#everyone is going to know im dumb and fake and hate me

[accio-sabrina]

my college starts tomorrow and I'm so scared I feel like I'm being hunted for sport, i have tried on like a million outfits and i hate everything and they didn't even tell us what to bring so im just guessing but what if everyone else got a list of stuff to bring but they just forgot to email me? also what if everyone hates me and I have no friends for 5 years

[hyukalyptus]

or else what? —hueningkai x fem!reader | enemies to enemies with benefits(?). NSFW/MDNI!

cw. mean dom!kai, reader and kai are mean to each other, feat. soob and yj and their partners for a very short amount of time (not in smut part tho), camping, reader is a type A boss bitch kinda person, mentions of rain, kissing, hair pulling, mean names (slut, stupid, dumb, loser), pet names (baby), sex, light restraining, ruined orgasms, biting, nipple play, some dacryphilia, maybe a lil bit of publicness? (theyre at a campsite but implied no one else can hear anything), creampie, reader is embarrassed that she did stuff w kai and tells him, reader has a dog, reader is good at video games, chubby!reader implied, lmk if i missed anything! notes. im usually not one for mean stuff, im way more of a softie, so i tried something new but im quite nervous about it. oh! and this is based off a thought i posted the other week. lmk what ya think ;) smut under cut. wc. 4.1K

“Why are you being nice to him?” You snap at your dog who is currently greeting your friends at your front door. Normally, you wouldn’t mind, of course, but they have taken a particular liking for Kai. Apparently, you’re the only person in the world that hates him. Kai that is. The constant laughing, the sickeningly sweet optimism, and his sheer humility—it all screams fake to you.

You hate every little thing about him and he hates you right back. The way you disagree with everything he says just because, how you’re always pointing out when he’s wrong, how you seem to be depressingly pessimistic. You put up with each other for the sake of your friends—not everyone in every friend group has to get along, right? 

“Nice to see you too.”

“Someone separate them please?” Soobin asks. “I can’t deal with another argument right now.” He rubs his temple out of caution.

Everyone’s over for a game night—Soobin, his partner, River, as well as Yeonjun, and your best friend, Sage, who has been in an on-again-off-again relationship with him since they met. Right now, they’re off, but definitely still friendly. 

“How about some Smash Bros?”

“No,” you say to Kai. “Mario Kart.” 

“River and I have been talking about playing Smash Bros all day.”

“Not my problem.”

“How about we take a vote?” He suggests. You reluctantly agree, watching as you’re the only one that raises your hand to play Mario Kart before you glare at Sage, guilting them into voting for it too. Regardless of their vote, though, it’s still four against two. Kai sticks out his tongue at you just to rub it in your face. God, you hate it when he wins. 

“Maybe you should stop pouting,” Sage says, nudging your shoulder. “Beat him in the next round. You know you’re better than anyone here.” You take the opportunity to easily—and quickly—beat Kai in a one-on-one match. Now it’s his turn to pout while he grabs a snack. 

Luckily, everyone makes it through the night without any blood or tears shed but when the group’s annual camping trip comes up, the cold weather mixed with the prolonged close proximity to people leads to a grumpy Kai arguing with an even grumpier you. 

The reason behind the initial argument is long forgotten—you’re seemingly arguing over anything and everything from you stopping too often to take pictures to him taking sips from your water bottle, which he insists was an accident. Everyone’s keeping you two as far apart from each other as possible, with him leading the pack and you bringing up the rear. 

“It looks like it’s gonna rain soon,” River points out. “We should probably set up camp.” Everyone agrees, setting sights for the campsite. 

“What do you think about this spot over here, Sage?” You ask but are immediately answered with the guiltiest look from them, eyes glancing between you and Yeonjun. “Don’t tell me.” You roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day. “You’re back together?” You ask quietly.

“Please don’t be mad,” they say. “It’s going really well this time.” 

“I didn’t bring another tent.” 

“Kai’s tent is huge,” Sage says, loud enough for Kai to hear, as if they’re making a suggestion to him. “Can she stay with you?” 

“I thought Yeonjun was sleeping in my tent.” 

“I was gonna stay in Sage’s,” Yeonjun responds, with an attempted wink. Everyone looks between each other, dodging each other’s eyes, no one wanting to give in. Everyone’s desperate to stay with their partners but you and Kai are desperate to not spend a single second alone together. Soobin and River won’t budge. Sage’s pleading eyes looking at you added to the pleading eyes Yeonjun sends Kai, you look at each other before he finally agrees—

“Fine,” Kai says, dropping the poles to the ground. “You gotta finish setting it up though. I’m gonna go get some water and refill the cooler with ice,” he says, leaving you with an impossible task. There’s a reason you didn’t bring your own tent.

Struggling with the tent for at least thirty minutes, it’s even less put together than when Kai turned the task over to you. The two couples have snuggled into their tents for the night and the drizzle is quickly turning into a downpour. Soaked, cold, and annoyed, Kai’s making his way back to you, anger etched all over his face when he doesn’t have a dry tent to walk into. 

“Do you not know how to put a tent up?”

“No, actually I don’t.”

“I could’ve set up three tents by now,” he says, but doesn’t have time to be much madder—he’s gotta get a roof over his own head. Without speaking, he takes over completely, getting it up in about ten minutes. It would’ve been quicker if he didn’t have to work in the rain. 

Settling in, you try to dry the parts of the interior that got wet from the rain, but it doesn’t help much. He peels off his now-soaked shirt and searches for a dry one. 

“Ah, that was my last t-shirt.”

“I’m sorry. I tried—”

“I don’t care,” he stops you, holding his hand up.

Falling silent, you change the subject, “What took you so long anyway?”

“I was talking to someone at the ice machine for a while,” he says matter-of-factly, holding up his laptop. “Wanna watch a movie before bed?” 

“No.” You lay your head on the stupid camping pillow hoping for some rest. But your plan is disrupted by the blaring trumpets of a movie intro. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Watching a movie.” 

“Turn it off.” 

“I didn’t ask for permission to watch it,” he points out. “I asked if you wanted to join me.”

“Isn’t it gonna bother the other campers?”

“Doubt they can hear it.”

Frustrated, you roll over and cover your ears. You thought you could sleep through anything, especially with the rain pouring outside, but you were wrong. Eventually, you give up, throwing your pillow down and slamming his laptop shut.

“What are you doing? You asshole—” he snaps, glaring at you. 

“Me? You’re the ass for not letting me sleep,” you fire back, narrowing your eyes. 

“I wasn’t supposed to have you in here anyway,” he mutters. 

“I’m not an asshole,” you say defensively.

“Yes, you are,” he spits. “You always have to have it your way.”

“I’m not having this argument with you,” you say, turning away and trying to block out his escalating anger. You pull the thin camping blanket over your head, desperate for some peace.

He huffs, clearly frustrated, but you ignore it. The sound of rain tapping against the tent becomes your only solace. Minutes pass in silence, each second stretching longer than the last. You can feel his restless energy beside you, the tension almost palpable.

“I can't believe you. You're so annoying,” he says. 

You simply lay there, trying to block out the muttering under his breath. The stickiness of the damp sleeping bags and the cold camping pillow are ridiculously uncomfortable.

Remembering the clean, dry blankets you have stored in the trunk of your car for emergencies and you get up to grab them silently, ignoring his insults. Returning with them, his eyes light up and he asks, “Where did you get those?”

“My car,” you answer nonchalantly, setting up your new bed. You try to salvage what you can of the sleeping bag to have some kind of barrier between the damp tent floor and your blanket, but it’s not perfect. Eventually settling on the makeshift bed, you can feel Kai staring at you through your closed eyelids. “Can I help you?” You ask without opening them.

“Aren’t you gonna share those with me?”

“Why would I?”

“You’re the one that got our other blankets and the tent all wet.” 

“Not my fault you didn’t bring back-up.”

He exasperates, clearly done with you and all your…what does he call it? Selfish nonsense? “I can’t believe I have to share a tent with you. And you get it all wet in here and won’t even share the dry blankets with me?” 

“You think I'm happy about this either?" Your arms flail before you go on one of your famous rants. “I don’t even like camping but I come along with Sage because they’re my best friend and I was looking forward to spending time alone with them to talk but because they decided to start fucking Yeonjun again I have to sleep in a tent with you, which you make me put together even though I don’t know how to put it together so its disgusting in here and you expect me to share my blankets with you? You’re never nice to me why the fuck would I share them with you? You’re always making me look like a bitch in front of everyone when I know you’re just—”

Kai suddenly yanks you by your elbow and says, “Would you please just shut up?” 

Seeing him this mad…you don’t know if he’s ever looked like this. Red in the face, eyebrows furrowed, not to mention he’s still shirtless since all his clothes are soaked. You look over his body—you’ve never seen him before—and you realize just how muscular he is. Broad-shouldered, defined pecs and ripples in his arms, particularly the one gripping you so harshly. 

You smirk at him before saying, “Make me." Looking over your face, he doesn’t know what comes over him. Maybe it's anger or frustration or the ambiance from the sound of rain against the tent and the small camping lamp, but he can’t help it. 

Crashing his lips into yours, you’re taken by surprise. You feel the power his plush lips give off, but only for a second before you push him off. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“I don’t–I don’t know, I, uh…” He stutters, trying to find something—anything—to say, but no luck. Looking at each other, something clicks like we need to have each other now. 

You pull him to you by cupping his cheeks and crashing your lips into his quickly, eagerly, desperately. Hands in his hair, his on your hips, he squeezes your chubby thighs, wanting more, but—

“Woah, woah, woah, what’s happening? You and I are making out?” He asks, shock etched across his face as his eyebrows furrow. 

“Well, not anymore.” You look at him confused. “Did you forget you’re the one that kissed me first?”

“That was just so you’d shut up.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want me. I see you staring at my tits all the time.” You smirk at him and his eyes shift, admitting guilt. Realization hits you. “...Is that why you’re such an ass to me? Because you’re sexually frustrated whenever you’re around me? Do you…like me?”

“No,” he says defensively. “I hate you actually. You’re so annoying.” He rolls his eyes. “But the most annoying part about you is how much I wanna fuck you.” Your eyes widen, but a smile slowly spreads across his face before he asks, “Is that why you’re such an ass to me?” Leaning in closer, he examines your face, looking for any sign of weakness. “It is, isn’t it?” You shake your head. “Say it.” 

“Kai.”

“I wanna hear you say you want me.”

The quickest, most disingenuous, “I want you,” comes out of your mouth. Did you really just say that? It’s not like you haven’t noticed how handsome he’d gotten recently, but it’s also not like you’ve ever thought about doing anything. Before tonight, the thought of him even touching you made your skin crawl. But right now, you don’t think you’ve ever wanted anyone more. Reaching for him, you add, “Now shut up and fuck me.” 

