, Marcus, turn your phone on...” 

You tried to deescalate the situation, placing a calming hand on Melissa’s shoulder and quietly reminding her to breathe. With patience wearing thin all around, the last thing you needed was for Bridezilla to make an appearance today. 

“Why don’t we just run through the ceremony without him, and he can follow my lead tomorrow. All he really has to do is stand there and hand you the rings, right? Does that sound okay?” You looked back and forth between the couple hopefully, and they nodded in agreement.

“Good. Happy thoughts, you two. It’s going to be the most magical day of your lives, I promise.” 

You’d woken the next morning with a tension headache from hell, and it had stuck with you all morning. As calm as you’d made yourself out to be earlier, the case of the missing groomsman was still bothering you. 

As you and the other bridesmaids got into your places for the ceremony, you ran through your mental checklist. As long as Greg’s friend was standing up there at the altar when those doors opened, you had everything under control. You’d even managed to wrangle the flower girl, Greg’s rambunctious niece, into a somewhat poised state, promising her an extra piece of cake later if she would just keep it together during the ceremony and pictures.

On the other side of the doors, you heard the music start, and one by one, the bridesmaids shuffled through the doors. When it was finally your turn, you took a deep breath, smoothing your hair to the best of your ability with your bouquet-free hand and hoped for the best as you walked through the doorway. Three thoughts always stuck in your mind during these kinds of things: 

One, you really, really hoped that you wouldn’t trip on the hem of the dress and bust ass in front of all of these people, effectively ruining the ceremony and humiliating yourself in the process. 

Two, Am I taking too long? I’m taking too long. Oh fuck, all of these people are staring at me wondering why I won’t hurry up, aren’t they? This isn’t my wedding, I should just-

Three, you wonder what it might be like if it was. For a split second, your dress is white, your heart is fluttering, and the man of your dreams is waiting for you at the end of the aisle. 

Your eyes go there without really meaning to. Greg is there, of course, sweating bullets. Idly, you wonder if the photographer can fix that in editing. God, you hope so. Poor Melissa. 

Then your gaze moves slightly to the right, and the fluttering in your chest returns. 

Whatever lingering annoyance you had with the best man and his lack of punctuality was out the window now, his warm brown eyes melting your resolve in an instant. He smiled, showing off the dimples in his cheeks and you felt yourself returning it before your brain had time to interfere. Reaching the altar and planting yourself in your designated space, your nervousness has morphed into something you can’t quite identify, but don’t have much time to linger on. The flower girl is already making her way down the aisle, distributing the petals in the way you hand practiced repeatedly last night, much to your relief, and your heart is still racing long after Melissa walks through the doors. 

Time always passes strangely during these types of things. The ceremony begins after you almost miss your cue to take the bouquet from her, and she shoots you a confused look over when it passes into your hands. As the officiant drones on and on about the bigger meaning of what is taking place here today, you find your arms aching as you try to hold both bouquets still. You wonder if you would be sore later from holding your arms this way for so long, and silently hope that everyone remembers not to lock their knees as you all try to remain frozen in place for the better part of an hour. 

Finally, the officiant arrives at the portion of the ceremony you’d all been waiting for, the vows. The words of love and commitment that made your insides all warm and fuzzy. The best part of any wedding, hands down. A guaranteed tear-jerker, and, more importantly, the signal that all of this would soon be over. 

“I, Greg, take you, Melissa, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part.”

Oh, what you would give to have that... The thought brought a lump to your throat, the tears in your eyes somewhere between happy and sad. Longing. That was the word for it. You forced yourself to look away from the scene, giving yourself a moment of reprieve from your own insecurities. 

You didn’t mean to make eye contact with Marcus at that moment, but you found him looking back at you. The space between his eyebrows creased slightly as he noticed the pain in your eyes. 

Receptions always seemed to drag, especially when you were unlucky enough not to check the plus-one box on the invitation. The bridal party had gathered themselves at one long table for dinner, but the cake had been cut well over an hour ago and all that was left was smalltalk and dancing. Or, in your case, people-watching. 

You sighed, your chin resting on your hand as you watched the couple sway to the music. They looked like they were lost in their own little world, their foreheads touching as they spoke in hushed whispers that no one could hear but them. You couldn’t remember the last time that someone had looked at you like that. Actually, you weren’t sure that anyone had ever looked at you like that. 

“They seem happy, huh?” A voice said from beside you. You hadn’t noticed the chair being pulled out or the tall, tuxedo-clad body dropping into it, but you looked over your shoulder to find Marcus beside you. You hadn’t dared to speak a word after the ceremony or during photos, but you had spent a good portion of the evening mesmerized by the soothing sounds of his voice as he gave the speech for his toast. It was low and raspy and warm, like whiskey and honey, and it gave you goosebumps now that it was finally being directed towards you. 

“I would hope so,” You agreed quietly. “They did just get married two hours ago.” 

“Do you want to dance?” He asked, giving you an inviting, hopeful smile and holding his hand out to you. “No pressure, but I wouldn’t really be fulfilling my best man duties if I didn’t ask the maid of honor to dance.” You nodded gratefully, taking his hand and allowing him to help you up and lead you out towards the dance floor.

“Can I ask you something?” He wondered, his voice quiet at the pair of you swayed to the music. Marcus had, it seemed, become your unofficial dance partner for the evening. He danced like a dork during the fast songs, but the slow songs were where he really shined. 

“Go ahead,” You nodded. 

“Earlier you seemed kind of… down. Anything you want to talk about?”

“Was it that obvious?” You cringed. You hoped that Melissa and Greg hadn’t picked up on your moodiness. 

“I’m pretty good at reading people. Comes with the job, you know? Are you not a big fan of weddings?”

“No, I love weddings,” You shook your head. “Sometimes it just feels like… You know that phrase, ‘always the bridesmaid, never the bride’? Well, that’s the unofficial title of my autobiography.” 

A soft snort escaped his nose, and you narrowed your eyes at him playfully. 

“Excuse me, are you laughing at my misfortune?”

He raised his hands in surrender, temporarily pausing your dancing, and you immediately felt the absence of the warmth from your waist and hand. “Not at all. I’m sort of in the same boat, actually.” 

He took your hand once more, raising it above your head and spinning you before the pair of you returned to your swaying.

“The thing is, I’m happy for Melissa, I really am, but she’s never even wanted to get married. Not until she met Greg. But here she is, getting her fairytale wedding, while I couldn’t even find a date for tonight. I’ve always liked the idea of being married. The whole madly in love, growing old together, building a life with someone kind of thing. I know it’s stupid, but I really, really want it, and sometimes it feels like my life is always just going to be… this,” You explained, gesturing arbitrarily small corner of dance floor the two of you had cut out for yourselves. “Standing on the sidelines, watching everyone else find their soulmate and wondering what the hell is wrong with me.” 

“I know the feeling. I once watched Greg give himself a concussion trying to smash a beer can on his head,” Marcus revealed. “Not exactly a catch, but I guess there’s someone out there for everyone.” 

You laughed at that, the tension easing itself out of your shoulders. “A concussion?”

“I drove him to the hospital and everything,” He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling with the sound of your soft giggles. He gave your waist an encouraging squeeze, relieved that the sadness in your eyes had finally disappeared. 

“Alright, so we’ve discussed my deepest, darkest secret. Isn’t it your turn to make an embarrassing confession?” You asked teasingly. You were having more fun than you’d expected to have this evening; Marcus’ presence seemed to eclipse everything around you. 

He hummed thoughtfully, nodding. “Does it have to be embarrassing?”

“Maybe not embarrassing, but it can’t be boring,” You decided, your curiosity piqued. 

“Okay,” He agreed. “I told Greg that I was working a case and that’s why I had to catch a red-eye this morning instead of getting in last night.” 

“Mmm, I’ve gotta say. That is a bit boring,”

“Yeah? Well, it was a lie.”

“Oh? You’ve caught my interest. And what is your excuse for the stress-induced headache your tardiness caused me this morning?”

“I almost decided not to show up at all,” He admitted. “Made it all the way to the airport before I turned around and went home. Turned off my phone, completely unpacked… My fiancé left me for another man about a year ago, and I guess I still have some wedding-related issues of my own to work through. But Greg is one of my best friends, so… here I am.” 

