#everyone hated him for like things he was within reason or just not even wrong to do or think so basically i will die defending hjm forever

[meatgrinder-0]

ill actually defend this man until i die ford pines theyre all wrong about you

[skyrigel]

Break-up

Characters : Mattheo Riddle, Draco Malfoy, Tom Riddle, Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini. Pancy Parkinson ( background )

How Slytherin boys will react when you ask them for break up.

Warning : might be toxic, alcoholism, possesive and obsessive behaviour, Reader feels they are too much ( in Blaise Zabini hc, you can skip that )

Mattheo Riddle

He's not going to listen a word so don't even bother.

He will shut you up real quick in more than one way, speaking too loud, cutting you mid, changing topics and rushing to classes that don't even exist and his most favourite, kissing you.

He would kiss you so hard that every thought inside your head would evaporate in fuzzy vapour, the bubbles in your head popping with each moan that would escape your throat.

“You were saying something?” He would ask so wickedly, amused with the dumb look you have plastered on your face and relishing while your fumble within words.

“ I don't think it's important." He would take your hand, kissing the inside of your palm, his sweet words vibrating through your skin.

“ yeah, not important.”

Draco Malfoy

Ofcourse he would be a nonchalant bastard about it, despite the brimming tears at the inside of his eyes.

“ oh, fancy potter now, don't you ? ” he would snarl, accusingly, his voice harsh and contempt choking him.

Draco would do everything wrong, say the wrong things, do even more.

He would start by parading Pancy around, so desperate that he would also accept Miss Greengrass's date invite.

But he would also cry, as soon as the facade will crumble, he would grip the sink till his knuckles went white, face wet and red with tears that wouldn't stop.

Then a word with his mother would do the miracle and the next thing you know would be a very drunk Draco howling and sobbing his undying love for you, refusing to leave and would make everyone listen how much he loves you, and how you belong with him.

“ Draco.” you winced at the grimness left behind after dries tears, softening.

“ Go back to your dorm.”

“ kiss me night and i'll go.” Draco slurred, you were pretty sure you smiled as soon as he said 'fight' instead of night.

“No.”

“ Yes!” He would lean down at you, pouting, and how much you loved this boy, all his tantrums, all his shenanigans. Your pretty, smart and silly boyfriend.

“Okay.” you breathed, pecking his cheek, tasting his tears and how much you hated it.

“ I'll be good...good for you.” he will be, you thought.

Tom Riddle

“ You decided that yourself ? ” Tom would whisper ever so dangerously, pressing closer, you could hear the pitch silence outside the tapestry.

“ It's not... It's not working Tom.” you knew he loved you but he was gone half the time, half the time with books that were too bold and dark, of magic that was malicious beyond your wits.

“ yeah ? ” He would smear his thumb across your face, kneading your cheek and you tried your best to stay quiet but the arousal that lurched inside you, just by his mere touch, sometimes just the way he looked at you, like he was part of your soul.

Tom would smirk, delighted when you moaned for him like that, he wasn't accepting at first how you drived his crazy just by existing. He wouldn't let you go, never ever.

“ I want to bury my soul into you.” His nose mapping your neck, taking your scent.

“ oh.” you trembled when his hands worked their way inside your shirt, cold rings blazing in your warm flesh.

“ But it will take time my darling.” his disappointment flushed when he looked up at you, breathless and hot under him.

“ so for now...” his mouth twitched, Head boy Tom Riddle, sinking to his knees, eyes glinting so bright. Oh how much he wishes to mingle your souls together, how much.

Theodore Nott

He's going to sensible, furrowing hard but listen when you tell him all the reasons how it could'nt work , he's considerate enough to pat your back, soothing you, when you break down in between.

“ If you need time baby, then I'll be patient.” he would say, kissing your forehead.

He wouldn't sit next to you in classes despite his soul wanting to crawl out of his body and embrace you.

Theo only sometimes snuggled next to you in armchair, you couldn't even blame him for it was too cold

He was on his best behaviour ignoring the totally 'accidental' beat ups of guys who were going to ask you or almost did, but in either way they never showed up.

“ I see you aren't dating anyone.” He would make no attempt to get up from your lap, discarding your homework with a swish of his wand.

“ shut up, or i will pour this ink pot on you.” you would bristle like a cat, it was inevitable not to card your fingers in his hair, scratching his scalp, he relaxed into your touch, chuckling.

“ It wasn't me.”

You sighed, looking at the bruised knuckles because your baby wasn't even trying to be subtle. He could have used his wand, phew.

“ c'mon, now can we please date again ? ” He would look up with puppy eyes, sticking out his lower lip to look extra cute. Shit, you shouldn't have told him that.

“ You guys stopped dating ? ” Draco asked, brow raised in question.

“ hey.” His fingers reached to trace your jaw, arching a little as you gaped a soft, ‘Theo’

“ Please, please, please.” He pleaded, his chin raised, as if he could claim your lips just like that.

“ Get yourself a room ! ” Pancy snapped, Theo only sneered while you looked away flushed pink.

“ Theo, stop.” you whined, when he got up, hawling you up in his arms as you wacked him repeatedly.

“ I've been a good boy.” he would mouth, smiling when you would hide your blush in the crook of his neck.

“ The only thing I am interested in breaking with you,” a pause, “ is my bed.”

Blaise Zabini

“ What did I do wrong ? ” that's his first question and you're already guilty.

“ It's just everything is so messy Zab, it's too much for me.”

He couldn't say anything more, the lump in his throat strangling each sound that passed between his cartilage.

“ Blaise...” you whispered when his whole face, that shined brighter than the whole sky withered away.

“ Hey...” you cooed and nudged him lightly and it was enough to break free the sob that grasped his chest, his whole heart. He hiccuped before large tears streamed down his coppery skin, gleaming in the basking glow of midnight.

“ Don't... please..d.. don't ” he sobbed harder, his whole body shaking.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him closer till your heart were crossed.

“ I am too much Blaise... Like a black hole.” you could never take away his glisten, never.

“ I love you.” he said, wrapping himself around you, closing his eyes as tear escaped and brushed against your clothes, love lorned and love sick.

“ I love you too.” because how could you not say it back ? When he loved you like you were the most precious one to him.

You will try, try your best and let him shine, protect him from your drakness, you have to try your best.

New Mattheo fic - Don't blame me

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[meownotgood]

WEEK ONE — masturbation + aki hayakawa, 18+, gn!reader, jerking off, pillow humping, sexual fantasies, edging, a hint of degradation, aki just can't help his feelings for you

kinktober masterlist

Everyone knows Aki has a crush on you. 

It's as obvious as it could possibly be. He's always staring, always coming up with any excuse he can to slip away from work for a while and come talk to you. He leaves frequent gifts on your work desk: notes in his handwriting, flowers or snacks or souvenirs he got for you from Hokkaido. 

He's unusually awkward when your name gets brought up in conversation, he's jittery whenever you're around — The last time you tagged along on the division's monthly drinking night, Aki was practically a mess, choosing to drown himself in as much alcohol as he had the pocket change to order, simply to keep from losing it because you'd sat next to him. Of course you had to sit right next to him. 

You've kept him infatuated for forever now. The thing is, Aki doesn't care if he's obvious. You're so pretty, he thinks. He's thought so from the very beginning. You're pretty and interesting and smart and it isn't his fault; he really can't control how his heart flutters and his head goes dizzy every time you talk to him, it just happens. You just have that effect on him. 

He can't help but feel shy every time you call his name in that sweet voice of yours; so polite, sticking to Hayakawa-sir even though he's told you before that you can use his first name. You grin every time, and you explain, But you get embarrassed when I call you Hayakawa. He can't help it when his face turns red all the way to the tips of his ears because you're teasing him, giving him a hard time for how stuttery he's getting. 

You were particularly teasing today. Aki knew you must've been in a good mood from the moment he arrived at headquarters. You held him by his arm, you cooed praises into his ear for how hard he's been working lately. Told him if he ever needed a break, he could come to your office any time he wants to and you'd give him a massage or make him some coffee. You insist. 

Maybe that's why he can't sleep right now. 

He's tried to get some sleep this time, he seriously has. He hates when he's like this. When he finds he's unable to stop thinking about you, he'll try everything he can to wind down and make himself forget. He'll go for a run to try and get his energy out, take an ice cold shower, smoke until his lungs are burning to attempt to quell the noise in his mind, and yet tonight, none of that has worked. 

Nothing can chase away those thoughts of you, those memories of your pretty face and your teasing hands. Nothing convinces his heart to stop pounding within his chest. Aki tosses, turns. His sheets rustle and his mattress shifts underneath his weight. 

It's a real conundrum. He's felt hot all over ever since he climbed into bed. His face is warm, he's practically sweating. Turning again, he takes a quick glance at his alarm clock, the screen reads 11:54 which is several hours since he first attempted to sleep and a few minutes since he last checked it. 

You were touching him so much today. So much, more than he's used to, even for you. No-one else ever touches him like that, nobody ever hugs him, holds his hand, makes him feel wanted. He wonders if you know how worked up you get him, if you can tell his heart is racing, or know the reason why he's shifting is because his slacks are getting tight. 

11:56, now. Aki's head is spinning. 

This is stupid, wrong of him, even. He's not super close to you. You're just one of the Public Safety office workers. If he wants to be technical, he could be considered your superior, actually. A superior fantasizing about one of the little devil hunter assistants. He's terrible. 

Aki can't help but yearn to feel your touch elsewhere, everywhere. He needs it, needs you, warmth buds in his core and there's a steady ache between his legs. He was short on breath before, when you'd grabbed his arm and pressed real close, and even now, just from thinking about it, he's — 

Fuck. Aki twists, rolling from his side onto his back, he rubs his knotted up temple with his finger and his thumb. It's too much. You're going to be the death of him. 

His breath comes out heavy and shaking and loud in his ears. His chest rises up and down, his trembling fingers slip under the blanket, then underneath the waistband of his sweats, and his heart begins to pound faster in anticipation, hammering against his ribs.

He hesitates for a second. In the end, he gives in like he always does. Shame pools thick in the pit of his stomach, but it isn't enough to stop him from working his hand down — His palm brushes the soft fabric of his briefs, he gropes the shape of his cock through his boxers and he's already stiff. He sighs, he lets his head toss back. 

You'll forgive him for this, right? You'd forgive him for getting hard when all you did was barely touch him, and for using thoughts of you to get himself off, wouldn't you? He's just so lonely, so stressed out, that's all this is. You have to forgive him, you have to understand. Aki swiftly decides you would, because he can't wait any longer; he's been needy like this for hours upon hours now and at this point, it's far too late for him to stop. 

Aki pushes the blanket away, he tugs his sweats and his briefs down to his thighs at the same time, he hisses when his cock comes free. Slowly, he wraps his palm around, and he brings his thumb to the head, rubs it slow, feels himself throb steadily in his hand. 

He's already dripping, precum beads in droplets at his slit and dribbles down to dirty his knuckles, each of his fingers. There's wetness sticking to his palm. A disgusting sound echoes as he pumps himself, up and down nice and careful, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth. 

It feels so fucking good. Aki groans in pleasure, immediately forgets how perverted this is, he closes his eyes, thinks of you. He isn't the type to do this, he's never felt this way about anyone, he doesn't even touch himself because he's never had a reason to — but you've changed everything. 

You're the reason for this, and when he's got his cock in his fist, you're all he can think about. He imagines your touch, your voice, your warm breath on his skin. Aki tries to picture how it'd feel to kiss you, to press his lips on yours and have your tongue in his mouth. How it'd feel to hold you, to have you be the one to jerk him off. 

Your hands are so perfect; Aki's memorized the way they look, the way they fold when you're writing or grabbing his arm or holding your drink. They're dainty compared to his, they'd probably feel softer, so much gentler. Ever since a few weeks ago, he's fallen into the habit of using his left hand to touch himself as opposed to his right. It's clumsier this way, but it's easier to imagine his hand is someone else's, yours. 

Your soft hand around his dick, stroking him just like this — Aki doesn't know if he'd be able to last. If he'd even be able to look at you, let alone talk, let alone do anything but plead your name.

Your fingers are so pretty, you'd complimented him once, Aki remembers how you sat next to him and intently watched him sign paperwork like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He'd shaken his head and written you off then, but he wants to know if you'd compliment him again, if you'd still think so when his fingers are cradling your face or pushing past your lips. 

Would you still think he's as pretty — his fingers wrapped around his cock, his hair down and how you like it, his earrings you say you like so much glinting in the low light — if you saw him like this? 

He wonders if you'd tease him the same as you do at the office. Oh, Mister Hayakawa, you've been wanting this for so long, haven't you? You're so fucking dirty. How long have you been jerking yourself off every night to the thought of me? So damn needy, you just want me to take care of you, huh? 

Yeah, he's dirty, he's rocking his hips into his grip, he's whining and sighing soft gasps of pleasure, louder than he probably should be. He's pumping his fist faster as he pictures your face down between his legs; you'd look precious with your hair tucked back, your lips would feel as plush as he'd imagined and you'd stare up at him with such an innocent expression, your eyes practically sparkling as you take his cock in your mouth. 

He can't take it. Aki pants with weight behind every breath, he twists his wrist and squeezes, pumps even faster and thinks he just might lose his mind right here — and then, he takes his hand away. 

He lets go, his dick falls against his stomach and he keeps one hand in his hair and the other beside him, despite how badly his nerves are screaming for him to keep touching. He allows his breath to even out, stares at the ceiling and waits for his mind to clear.

He doesn't want to cum yet. Not when it's only been a few minutes. If he cums now, he'll probably get too exhausted to cum a second time. So he can't, not right now, not when he has more he wants to think about. 

Twisting over on his side, Aki brushes his bangs away when they fall messily around his face. He presses his palm to his forehead, feeling the sweat trickling from his skin. His fingers twitch. He debates what he's about to do for a few seconds.

He shouldn't, it'll be a hassle. But when he knows how good it's going to feel, he can't resist. Hurrying, he lifts his head and grabs his pillow from underneath, he adjusts, burying his face in the sheets when it starts to feel warmer. He situates himself on his stomach, pillow firm between his legs. 

Deep, slow rolls of his hips cause him to forget any of the sense he was still holding onto. He exhales hard, shakes even harder. Aki fists the sheets in a tight hand, he leans his head into his forearm, he grinds his aching cock against his pillow until his thighs are beginning to hurt.

If he was more confident, confident enough to tell you how he feels, maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe if you knew, you'd let him fold you over his bed and fuck you just like how he's been dreaming of, slowly and dizzyingly tender, enough to make him forget about everything else. Maybe. If he's good. God, does he even deserve it? 

Either way, it doesn't matter what he wants. He'll do whatever the hell you ask him to, whatever you'd be willing to give him he'd be happy with — He'd be content just fucking the space between your thighs, or having you talk to him while he gets himself off and humps his pillow like a pathetic idiot; anything you want, whatever you want. As long as you're there, as long as he can hear your voice and feel your touch, and not be so alone. 

The smooth cotton of his pillowcase is slick and wet with his precum. His cock is throbbing incessantly, pleasure spreads through his entire body and he doesn't care that his mattress is squeaking, that he's losing rhythm. He breathes heavy with every rut of his hips and imagines you're here, you're beneath him. 

Arms strung around him tight, you'd lock eyes with him and he wouldn't dare to look away. Feels so good, you're perfect, Aki, you'd praise, and he loves your praises, You wanna cum? Oh, but you can hold out for a little longer for me, can't you? 

Aki shivers. Of course. If you're the one asking him, he just has to. Especially when you call him Aki.

Aki, that's it, keep going. You're so sweet, so good for me. I belong to you. I'm all yours, forever and ever. Does that make you happy?

You're his, all his. You'd sound so perfect moaning his name as he bullies his cock into you. His first name, his and no-one else's, no extra politeness or honorifics. You'd say it softly as he slides inside, say it when you're begging him to fill you deeper, repeat it when you're telling him he's got to beg for you if he wants to finish. 

C'mon, Aki. Cum for me. Give me all of it. 

Yeah, Aki mumbles out loud to himself, his voice is breaking, he thrusts his hips with reckless abandon, I'll give you everything, oh, f-fuck, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum… 

He shoves his face into the bed as much as he can manage to muffle his noise, his fragile moans and loud whimpers. His shoulders tense, muscles aching. A few more shallow movements and he's done; he chants your name over and over again as he finishes, cumming all over his pillow and his sheets, thick ropes of white dirtying the fabric, making a mess. 

Falling limp, Aki lays like that for a while, catching his breath. Everything begins to fade, working through to tiredness. He should get up and shower, wash his sheets and his pillowcase, but he's so exhausted he can't even manage to move. 

He feels warm all over again, just less intense this time. Aki realizes he was saying your name as he came. Embarrassing. He can only hope he wasn't loud enough for anyone to hear. 

He'll fall asleep now, at least, with warm thoughts of you to fill his head. A date with you would be nice sometime. Nothing too crazy. He'd take you anywhere you wanted to. He also wouldn't mind taking you back to his apartment and making you something for dinner, whatever you'd like. 

If you were here now, he'd hold you as close as he can get you, breathing soft and slow while drifting off silently, his arms wrapped secure around your waist.

He's almost asleep. But —

Ah. He'd forgotten he has to work at the office tomorrow. So he's going to have to face you, first thing in the morning. 

The next time he sees you, he doubts he'll be able to do much talking. But he'll get busier soon, there's a lot of devil hunting missions coming up. Who knows when Aki is going to see you next, so if he doesn't tell you his feelings soon, when will he? 

He's decided. Tomorrow, he's going to ask you out. 

[dearsnow]

THIS CAN WORK

- as you’re trying to forget about him, the man who broke your heart shows up at your doorstep. or in which jake gets yelled at by the entire hard deck. (jake “hangman” seresin x fem!reader, angst -> fluff, reading part 1 is probably a good idea but idk if it’s 100% necessary)

PART 1

word count: 2,032

a/n - the official part 2 is here!! thank you for all the love part 1 got <3 i’m not personally the biggest jake fan but writing this was honestly so fun. i loved exploring the softer and more insecure parts of his personality, so i may have more planned for him in the future 👀

It’s been two days since Jake cut you out of his life, and to say you’ve been devastated is an understatement. You still have his shirts and his stupid nighttime noise maker, and with them, the lingering feeling of his touch on your skin. You’ve already texted to let him know that you’ll drop off his things later, but he has yet to respond. It’s like he’s dropped off the face of the Earth. Good, you think. Let him. But he better at least wipe any memory of himself from your thoughts first.

You’re trying your best to forget, you really are. You took down the pictures of him that hung on your wall, right by your bed, and you’ve shoved the pillow that holds the faint scent of his cologne into the depths of your closet, and the photos of him on your phone are sitting in the recently deleted album. It’s better this way, you tell yourself. You need to get him off your mind as soon as possible and move on to better things, better people. Like a stubborn stain, his presence remains.

But you still want him like you’ve never wanted a single thing before, and it makes you sick.

Jake had never felt worse in his life. As soon as he saw you walking away, he regretted it, but if there’s one thing Jake Seresin hates, it is being wrong. His friends called him every synonym for wrong in the dictionary that night.

“You’re an idiot, Bagman. She was the best thing you had going for you and you just pushed her away like that?” Phoenix scoffed. She had overheard snippets your break-up, and after prompting Penny, she knew the full story within seconds.

“I did what was best for her-“

“No, you did what was best for you.” Penny interjected. “If you can’t make the effort to keep someone so amazing in your life, you’re never going to get anywhere. Relationships require compromise and change on both sides. The whole time you were with her, she was bending over backwards to accommodate you, and you couldn’t even shift to the side a little and give her a pinch of what she needed.”

Jake could feel anger rising in his throat. He knew best, right? No one saw his perspective. No one could feel how unhappy he would’ve made you. He was setting you free. Right? Please, let him be right.

Rooster prodded him in the stomach with his pool stick. Apparently everyone was in on the conversation. “You’ve got that self-pitying look, man. You fucked up. You’ve been fucking up. If you really think you’re not good enough for her, isn’t that a reason to become good enough for her?”

