#every time i start thinking hey maybe i should like... make an effort to connect w ppl.. and then it goes bad im like ok. killin myself ig

[lesbienneanarchiste]

So tired of complaining so just insert one of my many repetitive boring ass posts about how lonely and exhausted and ugly I am here to save all of us the time

[honeytonedhottie]

decentering men and recentering urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💅🏽💓

the secret to decentering men and not having ur entire world revolving around them (bcuz it should be revolving around you, duh) is having a fulfilling life. it makes me ICK so bad when im watching a video or reading a post and im rly loving it, and then it'll find SOME way to make it revolve around men. like can we not?…💬🎀

WHY WE CENTER THE OPPOSITE SEX ;

a lot of people find themselves centering their lives around the opposite sex in an attempt to fill a void within themselves. they do it because they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, or maybe its learned behavior. whatever the reason is, its NOT hot.

some things that someone who centers men might think are "oh my life is so boring, maybe it would be spiced up if i got with a man" or "maybe it'll bring some excitement into my day" like EUGHHH. obviously the solution is to find ways to make our lives fulfilling but how do we do that? and how do we get to the root cause and squash this self sabotaging behavior?

SELF AWARENESS ;

if u have nothing going on for u, ofc ur gonna be energetically desperate and accepting anything and EVERYTHING. practice self awareness and try to get to the root cause of why u center men through things like shadow work, therapy, or just straight up having an honest conversation with urself cuz i swear it helps.

when you make the conscious effort to build ur dream life you'll notice that people that are on the same mindset as you will vibe with the REAL you. the need to fake/adjust urself to fit in with other people will dissipate because ur fitting into ur own standards and ur connections will be more meaningful because of it.

TAKE UR POWER BACK ;

no ones actions should ruin ur day or make u upset for more then a day (even less) cuz its YOUR world. 💕🍰

make time for YOU, doll. plan self care routines for urself every week. doing face masks, journalling, vision boarding, WHATEVER U LIKE TO DO. making time for urself reminds u that ur the main character of ur life so u dont have to settle for crumbs.

stop giving that power to someone else and dictate how u feel, NOT the actions of a significant other or the opposite sex or anybody. the reason why its important to make sure that ur the center of ur own life is so that you can be happy and fulfilled regardless of if there is a man or if there isnt a man present. so the objective is to decenter men -> and then put yourself at the center

GET A HOBBY ;

find something to make ur life fulfilling. pursue ur OWN interests and try out different hobbies if ur unsure of what ur interests are yet. cultivate ur world to the point where it GLEAMS with perfection and then do a little extra. build a life that u love so much that whether u get male attention or validation doesnt even matter cuz their opinions have little to no relevance 💀

challenge yourself: next time you catch yourself thinking, ‘would a guy like this?’ flip it and ask urself "hey, do i like this?" start checking with yourself first instead of checking with others.

MAKING THE DECISION TO DECENTER MEN ;

decentering men simply means that ur deciding to no longer think, feel, act, dress, or plan ur life around a man or for the validation of any man…💬🎀

relationships will actually get BETTER when u decenter the opposite sex. cuz ur not looking for someone to compete with and ur whole on ur own. this sets the stage for balance and mutual respect and THATS hot.

you can be in a relationship and still decenter men. decentering men simply means that you are the priority, not the relationship. how can we tell if we're decentering men or not? here are a few questions to help you know if u are ->

if i did not care about looking good to the opposite sex what would i actually like to wear?

if i did not get married, how could i create the best and most abundant life for myself?

what hobbies/interests do i have that dont involve being around men/have male attention as a component of it?

[veltana]

Mafia AU prequels - Bucky's break-up

✦ Pairing: Stucky/Fem!Reader ✦ Word count: ~1.7k ✦ Rating: Mature ✦ Warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, mild swearing, angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, lots of fluff and feels, platonic cuddling, sharing a bed, Bucky is a dramatic drunk, unrequited love/crush, mention of loki/reader. ✦ Summary: The thing with roommates is that you will hear them during sex occasionally, it can’t be avoided with thin walls in an old building. But since that Wednesday Bucky never once slept alone and the rest of the time he was hardly in the apartment. ✦ Note: This is a prequel to No one as sweet as you set while they were living together in college, which focuses on their growing relationship and how Bucky and Steve started to develop feelings for Sweets as more than just their best friend. You don't need to read No one as sweet as you to get this but I recommend it. (Also posted on AO3)

Series masterlist

Masterlist | AO3

Bucky and Dot broke up on a Wednesday around lunch. On Wednesday night Bucky had a new girl in his bed and you and Steve shrugged, put on your headphones, and waited for it to blow over.

The thing with roommates is that you will hear them during sex occasionally, it can’t be avoided with thin walls in an old building. But since that Wednesday Bucky never once slept alone and the rest of the time he was hardly in the apartment.

With your room right in between Steve and Bucky’s, you took the brunt of the sounds and on Friday morning you decided to take shelter in Steve’s room because the girl was a screamer and you had barely slept for two days.

Now it’s Tuesday, around one am and both Steve and you are awake, listening to the moans and sounds making their way through your room and into Steve’s.

"How does he even do it?" Steve sounds a little amazed as you both lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. "Drugs?" you ask. "Honestly, it has to be, how else is he going at it all the time like that?" "Maybe they're all faking it?" you suggest.

"I've never heard anyone complain about him," Steve shrugs. "But I mean statistically he can’t get it right for everyone every time." "If he does, he is one of a kind," you decide. "Tempted to go for a ride?" You hear the smile in Steve's voice without even looking. "No, not really," you grimace. "We should do something, I’m not sure it’s healthy anymore."

"Yeah I know, Sweets, but if I try and grab him like he did with me when I was sad about Peggy he is probably going to punch me," Steve sounds concerned too.

Sweets, that dorky nickname they both have decided to call you because you happen to like all things sweet. Somehow it had stuck, even though you protested. "I can try and talk to him," you pause before continuing. "If he is ever alone again."

Suddenly the front door slams and you realize that the sounds have stopped. Sharing a look both of you rush out of bed, finding Bucky in the kitchen, downing a gallon of juice.

"Want some?" He holds it out when he sees you. The smell of alcohol on his breath is strong, even when you’re a few feet away, pulling out a chair to sit down across from where he’s standing. "No thank you," you answer while Steve leans against the fridge. "So, who was that?" you ask.

Bucky shrugs. "Don't know, met her at a bar." "Are you using protection?" Steve asks with a raised eyebrow. Bucky straightens up, putting the open juice jug down hard on the counter, making liquid slosh out, looking at Steve with black eyes that you’ve never seen before.

"Of course I am, do you think I'm fucking dumb or somethin'," he snarls. Bucky tends to be a little dramatic when he's drunk. In an effort to calm him down you reach out to him. "Hey, Bucky, it's okay, he wasn't-" The moment your fingers touch his arm, he turns and moves his hand. "Don't fucking touch me," he says and the palm of his hand connects with your underarm.

Out of surprise and not because it hurts, you yelp and look up at Bucky, a little confused because he’s never reacted like that before. He stares back at you with horrified eyes, realization dawning on him. Slowly, without another word, he backs away and hurries over to his room, slamming the door behind him like a teenager in a fit.

Steve moves forward and grabs your arm, turning it over to see if you’re hurt. "What the fuck is wrong with him," he murmurs. "It's nothing, I was just surprised," you shrug. "I've hurt myself worse by bumping into tables." "That is no fucking excuse." Steve lets go and starts towards Bucky's door. Before he can knock, Bucky opens it with a bag over his shoulder. He's changed into new clothes and his cap is pulled down low over his eyes.

Steve blocks the doorway and crosses his arms, asking "Where the fuck are you going?" "Heading out, move," Bucky mumbles and tries to duck past Steve but the other won't let him. "The fuck your not, you're gonna stay here and face whatever it is that you’re feeling," Steve's voice is laced with restrained anger. "And you're gonna apologize to Sweets."

You’re about to protest that you're not really hurt, but Steve shoots a look over his shoulder and you clamp your mouth shut. "We understand that you're sad about Dot," Steve is softer now and he leans on the doorframe, giving Bucky a way out but he doesn't take it, he just stands there, looking at the ground.

"You don't understand shit, Steve," Bucky mutter. "Have you even cried?" Steve asks and that makes Bucky’s head snap up, his mouth a thin line. "Real men don't fucking cry," he hisses. They stare at each other for a long while, then Steve points to you. "Can real men apologize when they're being a fucking ass?" Steve asks with poorly hidden disdain.

This is a sore spot for both of them and has been the grounds for arguments before. Bucky has some views on what it means to be a man that neither Steve nor you share. It has gotten better over the years according to Steve but you have not seen Bucky cry once, not to sad movies or when he’s been injured, or even had his heart broken. It's concerning, but maybe you and Steve can help him with that one day.

The bag lands on the floor with a thump and he walks past Steve to where you're sitting on the chair. Without a word he gets down on his knees in front of you and gently grabs your arm, pressing his lips against your skin murmuring "I'm sorry," repeatedly.

Steve has turned to look at you and you meet his eyes that are still hard and annoyed. You use your free hand to remove the cap and run your fingers through Bucky's hair, whispering, "It's okay."

When you do, Bucky stiffens and stops moving for a moment, then he lets go of your arm and buries his face in your pajama-clad lap, his voice trembling when he says, "I'll move out, I swear. I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, Sweets! I didn’t mean to hurt you! I love you so much."

Steve softens immediately and pushes off the door to settle on the floor beside him, rubbing his back. “No need for that Buck,” he says softly and you echo him. “I don’t want you to leave Bucky,” you grab one of his hands and gently press a kiss to the top of it before placing it back again.

After several minutes of silence, Bucky asks angrily into your legs, "Why the fuck does it have to hurt this much.” "I don't know," you answer truthfully. "I wish I never met her, never fucked her, never fucking loved her,” Bucky continues. "No, you don't," Steve argues. "I know it might feel like you will never be happy again but it will get better." Bucky lifts his head and Steve cups his face and brushes his cheeks, even though there are no tears there.

"We love you, and we will help you with anything you need," you promise. Bucky nods and lays his head down against your legs again with Steve's hand still on his cheek.

Eventually, Steve stands up and Bucky looks at him a little worried. "Not leaving, just gonna get another blanket for the bed," he reassures him. While Steve is gone Bucky says, "I'm sorry I hurt you, I love you, Sweets, more than you could ever know." And you smile because even though you know he’s exaggerating, it’s still nice to hear him say it. "I know Bucky, I know," you whisper.

When Steve comes back he pulls Bucky to his feet and guides him into the bedroom. You check the front door before turning all the lights out, then padding over to Steve's room too. They're cuddled together, Bucky's head pressed into Steve's shoulder and you move to slide in behind Bucky, but he grabs you around the waist and pulls you down between them. It makes you giggle and there is a weak smile answering on Bucky's face before you all settle in.

There is not even a light bruise left behind on your arm the next day, but you've never seen Bucky so remorseful. In the following weeks, he accompanies you around to classes, carries your stuff, and has sworn off drinking. Both you and Steve are skeptical because Bucky is famous for his partying but in the months that follow he often goes out but always comes home sober.

One day when you're having lunch at home together on the couch, you ask him about it.

First, he puts his food down before taking hold of your utensils and placing them on the table. Then he grabs you and pulls you into his lap, hugging you so tightly you can hardly breathe.

"I never want to put you in that situation again," he explains. "What if I get angry and do something worse, to you, or Steve, or anyone else." Hugging him back as best you can you say "Maybe you should talk to a professional about it?" "I'm on a waiting list," he replies.

You cuddle into him, really trying to show him that you mean it when you say, "Bucky I'm not afraid of you, I know you didn't mean to hurt me." "Don't make excuses for me," he says and picks up a strand of your hair, twirling it between his fingers.

The moment is cut off by your phone chiming and you wiggle out of his hold. When you pull it out a smile splits your face. "Have to go," you grab another spoonful of fried rice then get up. "Who was that?" Bucky asks.

Since you’re halfway to the door you don't pick up on his tone. "Just someone I've been seeing," "What's his name?" "Loki, he's from Europe!" You turn around with a smile and throw him a kiss before you're out the door.

Bucky feels his heart break, again, only this time he has no excuse to be sad about it because you aren't his.

prev | next

[vickytaa]

Those Blue Eyes"

Final part

(Part 1, Part 2)

☆

Weeks pass by, and the triplets and I have been hanging out everywhere, anytime.

Nick is awesome, we have been helping each other with everything, at school, in our love life, friends, family, and others.

Chris always makes me laugh with any joke he does. He is so silly.

And Matt it's just Matt. But every time I am with him, the tension between us is bigger.

At school, I have the 2nd best grades from my class. So every time someone has a doubt, asks me. That's not a problem for me, I mean, it's more like a recognition of my efforts.

Trying to solve a math equation, I hear a familiar voice."Hey," Matt said. I turn around just to make sure he is speaking to me. "Yeah you, Y/n". "Oh, hi, what's up?" I said, thinking he must just wanted my math answer, while I stare at his big blue eyes, so beautiful and mesmerizing that he can see through your soul, your thoughts and emotions.

