#everyone always told me it would look bad
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wheeboo · 2 days ago
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seventeen and their reaction to you after wisdom teeth surgery
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PAIRING. seventeen (o13) x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, crack/humour, established relationship WARNINGS. mention of wisdom teeth removal, mention of surgery, mention of blood and gauze, mention of IV sedation WORD COUNT. 1.1k
notes: it would be day 2 post-op of my wisdom teeth surgery as of the posting of this. ik everyone's experience is different but i was given IV sedation for my procedure and it was literally like coming up from a nap istg HAHA. i've been quite literally devastated that i cant eat anything so i've decided to make this lol for funsies to cope i hope u all enjoy!!!
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choi seungcheol
becomes your knight in shining armour literally. holds your hand while they stick the IV in your arm, insists to stay and watch over you but then the oral surgeon kicks him out of the room LMAO. when the surgery is done, he's literally picking you up bridal style all the way into the car and pampers and spoils you so hard for the rest of your recovery :(( he hates seeing his precious baby in so much pain. you'd wake him up in the middle of the night to take your medicine and he always makes sure to stay by your side
yoon jeonghan
ngl mfer would probably be laughing at you 💀 they'd wheel you up all the way to his car, still loopy from the anesthesia and numbing stuff. you end up saying something like "woww, the skies are sooo blue," and he'd just say "if you look closer, there's unicorns in the sky," and you're like "REALLY??????????" nonetheless he'd still be very very caring, just be aware of him talking about what food he should eat for dinner and you're glaring at him with your tiny cup of applesauce
joshua hong
just the SWEETEST, and maybe a bit of a tease as well (unsurprisingly), and def isn't secretly recording your cute moments to show you later on since you won't really remember. he'd be like "yeah, you told me you wanted to marry me on the ride back home." pushes back your hair and gives you the softest smile ever when you wake up from the anesthesia, and you couldn't help but mumble something about him looking like an angel who came down from heaven
wen junhui
he would be so amused by everything you're saying post-surgery. will be giggling alongside you at the most nonsensical things. due to the numbing you'd mumble something about how your tongue is gone, and he'd just gasp, "WHERE DID IT GO?" then immediately goes to reassure you, "wait, wait, it's still there, don't worry." will very much be doting on you the entire day, constantly promising to cook your favourite meals for you when you're finally able to
kwon soonyoung
man is a combination of hyping you and up and being in constant panic mode. he'd be cheering for you so happily after getting through the surgery, but by the time you're in the car and start mumbling nonsense, he'd be so so confused, trying to figure out what you're saying. you'd say like "i want jdsfklsjfd" with the bloody gauze and he's like "??????" is constantly reviewing over the oral surgeon's notes and googling stuff just to be extra safe. would try to make soup but somehow burns it?
jeon wonwoo
quietly yet determined. he always makes sure to take your pain meds on time, always helps spoon feed you and give water when you need it, always lets you hold onto him when you're uncomfortable. would be silently amused by your silly antics, to be honest. feels bad that you aren't able to eat but is constantly reassuring you with kisses to the head that you'll be better soon, running his hands through your hair until you doze off
lee jihoon
appears unfazed but honestly he might be freaking the freak out, constantly watching over you like a hawk. hates seeing you in pain and uncomfortable and wants to do everything he can just to make you not feel that way. pours all his love and care into creating soft meals that you're able to eat. you can tell him "jihoonie, it hurts :(" and he's absolutely melting. would definitely give you a little sigh and eye roll when you say something all groggily, but still loves it of course
xu minghao
is very patient and literally prepared everything beforehand. he has all the foods lined up for you to eat, all the meds scheduled at the right time you'd need to take them, your bed and pillows already adjusted to the right level. has all the herbal teas ready to help you relax. in the car, you'd ask him for a kiss and he's like "my love, the doctor said i can't give you one," and you give him a big old pout. he won't be able to help himself, and plants a kiss to your knuckles instead. overall, he's just very gentle eugh
kim mingyu
mother mode: activated. baby talks you the whole time, even when you're just loopily staring at him like "??????" carries you to the car if you're too weak to walk with your arms wrapped around his neck and legs wrapped around his torso, tucks you in with five blankets and five pillows propped to level your body, and brings you all the softest foods he can find. insists on feeding you even though you can do it yourself. honestly probably insists on doing almost everything for you: helping you eat, putting cold/warm compresses to your face, anything
lee seokmin
he's laughing. so much. but also giving you a cute little forehead kisse every few minutes. you wake up from the anesthesia and he's grinning so hard at you because you look so cutely dazed and confused, blinking up at him like he's some sort of a divine being (which he is, honestly). you probably say something like "wowwww you're soo handsome," and the dental assistants tell you that he's your boyfriend, causing you to be shocked, and he would just absolutely melt
boo seungkwan
oh my baby is loud but loving. he's wheeling you out of the office and going, "oh my god, my poor baby, you did so well!!" and immediately starts recording when you say something dumb. the moment you start whining, he's all over you omfg, fussing about your comfort, adjusting your pillows, and if you refuse to take your meds he'd be nagging your ass. if you start crying about not eating real food, he's crying with you honestly
vernon chwe
of course he's very chill but is very entertained and also kinda worried for you. probably records funny moments of you to send to the svt groupchat and keep in his memories to show you later on. always looks out for the little signs you might be in pain, and would fetch your meds and some water wordlessly. the first thing he'd get you after surgery would be a milkshake or smoothie, but insists to take the first sip to make sure "it's safe" (he just wanted an excuse to taste it)
lee chan
super caring but also the type to play along with anything you say. if you go "the ceiling is moving," he just gasps and goes, "no way! it is!" but of course he's really gentle with you, carefully buckling your seatbelt and rubbing your back when you get frustrated about not being able to eat solid food. might also carry you piggyback style if you're still out of it from the anesthesia. when you nap, he stays close by just in case you need anything
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flowery-mess · 2 days ago
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the bet: part two
Pairing: frat boy Noah x female reader
Warnings: 18+ MDNI! / punching / slaping / a bet related to a sexual topic made by Noah's friends, but no actual harm to the reader - consider whether to continue if this topic is sensitive for you.
Words: 2,1k
Author's note: please read warnings for this one! I wouldn't want to upset anyone and as always let me know if there's anything else that should be tagged!
the bet: part one | frat boy Noah masterlist
✨This two part fic takes place just a few weeks into Noah and Ella’s friendship with benefits, so it’s kind of a flashback story. In their storyline this would happen before the “uh oh” one shot.✨
“Hi, you’re Ella right?” tall man with long hair approached you next to the bar when you were getting a drink for yourself.