“I just…” For the first time, Jake was at a loss for words. He was coming to recognize that he was wrong. He was so, so wrong, but that felt like a slap in the face. For the first time, Rooster’s words didn’t intend to antagonize him. They were honest, and he hated it.

Bob tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Jake pushed it off. “You should talk to her.” He offered. “Tell her your side, and if she’s open to it, work on yourself so you can be good for her.” His voice was soft and soothing, like he was whispering to a wounded animal. Jake felt himself burning up under the gazes of his friends.

“Yeah,” He swallowed hard, finally coming to terms with the fact that he can make mistakes. “Maybe I will.”

You’re humming to yourself, cleaning your apartment’s modest kitchen. The sun is out, shining golden beams upon the shiny counter you’re wiping down. It smells like the nicely-scented cleaner you just bought. The old one smelled too much like him. But, as you move on, so does life. Thinking about it gives you a headache, so you’ve chosen to do anything but think.

A knock at your door makes you put down your rag. You figure it’s just your landlord, considering that you were meant to pay your rent yesterday. You sigh, readying yourself to tell sweet Mr. Hammond that you’ll pay it ASAP.

Your fingers grip the door handle and pry it open. The thing has always been a little too hard to move; old hinges, you figure. Before you can get the door to open fully, you stop in your tracks. Jake.

He’s holding a bag of your favorite takeout with a sheepish look on his face. You consider slamming the door, but it would probably get stuck if you moved it too fast. “Have you come to collect your things?” You ask softly, looking him up and down. He looks like shit. He has seemingly forgotten how to shave, his stubble turning into the awkward length that you always chided him to take care of, and his deep green eyes are laden with sadness. It almost makes you feel bad for him— until, of course, you remember he broke your heart. Calm down, you think, make this quick and easy. Get him in and out.

“No.” He states simply. “I wanted to apologize.” This is a big thing for him, something so new that it sounds foreign to your ears. Jake apologizing? His shoulders are hunched slightly. You resist the urge to put a loving hand on his chest, as you usually did when he was feeling out of sorts.

“It’s fine.” Your voice is quiet, laced with as much kindness as you can muster. “I put all your stuff in a box, if you wanted to pick it up.” You’re still subtly prompting, trying to get him out again.

He places the takeout in your grasp, his pinky finger brushing lightly against your own. You hate how it still makes you tingle. Your other hand picks at the edges of your soft loungewear. Jake purses his lips slightly as you step backwards, your feet shuffling against the linoleum floor. “Can we talk?”

“I thought we just talked.” You respond curtly. He sighs, eyebrows drawn.

“I mean really talk. Just hear me out this one time, and if you want, you’ll never have to see me again.”

You nod slightly, resigning yourself to the fact that you have to get this over with. At least your apartment is clean and sparkling; in your own way, you’re telling him that you don’t need his permission to live a nice life. You can clean, and you can take care of yourself. The takeout finds its place on your small table. You pull out a stool from the side of your island and sit down as the stool’s legs creak underneath you. Jake sits, too, opposite you. His hands are shaking a little, but you turn your gaze up to his face.

You can hear his breaths deepening as he clasps his hands together. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”

“I appreciate your apology, but that doesn’t really change what happened.” You state. He holds up a finger as if to tell you to wait just a bit. Your eyes pass over his dejected expression, his mouth tilting just the slightest bit downwards.

“I know. I was being stupid, and I see that now. You’re amazing, honey. You’re nice and generous and this genuine kind of comforting that makes me smile. When I’m with you, I feel like I want to be better. And trust me, I do. I want to be so much better for you. When I first met you, I thought that you’d be a fit for Bob or something, that’s how amazing you are. I thought deserved someone like him, someone just as caring, but I fell in love with you instead, and now look where we are.” He chuckles dryly. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “I guess I just felt inadequate and stupidly insecure. I know I’m not what a respectable girl like you would want, so I pushed you away and hurt you instead. I didn’t consider your feelings at all that night, and for that, I really am sorry. I don’t know if that explanation changes anything now, but I had to give it a shot; you were never too sweet, I was just too damn bitter.”

His words come out in a ramble. You’ve never seen him so much as stutter, but his confident, calm voice is bordering on anxious. You can’t even believe what you’re hearing.

It takes a lot of guts to say something like that. When you look back on your interactions, on everything he’s ever said or done around you, you finally see it clearly. All he does is build himself up to be this great figure, so much so that people can’t tell that his ego has been sorely bruised. That’s why he shrugs off comfort and security, fucking up every sure thing in his life during the process.

He’s boring a hole into your forehead with how hard he’s staring. His hands are still white-knuckled, holding each other like they’re seeking some sort of solace. The tension in the air is palpable as you take a breath. “Thank you. I… It’s nice to hear you acknowledge that.”

Jake can hear his breathing quicken shakily. That could’ve gone a lot worse. You’re not screaming at him, hitting him, kicking him out, anything that he thinks you should do. You’re just sitting there, nails digging into the flesh on your arm, looking shocked and heartbroken all at once. He takes one deep gulp of air. “You’re welcome. I’ll get out of your hair now.” He stands to leave, but your smaller hand catches his. His palm is damp.

“I’m sorry you ever had to feel that way about yourself.” You say. His small admission of insecurity weighs on you like nothing else. “You’re a good guy, Jake. I hope you’ll take this as an opportunity to work on yourself and find what makes you happy.”

Budding tears prick at his waterline. He hasn’t cried in a long time, but looking at you makes him want to. He wants to slide into your arms and sob, press his face into your neck and tell you over and over that he wants you back. He has to try. He thinks he’ll regret it for his whole life if he doesn’t. “You make me happy,” he hesitates, “and if you’ll have me, I’d like to have you around while I work on myself. I need you. You make me want to be good enough for you.”

You take one step, then another, and he doesn’t protest a single bit as you envelop him in a hug. His muscles relax as he wraps his arms around you, the tension breathing a sigh of relief. “I’d like that.” Your voice is slightly muffled from being pressed into his chest, but he hears you loud and clear. “I missed being with you.”

You missed the way he would cook you breakfast in the mornings with a dish towel thrown over his shoulder and classic rock playing from his phone. He always told you that you’d get the whole experience when you visited him, starting with his lips caressing your collarbones and continuing with breakfast in bed. It didn’t even matter if you didn’t want to leave; he would take you with him, wherever he went. He even got in trouble once for sneaking you on base.

You missed his scratchy morning voice and warm hands and how he always had an arm around you. You missed him caring about you, wiping your tears, and you missed how confidently he showed you off and stood up for you. You missed almost everything about him, if you’re being honest. You thinking you could live without him was but a brief lapse in your sanity.

“I missed you too.” He whispers. “I… I really do love you, darlin’. I’ll shape up, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You smile.

For the first time in a while, Jake can feel hope pricking at his heart, and you can feel it beating through his shirt.

Maybe, just maybe, you think, this can work.

Taglist: @seitmai

[aashi-heartfilia]

What MaoMao feels for Jinshi...

(Vol 5 epilogue discussion)

Love, duh. She wouldn't let just anyone choke her to death. Isn't it obvious? She just doesn't realise it yet because of her repressed emotions. I've seen a lot of bad takes and people hating on the Vol 5 epilogue, saying it's one heck of a disaster but honestly, it's not. Here's why:

I think it does a very good job of humanizing Jinshi, the imperial brother. Before this point, we were always given a picture perfect image of Jinshi, in his most angelic form...but after seeing this, it looks like he's very much capable of murder, lol. No seriously!

Previously, Jinshi was always all sunshine and roses and this is the first time we see a pinnacle of his anger and frustration taking a form.

Honestly, anyone would be angry. Jinshi has done so much for MaoMao and almost everyone close to him knows that he has eyes on her and only her from pretty early on in the series and only MaoMao is the one person who seems to be in the dark. Or more precisely pretending to be in the dark.

She is literally running away from her own feelings and that's what made Jinshi so frustrated.

It was the same thing in the 'Frogging chapter' (yeah, that's what we're calling it). She was "playing the role of an ignorant maid who's in the dark as to what her supiriors are upto". Jinshi was trying to tell MaoMao that he is the imperial brother and he does in fact like her but that never happened because MaoMao kept pretending that it was a frog.

Same here, even if he didn't say it outright, he was dropping so many hints! Who else could have gifted MaoMao a Moon hairpin? Who would have given her beautiful dresses to wear in the banquet?

Jinshi is called the Moon Prince for a reason and that hairpin had a moon and opium poppy. even other people recognised that it was given by him to MaoMao like Rishu's half sister, so a smartass person like Mao should be able to guess that this was all from Jinshi.

The same person who's busy day and night made preparations for her, only to see some unknown random person dancing with her and kissing her hand.

He was jealous and it's only human.

In fact, I'm glad that he's not a complete saint.

He was mad at MaoMao for pretending to be in the dark when he has gone to great lengths to take care of her, and he was hurt that the same person would even suggest him to marry someone else, i.e. consort Rishu.

He was trying to tell her how he feels, and she wasn't even willing to acknowledge anything that is between them.

Adding to the fact, she knew the thing between Basen and Rishu and yet she chose to turn a blind eye, to the love that could blossom between them and suggested her name to Jinshi. It was wrong on so many levels because MaoMao knew everything and yet chose to give the most political suggestion she could think of.

Maybe because of her repressed emotions, she herself has become heartless while making decisions but just like a double edged sword, it has consequences.

So it was a mixture of anger, hurt and jealousy for Jinshi.

And he wanted MaoMao to feel the same.

The same amount of frustration he has felt as MaoMao keeps running away, just because it would be a little troublesome.

Yeah, he's shitty just like that, and so is she.

(and we love them for it ❤️)

Does it justify what he did? No. But it seems like MaoMao herself doesn't even mind it that much. She looked like well within her comfort zone. Otherwise, we know how capable she is of defending herself. But she was there, pretty much sitting with Jinshi until she dominated him completely and made her escape.

Guess they're both far from the vanilla couple that are usually expected in these kinds of series and I absolutely love it.

She was just mad he didn't poison her instead, like he promised her, to which he replied he would NEVER let her poison herself (because he also loves her a lot too, duh)

This entire scene looks more like a battle for sexual dominance, which MaoMao won.

She always has, since the very first day he saw the real her ❤️

[mclarensangel]

Our Girl

Warnings: body shaming, panic attack, insecurity, idiots in love, kissing, flirty comments, couple being obsessed with each other. if there is anything I missed, please let me know!

word count: 3.8k before images

You were in one of the hottest countries in the world with Lando. Abu Dhabi was gorgeous, don’t get me wrong. But boy was it hot. You had tried to pack clothes that would be good for the weather, but you didn’t want clothes that made you shapeless. Being friends with Lando meant that you would likely be on camera at least once, especially with the boy having the energy of a 5-year-old and being best friends with anyone and everyone on the grid. And so, with Lando being so well loved, you knew that if you were seen with him, then people would notice the big girl standing in the back constantly. Your outfit had to be perfect, at least to you. In your head, if your outfit had to be perfect to try and reduce the fallout that would no doubt come for you on Twitter. 

You loved Lando, probably more than you should, not that you would tell him. But the women that he had been seen with, were gorgeous. You keep telling yourself that you're gorgeous too but these were model-worthy women, and that, as you had been told many times, were not. So this outfit had to be perfect. It had to be perfect for him, for you, for all the women that looked like you. 

So this is how you ended up standing in a room with Lando’s baggage as well as your own, anxiety filling you after you had been told at reception that there was only one room left. And to make things worse? It only had one bed. This hadn’t been a problem before, having known him since you were 5, you had shared a bed plenty of times, but now? Now you were head over heels in love with the curly-haired man. And you had to pretend that you weren't. But that wasn’t your biggest problem right now. Right now, your biggest problem was getting ready and getting to the grid on time, you could tell Lando about the bed situation later. And anyway, there was a sofa, you could try and cover yourself up with the end blanket off of the bed, on the sofa. Lando would need the bed anyway, he has the biggest job to do here. And so to sum it all up, all of these reasons are what led you to stand in front of the mirror in the bedroom, nearly in tears as you looked at your reflection. You didn’t hate your body, in fact, you were your biggest fan, but the anxiety of everything was eating you up from the inside out. Every piece of fabric felt like it was clinging to your body. You have to take a deep breath you keep telling yourself. 

Your phone ringing from the desk nearby pulled you from your anxiety-ridden trance. Picking up your phone you see Lando’s contact lighting up your phone screen. The image itself makes you laugh. The man had made it as a surprise to make you laugh when you were having a bad day a few weeks ago even though it had some pictures in it that he hated. And he wouldn’t tell you, but he would use the worst images of him in the universe again if it made you smile the way it did again. 

Although the picture made you smile, the anxiety still bubbling within you made your thumb hesitate over the reject button before pressing the accept button. 

L: Hello?

       Y/N: Lando? What’s up? Is everything okay? Are you h-?

          L: I’m okay, breath, I'm okay. I just wanted to ask what room I’m in.

Fuck. 

     Y/N: Uh, about that… 

The line stayed quiet as Lando waited for you to continue, and realising that you weren’t, he tried to push you for your answer as gently as possible 

       L: yeah?

  Y/N: Sotheysortofmessedupandtheresonlyonehotelroombetweenthetwoofusanditonlyhasonebed.

     L: What? Remember what I said about breathing? Take a breath and then tell me, again. Okay? 

Taking what might have been the biggest breath of your life you repeat yourself

Y/N: They messed up the rooms

   L: okay?

Y/N: And there’s only one hotel room between the two of us

   L: right…

Y/N: it only has one bed 

   L: Darlin’ I'm not seeing the problem here, we’ve shared a bed before. What room are we in?

Y/N: 410

   L: Okay, I’ll see you in a minute okay

Y/N: Okay. 

You both hang up the one at the same time, something that has come with being friends for such a long time. With a shaky breath, you throw your phone back onto the desk before making your way to hide in the bathroom knowing that Lando would want to know why you’re so anxious about sharing a bed all of a sudden. You catch yourself in the mirror again, and somehow you hate how you look even more than in the lights of the bedroom. Your hands feel cold all of a sudden, and that’s when you look down at them to realise that your hands are gripping the marble counter. The coldness of the counter does nothing to help calm down the feeling of anxiety that is threatening to bubble over. Tears begin to cloud your vision, building up over your vision, leaving everything blurry. You couldn’t help but feel that everything about your outfit was wrong. The corset is too tight, the skirt too long, the shoes too high, and your hair too tight. You had wanted to surprise Lando with your outfit. Hoping that maybe it might change the way he looks at you. But the more you look at yourself in the mirror the more you doubt it. Your brain reminds you of his friends, his ex-girlfriends, hell even his colleagues. 

Trying to loosen the ribbon at the back of your corset, you felt like the room was closing in around you. The gesture of having an old McLaren t-shirt of his turned into a corset, his name and number being the main focus of it. You had tried to pair it with a silk black skirt. You wanted to try and match the skirt to the rest of the outfit by wearing some flatform sandals with a silver buckle. Around your neck, you were trying to put on a silver necklace with the initial ‘L’ hanging down from the chain. Your hair was pulled back from around your face and pulled into an elegant silver claw clip. From your ears was a pair of simple diamond studs that had a climber attached to it, that Lando had brought you for your birthday after he signed his first contract with McLaren. And finally, you had some simple silver bracelets, an orange beaded bracelet with LN in heart-shaped beads, and some simple silver diamond rings that your parents had gifted you for your 21st birthday. When you had planned the outfit, it all felt perfect, but now it felt oh so wrong. Too in your head about everything, you hadn’t noticed Lando enter the hotel room, let alone the bathroom. It wasn't till you felt his warm arms surround you that you even noticed he was there. 

“Whats wrong darlin’,” he asks, his arms wrapped around your waist. His voice and warmth surrounding you made the tears finally fall from your eyes. Your anxiety finally bubbling over. 

“Everything” you manage to get out before the sobs quickly follow. Lando doesn’t say anything, a thousand thoughts running through his head as he sees his best friend break down in his arms. He looks around the room, noticing your washbag by the shower, your makeup bag on the counter and a necklace near the edge of the sink. “Let's sit down,” Lando says, trying to take a few steps backwards to be able to lean against the wall. However, what he wasn’t expecting was for you to freak out as he pulled you back. 

Your breath suddenly became laboured, the tears began falling quicker. And the safe feeling of Lando’s arms around you? Suddenly they all felt too suffocating. Why was he even here? Why did he ask you? He has plenty of other friends that were so much better looking. Was he trying to embarrass you by bringing you here? Trying to clear your sight, you look around the room trying to find the escape, but nothing was working and it felt like the walls were getting closer and closer to each other. You feel your body go into auto-drive as you take a few steps back. Suddenly, your back hit the glass of the shower door. The cold of the glass sends you even further into a spiral. 

Lando stood in the corner of the room watching you. He had seen you have an anxiety attack before but never as bad as this. He was panicking inside but he knew that if you were able to see him and saw him freaking out, you would freak out more. Taking a deep breath, he made his way towards you once more. 

“Y/N?” You heard him ask. But your mind was running faster than his McLaren car. You tried to respond but you couldn’t. Your vision was grey and your body felt like it was shaking enough for people to think that there was an earthquake. 

Trying to think back to how he had calmed you down before during an anxiety attack, Lando finally remembered. He quickly ran out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, first running towards the bed, he ripped the heavy blanket from the foot of the bed before running to his suitcase, practically throwing it to the floor, he unzipped it and pulled the first hoodie he saw from the neat piles of clothes. Having all of the items he needed, he sped back to the bathroom, noticing you still spiralling near the shower. Not wanting to scare you he moved slowly towards you. He took his hoodie, placed it into your hands, and pushed your hands towards your face. He let out a breath of relief when he saw you pause for a second. But the relief didn’t last very long when the sobs became even harder. He knew what he needed to do next. He took the blanket and wrapped you in it as tightly as possible before pulling you into his arms once again. 

You didn’t know what was happening but all you could smell was Lando and the pressure of something wrapped around you. The smell of him and the pressure helping you to slowly come back down to earth. You push your face further into whatever it was that smelt like him. The dizzy feeling not wanting to leave you be just yet. 

Seeing you slowly calm down, Lando knew that this would probably be the best moment to pull you towards the floor. Holding onto you, he began crouching down, your body following him slowly. And when he managed to get to the floor, he leaned against the wall near the shower door and pulled you close to him. From here he could hear your breathing slow down, the sobs turning to sniffles. And when the sniffles slowly stopped, he spoke

“What's wrong, love?” he asked, his voice soft and yet full of worry. The girl in his arms doesn’t respond.  

“Sweetheart?” he prods. There is a pause before the woman speaks. “You shouldn’t be seen with me” she almost whispers. Lando stills his hand from where it was running up and down her arm. “What?” he responds. His voice was almost angry. You didn’t respond. Lando pushed himself forward. Pushing you up so that he could look into your eyes. 

You could feel the anxiety bubble up again as you saw so many emotions in his beautiful eyes. “Why shouldn’t I be seen with you? I mean look at you!” He speaks, his voice calm but confused. “Exactly,” you mutter hoping that he doesn’t hear you. But, he did. “Has someone said something to you?” he asks, trying to figure out what had caused you to feel this way. “I saw a comment on the Quadrant Instagram” you start, feeling the tears in your eyes begin to well up again. You keep your head down not wanting to make eye contact with the man in front of you. “It was the one where you’d asked me to model one of your t-shirts, where we were matching” you finish with a sniffle. You look at Lando quickly before looking away when you see the anger on his face. “They said, that you deserve better friends and that someone as big as me shouldn’t even be in the same room as you in case I crush you” you say, the feeling of getting what someone had said off your chest making you feel like you can breathe a little bit better. “And then the receptionist earlier, recognised me from the pictures where I’ve been seen with you, and she was nice to my face, but when I had gone behind the wall to put some stuff back into my backpack, I heard her say-” you spoke before being cut off by Lando’s angry voice “What did she say?” “she said” you pause “as if she thinks that god of a man would even sleep in the same bed as her fatass. He’s probably worried she’d turn over in the night and crush him to death. Fat bitch” By the end of your sentence, Lando had moved to stand up and was moving towards the bathroom door. “Please don’t leave me,” you said into the quiet room as Lando got to the door. He stopped with his hand on the door handle, his knuckles white as he tried to reign in his anger at what he had been told.

