#everyone has their own priorities going on
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Some asks I got for these in discord, reposting my answers here:
Pierce is on the spectrum, though she does a good job of masking most of the time (until you get her talking about her special interest which is stars and astrology (fun fact she can tell your star sign just by looking at you, very useful power)).
Frieda has BPD, and she handles it by not handling it (that is, she bottles up everything related to it, The Queen must not show weakness to subordinates). Her people don’t say her name and only refer to her as “the queen” out of respect, but a large part of her believes it���s because they disapprove of her (RSD will have you making logical leaps like that, it’s a bitch).
20. Frieda is often jealous of how tight knit her peoples’ bonds with each other are; as the queen she’s often excluded from that since everyone else puts her on a pedestal (as noted previously, they refer to her by title rather than name). More specifically she’s jealous of Hunter’s ongoing thing with Siren, as she’s been yearning for his attention for years and never received it (not in the way she wants, anyway). Again, she handles this by bottling it up, as the queen cannot be distracted by such trivial emotions. Good thing glass bottles are famously sturdy, this practice will surely continue to be a sound one.
If Maya is jealous of anything, it’s her peers’ ability to be content with tedium. With a perfect memory, she’s painfully aware of how much repetition the average day has, but her fellows don’t seem to notice, or if they do, don’t seem to care. Hell, some of them appear to find comfort in the routine, the normalcy. She attempts to shake this feeling off, but like everything else in her flawless recall, she can never entirely put it away.
25. My favorite aspects of both are going to be the angsty parts because apparently I’m a sadist.
For Frieda it’s the dehumanization. The Titans made her to be a living weapon. The gods branded her as an abomination for existing. And her own people turned her into a martyr, a Messiah figure that could prop up their fragile hopes. At no point does Frieda get to be Frieda; She’s Zero, or Priority Target One, or The Queen. Max will be the first person to treat her as human in a long time, and that’s going to be a profound moment for her that I really look forward to.
For Maya it’s going to be exploring all the detriments to a flawless memory and how the human psyche wasn’t meant to handle having that sort of ability. Imagine every mistake you’ve ever made, every abuse you’ve suffered, every pain you’ve felt, as crystal clear in your mind as the moment it happened. How do you heal? How do you move on? I do so love a good “your great power is really a curse” trope.
Frieda certainly wouldn’t think she could get away with it. Tenet Two of the demititans’ code is to do no willful harm against a fellow demititan, and to her mind she isn’t above the code. Her people on the other hand would feel differently. As I said above, they’ve turned her into their Messiah; all their hopes for survival rest in her. While it would be a deeply unsettling event for many, they’d find some way to justify it if only to keep her at the forefront, to keep her trying to save them.
4. Frieda’s innate instinct when scared is to freeze, followed by flee. Years of training have embedded a fight response in her, but part of her still feels the urge to run and hide when shit gets scary.
9. “Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along.” -Terry Pratchett
19. Rage makes Frieda’s calm and collected queenly mask fall away entirely. It’s the one emotion she’s never had much practice at containing, so when it comes out, it really comes out. Violence is basically a guarantee at that point.
Edgy/misc OC ask meme ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Send me a number and an OC, and I'll answer.
What memory would your OC rather just forget?
What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?
What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?
When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?
How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?
How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?
What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?
Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?
Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?
What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?
What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?
Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?
If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?
How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?
Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?
What is your OC's pain tolerance like?
What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?
Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?
How does your OC behave when enraged?
Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?
Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?
What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?
What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?
What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?
What is your favorite thing about your OC?
#my ocs#percy jackson ocs#demititans#the tomb of time#my fic#oc ask game#Frieda Contritus#Pierce#Maya#Siren#Lots of love for Frieda with my discord friends <3#No love for Hunter lmao
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Definitely not a complaint nor your fault - I love your shit. Wanted to support you! I guess I should buy a sticker for the Sexy man poll!
Oh, $2.99? Haha why not. Oh, it's USD. That's fine too! Oh, shipping to Australia is $13.00 Oh, that's also in USD Oh, the funny WIP Cross sticker is $23 Australian 💀
Again, not your fault I live on the other side of the planet HAHA just... Cries 😭
Oh man i see what you mean by that ; ; but If its not doable for you, sharing it around or even liking it is enough💕
tho cuz the pre-orders r already over, thanks to all people who shared it around and liked it!💕 if you bought some, thank you as well!^^
#text post#asks#never feel sorry when u cant afford some merch#everyone has their own priorities going on#i know it may feel sad when u cant afford some#ive been through many similar situations lol#thanks to all peeps involved!#even if u liked shared bought some#hope to make more preddy merch in the futuree :D#cuz designing merch is funn
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idk it sounds reasonable to me for a teenager to run away bc they didn't want to eat their veggies!
one hopes that by the later stages of childhood a parent will have figured out which veggies and preparation styles work for the kid, and the kid will have resigned themself to what they do and don't have to eat according to their parents, and it's all settled into an equilibrium instead of a daily fight. and hopefully as a teen your palette is expanding and you're even willing to eat more veggies then you did as a child.
however, if the kid is extra picky and stubborn, and the parent is extra determined to make sure they eat a good variety (or just eat whatever the parent prepared no matter what it is), it could absolutely continue to be a regularly-repeated fight. and if something is a continued point of contention throughout childhood then it absolutely makes sense for a teen to go FUCK this, i am nearly an ADULT i am done being told to eat my veggies i am gonna prove my independence and make them realize i don't have to just sit there and let them boss me around!!
like, the childishness of the fight is exactly why a teen would run away about it.
