#everyone moved on but i stayed here 🗣🗣🗣

[priceofreedom]

Guess I should prob'ly head home too. "Home", huh?

[thegirloffans]

Everyone moved on but I'm still here and I WILL STAY HERE!!!🗣🗣🗣🗣

[voiceless-people]

MY TOP 10 WARRIOR CAT MAPS 🗣🗣🗣🗣💥💥💥💥

These are all just my opinion, and I don't think any of these maps are "better" than the other, they just have personal meaning to me.

These are in order from highest to lowest!

1 Rut. Come on. Rut is the map ever. Without fail I will start tearing up when I watch it, I cried the first time. Such incredible art with such an empowering song. It's a great watch for when you're feeling low.

2 Blame walked so that Rut could run. This map meant so much to me when it came out- and it got me through rough times. I know every part and the song by heart. Such a lovely message.

3 King and lionheart. This map was MY SHIT back in elementary school. I hadn't even read arc 2 of warriors at the time, and this map does the story so much better than the actual books. Also, the pinned comment about Squirrelflight is a good read.

4 Buy the stars!!! How I found out about MARINA!!! This is one of the most nostalgic maps ever. What do you mean it's almost a decade old. This map is iconic Hollyleaf propaganda. Also this song needs to be more popular.

5 Poor George. This song seriously goes hard. The buildup is so intense and crashes down on you as the singer sobs by themself at the end. Yellowfangs struggle oml. Raggedstars death is done so well.

6 Warriors reprise. This map kicks ass. SSS intro? Hell yeah. I cheered during the buy the stars segment. Every part is so distinct and the animation is wonderful. I love so many of these maps.

7 Millhaven. I knew about this song long before the map was even announced, and I thought it was so cool that this (semi)obscure polish song was in a warriors map. The color palette is so dreary yet fitting, and has a nice buildup as the story goes on.

8 Burn him down. While the map is relatively short, it tells Ashfurs story in a unique almost episodic manner. A very unique song too. Little Lionpaw hopping from paw to paw is lowkey peak.

9 Roxanne. Come on, you knew this would be here. This map changed everyones brain chemistry and you know it. So iconic. WHYYYYYY DOES MY HEAAAAAART CRYYYYYY.. it's this low down for a reason tho.

10 Mama we all go to hell. I DON'T LIKE DRAKINATOR. I think they should've stayed off YouTube, but it's undeniably true that this map influenced a lot of ppl. This was one of the first few maps I really saw, and damn it hit like a truck. It's at the bottom because. Drakinator sucks.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Everything moves honestly should've placed on the list, but unfortunately the map itself doesn't mean much to me on a personal level.

Mama told me This is one of my favorite mother mother songs! The fall theming is so nice.

Kids again okay so. This map is my guilty pleasure. I know literally nothing about these cats outside of this map because I refuse to read dawn of the clans. I discovered the song via this map and now it is THE song I associate with my favorite ship ever.

Beautiful another nostalgic one. I just like it a lot lol

Cowboy Dan I'm not really sure what cheetah z did but I think they're controversial?? Either way I love this fucking song. The cloudy rain part? Immaculate vibes.

[hobiebrownismygod]

INFECTION --> Part 1

made this for my Pookie @tatumis-a idk the concept reminded me of you and I think you'll like it hopefully

42!Miles x Fem!Reader --> Last of Us AU

WC: 1k

A/N: This is basically just a random little AU I wanted to write out for myself 😭 only a short beginning to what is probably gonna end up being a long series. its not gonna follow the plot of the original TLOU but its gonna be fairly similar to stay tuned 🔊  🗣🔥

____________________________________________________________

This was your chance

You lowered yourself out of the window as quietly as you could, silently praying you wouldn't alert any of the guards stationed near the dorms.

You'd been planning this day for weeks. The day you'd finally escape the prison the government called a camp. The enslavement they called schooling.

It wasn't schooling and it wasn't a camp. It was a way for them to turn scared little kids into soldiers for their useless army. So they could send more and more young people out into the fields to die from cordyceps for nothing.

Tomorrow would be the day you'd graduate. 16 years old. Ready to be another soldier. Another pawn.

But you weren't going to let that happen.

You fell to the ground with a thump, immediately dodging behind one of the many wilted bushes surrounding the bottom floor. You watched as one of the guard groups walked by, flashlights aimed towards the ground in front rather than the surrounding areas.

You took your chance to quickly move past, walking along the streets as inconspicuously as you could. You hid from any guards that walked by, hoping they wouldn't notice you in the darkness.

The strict curfew kept the streets empty while the patrol attempted to weed out the few stragglers left behind. It was well past 11pm and basically everyone was asleep by now.

It only took you a few minutes of brisk walking to reach the fence, the only thing separating the camp from the outside world, riddled with infected and rabid animals. Mercenaries and gangs. Psychopaths and murderers.

Yet you had a feeling that the outside world would be a lot better than being entrapped in this suffocating line they expected you to call home.

The outside world would be a lot more welcoming than the government would let on. After all, if the Fireflies could survive, why couldn't you? A "terrorist" group who's sole goal was to save humanity from extinction.

To find a cure.

And now you were going to find them.

Because it was only the Fireflies that could truly make you feel like you belonged.

Like there was something worth living for.

A cure...that would save everyone.

You tossed your backpack over the fence, following after it. The sharp edges of the metal scraped at your hands, leaving behind scratches and drawing blood. You ignored the pain, biting back groans as you heaved yourself over, falling to the ground on the other side.

You immediately felt...vulnerable. Exposed.

Out there, you could be met with anything.

The groans of infected could be heard in the distance. You could always hear them this late at night, but right now their moans seemed much more harrowing.

But you shook off the fear. Finding the Fireflies was the most important thing to you right now.

And that's exactly what you were going to do.

--------------------

Two days later

--------------------

Fuck

You stumbled as you ran through the mall, the sounds of growling and moaning disappearing into the distance behind you. You knew they couldn't follow you into here, the place was too fortified, but you kept running just in case.

You turned the corner quickly, arm outstretched to grab onto the wall and keep you from falling. Your head was turned over your shoulder, looking behind you to make sure you weren't being followed. That was a mistake.

When you looked back in front of you, you immediately stepped back, arms up in the air. Standing in front of you, leaning back against the wall with crimson red leaking out of his side, was a young boy with a gun in his hand, pointed directly at you.

"Step the fuck back." He hissed, shaking the gun at you and cocking it threateningly. You obliged, silently taking a step back and nearly jumping as your back hit the wall. "Look man, I'm not gonna hurt you-"

"Shut up." You nodded, looking down and keeping your hands up while he inspected you, head tilting to the side slightly. "What's your name?" He asked questioningly, voice as icy cold as possible.

"Y/N." You replied, slowly looking back up at him. His gaping wound caught your eye. His shirt was ripped, as though he'd been slashed at with a knife...or with claws. When you squinted your eyes slightly, you could make out...

a bite wound.

Suddenly you stood up straight, your heart dropping into your stomach. "Wh-what is that?" You asked softly, pointing towards his side. He looked down and his eyes widened, a flicker of fear flashing across his face. "Nothing." He said quickly. "Keep your hands in the air."

"Were you bit?" You asked cautiously, putting your hands back up. He hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. But-"

You cut him off. "Let me go. You're going to die anyways, don't take me down with you."

"I'm not going to die!" He exclaimed nervously, voice trembling and the gun in his hand shaking slightly. He cleared his throat, pointing the gun at you once again. "I'm not going to die."

"Let me guess, you were bit this morning? By one of those monsters out there?" You asked, tilting your head back slightly. "Come on, man. Just let me go."

"I-I-" he hesitated. "You're not gonna believe me." he said quietly, shaking his head.

You narrowed your eyes at him. "What's there to believe?"

He stayed silent for a moment. "This bite...its two weeks old." he whispered, slowly moving his gun down. When you realized he wasn't going to hurt you, his words began to sink in.

"You're lying." You muttered. "You're lying! That's not possible. Everyone turns within three days." You took a cautious step towards him, gesturing for him to show you the wound. "Let me see it."

He leaned back against the wall and sat down, lifting his shirt up slightly. You crouched in front of him, the sight sending a wave of nausea across you. "Oh my god." You whispered softly. He flinched.

The wound was...healed, somewhat. It looked old. Definitely older than other bites you'd seen. It wasn't infected. But how was that possible?