—--------------------- lando pov

How fucking dare that woman say anything about his girl. What gave her the right to say something so disgusting? So untrue? The door handle beginning to feel warm in his hand is what brought him back to reality. He turned to see the woman who had always been so strong, so self-confident about herself, in pieces on their hotel bathroom floor. It’s something he never thought he would see. And he didn’t know how to deal with it. Should he call someone? No. You wouldn’t want anyone to see you like this. He sighed, seeing you sitting on the floor, still looking so gorgeous, with your head down and leaning against the shower door. He moves to sit next to you again, sitting as close as possible to you. Close enough that he could smell your signature sweet perfume. Close enough that he can see the tear streaks on your cheeks. He saw you cautiously place your head on his shoulder, making him smile. He moves his arm so that you can cuddle up to him easier. His fingers trace the material of your shirt. Looking down, he realises it's a corset, and the sight makes him blush. The fabric of the material feels familiar to him. He pushes you to sit up a little bit. And in that moment, he realises. He realises that he has been in love with you. He has been since he was 14 when you were the first person to run to him to celebrate his CIK-FIA World Championship. Maybe he’d just been pretending this whole time that he didn’t love you, or maybe he didn’t want to believe it, in case it meant that he would lose you. He looks down at your outfit, finally noticing the corset properly. His cheeks heat up when he realises what it is. It was his top that he had signed for her after his first podium, he couldn’t believe that you would have kept the t-shirt this long and how you’d managed to keep it in good condition from the 2020 Austrian Grand Prix champagne shower. The corset had his surname (and he definitely hadn’t had dreams in the past of it being your surname too, absolutely not) written right at the top with his number underneath. He didn’t know yet, but if he spun you around his signature would be on the back. Then he saw the necklace hung delicately around your neck, the silver chain elongating your neck as it shone beautifully from the base of your neck. And one day he hoped that it could be his lips there instead, if you’d let him. It took him a few more seconds to realise that it was his initial that was hanging around your neck. The more he took you in the more he noticed the little details. The orange bracelet around your wrist, his initials. The earrings in your slightly red ears, the ones he had brought you. The rings that he had helped your parents choose for your 21st adorned your hands that he’d always loved were smaller than his. He took all of you in, finally seeing you. Finally realising that you were his girl. Looking into your eyes, he saw how red they were, and he wondered how many times you had cried because of his fans. “I'm so sorry” he whispered, raising his hands to place them between your neck and your jaw.  “If I had known that my fans would make you feel like this I would never have ever started racing” He spoke quietly to her, his thumb rubbing back and forth gently on her cheek. “I love you so much” he told her. Never meaning anything more. 

y/n pov —------------------------

The two of you had told each other multiple times that you loved each other. Your heart broke a little bit when your mind told you that he would only ever meant that as a sibling, or a friend at most. Your heart raced as you felt him rest his forehead against yours, his thumb still rubbing soothing swipes against your tear soaked cheeks. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you as you sat in the bathroom. “Can i tell you something?” Lando whispered, pulling back from you slightly, almost regretting it when he saw the worry return to your eyes. “Do you remember when we were 14?” he asked. The memories came flooding back, making a smile appear on your face. “I remember when you came running past the security, even past my parents and straight at me just as I’d gotten out of the kart. It was that moment, with your arms wrapped around my neck and my arms wrapped around you that I realised I was head over heels in love with you. I’ve been trying to keep it to myself for the last 10 years, but I can’t do it anymore. I need the world to know you’re my girl. I love you, more than racing, more than life, more than stroopwafel’s” he said, the smile getting bigger at the end of the sentence. “I remember nearing pushing you over with how hard i was hugging you and nearly being told off by your coach because we nearly fell onto the kart. I’d never seen you smile so big. But” you paused looking up at him, seeing the worry flash across his eyes at your statement “i fell inlove with you when you tried horse riding for the first time, and you fell off. You looked straight at me and you had the worst hair cut but you put your thumbs up at me and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to live in this world if you werent in it. I tried dating other people, thinking I would finally be able to get over you, but i’ve never been able to get over you. My exs all said that they could see how in love with you I was and they couldn’t compete against it. You’d always have my heart. And they’re right, Lando. I love you more than anything in this world. I’ve only ever been able to call you my man in my dreams” you spoke, blushing towards the end of your sentence. 

“In your dreams, huh?” Lando teased, smirking. “Shut up” you mumbled, suddenly feeling very self conscious again. You felt Lando’s fingers under your chin, pulling it so that you would look up at him.  “Lets not waste anymore time. Be mine?” he asks you, his eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes. “Lemme think about it” you teased. “I suppose I can spare some time for you, but it’s on one condition” you continued. “Which is?” he asked, eyebrow raised. “Kiss me”. And that he did. You have never had such a passionate kiss in your life. It felt like every missed moment, every almost moment was being poured into the kiss. And if the kisses were like this, you never wanted to stop kissing him. But unfortunately, Lando’s phone began ringing. He groaned into your lips, not wanting this moment to end. Ultimately, it was you that pulled away. “You should answer that, boyfriend” you said. The word making him smile as he pulled his phone from his back pocket. “It’s Zak, but he wants to video call” he said nervously trying to regulate his emotions enough to speak to his boss. 

“Lando? Where are you? Are you still at the hotel? You’re lucky the hotel is literally across the street. Media starts in 10 minutes. Be here, or we will be having a talk.” the older man spoke, barely letting the younger man have a chance to get a word in. 

“Yes, Zak” he said, still barely containing his smile. The men nodded at each other before hanging up the phone. Lando placed his phone back onto the floor before pulling you back into a kiss. 

Begrudgingly, Lando pulled away, pushing himself to stand up. Then, he held his hands out to you. He managed to pull you up gracefully enough, and pulled you into him, pulling you in for another kiss, which made you begin to giggle. Your giggles set off lando’s giggles, and then you and Lando were holding onto each other, laughing. Lando moved his hands to hold your face again. 

“I need to go, but I’ll get Oscar, Max and the Guys to send their girlfriends in. I know you’re anxious, but I promise you’ll love them, and they’ll love you. And,” he said pulling you into a quick kiss, again, “I’ll see you soon, Girlfriend”. The words made your heart flutter. Lando stepped away, one of his hands still holding onto yours. He turned, about to finally make his way out of the bathroom when he came turning back to you. He pulled you into another passionate kiss. And as he pulled away he whispered into your ear “You look absolutely stunning, baby”. The pet name made you blush, which in turn made Lando smirk. He kissed your forehead, squeezed your hand and made his way out of the room. Away from his girl. 

Lando to his boys:

wags group chat:

y/n posted to Instagram

ynusername: today I became part of something I never thought I would. I made friends younger I could only dream about making. Younger me, if you could see me now, we made it. In more ways than one. Thank you @/landonorris for sending this angels my way and also for making me your girl.

landonorris: my girl

------ user 1: WHAT?!

------ user 2: we've been seeing this coming for years! FINALLY!

carmenmmundt: our girl

-------- landonorris: my girl

------- lilyzneimer: our girl x 2

------- flavy.barla: our girl x 3

------- francisca.gomes: our girl x 4

------- heidiberger_: our girl x 5

------- alexandrassaintmleux: our girl x 6

-------lilymhe: our girl x 7

------- iamrebeccad: our girl x 8

------- tiffanycromwell: our girl x 9

------- logjorup: our girl x 10

------ kellypiquet: our girl x 11

------ carolamtz1: our girl x 12

------ landonorris: MY GIRL

The corset in question (I've cropped my own face out, please no hate)

Let me know if you guys want a part two! And if you want to be tagged in part two!

[philosophiums]

Megumi Rant bc I'm So Tired

I was gonna talk about 271 and the ending chapters of JJK in general, specifically focusing on how Shonen Jump puts a hard end date on each series it publishes (which are based on conversations with the mangakas, sure, but with no leeway once it’s determined because SJ wants to keep cycling through new publications in order to keep making money - and those hard line end dates cannot possibly account for, say, sudden illness that would prevent a mangaka from releasing a chapter) and how it’s the best end to the series that many fans could have asked for given that info, but I’m tired and I don’t feel like yelling at a wall, so here’s a rebuttal aimed at a lot of Megumi hot takes™ I’ve seen since, really, 269 dropped.

Obligatory thing up front bc I know the JJK fandom hates reading and critical thought more than anything in the world, and that it operates on a very "but what about me" mentality: It's totally fine if you are dissatisfied with JJK in general or even just the ending. It's totally fine if you have mixed feelings about the way the story was wrapped up. It's totally fine if you think it could have been handled better even given the above information in the link above on how SJ operates. I'm not telling you to feel a certain way, but I'm walking you through the end of the story (read: Megumi's character specifically) bc I am so fucking tired of reading bad takes about "Gege hating Megumi" or whatever.

Holding everyone's hands as I go through these. Let's take these steps in shedding directionless rage together.

(Forewarning that this is long as hell. Gomen.)

Common Argument Number 1: Megumi didn’t have a character arc/didn't grow as a character

The first thing that needs to be understood to realize why this is wrong is that all of the characters in JJK have arcs based around power - gaining it, losing it, being overwhelmed by it, and so on. This is not new information as of the last few chapters; we've known for years now that JJK isn't a story that's focused on deep introspection nor prolonged emotional development. Power. Cursed Techniques. That's where Gege kept his focus. However, it's impossible to write a story with heavy themes of loss and fear and love without touching into a character's emotions at all, some of which become central enough to turn into arcs. (We'll circle back to this in just a moment.) The second thing that needs to be understood here is that, in the general sense of All Media (and not just JJK), not all character arcs have to span the entire length of a story. A full and complete character arc (which is to say, the movement that happens while a character is actively changing) can happen in half of a story or less, and it is no less satisfying for having done so. Now, what does all of that have to do with Megumi? Very explicitly, it means that Megumi not only experiences growth as a character, but that he also goes through not one, but two character arcs. ((He's not the only character with two arcs, but he's the reason for this post, so you guys can track down the others on your own.)) Both of his arcs are complete, in my opinion, even if they're not 100% satisfying. But satisfaction isn't the argument here, so we can touch on that later. Maybe. Megumi's first arc (his power arc) starts right out of the gate, but it doesn't begin to take shape until the chapters at the detention center (I would argue it specifically starts to become an "arc" [which is to say, experiences movement] right at the point where Yuuji dies - this is the inciting incident in Megumi's story), and it concludes during the Culling Games (the exact place of it's conclusion is a little waffle-y for me but it's between either the moment he is able to use his technique to beat someone solo within the depths of his shadows OR the exact moment that Sukuna looks at him and thinks that he's strong enough now to be Sukuna's vessel). This arc follows Megumi coming to terms with the reality that if he wants to save people, he needs to get stronger and he needs to get more in touch with the side of himself that is/creates his CT. And he accomplishes that. Is there more growth in this department that he could have had? Yes, absolutely. Taming Mahoraga, a fully realized domain expansion, etc. All of that could have happened, but none of that needs to happen in order for this arc to be complete. He sought power, he got power, and he used it to save people. That's a fully realized and completed arc. Megumi's second arc (his emotional arc) happens during the time Sukuna is wearing him like a suit. This arc has nothing at all to do with anything that happens before this point in time (it has nothing to do with power, nothing to do with fighting, nothing to do with saving people). Before this, Megumi's emotional state is fairly stagnant; any goals and/or momentum that he has outside of wanting to become stronger are usually skipped over or not acknowledged at all. Once his bodily autonomy is stripped from him, all that's left is emotion. And we get to see a complete emotional arc here - starting in stagnation, inciting incident of being possessed, and then the slow chipping away of his resolve as Sukuna kills his sister and performs a ritual to suppress Megumi's soul completely. Megumi is at his lowest point here, but he overcomes it and chooses to live. That's a complete arc. That's a conclusion. No amount of wanting him to mourn Gojo or of wishing for This, That, or The Other things change the fact that his arcs do in fact reach natural conclusions within the story.

Common Argument Number 2: Megumi didn't have a satisfying conclusion

I think this argument is a bit of a pull from a misunderstanding that revolves around argument number one. People are looking for an arc that is wrapping up in the final chapters, and they're upset that they're not finding it. And the reason they're not finding it is because, as mentioned above, Megumi's arcs concluded before he regained consciousness post-Shinjuku. Also, this may come as a shock to some people, but "satisfying" is relative. Which also means that I can't exactly argue against what people are feeling, because in this specific instance, it's all feelings based. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try!! I already covered that Megumi fully concluded both of his arcs, so it's not that he's lacking in power or emotional development. I think what people get stuck on is what Megumi says before he begins to fight back against Sukuna: that he wants to try to live for someone else. A lot of readers seem to take this as a step backwards for him, a return to who he was before everything in the story, but I disagree. I think it's actually a large step forward for him and, beyond that, I think it's realistic beyond simply satisfying the narrative. At the beginning of the story, Megumi is living for nothing. It's common for the fandom to think he's living for Tsumiki, but she's fully comatose and cursed; I doubt that he's living for her. At most he's living just in case a miracle happens and she wakes up, but that's not living for her. He's in what I think of as a transitional space, and he's stuck there. He's the only one in his year at Jujutsu Tech, he's not trying to develop his CT, he's just existing - going on missions and rolling his eyes at Gojo and doing school work. At the end of the story, Megumi actively chooses life. He had a way out, he felt that in many ways he was already dead - or at the very least, that he was irredeemable and better off dead. But he chooses to live. He chooses to fight back. And, more than that, he chooses to become an active participant in life. Yes, for him that means living for Yuuji, but even that still requires wanting to keep going, wanting to keep putting one foot in front of the other. He wants to face the world and all it has to offer - despite all the bad, and maybe in spite everything he went through. That's a satisfying character conclusion in my eyes. Everyone wants realistic representation of the struggle surrounding mental illness and how victories with them are not as "grand" as for neurotypical people until they're actually presented with realistic representation. Then all of a sudden it's "bad writing" and "unsatisfying" because the character didn't end the story without any gaps or holes and with a perfect little bow wrapped around their neck. God forbid there be an implication that a character gets to continue to live and grow beyond the last page. Anyway, just because he didn't have the conclusion you wanted for him that you built up in your head after years of living with the fanon version of Megumi you created doesn't mean his conclusion was bad or unsatisfying.

Common Argument Number 3: Megumi's characterization went right back to how it was during the Culling Game arc

...Duh??? I mean... where else was his personality and his behavior supposed to go? He spent a month completely suppressed by Sukuna. The only thing he was going to do without intervention is regress, not progress. What happened to Megumi when Yuuji reached out to him was him coming back to himself - and the only "himself" he had in recent memory was who he was immediately before Sukuna took over. Character progression cannot happen in stagnation, and stagnation is all Megumi had while he was suppressed in the bath™. Expecting any of that to change him for the better or to push him in any "forward" momentum is, quite honestly, ridiculous. The only direction Megumi could have gone is backwards, and he is (which means also we are) just lucky that he was able to be dragged into the version of himself that had already grown and that was waiting for his return.

Common Argument Number 4: Megumi didn't do anything during the fight against Sukuna

What gets me about this stance is that it seems to be the only one shared between the "shonen bros" who only read manga for the fight scenes and the hardcore Megumi stans who wish so desperately that he was the main character of the series. But like... what do you want him to do, here, exactly? Somehow find within himself the urge to get up and fight what seems to be a losing battle after watching his own hands kill not only his sister but the most prominent adult figure in his life? Resist all on his own (with no prior arc moments to support it) whatever mystical magical bs makes the bath™ work in keeping his soul suppressed? Do you want a good and well-structured character arc with logical emotional weight, or do you just want your favorite character to defeat a villain that is not "his" villain? I'll wait. Megumi's struggles during this story arc are internal, and his inability to fight is reflective of that. If he were to be resisting against Sukuna the whole time - trying to wrest control of his CT back or attempting to attack Sukuna's soul himself - then we would still be sitting in his power arc during this time. Megumi's inaction is physical representation of the inner turmoil and struggle that he was in during the fight, and I don't think that's very hard to understand. He is fighting; it's just that he's fighting himself. And he wins that fight. And he does do something in the fight against Sukuna. I firmly believe that Megumi choosing to live sealed the deal on Sukuna's death. Why else would Sukuna have been panicking so hard and doing everything he could to keep Megumi depressed and stuck in the ruts of his mind? If Megumi hadn't chosen life, hadn't decided he wanted to keep fighting in that moment, Sukuna would still be kicking. I don't think it's a stretch, actually, to say that Megumi delivered the blow that weakened Sukuna to Yuuji's kill shot. Megumi was integral to the fight - he just needed to go through his emotional arc first.

I'm sure I'm missing things, I'm sure I forgot things. But this isn't college and I'm not writing for a grade. What I am is tired of both Megumi hate and Gege hate. Megumi is a well-written character who is good representation of depression (at minimum), and who is also not the fucking main character. Like, I'm sorry that the character you project your mental illness onto acts mentally ill, and I'm sorry your favorite character is a side character who is written like a side character. These things tend to happen.

Yes, obviously, more could have been done with him and the wrapping of his character (and all of the characters) if the ending wasn't rushed, but that's not Gege's fault. Blame capitalism if you want to point fingers. JJK isn't the first manga with a rushed ending for exactly that reason, and it won't be the last.

Okay, I have to force myself to stop talking or we'll be here forever but:

The ending of JJK is not "bad writing," it's the best outcome that could have happened given the time constraints and publication constraints.

I agree that it would have been nice to see acknowledgements from the characters of the trauma they went through, but also I think that those things realistically take time. I don't think it's unreasonable that their first instinct would be to pretend that everything is normal for as long as they can. However, Megumi was not handled poorly, and he was not abandoned by Gege, and Gege does not hate him. He was well-written start to finish, and he was given a lovely ending that leaves his future wide open for possibilities.

Take a deep breath and stop trying to be the loudest voice in the room. Look at the text and supplement it with reality and the hard truths of a really shitty work culture, and understand that being upset is valid, but it's not valid enough to justify seething hatred for a mangaka whose entire work you probably read for free <3

[jeonscatalyst]

I just realized today after thinking about things long and hard that most of the hate Jimin gets today especially within the fandom is because of his bond with Jungkook. When I say it is because of Jungkook I don’t mean that Jungkook himself caused it, I mean that Jimin being associated to Jungkook, having a bond with him, loving him and being loved by him is the one of the biggest reasons he gets all the hate he gets today.

The very first people who started with this insane hate against Jimin were taekookers who developed a hate boner for him and started sending him death threats as early as 2015 because according to them Jimin kept coming in between their ship. Things got go much worse for Jimin after GCF in Tokyo and after 2017 in general as we all saw a huge increase in Jikook moments (because they were together alot and not because the company was pushing a narrative that they were the closest) and a huge decline in taekook moments which made the cult go feral. That is when the vitriol and vile hate we see these people have for Jimin started.

Whether they want to admit it or not, majority of Taehyung’s fans within the fandom are taekookers or were at some point and that led them to hate him too and that hate continued even after some of them stopped shipping taekook and became solo stans.

Jungkook solos always had a hate boner for Jimin and I believe this is because they saw and still see what most of us see in Jikook and it makes them extremely uncomfortable and that is why they constantly project unto Jungkook by claiming that Jimin makes him uncomfortable and that Jungkook hates Jimin and that’s why they don’t like him but the truth is that, they are the ones who felt uncomfortable watching Jimin and Jungkook interact. Something about Jimin and Jungkook’s bond always felt “weird” to them and they could sense the things jikookers feel when they see Jikook interact and seeing as most Jk’s stans are Y/Ns who picture themselves with him and most of them are deeply homophobic, it makes sense that they would have a huge problem with Jimin. I mean they know about Jimin having his mouth on Jk’s neck long enough to leave bruises. They know about Jimin’s sweaty earlobes being in Jk’s mouth. They know about Jungkook choosing to spend many a nights with Jimin doing “nothing” so it makes sense why they are uncomfortable.

Without Jungkook in Jimin’s life, there would be no taekookers to hate on him, no Tae solos (ex taekookers) to hate on him and no JK solos to hate on him either.