#i'm so picky and only got pickier throughout my teen years#i usually just made myself a separate quick meal when i didn't like dinner#if my parents hadn't let me and had tried to insist i eat the same thing as everyone else?#well. idk what i woulda done bc that would require they have an entirely different parenting style overall.#so who knows what kind of person i would be lol#but leaving the house for a couple hours seems pretty reasonable to me#but it's also normal for a parent to have an 'everyone sits at the table and eats what i've prepared' rule#for a variety of reasons ranging from well-meaning to self-centered#and i'm sure there are parents who will even try to foist the same old veggie rules upon adult children visiting for the holiday#i think 'what's the latest age at which a veggie fight might occur' says more about the parents than the kid#since they're the one turning it into a fight instead of letting it go#so ig if you want them to be closer to model parents then sif would have to be pretty young#but i think 'the type of parent to never stop arguing about veggies' is an interesting flaw to add#to make a parent who is loving and wonderful overall but has their own blind spots and mixed up priorities#isat spoilers#isat#siffrin#I UNDERSTAND WHY people think sif must be young and i'm fine w that#this is just my perspective :)#thoughts about siffrin#thoughts
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As a Trump supporter who knows how tariffs work and understands that making things more expensive for companies can make things more expensive for customers, if people don't like the shit that gets too expensive this great capitalist nation gives them the freedom to find cheaper business. And eventually the big businesses who are needing to pay money to import and aren't getting business for it are gonna have to stop importing or accept a loss in customers. Or...the people don't mind paying more and they keep buying expensive things. Its a great thing that they have the freedom to make their own choices! And that they accept responsibility for that choice. Not to mention the immorality that comes with using cheap foreign labor so you don't have to pay American workers proper wages, but I'm sure the party who likes communism isn't too worried with borderline using slave labor.
If you are a trans person that feels your life is going to get more difficult with Trump in office you are honestly probably a minor and in that case, I wish you all the best luck on your journey AFTER you are an adult and are SURE you want to transition. If you aren't a minor, no one wants to hurt you or make your life harder, they want the general entitlement of the trans community to stop harming normal, everyday Americans. I encourage you to realize that being trans is 100% a first-world issue and that you choose to identify yourself as a gender you are not biologically, and that everyone around you has other things to worry about besides validating you. Your life won't be so hard as a trans person if you focus on bigger priorities than what your gender identity is. No, you will not be extra oppressed. You will be made to follow the same good samaritan rules that every American must follow and if that's so hard, try your luck in another country. I'm sure Britain would love you.
Shoutout to the two coworkers today who casually announced that they were voting for Trump, then asked me who I was voting for. I told them "I did early voting, and I voted for the candidate who isn't going to make it harder for me to exist as a trans person" and both of these women had to awkwardly try and assure me that it wasn't personal, and it's not like they hated Harris or anything, they actually do like some things about her, and they definitely don't hate me, of course not, it's just that, you know, well, it's like, well, you know, it's just, like, and no matter how many times they tried to pass the shovel off to me, I just let them hold onto it
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seriously, does Don E's season 3 plot even make sense if you assume that his relationship with Blaine is completely professional or casual or whatever.
#izombie#fandom#Don E#Blaine DeBeers#finding out your boss was faking his memory issues to seduce a hot lawyer? You quit. Or not. Perhaps block their number.#You find out that your friend is faking his memory issues to get with a hot lawyer? You probably end that friendship and block their number#if you're really close and you lost your best friend bc of this you're definitely going to feel sad and angry and betrayed#but freeing their abusive father to start and selling out his customer data and coming back to gloat about it#also frequently indicating how jealous you are of the new relationship(s) that 'former friend' has now#when you no longer should care about him at all. And continuing with this stupid plan even when you're clearly miserable about it#not to mention being involved in 2 attempts on your former friend's life and they threaten you right back AND THEN YOU FORGIVE EACH OTHER#in a matter of SECONDS. After he killed everyone else in the shop and also killed everyone who ever betrayed him.#Not even his own twin brother ranked that high in Don E's priorities.#Don E just has the energy of a guy who keeps getting pulled back into that stupid Blaine orbit
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Tag drop: Seele (Honkai: Star Rail). Listen, I used to write her and I miss her a bit, and also: there's Belobog people around. And also, well, she's much more interesting than people give her credit for. Also, prepare for some 'rewriting', because Belobog's pacing in specific ways kind of blew a little bit much.
#seele. [ we tell them “things will be better tomorrow.” everyone knows it's a lie; but it gets them to sleep with some hope. ]#seele: ic. [ he always says “humanity's endless conflicts”; but you don't get peace by offering everything up on a silver platter. ]#seele: inquiries. [ that's not the only thing you won't have heard of down here; princess. ]#seele: countenance. [ to all those thugs and gangsters in the underworld; i'm like a spectre always haunting them. ]#seele: introspection. [ the chief's right. sometimes a sharp blade is the only way to get people to come to their senses. ]#seele: meta. [ she got used to people losing their homes. and she got used to people losing their lives. but crying alone was useless. ]#seele: little notes. [ they only eat half their meal; throw the rest away. do they know people below haven't got enough food to eat? ]#seele: wishes. [ where there's hope: there's the will to fight. ]#seele: etc. [ a young girl smiles subtly. “how? right here; right now; i am alone… but it feels... very lively.” ]#seele: underworld. [ what's more important than miracles; seele. is to protect people's hopes for miracles. ]#seele: overworld. [ oleg saw how a look of gloom passed over her tender face. “let's go back. i don't want to come back here again.” ]#seele: sampo. [ wildfire has countless issues on its place right now. we don't need a side order of koski. ]#seele: sampo. [ so we're there; now it's real. now that you have me; do you want me still? ] inominati.#seele: bronya. [ they go their separate ways: one stepping into the light; and the other into the shadows. until one day; they meet again.#seele: natasha. [ i learned quickly that tantrums won't get you anywhere. she knows how to give you a taste of your own medicine. ]#seele: oleg. [ i probably owe my life to the chief. ]#seele: hook. [ don't let her appetite for chaos fool you; i think that kid's going places. ]#seele: v. youth. [ everyone in the dark side of town knew that fearless homeless girl. everyone wanted to avoid that wild; stubborn rascal.#seele: v. underworld. [ just what we all need: more lies about a world that never was and never will be. ]#seele: v. present. [ can you imagine the consequences if we told the people what happened here? they'd be devastated. ]#seele: v. future. [ ... priorities? what do you mean? are you saying rebuilding the underworld isn't one of your “priorities”? ]
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i know ive talked about this a lot on akira but idk how much ive brought it up here ?! the struggles of talking about all my muses across all my blogs (will not change). but ive been thinking about it again, because akira 1) talks more than gran does 2) is more likely to actually speak up about their/your feelings. not to say gran wont address it, but theyll either be very short about it or show it through actions. motivational speeches is reserved for moments when its expected of them (captain stuff in main story, shieldsworn, etc) <-guy who actually does not like being the center of attention
there are times when they get better at it, depending on situation & ppl involved (vyrn&lyria has special rights, even tho there are times when they dont get to know either (no rain no rainbow....)), as the grandcypher & things theyve been through has them learning to rely on others a lot more. in general theyre rly thankful to have lyria around at most times cuz of how easily she feels for others (as someone who gained the life back in her eyes thanks to katalina!), cuz while theyre very often of the same feelings as her, shes a lot quicker at voicing it.
