#everyone is gonna be on this fucking ship i can already tell

[lordadmiralfarsight]

Tarrifs, shmariffs, what do ?

Grrrrreeeting my dear Tumblr users, it is I, random economy oriented Tumblr User that was onces convinced his blog was gonna be about ships (and not those on water).

I come to you bringing explanations on tarriffs, what they do, what they bring and what their consequences are, since they are kind of a big topic right now, what with Trump and all. "But Mr. Rando, I already know!" you say, and I believe you, and I am proud of you, but much like in my irl class, not everyone has the same knowledge base, so even if it's a bit tedious for you, we have to cover the topic so everyone is on the same page. Alright ? Swell.

So, what is a tarriff ? A tarriff is a tax levied on importations. AKA, you buy something from out-of-country and get it into the country, you pay the tarriff. Many of you will have seen the memes and viral posts, and will triumphantly point at the part where I say the importer pay the tarriffs. And you are right to do that, it's kind of very important. It's the main point, even.

Why is it the main point ? Easy : if outside stuff cost more, inside stuff better choice. Or, in non-caveman speach : the increase in cost on foreign products and resources will either increase the competitivity of domestic products and resources, or level the playing field. At least that's the idea.

"So", I hear you ask, "are you going to be the Nth user here to tell us that tarriffs are going to fuck the average US citizen over? Because we already know that."

Well, yes, but also know. Also, I'm not sure you have the nuance on the topic, and I do love me some tasty, tasty nuance. And custard. But alas, custard is not the topic of today. Economic nuance is. Now, onto the topic :

The main question to ask here is "what is getting hit by the tarriffs ?" Because the impact will vary a lot depending on what gets hit. To give a simplified framework, there's 3 types of economic goods : raw resources, transformed goods and finished products.

Raw resources are ... raw. Iron ore, lumber, clay, wheat grain, lithium ore, water, dirt, raw oil, you get the idea. Those resources tend to have razor thin profitability margins, because so much is produced.

So, what would be the goal of tarriffs on raw resources ? Well, that would be protecting or developping in-country extraction/production facilities, whether those be mines, farms, fishing fleet or lumber mills.

And that's where a tiny little factor comes into play : economic viability, AKA whether a given activity in a specific region is economically interesting.

Like I said, raw resources tend to have razor thin profitability margins, this means that overwhelmingly, raw resources are extracted in regions that allow lower costs.

Some of those costs can be reduced in costlier economies, like environmental or safety costs, with some good ol' deregulation ... up to a point. Even the notoriously protest-averse USA would face some degree of protests if all safety regulations disappeared and industrial accidents jumped 5000%. Poorer countries tend to be more lax on those regulations, and/or not really enforce them, or both.

On the other hand, there are costs that can't be reduced all that much in a given economy, like the cost of manpower. Due to the cost of living, there's a limit to how low you can go with your offered wages. For instance, offering $12 a day in the USA will yield fuck all in terms of recruitment, but $6 a day in the poorer parts of Africa will cause a flash mob of eager-to-work candidates.

And these are the two big factors of the equation : can the reducible costs be lowered enough that the irreducible costs aren't that much of an issue anymore ? And when the answer is inevitably no, can the tarriffs bridge the gap ? Well, uh ... that's gonna depend a lot. But overall, I would lean more on "no". African iron will be cheaper than US iron every day for the foreseeable future, unless you impose a fucking ungodly amount of tarriffs.

Some resources that cost more will see better results from tarriffs, but far from all. Like, tarriffs on iron, copper, tin, etc ? Bad idea. Tarriffs on helium, lithium or other rarer and costlier resources ? Could protect or help the national production indutry.

In the cases where, even with tarriffs, outside product remain more competitive, there's just going to be an increase in cost down the line, and wealth is just going to exist the country more. In the cases where the inside product becomes more-or-as competitive, then perhaps wealth can remain in the country and help the economy. But, well, we'll get to it later.

Raw resources, done. Two more to go.

Transformed goods (henceforth TG for simplicity) ! They are everywhere and they make up the bulk of international trade. Phone parts ? TGs. Flour ? TG, mostly. Tires ? Eyup, TGs. Radars ? TG. Ink? Oh you bet it's a TG.

So, what would be the aim of tarriffs on TGs? Protecting national industry, giving it room to develop or maybe even forcing multinationals to relocate/create the industry inside the country.

So, TGs are where globalization starts clashing really, really bad with tarriffs. Because you see, with globalization, there's been a global dispatching of production facilities. So you'll have part A that's produced in Italy with resources from Greece, part B that's made in Australia with Indonesian resources, part C that's made in Brazil with stuff from Zambia, etc.

the funky stuff happens when you need to combine parts A and C in a US plant, but then have to send the result over to Mexico to weld part B on top. And then you have to get it back into the US. Double tarrifs, you say? Yepperino, my dear student, double tarrifs. On this incredibly simplified exemple. Imagine what that looks like when there's 3 or 4 more parts involved.

At that point the question is : is it cheaper to pay the tarriff conga line or to just send the US parts of the production line overseas ?

"That sounds like the opposite of the stated goal" you say, with the blazé impassivity of someone that saw it coming a hundred miles away. Yes, yes it does. That's why tarriffs have to be manipulated very, very carefully, especially on transformed goods and intermediate steps of the production process, because it can stack up real fast, real bad.

Sometimes though, paying the tarriff conga line IS the better option, especially for sensitive processes that require a well-trained workforce with in-depth theoretical knowledge of very specific fields and access to training for cutting-edge machines, which is only found in the United Staaaaa ... what do you mean, Europe ?

So yeah, very sensitive, tarriff with care. And in either case, expect cost increases, which WILL be recouped with increased sale prices, leading to a domino effect.

And now, the finished products. The end of the line. The consumer targeted stuff. What you buy online and in shops.

What's the aim of tarriffs here ? Same as before, protect native industry, give it room to develop and force multinationals to relocate the production plant into the country.

At this level, you'll see similar considerations as with the TGs, with one tiny added funky detail : the costs of the two previous steps pile up here. Indeed, the tarriffs on TGs and raw ressources are liable to eat up the profit margins of the finished products, and since profit margins are sacred and must be preserved at all costs, well the simple solution is to simply increase the price of the end product in proportion to the other cost increases. And that means shit costs more for people.

"Well, that's awful" you say, and you are right. But we're getting started. It's time for another trip through early 2000s deviantart, say it with me : INFLATION !!! Except instead of your favourite character being turned into a balloon, we're talking about the content of your wallet losing value. And it's going to hit every industry that has to suffer those tarriffs. At which point the entirety of society faces a dillemma : do we increase salaries accross the board (with the associated widespread price increases) or are we chill with a global reduction in the amount of shit people can buy ?

And that's where it starts getting funky (derogatory, fear inducing), because if enough industries are hit with tarriffs, either choice is bad.

Increase salaries ? You speed up inflation and reduce confidence in your money, making exports admitedly more interesting but imports far less so, and when you are a globalized economy where there are imports everywhere at various levels, it gets spiky really fast.

Going the "tough luck fucko" route ? Well first off, rude, second off : congratulations, you are reducing the overall economic activity in your country, creating unemployment and poverty, reducing confidence in your economy and, if things go really, really poorly, starting a recession (WHOOOOO!!! Who wants to sleep under a bridge ?).

Now, is this a doomer prophecy ? No. No it's not. We have to keep in mind that systems, including economic systems, can adjust their course after starting in a new direction. It's rather unlikely that everything will consistently go bad in the worst way possible. But.

A lot of that is dependant on precision political decision-making, and the person soon-to-be in charge of these decisions in the USA has made it clear that he does not intend to listen to outside opinions or do precision. And considering his last go at it, I believe him. So I'm not optimistic. I don't think the US economy will collapse, that would be absurd, but I don't see the US having a good time either.

It's going to be very, very complicated, and it will depend a LOT on what fields are actually affected, in what proportions, etc.

And keep in mind, I haven't even talked about retaliatory tarriffs (from the people whose products you put tarriffs on). Or political tensions inside the US, that's something I don't feel qualified to talk about. Or the non-economic effects on geopolitics. Or the effects on the global economy.

If I had to make a prediction, I would guess that quite a few production lines will be reorganized to either have long stretches inside the USA or to be entirely divorced from them for as long as possible. Some products may become economically non-viable when it comes to the USA. Some US companies may find themselves no longer economically viable due to reliance on tarriff-affected outside goods and resources. It's hard to guess how large the impact will be, but there WILL be an impact, and most of it will likely be felt by the USA. Because tarriffs aren't paid on expedition, they're paid on reception.

So, as a French, all I can say is : bonne chance.

[secrettastemakerland]

LOOK AT THEM YOUR HONOR

THEY'RE SO STUPID I LOVE THEM

[foxgloveinspace]

People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.

[foone]

whats your favourite narnia book if you have one

Since I grew up as an autistic christian, I have many Narnia Opinions!

So, my favorite book for it's own reasons is probably The Magician's Nephew. I'm always a slut for worldbuilding and backstory and that novel is basically just only that. Some guy we know from another book goes on an adventure and in the process gets to be involved with the creation of one world and the destruction of another? kick-ass.

Best book to adapt? The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. 1988 BBC version, 1979 Cartoon version, 2005 theatrical? All good, in their own ways. The BBC version is just perfectly 80s and the costumes are amazing (because they are costumes! they did all the monsters by sticking a guy in a big costume and I love it), the cartoon version captures the fucking whimsy of a story where SANTA SHOWS UP AND GIVES EVERYONE PRESENTS and the first person to offer any serious lore about the situation is named MR BEAVER. And the 2005 film has the big battles and CGI and Tilda Swinton as the White Witch which is... so much. I love them all.

But the best book adaptation is the 1990 BBC The Silver Chair. Hands down. It's got Tom Baker's Puddleglum, Warwick Davis playing an owl, 0£ BBC budget greenscreened giants (MULTIPLE TIMES), a group of people discovering IT'S A COOKBOOK and one of them being offended by the cookbook saying they don't taste very good, the bad guy turning into a giant rubber snake. a witch trying to gaslight some humans into believing the sun is a myth, and the ultimate salvation of Eustace Scrubb: a boy who almost deserved being named that.

