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sylver-drawer · 4 years ago

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... I ranted in discord again, and it turned out to be an essay. So here’s another Syl Tea, let’s fight.

Spoon Deviating from the Novel’s Plotline

Readers have been complaining for a while. It started in the amnesia arc, and still continues on to current times. Complaining, insulting, begging and begging, all for Spoon to stop changing the story.

But it’s been getting worse recently, the complaining comments shouting louder than those of praise and positive reinforcement, and I’m sick of it.

Part One: The Source Novel

Suddenly Became a Princess One Day (SBAPOD) was a novel written by Plutus. That is what Who Made Me a Princess (WMMAP)’s source material. In the story, Lee Ji Hye after taking too many sleeping pills one day, transmigrates into the world of a novel called, ‘The Lovely Princess’ (TLP). In TLP, it features two heroines. One is the main heroine, Jennette, who was loved and adored by all. With her sunny and angelic disposition, she melted the icy cold heart of her father, the emperor, Claude De Alger Obelia.

The girl, the baby she had reincarnated into however, was the second heroine, Athanasia De Alger Obelia. In TLP, Athanasia was born from Claude and a concubine named Diana. She grew up unloved by her father in the ruby palace, the palace of concubines where Claude had commit a genocide. She met had briefly met her father when she was nine, and had become obsessed with him and trying to earn his love and affections. Those affections, however, went to her half sister Jennette, who was introduced at the debutante.

TLP ended with Athanasia getting executed for a crime she did not commit. Jennette had been poisoned by her aunt and fell into a coma, and Claude had immediately blamed Athanasia for it. Without an investigation, he had killed her. It was then revealed that Jennette’s aunt, Rosalia, was the perpetrator, in which Claude had reacted with no remorse. Rosalia went unpunished, and Claude had forgotten Athanasia’s existence as if she had just been a fly he had swatted. The only one who mourned and grieved over Athanasia, was Jennette.

Lee Jihye refused to die again. Her actions, however, as the reborn Athanasia, had led to somehow gaining the affections of her father. SBAPOD had ended with Jennette being exiled for being the product of black magic and an unintentional threat to the royal family, leaving Athanasia to live in a Happily Ever After ending with her father and magician lover, Lucas.

I’m going to have to say a very unpopular opinion within the fandom. Plutus is a terrible writer. And I don’t mean by skills in writing. Plutus cannot... write a good story. Taking example from their other works, Beware Of The Brothers (BOTB) which takes place in the same universe as SBAPOD. Hari, who had went back in time, spent half of the story trying to fix her relationship with her adoptive brothers. As she was severely neglected and downright abused by her step brothers in her previous life,s he strived to be accepted as their family.

It seems nice right? A story of a girl trying to improve her relationship with her family. She eventually succeeds, and her brothers defend her and call her their precious sister.

But here’s the catch. She marries one. Yes, marries her brother, and another one of her brothers also fall for her. If that wasn’t bad enough, she’s the carbon copy of their dead sister. She was adopted for the sole reason of looking exactly like their sister, who had died. That was why their parents took her in. The eldest son, the eldest brother, fell in love with a girl who he had abused and neglected in the past out of jealousy and childish hate, a girl who looks exactly like his dead sister. What’s even worse? Hari chose her elder brother, someone who abused and neglected her in the past for no reason, over a sweet guy who she was actually engaged to. When half of the story was about being seen as their family, acknowledged as their sister.

But I digress, this post isn’t about BOTB.

Plutus is a bad writer. They have countless issues in SBAPOD as well. For example, characters. Plutus cannot for the life of them, build and develop their main characters, nor can they write a stable plot.

Let’s give an example. Lee Jihye as Athanasia does not... develop. For context, Lee Jihye was an orphan in korea. She grew up alone and had to fend for herself for her whole life. This premise is common, but can be interesting if well done. SBAPOD falls under the reincarnation category of, ‘their past life has no impact’. By this, I mean, none of the characteristics from her life as Lee Jihye carry over to her life as Athanasia. It was fine in the beginning, when she strived to survive no matter the cost. For someone who was struggling by herself in Korea, of course she was greedy and hyper focused on survival and having back up plans. She was flawed, but human.

This changes. For someone who had to grow up alone and fend for herself, the moment she gets too comfortable? That doesn’t matter anymore. All of her instincts, gone. When Claude gets amnesia and threatens, humiliates, and almost kills her—

She comes back. She comes back to the man who has tried, and she knows is the most capeable from reading TLP, to kill her. You don’t need to be an orphan to know that if someone is trying to kill you, you run and never look back. Even before then, her instincts have completely faded. Claude had taken a liking to her so she can live comfortably now, but who knows what would happen? In the modern world, especially for people of low income, money and wealth can easily fade away. She never once checked on her secret stash of gold and precious items, was never conscious or had any struggle of the ‘what if Claude turns around and tries to kill me earlier’.

It was as if her life experience of orphan Lee Jihye only mattered for when she came back to claude because she’s never had a family.

See, Plutus has this constant theme in their work of, ‘there is no such thing as found family’. I’ve explained a bit of it before in my post about the theme of WMMAP, about Family Bonds. This is prevalent in all of Plutus’ work. Beyond Jennette’s naivety, TLP Athanasia had the exact same mindset because she wasn’t alone. Lily. Lily was her caretaker, her nanny, who loved her the most out of anyone in this world. Yet Athanasia craved for the love of someone who hated her, and paid no mind to love of the woman who raised her like her daughter. Because there is no such thing as found family in Plutus’ work.

Plutus is not a very good writer, as they can’t write a well developed story. It isn’t just a fault in Athanasia’s character, it’s also a fault in all of the characters in Plutus’ work. Claude, Ijekiel, Lucas—their purpose in SBAPOD was solely to benefit the main character, Athanasia. Claude never developed. He remained as he was in TLP, an emperor who threatens his people for the simplest things. Just because he’s kind to Athanasia, doesn’t mean he’s changed. This was proven in the novel’s amnesia arc, as the moment he lost memory of Athanasia, he immediately threatened to kill her. And when she returned? He threatened to kill everyone at the festival if she ran away again. There was no development in his character. His character is just to give Athanasia a reason to stay. Same with Ijekiel, who was never truly explored other than the fact he was the ‘princely’ second love interest for Athanasia. We didn’t know his drive, his reasons, his interests his character. All his traits are, ‘princely’ and ‘loves Athanasia’. Lucas is in the same category. Lucas, the almighty powerful magician, solves all of Athanasia’s problems. Athanasia is afraid fo Claude dying? Gives him immortality, which coincidentally returned his memories. Aeternitas is the villain and has been causing Athanasia and Claude pain this whole time? Just kill him, and he’s no longer a problem. Jennette has a mental breakdown because her whole world has been torn apart and her magic burst is a threat? Takes her magic away, and would have killed her had Athanasia not told him to spare her life. Lucas had solved all of Athanasia’s problems, and inadvertently prevented Athanasia from improving.

The side stories in SBAPOD had solidified the ‘everyone was made to make the main characters look better’, as the whole timeline had become scewed because Plutus had added information that didn’t make sense. Backstories and changing characters to the point where they didn’t even seem like the characters Plutus had wrote earlier in the story. Claude and Diana’s whole backstory revealed in the side stories at the end was made just to justify Claude’s horrible actions and make him look better. Diana, who was a dancer sold to Claude and became his concubine, suddenly had a tragic and downright depressing backstory. And apparently Claude saved her from it when he still was engaged to Penelope? Even though they met after he killed Anastacious and Penelope had escaped? And it tried to justify his genocide of the ruby palace, by saying some concubines poisoned Diana which was why she died—even though it was revealed earlier on that Athanasia’s mana killed Diana. And it still didn’t justify Claude killing everyone in the ruby palace, the concubines he himself kept and let live there as well as the countless servants, just because a few supposedly poisoned Diana.

Plutus was a bad writer, who wrote a poorly developed novel, and fans bash Spoon for not following it.

Part Two: Spoon’s Character Development

While finally on the topic of Spoon, let’s start what this post was supposed to be about before I got off topic.

Spoon is often ‘criticized’ (ie, my posts on criticism and suggestions) for changing the story to the point it’s apparently ‘boring’ and ‘not making Lucas strong’ (and yes, specifically Lucas, my dears).

When really, Spoon has... improved WMMAP? Especially in the most recent chapters? From a development standpoint in comparison. People have been saying it’s been really slow, which is understandable, but isn’t it because we get updates once to twice a month? When you binge read it, it’s not that slow. For readers who read it the moment it comes out, it feels slow because you take days and weeks between chapters.

But, especially now when the plot has actually sped up significantly, people call it boring? More boring than season one where all Athanasia and Claude did was have tea parties? I mean think about it.

In SBAPOD, Athanasia never had a proper interaction with the villain. Bad things kept happening, but Athanasia never really had a direct confrontation with the one causing all of her problems. If I remember correctly, she never questioned it either. When you think about, Athanasia, other than Claude, never had any struggles. No internal conflict, no doubts or worries, and no questions despite her past as Lee Jihye. And when she did, Lucas took care of it.

But in WMMAP, everything is happening at once. Claude is in a critical condition, Athanasia has to temporarily take over and confront the nobles, and in the middle of it all, the villain makes his dramatic entrance in front of everyone. And for the first time in a long time, Athanasia has to think about how to survive and protect not just herself, but others. And if she doesn’t think it through, she will lose everything.

And that? That in itself is an extreme improvement. The problem isn’t just between her and one person like when Claude had amnesia. This issue potentially involves and impacts everyone in obelia. Athanasia can’t worry about and stay in her little bubble of protection now. She’s forced to learn, because Claude is in critical condition.

Athanasia is actually preparing to learn how to rule a kingdom when she never did in the novel. Never, did she have to confront the nobles by herself. Even in her debutante, Claude had to threaten a crowd for staring at the only princess as she debuts, before even taking the first step. And Athanasia never needed to learn politics. The magic branch made her dad immortal so she never needed to learn. Which means, Athanasia never grew or improved as a character. She remained the same as when she reincarnated into the infant Athanasia.

Spoon even improved Athanasia’s connection with her peers. She seldom connected with the other noble girls, and never had anyone she was close to other than Lucas. But because of the whole Amnesia arc in WMMAP? She has Jennette now. Jennette, who in the novel she perceived as uncomfortable and a mild threat, is now one of her only friends that she regularly wrote to. Athy, who didn’t care about anyone else outside of her little bubble, has people to protect and fight for. Her character is already miles ahead of what Plutus had made her, and it’s because of Spoon.

And it’s not just Athanasia getting focus and development.

In SBAPOD, no one, minus Claude and Athanasia, was explored at all. The villains were shallow, the side characters were there only to add more to the main characters and were never expanded upon as people.

But in WMMAP? Ijekiel is having more drive and isn’t just a character meant to be Athy’s second love interest anymore, despite how he was for majority of the story. He had addressed and established his character of wordlessly obeying his father early on, and the novel never dealt with that. But now? He openly expressed bitterness to his father’s plan. And he’s currently going out of his way to tell Felix what’s been happening, essentially backstabbing his brainwashed father and risking possibly being labeled as a traitor for harboring a threat. This little change that Spoon made had already improved Ijekiel’s character. Because he isn’t just there, he has his own motives and thought process, like an actual human would.

Aeternitas who was the sole villain and’s only purpose was ‘Lucas look at me’ was changed almost completely to a villain that has depth. Anastacious, who actually has motivation and reasons why to be such a big villain has more development than Claude.

Spoon’s new character having more development than Claude already shows what a good writer she is—because Claude’s doing exactly what he’s done in the novel, what Plutus wrote for him. It’s lazy writing, but putting Claude in a coma is one of the best ways Spoon could have continued the plot. He has no character development left. He loves Athy again, so bringing his memory back right away completely contradicts the whole amnesia arc. The amnesia’s whole point was so that it could display that he doesn’t need his memories to loves his daughter (which I personally still think is badly written because TLP contradicts this). He can’t become less of a jerk because that’s literally the base of his character—his murderous demeanor towards everyone was a plot point Plutus permanently set into his character and can’t be changed without changing Claude’s character entirely. Spoon can’t work with the Claude Plutus created at all, so she made the best choice of sending him asleep to move the development of the others.

Lucas? Instead of everyone else gaining characteristics, she took away points where his character had to display his ‘almighty-ness’.

And that? That’s the best thing she could have done to a character who Plutus had set up as an ‘all powerful’ wizard. He was renowned as a great and powerful wizard in the history books, but in reality, he’s just a talented kid. He’s not godlike. He’s not the strongest in the world. And that’s good. We’ve already established how talented he is in magic, season one already proved that.

Compare Lucas to Gandalf from LotR. Gandalf was renouned as one of the strongest wizards, and displayed his power, but he wasn’t almighty nor did he ever help Frodo on on his mission. He was a guide, but never the answer. But that didn’t mean he was useless, and we never thought of him as that. He didn’t need to help the main character with their problems for us to know what good of a character he was. In the end, Frodo did his duty, solved his own problems himself despite how small and weak he was without Gandalf’s (or any of his comrades assistance). Did it make Gandalf weak because he didn’t throw the ring for Frodo? No. That’s the kind of Lucas we needed, not some Deus Ex Machina like in SBAPOD.

We don’t need Spoon to show us more of something we already knew, and Spoon knows that. And he is getting development, and people are so blind to see it. Even in the most recent chapters, it’s right there.

It’s Athanasia verbally telling him, ‘killing won’t solve anything’ to his immediate response to just kill the villain, which attributes to development for both her and Lucas. It’s small, but you have to treat him like a child. Because emotionally, he was deprived of growth. You have to tell him straight out what’s wrong, and Athanasia did that. And she’s still changing him. Athanasia trying so hard for Claude, and Athanasia confessing her knowledge of Jennette being her cousin and not doing anything to endanger her— those little actions are making Lucas see the importance of family. Someone who was deprived of a healthy family, someone who was abandoned by their only father figure, this is incredibly important. And people label this as useless?

Part Three: The Reader’s Backlash to Spoon

Spoon has single handedly given nearly everyone development, and people refuse to see it because other Manwha and SBAPOD had ruined them and heightened their expectations. That’s why they take it out on Spoon, the outlier. The exception. They take it out on the artist/co-writer/current writer of the story for not living up to the story others have created.

It really makes me wonder how the fandom would be if no one was spoiled and just read WMMAP like it was supposed to be read—by not being spoiled and just enjoying the story without having ruined expectations from something else.

But it’s not Spoon’s problem, it’s theirs. Because the moment they comment about how [Spoon] has ruined the story? That’s where no sympathy is given. Because the problem was never Spoon. It was the disappointment of their expectations, and taking it out on an amazing person who’s trying their best. And they? They don’t even care what they do to Spoon’s health. Those repeated comments of ‘Spoon made this story trash’, and, ‘Spoon made X character useless’ can seriously damage someone’s mental health. If not, severely stress someone who’s already placed under countless deadlines but still provides quality art every 10-20 days. They have no concern over Spoon, because as long as they get what they want due to the expectations set by other Manwhas and the Manwha community? Spoon could die for all they care. As long as they get what they want, what they were spoiled of? Who cares what Spoon wants.

It’s tiring and frustrating as an artist and writer who can hardly pick up my Apple Pencil and get the motivation to do what I love. To berate Spoon so badly because of their selfishness? When Spoon does so much more than what any of us could ever imagine to do? It’s entitlement, and just rude. And what’s worse? Spoon will never bend to them, but will still see those comments. She won’t change the story to their tastes, but her health will still be impacted. She’ll still know that her readers? Hate what she’s doing, what she loves to do. No ones going to win. No one will be satisfied, and their complaints won’t help anyone. It’s pointless, and incredibly sad.

Spoon doesn’t deserve this, and we aren’t entitled to anything. Our opinions are pointless, and that’s the truth. We have no say at all in what happens in the story. You paid money for it, you chose to read the story knowing that Spoon won’t give you what you want.

The company is promoting slips of color. You know you’re getting a color, and you want a specific color. Are you gonna take it out on the company for getting red in the mystery box when you wanted gold? When you know the chances of getting gold is nearly impossible? When gold was never guaranteed, and the company stated that there wouldn’t just be gold in the box? That’s what’s happening. You paid for it knowing you’ll disappoint yourself, you made the decision to spend money on something you don’t need. And you made the decision to bully Spoon for what you did to yourself.

#who made me a princess #wmmap #suddenly became a princess one day #sbapod #wmmap athanasia #wmmap jennette #wmmap lucas #wmmap ijekiel #syl tea

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moonyblackwerewolf · 4 years ago

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Betrothed Ch. 4 - Sirius Black

Betrothed Ch. 4

Sirius Black x fem!Reader

Word count: 4.7k

Summary: Sirius and Y/N meet at a family dinner and have some fun, later she finds out she is betrothed to some pureblood boy so Sirius comes up with a mental idea to save them both.

Warnings: Kissing, hints of sex, aggressive parents, underage drinking, idk my writing and English? lol

a/n: Oh my god this is so long! I hope you guys like it, i think there is only 2 chapters left, idk yet. Anyway Feedback is always welcome, thank you guys :)

Xxxx

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch. 2.5 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch. 5

When Y/n got home, she had time before going to the Malfoys, so she was planning on how to gently tell her parents she didn’t want to go and that she wasn’t going to accept their marriage proposal too. She spend days thinking and decided it was time, because her mom was already telling her to get prepared to go, so she sent a letter to Sirius as promised telling him she would talk to her parents on that day.

Later the family sat down in a living room and waited for Y/n to say what she wanted to.

“So? What do you want to tell us, your father and I are busy” her mother said impatiently, not knowing the bomb her daughter would throw at her.

Y/n took a deep breath and said “I don’t want to marry Malfoy, I’m not accepting his proposal.” As simple as that single phrase sounded like, it cost her so much more. Her parents were outraged to say the very least, how could she misbehave after all those year of being so obedient.

“What do you mean you won’t? Yes you will, the Malfoys are getting their answers next week” Her mother screamed.

To say her parent were furious was an understatement. She was disrespecting not only their choice of husband, but also their ancient family traditions. But in reality that’s exactly what she felt like, those traditions were ancient and full of nonsense, it is completely wrong to promise a girl to some narcissist, conservative, arrogant, aggressive prick and make her spend the rest of her life with him, loosing all of her liberty.

“Are you calling Lucius a prick? He is a member of one respectable family Y/n!” Her father grunted, grabbing his wand.

“Why? Because they’re pureblood?” Y/n yelled, since she was already fighting their principles she might as well do it right. “That’s nonsense why would a blood status change a person? It doesn't change anything, I know many muggle borns who are ten times better people than you are, you think you can judge everyone, just because you’re pure? Or rich? Or call yourself royal? Which is absurd by the way, you and I know there isn’t royalty in our world, you only say that because you want to be better than everyone else, so you lie and you’re powerful enough for people to believe you” she roared, it felt incredible to take some of her frustrations out of her chest for once in her life, she didn’t have to pretend to be a well behaved purist, like she was before.

Mr. Watson wouldn’t believe his daughter, he didn’t want to, so he kept blinding himself from the ugly truth that he was indeed wrong. “I won’t tolerate you disrespecting our tradition Y/n” with a wave from his hands Charles hit Y/n with the Cruciatus curse, taking her to the ground almost immediately.

“Dad! Stop- you’re hurting me, please! You’re hurting me” She cried and begged and squirmed, it felt agonising the pain touched each and every part of her body, the tears ran freely down her face, after being hit a certain amount of times she just felt numb to the pain, she stayed still wrapping her knees with all the strength she had left.

“You are going to marry Lucius Malfoy and you are going to accept his proposal in person when you go to his house, because you’re still going and I don’t want to hear a single complain or any of these ideas you cultivated in your mind, you are going to bring us respect” With no remorse her father left her there small, hugging her legs and crying alone, earning only a polite nod from her mother followed by a ‘I warned you’ look.

The rest of her time at home went by so slow she thought a whole month had passed, she was now feeling so bad being in her own house that she almost wanted to go to the Malfoys. Her parents weren’t even letting her see the mail, which meant she wasn’t receiving Sirius’ letters. Her sister wouldn’t talk with her anymore, scared of having the same fate as Y/n and her brother didn’t even know what was happening with his little sister.

The day she was going to the Malfoy manor had arrived. Her parents dropped her there in that shark tank like it meant nothing, they didn’t even bother saying good bye, she had come a long way from being the perfect daughter, who was always respectful with her parents and their ideals. Being at the Malfoys felt like being in Azkaban, but it was still better than being at home at least, there she was treated with extreme respect by Abraxas Malfoy and his wife, they were doing it out of interest of course but it was better than nothing, her only problem was Lucius, she hated him and hated even more that she’d need to sleep in his bed with him and even more that she’d have to accept his proposal by the end of the week. She felt stuck.

After having dinner Mrs. Malfoy showed you to Lucius’ room, while the house elf carried Y/n’s trunk next to the bed. The room was nice and big but it was cold and dark, she felt bad in there, fear creeping into her chest as her whole body felt numb, she just wished she could be in Sirius’ bed in the dormitories, she didn’t know why but there, by Sirius’ side was the most perfect place to be, she felt warm and safe.

“That’s it sweetheart, goodnight” after showing the room, with a final goodbye Mrs. Malfoy let her there alone, with Lucius. He was handsome, sharp jaw, strong upper body, beautiful face, she couldn’t deny it but it felt so wrong, it was sickening, she didn’t love him, she couldn’t, he was a terrible person.

“Look Y/n/n, I have to say, back in Hogwarts I was a bit jealous from you and Sirius, but now, being here with you, feels so right” he said as he was inching closer to her “Come on, let’s go to bed” his fingers were brushing her waist, the single phrase and action made her feel sick, his touch was ice cold, but what choice did she have. Y/n knew the punishment she’d have to face if she didn’t behave

“Ok” she replied, mouth dry “I’ll go change, in the bathroom”. She opened her trunk and looked for comfortable pyjamas, but to her surprise there were only vulgar sleeping clothes and lingeries, she felt a cold in her spine that made her sicker, her mother had it all planned out, crazy she thought, her mother is crazy. The last straw was when she saw a note from her mom.

