#everybody hating on william miles

[theguardianwriter]

Desmond surrounded by three surprisingly over protective master assassins.

Desmond: Guys my dad is not that bad.

Frisk sitting across the room: your sperm donor is dick.

Desmond: FRISK YOU'RE NOT IN THIS CONVERSATION. Guys really is not that bad.

Bayek: Desmond don't try justifying that man.

Ezio: he right, William does not deserve the title of father.

Altaïr: I'm already sharpening my blades for him.

Desmond: come on, Frisk just exaggerated some of the events.

Frisk: NO I DIDN'T

Desmond: SHUT IT, I'm fine.

All three master assassin eyeing Desmond with a critical eye.

Altaïr: Then explain the scarring on your back

Ezio: And how you flinch when I raise my hand.

Bayek: And the way you lend into any positive touch.

Desmond: you all make it sound like I been abused

Bayek, Frisk, Altaïr, Ezio: you were!

Desmond: damn.

[firenati0n]

song tag games (it's a 2 in 1!) <3

hello! so sorry i have been so horrifically behind in the lil games!! thank you for tagging me ily this is so fun! here is a twofer :D

fave song from the list game:

rules: put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for which one they like the most!

ten songs!

rules: hit shuffle on a playlist and post the first ten songs.

i shuffled my proposal au playlist hehe:

I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie

Hate That You Know Me - Bleachers

Don't You (Forget About Me)

Miracles Happen - Myra

Just Asking - Aquilo

Carry On - Josef Salvat

Everybody Talks - Neon Trees

The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

Dancing in the Moonlight - Toploader

Until I Found You - Stephen Sanchez

xoxo roop

+ open tag + tagging back below the cut:

i have been so behind on my tag games fr i am so so sorry but thank you to @run-for-chamo-miles @gay-flyboys @onward--upward @cha-melodius @benwvatt

@cultofsappho @14carrotghoul @blueeyedgrlwrites @myheartalivewrites @saturntheday

@littlemisskittentoes @bigassbowlingballhead @leaves-of-laurelin @porcelainmortal @sparklepocalypse

@suseagull04 @everwitch-magiks @caterpills @changinghearts @energievie

@zwiazdziarka @alasse9 @kiwiana-writes @whimsymanaged @kiwiana-writes

@wordsofhoneydew @anincompletelist @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @orchidscript @welcometololaland

@cricketnationrise @celeritas2997 @myheartalivewrites @nontoxic-writes

[puhpandas]

Evan and Greg are basically your oc's!, what is your interpretation of Micheal in the modern au. Also how does mike not see Evan as a person?

Also flashlight duo is super cute

Has Evan ever been bullied at school?

the ocification beam hit them too hard...

I view Michael in my flashlight duo universe as being like. not how a lot of people portray him. as in he doesnt lash out for a reason. he isnt acting that way towards Evan because William told him to.

it's for sure affected by William's own actions, but as in Michael subconsciously learned those things. he isn't even on William's side really. he sucks as a father to both of them. it's just that michael doesnt respect Evan enough to see him as someone who is supposed to be on his side

Michael subconsciously learned growing up that everything Evan is is bad. and the cool people his age see people like Evan as weak, so he does too.

he lacks any emotional maturity, so a lot of his actions towards Evan are out of his own boredom and resent. he genuinely thinks his reactions are funny. if he ever did realize what he did was wrong, he would have to actually realize. he knows fully that what he does hurts Evan. he just doesn't care. he hasn't developed the intuition he needs to care. you know?

and Michael is around 16 if evan is 12. it's not that hes too young to understand, it's the lack of good parenting, or literally parenting in general. if Evans life is hell because everyone around him hates him, then that means its true. it means the people in hurricane dont like people like Evan (a boy who at his age should be getting manlier, but isnt. sensitive and emotional and physically small and lanky. evan literally has anxiety and paranoia and is neurodivergent and people dont really acknowledge that but they notice. and they don't like it)

the people in their town suck and are mean and so is Michael's father. so of course hes going to stick to what hes been taught and to everybody else who also believes it and is on his side. he was never taught that what hes doing is wrong. hes a bad person but it's a product of horrible parenting and the worst town in the world

in contrast to Michael, in the neglect and bullying Evan has faced its made him kinder. he is the one facing it so he wants to be kind to others instead of being like the people he hates.

I dont want to say he would be more in tune with his emotions than Michael because he wouldn't be. before Gregory, he was so unstable and miserable he was just a big ball of anxiety and emotions. he didnt understand his emotions and have that country mile on Michael's own emotional maturity because he didnt have it in him to learn

and by that I mean he didnt even like himself enough to want to help himself. hed been taught that theres fundamentally something wrong with him that makes him bad and weird and not like anyone else who's impossible to 'fix'. and hed been hearing that since he was a young kid, so of course hed believe it.

but then Gregory comes alone and slowly tries to strip away what Evan had been taught just by being kind to him and repeating kind things. the opposite of what everyone else did.

and that is what makes Evan begin to change for the better. the first thing he learns is that Gregory doesn't think something is super wrong with him that makes him bad and stupid so he starts to believe it a little, too. he begins to see how maybe how hes being treated is unfair and its him seeing himself as worthy of kindness that makes him upset on his own behalf. and what that means is he has better self esteem when before he was so insecure he could never even defend himself a little bit

and its after he gains some respect for himself that he learns how to help himself. he actually thinks he deserves it now, so with his support system in Gregory and his family he learns how he works. he learns what his phobias are and what sets him off and how to calm himself down. and of course he hoped all the way through that changing could be what 'fixes' him and the people around him wouldnt hate him so much. but like I said before its that self respect that confirms it's for himself and not for others

of course that stuff doesnt go away, but he improves. the people around him do notice. they dont care enough to say anything, they're more just suprised or happy hes shutting up in that mean way of theirs. but I think after a while of Evan being comfortable with Gregory and improving himself he would one day just snap.

before, he had layers and layers of nervousness and fear and anxiety and insecurity stopping his very high emotions from boiling over. and with the newfound respect for himself comes the anger on his own behalf of how hes treated.

so i feel like one day he would just blow up with all the emotion without the insane amount of fear stopping him. and it doesnt help, not really.

before, evan wanted to please michael and his father. but now that he wants them to know how much he hates them and how much they hurt him, they are pleased.

he gained more respect but in the worst way. not the way he wanted.

but back to their relationship, I think post-all of this, evan wouldnt want anything to do with him. let's say Michael does have a wake up call when they're both older. hes already ruined his relationship so much its unsalvageable. he caused evan to develop fundamental issues rooted deep (anxiety and paranoia, general things he learned about the world and certain people/groups and traits that he'll have to remind himself arent true) inside of him.

his family had their chance and they blew it hard. evan is definitely in the right to want nothing to do with him or William and to continue growing up and living and laughing with his actual family in his heart. they never get to make it official, but that doesn't matter.

anyway I went on like. a lot lol. for anyone who havent read my oneshot series this is based completely off of that au of mine and in my mind is canon to every oneshot if you do read them. thanks for enabling me to talk about flashlight duo lol you can tell I put so much thought into them every day its crazy

edit: to answer your actual questions lol: it's not that Michael literally doesn't see Evan as a human person, it's that he doesnt respect him enough to treat him with human respect. you know? everything evan is he has been taught is bad and worthless so that's what he thinks. so by extension evan is too

and yeah evan does get bullied at school. I always imagined it was less bullies pushing him into lockers and stealing his lunch money (Williams ass does not give him lunch money let's be real) and more that they just treat him awful. hes either invisible or in the way and then they dont care to be super rude to him. they dont just spout their exact thought process out but they all think of him badly and view him as a big joke. its less blatant meanness and more just treating him awful in general and that's what makes Evan think its normal and that hes asking for it when its not.

[hazstur]

do u have any sam rockwell films you'd recommend….

i've downloaded: moon (seen before) box of moonlight confessions of a dangerous mind everybody's fine galaxy quest (seen before) matchstick men (seen before) seven psychopaths (seen before) snow angels three billboards (seen before) mr right (looks so fucking silly i cant wait for this one)

trying very hard to download better living through chemistry and piccadilly jim but torrent sites r failing me

also i saw he's gonna be in another yet untitled martin mcdonagh film with oscar isaac and christopher walken… slay

i really liked mr right it was VERY silly but he and anna have such good chemistry in it

one i'd really recommend is Laggies! he plays a very tired very hot single dad and he and kiera knightly are extremely sexy together because they are sam rockwell and kiera knightly

The Way Way Back was cute, it's a coming of age film where babygirl plays a lifeguard at a water park who takes this kid under his wing for the summer and teaches him to give less of a fuck, he and maya rudolph flirt a lot and steve carell and toni collette are in it, also here are some choice reviews from letterboxd

let's see ummmmm oh Jojo Rabbit was great! i know a lot of people hate it but they're wrong (if you don't like it you're so correct and valid in your opinion), sam's really really excellent in it and he's blind in one eye and i have a big thing for that (he does play a nazi (who's gay for alfie allen and i assume just gay in general but mostly for alfie allen) which i do not have a thing for)

he stars in Choke as a sex addict which is a novel by chuck palahniuk and in the film adaptation sam plays a sex addict, it is not a good movie but sam rockwell does play a sex addict in this, the sex addict movie in which sam rockwell stars

admittedly there are a lot i haven't seen, here are a few that are on my list but aren't on yours:

- Fosse/Verdon (actually a mini series) where he plays the titular bob fosse and gets to show off his very real dancing skills, i've heard michelle williams is also amazing in it

- The Green Mile, based off the stephen king novel, where he plays a murdering psychopath

- The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (I just know he's in it idk what he does)

- The Winning Season, it looks cute, he plays the coach of a girls basketball team

- Richard Jewell, which had one of my favorite trailers I've ever seen, I believe he plays Richard Jewell's lawyer

i genuinely cannot recommend Blue Iguana EXCEPT for sam rockwell being in it, it is a terrible film, however according to letterboxd he and ben schwartz are making another film together so fingers crossed for that

there's so many more things he's been in but he should be in more things in fact i have a contract right here that says 'sam rockwell will be in everything i watch' but i can't get him to sign it no matter how many times i ambush him or break into his home

[kaiyahh21]

When love finds you

loser!ellie fem!reader, I wanted to post this story bc it has been in my drafts for literally monthsss😞 warnings:, may come as offensive to people, if so I’m sorry😭😭

ellie Williams couldn’t hide her disdain for cheerleading. the incessant cheers, the forced smiles, and the meticulous routines were all elements she found utterly irksome. to Ellie, the entire cheerleading culture seemed like a superficial spectacle, a stark contrast to her own down-to-earth demeanor.

she often rolled her eyes at the cheerleaders’ pep rallies and cringed at their overly enthusiastic chants. for ellie, the whole cheerleading squad embodied everything she despised about conformity and artificial enthusiasm. as a result, she made it a point to distance herself from anything cheer-related

she always wore her baggy jeans or her ripped ones, everyday with her beat up converse. her friends looked the exact same as her, the so called “popular girls” call them emo, as if they don’t have style.

Dina and Jesse walked over to Ellie and started talking to her. u couldn’t make out what they were saying, since you were atleast half a mile away from them. you saw Ellie look at you, you stared for a minute.. then u noticed that she was looking at you and you quickly looked away.

everybody know that u were more of a stylish and happy person. u were more popular than the popular girls. Ellie always hated cheerleaders, but she always stared at you or walked up to you. it was funny to think that the girl who hated cheerleaders likes the most prissiest one.

after that day, ellie surprisingly walked up to you, some people stared in shock because ellie wasn’t the type to casually walk up to a cheerleader since everybody knew that she hated them. especially after the popular girl Lina clemonte embarrassed her Infront of everybody. Lina was the schools pick me and attention seeker. everybody hated her especially Ellie. Ellie started to talk to you after math class for the past few weeks. you’ve gotten to know her and you knew u started to catch feelings. you didn’t wanna break ur friendship with Ellie, so y kept quiet for a few years.

one day, Ellie texted you asking if u wanted to go out with her, not as a get together, but she meant as a date. your heart was jumping for joy as your thumbs were typing back. text messages with Ellie:

Ellie: hey.. I was wondering if u wanted to go out tonight if u didn’t have any plans..

uhh I don’t know if I have any plans today, atleast not that I know of. and sure id love to go out with you.

ok does 7 sound good?

7 sounds perfect! I’ll be there soon.

a few hours later you get ready and go on your merry way, soon after u get there, you see Ellie standing there waiting for you. u were surprised to see her not in her baggy and raggedy clothes.

You didn’t really expect to see her in actual clothes. it was shocking but u didn’t care that much. she saw you and walked up to you. “hey y/n u look nice” she says with a slight blush, she looks down at her shoes and looks back up once u respond “thanks Ellie, you too” you blushed slightly knowing that she saw u blushing. “let’s go” she says as she holds ur hand and walks to the entrance of the restaurant. when you guys entered, you surprisingly saw the popular girls. Ellie cleared her throat. “ uhm.. well let’s just get a table..” she obviously noticed. you got a table and sat down. the popular girls, lina, Macy, and Gina sat down on the table right across from you. you knew that tonight will be hell.

sorry if this was short😭😭 I’m making part 2 soon!

PART 2 SOON!!

[dastardly-homo-writing]

(Queer) Pride and Prejudice || Chapter Five

Chapter Five: The Lucases Board the Darcy Hate Train

Within a short walk of Longbourn lived a family with whom the Bennets were particularly intimate. Sir William Lucas had been formerly in trade in Fruitville, where he had made a tolerable fortune, and risen to the honour of knighthood by an address to the king during his mayoralty. The distinction had perhaps been felt too strongly. It had given him a disgust to his business, and to his residence in a small market town; and, in quitting them both, he had removed with his family to a house about a mile from Fruitville, denominated from that period Lucas Lodge, where he could think with pleasure of his own importance, and, unshackled by business, occupy himself solely in being civil to all the world. For, though elated by his rank, it did not render him supercilious; on the contrary, he was all attention to everybody. By nature inoffensive, friendly, and obliging, his presentation at St. James’s had made him courteous.