And since I can't not list basically everything Narnia ever made, BBC's 1989 Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is pretty good too. It's a fun "road movie", in that it's an odyssey into a fictional Mysterious Ocean of Here There Be Dragons.

Lotta hits in that one. It's also got a "collect the macguffins!" plot where they're trying to collect the Seven Lost Lords.

But yeah, it's like... the first Island gets them a lord and they get to end slavery. Next up, Dragon TF island (The dragon is Greed... but it's also just a literal fucking dragon). Next, Gold TF island. Gold, it turns out, makes you go insane in your lust for wealth, even if you're already a Prince of a whole country. The gold is Greed, but it will also just fucking kill you because you'll be turned into gold.

Then it's the island of the ugly invisible one-foot guys and it turns out they cast a spell to turn invisible so no one could see how they're ugly but they're not ugly, they just think they are? and then it goes "HEY LUCY COMPARE YOURSELF TO YOUR OLDER SISTER" and she's like "I'm ugly.... unlike her. Maybe I should use magic to STEAL HER BEAUTY?!" and it's like, wow. Is there maybe a theme here about self-esteem in your appearance? and Clive Officemax Lewis is over there going I'LL NEVER TELL.

Anyway it's got the good line about how the Wizard in charge of the ugly invisible one-footed pogo-idiots is that how he eagerly awaits the day that they can be ruled by wisdom, instead of magic. It's a fun approach to magic: it's something that is a shortcut, a crutch, and it's a poor replacement for Wisdom, even when used by "the good guys". Tell me, Mr. FedexKinkos-Lewis, do you have any opinions on the complicated relationship between Christianity and magic? oh, you do? I never would have guessed!

They also find The Island Where Dreams Come True. They don't land there, they just fish a screaming man out of the ocean who is trying to escape it. The sailors hear it's The Island Where Dreams Come True and are like "wow, I could have my own ship!" and he yells no, you fools, not dreams like your wishes and imaginations, your actual dreams come true on this island.

and everyone agrees: Get us the fuck away from this island and lets never return.

Anyway I'm not gonna talk about THE ENTIRE MOVIE/BOOK but it's got a great weirdness at the end where they reach the end of the world (which is flat. It's okay, this is Narnia, a completely different world with different physical rules than Earth), and it's a waterfall, but a waterfall going up?

It turns out Heaven is on the other side of it. They turn around, but the anthropomorphic mouse is like "ehh, I'll take that journey" and becomes the Elijah of Aslan's Country, their equivalent of heaven.

Narnia, won't you?

[cosmopretty]

Caught On Live

Caroline Harvey x Fem smut

Synopsis: You and KK have been dating for months in private and when Laila goes live the rumors are confirmed

Caroline and you have been dating for a while but have kept the relationship private, not secret. Her team knew you guys were dating and as did your friends but with all the attention both you and KK and the rest of the wisco team has been getting recently, you both decided to keep your relationship off of the media. You were known on the media pretty well, which is why so many fans have made ship edits of you and KK and believe your dating but neither of you confirmed anything they fans have said.

You sit on the couch in the middle of the room next to Cassie reading over your worksheets for your psychology mid term tomorrow. Laila start singing and lays down right next to you her head on your legs. Moving your papers you look down at her “Hi live people” you say before grabbing your book and flipping through the pages.

“She’s studying for her psychology mid term guys wish her luck” Laila tells the live before singing some more. You push her off of you “Lai be quiet please my ears are bleeding” you tell her look up at KK who walked over to you both waving at the live then sitting next to you.

Laila leaves you both going over to Ava and talking to the live. You tune her out and lay your head on KK’s shoulder “I’m so tired I’ve been studying all day” you complain your eyes feeling heavy. She nods and kisses your forehead wrapping her arms around you pulling you onto her lap. You hug her straddling her lap, digging your head in her shoulder “Come on how about I quiz you for a bit then we relax? That okay baby?” she whispers to you not wanting the live to hear.

You nod and sit up while she grabs your papers reading them for a moment before looking at back at you. She nods “Okay when someone has loss of appetite, loss of energy, and loss of motivation what can that mean?” thinking for a moment your eyes light up “Depression?” you ask biting your lip. KK nods and grabs your cheek to plant a kiss on your lips. Before either of you can pull away Laila yells and throws her phone across the room.

You flinch and move away from KK while she wraps her arm around your waist “What happened?” you ask the girl who was walking back and forth nervous.

“I didn’t know the live could see you both in frame until everyone started commenting and they saw you kiss I’m so so so sorry” Laila says looking at you and KK the fans in the live were all going crazy with you and KK in the background.

All the girls look at you both to see your reactions, you shrug and look back at KK who was already looking at you. Getting off of KK you grab her hand and pull her up with you “We be back guys I’m not mad at you Laila it’s not your fault” you say before dragging KK outside with you so you both can talk privately. The two of you walk in silence for a second before sitting on a bench outside.

Neither of you say anything for a moment and you groan putting your head in your hands “Fuck KK we tried so hard to keep it private now everyone’s gonna know” you whine climbing onto her lap. Caroline wraps her arms around you “I know baby I know” she coos in your ear before moving a piece of your hair from your face and kissing your cheek. Staying in her lap you both find comfort in each other “At least I can show you off now” KK says shrugging. You shove her laughing “Shut up” she grins at you grabbing her phone and taking a picture of the two of you her kissing your cheek. Furrowing your brows you watch her go on instagram and post you both with the caption ‘you caught us❤️’ KK looks at you for approval and you nod grabbing her chin and kissing her softly.

Once she posts it you both get up and she picks you up bridle style. You squeal wrapping your arms around her shoulders as she carries you back to the rest of the girls. Everyone looks at you both and Kk drops you on the couch next to Laila “We came out to the media thanks Laila” KK thanks her sarcastically.

Laila groans “I’m sorry okay” she apologizes again. You hug her “Don’t apologize babes it ain’t your fault now let’s go back on live I’m bored” you tell Laila while Caroline grabs your stuff putting it into her bag.

Back on the TikTok live you sit next to Laila in frame reading some questions. The whole chat starts filling with questions of you and KK’s relationship.

Caroline walks over and pulls you up before sitting in your spot and pulling you into her lap. Laila side yes you both “I have to third wheel that 24/7 it’s sucks” she complains while you stick your tongue out at her. KK moves her head to rest on your shoulder while she reads the chat “Me and Y/n been dating for a while we just didn’t tell you guys” KK responds.

You nod leaning back into her embrace “Yeah well thanks to Laila now you all know everyone say thank your Laila” KK adds on while Laila groans getting up and walking away mumbling about her apology’s.

Both you and KK laugh at her and you grab KK’s chin pulling her into a kiss. You pull away with a pop “So now no more thirst trap edits of my girl she’s mine” you tell the live before grabbing the phone and running to Laila who was on the couch pouting.

Jumping on her you hug her “Guys little Laila is sad cheer her up” you tell the live before letting go of the hug and getting up, off of her.

Caroline grabs her bag putting it on and then grabs you hand “Yall we going back to the dorms we will see yall later” she tells everyone and they all say bye to you both and you wave following KK out. You both walk hand in hand back to her dorm.

The second the door closes behind the both of you KK pushes you back against the door her hands on your hips. She bites her lip looking down at you “Your so pretty” she mumbles looking at you lips for a moment before leaning in and kissing you. You moan into the kiss your back arching off the door pushing onto her. She pulls away from the kiss and starts kissing down your neck sucking and biting leaving marks on your soft skin.

“Fuck KK” you moan and she gets the hint pulling you up to straddle her waist. She carries you back to her room and lays you down on her bed, she sits up looking at you in awe.

Caroline looked at you like you were the most beautiful person she’s ever seen “Please baby I need you” you whine looking up at her begging for her touch. She looks down into your eyes and kisses you again moving her hand down your stomach and into your pants. Two of her fingers rub your folds above your panties before pushing it too the side and rubbing your clit.

Grabbing her bicep your stomach tightens at the feeling “Come on don’t tease KK” you say looking up at her through your lashes. She nods and moves her head into your neck leaving open mouth kisses while she slides two fingers into you. You moan arching your back finding yourself grinding against her hand moaning trying to chase down your climax.

“That feel good baby?” KK asks you pulling away from your neck to look down at you. Nodding your head your interlock your fingers with hers and she speeds up her two fingers inside of you, her thumb coming to rub your clit.

You moan loudly and she shuts you up with a kiss pushing her tongue in your mouth. The band in your stomach tightens and you squeeze her hand moaning into the kiss. KK pulls away biting your lip looking at you “Come on baby come for me” she says softly watching your reactions to her touch.

You let yourself fall apart coming all over her hand, you breathe heavily looking at her as she slows her fingers inside of you fucking you through your high.

She moves her hand out of your pants before pushing her fingers into her mouth sucking your juices off of them clean. You smile licking your lips watching her, she grabs your chin pulling her fingers out of her mouth she kisses you. Tasting yourself on her lips you moan leaning into her touch.

Moving off of the bed KK pulls your pants off along with your shirt leaving you naked so you can change. She goes in the closet pulling her shirt off leaving her in a sports bra.

Laila bursts open the door and yells “WHAT THE FUCK LOCK THE DOOR” she says slamming the door shut running away.

You groan “WE GET CAUGHT TWICE IN ONE DAY WHAT THE FUCK” you yell falling limp into the pillows covering your face in embarrassment. KK laughs at you coming over and kissing you “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it baby” she teases you trying not to laugh.

Throwing a pillow at her head you get up hugging her both of you swaying back and forth “I love you KK” you tell her looking up at her. She nods and pulls one of her shirts over your head “I love you more” she tells you helping you change into a new outfit. KK laughs “Laila getting us caught all day today I know she traumatized” she says laughing.

[love-belle]

yeah my boyfriend's pretty cool !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they're living the childhood best friends to lovers trope.

or

for when you just can't help falling in love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - just had the most amazing idea for a daniel social media au omg!!! anyways i hope u like this i love you thank you for reading <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, charles_leclerc and 896,525 others

yourusername they say home is where the heart is

7,826 comments

username AIN'T NO WAY

username Y/N?????? WHAT IS THIS???????

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lilymhe chuckles knowingly

*liked by yourusername*

username WHO THE FUCK

username great another parasocial relationship gone

pierregasly y/n.

