#every time I see weird Al I think

[rabidvulcan]

@piranya

real life cartoon character

[baalzebufo]

THE WEIRD AL-CANA - 15. THE DEVIL- GERMS

---

aww yeah baby germs fanart time!! so, if you are looking at this post and somehow havent heard this song. or more specifically seen the 1999 live recording of it. well. do yourself a favour and watch that for me. do this for me. okay?

okay welcome back. hopefully you understand how I feel now. the devil is a card all about 'darker urges' and that can include addictions or compulsions, which feels fairly apt for this song tbh. also its the sexuality card and the NiN pastiche is a perfect choice for that.. honestly. i was just so excited to draw germs fanart again :')

[Prev Card]

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hiiiii can you do a jealous Alastor but not of anyone but his own shadows bc his wifey takes a liking on one of his shadows.

Oooh! I like this quite a lot! It’s very interesting and unique! Once again, beloved hubby Alastor! Another one I want to explore hubby of is Blitz. I think Blitz would make a good hubby

Alastor- Picking Favourites

Alastor’s furious, steaming from his deer-like ears so hot that it’s basically boiling him… did somebody hurt his ego? No. Did Angel Dust sexually advance on him again? No. Did his breakfast get interrupted by the Hotel Manager? NO. Nothing has inconvenienced him but something awful has been happening, day by day, that he can barely keep his composure

Hearing your laughter directed at something else felt like a puncture stab wound to his throat, but knowing your laughter is directed at his mere sentient shadow basically gutted him in the stomach with a sharp butcher knife right after. You’re his wife, his missus, his realm, the woman he has been fawning over for so long and you’re hitting it up with his sentient silent shadow?!

Of course, Alastor’s fascinating lively shadow is just being nice to it’s master’s recently wedded spouse, and is trying to get you accustom to being around so much Voodoo magic and the weirdness that is Alastor himself so it’s being all caring and leading you about, showing you items and teaching you Alastor’s favourite foods

But that doesn’t mean Alastor isn’t jealous… because he is, he’s really jealous

Whilst he reads through a interesting crime fiction novel, Alastor’s tall fluffy deer-like ears flick up at the sound of your voice. He can’t sense his voodoo-magic induced shadow, meaning that it’s wondered off to you and as he suspected, you enter your husband’s soothingly silent fireplace-warmed accompanied by Alastor’s sentient shadow. It cant really talk but it makes all kinds of humming and echoey noises. It almost seems like you understand it…

Alastor’s patience, throughout every time he hears this, has finally shattered to pieces as his claws dig into the book in his hand, snapping his fingers. The shadow directly mirroring your husband’s look, fades away into thin air as if it was a big fire and a bucket of water was dumped on the top of it, rising up into streams of smoke. It’s gone and you’re confused on why it disappeared

“Darling. Why are you getting so handsy with my friend?”

Alastor almost growls out with his deep scowl… this is possibly the first ever time you and Hell will ever see Alastor frown and frown so deeply he is… it’s kinda unnatural to look at but when Alastor willingly frowns and can’t pull himself to smile, it means he is more than pissed off… you didn’t think just being polite and going along with your husband’s voodoo magic shadow being would ever cause a problem

It’s just that Alastor’s love for you is so strong that it causes jealousy to concur and even jealousy over just some magic creating a shadowy being. Something that is sentient but mainly tied to it’s owner, to Alastor and he is jealous of his own creation

Approaching your beloved husband, the Radio Demon, you lean over, pushing back his somewhat messy crimson red bangs and kisses directly over the pale red almost bullet-sized ‘x’ on the flesh of his forehead. That ‘x’ is the biggest weak spot on Alastor, a symbol of his shame and where his pride can be hurt the most but he doesn’t mind showing off all his weaknesses and vulnerabilities to you… he had already told you about his human life

What’s one little kiss on that ‘x’ going to do?

Pulling back. It’s almost like the single kiss had melted away all his anger and Alastor is now just a soft innocent fluffy little fawn with his crimson red eyes almost sparkling at the affection. He didn’t suspect that, he suspected this’d turn into some big fight but you’re not going to argue, you’re going to explain yourself

“Alastor… Al, my love. I wasn’t replacing you with your shadow buddy. He was just trying to help me get accustom to being your wife. I’ve never been married before and being married to the Radio Demon… it’s. It requires a lot of adjusting so he was just trying to help”

Alastor couldn’t help but feel a bit bad about his half temper tantrum. Of course, why would his shadow even care about having a spouse of its own? It doesn’t, it cares about you being the best wife for its master so it’s trying to help and get you more comfortable. Yes, he is still jealous that you didn’t come to him and go to a shadow… but he does really appreciate all the effort and the wish to not rely on him in order to impress him

After taking a deep breath whilst placing his bigger clawed hand on the smaller clawed hand of yours over his cheek, gently fondling the soft skin over his face. Alastor rhythmically brushes his own fingers over the smooth skin of your hand briefly. Controlling himself, controlling his emotions and then finally saying whilst opening his eyes again to meet yours

Just… such beautiful eyes

“My dear… I appreciate the efforts but please, don’t think you can’t come to me to learn. We’re husband and wife, we work together. You don’t need to go to my friends for that advice”

[woso-dreamzzz]

Leaving VII

Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader

Summary: Olympic chaos with your sister

Y/NPutellas.S has started a live video. Click to join!

"-Got two backpacks," You're saying as Alexia clicks on your video," I think one of them might become my racket bag because the one I'm using right now is falling apart."

You shove the bags away, glancing around the space as you drag more towards you.

"There's a toiletry bag as well which is full of stuff I probably won't even use."

You pause as you scroll through the comments.

"What sport am I competing in? Oh, I'm doing tennis...Who will be the hardest to play against? Iga, always. I train with her most of the time and I think I've only beaten her a few matches this year. She's scary. Coco always gives me a good competition too. I think she text me a few hours ago but I haven't answered just yet."

You go back to showing off your haul.

You're very complimentary of all of the shoes but you seem confused as to why you've been given so many socks.

Alexia takes a screenshot of a weird face you make while trying on the bucket hat and hastily makes it her profile picture.

"I'm not a fan of the opening skirt," You tell your followers," It's not really my style. I'll wear it because I have to but...What's that? My sister's here?"

You crowd a bit closer to your phone, brows furrowed as you scroll up looking for Alexia's comments.

She feels triumphant at the look of horror on your face when you see her profile picture.

"Alexia!" You shriek," Change it back! My eyes aren't even open! Ale, please!"

Alexia does not change it back and you swear under your breath at her.

"I'm telling Mama!"

Alexia Putellas: Go ahead, you little snitch

"I'm not a snitch!"

Alexia Putellas: Yes, you are

"Don't listen to her guys! She's such a liar!"

You've always been more active on social media than Alexia and fans eat up any content you post on your TikTok. Most of your fans are just people that watch tennis but you've gone viral overnight when you posted a video of you and Iga reuniting at the Olympic Village.

Suddenly, everyone wants content from you and you're posting more than you ever have before.

A lot of it still centres around your tennis, out on the practice courts with the rest of team Spain but there's more domestic things like you retaping your racket grip and showing off everything in the Olympic Village.

Something in Alexia snaps when you make a video complaining about how uncomfortable your cardboard bed is. Suddenly, she's stitching your video.

Her camera pans across her normal hotel bed and ends with her giving a thumbs up to the camera with a smug grin on her face.

Her own fans go crazy over her posting something outside of sponsorships and it's strange to see that some people don't even know who you are.

woso.alexia.engen: Who was the first person in the video???? -> captainklittle: Alexia's little sister! She's representing Spain for tennis!

A second stitch appears hours later, piggybacking off a video of you complaining about your lack of AC. There's no sound apart from the very deliberate flick of Alexia's own AC switch.

It seems every complaint you post, Alexia finds a way to show off how much better she has it in a hotel outside of Paris.

You decide, perhaps a little pettily, to show off what she's missing.

"Hi, guys!" You say," I know a lot of people were wondering about pin trading so I thought I would bring you along for the ride! I've already got a Poland one from Iga and a US one from Coco but I've been wanting a Team GB one and I'm also meeting up with Paolini so she can give me an Italy one."

It's another live video and thank god there's a break in training, so Alexia can jump onto it again.

Jenni and Misa crowd around her at the same time, curious as to what's going on with you.

"I was talking to Carlos at breakfast and he was telling me that the coaches have ordered us all mattress toppers because the beds have started to affect how we're performing."

Alexia Putellas: Sucks to be you, doesn't it?

"Alexia, I swear to god if you keep bullying me then I'm telling Mama and she'll fly out to whoop your ass!"

Alexia Putellas: 🤪

"And Jenni I knew that it's you that just sent that because Alexia doesn't understand emojis."

"Fuck," Jenni mutters.

"Wait, give me the phone. I'll fix it," Misa says.

Alexia Putellas: Who's Jenni?

"Misa, I know that's you as well. Stop trying to cover for each other and I'll tell Mama and she'll whoop all of you."

Alexia doesn't get her phone back for the rest of your live but she does get a strongly worded text from Eli after it's over to grow up and not let her friends bully you.

Alexia calls you a snitch.

You remind her that she should stop bullying you.

"Look who it is!" Jenni cajoles as you come running out of the village to crash into Alexia," Baby Putellas!"

But you're not really listening to her as Alexia presses her forehead against yours, whispering fast Catalan to you as you giggle.

"Aw..." Misa continues where Jenni left off," Look at them! Two sisters! Reunited!"

You and Alexia push each other away, turning your back and pretending that you weren't hugging just a few moments ago.

You turn back to her quickly, hand out. "Can I have your pins?"