“Oh, I’m…” You fumbled, not quite prepared for the level of honesty that he’d given you in his answer. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know-” 

“No, no,” He shook his head. “It’s okay. I just meant that… I get it. It’s like you said. A life, a home, a family… That’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I thought I did everything right and that clearly wasn’t enough, so I started thinking that maybe there was something wrong with me. But I think the truth is that she just wasn’t the right person.”

“Wow, Marcus… I know there’s an open bar, but I feel like I should buy you a drink after that. That’s horrible…” 

He chuckled, shrugging. “I was pretty relieved when I saw I wasn’t the only one here counting down the hours until I could leave and go home.” 

“So… do you still think the right person is out there, then?” You asked quietly. 

“Oh, definitely,” Marcus said confidently, squeezing the hand that was still clasped in his. His eyes were molten as they looked into yours with an earnestness that set your heart racing.  “Maybe they’re just running a little late.” 

Melissa glanced over her shoulder to look at the maid of honor and best man, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she turned back to her new husband. 

“You don’t have your wallet on you, do you?” She asked, the I-told-you-so obvious in her tone. 

“You don’t win the bet unless he asks her out,” Greg reminded her. 

“Greg, get real. You see the way they’re looking at each other. I want my twenty bucks, babe.” 

Greg glanced over at his friend, instantly recognizing Marcus’ lovestruck expression. He had to hand it to Melissa, she’s one of a hell of a matchmaker. 

“Double or nothing,” He countered. “I’m guessing…. A wedding within the next… Two years?” 

Melissa scoffed. “Bring it on. I’ll rig the bouquet toss and we’ll have that invitation taped to the fridge within the year.”

General Taglist: 

@theravenreads @marshmallowtraver @computeringturtle @adikaofmandalore @pascalisthepunkest @supernaturalcat7 @maythxthirstbxwithyou

Pedro Character Taglist: 

@coldlilheart​

[canvas-the-florist]

I Am Not a Poet

Ship(s): Past ambiguous Anxceit, romantic Intrumoceit (Remus, Patton, and Janus),

Warnings: food, swearing, jokes about sex, vague body horror

Summary: Janus was not a poet. Sure he liked expressing himself with words and phrases, but that was not what made a poet. He wasn’t sure what he was at all. This was based on a poem I made while bored in my French class, enjoy y’all! AO3 Link Here

Word Count: 5.2K

-

‘Whatever I want is the will and want of the gods; with no one to stop me I will say all the stupid things imaginable. What sins will be committed? What crimes against nature have already occurred? Who will be the savior left to rot by my hands and pen? No one can say, except me. And that is a dangerous thing. This sounds like a beginning but that is solely dependent on time, so for now nothing is certain.

The gods have stopped existing for years, and I have been on my own. Writing dumb things with those stupid quick hands of mine. What else is there to do when the world is doomed? If I stop too much reality will seep into my pores and inhibit my every movement. That is unacceptable for the one person supposed to be in charge, isn’t it? No breaks, no stopping, no rest. Nothing will end as long as I am here. But for how much longer will I lie about my experiences to raise hopes? I don’t know, I’m just trying to escape my boredom by making a false world all about myself. I will become the main character of a story. I do wish it won’t be a tragedy.’

Janus had decided he was not much of a poet. He liked poetry, of course, but he never really did anything with it. Sure, he had an urge to write out his feelings whenever they became too much, but isn’t that what everyone did? There has to have been a narrator torturing a character just to not feel alone at least once, right? But even with this all in mind, Janus was definitely not a poet. None of his words rhymed, metaphors were decidedly not his forte, and he only felt angry and tired. This didn’t stop him from pretending to experience positive emotions. Or to vent about it quietly in a worn notebook. He closed the book and hid it underneath some of his Decartes books, and sat up to stretch.

He knew that even though no other sides bothered to come into his room, he felt the need to hide everything that revealed a personality. Janus wasn’t comfortable with the idea that people could know who he is and how he became that way. The idea of people watching or studying him, for any reason whatsoever, was terrifying. And no one was allowed to know. Janus readjusted his capelet and hat before walking out his door and disappearing.

‘For any simple reason, I must hide who I am. It doesn’t matter how small or silly it may seem, but mysteriousness calls my name. Guess my natural hair color, guess my age, guess my favorite food. Nothing will be given for free. Fight to know me or suffer along with me and my hesitance.’

The living room was full of sides all quietly sitting in different areas, looking different degrees of uncomfortable. Virgil raised his eyebrow at Janus as he walked it. Janus decided to ignore the knots in his stomach as everyone else stared at him. Of course, Roman immediately went  to sink out, without making direct eye contact.

“Oh, it’s Patton’s best friend,” Virgil remarked to a Logan who wasn’t paying attention. That’s when Patton walked in. He was gripping his mug tightly, almost as tight as his forced smile. Janus noticed him shaking but trying to stay calm. Virgil looked over to Patton. “And the liar’s friend too, how nice.”

“Kiddo, you’re still my best pal!” Patton’s voice was waning slightly. Janus went to grab the mug, half wondering if Patton was strong enough to crack it. When Virgil scoffed to hide his own tears, Patton’s grip softened, allowing Janus to grab it. He didn’t really want to get involved with all the problems that were going on, nothing he did would specifically help anyway, but it would feel worse if he did nothing. “Virgil, I care about you a lot! I, I love you. What am I doing wrong?”

Janus, at this point, was walking away, but decided to stop. He had asked himself that question too many times in regards to Virgil. It was frustrating to care about someone when they wouldn’t talk to you without yelling in your face.

“That’s your job isn’t it? To know what’s wrong?” Virgil scoffed. Janus clenched his fist and decided to go back to his room. “Though I don’t know how good you are at it.”

Later Janus found himself knocking on Patton’s door with a small plate of dinner. He had no idea if Patton ate with the others or not, but walked in anyways. Patton was crying silently into a pillow. When he noticed Janus, he quickly wiped his tears and gave a smile. Janus decided to close the door, place down the food, and open up his arms. Patton collapsed into the hug, sobbing into his shirt. Janus wasn’t used to people being vulnerable around him. Everyone was so on guard whenever he showed up, because of the innate lack of trust. What had he done to get Patton to be like this?

“Patton, you are going to be alright,” Janus soothed, not quite knowing if he was lying or not. He ran his hands through Patton’s hair softly. His emotions didn’t matter in this, and he knew that. Right now, Patton was being comforted and that’s what was important. “Everything will be fine. I won’t leave you. I’ll be here for as long as you need me to be.”

And he, true to his word for once, stayed until Patton fell limp in his arms from exhaustion. Janus quietly tucked him in and walked out. That was enough vulnerability for a while. Virgil was outside the door, holding cookies on a plate. Janus looked at him and blinked away any facial expression that could occur. Virgil tried to shove past him and into Patton’s room but Janus blocked with pseudo-nonchalantly.

“Believe it or not, Anxiety,” Virgil glared at him. “Patton has decided to rest from an emotionally taxing day. I suggest you wait until tomorrow.”

“What do you know, Deceit?” He asked, looking directly at him. Janus resisted the urge to look away. He hadn’t really liked eye contact that much and opted only to use it when necessary. “You’re kind of new to being friends with people without manipulating them.”

Janus was not a poet, but he had some choice words he wanted to use. Patton was sleeping, now was not the time for yelling. So, he took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts in a way that Virgil could understand. “You are not the person who decides who I am. That’s me. And I am friends with Patton, and today you hurt him a lot. So I would appreciate it, if you took your self-righteous bullshit and realized that just because you’re a light side, doesn’t mean you don’t need change. Patton is working so hard on himself, and not judging others too harshly and you’re so quick to shoot down anything he does. Just let him sleep before forcing him to deal with yet another guilt trip from an emo raccoon. Okay?”

He decided not to wait for a response, not sure if he was going to get one regardless.

Janus just hoped that Patton was sleeping better than he was going to be.

‘Every single thing I experience feels like the end of the world. By the time I was thirteen I was convinced that I wouldn’t live past my own birthday. Who would’ve thought I was growing to be an edgy adult with a yellow and black color scheme? I stand up for myself and think it’s a death sentence and have the same reaction when I do nothing. The world is ending and I didn’t save it.