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username NOT Y/N TRYING TO SOFT LAUNCH HER RELATIONSHIP

charles_leclerc no surprise he had to cook considering you can't even make cereal

-> yourusername well fuck u too ig

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, yourusername and 936,685 others

charles_leclerc eyes like sinking ships on waters so inviting i almost jump in

8,627 comments

username GOODBYE

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username IS NO ONE GONNA ACKNOWLEDGE THE SECOND PICTURE?????? HELLO???????

lewishamilton hope you're both having fun 🤍🤍🤍

*liked by charles_leclerc*

username THE GRID KNOWS SOMETHING I SWEAR

username i have questions

username CHARLES AND Y/N BOTH SOFT LAUNCHING AT THE SAME TIME

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pierregasly woah rue when was this???

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yourusername charles is a swiftie confirmed ⁉️⁉️⁉️

-> charles_leclerc in your dreams

carlossainz55 she has changed you

-> charles_leclerc i know, my playlist is literally just taylor swift and harry styles at this point

-> yourusername she clearly has great taste

-> charles_leclerc of course she does, she's dating me

-> yourusername right!!!!! ofc!!!!!!

username everyone knows something

-> pierregasly i don't

-> username same brother 🫤🫤🫤

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by f1wags_, chxrleslxclxrc, hearts4y/n and 78,637 others

paddock.news charles leclerc and y/n gasly spark dating rumors after "soft launching" simultaneously on various social media platforms. rumors have always surrounded the pair through the years, but this time we believe that they're not just rumors. they have also been spotted out on "dates" as y/n has been attending various grand prix to support her brothers and friend and now apparently, boyfriend. they've also been posting each other on their instagram stories a lot lately. neither of the parties have made a comment about this, though we are rooting for them. for more details, click on the link in our bio.

5,267 comments

username NAH THEY'RE DEFINITELY DATING

username pierre is gonna go crazy omg

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username no bc they're literally living the childhood best friends to lovers trope

username pierre is gonna lose his mind i can just tell

username praying for charles 🙏🙏🙏

username no bc charles is in for hell of a ride bc y/n's literally everyone's favourite on the grid

-> username imagine having 19 drivers out to k!ll u

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username CHARLES MF LECLERC U BETTER SQUARE THE FUCK UP FOR STEALING MY WIFE

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username i want what they have 💔💔💔💔

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, carmenmmundt and 892,915 others

charles_leclerc no i don't like the tshirt

tagged yourusername

8,156 comments

username SHUT UP

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yourusername but u like the one who's wearing it

-> charles_leclerc eh debatable

-> yourusername sorry can't hear u over u sending me 2528298 messages when i went out to get the newspaper from outside our DOOR

-> charles_leclerc STOP

-> username NAH THIS BOY IS DOWN BAD

-> username OUR DOOR?????????

-> username HELLO????

username the real fashion icon of the paddock

-> yourusername real lewis got nothing on me

*liked by charles_leclerc and lewishamilton*

username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭

pierregasly someone let me out

-> charles_leclerc will you chase me with a fork again?

-> yourusername and will you stop throwing napkins and spoons at my bf???

-> pierregasly yes

-> pierregasly (no)

-> yourusername ur staying in the bathroom

-> pierregasly LET ME OUT

-> username NOT PIERRE CHASING CHARLES WITH A FORK

-> username CAN'T BELIEVE THEY LOCKED HIM IN THE BATHROOM

-> username IM CRYING OMG

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, charles_leclerc and 916,628 others

yourusername yeah my boyfriend's pretty cool but he's not as cool as me argue in the comments

tagged charles_leclerc

comments are disabled for this post

[covenists]

✦ LIKE AN UNKNOWN SIGN, C. LECLERC

sometimes, hidden love without sign is just unknown

req: Maybe a smau for Charles Leclerc x Reader but he’s with Alexandra and everyone wants them to like get tgt and she like posts stuff that’s like telling him to break up with her and at the end he breaks up with Alex and they end up tgt

fc: olivia rodrigo

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yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, lailahasanovic, and 520,143 others

yourusername 🥦🌱⛳🍵☘️

👤: nbcsnl

view comments...

username damn green looks good on you

astonmartinf1 😌☘️

username oh no aston martin commented, does this mean...

⤷ username nah don't

username your performance was good omg wish i was there😭😭

tatemcrae wish you were here

tatemcrae miss you real bad

⤷ yourusername miss you too baby<3☹️☹️

username okay laila i can tell, but charles i don't know

⤷ username laila and mick are her friends, she definitely know charles and vice versa 🤷🏼‍♀️

⤷ username but still bcs it's quite sus

lailahasanovic that fur coat is top tier i want it

⤷ yourusername same honestly😭

username poor alex she deserves better☹️

username he should've be with her fr i mean HIS INTERVIEW???

⤷ username he's a fan alright, and so do we

⤷ username DON'T U UNDERSTAND HIS FEELINGS FOR HER IS NOT JUST A FAN THEIR WITH IDOL SORT OF RELATIONSHIP

⤷ username y/n belong to charles. period

username i'm hoping that she's aware with these comments and ended up making a crazy songs about alex and building a tons of gossips around the paddock. it's gonna be so much fun oml

louispartridge grinch

⤷ yourusername elf

scuderiaferrari 🥴❤️

⤷ username ok fuck now ferrari commented i know it's complicated

yourusername added to their story!

caption: he ain't wrong, this kinda looks like a grinch. thanks louispartridge for the reminder.

replying to: yourusername 's story

still with louis?

replying to: charles_leclerc

you know there's nothing between us

and how about you and alex? are you still with her or something?

seen

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yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc and 781,290 others

yourusername i only speak truth 🗣️

view comments...

bradmondo slaying natural look as usual

⤷ username i thought it was brad pitt for a sec💀💀

username new album when?

username new song when

username she's so stunning

username mother slayed as always

florencepugh i miss our kitchen fight😔

⤷ yourusername sameeee😭😭

louispartridge you forgot your sunny

⤷ yourusername i already edit it on photoshop

⤷ username omg louisy/n interaction is real😍

⤷ username IT'S JUST A SINGLE (1) INTERACTION AND YOU SAID THEY'RE TOGETHER????

⤷ username say that to yourself shipping y/n and charles

⤷ username you see how charles is here now huh

⤷ username what she just a random selebgram

⤷ username WDYM RANDOM SELEBGRAM??????????

lancestroll hey come get your man he won't answer my call after last night

⤷ username what last night

⤷ carlossainz55 lancestroll you know she has a private account right?

⤷ landonorris nothing happened last night, everyone goodbye

⤷ username that's not a proper goodbye and you know it lando

⤷ username something happened and twitter are still cold...

⤷ yourusername 😐

⤷ landonorris how about we set up a barbeque party?

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yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt and 470,511 others

yourusername babysitter for hire

view comments...

username i know but we need a break up song rn

username tell me she's in love and hiding it (she's bad at hiding her feelings)

liked by charles_leclerc

username but tbh i don't believe if her album is about love. and if it is, some songs are definitely about her prev break up

username can y'all just enjoy her content?

username petition for taylorswift to invite her to be in eras tour

isahernaez mi linda hermanita😍🥰

sabrinacarpenter can't believe you bought the american girl

⤷ yourusername should've bought the british girl then

⤷ sabrinacarpenter monaco girl

comment has been deleted

⤷ username what the fuck i'm heading to twitter rn

username what is this sabrina and y/n???????? having a conv without starting a war??

username SABRINA AND Y/N NATION WHAT ARE WE FEELING NOW?

irisapatow the bff cupcake is true but there's no me, so i claim it as a false

⤷ yourusername no u no probs 😎

⤷ irisapatow 🖕🏻

username after she release sour, i think it's time to do sweet yourusername?

⤷ yourusername i'll do bitter instead.

username charles with alex, there ain't no way

⤷ rachelzegler please take the truth

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yourusername and vogue

vogue aspiring singer y/n l/n is sharing her thoughts about her newest single, ‘all-american bitch’ and about her rumoured love triangle between the formula one driver, charles leclerc, and enola holmes actor, louis partridge.

view comments...

iamrebeccad pretty baby 🤩

⤷ username now rebecca's here, is this not enough for yall to think that charles is with her rn

⤷ username c'mon that is innocent, she just supporting her💀

username YESSSSS VOGUE NOTICED‼️‼️🗣️🔥

username mother is back photoshooting y'all

username charles break up with alex challenge

username pls just be with charles

username wdym she's great with louis

username MY LIFE HAS BEEN RESTORED

username Y/N AND CHARLES Y/N AND CHARLES Y/N AND CHARLES Y/N AND CHARLES Y/N AND CHARLES

username she's literally so stunning omg

charlottesiine 👑

⤷ yourusername no u 👸🏻

⤷ username mothers interacting

⤷ username green light from cha everybody

⤷ username she literally said like, "just get him girl"

sabrinacarpenter added to their story!

caption: what a (real) american bitch should look like:

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charles_leclerc and meta

liked by charles_leclerc, zuck, and 148,790 others

meta charles_leclerc and our camera glasses is going out karting in los angeles🥳🏁

view comments...

username literally 🤓

username akshually ☝️🤓

username he is not maxplaining so relax

carlossainz55 you see the early comments? AJAJAJAJAJAJA

⤷ charles_leclerc i tried my best and you just be like this? what is this kind of teammate

yourusername hello you standard office worker

meta pretty nerdy✨

username NOT YN SAYING HE LOOK NERDY TOO😭😭

username but he looks so good in it tho

username y/n 🤝 carlos = saying he looks nerdy without saying he looks like it

username girl wym is that🫵🏻😭

username who's p1?

⤷ landonorris a W meta worker

⤷ charles_leclerc lie

⤷ landonorris no no don't try, because i'm there too

⤷ yourusername beaten by a morker

⤷ charles_leclerc it's not him, and what is a morker

⤷ yourusername meta worker🤓

f1wagsupdate

f1wagsupdate charles rumoured (second) girlfriend, y/n, is seen leaving a local cafe in los angeles yesterday with a mysterious man with a tan hoodie and a sunglasses. sources said that she is keeping her relationship strict with privacy.

view comments...

username she's off with louis and now she's with another man?? why is she so childish?

username how old is she why is she looks so damn short?

username bet it's louis they're reconciling

⤷ username keep dreaming girly i'll wake u up

username nonono it's charles i know

username GOD WHY IS IT ALWAYS THEM BOTH PLS GUESS FOR ANOTHER

username for the love of god she hasn't breaking up with louis yet pls stop

username god forbid her to have a male friend

username they WERE friend PLEASEEEE😭😭

username literally manifesting that it'll be charles

username but if it's charles, what abt louis? will he get his own sad album?

