#every time I listen to the sound track especially found I just get an overwhelming sense of dread

[smallfrogpleasedtomeetyou]

GOIN TO SEE DEAR EVAN HANSEN TMR YAAAAAYYYYYYYYY

[isak-dot-gov]

Spoilt Rotten

Pairing: KK Arnold x Reader

Word count: 1127

My Masterlist :)

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The sound of wrapping paper crinkling caught your attention as soon as you stepped into the living room. There it was again—a package. Big and bold, the box sat atop your coffee table, tied with a ribbon that probably cost more than your weekly grocery bill.

You sighed heavily, already knowing what this meant. KK had done it again.

It wasn’t like she meant to overwhelm you, but it seemed like every time you mentioned something, even in passing, KK found a way to get it for you. Whether it was a bag you admired while scrolling online, a pair of shoes you tried on once, or even a limited edition gadget that you could easily live without—KK made it her mission to track it down.

And here it was. Another luxury gift.

With a heavy heart, you stepped closer to the box, trying to fight off the small flicker of excitement. Of course, you wanted to see what was inside. KK always had impeccable taste, and deep down, it made you feel special that she cared enough to remember the things you liked. But it was still too much, too often.

You couldn’t shake the thought: How much did this cost her?

Sighing, you sat on the couch, running a hand through your hair as you stared at the package. You didn’t need this. You didn’t ask for this. But KK? She never listened when it came to gifts. 

Right on cue, the front door opened. KK strolled in with her usual confident energy, her presence filling the room as soon as she walked through the door. She was beautiful— an athletic build, with sharp features softened only by her easygoing smile. She carried herself like someone who could handle anything life threw at her, and when it came to you, she treated you like a queen.

"Hey, babe," she called, her voice lilting with amusement as she saw you sitting on the couch, your eyes on the package. "You seen it?"

"Of course I saw it," you said, shaking your head. "KK, seriously? I told you I don’t need all this stuff."

KK grinned, not at all fazed by your exasperation. She slipped off her jacket and walked over, sitting beside you. "But you want it, don’t you?"

You groaned softly, leaning back against the cushions. "That’s not the point. It’s expensive. I don’t want you spending all your money on things I don’t need."

KK leaned in closer, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear with the kind of gentleness that always made your heart flutter. "You deserve nice things. What’s the harm in that?"

You stared at her, feeling the familiar tug between guilt and affection. KK had always been this way—generous to a fault, especially when it came to you. It wasn’t about showing off or proving something; she just genuinely enjoyed spoiling you. It was her love language, but sometimes it made you feel like you couldn’t keep up. 

She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing playfully as she reached out to tug the ribbon loose on the box. "Aren’t you curious?"

“KK…”

“Just open it. I promise it’s something small this time.”

You raised an eyebrow, knowing she was probably lying. But the sparkle in her eyes made it hard to say no. So, with a reluctant sigh, you started peeling away the wrapping paper, half dreading and half excited about what you’d find inside.

Your fingers hesitated as the box revealed its contents. Inside, nestled in a bed of tissue paper, was the designer purse you had admired months ago—a limited-edition piece from a luxury brand you could never justify buying for yourself.

“Oh my gosh…” you breathed, your hands lightly grazing the buttery leather. It was even more beautiful up close, the detailing intricate, the quality undeniable. You looked up at KK, your heart racing with a mix of excitement and guilt. “You remembered this?”

KK’s grin softened into something more genuine, a flicker of pride in her eyes. “Of course I did. You couldn’t stop talking about it for days.”

You swallowed hard, guilt gnawing at you again. “But this must have cost a fortune, KK. You really didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to.” Her voice was firm but kind, her hand coming up to rest on your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I don’t care about the price, babe. I just want you to have the things that make you happy. You work so hard, and you never let yourself have nice things. So I’ll do it for you.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, emotions swirling inside you. KK always made it sound so simple, but the truth was, it wasn’t easy for you to accept this kind of generosity. It felt unfair, like you weren’t pulling your weight in the relationship.

“I don’t want you to think you have to buy me things to make me happy, though,” you said softly, placing the purse back in the box. “I already have everything I need with you.”

KK’s eyes softened, and she leaned in closer, her arm wrapping around your shoulders as she pulled you into her side. “I know that, love. But it’s not about having to buy it. It’s just… my way of showing you how much I care. If something makes you smile, then it’s worth it to me. You don’t have to feel bad about it.”

You rested your head against her shoulder, feeling the steady rise and fall of her breathing. KK had this way of making you feel safe and loved, even when your thoughts were tangled up in guilt. She was so confident, so sure of herself—and, more importantly, of her love for you. 

After a long pause, you sighed, letting the tension drain out of you. “You’re too good to me, you know that?”

KK chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “You deserve it, baby.”

You couldn’t help but smile at her confidence, at the way she always made you feel like the centre of her universe. “Just… maybe next time, talk to me before you go spending crazy amounts of money?”

KK raised an eyebrow, clearly teasing. “We’ll see.”

You gave her a playful nudge, and she laughed, wrapping you tighter in her embrace. Even though you knew KK wasn’t going to change anytime soon, part of you was okay with that. She was stubborn, but her love for you was unshakable. And, in the end, that was worth more than any gift she could ever buy.

As you leaned back into her, the two of you relaxing in each other’s presence, you realised that maybe being spoilt wasn’t so bad after all—especially when it came from someone like KK.

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[libraryofgage]

Spiderpool Steddie Part Two

Part One

This series is about to become secret identity shenanigans lmao

As always, if you see any typos no you didn't ^_^

Between Steve's glasses, the crowd surrounding him on the subway, and the rattling of the train against the tracks, a killer headache is starting to form, pressing relentlessly behind Steve's eyes and the bridge of his nose. He shuts his eyes, trying to take a deep breath to calm his senses, but he's just hit with the horrific and confusing smell of multiple bodies pressed together in a small space. Steve grimaces, opening his eyes once more. He considers removing his glasses, but he'd rather not risk losing them.

A garbled, muffled voice echoes through the train, the presence more than the words announcing the approach of the next stop. Steve sighs with relief, determined to get off the train ahead of time, and starts to awkwardly push his way toward the doors of the train. He's just two more muttered apologies away from them when he tenses, his nerves dancing with warning of an inconvenience about to come. Steve doesn't know what that inconvenience is, though, until someone else moves and their over-stuffed backpack smacks him in the chest.

Normally, it wouldn't actually have any effect on Steve. But now, between the headache and being mid-step and trying to breathe through his mouth so his nose isn't further assaulted, Steve loses his balance. He braces himself to fall on his ass (somehow, people on a crowded train in this city seem to have a sixth sense for getting out of the way of someone falling) but finds himself being caught around the waist, instead.

A strong arm holds him steady and the smells from the train are muted by the overwhelming scent of smoke and denim and something metallic. Steve blinks, tilting his head back to look at the person who's still holding him with no sign of letting go. He's met with a playful grin and amused eyes framed by untamed hair.

"Eddie?"

It's a question, but Steve knows it's him without a doubt, especially when Eddie raises an eyebrow and asks, "Have we met before, big boy? I think I'd remember if we had."

Steve tenses, pulling away as much as he can before turning around. They're still too close because of the crowd around them, but just a tiny bit of distance helps. "I, uh, I'm a fan. Of your band. Corroded Coffin," Steve explains, wincing at how stilted he sounds.

Eddie slowly looks Steve up and down, taking in the soft yellow sweater with a white collar peeking out from underneath, skinny jeans, worn-out messenger bag, and dirty high-tops. His gaze travels back up, lingering on Steve's glasses before saying, "No offense, but you don't look like you listen to my music."

"Well, I do," Steve replies. It's true enough. He did spend a whole day researching Corroded Coffin and listening to every song he could find. Some of them were way too loud for him, too much chaotic music clashing together into something his overly sensitive ears couldn't actually process. But he'd found the lyrics online with fan-made sheet music and, using the older-than-him keyboard in his older-than-his-father apartment, he'd recreated the melodies and found himself appreciating the music.

Eddie raises his hands in surrender, flashing a slightly apologetic, slightly playful smile. "I believe you," he says. "So, what's my number one fan's name?"

Steve tenses once more, reaching up to grip the strap of his messenger bag as his brain speed runs the risk of telling Eddie his name. They've met once while he was in his suit, but Eddie doesn't seem to recognize his voice or body or anything else. It probably wouldn't hurt to offer his name; Eddie will probably write this moment off as meeting a fan and never think about Steve again. In fact, Steve would wager that there's a 79% chance Eddie will never see Steve again.

He won't even bother wasting energy on trying to figure out the chances of Eddie seeing Spider-Man again. The likelihood is high, considering Steve likes relaxing on Sister Margaret's roof.

"Steve. Harrington. Steve Harrington."

Eddie's grin becomes a bit more genuine, his hands shoved into the pockets of his vest as he leans forward slightly. "Nice to meet you, Stevie," he says, his voice soft and just barely audible even to Steve's enhanced hearing.

Heat surges across Steve's cheeks, his heart picking up speed, and he silently curses how much of a sucker he is for pretty brown eyes. "Yeah, nice to meet you, too," he mumbles, glancing up when that garbled voice once announces the approaching stop. "That, um, that's my stop," he adds, a nervous laugh following the words as he keeps himself from meeting Eddie's eyes once more.

He sounds like a blushing virgin, and Steve wishes he could bash his head against the side of the train. He's far more confident when he's wearing the mask. If he were Spider-Man right now, they'd be bantering with playful tones and clever quips.

Well, if he were Spider-Man right now, he wouldn't be riding the subway in the first place.

"Oh," Eddie says, frowning slightly. He's silent for a few seconds before grinning once more. "You wanna get coffee sometime, sweetheart?"

The question is so sudden that Steve's brain grinds to a complete halt before rebooting itself. He should say no. Just meeting Eddie by chance has threatened his secret. So, Steve should absolutely say no.

But he likes Eddie. Steve thinks he's funny and pretty, and he knows they would have a good rapport if only Steve could get his head out of his ass and communicate like a normal person. And it's just one date. There's no guarantee it would even go anywhere or that Eddie would even show up. Besides, if he plays his cards right (bats his eyes just right, brushes his fingers along Eddie's arm, laughs at his jokes), coffee could become a free lunch, and Steve isn't going to say no to potential free food.

"Sure," he says, an eager smile that he can't help tugging at his lips.

Eddie lights up, holding his hand out to Steve as he says, "Lemme see your phone. I'll put my number in."

Steve nods, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening it to create a new contact. Once he's typed Eddie's name into the proper field, he passes it over, watching as Eddie puts his number in, double-checks it, retypes something, and then passes it back.

A quick glance at the now-saved contact shows that Eddie has added a bat emoji to his contact name. Steve snorts and sends a text message to the number, glancing up as Eddie's phone pings at full volume. It's muffled and blends right in with the chaos of the train, but Steve still raises an eyebrow at him.

"Listen, I'm in loud places constantly," Eddie says, tugging his phone out with a grin. "How else am I gonna hear when cute boys text me?"

"There are other cute boys texting you?" Steve asks, feeling a little more at ease. What was he so worried about before? It's hard to remember when he's focused on Eddie.

"Well, no, actually, but a guy can hope, right?" Eddie asks, winking playfully. "Besides, now I've got a gorgeous boy texting me. It's even more important to hear when your messages come in."

Steve rolls his eyes at Eddie as the train comes to a stop at the station. "Yeah, sure, gorgeous," Steve says. He knows he looks good (a person can't spend so much time on their hair alone without knowing it, he thinks) but "gorgeous" is probably going a bit too far. "This is my stop. Text me."

Eddie nods. "Assume I'm dead if I don't text you within two hours," he says, utterly serious, and Steve laughs.

He shakes his head at Eddie, waves to him, and then starts pushing his way toward the slowly opening doors that will let him into the station. Steve sighs with relief once he's off the train, and the somewhat fresher air makes him realize what he's just agreed to.

He doesn't regret it, not at all, but he suddenly can't shake the feeling that his life is about to get...chaotic. Even more chaotic than being Spider-Man makes it.

-----

Steve carefully sets the bag of tacos down on the roof before collapsing and leaning against the walled edge. He sighs, pushing his mask to the bridge of his nose, and lets the vibrations of the building soothe his adrenaline-spiked nerves.

The music plays uninterrupted for a few minutes before subsiding, the building going still despite Steve still being able to hear the crowd inside. A few more minutes pass before the music starts up again, but Steve can tell there's something different about it. Before he can figure out what it is, the door to the roof flies open.

"Spidey!"

Steve huffs out a quiet laugh, waving at Eddie as he walks over. "I got tacos," he says, gesturing to the bag.

He feels weird seeing Eddie as Spider-Man just hours after he'd been texting Eddie as Steve. Actually, the only reason they'd stopped texting was because Steve lied about going to sleep, wanting to ensure he wouldn't be distracted by his phone while patrolling.

Eddie grins and sits on the other side of the bag. This is only the second time they've hung out on the roof together, but Eddie snatches up the bag like he's done it a million times before. "Where from?" he asks, pulling out three tacos before placing the bag back down.

"Taco cart on 7th," Steve says, grabbing a taco for himself.

A comfortable quiet settles between them as Steve takes a bite of his taco. Eddie somehow inhales two of his three in less than a minute, making Steve wonder if he's even breathed or tasted the tacos. Before he can jokingly ask, though, Eddie suddenly says, "I've fallen in love."

Steve chokes on his carnitas, eyes watering as he coughs through the sudden, cilantro-scented ache in his throat. A steady hand pats his back, helping him through the coughing fit. Once he's finally able to breathe again, Steve looks at Eddie and asks, his voice rough, "You what?"

"Fell in love. Been hit by Cupid. Seen the fucking light, even."

Steve almost asks if their coffee date is canceled. It was supposed to be that weekend at a tiny hole-in-the-wall shop Steve had never heard of before. And then he remembers the mask he's wearing and the whole "secret identity" thing. He pushes down that question and asks a different one instead. "Oh, uh, congrats. What's their name?"

Eddie gets a dopey smile. "Steve. He looks like a stereotypical prep, but apparently, he's a fan of the band."

For a brief moment, Steve wonders about the ethics of discussing himself with Eddie. Then again, it would be more suspicious if he didn't, right? And he has to keep his secret identity intact. Steve clears his throat, wincing at the dull pain before asking, "Where'd you meet?"

"Subway. Some asshole hit Steve with their backpack and I caught him."

Steve can't help snorting when he hears it from Eddie. "How chivalrous of you. What, are you gonna say he literally fell for you next?" he asks.

Eddie's grin tells Steve that, yes, he was going to say that. Since Steve beat him to it, though, he just says, "He was so cute and flustered, Spidey. And sweet fuck, his hair? His hair is incredible. I wanna know how long he spends on it so I can really appreciate messing it up when we make out. He's got, like, moles and freckles, too, right? And they're so fucking cute. I wanna play connect the dots with them. We didn't get to talk much on the train, but I can tell he's sarcastic and funny. Plus, like, he gives off this really caring energy? Like, hand Steve a baby, and he'd be in his element."

Okay, hearing Eddie talk about him like this is weird. Steve's mouth feels dry and he shoves the last of his taco into his mouth before pulling his mask down. He's lucky Eddie is looking away, otherwise, he'd see the bright and obvious blush spreading across Steve's cheeks and down his neck.

"He sounds great," Steve manages, relieved his voice doesn't sound as strained as he feels. "Maybe he used to babysit?"

Steve did, in fact, used to babysit. He still babysits, actually. Granted, not as much as before, but there are a few single moms in his building that he helps out whenever they need.

Eddie nods in agreement, his smile becoming smaller and more genuine. "Yeah. I can't wait to get to know him," he says, his voice softer, and Steve thinks he might be jealous of himself if he wasn't so fascinated by seeing this side of Eddie.

"So, uh, when's the date?" he asks.

"Saturday. We're gonna get coffee, but if I play my cards right, I bet I can take him out for lunch, too."

A laugh manages to escape Steve as he wonders if Eddie read his mind on the subway. "If you do, there's a good Thai place by the park," he suggests. "It's called Thai Cottage, I think."

It's Steve's favorite place for Thai food, actually. But Eddie doesn't need to know that right now. He can just find out when Steve tells him on Saturday.

Steve once again finds himself wondering about the ethics of telling Eddie how to make the date go well when Eddie doesn't know Spider-Man and Steve are the same person.

Eddie grins brightly at him, and Steve finds he doesn't care about the ethics. "Thanks, man," he says, elbowing his arm gently as the watch on his wrist beeps twice. "Ah, fuck, break's over."

Eddie pushes himself up, stretching his arms above his head, and Steve hears several pops along his spine. "Time for the next set?" he asks.

"Yep. Still gonna be here when it's done?"

"Nah, I've got plans tomorrow, but I'll listen to the first song at least," Steve promises, hoping his smile is obvious enough despite the mask.

Eddie nods, looking like he doesn't mind at all. "No worries, man. I'll see ya next time, Spidey," he says, waving over his shoulder before heading to the stairwell again.

Steve watches him go, waiting until the door has shut before he sighs and slumps against the edge of the roof. He stares at the sky for a moment, briefly prays that he'll be able to juggle Eddie knowing Steve and Spider-Man, and tries to ignore the impending sense of chaos that has taken up residence in the back of his mind since he walked off the train.