The plane is crashing, and I’m looking down at the sand like everything is okay.’

Janus was around Patton a lot. Because of this, he noticed that no one else seemed to communicate with him, aside from Remus. He certainly wasn’t expecting Patton and Remus to get along, but it was a nice surprise. Janus didn’t expect to have a growing friend group so quickly. If quickly meant over the course of several years. Still, surprising nonetheless.

They were all in Patton’s room, watching an animal documentary together. Remus was on the floor, enjoying whenever an animal got killed somehow or learning a gross fact eating a mixture of rocks that vaguely looked like corn kernels. Patton was on his bed, hugging a stuffed animal tightly, smiling whenever cute moments showed up and hid during everything else. Janus was kind of just there because… well he wasn’t entirely sure, but he did enjoy popcorn from time to time. Perhaps more often if it meant hugs and cuddles from his friends. Remus had grabbed his leg at one point, and Patton was basically suffocating his arm. But he refused to change anything about it.

He didn’t know where Virgil was and was too tired to pretend he didn’t care. Janus was originally planning to keep it to himself when his most annoying and lovable companion spoke.

“Yo, Snake-Ass!” Remus yelled, Patton looked up from under his blankets in confusion. His glasses were slightly askew and Janus would’ve melted if he weren’t so consumed by worry. “You haven’t made a single response to all of my wonderful commentary about this delightful kid’s film in the past forever! What is up your butt?”

Patton was about to chide, but decided to stop himself. Janus almost felt proud of his growth. “I, I would like to know that too, Janus. Are you okay?”

A sunfish was the center of the screen being eclipsed by two faces peering at Janus. “Oh, I’m totally fine, don't worry about it.” The two gave him looks that clearly told him his doublespeak wasn’t working out. Janus groaned. The two morons have gotten way too close to him and he despised it. Clearly. “Virgil hasn’t been… present in a while. I would totally be concerned about him but I… I don’t know what he wants from me.”

“From you?” Patton repeated, fixing his glasses.

“Oh, definitely hate sex.” Remus blurted with a short nod. When there wasn’t an immediate response he shrugged. “Or he’s jealous that you decided to finally move on from whatever happened between you two and he hasn’t yet.”

That was certainly a way to look at it. But Janus didn’t know if he had moved on yet. Sure, he had grown past it. But moved on? How can he say he was fine with what transpired when sometimes he would wake up in angry, bitter tears? When Janus still wanted to wrap his arms around Virgil just to be nearby? Janus was hurt. Not as much as he used to be, but he still missed his friend. He missed Virgil.

“You think he’s jealous? Why?”

Patton leaned on Janus’s shoulder. “I think that he’s afraid. Not of you, but that we won’t like him anymore. That doesn’t make up for what he said to you, or… or to me. But we shouldn’t discount that he’s jealous that we’re friends because he doesn’t want to lose anyone. Or, or maybe I’m projecting. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, daddy.” Patton immediately sat up, red in the face. Remus didn’t seem to notice. “This is something that Virgil has to deal with. It is not your responsibility.”

The three stayed silent. The documentary was reaching its end but none of them cared. Patton slowly put his blanket over them all, placing himself in the middle. Remus put his arm around Patton’s shoulders, and Janus discreetly pretended not to place his hand on his thigh. He eventually cleared his throat. “Do you think the others will still want to be my family? Even though I’m with you guys now? I know it was the right choice, being with you both. But what if Roman, Logan, and Virgil don’t talk to me unless I give up you two? I don’t want to lose my family. Either part of it.”

“I don’t know, Patton.” Janus responded. “I can’t promise that you won’t have to decide, but I won’t force you to.”

Remus squeezed Patton’s shoulder, in a quiet show of support. Patton gave a weak smile. When the documentary finished, the three of them were cuddling on Patton’s bed, appearing asleep. Though it was hard to tell with figments of someone’s imagination. The credits rolled with an orchestral song playing softly with them. Janus leaned into Remus while holding Patton’s hand limply. The blanket was almost completely stolen by Patton somehow but if the other’s minded, they were too asleep to notice. Janus woke up, seeing that at some point the TV turned off and the world was dark. He blinked to get used to the static from the lack of light, and decided to sit up.

His head was aching slightly but Janus elected to ignore it. Janus looked at Remus and Patton, who were still sleeping. He wasn’t exactly sure when Remus stripped off almost all of his clothes, but he didn’t really care, just pulling the blanket over him so he wouldn’t get too cold. With that, Janus walked out of the room as quietly as he could. He knew that technically he could stay but he wasn’t in the right headspace for feelings for his friends at the current moment. The door closed before Janus could see Patton open his eyes.

‘The world loves to change its tempo whenever I manage to get a hold of it. God forbid I have enough time to apologize. But now I must wallow in pleasant situations worrying about everything I cannot pause to think about.

Time is awfully inconvenient and yet I try to fight it for more. When will it be enough? When can I finally feel peace? When can I rest? I never know what to do when time lingers, but I know that I will make mistakes. I have made mistakes.

Is writing this one of them?’

Virgil was sitting on the stairs when Janus passed by. He stood up quickly and grabbed his circle before sinking down. Janus yelped as he found himself in Virgil’s room, but composed himself. While looking around, Virgil sighed and put his hands in his jacket. Janus straightened his back, looking directly at him.

“So, I’ve been thinking about what you uh, what you said.” Virgil started. Janus denied himself the thought of heckling him. “And, as much as I hate to say it, you’re right. I don’t have to like you, and to be clear, I don’t like you.” There was a pause, Janus looked down. “But, that doesn’t give me the right to be… rude. Me not trusting someone shouldn’t be equivalent to acting like a piece of shit. Now that that’s out of the way… What’s next?”

“What’s next?” Janus repeated. “What’s next is you don’t expect me to accept this immediately. It will take time.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, Patton apologized and you immediately started to date him so I thought this would turn out relatively okay.”

“What?” Janus asked. “Patton and I- we aren’t- I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“And I thought you were a genuine threat.” Virgil huffed, taking his hands out his jacket and carding them through his hair. “Listen, I don’t like you. Don’t hurt Patton and we’ll be on equal footing. Now get out of my room.”

Ignoring the fact that Janus was forcibly pulled into the room, he had something else to say as he walked out. “Have you talked to Patton yet?” Virgil didn’t immediately respond, looking down so Janus decided to assume the answer. “You should. Not that you wouldn’t already know, but Patton misses his ‘best bud’ or something similarly cheesy.”

With that he left. Janus, at another movie night with Remus and Patton didn’t feel like mentioning it. Maybe Virgil’s apology could stay between them for a bit. He didn’t want to ruin his chance at having him as a friend again, despite never willing to admit that he missed Virgil. This time the group had decided to watch Centaurworld, a show for all of them. Cute fun songs, hidden dark lore and intrigue, and the stable fart jokes. Perfect.

Janus leaned on Remus’s chest, his eyelids heavy. Patton put his arm around him, kissing his cheek. He felt himself blush but was too tired to move. Remus ruffled his hair. Janus wondered if Virgil would ever talk to him again, as a friend. Or was everything too late? He thought back to what Virgil said about him dating Patton… It was safe to say that Janus had certainly thought about it before, he was going to think about the cheek kiss for weeks to come. All the tiredness in his brain was lifted as he became aware of how close he was to these two sides. Was that okay? Everything was so fucked up, was this the best time?

“Fuck,” He heard Remus whisper.

“I, uh,” Patton stuttered for a bit. “What’s wrong, Remus?”

Remus hummed, making Janus vibrate slightly uncomfortably. “I think I’m in love with you and Janus.”

He couldn’t imagine the facial expression that either of them were making, Janus was focusing too hard on keeping his own in check. “Thanks for telling me! I… I think I love you two too! Oh, tutu… Sorry, I just, are you going to tell him?”

“I could,” Remus started playing with Janus’s hair, and he subconsciously leaned into it. Janus started legitimately falling asleep. “But he’s dealing with a lot. Being accepted by Thomas and all that’s happening is probably a lot to deal with. Especially for an integral side. Also, I want to know what my favorite daddy has to say about it first!”

Patton coughed from embarrassment. “Well first of all mister, you should probably stop with the names. And second, you are an important side, Remus. I may have been hesitant about you at first, but that wasn’t right of me. You are integral to Thomas.”

