#just remember that this is completely ooc

[oroborosfeast]

casual

fandom: house of the dragon pairing: modern jacaerys velaryon x fem!reader warnings: brief sexual encounters mentioned, probably ooc! jacaerys tags: fwb, situationship almost gone wrong, friends to lovers, angst to fluff. wc: 1.7k notes: aegon, aemond and helaena are jacaerys's cousins. no incest au. author's note: english is not my first language.

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"What?"

"I am asking you, are you ashamed of me?"

"No, of course not, why- why are you asking me, are you-"

"Then why does it look like you are?  Every place we go, where we are seen, you introduce me as your friend!"

"Because you are!" he stood up from the bed at a start. He tried not to scream, he really did, but the exasperation running through his veins set him up. 

"Spare me the shame, Jacaerys. Spare me the embarrassment."                                                                                                                     

"Whatever this is, it is not what you think"

And for the first time, she let him have the last word.

It was unusual for her to show herself vulnerable in front of him, perhaps that was why he stood static in his place and didn’t go after her. Perhaps.

"I have overextended my stay"

That was the first thing that came out of her mouth when she saw Rhaenyra at the bottom of the stairs. "You are not going to stay for dinner."

An affirmation. Not a question. 

"I am afraid not. I will call a taxi or hail a cab, I wouldn’t want to abuse your kindness, there is no need to worry for me" She gave her a soft smile, trying to reassure her that she was fine, even though everybody could see she was far from it. 

  She wanted out, and she wanted it now. She left as fast as she could, but not before saying goodbye. 

"I screwed up."

"It almost pains me how quickly you admitted to it. You know, this is the first time I see you so…"

"So..?" he lifted his head from the pillow to stare at his brother -who was clearly, having too much fun- with a deadpanned expression. 

"So afflicted. So troubled. So-"

"Shut up, Luke, I get what you mean." he turned his head back to his pillow.

"But I don’t understand, why not tell her how you feel?" Luke fixed his posture to a much more relaxed one. "You are just making trouble for yourself."

"Tell me, what did you say to her? She stormed off pretty quickly."

He knows that she did, he heard the front door slam shut. 

"Why do you want to know? So you can tell your friends everything in full detail?"

"No"

This time he turned around completely and sat on the bed. He contemplated whether to grab the pillow, throw it at him, and yell at him to leave, or he could kindly tell him to.

"What is going on in my life is none of your business, Luke. Now would you please leave my room?"

"That’s why she left, you refuse to open up!"

Luke knew he touched a nerve, but before his brother could chase him out of the room, he left. 

His back once again hit the mattress. His mind wandered back to the argument and all the words unsaid. He sighed as he rubbed his hands against his face. 

He always understood his wrongdoings but never understood how to make things right. He always lived in the middle ground; he made little to no mistakes throughout his life «It’s all about being vulnerable » he once heard his mother say. But still, to this day, it’s hard to do. 

He doesn’t remember when it all started, maybe it did when his self-righteous spirit - as well as his brothers- was crushed completely by his cousins. Nothing was done to put a stop to their behavior; his complaints about their bullying were constantly overlooked. It wasn’t until extreme conditions arose that they paid mind. Aemond lost his sight in a ruckus with Lucerys, nobody knows how that ended up happening, and gods, nobody remembers what they were arguing about. 

They took it from there. 

He only saw them at dinners; Christmas, thanksgiving…You name it. They couldn’t get along, but he was glad that they didn’t want to go back to what they had before. 

And he could go on and on, and fall into a spiral. But Lucerys was correct, he was only making trouble for himself. 

He knew he cornered her to such a state of distress and doubt.

 He thought about the agreement, oh, the agreement. 

She knew he had experience, but not to the point of having a reputation, maybe that’s what gave her the courage to ask him to give her her first kiss, and so many firsts more. He was Sure that the infatuation they had for each other would easily fade, that they could go back to being friends. 

But they talked less and less about the boys and girls they liked, they just talked with each other. Too close, too much. 

Having her at his disposal and not naming what they had was more than okay. Because that meant that he could not lose her, but it was futile because maybe he did now.

 But, he stumbled around his words, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want her or Loves her. 

So much for being casual. 

She was spent. Completely, utterly spent. 

She lied when she said she could call a taxi, or hail a cab, she doesn’t have a penny to her name, nowhere to drop dead. She walked to her dorms wondering if she was punishing herself. Droplets of water started to hit her forehead, but it was manageable until she almost felt like she was about to drown in the rain. She could’ve called someone to pick her up, but her pride always led her to make bad decisions. 

Jacaerys always trod carefully around her, never saying something out of place, and if he came near, he always corrected his -sometimes poor- choices of words and that was what she liked about him, the reassurance, the touch. She thought that she was going to be the first to figure him out completely, and see through him; She did and it scared him off. 

