#everyone has their own theory on what happened between them

[driftward]

Log Entries 113-140

Log Entry 113

She woke up late. She never wakes up late.

At least we still went for her morning run. Well, morning. Barely. It was lunch time when we got back. She washed up, changed outfit, went to the meeting room where the company usually has their lunch, and announced to everyone present that the courtship between her and the Chirurgeon had ended.

And then she retreated.

The Madam Commander is acting in paradox. Frantic, yet still. Bubbling full of emotion, silent as ice. Hands reaching for tasks, yet nothing accomplished.

I have seen her here before, and I am afraid. I cannot keep her safe this time.

I want her to take care of herself. I want to prepare. She is going to self isolate. We need food, water, books.

Stupid, stupid.

Log Entry 115

The Madam Commander’s brother is still at headquarters, which I did not fully appreciate. She went to him. The Leftenant was there as well, but whatever they were doing, they put it aside to let her stay.

Nothing happened. We’re well fed and there’s plenty of tea.

Log Entry 117

She sent the Mathye a fruit basket. I looked back through Lily and Foxglove’s notes. I’m pretty certain this is the wrong way to handle a break up. I referenced some stories from the archives.

They’re no help.

My own guidance recommends that, if opportunity presents itself, to send someone with relationship difficulties back from the field to sort it out so they are better able to focus on what’s right in front of them.

Guess we aren’t meant to be counselors.

Log Entry 118

I was so worried that I didn’t notice at first, but!

Something’s changed.

She wakes alone, but from that moment, she does not stay alone. If there is nobody where she intends to be, she seeks until she finds somebody.

Our friends accept us. She does not talk as much, but they seem happy to just have her there, and it’s a relief, I’m relieved, she’s not brooding, well she IS but she’s brooding with company, and most importantly, no running off to perform ill advised experiments with insufficient supervision.

I am not sufficient supervision. Noting that here should it come up again. She’s too big and too heavy for me to move by myself. That’s important to note. I’m noting it.

Log Entry 119

She could stand more variety in her diet.

Log Entry 124

She practically lives in the workshop, now. I think she’s determined that’s where her friends are likely to either be, or where they’ll look for her first. And she’s taken to machinery with enthusiasm.

Which is great! I can also access schematics! In theory. Fairies did lots of things back in ancient Nym. I am an Eos-class, so while I am specialized for helping my Scholar in field triage situations, fairies like me had other jobs, too!

And I am so much more than most fairies. I bet I could pick this up no sweat. Just me and her and her crew, working on these submersicraft and aerocraft.

Soon as I can interact with reality I’m going to bite everyone and everything. This is terrible has been terrible and continues to be terrible.

Log Entry 130

The Madam Commander is more worried about the Crystalficer as time goes on, and I think she’s right! Whatever has happened to the Crystalficer is eerily familiar to what happened to us. Everything was fine, right, until everything was very. Not fine.

The Marine seems to disagree. Where’s her fairy. Where’s Glitterdust. I want to talk to her instead.

A joke! I am hilarious. I still can’t talk to anyone.

Anyroad, worries about the Apple are on pause for now. It seems that someone else has recognized the Madam Commander’s excellence, and asked for her services.

An investigation. This is great, actually! It is well past time. The Madam Commander has recovered her strength well enough, if not her essence. She has been practicing with gunblade and chakram; so she is armed enough. She is smart, and clever, and even without me, she will be alright. The Marine and the Leftenant are never far from her side, and there are others she can call on.

And frankly this is better than her spending all her time in the workshop avoiding thinking about the Chirurgeon.

So, murder most grisly in the home of the land spirits! I wonder if they will be able to see me. We are off!

Log Entry 138

I have missed this.

Lily told me stories of their early adventures, and I have bits and pieces of Foxglove’s gestalt, to say nothing of my own memories.

Simply, my Scholar is an investigator.

And it is in an investigation that she is most in her element.

We’ve been directed to examine some bodies. I want to tell her what I can see! I want to help! I can see what’s wrong almost immediately. Their physical form may be whole, but their essence is depleted - further than even death would suggest, given how long they have been dead. If I was more here than not here, I could help perform the autopsy work.

But my Scholar is an investigator.

And while I have been helpful in the past, she doesn’t NEED need me for this.

Watching her work is a marvel. The way she notices every detail of a scene. The way she manages to see things nobody else does, not even me. The care with which she acts. The way she puts pieces of information together.

I thought I would try to help. And I think she managed to see the world I do, just for a moment, I’m… I’m not sure. But she saw the essence depletion, same as me.

A small puzzle piece! The Adept and the Marine are both here. She called on them both, and set them to work, and began to put the matter together.

It’s so good to be back in the field like this.

Log Entry 139

The Crystalficer was still on her mind, and so we went to their home. A small living craft, worthy of any proper Nymian. Her and the Marine disagreed on some matters, even as she examined the ship and noted it had been abandoned.

She wanted to go inside. The Marine disagreed.

It was a risk, but we took it. Just the slightest nudge, right? Just a brief touch, through, and I had her hand through the door and opening it from the other side.

I don’t think the Marine noticed. We examined the boat, and oh, my Scholar is so very very clever! I thought we were only working on the one case, but in fact, we were working on two! She determined that the Crystalficer was very probably the grisly murderer in the home of the land spirits!

Or… something infesting and controlling the Crystalficer.

A voidsent.

We are about to go investigate further.

Log Entry 139 addendum

IT WAS NOT A VOIDSENT HOLY SHITE IT WAS NOT A VOIDSENT THIS MAY BE MY FINAL LOG

Log Entry 140

The Crystalficer is back home, safe.

She had… summoned… a unique sort of egi. Now, I don’t know as much about egis as I would like. They are creatures of aether, like me. They are created via sophisticated geometry, like me. But while I tap into anima energies and am formed of symbolic logic, an egi… borrows… primal aether. Sort of like living aether, but elementally charged, and shaped by some kind of conceptual logic.

It was a terrible creature. I could call it a voidsent, I think, for it was full of the chaotic aether with which I am now all too familiar. It had many arms of dangerous blades. It was fast, and dangerous.

I was faster. I am still not sure how I did it, but at one point, I reached, and pulled myself and my Scholar through the in-between.

We avoided the worst of its strikes. We fought back.

It did not dissipate fully when defeated. A part of it is still part of the Apple. It will always be part of her, the Scholar opines.

I look upon it with a faint feeling of horror.

We may be different, but we are the same. Her egi… my Scholar’s fairy… me.

Our aether showing streaks of the strong mix of static and chaos. I know not where her egi got it from. I got the static from the Atelier, so long ago, pulled from the malfunctioning device, to protect my Scholar. And the chaos… again. That from the spaces we visited abyss. I took it to protect my Scholar.

But what if … I am the same as that thing?

A fairy is a symbolic construct that serves their Scholar.

But that thing defended the Crystalficer as viciously as I would defend my Scholar.

And I am clearly not a proper fairy anymore.

No. I won’t do it. And that’s that.

[flo55i]

michael goes with daniel to the hospital 1.5k of Daniel&Michael for the platonic friend fix

“I want you to go with them, Michael.”

It wasn’t a question; Christian was already pulling at Michael’s headset and taking it from his neck, pushing him towards the car idling at the edge of the garage. 

“But Blake can…there are others more suited, surely.” Michael had trailed off. 

The level of emotion outlined in Christian’s severe frown surprised him into giving up whatever he was going to come up with to get out of it. He looked at the concrete floor instead, at the rain still pooling along pit lane, like he was intruding on a private moment. Maybe then he would have been able to swallow the lump in his own throat. 

Daniel was fine, he reminded himself.   

“I want you to keep me informed. Help him keep it together, that sort of thing.” The hand on his shoulder, guiding him out of the back of the garage had felt like a noose instead. 

By the time they are in the back of a car together, the choked feeling has migrated to his chest as Michael can’t work out what is appropriate to say at a time like this. What will be the first thing he and Daniel have said to each other in probably months. 

“How are you feeling then?” Is the generic phrase that he goes with. The last thing he needs is Daniel yelling at him again, accusing him of being unfeeling.

Cold-hearted wanker is the word he actually thinks was used last time. 

“Like I probably should have hit the McLaren instead.” Daniel snorts, and although he’s got his head leaning back against the headrest, Michael knows him well enough to tell that he’s smiling. Even if it’s in sarcasm. 

“I mean, it all happened so fast. I doubt anyone would have blamed you if you did.” Michael tries to assure any lingering guilt. 

“I’ll keep that in time for next time I crash out then, shall I?” 

It’s biting and Michael doesn’t give him the satisfaction of a reply. Eyes on the front, he concentrates on the two doctors who sit up in the driver’s and passenger seats of the SUV—one from the medical centre, the other from RedBull— who are arguing in German about the best way to leave the track. Cameras and fans crowd the vehicle making it hard to see anything out the windows and when Michael turns back, Daniel has his head tilted once more to the ceiling, eyes closed, conversation apparently over. 

He’s not asleep though. The broken arm is strapped carefully tight to his chest but his thigh is jiggling, teeth gritted, yet he still tries to breathe deep through them. It makes a little wheezing sound that has Michael pursing his lips. He wonders how much—if any— pain medication he’d been given so far. 

Not caring about offending Daniel’s delicate sensibilities, or how to approach the stalemate between them, Michael reaches for Daniel’s good wrist to check his pulse. The stupid idiot can rant and rave for all he cares, it’s his job to help.

(He needs to make sure Daniel’s ok.) 

The pulse is consistent enough, considering. Michael checks his pupils too— almost fully dilated, which means he’s running on adrenaline only. 

“Why didn’t you let them give you anything for the pain, you moron? Now is not the time to start playing the martyr.” Michael scolds. Whilst Daniel may have been too tired to protest his manhandling, Daniel bares the censure less gracefully. 

“This isn’t that kind of trip, mate.” And Michael knows the last word tacked on to the end is meant to be mocking. Hurtful. He tries not to let how much show on his face. 

“I know you don’t think I like, have any”, Daniel continues, apparently not done with settling the score, “But somebody’s gotta have at least some sort of control when they’re deciding the future of my career up there.” 

Tilting his head, he motions towards the two doctors out front, who haven’t spoken a word to Daniel about how he’s doing or what to expect since they barked at him to keep his arm above his heart as soon as the door was closed.

But instead of pity, the reminder of RedBull and their exacting levels of control over Daniel’s life has Michael angry. 

“What happened to, it’s nice to finally be with family? People who really care about me?” Michael throws back the words Daniel has been spouting to every tabloid ever since his return to the sport. 

It’s petty but Michael doesn’t care. It had felt like all their years of friendship being thrown back in his face. Still does. Serves the selfish fucker right to feel a bit of that back. 

But Daniel’s not playing that game with him anymore it seems. 

“Got me there!” He jokes. But his head is bowed, smile mocking somehow in its complacency. Michael thinks it might be regret. 

“You were always telling me I never did have the best instincts, right?”

It’s probably the most of an apology he’s ever going to get. And combined with the struggling, broken look Michael swore after last year he never wanted to see on Daniel’s face again, his first instinct is to fix. To make it better like he always has. 

It’s on the tip of his tongue to tell him of Horner’s concerned frown as he’d pushed Michael into the awaiting car to be with him, to help him. But he can’t help but selfishly think of his own feelings still burning away inside of him. 

How Daniel ought to know what it felt like for him as his heart had leapt right out of his chest the second he’d hit the wall. What it felt like for him when Daniel cut him out of his life like that because he dared to offer a different perspective on his life decisions like any good friend would. 

Michael berates himself immediately and wonders when it became a competition between them. An us versus them kinda deal. Him or RedBull. 

Wonders if he was this much of an asshole all along. 

Daniel had asked, he’d answered. No. No, he did not think it a good idea to go back to RedBull. But Daniel had taken it with all the grace and comprehension of an elephant. Accused him of being non supportive when he was only trying to be anything but. Just like he’s trying— failing— to do at the moment. 

Sighing out loud, Michael lets the opportunity to say I told you so go. Lets it all go. Because it’s not about him. Or them. Then or now. 

“Look.” He starts. “They love you so fucking much I have no doubt that they’ve already lined up an IV full of stroopwafles for you. The best money can buy.” 

“Is that so?” Daniel says, practically preening under the attention of the admission. Michael just sees how fragile he looks.

Even when you take away the bandages, the sling, even the bags of exhaustion under his eyes, he knows that cocky bravado is just a front for all Daniel’s insecurities and the things he won’t say. How he’s hanging on Michael’s words to believe him. 

The car comes to a stop. They’re at the hospital now. Michael feels Daniel tense up beside him. He  scoots closer, as if to hide Daniel from the hoards of fans tapping at the glass. He knows they only mean well but they are still demanding time and attention from him now, phones at the ready and already pointing in their faces like weapons. 

Michael moves again to make sure their knees are touching. Smiles when it’s enough to still Daniel’s own. 

“Yeah.” He swallows. “Yeah I do. This is your show, man.” 

“And what if I said I wanted to steal a wheelchair before they start thinking about cutting me open and harvesting me for parts to give to the junior program?” 

Michael looks to where the doctors are already out of the car, shaking hands with someone from the hospital emergency department to greet them in a white coat—obviously another doctor. Someone pretty important with the way three nurses follow in his wake. 

All for a broken arm, Michael scoffs. 

This level of scrutiny, of care, should hardly surprise him. RedBull have invested way too much money into Daniel and his body for them to give up the chance of losing it and the skills it’s cultivated now. He’s not gonna tell Daniel that though. 

From the tone Daniel had used— half-softening the blow from his own depleted expectations, half cautious— Michael is aware Daniel is checking if he’s as committed as he says he is. If he can be trusted with the truth of how scared about this all he actually is. 

Michael knows what to say this time. 

“Then I’ll get you a scalpel to fight back with. Whatever it takes.”  

And he means it. Especially later, as he’s standing back in the paddock, listening to Daniel’s order of events. He’s scowling at Marko for constantly interrupting to find out exactly when Daniel will be back to full function again. 

Daniel plays it up. The grin on his face and the erratic movement of his one, good arm says he’s thoroughly enjoying the way he’s keeping him in suspense. Helmut’s eyebrow seems to climb higher and higher the more Daniel ignores him, continuing his story about when they were plastering his arm. At how lost in translation the word mummy had got and the extra concussion tests they made him do because of it. 

To the side, amongst Daniel’s laughter, Christian slaps Michael on the back and says, “Everything turned out as well as it should then.” 

“Yeah.” Michael agrees softly, leaving it at that. 

Of course he could tell Christian about the way he had to bribe Daniel to get into the cat scan machine— just in case— giving him a running commentary on the topography of his brain like a David Attenborough video to keep him still and calm in the enclosed space. 

Or about the fact that Michael had to fill out all the forms presented to them because he apparently knows more about Daniel’s medical needs and history than he even did. Or their doctor. 

Or even how he ended up calling Daniel’s parents for him to tell them he was fine— not even a concussion, Grace. Not a screw any looser than what it was, I promise— because no one at RedBull apparently had yet. 

But he suspects Christian already knows all this. 

That’s why he sent him, after all. 