⤷ username i think it's charles who will get the song/album

username get over it guys she's literally a child

username she's mature enough to stay with one especially when it's THE louis partridge

username idc with the rumours but she looks good with her fits

⤷ yncloset slayed as always

username no but shush do you realize charles' partnership with meta is also in la

⤷ username SHUT UP DON'T MAKE ME THINK ABT IT🫵🏼😭😭😭

⤷ username wait yeah but idc i don't want to trace the line

joris__trouche added to their story!

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yourusername is added to their story!

caption: what the fucks happening

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part three.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 314,691 others

tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris

yourusername is it time for bahrain yet?! can’t wait to see these two back in action again soon! 🧡

view all 4,981 comments

mclaren We keep asking ourselves the same thing! Our engines are ready and we’re raring to go! 🧡

↳ yourusername you truly understand me mclaren admin

↳ mclaren we think you��re the one who truly understands us y/n

↳ user y/n x mclaren admin?? 🤯 the plot twist none of us saw coming

user missing these lads so much lately

user THE RADIO SILENCE ON OSCAR’S SOCIALS WAS KILLING ME I DEPEND ON THESE MEN TOO MUCH THEY KEEP ME ALIVE 😭😭

user the f1 drought is real rn

user MCLAREN SUPREMACY 2024

↳ user i’m trying to be delulu but we all know it’s just gonna be the mv33 and redbull show again this year 🫤

user soooo are we all just gonna pretend like we didn’t see the pics of her with garrett ward orrrrr?

↳ user no bc i was just thinking the same thing 👀

↳ user wait that was actually her??? cuz you can like barely see her face so i thought it was just a joke???

user what a fake ass bitch

user she only posts other ppl on her acc cuz she knows her ugly ass face would scare everyone else away

user homegirl needs to stay tf away from my man fr 😤😤

user god what a hoe 😒 she already has these two that she could fuck with idk why she needed to go after garrett

user SLUT SLUT SLUT

user if she tries anything with anyone else on the city team i’m gonna lose my shit fr

↳ user same omg

↳ user honestly i’m just glad she didn’t go after grealish or haaland 🙌

↳ user she probably would’ve tried if they weren’t taken already 🙄

↳ user nah i bet she’s totally a homewrecker garrett’s probably just the first on her list

user oh… these comments… 😰

↳ user right???

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mancity, mclaren, and 198,131 others

tagged: mancity

yourusername the city boys know how it’s done! and looking pretty good in orange too 😉

view all 3,971 comments

mancity The lads are looking good indeed! This weekend’s match against Newcastle should be an exciting one! ⚽️🩵

mclaren ✍️ Jeremy ✍️ Doku ✍️ and ✍️ Ruben ✍️ Dias ✍️ McLaren ✍️ 2025

↳ mancity Do you think Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri would look good in sky blue? 🤔

user funny how she posts every city man BUT garrett

user god when does she go back to f1??

↳ user march iirc

↳ user well it can’t get here soon enough jfc

user FUCK OFF WE DON’T WANT YOU

user you’re a slag and should accept the fact that any guy would only want you bc of how easy you are

user i’ll bet my left leg that the only reason the f1 boys haven’t shacked up with her yet is cuz they know she’s probably riddled with disease since she drools over every guy that comes near her 😒 like girl needs to bffr and realize that throwing herself at every male in her vicinity isn’t gonna land her a husband and it just making her even more of a slut

↳ user nah i’ll bet they’ve all already done her over in f1 but nobody will touch her now that they’ve passed her round so she had to come over to football just to try and get someone to touch her again 🙄🙄🙄

user i hope garrett realizes how much of a slut she is and breaks up with her

user sick and tired of bitches like this getting with footballers and being all controlling. like i’ll bet she’s gonna tell garrett he can’t go out and party with his mates anymore bc he has to spend time in with her and then she’ll get all pissy about him having female fans bc she’s insecure and knows that if garrett got to meet a REAL fan he’d jump ship immediately. those of us who ACTUALLY care about footballers know their fans are super important to them and we wouldn’t hinder their relationship with them just bc we’re jealous or insecure. garrett needs to be with someone who actually supports him and is willing to let him do what he wants instead of controlling him like he’s a dog on a leash.

user kys like genuinely

user god i can’t wait for this skank to die 😒

“Hey Lando, it’s me. Your best friend. Again,” you give a humorless chuckle. “I could seriously use some of your wizened advice right about now, so, uh, please just give me a call back when you can. Thanks.”

It seems poetic in a cruel sort of way that less than a week ago you were walking Etihad Campus and feeling like you were on top of the world━ working a new albeit temporary gig, adding the Manchester City name to your list of clients, having photos of world-renowned footballers in your portfolio━ and now you’ve resigned yourself to hiding away in the women’s restroom, locked in a stall because it’s the only place you could think of where nobody would be able to find you.

You’re on the verge of tears and feeling rather stupid for it.

It’s the third time today alone that your call has gone straight to voicemail, and with the dozens of unread texts you’ve sent in the last week added to the mix, it’s starting to paint a picture you’re not very happy with. Lando is ignoring you. Or he’s blocked you. Or he’s blocked you because he’s ignoring you━

You bite down on your lip, hard, to keep back the sob crawling its way up your throat.

You’re not a PR officer, you hadn’t been lying when you told Garrett that, but you’ve spent enough time around the McLaren PR teams that you’ve picked up enough tips and tricks to know, at the very least, that the best thing you can do is just ignore the comments.

That’s what they tell all the athletes.

What they don’t tell the athletes is that ignoring the comments is much easier said than done, especially when your career requires you to have such a significant online presence. And the thing is, despite all of these strangers hounding you with every name under the sun and criticizing your capabilities, qualifications, and very existence, the thing that hurts the most is the radio silence from the only person you know could make it all better.

Now, more than ever, you need your best friend. But he isn’t here.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and unlock the stall with great reluctance. You know better than to be hiding away, shirking your responsibilities while crying over a few missed phone calls. You have a job to do, and a real professional wouldn’t let something as simple as a handful of tasteless comments get in the way of that.

You should be used to them. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Your first month at McLaren wasn’t entirely different.

When you were first hired on, Carlos had been in Formula One for a handful of years already and had built up a devotedly loyal fanbase with a decently large percentage of possessive fangirls who had come for your head the moment your existence had been announced.

The McLaren Instagram account had posted a picture of you standing between their two grinning drivers, your camera strung around your neck, with a very nice caption welcoming you to the team, and despite no indication that you were by any means involved with either of them in a way that went beyond professional, the comments had been taken over by feral teenage girls who saw the act of you simply standing near Carlos to be a direct threat against their “chances.”

Though it had been frustrating being met with childish threats and petty insults in your comments, you hadn’t really held it against any of them. You remember being a teenage girl and crushing on a celebrity. Deep down you knew you never had a chance with them, but that hadn’t stopped you from hanging posters in your bedroom and doodling their name beneath yours inside of scribbled hearts in your diary.

Regardless, it had taken close to a month for the negativity to die down, and you hadn’t had Lando then, either, so now shouldn’t be much different.

In fact, everyone on the Manchester City team━ trainers, physios, media coordinatiors, and anyone inbetween━ has been very polite about everything between you and Garrett. A lot of them have just avoided saying anything about it, which you’re very grateful for because you don’t think you’d be able to hold back your grimace while thanking them for their well wishes, and the few who have mentioned it typically only say something vague like a wishing you the best of luck or hoping you’re happy.

An intern gave you a sympathetic smile the other day, and you’d nearly burst into tears in the middle of the office of the Director of Communications, so you know you aren’t truly alone in this.

You just feel alone.

Exiting the bathroom is a simple affair. There’s no one standing post outside ready to give you any shit for being hidden away, and nobody comes sprinting around the corner as you make your way down the hall to the press conference room that’s been temporarily turned into your base of operations.

You think you’ll probably be able to go the rest of the afternoon without running into anyone, when you open your door and find━ sitting in the front row of the seats typically saved for journalists and the press, scrolling across his phone with a disinterested look painted across his face━ Jack Grealish.

“Jack,” you greet, a bit shocked. You close the door to the room gently behind you, and cross the distance to your desk. “Did we have a meeting scheduled? It must’ve completely slipped my mind, I sincerely apologize.”

He offers you a polite smile. “No, we didn’t, so no need to be sorry. I actually just wanted to check in. See how things are going with everything.”

You blink at him in surprise. Apart from Garrett, you haven’t really had much time to speak with the other players. They wish you good morning and good afternoon when they see you, and if a ball goes astray they always call out for you to watch your head, but between their morning training and their afternoon training, their strategy reviews at lunch, and the frequent in between meetings with physios, nutritionists, and trainers, they don’t get much time to chit chat with a simple photographer.

You clear your throat, “Erm, it’s going well. I’ve gotten some really good shots these past few days. There’s one with Rodrigo that I’m particularly proud of. It should do well with the fans.”

“And things with Ward?”

You purse your lips.

“Figured.” Jack sighs. “Look, nearly everyone you run into here knows or has at least some inkling into what he’s like. He’s a prick. None of the lads on the team like him, it’s why the managers are trying to get him out of here.”

You lower yourself down into your chair. “He told me they were planning to trade him off because of his reputation.”

Jack scoffs, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s the ‘official’ reason. They can’t cut his contract early for legal reasons, so they’re waiting for it to expire and coming up with an excuse for why they ain’t re-signing him. It’s really just ‘cause the rest of us can’t keep dealing with his massive ego and the fact that he’s a misogynistic fuck who doesn’t know the first thing about respect.”

“Fucking tell me about it,” you mutter with a sigh.

If he expected you to defend Garrett and is surprised by the fact that you haven’t, Jack doesn’t show it. He looks relaxed sitting across from you, like you’re having a casual conversation and not actively shit talking a member of his team. It gives you the impression that he knows significantly more about Garrett than you do, and that because of what he knows he probably figured out that one party in the relationship is not the most willing of participants.