Everyone turns within three days...

"How are you alive?" You whispered.

He stared at you back at you, his eyes filled with what you could only understand as pain. "I don't know."

____________________________________________________________

Tags: Tags: @therealloopylupin2099 @l0starl @daydreaming-en-pointe @itsparis-07 @vileviale @puff-hugs @d0uble-tr0ubl3 @choccymilkdrinker @breadglasses @sunasslut69 @a-cinnamonbunny @ask-1610-miles @axels-garden @miniaturesuitfox @spotconlon55 @s6onder

Taglist Link

[sharkpupsblog]

😨 Lost Horse! 🐎 PART 3. Lisa’s friends.

A Sabine x GN! Reader fanfic!

Hi!!! Silly new part omg!!! Also i want to apologize bcs this is Sabine x reader fic and she . Hasn’t appeared 💀. I promise she’ll be here soon! Just one more part!!! Then she!!! 🗣🙏❤️ Once again I wrote. A lot . I wrote like 4 pages worth of stuff for this one part 😭 I broke two pages into this part and the other two will be in the next! Also I was sent an ask saying my stuff was hard to read due to my writing being close together 💔 so sorry about that everyone! This part has spacing and any other writing I do will also have spacing! Ty to the anon who sent in that ask and let me know what I needed to change! It was and it is very appreciated! :D pls do tell me if the spacing here is ok guys! ❤️❤️❤️ anyways enjoy! :D

Summary: Lisa and her friends come to get you.

Warnings: none.

You paced back and forth outside of your home. Your arms were crossed and pressed tightly against your chest. You’re so nervous, you can’t breathe properly. You feel like you’re going to pass out. Khaan stood nearby watching you pace. He let out a soft neigh wanting your attention. You looked to him frowning and mouthing ‘what?’ Khaan walked forward with his head low. When he got to you, he pressed his head against your arms.

You uncrossed them, so you could move the horse’s head up. You laid his head on your shoulder, hugging his neck. You buried your face in his mane “what are we going to do Khaan?” You felt like crying “why did you act that way?” Khaan let out a huff. You wished he could talk you wish he would tell you why he acted the way he did. You wished he would tell you who that girl was to him. You stood outside for a few minutes hugging Khaan close to you. You let him go when you heard the door to your home open. Your dad walked outside, and he looked upset.

You feared the worst. Surely the girl had pressed charges, and now the police were coming to take Khaan. “I called Lisa” your father started “and she said her and her dad won’t press charges.” So if they weren’t pressing charges then what was your dad upset about? “And she told me more about Khaan” your dad narrowed his eyes at the horse. Khaan neighed upon hearing his name, and he walked to your dad. The man let Khaan get close, but he backed away when Khaan tried to get pats from him. You stood surprised by your dad’s denial to pet Khaan. “Da-“ you were about to ask him why he acted that way, but he spoke over you. “Khaan can’t stay here” your dad suddenly turned cold towards the Friesian.

You shook your head “what do you mean he can’t stay? Dad what happened at Starshine won’t happen again I promise.” You didn’t want your dad to take your horse away. He shook his head “that horse isn’t normal” he pointed to Khaan who walked back to you. You stood in front of Khaan shielding him from your dad. “What are you talking about? All horses have bad days and that-“ your dad raised his voice, but he wasn’t yelling “I know about the eyes now!” You stood still feeling your blood run cold. “Lisa told me” your dad walked forwards “that horse isn’t normal you knew it and kept it a secret from me!” When your dad got to Khaan, he moved his forelock aside revealing the horse’s red eyes.

“This horse cannot stay here” he looked to you, and Khaan shook his head fixing his forelock. You shook your head too, and you put your hands together. “Dad please don’t take him” you choked up “please!” Your father frowned he hated seeing you upset but this had to be done. “Lisa will come tomorrow along with her friends, and you will take Khaan to someone who knows more about him” your dad cupped your cheek. “He comes from a dangerous place with dangerous people who are surely looking for him” your father feared for your safety. “You must let him go” he wiped your tears with his thumb when you started crying. “Go and pack a bag the journey will be long, and you will need-“ you pushed your dad away from you surprising him.

“I’m not going!” You cried turning to Khaan hugging him tightly. Khaan let out a snort pressing his snout against your cheek “you can’t make me go I’m not going!” You felt like a kid again begging your dad not to make you go someplace boring. The man felt like crying too this hurt him just as much as it hurt you, but Khaan couldn’t stay.

“Listen to me” he said in a strong voice trying to be strong for you both, and to get his point across. “His rider is dangerous” he waited for you to look at him. When you did, he continued talking “she will come for him, and I have no power to protect you.” The man put a hand on your shoulder “you must go with Lisa and her friends.” He huffed when you rammed into him as you hugged him. You cried saying you didn’t want to go, or let Khaan go. Your dad couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. He kissed the top of your head hugging you close to him “I don’t want you to go either, and I don’t want Khaan to leave but this is the only way.” Your dad broke the hug, and he held your shoulders. He was trying his best to stop crying “let’s go pack you a bag.”

You sat on the side of your bed with your backpack on the floor in front of you. It was packed with things you would need on a trip. You were usually excited for trips, but you held hate for this one. You closed your eyes trying to keep the tears pricking at the sides of your eyes from falling. You were in your room waiting for Lisa and her friends. They were in your kitchen with your dad, laughing and having breakfast. Once they finished you would start the journey with them to Goldenhills. Every time you heard them laugh you got increasingly upset. How could they be so happy? You didn’t know any of the girls, but you already hated them.

They were so happy even though they knew what you were going through. You looked outside seeing Khaan. He was tacked up ready for the journey. His head hung low, and his ears were pinned to the back of his head. You knew he was feeling like you. You wished again that he could talk, so he could tell you how he felt. You stood up when you heard a knock at your door. “Come in” your voice was rough from crying. You expected your dad to walk in, but instead of your dad, a girl walked in. She was dressed in fancy riding gear. Her hair was blonde with pretty pink highlights in it. If you had met in different circumstances, you would have complimented her hair, but right now you didn’t even want to see her.

She walked to you holding her hand out when she got near you, and she gave you a confident smile “my name is Anne.” She wanted you to shake her hand “and yours is?” You told her your name, but you didn’t shake her hand making your meeting awkward for her. Anne laughed nervously, and she looked at the door. More girls stood at the door watching you two. “That’s Alex” she pointed to a girl who was dressed in a very comfy looking style. Alex waved at you giving you a smile. “That’s Linda” she pointed to a girl standing next to Alex. The girl had cute round glasses and a very comfy looking cardigan on. You wished you had met all of them in a different situation so you could have complemented their styles.

Linda was already smiling, but her smile got wider when she was introduced, and she said, “nice to meet you!” Anne pointed to the last girl in her group. “And that’s Lisa” Lisa waved standing awkwardly at your door. Anne looked back at you “but you already knew that.” She was trying to be friendly with you, you didn’t laugh or smile. You just stood with a neutral look trying to hide how much you hated everyone in your room.

Anne was hoping you were just shy, and that’s why you weren’t talking but she knew better. She nervously wiped her hands on her pants. “Well uh-“ usually Anne spoke clearly, but your anger made her nervous. “We are leaving now” she walked to the door going to her friends “we’ll wait for you to say goodbye.” Anne smiled at you again. This time her smile was nervous. She held no confidence you took it all from her “we’ll be outside.”

TY FOR READING! :D

[httpsobi]

TEAM, MEET... GREEN LANTERN, AT YOUR SERVICE!

WARNINGS/TAGS + sfw, gender neutral o/c or reader insert, vague descriptions of violence, blood and injuries from fights.

A/N + it's a ghost town in here but enjoy!