Knowing he needs to get back to the garage, to Yuki and his actual job, Michael gives Christian a single, appreciative nod. Giving respect where respect is due to the only other person he trusts here to do what’s best for Daniel and not just a driver for RedBull. 

Coming up behind them, he gives Daniel a conspiratory wink as he interrupts the conversation, “Just so you know, I do happen to own a scalpel.” 

Helmut looks confused. Michael doesn’t care. Simply enjoys the sound of Daniel’s laughter, the way he dares him to whip it out right there in front of their bosses. 

Daniel is fine. 

[whateversawesome]

Spy x Family Chapter 97: An Old Love Story

Okay, say it with me: FOIL!

You can see it too, right? Looks like Martha x Henry (Henderson)'s story is a foil of Twilight and Yor's story.

Henderson was in Twilight's place; the smart, lonely young man so focused on his ideals that he was blind about who was in front of him and his very own feelings.

Martha was in Yor's place, the strong and graceful girl too young and inexperienced to know her own heart and that she was in love.

This is exactly what's happening with Twiyor, the main couple of the story, and I think we may get to see one of the possible endings for our beloved Twiyor through Martha and Henderson story.

Now, what do we know about these two 🤔...

We know that Henry Henderson has a daughter and a son-in-law. It was mentioned he writes to them, but there was no mention of his wife. This leads me to believe that:

His wife is no longer alive.

He lives with his wife, so there's no reason for him to write to her.

He is divorced.

So, with this information we still can't know what's the current relationship between Martha and Henry, but we can take a guess 😉

From the way the story is being told, it almost feels like it's a semi-tragic love story, doesn't it? We can almost assume that they didn't end up together...or did they?

Theory one: Yup, everyone is right and Martha and Henderson eventually went their separate ways for reasons we'll probably get to know in the next couple of chapters.

If this theory is right, I think it's beautiful that they are getting a second chance 💖They certainly look more mature, confident, and calm (also elegant!). I love the way they look at each other, so much trust and love 😌

Theory two: I know this one is a long shot (and Henderson just said in that panel that "She is merely and old friend") but maybe...they're actually married. Why am I so bold to even consider that possibility?! Well, there's this panel:

The matron is clearly teasing Master Henderson, don't you agree? If she does it, it's because she knows something. Either she knows that there was something between those two in their youth or she knows they are married. I don't know, but they way she said the word "partner" and the fact that Master Henderson is married made me think that Martha is his wife. I know, I know...it's a remote possibility, but you have to remember that marriage is mentioned a lot through different characters and couples during the story, so maybe those two were actually married. (But, it's quite possible it's theory one).

Other things to consider...

How long have Ostania and Westalis been at war?

My guess is that we're talking about two different wars between the same countries; very much like WWI and WWII, where there was a brief period of peace before a second conflict. So, probably the first war started while Henderson was in his 20s and the second war started when he was in his 40s (and Twilight was a kid).

It makes a lot of sense that now they're in a period of "Cold War", just like in real life.

The Garden

I am convinced that the Garden is involved in this. I've talked about this before (read it here). After this chapter, I still think the Garden is going to pop up. Want some evidence?

Do you recognize this guy?

That's right 😏 That's Matthew McMahon. What is he doing there? Too much of a coincidence, don't you think?

And also the way this is phrased:

Odd that there was a mention of the word Garden, isn't it? And the fact that the whole story between those two takes place in a garden...🤔

In addition to that, in a previous chapter, Twilight observes how Martha moves like a soldier. Franky mentioned earlier that Garden people are like soldiers. And the Garden has a history of recruiting young skilled/strong people, like Yor. Things keep adding up.

The Consequences of War

This is a prevalent theme throughout the whole SxF universe: how war (violence, intolerance, manipulation of information, propaganda, politics) has affected the life of all the characters.

No matter their background, nationality or education, we've seen it again and again with most of the characters big or small, like Twilight, Franky, Sylvia, Millie, and now we're about to see it with characters from an older generation like Martha and Henderson.

My guess is that this won't be the last time and this pattern will continue while the story lasts. I think what the story is trying to show us is how war is seen by some (politicians and men in power like Desmond) as a natural, inevitable course of action, but at the same time how brutal the consequences are in the smallest stories. That's one of the things that is truly remarkable about SxF.

[guxciestone]

🥂 ❛ SATURN AND THE 27 CLUB ༉‧₊˚ ˚୨୧

(how saturn affected the lives of the members of the 27 club)

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the 27 club and the conspiracies behind it have always intrigued me. i always wondered if there were any astrological connections between the members and their consequential deaths. if you have any post suggestions, i’m willing to consider them. i hope you’re having an amazing day and enjoy !!🫶🏽🤍

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what is the 27 club?

The 27 club is a popular informal list of musicians, actors, athletes and other famous people who consequently died at 27 due to overdoses, suicides, homicides, addictions, and other mysterious circumstances. The first ever recorded member of this club was Robert Johnson, the first ever rockstar. There have been multiple theories surrounding Robert’s rise to fame and his death. The most popular story was that Robert got his immaculate guitar talent from making a deal with Satan at a crossroads.

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This club has developed the notion that most celebrities tend to die at that age. Additionally, most celebrities, especially the musicians, had high-risk lifestyles. The 27 club has become a cultural phenomenon and conspiracy theory that the public and other celebrities have become aware of. In Mac Miller’s song “Brand Name”, he mentions, “To everyone who sell me drugs: Don’t mix it with that bullshit, I’m hopin’ not to join the 27 Club.” Mac Miller passed away at the age of 26 on September 7, 2018 due to a drug overdose, 4 months from his 27th birthday, almost making it into the club. The celebrities from the 27 Club I am including in this blog are: Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Brian Jones, and Jim Morrison. They were all popular musicians.

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the theory of saturn and selling your soul

The main conspiracy that goes around as to why these famous individuals made into this club is because they may have decided to attain their desire of fame and fortune in exchange for their soul and tragic death at the age of 27. Although I do not wholeheartedly believe in this theory, it is still fascinating to consider what if this could’ve been the case for all of these stars’ deaths? Especially when there may be an astrological theory that supports it.

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Saturn is the planet of contracts, deals, and promises. This planet is infamous for bringing back karma or lessons when an obligation or promise has been broken or put to a halt, which signifies the “deal” that these celebrities make with the devil, and if the deal doesn’t perform the way it should, the person has to endure the consequences. It makes it even more convincing that in tarot the “Devil” card is ruled by Saturn.

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my theory on saturn and the 27 club

It is intriguing how all of these celebrities died at the age of 27, it makes you wonder, “What is significant about that age?” and “What did these celebrities specifically do differently than other celebrities to experience a death at that age?” After researching articles and creating my own observations, I’ve made my own theory as to how Saturn could have affected the 27 Club.

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Saturn is the planet of responsibility, maturity, and obligations. It is the reality that catches up to us when we have to grow up and take accountability for our true duties. It is the planet that we are so afraid of due to the harshness and honesty it beholds for us when it is time. At the age of 27-29 years old, every individual undergoes a Saturn Return—which is when all of that exactly happens. It is the time in which you have to take responsibility for your problems, issues, and wounds, and realize that it is up to you to create the life you need and deserve. This return is a wake-up call for individuals who suffer from addictions, mental health issues, self-esteem issues, and much more. Saturn gives you that wake-up call by giving you the karma for the reality you’ve created for yourself so far, because karma isn’t necessarily just about what you do to others, but also what you do to yourself. This may pertain to the deaths of the members of the 27 Club.

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Next, I am going to interpret each of the members’ Saturn placements to see how their Saturn Return affected them personally.

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NOTE: I am simply reading the aspects of these celebrities for entertainment and curiosity purposes; I obviously did not know them personally, and these interpretations may be incorrect. I hope you enjoy it.

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♡ amy winehouse ♡

Saturn in Scorpio in the 6th house

This indicates that Amy Winehouse may have had deep-rooted issues involving her self-care, habits, and health. There was this struggle to develop a close and intimate relationship with one’s personal wellbeing, and anything that interfered with that could have affected her. It is publicly known that Amy struggled with drug and alcohol addiction during her time and additionally dealt with other health problems such as bulimia. There were times where she repeatedly refused to go to rehab or get help. Before her Saturn Return, there may have been subconscious refusal to accept the problems that would’ve come from not taking much care of herself, and the only time when there would be acceptance of these problems is when it is too late because Saturn allows you to pick up the pieces of what you’ve put out for yourself as an adult. However, with maturity, this placement gives the individual the ability to dig deep into the depths of their nature and spirit to get to know themselves and satisfy their needs, wants, and desires in the most healthiest and effective way possible.

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Moon in Capricorn in the 7th house sextile Saturn

There is a sense of maturity and seriousness when it comes to one’s emotional fulfillment. Winehouse valued her personal relationships as it gave her a sense of security and personal contentment. It may have been particularly harder for her to express this to her closest people, considering the fact that emotions and vulnerability might have not been her forte (Capricorn) However, she also held her personal connections to a high standard–she might have held boundaries, rules, and restrictions towards her loved ones. If she sees that someone is not behaving in the way she desires, she could easily cut them off. This would have been helpful for her in developing a sense of self-respect and maintaining her well-being and health as it could help prevent attracting people into her life that could influence her in the worst ways, such as developing addictions from partners.

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Uranus in Sagittarius in the 6th sextile Saturn

Amy may have been an individual who was interested in sudden changes and unique circumstances in her work and routine. She would likely struggle in a workplace or environment that requires her to hold order and normality. She worked better in areas in which she can be independent, make her own schedule, and create her own flow. However, this placement can indicate unexpected changes in health as well–considering Amy had a 6th house stellium, health could have been an important part of her life. It seems that Winehouse would be able to maintain her sense of wellbeing and habits in a progressive and helpful way by allowing herself to create her own sense of routine. Perhaps using unique and healthy mediums of self-care would have helped (such as meditation, journaling, herbs–anything unconventional, but promising for her)

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Pluto in Libra in the 6th conjunct Saturn

This indicates that Amy had a strong sense of ambition, focus, and determination. She might have had a strong need to succeed, worked hard and pushed herself to her limits. This willpower is beneficial in helping her progress in her wellbeing and habits, especially considering that this aspect indicates sudden changes and transformations in health–either for the best or worst. However, Winehouse may have easily worked herself to poor health such as burnout and exhaustion. Additionally, individuals with this placement are often good at keeping secrets and holding their ambitions to their chest. Not to mention, they are more than likely to struggle with pessimism and this aspect can magnify realism to a huge extent.

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♡ kurt cobain ♡

Saturn in Pisces in the 7th house

This indicates the struggle to allow vulnerability and unconditional love submerge into one’s interpersonal relationships. Cobain was a sensitive, emotional, and imaginative individual who desired to hold his connections and loved ones closely. However, he might have had an issue with developing closeness in these relationships due to the fear of intimacy and being loved. Cobain could have had habits of isolating himself, distancing himself from potential connections, or developing loneliness. It was known that Kurt dealt with mental health issues such as depression. Although we are not sure of what caused Kurt’s depression, there are things we know about his life. Firstly, his parents divorced when he was young, and secondly, he also struggled with drug addiction with heroin.

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Venus in Pisces in the 7th conjunct Saturn

This indicates that one presents a loving and compassionate nature to partners and interpersonal connections. Cobain handled his relationships with a sense of selflessness and often held a huge imagination about and glamorized his partners. However, with this particular aspect, it may have been harder for him to express this true character to the people he loves and cares about–as transparency may have been one thing he struggled with. It seems that there is this fear of becoming codependent, needy, or illusioned in the realms of romance, so one tends to push themselves away from the possibility of connections with others. Furthermore, with the energy in Pisces, there could be a sense of melancholy or loneliness when he separates himself from the very relationships he longs for.

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Jupiter in Cancer in the 10th house trine Saturn

Cobain had an excellent sense of discipline as well as optimism and faith in his goals and aspirations. He was meant to be successful in the realms music, art, and creativity as he had the ability to deeply connect with the public and accentuate special emotions and feelings in the audience while maintaining a sense of realism within his imagination. He was fairly hardworking and career success came to him naturally; and it seems that Cobain would have benefited vastly from doing this. He could have found that developing professional yet close connections with the public, his audience, and business partners would have helped him miraculously in his journey towards being vulnerable with others and developing knitted and unconditional relationships.

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Midheaven in Gemini square Saturn

Kurt had the ability to communicate and express himself through mediums in his career, whether that be music, writing, teaching, and much more–it was in his path. However, it is possible that there could have been particular career blockages. Perhaps Cobain refused to integrate with the people and develop business connections with others, which could have made him struggle with expressing himself successfully to the public. He may have felt like he could not portray his image too well because of this, and it may have felt like nobody understood him and his image. Due to this, it could have been easy for Cobain to fall into deeper depression while in the public eye because it may have been another reminder of his lack of connections.

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♡ jimi hendrix ♡

Saturn in Gemini in the 6th house

There is this struggle of learning and taking advice from one’s peers in regards to your nature of order, routine, health, and responsibilities. Perhaps Hendrix lacked a sense of accountability in how he took care of himself or the habits he adapted. Perhaps he was the type to not be that interested in the regular workplace, schedules, or environment. He struggled with maintaining order in spontaneousness and control. However, it may be the other way around–perhaps there was a lack of accountability in being a workaholic, overworking himself, or pushing himself to his unforeseen limits. Peers, friends, or family members may have tried to consult him but there could have been the refusal to listen or abide. Apparently, although Hendrix did not suffer from drug addiction like most of the 27 Club members, he did have a fair fixation with alcohol, and there were times when he would get violent and abusive under the influence. There was even a time in which he had a physical altercation with his girlfriend while drunk.

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Sun in Sagittarius in the 11th house opposition Saturn

Jimi was a bohemian at heart. He lived his life in authenticity through rejoicing with others, exploring the horizons, and taking in a huge amount of knowledge. Hendrix had the core value of enjoying the present and taking in all that you can; however, he also was an advocate of being involved and gaining experience with his community. He could have been fairly popular and likable. Nevertheless, this aspect can indicate that the influence of friends or social groups could have easily led Hendrix to an irresponsible and careless path in regards to his obligations and wellbeing. There would not be a surprise if he got into alcohol or drugs though friends, cousins, communities or peers. Matter of fact, during his drug trial, Hendrix admitted that he found doses of LSD and marijuana through gifts at a fan club meeting for the Beatles.

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Mercury in Sagittarius in the 11th house opposition Saturn

Hendrix had the ability to attain incredible amounts of wisdom and was more than likely an intelligent individual. He was an expansive, open-minded, yet benevolent thinker; he was always willing to learn and challenge new customs and ideologies. He may have been particularly interested in social issues, his hopes and dreams, and connecting with communities. Furthermore, he could have been involved with many different groups of people, making him fairly known. However, there is a struggle with expressing himself through his means of communication, learning, being heard, and verbal expression. There could have been an imbalance in where to put his mental energy–either in expanding his horizons and indulging in new learning experiences or restricting himself to his duties and responsibilities. It may have been difficult for him to connect with others and he often felt distant from his peers, friends, and communities. He struggled between handling his work and advocating with his people.