Still shirtless from when he peeled off the wet fabric a few minutes ago, he tugs at the hem of your tank top. Slipping it off you, his eyebrows raise at your bare chest—full and needing to be squeezed, which he does immediately. Your nipples perky and hard from arousal and the cool air are simply begging to be sucked. His warm, welcoming and wet lips wrapped around one elicit a sound from you that you hope is covered by the rain outside. 

The others would never let you live it down if they heard you two fucking. 

Mouths all over—his on your nipples and your collarbone, yours on his mouth and his shoulders—it’s a whirlwind of kisses and pure lust. 

“I hate you,” you murmur, adding a nice hair tug for good measure. 

“I hate you too,” he responds. “So much.” The tent, damp from the rain and hot breath warms you up, skin slick with a sheen of sweat. Sleeping bags and blankets ruffle underneath your bodies as you rush to undress each other fully. “You’re so fucking stupid,” he says against your ear. “Don’t even know how to put up a tent. Need my help for everything?”

“You’ve never been any help to me,” you respond. “Plus, we wouldn’t have gotten rained on so much if you didn’t get lost leading everyone. Need your phone for everything? Can’t even handle one short hike? Good for nothing,” you spit. “Except…you’re kind of a good kisser.”

“Wish I could say the same about you.”

“Don’t lie,” you smirk. “I’m an incredible kisser.” He may roll his eyes but he heads straight back for more. “But you’re taking too long. Hurry up,” you say between kisses. Grazing his hand down your hip, he slides two fingers between your pussy lips and—

“You’re that wet for me and I’ve barely even touched you? Desperate slut.” You grab his cock, making him jerk forward, his mouth dropping open.

“You’re already that hard and I’ve barely even touched you? Horny loser.” Without warning, he lines himself up at your entrance and shoves his cock inside you, forcing a yelp from your throat.

Covering your mouth, he leans down, gracing his lips over your earlobe before whispering, “You never shut the fuck up, do you?” And he’s relentless. Fucking you fast and hard, whispering mean, dirty shit in your ear, shivers rolling down your spine at every syllable. “You don’t deserve to feel this good.”

“And you think you deserve this pussy?” You fire right back. Although, he does seem to be winning with the sheer amount of moaning coming from your mouth compared to his controlled sounds and expert movements. You try your best to compose yourself before saying, “A dumb fuck like you doesn’t deserve to even touch my skin.”

“Is that why you gasp when I pinch your nipples?” He asks. You narrow your eyes at him. But he definitely proves himself right. Rolling your nipple between his pointer finger and thumb, basking in the chills it gives you, clearly sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body. You reach to touch his broad chest but he stops you. “Nuh-uh. Hands to yourself,” he says, gripping your wrists harshly and pinning them to the ground. 

Suddenly, you’ve never wanted to touch someone more in your life. The way his skin glistens, muscles looking so strong, a bead of sweat drips between his pecs and you swear you clit twitches. Honestly, you’re in shock. What do you usually do with your hands? Since when has he been like this? An absolute slut? A mean slut at that. But you love it. 

Your hands stay at your side after he moves to squeeze your body again but you can’t help but reach up—you’re desperate to touch him. He halts, lifting his fingers off your tits. 

“Every time you try to touch me without permission, I’ll stop touching you,” he says. You surrender, putting your hands under your back. “Good girl.”

Fuck. That felt nice too. Being degraded is one thing, but getting rewarded for following directions? That’s delicious. Heat rushes to your ears. 

“Please—”

“Ah,” he places his pointer finger over your lips. “I told you to shut up, didn’t I?” You make a show of keeping your mouth closed. “You learn so fast, hm?” You smile—a genuine giddy smile. “So cute,” he whispers, placing a thumb on your clit, circling it gently. 

But when a weak little, “Fuck,” slips out of your mouth, he stops.

“Did I say you could speak?” You shake your head. Running a thumb across the apple of your cheek, he gives you a look somewhere between my pathetic little slut and you’re being such a good girl for me. 

Keeping your mouth shut, your body is in complete bliss, succumbing to the overwhelming pleasure his cock and hands are giving you. You’re positively drunk on his cock, letting him do whatever he wants to you—touch you here, lick and bite you there, kiss on this, suck on that—not only to be his good little slut, but because it feels fucking incredible. He knows what he’s doing, you’ll give him that. 

Then you feel it, your orgasm is slowly approaching, every move he makes pushes you closer and closer to the edge. And he knows it. The little whimpers you make, trying to hold back. The twitches your clit makes. The pulses of your pussy. 

“Aw,” he starts condescendingly. “Is my good little slut gonna come for me?” You nod rapidly, being sure to keep your mouth shut and movements under control. The last thing you want right now is a punishment. Or maybe it’s the thing you want most? The lines are too blurred to tell. “Say it.”

You can barely mumble it, but you manage to croak out, “You’re gonna make me come, Kai.”

“Good girl.” He doesn’t change a single thing. It creeps closer and closer until you can feel your body start to tip over. And then he does something…expected? Surprising? Honestly, you’re not so sure anymore. He stops, your orgasm so close to crashing over you, ruined by this son of a bitch. 

Tears form in your eyes. Was he really doing this to you? This annoying, stupid fucking jerk you’ve hated for years making you cry over his cock? 

“That’s for being such a goddamn nuisance since the day I met you.” 

What do you do now? Be a jerk to him? Overpower him and pin him down? Sit there like a hole needing to be fucked? You decide to go for the last option, hoping he’ll make you come as fast as he can. Although, truthfully, you feel like one swipe across your clit would make you finish you at this point. 

“Tell me you don’t deserve me.” You keep your mouth shut. Gently wrapping his fingers around your throat, you stare at his eyes. He chuckles like he’s proud of you before he says, “You may speak.” 

“I don’t deserve you.” He squeezes harder, almost like he’s saying that’s not enough. “I don’t deserve to feel this good. I don’t deserve your cock. I don’t deserve…anything.” 

“Good girl.” He loosens his grip around your throat. He’s done with his fun now. The ache in both of your bodies is getting unbearable and he’s determined to make you come first. Which he supposes he already did, despite ruining it for you. But he’s gotta get you back to that place before he gets there first.

Returning to the hard and fast pace of fucking you like he was a few minutes ago, his cock slams in and out and out of your pussy, ripples running down your thighs, ass, tits, everywhere. He stares in awe of your perfect tits bouncing in rhythm with his thrusts. 

Your mouth opens and closes like you want to say something, but if you speak without permission, he may stop. You decide to take a chance anyway. 

“Kai…” you squeak out through the rough movements. He responds with a sweet yet sinister smile that says you may speak. “You are gonna let me come, right?”

His eyebrows furrow, face full of pity. He asks, “You think I should?”

“You better or I’ll…” You trail off.

“You’ll what?” He stops moving, therefore earning a pathetic whine from you, trying to protest without words. “What are you gonna do to me?”

Now what’s a good punishment for him? Clearly, he’s used to being the one punishing his sexual partners—you wonder how his other subs have dealt with him being a jerk. You don’t want to overpower him like you thought you did. There’s something about being pinned down like this, letting him do whatever he wants, not having to move an inch. You’re such a powerful woman everywhere else—the type A personality type, which you admit can get overwhelmingly exhausting. 

Letting someone take full control over you like this—it’s relaxing. You wonder how much he’s enjoying himself but you notice the way his eyes flutter when you simply tighten your pussy around his cock, how he hasn’t stopped touching you since you finally let him, hell, he kissed you first. Of course he’s enjoying this. And bingo—you’ve got just enough control to get what you want. 

“I’ll never let you fuck me like this again.” 

Narrowing his eyes at you, it's like he knows that you caught him in the act of something. Cocking his head to the side, he asks, “We can’t let that happen, now can we?”

Somehow, the energy shifts to be even more desperate. Taking out years and years of frustration from hating each other while simultaneously wanting to have sex. Fucking as fast as your bodies will let you, the tent fills with the absolutely obscene noises coming from your mouths. The only reason you aren’t holding back is because the rain beating against the plastic tent and the occasional thunder thankfully covers most of it. 

When one of his thumbs finds your clit, you feel like you’re floating. The air falls out of your lungs, pleasure taking over your body as you relax into your orgasm. You’re drunk, high on his cock and the only thing you’re seeing are stars and that stupid smirk plastered across his face. It rips through your body like lightning, shooting out your toes and fingertips. 

“Talk to me,” he says breathlessly in your ear. But you can’t. You can only manage strangled noises to let him know you’re having an incredible orgasm. 

Coming down from your high, though, you finally say, “Fuck, that felt so good.” 

“Tell me how good.”

“You made me feel so…so fucking good, Kai,” you say, shaking your head, unsure of what else to tell him. Call it post-nut clarity, but why the hell were you having sex with him again? Honestly, who cares? He’s actually pretty hot and he’s damn good at this too. What happens after this? Enemies with benefits? Never mention it again? You make a note to come back to this with him later. But right now, you need to get to the matter at hand. “Why don’t you tell me how good I feel?”

“Oh baby, you feel so good,” he says. “Your pussy might be the only thing I like about you.” He chuckles, his mouth dropping open, undeniably close to his own orgasm. “Well, maybe your pussy and your tits.” Burying his face between them, he bites down on the plush, groaning against your skin. 

“I need you to come inside me, Kai. Please.” 

“Keep talking to me like that.”

And you do. Giving him praise, touching him in all the right places, putting on a show for him. With a few final thrusts, he groans, whispering something you don’t catch, but you feel it. Him coming inside you with a sexy groan, covering your chest in the sloppiest of kisses and bites. 

Catching his breath, he whispers breathlessly, “Damn. That was good.” Sliding out of you, an awkwardness catches up with the two of you. You push yourself up on your elbows, attempting to gather your thoughts. His eyes are still dark with desire as he looks at you with a satisfied smirk. 

“Listen,” you say, covering your chest with your blanket. “This can’t happen again.” His smile drops.

“What?”

“The fact that we did that,” you gesture between the two of you, “never leaves this tent, you hear me?” Cocking his head to the side, he nods awkwardly. “No one can find out about this. God, I’d be so embarrassed. Let’s just…get some sleep.” 

Did you forget about what he said?

Or I’ll never let you fuck my like this again. Using that as a threat if he didn’t let you come meant you wanted to do it again, no? Slowly putting on his boxers again, he agrees, turning away from you to try and get some sleep but, all of a sudden, there’s too much on his mind. 