★ chaotic on the verge of war criminal but also somehow calm, mature paternal figure

★ gets the feral 'i will bite your ankles off' from hal, gets the calmness more from john ♥︎ has probably bit hal at least 5 times when she/he/they were little

★ pretty battle smart, and while she/he/they aren't physically the strongest in the team without her/his/their constructs, has knocked out people with a punch ♥︎ dumb as HELL as a civilian for some reason... like god where does her/his/their intelligence go in daily life

★ best described as the golden retriever/husky friend. smart (sometimes), dramatic, dumb 90% of the time, friendly, clingy

★ most likely part of the og (also known as the cadmus mess) ♥︎ or at least a witness

★ if she/he/they were directly a part of cadmus, probably was going to be grounded for life by the corpse men

★ if she/he/they weren't, probably arrived with the leaguers n' laughed their ass off the WHOLE time the sidekicks got yelled it ♥︎ until they got scolded by john

★ great buddies w/ everyone on the team ♥︎ somehow manages to be good (even great?) buddies with connor ♥︎ i love the idea that connor's this blank n' dead faced dude then there's just someone who's never stopped smiling ♥︎ had a bet w/ robin n' artemis to see how many pranks they could pull on wally before he caught on. it was a tie between all three of them when they all unknowingly set up traps in the same room at the same time n' wally caught all of them

★ calm n collected during fights, usually the one saving kid flash from his demise when he decides to run off like an true idiot ♥︎ often jokes about them being the new speedster n' green lantern duo until they actually turn into them n' she/he/they are just like "... fuck."

★ despite the fact that they are mostly calm, has gone manic n' insane a couple times during battle ♥︎ most likely times: battle w/ amazo, fight with the injustice league, episode 16 in the simulation (i see them going manic as a way to give the rest time to escape, ends up 'dying' to the beams)

★ makes fun of batman like it's her/his/their full time job. they do it like rent's due next month ♥︎ it's a hal jordan thing- started when he would babysit her/him/them n' had no one to cover for him during JLA meetings so she/he/they grew up witness batlantern bicker n' fight like there's no tomorrow

★ the team LOVES listening to her/him/them talk about their time on other planets. ♥︎ m'gann clings onto her/him/them so much when she first joins the team cause like "omg! someone who is spends time off earth!"

★ if she/he/they got a chance to face hal or john during s1e26 when they were under klarion's control, you best believe she/he/they beat his ass n' proceeded to take photos with them unconscious ♥︎ definitely did the rapper poses where they squat with like prayer hands or peace signs over their unconscious bodies ♥︎ if she/he/they had social media for their green lantern persona, you BET they posted it with no context n just "😈🙏🏻🥱🗣" ♥︎ did it w/ p much every other male leaguer too ♥︎ left the women alone cause 'respect our big sexy buff talented women' ♥︎ made robin email the photos to all the leaguers as holiday cards

★ as the team grew n got older, she/he/they either joined nightwing in leading the team or moved on to the justice league w/ zatanna n' rocket ♥︎ probably preferred staying w/ nightwing tho ♥︎ 10/10 is the :D bubbly nice fun mentor who's all joking n' giggles then she/he/they go into missions n' the younger team members are like "what in the hell"

all work n' writing is work of @httpsobi. i ask you please do not copy, rewrite, translate or post on other platforms without my consent.

[drunkjaked]

omgomgneiw youre so sweet

but okay, a while ago i saw this thing abt this couple having like a gesture (?) that only both of them know means that the person is horny. like the girl was holding her bfs hand and just randomly rubbed her thumb in the middle of his palm and he knew and i just ?!?! couldnt ever get that out of my head (i saw it YEARS AGO) and now i can't stop thinking about that concept with jay (or any member of the hyung line tbh) like just imagine playing with his hands, to which he doesnt pay mind to bc it's a normal habit of yours, as youre surrounded by your shared friends and he's busy being the life of the party and making everyone laugh and you just lightly rub your thumb on the middle of his palm while watching him laugh abt something with heeseung and he almost immediately turns his head to you, eyebrow raised in knowing question and the little nod you give him with a small playful frown is enough for him to pretend he's suddenly busy and has to take you two home 😞 just know he doesnt even make it home when he decides he can't take it anymore. parking in a empty parking lot somewhere and taking you from behind telling you "fuck baby, all you can think about is my dick yeah? rather than carrying a conversation with your friend youre thinking about choking on my cock, right?" will absolutely rail tf out of you, taking in the way your ass moves in the pretty little skirt you wore for him. - 🗣 <3

im a big fidgeter like i cannot stay still and the thought of absentmindedly drawing a circle on jay’s palm and then being pulled out of the room by him to FUCK????? im DIZZZYYYYYYYY ARE YOU KIDDING 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 need this with him..

NOT EVEN MAKING IT HOME???? shaking i am sobbing please WHAT??? he would literally never let you hear the end of it.. maybe he’s telling you pathetic you are.. we just got here and you want to leave already? just so i can stuff that pretty mouth? i can see him being the type where (if you do end up making it home) he’s telling you to take everything off for him but leave that pretty little skirt on for me, yeah?

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 wow (also sry this response took so long i was just GENUINELY in shock at the thought of this ilysm and pls keep sending asks!!!)

[gardenerian]

Allow me to indulge you and formally ask: 5 times Ian and Lip shared ice cream and 1 time... Mickey and Tami joined? Mickey and Tami brought them ice cream? Oh! Lip and Ian walked in on Mickey and Tami sharing ice cream? Whatever. Dealer's choice.

🗣 YESSSSSS! i meant to finish and post this yesterday but watch watch really took over my brain. thank you so much for indulging me, my love!🍦❤️ 

1.

ian wakes in a dark, cramped room, in a bed that's too small, surrounded by the sounds of someone else's sleep. just like he has for the last several months.

it's the same, really - except everything is different.

this room is his room. the walls aren't bare white cinderblock, they're covered with posters and childhood art. his toes hang over the side of the bed that's always been his, rather than a stiff prison bunk.

and those sleepy snuffles are carl's, rather than mickey's.

ian's not going to get any sleep in here tonight. he's too lost, too hyperaware of mickey's absence. thrown back into this house, this life, with all its chaos.

the party had been perfect - holding onto liam, ribbing carl over the cake. holding franny, holding freddie. kissing debbie's red hair. watching lip cradle his son at last. kev, veronica, and a hoard of people he didn't know.

but now he's alone with his thoughts instead of alone with mickey.

ian swings his feet over the side of the bed, holding his head in his hands for a moment before making a decision. it's foreign, this freedom. moving about the house simply because he can.

lip is sitting in the kitchen, poking at the sad remains of tonight's sheet cake with a fork. his smile is tired when he spots ian on the stairs.

"thought you'd be sawing logs by now, man."

ian huffs a laugh, snatching lip's fork as he sits beside him. "can't sleep," he admits. "too much... well, too much."

lip nods like he understands, even though he doesn't. he sticks a finger in the icing and frowns. "this cake is dry as fuck. think i know what it needs."

he scoots back from the table, and a moment later he plops a carton of ice cream on the table, two spoons clattering beside it. ian grins, tossing the icing-covered fork aside and reaching for a spoon. lip opens up the ice cream - peanut butter swirl - and holds it out to ian.

they eat in sleepy silence for a moment, two men out of their element even in this familiar place. ian feels the tension of the day slip away a bit. fiona's long gone, mickey's miles away in a cell without him, and his parole officer might just ruin his entire fucking life.

but he can still sit in this yellow kitchen with his brother, sweetness on his tongue and a warmth in his veins. lip looks tired, staring down at the table as he fiddles with his spoon.

"thought you were supposed to sleep when the kid sleeps, pops?"

"you gonna call me pops forever?"

when ian just smiles, lip sighs. "yeah, probably should be asleep. we're still tryin' to work out a routine, y'know?"

ian nods like he understands, even though he doesn't.

“i don’t know how the fuck this is gonna go,” lip continues, and this ian understands. everything feels so up in the air right now, and it’s hard to believe that fucking prison is the last place he really felt secure.

lip stands, pushing the ice cream closer to ian. “glad to have a minute with you though,” he says, clapping ian on the shoulder. “good to have you back.”

ian hums in agreement, tossing a wave over his shoulder. he doesn’t feel like he’s back, not just yet. but it’s nice to be here, wherever he is, with the familiar thumping of his brother up the stairs.

2.

lip stays in the living room after everyone disperses. mickey drags ian upstairs to celebrate the engagement, tami takes fred out to the RV, and the other gallaghers shut themselves away in their own bedrooms. 

but lip sits quietly, buckling under the weight of his own announcement, and listens to the sounds of his family settling in the rooms above him. thinks about raising his son away from them. 

after a little while, once everyone quiets down for sleep, lip is startled from thought by the creeping footsteps of someone on the back stairs. he turns to see ian tiptoeing into the kitchen. 

lip watches him fumble around in the dark for a minute, snorting when ian stubs his toe on the refrigerator. ian jumps at the sound. 