Bought you some new clothes for you to share with Lucius.

Love,

Mom

She wondered what would It feel like to have a real caring mother, not one that just clearly wants her to have sex so she can have grandchildren. But she was born on a deranged family. She had no choice, so she just chose the pieces that were most discreet and even those weren't even a bit discreet, it was a black lace bra that at least covered her breasts perfectly and went a bit down and matching panties, if there was something she was sure of, it was that she didn’t want to see Lucius’ face when he saw her.

But again, she had no choice, when she entered the room again Lucius gaze fell directly on her chest. “My eyes are up here you know right?” She asked with a bored voice, while lying down in bed, much to her dismay.

“Feisty” he chuckled lying in bed besides her “I’ve always liked you Watson” Lucius was being a tease but she could see it in his eyes that he was drooling over her. She hated it. So she turned over and closed her eyes, wanting desperately to sleep for the whole time she’d be stuck there “Good night for you too, love” the nickname Sirius used to call her seemed so cold now, sounded fake coming form Lucius’ mouth. That night her thoughts kept going back to Sirius, she wondered if he was trying to talk to her, trying to reach her somehow but being unsuccessful thanks to her cruel parents. She missed him, his touch, his affections and she missed Lily, if she was here they’d talk the whole night and then maybe it wouldn’t fell so lonely, she missed reading with Remus, joking and pranking people with James and how protective he was and Peter’s cute but sarcastic comments, she missed her true family.

The next few days sucked, Y/n was running out of the less vulgar clothes, Lucius was always trying to kiss her and get close to her and the Malfoys’ forced kindness was beginning to annoy her, on top of that she didn’t feel like home in this house, she didn’t feel comfortable to do anything, basically she was counting the days until she could go back to Hogwarts.

——————————

Sirius knew something was wrong when Y/n didn’t answer any of his letters, assuming that she’d now probably be at the Malfoys, he needed to talked to her. The thought of Malfoy touching her and the things he could do made his blood boil, she was his friend after all. But things at his home weren’t good, his parents were breathing down his neck so he need to find a way to escape, so, of course he asked James for help.

James and Sirius had come up with a plan, but it was certainly dangerous and potentially problematic, just like everything they did. The plan was: Sirius would sneak away from his house, once he managed to do so he would meet with James in his house and the both boys would go pay the Malfoys a visit, once inside Sirius would need to distract the Malfoys since their families are friends while James helped Y/n run away to his house. It wasn’t quite a brilliant plan, they didn’t have much time to think, but Sirius needed to be sure she was safe.

Now Sirius thought he would have great difficulty running away, he waited for everyone to fall asleep to leave his bedroom, managed to avoid the elves, went to the broom closet, grabbed a broomstick, everything was doing great, except for one thing. Sirius’ brother Regulus thought he had herd something and went downstairs, only to find he’s rebellious younger brother trying to run away.

“What do you think you’re doing this time of night Sirius?” Regulus asked not even a bit surprised by his brother’s actions.

Shit, Sirius thought, he had two options lie or tell the truth. He chose the boldest one “Reg, don’t tell our parents” he looked helpless for the first time in his life, Regulus was quite startled “I need to save my friend, she’s in danger. I know we’re not in the best terms but, do this one favour for me-” he paused “I really care about this girl, she’s the Watson’s daughter, you know her”

“What? The Watson’s… you mean Y/n? What happed Sirius? She’s my friend too, is she okay?” He was going to tell his parents before but now he was curious and worried, he liked Y/n, she was nice to him on eventual encounters in their common room or classes.

“She’s- she’s being held captive at the Malfoys” it wasn’t a lie.

“Held captive? And what about her parents? her dad is the Minister of Magic Law Enforcement, what is it you can do that he can’t and on top of that why are the Malfoys supposedly holding her captive?” Regulus was being particularly annoying, he was suspicious of Sirius’ intentions.

“Her parents gave her away, they want her to marry Lucius, but she doesn’t. And i’m willing to ask for her hand if she accepts me, but she wanted to confront her parents, which clearly went terribly wrong” Sirius tried to defend his theses but he didn’t know if Regulus would be willing to let him go or he’d say that she has to marry who her parents want.

“You’re being absurd Sirius, it can’t possibly be that bad, it’s a marriage, considering our families, it’d happen sooner or later. You can’t stop it, if the Malfoys tell our parents they’ll kill you” Regulus was irritated at first, she was only doing what she was supposed to.

“I’m going either way” Sirius wasn’t letting his brother get in the way.

“Ok.” Sirius would be lying if he said he’s jaw hadn’t dropped to the floor. Actually Regulus was quite shocked too, hearing he’s brother say he was willing to marry a girl and a girl that their parents would approve was indeed shocking and he liked Y/n, the thought of her suffering made him less strict with his brother for once.

“W-well- hum ok then” Sirius left as quickly as he could, afraid this was only an hallucination.

James was waiting for Sirius with his bedroom’s window open. When he entered they both went to bed and talked until they fell asleep, the next day would be eventful. Assuming they woke up right before lunch, the boys hurriedly set everything necessary for the plan, muttered apologies to James’ parents and went to pay a visit to Lucius Malfoy. The weather outside was cold, but the sun was shining, making the travel rather beautiful, but the boys didn’t even notice, they were too worried, James couldn’t stop thinking about how Malfoy was treating his best friend, he hated him so much, Sirius had another motives, he hadn’t realised yet and it may take a little push, but he was jealous.

Arriving at that creepy mansion James and Sirius separated, James sneaked in quietly looking for Y/n’s belongings, while Sirius knocked on the door. The house elf asked him to come in and called his master. Mrs. Malfoy was quite surprised but tolerant.

“Good Morning, may i ask your name?” She asked politely

“Oh i’m Sirius Black, Walburga’s son”

“Oh! Sirius what a pleasant surprise, is Walburga going to visit us today?”

“No madam” he paused, grabbing a gift he stole from his parents earlier “my mom asked me to give you this present, I don’t really know why, she didn’t want to tell me what it was” He never lied so badly in his entire life, but knowing Y/n was probably miserable was distracting him.

She found it suspect but didn’t do anything, it was better ti ignore it “How lovely, come in and have lunch with us, Y/n and Lucius will be thrilled to see you” Mrs. Malfoy suggested, probably trying to maintain friendly due to her relationship with the Black family.

Y/n really will, he thought.

When Y/n saw Sirius she felt hope rise in her chest for the first time since beginning of the break, she ran and hugged him tightly, the hug felt warn and safe, she didn’t want to ever let go. But she had to, the action was inappropriate. “Sirius!!! What are you doing here, what a lovely visit” she said winking at him, trying to hold composure but failing.

“Sirius” Lucius greeted him too cordially “Came to visit my fiancé?” He asked with a smug look on his face.

“Not yet, darling” Y/n retorted with a fake smile

Sirius sat next to her at the big table, the room was dark and big, the table was made of hardwood the only light sources were the sun and a weak candelabra, the room had a giant fireplace that was probably the only warm place in the house and heavy curtains. When Lucius and Mrs. Malfoy were distracted, Sirius whispered to Y/n “Say you have to go to the bathroom, James’ waiting for you outside, he probably already has your Trunk”.

His word startled Y/n, that was a dream come true, but she couldn’t “Sirius, I can’t leave, my parents would kill me” she paused to check if no one was listening “If I run it would create a conflict between my parents and the Malfoys and I don’t want to be caught in the middle of it.” She said pretending to pay attention on Lucius’ commentaries “I’m going to stay here” she continued, shocking Sirius completely.

“But your parents want you to get married Y/n, are you just going to- marry Malfoy and the rest of your life with him?” she looked tense, knowing she’d have no choice, he hated seeing her like that.

Suddenly she heard Sirius clear his throat loudly, scaring her “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk with Y/n” he paused, the Malfoys were now looking at him “In private, if you allow us- it’s urgent” Mrs Malfoy looked a little confused but nodded. Sirius took Elena out of the room almost immediately.

“Y/n why in the name of Merlin are you staying here?”

“I can’t go Sirius, I told you, the Malfoys wouldn’t be happy, it could cause a conflict my parents want to avoid” Sirius didn’t look convinced, he knew she was just making excuses but he didn’t know why.

“Really? Isn’t you’re family the most powerful in the sacred-twenty-eight?” He commented mockingly “Why would they be scared of the Malfoys?” Sirius could see the fear in her eyes, she wanted to go but was scared, so he sat her down on a coach near and asked her with those protective grey eyes that made her feel so protected “Y/n, it’s alright you can tell me anything” he said covering her hands in his protectively.

“No, i-i i can’t tell you” He squeezed her hands reassuringly saying that no one would know if she told him. She took a deep breath, e/c eyes staring at his grey ones “If i run, my parents, will kill me” she said eyes now full of fear, it made them look darker.

“Theoretically, right?” He asked concerned, knowing deep down what kind of family the Watsons were, he was surprised with his shock, cursing himself for the stupid question.

“No Sirius!” She whispered shouted “They’ll actually kill me, you want to know how I ended up here at the Malfoys after I told them I didn’t want to come? Do you?” She looked at him waiting for an answer, he nodded “They used two of the three unforgivable curses on me, every day until I agreed to come and marry Lucius” her voice was cracking “They used Imperio, made me not move and then used Cruciatus, I was feeling so much pain that I thought I was going to die and worse, I couldn't move a toe, I couldn’t even try to ease my pain by screaming and moving because i was under their control.” His eyes were now burning with anger “To get me to come here they used Imperio again and I don’t them to use it ever again, I lost all my free will, so what choice do I have?” Her voice was cracking, fighting the urge to cry, only the mere thought of what had happed scared her. “They’d rather see me dead than seeing me go rogue and ruin the family name” she paused, taking a breath and continued, desperation written all over her face “Why do you think i’ve always been pureblood propaganda for my parents? The gracious perfect daughter, perfect sister, the perfect student? because if I did what you do” she gestured at him “They’d kill me” She finished, looking at him, eyes begging for help, face trying miserably to hide her emotions. Sirius was scared, not even his parents had ever done something of the sort and they creative punishers. So he wrapped her in his arms not wanting to ever let her go, wanting to protect every strand of hair in her head. She melted into his embrace, all of the fear and agony being soothed.

“Oh Merlin Y/n, i’m so sorry” Sirius almost cried when she hugged him back tightly, looking for safety in his arms, the arms she knew so well. After a few moments Sirius said abruptly “Marry me Y/n” he felt her body stiffen “Please, I know you can handle this on your own, but I don’t want you to” he paused, caressing her hair “Please marry me, the Black name should be enough for your parents to accept the union, just let me take care of you, please”

For the first time, Y/n didn’t protest, she just nodded and buried her head on his chest, she knew this plan was reckless and would make her parents angry, but she couldn’t control herself, it was like her body couldn’t take the pain anymore. “Y/n, go find James, he’s outside. I’ll talk with Malfoy, please just go, ok?” He kissed her forehead, as she stood up and went to find James.

Sirius went back to the dining room and explained that Y/n had to go home, because she would refuse Lucius’ proposal. The Malfoys were startled and outraged, she didn’t even have the guts to tell them herself? She had to bring another boy? It was all a waste of time and i’d be a disgrace for the Malfoy name if someone found out their son were rejected by a Watson, but surprisingly Sirius managed to convince them, no one created excuses as good as him. Surprisingly the Malfoys didn’t try to stop him, it was a miracle, even though they couldn’t do anything since Y/n wasn’t their daughter and it’d make a scene that could ruin their reputation, that wouldn’t last long though, they needed to run, because they would certainly contact Y/n’s parents to give a piece of their minds, it was a deal after all, they didn’t understand what happened.

“Well then Mr. Black, we hope everything’s turns out to be fine” Mrs. Malfoy politely sneered with a wave of goodbye.

“Eh-hm Thank you Mrs. Malfoy, we’re sorry for the inconvenience” Sirius said a bit nervous, leaving the room as quickly as he could.

While Sirius was talking with the Malfoys, Y/n was running to the front gate where James was waiting for her. “Y/n/n!” He shouted as he saw her running his way, when she arrived he wrapped her in a bear hug lifting her off the ground. “I’m so glad you’re okay” he said warmly, form this day on, feeling her fear as she hugged him back James considered her his sister and she considered him her brother, since he protected her, risked a rescue when she needed the most, that meant the world.

“I’m glad to see you too Prongs” she chuckled lightly at his protective brother hug.

“Here” he said pointing to his broomstick “We’re going together, to my house, when Sirius arrive” she nodded climbing up the broom behind him.

James and Y/n were already waiting, ready to leave, when Sirius showed up getting on his broom saying “Let’s go, let’s go before they warn your parents” and taking off, James following right after. Riding their brooms fast against the cold winter air, happy that their mental plan had worked. When the trio arrived at the Potters, James’ mom was in the garden, certainly not expecting her son and his friend to arrive with a h/c girl with e/c eyes stained with tears.

“James, care to explain?” His mother asked unable to hide her surprise, but going to help the girl and try to calm her down “Let’s go inside, i’ll make you some tea sweetie and you two will explain me what happened” she said looking at the boys.

So, once inside, the boys explained what Y/n was going through and how she was being tortured and forced to marry Malfoy. Euphemia, was disgusted with Y/n’s parents, she had heard of their reputations before but this was cruel. During the whole explanation Y/n was quiet, riding out of her shock, they guessed, until she spoke and everyone went silent “I need to to my house” she said so low it was almost inaudible, they were sure they had heard it wrong but then she said it louder this time “I need to go home before things get worse” the room went silent.

“You’re not going back there Y/n” Sirius was the first to talk, desperation in his voice.

“They’ll kill me if I don’t go back”

“There, One more reason, it’s not safe” James added, but she insisted.

Sirius stopped, looking at her “Ok then, I’m going with you, after I pay mommy dear a visit. Can you wait only until that? i’ll be as quick as possible”

“Yeah Y/n wait a little and calm down, you can stay here until he comes back” James said patting her shoulder gently.

“No, I don’t want to bother your parents, I’m fine” she said shyly, earning a shrug from Mrs. Potter “-and I-i don’t know how long it’ll take until my parents find out i left the Malfoys, it’s too risky”

“Dear, calm down, there’s no problem in you staying here, I promise, wait for Sirius, he’ll be there for you, your parents are not going to hurt you. If your plan doesn’t work then you can stay here with us, just rest for a bit” Euphemia said with a motherly smile on her face.

“But Sirius don’t you think your parents will be warned too?” Y/n tried to protest but James’ mom was already showing her to her room.

Y/n was so tired from the restless nights at the Malfoys, from the fear she constantly felt that Lucius would do something to her and from her parents, that when Euphemia offered the guest room and put her there, she drifted to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Sirius caressed her hair and laid beside for a minute to make sure she was alright after the turbulent events from the break.

While she slept he told James about his plan to marry her, He was a Black, her parents would certainly be pleased with the union if the anger from the Malfoy incident passed and his parents would never refuse to wed him with a Watson, it’d be like refusing royalty, maybe it’d be difficult to explain the latest incident but anyway it was the offer of a lifetime. “Wow, Sirius are you sure? I mean, I want to save Y/n too, but- this, are you sure? This whole marriage thing is mental” James gasped.

“Her parents won’t let her stay here, they’ll try to get her back and make her marry someone else, since we humiliated Lucius, they won’t stop, I know how these people get” Sirius stated “But if I go to my parents and convince them to ask her hand to the Watsons, since she’s not officially betrothed to anyone yet, not only they’ll be thrilled but they’ll also do anything to convince her parents. And my parents would Betroth me one day too so this is just the best option for both of us” James couldn’t argue, it was a good plan in the rough.

“So you’re getting married, that’s serious” James teased “Our dear friend Y/n/n will be future Mrs. Black” he laughed hard at Sirius’ blushed face. “Oh Merlin!” He pointed a finger to Sirius “You like her! You- fancy Y/n, Merlin” James was so excited “It all makes sense, this friends with benefits thing would never work and that’s why you’re so relaxed about marrying her, because you fancy Y/N/N, Merlin!”

“No I don’t, shove off Prongs, you’re hallucinating, we’re friends” The blush on his face wasn’t ignored by James, who laughed harder “Now, i need to go home and convince mommy Black to talk to the Watsons” Sirius cut James off, leaving the room heading to the hell he called home.

“Whatever you say Pads” James yelled from the kitchen.

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taglist: @msmb ❤️

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ambitionzzzz · 4 years ago

Text

Of Convenience

Chapter 1- Potions

Warnings: Cursing

Slughorn’s potions class was difficult to say the least. Sure you were at the top of nearly all your classes, but potions thoroughly kicked your ass. It’s possible you’d get the content if you’d show up on time. Like now- you ran through the long halls, trying to get to class before Slughorn locks the door. He was known for locking doors after the first 10 minutes of class, ‘If you can’t show up to class on time, you shouldn’t come at all.’ Your shoulder bag continued to hit your back as you ran, just turn one more corner and-

“Ah, Miss Y/n, thank you for gracing us with your presence,” He feigned a smile. “You are late… again,” He looked down at you from the doorway. “I have half a mind to close this door, if you can give me a reason why I shouldn’t, I’ll let you in and rip up this detention slip I have here,” He held up the parchment.

“Professor, please, you have to understand- I have Charms before this class, and that’s on the other side of the school-”

“I know the layout of the school, Y/l/n. I asked for a reason, not an excuse.”

“Professor Slughorn-”

“You may come in, but you have detention this weekend-”

“I-”

“Would you like it to be the weekend after, too?”

You bit your tongue, “No.”

“Come in quickly and quietly.”

You said nothing and walked in, keeping your head low, knowing everyone was most likely looking at you. You looked up to find a seat to see that one of two spots were open- One next to Alaric, who was smirking at you, or Remus, one of the so called ‘Marauders’. You chose the latter, passing Alaric who just scoffed. “Is this seat taken?” The boy looked up at you, his eyes meeting yours.

“Uh, no, you can take it.”

“Thank you,” You quickly sat down as Slughorn began the lesson for the day. He went to talk about the potion the class would be attempting. You had zoned out, overthinking the interaction you had had with Slughorn only a short while ago.

“Y/l/n,” Your head shot up, “Can you tell me what potion we are making today?” You swallowed, looking at the board behind him for help.

“Draught of Peace…?”

“Correct,” He shuffled in front of the board, blocking the words written. “And can you possibly tell me, of the five ingredients needed for this potion, which of the five are not powdered?”

‘Fuck,’ Just as you were about to give up, you felt a tap on your elbow. You subtly looked down to see a slip of paper… ‘syrup of hellebore and valerian root’ was just barely legible. “Um, is it Valerian Root?”

“And?”

“And…” You looked at the paper once more, “Syrup of Hellebore,” He seemed satisfied with your answer and turned back to the board, announcing that the class would have to pick a partner to work with. Once he was done, he sat down at his desk and began writing Godric knows what. The rest of the class took this as a sign to get up and pick their partner. As you turned to Remus to thank him, Alaric walked up to you and demanded you be partners with him. “Thanks, but no thanks, Alaric.”

“Why?? You got a boyfriend or somethin’?”

“N-”

“Yes, actually,” Your eyes widened as you looked at the source of the voice.

“Are you joking?” Alaric scoffed, “Lupin is your boyfriend?” This got the attention of a few others, namely, the rest of the Marauders.

You looked at Remus, smiled, and then looked back at Alaric. “Yes, actually. And I would appreciate it if you’d leave,” Alaric, clearly agitated, left stomping. You turned to Remus, lowering your voice enough so that only he could hear, “I owe you my life,” He laughed quietly. “Seriously, I do. With the seat-”

“It’s just a seat-”

“Then the ingredients, and now this? Genuinely, thank you, Remus.”

“It’s uh- It’s no problem,” The corner of his mouth raised into a half smile. You continued to stare at each other until a hand dropped on each of your shoulders, you both jumped at the sudden contact.

“Moony,” James looked at him, “Were you not planning on telling us about your pretty girlfriend?” He looked at you and winked.

“Well-”

“That would be my fault-” You saved him. Peter and Sirius came over and began leaning on the table, listening in. “I asked if we could keep it between us, at least for a little while.”

“And why’s that, love?” James continued to look at you.

“Oh, um, it’s kind of embarrassing…” They looked at you expectantly, “Rem’s actually my first relationship.”

“How long have you guys-”

“And that’s the end of class,” Slughorn announced. You never thought you’d be glad to hear Slughorn’s voice before now. “You should already have your partners, for tomorrow we will begin with the Draught of Peace.”

“We’ll leave you two be,” James looked at his friends and signaled for them to leave. Waiting until the class was near empty, Remus stood up, you followed.

“I am so sorry-”

“Don’t be, if anything I should be sorry. I just said it without thinking, I’m sorry, he was just acting like a complete git. That doesn’t excuse it but- your boyfriend is probably going to find out-”

“Remus-”

“I am so sorry-”

“Remus,” You stopped in the middle of the near empty hallway and he stopped too. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“You- You don’t? I could’ve sworn...”

“In fact, you saved me today.”

“I told you it was nothing-”

“I know, but I’m referring to the whole, ‘boyfriend’, thing,” You began walking and he followed. “That kid, Alaric, has been harassing me since the beginning of the year. Maybe me having a ‘boyfriend’ will help get him off my back… Which, now that I think about it, I don’t know how I’m going to keep pretending you’re my boyfriend.”

“What do you mean? Also, what’s your next class?”

“Defense Against the Dark Arts.”

“Same here, I’ll walk you.”

“Thank you, and I mean like- We’re not actually dating.”

“...We could pretend…?... At least until that guy starts to leave you alone.”

You looked at him, “You’d do that?”

“I mean,” He avoided eye contact as he led you down the long corridors, “Would it be so bad? It’s not like I have anything better to do,” He smiled.