“How’d you get all wrapped up it in then? Didn’t figure you to be the type to go after pricks like Ward.”

You debate over whether you should tell him or not. There isn’t much Jack can do about the situation regardless, but it would at least get things off your chest and if someone else knew then maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

There’s only so many days you can spend hiding out in the women’s restroom trying not to bawl your eyes out, and you’ve already reached your limit.

You heave a sigh, “It’s kind of fucked up really.” A pen on your desk catches your attention and you start to fiddle with it, avoiding Jack’s eyes which have focused directly onto you. “He asked if I would help him fix up his reputation by pretending to be his girlfriend so he could show everyone that he’s matured and can hold down a steady relationship. When I told him no, he threatened to make up a lie about inappropriate conduct to get me fired and blacklisted from the industry, so for the sake of preserving my career I agreed.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Jack murmurs, shaking his head. “I’m real sorry he did that, Y/N.”

You shrug. “It’s happened, so, there’s nothing I can really do except wait it out at this point.”

When you look up and meet his gaze, Jack looks murderous. His hands are clenched into fists on the armrests, knuckles white with the strength of his grip. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are twisted downward in a scowl.

“If you need anything,” he starts, “let me know. And I mean it. We all know how Ward can be. He’s a knobhead. So if you need anything━” his emphasis on the word and what that implies makes you feel more comforted than anything has since the whole fiasco started, “━then you let me know, or you tell one of the other boys and they’ll find me, alright?”

All you can do is nod.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by user, user, and 213,976 others

yourusername there’s no place like home

comments have been disabled

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry

━━ a/n: no lando yet, but we've got a cutesy little grealish scene to make up for it because i couldn't have a story with manchester city and not include him! lowkey writing this part made me wanna write for a footballer too... anyways! hope you all enjoy!

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Some moooore little incorrect quotes from Descendants! This is gonna be a long one, sorry not sorry.

(with ships)

Audrey: *kisses Uma*

Uma: !

Audrey: ...Did you steal my chapstick?

Uma: Did- did I what?

Audrey: My chapstick, Uma. Did you steal it?

Ben: Audrey, for the love of God, not this again.

Uma: I- No, I didn't steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick.

Audrey: No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn't go bad. It's been discontinued for three years. No one uses the same chapstick for three years. So unless you've been eating a whole fuck ton of something that's flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick.

Uma: Chocolate and popcorn?

Ben: Why do you think it got discontinued?

(WHY IS THERE NO YELLOW! I DON'T WANT TO MAKE BEN BLUE! I ALREADY HAVE SO MANY BLUE ONES! Also slay and wtf? What a great start)

---

Ben: Do you think I'm plastic?

Audrey: No.

Ben: Phew. Oka-

Audrey: Plastic, at least, has some use in life. You're not plastic.

(Damn. What did he do to yo-..oh.. right.. yeah. I've also decided to make him Orange because it's close to yellow)

---

Ben: War is heck!

(facts)

---

Chad, to Ben: If my dad doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.

Charming, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

(Absolutely. Canon)

---

Audrey: God, if only someone loved me…

Uma: *standing behind them with roses*

Ben: *holding box of chocolates*

Chad: *has balloons and a card*

Mal: *facepalms* This is sad.

(Me: *holding a big Teddy Bear* lol I had a crush on her only in the Third movie. Loved her Queen of Mean Era)

---

Chloe: So, what is Red to you?

Maddox: The reason I wake up every morning.

Chloe: ...That’s adorable.

Red earlier that morning, barging into Maddox's room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

(They've got this sibling bond)

---

Chloe: Are pigeons drones?

Chad: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.

Chloe: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!

Chad: *Crying* Please let me sleep...

(Sibling sleepover. Also Chloe, your Mary Anne is showing)

---

Red: I intend to stay pissed at you forever.

Red: Even if I seem helpful.

Maddox: Then you're in luck.

Maddox: Because you don't.

(Canon)

---

Uma: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.

Carlos: Actually, Jane is my favourite.

Uma: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.

(Yup and I love you. Carlos and Jane✨🫠)

---

Evie: I love making parties more interesting by telling strangers “I want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here.”

(Sweet and dangerous. Perfect.)

---

Uma: Evie said its my turn with the brain cell.

Mal: Square up.

(lol. Canon.)

---

Uma: What starts with F and ends with Uck?

Chad: No it doesn't.

Jane: Firetruck!

Mal: FUCK!

(Mal speaks my mind. Jane is smart and Chad got the spirit. He's not wrong tho.)

---

Jay: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Carlos:

Jay:

Carlos: ...Please, go back to bed.

(Jay loves to annoy everyone. Mostly Mal.)

---

Carlos: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Jane's phone number just by choosing random numbers.

(..why didn't you just ask? But also impressive)

---

Chad: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?

Chloe: IT.

Dizzy: Annabelle.

Maddox: Paranormal Activity.

Red: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

(Honestly just did this because Kylie was in the HSMTMTS. Honestly. They do that in Auradon too. So watch out)

---

Red: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Chloe: ...

Red: Oh, right. The lying.

(Has she ever lied to Chloe? I don't think so. But I find the quote funny)

---

Evie: A mouse!

Mal, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.

Jay, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!

Carlos, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.

Gil, gasping: It's Ratatouille!

Harry: His name is Remi, dummy.

Evie: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

(um.. yeah.. you know what-)

Chloe: A mouse!

Dizzy, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.

Celia, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!

Maddox, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.

Chad, gasping: It's Ratatouille!

Red: His name is Remi, dummy.

Chloe: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

(just some family time)

---

Chad: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them.

Red: That’s brilliant.

Chad: Thank you, Maddox.

(yeah)

---

Jay: Everyone has a toxic trait. Except Carlos, they’re perfect.

Carlos: Wrong! My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon.

(Facts. He is perfect)

---

Red: Hold the fuck up.

Chloe: Excuse me?

Red: I said hold the fuck up.

Chloe:

Red: I’m the fuck up, hold me.

(Aww...canon.. I mean she's not a fuck up. Maybe in her mother's eyes. But aww)

---

Jay: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?

Mal: What?

Jay: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?

(Because she and Evie finally got together. UwU)

---

Evie: How do you tell someone their breath stinks?

Jay: Hey, I'm bored, let's drink mouthwash.

(He definitely did that with his teammates)

---

Jay: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Evie: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

(Oof. Do I want to know?)

---

(Little surprise from the past)

Charming: Care to give a free sample to a pretty person?

Ella, manning a bake sale and tired of their shit: Sure! You know one?

Charming:

Charming: Care to give a free sample to an ugly person?

(he's trying)

---

Brigdet: I have a question.

Ella: Shoot.

Bridget: Is the S or C in scent silent?

Hook: Fuck you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day.

Ella: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent.

Bridget: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way.

Hook: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent.

Morgie: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound.

Hook: Morgie is not allowed to talk anymore.

(Just them having a double date)

---

Bridget: Made you all playlists!

Bridget: Hades and Maleficent, yours have only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Bridget: Ella and Uliana, yours have sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Bridget: Charming, Morgie and Hook have the ABBA Gold album.

(she knows them well)

---

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Ella: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Bridget: ...I did. I broke it.

Ella: No. No you didn't. Uliana?

Uliana: Don't look at me. Look at Morgie.

Morgie: What?! I didn't break it.

Uliana: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Morgie: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Uliana: Suspicious.

Morgie: No, it's not!

Hook: If it matters, probably not, but Maleficent was the last one to use it.

Maleficent: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Hook: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Maleficent: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, James!

Bridget: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Ella.

Ella: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Hook: Ella... Hades has been awfully quiet.

Hades: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Ella, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Ella: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Ella:

Ella: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

(Damn Ella)

---

Bridget: It’s just that lollipop sticks last longer than the head, even if they’re less flavorful. I’m thinking of paper sticks, because you can peel off the layers with your teeth or leave it there until they fall off naturally, but plastic sticks can be chewed on too or left sticking out like a cigarette. Paper straws can be eaten layer by layer over time though, so they have the edge.

Morgie, bored: Can’t we just leave while they’re distracted?

Ella, genuinely interested: But what about wooden sticks?

Morgie: I hate you.

(No. It doesn't taste good and it's flaky? I don't like the paper ones. I like the plastic ones. Love to chew on them, tastes neutral ig idk. Wooden sticks tho. Taste great. And you can chew on them. But they break easily and you could get a splinter I think? But still Wooden wins for me. Plastic second and then paper)

---

Hope you liked it!

This was a bit longer.

Sorry not sorry.

Byeee.

[impactrueno]

ok stop. stop. i'm gonna stop you right there because why in the world are you telling me this? where is this even coming from? what did you see on my blog that would make you come to me with this? i didn't ask ANYONE to justify their feelings about beetIebabes, positive or negative. you don't have to explain anything to me. i don't ship them, and i don't care whether other people ship them or not, or their reasoning why. my ask box is not an open letter column in a magazine, it's part of my blog. i'm a person. this isn't "beetlejuice fandom central" or anything like that.

i already said i do not want any shipping discourse of any kind brought into my blog. respect that.

just know that you're allowed to dislike things. you're good. no one is making you like the ship, i promise. i support you, you're perfectly valid and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. i'm very sorry that happened to your friend, but that's not a "proshipper" thing, that's a groomer thing, and groomers can be ANYWHERE. to see it as an exclusively "proshipper" thing is just going to put you in danger because kids have gotten groomed by shippers of "safe and wholesome" pairings as well. i've seen it happen and it's why i distanced myself from a previous fandom. so please, if YOU are a minor (or just young, adults can get groomed too) please stay on your guard no matter what circles you're in, and yes, even around "safe" shippers. i can't stress this enough.

let me tell you something before i shut this topic down.

this fandom i distanced myself from, i did it because i kept seeing adults pressuring minors to draw certain things. some 16yo kid drew suggestive art of a character under the pretense of a shitpost, and people went crazy over it and demanding more. and kids are always going to give into peer pressure, so of course they continued doing it and escalating the tone of the "shitpost" drawings.

this wasn't a "proship" space, quite the contrary, these were all very "anti" types as you may call it (once again i loathe these terms and shipping discourse is a fucking circus i don't want to involve myself with) the types that enforce safe, appropriate and unproblematic shipping and content. but here they were, hooting and hollering and with a terrifying lack of self-awareness and pressuring the kid to draw more suggestive art. IN PUBLIC. ON TWITTER. everyone thought it was hilarious but i was standing there like "wow! i want to get the fuck out of here" and i tried to remind everyone to NOT give in to peer pressure to do anything you're not comfortable with, but no one was listening because "sexy art of a popular character"

you can be manipulated and peer pressured to do things you're uncomfortable with at any age. especially if you're kind of a people pleaser like i was. people got nsfw art out of me that i didn't want to draw when i was 20. i got used and manipulated by someone who shipped "the correct things" to ship.

you won't realize you're being groomed until it's too late. that's why i insist for kids to stay safe and make wise choices, keep an eye out EVEN IN "SAFE SPACES" and i repeat do NOT let ANYONE pressure you into doing something you're not 100% comfortable with (and even if you are, think it over)

once more: stay safe, guys. no matter who you think your friends are. groomers can use anything to groom you, not just "problematic" ships.

that's all i'm gonna say. don't talk to me about shipping discourse again, please. won't be posting asks about this if i can help it.

