#everyone is incompetent

[phonyroni]

I hate my fucking job so much I wish I could make money and also feel happiness 🥲

[paleinc]

love getting USPS scam texts when i had a package get returned two weeks ago and the postal office failed to give me correct info to pick it up in time.

love having a device that only provides me with smishing and robocallers.

[kikizoshi]

Been thinking about Sun's voice lines again, and the "Attention! This carousel is out of service and will require repairs before we open tomorrow. ... That is the end of my instruction! If I had been programmed with the knowledge to fix it, it would've already been done," lines strike me as so funny. 'Cause like. It implies to me that Fazbear cared enough to keep even the briefing material on-brand with animatronic voiceovers, so they had Sun record the carousel how-to because he was associated with it (or associated with Fall Fest which was the closest they could get), but then they didn't actually tell him what to say or how to instruct, just like,

"Hey Sunman come record the maintenance briefing for the carousel."

And Sun's like, "Sure thing!" thinking they're gonna give him a script or something. And then they just. Set him in front of a microphone and say "go." And Sun's irritated 'cause if they're gonna give him a job they should give him something to work with. But they don't. And those lines are what we get. Brief, unhelpful, and very passive-aggressive. It's so funny to me.

[wilwheaton]

The American vice-president, JD Vance, visited an American base Greenland for three hours yesterday, along with his wife. National Security Advisor Mike Waltz and his wife also came along. Fresh from illegally using an unsafe social media platform to carry out an entirely unnecessary group chat in which they leaked sensitive data about an ongoing military attack to a reporter, Waltz and Vance perhaps hoped to change the subject by tagging along on a trip which was initially billed as Vance’s wife watching a dogsled race. The overall context was Donald Trump’s persistent claim that America must take Greenland, which is an autonomous region of Denmark. [...] Vance, who never left the base, and has never before visited Greenland, was quite sure how Greenlanders should live. He made a political appeal to Greenlanders, none of whom was present, or anywhere near him. He claimed that Denmark was not protecting the security of Greenlanders in the Arctic, and that the United States would. Greenland should therefore join the United States.

The Imperialism Has no Clothes - by Timothy Snyder

Jeffery Dahmer Vance is such an odious little toad.

[mocking-the-bird]

If Tim and Steph decide that 7am is time for sibling bonding activities, it'll be so, even if the sibling they're bonding with is trying to get some goddamn sleep

[darkmutiewerewolf]

@buggachat successfully bullied persuaded me to redraw this . I know this is just marinette and adrien but I got really tired after doing just these two (I was too lazy to colour this). If you noticed that I changed their poses a bit, no you didn't

[yuwuta]

yuuta is the boyfriend BAWLING when he has to drop you off at the airport. it doesn’t really matter how long you’ll be gone, he will be crying, and he’s gonna cry just as hard when he picks you up again too. but that’s not surprising, neither is saying that satoru smothers you in affection and soft gazes but waits until you’re gone and he’s back home to let the tears out. the real gag is that toji is also crying. it doesn’t happen when he drops you off, or when he gets home, and honestly he’s fine for the first few days—crabbier than usual, slower than usual, groggier than usual—but, fine. it’s somewhere around the third or fourth day of your absence that he finds himself crying, unintentionally. he feels the tears on his lips before he realizes they’re falling from his eyes, and there’s a moment of confusion and then a soft laughter of disbelief before he lets the rest of them fall. he doesn’t really know why he’s crying even while he’s crying. he doesn’t sob or make noise or smush his head into a pillow, but when he gets up to wipe his face, he’s confronted with his reflection in the mirror and that’s when it hits him: he’s sad. if you’d asked toji, he’d say he hasn’t experienced true sadness before that moment. despite all the shitty things in his life, he held a sort of neutral, it is what is attitude about it all—but that’s not the case with you. toji’s sad because he misses you and it’s probably the first time in his life he cries because he can Feel something is missing inside of him

[ladykyriaa]

UGH I love how scarily smart he is. i love the la clan sm yall dont get it their arc is always so much fun

[jestroer]

Cletho, am i right

[sunlight-shunlight]

anyway the main interesting thing about the masked empire is that it looks like felassan needed like a special herbs and spices blend to meditate deeply enough to actually contact solas? and even then the impression seemed rather murky and vague (perhaps just bc they hadn't decided what solas' personality was ingame at that time), and solas was pretty detached and still on his "this world is garbage and full of tranquil" mindset prior to dai. i feel like if solas had been regularly able to talk to felassan, he'd 1. be more moved by his argument, 2. be aware that felassan's resolve was waning even before being told, and 3. be less likely to kill him point-blank without even a conversation, since he'd be more confident in his ability to talk him back into loyalty

so i think it makes sense if solas was genuinely Asleep a lot of the time, with some phases of more lucid dreaming where he was able to look at the fade/talk to felassan. so his experience would be vaguely stirring in his uthenera every few centuries, getting a fresh batch of bizarre mortal nightmares, and disconnected updates from felassan that went kind of like this:

"hey boss sooo... we lost all the eluvians and floating cities and stuff, and a lot of people just starved, and the veil is really fucking us. but we're ok! actually some round eared little guys showed up. uhhh actually arlathan's gone now and the population got enslaved by the round eared ones. their mages broke one of the seals on the black city and released a blight. oh the humans got into a new religion :) it's anti-slavery, but it DOES hate spirits. but the people have the dales now! another blight. actually another blight again. ohh the humans really got into their new religion... remember the dales i mentioned? yeah those are gone actually. also the survivors are evanuris loyalists and hate you specifically. two more blights. this last one went by super fast, i barely noticed it! hey actually i trained this mortal girl a bit and she's kind of fun, i think we should rethink the plan, and give her the eluvians and let her cook-"

and presumably solas goes "what the FUCK is felassan talking about. he must be going mad, he could easily foil the whole plan if he's lost it like this. goodbye old friend"

[snowcoming]

idk how to say it but damn am i terrified that more dc writers are gonna take tom taylor's nightwing who cant do anything by himself and acts like he hasn't been a vigilante for years and make that dick's constant personanlity.