---

Tag List (please let me know if you'd like to be tagged, too)

@soaringornithopter, @suikatto, @murdblurdock, @starman-jpg, @somegirlsomewhere, @heaven428

[thisaintascenereviews]

Nita Strauss - The Call Of The Void

While it's common for bands and solo artists to release albums, it's more uncommon these days to see an instrumental musician release a solo album, especially in certain genres. Jazz music, for example, is known for instrumental albums, and many different artists have released their own records by themselves, or with other musicians, but rock and metal aren't known for that. They're known for singers to release solo albums, but not musicians. That's why the sophomore solo album, entitled The Call Of The Void, from guitarist Nita Strauss is very interesting. Strauss has been getting a lot of buzz and hype lately, thanks to being both a guitarist of Alice Cooper's backing band and Demi Lovato's backing band, but she's also found the time to release solo albums, starting with 2018's Uncontrolled Chaos. I've never listened to that, but instrumental albums can be kind of overwhelming and intimidating, especially if they're long. That album was quite long, if I recall, but so is The Call Of The Void. What separates this one, however, is that Strauss does the smart thing by making this record a bit more accessible by adding a handful of guest vocalists from the worlds of rock and metal.

Both records are still around an hour long (this one is even longer if you include the instrumental versions of the songs with vocalists on them), but this one doesn't feel its length. The album is littered with a variety of instrumental cuts and songs with vocalists, so it makes for an interesting listen. Hell, even just the list of guest vocalists is interesting, and should make most rock and metal fans curious about this, thanks to featuring Lzzy Hale of Halestorm, Chris Motionless of Motionless In White, Alissa White-Gluz of Arch Enemy, David Draiman of Disturbed, Anders Friden of In Flames, and Alice Cooper himself. There are a few more, but those are some huge names. You'd think that this record would be a mixed bag, because each song would sound different, or the quality would vary between vocalists, but it doesn't. Honestly, I love The Call Of The Void, and this is easily one of the best rock and metal albums I've heard all year (possibly of the last few years as well). The sad thing is, this record will go unnoticed by a lot of people because Strauss isn't a household name just yet. This record has a very consistent sound and feel to it, all the while having enough variety in each track to make it a unique listen. Every song goes between hard-rock and heavy metal, whereas some tracks leans towards metalcore, arena-rock, melodic death metal, and nu-metal, but there's just enough of the "core" sound of this record that keep them all somewhat similar, especially when Strauss comes in at various points with killer riffs and solos.

Yeah, as great as a lot of the vocalists are here (more on that in a second), Strauss herself is the best part of it. Her guitarplaying is utterly fantastic, and I find myself really going back to some of the instrumental cuts on here, such as opener "Summer Storm," or "Consume The Fire," "Scorched," and "Momentum." The songs with vocalists are great, too, and a lot of them feature fantastic hooks that really get stuck in your head, as well as some great riffs and solos that showcase her playing very well, despite being a more accessible sound. One could argue that she limits herself by contorting her playing to that of the guest vocalists, and to an extent, I can understand that, but it's also a testament to the amount of different styles she can play and not miss a beat. She doesn't sound out of place at any point. She can play nu-metal / alt-metal with David Draiman on "Dead Inside," hard-rock with Lzzy Hale on "Through The Noise," or melodic death metal with Alissa White-Gluz on "The Wolf You Feed," and it all sounds natural. Even the metalcore cut on this record with Chris Motionless, "Digital Bullets," still works very well, because alongside a pretty solid breakdown, there's a great solo in that song (definitely one of the best on the album).

The album's length at around an hour may turn some people off, and I get that, but I find myself coming back to this album a lot. I get super excited when certain tracks come up, because I'm just so excited to listen to it over and over. If you enjoy hard-rock and/or heavy metal in any capacity, I'd listen to this. It doesn't do anything that you haven't heard before, but the solos, riffs, and hooks are enough to really elevate this album. The vocalists on here never become the sole focus of the record, which can be an issue when musicians feature vocalists, because the vocalists can take center stage, but just when you think that the vocalists are becoming the most important part, Strauss comes through with a face-melting solo that reminds you that this is her record. Adding vocalists, however, is a very good idea, because it makes for a more accessible and digestible listen. Sure, it's around an hour, but it doesn't lose its edge, momentum, or interest. It never gets boring, and that's surprising with albums this long, but I've always said that it takes the right album to keep me engaged for more than 40 - 45 minutes. If an album can do that, it's something special, and boy, this album is something special. it's one of the best of the year, so check it out.

[sds-mod]

I've been listening to the soundtrack of that ongoing musical project Epic: The Musical, and I have so many thoughts I really need to ramble to get them out of my system finally so

I will admit that on my first impression I found it a little too popsong-y and disconnected, I found it to be lacking the more showtune style music I tend to gravitate towards more with musicals and the background tracks being more pop-beat-focused didn't give me a strong musical feeling. But I know me and I only start to really grasp musicals on the second or third listen so by now I'm really enjoying it, though I still have a few lingering issues (with the caveat that it is not yet finished so maybe my feelings on it will change as more of the saga comes out), so here's a list of things that keep rolling in my mind.

The voice casting is suuuper solid, Athena and Polites especially stand out to me. Athena's singer really gives off the weight of presence and a voice that just instantly matches to the character, while Polites' singer just nails it with the positivity and the smile in his voice. Really enjoying both of their songs a lot by now. Odysseus sounds super good too. Honestly vocally the only real issue I have was the laugh Aeolus did...sounds a little too fake so it takes me out of the moment every time (the singing is gorgeous though, it's really just the laugh)

rn I'm kinda missing some ballads...I tend to be a ballad hater but I grew some appreciation for them in the last few years and without them it can feel a little overwhelming with all of it being plot imo. This might stand out to me more because they absolutely struck gold with "Just a Man" which is such a good emotional check-in with the character and culminates in a devastating moment.

I feel like it's a little bit of a missed opportunity to have most of the songs sound rather pop-y, I would have liked if perhaps Circe's entrance sounded more seductive (the layered backdrop just didn't super match, maybe that's just me) or if the Sea Saga sounded a little more sea-shanty-esque maybe? But I do recognize that the overall sound makes everything more cohesive, with the downside that on first listen the songs tended to blend together to me and no single melody really stuck in my mind. Also sorry but the rap part in Puppeteer was really unmotivated lmao, you don't have to be Hamilton.

So far I'm kinda missing the connective tissues and leitmotifs, I do pick up some small musical stuff the more I listen but they are really minimal or quick imo, it's missing something like the love song from Hadestown or in general repeated strong melodies idk idk.

I think my personal ranking of the Sagas is just the chronological order rn.

Overall, took me a few listens but I'm quite enjoying it now, I just think that overall it's just a little too pop for my taste (I love pop music mind you, I just also love strong melodies in my musicals)

[senespera-ffxiv]

//endwalker level 90 dungeon spoilers

I have like. mixed feelings about The Dead Ends and it's largely tied to my mixed feelings about how they used Close the Distance in Ultima Thule. For starters, though, I do have to mention that Ultima Thule is straight up my favorite thing they've done plot-wise. Literally no competition, this thing made me cry so fucking hard and fit in with the thematic content of Endwalker so well that even though it does the easily messed up trope of "killing everyone off at the end" it makes every single death have purpose to it so it works in the end. It works so goddamn well. Ough.

The music, especially, works really well in Ultima Thule. I especially liked the way that it built up with every sacrifice, like your allies are the one weaving the song together. It was a really cool way of portraying the power of teamwork, collective action, and friendship in a way that was a little more abstract. And it fits thematically with the final boss too, being the "Endsinger" because "Close the Distance" is now recontextualized as a counter to the Endsinger. A song of hope to counter the song of the end, The Answer/Response to the Endsinger's Call, etc.

So why. Why. Did they decide to make a completely separate track for The Dead Ends. That dungeon can essentially be considered the perfect manifestation of Meteion's lament over the inevitable heat death of the universe and it would make *so* much fucking sense to have Close the Distance in its original form playing the entire time, like a victory parade as you beat back her suicidal nihilism with a song of bittersweet hope for an uncertain future. That arrangement doesn't count, it doesn't have any of the impact of the original song and it would've been so cool to have that song smoothly transition from the field of Ultima Thule and into the dungeon.

To me at least, it kind of feels like they were trying to recapture the magic of Amaurot with that last dungeon, what with the sweeping orchestral remix of the final area's music. But the reason why it worked with Amaurot is because that song hits the tone of that dungeon perfectly. It's desperate, it's epic, it is filled with the overwhelming sadness and longing for the old Amaurot and it makes me emotional every time I manage to get that dungeon in roulette. With the Dead Ends, I don't get any of that. I just get "oh it's an orchestral remix of Close the Distance." It's hopeful, yes, it's filled with a sense of purpose, but it doesn't hit the same notes as the original.

And so imagine how much more annoyed I was when I found out that the music persisted after clearing the main quest. Because to me, at least, the music staying there even after everyone's back and safe and sound and everything's done with just sort of cheapens the impact of the song. It no longer feels special, it just becomes "the overworld theme of Ultima Thule" not "the song that you and your allies sacrificed so much to create." I would've much preferred if it reverted to that first, quiet, muffled version that plays when you first land. The base echoes that Thancred gives you are now recontextualized as the last remaining echoes of Your Song as it slowly fades, having fulfilled its purpose. The painful memories of what happened there are slowly dulling as you celebrate your victory. On a certain level, they'll always stay with you, but they won't stay at the forefront of your memory. The pain of losing Thancred, Estinien, Y'shtola and Urianger, G'raha, and Alphinaud and Alisaie, even for a few moments, will forever stay but only as echoes, reminding you how important it is to cherish your friends and allies.

And if you ever feel like listening to the entire song again, just queue up for The Dead Ends. Refute the song of the end with a song of bittersweet hope. As many times as it takes to keep those lingering thoughts that "nothing matters" at bay.

Anyways, that's enough rambling from me. The thematic content of Endwalker is very special to me because I constantly and consistently have small bouts of existential terror and angst, and I can't even begin to express how gratifying it is to see the philosophy that I had developed to counteract it presented in such a manner in the game. Fighting those kinds of thoughts and any other sort of hardships and challenges that come your way are, I think, a never-ending battle and I think that the game could've just made a few adjustments to better reflect that. I am still very pleased with how it's currently presented.

I get the depression but also the serotonin lol. The best combo.

[writer-akihiko]

hiii! can I get a similar scenario like this but with vice dorm leaders and floyd? I love your works!!! I hope you have a nice week <3

Vice Dorm Leaders + Floyd + Valentine's Jealousy

Thank you for this request! It was a while to post this because I kinda forgot the prompt for the previous one, but I hope you enjoy some equally jealous Vice Dorm Leaders and Floyd!

Lilia Vanrouge

Many knew that you were quite famous, and he was well aware of how others saw you too. You weren't one to accept the presents because you had Lilia, but it was hard to reject them most of the time when they'd all gang up on you.

From the day started, you planned out the day. You planned to take an alternate route back to the dorms, but through every step, some student would stop you with a present. With so many eyes on you, it was overwhelming.

A couple of Savanaclaw boys stopped you in your tracks, with the supposed leader of the pack holding a box of chocolates towards you.

"YN! Please accept my gift!"

The sudden approach made you trip and fall on your butt, but before a hand could reach out to help you, the wall of students collapsed. You smelled smoke, supposedly from something burning, but as you looked over it more, it was the students that were burning…

Lilia stood over them, sneering at the other students that looked on. He gave a deep bow, and you noticed that one of his heels dug into the side of the one who wanted to give you a gift.

"Ara ara... as Vice Dorm Leader, there shouldn't be any fleas disturbing the peace."

The bodies of those students were well stepped and pranced over as Lilia prattled on about 'appropriate' rules for a NRC student. His lecture was done, but you found it odd that Lilia cared about the rules at all...

"Now that you get my point, leave."

All students, burnt and normal, scattered when Lilia said that. You were the only one left, and you began to get anxious once more. Surely... Surely your lover wouldn’t punish you too?

As your boyfriend stepped closer, he got on one knee, somehow conjuring a bouquet of flowers? On further inspection, the flower buds appeared to be your favourite snacks on sticks in... a bouquet. Lilia had his mysterious ways, but the silly bouquet got a giggle out of you.

He got up, pulling you by the waist. "I take it as you love your snack bouquet~" He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "Happy Valentine's Day YN."

Trey Clover

Trey didn't want you to know that you were well-known so instead of doing anything to the other students, he tells you to stay in your room instead as you wait for him to pick you up for a romantic Valentine's date.

As the morning of Valentine started, he could watch in envy at the other students with present clearly meant for you. He did ask Vil for a favour to doll you up for the date, but he wasn't sure if you were going to stay put with Grim around...

He had to curse himself for getting caught up in one of Professor Crewel's ramblings, but he wouldn't be so rude to get up and leave. If he had to be honest, it was very tempting to do so.

It was finally over, and he tried not to let out a sigh of relief. The moment he walked out of the classroom, he was already frowning at the sight that he saw.

Many surrounded you, but particularly those with sweet treats caught your attention the most. They begged you to try their treats, but you never thought it as anything romantic. As someone who was fond of making sweet treats like Trey, you thought that they were asking for your input instead.

One of the students dared to hand-feed you a piece of the sweet he made. Trey being pissed off was an understatement. Cater, who was busy filming the decorations and vlogging, paused when his camera neared Trey's line of view.

Trey knew he wasn't going to get to you in time, so as he saw the treat inch closer to your mouth, he used his magic to alter the flavour of it. You winced at the bitter flavour unlike the sweet flavour before you expected.

You coughed out the piece you had in your mouth, dropping the food. Your head bumped against someone, and an arm wrapped around you. You relaxed once you felt Trey's familiar scent, but with your ear pressed against his chest, the sound of his thumping heart rang through your ears.

"You really dared to poison YN..."

The students backed away, but with a teacher nearby, they were quickly taken away. Trey didn't mind his little lie, after all, you were adorably blushing in his arms.

"Are you okay my love?" He patted your head, checking you for any injuries. It was only then he realised that you were dolled up, and your cheeks were flushed whenever hi fingers touched your skin.

Trey wasn't usually tongue-tied, but the way you just looked made him speechless.

"H-Happy Valentine's... my gorgeous YN."

Jamil Viper

He was an observant man, so the day before Valentine's he knew who was targeting to give you gifts, even if they hadn't made their intentions public. He never made your relationship public, but he targeted those who thought they were the 'perfect' candidate for your love.

It all began with spreading rumours, particularly about how someone was going to be your fiancé. He only had to wait for the rumours to settle in, and then the chaos would commence...

By the morning of Valentine's, many had gathered at your doorstep leaving gifts but some insisted on waiting for you... like a stalker... Oh well, Jamil could remedy that easily.

He couldn't hypnotise to most due to the limitations of his magic, but he was still good at manipulating those around him. He couldn't help but feel such jealousy towards the other students for getting you such expensive gifts, especially when he could never get those gifts for you himself.

He was so distracted with his jealous thoughts that he missed the moment that you walked out of your room. You were hopeful that your boyfriend Jamil was waiting, but you couldn't hide your disappointment when it wasn't.

The more aggressive 'suitors' caught on to your disappointment, and you shrunk in fear as they approached you.

"Hoi, why are you making that fa-"

BLAM!

Before any insulting things were said, a basketball went flying and hit the student in the head, knocking him flat.

"Get away from her."

Jamil's piercing gaze sent a shiver down everyone's spine, causing them to scram. Even those who had the strength to beat Jamil were outmatched by the sheer bloodlust and the objective authority he had, which was better not to mess with if they valued their school life.

It wasn't long before you jumped into Jamil's arms, which caused both of you to topple over. Your large grin was fitting for Jamil's flustered state, as you bestowed your hero a loving kiss.

Jade Leech

If any student in NRC were to say to their fellow friends that they wanted to confess to YN on Valentine's Day, their friends would ask them if they wanted a death wish. This was because it was a well-known fact that you were dating Jade Leech.

And in NRC, you'd never want to mess with the Leech brothers.

Jade wouldn't want to scare you, but he may have overheard some other people talking about giving you a Valentine's gift. Even if it was out of obligation, he wouldn't allow that.

He could personally alter the ingredients of their drinks so that they'd... fall asleep before any present giving...

You always hung around the Lounge but this time around, Jade didn't allow you to walk out onto the floor, so you accompanied Azul with helping him with his papers. He waited for the serum to kick in, and when they were asleep he informed Azul of some loiterers in the Lounge.

Before they fell asleep, Jade couldn't help himself from revealing his tiny plan to the victims.

"Don't try your chances."

They were quickly disposed of, thanks to Floyd. It'd be better not to mention specifics.

Jade did promise you a romantic date, so you were surprised how much the Lounge changed after hours. The simple candlelight shone on the extravagant meal with Jade's specially brewed tea.

You felt the merman's arms wrap around you, as he leaned down, whispering in your ear. "YN, thank you for being my Valentine."

Floyd Leech

Whoever had the idea to confess to you besides Floyd Leech was asking to die by getting squeezed by a merman.

He wasn't sure how did you gain so much attention, but then he remembered that he'd always glomp you whenever he saw you... and then he remembered that Valentine's was today. Oh well, he'll figure something out.

The person Floyd had his eyes on though, was a student who was part of a band that Azul drove into debt. The entire band then on went to work for the Lounge as entertainters, but how could Floyd trust such a scheming bass player?

He heard from Jade that they were going to practice, but he had an inkling that it would be a confession to you. Only when it comes to you, he's observant.

"Hey YN! I just wanna show you-"

You shrugged off the bassist's enthusiasm. "Sorry... I'm a bit worn out. A lot of people have been giving me presents today."

He still took your hand. "Well... um if it helps you relax, I wrote a song for you!"

"A song?" You inched away since he was too close for comfort, but you'd doubt he'd listen to you since those other students didn't listen to you anyway...

"Hands off my Shrimpy."

Floyd couldn't hold it, watching from the sidelines. Jade told him to stay put, but it was impossible. He grabbed the student by the shoulders, squeezing him until he screamed. Once Floyd saw your worried face, he abandoned every thought of 'torturing' the boy and flung him across the room instead.