We also wouldn’t have blinks so desperately hating on Jimin because we know that a good number of Jk solos are blinks who token stan Jk just to hate on Jimin and other members.

Me specifically speaking about the hate Jimin gets because of his affiliation to Jungkook doesn’t mean Jungkook also doesn’t get hated because of his bond with Jimin but everyone knows that the hate Jimin gets is tripple what Jungkook gets. Stan tweet in particular seems to have it out for Jimin and I honestly don’t understand why. They look for the least opportunities to hate on him and mass like hate posts about him and in those posts, we see all the other idiots like taekookers, jjks, tae solos and other solos who hate Jimin more than they love their own faves because they don’t mind liking and even rting a post from a hater who has also hated on one of their faves so long as that person is dragging Jimin.

So many times I have seen people say Jimin’s solo stans are the worst solo stans but I can honestly say that Jk solo stans are the worst and it baffles me how two people can love each other so much and yet have the nastiest fans who are at each other’s throats every single day. I say Jk solo stans are the worst because they are manipulative, deception and pure evil. Don’t get me wrong, PJMs are a piece of work but they haven’t gotten to that level of evil yet in my books. Jjks are evil set of people. This fandom and the entire kpop community never think twice about any rumors that concern Jimin as they eat it up no questions asked, JJKs know this and they use it to their advantage. I have seen these people fake tweets, websites, messages and so many other things and spread them around just to “prove” that Jimin’s success is fraudulent because they cannot stand the fact that Jimin is the only member who can compete with Jk. They have single handedly created and spread the narrative that Jimin is fraudulent. After Jimin released his album they faked a tweet from one of the biggest Jimin funds accounts claiming that PJMs sent phones to the US to stream for Jimin. Before you ask me how I know they faked it let me tell you. JJKs would rather die than have Jimin break any of Jk’s records so if they could boost streams by sending phones to the US, JJks would have been the first ones to do it. They made up a fake tweet and spread it around and no one questioned it’s authenticity and even when the account denied it, no one cared. First of all who is stupid enough to do something like that and make a tweet about it? JJKs also created a fake account pretending to be a Jimin solo and threatened to leak Jk’s passport information a few weeks back and even though it was clear that they did it, no one batted an eye and jimin solos took the blame. Jjks/tkkrs have faked two gcs now (that we know of ) and tried to pin in on jkkrs. One happened right before Jimin’s album dropped (after we got Tteokbokki By Jk) and then the next one happened after AYS episode 6.

This is why I say these people are pure evil because I have seen Jimin solos do and say some messed up things against Jk but not up to the level of JK solos. They throw stones every damn time and hide their hands and Jimin takes the fall for it. They fake articles about him and his family, about his numbers, his success and the sad part is, they have way of getting the media to pick up on their bullshit.

Tae solos (ex taekookers) are just lazy. No offense to Taehyung’s beautiful soul but most of his fans don’t give a tiny rats ass about anything but his face. They don’t care about the music he makes, about his art. They are so quick to like and view and follow his accounts everywhere but when it comes to streaming his songs and actually supporting him, they don’t do it and because of that, they lash out at Jimin and call his fraudelent because they could never believe that Jimin whom they always considered inferior to Tae would get better streaming numbers than him. They spent years believing that the number of likes and followers someone has on social media equals success and when reality hit them in the face, they couldn’t accept that they were wrong but resorted to accuse Jimin of being fraudelent. How does hating on another person’s success make you succeed?

Taekookers, Jjks, and Tae solos (ex taekookers) have made all sorts of rumors about Jimin. They have accused him of sleeping with bang pd for favors (Jimin solos have done the same thing to Jk btw), they have accused Jimin of selling himself to pdogg and the other producers for favors. They have accused Jimin of being jealous of Jk and Tae. And the funny thing is, because these people hate Jimin so much and are desperate to bring him down, they choose to believe any negative thing they see about him whether it makes sense to them or not. Someone could post an article tomorrow claiming that Jimin is Donald Trump’s lover and you will see that post having over 100k likes with people agreeing to it even though they know it isn’t true. No one cares about the truth when it comes to Jimin, they just care about having a reason to drag him and most of this is because Jimin met a doe eyed boy over a decade ago and loved him.

No one would have cared about hating Jimin this much if he wasn’t a part of Jungkook’s life. Taekookers, tae solos, jjks wouldn’t have had this deep hate for Jimin if Jimin didn’t love Jungkook and if Jungkook didn’t love Jimin too and this is one of the reasons why Jimin and Jungkook just never made sense to me as platonic friends. There has got to be a reason why them together drives people so crazy and if their love and feelings for each other was just at the level of bestfriends, things would never have been this bad. If taekookers really didn’t see and fear something about jikook’s bond, they wouldn’t hate him so much or spend almost all their time talking about him on their blogs. Taekookers on tumblr can barely go a single day without bringing Jimin up on their blogs. Some Tae fans on tumblr can barely go a single day without bringing him up and talking about his success and work and then we have JJKs who are quite literally obsessed with Jimin and then Jimin solos obsessed with Jk. If JJks didn’t feel the tension between Jikook they wouldn’t project their discomfort and hate unto Jk so much.

Regardless of whether what Jimin and Jungkook have is platonic or not, I think it says alot that how they feel for each other brings them so much hate alone and together. I think it says alot that despite all these hate they have gotten for years, they just keep getting stronger. I think it says alot that millions of people cannot stand the ground Jimin walks on just because he has Jungkook in his life. Whether people choose to admit it or not, they feel the strong bond Jikook have and for some reason this frightens them.

No one breaks into an empty house. No one puts so much effort into something that isn’t relevant so usually when a whole lot of people are doing everything in their power to break or bring something down, it is usually because they see and fear it’s power. No one would care about hating on Jimin so much if they really thought Jk hated him. No one would care about discrediting his success so much of they really thought he was irrelevant, no one would try to make him the villain so much, if they didn’t see the beauty of his soul and no one would try so hard to dim his light if they only saw darkness.

It breaks my heart that their love for each other is one of the biggest things that brings them hate but there is some weird satisfaction I get from knowing that their bond is strong, deep and obvious enough to get this many people trying to destroy them individually and together. No great person ever had it easy. No one who made history ever went through life without getting stones thrown at them so I take this to mean that Jimin and Jungkook are meant for the greatest things. When people see your grace and the bright future ahead of you, they try to break your wings before you even realize you can fly but the good thing is, they always, always fail.

[nekropsii]

I saw a lot of people recently saying they purposely skipped the entire Openbound sequence because of Hussie's self-insert alongside like Meenah being interested in Karkat and characters like Meulin encouraging it

but that like doesn't make sense to me, because if they're going about Homestuck by skipping all the potentially uncomfortable portions, then how are they going about reading the comic in the first place?

I think my favorite part of this is how those are, frankly, pussy-ass reasons to skip it. Hussie's Author Avatar sucks on purpose, always, and Meenah is textually in the wrong there. She has a very poor grasp of consequences and the concept of what is right and wrong, it's a big part of her character. It's why her whole relationship with (Vriska) exists, which is also textually immoral, is handled and addressed as such, and paints Meenah as being predatory, intentionally or not, for chasing after someone so much younger than her who is, just... So vulnerable, mentally. Honestly, if they're skipping over the entirety of the Openbounds just for Meenah's weird obsession with Karkat, then did they skip over her relationship with (Vriska), too? Because that was very solid, fascinating characterization for both of those characters. And, again, paints her as creepy for doing it, because... She is. And it was a part of the "main comic", so to speak. What did they do about that? Is that fine? Did they skip all of those pages, no matter what? What's the limit here? Is this specifically an aversion to the concept of abuse in a relationship, period? Did they skip any page circling the relationship between Vriska and Tavros, or Gamzee and Terezi? Is it specifically an aversion to abusive and predatory age gaps? Did they skip all of Doc Scratch's pages and interactions with all of the girls? Is it specifically an aversion to an adult sexually abusing a minor? So, did they skip Dave Strider's entire intro, which is thickly soaked in the fact that he's getting abused, including sexually, by his 30+ year old brother?

Everyone has a right to be uncomfortable about anything, but the author intent is clear here- Meenah is in the wrong, and anyone supporting her actions is also wrong. This kind of makes criticizing the inclusion of her actions into the storyline... Well, bullshit, frankly. Not liking the inclusion of abuse because abuse as a baseline makes you uncomfortable is not a criticism, it is a statement of preference, and with that I have to gesture towards the entire rest of the comic, because Homestuck is full of that very same kind of abuse, and it is bad and graphic every time. Criticism of the inclusion of abuse within a storyline has to be about the handling and execution of that abuse within the confines of the plot, and in this case, and all other cases, I think Meenah's abusive tendencies are outlined pretty clearly as being a bad thing. If you read her actions as an endorsement of being a violent, selfish, predatory bully with basically no concept of morality or consequences, you either are illiterate, didn't actually read any one of the pages she was in and got your opinion from someone else, or you are reading in bad faith on purpose. She is literally a version of Her Imperious Condescension, which is, like, one of the main fucking villains of the comic. Hussie's Avatar is also wrong, and you should hate him. That is the point of Hussie's Avatar. His role in the story is being annoying, weird, and wrong. Hussie's Avatar is not actually very reflective of Hussie as a person. Hussie doesn't like The Avatar. This is pretty obvious if you pay attention to him for five seconds.

So... These aren't instances of the Openbounds being written badly, they're instances of the readers being unwilling to engage with something that could even just potentially be uncomfortable despite that same thing permeating throughout the rest of the damn webcomic and also getting their opinions from other people, uncritically. Sigh. Homestuck being full of weird uncomfortable plot beats is... Literally fine. It's normal, it's handled pretty decently as a baseline, and phenomenally at other times. It's made for adult people who can think critically about these things. A lot of those uncomfortable aspects were... You know... Intentional? There's a point to Meenah creeping on people younger than her, and it's a deliberate one. Skipping the Openbounds for it is stupid horseshit. Doc Scratch already did that. Bro Strider did that to Dave and people love that guy. I ask gently for people to grow a spine. Think for yourself. Read something yourself, unbiased, before casting judgment. Good lord.

[incognit0slut]

Right Kind of Wrong (15)

She ever thought she’d be involved in a murder investigation and encounter her one-night-stand again, the awkward guy who isn’t exactly that good in bed—Or is he? Offended by the sentiment, Spencer is determined to prove her wrong… But as he gets tangled with the beautiful stranger, he realizes there is more to her than what meets the eye.

Part Summary: Spencer is determined to find her whereabouts. wc: 3.5k

Series Warnings: 18+ explicit content, graphic details of murders, mentions of suicide, mentions of SA

A/n: I want to thank everyone for sticking to this series, don’t worry, I didn’t forget it, life has just been weird lately😔 Also I want to mention there’s like 5 parts left? I think

Other parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

"REID, NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT."

Spencer wasn't sure how many times he heard those words. He knew they were told to bring him comfort, something his team members kept on reciting, yet a sense of skepticism gnawed at him. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were nothing more than lies. How could he not when the only thing he could do was blame himself for what happened?

His shoulders slumped, his eyes were filled with anguish, and his heart held a heavy burden of guilt.

He should've deduced the real Unsub.

He should've been the one keeping her safe.

You also should've never left her fucking house, you idiot.

He hated swearing, even if it was in his own mind—which, truthfully, was so much worse considering he despised being trapped in his own head. Possessing a psychology degree enabled him to understand the detrimental effects of being trapped within one's own thoughts, yet he couldn't escape the clutches of his own mind. The knowledge of this predicament weighed heavily on him, a cruel irony that he understood all too well.

"Pretty boy, are you even listening to me?"

He was, he just didn't want to respond. Morgan was the third person to say those words to him. The first came from JJ, who was the first one to assure him when he had a panic attack at the warehouse. Second was from Prentiss, who he met when he rushed to Y/n's house after collecting himself. And now Morgan was cornering him at the hospital as they waited for Sandy, laid in one of the rooms, to recover from her concussion.

"Reid."

"I heard you," he snapped. Then a thought occurred to him at Morgan's sudden knowledge of his involvement with their witness. "How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"The reason why I'm acting this way." He had to elaborate when Morgan merely raised his eyebrows. "Why I'm... blaming myself so much."

"Everyone knows you're involved with her. Heck, I knew it the first time we met her that night. Remember that? You pretended you didn't know her," Morgan recalled. "You weren't as subtle as you think."

God, that night seemed like it happened yesterday. He couldn't believe how much had happened, and to think she was just a stranger when he first met her, a stranger he would never see again... now all he could think about was her. Her smile. Her safety. His stomach churned. The guilt he felt was a relentless, gnawing ache that refused to let go.

Morgan suddenly pulled him. His sudden, determined grip propelled him toward the vending machine stationed at the far end of the hospital corridor. Irritated, he couldn't help but drag his feet along the floor. "What are you doing?"

"You need coffee," Morgan replied, "you function better with caffeine in your system."

"We need to wait for Sandy—"

"She's not going anywhere, Kid. There's no use hovering in front of her door now."

Reluctantly, Spencer gave in. He allowed his friend to pour a cup of coffee; the warmth and aroma offering a small comfort amidst the hospital's stark surroundings. Slowly, with a nod of gratitude, he accepted the cup from his outstretched hand.

"How are you holding up?" Morgan asked.

Spencer took a moment to collect his thoughts before responding to the question. "It's hard to process everything."

A heavy silence hung between them. Morgan's sigh broke the stillness, and he began, "Look, it's not—"

But Spencer cut him off, his voice tinged with guilt and self-blame. "Not my fault?" he said with a mix of frustration and anguish. "Morgan, I was there before it happened. I was at her house before I left to check the warehouse, just to step into his trap. The Unsub managed to pass through Officer Anderson and hurt her closest friend at the same time. If I was still there..."

"Reid, it's not about placing blame. You couldn't have known what would happen. The Unsub's actions were calculated and malicious, even if you had stayed, we can't predict how events would have unfolded." Morgan gave him a pointed look. "Blaming yourself won't help her, and it won't help you either."

Spencer's head shook with regret as he leaned against the cool hospital wall, his thoughts consumed by the painful memories of that night. "I hurt her," he confessed, his voice filled with remorse. "My words were hurtful, and so were my actions, and the thought of... the thought of her being in danger with the last thought of me—"

"We'll find her," Morgan assured him. "And when we do, you'll apologize to her for whatever happened."

Spencer gazed at him with a sense of desperation. In that instant, he unearthed a deep, previously unrecognized truth buried within his heart. It was a stark revelation, an understanding that struck him like a bolt of lightning amidst the storm of emotions he was weathering.

For the first time, he comprehended the true extent of his feelings. Until now, her presence in his life had been a catalyst, a spur-of-a-moment he never expected. He had taken her warmth for granted, never fully appreciating the depth of his attachment to her.

However, the threat to her safety had shattered his complacency. The fear of losing her, coupled with the regret of leaving their last interaction on such a bitter note, had awakened a realization within him. It hit him with a force that was as terrifying as it was enlightening. It was a moment of clarity, a realization that his feelings were far more significant than he had ever allowed himself to admit.

"You really like her, don't you?"

Spencer looked up, but before he could respond, his brief moment of vulnerability was abruptly interrupted by a sudden commotion. Without a second thought, he hastily left his coffee on a nearby chair and rushed toward the end of the hallway, Morgan following closely behind, as a doctor rushed into Sandy's room.

Between the flurry of medical staff, Spencer spotted a passing nurse and stepped into her line of vision. His voice was urgent, laced with concern as he asked, "What happened?"

The nurse delivered the news, "She's gaining consciousness," before swiftly disappearing into the room.

"We'll get some answers," Morgan reassured him from behind. "Don't worry, Reid, we'll find her."

Spencer nodded, his heart filled with a renewed sense of determination. The fact that Sandy had woken up was a glimmer of hope. It wasn't until a few minutes later the doctor emerged from the room, regarding the two men waiting in front of the door.

"She's awake and stable, but we'll need to monitor her for any potential complications." After a brief pause, the doctor continued, "It's apparent that she's still quite shaken. I would recommend that only one of you Agents speak with her."

They both nodded in agreement as the doctor left. Morgan turned toward Spencer. "You should talk to her."

He hesitated for a moment. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Morgan confirmed. "I'll go check on Oliver in the meantime."

Spencer's thoughts swirled with unease at the mention of Oliver, their suspected Unsub who had turned out to be a pawn in a larger scheme, who was lying unconscious on another floor. He nodded, and as Morgan walked away, he slowly gathered himself and entered the room.

Stark, white walls greeted him as he stepped inside, followed by the beeping sound of the monitors rhythmically punctuating the silence. Sandy lay in the bed, a fragile figure amidst the pristine white sheets. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling as he called out to her.

"Sandy?" Spencer carefully addressed her, observing the way she shifted on the bed before her gaze slowly met his. "I'm Dr. Spencer—"

"Reid," she finished for him, locking her gaze onto his with a surprising familiarity. "You're the FBI agent she's been talking about."

A moment of surprise shot through him, the realization that she had been talking about him caught him off guard. "She told you about me?"

"On a few occasions," she confessed, and then her gaze sharpened as she looked at him. "You hurt her."

Spencer's heart sank deeper, a heavy burden of guilt weighing him down. "What did she say?"

"She never really told us why she looked so sad that night, and considering you were mostly the topic of conversation when I was with her, I just assumed you had something to do with her mood swings."

His guilt deepened, yet he couldn't help but notice Sandy's choice of words. "Us? You both weren't alone?"

Sandy's gaze held a mixture of curiosity and concern. "What happened?" she pressed instead, her brows furrowing. "What happened after I passed out?"

Spencer took a hesitant step closer to the bed. "What do you remember?"

"I remember inhaling something disgusting."

He nodded gravely. "We suspect the Unsub used Chloroform on you."

Sandy's furrowed brow reflected both her confusion and unease. "What's an Unsub?"

"Unknown Subject, it's a term used when we haven't yet identified a suspect in a crime."

A heavy silence enveloped the room as Sandy absorbed the information. Her thoughts churned, and a growing sense of unease gnawed at her. A thought suddenly hit her. She glanced around the room, her anxiety mounting in the absence of her friend.

The question escaped her lips with an anxious edge to her voice. "Where's Y/n?"

Sandy didn't like the expression that crossed Spencer's face. It was a look that confirmed her worst suspicions, and a wave of dread washed over her as she braced herself for what he was about to say.

"We don't have that information," Spencer confessed, and the shock in her widened eyes was unmistakable. Her lips quivered as her thoughts raced, grappling with the gravity of the situation. She found herself haunted by guilt that this had somehow happened because of her.

"It's my fault," she whispered, her voice a mere breath, but the weight of her confession carried regret.

Spencer now understood what Morgan meant about avoiding self-blame. "It's not your fault," he reiterated. "Listen, there's no use in blaming yourself, what you can do is help us by recalling what you remembered that night."

Sandy's gaze remained troubled, but she eventually opened up about what had transpired, something he didn't see coming.

"I- It was Eric," she admitted, her voice trembling with the admission. "Eric came with me to her house."

Spencer was struck by shock and disbelief, his mind racing to process this revelation.

"Eric Adler?"

She nodded in confirmation, and his world collapsed.

Spencer wasn't perfect. He knew that, like anyone else, he could make mistakes. Typically, he accepted his humanity and the occasional errors that came with it. However, now was not the time for him to make any mistakes, not when her life hung on the line.

He felt like a complete idiot. He was renowned for his intellect and now it seemed as if his stupidity was mocking him. The realization of his own oversight infuriated him and a storm of anger surged through his veins. He was mad at himself, seething with frustration. He hastily fished out his phone and sent a message to Garcia.

Find everything you can on Eric Adler. Now.

Turning his gaze back to Sandy, his features shifted to a more grave demeanor. The urgency in his voice was palpable.

"Tell me everything you know."

Her head was spinning. Y/n groaned at the relentless ache throbbing inside her head. It felt as though a sledgehammer was pounding her skull, every throb sending ripples of pain through her. Her body felt heavy, each limb an effort to move, and her eyelids seemed to be fused.