“Thanks,” It was so quietly said, Janus wasn’t sure if it was Remus. “Are you going to give me a chance to sweep your DILF self off your feet?”

“Oh, honey, I’m already head over heels!”

While the two laughed, Janus went fully limp and lost consciousness. Hearing that two people he cared deeply about admit their feelings and flirt obnoxiously was entertaining but he was too damn exhausted to care. Janus only hoped they’d remember to tell him about it when he finally woke up.

‘Why must I feel guilty to enjoy things? To take up space? I spend every waking second justifying every single thing about myself. I make up reasons for my existence and why people would hate me for it. But I’m scared. I’m scared to let myself be happy, to let myself breathe or take even a small break.

This isn’t how it should be, but it is. And I don’t know how to change it. Or if I should.’

Everything was going good for Janus, great even! But why did he not feel that? Why wasn’t this enough? Virgil apologized to him, and was also working on himself, which was great, but he missed Virgil. Patton and Remus confirmed that they had crushes on him, but he had yet to get told directly. Logan was acting more passive aggressive, like he was compensating for something. Janus wasn’t exactly sure what it was about, and didn’t feel like pushing it. And Roman… He had to admit that the fallout between him and Roman was almost entirely his fault. Janus just wasn’t sure how to fix that, if he even could. So he mostly just left Roman and Logan alone. In turn, he spent most of his time around Patton and Remus.

“You seem to be mentally distracted many times a day, Janus.. Is there any particular reason for that?” Logan asked. Janus blinked at him in confusion for a few seconds.

“Just have a lot of things on my mind, figuratively.” As he said this, Janus took off his hat to make the statement literal instead. Logan scrunched up his nose and narrowed his eyes. He didn’t seem to be in the mood for jokes today, so Janus put his hat back on. “I don’t understand why you would care about my state of mind, anyway. Don’t you have sides you care about… more?”

“We may… clash, but that doesn’t mean I am not concerned about the overall well being of Thomas, himself. And you are a part of Thomas, logically I’d be concerned about you as well.” Janus raised an eyebrow as Logan seemed very on edge. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t imitate me for a joke, it… I am not fond of that version of myself.”

With that, Logan decided to promptly leave. Janus sat, confused about what had just happened. What exactly was he supposed to gain from that conversation anyways? Janus knew that Logan was not doing well, but he was starting to believe that he was under exaggerating what had been happening with him. Too focused on, well, many other things that might not be as top priority.

Janus was not the person that Logan wanted to see, but Janus still wanted to be there. He knew how he wanted to help Logan, but he would need assistance from… someone else. Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be easy for any parties involved.

‘When the time comes to ask for help, the immediate response is to fight against it. Trying to swim back to shore when you yourself were the one who swam too far, and refusing to scream for a lifeguard. Even though it is someone’s job to help, I am so sure of myself that I can do everything alone, as I have for so many years.

But now? When people would actually listen to my pleas? It is so hard to unlearn something that was taught to me for my own survival. But I do not need to survive off the bare minimum anymore. I am allowed to sit on the shore, watching the waves instead.’

“What do you want?”

“I just want you to help me make coffee.” Janus reiterated once more. Roman was glowering at him, but Janus stood tall. “Along with a paper face mask. One of those that has healthy ingredients and moisturizes your skin or whatever. They aren’t for me, Roman, and I can’t do that myself. Only you can summon things outside of the mind palace.”

“Not the good twin?” Roman spat out. Janus winced, he knew that Remus could also summon as well, but admitting that he wanted all the other sides to like him would be… embarrassing. Not to mention all the fighting going around with everyone in general. “What schemes are you even going to do with these things? Why do you think I would want to help you?”

He didn’t know how to respond, but Roman was right in a way. Right to be suspicious of someone who treated him badly, and pretended like it never happened. Janus would have to accept that he couldn’t win back the trust he broke. “I’m not going to say that you have to trust me, I just want to make the situation… improved.”

“... you make us better…” Roman muttered to himself, seeming to echo something. Janus thought back to any previous interaction they’ve had but couldn’t recall where the phrase was from. Roman took a breath which ended in exhaling with a shudder. He felt like he should step closer, give words of comfort, but he knew not to. Janus turned around, knowing that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted but he felt something lightly hit his back. When he looked on the ground, it was a back of ground coffee beans and a box. Janus looked at the prince. “Cream masks are more effective. I don’t forgive you for what you’ve done, but you’re not a villain.”

“You’re not either.” Janus replied.

Roman sniffed and wiped his face. “Sure.”

Later, Janus gave the gifts to Logan with a short apology and awkwardly left to collapse on his bed. He told Remus and Patton about the exchange a few hours later, who seemed proud of him. It had been a while since he had felt truly proud of his own actions and it was nice to have support. While lying in between the sleeping Patton and Remus, Janus idly wondered how Thomas was feeling.

‘At one point in life, I got too tired of the world. I wanted to give up, but I spent the last of my energy on being kind. Some people live their entire lives without knowing just how hard it is to be nice. It truly sucks being a good person and trying to be good to yourself as well. Terrible.

But at the same time, I appreciate the things others do just a bit more, and that makes me want to try too if they can. Maybe kindness deserves my energy.’

The world took a long time waking Janus up. He was still surrounded by the warmth of two other sides. Nothing was perfect but he could pretend that it was while curling into Patton’s chest with Remus’s arm draped over him in a way that should not be possible if he has bones in his body. Still, nothing could remain. Remus stirred and reset his arm to look functioning once more with a terribly loud snap that woke up Patton. Janus let himself fall off of Patton and rested his back on the bed while looking up at the ceiling. He felt the peace of an early morning for a few seconds before Remus interrupted it loudly.

“Janus do you want to have sex with us?”

“What.” Janus sat up too fast and loud at Remus with exasperation.

Patton looked very embarrassed. “He didn’t mean it… exactly like that. But, I, we… have found out recently that we both really like you, romantically-”

“Or sexually!” Remus added.

His eyes darted between the two, officially woken up and just KNOWING that his hair looked like shit. “You two will discover the death of me one day.” Patton looked concerned while Remus looked excited about the prospect. “To clarify that, I would just absolutely despise dating the two of you.”

Janus opened his arms for a hug and got toppled into the dog pile he was anticipating. Who knew that he would’ve felt so comfortable around two of the most eccentric sides Thomas has to offer? And, just as he thought that, he was forcibly summoned and barely had enough time to grab his hat.

“Woah, this too early?” Thomas asked. He looked tired, which wasn’t ever surprising. Janus snapped on the rest of his outfit and gave a look trying to convey that Thomas should just get on with it already. “Oh, well… I just have a feeling or two that you’re causing something in my brain.”

“Janus can only cause things in your brain, as he is a part of you Thomas.” Logan clarified. Janus jolted back in surprise, not noticing he was there before turning to see that Roman and Virgil were there as well. “You should really be clearer with the information you’re trying to get across.”

“Which is that your slimy snake boy is changing a lot of shit up.” Virgil summed up. Janus didn’t necessarily disagree, a lot of this seemed out of character for him, but he didn’t love being villainized even more. “I mean, you saw that he was wearing colorful socks with a cartoon turtle pattern on them, right?”

Roman nodded, pointing at Virgil slightly. “I did notice that! I didn’t know if anyone else had caught that.”

“Let’s focus up!” Thomas said. “What have you been up to, dude? My mental health is actually improving and that’s weird.”

“Yes and we all know that I’m solely in charge of that.” Janus deadpanned. “I definitely didn’t focus on your growth as a person because of mistakes that might have been made and that changes how I react to things. That would be strange, wouldn’t it?”

With no one knowing how to respond, Janus wanted to fill the silence. “I don’t care if none of you in this room forgives me, because I was just doing my job, but I can’t deny that there were better ways to go about things that I didn’t originally know about. I am self preservation and recently part of preserving the self gives to caring about other people, because Thomas is trying his best to be a good person despite my best efforts. Am I good to go now that I’ve given my MOST heartfelt speech?”

“You can do what you want, buddy.” Thomas replied, he seemed to be thinking a lot of things through. Janus made eye contact with Logan who nodded at him, then to Roman who gave a small weak smile. Before sinking out, he looked at Virgil. Virgil’s eyes looked vacant for a second before looking back at him. Janus didn’t know how to feel, he wasn’t a poet and didn’t know how to put any of his emotions into words.