[bandgie]

The Other Ωmega

Changbin x fem!reader

warnings: MDNI 18+, anal (m!), omegaverse!!, changbin lies about being an alpha hehe, brief fingering (m!), handjob, blowjob, v slight cum eating, omegaxomega, cheating scare but everyone is loyal!, feminization (I think?), vague overstim mentions (m!) notes!:  this is an omegaverse fic! here is some info about that universe :)

2.3k words

From: Bin<3

sorry baby! I think im in a rut won't be able to go out tonight :((

Maybe you should be more understanding, but you can't find any compassion as you read the text message. What kind of alpha doesn't want to hang out with their omega when they're in a rut? You huff and don't reply, setting your phone on the floor.

Your makeup was already done and you spent the entire night before picking your outfit. Changbin is a caring lover, but he always avoids you when his rut starts. At first, you thought it was because he was being careful, but it's been nearly half a year and he still hasn't let you near during that time.

Picking up your phone, you message your friend.

he blew me off again

Felix replies almost immediately.

From: lixiepixie!

that bitch, dump him

From: You

don't be dumb. he said he's in a rut or whatever

From: lixiepixie!

I hate to say it, but do you think he's seeing someone else? bcuz it doesn't make sense that he wouldn't want to see you when he's like that unless...

Anything you were planning to type dies in your mind. Seeing someone else? No, no way. Changbin loves you, adores you even. There's never been a moment when you've thought otherwise, but reading Felix's messages puts disturbing doubts in your mind.

From: You

no, that's not it

From: lixiepixie!

then just show up at his place! he's an alpha, he'll be happy to see you. hes prolly just nervous about fucking you while hes in a rut for the first time

That makes more sense to you. After all, it would be a waste to have put on your best makeup just for no one to see. You shoot a quick text to Changbin telling him you hope he feels better before getting dressed. A part of you is nervous about showing up, Changbin is so keen on making sure you two are separate during his rut. You wonder if he gets overly dominant. If he would manhandle you into the position he wants before taking you. 

The thought excites you and a feeling of pleasure tightens in your stomach. Changbin might be a completely different lover in bed when he's in a rut, but you're an omega. His omega. Everything about you is built for him. You can take it.

You know where Changbin keeps his spare key to the front door. It's all too simple to call it breaking and entering as you lift the fake plant pot on the front porch and stick it in the keyhole. You're nearly buzzing with excitement as you take the first few steps into his place.

The smell hits you immediately. 

It's not the musky scent you're used to, but a sweet fragrance that forces its way into your lungs. Your body responds quicker than your brain. Carnal desire begins to fill your body in an almost uncomfortable way. Your breathing grows ragged, and your heart rate increases. 

Another omega is here, and they're in heat.

You push away your bodily reactions to march deeper into his house, ignoring how the first signs of arousal drip down your thighs. The closer you get to Changbin's room, the stronger the smell gets. You're not even his front door yet and you can hear him. The way he moans whimpers, cries out.

Anguish clenches your heart, but you mask it with fury as you swing the door open. "Who the fuck- Oh...Oh."

In hindsight, maybe it should be just Changbin in the room, but you hardly feel gratitude when you see your lover completely nude on his back, legs spread with a dildo between them. He noticed you, he made eye contact with you, but his hand keeps pumping the silicone cock in and out of his ass. 

"B-baby?" His hazy eyes regard you in the doorway. "Mmm my baby, want my baby." The pace he's set for himself falters, using one hand to reach out to you. Changbin's eyes are needy and filled with raw desire. You don't think twice when you walk to him, standing beside the bed. 

You take his hand in yours, feeling his burning skin. His palms are sweaty on your own as you gently sit on the bed. 

"Binnie?" Your voice is filled with confusion. "W-what's going on?" To answer your question, Changbin takes his hand holding yours to his mouth. He kisses and nips your skin, moaning at your taste. The feeling of his tongue makes you gasp, chills breaking out across your body. 

With the pheromones suffocating you in his room, you don't know how much longer you'll last. You want nothing more than to hop on his fat cock that leaks on his tummy. It takes immense strength to keep eye contact on his flustered face. 

Changbin pops one of your fingers in his mouth, swirling the digit around his tongue. "Mmf tastes so good. Baby, you taste so good." The squelching of his dildo grows louder as he quickens his wrist. "Fuck I...I need you."

You'll argue with him another time. The smell of him overtakes your sense and mind as you place yourself in front of his bent legs, The pretty dress you put on for your date night hikes up to your thighs. Changbin vibrates with need as you take the toy in your grasp and begin to pull it out.

"No!" He shouts. "Don't pull it out! Keep it in. Please please please please."

But you have to pull it out. You have to see the way his ass eagerly clenches onto the toy as you slide it out. How his gaping hole pulses around nothing once you've completely removed it. Changbin whines and picks his head up, eyes teary and lips pouting.

The sight of his lower half makes your mouth water, salvia pooling in your mouth at his pretty rim. "Ohhh," you sigh dreamily. "You have such a pretty pussy, my Binnie."

Changbin squeals when your warm fingers rub against his wetness. His arousal gathers on your digits, leaking from his ass. 

"Nuh-uh," your alpha- no. Your omega shakes his head. "N-not true." Changbin bites his lower lip in concentration as he forms his words. "Binnie's baby has the prettiest pussy."

His slurred words make you smile, pressing your middle finger slightly into his entrance. "Why did you hide this from me, hm?" You pull your finger away to give gentle slaps to his rim. The light impact makes Changbin's hips jolt upwards, and whines leave his lips. "You know I already love your cock. I'd love your pussy too."

The way Changbin keeps moaning makes you rub your thighs together. You can feel how sticky your underwear has gotten from watching his true state. You prod his entrance with the tip of the dildo, using your free hand to spread one of his cheeks for viewing. 

"Gonna...gonna make me feel good?" Changbin frames it in a question.

Your boyfriend always knows how to make you feel good, but you're not sure if you can do the same. You're not an alpha. You're not used to being on the giving end of relationships, but Changbin's so good to you. Making sure your heat is taken care of while he was an omega himself the entire time. 

"I'll try, baby," you don't sound too confident. "Binnie's baby is gonna try, okay?" With that, you press the dildo deeper inside him. Changbin reactions are immediate, lips forming a silent 'o' shape as his eyebrows pinch together. He groans as you settle the toy deep until the sack touches his ass. You gently pull it back and in a few inches, trying to set a pace.

Every time you move the silicone even an inch, the sounds of Changbin's slick resonates throughout his room. His arousal clings to the toy and drips down his ass. You use your finger to swipe the essence and place the sticky subtle in your mouth. 

The taste settles over your tongue and you moan. Everything about Changbin at this moment screams omega, and you don't know how you didn't notice it before. His plump chest, his short stature, the roundness of his ass. All the signs were there, yet it took you fucking a dildo into him to realize his true nature. 

"God. You take cock so well," you're filled with awe at the sight of Changbin's rim swallowing the fake dick easily. The throbbing between your legs grows unbearable, but you have to ignore it. You busy the hand on his ass to reach towards his aching cock. 

It throbs in your hand and Changbin cries out. Who knows how many times he's cum before you showed up, but his entire being is begging to be fucked until he can't take it. You know the feeling all too well, and you're more than happy to help.

The sound of Changbin's drenched cock mixes with the sound his the dildo in his ass. Your fist becomes wet immediately, only encouraging you to stroke him at an unforgiving pace. With a tight grip, you pull his skin down to expose his sensitive head. White goo leaks from his tip, slinging down until it drips down his soft stomach. 

"Ooo, oh! Like that! Just like that, baby," Changbin muffles his words into the pillow beside him. 

With your thumb, you rub the pad of your digits over his slit. His pre-cum sticks to your skin, connecting it to his tip. You swirl it around his flushed head until he squirms, hips bucking to shy away from your overwhelming touch. 

"You keep moving," you tut playfully. "How am I supposed to make you cum?"

Changbin whines in response, thighs shaking as he tries his best to stay still for you. "I'm good. I'll be good, baby. Don't stop." His compliance makes you smile and you reward him by wrapping your soft lips around his pink tip. 

The sound he makes is closer to a howl than a moan. His stomach tenses at the feel of your hot mouth, spurting more salty release on your tongue. You suck softly on him, making sure you get a taste of his natural tang. Changbin digs his heels into the matter as your mouth hollows, creating a powerful suction for his cock.

The dildo in your hand falters, slowing its pace so you could focus on sucking your boyfriend off. Even then, you swear you can feel his hole clenching on the toy, trying to get the tip of the silicone to touch the womb deep in his stomach. 

"Oh my god. Oh my god," Changbin's voice is strained. He lifts his head to watch how your head slowly bops up and down his shaft, drool leaking from the sides of your mouth. You focus your gaze upwards, locking eyes with him. With his attention on you, you try your best to shove his entire shaft down your throat. Though Changbin doesn't necessarily have much length, it's his thickness you struggle with. It feels like the corners of your mouth might tear with how much you open up for him.

It looks as though Changbin has hearts in his eyes, jaw slightly open as he moans at the sight of you engulfing him "So pretty. My baby's so pretty. Love you. I love my pretty baby, oh fuck..." he mindlessly babbles. 

If you could, you'd coo at his incoherent words. You show your gratitude by pulling the dildo a few inches out before ramming it back in. Changbin yelps at the sudden movement, but his hips quickly rock with your thrusting. 

You manage to set a doable pace for yourself. Sucking him in until his curly pubes touch your nose while you fuck the toy shallowly in him. Soft gags and muffled moans elapse your mouth as you try to swallow your omega whole, but Changbin seems to find pleasure in it nonetheless. 

His stubby cock twitches in your mouth and his chest heaves as his orgasm approaches. 

Quickly, you replace your mouth with your hand, stroking him in quick jerks while you have better agility to thrust the toy inside him. You swear you could see the tip of the cock poke from underneath the belly of his skin, touching the deepest parts of him you have yet to explore yourself.

Little gasps and cries leave his pretty lips, and this time, you do have the opportunity to coo at Changbin. "Look at you. So good for me. Gonna cum all over yourself again?" 

Changbin tries to nod, but it looks like his head just flops around. You find his attempt endearing. "It's okay, Binnie. You can cum as much as you want. I know you need it."

"Need it," he agrees, eyes screwed shut. "Need it so bad." You watch as his eyebrows come together. His dildo tears from your grip as his hips entirely buck off the bed when he cums, hot spurts of release reaching all the way up to his plump chest. Changbin lets out a series of choked moans, and though you're not getting any action yourself, you moan with him. 

His legs tremble as he keeps himself lifted, the final bursts of cum dribbling down his shaft before he finally collapses. His pants fill the room and you gently remove the silicone from him.