It was just his luck that the boy landed in your pile of presents, destroying about half of them. That was the presents dealt with...

You eagerly hugged Floyd, finally seeing him after a long day. Floyd couldn't help but twirl his Shrimpy around, joy filling him from your giggles. Oh well, Valentine's was too materialistic anyway. If he could get a laugh out of you just like this, that was all that mattered to him.

"Love ya Shrimpy~"

Ruggie Bucchi

Having so much responsibility in Savanaclaw meant that he had the slimmest of chances to be with you during Valentine's. Sure, most knew that you were his but there would be those idiots that would approach you regardless of your relationship status.

He gritted his teeth as he thought of all the possible presents he couldn't give you, and others could. The moment he stepped out his body simply shook with envy at how lucky those students were to have the spare money to get you something nice.

It honestly made him feel terrible that he couldn't provide those for you. It really did.

He wasn't one to lash out, but he was a hyena beastman after all. He had his limits. The moment he spotted you, he couldn't stop his tail from wagging. What pissed him off though was the idiocity of the students who can't comprehend that you didn't want to deal with them.

A Scarabia student had been following you around, and it was getting on your nerves. He showed off his 'assets' in front of you, which was embarrassing enough but it really struck a chord when the said student disregarded your beloved Ruggie.

"Surely you have better chances with me than some filthy beastman like him..."

You huffed, your fists shaking. "That's my boyfriend you're talking about!"

The student, of course disregarded you entirely. He grabbed you by the wrist, but in the blink of an eye, his palm was bleeding. There Ruggie was, claws out and holding you in one arm.

"She said she has a boyfriend, scum."

He didn't care how much he'd get punished. Knowing how much the teachers favoured you, they might let it pass... He didn't want to deal with the aftermath, so he lifted you up bridal style and ran with you to the Savanaclaw dorm.

"W-Wait Ruggie! I might be heavy..."

"You're not," He bluntly said, angling his face so he could check you for any injuries. His chest swelled up with pride with how much you defended him. "YN, it's okay though. You didn't have to defend me that much..."

You were not one to stand for your boyfriend to insult himself. You kissed him, surprising him to the point he almost dropped you. As you stared at your confused Ruggie, you comforted him with words he needed to hear the most.

"Ruggie, you're my one and only love."

Rook Hunt

This man had a plan. He had a plan and he planned it the moment he realised Valentine's Day was coming which was roughly after the first few months of dating. He never realised that it would be such a meticulous operation.

He runs the grapevine of gossip, so he knows exactly who to target. Sure... some methods were not as graceful as the Pomefiore standard but he had to do what he had to do.

Valentine's rolled around. D-Day. The D stood for Date... as he highlighted in notes. He'd leave you be, because you were the main star of his plan. His star, his moon, his every- Oh and he caught himself before getting sidetracked...

The first mistake was leaving their presents unattended. The second mistake was going to talk to you.

In a sudden moment, many shrieked at their presents getting vandalised by someone's arrow. It wasn't a humble mistake. Someone was doing this on purpose.

While other students panicked, you had stooped to your knees, observing the words on the shaft of the arrow...

'From YN's boyfriend~'

Oh... Oh Rook... How adorable of you... You thought to yourself. You were surprised that none had caught on so far, but you were sorely mistaken as the person who was about to gift you a bouquet of flowers grabbed you in fear.

"Y-Your boyfriend?! Who is he-" The student shrieked and fell to the ground as an arrow flew past his head, cutting off some of his locks. Then and there, Rook stepped out, bow in hand, bowing to his lady.

"My apologies. I was aiming for your head."

Rook was quick to take you in his arms, but that was not before he oh so graciously stepped on the student's hand. You didn't expect him to-

"You didn't think I would get jealous, Mademoiselle," He laughed, getting on one knee with a rose in hand that you were sure was from another student's bouquet. "Ah, I take it you enjoyed my gift!~"

Unfortunately, it wasn't long before Rook was scolded by some teachers and Vil himself. As much as you thought he would put up with the punishment, that didn't stop the hunter from bringing you to the final date spot, a quiet, peaceful forest date with your favourite hunter.

[gothicknightz]

The Muse of Mystery — Xavier Thorpe.

:: will be a part two. the reader has an undeclared but really cool power xavier being xavier. 

You were an Addams, the name on its own big enough to speak for itself.

Wednesday’s twin, older only by three months, you were the first sent to Nevermore, having attended a full year before your sister.

Albeit not a psychic, you hid in the shadows, sometimes almost quite literally.

Having a penchant for darkness, you near bathed in the moonlight and allowed the glow to overcome you.

Every cycle, at the height of a full moon, though, you would feel the sensations and energy that came with the night. Drowning in the overflowing lumina.

Your senses would overwhelm you, and by permission of the principal, you were to be monitored in the infirmary; a special sort of machine aiding in the studies of an elusive presence.

But one night, the procedure completely slipped your mind, and your feet found their way to an abandoned shed.

Pulling the door towards you quietly, the light covering you like a blanket, admiring the sight of a tall boy, hair pulled back, painting a canvas of what seemed to be the landscape of Nevermore.

He hadn't acknowledged your presence just yet, not until after the door had closed behind you did he notice.

People seriously needed to lock their doors, especially if they wanted privacy.

“(y/n)?” He jumped, startled by the sound of the door shutting, not losing grip on the paintbrush in hand. “What are you doing here?”

“You can presume I'd ask you the same.”

It took the boy a moment to take in your current form; white hair, ice blue eyes, and a luminous white glow that seemed to be present similar to your hair.

It was a stark contrast from your sister, a temporary form only seen ever rarely by others.

“You, uh, look different- is this a new look or something?”

You shook your head, “Negatory.” You walked closer to the painting, silently observing and judging it at the same time.

“Then what's with the,” He scratched the back of his neck before gesturing to your appearance, “Full moon glow?”

“An Addams family secret.” You said directly, turning away to head back out, as you had wanted to get back to your dorm.

“Hey, wait,” The boy had followed you outside the shed, grabbing you by the wrist before taking a brief form of your luminous glow appearance.

As if he were struck by lightning, he instantly let go and stepped back, “Woah,” he paused, scrunching his eyebrows, “What the hell was that?”

“Like I said,” You stopped in your tracks, turning around to look him in the eye, “An Addams family secret.”

From that night on, your classes at Nevermore academy went on as per usual, but with the presence of the boy from the shed, known as Xavier, becoming more present as time passes on.

One day, after fencing class, Xavier caught up with you, having the same period of instructions as you.

“(y/n),” He called out, causing you to turn around, “Can I ask you something?”

“If it's about fencing, I've had enough of the class already, and would like to return to my dorm.”

A scrunched look on his face, and a dismissive ‘no’ told you it wasn't anything school related.

“There’s a full moon tonight, and I was, uh, wondering if you wanted to go stargazing with me tonight, you know if you'd like.”

Standing in a secluded section of the hall, you were only wary of those who were listening, making sure it wasn't some predisposed plan of trickery.

“My evening seems to be free.”

“Great,” Xavier whispered, “Meet me by the balcony across from the clock tower at eight.”

A full moon tonight was the word that had set you ablaze. You usually stayed monitored within the walls of the infirmary during the end of the cycle, but you figured you could bite it once in a while.

“Going somewhere?” Your roommate had asked, raising a brow, not taking their eyes off of their novel.

“I'm off to stargaze with Xavier tonight, there is a supposed full moon tonight.”

“Great,” They said, turning a page, “I want all the details when you get back.”

“We both know that's not information I'll be networking.”

As you found your way to the balcony, needless to say, an inquisitive Enid was wondering what you were doing outside her single dorm.

“(y/n)!” She had said, climbing out of the secret entrance or exit of the paned glass windows.

“What brings you out here?” Enid had a very specific look on her face, with a Cheshire-like grin, knowing she'd want to pry some gossip out of you.

“Are you meeting with someone?” She asked enthusiastically, “Is it a boy?”

“Enid, your juvenile torments are uneces-”

You were cut short of words as Xavier arrived on the balcony, matching his eyes to yours. “Hey.”

Enid supposedly got the hint, at least what she thought that the night was going to entail, and went back inside to her dorm.

“Hi.” You said quietly before you heard Xavier place a bag on the ground, taking a picnic blanket, alongside a basket out.

“I thought we were stargazing.” You had inquired, sitting down beside him.

“Yes, and no.” Xavier had said, pulling one knee up and resting his arm on it.

“I wanted to ask you a question,” He paused and turned to you, glancing at the palm of his hand quite frequently.

“If it was a question that you needed, you didn't have to go as far as ask me to stargaze with you for it.”

He shook his head, watching as your appearance slowly changed to the white and icy blue glow he had first seen when you stumbled upon his shed.

“This one's more of a personal question,” He had said, scratching the back of his neck as he shifted to face you at a better angle, taking one last final glance at his palm.

“Will you... Will you go to the Rave'N with me?”

You looked into his eyes, “You want me to go to a juvenile dance that happens every single fall semester at a school for supernatural outcasts?”

Xavier chuckled, “That's one way to put it, yeah.”

You had to think about this for a quick moment. The last time you had attended a school dance was when you and Wednesday were ten, and planted voodoo dolls beheaded in each of the student's gift bags.

You were at a completely different school, and a completely different age now, so maybe, things could be different.

“Yes.” You had said, barely batting an eye, “I will go to the Rave'N with you.”

From that moment forward, Enid and Bianca, throughout the irony that they were polar opposites on the social scale, would obsess over your planned look.

“We need to get you the most perfect outfit out there, (y/n)!” Enid exclaimed, “This is an exclusive event only available to Nevermore students, so you have to stand out amongst everyone!”

At first, you were quite wary; putting all your physical and emotional effort into a dance that happened annually sounded overbearing, but nevertheless, your friends still instilled the idea into you.

Day after day, night after night, that's all the student body was gossiping about throughout the halls.

The Rave'N. Non-stop about the Rave'N.

Then the time of the dance came.

As per usual, everyone was dressed in black tie apparel, but this year the theme was midnight pitch. Various shades of blue, purple, and magenta were accepted, alongside the dark shade of black.

As with everyone else, you were on the theme, although your outfit had hints of blue, magenta, and purple, the main focus of your attire was black.

Funny how things work out.

You opened the door to see Xavier in a plum velvet suit, his tie black, and the under button up a light shade of baby blue. His hair was pulled back into a small bun, with small strands falling in front of his face.

“Wow.” Were the words that fell out of his mouth when he saw you. To him, you looked incredulous, and he never thought he'd been catching feelings for you, but this time, he would shamelessly admit it.

To your bemusement, you actually enjoyed the dance, taking in the midnight glory in an environment that surrounded you with people. With Xavier on your right, and Enid to the left of you, you were having the most fun you could've expected out of the Rave'N.

The theming was spectacular; the ball floor now looked like the inside of a genie lamp mixed with the workings of a midnight sky. You couldn't believe it. Nevermore was actually holding out their grounds on being a self-proclaimed ‘revolutionary’ school.

That didn't stop your scope from always thinking the opposite of what you believed, although, you felt as if where you were was the perfect place to be.

You didn't care at all, you felt free, and you felt like at any moment you could ascend to a never-ending eternal bliss.

The pure irony in that? The moon had other plans.

As you danced and mindlessly enjoyed yourself much to the normal mordant, reclusive personality of you and your sister, that hallucinating white glow and blue eyes came back.

The white hair contrasted against the black dress, making you stand out more than you need to.

You didn't even realize the fact you were glowing until you unconsciously locked hands with Xavier and saw that he too, was glowing as bright as a full moon.

All eyes were drawn to you both.

Never in a thousand years, or at least within the history from the establishment point of Nevermore, had there been such a student as you were.

Enid made some sort of noise as she looked over you both, “G-guys…. You're glowing!”

At first, you were washed with a wave of confusion; you, glowing? That had only occurred when a full moon was present, and lately, you've been careless in your attempts to contain and hide whatever this beautiful curse was from the world, with Xavier and your own family knowing of what would happen.

It hit you sooner than anything else had, and as fast as a sports car going down the freeway.

The spotlight was put on you both, and instinctively, you pulled away from him, but a small, fruitless attempt did not work.

Both you and Xavier were still glowing, and your worst fear had come true.

You ran off and away from everyone, finding yourself at that same balcony Xavier had asked you to go to the Rave'N on. The same balcony where you two would go hide after everyone has gone asleep; which was a harder task as you normally went through Enid's room to get there.

You only wanted a small number of people to know your secret midnight glow, nonetheless little to no one to know.

But there it was, at the Rave'N, where everybody found out.

Sitting down on the balcony, you were close to crying, nearly, but you wanted to more than you should.

The glow lit up the area around you, causing you to pick up a rock and scream, being disappointed in yourself for not concealing whatever that state of the lumen was to the outside world.

You felt the presence of someone next to you, and you looked over your shoulder to see Xavier sitting beside you.

“I don't think I could ever show myself at Nevermore again.” You admitted, pulling your knees to your chest and sighing.

“Because of whatever that glow I've been seeing for weeks?”

You nodded solemnly as Xavier scoffed.

“Fuck what they think, it's not your family's opinion so it doesn't mean shit.”

You looked at him, stupor and confusion running through you.

“I know my dad just sent me here because he didn't want to deal with me. Can't be famous without a burnout son he says.” Xavier sighed, “Didn’t need a troubled son to hog out all of the spotlights.”

He then turned to you, “But enough about me,” He paused, “You looked amazing out on that dancefloor. That glow only enhances it.”

You couldn’t believe what he was saying, “Really?” You had asked, scooting closer to him, unraveling yourself out of your former folded position.

“Yes,” He chuckled, “You did. And when all that transfer stuff happened, I looked so cool, thanks to you.”

Xavier stood up, glancing at the sun before extending his hand out to you.

The luminescence of the snow-white glow extended from your body to his, eyes transforming into a pale blue, hair turning into a bright white. 

“I wish I was able to do what you do, (y/n). Whatever it is, it’s extremely cool.” Xavier had admitted, “But there’s one more thing I wanna test out.”

“What?” You asked, unaware of the upcoming situation.

“This.” Xavier smiled before leaning forward to kiss you.

A shock was felt through your body, an electrifying feeling, causing your entire existence to tingle, and for the first time, you finally felt like you transformed.

Xavier must have felt the same shock you had, as he pulled back, a big smile on his face, and a wow escaping his lips.

“You truly are a muse, (y/n.)” He said, cupping your cheek in his hand.

“A muse of mystery.”

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Grunge-Metal Geralt 3

its finally time 😂 after months of staring at an empty google doc i finally had a useful idea - also y’all, go listen to ‘Brighter Side of Grey’ by Five Finger Death Punch bc that’s the song i based this on and its fire and i love it also all of ffdp is one whole witchery mood

Warnging: vague discussion of a car crash where Geralt was severely injured, big emotionaly vulnerability, swearing?, listen to the song then you’ll get the vibes i promise

__________________

“Give them a break, guys,” Eskel sighed as he wrote down his coffee order, “They had a close call. It’s not like they’re always this…”

“Gross. Skel. The word you’re looking for is gross.” Lambert snatched the paper out of his brother’s hand and stalked out of the room with Aiden in tow. 

Jaskier scrunched his nose and called from where he was tucked under Geralt’s chin, “Did we drive them away? I can get up if it’s too much.” Even as he spoke, neither he nor Geralt so much as twitched to make good on the offer. 

“Doesn’t bother me,” Eskel shrugged. 

Lambert and Aiden, mainly Lambert, were getting fed up with Geralt and Jaskier cuddling and cooing and doing general new couple bullshit. Especially since they’d been together three years now. They were recording a collaboration song, meaning everyone had to be there, but it seemed the two vocalists only really cared about each other. Jaskier sat on Geralt’s lap, played with his hair, stole kisses whenever he could… at one point Lambert caught Geralt tracing Jaskier’s lips and forced a coughing fit to get his attention. He probably thought it was subtle, even if no one else did. So to take a break and get some of what he called ‘patience juice’ (coffee), Lambert ran to their favorite coffee shop while Eskel laid down his bass line. 

It’s not that they were intentionally this annoying, not all the time at least. After the car crash, especially once Geralt started doing well in his physical therapy, the couple just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Not to say that was the only relationship Geralt was suddenly extra involved in, it was just the most noticeable. 

Finally, after tea and coffee was distributed to everyone it was time for Geralt and Jaskier to, well, do their jobs. Jaskier was fidgeting and humming little scales, doing anything to calm the sudden nerves he felt bubbling up in his stomach. 

“You alright?” Geralt purred, nudging him with his elbow as they stood side by side at their respective microphones. When Jaskier only shrugged he continued, “What's wrong?” 

“I’m just not used to so many people being here while I…” Jaskier motioned to the mic before glancing around him and taking a deep breath, “it’s a vulnerable song…” 

Geralt’s worry lines in his forehead melted as he pulled Jaskier into his arms, “I can kick them out if you want?” he whispered. 

Shaking his head and inhaling Geralt’s scent deeply, something Jaskier had learned not to take for granted, he steeled his nerves, “I’ll be fine. Maybe a little weepy, but fine.”

As they were about to start, listening to the instrumental track and humming their parts of the song, Lambert brought Jaskier a bottle of water and set it on his music stand. He gave him a quick side hug and kissed his hair, offering a small “sorry” for all his teasing. Jaskier just giggled in response, the kind that only bubbles over from too much anticipation. He missed it, but Geralt mouthed a small ‘thank you’ to Lambert as he sat back down on the other side of the glass. 