"I know we don't talk that much, but I wanted to see if maybe, I don't know, like.. you, mmm... you may want to.. you know.." Matt started to get nervous. "Yes..?" Urging him to keep talking. " I wanted to ask you if you wanted to anywhere, like the beach, maybe to the park or anywhere you want," Matt said, I was shocked that Matthew Sturniolo has just asked me to go on a date with him. I was so lost and surprised that I couldn't form any sentence. Then, I calmed down and asked, "Just the two of us?". " Yes, but, if you don't want to, I understand.. I- I mean you don't have to, so.." "Sure" I interrupted him. His eyes were wide open, and a big smile began to cover his entire face. "I'll be at your house at 7 pm," I said.

The teacher decided to keep talking, but I just couldn't take him out of my mind. I couldn't believe it, the same guy who called me idiot the first day he met me was asking me on a date, and I accepted. I started thinking of what I should wear, I mean, it's my first date so I have to be as much hot, cute and pretty as I could.

☆

Matt's POV

I've been thinking how to ask her to go on a date. She was the most beautiful girl I know, she is smart, fun, her hair, green eyes and her smile. Oh my god, how she smiles with her eyes, the way she laughs, and the way she makes me feel alive every time she is near by, although that when I look at her, she takes my breath away. 'She is just perfect'.

In math class I took courage and approached her. "Hey," I said, as her beautiful green eyes landed on me. "Yeah, you, Y/n". "Oh, hii, what's up?" She says. I could barely breath. I try to connect the words on my mind to make a sentence. "I know we don't talk that much, but I wanted to see if maybe, I don't know, like.. you, mmm... you may want to.. you know.." Fuck. My neurons disappeared as our eyes exchanged glances, it was as if they were speaking, without words.

"Yes..?" She said with a confused face. I knew I had to do it. I took a deep breath and said " I wanted to ask you if you wanted to anywhere, like the beach, maybe to the park or anywhere you want,". I closed my eyes as trying to make sure that it was real.

"Just the two of us?" She asked." Yes, but, if you don't want to, I understand.. I- I mean you don't have to, so.." "Sure" She said. I was so shocked. I couldn't respond. I didn't say anything but I knew she realized how happy I was.

☆

Y/n Pov

7:00 pm

I was standing in front of the door, still. I was wearing a cute short white dress, a very special one because my mom bought it for me.

As soon as I knocked on the door, there he was, his unique smile and Those Blue Eyes.

"Ready?" I nodded.

We started walking towards the beach, in silence, but a comfortable one. The silence that makes you feel like home.

When we finally made it to the beach, he decided to talk. "So, tell me about you, why did you decide to move here?". It hit the weakest point of all.

"My country is not so safe to live in, so my family and I decided to find a better future for me. And then I moved here. It's been hard not to see my mom and dad every day, to leave my friends behind, but when I'm with you and your brothers, everything it's way more easy to fight with. I mean, my aunt, Jess, your brothers and you are the most important things I have here." I sobbed.

"And it has been very difficult to continue dealing with my anxiety, and without my parents by my side" My heart opened. "I'm sorry" He said. "Don't worry, I like being with you because it helps, a lot." I smiled at him.

"I really enjoy being with you too." He stopped walking.

"Y/n, it's been a long time since I wanted to tell you this but, I love you" He said. " I love the way you smile with your beautiful eyes, the way you make me feel, the way you care about everyone's feelings, the way you make me feel alive, the way you are, the way your smile illuminates my day to day, the way you make me feel like home, the way your eyes talk with mines, and everything that makes you who you are."

He looked at me. His eyes conveying the truth as he hugs me. "Y/n, I love you."

He approaches me. I could feel the tension growing between us. Suddenly he grabs my cheeks with his hands and he kissed me. The kiss was sweet and slow but full of excitement.

I thought that I was dreaming. Matt and I, only us. The time stopped. His kiss was like a promise and a secret between us. Our hearts betting faster and faster.

I walked away just to see those blue eyes of his and be able to tell him "I love you too."

_______________________________________

Omgg, guys, it's finished, my first storyyy. Thanks for all your support, love yaa:))

[al1v3-p03ts-s0ci3ty]

One shot idea: Neil (or Todd) admitting to the other that they like them

(THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SO SORRY-)

Thank you so much for the ask!!! I haven't written much lately so this was a nice start! This ideas been sitting in my notes app for a while so thank you for getting me to finally write it!!

[Authors note! This is set in the 90s. There are mentions of Welton but just imagine that the timeline got shifted up a bit. They're all in their mid 20s. Also the cat name Allen IS based off of that super cool fruity poet Allen Ginsberg.]

Cramped in a small apartment full of boxes that seemed to pile to the ceiling, Neil and Charlie sat on the scratchy carpet of their new home.

They'd spent their whole morning moving box after box from the U-Haul truck, up 3 flights of stairs and finally into their apartment.

"Once we're done moving all this stuff maybe we could have a housewarming?" Neil said, taking big breaths between words. Both Neil and Charlie were completely exhausted from carrying things around all day.

"Maybe we could get the guys to do all the unpacking for us." Charlie joked, although there was a hint of seriousness in his voice.

Neil chuckled at his friends joke and a short silence followed.

"Do you think it was the right thing to do?" Neil's voice was quiet.

"What?"

"To move out, I mean... I know it's for the best and I should just move on..."

There was a pause. "But?" His friend chuckled sort of awkwardly trying to break the tension.

"I'm just gonna miss him." Neil responded, his tone was completely genuine and if you listened carefully you could hear his voice break.

Of course, they were talking about their friend Todd.

Neil and Todd had been inseparable since the day they met in Welton Academy. They spent every waking moment in each others company, they shared a room together, they had classes together, they went to Dead Poets meetings together.

Now, Neil had developed a crush on Todd during this time, and as much as he'd like to say "it's not a big deal" or "it was just a small crush" he'd be lying.

After a long talk with Charlie about his feelings for Todd they both decided that maybe he should move out. He'd spent a long time living with Todd, maybe it was time for a change?

"Well of course you're gonna miss him! You've been in love with him since the day you two met, that's not gonna be easy to get over-" Charlie wasn't even able to finish his thought before Neil cut him off.

"I'm not in love I just-" He couldn't possibly sound more defensive if he tried.

"Look, Neil." There was a short pause before Charlie spoke again, he needed to think of the right words. "You wanna get over him, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Then you're gonna spend some time apart from him..." He turned to face his friend. "If I'm being honest... I always just assumed he felt the same way about you."

"Don't do that, Char."

"Hey, I'm just being honest." Charlie's words came out in an unusually transparent tone.

/////

Finally, they had their place set up. Their apartment had an open floorplan with a small living room and kitchen that was separated by a short bar and stools. There was a hall that connected their bedrooms and bathroom to the living room.

A small couch, coffee table, tv. They tried to make it as homely as possible given that they'd only lived there for a few days. And it worked for the most part.

"When are they supposed to be here?" Charlie asked from behind the kitchen bar, he was watching the packet of popcorn turn in the microwave.

Neil glanced towards the clock they hung above the front door, it was 6pm. "Around now... Maybe they're just running late?"

And then, almost comically, someone knocked the door. Charlie seemed unphased by the sound and made no effort to answer the door. He was such a great host.

Neil pulled the door open. There was already a smile already plastered on his face before he saw his friend's.

They hugged then exchanged greetings and complimented the pair on the new apartment despite the fact that they barely had time to properly decorate, there were still a few boxes here and there.

"Hey." Todd was the last one in the room. Everyone else had gone into the living room and were making themselves at home. But for now it was just Neil and Todd in the doorway.

"Hey..."

There was chatter coming from the living room but the sound seemed fuzzy from where the pair were standing in the hall. Neil definitely wasn't paying attention, especially with Todd right in front of him.

"Oh!" Todd rummaged through his tote bag and pulled out a book, it had post it tabs sticking out the sides as though it had been annotated. "Here." He handed the book to Neil.

"Thanks..." Neil takes the book in his hands and glanced down at it for a moment.

"I forgot to give it back to you after I borrowed it, and then... Well you moved out..."

It was a small copy of The Great Gatsby, ironically though Neil related to the main character as they both had friends in their lives that they had sort of a 'gay yearning' for. Though, neither of them would ever really admit it.

"It was good!" He began. "It was really good." Although Todd was obviously excited to talk about the book, he still spoke in his usual quiet voice. "Daisy was my favourite character by far."

"I knew you'd love her." Neil said, glancing back up at Todd from the book with a smile on his face.

Now that the other boys had settled into the apartment they were, rather loudly, discussing what they should do together.

"Monopoly?" Pitts asked.

Charlie shook his head. "No way, Pittsie."

"Why not?"

"It's too basic. We should play a more exciting game...hmmm."

Neil lightheartedly rolled his eyes before making his own way into the room with Todd. 'Typical Charlie.' He thought. It was obvious Charlie knew what he wanted to play yet he was making everyone wait, he was so dramatic. 'Maybe he should join the theatre.'

Then, suddenly, Charlie's face lit up. "Twister!"

/////

After a too long game of Twister and a few rounds of Uno, Todd was exhausted. Beside him on the couch was Neil, it took everything in him to not lean against his friend and rest his head on his shoulder.

The group was laughing about something, Todd couldn't tell what exactly it was, he was just so tired. The only thing on his mind at this point (beside Neil) was going home and getting some sleep.

God knows what the time was by now. His eyelids were heavy and he had to stop himself from leaning back against the couch and passing out. Neil noticed, obviously.

"You doing okay?" He whispered. His voice was barely audible in comparison to the other boys.

All Todd could do was nod.

"Tired?" There was a sweet smile on Neil's lips.

That smile... Todd could feel his cheeks getting warm. He nodded again. "Just a little..." He replied with a yawn.

Neil's laugh was the sweetest sounding thing you could ever dream of hearing... Or at least that's what Todd thought. "Just a little? You look like you're gonna fall asleep."

Todd lazily shakes his head, earning another laugh from Neil

"You can stay the night if you want... That might be easier than taking the bus."

"Really?" Why did Todd sound so surprised? Of course Neil would let him stay the night, he wouldn't make Todd take the bus alone, especially so late.

"Of course!" Neil smiled wide.

/////

Once the other boys had left and the only remaining people in the apartment were Charlie, Neil and Todd, Neil gave his friend a tour of the new apartment. It didn't take long as the apartment was relatively small and Todd had already been there for a few hours, however, he did like humouring Neil. He was always so theatrical.

"This is where you'll be staying." He said while mimicking some kind of fancy host, it made Todd laugh.

The room was small but cosy nonetheless. Theatre posters in frames lined the walls, he had a vanity that he used as a desk and there was a strip of photo booth pictures of Todd and Neil tucked between the mirror and the frame. Todd tried so hard to seem unphased by it, though his rosy cheeks gave him away.

He had a bookshelf that was more than full already, the middle of the shelves were sagging under the weight of the many, many plays and novels he owned.

Of course there was a box or two in the corner, Neil hadn't had time to move many of his smaller things into the room yet.

"You sure I can stay the night in here?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you can."

Neil left the room to give Todd some privacy as he got changed. Todd couldn't help but look around at the room. He was so used to all these things being in Neil's room- 'his old room.' Todd corrected himself- in their apartment, but now they were here.

He put on his fluffy pyjama pants and an old loose shirt before he made himself comfortable on Neil's bed.

Soon after, Neil came into the room wearing different clothes, clothes that Todd had seen him wear before. Now he was getting nostalgic, Neil had only moved out a week ago.

"Hey!" Neil said. 'He looks so cute when he smiles.' Todd thought.

"Hey..." Todd replied in a whisper.

"You comfortable?" Neil joked. "You can sleep there, I'll be on the couch."

"What?" Todd sounded offended on the behalf of his friend.

"What?"

"You can't sleep on the couch, Neil- this is your room. Y-you should sleep in here."

Neil shook his head. "You're my guest. You should have the bed."

"But it's your apartment."

Neil was still stood in the doorway and Todd was still sat on the bed. Suddenly the energy in the room shifted, like there was something lingering under the surface of their conversation, something important and unspoken.

"Well you're already on the bed, Todd." Neil chuckled. Quickly though, Todd got up, stumbling a little at the speed at which he stood.

"Neil, I'm not letting you sleep on the couch."

"Well I guess we'll both just have to sleep on the couch then." Neil joked, though Todd didn't laugh, and just like that the air was tense.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch."

There was another pause between the two and they were both facing each other directly now.

"Then... I guess we'll just have to share the bed." Neil suggested, mostly joking. Key word being 'mostly'.

"Yeah..." Todd replied, his voice came out soft and quiet. "M-maybe we will..."

It's not like this would be the first time they shared a bed. Some of those nights at Welton got cold and those blankets were barely enough to shield one person from the temperature. Besides, it's not like anything was going to happen...

/////

Todd sat comfortably at the head of Neil's bed, the pillows and cushions had been distributed between the two and they had propped them up behind them like makeshift backrests. Their hushed laughter filled the room.

"You're kidding." Neil said, in a playful tone.

Todd shook his head and even though he was still laughing he spoke with complete certainty. "I'm not."

"Allen really misses me?" Neil sounded somewhat surprised. Even though they had adopted the cat together some time ago it still surprised him that their cat could miss him.

"Of course he does."

"Well I guess if he misses me so much then I'll just have to move back in." Although he was being sarcastic, there was a trace of truth in his voice. Maybe he would have to move back in for their cat... And no other reason.

Todd let out a brief chuckle. The apartment was a lot quieter now and it was nearing the early hours of the morning and they had to keep their voices down. "So you'd move back in for the cat but not for me?" He joked but he still managed to sound somewhat offended.