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♡ janis joplin ♡

Saturn in Gemini in the 3rd house

This indicates an individual struggling with expressing oneself, connecting with others, and learning through peers when it comes to areas of communicating, their mindset, and thinking processes. Joplin was a mature, disciplined, and rigid thinker; she was wise and precise in the facts and messages she took in. She could have been an eloquent communicator as well. She was known for her strong and enduring three octave voice. However, this placement could manifest as her possibly struggling with communicating with others or developing connections with her peers and social groups. She may have been stubborn in receiving advice from her equals, and could have also struggled with negative thinking or pessimism. Apparently, when Joplin was in high school, she was one of the few to vocally oppose segregation amongst students, she endured bullying from racists and her peers. Furthermore, she was fairly a good student and popular until highschool–when she started to rebel and dress differently from other girls.

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Chiron in Leo in the 7th house square Saturn

This indicates that Janis has a wound surrounding self-expression and connecting with her true self in her interpersonal relationships. She may have struggled with feeling genuine within her romantic connections; she could have felt that she had to fight to be heard and understood by her partners. There could have been conveniences in which she felt the need to distance herself from her love affairs due to feelings of being misheard or misunderstood.

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Venus in Aquarius in the 12th house trine Saturn

Joplin was an electrifying, unpredictable, and quirky partner. She might have chosen different and special kinds of people to integrate into her love life. She thrived from eccentricity, and she desired to try new things in the matters of romance. However, she had a mystifying quality in regards to love. She was an idealist, and often had a huge imagination for her partners. She could have idolized them or put them on a pedestal. She may have dreamed about having the “perfect” lover too. She was fairly compassionate and giving towards the people she loves and cares about. This placement could also point to being a part of the LGBTQ+ community because Janis strived for unique partners and may have preferred it behind closed doors. There were tons of speculations that Joplin was lesbian, or at least bisexual, considering she had a long-term relationship with Peggy Caserta and went to gay bars before marrying her fiance Seth Morgan. Nevertheless, Joplin has innate ability to express her opinions, thoughts, and mind processes through these distinctive and thrilling connections because perhaps she felt could demonstrate her true self. This also made her a mature and stable lover as well, she was persistent and thoughtful in the matters of love.

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Midheaven in Sagittarius opposition Saturn

Janis was seen as a rebellious, hippy, jubilant, and outgoing individual in the public eye; however, the issue surrounding the relationship with her peers growing up and her struggles with feeling heard, connected, and understood by them still ran deep in her heart. She might have compensated for this lack of community or fellowship by pursuing his career endeavors, which could have been beneficial to her to an extent. It was mentioned that Janis escaped her day-to-day issues in school by diving in her passion for music and art. However, this aspect calls for one avoiding the actual issue and not being willing to fix it, which could have hurt her in the long run. There was a need to resolve the broken connection there is with associates and her immediate community and allow herself to express her thoughts and be understood and comprehended for who she is.

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♡ brian jones ♡

Saturn in Taurus in 9th house

The Rolling Stones member had a deliberate, cautious and organized mind when it came to his materialistic and mental assets in life. He may have had the fear of losing his financial security, depending on others, or lacking foundation in his life whether that be with money, relationships, or success. Furthermore, Jones had a firm and solid foundation of values and morals that he was stubborn to changing. He was intelligent and had the ability to maintain his views. He may have grown up with rigid beliefs in the household, and it may have been particularly difficult for him to change the beliefs he had surrounding security, stability, and his foundations. It has been said that Brian dropped out of college due to the fact he disliked the conformity and discipline of it, although he performed very well and was intelligent at a young age.

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Mars in Taurus in the 9th house conjunct Saturn

Jones was a disciplined, fairly motivated, and meticulous man. He was persistent and consistent when it came to his goals and aspirations. At some point in his life, graduating from college may have been an important thing for him to accomplish. This also indicates that he pursued his dreams and ambitions with the desire for security and stability in mind. However, this aspect can point to one being stuck in accomplishing their goals, whether that be from overworking, refusing to learn from failures, or pessimism.

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Mercury in Aquarius in the 5th house square Saturn

This indicates that Brian Jones struggled with mediums of communication, learning and interacting with his immediate community. He could have had issues with expressing his unique and exciting talents due to his inhibited and stubborn views and morals. Perhaps at some point, college may have prevented him from pursuing music and producing, and it made him feel misunderstood and disconnected from his versatility and creative processes. This could also point to using detrimental vices to compensate for the lack of connection with one’s hobbies and pleasures (such as addictions, investing in endeavors you aren’t interested in, punishments, and much more)

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♡ jim morrison ♡

Saturn in Gemini in the 5th house

Morrison was an intelligent, critical, and versatile individual. His special abilities were being creative and deliberate in solving problems, speaking his mind with eloquence, and handling long-term projects. However, there seems to be an issue with balance between being too reckless and feeble-minded and too critical and stubborn in the acts of creative endeavors and joys in life. It may have been hard for Jim to indulge in his hobbies, affairs, or even considering children. Morrison did not have any children nor did he have a good relationship with his parents, so all of his will went to his girlfriend.

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Chiron in Virgo in the 7th house square Saturn

Morrison has a wound surrounding the criticality, order, and sensibility. He may have had a strong sense of perfectionism and judgment when it came to his interpersonal relationships. Perhaps growing up he had to deal with harsh and fault-finding parents, friends, siblings, or partners. It could have caused him to develop a feeling of inadequacy–like he is not good enough. According to Morrison, his parents had “immense discipline” growing up and would have military-like punishments such as dressing down. He reportedly mentioned how he distanced himself from his parents over the years. This feeling of inadequacy may have caused Jim to develop a critical, self-inflicting behavior when it comes to him enjoying his personal endeavors, affairs, casual relationships, or hobbies.

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Sun in Sagittarius in the 10th house opposition Saturn

Morrison was a career-oriented individual who valued learning new things, expanding his knowledge, and experiencing new excitement through his professional endeavors and public image. However, he may have noticed that over time, prioritizing his legacy, image, and success could cause him to distance himself from his true passions and leisures. This may have influenced serious, “wet blanket” behavior and possibly becoming overly critical and strict himself.

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[codenamethebird]

Ok here's a little (not really) analysis/theory post about Hades 2, because I'm obsessed. Its consumed all my thoughts. And I need to talk about a theme I think will (hopefully) be addressed as the game progresses.

Here's some examples of dialogue that starts to touch on this conflict between mortals and the gods. What exactly do mortals deserve? We also have literal Icarus "flew too close to the sun" here too (and probably Pandora). Chronos was able to sway many to his side with a promise of a golden age without the gods, which is presented by the narrative as a foolish venture. And not saying it isn't, or that Chronos is the secret good guy here, but I believe Chronos is taking advantage of a very real hurt that exists for mortals.

This line from Nemesis really stood out to me, because it implies that while mortals have a concept of evil, the gods don't. Which sounds ridiculous but the more you think about it makes total sense. The gods in Hades (and just greek myth in general), are kind of the worst. They are petty and selfish, they literally attack you if their boon isn't picked first, and most vitally in this context, often utterly disregard mortals.

For example, one of the things that drove me a little crazy in Hades 1, was how chill everyone was with Demeter's never ending winter. Demeter was killing possibly millions upon millions of mortals and everyone else just sort of let it happen. Maybe complained a bit because it was annoying to them, but just stood by. And that's just one example. Mortal's have a very valid reason to hate the gods.

And considering we have more areas of the surface to explore that aren't out yet, I have a feeling Melinoë is going to be meeting some of these discontent mortals. And my hope is they are going to be nuanced characters, that will challenge Melinoë not just in a fight, but her very ideals.

Because Melinoë is very deferential to the gods, waaaaaay more that Zag ever was. Unlike Zag, who was more like a bro to them and was willing to suck up to them for personal gain, Melinoë seems to genuinely mean all the respect she gives them. She praises them, defends them when they are insulted, and just generally very polite to them.

In a smaller scale, she describes Hypnos as having a wisdom about him and can somehow sense her intensions while asleep. Which as Nem implies, the version in Melinoë's head doesn't exactly line up with reality (though sidebar, I am a believer in Chekov's Hypnos and that he's going to somehow save the day and put Chronos in a never ending sleep or something, but that's beside the point haha).

Melinoë's reverence to the gods makes total sense of course. She was denied her family and a happy childhood, and because of that has glorified them all in her head. The Olympians are sending her vital aid on her holy mission for vengeance and to save her family, even as their own home is being attacked, how honorable of them!

And I think part of Melinoë's arc is that perfect picture of them breaking into pieces. Yes, they are the better of the two options between them and Chronos, but that doesn't mean they aren't also kind of the worst. That mortals deserve better than frivolous gods that can decide on a whim their fates for better or worse (love u Moros but I'm still fucked up over you and your sisters giving mortals horrible doom endings when you were bored. At least he feels bad now but still. Perfect example of gods even when not intending to having horrific consequences for mortals). And maybe like how Zag healed relations with his family, Melinoë can start repairing relations between the Gods and Mortals.

[allbark-no-bite]

Maniac || Rafe Cameron x reader

summary: she’s dancing in the kitchen while Rafe’s falling in love

word count: 1.7k

warnings: 18+ smut

author’s note: inspired loosely by Macklemore’s ‘Maniac’

He's laughing now, low and attractive, his pearly teeth on display. His crossed arms bounce against his chest as it rumbles. From the radio sat on the counter, music bounces through the expanse of the kitchen.

"I am not dancing with you."

"C'mon! Get over yourself, Cameron!"

Warm, lemon yellow light slowly creeps across the white kitchen walls, and it makes her hair flash a rich golden color as she twirls through the sunbeams.

Rafe remembers exactly when he fell in love with her because it was a moment similar to this one. She's half dressed, dancing in the kitchen in her tube socks. Her hair is a mess, falling out of the already sloppy bun it's been thrown in, and he's not even sure she's wearing anything under the billowy mass of his shirt. The buttons are misaligned and he's half hoping it will fall further down her shoulder just so he can prove his theory.

God, does she get on his nerves. "Of you? Or looking like an idiot?" Rafe braces himself against the countertop, his lean body relaxed.

Right now he's just content to watch her, socked feet sliding against the white kitchen tile as she does what he has to admit is a fairly decent impression of the moonwalk. Thankfully he doesn't speak too soon because she stumbles over her own feet at the end, catching herself just before she hits the floor.

Rafe just shakes his head, blue eyes shining with a light that only she can put in them. "You're a maniac." His heart hurts. He wishes this wasn't so complicated.

Rafe met (y/n) through Topper, his best friend since grade school. Consequently, Topper was also (y/n)'s older brother. Now, he wants to make this point clear, he never set out to fuck his best friend's kid sister. Shit just happens. He had always liked her, of course, but everyone did. She didn't rat out anything they did at parties, and she was always down to hang out and do... other things. His favorite of those things being the time they had sex in the backseat of Topper's jeep. They'd emerged an hour later, faces hot and clothes rumpled, and returned back to the party as if nothing happened.

Rafe is sure Topper knows he's doing less than decent things with his little sister — they did leave his car reeking of sex for the whole next week — but for the most part, they keep whatever is between them under wraps. She says it's because she doesn't want to hurt her brother if things go south. Rafe knows it's because she's seventeen and doesn't want to commit to anything she doesn't have to.

"We aren't dating, Rafe. You know that."

He's just proposed that they go with Kelce and his girlfriend to the golf club tomorrow.

"Bullshit," he laughs, grinning from ear to ear. She was bad for him, her and her flighty indecisiveness, but so were a lot of other things he did. Rafe figured there were worse things that could kill him.

"You'll get over me eventually. I promise."

He's really grinning now because he knows she's all talk. "Sure," he relents, playing along for the sake of the conversation. "And when I don't?"

She's rolling her eyes now but still smiling as he takes her hand and twirls her around, her toes twirling delicately across the kitchen floor. "You're just like my brother. You'll find another Sarah Cameron and move on with your life."

He actually scoffs at that. "I'd rather not think about the things your brother does to my sister."

"I'm sure Top feels the same way," she refutes, sidling closer to Rafe until they're nearly pressed chest to chest. The collar of the shirt has slidden off her shoulder, well below her collarbone, and still there's no bra strap in sight. He swallows, a hand sliding up the back of her bare thigh to cup the curve of her backside and pull her closer to him.

She must notice his tentativeness because she offers him a cheeky look, cupping her hand over his own. "No need to be shy. If you're going to touch me then get going with it."

Rafe's blue eyes flit to hers, and the corner of his mouth quirks up into a shy smile, as if he's been caught contemplating and she read his mind. His other hand glides up her shirt, reveling at the warmth of her skin before sliding home. The bud of her breast pebbles under the swipe of his thumb and she shivers.

"What's wrong with being shy?" he mumbles, his head ducking to mouth at the cavern of her collarbone. Her body is warm and impossibly alive in his hands. There are often times like this one that he cannot fathom the fact that like him, she is a living, breathing person. He can feel her heart thumping under the weight of his palm, almost unbearably alive.

The tent in his pants must betray him because she laughs. "Rafe Cameron, you have never been shy a day in your life." Her hips grind up into his and he muffles a groan into her skin. He would say she knows him too well but really there's no hiding what's happening in his pants.

His fingers tug down at her shirt as he cranes his neck lower to mouth at the tender swell of her breast. A pleased sound escapes her. Before she can grip him through his shorts, he swiftly grabs her wrist, placing it instead on his waist. "Later," he huffs. His dick can wait.

When her hand again slips past the waistband of his boxer, his teeth catch her skin, reprimanding her. "Later, dammit," Rafe scolds, but there's no bite to his voice. He's smiling again as he kisses the welp better. His hands are on her waist, thumbs digging in below her hipbones to pull her body into his. Her fingers are in his hair, tickling his scalp and making him sigh into her skin. Rafe smoothes his tongue over the hickey forming on the top of her breast, making sure to attend to the other side as well.

With her hands still in his hair, Rafe drops to his knees on the kitchen tile. He is very, very pleased to find that she is not wearing panties. Narrowing his blue eyes, he shoots her a knowing glare. "You're nothing but trouble, kid."

Her hands tangled in his hair push his head back down. "You sound like you're trying to catch a case calling me that."

Rafe laughs at her impatience. At first he had been painfully aware of their three year age gap. She was Topper's litter sister for god's sake — practically a baby when he was a senior in high school. That number has faded over the years but it doesn't mean he doesn't like to tease her.

Grinning, his nose drags along the tan of her bikini line. She smells like sun tan oil and something he can't quite place. He would like to linger a while longer to figure it out but he's afraid she'll get too impatient with him.

Palms griping the backs of her thighs, he licks through her folds. The contact makes her body jump, but her fingers tighten as much as they can in his cropped hair, forcing his face closer. He just knows his jaw is going to ache tomorrow. Is it actually good head if it doesn't? He doesn't think so.

Rafe drags his tongue up to her clit before sucking at it. She squeaks at this, legs quivering beside his head. Just when he thinks she's going to lose her balance, she thankfully grabs on to the counter behind her before they both topple to the floor.

"Holy..." she begins, but doesn't even finish her sentence.

Grunting, Rafe has to force his wide shoulders in between her knees to keep them open as he laps at her. His tongue dips further into her, causing his nose to nudge her clit each time his mouth explores her further.

