#every time i see one i smile

[takami-takami]

its so wild to me that i care abt your anons as much as i care abt you HAHA like hi v!! oh its coffee!! aww, hi jellyfish!! where tf is star anon!! ooh new anon, hi!! i feel like a puppy excited to meet new ppl LMAO

OH MY GOD SAME I LOVE MY BELOVED EMOJI ANONS I'M SO HAPPY OTHERS DO TOO

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[sweetlullabyebye]

Made way too many posts about jealous Charles so here is Charles actually smiling for a change

[ruporas]

i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

erik will genuinely jump at any chance he can to steal charles' last name and be so catty about it i know this for a fact WHAT is his deal

[Magneto (2011)]

[rockpaperscissuhs]

BAND OF BROTHERS: EPISODE ONE + my favorite closeup shots

[frankiebirds]

everytime i think about hotch's dynamic with garcia i lose my mind. familial, platonic, romantic, however you view it (although the last of those is very underrated) it's so different and i think it's the best evidence of who hotch is internally, and that most of what he shows in the rest of the show is a mask.

hotch is far gentler with penelope than he is with the rest of the team, partially because she's the furthest removed from the rest of the team and he has the ability to treat her more gently, but also because he can relax around her. i don't even think hotch actively tries to treat garcia so gently, i think he just lets his guard down around her and the rest comes naturally. and also she's his favourite. i will accept no argument /hj

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Redraw of my first post on this blog. Oh how far we've come B'*)

[Now with it's own redraw!]

[almea]

The start of the Bees' literal battle couple era

[beanghostprincess]

this is my roman empire.

[drkcatt]

>>🌟 NEW COMIC SERIES: HEAR / FEEL / THINK / ANSWER 🌟<<

Shortly after the Scions' return to the Source after their time in the First, Krile receives a mysterious missive from Hydaelyn with a perplexing message: Minfilia awaits. Pulling the former antecedent from the Lifestream, Minfilia now finds herself with a second chance after her divine duty-- and she isn't quite sure where she fits into this story anymore. Her return has left everyone with countless questions, and she wants answers.

Hi everyone !! so... it's been a long time coming. I'm making an official collection and attempt at making my Minfilia Comes Back AU, which is my own version of canon, into a comic series to share with everyone. This series is a side passion project and will vary in page quality with the main goal of sharing the story. Pages will also be in the vertical scroll format, and hosted on Comicfury! This comic assumed the reader is familiar with MSQ past Patch 5.3 and will contain spoilers!

The first update will be *coming soon,* for now there is the cover, a small explanation post, and the 11 page "burial" comic that flags the beginning of the AU.

Check out the comic site >>HERE<<

[dirtytransmasc]

thinking about how not ready I am for Neteyam to haunt the narrative.

[gingermintpepper]

I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)

SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??

OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS

I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).

Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀

Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.

(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)

(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)

Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.

[seiwas]

there is a very specific image in my head of early-mid 20’s iwaizumi hajime

[wildsaltair]

now that the seven busiest days of the year are FINALLY over, I can get back to my Maximus insanity. here have a close-up of the hands and arms that make guest appearances in every daydream I have ever had

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

oh i never posted this (cuickly cleans up the speech bubbles and format)

that one episode where sara made gumball into a superhero. um. molly threw herself at him, out of the blue, fully trusting he would save her, and before we figure out that its because sara has changed the narrative so everyone believes he is a real true superhero, um, i mean.

he did drag molly out of hell once

here, i added it. because the way my heart stops when she says "save me! like you saved-" and i think shes gonna say something like the shit in the comic. is good. share it with me.