“But, do realize, we’d have to go on dates, albeit fake dates, but just to keep up appearances.”

“I know,” He nodded. “We’ll talk ‘bout it more later, yeah?” He walked into the class. You smiled and followed suit.

“We’ve been dating how long?” He continued to quizzed you as the two of you walked to the Great Hall for lunch.

“Two months.”

“Good.”

“How did we meet?” You asked him.

“You’re late everyday to potions,”

“Okay, calm down-”

“Because of your tardiness, I couldn’t help but take notice.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

He laughed and asked another question, “Alright and how did I ask you out?”

“You didn’t. I asked you-”

“No-”

“Yes-”

“No-”

“Oh my god, our first argument.”

“C’mon, they’re waving us over,” He said nothing else but instead grabbed your hand and led you to the table. He sat down first, making room for you to sit as well.

“So,” Sirius looked at you, “How’s the lovely couple doing today?”

“Doing alright, thank you,” You smiled and grabbed Remus’s hand under the table. You saw Remus look at you from the corner of your eye but you continued to talk to Sirius. “How are you?”

“Swell. Now, how long have you been dating?”

“About two months now? Right, Rem?”

He looked at you and you looked back, “Yeah,” He gave you a small smile. “We met back in September, in the beginning of the year, and by November we had already been together a month.”

“That’s pretty fast, don’t you think?” Sirius said staring into your eyes.

“You would know, right? I mean, a different girl every few weeks? Don’t you think that’s pretty fast?”

“What are you implying?” You felt Remus squeeze your hand lightly.

“I think you know what I’m implying,” You held eye contact with Black.

He broke out an award winning smile, looking around and then settled on Remus, “I like her.”

“I’d say that went well,” You linked arms with your ‘boyfriend’ as you left the Great Hall. Everyone went their separate ways, James and Sirius to their shared class, Peter and Lily to theirs.

“Yeah, it did,” He walked you to your next class, which, coincidentally, was the same as his. “They’re probably going to grill me later though.”

“I mean, you remember the plan, right? If anything, make stuff up and just tell me as soon as you can.”

“And when’s our scheduled break-up?” He held open the door for you to walk through.

“Thank you. And it’s February 17th, if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” He nodded. “What an odd date, and only three days after Valentine’s Day.”

You laughed, taking a seat. Remus took the one next to you. “I know, but we need angst.”

“What for?” He took out his books and handed you a quill.

“Thanks, here,” You handed him an extra ink pot, he thanked you as you continued. “The angst makes it more believable. Picture this, you spend Valentine’s day with your significant other, it’s one of the best days you’ve ever had- Only to decide a couple days later that you’ve grown apart. The love isn’t there anymore.”

“Wow,” He stared at the blackboard as the teacher began writing. “Did you just come up with that?”

You just smiled in response.

#marauders au #marauders #marauders x reader #james potter #sirius black #x reader #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #remus lupin x reader #james potter x reader #harry potter #hp #harry potter x reader #lily evans #mary mcdonald #marlene mckinnon #lucius malfoy #lucius x reader

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calwrites · 4 years ago

Text

The Gala (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Summary: Reader is dreading spending the weekend with her family. Of course, even a gala is interesting when you’re a member of the BAU.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 6.7k

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Time seemed to move slowly around you as you watched helplessly as your team moved around you. Surely there was something that you could be doing. Some way that you could be of use. But all you could do was sit there and watch.

It certainly wasn’t for lack of trying. You had gone around asking everyone if there was something that you could do to help. You had even asked Penelope if you could clean her computer screens for her. She had very firmly told you never to touch her computers. It was probably the most scared you had ever been of a woman wearing a neon pink dress and a headband with cat ears.

Really, it didn’t make much sense. How were you so on top of all your paperwork, while your coworkers were so behind? And why wouldn’t they just let you do more of their paperwork for them? You had already managed to spend most of the day doing some of Emily’s, but she had eventually cut you off. Apparently she had told the rest of the team not to let you help out too.

This was a betrayal you never thought you would face. Of everyone in this office, you thought Emily would always have your back when it came to avoiding family. The two of you had similar relationships with your mothers. Of course, you couldn’t even admire your mother for being a diplomat like she could. Instead, you just had to pretend to be impressed by the charity balls and silent auctions that your mother organized.

That was how you found yourself in this situation. Prentiss continued to work, trying her best to ignore you, as you continued to glare at her. You didn’t even notice that you had been furiously clicking your pen until Reid spoke.

“Uh Y/N, are you okay?” You jerked a bit in surprise, having been so focused on trying to make Prentiss feel your anger. Setting the pen down quickly, you looked over at Reid a bit guiltily. “You’ve been clicking your pen a lot, which you only do when you’re nervous or upset.”

“Sorry, Reid,” you apologized. Reid’s desk was right next to yours. When you had first started at the BAU almost a year ago, it had been obvious that Reid wasn’t thrilled to have someone at the desk next to his, though he tried to hide it. You still weren’t sure if it was because of a germaphobe thing or Reid not wanting to get distracted by a deskmate or what, but, thankfully, the two of you worked together well. Most of the time, you ignored each other unless one of you had a question for the other. You kept your desk organized, so Reid didn’t get distracted by a messy desk in his line of sight. If anything, Reid distracted you more than you distracted him. You didn’t really mind when Reid would start telling you facts about something he had just read, though. It was always interesting.

“She’s just avoiding leaving the office because she doesn’t want to go home.” You turned back to glare at Emily as she spoke. “Oh come on. Really? It’s not my fault.”

“Well you’re the one who won’t let me do your paperwork. I’m going to remember this the next time you ask for some help.”

“Why don’t you want to go home? Trouble with your neighbors again?” Giving Emily one last glare, you turn back to Spencer. He had the most adorable confused expression on his face. Not that you should be finding your coworkers adorable.

“Not my apartment. I have to go to my parents’ house.”

Reid opened his mouth, no doubt to question why you were going and why you didn’t want to and why you were going even though you didn’t want to, but you were saved by Hotch exiting his office. With any luck, there would be an important case that could be your excuse not to go. Although you probably shouldn’t be hoping that there was a serial killer that needed to be tracked down.

Hotch’s eyes met yours as he walked down the stairs. Probably not a case, then. “Y/N, what are you still doing here?” Definitely not a case, then. “You’re going to miss your flight if you don’t leave soon.”

“Tragic,” you mutter. At Hotch’s blank stare, you continued, “I was just sticking around to see if I could be of any help.”

“Yeah, sticking like gum on the bottom of a shoe,” Emily interjected. She gave Hotch an exasperated look. “I keep telling her to leave, but she won’t.”

Truly, this was the officially the greatest betrayal you had experienced. It was one thing to stop giving you paperwork, but telling on you? Unbelievable.

“Well what if there’s a case and I’m at the airport? It would just be a hassle to get back.” Hotch continued to look stoically at you as you pleaded your case. You had always found it a little unnerving how he managed to keep his face like that all the time.

“If there’s a case, then you won’t be going on it either way,” Hotch said slowly, like he was explaining something to Jack. You glared at Emily, who was wearing a smug grin. “You asked for this time off, so you’re going to take this time off. Now, get out of here before you miss your flight. You can’t take the jet. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask.”

“Well it’s just sitting there,” you grumble. Still, you start gathering your things. It was useless to argue with Hotch. He was right. When your mother had asked, well begged really, you to do her one favor, you had foolishly agreed before hearing what the favor was. It was a mistake you hadn’t made in years, but you blamed it on the fact that you were in the middle of a case when she had called.

“Why are you so upset about getting to leave early, sweet thing?” Morgan asked. He had been a silent spectator of your struggle. Maybe if you had gone to him for paperwork first you could have lasted longer. He was probably less likely to cut you off than Emily was. “I would love to be able to start my Friday night early.”

“No one wants to know what you do on a Friday night,” you quipped as you slung your bag over your shoulder.

Derek raised an eyebrow at you. “Are you jealous that I’ll be spending my evening with someone else? Are you just going to miss me that much this weekend?”

You put your hands over your heart as dramatically as you could manage. “Yes! Whatever will I do? I won’t be able to see Derek Morgan all weekend. How will I survive?” If your mother had been there, she would have scolded you for being overly dramatic. Your team, however, rolled their eyes and smiled.

“Get out of here, sweet thing. And have a good weekend.” You glared at Derek, then Emily, then Hotch, but you couldn’t keep it up. A small smile tugged at your lips as you made your way to the elevator.

“I hate you all. I hope you have a boring and safe weekend.”

“What did I do?” you could just hear Reid ask as the elevator doors closed.

-------------------------

“Oh I’m just so happy that you finally took time out of your busy life to come by for a visit. Of course, I would love if you came to see us in the city. New York is so much closer to DC than the Vineyard is. It is so nice to have all of my girls here for the weekend. We really should do this more.”

You tried your best not to look like you were ignoring your mother as she continued to chatter while she finished doing your hair. It had been a long day and you hadn’t even made it to the gala yet. Your mother had insisted on having an early morning tennis tournament with your sisters. It was something you had done most weekends growing up, but it didn’t work as well now. It was a little hard having a tournament when two of your sisters were pregnant and the third never woke up before ten. So you woke up at 7 to play against your mom.

At least afterwards you had gotten to have brunch with your family at your favorite brunch spot in Martha’s Vineyard. It had been nice to catch up with your sisters, though you mom still had a tendency to rule over all conversation. Brunch was more chaotic than it had been in years. Your older sister already had two kids, with the third on the way. Luckily, her husband was always quick to chase after them whenever they tried to make a break for it. You wished you could run away with them.

You had tried to act surprised when Kelly announced that she and her boyfriend were engaged, but you had known for two months. Kelly had let it slip when you were talking on the phone. You had also known exactly what your mom would say after the congratulations stopped.

“Well, I guess it’s Y/N’s turn.” All eyes turned to you. Your father and sisters looked apologetic, though Kelly also seemed a bit annoyed that you were stealing her thunder. Not that you wanted it. “Rachel, my first born, is about to have her third baby. And now my babies,” she smiled at the twins, Lily and Kelly, “are both going to be married. I just want you to be taken care of, Y/N.”

“I can take care of myself.” You tried to sound as civil as possible, but this was a conversation you and your mother had already had. You didn’t think she meant anything by her comments, at least that’s what you chose to believe. She just had antiquated ways of thinking. Growing up, you hadn’t realized just how antiquated. It wasn’t until college, when you and your roommate had been watching Gilmore Girls. The two of you had laughed about something Emily said. Of course, she was laughing because of how ridiculous it seemed that anyone would think like Emily. You were laughing because your mother had done the exact same thing the other month.

“We know that,” your father tried to save you, but your mother cut him off.

“You’ve just been so focused on your job. Now you’re in the BAB-”

“BAU.”

Your mother waved her hand like there was no difference. You had to focus on steadying your breaths to keep yourself from interrupting your mother as she continued her speech. It wasn’t anything new. You’ve reached a good spot in your career. You’re almost 30 and not getting any younger. Surely you wanted kids soon.

“So is there anyone in DC you’re not telling us about?” Kelly asked. You shook your head as you continued to eat. Any minute now your family would remember that you were the middle child and therefore should be ignored.

“What about that Spencer guy?” Rachel asked, immediately making you regret telling her about Spencer. Unfortunately, you couldn’t stop your cheeks from heating up as you thought about him. You had had a crush on Spencer since you started at the BAU. After almost a year of working with him, you thought you had it under control. “You talk about him a lot.”

“We work together. I spend a lot of time with all of my teammates.” Hopefully, they would let it go and start talking about baby showers or something. Of course, you weren’t that lucky.

“Not all of you teammates are hot geniuses who are the same age as you.” Of course Rachel had looked him up. She seemed to think that it was her duty as your older sister to find a boyfriend for you.

You were saved from responding by your phone beeping. “It’s a text from Spencer Reid!” Lily gasped, leaning over you to look at your phone.

“It’s work,” you snapped. You quickly excused yourself, going outside before opening the text. The team had a case. Hotch wanted you to be aware, but had forbidden anyone from telling you any more than that so that you wouldn’t hop on a plane to meet them. He seemed determined to make you spend time with your family. Not that he knew what he was subjecting you to. The only person who knew that you came from a family of Manhattan socialites was Emily, and you had only told her because the two of you had actually met at some event your mothers were both attending before you started working at the BAU.

So now you were stuck here, sitting still while your mother pulled your hair in an attempt to style it. About to be forced into a dress that your mother had assured you was “absolutely perfect.” Emily had shuddered in sympathy when you told her that. It didn’t get any better once your mother was done making you look presentable. She rounded up you and your sisters, so that she could take pictures. Luckily, you all still knew the drill so pictures didn’t take too long. You couldn’t wait for this night to be over. The dress was uncomfortable, the shoes pinched your feet, and you had already been reprimanded for touching your hair and face.

“Oh look at my girls. I feel like I’m in Pride and Prejudice.” You mother fanned herself as she looked at the four of you.

“There are five girls in Pride and Prejudice. You’re thinking of the four girls in Little Women. And both of those families were poor,” you corrected her before you could stop yourself. Your mother threw you a glare, but then ignored you, choosing instead of focus on getting everyone out the door and to the gala.

-------------------------

The night didn’t get any easier once you were there. It was just like all of the other events you had attended at the Vineyard. A bunch of snobby people you had known since you were little pretending to like each other. It was the first event you had attended since joining the BAU. You passed the time profiling whoever your mother was talking to. She seemed determined to keep you with her at all times tonight. It was becoming increasingly apparent why.

“So what did you think about the Malcolm boy?” she asked as said boy walked away.

“I thought he was boring. And I think you should stop trying to set me up with all of the men at this party.”

“I’m not trying to set you up with all the men. Just the single ones who are around your age.” You tried to respond, but your mother was already off to the next man, dragging you along behind her.

“Thomas,” she called, approaching a group. Your breath caught as the man turned around. “Y/N, you remember Thomas Barnes?” You smiled politely, though you wanted nothing more than to wring your mother’s neck.

“Of course,” you replied tersely. Your smile became much more genuine when you met Tommy’s eyes.

“That’s a relief,” he joked. “We only dated for six years.” The two of you embraced warmly. It was the first time you had seen him since you broke up. He looked even better than he had back then. “How’s the FBI? I don’t know how you do it. I get nervous just reading about your cases.”

“You read about my cases?” you asked in surprise. Part of you had always assumed that Tommy would resent you for joining the FBI. After all, that was what had caused you to break up after you both graduated from college.

“Of course! I get to brag about how my ex girlfriend is a badass FBI agent. It gets my friends to shut up when they start telling me that I was an idiot for letting you go.” You were so caught up in your conversation that you didn’t even notice your mother slipping away into the crowd, a pleased look on her face. She had never made it a secret that breaking up with Tommy was the worst mistake you ever made as far as she was concerned. Joining the FBI was a close second.

You cleared your throat a bit uncomfortably. “The FBI is good. Keeps me busy. This is the first time I’ve seen my family in months.”

“Oh, I can let you get back to them.”

Your hand shot out to grab his arm as he began to turn away. “Please don’t,” you begged. When Tommy laughed it felt like you were kids again, sneaking champagne glasses when your parents weren’t looking. “How’s New York? I’ll admit that I don’t read about your financial world, but I hear you’re doing very well in it.”

“New York is good. We don’t have to talk about my job. It’s boring.” The two of you stood in an awkward silence for a few seconds. You tried to ignore some part of your brain that was telling you that there were eyes on you. No doubt your family was watching you like a hawk. Not to mention all of the other guests who were probably curious about the FBI agent. “I heard that Kelly is engaged. Tell her congrats.”

“I will. So anyone back in New York? I’m hoping that my mother hasn’t resorted to trying to set me up with men who aren’t single.”

“No. No one in New York. You know, my parents tell me all the time that I should have married you when I had the chance. They want grandkids.”

“I get that. My sisters have the grandkids taken care of already, but my mother won’t rest until I’m finally married too.”

The two of you laughed and chatted. It was strange. It felt like no years had passed and suddenly you were eighteen again, but it also felt like there was some unspoken gap between you two now. Despite all of your history, your lives had taken you to such different places. Still, it was nice to have a friendly face.

Tommy sighed before taking a big gulp of his champagne. Your stomach suddenly twisted when you realized what he was about to do. “I should have just said screw it to New York and moved to DC with you. I was an idiot for letting you go. And none of my relationships have worked out because I think I’m still in love with you.”

Any words that you could have said were stuck in your throat. You thought about how you had turned down a position in the New York field office after you graduated from the academy because you didn’t want to be tempted to go back to Tommy. You thought about how you had turned down the chance to run the New York field office a month before you made it into the BAU. And suddenly, you were thinking about Spencer. How he smelled like coffee and old books all the time. How fun it was to annoy him by arguing about the interpretation of books. How cute he looked when he was working on a particularly hard crossword. How he was looking right at you right now.

You blinked in surprise. Across the room was Spencer Reid. Standing there in a suit like it was obvious that he was supposed to be here. Surely that wasn’t real. It had to be your brain playing tricks on you. Why would Spencer be here?

“Y/N?” Your eyes snapped back to Tommy before flicking back over to where Spencer was standing. There was no one there. Shaking your head a bit, you focused on Tommy again.

“I...I, uh…” You just couldn’t say any words. Tommy’s face fell as your mouth continued to open and close.

“Hey, sweet thing.” An arm was casually thrown around your shoulders, causing Tommy to frown at the man now standing next to you. You didn’t even need to look to know who it was, though it made no sense for him to be there. “I think we need to talk.”

“Hey man, leave her alone,” Tommy said, puffing out his chest a bit. Your heart warmed a little bit for Tommy, who was trying so hard to seem like he could protect you.

“It’s okay,” you told him, causing him to frown even more, before turning. “Derek, what are you doing here?”

“Come with me and I’ll tell you.” The look in Derek’s eyes made it clear: this was not something Tommy, or any of the people eavesdropping, should hear.

“Y/N, do I need to get security?”

“No, Tommy. This is my friend Derek. I have to go. I’ll see you later.” Before Tommy could say anything else, Derek was leading you away from the party and into the kitchens, where the rest of your team was gathered.

“If you missed me this much you could have just asked me to meet you for the case,” you said as they looked up at you.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” JJ asked. Her eyes widened as she took in your dress. “Are you a guest?”

“My mother organized this gala. I have to be here. What are you guys doing here?” You didn’t need to ask. You knew what the answer would be.

“Trying to catch a serial killer.” Hotch’s face was as stoic as ever as he answered. “Morgan, did you see anything?”

“No. Reid is still out there, but I saw Y/N and thought that we should bring her up to speed. She could have some valuable information about the unsub. I also thought that she could use an excuse to get away from lover boy out there.”

You groaned as everyone raised their eyebrows. “My ex just told me he still loves me, but I think we should focus on the serial killer first.”

JJ pulled out a picture of the unsub. “She’s been killing men around New York City that we believe are surrogates for a man here. The overkill is getting worse, so she’s devolving. We think that tonight is her endgame. Profile says she’s after an ex boyfriend.”

“We haven’t been able to find her here though,” Emily added.

You kept looking at the familiar face. “Yeah and you won’t. She’s banned.”

“What do you mean?”

You looked at Hotch. “Two months ago she caused a big scene at a charity auction. She’s been blacklisted from basically all events thrown at the Vineyard. My sister was telling me about her a few weeks ago.”

“The killings started two months ago. Y/N, do you know why she caused a scene?”

You shook your head. “Something about her ex being there. I don’t know who her ex is though.”

JJ pulled out another picture and handed it to you. A string of curses fell out of your mouth.

“What’s wrong?” Emily asked urgently.

“This is my sister’s fiance.” Everyone’s faces paled. Your mind started running a million miles a minute. “They got engaged two months ago. She had to have been stalking him to know that, though. They didn’t tell anyone until today. They didn’t even tell my family until this morning. I have to go find Kelly.”

“Morgan, go with her. Prentiss, JJ, and I will come up with a plan in here and let security know what’s going on. If you see Reid, get him up to speed, but don’t be suspicious.” Everyone nodded as Hotch gave the orders. You were a little grateful when Derek took her arm, steadying you as you wanted to rush out to get to you little sister. But it was important that you look like nothing was wrong. While the unsub shouldn’t be able to get inside, that didn’t always stop them.

Derek, like Spencer, was dressed in a suit, so he didn’t stand out. The two of you meandered through the room in search of your sister and her fiance. Finally, you managed to locate them. Of course, your mother was with them too. Her eyes lit up when she saw you walking arm in arm with Derek.

“This is my coworker-” you began before your mother cut you off.

“You must be Spencer Reid, the hot genius my daughter was talking about earlier.” Your cheeks felt like they were on fire and you could basically feel the grin on Derek’s face.

“Spencer Reid the hot genius?” he questioned, turning to look at you. You refused to meet his eyes, but you knew that he wouldn’t let it go later.

“First, Rachel doesn’t know what she was talking about. Second, this is Derek Morgan.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all. I can see where Y/N gets her beauty.” You elbowed Derek, but the damage was done. Your mother would definitely try to set you up with him.

You looked at Kelly’s fiance. “Have you seen your ex here?” He looked caught off guard by the question, which was fair to be honest. Kelly looked furious.

“I can’t believe you. Are you trying to ruin our night? You know that she can’t be here after that fit she threw a few months ago.”

“We also know that she has been murdering men who look like your fiance, and she’s probably here tonight. Does anyone want a drink?” You followed Derek’s eyeline to the bar, where Spencer was standing.

“Do you need help with the drinks?” your father asked. It wasn’t clear whether he was trying to be helpful or whether he just wanted an escape from the serial killer conversation.

“I’ll find some help at the bar,” Derek told him. Then he was off, leaving you with your family.