Lady Lucas was a very good kind of woman, not too clever to be a valuable neighbour to Mrs. Bennet. They had several children. The eldest of them, a sensible, intelligent young woman, about twenty-seven, was Lezzie’s intimate friend. But not in that way. Though Lezzie had admittedly been quite infatuated with her, as one often is with older women, for a full year in her adolescence.

That the Miss Lucases and the Miss Bennets should meet to talk over a ball was absolutely necessary; and the morning after the assembly brought the former to Longbourn to hear and to communicate.

“You began the evening well, Charlotte,” said Mrs. Bennet with civil self-command to Miss Lucas. “You were Ms. Bingley’s first choice.”

“Yes; but she seemed to like her second better.”

“Oh! you mean Jane, I suppose, because she danced with her twice. To be sure that did seem as if she admired her—indeed I rather believe she did—I heard something about it—but I hardly know what—something about Mr. Robinson.”

“Perhaps you mean what I overheard between her and Mr. Robinson; did not I mention it to you? Mr. Robinson’s asking her how she liked our Meryton assemblies, and whether she did not think there were a great many pretty women in the room, and which she thought the prettiest? and her answering immediately to the last question: ‘Oh! the eldest Miss Bennet, beyond a doubt; there cannot be two opinions on that point.’ ”

“Upon my word! Well, that is very decided indeed—that does seem as if—but, however, it may all come to nothing, you know.”

“My overhearings were more to the purpose than yours, Lezzie,” said Charlotte. “Ms. Darcy is not so well worth listening to as their friend, are they?—poor, poor Lezzie!—to be only just tolerable.”

“I beg you would not put it into Lezzie’s head to be vexed by their ill-treatment, for they are such a disagreeable person, that it would be quite a misfortune to be liked by them. Mrs. Longfinger told me last night that they sat close to her for half-an-hour without once opening their lips.”

Ah yes, their lips, thought Lezzie mindlessly.

“Are you quite sure, ma’am?—is not there a little mistake?” said Jane. “I certainly saw Ms. Darcy speaking to her.”

“Aye—because she asked them at last how they liked Netherfield, and they could not help answering her; but she said they seemed quite angry at being spoke to.”

“Miss Bingley told me,” said Jane, “that they never speaks much, unless among their intimate acquaintances. With them they are all of a sudden remarkably agreeable.”

“I do not believe a word of it, my dear. If they had been so very agreeable, they would have talked to Mrs. Longfinger. But I can guess how it was; everybody says that they are eat up with pride. And I am not referring to that of the homosexual nature.”

“But of course that is true of them as well,” Lezzie said, voice soft enough to be heard only by her elder sister. Jane held back her laughter. “One could tell even from a distance of a hundred feet,” Lezzie added, glancing over at Jane, who failed to compose her expression.

Jane tapped her shoulder lightly in warning. “Must you be so clever?” she whispered.

“I do not mind their not talking to Mrs. Longfinger,” said Miss Lucas, “but I wish they had danced with Lezzie.”

“Another time, Lezzie,” said her mother, “I would not dance with them, if I were you.”

“I believe, ma’am, I may safely promise you never to dance with them.”

“Their pride,” said Miss Lucas, “does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young person, with family, fortune, everything in their favour, should think highly of themselves. If I may so express it, they has a right to be proud.”

“That is very true,” replied Lezzie, “and I could easily forgive their pride, if they had not mortified mine.”

“Mortified? I believe you mean to say tempted,” Lydia laughed but stilled quickly at her mother’s expression.

“Pride,” observed Mary, who piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections, “is a very common failing, I believe. Though I adore the parades, make no mistake. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed; that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary. Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”

“If I were as rich as Ms. Darcy,” cried a young Lucas, who came with his sisters, “I should not care how proud I was. I would keep a pack of foxhounds, and drink a bottle of wine a day.”

“Then you would drink a great deal more than you ought,” said Mrs. Bennet; “and if I were to see you at it, I should take away your bottle directly.”

The boy protested that she should not; she continued to declare that she would, and the argument ended only with the visit.

[harrison-abbott]

They took the kids up fifty miles north into some obscure part

Of the countryside.

Summer camp. You went into the hills and woods

Of the middle nation. The teachers had to come along

With you, which they most likely hated: whereas the

Parents were joyous to have their kids leave for a week.

You were put in a dorm with three other boys,

Who the teachers sussed as your ‘friends’. When, they

Weren’t, really, because you didn’t have any mates at

That young an age. They only put you with them

Because there were no other misfits to put you with.

In the dorms the kids weren’t allowed to walk around

The rooms at night and they had to be asleep by midnight.

And there was one of the teachers sleeping in his own

Private room down the corridor. And, all of the boys

Just wandered the rooms at night, fucking about, and

They were trading sweets and seeing how far they

Could get away with. Impressively, the teacher only

Work up one time.

Another thing the kids traded with were the Top Trump

Cards. Remember them? The card games where

You battled with each others stats.

You had a pack of those Marvel Superheroes

Top Trump editions, and so everybody liked you

When it came to the game, because that was the best one.

They wouldn’t have come near you other wise.

And so you played with all the classic Marvel characters.

There was Hulk and Thor and Spiderman and the X-Men

Chaps and you got to learn the attributes of each

Character, and learn how to beat your opponent

On whichever card they might have. Fun stuff.

/////

What about the camping stuff?

They took you tree climbing. And you yomped up

This fifty-foot pine which was exhilarating.

But when you tried abseiling it was the first

The first time that you discovered a fear for heights.

It didn’t make sense to you to be perched on a thin

Rope above a cliff. And all of the other enjoyed it

And were able to sail down the cliffface freely,

Whereas it took you minutes to even edge off

Because you were too terrified: and then

Those other kids took the piss

Because you were slow.

/////

Some of the adult camp workers were pretty

Good. Most of them were, actually. Nice people.

They were friendly with the kids, and they

Taught you some cool stuff.

You explored some caves and you

Travelled down the rivers. Kudos to them: because

You would find it hard to deal with a bunch of pre-teens in

A some pretty tough environments.

/////

There were girls at the camp, too: but you were segregated

From them. They stayed on one half of the barracks and your lot

In the other. And then both sexes were all brought together

In the lunch hall, filled with a hundred yammering mouths.

Neither of the sex trusted each other back then because it

Was before puberty. Although you could say that neither

Sex ever trusts each other, whichever age they are …

So the girls were there and you remember fancying some of

Them in an innocent way. But, if the boys disliked you, then

The girls despised you. They thought you were

A total freak.

You think you remember a disco party somewhere

Towards the end of the week. Where they served out

E-number food and they played the pop-classics from the

Early 00s. Steps and S Club 7 and Robbie Williams.

And you were about as out as place in that environment

As, well …

/////

It wasn’t always social misery.

Remember that pine tree bit? There was a lad who went

Up after you did – and he was chuffed that he was able

To reach the apex of the tree like you had. And when he

Got down he hugged you and laughed. That was a nice moment.

/////

And, bizarrely, you didn’t think much about people

Disliking you when you were ten years old.

Because you weren’t intrigued by other people.

You suppose it’s bizarre how you’re more aware of it, writing

About the experiences as an adult, rather than being sensitive

To it at the time. You suppose, you didn’t know you were

A freak when you were ten. Maybe?

/////

You were lucky enough to go to the school camp because

Your mother was able to get a reduced over to send the money

Along. You were on free school meals and child benefit and so on

And the government back then were good enough to provide the

Fund for the camping.

And it was all worth it for the experience.

/////

You remember heading back home along the Scottish motorways.

Just the visuals of the clunky motorways in that big hot bus

With the other children talking behind you and the motorway

Looking alien and bleak and there was a roadside café that didn’t

Look appealing at all.

[shoplifting]

[Transcript: now, I find I’ve frown into a tall child

Half baked, coming of age // falling over the truth

This battle in my head is overdue

The storm maker says “it ain’t so bad” // The dream maker’s gonna make you mad // The spaceman says “everybody look down, it’s all in your mind”

I always knew the world moves on // I just didn’t know it would go without me

That was the turning point // That was one lonely night

You’d better look it over // before you make that leap

It ain’t gon’ work if you don’t want it to

Well now I’m back at home and // I’m looking forward to this life I live // You know it’s gonna haunt me // So hesitation to this life I give

And then one warm summer night // I’ll hear fireworks outside // And I’ll listen to the memories as they // cry, cry, cry

No one will endure // What the sign told them they would

And here’s the picture of the house I’d like to build for us some day // It may seem unrealistic, I’m not very good with my hands

Hurt and grieve but don’t suffer alone // Engage with the pain as a motive

Sometimes I get jealous of Jesus for falling asleep in the middle of the storm and // sometimes you gotta feel like drowning to be reborn and-

Show me a little bit of sunshine coming in my life // When we’re older and it’s over will this be a highlight?

I will go jogging routinely // Calmly and rhythmically run // And when I find that a knife’s sticking out of my side // I’ll pull it out without wondering why

How the most dangerous thing is to love // How you will heal and you’ll rise above

Have you been half-asleep, and have you hear voices? // I’ve heard them calling my name. // Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors? // The voice might be one and the same. // I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it // It’s something that I’m supposed to be

Throw yourself into the unknown // With pace and a fury defiant // Clothe yourself in beauty untold // And see life as a mean to a triumph

You know I was hoping // That I could leave this star-crossed world behind // But when they cut me open // I guess I changed my mind

if it’s gold, I’ll throw it away

If i’m holding out i’m holding cause i // Felt a deeper religion that you ain’t // Willing to fathom cause you’re pigeoned

And there may not be meaning // So find one and seize it // Do not waste yourself on this roof

but don’t give up // this storm is passing

And I know I’m gonna see the light // The smoke will clear out from my eyes // And I know I’m gonna see // All the embers settling down // Making way for fertile ground End transcript.]

First Love/Late Spring - Mitski // Coming of Age - Blondes // Smoke - Joy Oladokun // Spaceman - The Killers // Working for the Knife - Mitski // Magic in the Hamptons - Social House // Fireworks - Mitski // Beware of the Dogs - Stella Donnelley // A Complete List of Fears Ages 5-28 (aprox) - The Yellow Dress // Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths // Rainbow Connection - Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher // FIREWORKS - Miles from Kinshasa // Peace and Hate - The Submarines

[keyboardink]

What type of person would the legends be at a pride parade? like the parent who gives free hugs or the people fully decked out in rainbow clothes.

ooh i love this one!

bloodhound probably set up a little stand on the corner near where the parade is going through. they give away free pronoun pins to anyone who comes up

gibraltar is walking in the parade, wearing a white shirt and blue-striped shorts. he's (platonically, ofc) carrying lifeline on his shoulders, and she's wearing a trans flag around her neck like a cape (going back to the headcanon of her being a trans girl).

pathfinder was given a rainbow flag by lifeline, and although he doesn't really know what to do, he holds it as he stands to the side, watching the parade pass. he claps for everybody who passes by while shouting out "you go, friend! :) you're doing great! :)"

wraith is sitting next to bloodhound, a little pronouns pin attached to her shirt, sipping a drink as she watches the crowd from a distance and waits for her friends to get back. seeing their big grins and hearing the cheers puts a smile on her face.

bangalore was given the offer to walk in the parade as part of the "LGBT Military" float, but she denied it. so instead she stands to the side until a group of teeny gay youngsters come up to her and say "Miss Williams! Miss Williams! I heard about how good of a soldier you are! You're amazing!" and she may get a little teary-eyed at inspiring the younger generation after she signs their pink-and-orange-striped flags.

caustic is at a booth spreading awareness about HIV/AIDS, handing out pamphlets and tote bags to people who donate for the cause.

mirage, assuming this is first pride after he is out, is wearing all rainbow everything. he cloned himself enough times to go and take pictures with like ten civilians at once.

octane is also walking in the parade - well, sprinting, and he gives high-fives to all the people he sees in trans colors or holding the pink-blue-and-white flags.

wattson is on the sidelines, watching the parade go by. she hears some girls behind her say "look at that blonde girl over there! isn't she so pretty?" and being hit on by ladies for the first time makes her blush.

crypto went to grab coffee for his friends before it started, but every café in a five-mile-radius of the parade has a line that goes around the block twice, so he ends up missing most of the festivities.

revenant is not there. i just can't picture him at a pride parade (or in any crowded setting tbh) unless it's to commit mass murder and that's really homophobic so let's not.

loba is decked out in pink, purple, and blue, standing with valkyrie, who is wearing pink shorts with an orange tank top as a subtle nod to her flag. while it's not valkyrie's first pride parade, this is the first time loba has ever been to one. they share a kiss as they watch the floats go by.

rampart probably worked on a lot of the floats, giving them explosive or pyrotechnic details for pizzazz. she watches them go by, proud of her creations.

horizon is the person who gives out free hugs to everyone. after octane and lifeline told her about how many lgbt kids are kicked out of their homes or hated by their parents after coming out, horizon makes herself a shirt that says "FREE MOM HUGS" - she gets hundreds of hugs that day which is bittersweet for her

fuse is standing with rampart, applauding her for her work. lifeline gave him a small pan-pride flag to hold, but he's still a little nervous about being out in public.

[vee-vee-writes]

Hope (Edited/Changed)

(The Hardest Day - Part 2)

Part One & Part Three

A/N: Re-written as I kind of hated the last part and rushed it a bit. I am almost finished the final part but I have a few assignments due for University so it may take me a couple of days

(Y/NN) = your nickname

When Y/NN had showed up at the house of Bilbo Baggins it had been a shock to all but Gandalf the Grey. An unaccompanied darrowdam showing up on the doorstep of a Hobbit far from her home to join a journey of potential death was highly unusual. Expecting the dam, Gandalf ushered her into the dining room to an empty seat.