not very related but, gran, as someone who does know how to fight, is instead a lot quicker at stepping in front of others. ofc akira isnt, theyre Normal (even tho theyre always shown doing exactly that anyway if the situation calls for it/the time they ignore a death threat towards them in order to relay important information), but im mentioning it cuz i think a loooooooot about the times theyve jumped off islands/cliffs just to save ppl (alliah, at least 2 times in grimnirs fate eps alone, bnha..........). also constantly think about the yurius event when yurius goes to sacrifice himself and captain & albert are just wtfffff get OUT of there COME BACK HERE and refusing to leave him. caims 5* uncap........ i truly do think a lot about that moment in paradoxroid where no one goes after owen and akira decides to do it themself likeeee.......and akira who stood in front of owens body to protect him from a unicorn,,,,,,(gesture vaugely) something about the things the varied experience about the things they have in common
#stardust speaking !#the jumpscare i had when captain said some cheesy stuff in canon#when akira says that stuff like all the time#tldr akira is more consistent with dialogue-amount. gran varies a lot depending on situation & topic#emu is..............emu also hides away. smile of a dreamer has her trying to shoulder keeping the park her grandpa envisioned safe alone#and kirapika also has her carrying her feelings alone. 'if ure going to cry then cry in front of us' ughhh nene..........#always thought wxs conflict was neat because emus priority is the wonder stage while tsukasa & nene increasingly looked for things#beyond that. rui who asked emu and emu who said that she was going to stay with the wonder stage. gggggggggggggg perhaps ill read through#their main events before kirapika......#anyhow. emu & gran ppl who will not tell u when they are really really sad#IM RAMBLING but sr joel always makes me dizzy. captain who went with the assumption he was leaving the crew. and instead of#like. confirming it with him. instead got sad all on their own. and joel who rightfully gets mad with them because of it once he finds out#dude its so good its. 1) ive always liked joel so when his sr released i was like hell yeah 2) the fact they gave me this much captain stuf#of things theyve alrdy established too (captain is very worried after erste about everyone going separate ways too). ughhhhhhh gran who rly#does not want ppl to leave but also does not have the heart to ask them to stay#and is too afraid to actually discuss ppl leaving -> ends up making one-sided assumptions#when ure the captain & had to learn to rely on ppl (anime s1 is sooo big on this too) & struggle tremendously with expression urself
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the homoeroticism of sharing a cigarette while overlooking a city you both want to save and are willing to sacrifice everything to do so while desperately clinging to the hope you both can somehow still live to see another sunrise.
#shoutout to batgordon gotta be one of my favourite pairs that makes my mutuals annoyed <33#its about having that boundary and barrier that literal mask staring you in the face every single time you talk — the painful reminder you#will never know the man underneath it entirely! yet still that trust to uphold his secret identity! to not peek or rip it off! to not turn#around when he uncowls himself behind you in a theatrical show of HIS trust! its about not opening your eyes while bandaging his injuries#and as your fingers graze the skin that you dont allow yourself to see! its about seeing this mask and accepting it as part of the man and#something he must do and have! its about finding the other person that actually cares about this city as much as you do!#everyone around you is telling you its hopeless yet you remain that hope! you remain dedicated to it and your sisyphus labour because#theres such a small possibility that one day things WILL get better and that's enough to keep you going! its about finding the other person#that has sacrificed and sabotaged their own happiness and life for this city!#its about the smoke burning in your lungs and the cold air you two will always share — if youre lucky.#its about having a consensual workplace relationship that neither of you will acknowledge!#and why should you! theree no point! its never going to happen; gotham and your family is always going to the priority for both of you#but god the stars are beautiful tonight and its so nice to have a friend that actually understands why youre bleeding for this city#its also about sad old men sex & bittersweet heartache memories shared of watching this hungry city shift and change as your blood feeds it
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it truly disrupts me how full of love gojo is
#gojo#like I can only imagine how hard his life has been#the weight on his shouders#the pain of losing the one person he thought would always be around to make his life a little lighter#a little bearable#his best friend and better half#suddenly having a kid to raise as HE was still a kid himself#spending a life breaking his back to make sure none of the people he cares about go through what he has to go through in terms of sorrow#he loves and protects everyone and everything despite his shattering loneliness#he's never his own priority#he knows he can never be and yet he's so. full. of. love#idk I'm just...#v rambles
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my mom isn’t letting my dad go back to his office bc him being out of the house stresses her out and makes her have a flare up and it’s like kind of insane. like i understand why the idea of him doing that would make her panicky and angry as someone who also struggles w separation anxiety and abandonment shit / has physical symptoms from that kind of stress (though not to the same degree ofc) but also he is a grown man. he should be allowed to go to his office and not have to shape his entire life around her needs. and she keeps guilt tripping him out of it and it’s impacting his quality of life a lot and the whole thing is kind of… hm