"What? No! They're mine!"

"You're not even in the Village! You can't use them!"

"Yes I can!" Alexia splutters out," I've been trading them!"

"Yeah? With who?"

"Jenni!"

"Liar! You've got the same pins! Come on, Ale. Give them over!"

"I will...for a price."

As Alexia lays out her terms, you bring everyone up to your room.

Jenni and Misa split off briefly to check out the dining hall but Alexia comes straight up with you.

"It's actually cardboard," She says, poking at your bed frame.

"Yeah? Do you think we were all lying about that? It's proper cardboard. You can draw on it if you want."

A smile splits your sister's face open.

"Never mind. I don't want you drawing on my bed."

Alexia pokes it. "Do you think it's true? That two people can't get on it at the same time?"

You shrug, rummaging through your bedside table. "I don't know. Why?"

You never get your answer though.

Arms are around your waist suddenly and you're being hauled backwards as Alexia slams herself onto your bed, dragging you back with her.

You may not get an answer but Alexia certainly does because the moment the two of you land, there's an almighty ripping noise and your bed goes to ground very quickly.

"Oops," You sister says.

"Alexia!"

"Sorry?"

"You don't sound very sorry at all."

"Yeah...You're right. I'm not sorry in the slightest. Hey! Stop hitting me!"

"You're lucky I'm not beating you with my rackets!"

"Hey. Hey! It's fine! You can get a new bed."

"Jenni and Misa are going to take the piss out of me! How could you do this, Ale?"

As annoying as your sister is, she at least has the decency to push the blame off onto her friends as you both hastily raise your bed up again and wait for Jenni and Misa to arrive.

They seem to have the same idea as Alexia, jumping onto your bed without so much of a greeting.

But, as planned, the bed collapses under them and the shock of their faces is enough for Alexia breaking your bed to be worth it. Their faces are even funnier as they head downstairs to ask for a new one for you.

Behind your back, Alexia passes you a handful of pins.

JenniHermoso10 has started a live video. Click to join!

"Forward! Forward!"

"I am going forward!"

"More forward! When I say forward, it doesn't mean shuffle! It means walk forward! You're a person not a pigeon!"

"And here we have Olympic football player Alexia Putellas and Olympic tennis player y/n Putellas, attempting to climb onto the rings," Jenni narrates from behind the camera.

"It's not going well," Misa says, as Alexia nearly throws you from your spot on her shoulders," Alexia is clearly struggling."

"I'm not struggling!" Alexia insists, yelping as you twist her hair in your hands.

"Forward!

"This is as forward as I can get!"

"That's such bullshit! Move closer!"

"I can't!"

"You can!"

"I don't think they're ever going to make it," Jenni says," It's like they can't-"

"Stop! Ale, stop! Left a bit. No! Too left. Right again. Left! Right! Left!"

"Left, right, forward, back," Alexia mutters," Make up your mind."

"Left and...got it...Wait! Don't let go!"

You haul yourself from your sister's shoulders onto the centre ring, positioning yourself perched on the sliver of the yellow ring that enters the black one.

"Alright," Alexia says," Give me a hand."

"What? No! You'll pull me off!"

"Give me your hand!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

She braces herself on the lower rings and grabs your hand, pulling herself into the centre ring before you can even shove her off.

"Oh," She says," That was pretty easy." Alexia grins at you but the smile drops from her face when she notices the pensive look you're wearing. "What is it?"

"I've just realised," You laugh in disbelief," When Mama said she wanted a picture of us and the rings. I think she meant in front of them. Not in them."

"Oh."

[yesihaveaobsession]

What is Love?

Alastor x female reader

Summary: Alastor consumes a love potion and becomes in love with the reader (you)

Warnings: Al is very touchy.

A/N- RAHH 🇺🇲🔥 Happy Fourth of July y'all!! To the ones who do celebrate! Consider this a gift <3

Where to start? Alastor wasn't paying attention to what was in his 'oh dear' mug. The last time he checked, there was deer blood, but the next thing he knew, a shiver went down his spine, and everything was all lovey-dovey, especially when he looked at you. His "soul mate." He thought you were a goddess; he saw you in a new bright light. He felt like all his darkness that was held within him, the weight that was on his shoulders were suddenly lifted he had a love potion.

You were totally oblivious and were reading a book in the foyer on the couch. It was a literature classic "The Great Gatsby" You honestly forgot you had it and decided to read it again. That's when he walked into the room over to you with the biggest smile. You didn't pay attention because he was stealthy, your eyes continue to move from left to right.

“Ah, there you are, my dear!” he exclaimed, his voice tinged with an uncharacteristic giddiness. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you.”

You looked up from your book, surprised to see Alastor acting so…enthusiastic. “Oh, hi Alastor. Is everything alright?”

“Everything is perfect now that I’ve found you,” he declared, taking a seat beside you, perhaps a bit too close for comfort. His eyes, usually sharp and calculating, were now soft and filled with an intense adoration that made your heart skip a beat.

“Are you feeling okay?” you asked, concern evident in your voice.

“Never better!” he replied, his grin widening. “In fact, I’ve never felt more alive. Tell me, darling, what are you reading?” He leans in closer, looking at the book. Showing him the cover and it to be "The Great Gatsby." Although he's heard of it, he wanted to hear you talk. So you were explaining its plot briefly. Alastor listened intently, hanging on to every word as if it were the most fascinating story he’d ever heard. His behavior was both endearing and slightly alarming.

“Alastor, are you sure you’re not sick or something?” you pressed, noticing the unusual flush on his cheeks. You placed your hand on his forehead, feeling to see if he was warm or not.“I assure you, my dear, I am in perfect health. In fact, I think I might be…in love.”

What did he just say? Love? Alastor is in love with you? Your eyes widened in shock. “What?”

“Yes,” he said, leaning closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m hopelessly, madly in love with you.” That would explain why he was acting weird, but this wasn't just madly in love with you. You put two and two together. His eyes lighter, a lighter and brighter red. You could've sworn you saw practically hearts in his eyes when you were explaining the book. He was under a love spell. But how.

You knew he probably wouldn't tell you so you would have to love it over. So you turned your body to face him, and he was watching your every move. You placed your book aside and scooted closer to him, your eyes softening as you gazed into his. Slowly, you raised your hand and gently cupped his cheek. “Alastor,” you said sweetly, “you’re so wonderful. But I can’t help but wonder, what brought this on?”

Alastor's expression, along with his smile, turned dreamy. As he leans into your touch, his eyes hald- lidded. “Oh, my dear, it’s as if the universe itself conspired to bring us together.”

You smiled, your fingers lightly tracing his jawline. “That sounds so magical. But surely, there must be something that sparked this, don’t you think?” That's when Charlie and Vaggie walked in, and they turned into shock.

You sigh and look over at them embarrassed, you say."Alastor is under some type of love potion. I don't know how, but he's in... love with me." You say the last few parts slowly.

"Oh. um." Charlie said as she looked at Alastor practically in your lap and his face inches away from yours.

"I'm trying to love it out of him." Turning your attention back over to him and turned on your charm. He sighed blissfully, his resistance melting under your affectionate gaze. “Well, if you must know, I did come across a rather interesting potion earlier…”

Your heart skipped a beat. "Where did you find it."

"At Rosies."

You leaned in closer, your lips brushing against his ear. “Can you show me where it is? I’d love to see it.”Alastor shivered at your proximity; his resolve completely undone. “Of course, my love. Anything for you.” He poofted it, and it appeared in his hand held empty.

That's when it started to ware of and he realized how close he was to you and he pulled away, trying not to show how embarrassed he was.

"Are you alright?" You ask. He stood from the couch straightened out his jacket and his bowtie and tuned back over to you keeping his hands on the flaps of his jacket.

"My apologies, my dear, now if you excuse me, I have some tasks that have to be done." He turned into his black shadow and disappeared. You, Charlie, and Vaggie look at each other loss of words. Alastor was seen in his Radio Tower. A part of that wasn't just the potion he actually had feelings, but he wasn't going to let you know.

He wasn't going to let you know that he knew it was a love potion and he was the one who put it in his deer mug. It wasn't just a dream. It was realer than ever.

[leahwllmsn]

loss of my life II

alexia putellas x reader

Bumping into you isn’t on Alexia's plan.

part of the loml series

Alexia barely manages to read her sister’s text when she bumps into someone, and she doesn’t need to look up to know who that person is—a year isn’t enough to erase the memory of you.

“Ale?” 

You‘re holding onto Alexia’s forearms to keep her from falling over. And Alexia... as much as her heart says otherwise, she doesn’t appreciate the contact. She’s overwhelmed, thinking about how she’s going to Mapi and Ingrid’s house-warming party with you and your new Leah there.

Alexia is dreading the day and now she has to see you when she isn’t prepared. At all.

“Uh—sorry.” you seem to notice the blonde’s discomfort and let go of her arms.

Alexia steps back and clears her throat. “No, no. I’m the one who should be sorry, I didn’t see where I was going.”

You give her a small smile and stay quiet—neither of you know what to say to each other anymore. This is the first time after the break-up that you’re both alone with each other. No one else is around, just the two of you. 

Alexia can feel her heart beating faster with every glance towards you and she really needs to get out of there.

Before she has the chance to give a reason to excuse herself, you speak up, “So... how was your summer?”

Alexia just stares at you, great, you want to have small talk. Alexia knows she can’t talk about you for more than five minutes without wanting to break out into a sob, how is she supposed to actually talk to you?

When Alexia doesn’t answer, you furrow your eyebrows and fiddle with your fingers—a sign that means you’re nervous, Alexia still remembers. “Uh, it’s okay if you don’t want to answer. This is probably so weird.” 