But he sank out and felt the need to cry, out of relief perhaps, and was comforted by a hug from his new significant others. Janus didn’t know what he was doing, he never really did. Patton rubbed circles into his back while Remus held Janus’s head softly to his chest. He was trying really hard to be better, and it was so hard. Everything felt difficult when trying something new. He knew he had to try though, because this was worth it. Janus cried for what felt like hours, and when he was cleaning his face with water, he looked at his reflection and gave himself the smallest, honest smile.

‘The winds are quiet and I am watching the seashore. Others are collecting shells, or swimming, or surfing, but I am content where I am. The world is finally quiet and I am learning to understand that I have an important place in it.

Everything is cruel, and horrible, and dangerous. But it is also hopeful, nice, and working to be better. And here I am, in what feels like the middle of it all overwhelmed. Everything feels like too much, so I cannot possibly imagine it all, and I hope I never will. I am tired and cruel and kind, and I’m not going to stop trying to improve. I’m worth the effort.’

Taglist: @emsiemaefander @jackscareington @aromantic-trash-panda @aricana8 @idont-freaking-know @lickoutyourbrains @littlestr @izzy-dunoire @caprine-hyacinth @beetles-and-art @plume-pigmented-pili @gaytrash330 @soap-allergy @bard-in-blue @ciarrac @you-gay-bitch @obsxdiannn @robinhooddee33 @some-fander @intruality-overlord @tuesday-jorts @subtlereferencetomyinterests @dancinglifeboat @theres-a-snake-in-my-croc @froglegss @yiqiangmina if you want to be tagged in any future fanfics or not be tagged please interact or communicate that somehow, thank you <3

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑀𝑎𝑓𝑖𝑎! 𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝐵𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑠 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝐻𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑊𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝐼𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

°• ✾ •°𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰°• ✾ •°

You were currently locked inside a secret room in your mansion. Hongjoong specifically had it made for situations like this. Even though the possibilities of someone finding you were slim to none, you were still frightened. You just wanted Hongjoong to get there as fast as he could and comfort you.

As if on cue, the door opened and Hongjoong appeared. You immediately got up and held onto him as if your life depended on it, the tears you've been holding in now finally pouring out.

"Shhh calm down honey, it's ok. I'm here now, don't cry." Hongjoong ran his fingers through your hair in an effort to comfort you, get you to calm down.

"I was so scared. I kept thinking they'd find me and maybe harm me or our.."

You couldn't finish the last part, but Hongjoong knew what you meant when you placed a hand protectively around your baby bump. He smiled at you softly and put one of his hands on top of yours.

"I promised that I'd take care of you both and I'm not breaking that promise. Don't be scared anymore, I won't let anyone hurt either one of you."

°• ✾ •°𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪°• ✾ •°

Seonghwa was currently trying to discuss a possible merge with another gang. Things seemed to be going pretty well, both sides satisfied with what the other had to offer. They were finishing up details on the contract when one of Seonghwa's men burst in, interrupting the meeting.

"Sir! Your wife just called! Some enemy broke into your house!" The man exclaimed, trying hard to catch his breath.

Seonghwa completely forgot about the meeting. Not wanting to waste another second, he ordered his car to be ready as he ran out of the room, some protests and groaning heard from the other people in the room.

But Seonghwa didn't care. You and the child you were carrying were his top priority. That's how he went well above the speed limit so he could reach the house in time to save you. Once making sure you were both all right, he started packing a few things.

"I'm taking you to stay somewhere else. I'm not risking anything again."

°• ✾ •°𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸°• ✾ •°

At first, Yunho wasn't going to take the call, but when they told him it was you, he immediately took it, knowing you wouldn't interrupt a meeting if it wasn't an emergency.

"Baby? What's wrong? Is everything ok? Oh my god! Please don't tell me the baby is already on the way!" He kept rambling on.

"No, not that. However ..... we have a little problem..." You stated.

"What kind of problem?" Yunho asked.

"Well, I heard glass shattering in the living room, so I went to look-"

"You went to look?! What if it was someone breaking in?!" Yunho scolded you.

"Well you hit the nail on the head, it was someone breaking in." You sighed.

"What?! I'm on my way! Stay calm! I'll bring back up just in case." Yunho was already grabbing his car keys.

"Can you also bring one of the medical staff?" You asked kinda sheepishly.

"Why?! Are you hurt?! Is our baby hurt?!" Yunho felt like he was getting a heart attack.

"No....but the guy who broke in is. You see, I was in the kitchen, so before I went to check, I was holding a frying pan.... and I may or may not have hit him really hard on the head with it and....well he ain't moving." You confessed rather awkwardly.

Yunho stood silent on the other line, trying to process all of this. He didn't know whether to laugh or get mad or just continue freaking out.

"Well I guess it's good to know you can still defend yourself. I'm on my way."

He shook his head as he hung up.

"That girl is gonna be the death of me."

°• ✾ •°𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰°• ✾ •°

Yeosang kept fidgeting his finger on the armrest of his chair. He couldn't concentrate anymore on what was being said at the meeting. His mind was thinking about you, worrying about you and your baby's safety. He knew he could trust the men he sent to go help you out, but he was still worried about you. Perhaps he should have gone himself, he kept thinking that.

One of his men quietly came up to him and whispered.

"Your wife is safe. We found the intruder and we have locked him up. You have nothing else to worry about."

Yeosang released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He thanked the man before excusing himself from the meeting. He neglected you for too long. Upon seeing you, he ran to you and hugged you tightly.

"Thank God you're both all right!"

You could tell he was becoming emotional so you smiled to ease his worry.

"Yes, we're fine. Nothing happened." You assured him.

He took your hands in his and looked down.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there myself..."

You leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"I trust you Yeosang, you know that. I know that even if it's not you personally, you'll still protect us no matter what. That's why I'm never scared." You confessed.

Yeosang felt immensely happy when you said that. He kissed your forehead and held your growing belly.

"Thank you for never doubting me or my love for you both."

°• ✾ •°𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷°• ✾ •°

San burst into the house, not caring that he literally busted his own front door down. He signaled for his men to quietly search around, not wanting you to be more frightened than what you probably already were. He searched in your bedroom.

"Y/N?" He called out to you.

Slowly, you peeked out from underneath the bed.

"San?" You asked.

"Y/N! What the-"

He walked over and pulled you out.

"Out of all the places, you choose to hide underneath the bed? You could hurt yourself or our baby!" He began fussing around as he gently rubbed your barely visible bump.

"Oh relax. I'm not that far along yet, and leave me alone! I panicked and that's the nearest place I could think of." You pouted and crossed your arms.

San chuckled at how cute you were and cupped your cheeks.

"You're so adorable." He pecked your lips.

One of his men interrupted you two.

"Sir, perimeter is clear, no sign of any intruder anymore."

San's smile disappeared and was replaced by a scowl.

"Fine. Search for any clues that could give out their identity. Report back to me when you find something." He ordered.

"Right away sir."

San turned back to you, who was standing with a smirk.

"What?" He asked.

"Your duality seriously is no joke." You teased him.

San giggled and pulled you into a hug, kissing your cheek repeatedly.

"I'm just really soft for you and our little jelly bean."

°• ✾ •°𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲°• ✾ •°

"Mingi! I think someone broke into the house!"

Your voice echoed through the entire room, as Mingi had put you on speaker.

"What?! What do you mean?!" He asked.

"There's a mess all over the living room and kitchen! The couch is ripped up and several furniture is turnt over!" You were shouting now.

"Oh my god! I just heard some shuffling..." Your voice suddenly went quiet.

"Baby....just stay down and we'll be there." Him and the other members were already getting their guns ready.

"I see something moving in the corner! It's still here! It's it's-"

"Just lock yourself in the safe room!" Mingi interrupted.

"It's a dog?" You suddenly said.

"What?" They all asked in unison.

"Yeah. It's a dog." You repeated.

"What kind of dog?! Does it have a collar?!" Yunho asked happily.

"I think it's a golden retriever, let me get closer."

"No! Don't get close to it! It could have rabies!" Mingi warned you.

Suddenly the sound of something falling was heard.