“Hi, yeah. I’m sorry, do I know you?” you answered, not sure if you already knew this man or not, feeling bad if you forgot.
“No I don’t think we officially met, I’m Jolly, Noah’s friend.” you shook his hand and smiled at him.
“Ah, okay.” you didn’t really know where this was going, you haven’t officially met any of Noah’s friends and didn’t feel any need to when your and Noah’s relationship wasn’t anything serious to meet his close friends.
“Do you wanna sit with us? Noah just went to grab something from his car. He'll be back in a minute.” uh oh, hanging out with his friends without him? It didn’t feel right, but you panicked and said yes.
“Hey everyone, this is Ella. Ella, this is Nick, Folio and Matt.” he pointed to each of the guys with each name he said. You noticed some girls sitting there with them, but they were probably not part of the friend group.
“That’s Noah’s spot, you can sit there.” Nick pointed to the empty space on the red couch and you sat down enough for Noah to have room when he comes back. On your right was a girl with long black hair that introduced herself as Nina.
You listened to their conversation, being on the shy side you didn’t really join them and rather stayed listening. You cursed yourself out for joining them in the first place and scanned the room for anyone you could know and use as an excuse for leaving. Before you could do that, you heard Folio calling your name.
“Shit sorry, I wasn’t listening. What did you say?” you told him.
“That’s okay. I was just asking you the same question as everyone else, if you feel comfortable answering of course.” he told you first, shifting in his seat before spilling his question, “What is the most orgasms you had in one night?”
“What?” you didn’t hide the shock on your face, feeling uncomfortable from the stares of everyone.
“You don’t have to answer.” Nina told you and squeezed your hand in a supportive way.
“Why would you ask that?” you were confused and kind of offended by that question, but tried to look casual.
“Just curious.” Folio shrugged his shoulders.
“Because these assholes had a bet a few years ago about who can make the girl they sleep with have the most orgasms in one night. Ignore him, they’re stupid.”
You turned to face Nina, but you were left speechless.
“Can you give me another one?” from last week replayed in your head and Noah’s face flashed in front of your eyes. It couldn’t be, right? He wouldn’t.
When Noah walked back inside the house and saw you sitting with his friends, he froze. You were sitting with your back facing him, but he didn’t have a good feeling.
“Ella?” he said with uneasy feeling when he reached the group.
It took him one look at your face and he knew you knew. You didn’t say a word to any of them and started walking towards the door.
“What did you tell her?” Noah’s eyes went immediately to Folio.
“Bro I just-” Noah didn’t even let him finish the sentence, just yelled “Fuck you!” and turned around to go after you.
He saw you walking in the direction of your dorm so he started running to catch you before you could go inside.
“Ella!” he tried getting your attention, “Ella! Wait, please!”
You looked over your shoulder and saw him running after you, so you started walking faster, not wanting him to see you cry.
You didn’t make it to your dorm fast enough, you felt Noah’s hand around your arm so you stopped walking.
“Ella, I-”
“You what? What do you want, Noah?” you didn’t let him finish, not wanting to hear any of his excuses.
“Let me explain, please?”
“What is there to explain?” you looked at him with tears in your eyes, feeling humiliated. By him and by his friends.
“I don’t know what they told you but I promise it’s not true.”
“Oh really? So you don’t have a bet with your friends?”
“No. I mean yes, but no.”
When you didn’t say anything and just looked at him with a look full of sadness and anger he continued.
“We had a bet, but we stopped with it years ago. Folio brought it up last week and I’m an idiot for not shutting it down immediately. I’m an fucking idiot okay? I said yes, but I never told them anything. I never talked with them about you, I promise. I would never do that. I paid them their fucking money to shut up, I didn’t expect them to talk to you about it. I’m sorry Ella, really.”
“What?” you whispered, trying to understand what the fuck he just said.
“I didn’t tell them anything and I swear I didn’t plan to. They have their money and I promise you they’ll never talk about it again.”
“And that’s supposed to make me feel better, Noah?” you asked him, feeling really stupid right now.
Tears continued to run down your cheeks and Noah wanted nothing more than go back and punch his best friends.
“I promise I never wanted to hurt you.”
“What we did last week,” you took breath before you could finish your sentence, “was just because of this bet, right?”
Noah didn’t have to answer, the silence and his guilty look said it for him.
“Oh, okay.” you nodded and turned around to walk away from him.
“Wait.” he grabbed your wrist and turned you around, but you were quick enough to land a slap to his left cheek.
“I don’t wanna hear it, Noah.” and with that you ran up the stairs that lead to your dorm and left Noah standing there by himself.
That night you couldn’t fall asleep and Noah didn’t stop calling you until 4AM.
After you ran away from him, he went back to the house and had a fight with Folio who ended up with a black eye.
On Monday you thought about faking being sick to get out of sociology class to avoid Noah and his friends, but you didn’t.
When you entered the class you already saw Noah and his two friends, Matt and Folio, sitting in their usual places. You tried to avoid eye contact with all of them, but you saw Folio’s face and the ashamed look on his face when he saw you. He immediately turned his head down, as if he was the one who should feel ashamed.
Then you saw Noah, he was looking at you, seeking any reaction from you, but you wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.
You sat with Molly and Clara and didn’t turn to spare him any more looks for the rest of the class.
It went like this for three more weeks, you avoided him at school, at parties if you went and didn’t pick any of his calls or replied to his messages.
Until one Friday night. Noah saw you walk in the direction of a bathroom, so he followed you, feeling like a creep waiting for you outside. When you opened the door and wanted to leave he stopped you.
“5 minutes. Give me 5 minutes and then I’ll leave you alone.” to this day you’re sure it was the alcohol in your system that let you let him take you back to the bathroom and lock the door.
“I know you’re angry, I would be too. Before we left that night, Folio brought the bet up after a long time. We used to do it in our first year with girls we took home for a hookup. He and the boys were mocking me and telling me we should start doing it again. They asked about you, but I promise I didn’t tell them anything. Before or after the night.” he spoke quickly, scared he’ll run out of time and you’ll leave.
“I don’t wanna blame it on them or on the alcohol, but I was an idiot and said yes, but I regretted it immediately. I felt bad even when we left, but after we started kissing I forgot about the stupid bet and just wanted to feel good. To make you feel good. I didn’t expect you to let me do what we did in the cab and it just made me eager to get more from you, but because I wanted it. I never had this kind of relationship with anyone before, because no other girl ever made me feel like I want to take her home again. I enjoyed the night we spent together and I hope you did too. I wouldn’t take it back, spending that time with you. The next day I texted them I’m not part of that bet anymore and that they can have my money to shut up about it.” he reached for his phone and showed you their group chat from the day after that night.