#purrs#delete later#also she’s guilt tripping me into coming to the stupid fucking potluck on sunday bc she needs the extra help and it’s like… what are you#gonna do when i move out. like i am a grown woman and i should be able to choose how i spend my two precious weekend days. and my dad is a#grown man and he should be able to choose where he works. like is that not a little bit insane. i get it but also….. i do think it s kind of#fucked ip that it’s her way or the highway and her needs take priority over all of ours and she’s asking us to bend to what she wants when#she wants it. like i get it bc she’s sick but it’s not fair for her to expect that from my dad especially. particularly when me and my#brother are back at work / school in more high risk environments than my dad who would be in a private office alll day. and the thing is no#one is brave enough to all her on it bc if we did it would be the END of the world. she even threw a fit on my dads bday and complained bc#the things he wanted to do were things she didn’t want to do like all the man wanted to do was go mini golfing and when that wasn’t good#enough he just wanted to go on a walk and my mom complained the whole time and also scoffed the movie he wanted to watch and said it was#boring and it’s like… wtf it’s HIS birthday??? but what do you expect from the woman who (and in fairness her friends got her these as gifts#but still) has TWO kitchen items that say some variation of ‘a marriage is when one is always right and the other is always the husband’ 💀#i look at that little plaque every night bc it’s in front of the sink when im doing dishes and it makes me so fucking angry. like my dad is#a whole fucking person and he can be right too and he deserves to make choices and be happy and not have his wife put him down all the time.#idk. and she puts down his family all the time too and complains when he wants to do the most reasonable things for his own enjoyment that#don’t align with hers and criticizes his interests all the time and it just sucks to see. he never shows hurt or anything so idk how he#feels about it but it makes me so angry and sad and when i tell her to stop she just lashes out at me so. 🤪. like how do we get her to stop#making her needs more important than everyone else’s bc… she may be our mom / his wife / whateger but that doesn’t make her queen. no one is#(andalso this has only gotten worse bc of covid / her being sick. like this has been a lifelong thing it’s just it’s a lot worse now bc the#circumstances gave her room / forced her to have to take up more space. and it’s just so frustrating. i get it. but none of us are pawns or#dolls or subordinates or anything. there’s 5 adults here and we should all be able to make choices and not be guilt tripped by her. lol#)
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laura won't die for her comrades. she won't sacrifice herself. and when you first hear that of her, she sounds awful. cowardice. she does herself no justice in correcting it either. but if you fought with her then you know. it's not that she won't fight, she is the first one to demand she takes action, if you're even lucky enough to get a warning. in the corps, her captain would advise of the situation, and instead of heeding warning, she'd think; those obstacles just have to die, and the problem is solved. and she'd pull on the reigns of her horse and go. and what was once an intense worry for her unit instead became frustration that she just couldn't obey orders. she'd be yelled at the first few times. 'you have a death wish'. no, I just know I'd win.
she will fight for her comrades. she will take on any dangerous obstacle that stands in their way. but she won't view or act like it's risking her life, even when it is. she isn't giving you time, isn't saving the rest, she's 'going to take down all those obstacles in their way. because she will win. they won't defeat her.' it's not mindless arrogance, not that she's perfectly capable; her strength comes from that defiance to lose, and it's what led to those refined skills during her cadet days and survey corp days. she's a perfectionist, so she trained intensely to get everything precise; her body isn't built for physical combat, so she had to learn to adapt around it. the moment she sets her mind on something nothing could pull her away from it.
the one nice thing about laura is that she won't die on you. if you tell her to die for humanity, she'll tell you she won't. she'll live and fight instead. once she looks at something and tells herself, I have to win. there's not much you can do to stop her. she can't even stop herself. in turn, she also doesn't want people dying for her. she won't let you. if you get hurt because of her, she won't leave you alone for days. she is responsible for you now; even as she criticizes you for being stupid and that she doesn't need your protection. she sees her own life as important because it's her life, but when other people also feel that way with her it's overwhelmingly different that she doesn't know what to do with that information and ultimately appears like a prissy prick.
#ℒ ༺ ☾⋆* headcanon. ✧. ┊ SUCH A RIFT BETWEEN THEM ◞#(laura is. very complicated. she has her own code that makes little sense to anyone else)#(she can be so self aware and still so arrogant in the way she holds herself)#(she wants to be kind but appearing 'fragile' makes her uncomfortable)#(she holds a deep understand for people and chooses to ignore it because she's also suspicious of everyone)#(she puts herself as priority and thinks highly of herself. and she has a distain for herself and knows deep down she's still running)#(even I can't keep up and I MADE HER)#(instead of writing - she took over my brain and now I am just thinking things)#(I might send memes out on mobile before bed dshdfg on both blogs)#(but sorry she took over today and I am going crazy at her)
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pro: im graduating today!