“the fuck you doin’ sitting in the dark?”

lip just shrugs. “just thinking. why aren’t you up there with your betrothed, huh?”

“also thinking,” ian replies, pulling a tub of chocolate ice cream from the freezer. he holds it out to lip in question, who gladly takes it, eager for a distraction. ian grabs the spoons, and they settle on the couch to dig in. 

“so you popped the question,” lip says after a moment. “for real this time?”

ian smacks him lightly on the head. “it was real the first time,” he argues weakly. “but yes, i asked him again tonight.” 

he looks a little dazed, spoon dangling from his mouth. there’s chocolate staining his lips, and he looks impossibly young for a man with a fiancé. 

“how did you know,” lip asks, “that it was right? how are you suddenly so sure, after all that?”

ian takes the tub from lip and settles it in his own lap. “i didn’t know,” he answers. “i don’t know. but - i guess i realized i’m not so afraid to find out.”

and how much of their lives have been driven by fear? fear of being without, fear of being alone. fear of whatever lives within them. fuck, lip’s even afraid right now. how can he know the right thing to do?

“you gotta trust yourself at some point, lip,” ian says then, as if reading his thoughts. he takes lip’s spoon and stands, walking over to the kitchen to put everything away. when he returns, he puts a hand in lip’s hair. 

“i’m going back up before mickey wakes up and gets cranky. see you in the morning?”

lip nods - maybe he’ll be less afraid in the sunlight. 

3.

he’s out of cereal. motherfucker. 

ian peels himself from the couch and trudges to the kitchen in search of a substitute. he finds it in the freezer - some mint flavor of debbie’s. whatever, it’ll do. 

he slumps in chair at the table, digging in without any real interest. it’s just something to do. 

mickey’s somewhere with sandy - for the sake of his anxiety, ian didn’t ask where - and ian suddenly has no where to be. without a job, there’s no need for him to shower or change, no need for him to feel any real urgency. 

no need for him for much of anything, really. 

lip breezes through the back door with freddie, derailing ian’s pathetic train of thought. ian’s glad to see someone else in the house; he was tired of haunting the place on his own. 

“what’re you up to?”

lip turns to him, settling fred in franny’s old high chair. “need to borrow a ladder,” he says, looking around the kitchen before his gaze settles on the ice cream in front of ian. “rough day?” 

“not really,” ian sighs, pushing the tub forward in invitation. “nothing’s going on. whole lotta nothing.”

lip raises an eyebrow as he sits at the kitchen table. he pulls one of fred’s little spoons from his bag and scoops himself a thimbleful of ice cream. “no luck on the job search, then?”

“not much work for a guy on parole, especially when the world’s ending,” ian answers around a mouthful. “and with the wedding money gone, we’re kinda fucked. mickey keeps scamming his way into cash, but how long can that last?”

“we’ve always scammed cash when we needed it,” lip reminds him. 

ian sighs - yeah, that’s true. but he’d thought, or hoped, maybe, that getting married might force a little security. a change in the way they care for each other. in the way they live together.

“i just don’t wanna have to,” ian tells him. “i don’t want every day to be such a risk, y’know? so fucking sick of prison looming over our heads.”

“i know man, trust me,” lip says, glancing over at fred. “but shit’s just - not normal right now. it won’t be like this forever. we just have to buckle down and do what we gotta do right now.”

ian leans back in his chair and swallows down a spoonful. he looks at lip, who looks back. they sit together in their own uncertainties, the same taste in their mouths. 

4.

it’s quiet when lip pushes into ian and mickey’s apartment. 

he doesn’t like it - there’s usually so much noise in here. mickey shouting about something, ian singing or humming off-key, nieces and nephews running around. 

but today it’s quiet.

ian’s on the couch, fiddling with his phone. he doesn’t look up when lip comes in. he doesn’t grin or wave, he doesn’t snap or tell him to go. he’s quiet. 

mickey called a little while ago, asking lip to come by while he went out for a bit. it’s really not bad, he’d assured him, i think he’ll just want to see you. but it doesn’t look like ian wants much of anything right now. 

“i brought vanilla,” lip announces lowly, and ian finally turns his head to face him. “mickey said your stomach’s not in great shape.” 

“it’s just the new dose,” ian mumbles. “can’t have too much.”

lip sits on the floor by the couch, dropping the ice cream and spoons on the coffee table. when ian makes no move for it, lip opens the tub and holds out a spoon. 

“don’t make me feed you,” lip warns. “i haven’t fed you in like, twenty years, and i think we’re past that.”

“you never fed me,” ian snorts, and lip delights in the sound. maybe it’s really not so bad this time. “i’m barely younger than you.”

“i absolutely did,” he insists. “you can ask fiona. she had to help me, but i definitely did it.”

“whatever, dad,” ian mutters, sitting up slowly and gingerly taking a spoon. he takes just a little bit, but lip watches him smile as the sweetness hits his tongue. neither of them really had a sweet tooth growing up, so these moments together feel extra indulgent now. 

they don’t talk much. there isn’t really anything to solve. there’s no big plan to fix this. it’s just something they have to feel their way through, wading through the quiet. 

“i would, you know,” lip says after a moment. 

“would what?”

“i’d feed you this fucking ice cream,” lip says around a laugh. “if you wanted.”

“oh, fuck off,” ian grumbles, rolling his eyes. then - “i know, asshole.”

5.

ian’s pacing the kitchen when lip finally bursts through the door.

“what’s wrong,” he pants, eyes roaming wildly over ian’s face. “what’s the emergency?”

“i never said there was an emergency,” ian corrects him. “i merely said that i needed you to come over immediately.”

“that implies something very urgent, ian,” lip sighs, throwing himself into a chair at the dining table. 

“this is urgent,” ian agrees. “just - not terrible? i don’t think?”

“what the fuck are you talking about?”

ian plops a carton of ice cream in front of his brother. lip leans forward and peers at the label. 

“is this fucking boysenberry?”

“yeah, they got really weird flavors in this neighborhood. best i could find.”

“well, you do owe me for dragging me over here,” lip says, opening up the ice cream. “what’s going on?”

ian takes a breath, steadying himself for this news. when they got the call, he was so wrapped up in mickey, he thought he’d never untangle himself. they’d spent last night celebrating, planning, and making promises. 

but today - he needs to talk to lip. 

“we’re getting a kid,” ian tells him. “a baby. human.”

“thanks for the clarification,” lip answers dully, before standing and pulling ian into a hug. “holy shit, man!”

“i know,” ian breathes after they’re seated again, “fuck.” 

lip sniffs at the ice cream, and, upon apparently finding it satisfactory, scoops himself a spoonful. ian follows suit, trusting lip’s judgment. it’s alright - it’s different, kind of tart. 

“look at us,” lip laughs, reaching for another bite, “we’re evolving.”

“i don’t think fruit in our ice cream counts as development, man.”

“i’d argue otherwise, but who gives a shit? you’re getting a kid! definitely evolving. how d’you feel? what about mickey?”

“scared shitless, both of us. but - happy? maybe even ready? can you really be ready?”

“sounds about right. you’re as ready as you can be, but then it actually happens and you realize you weren’t ready at all. but you’ll catch up.”

“comforting, thanks.”

lip leans forward, wrapping a hand around ian’s wrist. “you got this, pops. gonna be a great dad.” 

“learned from the best, i guess,” ian laughs, holding out his spoon. “to evolving,” he says when lip clinks his against it. 

+1 

“stop eating all the cookie dough, mickey!”

“stop batting my spoon away, bitch!”

“move the fuck over then, and let me have some.”

“this is my house, tamietti, and my ice cream.”

“pretty sure it’s ian’s, actually, and he’s gonna kill us when he gets back.”

“what’s his is mine, and this is mine.”

“you’re such a drunk idiot - hey!”

tami and mickey look up, stunned, as a giant freckled hand wrenches the ice cream away from them. ian looms over them where they’re huddled around the kitchen island, face thunderous. lip stands behind him, arms crossed over his chest, clearly amused. 

“the fuck, mick? i told you i was saving that for lip!”

“fuck lip,” mickey chuckles, reaching for the ice cream. ian holds it over his head and mickey pouts as it moves out of reach. tami snatches it and inspects what’s left of the pint.

“i’d say we saved you some, but mickey here ate all of the cookie dough in it. so there’s - there’s just vanilla left in here.”

“why are you guys even here?” ian snaps. “you’re supposed to be out tonight.”