She managed to shift, and it was at that moment, as her fingers brushed against the coarse bedcover, that she realized she was lying on what appeared to be a bed. The mattress beneath her was surprisingly comfortable, a stark contrast to the chaos inside her head. She shifted again, and after countless attempts, she finally managed to blink her eyes open.

"Took you long enough, Sleeping Beauty."

The voice sent a jolt of panic surging through her, eyes widening as she strained to focus on her surroundings. The room was shrouded in darkness, save for the faint, flickering glow of an old lamp perched on top of a crate. Occasional beams of moonlight pierced through the dusty window panes, casting eerie, uneven patterns on the wooden floor.

The unmistakable scent of hay filled her senses, reinforcing the realization that she was in an old, rustic barn, long past its days of use. The walls, rough and weathered, seemed to close in on her, the space surprisingly narrow with the mattress beneath her positioned by the floor.

But that wasn't what surprised her the most. It was Eric, seated on a wooden chair that had clearly seen better days, watching her intensely with a smile on his face.

"If you hadn't woke up earlier, I would have resorted to my own methods," his smile looked even more ominous. "And I can assure you, you wouldn't have liked it."

Her wide eyes remained fixed on him. What happened to her kind coworker? Or her good friend? This was an entirely different man that she knew of. The eerie smile, so out of place in their past interactions, was etched onto his face like a sinister mask.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he pondered, leaning forward, his voice carrying an unsettling calmness. In his hand, she now realized, was a glinting knife, pointed at her way. "It's just me, Y/n, I'm no stranger to you."

He wasn't a stranger then, but he certainly was now. She stared at him, a creeping realization dawning as she slowly sat up, her fingers brushing against something cold and unyielding, and her heart sank.

"I wouldn't move too much if I were you."

Her eyes moved to the chain holding her, the metal bolted securely into the wall. It was a thick, unforgiving shackle, the links rough against her skin, the very sight of it sent shivers down her spine. Fear took a firm hold of her, like a vice squeezing her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She trembled, her voice shaking as she finally managed to speak, "W-Why are you doing this?"

"You're seriously questioning me when you should be thanking me instead?"

Her voice wavered as she responded, her fear making way for a touch of anger. "Thanking you for what? Murdering people?"

"They weren't innocent,” he spat, his anger flaring as he glared at her. "You should know better than to act as if you didn't want them dead."

"I didn't," she assured him.

"You resented them."

She let out a shaky breath. "...maybe, but I would never wish any of them harm." Then she choked out, "Why are you doing this, Eric?"

His features softened, his gaze locked onto hers as he leaned closer. "You really want to know the reason?" He held her gaze with a disturbing tenderness as he whispered, "Because I love you, Sweetheart."

Her heart pounded as his words hung in the air. "No, you don't," she quickly responded, her voice laced with a mixture of fear and disbelief. "If you did, you wouldn't have—"

"I said," he pressed on, the knife still pointing toward her, his eyes locked onto hers with an eerie intensity. "Because I love you."

She knew it was best not to provoke someone holding a knife. Instead, she carefully asked, her voice trembling, "Since when?"

"Ever since you started working with us," he replied with a smile that felt more disconcerting than affectionate. "You've always been very special to me."

"Why... why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, I was scared of rejection, I guess. You never took any interest in me, and surprisingly I was fine with that, so the only way I could care for you was to be your friend." He grinned, his smile devoid of any warmth. "And kill people who hurt you, of course."

Tears welled up in her eyes, spilling over and streaming down her face. Her trembling lips caught them, the taste of her own despair lingering on her tongue, a bitter flavor that seemed to confine the darkness of the moment.

"Oh, stop crying. They were never good enough for you," he chided. He got up and started to pace in front of her, his words steeped in a delusional justification for his actions. "Your scumbag of an ex? He should've seen it coming. That pervert of a lawyer? Should've cut him into pieces. And Jamison? Well, I honestly think I was doing a favor for everyone who hated him."

He gazed at her with a mixture of pity and disdain as she continued to cry, his expression an eerie blend of false sympathy. "Don't worry, I didn't kill them all..." He let out a sigh. "I took pity on Oliver."

"W-What did you do to him?" She cried, her voice breaking with a mix of fear and desperation.

"Gave him a few stabs, but nothing too serious," he replied casually, waving the knife through the air as if discussing a minor inconvenience. "He'll be fine."

Her heart sank at his callous response. "I thought you grew up together."

"I lied about not being close with him the other day, you know? We were best friends, actually. But that's another story to tell," he admitted, his words revealing a chilling aspect of his twisted psyche. He then glared at her, a mix of frustration and hostility in his eyes. "You seriously need to stop looking at me like that. I spared him, it was only a few stabs."

Anger surged within her, ignited by his disturbingly casual demeanor, and she found herself unable to suppress her mounting fury any longer. "You're fucking sick," she spat.

He took a step forward, his eyes narrowing as he loomed closer. "You shouldn't talk to me like that," he emphasized, pointing the knife at her once more. "You're chained to the wall, I could do anything to you."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm the erratic beat of her heart, though the horror still gripped her like a vice. Her face was etched with a stark, unmistakable expression of fear and disbelief. He rolled his eyes.

"Don't act so scared now, I won't do anything—well, not now, at least," he stated with a laugh, taking a step back, as if he were granting her some temporary respite. "For now... I have yet to finish my vengeance for you."

"V- Vengeance? You think of them as vengeance?" She asked in disbelief. "Oliver didn't even hurt me."

"He kept pestering you when you clearly weren't interested in him, he needed a little lesson," he explained, a chilling justification in his tone. Then he narrowed his eyes at her. "But there is one person who has hurt you recently, and I think we both know who that is."

His words hung in the air like a dark cloud, filling her with a growing sense of dread. Her eyes widened, her voice heavy with desperation. "No! Eric, no, please, don't hurt him—"

"He's not good for you, Y/n. He never will be."

"Eric! Please!" She was beginning to wail, her pleas filled with anguish and despair, as she felt the walls of her world closing in on her. The chains rattled ominously when she moved. "Please..."

"I need to punish him, Sweetheart, he hurt you," he said with a chilling detachment. He gave her a pitiful look. "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows."

"Please—Please don't, Eric," She pleaded desperately, her voice shaking with an overwhelming fear. "No..." She shook her head and sobbed, "Don't h-hurt him... please..."

Her pleas fell on deaf ears, and the disturbing determination in his gaze made it clear that he had made up his mind. He turned around, leaving her in a state of helpless dread. "I'll see you later," he added with a sinister remark. "Don't cry too much while I visit your FBI boyfriend."

As he walked away, the barn's shadows seemed to close in around her. She did exactly the opposite—she relentlessly cried herself to sleep, seeking solace in the safety of her dreams, however fleeting, as she yearned for an end to this nightmare that had somehow become her reality.

>> NEXT PART

a/n: y'all can stop cursing poor Oliver now😭

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[yanderes-galore]

Scenario with platonic yandere Itachi and a daughter darling he never knew about? Like, maybe he was yandere for her mother too and she escaped, gave birth in secret, and then the two of them meet for the first time years later on not so friendly terms.

Sure! Just letting everyone know I am not finished Naruto so I apologize if I get Itachi's character wrong in anyway. I watched a "The Life Of..." video and made the plot of this take place at any time.

A/N: UGH, Now I really want to see an interaction of Itachi's Daughter and Sasuke meeting!!! They'd probably be the Itachi hate club, ngl. "We collectively want this guy dead" kinda vibe.

Sins of The Father

Yandere! Platonic! Itachi Uchiha with Daughter! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Guilt, Lucid yandere, Manipulation, Angst, Itachi was yandere for your mother, Slight mature themes, Overprotective behavior, Kidnapping implied, Forced relationship (Your mother)/companionship (You).

Itachi had a feeling you wouldn't like him when he met you. He's a man who has done many hurtful things to those he loves in order to protect them. He really should've stayed at a distance and continued to observe others without interfering.

But your mother had driven him mad.

Itachi had once had a girlfriend before his many sins, yet when she passed he had found a new love. Your mother had managed to catch Itachi's heart. Even though he should've stayed away...

He couldn't.

He always wanted the best for her. He wanted to protect and love your mother. He wanted a family, to be her one and only.

He had even gotten close to the point of bedding her, a guilty pleasure he knew he shouldn't have indulged in. However, he and your mother were originally in love. He loved every second of it...

Then she learned the truth.

Your mother had learned he slaughtered his original clan. That he was a criminal. No matter how much he promised to protect her, to love her, she hated him.

But he kept her to himself no matter what.

Itachi felt bad deep down. It was a similar feeling to when he had to leave Sasuke to his own devices. Those he loved resented him... that was his curse.

He promised your mother the world. It was as though Itachi was searching for redemption within your mother. Unfortunately, while she loved him once...

She'd never love him again.

One day after a mission he came home to see her gone. His love had run from him, yet Itachi didn't give chase. He knew it was probably for the best. Even if his heart ached it was probably deserved.

Years pass by and Itachi feels his heart clench. He's stoic but he can't help it when he sees a mirror of his love in front of him. You have such angry eyes...

Your hate reminds him of Sasuke....

Itachi couldn't bring himself to fight you. Even after all of his sins he stays a pacifist. He just knows you're the daughter of his love.

Itachi wishes he knew his love was pregnant. He knows she never would've told him, yet he would want to help you the best he can to grow. However... without any of his help...

You stand in front of him, a strong Kunoichi, a dangerous hate burning in your eyes.

When you attack and he defends, Itachi can see your eyes clearly. At some point in your life you had even received your Sharingan. His heart throbbed for a moment, you really were his daughter...

Yet your mother was most likely deceased.

He stuck to the defensive when you attacked him. You had to have known you were related. Your mother must have told you about him....

He couldn't tell if you were attacking him because he was Akatsuki or because he was your father. It didn't seem to matter to you. He could tell from your rage you just wanted him gone.

It hurts... yet he's used to it.

He hates that you had to meet like this. Even when he wasn't around you, he still managed to harm someone he loved. For that reason... you don't deserve anymore pain.

Itachi was careful to only use Genjutsu when fighting you. He knew he should run from you, silence his emotions and leave. Although... you wouldn't let him leave...

He didn't want to leave you either.

Itachi whittled down your strength slowly. Even though you were his daughter, your power could not compare to his. He wondered if you ever met Sasuke... or what you both would do if you ever did....

When Itachi sensed your strength leave you, he made things quick. The older Uchiha is quicker than you, restraining you with a mix of tools and Genjutsu. He can see your eyes widen, trying your best to read him. You may even fear death.

Only for Itachi to find himself tugging the restraints to pull you closer.

He can see you freeze when he holds your face up, looking into your eyes. He observes your Sharingan, a thoughtful gaze in his eyes. Then... a ghost of a smile is on his face.

"I'm sorry we never properly met." He sighs, "Your hate for me is justified, In fact you'd get along with my brother just fine."

You stare at the older Uchiha, he can see your hate simmer for a moment. He sighs softly, releasing his grip on your chin to sit beside you. You're all he has to remember his love by....

"I never meant to harm you or your mother." Itachi admits, pain evident in his eyes. He's slowly dying yet life still managed to give him you. "I wish I could've been a father to you... I'd love you forever."

He finds himself tapping your forehead, amused at how tired and shocked you look.

"In fact..." He whispers, ignoring the ache in his heart. "I love you now. That will never change."

"You don't know me." You hiss, snake venom in your tone.

"I know..." Itachi murmurs. "But I loved your mother."

"I'm not her. She didn't love you." You respond back, Itachi going silent. He wasn't delusional. He knew you spoke the truth.

But he hugged you anyway, even if you hated it.

"I'm glad I met you." Itachi sighs, proud of you even if he only ever hurt you. "You're all I have to remember what I could've had."

You almost feel bad for him. Itachi didn't cry, but his tone was depressing. You could barely believe you were related....

Before you're able to say anything else, be that something spiteful or genuine... Itachi knocks you out. He makes it quick, carefully catching you when you slump against him in your restraints. Itachi is a man of many sins...

Yet he couldn't leave you... not when you brought up memories of more pleasant times.

"I'm sorry..." He apologizes to your limp body, holding you close. "Please allow me to stay like this a bit longer, my daughter."

It's then Itachi stays still, embracing you tightly...

If only things were different... if only he didn't hurt all those he loved.

If only he stayed away from your mother.

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

[kyouka-supremacy]

In vol 13, at the end of chapter 52, Akutagawa says to Atsushi "...Hmph. Nothing special about that. I suppose he's far crueler than my own mentor."

If you don't mind, I'd like to know what is your take on its meaning

THANK YOU, I love this ask. I think that little line is so so meaningful, because it gives us additional insight on what Akutagawa and Dazai's relationship is like and on Akutagawa’s feelings towards Dazai. There’s so much nuance to it, because it makes Akutagawa aware. So often in fancontent Akutagawa is completely oblivious to Dazai's abuse, utterly blinded to Dazai's cruelness. But he's not!!! He's not!!! And it's suchhhh an eye-opener line about his character. Because, you know what? Akutagawa actually understands Dazai deeply. Way more than one would guess upon first impression. And the reason of that is because Akutagawa and Dazai are ultimately similar: they're both the “doing evil” to Atsushi and Chuuya's “doing good”¹.

Akutagawa comes close to understanding Dazai: I think during the time they spent together in the pm he got intimately acquainted with a side of Dazai no one else knows, for better or worse. I even think that since Dazai thought so lowly of Akutagawa, he didn't spare the same effort for putting masks on for him as much as he did with everyone else; as consequence, Akutagawa ended up seeing sides of Dazai that Dazai rarely revealed to other people. And I'm not talking exclusively about bad sides, but also vulnerable sides, fecets that overall he doesn't usually let emerge.

This mutual understanding - and isn't that a surprising sentence by its own! The understanding is mutual, doesn't go only in one direction, Akutagawa actually understands Dazai plenty – comes from a similarity between the two that, I've said many times before, is likely source to Dazai's otherwise unexplained cruelness towards Akutagawa. In Akutagawa's dark, bottomless, empty eyes, Dazai sees his own, and he utterly hates how Akutagawa embodies everything that's despicable in himself, the same emptiness, the same void. In the end, they both want to find a reason to live, while also being highly suicidal.

When I say “understands”; it's not about understanding what goes through Dazai's mind (that would be, for comparison, what Dostoyevsky gets closer to do); for Akutagawa it's a more instinctive understanding induced by their closeness, their similarity, their sharing the same sentiment of struggle in finding an explanation for the act of existing. The “can you give me a reason to live” from The Heartless Cur that counts for the both of them.

They're the same, and that's how Akutagawa can get Dazai, deeply. That line reveals exactly that! “Dazai is plenty cruel himself”. Akutagawa knows Dazai isn't a good man; but that's a separate thing from wanting his approval. It's not only this line; this understanding Dazai of Akutagawa is, I believe, reiterated consistently (if subtly) in the manga. It's in “You know [what mafia is like] better than anyone else” from chapter 4 and it's in “It'd take more than that to kill the man” from chapter 35 and it's in the way he talks about Dazai in chapter 51. It's in “There's no way you're dead. You are somewhere here in Yokohama. I just know it.” from the Entrance Exam light novel. When in Dead apple he says that Dazai joined the enemy, he's wrong; but if you ask me, that shows how Akutagawa understands the potential of the darkness within Dazai's soul better than Atsushi (but at the same time fails to see the possible goodness in him, because Port Mafia Dazai is what Akutagawa has ever known). I feel like all these moments are symptomatic of Akutagawa understanding Dazai on a level that's way deeper than others.

TL;DR: That line is so important to understand the depth of Dazai and Akutgawa's relationship because it shows how much Akutagawa gets Dazai, making of Akutagawa a much more cognizant character when it comes to Dazai than what one may think!

More on Akutagawa and Dazai's relationship: (1) (2) (3)

¹ Chuuya is the good half of the skk duo. It's just that whereas Atsushi does good in a more general sense, Chuuya's acting is mostly lead by willingness to do what's good for the Port Mafia. Still, both Atsushi and Chuuya act on way more altruistic basis than Akutagawa and Dazai do, am I wrong?

[daughterofcain-67]

𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔰 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔦𝔠

(Dean Winchester x Female Reader)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: It’s the month of love and you were already over the idea of couples and relationships, especially since your last relationship turned out to be a disaster. Due to the guilt you felt over the breakup you find yourself hesitant to open up to the idea that you may be in love with a certain hunter you shared a home with in the Bunker. But when a case dealing with witches causes you to question certain things, it’s up to you to figure out your feelings for Dean and find out if they were truly genuine unlike your last mistake.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: This is my very first smut and it will be at the end of the case. It’s just something fluffy since Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Minors DNI, no matter how low-quality the content may be. If you don’t like this kind of content then politely skip this oneshot…Cannon level violence, fingering, love making, Dean being the sweetest man in existence. I hope you all enjoy~

It was already February and you dreaded Valentine’s Day which was coming up rather quickly. Tomorrow, actually. Everyone around you was so hyper focused on romantic relationships, one night stands, and you knew you would be single yet again.

Sam would be going off with Eileen and they had plans to go see some sort of show then go to dinner and spend the night in a hotel room. Adorable plans, yeah, but you still didn’t see the hype when they could do that on any random weekend. Then there was Jody meeting up with some man that her two girls set her up with because they wanted her to get out more. Dean you were positive would be out for some one-night stand to feed into his libido. You, however, you’d likely be spending the night in the bunker alone.

It was by choice, really. Ever since you broke up with your last boyfriend, you didn’t want to take the chance of going out again. You’d rather stay single for eternity than for anyone to get hurt in the event a relationship didn’t work out.

Your ex was named James, and he was the sweetest guy. He treated you well, respected you, even spoiled you every once in a while. You both had many fun times together but something just didn’t sit right with you, you didn’t see yourself spending your life with him. You didn’t see a marriage with him. When you broke the news, he took it a little hard but he respected your decision.

There was no drama and you were lucky it wasn’t an ugly break up, but the idea of him being hurt ate at you constantly because you felt like you got into that relationship for the wrong reasons. You were simply thrilled to finally find a man that loved you, but you didn’t stop and consider if your own feelings for James was genuine.

You felt so guilty for leading James on, you felt guilty for wasting his time in a relationship even if it was a short relationship - merely four months. Sam and Dean were there for you when you returned to the Bunker after the breakup and they knew how hard it was for you because you felt like James didn’t deserve for his heart to be broken like that.

Now it’s been four years since you’ve broken up with James, and from what you saw on social media he was a lot happier and he moved on to another girlfriend, someone who returned the same feelings he had. He found a woman he really deserved.

But why couldn’t you move on?

Within these past several years, you’ve not had a fling. There were no rebounds, one-night stands, no drunken mistakes, no other boyfriends. You felt like ever since you broke one person’s heart, you were unable to find yourself in another relationship. You didn’t want to bring anybody that kind of hurt again, so you never really moved on even if you knew that James had and he was happy. You were happy for him of course, but you couldn’t really explain how you felt.

The heart was such a delicate thing sometimes and you hated it.

Dean was supportive of you though. He knew better than anyone what unnecessary guilt felt like, and when Sam would try to cheer you up it typically didn’t work. Right after the breakup, Dean was there to listen. He didn’t do much talking since he usually didn’t feel the way you did when he broke things off with girls. The only breakup he ever experienced that effected him the most was Lisa, and he never talked about her or Ben after it happened. But that was the one he would use as an example because there were times he would feel guilty of getting them into trouble just by knowing them. So he would often tell you that you did the right thing by breaking things off because James was no hunter, he would have had no idea what he was up against so in a way, you were protecting more than his heart. You were protecting his life, and in a way it made you feel a little less guilty.

You were lucky he was there for you to rant to even if he didn’t like talking about things like that. You found that it was easy to talk to Dean. Much easier than having a conversation with Sam. It was just a different chemistry with Dean and you felt like Dean seemed to understand where you were coming from.

So the past three Valentine’s days you were either drinking alone, having some sort of marathon in your room, or reading some books. This year you decided to just go on a hunt. After all, Valentine’s Day was just another day for singles right? Might as well work and do what you did the best.

