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ghostinthegallery · 1 year

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Yup, finally time to talk about Trazyn...

I put it off because hey, everyone else deserves some love and attention...but Trazyn deserves more, sorry he is just built different.

It will probably shock no one that Trazyn is my favorite 40k character. He's what got me into Warhammer in the first place. I imagine I'm not the only one who went through the "oh, funny meme steal guy lol" to "guess I'll read Infinite and the Divine" to "can't be invited to parties because I refuse to think about anything that's not Necrons or my new plastic crack addiction" pipeline.

But why is this weird sexy space kleptomaniac so compelling? The answer might surprise you!

(it won't for a while but bear with me there's a twist coming)

Why do we all like Trazyn? First of all, he's easy to grasp. Indiana Jones meets the Collector in 40k. One sentence and you know what he's about. That's invaluable for pitching a character. And then you watch him and he's clever, he's hyper-competent, he's funny. In the grimdark future, this guy makes you laugh! He screws with everyone. And yeah, he's easy to meme, but that's just part of his charm.

He fits into nearly any 40k story too. Space Marines? Aeldar? Chaos? Tau? Trazyn wants an artifact and he's messing with *insert main characters here* to get it. Or maybe *insert main characters here* need something and he's the only one who has it. Doesn't really matter what or why, the second Trazyn shows up he can play off anyone. As an uneasy ally, an opponent in a negotiation, or in a fight. He has an incredible dry wit that makes him super entertaining (especially in a setting where characters can be a bit...serious).

And Trazyn ultimately has pretty sympathetic motives. He wants to preserve, to collect, and tell stories through his museum. Museums are cool! Culture is neat! Sure he's a bit...unethical, but he's far from the worst dude in 40k so he's very easy to root for, even if he's a side character or antagonist.

So yeah, witty, devious, immortal museum curator. Perfect character, right?

Well...here's that twist.

Trazyn is actually (in my opinion) really, really hard to write for as a protagonist of his own story.

See most commercial fiction is structured around a character who wants something, but something else gets in their way. Frodo wants to take the ring to Mordor but all of middle earth plus some evil wizards, orcs, giant spiders, etc. are in the way. The issue with Trazyn (on paper) is that he doesn't truly want anything. Sure there are specific artifacts and people he wants for his collection, but that's surface level. Hunting down random cool space stuff is not a change from his day to day, so focusing a whole story around that might be fun for a while, but it wouldn't stick with you. Because any deep, emotional desires he has are fulfilled. He has power, he has purpose, he has his own planet that shapes itself to his will.

Trazyn is used to being in control. Of Solemnace, of his expeditions, of his negotiations. If plan A goes south he has twelve other options, and a few back up plans, and probably an ork warband attached to his belt if he needs it. Oh, and he's immortal. And can't be hurt. Which again, is hella fun, but how do you have suspense or stakes with all of that? How do you write an interesting story for the guy that has everything?

Enter Orikan.

Orikan is one of the only things that introduces chaos into Trazyn's existence. Orikan can break into Trazyn's house, break his stuff, and get away with it. When Orikan is around, the things Trazyn loves are in danger. Orikan shattered relics from their people's history and Trazyn failed to save them. He tried to catch one piece and it shattered because his hand was metal. The thing that usually makes him untouchable contributed to his loss. That is heartbreaking to read. Sure he can fight elves and dinosaurs and steal the most incredible things, but Trazyn can be made vulnerable in the right circumstances.

The thing he wants throughout Infinite and the Divine is not the McGuffin Mysterios. It's revenge. But because Orikan is his equal and opposite, he can't get it easily. There's an obstacle. Which means we have a story on our hands.

There's another scene that I find really striking from that book: Trazyn and his human assistant on Serenade. This old man who Trazyn kinda...mind controlled into service, but also provided him and his family with the best education, medical care, career opportunities etc. Trazyn didn't have to do that, but he is the type of greedy where if something is "his" he takes care of it. That includes (for better or worse) that human man and his family. Blips on the radar to an immortal being, but those are Trazyn's blips so they get the best a blip can ask for (aside from free will but shhhhhh.)

But that doesn't mean Trazyn can prevent the inevitable. His assistant gets old without him even noticing. The man has reached the end of his life, and that is something Trazyn can't control. And he's emotional about it. Not like devastated (it's just a human after all, basically his hamster just died) but it throws him for a loop.

Oh hey, speaking of how Trazyn takes care of things that he considers his...

Trazyn never really gets close to killing Orikan. He says he wants to. He acts like it. That's the story we set up. Trazyn shoots him in the face. But does he try to permanently kill Orikan? Does he ever act with any true cruelty?

He does once. When Orikan was weak and vulnerable, Trazyn crushed Orikan's skull with his foot, and that's so out of character it's our clearest indication as a reader that something is wrong. That's when we realize the song has Trazyn ensnared because normally he would not do that. He wouldn't treat his greatest enemy and rival that way which is... certainly interesting.

And then of course there's that scene at the end. When Orikan is burned and afraid and unable to defend himself, Trazyn doesn't even try to hurt him. He is gentle, careful, he makes sure Orikan isn't permanently damaged. After everything they've done to each other over 10,000 years (and that's just the events of the book, their rivalry is older), it doesn't even occur to Trazyn to harm Orikan in that moment.

That to me is the real secret that makes Trazyn more than a meme character. That greed that makes him care for things, cultures, places, and people. Those moments where he isn't in control. The combination of the two that means something is at stake. He has a deep love for the universe despite this being such a nihilistic setting. That love drives him to do ridiculous things, but that's the core (I think) of why we love watching him cavort around the galaxy so much.

#trazyn the infinite #ghost does character rambles #necrons #orikan the diviner #this got so long guys #cant stop wont stop

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voidfishing · 2 years

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I already talked about this in an ask a few days ago but. I genuinely cannot stop thinking about Mavis and Mookie interacting with the rest of the IPRE/bureau so here is a headcanon collection

- Magnus, Carey, and Lup are so entertained by Mookie’s constant state of excitement. this kid is so fucking funny to them. Magnus and Carey play the most intense rough-and-tumble games with him every single time they see him. Lup gets to be the Cool Aunt by showing him pyrotechnics and telling him scary stories!! she brags that she’s his favorite even though he claims that they’re all his favorite

- both Mavis and Mookie adore Barry. he is the coolest uncle ever just by virtue of being Barry Bluejeans. he gets them little gifts and tells fun stories and does a hilarious impression of Merle. half of their visits end up with Mookie falling asleep to one of Barry’s stories

- Taako thinks Mookie is the scariest little child on the planet. he bakes an excessive amount of sweets to try to keep him preoccupied whenever he visits his house. his philosophy is that if Mookie is distracted by his food he will run around less and there will be a lower risk of him breaking anything

- despite Taako having no idea what to do with Mookie, Mookie just adores him. he thinks he’s so funny!! while mostly everyone else tries to filter their language at least a bit around the kids, Taako almost never does, and cursing in front of Mookie is a sure-fire way to entertain him (Taako uses this as leverage, promising to teach Mookie a new swear if he doesn’t break anything in his house)

- Mavis asks Killian to help her train every so often, and the two end up becoming really close really quickly as Killian sees just how competent an adventurer Mavis is at such a young age. it’s pretty common for Carey and Lup, and occasionally Lucretia, to join them just to spar or give pointers or offer Mavis a bit more education about magic and her potential adventuring paths. basically Mavis has the coolest aunts in the whole world and they all love her and want to help her find her path

- Mavis loves loves loves spending time with Lucretia. she is fascinated with the stories she tells even though she’s already heard them. she wants to know every little detail about anything arcane and she trusts Lucretia to teach her

- Magnus really wants to get them a dog, and has tried numerous times to go behind Merle’s back to do so. he eventually succeeds and both Mavis and Mookie end up with dogs of their own <3 Merle has to forgive Magnus because the kids are So Thrilled and the dogs are very good adventuring companions

- Mavis really enjoys spending time with Kravitz. he’s a little worried at first that the kids will be nervous about the whole Grim Reaper thing but Mavis is fascinated with his job (and Mookie just thinks it’s cool). and, to be fair, he’s one of three undead entities in their life so it’s really not a big deal. Mavis expresses a lot of interest in his work and life and Kravitz has a surplus of stories to tell!!

- Angus and Mavis become really good friends pretty quickly! Angus doesn’t interact with other kids much (given that he goes to Lucas’ school which. is definitely not geared towards 12 year olds) so he’s always excited to get to hang out with Mavis and Mookie!! Mavis tells Angus all about her adventures and he tells her all the amazing things he’s learned at school!! they swear that they’re going to adventure together someday

#‘I’ll write a few headcanons and then go to bed’ <- me an hour ago lying to myself #text #taz #taz balance #toon talking #headcanons

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cerealmonster15 · 3 years

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fhdsfkjsdkgjfkdljgv. jfksdlfjklsjel. dont look at me im going to huddle under the readmore to babble about obey me mcs lol ummmm 🏃‍♀️

okay so. so obey me right. fdskjlfjkl whenever im playing, i get like, three general Vibes for the type of answers you more or less are given to choose from and. and so i have had vague ideas of characters based off if you like, leaned real far into a specific answering pattern [i made ocs and i dont know how to phrase it like a regular person WHAT EVER ANYWAY]

they dont have names so rn they are simply. letters lol, and also just rough concepts i was havin fun with who knows if ill change em or even ever draw them again lol but ANY WAY!!!

A - when u play the game and u try to be nice to everyone, you date everyone, you love everyone!!!! theyre a soft pal, shaped like a friend and what have you, also kinda combined with the more stressy panicky vibes of “oh god.i just want everyone to get along. i love u all dearly. plz behave tho. also lets hold hands” lovable!! woo!!!! A probably gets along with the exchanged students the best, and then other “teddy bear” types like diavolo and beel. overall loves everyone tho, there are no true “favorites” in A’s eyes. thinks levi’s henry fish is adorable.

B. i just think it’s so fucking funny that like, hypothetically, you could be playing this game, this otome dating game where u date characters, and just fuckin turn down every advance that comes your way the entire time and theyll still fall in love with u LOL. B is the mc that’s down there like 😒 send me home. what am i doing after school? i have 2 study. leave me be. stop causing problems or else 🔪 master of curving advances, married to the friend zone? who knows, maybe theres some secret fondness under there for some people, but they dont let it show. real sick of getting dragged into everyones petty drama and not a fan of all the excessive attention. thought the side characters were cooler before they also started competing for their attention l o l. probably eggs on the others when theyre bullying each other bc “everyone ive met here is kind of a bastard and could use some humbling ♥” B’s tolerance for company wavers on the daily, honestly everyone mostly stresses them out. maybe gets along with barbatos the most, because hes the most reserved, but watch your step, pal. they also like to enable luke’s desire to take down lucifer when lucifer’s getting on their nerves. does not like cerebrus.

C. u know that dancing little guys sticker in the chat feature? that’s C’s general vibe. the ??? MC, the one that’s kind of an airhead sometimes, and a bit impulsive. will often go for the funniest course of action, likes to keep things interesting and entertaining, doesnt matter if it’s efficient or makes sense. a real JOKESTER that likes to keep people on their toes. may or may not be romantically interested in someone, no one can really tell bc of their wildly mixed signals. C’s definitely vibing with asmo and mammon’s wild boy energies, and makes guest appearances with the anti lucifer league when they’re scheming something exciting. Definitely enables Solomon’s weird experiments and will not stop him when he’s entering a kitchen; probably sits by and watches the process from start to finish like a little scientist observing the wizard in his natural habitat. definitely an enabler of Diavolo’s wack event ideas lol.also: lotan’s biggest fan. absolutely HYPED when levi summons lotan because it’s always an absolute disaster after, and also lotan is cool

#okay. im. jdkslfjlsd i just like the little sheep people #cereal tries to draw #obey me oc #i probs shoulda drawn them in the uniform or w/e but i forgot it existed and also i dont want to #anyway. dkjslfjsej #me: theyre sheep gijinka [literally just draws people with horns and funny little ears]#leave me alone ksldjjjkfjfjk ok ok ok ok #i got it out of my system now #for now. for now. for now. jfkldsjfjejkejklj help #is it dumb and also cliche. yes probably. however. thats just too bad.#i didnt give their appearances thaaaat much thought so i mean #subject to change if i ever do anything like it again #just kinda like. first things that came to mind to see wht it looked like #maybe one day they will get names #or maybe this will be the only time i ever speak of them #they live in my brain and now they have been. PERSONIFIED. or whatever #OK BYE FJKSLDJEKLJFLEJSKFLJSD #obm liveblogging #i guess jklfjsd

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dragonrajafanfiction · 3 years

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Caesar and the MC should be Best Friends - Hear me out

This sounds really strange at first to hear. But the game did a terrible job of summarizing the story and showing the characters. The MC should be Best Friends with Caesar, check out why, below the cut.

Act One: The Premise (The MC will be referred to as Female because my character is female and I’m too lazy)

The MC has been trained to fight and use her abilities since she was a child. She’s been competing against others for the privilege of being the best as well. By the time she’s arrived at Cassell, she’s seen horrors that not even the Cassell Trio can boast of seeing.

Caesar in the meantime is planning his wedding. But Nono is AWOL. He’s getting no feedback from her and it leaves him just shooting in the dark for what ‘sounds cool’ For all of Caesar’s big talk, he realizes that he’s not really reaching Nono’s heart and he’s feeling a bit lost.

In the game: You save Nono in the game.

Why you would grow closer to Caesar: This is not easily reconcilable with the novel’s opening scenes, so if we stretch and pretend you arrive before Nono goes on her Walkabout, that would make one HECK of an impression on Caesar. He would have seen immediately that you are a step far above Luminous. Being a self-described ‘maniac’ he would not have been shy about approaching you and telling you you’re 10x what Luminous is.

Caesar is mischaracterized in the game to a great extent. While his misogynstic leanings and need to be ‘tHe LeADer’ is played up probably for laughs, he’s not that over the top. Here’s how he’s portrayed in the Novel.

Anjou put the two of them (Caesar and Chu Zihang) together and actually wanted them to sincerely cooperate? The move was similar to keeping lions and tigers in a cage, with Lu Mingfei stuffed between them like an innocent red panda. But Caesar decided to do his best, because this time he is the team leader. The success or failure of the task related to his honor, and for honor, he can bear anything. Along the way, he repeatedly warned himself to be generous, to have a leadership style, to be a corporal... Take Chu Zihang as a corporal to "victory", Caesar's heart is much more comfortable. This time he is immersed in the pink mood of preparing for the wedding, and he is feeling very charitable, even to Chu Zihang this serial killer looks more appealing.

There’s no way Caesar would ignore you as the MC. You would be of utmost interest to him. Far more interesting than Chu Zihang and Luminous. He takes responsibility for you as part of the team, he owes you one for Nono, and wants to see you succeed, probably more than anyone else there.

Act 2: Your arrival in Japan

The game skips the whole opening sequence introducing you to Chisei and Sakura. In the novel, those fancy Kimonos were given to you by Anjou and yes they all come with umbrellas. The whole scene is supposed to be funny. Chisei is mistaken for a tour guide, Lu Mingfei compliments Chisei’s Chinese in his own broken Japanese and fantasizes about cute maid cafes, Chu Zihang freaks Chisei out with his golden eyes by accident. So I imagine the MC stumbling and falling trying to walk in Geta.

But things get serious when the police show up and you realize that you’ve entered the country illegally and are now about to get arrested. The MC might voice that this make sense “Because I don’t have a passport or any identity. There was no way I’d ever get into the country.”

After Chisei loses the police, you’re taken to your rooms to stay for the night.

I wrote a little piece about this ‘here’

Why the MC and Caesar would grow closer: At the end of this scene, Caesar is completely isolated, drinking in his room and texting a silent Nono. This scene would change with you as the MC there. This would turn into an opportunity for you to bond. Perhaps you would notice him texting, talking about his love of Nono. You could touch on your past with him for the first time, or not, depending. He’d probably say something enthusiastically fiery and confidence building. He wants you to trust him and trust in yourself. For all his flaws, Caesar is very LIKEABLE and easy to understand. You don’t get into positions of power like his without some level of Charisma.

Act 3: The Mission Details

In the Game: This whole scene goes missing.

In the Novel: You take a whirlwind tour of Genji Heavy Industries. It’s an engineering marvel that is practically embedded in the central infrastructure of Tokyo (The building is seriously impossible and amazing but that’s for a nother post.).

You sit down with Masamune for tea. Immediately, something jumps out at Caesar.

“Are you Japanese?” Caesar gave Masamune Tachibana an examining look..

"I'm only half Japanese and the other half Russian." Tachibana said.

Caesar frowned, which made him think of the soviet icebreaker Lenin involuntarily.

"I've been in Japan for many years, and a lot of people don't see that I'm half Russian, Mr. Gattuso.” Tachibana said, inquiringly.

"Accents, your accents have Slavic characteristics, and you'll distinguish between hard and soft consonants, which are typical Russian pronunciations." Caesar said, "You're not just Of Russian Descent, You've Lived In Russia."

This is Lu Mingfei and Chu Zihang have no say in the matter since their two mother tongues are Chinese. But Caesar was aware when he heard the first words of Tachibana Masamune. He grew up as a different kind of man who could speak English, French and Spanish fluently in addition to Italian, and he could tell the language characteristics of every language spoken in Europe.

Even the wind demon villain Lang and yuan child in this seat are showing a surprised expression, it is clear that other owners do not know this matter.

Why this would bring you closer to Caesar: Not only would you pick up on the exact same thing, but he would speak with the same Russian accent as the MC. Languages are regional, Russia is a HUGE FREAKING COUNTRY. It would be no mistake that the Russian accent - Tachibana’s Russian accent - would match the MCs regional one. Depending on how much your MC would have told Caesar, Caesar would have picked up a whole lot. Why you were awakened now, why you were sent on this mission... but that’s not even all!!

Later on, Chisei shows up after Tachibana leaves. He’s given you more information on the Lenin and why its sinking seems suspicious. But then he says this.

"Yes, the Lenin passed through the nameless port of northern Siberia, took a precious dragon embryo, and the port was destroyed in a fire. No one knows where the embryo is going to be shipped, the final destination may be Japan, or it may just pass by, but apparently it failed to reach its destination and the dragon embryo fell into the depths of the trench. Embryos have been hatching slowly over the years, but we haven't been aware of them. ”

Now depending on how much your MC might tell Caesar at this point he may or may not notice more parallels between the story of the Lenin and your story. You’re a hybrid, from Siberia who survived not just a fire but a bombs and getting shot. Heck imagine being the MC listening to this and realizing that this mission is intimately connected with you. In the game this happens way late, but in the novel it’s right at the start!

Why this would bring you closer to Caesar: At this point none of this would have been shared between any of the others. This is something only Caesar and you would know, shared knowlege that would likely mentally bond you two as allies.