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

Sooo something has been brought to my attention that immediately needs to be addressed.

The user @asmodeus-682 (can @ them freely since they've already blocked me and I cannot reach out to them) is throwing around accusations that I'm a pro-shipper of Solar x Moon, a ship that's grown in popularity amongst some members in the TSAMS community. And is bashing anyone and everyone associated with it.

Gonna come out and call bullshit.

Yes, I did like some art of it from accounts I follow because I thought what was happening in said art was cute. But...that doesn't mean I ship it???

It's also NOT INCEST?????

Since when does liking something equate to supporting something else???

People can like Harry Potter and hate JK Rowling at the same time, so idk what logic is being used here.

Do I think SolarMoon is cute? Yes.

Do I ship it? No, it's personally not my cup of tea. Kidscove still has my heart and soul.

I understand some are hesitant to approach it or are heavily against it because Solar was given the title of "cousin" by Earth and has been accepted into the family. I, as a moderator in the official TSBS Discord server, have been cautious to not let any discussions of SolarMoon transpire BECAUSE of this fact.

But y'all...

This is so dumb.

So unbelievably fucking dumb.

I'm mostly pissed because I am having to delay progress on a thumbnail to have to type this out and yet I still feel the need to.

At the end of the day people like what they like. The ship isn't gonna affect the show in any way because it's never going to happen.

And don't drag the VAs into even more bullshit drama, they've had enough. My friends don't need more in their lives than what they've already gone through the past year.

Supporting an artist, does not mean you are a supporter of Incestuous ships. It means you like art.

And being personal friends with Reed, the VA for Moon, I can tell you with utmost certainty he does not fucking care.

If anyone has questions feel free to message me. Let's be adults about this.

edit: for the love of god DO NOT GO HARASSING PEOPLE. I DO NOT CONDONE ANYONE TO GO AFTER THIS PERSON OR ANYONE IN THE COMMENTS. THAT IS NOT COOL.

[rainbowchaox]

Devotion Amidst Conflict: A Pissa Essay

This essay is gonna be talking about Pissa and how Squidcraft put a spotlight on the ship and dynamic. And why exactly does everyone adore them so much? The first point is that Squidcraft is purgatory 2.0 for the two of them. From first look the clear comparisons are obvious; both are very intense and competitive events.

But the main point I’m making is how Squidcraft and Purgatory mirrored each other in terms of their dynamic. In purgatory, both refused to hurt each other. Numerous times Phil commented he won’t hurt Missa. And canonically once Missa knew he was against Phil he just left. They are devoted without question to each other. The sun can’t be forced to hurt his moon and versa. Especially because Phil knows Missa like his own wings. He knows him like he knows himself. Of course he would rather die in Purgatory than risk being the one to kill Missa.

Which comes to the recent Squidcraft. Not only did Missa and Philza make it canon, their cubitos are the same as the ones on Qsmp. But this trend continues on and I even say stronger.

Absence makes the heart more protective.

Philza and Missa are again in a place where conflict is bountiful and death is plenty. Missa and Phil are both in the same conundrum where neither wants to hurt the other. How I see it though is Philza holds guilt over his point of view lack of care during purgatory. He in his view abandoned Missa. He could have tried harder. He could have been there. The two events are mirrors in my point of view. And it shows Philza's growth of care and love for Missa. And it’s key to understanding the ever growing dynamic and ship.

Philza canonized the cubitos as the same ones from Qsmp whether it’s a full on chronological continuation or some nightmare you can headcanon as you like. The fact is I’m using that as a basis of dissecting their dynamic in Squidcraft. It’s the natural progression of the cubitos relationship following QSMP.

Now let’s get into what exactly happened during Squidcraft. Phil and Missa are legit soulmates. They literally found each other first thing when they woke up! Actually meant to be! True eclipse! And that’s when we learn.

Absence really makes the love stronger.

One second in and Philza is already so protective and downright obsessed. “I follow you to the ends of the earth. He's not meant to hear that. ” Philza casually says this romantic line barely a minute after seeing Missa.

Their dynamic has shifted. Philza is way more obsessive. Also it’s very cute how Missa's habit of flirting with him in Spanish got flipped on its head. We also got a full confession!

“I wish I could tell you how much I love you and I don’t want you to see you die”.

Phil just wants to be around his Missa without any danger and to hear him laugh and bask in his presence. Many think Phil is the sun but it’s so clear to me that Missa is actually the sun. He brings light to Philzas' darkened days and he wants Missa to be safe! He doesn’t want to fail Missa any more. He wants to just be with Missa in any capacity. He is tired of waiting and of second guessing. He wants to protect his husband's smile.

There even comes a time during the day where Missa full on whimpers “If you find me you can kill me” and Bbh is like “I wasn’t planning but now I’m considering it” only for Phil to practically GROWL.

“YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MISSA”

He never forgot the torture BBH inflicted on his Missa. No one can hurt his husband. Doesn’t matter if both are trapped within a death game. Missa is always off limits.

This isn’t to say it’s one-sided! Missa on his end was just as obsessive and downright possessive. Missa missed his husband so much. And he is so clingy and happy whenever he manages to find him. The two of them were on something else! They really stole the spotlight of the first day in my opinion. It was really fate that Philza first face he saw was the face of his reaper. Missa will always be someone he can trust wholeheartedly. Once Philza gives someone his heart. The person has his utmost loyalty. Missa even managed to sneak a kiss which makes me think the crow is so used to Missa presence because Missa is his safety.

BUT WELL, WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

Philza failed the one mission he did not want to fail. Missa dies. Philza thought the people around him wanted to protect the only good thing about this game of life. And Philza practically screams to the heavens. He has failed Missa again! The one moment Missa was out of his sight he bled out. He can only be angry at himself.

He should have found him. He should have tried to run to him even blinded in the dark. He should have been there for him. He screams until hoarse and until morning. His wings, his solace, and his sun. Gone. Taken. Philza sinks into a deep depression. He doesn’t want to fight anymore. He just wants Missa back by his side.

He needs Missa. His actual life has no meaning without him. The time between their reunions has made the steady flame into an ever burning fire. They are two halves of the same whole. Only complete when they are both together. And Philza knows that Missa would want him to save someone so he swears an oath to do so.

“I will whisper under my breath, ‘for you Missa’ and die”

Now onto day 2 of Squidcraft, to summarize Philza is definitely not coping without his sun. Without his Missa. Without his Reaper. Without his Wet Cat. Immediately he comes out with, wanting to die for Missa. That he has lost complete and utter motivation in this game without him. That his mission is to literally die protecting someone so he can be with Missa in hell. This comes to Philza and Phillip introduction. Both are men that Missa care a lot for and they sorta bond. They both lost a very important person to them. It’s literally only through Phillip telling him they both gotta do it for Missa. I see their dynamic as more both using the other as an emotional crutch than anything preferably more romantic leaning because of the fact they miss Missa so much.

Next on day 3 of Squidcraft, we have Phil again reiterating that his sole purpose is to die so he can join his love in hell. Which brings up the fact that Phil wants to die for Missa. While Phillip notoriously keeps mentioning they have to survive and win for Missa. Phil finds no reason to continue being in such a horrible place without the calming presence of his beloved. Phil is always his worst self without Missa to make him laugh. And Philza fully used Phillip as a way to cope with such intense and painful loss. And he failed again. He wants to die and reunite with his love. Why does he keep living when he wants to stop and see his Missa again.

At Least he has the solace that Missa will never stay dead. He is a reaper after all. He will always come back. But Phil still feels he failed him. He may come back but Philza never wants him to feel any pain if he can help it. Just because Missa can’t die doesn’t mean he can’t feel pain. And all Phil wants and desires for Missa is to be safe and happy. Hopefully with him.

Then on day 4, we have Phil fully embracing his depression even with his stream being titled “Why does everyone I love keep dying???”. I am personally taking this as Philza's inner thoughts. He didn’t want to live without his husband. And his coping mechanism died but like a phoenix from the flames, Phillip came back. In fact he said it was because of Missa.

"I saw missa, I saw him, he looked me in the eyes and said IT IS NOT YOUR TIME!"

As a reaper Missa knew it wasn’t time for Phillip to join him down there. Missa always knew Phillip and Phil would all eventually come to him. He just needed to wait. And it happens just like Missa knew it would. The Crow fell.

“It's ok chat, we'll go see missa now. We couldn't do it for missa. It's okay. We gonna go see Missa"

All he wanted was to see Missa again. And he was right there waiting for him. Just like Phillip said. Missa can be patient and if the Crow crushed him in a hug who knows. After all, “We were waiting for you Philza”.

In summary, they are devoted almost to the point of devotion. They just want to bask in each other's presence and see each other smile. Only for so long could Phil survive without his other half. And now Phil is in hell holding his love in arms. They will always come back to each other no matter what. Nothing can break them apart.

