#everyone has a sad story

[e32c-af6f]

A friend has recently ceased all contact with me. I am not angry about this. They felt I was a net-negative and cut me off like a gangrenous toe -- an approach I, myself, would employ. They did so without malice (no name-calling or similar pettiness) or hesitation. It was a single blow from a sharp blade that severed all connection for the sake of the wielder's well-being. That is fine. I feel stupid, but not upset or wronged.

The bit I am struggling with is that the feelings stirred up by this situation have prompted me to recall and dwell on other feelings originating from other situations. It is those recollections -- reminders of past occurrences -- that are making me sad.

An example is my immediate response to this lovely post.

In Minecraft, I am a "chop down a bunch of trees to make ladders and then use them while digging downwards in a 2x1 pattern to establish your mine" type of player. My (now former) buddy, on the other hand, has always built their shit as pictured above. Just endless shitty stairs. I encountered this terrible burrowing numerous times on the private server they hosted for us.

So, I see this post and I think, "Ha! I need to show this to -- oh, wait. No, never mind."

Which should be a fleeting, "Ah, bummer," kind of thing since, immediately after, I probably see a cat video and then someone pissed off about the English monarchy and then dudes throwing something at... something? What is that? Oh, no further info. Okay. Am I still in the "For You" section? Etc.

BUT I keep thinking about how long it took me to get out of that habit after my brother died -- reading things or watching things and then wanting to tell him about it. Making a mental note to bring it up the next time I saw him and then having to suddenly remember that I can't do that.

[bixels]

I'm not getting into The Giving Tree discourse...

[cyarskaren52]

[thirddoctor]

For so long, I only felt what she wanted me to. Now I have to do it for myself, and I feel like I'm drowning.

[dollypopup]

I think it's interesting to look at the 'Mr. Bridgerton' scene as a backdrop for the eventual mirror scene. Firstly, in the fact that I think we've kind of misinterpreted it.

So many people are of the mind that scene's purpose to 'drag' Colin, but really, that scene has 3 primary functions. The first is to inform Colin that Penelope is aware of what he said of her, thus opening the door to clearing the air between them and providing an avenue for which Colin can apologize. The second is to establish the ground that they are currently on: Penelope has given up on the dream of Colin Bridgerton, in particular the perfect prince that can do no wrong, and has made it clear to him. It also creates distance between them that they will bridge.

But the third, and to me the most wrapped up in the mirror and the inner workings of their relationship is that it reveals how Penelope feels about *herself*. It's not necessarily an echo of what the ton considers her as, after all, we have a lot of evidence indicating that, for all intents and purpose, people aren't *unkind* about her, but rather that they ignore her. Audience members recognize this as Penelope's own shyness being the cause, she is often sitting off on the sidelines or not really talking to much of anyone, in the books she's referred to as the 'one who doesn't speak', and her LW business takes her away from being a character in the action of the ton to a bystander, kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts that perpetuates itself. Pen felt unseen so she became LW to have some power, but then LW herself must remain unseen and Penelope continues to be by design of her own making.

No, I think what it really reveals is that Penelope has incredibly low personal self esteem. We as a fandom has lauded that scene as her dragging Colin, saying that he's cruel and calling him Mr. Bridgerton is absolutely meant to create distance between them, but I don't think she's dragging him.

Because the person she is *actually* dragging here. . .is herself. And it is a general theme in her life. In Whistledown. Aloud. Even with Marina, when she complimented her, she assumes that she's lying. When Edwina says she's wearing a pretty dress, Penelope puts herself down and doesn't believe her, even when the compliment is genuine. In truth, Portia is not seen as being particularly unkind to Penelope. At least, speaking as someone who's mum was *awful* about my size and weight and outfits, Portia is. . .overall rather mild. She's not KIND and loving, not by a long shot, but she's also not targeting Penelope only. She's plenty mean and critical to Prudence, too, even to the point where she foists her off to her own cousin as a pawn piece. Penelope has low self esteem because of a lot of reasons, she's bullied by Cressida (I think a lot of girls are, she was pretty mean even to Daphne in S1) and her family isn't very tender to her, and she's not being pursued at every turn, but part of it is also her own perpetuation.