The two were well acquainted having run into each other several times on their journeys. The young women had oft escaped from the overbearing watch of her fellow clansman, particularly her uncle, into the wilderness. Being brought up versed in negotiation and politics, Gandalf felt she offered an insight that would aid the company in any political situation they got into.

Though Gandalf was certain that had he not invited her, Y/NN would have found her own way to join the journey. Stubbornness was a trait that run strongly throughout her family. Young Y/NN had the stubbornness of her adad and, despite not knowing him well, Gandalf had already witnessed it one too many times. Y/NN's joining would be crucial the company, someone poised to remain calm in stressful situations but would not be afraid to challenge the status quo. Additionally, it would prove quite amusing to watch Thorin and Y/NN bicker Gandalf mused to himself, not anticipating of the headaches it would cause him.

As predicted, Thorin had deeply protested the appearance and joining of a dam to his company. Y/NN was unknown to him, young, and had already shown a propensity to argue back with him when he had voiced his opinion of her joining. However, having none of this Gandalf had quickly put a stop to this, affirming her position in their ranks. Since then, Thorin had gone out of his way to ignore her.

Y/NN was hurt by this but tried her best to ignore it and get on with her life. Despite the precedent set by Thorin, many of the company members had welcomed her straight away. Members such as the brothers, Bofur, Bombur, Ori, and Balin (despite his own reservation) had been the first to welcome her in Bilbo's home. The other company members would come to accept her as the journey continued. Out of all company members, Y/NN had become the closest with Fili and Kili.

Twas' not long into their journey that Thorin's company had encountered the three stone trolls. The company fought hard against their opponents but had been forced to lay down their weapons in the defense of the Hobbit's life. The company had not been happy about this, least of all Thorin. Y/NN felt for the hobbit, he was more of an outcast than she in this gaggle of dwarves.

Now, resting on the ground in their burlap sacks Y/NN watched as Bilbo tried to negotiate for their lives. She heard a grunt from beside her before there was a sharp jolt to her, which ripped her gaze from the scene. Thorin had wiggled from the other side of the bound up darrow to make his way next to her.

Worm your way closer to the rock" Thorin spoke in a firm whisper. Taken aback Y/NN stared at him a moment before doing as he said. Wriggling her way behind Thorin she nestled in between the rock and the bush. Thorin observed her for a moment before crawling in front of her, shielding her from the trolls. The dam was puzzled by his actions, up until this point the two had limited contact so it made no sense to her that he had chosen her of all people to shield. This was made especially perplexing when considering the fact his nephew was among the darrow bound up with them.

From behind Thorin she peaked out to watch as Bilbo negotiated with the Trolls for some time longer. Eventually, Gandalf emerged from the woodlands, splitting a large boulder in half, and exposing the trolls to fatal sunrays. Collective sighs of relief and cheering rung out as Bert, Tom, and William (the trolls) were turned to stone. Each dwarf bound up in a burlap sack was released first so that they could help to hoist their counterparts off the spit over the fire.

After everybody was accounted for and safely set free, Thorin declared that the company would look for the troll hoard before moving on their way. It did not take them long to track down, the smell was evident from a mile away. Members of the company milled through the hoard, each looking for their own treasures. Y/NN smirked a bit to herself, amused by several darrow who had decided to make a 'long term deposit' of gold. Soon after the smell had driven her out of the cave Thorin yelled for the company to move on.

Tentatively Y/NN approached Thorin who was stood on the edge of the company. He watched her approached with a furrowed brow, his stance anything but inviting. Y/NN cleared her throat before awkwardly voicing out, "I just wanted to thank you for looking out for me while we were bound up."

"It was nothing but chivalry, I would not have done it if you were not a dam or so helpless looking" Thorin asserted. Y/NN frowned at his statement before uttering, "well thanks again anyway I guess." Y/NN frowned at his statement. "Uh, well thanks again I guess" she uttered, before making her way back to the company.  

A rough hand shot out and grasped her around her forearm. Y/N whipped around to look at Thorin. His eyes bored into hers. "Who are you? Where do you come from?" he whispered harshly. She looked at him in alarm. Seeming to snap out of whatever state he was in, Thorin dropped her arm and muttered an apology. The dam quickly hurried back to the company.  His actions confused her; she was aware he did not like her but did not understand the grounds for such suspicions. However, Y/NN did not have time to dwell on this as Radagast the Brown burst through the bush and once again the company was on the move.

Taglist: @thewhiteladyofrohan @tschrist1

[cardest]

New Orleans playlist

Hungry for some po boys? Feeling the Mardi Gras vibes for this weekend? This is the ultimate NOLA playlist, right here. Play the songs here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC182dTlE-Gii6ZOO5ZrN1Z1T

Louisiana and New Orleans, all in the one awesome playlist. If there are songs I left out, let me know and I can add those. Or come meet me at Le Bon Temps Roulé  and we’ll listen to this NOLA playlist together with drinks.

LOUISIANA & NEW ORLEANS

001 Bob James - Take Me To The Mardi Gras 002 Earl King - Ain’t no city like New Orleans 003 John Lee Hooker - goin’ to Louisiana 004 Crowbar -  Wrath Of Time By Judgment 005 True Detective - Theme (The Handsome Family - Far From Any Road) 006 EyeHateGod - New Orleans Is The New Vietnam 007 The The Meters -  Chicken Strut 008 Paul McCartney - Live And Let Die (from Live And Let Die) 009 The Rolling Stones - Brown Sugar 010 Lucinda Williams - Crescent City 011 King Hobo -  New Or-Sa-Leans 012 Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting 013 Down - Underneath Everything 014 True Blood Theme Song (Jace Everett - Bad Things) 015 Corrosion of Conformity -  Broken Man 016 The New Orleans Jazz Vipers - I Hope Your Comin' Back To New Orleans 017 Willy DeVille - Jump City 018 Left Side - Gold In New Orleans 017 Necrophagia -  Reborn through Black Mass 018 Johnny Horton -  The Battle Of New Orleans 019 Dr John - Litanie des Saints 020 Foo Fighters - In the Clear 021 Redbone - The Witch Queen Of New Orleans 022 Jucifer - Lautrichienne 023 Danzig - It's a long way back from hell 024 Harry Connick, Jr. -  Oh, My Nola 025 The Gaturs - Gator Bait 026 Jon Bon Jovi - Queen Of New Orleans 027 Cyril Neville -  Gossip 028 Carlos Santana - Black Magic Woman 029 Gentleman June Gardner - It's Gonna Rain 030 Eddy G. Giles - Soul Feeling (Part 1) 031 Tool - Swamp Song 032 Beasts of Bourbon -  Psycho 033 Seratones - Gotta Get To Know Ya 034 Chuck Berry -  You Never Can Tell 035 Grateful Dead - Mississippi Half-Step Uptown Toodleoo 036 Pale Misery - Hope is a Mistake 037 Exhorder - Homicide 038 King James & the Special Men - Special Man Boogie 039 Chuck Carbo -  Can I Be Your Squeeze 040 Amebix - Axeman 041 Tomahawk - Captain Midnight 042 Waylon Jennings - Jambalaya 043 Heavy Lids - Deviate 044 Red Hot Chili Peppers -  Apache Rose Peacock 045 Necrophagia -  Rue Morgue Disciple 046 Johnny Cash -  Big River 047 Albert King -  Laundromat Blues 048 Meklit Feat Preservation Hall Horns - You Are My Luck 049 Le Winston Band  - En haut de la montagne 050 Dr. john - I Thought I Heard New Orleans Say 051 Down -  New Orleans is a dying whore 052 Samhain -  To Walk The Night 053 Creedence Clearwater Revival -  Green River 054 Southern Culture on the Skids -  Voodoo Cadillac 055 Bonnie, Sheila -  You Keep Me Hanging On 056 Warren Lee -  Funky Bell 057 Elf - Annie New Orleans 058 Cannonball Adderley - New Orleans Strut 059 Doug Kershaw - Louisiana Man - New Orleans Version 060 Willy deVille  - Voodoo Charm 061 The Animals -  The House of the Rising Sun 062 Porgy Jones -  The Dapp 063 Lost Bayou Ramblers - Sabine Turnaround 064 IDRIS MUHAMMAD - New Orleans 065 John Lee Hooker - Boogie Chillen No. 2 066 Hank 3 - Hillbilly Joker 067 Nine Inch Nails -  Heresy 068 Talking Heads - Swamp 069 Irma Thomas - I'd Rather Go Blind 070 Mississippi Fred McDowell -  I'm Going Down the River 071 Dee Dee Bridgewater   - Big Chief 072 Dr. John  - Creole Moon 073 Agents of Oblivion -  Slave Riot 074 Steve Vai - Voodoo Acid 075 Saviours -  Slave To The Hex 076 Kris  Kristofferson -  Casey's Last Ride 077 JJ Cale - Louisiana Women 078 Cher - Dark Lady of New Orleans 079 LE ROUX - Take A Ride On A Riverboat 080 The Melvins -  A History Of Bad Men 081 Floodgate - Through My Days Into My Nights 082 Opprobium - voices from the grave 083 Quintron & Miss Pussycat - Swamp Buggy Badass 084 Child Bite - ancestral ooze 085 Sammi Smith - The City Of New Orleans 086 The Explosions - Garden Of Four Trees 087 Bobby Boyd - straight ahead 088 Bobby Charles - Street People 089 Wall of Voodoo -  Far Side of Crazy 090 Rhiannon Giddens - Freedom Highway (feat. Bhi Bhiman) 091 Elton John - Honky Cat 092 Serge Gainsbourg - Bonnie and Clyde 093 Fats Domino - I'm Walking To New Orleans 094 Cruel Sea - Orleans Stomp 095 Down -  On March The Saints 096 Danzig -  Ju Ju Bone 097 The Neville Brothers ~ Voodoo 098 Megadeth -  The Conjuring 099 Miles Davis - Miles runs the voodoo down 100 Elvis Presley - King Creole 101 Led Zeppelin - Royal Orleans 102 The Lime Spiders -  Slave Girl 103 BIG BILL BROONZY  -'Mississippi River Blues'   104 Kreeps - Bad Voodoo 105 Dirty Dozen Brass Band -  Caravan 106 Kirk Windstein -  Dream In Motion 107 Eletric Prunes - Kyrie Eleison - Mardi Gras 108 Merle Haggard - The Legend Of Bonnie And Clyde 109 Corrosion of Conformity -  River of Stone 110 THE ADVENTURES OF HUCK FINN (MAIN TITLE) 111 Zigaboo Modeliste - Guns 112 ReBirth Brass Band - Let's Go Get 'Em 113 Inell Young -  What Do You See In Her? 114 Jimi Hendrix - If 6 as 9 (Studio Version) Easy Rider Soundtrack 115 Deep Purple -  Speed King 116 Exhorder - The Law 117 Crowbar -  The Cemetery Angels 118 A Streetcar Named Desire OST - Main Title 119 WOORMS - Take His Fucking Leg 120 steely dan - pearl of the quarter 121 Tabby Thomas - Hoodoo Party 122 Black Label Society -  Parade of the Dead 123 Dwight James & The Royals - Need Your Loving 124 Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (2012) The Rampant Hunter (Soundtrack OST) 125 PanterA - The Great Southern Trendkill 126 Ween - WHO DAT? 127 Earl King - Street Parade 128 Ernie K-Doe - Here Come The Girls 129 Dejan's Olympia Brass Band ~ Mardi Gras In New Orleans 130 Body Count -  KKK Bitch 131 Goatwhore - Apocalyptic Havoc 132 C.C. Adcock - Y'all d Think She Be Good To Me (from True Blood S01E01) 133 The Meters - Fire On The Bayou 134 Dr. John - I Walk On Guilded Splinters 135 Balfa Brothers - J'ai Passe Devant ta Porte 136 Ween - Voodoo Lady 137 King Diamond -  'LOA' House 138 Creedence Clearwater Revival - Born On The Bayou 139 Dax Riggs -  See You All In Hell Or New Orleans 140 Professor Longhair - Go to the Mardi Gras 141 Dixie Witch -  Shoot The Moon 142 Ramones - The KKK Took My Baby Away 143 Fats Waller -  There's Going To Be The Devil To Pay 144 Mississippi Fred McDowell -  When the Train Comes Along with Sidney Carter & Rose Hemphill 145 Treme Song (Main Title Version) 146 Tony Joe White - Even Trolls Love Rock and Roll 147 Nine Inch Nails -  Sin 148 Exodus -  Cajun Hell 149 NEIL DIAMOND - New Orleans 150 James Brown - Call Me Super Bad 151 Jimi Hendrix -  Voodoo Child ( Slight Return ) 152 Allen Toussaint - Chokin Kind 153 Dash Rip Rock  - Meet Me at the River 154 Hawg Jaw- 4 Lo 155 Hot 8 Brass Band - Keepin It Funky 156 Hank Williams III - Rebel Within 157 Dejan's Original Olympia Brass Band - Shake It And Break It 158 Jelly Roll Morton -  Finger Buster 159 The Royal Pendletons - (Im a) Sore Loser 160 Little Bob & The Lollipops - Nobody But You 161 Gregg Allman - Floating Bridge (True Detective Soundtrack) 162 Michael Doucel with Beausoleil - Valse de Grand Meche 163 Dolly Parton - My Blue Ridge Mountain Boy 164 Othar Turner & the Afrossippi Allstars – Shimmy She Wobble 165 Jucifer - Fleur De Lis 166 Soilent Green -  Leaves Of Three 167 Ides Of Gemini -  Queen of New Orleans 168 Betty Harris -  Trouble with My Lover 169 Lead Belly - Pick A Bale Of Cotton 170 Candyman Opening Theme 171 Goatwhore - When Steel and Bone Meet 172 Acid Bath - Bleed Me An Ocean 173 Pere Ubu - Louisiana Train Wreck 174 Walter -Wolfman- Washington - You Can Stay But the Noise Must Go 175 Alice in Chains -  Hate To Feel 176 Body Count -  Voodoo 177 Live and Let Die - Jazz Funeral 178 Smoky Babe -  Cotton Field Blues 179 Professor Longhair - Big Chief Part 2 180 Lewis Boogie - Walk the Line 181 James Black - Theres a Storm in the Gulf 182 The Balfa Brothers - Parlez Nous A Boire 183 The Jambalaya Cajun Band - Bayou Teche Two Step 184 The Deacons -  Fagged Out 185 Thou - The Changeling Prince 186 Black Sabbath -  Voodoo 187 King Diamond -  Louisiana Darkness 188 Doyle -  Cemeterysexxx 189 KINGDOM OF SORROW - Grieve a Lifetime 190 Hank Williams III - Louisiana Stripes 191 FORMING THE VOID - On We Sail 192 BUCK BILOXI AND THE FUCKS - fuck you 193 Down in New Orleans - The Princess and the Frog Soundtrack 194 Trombone Shorty & James Andrews  - oh Poo Pah Doo 195 Whitesnake -  Ain't No Love In The Heart Of The City 196 The Dirty Dozen Brass band - Voodoo 197 Joe Simon - The Chokin' Kind 198 Down -  Ghosts along the Mississippi 199 AEROSMITH  - Voodoo Medicine Man 200 Nine Inch Nails -  The Perfect Drug 201 The Byrds - [Sanctuary III] Ballad Of Easy Rider 202 The Iguauas - Boom Boom Boom 203 PJ Harvey - Down By The Water 204 Louis Armstrong - Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans 205 Dr John - Right Place Wrong Time 206 ESTHER ROSE - handyman 207 Lightnin Slim - It's Mighty Crazy 208 Slim Harpo - Blues Hangover 209 Irma Thomas - Ruler Of My Heart 210 WEATHER WARLOCK - Fukk the Plan-0 211 Superjoint Ritual - The Alcoholik (Use Once And Destroy) 212 Stressball - dust 213 Trampoline Team - Kill You On The Streetcar 214 Xander Harris - Where’s your Villain? 215 Dukes of Dixieland - When The Saints Go Marching In 216 Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds - Su Su 217 Danzig - I'm the one 218 EyeHatteGod - Pigs 219 Hank Williams Jr - Amos Moses 220 The Cramps - Alligator Stomp 221 Crowbar - The Serpent Only Lies 222 Shrüm - drip 223 Thou  - The Only Law 224 DR. JOHN - Babylon   225 Garth Brooks - Callin' Baton Rouge 226 Wild Magnolias - All On A Mardi Gras Day 227 NCIS New Orleans TV Show theme 228 Skull Duggery - Big Easy 229 Harry Connick Jr. - City beaneath the sea 230 Elvis Presley - Dixieland Rock 231 Tom Waits - I Wish I Was In New Orleans (In The Ninth Ward) 232 Neil Young - Everybody's Rockin 233 Philip H. Anselmo & The Illegals - Delinquent 234 CORROSION OF CONFORMITY - Wolf Named Crow 235 Widespread Panic - Fishwater 236 Lillian Boutté - Why Don't You Go Down to New Orleans 237 Bryan Ferry - Limbo 238 Scream - Mardi Gras 239 EyeHateGod - Shoplift 240 Better Than Ezra - good 241 Duke Ellington - Perdido (1960 Version) 242 Bob Dylan - Rambling, Gambling Willie 243 Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - sAve my soul 244 Le Roux - So Fired Up 245 Concrete Blonde - The Vampire song 246 Boozoo Chavis - Zydeco Mardi Gras 247 Idris Muhammad  - Piece of mind 248 Les Hooper - Back in Blue Orleans 249 Doug Kershaw - Cajun stripper 250 DOWN  - Witchtripper 251 Soilent Green - So hatred 252 Professional Longhair - Big chief 253 Willie Nelson - City Of New Orleans 254 Tom Waits - Whistlin' Past The Graveyard 255 Brian Fallon - sleepwalkers 256 Patsy - Count It On Down 257 Into the Moat - The Siege Of Orleans 258 Bruce Cockburn - Down To The Delta 259 Jello Biafra · the Raunch and Soul All-Stars - Fannie Mae 260 Exhorder - Asunder 261 Cane Hill - Too Far Gone 262 The Slackers - peculiar 263 Crowbar  - A Breed Apart   264 COC - Wiseblood 265 Necrophagia - Embalmed Yet I Breathe 266 EYEHATEGOD - Fake What's Yours 333 Alan Vega - Bye Bye Bayou 666 DOWN  - Stone the crow