[lover-of-mine]

it’s so interesting that with previous love interests, it was normal and fine to not ship them and to still want buddie in the future, but now, we have to sit down and shut up and accept that it’s never happening and B/T are forever

oh no wait, it’s not interesting, it’s annoying and confusing and frankly just weird. misogynistic and borderline fetishistic

shipping non-canon couples, especially ones with 6 years of history and love and shared experiences, is the norm in literally every fandom, but now suddenly it’s wrong and how dare we

a fair few of the people saying this are also, conveniently, the ones implying that B’s bisexuality is tied to T and T alone and if we don’t ship them, we don’t support bi!B

how. very. interesting! /annoying/confusing/weird

So interesting. Dude, I got called homophobic because I didn't immediately look at them in 703 and decided they were true love. In 703. Because I didn't look at the shoulder touch and immediately started shipping them. Homophobic with all the letters. I got yelled at. After 703. Legit almost deleted this whole blog over some of the things that got sent. I was legitimately crying with friends who are not in the fandom if I was being unreasonable or insane or whatever else I got called for not jumping in instantly and to ask if I was actually doing something wrong. People were saying we were being weird about queer storylines. That we needed to shut the fuck up and enjoy the way Oliver Stark was gonna make out with a hot guy. That not being on board the ship meant that we had an unreasonable and ridiculous necessity of making sure Eddie was the only guy for Buck. Literally every single person in this fandom hc Buck 1.0 also hooked up with guys. Most people never acted as if Buck needs to be guided through his queerness by this hot older guy. Oh, wait, no, they did. With T. People automatically decided that Buck needed a queer Yoda. That he needed someone to hold his hand and be a guide. They added a fucked up power dynamic from the get go. With no information, Buck was already a baby that needed his hand held through his own sexuality. And let me tell you one thing, I know for a FACT that if it was Eddie, the automatic reaction wouldn't be putting T in this idealized experienced gay guide position when that would've made more sense (not that I think any of them needs a guide) because Eddie is the one with the body count you can count with one hand and a weird relationship with sex. But somehow I'm the one who's weird about Buck's sexuality. I don't want Buck to explore. I need Buck to only have loved Eddie. Sure. Look, I don't wanna multiship. The same way everyone is allowed to ship whatever the fuck they want, I'm allowed to not ship whatever the fuck I want. If it was a woman no one would've been in my inbox basically demanding I make the same level of analysis I make for buddie for them (let me tell you one thing too, if I made the level of analysis I do with buddie with bt, no one would like what I have to say ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯) but I'm still getting asked for it for some reason when I never indicated I ship the two.

But I'm not allowed to have any critical thoughts about anything involving bt or else I'm being weird and that's the mild term that's being used. I can't point out the fact that T left Buck in a curb and failed to communicate shit properly even though it happened in canon. I can't say that I think it felt kinda callous for him to say "they had henleys in the 80s" to Buck being upset T didn't dress on theme (also, the job requires them to change into a uniform by nature, he could've put a colorful shirt and indulged Buck a little bit there without it interfering with the way he was on standby but I can't say that or else I'm a hater). There is no criticism allowed in the ship but somehow I'm the one being weird. I don't think Buck should be in a relationship. I think Buck is still exhibiting the same patterns when it comes to love interests. And yes, I would feel the same way if it was Eddie. Buck doesn't know how to be happy alone and he will never be happy in a relationship until he learns that. I was saying that when it was Natalia and getting praised for my understanding of Buck's character. Now I'm locking Buck onto Eddie. Buck's bisexuality is only valid if he's actively kissing a guy for some people but I'm the one being weird. BT have so many visual parallels to bucktaylor, but if I say that's a bad sign I'm being a hater. I need to sit my ass down, ignore six seasons of buildup, accept that it's over, and that now making Eddie queer and getting buddie together would suck because it would destroy the friendship they built so bt are endgame and gonna get married and somehow I'm the one who's being weird about queer relationships and attaching Buck bisexuality to a person. The fandom lost its fucking mind when they saw Oliver kiss a guy and, yeah, it does feel misogynistic and borderline fetishizing. But somehow I'm the one getting blocked by half the fandom when I'm not even pointing everything I want out. I lose at least one mutual every time I even suggest maybe we should look at things a bit more critically. I have to sit here and justify things to an insane degree while people's reaction to any of the criticism is "uH BuT T Is hOt aNd hE Is a gUy sO It iS DiFfErEnT oKaY?" Critical thinking skills went out the window because now there's a guy involved and that's fucking weird. People are straight up erasing Eddie, the actual main character of the show, Buck's established partner of years, Buck's best friend, the only person in canon who never left Buck in any capacity, because some guy kissed Buck and, he, uh *check notes* treats Buck as an actual human being? so that means he's perfect. It's nuts. The bar is hell.

Yes, I know this is not everyone in the fandom and I know this is not everyone who ships them but if what I'm saying feels like a personal attack to you maybe you should do some thinking. Anyone can ship anything, you want to ship them go off, power to you, the weird part here is the way some people are demanding other people ship it too. We could all be coexisting if people didn't get weirdly comfortable demanding shit from other people in the fandom and deciding their opinion is the only one that matters so they need to call out anyone who thinks differently, but alas, that's too much to ask.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: "Vaggie?"

Vaggie: "Yeah, Charlie?"

Charlie: "Holding hands like this is really really nice, as usual, especially after a desperate fight for our lives, so this isn't a complaint or anything-"

Charie: "-but I think your hand... is leaking??"

Vaggie: "That's blood, sweetie."

Niffty: "I like blood!"

Charlie: "That's a LOT of blood?"

Vaggie: "Yeah. It happens when someone impales your hand to the floor with your own spear, and you want the spear back."

Angel Dust: "Only you, Vaggironi."

Charlie: "YOU'RE HOLDING MY HAND WITH THE HAND THAT GOT IMPALED!?"

Vaggie: "It still works. See?"

Charlie: "GaH- don't SQUEEZE IT!!!"

Niffty: (gigling) "Eww~"

Cherri Bomb: "Wow, someone put this girl in a slasher film."

Husk: "Fuck! It fucking squirted all over my fur!"

Angel Dust: "Ooh-"

Husk: "Not one. Shitty. Word."

Charlie: "SHIT!"

Husk: "That one doesn't count."

Charlie: "Fuck, shit- why is it still bleeding? The battle was hours ago! Shouldn't it be closed up by now!?"

Vaggie: "It might not ever, really. Heavenly steel and whatever."

Niffty: (peering through hole in vaggie's hand) "Oooooh~"

Charlie: "But it has to heal! It's- Niffty stop that- it's your HAND!"

Vaggie: "It's still attached so no big deal."

Charlie: "No big- Vaggie, there's a HOLE in you that I could stick my FINGER in!"

Angel Dust: "Just one? Wow, tight fit."

Vaggie: "Could've been worse."

Charlie: "WORSE-!?"

Cherri Bomb: "Angie, if they hear you and you get yourself killed on top of Pentious today, I'm gonna ugly cry and smear my running makeup and snot all over your stupid corpse."

Charlie: "- and you didn't even TELL ME I was putting a death grip on an open wound!"

Angel Dust: "That's so rude."

Vaggie: "The pressure was helping slow the bleeding anyway."

Husk: "Fucks of a feather fuck up together."

Charlie: "BUT IT ALSO HURTS DOSN'T IT?!??"

Angel Dust: "Aww Husky, would ya cry over me too-?"

Vaggie: "It's fine."

Husk: "Fuck you."

Charlie: "This is NOT fine!!"

Vaggie: (smiling at gf) "It doesn't hurt that much, babe, but I can wrap it up if you want."

Charlie: "No, I'll do it."

Charlie: (sighs)

Charlie: "...not like it's the first time I've gotten here too late, and only been able to bandage you up AFTER she's already hurt you..."

Vaggie: "Charlie..."

Charlie: "Nope! No angst right now- bandaging! I'll be gentle, okay?"

Angel Dust: "That's what she s-"

Angel Dust: "-OW CHERRI watch it with the elbows will ya!? That rib's BROKEN!"

Husk: "So's your fucking brain, dumbass."

Cherri Bomb: "He doesn't have one."

Charlie: "Well does anyone have a NON-BLOODSTAINED bit of cloth I can use for-?"

Niffty: (soaked in blood) "No~"

Charlie: "-AGUH NIFFTY! Stop looking through her hole like that!"

Angel Dust: "...."

Cherri Dust: "For the love of yourself, don't."

Angel Dust: "......I've got nothin'."

Husk: "Thank FUCK."

Vaggie: "Hey look, when I flex my hand the stab wound blinks."

Angel Dust: "Wait actually I'm gonna throw up."

Cherri Bomb: "An open bodily hole you DON'T like? Today really is just full of miracles..."

Vaggie: "I can make it talk." (holds up hand to gf) "Hi sweetie."

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: ".... Sorry. I think I've lost a lot of blood."

Charlie: "Then let me blindfold and or gag your stab wound, before someone faints-"

Angel Dust: (THUD)

Charlie: "-just like that, great."

Cherri Bomb: "HA, oh that's priceless! Another fallen angel!"

Husk: "Why didn't you fucking catch him."

Cherri Bomb: "What am I, his boyfriend? You catch him!"

Husk: "I'm not that loser's boyfriend!"

Charlie: "Yet."

Husk: "THE FUCK YOU SAY??"

Vaggie: "Wait guys, pause the ship war-"

Husk: "FUCK YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S SHITTY SHIPPING!"

Vaggie: "GUYS."

Vaggie: "Where's Niffty?"

Everyone: "........."

Everyone: (looks down at angel dust's unconscious body)

Niffty: (Squished) (one arm sticking out) (thumbs up)

[monstersandmaw]

Male 'yautja' x female reader - alien 'reverse harem' - Chapter Two

Due to Patrons' enthusiasm over on Discord and your comments on the previous chapter (thank you!), here's the second chapter! As I said on Discord, this is gonna be a mix of reader POV and 'hunter'/yautja POV. I'm not giving away our friend's name in this one, but future 'hunter' chapters will have their names in. The next chapter is reader POV again, and we meet the rest of the crew.

Also there's this:

(text is a screenshot of a Discord message: Ghosti: It’s basically just an excuse for the reader to boink different aliens (sometimes more than one at once) but I’m really enjoying writing it so far.)

So yeah, this is just a fast track to 'how many aliens can the reader boink?'