You pull it slowly to not hurt him, but you enjoy how Changbin shivers and groans when the last inches of the cock slip out of him. You raise the soaked toy in front of you, intrigued by the white cream that settles at the base. 

Yeah, he's an omega all right.

Changbin's labored breathing slowly returns to normal and his tired arms lift to make grabby-hands at you. You try not to smile at his adorable gesture, "You know you're gonna hear it from me in the morning, right?" But you snuggle beside him anyway, bringing your face into the crook of his neck where his pheromones make your head spin. 

"Binnie's sorry," he murmurs, wrapping one of his nude legs over your waist to bring you closer. 

"Mhm. Binnie's gonna be sorry all right."

You decide he'll make up for your neglected cunt all morning tomorrow...or maybe all day.

a/n: omg I have no idea how this will preform but I had so many different ideas in mind, but I decided to go with this one. I was originally gonna do an orgy with omega reader and omega Changbin and the rest of the boys alphas ahaha but damn, i couldn't muster the energy. enjoy this tho! thank you :)

[rosemarie333]

Astro Observations/Opinions (Tropical Edition🫶🏾🫶🏾)

Hello Guys! Since I have done a vedic edition observations, I now want to do a tropical astrology one. I apologize if I confused anyone with my vedic one, i’m not too well versed in it buttt I AM WELL VERSED IN tropical astrology though hehe😈

These are my opinions/observations so LOVE IT OR HATE IT😋😗

Anyways let’s get started

1. Scorpio moons at their worst are FUCKING CRAZY. like extremely obsessive, extremely closed and narcissistic and just overall painful to be around. y’all can lowkey suck the life out of everyone lol likeeeeeee no joke. I have met many scorpio moons that are hella abusive but I know that’s not the majority. Other wise y’all are great to be around but baby as a Leo moon I CANT KEEP dealing with moon square moon synastry 🥺

2. Sag moons are sooo fickle and flighty like it’s not even funny. THEY WILL TELL A PERSON OFFFF but sometimes they be fake as hell. Very adventurous and THRILL SEEKING and they honestly put themselves into situations that are harmful just for the thrill of it. Very wise but sometimes their wisdom goes RIGHT out the window when it comes down to it.

3. Aries suns and venus placements can be veryyyy selfish imo. Like they are super independent but bc they are they really care less to think about others when achieving certain things. But are very understanding when you come to them and are very willing to listen. It’s kinda like they want what they want and they will do anything to achieve it despite the cost, and like GIRLIE POP GO OFF but at the same time u gotta be considerate of others. But EXTREMELY LOYALLL to their loved ones absolutely!! I love y’all and love y’all FIESTY energy.

4. I’m sorry but debilitated and fall mars (libra and cancer mars) have wayyy worse anger issues than ur normal scorpio/aries mars. Like they hold shit in and they are very passive so they won’t tell u did something wrong but they will be snarky and passive aggressive as hell to let you know and like BABESSA U CAN TELL ME NO NEED TO BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASFFF. Maybe it’s bc i’m a libra rising and mars in the 1st and 10th are just hella aggressive for no reason sometimes. My ex would randomly yell at people for the wrong reasons (he was a libra mars) and tbh i kinda don’t care for it like. (btw i’m a pisces mars so HEHEHE i can be passive aggressive as well so i def need to learn how to have boundaries but as people can’t handle scorpio or aries anger, i can NEVER deal with a libra or cancer bc imo they blow shit out of proportion all the fucking time) understandable as to why but idk that’s just my experience

5. Saturn in the 3rd house when they are upset with you they can be so demeaning at times. like when you don’t know something they are the types to be so unconsciously demeaning and kind of rude at times. ( like for instance if you were to ask them a question about a topic that they know they willl look at u and respond to u like ur dumb asf like 🥺🥺🥺🥺) they are very smart tho and they sometimes feel like they aren’t but like U ARE BABY DONT LISTEN TO THE OTHERS THAT hate on ur intelligence like y’all are very smart but can also be passive aggressive at times 💀

6. Scorpio Venus or having Pluto in the 7th house YALL ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CLINGY!! I love it tho for others that love it but y’all are veryyyyyyyyyy possessive (like if someone looks at y’all’s partner y’all prob imagining ripping their throat out like LMAO i understand tho). very loyal to their partner and can sometimes unhealthy dedicate all of themselves to them and nglll me don’t care for that but i understand bc y’all become so consumed with them bc of how intense y’all love and I LOVE IT but baby also have a life of ur ownnn lol (most of y’all do but sometimes y’all don’t) but y’all lowkey hypocritical tho sometimes imo

7. Sage and pisces literally are the ONLY ONES (other than scorpio maybe) imo that can do high dosages of drugs and wake up and be okay like ????? IM SO JEALOUSS bc i have virgo in my 12th and when i get high i get really paranoid and anxioussss so but with y’all having either in the 12th or even calm signs like taurus and fire placements imo y’all are built different like LMAO i loveee that for y’all tho

8. Capricorn moons aren’t cold at all lol they are very much crybabies like cancer moons, if a cap moon isn’t being emotional towards u then maybe they don’t feel safe enough yet or maybe they don’t consider you close enough to them (no shade). They are like scorpio moons tho imo when they at their lowest they can be hard to be around but YALL ARE SO MATURE AND i hate that for y’all like be reckless i know saturn may get u karma but sometimes y’all LIMIT yourselves so fucking much like baby you deserve the world. Look at the world in a scarcity mindset (unless it’s money or if they have fire placements ehh they not so scare thinkers)

9. Virgo placements are extremely shamy imo. Like they are very critical at times and they will SHAME u if ur doing something that isn’t “common sense” in their eyes. like baby i know u didn’t have the space to make mistakes without critical advice but at the same time do u really have to be shamey towards everyone else? but tbh they are the true leo’s in disguise and ABSOLUTELY give them their flowers bc acts of service means so much to them and the most mainstream people have virgo placements (attention to detail is so critical which is why they thrive and succeed) but y’all kinda use that as a scapegoat to be very shamey and critical towards others. I have a love and hate relationship with y’all lol 12th synastry 😭😩

10. IN REGARDS TO 12th house synastry, it’s so ass. Like THE PERSON U SHARE IT WITH WILL COME IN UR DREAMS AND BE ON UR MIND FOR NO FUCKING reason and for someone who takes a little while to move on from things (fixed dominant LOL but i’ve gotten a lot better) BABY I DONT NEED YALL TO BE IN MY DREAMS. lowkey i feel like 12th house synastry people lowkey get under ur skin for no reason and if that’s so imo it’s either because they are acting or responding in ways you do as well and is afraid to admit bc y’all mirror each other or it can genuinely be resurfacing things that remind u of things and trigger u (i feel like that’s the 8th house synastry ofc bc 12th house is hidden fears and repression so i’m kinda assuming it would be the same with the 12th lol hmu if you have other opinions😋😋😋🫶🏾)

last one hehehe

11. Libra placements please stop being people pleasers BABY ONCE U CREATE BOUNDARIES FUCKKKKK how others feel bitch bc when u don’t tbh y’all get super resentful and tbh who wouldn’t. libra placements really are only nice to keep the peace and to be likable but either or libra y’all will have haters regardless so instead of fearing it y’all should embrace it more. Remember the saying that if u don’t have haters u ain’t living in ur truth (ITS A 50/50 STATEMENT TBH it’s true but not being used in the sense of being problematic) but y’all can’t please everyone so instead of giving yourselves the headache, let go of the notion that if your liked everything will be okay when it’s not. and wanting to be liked and keep the peace isn’t a serving attitude it’s kinda selfish bc we’re really doing it for ourselves more than others (IM SHADING MYSELF HERE but i know y’all can agree but that doesn’t make us bad people we’re just flawed asf). BUT BABY GROW A BACKBONE ONCE YALL DO OMFAGSGSGSGSGSGS y’all are so fucking unstoppable and serve cunt energy hehehe

That’s it for tropical! Hope y’all like it!

[zooone]

FREE ... (I GUESS) ... ?!

aka. reluctant trick-or-treating with toji fushiguro.

words ?! - 553

content ?! - no warnings!

an ?! - i really hate this but i feel bad for not doing day 4... im sorry guys ... im sooo tired ,. also his wife could be you or mamaguro, up to u ..

#znfspooktober mlist

"this is dumb.”

“toji!”

“i dont get it.”

“its free candy."

“... okay fine.”

famous last words. to toji, at least.

he was never one for holidays. during christmas, he would sit just sit there and enjoy the food that was provided. if one were lucky, he would be wearing a santa hat. maybe.

but now that his kids were old enough to actually trick-or-treat without crying and bailing out after two houses, he very reluctantly decided to come with. it was definitely not because his wife very politely asked him to and of course, he could never say no to her. totally.

he stood there, carrying all the coats and bags that no one else wanted to carry. the most he did costume-wise was let his wife draw faux scars and stitches and he pretended he was a zombie. megumi insisted on being a dog, and tsumiki a cat.

“can we go to this house next?” tsumiki asked, tugging on toji’s sweatpant leg.

“‘course we can. cmon megs.” he guided both of his kids to the house, snorting at the decorations. weird pumpkins and skeletons and witches, it made him roll his eyes.

little did he know that his wife was behind them, holding up her phone and recording the way that he gently rested his big hand against his kids’ backs. it was a domestic action that somehow came naturally to him.

“honey?” he turned around, one eyebrow lifted in a sort of confusion when his eyes locked with the camera. “what do you think you're doing.”

“nothing!” she giggled, placing the phone behind her back and batting her eyelashes in a fake innocence. toji glared.

“come. here.”

and she jogged up right next to megumi, who was already prepared in holding up his little bucket to receive his candy. he had barely spoken the entire night, but his lips were slightly curled upwards and he hadn’t complained much. tsumiki on the other hand was a chatterbox, telling stories that they already heard, but no one stopped her from telling them.

“you’re so cute, honey,” she giggled towards her husband, reaching up to pinch his cheek right up against a drawn-on stitch. she spoke in a mocking tone that made his eyebrows furrow.

“you’re overdoing it.” he groaned, but he held back a grin. he loved how enthusiastic she was. and if that came at the cost of his dignity, it was a price he was willing to pay. “this house better have some good candy.”

“my friends told me it doesn’t..” tsumiki chimed in, nodding her head matter-of-factly. her ponytail bobbed as she did so.

“what? then why the heck are we here?” his face curled up in a scowl as he tapped his foot on the house’s porch.