I don’t beads by the way! Hit play here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC182dTlE-Gii6ZOO5ZrN1Z1T

[theguardianwriter]

I don't know if anyone else have this head cannon but, Desmond Miles is touch starved. To me that make sense, living on a farm where you are raised as a soldier and not a family. I don't think William is ever supported or positive to Desmond. I don't think my boy have enough hugs in his life.

I'm SoOoOo adding that in my story I'm writing. Desmond basically living with his ancestors in one roof and for them to see how deprived Desmond is for positive praise and touch.

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter.  I hope you guys like this one! :)  A quick reminder that I’ve set up a Ko-Fi incase you want to support my writing --> ko-fi.com/spine_buster .  Enjoy!

December 25th, 2019

Aberdeen Bloom was celebrating Christmas.

Siena was home from Ottawa, having finished another semester of law school.  Camden was the first one up, naturally, screaming at everybody that it was time to open presents.  The family had been to Midnight Mass the night before, a tradition Orla had the family do every Christmas since they were young.  After opening presents, everybody would shower and help her make the day’s big lunch before passing out in food and wine comas all over the house.  If all went well, Gramma Frances and Grampa Alistair would call and they’d all say hi in a short FaceTime.

“Get up!  Get up!  Get up!” Camden could be heard screaming from the hallway, his footsteps getting louder and louder.  “It’s time to open presents!”

“If he comes in here I’m gonna scream at him,” Siena mumbled into her pillow.  Aberdeen laughed from her side of the room.  

“Siena!  Aberdeen!”

“We’re coming!” Aberdeen yelled, not bothering to move.  

“Hey mom!  Can I finally try coffee?!” their little brother wouldn’t shut up.

The girls snorted, with Siena groaning as she stretched in her bed, unable to fall back asleep.  Eventually they got up and got ready, their little brother’s screams getting too annoying to ignore.  “He’s getting more annoying as he gets older,” Siena said playfully, running a brush through her hair.  

“Yeah,” Aberdeen agreed, “but at least he doesn’t jump into mom and dad’s bed like we did.”

“Remember that time you almost punctured dad’s lung?”

Aberdeen snorted.  “Remember that time you almost broke mom’s nose?”

“Maybe we should do it again for good measure.”

The girls finally emerged from their room, finding Orla in the kitchen pouring coffee.  Camden was dragging Mirza out of his room, Mirza playfully pulling him back in so Camden would slide on the floor.  The family hugged each other before Aberdeen opened a cupboard to get the Chips Ahoy cookies.  Camden snatched one right from her hands.  She chased him around the house.

Opening presents was always fun.  This year, Aberdeen was able to ask around the office for something for Camden, and she ended up with a Kyle Lowry Raptors jersey.  When he opened it, he automatically loved it and hugged it like he was five and it was his favourite new toy.  Aberdeen’s parents gifted her practical things – a chic new laundry basket and a nice throw she could use when she cuddled with Minerva and a bag of Doritos, and Siena bought her two new books she’d wanted to read.  To his credit, even Camden’s gift was cute: a mug that said, “Cat hair, don’t care” in fancy lettering.  

Once the gift giving was over and the family room cleaned of all the wrapping paper, everybody started to get ready.  Orla began seasoning the roast beef and Mirza began preparing the potatoes.  The kids showered and got ready so they’d look nice for photos and for their eventual FaceTime with their grandparents.  Siena stayed on the main floor to begin whipping up the trifle.  Aberdeen brought Camden to the downstairs kitchen with her to help with seasoning and roasting the Brussel sprouts and carrots.  

“So what are the Maple Leafs doing today?” Camden made conversation as Aberdeen sliced the carrots and he laid them in their tray.  

“Which ones?” she asked.  “It’s not like they’re spending it together as a team.  They’re all spending it with their families.”

“What’s John Tavares doing?” he asked.  Camden knew much more about sports than she did.  He found it genuinely cool that his sister was working for the Toronto Maple Leafs, even though he liked the Raptors a little bit more.  When she told him how she sat with Masai Ujiri at the Major Donor Gala, he freaked out and bragged to all his friends.  He was officially one of the coolest kids in school.

“Well, John and his wife Aryne just had a new baby in September, so this is their first Christmas with him.  I think they’re spending it at John’s house with both their families there,” Aberdeen explained.

“What about Auston Matthews?”

“Auston’s entire family came up from Arizona – they’re having a big family lunch like we are.”

“What about Mitch Marner?”

Aberdeen smiled.  “Mitch is spending it with his family, his girlfriend Stephanie, and his dog Zeus.”

“His dog?!” Camden’s face lit up.  “Mom and dad won’t let me get a dog yet.  They say I’m still too young.”

“Just wait,” Aberdeen encouraged him.  “Mom will eventually want to replace me and Siena with a dog, and dad will be too powerless to say no.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm.  What kind of breed do you want?”

“I want a German shepherd.”

Aberdeen laughed at her brother.  He always dreamed big, which was good for a kid his age, but a German shepherd would be bigger than him.  There was no way he’d be able to handle it out on walks.  “Aim smaller.  What about a corgi?”

“That’s your dream dog cause of their butts,” Camden furrowed his brows.  “If mom won’t let me get a German shepherd then I think I want a goldendoodle.  Greg at school has one and it’s really cute.”

“Why don’t you just get a regular poodle and cut its hair really weird like that lady in 101 Dalmatians?”

Camden started to laugh as Aberdeen sliced the last of the carrots.  She made sure they were all lined up nicely before starting on the Brussel sprouts.  “We can shave the Toronto Maple Leafs logo into its hair.”

“Exactly!”

“Then it can become the team dog!” Camden giggled, liking the idea already.  

Aberdeen and Camden stayed in the basement kitchen for almost an hour – enough time so that all the carrots and Brussel sprouts were sufficiently roasted and seasoned properly as Orla taught them.  When the carrots were ready to be brought upstairs, Aberdeen made Camden put on oven mitts and told him to grab the dish.  “Go run these up to mom,” Aberdeen said.  “And absolutely no funny business.  If these fall on the floor nobody in this family will forgive you.”

Camden did as he was told, going up the stairs slowly.  Aberdeen stayed down for another ten minutes, waiting for the Brussel sprouts to finish before putting on her own pair of oven mitts and bringing the plate upstairs.  By then, the roast in the oven smelled impeccably delicious and Aberdeen could already see most of the food on the table as she rounded the corner.  Before she could move any further, Siena came through and blocked her passage and sightline towards the front of the house, a look of panic on her face.  “Ab—Aberdeen,” she was staring at Aberdeen wide-eyed, like she’d just seen a ghost.

“What?  What’s going on?” Aberdeen whispered.

“Hey.”

Aberdeen knew that voice.  She knew that voice anywhere.  She’d be able to recognize it from miles away.  It was the voice that tortured and soothed her all at once.  What was it doing here?  In her house?  Her head turned quickly like she was in The Exorcist.  

And there he was.

William Nylander.  Standing in the middle of the family room.  Her family room.

With her mother.

Aberdeen was going to pass out.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded, almost dropping the plate of Brussel sprouts at her feet.  What was he doing here?  What was he doing here?  How the fuck did he even find out where she lived – where her family lived?  And why did he have a glass of water in his hands?  How long had he been here for him to have been offered a glass of water?  Why didn’t she hear the doorbell?  Why didn’t she hear a knock?  Why hadn’t her parents called down to her in the basement to let her know he showed up unannounced to their Christmas Day family celebrations and why didn’t they—

“Aberdeen!” her mother scolded her as she walked towards her.  “I know he’s a little early but that’s no way to treat the guest you invited.”

Aberdeen glared at William and then glared at her mother.  She was almost rendered speechless by William’s stupid grin on his face.  “I did not invite William to Christm--”

“Aberdeen, please, the Brussel sprouts,” her mother wasn’t having it, walking towards her and grabbing the plate from her hands, only to put it on the table.

Aberdeen looked at William, dressed in a nice pair of navy blue slacks and a fitted grey Ralph Lauren sweater with a collared shirt underneath.  He definitely looked the part of innocent-hockey-player-come-to-spend-Christmas-with-a-welcoming-Canadian-family, but he wasn’t fooling her.  Aberdeen looked back to see her mother disappear into the kitchen again.  Siena was already gone, too.  Good, it made it safe for her to cuss him out.  

“How do I look?” he asked, waiting for one of her famous retorts.

He wasn’t going to get one.  Not this time.  He looked too wholesome, but more than that, he didn’t deserve one for crashing her family Christmas.  “Seriously, what are you doing here?” she hissed as she stepped forward so she could get closer to him.  

“Better than spending Christmas alone,” he shrugged his shoulders, the playful grin still on his face.  

“I thought you were Skyping with your family,” she said, immediately regretting it.  She knew Skyping was nowhere near close to spending actual time, physically, with your family on one of the most important holidays of the year.

“I already did, while I was having breakfast and they were having lunch.  Six hour time difference,” he said.  