Eventually he becomes more insistent with his actions, lapping at her clit until she's whimpering, sensitive to the point that he doesn't know if she's more keen on shoving his head towards her or pushing it away. She comes with a cry, squirming in his hands as his tongue finishes the job properly.

"Oh god, I love you. Please. Fuck, you're— Right there."

Rafe pulls away just a fraction to breathe. "What'd you say?"

He's sure she can still feel his hot breath against her weeping cunt. There's arousal leaking down her thighs and he can feel it dripping down from his chin to his neck.

Panting, her cheeks are flushed as she looks down at him, but he has a feeling it's not from him. "What?" she stammers. "Nothing."

He grins cheshire-like up at her. His hands rub the backs of her thighs soothingly before squeezing her calfs. "You said the "L" word," he accuses.

Her eyes widen in realization. "No. No, I didn't," she protests.

Rafe rises to his feet, hands trailing up her body as his smile grows wider. She's trapped between his body and the counter and has no choice but to try and dodge him as he tries to catch her eyes. "What was it?" He taunts, laughing. "Say it again, baby?"

She tries to cover her face with her hands but with Rafe's overpowering strength, the attempt is useless. Even hiding halfway behind her arms, he can tell she's smiling. "I didn't! I didn't say anything!"

"C'mon! Baby. Baby, look at me." Rafe pulls her her rigid arms away from her face and holds them out to either side of her head. "Hey, I said look at me."

Leveling his gaze with her, they lock eyes for a moment, neither saying anything. Although her expression is fairly calm, if not a little pensive, he can tell she’s searching his face for a reaction. Timidly, he presses his lips to hers, stealing a chaste kiss before pulling away again.

“I love you too.”

[demodraws0606]

What Cyberpunk DeadBoy Means and What it's Potentially Foreshadowing (aka very complicated analysis that makes a lot of sense and could happen depending on how colorpalet is feeling while writing the story)

Now I'm seeing so many people like running around wondering what this event could mean for the future for multiple reasons and like I've made like one post throwing my hat into the ring.

I've been frustrated with people's unwillingness to realise that this comm is prob foreshadowing because this is not the first time Colorpalet has hidden foreshadowing into comms weither subtely or not

Exemple's being :

-Akito's second comm foreshadowing his third event

-Lower's cover art literally foreshadowing what would happen to Mafuyu's phone in her event

-88 vocals being emurui and nenekasa foreshadowing the kind of dynamic the disbandement arc had with nenekasa wanting to move forward with emurui being scared of isolation

-Probably way better exemples that I forgot

I've seen people make Some assumptions which I don't agree with but there is one thing I think is true

There is 100 pourcent gonna be struggle between corporation/reality and WxS.

Purely because that's been WxS's entire theme since the beginning. They constantly bash you over the head with the theme of compromising with reality and the importance of dreams. In fact the pick of Maiki-P is not at all surprising as he basically has the same message WxS has just... well harsher.

The Big thing people have ignored however is by focusing on the lyrics, they've ignored something that's personally to me even more telling and that's the line distribution

We know for a fact colorpalet loves to mess around with line distribution, weither it's to make characters say lines that fit them or to kind of foreshadow their headspace.

Now something Big happens with the line distribution of Cyberpunk Deadboy that i've seen NO ONE notice and that's in the last chorus (that and also Tsukasa's lines which people have pointed out but it works less on it's own which is why I'm gonna analyse his lines afterwards).

This is the only time the chorus is like that, the others have a much more even distribution.

In fact the distribution choice makes it look like the rest of WxS is Talking to Rui.

It's even more evident considering the lines they chose to make WxS sing compared to only just Rui

Emu/Tsukasa/Nene saying kimi (you)

Rui saying boku (i)

Which honestly makes me think this is colorpalet foreshadowing some kind of issue reguarding specifically Rui. Remember Emu's second event ? The story of Rilley whose imagination was crippled by the industry to the point where he didn't really have any artistic vision until Emu's grandpa helped him.

In fact remember how the flashback that showcases that has Rilley working on a film

Now we get to Tsukasa's line which have been pointed out to be kind of sus but it's not just his lines.

Tsukasa refuses to sing with Rui (unless it's a line they all sing together but i consider those exceptions). In fact pretty much everyone has a duo line with each other except those two.

In fact in the section where Rui has duo lines with everybody, Tsukasa is the only one he doesnt sing with and the visuals make it clear that it's something that we're supposed to find strange

And then we of course have Tsukasa's solo lines

Tsukasa is the only one that say "fuzakeruna" outside of Rui (of course ignoring entire group WxS lines) and i've seen some people pointed out how it sounds like he's saying it in response to Rui's lines. Which I agree with.

Then we got his big boy solo lines

These lines will make more sense with my theory/analysis but right now if we go with the idea that WxS in the last chorus were speaking to Rui and Tsukasa in this comm refuses to sing with Rui then this implies those lines are Tsukasa speaking to Rui.

And this is where the insanity begins because people have pointed out a concerning trend with Ruikasa that I know some people use for shipping fuel but for me kinda feels more so like foreshadowing.

IGNORING all the ARG ass weirdness of the Fixer 2dmv, this choice to switch Ruikasa's colors have to mean something in my opinion outside of just wholesome shipping influence especially considering the two songs they do this are less than jovial.

What this kind of color switching signifies to me is that, Ruikasa somehow are/or will switch places.

And with that let me bring back Tsukasa's lines

These lines stand out because Tsukasa before remembering his dreams was extremely shallow only doing things for fame and probably the money that would come with it.

Now if you think about everything I've layed out I think you can gain a pretty clear picture.

Of Rui falling into the trap Rilley did, becoming jaded and losing the true motivation of his dream (or at least starting to have doubts). Becoming stuck with the struggle of managing dreams and reality.

Rui's costume even has a mask which can be a metaphor for his artistic voice and individuality being silenced .

Which now you get into the line distribution where WxS is implied to be talking to Rui.

And you get to Tsukasa, who is refusing to sing with Rui and in fact seems to be arguing with Rui if we really want to overthink it. In fact almost switching their roles from the main story.

Because Tsukasa has grown now and how else to show that growth than to switch Rui and Tsukasa's perspectives/roles.

Now how this would happen really depends since there are multiple ways they can go about it with the time they have.

There is obviously mystery dude dude (who i know now is sakaki) who still gives me bad vibes. However there is actually two way they can make mystery dude trigger this sort of plot :

-Mystery dude is malicious and actively manipulates/confronts Rui to make him rethink his worldview

-Mystery dude isn't malicious but instead is just jaded/has been through a lot of industry bullshit which ends up rubbing off on Rui accidentally

But you can even just not have mystery dude involved with this at all (which i doubt but still) because you know what loose plotpoint is still lingering over WxS, fucking Asahi

Rui still has not talked about Asahi to WxS, in fact Curtain Call ends on an explicit cliffhanger which is never really emotionally concluded (at least in Rui's own events, technically the arc ender did but there are still a lot of loose threads from that arc). Why would Colorpalet make Asahi come back after Rui graduates, they could've just had him disappear into the sunset but instead they hint at his potential comeback.

Unless Rui will be forced to again confront similar feelings he did during Curtain Call this time with possibly an added layer of whatever happens during WxS's freelance arc.

Anyways yeah this is overly complicated but then again colorpalet is not being easy with us so...yeah.

[sendothetaurus]

How to write good dialogue

Almost every story needs dialogue - obvious right? Well, this post is about the not-so-obvious sides of conversations. I've struggled a LOT with snappy and realistic speech, so I've made it my mission to collect some handy directives. Here is what I found:

Contents

Information Dumps

Setup And Payoff

Characterization Through Dialogue

Three Simple Questions

Four-Sides Model

Depth

About Answers

Sources And Credits

⮮ Let's go! (^▽^) ⮯

Information Dumps

Everybody knows them, everybody hates reading them. But how do we avoid them? Something really clicked for me when I understood context. If your character talks about something that happened in the past, they don't need to explain what happened. They were there. Here's an example:

"It would be nice if we at least got a B for that paper. Since I will go to college next year, I feel that this is important to me."

The speaker and the listener should be aware of the exposition (regarding their last year at high school). During dialogue, these conditions go without saying.

Setup And Payoff

Instead of dumping everything at once, let the reader guess what's happening. This is done by mentioning something that is not answered right away. Also dropping hints can increase tension.

Scene 1 "Why do you always carry that with you?" she asked and pointed at the box cutter. Her friend eyed her with suspicion. "For cutting." "Yeah, but why?" "Might come in handy sometime." Scene 2 An ice cold shiver ran down her spine as her fingers felt around the bag, searching for the familiar shape. There was nothing. The other tossed the thing onto the floor between them. "Care to elaborate?" She couldn't have known. "How could you!"

Someone definitely has a secret here that they don't want uncovered. It makes the reader speculate: Does she carry the knife to defend herself or does she plan on hurting someone with it?

Characterization Through Dialogue

The general rule of thumb is: Show not tell. If a character is shy, self-absorbed or chaotic, make them act like it. Also, readers take part in the characterization of your protagonists. Make them guess why a character acts a certain way.

"C- can I have your pen?" She twirled her thumbs and looked at the ground. "What the hell, no!" Disgusted, he brushed off his hands on the front of his jeans. "I'mma better disinfect that."

Notice how the girl is stuttering and the boy has a loose tongue. Mannerisms help identifying traits in a character. Everyone has a distinct way to speak (e.g. relaxed, polite, malignly) which makes it easier to tell them apart. Sometimes there is a difference between speech and behavior. This can be quite useful to highlight conflict inside a character.

Three Simple Questions

Who wants what from who?

Why now?

What happens if they don't get it?

These questions ensure plot consistency. For question 3 the only other outcome is conflict. Conversations thrive off of conflict and it is of benefit to have a supplicant and potential provider for a solution. It's basically intention versus obstacle.

1. She wants to be his wife. He doesn't want a marriage. 2. She is pregnant. 3. She needs to provide for a baby all on her own.

Tadaa, a conflict ensues.

Four-Sides Model

The four-sides model is a theory on communication. It assumes that a message has four distinct ways of being conveyed:

Facts -> data, facts, truth and relevance

Self-Disclosure -> explicit and implicit information about the own mindset; likes, dislikes, opinions

Relationship -> information about whether the person is liked or detested; approval and disapproval; "I assume you have [this] opinion of me"; body language

Want -> a direct attempt to influence the behavior of another person; advice, desire or instruction

Since this is highly technical stuff, I'll provide you with an example:

Customer: "I always drink my coffee black." 1. Fact: The coffee I drink is black. 2. Self-Disclosure: I like black coffee. 3. Relationship (POV of the waiter): Did I do something wrong? OR It's their fault! They ordered the wrong thing! 4. Want: Bring me black coffee.

Controlling the message through sender and receiver gives a new level of influence to an author. The relationship-level is the bottleneck in a conversation that holds the most potential for misunderstandings. I'm trying to be aware of it when I write subtext (see below).

Depth

On the nose dialogue is what we want to avoid at all costs. For this reason subtext is created in stories. Read this:

Scene 1 A: "I like you." B: "Nah, I don't like you back. You're so annoying." A: "Ouch, that hurts. I'm not sure if I heard that right." B: "We were never friends. Go away."

This is not how conversations work. Thankfully, dialogue like this is not entirely useless. It conveys what the characters really want to say. The challenge is to think of a way to not say the thing but keep a similar meaning.

The true meaning behind the dialogue is called subtext (scene 1). If I don't know how to continue after a certain line, I write down the subtext first before I decide on how to paraphrase it.

Finally, I add a fitting description of expression and body language if needed. I try to keep it short and simple.

Check this out:

Scene 2 She tucked her hair behind her ear. "I need a ride home later. Are you free?" -> I like you. "Sorry, all seats' re taken," he said without looking at her. -> Nah, I don't like you back. You're so annoying. "Uhm, okay. But I'm small. You could fit me in the footwell, honestly." -> Ouch, that hurts. I'm not sure if I heard that right. He leaned forward as if he had the urge to stand. "Ha, funny. But no, I'm not planning on doing something illegal tonight." -> We were never friends. Go away.

A character's action depends on their own intention and the other's response. I feel it is easier to keep track of what's happening behind the curtains when it's written alongside the dialogue.

Simultaneously, you can keep habits and traits in check. Does the the character apply all criticism to themselves? Are they disregarding or constantly marginalizing others? Do they worry only for themselves or solely for others? Subtext truly is the most powerful tool in conversation-writing.

About Answers

Did you know that you don't have to answer every single question? In fact, there are two other ways to show an emotion without telling it.

The first one is called sidestepping. The character ignores the posed question and carries on with an entirely different topic.

A: "Do you still love me?" B: "We should get going."

It's very obvious, right? By sidestepping the question, we can assume that the character is uncomfortable or angry with the other person.

The other way to answer is actually a bit paradoxical. Through silence, a great variety of emotions can be displayed. It is recommended to refrain from actually describing silence with words like "he remained silent", "he refused to say anything", "he never responded".

- The laptop hummed. - The birds chirped in the trees. - She felt her legs going numb from sitting in an uncomfortable position. - His eyes wandered around, searching the parking lot for a familiar face.

It feels more natural to explain the things that grab our attention when we sit in silence.

This is it, folks. That's all I could find on the topic - for now. If there's anything missing, I'd love to hear it.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope this helped ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

My sources are this and this video as well as this article.

Also a big thank you to @zoropookie for helping me with the colors ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

[suzukiblu]

more of the one where Clark panic-adopts his teenage clones, yes including the supervillain one:

"I don't know why people keep doing this," Superman sighs as they stop in the air high above the cloud cover between them and the Lyon lab. 

"Stealing your DNA?" Match asks. 

"Kidnapping a sixteen year-old," Superman says like he thinks it's some kind of correction. Match frowns. 

"Superboy is two," he says. And closer to physiologically eighteen at this point, even accounting for the temporary stall in his aging process. Definitely not sixteen by either count, though. 

"I–well, yes," Superman says uncomfortably. "But you know what I mean." 

Match doesn't, actually. 

"It won't be difficult to crack the lab," he says instead of admitting that. "Security won't be prepared for an external assault from your full powerset." 

"Because they think I wouldn't come," Superman says, sounding resigned. 

"Yes," Match confirms. 

"Because of your reports?" Superman says. 

"Yes," Match says. "And you never did before, either." 

Superman frowns, sparing him a confused glance. 

"Why would I have come before Superboy was even here?" he asks. 

"I was here," Match says. 

Superman's frown deepens. He looks over at him again. Match isn't sure why; the lab is the current concern. 

Maybe he assumes that he's lying about the security. Or that he's going to tell the Agenda that he's here. Those would both be fair assumptions. 

"The Agenda thought I might come for you?" Superman says. 

"The theory was presented, initially," Match says. "But you didn't, so external security in the newer labs is less intensive." 

"Why did they think I'd do that?" Superman asks. 

"Superboy and I only exist because of you," Match says. "And the Agenda knew he'd reported my existence to you." 

"I wasn't actually involved in either of your creations, though," Superman says, still frowning. "My DNA was stolen." 

"Yes," Match agrees, tilting his head. Did Superman think he didn't know that? "Because you made your DNA valuable." 

"What?" Superman frowns at him again. 