“Are you saying my ex is here to kill me?” You met his eyes, a look of practiced sympathy on your face.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. My team is here to make sure that doesn’t happen. So I need you to tell me everything that happened with your breakup. My team will be listening.” You brushed your hair slightly to show the earpiece you had picked up when you were in the kitchen. “I also need you to act like everything is fine. Grab Kelly’s hand and smile.”

Thankfully, he seemed to understand the importance of what you were saying. The quick explanation was nothing that the team didn’t already know, but it was helpful to hear it in his own words. Maybe there was something in there that could help them. Kelly’s glare continued to be fixed on you, but that was kind of normal. If anyone saw anything, they might think that it was just two sisters fighting.

“Is that the only reason you came?” your mother asked once he was done. “You’re just using us to catch a killer?”

“Be quiet.” It was hard to force the words out without breaking your pleasant smile. You let your eyes harden for a second as your mother met your eyes. It was the same look that had made a number of unsubs confess during an interrogation, but it was the first time you had used it on your mother. “I didn’t know that my team’s new case was here. I came to this stupid gala because you asked me to. Now I need all of you to pretend like everything is fine.”

“Drinks for everyone. And I found an extra set of hands to help me at the bar.” Derek and Spencer passed everyone a glass. As he handed one to you, Spencer let his other hand rest on your lower back for a moment. His eyes seemed to ask you a question. Are you okay? You nodded once. Your mother, of course, was looking quickly between the two of you.

“Is this one Spencer?” she asked. You had to press her eyes closed tightly to keep yourself from glaring at her again. Someone was trying to murder her future son-in-law and she was still worried about setting you up.

“Yes, this is our resident hot genius,” Derek answered. You both ignored Spencer’s “What?” as you turned to Derek.

“Morgan, go with my parents to get my other sisters. If the unsub gets desperate, she could go for them. Reid and I will stay here. Thank god the kids aren’t here.”

“Kids?” Spencer asked as your mother led Derek away. Despite the threat to your family, she continued to pause to give a quick words or smile to her acquaintances. She certainly played her job of host well.

“My niece and nephew. They’re at home with a nanny. My other sisters are pregnant though. I want to make sure they’re safe in case anything happens.”

“How many sisters do you have?” Spencer asked at the same time Kelly questioned, “Aren’t you going to get us out of here? I mean, there’s a psycho on the loose.”

“The profile actually doesn’t suggest that she’s a psychopath.” That did little to calm Kelly, but it was a typical Reid response.

“I have three sisters, Reid. Kelly, we can’t get you out of here without setting the unsub off. If she thinks that you know anything is going on or that she’s losing her chance to get even, she could devolve even more and this could all get much worse. We have to keep you here, pretend everything is fine, and catch her before she has a chance to hurt anyone. If you see the unsub, don’t react. Just calmly tell us where she is. Reid and I will be right here.” The tone of your voice made Kelly’s eyes narrow. It was the tone you had always used when you both were younger and you were telling Kelly to do her homework or to pick up her mess. Now it was also the voice you used when you were trying to calm down a victim while still trying to get them to do as you told them.

Still, she listened to you. If anyone had looked at her, holding onto her fiance’s arm and sipping champagne as she gave a running commentary of everyone’s outfits, they wouldn’t have thought anything was wrong. The fashion commentary was a good excuse to inspect everyone, so you put on your best snooty face and critiqued accessories with your sister. It was hard not to focus on Spencer. After seeing you act like this, would it change his opinion of you? Would he think that you were just some spoiled rich kid? You hoped not.

After a few minutes, your parents and Derek returned. “Your sisters are on their way back to the house now. Officers will be staying with them until we catch the unsub.” You nodded a thanks to Derek. “Mrs. Y/L/N, the security knew explicitly not to let her in, right?” They were well aware now, but it was important to rule out her points of entry from earlier in the night.

“Of course.” She said it like it was an insult to her to even think that security might have let her in.

“It’s not that hard to sneak in. All it takes is a decent wig, some colored contacts, and maybe a new makeup style. It probably wouldn’t fool the guests for long, but it would get you past security.” Kelly nodded in agreement. It wasn’t uncommon for teenagers to try to see how long they could stay inside without getting caught by someone they knew. All of your sisters had done it many times growing up.

“Everyone here knows about her, though,” your mother protested. You nodded in agreement. “If she did sneak in here using a wig, someone would recognize her within minutes. They’d tell me.”

“So it’s unlikely the unsub came in that way,” Derek concluded. “What about the back? Guests can wander the garden and there’s no security at the back door. If the unsub climbed the wall, she could get in through the back easily.”

“The wall is ten feet high. It would require athletic ability that the profile doesn’t suggest the unsub has to get over it. And even if she did, her hair would be covered in leaves or vines. Her dress might be ripped. It would ruin her appearance, so she couldn’t blend in.”

“Actually, Reid, you don’t have to climb the fence. There’s a gate along the southern wall. It’s hidden a bit by some bushes. Teenagers use it to sneak out of boring events here. The unsub would probably know about it. I remember seeing her around when we were younger.”

“You get that, Hotch?” The three of you heard your boss’s affirmative. They would go check the gate to see if it looked like anyone had used it that night. Until then, there was nothing your group could do except look for the unsub.

“You know, this isn’t what I imagined when I thought about meeting your family,” Reid said quietly to you. Not quietly enough, though. You could almost see her mom’s ears perk up, like she was a dog who had just heard the word treat.

“You’ve thought about meeting my family?” Reid’s face turned red as he realized what he had just said. The butterflies in your stomach made you almost forget about the serial killer on the loose, but you blamed that on all of the champagne you had earlier in the night.

“It seems to happen sooner or later with this team. I guess I just hoped I, the team really, would meet your family because you were giving them a tour of the office or something. I should know better, though. I didn’t meet Morgan’s family until he was arrested.”

“Wrongfully arrested,” Derek interjected, more for your family’s benefit than yours or Spencer’s.

“You know, Spencer, I’m throwing a wonderful fundraiser at an art gallery in the city next month. You should have Y/N bring you.” It was a testament to your mother’s persistence that she continued to worry about your love life even when your sister’s fiance was being targeted by a serial killer. Of course, she was also probably trying to pad the guest list.

“I’m not going to that,” you told her. “I already told you multiple times. Besides, we’ll probably have a case.”

“Hopefully not at the fundraiser,” your mother huffed. Her face brightened again. You didn’t like the sly look she shot at Spencer. A voice crackled in your ear. The gate was open. The unsub was probably here. The three of you perked up slightly, eyes focused on the crowd around you.

Of course, your mother didn’t know the news you had just received, so she continued. “Y/N, I saw Thomas when we were looking for your sisters. He looked quite glum. He asked me to tell you that he wanted to finish your conversation from earlier before you leave. You two were looking very cozy. It reminded me of old times.”

“That conversation is already finished. I don’t have an answer that he’d like.” You felt Spencer jerk slightly when he interpreted the meaning of your words. He had seen you two together. He knew from your body language during that conversation that you were comfortable with Tommy.

“I will never understand why you didn’t just move to New York with Tommy after college. You could be married with kids by now, you know. That boy was mad about you. Goody Williams says that he still is. I haven’t been able to get his mother to confirm it, but you should see her face any time you get mentioned. Oh, you two would have been such a successful match. Such a shame.”

“Quiet,” you hissed, not because of how tense Spencer had suddenly gotten, but because of the face you had finally spotten. “Unsub is wearing a black dress. She’s across the room, heading this way. Stay behind us.” You turned to look at your sister and her fiance. The profile suggested that the unsub would be focused on the fiance, but considering how much she had devolved, you had to be prepared for her to lash out at your sister.

You could see security moving in on her as she made her way across the large room. They weren’t being subtle about it, but she seemed too focused on the man behind you to notice them. You could see the rest of your team moving towards her too. Just a few more seconds and Hotch would reach her.

It was unclear whether the unsub realized she had been caught or whether she couldn’t wait any longer to strike. Suddenly, she was holding a gun. You could see Derek and Spencer both reacting beside you. Your hand immediately went to your waist, where your own gun would normally be sitting. Of course, you didn’t have it though. It wasn’t exactly black tie appropriate.

They wouldn’t have a clean shot. There were too many people between them and the unsub. But through some bad luck, the unsub had an almost clean shot of Kelly’s fiance. The only thing standing in her way was you.

Some part of you minds realized all of that in the fraction of a second it took for the unsub to shoot. Without thinking, you pushed Kelly’s fiance to the floor, waiting for the bullet to strike you instead of him.

But the bullet never got to you.

Instead, Spencer was on the floor in front of you. You dropped to your knees as Derek tackled the unsub before she could get off another shot. You barely even heard the screams around you as you ripped open Spencer’s shirt.

A kevlar vest.

A sigh of relief escaped your mouth. The tension left your shoulders as you helped Spencer sit up.

“Thank god you’re wearing a vest,” you said. Spencer’s eyes met yours and your breath was taken away by the earnestness in them.

“I would have done it even if I wasn’t.” His voice was quiet. Serious. No one was meant to hear his words but you. In that moment, you didn’t care whether or not your mother was listening. You didn’t even know if she was still standing there or if she had already been led away.

“You would have jumped in front of a bullet even if you weren’t wearing a vest? Spence, do you know how stupid that is?”

“I’d do anything for you.” The two of you just stared at each other. You had never heard Spencer sound that vulnerable. Your hands found his, squeezing tight. You had to make sure that this was real. This was real life. You hadn’t been shot and this wasn’t some cruel trick your brain was playing on you before it shut off.

A look of panic shot across Spencer’s face when he realized what he had said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I think it’s just the adrenaline from, you know, jumping in front of a bullet. I’ll go. You probably want to finish your conversation with Thomas.” He stood up quickly, and you followed. Neither one of you let go of the other’s hand.

Instead, you pulled him closer to you, your other hand grabbing his suit jacket, like you were trying to make sure he couldn’t run away. And maybe you were. You wouldn’t put it past Spencer to try to run away from this. To just ignore it. He would show up for work on Monday and act like he had never said anything.

But that wasn’t what you wanted. And you didn’t think it was really what he wanted either.

“Do you want to get dinner sometime?” The shocked look on Spencer’s face made you laugh.

“Like a date?”

You nodded, smiling widely at him. “Like a date.” Spencer’s grin melted your heart. He nodded eagerly before wrapping you in his arms.

“I still think she should have married Thomas when she had the chance. I guess a genius will do, though. At least he’s handsome,” you could hear your mother saying. Of course her voice managed to make itself heard among all of the other conversation ringing through the room. But you didn’t really care at that moment. All that mattered was Spencer.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x y/n #CalWrites

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infinites-chaser · 3 years ago

Text

this life not yet saved | tears of themis | mo yi

(not yet)

title from the poem by geffrey davis

spoilers for mo yi's medieval suspense date!

warnings for uh. blood. non-linear, fragmented narratives. quotes from tenet (2020). u know the vibes.

it's like this: you see her,

the cards fall,

face up, they’re vatican lily white, all hearts, all stark blood-red,

you ask her about time, about knowing the ending before the story’s begun. if it changes anything. if it changes her.

and you think, you have spoken these words before. in a dream. in a past long gone. in a not-so-distant future.

you still don’t know her answer. you dream many things, only, not this.

because you do not want her to be everything you've ever dreamed of—

(what's the use of a dream if it ends. if at the end, you'll always have to wake up.)

—you need her to be more.

(she is.)

she speaks. she speaks, and the world shifts around her.

the only constant in the world is change, she says. I believe we shape our own fates.

and what does it mean for your one tenet to be something uncertain, to be uncertainty itself, to have faith in the ever-changing?

all of the world’s absolutes and it’s easy to forget: it means being alive.

it means being fated to an ending, fighting it still. it means being human.

it means this: you fall.

the cards fall first, but you fall deeper.

(you always have. you always will.)

this is goodbye, she says. and though her cheeks are tearstained, she's calm in front of you.

you reach for her hand, hold it close.

no happy endings? you ask, smile rueful. she shakes her head, draws back, eyes gentle, words firm.

no happy lies.

but, first. the middle:

you steal her lips by candlelight, steal more.

come the edge of dawn, she steals a kiss in return, chaste, on the cheek. steals a lily from the vase by your bed, steals out of the room back to hers, and when she leaves, she takes your heart with her.

it beats faster these days. at the thought of her, you can't keep still.

stolen time, you think, but her head's pillowed gentle on your chest, her breaths coming and going in time with yours, she murmurs low and sweet, nudges closer, and you think no more.

what do you think is the most sensitive part of the body, she asks, her fingers stroking slow contemplative circles up and around your back,

the fingers? she asks, and hers skim along the base of your spine, you inhale sharp,

the neck? you counter, and trace your hand up to steal between her shoulder blades, tease gentle up the back of her neck to the edge of her hair, cradle close her head, coax it up towards yours,

the lips, she whispers, and let yours meet hers.

later, she says:

we're both wrong.

hm?

the most sensitive part, she says, her eyes on yours warm and endless, you could drown in their depths,

it's always been the heart.

and you do not like to admit it, you hardly admit it to yourself, but the heart of you has gone sharp with hunger, this empty that'll never be filled, not with all the knowledge of humans and the earth, not with anything of this earth, human or otherwise, you have had enough of ration and reason and logic, the thing you are starving for demands more, more than any set of rules, anything straightforward, anything solvable, you want your world to be shaken, you want logic to be wrong, gravity defied,

and so you live your life wanting,

wanting and wanting and wanting,

and you think you will die from it— wanting that something, that someone who will be enough to match you, who will be more,

you want more. you want to be more.

you’re not sure which is which anymore.

late nights you spend studying, she reads anatomy over your shoulder, learns it with you.

you speak to her, bright-eyed, about medicine. about the power of understanding the workings of humans, what it could do for humanity, what it could do for the world.

you speak to her, and she listens. offers suggestions. thoughts. offers ideas. together, you stitch together a vision of hope. of futures to come.

you stitch your patients, she says, you and your science, stitch the world back together,

then she reaches, teasing, around your neck, tugs your scarf free before you can move.

I'll stitch this for you. stitch something true.

what's this, you ask, one night before the middle's over, peering low over her shoulder. she frowns and swats at you with her embroidery.

I told you, it's for you, she says, if you don't ruin my concentration first!

for me?

for remembrance.

but this is just our beginning, you say with a chuckle.

she smiles then, soft, somehow sad.

she leaves it atop your pillow at morning's first light: your scarf stitched carefully, covered in lilies, vatican white.

white lilies? you remember asking, once and long ago.

they're my favorite, she'd replied.

they're for the vatican, you think. faith. purity. death.

and she's going to die tonight. one death if she's lucky. two if the duke's idea of magic works.

she's going to die. you'll stop burning. you'll never feel alive like this again.

you wear her scarf to save her. the old duke topples. you poison him. but she's crumpled on the floor, there's bruises on her wrists and her face is a pale, bloodless white, the hair of her elegant updo twisting ragged tangled—

you see red.

you stab him once, stab him again for good measure. imagine blood spreading across his waistcoat, vatican lily white turned deep and crimson,

and you'd like to think it feels like freedom, to watch his breathing slow, but she's limp in your arms, skirts dragging across the black magic sigils written hasty on the floor, and you know: this is your fate, you've been destined to this since the start, doomed to this,

doomed by her,

if that were the ending, you say, would you refuse? would you give up on the truth and embrace darkness together?

she tells you no.

and when she wakes, you already know the choice she'll make. she won't choose you.

(it's why you chose her. it's why you always will.)

so you hold her close,

stay by her side, her hand in yours, her heart, her ideals, her justice shining bright—

'til the day she lets go.

you're at a banquet with the old duke and he's told you, boyish eager, that he's found her: the girl with the face of his lost love.

you're at a banquet, you watch as he approaches her, from afar,

and you do not like to think you have anything in common with your foster father, but you watch and you think you understand. out of everyone at the gathering, she alone shines bright.

you want to retreat further, to observe. hypotheses tested. conclusions formed. but the old duke's beckoning you over, her eyes, sharp and curious, are too, and you follow.

my son, the old duke says, but you don't hear the rest.

it's like this: your existence in that moment is only for her,

and she smiles, laughs, glances up to meet your gaze with hers, sharp and joyful bright— and it takes you by surprise, like nothing else, like she's something unexplainable, something alchemists could spend their lives chasing after, that the vatican could worship, devote a lonely life to, something close to divinity, this feeling that makes your heartbeat near painful, makes your breathing burning, as if your veins had turned liquid gold in her light—

and you think you will die from it— it makes you weak, it makes you that maybe there is someone who is enough, who you do not deserve but be could enough for,

(someone,

and it's her.)

but what scares you, thrills you, intrigues you most

is that it feels familiar, somehow, the way it burns

as if all along your heart had known it was meant to burn,

meant for her,

(it was.)

Lady Viscount, you say, head bowed low before her, her fingers fluttering just the slightest under the brush of your lips,

Duke, she replies, breathless, though she doesn't draw back.

may I interest you in a game, you ask. her head tilts.

what kind?

a game of stories, you say. of fate and future.

it's simple, you say. it's a leap of faith.

you fall first. I fall deeper.

she laughs.

if you win, she says, I'll owe you a dance.

and her hand's still in yours, it makes you weak, it makes you reckless, but you hold your tongue and only smile in return.

if you win, you think, my fate is yours.

neither of you let go.

#val writes #tears of themis #tears of themis mo yi #tears of themis vyn #noT me asking for prompts then writing nOne of them and coming up with this instead ahdjsjsjs #just have. many. medieval suspense feelings mixing w tenet feelings;;; where else am i supposed to put my narrative tragedy brainrot down #anyway. i blame this entirely on christopher nolan if u do not understand pls take it up w him bc i barely understood tenet either

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sheadre · 4 years ago

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Aurora Borealis (Jiang Cheng x Reader) Part Five

Summary: Zhu Ran'En (Reader) the imperial princess, was sent into exile for a crime she did not commit. Meeting Jiang Wanyin, the Yunmeng Jiang sect’s leader was not just a chance meeting. Their fates were written in the stars however, her relations to the royal family will never let her live in peace. How will she manage to save the kingdom while trying to keep Jiang Wanyin away from the snakes of the royal family?

Word Count: 3076

Warnings: fluff, romance, blood and violence, idiots in love

Previous Chapter - Series Masterlist

Preparations for the arriving attack were made and now you waited nervously for everything to play into completion. The calm mask you wore usually was nowhere to be seen, it was replaced with a deep frown on your delicate face. Jiang Wanyin haven’t said anything ever since you showed him your curse but did not treat you differently. It felt like he accepted that as a fact about you and that was that. The dark dragon’s powers provided you with the ability to use resentful energy for cultivation. It was a legend, a myth circling around the kingdom since decades. Your mother used to tell tales about the mighty dark dragon who protected the kingdom from the northern tribes’ attacks.

You remembered when you begged the Heavens to give you enough power to bring peace to the kingdom and stop your cousin and uncle in destroying it completely. That night was quiet when you decided to spend three nights and days praying in the temple. The last night was the hardest as you knelt there without eating or drinking anything. Your lips were chapped and dry, your bones hurting and your skin prickling with how long it’s been since you last washed your face properly. Your eyes kept drooping as you knelt, murmuring prayers to the heavens. Suddenly, the candles at the altar were blown out by the strong wind hitting you as well and knocking you off balance as you knelt. Tears that stayed unshed now rolled down your cheeks and you quickly wiped at them as you tried to get your bearings back. Suddenly, a hand reached out for your hand. A white, pale hand with slender fingers, a white sleeve ending at the wrist of the person standing in front of you. You looked up in surprise as the person seemed to almost glow. You were greeted with a handsome young man smiling softly at you. His face looked so feminine that you could’ve mistaken him as a woman if he would wear a nice hanfu and some make-up.

“I heard your prayers, your highness” he spoke softly, kindness radiating from his heavenly presence. His voice was gentle like velvet, caressing your ears with every word he spoke.

“W-Who are you?” you asked confused. “How did you get in the palace?”

“I am Xie Lian, your highness, I came in behalf of the Heaven’s Court” he explained patiently. You accepted his hand to help you up but pulled your hand back once you were standing on your feet.

“Why?” you asked again even more confused. Why was a heaven official here and what did he want? You prayed for inner power to defeat the evil, confidence in yourself and strength to move forward even when you’re knocked down. You were so confused, you didn’t even question if he was some lunatic or was talking the truth.

“You prayed for it yourself” another male’s voice scoffed from the side. Your head whipped to the figure who was leaning against a pillar lazily. He was dressed in red clothes, his hair let down freely and a black eyepatch hiding one of his eyes. His presence felt… dark.

“You wished for powers to protect the weak and I was sent to grant your wish” Xie Lian smiled at you gently. You took a step back unbelieving of what was happening. How could you be worthy of the heaven’s attention like this? You wanted will power, not real power. Seeing the frightened expression on your face, Xie Lian took a step closer and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “The Heavenly Emperor sent me himself and he has a good reason to do so.”

“What reason?” you asked curious. Imagining heaven to have no snakes in the court would’ve been a careless thought, outright stupidity but while people live on the earth, they only care about their petty lives. Xie Lian smiled uneasily and sighed.

“That is unfortunately-“

“You’ll realize how shitty is the afterlife, princess, once you pass on” the other man huffed his handsome face in a scowl interrupting the man dressed in white. You narrowed your eyes at him, eyebrows furrowed but only rolled your eyes in the end at how he was speaking.

“San Lang! Do not be rude to the princess!” the official scolded the red clothed man.

“It does not matter, I have been through worse…” you sighed heavily, tired of everything. You had no energy left as you have been feeling agitated these last few months. No matter how you tried, you couldn’t get everything back to the way they were. It seemed like everything was trying to bring you down. “What do I have to do?”

“Are you this willing to accept such a curse?!” San Lang huffed in disbelief, his eyebrow raising on his forehead high. His chuckle was both mocking and disbelieving as he shook his head. You smiled at him sadly and nodded.