“went out,” mickey shrugs. “got drunk, came back.” 

“sorry to interrupt brother night,” tami says, not sounding very sorry at all. “mickey said there were snacks here... so we’re here.”

lip snorts. “sound logic. it’s cool, ian, we’ll just run out for more. or eat this sad cookie dough, it’s fine.”

ian’s chin juts out as he narrows his eyes at his husband. “you’ve been eyeing this ice cream since i brought it home yesterday. was this your plan all along? eat it all before we got back from the movie and hope i wouldn’t notice?”

mickey bites down on a grin. “maybe i was gonna say fiona wanted some.”

“damn, dude,” lip laughs. “you were gonna blame this on your kid?”

“she’s not even here!” ian shouts. “this is a terrible plan!” 

mickey leans over the island, motioning for ian to come closer. “i’ll make it up to you,” he promises. “i’ll make it up to you all night.”

ian nods, considering. mickey’s brand of repentance is pretty enticing. 

“you better. now pass me a fucking spoon.”

[tonguetiedraven]

Please, 😭Konekomaru to Bon with 😬 and panic👄 but then 🗣

completely random but why not

Okay, I went heavy into the sad for this one, with aged the characters up. The main pairing is Bon/Rin with unrequited Konekomaru/Bon.

It's not a happy ending :(

😭unrequited love

😬confessed feelings

👄first kiss

🗣 argument/fighting

— — — — —

Konekomaru should really not be here. Not now, and not like this. Not today of all days. He just…

He couldn’t stay away. He couldn’t stay away and let this happen without being here. He’d been Rin’s friend for a decade, and he’d been Bon’s friend for his entire life. To not be there would be as damning as being there. They wouldn’t know why he was avoiding it, and they’d only see the insult of one of their closest friends ducking away.

Well, someone who had been one of their closest friends. He’d been pulling away for years. Or trying to. He hadn’t done a spectacular job of it. Pulling away was difficult when it was just one friend, but all of his friends tended to hang out together. They were a complicated knot of relationships and incredible loyalties, and to break away from one of them would require breaking away from all of them.

It’s what he intended on doing tomorrow. He’d have today, he’d stay and participate and smile and play the part of best friend, and tomorrow he’d relocate to never see them again. He might send a few letters, perhaps a few phonecalls, but he would leave and he would heal.

And if possible, he’d never see them again. It would be better for everyone.

What he didn’t anticipate was how beautiful everything would be. Shiemi had pulled some sort of magic, and the entire garden was in bloom despite the cooler weather. There were decorations, nothing too extravagant, but they reminded him of younger days when he’d been sitting beside Ryuuji, laughing as they cut intricate patterns in the paper to make their small temple beautiful.

There were a few that were sloppily made, and he could see the touch of Rin all over it.

Konekomaru soldiered on and made it to the inn. Torako greeted him with a kiss to the cheek and a loving hug. Tatsuma, already drunk and gleeful, pulled him into a bear hug and proceed to cry happy tears over his son’s quickly approaching wedding.

“Dad,” and there was the one person Konekomaru had to see, and the one person he couldn’t see. “Let him go,” Ryuuji’s gruff laughed filled the room, almost too happy to bear, “you gotta let him breathe. We still got a lot to do before the wedding.”

“Bon,” he greeted, taking refuge in the collar of Tatsuma’s robe for a moment before facing his friend.

“Alright,” Tatsuma begrudgingly let him go, sniffing happily as he looked at Ryuuji with warm eyes. “I’ll make sure the prayers are in order.”

“Mmhmm,” Ryuuji’s hand dropped on Konekomaru’s shoulder and guided him towards the door. Ryuuji leaned towards his mother, grinning in a conspiring way. “Make sure he drinks a few cups of coffee?”

She patted his cheek. “Of course.”

And that, more than anything else, was a testament to the ‘Rin’ of the day. Ryuuji not yelling over his drunk father. Ryuuji laughing and loving and moving on to other things and trusting that other people would make it okay.

“I’m going to find Renzou,” Konekomaru blurted as soon as they were out the door. “I’ve got to finish some—”

“You’re gonna ditch me again?” Ryuuji’s brown eyes snapped to him, the mirth fading a little in his sudden study. Konekomaru forced his lips up into a smile and shrugged with what he hoped was nonchalance.

“Go find your fiance.” (And, oh, it hurt so much. The gaping hole in his chest, the wound of Ryuuji’s name, etched out in his very being, and oh, this boy was never going to be his no matter how much it hurt.) “I’m sure he’s up to something. Probably in the kitchens.” He managed to laugh instead of cry, and broke away at a pace that was too quick to be anything but a sprint.

Ryuuji let him go. Ryuuji had always let him go. Ryuuji had never stopped him no matter how much Konekomaru might wish he would. It probably never even occurred to the noble aria to try and stop a friend. Not since Renzou had broken part of his heart in school. It had left a lumpy scar in him, and it had made him never cling too tightly. He let them come and go.

Konekomaru forced a smile again and found Renzou hiding from his family by the trees.

“Oh,” the spy muttered, looking thoroughly surprised. “I didn’t expect—”

“It’s tomorrow. I knew I had too…”

Renzou nodded. “Did you tell him?”

“No.”

Renzou didn’t say anything else. He just made space for Konekomaru by the tree. Neither of them had been particularly lucky in love, and there was some comfort to be had in the silent understanding.

—————

He really might have kept silent if it wasn’t for Rin. Though, that could be the tragic story of Konekomaru’s life at this point. If it wasn’t for Rin, a Memoir by a pathetic boy.

Rin was in the kitchen, he really wouldn’t have been anywhere else, and Ryuuji was there too. The ceremony was in half an hour, and there they were, cooking and moving together instead of selfishly hoarding their final minutes. Rin trying to prepare some appetizer while Ryuuji’s arms were wrapped around his waist from behind. He had his chin on his fiance’s shoulder (no matter how many times he thought it, the pain was always a fresh ache in his chest. Like the sensation of being stabbed. Worse than the dull ache of a broken bone or a black eye. This ache bled.) and he was smiling so widely and beautifully, that Konekomaru couldn’t control his face or feet. He fled the room and ran to the room that had once been his.

This had been such a mistake.

Curling into the corner, he pulled his legs against his chest and hid his face in them. The ache was too big to be relieved by tears, and had been for as long as he could remember.

Had there ever been a chance? He had always thought Ryuuji could love him if he’d just been given the chance. If Rin hadn’t swept in while he was still trying to figure out the words, and been everything he wasn’t. Bright, funny, loud, tall, handsome, bold, and brave. If Rin hadn’t, or if Konekomaru had just said the words, maybe they wouldn’t still be lodged in his throat, choking him every day. Maybe he wouldn’t be fleeing from everything he had to try and find peace.

Could he have ever had any of this? Could Ryuuji have loved him? He could have, Konekomaru was certain of that. Ryuuji’s heart wasn’t a cold thing, even if it was scared from how many times it had been broken by life. He could have loved Konekomaru. He could have loved anyone.

(Knowing you could have had someone’s love just made not having it worse. Konekomaru was stuck in the what ifs, and even that wasn’t an escape from the now.)

“Koneko?” The door slid open and Ryuuji stepped quietly in. “You gonna tell what’s going on? Gonna tell me why I had to hear from Renzou that you’re leaving the damn country?”

Konekomaru’s head snapped up in shock. “He told?”

“What the— it’s true?! You’re leaving?!”

Konekomaru struggled to his feet. “What does it even matter?” he demanded as Ryuuji came fully in the room, already in the full robes of the leader of the Myoa Dha. He was dressed for his wedding. He’d have the prayer beads he’d crafted for Rin in his pocket. The beads they’d exchange with their vows.

“What the fuck? Whaddya mean ‘what does it even matter’?! It matters a whole fucking lot! You’re—you can’t just leave!” Ryuuji sucked in a breath, his face crumpling with hurt, and he had been smiling a moment ago. Rin had given him big smiles, and Konekomaru had given him tears. Fitting.

“Of course I can. You don’t need me here.” He motioned towards the window. “The temple is thriving. You and Rin have revived it brilliantly.”

“It wasn’t just us. We need—”

We. It was enough to make him vomit. He had to choke back the rising bile and clench his fist. “You don’t need me, Bon. I’m leaving. It’s already been decided.”