“i wanted to see the pumpkins..” she pouted, mastering the wide eyed look that made it impossible for toji to ever say no. not that he would to begin with.

toji turned around to see what tsumiki was talking about, and he scrunched the space on his nose. “the pumpkins are ugly.”

megumi didn’t have to speak, he just lifted his hand and pointed. and everyone saw the house owner in the doorway, crossing his arms and expecting a sort of apology or acknowledgment. but all he got was a,

“what. its true.”

10.25.24

SPOOKTOBER MLIST!

regular mlist

[peineperdu]

i didnt know there was a tag limit on here...

cant watch arcane season two act two yet. horrible

[did-sm1-say-catfish]

S1 EP17 

this is my thoughts on danny phantom!! starting from "Maternal Instinct" or s1 ep17.

-----

he can actually dodge!! wow!!! maybe use those training course skills in battle, buddy. 

-----

oh my god why does my new halloween decoration thing look just like those ghost props. oh shit i have to turn that off. brb

-----

“nobody makes a meat puppet out of jack fenton!!!” …maybe the people who are into himbos?

-----

jack, looking at a ghost: “hey pal, you need some sun.”

the ghost was in fact, green. 

-----

TWO HEADED DANNY?? god knows the world simultaneously does and does NOT need more of him. 

CYCLOPS DANNY?? thats not enough danny!!!

-----

Maddie: we’re going to florida!!! isnt that fun???

danny, annoyed

me, who has visited florida numerous times: i feel ya, buddy. i feel ya. 

-----

bro just puts on a pouty face after having been parachuted into the middle of nowhere bc of a ghost plane. yeah, A POUT. 

-----

VLAD??? helloooo theree ;)

-----

“what a well planned coincidence…”

“erm- akshually!! thats an oxymoron ya dumbass.”

-----

WHAT???? ELECTRICITY? poor baby!! you need TLC (tender love and care) <3

-----

“this subdues your powers for the next three hours. until midnight! im telling you this because ive seen your grades and you are trash at math. really danny, go study you dumb fuck”

-----

SHE HAS A LIGHTSABER???? maddie you know onlythe bad guys have a doubnle ended one. but its not red sooo (i havent watched star wars in many years. I have also only watched a total of two films. i say two because i saw the entirety of one and half of two others. haha)

-----

AWWWSSDBJkhjjhbdjcnjbkshsjnk danny hugging his mom!! AWJEJDJNWWJBk. that was such a cute moment!! 

Maddie, after fighting off the ghosts attacking danny: “youre in big trouble, young man!!”

danny, hugging her: “you. are! awesome!!!”

maddie: everyone stay calm, my son is hugging me. 

-----

maddie: we should stay with vlad, ist too dangerous out here!

danny: Mooooommmmm hes my arch enemyyyy!!!

-----

“at midnight i get my powers back, at 12:01 the belt zaps me, and at 12:02 vlad tries to make out with my mom. those are gonna be the worst two minutes of my life”

-----

IS SHE ABOUT TO CHEAT?? ok thank god not.

-----

bro is fake condoning vlad being with his mom. god. i hate this. but seriously, i dont think that family is functional. 

-----

vlad is struggling to get the belt off but… danny didnt even lock it. he’s just that bad at high tech belts. HA

-----

maddie, coming into the room: Wheres vlad?

danny, nervously: he ran out for a bite 

yeah, to get a bite taken out of him

-----

“We’re not gonna mention any of this to your dad, right?”

guys i hate her. i hate her. why would she do this to danny. she almost cheats on his dad in front of him, with a man that is known to hate jack, and then she buys danny food and tries to get him to keep it a secret. she’s a terrible mom. i hate her. does she have any idea how hard that is for danny? theyre already a dysfunctional family, but then she goes and puts extra pressure on him? do you have any idea what that does to a kid. a kid with whacko parents and crazy ass powers and who gets bullied at school and ON TOP OF THAT!!! HE HAS TO DEAL WITH HIS MOM BEING UNFAITHFUL. i dont care that she never ACTUALLY cheated, im saying shes a fucking dick and i hate her. 

AND THEN DANNYS FEELS GUILTY FOR NOT LOVING HER ENOUGH. NEWS FLASH, YOURE NOT A GOOD MOM IF YOUR KIDS FEEL GUILTY AROUND YOU. 

and jack isnt a saint but at least he didnt put that FUCKING PRESSURE ON JAZZ. maddie you are a piece of shit i hate you. 

-----

OK!! end of the episode!! give me your suggestions for like, how i should format this or- yeah idk. im going to go start on the next episode!!! :D

edit: *ahem* i have since been informed that she was playing him... i will store half of this hatred in my back pocket for later. I'm watching you, wazowski Maddie....

[vinnystarxx]

NEGLECTFUL DESIRES : EPISODE 05

about 4 months ago; February 25

Neglect. Neglected. Neglectful.

Containment: fighting(?), minor cussing, cheating

prev | masterlist | next

You watched as your boyfriend drove himself into stress and madness, his hair disheveled, heavy eye bags, but a bright smile towards his fans. But at home is a different story.

“Ajax, please rest, you’re tired.” You stood behind him at his desk. He slouches over his desk, looking over contracts, partnerships, and shoots, you frowned on his your boyfriend belittled his health. “Ajax.” you called out his name and started walking closer to him. “Love, please answer me.”You placed the tray of dinner you made, coffee, and cold water on the end of his desk.

You stood behind him, watching him read some paperworks. You get tired of calling his name just for him to neglect you once more. You tugged slightly on his loose white shirt that was slipping down his back.

He flinched and snapped around towards you; making you jump back, “love? Are you okay?” He didn’t say anything but just stare at you. “Lumine?” He stood up, hovering over you. Now you’re confused. Who’s lumine? Is it that blonde girl who works with celestia? The singer, lumine? Or someone else with the same name?

“Baby I miss you so much” he hugged you, squeezing “lumine” “Ajax.” He hummed in response. “Are you okay?” He nodded into your neck. “I think you’ve gone delusional.” You spoke in s Stern tone. He stood up, staring at you in your eyes. Have the sleep gotten to him this badly? He’s staring directly into my eyes and can’t see I’m not his side chick?

“Wow. You really are fucking dumb..” he looks at you confused, “after everything I did to keep you stable and happy, somehow that isn’t enough and you has to go look for a side chick.” You walked towards the door, “lumine? I’d this about y/n? I thought you hated her.”

He watched as “lumine” walked towards the door of his office. Wait when did she get into the house? Does y/n knows she’s here? Is y/n asleep? Where’s she?

His thought were stopped when someone flipped on the lights. He shut his eyes and blinked for a short while until his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the once dark room. He stares at the female figure.

“Y/N…” he stares in complete horror. Was she here the whole time? Did he call her lumine? Was he hallucinating? Sleep really did hit him like a bitch.

“We should break up.” He heard lumine. “Huh? What? Lumine.” He looked up, he hears lumine but sees y/n. “You should really rest if still sense lumine here.” You gave me a fake smile, “go rest, dear.” He said lumine’s voice fall from your lips.

“Ok then.” Sleep really did hit him.

“Y/N?” He woke up to the cold side of the bed, half of the stuff in the room was gone. Y/N’s stuff to be exact. He pulled out his phone and tried calling her to no avail.

taglist | —

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If your tag is italic & orange; means your tags for everyone isn’t on. Go check your settings !

Typed this all with my cellular mobile device (on Google docs tho)

It’s off hiatus now !

I was going to post the new story but I’m not even halfway done with this so I said no🫶🏽

[pamithebunterfly2007]

I’m back from my break and also. . . Here’s An Apology to my followers and friends.

Before you all get upset with me, I’m just back from my break, and NO, I’m not leaving Tumblr and by telling you why I’m apologizing, it’s because. . . . . . I just wanted to stay at tumblr than going back to that hellsite Deviantart. . . . . . I know DA has like almost 99% contreverisial stuff like AI, Making DA User go on Eclipes, and furthermore, DA is own by Wix, A company from Israel which I HIGHLY don’t Support . And forgot to mention of how awful I treated my friends, followers, and random people on both DA and Tumblr. I just want to improve on myself, but I acted immature and I

@nicky-toony, I just want to say that I’m am sorry, I just wanted to stay at tumblr, Because if I got back to that hellsite, I’ll be even more stressed, and unhappy, so I’m better off at tumblr than that awful DA. . . . . Like you know, and the way we act so immature to others, the others don’t please us, so Nicky, if your reading this, I’m sorry for being a bad friend to you, I understand why I was so controlling over you the whole time, we are the ones acting like immature teens on the internet.

and to everyone from here and DA. . . . . . . I so sorry for being such a huge jerk and how I acted in front to everyone, I was so dumb and immature I could’ve just listen wisely to everyone around me, but instead Im always so angry and selfish to others and how I treated them. and BerryBoyHub was right about me, I have lied and manipulated all of you just because it’s doesn’t mean I’m a attention seeker, I just wanted not to be alone again, so I have to just make “friends” with random strangers who don’t give a damn about me. I’ve always been alone, I somehow don’t talk a lot IRL, My mom always says to me to find friends exactly like my age, I found some on the internet, like all of you, who are teens like me or young adults but the thing is that I wish I can improve my actions and I should think before I acted to all of you, I wanted to act like a mature teenager with autism but instead, I was acting like a immature teenage bratty 17 years old who makes really wrong choices. . . . . . . Like an infamous example of faking death, lashing out on others, and being selfish and a liar according to everyone. . . . . . Me and my friends also act like immature and ignorant losers and many user out there on Tumblr hated on how we don’t act like proper teenagers and young adults. I wish I can improve on my behavior more and become better at dealing with myself and my own problems both IRL and the internet . . . . . . . I just wanted to make people happy for me . . . . . . . . . . . . . And I know everyone is still upset with me for what I did. . . . . . I’m sorry for acting like a problematic and immature child. . . . . . I want to stay at tumblr, to enjoy, to make friends, to continue on making fun arts, improve more on being a better person, and make people happy for me. . . . . . I hope you understand.

@nicky-toony

@artgygrl

@smurfylegofan2005

@sakiohappynoi

@ghosthyena74

@emo-gals-4life

@someonefromyt

@adam-frankenweenie

@art1c-m0nk3ys

@notsoyt

@sunaclone

@suna-star

@wonderkat11

@mteavee2004

@chrisloch6-blog

@itsmetord

@rhyliethecaterfly

@lizzietherwbychibifan

@halliedrawz

@halliedoesstuff

@frostythriller07

@zizzythehedgehogq

@programlara

@pedrohenrique1236

@endomentendo

@megamanzero5098

@softpawsxd

[deadpool15]

Ch.2 To be loved

Seeing him was the highlight of my day. I remembered when I was nothing but an orphan, though I can't remember my biological parents. I sometimes like to think they died. It was the best way for me when I was just a kid. To accept the fact that even the ones who gave you life viewed as nothing but a mistake was difficult. My mother viewed her destiny as saving her country, getting rid of the drugs that were taking lives. In my opinion, people died all the time. Life was hard. We have no idea what someone is going through until they are pushed to the end. She would never understand that struggle. That pain. When I heard it was si-o behind all this, I had to know why. People have reasons, I had to be the one to see the good in him. Even if no one else could. I was falling in love, love makes you do dumb things.