Alexia shakes her head and tries her best to flash you a genuine smile, “It was... okay, I guess. Nothing interesting. How about you?”

You smile back, and Alexia really hates how your smile still has an effect on her. “It was okay, too. I went to London and it was nice, but I miss Barcelona every second I was away.”

Alexia nods in reply. A silence then falls over you. Alexia knows you don’t feel the same way she does, but the longer Alexia spends within your presence, the better she feels. Alexia figures you’re the antidote to her pain—her heart cherishes every second of this brief encounter with you, her soul finally content that it’s finally within arm’s reach with the person it has been yearning for so much.

Thinking back to what Mapi said… How is Alexia supposed to find someone else? Because after you said that you need to go and she has to watch you leave, there is nothing more Alexia wants to do than to scream your name and beg you to stay.

[skipper1331]

Communication is key // Alexia Putellas

Without thinking, you called Alexia, feeling frustrated and disappointed about her behavior.

"Hello amor"

"Were you at the beach with the girls yesterday?"

Since weeks you had been asking if she wanted to hangout and go to be beach, just for some time away from football.

"Yes, why?" she replied, confused.

"I don’t want to fight, but I’m asking since 2 weeks if you want to go to the beach with me and you tell me you‘re busy each time and now you went out with the other girls? To the beach? Even though, you know I’ve been asking…You didn‘t ask if I wanted to join you guys" you said, upset about the fact that Alexia acted that way and that you got so carried away as to even bring it up.

"Eh- um…" the midfielder was silent for a moment, thinking about how to phrase it as kindly as possible "the problem is that Mapi has a problem with you and that’s why we decided as a group that you can‘t join. It wouldn’t end well"

"We‘re a friend group of 5 people…? If she has a problem she should talk to me privately."

The friends group consisted of Mapi, Ingrid, Frido, Ale and yourself.

"Yeah.."

"So, I’m no longer part of the group when Mapi is there? That‘s so nice, Alexia, thanks!" your voice was laced with sarcasm and anger.

Of all people, you at least thought Alexia would defend or support you - you were her girlfriend.

"What do you want to hear from me? The girls asked and I wanted to do something as a group so I went along. And if they exclude you, there's nothing I can do about it. Just chill out, we'll catch up on it at some point."

The betrayal and hurt you felt in that moment, was unreal - how could she say something like that? She was the person who had asked you out a dozens of times with puppy dog eyes. She was the one who begged for your kisses and love. And she was the one who wanted to spend every second of the day with you, no matter what plans either of you had.

Why was she acting so cold and rude now?

"You know what? If you want to hangout with me, then feel free to text me, but I won‘t be running after you, just to get rejected every time, even though you apparently have the time but just don't want to when it’s with me, your girlfriend! So, text me if you want to do something that isn’t having sex, otherwise we'll see each other in training."

With that you ended the call.

Did your friend group really decided that? It didn‘t seem to make any sense. And was even the problem with Mapi? The two of you were friends, never any problem between the two of you. But more importantly: what was the matter with Alexia? Why was she acting weird and distant? Have you done something wrong?

Normally, both of you were all over each other, holding hands, kissing in the storage room or even just an arm around your waist - spending almost 24/7 together. What was happening?

You declined every call that came in after, the caller id always the same.

reina 👑

amor, por favor.

call me back

lo siento

Caught up in your anger, you started to deep clean your apartment, not being bothered to call her back or even reply. The cleaning relaxed you but it also got you thinking. Was Alexia acting like this because she wanted to break up with you? Did she realize that you weren’t worth her time, attention and love? You always had a feeling that Alexia would break up with you at some point, many pretty girls in the world that would die to even just meet Alexia, let alone be loved by her.

That night you went to bed feeling very queasy and stressed - was she really about to break with you? She had texted you multiple times as she also had tried to call you but you didn’t answer.

The next day, you went to training acting as usually but with one exception - you avoided Ale and the rest of your friend group.

You did partner drills with Patri, talked in water breaks with Lucy and ate lunch with Aitana, Keira and Caro.

It was usual that you socialized with other people than your friend group but the unusual part was that Alexia didn‘t follow you around like a lost puppy. Instead she sent longing looks towards you, sad smiles displaying in her face when you dodged her glances as she tried to act tough and unbothered by your ignorance.

"What have you done?" a thick English accent asked the midfielder who was walking towards the changing room.

"Maybe I handled things a bit wrong" she explained, not wanting to reveal too much - a little bit scared of the Lucy Bronze as she had gotten the shovel talk from her when she started dating you.

'If you hurt her, I will haunt and hurt you' Lucy had told the Barcelona captain.

That day, Alexia promised Lucy and herself to never hurt you - not that she intended to anyways.

"You better make up with her otherwise I will have to hurt you" the defender smiled, entering the locker and walking to her cubby.

Alexia was quick to take a shower and get ready, waiting for you in front of the facility. She knew you hadn‘t left yet as you had entered the changing room when she came out of the shower.

She indeed wanted to make up with you, the whole situation a misunderstanding.

When you walked out of the facility, she called after you, "Amor, ¡esperar!" grabbing your hand, stopping you on your short journey to the car, "can we talk?" her voice was gentle and caring.

"Do you want to break up with me?" you asked straight forward, stepping back, trying to protect yourself with the distance yet you knew it wouldn’t help from a potential heart break.

"No no, amor, no. Let me pick you up at 7, okay? I‘ll explain everything"

You thought about it, unsure what to do.

"Okay"

It was Alexia after all, the person who was always honest. If she wanted to explain something, she would.

"Thank you, amor" she pressed a kiss to your cheek, walking you to your car, "be safe" she said as watched you, pull out of the parking lot, feeling so much better now that she had talked to you, even if it was just a few sentences - now that you had smiled at her.

-

5 minutes early, she rang your door bell, shuffling with her feet and fidgeting with her hands - she was nervous.

"Come in" you greeted her, "just need to put on my shoes then we can go"

The midfielder nodded, shyly entering your home as if she hadn‘t been here before.

"You look very beautiful, like always" she smiled, cheeks slowly turning red. Alexia felt like as if it was your first date all over again. She still remembered how shy and nervous she was, wanting to do everything perfect, so you‘d like her and she could ask you on another date. Also she had said the exact same thing when she picked you up for your first date.

"Reminds me of something" you chuckled, as well thinking back to the night where she had taken you out.

"Sí, you‘re getting prettier every day that hasn‘t changed"

Alexia thought you were the prettiest girl in the world, you took her breath away every time she saw you - you were absolutely stunning.

"charmer" you giggled, cheeks a dark shade of red. In that moment, everything felt like it used to be. She wasn‘t acting distant or weird, she was acting like the girl you fell in love with.

Everything is going to be okay.

"Amor, may I?" she asked politely, offering her arm as you had put on your shoes. Wordlessly, you linked your arms, walking towards her car. She opened the door for you, hurriedly rushing over to her side before she started the engine and rested her hand on your thigh. She was glad when you didn‘t push her off - you had missed her touch all day.

The two of you stayed in silence, your favourite songs playing as she drove to her destination. With every metre you got closer, she became more nervous and anxious. She knew she had some explaining to do but also was about to ask you an important question - which was the reason she even had to explain things. She wouldn‘t let a misunderstanding fuck things up with you. She wanted to marry you in the future - your relationship was very serious to her.

(Also she did not wanted to get haunted by a certain scary English defender.)

-

"Why are we at the beach?" you asked, the ocean right in front of you.

"Do you trust me?" the Barcelona player questioned, avoiding your question - she would explain in a moment, you just had to wait and trust her.

"I‘m not quite sure?" Ale raised an eyebrow, "fine, I trust you"

The girl smiled widely, stepping behind you and covering your eyes with her hands, "are you about to murder me?" you joked, knowing damn well that Alexia wouldn‘t dream of letting you fall or hurt yourself in any kind of way.

"Keep walking, amor"

-

After a short walk in the sand, the woman stopped, slowly revealing the sight in front of you.

There was a large picnic blanket, cushions and basket, wine and two glasses standing next to it - it looked romantic.

"Ale- what‘s all of this?" you asked confused, already emotionally touched by the gesture.

She sat down, making herself comfortable before she tapped between her legs, "come here"

Sitting in between her legs, staring towards the ocean and the beautiful sunset while she purred two glasses of wine.

"This is wow" you muttered, not yet leaning into her body as you were still moody at her but still admiring the work and view. It was indeed very romantic, rose petals and candles decorated everything around the two of you.

"I‘m sorry for avoiding you" Alexia started, loosely wrapping her free arm around your midsection, "i didn‘t mean to act weird. I was here with the girls to practice this- they helped me to set everything up and encouraged me for what I’m about to do. Ingrid decorated, Frido made the snacks and well, Mapi carried everything while I was freaking out at home because I didn’t know what to wear. I‘m sorry for letting you think i want to break with you or for acting weird, i was just really nervous these past weeks" she put her wine glass down in the sand, making sure it wouldn‘t fall before she pulled something out of her pocket, "I’m always nervous when I’m around you but this time it was different. I was scared of getting rejected and in return, I rejected you without even realizing."

Hidden in her hand, she gave you her little 'present' - a key.

"I would like you to move in with me." she breathed out, her heart racing.

You turned in her hold, looking at her with wide eyes.

"You‘re sleeping at my apartment almost every day and i can barely sleep without you being in my arms, so i thought maybe you would like stay at my place every night from now on" she rambled, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

The widest grin broke out on your face and you kissed her - you had been wanting to bring up the topic since awhile now, yet always feeling too shy to do so as you knew Alexia loved her personal space and alone time. You didn’t want her to feel pressured or to feel like she had to agree.