"Oh come on..." Neil paused and took a moment to look up at Todd from across the other side of his bed. "You know I'd do anything for you, Todd."

Todd averted his gaze, he'd rather look anywhere else than look at Neil right now. He could feel his cheeks heat up, maybe he could just blame it on the temperature of the room, maybe Neil wouldn't even notice. Todd wanted to change the subject, he didn't want to talk about Neil being gone anymore, but he just couldn't get it off his mind.

"It's weird not having you around the apartment anymore..."

"It's only been a week." Todd could practically hear the smile on Neil's face, he was always smiling about something or another when they were together.

"Well... It's been a long week."

Now this was silence. Not exactly awkward or even anxious, but something else. Something remained between the two of them.

"Your room’s nice." Todd finally deflected the conversation onto something else, something easy to talk about.

"I-" Neil began. He could read Todd, and if he was going to change a conversation topic it must've been for a good reason. "You think so?"

"It's... Very you."

Neil chuckled. "I kinda figured that it's always been 'very me'. It is still all my stuff after all."

"Right- no- yeah-... You know what I mean." Todd shook his head, he was laughing with Neil now.

"I get what you're saying. It is a little different." Neil glanced around his room as if it had been the first time he's ever seen it. He began mentally nitpicking at the changes he'd made.

"Oh?"

"Well for one," he started, "that huge cat scratching post isn't in here anymore."

"Yeah..." Todd looked around now too, he was picking up on the subtle things that were different about the room that used to be so familiar to him, silently missing the things that Neil had left in his old room.

"It's different without Allen, that's for sure, it's quiet." He chuckled. "And it's different without you constantly being in here-"

"I wasn't constant..."

Neil playfully rolled his eyes at his friend's disagreement. "It sooo was." Todd only responded by shaking his head with a disbelieving look on his face. "You were in my room all the time."

"Well... It'll be good to have this new space, right? And I'll have the apartment to myself." Todd was more talking to himself than talking to Neil, almost like he was trying to convince himself that Neil moving out was going to be good for them.

"I'll miss you being in here so often... It'll be so quiet."

"You're living with Charlie, it's definitely not gonna be quiet." Both boys laughed to themselves. It's like the world outside this room had stopped and they were the only two people in the world.

"Yeah." He continued to laugh. "I guess you're right."

"It might be a good change of pace?"

"Maybe..." Neil only half agreed. "I'll miss the quiet though... I'll miss you."

Their eyes met and Todds heart skipped a beat. "I'll miss you too..."

The room went quiet again. "We should probably get some sleep." He said awkwardly, breaking the tension. Now it was Neil who was deflecting and trying to change the subject. He got off the bed and started haphazardly moving the pillows and adjusting the sheet beneath them, not necessarily doing anything but just trying to make himself look busy.

"Neil...?"

Neil felt his world stop for Todd in that moment.

"Yeah?"

"Did... Did I d-do something wrong?" Todd asked, his voice was quiet, almost like he didn't want Neil to hear him.

"What?"

"To make you want to move out... Did I do something wrong?"

Neil shook his head profusely. "No way. Todd you're the best roommate anyone could ask for."

There was a pause, Todd wasn't sure if he should leave the conversation there or not, but he was curious.

Finally, he asked. "Then what was it?" It was inevitable that Todd would ask Neil this question sooner or later.

Neil sighed, he had to make up something. "I thought it would be better to get out of the apartment, ya know?"

But Todd just looked up at him from the bed, unmoving. It was obvious that Todd didn't believe him.

"I thought it might help me..." Neil took a deep breath as if he was bracing himself. "I didn't want anything to come between us." He said about as much as he could without giving himself away.

Todd shook his head. "What do you mean?"

"It's just..." He sighed. How could he possibly explain this? "It's not a big deal."

"Then why can't you tell me?"

The air was thick and the pauses they took between talking felt like eternities.

"I didn't want anything to change between us, that's all." Now it was Neil who had turned his gaze away from Todd.

"Why would anything change?"

"I kind of..." He took another deep breath, his lungs filled with the cold night air that poured through his half open window. "Had a small... Crush on you while we were living together." He barely even glanced at Todd after he said this, he wished he could read Todd and tell just how he felt.

He had about a million questions for Neil but all he could manage to choke out was-

"W-what?"

"It was just a small crush really, it was barely anything." He stuttered and stumbled over each word, with every sentence he let out he felt like he was letting out more and more that he couldn't take back.

"You... You m-moved out because you had a crush on me?"

"Yeah...." He nodded briefly before turning to Todd.

"But... you only moved out a week ago..."

The brunette nodded. He felt like there was a lump in his throat and a pit in his stomach.

"D-do you still... Feel like... That?"

Neil let out an awkward chuckle. "I guess so, yeah."

"You moved out to get over me?" Todd was still somewhat smiling, like he didn't believe it was true.

"Yeah." He nodded. Neil was a lot calmer now that it was out in the open. He thought this would've gone a lot worse than it did.

Todd let out a sigh of relief, which Neil immediately noticed.

He scanned Todd for any sign of discomfort or anger, though he didn't pick up on any. The only other time he'd felt this anxious was when his father showed up unexpectedly in the audience of a play he was in. But he'd rather not think about that.

"What?" Now that he was at ease he could finally do something besides just stand there and look anxious.

Todd dismissed the question by shaking his head, although he was still smiling. "It's just..." He lowered his voice. "I-I've gotten that advice before."

Neil just gave him a confused look.

"Meeks... He thought I should've m-moved out when I... Told him I liked you."

Neil went speechless, his mind was racing. It all made sense now, thinking back to all the times he even considered that Todd felt the same way about him. It all made sense.

"What?" Neil choked out as his lips formed a smile.

Todd reciprocated his smile. "Just before you moved out..."

The two boys shared a glance and the room seemed to shrink, pulling them closer together.

"Really?"

"...yeah."

"Charlie had his suspicions." Neil joked. He tried keeping the conversation light hearted, he knew that Todd didn't hold up well under stress.

"I thought it was so obvious-" Todd mumbled, he hid his face in his hands.

In hindsight it was incredibly obvious. It was ridiculous that they had no idea that the other had feelings for them until now.

"I... I guess I just never noticed before." Neil sat back down in his original position on the bed. "I thought I was the obvious one." He laughed.

"Really?" Todd's voice came out like a mouse, he peeked at Neil from behind his hands.

"Oh yeah!" He nodded reassuringly. "Remember all the valentines' I made you?"

"Oh my God-" The shorter boy covered his face with his hands again, embarrassed, his face flushed red. "I had no idea."

"Really? No idea?"

Todd silently shook his head in response.

Neil hadn't noticed his cheeks heating up until he saw himself in the mirror. His face was bright red and there was a sweet smile on his face. He never even dreamed that this day would come. Not only was he able to confess to the love of his life, but to hear Todd say in his own words that he reciprocated those feelings, it just meant the world to him. Maybe this was the beginning of something new?

Carpe Diem.

[lythea-creation]

Expectations - Shams x fem reader (Chapter 7)

Chapter 1

Previous Chapter

warnings: mentions of death and emotional abuse

word count: 972

------------------

“Why would you do all that for me?”, I wondered. “It's just like you said. We're basically strangers.”

Her gaze full of sorrow almost made me regret my question.

She searched her bag for something and pulled out a photo. A soft and yet pained smile crossed her face as she looked at it before handing it over to me.

I had never known my mom. Nevertheless it was easy to recognize her on the photo. Another woman about her age was smiling at her while my mom was keen to get a proper picture by smiling at the camera. It looked so natural.

“Your mom was my person. You know, the kind of person you feel connected to so much that you share anything. She was always with me, no matter what. Becoming a mom was her dream.

When she told me she was pregnant we were so excited, could barely contain our joy. It felt like my dream had come true together with hers. Whenever she had a weird feeling about her pregnancy, she was worried or just exhausted she didn't hesitate to call me. I didn't hesitate to help her out. She told me about all her fears and hopes for you.

Nobody expected the pregnancy to go wrong. It seemed safe. But she was always special. In that case it made matters worse for once. I was torn when the doctor told us that she was dead, but you alive. I couldn't decide between joy and sorrow”, she confessed.

“In the beginning I stayed with you and your dad. Despite the pain I loved you immediately and not to brag but you were quite fond of me as well”, she noted with a wink, making me smile slightly.

“Well. After a few weeks the initial shock of your dad had settled down and he started pushing me out of your life. He did it so naturally that I didn't even realize it. Before I knew what was happening I had kinda lost my touch to you. Every time I tried reconnecting he had another excuse. He shut me away, maybe because I was a constant reminder of the loss of his wife. I dunno. But one day I found your social media account”, she revealed.

“I may have teared up when I saw you all grown up, but don't tell anyone okay?”, she whispered, followed by a quiet chuckle.

Honestly she was somehow sweet. I liked her already.

“I was relieved to see how well you were doing. But it was also like proof that you didn't need me and that your dad had been right to push me out of your life. So I was hesitating to reach out to you and instead settled on anonymous comments”, she finished.

“I had no idea”, I proposed.

“That was the whole plan”, she reminded me. “Never mind. I just thought you should have some context.”

Tears came to my eyes before I could stop them. I had never known anything about the life I could have had. After all of this it felt like betraying my mom for even considering she could not have loved me.

“Hey”, Samira uttered softly. “I know this must be a lot to take in. But I'm here if you need anything.”

“It's fine”, I brushed it off, the fake smile appearing without much effort after training it for years.

The sad look in Samira's eyes did not go unnoticed though.

“Okay. So that's basically what I wanted to talk about. If you don't have any more questions I'll give you more time and space to consider my offer”, she announced.

“Actually I ...” My mind was buzzing with so many thoughts that I could barely grasp any of them. But the past few weeks were making my decision easy. “I'd like to take your offer, if that's really alright.”

Suddenly Samira was beaming. “Of course”, she exclaimed. “I'll persuade your dad to handle all of this without raising too much fuss. I think that way he'll accept it. But I'd rather do that when I can take you with me right away. That might take a little while though because I need to deal with the move.”

She sure was bubbly …

“He'll take me out of school then. Can't you talk to him now and I'll just stay with Shams and Omar?”, I suggested.

“I won't be close to take care of you then. What if there's an emergency or your dad's only waiting to make a move after all? I don't want you to be on your own with all of that anymore”, she considered.

“No offense, but I'm kinda used to it after living my whole life like that. And I doubt that my situation will be any better if I stay here”, I remarked.

“She sighed. “You're probably right. How about tagging along with me? I know you'll miss school and won't be able to see your friends for a little while, but it'll be better than staying here, right?”

I hesitated. Now I just realized how serious this was. My life was about to turn upside down. And what if Samira could not accept me the way I was? She did not know anything about me. Did I want to change my current life for another one full of facades?

“It's completely up to you”, Samira assured me.

The heaviness of being able to make my own decisions was wearing me down. I was not used to that kind of freedom and was not sure if I like it or not. But I had left my comfort zone weeks ago. There was no turning back now.

“I'll go with you.”

-------------------

Next Chapter

No Shams in this chapter, but there will be more of the sibling duo in the future!

Tag List: @sunwoniie

[itsmeclevvv]

Surviving relationship with the help of God

hanara: Hey, can we talk? I'm feeling really down about our relationship lately. cleo: Sure, what's up? hanara: I just feel like we've been drifting apart. We don't spend as much time together as we used to, and when we do, it feels forced. cleo: I know what you mean. I've been feeling the same way. I think we both need to make more effort to connect. hanara: I agree. But it's hard when we're both so busy with work and other commitments. cleo: I know. But we need to prioritize our relationship. Let's try to schedule some quality time together every week. hanara: That's a good idea. Maybe we could go on a date or just do something fun together. cleo: Yeah, that sounds great. I miss spending time with you. hanara:I miss you too. I'm worried that we're going to drift further apart if we don't do something about it. cleo: Don't worry, we'll figure it out. We've been through a lot together, and we can get through this too. hanara: I hope so. I love you, you know. cleo: I love you too. hanara: I think we should talk to God about this. Maybe He can help us see things from a different perspective. cleo: That's a good idea. Let's pray together. hanara: Dear God, please help us to reconnect and strengthen our relationship. We love each other very much, and we want to make our relationship work. Please guide us and give us the strength to overcome any challenges we may face. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen. cleo: Amen. I feel better already. hanara: Me too. I think talking about it and praying together has helped a lot. cleo: I'm glad we were able to talk openly about how we're feeling. I think this is a good start. hanara: I agree. Let's make a commitment to spend more time together and to communicate openly with each other. cleo: I'm in. Let's do this.