The next scene is just more obvious bonding time. They all discuss likes and dislikes, their personal goals, dreams, loves, and ideals. The MC would still have Caesars favor but Caesar would fall more and more for Chisei’s charms. He’s bored and wants to see some ‘real gangster’ stuff. So Chisei obliges and takes Caesar to an operation between two rival gangs fighting over turf.

This would be the first time you’ve seen Caesar actually get serious for once intimidating some gangsters in a comic store. But after that’s all over, he immediately gets interested in the comics. This is very important to note that Caesar is rarely serious about anything. And if he is it doesn’t last long. He tells a long story about wanting a PS2, staying up all night to play Star Ocean when the housekeeper smashed his console. So he purchased 200 consoles, gave the housekeeper an axe and every time he smashed a console he replaced it immediately and kept playing. Finally, they let him play video games 2hours a day after his riding lessons.

This is important. Caesar is pushy and insistent and confident because he HAS to be to be himself and defy his family. This is is something even Chu Zihang can respect and he makes up with Caesar after, realizing that Caesar’s way towards him wasn’t personal, good or bad, he’s always acting out towards his family.

With you, Lu Mingfei and Chu Zihang closer than ever, it’s time to actually go on the Mission. So lets recap: Caesar the Leader has pulled the team together, taken you off on entertainment, on adventures, and now just now, on the way to the mission. cooked for everyone while speedreading the the instruction manual for the Lenin.

Why would this bring the MC closer to Caesar? Uh, maybe because he seems pretty freakin’ competent? Almost effortlessly so? As Chu Zihang so succintly puts it: “Sometimes I admire Caesar. Whenever and wherever there are goals, he’s rarely afraid and never discouraged. In a group of people he will always be the one who inspires fighting spirit. People can choose how they live, Caesar is the kind of man who asks himself to live like a hero." The MC who has never felt so helpless in her life, could have easily been inspired by Caesar. That maybe she CAN get back to the Lenin, figure out who killed her friends and give him exactly what he deserves.

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antebunny · 3 years

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April 27: games

A sequel to archer and bridge, an identity porn extra of a modern cultivators Olympic sports AU.

Note: this is from the perspective of an NB OC named Elaine Chao who uses they/them pronouns. I did this because 1) the number of NB people I know has exponentially increased in the past year, and they all use they/them pronouns so I wanted to make myself familiar with using they/them pronouns to refer to a single person. I chose the name Elaine Chao because that’s the name of Mitch McConnell’s wife and I think I’m funny.

Elaine Chao is taking a class on cultivation, which is a new class offered at their university and also not very popular because cultivation is supposed to be a dead practice now just used as a sport. So it was expected to have like five students, max. The professor is an expert when it comes to the culture and history of xianxia, and now decided to also offer her skills and knowledge on cultivation, which she is also an expert on, despite having previously just taught the history/culture of that era. Then suddenly at the last minute, the class gets six new students. Initially, this isn’t the weird part. With an eleven person class, the students interact somewhat, but for a while all Elaine could tell you was their names.

Soon enough, their professor goes on a tirade about the international cultivation competition. She hates it because 1) it makes a mockery of the original purpose of cultivating, i.e. night hunts and defeating monsters oh and also war, and yet it still 2) puts the lives of the competitors in danger. Not in the way that sports usually do, in that there’s a risk for injury which can sometimes be permanent, but the competitors are all world-class athletes and generally don’t come to harm. But in an active, monsters-are-trying-to-kill-you sort of risk that has led to severe/permanent injuries recently, but no (recent) deaths. And the professor hates that the lives of these teenagers and young adults are so blatantly being put in danger for entertainment. She also hates how gamemasters pass their roles to their kids, who are usually competitors themselves, and so on. So the professor rants about the international tournament and these competitive cultivators and how much she dislikes it.

Then she mentions the last international competition, which everyone has heard of just because of how wrong it went.

The recent competitions have been rife with controversy anyway; there was that whole thing with gamemaster Wen Ruohan where he was favoring his sons and almost got the other competitors killed, and usually the other gamemasters would vote him out but Jiang Fengmian (and his wife) passed away from disease recently, and Jiang Cheng was his nominal replacement since it was assumed that Jiang Cheng would be too old for competition by the time Jiang Fengmian retired, and Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were skipping that year’s competition anyway because of jfm and yzy’s deaths, but then Jiang Cheng was dragged back to vote Wen Ruohan out. That all worked out in the end, because the Wens were just removed from the competition.

But last year’s competition was the final nail in the coffin. Basically, one of the gamemasters (Jin Guangshan) rigged the game for his own purposes. Since Jiang Cheng was still competing, Jin Guangyao was chosen as the new gamemaster. When only five contestants were left–the same five as the previous years–the monsters suddenly stopped dying and their time-out flares suddenly stopped working. This maybe would’ve worked except that Jin Zixuan was surreptitiously warned at the last moment that the game was rigged in his favor, and immediately told the others once he found them. Then they realized that they were stuck in the arena with monsters that wouldn’t die and no way to get out. They had a collective come-to-grace moment in which they realized “hey maybe putting our lives on the line like this isn’t healthy or normal just because it was what our parents did”. (Meanwhile, the other two grandmasters are panicking because their little brothers are out there jgs I’m going to wring your neck–) Then Wei Wuxian goes “actually I think I can control the monsters using ~demonic cultivation~” and the others go “it may be against the rules but we’ll back you up”. So that was last year’s competition. It was even more controversial because Wen Ning died as a consequence. His sister, Wen Qing, the best cultivating doctor in the world, who has treated all of the competitors in the past, literally hit the ceiling. She treated the five returning contestants and then promptly quit. That would be a problem because there’s no other doctors willing to treat all the cultivating contestants after a competition. But the bigger problem comes when Wei Wuxian, who should have gotten first place, gets banned from competitive cultivation for breaking the rules. They try to award first place to Lan Zhan, who promptly refuses and also vows to stop competitive cultivation because they banned Wei Wuxian. Then they try to award it to Jin Zixuan who refuses because he doesn’t ~deserve~ it and he’s wrecked with guilt that all the others went through this just because his dad wanted to make him win (and also wanted to kill the others). They go to Jiang Cheng who takes one look and goes “you’re kidding, right” and everyone knows that Jiang Cheng is suffering from an inferiority complex due to Wei Wuxian constantly upstaging him but Jiang Cheng is like “if you think I’m going to take a first place prize when I should’ve been fourth and you’re robbing not only the first three but also my brother by banning him from the game that almost killed all of us just because you think I have some stupid complex then you have another thing coming and also fuck you.”

So next year’s competition is canceled. Suddenly, these professional athletes have nothing to do. The five of them sit down and say “maybe we should learn more about our supposed profession” since the only reason they survived was because of Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation. Jiang Yanli brings up the university class, and the next thing they know, all six are enrolled in the class.

When Elaine overhears Wei Wuxian needle Jin Zixuan about something to which he responds “that was years ago!”, they can’t help but ask, “do you know each other?” And Wei Wuxian glances nervously at the professor and says “we’re…uh…family friends!” (That brick wall Lan Wangji is glaring at Wei Wuxian because he doesn’t like lying, but Elaine can’t tell because Lan Wangji is a brick wall. In more ways than one). Basically, while they didn’t have any intention of hiding, Wei Wuxian panics when he remembers how much the professor hates competitive cultivators, and everyone else gets sucked into his lies because of him.

And then it all comes spilling out: Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli are siblings, Nie Huaisang is high school friends with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian is dating Lan Wangji (and that much was already obvious from the very public pda), and Jin Zixuan is Jiang Yanli’s fiancé, and his family is friends with Jiang Yanli’s family, which is how he knows the siblings from earlier. It also comes out that all six of them aren’t regular students at the university, they’re just taking this class in particular. Their answers aren’t particularly enlightening, and Elaine doesn’t understand why they’re being so dodgy on the question. Well, if “dodgy” means Jiang Cheng snapping “none of your business” and Lan Wangji staring at you until you walk away nervously.

This is how Elaine gains perspective on their classmates. Jin Zixuan is an arrogant rich prick who can’t last a conversation without mentioning how much better he is than you. Jiang Cheng would be cool (and maybe even cute, Elaine notes) if he wasn’t perpetually angry, even with the people he supposedly got along with. He’s polite enough with strangers but any personal comments and he acts personally offended. Wei Wuxian is nice enough, but he’s also an annoying troublemaker who’s always late for class, and has the social skills of an agoraphobic lobster. He constantly inserts himself in conversations and gets on the professor’s nerves. Well, the professor appreciates the questions and knows that Wei Wuxian is actually interested and also really really smart, but. Nerves. Lan Zhan is handsome, and a model student, but that’s about all Elaine can say about him. He has the emotional capacity of an old shoe, and rarely offers more than one word answers, as if talking is beneath him. The only exception is Wei Wuxian, and that’s a whole other can of worms, because Elaine cannot for the life of them figure out how those two are dating each other. It’s clear they’re the most in-love couple to ever being in love, but that doesn’t answer the question why. And how. And what. Nie Huaisang is nice enough. He actually has some social tact and can hold a conversation, but he also has zero spine and isn’t interested in anything but art and procrastination. Elaine doesn’t understand why he’s even taking this class. He’s not in uni anyway, why is he here.

The only acceptable person is Jiang Yanli, and that’s because she’s a human person with actual feelings. She’s always nice, but knows that her siblings are not, and she has interests besides ??? and none. She actually goes to university and is majoring in political science, which is how Elaine learns that she is a debate champion, and already managing a business left to her by her recently deceased parents. Elaine brings up their parents once and then Jiang Cheng the aggressive angry grape starts yelling and Wei Wuxian turns downright vicious all cold and dark and Elaine never brings it up again. So Jiang Yanli is the only one that Elaine actually likes/considers a friend. The only thing is that Elaine cannot understand why she associates with the people that she does. Siblings are understandable, but why is she engaged to that rich brat Jin Zixuan? The terrifying thing is that Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian agree with Elaine and think Jiang Yanli could do better, and Elaine knows this because they’re so vocal about it. Like are they trying to ruin their sister’s engagement? Actually maybe they are.

So that’s Elaine’s university class experience.

#antebunny's april prompts #fic outline #spring fest 2021 #mdzs #not my art #obviously

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whatsyourcolor · 3 years

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Dragnet - Chapter 9 - Kingdom of Thieves.

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Thank you to those of you that are still reading Dragnet! In previous chapters Kogami and Akane conducted a mission that resulted in technology malfunctioning, suspicions arising and Akane almost getting killed. Kogami broke up their short-lived (or so he thinks) association for reasons and emotions still confusing to him. Here’s Chapter 9:

KINGDOM OF THIEVES

Pliable, suspiciously warm, the sofa's leather cushions in the analysis lab sank underneath Kogami's weight, comfort suffusing his tense limbs like an anxiolytic. Undoubtedly, Kunizuka had made a routine pitstop here prior to heading to the interrogation room with Ginoza for another round of fruitless grilling. Which would explain the mellow, secret melody Shion was humming as she typed away on her keyboard. At least someone in Division 1 was having fun. Banished from the interrogation room and having severed the only connection he had to that other world, lulls of silent anticipation such as this had become nearly intolerable for him because, like a stray dog, his mind would go—insistently, shamelessly—back to her.

If only his ruminations had been centered in the pragmatic aspects of their relationship (what was her exact link to the syndicates? When did it start? And why?), he could have forgiven himself more easily. But it was the way his name sprung from her direct mouth, and how it meant she was not cross with him (as opposed to Inspector), and that furrowed brow each time she sermonized about things not unlike those he’d spend hours perusing in books—things he had strictly forbidden himself to linger on; things he’d never dream to speak about out loud. It was her scrutiny, never sub rosa. Not when she looked at him with unabashed eyes, not searching for a weakness or a fault—he suspected—but for something like a virtue, something that would warrant their unlikely partnership in her eyes.

So what did it mean for him to be sitting here while she was still out there, meandering in the dark? Stubbornly continuing this, insisting on this, and she would lose more than her hue. Kogami palmed the cellphone inside his pocket and then thought better of it because—what right did he have to care? To ask anything from her? Who was he in her life but an accident of chance? Or, perhaps, had his threats managed to compel her, and had she gone back to an ordinary life where she didn’t want to change the world? No, he thought sullenly. Even I know that about you. But it’s not like you’re alone either, is it, Tsunemori? Not that it makes you any safer.

On a large screen, a corner-side vantage of the dark interrogation room. Light spilled from a lamp above onto a table as a cuffed man swaggered in like a circus bear that's figured out the master's whip is made of hay. A braggart's smirk splashed across his face as he flumped on a chair. Kogami perched his elbows on his legs, interlaced hands under his nose to summon all his objective focus on the screen, but all he could think about was how much he'd love to pummel that sneer off again.

"A different species of inspector today," proclaimed the Arumajiro man, all affected bravado to Gino's bespectacled, sober professionalism. Still bearing the marks Tsunemori had gouged on his tattooed skin, he slammed his arms on the table, presumably to stir a wince from Ginoza, who only blinked with imperturbable disdain. "And you even brought a woman to protect you. That a habit of Sibyl's dogs?"

"The type of technology found in the interior of the truck you and your comrades were riding on is not something that can be built with metal scraps scavenged from Ougishima,” Gino said with no inflection in his voice. "Who is funding your association?"

The man acknowledged the question with a caustic snort for answer, a sort of growl. His eyes slithering over the less illuminated corners of the room—methodically, as if searching for something.

“He’s watching, ain’t he?” he eventually muttered. “He wouldn’t miss this.”

"You'll have enough time to look at walls when you go to the isolation facility. No need to strain your eyes so hard on these,” Gino spat back. “Answer the question. Your syndicate knew about the crackdowns by the MWPSB. How did you acquire a signal jammer? Who programmed it?"

"Inspectors in the blocks," the man began in a low voice. "You lot stick out like a pack of wild hens running around with your dominators. Of course, everyone always knows when you're there, with your holos and your drones. You’re not exactly low-key, you know? The eyes of Sibyl might see us only when they want to, but we’re always watching.”

"And so your syndicate figured they'd try to go undetected and invest on an illegal piece of technology impossible to acquire within the abolition blocks.”

"Impossible,” the man echoed as if mulling the meaning of the word. As if, Kogami thought, what a Sibyl detective would deem impossible, even preposterous in his world, was something that acquired a different value where he came from. A perverse grimace spread on the man’s face, a sort of smiling frown full of certitude. "Nothing is impossible in the abolition blocks. Not anymore.”

“Not exactly a charmer when he finally decides to talk, is he?” Shion drawled with a slow plume of smoke, her profile silhouetted by blue light in the haze. “What could he possibly mean?”

"At least he's taunting us now,” Kogami murmured dryly. “But I don’t perceive urgency in his behavior. No negotiation or surrender. If he’s decided to talk it must be for more than dull temporizing, though I don’t think his objective is to necessarily give us what we want.”

“Hmm. Who knows.” Shion gave an affected gasp. “Could it be he likes Ginoza better?”

Kogami chuckled softly, and Shion smiled, proud of herself. He figured he probably had been looking as dismal as he felt.

“Definitely,” he acknowledged with a cool sigh, lifting himself up from the softness of the sofa, and starting to hanker for a smoke. He shoved the flaps of his navy windbreaker aside and thrust his hands in the pockets of his pants. “Gino can be a darling when he wants to. But I should head over there now. Might as well put some pressure now he’s talking.”

“I thought Ginoza said—”

“I know. I know he instructed all of you to keep me at bay. But this case might be bigger than we think and I can’t just wait idly by.”

Shion exhaled coolly, swiveling her chair toward her station again. “Very well. Just be careful.”

Freely, brashly for an interrogation, the man went on blathering on the screen. “But impossible things have been happening. People disappearing. Tunnels hidden behind holo. Miracles, even. The last of which involved a woman intercepting a truck in the tunnels, armed with nothing but a bat—so what I’ve been wondering is, how did the excellent and competent MWPSB get a double-crossing bitch to do their job for them?”

Doors glided open in front of him as Kogami’s step came to a standstill. Jaw clenching, he whirled round to face the grainy image of the man again.

“You’d do well to remember I’m the one asking questions here,” Ginoza retorted impatiently, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “This isn’t an exchange of particulars between two commensurate parties. This is an interrogation, and your time is running out.”

The man leaned in over the table and Kunizuka’s back went upright, her hand circling around her waist as a warning. “You see,” he said. “I can’t help but be intrigued as to how a single woman gained the trust of the underground resistance and helped them against the syndicates, all while working with the police.”

Kogami stiffened. Was that the reason behind Tsunemori’s ironclad secrecy? Did the man not kill her only because he was working information out of her? Even if Kogami had entertained a similar notion before—with her overt spurning of the system and her criminal consorts—something in him refused to admit that she could be, for lack of a better word, his enemy. But if what was being said was true, then the accusations he’d hurled at her—the same ones that had been tormenting him since he’d said them—may have been wholly understating.

“Justice for traitors and informers, know what that is? That wretched girl hanging from a wire in the ports of Ougishima where anyone else with funny ideas can see. Or worse—No. Better—her chained to a bed in the filth of a brothel. See that pretty hue turn black.” The man spoke slowly but without pause, in his visage a pained expression that evoked menace in lieu of sorrow. “Imagine, if you can, in a place crawling with people both desperate to cleanse their sins and itching for something unsullied to defile, just what coveted merchandise a clear-hued Sib would be. Not just any Sib, no. A plant by the MWPSB. A traitor. Hell, for all we know it might be her own people that get her first.”

With clenched fists, Kogami made his way back toward the screen. It wasn’t that the man’s tirade didn’t incense him greatly, considering to whom his poisoned darts were being aimed. But there was something else: the fact that he spoke as if he wasn’t in Sibyl’s claws. In his claws.

“That brat is too smart for her own good. Messing with things she don’t understand. Stealing things that don’t belong to her. Out of all the crummy chumps the so-called resistance has produced, this one might be the trickiest one. Should’ve snuffed her out when I had the chance.”

“This resistance,” Ginoza cleared his throat, “is it an anti-governmental group?”

The man stared superciliously, almost amused. “You Sibs think the blocks are seedbeds of chaos where the scum of society oozes like a weeping blister in your clean world. It’s not for me to deny it. I’ve seen men rip out each other’s guts over a cigarette. I’ve slain many more myself, men and women, for less than that. Why? You worried the pus might spill onto your streets? You afraid hearing these things will make you catch that disease?” A spark of relish in his eye. “What if I told you there’s a cure for that?”

“A—a cure? A cure for what?”

“The illness of evil—the illness the Sibyl system diagnosed for the rest of us. In fact, I’ll prove it to you right now,” the man invited with an almost affable tone. “Point your dominator at me.”

“What? What are you talking abou—H-Hound 2! No one ordered you to withdraw your dominator!”