Presently, you were in the library with your laptop in front of you as you looked for any suspicious articles and headlines that would be strange and maybe even your kind of thing. For the past thirty minutes or so, you were coming up with nothing. Everything that you saw looked like just simple robberies, typical murder cases that didn’t have anything suspicious to them in the articles. You were starting to lose the hope that you would actually end up finding anything, but that was when something finally caught your attention.

In Grand Island, Nebraska, there were reports of couples going missing. It didn’t matter if they were tourists or locals, but within the past three months, six couples have gone missing. To you that sounded like a lot. Two couples a month disappearing out of nowhere? That may have sounded suspicious and you wanted to do a little more digging. Just as you were looking into the names of the couples that went missing, you heard footsteps.

“Whatcha workin’ on?”

You didn’t need to glance behind you to know that Dean was the one roaming around the library. You heard him move a chair so he could sit in front of you and through your peripheral you saw he set down a mug of coffee. So you knew he may stay for a little while so you might as well discuss the case with him.

“I’m looking into a case. It sounds something that could be our kind of thing.” You answered, not lifting your gaze because you were still trying to find more evidence that could hint at a hunt.

“You care to share?”

“Hang on, I’m looking… What I’m gathering is that in Nebraska there have been a total of six couples within the last three months that have gone missing. To me that sounds like a lot and their bodies were never found. Two of the couples were tourists but the rest seemed to be local. I haven’t found anything yet that would make it seem even more like our thing, but I think I want to go anyway.” You admitted.

“To be fair, we’ve gone on hunts with a lot less than what you’ve found. You want some company on this one?”

“You aren’t planning on going out for Valentines Day?” You asked with a bit of surprise and Dean chuckled a little.

“Around here? No. Not this year. A hunt might do me some good since Sam’s not gonna be here anyway. Plus I can go to the bar anytime. I haven’t had a hunt in the past week and I’d rather not get out of practice.” He insisted and you smiled.

“I’d love it if you were company. I guess it could be good for the both of us.” You smiled and you pulled out your phone to put in the city so you could look into some reasonable hotels you and Dean could stay in while you were in Nebraska. Then you shut off the computer.

“I’ll meet you in the garage in a few minutes. I need to go pack a few things.” You said.

Dean smiled at you and he watched you jog up the stairs so you could pack and get ready for Nebraska.

Naturally, Dean didn’t want you to go on a hunt alone. To him it was better to hunt with a partner, to have someone have your back just incase something went wrong. That’s why he preferred hunting with Sam. Nowadays, Dean only hunted alone as a last resort. He supposed it was just his preference and sort of a precaution as well since he didn’t want anything to happen to you on the hunt. He’d rather you make it back in one piece.

He knew you hated Valentine’s Day, and you got so irritated with couples so easily this time of year. But he hated that you seemed to be punishing yourself over the James thing. It was unfair to you. Maybe one day you would understand that, but he didn’t think it would be anytime soon.

Dean got up and he took the last couple of sips of his coffee before he went back to the kitchen and put the mug in the sink before he started heading off into his room so he could go ahead and get dressed and pack up for the trip. He swiftly got changed into a pair of jeans that were clean enough for the trip, tossed on one of his many black t-shirts and he threw on a flannel and a jacket. Then he grabbed some extra clothes and shoved them into a bag that had an extra blanket for you on the ride since he knew you’d probable get cold in Nebraska.

He grabbed whatever other weapons he thought would be needed, not that the back of Baby’s trunk didn’t have enough artillery, and when he zipped up his bag he walked out of his room so he could make his way out to the garage.

When he made it there he realized you had beat him to the car, waiting for him to unlock the vehicle. Your hair was in a messy bun, a few strands were in your face no matter how many times you tried to pull those pieces back. You were dressed in one of his old band shirts that was shrunk because Sam put it in the dryer by mistake so it was too small for Dean. It suited you much better anyway, but maybe he was a little biased.

Okay, more than just a little biased.

It wasn’t his fault you were so damn beautiful! And it wasn’t his fault that over the past few years you were beginning to rock his world. You made it so easy for him to fall for, despite all of his efforts not to fall so hard.

You were the only person that understood him in a way that Sam didn’t seem to understand him. You were there to listen when he would go off on his rants, you were his voice of reason when he was opposed to Sam and you made it a little easier to be open minded when it came to a lot of the cases that he and Sam didn’t agree on. You kept him steady and level headed and he knew that he needed you in his corner. He hadn’t realized just how much he started to rely on you until about a year ago when you had a close call on a hunt when a shifter took you and nearly killed you.

“That didn’t take you long at all.” Dean said with a chuckle, but he knew you were pretty quick when it came to packing anyway.

“I already had a bag prepped. I just needed to throw in some last minute things that I didn’t want to forget about. Like toothbrushes and stuff like that.” You shrugged and Dean grinned while simultaneously rolling his eyes.

“Hop in already before we lose daylight.” He said and he unlocked the door, then the two of you hopped in.

When Dean started up the car, Rush’s Xanadu was playing through the speakers and he turned up the volume a little as he drove off so the two of you could begin your journey. He knew it would only be a matter of hours before you would arrive and lucky for him, you had the same tastes in music as he did, so it wasn’t like driving with Sam where he would complain the whole time the music played.

About three minutes into the ten minute song, he could see you through the peripheral tapping your fingers on your thigh as if it were the guitar strings being played. He knew if he had seatbelts in the car you’d probably use it as the neck of the guitar. He thought you were just adorable that way but never said anything out loud. But for now while you were strumming the imaginary strings on your thigh with one hand, your other was on the phone.

“What are you lookin’ up?”

“Just some hotels in the surrounding area. I figured it would be easier if I found one and called it in now rather than just showing up spontaneously.” You answered and he hummed a little.

“Find anything good?”

“Well I found one that’s actually pretty close to the police station. So that pretty much takes care of saving some drive time. Won’t have to wander around and figure out where it’s at.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. We can go with that one.” Dean said, honestly not really caring about which one they went to. use as long as they would make it to one. But it wouldn’t be his first time sleeping in his beloved car if it came to that point.

“Holy cow! Why are hotels this expensive?!” He heard you exclaim and he chuckled.

“Did you forget what tomorrow was, Sweetheart? Prices are gonna be a bit higher because a bunch of couples are gonna be bumpin’ uglies.” Dean laughed at the way you scrunched your nose and you called the number on your phone so you could make the arrangements to stay in the hotel.

Several hours had gone by and Dean pulled up to the hotel you’d booked. When he glanced over at you, he saw you were snuggled up in the blanket he grabbed. He was glad he remembered it, and he hated to wake you up but you both had a job to do. So, Dean carefully placed his hand on your shoulder to nudge you a little.

“Y/N? We’re here.” You grumbled in response and slowly opened your eyes, squinting as you looked around your surroundings.

When you tossed off the blanket you handed it to him and he just tossed it in the back for the next time you’d need it on the car ride back home. The two of you got out of the car and checked into the hotel so you could at least out your things away and stretch your legs a bit.

“Did you see the police station while you were driving?” Dean heard you question, to which he nodded.

“Yeah, it’s like two minutes away. Why don’t we go ahead and get dressed in the Fed suits and see what the police have come up with on the files.” He suggested as you rubbed your eyes, still trying to wake up from the nap.

“Sounds good to me.” You replied as you grabbed your bags and headed off to the bathroom to change clothes.

You dressed up in your black pantsuit, a purple buttoned up shirt with a couple of the buttons undone and you let your hair down from it’s bun from earlier. To your surprise, your hair was actually working with you after your nap. At least it made getting out of the hotel a little easier since you usually wore your hair down as a fed or detective wannabe.

Dean was dressed in a dark grey suit, white shirt and a tie with a random design on it. You swore you needed to take him shopping for different ties one of these days, but that would have to be a later occasion since the two of you were already in the car on the way to the station.

Arriving only a couple of minutes later since traffic was surprisingly light, you and Dean got out of the car and started making your way inside and went to the front desk.

“Hello there, if you don’t mind we’d like to talk to the Chief of the department.” You said and the secretary looked at both you and Dean. Although she took a bit of a lingering look at Dean, which gave you the overwhelming urge to roll your eyes but you had to resist.

“And who are the two of you? I only have to ask because I can’t just let anybody in. The chief is a busy man.” The secretary said and still had yet to peel her eyes off the other hunter, making your jaw tighten.

Dean pulled out his FBI badge and you did the same, “I’m special Agent Lifeson and this is Agent McVie. We’re here in regards to the disappearances. Do you think you could be a Doll and go ahead and squeeze us in? I know a guy like him is busy, so are we.”

Dean must’ve known this little secretary thought he was attractive because with a little wink he gave, she was more than ready to pick up the phone and press the number to the chief’s office while her cheeks were dusted with pink.

“Oh give me a break.” You mumbled as you put your badge away.

“Sir? There are a couple of suits here that would like to speak with you.” She said and with a little nod she concluded the short call and hung up the phone before looking up at Dean again.

“He’ll be out to see you in a couple of moments.” She said.

“Thank you, Miss…?”

“Oh, just call me Maura.”

“Well thank you, Maura, for the help.” Dean said and after what felt like ages to you, the Chief showed up.

“You two must be my surprise visitors. The name’s Korsak. What can I do for the both of you?” He asked, and to your surprise he was rather friendly.

“Actually, we’re here to discuss the disappearance of those six couples over the past three months.” You heard Dean reply and Korsak knew exactly what he was talking about.

“So the suits finally caught wind of this one, huh? Come with me.” He said and he invited the both of you to his office for further discussion of the case.

When the three of you made it into the office, you all had taken your seats, you and Dean were of course in front of the Chief’s desk as he sat down. You watched as the officer opened up his drawer and opened up his copy of the file and placed it on the desk.

“This case has all my detectives stumped. The only connection we’ve been able to establish so far was that they were couples. When we check our servailence, we did happen to notice the last time all of our missing couples were last seen on Mainstreet, which is basically where all of our little shops are. Lots of couples have been going there in December, and that was when the first disappearance happened. January has been a little slow, no disappearances to note. But then this month it started back up again. Three of the six couples were kidnapped just this month alone.”

You and Dean looked at each other, knowing you both would have to check Mainstreet. Then you looked back at the Cheif, “Could we go ahead and take a look at the surveillance you captured?”

The chief pulled out some pictures from the footage and handed them to both you and Dean. All of the buildings in the surrounding area seemed pretty old, some needed maybe a new coat of paint or a power was, but one thing caught your eye. One of the businesses that one of the couples were seen leaving seemed pretty new. They had new paint on the door and on the windows, the sign for the business seemed new too.

“Chief Korsak, what can you tell me about this business?” You questioned and pointed at the picture.

“Oh that? That’s just some crystal shop. I don’t get why people get so interested in rocks… my daughter went in there before. She likes those crystals and dream catchers and stuff. It just opened up in November of last year.” He said and you nodded a little as you took a look at the business again.

“Is there anything you can tell us about the case? Was there anything left behind in their homes when you tried to do a wellness check in their homes or hotels they were staying in?” Dean asked as if he were searching for a little more of a lead that would give you more of a reason for this to be a hunting gig.

“Well, we did notice something a little weird but we didn’t think that much of it at first.” The chief said and he began to clear his throat.

“We didn’t put it in the file, but we did find some orchid colored substance. It wasn’t enough to bag it, but when one of our CSI members tried to sample it, it turned clear and didn’t show up in our systems. We have no clue what it could have been.”

“Gotcha.. If that’s everything, I think we’ll be off and talk to those business owners and see if they saw anything. Thanks for everything.” Dean said as he got up, then he leaned over to shake Chief Korsak’s hand.

You stood up as well and you handed him your card, “If there’s anything else you can think of, please don’t hesitate to let us know.”

And with that, the two of you left the station and went back to the car. When you got inside, you tried to wrap your head around this case as best as you could. You heard Dean shut his door and start the car before he spoke.

“So what are you thinking?”

“Witch… Just by the substance. If the substance the cops found didn’t show up as anything, it could be a part of a witch spell to remain undetected.” You answered honestly while Dean started backing out.

“But that many people in a month? Two people in a month, I can see being one witch. Maybe two couples a month depending on how powerful they are. But three couples in barely two weeks? Maybe we’re dealing with more than one witch.” Dean suggested.

“Did you remember the witch killing bullets if we need them?” You asked.

“Of course. They’re sitting in the trunk.” Dean answered and you smiled. Then pulled out your phone to look up that new business on Mainstreet.

“Okay, so the business that the final couple was seen exiting was called Cosmic Treasures. So why don’t we head that way and find out what we can about the owners?” You suggested.

“We could, but what if we ask some of the neighboring shops first? Maybe ask them what they think about the owners of the shop, maybe they saw something or maybe they think it’s a little suspicious?” Dean suggested. It sort of shocked you that he was being surprisingly rational.

“That’s not a bad idea. It gives us sort of a background on them so we know what we’re getting into.” You replied and he drove off to Mainstreet. After a few moments the car was parked and the two of you stepped out again.

You looked around at some of the shops and you tried to decide which one you should go to first.

“Okay, if you take that little candy store, I’ll go to the antique shop.” You said and Dean looked at you.

“What? You don’t trust me to go antiquing?” He asked, faking the offense.

“Considering you like to touch everything and you have a tendency to knock things down, I think you going to the candy store will be the safest option.” You chuckled, causing Dean to pout a little.

“Alright, fine.” He said and the two of you parted ways.

You made your way into the antique shop and the doorbell rang out. Then you heard a voice, you assumed it was the sound of one of the owners.

“Hi there! Welcome in.” A woman said and you followed the voice.

You saw behind a counter, there was a woman that had to be in her sixties. She had Brown hair with some grey in her hair, some glasses on the bridge of her nose but she had a kind look in her eyes.

“Hello there, I’m Agent McVie.” You said and you held up your badge, “Are you the owner of this store by any chance?”

“I am. The name’s Angela O’Riley. How can I help you, Sweetie?”

“I was just wondering if you could tell me a little bit about the owners of Cosmic Treasures?”

“Oh the cute little crystal shop? They’re a sweet little couple. Young and rather eccentric. Despite their alternative lifestyle, I think they’re sweet. May I ask why the FBI is looking into them?” The sweet woman questioned.

“We’re just looking into a couple of missing person’s cases. The last couple was seen exiting their store and we just wanted to ask around and see if anyone has seen anything suspicious.” You admitted and the woman shook her head.

“I wouldn’t consider anything they do suspicious. Just… alternative and unusual. They say they like witchcraft and spells and what not, but I think they’re just some hippies trying to make a living. The wife is talented and she’s the one that actually makes the dream catchers. Beautiful artwork. I’ve actually bought some from her.” Angela said and she held up a finger as a gesture for you to wait a moment as she pulled it out.

She handed it to you so you could take a look at it and you carefully took it from her. It was a black dream catcher with white, grey and blue feathers. You didn’t know much about dreamcatchers, but you knew some of these colors had meaning. “Beautiful craftsmanship. You’re right, she does have a talent.”

“She said something along the lines of the colors bringing healing, peace, protection, hope. It was really sweet of her to make it. She said she wanted it to bring luck for the store since we’ve been a little slow. But I just think it’s wonderful decoration.” The woman said and you handed it back to her.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Agent?” Angela asked and you shook your head a little.

“Are you sure? Maybe I can help you find some sort of gift for a special someone. We have a little bit of everything here, you know.”

“Oh, I don’t really have a special someone…” You said, although you did think of Dean.

“Actually… do you have any knives I can take a look at?”

“Oh of course! Right this way.” Angela guided you to her knife section and you saw all of the different knives with beautiful handles.

“Who made all of these?” You asked.

“Actually, my husband did before he passed away. He was talented as well. He took pride in his work and he would sell pocket knives and different blades here as well for all of the husbands that weren’t really interested in their wives’ antiquing hobbies. Gave the men a little something to occupy their time.” She smiled and you grinned.

“They’re all beautiful.” You said and that was when you saw a certain knife that had some sort of engraving on the handle. The handle itself had different shades of green and you thought it was beautiful with the way the engravings were in gold.

“May I take a look at this one?” You pointed at the one that had your attention in the display case.

“Ahh, yes. That’s a good one. My husband loved that one. It was his favorite, but no one really seemed to like the engravings on it. My husband said it’s supposed to enhance protection. He was a bit superstitious but the customers didn’t see it.” She said and you smiled.

“I’ll take it. It’s perfect.”

“I think your little someone will like it too. You deny it but it’s all over your face.” The woman said and she smiled as she handed it to you.

You didn’t want to argue with the woman, but you couldn’t help but be excited to see Dean’s reaction when he saw this knife. It looked similar to the demon blade they had and you wondered if this could help at all since Angela’s husband was certain it would bring protection.

Once you pulled out your wallet and paid for it, you thanked the woman.

“Good luck on your case, Agent.” She smiled at you and you left the store.

Dean walked into the candy shop called Sugarcane Sweets and saw there was a couple behind the counter. The woman was the one that noticed he walked in first and she went to the front of the counter and gave a warm smile.

“Hello! How can I help you?” She asked, tone about as friendly as Dean would expect a business woman to be.

“Hi there. Are you two the owners of this place?” He asked.

“Yes, we are.” The man said and came up as well. Dean noticed the rings on their fingers and figured they were a married couple.

“Hi, Sir. I’m Agent Lifeson. I was just wondering if I could ask the both of you a couple of questions about one of the neighboring shops.” Dean said.

“Lifeson? As in Alex Lifeson the guitarist?” The man asked and Dean chuckled.

“Rush fan, huh? No relation, unfortunately. But that would be badass.” He admitted and the man smiled.

“Damn, that really would be badass. The name’s Sean Patterson, this is my wife, Jaylah. What can we do for you?”

“Well, Sean, I’m looking into some missing person’s cases and the last couple that went missing around here was visiting Mainstreet. We have reason to believe they were shopping around the area and the last place they were seen was in Cosmic Treasures. I was hoping you two would be able to tell me a little about the owners of the store?” Dean said.

“Oh, you mean Keith and Harper? Oh I don’t think those two would hurt a fly.” Jaylah said.

“The two of them are a little on the eccentric side but I think they just like the aesthetic. I don’t really believe in the voodoo mess they sell. I mean crystals and dreamcatchers? Really? I think they just like the cannabis and hippie lifestyle more than anything. Their rocks are more for decoration than anything.” Sean said with a shrug.

That was when the door opened and when Dean looked over, you were walking through the door.

“Oh, hello there!” Jaylah greeted you with a smile.

“Hello.” You smiled back.

“Mr. and Mrs. Patterson, this is my partner Agent McVie. She’s helping me out on the case.” Dean introduced you.

“We were just telling your partner that Keith and Harper are pretty much harmless. I don’t think they would know anything about these kidnappings you’re looking into.” Sean admitted.

Jaylah was looking at both you and Dean, and Dean wondered what she was thinking about while her husband was explaining the conversation, “You know you two would be a cute little couple.”

Dean blinked a little in surprise at the random statement, “Excuse me?”

“I mean granted if you weren’t working in the same agency. Conflict of interest and what not.” She continued and Dean was still a little flabbergasted by the sudden change in conversation. When Dean glanced at you, he could see a faint rose color appear on your cheeks as you cleared your throat.

“You’ll have to pardon my wife. She likes to play matchmaker. She reads too many romance novels in her spare time.” Sean laughed and you smiled.

“Oh no harm done. Anyway, what else can you tell us? Have any of these missing couples come into that store or any other stores around here that you remember over the last three months?” Dean asked as he pulled out his phone that had some pictures of the missing couples.

“Most of them we do recognize, unfortunately. They’ve come in here sometimes to get a little something to snack on, as do a lot of people around here. We have some tourists that come in here too. Just yesterday we had a group of people coming here and visiting from Colorado stop by. They were visiting family.” Jaylah spoke.

“So you get a lot of people.”

“We do get pretty busy. People around the holidays get a bit of a sweet tooth around Christmas and Valentines Day. January we were about as slow as other businesses around here. People trying to recover from Christmas shopping and all.” Sean replied.

“It really is a shame that those couples went missing. We get a lot of couples all the time just walking around the area as a little date or whatever and we never used to have this problem.” Jaylah said with a frown.