"Your DNA was stolen because it was valuable," Match clarifies. "Because you demonstrated it was valuable. You don't use science or tricks or magic or owe any gods or countries or labs any kind of allegiance. You just exist on this planet and you're the most powerful thing on it just because you're here. You can do anything you want, whenever you want, and no one else can stop you. Not even if they kill you." 

Superman doesn't say anything. 

"And you told everyone that," Match continues. "You told everyone that you were the most powerful thing on this planet just because of your very valuable DNA and the fact that we happen to be revolving around a yellow sun. That you can't even die. That you'll always do whatever you think needs done, no matter what anyone else thinks or who tries to stop you from doing it." 

Superman still doesn't say anything. 

"So Superboy and I only exist because of you," Match finishes, and then looks back down at the lab below through the cloud cover. Thirteen is down there right now. Or he should be, at least. 

Maybe he's already escaped. 

That's a very Thirteen kind of thing to do, after all. 

"That's how you feel?" Superman asks, all careful-voiced again. 

"That's what I know," Match corrects. "Would you prefer to go straight in or should I provide a distraction first?" 

". . . I'll be the distraction," Superman says, still watching him with an absolutely indecipherable expression that Match doesn't understand the purpose of. "Find Superboy and say my name when you do. Then I'll get you both out." 

"The Agenda will want me back, though," Match says with a frown, not understanding. 

"Do you want to stay with them?" Superman asks. 

Match has absolutely no idea how Superman can even ask him that. It's not a choice if he stays with the Agenda. 

It's never been a choice. 

"They made me," he says. "They own me." 

"That isn't true," Superman says. "You don't have to stay with them just because they made you. Not if you don't want to. Superboy didn't stay with the people who made him, did he?" 

". . . Superboy lives at Cadmus," Match says, more than a little confused by that statement. "He works for Cadmus. He's a field agent." 

"He–what?" Superman blinks. 

"Did you not know that?" Match asks. That really seems like something Superman should've known. Especially since it's something the Agenda knows. "They're under new management. But it's still Cadmus." 

"I–he's still there? I thought that was just . . . why would he still be there?" Superman asks, looking troubled. 

Match really, really doesn't understand Superman as a person. 

"Because he requires food, shelter, and financial support," he ticks off on his fingers. "Also presumably other resources. And he has no legal identity or legal guardian to either obtain or provide said resources. Therefore: Cadmus." 

Therefore: the Agenda. 

It really doesn't seem like something that should need explained, to him. 

Superman looks at him for a very long moment. 

"Find Superboy," he says, finally. "Then say my name." 

"Understood," Match says.

[justalia]

The Self

i haven’t been here in a while and i’ve been exploring the law more and more, gaining even more insight.

i know i haven’t been active as much as i was before but as i said i will come on here to write about what i feel needs to be shared instead of just yapping and sharing things i don’t feel strongly about or just repeat myself.

this is a concept that has been discussed and talked about by many, me included. i personally have always wondered a lot about this, i have understood the concept in theory and applied it too but never managed to live by it, until now.

“The Inner Man”

this is how most of us know the concept i’m talking about, this is the name we’ve all collectively given it. i bet you’ve read the phrase “you are the inner man” several times, hell i have preached it several times.

i think thinking of it in this way sometimes tends to create separation between “you” (the human you) and the you in imagination. at least that’s how i felt when i first read about it last year when i was first approaching the law, even if that’s not what the people who write about it are trying to say.

the idea we’ve all seen repeated over and over by bloggers is that the real you is in imagination and you should identify with the inner man and satisfy your desire with the feeling of having said desire because “that’s what you actually want”.

and that’s partially true.

the inner man’s concept in the way that it is worded inevitably creates separation and makes you believe there’s two entities, the physical you and the one in imagination and that you have to put effort into identifying with the one inside or just “have faith” that it is true.

i don’t know about you but both effort and blind belief have given me problems in the long run because the truth is that you need to study this and understand it for yourself to truly know what this means. knowing something requires no effort and no belief, you just KNOW it is like that and nothing can move you from that. same as knowing the sky is blue, you don’t just “believe” it, nor it requires effort for you to identify the sky as blue, you just know it.

Q. but i can see the sky is blue! i know it is blue because i have proof.

knowing doesn’t always necessarily require physical proof, it can just require understanding and realization and that is what i want you to achieve at the end of this post.

you need to get to a point of knowing you are the one inside and not just “trusting” it or believing it because that is what everyone tells you to do, if you don’t sit on the concept and realize it for yourself blind belief will only take you so far. i suggest you’d do your own research and study everything that inspires you in this law, there’s several places where you can find the source and believe me when i tell you no blogger can be as helpful as your own realizations.

as all feelings of separation, even this separation between the imaginal you and the human body will inevitably bring you troubles in the long run. believing that they are both you will bring confusion and fears inevitably arise. you feel anxiety, you have fearful thoughts and you freak out because as long as you believe it is you, you will inevitably assign it a meaning and that will lead you to think it has some impact on you and you don’t have any control over what happens.

you will start to think that since you had this thought it means you are “out of the state” so it will affect your “manifestation”, you’ll start to think that anything you imagine takes life and expresses without you having any real control over it. you will start to think you are the thoughts, the feelings, the states and you will start to desperately try to control them and/or yourself or better what you believe to be yourself.

you will feel you are your mind and have no control over it, you will lose the safety you once felt inside of imagination and you will not feel alone inside of it.

Self

the Self i’m talking about is the real you and the only one.

sit back in a comfortable position and relax for a few moments, try to quiet the mind, observe the thoughts, drop the judgements.

who am i?

ask yourself this question.

let thoughts come and observe them.

who is observing? your Self.

are you the thoughts or are you the one observing them?

are you the fears or are you observing them?

are you the anxiety or are you observing it?

are you the body or are you observing it?

are you the mind or are you observing it?

are you the thing perceived or the perceiver?

who is that?

The Self.

the one and only self.

there is no imaginal you and physical you. you are the perceiver of all things, you are the dreamer. there is no “i must look for the feeling because that’s how things get expressed” there is no feeling to look for, no effort put into fulfilling one Self whatsoever because once you’ve realized who you are that’s only natural to experience what you want inside, there is no craving for outside validation because the body is not who you are.

the Self inside has experienced it and that’s the only thing you will crave because You have experienced it.

i’m not gonna tell you it won’t take a tiiiiny bit of “effort” AT FIRST to identify with your real Self whenever you’re involved with the ego, because we have habits and habits such as identifying with the ego are not immediately let go of. but i don’t even wanna call it effort because once you hit the realization of who you really are you will WANT to go back to that, it will inevitably feel wrong to identify with the ego because even if comfortable you’ve realized that is not you, it will feel temporary whenever you go back to being the ego.

you don’t need to intentionally identify with the “inner self” aka the only identity you have, you are unlimited consciousness CHOOSING to identify with the ego and the body.

IT’S NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

that’s why you struggle with this. because you think you have to do something to identify with the self when you simply already are, you just let go of the ego identity you’re so desperate for right now.

[yulin-pop]

⤷ ✧ 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

Order 81 | Gender Neutral | Headcanons | First years

❀ NOTE: I wrote this at like 4 am when I was having a sleepover but couldn’t sleep after I watched a scary movie.

Watching a scary movie with Ace, Deuce, Epel, Jack, Sebek, and Grim is completely madness.

There’s a lot of types of horror movies but they’re all generally the same. Opening, first scary part, everything else in between, then ending.

Ace will be the one trying to scare everyone else. It’ll be one of those silent parts and then he randomly puts his hand on your shoulder and screams. It’s probably more annoying than scary.

Deuce is definitely the one that covers his eyes and if it’s somehow sad, he tears up a bit. Don’t question if you hear him randomly sniffling. Jack is gonna be the only one to comfort him.

Speaking of Jack, he is either extremely focused on the movie or not paying attention. He misses the most important parts and he has to ask what happened just now.

Okay Epel is the one laughing at the jumpscares. Something flies at the screen, everyone screams but he’s just like “Nah why did it look like that though?” He doesn’t really take most of the movie seriously, but later will be lowkey scared when he’s alone in the dark trying to sleep.

Sebek yells at the screen if the characters are acting stupid like. “NO DON’T GO INTO THE DARK ROOM ALONE YOU’RE GONNA DIE!” He doesn’t like horror movies very much because the main characters are always so dumb he gets upset.

Grim is a jumper. He will fly out of his seat when he’s startled. His fight or flight senses kick in and he almost burns the TV. He is also clinging to the nearest person whether they like it or not because he is a scaredy cat sometimes.

That interesting group in the same room, watching the same movie is just delightful.

Before the movie even begins, there’s already something happening. Deuce and Ace are fighting over who can sit next to you. Deuce sat down next to you first but then Ace insisted he move so he can sit next to you. Why doesn’t Ace just go on your other side? Grim is there. They wrestle for a little bit before you tell both of them to just sit on the floor (couch privileges lost). Jack ends up sitting next to you.

Unless it was decided beforehand, it’s gonna take a long while to pick out which movie. Epel wants a movie with jumpscares, Deuce doesn’t want anything too graphic, Ace already saw a majority of the suggested movies, then everyone else doesn’t care much.

The movie starts fine but then Grim doesn’t want to share any popcorn. It’s just Ace that wants some but Grim refuses to pass the bowl. You’re able to snatch the bowl from him and everyone else has popcorn.

Deuce and Sebek get surprisingly into it. If everyone else is confused then they’re the ones to explain what’s going on or what happened. They have their own theories of what’s happening.

Ace also makes predictions on the ending and he has a 75% chance of being correct because he watched a lot of scary movies so he sees a pattern in all of them.

When Deuce and Ace are anywhere near you, they’re grabbing onto you out of fear. They try not to grab onto anyone else besides you or… each other.

Half of the time Ace doesn’t get startled from the movie itself, it’s everyone else’s screams that makes him scream.

If the protagonist (or any character) acts stupid the atmosphere is completely different. They’re all talking to each other like.

“Oh my seven, what is she doing?”

“This is why I don’t like horror movies, they’re so stupid!”

“That’s something Grim would do.”

Afterwards there’s gonna be at least one person that says they don’t get it.

Sebek won’t be scared afterwards unless it was based after a true story, then he’s super cautious in dark rooms and doesn’t mess around with ghosts.

Ace and Epel won’t admit it but they’re just a bit frightened depending on what type of horror it was. Ghosts don’t scare them so much but demonic possession will. They may be a bit afraid while they try to sleep at night.

Deuce and Grim are the most openly scared ones. Both will be hiding under their covers and shaking until they fall asleep. They will both have the worst nightmares over it for a week if the movie was that bad.

Jack is… fairly normal. Of course he’s left a bit spooked but he’s not at all bothered by it. He’s creeped out but doesn’t start worrying about his own safety but everyone else’s. He starts telling people not to go out when it’s dark out and offers to walk with them.

[candycandy00]

The Offering - A Sukuna x Reader Fic Part 5 (Final)

Once upon a time, Sukuna was a human man, albeit a monstrously cruel and powerful one. Villages across the land worshipped him as a living deity. One such village holds a festival for seven nights in his honor every year, and on each night they make generous offerings to him, including women who are never seen again. On the fifth night, you are selected to be the offering. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated! If anyone has any comments, questions, etc, please feel free to say so! I love talking about my stories lol. Thanks to everyone who has followed this story this far!

Smut. 18+. Sukuna is a human (my theory is that he got his four-armed body by modifying himself with jujutsu fuckery later in life). Dubcon. Mentions of rape that happened “off screen”. Very rough sex my. Blood. Bondage. Biting. Sukuna just generally being a sadistic monster. F!Reader. This is dark and quite intense!

Late in the evening of your last night as Sukuna’s offering, he summoned you to the bedroom. You wore the pink robe he’d given you and the shrine maidens had perfumed your hair and lightly painted your lips with a pink glossy color. When you walked into the bedroom, alone, you found Sukuna standing beside the bed, his own robe tied so loosely that the front of it was open down to his waist. His bare torso, with its toned muscles and black tattoos, made your breath hitch.  

“Take off the robe,” he said in that voice that made you melt, “unless you want it to be ruined.”

You slipped it off, still feeling a bit shy about being naked in front of him. He had already seen everything, but you always felt so… inadequate. He was perfect in every way, and you were just a normal woman. But you were getting a bit more used to his eyes roaming over your body, so you folded the robe and laid it on the dresser, then turned to face him. 

He gestured toward the bed, and your eyes shifted over to it. You immediately noticed something that hadn’t been there before. From each of the two wooden posts at the head of the bed, there were thin red ropes attached. You stared at them, wondering about their purpose, until a terrible thought entered your mind. 

You looked at his face, and he was grinning. That’s when your fears were confirmed. 

He stepped closer and placed his hands on your shoulders, slowly sliding them down until they reached your wrists. “Get on the bed so we can start,” he said, rubbing your wrists gently. 

You felt panic rising in your body. What did he plan to do to you that would require him to tie you to the bed? But you couldn’t refuse him, no matter what he asked of you, so you climbed onto the bed and laid on your back. 

Sukuna climbed onto the bed after you, straddling you with his knees on either side of your body. He looked down at you, and his heated gaze caused the growing wetness between your legs to drip out of your folds. You tried to remain perfectly still as he pulled your right arm up above your head and tied the red rope tightly around your wrist, so tightly that the rope rubbed your skin in an unpleasant way. He then tied your left wrist in the same fashion. 

When finished, he stared down at you. “What’s wrong? Don’t you like being completely helpless to my whims and desires?” He hovered over you, his loose robe sliding against your bare skin. “Are you excited, or frightened, by what I might do to you?”

Looking up at him, it was obvious what he was doing. The way he loomed over you, the way his robe fell open, the way he looked at you… he was intentionally turning you on. Your heart was beating rapidly, making your chest rise and fall with your quickening breaths. “Both,” you said in a weak voice. 

He moved down, making sure his body rubbed against yours on the way, and spread your legs with his hands, positioning himself between them. He leaned down so that his face was very close to your soaking wet pussy and used his fingers to open your folds. “Already so wet for me,” he said. Then he moved his fingers around, rubbing everywhere except your clit. 

“You want me to touch it, don’t you?” he asked, his finger moving dangerously close to that hypersensitive bundle of nerves. “This poor little neglected clit. It’s desperate for my attention, isn’t it?”

Your body arched up slightly, trying to get his finger closer to the bullseye. “Yes, please!”

He grinned widely. “Alright. I’ll be merciful and pleasure your clit all night,” he said, making you sigh in contentment, but then he added another comment that made your blood run cold: “But if you cum without my permission, I’ll hurt you.”

You raised your head up from the pillow slightly to look at him with your panic-stricken face. “W-wait!”

He leaned down suddenly and ran his tongue over your clit. The pleasure shot through you like lightning, your hips bucking off the bed as you moaned. “Please wait, Lord Sukuna,” you said, tears filling your eyes. 

He looked up at you, that smug expression on his face. “Beg me to let you cum, and I might show mercy.” With that, he used his thumb to rub over the tender nub, then licked it again. 

You squirmed and whimpered beneath him, completely defenseless with your arms tied above your head. “Please… please let me cum, Lord Sukuna!”

He looked you in the eyes as his thumb kept rubbing over your clit. “Denied,” he said, and you let out a half moan, half sob, your body jerking and thrashing. 