"Y/N! What happened?! Do I need to call animal control and put the dog down?!" Mingi asked frantically.

"No! Don't put it down!" Wooyoung begged.

Your giggles were heard, making everyone confused.

"It's licking my face! And he's so cute! Can we keep him?!" You squealed.

"If you say yes, can we help name it?!" San asked.

Mingi pinched the bridge of his forehead, trying to calm down.

"Well this was certainly a very entertaining meeting." Seonghwa laughed.

°• ✾ •°𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰°• ✾ •°

"So uh... don't freak out Wooyoung..." You started off.

"Oh no. Every time you tell me not to freak out, it's cause it's something worth freaking out about. So what is it?" He asked.

You sighed. "Ok. So while I was sleeping, someone broke into the house."

"What?! How?! Do you know who it was?!" He began asking, already gathering some people to go with him.

"No, I was sleeping." You calmly said.

"How could you have been sleeping?!" He exclaimed.

"Hey! Being pregnant makes me tired and when I'm asleep, I'm practically dead!" You defended yourself.

"Ok fine! But are you sure you didn't hear anything?" He asked.

You face palmed on the other end.

"Wooyoung... I told you! I was asleep! I didn't see or hear anything! I only know that someone broke in because the front door knob is broken." You responded.

"Ok that's it. I'm installing better security and hiring someone to watch you while you're sleeping since clearly, anyone can just come in then hurt you and you won't even notice till you're dead." He said, his voice raising 2 octaves.

"No! I won't be able to sleep if I know someone is watching me." You cringed.

"Fine. I'll watch over you and our baby then." He said decidedly.

"That's even worse!" You shouted.

"It's called making sure you're alive! Goddamit woman, stop being so difficult." He screamed back.

°• ✾ •°𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸°• ✾ •°

Jongho looked back and forth at you and the man currently tied up to a chair in front of you both.

"Run that by me again?" He asked, unable to believe your story.

"It's simple. I heard someone looking through some documents in the office, so I went to go check-"

"That was already a pretty stupid decision." Jongho cut you off.

You glared at him.

"I took a weapon with me!" You exclaimed.

"Yeah! The expensive vase that my mom gave to us on our anniversary!" Jongho gestured to the broken pieces of porcelain scattered around the floor.

"Well it was the closest thing I had in hand! Besides it worked! Knocked him out long enough for me to tie him up and wait for you to get here." You were actually proud of yourself for being able to handle the situation like you did. Jongho always said you were tiny and couldn't protect yourself, that's why you needed him.

Jongho sighed and looked back at the guy next to them.

"I mean.....I'd asked you to confirm her story, but I think you tied up basically sums it up."

The guy only nodded.

"Are you going to torture me now?" The man asked.

"Listen my man, you got knocked out by a tiny and pregnant woman, you a grown man. I think you've suffered enough humiliation for one day." Jongho snorted, but he was also proud of you for protecting yourself and your child.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[onlyganymede]

Wedding Band

Wow! First time doing an LBSC sprint challenge... 

I picked the prompt “Tan lines”, and I literally just finished editing and sprinting (I did all three rounds in one go) right now. 

Also on ao3. @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers

Marinette brushed her fringe out of the way. She was sweating, trying to pry open boxes and lift things and just be helpful. Mylène and Ivan had just moved into a new house, and while several people had agreed to help them move in, it turns out that most of them had meant that they were willing to throw a housewarming party. As for the actual moving in part—Marinette appeared to be the only one, outside of Mylène’s stoic cousin and two of Ivan’s coworkers from his fancy new job. She didn’t envy his city planning, or civil engineering, or whatever it was that he was doing. But she supposed a friendly work environment was something she was a little jealous of.

She worked to heave another large box inside from Mylène’s car (it had a lot of trunk space), and satisfied herself that she hadn’t been left with all of the easy stuff. She may be small, but she could pack quite a punch. She could lift stuff. Size was no indicator of Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s strength.

“Marinette! I’d like that over in here!” Ivan called from the next room over.

“Sure thing,” she said, walking carefully until she saw him and he relieved her arms of the box’s burden.

He set down the box and sighed, looking about. Ivan looked happy. She was glad. Moving out of the Paris city proper was nothing to scoff at. A quieter life had always seemed to suit the pair.

“How about some water? Or other refreshment? I’ve got beer, popsicles…” Ivan led her to the kitchen, where indeed the fridge was sparsely stocked with only  beverage and frozen treats.

“I’ll have a popsicle.”

Ivan handed her one, red, sure to be strawberry or cherry or something that wouldn’t be fruity so much as color, and she unwrapped it. He ducked out to go offer to everyone else, since they were working out how to get the washer and dryer through the doorway, and he thought they deserved a break too.

Marinette had just achieved a brain freeze when both Mylène and Ivan squealed in delight.

“Jules! Luka! So good of you to come!” Marinette heard Mylène say.

“Oomph!” That was Luka, probably receiving a bone-crushing hug from the hostess.

Juleka ducked into the kitchen with Ivan and Mylène’s stoic cousin, her eyebrows briefly flickering up in surprise to see Marinette there, sucking languidly on a popsicle.

“Hi Marinette. Long time no see,” she greeted.

Marinette nodded, swallowing. “Nice to see you too! How’s, y’know, life?” She gestured vaguely.

Ivan handed Juleka a beer, and cracked one open for himself as the stoic cousin filled a cup with tap water from the sink.

“Oh it’s been great. Rose and I, we’re in Germany now, but we’re planning on moving to Amsterdam next spring.” Juleka gave her a sideways glance. “Did you know she’s planning on proposing to me?”

Marinette shook her head no. “She’s seemed the type to do it, but I haven’t really been great at keeping in touch.”

Juleka smiled, taking a swig of her beer. “Little does she know I’ve also been plotting something.”

Luka walked in, Mylène in tow. “What’re you plotting, Jules?” His eyes locked on Marinette’s, and his expression seemed to flicker. “Hey, Marinette, how are you?”

That was decidedly less energetic than his conversation with Mylène had been, more uncertain, something like calm, but she’d take it.

Juleka pointedly ignored Luka to sidle up to Mylène instead.

“Oh, good. You know, designing career is picking up, and all of that. You?”

Marinette was distantly aware of the way the popsicle was melting down her fingers, and was grateful when Mylène suddenly opened the back porch door, and some of the party filtered out. She followed, Luka at her side.

His hair was wet, and his clothes were damp. But he didn’t smell of sweat like her. Nor of river water, as she might expect from his life on the houseboat. It was chlorine.

“I’ve been catching shifts as a lifeguard,” he explained. “Sorry about the pool smell.”

“It’s alright,” Marinette said. Another wave of brain freeze hit, and she with drew the popsicle, which had her fingers and lips a sticky red mess. This was terrible. She was a disaster, unable to even eat properly.

Luka got handed a beer, and then another, as Ivan made his rounds. One for him, one for her. This break was determined to be longer than ten minutes. Marinette didn’t mind. The day was warm and the company was good.

She was fine, seeing Luka now. Until she glanced at his hand, the one holding her beer for when she was done with her messy popsicle, and saw his ring finger. Somewhere in Luka’s work as a lifeguard, he had probably gotten his tan, that was to be expected. But here… there were tan lines around where a wedding band should be. Where one apparently did sit, if Luka wasn’t in the pool or about to help lift heavy objects.

So much for reconnecting. Marinette had always hoped that one day, she’d see him again, and that one day, she’d be able to work up the nerve to flirt, to take chances.

“You good?” He asked, aware that her mind had gone elsewhere.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine. You know how it is! Brain freezes!” Marinette defended.

Luka’s eyes only sparkled with mirth. “Right, right.”

“Um, if you don’t mind my asking,” Marinette bit down on the popsicle this time, and quickly licked up the trails of red juice before continuing, “who…?” She indicated the tan lines. The spot where his wedding band should’ve been.

“Who…?” Luka’s brow was furrowed, not processing. She knew he wasn’t teasing, Luka never would. Marinette was about to clarify, to tell him that she didn’t know he was married, when—

“Oh. Oh!” Luka exclaimed, coming to the realization about what she was asking. “I’m not actually married,” his cheeks grew warm, “it’s just that sometimes when I’ve been on tour, the attention just gets to be a bit much, and so I bought myself a cheap ring to wear. People can’t tell it isn’t legit, and I guess it just became a part of me.” He looked at his finger, holding onto her beer and his, inspecting the tanned skin on either side of the band of white.