[homielander]

objectively very funny that homelander spent three seasons antagonizing or killing anyone who dared defy him and squashing anything that even remotely resembled dissent... only to be like how come no one stands up to me😔 why can't you speak your minds😠 ugh i am singlehandedly carrying this company!!

[scrivenger-grimgar]

I came to you for calamity xie lian and i am EATING with your white gold gathers au.

Tell me more please 🥺

thank you?!? okay so food time!

quan yizhen and his followers are stupidly good at stumbling across magic items, to the point where its actually become a part of his mythos!!

additionaly quan yizhen: 1 is autistic (so is xl, trust), and 2 has extreme trust issues due to boththe 'tidm and his background, the brocade immortal incident took his neutral trust in Heaven and sunk it down to hell.

so he doesn't trust heaven with ANY of the magic items he is offered or that he finds, to the point where he actually just seals them into a cave labeled DO NOT TOUCH.

xie lian LOVES cursed objects and weird magic. when he finds this cave, his natural instinct is "oh i simply must possess this!" and so he takes it.

and when quan yizhen comes back snd finds his curse cave empty, he naturally tracks the qi trail back to white gold's gilded forest, and then immediately fights xie lian for the stuff.

quan yizhen loses, but he does manage to stab xie lian's leg; xie lian had so much fun so he's like "why'd you attack me!? :D"

quan yizhen tells him, assuming the ghost is going to kill him, that he can't just let those artifacts be floating around, they could hurt someone or cause problems!! and xie lian looks at him and says "im doing the same thing!"

so xie lian takes this feral god around his laur and shows him all his stuff and explains how uts guarded and tracked, and that he's got a whole catalogue detailing each item and how its cursed and what the curse does, and quan yizhen only follows at first bc obvs white gold is going to kill him, but then they get to the part thats mostly bespelled weapons and qyz completely forgets about that part.

they spend three days yelling excitedly back and forth about different weapons and fighting styles from certain kingdoms and empires and different centuries and why one part of a style continued while another was discarded-

until ling wen contacts him asking where tf he went bc hes been gone for two weeks, please come back.

anyway, xie lian gives him an open invitation to return whenever and quan yizhen and xie lian becomes friends after a few years. qyz goes to xie lian with any cursed objects that he comes across and they'll have a short (4 day long) sparring session, and xie lian teaches him about obscure magics while qyz updates him on whatever heaven is up to and where not to go when it comes to curse collecting.

now quan yizhen has a natural talent for identiying people*, regardless of what skin they're wearing, but will only reffer to them with the name they used at introduction. so when xie lian ascends for the third time, quan yizhen already knows thats his friend, the calamity white gold gathers. but xie lian told him to call him by name. so even when he's wearing his human disguise, qyz knows that thats xie lian.

this is very confusing to everyone, actually, bc why tf does general qi ying know the disgraced plague god of xianle? neither of them will explain even if directly asked.

jun wu isnt aware of this freindship either, bc xie lian doesnt bring it up, ling wen doesnt think its important, and quan yizhen just doesnt show up to court; its not worth the rffort to send two other martial gods to drag him in when he wont listen and will activrly talk over someone else, even jun wu himself.

*this talent for identifying people also works on both shi qingxuan and ming yi. quan yizhen is known for calling many, many, junior officials and low-middle class deities "ming yi". he was already known for being weird at this point so no one thought anything of it. this also means that were he to see bwx qyz would adress him as jw. this is bc he has a weird form of qi synesthesia that lets him identify individual people, but becomes overwhelming in a crowd. This is partially why he finds xie lian's domain so relaxing; other than the curses its just one signature, everywhere.

this entire relationship is s parralel to yin yu and hua cheng bc i find it really cute!

anyway quan yizhen's vacation home in the gilded forest is his actual house, his palace in heaven is basically just an empty shell. he has a small shrine for yin yu, and even prays to him.

[yaralulu]

rereading tbosas (was not kidding about rereading everything) and i really think the ppl who’ve only watched the movie don’t really grasp/realize how awful coryo is in general but also from the very beginning. It’s not like lucy gray made him evil or something, no he’s kinda always been the worst lol. I’m 6 chapters in and he’s yet to interact with someone he doesn’t think is annoying, stupid, or beneath him in some way. it’s like being inside the head of the worst person you know 😭.

[phneltwrites]

New fic!

Joy That Lights The Fire

It's a seasonally appropriate arson based romance for yuletide!

Summary:

Rosh, Ayub, and Simon decide to cap off their school career by entering the select ranks of those who have successfully burned down the Gävle goat. Only two layers of fences, guards, a livestream and the vigilant protection of the goat's chief defender, Prince Wilhelm stands in their way. But when Wilhelm takes a shine to Simon, they might have a chance...

link on ao3: here