The first thing she noticed was how he knew his way around things. He raised his hand often in class, bringing new perspectives to the table and not repeating what the professor said with different synonyms and roundabouts.  

The second was how kind he was, their first meeting was a complete mess, with her various highlighters and markers on the floor as well as her study guides. He was the only one. Who helped her. She observed how his thick glasses slid slightly off his nose when he leaned down and how big his hands were in comparison to hers when he went in for a handshake. 

The third is how attentive he was, subtly reminding her to eat and drink her water, knowing she was too wrapped up studying or doing Gods know what -like she once told him- he often offered her food throughout the study sessions he hosted at his dorm, and he even forced her to take some of his food with her. Even though it flustered and annoyed her to no end, she accepted every single time. 

The fourth thing was how good-looking he was, which confirmed how foolish she was, her thoughts were sneaking up on her, they were always « Jacaerys is looking too good » or « his lips look swollen in the morning » until they escalated further. 

The fifth was how lovely he was, that was what she thought of him when he kissed her gently, his hands grabbing her face and stroking her cheeks softly. She asked for it, and she didn’t regret it one bit. It wasn’t until he got her into his sheets, almost reducing her into a puddle that she thought what they were doing was wrong, he didn’t love her. 

But all of him was addicting, and he always let her indulge in her newly discovered wants. She knew that her lips would always chase his, map them, and get lost in them, over and over. 

Maybe they were at fault, she thought he could read her mind and he thought more words between them weren’t needed. 

"Cmon’ Cmon’ Pick up!"

Days had gone by and nobody knew where in the seven hells she was. She hadn’t been attending her classes or picking up his calls, and that could mean anything. The last thing left to do was to visit her dorm, which he did. 

"You look awful." he said as he placed a cold and wet towel on her forehead. "Why didn’t you answer any of my calls?" he saw her mouth open and close, he got no answer, but he decided to keep pressuring her "You could have texted me."

"I can barely look at my phone."

"You are making too many excuses." he sighed. "Lift your shirt."

"What?"

"Your fever is not going down. "

He was infuriating, and he knew that. But she couldn’t take care of herself in this state. 

"I have allergies, nothing otherworldly. "

"it’s not allergies if you have a fever." he placed the wet towel on her exposed stomach.  

"I am under the weather, then."

He found her boots drenched and dirtied with mud on the doorway, the same boots she had been wearing when she went to his house. 

"You could have asked me, you know?" his hand reached her face to fix one stray strand of hair. Seeing her confused expression made him realize that her thoughts were elsewhere. "To drop you off."

"After the argument we had?"

He offered nothing in response. 

"My father- She didn’t let him finish. "You’re missing the point, Jacaerys. This is easy, you just need to tell me how you feel."

"You love me."

He sounded dreadful when he said that.

"You don’t?" she asked.

"I do"

"Then whatever happens next I won’t hold it against you." she croaked. She spared him already, forgave him right there and then, She could blame her feverish state later. 

"Help me make things right. I want you to start everything again, I am afraid I did everything wrong."

"Ask me out, and kiss me later."

"Why not now?"

"I’m sick, Jace."

"It could be worth the shot."

This is my first time writing for jacaerys! and writing a fanfic generally speaking, please feel free to reblog and like

[ask-elliot-doorman-fam]

Well Tera... smiling widely You seem to make it somewhat clear as to how you feel about Kiara. So tell me, when did you realize?

Mod/OOC: Fuck it, I'm going full force at this point XD.

"I-I don't know what you mean I-" She slumps, defeated "Yeah, I really like her..."

I don't know when it started...Kia has been my freind for as long as I can remember. She and Rad were really the only two people to not treat me like... I'm scary. People expect me to go a fight things, be strong and tough, why else would I have claws and fangs? To her, I was always just... me, Tera. Her best freind."

Tera is scrunching in on herself, she looks embarrassed... and sad.

"Even after I scared her to death when my wings and tail came in... she's always been there, never once scared that I would hurt her...and I didn't always have that confidence, that I wouldn't on accident."

"I realized it in the dumbest way... we were just sitting on the couch, watching some stupid movie- I don't even remember what it was now. And she fell asleep on me, just like that... had complete trust in me, no fear."

She's almost tearing up, there's a lump in her throat that she pushes down.

"That got really sappy... ugh, fuck me."

[piningpercussionist]

(ooc)

Fellas. What if I just. Replied to shit completely out of order? How would we feel abt that?