You didn’t need him to prove to you his actions like this, but it was nice seeing he told you the truth. The other guys tried to get information from him, but he didn’t say anything except that he won’t tell them any more details about his sex life.
“I thought that was it, that they’re gonna stop or continue without me. I didn’t expect them to talk to you about it, because I didn’t think they were that stupid. I promise  I never had bad intentions with you and I never told them anything about you. I’m sorry for this whole thing and I’ll understand if you want to end this and stop seeing each other.” he finished his speech and looked at you with puppy eyes.
You didn’t know what to say, you believed him he was sorry and that he didn’t tell his friends anything about you. By the way Folio was so open with speaking his mind, you’d know if he knew something.
You also didn’t want to be sad and angry over some bet made by stupid frat boys, who in the end, didn’t get anything from it.
“Did you give Folio that black eye?” you asked Noah.
“Yeah, right after we had that fight.”
“And he still talks to you?”
“What? He deserved it.” Noah was confused with your reaction, but anything was better than silence.
“It was stupid and it hurt me. I felt humiliated when Nina told me about the bet. Even if you didn’t tell them anything, you’re still an idiot.”
“I am.” he agreed. “Folio wants to apologize to you too by the way.”
“Oh, didn’t expect that.”
“Yeah.” Noah put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, not sure what to do with them as silence took over the small room.
“I accept your apology Noah, but I don’t think I can go back to how it used to be. Not now, I need time to process all of this.”
The next day Folio stood at your door with flowers in his hands and looked at a child who did something bad with Noah behind him, like his dad making sure the apology is delivered.
His apology was surprisingly good and seemed honest that you accepted it and the flowers.
You also never told about any of this to Molly and Clara, because you were sure Molly would bite all of their heads off.
It took you more time to get over this completely and also information from Nina that after that night they agreed to end with that bet for good.
Noah stopped spamming you with texts and calls, only sent you funny videos from time to time.
You only spent a few nights with him before it all went downhill, but you missed it. He seemed like a nice guy to be around, you always had something to talk about before you fell asleep and he always had midnight snacks ready.
It also took a few Fridays of just making out in the bathroom in the frat house or in the back of his car until you let him take you back to his place again.
Looking back at it you can share a laugh about the situation and you made Noah promise to never do shit like that again, but you’re glad you decided to give him a second chance, because you both became each other’s close person and your friendship grew into something more than just friends with benefits with time.
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
This story is a work of fiction, with the plot and characters entirely made up. The appearance and name of the main male character are inspired by Noah Sebastian Davis, but the storyline bears no connection to the real person. Please do not steal or repost this work on other platforms without permission.
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cowboyschumi · 16 hours ago
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MUSE
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Summary: Oscar is known for being bad at padel, which is why he tries other hobbies, like photography. Now, he clearly needs something to take photos of.
Author's note: Oscar trying to play paddel 🤏
I'm a huge fan of taking inspiration from songs, so you can listen to this. Don't forget to enjoy the reading and show some love. <3
Warnings: None ig.
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COWBOYSCHUMI | 2025 All rights reserved. Do not copy, translate, or upload on other platforms.
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Oscar had to be grateful for being that good of a driver. Man, he was really bad at other sports. Everyone pointed it out and made fun of him, some people even pitied him or found it cute. He even tried golfing, but that racket was his last straw. He was a bit frustrated, but Oscar wasn’t the type to get frustrated and give up. He just accepted the fact that he wasn’t gifted enough.
His Instagram was— for his luck because he wasn't a media guy— managed by a social media professional, who made him posts and even took charge of taking pictures. Yes, none of his dumps, captions, or stories were posted by his own hands, which was crazy. He wanted some sort of control over that, after all, he had a voice and a platform. Not taking advantage of that would be a shame, besides there was no fun and genuine part if he wasn't the one behind his Instagram. So he decided to take it more seriously, it made his brain hurt in the most untolerable ways but he started to post more, engage with his fans.
Instagram dumps are such a religious thing for some people, he wasn't in that group until now. Having a picture perfect Instagram would let people have more connection with the places, his interests— perceive him differently and not some boring and flat boy with not much to say.
Like any driver, he had a stylist, a PR team, and other fancy stuff—which he didn’t like much because the main focus was on him, physically. His content was different now; it was full of sunsets, yachts, cars, and food pictures. He had to thank his team for lending him a professional camera—it made the quality ten times better.
"It's a lost cause." Oscar spoke as he carelessly dried his hair with a towel.
You vividly remember the first time he stepped into one of your classes—the typical shy kid who barely spoke. Other drivers came along with him, doing most of the talking, but they weren’t consistent in attending. For them, padel was just a way to kill time. Oscar, on the other hand, wanted to know everything about it—from the size of the court to executing the perfect shot with his racket. A few weeks after his first class, he started booking lessons on his own, demanding more focus and dedication.
He came around twice a week, and seeing him so often, you quickly grew close. So it wasn’t surprising to find him frequently emerging from the showers at the padel club. You had even learned to tolerate his wannabe tennis grunts when he hit the ball. At this point, you had already seen the worst of him.
"You’re just being hard on yourself. Not everything has to be perfect."
Like in any common locker room, there was a bench where people placed their clothes after showering. You sat there as you two talked.
No matter how comfortable you were around Oscar, you respected him, so you made a point of not looking at his shirtless torso.
"Don't give me a pity speech. I’ve heard enough of that." He really did sound tired of hearing it. But it was true—no one should be too hard on themselves for not meeting their highest expectations. Striving for perfection in everything wasn’t normal. Oscar’s mindset was too rigid, and being optimistic felt like an impossible task for him.
"Webber told me you started… photography? He even sounded worried about what you might do with that." Chuckles and laughter echoed through the warm changing room.
"Yeah, I mean, it’s pretty great. Still got a lot to work on," he admitted sincerely, making that classic uncertain face he always did when he wasn’t sure about something. His facial expressions were always amusing. "I got bored of photographing the plants on my balcony at home. Took some photos of Lando, and Hattie doesn’t even want the lens near her."
Laughter filled the room again—it felt like a comedy show at this point. But when it faded, you exchanged a tense glance, as if communicating telepathically. A mischievous smirk lit up his face.
"No." Your answer was immediate and firm, anticipating what was coming.
"I haven’t even said anything!" He raised his hands in mock innocence, his guilty smile still in place. Oh, you knew him too well.
"I won’t. I’m not photogenic."
"Please, just one time."
Oscar always swore on one-time things. But when something felt good, you tended to repeat it. He knew exactly how to take advantage of your kindness, always asking for harmless favors—because, in the end, you never said no to him.