con: i cannot stop crying over stupid shit
#vent //#its not even anyones fault either#it just sucks when all ur friends have big families and ppl who r gonna b there for them and u have a grand total of two ppl showing up#both of whom live in town.#bc u technically have a big family but no one is on talking terms and other people have more important things going on bc ur NOT the#priority & its so stupid but my graduation & my birthday fall within the same two weeks and i barely did anything to celebrate#bc i know its pointless bc i don't have anyone to invite. and then everyone with big families complains about it.#and ik having big families has its own complications but hey at least you were important enough to SHOW UP FOR
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🙃
#I like my job and I like my coworkers#And honestly they’d be more justified in not liking me#I’m the youngest and the most emotionally immature (I think)#So I keep finding myself irritated and distraught at things I should probably be able to let go of?#But I think I’m the problem (it’s me hi)#Not everyone else?#And so as much as I want to be frustrated I think this is a situation where I’m in the wrong and have to grow#Well I KNOW I’m in the wrong for being impatient with one lady—#Her husband is going through a medical crisis (on-going + receiving treatment)—#So while it IS true that she’s not technically making things smooth at the moment#She’s juggling a bajiliion difficultthings and doing it remarkably well on the whole#Unlike me who is emotionally struggling in my new job and has few external problems#But also. There’s that weird Dorothy Sayers quote I don’t understand that’s like#“Don’t persuade yourself into appropriate feelings”#And idk what that’s all about but THE POINT IS#That I AM frustrated and hurt and feeling needy and unsupported and like the things that are priorities for my job#Are being undervalued by her and so I’m not receiving the due amounts of her attention#.#and I need to forgive her for that.#Because regardless of all extenuating circumstances I’m still hurt by her#And I can’t pretend that I don’t feel that way#but I can 1) understand where she’s coming from#2) acknowledge the reality of the situation including my own feelings good and bad#3) resolve to do what is loving and leave the rest to God#So!#I left my office to work somewhere else and I’m going to have coffee and make my peace with everything#And just do my duty and not worry about what I can’t control :)#but I needed to process first#Please pray for me not to hold grudges please#Because I do struggle with that
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something abt The Family Unit as this bordered site potentially of a little system of authoritarianism being that it's really this example plenty of people have of how like, You Would Think "oh if the people In Charge realize the structural integrity of what they're in charge of & say they're Supporting is being degraded then surely on a practical basis they'd change course? compromise?" & like the compromises Are continually made to shore things up a little longer but it's a pyramid scheme & it's continuously crumbling. & the Logic of the authority is what's held on to no matter what, not whatever else is claimed to be the goal (e.g. having a Good Family, workplace, corporation, country...) & that means having all the power, which is never actually the case or possible so since that goal's never met it's really just about having More power (what's next, constant profit growth), & everything's oriented around That, such that yeah strategic fleeting compromises may be made but as this structure inevitably deteriorates further, i.e. the control as successfully applied power is being lost, it's not about compromising more & more until eventually things are egalitarian, it's more about lashing out & doubling & tripling & quadrupling down on the exact same measures always taken anyways, because of how the entire like belief is in being the authority, expressed by forever only following the logics of authority/hierarchy & control/abuse
that is to lead into how like, the Failure of [ostensible alternate practical goal: the cohesion of the perfect family(tm)] can happen in more obvious ways / on shorter timeframes than, say, the agenda of propping up an empire, & so there's like all this evidence of how even when the theoretically inviolate borders of The Family are ruptured there's like "wouldn't the relevant family members change their approach in the face of this undeniable failure. wouldn't they question themselves." b/c like, surely? how could you not? but the experience being overwhelmingly "absolutely they do not" with instead the doubling down, perhaps the strategic compromises that are then only used to wear away the targeted parties & then (perhaps after an incremental transition) be back at it once that defense is seemingly breached, but the same logic seems to "work" even in situations where whatever Unit is destroyed, partnership, family, friendship, acquaintanceship, b/c the sense of [i am entitled to More] is just like. undisturbed or "supported" by the ruptures & lack of access to whomever, the Denial of what they feel they're already entitled to. the dehumanization of others / No Need to ever have to consider & contend with those ppl's real feelings if you control their life enough anyways is all still at play & there's no room for even Now considering if you were wrong about how someone felt, so the logic might also default to things like "it's a total mystery but what matters is i was / am wronged" &/or "well things would've been great if i had my total authority like i should have & imagine i could have, so basically some Other enemy authority must be at fault (e.g. guess my child was converted by the gay agenda, the devil, the evil outside world, communist spies, anarchists, [the pc police the virtue signalers the woke dei agents the "almost forgot abt 'critical race theorists'"]" that it just so happens that agendas of Autonomy & Equality are ones that seem to inherently insidiously threaten & undermine their own. like yeah you're not wrong about that but in also true [every accusation a projection] form of course the belief must be that They are fostering bliss & freedom & the jealous evil agents of The Other are always trying to stop them :(
like "don't they realize this is counterproductive to the wellbeing of [what they're in charge of]" like compromises may be temporarily made along the way but not Really, no, & when push comes to shove it'll be about the priorizing of asserting & holding on to Controlling Lives vs anything that'd serve anything else. & that again, with families like you might see the decided Failure of that, e.g. very limited or completely absent relationship with an adult child, and you see that like. the Authority guardian/s who are the reason with it don't change their approach. any adjustments are strategic & meant to Ultimately restore the status quo; the people who managed to extricate themselves have to rely on their own ability to actually manifest their own choices to, say, be able to remove themself from the presence of this person if they want. and that like even with that lifelong experience of dealing with that Authority & the system under them it can be so difficult to believe like do they really not even question themself on all this despite the actual external consequences manifested? b/c the Logics are so different. the child made effectively Responsible for the actions of an adult or two / the supposed Wellbeing of the family is so much more used to having to consider others' Feelings & what might make them act xyz way, b/c of that impossible but evident tasking with being harmed if there's any Problems there, versus that the person "in charge of" the wellbeing of the family & individuals therein (& certainly the young children) being concerned with their own entitlement & whether everything seems to reinforce their authority, flexing it if not, disinterest in so much else, resentment for the physical needs of children as a begrudged investment in then lifelong entitlement to kids as property to give deference / whatever support you want. & when these "supported" children are never "grateful" enough, i.e. not noticeably thwarting efforts to access whatever a parent feels entitled to (with, exactly in line with all of this, pretty invariably Issues With (denial of) Any Boundaries, e.g. not allowed to close that bedroom door this is my house, not allowed to not want to be touched i made that body, not allowed to be unsupervised what are you hiding, not allowed to say no, not allowed to have feelings/moods/preferences/opinions not in harmony with mine...) like it's supposedly only an extreme, all the more sympathetic (to the authority parent) escalation of this Ingratitude to, if possible, escape the realm of said authority. can't believe they'd do this to me