Whether I was dumb or hopeless, I wanted to know him. Not the version he showed to the public, the fake smiles meant nothing to me. I wanted to see him truly smile, to be happy. I happened to be at one of my mothers many chain restaurants. And to my luck sitting there was the man I had hoped for, now I hadn't prepared myself to speak to him and I realized that when he had made eye contact with me. Stern, serious glare like he knew I was watching him. Talking to people wasn't necessarily the issue. I talked my way out of parking tickets, jail, and even school punishments as a child. I was a smooth talker, one thing I developed from my mom. Though he made me nervous, my hands were sweating, and I had the urge to convert into oxygen. I wanted to cry because as much as I hated to admit it, his opinion of me meant a lot. One accidental interaction, and I was hooked. He knew me as Tseg tseg rich spoiled friend. I wanted him to see me. It already pissed me off that he had eyes for my sister. She took everything from me without even fucking trying. I had to man up and fight for what I wanted.

"Hello sir, you probably don't know me, but my name is Danny. We kinda met before when I bumped into you at your company." He smiled though I could tell it was fake, after years of faking happiness myself. I knew a fake smile from a mile away. "Right, your Tseg's little friend, correct?" Irritation couldn't even be used as the word for what I felt in that moment, I wanted him to see me. "Technically, that's how we met, though I just wanted to say something t-to you. Please." I stood up drawing attention to myself truly not what I needed right now, but I had to tell him before anything else happened. My anxiety was through the roof, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die right then and there standing under his intimidating stare. I had to do this, though. He was the first person I felt genuine feelings for, and I didn't even know him personally. The effect he had on me was outrageous.

"I wanted to go out with you. I want to get to know you, and I know I'm not korean, and your parents may have an issue with that, but I mean Nationality vise I am. Everyone thinks I'm just this spoiled rich assshole, but i im not, and i want to show you that there is more to me than my money or parents' money. I have korean parents, so that counts, I'm well accounted for, and I have seen you before, and you're all I think about no matter what. I try to get my mind off of you, and my brain proceeds to show different connections to you. And if you p-plan to reject me, just sit here and silence, and I won't ever bother you again. Well, I hope so, I can try." He was astonished but my speech. Everyone had turned their attention towards us and started clapping. I hadn't even noticed at first. I couldn't handle rejection, especially not by him. I wanted to be with him, breathe in his scent, and help him with anything. Live a life with him. Silence was what I got, and I took the message. I had embarrassed him and myself.

Suddenly, walking out, trying to hold back tears, I was 5 years old me again. I'm sitting at my dance recital waiting for my mommy. She promised she would come today since I told her how much this meant to me. Sitting there for the next 4 hours in nothing but silence was the worst feeling a child could feel. The competition was over, I didn't even dance, missing a chance to get picked for a major academy. I saw dad pull up. Why did she hate me so much. "Honey, you didn't tell me you had a competition today, and I found the scouts there as well. I would've shown up, baby." I stared at him. I was a daddy's girl simply because my mother broke my heart before I could ever feel love from her. "I didn't tell you because I told Mommy. I wanted her to come watch me this time. To surprise her with my skills." Just glancing at him, I knew that look, the look of a father who was afraid to break their already broken child. I snapped out of it when I felt someone shaking my shoulders. Looking up, it was him. "I've been calling you for 20 minutes. You almost got hit by that truck. Are you even paying attention?" I stared at him, I didn't know what to say, would he care enough to hear. "You ran out before I could say anything. Scared? You're very pretty. And bold. I've never had someone confess their love for me in a public area at that. I admire that, while I don't really know you, I would like to get to know you. Experience something."

I was so happy at that moment that I completely ignored the world around me. I jumped onto him. He was startled at first but caught me with ease. I leaned back and cupped his face, pecking his cheek, and for that first time, I saw a genuine smile. A real surprise for me, I enjoyed it. "You look beautiful when you smile, like a hidden jem only made for the luckiest humans to gaze at." He stared at me, blushing. From that moment, we slowly got to know each other, getting closer day and night. Developing an unbreakable bond. I didn't care he was a so-called criminal. When I was with him, none of that mattered. I never asked about his business, letting him know if he wanted to tell me he could. I kept this from my family, I knew they would never approve of what we had, especially my mother. She didn't give a shit about me, but in a situation like this, she saw him as an enemy.

We sat at a Korean BBQ shop. It was simply nice to spend time at a place with no worries. "I could've taken you someone nicer, you know." I placed some meat on the grill what grabbing a piece and putting it in front of his mouth. He smiled and opened his mouth to eat it. "Is it good? And you know I don't care about expensive restaurants. I've been to enough in my lifetime. I just want to be with you. To be honest, you could've gotten fried chicken and took to me the beach to eat. It's the thought that counts, babe." He smiled at me, I smiled back until I realized the petname I gave him immediately going to apologize. "It's fine, I actually like it. Babe." Blushing, I gave him more meat. We talked about our days, he was stressed and I wanted to help. Thought he said I shouldn't stress myself. We finished eating and literally had a full-on battle over who would pay the bill. I won, "Maybe I'll let you pay next time." He laughed, grabbing my hand and walking out of the shop. While pda was no foreign concept to me, it still made me feel like it was the first interaction between us each time it happened. "Come home with me, please." I stared at him in shock. He had never asked me this. I had no experience in relationships, but usually, that leads to other things. I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I trusted him.

We showed up to his home. He told me to wash up for the night. I happily got in the shower to think I was happy. A foreign feeling. My shower lasted well over 30 minutes, I looked down and saw a towel and a button-up shirt. Luckily, I always kept a spare thong with me. Putting on the clothes, I walked out of the bathroom to find him already washed up and laying in bed. A blue robe and pajama pants on while he was on the phone. I walked out of the room to got place my clothes in the hamper, then grabbed a glass of water. I was drinking it while examining the home I had never been inside. Eventually, I walked back towards the room where he was done with his phone call. And looked up with a dropped jaw. I smiled at his antics. "You're still so pretty. With and without the makeup. Come here." Walking slowly towards his bed, he gestured for me to move closer. I crawled to him, and apparently, it wasn't close enough because he picked me up and placed me on his lap while holding my hips. I felt nervous. He noticed squeezing my hips with his larm hands.

I grabbed one of his hands, placing them in mine. Comparing the size and then kissing his palms, I looked up at him to see a bright smile. "I'm not tired yet." I told him it usually took me a while to go to sleep. I was just always up. He nodded and pulled me closer in a hug. Affection from si-o was always the best. I could tell he wasn't the most affectionate person, so I didn't push him. Though I craved his touch, I craved everything about him. Looking out the window, I saw the stars. "This reminds me of when my mom took me and my siblings camping once. It was weird, though it was fun." I continued to look at the stars until he spoke up. "You don't talk about your mother much. Actually, you don't talk about her at all. For a second, I thought she had passed." I was shocked by the thought of my mothers absence. Sure, I never spoke about her because there weren't any good memories, to be honest. "It's fine if you don't want to speak about it." I looked at his face full of concern he was so patient with me, but I wanted him to know and trust me like I did him. "It's ok, it's just.....there isn't much to talk about, you know. She was there but not there. She was always focused on my older sister. She was the amazing daughter who could do no wrong. And I was simply the girl that lived in her house, or that's what it felt like. Sometimes, it felt like I didn't have a mom to begin with. To think I used to pray to have a mother that would be there for me. Then my sister went missing, and as much as I hate to say it, I was happy, for once I though she would pay attention to me, realizing she had two daughters but it only got worse. I was just there, and I hated myself for the fact that I was happy my sister was gone. I've always been jealous of her she is better in every way. That's so evil of me, but I was so fucking lonely. She is such a good person, and makes friends so easily and everyone likes her but me they look down on me. I'm nothing more then a spoiled bitch using her parents credit card to fill the void."

Before I noticed, I was full on sobbing in front of him. I broke down, secrets I've never told anyone in my life. I was afraid of what the world would think of me. He grabbed my shaking hands, kissing them slowly, whining, moving up to wipe my tears. "Your feelings are normal baby, you went your entire life playing second place because your mother is a terrible mother, no offense. A bit of a bitch you know. No secret there since she is Hwang Geum Joo." Hearing that part made me laugh. Until I sat there shocked he knew of my parent. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." It was all I could say at the moment. He looked at me and pressed against my cheeks, letting me know it was ok. And he underdtood the urge to protect her even if she wanst good to me. Or cared for me, it seems."You are so amazing and kind and beautiful. She isn't better than you at all. I wish you could see the way I see you. You have lightened up my world as a whole. I was nothing but a cold, damaged asshole when I met you, then I realized no matter how my life pushes and kicks your ass its your choice to get back up. To keep going, you taught me that baby. All the drug business and shady stuff I do, you don't judge me at all. Sitting by my side supporting me no matter what I choose to do. When I was an orphan and Pavel took me in, trained me to become the person I am today, hit after hit. Missed meal after another, I prayed for a better life. You have provided that life." Hearing those words, my heart was swelled. I felt nothing but love for the first time someone chose me, loves me. I wasn't an option. I was a need. "I'm so glad you chose me or tseg." Hearing that, he laughing pulling me closer if that was possible. "I never liked tseg baby, she is a worker at my company that'd all. If anything, I had my eyes on you since you walked into the building." Similing in pure joy, I leaped forward, causing a groan to come of his mouth. Scared I hurt him, I tried to get up until he forced my hips back down. It was then I realized I hadn't hurt him. In fact, the moment u felt something hard poking me thigh, I blushed.

"How in the world did you get hard, sir?" He simply smiled at my words, moving me forward to the point where I was sitting directly on top of his hard on. My core pushed further into it slowly until he began grinding me against him. I couldn't help but moan. It all felt too good. "Have you seen my beautiful girlfriend sitting right on top of me in nothing but my shirt? If anything, it was difficult not to." Moans slipped from my mouth before I could let out a sarcastic response. Finally, I said the words I had been so afraid to ever tell anyone. "I love y-you." Hearing this, he sped up my hips against his, leaning in to capture my lips into a kiss. "I love you more, baby." We continued until we were left naked and bare before each other, and all the insecurities, abandonment issues, and pain left my mind. Leaving nothing but si-o. The night was a night to remember.