“Please, I beg of you! I can’t bear it!” Your voice was higher than usual, your cries frantic. “Please… please…”

He used his tongue again, the tip of it teasing your clit and even pressing under the hood. 

Your arms pulled against the ropes, burning your wrists. Tears were streaming down your face. “Please, Lord Sukuna… I’ll do anything… just please let me cum!”

“Denied,” he said again, before giving one more long lick and finishing off by wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking. 

The pleasure was too much. An orgasm rocked your body, making you clench up and cry out. Sukuna raised up to watch you, but his thumb kept stroking your engorged clit mercilessly even as you rode out your climax. 

“You came without my permission,” he said in a low voice. “What a bad girl.”

You were sobbing now. “I’m sorry, my Lord.  Please forgive me!”

His thumb was still rubbing you, and you could already feel the pleasure building. “Now I have to hurt you,” he said, his voice pure silk, “to show you what happens to those who disobey me.”

As you watched with teary eyes, he lifted one of your legs up, bending it at the knee. He pressed his mouth against the plush flesh of your inner thigh and gave it a small kiss before running his tongue over it. Then, while looking straight at your terrified face, he opened his mouth and sank his unnaturally sharp teeth into your thigh. 

Your body jolted, reflexively trying to pull your leg out of his grasp as blood began to weep from the bite and into his mouth. It hurt, badly, his teeth feeling like knives cutting into your skin. You cried out in pain, again pulling against the ropes in a futile attempt to free yourself. 

But perhaps worst of all was that his thumb never stopped rubbing your clit, and now you were on the verge of cumming again. 

He slowly pulled his mouth away, licking up the blood dripping from the red bite mark and giving you the most seductive look you’d ever seen, smiling against your fresh wound. Then, within seconds, his tongue was lapping at your clit again. It was even more sensitive than before, and your whole body was shaking. 

There was a tremor to your voice as you cried out for mercy. “Ahhh… please… allow me to cum….ahhhh!!”

He raised his face to look at you, letting his fingers take over for his tongue. They stroked your nub as he said, “Denied. You’ve already disobeyed me once. Why should I reward you?” The purr of his voice against your spread open pussy nearly sent you into orbit. 

“Please forgive me… ahh… Lord Sukuna! Forgive your pitiful offering… ahhh… for cumming!”

He smiled again as he dove back in, not giving you even a moment of relief. His tongue and lips and fingers were all working together to stimulate you, and before long, another climax hit your body like a boulder. You screamed out, pulling tightly against the ropes, your hips rising and inadvertently pressing up into Sukuna’s mouth, making the pleasure even more intense. 

He stroked your clit through your orgasm again, sending currents of pleasure rippling through you and causing your body to spasm in the bed. Your face was soaked with tears as you looked at him. “Please forgive me…” you murmured weakly. 

He pulled away from you and moved up toward the head of the bed, making sure his bare, muscled torso rubbed across your prone body as he did so. Once he was face to face with you, he licked your lips, then licked tears from your cheek, then moved his mouth to the underside of your exhausted right arm. He held it tightly in one hand and licked the flesh there. You shook your head. “Please… don’t!”

His lips curled back into a smile, showing you his teeth, before he bit into the soft, tender skin. Again, pain flooded your senses. He licked and sucked at the wound, his mouth making obscene sounds right above your head, his body pressed against yours. He was deliberately choosing the most sensitive places to bite, to inflict the most agony. You whimpered and shut your eyes, trying to block it out. 

Then he moved back down, and his fingers were holding your flesh so widely open that it hurt, and his tongue was alternating between battering your now sore clit and gently licking it. Sobs shook you as you kept crying. “Please… please…” was all you could say. 

“Please what? You have to tell me what you want of me,” he said. 

“Please… allow me to cum… Sukuna…”

He stopped for a moment, and your eyes snapped open. You’d called him Sukuna, not Lord Sukuna. You glanced down, afraid to see the anger on his face at this show of disrespect. With you so weak and vulnerable right now, the punishment could easily finish you off. 

But he was just staring at your face, seemingly in wonder. He gave you a strange, unreadable look, then returned to torturing your clit with overwhelming pleasure. You didn’t even have the strength left to jerk and squirm, so your body simply twitched under his hands and mouth as you begged him to let you cum. 

He continued to deny you, and when you climaxed a third time, you laid there under him, panting, pleading for forgiveness in a small voice.  

He moved up your body again, and this time he extended his tongue to lick one nipple before wrapping his lips around it. You looked down in disbelief, then shook your head frantically again. “Please, no!”

Another smile crept over his features as he turned his face toward yours. “What was it you told me in the bath earlier?”

Your eyes widened, then slammed shut again. 

His voice drifted up to your ears. “Tell me again, and I might have pity on you.”

“Please don’t make me say it, Lord Sukuna,” you whimpered, trying to turn your face away. 

“Oh? Why not? Was it a lie?”

You opened your eyes and looked at his face. “No! It wasn’t a lie! It’s just…”

He took your nipple into his mouth again, licking it gently. “Just what?” 

“Ahh… it’s just… I know a pitiful offering like me… isn’t allowed to love you… my Lord…”

He pulled himself up so that he could say into your ear, “Just for tonight, I’ll allow it. Now say it again if you want my mercy.”

You looked at him in shock, but he was already sliding back down, his mouth encasing your breast. 

“Lord Sukuna, I love you!”

Just then, you felt his teeth on your nipple, and they bit down slowly. He didn’t bite as deeply as he had on your thigh and arm, but he broke the skin, allowing blood to dribble onto his waiting tongue. It hurt, probably even more than the other bites because it was in such a delicate place, and you screamed as his teeth sank just a tiny bit deeper. He licked the blood off and pulled away, then moved back down. 

His thumb was already rubbing your clit again, but now his hot mouth was on it again, and you thought you might just die right there. “I love you,” you said in a breathy voice, then repeated it like a mantra. “I love you. I love you. I love you!”

Having his tongue running over your clit while you poured out your feelings so shamefully made your head swim. You could only lie there helplessly as he did whatever he pleased with your body. You were still crying as you made a final plea, “Please let me cum… I love you so much…”

That’s when you suddenly felt his teeth graze over your clit, and all at once your tired, aching body was on full alert. You looked down in horror, shaking your head, but he just grinned up at you and said, “You have my permission to cum.”

It was like a dam broke. You sobbed out a moan as you finally let all the heavenly sensations you’d been trying to block out wash over you. He continued licking and rubbing with his fingers until you were nothing more than a quivering piece of flesh underneath him. 

When it was over, your body went limp, and you laid there breathing hard as he leaned over you, watching. He remained there for a little while, then stood up and turned away from the bed. Was this it? Was this the end? You couldn’t bear it. 

*******

Sukuna tightened his robe as he glanced back at the offering still tied to his bed. Looking over her weak little body, all splayed out, and the red, bloody bite marks he’d left on her, made it even harder to ignore the pulsing erection he’d had since he first bound her wrists with the rope. But he didn’t mind taking care of it himself. He’d decided to let the night end on her pleasure instead of his own. 

It was the least he could do for her, considering what he planned to do to her. 

As he started to walk away, he heard her soft voice say, “Lord Sukuna… could I make a final request, before you kill me?”

He looked back at her. She’d slipped and called him only by his name once, leaving him slightly annoyed that she had immediately went back to using “Lord”. He rather liked the way his name had sounded being moaned from her lips, even though he had beheaded at least three people for being so disrespectful in the past. 

His eyes met hers and he asked quietly, “What is your request?”

Her face was red from blushing so much, but she held his gaze without looking away. “I want you inside me again, one more time.”

He hadn’t expected that, and he must have been wearing a surprised expression, because the offering averted her eyes and said, “Please?”

Sukuna stepped back over and sat on the edge of the bed beside her naked body. “I thought you wanted me to be gentle today,” he said in an uncharacteristically kind tone. “If I fuck you now, I won’t hold back. I won’t be able to. I’ll be rough with you, I’ll hurt you. I’ll fuck you as hard as I can, because anything less would leave me unsatisfied.”

Her eyes looked like they were made of glass as she stared up at him. “I don’t mind. You can hurt me.”

His cock was throbbing between his thighs, but he kept himself under control. “Be careful when you say things like that,” he told her, wanting nothing more than to mount her right there and then. “You’re making it hard for me to contain the monster you know I am.”

She arched her back, lifting her hips from the bed as she moaned, “Lord Sukuna, please… take me… hurt me… cum inside me again.”

The last of his self control evaporated into thin air. His robe was ripped open and discarded, then he climbed onto the offering and pushed her legs up, letting them rest on his shoulders as he rammed his entire cock inside her drenched pussy. She cried out, from pain or pleasure, he couldn’t tell, but her face looked blissful as he pounded into her. 

Every other time, Sukuna had maintained some level of control. He hadn’t wanted to wreck her so quickly, but now that control was gone. With her writhing beneath him, her arms still tied to the posts, her eyes wet with tears and her body rising up to rub against his, he surrendered completely to his desire to be buried as deeply inside her warm, wet pussy as possible. 

He fucked her like an animal, harder and deeper than he’d ever fucked anyone before. He could feel his cock slamming against her cervix, bruising and battering it as her whole body jerked with his violent thrusts. The whole time, she was murmuring something between her moans and cries. A word he couldn’t hear clearly enough. 

One of his hands groped at her breast, and he realized too late that it was the one with the bloody, bitten nipple. She winced and shuddered, still mumbling that unknown word, and he quickly switched to the other breast. As an apology, he took the injured nipple into his warm mouth and licked it gently, still thrusting into her with deep, powerful motions. 

She jerked against the ropes again, and he remembered that she liked to wrap her arms around him while being fucked into oblivion, so he reached up and ripped the ropes free of the posts. Her arms, no doubt sore and tired, encircled his neck and clung to him. She buried her wet, tear-stained face into his shoulder, and that’s when he finally identified the word she’d been uttering all along. 

His name. Only his name. 

Her voice was unsteady, her body shaking with sobs, and she continued clutching him while crying out his name. 

She must have been in pain, but she never once asked him to stop or even slow down. She accepted his violence, his brutality, deep into her delicate form. 

“I love you more than anything, Sukuna…”

He heard the words but didn’t acknowledge them, only continued fucking her wildly. He didn’t know if he loved her. He didn’t know if he was capable of love. What he felt for her was contradictory and confusing. He wanted to hurt her, he wanted to hold her. He wanted to give her more rich, beautiful robes to wear and watch her smile as she tried them on. He wanted to use his cursed technique to inflict a thousand tiny cuts all over her body, then lick the blood from all of them. He wanted to share more meals and baths with her. He wanted to string her up from the ceiling by her arms and relentlessly fuck her until the only word she was capable of saying was his name. He wanted to go to sleep with her in his arms. 

He simply wanted more of her, in every way possible. 

She clenched tightly around him every time his tip rammed into that sweet spot that made her moan. Soon she was screaming out his name as she came for the fifth time that night. 

Her ragged breathing and trembling body pushed him over the edge, and he drew back onto his knees, pulling her with him, letting her legs slide off his shoulders and wrap tightly around his waist. His mouth crashed into hers as he squeezed her against him as hard as he could, finally cumming deep inside of her. 

They stayed entangled that way for a while, even after the last of his cum had shot into her womb, wrapped in each other’s arms, theirs tongue mingling together. When he broke the kiss, he looked down at her face. She was more lovely then than she’d ever been, her face flushed, her lips parted, his own saliva and hers all over her mouth, her eyes glazed over as she stared up at him lovingly. 

“You can kill me now, Lord Sukuna,” she said, looking into his eyes. “I can die happy, being so full of you.”

He was still completely buried inside her. He didn’t want to pull out, but the night wouldn’t last forever, and there was still much to be done. He lifted her off him, and her body was limp, too exhausted to move. He laid her back on the bed and stood up. She was watching him, trying to stay conscious, but after a few minutes she passed out again. He pulled a sheet over her and watched her sleep for a while. Then he summoned all three shrine maidens. 

The women walked into the room with their heads down. He had already pulled on a clean robe, and was tying the sash at his waist as they entered. 

“All three of you, look up. I need to be sure you understand my instructions.”

The three women hesitantly raised their faces. This was probably the first time they had gotten a good look at his face. One of them glanced at the bed, but said nothing. 

Sukuna gestures toward the offering and said, “She is not to be touched in my absence, by anyone. She is not to take a husband. Do you understand?”

The women seemed shocked, but they nodded their heads. 

“Make sure all her needs are met until the festival next year,” he said, then looked over at her sleeping form before adding, “See to it that she is well fed. I wouldn’t mind seeing some more meat on her when I return.” With those words, he gave the women a grin that intentionally showed off his sharp teeth. 

All three women paled at the sight, clearly aware of his… unusual dining preferences. 

His orders given, the women left the room while he prepared to leave the village. His attendants were working on loading all the material offerings into his traveling cart, though he’d told them to leave the pink cherry blossom robe and any food offerings that hadn’t spoiled. He dressed in his thicker outer wear and then walked back over to the bed, taking one long, final look at the girl who had pleased him like no one ever had before. 

She was still asleep, and he was glad of it. A teary goodbye was simply not in him, and he knew she would be sad to see him leave. He wouldn’t take her with him. The things he did would no doubt frighten and repulse her, and he was too invested in his goals to allow for such a distraction. But having someone waiting here for him didn’t seem so bad. 

He glanced back to make sure no attendants or shrine maidens were nearby, then he bent down and kissed her lips. 

Minutes later, he was gone. 

******

When you woke up the next morning, you were shocked to still be alive. The shrine maidens informed you that Lord Sukuna had left the village in the night, as he did every year. You felt an ache in your chest, a pain that you had felt once before. You thought it was probably heartbreak. You’d wanted to be with him forever, even if that time was fleeting like the cherry blossoms he liked so much. 

Then the shrine maidens told you that you were not allowed to marry until the next festival, and you realized what that meant. He wanted you to be the offering next year! Your heart swelled with love at the thought. 

And so you returned to your family and your normal life in the village. Most of the villagers, including your parents, refrained from asking you about your time with Lord Sukuna. You had returned to them covered in bruises and bloody bite marks that the shrine maidens had bandaged, barely able to walk. They had assumed you’d been brutalized and deemed it insensitive to question you about it, though it was clear that many people wondered how you had survived. 

You didn’t volunteer any information either, except to tell your parents that it hadn’t been as bad as they imagined, if only to keep them from worrying so much. 

Your life was a bit dull, but happy. You carried on as you had before, but secretly, deep in your heart, you longed to wrap your arms around your Lord’s neck again, to feel him inside you. You watched the seasons change, eager for spring to come again. 

*****

Epilogue: 

Cherry blossoms drifted to the ground all around you as you pressed your forehead as low as possible, bowing with the rest of the gathered villagers in the festival grounds surrounding Lord Sukuna’s shrine. You heard his footsteps, and your heart was beating so fast that you thought it might burst from your chest. 

Would he even remember you? Would he ask for you specifically as the first night’s offering, or would you need to volunteer? Regardless, you were so excited to see him again, it was very difficult to keep your head down as his footsteps came closer. 