just that tl;dr of like "but at this point [authority] is sabotaging themselves i.e. the longevity of any system where they even have that position of authority? surely they realize that & change their approach b/c they Have To?" & beyond "no, not necessarily" like it's so almost Necessarily that "they definitely will not & will just try to 'invest' in their perpetual authority (which is always trying to be Increased b/c it's also never total or unbroken) by upping the violence & lashing out & ignoring w/e they have to ignore b/c they do Not have any actual alternate way to address it" like no the parents lose the entire relationship with children & don't have Realizations abt it, don't question themselves, don't make a real change, don't stop feeling as, & increasingly, entitled
#you'd think they would. but they do not think that they would. it's a completely different Logical Framework#the impenetrability of ''i'm Superior to anyone; objects/props/property/tools in My life for My agenda''#if there's negative consequences of this treatment & it's constantly shattering b/c That Is Not Reality? it's just them being Wronged#you can just believe that forever. if you're trying to reject even the Vulnerability of [gotta consider other ppl Have thoughts; feelings]#then taking on the Vulnerability of; for one thing; That; & an entire upheaval of the rest of what you've built your whole Self around.....#it does not really happen. presumably some outliers / sure it can be Possible but even then it's like#is the priority ''converting'' ppl doing this. Convincing them to stop. or in how those affected can throw them off & have more support#yes we all think that would be lovely. but it's a whole Ideology. & [what do i care if xyz Believes im nonhuman if they cannot in practice#act on that belief & make it my problem] the external situations & manifestations of power Can be dealt with by others. ppl's internal#self is their own personal business Ultimately ofc. can feel entitled to Everything Forever sure but gotta get Other Ppl outta that sitch#this has also been resonating with like head in hands deep breath the like. [it's On Sight; Sound; Read Text; Anything] dehumanization as#an autistic person like ppl Do immediately assess the [this person's existing wrong] diagnosis & do not necessarily ''learn'' otherwise#the vulnerability is pounced on / the ''opportunity'' for abuse in any situation b/c it's Deserved in this case ofc / the like ''we Do#officially label you Autistic & we Do prescribe; even require; abuse about it'' aba / rejection/ostracization / pathology / Inferiority#like what else can you do but go ''maybe ppl will change their minds? maybe i can act a way to convince them to do so?'' But No#ofc all Compounding vulnerabilities only feed into all other systems of dehumanization / vulnerability / abuse / disempowerment#my experience being autistic seemed to support my experience w/family abuse...B/c It 100% Did support it#other disabilities; less resources; more poverty; appearing nonwhite & ''worse'' black; cultural ''difference'' from the norm(tm)....#further layers (often given ''priorities'' like how Race is given 1st Consideration in who's ''beneath'' whom) in dehumanization#which is an ideology people have to Reject to; you know; humanize everyone they encounter. but they don't ''have'' to so: might not!#& obviously playing into it is what's encouraged And demanded so yeah go find the ppl in Your life to scapegoat / deem inferior! to cope!#while this is so entrenched/supported By Everything As Is that it's just ppl ''being normal'' instead of consciously disdainfully violent#so it's Something having to go ok no the double standards never cease the Sympathy (i.e. again taking unilateral Responsibility for other#ppl's feelings (& by extension hopefully their resultant actions)) will never even afford you Being Liked much less the Basic Respect#whether someone happens to personally find you Likable or not in the first place. have to ofc Hope others have other principles about it#which; you know; the logic of Ableism is in all the systems of dehumanization & exploitation. it's Just Biology / Reality....#everyone's so Great abt things now. def don't have ppl like ''haha the lack of social skills am i right autists'' / ''annoyingly nd ppl''#just saying the same shit in an XD arm slung around your shoulder tone now. dont want me saying Idiot this is why i love ableism#(it was bc everyone is already taught to love ableism & leverage it however they can) i wasn't a violent bigot: then the leftists pwned me#anyways consulting Exp. w/Authoritarian Family sure can be a touchstone recognizing resonances anywhere else. dynamics/interactions. govts
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mini vent so I can sleep
#idk why i deleted my vent blog i need to make a new one#vent kinda thing#peppa talks#my mum's side of the family were all really close and i pretty much grew up with my cousins and we'd see each other all the time#big events like Christmas we'd all be together#but then also random things through the year like meals and parties and holidays we'd do together#but now that we're all grown up they don't really come to any family events anymore#they've all got partners and some are getting married and having kids and even the ones my age are in committed relationships#where they'll go to their partner's family events#and just feeling the family grow apart when i know I'll never have that?#I don't want a partner and I'm happy with that fact. but seeing everyone else drift away just hurts sometimes#like. what happens to me when they're all gone? it already happened last year when they all went to new years with their partners#and i was left alone with my parents aunts and uncles all telling me i should be off having fun like the others are doing#but I miss how it used to be and the fun i used to have with the family. and i just don't know what's going to happen when i never date#and I'm too cautious to ever insert myself into my friends' lives. especially when they have a partner#because i always put myself as their last priority and nobody has ever contested my placement#i know it's my fault and I'm self sabotaging but i give my all to all my friends and even when I'm putting all the work into the friendship#they'll still let me drift away and stay as the lowest priority#so when I'm older who am i going to have? I've never been close enough to my friends for them to take me in#my family will have their own families#and I'll just be. there#I'll always continue to believe in people and hope they think to take me on. or even that my family gets closer again one day.#but so far the hope has gone unproven#this got into a much longer vent than i thought#i know it's just 1am thoughts and I'll be better in the morning but it's been lingering with me for a few days now so i needed to get it out
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[Arcane preference] reacting to someone flirting with their s/o + jealousness
I'll be honest, I had like four headcanons on jealousy (and five on pregnancy, curse on you and your baby fever), so making this headcanon became a priority. Plus, I tried to make it a bit longer. As usual, under the "read more" line, you'll find both my other project for Arcane (a series of vintage-style posters) and my other socials in case you want to follow me because you love me too much.
socials: | INPRNT | | Tip Jar | | X | | BlueSky |
poster: | Jayce poster | | Silco poster 1| | Silco poster 2| |Silco poster 3| | Steb poster |
Jayce:
- He’s not the type to cause a scene, nor is he the aggressive kind.