“I may end up in a bad situation but I am ready to protect those who I care about” you said, your heart thumping hard in your chest with determination. You were ready, no matter what you had to do. You had nothing else to lose, your life was not a big prize in exchange of the lives of thousands. “The evil my uncle and cousin are trying to bring onto the kingdom needs to be stopped.”

“Close your eyes, your highness” Xie Lian said and you obliged. You felt the tip of his index finger press against your forehead in the middle before you felt energy surge into your body. You distinctly heard his voice murmur words but everything was a blur. The next time you opened your eyes and everything seemed normal was the next morning. You were woken up by Lili who ushered you back to your quarters while most of the palace was still asleep.

A hand on your shoulder made you jump with a start, surprising you out of your memories. You looked up to see Wei Wuxian look at you confused and worried. His dark eyebrows drawn together as his lips parted to say something in case you wouldn’t recognize him. Your lips pulled into a smile as you motioned for him to join you at the small table by the lake you chose to spend your breakfast at.

“Wei gongzi” you greeted. “Would you like some tea? Or… wine?” you pulled out a small bottle of Emperor’s Smile from your sleeve looking around. “Jiang sect leader forbid everyone from drinking in Yunmeng. But I asked Lili to stash away one for me.”

“Sometimes I do wonder if you’re truly a princess, your highness” Wei Ying chuckled as he accepted the bottle. “Have your highness left all manners of a lady behind in the palace?”

“Sometimes we have to leave manners when it comes to business” you winked at him before both of you let out a mirthful laugh. It was easy being around him, Wei Wuxian was nice and kindhearted even if he tended to hide his concern or pain behind indifference or jokes.

“What kind of business, your highness? Are you implying about asking for my brother’s hand in marriage?” he raised one of his eyebrows playfully. “His heart is already yours, your highness.”

“We always talk about me asking Jiang Wanyin’s hand but shouldn’t he be the one to ask for mine?” you sighed with a sad smile. For the first time in a while, you admitted to someone that you truly cared for the sect leader. Wei Wuxian’s eyes looked at you with curiosity.

“But would you?” his head was tilted to the side. “If his stubborn ass refuses to?”

“That is much more complicated than just a proposal, Wei Ying” you shook your head. “I’m a fugitive, sent into exile, a princess out of the emperor’s favors. Besides… I’m not sure I will live long enough to become a good wife.”

“In the end the only thing that matters is what you feel” the Yiling Patriarch smiled at you with a pain in his brown eyes you were familiar with. “Look at me and Lan Zhan, your highness. Even if I became the villain so others could live peacefully, even if I sacrificed everything, I ended up with the one I was meant to be with.”

“It is still not the same” you chuckled sadly. “Especially because it’s not a hundred percent sure that someone will resurrect me after I die.”

“Who knows?” he grinned at you and lifted his cup before downing its contents. “If you have a good enough reputation?”

Later ~

Dark clouds gathered up above Yunmeng when a disciple ran back through the gates with caution and urgency. He reported seeing the soon arriving army of the three generals. You chewed on your lip with your heart beating fast in your chest. Lili was still away and you had no idea if she managed to get a word with Xiao Pei.

Yunmeng alone wasn’t enough to defend the kingdom and stop the generals. The wait was excruciating as you stood with Jiang Wanyin in the main garden. Both of you were tense as the overwhelming silence stretched between you. It was similar to when you awaited the next showdown between you and your cousin. A sizzling, tight tension that could blow up in a second. Though this time you were standing on the same side with this man.

“Wanyin” you spoke up suddenly. Calling him by his name was not uncommon from you and it always drew his attention to you. Oh, how you loved it when his brown eyes found your form. You stepped closer to him when he turned to you with a frown on his handsome face. “If we survive this… you can ask anything of me. I will do as you say for I am already in debt to you. You’ve given me much help already and I want to express my gratitude.”

“Anything? Are you sure?” his lips pulled into a small almost invisible smile. “I ask you to stay alive. You have much to accomplish on this world, besides… who could beat a dragon, your highness?”

“It is a curse, A-Cheng” you scolded playfully. “Though, I have to admit you have a point. It would be much more easier if I could just scorch the enemy to death with my breath, no?”

You saw the excitement and childlike glee in his eyes at that idea making you laugh mirthfully. You’ve never been so smitten with another person like this. Wanyin was fascinating in every sense for you and you couldn’t help but want to explore all of his buttons by pushing them as far as you could.

“You’d like to see that, don’t you, A-Cheng?” you chuckled making his face grow red as he crossed his arms in front of his chest huffing in embarrassment.

“Just follow our plans, your highness and nothing will go wrong” Wanyin huffed impatiently making you smile fondly. His light blush covering his cheeks told you how embarrassed he was in your presence. Up until you revealed your true nature, Wanyin was struggling to figure out a good plan of attack, his only plans were of defense. Telling him about the full extent of your powers made him let you change some of the battle plans. As you looked at him, your heart started aching knowing that even if he accepted you for who you became, you could still not give him what both you and him wanted. You knew you were soulmates but this lifetime, you were fated to not have an ending together.

Your ears picked up the sound of drums and the marching of soldiers making your heart thump harder against your ribcage. Both of you unsheathed your swords, bodies tense, ready to attack any minute. The enemy soon appeared at the gates Yunmeng Jiang disciples trying to fight them back. Running through the gates, you were soon faced with the first attackers. They were wearing silver armor, crying out to urge themselves into battle while lifting their swords high. Dancing through the onslaught of soldiers was easy, cutting them fatally with every step. Blood splattered on your face and clothes as you moved forward. You were aware of how far you’ve broke into their forces, a lone flower in the sea of weed. Most of the soldiers just went forward without really noticing you unless you were right in front of them. You glanced back at Wanyin when you had a moment to gasp a breath of air in without anyone attacking you.

He nodded at you from afar signaling for you to make your next move. Sheathing your sword, you quickly raised a dark black fog as wide as you could around your form. It was one of your abilities, the HeiWu 黑雾 was one of your favorite tricks. It was harmless but made the enemy blind as long as they were surrounded by the fog. You watched the soldiers of the enemy lose their sense of direction and walk around aimlessly, their faces shocked and terrified. You didn’t need to do anything because the moment they noticed someone get close to them, they cut down their own comrades. Leaving them to kill each other, you walked out of the fog to see Jiang Wanyin still struggling to keep the enemy back. There were many casualties on both sides and a sense of regret filled your heart. So many lives lost to a handful of people’s power hunger. Taking out your erhu, you started playing E’meng keeping a bunch of soldiers behind an invisible wall. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you watched them hold their heads in agony from the notes of your song. Fortunately, the song’s effect was only strong enough to make them pass out.

You suddenly heard battle drums play out a new rhythm and a new wave of soldiers ran out from the enemy’s side. Your eyes widened knowing that they were too close or rather you were too close to the enemy. You wouldn’t have time to retreat back to your side. You were about to start a new song when you were pierced through the chest with an arrow. You blinked a few times in shock until the pain registered in your senses. You lifted a hand to the bleeding wound, your fingers painted with your blood. Before you could do anything, you were yanked backward, strong arms circling your torso, pulling you into a firm chest. The smell of magnolias and the imperial court’s luxurious oolong tea – that was specifically made for only the royal family – filled your nostrils.

“Xiao Pei” you mumbled surprised as you clutched onto your old friend while he held you. He was flying through the sky back to Jiang Wanyin but his hold on you was stable. His handsome face turned to you and a small smile graced his features as he looked back at you.

“I am here, Ran’En” he replied.

Jiang Cheng’s PoV.

The sect leader panted heavily as he slashed down another soldier charging towards him. Using Zidian helped him to thin the lines of the enemy. General Zhou, Li and Huang was attacking relentlessly. He was doubting those three really thought over what they were starting with a rebellion. Overthrowing the power of the emperor was not an easy feat, especially if they were doing it so openly by marching through the kingdom.

They were out of time, the enemy’s lines seemed to be never ending, soldiers swarming the place. Blood was staining the lotus pods’ water while dead bodies littered the courtyard. Yunmeng’s forces were pushed back that they were now trying to defend the walls and gates. He remembered the day the Wen sect massacred his family. Seeing his parents’ bloodied motionless bodies lying in front of Wen Chao’s feet. His hand clenched around the handle of Sandu as he gritted his teeth. The only difference between the past and the present was the fact that he was the one massacring an army that attacked Yunmeng.

“Jiang Cheng” Wei Wuxian pointed in front of him with furrowed eyebrows and slightly parted lips. Wanyin couldn’t determine if his brother was truly this stupid or just fooling around. They were in the middle of a battle and Wei Wuxian decided to point at the sky. He reluctantly looked up to see a man dressed in exquisite clothes fly through the sky with a woman in his arms. It took him a moment to realize who that woman was. He took a deep breath at seeing that she was safely back but cursed himself for letting her in on the planning. He never liked her idea of going into the enemy’s lines so far but her reasoning eased him into the idea.

The man dressed so expensively landed a few feet away from them. The princess pushed away from him and tried to stand on her feet but was clearly not able to. Wanyin looked at the woman in shock when he saw the arrow piercing through her chest. Everyone stood in shock as she fell to the ground coughing up blood. Wei Wuxian was the first to gain his bearings back and hurry over to help her.

“Ran’En!” the unfamiliar man’s voice thundered as she lied there. Wanyin turned to the newcomer who was wearing clothes from fine fabric showing how high in rank he was. The man crouched down to the princess and took her in his arms, lifting her up easily again. Wanyin had to admit, the stranger was handsome, an ethereal divine being from a fantasy novel. Thump. His heart clenched uneasily as he watched the man hold the princess in his arms like she was the most precious thing in the world. He couldn’t stand seeing the princess being so close to that man and Wanyin struggled to find an answer to why.

“Xiao Pei… Thank you for coming” the princess said weakly as blood dripped down her chin.

“Say no more, Ran’En” the man, Xiao Pei shushed her gently before turning to Wei Wuxian. “Get a healer! Now!”

Wanyin just stared at the two of them without his brain processing much of what was happening around him. He was the reason the princess was in that condition. He should’ve helped her, not nearly sacrifice her!

To be continued…

#jiang cheng x reader #jiang cheng #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #lan wangji x wei wuxian #wangxian #romance #fluff #idiots in love

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harrytpotter · 4 years ago

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A Dangerous Bet — Chapter Two.

Plot: A big change can make a person do crazy things. Take on dangerous bets. And that’s exactly what Y/N and Sirius Black did. Can a random and thoughtless occasion completely change two people’s lives?

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader.

Warnings: Sexual content.

A/N: Here is chapter two! Wrote it into late hours again, so sorry about any grammar mistakes! Hope you guys enjoy it.

As the week went by, Bentley and Clark weren’t exactly keeping a low profile and the entire school already knew they were having a fling. Your friends kept asking you how you were feeling, but you weren’t exactly sure. You did love Bentley during the time you were together, but part of the reason why you chose to break up with him, was because you didn’t love him like you used to. There was no spark anymore. No passion. It was just... boring.

“Guess that’s what happens when you grow apart and the feelings fade,” you thought by yourself as you were watching them kissing on a corner of the Gryffindor table at the Great Hall and realized it didn’t bother you at all.

“You’re staring,” Alice said into your year, startling you to the point you nearly dropped the mug you were holding and its entire content on yourself.

“I’m not,” you rolled your eyes annoyed.

“Yes, you were. Does it bother you? Seeing them snogging,” Marlene asked sympathetically.

Every pair of eyes belonging to your closest friends were on you, waiting for an answer. Each one studying you with persistence. Specially Sirius’.

“Do you still... love him?” He asked out of the blue, his brows furrowed and an unreadable expression on his face.

“I-“

“Why do you care?” Lily cut you off, sending him a threatening glare.

“I don’t,” he shrugged with a scrunched face. “I’m just worried, Y/N is one of my best mates after all.”

There. This definitely bothered you. Hearing Sirius saying he didn’t care did a lot more damage than seeing your ex’s tongue down the throat of another girl. You were one of his best friends and yet he didn’t care?

“How can you possibly not care if your best friend still loves a wanker like that?” James asked Sirius incredulously. “I know I do!” He added, looking at you and waiting for an answer.

“How about we just stop pressuring her and leave her be? I’m sure she’s got a lot on her plate already,” Lily said with an end-of-conversation tone.

Everyone slowly stopped staring at you and started chitchatting among them. Since no one was specifically talking to you, you started to get lost in your mind and your eyes once again wandered to Hogwarts’ newest happy couple. There was a time you truly believed Bentley was your soulmate and the two of you were meant to be. You used to think you were each other’s destiny. After crushing hard on Sirius Black for about a year without any sign of reciprocity, it was Bentley who had saved you from the hopeless feeling of seeing your best friend chasing girl after girl and breaking heart after heart and never noticing you were standing right there. It was him that helped you overcome this feeling. And now here you were, finding yourself uninterested in everything related to Bentley and playing with fire by having slept with Sirius. Six days ago you had your entire life planned out and now... now everything was just a mess.

Lily discreetly elbowed your ribs and motioned in Sirius’ direction. Turning your attention to him, you realized he had been observing you quite interested, not shying away from your inquisitive stare once caught red handed. You would keep staring back if it wasn’t from a dashing brunette Ravenclaw approaching him in a very flirty manner all of a sudden, causing him to break eye contact with you.

“Hey, you lush!” She said, licking her lips teasingly at him. You had to refrain yourself from rolling your eyes at the pathetic scene.

“Hello, you fit, fit woman,” he took her hand in his and placed a kiss on her knuckles ever so gently.

“Missed you at the last Gryffindor party, you were nowhere to be found when I arrived,” she started to play with his curls as she said so, a little pout on her lips.

Sirius’ eyes flickered with a devilishly mischievousness at her words as his eyes crashed into yours and a small smile quickly creeped on his lips. You had to look away abruptly to prevent your cheeks from heating up.

“Yeah, about that... I got heavily distracted,” he answered her, his eyes still on you.

“It must have been quite a distraction huh Pad!” James tapped on his shoulder in a congratulatory way. “You disappeared until the next morning.”

“So now ‘m a distraction,” you thought at yourself, feeling your blood boil inside your veins. Sure, you didn’t expect anything from him, but you surely expected a little more respect, you being his best friend and everything.

“Oh,” the brunette gasped, clearly unpleased at the boys’ remarks.

“Don’t worry, hun! He tosses his distractions away the next morning, you’ll still have your shot,” you shrugged sarcastically, entirely focused on the pudding you were eating.

Lily and Sirius stared at you mouth-widened as you calmly finished eating your dessert, completely unlikely the others, whom had exploded into a laughter, all assuming you were joking and teasing your friend as always, oblivious to what had happened between the two of you.

“Well, excuse me,” you said casually as you stood up and grabbed your bag after finishing your lunch.

Lily hinted to follow you, but you discreetly squeezed her shoulder, letting her now you needed some time alone to cool off. You could feel Sirius’ eyes burning holes in your back as you exited the table and, a few seconds later, the Great Hall.

You only stopped walking when you reached the clock tower courtyard, which was completely empty due to lunch time. You plopped yourself down on the edge of the antique fountain surrounded by statues of eagles and rested your elbows on your knees, your head still pounding of furiousness at Sirius’ words.

“Mind if I join you?” His voice echoed from beside you.

“Piss off, Sirius. I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now,” you said whilst closing your eyes and placing your fingers in the bridge of your nose.

“Shouldn’t I be the one mad here since you basically called me a rightful prick?” He chuckled.

“Right, because it’s always all about you,” you sang annoyed and looked to the opposite side that he was standing.

Sirius sighed heavily before making his way to you, bending down until he was on your level and resting a hand on your waist and another on your chin. He then gently turned your head so you could face him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked tenderly. “Talk to me.”

“A distraction? Really? I know I said I didn’t expect anything from you but I did expect a little bit of respect, you know, since I’m your so-called best friend,” you huffed after a while.

A shadow of an unreadable emotion run through Sirius’ eyes before he looked down and shook his head in disbelief.

“That’s what James said, not me. I said I got heavily distracted, which I did, because when we were together you and that moment were all I could think about,” he said, lifting his head a little so he could look you in the eyes. “I’m sorry i misspoke and made you feel that way. I do care about you, too much to ever hurt you on purpose.”

“Damn, you really know how to fool a woman, don’t you Black?” You joked harshly.

“I mean it,” he frowned.

“Well, then learn how to use your words, you daft!” You bumped your fist into his shoulder rather strongly, causing him to lost his balance and fall on his back, pulling you with him.

You stared at each other for a second before the sound of a loud laughter echoed through the empty courtyard. After what felt like ages of a hearty laugh, you rested your face breathless in the crook of his neck. Sirius took a hand out of your waist and started caressing your hair as you laid on top of him, a hand on his cheek and the other placed on his chest.

“Does it mean I’m forgiven?” He whispered into your ear with a giggle.

You lifted your head and stared into his eyes with a smile before nodding. Sirius smiled back at you and took a strand of your hair behind your ear, resting his hand on your cheek after, caressing it with his thumb. You could feel the warmth of his breath as your faces were dangerously close, both of you starting to lean in without even realizing you were doing so. Your nose was brushing against his, lips almost locked.

However, a sudden clear of a throat ruined the moment and caused you to jump on your feet quickly, meeting Remus’ shocked eyes.

“Hi, Rem!” You greeted him before grabbing your bag recklessly and taking off completely embarrassed, not bothering to wait for an answer.

Remus watched you leave for a few seconds before offering his and to Sirius, who was still laid down on the floor.

“What was that?” The boy with warmly kind chocolate eyes asked with a scrunched face.

“We were fooling around when I fell on my back and she landed on top of me,” he shrugged before taking Remus’ hand and standing up.

“I meant the obvious tension and the almost kissing, Padfoot,” he lifted both of his brows.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my dear friend Moony,” he wrapped his arm on his friend’s shoulder and started to lead him back into the castle.

Remus got out of Sirius’ embrace and grabbed his arm gently.

“Padfoot, she’s your best friend...” he started, concern clear in his voice. “You can’t gamble your friendship like that.”

“Do you think I’d ever do something like that to her?” He asked a little hurt. “We’re just... i don’t know.”

“Merlin, do you fancy Y/N?” He asked a little shocked. Remus had always been suspicious that Sirius had a crush on you but since he never made a move, he never paid much thought to it.

“What- No!” Sirius denied quickly with a scrunch of a face. “I’m not capable of such thing, and by such thing I mean feelings.”

“If I didn’t know you better I’d say you were lying,” Remus smirked. “About the first half of your sentence at least.”

“I’m not!” He exclaimed exasperatedly. “Besides, she deserves a lot better than me.”

Noticing a sad smile on his friend’s face, Remus squeezed his shoulder sympathetically.

“You could be a good man to her if you tried.”

“I’m too much of a fuck-up to ever commit to anyone, Moony, specially her,” he leant against the nearest rock-wall and looked at his friend with a side smirk.

“When will you start getting yourself more credit, you filthy dog?” Remus said with a grin.

“Oh, come on now, Moony! I do think I’m devilishly irresistible and a real catch already! How much more of a credit from myself do I need?” He joked, getting inside the castle and motioning for his friend to follow him.

——————————————————————

“Oi! Y/N! Come join us!” James waved for you from the stuffed armchair he was occupying as soon as you scrambled through the round hole concealed by the Fat Lady portrait.

Remus, Sirius and Peter looked over their shoulders at the sound of your name. You could see a knowing grin plastered on Remus’ face and your cheeks started heating up as you made your way to them.

“Hello, Y/N,” Remus widened his grin once you were inside his line of sight, your cheeks already burning by now.

“Why do you look so flustered, L/N?” James asked suspiciously with a furrowed brow.

“She turned pink as soon as she saw Remus, maybe she fancies him,” Peter nodded at James.

“Or maybe she fancies someone else...” Remus teased.

Sirius were studying your face quite amused and his eyes flickered with lust at his friend’s words, his piercing look flustering you even more.

“So Moony wants to tease, huh? Well, two can play a game,” you thought to yourself, plotting quickly a little prank to pull on your friend.

“Rem... I don’t think they’re gonna buy it...” you started, a play pretend anguish frown on your face.

“What do you...” he started to ask you, clearly confused.

“OH, REMUS JOHN LUPIN! I’M READY TO LET THE WORLD KNOW WE’RE IN LOVE!” You shouted, cutting him off and grabbing the attention of all of your fellow Gryffindors that were scattered along the Common Room. And then, without a warning, you gave him an intense and long peck on the lips.

Remus turned as red as a tomato, his eyes widened in shock, whilst Sirius had tears on his eyes due to how hard he was laughing. James and Peter just stared at you with a dumbfounded look on their faces, as well as the rest of the students.

“Merlin, Moony... that was like kissing my bloody brother! Sorry but I don’t think we have the chemistry to engage on a relationship,” you said mockingly, reaching for his hand with a condescending look on your face. “But we’ll always, always be friends.”

Pulling Remus aside as soon as you were done talking, you drove him to the quieter and inhabited corner of the room, looking into his eyes.

“Please, don’t do that again! Don’t tease me in public about... well, that!”

“I wasn’t gonna tell James, you know that,” he retorted offended.

“I do, Rem, but he’s not as much of a daft as he seems, he’d realize you were holding information and his annoying self would torture you until you had to no way out but tell him what you saw!”

“Good point,” he shrugged. “‘M sorry, I won’t tease any of you about that again. Not in public at least.”

Remus grinned amused at your annoyed eye-roll, hugging you and leading you back to the fireplace with the other Marauders. He would definitely be teasing both you and Sirius for as long as he could.

———————————————————————

Taglist: @rexorangecouny @emmalbg

#sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #the marauders #the marauders imagine #harry potter imagine #harry potter #harry potter x reader #james potter #remus lupin #adb imagine

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alexlwrites · 4 years ago

Text

Liability

Summary: The one where your best friend of years and love of your life is getting married and wants you to be the maid of honor. Luckily for you, the best man is not exactly happy either.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Reader

Tags: Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst

A/n: if you enjoy this, please comment and reblog. It really means the world to me and keeps me going!