“It’s alright. Unexpected things happen all the time. But please, if there’s anything else you can remember about the couples or where they may have gone, please let us know.” Dean said and he handed them his card that had his number on it.

“Wait a moment, agents.” Jaylah said and she picked up a goodie bag and started putting some freebies inside and she handed the bag to Dean.

“Just a little something to snack on. Good luck on your case.” She smiled and Dean looked inside, his eyes sparkling. What? He couldn’t help the fact that he liked junk food unlike his little brother.

“Thank you, Mrs. Patterson.” He said and you thanked the woman as well before the both of you walked out of the store to go back to the car.

“So what did you find out in the antique store?” Dean asked as he looked through all the goodies. He heard you chuckle, he figured you were watching him go through the candy like a kid.

“About the same thing you did. But apparently Harper has a talent with dreamcatchers. Not that dreamcatchers have anything to do with the case. At least I wouldn’t think so. They aren’t usually linked to missing persons cases are they?” He heard you question and he shook his head.

“No, not usually.”

“Maybe we can do a little research over dreamcatchers and Keith and Harper over something substantial before you devour that candy bag.” Dean chuckled at your comment before he closed up the bag and the two of you got into the car.

You and Dean had changed out of the fed attire and you were back in something more comfortable. For you it was your jeans and a band shirt. You two had done your research and found that there hasn’t been any record of dreamcatchers being linked to kidnapping in any hunting cases. Afterwards, the two of you went to ask the victim’s friends about the couples.

Anytime you went to talk to friends and families about the missing couples it was always how perfect they were for each other, how they were planning on either getting married or the one was about to propose to another. All the true love things that made you feel uncomfortable around this time of year.

One couple, or former couple rather, did remember going to Mainstreet with one of the missing couples. They recalled their trip, they went to the candy store and picked up some goodies for their friends to take home with them, then they went to some other stores to find some clothes and other things they liked before they went to Cosmic Treasures. After they left Mainstreet and returned home, they hadn’t heard from the couple again. But the former couple got into some big argument and they broke up the day their friends went missing.

You were on the way to go check out Cosmic Treasures. Both of you knew it was definitely closed by now and you would be breaking and entering, but it wouldn’t have been the first time the two of you had broken in somewhere.

You gazed out of the window of the Impala while Dean drove and you started to think about different things. You knew couples were everywhere right now, so why were those three the only targets?

“You’re awfully quiet. Penny for your thoughts?” Dean asked and you shrugged a little.

“Just something about this case… of all the couples out there, whoever kidnapped these couples are pretty sick. I mean, they take the couples that are really in love, when there are plenty of other couples out there that just didn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day, or they’re just in the relationship to say they have someone. Why go after the ones that actually have a future?” You asked.

“Witches are evil creatures…. They must have their own sort of sick and twisted reason.” Dean said.

“Well, what about Rowena? She’s quickly become an ally.”

“Well sure, but that doesn’t mean her past wasn’t at least a little malicious before she met us.”

“Yeah.. I guess that’s fair. I just don’t think they deserved it.” You sighed and soon enough you pulled into the back of the store. When the both of you got out, Dean handed you a gun with witch killing bullets before he grabbed one for himself.

When you made it to the door, Dean grabbed his lock picking kit from his pocket and started to get to work.

“Hey, Dean?” You asked and he hummed.

“Do you still think about Lisa?” He paused for a moment. He glanced at you before he looked back at the lock and went back to work.

“Not as often as I used to.” You were a little surprised that he answered.

“You’re still thinking about James, huh?”

“Yeah…”

Dean finally got the door opened and he stood upright before he pushed the door open, then he let you walk inside first, “You’ve really got to stop beating yourself up over him.”

“It’s not that easy…”

“Y/N, come on. Cut yourself some slack. It’s not like you cheated on the guy. You said yourself, he moved on and he’d a lot happier. And more importantly, he’s alive. This life isn’t cut out for a guy like James so you were doing him a favor and he gets to live a normal life without worrying about the shit that creeps around in the dark.”

You sighed a little, knowing he was right and you knew how wishy-washy you sounded. You hated that you sounded like that but you geared your focus on the case once more.

What was worse was that you wanted to move on. You truly did. But you weren’t lying when you said it wasn’t easy. Especially since you were a hunter and if you got into a relationship with someone you knew that if you didn’t hurt them emotionally, they may get hurt physically - maybe even get them killed because of your lifestyle.

Maybe Angela was right and you did have a special someone, and maybe it really was Dean. But the man has gone through enough hurt in his life and you didn’t want to bring anymore heartache. You couldn’t handle doing that to someone like Dean when he deserved the world.

“Do you think these people are actually into witchcraft or do you think they’re just hopping onto a trend?” You asked.

“Nowadays? Who knows what people are getting themselves into without realizing it.” Dean sighed as he picked up some of the crystals.

You went to the front desk and saw the logbook of the things the couple have sold. You skimmed through the purchases to see if there as anything that stood out to you. But then you found some of the names that looked familiar, “I think I’ve got something.”

Dean walked over to you and he dug into his pocket and pulled out a sucker from the shop and popped it into his mouth.

“What’d you find?”

“The couple that went on that double date? The couple that went missing bought some sort of crystals that were meant for some kind of prosperity in the marriage. Look for one of those.” You said and Dean nodded as he looked around, you did the same.

After a few minutes, Dean started to realize something, “I think these are fake… some sort of knock off. I think Keith and Harper really were on some kind of trend.”

“So they aren’t our witches….” You sighed as Dean shook his head and he handed you a sucker. You shrugged a little and took it before popping it in your mouth.

The two of you exited the store the way you came and you hopped into the car again. To your surprise, the sucker tasted like cinnamon, mixed with something sweet. It was an odd taste for a lollipop but it wasn’t a bad taste either. “So what do we do now?”

“Not sure. Maybe we ought to go to the hotel and sleep on it.” Dean said and you nodded a little, knowing that it was getting pretty late.

When you both got into the car again, you leaned your back against the seat and you tried to think of who the witches could be. You and Dean didn’t have that many options to choose from since no one else seemed to be suspicious. But you supposed Cosmic Treasures would have been a little too obvious for this case.

“You’re robbing yourself, you know.” Dean’s voice broke your train of thought.

“What?”

“The James thing. You can’t feel guilty about that forever. You don’t deserve that kind of weight when there’s not much of a need for it. You’re robbing yourself of something good in the future.” Dean finally spoke and you lifted a brow. You wondered just how long he was waiting to tell you that.

You didn’t say anything in response and you remained quiet for the rest of the car ride all the way to the hotel. But when the two of you arrived and got into the hotel room, you realized that everything was disheveled. Your hotel room had been broken into.

“What the Hell?” You said as you looked around and started to look to check if anything was missing.

“I guess the witches may know who we are before we found them.” Dean said and he ran a hand through his short hair.

“Not comforting.”

“Wanna see something less comforting?” Dean asked and you turned around and went to see what he was talking about.

“Orchid colored substance.” Dean said as he swiped his finger and held it up to you to look at. You lifted a brow and tried to think of anything.

“Wait a second… Before the last couple went to Cosmic Treasures, their friends said they all went to the candy store, right?” You asked and Dean nodded.

You quickly took the bag of candy that Jaylah gave you and looked through it. You opened up all the wrappers and saw that some of the candy also had that orchid colored stuff on the wrappers, some of the candies themselves were the same color. It must’ve been one of the ingredients for the sweets.

“Dean, how much of the candy did you eat?”

“Not enough to have a toothache or anything. Why?”

“I think I know who the witches are.”

You and Dean made it back to Mainstreet to go to the candy shop and before Dean could pull out his lock picking kit, you and Dean found yourselves in a fight with both Sean and Jaylah. Unfortunately the witches were the victors in the fight and after the two of you were knocked out, you both were taken.

When you came to, you and Dean found yourselves in the basement of their candy shop. You were both tied to some sort of pillar in the middle of the basement, your backs on either side of the pillar and your hands were tied against each other’s so your hands were bound to each others. You looked in front of you and you noticed there was a table with some potions, powders and some other ingredients. There was even an orchid plant growing in the corner of the room.

“What the Hell is all of this?” You asked and looked at the two of them.

“Well, we could ask you two the same thing. Sean and I knew you were hunters as soon as you two walked through the door.” Jaylah said as she started mixing up some ingredients.

“So the both of you were behind all the kidnappings? What for?” Dean asked as he struggled to break free of the restraints both of you were tied to.

“Sweetheart, how long do you think we’ve been alive? It’s not easy finding a youthful source when you aren’t as powerful as Rowena.” Jaylah said.

“You know Rowena?”

“Well yes and no. We knew of her but we never had much contact with her. She does have a bit of a sour reputation and all.” Sean replied as he was sharpening a knife.

“What did you do to the other couples?”

“Well they became a part of our ritual, that’s all.” Jaylah chimed cheerfully.

“But see our little spell doesn’t work unless the couples we use are truly in love. So anytime the holidays are around, we give people some free little goodie bags. One or two pieces of the candy have a little special something in them that will really show how people feel about each other.” Sean said.

“Some of the candies will have a little truth serum, and unfortunately it may cause a fight that couples don’t recover from especially if it’s something petty. Some candies did other things. But the couples that worth through the petty little argument we can tell are actually soulmates. The soulmates and the ones meant to last are the ones we need for our special ritual.” Jaylah added on.

“You missed one minor detail with us, we aren’t a couple.” You pointed out, “So why give us a bag?”

“Oh, hun… It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell when two people are meant to be together when you’ve been on this earth for literal centuries. You two may not be together in a romantic relationship, but the way you two have a certain chemistry just shows how perfect you are for each other.” Jaylah said.

“We’ve kept an eye on you ever since you left our shop.” Sean said, using a little mirror.

“We can tell Dean’s feelings for you are strong but he’s obviously not admitted to it yet. Still, we can tell he has some sort of ulterior motive for him to be on this trip with you. It’s a man’s natural urge to protect the woman he loves, no matter how strong that woman may be. It’s a matter of having your back. He’s destined to be your partner in life, to stand by your side in a fight. True equals as soulmates should be.” Sean said.

“And you, Y/N… You’re holding onto a past you can’t get over. Don’t you think that’s a little unfair to Dean when you know deep down your feelings for him are just as strong? You’re his voice of reason, his calm in the storm. He’s your anchor of stability, a tower or shelter where you feel safe when you’re most vulnerable. That’s why it was easy to talk to him about your little James problem. You can’t lie to yourself like that.” Jaylah said.

“Well, it’s a little late for them to do anything about it now, hun. We’re running out of time, so let’s get on with the ritual.” Sean told his wife.

You bit your lip, honestly scared you wouldn’t make it out of this. Sam and Elaine were off on their little vacation, Jody was in a different state, your other allies were unavailable and none of them knew you were on this hunt. Was this how everything would end for you and Dean? You knew that you would die in a hunt, most hunters did, but was it really supposed to come this soon?

Dean could tell you were freaking out just by how quiet you became, so he maneuvered his wrist as best as he could and he held both of your hands.

“Hey, we’ll be okay. We’ve gotten ourselves into worse, right?” Dean said and he could feel you squeezing his hands. He knew you were unsure and he knew deep down you were scared even if you’d never say it.

“Besides, these couple of witches are just some old bats. They could never beat Rowena even if they tried.” Dean said, starting to talk smack as sort of a distraction.

“I mean come on, what, you’ve got friggen flower shit in your candy? That is such rookie magic compared to what Rowena can do.” Dean said and Sean looked over.

“And what exactly do you know about the mystic arts, boy? Last I checked, hunters knew next to nothing about spells outside of summoning filthy demons to make deals.” Sean said.

That was when Dean could feel you begin to fidget on the other side of the pillar and he couldn’t help but wonder what the Hell you were trying to do.

“Don’t pay attention to him, Sean. Focus on the spell.” Jaylah said.

“Oh, because you don’t actually know much about spells either? Come on, what happens if this stupid little ritual of yours fail, huh? You two are just a couple of dust bags. Living for centuries? Damn, you should have died off forever ago.” Dean continued and he could feel one of your hands let go of his and he felt some movement on the rope.

That’s my girl…

“That’s enough, Kid. You’re getting on our nerves.” Jaylah said.

When Dean felt the rope break free from one of his wrists, he had to resist the urge to smirk. “Oh? And what the Hell are you going to do about it?”

When dean realized you handed him whatever blade you used to cut one rope, he kept his arm in place so the witches wouldn’t be suspicious of anything and as soon as Jaylah went over to him, she lifted a hand up and when she swung it down to strike him, Dean took the knife you handed him and stabbed her in the shoulder.

She screamed out in pain and held onto her shoulder and Sean rushed to her side to try and help her, “Don’t focus on me, Fool! Kill them! We need their blood for the spell, remember?”

Dean quickly turned so he could cut off the ropes from your other wrists and soon enough you were free only for Dean to get punched in the face by Sean who apparently listened to his wife and was already fighting Dean so he’d get the blood he needed. But apparently Sean was strong and he was starting to overpower Dean.

You got up and you went to grab your gun with the witch killing bullets but you heard Jaylah laugh, “You looking for this, Hun?”

You glanced over and you saw the female witch holding up both the pistols and you watched as she took out the witch killing bullets in one of the guns. You looked over and saw Dean was starting to lose the fight and you started getting worried for him and you rushed over and took a separate blade you had.

You went to Jaylah and dug your knife deeper into her shoulder and she let out a bloodcurdling scream and Sean looked over at you.

“You let Dean go. Now.” You said sternly as you pushed Jaylah down to her knees. Then you took one of the guns and aimed it at Jaylah’s head.

“Don’t listen to her, Sean! You and I know plenty of spells that will bring each other back! Just kill him already!”

“You harm another hair on his head, and I can assure you that with these bullets, your beloved won’t make it back no matter what blasted spell you use.” You seethed.

While Sean was stuck trying to think, Dean used his knife and stabbed Sean in the heart and gave the blade a twist. After that, Sean’s body fell to the ground and his corpse withered away to dust.

“Sean! No!” Jaylah screamed and you went ahead and pulled the trigger, killing the other witch before she could do anything else. Like her husband, Jaylah’s body quickly turned to dust as well.

You quickly rushed over to Dean to check on him since he was the one that was in more of a fight than you were, “Are you alright? He didn’t do too much damage, did he?”

You heard Dean laugh a little before he shook his head, “No, he didn’t. I’ll just be a little sore I guess. I’m getting too old for fights like that, I may need to do some stretches before we go in guns blazing.”

You chuckles as you helped Dean up from the ground and when he looked down at the blade you gave him, he grinned.

“This thing’s pretty damn cool. Where’d you get it?” He asked as he started to hand it back to you but you held your hand up to stop him.

“I got it from the antique store. I’ve got a feeling her husband was a hunter before he passed away. I thought you’d like it. So it’s yours.” You said and Dean looked down at it, noticing the engravings seemed similar to what he used in the witch killing bullets.

“A witch killing blade… sweet. Thanks, Sweetheart.” Dean said as he looked down at you and you bit your li a little before looking away from him.

“Yeah, well… just thought it would be something handy. Let’s get back to the hotel. It’s been a long day.” You said.

You were quiet on the way to the hotel room. A lot had happened when you were killing those witches. The way the two seemed to read through you made you wonder just how right they were about how Dean felt. Did he really have those feelings for you?

You had mixed feelings about the term soulmates. Sure you knew you had feelings for Dean, and they were right about you trying to deny them. But you never thought about the possibility of robbing Dean of yourself. You wondered if Dean felt like he was being robbed this whole time because you just couldn’t get over James. So many things were being put into perspective for you.

Then when Dean almost got killed by Sean, you knew in that moment that you didn’t want to lose him. You didn’t know what you would do without him. It was something you didn’t want to even think about.

When the two of you walked into the lobby of the hotel and went into the elevator to go to your room, you still remained quiet.

Dean noticed the silence and he was starting to get a little worried. Did he do something wrong on the hunt? What had you so quiet? Both of you came out of the fight relatively unscathed next to the bruise on Dean’s cheek but that was it.

“Is everything alright?” He asked you in a gentle tone. He didn’t want to make any advances just because of what a couple of witches said. He could never be sure of what they said about you was true.

If you really had feelings for him, wouldn’t you have shown them? Why did you bring up James so often if you really did have feelings for him? There was just too much uncertainty even though everything Sean said about his feelings for you were pretty much correct for the most part.

“Yeah… everything’s fine. Just have a lot on my mind right now.” He heard you reply. He knew that you were aware that you could always talk to him when you were ready, so he wasn’t going to push the matter like his brother would. So, Dean put a hand in his pocket and grabbed a piece of candy.

After all, the witches were dead so the sweets had to be harmless, right?

“Dean, you don’t know if those candies will kill you now that they’re dead.” He heard you tell him and he shrugged a little.

“I doubt they will. Plus you have to admit, they do taste pretty good.”

When the elevator made it to your floor, the both of you went to your room and it was quiet between the both of you. It was a little awkward, and neither of you really knew how to address the atmosphere. Maybe once the both of you got plenty of rest you could figure out how to tackle everything.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” You heard Dean say and you nodded a little and watched him leave to the bathroom. Then you glanced over at the bag of candy.

You couldn’t help but wonder… now that the witches were dead, what did the spiked candy do? Would it still ignite some kind of argument or would it do something else? So you walked over to the dresser and grabbed the bag and took an unopened piece of candy and popped it into your mouth.

It started off as some sort of truth candy right that would make couples fight? What else did it do? Maybe it wouldn’t actually be cursed anymore. And Dean was right, they do taste pretty good. You were growing a little more accustomed to the cinnamon taste it had.

You could listen to the shower running and you still couldn’t help but wonder how Dean really felt about you. But you were starting to come to terms with how you felt about him.

You gulped a little as you felt your heart racing. The more that you realized that you were in love with Dean, the more you realized that you had been a fool all of this time to keep feeling guilty about James. Dean was the bravest man you had known, and you were a coward as you hid behind what happened.

You lifted your gaze to the bathroom door and you bit down on your lip. A sudden wave of nerves washed over you as you tried to think of what you should do. You knew exactly what you wanted to do, but you were scared to do it, scared of how Dean would react.

You finally took in a deep breath before you kicked off your shoes and started making your way to the bathroom. You could hear Dean humming some Metallica song to himself in the shower and you smiled to yourself. He was adorable with the way he’d hum songs from his favorite bands.

You gulped as you carefully started to take off your articles of clothing, and to your surprise, you weren’t really cold since it was warm in the bathroom. Dean must’ve been using the warm water. You could feel your hands shaking and the butterflies were swirling around in your stomach since now you were naked, in front of the shower curtain and Dean was on the other side in the same state you were.

You slowly pulled the shower curtain back, and Dean turned around with a surprised look on his face as he quickly covered himself up.

“Y/N? What are you doing?” He asked and you gazed up into his eyes.

Without a word, you slowly stepped into the shower with Dean. You could feel the warm water hitting your skin as you closed the shower curtain behind you. Then you reached up and caressed his stubbled cheek.

“You were right…” you breathed out and you could feel one of Dean’s hands touch the small of your back.

“What are you talking about?”

“I need to get over James.”

Dean lifted a brow as if he needed some sort of further explanation for the sudden development.

“The witches were right too. Deep down I’ve always known how I’ve felt about you but… I let fear hold me back. And I can’t do it anymore. You were right when you said I was robbing myself, but I realize that, that I’m robbing you too.”

“Y/N, are you sure we should be doing this? Just because those bastards think they know is doesn’t mean we have to do anything you aren’t sure of.” He said.

“Dean, I’ve never been more sure of anything. I want you to help me forget about James and move on for good.” You said as you placed your other hand on his chest.

“I need you, Dean.”

Dean looked down at you and he could feel his heart threatening to break out of his chest, and he wonder if you could feel it under your delicate fingers. Then, he carefully leaned down and let his lips finally collide with yours and he closed his eyes.

The kiss started off tender, sweet even as he pulled you closer to himself while his other hand went to the back of your head and his fingers started to get tangled in your hair as it was getting wet with the shower. Then it slowly turned more passionate as he carefully took your bottom lip between his teeth and gave it a little tug.