But now you’re even happier that the idea and suggestion came from her - she wanted this too - she was ready for the next step.

"I’d love to" you answered, kissing her rapidly as she giggled while you did so.

"I‘m glad" she sighed in relief, puckering her lips once again.

More kisses, please

You happily accepted the key.

The key wasn’t just any key, it symbolized that it was the key to her heart and home, that communication was the key to happiness, and that her nervousness couldn't always open all doors - which she had realized now;

Spending the whole at training without you was horrible. She never wanted to experience that again.

-

As your little picnic date continued (both of you back at being sickeningly in love with each other) the sun almost down completely, a question popped up in your head, "Mapi doesn’t have a problem with me, does she?"

A loud hearty laugh escaped your girlfriend, "no, amor, you‘re perfect. When you called me the girls were with me and I panicked and Mapi was signing something, so that‘s what came to my mind with her wild gestures. I‘m sorry if it sounded rude. Everybody loves you and you are very much a part of the group, my favourite member in fact"

Weirdly, you could imagine Mapi way too well and Alexia never lied to you. Added to that she was a horrible liar, her brows slightly raising when she lied or was trying to.

You believed and trusted her. It all made sense now - you remember how nervous she was when she asked you out on a date, you remember how nervous she was when she actually took you out, also how nervous she was when she asked the girlfriend question and how nervous she was just today.

You could only imagine how nervous she would be if she ever decided to ask you to be her wife.

Which Alexia definitely would do.

She would always be nervous around you, it‘s you - you‘re way too perfect for this world, so Ale had every right to be nervous every day anew - you were the key to all her happiness.

[hijackalx]

BG3 CHARACTERS REACTING TO BEING CALLED DADDY/MOMMY +18

characters included: karlach, astarion, halsin, gale, gortash

KARLACH

LOVES being called mama/mommy. probably suggests that you call her that before you can even bring it up

kind of plays into the caregiver role but only to an extent. it definitely feels like a character she shifts into. plays it VERY good though

usually something she reserves just for sex. if she calls herself mommy otherwise it’s probably in a nonsexual, playful manner (unless she’s teasing, which will be VERY obvious)

on the other hand…. if you call her mommy outside of sex….. she will be acting accordingly (your hole is getting obliterated promptly)

really, REALLY sweet when she goes into mommy mode 😭 like i don’t think could be a hard dom mommy if she tried. the two just don’t mix for her. consists of lots of praise and kisses and cooing

ASTARION

i’m sure he’s heard it before, but it’s different coming from you. he’s definitely taken aback at first. has to think about how he feels about it LMAO

makes him feel old af 😹😹 but he’s lowkey a sucker for an age gap dynamic so he has mixed feelings

eventually accepts how hot it is. once he sees you falling apart beneath him whimpering “daddy, daddy, daddy—“ his soul is SNATCHED !!!!!!!

loves to refer to himself as daddy to see your reaction— SO obsessed with the effect it has on you. he thinks it’s so sweet. will also use it to get you to do what he wants (using his powers for evil fr)

honestly wouldn’t have thought to introduce it to your relationship but he’s literally a natural. he already has the patronizing soft dom thing down so it flows pretty easily 😹💗

GORTASH

THE DADDY OF ALL TIME. DO NOT EVEN SPEAK TO HIM IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO BEGIN AND END EVERY SENTENCE WITH “DADDY”

refers to himself as daddy CONSTANTLY. will also do it outside of sex. literally a cringe discord daddy dom. but like. sexy. (will call you kitten)

HARD and MEAN daddy dom. can occasionally be sweet with it during aftercare though— “daddy’s so proud of you”

hearing you call him daddy makes him sooo weak. you can honestly get him to do anything for you if you whine “daddy” in a needy enough tone 😈 bonus points if you call him daddy in public. 100% wants everyone to know that you call him that

also super into the sugar daddy thing. loves to shower you in gifts and money. definitely a prominent dynamic in your relationship

GALE

legit stops him in his tracks. he’s like a deer in headlights. has no idea how to react LMAO

never considered himself daddy material before. he’s excited that you do though (he’s pumping his fist in the air and whispering “yesss” 😹😹) it’s a huge compliment for him

kind of awkward using it during sex at the beginning, he just doesn’t want to sound weird or anything. but if you encourage him he gets more confident with it and it’s so, so good

has such a good personality for it in terms of attentiveness/caring for you. plays daddy extremely well but he’d never admit it (still doesn’t believe he’s daddy material 😹)

gets SO flustered if you call him daddy in front of other people. even though he thinks it’s super hot he’d prefer for it to stay your little secret— it’s kind of sexier that way anyway

HALSIN

the most normal about being called daddy. doesn’t think it’s some huge deal or anything— he’s heard it before and it doesn’t phase him

integrates it into your sex life really smoothly (and into your everyday life if you want that). doesn’t care at all if people overhear and lowkey can embarrass you with how much he will readily refer to himself as that in public 😹😹 if you wanted him to wear a badge that said “[name]’s daddy” he would LMAO

always coming up with ways to get you to say it during sex, usually offering some kind of reward for it if you catch my drift 😼

the best at the caregiver role. does it so casually and it seems very normal for him. has such a good, soothing tone of voice for it too

the only downside is that it almost feels like he’s not as into it as you are. i mean he is but he’s so lax about it because he’s just like “kink is normal who cares !!” but like damn a little enthusiasm PLEASE

[harunayuuka2060]

MC: How's everything here, Mephisto?

Mephistopheles: *hands them a new pile of documents*

MC: ...

Mephistopheles: Those are from the House Of Lords. You might want to read them as soon as you return to whatever world you're staying at right now.

MC: Good. I don't want to ruin my mood this early in the morning.

MC: Anyway, any news about Solomon?

Mephistopheles: He's in the kitchen. Preparing breakfast for you.

MC: ...

MC: *stood up from their seat*

Mephistopheles: If you're leaving, take me with you-

Solomon: MC! *is wearing a pink apron over his clothes* *and carrying a pot of monstrous liquid*

Solomon: *smiles* Thank goodness! Where have you been? Oh! You should eat first!

MC and Mephistopheles: ...

MC: Let's set that aside for now, Solomon. *approaches him and snatches the pot from him and put it on the side*

MC: *gives him a hug* I missed you, Solomon.

Solomon: *chuckles* I missed you too.

Mephistopheles: *lets out a sigh of relief*

Solomon: You're saying you couldn't return to our world?

MC: *sigh* Yes. *has managed to convince to eat in a restaurant instead*

Solomon: Hmm... I see.

MC: What do you think is causing this, Solomon?

Solomon: Let's see. Didn't you enter a weird contract?

MC: That's more of your doing.

Solomon: Haha! Right! But you're as curious as I am.

MC: No. I don't remember ever doing that. At least.

Solomon: *chuckles* Are you sure?

MC: ...

MC: Okay, fine. But I don't remember doing that before my disappearance.

Solomon: Hmm... If it wasn't an impulse decision then... Could it be our human world is disowning you?

MC: ...

MC: That's the best explanation you can come up with?

Solomon: *laughs* Look at you getting pissed. I'm just kidding.

MC: Hmph. I came here to take you to Twisted Wonderland, but I've changed my mind.

Solomon: Aww come on~. Are you really going to leave me? On my own?

MC: ...

MC: No. Of course not. As if I can do that.

Solomon: Teehee. I love you~.

MC: *chuckles* What the hell?

Lucifer: Welcome home, MC. And it seems you have brought Solomon with you.

Solomon: Hi!

Asmo: Solomon~!!! *runs to pounce on him*

The housewardens: *who are in the living room together with the brothers* ...

MC: Asmo, we have guests.

Asmo: Hm~? Darling~ I think your besties don't count as guests anymore when they're here almost everyday~.

Solomon: Asmo, please let go. I don't like being on the floor.

Asmo: Do you like to be in my bed then~?

Vil: Ew. *covering Kalim's eyes*

Malleus: *doing the same with Riddle*

Lucifer: *unamused* Anyway, MC. What's with those documents?

MC: Oh. Mephisto gave them to me. From the House of Lords.

Lucifer: Hm? They have new requests for Diavolo?

MC: I haven't read them yet, so I don't know.

Lucifer: Let me see. *reads one of the documents*

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: *raises an eyebrow*

MC: What does it say?

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: These are necessary steps and documentation in turning you into a noble.

MC: ...

MC: What?

Diavolo: Pardon? Will you repeat that, Lucifer? *has just arrived together with Barbatos after they have gone fishing*

Lucifer: The House Of Lords want to turn MC into a noble.

Diavolo: ...

Diavolo: I knew it! Haha! They would listen to me!

MC: *looking at the pile of documents they brought*

MC: ...

MC: Can't they have made it a bit simpler?

Leona: Heh. Looks like they're not willing to do it.

Kalim: If MC becomes a noble, does that mean Malleus can be their lover too?

Diavolo, Barbatos, the brothers, and Solomon: ...

Malleus: ..........

Malleus: AL ASIM.

Barbatos: *chuckles* No offense. However, it's for the benefit of the young master.

Solomon: Geez, MC. You have a lover here too?

MC: Malleus is my friend.

Asmo: And so were Levi and Mammon until they had admitted that they have romantic feelings with you~.

Levi: H-Hey! Wh-Why are you telling everyone that?!

Mammon: Y-Yeah! And it was MC who confessed to me, you idiot!

Satan: It's "they confessed to Us". Stop owning it every single time, Mammon.

MC: Thank you, Satan. But what you said was right too, Mammon.

Idia: Looks like you'll be extremely busy.

MC: Huh? Why?

Azul: Congratulations! You have become a teacher!