Listen to what she says "Of course you would never court me" "I embarrass you" "I am the laughingstock of the the ton". She sees *herself* as an embarrassment. She puts *herself* down. Arguably, more so than the ton does. She's meaner to herself than anyone else is, aside from Cressida. And honestly? Looking at Colin's face there. . .he is HURT that she considers herself this way. That she's projecting that onto him. Yes, he's hurt that he hurt her, of course he is, he never wants to hurt her. And yes, he's ashamed that he said he wouldn't court her the way he did and that in doing so, he validated her fears that she is unloved and unwanted, but also because. . .she already feels that way about herself. She's felt that way for years. And it's painful to care about someone, to see them as wonderful, and realize. . .they don't feel the same about themselves at all. I don't think Colin is out here feeling so wounded over the fact that she called him cruel and won't refer to him by first name anymore, but that he's most hurt by what she says about herself.

Because he *doesn't* see her the way she accuses. She says she never expected him of all people to be so cruel, but he feels the same way. He never expected her to be so cruel to *herself*. He wants to go somewhere private, not because she is an embarrassment, but because he wants to have a private conversation with her. Maybe assure her. Maybe explain himself. Maybe hash it out. But god Luke Newton's acting. . .he is *aching* for her. And it feels like he's going to do those lessons not in atonement for what he said (thank god) but to genuinely help his friend who thinks badly of herself. To lift her up. It's not about him at all, not about earning forgiveness, but about elevating Penelope. And that's. . .fuck, I just find that's just so heart stoppingly beautiful.

You can see, in that scene, how much he cares about her. How deeply and genuinely he adores her as a person. And just how painful it is for him to know he has validated, whether on purpose or otherwise, how poorly she feels about herself. How low her self-confidence really is. She is giving him a glimpse into the cracks of her heart, and when he sees them, he wants to reach out with both hands and make it feel better. Make her feel better.

After she says 'even when I change my entire wardrobe', he looks so fucking crushed. So 'don't say that'. So 'you really believe that?'. So 'God, I hate that you think that way'.

Because regardless of it all, he does love her. It's not romantic yet. It's not sexual yet. But he genuinely, truly, from the bottom of his heart, thinks she's wonderful. That was evident even in the 'purpose' scene. Every time Penelope opens up and reveals a facet of herself, he likes it. He likes her barbs and her dreams, he likes talking to her. He likes her. And he feels awful that he hurt her. And he feels awful that she's hurting herself. He loves her. He wants her to love herself.

And that's where the mirror scene comes in. Because the mirror scene isn't about sex, not really. Not entirely, at least. The mirror scene is about *intimacy*. The mirror scene is about being seen. Not just her seeing him, or him seeing her, but for Penelope to see *herself*. In a way, through his eyes. Because hers are biased rather negatively toward herself, which is evidenced in the 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene, and in so many little moments we've already gotten where she's literally looking down on herself, feeling down. She doesn't necessarily *like* what's in the mirror, but he does. Because he likes *her*. And he wants to show her that he does. Show her that he finds her beautiful and have her recognize that in herself.

The 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene is about Penelope revealing how she sees herself. The mirror scene is about Colin showing her how *he* sees her. The Goodnight scene is about Penelope thinking she means nothing to him, that he thinks of her the way she thinks of herself, that this is how everyone thinks of her, and the mirror scene is a direct response to that: No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't think she's embarrassing. No, he doesn't think she's a laughingstock. No, he doesn't think she's unappealing. And he doesn't think she should, either.

And he's going to show her that. Not just tell her, but show her. The mirror scene is so often a focus on Penelope, so much of Polin is in Penelope's focus, but approaching it from Colin's perspective and his motivations is so fulfilling, too. It's a glimpse into them in conversation, and a demonstrate of how Colin loves her. How Colin loves in general, openly and earnestly and altruistically. How he encourages her to be braver and more confident in herself, bolstering her because he just likes her *that much*. How he finds the most fulfillment and satisfaction in caring aloud. The mirror scene is a demonstration of his heart in reflection.