[chlorinecake]

Omg I just realized I never updated u on the hangout things 😭. Like ong I don’t think he likes me but idk cus we sit next to each other in class and we don’t talk like I try but it’s very awkward and shit and Like I do try to text him cus im more comfortable online and I remember I went to school early and he missed school the day b4 so I messaged him like “hey r u going to be at school 2day” cus yk like I kinda wanted to talk to him and cus I was also in the library where he usually is but uhm he ignored me and in class I saw him on IG but he was in purpose not looking at my text 😭. But oh well and then I ignored it for a few days and was like “oh he’s sick so maybe he’s just tired” and so I left it alone and like yesterday I asked him for Twice song recs cus I saw he liked them. And now im in a spot where tdy I bought him a CD to get closer to him and also to be like “Hey thanks for keeping up with my awkwardness” cus my awkwardness makes me rly shy and self conscious abt me talking but I felt brave to talk to this dude and Im kinda feeling self conscious again cus like I do want to talk to him and like he ignores me. Also I do want to talk to him when I immediately get into class but he always has his headphones in and I don’t want to disturb him and when he does take them out my teacher alr started teaching and we can’t talk and we barely do when we do hwk and it’s only to ask each other questions and I feel a bit judged. Like I remember one time when we got back a test, he looked over at my score and I think I got like 1 mark more than him and he was like “Oh u did better than me” in a very sad kinda judgy tone yk that one. And I was like “haha yea but it’s ok at least yk test aren’t worth much in this class”

sorry for the long thing Im just confused abt the situation 😭 and I kinda feel like a clown 🤡 cus I see him talk to this other girl in class smts and idk maybe they just bonded over them both being from the philippines. Idk like I don’t invite him to sit with me at lunch cus hon it’s awkward and also I feel him and my friend I sit with won’t get along and our humour is interesting and j feel he would be more uncomfortable and more awkward yk. But hon I feel bad cus I think he just sits with his brother in the library and like idk I feel bad for him cus like honestly I feel he doesn’t have many friends and this is the only class he rly talks from my observation and maybe i’m wrong cus he is a new student but it’s also almost done with them semester so like 5 months. Idk maybe i’ll talk to him more and ask him more questions and ig try to reschedule the hang out or idk maybe j should let go cus we ain’t vibing but also we have another class tgt next sem which makes it even weirder cus ong I have no one else ik abt but him 😭.

Ok so like, I’d never wanna encourage someone to pursue a one sided connection, bc that’s honestly what this is giving. He’s obviously making no efforts here, and I wish you didn’t spend your money on him already 😭 but like… I knew a guy for a year before he started giving back what I gave him, and now we’re super close, so it might work out for you in time, but it seems to me like for now, his mind is on other things than friendship. You can schedule another date with him if you like, but usually, I’d opt for returning the “silent treatment” until they start missing you 🤷‍♀️ it’s a bit manipulative but it works like a charm every time :>

Bc then even the part with him being sulky over the test like bro, you’ve got issues 😭 And not responding to your texts ? Yeah, drop him for a lil bit. Seek friendships in other people, put effort into those you will reciprocate your affection, bc chasing homeboy is just… it’s not it. Once he sees you living your life outside of him (genuinely ofc, not just for the sole purpose of getting his attention), he’ll get his head out of his phone more often. And if he doesn’t, oh well, you didn’t lose anything 🤷‍♀️ Personally, you seem like a really cool person and someone nice to talk to, and he obviously doesn’t appreciate that

[quohotos]

Halo 4's story was very touching in my opinion, so it was a total slap in the face to just say "Psych, she un-died through the domain and now she's EVIL". It made me really resent halo 5 for a long time. It was only on several subsequent replays that I think I finally saw what they were going for. From her point of view, she gave up everything to stop this war. By the time they were found she was already dying of rampancy, she didn't have time to process what state the galaxy was in. With access to unfathomable power and the ability to look at what there was she got to see how little had changed. Humanity was out there starting shit, ONI funded the storm to destabilize Sanghelios, ultimately leading to the faction that released the didactic and used the composer on earth (lots of real life parallels to American recent history).

Everything she and John did was to give the Galaxy peace, but they didn't want it. What's more, she was given eternal life whereas every other AI was just being used up. They're fully intelligent, emotional beings and they're treated like military hardware. She had the power to help them, and the power to stop the wars through the guardians. In her mind, she legitimately thought she was doing the right thing. It didn't matter how much destruction that she caused, if she sat back and did nothing there'd just be another war so what was the point?

You can see Roland grapple with this at the end of Halo 5, put in the awkward situation of being basically the last AI left loyal to the organic side. I don't remember the exact quote, but he basically was like "What should she have done? Just died?" showing how much the humans don't see the AI as people.

Also, in the past in Halo the main villains have always been these unreasonable, insane religious zelot aliens that we have no connection to. It would have been an interesting change to have a villain that we (the player, and Master Chief) have a personal connection to, someone we have to mourn after we win, someone who will make it more difficult than "HA GET PUNCHED IN THE THROAT YOU WEIRD-HAT-WEARING FUCK!"

So as much as I thought Halo 5 missed the mark, I thought it set the story up for an interesting trajectory. We can have an epic battle against the created, have all the other organics have to come together and put aside their differences in a last ditch effort to defeat Cortana... and hey if I'm really dreaming here maybe even we can get a systemic solution to the problem that motivated her to go full villain in the first place.

...So imagine my disappointment when Halo infinite throws that all away and hot swaps Cortana with the guy from Halo wars, and then hot swaps him with his little cousin.

I think that in a vacuum, halo infinite is great. It has great character writing, great atmosphere, great vibes, great score. There are so many good moments in infinite and it really does stick the landing... but I will always have a chip on my shoulder for it throwing away what would have been a really cool setup and basically skipping past the war of the created. Like, Halo 4 and 5 really stumbled, but at least it was going somewhere cool.

Halo 5's story was conceptually cool but didn't have it in the moments, Halo Infinite's had great moments but was conceptually pretty boring and played safe. I don't think there's an objectively right answer for which approach is better.

That last goodbye from Cortana still makes me cry though. I miss her.

Anyway I guess I feel like flipping the lid off this jar of ancient bitterness, so:

I still resent the decision to kill off Cortana, and I can tell you about how I felt when they did it if you want to know.

(Under a readmore in case you're not in the mood for it.)

At the time, it bothered me because I used to know things about Marathon (there was a point in time where I had read all the terminals, I can't remember them now) and it was really obvious how much Bungie was borrowing from their older IP when setting up things about AI in Halo. There were hints in Halo lore pointing toward the potential for a rampant AI to achieve metastability (which is what happened for Durandal) based on those older ideas.

Cortana's death felt like a slap in the face because it swerved from what seemed like it was already there.

The other thing I hated about it is that it felt like killing off a beloved female character purely for the sake of making the Master Chief ~sad.~ This bothered me as a fan of both characters, of Cortana for obvious reasons and for the Chief because it felt... cheap?

Like really, you can't think of a more interesting way to explore loss with this dude who has already lost so much than by killing the female character that most of the fanbase thinks is his romantic interest? It's 2012, I thought we were done with male protagonists being motivated by the deaths of women??

I gradually worked up to making my peace with Halo 4 and going "well, I guess at least I can play with the sad unfairness of it" and that at least her death felt like it had meaning, but then Halo 5 came out and brought Cortana back as a villain in the most hackneyed boring AI computer woman way possible and I fucking gave up.

I accept that Cortana is dead and at this point I can't envision where Halo would be or what it would look like if they hadn't killed her, and if I am going to play in the current sandbox with the current toys I have to accept this part of the lore. I've dealt with it, it's fine.

But whenever I re-evaluate Halo 4, I think back about this.

[dragonmuse]

Hello! I’ve just been rereading the very first story in the series, and when Eddy’s been around for just about a week, Lucius says something to Stede along the lines of “You told me you were going to try being slutty!” That, coupled with the “he was dropped on his head as an adult” snipe, paint such a great picture of Stede and Lucius’ early friendship!! (Didn’t Lucius and Jim have to whisper and plan about Eddy’s reputation and business?) Do you have any extras or thoughts on those conversations or era ?

(Been holding onto this one for absolute ages and since I was enjoying some Lucius and Jim earlier this week, here's their friendship just really starting out)

For the first year that Lucius worked at the Revenge, Jim was one of the few people that he didn’t connect with. They were disinterested in flirtation, turned down offers of portraits when other options failed and generally exuded a low-level menace that Lucius usually would push through, but couldn’t find a chink in.

He knew, in theory, that they had some kind of sticky feelings underneath their shell. Anyone that spent that much time with Oluwande had to, especially if it was a romantic time. So mostly he admired them from afar and concentrated his efforts on the more interested.

Then Eddy had shown up.

Lucius had laid out his concerns in the dressing room and been mostly met with gentle dismissal.

Jim hadn’t laughed. Jim hadn’t smiled. Jim met his eyes in acknowledgement. In the span of seconds, they became a team. A week later, Jim rocked up to the bar, asked for their usual pre-show shot, down it then said,

“They haven’t left his place.”

“Could be a con,” Lucius muttered. “You got eyes on the money?”

“Some.”

“Keep it there.”

They did that for weeks, updating and checking in. Gradually Jim said other things. Mentioned a day trip with Oluwande or something they’d watched. When Lucius asked questions, they answered, perfunctory, but acknowledging. When he offered things in returned, he noticed how intently they listened, even if they didn’t always respond.

“Hey,” Lucius whispered one day. “You want to help get rid of a douchebag customer?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

“Okay, here’s the play. This guy comes in and orders a sloe gin fizz every Thursday, but he always has a dick comment when he does. He’s worse to the Swede, but I get them too. I’ve tried volleying back, but then he thinks it’s funny. Tried giving him nothing, doesn’t give up. So I’m thinking you can come behind the bar this time. I’ll make the drink, but you give it to him.”

“And?” Jim eyed him curiously.

“And then you let the spirit move you to what you think is best.”

“That’s your plan?”

“You are the plan. Have fun! Get creative!”

“All right then,” Jim’s smile was slow and edged. “I like it.”

The guy came in and Lucius signalled Jim, who was waiting when the guy came up to order.

“Who are you supposed to be?” The guy wrinkled his nose. “Shitty cowboy costume?”

“What do you want?” Jim stared him down.

“What kind of customer service voice is that? C’mon, gimme a smile and I’ll tell you.”

Lucius knew he was pulling quite the face, but luckily he had his back to the scene.

“No.”

“No?” The guy laughed. “I’m a regular customer here, sweetheart. Very respected.”

“You?” Jim’s voice dripped with disdain.

“Yeah, ask anyone!”

“Swede?” Jim barked. “You know this guy?”

And bless him, as if he’d been read into the scene, the Swede looked at the man with wide-eyed bewilderment.

“No? Maybe? Must I? Should I? Hold on! I’ll think of it….Alice!”

“Alice?” The guy growled.

“Allison? Last name?” The Swede tried again. “I’m so bad with names, I’m so sorry!”

“You’re fine,” Jim assured him and turned back to the guy. “Okay, so. You were saying?”

“I was saying,” the guy was getting annoyed now, shoulders tight. “That you should be treating customers with some respect!”

“Why?” Jim asked blankly.

“Because! That’s your job!”

“No,” Jim repeated.

“You’re in the service industry, you’re here to make customers feel good. It’s the most basic tenant of the job!”

“Oh. You’re confused,” Jim nodded.

“I am not!”

“Yes. You are,” Jim said gravely. “You think we care how you feel. We do not. You think we care if you come back. We do not.”

“I’ll leave a Yelp review that’ll get you shut down!”

“We have a four and a half star rating with about like… a hundred and fifty reviews?” Lucius couldn’t help, but jump in. “And the health inspector was here last week. Perfect grades.”

“I will make you regret this!” The guy seethed.

Jim leaned forward, their hand going casually into their pocket. Just enough to reveal a line of steel. The guy clearly did not come to Friday shows because the sight startled him.

“Please try.” Jim grinned, wide and toothy.

“You’re crazy! You’re all fucking crazy!” The guy backpedaled out. “You’ll never see my money or any of my friends money in here again!”

“Think he’s got friends?” Jim asked doubtfully as the guy almost knocked someone else over on his way out the door.

“None that I want to meet,” Lucius snorted. “You’re damn good at that, by the way.”

“It was fun. Let’s do it again sometime.”

They would do it often enough that Jim didn’t even have to flash steel at the end, a polished double act that scared people off without drawing the wrong kind of attention. By the time they’d both decided Eddy wasn’t a threat, they had settled into just straight up gossiping about them and Stede and the others. Not the usual scuttlebutt type secrets that Lucius would giggle over with Frenchie or the more salacious stories he’d share with Roach. Jim just liked to be in the know about people’s movements, something they had very deeply in common.

Their whisper network oversaw a lot of comings and goings over the years. No one suspected Jim of being one of the biggest information wells, but they were quiet and they listened and once they started working with Izzy, they got very good at research. Lucius always knew who to ask if he was missing a critical piece.

Together they kept the collective psyche of the Revenge as safe as they knew how.

[floral-poisons]

Can I have a scenario of a fem MC studying with riddle but they feel frustrated and dumb for not getting the work?

hey anon!! of course you may!! this is something we all struggle with probably and i get it. it's super hard. but you got this and riddle believes in all of you!! 🌹

i've, again, changed this prompt to fit a gender neutral reader. i don't think riddle would react any differently to a non-fem! mc.

school wasn’t everyone’s specialty. some people worked better in a rigid environment (see riddle). school was definitely not your specialty nor was it for you.

you weren’t a big fan of studying or of learning in general. you preferred things to be more hands on.

the thing is, school was useful. and you were beginning to fall behind. in about every subject.

a lot of the tutors assigned to you gave up, leaving you frustrated.

the worst part was that you just couldn’t understand the material.

it wasn’t hard or easy. it was just confusing and you didn’t like it. you didn’t like how confusing it was and no matter how hard you sat and tried to understand it, you couldn’t.

so you did probably the worst possible thing: enlisted the help from the prefect of heartslabyul.

“(y/n), are you sure you want to do this?” trey asks. “you know how riddle is. you can back out now. there’s no shame. i could even tutor you.”