- When someone flirts with you in front of him for the first time, he’s confused for a few seconds.
- The problem begins when the thought starts settling, stagnating, thickening like sediment at the bottom of a bottle. Was the person really hitting on you, or is he just being paranoid?
- Did they not realize you were together? Or did they do it on purpose?
- It doesn’t take long for him to start ignoring you, not even on purpose—he suddenly forgets he’s a scientist, a successful adult man, and spirals into a crisis.
- What if he’s not enough? What if that person realized before him that he wasn’t suited for you?
- You notice something’s off, but he doesn’t say a word. If it happens again, his fists clench, he feels like the world is collapsing on him, and if it persists, he leaves without even thinking.
- He doesn’t want to witness that scene; he’s terrified that you might accept the flirtation, that you’ll realize he’s not good enough for you.
- And if you’re going to leave him, he doesn’t want to see it with his own eyes.
- Eventually, he’ll be the one to bring up the subject, just to tell you that if you’re tired of him, he won’t hold it against you and that he understands.
- It’s not true, but he wants to seem mature. He wants to be a good partner until the end and almost breaks down when you reassure him that you don’t want to leave him, that he is enough.
Viktor:
- Pre-"Arcane s1-tamed" Viktor would snap at the person flirting with you or insult them under his breath.
- In the wrong moment, with enough alcohol in his system, his reaction could even turn violent.
- Viktor gets jealous with anger—a mix of fear of being mocked, the lack of control over the situation, and his sense of replaceability set him off.
- But he’s also an adult. He’ll try to make peace with himself before talking to you about it.
- Post-"Arcane-tamed" Viktor observes you, tries to read your signals. He’s irritated but keeps calm and even interrupts the situation, pointing out that the two of you have things to do.
- He doesn’t wait long to bring it up and is straightforward: “Do you like him?”
- His jealousy is laced with sadness. The thought of losing your warmth, intimacy, and everything he has with you makes him feel empty.
- He knows he’s often absent because of his research, that it’s hard to be with someone with “special needs” because it can be limiting at times. He’s aware of his unique personality and his background. His anger quickly shifts to resignation, becoming a quiet sorrow.
- When you try to reassure him, his response is even sadder: “I know I’m hard to love. I don’t blame you.”
- When someone hits on you, as soon as you’re alone, he holds you closer. During cuddles, he breathes in your scent deeply, as if trying to memorize you in case he will ever have to remember you.
Ekko:
- At the Tree, it’s pretty normal. They share everything, and everyone is just very friendly. If someone flirts with you at the Firelight hideout, he laughs, jokes, and stays calm.
- The problem arises outside of that safe space.
- When someone from outside flirts with you, he’s stunned for a moment, but if it continues, he leaves before you can even respond.
- He knows that if he stayed, things might escalate.
- “I didn’t like how that guy was talking to you,” he blurts out when you try to talk to him, but it’s obvious the issue cuts deeper than that. His tone and downcast eyes reveal that it’s more significant than it seems.
- Living at the Tree has taken your relationship to a deeper level. You take care of the kids together, share everything, and live as part of a big interconnected family.
- The idea of someone threatening the peace of his home, his family, makes him feel like those things he takes for granted could suddenly change.
- That tomorrow, you might no longer be his “married” partner but two strangers.
Vander:
- Vander is too old to be jealous, and has been in enough strange and ambiguous situations not to overreact.
- If someone flirts with you, maybe at the bar in front of him, he chuckles to himself, commenting only after the person leaves that you’re so attractive no one can resist you.
- He doesn’t like it, but it often makes him smile to see others recognize what he sees in you.
- On the night when someone is particularly persistent or you seem to laugh more than usual, he taps his finger on the bar, contemplating what to do. When he catches your eye, he simply mouths, “If you want to go, don’t worry—I’ll close the bar.”
- It’s not about being open to a polyamorous relationship, don’t misunderstand. He believes that a relationship should be based on the fact that you actively choose to be with him, not on obligation. That’s why he gives you the freedom to back out if you want.
- When you shake your head, refuse the other person, and stay with him—maybe touching his hand at the bar when he has a moment of peace—he looks at you with an indescribable tenderness.
- “I’m glad you’re here with me,” he whispers when you’re finally alone, holding you tightly in his arms.
Silco:
- On one hand, he’s too old to make a scene, but when he sees someone flirting with you right in front of him, something inside him falters.
- Being able, after so many years, to form such a deep bond with someone put him in a state of comfort he hadn’t realized might one day be taken away.
- Suddenly, that possibility becomes real, vivid. Outwardly, he shows no emotion and doesn’t lose his composure for even a moment—because if he did, he might lose control. But inside, he feels like he’s dying.
- If you laugh a little too much or don’t explicitly reject the person, the turmoil inside him intensifies rapidly.
- He’s been through too much, and his mind is wired to “strike before being struck,” which is why he immediately becomes colder, seeking emotional distance to avoid being vulnerable.
- He’s not the king of good communication. If you try to ask him what’s wrong, he’ll dodge the question. It’ll take a lot of effort on your part to understand what triggered his behavior, to talk to him and reassure him gently, never too directly.
- You’ll need to show him, through actions, that you haven’t left and don’t plan to before he starts acting normal again—becoming more physically affectionate when you’re alone.