Part 2: If one thing had been different (1/3)

(Fanfic masterlist)

(support me on my ko-fi <3 )

(<<<Part one)

The weeks leading to the wedding day felt like a fever induced nightmare, hazy and blurry, filled with stomach aches and anxiety nausea. You threw yourself into work, typing until the tips of your fingers were calloused and your wrists hurt, only leaving the office when the janitor kicked you out with a broom to the butt.

You couldn’t avoid Taehyung. No, that would lead to questions with painful answers or over complicated, dead end lies. So you were avoiding yourself - filling every single second of your schedule with some sort of meaningless task, only resting when your body was exhausted enough to not even bother dreaming.

Sunken cheeks and eyes with purple galaxies around it, you carried yourself like a ghost from place to place, saving up energy for the days when you had to try wedding cakes and pretend that you weren’t going to throw them up later, when you agreed with whatever flower or fabric Haewon chose, holding back your real opinions out of spite, wanting to keep the details of the wedding you’ve planned since you were twelve to yourself.

You already stole the groom, you thought bitterly to yourself while sipping whatever champagne they offered at the venue at 2 pm on a Tuesday, you’re not stealing the lilies too. “No, yeah” you’d end up saying “roses are definitely the way to go.”

Taehyung didn’t notice your sudden introspection, didn’t bat an eye at your pale skin and bitten nails, blinded by Haewon’s ever growing brightness, both riding the newly-engaged high. At this point, you were comfortable on the sidelines, happy at their obliviousness. People in love were easy to fool - you had been fooling yourself for years.

In the first few wedding planning appointments, it was just you and Haewon. She wanted to choose the dress first and the process had a strict “no guys allowed” policy. So you followed her from store to store, accompanied by her supportive mom and overly critical friend, running your hands through dresses you were pessimistically sure you’d never get to wear.

“I still think this is too soon.” Aera, Haewon’s college friend, said in one of the dressing rooms, legs crossed and tapping her heel. Aera was nice and friendly, but vocal in a way that was starting to get to your nerves. Although both of you weren’t happy with the wedding, her approach was to complain her way through it. Yours was to pretend it wasn’t happening, hoping everything would be over.

“I know, Aera” Haewon replied, barely bothering to look at her friend, eyes fixed on her image in the mirror, shining in a lace dress “you have mentioned several times before.”

“But yet you’re still going through with it.”

You rolled your eyes, but didn’t say anything, just like you wished Aera would. Haewon saw your annoyed expression through the mirror and winked at you, amused at your annoyance. “Yes, Aera” she said in the same patient tone a person would use to explain something to a child “Funnily enough I don’t need your approval on all my decisions”.

“I’m not saying you do” Aera was not letting go and you wished for the millionth time you could leave or at least get a pair of earphones “but it is my job as your best friend to give you unsolicited advice. You have only been with Taehyung for like, a year and a half? And your career is just starting to pick up too! Is he really worth it all this…”

“As the groom’s best friend it is my job to tell you to not finish that thought.” you warned, voice still monotone and calm. You didn’t want to start anything with Aera, but you already hated this wedding enough on your own, you didn’t need her help “Look, I’m sure Haewon appreciates your input and how much you care, but if she’s not gonna listen to it then you should support her either way, not try to convince her to leave my best friend everytime we get together.”

Aera didn’t say much after that. She didn’t seem upset or chagrined, more deep in thought than anything else. All her commentary from then on revolved only around the dresses and so the fitting carried on quietly and without further problems.

Later, when the sun was getting down and you were just getting ready to leave the store, Haewon pulled you to the side gently before you had the chance to escape. “Hey, I just wanna thank you for today” she said, closing the door behind her in one of the rooms filled with white gowns “I know Aera can be too much sometimes and I know she didn’t mean to insult Tae or anything…”

You waved her off, avoiding eye contact “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I get it, really, she’s just looking out for you.”

Haewon had smart eyes, you’ve always thought so. Her stare made you feel exposed, vulnerable, never 100% comfortable. “Taehyung cares a lot about what you think, you know” she sat down in one of the couches “If you said something to him, like Aera’s been saying to me… I don’t think he would’ve gone through with it”.

You wished people would stop telling you how much power you had over this wedding. It felt like the universe was tempting you, giving the opportunity to stop it, to have it your way. But in the end, you could never bring yourself to purposefully get in the way of Taehyung’s happiness, even if for a second you thought you could make him happier.

“I wouldn’t do that.” you ended up saying, crossing your fingers over your lap.

“I know that. Well, now I do.” your heart stopped for a second and silence hung like a death sentence before Haewon continued “You know, before I dated Taehyung I dated a guy for a little over a year and I really thought he was it for me. But he had this best friend and they went way back, just like you and Tae, and I would get so nervous around her. It always felt like a competition, always felt like a pick-your-favorite game that I never won” you didn’t say anything, couldn’t even if you tried “They started dating a week after we broke up.”

The story is so similar but so different at the same time - how many times had the world created variations of the same heartbreak?

“When Taehyung first told me about you, I almost broke up with him” she continued, voice a little quieter, a bit more strained “I thought it would be the same thing all over again. But I just liked him so much.”

You closed your eyes, thinking that maybe you could pretend for a couple of seconds that you weren’t your awful self, someone who spent so much of their times daydreaming of scenarios where you got to be happy and this girl didn’t, where you were the one that got the guy and she got her heart re-shattered.

“And when I first saw you…” well, that probably gave you some peace of mind, you mused bitterly to yourself, nothing to fear here, just a depressed, teletubbie-looking chick “I thought it was a lost battle already.”

If life had a soundtrack, the sound of a scratched vinyl would play loudly enough to scare every bride in the store.

“What?!” you exclaimed, eyes flying open in surprise.

“You are so great, Y/N” Haewon’s tone was so soft “and it sucks that you don’t see yourself the way literally everyone else does.”

Who the fuck is everyone else, you thought, but didn’t say anything, please send them my way.

“You’re so funny, so warm and smart and when you talk everyone in the room listens” she must’ve read the confusion in your face, the absolute bafflement, because as she continued, exasperated “Taehyung cares so much about you and I just thought… I could never really compete with you.”

Huh.

It almost made you laugh, the sick irony of it all, the ridiculousness of this race you both created and then stopped running, thinking the other would inevitably win. How much time you wasted torturing yourself nitpicking everything Haewon had that you didn’t, not thinking that perhaps she was going through the same thing.

“But you’ve never made me feel like I was losing, Y/N.” Haewon grabbed your hand, interlacing your fingers together “You’ve always been so kind and welcoming to me and I’m so thankful for you not making this feel like a competition. For allowing me to be happy with Taehyung.”

The cheap champagne was swirling in your stomach and you felt like throwing up, but what else was new?

“I just want him to be happy.” you had been holding these words close to your chest, repeating to yourself like a mantra. And though it didn’t bring you much peace, it seemed to be enough for Haewon.

“Thank you” she repeated, giving you a hug and a watery smile.

“You’re welcome.” you awkwardly patted her back, hoping she wouldn’t start crying otherwise you would too “Now that I know how important I’ve been to this relationship, don’t expect any wedding gifts from me.”

“You already told me you got us a mini bar.”

“And I’m keeping it to myself. I’m gonna fill it with skin care and alcohol.”

Haewon shook her head “God, you sound just like Taehyung.”

You know the saying, you thought while walking out into the street, still hand in hand with her, like repel like.

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halothenthehorns · 3 years ago

Text

TLTNL- THE LOST PROPHECY

Lily watched Harry come back inside and flop morosely down at the table, burying his head into his arms and looking so exhausted she wouldn't be surprised if he'd simply fallen over asleep. Still keeping Hickory wrapped in her arms for that deep purring noise keeping her together instead of what she really wanted but determined to keep her infant upstairs, she sat down next to him and ran her nails through his hair, smiling slightly when he tilted his head towards her touch.

"They'll get through this, they always have," Lily promised.

"Exactly how many times has some kid come plopping down into their life to tell them in detail how you lot were going to die?" Harry demanded, his words muffled and all the more grateful he couldn't see the look he knew would be on her face for that.

He was right not to look, he decided, when her voice came out so strained but still as sure as ever. "Doesn't change what I said, they're the most resilient lot I've ever known in my life. They'll bounce back from this just because that's who they are."

When Harry didn't respond to this, she instead tried, "Remus will forgive you, the man can't seem to hold a grudge anymore than he can avoid laughing at his mates," except towards himself she mentally finished with a pained wince for the poor dear.

Harry peaked up at her then, whispering, "I'm killing you all, why should any of you forgive me?"

Lily swapped to smacking him on the forehead, across his scar, and he went cross-eyed for a moment but his stricken expression didn't change. "You are doing no such thing," Lily snapped. "Even if we could, we wouldn't change our own past! I'd fall in love with James again, I'd have you as my first child all over again, I wouldn't change a thing that's happened in my life because of everything it's gifted me. Can you really say you wouldn't come here and meet us if you had the choice right now?"

Harry met her eyes, and felt worse than ever he would deny no such thing. Did that really make him a terrible person though, just to meet his parents, to have his chance again to see Sirius? He'd kept struggling with this the more he cared for is own friends, when had they switched to being his family? Now they were all he had left from that time, he wouldn't ever want to live without them, but could he give that up for being with his new one?

He was saved from having to answer that now by Sirius stomping back in and kicking Harry's chair.

"What did I do now?" Harry asked as he looked up at him, still sounding more exhausted than anything, though not entirely able to cover his awe he was still able to just look at his godfather, still just have a casual conversation with him.

"Since when did I need a reason to get your attention?" Sirius demanded back, before tapping him on the forehead with the book. "It's your turn by the way, think you can manage that without causing another storm?"

It was spoken as a jest, but Harry managed something resembling a smile at Sirius still looking out for him, his every indication saying he'd keep going if Harry couldn't. He'd been a fool, of course this was still his Sirius, Azkaban may have changed him, but nothing could really take him away.

He took it and followed James and Remus still muttering to each other into the living room, the two sitting down on the double seater while Harry still felt heavy with guilt for what he'd said, it was saying something Remus would still be in the same room with him as he sat down between his mother and Sirius to try and start.

They didn't know, and they didn't care what came next, whatever hellish thing was set to end Harry's fifth year. It wasn't going to mean much except Harry still walking those halls, truly the only thing they could stand hearing about at this point.

Harry landed in Dumbledore's office, which had magically repaired itself to its former glory.

Sirius tried in vain for a giggle, sharing with the others his instant idea of Dumbledore just waltzing into the school just to repair his office.

James countered with McGonagall might have done it, and the two may well have turned the whole thing into a debate of who was more likely to have done that under Umbridge's nose if Lily hadn't kept their attention. Harry was only just keeping himself pulled together, his voice still shook with every word and he was all but glued to Sirius' side while remembering a grief he'd only just suffered through in here, and though watching the two avidly, it would only hurt him more the longer that had to linger in his mind. The two quickly realized all of this and shut themselves up as soon as she'd cleared her throat.

His breathing was rapid, he tried not to think, but there was nothing to stop it. It was his fault Sirius had died; it was all his fault.

Harry could feel the protest boiling around him, but he had to get this out, he didn't want to hear any false securities right now, venting as loud as he could.

If Harry had not been stupid enough to fall for Voldemort's trick, he'd still be alive, if only he'd listened to Hermione.

"No, no, no, and extra no!" Sirius still managed to speak over him. "Harry, how could you blame yourself for something you had no clue of at the time!?"

"Everyone was warning me this would-"

"No one told you shit!" Sirius barked back, keeping one eye on Harry's bleak face and the other on his mates who were both breathing rather heavily again as well as if stopping themselves from screaming.

"Hermione did," Harry breathed, and though nestled right beside his godfather, there was still that dark hole that may have grown smaller with time, but seemed open fresh and wide now Harry could not shake off, the thoughts still plaguing him all these years later if he'd only listened...

"Then blame her," Sirius seemed to conclude, even as he watched Harry with a small little smirk and knowing what to expect.

He got exactly that, Harry looked at him utterly affronted, "it was my fault for not listening to her, not her job to force me to!" He didn't look like hew was going to start crying anymore.

"You did listen to her," Sirius agreed as much to soothe that temper as make Harry hear what he was saying.

"Even when none of us would, you wouldn't let us yell at her for doing so," James uneasily agreed, now wishing he'd thought more of that at the time as well.

"Then Kreacher did some twisted mess, and Umbridge got in the way, and you had no reason to think otherwise," Sirius' face couldn't help but cloud at the end himself, how the world seemed stacked against Harry like that.

"Yeah, what was with that," Remus snarled quietly under his breath. "Why did Kreacher lie then of all times?"

"Doesn't particularly feel like he chose then to grow a sense of shitliss humor," James agreed foully.

They didn't actually have an answer for that, and now the one person who could have forced him to say what had been going through that deranged elf's mind was no longer around to do so...

Sirius swallowed hard when he realized his own words had backfired, and for a moment he let Harry keep going just to keep himself collected. He enjoyed hearing about this no more than them, honestly hated himself more than anyone ever could, for doing what he'd done to Harry, leaving him like that, failing James and Lily and his godson for his stupid arse getting caught and leaving the last of his family alone. If he thought about that too long he'd see red again, the only thing keeping himself in check was making absolutely sure Harry would always know the real truth, it wasn't his fault.

It was unbearable, this hollow feeling growing in him where Sirius should have been, he could not be alone with it.

Lily made a keening noise as she reached out for her child, could no more let him be alone with this than let her infant go without food. Harry leaned into her touch, knowing he wasn't alone now as he had been during the worst moment of his life then. Lily carded her fingers through his hair as gently as she could while her mind viciously demanded what had Dumbledore been thinking putting him back in there all alone, where was Remus or the rest of the Order, someone?!

The portraits around him, which had actually been sleeping, began to stir as dawn crept into the office, Phineas being the first to spot him and asking if Dumbledore had sent him to give another useless message to his worthless great-grandson?

The page snapped out of place as if it were Phineas' face. He couldn't help it, no matter the stupid petty insult it was, no one was ever going to talk about Sirius like that!

Lily quickly reached over and fixed it, smoothing it back into place while keeping worried eyes on him, but he hardly acknowledged her look, continuing like nothing had happened, though they could feel by the second something was churning in him, just waiting for a release.

Harry couldn't respond, to say the words aloud would make them irreversible.

Harry had to breathe carefully through his nose or that was going to end on a sob again. He'd had his moment, pouring his past out that way onto his godfather now, he wouldn't just keep breaking down and crying like some child every time it was mentioned now!

He couldn't just stay here and be scrutinized by these paints, so he tried to leave, but the door would not open. Another ignored this attempt entirely and asked if Dumbledore would be back soon, it had been very dull around here.

"That school has never been anything remotely dull," Remus muttered, though there was no inflection in his voice, they were still reeling from too many emotions to feel something simple like a joking tone right now.

Harry started to panic as he couldn't get the door open. He couldn't just stay here, where the feeling was rising in him like a wave leaving him ready to crash, he could not stay here!

A flash of green behind him, and Harry turned to see Dumbledore appear in his fireplace. He stepped out carefully, and avoided looking at Harry

"Oh, this again!" Lily burst out in frustration so loud everyone around her jumped and her cat ruffled and glared up at her.

"I swear if that man doesn't do some explaining, I'm going to-" Sirius cut himself off before he'd let his stupid threat pass through his lips. He'd been fixing to say haunt him, but even he knew he couldn't get away with that without Harry breaking down again in his lap and his mates possibly murdering him here and now.

as he stepped over and deposited the tiny baby Fawkes into his usual perch before sitting at his desk, telling Harry none of his fellow students would have permanent damage from the nights events.

"Good," Harry sighed in relief, though he'd winced heavily while saying so as he'd hardly spared a thought for them while hounding after Bellatrix. He already couldn't really forgive himself for what had happened to Sirius, he'd have wasted away to nothing if the same had befallen his friends because of him as well.

Madam Pomfrey was patching everyone up now. Nymphadora Tonks may have to spend some time in St. Mungos, but everyone would make a full recovery.

Sirius made a little rumbling noise of concern, he'd loved hearing of how his little cousin had turned out and didn't like imagining what Bellatrix had done to her.

Harry tried to say this was good, but the word escaped him.

Dumbledore next said he knew how Harry was feeling, and Harry at once said he had no clue!

Lily sighed deeply, her hand still a comfort on him. Dumbledore was only trying to say what many would in that instance, they weren't naive in thinking he'd never lost anyone as surely the man had parents or some such at some time in his life, but what Harry needed most now was the one thing he'd just been denied for the rest of his life, and no sympathy on anyone's part would make that better.

Phineas laughed at this, saying he'd told Dumbledore already never to try and sympathize with the students. Harry ignored this and turned away to the window. The Quidditch pitch could be seen in the distance, where Harry had once seen Sirius as a black dog watching his game, he'd never asked why...

"I thought that was implied," James said through a thick throat, his voice cracking at the end anyways, that was not a memory he wanted to be reminded of right now! His whole body shook, he could have fallen over in that moment from too much loss, but then like he had so many times for Sirius, Remus leaned over and whispered something in his ear. James muttered something back, and while he still seemed to be having trouble breathing, he desperately waved on anyone who would change the bleeding subject.

Dumbledore continued that there was no shame in what Harry was feeling, on the contrary, this pain was his strength.

Harry felt a white-hot anger lick at him, leaving him with the desire to hurt back Dumbledore's calm words.

James could sympathize, he'd feel the same way of anyone who walked in right now, almost wished for it as he needed someone to take all this out on, he just couldn't even imagine doing so to those around him.

Dumbledore just kept going though, saying Harry's suffering proved he was still human-

"That's not helping!" Remus said lowly, fighting shaking limbs himself just to keep upright, and now took back his own thought. Did Dumbledore know nothing of comforting someone in pain?

In all honesty there was no comfort for this, but that certainly hadn't been a way to go!

Harry roared back he didn't want to be human! He picked up the nearest thing, one of Dumbledore's silver instruments, and threw it against the wall.

Sirius swallowed hard as Harry managed to shout all of that with the same intensity, that anger from before bleeding right through back into him now.

Several of the portraits gasped in surprise, but Harry kept going at the same volume he didn't care, he'd had enough, he didn't want anymore, all the while chucking the things around him until he ran out so he flipped the table to.

None dared to stop his tirade, letting him vent and yell all that out and honestly wanting to join in. It felt like too much, he just kept losing everything, and they no longer had the will to promise it would get any better, not after this.

Dumbledore had not made a single move to stop him, in fact still watching with that maddening calm as he said Harry did care, he cared so much the pain left him feeling as if he'd bleed out from it.

Lily watched Harry steadily even as she vaguely registered Dumbledore's words. There was what they'd been looking for, that truly did make it sound as if Dumbledore did know what Harry was feeling, he did know what loss was...

Harry now senselessly screamed he didn't, shaking in place and wanting to rush at Dumbledore now, to break him to, so he'd feel just an instant of his own horror.

That violent streak, though not a surprise, worried them the most. They'd seen that play out in here, and didn't want to know what Dumbledore would do if Harry acted on that in there.

Dumbledore just kept at his calm, saying oh yes Harry did, he'd now lost his mother, father, and the closest thing he'd had to a parent. Of course he cared.

"Still not helping," Remus said again through gritted teeth. Constantly feeling on the verge of crying and refusing to act on it made him feel as if he were suffocating, but he refused to let himself. If Harry punched him again than so be it, but the only thing keeping him listening was watching Sirius, knowing this hadn't happened to him, it wasn't going to, so he would not cry!

Harry tried to keep shouting, but words were no longer enough, smashing things wasn't helping. He just wanted to run, keep running and not look back.*

Sirius inhaled sharply as he understood that all to well. He'd felt that twice in his life, in very short amount of times. Once after what he'd done to Remus, he hadn't come out of the Forest for days and no one had even noticed his friends had all been so furious with him, he almost hadn't come back but finally guilt had triumphed over his own self loathing and so he'd returned. That very summer, after that night his parents had kicked him out, turned on him as no mother and father ever should to a child, and there was a reason it had taken him some time to make it to James's place in the state he was, he'd simply ran all the way there. Those two stuck vividly in his mind, and he couldn't breath for a moment knowing Harry had to feel the same and it was still worse for him.

Harry went back to the door, which was still locked, and commanded to be let out.

Dumbledore simply said no.

Harry tried to make a threat, but Dumbledore was not impressed, saying Harry may continue doing as he pleased with his possessions, he did have to many.

"Is he trying to be funny!" Lily said near hysterics now, feeling a wild mess herself at how alone her child was, how it felt like he could never have a single reprieve! She kept flashing back to what he'd seen witnessing this happening to Cedric, but then Sirius had been there for him! Now he'd never have that again, and a few more tears traced down her cheeks for this future.

Harry commanded in a cold, calm voice just like Dumbledore's to be let out, but again, Dumbledore simply said no, not until he was heard.

Harry was back to shouting he didn't care what Dumbledore had to say!

Dumbledore said he would. Harry was not yet nearly as angry as he should have been, for it was his fault Sirius had died.

James went utterly still, like a wild animal that had just scented its prey.

Though he would not be arrogant as to claim the whole, Sirius was a brave, energetic man who would not have simply sat by while others were in danger. Yet Dumbledore should have been honest from the beginning, that Voldemort may have tried to lead Harry there and this could very well have been a result, therefore, the blame lay with him.

"You are kidding me." James stated, and there was not a trace left of sorrow, though his face was still a blotchy red. "He knew-"

"James," Remus tried, honest fear galloping so hard through him his words still shook. "Prongs, he-"

"Shut up Remus!" James snapped right back, his eyes laser focused on Harry now. If Dumbledore was actually saying what James mind insisted he'd just heard, that man wasn't going to live, and Remus nor anyone was going to stop him!

Harry was still shaking by the doorknob as he watched Dumbledore, who asked he please sit down.

It was not a command, but a request, and Harry threw himself into the chair as violently as he could.