“no...it has to be riddle. he’s the only one that can probably whip me into shape.” you take a deep breath. part of you was worried though.

“alright.” trey opened the door. “riddle, (y/n)’s here to see you.”

“good good.” riddle turns around in his seat. it was kind of funny considering how short he was and how tall the chair was. “come sit down and let’s get started.”

you were surprised with how...laxed riddle was.

or maybe it was because his overblot had taught him it was okay to relax once in a while and let things slide.

you could see him getting a bit frustrated at times as he kept explaining to you the concepts. you kept zoning out. but he kept his temper and continued to get you to constantly participate until you had the whole concept down.

his method worked! it just involved stringing individual information before connecting the dots with them.

“(y/n), stop zoning out.” riddle taps his pen against the paper. “you’re almost done.”

“i’m sorry riddle. i’m just...tired. and frustrated. we’ve been at it for the last...uhhh...”

“three hours.” riddle checks his watch. “maybe it’s time for a break.”

“maybe i should give up on school.”

riddle scoffs. “if you were in heartslabyul i would’ve kicked you out by now.”

“hey! that’s not fair!” you whine.

“what’s not fair is you giving up after you’ve made clear progress.” riddle points to your notes. “look at what you’ve accomplished so far! and you want to give up now? my mother is...strict to put it lightly. but i agree with her on one thing: if you start something you have to finish it. either fail doing it or succeed. if you stop something after starting it, you’re going to end up with a sense of guilt for not finishing it. do you want to flunk out of classes? if you flunk out, the headmage will have no choice but to expel you and then you’ll be left without anywhere to go.”

you felt the blood leave your face. “you can’t be serious.”

“did you zone out when the headmage talked to you when you got here? no magic, no identification other than your name, a rowdy beast that’s combined with you to make one student? as far as i know, grim isn’t smart. and you two have to make it as one student if you’re going to survive. school may not be for everyone but you should at least finish what you started. as in your assignment and notes. not school.” riddle looked at the clock. “alright let us take a break.”

you sigh. “your speeches suck. you need to work on your people skills.”

“i know. but i get my work done. and you have too.”

“it’s so much easier for you. you’re literally a magical genius!”

“i’m a genius through effort.” riddle sighs. “don’t discount all the work i just did. and if ace can pass without using ashengrotto’s answer key then you can too.”

[mhynvxii]

Ok im desperate for a scenario where kise and aomine are in love with a girl who’s way smarter than them so they feel like they’ve got to study more (with her supervision ofc) to get on her level. But she doesn’t really care she just wants someone who will make her laugh. Super specific but honestly I’m just as desperate as you are for new content so I can’t even be embarrassed 😂😅😭.

A/N : Hey ! You’re welcome, in fact I do like better specific ideas ! First request !! Let’s go !! I’m so excited ! (≖͠ ͜ʖ≖)👌

Kise and Aomine falling in love with a smart and cool fem!s/o.

AOMINE DAIKI —

For him to fall in love with one of the smartest person of his class was very unlikely : Smart students were always knowns to be hard workers and very serious persons when here is with his super lazy ass, sleeping all day and thinking about maybe everything but school. He would never frequent one by their intrinsic incompatibility because they would be getting on each other nerves.

But recently he had been proven wrong, there was that girl in his class, very pretty, very lovely he had been crushing on : you.

He didn’t know you were a top student at first, having a sit near the back of the class not far from him. You would sometimes chat with a classmate just behind and he would overhears some interesting things when he was probably half asleep. Topics were for the least original and kind of funny and you would have that smile on your face, that playful look and naturally charming aura. If he was more of a friendly person he wouldn’t have hesitated befriending you but he wasn’t and here you were only sharing that classmate connection. Then he found out, when every time you would receive your grade of the previous test, your friends and others smarts head of the class would gather around and congratulate you .

« I can’t believe it, this genius talent at this point. It was a surprise test..!»

How to say he was slightly embarrassed at this moment ? He had fallen hard for a nerd for some reason he can’t understand and even if it was like during half a second he thought that you wouldn’t be dumb enough to even be thinking about going out with him : the guy already failing class even tough y’all are freshman. People like you were worried about their future, organizing everything so nothing could escape their control and all that reassurance and intellectual sucess guarantee he was unable to provide.

Thankfully, Aomine was bold and didn’t give it second thoughts : ok you’re way smarter than him but he could try to be good enough to reach a decent level right ? If he reach a decent intelligence level and grades for someone like you, you won’t perceive him like a complete jock and in best case scenario you would even be impressed by him ?

Ok best case scenario can be forgotten.

But from this realization that someone as smart as you would except their partner to meet certain standards, Aomine started to work on his grades and education. Very slowly cause school really wasn’t something he enjoyed and it was hard to gather motivation but he did makes somes efforts in the name of his pride with the help of Momoi and his Toou teammates. Ok he had to cheat once in a while and Momoi and Sakurai have done most of his homeworks… but now he wasn’t the worst student anymore and he could try to compare his test with yours like many people do to get to know how he should improve. Aomine was new with this kind of stuff so he didn’t even knew how to take exemple on your work to improve his test he just did know watching them that your work was inherently better than his and from far but how was he supposed to do like you ? Complete mystery.

« …I don’t get it. You’re telling me that is what the teacher is excepting me to do ? »

«  Yeah… ? I mean from the grade I got probably. » you said surprised by his new behavior.

« … Better dig my grave from now I guess, I don’t have the brain for that, maybe… you would help me with this stuff please ? »

He didn’t believe how he almost stuttered asking this simple question but Aomine didn’t care, all his attention on you even if he was pretending to be nonchalant.

« Sure i can ! But what is your objective… I thought great basketball players like you just had to pass ? This grade you got is good enough..»

That smile of yours goes directly on his soft spot, making him melt on the moment : why was he so down bad ? It was so disturbing that he gave him an headache.

«  I just want to see if I am capable to compete with someone like you on a scholar field, that’s all. I got bored of playing dumb and doing nothing meanwhile somes gets all the fame.»

«  Oh, I see badmouthing my scholar success,hm ? I like the agressive approach but mister there is some few things I must tell you : One, Why would I help you as my rival ? Two, I believe there is a misunderstanding : You may believe that I am a know-it-all always having her nose in a book but like you I do not really am enamored with school you see, soo…. »

«  You do not need keep this facade with me miss top student, i know you’re trembling at the idea of missing a day of school you can be honest with me you know, just between us. »

You can’t help but hold your stomach hearing him say that, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut because of the laugh he was giving you. You didn’t thought he was partially serious when saying that.

«  Come on..! You know what, I will help you just because you’re saying all this stuff about me and you’ll see I am very chill and not that… school obsessed freak you imagine ? »

« Bet. »

And from this day you started tutoring Aomine and got to know him better. You became what you can call great friends, getting to know Momoi and the basketball club members but aside from this new friendship, Aomine for some reasons always tried to impress you by the positive evolution of his grades. Sometimes he was blablantly bragging what is really a signature behavior of his but also « subtly » from his standard, he would let glimpse little infos about his scores or ask for unnecessary supervision as if he has something to prove you but it only pushed you to avoid scholarship topics with him what didn’t make him feel good.

From Aomine perspective it meant that despite his effort you wouldn’t see him as a potential partner as his intellect wasn’t enough for you to share conversations of this type with him. He was damned to be that chaotic and dumb friend what is really embarrassing as he really tried to correct himself. Yes he did cheat during tests, asked Momoi to do his homework for him and all but he really tried to absorb more cultural knowledge and all to keep up with you even if it didn’t pleases him and that the stuff he learned was boring. What a fool, really. All of that ruckus to learn that it has never been necessary.

«  If there is one school freak it’s definitely you Aomine, I can’t believe you had the audacity to call me this in the past… Why are you so focused on your scores ? You don’t want to do long upper studdies and this is not funny competing with you like this.»

He has been avoiding you all day just to hide his bad score in history class.

« What does it take to impress someone like you ? I am trying for shit know how long time just for all of this not working ? »

«  Why would you impress me in the first place ? And it only takes somes candies to get me on your good side you know? I thought it was like an obvious weakness of mine.. what’s wrong ? »

You were always making jokes, always trying to have a good time what he did really loved about you making him fell harder for but he somehow never thought that like him you would rather date a funny person than the smart one.

«…Ugh this embarrassing to say but… do I care at this point ? I have no clue and it’s been a while now… I am in love with you dumb ass and I’ve been trying to impress you by being the intelligent guy a girl like you would want… but turn out I was too dumb to even realize it wasn’t your taste.»

« …I confirm you’re a complete dummy.»

To the point of even failing to realize you did have feelings for him as well and that his kind is totally your type.

« I know thanks. »

«  And despite the lack of romanticism of this situation let me say something … I don’t care about school, I don’t care about being perfect, I just want to share a good time with the ones I loves what does includes you so please never again… try to be someone else. »

Laying on the floor of the rooftop, Aomine did stand up immediately after hearing you say the magical words.

« I love you. »

And he couldn’t help himself but smile and laugh sarcasticly at his own stupidity. He was mad at himself yes, but satisfied by your response all his negative feelings vanished and he got closer to you, intertwining his fingers with yours as his nose caress your skin.

«  I hate you. »

KISE RYOUTA —

He always knew about you being one of the smartest student of his class, this is in fact what exactly distinguished you of others and made him memorizing your name. Because you were very intelligent he admired how unlike him you do not have to worry about failing class and how you would always have an interesting perspective and responses to professors. Honestly he was even jealous, because his perfect copy can’t allow him to assimilate intellectual knowledge if not passing trough the phase of a physical movement but he was satisfied with the plenty of talents he already had… or at least until now.

He observed you, trying to take example but during his observation stage he couldn’t help but appreciate the beauty of your face. He failed to follow your methods being absorbed by the way your body would express everything you feel yet your sharp eye would analyze your surroundings, making you mysterious. He fell for that malicious smile you would have every time you would be making a sarcastic comments and your voice so endearing, so agreable to hear everytime it could be heard, not missing to make him shiver. The way you speak when you would be chatting or answering a question so magneficient even made you look somehow intimidating to him… He had the chance to find a beautiful rose in his class.

You seduced him so badly by doing barely nothing that he’s now convinced the type of girl you are has always been his first go to. So embarrassing.

He did not knew you well but Kise assumed that such a charming person like you would have high criteria when it would come about a potential boyfriend, as you should. Making him thinking twice before approaching you : He needed to get better grades and more to him than his popularity and social status. Someone so knowledgeable wouldn’t care for all of that and would only appreciate the company of someone able to keep up with them so in order to fit this ideal he needed to be educated.

But how ? Maybe… He could try to hit two rocks with one by asking you to tutor him. It was well known that he wasn’t a very brilliant student so he didn’t had time to be ashamed of it and he even did use this in fact to get your special tutoring as an excuse. His case being so desesperate he said dramatically that only the best could possibly help him, so you.

The blond didn’t try to use his pretty face for you to fall for him despite it being an argument quite useful usually but his flirty nature couldn’t be hidden, his natural revealing himself from time to time, thankfully you wouldn’t even mind it. Even enjoying it even if he wasn’t after his own thoughts worthy of pretending your heart yet.

You would be joking with him, having together that unique chemistry pushing him to rethink about a lot of things he assumed about you at first. You managed to appear more perfect in his eyes but now in a more realistic way, seeing clearly your flaws and qualities, that true funny self of yours sold his heart to you forever.

And man, it was so dangerous knowingly he was already so in love with you, so down bad he dreamt of him and you going trough all yours firsts : kiss, date, anniversary and more… You two getting married and encountering each other’s families… Ok maybe he was already too far in his imagination but he wasn’t capable to restrain these crazy feelings messing up his sleep schedule, basketball trainings and whole body system.

He had to try his shot, even if it may seem he was being impatient right now his plan not even being near to be accomplished but how could he hold longer not even being sure you were into serious guy..? He can’t keep going like this if he has like no chance of seducing you.

He bites his lower lips a brief moment and rise his chin up, his eyes looking frankly in yours.

« Y/n i know it’s a question coming from nowhere when we’re having this little study session but… What is the type of guy you would be interested in ? »

You barely kept your composure, making the pen you had fun playing with fall. Why would he be asking you that seriously, so honestly, so direct..

«  Uh… Yeah very sudden… perhaps this chemistry equation inspired you ?… But if you really ask, I believe being funny is a must. I don’t care really about others things till he makes me happy. »

His eyes showing obvious shock, Kise was surprised by your response, really the bar was that low ??!

«… Like you’re telling me you won’t mind if this guy is a complete idiot ? »

«  Why would I ? Intelligence doesn’t make someone interesting and there is many ways of expressing intelligence. »

You started ranting about what did you found interesting in a person, having thought about it a lot recently. In your thoughts, you were saying all you were thinking was pertinent to the subject with no filter even things who should be kept for yourself by accident.

«… Plus you’re someone I really like talking with and there isn’t a day i’m bored with you, till I am happy… I really can’t imagine there is better standards. »

Did you just set yourself up right now ? Like horrendously ? Confusion took all over Kise facial expressions while you started to make yourself very little.

«… Y/n-cchi why did you said you..?? Do you mean you like… ME ?! »

« …I really said you..? »

«  YEAH YOU SAID YOU ?! SO ME ? »

You can’t helps but put your palm on your face, upset with that stupidity and clumsyness of yours.