Kunizuka, arm fully extended next to Ginoza’s face, had her sights aimed directly at the space between the eyebrows of the Arumajiro man. “I’m sorry, Inspector. This is the only language men like these speak.” A heavy mute second was filled with Ginoza’s eyes flitting from the dominator, to the man, back to Kunizuka until at last, haltingly, she lowered her arm and her jaw dropped with shock. “Th-There has to be a mistake. We checked his hue this morning and it was—a-and besides, he just said—”

Kogami didn’t wait to hear the rest. He bolted out of the analysis lab and down the corridor in the direction of the emergency stairs. His mind raced. One victim found dead in a factory. A second victim mauling herself to death in Nona Tower. Disparate timelines and intervals in both casualties, as if the pill’s dual mechanism could be detonated at a distance, at will. It made no sense. He hurtled down endless flights of stairs many floors below, gnawing despair lodged deep in his stomach. He’d seen him strangling her. He’d tried to drown him. No doubt he was a murderer. It couldn’t be. Nausea and doom had overtaken him by the time he tore past the doors of the last hallway and turned the last corner, silvered walls bouncing all around him as he caught sight of his mark leaving the interrogation room behind Ginoza and Kunizuka. He couldn’t see or hear until his hands were on the man. Until he felt other hands trying to pull him away.

“Shepherd 2! Get a hold of yourself!” Ginoza thundered, forcefully jostling against him. “Stop this right now! Kogami!”

“You fucking bastard,” Kogami growled, both hands yanking the manacled Arumajiro man by his threadbare shirt. “You know about the pill. You know what it is. You’re gonna tell me everything even if I have to kick it outta you!”

“Seems like someone’s found the antidote to Sibyl,” the tottering man hissed back, reveling in Kogami’s stunned expression. “Whatever it is you want to call it.”

“Yeah?” Kogami’s grip was taut on the collar around the man’s neck. “Then you must know about its side effects. Does that make you smile also?”

“I’d be more worried about that hue of yours, Inspector. I’d even go as far as advising you to choose your friends and allies wisely. Before she ruins you.”

A sobering shudder ran through Kogami.

“Search for her,” he rasped with bared teeth, “touch her again, and I swear I’ll find you and kill you with my own hands!”

“That’s enough of that!” Masaoka shouted from somewhere. Next thing he knew, Sasayama was there too, shouldering his way between them, tearing Kogami off as Kunizuka and Gino pulled the man away. Still, Kogami shoved and kicked and cursed as the man crossed the threshold of a door shutting closed, and then his vision went askew as a sharp pain had him hunching down and looking at the ground, immobilized.

“You need to cool down, son.” Masaoka tightened his armlock and Kogami heard himself pant helplessly, his forehead beading with sweat.

“Don’t you realize,” Kogami grunted through the pain, “that’s the one lead we have in this case?”

“And what good will it do if you end up in a rehabilitation facility?” Sasayama’s shoes came into view and Kogami was just able to shift his head up to shoot a glare at him. “How is pulling this bullshit gonna help you catch him then?”

There was the slow squeak and hush of a door opening and closing again.

“I hope you know this is all your influence, Sasayama,” Ginoza roared. “And if you think I won’t have a few words to say about you in the report of this incident, then you’re awfully misguided.” Masaoka loosened the grip of his metallic arm, and Kogami yanked his own free. He straightened up to meet the withering, unforgiving gaze of his partner. “Masaoka, go assist Kunizuka in the discharge of the witness. Kogami, you and I need to talk.”

“Gino, we can’t let him go,” Kogami protested with a gruff voice. “You saw what just happ—”

“Would you rather we do this in the presence of the Chief?”

Kogami squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to steady himself, but rage still boiled inside of him. “Fine,” he grumbled with frustration. “Fine.”

---------

Outside of Nona Tower the sun had set but the city was blazing like it was the middle of the day. A shine as artificial as that of the abolition blocks, though sleeker, clearer, new. Not the dizzying red and yellow twilights that led the way through the narrower, angular alleys of the abolition blocks, nor the darkened hollows and crannies where eyes and knives glinted. From a holographic billboard the large face of a woman donned in traditional garb gazed at him, her pale face dissolving into a pink forest, carpeted with what looked like pink snow. The next thing he noticed was that there was no distinct smell.

He walked the stretch of the plaza. Guardedly. Drawing near to where another hologram had attracted a multitude, but still keeping a cautious distance, he stood to watch. Three large fish swam in a hoop, floating in sync until one of them broke the formation to playfully pursue the others, making a squealing sound similar to that of rats, but louder and full of delight. Something like a fog, a vague sensation taking form, disturbed him. A nebulous recollection from years ago, of childhood in the blocks. A discoloured picture of animals like these nailed to a cracking wall. A wrinkled old lady calling him evil before falling with a thud. He remembered her body being warm even after he’d withdrawn his knife more times than he could count. The eyes in the eyes of his first kill looking deep into him and then…nothing. It’s cold, he thought, and that’s why I’m shivering. He peered at the crowd. Oblivious onlookers and their marveled profiles. His gaze drifted upwards and behind the surrounding skyscrapers. They didn’t know a few kilometers from here people burned. Soon they would.

He pivoted to two pairs of gawking eyes pegged on him. Youngsters. They approached him with slimy passivity, before gushing admiringly.

“Woah, mister, you really went out of your way with that cosplay! See? I told you the tattoos weren’t holo!”

“Of course they’re holo! How do you think he’d show to work with those tattoos? But isn’t the convention until next February though? If it was today I’m sure he’d win first prize!”

He snarled at the two pests, which only seemed to excite them more. A flashing light blinded him for a second, and before he could curse them out, they were scuttling away. It was then he took notice of the woman wearing a red long coat standing beside him.

“Do you actually know where you’re going, Igarashi-san?”

Unblemished skin. Long, silky hair. Almond eyes evenly shaped with a strange green sheen to them, and a thin, pointy nose. An enigmatic smile that could’ve been wider but wasn’t.

“Choe Gu-sung?”

“I knew Makishima-san was right to put his trust in the Arumajiro.”

“Your holo is too perfect,” Igarashi answered with blunt disdain. “No one looks like that.”

“That may be true in the abolition blocks, but as you can see, people love illusions here.”

Minutes later they were driving through the elevated highways of Tokyo. A light rain fell aslant, pins of purple and pink hitting on the windshield of the driverless vehicle. Igarashi kept a wary side-eye on Makishima’s lackey sitting beside him, though underneath that stupid holo he was more unreadable than usual. Not that he didn’t understand how such concealment was necessary for serious matters, but it pissed him off that important work should fall on the lap of a foreigner out of all people.

“I hope your doubts about our plan are settled now, Igarashi-san,” said Choe Gu-sung as if reading his mind, the faintest hint of mockery in his voice.

“Our plan requires certain arrangements we’ll overlook for the moment, but I know the Arumajiro won’t be so sparing afterwards.”

“It’s precisely that ruthlessness that Makishima found so compelling for this project to start with. In this brave new world of Sibyl, few men are willing to go where the Arumajiro go, and so your clan is instrumental for what needs to be done.”

All the sickly ass-licking made Igarashi turn his face toward the city flashing past. “To think you’re the first person to

address me by my name since I was arrested,” he muttered with disgust.

Once they had arrived at the high-rise hotel, an elegant wooden door embellished with the metal knocker of a spider admitted them into a vast suite decked out with fine furnishings. A low gray sofa with plush cushions half-mooned around a glass table where a steaming cup of tea had been set. An open book rested onto the lid of a black piano, and above it, a strange light fixture glittered from the ceiling like a dancing bride. Igarashi was becoming acutely aware of the thick, green rug underneath his tatty boots, but unlike him, the silver-haired man contemplating Tokyo out of the ceiling-to-floor windows fit into the room perfectly. Deceptively.

“I’m glad you made it out safely, Igarashi-san.”

Obscured on the reflection, Makishima’s features betrayed his otherwise harmless semblance as a truer, more sinister face smiled at Igarashi from the glass. Long gone was his first impression of a wealthy, over-spoilt child uttering words of revolution because, where the pointless, clumsy violence of the blocks rose and fell with no consequence or significance, Makishima had given them the means to overthrow an evil bigger than all the gangsters of the underground.

“The MWPSB has an informer in the blocks. That’s how they were able to get us. It’s Lemonade Candy.”

Piqued by his words, Makishima looked briefly over his shoulder. “The mastermind of the resistance works with the MWPSB,” he said, turning again toward the city. “How interesting. It only makes it the more impressive for you to have survived such a predicament, being attacked, as you were, by both sides.”

“It was one of their own group who gave them away. An unregistered who’d worked for Bunzo.” Igarashi’s fingers trailed the soft fabric on the arm of the sofa without daring to sit. “Wanted to settle a score or somethin’. Went mad, and for a moment there I really thought we’d turned the tables on her.”

“Her, you said?”

“Lemonade Candy is a twenty-something woman. Small and thin as a reed. And still the bitch was able to take out our lights singlehandedly and then escape through one of their hidden tunnels. We followed, and for a moment I had her, until an inspector showed up.”

“She ensnared you,” murmured Makishima. “She used herself as bait knowing you’d follow her. What appeared like recklessness at a cursory glance, was a calculated gamble.” He turned around and ambled across the room, feathery and lithe, with hands in his pockets. “We’re not the only ones with the will to choose to bet, it seems.”

Again there was that mysterious smile on Makishima’s lips and, like an obedient disciple, Igarashi felt the irresistible urge to supply more. “The resistance is not our biggest problem. Getting the syndicate to get rid of her now that I’ve seen her should be easy. But there’s also the police. That detective, especially. He don’t seem the type to let go of things.” An ear-to-ear grin spread on his face. “And he’s a hot head for that woman. Nearly slugged me when I mentioned her to him. Threatened to kill me, even.”

“Are they not merely enforcers?”

“No,” Igarashi assured with a sharp shake of his head. “He’s the one who’s been interrogating me. Or trying to, at least. Today I heard his partner refer to him as Kogami. As for the woman…haven’t seen her since that night.”

“Kogami,” Makishima echoed with flash of eagerness in his amber eyes. “Are there still humans in this city who are not afraid of themselves, I wonder? And, if so, is it a coincidence that we happened to lure two of them out of hiding? Is this what the sentimentalist calls ‘destiny’?”

Across from him, Choe Gu-sung ambled over and sat on the other side of the sofa where he opened a laptop. He’d remained so quiet, Igarashi had but completely forgotten about his presence, and his appearance, now devoid of holo, glared like a sour reminder. He began typing something hurriedly.

“They’re vermin—that’s what they are,” crossing his arms, Igarashi commented while looming over Choe. “All those who can’t rise by their own strength deserve to be squashed like roaches. It’s the rule of the world. Eat or be eaten.”

“You know, Igarashi-san,” Makishima lingered by the piano, slowly turning over the pages of the book. “I’ve always admired men like you. The ones who agitate the whole world through the sheer strength of your desire. If the world sings blue, you’ll force it to sing red until it matches your vision. A common man in an uncommon world. Please,” his eyes rose from the page to watch him intently. “Understand that this is the deepest of compliments. You see, in this sterile, plastic world, that type of primal life force has been forgotten. The human animal domesticated, his soul depurated, sterilized, until he became nothing more than the ruins of what he once was—and ruins are only beautiful after a great war. Anything else is…mockery.”

“Well, that’s the way of the blocks. The only way we know. And now, thanks to you, these things will be ours too.” Not until he said it did it seem true to Igarashi—that they would rule over this world just like they ruled over the underground. Dominators, cymatic scanners and drones could not stop them anymore, and the weak children of Sibyl would succumb just like their evil mother. “And even the enemies of the Arumajiro won’t mind it if it means destroying this system.”

“You are correct. Anger has an interesting way of vitalizing people in ways no other need or cause does, notwithstanding how pure or lofty. That vein those spurned by the system share is what the Sibyl system has cut off and anesthetized, to the extent where the masses can’t even recall it ever being there. Their senses lay dormant as if they could truly exist as humans without them. Others even claim to want to live forever. But what value does a life have when it’s benumbed and protected from the knowledge of its own mortality? When it loses all primitive instincts in a beautiful cage where there’s no danger? As in the yesteryear, we need men like you to remind us what it means to be alive.”

In more ways than he could understand, Makishima’s words made Igarashi feel strangely satisfied. Comforted, even. Never before had he thought of his life in any aspect beyond, well, living. What for was a question that hadn’t occurred to him. But for all the things he’d seen and done, he never would have guessed it’d be this man the one to weave meaning into his life.

“Do you know what intrahistory is, Igarashi-san?”

Choe Gu-sung’s annoying typing made it difficult for him to hear the question. “Huh?”

“Intrahistory,” Makishima continued as he ran his finger down a yellowed page in the book, “Is the history that’s left outside of the books. Think of it as the blank margins on the paper. It’s the story of the nameless people who made history but who are never mentioned. Without them, History with a capital H is unconceivable.”

Igarashi gave a sly smile. “Is that the people from the blocks?”

“Indeed. The men who wrought the world and thrust it forward through blood and fire. You can see why the system made sure we never hear about them. Those who dare to be the actors of their own existence have no need for Sibyl.”

“Like the Arumajiro in the blocks.”

Makishima closed the book carefully. “Like the gladiators who died devoured by the lions under the impassive eyes of an Emperor. Or the soldiers in the vanguard bringing us closer to victory with their sacrifices. The anonymous martyrs who enrage the survivors. The strongest within the strong.”

It was quiet now. Choe Gu-sung had abruptly stopped his noise. A bizarre, undeniable aura of expectation hung in the air. Igarashi swallowed something he’d not felt in years down his parched throat, his mind scrambling to decipher what Makishima was getting at with his incessant blabber.

“Violence can be captivating, even beautiful. But like any art, when it’s empty, it’s hopelessly corrupted and vulgar. You do not need to worry about that, Igarashi-san. I’ll be sure to make your sacrifice meaningful.”

Dread surged in Igarashi like a freezing chill. “What the hell are you talking about?” he murmured. He’d kill the two of them. He could take them both easily, rip them apart with his hands, bludgeon them to death.

With a flourish, Choe Gu-sung made a single clicking sound on his keyboard, and Igarashi felt his body drop and crash into the glass table. A hail storm of white particles infested his vision, followed by a green crooked line and a tea cup rolling on the floor. Beyond that, Makishima’s feet trod toward him with the precision of a ropewalker, and he felt fear.

“I know you don’t like this gruesome part, Choe. You may go.”

Igarashi’s wild eyes tried to meet the mechanical eyes of the hacker, but he couldn’t move because a rumbling began inside his body; his blood boiling and searing and cauterizing from the inside. He clenched his teeth and grunted, his body growing rigid as pain travelled through his veins like a jagged marble—excruciating pain that made it impossible to think on anything except on it being over. With what little mind he had, he started wide-eyed at a slice of a window visible between Makishima’s legs, wishing with all his rotten heart he could jump from it. Then he heard himself howl a beast-like howl over and over again.

“’Alas, what is good and what is evil?’” Makishima said looking down on him. “’Are they both one single thing with which we furiously attest our impotence and passion to attain the infinite by even the maddest means? Or are they two different things? Yes…they had sooner be one and the same…for if not, what will become of me on Judgement Day?’”

#psycho-pass #dragnet #my fanfic #Akane Tsunemori #kogami shinya #makishima shogo #original character

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physicalturian · 4 years

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Victory Fuck - Kuroo x F!Reader [NSFW]

TW: slight choking during the sex. (The breathing is ok, it's in the heat of the moment and it's consensual)

Summary : You playfully turn down Kuroo's offer to have sex right after his match. He takes it personally and makes it a competition to see who asks the other to fuck first. It's a horny battle if you will.

[She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]

Kuroo had won another game. Or at least his team, but some credits went to him. If the victorious grin on his face was anything to go by, he was pretty happy about this victory. Even more so knowing that after most of his wins we’d have a party. I was joining him on the court, as everyone started leaving the bleachers to join the hall; There were a few journalists already there, asking questions to the players, mainly the captain, and I could see he was being polite and answering like he knew he should. But when his eyes met mine, he grinned widely, excusing himself to the interviewer before starting marching towards me. “Babe! We won!” he exclaimed as he undid his jacket and draped it over my shoulders before bringing me closer, his hands on my hips. “I see that, good job.” I told him with a smile.

He stared back at me a moment before pecking my lips softly, “What do I get for winning?” he breathed against my lips, his usual smirk back on his features. From the look he was giving me, I knew full well what he wanted, adding to that the after-game rush of winning. He was feeling something, strongly. “You get to shower, and you get to go get changed, because we have a party after this, and you stink.” I told him with a teasing smile. He only sighed in response, resting his forehead against mine. It was not a sigh of desperation, no, it was more of a resigned one. “Are we playing this game, babe? You really don’t want-“ “Nope, I’ll wait until we’re home. Even though you’re very hot right now,” I emphasized my words by letting my hands wander to his ass, however he quickly grabbed them, a sly grin on his lips. “Now, now, I have to get changed, remember? These cakes will have to wait, and so will you.” I quickly understood what he meant, and I regretted telling him off, the moment I understood. “Come on, I was kidding- you’re not going to be like that, are you? C’mon, after your shower we can-“ “You missed your chance babe, this will be fun.”

He then kissed me before rushing off to the changing room, his stupid laugh echoing in the huge room. I couldn’t believe this. He was going to be petty just for that? I sighed and put on his jacket before leaving the court and waiting in the hall for his pretty face to show.

When I saw him, a smile formed on my lips. I’ve always liked seeing his face right after he showered, his cheeks would always flush from the heat of the water and I loved seeing it. It was hard to make the man blush in the first place, which is why I relished in the after-shower sight. “Alright babe, are we ready to go?” He asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “Not the shoulders, I’ll look like a trophy wife.” I scoffed jokingly, moving his hand to my hips, but it was not the smartest decision considering the situation. He quickly gripped my hips tight then he moved his hand to my lower back as we walked to my car. “Don’t you like it when I show you off?” he whispered in my ear as his hand slid to my ass. I was not going to pay it any mind, he said we were playing this game, and I was going to win. I didn’t care if his beautiful large hand was touching me, no, no… So I huffed a laugh, “You’d like it too much, I wouldn’t want to give you the satisfaction to flaunt this,” I then gesture to myself with both my hands before smirking back at him.

His eyes seemed to darken for a moment before his face returned to his usual carefree expression. “You’re being cocky babe. I like it, don’t get me wrong, but you’re not going to win. Continue though, you’ll lose anyway.” His voice was soft, and there was not an ounce of anger behind it. He was genuinely entertained by this, and while his voice did not reflect the weight of his words, I knew. I rolled my eyes at his words and pulled back from him to reach the driver’s side of the car, but right when I pushed away, he slapped my ass, saying that giving him attitude was pointless. I laughed and entered the car as he did. “Hey you started this Tetsurou, I’ll play along. We’ll see how long you’ll last.” I shrugged before fastening my seatbelt and starting the car. We then drove off to his friend’s house as if nothing was happening right now. As if we were not competing to see who’d cave in first. As if there was no competition on who’d crave the other’s touch so much, they’d beg to be touched. And yet, we both knew it was going on, and both of us were dead set on winning. The winning price? Seeing the other beg first.