The moment you let out a soft moan in response, Dean swore all of the blood in his system was rushing downward. He had no idea you’d sound so beautiful even from such a simple action and he kissed you again, harder this time.

You could feel him beginning to grow harder against your stomach as he kissed you deeper. When you could feel his tongue trace over your bottom lip, you carefully opened your mouth to let him in before wrapping your lips around his muscle and gave it a little suck. When you did, the deep sound he let out made your legs go weak.

Dean slowly backed you up against the shower wall, never breaking your lips apart and you could feel his hand go from the small of your back down to your ass as he gave it a little squeeze. You slowly moved your hand from his chest downward, letting your fingernails lightly scrape over his skin before your fingers brushed over his hardening member.

Dean’s breath got caught in his throat when he felt the way your fingers could barely wrap around him. When he parted your lips he looked down into your eyes and saw how adorable you looked with your cheeks flushed pink and your lips swollen from his kisses. Then he leaned down and started planting kisses from the corner of your mouth, down your jawline before reaching your neck where the kisses grew hotter.

You could hear him moan close to your ear as you slowly started to pump his shaft. Your eyes fluttered closed when he started to kiss your neck. You let our a soft noise when he found that certain sensitive spot and he gently bit down on it and started to suck on the skin and you knew there would be a bruise there. But as he worked on your neck, you could feel him part your thighs with his knee before he dipped his hand in between your legs.

Dean let his fingers glide through your folds and he let out a soft groan when he felt just how slick you were for him, “Fuck.”

He let his middle finger rub through your soaking core before it found your little bundle of nerves. The moment he found that little nub of yours, he could feel your fingernails dig into his shoulders as he started to rub little circles onto it. Your body started to tense up beneath his touch and he lifted his head from your neck and placed a kiss on your cheek.

“Relax, Sweetheart.. I’ve got you.”

His whispered words made you a little less tense and you reconnected your lips with Dean’s. As you continued to let your hand move up and down, you slightly tightened your grip and Dean moaned into your mouth. That was when you felt one of his fingers finally dip into your entrance, causing you to whimper a little and he smirked against your mouth.

When Dean gently pushed another finger into your entrance, you gasped at the stretch and Dean took the opportunity to let his tongue invade your mouth once more. You felt like it was nearly in the back of your throat and he was completely consuming you as you melted into his touch. You could feel him beginning to move his fingers in and out of your core and you couldn’t help but begin to move your hips into his hand to try and match his rhythm.

Just as Dean could feel your entrance tightening around his two fingers, he slipped a third in so he could reach into you deeper and he curled those three fingers inside of you as he picked up his pace.

“Oh fuck, Dean…” You moaned out and buried your face in the crook of his neck and he knew he must’ve found the spot that was making you see stars.

Your walls were clamping around his fingers tighter and he gently kissed your temple, “Go ahead, Baby. Let go. Cum for me.”

That was all you needed to hear from him before you finally had a release on his fingers, your thighs shaking as you felt Dean kiss your shoulder before he pulled his fingers from between your legs.

“Fuck you’re so gorgeous when you come undone…” he whispered into your hair but you moved your head to look up at him again.

“Dean… I need more…” You panted. Your body felt like it was on fire as it craved every little part of him. You needed him in every way possible; heart, body and soul. This need was more than you could fathom at the moment.

Dean looked down into your eyes and saw the look you had was sincere. He couldn’t bring himself to say no when he knew you desired him in the same way he’s craved you for so long. He reached over and turned off the water in the shower before he picked you up by your thighs and he felt you wrap your legs around his torso so naturally. He could feel your slick lips brushing up against his painfully hard member, which was making it incredibly difficult to focus.

He walked with you out of the bathroom and he felt your lips on his neck, which made his entire body feel hot. But then he carefully laid you down on the mattress and when he saw you laying there ready for him, he swore he was so close to losing all control. Every curve of you was more beautiful than he ever imagined and he was trying to let this image of you on the mattress become implanted in his mind.

Dean moved to where he was hovering over your body and he grinned at the way you spread your legs for him so he could settle between your thighs. He lifted a hand and caressed your cheek but then he bit his lip, “You’re absolutely sure you want to keep going?”

“I’m more than sure, Dean. You mean the world to me, and I want you to make me yours.” You said and leaned up, placing a delicate kiss on his bottom lip as you hooked one of your legs around his waist in order to pull him closer so he could get the picture.

Dean carefully pulled away from your lips as he wrapped his hand around his own length and guided it to your core. He listened to the way you let out a gasp when his tip brushed against your lower lips and he figured you must still be sensitive from your previous high.

He leaned down and he placed a kiss on your forehead before he slowly pushed his tip into your entrance and he heard the way you let out a soft hiss so he stilled himself so you could adjust to his size. But when he felt the way your hands gently slid up his arms and gave his shoulders a soft squeeze, he knew you were alright and he carefully slid more of himself into you.

Little by little, you were adjusting to Dean’s miraculous size until he finally bottomed out and he stretched you to the limits. The pain was already mixed with a sense of ecstasy. When you looked into Dean’s eyes, you felt nothing but pure love for the man, and that was the complete truth - so you supposed those candies still did their truth telling jobs. You knew that what you were feeling with Dean in this moment was genuine, whatever you had for James didn’t compare to this and you knew Dean was the man you wanted a future with.

You nodded a little to tell Dean it was safe for him to move, and the moment that he did you could feel him so deeply that the feeling was indescribable. You felt him in places that had never been touched by anyone, including yourself.

You had expected Dean to be rough with you, but you were pleasantly surprised at how much of a gentle lover he was at least for this first time around. As he moved his hips into yours, you raised your hips to meet his and you raised your head to kiss him again. You could feel his smile in the kiss and you felt like you were making magic of your own, no potions or spells needed.

Dean felt so intoxicated by your kisses and he felt so attached to you in a way he couldn’t explain. He’s waited for this moment with you for so long and he couldn’t believe it was really happening. He knew that with you by his side, he’d never have to feel alone in this harsh world filled with monsters and demons.

He moved his arms to where they went under your knees, lifting your legs over his shoulders so he could move into you at a deeper angle. You moaned into his mouth in such a pretty little way and he gradually started to pick up his pace. The noises your bodies made in this moment were better than his cassettes he played in the Impala and he never wanted to forget the sounds you let slip past your beautiful mouth.

This deeper angle was making you see stars and you could feel yourself starting to get to that high again, causing you to let out a high pitched little whimper against Deans lips before he parted from the kiss. He looked down at you and you felt so hot beneath his loving gaze.

“Go ahead and touch yourself, Sweetheart.” He encouraged and you nodded as you let your hand slip between your legs.

You hadn’t realized just how wet you were until you touched yourself, causing your cheeks to burn and turn into a deep red before you started to rub little circles onto your clit as Dean continued to move into you. You could feel him start to move his hips a little harder, causing you to close your eyes and moan out his name.

“Open your eyes, Baby. I need to see you.” You heard him say and you could feel one of his hands float to your own and he intertwined your fingers while holding your hand beside your head.

You opened your eyes and tried to focus on keeping your gaze transfixed on the man above you, “D-Dean, I’m so close.”

“It’s alright, let go when you’re ready. I want to see you come undone all over me.” He said and he gave your hand a soft squeeze of reassurance.

The next thing you knew, your vision went white and you moaned out his name with so much pleasure washing over you. You gripped his hand tightly as Dean carefully helped you ride out your second climax. You body was trembling with pleasure and your eyes fluttered shut as Dean placed soft, loving little kisses all over your shoulder and neck.

“You did so well for me, Sweetheart. That was beautiful. You’re so stunning.” He praised, making the butterflies swarm in your stomach in a different way this time.

When you slowly opened your eyes again, you carefully reached up and touched his face and he leaned into your touch before you spoke, “It’s your turn, Baby… I want you to cum inside me.”

Dean faltered for a moment and his cheeks and tips of his ears turned bright red, “You want me to what?”

“You heard me, Dean… I want every part of you in me. Please, fill me up.” You said and let your thumb caress his cheekbone.

Dean heard the way you asked him so sweetly and he swore you were going to make his heart explode. He leaned down and kissed your mouth, not needing you to urge him more as he started to move his hips once again. He could feel you part your lips from his and wrap your little arms around his neck as you started to place kisses on his skin.

“Fuck, Y/N…” He muttered as his hand went down to your hip and he pinned you down against the bed to hold you still as he quickened his pace. He could feel the way your walls clamped around his length to tightly. Then, after a few more movements of his hips, he leaned down and his head was hidden in the crook of your neck as he held onto you tightly as if he never intended on letting go as he coated your inner walls white and he pushed his hips into you one final time as he moaned deeply.

You could feel the way he was spilling himself inside of you, filling you to the brim and you gently held onto him. You let your hands gently scratch his back as you kissed his broad shoulders to try and calm him down from his high. You felt so content in this moment with him as you just held onto him. You could hear the way he was panting and you chuckled softly since you were out of breath too. Then you moved your head as best as you could to kiss his temple.

“You’re so perfect, Dean..” You whispered against his skin and he carefully lifted his head from your neck and tucked a strand of slightly sweaty hair behind your ear.

“Not nearly as perfect as you are, Sweetheart.” He smiled down at you and you grinned.

“You know… I think that was the first time I’ve actually made love to anyone.” He admitted and you started to feel a little bashful.

“Maybe those witches were onto something. Maybe we’re soulmates after all.” You giggled breathlessly and Dean chuckled.

“Whatever this was.. is… I think it’s better than any kind of magic those bastards could have conjured up.” He said, which caused you to chuckle again as you snuggled int his chest.

“The sweetest kind of magic.” You said.

You knew that with Dean, it would gradually get easier to let go of your regrets and your guilt of past relationships. He was always there to listen, he had become your confidant, the one person you could rely on more than anyone else and this was exactly what you imagined this feeling you had would be like.

Falling in love like this was a better feeling than you ever could have imagined and you knew you had fallen for the right person after all.

Tag List:

@deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373 @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @jackles010378 @nancymcl @prettyinplaid94 @chriszgirl92

[gay-dorito-dust]

If you're still taking reqs for TADC, could you possibly write something for on Jax with another member of the circus who is seemingly the only one that feeds into his actions and reacts- leading the two to go back and forth all the time. While everyone (even themselves) believe the pair hate each other, deep down there's some shared feelings!

(Sorry if this is worded weirdly..)

You and Jax were at each other’s throats once again much to the dismay of Pomni and Ragatha, who watched on from afar.

‘Jax!’ You exclaimed, gaining the purple bunny’s attention as he looked at you with his usual shit eating grin with his hands shoved into his overalls.

‘Why isn’t it y/n! Here to accuse me of doing something outrageous again because your undying hatred for me consumes your mind body and soul?’ Jax replied sarcastically, which only proven to make you even more pissed off as you grabbed him by the straps of his overalls, brining him in close.

‘Oh you think you’re hilarious don’t you bunny boy?’ You said through gritted teeth, trying not to focus on the fact that you were mere inches away from each other, mere inches away from touching heads but you were quick to focus back on why you were even confronting him to begin with. ‘I know damn well you put those rats in my room, do you not have anything better to do then annoy me for your entertainment.’ You added.

‘Have they always hated each other?’ Pomni asked Ragatha who was having a hard time recalling herself. You and Jax had always been like this for as far as she remembered, the reason why you both were like this was a mystery to all even Caine, but everyone had soon accepted that you and Jax just didn’t like each other in general. Jax liked to fuck with everyone and you happened to react the most to them, causing him to focus all of his pranks onto you.

‘They entered here at the same time and even then they didn’t like each other at all.’ Ragatha started. ‘Y/n hated how Jax massed with everyone and Jax found y/n’s need to confront him every time he did so both annoying but amusing at the same time. Soon enough all they could focus on was each other, getting on one another’s nerves, almost as though the rest of us don’t exist in their little feud as all they could see was each other.’ Ragatha finished and Pomni looked back at you and Jax, seeing that you were still very much at each other’s throats.

The way you both seemed to unintentionally lean towards each other despite hating the other’s very being, it came across as intimate but Pomni believed that she was looking too deep into things.

‘So do they hate each other, like Properly hate each other? If so why are they always within the others space?’ She asked, a million more questions coming to her head.

All Ragatha could do was shrug her shoulders. ‘I’ve had similar questions before but I’ve just chalked it up to y/n being red with rage that they don’t see how they feed into Jax’s ego, and Jax is far too aware of how he is affecting y/n to the point where he can’t stop himself from messing with them.’ The pair then went back to watching you and Jax as he griped his hands over your own on his overalls, forcing you to stay in close proximity of him.

‘You’re just so reactive to everything I do, even the smallest things tick you off, are you sure you’re not like secretly in love with me or something?’ He teased as he watched your eyes widened before narrowing into a glare again.

‘As if I’d like a chaos causing mischief maker like you in the first place? It’s you who might have feelings for me, especially given how often you keep pranking me and invading my personal space as though it’s nonexistent.’ You spat back as you watched Jax’s smile falter for a split seconds before it came back full force as he scoffs, pulling your hands off of him with ease.

‘Like you said as if I’d ever like a over emotional person like you, who can’t seem to take a joke and overreact to everything I do because everything I do is morally wrong and unjust in their eyes.’ Jax spat back, not wanting your words to get to him as he naturally deflected all of his flaws to focus on yours in retaliation.

‘Can’t take a joke?’ You asked rhetorically, sure your feelings were slightly hurt but you were able to not let it show in fear that Jax would use it to advantage. ‘Can’t take a- what you call a joke is anything but a joke! You just want to make everyone as miserable and as hopeless as you.’ You finished, practically seething as you saw how unaffected Jax was by your words.

‘Nope, wrong as usual. I just want you to be as miserable and hopeless as me sweetheart.’ Jax said almost too casually as he shrugged his shoulders before leaving you stood there in utter bafflement. ‘See you later for the adventure, hope you’ll keep your emotions in check this time.’ He adds with a lazy wave as he disappears from sight.

You knew your relationship with Jax was…complicated to say the least, always hating each other, and getting in the others face for no reason other then to voice your hate for one another in voices barely above a whisper. You didn’t remember when you hated him but soon you felt it shift somewhat the longer you were stuck here with him. You noticed your change of emotions towards his and grew annoyed, which only made your supposed hate for Jax grow to hide the fact that you had grown feelings for the lavender rabbit.

Yet you knew he didn’t feel the same, he hated you beyond words can describe and so instead of forcing an fantasy to become reality, you had forced yourself to accept the reality that you and Jax were meant to be enemies no matter what.

However you weren’t the only one with conflicted thoughts and feelings about this because Jax was in a similar situation. He was supposed to hate you, much like he did the moment you locked eyes but he feared something else blossomed from that first glance, something he didn’t want to admit anytime soon; and so he decided to torment you in order to find things to hate about you to stop thinking about anything else.

Jax wasn’t stupid he knew he liked you but for all he was aware you hated him beyond belief, beyond words even and so he focused on things that he had tricked himself into hating about you and letting himself continue to be your enemy as long as he got your attention, you soul focus on him and only him like he wanted.

You and him were made to be enemies but born to be more but both of you didn’t know how to admit it, not when you thought the other one despaired the other with how hostile you acted towards one another, and yet you craved the others attention in the same breath. You craved and despised each other simultaneously that you had found yourself in a never ending battle of whether you and Jax would ever break from this hatred and actually grow to like each other, but you and Jax both knew that was too much to ask, not knowing that you both indeed did like each other but were just that good at hiding it with mutual hate.

[k9punkout]

AND IF I SAID THAT ivan's perception of till's determination and hostility was generally wrong and unintentionally undermining of his actual mental instability. IF I SAID THAT this pov rubbed off on the fandom and plays into several till mischaracterizations. WHAT THEN.

okay so hear me out on this one. ivan's acknowledged that he could never quite understand till like he could all the other children. everyone else fell into a sort of pattern, a puzzle that can be solved with a simple analysis and adapted behavior. everyone except till.

till was no solvable puzzle. all the pieces to him were distorted, broken, missing. a living hurricane, a walking contradiction. he was gentle in his violence, quiet in his loudness, complex in his simplicity. ivan could get no true read on him, and that's why he grew so drawn to him.

and while i do believe that till is just an eccentric and unpredictable person at heart, a large part of his chaotic nature is due to his trauma. his rapid and intense mood swings, his aggressive behavior, his easily overwhelmed mind, his fluctuating ego, and many other aspects to him are all signs of abuse related mental instability. ivan saw all of that, witnessed all the abuse and all its side effects, but it never really struck him that holy shit, this guy needs psychological help.

and it's not like that's HIS fault either. Ivan was never really taught how people work, he learned via absorbing how the other children interacted instead (which isn't really efficient, he's no mind reader or anything). i wouldn't be surprised if he had no clue that mental illness even EXISTED; he always referred to himself and sua as simply "twisted" rather than trying to figure out if they could be helped or fixed, or WHY they stood out from the others.

he never even questioned his own hatred for himself. he simply thought it was reasonable, because of course, who wouldn't hate a monster like him? once someone knows who he is deep down, there is no redeeming quality that he can genuinely exhibit to exonerate himself from his rotten, detached mindset. in his mind, he deserves the isolation.

ivan truly sees himself as the worst person in the world, which makes till, by comparison, simply a confusing kid who isn't scared to fight back. ivan thinks till's willpower stems from great mental strength rather than desperation and fear. this would lead him to both misinterpret till's actions and overestimate his mental strength, all while underestimating how rapidly his sanity is withering.

this is shown quite a few times around the series. in "Confession," he refers to till as the "victim of his shallow emotions," demonizing himself and painting till as his victim. as if till could do no harm. as if till was the ONLY victim here. (i can't stop thinking about how much till would've hated that word. victim.)

in a slightly more elaborate retranslation of Cure that someone on this app did (i tried to find it but i sadly couldn't), the word "scars" ("even if your cruel words carve scars beneath my eyes") was said to be better translated into "scratches." a flesh wound. nothing debilitating, nothing severe, just painful for a while, and then gone. insignificant. the harm he inflicts is insignificant compared to everything else that he is.

i'll stick around, i'll stay, because the bruises we leave on each other are nothing compared to the spark he ignites within me.

till punches and kicks and screams and snarls, and to ivan, it's no problem, just something that makes him unique. he'd do anything to see him fight. so what if he gets caught in the crossfire? so what if he's killed while he's at it? it's all worth it. till could just continue on without him, it'd be so easy. he's strong, he never cared for him all that much anyway.

till is unpredictable, till is unique. it's just the way things work. nothing about it needs to be changed. the destruction he causes to himself and to others doesn't need to be fixed, it's already perfect. he's perfect, in all his imperfections.

THATS where the toxicity lies in ivantill. not because ivan is totally possessive and wants till to belong to him and only him or whatever some of the fandom says. but because ivan so obsessed with till that he'll die for him while calling him his victim. that he'll acknowledge till's hostile behavior and his quickness to rage and violence and consider it something to be loved rather than concerned about or feared. he'll hone in on his own flaws, never acknowledging till's, never seeing how they're destroying EACH OTHER, and exclusively focusing on the harm that HE'S done to till.

it's why ivan was always bothering him. he wanted to see him lose his temper, wanted him to fight and struggle. (more often than not, this was a good thing, as it often happened whenever till was sad/out of it, but just because something's beneficial in the moment doesn't mean it makes for a healthy relationship).

of course, none of this means that ivan DIDNT want till to be happy. he wouldn't have tried to escape with him if that was the case. he liked seeing till angry, but not any more than he hated seeing till miserable. despite not quite understanding him, he still wanted the best for that boy.

i think ivans warped perspective affected the way many people characterize till. a lot of people treat him as a more gentle person than he is in canon, and while it's true that he's mentally weak, he'd never cower in the face of someone stronger than him, like many people seem to think. he's vulnerable in the explosive and reactive sense, not in the powerless and delicate sense.

so far, we've gotten so much of ivans perspective of till that people seem to forget that he literally committed a murder in round 2. and he looked REALLY happy abt that shit. my mans freddy was a father of two and till did NOT care. not to mention that he didn't even spare acorn a GLANCE the entire round.

idk man the guy's a lil cuckoo loca we might need to remember that