Jaskier hooked his pinky around Geralt’s as the guitar intro started, needing that little bit of contact for the first line. When they’d written it it felt perfect. The audience knew exactly what kind of song they were about  to hear and Geralt really hadn’t known if he would pull through. It took Jaskier right back to the dimly lit hospital room where he scrawled and scratched out lyrics to keep Geralt distracted from his upcoming surgery. The fear, the desperation, the little pockets of joy when they forgot where they were, the overwhelming love that Jaskier thought he’d never be able to fully give to Geralt all crept back up his throat as he took a breath for that stupid fucking first line. 

His voice cracked partway through as he sang, making him fully grip Geralt’s hand, “I’m writing this in case I’m gone tomorrow,” By some miracle, he found his support for the next line, “I’m writing this in case I’ve moved along,”

For a moment he thought he’d gotten over the worst of it. A couple lines passed in relative ease, emotional but not so much it interfered with his craft. If he focused on looking at his microphone and keeping his breath supported he might make it through. Then Geralt joined him for the chorus. 

“When the lights go down, Know that I am never far away. When the sun burns out, I’ll be waiting on the brighter side of grey.” 

His harmony faltered and he involuntarily heaved a broken gasp in the middle of a line, desperately trying to focus on the mic that was now warped by the tears in his eyes. 

Geralt broke off after the first word of his verse, turning to Jaskier and pulling him in again, “You alright, love?”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry,” Jaskier groaned in embarrassment as he clung to Geralt’s frame, “I’m being a baby. I wasn’t even the one hurt.” 

“No you’re not,” Geralt argued, running his knuckles over Jaskier’s cheeks to wipe away his tears, “Here,” he moved their mics and stands close enough that they were shoulder to shoulder and their fingers could comfortably lace together. 

Jaskier squeezed his hand gently and gave him a brave smile, “From the top?” 

“From the top.”

This time Jaskier tried watching Geralt as they sang. He made it through the first chorus and got to just watch as Geralt sang his verse. The pang of emotion in his chest was still ever present, but it was manageable. Until he noticed Geralt having trouble. 

On “All you get to keep is what you’ve shared,” Geralt squeezed his eyes closed and his grip on Jaskier’s hand tightened. The folk singer prepared, relaxed, readied himself to take a breath in. He was expecting that one to hurt after how much Geralt insisted upon it. How he threatened to get out of that hospital bed and scribble the line himself if Jaskier didn’t put it in. He wasn’t expecting the last line of the stanza to hurt. It had been comforting to the both of them at the time.

Geralt’s lip quivered and his voice was almost pinched as he sang out, “Remember no one ever really dies.”

Even being the one to write the melody, Jaskier missed the first three notes of the chorus, “Fuck. Shit. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that was on me,” Geralt sniffed and chuckled, “I knew you’d lose it if I did.”

“How do you do this?!” Jaskier exclaimed, chugging half the water bottle to keep the breakdown at bay. 

Aiden’s voice came over their headphones, “Half our songs are his trauma and another quarter are group trauma. He’s got practice sweetheart.”

They tried a couple more times, even got through the whole song once with only minimal tears and one tasteful cracked note. But it was still a struggle for Jaskier to keep it together, and the more they sang, the more Geralt lost his iron grip on his composure. 

“Look at me,” Jaskier instructed, moving Geralt to face him and adjusting their mics so they could sing to each other, “Just like when we wrote it. Except a little less pain.” 

The joke earned a snort out of Geralt, exactly what Jaskier was aiming for, “This is supposed to be easier?”

“We can try?”

Jaskier did wonderfully for his verse, singing to Geralt was familiar and safe, even if the subject matter was terrifying. The chorus went well, but as soon as Geralt started to sing, Jaskier couldn’t exhale and it was all he could do not to sniff and ruin the take. 

“If you’re hearing this I know you’re probly scared,” had tears falling down his cheeks again and Geralt’s voice cracked as his eyes welled up, “Nope,” he choked, “that’s worse. Much worse.”

“Fuck,” Jaskier gave a watery giggle as he wrapped his arms around Geralt’s middle, “Why did we decide to do this again?”

Geralt pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s hair, sniffling and holding him tight, “I think we’re sadists.”

“Back to back,” Eskel’s voice crackled in their ears, “Try it back to back.” 

Leaning back to watch Jaskier’s reaction, Geralt hummed, “Do you want to? Or do you need a break?”

“Fuck it,” Jaskier shrugged, spinning Geralt around and following suit as he moved his equipment. 

As they stood waiting for the tech to start the audio, Jaskier felt like he could really inhale for the first time all day. Geralt was there, he could feel his ribs expand against his back and his fingers tapping like a metronome on Jaskier’s palms. This is what they were missing when they wrote the damn song. The comfort of knowing someone is always at your back, that they’ll be there when it’s hard and even when you’re separated. 

A warmth spread through Jaskier as the intro started and he felt ready. He still pressed back into Geralt on the harder lines, reminding himself he was still there, but they both made it through two full takes. 

On the final one, as the recording of the softly picked guitar faded out, Jaskier couldn’t help but repeat two more lines, “When the lights go down, Know that I am never far away.”

His voice hung in the air for a beat, the sense of finality reverberating through the studio and bringing everything else to a stand still. 

Geralt was the first to breathe, “Shit, we made it.”

“We fuckin made it,” Jaskier huffed, emotionally drained but immensely satisfied as he turned to hug Geralt from behind and press his cheek to his spine, “I love you.”

“I love you too. Let’s get a snack?”

“Yeah.”

When the sound tech played the potential mix for the first time, he tacked on an echoing, distant sounding recording of their conversation. Everyone looked at each other and nodded, goosebumps on their arms and that feral sparkle in their eyes that every artist gets when they’ve stumbled on something really exciting. They re-recorded some guitar and drums, but they kept the vocals exactly the same. 

For the album art they wrote “I love you” on the tattered hospital stationary that had the lyrics and chords written on it and took a picture. Jaskier had the original framed and hung in their house as a little reminder. 

[embrassemoi]

𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

Pairings: Sirius B, F!Reader, Remus L    Content: swearing, angst, no proofreading, filler? A/N: i hope your week has been great so far xx

【 Masterlist | Previous Chapter | ao3 】

Chapter 35 ✷ Picture’s Up

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James couldn't recall a time where he felt so drained.

He didn’t even think there was a word to encapsulate just how drained he really felt. Every day, there was a wariness that sunk and immersed itself so deeply within his bones that made it feel like he could hardly breathe.

Day by day, it felt like a part of his sanity was cracking.

Enervated, drowsy, exhausted, knackered, dead on his own two feet… he could go on.

Prefect duties were as dreadful as Remus had said they were and James regretted every time he ever made fun of him for it. It was miserable and karma never hit him harder. Monitoring detentions and rounds were tedious, the tests he had to grade were mind-numbingly boring; all forcing him to lose the little sleep he had.

And then there were the loads of Quidditch practices that once were fun, a way for him to exert his remarkable supply of energy, only became a bit of a nuisance with the overwhelming activities he was forced to juggle.

Working around Moony’s moon cycle...

And then there was the fucking Black family.

The mere mention of their names sent James into a spiral. He’d rather submerge himself into the Black lake and let the giant squid ink all over him than deal with them. But there he was.

He debated for a while, whether or not to tell Black about Regulus but refrained. He was far too stubborn to listen and could make matters worse.

James sighed, leaning into the couch in the common room, running his fingers through his hair.

“Potter.” The ring of Lily’s voice sounded through his ears. James turned around to look at her, feeling his heart accelerate.

“Evans,” he greeted.

“We have rounds in a bit. Don’t be late.”

James simply nodded, not having enough energy to put on a front.

And of course Lily noticed. She noticed his frazzled appearance and lack of energy. There was hardly any banter between them and Lily would’ve thought it was a miracle that his annoying self had vanished, replaced with timorous energy. But if anything, it was disquieting.

She bit the inside of her cheek, forcing out, “Hey, you alright?”

He gave a little audible sound in response. “Yeah. I’ll be there. I just need to make a few arrangements quickly. Meet you by the... Prefects’ bathroom?”

Lily considered him.

“... See you.”

James made his way out of the common room, slipping out the Marauder’s Map. He’d been tracking Regulus’ movements for the past few days now and the only person he went to was Y/N for any substantial amount of time.

He truly had no one else and it ruled out any potential bullying.

Walburga and Orion… Their treatment towards him shocked James. Golden boy Regulus, who would’ve thought?

But even with the Marauder’s Map, it was impossible to keep track of him. He never stayed in one spot long enough to catch, aside from the dungeons and Slytherin common room.

Everything regarding Regulus’ situation forced James to think strenuously. If he were to accidentally say too much of what Whiskers had told him, not only would Regulus close himself off to him, but to her too, leaving them with no clue of his well-being.

And it forced him to worry about Whiskers. She didn’t know what she's getting herself into… What if Walburga and Orion caught word of their friendship?

James shuddered, pushing away the thought. He didn’t want to think about what would happen to either of them.

He continued to watch Regulus’ name travel across the map before ascertaining he was close. He tapped on the map, muttering out ‘Mischief managed’ whilst bolting down the hallways. Each twist and turn exhilarated a nervous adrenaline thumping through his veins as he rehearsed a little speech inside his head.

Before Regulus had time to process what was happening, James had already yanked him back, disappearing into one of the secret passageways.

“What the — Potter?!” He squawked. Pushing him away, James saw the pure panic washed over his features through the shadows.

“I know we don’t have much time,” James rushed, “But hear me out.”

He made no attempt to move but looked around for other students.

“You’ll always have a home with me,” James said easily as if it was the most obvious answer. “With Bla — Sirius — living with me, you’re more than welcome to as well. I understand your situation and —”

“No,” Regulus leered, “I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” James challenged before easing up. “My family and I are more than willing to protect you, like how we’ve been doing for Sirius.”

And then it stayed silent for a while and he finally let himself take in his appearance.

“Regulus, what happened to you?”

Regulus’ head hung. “All I wanted was to have long hair.”

And then it clicked for James, but he was running out of things to say that were convincing and felt a familiar panic return.

“You miss him, right?” He tried. “I know he misses you. If maybe —”

But when Regulus’ mood suddenly changed, James knew instantly that he had miscalculated.

“Miss me?” Regulus laughed bitterly. “He doesn’t miss me and he has never considered me his brother. You, Lupin, Pettigrew — you’re his brothers.”

He could see the misty tears welding up in Regulus’ eyes and didn’t make a move to stop him when he stormed out from the passageway.

Once Regulus was free from James, he sprinted, blinking multiple times to prevent tears from seeping out. An ache burned inside his chest as he found himself diving into his bed, pulling the curtains shut.

Those unforgettable questions that plagued his mind for a year now played heavily in his mind, like his own personal film.

What made someone good or bad? What did he believe in? Was he strong enough to break from his mould or did he want to? And most importantly, what was he willing to do?

Blood purity…

Regulus closed his eyes. He wished life was a dress rehearsal and there were times to make mistakes and have do-overs without permanent repercussions. To get time to practice and refine life until he explored every avenue. Unfortunately, life had no room for anything but the final performance. Every stumble, every mishap or memory slip was presented to a live audience day by day.

Reopening his eyes, he had his answer.

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A few weeks went by and September was coming to a close. October came with beautiful colours and a chilly breeze.

It felt like every day, Y/N added another reason to be disgruntled and hateful onto her list. It had been a month since she’d last seen her mother and she refrained from sending any letters; waiting patiently to see if she would make the first move.

Nothing.

It was safe to say that it put her into a bad mood that morning.

The walk to Defence Against the Dark Arts with Lily was a quiet one and slightly uncomfortable. However, the uncomfortable bit was more on Lily’s end rather than Y/N who was too wrapped in her anger-induced thoughts.

These days, their lessons were almost exclusively in the Duelling room, filled with practical lessons. Especially today, she was beyond thankful for; eager to have an outlet.

But Professor Elway was unusually keen on inviting her to the Duelling sessions. She was almost as difficult as dodging Slughorn’s Slugclub invites. Luckily, Y/N liked Elway and duelling was electrifying. Even potion making, no matter how much she enjoyed it, was lengthy and mundane.

Mentioning their professor, she wasn’t there that morning when they arrived outside the Duelling room. The students lounged outside the door, taking out their books and wand while they waited.

Remus found himself drifting to her as they quietly chatted away.

“Like your sweater,” she said. In the background, she could hear Marlene and James yelling, “It’s a jumper!”

Remus smiled. “This old thing?” Pointing to the sweater that she knitted. They both giggled a bit; Remus leaned slightly against her, eyes lingering a beat.

“Sorry, I’m late!” Elway called out to them in a dreamy voice. “Everyone, follow me!”

Puzzled, the class looked at each other as they followed their professor away from the dungeons. While they walked, rude and unbearable, Peeves the Poltergeist floated upside down. Once he spotted Remus, he immediately drifted up to him, opening his mouth, no doubt about to hurl all sorts of names or songs at him.

Remus hardly looked at him, already taking out his wand and said lazily, “Waddiwasi!” at Peeves.

A wad of gum shot out from nowhere and landed directly on Peeves before he whirled back from Remus, spewing curses at him.

“Nice one! Ought to teach me that later!” “Almost feel bad for the bloke!” Both James and Peter said at the same time.

Elway had led them outside to a desolate area, free from a canopy of branches and leaves.

“Now, my pupils!” She sang. “You might be wondering, ‘what are we doing out here?’ Lucky for you, we’re going to be practicing a few spells and learning how to fight using other means during duels.”

Like most of the class, Emmeline was ​skeptical as she raised her hand. “I thought we weren’t supposed to use physical means during duels?”

“Precisely,” said Elway, walking back and forth in front of the class. “Couldn't have said it better myself. But you know who won’t give a damn?”

There was a long pause for effect.

“Your enemies.” She clapped her hands together. “Now, can anyone give us some ideas? How about… Miss L/N?”

Blinking a few times, she hesitated, not expecting to be called on. “Er — you can… take them from the legs?”

“Wonderful idea! I’m thrilled you said that! Does anyone else want to add on?”

Remus raised his hand, answering politely. “Using your arms — stretching them.”

Professor Elway nodded away happily. “Wonderful answer! Take five points! Like Remus said, stretching your arms out or boarding your shoulders, spacing out your legs can widen your defence range! Why don’t we try?”

She called Remus up first and Y/N could tell he was slightly nervous. He doubled down, making himself seem smaller by hunching over and made sure not to accidentally hurt their professor.

A couple of Hufflepuffs, Slytherins and then James, Marlene and Lily all tried; mimicking Elway as she let them knock her over.

“Most importantly,” Elway said, dusting off her robes free from leaves and dirt. She panted a bit, tired from being knocked down multiple times. “Never let the enemy strike first. You all did fantastically!

“Obviously, in any professional setting, you’ll be disqualified if you ever tried to physically attack your opponent. But you can still play dirty in a duel!

“The charm Obscuro has been helpful on several occasions. It blindfolds your opponent. Please repeat after me: Ob-SKOO-roh!”

“Obscuro!”

“Excellent!” Elway gave a little applause, filled with glee. “Another spell that I love is the Confundus charm. Y/N! May you please explain to us the purpose of the Confundus charm?”

“She’s calling on you an awful lot,” Lily muttered.

She nodded a bit. “It confuses your oppent. The varying degree depends on how much magic is put into the initial casting.”

“Perfect! Five points to Gryffindor. If you will tell me about Incendio.”

As she spoke, there was almost a switch that went off in Elway that made her incessantly happy that almost unnerved her.

“Beautiful! Now if you may, help demonstrate the spell?”

“I don’t want to hurt —”

“Trust me, you won’t.”

Then, Y/N felt a deep lurch of fear as everyone retreated against the trees, giving her a clear view of Professor Elway opposed to her, waiting to block her spell.

She took a deep breath in, pushing up the sleeves of her robes, she held her wand.

Professor Elway had a protective spell around her. “One, two, three — now!”

“Incendio!” Only meek sparks shot out of her wand. A few students snickered while her friends were seen trying to drown them out by clapping.

“That was amazing!” Peter called out.

“I wouldn’t be able to do that on the first go!” Marlene shouted.

“That was good! Try again! One, two, three — go!”

“Incendio!” Nothing noteworthy happened. It was embarrassing.

“It’s alright, try again!” Elway said, not letting her go yet. “Think about something that’s motivating!”

Y/N closed her eyes, inhaling deeply and pondered. What was motivating to her? Surely, the want to continue with magic after school was motivating. Or perhaps proving someone wrong?

Proving someone wrong…

She had a lot to prove to her mother.

Instead of her being motivated, a flicker of annoyance and anger flooded her instead. Sensing the change, Elway beamed, her wand held high.

“One —”

Her mother always prioritized everyone and everything above her —

“Two —”

Was never there when it mattered —

“Three —”

There was never much affection. The constant want to please, the low self-esteem made her feel worthless, unloveable, always wanting to run when she got too close — she caused it —

“Now!”

“Incendio!” She bellowed.

A loud crack rippled through the air and caused her to stumble back. A large blast of orange and red flames shot out from her wand. Scorching heat flooded out, causing all the students to jump back as Elway shot waves of water, extinguishing the flames at once. As angry as she had been, glee and pure enjoyment replaced that quickly.

Once the bell rang, the students gathered up their belongings, leaving for their next class. But Elway took a moment, calling out her name, asking that she stay back for a few moments.

James and Lily staggered behind, offering to wait as they talked quietly under one of the willow trees.

They were so civil these days…

“I would’ve offered you a cup of tea,” Elway spoke as she approached her. Her foot tapped against the ground, her eyes far-away, thinking thoughtfully with a sly smirk. “Has anyone told you that you would make for an excellent, excellent duellist?”

Her eyebrows raised and shook her head.