Stay tuned for chapter 3.

[infiniteetcetera]

Can we implement a requirement that if you’re going to start theorizing about ACOTAR future plots and characters you HAVE to have read ACOFAS because some of the wild theories I’ve been seeing lately make it so obvious people haven’t 😭

Like apparently Rhys is completely evil and constantly controlling the minds of his mate (but actually it’s a fake mating bond that he made up) and everyone else around him EVEN THOUGH we have his 1st person POV (the only one we get for ANY of SJM’s characters besides Feyre) and in his mind he spends most of his time hating himself and thinking he deserves nothing that he has but yeah I guess Rhys is just so good at being an evil mastermind that he’s even mind controlling himself into believing this stuff…

And don’t get me started on some of the Mor theories about her faking everything regarding Eris and secretly being evil and plotting the IC demise like…WE HAVE HER POV, we know what happened with her and Eris not because she tells people but because we literally have the flashbacks and we know despite her flaws Mor does care about her family and is not going to the continent to evilly conspire with anyone but because she wants to help her court

Like I get that these two characters and many others are complex and deserve many valid criticisms and nuance but the takes Im seeing keep getting worse more ridiculous and outright gross honestly when we have people accusing Rhys and Mor of faking their own assaults when again this stuff is literally canon. I fear some people heard the term ‘unreliable narrator’ and decided to run ramped without giving it any real thought (bc also apparently Feyre is dumb as a doorknob and has never relayed anything right to us readers bc she’s just that biased by Rhys and has no thoughts of her own)

Again, not saying you can’t critique these characters, you can and should, but there truly should be a line when it comes to some of this stuff in terms of basic morality and logic. If you have to believe entire sections of a story are outright lies for something to be true you’re probably headed down the wrong path…

[esposadejoyhuerta]

This acc is becoming an mcu twitter for me but I fucking HATE secretary Ross so fucking much and vision is a dumbass.

Correlation does not mean causation that’s the first thing they teach u in ANY lower division fucking undergrad research class. So wtf was that toaster going on ab with the rise in superheroes and rise in threats like. CorrELATION DUMBASS. You’d have to do years of empirical research to determine causation. Also has any of them heard of critical refugee and border studies???? Reading a SINGLE article from that field would give u the fucking answer. Like come ON. The Sokovia accords shouldn’t even be a fucking debate—it’s a stupid ass idea and the only person I understand besides those who refused to sign is nat’s position of disagreeing but wanting to regain public trust and keep one hand on the wheel. Everyone who wholeheartedly trusted in the accords is fucking wrong. Also I blame Ross for nat’s death. Bc he’s the whole fucking reason thanos won. The scarlet witch should’ve just killed him “so ur saying they’ll come for me” Wanda says but it’s fine baby just kill them it’s ok god I’m so pissed and this is all fake. Also wtf is up w rhodey being like “omg this is the UN” like. No one in any REAL social justice field likes the UN. No one likes human rights studies. Like. They’ve been wrong ab most things and everyone is critical of them FOR A REASON.

Cap’s all like “we failed” after infinity war NO it’s bc everyone scattered yall and u were a DISASSEMBLED team and were very disempowered. These gov officials, the UN, and all these ppl who liked the Sokovia accords, y’all deserve half your loved ones disappearing. You brought this upon your fucking selves now suck it up and deal w the consequences of ur own actions u whiny whores

Edit: oh I did not know there was a whole subsection of mcu fans who r actively anti Sokovia accords and dive deep into what it entailed and how it’s wrong. It seems as tho some ppl in that subsection come from a legal background too which is so cool. Y’all r cool and I’d love to join in on convos w my theory background and comment on how theoretically the accords aren’t for the protection of the ppl and only aim to solidify existing racialized and sexualized nationalist tools such as consolidated military power and borders, which are inherently polysemic and overdetermined in nature (Balibar 2002) are are for those exact reasons that the accords r being drafted and that should honestly be enough to make the general public and world leaders question it in the first place. But anyways. Would love to elaborate one day if let into the fanclub😌

Another edit: im just mad and ranting to the void at this point but y’all who try to argue FOR the Sokovia accords in a legal matter. It straight up DOESNT. MATTER. Bc if u look for even a second at critical social theories, you’d understand that the accords literally cannot work for the people. So you’re arguing for something that strengthens the power of those already in power. Which is fine, but just admit that. Also on the lowest key that’s equivalent to arguing for white heteropatriatchal power. But like. Just admit that. Bc. Again. I repeat, the accords are not FOR THE PEOPLE. Now, we literally don’t know the full content of the accords so there’s only sm we can all say ab the details of it. But as an overall idea, that’s what it does. But if this was a real thing I’d be concerned abt yalls ability to critically think and also that y’all get a say in this country (yikes) ESPECIALLY to that one user I blocked saying that all they needed to see was that cap, a white man, is arrogant, wants to keep his white power, and therefore the accords must be signed, to keep white power in check, then Jesus fuck you’re dumb as hell. Like yes, I had that same initial thought too, but then I THOUGHT AB IT for longer than a SECOND and the same damn thing could be said ab Tony, that his white guilt is clouding his judgement and making him sign. Also non white ppl backed both sides. Like. Use the one brain cell u have for the love of god. Do u rlly think the mcu cares enough to make a racial statement here? And to all Sokovia acc supporters, don’t u think it ended w thanos winning FOR A REASON?! Also. To say “but we need regulation therefore we need the accords” is the same exact thing as saying “we need safety therefore we need cops and the military” like Jesus fuck there r other options. Be creative for a SINGLE SECOND. I hate this world and I hate that I have to share it w ppl who have such smooth brains y’all concern me a LOT

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Thank you for creating this account, you are so brave.

Prefacing: I used to tolerate TS and her music when I was a teen and couldn't really avoid it. Now I'm 25 and I find her abhorrent as a human being.

(I'm not American and where I am from TS was never a Big Hit, unless we're talking 14 year old girls that eventually grow out of liking her. It's not entirely for a good reason, my country's a bit too conservative-brainwashed to like a self-proclained "girl boss" on a gov. level.)

Something that I noticed about that cult-like worship of that frankly boring woman is that most of the interesting shit about her is 1. made up 2. not about her music and I DO NOT understand how this is even considered a singer anymore.

Like, for example. A bunch of liberal queers like her because they take her bland music and fill it with their own meanings. Her lyrics are so soulless and boring and generic you can apply them to anything. You don't have to go listen to staples of quuer music like what drag queens, or queer women, or Black gay men create: because their music is visceral, it speaks onto real lived through opression that not everyone can relate to. But not with fucking TS! She writes the most TYPICAL line and a bunch of people assign some secret gay meaning to it. The amount of times I saw TS added to playlists for queer content is ridiculous. Like she wouldn't be half as popular if her music was regarded as what it is: straight white girl soliloquy.

The shit about her love life? Should not be fucking mentioned in regards to her as an artist. She's SO fucking fake. She will complain that people only see her as some girl who dates all those guys but she's the one fucking monetizing her love story. I'd understand if she didnt TRY TO but she fucking does! She knows she's bland and boring and she relies on people liking gossip enough to listen to her crap.

ok quick note when you said “liberal queers” it should be “queer liberals”. im assuming english isnt your first language so your native tongue has different grammatical rules but in this instance you put “queer” in front of “liberal.” i just don’t want you to be accused of being homophobic or anything so this is a quick note for you

you said you were 25 and everyone who’s been following this blog has been 20+ demographic in particular. i think it must be because we’re old enough to remember her entire journey starting w the 2009 kanye west mtv incident up until this moment. her staunchest swifties on here were born after the fearless release 💀

hmmmm i always wonder what people imply by Taylor Swift being a global superstar. like she’s isn’t popular in the entire continent of Africa but that doesn’t count apparently? and as much as she is popular in south asia, so much news is framed with a western perspective and all westerners think whiteness is default, and this includes taylor swift. i wouldnt be surprised if theyre inflating her popularity abroad as they are here in the states. idk

and so true! she’s known for her controversies and dating drama. even her music is known not for its success but ppl questioning the legitimacy of her grammys she’s received for her music.

also your gaylor hate—i understand. im not straight and i think gaylors were lobotomized by taylor swift’s music like genuinely these bitches have bricks for brains. there are soooooooo many better queer musicians especially musicians of color who write songs of their literal shared experience of queer love, identity, etc. but here they go theorizing that taylor seift and karlie kloss secretly dated 😭 it reminds me of this convo i had with my friend about gay people admiring/looking up to straight and cis people and labelling them as “gay icons.” its so stupid and reductive and continues to marginalize actual queer artists.

also talking abt taylor swift playlists i will never forget when i found spotify’s bad bunny x taylor swift playlist inspired by their photo from the 2023 grammys 💀 it was so dumb

“straight white girl soliloquy” PERIOD ANON! i need to start making a list of what you guys say cause its fkn fire

taylor swift embedded her relationships so deeply into her brand and music that its inseparable from herself. she really does define herself by her partners and her fans do too, which is why they expected this to be a joe alwyn album.

she really is so unoriginal and unremarkable and that’s why her thing WORKS. because to swifties she’s like “another everyday girl like you and me :)” 🙄 whatever. yuck!

[sophieinwonderland]

hi o/ jus wana start by saying dis is jus semi incoherent rambling of a sleeby oupy who didnt get to eat 5 borgars for dinner.

i find the anti endo point of “just doing it for attention” so weird

for one its really disconected from real life, like, attention is a basic need fir our body, its why solutary confinment is such good tourture. its like saying “theyre just doing it to get food” :l dumb argument, evyone needs and withholding food because someones starving is an evil thing to do, an so is ignoring someone who’s in need of social interaction.

and two, its blatantly wrong. like, we’ve told 0 people irl about being a system, we’ve only told like, 3 online friends, and we never talk about system stuff with them still cuz we’re scared of loosing those friends for being too weird. we pretty much never post about it on our blog an besides the blog description no one wud probably ever know. the one time someone guessed we’re a system in a discord servr i had a full anxiety attack an avoided any interaction for 2 weeks even tho they were accepting, an then when we finaly went back to talking there i made sure we had any trace of system stuff wiped from the servr profile an deleted the messages that made them ask and only just showed that all again after 2 months of keeping everything hidden. we’re terrified of people we know knowing we’re a system or getting attention cuz of tgat.

tho we’re definitly on the extreme end for that (mostly me tbh… the social isolation and abandonment issues exo-memories and the body’s trauma from similar irl stuff deff made me super scared about this) but its a pretty similar experience for a lot of systems from wut ive seen where telling ppl is pretty much an act of compleat trust an usualy very anxiety inducing.

besides, if someone really wus just after attention, they could just post a incorrect fact online or a really dumb take. thats much easier an will get a lot more attention than faking being a system ever could. like, saying something like “reading is bourgeoisie” on a semi popular post will be a thousand times better at getting u attention than being a system ever could.

theres so much more i wana say about this, like the ableism inherent to that argument point, or the way its linked to child abuse, but phone keyboard is stupid and terrible and im too hungy to think well enough to write out those points properly an do them justice.

anyways, i hope u have a great day/night depending on when u read this.