“I don’t,” Ryuuji crossed his arms over his chest in a self hug and stepped back, “I don’t understand. Is this… I know we haven’t had much time together recently, and I’m sorry. It’s… there was a lot to plan with the wedding and expansion. I’ll do better, promise. I’ll—”

“I’m the one that said no when you asked for time together.” Konekomaru gently reminded. He wasn’t supposed to do any of this. He was supposed to sit in the back and witness the ceremony, and he was supposed to leave. Ryuuji was never supposed to see anything weird.

“Then what is it? Why are you leaving? What did I do?”

Ryuuji had existed, and he had been everything Konekomaru ever wanted. He had been loyal and kind, warm and welcoming, a constant spot of comfort in his life of sorrow, the one family he’d always had. When everything else had been uncertain, Ryuuji never had. He couldn’t possibly describe when it had become love for him, because it seemed to have always been just that, and at some point it had stopped being a thing of joy and started to be a thing of pain.

“Nothing.”

Ryuuji shook his head, and the spark of his anger had been triggered. It would be burning brightly soon. “Don’t give me that bullshit.”

It was over. Konekomaru had lost him. He’d lost him ages ago, but now… There was nothing left. Ryuuji would never let it go. He might let Konekomaru go, but he would never stop wondering, and eventually someone would tell. Really, hadn’t Konekomaru been a coward for long enough? His parents had sacrificed their lives for him just a few feet away from this familiar room. If they could be brave enough for that, he could be brave enough for this.

He had loved Ryuuji for too long to allow this unanswered question to hurt him for the rest of their lives.

“Then you want the truth? Whatever it is?”

The color drained from Ryuuji’s face. At least he understood the seriousness of his request now. “Yes.”

Konekomaru swallowed and stared up at Ryuuji’s eyes for another long moment. I love you. He thought a little desperately, and marveled at how hard it still was to say, though it was surely more true now than it had ever been.

“I…”

Ryuuji’s arms dropped a little, and Konekomaru knew what was coming and couldn’t let Ryuuji touch him or he’d never find the courage, so he rushed the words. “I love you.” He choked, his heart throbbing and twisting and surely breaking in his chest as he blurted them again. “I love you, Bon. I—oh god, I love you and I’ve always loved you.”

“What?” It wasn’t the rage he expected, or even the understanding he craved. It was pure confusion, and really, could he have possibly been clearer? What had Rin said when he confessed? How had he phrased it?

(Would the pain stop if he cut out his own heart or would the ache still be there even when he was no longer alive?)

“I love you, Ryuuji. I love you and you just— why is it him? Why is it him and not me?” Ryuuji’s mouth opened and closed a few times, but he didn’t say anything. He looked thunderstruck. Konekomaru had never seen such shock on his face. Not even when Rin had been revealed to them. Not even when Shima had betrayed them — and how fitting was it that he couldn’t remember their faces in those moments, because he’d been looking at Ryuuji?

It was over, and it had never even begun.

And there, in his old room, in the place he had learned to chant with Ryuuji and where he had spent countless nights curled up on his side, aching for the boy in front of him, he let the anger rise. He strode forward, grabbed Ryuuji’s shoulders, and using them for leverage, hoisted himself to Ryuuji’s height. Ryuuji reeled back in shock, but Konekomaru hung on. Rin could have the rest of Ryuuji’s life, but Konekomaru would have this moment.

He pressed their lips together in their first (and final) kiss. It lasted for only a second and tasted of salt from his own tears, and it was wrong and it was everything he’d ever wanted and would never have.

Ryuuji shoved him off and staggered back like he had been stabbed. His hand even went to his chest like it had on that awful day when they hadn’t seen the knife and Rin hadn’t been quick enough, and for a moment there was just blank terror that Ryuuji was going to fall again, but then the terror shifted as realization and cold dread washed over him.

“Now?!”

Konekomaru nodded and braced himself for the cruel words. Please, he thought desperately, let them make me hate you. Let this end.

“You do this now?! You run away and then you come back and tell me this today?! When I’m getting married and I’m—I’ve pledged my life to Rin! You know it— you— years, Konekomaru, you could have— I didn’t need to know this now. If you kept it silent for so—”

Konekomaru clenched his fist and hated himself as Ryuuji stumbled over his words, hurt and anger and confusion lacing each one. Rin would be coming soon. He’d hear Ryuuji’s anger and he’d come running, and Konekomaru couldn’t bear to be here when he arrived.

“That,” he snapped, standing as tall as he could, “is why I’m leaving. I’ve been in love with you my entire life and you never noticed. You never cared—”

“You can’t just pin this on me when you never —”

“I know, and I couldn’t compete with Rin anyway. It was always Rin with you.” He grabbed his bag, grateful he had brought it here, and hefted it over his shoulder. “You’ll understand why I can’t stay. I wish you all the happiness.” That you’d never have with me.

He darted forward and tried not to notice Ryuuji flinch away from him like he’s a wild and dangerous animal.

The ceremony was starting outside. The monks had gathered and the chants were already rising. He was meant to join them, to represent the Miwas in this sacred ceremony, and there was no possible way he could. The words were no longer clogging his throat, but the wound they left behind was raw, and he knew there was only one word he’d be able to say, and it was never going to be his to say. (It was only Rin’s name to say. It had always been Rin’s.)

In a different life, Konekomaru was sure they could have made it work. He was sure the chants rising through the air would have been for them, and not Rin. He was certain that Ryuuji would have held his hand and they would have grown old here together. The head of the Myoa Dha and his loyal monk. The last of both their lines, finding a new purpose joined together. In another life, he would bring Ryuuji those smiles, and Ryuuji would give him hope.

But in this one, Konekomaru left the temple without another glance back. He wouldn’t have been able to see it through his tear blurred eyes anyway.

[sharkpupsblog]

😳 Call Me Maybe 🤭

A Katja x GN! Reader fanfic! (With lyrics from a classic…. Call Me Maybe by Carly Ray Jepsen)

WOOOOOO!!!! A 3rd fic for this silly!!! 🗣🐴 and another song fic 😳😳😳 been very inspired by songs lately! I hope u guys enjoy!! :D and huge Ty to everyone who reads my silly little fanfics it means so much to me!!! Anyways 😳 enjoy! 😳🐴

I threw a wish in the well Don't ask me, I'll never tell

Katja recently got a new phone. She had never had a phone before she did not see a reason for spending money on one. Because she didn’t have a phone finding her was hard when she was away from the Dark Core HQ and Sands got tired of only having two dark riders to send on missions, so he got Katja a phone. Katja learnt how to use her phone thanks to Jay, Sabine and Chiyo teaching her all about the stupid thing. She got their numbers as well as the one to Sands office and she headed out for the day with her phone on 50%. She rode around the valley of the hidden dinosaur and Mortifa got spooked when she heard a notification from Katja’s phone “what was that?” the mare stopped walking turning her head to the noise and Katja pat her comforting her. “it’s a phone it’s a thing I can use to communicate with people” Katja watched as Mortifa’s ears perked up “communicate with people?” she asked and Katja answered “yes” she was dry with her reply. Mortifa then pawed at the snow below her “maybe…you can use it to communicate with the soul rider you have taken a liking to?”

I looked to you as it fell And now you're in my way

After Mortifa had made that suggestion Katja went beet red and told her mare to be quiet. The two continued their ride around the valley not saying anything more. But while Mortifa walked Katja thought about what her mare had said.

I trade my soul for a wish Pennies and dimes for a kiss

When Katja and Mortifa got back to the oil rig Katja led her mare back to her stall making sure the horse was alright before going to her room. Once in her room Katja sat on her bed hugging her knees to her chest her phone laying in front of her. Maybe…she should try and get your number? She blushed looking away from the phone she knew what asking for your number meant she saw it in the horrible romance movie channels that Sands would not let anyone switch. She could not ask you for it what if you responded in disgust? What if you chased her away? She could not deal with that. But you were nice…at least you seemed so since you were always helping people running all around Jorvik always helping. The worst you could do was say no so she told herself she would try and ask you tomorrow. Katja got up she put her phone to charge, and she changed into her pjs laying down she went to sleep dreaming about how she would ask you for your number tomorrow.