Funny enough, the moment we reached his friend’s house, he left the car and happily joined his friend, not paying me any mind. It felt off, but I put it on the count of the excitement of seeing his old friends again. Shaking my head, I left the car and trailed a little bit behind, but not losing sight of him; I knew him well enough that he’d mingle so well, he could disappear the minute I’d look away. Hearing my name being called, I looked at the source and saw Bokuto with his arm around Kuroo, while he was waving his other arm in case, I did not see him. “What’s up Bokuto-“ I was cut off by the energetic man who let go of my boyfriend and was now gesticulating. “I can’t believe you’re still with this guy! You still haven’t gotten enough of his provokes? Ouch- oi don’t hit me Kuroo, you know I’m right!” As Bokuto checked where Kuroo had punched him, the black-haired man laughed, “Of course she’s staying, it’s exactly why she’s staying,” he started. I gave him a warning look, feeling like he was going to be spilling too much personal info. When he started talking, our friend looked up from his stomach and looked at us curiously, listening. I was already feeling warmer, he did not need to expose me like this, that bastard.

“She likes it, the taunts, the teasing,” he came up closer, grabbing my chin between his index finger and thumb, “The competition…” his breath was tickling my lips, he was so close to kissing me, to losing too. But as if he read my mind, he pulled back, grinning mischievously, “She’ll definitely be a sore loser by the end of this, because I know exactly what buttons to press.” Our moment was cut short when we heard someone clearing their throat, it was Bokuto who was still standing there awkwardly. “That’s between you guys, really. But uh, do you wanna go inside and play some games? I mean, that’s if you’re like… not too horny and you’re not going to be all over each other- because the tension here,” he pointed at the both of us, “It’s super, super, sexual and I feel like you are going to bang at my house- and you know what, if you do, do it in the guest room- yeah don’t use my room or somewhere else,” Then, after a sharp intake of air, he sighed, “Anyway! Games? Anyone?” I laughed at what he said and gave him a curt nod, ignoring Kuroo’s spilling of info, “Sure, yeah, let’s.” He seemed to light up at that and turned around rapidly to make his way back inside, with Kuroo calling out from behind, “I can’t promise that though- we might just fuck in the toilets if that’s cool with you, bro?”

I couldn’t help but cackle, maybe nervously, at his words. Bokuto, however, seemed unfazed, “I mean, that’s cool bro- just don’t take too long, you know?” Fortunately for me, most people around the house were probably deafened by the loud music, but the few who heard almost hooted. This was the closest thing to a frat party, the only thing saving this was that I could see a few sane people like Tsukishima. Him and a few other friends of Kuroo and I that had a little bit of decency. They were all sitting around the low table in the living-room, ready to do whatever to get drunk. My boyfriend was already there, sitting down surrounded by all types of people, some drunk, some tipsy and some way too sober for that shit. I could see the latter, being Akaashi, with his phone in hand. Hearing my name being called once more, I resumed my walk and joined the couch only to see there wasn’t any more space. Chuckling I stood behind the couch, and placed my hands on Kuroo’s shoulders, tightening my grip as I talked. “Looks like it’ll be without me, unless,” I leaned over and let my hands trail to his neck, grabbing it ever so lightly, “Unless you want me to sit on your lap?” I whispered seductively in his ear.

“I’m good babe, bring in a chair so we can start.” He said off-handedly. I was surprised by his coldness, but saw the weakest smirk on his lips as he tried to keep his facial expression natural. Huffing, I straightened my back and agreed, ignoring the burning in my cheek at the lack of teasing I got in return. Was he playing the ignoring card while I tried to make him cave? That’s no fun, that’s too easy. It did not matter, “Sure, be back in a sec’ guys.” After bringing the chair to the table, we were able to begin the game which is where everything began.

The torture. I believe the entire thing was done on purpose but many things happened. No matter how much I tried to tease him, he wouldn’t return anything. He would almost ignore what I said and change the topic. With that, was the constant show off of everything. The way he’d put his finger between his teeth, not biting, just put it there as he made a thinking face before answering the question. The unbuttoned shirt that showed off his collarbone just, the most sinful way, was also torture. He would also throw himself back against the couch as he laughed, his hand slapping his thighs, they were showed in all their glory in his tight suit pants. And fuck, how he’d run his tongue over his lips then his chin as he licked the beer that spilled from his cup. If it wasn’t enough, he’d use the back of his hand, and fuck was I a sucker for his hands. And him. His beautiful face when he talked excitedly to everyone around him, he was giving them his attention and not me. No, no, I’m not losing, get your thoughts back.

My reverie was interrupted when Yaku called my name, “What do you say? You haven’t said much, are you good?” I looked up and met Kuroo’s face first, he was so self-satisfied at that very moment, I wanted to tear that smirk apart. “Yeah babe, are you good?” He asked in a fake-caring tone, that bastard knew what he was doing. He even rolled up his sleeves, how was I supposed to resist to that? No, get back on track. “I’m good, sorry I was a bit lost in thoughts. Sorry what was the question?” I asked as I tear my gaze away from Kuroo’s, it needed a lot of efforts but I did manage. “Actually, are you really ok? You seem to be hot, maybe you should get some fresh air?” Someone else said, I chuckled nervously and put my cup down on the table before standing up. “Yeah, maybe I’ll do that,” I stated, giving my boyfriend an insistent look before turning around and leaving the room to go on the terrace outside where, strangely, no one was. The moment I felt the cold night breeze hit my face, a shiver ran down my spine and I sighed in relief. That shithead. Running both my hands on my scalp, I left the terrace and made my way to the rattan couch in the garden. While staring at the sky, my heart almost stopped when I heard someone’s steps on the terrace floor, another sigh of relief escaped my lips when I realized it was none other than my boyfriend that was joining me.

I was the first one to talk when he was in front of me, his arms crossed. “First, you’re not playing fair. Second,-“ I couldn’t finish talking when I heard his loud laugh as he crouched in front of me, grinning. “Not fair? Babe, I’m playing to my strength. Didn’t you like the show?” He asked playfully, I only scoffed in response before really answering him. “You know I did- but you deadass rejected me sitting on your lap…” I mumbled, I was not mad, I was even smiling a bit but I wanted to know why he did that. “I had to kitten, you’d have a too strong advantage if you were that close to my dick you know?” he replied as if it all made sense, as if it was all about strategy. There was a short silence, then we both laughed at that. “You’re not wrong I guess, but now I am clearly at disadvantage-“ “Do you mean you’re losing? Of course, you are! I can see how hot and bothered you are babe. You just have to say the words and I’ll fuck you right now.” He said off-handedly, his elbows on his knees since he was still crouching. If I pushed him right now, he’d clearly lose his balance from the stupid position he’s sitting and yet it was so hot. His thighs filling his pants so nicely, and his pretty face so close I could kiss him right now- but no I had to win, right? Unless…

“The words being, let’s make a truce. I’m willing to make a truce, for you-“ another bark laugh echoed while he stood up and towered my sitting form, a prideful smile on his face. “No truce, just ask nicely. I can go on a lot longer than this, you’re already all flushed babe.” He whispered seductively, his hands now on each side of my face to make me look up at him. I hated how hot he looked right now, and fuck he was finally touching me after his petty game. I wanted him to touch me more, I wanted to touch him. Raising my hand, I wanted to touch his chest but he grabbed my hand before I could even graze it. “Are you not listening, brat? Concede first, then I’ll fuck you how you like.” This time I couldn’t ignore the throbbing that was happening between my legs, but I didn’t want to lose. He’d have too much pride in making me cave first. Fuck, fuck, fuck- I mean yeah, fuck that’s what I wanted but…

“Kuroo, come on, please-“ I covered my mouth at the words that escaped it without me even thinking about it, my body was reacting on his own. “Mmh? I didn’t hear anything, I think you need to be clearer- even better, you need to say: I lost, give me your victory fuck Tetsu.” He suggested, as he leaned in closer. I rolled my eyes and said it was stupid, making him continue, “You’re making this a lot more difficult than it is kitten, just say the words and you’ll be screaming in pleasure soon. Just say it, ‘I lost, give me your victory fuck Tetsu’” This time he drawled the words, to make me understand to sentence even more. I did not respond. It made him sigh as he sat down next to me. “Maybe you need a little push babe, come here.” He patted his thighs as he leaned back on the rattan couch, his smirk ever as present. It was tempting, and fuck maybe he’d let it go if I joined him right now? Shuffling on my seat, I followed his suggestion and straddled his lap, placing my hands on his shoulders. “It wasn’t that hard, now was it?” he breathed right next to my ear as he brought me right against his crotch, his hands gripping my ass. I was finally getting some friction and it felt divine, for the littlest quantity I got at least. “Don’t get off already, you’re not getting anything until you say the words.” I scoffed, gripping the back of his hair tightly as I pulled him back. “We’re at a party…” I whispered, as if it was the only thing that’d stop me from going further with this.

With a devilish grin, he huffed, “And that would stop you? I know you want me. I know all of your tells, love. You’re this close to giving in, because I’m winning.” This time his mouth was grazing the skin of my neck as he spoke, the feeling of his breath on my skin making the hair on the nap of my neck, raise. I cocked my head to the side to touch the side of his head with mine, but he moved before I could, making me groan in frustration. “You can be discrete, right?” he asked rhetorically as his hands trailed from my ass to my thighs. I gasped at the feather-like brush of his fingers on my inner thighs, only inches away from my crotch. But at my reaction he stopped once more, humming as he leaned back once more, giving me a once over. “You’re in a pretty bad position for a winner. I wonder how long you can stay like that, like a stubborn, horny slut.” My eyes widened at his words but it sent jolts coursing through my body, I rolled my hips against him in need. He grinned broadly, grabbing my jaw, puckering my lips in his grip. “Say the fucking words babe, and your needy little self will get what she wants.” He was getting impatient. I could see it and feel it, he wanted this as much as I wanted it, maybe I could still win, if I played my cards right.

I chuckled and put my hands on his pants zipper, “I think you’re also fucking needy, isn’t it tight in there?” His hands were quick to grab mine, a breathless laugh escaping his mouth. “There, there, you’re getting ahead of yourself. Let me remind you who’s the needy one,” holding my hips, he rolled them onto his bulge, making both of us scoff breathlessly. Then I was the one to gasp when his hand slid under my shirt, his nails ever so lightly scraping my back making me arch it in surprise. “Alright- stop that it’s cheating.” “Oh, is it? My bad. No touching you, is that right?” I hated the tone he was using, it was mocking, it had an underlying meaning to it, but I nodded, feeling a slight disappointment when he moved his hand from my back. “But I can do this, right?” he asked, unzipping his pants and sliding his hand inside his boxer as he looked at me with a smirk. I stood there, mouth agape. Was he really planning on getting off right there, without fucking me? “Tetsu.” I said in a warning tone, letting my eyes trail from his lower parts to his face.

“It’s not cheating, babe. You’ll have to say the words soon, or I’ll just finish this off first-“ I grabbed his hand to stop him from moving, and he reacted just as fast with his other hand to my throat. It wasn’t too tight, but it was just enough to make me understand to stop fucking around, and at the same time it made my throbbing a lot stronger. “No fucking touching. I knew you were a slut, needy for my cock but you give in first.” He breathed seductively, his hold on my neck tightening just slightly. Looking at me dead in the eyes, he smiled, almost reassuringly, uttering my name under his breath, “Say it for me.” I frowned, looking at his lips as he mouthed the words and I followed, “I lost,” I almost spat, looking at his glimmering eyes, “Give me your victory fuck,” I finished, looking off to the side. I heard him tsk as he made me face him, “Who? Whose victory fuck is this? Mm? Again babe,” he made a gesture with his hand as if he was rewinding. He then let go of my neck and grabbed my jaw once more, I sighed, my face heating up by the second. “I lost. Give me your victory fuck, Tetsu.” I could barely hear myself, but it was enough for him.

With a heavy sigh he smiled, “See! It wasn’t that bad, right? Come on, remove what’s in the way babe.” He pulled at the hem of my pants, before letting me stand up. I took off my pants, underwear and shoes, before carefully wrapping his jacket around my waist and sitting back on his lap. There was a pout on his face when he saw the jacket on my ass, “Aww, you don’t want to let everyone enjoy the view of your ass?” Rolling my eyes, I grabbed his hair and angled his face so that he was looking up at me as I straddled his lap. “I didn’t peg you as someone who’d share-“ “And you’re fucking right,” he grabbed my chin roughly then kissed me with just as much passion, “Because you’re mine, and I get to do what I please with you.” He explained, breathless. When he started placing open mouth kisses on my neck, nipping my skin here and there, I grinded against him to get myself going, to get any kind of friction. In the heat of the moment, I slide one finger inside myself but got stopped the moment it brushed my sensitive spot.

Opening my eyes suddenly, I gave my boyfriend a look of disbelief. “What-“ “No touching unless you beg for it, ask nicely.” He said as he pressed gentle kisses on my neck, then down to my collarbone, his tongue brushing slowly against my skin before he started sucking it; One of his hand was still holding mine, while the other was gripping my waist tight. “Kuroo- are you kidding me?” Stopping his activities, he looked up at me lustfully, his surprised face turning into a more serious one. “Do I look like I’m kidding?” “I hate it when you do that, just let me-“ I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped my lips when his finger entered me, “I said beg, you can do that for me right? I know you want more of this, because you’re my needy slut, right?” His unoccupied hand was now grabbing his cock as he started stroking himself to the view while I rocked my hips against his finger, trying to feel more. I begged him for more, I begged him to add fingers, to fuck me right but he did not move. Instead he slowed down, his smirk widening. “Fuck’s sake- don’t fuck around, I did what you wanted-“ “I won’t fuck around, I’ll fuck you babe but I want you tight for me.”

He removed his finger to pull out his wallet and grab a condom, while he opened the packed and rolled it on his cock, I slid two fingers inside my throbbing core; Curling them how I liked it while brushing my thumb over my sensitive nub, my head was resting against his shoulder as I kept moving, working hard to get closer to relief. It made him huff to see me pleasuring myself so he grabbed my wrist to stop me, he slowly brought my fingers to his mouth as he ran his tongue over it, getting them clean. “Did I not say to beg? Come on-“ Wanting to feel him, I did not need to be told twice, so I leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Fuck me, please,” he groaned at the sensation of my breath against his skin but only laughed shortly, a strained laugh, but he managed to say, “I’m sure you can do better kitten, beg like I know you can.” I hated it, but I loved it. It was embarrassing, humiliating, but hot. He was an asshole, but the best. I continue to whisper what he wanted to hear, throwing my pride aside even though it hurt to do so. I started peppering his jaw with kisses, then his neck, and it’s when I started attacking his neck that he let out another strained chuckled and he told me that he needed me.

Lifting me up slightly with his hands under my thighs, he helped me onto his cock, my knees supporting me on each side of him as I slowly eased myself on his erected member. We were both breathing erratically at the feeling of one another, my hands were gripping his shirt as I focused on the stinging pain but it slowly faded away once he was fully sheathed and not moving. We waited like that a moment, our breaths mixing as our forehead were touching. The tenderness was interrupted when someone called out our names from the terrace, and I was about to get off of him when he put his hands on my back and kept me there. “Put your head on my shoulder, trust me.” He whispered hurriedly; I followed his direction as he called back asking what they wanted. The person asked if everything was okay, and as the good liar he was, Tetsurou said, “We’re coming soon, she’s just a bit on edge. Give us like 20 minutes, we’ll come back!” The person seemed to be satisfied with that answer and left without any more question, leaving us on our own once more

“They’re gone, you can fuck yourself on my cock now.” He said cockily. I looked up at him in half-shock, but rolled my hips once, twice, and stopped, giving him a smirk. He was watching intently my actions and looked up in frustration when I stopped. “Oh, no. If you’re going to act like that, I have no choice but fuck the brattiness out of you, babe. You don’t fucking tease me, I tease you.” Then without a warning he grabbed me by the waist and started lifting me up to meet his thrusts, he was hitting the bottom each time, lifting me high enough so that only the tip of his cock was inside me before thrusting it back in without ever stopping. He wasn’t slowing down either, just fucking me, and the only balance I had was my hands on his shoulders but at some point, I followed his instructions and actually started fucking myself on his cock. We were both panting, grunting and moaning wordlessly, mouths open and heat surrounding the both of us.

When he let go of my waist, I kept riding him, hoping to reach an orgasm, and while I was close it was not enough. I needed more stimulation, so with all I could muster I uttered, “More, touch.” He seemed to understand where I was coming from and nodded eagerly, his smile ever so present as he paid extra attention to my clit. I let my head fall back, arching my back at the added stimulation. I quickly covered my mouth when a louder moan escaped my mouth. “There it is, that’s it babe scream for me. I’m close too- here let me,” Without a warning he helped me onto my back and started fucking me roughly, grunting at each thrust. He liked it better when he could just put my leg over his shoulder and fuck me senseless, and so did I. I desperately gripped his biceps while my free hand was playing with my clit, bringing me closer and closer to release. Opening my eyes, I had not realized I had closed, I smiled although I believe it did not look like much with the elation I was feeling, my mouth opening every time he’d thrust back inside me.

“You’re so hot right now-“ my voice went in a higher pitch when I felt him hit the right spot and a loud moan ripped my throat. Realizing what he was going, he smirked before repeating exactly the same action, “If you could see yourself right now, so pretty for me. You feel so good, doesn’t it feel good to lose, babe?” He was out of breath as he said so, but it made me feel so hot suddenly. Maybe it was the reminder of having lost his stupid game but I did not have time to overthink that I saw white, my head lolling back as I arched my back into him once more, a throaty moan escaping me one final time. With a few more thrusts, he found his release too before pulling out of me with a slick noise. I felt my back a bit sore from the sudden change when he slammed me back on the bench, and my thighs too from the position he fucked me in but other than that, I felt great. So fucking great. Lifting my arm, I heard my boyfriend chuckled as he helped me sit up, a proud grin on his face. “That good, uh?”

I rolled my eyes, asking him to hand me my clothes back, which he did without hesitation. “We should probably hurry up, we took more than 20 minutes.” He said softly as he zipped his pants back, asking me to give him a tissue from his jacket pocket. Once I finished putting on my shoes, I patted the pockets and handed it to him, only to see him dropped the closed used condom in it. I couldn’t help but laugh at the though of him, having that condom in a tissue, probably in his pocket, until he found the trash inside. “Hey, don’t laugh babe, I do what I can. I respect my bro enough to not just throw that like that you know?” He said in a joking tone as he stood up, I followed and took his hand in mine, smiling. “So, do we still get to have another victory fuck when we get home or...” I pondered out loud, wanting more of him but willing to wait until we got home. “Baaabe,” he drawled, looking at me with fake shock, “Did you read my mind?” chuckling, he leaned in and kissed me longingly, “Of course there will be another round, this was like- an amuse-bouche, you know? I’ll fuck you right once we’re home, promised.” I loved how he could say things like that so lightly, it made me smile like an idiot for some reason.