“Will, I’m serious, what are you—”

“I thought you’d need a friend here after everything that happened,” he said quickly, his tone serious.  His blue eyes looked into hers and every ounce of anger and shock in her dissipated.  “I figured you probably haven’t told your parents, and definitely not your brother, but I know you told Siena, and I just thought it would be nice for you to have a friendly face around beside your sister that…I don’t know…might make Christmas more fun.”

He knew her.  He knew he so well that she almost hated it, but mostly found it so admirable and so damn…cute.  He knew that she’d only tell Siena because Siena was the person she was the closest to in the world, and he knew she wouldn’t tell her parents because…well, because they didn’t need to know their daughter got sexually harassed at work.  She didn’t know what she was feeling right now.  “How do you even know where my parents live?”

That trademark grin came back.  “Don’t worry about it.”

“Aberdeen!  You didn’t tell me William Nylander was coming for Christmas!” Camden’s voice rang from behind her.  She turned around to see her brother with his arms crossed playfully around his chest.  “Would have been nice, you know.”

“I guess I forgot,” she said absent-mindedly.  She couldn’t believe this was happening right now.  She couldn’t believe William was at her house for Christmas; that he was going to be spending Christmas with her family because, well, it wasn’t like she could kick him out onto the street now.  

“Did you see I brought a dessert?” William said, his voice upbeat as he looked at Camden.  “I picked up some treats from a Swedish bakery in downtown Toronto.”

Camden’s eyes lit up at the words.  “Double dessert!” he screamed.  “Siena made a trifle!  You’ll like it.  It’s got strawberries in it.”

“Alright!  Everyone to the table!” Orla’s voice boomed throughout the house.  “Is the wine on the table?  Are there drinks?”

“Does everybody have a spot?” William whispered to Camden.

Camden nodded his head quickly before pushing William to the opposite side of the table.  “Mom sits at the head,” he pointed, “Siena sits there, dad sits there, I sit at the other head, and then Aberdeen sits here.”

“So I guess I’m sitting—”

“Right here,” Camden took out the chair for him.  

William took his seat.  Aberdeen slipped into her seat beside him, still staring at him like he wasn’t real.  Siena took her seat, then Mirza.  Camden last.  Then Orla brought in the roast, smelling absolutely delectable.  William’s eyes widened at how good it looked.  Everybody brought their plates forward and she put a few slices of the carved meat and gravy onto everyone’s plates – only then did the other dishes get passed around to fill up their plates: the Yorkshire puddings, the roasted potatoes, the Brussel sprouts, and the carrots.  

“Are you Catholic, William?” Orla asked as she sat down at her seat.  

“No ma’am.”

“Well, Christmas and Easter are the only two days of the year that we pray before our meal,” she informed him.  “So, congratulations.  Camden, why don’t you say a Hail Mary.”  William watched as everybody around the table except Mirza did the sign of the cross, though Mirza did bow his head in respect.  William quickly followed with his own sign of the cross.  He listened as Camden recited a Hail Mary.  When he was done, Orla spoke up again.  “Lord, we would like to thank you for bringing us together to celebrate your birth, and we would like to thank you for bringing us William today to celebrate with our family.  Amen.”

“Amen,” everyone said.

“Hallelujah!” Camden exclaimed, grabbing his fork.  Everyone else did too, while Mirza stood up to start pouring the wine in everyone’s glasses, save for Camden.  

“So you mentioned your family is in Sweden, William?” Orla asked, slicing her roast beef in pieces.  “Whereabouts?”

“Most of my family is there, right in Stockholm.  But I have a brother living in Chicago who also plays hockey.  My sister Jacqueline is also in Texas at SMU playing tennis, but she was able to get home for Christmas,” he explained.

“And where’s your brother in Chicago going?”

“He has a teammate and his family.  He lives in their basement,” William smiled. 

“Orla has a habit of wanting to feed the entire congregation, if you know what I mean,” Mirza smiled from across the table.  “Clearly Aberdeen knew, since she invited you.”

Aberdeen wanted to say that she didn’t, that he was hear because he somehow found their address and wanted to make her life a complete circus, but she decided against it.  It was Christmas, after all.  “Yeah, well when Aberdeen offered, I thought it was so nice, but I didn’t want to intrude,” William said from beside her.  She could have killed him right then and there.

“Intruding?  What are you intruding on?  The more the merrier.  And God knows I make enough roast,” Orla commented.  “Besides, it’s not the first time Aberdeen’s brought something home and said ‘Surprise!’.”

“We all love Minerva and she is a great cat,” Aberdeen said firmly before anyone else could say anything.  

Conversation flowed nicely.  William was a natural, Aberdeen thought, and she chalked it all up to his endearing charm – his best quality.  Well, at least to Aberdeen.  It was what attracted her to him in the first place.  That and the fact that he was so persistent.  But everybody seemed to take a liking to him, and despite being the only person at the table who knew what had happened between them, Siena was surprisingly calm, warm, and chatty.  Camden was an everyday 11 year old, asking William about the Leafs and if he’d met any Raptors and what playing hockey was like.  He made them smile.  He made them laugh.  He made them love him.  It was all so sickeningly sweet.

Camden cleared the dishes and Aberdeen cleared the food platters and Orla and Siena fetched the desserts. Mirza stayed to keep William company at the table.  Aberdeen watched as Orla scooped all the remaining leftovers into a Tupperware – Aberdeen knew she’d give it to William when he left, and now she was stuck thinking about how William was going to return one of her Tupperwares without anybody on the team or in the offices knowing.  It sent her head for a bit of a spin until Camden almost knocked her out with a swinging fridge door.  “Camden, get the dessert plates on the counter,” she ordered, and he did as he was told.  She got the trifle out of the fridge.

“Show him mine!  I was so much cuter!” she heard Camden exclaim from the dining room.  What was he on about now?

Aberdeen turned the corner.  And then she saw it.

William Nylander.  Sitting at the dining room table with her father.

Looking through her baby book.

Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.  “Dad!!!” she exclaimed.

William looked up at her, the biggest, goofiest, most sincere smile on his face.  “You were a cute baby, Aberdeen.”

She was mortified.  She thought about walking outside and freezing to death because that would be a better option than what was happening in front of her.  She set the trifle down on the table loudly, her jaw on the floor.  “Dad, come on!” she complained.  “I work with William!  He doesn’t have to see my baby pictures!”

“Well excuse me for wanting to show off my two darling daughters,” Mirza waved off her complaint.  “Besides, I can’t say no when a guest wants to see.”

Aberdeen glared at William, who still had that smile on his face.  “Oh, you’re gonna get it when we’re back at the arena.”

“Am I?” he taunted her.

“Look!  Look here!  Siena at four, Aberdeen at two,” Mirza diffused the situation, pointing to a new picture on the page.  “We sent copies of this one to Orla’s parents in Derry.  They had it up for years.”

Aberdeen knew exactly which picture Mirza was talking about.  She and her sister were photographed by a professional photographer, with Siena wearing a frilly yellow dress and Aberdeen wearing a pink one, equally as frilly.  They were both smiling at the camera while sitting on some sort of box, and both wearing small, dainty necklaces.  They were adorable, but William didn’t need to know that.  “These are evil eyes, right?” he said, pointing to the necklaces they were wearing in the photo, a small smile on his face.

“We say nazar.  It protects from the evil eye,” Mirza nodded his head.  “They’re very popular in Iran.”

“What made you come to Canada?” William asked.

“The revolution, mostly,” Mirza said.  “I was fourteen.  My parents didn’t want me to stay so they changed my name and I escaped the country.  It wasn’t safe for me anymore.  I went to Syria first – to Aleppo – and had all my documents processed there to become a refugee.  I came to Canada when I was eighteen in 1984.”

William was quiet and had a solemn look on his face as he listened to Mirza.  It was so unlike any other story he’d heard before, in terms of people’s parents at least.  He grew up with a lot of “My dad played in the NHL” or “My dad works in hockey” – never “My dad escaped a revolution”.  It was very new to him, and he almost felt ashamed at the lack of diverse stories his friends, acquaintances, and all the kids he grew up with had in comparison to this.  “And you chose Canada?”

“Canada chose me, I think,” Mirza smiled.  “Look at these pictures here,” he said, flipping to the back of the photo album.  When he reached the page, he showed William, and Aberdeen already knew what it was: the few pictures he had of himself growing up in Iran with his parents, some photos of him in Aleppo, and the first photos of him in Canada.  “That one was the year before I left Iran,” he said, pointing to one, “and this one…the month I arrived in Canada.”

William smiled.  He looked up at Aberdeen, who was already expecting his reaction.  “Sugo hat outfit,” he said, like it was a code language.  “Holy hell.  You weren’t kidding, Aberdeen.”

“Told you.”

“Sugo hat outfit?” Mirza asked.

“It’s nothing, dad.  William just has an interesting fashion sense.  Very European.”

Mirza shrugged, letting it go.  “Canada led me to Orla.  Led me to have this,” he motioned around at his house, “led me to my job, led me to be a father,” he nodded towards Aberdeen.  “Canada has been very nice to Orla and I, because even she had her troubles.  Literally.”

“Troubles?”

“Orla grew up in Belfast and Derry during the Troubles in Northern Ireland.  There was religious violence all around her growing up.  Catholics versus Protestants,” he explained.  “She came to Canada to escape it, too, in 1988.  And it brought us together.  We met in 1993 at our citizenship ceremony, married in 1995, and had Siena in 1996.”

William couldn’t help but smile.  Meeting your future spouse at your citizenship ceremony as you swore an oath as a new citizen of Canada?  “That’s the most Canadian thing I’ve ever heard,” he giggled.

“I know!” Mirza smiled along with him.  “Orla married the mailman – I mean literally married the mailman.  You should have heard all the jokes we got from her friends when she got pregnant with Siena.  They never ended.”

Dessert and most of the afternoon continued as thus: retelling old family stories and recounting family memories as everyone devoured both desserts, with William explaining each of the Swedish pastries he’d picked from the bakery.  They called their grandparents in Derry just as they were finishing, with William politely staying out of view, and then everybody relaxed around the house.  William promised Camden he’d teach him some stickhandling tricks with the old sticks they had somewhere in the garage, “once my food baby has passed.”  Mirza and Orla sat on the couch, watching the Christmas specials on TV.  Camden opened and started to organize the pieces of a Lego set he’d received as a Christmas gift on the dining room table.  Siena, Aberdeen, and William went down to the basement to “watch Netflix”.  They got through one episode of Brooklyn 9-9 before Siena told them to sneak back upstairs into hers and Aberdeen’s bedroom for some alone time.  Aberdeen tried to say no but William was already up.  When he winked at Siena as a thank you, Siena immediately understood what attracted Aberdeen to him in the first place.

When he walked inside Aberdeen’s room, he thought that it was everything yet nothing he imagined all at once.  A small twin bed, a stylish comforter, a view pictures of her with friends strung along draped string and a corkboard above her headboard.  “So this is your room?”

Aberdeen nodded.  “Well, used to be just Siena’s room.  Then when the little monster was born we moved in together.”

“You didn’t care?  Didn’t demand a room in the basement?”

Aberdeen shook her head.  “I told you how close Siena and I are.  I actually didn’t mind at all.”

He sat down on her bed, looking up at some of the pictures she’d hung.  He recognized Kasha in one of them, and what he assumed to be other university friends.  There was even a picture of the family together, for what looked like one of Camden’s birthdays.  “You have such a nice house…” he started, looking around some more.  “A nice, like, home.  It’s very homey and just, like, perfect.  And your family’s really…warm,” he said, choosing his words carefully.  “They remind me a lot of mine.  Close knit and stuff.  You’ve all got each other’s back.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, sitting down on her bed next to him.  “Does it…I mean, does it make you miss your family?”

“Tons,” he replied automatically.  “Especially on days like today.  But it’s okay.  I know this summer when we’re all together it’s gonna be a blast.”

“I know…” Aberdeen began.  “Listen, I know you don’t like to talk about your feelings much, but if you ever do want to talk when you’re really missing them…you know I’m here to listen, right?”

William looked at her and smiled.  God, he got so lucky.  “I know,” he said.  “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

He paused, staring into her eyes before knowing he had to continue.  “Listen…I got you something,” he said.

“You what?” Aberdeen was flabbergasted.  As if enough didn’t already happen today.  He saw her baby photos for God’s sake.

“I couldn’t help myself.”

“I really think you could.”

He sighed and smiled, reaching into a bag Aberdeen hadn’t noticed was there and pulling out a wrapped box, a ribbon tied around it perfectly.  She had a hard time believing he wrapped it himself, but then again, he had a lot of siblings.  That was his excuse for knowing how to do a bunch of things that he had no other logical explanation as to why he knew how to do it.  “Merry Christmas, minskatt,” he said.

“I don’t have anything for you,” she blurted out, immediately regretting it.  

“I don’t need anything.  It’s fine,” he shook his head, pushing the box onto her lap.  “Open it.”

It was small.  Too small for her liking.  She gave him one last look before sliding the ribbon off and ripping the paper.  The box was neutral, which made her even more nervous.  She opened the lid.

Inside, she was met with a ring.  An evil eye ring made of yellow gold, with the centre of the eye bedazzled with a black diamond, circled by two bands of rich blue diamonds, and finished off with regular diamonds outlining and filling out the rest of the eye shape.  Her breath hitched in her throat audibly as she stared at it and took in its beauty.  She couldn’t believe William got this for her.  She couldn’t believe he…he…

“I hope you like it,” she heard William’s voice say softly.  “I know rings are…well, whatever, but…I saw it and I thought of you.  It…it went beyond when you told me your dad was Persian.  The blue…it sounds stupid, but the blue reminded me of your tattoo.  The waves.  Like now whenever I see anything blue I think of you and your tattoo and the waves and stuff, and…and—” he was rambling, and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop, “—and I just figured, I don’t know, you always wear nice jewelry, nice rings, and this can be part of it.  And it’ll protect you, according to tradition or whatever.  And maybe, I don’t know, every time you look down at your hand and see the ring, you’ll be reminded of me.”