«  Ugh… Ok so I know it’s ridiculous but it has been a moment I got this crush on you.. »

«  Wait, wait ! So I am your type ??? I love you and you love me ???! »

«  YOU LOVE ME ??! »

You almost jumped of your seat.

«  YEAH LIKE FROM THE START I HAD THAT HUGE CRUSH ON YOU !! »

«  NO SWEAR IT, YOU’RE TELLING ME THIS RIGHT NOW ? »

Is it a comedy ? Kise brain was doing backflips and sweats started to roll down his spine.

«  COM’ON I THOUGHT IT WAS OBVIOUS ! I’VE BEEN TRYING TO LOOK SMART SINCE A MOMENT NOW ITS RIDICULOUS JUST TO CATCH YOUR INTEREST !»

«  NO WAY… YOU’RE LYIN’!! »

You barely did remember to breath for a moment, gripping your shirt at the place your heart beats so strongly that it’s echoing in all your being. You feel every inches of your skin warming up, your blood circulating quicker. You can’t turn your eyes off him as well that he’s staring at you, shocked.

Both of you thinking you weren’t playing in each other’s leagues.

Kise cheeks were completely red and flustered he was playing with his hair.

«  I’m sorry this declaration was completely unromantic… I never excepted this to happen but now that it’s clear I am your type… »

You recognized that bright smile.

«  What do you think about dating the guy of your dream ? »

You can’t help but let out a chuckle, his pick up line being… atrocious and cliché. Stress probably messing up with his senses.

« Hahaha… Seriously, I mean I love you Y/n-cchi, please marry- Eh !!??! I said… Please let me take you on a date ! »

« Maybe in fact I do really like my mens dumb… »

Satisfaction took all over you when you saw Kise adorable pout.

« Just kiss me already dummy. » you said tiring his tie so he gets closer.

The blonde not even thinking twice smile again, butterflies flying aggressively in his stomach.

«  So it’s a yes ? »

And dispose delicately his lips on yours, closing his eyes to enjoy this instant, he can’t restrain that smile of his during this kiss at the beginning but gain in seriousness with time and passionately after few languorous seconds introduce his tongue to your mouth.

You love him too.

[founderscouncil]

He succeeds in getting a laugh out of @hellgiven and he takes that as a win. No one in Mystic Falls actually thinks that of him, at least not to his knowledge, but there's always been a part of him to wonder whether he should have tried for something more, beyond the town's borders. But every time he thinks of trying, someone new rolls into town and threatens his friends so it hasn't really been at the top of his priorities either. "Trust me, there was a lot of freaking out when things first started happening," he chuckled ruefully. At first, it was maddening, being tugged around like a rope in a game of supernatural tug of war, having his mind and memories messed with without his knowledge, but he understands, or tries to at least, that his friends were just trying to protect him.

Out of them all, he's the only one without some sort of ancestral tie to Mystic Falls. His family had been in town for a couple generations, but nothing like the Lockwoods or the Forbes or the Gilberts. For a brief period in his life, Matt thought that might be his ticket to be able to get away from the supernatural world, but he's learned that he doesn't need some deep connection to his hometown to care about its people. So he carries a magazine of wooden bullets and drinks vervain in his coffee and chats up pretty witches on his days off. His eyebrows do raise at the mention of 'coven of psychos' but Matt thinks maybe that's a question for when they've gotten to know each other a little better. "Hey, I won't argue with you there. I'm still a guy, even if I've tried to grow out of my meathead jock ways a little. Most guys don't even make that effort."

𖤐 ⸻  SHE EXPECTED HIM TO BE COMPLICATED . mostly because of the amount of vampires that he'd been around . and yet , he seemed so level-headed . and open minded .  it was impressive to the little witch . and while she normally remained to herself , she couldn't help but want to be around him . he was interesting to her. davina remained by his side as everyone prepared for the press conference. though , she made sure not to get into his way .   

a small laugh fell from her lips as she watched him set the speaker down near the edge of the stage . " just . . . despite everything , you seem so calm . " the witch replied . " it's admirable . " in most ways , she was thankful it was just the two of them. mostly because she was given the chance to get to know him more. the first guy in ages it seemed that actually made her feel normal . and not a freak considering she was a witch . " oh no , not that . i don't . . . know much about any that really . " davina replied . " i was sort of home-schooled so i never was apart of any cliques. unless you count a coven of psychos ." she stepped closer . " i'll be honest , most guys . . are assholes. but you're not that way , thankfully . "

[sugar-petals]

#Scream For Me (m)

↳ PAIRING. sub!hyunjin x domme!reader

↳ SUMMARY. It’s his first time. You’re in charge. He lets loose. 

↳ WORDS. 3k

warnings ⚠️ spit play, fingering, blindfolds, ribbon bondage, handjobs, casual domination, oral (f receives), slow dick riding, as you can tell by the title he’s very loud, sloppy sex, choking, aftercare

♡ NOTE ➝ surprise surprise, writing for stray kids today! vocal hyunjin is domme candy👌

“I’ll be very gentle,” you hook two fingers down the hem of his jeans. Hyunjin quickly nods: Both your attention lies on just how much his pants are bulging out already. As long as you stay focussed, surely this will be a calm first time for him— Well, we’ll see about that. In fact, if you already knew what is slumbering inside of him? You’d get fucking ready.

“Can I please touch you as well?”

He’s fumbling at your thighs, your dress, and you can feel his nervousness in the fingertips already.

“You can. But first— Mommy unwraps her present. You know how it goes.“

And it’s a big present, I’m telling you. So big, you have a hard time smoothly unzipping him in one go. And since his hips won’t hold still — God is he sensitive to touching, but hey, what’s not to like — undressing him takes some real maneuvering. It’s not easy to whip a 300 feet yacht out of some average harbor. 

“Do you like it?” 

“Uh-huh. Something I can work with right there.”

A bit of lube distributed in both hands, a deep breath, now you’re good to go. You give it a few pumps to accommodate Hyunjin to your touch. As expected: He’s not very stoic about it. Even though he’s fully reclined on your bed, and it couldn’t be any cozier, he bucks up.

“Ah!“

“Don’t worry. Just teasin’. Here,” you give him access to your dress by lifting it past your hip. His left hand finds its way past your underwear pretty fast. Guess who’s relieved by a distraction from his spike in arousal. Now that you think about it, he might like some casual handjobs in the daytime or while driving. During cuddles, maybe. 

How not to touch him all day. He’s all big and girthy, he reacts well. Your fingers fits perfectly around him, too. Hyunjin’s nice as fuck to hold and stroke. Not to mention lightning fast when it comes to reciprocating. He’s shy about a lot of things, and that’s because of having few experience, but not about being mutual. Green flag.

“So wet...”

“Just for you. Go ahead, take a dip.“

Hyunjin definitely looks like he’s having the time of his life just fingering you. Freestyle, no rules, no strategies. He delights in just pleasing you at every angle. Fuck, his hands are so nice. At one point, you resort to ripping off your panties altogether. Easier access. He gets even harder in your palm.

“Is that good?”

“That’s good, babe. Keep on circling.”

Those lips probably make for an even more unruly type of stimulation between your legs. If they’re only half as lawless, Jesus you’ll be spiralling already. They’re so nice and plump. Big cock, big lips, is there some sort of correlation? Anyway. Hyunjin feels like the type to eat pussy obsessively, so. But you think you have to be careful introducing him to it. Knowing him, he’d straight up suffocate himself on first try. Hwang Hyunjin, death by pussy.

“Can I try it with my lips as well, please?“

Fate has its way of doing things, huh. And he knows you’ve been looking at his lips, doesn’t he.

“I’ll only let you kiss and suck until I count to thirty. Wait, let me get on my back.”

“Okay!”

Switching spots lets you feel the warmth where Hyunjin just led his back. He doesn’t waste much time. One blink and he props up his lips at your entrance, waiting for instructions. Well shit.

“Keep it shallow,” you get a fistful of his hair. “Kiss, kiss. Like that. Move it just an inch upward. Don’t touch your cock, I still wanna ride it later. Lay flat on the bed. Put your hands around my thighs. 29, 28...“

At that prospect, he becomes even more obedient. His tongue doesn’t do a bad job at all. Oh wonder, he breathes just fine. First time eating you out: You get the impression that this guy has some serious talent there.

“Tastes really good. It’s all bubbly,“ Hyunjin smiles bright from ear to ear. You’ve just stopped counting by now.

“Ugh, fuck it. Just eat, eat.”

That goes on for almost five minutes, in fact. He licks and services you perfectly. That his lips feel ten times more sensual than they already look has your breath going much shorter and your grip in his hair much tighter. So much about making assumptions. And it makes sense, not having his cock stimulated has Hyunjin cooling down a little. Suspiciously so. 

When you were stroking him off, he’d go wild right along. Conclusion: Handjobs and Hyunjin are like pressing a red button. Eating pussy: Chill area. Noted. Complete slobbery wetness: Also noted. You wonder what that’s good for.

“Hyunjin, should we go for it now? I want you inside me. You’ll slip right in so nicely. I’ll take good care of you, you don’t have to be nervous.“

“Can we kiss while we do it?”

Nothing you’d love more. You lay Hyunjin just where he started out, get a soft black ribbon from the nightstand. As promised, you tie his arms above his head, not too tightly or anything. A simple bow tie keeps the whole thing together, making it easy to open. The loose ends dangle at the sides of his wrists, teasing his skin. Goosebumps. It all makes for a nice view of his arms, and his head is brought a little forward, it’s perfect to kiss. He’s practically on the verge of kissing without you moving your lips close to his.

Starting with a little peck on the forehead and nose, you make sure he feels well in his position and get a second black ribbon to tie his eyes. A bit tighter, just so it won’t come off when his head moves. The knot you place on the right side rather than the back of the head, it’d be uncomfortable against the pillow he’s rested on. Hyunjin gets more and more excited.

“I want you to just feel. Do you want me to start?”

 “Yes—,” he says. “And, do it slowly. I don’t want you to hurt yourself also.“

He’s so sweet. And he knows his dick is kinda massive. Too many first times ruined because of that. 

“Extra slow, Hyunjin. I’ll make this feel really great for us. Come, kiss me.”

Your tongues connect just when you get hold of him with your right hand. The touch has Hyunjin groaning into the kiss—

Pretty fucking strongly.

There he goes again. Your fingers, red button, the whole shebang. Little did you know he’d start whining even more the second you line him up between your pussy lips, and move his tip around a bit. Just to say hi to your clit, and to give yourself a good feel of what’s going in first. Hyunjin is literally falling apart below you already. He can barely keep it in. 

And you can’t keep it out: Finally, you point his cock tip between your labia, and his saliva is just perfect to help you glide it past the entrance. Hyunjin’s kisses are getting hungry and desperate, and even louder, with heavy breaths along the way. 

“Jesus Christ,” he’ll catch you mumbling, and you can feel his dick throbbing. “Let me hear you!”

“You’re squeezing me! Oh shit, shit!”

Looks like someone’s very passionate to say the least. It didn’t stop with the handjob, then. Any kind of contact with his dick is having Hyunjin’s voice do somersaults. Guess why he’s walking around so noisily all day when he’s just walking and his pants do their thing like, giving him a good rub even if it’s just lightly on the surface.

With reactions like that, Hyunjin’s dick is well inside of you without any further ado. Boyfriend moaning, pussy open. While you’re enjoying the feel of being completely full with him, and imagine how deep his spit is being thrust inside you — oh god, yes — Hyunjin seems to have his own imaginations. The blindfold was both a good and a bad idea. He can’t anticipate your next move, but he also seems to feel you sliding him in twice as much. 

“Are you thinking I’m some kind of succubus, huh.”

You tease, wiggle your hips. Causing one loud fucking moan.

“It feels that way, ah!”

“Are you gonna scream your lungs out when I start moving, hm?“

“I can’t control it!”

“Let’s see then.”

You lean back into the kiss, bent forward just enough to change the way his dick is aligned inside of you all over again. A little bounce and the position is perfect.

“Wow, look. This is a good angle. It just goes right in.”

“Hn—!”

It’s amazing how he reacts at your mercy. Your kisses stifle the moans, but they also make him more on edge because he wants to let it out. Congrats, you’ve found the officially best way to torture him. 

“So. How about doing this.”

You raise your hips. It takes quite some effort to pull him out that far because he’s so girthy. It’s literally pulling at your walls as if they don’t wanna let him go. You do it slowly, terribly slow, every millimeter has your pussy lips deliciously tracing another facet of him. Moving up means cleaning some more saliva off his shaft. It all goes inside you. God bless his runny mouth while he was eating you out. 

Only Hyunjin’s tip remains inside of you. The air hitting what was previously buried inside you makes for a surefire way to make him break the kiss and bite his lips. 

“My cock! My, ah, my!”

His hands are all wobbly above his head. As are his legs behind you. 

“How are we taking it down there.”

“If you do that hip thing again, I can’t guarantee anything!“

So that’s what makes his heart beat faster.

“I’d be damn cruel making you cum so early, darling. Sooner or later I’ll milk all your semen anyway.“

Well, succubus indeed.

“I’ll just blow up, I can’t!“

“You’re lucky I won’t be riding you full-speed or something. You’re just too big for that. But what if I do the hip thing and you can’t cum?”

“Oh fuck!“

For good measure, you nuzzle him generously, and yes, do the thing. The agony in his expression is not even the full effect of what you’ve done. Hyunjin is screaming out loud. 