When Luke Newton said the first word that came to mind with the word 'Mirror' was 'Exposed', he doesn't just mean physically. He means emotionally, too.

God this couple is so fucking good.

[gai-sucks-titties-in-my-basement]

Gai has plummeted from the sky exactly twice in canon, one was his fall after releasing the 8th gate. A serene acceptance of his own end. And the second was off the Tobisachimaru, where Kakashi caught him and they fell hand in hand. Kakashis Story (the book) opens up to Gai I think at his most honest, he is childish and selfish and desperate. He threatens Lee into getting him on a flying boat for absolutely no reason, other than to feel the importance of being one of the first Shinobi to be on it. He is striving for a significance the universe stole from him by allowing him to leave past his prime, his moment with Madara where he was no longer human; but God. Kakashi has spent the entire novel not scrutinizing, but pitying Gai for a lack of understanding of what they have left. But Kakashi, who has lived in the past for nearly his whole life, is met with a woman who lives in that same war; who’s leaking grief out onto Kakashi the entire novel. In a moment of her exposition, her; the embodiment of past, weeping before Kakashi, Gai is falling off the boat. A descent into oblivion; an oblivion he wants but was denied. And Kakashi cannot care about the war or the woman or the past, all he does is jump after Gai. And hold his hand. It is by outside, coincidental forces (Sai, on a bird.) that either survive. Kakashi refused Gai to descend into oblivion alone.

This novel is also the first instance of Kakashi being relevant with both of his eyes. I like to think it’s them falling together that Gai really understands that this is the first time he’s looked into Kakashi’s eyes since adolescence.

[cyarskj1899]

Mind you people say Kanye is acting out to this very day cause he lost his mom years and years ago. Megan hasn’t even gotten a fraction of that grace!

everyone cares about mental health when it comes to Kanye and excuses his antics. You can find articles about his guilt surrounding her death in 2023!!!

but Meg must take full personal responsibility regardless. Megan lost her mom even younger than he did. We don’t see black women as human.

[frobby]

Nothing is stronger than the bond between a girl and a piece of media they brushed off 10 years ago that they now realized is the greatest thing ever made

[magnificent-winged-beast]

[tsireyast]

I feel like we dont talk about one of the main reasons nico was ostracized at camp, not just because hes a son of hades.

Camp half blood is small enough so that rumors and information spread fast, but that doesn't mean they are always right. So imagine you're a random camper, and you're told nico, one of the new campers, gets in a big fight with Percy. During which he makes skeletons appear and somehow opens a huge crack in the floor. But percy wins and nico leaves camp.

Don't you think it would've rang a bell?

Don't you think it would've reminded them too much of two summers ago, with luke?

Dont you think everyone would've been even more scared, because now they know nico is a child of hades, one of the big three, and therefore very powerful?

There must have been so many rumors that summer of nico being part of the kronos army. Betraying camp just like luke did.

Of course after the battle of manhattan many people would've changed their minds. Hes in their side now, after all. But there are probably still many campers who think nico left them to join luke, before he changed their mind and helped them win against luke and kronos. People who still hold a grudge against him for joining the "enemy".

[unlimitedgolden]

hey no offense but did we play the same DLC??? did we watch the same video???

Abuse??? the old couple being greedy??? pecharunts friends???? not to be autistic as hell but literally none of that happened??

the old couple loved pecharunt like their own son because they straight up didnt have any kids

pecharunt being like. a runt. a child. thought "wow this is great lemme get more of this" because it's literally a child with crazy powers who definitely doesn't understand the consequences of its actions yet, poor thing

the old couple didnt tell it to do ANY of that until the mochi and i quote "draw out the greed of anyone who ate them". thats literally what it does.