Aberdeen took every word to heart.  She’d been looking at him the entire time, and her heart was so full by the end of his rambling that she couldn’t think straight; she couldn’t think of what to say, how to say it, how to thank him, how to truly express how much she loved it, so she did the only thing she could think to do.  The only thing she couldn’t do.

She kissed him.

It was slow at first, and it took William aback – never in a million years did he think Aberdeen would initiate any kiss, let alone a kiss on her bed while they were alone in her bedroom after he’d crashed her family’s Christmas celebrations – but eventually, and gradually, the kiss deepened and became more passionate, with William’s hand going lightly to her hip, and Aberdeen’s hand resting gently on his thigh.  They stayed like that for a while, just kissing on her bed, William absolutely basking in the feeling, as if a thousand lightning bolts were moving through his body all at once, having waited for months – six months – to feel his lips against hers again.  It intoxicated him as much now as it did that night in June so long ago; perhaps even more so now, now that he knew what her lips felt like but was denied for so long, only to be given the luxury again.  He was drunk on the feeling.  

It was only until William couldn’t help himself, when Aberdeen felt a slip of his tongue against her lips, that she was brought back down to earth, only for her to pull away quickly.  “Oh God,” she worried.  “I wasn’t supposed to do that.”

William half smiled as he bit down on his bottom lip.  “It’s not like I’m gonna tell anybody.”

She felt William’s hand on her hip move to hold her hand that was resting on his thigh.  He held it so warmly, still looking at her, and rubbed circles onto her hand.  His touch was so delicate, so tender.  So unlike other touches she’d experienced, other touches she never wanted to experience again.  “Will?”

“Hmm?” he licked his lips.

She finally met his eye.  “I…I never thanked you for going to Brendan about…you know…” she trailed off.  

His face shifted.  “Aberdeen—”

“No – please,” she interrupted him, looking down nervously at their fingers that had now entangled with each other’s on his lap.  She didn’t know why she couldn’t look him in the eye.  She’d just kissed him, for God’s sake.  “I never thanked you.  Or Pierre for that matter.  If you guys hadn’t gone to Brendan, I’d still have to be dealing with him, and…and I just…”

“Aberdeen, you don’t need to thank me for doing the right thing.  Anybody would have done the same thing,” William said.  “Believe me.  Any one of those guys in the locker room would have done the same thing.  Pierre and I actually made the decision to wait until after the holidays to tell everyone what happened so they wouldn’t get upset before Christmas.”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows.  “Why?  They…they’d get upset?”

“Are you kidding me?  Of course they’d get upset,” William said.  “Jason would have gone insane if he knew.  The guy has four girls.  Auston, Morgan, Kappy – everyone thinks you’re a bit of nerd or whatever, but they’d all go to bat for you.  And everyone’s gonna be really upset when they hear about it.  Actually, they’ll probably get mad at me for not telling them so they couldn’t whoop Ethan’s ass themselves.”

Aberdeen never considered that.  She knew the guys liked her well enough, but she never considered that they liked her enough that they’d be upset something like that happened to her.  She never considered that they’d be protective of her in that way.  For all that she was Brendan Shanahan’s executive assistant and on the administrative side of things, she never felt part of the team more than she did in this moment, in her room alone with William Nylander.  

“Can you…can you tell me something?” William asked as he watched her think.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me…you know, what Ethan was doing?”

There was the million dollar question.  Aberdeen didn’t want to admit why.  She didn’t want to admit to William that the reason she didn’t tell him was because she didn’t want him to know, didn’t want him to get involved, didn’t want to endanger his position in any way with the team by him speaking up on her behalf.  She didn’t want to tell him it was because she didn’t think it was worth it.  But she knew she had too.  She took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders.  “I didn’t think you cared that much,” she admitted softly.  “I didn’t think that it was…you know…worth caring about, even.”

It was William’s turn to furrow his brows.  He looked pained, physically pained, at the words that had just escaped her mouth.  “You’re always worth caring about, minskatt,” he said firmly, with no space to debate his tone or words.  “You’re always…fuck, Aberdeen, you’re always fucking worth it to me.”

She couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth; couldn’t believe how much conviction was in his voice and how much he meant each and every word.  Nobody had said those words to her before.  Well – no guy had said those words to her before.  She remembered Zane and how he refused to acknowledge how she wanted to become a writer.  She remembered how, a second after she told him, William said she’d make a great writer even though he’d never read any of her work.  To William, she was worth it; in every sense of the word, she was worth it.  She was worth late night walks back to her apartment.  She was worth sneaking into hotel rooms at night.  She was worth calls to Sugo and paying extra to get dinner long after they closed down.  She was worth sneaking around to get her phone number, and her parents’ address to show up for Christmas.  She was worth spending whatever amount of money on a ring that reminded him of her.  She was worth it.  She was worth it all.  

She moved closer to him again.

Closer.

And closer.

And…

“Aberdeen!” she heard Camden scream her voice down the hallway.  So he apparently knew they were in her room.  She and William moved at lightning speed not to be so close to each other.  She shoved the box into her bedside table.  Camden’s loud footsteps echoed down the hallway until they stopped outside her door.  

Camden at least had the knowledge to knock.  She’d yelled at him one too many times for him to forget.  “Come in,” she said, her voice still a bit shaky from what had almost just happened.  

He opened the door and stuck his head through.  “William promised he’d play some hockey with me in the driveway before he left,” he said.  

“William and I are talking right now,” she said quickly, trying to get him to go away.

“About what?”

“About work stuff.”

“What’s happening at work?”

“Camden.”

“Is Mitch Marner okay?”

“Can you give us maybe, like, five or ten minutes to solve this problem?” William asked.  “I’ll meet you in the driveway after that.  Practice your stickhandling so I can show you what to improve on.”

Camden nodded his head quickly and closed the door behind him as he rushed back down the hallway, yelling at his dad to open the garage and get his hockey stick.  William looked at Aberdeen and laughed as she let out a breath in one long sigh, giggling to herself before shaking her head.  “God…what am I doing?” she mumbled to herself.

“Realizing you’re worth it,” William said quickly, inching closer to her and kissing her again.  It was nice, and it was innocent, and it was beautiful, and it was lovely, but it was also wrong.  Aberdeen pulled back quicker than last time, but William didn’t seem to mind.  He knew this kiss was gratuitous – an extra gift.  “I can’t wait to see you on the plane to New Jersey wearing that ring,” he mumbled, grabbing her hand and holding it in his.

She stiffened for a second.  “I can’t wear that to work.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s from you.  Everyone’s gonna ask about it.”

“Have any of the guys, including Brendan, ever asked about any piece of jewelry you’ve worn before?” he deadpanned.  Okay, so he had a point.  “Besides, just tell them it was a Christmas gift from your parents.”

She shook her head.  “You underestimate how good of a liar I am.”

“You spent six months lying trying to convince yourself you didn’t like me.”

She blushed.  Okay, so he had another point.  “Touché, Will.”

He licked his lips, biting down on the bottom one gently.  “Why’re you so scared?”

“I’m not scared,” Aberdeen answered.  “I’m just aware of how inappropriate this is and how much I’m starting not to care anymore.”

William smiled.  And he leaned in again.  But before he could kiss her again – helping as best he could to get her to not care anymore – Camden’s voice boomed through the house again.  “Aberdeeeeen!”

She practically growled at another moment ruined.  “Camden!” she screamed out.

This time, he didn’t bother to knock when he opened the bedroom door.  He poked his head through again.  “Do you know someone who drives a black Porsche Cayenne?”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows.  As if she knew more than one person who drove a car that expensive.  “My boss does…” she said.

“Well, it’s in the driveway.”

Aberdeen’s eyes bulged out of her head.  She shot up from her seat and grabbed William and dragged him towards her closet.  “Is that—” he tried to ask.

“Quiet.”

“Is that Brendan?” he asked as she practically tore her closet door off her hinges to open it.  “What’s he doing here?”

“I don’t fucking know!” she exclaimed in one of those loud, frantic whispers.  “Do you honestly think if I knew he was coming sometime today I would have let you stay in my house this long?  Now shut up.”

“Aber—oooooowwwwww!” he protested as she grabbed the top of his head and pushed him down and into her closet like he was getting into the back of a cop car.  He belonged in a cop car, Aberdeen thought, for showing up at her house on Christmas.  “Aberdeen!”

“Shut up!” she said hurriedly, putting her hand over his mouth.  “If you value your life as well as mine you will stay in here and stay quiet until I come get you,” she warned, closing the closet door in his face.

“Who’s that now?” Orla asked as Aberdeen hurried to the front of the house, where she saw her mother looking out the window.  “We don’t know people who drive Porsches.”

“It’s for me.  It’s my boss.  Brendan Shanahan.  The president of the Toronto Maple Leafs,” Aberdeen informed everyone.  She saw Siena send a panicked look her way.

“Oh, did you invite him to Christmas too now and he just came late?” Orla joked.

“Is he here to see William?” Camden asked.

Aberdeen took a deep breath.  She felt like her heart was going to explode in her chest.  “Everybody listen,” she said loudly.  “Brendan cannot know William was here…is here.”

“Why can’t Brendan know about W—”

“I’ll lose my job, okay?” she said quickly.  Her parents’ eyes widened.  “Brendan doesn’t like the players, uh…he doesn’t…just please, please don’t ask me to explain.  Just take my word for it.  Just don’t mention anything and…please be normal.”  She knew Siena already knew.  And she knew her parents were good for it – though she’d have to explain to them in more detail later.  It was Camden she was worried about.  She looked down at him.  “You say a word about William being here and I take that Kyle Lowry jersey back and tell everyone at your school that you still sleep with Bubby.”

Bubby was the stuffed giraffe Camden got as a kid.  He slept with it religiously when he was small, but he didn’t still sleep with it, though it stayed perched on his shelf.  Camden grimaced but understood the ultimatum his sister was giving him – no kid would ever recover from that rumour being spread.  “Fine.”

Their doorbell rang.  Mirza moved to open the door.  He couldn’t even see Brendan’s face – it was obstructed by a giant basket.  “Oh my goodness!” he exclaimed, noticing it was teetering a bit.  “Let me help, let me help!” he said, taking some of the weight of the basket.  “Come in!  Come in!” he moved backwards, and the two men balanced the basket on the half-wall that separated the entrance from the front family room.  

Aberdeen felt like she was going to faint.  Brendan Shanahan was now in her front entrance while William Nylander was stuffed in her bedroom closet.  “You must be Mr. Bloom,” Brendan said, extending his hand to shake.  “And Mrs. Bloom,” he said once he noticed Orla, shaking her hand too.  “I’m Brendan Shanahan – I’m Aberdeen’s boss.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Brendan,” Orla smiled.  “Aberdeen speaks so highly of you.”

He waved and smiled at Aberdeen.  Then he noticed Siena and Camden.  “You must be Siena,” he smiled at her, “and Camden.”  Camden nodded enthusiastically and silently.  “I don’t mean to intrude on your Christmas,” Brendan held up his hands slightly.  “I just – well, my family and I are on our way to my mother’s house in Mimico.  I’m an Etobicoke boy too, you see.  And when Aberdeen told me her mother was another Belfast lass, well, I had to see for myself.”

Orla giggled.  Mirza had a smile on his face.  “Irish too, then?  Well, with a name like Shanahan, how could you not be?” Orla quipped.  

“I don’t mean to stay long – we’re already late as is – but I just wanted to pass this gift along as a token of my thanks and gratitude,” he said, motioning to the giant wrapped basket.   It had an assortment of things in it that Aberdeen couldn’t make out because she was scared William was going to scream out from the closet or walk around the corner any second and then she’d be out of a job.  She knew Camden would take it all apart the second Brendan left, anyway.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that, Mr. Shanahan—” Orla said.

“No no, I insist.  It’s the least I could do,” he said.  “I’m sorry for taking your daughter away from you so much and having her travel to every corner of this continent.  I know it must be hard on you as parents.”

“It is,” Mirza said, “but she enjoys her job very much.  She’s always letting us know about the cool things she’s doing or the cities she’s going to.  She feels very fortunate to be in the position she’s in.”

“We’re very lucky to have her as a member of the Toronto Maple Leafs team,” Brendan smiled warmly.  “Anyways, I’m so sorry for taking up your time,” he turned to leave.

“Don’t be sorry at all, Mr. Shanahan.  This is a very lovely gift, thank you.”

As he stepped through the threshold of the doorway, he turned back.  “If I want to drop by St. Leo and bring some of the boys, am I calling you?” he asked Orla.

“You bet your arse you are, because you’re not going to anyone else’s class but mine.”

Brendan smiled.  “I’ll call you to arrange something, then.  Have a very Merry Christmas.”

When the door closed, Aberdeen let out a sigh of relief.  “Was that harmless enough, Aberdeen?  Was it to your liking?” Orla asked sarcastically.

“Don’t.”

“Camden, go fetch mummy a card from the drawer in the kitchen so we can write a thank you note to Mr. Shanahan for this enormous basket full of…full of…” she stopped, eyeing the contents.  Suddenly, she jumped up.  “Oh Lord!  Oh heavens it’s a basket of Irish and British goodies!  And sweets!  Oh, bless that man!  Bless that man!”

Aberdeen didn’t care about sweets.  She thought about William in her closet and rushed towards her room.  She closed the door to her room behind her and opened the closet door to see him holding up her high school kilt, like he was examining it.  “What the fuck are you doing with that?”

He smirked at her.  “Can you wear this for me sometime?”

“Get out of there!” she ordered, snatching her kilt away from his hands as he giggled like the schoolgirl she once was.  She hung it back up in the back of her closet.  “You’re a perv.”