Walking back to the house, he whispered right before we got in, “And if you’re good, I’ll edge you just right babe.” I almost choked on my saliva as Kuroo walked to the kitchen to throw his tissue before coming back. When Bokuto saw us enter the living room he rushed to our side, “Guys! What happened? Is everything alright-“ he stopped himself and gave us a look. A long look. A knowing look. Then he looked at my boyfriend. “Bro, I said ok for the toilets. It better-“ Interrupting him, Kuroo scoffed, smiling, “It’s clean bro, I’m not sloppy don’t worry. And I’m not guilty, not really, I said I couldn’t promise shit. And she was impatient for me to fuck her pretty little-“ “Alriiight, games? Anyone? Bit of fun? Party people, let’s get some drinks.” I said before leaving the two friends and joining the other at the table.

I couldn’t handle him talking so freely about our sex life, but I couldn’t blame him considering they were best friends. And that’s why I had to leave them on their own when those time came. This was the cons of dating a man that was ready to expose your deepest kinks just to tease.

But fuck was it a good teasing though. And was the fuck good too.

#Kuroo Tetsurou #kuroo testuro #Kuroo Tetsurō #kuroo x reader #haikyu x reader #kuroo x female reader

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figonas · 3 years

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Twilight Re-watch Notes Pt. 1 - A Contest for the Worst Movie Quote in History

I'd like to think I'm funny so please enjoy my scene-by-scene notes from a recent Twilight Saga re-watch.

Hey Catherine Hardwicke, opening with the death of an animal was probably not the best choice but go off I guess??

There is a lot of general Bella awkwardness that I'm skipping over here but the scene in gym class is so horrifically, painfully uncomfortable that I almost passed out from the second-hand embarrassment.

Jessica trying her best to be fake nice to the human embodiment of a crumpled soda can: "Aren't people from Arizona like....really tan"

Bella with all the cadence of a child who just found out Santa isn't real: "yeah..I guess that's why they kicked me out"

Mike clearly just trying to get his dick wet: "HAHAH you are funny"

no mike she is not.

I'm not gonna go into the biology class scene because god knows tumblr has beaten that particular horse to death. BUT the scene in the administration office immediately after that is a TRIP. Edward has one of his most dramatic lines here when they won't let him switch classes: “I’ll just have to endure it” ?!?!?!?!?!?! This is INSANITY, he sounds like he's going to burst into tears like Edward please chill you aren't even being a little subtle.

I will never get over Bella trying to put Ketchup on her burger and then just???? giving up???? when it doesn't come out after she limply shakes it approximately once.

“HOW YOU LIKIN DA RAIN GIRL” Is our first contender for the worst and most unnatural line in movie history, and trust me there are plenty more.

Bella accusatorily saying “you were gone” to Edward as if this dude who she met for approximately 30 minutes 2 weeks ago owes her even a PALTRTY SCRAP of an explanation about anything???????

Actually, this whole scene is a horrific nightmare of awkward intrusive conversation:

“You’re asking me about the weather” HOE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER

“hey did you get contacts” WHO JUST ASKS THAT?!?

and of course; “it’s the fluorescents” [RUNS AWAY]

Charlie and Bella have the only organic-sounding dialogue in the entire movie. Any awkwardness they have is BELIEVABLE father-daughter awkwardness and not like "I'm being forced to film this against my will" awkwardness like every other exchange in this film series.

Bella asks Edward ALL OF ONCE about him saving her from the truck and Edward gets so haughty and smug thinking that Bella won't figure it out

“you’re not gonna let this go are you?” “no” “then I hope you enjoy disappointment” [storms off] MY DUDE LITERALLY 2 SCENES LATER SHE FIGURES IT OUT IN 3 GOOGLE CLICKS

“I had an adrenaline rush, it’s very common you can google it” contender number two for the terrible dialogue award.

Edward saying “if you were smart you would stay away from me” AFTER HE APPROACHED HER LIKE FUCK OFF [skeleton throwing its own skull gif]

Kstew got a lot of flack for her performance in this movie but when she has a good partner to exchange lines with she SHINES. The scene with Angela and her at the beach where she tells her to ask Eric to prom is GOOD. EVERY scene with Charlie in THIS ENTIRE FRANCHISE is GOOD. It is nothing but pure misogyny that Rpatz didn’t catch any flack for his truly, horrifically awkward performance

I cannot believe Stephanie thought it would be a good idea to have Edward save Bella from potentially getting gang r*ped like I get it girl is about the drama but still this is just a TOOOUCH too far

“your hand is so cold,” WHO SAYS THIS TO SOMEONE THEY BARELY KNOW COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED???

SHE TRIES TO REFUSE CARRYING BEAR MACE WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST R*PED NOT 4 HOURS PREVIOUSLY LIKE SIS CARRY A KNIFE?!?!?!?!?

The “you’re impossibly fast & strong” monologue is so bad I want to barf

“I’ve killed people before” “doesn’t matter” BITCH YES IT DOES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

“MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN” IS SO BAD. Like we all recognize how bad this is right? Especially when one considered the target demographic for these films, i.e. teenage girls, have NO FUCKING FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS WHAT.SO.EVER.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” YOU’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF 3 SECONDS I CAN’T WITH Y'ALL. AT LEAST THE BOOK HAD SOME BUILD-UP JESUS GEEZUS

Who thought this meadow scene was a good idea, they need to be sent straight to hell. WHY ARE THEY LAYING DOWN LIKE, SIT MAYBE?????? IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL THEY LOOK LIKE DOLLS I HATE IT

The scene where they get out of the car and Edward puts his arm around Bella while Spotlight by Mutemath plays in the background is TOP TIER teen drama bs and I love it. Far and away the best shot in the movie apart from The Baseball Scene(TM).

I will never get over the fact that Edward's bitch ass rats Bella out for already eating when she comes over to meet his family. BE FUCKING COOL EDWARD FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD!!!

Esme is too pure for this world I can’t deal with her, & Emmet waving the knife is my favorite thing in all 5 of these movies

Why tf are Alice and Jasper fucking off doing god knows what in a tree and not helping with dinner like everyone else? Y'all ain't special even Rosalie is helping

Esme talking to Rosalie “Clean this up..now” I LOVE YOU BE MY MOM

Earlier they talk about the fact that vampires don’t sleep BUT the first thing Bella says when she walks into Edward's room is “no bed” girl we know what you after you ain't slick.....

WHAT IS THIS DANCING SCENE IN HIS BEDROOM IT’S HORRIBLE TO WATCH and I want to find whoever thought “well I could always make you” was a good line for Edward to say and slap them directly in the mouth.

“hold on tight spider monkey” excuse me while I VOMIT

Mike offering his opinion on Bella dating Edward HOWEVER justified is automatically invalidated by A. his own romantic interest in Bella and B. the fact that he has also know Bella for all of 10 minutes & has no bearing on her personal life whatsoever

THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS THIS MAN HAS BEEN COMING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP THIS IS RED FLAG CITY LIKE BELLA WATCH A TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY OR READ THE NEWS FOR FUCKS SAKE

THIS FRANCHISE HAS THE MOST HORRIBLE KISSING SCENES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN HEAR LITERALLY EVERY BREATH, EVERY AWKWARD PRESS OF LIPS. You're telling me THIS was the best take of this???? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THIS WAS TO FILM

The whole scene when Bella is telling her dad about her date with Edward is absolutely god tier. Charlie snapping the barrel of the shotgun closed, him motioning that he has a halo on, asking her if she still has her pepper spray. BILLY BURKE LIFTED THIS MOVIE UP AND TRIED SO HARD TO CARRY IT ON HIS BROAD, MUSTACHIOED DAD SHOULDERS, WE STAN

WHERE TO START WITH THE BASEBALL SCENE:

Supermassive Black Hole in the background, Alice going AWF with her pitching, Rosalie getting all pissed when Bella says she's out and Emmett yells "c'mon babe it's just a game" like the puppy dog of a person (vampire?) he is, CARLISLE WEARING A SCARF WHILE PLAYING BASEBALL, I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER FROM JASPERS BAT TRICKS, EMMET AND EDWARDS LAUGH AFTER CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER.

A TRULY IMMACULATE MOVIE SCENE. This scene isn’t long enough

“My monkey man” might be the worst line in this movie, I’m so torn between which one is the worst. Also, I'm just now realizing that this is the second time someone has compared a loved one to some type of monkey and I really don't like it.

Bella's defeated “I can’t hurt him” breaks my heart every time. AND FUCKING BILLY BURKE pulling out his acting chops with Charlie’s poor little broken sounding “I know I’m not that much fun to be around we can do more stuff together” & “I just gotcha back” LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HURTS ME ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

I know I've skipped over a lot but it's just a lot of like star wipe level montage of nonsense, so we are mOVING ON to what is possibly the biggest plot hole I've never recognized before now: How in the hell was James planning on luring Bella out if he didn’t find that videotape of Bella's mom looking for her????? Or was he just going to bust up in the holiday inn, metaphorical guns blazing & toss Bella out a window???

This fight scene between James & Edward is VERY poorly choreographed and you can practically see the stunt wires pulling on their clothes but no one is surprised..this is Twilight after all.

Who the fuck starts the fire in the ballet studio if Carlisle & Edward are with Bella, Jasper and Emmet are holding James's arms and Alice is ripping his head off???? Esme and Rosalie aren't there so the only explanation is that Emmett's power Stephanie never told us about is his ability to start small, controlled, indoor bonfires with his mind.

If Bella was losing blood from her femoral artery it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she would have been cognizant enough to tell them her hand was burning + THERE’S A BIG ASS BITE HOW DID THEY MISS IT???

Let Me Sign is such a good fucking song. Actually, while we're on music every song on every Twilight Saga soundtrack SLAPS. At least 1 department at Summit Entertainment was staffed with competent people. (side note, why the fuck do I know the studio by name that made this movie. I need to go lie down)

Bella acting a damn fool in the hospital bed like clingy much

CHARLIE IS SUCH A GOOD DAD FUCK!

The Edward/Jacob beef is so dramatic at prom can you both chill for 5 minutes we haven't even gotten to y'alls bullshit yet that's not until New Moon.

Bella really thought this mfer was gonna turn her at prom in the middle of the dancefloor??????????

Flightless Bird American Mouth. That's it, that's the bullet point

Victoria coming to prom, like we stan a dramatic bitch.

I will almost CERTAINLY post my New Moon (Extended Edition) notes in a few days. & yes I do have notes on the entire franchise.

#I had a lot more but I cut it down #a lot of my extra stuff was just talking about RPatz slipping inexplicably into a Spanish accent from time to time #no one seems to notice #but I fucking do #I hear the way he says 'so you're worried' and want to caCKLE OUT LOUD #I'm not nearly as funny as I think I am but ask me if I give a fuck #baby I will subject you to my poor humor #Twilight #Twilight Saga

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timerainseternal · 4 years

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Who’s your favorite character of tua and why

I enjoy most of the characters in Umbrella Academy, but my favorite is Five! As for why, there are a lot of reasons, but I think, writing-wise it's because I don't know what he will do at any given moment, but I trust where he's going. This is a difficult balance to pull off, but I'll try to explain exactly what I mean and why I feel that way.

Firstly, I don't know what he'll do, which makes him interesting to watch. He's full of contradictions in many ways, he's very resourceful, and he's written as someone who is extremely smart. (Though another thing I find interesting is that unlike with many other "genius" characters, intelligence--as in knowledge or ability like with his scribbling-on-the-walls math--isn't his primary trait, at least not to me. Before that I would say that he is at least determined, as well as resourceful in a way that isn't linked strictly to book smarts. Instead, he's driven on sustained desperation that "geniuses" never seem to get in media, and even though he's so smart and generally competent, his plans often or always fail, which I actually made a whole post about. Even further, we know he's 58, so his knowledge is based not only on natural ability, but also a lot of work and time, which is also not the general presentation. We know he's smart, but figuring out time travel took him a whole lifetime.) Anyway, even his power set is...fluidly defined. I don't know what plans he will make, or what side effects will follow--only that, based on past experience, side effects will follow. As such, I'm very entertained watching him constantly pivoting and coming up with new ideas and plans, especially since I think he gets more plot turns than anyone else in the series, or at least is a more active force in those turns.

His choices also showcase the desperation that is at the core of him, and the moral greyness that comes from it. He's not bound by normal considerations like most of the others are; often, he doesn't even consider them. What might be off-limits to others isn't off-limits to him (which is like his powers in a funny kind of way). But really, it all stems from the fact of having lost everything with his 45-year stint in the apocalypse and the loneliness that comes from that. It's an interesting philosophical thought experiment. What are morals in a dead world? What are a few thousand people compared to the end of humanity? What are we if everything else gets stripped away?

And for Five, the answer is not in the violence we've seen him commit, but instead the love he shows. He was presented as a prickly genius who is smarter than everyone and knows everything (like he says to Allison in ep 1) and who is also a time-travelling assassin hardened by decades in a wasteland. We expect competence, cold calculation, and a near-complete lack of empathy. But then we meet Dolores, and we learn that he's doing everything for his family, and we see that everything he does is for love of other people. Specific other people, sure, but love nonetheless. And he isn't cool about it, isn't aloof; he's lost it all before, and he's desperate, and nothing he does--despite what most shows tell you about geniuses--really fixes any problem completely, and especially not the relationships that got broken when he left.

Yet even despite all that, he's also predictable in a way that lets me trust him. Obviously, as an audience, we see how pressing and devastating the apocalypse is. It's the end. Yet none of the other characters understand that the way we do, or the way Five does. His ultimate goal is to stop that from happening and protect his family, and given his life experience, I know that there is nothing that will stop him as long as he's around. I trust that his character will make decisions towards an end goal that I agree with as the audience, and that as long as that remains true, I know that even if I don't know where he's going with a plan, I can at least trust his intent. Even with the Commission, where he worked as an assassin and presumably murdered innocents, the end goal is great enough that it makes sense. Moreover, though, is that once we see that his motivation is for love and to protect, not from a place of sadism or superiority, and that he will even listen to others to find a less violent workaround (as with Luther in s1), I trust his intentions even more.

That's part of what makes the murder of the Board, and then the aftermath, so interesting: it's a study in contradiction, the urge to be violent and feel seen and effective and successful, contrasted with a sense of guilt and remorse and an understanding that it's not the best version of himself. He's warring with those instincts, but the writers have portrayed him in a way that allows for understanding and sympathy.

For another thing, as I think @the-aro-ace-arrow-ace mentioned, given his unique standing as both 13 and 58, he can't really have a romantic relationship to pull him away like the others can, nor do I think he would if he could, considering the timespan the show tends to give him. He's not really in the mindset for romance at all, and especially not a romance that would distract him from his goals. Not only was Dolores an extension of his own mind for a long time, but also was one he was willing to abandon, first going with the Handler, then again towards the end of season 1. Not only does this make his goals less likely to be swayed from what I, as an audience member, consider to be important, but also romance as the sort of "love at first sight, I will prioritize you over everyone else without any real merit behind it" is always a bit flimsy to me. Maybe I'm a little too aromantic to get it, but I generally find it a bit distracting at best unless done really well. (I did like Raymond and Allison as a couple. I thought that was done really well, where they had time and chemistry and respect for each other, and I enjoyed the time they spent together. It doesn't hurt that Allison is my second favorite, but it stands well even besides that. It's just a good relationship.)

Finally, all of that plays into Five's relationships with others. He isn't good at being a social creature (understandable), yet that's what he values most: his family. He wants to be empathetic--and in many cases he can be--but he's battling his own inability to be understood. He doesn't even fully understand himself in the world he left when he was a child. In a very real sense, he can't do what has become most important to him--not that his siblings are the best role models for communication. It makes sense, then, that he was able to seemingly connect with Reginald. Five wants to connect with the people he missed and felt like he wronged, no matter if he actually was in the wrong or not. He so often gets ignored/misunderstood/considered crazy that even as someone just watching that conversation, it felt cathartic for him to be listened to and taken seriously, even if I think Reginald is the absolute worst and that the best thing for him to do would be to stay dead. Five thought he was being the most rational of his siblings in that supper, but he didn't realize that his biases were as strong or stronger, and just had a different root. His relationships with others are his strongest desire/goal/motivator, but he has such a distorted perception of the way the world works on a daily, interpersonal level and also who he is in that world, that he can't really make it work right, and that's really neat to watch.

In my mind, also, what Five is looking for isn't actually his family from 2019. It isn't even his family from 2002, or at least not just them. I think that what he wants is to be who he was when he left, before he got stuck in the apocalypse. He wants his family because he loves them--I don't doubt that, and I don't want to discredit it--but also because I think in some sense he believes that if he can just be with them again, he can make things the way they used to be, the way he used to be. He's kind of like Luther in that regard, except that Luther is beginning to move on, and Five is stuck in it. The tragedy in this, of course, is that he's the time traveller here, and no matter what time he goes to, his only choice is forwards for himself. He can't go back, even if he reaches the exact moment he left. This, of course, is speculation--or analysis, if we use the kinder term--but I think it shows how much can be read into his character based on his choices and narrative arc, and that in itself is interesting whether it was intended or not.

So, that's an overly long answer to your question! It's Five because I think he's interesting, and I think he's interesting because the writers have backed themselves into a corner where he kind of has to be. I hope that was what you were looking for!

#asks #tua asks

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shan2-d2 · 4 years

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As the garbage fire year of 2020 continues, I have been struggling to find something to fill the Schitt’s-Creek-sized hole in my heart.

Which, come to think of it, replaced the Parks-and-Rec-sized hole in my heart prior to that. I’ve always been a sucker for “soft” television, but with everything going on the world, whatever tolerance I had for heavier fare has disappeared completely. Like, yeah, I’d love to catch I May Destroy You or I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, but I just. Can’t. Handle. Them. Right now, anyway.

I do have some old standards to fall back on-- Bob’s Burgers, The Good Place, The Great British Baking Show, and Kim’s Convenience (bless you, Canada) work just fine. But with so much time at home, I’ve been getting antsy for new, soft, comforting content.

Then I watched Julie and the Phantoms on Netflix.

And I loved it SO. MUCH.

(Warning, since this is a family-friendly show: profanity ahead.)

Which, I have to admit, I’m kind of embarrassed about. Like, look: I fully own up to the fact that my tastes aren’t exactly refined or mature. I’m one of those contemptible “childless millennials”, after all. There are things on my Netflix and Spotify lists that would make film buffs and hipsters cry.

But what I will give myself a pat on the back for is that I’m extremely open-minded when it comes to any sort of art consumption. My tastes are super-varied, and I don’t have the burden of worrying about what is “socially acceptable” for me to watch. I can watch Barry and Fleabag just as happily as I can watch Sarah & Duck (literally, a show for preschoolers that works better than any anti-anxiety medication I’ve tried) and old episodes of Tiny Toon Adventures.

Regardless, there’s embarrassment. Which is not about the fact that it’s a cheesy, High-School-Musical-esque, pre-teen friendly series, actually (... okay, maybe a little), but because the aging freakout is real, my friends. Hitting the “Oh-My-God, I’d-Have-To-Play-the-PARENT” period of your life is fucking rough.