Phineas interrupted to ask that the last of the Blacks were dead?

Dumbledore said yes, and Phineas said he didn't believe it, walking out of his portrait.

Harry couldn't say that properly, he still didn't want to believe it even as he'd had no choice.

Harry could imagine him appearing in Grimmauld Place, how he'd hop from portrait to portrait shouting for Sirius who would never again answer...

Lily felt that catch in the back of her throat, her hand shaking in place upon Harry and he covered hers with his for a moment, but unable to look up, away from an answer he only wished he'd had at the beginning.

Dumbledore continued he owed Harry much, to start with an apology of an old man's mistake. He'd forgotten what it was to be young.

James felt a rushing noise in his ear, a fire that he still wanted to act on, but he'd hear Dumbledore out, know in detail if that man had really done the unthinkable regarding his family.

So Dumbledore began with Harry's scar, saying he'd suspected those fifteen years ago the connection it could hold to Voldemort, and much more recently when he'd gotten his body back, how this may progress. This became apparent on the night Mr. Weasley was attacked.

Harry said Snape had told him this, but Dumbledore corrected Professor Snape.

"No!" James snapped so sharply the cat hissed at him. "He's done nothing to earn that, and you need to keep your priorities right now!"

Harry shifted uncomfortably under such a quelling gaze, it helped nothing to remind him his father wasn't looking at him with that acquisitory look, but Dumbledore...right?

When Harry ignored this Dumbledore kept going, asking Harry had he not wondered why he hadn't been teaching Occlumency, why in fact he hadn't so much as looked at Harry for months?

"A damn fool would wonder that, clearly except the man doing it," Lily hissed.

It was because he'd feared Voldemort would soon learn of this connection as well, and that he'd use it through Harry to spy. Dumbledore had feared if he looked Harry in the eye, he'd see the shadow of a snake stirring, and he'd been right.

Harry's skin crawled, no matter the explanation that feeling still residing of how tainted he was, and now he had absolute proof of how true it was. He suddenly expected those around him to pull away, his errant thought from before festering into a sickening fear he could not shake. They should hate him, blame him for this happening to Sirius, Voldemort had been using him this whole time and now it was no longer just a thought but a fact, Voldemort had possessed him, was inside of him, maybe even now-

"It's alright Harry," Lily breathed in his ear, all of them had sensed the change jumping through Harry, his anger switching to something new and it wasn't the loss Sirius could help with, that was an expression none could stand to see on his face, he was back to feeling guilty and maybe something more.

She tried to take the book away from him, she couldn't stand to watch him suffer through this twice and though whatever idea that was in his head would continue, at least she could hopefully keep his attention on one problem she could fix, but Harry's grip only tightened around the binding, he wouldn't let it go. If he did, they could realize the same as him, and he couldn't lose them now, he just couldn't!

Harry vividly remembered those times where he'd felt like a snake ready to strike, and watched Dumbledore avidly now as he continued to explain that Voldemort's aim of possessing him would have meant destruction as he'd tried tonight, to sacrifice Harry in hopes Dumbledore would try to end them both.

Then he made a desperate noise, every joint feeling like it was going to pop out of his body.

"Harry," James watched him in surprise, the only thing able to pull him away, to distract him from what he'd felt for Dumbledore and Sirius, but his son.

Harry wouldn't though, he wouldn't look at him, couldn't look at any of them, he knew what he'd see, what should have been there. Anger, hate, how could they not after what he'd done?

Dumbledore sighed then, and Harry cared nothing. He would have wanted to know all of this less than twenty four hours ago, but now it felt meaningless.

It all slide away with one brush of Sirius' hand. Just like every time Harry had needed him, Sirius was there now, making a little tisk noise and telling Harry, "alright, deep breaths there, I have proof now I'm not the center of the universe and I may need some comfort here soon."

He tried for a pleasant tone of voice. Harry just watched him with a feeling he knew he'd had until this moment, which vanished in a flash. Sirius didn't blame him, didn't hate him, even knowing Harry's part in this. He kept looking to his parents and back to him, and for a moment he didn't know what to do with this.

Sirius chuckled in surprise when Harry hugged him, but he took it in stride and just let him cling until he pulled back. Sirius wasn't even quite sure what that had been, but the deep warmth he felt that he'd helped Harry figure it out wasn't comparable.

Sirius had told Dumbledore Harry had felt Voldemort inside of him the night Arthur was attacked, and Dumbledore had only known that his fear was correct, Voldemort now knew of this connection, which was why it was so important he learn Occlumency.

James still felt that heat all across him, two levels as some part of him still wanted to murder Dumbledore on the spot for a full explanation of what exactly had been done to others lives, but also a feeling of peace he'd already accepted and now got to almost blissfully watch. It would never not burn he couldn't be there for Harry, but at least he had the one here who did.

He paused, and the whole world felt like it should have been suspended in silence, but it wasn't. The portraits around him were still shuffling or clearing throats, Fawkes was cawing behind him, the sun was creating dazzling images off of the sparkling broken glass around like dew in the carpet.

Remus fidgeted uneasily Harry had an audience for this, as well as one in here. It was different for sure, but truly the boy had never had an alone moment in his life when he really needed one, as opposed to such a lonely childhood all he'd ever wanted was the one thing now gone.

Then of course Harry had pieced together the rest, understood that something was hidden in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic. Only those who had a prophecy ordained about them could lift one from such a place or suffer madness, and the urge to learn Occlumency had become of even greater importance.

"Would it have killed the bloody man to say that?" James said for only Remus, he was afraid if he spoke any louder he'd only hurt the others but he couldn't keep this bottled up. "So Voldemort would know Dumbledore was trying to stop Harry seeing these things, I don't see the flaw in that!"

Remus couldn't either, he had no defense for his old idol, and he couldn't even think of him as that anymore, not after what he'd just confessed to doing.

Harry reminded he hadn't, though everyone had warned him, but if he had Voldemort couldn't have shown him, and Sirius-

Sirius now realized what he'd just saved Harry from thinking as his godson further leaned into him. He continued to look worriedly down at him, but his voice was trying hard not to keep that heavy tone, so Sirius must have convinced him this wasn't his fault.

The explanation burst out of him he'd tried to find him first at Grimmauld Place, but Kreacher had said-

Dumbledore explained Kreacher had lied. Not being his master,

Harry was so lost in his own mind, the tiny nudge of contradiction on his conciseness meant nothing to him right now.

Kreacher could lie without even punishing himself while he intended for Harry to go to the Ministry of Magic.

"He what?" Lily began poisonously.

Harry gaped he was sent there on purpose, and Dumbledore explained Kreacher had been serving a new master for months.

Sirius had felt betrayal, he knew he'd never feel something so deep again as when his mind flickered to a certain rat, but this was something new. An insulted pride for something he couldn't have called, his mouth hanging open and just waiting for a punchline he was sure was coming, because this was a sick joke, right?

Dumbledore had Kreacher explain to him that shortly after Christmas, after Sirius had commanded he 'get out,' Kreacher took him at word and went to the only other family he had, Narcissa Malfoy.

"No." Sirius said the one word in a flat, cold tone that chilled Harry to the bone. "He did not, he could not- what did I do..." he trailed off though and Harry shivered harder than ever, wondering if he'd just heard Sirius beyond the veil.

"That, that vile, that-" Remus spluttered, beyond words now. He'd never even meet Sirius' elf, and that was probably a good thing right now, his mind didn't need any more fuel for the burning mental images playing through.

Harry shushed them though, as unwilling to let Sirius think he'd done something stupid as Sirius always did for him. This was not his fault, something more was going on there...

Harry asked how he knew, and Dumbledore went back a bit and explained that when Snape had gotten Harry's message, he had contacted the Order. Moody, Tonks, Kingsley, Lupin and Sirius had all been at Headquarters at the time.

"You have got to be kidding!" Lily hissed, feeling all of this spin through her mind sickeningly fast now. "All of them were there, and not one of them heard Harry shouting in the kitchen! Came down to see what Kreacher was laughing at! What, how-"

There was something twisted up inside of Remus, a snarled thread of reminder he was one of those, and Lily seemed to realize this at the same time and stopped protesting how the world was out to kill everything that mattered to her.

Sirius was supposed to stay behind and tell Dumbledore everything, but Sirius had delegated this to Kreacher. So when he'd arrived the elf had done as told while laughing.

That part hadn't surprised Sirius, the wretched little thing it was always laughed at misery of any kind, especially his, and to know the feeling he'd have hearing of Harry like this, Kreacher would be ecstatic.

While Kreacher hadn't been able to give up any Order secrets as Sirius had explicitly forbade this, he was able to pass on something vital enough Voldemort could use that Sirius hadn't deemed worth banning. The person Sirius cared about most in the world was Harry, and the feeling was shared as Harry was coming to regard Sirius as mixture of brother and father.

Sirius couldn't imagine hiding that fact from anyone, he'd wear it proud on his shoulders just like he would his little pup some day when he was big enough. It couldn't be though, something like that couldn't get you killed, the world wasn't such a cruel place something like that could exist!

While Voldemort may have known this already, through Kreacher's information it became clear to Voldemort how he could use this.

Harry's lips were numb and cold.

Harry could feel that now, remember that vividly as it tried to cut through his words, but Harry wouldn't let them stop him, he had to hear all of this while he still had the breath.

He realized that Sirius had been there yesterday, Dumbledore confirming as much that Sirius had been upstairs tending to Buckbeak. Kreacher had been instructed to keep Sirius as away from others as possible in case someone came to check on him when Harry received his vision, and so the elf had injured the hippogriff, which Sirius was tending to while Harry was there.

Sirius made a strangled noise, his eyes fit to pop out of his head, his hands twitching maddeningly. That elf had hurt his hippogriff to keep him away from Harry, had been the cause of all this! James could do what he liked to Dumbledore for withholding all this from Harry, but Sirius was very soon fixing to be without a servant the moment he stepped out of here!

Harry still couldn't believe Kreacher had said all of this, while laughing. Hermione had told them to be nice to him!

Dumbledore had not found it surprising, he had warned Sirius to show more kindness and respect for Kreacher as well.

James spluttered something that may have been forced laughter. He just couldn't believe Dumbledore was still saying this, even now! That f'ing thing should have been put out of its misery rather than what it had ultimately done to his brother!

He'd warned Kreacher could be dangerous, but Sirius had not taken him seriously,

Sirius felt a funny tugging feeling inside him, he never would have thought saying his own name as a joke would ever hurt, but for the first time in his life he questioned whether he even should. He'd never once done it around Harry in his time, and though he lived to do it for his friends never ending annoyance, it somehow didn't feel right now that the idea was firmly set in stone he may not get to do it again some day.

Then he glanced at Harry, and he knew he'd never regret saying, "I always take things Siriusly."

There was a heart stopping beat, like now that Harry was told his godfather had passed he'd somehow lost the nerve to laugh at all for anything relating to him. It was proven untrue the moment Harry chuckled and looked to him with a happy shake to his head, muttering, "that's never going to get old."

Sirius smirked and straightened up in his seat, absolutely in agreement with his godson.

or that he'd even seen Kreacher's feelings as acute as a humans.

"Now you see why!" Remus snarled, his hand itching to go for his wand and slit someone's throat out for this. "That, that- no human could do this and laugh!"

Harry was back on his feet without remembering how he got there, rage nearly constricting his words as he told Dumbledore not to talk about Sirius like that!

Dumbledore gave this no notice as he continued that Kreacher, much like Dobby, was how he was because of how wizard kind treated him. To be pitied, a miserable existence.

"Then he should have been released like I wanted him to be!" Sirius howled in frustration, finding yet another mark to chalk against that aged old man. "I never wanted him there! If I'd had my way he'd have crawled into a grave and none of this would have happened!"

Being forced to do Sirius' bidding while enslaved, he'd had no loyalty, and Sirius had never done anything to make this easier-

"He went too easy on that thing!" James said in pure disgust, "by not ripping its eyes out!"

Lily watched all of them get whipped into a frenzy over Kreacher, and her arms tightened around her cat, her hair falling across her face in a bit of shame she didn't feel the same. She still pitied Kreacher more than anything, seeing the manipulation that must have gone on there. Sirius had never said a kind word to him in his life, had only made his being there more unbearable, and even now it seemed they couldn't see their own mistake.

Harry shouted not to talk about Sirius like that! Dumbledore didn't understand how much Sirius had suffered!

Sirius just huffed and wouldn't look at anyone for that. He didn't want to think about that right now, how shitty his life was after the next Halloween, or that feeling was going to overwhelm him all over again they'd never find a way to change it.

Harry tried to force him to change onto Snape, he wanted to hear the blame on him! When Harry had told him about this he'd sneered as usual!

Dumbledore kindly reminded what was he to do in front of Umbridge? He could not take Harry seriously,

"Now he's just doing it on purpose," Remus muttered into the oddly deadly silence. Sirius hadn't even seemed to have heard Harry that time, his wide green eyes watching his godfather with worry like all of them were for the lack of comment.

Sirius had to drag himself back around and see why they were all staring at him, then he fixed a smile into place but just waved Harry on without comment.

or she would have been aware as well. Yet the moment he was away he'd made others aware of the situation, he'd also been the one to prescribe Umbridge with fake Veritaserum when she'd gone to interrogate Harry earlier this year.

"That makes all his behavior okay then!" James spluttered in outrage. "All his taunts, his complete lack of any human emotion when trying to help Harry when it should have been that old cod who couldn't give you the time of day for fear it would ruin his own plans!" James was so close to shouting by then the cat finally had enough and slinked restlessly out of Lily's arms. She watched him flit from the room tail in the air and honestly felt like following, she couldn't hear much more of this without having her own breakdown. She could already see where this was going, how much Harry and all of them hated Snape and so his part, or lack of it during this instance would not go through quietly.

Harry ignored him and kept going, feeling a savage pleasure in blaming Snape for this guilt, and he wanted to hear Dumbledore agree with him.

Lily tucked her hand more firmly around Harry, her nails digging in a bit as she was well aware no matter what Dumbledore said, nothing would satisfy him right now, but she understood. It was only human this, she just couldn't imagine doing this herself, blaming all these problems on one man.

He stammered how Snape had goaded Sirius about staying in that house, calling him a coward.

Sirius tried to ruffle himself up, to eye Harry and bring up an old argument, "you think I let something like what that man said to me do anything to me?" It didn't come off like he meant it, his voice still too heavy, Harry's reality crashing down on all of them more every second, this future no one person should live through.

Dumbledore reminded Sirius was too old and clever to let such feeble taunts get to him.

Then Sirius winced for repeating Dumbledore at a time like this, chancing a glance at James who just shook his head for his best mate always seeming to get the last word, even through Dumbledore.

Harry viciously reminded right back Snape had thrown him from his office, stopped giving him Occlumency lessons!

"Which is all the more loathsome now that we have the full understanding for that," Remus said quietly but with such a promise of violence none would be surprised to see his wand appear. None disagreed either, what Snape had done in that moment was like what he'd done to Lily all over again. He'd left Harry to deal with Voldemort all on his own, instead of treating this like one should have, pushing his childhood problems aside and focusing on why Harry needed him.

Dumbledore agreed, that was his mistake as well, he'd been sure at the time nothing was more dangerous than himself teaching Harry for fear Voldemort would use the connection to spy while in his presence.

"Conceded old birk!" James said flatly. "The man's the best one for the job of that happening when it did, the only one who could have found some way to explain to Harry why it was instead of getting Snape of all people to farce some explanation about this!" James was breathing heavily, he couldn't decide who he was most angry at anymore, Dumbledore, Kreacher, Snape, all three could have dropped dead in front of him this second and he wouldn't bat an eye, would probably be tucking his own wand away after doing it himself!

Harry threw out what Ron had once said, that his scar always hurt more after dealing with Snape, that Snape was probably helping Voldemort all along!

"You can't convince me otherwise," Sirius seethed, hearing Kreacher's part of the plan put it together easily in his head, how many around Harry had set this up, and he didn't believe for a second Snape had done anything to help. That bat had dragged his feet in telling everyone, taken his bloody precious time informing of the situation, and then wasted time puttering around 'looking' for the kids after they'd long gone. Harry could have died before the Order had reached them, and Sirius would never forgive that.

Dumbledore simply disagreed, stating he trusted Severus Snape with his life. He'd thought the man would rise above a childhood grudge against James Potter in helping Harry, but he had been wrong, but this did not put Snape in any way responsible. The blame entirely laid with him.

"Oh, it can admit when it's wrong!" James said through gritted teeth, "f'ing too late!" Dumbledore seemed to have been at fault for everything that had happened to Sirius!

Harry seethed that was okay then? Snape could hate his dad, but Sirius couldn't Kreacher?

Dumbledore corrected Sirius did not hate Kreacher,

"That man doesn't know me at all, though that was made perfectly clear," Sirius snapped with pure loathing, Dumbledore speaking for him at a time like this.

he'd simply regarded him as lesser, of no importance. Wizards had mistreated and abused others for too long, and now they were reaping their rewards.

Harry shouted back Sirius didn't deserve this!

Dumbledore agreed that was not what he meant, nor would he ever say such a thing. Sirius was no cruel man, but kind to house-elves in general. Yet he had no love for Kreacher, being the reminder of the home Sirius hated.

Sirius blinked slowly, as at least that was true, but there was a coppery taste in his mouth for Dumbledore having to speak for him, a taint that wouldn't leave he'd never have the chance to speak to Harry again...

Harry's voice was starting to crack as he agreed with that, he had hated that place, and Dumbledore had made him stay in there, that's why he'd gone out last night!

"No Harry," Sirius softly whispered, he'd never let Harry forget this one. "I came to get you out of there, just like I always would. Doesn't matter if I was on the opposite side of the planet free as a bird, I'd still show up there for you."

While Harry had known that to be true, it didn't exactly make him feel much better about the end results.

Dumbledore couldn't just lock people up like he'd done to Harry last summer as well!

Sirius shivered while Harry gave a heavy sigh, neither appreciating that.

Dumbledore closed his eyes and buried his face away, and Harry's anger only grew. Dumbledore should not be showing signs of weakness when Harry was raging at him.

James fingers were digging furiously into his palms, he quite agreed with Harry but as his son worked all of this out from his past James didn't have that same release, had no one he could properly vent at and that just kept building inside him.

When he looked up again, Dumbledore asked that Harry sit back down, it was time he was told everything.

Lily couldn't help but scoff a bit in disgust. "Oh yes, tell him all the answers now when he's sick with grief and wants nothing to do with you!"

"Twisted bit of sense that, Harry's angry at something else and can't snap at Dumbledore for the more important detail," Sirius muttered.

After that, he would not stop Harry from doing whatever he felt he needed.

It took every bit of concentration for Harry to just retake his seat, and Dumbledore stared at him for a long time before stating that five years ago, Harry had arrived here safe and whole just as he'd planned.

Harry heard four deeply disgusted noises around him for that.

Dumbledore corrected himself not quite whole, he had suffered. He'd known what he was condemning him to leaving him on his aunt and uncle's doorsteps all those years ago, a dark and difficult youth ahead.

"He knew!" Harry heard the splutter of outrage around him, knew he should have felt something for that as well, but honestly when he looked up he saw Dumbledore's timing had been perfect.

They were so drained, exhausted, and hurt from having to live through Sirius' death that no matter how much they wanted to rage for this as well, it would not erupt. It was simmering below each of them, Harry could feel it himself as he could already count the days again of when he'd be going back, but for now, talking would keep the fire back.

If Harry were to ask why had he not been left with any numerous wizarding families who would have taken him in, Dumbledore would have responded same as he did to anyone at the time. It was too dangerous. Voldemort would return, and though he had not been sure how long that would take, it would happen. In the meantime, Death Eaters had still roamed free, hungry for revenge against the Boy Who Lived.

Remus still had enough of himself to shake his head in disgust. He still couldn't believe that was Dumbledore's decision to make! Lily would never leave Harry to Petunia, she knew well her sisters feelings for her. Clearly Sirius and...the other weren't an option at the time, and he wouldn't be able to...so then there was truly no one left but a bystander family. It still should have been their decision. Dumbledore was begin vain in saying no one would realize that taking in this particular infant was dangerous, but at least it would have been by choice, not something Dumbledore should have made for anyone!

In killing his mother, Voldemort had gifted Harry with the most powerful enchantment that could be enacted. So long as Harry lived with blood, his mother's sacrifice would remain.

"It wasn't worth it," Lily said at once, her face growing more ghastly by the moment as she still felt responsible for her child's terrible fate because of her blood. "Anything else could have been done, and he still would have grown up with more love and care than the absolute nothing he got."

Harry agreed, he'd wished more than once he had grown up in some kind of foster system, anything other than the neglect he'd had.

Harry at once said Petunia didn't love him, but Dumbledore corrected she'd taken him in. Grudgingly, bitterly, she'd given him room in the house which enacted the strongest shield Dumbledore could give.

"I don't believe that!" Sirius said in pure disgust. "Of all the magic in the world the man can do, that was the best he got? He himself admitted it would only be a temporary fix, it's not a long term solution, and so he still put you through his own admittance of suffering for nothing!"

This was not what Harry had been hoping to focus on, as if flipping from one fresh torture to an old festering wound.

While he called the place where his mother's blood dwelled home, Voldemort could not touch him.

"But he doesn't think of that as his home!" Remus dissected, trying anything like he was chatting with Dumbledore about this now. "He refers to Hogwarts, even the Burrow as more his home than, than that place!"

He need only return there once a year to be safe.

"That's not-" Remus tried again, but Harry couldn't hear anymore. He was on the verge of something again, whether anger, sorrow, or something else he did not know, but he just couldn't hear this now.

His aunt was aware of this, he'd left her a note detailing this when she'd found him on her stoop. Petunia Dursley was aware that sharing houseroom with him had kept him alive the past fifteen years.