“Ah.” Marinette didn’t know what to say, other than she had jumped to a conclusion, again.

“Hey Ivan!” One of Ivan’s coworkers called. “We got the machines in, and we need to know where the laundry plumbing is so we can help you hook them up.”

Ivan walked back in the house, and Mylène took that as a cue to guide Juleka back in too. The stoic cousin had already vanished back inside either to help move the machines or for more tap water.

Just Luka and Marinette, outside and alone.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think—” Luka started, as Marinette said:

“I just wondered because I—”

They both looked at each other, sheepish, and started to laugh.

Marinette’s popsicle was practically slush at this point, and Luka guided her back inside so he could set down the beers and turn on the kitchen sink for her to wash her hands. Her face burned as she watched him pluck the popsicle stick from her fingers, eat the rest off, and throw it away, all with a grin aimed in her direction.

“You first,” Luka said.

Marinette dried her hands, and then folded the towel back up nicely. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I haven’t seen you in a while, and so, well, I’m really glad you aren’t married.”

Luka clearly hadn’t been expecting that, but maybe he had been hoping, just like her.

“I am glad too. I’m sorry you thought that, even for a moment. I never expected you to wait for me or anything, but I’m glad to be available when you are.”

Marinette smiled at him. “Me too. Maybe you want to grab a bite with me when we’re done here and catch me up on your studio work?”

“I’d love to,” Luka smiled back, opening her beer and then his. He touched his bottle to hers in cheers.

“And maybe if things go well that tan line won’t have to go away?” Marinette asked in one breath, rushed words blending together.

Luka almost choked on his drink, grinning again. “I didn’t know you had been pining that badly!”

“Luka! Don’t tease!” But Marinette, too, was grinning like a fool.

[bard-llama]

WiP Wednesday

I toooootally didn’t forget that today was Wednesday! But it’s STILL Weds for another 2 hours where I am, which means you get a snip! I started rereading (Im)Perfect Strangers today so have a snip from the Don’t Cry for Me, Temeria ‘verse.

“Mr. Zoltan,” Boussy tugged on the dwarf’s clothing one evening in the public dining hall. Roche was busy bullying Fenn into letting Imadia look at his broken wrist, because the idiot kept trying to use it, but he saw the way everyone in the area turned at least partial attention towards the boy. It was, after all, less common for Boussy to initiate conversations, especially in public.

“What can I do for you, Wee Lad?” Zoltan asked, smiling behind his bushy beard.

“How come dwarves hate elves?” Boussy asked innocently, probably unaware of the immediate tension that spread across the room. There were the dwarves within hearing distance, of course – Zoltan, Yarpen, and Skalen, most notably – but there were also several elves, because Iorveth had followed Imadia and Rinn was sitting next to Anais. In other words, this could end badly.

“Ah,” Zoltan coughed. “Well, the easiest answer is because elves hate dwarves.”

“They do?” Boussy tilted his head.

“Magda said,” Anais interrupted loudly, “that it’s cause elves were like humans before humans were here.”

That certainly didn’t go over well with the elves present, though Zoltan nodded.

“She’s not wrong, though I wouldn’t, uh, use those words, exactly.”

“What does that mean?” Boussy asked, frowning down at his hands.

“Well, uh…” Zoltan cleared his throat, glancing around quickly to search for either support or an escape.

Roche would love to help, but honestly, he knew nothing about the history between elves and dwarves. And he was kind of curious, though very on edge. There were an awful lot of people around who might have personal opinions about that history, and that tended to get messy.

Skalen Burdon, the alderman’s nephew, ducked his head, pointedly not making eye contact with Zoltan, but Yarpen Zigrin seemed to take pity on him.

“Elves were the conquerors of the continent before humans came along and did it better,” Yarpen said bluntly, and Roche winced, practically able to feel the offense coming from Iorveth.

“Excuse you,” Iorveth’s voice was snippy. “We spread culture across the continent.”

“Yeah, by conquering people,” Yarpen glared at him. “Bah, are you even old enough to remember?”

Now Roche was the one frowning. Wasn’t Iorveth like… really old?

“Not many are,” Imadia said gravely, somehow spreading a sense of calm. “The times Yarpen speaks of started long before the Conjunction of the Spheres. And yes,” she held up a hand in Iorveth’s face, “you are too young. When you were born, elves already ruled the continent, though not without conflict.”

Zoltan snorted, “that’s one way to put it. Elves tried – and failed – to conquer Mahakam.”

“Wait, really?” Thirteen blurted out, blinking in surprise. “But like – even Foltest didn’t really conquer Mahakam. And everyone said he was mad to even try!”

“No, he didn’t.” Yarpen and Zoltan both looked smug.

Roche decidedly kept his mouth shut. There was no need to remind people that he’d been part of that campaign.

“Plenty o’ other places they did succeed in conquering, though. Just look at Loc Muinne!”

Iorveth stiffened. The matter of the extinction of the Vrans was a complicated one, and Iorveth had personal connections to Loc Muinne’s history. It was probably best to move on from this quickly.

“So what about dwarves?” Roche asked.

“What about us?” Zoltan asked, eyeing Iorveth in a way that meant he too was aware of why Roche was changing the subject.

“Well, humans came and conquered. Elves came and conquered. Did dwarves ever? Or uh, other species before the Conjunction?”

“Not really,” Zoltan shrugged. “Not to say that there weren’t some who tried – I’ve no doubt every species has at least some of those. But as a species, we dwarves live in the mountains, which many other species find… inhospitable. Not all of them, though! Dwarves and gnomes have always gotten along well enough.”

“Wait, but we live in a mountain,” Anais pouted.

“Ah, but remember,” Pillow Tits smiled kindly at her, “humans can’t live without sunlight. So we can live in mountains, but we need to return to the surface fairly regularly or our health will start to decay.”

“But dwarves don’t?” Boussy asked.

Zoltan shook his head. “Not really. I mean, there are effects on vision if you don’t experience sunlight fairly regularly. But I think maybe that came later – that we adjusted to sunlight later, and that’s why we can lose that, if we stay under the mountains for too long. Sunlight hurts if you’ve been out of it for too long.”

“Hmm, that’s an interesting theory,” Imadia tapped her finger against her chin and Iorveth rolled his eye. “Dwarves came from stone, yes? I’ve heard some say that you’re eternal like stone as well, but – well, I think that was more poetic than accurate.”

“Mmm, sort of,” Skalen grunted. “I dunno anything about the pre-Conjunction stuff, but when dwarves die, we return to the stone. You can visit our catacombs here, in fact. They’re quite something, I must say.”

“Full of wraiths,” Geralt grumbled under his breath. “Every fucking body had a wraith, pretty much.”

Roche blinked. What had Geralt been doing with the bodies in the Vergen Catacombs and why?

[demialwrites]

It Will Be Okay - Zhongli

I need more covid 19-related comfort. I don't even know how you guys who work are dealing. I'm struggling just at home!!

A novel disease swept through Liyue harbour. Everyone was on edge constantly, living in fear of being infected. Those who were, were bedridden for weeks. It brought productivity to a halt and some of those at the top of government squabbled over whether to let no shipments through or only a few. A couple--fools, you'd say--said let business run as usual. Those with the final say chose to slow business to a trickle. You happened to have one of the jobs that couldn't be abandoned. Even if you didn't, you would still be exhausted. You were tired from being afraid, tired from looking at other people being tired, and tired from the increased workload. Going to bed, your sleep was restless and stressful. Bad dreams came almost every night. Soon you were a zombie, going through the motions and taking what little joy you could from a favourite snack and your family. You couldn't see your friends and went straight home from work to avoid any crowds. Tonight, however, you found an empty spot up some of the stairs that had the red railings. The café had shut down but there was enough light to hang out nearby. The sun had set early and the soft light of the moon was calming. A few stars even twinkled. You barely registered that you were nodding off before you fell asleep.