Basically, in the words of Roger Murtaugh... I’m too old for this shit.

But I’m trying to tell myself that 1) Generation Z is delightful and I refuse to feel guilt for appreciating them, 2) god knows we’re all watching Stranger Things without embarrassment, and those kids are, like, twelve, and 3) now that I’m apparently ANCIENT, I’m supposed to stop caring about what other people think.

So: Julie and the Phantoms made my heart grow three sizes and I loved it a whole lot.

Quick synopsis: Julie, our hero, is a performing arts school student who is grieving the death of her mom and unable to continue making/playing music because of it. One day, three ghosts of teenage boys who were in a mid-90’s rock band show up in her garage. They form a new band (insert title of show here) and help Julie rediscover her love of music, while she helps them navigate the afterlife. Bonding occurs, lessons are learned, the power of friendship is discovered, you get the idea.

And okay-- at its surface, it’s family-friendly entertainment, you know? Cute story, funny moments, the music is catchy, the whole cast is super talented (and, hey, can actually play their instruments! Whaddaya know!).

But the CHARACTERS! THE SOFTNESS! THE REPRESENTATION! If this is how young adults are going to written from now on, sign me the fuck up.

First of all, the two female leads of the show are women of color-- Julie (Madison Reyes) is Latinx and her best friend, Flynn (Jadah Marie), is Black. That alone is (sadly, STILL) noteworthy, but I literally wanted to stand on my couch and yell about how wonderfully self-assured, smart, mature, strong, and competent these girls are. Julie, in particular, is just… she’s just so cool, you guys. She never once has to rely on anyone else but herself to get shit done, and she takes responsibility for her own actions. The girl very clearly knows her talent, capabilities, and worth, and PHEW, do we need to see more young women like her on our screens! Like, yes, the boys support her, but they’re complete equals. Julie doesn’t need any male saviors up in this business. She’s got this. I LOVE HER. I SOMEHOW WANT TO BE HER WHEN I GROW UP, EVEN THOUGH SHE’S LIKE HALF MY AGE (oh GOD. I’m so OLD).

In fact, throughout the series, the importance of honesty, respect, and healthy support is repeatedly emphasized. There’s no dependency issues here, and lying of any kind is clearly forbidden. Which I loved, because the whole “teen lying to everyone” storyline has been done to death.

Then there’s the three boys of Sunset Curve-- Luke (Charlie Gillespie), Alex (Owen Joyner), and Reggie (Jeremy Shada), i.e. the messengers of destruction for toxic masculinity. THIS IS THE MALE FRIENDSHIP PORTRAYAL WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR, PEOPLE. They’re so nice to each other! They’re so supportive! They’re tactile, openly emotional, and completely devoid of judgment of any interests or behaviors that don’t follow male social standards. Bless the Age of the Soft Boys, may their reign be unbreakable and everlasting.

Oh, and Alex is openly gay. It’s not just hinted at-- he’s out and proud, with an adorable crush/pre-relationship with a skater boy named Willie (Booboo Stewart). And, apart from a quick mention about Alex’s parents being homophobic, the show pretty much takes the Schitt’s Creek route-- all love and acceptance, with not much of a thing made of his sexuality at all (in fact, there’s enough evidence that none of the boys are completely straight, and I’m here for that, too).

And if all of that isn’t enough of a cuddle to the heart for you, THERE’S MORE:

Julie’s supportive, soft dad

Reggie’s immediate, one-sided bond with Julie’s supportive, soft dad and her brother

Julie and Luke totally have crushes on each other and it’s SO SWEET but completely age-appropriate, good job guys

I’m a sucker for good harmonies and the band HAS ‘EM IN SPADES

Flynn being HBIC the entire series

Julie’s crush Nick being very realistically awkward and dopey in the shadow of Luke’s arms (Nick, dude, lose that HAT, I beg of you)

A surprisingly moving side-plot/song about Luke’s parents

Alex just wanting to dance, and also being a high-key feminist and calling out the others when they slip up

EVERYONE’S JUST SO FUCKING NICE, OKAY

So yeah. Shut up. It’s wonderful and pure, and I WILL TAKE ANY SOFTNESS I CAN GET IN THIS HELL YEAR, WHEREVER I CAN GET IT.

In conclusion, Kenny Ortega can have my entire soul if he wants it, for not only this but also Hocus Pocus and Newsies.

Completely Unnecessary Afterword:

Being old enough to remember 1995-- and, specifically, what was popular that year-- has brought up some important questions regarding the Sunset Curve boys:

We know they died in ‘95, but like… when? Did they get to see Empire Records, for Christ’s sake?! Did they see Casper, because, I mean, they’re basically the Devon Sawas of 2020? Were they spared their contemporaries’ fate of constantly over-quoting Billy Madison and Tommy Boy?

OH MY GOD, DID THEY HAVE AOL SCREEN NAMES, AND WHAT WERE THEY??

What are each of the guys’ favorite song off of Boyz II Men’s “II”? This is possibly the MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION.

Did they die before Jagged Little Pill came out? That would kind of break my heart. Not that I expect Julie to start portraying Alanis-levels of anger/angst, but ‘95 was a YEAR for women in rock. Garbage, Hole, No Doubt, PJ Harvey, The Cranberries, Veruca Salt, Bjork, and countless others-- they all had massive hits that year. I love the idea of Julie and the guys sitting around the garage listening to all of those women for inspiration. Can we have a resurgence of female-led rock bands taking over the charts, please?

On a much more serious note, given where the AIDS crisis was in ‘95, it’s no wonder Alex is a nervous wreck. It’s not really something I expect the show to delve into, but man… getting transported to 2020 might’ve been a bit of a blessing (not that things are great now, but y’know, medical progress).

How in the world did none of them fall victim to the whole “white boys dressing hip-hop” trend back in ‘95? I mean… Clueless got it right. (Wait, did they make it to Clueless??)

youtube

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #blog #netflix #I am old

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solschem · 4 years

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Just thought of a case closed like au where Tommy is basically Conan (important to note that the characters real name is Jimmy, but when he becomes a kid he uses the name Conan)

In the anime some dudes try to kill Jimmy, but it ends up making him a kid and only his inventor/ mad scientist friend knows (I’ll be referring to him as Doc). Because I never have an original thought, Dream is obviously the guy trying to kill him during exile and thinks he’s dead. Everyone else just thinks he’s off in exile or ran away. Now for some situations and dynamics I think might be cool. Also all of these will be anime logic cause it’s based off an anime. It’s all ooc now suffer through my rambles

You know that library scene where Jimmy has to think of a new name? I am absolutely keeping that it’s an requirement. Tommy finds Techno’s house and Techno discovers him in the attic. Tommy ends up backed against the bookshelves and sees the Iliad and Odyssey, and so when asked for his name he says Homer.

If Techno doesn’t realize it’s Tommy it would be like Richard and Conan, but if Richard was actually competent. Tommy might try to lead techno towards his and l’manburgs enemies. Techno would definitely notice, but he cares about the kid and entertains the thoughts until he realizes that there might be a point

honestly i just want to see techno doing his usual stuff and Tommy ends up following along. Most of the time causing trouble for techno, but sometimes he thinks something kinda pog and joins in on whatever destruction techno is doing (i know this makes techno one of those anime villains that occasionally team up for the greater good, but like that’s the point. Case Closed is an anime with the biggest case of anime logic like it’s the only way. Our favorite pig has to be reduced to this I’m sorry not sorry)

Also I know that a competent Richard just wouldn’t be Richard but shhhhh let me have this

If Techno does realize he’s Doc. Like that inventor dude is perfect. Just tosses Tommy some potions and golden apples. Mainly lets him do his own thing, but as they get closer helps out a little. Definitely gives Tommy maxed out netherite armor practically immediately.

Honestly whether Techno knows or not he’s still like Doc, but I think if he doesn’t know then he’s going to be a little more like Richard.

Dynamic with Phil could go in 3 main ways

Phil instantly knows because he’s immortal and has seen everything. He does some research to figure out how to turn him back, but he’s not too bothered and is in no hurry. Just mainly laughs and makes fun of him, especially if Techno doesn’t know. (Once Tubbo and Ranboo adopt Michael he takes the opportunity to bother Tommy and runs with it. Just sends him off for a playdate or comparing the two when Tommy does something childish)

Phil doesn’t know but has seen this before. He eventually finds out and laughs about it, but techno would probably already know. Very similar to the first one, but shock value. I think it would be really funny

Phil doesn’t know and didn’t think it was possible. Maximum shock value and maybe some emotive wings thing here. Techno most likely knows, but would also be funny if he didn’t. Just the child that’s been living in his home is actually one of the dudes that betrayed him. (I think it would go with if Phil was the one to find him in the attic when he said the fake name. Just techno already knows and is slightly freaking out and Tommy just giving the worst name ever. Phil would definitely know that something is up, but he trusts Techno.)

Butcher Army things

Just doesnt happen for plot reasons, which is valid but come think of the drama and angst

If they come before Tommy is there then honestly it’s just the same plot, but Techno is even more cautious of Tommy, especially if he does know he’s Tommy. But also imagine he comes home from nearly being killed, and a random child he’s never met is there. He knows that Homer isn’t his real name, but he’s too tired to care and he’s not so heartless as to leave a kid out to die. No deal or partnership is made, just Tommy being told not to steal anything and to make himself useful. Basically just treated like Edward and allowed to exist in the same space.

If they come while Tommy is there we know that Tommy won’t just stay hidden. He might get spotted in a window, he might rush out, he might be outside when they come, or my personal favorite

As they’re taking techno away he might grab a bunch of random potions and weapons and run after them. Would most likely be caught and used as a hostage, but I bet people would be a lot more uncomfortable with a kid as the hostage (might even make some people second guess about l’manburg). But what if he is successful, and Techno is saved by a little Tommy/Homer. But what if Techno sees a random kid he doesn’t know show up with his own potions and spare weapons and helps him escape. It would be the greatest thing ever with Techno’s ultimate equivalency thing. He owes this kid a favor, which could lead to techno being more active in finding out what happened to Tommy.

The library scene still happens cause it’s a requirement, but it happens after everything with the butcher army. So this either smooths over the whole thing of him actually being Tommy, or Techno doesn’t press on being told an obviously fake name. Either way techno would let him stay, but imagine the hijinks if techno doesn’t know

imagine the angsty moment when techno realizes that ‘Homer’ knows more about what’s happening to Tommy than he’s letting on and Techno gets frustrated and yells at him about if he really wants to find Tommy and the truth comes out

True Case Closed fashion would have some complicated plan to withhold his identity but this is Tommy and Technoblade we’re talking about. Without massive outside help that wouldn’t be happening, and even then it would just make Techno even more suspicious

Scenario for if techno doesn’t know: he notices how similar ‘Homer’ and Tommy act and wonders out loud how old Tommy is. While he knew that Tommy was young, he didn’t think that Wilbur would have child fight in multiple wars and be vice president. Cue Tommy being flabbergasted

I know that has fix-it fic vibes but they exist for a reason. Let me imagine conflict resolution in peace

Imagine all the complications on people trying to figure out how Techno knows ‘Homer’

Crackfic style: When Tommy is asked why his name is Homer he in a panic tells people that his father really liked Greek Mythology. With all of Techno’s mythology references and Tommy being around him a lot people think Techno is his dad.

The confusion, the misunderstanding. Phil congratulating techno and confronting on not being told, Phil knowing and laughing at the ridiculousness.

Makes the most sense with if Techno already knows, but if he doesn’t he would probably have a talk on how he’s flattered, but that he shouldn’t be a father and blah blah blah. Maybe a talk about being equals? idk this is already in crackfic area it doesn’t make sense

People think they’re brothers. Honestly a lot of different ways this could happen, but would still be funny.

Nephew!!!!! Would honestly be less likely to be disputed by Techno, but he probably still wouldn’t be a huge fan of it. Might follow after the dad rumor as who else would be that into mythology than Techno’s family?

Family friend’s kid. Probably the cover story and where they end up with, but leaves a lot of room for speculation. What family? Who would trust him with a child? Is he just trying to hide his true relation? I view dsmp as basically a soap opera and by god I will make it even more of one

Most likely: a combination of everything. everyone has a different idea and no one knows the truth.

If Tubbo was the one to know he would be the tech guy, but not like Doc was. He would be fully involved in helping Tommy get back to normal

Phil might find out if Tubbo asks suspicious questions

Tommy would get a front row seat to Tubbo and Ranboo getting married and he would be happy for them but would not stop complaining

People might think Tubbo is grieving by helping out a kid that acts a lot like Tommy

When confronted on where the kid came from he might mention how he told Jschlatt that he was pregnant and how could everyone else forget?

Honestly ghostbur might bring that up and they just roll with it

When Michael comes around will absolutely tell Tommy to go “play with his brother”. Would be kinda similar to Phil with teasing Tommy about that, but more exaggerated. People might find out due to the teasing

Ranboo

insert the million ways he can find out due to techno or tubbo

He moves in after doomsday and figures it out by ‘Homer’s’ mannerisms

Maybe he sees Tommy become a kid and comes to the conclusion that the only place safe is with Phil, which leads to Techno basically taking care of him

Would be so awkward but imagine the begging and explaining. Doesn’t make sense in terms of the smp but anime logic

Butcher army drama intensified as Tommy is captured. Would fight whoever tries to hurt Tommy.

If we go with true case closed style Tommy would secretly pass supplies to Ranboo, who secretly passes them to Techno with some dramatic speech and a soccerball, but that doesn’t quite fit here.

Might have Tommy stay at his L’manburg house and it all goes terribly. They eventually go to Techno’s together cause i like the plot line

In this case Tommy might find out about Ranboo unknowingly being involved with Dream

Would put Tommy in charge of watching over Michael when the syndicate comes to snowchester

If Tommy shows up when he’s already moved in it would be extremely complicated to explain but I don’t think they’d mind all that much? Techno wouldn’t like him stealing his stuff, but it’s less aggravating when it’s a child who probably had to steal to live. And anyways they took in Ranboo, who is basically a kid in need, and so how can they get mad at Ranboo for doing the same? Techno and Phil would let them be with the occasional offer to bring food, or let them stay while Ranboo makes an actual house

Tommy is probably there when the disc is found and there’s a whole range of scenarios to do there take your place

During Techno and Ranboo’s adventure for sponges and totems Phil would offer to watch Tommy.

Insert what happened with Rachel almost figuring it out, but Phil isn’t fooled. He responded to the name Tommy and the signs are there. He has a long talk with Ranboo and Tommy about what’s happening when he gets back

Ranboo would absolutely try to pull off complex plans to get people not to notice, but because it’s Ranboo they believe him or ignore it. Tubbo would definitely press a lot more than others, but I don’t think Ranboo would break. He has no moral backbone but this isn’t for him to tell.

Insert Tommy in a panic tells the syndicate his dad liked Greek mythology and Techno makes the comment of him not knowing that Ranboo liked mythology too. Phil would make the joke too, not mattering if he knows or not

Michael

Just thinks Tommy/Homer is fun to be around.

They get into trouble together, especially if Ranboo and Tubbo don’t know he’s Tommy.

If they do know he’s Tommy they’re pissed

Craziness for who knows about Tommy and/or Michael

Tommy and Techno are worried/and or suspicious about Ranboo so one day they follow and find out about Tubbo and Michael. The syndicate checking out snowchester is so much more comical as Techno pretends not to know.

Circle of secrets as Phil, Ranboo, and Tommy knows about Tubbo and Michael. Only Techno and Tommy know that ‘Homer’ is Tommy. Tommy is the only one who knows everything and absolutely holds it over techno’s head. Everyone knows that something is up, but asking would mean reveling their secret as well

yes this is the most anime like scenario that’s why im bringing it up

Phil would be most likely to just casually drop Tommy off with Michael. Techno might if push comes to shove. Tubbo would do so momentarily. Ranboo wouldn’t want to, but might end up doing it the most because he’s worried about people hurting Michael.

Now what makes this like Case Closed is the attempt to get Tommy back to normal

aka it barely exists

Conan becomes normal momentarily a few times but then gets back to being a kid. It just keeps on going. The show is still running.

There’s this attempt to go after Dream but it never really works, Dream might never find out. He somehow ends up in the prison anyways and still nothing happens

It’s just frustrating and nothing ever really happens we’re just all suffering

#tommyinnit #technoblade #ranboo #dsmp #my post #dedicated scroller #high effort #this took so long #ive literally been writing this all day #i put way too much effort into this #but i hope people enjoy #just remember that this is completely ooc #like thats the point

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1863-project · 4 years

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I’m at the end of my first-ever Omega Ruby run, and I’ve honestly had a great time getting to know Hoenn. I just have to evolve some Pokemon and catch the Regis and Deoxys before I move along (I’m waiting to trade with folks to finish the Dex properly, but I can do that at any point), but I think it’s worth doing a retrospective on the characters and Pokemon I met along the way.

As a region, Hoenn is unique in that it has a LOT of water routes. You spend a large portion of the second half of the game traveling via Surf. The Azumarill in my party, Pikablue, ended the game knowing Waterfall, Surf, and Dive (it also carries Play Rough), and it was one of the most crucial members of my party for transport purposes.

When I won the Hoenn League, the team May (named ‘Hatshepsut’ in my playthrough because we love cool historical figures in this house) had with her was her evolved starter, a Blaziken named Cluck You, along with Pikablue the Azumarill, Pangaea the Groudon, Charles II the Shiftry, Friendo the Latios, and the team anchor, Bastet the overleveled Skitty. I beat Steven because Bastet dodged a Zen Headbutt from Metagross and gave me the time I needed to revive both Blaziken and Groudon in the back, and their fire moves handled the rest. Bastet went on to become the first party member to reach level 100, way ahead of everyone else. She was absolutely incredible and I love her. Her final moveset: Heal Bell (surprisingly useful, especially in Doubles), Thunder, Ice Beam, and Play Rough. She’s a Dragon Slayer.

As soon as I got my hands on the Eon Flute I started running around to check every Mirage location that came up in the hopes that it would be a Mirage Cave. I knew that was where Tynamo was, and I needed Eelektross to complete the Submas team I was building (the other nine members are in SwSh at the moment; Eelektross will hopefully someday join them). On November 30th, my persistence paid off, and I went and caught three Tynamos so I could have the entire evolutionary line in my National Dex in Pokemon HOME. As it turns out, Eelektross still hasn’t been added to HOME because Third Rail has become a vital member of my party in postgame and I love him and he loves me. (I’m just Emmet, really.) The Eon Flute is also really nice in that using it allows you to literally fly in real time over the entire region, and I prefer doing that to using Fly because it’s just so aesthetically nice. Friendo just swoops down and picks me up, and we have a nice time exploring together. It’s especially pretty at night when everything is all lit up. It’s a lovely little feature exclusive to Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, and it’s so great.