MC: ...

MC: What?

[httpswritings]

@alexiaps94 has liked your profile — Alexia Putellas x Reader

Word count: around 648

Warnings: none

Summary: You and Alexia match on an exclusive dating app.

“@alexiaps94 has liked your profile”

That was first notification you saw when you first checked your phone in the morning, still half asleep.

Some days ago, you signed up on Like.ly, an app similar to Tinder but extremely exclusive. The app was directed to wealthy people and reputed celebrities. You had to e-mail the company and wait if they accepted you on the company. If you were, you had to go through an interview where they'll ask you all types of questions, as the company itself would look for some potential matches to get you started. They did not succeed to your liking. They matched you with all sort of celebrities, but nobody properly caught your eye. 

You weren't a football fan, but you knew who Alexia was because of the expectation she woke up when she won her second Ballon D'Or and when Spain won the World Cup, as the press talked non-stop about the different problems with the federation, especially about the incident during the final. 

You clicked on her profile. Her profile pic was a picture with her dog, Nala. She had more pictures uploaded; you could see her with her family, her friends, her team and by herself. You scrolled down to the “About Me” paragraph.

“Hi! My name is Alexia. I like playing football, spending time with my family and learning new things. 😃”

“Cute”, you thought. You hesitated about what your next move should be. You liked her profile but decided to not write her yet. 

“Hi. I saw your profile some days ago and you seem lovely. I'd love to hear from you”. You hated the way you wrote that text. “Y/N, you want to get to know her as a friend, maybe as something more, this is not a business meeting”, you said to yourself. Your text was fine, you were only overreacting. If you knew they way Alexia reacted to your text, you'd feel more than accomplished with yourself.

“Hi, Y/N. Thank you! You seem really lovely too. I'm seeing that you have four cats! Wow, that's some good company. I think a get along better with dogs because I've been around them my whole life, but the cat life sounds fun too. 😸”

You chuckled as you read her message. “She's indeed very lovely”, you thought. 

“Yeah, so damn crazy, but it's quite fun😸😹” You had never used those emojis. Weird. Adorable but weird.

As you kept talking during the week with Alexia, you got to know her better. She told you about the passing of her dog, Nala, and how bad that affected her. You told each other about your life: family, friends, place of work. She even taught you a little bit of football, and you were so entertained you couldn't quite believe it, as you never showed any interested in football except for some random matches of the men's world cup. You started to educate yourself in women's football.

“Can I call you?”, was the message you received from her on a Saturday night. You had spent the whole day rotting on your sofa and talking to Alexia until your eyes started to feel really heavy. As she called you, and you responded, you started to breath uncontrollably rapid but at the same time, you felt so comfortable listening to her. Alexia's voice was soft, and her laugh sounded so delicate, you felt butterflies in your stomach every time you made her laugh.

“It was nice talking to you, Ale, but we both need some rest, especially you. You have training tomorrow.”

“... I liked hearing you calling me Ale”

“I like hearing you, Ale.”

“God, are you always this flirty?”

“Not in person. I'll have to be a little bit tougher when I'll have you in front of me.”

“No, don't be. I'm pretty sure I'd love the timid version of you. I can't wait to see it.”

[muffinpink02]

I don’t want to rush you at all! But I’m so excited for she’s a bully on your WIPs, throwback pics of Alexia in her brunette era…

I was too, but I'v kind of falling out of love with it. I think cos I'm worried about the age thing, its school but their 18, can you guys let me know? I can make it college. This is the only thing I've written for it, so if I never get round to it you can at least have this. Also I made her blonde, but as its younger her I can change it to brunette for the future, if I ever finish it.

Smut 18

You rush down the empty hallway, you can’t believe you’ve actually been given detention. You never got detention.

It wasn’t even your fault! But of course Mrs Green didn’t want to hear your reasoning, she saw what she thought she saw, not caring about the story behind it. You never did feel like she liked you much. 

You passed the grey lockers, eyeing the banners for the upcoming school dance, not that you cared, you won’t be going anyways. You’ll say it’s out of protest but really no one will ask you.

You quickly race down the creaky stairs, finally on the floor of the detention room. It’s weird for you to be here, especially when it's empty, this side of the school always gave you the creeps. Maybe because it was the older section, the hallways were smaller, the paint was peeling off the walls, even the smell was weird. 

You glance at your watch, luckily you’re not late, Mrs Green would have had a field day with doubling the already 20 minute detention. You’re about to turn the corner when you hear a faint cry.

You stop dead in your tracks, what was that? You take a second to listen, but there’s nothing. It's silent. You shake your head, you must be hearing things. You go to continue your journey. Wait! There it is again! You stand still, listening carefully, the crying sound continues, it’s definitely a girl. 

The cry gets louder as you look around the corridor of rooms, then you hear it again, it starts to sound more like a moan. It sounds weird, you hear it again, it sounds like someone’s crying but it’s muffled and sounds, well, it sounds like sex.

“No fucking way.” You whisper to yourself. 

You take another look around the empty corridor as your curiosity takes over, you find yourself tiptoeing towards the sound, not really thinking about what you're doing. The sounds of crying definitely aren’t what you thought, it's a mess of moaning and panting, the cries turn into whimpers, just from the sound alone you feel your face heating up. 

You take a peek through the small glass window, you can see a girl on her back on the desk, her long dark hair hanging off the side. Your eyes pop open. Her legs are open, you can see someone’s kneeling between them, clearly eating her out. It sends a jolt to your clit. You’ve completely forgotten about your detention. You can see someone’s between her legs but you can’t see either of their faces.

You feel bad watching but you can’t bring your eyes away. It’s when the dark-haired girl moves her head, you realise It’s Stacey, the girl who makes every day a misery for you. Suddenly the whole scene makes you uncomfortable and not at all hot. She’s probably being fucked by one of the rugby boys, at least he’s breaking the stereotypes and is actually eating her out.

That’s until you see a blonde ponytail, it’s not a boy, it’s a girl eating her out. Your jaw drops open, you watch as the blonde's head is bobbing up and down, Stacey’s hand clutches to her hair. You feel a wave rush to your core, your heart starts to race a little.

“Fuck, Ale.”

What? Surely not?

Then you see her, Alexia’s head rises from between her legs, you can see her face is wet. You’re glued to your feet as you watch Alexia wipe her mouth with the back of her hand like she’s done this a thousand times, you almost forget you’re not watching a porn video but two real people. You can feel your own breathing getting heavy as you watch on, your knickers are becoming slightly wet.

But you can’t look away, though you should have. Hazel eyes catch your own. You feel your heart catch in your throat, you want to move but you can’t, and Alexia doesn’t show any signs of stopping.

Fuck.

The girl is staring right at you, you need to leave, you should stop but you can’t It’s like she has a spell on you.

Stacey moans, unhappy Alexia's stopped. The blonde doesn’t even glance at the girl she’s pleasuring, her eyes are on you as she brings her fingers to Stacey and plunges her fingers deep inside the girl. Stacey lets out a deep moan, her back arches off the table. You would be shocked at the sheer lack of care they have, but you can’t bring yourself to care.

Alexia sends you a smirk as her fingers start to push in and out of Stacey. Your eyes are still on each other, you can feel your hands getting clammy. The girl moans are getting louder, Alexia finally glances at her. She grabs Stacies tie and pushes it into her mouth, making the girl muffle her moans. Alexia brings her eyes back to you, she smirks again as she lowers her head back between the girl's legs all while her eyes are on you.

[iheartmapi]

heyyy,

can you write alexia x reader angst if youre ok with it?

like them having a pretty harsh argument (because of what ever reason, you decide) and saying the meanest things to eachothet. Even though the argument startet soft, it ended with alexia saying stuff like: „the team is even successful without you we dont actually need you!“whilst r is trying to recover from an bad injury or „sometimes you truly are pathetic you know“ or maybe „can you shut tf up!? Is it possible seeing you and not getting annoyed of you for once?!“ or „no wonder you failed/lost/couldnt achieve/dont/ cant do this or that etc.. (the phrases are related to reader’s insecurities) alexia ends up going for a walk but when she returns r already put alexias bed stuff on the Couch and wont let her in the bedroom. After 1-2 days of not talking and ale trying to apologize, r comes up to her ( now even more insecure) happy but fearful ending pls make it as angsty as you possibly can. i hope it’s understood cause english isnt my first language:)

(I’ll try my best!!! Also don’t worry cause you wrote it perfectly and English isn’t my first language either so I get it)

Teddy bear

(Yes I listened to Melanie Martinez’s teddy bear when writing this)

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Summary: Alexia doesn’t always watch her words, and she sure as hell doesn’t during the most intense argument the two of you had ever.

Angst with a happy-ish ending.

TW: slightly toxic, degrading thoughts about one self, crude language,

Word count: 1,925

15:00pm

The hour Alexia returned home after being away with the team for matches, she ran a hand through her blonde hair..Alexia loved her profession but it was still a very tiring one, all she was dreaming of in the moment was a nice warm bath to soothe her sore muscles and a good night’s sleep..

She dragged her feet through the front door and dropped her bags in the foyer and went ahead to the living room.

Upon entering Alexia’s eyes landed on you, you were relaxing on the couch with a random book by some bestseller author which really could be anyone, but you didn’t really care…you didn’t have much to do due to being prescribed to stay home to heal from a recent injury on the pitch. Lately you’ve been apprehensive and often worried all because of your injury and inability to play.

You looked up from your cheap book.

“Hi”

“Hey”

The exchange of words between the two of you was short and awkward, this weird tension appeared in the house and between you two before Alexia’s trip, its genesis wasn’t really clear to her..but she figured it was all a part of your hyper-sensitivity from the injury and would pass quickly anyways.