That only prompted her teacher to smirk, in a satisfied sort of way. “You’re exceptionally strong for someone with no experience.”

There was a smug tone to Elway’s voice and she couldn’t quite place what she was getting at.

“Did you know that any professional duellist would kill for your wand? Or even the slight edge you have against them with your talent?”

“Erm… no?” Y/N said. She wondered if Elway needed glasses because surely, she wasn’t referring to herself. “Professor… are you sure you’re talking to the right student?”

She laughed so hard that she had to clutch her stomach tightly. She ignored her question. “My dear, do you have any ideas of what you want to be when you’re older?”

“Not really.”

“I have a proposition for you,” she beamed, flicking her long blonde, almost silver hair out of the way. “Let me take you under my wing, make you into a proper duellist.”

Y/N blinked. She didn’t know what to say and stood there with her mouth gaped.

“Yes, you heard that correctly.” Professor Elway teased. “I’d love to mentor you.”

She sputtered, positively confused and flustered. “I’m not at the top of the class, I struggle with Charms, I’ve never had a huge interest in it — I don’t know the first thing about duelling!”

“That’s what I’m here for, no? And your skill is exceptional and I know a duellist when I see one. You’ve shown the last few lessons that you’re capable of casting very strong spells.

“And do you know what separates a duellist from the masses? Energy, emotions and power. What changed when I told you to think about something motivating? A powerful Duellist may only be out of sheer power and brunt force, but a well-rounded Duellist listens to every part of their body. Their wand, their heart, the emotions that cause them to fight.”

“But —”

Elway flicked her wrist, mildly interested in her excuses. “Anyway, off to your next lesson. Take some time to think about it,” she smiled, clearly not going to take no for an answer. “I’ll be waiting for when you finally agree.”

Both Lily and James took her arms, hooking it with theirs and walked to Potions. They were staring at her, lost for words at Professor Elway’s proposition.

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“Yes, Pettigrew.” McGonagall scolded rather harshly. “The essay is due on Monday.”

Peter averted his gaze, grumbling out a thank you before exiting her office. “Dunno why she’s so strict with me.”

“She wants the best for you,” James tried to encourage as they all headed back to their common room.

Y/N couldn’t care less as she thought about later that night. No matter how hard she tried, Slughorn wouldn’t take no for an answer and she was almost forced to make an appearance at the Slugclub.

Lily was so excited, running through their dorm as she got ready.

Marlene sulked a bit, folding her arms across her chest. She was quiet enough for Lily not to hear, but Y/N heard her clear as day. “That’s not fair. I want to be invited. I want to feel special too.”

“You’re more than special,” Dorcas cut in, rubbing a hand up and down her shoulder. “You’re a star, baby.”

Y/N ignored them, fiddling with a small tube of eyeliner, watching Lily excitedly going through her closest.

Luckily, not only would Lily be there, but Remus, most likely Regulus — however, she doubted they would be able to interact — and funnily enough, James was invited too.

Inside the actual party was decent, a lot better than she expected. There were still the uptight students who thought they were above others, or the Purebloods that judged her when she walked into the room, but it was bearable.

Y/N chuckled as she watched Remus throwback drink after drink, sneakily stealing a few alcoholic beverages meant for the adults. His movements were so discreet that nobody ever suspected him.

She covered her smile behind her glass.

“Hi. It’s been awhile.”

Y/N turned around, and there, Aldrich McLaggen stood wearing a little smile. He trimmed his blond hair to sweep nicely and his cheekbones hallowed out.

“It has. And congratulations, I heard you’re on the Quidditch team.”

“Yes! Chaser - taking over Bell’s position.”

“So… How are you?”

If it was even possible, Aldrich’s smile grew wide. “I’ll be a lot better if I saw your smile tonight?”

She didn’t smile; unimpressed and decided to sip on her drink.

“Yeah,” Aldrich began again, “Didn’t think that would work.”

“A pretty big miss.” She grumbled.

“But I’m getting to know how to impress you in the future.”

Y/N turned to side-eye him. “Hmm? How?”

“How about -” And out of nowhere, he reached behind her ear and pulled out a red rose, handing it to her. Much like a Muggle magician.

She felt a coy smile tug at her lips and forced it down, but failed. “Nice one.”

“Everyone! Please come down and sit!” Slughorn announced, calling to all the students.

He beamed, flashing his teeth. “Don’t hide away again. I’d love to see you again.”

She tilted her head at him, tilting her glass before making her way to find her spot at the table.

The girl beside her had frizzy light brown hair and large glasses that looked like they were from an animated children’s television program. She was draped in a colourful shawl.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.”

But the other young witch smiled brightly, although never quite meeting her eyes as she outstretched her hand. “Sybill Trelawney.”

She shook Sybill’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

But then Y/N took a good look at her and realized, “We’re in the same charms class, right?”

Sybill nodded her head, fingers tapping rapidly on the table. “For two years now. I sit a row behind you. And by the way, you're very pretty.”

She was taken back, a genuine smile spreading over her lips. “Thank you, you look lovely too! I adore your glasses.”

A light blush spread across Sybill’s face, her hand brushing against her glasses. Her eyes peered up for a second before averting her gaze. Y/N couldn’t help but smile, already enjoying Sybill’s presence.

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【 Next Chapter 】

© gotkindabored 2021. Do not repost or modify

[jikyuz]

birthday present ✰ t. mashiho (m)

✦ pairing: soft dom!mashiho x gn!reader ✦ watch out for: dirty talk, a lap dance, praise, no actual sex but mentions of it ✦ words: 1.6k ✦ a/n: aaa i'm very nervous posting this as it's the first full scenario i've written in a while ;-; i'm not sure if this is good or not so please be easy on me, i promise i will get better !! i hope you like it anonnie, thank you for requesting and feedback is always appreciated ^_^ ✦ listen to while reading: dangerous woman by ariana grande

It wasn’t long before you finished the last of the preparations for the night that you got a text from your boyfriend saying he would be home soon. It had been a long day for him, and you could tell by his lack of heart emojis or punctuation that he was tired. Although it was his birthday, he still had a lot of things to do, including preparing for their Japanese debut. You only hoped he wasn’t too tired for your present.

“My love?” Mashiho’s voice was soft, almost too soft for you to hear him from the bedroom. Sweat accumulated on the back of your neck as you shifted from foot to foot, waiting for your boyfriend to follow the petals that you had masterfully placed leading to where you stood.

Instead of answering him, you waited silently, listening as he set his bag down, took off his shoes and mumbled to himself about something you couldn't quite make out. Footsteps slowly came closer, stopping every few feet as you assumed Mashiho was following the rose petals. It had been a long time since you surprised him like this and a shoot of electricity went through you at the thought of his reaction.

“Y/N? Are you - oh, wow.” As Mashiho walked into the doorway, he stopped in his tracks, mouth gaping open and eyes trailing up and down your body. It took a long while and a lot of digging but you found a really sexy outfit to wear, completely silk and honestly you felt amazing in it, not to mention that the silk made it really soft. It was one of your boyfriends favorite colors on you, a deep red that he claimed only accentuated your beautiful figure. You always got shy whenever he mentioned it but you kept that fact in the back of your mind for nights like this.

“Happy birthday, Mashi.” You smiled, your nails clicking against the wood of the chair that sat in front of you. It faced the doorway, inviting your boyfriend to take a seat and you watched as Mashiho observed the situation, his gaze flicking from the chair back to your body and then up to your face. His eyebrows raised in intrigue and you patted the seat of the chair. “Take a seat, baby. I have a present for you.”

There wasn’t much hesitation, his legs automatically guiding him into the room. You watched as he turned to face away from you, sitting down and placing his hands on his thighs. Anticipation bubbled up inside you as you walked around the chair, your legs grazing your boyfriends as you leaned down so your face was inches away from him.

“Just sit back and enjoy the show baby.” Your hands started at his jeans, fingers playing with the rips as you leaned forward just enough to connect your lips. He had a slight smile, his hands grabbing your waist suddenly and making you straddle his lap.

His eyes held a deep passion that had your legs feel like they were turning to jelly. Your skin felt like it was on fire as Mashiho smiled up at you, a smile that sent a shiver through you and almost made you submit to every word that fell from his mouth. Except you remembered that it was his present and you needed to stand your ground.

You lifted yourself from Mashiho’s lap, turning away from him and walking over to the bedside table which held a small speaker and your phone. The playlist lit up as soon as you unlocked your phone and you smirked, hitting the shuffle button and turning back around as soon as the soft bass filled the air.

The atmosphere shifted from playful to completely serious as you slowly strutted back to your boyfriend. He sat with his legs slightly spread, leaning back in the chair and his eyes bore into your own. His gaze was captivating, wordlessly drawing you in. it was like he had a spell on you, his lap inviting you and you obeyed.

As you walked you swung your hips to the beat, your eyes closing as you enjoyed the way the music made you feel. Paired with the way Mashiho was looking at you like you were the only person on earth, you felt powerful and a strong surge of confidence overwhelmed you.

Dropping down on your knees, you did what you practiced, throwing your head back and exposing your neck. The necklace that Mashiho gave you on your one year anniversary sat nicely between your collarbones. In front of you there was a sharp inhale of breath and you fought back a smirk at the thought of how much you were affecting Mashiho.

The beat of the song changed and you began crawling forward, looking up through your eyelashes at the man sitting before you. One of his hands rested on the bulge of his pants, palming himself. The smirk on his face was nothing except amused and aroused, his teeth tugged at his bottom lip and he beckoned you forward with just the flick of his finger.

As soon as you sat down in his lap, both of Mashiho’s hands planted on your waist. He could have guided you, pushed and pulled your body just as he wanted but he chose to let you take the reins, with the imprint of his hands still searing into your sides.

“Start what you finished, don't need no hold up.” The man beneath you whispered, obviously referencing the song playing but just the way he spoke made you almost turn to jelly. The strings inside you didn’t come loose, however, you pulled yourself together, letting the music guide you.

Grabbing his shoulders you began rotating your hips, a small shock of pleasure running through you. Although you knew you could submit to the man below you, letting him take you and give you whatever you wanted but this was about him, and you pushed your own needs aside to make sure Mashiho was getting a great present.

“Fuck.” Mashiho whispered under his breath, watching as you scooted closer to him, feeling his bulge right under you and biting your lip as you pressed yourself down onto him. The music around you only pushed you more and your hands moved on their own accord, pulling at Mashiho���s shirt and eventually getting it off.

His skin was flushed, abs on display as you bent down, pressing kisses to his neck. Long breaths came from your boyfriend, his head tilting back and letting you do whatever you pleased. The music was still leaking into every crevice of the room and your hips still rotated in small circles.

As another song began, you stood up, keeping one hand on Mashiho’s shoulder and walking behind him. Your fingernail traced a muscle in his neck, satisfaction running through you when he twitched slightly, obviously affected by what you were doing. The bass surfed through your veins, controlling your every movement as your other hand threaded through Mashiho’s hair, pulling back slightly and making eye contact with him. His eyes were deep, controlling and incredibly serious.

“Come here, love.” His voice was just above a whisper and if it weren’t for the music being on a low volume, you weren’t sure you would have heard him. The crossroads appeared before you, obey Mashiho or go against his command. The thought of being just slightly in charge of the situation was charming but it was a present, you wanted to give Mashiho exactly what he wanted.

So you walked around once more, swinging your leg around and gasping when Mashiho’s hands kneaded at the flesh of your thighs. His gaze was captivating, a rich black color that seeped into your bones. There was silence for a moment, the only sound being the music playing and the audible breaths that the man underneath you took but it didn’t last much longer.

“Keep dancing, you’re doing so well.” Heat seared through your body at his words. He knew you liked being praised, especially when it was something so new to you so he used his knowledge of you and your body to his advantage, his fingers still absentmindedly rubbing your thighs. “Show me what you learned, y/n.”

All of a sudden it was like the music overcame you and you threw your head back, leaning backwards as you left your whole body on display for Mashiho. Knowing the effect you had on him had you even more aroused, loving that he was enjoying himself.

So you danced like nothing was holding you back, your hands exploring your own body as well as Mashiho’s, whom had removed his jeans when you stood up once more. As he sat in just his boxers, his bulge even more visible, you finally settled back in Mashiho’s lap, your breath coming out in ragged breaths as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Dancing was exhausting and a small drop of sweat traveled down your back.

“Love,” Mashiho’s voice surrounded you, his thumbs rubbing circles just above your hip bone, his change in tone indicated one thing and one thing only; you had had your fun and now he was the one in charge. “Thank you for the present but as much as I love watching you, I really just want to fuck your brains out.”

Mashiho stood up from the chair suddenly, his hands cradling your thighs as they stayed locked around his waist. You were proud of yourself for putting together the present for him but you were out of your mind if you thought it was going to end in anything except this.

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

In the Dark

*Loki x Reader

*Summary: Reader is normally the one to help Loki through restless nights. Now Loki finds out what Reader does when they can’t sleep.

*Warnings: Reader wears glasses; brief mentions of death and loss. Let me know if I missed anything.

*A/N: This is a gender neutral reader fic. I finally finished the Loki series and ugh I love Tom Hiddleston so much.

Tip Jar

**********

Loki had never been good with sleeping. He often ignored his need for rest, refusing to go to sleep until his body caved to exhaustion and forced him. He didn’t like sleeping, not when the nights haunted him with so much loss: the loss of his friends when he betrayed them the first time, the loss of his mother, the loss of who he was, the loss of his own life at the hands of Thanos, the list was too long. Then, when you with your sweet words and soft touches were able to guide him to bed beside you, there were moments where the nightmares turned to his current happiness. The dreams of losing you - whether it be by your death or you tiring of him, it didn’t matter - were perhaps the ones that got to him the most. The other losses he could handle; after all, they’d already happened and he’d experienced them. With your loss, however, he didn’t know how - or even if - he’d be able to survive. So when he woke up from one of those nightmares to the bed only holding a whisper of your warmth rather than you, he was confused and a little scared.

His eyes slowly blinked open, trying to make sense of your absence. As it fully registered that you weren’t actually there, his hand frantically patted your spot, as though trying to see if you’d just moved back a little further in your sleep. However, that rarely happened - you were more likely to cuddle further into his side than you were to move away from him. When he couldn’t feel you, he finally opened his eyes fully, just to see the blanket mussed up on your side. He scanned the room, trying to figure out where you could have gone. Your glasses were still on the nightstand, meaning that you hadn’t fully left the apartment. Your water bottle was missing, and the door was slightly cracked open. Reassured that you’d be back soon, he settled back into the blankets, waiting for you.

When you were gone for ten minutes, Loki began to get worried. It didn’t take you that long to fill up your water bottle, even if you were trying to navigate the apartment in the darkness with your horrid vision. Loki climbed out of bed, wanting to find you just to reassure himself that you were actually still there. He checked the bathroom next to your room just in case, but the door was open and the lights were off. Loki shook his head, going down the hallway to check the kitchen. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw your shadow outlined by the glass door leading to the small balcony. You turned when you heard him, squinting as you made out his form.

“Hey, baby. I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” You asked, still squinting as he walked closer to you.

“Nightmare,” he explained, shaking his head. “You weren’t there when I woke up and I-”

“I’m so sorry,” you said, immediately getting up to wrap your arms around his middle. He was quick to engulf you in a hug, resting his head on top of yours as he grounded himself. You were really here. You were in his arms, still with him, and you weren’t going anywhere. 

“It’s okay, dove. What were you doing?” He mumbled into your hair.

“I went to fill up my water bottle, and I kinda just got distracted by the ways the lights look at night,” you explained. He looked up, looking out the glass door to see what you were talking about. They didn’t look all that different to him, so he looked back down at you. “I forget you have good eyes sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when I have my glasses off, the streetlights kinda do this blurry thing where the edge of the lights like diffuse. I dunno how to explain it since you have good vision,” you told him with a small laugh. “Do you want me to go back to bed with you?”

Loki shook his head, looking back out of the window. “No, I think I’ll be awake for a bit longer. Can we just stay here? I think I’d like to see things as you do for a moment.”

“It’s not much, it’s just sitting here and enjoying the quiet. The world is different when it’s the middle of the night,” you explained, pulling him with you to sit on the ground. You sat with your legs crossed, just looking out at the street in front of you. You loved living in the corner unit, getting to see down the length of the street for as far as your eyes would allow. The lights would blur together in this mess of light yellows and whites, providing the perfect background for your thoughts to wander.

Loki seemed unsure what to do with himself, first imitating your seated position, but then sitting with his legs out in front of him. He shifted beside you every minute or so, disturbing your own peace, until finally you forced yourself into his lap, pulling his arms around you. He looked down at you, confusion evident even as his arms tightened around you. 

“You’re thinking too much, love. Just focus on the lights and let your mind go blank. Think of a song or something to just let your mind stop overthinking,” you explained as best as you could. You often found yourself here when you couldn’t sleep, thoughts overwhelming your mind as you tried to get them to stop. You would sip at your water, your mother’s favorite song playing in your mind but never out loud because that would ruin the experience. It might take a while, but after you successfully cleared your mind, you’d be able to feel the call of sleep making your eyelids heavier and drawing you back to your spot beside your boyfriend.

“I’m not sure I can, Dove. You know I’ve never been good when alone with my thoughts,” he mumbled as though not wanting to disturb the quiet too much.

“You’re not alone. I’m here.” You looked up and pressed a kiss to Loki’s jaw, feeling as he gave you a soft smile in return. You knew this didn’t work for everyone, so you started humming softly to provide some white noise to help ease him into the experience. It was an old song that Steve had introduced you to, but you enjoyed listening to it every now and then as part of your relaxation playlist. Loki’s body slowly started releasing the tension that was there earlier, and though he still held you strong in his arms, you could feel him starting to relax.