You woke to see the moon, still. Except you weren't leaning on the red railing anymore. It was something warm and hard. Trying to move, you found you were stuck in place, even when pushing against whatever was around you. "Hmmm. You're awake," rumbled a deep, serene voice. You really should be panicking. Really! But the voice was soothing and even. Its qualities conveyed, Everything may not be okay but it will be. Not with words but you'd take it. The warm and hard holding you shifted and circled. It was too rough and pulled at your clothing, so you squirmed and protested. The movement halted. "I forgot my scales were rough. Allow me to fix that." The movement started up again but in different directions. You braced yourself on those scales the voice mentioned. You could see what surrounded you now. Gold glinted gently in the moonlight. You pushed on the surface and it gave under your fingers like the extra weight you put on recently. A dark brown snout, yellow eyes, followed by the rest of a head, came into view. You knew those branch-like horns! "Rex Lapis!" you blurted. "I am not Rex Lapis." The dragon spoke without moving its mouth. "My name is Zhongli. I saw you fall in the middle of the city. You were asleep so I didn't wake you." You stayed there, confused. If not Rex Lapis, then who? "I brought you to the cliff," he continued. "It's one of my favourite views. My body will shield you from the ocean wind. If you keep pressing on my stomach, it will tickle though." You jerked your hand away. "Don't worry. If you want to go home, I will let go of you. However," Zhongli hesitated, tilting his large head. "Being here reminded me of a great battle that took place..." His voice drifted at the end and hinted there was more if you wanted to hear it. He waited for a reply with an almond-shaped yellow eye fixed on your face. Maybe you should have said no and demanded he released you but you wanted an excuse to forget about the mess that Liyue was for now. Also, who would turn down a bedtime story from a dragon?! "...and then?" you asked. Zhongli snuffed through his reptilian nostrils. He seemed pleased. He launched into a story back when Rex Lapis battled a sea monster. You thought it was strange that this dragon knew a detailed story about the geo god after the denial. You listened, doing your best to imagine everything he told you. It was difficult. Not because he was a bad story-teller but because you were still tired and his voice was still soothing, forcing you slowly down into slumber. Even more so when he hit a stride with his words. He continued to slowly spin the ancient tale even when you closed your eyes and let your cheek fall to his soft belly. Zhongli eventually noticed your even, deep breathing. Keeping a close eye on your fragile body, he carefully arranged his long, snake-like body so that it hugged you on all sides and supported your head. He could feel your abdomen expand when you breathed. He dared squeeze a bit tighter and faintly felt your heartbeat. Relaxing again, he inwardly repeated the promise that he would do his best to protect the people of Liyue, even if he wasn't their god anymore. You woke up annoyed that you left the window open last night to let the bright sunlight in. Blinking away the sleepiness, you remembered where you actually were. But gone was the dragon and in his place was a dragon-like man. His features were the same colour scheme as the dragon so it was easy for you to make the connection. Plus, he held you as he did the night before, just with arms. Strangely, you felt as secure in these arms as you did when you had been wrapped in a dragon's long body. He was still bigger than you but decidedly more human-shaped. He gazed off into the distance, unaware that you were looking up at him with your mouth hanging open. It did give you time to look him over. The hard scales from last night apparently trailed up his body to his cheeks because they glinted in the morning sun as clouds passed by. He dipped his chin thoughtfully, bringing your attention to the branch-like horns still on his head, just smaller. Seeing a handsome blend of man and dragon was fascinating. It took a lot of effort not to reach up and rudely run your fingers along his scales. His grip tightened slightly and he looked down. Your eyes met and you discovered that his eyes were a unique blend of the yellow eyes he had last night and brown. He dipped his chin, staring at you more closely. You recoiled, like you had been caught doing something naughty. That caused him to smile gently. He helped you to your feet while you tried to feel that Zhongli's appearance was normal. That it was normal to have a snake-body trailing behind him. A quick transformation back to completely dragon and he set to work trying to convince you to let him carry you back to the city on his back. You glanced over the side of the nearby cliff, which was steep, and promptly agreed. You climbed on and hesitantly gripped his horns. He didn't protest and instead glided smoothly down the mountain towards the wooden docks of the harbour. After stepping awkwardly off Zhongli, you turned to glance around and see if anyone had noticed your arrival. You turned back to find a handsome, slickly-dressed man, patting his clothes down with brown gloves. The rest of his outfit matched, brown and gold. He definitely looked richer than you, and normal-sized. After fussing some, Zhongli looked up from his clothes at you. You looked away quickly, fearing he might think you were checking him out again. "The dockworkers are still asleep at this hour," he informed you. "Are you uncomfortable after I took you away from your bed last night? The least I can do is walk you home." He politely gestured for you to lead the way. As if the man wasn't clearly above your status! You weren't aching at all but you felt like if you said goodbye, he might vanish, never to be seen by you again. "O-okay." You led him in the direction of your apartment, purposefully slowly. Your tiny place probably cost less than his clothes. The mysterious dragon-man distracted you from your anxious thoughts by stopping to check a tea house for some tea leaves, saying that he should also treat you to some tea. After politely declining, he insisted. You didn't feel like you could say no, especially since he had some tidbits about each kind of tea that you were happy to absorb. He seemed to have a tab running with the shopkeeper because he purchased some tea without handing over any mora. Again, Zhongli stopped to get each of you a pastry to match the tea. He said, with a strange amount of authority in his voice, that the pastries he got matched the tea perfectly. He said nothing about your cheap apartment while inside. He then coaxed a tea that was so lacking in bitterness from your tiny kettle on your tiny stove that you swear it tasted sweet. You sat at your table, red-faced and embarrassed, that such a man was making you tea. He never said a thing about it. He only brought up anything slightly related when he picked up a cheap knickknack decorating your table. "I have never seen these before," he muttered to himself, then placed it back. He said that with such a lack of judgment that you finally started to feel at ease. You were first to sip the tea. Praise burst from you, causing him to smile gently as he was cradling his teacup to his lips. He seemed to be pleased that you enjoyed the tea as much as he did. The pastry was also a hit with you. It was as perfect as he said it would be. Teatime with Zhongli was relaxing and you didn't want it to end. You began to prod him with hesitant questions about things you thought he might know about. It was like poking a hole in a water balloon; information flowed out and didn't stop flowing the more you asked. He didn't deflate and run out of things to say but you did discover that you were late for work, judging by the angle of the sunlight out the window. Thankfully, the pastries had been eaten and the tea was cold by then. Zhongli insisted on talking to your boss about your being late. You didn't know what he could do but it couldn't hurt. Money talked in Liyue and his clothes screamed lots of it. To your astonishment, Zhongli was able to distract your boss from her scorn with his disarming confidence and good manners. She forgot all about your lateness. All she did was ask later where you got this new friend. And also, can we sell the funeral parlor he works for some of our goods? A funeral parlor? Who is this man? You thanked Zhongli for the tea and pastries. He thanked you for the good company, which made you blush. He told you to drop by his place of work when you next brewed that tea, as he had left the rest of it at your apartment. He promised to bring more pastries. You agreed immediately, forgetting to ask exactly who he was. You watched him leave, swearing you would find the courage somewhere to follow up on your agreement. You don't break agreements in Liyue. Months later, the city was still in semi-shutdown. You had taken to sleeping in. Your new boyfriend, Zhongli, was not happy with staying in but he was happy to be with you. In his hybrid state, he held you from behind his arms with his tail was wrapped around your leg. Warm and cozy. You both lay in his bed, because his sheets were tough enough to not be shredded by his scales and also...it was so much nicer than your bed. It made you smile just being here. "We could get takeout and dine at the peak of the mountain of your choice," he suggested. Not even opening your eyes, you replied, "Later. Lunch, maybe?" He hummed. A minute passed. He insisted, "I will tell you a secret if you accompany me for breakfast." You opened your eyes and rolled over onto your back. His tail uncoiled and settled loosely over your ankles. You knew him by now. If you agreed, it was a verbal contract that he would take seriously. "It had better be a good secret. A juicy one." "You agree to my terms?" A teasing lilt in his voice. "Yes." "...I used to be known as Rex Lapis." You flew up from the bed into a sitting position. "I knew it!" "Hmmm. Why didn't you tell me?" "I thought it would be rude. You're so polite." "Well, now you know and now we can have breakfast." He pulled himself to sit at the edge of the bed so that his tail hung off the side. It soon became legs. "Bring your wallet, Dear." He waved dismissively.