(I'm still having blockage of the writer's variety... but I want to try to respond to things. So badly. But also my inherent desire to be as chronological as possible...... sgchdhhdjcshdj)

[luckhissoul]

i rarely post ooc on here but here's my long winded rambling about something that i keep seeing in regards to the show. like i've seen these different takes that somehow in the show mat's been given more layers and depth. but like i can't see where or how tbh all the show's given me so far is

his "gritty" backstory. supposedly to "explain" why he's the way he is. even though in the show he's not at all the way he is supposed to be ---

his disloyalty. abandoning his friends to possible death, abandoning egwene in the tower. they took one of his biggest driving points and just erased it entirely. this is not the mat that chased an assassin all the way to tear to save the wondergirls. this is not the mat that turned back towards a literal war when he had never fought in one before.

his innate darkness that drew him to the dagger. no mat couldn't just want gold, he couldn't even be greedy. he needs to have a darkness that made moiraine so sure he'd choose the dark. and apparently ishamael saying he belonged to him since birth ? like uhm did i hear that right?

these are literally the only traits he's been given. -- how does one do a more complex mat than the one robert jordan wrote anyways? he's confusing af - no one understands what's going on with him not even himself. like i always see sando getting flack about how he wrote mat. like he did better than anything the shows done so far tbh.

but this leads me to the whole 'the show did it better than the books' or that "the show fixed things" about every single little or major change that the show makes.  like prefer one over the other, love one hate the other. cool nbd. but -- i've never seen the source material of an adaptation so -- idk hated by the fandom? it confuses me how much flack robert jordan gets for writing a certain thing or a certain character but the show gets praised for a basically hollowed out poorly done adaptation. like i can enjoy the show, there are good things ( hello josha ) and there are bad ( the over the top age drops of the aes sedai. alanna's lowkey creepy with much young warders - they do know they don't get the same life span right? - and moiraine didn't give up her life for the search for the dragon. how long did she live before his birth ?? etc etc ). but i don't know how one could "understand" the characters or world better than the person that wrote it. i don't get how anyone could be interested in a world or characters from a book series that they seemingly hate ? by an author they basically hate, too? that's just my take i guess. i for one love the books. so ---

i'll go crawl back into my corner now ---

[siixkiing]

I completely forgot about the Sun Wukong inspired Sonic Character Monkey Khan XD

[sensesdialed]

can i talk about how much being around other spider people would mean to peter after he's been so incredibly lonely post-nwh. can i talk about it

[zoophagist]

just finished the epilogue from re: dracula and i'm just..... do you think they ever think about renfield? :( does mina ever remember what he sacrificed for her? does jack ever look back with shame at how he treated him, dismissed him? the final note has that bit about little quincey's names tying together all the group and how someday they'll tell him the full story of how so many men risked it all to save his mother... do you think renfield ever figures in that? does his name get remembered? or is his part in the story lost?

[nxmelessfighter]

// i need someone else to confirm but i swear during recollection 34 and fieldwork interaction ookurikara's 'nare au tsumori wa nai' towards mitsutada sounds notably different than when he says it in any of his other lines

[cloyingcadaver]

x

[fstbmp-a]

The funniest part is that Olympia really doesn't know what she's doing. The fact she's pulling off that outfit so well is solely because it's her, y'know? You look at that outfit and think 'Yeah, that's Olympia'. If you asked her for advice, she'd have no fuckin' clue where to start.

[quick-drawn]

to me cassidy always seemed like the type that'd offer up a firm handshake to go along with a brief introduction, curt nod and one of the friendliest smiles you'll ever see, just before he uses that handshake to pull you into a headbutt for thinking you could talk to his friend over there like that —

[p2ii]

.

[tvrningout]

staring at my hands and wondering if i haven't just been burned out for ages actually

[magioffire]

its so amazing to me that when a caterpillar undergoes metamorphosis within their cocoon, they dissolve themselves into a goo and for all intents and purposes, ‘they ‘die’. but they reform from that organic material that made up their old body into something entirely new, and the most amazing part? even though they essentially were reduced down to their basest components and reformed, moths/butterflies retain memories from when they were caterpillars.

all i gotta ask is...where do the memories get stored when the caterpillar is in the goo state? is the memory of the caterpillar just floating around in the goo like everything else? is this proof that a centralized brain is not required to store memory???  that memory has a physical component to it and is not just electrical impulses??? are memory and genetic material linked?? bruh 4 am bug thoughts

[reluctaunt]

you know that scene in anastasia where rasputin uses a dreamlike state to try and lure anya to her death. thats vaguely how I interpret the vanny situation. it's not entirely glitchtrap taking over but vanessa herself is certainly not wholly present

[sword-and-lance]

((how FUCKING long has it been since I actually had a good night's sleep

have I ever had a good night's sleep

you mean to tell me that people calling sleep restful were actually not fucking exaggerating and it was SUPPOSED to be this way the whole goddamn time))