After a few minutes sitting there like that, Loki began to see the appeal of this entire ordeal. He always knew you liked looking out at city lights, but for the road ahead to be the only focus for this moment in time, there was just a different feel to it. When you looked at city lights from above, there was the feeling of everything being so small and insignificant, but sitting here in the moment, it was grounding. Loki could feel the lingering effects of the nightmare melt away as he sat here with you in the dark.

Loki didn’t know how long the two of you sat there, but he was content to stay until you told him you wanted to go back to bed. Lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t notice when you stopped humming for him. It took him a while to realize your breathing had deepened, but he was quick to notice when your head slumped against his chest, letting him know that you’d managed to fall asleep just sitting there with him. He smiled fondly at you, taking in your sleeping form. He would be content to stay there and let you sleep, but he knew you wouldn’t be fond of the aches that would undoubtedly plague your body when you woke.

“Dove,” he whispered at first, hesitant to disturb you. When you didn’t move, he figured he would have to actually wake you up. He wouldn’t be able to carry you, not from the sitting position he was in. “Dove, wake up.”

“Hm?” You hummed, barely opening your eyes. “I’m sorry, how long was I asleep for?”

“Not long,” he said, even though he wasn’t sure if it was true or not. “C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

You just nodded, still half asleep as you moved out of his lap to stand up. He grabbed your water bottle before taking your hand, leading you back to your bedroom. Loki put the water bottle next to your glasses where you normally placed it as you climbed into bed, eager to be taken into the comfort of the covers. “Baby, hurry up.”

Loki smiled at your half-asleep demand, quick to follow your orders and climb into his side of the bed. As soon as he was settled in, you scooted over into his side, snuggling your face into his chest. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep again, your breathing enough to lure Loki back into his own slumber.

**********

When Loki woke the next morning, you were already out of bed. He looked over at your nightstand, seeing your glasses missing. Before the slight panic could set in - the nightmare from last night still close enough to make him insecure about your want to be in his life - he heard you making noise in the kitchen. Your noise was enough to calm him, and he was able to go about his morning routine before joining you. You were at the stove cooking breakfast, the song you were humming last night playing softly in the room.

“Hey, baby, I didn’t wake you up, did I?” You asked as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“No, I woke up on my own,” He said, pressing a kiss to your neck. “Is this the song you were humming?”

“Yeah, Steve showed it to me a bit ago.” He hummed in acknowledgement, content to just hold you as you went about making breakfast. “This is gonna sound weird, but did you like sitting there with me last night?”

“I did. It was nice… different. We should do it again sometime,” Loki told you after a few seconds. 

“It’s not the same if you plan it,” you teased him, looking over your shoulder at him briefly. “I normally just do it when I really can’t sleep.”

“Why don’t you wake me up then? That way we can both be awake.” Loki knew you wouldn’t agree to it, especially with how much you’d fought to even get him to sleep the amount he did now. “Okay, bad idea.”

“I’m glad you realize it. I’ll meet you halfway - next time you have a nightmare, we’ll come and sit out here for a bit until your mind calms down, alright? That way we’re both awake anyways.”

“I can agree to that.”

“Great. Now, let go of me so I can serve us. Food’s ready.” Loki laughed at your sudden topic change, but let you go anyways. The second you finished serving the food, though, he took you back in his arms, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. With you here, in his life, he could actually rest; and even when he had trouble resting, he knew you’d be here to help him.

**********

Permanent Tag List: @treatallwithkindness, @laic2299, @delaber

[lueurjun]

𝖯𝖫𝖠𝖳𝖥𝖮𝖱𝖬 𝖡𝖮𝖸. 𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀

“=⌕ lee heeseung x gn!reader. 

⌗ SUMMARY — you meet him under the stars every night, but not a word is exchanged until one fateful moment in the early hours of the morning when platform boy becomes your safe haven. 

. . ⇢ LUEURJUN’S NOTES — this is supposed to be gender neutral but if i slipped up at any point then i do sincerely apologise. this wasn’t proofread and i wrote it at 3 am, but hopefully you enjoy It. 

₊❏❜ WARNING ⋮ within this piece of work is mentions of a breakdown and feeling suffocated. please do not proceed if you are sensitive to such topics. 

2021 @lueurjun.

He’s always there. With his back pressed against the concrete laying in a starfish position, he never moves. He’s there when you arrive and he’s there when you leave hours later — apart of you wonders whether he’s homeless, or whether that spot on the floor offers him more comfort than his own bed.

There’s been a few times where you worried that he had found his place in the sky, but then his foot would twitch and your worries settle. You like to watch him, not in a creepy way, of course, but you like to admire him. Or what you can see of him. You don’t know what he looks like up close, but you know that he has multiple scrapes on his knuckles and a hole in the right sleeve of that brown hoodie he always wears. 

The train tracks are a scary place, especially at night but you feel at ease with him around which is probably not the safest way of thinking since you’ve never directly spoken to him, but he has an aura. One that raises the goosebumps on your arms, he’s intriguing and you would do anything to talk to him just once. 

You’re much too shy to approach him, so you sit a few feet away and you bask in the quiet you’ve found comfort in. It’s four am on the platform, and there’s so many dangers surrounding you but you don’t feel suffocated, not like you do when you’re home. Back there, you feel caged like an animal in a zoo but here, where the trains zoom by and people wander around, you feel free.

It’s 3:56 am when your Converse scuff across the ground and you have tears flowing down your cheeks. Hands tucked away in the pockets of your fleece hoodie, tiny hiccups shake your body. There’s no one around, not a soul in sight to judge you. He’s not even around which shocks you for a brief second before you collapse onto the ground and let the pain exit your body.

You’re in his spot, tear filled eyes glaring up at the same stars he watches every night. You’re a wreck, but you don’t have the heart to care. Life sucks. For weeks you’ve bitten the inside of your cheek and pushed through, forced yourself to be okay but you’re not. You’re not okay and you’re tired, so tired of pretending. 

It’s 4:10 am when you hear the scraping of someone’s shoes come to an abrupt stop. You don’t look at them, instead you carry on crying and pretend like they don’t exist. A heavy sniffle of yours appears to alert them and suddenly, the footsteps are getting closer. They say nothing as they lay down beside you. 

Daring to glance to your right, your sobs catch in the back of your throat when your eyes zone in on the brown sweater with a familiar hole in the sleeve. You try to quiet your cries but they just keep gushing out like water escaping a dam; you’re in pain and you’re having trouble hiding it. 

“You can scream if you want.” His voice lifts into the air and wraps with the wind that carries it away. You turn your head to look at him. His hair is messy and bits fall down casting a shadow across his perfect skin. He isn’t looking at you, and a part of you wishes he was. “It might help relieve the tension. Watch, I’ll go first.” 

Despite his warning, you still flinch when his piercing shrill echos into the night. He’s left breathless when his lungs finally run out of energy but you can tell it felt good to let it out, so you turn and face the sky once more and you scream, just like he had. You muster up every ounce of pain and anger that raged a war inside your body and you projected it into the night. 

He’s chuckling when you finally stop to catch your own breath and you notice that it’s a really nice sound. His laugh. Almost melodic, a tune you could listen to on repeat and not get bored. You want to listen to it more often. 

“How long have you been holding that in?” He asks, finally turning his head to lay his eyes on you. 

This time he’s the one admiring. He knows you. He knows the exact spot you sit in every single night. He knows that you lift your legs onto the bench and hold them close to your chest when you’re feeling cold. He knows you like to look at him and he knows you like to stare at the stars. But he’s never seen you up close. His eyes scan the side of your face, taking in every detail that’s on offer for him. 

Just then, you turn and your eyes fill with surprise when you meet your reflection in his own. You soak in his features down to every last spec and you can’t help but notice the similarities he has to one of a deer. Swallowing back your nerves, you’re the first to look away as his state becomes too much for your rapid heart to handle. 

“Aren’t you gonna ask why I was crying?” You wonder aloud. 

He follows the direction of your stare and shrugs his shoulders. The stars are beautiful tonight, but as the question arises in his mind as to whether they're more beautiful than you, the answer is a firm no. He thinks you’d beat the stars any day. 

“Do you even know why you’re crying?” 

You grow quiet. Did you know why you were crying? Truthfully, you didn’t think so. Maybe there wasn’t a reason at all, maybe you just held so many emotions in that suddenly your mind started to overflow and couldn’t contain the tears no longer. Would that count as a reason? 

“I think you’re overwhelmed and today was your breaking point. I think you just need a friend because none of the ones you have notice how hurt you are.” 

Your hair swings in every direction with the aggressive wind that the passing train brings. But neither of you flinch. Your tears have since stopped and the cold draft freezes them to your skin. With a sniffle, you push yourself up onto your butt and you look down at him. 

You feel broken and you don’t even know why, but it doesn’t matter because somehow he understands. You don’t need to sort through your tornado of thoughts to explain it to him, because somehow he can already read your mind. He knows how you’re feeling and that comforts you in ways you have never felt. 

Sensing that you’re ready to spiral into another emotional breakdown, he spreads open his arms, inviting you to find refuge against his chest. You don’t know this man, but he understands you more than the people you’ve known your whole life. So, you press your cheek against his chest and close your eyes, your breaths falling in sync with his own. 

His arms close around your frail frame and he holds you tighter than you’ve ever been held. 

“What’s your name?” You croak out, smiling when the sound of his heartbeat clouds your mind. 

“Heeseung,” he almost whispers. 

“I’m Y/N. Thank you for being here with me Heeseung.”

He smiles and you swear you feel his heart quicken. “Thank you for letting me.” 

He’s not just Platform Boy to you anymore and you’re not just the admirer to him either. You become a safe haven for one another and personally, you think that’s quite beautiful.

[nessinborderland]

Be Mine (03)

Pairing: Niragi x Reader / Chishiya x Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Omegaverse

Word Count: 4.8k

Summary: You were able to stay unbounded throughout your life. You didn't want an Alpha; you didn't need one. You would rather die than to give yourself to some random male. But the man that saved your life thinks differently.

Warnings: Alpha/Omega, Dubious Consent, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Finger fucking, Rough Sex, Rough Kissing, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Breeding, Pregnancy Kink, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Drama, Developing Relationship, Past Abuse, Scars

Notes: Would like to thank everyone that has been liking, reblogging and commenting on this fic, I see ya’ll and I love you. It means the world to me <3 I’m so glad people are liking my lil Niragi work. My dm’s and ask box are open if you ever feel like saying hi and/or scream over stuff in general with me lol. Enjoy!

AO3 Link        Masterlist

You had woken up to an empty bed the next morning. You had laid there, staring at the ceiling and rewinding every moment of the last twenty-four hours in your head, over and over. How things had changed so fast. How so much had happened already. You didn't know if you should feel sad or relieved by Niragi's absence; you weren't sure if you wanted to face him after what had happened last night. You still remembered the look in his eyes, his promise, how he made you feel. It was all so...overwhelming.

A week has passed without you speaking with Niragi. You barely caught a glimpse of him beside the occasional moments where you see him from afar with his group of militants, usually coming from or going on raids. You tried to talk to him on several occasions, but he was out of sight before you could get close enough. You also changed rooms after that first night, and part of you was hoping to see him barge in to take you back to his room. But it never happened.

He is avoiding you.

That or maybe he is usually that busy. Either way, you don’t like how this whole situation makes you feel. Yeah sure, maybe you aren’t exactly being the most approachable person either, but you are...scared. This is all so new for you. His scent has practically disappeared from your skin, and you can feel yourself getting restless again. Especially when he is close.

You don’t see him, but you can feel his eyes on you. You can smell the peppermint in the air every time he is close. You usually walk around the hotel alone or just stay in your bedroom. Walking around by yourself is nerve-wracking; the constant whispers, the stares, the way people either avoid you or get way too close to you. But you can feel him always close by, watching you.

Chishiya.

You honestly don’t know if you should feel safe or afraid. Afraid that he will use his influence as an Alpha to take you as Niragi did the first time you met. At least Chishiya hasn’t tried hunting you down yet. Even though stalking you around like a cat chasing a mouse isn’t much different.

You’re now in a car with Ann, exhausted, wet from head to toe, but alive. Another game where your skills were evaluated; another game where you won without particularly impressing her. You always feel like you’re alive out of sheer luck and the help of others. It bothers you more than you dare to say. You have already been evaluated in games of Clubs and Diamonds, and you’re sure you would be dead if it wasn’t for Ann and the other players.

You can’t understand how people can be so smart at these hell games. Yes, you were successful at solving the riddle that allowed you to win the game of Diamonds, but since when was that impressive? You would still have been eaten by that shark in the game of Clubs without everyone else’s help.

“How are you holding up, Kenji?” you ask the young man sitting beside you. His arm is bandaged with a t-shirt already drenched in blood and his face is pale. He turns to you with a half-smile.

“Alive, thanks to you,” he says, moaning in pain when the car rides over a bump. “Thank you for that, by the way. For coming back for me.”

“It was the right thing to do.” you shrug with a smile, “Besides, I almost got eaten too.”

You can feel Ann’s eyes on you through the rearview mirror. You wonder what she’s thinking. It’s like you’re back in high school, waiting for an important evaluation. You hate it.

The car finally parks in the Beach’s parking lot and you get out, helping Kenji to his feet before two men come to take him to the infirmary. You’re walking away to get inside when Ann calls your name.

“A lot of people wouldn’t have done what you did,” she says. “That was brave of you. And stupid.”

“Uhh, thanks?” you stand there awkwardly as she seems to assess you through those big sunglasses of hers. “I just-”

“What do you see in him?” she asks after a pause, interrupting you. “You have nothing in common.”

You don’t know what to answer; shared interests and personality traits are not exactly what attracted you to each other. You shrug, “Wolf things I guess.” It’s not exactly something easy to explain. You also would rather not give it too much thought.

Ann hums, shaking her head. “Just be careful,” and walks away before you can even think of an answer.

You’re about to make your way inside when the sound of tires screeching makes you look back. The militants arrived from the games. You instantly see Niragi as he gets out of a vehicle, and you desperately want to approach him. He makes his way to the entrance at a fast pace, rifle on his shoulder as he’s followed by the rest of the militants. His pace falters when his gaze falls on you, but he doesn’t stop as he passes by you without a word.

“Niragi!” you’re calling before you can think twice.

He stops in his tracks, making everyone behind him stop too. More than twenty pairs of eyes lock on you as you stand there, heat growing on your cheeks. Why the hell did I call him, you think to yourself before clearing your throat.

“Hmm, could I speak to you? In private?”

He sighs. “I can’t right now. I’m going back out,” he says in a dismissive tone. You can’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes; you worry if he’s been getting enough sleep lately. “We’ll talk when I get back.” and with that, he turns his back on you and walks away, followed by his group.

He’s definitely avoiding you. You wonder why; was it all the rejecting? Maybe he finally realized you are more trouble than pleasure. Maybe he regrets his promise to you, made in an inebriated state?

It was your disgusting scars, a mean voice in your head whispers.

You flinch. Whatever it is, you hope that he will at least be straightforward and honest with you. Eventually.

You try not to overthink it as you get to your room and go straight to the bathroom, getting rid of your wet clothes before jumping in the warm shower. The thing you probably like the most about the Beach is the showers. That and the good food; there’s always a tray of delicious meals delivered to your room three times a day. You can definitely get used to those small luxuries.

You finish your shower just in time to receive your dinner tray. You eat your meal in bed, a book you found while outside laying open on your knees as you take occasional spoonfuls of your rabbit stew. The sound of laughter and loud talking makes you frown for the third time in half an hour. One of the things you dislike the most about the Beach; the constant partying.

You give up on the book and decide to sleep, hoping that your exhaustiveness will win against the noise of your next-door neighbors.

It does not.

You’re knocking on their door moments later. A man opens the door, clearly beyond drunk, if his breath and slurred speech are anything to go by.

“Could you guys please keep it down?” you ask. "I'm trying to sleep." The man stares you up and down with a smirk, and you give a small step back.

“Yo, guys guess who came to pay us a visit!” he says behind him. You can see three men sitting at a table, playing what you guess is poker, several beer bottles scattered around them. You think you recognize one of them as part of the militants. Maybe coming here wasn’t a good idea after all.

“Isn’t that Niragi’s bitch?” “Ask her if she wants to join us!” is what you hear them say above the laughter. Yes, bad idea. You put your arms around you, wishing you were wearing something more besides your cotton shorts and Niragi’s shirt.

“Listen, just keep the noise to a minimum, that’s all I’m asking.” you quickly say before turning around to walk back to your room. A hand grabs your arm before you can take more than a couple of steps.

“Why don’t you join us?” says the man. His friends stand behind him, a look in their eyes that makes you shiver with apprehension. “We could show you a good time.”

“Thanks but no, thanks, I’m just trying to get some sleep.”

“You can sleep here, we don’t mind.” he retorts with a pull to your arm. “C’mon-”

“Haru, this isn’t a good idea,” warns the guy you had recognized. “She’s with Niragi.”

Haru laughs and pulls you closer, ignoring your struggle. He sniffs your hair. “Then he has been doing a shitty job at fucking her.” he pulls at your shirt, “Isn’t this his? She doesn’t smell like an Alpha at all,” he chuckles, “And didn’t you say that he ignored her today? I don’t think he’ll care if we get his sloppy seconds.”

“Let me go!” you pull your arm from his grip and face the taller man. “Niragi is not here to kick your asses, but I am.”

“Oh look at this, the little Omega has claws!”

“So do I.”

You freeze. So do Haru and his friends.

You smell him before you see him. Peppermint and rain.