Alexia passed you and went to the kitchen to fetch herself a drink, she gulped some down, taking in the taste of being back home before returning to the living room, the silence went on, but you weren’t focused on your book anymore, though you pretended to be, secretly you were eyeing her every move, from when she walked into the living room to now as she was standing by the window looking outside.

You gulped, “Alexia?”

“Yeah?”

“Listen I-“ you rethought that “We…have something to talk about” the knots in your stomach were multiplying from stress each minute, Alexia was looking at you, the intensity of her gaze wasn’t helping you out.

“It’s about this specific..behaviour of yours” You started “I think you’re- um..I…” What were you supposed to say? You rehearsed this so many times before she came back yet now you felt as if you were on fire and your memory was gone. “I think sometimes you’re too touchy with others” you finally choked it out.

Alexia looked at you with an almost judging look “As in?” She stated sharply, “I mean like..we’re girlfriends you know? And I don’t want to forbid you from hugging others and stuff but sometimes you act so..intensely affectionate, like with Ona-“ Alexia immediately butted in “Are you being serious right now?” She belted at you “For fucks sake Y/n…you think I’m cheating on you with the whole team just because I hug them or something?” You feared this exact reaction from her “I didn’t say that…” You murmured “You kind of did though, I just got back and this is the greeting I get? Can’t you ever knock it down a notch?” She started ranting “You’re so melodramatic, as always” she scoffed.

“I’m not being melodramatic” you said, you felt weak against Alexia but you couldn’t just let her walk over you like this in this argument. “So it’s wrong of me to be afraid of my own damn girlfriend being so touchy with everyone?” You protested “It’s always like this, I’m the bad guy and you’re the victim”

Alexia took a deep breath, you swear you could detect the anger forming inside her pupils, then she opened her mouth, and yelled at you.

“Can you shut the fuck up?! Is it possible, seeing you and not getting annoyed of you for once?!” She scowled, you opened your mouth wanting to protect yourself, or calm her down, just say anything, but hell…it’s like every word ran away from you.

“See? You can’t even form a sentence, cause you know that you’re spitting straight bullshit” Alexia rolled her eyes “Sometimes you truly are pathetic you know”

Wow. Your eyes widened and you closed your mouth, not believing the clear poison coming out of your girlfriend’s lips. “I wanted you to get over this whole injury thing, wanted to try and make you happy, but you can’t do anything besides being stingy all the time. But you know what?” She waited a minute before adding “You’re stingy even without the goddamn injury, the team is successful, even without you! I hope you know we don’t actually need you?!” tears prickled at your eyes, begging to be let out, you couldn’t handle it, and they started running down your cheeks.

“Here you go now! Crying like a fucking baby, I’m not putting up with you right now” she barked before turning from you and heading out of the living room.

You sat still in your place like you were frozen, and truly you were, by the coldness Alexia just showed you, you heard her yelling “I’m going for a walk!” Before the front door swung shut. And then it came, you started crying, the tears marching down your cheeks and reaching your neck like a furious army, maybe she was right? She always was wasn’t she? Now you regretted ever mentioning that, but you acted stupid and brought up something that didn’t matter at all, now here you were, crying all alone like a big baby.

You stood up, your legs were shaking, in fact every inch of your body was, you stumbled towards the bedroom, feeling stupid but also cheated, the closet doors opened hastily and your shaky hands reached for every piece that belonged to Alexia, you took her bags from the foyer and threw everything inside…were you in an irrational state of mind? Yeah, probably…

Now everything of hers was in the bag, you glanced at the nightstand, seeing the framed picture of you two, kissing, but you couldn’t stand to see that happy memory right now. The frame was put down so that the photo couldn’t be seen by you and then you took the bags and simply threw them onto the couch, leaving them there for Alexia to see when she gets back. Now you didn’t really know what to do with yourself, finally you slumped on the bed like a picture of misery, left alone with your thoughts only.

Alexia knew she couldn’t stay outside all day even though you irritated her to the core, she just couldn’t understand why you were being so irrational…always acting so difficult, she thought to herself, she stomped down the street, already seeing the peak of the neighbourhood the two of you lived in, dreading seeing you again.

It was kinda weird, she started thinking about it deeply, she loved you, but at the same time you were such a big pain in the ass literally everyday..if only you wanted to cooperate and listen to her more most of your arguments wouldn’t even happen in the first place, you should know that she wasn’t your property, instead of being so damn jealous and giving her your attitude.

The house keys clicked in place and turned the locks to your home, though the home was literally a quiet battlefield lately. She sighed as her feet made contact with the familiar flooring. It was quiet, you were probably sulking in some corner and just didn’t want to greet her or make up for your stupid behaviour, always acting like a child afterwards such moments in your relationship.

The shock she felt when she entered the living room and was met with the sight of her bags atop the couch was immense. For a moment Alexia just started at them in disbelief before rage filled her again, she sauntered over to the bags observing them resentfully, where the hell were you? Cause she wasn’t going to let this go.

Kitchen, bathroom, small storage, balcony, backyard, nowhere. You were nowhere, but there was one place she hadn’t checked, the bedroom. There was no fucking way you just packed her bags and left the house, so you had to be there…

Firmly, her hand grasped the handle of the door, expecting to see you inside, acting like a saint..but the moment she turned it, it didn’t open, it was locked. So you were inside! Alexia angrily turned the handle a couple times more before knocking on the door. “Y/n?” She stated loudly, her tone was very passive aggressive, no answer. Then she just went ballistic and pounded on the door “Y/n! Let me in, god damn it!” Alexia didn’t stop until she heard your much quieter and shaky voice calling to her beyond the door. “I-I’m not letting you in Alexia!” You stated, “What?!” Her brows furrowed before she groaned in fury “This relationship is a fucking joke!” And then she stormed off.

You curled on the bed, thinking about what you’ve done, was this the correct way of handling things? Hell, you wished you knew, but nothing made sense to you now.

Two days, that’s how much time has passed since that ugly argument of yours, you eventually unlocked the bedroom and went out to see Alexia’s face filled with annoyance but she tried to talk to you once she saw you, weirdly calm for the emotions that were pulsating inside her, and in fact, she was the one trying to calm things down between you two, but you felt dumb and were too much of a coward to just accept it, the tension in the ENTIRE house was poisoning…and when you didn’t budge with Alexia’s apologies you two just stopped talking to each other

The insecure thoughts took root in your brain, eventually branching into a full tree with anxious and insecure fruits hanging from its twigs. After all, Alexia was always right about you.

The whole week couldn’t just go on like this. You took the tiny pieces of courage left in you and took them to use them to apologise to her, you kinda treated her like shit..and all for nothing, you did hug your teammates too after all…teammates, friends, family, people just have different ways of showing it.

On the morning of what was supposed to be the third day you finally spoke to Alexia

“Ale…I- I’m just so fucking sorry, okay? That was so stupid of me, I dunno..I guess it was in the heat of the moment- the thing is I love you, I don’t want to lose you. I was an idiot, if you don’t want to then fine, don’t accept this shitty apology but I’m begging you..” by the end of your apology tears were streaming down your cheeks again, as lately you have been crying often when Alexia had no way of seeing you.

You could see the gears turning in her head, trying to decide whether she was going to accept or refuse, she narrowed her eyes at you “Yeah, you were an idiot” then she added “But I guess I’m glad you can see that now, listen I just…” the blonde sighed “Please stop pulling shit like that, sometimes you really are too sensitive” she reprimanded you softly, it felt weird listening to this harsh “truth” about yourself, even weirder knowing that those air quotes weren’t needed because it was the most pristine truth. Then Alexia looked at you with an unsure manner, “I love you too, ok?” She then said, and you nodded, after that she turned to steal a glance at the morning sky.

You sighed to yourself, appreciating the so long awaited moment of calmness.

You should remember to listen to her at all times, even if it hurt slightly.

[bluexiao]

#his secret lover 

— just a series where you are their secret lover… but you didn’t know because you weren’t from teyvat after all! (until you have memories of him and you every time you two touch) 

CHARACTERS. self aware! Isekai! gn! Reader; Al-Haitham, Heizou, Tighnari, Scaramouche / Wanderer

THEMES. light sagau (self aware genshin au), isekai, fluff/crack, questionable but real established relationship, suggestive (light and in a few of them…), domestic (kind of inspired by several manhwas lmao), light angst on Tighnari’s?? 

NOTES. I planned for this to be a series so yep if there is anyone else you want me to cover, just hmu. 

SCARAMOUCHE / WANDERER

You have to give him all the props, he had hidden you quite well. 

Even as he was a Fatui Harbinger of a high enough ranking–for others, he was able to keep your identity a secret. Thus, the moment you opened your eyes and found yourself in the land of Teyvat without even knowing, you didn’t know about this. 

Being transported to Inazuma was one thing that did take you a whileto notice until you came face to face with the tracks to Mt. Yougou and officially got to know a Yae Miko–an individual everyone seemed to have great respect for and the fox ears and tail were ones you have never seen in a person ever–at least not one that looked so real and looked exactly like a character in a game you’ve played in! 

What Yae Miko and you talked about came in a blur because you were too much in your head, thinking about how everything suddenly made sense but didn’t at the same time. Yet you did uncover something in your identity in such a small conversation–it was that she knew you. Very well, that is. You felt that it was weird for her to suddenly come up and talk to you all of a sudden, all the more when she asked how you and your lover were–you almost let out a “Who in the world is my lover-Wait, I have one?!” but you managed to shut yourself up and said that you two were doing alright. Biggest mistake of your life. 