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And there you were, in his Monaco apartment, on a morning when rain was pouring outside. Oscar always pointed out the differences between his current lifestyle and the one he had in Australia, the daily longing for home. That small place in Europe had its charm, and he wouldn’t complain, but he missed the wide-open spaces, the warmer weather, and even his mom’s cooking. Now he lived on the highest floor of the busiest avenue, in a cramped apartment so small that he barely had space to walk around.
"I brought donuts and coffee," You announced while cleaning your boots on the entrance mat.
"Cool, thank you. Would you mind sitting by the window? The light is majestic." His attention was focused on his camera, probably adjusting some tricky settings.
"Already bossing around?" Unbelievable. The kid already thought he was a professional photographer, giving orders and having the worst attitude.
You had a big trench coat on, surprisingly still soaked after the unstoppable rain. And it kept coming—people still struggling with their umbrellas, cars almost floating down the street. That’s what you could see from how high his apartment was.
The brown-eyed boy placed his face behind his huge, intimidating camera, yet somehow, you didn’t feel intimidated by it—after all, he was the one taking the photos. But then, an unexpected expression of discontent crossed his face, confusing you. Your brows furrowed instantly, maybe you weren’t pretty enough to be photographed. You relaxed your body, stopped posing—that was it. At least you tried.
"Take it off." Oscar’s index finger pointed at my jacket, his face continued hidden behind the camera. The view was limited, but his expression remained unreadable—no emotion, all seriousness. Clueless.
"It's freezing cold outside, you're insane." Despite your protest, you did as he told you—just like always, hating yourself for it. Your body leaned against the nearly immense open window, the breeze sneaked through with ease, making your skin shiver. Your face card wasn’t your main attribute, maybe your toned padel body was. Still, you couldn’t quite grasp why he chose you, considering all the contacts and friends he had. Favors were an unbreakable thing between you two, but, of course, you never owed him a thing.
A few more adjustments, and his camera was down again, poker face still tattooed all over him. With slow, measured steps, he walked closer until he stood right in front of you. His mannerisms were always soft and gentle, like he had been written by a woman. Not exactly naive, but delicate enough to make you feel safe and comfortable in his presence.
Oscar set your coat aside, draping it over his vintage couch. His whole place had that aesthetic. You especially loved the Abu Dhabi carpet that stretched across the floor, its deep reddish tones were delightful. His eyes couldn’t help but dart down your slim silhouette. Your white sleeveless shirt, drenched from the rain, clung to your curves, turning entirely translucent against your skin.
Finally, your eyes connected, and you desperately searched for answers, whether in his gaze or through words. The driver was entirely focused on his task, calculating angles, observing the natural lighting, and analyzing your body. Over-analyzing your body.
You knew that look—the one men gave when they stared too long, leaving a disgusting feeling. But Oscar wasn’t like that. Yes, he was staring, but with such admiration and adoration that, for once, you didn’t mind. For the first time in a long time, you felt pretty. Feminine. Reaching that level of femininity wasn’t easy. Padel and sports had always shaped your image, conditioning you to appear tough, stereotypically masculine. But under his gaze, all of that melted away.
You broke eye contact as the staring became too overwhelming for your liking, exceeding your daily dose of attention. You couldn’t just escape him because he was there, and you were working, or something like that. Your breathing hitched, and you involuntarily let out a low gasp at the feeling of his fingers brushing against your skin. His touch was cold, just like your body. The only warmth came from the fire igniting in your cheeks. His fingers hooked around one of your white straps, which had fallen out of place.
God, you wished you could say a word, anything, but you were petrified.
“You look gorgeous.”
“You just say that hoping I’d say yes to another photoshoot. Your guinea pig.” The back-and-forth banter and sarcastic flirting didn’t end, but now you were playing silly enough to avoid any heartfelt compliment. You didn’t like those types of things because you never knew how to react, especially when they came from him. His contagious laughter filled the room and your world turned upside down.
Something always lingered between you two, and it was the expectedly obvious, taking into account the amount of time you spent together—padel mornings or sometimes afternoons, dinner nights if class ended late, and when he actually managed to wake up to his multiple alarms, cycling together. But it was casual because you never knew what could cross a man's mind; spending a whole day together could mean nothing to them, maybe he even saw you in a sisterly way. So you tried to chill, not giving it much importance—because, again, a compliment could mean nothing.
His free hand found its way to your nape, resting his palm there, barely cradling it. You had no choice but to regain eye contact; he had you cornered with his gaze—physically, too. Any cold once brought by the winter weather had vanished. Your skin was hot, almost burning. Oscar's gaze didn’t reflect frenzy or desire; he looked lost, even stunned.
“Let me kiss you, please.” He murmured hopelessly, his words caressing and sweetening your ears in the most shivering way.
“Oscar, professionally is not the best to-” It was just a matter of seconds before he silenced you in the most cliché way possible. His kisses mirrored his personality—timid and shy, as if he were afraid to go too far. Yet, at the same time, they were sweet and innocent, like a first kiss, completely inexperienced.
Something that you clearly weren't used to.
Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him even more close, letting each other feel how you teetered, how you edged by just a kiss. Your consent gave him more confidence, turning the encounter into something deeper, sloppier. His lips parted against yours with more urgency, the hesitation melting away as the two of you let each other get lost in the moment. His breath was uneven, intoxicatingly mixing with yours. The kiss grew needier, desperate, and hungry. The sound of your teeth crashing messily together was secondary as his tongue brushed against your lips, savoring, tasting, before he dared to explore further. The slick warmth, the breathy sounds between kisses, the way his body pressed against yours—it was thrilling in the best way.
“I never really liked padel that much, nor was I good at it. There was no chance of improving. But you know why I kept coming back.” Oscar's smile emerged in the middle of the kiss, his tone playful, hinting that he knew he’d been doing something wrong just for the fun of it. Paying for extra classes just to see your face more than once a week? Genius move.
“Oh, I'm so gonna kill you.” You warned him, still in disbelief, that he’d been such a fool, especially since you would’ve said yes to any date prior if he’d only had the courage. There was no need for this extreme and unnecessary padel. But, still, seeing him struggle was part of your routine—and you enjoyed it. Not wanting to hear any lame excuses, you pulled him in, deciding to stay glued to his lips for a very long time
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newtkive · 3 days ago
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pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]
ch. 5 - everyone's gay
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THE GLADE
[ 12:05 PM ]
tommy: hi guys :3
minho: don't piss me off
tommy: WHAT???