I wasn't looking for this But now you're in my way

In the morning Katja went to Moorland she stood at the lighthouse she was looking for you gathering the courage to ask you while she looked for you. She couldn’t go into the stables because Justin would recognize her and would most likely chase her away and she didn’t want more conflict for today, so she just stayed outside the stables waiting. She sat on the steps of the lighthouse watching little moving pictures she learnt were ‘gifs’ that Chiyo was sending her. After the fifth horse gif Chiyo sent her Katja got bored she looked up and she saw you she stood up and she took a deep breath in. she can do this! She walked forward and you rode down the trail randomly stopping she stopped too confused to why you stopped then she saw Alex and a red-haired girl riding behind you so she turned around and decided she could talk to you tomorrow plus her phone was on 20% it was about to die she should charge it.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe It's hard to look right at you, baby But here's my number, so call me, maybe

It was Tuesday now and Katja was back in Moorland sitting in the same spot this time with Mortifa the mare grazed while Katja waited occasionally looking at Mortifa so she wouldn’t wander off and get hurt. The mare walked to Katja following the sound of the notifications from her phone and the scent of vanilla and cinnamon. she laid down next to Katja the woman thought she was about to roll but Mortifa just wanted to lay too tired to roll and she had her tack on she spoke “have you seen them?” she knew of Katja’s plan. Katja groaned “no not yet” her brows furrowed she had been waiting for a while. Mortifa laid her head on Katja’s lap and Katja allowed it giving Mortifa a pat “I don’t think they’re here today we should leave.” Katja looked down at Mortifa when the mare let out a snort her ears going back “you can rest” she knew Mortifa was angry because she wanted to lay for a while. The mare closed her eyes and Katja stayed sitting not wanting to disturb Mortifa.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe

It was Wednesday and Katja was back at the lighthouse once again with Mortifa. The mare had no tack on today, so she was rolling enjoying the warm sun and the cold grass that froze under her. While Mortifa rolled Katja waited and Chiyo was sending her gifs again this time of ducks doing odd things like going down slides into pools of water. She moved out of the way when Mortifa stood up not wanting to bump into the mare and scare her. Mortifa turned her head sharply her ears high and her nose high in the air as well “they’re here” she said, and she lowered her head “go talk to them I will wait here for you.” Katja let out a shaky sigh she was nervous why was she so nervous? She was a powerful dark rider and witch she should fear nothing. When she saw you coming around the trail, she gathered courage and started walking but she was suddenly stopped by her phone ringing she took it out of the thigh pocket on her leggings and she answered the call. Sands wanted her in Hollow woods to stop soul riders from destroying a dark core machine she told him she would be there. She hung up putting her phone back in her pocket and she rubbed her temples annoyed she called for Mortifa she got on the mare, and she rode to hollow woods.

I beg and borrow and steal At first sight, and it's real I didn't know I would feel it But it's in my way

Maybe not being able to talk to you was a sign from Garnok? Maybe she should quit this and give up?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe

Mortifa felt Katja’s insecurity, and she spoke wanting to comfort her rider. “We can always try again tomorrow” the mare said, and she kept galloping “we’ve had a bit of bad luck, but we shouldn’t give up” Katja groaned telling Mortifa to be quiet. The mare listened and she continued running guided by Katja feeling bad about overstepping, but she stopped when Katja gave her two pats. Even though Katja was a bit rude Mortifa knew Katja cared about her and Mortifa cared for her too.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe

It was Friday now. Katja did not bother trying on Thursday and she was not trying today either she was in Fort Pinta on babysitting duty. She sat on a beach towel under the shade of a beach umbrella Mortifa laid next to her flicking imaginary flies away with her tail. The mare was half in the shade and half in the sun she liked the warmth but not enough to have it cover her whole body. The mare’s ears perked up as she heard Chiyo telling Katja to “watch this!” Mortifa then heard a splash, and she assumed the girl jumped in the water.

Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad I missed you so bad, I missed you so, so bad

Katja was standing by the water now a bucket in hand Chiyo was making her hold it. She held the bucket out for Chiyo when the girl came running up to her with seashells “what do you want these for?” Katja questioned Chiyo. The girl dumped the shells into the bucket “just to collect them!” she looked back at the water they were in the little beach area that was reserved from the rest of the beach it was safe there. “Why don’t you get in the water with me? You can help me look for shells!” Katja shook her head “if I touch the water, it will freeze you know this” Chiyo frowned remembering that Katja froze everything she touched she felt bad for her. The girl then came up with a joke “maybe we can bring a blow dryer next time and melt away all the ice” she looked up at Katja smiling at her and Katja rolled her eyes “you’re so annoying” even though she said that she smiled too she cared for Chiyo and saw her as a very annoying little sister. She watched as the girl ran back into the water.

Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad And you should know that I missed you so, so bad

Katja looked away for a second and when she looked back Chiyo was building a sandcastle with another girl her age. The girl had two pigtails and she wore a swimsuit with a tutu above it which Chiyo complimented. Katja was a bit uneasy, but she let Chiyo play with the girl Mortifa was up now standing by Katja she spoke “is her guardian with her?” Katja answered the mare “no she’s all alone we should find her guardian.” Mortifa lowered her head making it look like she was messing with the sand below her and not talking “maybe you should scold them too for losing her.” Katja walked to Chiyo and the girl she asked the girl where her guardian was, and the girl went wide eyed realizing she lost her babysitter. Chiyo was about to suggest finding the babysitter she opened her mouth but before she could speak, she was stopped by someone yelling “Madison!” Katja, Chiyo and the girl all looked up as you and your horse came running to find the girl. Madison smiled and looked to Chiyo and Katja “they’re right there!” she stood up waving and you ran to her not seeing who she was with yet. Chiyo stood up hiding behind Katja and Katja blushed should she ask for your number? Should she walk away to avoid conflict? What should she do?

It's hard to look right at you, baby But here's my number, so call me, maybe

You got to Madison checking her making sure she was alright, and you told her to never stray from you again your horse also checked her sniffing her making the girl laugh. You looked up going to thank the person who found Madison and you stopped when you saw white hair your smile fading then you fully looked up seeing Katja and from behind her peeked Chiyo “Katja? What are you doing here?” you felt threatened “did you do anything to Madison? I swear if yo-“ Madison interrupted you “she didn’t do anything! She found me and I played with my friend Chiyo!” she looked back at Katja and Chiyo waved from behind her. You quickly felt awful Katja was just here doing the same as you trying to have a normal day babysitting you frowned “I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have been so aggressive”. You watched as Chiyo felt safe and she walked from behind Katja asking Madison to play when she said yes, the two girls ran into the water to swim. Katja swallowed she was nervous, and she realized she had not said anything she had just been standing there she blushed again embarrassed “it’s fine” she quickly spoke “we’re leaving anyways you can have the beach” she turned to call Chiyo back, but you stopped her “wait! Please I seriously am sorry please stay let the girls play” Katja looked back to you unsure. You saw the look on her face, and you tried to be friendly so she would not feel threatened “maybe we can sit down and talk while we watch them?”

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad I missed you so bad, I missed you so, so bad

Katja accepted your offer and she stayed at the beach watching Chiyo play with Madison. You sat next to her on a beach towel your horse behind you eating with Mortifa from a huge fruit cup you bought them. You looked to Katja “is she your little sister?” Katja shook her head “she’s the fourth general” you went wide eyed in surprise “oh…she’s so young though?” Katja nodded and frowned “we know”. Katja decided to open up to you only telling you this because she knew that if you told anyone else, she said this they would never believe you “she’s just like us we didn’t ask to be dark riders but she’s years younger than us she’s just a child” Katja looked down at the sand “we take turns babysitting her we take her riding, to parks or here to the beach to swim” she looked to you expecting you to look disinterested but you were genuinely listening. Katja continued speaking “we want her to have somewhat of a normal childhood” she shrugged “It’s a bit stupid but-“ you interrupted her “no” she was shocked by your interruption but she let you talk “it’s not stupid at all it’s really sweet” you smiled at her and she felt butterflies “you’re a good big sister” you used a corner of your towel to cover your hand and you nudged her. Katja blushed looking away from you not saying anything she went back to watching Chiyo.

Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad And you should know that

The sun was setting now the beach was getting cold and the water was now cold and not very enjoyable to swim in. Chiyo and Madison were out of the water sharing a plate of fries with ketchup which your horse was also trying to eat but they pushed your horse away laughing whenever they tried to eat a fry. The girls had their towels on their shoulders to keep them warm while they ate their fries and tried to stop your horse from eating them. When they finished the last fries Katja told Chiyo it was time to go the girl stood up walking over to Katja and Mortifa. Chiyo waved sadly at Madison and Madison waved back with the same emotion she was upset that her friend was leaving too. You noticed the looks and you smiled walking over to Katja “do you think Chiyo might be available for a playdate next week? I am babysitting Madison again next Friday and Chiyo seemed to have a lot of fun so…” as soon as Chiyo heard that she looked up at Katja “please!” she begged putting her hands together “please Katja!” The woman looked down at Chiyo and she huffed when Mortifa gently nudged her to convince her to arrange a playdate for Chiyo. “What time?” Katja looked up at you and you got your phone out of your pocket ��how about I give you, my number? That way we can plan it and call if one of us has to cancel”. Katja was freaking out on the inside but managed to remain calm on the outside Mortifa nudged Katja again excited for her rider and Katja got her phone from her pocket too the two of you exchanged numbers and once that was done you said your goodbyes and went on your separate ways. Katja walked down the trail to Moorland with Mortifa and Chiyo she led the mare down the trail. Chiyo was on Mortifa’s back the girl was asleep, and she was covered by towels to keep her safe. Mortifa neighed happily “you did it!” she cheered for Katja “I knew you could!” Katja rolled her eyes and she told Mortifa to be quiet she then gave the horse two pats and Mortifa let out a happy neigh walking side by side with her rider.

❤️ So call me maybe 🤭

AHHH TYSM FOR READING HAHAHA HOPE U ENJOYED :D ❤️🐴🐴🐎🐎❤️

[gardenerian]

Do you think that Ian's bipolar disorder is portrayed accurately?

hello and welcome to loaded fuckin question hour with mel! actually, ty for asking this anon, it's been a while since i talked about this. lemme add my usual disclaimer here - i can only speak to my own experience/opinion/understanding. anyone else is welcome to chime in.

the short answer is......... yeah? mostly? it's complicated?

you know what, this is me and there is no short answer. sorry 'bout that.

so. largely yes and here's why:

there's a wide range of symptoms present. we see differences in how it manifests in monica vs ian - and how their personalities map onto that. ian might act in a way that seems out of character, but he's still ian. i can't tell you how important that is.

ian (and probably monica as well) tends to lean towards hypo/mania when he's off his meds or when they weaken, etc. especially with monica in s2 and ian in s4/s5, they shine here. the relentlessness of it. the need to move and feel and rage and indulge and make and do and destroy. and i like that it's not always euphoric mania, bc it usually doesn't feel that way to me. the agitation and impulsive reaction is kinda my wheelhouse there. the psychosis - i kinda can't thank cam enough for that portrayal.

i wish the depressive symptoms were a little more nuanced sometimes, but... the crash is real. and it can turn on a dime. the absolute lead in your veins. the feeling of grief you can't explain, like you can't even speak it. the varying levels of self harm. and i think ian's s6 depression is incredibly accurate as well. he's listless in a way that feels very familiar.

and the moments of lucidity, where he can tell something's wrong but can't name it, or he's afraid to. monica has it, too. they scare themselves. and the fear everyone else feels. unflinchingly real.

with that comes the feelings of shame, before and after his diagnosis. the idea that he can't trust himself or his brain, that he needs help, that something was wrong the whole time - even when he was feeling good. the fact that it's forever and it's cyclical. coming to terms with his actions, forgiving himself, reckoning with himself. fucking up, trying again. setback after setback, redemption after redemption.

the journey with meds - knowing you need them, staying on them, finding the right ones. HEALTHCARE!!! what resources do you have access to? what care can you afford? if his hospitalization had been a better experience, how could the journey have been different? and the self-medicating... i would have liked more on this! but we see it plain as day from him and monica.

the way his whole body changes? from s3 where he's sturdy and confident to the end of s5, where he's hunched over, thin, and shaking. it can absolutely wreak havoc on your body. he even starts to hold himself differently in the s8 episode. and i'll never shut up about cam's eyes.

the strain on your relationships - the breakup, the tensions with his siblings, the trevor of it all, moments with sue and rita. it changes your perception of yourself, and influences how others see you. even if they don't mean to, and even if they're kind about it, it's there. THEN you are hyperaware of how you think others might be seeing you - paranoia definitely comes through with ian.

ian has his own journey with the disorder, but so does his family. they each come to understand what it means and how it affects ian. it's less of a death sentence than they assumed it was with monica. they kinda make peace with that experience and turn their focus to their brother. and mickey! from not needing the list to recognizing triggers!!!! he does so much. he learns so much.

and one thing i think is incredibly special is the idea of kinship. ian does not want to be viewed as monica, but he still understands her in a way the others don't. he loves her in a way they perhaps can't. it's not just about the disorder, but it brings them back together. he fears her and distrusts her - but still, he loves her. my bipolar family members, though i have fraught relationships with them, are huge parts of my heart. my bipolar mutuals.... deeply special bc they see me and i see them. i always wonder what monica must have felt about ian's disorder. (we know how she felt about medication, but.... more about what happened when he called her from prison, please?)

and then we have... not always? or not in the way i'd like and here's why:

it sometimes feels like the disorder disappears until they need it for a plot point. it’s about the episodes a lot of the time. bipolar is largely managed with medication and lifestyle maintenance, but even when i'm stable (whatever that means), it still impacts my moods. i still feel everything so much all the time and i am aware of it every single day. stable means something different to everyone - my baseline still leans toward depressed. 7x03/11x04 do show that you can have off days without it being a full-blown episode. idk how they would have worked that into the show more, bc it doesn't do much for the ~storylines~ but it would show us more about ian. plus - what is his treatment method? what about the work? is he only on meds? (it seems so, but i'd love more about how he figured out what works for him...) we see such a journey with him accepting the diagnosis but then he comes out and says 'i have it under control' and i'm like!! how!! tell me more please!!!!!!

on that note, the meds thing. i love that they show ian taking his meds casually. but every time he gets a little off kilter, they jump to the meds question immediately. sometimes symptoms slip through, sometimes you have little cycles - and that does not mean that your meds are off or that you have to rush to the clinic every time. idk, it doesn't come up that often (it may be more of a fic thing? i have a lot of fic things.) but i noticed it in the deleted scene and was like asldfjkdhasfasd

the s8 storyline bothered me not bc he went off his meds or that he had an episode... but bc it was made into a mockery. look at this wacky shit ian is up to! it's so superficial. we are made to read between the lines about ian and his headspace and it! is! lazy! religious delusions are quite common, and i kinda think it makes sense for him, but the genesis (lol) of it is not fleshed out well at all. we even see some religious imagery right at his s5 break but... we didn't see ian in here at all. delving into his hero complex and actual motivations, his awareness of himself, when he stopped the meds, WHY the message spoke to him.... it could have been really powerful, actually.

it's like. they decided halfway through that he was gonna be manic or something. i can (and did!) meta my way through it and look for the rise but... GOD. we got no explicit confirmation that he was off his meds until that trial? we wouldn't even need that, actually, if they just gave us more of his perspective. i got NOTHING from looking at ian. s4/s5 gave us more glimpses of his headspace and how he notices it sometimes (not enough, but more), but s8.... there's nothin. cam did what he could - those eyes! - but it was just flat. which.... for a manic episode.... yikes.

the SCALE of it sometimes bothers me. yes! these episodes can be deep and long and destructive like we see with both monica and ian. of course. but like... so often, when they get manic or depressed, it's always🚨crisis level, real quick🚨 like steal a baby, do some porn, blow up a van, ruin thanksgiving, become totally catatonic, etc. and again! it can absolutely get like that!! bipolar gets worse as it goes untreated! but they definitely employ it for the drama and little else.

like. for me, episodes are dangerous and i have to catch them of course, but just bc i'm manic or depressed doesn't mean it's going to get to that level every single time, even if i'm off my meds. i've done 🚨🚨🚨 stuff, but more often than not, i go totally inward when i'm having an episode rather than act out. this is just my experience, of course. just- this is a LONG WINDED way of saying that idk, yes the crisis moments are realistic as hell, but i personally can't relate to the frequency of them. if that makes sense?

SO: yes. accurate. but... maybe exaggerated in some places? and put through the lens of shameless which distorts a lot of things. absolutely exacerbated by the gallagher family circumstances, history, ethos, and (lack of) resources....

🗣 SHUT UP MEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!