They approached, but instead of walking by you, they stopped right in front of your bowed form. You drew in a sharp breath, looking only at his sandaled feet. He crouched down, his knees becoming visible, and then you heard his voice in your ear: “You can look up now.”

You raised your head immediately, and found yourself face to face with your village’s deity. Tears sprung to your eyes, and he gave you the same smug grin he often wore. His hand brushed the tears from one cheek and he laughed as he said, “You’re always dripping whenever you’re near me.”

You blushed, but smiled as he took one of your hands and pulled you up. Nearby, the village elders who were escorting Lord Sukuna to the base of his shrine looked at you with shock. They’d heard you were a survivor, but the look of rapture on your face, along with Lord Sukuna’s behavior toward you, must have been totally unexpected for them. 

Sukuna looked at them and said, “I already have a woman for the week. No more will be needed.”

The elders quickly bowed despite their surprise. “As you wish, Lord Sukuna,” one of them said. 

“Oh, but do make sure plenty of fresh fruit is offered,” Sukuna added, then gave you a meaningful look and said, “We especially enjoy peaches.” 

Your face turned crimson at the memory of last year, but you couldn’t stop smiling as Lord Sukuna kept hold of your hand and pulled you up the steps to his shrine. 

Once you were far enough away from everyone else, he glanced back at you and said, “I hope you’re prepared. I’ve had all year to think about all the terrible things I’m going to do to you.”

You smiled at him, bright and happy. “And I’ve had all year to look forward to it, Lord Sukuna!”

Once again, you thought you caught a glimpse of a faint pink tint to his face as he turned back toward the shrine’s doors. “Smile all you want, but I’ll show you no mercy. You’ll be screaming on my cock by nightfall.”

You stepped closer to him and said in your sweetest voice, “Lord Sukuna, please wait until we get inside the shrine to say such things. I’m afraid I’ll leave a mess on the steps if you keep making me so wet.”

His eyes shifted back to your face, and then his gaze slid down your body before returning to your eyes. He grinned, baring his teeth. “Such a needy little offering.” 

The two of you entered the shrine, dismissed the shrine maidens, and closed up the doors behind them, eager to begin a week of utter depravity. 

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[orphiclovers]

I think the most notable bit of character insight on Yoo Joonghyuk that Yoo Mia SS provides is how much the apocalypse did not change him at all.

It's one of those Big Themes orv has, and simply brilliant writing. Y'know how they kept beating us over the head with the concept of 'the people who find it easiest to adapt in a ruined world are those who could not adapt to real life?'. That applies to YJH too, and even more than other characters. But it's hard to notice on a casual main story read because genre conventions and his character archetype tell us not to look deeper, that he is just a basic brooding power fantasy manhwa protagonist, even when he's really not.

So the audience writes off his quirks because it's expected of his brooding hero archetype and the other apocalypse survivors write off his quirks because everyone who has gotten this far is a little nuts and also they have bigger problems.

But when Yoo Joonghyuk acts exactly like he does during the apocalypse in a pre-scenario world where there's no convienient explanation it's really clear that he is different and he just comes off as...off.

His silence during conversations is no longer mysterious and cool but just weird and a failure to read social cues. His 'glare' is frightening and people don't like when he makes eye contact with them. His manner of speech is off-putting. His blank emotionless face is not stoic repressed hero-esque but ""rude"" etc etc. Every single mainstream society conforming person can tell there's something off about him so they avoid him. And YJH doesn't know how to communicate so he ends up totally friendless (save for a literal mafia boss and a crazy time-traveling teenage girl - and only them, because they don't fit well into society either.)

Umm where was I. So, but I don't know how much effect all of that has on World of Zero. Firstly, because between Yoo Mia side story and World of Zero there are 3-4 years of '?????' where afaik we have no idea what Yoo Joonghyuk was doing. He stopped being a gamer at some point but also got rich at the same time (doing what?) and bought the house he daydreamed about and also became a total shut-in who 'doesn't go outside often'. I have fanfic-y theories but nothing canon.

Onto the second part of the ask.

With World of Zero era joongdok I feel like there's a lot of writers out there who have made their own versions that are better than anything I could come up with so I hope you wont be disapointed. That being said I do have some thoughts.

Speaking of fanfic, here is mine under read more lol.

I think it's super that Kim Dokja gains the power of an omnipotent god and the very first thing he does is devote his time to Yoo Joonghyuk's happiness and safety. The whole reason he became OD was because of his massive guilt complex about YJH, so it makes sense that he would try to atone.

Zero starts off mistrusting him but gradually KDJ proves himself as having Zero's best interests at heart 100% of the time. DKOS is YJH's guardian angel. And then KDJ stays watching over him even after the scenarios were over, seeing him go through boring life milestones, happy as long as YJH is happy, for seemingly no reason.

So it's no wonder Yoo Jooghyuk fell in love.

He might not know Salvation's real name or appearance or anything about him but he wants to get to know him, this person who has saved him so many times while asking nothing in return. It doesn't matter that he's a constellation because he is good, Yoo Joonghyuk knows. He confesses all of this to Salvation, looking up at the sky with eyes sparkling with life and passion.

Salvation lets him down gently, for what it's worth, but rejection is still rejection and it hurts.

In the following weeks, as he goes through the motions and pretends nothing happened, he continues to feel the gaze of Salvation on his back, but the constellation stays mercifully silent. Yoo Joonghyuk does not want to know if it's pity he's looking at him with. Even heartbreak heals, of course. Months pass, then years. Lee Seolhwa was a dependable companion to him during the scenarios and stays a steadying presence in the world after. They're compatable. She is someone with who he could see himself growing old.

Salvation told him to 'be free, to fall in love with someone who could be with him, to not waste his time chasing after a dream, to live his life to the fullest'

He knows about his attribute of course, just like he knows everything about Yoo Joonghyuk.

Yoo Joonghyuk sees no point in lying. He tells Lee Seolhwa everything. How due to his attribute he will grown old and die while the rest of them stay youthful as ever, how he doesn't remember his childhood or know his parents. His hopes and dreams, how he yearns to learn his origins. About the first scenario, about the constellation who would have been his sponsor, whom he loves.

Then he asks to marry her. She says yes.

Salvation is the first person Yoo Joonghyuk tells. He's happy for him, of course, says he always knew there was a spark between them.

They live a long 50 years together.

When Yoo Joonghyuk's hair started turning more salt than pepper, he told Lee Seolhwa that he wouldn't hold her. She laughed, stroked his head and said that she might not look it but she is two years older than him, that she vowed to be by his side till death did them apart and she will not break that promise.

When his time comes and he knows he has to leave, he tries to explain himself to Lee Seolhwa at least, if not the rest of his old companions. But he needn't have bothered. Before he could start, she took his hands in hers and smiled wistfully. She told him she always knew this day would come. That his heart has always belonged to someone else. She's thankful for the time he has given her anyway and that she could not have asked for a better husband. She sheads a few tears and Yoo Joonghyuk does too, but he leaves their house with a sense of purpose and a lightness in his heart he has not felt once since the day he beat the final scenario.

And then he accepts the sponsorship contract with Salvation.

... .. Sooo, that's how I think round zero went.

[air--so--sweet]

So, Aidan Gallagher was the last cast member to wrap on season 4, and he wrapped several days after everyone else which I've been presuming means we're getting some apocalypse flashbacks but I've just had another idea.

We see Lila and Five travelling to what looks like the original apocalypse, what if they see young Five in the apocalypse? I think it could be really interesting as I don't think any of the other characters fully appreciate what he went through (well, Luther appreciates what it feels like to live in total solitude). Especially when he came back looking exactly like he did when he ran away, but with an adult consciousness instead of a teenage one. It makes it very easy to forget he got stranded and had to learn how to survive in an apocalyptic wasteland as a literal child. While grieving everyone and everything he has ever known.

And I think for Lila to be the character to witness that, as someone who has quite an antagonistic, but also incredibly loving relationship with Five (I was going to say though neither would admit it, but actually I feel both of them had dropped almost all pretense of hating each other at the end of season 3. I don't know if either would verbally express love for each other but in the same way I don't know if either would verbally express love for anyone) would be incredibly affecting. Especially as, unlike his siblings, she never knew teenage Five, she has always known him as an adult who looks like a teenager. I feel like for Lila to witness firsthand the brutality Five experienced alone in the apocalypse, and to realise he was really just a child, especially now that she has a child herself...well I think it would be truly upsetting for her but also giver he a deeper understanding of Five and just how important his family is to him (and family is what Lila desires and values most in the world too).

But also, it will make her realise how similar Five's experience was to her own. Because both were caused to suffer at a young age by the Handler, Lila by having her parents murdered, Five by being left in the apocalypse for 45 years when she could have plucked him out at any point, and then exploited for her own gains with little to no care given to how it sould affect them. Five says The Handler made it so he couldn't belong anywhere, that she made him a killer; she more or less did the same thing to Lila.

Most theories I write are just 'Oh this would be cool if it happened' or 'Look at this ridiculous idea I had', but, now I've imagined it, I'll be really disappointed if we don't see Lila and Five witness younger Five in the apocalypse. Damn...

Also, while writing this it occurred to me that, if the scene where Lila is crying is in the subway, which is looks like it is, maybe she isn't crying because something happened her daughter or Diego (as most of us presumed), maybe it's related to her seeing something The Handler did in another timeline. Or maybe it's just the emotional impact of seeing The Handler in the flesh again, knowing Lila loved her and saw her as her mother, and The Handler was happy to murder Lila in cold blood when she realised she couldn't manipulate her anymore. That's bound to fuck you up. (To be be clear, because I think how I phrased this suggests we'll definitely see The Handler again, I have no idea if we will or won't but with the hopping of timelines it's a possibility.)

Or maybe Lila sees what The Handler took from her, what life would have been like if she grew up with her parents. Or again, the effect of just getting to see her parents alive and in the flesh. A train always stops in the same places, it can't just change course or route like any other vehicle. Maybe the subway allows you to move between timelines/time travel but only as an observer. You can't change or effect any events and therefore can't interact with anyone as a result. Imagine the pain of seeing your parents you thought you'd never see alive again and not bring able to interact with them in any way. Or maybe she has to witness their murder again knowing she can't do anything to stop it. It would be a really interesting parallel from their relationship in season 2 to have Five comforting Lila over the death of her parents.

[vampkomori]

Ena the Order is the concept of conforming to Fate, and Elio is an Emanator of Order

welcome to my pre-2,2 theory, i got carried away.

for those yet unaware, theres been a theory flying around that the Goddess of Sigonia, Gaiathra Triclops, is a folkloric interpretation of Ena the Order, on account of the iris of Ena's eye having the same colors as Aventurine's. we can go much further with this though.

(Aventurine's pupils are diamond-shaped, but little Kakavasha has round pupils. its likely that diamond-shaped pupils are a result of becoming a Stoneheart, because Topaz also has diamond-shaped pupils, and Aventurine used to not have them. but i digress)

Anyway, Gaiathra=Ena. Gaiathra is described as a left palm with 3 eyes, arguably Ena also has 3 eyes- two closed ones on their face, and one massive, open eye floating around them.

Gaiathra "reigns over all matters related to fertility, travels, and trickery." (Sigonia, Planar Ornament Relic Set) and is said to have been the one to bestow Aventurine with his luck.

but first: What is Order? Based on the words alone, youd think Order would have more in common with Equilibrium, but evidently that wasnt the case. Considering it was assimilated into the Harmony, it must have overlaps with that though, since the broader path is the one that absorbs the narrower one if their concepts are too similar. So, if Harmony is unity and peace, the idea of everyone joining a happy paradise, then how did the Harmony manage to absorb Order?

"I am filled with curiosity about how THEY swallowed up Order. The hymns of Xipe continue to spread and grow, occasionally overseen by ideology. In contrast, Ena's harmonic songs seems to align within a three-dimensional framework, akin to an emperor maintaining hierarchical order among all creatures. While there may be some overlap between THEIR Paths, the ancient Order is enormous in size, and swallowing THEM would prove far from effortless... Among the Aeons, there exist countless enigmas that surpass my own speculations." - Dev Log for Xipe in Simulated Universe, Herta's comment

Herta doesnt know either, and by all means a freshly ascended Aeon should not have an easy time absorbing someone as ancient as Ena- that is, unless Ena intended for it to happen.

This is a lot of establishing facts before i get to the meat of things. We still dont technically know what Order even is, so lets try figure it out!

"The planets governed by Ena adhere staunchly to established rules, yet I must acknowledge that the various calamities in the cosmos were all hindered by Ena's guardianship, leading to extremely efficient development of civilization among diverse planets. Interestingly, however, civilizations all eventually hit rock bottom because of Order. The ancient planets that once fervently worshiped Order would shine briefly before their total collapse... Perhaps this is the "Path" of these planets." - Dev Log for Ena in Simulated Universe, Herta's comment

So: Order is the concept of adhering to a predetermined outcome- their "path". Ena observes humanity "gazing into a crystal orb containing the cosmos" and ensures that they all follow their predetermined path of Fate. None may go astray, no outside influence may interfere, no matter what fate awaits them, they must follow their set path.

"THEIR voice is composed of syllables sequencing the rise and fall of civilizations in accordance with the Aeon's path."

Ena has the ability to foresee the future, as they dont just sequence the rise, but also the fall of civilizations. They are inherently impartial, just, things are destined to happen and so they see to it that they happen. Order is the concept of conforming to Fate, if a planet is destined to be destroyed by a calamity, then Ena guides it to that outcome.

However, Aeons, despite being concepts, arent just concepts, they have some semblance of sentience, self-awareness. they have goals, they make deals, though humans are unable to comprehend them.

So, Ena conforms to fate, but what is the purpose of doing so? Ena can see the future, but we know Kafka. there isnt just ONE future, theres a lot of futures, and endless paths. So its logical to assume that Ena, by being able to see the fates of civilizations, can actually see the endless amount of paths towards all possible fates, and personally chooses which path is specifically followed. and for the sake of the theory, lets assume Ena is benevolent and guides humanity towards the most fortunate fate (though even the most "fortunate" of fates can still end in destruction)

Before Ena was assimilated into the Harmony, they made a deal with Qlipoth the Preservation: Qlipoth will bring an end to Tayzzyronth the Propagation (as they are interfering with the predetermined Fates of planets) and in turn Ena will help Qlipoth against Oroboros the Voracity somehow (likely foreseeing its Fate and interfering with it). Qlipoth held up their end of the bargain, but Ena was assimilated before they were able uphold their part, which is interesting

We know theres something fishy about the Orders assmiliation into Harmony- it doesnt make sense, especially knowing that Ena foresees the future, and is likely aware of their own fate.

Heres where we remember that Gaiathra is also a goddess of trickery. Theres two possibilities:

Ena foresaw their own "demise" and made a deal with Qlipoth knowing they wouldnt be able to follow through on their part of the promise

Ena, able to see multiple paths for the future, foresaw that being assimilated into Xipe would lead them towards the most fortunate one, so they let themselves be absorbed on purpose, as the Harmony would not have been able to absorb the Order otherwise. The deal was just a bonus.

Either way, Ena would have known of the future, and making a deal shortly before the assimiliation of their path is clearly a scheme- they get something great out of it, and dont have to follow up on it.