I JUST SAID HI
y/n: hi tommy
minho: great now im pissed
newt: hey guys
y/n: WTF DID I DO??
newt: don’t have to do much to piss him off
minho: -_-
what so now im mean??
tommy: well at times you can be rude
y/n: YEAH? WTF you told me my face looks like a foot the other day
minho: and that foot would have fungus
tommy: lol 🍄 🦶
y/n: WTF THOMAS
gally: he cooked with that
y/n: i’ll cook u on a pike shut up
gally: is it bc im 6’5”?
minho: bro wanted to brag about his height 🤨
y/n: i still don’t believe he’s that tall until i see it with my own eyes
newt: can you guys chill out
minho: no fr im meditating
y/n: can we talk about how newts name is newt again
tommy: y/n stop
be respectful of other cultures
minho: what culture????
british white man????
newt: my parents hate me i get it
y/n: doesn’t ur sister have a normal name
newt: ig
it’s sonya
minho: 💀💀💀💀
old lady ahh name
newt: u literally have a crush on her die
y/n: WOAHHHH
tommy: HEYYYY CUSSER
newt: cusser ??
tommy: yes you cussed
newt: i just said die
tommy: biggest cuss word of all time
newt: you make my head hurt like in the realest most tangeable way possible
minho: so like a real headache
y/n: u do that to me minho
minho: bro’s mad she has a goated best friend ?? wtf
y/n: and who’s this goated best friend???? bc it ain’t you
minho: -_____-
tommy: it’s me :33
y/n: ^^ literally
minho: ok newt ur my best friend
newt: i don’t pick best friends
y/n: what
minho: what
tommy: what??
y/n: well why not
newt: because of situations like these
y/n: it’s ok guys he didn’t say me bc he doesn’t want to hurt ur feelings 😂😂
minho: me when im a liar
tommy: well of course it’s me
im always there for newt
some even think we have a relationship that’s more than friends at times ❤️
minho: woah woah woah there
newt: it’s true
tommy: see im his best friend
newt: no not that part
this old woman at the library told me she ‘supports us’ when tommy came to visit the other day
y/n: and that woman was me
newt: you are quite old
y/n: WHAT UR OLDER THAN ME
tommy: kind of hurt right now :/
minho: you’ll get over it
we all know im his bestie
y/n: yeah. gay best friend
minho: oh so gays an insult now nice i know where u stand
screenshotting this for when you get famous and i have to expose you
y/n: omg you think i’ll be famous awww <33
tommy: it’s ok she’s a bit gay like all of us
i give her the pass
minho: who is all of us
tommy: you heard me
im gayest but.. easily swayed ;)
newt: the fuck are you talking about
minho: ok bisexual twinkatron 5000
y/n: a bit gay??? last person i dated was a woman im a box muncher more than you guys
newt: box muncher is fucking crazy
minho: newt you’re supposed to like,..,., say how you do it too
newt: why would i say that
minho: girls like that quality in a man
y/n: what are you even talking about
newt: i don’t like you minho
tommy: yaaas you love him
newt: not sure how i feel about you either
tommy: 😞☹️
minho: dont care didn't ask plus ur british
alby: Hey y’all
newt: there’s my best friend hey buddy
minho: WHAT
y/n: WHAT
tommy: AWWWW
alby: The fuck
Uhhh hey close friend of mine
newt: wow.
minho: see how that feels?
not so good
y/n: i can show you smth that feels good 😛
tommy: :////
minho: WTF?
newt: HUH
alby: girl..
y/n: KIDDING EW EW EWRWEWEWW SORRY IM SORRY OLEASE
im gonna BARFFFFFFF
I WAS JUST BEING SILLY AND RELATABLE
minho: ok now that’s just rude
newt: valid reaction to a preventable circumstance
minho: bro said cum
tommy: ??
minho: cirCUMstance 😂😂🙏🙏
alby: This is why you guys have no partners
tommy: omg partners so inclusive ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷
y/n: I’m so sorry for my actions. I’m ashamed over what I did and said. It was vile, inexcusable and inappropriate. I am so sorry. Please forgive me.
alby: Not the apology tour
minho: ok well it wasn’t THAT bad
newt: no that was needed actually
tommy: you sound like a kpop idol in a scandal
y/n: if i was i’d say
Take care and try not to catch a cold! Fighting!
tommy: too accurate
minho: aw hell naw twice’s 13th member
y/n: damn you know the amount of members
newt: you say that as if he doesn’t have a poster of them above his bed
y/n: oh……
minho: OK ENOUGH
IM GOING TO BED
y/n: ITS THE AFTERNOON
newt: just let him go be with his poster
alby: He’s cranky he needs a nap
newt: that one unemployed friend at 12 pm on a tuesday
minho: shut
tommy: a nap sounds great right now
y/n: true i got 5 hours of sleep
newt: more than me
minho: bro always has to complain
newt: i complain? look at your texts
y/n: i can get you to sleep real fast
newt: who me or minho
y/n: EWWWW DONT MENTION MINHO
minho: IM RIGHT HERE
alby: Notice how she didn’t get grossed out about Newt
Interesting
minho: i know bro is geeked
y/n: im just being silly!
tommy: i’ll show you silly
:P !!!!
newt: wtf is that
im not geeked im locked in
y/n: stop talking like minho i swear
tommy: that’s me being silly :PPPP
y/n: girl… do me a favor
tommy: ok what is it?
y/n: click the button on the side of ur phone real quick
tommy: oh it locked the screen i think i pressed the wrong button? im confused
y/n: no no that’s the right button
now put the phone down
and walk away
newt: now who’s sounding like minho
-
heh.. hey.. (read that like the tiktok audio of that one lady walking into a party u know what im talking abt?!) im so sorry ive been away so long and making everyone pull their hair and wait in agony and anticipation bc u love my story (manifesting). i miss writing so im gonna try and keep up this time. also i didn't tag anyone bc idk who does and doesn't care anymore LMAOOO lmk if u wanna be tagged in the next chapter tehe
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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 2 days ago
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Au where female izuku is trained by batman? And gets to kick Bakugou’s but Quirkless style?
"Do you feel better?" Bruce asked Izumi as they sat in the ice cream shop. Izumi looked at her strawberry flavoured dessert, wondering the same thing.
"I... I think I do. I think I feel way better knowing I beat him up so hard he had to go to the emergency room," confessed Izumi. "That makes me as bad as him."
"Bakugou Katsuki tormented you for years, and even when I moved you to a new school, he continued to hunt you down to harass you. When you got him labelled as a stalker, and he couldn't turn it around on you since you obviously weren't going out of your way to finding him, he got angry," Bruce said calmly. "He attacked you, you defended. You're not like him."
"I felt good hurting him," Izumi whispered.
"And I doubt he torments himself thinking about how he hurt you," Bruce refuted.