You turn around to see him a few meters behind you, standing casually with his hands in his pockets. He looks bored; like he’s just passing by and there’s an inconvenience on his path. But his eyes…

“Chishiya-”

“You aren’t very smart, are you?” he interrupts, walking slowly towards you. “Harassing an Omega when there’s an Alpha around. It’s not acceptable back in the real world, what makes you think it’s acceptable here?” his eyes flash with something you recognize. You also notice the golden ring on them, giving them a more animal look. “Now you can either let her go or-.”

Haru releases his grip on your arm and takes a step back before Chishiya can finish his sentence.  

“We didn’t do anything to her, man,” he says, hands raised. The man trembles slightly, eyes cast on the ground. “We were just messing around, that’s all.”

Chishiya chuckles and nods, “Of course, of course. Just remember what can happen if you mess with her again.” one of his hands leaves his pocket to scratch his neck, almost mindlessly. You gasp when you see the claws, the changed hand. “I would hate to get blood on my white hoodie.”

The men scatter back into their room without another word, tails between their legs. You stand there looking at him, involved in his scent. After more than a week without an Alpha, having him so close is not doing you any favors. His presence is unmistakably wolf, his scent stronger by his show of dominance. He barely had to try; Betas just instinctively know not to mess with Alphas. You start feeling hot, and you curse yourself; please not now.

“Are you okay?” his voice gets your attention.

“Uh-hm, yeah I am,” you stutter a little, “Th-thanks for the help.”

He takes a few steps closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours. You feel hypnotized; like you’re under a spell. He smells so good, and you’re so horny, and he’s the only thing making you feel safe now. You think of Niragi for a moment, until your wolf pushes the memory aside with a huff; Niragi is not there, you’re still unclaimed, and there’s an Alpha right in front of you.

You jump into his arms before you’re able to overthink things even more. His arms envelop you as your lips touch, and you feel that amazing electrifying sensation every time you touch an Alpha. His lips are soft on yours as he kisses you. His hands are surprisingly warm against your skin.

“Alpha- ” you moan into the kiss.

“Bedroom,” is all he says as he pulls you with him to your room. His lips are still on yours as he closes the door with a kick before making you lay down on the bed. His body covers yours in an instant, his hands roaming your body while his lips suck the skin of your neck. Even his kisses make you feel pleasure, and you whine as his hands go under your shirt to fondle your breasts. “Your skin is so soft,” he whispers with a pinch to your nipple. “I have been wanting to touch you since I first laid my eyes on you.”

“I- I want more,” your pussy clenches around nothing as you feel him hard against your stomach, “Please, Alpha...more,” you don’t care about how you sound. You just want that sweet release only an Alpha can provide. Niragi’s face shows up in your mind’s eye, but you ignore it; he wasn’t there for you when you needed it. Chishiya was.

His hands move to untie your shorts, sliding them down your legs to uncover your wet cunt. He sits back on his heels, hand on your thigh as he stares right at your naked core. He’s more expressive now than you’ve ever seen him before; his eyes burn with lust, his bottom lip between his teeth. You whine as he stays still, pushing your hips up; you want him to fuck you, not to stare at you.

He chuckles and licks his lips. “Open your legs wider for me,” you immediately do as he says, craving his touch. His hand slides lower until his fingers are tracing your slit in up and down movements, making you moan and instinctively close your legs. “Open,” he says with a glance at your face before leaning over your center. His breath is warm against your swollen clit.

You shiver as he flicks his tongue over your sensitive bud; it feels so good, and you want more. Your hands grip your pillow as you moan in time with his licks, almost letting out a scream when he sucks on your clit. No man had ever touched you like that; they were all inside you and over after a few minutes of thrusting. Even Niragi had gone straight to business. But fuck, does it feel good.

“Chi- Chishiya, oh my god- “ you manage to say before you’re interrupted by two of his fingers entering you. They curl inside you as his tongue keeps working wonders on your clit. You can feel an orgasm growing, toes curling at the pulling sensation in your core. You’re so close. “Please keep going, don’t stop.” you practically beg as he finger fucks you.

He stops.

You open your eyes with a displeased grunt to catch him looking at you, lips glistening with your juices. He smirks, “We’re just getting started,” he says, pulling you by the legs so your center is pressing against his crotch. You moan again at feeling him hard against you with only his swim shorts in the way.

You sit up to undress him off his hoodie, something he lets you do as he devours your lips. He suddenly pulls you up against him until you’re practically sitting on his lap. You grind against him, trying to put out the fire inside you. His mouth kisses down your neck to your breasts, without fully undressing you. You try to take off the shirt, but he makes you pause.

“That’s his shirt, isn’t it?” you nod and he huffs out a laugh, unbuttoning the first buttons only, “Keep it on,” he says before closing his lips around a nipple. You close your eyes and just enjoy the sensations he provides you. Your mind goes back to Niragi; how his tongue piercing felt against you as he sucked on you too, or how his hands never stopped pleasuring you. You almost grunt in frustration at the memories; he doesn’t matter now.

“Alpha, I want you inside me,” you beg as you keep grinding on him. It’s starting to feel like torture. Your hands slide down to work on his shorts, “Please...please.”

“Easy there,” he chuckles, pushing you back down on the bed. “We have time. Be a good girl and stay still,” he says as he gets rid of his shorts in a swift movement, now completely naked in front of you. You glance at his cock, hard as wood in between his pale thighs, a bead of precum sliding from the tip. Your mouth waters; you desperately want him to fuck you, you think as your pussy clenches around nothing.

You open your mouth to say something but hesitate, trying to follow his command. You wonder how can an Alpha have so much self-control; he should be deep inside you by now. It’s beyond frustrating. He finally covers your body with his, and you smile at the sensation of his skin on yours; it feels so good. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as you kiss him with ferocity. It hurts how much you need him.

You finally feel his tip at your entrance, and then he’s inside you with a sharp thrust of his hips against yours. You scream at the sensation; so warm, so full, so unbelievably pleasurable. His thrusts are slow but firm, each hit of his pelvis against your clit making you see stars. His face goes to the side of your neck, and you feel as his teeth graze the skin, sucking and biting; right over the fading marks Niragi left on you a week ago.

“Go faster,” you whine as you push your hips up against his. You want him to fill you up to the brim; like Niragi had done. “Please Alpha, fill me up. Make me yours.”

He doesn’t say anything, but his pace gets faster, and you finally hear him make a sound since he started fucking you. His face is still hidden in the curve of your neck, but his hands clasp around your thighs, pulling them up until you’re practically folded in half. You finally feel him deeper, hitting your g-spot as his shoves get gradually harder.

“Tell me how much you want me to knot in you,” he grunts against your ear. “Tell me you want me.”

“I- I want you,” you whine. “I want you to knot in me, and fill me up with your cum. I want you.”

He kisses your jaw, thrusts getting even faster. You can barely think; all you want is to come and for Chishiya to do the same inside you. You want to feel him as he shudders, hear him as he moans and you milk him dry. His hand goes to cradle your cheek, and you finally see his face as he locks eyes with you; his white hair sticks to his neck and forehead due to sweat, and his eyes are more gold than the usual dark brown. However, an uncomfortable realization sparks in you; there’s only lust in his eyes. No care, no adoration, no imitation of something resembling love. Nothing like Niragi’s eyes had looked at you. Your wolf pushes those thoughts aside once again, and you close your eyes as you focus on the man currently thrusting in and out of you. He’s what matters now.

Your orgasm hits you like a wave, toes curling behind his back as you clench around him in pleasure. You feel him as he comes too, hands squeezing your thighs with enough force to leave a bruise. However, you gasp when you feel him pull out with a hiss, and he finishes spilling on your belly and breasts.

You lay there as he finishes with a grunt before laying down beside you, both of you panting furiously. The fog in your brain soon evaporates, and you have to control the impulse to run out of your own bedroom. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? First Niragi, now Chishiya. All those years of self-control wasted. They meant nothing. You were just pushing back the inevitable; the day you would be claimed with no real ability to even choose by who. Your wolf doesn’t care, but you do. The last thing you want is a relationship like the one your parents had.

But you still ended up fucking two different Alphas in a week; it’s not like you have a choice.

Chishiya moving beside you pulls you out of your thoughts. He’s looking at you with his usual expression; cold and with a pull at his lips that gives the impression there’s something that only he’s smart enough to understand. It annoys you just a little. You guess it shows on your face because he’s full-on smirking as he sits up.

“Feeling regretful, are we?” he says as he retrieves his shorts, putting them on, “I figured you would.”

“Then why didn’t you stop me?” you say in a low tone, sitting up with a moan. His come sticks to your thighs and runs down the skin of your breasts and belly. You sigh when you notice it stained Niragi’s shirt too.

“Why would I?” he shrugs, putting his hoodie on, “I can’t control this thing much more than you do. Besides- ” he says, shooting a glance at your torso, “Thought it might be fun.”

You furrow your brows at him. “This isn’t about me, is it?” you ask. Things kind of start to make sense now; his constant presence near you, the shirt he wanted you to keep, “This is about Niragi.”

His eyes lit up with something like amusement. “If I get to claim an Omega while pissing off Niragi then I’m doing something right.” he starts walking towards the door, “Don’t misunderstand though; I will fight to claim you when the time comes.” He closes the door behind him.

What have you done? You feel a sudden urge to cry, but push it back; you are done crying about this. So you just let a few tears fall before standing up and heading to the bathroom, wanting to get cleaned up as soon as you possibly can. You groan when you see yourself in the mirror, covered in love bites and cum.

You wonder how Niragi will react when he finds out; because he inevitably will. It wasn’t unheard of Alphas to fight to the death over an Omega; you just wish that isn’t what is about to happen. You don’t think you can live with that.

You step in the shower for the second time that night and vigorously rub your skin, trying to erase any and every sign of Chishiya off your body. Mission impossible, of course; his scent is still all over you as you get out of the shower. Next, you try to clean Niragi’s shirt. At least that one still smells faintly of cinnamon and wood.

As you should too, remarks the voice in your head.

You barely sleep that night.

You feel like a zombie the next morning and, as per usual, you stick to your room. You’re particularly into avoiding people today. Well, two people. So you keep to your room and jump between reading, to napping, to overthinking until you get a headache and then fall asleep.

A sudden knock on your door wakes you up, and you notice it’s almost night outside. You trip on your way to the door, opening it to reveal Chishiya on the other side. You scowl and move to close the door in his face, but his foot stops you.

“What?” you ask.

“We’re in the same group tonight,” he says, raising a piece of paper. “And before you say no, remember that you’re still under evaluation.”

“I have enough visa days,” you say, forcing the door on his foot. He doesn’t budge. You sigh and count to ten. You can do this; just another game. “Fine. But tell Ann that after this I’m only going out when I need to.”

You grab your jacket and get out, following Chishiya. You don’t say a word and neither does he. Your body feels his presence though, and you’re sure he can smell it in you. Smell himself in you.

You get in a van with your group, a bunch of people you faintly recognize but know no names. Chishiya seats right at the front, and you cringe as everyone else in the vehicle clearly knows everything that happened between you two. You hear Niragi’s name being whispered around, but try to ignore it, focusing on the road outside as you drive around looking for a game.

“Look there!” someone exclaims.

Koishikawa Botanical Garden.

The whole place is completely dark as you walk through the main gate, the familiar sound of the barrier closing behind you making you tremble with apprehension. A sign at the front says no weapons allowed, and you watch as two of the people in your group leave their weapons behind. Not really a good sign.

A single street lamp casts light on a table right next to the reception. You follow your group as they approach the table, but your attention is focused on your surroundings. You remember being there as a kid; hard to imagine that the beautiful open space full of trees and flowers of every species is now a game arena; a place of death. You wonder what exactly is the game that awaits you.

You focus your attention on the table, retrieving a phone and staring as it does the facial recognition thing it always does. It’s apparently a big game; there are already more than ten people waiting to play, and at least fifteen phones are still on the table.

You sit on a park bench while you wait, bracing yourself against the chilly night air. Chishiya is leaning against a street lamp right in front of you, and you know he’s staring, even though it’s dark and he has his hoodie up and covering his eyes. Your mind keeps rewinding the last twenty-four hours and you try to focus on something else with no success. If you’re not thinking about that, you’re thinking about the imminent game; both make you want to cry and run.

People slowly keep coming in, and you notice as the phones vanish one by one that the game is almost at its full capacity.

A sudden ruckus at the gates snaps everyone’s attention to the entrance, and you swear your heart stops as you see Niragi running in your direction with the most terrifying expression you’ve ever seen on him. He looks furious. Absolutely terrifying.

“I’m gonna rip your fucking heart out!” he screams as he gets closer. You notice his eyes are locked on Chishiya. His eyes; they aren’t human. Neither are his hands, now curved into claws. The other man doesn’t seem scared in the slightest; on the contrary, he looks like he’s having fun.

“Niragi, don’t- “ you scream as he lunges himself at the shorter man. Chishiya is fast though, swiftly dodging the punch before kicking Niragi in the stomach and stepping away.

Niragi huffs and doubles over before standing straight with a growl and trying another swing at the other man. Two men that got in with him try to corner Chishiya, but he just dodges them like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“Not so bad without your gun, are you?” asks Chishiya in a mocking tone.

“With or without a gun, I’m still going to fucking kill you.” Niragi growls, “You fucked with the wrong wolf.”

Chishiya huffs a laugh, “Actually,” he says with a smirk, nodding in your direction, “I fucked the right wolf.”

Niragi’s eyes finally lock on you, and it’s like he’s seeing you for the first time. Only now his eyes are filled with something that resembles betrayal and pain. You hate it. You look down, trying to make yourself small; you don’t want him to look at you like that. Never.

“I’ll deal with her later,” he says in a cold tone, and you can’t help but flinch. He approaches the table and retrieves the last phone, eyes still on you. “Now I- “

You’re startled when cheery music starts playing all around you and the big screen you hadn’t noticed at the roof of the reception lits up.

“Registration has closed,” says a feminine robot voice, “The game will now commence.”

You look at your phone as it lits up.

Difficulty, Ten of Spades.

Game, “Akazukin: Red Riding Hood.”

Next Chapter

[sunmoonandeddie]

as long as i’m living

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 4,097

summary: Battles are always hard, especially the aftermath and what’s left behind.

warnings: Parent death.  Cussing.  Violence.  Angst.  Hurt to comfort.

a/n:  Lmao I don’t always get the motivation to write, but when I do...  Please let me know what you guys think.

There’s a certain feeling that lingers in the air in the ending moments of the battle.  When the dust has started to settle and you’re not quite sure whether or not that was the last of your enemy or if you need to prepare for another wave.  The wariness clung to your skin like sweat as you look around, heart still racing a million miles an hour.

The scent of blood hadn’t yet been overtaken by the scent of death, but it wouldn’t be long before it did.  It’s tangy and metallic and you could just choke on it.

This particular battle was at a Hydra base, and the reptilians that you’d been fighting for hours covered the ground.

As you looked around and your eyes met a pair of lifeless orbs, you’re reminded that even though they were horrible, despicable people, they were still people.

They were human.

Their blood ran just as red as yours, their fingerprints a pattern just as unique as yours.  There would never be someone just like them.  There would never be someone with the same marks on their skin, their moles and freckles and stretchmarks.  They wouldn’t have the same experiences or memories, and the ones that the people on the ground had were gone forever.

But you scoffed as your eyes made out the Hydra symbol on an agent’s shirt.

Hydra’s members might’ve had the bodies of humans, but every single one of them had a monster’s mind.

You couldn’t bring yourself to believe there was anything human about choosing a life of killing people in the name of hatred, of taking down mankind.

But the worst part of the aftermath of a battle was when you had to comb through after to find survivors.  You had to take those that had survived in for questioning and then they were usually thrown into a prison cell for the rest of their lives.

“Honey?”

A good amount of the tension that resided in your chest and leaked out into your shoulders released as you heard the sound of your lover’s voice.

“Bucky,” you breathed out in relief as he came down the hall.

But there was protocol that had to be followed.

He stopped six feet away, taking a breath.  “How many dates did it take before I kissed you?” He asked.

A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth.  “Four.  And I kissed you first because you were too nervous.”

Security questions.  Things only you and your teammates would know.  The lot of you had been through enough cases of stolen identities and imposters attempting to infiltrate the team for you to go without them.

The hunk of a man that you called yours rushed forward and cupped your face like you were made of fine china before kissing you soundly.

Every logical thought left your head as you melted against him.  Butter.  That’s what you were anytime he touched you.  Fucking melted butter.

You had never thought that you’d meet someone that could make you feel so at home until you’d met him four years before.  It had taken you a little while to let him in, and most people were surprised when they found out that he was the one that was breaking down your walls and not the other way around.

“You okay?” He asked, even as he was already pulling back to check you over.  He lifted your arms to check for any injuries before doing the same to each leg while letting you lean on him.  A sly smile spread over his face as he then began to pat down your tummy and your back, ending with playfully squeezing your ass.

You knew part of it was actually to look for injuries, but the bigger point of it was him trying to unfurrow your brow and relax, to get you to laugh.

And it worked every time.

But a whimper cut through the air and you froze.  “What was that?” You asked as your head whipped towards the direction it had come from.

“I’m not sure,” Bucky said, his hand going to the gun that rested in his holster.  “Wait he—”

Before he could even finish his sentence, you were rushing towards the sound.

You had a gut feeling that it wasn’t an enemy.  That hadn’t been the sound of a cold-hearted Hydra agent.

“M-Mommy?”

Heart hammering, you stopped in the doorway of what looked like a mini laboratory, stopping in your tracks as you saw the scene laid out before you.

You jerked awake as you heard the sirens going off, the alarms.  You’d been through enough safety drills to know that they meant trouble.