Heres where we bring up Elio (and the Stellaron Hunters). We actually still dont know what path they follow, and isnt that so interesting? What path could possibly include following a "script" to ensure a certain future? hmmm

sounds like Order to me!

Elio possesses the ability to foresee future possibilities and the paths that lead towards them. Essentially, the exact ability that Ena is shown to possess. All the futures look pretty bleak though, except for one, which hes trying to achieve by making sure to follow that exact path: his "script". the very definition of Order.

Note also that despite Enas assimiliation, their faction can still exist. After all, Idrila the Beauty is also gone, but the Knights of Beauty still roam around. The path of a deceased or assimiliated Aeon can still be upheld even if the Aeon no longer exists.

Anyway, Elio is basically upholding Ena's legacy by ensuring that we adhere to fate, and guides us towards the most fortunate one. His ability is far too powerful though, so its safe to assume hes an Emanator, since theyre considered to be "as good as emissaries of the Aeons' wills"

*As a bonus, Gaiathra also reigns over "all matters related to 'travels'". if you stretch the definition a little, "travels" could refer to the idea of embarking on paths towards fate. you "travel" on a path, after all.

Theres also this interesting little tidbit here:

"THEY are always so symmetrical and so equal. If we were to rank those most sublime beings, only the Voracity and the Permanence can stand toe-to-toe with the Equilibrium's antiquity... Oh, and also the Order. After Ena disappeared, the Equilibrium's duties have only grown greater. Then, how would HooH perceive Nanook?"- Dev Log for HooH in Simulated Universe, Herta's comment

The fact that Nanook is brought up is pretty funny as theyre the youngest Aeon, and since only the most ancient ones would be able to stand "toe-to-toe" with HooH, youd think as the youngest, Nanook wouldnt stand a chance against them. but they were brought up regardless, in tandem with Ena no less

Coincidentally, Nanook is also the Aeon that Elio wants the Trailblazer to defeat too. Curious! You could say that it is the Will of the Order to see the fall of the Destruction? anyway,

HooH's duties "have grown only greater" since Ena disappeared, meaning that they must have overlapped in some way before, but coexisted. (similarly to how the Remembrance and Preservation coexist, possibly) We dont know much of anything about Equilibrium yet though, so lets put that aside.

Lets talk about luck.

Luck is just chance. The results of "chance" are left up to "fate". We know that not all choices or events matter in the grand scheme of things. Theres endless possible paths, so rolling a 1 or a 6 doesnt matter because it will still lead you onto the same destiny. Luck is irrelevant to fate, it does not influence it. Luck only influences how you arrive at it.

So how do you reconcile that with Order? if Order is staunchly adhering to fate, observing humanity to ensure they all end up on the "right" path, then how does chance, luck, happenstance, fit into all this?

Luck is the ultimate Order, because there is only ONE path that luck can take: the most fortunate one. It does not influence your fate however, luck only influences which one of the countless paths towards your fate you end up on. and always being lucky narrows your potential paths down to just one.

This is also why Nihility was the natural conclusion for Aventurine. If you realize that no matter what you do, you cannot change the outcome of your choices, then you realize its futile and decide to succumb to it. youll always win, so whats the point? Thats Nihility: succumbing to Fate, the inevitability of everything, realizing your choices dont matter. When youre lucky and everything you do leads to the same result then you start to think that maybe nothing matters.

Back on track though. Fate, despite being predetermined, is not singular. as in, theres predetermined fates (plural) waiting for you at the end of your path. theres multiple endings. Luck means you have less paths to end up on but luck does not influence the end goal.

In a way, what Elio is trying to do is very similar to what Aventurines "luck" does: he wants to end up on a very specific path that leads him to a very specific fate, and luck leads you onto one single path, theoretically making it easier to achieve certain fates. Its an interesting parallel.

"Blessing" someone with luck seems a bit too hands-on for someone like Ena, so while we might never know why Aventurine was blessed specifically, we can kind of see it as a sort of trial-run. Ena does not interfere, does not "defy" fate, but bestowing luck onto someone to narrow down their futures is a bit like interference- except its not, only on a technicality. theyre still adhering to the set paths that exist, after all, im not changing fate, what are you talking about? look, hes still on one of your predetermined paths. the fact that he cant go onto other paths is irrelevant if he still ends up at one of the predetermined endings.

As a note though, Ena is not Fate itself. Ena adheres to fate and ensures that humanity follows it. Nihility is basically succumbing to fate and thinking its inevitable and change is futile, and I guess you could see Harmony as the concept of circumventing fate- instead of arriving at one of your predetermined endings, how about you get assimilated into our harmonious hivemind and experience eternal bliss? (lets wait on that 2.2 harmony lore-drop before saying anything about that though)

got off track a little. basically, Ena's Order is the concept of conforming/adhering to Fate. potentially, in their era, Fate was a singular end, because they were the one to guide humanity onto certain paths and towards certain ends (which is why civilizations thrived but ultimately still collapsed). Enas assimiliation was on purpose, although we can only speculate on the reason. so i will. heres my speculation:

Ena is not Fate itself, but a Guide. seeing the countless possible paths and possible fates for humanity, they foresaw the same thing that Elio foresees- a terrible End at the hands of the Destruction that may affect humans and Aeons alike. potentially, Enas Will mightve been to avoid that (but remaining within the confines of fate, not defying it) so they set in motion the steps needed to embark on said path, which necessitated their assimilation into Harmony. if Enas reign caused the Fates of humans to be "set in stone", then Enas disappearance could be seen as humans regaining the ability to choose their own paths, their own fate. Essentially, Enas disappearance wouldve been necessary in order to even create the possibility of an "alternate ending" and leaving the choice up to humanity.

anyway thats the conclusion thanks for coming, godspeed if you read the whole thing. im bad at keeping things short and concise. and i started rambling near the end

as a disclaimer: these are vague thoughts and i change my view on things often. if we get new info in the future that says this was all nonsense then thats that. im not trying to convince anyone. just offering a perspective for funsies

[thinemoonshine]

𓆰𝓅𝑒𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓈 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓊𝓇𝑒 ♡𓆪

cha hyun su x female reader genre: romance, slightly mature (suggestive themes) type: series (but can be read as a oneshot) word count: 1,921

part 2 of series ◄◄ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ part 4 of series

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ synopsis: after the old man, seok hyun, had turned into a complete monster and was killed by the hands of his own wife, the atmosphere in green home has grown more tense- more so towards the other known infected, cha hyun su. meanwhile, hyun su has his own battle to fight; that is against his monster and its persistent trials to break through its enclosure within hyun su. unfortunately for him, his monster's grown impatient for freedom- and (y/n) just so happens to be around ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

'It's annoying, isn't it? To hear me pester you all day and night like this. Why not just... let me free?' Cha Hyun Su's monster tempts him with a tune that it appears to be more of a mockery than it is persuasion.

The poor owner of the body clutches his bag tighter against his chest as he tries to sleep on the now unoccupied couch. He didn't want to lie on it- but if a better cushion will help him sleep faster and rid off the voice in his head then he'll take it.

He's curled like a hook, desperate for rest and cease the unending taunts. And gradually, he does get it thanks to the relentless missions Eunhyuk sends him on. Maybe it's because he got upset when he discovered that (y/n) tailed after Hyun Su on a mission once and the latter didn't bother to tell, or that the latest incident struck a nerve in Eunhyuk but recently, he's been more irritable.

Time passes and soon, it's morning once more. Hyun Su feels just slightly better than before after some forced sleep but it's better than nothing. Besides, the monster's quiet now.

"You can't."

He turns to the door at the faint sound of Eunhyuk's voice. Slowly, he approaches it before pausing when he sees him with (y/n) a few large steps away down the corridor leading towards him. Hyun Su sneakily presses himself against the wall and observes the pair as much as he can from his hidden angle.

"Why not?" (y/n) argues with an evident glare on her face.

Eunhyuk, with his arms crossed and unchanging expression, sighs. "Because you broke the rules. You weren't supposed to join on the mission."

"Yeah, but that's a mission. This is just to visit him in the quarantine room like I always do. Why is it suddenly a forbidden thing to do??" She retorts and crosses her arms, mimicking him as if it will shift the power between them.

But of course, it doesn't and Eunhyuk only furrows. Once again, irritated. "What if he changes when you're in there? What are you gonna do then?"

"I'll run out?? Besides, he's not going to change. He hasn't been getting nosebleeds and even if he does transform suddenly, he could be a non-violent monster like the old man," (y/n) tries to convince the other but obviously, he's got a barrier taller than The Great Wall of China.

"Theories are just theories," he says sternly before swiveling and walking down the corridor to the other direction.

(y/n) stabs daggers at his furthering back. "I'm breaking the lock."

"Have fun."

And he disappears into a room.

The girl sighs exasperatedly before slumping against the wall that faces the quarantine room. Of course she can't break the lock. If she does, everyone's just going to get more anxious and the bad image Hyun Su already has might turn worse.

She lifts his head up and is met with surprise at the sight of Hyun Su gripping onto the bars of the little rectangle opening at the top half of his metal door- dark, round eyes fixed onto her as his cheeks touch the cold cylinders he holds. "Hyun Su... What are you doing?"

Her gentle cadence and smile are vastly different from how she was with Eunhyuk. Clearly, she has a favourite. And Hyun Su loves knowing that.

"I'm...watching," Hyun Su answers slowly.

A small titter escapes her as she closes the distance between them. "That's creepy."

She now stands just a step away from the door as she looks up at him with a dispirited expression. "I don't think I can come in anymore. Eunhyuk's become more strict and he's using the people to back him up. All I can do is just accompany you from out here."

Hyun Su lets his eyes roam on her face and a small smile graces his own as he slowly lets go of the bar and reaches his hand out. (y/n)'s brows raise at the unforeseen behaviour from him and obviously, gives in.

Her hands rests onto his palm which he then curls, clasping hers in his and intertwining their fingers. The girl gulps, flustered and abashed at the sudden skinship, oblivious to his own feelings that can be seen from the red tips of his ears.

"It's okay. This is enough," is what he says and indulges in watching her trying to 'play it cool' by avoiding any eye contact and doing a subtle shuffle. She's adorable.

'She sure is,' a voice echoes inside and Hyun Su's quickly alert. 'Wah... What you feel for her is just so sweet, it's sickening.'

Hyun Su's fingers tighten ever so slightly around hers as he tries to push it away. 'Go away.'

'I can't. Unless you've forgotten, I'm inside your head,' the voice snickers and Hyun Su's heartbeat quickens from annoyance and yet, fear. It's not supposed to come out- not when he's with (y/n). 'And I'm getting awfully impatient.'

His words confuse Hyun Su. 'Impatient? Wha—'

And suddenly, everything turns pitch black.

The abrupt drop of his head causes his forehead to crash against the bars and (y/n) worries for his wellbeing.

"Hyun Su! What's wrong?" She gasps. "You haven't eaten today, have you? Let me get you something."

She turns to leave but the tight hold he has around her hand tugs her back and she nears the rectangular opening, still seeing him with his head down against it.

"No... Don't go..." He then, whimpers, and the fragility in his voice stirs her into a panic.

"Hyun Su," (y/n) softly says his name again and reaches her other hand between the bars- searching for his face to pull it up.

Her palm cups his cheek and he shudders at her touch. A small whisper of her name leaves him as she lifts his face up.

Her eyes flicker between his own closed ones, troubled at his unsolvable pain that causes him to react the way he is. "What's wrong?"

In contrary to her expectations however, Hyun Su nuzzles against her hand- rubbing his face against her palm before he presses his own hand on top.

"Hyun Su has such strong will... I could never," he says and despite using the same exact voice, he sounds too different from the Hyun Su she knows. But what even is she trying to say? Hyun Su isn't Hyun Su?

Everything's too puzzling- especially when he pulls her by the wrist, causing her to collide with the door and her face against the bars.

"Hyun Su, what are you do—"

"I'm lonely," he speaks pitifully and this more familiar tone of voice calms (y/n)'s nerves as she pulls away slightly to look at him who's still keeping her hand against his cheek. 'His eyes...'

"Look at me," she says.

Hyun Su tilts his head into her palm again- the sad, sympathetic expression now shifting to a cocky, devious smirk as his lids open to reveal his black eyes.

No gentle dark browns, just pure abyss.

"You caught me. I knew you wouldn't have wanted me if I were to show myself," monster Hyun Su chuckles and erases the gap between them, now face to face with her.

(y/n) scoffs after quickly concluding that this must be the monster inside Hyun Su. "Want you? Why would you even consider that?"

She yanks her hand back but is swiftly captured by his- now gripping it with more force which makes it impossible to budge.

"Because you want him," he confidently declares and (y/n) feels her heart skip a beat. 'He knows. How does he know?' "At least, that's what I observe... Not that this weakling would ever consider it."

"What do you mean?" Her curiosity gets the best of her. 'Hyun Su would never consider it? Why? Is it really one sided? All this time?'

She's unnerved. He can see it from her expression that's almost begging him to assuage her anxiety, the questions in her head. He grins as his head angles upwards slightly and gosh— (y/n) will be lying if she says she doesn't feel a flutter in her stomach.

"Calm down. He likes you too... maybe a little too much. He thinks he doesn't deserve you, thinks you're better off with someone 'normal' who won't threaten your life," the monster scoffs as if finding the whole thing hilarious. "And yet, just one touch from you and he's tingling all over- craving for more like you're his oasis in the desert."

(y/n) says nothing- no, can't say anything. She's rendered speechless by this sudden, shocking information that she's having a hard time believing. Never once did Hyun Su ask for her affection, and even if he does reach out to her, it'll be momentary; comes and goes in a blink.

An abrupt warmth on her hand makes her jump before seeing Hyun Su kissing it. He plants his lips on the back of her hands, her knuckles, her palm before sliding up her arm to her face- unlatching his other hand from the bar to hold her chin.

He smiles beguilingly as he watches her weigh the voices of her brain and heart, enjoying her panic. "This is what Hyun Su wants. What I'm doing... this is all by him. But I'll be lying if I said I'm not indulging myself either."

"He...wants this?" (y/n) echoes and she can almost hear her sense of rationality and logic shrieking at her for irresponsibly choosing to communicate with a monster.

"Oh, yes," he slurs as his tongue darts out to wet his lip and brings her face closer- his eyes shifting between hers before down at her lips and back up. "So, so much, it wrecks him inside. He feels secure with you, comfortable, happier than ever, but at the same time you taunt him so much with your sweetness that it's venomous. But I like you because of that. Makes it easier to tamper with his mind."

His confession fills (y/n) with dread. All this time... has she been only making things harder for Hyun Su? He's been on war with himself for so long- and she's only adding fire to it.

"Don't worry too much, though. Because without you, he would've been long..." Hyun Su trails off as his eyes trail to her mouth and his thumb brushes over her bottom lip. "Gone."

He pushes his finger in slightly, touching her tongue- making her bite down from surprise and a low groan escapes him at the pain. A pain much too good to actually hurt.

Monster Hyun Su smirks as a scoff sounds from him once more at her immediate retraction and he grips her chin to yank her close.

"You temptress," he hisses before his eyes roll back and eyelids shut. His figure limps and he crashes onto the cold floor of the quarantine room.

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