He had met Izumi when the wide-eyed girl excitedly asked for his autograph after an interview he had in Japan. He'd moved there for a few years to help out with the Alll for One case, being a detective-based hero himself. His outright saying he was Quirkless, as was most of his team back home, and that it didn't make him weak had inspired the girl. Her mother was still worried but admitted that since there was already a Quirkless hero, it soothed some fears.
Then Midoriya Inko died in a senseless case of violence, a bag snatcher. Bruce... well, Dick already teased him enough for it. He took in Izumi and began training her. Not everyone agreed, but money always talked.
Like it did now. The Bakugou family were furious their son was hurt. They'd made noises about sueing, however Bruce told them he would happily take the time to countersue for every single thing their son did to Izumi, and unlike Inko who had attempted only to be threatened with a long court case, he had the money to do it.
(He somewhat treasured their looks to his serious question of why they felt that they'd been friends with Inko after that. And why they had been shocked Inko wrote they were to never have custody.)
Bruce ate his own ice cream as Izumi came to terms with her inner demons. He'd let her think, and then it was back to training.
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itsabouttimex2 · 2 days ago
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Alright, I don’t want to fearmonger, but I’m in general not happy about the way that Janitor.AI is handling itself, especially in the face of what seems to be a potential shutdown.
(Take the time to copy the details of your favorite bots into a document, if you’re afraid of losing them.)
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There’s always been an air of incompetence to the communication between the j.ai developers and their community from even the very beginning.
Just because your current work is a “passion project” doesn’t mean you get to throw your ass down and exempt yourself from basic communication with the community whose presence is required to give your site worth, the community who has been begging to support you in some way through cosmetics or donations or subscriptions.
But that was always an “up in the air” thing, a “maybe we’ll get to it thing”, a “that’s for later thing”.
And now it’s life or death?
Now, after months of begging to throw money at this service to offer it a sort of continued stability, and after months of getting brushed off with a vague and non-transparent “investors”, the site is in danger of being tanked in a month?
And we’re not even being told why or how the situation has grown so dire so quickly, why the scenario has shifted from a “Don’t worry about it, donations and subscriptions are a maybe, we’ve got investors :)” thing to a suddenly “Money now or site dies :( don’t let us lose our baby” thing.
I don’t believe that. I don’t believe that, besides a biblical level of incompetence, everything goes from a steady, well-oiled machine to a ramshackle engine a month out from exploding like a dying star, without even a single warning sign that things had gotten bad.
Look, I don’t want to go on this massive rant, or scare everyone into thinking that a service they love is about to crash and burn. That would be a dick move. But I do want to remind everyone, all of you- Janitor.AI was shady from the start.
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(If my math is correct, that’s a 5455.56 percent price increase!)
(Semafor Article)
(Wikipedia Page)
Call me stupid and criticize my unnecessary red circles if you must, but I don’t think convicted criminal, medical price-gouging shitheads should be involved with a project at all, even if they’re cut later! And I certainly think being friends with those price-gouging shitheads says something about the quality of one’s character!
I apologize for this horribly disjointed and fractured post, I really do. There’s no real point about this other than to vent my displeasure about a site that relies entirely on its users to be worthwhile and valuable being so uncommunicative and shady.
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ajarofbees · 3 days ago
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TAASH & FIORE: even from the start i think the both of them kind of connected a bit as the two youngest members of the gang--i thiiiiiink taash is a few years younger but its nice to know someone your own age. taash sometimes looks down (feefee is the second shortest member of the gang! this is important to me!) and sees him as an excitable puppy running around in circles and think to themselves: 'huh. guess this is what it feels like to have a younger brother.'
they do friendly wrestling matches and yes the incredible height difference makes it very funny to watch.
while its not super apparent at first glance, i think they bond over having multiple parts of their identities: taash and their dual rivaini/qunari heritage as well as figuring out themselves, and feefee being a city elf and a grey warden (and being from southern thedas). its not a 1 to 1 thing but its a nice bridge where they can meet and understand each other a bit.
on a more lighthearted note, when taash finds out feefee actually knows how to swim and loves swimming, its GREAT. time to hit the rivaini beaches and start a splash fight with whoever else tagged along. they even show him a passing by rialto greenback from a distance, which is always very cool.
as for each other's 'important people'; feefee does get a little bit how complicated their relationship and feeligns about shathaan are--his own parents were Not Super Thrilled about him joining the grey wardens in the past and all. for taash's part--well, they already gave him a little bit of a shovel talk, but they already figured he and lace were a good pair. they do have a working pair of eyes, after all. as for his admiration for the inquisitor.... well, taash is thankfully very blunt and practical. they would probably point out that inquisitor lavellan is just a person and she probably had enough of people treating her like an idol.
overall, theyre friends!!! on the surface they seem like a little bit mismatched of a duo but when you look closer they have a lot of similarities that makes them connect with each other. though they officially stay with the lords, when its all over taash accompanies fiore when he finally returns to wycome. after all, he was there for them, they'll do the same in return. :D
Taash: So. How'd you get those? Fiore: Huh? Get what? Taash: Those scars on your face. Unless you don't wanna' talk about 'em. I'm not gonna' force you if it's a bad memory. Fiore: Haha, you know, I kind of forget they're there a lot of the time! Weird, right? I'll be honest, I don't really remember a lot when I got them--apparently I was mostly out of my mind with fever or somethin'. Taash: That sounds rough. Was it Grey Warden stuff? Fiore: Nah, I got this when I wasn't even a teenager--Ventori set up some plot in my hometown and I accidentally dislodged a piece of red lyrium that exploded. Pretty crazy, right? Haha, luckily Keeper Istamaethoriel was able to heal me up. Taash: Oh. That sucks. That Ventori did that I mean. I'm glad you survived it.
other rook bits:
-hakiem and taash sometimes have "important Lords business" which is just him experimenting with their fire breath to make more stuff explode. its scientific because he (sometimes) writes stuff down.
-in the beginning, dorothea would default a bit to treating taash like dietlinde, since the two are a little similar.
-dietlinde and taash routinely arm wrestle in the dining room.
-bacchus is extremely tickled by taash's admiration for the crows and the stories shathaan told baby taash. he also the main source for Fun Crow Stories, being completely willing to share embarrassing annecdotes about everyone he knows.
-vehris and taash have similar ways of speaking--though vehris is more quiet and taash is more to the point/not mincing words--so they get along well.
-cvetka ends up a little bit as the Cool Advice Giver like she was with feefee. many shenanigans are to be had. taash opens her eyes to a new career in dragonslaying, if the blights are ending.
-taash very bluntly tells dionysus his guitar playing and singing suck. he thinks this is so funny he falls off of his chair. they'll also toss him as a combat move.