The moment you saw Scaramouche, you didn’t even recognize him. He wore such different clothes that you barely had the time to stare and get a grip, not until he was right in front of you–actually, he marched right in front of you. 

“Wash that stupid look on your face, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

For a moment, you were dumbfounded over the fact that he looked exactly like Scaramouche but not at all–was it the clothes? Or was it the soft look on his face that he kept on for a few seconds until he wipes it off—and you didn’t even have much time to respond before he adds on. 

“And that fox is acting weirdly, did you say anything to her? Don’t tell me you slipped up and told her that you’re seeing me,” he sends you a look and your mind goes in spirals all the more. 

You’re seeing who now?! 

Seeing as you haven’t answered him yet and you were merely staring at him, this time, a different expression comes across his face, disappearing as fast as it had appeared. 

“What in the world has gotten into you?” his voice turns softer this time, “is something wrong?” 

He will actually end up pulling you aside and interrogating you for what had happened. That is! Until you remembered everything! The moment he held your hand, every single memory you have had with him came rushing in and you became dizzy that he will suddenly decide to just take you home. 

You now came to recall everything that had occurred and everything fell into place, only now, you had memories of your memories in your real life–or was it really real??—back on Earth whilst having memories of your life in Teyvat. You remember receiving secret letters from Scaramouche and hearing all about his plans, and it momentarily stopped only to receive one yesterday, stating that he would come back home finally. 

You still weren’t sure if you would tell him this is a game… but what is the use though? You haven’t gone through this timeline as well…

“Kuni… I lived two lives.” For some reason, it didn’t sit well for you to keep anything from him–it seems so wrong, so…weird. A month ago, he was just a character in a game you were playing for quite some time and now, he was here, right in front of you. 

His lips were on your cheek as he takes a breath and the air hits your skin, tickling you ever so slightly. 

“Is that so?” you couldn’t tell if he was taking you seriously or not, even more so when you felt him encircle his hands on your waist and pull you closer to his face, where you could meet his eyes that narrowed and the corners of his lips quirk up, “then have you kissed someone else in your other life? Other than me?” 

You heard the slight pause in between his questions and felt him lean closer to you. “Do they kiss you as good as I do?” 

Actually, he meant to ask if you loved someone else other than him or not, but no, he can’t let you think of someone else when you have him right beside you. And besides… if you had another life, then that means he has nothing to worry about in this life… right? 

That thought haunts him every night. 

AL-HAITHAM

Being in a relationship with The Scribe is a big thing already. And all the more so with a person like him. 

After all, it is not so much of a secret that he does bear a good appearance, albeit his personality, he was someone who was particularly popular to ladies and men alike. Maybe for different reasons but most were the same. 

For you, one look at him and you could tell that everyone was right–he really was attractive, but no one would have the guts to come near him with his presence alone. You were only getting used to being transported into this world when you came across the Akademiya and he so suddenly passed by you. You couldn’t stop yourself from admitting that eye contact with him sent shivers down your spine and made you momentarily freeze in place. Even more so when he oh-so conveniently greeted you with a small smirk. 

“Good morning, Y/n,” it was a ghost of a smile–it almost seemed like it was just a sight only for you. 

Only, it was the truth, and you found out about it when you opened the door to your “home” and saw the face of the person that almost made you have a heart attack just moments ago. 

“Oh-I mean, hi! Uhm-” you struggled to formulate anything else from your mouth that you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. You wanted to ask him why he was at your door when he chuckled right at you. When you openly stared at him, however, you could see his brow suddenly raise in confusion. 

“Y/n… as far as I like the attention and seeing your flustered face, I am not that much interested in holding a staring contest against you at the door to our home,” he clearly was caught off guard as he clears his throat and looks away, “your home… pardon me for forgetting.” 

He will definitely feel like something had happened to make you act quite weirdly, but he would not come up with a conclusion so suddenly, however, as he is beginning to gather up his observations, you eventually return back to “normal”, where you don’t freeze up whenever he shows up in front of you, or whenever he tries to lean in for a kiss, or any other physical intimacy that you seem to stutter about. 

Actually, for him, it did feel like you were back in your past self–easily getting flustered or embarrassed. For you, though, the memories that the “Teyvat You” had accumulated slowly but surely came to you each day you spent with Al-Haitham, almost too calculative that you felt like everything that had happened seemed to be much more real than the “Earth You”. 

And because of this, you begin to open up to your lover about your experience and decided to ask for his opinion. With all the time you had spent with him, you became much more comfortable with having to talk to him without stuttering and enough for you to tell the truth of your identity–but not enough to tell him that this world is merely inside a game. Fortunately, he would not be able to figure this out as this is something very unpresidential. 

“Are you saying that another soul… but it’s still you… entered this body, and now you have memories of you here, as well as you back in your world,” he did not seem to end it in a question, more like a demand for you to tell him more or for you to explain it to him clearly without having a hard time to do so yourself–he could not really blame you… it is not such a “normal” occurrence that even he wouldn’t be able to explain himself if it had happened to him, not that he would be as inaccurate as you are. 

He does try to help you uncover the truth and adjust well! After all, he is quite thirsty for knowledge (as much as you were to hi-) and there would be no things left unturned, especially considering that it was about you. 

He does find it odd whenever you do a couple of things that you did not use to do—such as say a couple of words that are not in Teyvat’s vocabulary, from what he knows of—but he eventually grows accustomed to them, just as quick as you become accustomed to this “new life”—or it wasn’t really. 

He does ask you a couple of questions (a LOT) about how your life was in the other world. You tell him of all the technologies and inventions you came to know and well you should not be that much surprised if he ends up covering them for his research or whatever. So do make sure to keep some of that knowledge to yourself! 

TIGHNARI

The moment you wake, you found yourself lying in the middle of the forest, all alone, yet surrounded by mushrooms that you knew for sure you had never seen before. 

They had brighter shades, compared to the ones you normally eat, which means-

“Are they poisonous? Or worse…” you mutter to yourself, horrified as you look at each of the mushrooms. Then everything turns black. 

When you wake again, you were greeted by a different view–a hut, precisely… or it seems like it. You had a familiar feeling set in once you looked around you, however, but as soon as you heard the slightest bit of movement, you instinctively closed your eyes, pretending to be asleep. 

“No point trying to act like you’re still unconscious, Y/n, you may open your eyes.” 

The voice—it felt too familiar that even if you wanted to pretend a little bit more, you couldn’t help but be curious–why was it even familiar when-

Your jaw fell and your mouth hang open as soon as you came face to face with him–a man with long ears (fox ears? What are they-A fennec? Why does he look like… someone…) and his sense of fashion being… quite an eh- 

“Huh? What is it? Is there something on my face?” 

Now that you had heard his voice again, you came to realize that he does sound like the same person he looks very much alike to–Tighnari from that game you’ve played. 

What in the- 

“I must be dreaming right now, aren’t I?”

He sends a look at you and with crossed arms, says, “If you were, I can say I’m quite flattered to have you dream about me, but you are not dreaming so my gratitude is rather useless.” 

And as he casually tries to check your temperature and your vitals, his touch makes you jump with a sudden “memory” that you two apparently had… of the times he took care of you after you appear to have been either injured or came across some weird mushrooms–which also seems to be the case this time around. 

“What is it? Did it hurt when I touched you?” He does notice this and does not hesitate to ask you, but with all that was happening, you failed to notice the concerned look in his eyes but it did not stop the pressure that was building in your chest—so you lied. “No… I’m fine, just a bit jumpy… ‘s all.” 

He may raise a brow at this but he brushes it off, and in the end, you might not be able to say the truth to him because… well, you didn’t have a chance! Every time you try to do so, it’s either he holds your hand or you hold his and a memory pops up and everything in your plan gets messed up! 

He’s sort of a physical lover. You wouldn’t be able to believe it either, especially since you didn’t really know much about him until you came here and realized that it actually makes a lot of sense for him to be so. 

He initiates a lot of it too! So much so that whenever you feel his tail wrap around your arm or your waist or him trying to request of you to pet his ears… you feel a little guilty somehow. 

In the end, you were keeping something from him… and you still haven’t told it yet. 

HEIZOU

You had just woken up and minutes later, you were stuck in a rather… awkward conversation. 

“Are you saying… I’m in Teyvat?! And you’re Heizou?!” 

The boy in front of you has a furrowed brow as he crosses his arms over your chest, “Hm? Where else should you be except for here? Right beside me?” he grins at the momentary victory of having to come up with a way to try and fluster you, but apparently, this time, it wasn’t working. 

He, above most of the others, would figure it out immediately–well, not the entire story, no. He will be able to deduce that you must hae forgotten a piece or two (or maybe even all) of your memory and in turn, makes you very confused as to where you were and who is he–I mean, how could you even forget who he is? He courted you for so long and now he will have to go through that all over again? 

You don’t remember everything as fast as his interrogation skills, however, and he will begin to question you before you even get to have your “memories” back, and when you do, you were already finished telling him of your life back in Earth and it seems you might have slipped that Teyvat is inside a game called Genshin Impact, which is how Heizou came into the conclusion of the truth. 

You really wouldn’t be able to hide anything from this man because he knows his way around interrogation that even if you try to lie, it will only be for your demise. Well, it does seem like he wasn’t taking you seriously, but hey, at least he wasn’t being awkward about it now… or maybe he’s just REALLY not taking you seriously. 

Anyway, it was a kiss that eventually makes you remember—not everything, but at least something. 

“This is not gonna do… you act, speak, and look exactly like Y/n, and yet-“

“But my name is really Y/n! And… I think I remember something.” 

“So you were able to recall something after our lips touched,” he brings a hand on his chin, contemplating, as you feel your face heat up. 