"He didn't even have a room!" James bitterly protested his word choice. "He lived in a bloody cupboard the first ten years! They only changed that after they realized someone else knew! No, that doesn't make what they did okay!"

"What about the Death Eaters anyways, he said that's the reason he didn't offer you to another family, they'd be attacked sooner than even Voldemort's return," Harry whispered miserably. He wished more than them this hadn't happened, but he'd never wish the circumstances of his life on anyone else either, considering everyone around him suffered because of it.

"Clearly the protection runs against anyone who would do you harm, otherwise you'd be right in saying that should have happened," Lily bitterly pointed out.

Harry realized he was not going to get even a small bit of understanding from any of them.

Something clicked inside Harry as he watched his headmaster, stating in surprise Dumbledore had sent that howler, it had been his voice shouting to remember the last.

Dumbledore agreed he had thought she'd need reminding of his last correspondence, of the pact she'd sealed in taking him in.

Harry's heart thudded painfully in his chest as he realized this, the snarky comment flying through his mind of how Dumbledore had even sent Petunia more mail than him over that summer.

"That utter arse," James blinked in stunned disbelief. "He, I didn't thing Dumbledore was capable of sending a-"

"Honestly that just makes the whole thing all the more confusing," Lily seethed. "Why care whatever Dumbledore bloody says, it shouldn't have changed anything, they clearly don't care what happens to you in the house! Why not abandon you the first time they could, they wouldn't care!" Lily jerked with the force of her own shouts, face ablaze with hatred for the thing that should have held the responsibility of her child but instead had treated him like scum.

He'd suspected the dementor attack may make her aware of the dangers of having him as a surrogate son.

"How dare he even pretend to call it that!" Lily spat in disgust. "Those, those ruddy-"

"He choked our child!" James snarled, his hands still fisting up for that reminder. That hadn't even been the only occurrence, the constant insults, the frying pan, instant after instant of questioning the humanity of them, the legality part wasn't even in debate if someone looked at it for even a moment! And it was all Dumbledore's fault!

It had been one thing for him to leave Harry there and pretend it was okay, it was a wholly other for the implication the man knew of it all! Had even anticipated such a thing and gone through with it anyways!

Both were sitting forward in their seats, their grief was quickly slipping into murderous anger again, both wanted to crack Dumbledore's head open for putting Harry through this suffering just as he'd done to Sirius, when they still blamed half the mess of him winding up in Azkaban on the old man as well! It didn't feel right, how could he have done this? Who was he to decide this for their child!?

"What the bloody hell would Dumbledore have done if they'd killed him?" Sirius demanded, his teeth bared, eyes wild. "They came bloody close to starving him, glory knows how much they really hurt him!"

"Stop," Harry finally pleaded before they could go full blast with this, of listing every single thing he'd mentioned and what they'd pulled together themselves. "I know okay, it's just...wouldn't you rather hear the rest than yelling about this?"

"Can't we do both?" Remus demanded snidely, but Harry ignored them and kept going more quietly than he needed to in hopes they really would stop.

Dumbledore got back on track then, saying five years ago he'd arrived at school alive.

Harry heard it again, that deep throated noise all around him promising no one thought this excusable or at all okay.

He had not been a pampered child, but as normal a boy as the circumstances could have.

"The man's damn lucky you even made it there," James snarled. "Considering they tried to stamp out your magic to begin with!"

Harry shivered at the reminder but was clearly still determinedly ignoring them.

So his plan had been working, and even in his first year he'd faced challenges and rose magnificently against them.

"There should never have been a challenge!" Lily seethed in protest, all her fears of Harry's first year ultimately confirmed right then. "He set you up! He wanted that bloody Stone there, he wanted to see how you'd handle it!"

Then he'd found himself again face to face with Voldemort, and survived. Dumbledore had been prouder than words could say.

Remus felt nothing for that like he would have thought. There was a time where Dumbledore's word meant everything to him, but that feeling was getting harder to recall the more he heard.

Harry should have been honored to have such a thing, but after all he'd been through because of their old headmasters decision, it felt more like the man should be begging forgiveness than showing off pride.

It was also then Dumbledore had foreseen a flaw in his plan.

"His plan," Lily bitterly repeated, not caring one damn bit about anything of his plan right now, she wanted Harry as far away from that man as Voldemort.

Harry still had no clue what he meant, so Dumbledore continued, reminding that while Harry had asked at the time, Dumbledore had denied the answer of why Harry carried that scar. He should have, but eleven had been much to young.

So he recounted the rest of Harry's years, his triumphs and life, how he'd been matched more closely and carefully than Harry even realized, and still Dumbledore's flaw in his plan grew as he delayed in telling Harry. He'd cared too much.

Harry felt that deep, soothing feeling of why he hadn't been as angry as those around him, like he'd been expecting a warm hug and had received just that.

He chanced a look at the others and saw they didn't share the same feeling.

"Cared my arse," James muttered, his face still set in a hard line of frustration as he watched his child, still imagining his crying infant with no comfort to come. "What that man put you through doesn't at all sound like he gave a damn."

Harry winced and kept going anyways.

He'd cared more for Harry's happiness than placing the burden on him of what was to come, wanted Harry's future to seem more than it had been no matter what it was costing countless lives in not sharing with Harry sooner what he needed to know.

"He can't say one thing while doing another," Lily said with pure ice. "He can not just say he cared about you above others while leaving you to go back there against your wishes!"

Remus caught Sirius' eye though, and they felt a tiny niggle of understanding for just a moment. Were they any better? If Harry had to go there right now to protect the rest of the world from falling under Voldemort's reign...and they couldn't do it. No matter how terrible that made them, they still couldn't bring themselves to accept this as their fate, they'd just have to find some other answer, there had to be one!

Dumbledore couldn't bring himself to add another after all the boy had been through, the greatest one of all.

James couldn't breath. He wanted to keep screaming, threatening Dumbledore and promising this was never going to actually happen to his child, but here finally was the answer for that. The truth of why it had happened at all...so he caught Lily's eyes and finally managed to still her as well, a deathly calm settling over them for the one thing that would stop the retribution against the Dursley's and anyone, what had happened to make this their future?

Now he saw he had no choice. Voldemort had set out to kill Harry because of a prophecy made shortly before his birth. Voldemort had only heard a part of it, and had set out only to gift this baby and fulfill the prophecy himself, leading to the backfire, Voldemort's own downfall. The record of all this had been in the Hall of Prophecy. Since his return Voldemort had been determined to hear it in its entirety, to know where he'd gone wrong.

Harry could feel it, like a rubber band fixing to snap into place somehow helping all of this to make sense, and he worried his words would come out to jumbled for them to make sense even as he kept going.

This was the weapon he'd been seeking, the knowledge of how to kill Harry.

"Bloody hell," James was the first to speak in the echoing silence, and it wasn't even that coherent.

"That, is, insane," Lily spoke this clearly in fear anyone would misunderstand. "Voldemort, is out to kill Harry, because of a prophecy!"

"But, but those things-" Remus kept blinking spastically, but no new words popped up to prove he wasn't hearing things. "They're, they're a farce, a whim at best to tell you-"

"But they're not, are they," Sirius whispered, his face haggard. "They're bloody real, and somehow Voldemort knows it."

"I-" James couldn't keep going, none of them could. Their future was in ruins because of a Seer!

Harry only kept going from the will of having to know everything, the answer right on the tips of his fingers though those around him still sat like gaping fish at this news.

Harry blankly recalled that no one could know, it had broken.

Dumbledore mostly agreed, only one person left knew it, and that was who the prophecy had been ordained to, himself. Sixteen years ago in the Hog's Head inn.

"Sixteen years!" Lily repeated with hissed fury. Her shock wore off fast enough to latch onto this bit of information. "The Order knows about this, Dumbledore knows about this right now!"

"But, he hasn't, we haven't-" James tried to protest this. Yet it was there. Harry was only fifteen during this, which meant this had happened while Lily was still pregnant. "He hasn't told us!"

James got angry again as well, shock switching to all but shouting again at once. "Is this why he even let us into the Order! To keep an eye on-"

"I'm going to kill him," Lily snarled in disgust, there was no more question about this, and no one said otherwise.

Harry still twitched uneasily, though there wasn't a trace of any of them showing they didn't mean it, Harry still kept plowing on, though at this point even he wasn't sure why, it still only managed to keep getting worse.

He briefly explained he'd gone to see a teacher for the post of Divination, and while not keen on allowing the subject in school, he'd respect that the woman applying had been the ancestor of a renowned Seer. Dumbledore went to get his Pensive and set it between them, then he plucked a memory from his mind and set it inside. After a moment, Sybill Trelawney materialized before them,

Harry's mind floundered for just a moment, but a squeak of protest informed him this shocking moment held no more care than a fly on the wall, not now.

When she spoke it was not in her mystic voice, but the harsh tones Harry had only heard once before;

Insert the Prophecy

Sirius could still remember the last prophecy seared into his memory, every word had convinced him it had been his undoing, and it had been completely wrong. Now he finally understood this had been what made Voldemort come after Harry! Something so entirely vague it could have applied to a dozen people, and Voldemort had chosen his best mate! His godson! It didn't feel real! Like nothing else before since this mayhem had started with Harry landing in their kitchen, Sirius felt like he was dreaming, a nightmare though, that in such a short amount of time lives would end all because of-

James couldn't help it, he breathed in relief. "This is ridiculous!"

"James, I know you don't like them, but you can't deny now," Remus tried to calmly say to a clearly irrational father-

"No, no!" James insisted, a smile edging at his features that held a slight tint of detached humor, but his eyes were edging for complete disregard of this world. "It has nothing at all to do with- that's why Dumbledore hasn't told us! Don't you see! It's not..." but he trailed off as he blinked again, the world snapped back into sharp focus, and he looked at Harry. From that very first day he'd convinced himself he'd somehow brought Voldemort down on his family, that he was the reason his son's life was the way it was. Now it was all because of a stupid prophecy gifted by Sybill Trelawney! In the most deranged way there was, he was almost happy again!

Then he'd realized the rest, that somehow, Voldemort had decided that nonsense was his son.

"How did he know?" The tone was such a shift they all watched him with even more worry, his voice now bleak and hollow. "Trelawney couldn't have told Voldemort about this, Dumbledore didn't! How did Voldemort get a hold of this thing long enough to decide- why us!"

Lily had no answer for him, none of them did. There had to be any number of people out there who that prophecy spoke of, why was Harry alone left with this burden?

Harry couldn't even find it in himself to keep going, like the final nail in the coffin. The why didn't matter, it truly was his being alive that had cursed this family, Voldemort had chosen him and now everyone he knew suffered because of it. He wanted to snap the book shut, to walk right out of here and no one could stop him, why would they? He'd be leaving for good, he'd find Voldemort now and make sure he got exactly what he wanted...but he couldn't move. The idea was crystal clear in his mind, but his fingers wouldn't do the simple job of putting this all away, his feet seemed glued rather than the fierce energy driving him out. Why? The question that just kept coming up again and again for him, what more had he to learn from this that excused his existence, his infestation in their lives?

He realized why he couldn't bolster that anger at Dumbledore then, because he was just as bad as him. He wouldn't leave them, because he cared too much about them. He wanted to stay here as long as he could, until he had no other choice, still childishly clinging to that hope of something, an answer that would make all of this okay. The prophecy hadn't done that...so was there more?

There had to be, everything he felt believed in that, so amidst all of their still whispering panics and mutters, Harry still kept going, that was all he could do.

The slowly revolving Professor Trelawney sank back into the silver mass below and vanished.

Sirius growled still more loudly over Harry, "I have a solution, let's just kill this one and be done with it! I'm sick of her ruining our lives!"

Harry was much more sure Sirius didn't mean that one, he was still speaking out of besotted anger he did deserve. What were the odds the same woman would do this twice to him in such a short amount of time?

Harry just gaped, tried to recall the words, and then gave up and asked what that meant.

Dumbledore explained in simpler terms Voldemort would be conquered by a child born at the end of July, whose parents had defied Voldemort three times.

Harry fidgeted with the page, still feeling his parents words, honestly wishing for the same, that Voldemort had not decided his family was the one this meant...but if not him, then it would have been someone else, and did they deserved this any more or less than him?

Suddenly Harry was finding breathing difficult, even as Dumbledore acquitted that it very possibly could not not have meant Harry at all at the time.

"Exactly, that's what I was-" James mutinously tried to keep going.

Two boys could have been the likely child of the prophecy, the other was Neville.

Lily felt her heart still in her chest, eyes narrowing as her mind flew with that information, well aware of how true that was...and she gave a deep, broken sob. "Oh, oh this is-" she couldn't keep going, raking her nails through her hair with fury at what her mind was showing her.

"Lily," James whispered, wanting to hold her tight to him and never let go, but she was not to be comforted right now.

"Don't you see, we were fooling ourselves! Of course Voldemort didn't pick just one and go with that! The attack on Alice and Frank, Voldemort probably has a list of families like ours! He has Death Eater's going to every one of them to, to silence and make sure-" It had been said the attack on their friends had happened shortly after Voldemort's downfall, but how shortly? The story had been spread the Death Eaters had been torturing the Longbottoms for information, but what if they'd simply been having some fun before moving onto their goal, the infant. Was it possible they hadn't even heard word of what had happened to their master yet and been acting out his orders still?

"That doesn't make this unavoidable," Remus said flatly, his hand on James shoulder and watching her with absolution. "We figure that out as well! I'll bet you anything that's why Dumbledore hasn't told you lot about this yet! He's deciding who Voldemort is going to pick as well, probably got his own list of family's! We get them as well, we make sure Voldemort can't take this out on anyone!"

Harry watched them agree, the fight bolstering back in them that he couldn't quite feel. It all still felt inevitable to him, but he tried to blame that on his scar, that it had already happened to him. For them, this was still a concept, something they were going to fix, and if this was one of the ways Harry wasn't going to be the one to stop them even if he couldn't find the hope it would work.

Harry wasn't even sure what was in his own voice when he asked that it could be Neville?

Dumbledore corrected could have been, but no longer was. There was no doubt this was now meant for Harry.

James still snarled in outrage, Dumbledore couldn't let them just have one moment of peace! That man just had to ruin whatever life they tried to have, as if he wanted this to happen! There must be some other way to defeat Voldemort than what some bloody Seer said, there had to be!

Voldemort had fulfilled his half of the prophecy by marking Harry, who was now his equal, Neville bore no scar that was both a blessing and a curse to its bearer.

"More one than the other," Harry muttered as he took pause for a moment to rub at it, as if they'd forgotten.

Harry protested Voldemort could have chosen wrong!

Sirius did as he always would, he started wondering aloud any errant thought flitting across his mind to chat to the others about. "Could Neville have taken the Prophecy? If it's meant for the person who it was spoken of, and Neville and Harry were both candidates-"

"No, I don't think so. Dumbledore said it himself, he made me the child." Harry reminded, his voice much calmer than the others would have guessed for this topic, but clearly as they weren't discussing his past about Sirius and his living arrangements, he was almost back to normal.

"Sirius, you are a wonder," Lily said flatly, meaning to scold for trying to jump off topic, but he just smiled when she couldn't really get that tone.

Dumbledore had no more clue than anyone, Voldemort had made his choice. He had not picked the pure-blood child, but the one he'd seen himself in, the half-blood.

James was still riled up with disgust. "How dare he! My son- nothing like him-" but his furious mutterings weren't cutting into Harry now, he could see the end in sight, and more than ever before, he just wanted to be done with his part. He wished it hadn't been so just as much, but their terse mutters changed nothing, only action did that, and Harry had to act on his.

Harry didn't understand why Voldemort hadn't waited, to see which child would have been more dangerous to him.

Dumbledore agreed that may well have been the correct course of action, if he'd heard the whole thing. Instead they'd been interrupted, much as Harry himself had learned. The person listening had been thrown out before hearing the whole thing, and so had only reported the part that set Voldemort on his way, not knowing what he was creating in the process, giving Harry powers the Dark Lord knew not-

Harry's pulse quickened at the new tirade of insults around him, but as always he could feel the importance of that without knowing why. It was some scum Death Eater, he realized the same as the others, some information carried on by a careless person who gave not a thought for the consequences of what they were sharing. So why then did Harry feel no want for a death he should have, that ultimately made his parents?

Harry protested he hadn't anything of the sort!

"I don't know Harry, that look you give me sometimes is something I'm sure Voldemort never could," Sirius told him with an attempt at his chipper tone, the constant anger and fear around him feeling suffocating.

Harry gave him that exact look, watching his godfather in pure exasperation for a moment before shaking his head and continuing while Sirius smirked at the others who continued to look at him as if for his health, but it had worked for just a moment, they were all fighting back a smile as well for him.

Dumbledore ignored this and derailed back to talking of the Department of Mysteries. Of the room that was always locked inside, because the power it held, what they were studying was one that was more powerful than any source available, it resided in his body, it was the reason Voldemort could not possess him when he'd tried. His heart saved him.

Harry gazed down at that for a long time before he looked again at his mother. It hurt to even take his eyes off her, the woman he'd wanted most to meet in his entire life. He craved to know about his father, but through Sirius even for the briefest second he'd had just that. There had been no one for her though, not Molly or anyone could ever cause him to feel like he was watching her brush at her hair, eyes meeting in the way only theirs could. He still didn't understand, not really. He loved her, he loved all of them, but why then was that all it took to defeat someone as powerful as Voldemort, when he knocked such things as love aside like they were nothing? James had loved them, but he had been tossed out of the way without so much as a glance. Yet Lily's love for him had saved his life. Where was the key to this answer, that Voldemort somehow bestowed upon him?

They could gain no answer for this. Somehow, again, Dumbledore's answer felt like no answer, but finally, they could not hold that against him. He could only speak of what he knew, and perhaps even Dumbledore didn't know this as the answer, but was only speaking more speculation. Finally then, they felt they knew all he did, and they'd just have to work out the rest for themselves.

Harry closed his eyes. If he had not gone to save Sirius, Sirius would not have died . . .

"As endless a cycle as Hermione's time-turner," Sirius softly returned. "You should have known all along not to come, if you had than none of this would have happened, if and if, we can go back as far as you want Harry, but that makes nothing your fault. You couldn't change your past no matter how many possibilities there were."

Harry still kept searching his gaze and finally seemed to find what he was looking for, though it had been there all along. His voice was not steady, but at long last he knew without any regrets why this had happened, and he couldn't hate the fact that he'd loved his godfather enough to do this to him.

To stave off that, Harry whispered the last of the lines, concluding for himself this meant that one of them had to kill the other?

Dumbledore simply said yes.

Harry waited then, vividly remembering their reaction to his using one lone Unforgivable curse against someone who had inexplicably deserved it. He waited for them to finally be afraid of him, convinced if this hadn't done it than perhaps his family was truly mad.

Then James scoffed and muttered, "why do I get the feeling there's some stupid catch to that as well?"

"Because this whole thing has been one long gotcha'," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'm just so glad Dumbledore thinks he's got this prophecy all worked out," Remus agreed bitterly.

Lily seemed no more able to believe it, leaning over Harry's shoulder and hoping he was done soon, trying to completely disregard the fact that Dumbledore had just told her child he had to be a murder. As if that man hadn't done enough to Harry's life.

Harry wasn't sure what to make of them, but while he forced himself to try and finish with some sense of ease they weren't disgusted with him, it helped nothing to ease his mind of the rest to come.

For a long time neither of them spoke again. Harry's mind was back on Sirius, and he was still convinced if he'd pulled that curtain aside his godfather would have stepped back out, smiling as always at the sight of Harry, maybe greeting him with that laughter like a bark.

Sirius tried to do that now, just to prove he still could it seemed, but the effort only offered a sharp noise like a kicked puppy.

It went unmocked, but it made the sharp sting return to all eyes. This just could not be it, they refused to accept this as the end to their Padfoot. They'd find a way to save him as much as James and Lily.

Dumbledore broke the silence by telling Harry he owed him one more explanation.

"Not another one, I can't take much more of these," James whispered.

If Harry had been wondering why he hadn't been made prefect, it was because Dumbledore had felt he'd had enough responsibility to be getting on with.

Sirius blinked once, twice, and then it came through, his bark like laughter filling the room. He just couldn't believe his ears, after all that, Dumbledore had decided to say the one thing that had been on no one's mind!

Lily watched him throw his head back with that carefree laugh of his. In school, the noise had been maddening, like a braying donkey. Now she honestly considered it one of the most cheerful noises that could be, right along with her baby's giggling and James soft chuckle. It was something that still made them all smile, that infectious noise they all knew they would never see end.

Harry looked up at him and saw a tear trickling down Dumbledore's face into his long silver beard.

Sirius shook himself slightly in pity for laughing so hard when Dumbledore was reduced to tears, something none of them had ever envisioned was possible. Sirius had laughed his way through much of life, seeming to find the only way to make others hear you was to start with something as attention grabbing as a good laugh. That's how he'd gained his friends, it's how he'd lived through his summers, laughing off everything he could. Apparently that's how he was going to die as well.

HPHPHPHPHP

I've never been subtle in showing I don't particularly like Dumbledore's character, he was a man given too much power and decided too many fates he shouldn't have, which was all proven in this very chapter. Yet like with everybody, the man gets his redemption's in the next two books. Like with Snape, Harry very clearly forgave Dumbledore for this and everything, so if you think thinks got to heated in this, remember to wait till the end. I love you all!

*I sympathize with this a lot. Whenever the world feels too much to me, I go on long walks with my dog, this line echoes in my head, I can't imagine what Dumbledore did to Harry really is okay. The guy just needed to get away for a moment before he was talked to. This isn't like last year where I can see Dumbledore's side in needing to hear everything. It wouldn't have been a kindness for Harry to have a break before sharing all that. This time though Dumbledore didn't need information, Harry should have been allowed to just flat run and not look back until he chose to, but I guess that's just a personal opinion.

#The Life That Never Lived #Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #HP #Marauders #James Potter #remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter

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