"they were just like that on the inside" no i dont think so, who DOESNT have greed within them? you are not free from greed. you literally see in the beginning how much they truly loved this lil guy

and you then literally see pecharunt doesnt "make friends" it obtained allies to use through the poison, it LITERALLY says that.

Theres a big BIG emphasis on the chains that are on all three of them !! it's the chains that come OUT of pecharunt!! it's ability isn't "Poison Puppeteer" for no reason. It's signature move isn't MALIGNANT chain for no reason either!!

I mean. Let's look at the other facts about the Loyal three such as the Scarlet Dex entries:

"After all its muscles were stimulated by the toxic chain around its neck, Okidogi transformed and gained a powerful physique."

"The chain is made from toxins that enhance capabilities. It stimulated Munkidori's brain and caused the Pokémon's psychic powers to bloom."

"Fezandipiti owes its beautiful looks and lovely voice to the toxic stimulants emanating from the chain wrapped around its body."

In the in game lore it tells you that they didn't always look like this, and the chains changed them AND, you guessed it, brought out their inner desires. Their greedy desires. So do you see how the old couple literally were never greedy, they didn't demand this as they were under pecharunts influence? there was no abuse??? and they did NOT get its friends killed either!! They didn't even know!!

Look how at the end of the DLC everyone is no longer under the effects and they have no idea how they got there. They only remember the moments before the mochi. So the real kicker isn't "oh how tragic pecharunt was in an abusive family and its friends were killed cus of their greed", oh no the kicker is:

Pecharunt was nothing but a child with an evil power that it clearly didn't know how to use, or didn't even intend for it to be used for such evil. It did what it thought was right, for the love of the only two people that it had known, only for it to lead to it's own downfall and the downfall of three other Pokemon who succumbed to the poison. Furthermore, Pecharunt never came home. Those old couple woke up not having a clue where Pecharunt, the pokemon they loved as a son, had gone off to and they died not knowing (this is an ancient tale after all). Hell, Pecharunt probably doesn't even know they're dead either. Nobody wins.

[galaxyspark-6e16]

"trollifies your yuri"

my new hyperfixation in a crossover with my current hyperfixation, it can't get out of control.

[tarisilmarwen]

"Thrawn only joined the Empire to help the Chiss!"

Okay sure but have any of you bothered to self-examine why Thrawn chose to join the Empire instead of, say, the Republic, when that was still around? Or why he didn't chose to throw in with the Rebellion, put his tactical mind to use helping them overthrow the Empire quicker?

Could it be... perhaps... that maybe he values the Empire's military strength... more than he cares about the authoritarian tyranny with which it oppresses its own people?

Is it possible that he thinks the Empire's main problem is that it isn't effective enough, too much politicking getting in the way of sound strategy, but if he's around (and in charge) he can guide things so that those annoying little wrinkles (AKA the pockets of discontent and rebellion and fully justified anger at their rights and freedoms being trampled on) are all smoothed out and the overall Imperial machine is better, more in control of its assets, a stronger more unified bulwark against the outergalactic threat of the Grysk or the Vong or whatever.

Is it perhaps just a bit self-centered of him to only care about the Empire's ability to service his own goals and desires and be apathetic (at best) to the way it makes people suffer daily under its inherent systems? The Twi'leks and Wookies being constantly kidnapped and sold into slavery? The careless industrialization of arboreal worlds? The socialization and absorption of all private industry, forcing everyone to work through and with the Empire if they want to work at all? The systematic persecution of anyone remotely Force Sensitive? Is it not the mark of some kind of soul rot to be aware of all of that and go, "Yeah, but I don't care, they have the bigger guns, which is what I need."?

Maybe... just maybe... Thrawn has some Machiavellian tendencies and opinions and maybe this just might... make him not entirely a good person?

And maybe y'all should think about that before you come back and whine about his portrayal as a villain, as if all he has to do is explain to people that he did everything for a good reason and he gets an automatic narrative pardon for all of the shit he did while Grand Admiral that still needs to be addressed and answered for.