“Only for you,” he continued to giggle.

***

William held on to the Tupperware Orla had given him full of leftovers as he and Aberdeen stood on her front porch.  Aberdeen made sure not to get too close; partly because she had a feeling that at least one member of her family was spying through a window, but also, because if she got close to him, she didn’t know what she’d do.  

William had charmed her entire family.  Her mother invited him back for Easter.  Camden thought he was the coolest guy around.  Siena understood now why Aberdeen was so drawn to him.  And Mirza – well, Mirza just liked him.  Thought he was a good kid.  And he was a good kid.  Despite his upbringing and despite his job being one of the stars of the Leafs, he was just a humble, polite, guy when he came over – just a guy from Sweden who worked with Aberdeen.  Aberdeen thought that maybe that’s all he wanted to be when he was around her – just a guy from Sweden.  Not William Nylander, hockey star.  He certainly showed that he liked and preferred it that way.

“You’re coming to Jersey, right?” he asked.  She nodded her head.  “What about New Years?”

“I’ll be there,” she nodded again.  “Kinda sucks that we won’t get to spend it here, though.  I think this is the first New Year’s I’ll spend outside of Toronto.”

“Well it has to be extra special, then,” he smiled.  

Aberdeen bit her lip.  She didn’t know what that meant.  A part of her didn’t want to know while another part of her did.  “Will…” she began.

“Minskatt?”

“Why didn’t you ever move on from me?”

William was taken aback by the question.  The notion was absurd to him.  “Why would I ever want to do that?”

Aberdeen couldn’t believe his answer.  Was there really nobody else for him?  Nobody in Sweden that summer he could have had fun with?  Nobody in Toronto he could call?  She didn’t know why he insisted on his life revolving around just her when she’d barely given him anything the past six months, three of which were spent in two separate continents.  Was he insane?  Was she?

A car pulled up in front of the house, and Aberdeen knew it was his Uber.  He glanced at it before taking one last look at her.  “Have a good night, Aberdeen.  I’ll see you Thursday morning.”

She watched him get into the car, watched it pull out of the driveway and drive down the street.  When she opened the door and stepped back into her house, she saw Siena waiting for her.  “You’re fucked,” was all she said.

Aberdeen nodded.  If other people could see it, then she needed to start accepting it.  “I know.”

[kaalamarii]

Karaoke Headcanons

I left out Barbatos, Simeon, and Luke but I’m pretty proud of this ridiculousness.

Hope you like it, anon!

Lucifer

Absolutely scoffs at the thought of karaoke

Cause he’s a bitch

Who in all the worlds would ever find this fun???

It’s loud

All these songs are abhorrent

ugh , these flashing lights are too much

But these drinks are pretty good.

Like, really good.

Lucifer has a lot of them.

Basically gets white girl wasted.

“I cAn SiNg WaY bEtTeR tHaN yOu CaN, sAtAn...”

MC and his brothers finally talk him into going up

Slurs his way through Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York”

Has a pretty good voice actually. It’s kind of deep and clear (despite the drunkenness) and fits the Sinatra sound perfectly.

He stays up for several songs and tries to fight his brothers when they try to pull him off stage

MC and Diavolo finally convince him to let someone else have a turn

And to get some water.

Wakes up the next morning with a hoarse voice and no recollection of the night until he sees the videos his brothers took

Probably bans them from their phones until he has a chance to delete them all

(he doesn’t know about the ones Diavolo has though)

Mammon

Totally up for karaoke

“Gotta show off my talent”

Steals the bartender’s tips when nobody’s looking

Also steals the bathroom attendant’s tips

And other random stuff he finds

Takes a million photos and videos of drunk Lucifer

Chooses the common songs

“Don’t Stop Believing”

“Living on A Prayer”

“Sweet Caroline” (with his brothers and MC doing the BA-BA-BA!, of course)

Is a decent singer and actually puts on a pretty good show

Probably gets kicked out when they find out he’s the one stealing everybody’s tips

Lucifer makes him go back the next night to work to pay back what he stole

Leviathan

Isn’t super keen on going but is slightly interested because he saw karaoke on an anime once

MC talks him into going

Takes a handheld game with him and plays almost the entire time

Refuses to sing until MC calls him up to do a duet with them

And actually finds it kind of fun

Excited to find a couple of anime theme songs and a bunch of kpop

Gets jealous and sad sacky if MC does duets with anyone else

Poor baby is not a good singer

But he’s trying!

Posts commentary on the night:

“Lolololol lucifer is super drunk”; “Mammon just spilled drinks all over the place. Loser.”; “Satan just totally threw up in here rofl”

Gets angry when a drunken Mammon heckles him and refuses to do anymore songs

Pouts the rest of the night

Secretly downloads the songs he sang with MC and puts on one man shows for Henry in his bedroom

Satan

Also thinks karaoke is dumb

But Lucifer is annoyed with it so Satan’s down to go

Asks MC and Solomon what the most annoying songs to sing are so he can drive Lucifer crazy

“500 Miles”

“MmmBop”

“Achy Breaky Heart”

A very awkward rendition of “My Heart Will Go On”

It’s ridiculous because he doesn’t knows the words

But he’s so determined to give Lucifer a hard time

The drunker he and Lucifer gets the more funny it is to everyone else

They actually end up doing a really sloppy duet of “Bohemian Rhapsody” that astounds everyone

Sings out of tune, but isn’t the worst singer of the bunch

Mammon gets him to sing “Happy” by Pharrell Williams

Satan hates it.

Never admits that he had a lot of fun that night and actually found some new songs that he likes

Gets Achy Breaky Heart stuck in his head for weeks after much to his chagrin

(congratulations, you played yourself)

Asmodeus

Asmo LOVES karaoke

Has a great voice and great stage presence

Gets super dressed up, hair, makeup, heels

Asmo’s a freakin’ star

Sings a lot of cheesy love songs and “dedicates” them to MC

Also sings a lot of sexually charged songs like

“Cherry Pie” by Warrant

And “Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred

Definitely does “Like A Virgin” and “I Touch Myself”

You know he and MC do a “All The Single Ladies” with complete dance moves

Flirts with the bartender to get free drinks

Takes selfies and live streams on Devilgram all night

Beelzebub

Is interested as soon as MC tells him about greasy bar food

But also thinks it sounds like it could be fun

Just wants to eat and be around his favorite people

Likes all kinds of music

Isn’t a big singer but can carry a simple tune

Sings a bunch of random songs that everyone else picks for him

“If You Like Pina Coladas”

“Pour Some Sugar On Me”

Mostly does duets with the others though

MC and Solomon are impressed with how much alcohol Beel can put away before he’s even slightly tipsy

He doesn’t drink or sing much because he’s more interested in the food and watching the cute little shows his friends and family put on

Gets upset when the kitchen runs out of food and throws a bit of tantrum until MC steps in and promises to get him more food once they head home

Belphegor

Doesn’t really want to go but Beel wants him to and so does MC

So he goes

You know this bitch sleeps most of the night

Could be a good singer but doesn’t care enough

Doesn’t really go up on stage to sing unless it’s with Beel or MC

By himself he does a couple of songs, probably something slow like “Hey Jude”

Or something emo like “The Black Parade”

Doesn’t drink, it makes him too sleepy

Rolls his eyes at everything Lucifer and Diavolo say or do

Diavolo

It was Diavolo’s idea to take everyone to karaoke!

Solomon told him about it and he was so excited!

Friends! Music! Drinks! Diavolo couldn’t think of anything more fun!

He asks Solomon and MC’s advice for songs to sing and they pick a few for him

Of course, they troll him

“You should definitely check out this song called ‘Friday’ by Rebecca Black”

“Yeah, it’s really popular in the human world.”

“Also, you and Lucifer should do a duet of Summer Nights from Grease.”

“Make sure Lucifer does Sandy’s parts”

MC makes him a playlist on his D.D.D. and this cutie pie memorizes every song on there.

Makes Barbatos practice with him ahead of time.

Is a great singer, of course

And a very good entertainer.

Wants to stay all night, still singing as the bar is closing up and everyone else is falling asleep.

“We’ll be back next weekend!” (groans from everyone else)

Makes everyone go every weekend for a month and a half until Barbatos has to talk him out of it.

Everyone pulls cash together to get Diavolo a karaoke machine.

It’s one of his prized possessions and they all agree to a karaoke night once every two months.

Diavolo uses it constantly much to Barbatos’ dismay.

MC continues to add songs to his playlist.

Solomon and MC

Sing “What’s New Pussycat” 21 times, with “It’s Not Unusual” after the seventh “What’s New Pussycat”

Masterlist  

[themetaphorgirl]

Please please please share your thoughts on William Reid, I absolutely hate that man

ALL RIGHT CAKE POPS WE ARE TALKING ABOUT WILLIAM REID TODAY

so here’s what we know.

honestly, not much.

Spencer never speaks about his father. We only see him two episodes- the flashbacks in Revelations in season 2 and the Riley Jenkins storyline in Memoriam in season 4. And part of the Riley Jenkins arc is that Dr. Spencer “I Have An Eidetic Memory” Reid has blocked out some of his childhood memories. 

So there’s not a whole lot of information, but also there’s a lot to pick up on. 

we don’t know anything about William and Diana before Spencer was born. He was a lawyer and she was a professor of medieval literature. Maybe they crossed paths in their college days?

Honestly, since the Criminal Minds writers seem to have taken a lot of inspiration from Diana Goodman for Diana Reid, I like to think that Spencer was an accident and they eloped when she got pregnant. William seems like the type to propose out of a sense of responsibility. And it would explain a lot with how behaves towards Spencer. 

So we know in Spencer’s childhood, William coached Spencer’s little league team when he was four years old, and Spencer flat out tells Morgan he doesn’t have any good memories of childhood sports. That’s a yike right there. We also know that when the therapist hypnotizes Spencer and he’s reliving his memory from when he was four, she says “your parents are fighting again.” So that’s something to unpack right there. 

And with the whole situation with Riley Jenkins and Gary Michaels, Diana knew something was up, and William completely blew off her concerns. Didn’t do any followup on the the idea that his four-year-old son had been approached by a pedophile. Didn’t do any followup until she came home covered in blood, and he burned her clothes and they moved. So there’s anther yike.

The only other childhood memory Spencer has is the flashbacks in Revelations when his father leaves. And make no mistake- Diana is not a great parent to Spencer in this scene either. Diana says “you could take Spencer with you,” and William doesn’t acknowledge it, he just says “don’t do this” to her. And he leaves.

And Spencer never sees him again. He apparently left a letter for Spencer (the same way Gideon left a letter when he abandoned him too) but we never find out what William said. Whatever it was, it wasn’t meaningful to him.

So Spencer spends the next seventeen years without his dad in his life. And one of the primary reasons William gives for walking out on his wife and child is “ If you refuse to take care of yourself, I can't help you.” Oh, okay, so ten-year-old Spencer is left to take care of his mother while also starting high school and moving to California to start college at the age of twelve. Very cool. Awesome. Great parenting.

(I have a lot of feelings on this situation too. and Diana. how Spencer wasn’t taken away by CPS I will never know. she loved him so much, but lord.)

anyways.

the next time Spencer sees his father, he’s looking into the death of Riley Jenkins. And he finds his dad easily because William lived nine miles away from him for the rest of his childhood and never spoke to him. Never called, never wrote, never saw him. He abandoned ten-year-old Spencer to take care of his mother and raise himself, and he didn’t even bother to get a new job.

so the key scene is when Spencer goes to the law firm with Morgan and Rossi. He’s so panicked he doesn’t even speak to the receptionist, Rossi has to speak for him. He runs out to the bathroom, presumably to throw up from the way he covers his mouth.

And jesus, the scene in William’s office. Spencer is hovering, too anxious and angry to sit down, and you can tell by Morgan and Rossi’s body language that they’re on the offense. They don’t like this guy.

And William can tell, and he’s desperately trying to play it off. “You don’t look like me anymore. You used to. Everybody said so.” “I stopped being surprised by Spencer’s mind a long time ago.”

And it isn’t working, and he’s smiling and laughing and trying to act like everything’s fine, and the second they say they want access to his records, the demeanor drops. He’s mean. He snaps at them. Any pretense of being nice is gone. When he’s brought in to the station and Spencer is questioning him, he’s sharp and defensive. 

now just imagine little Spencer growing up with a dad like that, who’s quiet and mild-mannered, until he gets pushed too far.

Anyways. William shows up for another scene or two in the episode, primarily the scene with Diana when they explain what happened. William uses the Riley Jenkins situation as the reason he left Diana. The whole conversation is upsetting, and honestly- it’s bullshit.

“But the knowing, you can't burn that away. It changes everything.”

“Is that why you left?”

“I tried to keep us together, Spencer. I swear to you, but the weight of that knowledge, it was too much.”

“You could have come back. Could have started over.”

“I didn't know how to take care of you anymore. When I lost that confidence, there was no going back.”

That’s bullshit. He wasn’t confident enough to take of his ten-year-old son? He was willing to cut him out of his life completely because he was an adult who couldn’t get his own shit together? Even if he didn’t want to stay married to Diana, he could have taken care of his child. But he didn’t care. He only cared about himself.

I think it’s really telling that William never shows up again after that, outside of the occasional reference to his childhood. Spencer never reconnected with his father. William Reid didn’t deserve to reconnect with him. He was right- there was no going back. 

in conclusion, William Reid is a piece of shit and the worst parent of any BAU team member, and I hate him very much.