“If you put it that way…” 

“Then should we do it more? Kissing, I mean.” 

“Sure, I-wait… what?”

comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!<3

taglist on the reblogs!

[eggcats]

Headcanon that Alastor only knows how to show affection in ways HE would find acceptable to receive it. And yes, this DOES include random dead deer carcasses and the occasional sinner, but more importantly it affects how he interacts with others.

Because, other than Mimzy, who fairly explicitly tells him to fight her battles for her, most of his friends and acquaintances are powerful enough that joining a fight on their behalf would be an insult. Because HE would be insulted if someone did that to him, so he doesn't do it to those he likes and respects.

And as such, when he sees someone he cares about fighting he will watch and observe to only enter the battle if absolutely necessary - to do anything else would be to imply that they are weak and in need of protection. He respects them enough to let them win their own battles.

However, when he and Angel start becoming closer, this REALLY confuses Angel. He thought they were sorta-kinda friends, but Alastor REFUSES to help him even a little when he gets caught up in a turf war.

Alastor just observes from the fringes and doesn't do a THING to help Angel, and it's slowly driving him mad. Because the second the battle is over, Alastor will act just like before, but during it? He seems like he doesn't know who Angel is. It's kind of offensive, really. But he doesn't say anything because maybe HE'S misinterpreting their friendship here, and is looking into their interactions more than they are because he likes Alastor. It kind of hurts, but this is Hell, so what doesn't?

Until one day, when Alastor sees some random sinner attempt to drug Angel to force a victory. And suddenly, Alastor reminds everyone why they should fear the Radio Demon - because how DARE they be so weak as to insult Angel in such a way rather than simply respectfully dying.

And Angel is CONFUSED. He's like, "What the FUCK was that, Smiles?!" And is even more confused when Alastor APOLOGIZES and shows Angel the syringe as his reasoning for joining the fight.

Angel is so lost that for the first time, he brings up Alastor's weird behavior to Husk while he's drinking. And Angel is even MORE lost when Husk simply goes, "Ah, that makes sense."

A: "WHAT makes sense 'cuz I don' get why he'd choose NOW to help me!"

H: "Al is an Overlord, and most of his friends are other or former Overlords. How'd you think he'd take it if someone fought to defend him in a fight if he didn't need it?"

A: "What's that got to do wit' anything?"

H: "Al's treating you with the same respect he'd expect to have. He thinks you're upset at him for HELPING, not for taking this long to do so. He thinks he's insulted you by implying you're weak and in need of defending."

Suddenly, Angel is reevaluating every time he's noticed Alastor watching the fight from the sidelines, but not moving an inch to help him. It's kind of flattering that he thinks Angel is so capable of handling himself, but also wanted to stay in case something happened? That. That kind of says a lot to how Alastor sees him, doesn't it? If he's treating him like Angel is just as worthy as respect as Alastor's other friends? And the fact that he only joined the fight when someone tried to force him to lose unfairly?

Angel realizes he needs to talk to Alastor and clear up this misunderstanding, because suddenly it doesn't seem so ridiculous that Alastor might care for him and Angel just hasn't been able to read the signs correctly.

[luc1dvisual]

I JUST CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU - lucid dream (aespa

AESPA OT4 AS LOVE LANGUAGES (giving)

Karina - Words of Affirmation

she can do all the love languages but the strongest one is words of affirmation

bro got the biggest praise kink no joke

she loves to see you act shy about the compliments she gives you

In public, she would compliment about superficial things like your hair and the way you dressed

At worst, she would have suggestive undertones to it and give a small smirk

But in private… girl cannot stop talking

She acts introverted when you guys first meet but now she can’t stop talking

She can’t stop telling you how much she loves you and how much you mean to her

It’s so important to her that you know how loved and how amazing you are

especially if you guys started as friends/groupmate omg

you wouldn’t notice but her compliments would get more frequent/more heart-felt as her crush got bigger

at first, the members were a bit jealous but then they realised why.. which made them tease you everytime she would compliment you with a deeper meaning

Giselle - Gift-Giving

She isn’t the best with her words so the best she can do is giving you expensive gifts

That idol money being put to work but she couldn’t think of any other way she would want to spend it more than on you

her favourite things to give are your favourite food or even your favourite perfume

she starts to even eat that certain food more/knows when she smells that perfume, your near

she stalks your social media to find out what you like and goes on a wild chase trying to buy it, no matter the cost

if you started as her friend/groupmate, everyone would be so confused on why you were walking around with a diamond necklace randomly

she would also get matching jewelry as well to signal you were hers

Winter - Physical Touch

winter is not too good with her words either but her body language is more telling

it’s not just physically touching you but she would also do silent acts of service

she loves to give you kisses and likes to watch you squirm when she kisses you in sensitive places

she loves to hug you and bury her small head into your chest or into the crook of your neck

she holds onto your arm and stands semi-behind you if she is nervous or she gives your arm a squeeze if your joking around

she also does this weird yet adorable thing where she bites your shoulder blade

not even hardly, just a little nibble

she looks up at you to look for you reaction, hoping you don’t react badly, almost looking up for validation

at first, you were a bit startled because she bit hardly but the more she did it, you got more used to it and the more softly she would bite

she would always try her hardest to stand next to you during photoshoots, sitting next to you during interviews or lives and even walk next to you at the airport

fans just act like it’s a cute friendship but little do they know it’s sm more..

Ningning - Quality Time/Acts of Service

she loves to take care of you and spend time with you

she loves to pamper you and just talk to you

during breaks, she would book out her schedule just to go places with you (and most of the time just you)

she enjoys spending time with her other members but spending time with you is just more enjoyable

she always dreams of taking you to her family in China and loves to tell you stories from back home

when your sick, she cannot think or focus on anything else but you

she buys you every medicine she can find and makes you a feast of warm food

she gets so worried when you get very sick and goes into a state where she is always on edge

she holds you close and tells you that you will be okay (even if she gets sick herself due to close proximity)

she loves to take you sight-seeing whenever on tour and even gets in trouble if you guys are not back past curfew

note . . .

first time ever doing headcanons, i remember reading gg kpop hcs and just thinking how much fun it must be to write (it is!!) remember requests are still open and i am open to almost anything!

navigation: kpop masterlist , aespa masterlist

[bruciemilf]

I NEED more Poolverstorm content!

MY TIME HAS COME!

minute ororo shows up Wade is instantly obsessed. It’s not even romantic at first, — man’s saw how badass, caring, compassionate , patient, powerful, capable and brave she was and immediately went ‘new bestie acquired’

Will never stop bullying Logan for not choosing her since day one. Sir. If you think Wade’s gonna let him fumble the same bag twice you are MISTAKEN—-

Every interaction they have shortens Logan’s immortality (his bisexual senses are tingling and he needs 2-7 business days to recover)

One of Logan’s favorite memories from childhood is snowball fighting, sledding, — everything involving winter.

Wade likes autumn because it gets him one step closer to Halloween and he can finally order the pumpkin mega blast from Starbucks without feeling guilty. Ororo makes both happen specifically

WADE MAKES HER LAUGH!!! SO MUCH!!!!

Whenever someone asks Logan why he puts up with it, he just shrugs, “He makes her laugh.” (He’s so in love with Wade it makes him look stupid)

Wade had to plan an entire thing to ask Roro out. It was supposed to be extremely extravagant and complicated and grandiose, but, Logan went to Ororo instead, cheeks slightly flushed, and groaned something like, “Idiot’s just trying to impress you. Just…Don’t laugh too much? “

She already planned on accepting it, but she’ll indulge them.

Roro starts wearing Logan’s dog tags once they start going out. Wade basically steals everything from shirts to belt buckles, boots, tank tops, some of her necklaces, scarves, heels

Wade being slightly insecure about taking off his mask around them. At least at first. He tries to accept and adapt, — but it’s hard, when dating the prettiest people in the entire world! After Hugh Jackman, at least.

Ororo gently kissing his bare cheek one day, — maybe he lost his mask while trying to clean, or maybe Laura took it for her and Ellie’s play pretend games. She gets right and Logan gets left. “I like this face.”

“Yeah. Well.” He laughs because he’ll cry if he doesn’t, “you’ve always had a thing for weirdos.”

“Shut up, bub.”

“Okay, fine! Hot weirdos.”

Wade explaining how they call marry Roro legally if they kidnap the pope:

Logan is their GUARD DOG!!! Missions? One breath away from their neck. Claws out and ready. Shopping? Arms crossed, scowl on, daring someone to bother them while Wade tries to justify a 400 dollar Lego pruchase.

“My darling. No.”

“But it’s the WOLVERINE collection, Ro!”

Ororo sighs and gives Logan a Look. “Talk some sense into your husband, please?”

“When he’s annoying he’s YOUR husband.”

Blind Al and Ororo? Best of friends. Mother in law/awesome wife who loves her weird ass sons. Would test Ororo at first, like, “You can have everyone in this world and you pick those two? Why?”

“Wisdom has been chasing them but those two can run.”

“…Come sit next to me. You like cocaine?”

“Um—“

“OOOkay, — mushy introductions over, Laura, grab Mary, we’re LEAVING—“

LAURA ELLIE KITTY JUBILEE MOMMY DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP WHEN!!!

Wade seeing how gentle Ororo is with the kids while still being firm, getting them in line when they don’t listen, but wrangling them expertly?

Ellie actually,,, ate her vegetables? Laura didn’t stab anyone over doing the dishes? Jubilee actually goes to sleep before 6 am?

“We have GOT to get her pregnant.”

Logan is so fucking tired. “I don’t think there’s a cure for whatever you’re on.”

“Alright, FINE. Get ME pregnant then.”