Right! And if they're claiming people are wanting positive attention, I don't see that as being that hard either.

Like, if someone wants to talk to people on the internet about stuff, there are spaces out there for literally anything and anyone. You're not going to get more attention for being a system than you would for being outspoken in a fandom or a religion or any other social group you're a part of.

People who want attention... don't need to pretend to have people in their head to get it. And the attention you would get for that is often going to be negative because a lot of people are sanist and pluralphobic. But as you mention, it's not even the best way to get negative attention when there are so many actual troll-y things you can do.

You can find hundreds of communities online with people who will support you and give you attention for your takes on various topics! Or you can find hundreds more who will hate you if you push the right buttons!

There's just... no logical reason to fake being plural for attention.

And isn't this, again, the very same claims that have always been made against the LGBTQ community?

It's actually kind of funny how that happens, isn't it?

The people who are getting attention are generally the ones who most conform to society. It's not plural or trans people. It's the ones who do their best to fit in and be like everyone else in their group. Meanwhile, people who have identities that diverge from the norm are often left outcasts and shunned by peers.

And yet it's the latter group that's accused of attention seeking?

It makes no sense. 🤷‍♀️

[gayspock]

ehrm

you know thevery day self involved spiral rant etc etc here it comes. i odntknow. billionand one fucking messages of reinforcement that just dont help because none ever apply, all ever make me feel worse; most are usually insanely patronising as a result or just rub it in how littlethere is to live for cuz if therewas just one fucking thing mabye it wouldnt be like this. whatever and a bit.

i jsut feel so fucking emtpy. i dont fucking care about any of it. i dont know. at least somepeople have something they careabout. im alone. i dont know what to do. i dont have any interests. theres nothing ilike doing. theres nothing imgood at. even if idid try to survive what do ifucking spend my time doing. itjust all feels like a miserable fucking slog . nothings worth it. i feel fucking sick withmyslef all the time. i keep trying to find things. i just fucking tire myself out and get miserabel no matter the approach. i dont fucking know.

i think about dating apps andabout meeting new people. its likeidontknow how to talk about it any more. i feel so embarrassed. like itsnot just loneliness because im alone. but ialso know realisticlaly theres nothing for me to try and talkto people about . just basic questins like how do you spend your time. i dontfucking know. i just spend it trying to make it all fucking go away and i hate it. the onlyway i can fucking cope half the time is just trying to not think about it and thats the only fucking thing there is and idont rememberwhere any of the days have gone and ive spent so manyyears at this point in fucking limbo and i fucking resentevery second of it.

and theresalways fucking something. likesome corny fucker and im sorry for being mean but i cant fucking. ugh. like just let go~ just make ugly art~ just do things imPEErFeCtLy~andfeel it~ ^_^ ,. like dude i dont fucking feel anything ijsut fucking space out i cant connect with anyofit its like onehand in front of the fucking oteher i try to go out i reallyfucking do i try to dothings i fucking feel myself justmiserable there and just wanting to go homewhere no one can see me again ebcause ihate it and thatslike the fucking shameful thing its alwyas the like

yeah. yeah nobodylikes you because theres nothing to you. youre a fucking blank and emptyfucking husk of a person. why cant you just grow up and develop into something. i dontfucking know. i fucking hate all of it. im fucking miserable. im just fucking miserable and i thinkthats all i can be . and itsnot nice . its not nice. itsalways jsut sthut up stop being fucking miserable be better . likeyoudont think i treid that . i jsut burn out. i feel so fucking phony adn fake and sick iwth myself and i tfeel like everyone else can tell. i dontknow. i fuckinng wish i hadany fucking modicrum of fucking passion or lvoe or whatveer the fuck inmy body but i think im just a negative fucking space and its jsut draining and i hate living and its like i wish i coudl bepropeely like toxic or there as soemthing genuinely fucking rancid and its jsut fucking seepsinto everything and i cant conenct with anyhting and i jsut

you know like itsreally embarrassing and dumb actually like how areyou so uncultured howhave you not read this seen this watched this done thais hadthis whatveerhtis i force it down my throat somethingsomething try to bea fucking human for once i feel like im crying all the fucking time lets pretend i gaffff for some approvalthat never comesbecause i cant feel itmyself no matterhow hard i trryyyyy but what but what god i dontknow i fucking

its likestupid shit likeart. god i fucking hated drawing i fucking hated writing i fucking hated singing when iw as younger i fucking hated school i fucking hate sports i fucking hate spending time withpeople i fucking hate being alone i fucking hate eveyrthing every time ifucking do anything i just want to smash it up because i hate it i wish i fucking didnt i jsut fucking hate every fucking singel second of being fucking alive what is theretolive for why wouldyou want that why wuld you fucking bother and the only fucking solution peopleowuld ever suggest is. dont hate it. just dont. but thatshwat i do. i cantmake it stop i cant make it stop ifeel like im fucking running on fumes and fuckingjust forcing it so hard and everyones like HAHAHAHAAHAH JSUR FORCE IT! FORCE IT FO RUS! IT'LL HAPPEN EVENTUALLY!! YOU HAVENT DONE IT WNOUGH! YOU GAVENT FUCKING TRIED HARDENOUGH!!! and itdoesnt matteryoure alone and crying and fucking hateit even more in the end because its too fuckignhard to keep oding it and i cant i fucking cant care i cant fucking car eany more you do nothing but fucking zone out youexist in your own littlefucking world and try not to exist and nobodu would ever want that you dont want that is anyone crazzzzyyyyy i dont know why im alive i dont know why im alive so much i feel like itsjust never worth it its never been worht it imjsut desperate and uckign begging it for to notjust be this FUCKKK BROOOO LOL

[toodleloos]

“do I look different?”

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A question ive heard from almost everyone ive known. Including myself. They look in a mirror, dreading the way they look. The way they sound. The way they act.

But how could a kid possibly hate how they look?

“I’m too skinny. im too fat. I wish I was brunette. Or maybe blond. I wish I had curls like her, I wish my hair was straighter than a ruler.”

“If I throw myself on a field, waving my abs around. Am I macho? Or cool? Call a gay kid a slur? Maybe it’ll hide my obvious interest in men.”

Highschoolers are fake. The hallways? Filled with drama, and chaos. The moment I turned 13 I knew my life was over. I had to care about being cool, or liking this or liking that or liking her. Sometimes my head hurts because he’s so handsome, and she’s so gorgeous.

“Just don’t be gay. That’s weird.”

I’m weird.

Change your hair. Fix your attitude. Why do you dress like that? Your stupid. Your fat. No, you’re skinny. Oh fuck, now you’re fat and stupid!

But.

Have you eaten lately?

“You look different now.”

“You’re different.”

I know im different. You remind me. They remind me.

I look around at my classmates. Blonde, brunette, black, white, tan. Girls, boys, trans guys and girls.

Why the fuck does it matter if she screwed that guy? Or if he lost his virginity. Why does it matter if that girl wants to be a guy? Or that guy wants to be a girl?

There is so much hate.

We’re only kids. we can’t be kids forever. Don’t you listen to your parents? Enjoy your youth. Don’t cause drama. You say you listen, yet there are still huge numbers in suicide cases for teenagers. And what are the teachers doing? The parents? Adults that are supposed to protect us from this.

Keep us safe.

“I can’t stop crying. I’m so hungry but mom says I’ll be skinny soon.”

Why is it that we revolve everything around weight? Let me give you an example. A mother has twins. They’re healthy. One just.. puts on a little more weight. Instead of helping, do you know what her mother says?

“You’re so fat.”

And it starts. The disorder. Yes, she loses weight. Becomes “popular” with the girls and the jocks and she’s finally happy?

Throwing up your food makes you happy?

You can have so much sex. Drink so much booze. Smoke a shit ton of weed. But let’s face the facts.

we’re just kids and the world is laughing at us.

Don’t you remember? Climbing up on daddy’s lap, laughing, unaware of the cruel ass world. But— even then. We were so mean.

“I know my dad, do you?”

“My mom said your dad cheated on your mom and left. Hah! So funny!”

“My mom and dad said they loved eachother, so why do they fight?”

“My dad hit me last night. He said it was an accident. He smelled funny.”

“My mom looks at me weird after dad left.”

“I don’t see my parents much.”

I don’t think they notice, they shape our lives. They just like to criticize and criticize. And when we break. They yell at us and break us down. Like we’re the ones in the wrong.

“Depression isn’t real.”

“Teenagers are so exhausting.”

“So dramatic.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

To them, we are nothing if we complain. If we feel pain, or cry, or hurt. We’re dramatic because we never went through their struggle. Oh no. It’s not like we’re a whole new generation. No! We’re just dumb kids.

I don’t blame them. Their parents weren’t exactly uh.. stable. So they grow around this hate, pass that hate to us. And they wonder why we hate coming home. Why we HATE hearing,

“oh your just like your dad! You look so much like your mom!”

I spend hours. Changing myself. Taking nice pictures.

hey. I think I like this guy.

I should totally go for it, right?

They date. Everything was bliss. Then a random text.

“Hey, can you send?”

What? Send what?

“Nudes. Duh.”

I’ve never done that. she says.

“Don’t be a fucking baby.”

I’m with family.

“Just go in your bathroom.”

she did it of course. We all want validation. We crave it. Even if it will kill us. I don’t get the appeal.

I don’t get the appeal of being an asshole. Forcing yourself onto people, forcing them to vape or send weird pictures or.. kill themselves. Just don’t be a dick!

Be a kid.

I’m tired of the voices screaming at me, saying I suck. I’m an idiot.

I know!

They call me names, I go home and.. the feeling swallows me up. It’s the same thing over and over again. The same cycle. I’m tired of it! I want to be different! I want to look different.

why can’t I be DIFFERENT?!

I feel panic swallow me whole. The only thing I can hear is my ac wind blowing. Everything else is gone. And im.. okay.

Moral of the story? Be kind.

Oh! One last thing. I just need an opinion.

“Do I look different?”

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