Character-wise, Hoenn has produced some notables. Magma and Aqua are two of the most beloved villain teams in the entire franchise, and the reboots gave them so much more personality and gave the leaders and admins some excellent updated designs. (Years ago, when the remakes were first released, my dash was filled to the brim with Hardenshipping.) I had OR, so I had Magma to contend with, and one of the single most entertaining things in the entire game is Maxie’s losing animation. It’s perfect, it suits his character so well, and it’s just really funny. Also, shout-out to the Team Magma grunt that I met in the Extremely Obvious Hideout who told me how proud he was of kicking his soda habit whilst standing next to the vending machines. I love that guy. In terms of reformation, Magma and Aqua come around very easily when they realize that they’ve had a very bad idea - they ultimately were well-intentioned but made a really horrible mistake and set out to set things right (with the player’s help, of course). It ultimately makes both teams very likeable.

In terms of other characters, not every Gym Leader from Hoenn is a complete standout, but a few are very, very popular. Flannery is a perfect time capsule of 2003 fashion and I love that so much, and I don’t think I need to say much about Wallace. He’s just Wallace. He’s so freaking entertaining. Steven is also a very popular Champion, and he plays a pretty big role in the plot, so you see a lot of him throughout the game. (He and Wallace are also a very popular ship, with Originshipping - named for the Cave of Origin which Wallace has to grant you access to - actually being referenced in Pokemon Masters on, of all days, Valentine’s Day. Make of this what you will, but I’m here for it.) The Gym Leaders all received redesigns as well, with a lot of them benefiting greatly from it - I like Roxanne’s new school uniform so much better than her old one, for example, and once again, Wallace outshines everyone with an ensemble that would go wonderfully at the Coney Island Mermaid Parade. I wish we got to know the Gym Leaders a bit more as people, because they don’t get to stand out as characters as much. Galar actually did this very well by allowing us a lot of interactions with the Leaders outside the Gyms and as teammates and rivals in the Galarian Star Tournament. A big part of the reason Wallace is so popular as a Gym Leader here is that you see him outside the Gym multiple times and can even compete with him in Contests. You get to know him as a person more and not just as the eighth Gym Leader, and it makes him a much more interesting character.

In short, here’s how the League stacks up for me:

Roxanne: Benefited massively from her character redesign, which gives her a lot more personality. Would like to see her and Steven interact since they’re apparently friends, which I imagine revolves around going out and licking rocks together or whatever geologists do with their geologist friends.

Brawly: He still isn’t very distinct. He’s a surfer who trains Fighting-types, which is a bit of a subversion since you’d expect Water-types from someone like that, but nothing about him really pops for me.

Wattson: Gives off Grandpa Vibes. Wattson actually gets a lot of expository development via his work on New Mauville and Sea Mauville, where you find out he halted the projects to protect the Pokemon ecosystems in both locations. A lot of employees were angry about this and he was even investigated briefly for stopping the projects, even being called a traitor to the company (which appeared to overwork its employees and prevent them from unionizing), but it was apparently evidently clear that he did things out of environmental concerns, and the employees were able to find work on other projects elsewhere. This actually slots nicely into the themes of the game involving environmentalism and how to ensure the livelihoods of people and nature both.

Flannery: Time capsule from 2003! I was, of course, around in 2003 (I turned 14), and Flannery was at the peak of fashion back then. Flares were in, and I miss that trend so much. For that alone, she’s one of my favorite Gym Leaders in this generation, but I also appreciate that she’s shown trying to find her footing and figure out who she is instead of pretending to be someone else. There’s a certain performative aspect to being a Gym Leader, but it needs to come naturally from them and be an extension of their own personality, not be artificial. I would, however, love to know who her grandfather is. It’s still never been confirmed. (As a side note, a lot of people headcanon her to be Kabu’s niece, since he’s from Hoenn, which is cute.)

Norman: A Dad. More specifically, the player character’s dad. There’s really nothing that stands out about him except for that damn Slaking, which gives a lot of people trouble. I did, however, appreciate the conversation he had with Wally’s father as Wally and the player character departed together, because I’m actually pretty close to my own father (who I’m very similar to in many aspects). I’m 31 years old and I still get emotional every time my parents tell me they’re proud of me. Notably, Norman is the only player character father we have ever seen in Pokemon, though, which is odd.

Winona: In-game, she doesn’t feel like she has much of a personality, although she goes off on aesthetics pretty well. It just weirds me out that that’s her hair coming out from under the helmet and not wings attached to it. She could have been really cool but she gets the short end of the development stick.

Tate and Liza: The two of them intentionally playing up the ‘weird twins’ angle by completing each other’s sentences actually comes across really cutely because they’re kids. You can also run into them in the Lilycove Department Store being children and buying toys, a good reminder that they’re still very young and evidently very skilled for their ages. Battle-wise, my Azumarill knew Surf by this point so I ended things quickly because I’m into Doubles as it is and like using spread moves when I can.

Wallace: I’ve discussed him a lot above, so I don’t need to say much else, but he really is the most notable Gym Leader in the region, and not just because he’s the last one you face. He has a lot of personality and development, you meet him outside the Gym several times, his niece Lisia is also out and about in the game and the family resemblance is notable, and you find an old magazine in Sea Mauville featuring a woman on the cover who looks like Lisia - likely Wallace’s older sister, Lisia’s mother. The entire family gets more development than a lot of the other Gym Leaders in this region.

Sidney: The first member of the Elite Four you face...I’d actually like to know more about him. He seems like an interesting person, and I personally enjoy Dark-types myself so I always appreciate seeing Dark-type users not being portrayed as evil. His upbeat nature is nice, and it’s a pleasant surprise to run into him at the Battle Resort, even if he was only there to track down Steven.

Phoebe: I love how much her appearance contrasts with her Pokemon typing. She’s a Ghost-type trainer and you’d never guess that from her outfit! Her grandmother is the old woman on Mt. Pyre, which is why Phoebe has an affinity for Ghost-Types, and I’d love to see more interactions involving them together. You can run into Phoebe on Mt. Pyre after you beat the League and talk to her briefly - she was likely visiting her grandmother - but sadly she doesn’t get much development outside of that.

Glacia: An Ice-type trainer who we learn next to nothing about. Glacia is mentioned outside of the context of the Elite Four by an NPC in the Mauville Food Court who says she was slurping down ramen so intensely that she broke a sweat, but that’s all we know about her aside from that she’s originally from a different region, and she tells us that herself. Not very memorable.

Drake: Yet another Dragon trainer late in the game, and not one of the more notable ones. Lance and Clair are remembered for being cousins and for being the first Dragon trainers you really come across in the series, and later Dragon-type trainers like Iris (who becomes Champion of Unova in B2W2) and Raihan are carried by their personalities and distinct looks. Drake is just an old sea captain with Dragon-types, and he doesn’t really jump out at me much either.

Steven: A major player in the plot - one of the most active Champions we’ve had in the franchise - and a perpetually popular character. I never minded running into Steven out and about in Hoenn, even if it meant I’d have to listen to an infodump about rocks, and his Champion battle was actually fairly difficult for the team I brought in despite having two team members with Fire-type attacks to handle the Steel. As I mentioned above, it was my Skitty that made the decisive dodge to allow me to bring in the team member I needed to deliver the final blow, meaning this is now the second time in my life I’ve beaten the Champion with an unevolved house cat. (Rick Pratt the Purrloin is a vital member of my beloved Young Ones Galar Championship Team.) Overall, Steven’s a very likeable Champion, and I did enjoy the little detail of the rocks on display in his home - he has them labeled so you can see where he found them, and they’re from every region featured in the games up to that point.

Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire also have the Delta Episode, which features Rayquaza (which you’re forced to catch) and a character named Zinnia, who isn’t in RSE at all and is new to ORAS. Besides being named after my favorite flower, Zinnia’s personality is actually very interesting because although she comes across as cheery it’s clear she feels the weight of a massive responsibility and that the cheeriness is covering a lot of pain. Her Whismur named Aster is evidently named after someone important to her who is no longer around, and it’s never revealed in-game who the original Aster was. Whoever Aster was, though, Zinnia misses her deeply. In a 2015 interview, Ohmori Shigeru stated that the original Aster was the person who held the position of Lorekeeper before Zinnia, but we don’t know anything more than that - a shame, really, because that makes for some interesting backstory.

Overall, I had a lovely time in Hoenn, and I’ll be moving on to Kalos in the next few weeks once I finish up this Dex business first. I just wish I got to get to know so many of the characters I’ve met a little better, but I adore the team I put together and I’m super proud of them and all they’ve accomplished.

#Pokemon #Omega Ruby #ORAS #Hoenn #Hoenn Retrospective

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deltaengineering · 4 years

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Winter Anime 2020 Reviews: brought to you by quarantine

aw shit look who’s got the time to do some of these again yeah that’s right it’s me

22/7

For 11/12 of its runtime this was an astonishingly forced exercise in hacky tragic backstory that thoroughly answers the question of what happens when assembly line jobbers jump on the already rickety KyoAni bandwagon. So I was ready to give it a well deserved meme score of 3.14/10. Then it remembered it actually had a gimmick and managed to completely fail at that as well, with one of the most thematically misguided endings I can think of. Oh well, if nothing else I laughed. 2/10

Asteroid in Love

Well, it’s competent and inoffensive. What else can I say? I guess it’s pretty amusing how blatant the gay marriage implications get by the end, but that’s not really, you know, quality all by its own (and Harukana Receive does it better). It’s also weird how its first season clearly ends at episode 9 and it just quickly does a second one in the time it has left. Apart from that it’s a slightly above-average Kiraralike with good character moments but a real drought of content (note: dropping exposition on your topic isn’t content) in the middle. Fun enough, but really doesn’t leave me wanting more. 6/10

Dorohedoro

This had much potential to suck but then it didn’t. The biggest surprise was that Dorohedoro is a comedy; a splatter comedy with a core story worth taking seriously, yes, but this is not horror, or mystery, or even action, even if it has all those elements at points. And it manages to be consistently funny. The other big surprise is that the nonsense really does start to come together and is meaningful where it counts, so it has much better worldbuilding than most. Looks really good too - you might take exception to the CG, but it allowed MAPPA to make the rest look great so it’s overall still a plus. Definitely needs a sequel though, because the plot seems to just get started and then it ends like there’s an episode next week. 8/10

ID: INVADED

Ei Aoki’s Inception fanfic turned out very nice, with neat visuals, cool characters and a story that comes together in the end. I mean, come on, it’s an anime where Kenjiro Tsuda literally talks people to death, how can I not like it. It’s not perfect; it’s stuck with some pacing problems, strangely superfluous side characters and ultimately less ambition than it could (maybe even should) have. But it’s also weird in a good way and moderately thoughtful without being pretentious about it. 8/10

If My Favorite Pop Idol Made It to the Budokan, I Would Die

Romantic comedy? Eh, maybe not quite. Funny riffing on wota dumbassery without being mean-spirited about it? Yep. Oshibudo gets the tone (the critical aspect in a show like this) right and it actually ranks fairly high simply as an idol show when that’s not even the point, which is really surprising. It’s just very charming, even if a little simple. 8/10

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

So everyone’s losing their shit over how great Eizouken is and I’m just like nah, man. Not that it’s truly bad, it certainly has its fun moments and undeniably cool animation at times. But it really says a lot when in a show supposedly all about how amazing creativity is, the no-fun-allowed producer is the only character I like - Kanamori is indeed great, shame about Nerdlinger and Plot Device though. And it’s full of the kind of standard boomer animation bromides that just make me think “well, if Ghibli is supposed to be so great, why am I watching this instead of the real thing?” It also has notably poor and uncreative use of background music, which wouldn’t irk me as much if it wasn’t lecturing on the topic. At this point I’m fairly certain that I simply don’t like Yuasa’s style much, no matter what he does. 6/10

Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story

So I’m watching the “final” episode of this and I realize that I care about this random, poorly explained fanservice fight between Mami and Sayaka much more than I care about any of the characters this show is ostensibly about. And that’s pretty much Magireco in a nutshell: It has very little of its own, what it does have is split among way too many video game characters, and it’s at its best when it’s just being dumb and bombastic or lazily replicating the style of Madoka. It’s definitely not good (and the things it does to the Madoka lore are double ungood), but as long as you keep in mind that it’s just meaningless Madoka-ish things, it’s barely entertaining enough. 5/10

Natsunagu!

Natsunagu turned out to be a pleasant (if very cheap) short film that’s severely compromised by broken up into weekly 3-minute chunks. Episodes that short can work, but not for material that depends on atmosphere and character engagement. I can only assume I’d like it more if I watched it all in one go. 5/10

Science Fell in Love, So I Tried to Prove It

This one started out as a one-note romantic comedy with the rare novel note, which then got more and more tired as it went on, and the introduction of decidedly less novel characters didn’t help. But by the end it recovered somewhat from not being much good at comedy anymore by being actually pretty good at paying off a romance, which is maybe even rarer. Remove bear though, what the hell. 6/10

Somali and the Forest Spirit

Somali just kept doing its thing (which is dadfeels/protect the blob). Still can’t think of another show so intensely laser-focused on that one thing, to the point they’re constructing an entire fantasy universe around it. I liked the fluffy/introspective parts a lot more so than the grimdark/”let’s get Somali into some danger so dad can rescue her” ones, but at least the former ones are more common overall, and I understand that both are important for the other one to work. So yeah, good show, even if I wish it used the big guns less often. 7/10

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

I wasn’t too hot on this one at first (apart from the looks, which were always really cool), but I have to say it has won me over by the end. It has likeable and occasionally funny characters, some meat to its setting and a mildly interesting streak of intrigue running though it. Of course it also doesn’t really answer anything, but I’m satisfied. 7/10

Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki S2

Peer pressure presents: the other tourism short of the season, ft. material that fits the format. While it’s still not really good, it’s an improvement over S1. Mainly because it stops trying to extract humor from the characters themselves and gets back to dropping the hot #nagoyatruths, which are the thing I’m here for. 6/10

#anime #review #winter2020 #22/7 #asteroid in love #dorohedoro #id:invaded #oshibudo #eizouken #magia record #natsunagu #science fell in love so i tried to prove it #somali and the forest spirit #toilet-bound hanako-kun #yatogame-chan #nagoyatruths

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cookiedoughmeagain · 4 years

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Haven DVD Commentaries: 5.06 - The Old Switcheroo II

Commentary with Adam Copeland (who play Dwight) and Adam Higgs (writer on Haven though not for this episode).

Adam Copeland: Ah, beautiful Lunenberg. And I think that’s Chester. Adam Higgs: So when was this, I think this was one of the earlier episodes. We did 26 episodes last year, so we started in … July? AC: No, we started in April. AH: Right, so this would be …? AC: June? AH: Yeah June maybe, because this was the third block. AC: I remember it was starting to get warm by this point. AH: Because it was snowing when you guys were there. AC: Yeah. And it ended and it was snowing again. AH: It book ended everything. AC: Here’s how I related to it is, it was in the hockey play offs when we got out there and then it was back in the hockey season by the time we were leaving. And that’s when I know it’s been a long time. AH: That’s a while.

[As body swapped Nathan and Duke are talking on the balcony outside Audrey’s apartment] AH: Gotta love this. This is one of my favourite scenes. Any time you’ve got the characters together. We were watching the dailies of these and laughing. And some of the stuff they were saying to each other; Lucas and Eric behind the scenes was fun too. Like, ‘What was that you were doing?’ / ‘You do that thing.’ / ‘I don’t do that!’ AC: Yeah. ‘I don’t do that?!’ / ‘No, you do do that.’ And it’s interesting too just to be taking on someone’s traits or their character’s traits in front of them because, as you say, they might not even know that they do it. AH: So true. And I think there were some times where it was either Lucas or Eric did something and then, they just couldn’t continue the scene - someone broke into laughter. It was so much fun. We’d put these on at the end of the day in the writers’ room through the course of the whole episode because we were just having so much fun watching this stuff. AC: It was fun to perform. It was a lot of fun, and to watch everyone else do their portrayal of the other. *Both descend into laughter for the rest of the scene* AC: Look at them walk. AH: Our teasers are usually fraught with peril, and people dying … AC: Yeah, and that ended with a double strut. AH: Fantastic stuff. It really sets the tone. It’s like you were saying in the last commentary, even though things are tense (and we get very tense by the end of this episode), there’s still time for humour and fun and comedy. AC: Well, any story there has to be those dips and moods or swells, and I think this is a swell of fun before you go down the wave.

[As Vince and Dave are outside the house in Manteo] AH: And here’s a nice scene where it’s funny that they’re in different bodies and everything, but at the same time this is some heavy mythology that we’re dropping in about the whole origins of the Teagues. AC: Yeah and scenes where there’s so much information to divulge can sometimes be an interesting challenge, because you want it to be interesting without just being all info, info, info. And I’m sure is a challenge as a writer as well. How do we make that something that people will listen to but it’s also interesting and not overwhelming. AH: Yeah, it’s a line we straddle. Where we don’t want to be expository but we want everyone to be able to follow what we’re saying. At the same time you’re trying to punch it up. So just like you said, it’s not just ‘this is everything we need to say in the scene’ but trying to keep it entertaining, get the point across, but at the same time - because I always feel bad because sometimes, you’ll be in a scene and it’s like, ‘This sucks because in the original version of the scene we wrote, Dwight had a bunch of jokes but then the script comes in we have to cut pages down and all of a sudden all of those cool lines are gone, and you’re basically just saying exposition. We really really try not to do that because we want everybody to have something from character to do in a scene. But yeah it’s difficult. And on a show; on a genre show, on a detective show, there’s always scenes where you have to get that stuff in. AC: Yeah, where there has to be the information. And it needs to be put out there in order for everyone to follow. But it’s also a good challenge too, because you have to figure out a way to get all of that information across and still make it fun. AH: Yeah. You guys do a great job of it, and that’s the thing on every show that I’ve worked on there’s always different actors that you go, ‘OK well we’ll give this to them because they’ll be able to sell it for sure.’ We don’t want to do it, but it is sometimes necessary. And we would in some scenes be like, ‘Adam’s got this, we’ll just have to give it to Adam.’ AC: *laughs* Well cool. This was an interesting scene too [Duke in Nathan’s body talking to Dwight in Gloria’s, in the station] because this was one of the first instances where their other characters aren’t there in the room. So this is actually Dwight and Duke [Lucas and Jayne on screen]. AH: It’s so funny when you say that. Because how weird is that. AC: And I think that was the first instance of that. AH: Yes. AC: Because what’s also interesting about that too is, from Gloria’s perspective, or Jayne’s perspective; what it Dwight’s interaction with Duke? They kind of don’t get along. So you have to know the thread of each … AH: Yeah it’s that continuity you were talking about in the last commentary where just trying to remember where you were in the previous episode, where are you now. Because we turn it on a dime a lot of times where it’s like all of a sudden you guys were friends, now you’re enemies, now you’re keeping something from someone. AC: Well, I would have said that Dwight and Duke were the alpha who were much more alike than either one wanted to admit. So they would always butt heads because of that but at the same time, what they both want is the same thing, they just go about it in different ways. AH: Very different ways. AC: Whereas Nathan and Dwight I think would be buddies. They would go about for a beer together. AH: Yes, they would be friends. They would hang out together in their spare times. AC: And eventually, or at times, Dwight and Duke would. AH: Yes. AC: But then at other times they would get in a fight at the bar. AH: And we vacillate back and forth between these extremes. AC: Yeah, which always made it fun too, because that relationship was always so tumultuous. But back to the point of Jayne having to remember what is the relationship. And for Lucas having to remember; Duke and Dwight don’t always see eye to eye. AH: Did Jayne come to you and ask about that? Or did you go to Jayne at all? AC: Well it was interesting, the first scene we had as each other’s characters was outside in front of the Freddy with Nathan. And we were bumping up against it, like ‘We’re not really getting it right yet are we?’ And it took a few takes to go, ‘OK there it is.’ And so Jayne would say, ‘How would Dwight say this?’ And I’d say, ‘Well he’d drop the g. It’d be cuttin’ not cutting.’ And that’s just how, that’s Dwight speak. AH: Oh! That’s excellent! Those little titbits are always neat. It’s such a family on set, it’s great that you guys are comfortable to do that. No one’s trying to take from anyone else. You guys all talk to each other. You know, you hear those stories of actors who don’t talk to each other on set or can’t be in the same scene with another actor. AC: Yeah. It was a great … pot to be able to grow out of. Because we were all, um … watering each other. Hmmm how about that analogy?