[esperastra]

It’s been three weeks and I still have not sorted my feelings about Legends Con. So have this random, unorganized list of things that happened that I still remember (more under the cut):

Nick tried to flash (stood on a chair and pulled up his shirt) Tala and Maisie during their panel but no one noticed him in the back

On the other hand when Arthur showed up during Caity and Jes’ panel they immediately saw him and greeted him

Caity was asked what Sara’s safe word is at the Meet&Greet and her answer was “Chiquita Banana”

When asked who they would eat first on a deserted island, pretty much everyone immediately said “Dom”

Caity and Jes kept talking about doing a podcast and asking people for stuff to talk about. Jes suggested they should just do Stabcast but Caity said she doesn’t like True Crime (which fair, I don’t either lol)

Adam said Avalance’s kid is named Rose and that Gary would be a great babysitter but he definitely would lose her at some point

At the opening ceremony Caity was like “I think the last time I said I was getting married. And I did it. *shows her ring* And Jes had our baby!”

When talking about the hardest goodbyes, Caity being Caity forgot Dom left and wasn’t even in the final season. Her answer was Franz btw.

A kid asked Amy, Caity and Jes if they would rather jump in lava or drown in water if they had to die and Jes was like “How old are you? Where is your mother?!” lmao

Jes recited the condolence card from Meet The Legends to the best of her recollection and kept laughing

Arthur kept mentioning how weird it is that all these fans and the cast are in his hometown

I could listen to Maisie talk for hours, just wanted to throw that in here

Jes was talking about how beautiful the gold dress from 502 was and Caity replied with “Anything you wear is beautiful ��” before Amy chimed in that she is still looking for the video of Liv and Jes laughing at Matt falling off his chair that was mentioned earlier lol

When asked about a crack ship (Rishop = Rip/Bishop) Arthur went on to talk about how he loves fanfiction lol

When asked if Nick or Matt is the better kisser Tala said “Maisie”

Adam started singing I Will Always Love You (forgot why) and Maisie left him hanging by not joining in and just smiling/laughing

Poor Matt didn’t know about the Human Centipede but now he does

Jes came up with the pick up line “I can be your legend until tomorrow” and then was like “someone try this tonight at the bar!”

On the second day Adam brought a water pistol to the panel and used it on everyone who got up to ask a question

Adam was THE hype man all weekend. He kept starting “When I say DC you say Legends of Tomorrow” chants

The fandom organized a group gift to give each cast member a trophy of the Waverider. We were allowed to present it to them at the closing ceremony.

Nick was called “Brad Pitt” during the trophy ceremony and Adam being Adam stood up instead

Amy sang Future Favorite with one of the kids at the closing ceremony

Adam said something about how he doesn’t like being emotional in front of people and everyone started chanting “SHOW EMOTIONS”

By the end of the closing ceremony everyone was super emotional. Caity was too emotional to speak when it was her turn and started crying and Jes hugged her. She said “I miss you guys” to the cast and went back for another hug. Jes was like “stop the emotions. stop the emotions” in reference to the earlier chant

A small list of some of the things that happened to me personally. I won’t share it all in detail here though, for reasons:

When I got my solo photo op with Caity, she saw my Real Housewives Sara shirt and was like “That’s funny. Can I take a picture?” and then she posted it on her IG Story

Amy spoke German to me out of nowhere when she noticed my accent. She also called me back during our photo op to ask me how I was and if I slept alright.

Jes gave me this 🥺 look when I talked to her at the autograph table

Nick held my hand for like a minute which was super overwhelming especially cause I struggle with eye contact lol. He also kept lovingly teasing me the whole weekend.

Me and a bunch of people did the 709 costumes as cosplay and won ‘Best Group’. It was a lot of fun.

[verflares]

nothing more frustrating than playing New Video Game and/or digesting new media in general and you're like "mmmm this is kinda bad/boring. honestly." so out of curiosity you look up to see if anybody else feels this way but you are instead greeted with if you think anything about this is bad or boring you need to be put in front of a firing squad

[cyarskj1899]