Jinx:
- Jinx is possessive and jealous, living in constant fear of being both not enough and too much at the same time—of losing everything she has and being abandoned by anyone who can still leave her.
- It’s in those rare moments when the buzzing behind her eyes quiets, when she’s at rest, that for a single second, just one fleeting instant, she allows herself to forget that fear.
- And then, when you’re together, and someone pays you a compliment that makes you laugh, something snaps in her head.
- Do you know them? Why are they so friendly? Why don’t you say something? Why did you stop walking? Walk, dammit, walk. Why are they touching your shoulder? Why don’t you stop them? Why don’t you stop them? WHY DON’T YOU STOP THEM.
- The likelihood that the person who flirted with you ends up found the next day with a broken limb in a dumpster is extremely high.
- But even that doesn’t calm her. When you get home, she isolates herself, spiraling into thoughts that maybe, if you could, you’d have gone with that person or followed them.
- She’ll need lots of affirmation and both verbal and physical reassurance before she calms down.
Vi:
- Her jealousy exists, it’s there, but she expresses it in a very straightforward way.
- Having been forced to grow up too quickly and unable to throw tantrums because she was responsible for her siblings, her emotions have always been carefully bottled up and dealt with through questionable coping mechanisms.
- Sure, having someone by her side now means she can’t go brawling in the streets, especially when the reason feels so trivial.
- Usually, she doesn’t even pay much attention to it, but this time, exhaustion, stress, or a moment of vulnerability probably made the situation unbearable.
- And as always, if you have questions no one can answer, the solution is probably at the bottom of a glass.
- She doesn’t want to burden you with how she feels; it’s not even your fault, and she knows it’s stupid to feel this way. But when she’s forced to confront the idea that you may not a constant in her life, that maybe you want something better, something more—at that moment, she needs to get out, to scream, to punch something, with enough alcohol in her system to pass out in an alleyway.
- She struggles to talk about it, hates making you responsible for her emotions, and hates that she has to make you worry when it’s not your fault.
- When you bring it up and try to approach her with an attitude that makes her feel reassured, she has moments of being emotionally fragile, more vulnerable than usual.
Caitlyn:
- This woman is a lady killer—it’s sadly very normal for people to get jealous of her.
- At work, during conferences, or noble meetings, she’s used to people flirting with her. That’s why, when she sees someone flirting with you, her first thought is that they might be making you uncomfortable.
- If she sees you’re actually uncomfortable, she’ll personally step in to ensure the other person leaves.
- If she doesn’t see you uncomfortable, she’ll observe you for a few minutes, becoming distracted and absent from her own conversations, lost in analyzing what she’s seeing. -However, she dislikes waiting to address issues, so expect her to ask if something is wrong between the two of you as soon as you’re home.
- Caitlyn’s issue is that her thoughts ferment. If she doesn’t address the matter immediately, each day will make her mood worse, leading to unnecessary tension.
- She might not shake off that strange feeling immediately and could remain distant until the next day, but it’s not punitive. Her emotions catch her off guard and make her colder unintentionally.
- She’ll make up for it completely the following day.
- She’ll also ensure she gets matching rings for both of you, so they can serve as a signal to others.
Mel:
- For Mel, jealousy is just bitterness.
- She doesn’t show it. Her training in always appearing reliable and cordial means she’s adept at masking her feelings. So, when she sees someone flirting with you at a gala, her gaze lingers for just a few moments before she returns to smiling at her conversation partner.
- A little passive-aggressive, with comments like “I saw you had fun” or “So, tell me about…”��but not meant to provoke you.
- She’s the first to acknowledge that at meetings and galas, one must be adaptable, charming, smiley, and captivating. She knows that flirting is often part of the façade or just a small piece of a larger strategy, so what may sound like provocation is usually her way of asking what was on your mind.
- Her bitter jealousy becomes stronger and more genuine when there’s no strategy, no deeper game, but the person continues attending events and spends all their time trying to flirt with you. In these cases, she won’t hesitate to interrupt with a firm, “Excuse us,” and lead you to the balcony.
- No scene, no lecture—just a curt and slightly sad, “I only ask that you don’t make a fool of me.”
- When reassured that there was never even the intention of doing so, she becomes almost an accomplice. Have fun (within limits), gather amusing or trivial information, and tell her all about it later when you’re alone under the sheets.
Sevika:
- Sorry to disappoint, but she’s the least jealous character here.
- Her most stable relationships have all been at the brothel. If someone flirts with you, she’ll wait until the person leaves to comment on how slimy they were or how you seem to attract everyone without exception.
- Zaun is precarious; her job is precarious; even staying alive is extremely precarious. She doesn’t have time for jealousy. To her, it wouldn’t make sense to get angry or even cause a scene just because someone flirts with you when she can’t be around much or offer you stability herself.
- She knows perfectly well that her mechanical arm, her boss, her boss’s daughter, the drug use, and the dangerous work she does make her someone it’s hard to stay close to. But this doesn’t make her insecure—rather, it makes her grateful.
- It’s your choice to stay by her side, and if you ever want to leave, she believes you should feel free to do so without fearing any outburst from her.
- When you reassure her that you’d never betray, replace, or leave her, she pulls you close with one arm, kisses your forehead, and gives the faintest smile.
- That said, if someone flirts too much and you complain about their persistence, Sevika will handle it diplomatically—by picking them up and slamming them against the wall in front of you, making sure the point sinks in effectively.
#jayce x reader#viktor x reader#ekko x reader#silco x reader#vander x reader#jinx x reader#vi x reader#caitlyn x reader#sevika x reader#mel x reader#jayce talis#viktor arcane#ekko arcane#silco arcane#arcane vander#jinx#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#mel medarda#sevika#arcane x reader#arcane headcanon#arcane 2#arcane writing#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#mel arcane#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#arcane silco
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