Rook Introduction Hour 2.24.25
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Good morning, everyone! Good news: Taash Week is coming up on @datvcompanionweeks! It will be from Monday, March 10th - Sunday, March 16th! Only TWO WEEKS left!
To celebrate, today's Intro Hour will be centered around Taash!
How it works: I ask you a question about your Rook(s) and you answer it with as much brevity or verbosity as you desire. You can do this whenever you want, and I’ll reblog it + add some comments! There’s no time limit— if you want to do the older ones, they are collected here! (The post is updated on Fridays!)
Today's Question(s): What is your Rook's relationship with Taash? What do they like about them? Do they have a lot of experiences in common? What do Rook and Taash enjoy doing together? How does Rook help Taash work through their issues during the game? When Elgar'nan is defeated, do they continue to hang out-- does Rook continue to help Taash with their problems? How does Taash help Rook, in return? What do Taash and Rook think about the most important people in each other's lives? Lastly, if you want, write a unique banter between Taash and your Rook!
Answer whatever you like, and have fun!
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babymorte · 2 months ago
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trying to decide if i want to keep the orange or try something totally different for the new year
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crossbackpoke-check · 24 days ago
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blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)
"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie
#liv in the replies#if i were insane there would be an appendix to this called telling the bees however i finished this at 3am yesterday its nearly midnight &#my cutoff is when my ahl asg stream cuts. GOD by now i should know when i save a poem like hmm. not applicable but god it'd be perfect#THAT'S A CURSE. DON'T PUT IT IN THE DOCUMENT. DON'T SAVE IT. FORGET YOU READ IT. IT'S A CURSE!! <- things i should've told myself when i#went to read bees was already like 👀 &then the first line was FUCKING CLAUDE!!!!! anyway. sorry also this is like. insanely long but ALSO#regarding mf claude. the first picture is a leftover from the claude edit i made years ago so that feels GREAT and BEAUTIFUL & also for me#as ever y'all will be getting a full breakdown. starting with what i regularly have a breakdown about every time i see it which is joelle's#james 1:12 tattoo which if u use the king james version (gay) is blessed is he who perseveres under trial because having stood the test he#will receive the crown of life the lord has promised to those who love him. which i always go blessed is he who perseveres // for those who#love him. and that's joel. ignoring him getting it then getting sent down on his birthday IGNORING IT. also we know the frosty/maple leafs#hahaha fuck the flyers lore right? good. that's morgan and his dad also bc i love a baby picture & it was perfect. also the dave isaac pic#next was in an article talking about morgan 'stung' by draft camp. shut UP. i have an alt for tells him with claude and ALSO hate the#elephant w/phil bc myesie u fuckin leaf-eater (giraffe) but i love the composition of that jake shot & had to use it (it was also almost#tells him) with thylacine jakey frog nolan also raff the extinct whale bc i needed him here. if my editing on incapable of joy is bad no on#tell me i did some SHENANIGANS to put morgan in there & color-pick/alter his jersey. new skill. i think euphoria is one of my favorite for#the sake of pride night but ALSO that polaroid kills me very time &they're so stoners contemplate the universe but ALSO i love transcendenc#so that whole three photo string i think is my favorite. and i was in looking at these like listen okay it's okay there are only so many#photos in the world. you can repeat from others you've seen before. except ALSO there's so many of these freaks together do you separate#and every time i was like there can't be more there was more. don't ask the number of back-ups for the sweetest blossom/pinch/ruffle sets#okay also the ready to be stung one was a surprise favorite fit for me because i love that line but wasn't sure how to convey it? so it's o#i think with how morgan's face is and the almost of it all. yes joel hardest trier is in there purely for me i do have an alt but. how coul#u doubt him. insert sasha's tweet abt how much joel loves philly but all his quotes have been abt being excited for morgan to have a fresh#start. AND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN CALGARY AND YOU'RE STILL INSEPARABLE god i literally googled frost farabee calgary to find the last#blessed [because. heard but not seen you know of everyone traded but you went together. not seen. (which ties into the terrible appendix)]#and IT DIDN'T EVEN TAKE ME TWO MINUTES TO FIND THAT!!! WHAT DO YOU MEANNN anyway. sorry again it's so long & also i will be vanishing a wee#& a half after posting [redacted] is kicking my ass & im doing [redacted fun things WAIT ACTUALLY U CAN KNOW ONE i'm seeing hippo campus]#morgan frost#joel farabee#philadelphia flyers#calgary flames
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dukeofthomas · 6 months ago
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I'm so mad that so far the only good robin!jason content i've ever found is his original run. Everything i've seen since has just been making him out to be the Angry Bad Problem Child and victim blaming him for dying. How is it that the only fucking good characterization of him is 20 issues from the 1980s
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#jaybin#robin jason todd#i love jaybin so much but by god there is no fucking content#ppl are just obsessed w making him out to be Bad and Angry to make him becoming red hood make more sense in their heads#look thats what he was always going to be. that what he was always on the track for. look at how angry and unstable he was#SHUT UPPP#from comics anything told to me abt his time as robin after his death means nothing to me#everyone has a different version of canon in their mind and mine will never include a single bit of info abt jaybin said after his death#i have the most horrible brainrotting ''he would not fucking say that'' abt jaybin. nobody gets him like i dooo#<- said as someone who has been angry and problematic and difficult since a young age bc of trauma and mental illness and shit#AND JASON WASNT EVEN HALF AS BAD AS ME#im gonna go reread his og robin run. my safe space#sorry im being soooo annoying abt jaybin rn i just. i love him#i feel like most people only see jaybin as the precursor to red hood#jaybin is only worth something as the backstory of red hood#which like. its fine to like the red hood version of him most#but i like jaybin :( he's my robin. like if there's a robin in a story i'd want it to be jason#so many fics would be sooo good to me if they did not unnecessarily have jason arguing with bruce abt the no-kill thing while STILL ROBIN??#like what are we doing thereeee#ok sorry im done being annoying and venty and whiny now
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mysicksecrets · 10 months ago
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sometimes i think about my professor that used to like lowkey have a crush on me (he was at least 55.) last semester and every time i tell my friends about the stuff he did towards me i realize how u incredibly not normal that was
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x-crowmancer-x · 9 months ago
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OKAY RANT ON VIVZIEPOP SCROLL PAST IF YOU DONT CARE
--------------------
I like Viv as an artist, shes inspired me since frickin middleschool with her animations, character designs, and now 2 shows holy crap. I just really wish she'd get off social media for her own mental health cuz good god it's not great to see a whole thread of tweets arguing with someone about the dislike of fanfiction having homophobic undertones its just... agdhdh Viv is a pretty controversial person due to unfortunate past events and having shows that present some darker subject matter. Honestly? I want to see Viv not just move past the previous controversy, but learn from it to be better. Its totally fair tho if you think the handling of certain topics arent done well, there are things people will have preference over. And I dont give a fuck about shipping, I dont wanna see it, frankly. If you're doin somethin shady with it and I see it I'm certainly not going to like it and I'll do my best to not interact with you, but I think we should make tagging things just a common thing? Keeps things organized and people can intake what they want while the stuff they dont want is not being shown to them. Same goes with headcanons they're someone imagining something, they arent holding the creators hostage to make it canon. Canon is silly anyways! Both the OG and a headcanon can exist because AUs and headcanons are just another version of the thing. Headcanons arent going to change the episodes, they'll still be the same way the creators made it. So like... chill.