“And that was with a warning. I’ll do it again and if you can stand it, you get some pussy in your face. Wanna get treated?”

“Please, please treat me!”

“But first...”

To add some extra spice, you push down to his base all over again. Hyunjin arches, his teeth are almost sewn shut from the pressure of his tight jaw. Once he’s balls deep, you flick your hip just a little. A loud moan simmers into a little mewl, the jaw unclenches, his tongue starts lapping out. You’ve truly shut off his brain right now.

“Very well done.”

Pulling out works faster now, but you notice how it’s not as slippery anymore. A lot of Hyunjin’s spit has gathered around the lower third of his dick. It’s a nice sight to have it drip on his terribly swollen balls that are probably going through a whole bunch of things right now. 

“Good thing you get something to slurp on. We need more spit. Use your mouth!”

Hyunjin’s cock being untouched right now seems to take the edge off, but his mouth, holy shit. His mouth is on an eager spree to wet you up all over. On top of your own lubrication, Hyunjin provides another ridiculous amount of leakage all over your clit and folds. It’s running all over his face. 

The blindfold gets soaked as does his nose. A frantically moaning Hyunjin doesn’t seem to stop slurping and pushing out spit, you swear he’s gonna fucking drown. That method. It’s completely chaotic just like his fingering. You weren’t wrong, then. He might die then, but at least you’re able to remove the blindfold, wearing that is too gross. Hyunjin is excitedly blinking at you through his own spit like the sun is blinding him but he doesn’t mind.

“Mnm—nh!”

“I love you. Amazing. Look at this. You’re so nasty. Come, let’s do this again. Hope that cock can push all that into me. It’s too good to waste.“

You get back to squatting on his dick, admittedly a little wobbly on the mattress now. Hyunjin’s satanic ritual tongue does not go without a notice. Nor does the way you slide back down on him, and back up.

“Oh woah!”

A clean thrust. Your pussy is dripping so much on him, a little stream glosses over the thread of veins on the underside. Before it reaches down and disappears between his thighs, you make sure to collect it with another thrust. Hyunjin stares just right at his cock disappearing in you, framed by your labia stretching out. His jaw is completely dropped.

“Yes, that’s how we’re looking like. You have a great cock. Listen to that sound.”

Smooth gliding and a wet little smack when you touch down.

“It’s, it’s amazing... It feels so warm and creamy.”

“Watch. I’ll be stirring your spit all inside me.“

Slowly, carefully, you ride him again, this time connecting several thrusts. Hyunjin looks adorable with his wide eyes and sweaty face. 

“Yes! Oh yes, oh.... That feels so good.”

“Nothing wasted. You’re doing really well. You’re good at this.“

You lean in for a deep kiss. Only after you tongue him down do you realize just how much he’s ruined his mouth. It’s so sticky and wet, and his lips are so exhausted. They’ve been swelling up more than you thought they would, he’s really put them to the test like a champ. Well, they’ve lost their virginity, too. The kiss ends with two wet mouths parting by a thread.

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Yes. I really love it. Thank you, Hyunjin. Can I finish off first? I wanna use my hands to make you cum.“

“You’re the best,“ he becomes flustered, and watches in awe just how you reposition yourself all over again, pointing his cock at his belly flat this time. It’s perfect to just grind right above it. A bit of fluid leaking from your pussy mixed with lube and spit makes for the best slippery help to get your clit some intense stimulation from gliding squarely across Hyunjin’s bit vein. 

“Fucking hell, babe. That’s a wonder dick.”

How he throbs and pulsates is the last push it needs to get close. You loosen the tie of Hyunjin’s ribbon and his hands dart around you, hold you, and he winds his hips to give you more of the friction. 

But this time, he’s moving faster, and your orgasm arrives quicker than you count from 30, not even that. You get messy on his balls and base, and Hyunjin almost loses it from having you grind on him. That he’s been holding it in until now is a miracle. His hair is nothing but sweaty streaks right now.

As soon as the waves of pleasure become smaller and you can think again, both your and his hand come wrapping around his shaft. No problem moving your palms around, he’s covered in all that honey. Plus there’s more space, he could fit three palms. It feels so intimate doing it together and being in sync. Hyunjin’s broken moans and whines are well accompanied by more hip bucks and a quicker pace. Your two hands squeezing up and down makes Hyunjin start to beg to you.

“Please use the other hand, please, please choke me through this!“

You go for a lighter grip, hell, he hasn’t done this before, but Hyunjin isn’t having it. The protest is all loud and clear.

“Squeeze my throat! Please, harder, do it hard, please!”

You press down at either side of his neck, and make sure to translate that onto his cock as well, still jerking him off. You don’t let go until he’s cumming. 

A thick white spurt empties between the intertwine of your fingers. Hyunjin squeals out loud, catching air, almost crying. Another load has him all shaky, growling, and rubbing his own hand around yours to push out even the last bits of sperm. Surprise, there’s more cum leaking out.

“Oh, what to do with all that big dick.”

“It’s, it’s so much!“

“Come here with that milk.“

You lower your face on him and let the last clear bits come up against your puckered lips. They spread his cum all over the tip, kiss it, catch new threads, swirl them around while your hands are pumping the lower half, all the meaty girth. Never missing an opportunity for torture. Hyunjin is screaming and suffering all over again. His semen has been oozing all over your hands. 

“Clean it, babe. We’ll lay down in a minute. That’s an amazing icing.”

Hyunjin’s tongue has a last job and it does it well. Your fingers are super clean and well-kissed, his lips are so glorious. You’re both dizzy, but you at least manage to towel down. Because his face is a mess, your lips are dripping, your pussy is a swimming pool of spit, and that ruined dick has seen some things today, oh yeah it did. What better way to leave its virginity inside of you all slicked up and sloppy. 

Hyunjin starts freezing very fast by now, and you get a weighted blanket, with you on top of him, in a sweater, just because. Sharing heat is caring heat. You love cuddles after sex.

“Say something cute and nasty,” he pouts, and you think of a good way to summarize the evening. 

“I mean look at you. You’re officially a slut now. My slut,” you pinch his nose. “If you want. Let’s have some fun like that tomorrow again. I can’t wait, you know. That’s a really loud boy I got myself.“

“Oh yes, tomorrow!”

“I might be blowing you for more of that icing. It was really nice and sugary.“

“I eat lots of fruit!”

Now that’s a keeper.

“And I gotta say, shit...“

“You came really hard on my dick, right.”

Hyunjin makes an innocent face saying that, but you know very well how he’s been taking you in, he’s learning.

“Yeah.“

“That was that sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He smiles a little, exhausted, but flustered. 

“Lot more to come. That’s only the first time for you.”

“I’ve been thinking that as well. Say it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen until tomorrow.“

“Exactly right. That’s the idea,” you kiss his neck now, breathing in the afterglow. “And, by the way. Um. I hope I removed the ribbons at the right timing.“

“It was in the right moment!“

“Should we try more like that next time?”

“I like it.“

“Me too. You look perfect tied up.”

The blindfold did the trick, you know it. Hyunjin has hardly reacted to your touch like that when cuddling. Although, that’s hard to compare, is it.

“And... You really could have choked me a little harder by the way.“

Hyunjin knows just how to mimic you. Another nose pinch for you, young man.

“We didn’t plan it so I thought I’d go easy on you. But if you like it. You want it rougher, don’t ya. You just wanna fucking scream.“

“I’ll admit it,” he nuzzles his face into your sweater. “I’m just very loud...”

“We’ll see what kind of ideas I’ll come up with to get you even louder. Deal?”

“Favorite deal.“

FINAL NOTE. thank you for reading - caro 🐅

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed.

[earlgreydream]

exams.

| stucky x reader | fluff |

this was so self indulgent. I need Steve and Bucky to help me with my exams

You hit submit on your online exam, holding your breath. You’d been sitting in Steve’s office for hours, notes spread all over the desk in front you. Steve was on the couch on the other side of the room, reading from a book, and Bucky was out on a mission with Stark. 

“Fuck!” you gasped, seeing the 62% grade. Steve looked up, and your head dropped into your hands, tears sliding down your cheeks. You broke into sobs, seeing all of your time and effort wasted. 

“Y/N!” Steve walked over and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, coming to stand behind you. You choked on your cries, tears soaking your hands that were pressed to your face. Steve sighed when he looked at the screen, his lips pressing against the back of your head. 

“It’s okay, it’s one grade.”

“It’s not! It’s everything! I’m working so hard and I just keep failing!” you wept, and Steve spun your chair around and turned you into his body. His hand went to the back of your head, cradling you gently as you sobbed into his chest.

“Y/N, take a deep breath. There will be other exams. I know how hard you’ve been working. You need a break to recharge.”

“I can’t, I have a history exam at the end of this week-”

“Bucky and I will help you. Come on, you’ve been bent over the desk all day.”

“Steve, no-” you argued, trying to reopen your laptop as Steve closed it. He caught your wrists and pulled you away from the desk.

“You’re done.” Steve didn’t care that you were fighting him, you needed a break from your university work and you were getting it one way or another. You fought him but your strength was nothing compared to the super soldier serum, and you finally gave up and let him drag you out. 

“What are we doing?” you asked through weak sobs as you followed him through the Stark Tower penthouse. Loki looked up, and his brow knitted in concern. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” you muttered, not wanting to tell the mischievous god that you were crying over a failed exam.

“You’re not-”

“Leave her be, Loki,” Steve scolded. 

You were sat down on the couch, and Loki and the others cleared out so you could be alone with your boyfriend. Steve set a generous bowl of ice cream in your hands, and you couldn’t stop the small laugh when you saw rainbow sprinkles on it. His blue eyes were wide and concerned, and he brushed tears from your face. 

Steve did his best to cheer you up and help you relax, but he was never able to comfort you like Bucky could. Steve would’ve given anything to have your boyfriend home, helping him comfort you. 

You’d spent nearly every waking hour working on your university work for months. When you weren’t bent over your computer in Steve’s office, you were doing research at the library, or you were in classrooms, trying to take notes on everything your professors said. You loved school, but you were exhausted and it was wearing on you. The workload was like a beating, and you were just ready to be finished. 

Steve and Bucky were always being sent on missions, and most of the time it was just you and Loki at the tower. He was no help to your studies, usually trying to convince you to just drop out-- you’d never really need a degree with the connections and money you had. 

You weren’t an avenger, but you lived comfortably in Stark Tower with the others. When you weren’t occupied with schools or spending time with your boyfriends when they were home, you were babysitting Loki or helping run intelligence with Stark. You’d decided to go back to school, but now, with exams and papers piling up, you were miserable.

“Hey, honey,” Steve pulled you onto his lap as you cried over your ice cream.

“Sorry, I just... I just feel like I spend all this effort and energy and time only to fall short.” 

“I know it feels that way, but you’re doing well. You have good grades and you are so smart. It’s always hardest at the end of the semester. You can do this Y/N, you’re almost there.” 

You tried to smile at Steve, but you couldn’t. He set the bowl aside and held you against his chest. Your arms went around his neck and you squeezed the soldier tightly. Tears soaked through his shirt, and he rubbed your back gently. He kissed your head and smoothed his hands up under your shirt.

“I’m sorry Bucky isn’t here-”

“Steve,” you sat up and held his face.

“I love you. Thank you for taking care of me.”

You kissed him, before laughing softly and apologized for your tears soaking everything. He shook his head and kissed you again, relieved to see you show some amusement. 

“Your ice cream is getting all melty,” he laughed, spooning some into your mouth and kissing it off of your lips. 

The two of you shared the half-melted ice cream, and you started to ache from the position you were in, straddling his lap. You climbed off of him, and started walking back toward the office.

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

“I should study-”

“Not a chance. No more working today.”

“Steve,” you sighed, sticking your lower lip out. You huffed and walked back to him, letting Steve pick you up like a bride. You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him carry you to your bedroom. 

Steve talked you into a hot shower with steamers that Bucky had brought back from some artisan soap shop in Russia where he’d gone on a mission and brought things back for you. He picked up your bedroom while he waited, putting in a takeout order from a place you liked uptown. 

You returned in spandex shorts and one of Steve’s flannels, rubbing your eyes. His hands went to your waist and he kissed your cheek, making you smile sleepily. You’d finally given in to how tired you were, the steam of the shower helping significantly. You were exhausted from stress and crying, and now you just wanted to curl up with Steve.

He walked back in with a bag of food, and you smiled, moving over in bed. He handed you a box of fried rice and you curled up against his side.

“What are we watching?” 

“Star Wars.”

Steve groaned and you gave him an offended look. He rolled his eyes, suggesting that maybe you could find something more entertaining. 

“If Bucky was here, he’d watch it with me...” you whispered, knowing it was a low blow. You didn’t mean it seriously, and Steve knew that, but he still felt a pang of guilt.

“Good thing I love Star Wars,” Steve hummed, moving you to lay back on his chest instead of under his arm. 

“I knew you’d come around,” you smiled. 

You were asleep before the movie was even over, and Steve slid out of bed carefully. He made sure the blankets were pulled over you, and you were curled up safely in the middle of the bed, not in danger of rolling off the edge without the usual boys on either side of you.

He left the movie on softly in case you woke up, but grabbed your empty takeout boxes and took them to toss away. He was headed back when the door opened, Bucky and Tony walking inside.

“Steve!” Bucky gasped, running to the blond. Steve hugged Bucky, kissing him for the first time in over a week.