Content in this chapter: young (but still adult) horny alien POV, self-deprecating attitude and self-worth issues, non-human anatomy referenced ('slick, sheath'), and his quite severely injured state continues...

Wordcount: 2690

<- previous chapter (free for anyone to read on Patreon)

Preview:

I wake slowly and painfully, blinking up at the ceiling of my ship and wondering how I came to be there, when the last thing I really remember was scrapping with the Enemy.

A series of rattling clicks rises in my throat and my mandibles twitch in indignation. Surely one of the others hasn't come to help me? It was my First Hunt, and they were honour-bound to let me make my first kill, or let me die trying! I had actually thought I was going to die when the Enemy’s tail spike punched through my gut like that. And my shoulder.

Actually, now that I think of it, I’m surprised that I’m alive enough to be surprised at all.

Fuck. Ouch.

Oh, fuck, my guts hurt.

Nothing in training ever hurt like this. It does hurt less than it did when it first happened though, and all because…

…because the human helped me.

Fuck.

Did this even count as a successful First Hunt if… No. I killed it. I ripped its damned head right off. I feel a growl rumble up from my chest and my mandibles flare. Nasty fucker. The growling makes my stomach hurt though, so I force it to stop.

Where is the human now?

Carefully, I sit up and discover that the healing gel has closed off the wounds and kick-started the healing process. My flesh beneath the hardened patches of gel feels itchy where my body is already knitting itself back together, and it’s so tender, but at least it’s healing. I’ve always hated feeling weak and small. Ever since I was a pup and I was made to feel less than worthy because of my runty size. Well fuck everyone who said I’d never make a Blooded Warrior. I’ve found my squad now and we hunt together. And now I’ve completed my First Hunt and killed an Enemy by myself. Even Stark tolerates me, though I can tell he still thought I wouldn't survive this hunt.

Well, I did it, so fuck him. Actually, if I know Stark, it’ll be the big guy getting fucked, not Stark himself. He’s the only one of us who never takes it. Whenever he fucks me, I always end up walking funny afterwards. Bastard. Gods, it always feels so good though…

Despite my injuries, my cock twitches deep in its sheath at the memory of getting pounded by Stark only a few days ago, and I groan. Now’s really not the time to think about being fucked. Alchemist is only a few years older than me, but no one else on our squad seems to have as high a sex drive as I do, damn it. The Old Man says it’s natural and healthy – desired even – in one my age, but I can’t help feeling a bit embarrassed that it takes quite so little to set me off. It’s not like I’m a randy adolescent in the communal barracks anymore. Gods, that was… inconvenient.

Fuck.

All the same, I’m halfway to slicking myself already at the mere memory of Stark’s aggressive snarls and the way his claws had actually punctured the skin at my hips while he drove his cock repeatedly into my dripping wet slit…

Fuck fuck fuck. Not now, you moron.

With another chittering sigh, I ignore the way my sheath is throbbing, and swing my legs off the bed before I leave a mess on the sheets. When my clawed paws hit the cold ceramic floor, I have a go at standing up. It takes me two goes, but I get myself upright eventually, and then I cast about for my helmet.

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[matchadobo]

Omg i love your "cuddles" 🥰🥰🥰😍😍❤️🤩. Would you do a second maybe nsfw part? 🙏🙏🙏😋

KIDD & KILLER; cuddles pt. 2

part 1 is gn reader coded (still welcome for whoever wants to read 🥰)

wc: 1448 warning/s: very nsfw, 🔞, afab reader, 3some, polyamory

it was not long before the cuddles became a regular thing. you'd always end up crawling on kidd's bed, your perfume had already rubbed on his sheets. kidd will be on your right and killer will be on your left. a unanimous position that the three of you had agreed on without talking about it.

what comes to mind about 'not talking about it' is the thing you three have going on. everyone notices the officially unofficial relationship between the three of you. it's honestly suffocating to see you three tiptoeing towards each other.

everyday on the ship, it's you three who are always beside one another. on the dinner table, you sit next to each other and no one else in the ship even thinks about changing that. when in groups, they always pick dibs on you.

nobody hits you up because they know who they're gonna piss off and they're immediately going to be thrown off the ship if they even attempt to. same goes with them. ever since you came into the picture and they've laid dibs on you ,those who have even a shred of attraction to the captain and his first mate dissipated.

they envy you really, sleeping with the captain and his right hand man. be it nothing happened between the three of you. but something deep inside you hopes that something really does happen. you're too scared to break the thing you three got going on to even bring that up.

"you been quiet, name. it's scarin' me." kidd cleared his throat, his flesh arm cushioning thr back of his head. you were in between them. your arm was lousily slung over the surface of his torso while killer embraced you firmly by your waist, his chin nestled on your shoulder as he was deep asleep with parted lips and little snores.

you flinched a little, eyes trailing from the small window that let a wee bit of moonlight in and illuminated kidd's bright amber eyes staring at his ceiling. "nothing, just trying to sleep. why are you still awake?"

he heaved a deep breath before answering. "a thought been buggin' the shit outta me, you know?"

you furrowed your brows a little, it's so rare kidd opens up about something. "want to talk about it?" you snuggled closer but didn't move so haphazardly so as to not jolt killer awake, he's a light sleeper after all.

"bout time really. though kil's knocked the fuck out." he nodded to killer. further confusing you more.

"hey he's been working hard all day, let him. besides, can you not tell me without him?" you looked up at him expectantly, but he kept his eyes glued to the ceiling.

"'s about us. the three of us." he finally looked at you.

the mellow roar of the evening tide evidently disturbed the silence that pooled in the room. you returned his gaze but you held hesitation in yours while his had an earnest intent.

"i'm listening. go on." you broke eye contact, eyes trailing down to the steady heaving of kidd's chest.

"don't play clueless with me, aye? surely it crossed your mind." a little chuckle coated his speech. "thought about what it'd be if we three fucked or somethin'."

your spit got caught in your throat and you started coughing vehemently, waking killer up in the process who immediately rubbed your back to ease your plight while still half asleep. kidd couldn't contain his laughter he had to sit up.

"what... what did you do kidd? why is name coughing so bad?" killer rubbed his eye with his other hand to see better while the other rubbed on your back. he looked to the side to see kidd laughing hysterically with a hand on his stomach.

"bonnie's all flustered, it's the cutest thing." kidd started, wiping a tear by the corner of his eye.

"shut up! look, because of your dumbass killer's awake." you buried your face in your hands, all the blood rushing to your cheeks.

"me? baby, who's the one who coughed 'er heart out?" he teased, tone mocking as he poked fun at you.

"are you even serious or are you just playing with me?" you looked over to kidd once you had composed yourself, irritated as you approach him.

"oh, bonnie. i'm down if you're down, killer's too. we're just waitin' for your go signal." he tapped the bottom of your chin with his index.

"i-i... haven't tried doing it with two guys." you suddenly grow shy, you rubbed on your shoulders as you looked down on your blanketed thighs.

killer, who immediately picked up on the situation, reached over to ruffle your hair. "that's fine, dove. it doesn't matter." his fingers trailed down to massaging the side of your neck gently, reveling in the display of skin and the softness of it. "besides, if you need that reassurance, i really do want to do it with you, hm? " he placed a soft peck on your shoulder, his kiss on your bare skin raised your goosebumps from head to toe.

"what he said." kidd stretched before leaning on the headboard with an arm behind his head. "woulda love to see you naked, though. scratches an itch in my brain."

with their statements, you almost felt like smoke is coming out of you from the increase of heat in your system. your breathing was uneven, you could hear your heart just begging to calm down, and your cheeks felt hotter than the planet near the damn sun. it was all too much for you.

next thing you know, kidd's head was buried deep in your cunt and you were almost breaking your neck from making out with killer from behind. you were between killer's legs while kidd was between yours. killer massaged your mounds from under your shirt while he sucked on your lips. his cock growing hard on your back. it honestly surprised you to see him acting like this.

kidd was busy dragging his tongue feverishly across your folds, his hand pried your legs open as they shiver through the sheer force of his tongue. his nails were digging by the flesh of your thighs as he watched you melt before killer's frame.

after a long while of kidd getting drunk on your cunt, his lips moved back to your stomach up to space that separates your breasts towards your neck and to your lips. catching your lips from killer's. as the redhead got busy with kissing you, you felt his damp length brushing up by your stomach in much need of friction from you.

killer helped you off your shirt and unhooked your bra, his large hands didn't leave your breasts as he played with it from behind. he left trails of dark hickeys on the juncture of your neck and shoulder while pinching the bundle of nerves in the middle of your mounds.

as requested by your captain, you worked yourself up in giving him a handjob while melting in killer's stimulation. kidd had your lips captured by his, swallowing up your moans as he fucked himself on your fist.

you started working up a sweat, beads of them pooling by your forehead. positioned by kidd's lap as he filled you up while you choke on killer's length. your ass slamming by the surface of his toned abdomen as he placed his arm at the back of his head to enjoy the view of the two of you. killer got a firm grip on your locks as he guided your mouth to his sweet spots, throwing his head back as you gobble him whole. kidd relished the view from your behind as you struggle to cater to two of them while being cock drunk.

it wasn't long before they came on you, pumping their lengths over your heaving, sweating body.

"you know i'm a man of no self control but hell, wouldn't wanna get ya pregnant, aye?" kidd grunted, panting as he squeezed the last drop of his seed.

"don't even try. fuck you, kidd." you squirmed under them as the throbbing in your lower half hit you like a truck, curling into a fetal position.

"oh you already did." kidd gave your ass a little slap before lying down the same position as you three usually do.

"don't tease her too much now, kidd. she's spent, hm? i think it's best if we all get some rest, yeah?" killer lied down on your opposite side, hooking his arm under your head to cushion it as he pulled you closer to his embrace just so he could plant a kiss on your forehead. "bunny's done so well after all, didn't she?"

omg?? this was my first time making a 3some smut so if this was all over the place don't eat me 😓

hello anon!🌷 i was really hesitant to make this bc it's a 3some and i haven't done anything of the sort which exceeds fluff. but that doesn't mean i don't want to, ok? it's just uncharted waters, that's why this is short. i still hope i delivered?? 🫶 plus, i did this as afab/fem reader bc i can't make smut for gn readers 😭