Just as long as it has no mental or physical negative implications or intent against actual living people I will add.
Dont harrass actors because they play a villian you need to separate fiction and reality it's literally their job to pretend to be someone else.
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thekimspoblog · 9 months ago
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Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"
Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"
Demon: "You're a bad writer"
Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"
Demon: "You're a bad leader"
Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"
#joking aside the reason I suck at helping people is probably not dissimilar from why I'm bad at driving#the joke is “having good ideas which would work if people let you boss them around” and#“having enough charisma to persuade people to let you boss them around” are two different skills and I don't have nearly enough patience#for the latter#but no really it makes me deeply insecure seeing sycophants rally around the most transparently incompetent and self-interested POS people#and meanwhile I'm getting called shrill and presumptuous for pointing out that the left-wing is poorly organized and I could do it better#can we agree it's at least a little bit because I have aspergers and no penis?#like I realize what I'm doing is the political equivalent of “but I'm such a nice guy!” and I'm literally complaining that no one#respects ma authoritah#but just saying: maybe I wouldn't come off as such a petulant misanthrope#if I wasn't constantly being asked to fix problems that could have been avoided if everyone listened to me in the first place#“nobody likes an i-told-you-so” yeah that's why democracies keep falling to fascism cus you want someone pleasant over someone correct#at the same time sooner or later you have to look in the mirror#and I can count the group projects I've successfully headed on one hand; maybe it's me#if it was just that people don't listen to me than yeah this would just mean I have an ego#but there are plenty of women the left could be rallying around and it doesn't because of minor scandals and anarchist ideals#it's stupid and I'm becoming a tankie just because i'm sick of the idea#that political goals can be accomplished without a clear chain of commmand#i don't need to be the leader but WE NEED A LEADER#the hatian revolution succeeded because Toussaint Louverture organized random slave rioting into an actual army#and I just wish I had that kind of magic myself but I might already be too bitter#ftr this isn't in response to anything that happened recently I'm just still mad thinking about an anarchist group I tried to join#on facebook five years ago where I asked point blank what the marching orders were and got blocked for being “obviously a cop”#and the mod comes at me with “anarchists don't have leaders IDIOT”#yeah well you're the guys always saying you only oppose UNJUST hierarchies idiot!#excuse me for thinking you guys had a plan beyond perpetual infighting#not everyone asking blunt questions about the anarchist platform are feds you guys are just paranoid and ableist#and when you block people for asking what game plan is it really sounds like you just plain don't have one (which is depressing)#I don't care how many books there are about how anarchism is more than just “wanting a free-for-all”#if you attack anyone who tries to impose a hierarchy just to get shit done it really seems like that first impression of
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fragglerockopinions · 2 years ago
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I'm like. actively being abused at home. What do I even do about that.
#://#Today she said I am disgusting and unapproachable and will never have friends or find love because I make everyone I meet uncomfortable#Because I don't shave my legs#When I told her I keep blacking out from my chronic pain she said 'that's a little dramatic'#When I told her I should probably go to the hospital for that she shushed me because she was trying to watch her fuckin. Fringe show#Always with the shushing. Every time I speak :((#She said I should go out & do something and quit being so lazy. So i said I would ride my bike but the tire is flat#She said 'why are you so useless' :((#When I was projectile vomiting for three days I told her I had a 104°F temperature and she said 'darn'#I asked if she wanted to watch Ponyo with me and she said 'oh my god I don't want to watch your stupid crap shit'#When I dropped a cup of gatorade and mopped it up (agony for chronic pain btw) she felt where it was still sticky and said#I'm so stupid and it's my fault we have ants (we do not have ants)#So I said 'yeah mommy I think my fine motor skills are getting worse I can't hold things or swallow very well'#She said 'have you tried paying attention??' :((((#I told her I had a sunburn and it hurt and she said 'youre so needy'#I got beat up in middle school and I was crying about it and she said it was all my fault because I was annoying#I was also sexually assaulted that same week but after the way she responded to that I was not going to tell her#One time when we were at the doctor and checked yes for suicidal thoughts she started screaming and crying#About how much we hate her and think she is a bad mother and how ungrateful we are#If I read this list to her she would say I was making it up and trying to make her look like a bad evil person#Because she is!!! She insults and belittles me so much I genuinely wish she would just beat my ass instead#I'm 20 years old why are you talking to me this way#I know it's all verbal abuse but. I'm so fucking miserable I want to die living here#Oh wait one time she strangled my little sibling because they complained about finding blood in their can of tuna
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kimtaegis · 2 years ago
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himalayaan-flowers · 4 months ago
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#if i weren't an anti natalist at this point i wish my brother and his wife would have children#then i'd feel less bad about ending everything once my parents are no longer here#bc he'd have a new family#ughhhhhhhhhhh i've been here 28 years and i can't stand it i don't want another 50 years of this#it's so ridiculous there are people fighting for their lives and i just want to be dead#like i really truly want that#i don't want to get old and even worse looking#i don't want to “settle” into a miserable relationship#i don't want to spend another 50 years hating everything about myself and being jealous of others and working a boring job#trying to force myself to remember to eat and doing chores and being in physical pain and being told to be grateful things aren't worse#worrying about everyone else#feeling guilty for absolutely everything#just watching as everyone else lives their lives#there is nothing whatsoever that could possibly change my mind i'd always choose “no life” over this life#but i'm so TRAPPED#i know i'm a broken record but literally what else can i do but repeat myself#it's horrible having no way out bc you can't stand to cause your family pain#and then i think#am i actually THAT bad#because if i were totally heartless i wouldn't care right????#i would just do it without worrying about them#which makes me think i can't be completely devoid of compassion#so then why?????#it feels like i HAVE to be a bad person otherwise why would i be in this situation#even people in warzones have a will to live#i don't starve or live in a warzone#but people living in famine or through war STILL have the will to live???#i have none#i don't get it
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