[As we see Vince and Dave talking to Allison Doohan] AH: I think Richard and John have known each other for decades. AC: Yeah, both Nova Scotia. Both well entrenched in the scene out there. They worked together on Trailer Park Boys too. So they’ve definitely crossed paths, and to watch their relationship grow on screen having worked with each other more than they probably ever had before. AH: Yeah because I think they used to compete for the same roles. And so now they get to brothers was kind of nice. AC: Yeah and so completely opposite. But both with great comedic timing. Richard can just make something so powerful and dramatic. And John can bring levity to anything. AH: On a dime too. And that’s the nice thing you have, as writers we look at, when you have them in a scene together, you’re able to do both things. AC: Yeah, drop a huge bomb… AH: And then woah, there’s a funny bit. AC: Or a funny bit ... AH: And then such emotional AC: And then Bam! AH: And we’ll get to it actually in this episode there’s a couple of scenes between the two of them where it goes from that levity moment to an incredibly serious, moving heartfelt emotional scene. And those are fun. Having that range and being able to do that. AC: Yeah even just that little look that John just gave there - just the little things that come with experience. I mean they’ve been doing this for so long. AH: And I love that as a writer being able to watch, and the same thing this whole episode with you and Jayne. Like Brian Millikin who was here for the last commentary said; the script is a blueprint and we put a bunch of stuff in there but it’s like building a house. You don’t specify what the colours of the walls are. So being able to see those touches, those things that you can’t really imagine is always fun. And this episode was great for that, just all these little asides and ad libs, nice extra layers of character and stuff that everybody put in there. AC: Well it’s interesting when you put it that way. It’s kind of like, the sketch is there but then it has to be painted in. And as you said, what colour? AH: Yeah, it’s up to you guys, what you want to bring to it. AC: So that’s actually a very interesting way to put it. Well done. AH: Well thank you.

[On screen we see Emily and Eric talking to the nurse outside the Freddy] AH: And this is where we were getting deep. And I remember we were going through this script and we were like, ‘OK. So in this scene, we’ve got Nathan *in Duke’s body* with Mara *pretending to be Audrey* but at the same time Nathan *who is still in Duke’s body* is pretending that he doesn’t know that it’s actually Mara. AC: Yeah, there was a lot to keep track of. And then especially, as I’ve said before, shooting out of continuity. There’s mental gymnastics. AH: And this was more so than for any other season of this show because we were block shooting two episodes at a time. So 505 and 506 are together. So it’s not unrealistic for a day to involve the first scene of episode 505 and then the next scene you’re shooting is the last scene of 506. And you haven’t had that journey but you’ve got to be in a different place completely. AC: Yes, and you have to know what that thread is. And then you could hop back to the 10th scene of 505 and then back to the 24th scene of 506. So it’s … but that’s part of the job, of always being aware of where you came from and also where you’re going too. AH: It’s amazing. Because I don’t think a lot of people at home really know that’s how television is made, is shot out of order. And they’ll be times even when you’re shooting a scene (and this probably happened more this season than any other season) from an earlier episode that we had to hold for a stunt unit or something. And you’d be shooting 9 or 10 episodes down the line and then you’d have to come back and catch it up again. And so it’s like ‘woah I hate this character now’ or ‘I love this character now and I have to go back to that mental place to pull this off’. AC: Yeah. Or a second unit shooting that day and they’re shooting episode 502 and you’re on 515. AH: Yeah. It’s amazing. You guys did a fantastic job with that particular obstacle too. Big credit to you guys. AC: What’s interesting too, and again props to Emily, is that she had to do this tap dance the entire season, and even last season too, of really being aware of all of that and making each character different while also appearing the same. You know there’s subtle differences like the hair and things like that, but it’s still the same face. AH: Yeah, big credit to her. And we were talking about this on another commentary, just even on the table readings where she would sometimes do both sides of a conversation live, and she’s switching character and the voice changes. The writing room is here in LA but everything is shot in Halifax and Chester in Nova Scotia Canada, and we’d look around the table here and we’d be like ‘Is somebody else reading Mara?’ But no, it was Emily. AC: Yeah, she’d drop her voice, everything, even her body language.

[Mara has just been locked in the room in the Freddy with Nathan in Duke’s body] AH: Here we go, very tense. AC: Yes, and that is so un-Audrey. This whole scene; the intensity - fogging up the glass because she’s yelling so intensely. Not Audrey at all. There were times actually during scenes where I’d go ‘Maudrey. Ahh I mean Mara. I mean Audrey.” AH: We had actually talked for this episode specifically about some of the difficulties of, would the audience be able to realise who was who at all times. And we played briefly - very, very briefly - with the idea of a popup on screen to say ‘This is actually Nathan’ or ‘This is actually Duke’. And thankfully we didn’t actually do that but we were just talking about the difficulty of it. AH: Some smart thinking here on Mara’s part. AC: Yep. She’s evil, but she’s smart. AH: And again turning on a dime for Emily here, where she was in panic mode and now she’s serious. Now she’s armed.

[At the train station] AC: This was an interesting scene with Andrew here who played Jeffrey Doohan. When he dove off here, he was legitimately diving into me the first few takes. And really fighting me here, because he wanted it to be realistic. But I was having to fight him so hard that the dialogue would come and it was my dialogue and it was like … ah trying to ... AH: You’re trying to control that. AC: I’m trying to control the fish out of water here. So it finally got to the point where he was saying, ‘I’m trying to be desperate, he’s finally out.’ And I was like, ‘Well, we can *act* that, or I can legitimately pick you up and slam you on the ground, so which would you prefer?’ AH: I know the correct answer to that question by the way. If Adam Copeland ever asks you that question - there is a right answer. AC: And the entire crew started laughing. And poor Andrew. But at this point I didn’t really know him and I was just ‘Dude you’re making this way more difficult than it needs to be. So let’s work together, or we don’t have to.’ And from that point forward he was very easy to work with and a great guy. AH: And it worked out! AC: It did. AH: But that was again very interesting when we were writing it and we realised that you had switched [Adam is playing Gloria at this point]. I remember that lightbulb went off in the room where we were like ‘What happens when someone fires a bullet? How does that work for Dwight, for the first time - he’s so used to bullets coming towards him and now he’s in someone else’s body, and poor Gloria isn’t used to being shot. AC: And as I said in the last commentary, does Gloria know how to use Dwight’s body, or would she be a little bit awkward? And she can stop Jeffrey just because of the physical nature of the body she’s in, but does she know how to really use it? So that’s why it would have been interesting to get into an actual fight scenario just to see, what would happen? AH: Yeah to see what would happen if there were punches thrown. AC: Would they be good punches? Or would they be these awkward … AH: … awkward slaps? AC: Yeah, who knows? But that would have been a really interesting subject to tackle. AH: We did have it in an earlier draft. I just remember we had to cut some stuff for time and that was sadly one of them. I remember there was a good chunk of the room that was like, ‘We’ve got to have a fight’. I remember also at one point we wanted Jayne Eastwood to take down a guy. It was going to be, in our minds, Gloria in Dwight’s body having difficulty trying to stop somebody and then Dwight in Gloria’s body tackles him or something, shoves him to the ground. AC: Well and going off of everyone else’s, you know because Duke in Nathan’s body moved like Duke, and vice versa. So by that rationale if you’re trying to keep continuity for all of the characters then Dwight wouldn’t know how to use that body. AH: Dwight would have no clue. And so you’d have Gloria having to be the bad ass, kicking down doors. It would have been so much fun. AC: Yeah but then not having the physical strength to do it; knowing how but then not being able to. Knowing how to throw a punch but it having no effect.

[As Vince and Dave talk to Skip/Jeffrey outside the house in Manteo] AC: This is a nice scene to be able to talk about the wardrobe. AH: I was thinking that too. AC: And really just how well dressed everyone is. And makeup and all the departments, everyone just firing on all cylinders, especially by this point. It’s a great looking show. AH: It’s one of the compliments I can give is I was really upset being down here in LA when the set sale was on. And I was, ‘Ah! I can’t get any of that wardrobe.” AC: Yeah, and even just all the lighting; Eric Cayla our DP … AH: Oh yeah, beautiful shots here.

[As Skip/Jeffrey is talking to Vince and Dave] AH: Now if you go back to episode 505 you’ll notice that Skip has gloves on, leather gloves. In this scene he takes them off to try and use his Trouble. And when he first meets the Teagues brothers he is wearing gardening gloves - just a tiny cute little thing we put in there.

[As Vince in Dave’s body is getting pulled into the thinny] AH: Great work by the visual effects team here. AC: Yeah, it’s always interesting to see the finished result because so many times you’re acting to a green screen, or just a wall.

[As Duke and Nathan walk into Dwight’s office] AC: It’s a little thing but the way Jayne is standing there [hands on the desk] is very Dwight. And by this point we’d both gotten to the point where, I think she was really starting to find some of the things that Dwight does. AH: Those little touchstones. AC: Yeah; it’s knuckles on the desk, it’s arms spread out a little bit. AH: Even that little look there, and picking up the phone. And I think being back in a set which Dwight has so much ownership of just allowed her to really get into that skin so to speak.

[Where Mara has Jeffrey tied up] AH: This is a creepy location. AC: It is. Totally is, it just screams serial killer. Great lighting once again Eric Cayla. AH: And this was the first year that we went from using film for the last four seasons to using digital HD. Turned out really well. AC: And I remember that being a huge question mark, as to how it would look and what the differences would be. AH: Especially because it’s a show that shoots outside so much. I’ve been on shows where you’re outside maybe a day, two days, but you’re mostly a studio show. This isn’t a studio show; you’re inside for maybe two days and you’re out on location the rest of the time. AC: Well that’s one of the things I’ve always said; the landscape is one of the stars. AH: Definitely. And it has that creepy but beautiful small town - [cuts himself off at the dramatic moment of Duke in Nathan’s body storming in to taser Mara]. And here’s the stun belt. It took two episodes but it was going to go off. We put that in - it was happening. And a nice little touchstone of, of course Nathan wouldn’t be able to do it but Duke would. We had fun coming up with those. [As the view shifts to outside and a shot full of trees] It’s just so green, it’s just nice to see that, those rich colours. AC: Yeah, you don’t need to bump those colours up any - that’s just the way it is. It’s such an interesting place to be because it is so lush and it just has a little bit of everything, whether it’s forest or ocean and this really kind of rugged coastline. It’s a neat place. AH: Did you get to do any hiking or boating or anything like that? AC: I did a lot of kayaking, a lot of ocean kayaking. AH: Oh that’s nice. AC: And found myself in open water and maybe in over my head a couple of times. AH: Really? AC: But I made it back. And it was nice to be able to discover some of the nooks and crannies of the area, for sure. And having the time over the years to be able to find out what places you like best. Shout out to Mahone Bay, I think a personal favourite of Emily and myself.

AC: One thing that’s interesting about this cast in comparison to a lot of casts is it’s a big cast. Lucas is about 6’1”, Eric’s about 6’2”, Richard’s 6’3”, I’m 6’4”. AH: That’s not regular. Most of the time it may look like it’s a large cast but everyone’s 5’7”. This is by far the largest cast I’ve ever worked with and it’s kind of cool. When you get to that physicality stuff and everything, you remember; it’s big guys against big guys. AC: Yeah it definitely lends itself to that kind of thing. AH: Whenever we’re casting opposition, bad guys for physical roles, we always have to keep that in mind. We can’t bring in a guy who’s 5’5” who’s supposed to look terrifying to our boys. It’s not going to work. AC: As evidenced by the hiring of my buddy Robert Maillet who was Heavy. Who is very heavy, like 380 pounds 6’11” heavy. And that was fun because he was a friend from WWE and has since gone on to The Strain, and 300, and Sherlock Holmes and built a nice little career for himself. Or a big career I guess. AH: I think I can tease this; he also makes an appearance in a future episode of Haven.

[As we see Skip and Jeffrey meet outside the Gull] AH: There’s a lot of brotherhood in this episode. You’ve got these actual brothers, and the Teagues, and Duke and Nathan are functionally brothers. And it was one of the things that we really wanted to play with. AC: Also, always great use of music in Haven. AH: Yes. AC: Also an appearance of Shawn Pillar’s Airstream back there, real briefly.

[As we see Dwight wake up back in his own body at his own desk] AC: Here was my question. Why would Dwight have been there? He wouldn’t have been. AH: OK good question. AC: He would have been in the morgue. AH: Yeah. AC: I brought it up that day and everyone went, ‘That’s a thread you don’t want to pull.’ And I went, ‘I just pulled it.’ Just saying. AH: He uh … Gloria was just taking a nap. She liked that chair a lot. AC: *laughs* Yeah. But that was a continuity thing, I was like, ‘hold on a second guys - but we’re here so OK’. Because I didn’t catch it in the read through. You know, I caught it when we were there and I was like ‘arghh’. AH: I will say that’s definitely on us. We should have caught that one. That should have been in the morgue. We had you in the morgue earlier, we could have shot that. Now I’m going to be thinking about this all day, I’m just going to be stewing in it. AC: *laughs* But you got to bring it up right? AH: You do. AC: Because otherwise there’s someone out there who goes, ‘Wait a minute’.

[As Vince and Dave are talking in the hospital] AH: And there’s that emotional stuff we were talking about. AC: Yeah it was always so interesting to do scenes with Richard because it was always so easy to dip into the emotions with him because he just carries an aura about him. AH: I love writing scenes for the two of you. It was one of my favourite things. In the next season you can expect to see some of that. Some great scenes and I just liked that relationship that you two built. AC: It always felt like father/son stuff, and that’s how I always thought of that. There’s a few things that when I thought of Dwight it’s always the one thing that drives him is the loss of his daughter. He’s trying to cure this no matter what, and that from a family aspect Vince was his Dad, Nathan was his brother, Duke was the buddy that he kind of hates but kind of loves. AH: Yeah, we all have that person AC: And Audrey is the younger sister. AH: Yeah the kid sister that he kind of wants to protect but wants to respect. That’s so well put. And it was so nice to see those relationships grow. AC: And Dave is the crazy uncle. AH: *laughs* Of course. But I loved writing those scenes and you guys would always kill them.

[As Allison Doohan is talking to the Teagues in Dave’s hospital room] AH: Some heavy mythology here. This stuff is important for season 5b. *stage whisper* Pay attention. It was interesting actually because working on the second half of the season we had set up a lot of threads in this episode and we’re pushing it to 521, 522, 525 and going, ‘Oh wow we’re going back to 505!’ and having to pay off somethings this episode is pivotal for. As funny and light as it is. AC: Yeah that’s just it. It was comedy and a bright spot in the midst of this overcast cloud, but there’s a lot of information that is actually divulged in these episodes. [As Dwight and Gloria are talking where she tells him about his sister] This is actually, up until this point, my favourite scene for Dwight. Just because it’s a range of emotions that I had to try and get in a 30 second timeframe. AH: And you delivered, you really did. I’m actually going to stop talking just to let this play through. AC: This is just one of those instances where nothing seems to go right for Dwight. AH: That’s the thing, we always felt bad AC: And he’s a good guy, so you feel for him I think. AH: You really do. He’s an everyman just trying to do the right thing. AC: Yep. Misunderstood at times but the heart is good. AH: And every moment it feels like what can go wrong does go wrong. AC: So up until that point I think that was my favourite kind of tackle, and how it turned out I was very happy with. But Jayne is someone who is so easy to play off of with those type of things. And also, possible spoiler alert, there may be more scenes like that to come, that I really really enjoyed doing. AH: And you did it so well. And it was so interesting because, like we’ve been talking about, the clouds are coming in … AC: There’s a ray of light … AH: And we took it all away. That’s what we do, we take it away. We make you feel happy … and then you’re sad. But yeah it’s just so interesting that tonal shift of how fun and light this is and then just painful. AC: And then poop gets real again. [As Dave is talking about waking up on the beach] AH: I feel like a good chunk of this episode is going to be used in ‘Previously on Haven’s. AC: Yeah, just because there’s so much, especially in the last half of this episode. Even ten episodes later. AH: 20 even. AC: Yeah, that’s how pivotal this stuff that we’re talking over is.

AC: Duke has the coolest vehicle. That … Range Rover I think, right? Or Land Rover? AH: Land Rover? The Land Rover survives until season 5b, we can spoil that. AC: Yeah sure, why not? AH: Look forward to more Land Rover AC: With the cloth top, and the steering wheel on the British side.

[As Duke and Nathan are getting ready to try and brink Audrey back out of Mara] AC: She’s so angry. And mean. [As Duke is cutting his hand] I cringed every time this happened. I have a thing with knives, they always freak me out. AH: I do as well. I don’t know if you notice every time in this commentary it happens, I always look to you, because I just don’t like looking at it. AC: Yeah and surgeries and all that stuff, really freaks me out. Guns don’t bother me, knives uh huh. AH: And this was a nice reveal, we really enjoyed this. We had this planned and I do think we caught a lot of people off guard.

[Mara on screen; “Nothing happened. You’re both idiots”] AC: *laughing* She’s so evil you like her, at times. AH: She’s fun. In an evil way.

[As we see Audrey] AH: And there’s some trickery of course here, with some body doubles and stuff to make sure that we could pull this off, as Emily Rose sadly does not have a twin sister. It would have been a lot easier on us if she had, but.

AC: Yeah so that’s a pretty big episode. AH: Sure there’s no ramifications from this at all.

AC: Well before the end of the show I would like to say thank you for having me. This was a lot of fun and yeah, it’s always fun to get to talk about the show. AH: Thank you for having me as well. Thanks for listening and keep watching!

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