[simptasia]

ultimate ship meme ask <3 for science trio!

ah, thank you! i’m so sorry it took me this long to respond, i didn’t mean for 2 bloody weeks to pass. i kept procrastinating or being too tired

daniel + charlotte + miles

General:

Rate the Ship Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OT3 to Rule all other OT3s

How long will they last? 

eternity and then some

How quickly did/will they fall in love?

daniel @ charlotte, i’m thinking like a week or so. kinda hit him like a bullet

charlotte @ daniel, two or three weeks

daniel @ miles, somewhere from a couple of months to a year

charlotte @ miles, in living timeline didn’t happen, in limboverse, i’ll give her 3 months. and she loved him as a friend already anyways. i imagine it’s her who brings miles into the fold, allowing the sci trio to be fully realised

miles @ daniel and charlotte, oh Fuck Knows. it happens, but [shrugs]. and i like the idea that miles didn’t realise he was in love with daniel and charlotte (and sawyer and juliet) until waaay after their time together. like he falls in love with richard and then The Power Of Hindsight kinda fucks him over

(and for anybody who gets snippy saying that “a couple of weeks is too quick to fall in love!” or some shit: my bf fell in love with me in 2 weeks, and for me it took a month. so nyeh. also hurley/libby, sayid/shannon and charlie/claire)

How was their first kiss?

all of these take place in limboverse

daniel/charlotte: so i imagine this happens like right after they Remember, so emotions are running high and char is like “i’m gonna do something i should have done when we were alive” and just sorta grabs dan’s face and <3

and dan is stunned for a second and then sinks into it. you know that lovely trope of somebody being kissed and their eyes are open and then they practically melt closed from the kissy feelings. and they’re soulmates and this has been a long time coming and i feel cliche but uh, fireworks

daniel/miles: so the three of them have started Their Thing and like, they’re in a sexual relationship now but because char started this, dan is unsure about like, do him and miles do... stuff... together too? is that a thing? they were all touching each other during The Event. plus dan isn’t exactly sure how he feels about miles, but he’s been slowly getting more attracted to him over time. and also dan’s never been with a guy before. so yeah dan is overthinking things and meanwhile, miles is like “if he’s up for it, i’m down” but keeping his distance because like, it’s dan and he doesn’t know if dan is into him

that was a long build up to say, eventually the dan/miles side of the triangle does get figured out and after a moment of awkwardness dan kisses miles, tentative at first and then That Spark happens and they both get into it. at one moment miles pulls back just a bit and dan deliriously like... chases his mouth. because it turns out kissing miles is awesome. and miles notes dan’s a good kisser too, and dan isn’t even offended at the surprised in miles’ tone. 

so in short, dan and miles’ first kiss went on for longer than miles expected because dan got tingly soup brain

also in both of dan’s first kisses with these two he kept his hands to himself outta 1. not thinking clearly because Mouth Things and 2. awkwardness. both char and miles had to grab dan’s hands and place them upon themselves, to remind him, you have these, please use them (there’s a line i give char: “i think you’d find i have many lovely things below my shoulders, dan”). from then on, dan is Characteristically Handsy. annnnyways!

charlotte/miles: it was very shortly after they met actually. pierre introduced them at the museum and there was attraction yes, but also this spark which they both wordlessly acknowledge. when pierre has left (just to get coffee hjjdhasa), they talk for a bit and then casually agree to go somewhere private. a coat check room. they got hit with familiarity and both of them being the type of people who have casual sex that information translated into “i’m gonna fuck this person now”

so basically their first kiss was messy, frantic, impulsive, clothes quickly being taken off, etc etc. thats how their friends with benefits thing started, even before they were friends, really. this was years ago and they became besties

Wedding:

in this set-up, it’d be dan and char getting married

Who proposed?

dan, technically but it wasn’t a surprise. marriage was something both of them discussed for a while before and char was the one who brought it up

(and here is where she jokes “you know what my mum would say about me marrying an american” and daniel gets an Awful Feeling from that)

Who is the best man/men?

well, miles, of course. richard is also one of the groomsman <3

Who is the braid’s maid(s)?

Why Weren’t You Allowed To Have Lady Friends

and besides that, most of the available women in lost have Moved On

annnnd i just remembered char has two sisters. chelsea and chloe

Who did the most planning?

char. it’s not that dan doesn’t care, it’s just she just has more preferences. patterns and colours and things like that. but they all pitch in at least a little

tho miles is the least help. at one point char holds up two swatches for bridesmaids dresses and asks which one he likes more (she’ll decide herself, she just wants Interaction, for her nerves) and miles doesn’t look up from his magazine and says “the left one”. char is annoyed and he says “whichever one is closest to purple”. they’re each a shade of green and blue

Who stressed the most?

oh, char. she never thought she’d get married so she’s never really emotionally prepared herself for it. or for planning a event like this. she isn’t paitent with people she doesn’t already like so dealing with wedding business people has been a task. and just. marriage isn’t stressful, weddings are. which is why dan is gonna be a good boy and absolutely help. and miles is also helping...

char: and how exactly have you been helping??

miles: [serious tone] i’m the plucky comic relief

char: [death glare]

miles: ...i’ll go pick up the flowers

- later -

daniel: heeey miles, you know how you and charlotte like to playfully snipe at each other? ...you can’t do that right now, she’s kinda stressed

miles: [wheeling in dozens of lillies] yeah, i figured that

char, from the other room: WHY ARE CAKES SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE

How fancy was the ceremony?

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

i’ll give this a 7 outta 10 on the “ooh aah” scale. oh yeah they could absolutely afford a huge fuck off wedding but they didn’t want one. also another reason they didn’t have a Huge Wedding is that dan, char and miles legit don’t know enough people i always picture their wedding happens in like a park. a nice one. and there’s a real prevalant flower motif happening here. arch covered in flowers, petals on the ground, lotsa white lillies about. there’s a real English Garden / cottage aesthetic vibe to this. char’s got a flower in her hair and i just decided her wedding dress has like cloth white flowers on it, not all over it. so like, the whole thing is cute and elegant  and flowery and more expensive than it looks. the main colours being used are white, light blue and lilac

oh oh, the cake is chocolate on the inside! and it’s white (duh) but with lilac flower trim around each layer. char never planned for a wedding before but once she adjusted to the idea she was like “this is gonna be really really pretty”

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?

eloise. no explanation needed

Sex:

Who is on top?

well, everybody who can be, has been. char has defo given dan and miles the strap. the least toppage going on is dan topping miles. very rarely happens

Who is the one to instigate things?

well, char is the Most instigate-y and dan is the least instigate-y, with miles in the middle. and damn if that doesn’t sum up their dynamic

How healthy is their sex life?

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

gonna give them all, overall, a reasonable eight. it happens a Lot, but it’s not a crazy amount. (except when dan and char are trying for a baby, then dan is... dan is... lovingly tenderized)

there’s diff variables (heh) at play here, but for the most part theres quite a bit of sex going all around. so yeah, their neighbours don’t like them very much, because char is Really Really Loud and easily satisfied

How kinky are they?

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

that 8 is via the power of char and miles’ kinky tastes

dan is decidedly more vanilla but willing to try new things. and he’s got some latent kinks/fetishes hiding in him that these two bring out of him

i’ve gone into this many times but basically char is into being dominating, miles loves pain and as far as dan’s brain is concerned, Charlotte Is A Fetish

there’s more going on than that, but i’m being succint

How long do they normally last?

miles doesn’t last notably long, or notably short. but he seems like a real stayer in comparison to dan and charlotte. char comes quickly and repeatedly

dan, oh dan, he’s not. he’s not lasting long. this is not bad thing. he was worried about it at first but char is a-okay with this. she wuvs her boy. and besides, he has pretty good recovery. so second round if the first round was like a bit “oh”

dan is sensitive (and autistic!), sex is a Lot for him. anyways miles has defo joked about these two cumming at the drop of a hate. another reason the neighbours are annoyed, Please Go To Sleep Charlotte (nyet)

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms?

nobody here is unsatisified

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it

on this scale, i’m giving dan/char a 2 to 4, char/miles a 5 to 10 and dan/miles a 3 to 6. and all together oh... anything could happen

the general “rule” is Take It Easy On Dan, He’s Delicate

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory

so much. so much cuddle snuggle uwuwuwuwu no no get back here miles you cannot escape, come back here and be loved

dan is a major cuddler, very tactile, char is pretty affectionate. miles used to be “meh” on affection but he’s warm to it these three cuddling in bed lives rent free in my head 24/7

Children:

How many children will they have naturally?

i’ve given dan and char 4 kids (three girls and a boy). penny, ada, marie and isaac. i’ve made charts about this

hypothetically, like in sims, i’ve given char and miles a daughter but i’m not commited to that idea, like i don’t have that in my Internal Canon

but he’s their papa too, emotionally <3

How many children will they adopt?

none, unless you count rats

Who gets stuck with the most diapers?

dan’s job requires the least Work, so he’s at home more often, so yeah

Who is the stricter parent?

char, but she’s not strict strict, this is just in comparison to daniel “but i can’t say mean things to my babies” faraday and miles “wanna learn how to shoplift?” straume. she’s not a Mean Nagging Mum stereotype tho, i won’t allow it

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school?

dan and char are Equally “you can’t be doing stuff like this, it’s not safe” whilst miles is lowkey encouraging it. but after a stern look he has to admit riding a scooter on the school roof is kinda fucked up. like miles is... miles but he doesn’t want his babies like actually hurt, he’s still a good dad

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)?

dan dan the photographic memory man

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

char, because i think that’d be really funny. and i want all of them to go to at least one meeting together, because they heard some bitch refer to their daughter marie as “that weird child” and that she warned her children to keep away from dan, char and miles kids. and also she refered to dan, char and miles as “deviants” cuz she feels kids shouldn’t have three parents

soooo char is going to publicly cut her down. verbally and viciously. dan and miles are also angery but they’re there to make sure char doesn’t actually physically beat this woman. and also this final caveat:

miles: [eating a sad looking muffin] and your muffins suck too

Who cried the most at graduation?

char but dan and miles are crying too

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law?

MILES IS A COP!!! and it’s never felt so good until the moment ada got busted for drinking at a party when she was only 17. oh miles isn’t that abusing your authority? “yeah but every cop does that, i may as well do it for my kid”

yeah, that crime is  the worst thing i could think of for this, i don’t think these people’s kids would do like actual bad crimes

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking?

you know, i tend to picture miles cooking the most. my typical default for imagining char and miles chatting is that they’re in the kitchen, she’s holding tea and he’s making something on the stove. typically mac & cheese. or bacon

but really i think they all cook a decent amount

Who is the most picky in their food choice?

dan because he’s autistic and has some medical requirements, like my esoteric headcanon that he cannot digest meat at all

Who does the grocery shopping?

char and miles are more used to it, whilst i imagine dan has barely set foot in a grocery store in his life. but upon, like, being a grown up, he starts going more with char and miles and he likes it, for the most part. the lights are a bitch, tho

i think dan does it the least, miles the most, and char and miles go together more often than not. oh, and when char is out of pads and she forgot to stock up, miles is the designated Get Me Pads And Painkillers You Bastard man

tho that trope always confused me, as somebody who has at least 5 packages of pads in my pad drawer at all times. are there really period having people who don’t stock up ahead of time and have to ask their significant other?

but i digress

How often do they bake desserts?

not notably often, but i’ve defo imagined miles making Special Brownies

which daniel proceeded to eat all of in a fit of I’m Suddenly Very Hungry

what’s that puddle over there? oh it’s just dan

but anyways thinking on this, i can see these three making a cake together. and it goes a little wonky because their kitchen is small and Too Many Cooks. but a flat chocolate cake is a cake nonetheless. monch

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater?

dan: salad, the other option is No Good, so my boy is a vegetarian

char: i’ve made her more a meat lover than a veggie lover (tis her love of a proper English Breakfast) but not overally so

miles: defo likes meat (and savoury things in general) over salad. he’s not one of those guys whose a dickhead about it tho. veggies are just alright to him

tho i can see miles teasing dan about his “rabbit food diet” (which isn’t even apt because rabbits aren’t in the habit of mainlining noodles and pasta)

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner?

aaahh this feels like something dan would do, he wants to be ~womantic~

Who is more likely to suggest going out?

char, the extroverted outdoorsy one

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking?

dan because he got distracted by something. like he was cooking something in the oven and then some Musical Thoughts overtake him and he’s gotta write it down and wait 30 minutes have past OH GOD THE PIE BEEP BEEP BEEP

Chores:

Who cleans the room?

The Room. the Singular Room

anyways they all clean, it’s not very interesting to think about

Who is really against chores?

none of them. miles will half-heartedly complain sometimes but he grew up used to helping out around the house

Who cleans up after the pets?

dan and char clean up after their rats and cat because they are responsible pet owners. and char will clean miles’ wounds because jean-luc is a bastard cat

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug?

what kind of idiot... No!

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over?

i can’t see this, like any of them getting stressed about that

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning?

miles’ dollar now

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths?

dan takes longer showers, char takes longer baths

Who takes the dog out for a walk?

no dog, only kitty. kitties don’t go for walks

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays?

ohh i imagine char decks the place out for christmas. she loves christmas because good family memories. and also she has knitted christmas jumpers for her boys (and cat). christmas and halloween is the only major holiday that they got ham for. and by they, i mean char and miles

dan is just happy to be here

char: you know miles, it’s january and that little bat is still hanging above the fireplace

miles: if you wanna take him down, you can

char: ...no, i just wanted to adknowledge him

dan: he’s part of the family

What are their goals for the relationship?

uh, love, sex and babies. duh

Who is most likely to sleep till noon?

miles. coffee keeps him on his work schedule

Who plays the most pranks?

well, miles, obviously. i can’t think of any because i don’t really go for pranks but nothing elaborate, simple stuff. does that “orders a black coffee at macdonalds when your kids are in the backseat” count as a prank. miles would do that, pause for enough time for the kids to be like :O and then ask for their orders

there! done! wowee, bless any y’all who take the time to read All Of That