“How was the mission?”

Steve listened to Bucky recount the details, explaining it was an overall success but he was exhausted and drained. Steel eyes searched the kitchen for you, but found nothing.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Asleep. She failed her exam, and cried for hours. Y/N spends so much time with school and studying, and to see her so stress really worries me. And I’m not near as good as you at calming her down. She all but begged for you,” Steve explained, and Bucky’s eyes saddened.

“I hate that. It’s a lot for her, the stress. It shouldn’t be so hard. And don’t do that, Stevie. She adores you, and you know it.”

Bucky kissed him again briefly before going to find you. He smiled slightly at the familiar sight of The Last Jedi playing on the television in your room, knowing it was your favorite when you were anxious. He didn’t quite understand, but something about its familiarity soothed you.

Bucky sat down on the edge of the bed, causing you to stir out of your nap.

“Bucky?” You gasped when your eyes opened.

You lunged forward and threw your arms around his neck, wrapping yourself around his body tightly. He squeezed you and kissed your hair until you drew back. You grabbed his scruffy face and kissed your boyfriend, melting into him.

“Steve said you had a bad day,” Bucky finally spoke when you drew back for air. He brushed some hair from your face, and your eyes flitted to the blond behind him. You knew Steve would express his worry to Bucky, and you felt small under their concerned gazes.

“I failed one of my exams,” you admitted, your head hanging down. His lips pressed to your forehead, and he cradled you in his arms.

“It’s okay, my love. I know how hard you worked. So does Steve, and your professor knows too. We’re going to help you study so the next time it goes better, okay?” He tilted your chin up, making you look at him.

You nodded, consoled by the soldier.

“And I’ll help with your history exam. I know a lot about World War Two. I practically lived it,” Bucky joked, and you shook your head.

“Bucky, that’s not funny,” you bit back a laugh, and even Steve smiled.

“Thank you,” you relented, accepting a soft kiss. His hands rested on your waist under Steve’s massive flannel, rubbing small circles on your skin, the action soothing you.

“Did you manage to convince Steve to watch Star Wars with you?”

“Yes, but he whined.”

“Hey,” Steve began to defend himself, ready with the excuse that he did give in to watching the film with you.

“I’m just happy you’re home,” your voice was soft, and Bucky pulled you back into a hug.

“I’m so happy to be home with you.”

Bucky spent hours leaned over your notes with you, showing you flash cards and helping you study for your history final.

You kept apologizing, but he insisted that you were more than fine, and he was happy to help. Steve contributed when he could, though Bucky was much more patient with your academics.

However, Steve was the one who set a cup of coffee next to you as you sat to take your exam. With a reassuring kiss to your head, they left you alone to focus. You answered questions, referring to your notes when the answer didn’t come to mind immediately.

An hour and a half later, you breathed a huge sigh of relief when you saw the 97% flash across the screen. You closed your computer and went to find your boyfriends, to tell them about your success, and thank Bucky for the hours of tutoring he’d given you.

You found them reading in the library, and they both set their books down as soon as they heard your footsteps.

“How’d it go, doll?”

“I got a ninety-seven!” You shrieked excitedly, running to them and giggling and they wrapped their arms around you. Your cheeks were smothered with kisses and your delighted laughter healed the ache in their hearts caused by your stressed crying over your grades.

“So proud of our girl,” Steve praised you, and you squeezed them.

“Thank you! Thank you for helping me.”

“Always. And now, we get to have fun celebrating!”

“I’m a little bit exhausted. Can we celebrate in bed?” You asked hopefully, and a deviant smirk crossed Bucky’s face.

“Not like that, you pervert,” you giggled, swatting his hands away as he groped your butt through your thin shorts.

Steve wasn’t thrilled about your choice of celebration, but he would never deny you the simple happiness that binging the Star Wars prequels brought you. Bucky was more than excited to watch you get heated with Anakin, passionately declaring your love and loyalty to him, as you did every time you watched them.

“I don’t understand. He is the bad guy!” Steve complained.

“Shut up. He’s gorgeous. And he’s not even evil, he just wanted to save Padmé!”

“I could break him in half with my fingers,” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Probably not. Anakin has the force,” Bucky pointed out, and Steve shot him a glare.

You just laughed between them, eating from the large bowl of popcorn that was nestled in your lap. Steve didn’t mind half as much as he complained, and you knew that. Bucky engaged in all of your pro-dark side propaganda, enjoying the happy chatter that came along with watching your comfort movies.

They took care of you, thankful no more tears were being shed today over your classes.

[cuddlesslut]

Part One :Home

Atsumu x Reader(fem)

Summary: Atsumu Miya had always been your home. But what if things changed

Tags: Fluff, Angst, cheating

2k words

Part Two: Silence

Atsumu Miya showed you the most love and care. Being with him felt like you were home. And it’s funny because in the beginning you wanted absolutely nothing to do with the setter.

———

Seeing his hords of fan girls crowding his desk every morning made you want to gag mainly because it interfered with you claiming your own seat. Everyday it was the same when you were in high school. You’d make your way to class only to find you seat inaccessible. After finally being able to shoo away the path to your desk just in time for class to start you’d deal with Atsumu incessant chattering or what he’d refer to as flirting. You honestly didn’t understand how he thought those lame lines would work on anyone. But every class with out fail he’d always have some lame line to spew at you. It made no sense in your eyes why you out of the sea of girls and some boys he could pick from why did he have his sights set on you.

You paid no mind in the beginning rolling you eyes at all his advances. You figured it was just some game to him it’s not like any of what he said genuine at least not to you. Apparently the volleyball player thought these attempts were the most romantic things ever when he finally cornered you after class one.

“ Aye I have been trying my best to get your attention for the last month,” he said as he laid his hand on your desk trapping you in your place, “What’s y’er deal?” You cocked you head to the side in disbelief. Moving his arm to the side you stood straightening you paper to put in you bag. Turning back to face him.

“Miya-San you can’t actually expect me to believe that was your “best effort” in trying to win my affection” you chuckled. Atsumu there with a look of confusion dawning his (what you couldn’t deny) extremely handsome face. Decided to cut your fellow second year some slack you continued. “None of your lines were meaningful, you showed no authentic interest in me,” you gave him a soft smile starting to make your way out of the class room. You stopped at the door turning and presenting him with a wicked smile “ it won’t be that easy, make sure to give it y’er all next.” And with that you we’re gone leaving him in disbelief he’d never been turned down before. He gave a small laugh to no one but himself as he decided in that moment he’d do everything to make you his.

Sure enough he put his all into trying to win your heart. While he wasn’t rude to his fan girls he definitely didn’t indulge them as much which eased your morning commute to your desk. Next were the notes he would leave. The first few were longer and almost made you want to laugh your ass off they were his love letter to you that you could tell he tried to make sound poetic. ( failing epically) but still you send him a small smile and a nod in acceptance. The other were little notes, some stating small facts about what he liked about you or little jokes about the day. Next was the gifts he would leave you. Once it was a small flower, another time a candy bar, most recently a delicious piece of milk bread. All of these little tokens definitely grabbed your heart but the moment you knew you had fallen for him was the day after you came back to school after having a cold. After sitting in your seat next to him you saw him rummage through his bag he turned to you and present you with all the notes he had taken for you through your absence. Seeing this boy who’s mind only ever focus on volleyball and cared little for his own grade do this broke down all your wall. You stared at the notes for a moment before leaning over and place a small kiss to his cheek. A blush crept up both of you faces. And from that moment forward you were his.

———

But that was then. It was now six years later and not only was Atsumu Miya your home he was also your fiancé. You had each been there for each other through everything. You were there through nationals and comforted him through his loss. You were there with him to celebrate every win. He stood by you side as you stared college and you stayed by his side as he joined the professional league. Through the years you had your highs and lows but your love for him never wavered. Not through the distance his job would bring and the scheduling conflict with your schooling and his training. In the end none of that mattered to you because you were his and he was yours. The nights you spent in each other’s arm were the best thing you could have ever wished for.

As of recently though even if he was your home. You were beginning to feel less like his. It started with small things like extra practice which wasn’t anything you werent used to Atsumu had the habit of over working himself. You don’t say anything yet because you knows he gotten better and knows his limits. It progresses to though he’s becoming more distant always heading straight to bed after meals.

“Hey Tsumu wanna watch a movie tonight?” You smile weakly from the couch.

“Not tonight YN I’m really tired,” he reply’s placing a small kiss on your forehead as he head to bed.

It doesn’t stop there although you wish it would. He starts being out later claiming to have extra practice. But you notice the smell of alcohol on his breath when he climbs into bed believing you are asleep. And honestly you wish you would be alseep so maybe some nights you wouldn’t see the signs. The next clue was when he now put a lock on his phone. Something he had never done before. But still you don’t question him. The “late practices” become more frequent and it more often he gone than when he’s around.

Part of you wants to complain to you friends but for one your friends were his friends after spending so long together it’s hard for your lives not to be connected in such ways and two if you do it will make it all to real. You aren’t stupid. You know the truth you know the one reasons you both haven’t been intimate lately is because his body has marks on it from another. You realized that when you had gone into the bathroom real quick while he was showering. It was the tiniest glance but you still saw the scratches on his back that weren’t left by you. Yet you still say nothing and you doubt he realizes you saw them.

You aren’t ready for this to be real. You aren’t ready for your home to be gone. Tomorrow is your birthday and your hoping that this will be it . Tomorrow you will both spend the day together like you used to you’ll laugh and smile everything will be right. Everything will go back to the way it was. Even though deep down you know the truth. And the truth is that you’ve cried yourself to sleep every night the past month wondering where you went wrong. Wondering how you weren’t good enough. Wondering what you should have done to make him stay. But he’s never home to see those tear you cry.

The next morning you wake and go to start some breakfast leaving Atsumu in bed. You wonder when he got home but you know it doesn’t matter. You hear the shower start as you made your coffee. Shortly after the setter appears wearing his training clothes and his duffel bag packed. “ I’m heading to the gym,” he states giving you a quick peck to the temple before heading to the door. Those little kisses always cause your heart to squeeze in hope. He doesn’t wait for a response as he leaves. A sigh leaves you lips as you realize he hadn’t said anything to you about your birthday. You shake your head and fool yourself into thinking he’ll surprise you later.

You continued you day getting little birthday messages from friends and family. Osamu had a box of Onigiri sent to you for lunch with a note saying Happy Birthday. You have a nice call with your best friend Suna and he tells you he’ll come see you soon to celebrate. You were on the phone with Suna longer than you expected seeing the time now said 5:37. After ending the call you see one missed messaged from Tsmu 💕 : practicing late tonight don’t wait up.

You heart stops. He really forgot. You really mean that little that he forgot your birthday. It was the final straw. Although part of your body wanted to break down into sobs you remained calm as though working on auto pilot. Slowly you make your way to your room grabbing your luggage and started packing all of your essentials and anything you couldn't bare to leave behind not knowing if you’d have the courage to return. After finally loading your car it was now 7:20. You knew you shouldn’t that you’d only get hurt more but you pulled out your phone and did something you never could bring yourself to do before. You checked his location. A chuckle leaves your lips as you see he’s at your favorite restaurant. The one you both loved so much and had spent countless anniversaries dinners at. Not thinking you run back into your condo that you shared with the twin. You dug to the back of you closest and quickly change into one of your favorite dresses. Your hair was already nice and you didn’t need much make up so as you finished getting ready you left. Heading straight to the restaurant.

You can’t say for sure what cause you to want to go there. Maybe a small part of yourself needed to see it. But sure enough you can’t mistake that yellow hair sitting toward the back of the restaurant is your fiancé with another woman. His back is to you and her attention is all on him enraptured in whatever garbage he’s spewing. In that moment a calm rage settles over you. You look at the hostess and requested a table a little ways away from them one where your still out of his view. As you sit you place an order for a glass of wine still setting up how you want to approach this. Then an daring thought crosses your mind. You called for your waitress.

“Excuse me but you see that couple over there,” you said motioning towards them. “Yes ma’am” she nods. “Well that’s my best friend over there and I really love to do something nice for them it’s their birthday!” The waitress smiles as you explain your plan. You sit and wait as you sip your wine when finally the waitress walks over to their table.

“Hi” the waitress greets them before setting down the dessert. A look of confusion crosses their faces and you can’t help but grin. Atsumu smiles politely before looking down at the cake. His smile drops immediately as he read the cake “Happy Birthday YN”. You giggle as you see the panic in his eyes. “I’m sorry we didn’t order this,” the unknown woman states to the waitress. You can see the waitress smile as she points to your table an explains your friend ordered it for you. You not quite sure how to explain the emotions written on Atsumu’s face as he watches you walk up the table.

“Y-YN,” he stutters. You can see the look of confusion on the girls face and for moment you feel sorry for her maybe she was just as clueless as you. “Hi Tsmu,” you smile leaning over to take a bite of your birthday cake. “Mmm Chocolate, delicious,” you smiled before looking him dead in the eyes as you removed your engagement ring and dropped it in his glass of champagne. “You can have this back,” you state bitterly before turning around and handing your waitress a big bill to cover your drink the cake and a nice tip. You start to walk of as you hear him call for you. But you refuse to turn back. You know your moment of strength is fading and you won’t let him see you tears. So you keep walking straight to you car and drive away. Not sure where to go. You just left your home.

This my first time writing angst and also my fist time writing in a while.

Also unedited

Home Masterlist