Your mother reached for you, her loving hands picking you up and wrapping you in a warm blanket.  “There we go…  There’s my baby girl.  All nice and warm,” she cooed.

Why was she in her work suit?  You didn’t understand…  She wasn’t supposed to work until morning, right?

The only light in the room was coming from the window, moonlight streaming in and landing on your bed, where your pile of stuffed animals rested.

“Mama?” You yawned, eyes still fuzzy from sleep.  “Mama, what’s going on?”

“We’re gonna play a game, okay?” She whispered, bringing her finger to her lips in a shushing motion.  There was a look in her eyes that you couldn’t name.  It was a foreign wobble in her lower lips, a glassiness in her eyes.

The fabric of her black suit was rough as you clung to her.  “What kind of game, mama?  I’m tired…  Why can’t I go back to bed?”

She grabbed your favorite stuffed animal from the bed, a stuffed elephant named Pinky, and placed her in your arms.  “Because we gotta, okay?” She said, a tear trickling down her cheek.

For some reason, the tone of her voice got you to stop complaining, and you nodded.  In your short life, you’d never seen her so… panicked.

Your mother plastered on a smile as she carried you to the miniscule kitchen of your apartment, over to the lazy Susan in the corner.  “We’re gonna play a game of hide and seek, okay?  And we gotta win, yeah?  You like winning.”

That was true.  You’d had a bit of a competitive streak.

After you confirmed what she said with a nod, she hugged you tight, tighter than you’d ever been hugged before.  “Mama loves you so much,” she said, tears openly rolling down her cheeks as she pressed kisses all over your face.  “You know how much mama loves you?  More than anything.  More than the moon and all the stars in the sky.”

Her sadness was starting to spill into you as you looked at her, your chubby hands holding onto her cheeks.  “M-Mama?  Mama, what’s happening?”

“Everything’s gonna be okay, baby girl.  Mama loves you.  And I’m always gonna love you and I’m always gonna be here for you, okay?” She said, sniffling as she wiped at your eyes.  “No more tears, okay?  No crying in hide and seek, yeah?  We gotta win and we can’t win if we’re crying.”

“I love you, mama,” you said, feeling the overwhelming urge to tell her over and over.  “I love you.”

“I know, baby girl,” she said with a weak laugh as she kissed your cheeks.  She opened up the door of the corner cabinet, pushing everything inside back to make enough room for a four year old.  Your mother wrapped you and Pinky up in the blanket a little tighter, a weak smile on her lips.  “You’re gonna hide in here, okay?  And you’re gonna go all the way to the back, yeah?”  She set you in the cabinet, holding your face in her hands.  “And listen.  Look at me.  Look at me.  You have to be completely silent.  No noise at all, okay?  We gotta win hide and seek.”

Your brows furrowed as you started to get out of the cabinet.  “B-But I wanna hide with you, mama.  Where are you hiding?  Who are we playing with?”

She shook her head as she urged you back into the cabinet.  “Shh…  Shh…”  She glanced back towards the front door before looking back at you.  There were footsteps running by outside, but so far no one had attempted to come in.  

“Mama?” You whispered, your eyes round with fear as you glanced towards the door.  “W-Who are we playing with?”

The shaky breath she took alarmed you.  “It’s a surprise, okay?” She said as she got you to sit back down in the cabinet. “But listen.  Mama needs you to cover your ears, yeah?  And no coming out or peeking until the sirens stop or I come and get you, okay?”

A nod.  “O-Okay, mama…”

She pressed her lips to your forehead, and you could feel her tears on your scalp.  “I love you so much, baby girl.  So much.”  Your mother closed the cabinet door after urging you to scoot towards the back, Pinky clutched to your chest.

The cabinet was pitch black except for the little sliver of light that came from the crack at the bottom of the door.

Heart pounding, you covered your ears just like she said, squeezing your eyes shut for good measure.

You could hear the blood pounding in your ears.  Despite your mother reassuring you that everything was going to be okay, you couldn’t stop crying.

There were random bangs here and there, and then you heard the banging on the front door of your apartment.  There was another bang, and then a loud thud, like a door being slammed against the wall.

You couldn’t quite hear what else was happening as you sat inside the cabinet.  Pinky’s soft fur and the warmth of the blanket was the only comfort you had.

There was a commotion outside, but your mother’s words rang in your ears.  No peeking or uncovering your ears or getting out of the cabinet until the sirens stopped or she came and got you.

But this was bad.  Really bad.  You could feel it in your gut.

Your mother had always told you to trust your gut, but you could tell this wasn’t the time.

But maybe just a peek wouldn’t hurt…  You just wanted to know what was going on.

Palms sweaty, you opened the door just a crack to peek out into the kitchen.  Your blood ran cold as you saw your mother pointing a gun at a man that was standing in the doorway.

“Get the fuck out,” she snarled.  You’d always known she was a powerful woman, a lioness, but you’d never gotten to see it in person.

The man sneered, the look of the devil in his eyes as he shifted his gun in his grip.  “You’re not the one in charge here, are you?  Not exactly one to be giving orders.”  He turned his head slightly as someone spoke into his earpiece.  The look that settled over his face was horrifying.  “It’s not personal,” he said as his finger twitched on the trigger.  A loud bang echoed throughout the room, your hand slapping over your mouth as you fought the scream that bubbled up in your throat.

Blood splattered across the pristine white cabinets of your kitchen as your mother fell.  Her knees made a thud as she cried out, falling onto her side.  There was an indent on one of the cabinets where the bullet had hit after it exited her lower back.

“Like I said,” the man said with a snort.  “It’s not personal.”  He left with his boots thudding against the tiled floor, leaving the door open.

Your entire body was trembling as you pushed the cabinet door open, your heart racing.  “M-Mama?” You said as you slowly left the cabinet.  “Mama?”

She had curled up on the ground, pressing her hands to the entry wound on her tummy.  “B-Baby girl…  Y-You need to g-get back in the cabinet, okay?”

Shaking your head, you crawled towards her, not caring that your purple pajama pants were getting soaked.  Your lower lip wobbled as you went to her side.  “Mama?  Y-You’re hurt.”  You needed to get help.  You had to.

You had started to get to your feet, your legs wobbling, when she grabbed your hand.  “Baby girl.  Baby.  C-Come here,” she said.  She knew there was no way she’d be able to convince you to get back in the cabinet now.  Her slender fingers, which you had always thought were so pretty and elegant, reached up to cup your face.  “It’s gonna b-be okay.  I promise.  B-But I need you to stay right here with me.”  Your mother shifted, wincing in pain.  “My baby.  I love you so, so m-much.  And I’m always g-gonna be with you.  I promise.”

“Y-You pinky promise?” You whimpered, holding up your pinky for her.

A weak smile brightened her face for just a second as she nodded, wrapping her larger pinky around yours.  “I p-pinky promise.  Now can you come over h-here?  Get real close.”

Sniffling, you moved closer to her and let her guide your head to rest over her heart.  “I love you, m-mama…  You’re gonna b-be okay, right?”

“Yes, baby.  I’m g-gonna be okay,” she said, her voice cracking.  “I love you more than the moon and all the stars in the sky.”  Her arm wrapped around you, keeping you close as she started to softly sing the lullaby she sang to you every night.  “I’ll love you forever.  I’ll like you for always.  As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be…”  It was from your favorite night time book, Love You Forever.  There wasn’t a single night that you could remember where she didn’t read it to you before bed.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as she sang the lullaby over and over, her free hand smoothing over your hair.  Her heartbeat was getting weaker.  You could feel it.

She was fading.

“I’ll love you forever.  I’ll like you for always.  As long as I’m living…”

Silence.

Her hand had stopped moving.  Her arm around you went limp.

“M-Mama?”  Lower lip wobbling, you sat up a little, turning to look at her face.  Your hands moved to her face.  “Mama?  M-Mama, you gotta wake up,” you said as you shook her a little.  The panic was starting to set in when she still didn’t move, even though her eyes were open.  Everyone had always told you that you’d had her eyes, but now they were strange and unnatural, unfocused.

“Mama!” You cried, literally begging at this point as you shook her even harder.  “M-Mama, you gotta wake up!  Wake up!”  You slumped against her as you realized she wasn’t going to wake up, sobbing into her chest.  “Mama…  Mama, please…  Don’t go…”

It was several hours before anyone found you.  At least four.

There were footsteps coming down the hall, but you hardly noticed.  You were curled up against her body, holding onto her hand even though her fingers had gone cold.

“Shit.”

Your head slowly turned to see several agents in the doorway.

“Hey, kid,” the one in front said after a rather pregnant pause.

Hiccups shook your chest as you looked at him.  “M-Mama’s gone.  And n-no one came to h-help.”

The man sighed, rubbing his temples.  “Come on.  Let’s get you out of there,” he said, walking over and picking you up. “NO!  NO!” You screamed, kicking out at him.  It was the most energy you’d had in hours.  “PUT ME DOWN!  I WANNA STAY WITH MAMA!  I WANNA STAY!”

“You said it yourself, kid,” he said as he carried you out of there.  “Your mom’s gone.”

There was a little girl sitting on the ground, her hair in pigtail braids.  “Mommy?” She repeated, her little voice wavering as she shook the woman that was lying on the ground.  “Mommy, wake up.  You gotta wake up.”

It was like a mirror had been forced in front of your face, and then someone had smashed your head into it.

It was jarring, being reminded that Hydra agents, just like any other humans, had children.  And when they died for their cause, those children were left behind as orphans.

“Honey…,” Bucky whispered behind you, but he stopped once he realized what was happening.

He knew your past.  Of course he did.  And he visited your mother’s grave with you every chance the two of you got.

You did always get to see her name on the Wall of Valor anytime you went to any SHIELD facility.  You could never bring yourself to pass it without kissing your fingers and pressing it to her name.

It was hard sometimes.  You didn’t really get to know her as a person or an agent.  You knew her as your mother, of course, but you wanted to truly know her.  You wanted to know who her first love was, her favorite brand of jeans, what her favorite movie genre was.

And this little girl would be just like you if you didn’t do something about it.  She’d end up in the foster system, being passed around until either someone adopted her or she aged out, like you had.

You couldn’t let that happen.

“Hi, sweetheart,” you said softly as you moved closer to the little girl.  “What’s your name?”

She jerked in surprise, backing away towards her mother as she looked up at you and Bucky with wide brown eyes.  “W-Who are you?”

A fierce urge of protection came over you as you gave her your name, crouching down and watching her closely.  “Can you tell me your name?”

You were doing your best to fight the grief that was welling up in your chest.  It wasn’t often that you allowed yourself to think about the night that you’d lost your mother, but now you were reliving it.  Colors and sounds and scents were flying through your mind at an alarming pace as you tried to focus on the little girl in front of you.

“V-Valerie,” she said after a second.  She sniffed as she looked back at the body behind her.  “C-Can you h-help my mommy?  She’s not waking up.”

Taking a shaky breath, you moved towards her.  Your shaking fingers pressed against her pulse point in her neck, and just as you suspected, there was nothing.  She was almost cold to the touch already.

Valerie was younger than you had been, but only by a few months.  Her round cheeks were stained with tears as she watched you examine her mother.

“Val, can you look at me?” You asked gently as you took her hands in yours.  Your throat felt tight as you tried to find the words to explain.  It hadn’t exactly been done gently for you.

She nodded, her soft eyes hopeful.  “C-Can you help mommy?”

A deep breath.  Count to five.

“You know…  When I was your age…  When I was your age, my mommy had to go away,” you said quietly, squeezing her hands.  “She got hurt.  And…  And she had to go somewhere better.  Somewhere she wouldn’t hurt anymore.”

“But…  But I want her here,” Valerie whimpered, a fresh wave of tears coming over her.  “Why can’t she be not hurt here?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” you admitted as you smoothed her flyaways back away from her face.  God, your own tears were threatening to overwhelm you.  “But my mommy is always with me, just like yours will be with you,” you said.  You pointed to her heart.  “Right here.”

You’d have to explain in more detail later on down the road, or maybe she’d just come to understand as she got older.  In all honesty, you just really hoped that she would grow to understand.

Her brows furrowed as she looked down at your joined hands.  “But…  But mommy feels better now?  S-She’s not hurt?”

Pressing your lips together, you nodded.  “Exactly.  Her body is here, but her heart and her soul is not, yeah?  And she’s looking down on you right now.”  You looked around, trying to find any sign of another parent.  “Do you have a dad?”

She shook her head, her thumb going to her mouth.

Bucky’s heart hurt for you and the little girl as you searched the suite, eventually finding birth certificates and everything you’d need.

“Bucky, can you take these?” You asked, knowing that you two needed to get back to the quinjet.  There was no doubt that your teammates were shouting into Bucky’s comm, since you’d turned yours off.  After the documents were safe in his arms, you turned to Valerie.  “Sweetheart, can I pick you up?  We need to get out of here, okay?”  It took a second for her to agree, but you easily lifted her into your arms and rested her on your hip.  “Do you have a favorite blankie?  A favorite stuffed animal?”  Once her stuffed animal was in her arms and her head was covered with the blanket, her vision obscured from seeing the carnage of the battle, you nodded to Bucky, and the three of you quickly found your way to the quinjet.

“Not a word,” Bucky warned the others as the three of you climbed on.

The others were watching in confusion as you took Valerie to one of the seats farthest away from everyone.  “Okay, sweetheart,” you said as you gently uncovered her head.  “It’s gonna be a few hours until we’re home.  You wanna get some sleep?”

She nodded, still sucking her thumb.  “W-Will you stay with me?” She asked, clinging to you.

“Yes.  I will,” you said reassuringly.  “Can I change out of these clothes first?  They’re a little uncomfy, huh, baby?”

Bucky moved over to her, quietly introducing himself as your boyfriend as you changed into civilian clothing in the bathroom.

“What are you thinking?” Natasha asked the second you emerged.  “Taking a kid?”

“We killed her mother,” you said, watching Bucky and Valerie over her shoulder.  It definitely seemed like they were getting along…

“Her mother was a Hydra agent.”

Your brows furrowed as you met her eyes again.  “And?”  Out of all people, Natasha should’ve understood why you brought the little girl along.  “She’s a child.  One that deserves a future.”  A grin spread over your lips as you moved back to the two, relaxing as you saw the faint smile on Valerie’s lips.

“I may have promised Val that we could get ice cream tomorrow,” Bucky said, giving you puppy eyes as he looked up from where he was kneeling in front of the little girl.

“Yeah?  I think we can do ice cream,” you said with a slow smile as you sat down.

The little girl immediately crawled into your lap and curled up against your chest, closing her eyes.  She was dozing on and off the two hour plane ride home, and you immediately took her to bed once you got back.

Bucky and you tucked her into your shared bed, knowing you’d have to go and get her a bed and everything the next day.  But you didn’t mind giving up your bed for her.

“I’ll love you forever.  I’ll like you for always,” you sang sweetly to her as you unbraided her hair, smoothing it away from her face.  “As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be…”

“She’s so tiny,” Bucky whispered, looking at the little girl with a soft reverence.  “She reminds me of Becca when she was small…”  He couldn’t help but smile as he rested his chin on the edge of the bed.  “We need to get her a bed and things…”

“Tomorrow…,” you said quietly, shushing him gently.

Maybe the universe had intended for you to find her.  Maybe Valerie was meant to be your daughter, because the second you had seen her, you’d known that you’d do anything to protect her.

Just like your mother had done for you.

She was still teaching you things even now.

There was a certain feeling lingering in the air.  It was the exact opposite of what you always felt at the end of a battle.

The smell of baby shampoo.  The sound of her soft snores.  Bucky’s head resting against your shoulder.

The both of you needed to shower, but you didn’t care.  It could wait just a little bit longer.

Your eyes felt hot as you caressed the little girl’s cheek, swallowing around the lump in her throat.  “I’ll love you forever.  I’ll like you for always.  As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”

[ask-them-bois]

Of Monsters and Matriarchs, pt 2/3

pt.1

TW: PTSD flashback, attempted mugging

TLDR: Deadscar heads for the desert. A new troll arrives.

.

Ishran cinched the strap on his bag and stood, swinging the pack onto his shoulder. He picked up his war hammer, sliding it into its holster between the bag and his back. Finally, he tied up his hair, made sure his campfire was out completely, and set out.

He’d been camped on the outskirts of the city for several nights, but now, mere hours after the meeting with Musrio and the other ancestors, it was time to leave. He made for the trackscuttler station, remembering the Decaying’s directions.

He stepped up onto the platform and looked around; the station was empty, as far as he could tell. No one was even in the ticket booth, the lights all dark. He found an old board that listed the trackscuttlers’ arrival times, but all of them were marked the same way: “Canceled.”

It was abandoned, he realized. Trackscuttlers were still a popular mode of transportation all over Alternia, and he idly wondered what would cause the station to shut down. Perhaps a better one had been built elsewhere.

Regardless, he put his curiosity aside; the inquiry of why a station was powered down was not his mission. Finally, he located a map of the tracks, in a case that stood in the middle of the station. It depicted most of the continent he was currently on, and it was easy to locate the desert; the landmass he resided on only had one, albeit a rather large one.

If Lucina wasn’t there, then he’d have to head overseas. First things first, though- he located the tracks that wound through the desert. There was only one track, and someone had scribbled over part of it in red marker.

Undeterred, Ishran followed the trail to the station he was currently at; it stood to the west of the desert, which meant he had to head east. Satisfied, he turned to survey the tracks by the station. They pointed north and south, but following the northern one would eventually take him the correct way.

A squeak of a shoe behind him was his only warning as a knifepoint was suddenly pressed to his shoulder.

“Give me everything in the bag, geezer, or I’ll gut you like an oink-beast.”

Ishran didn’t move for a moment, before he finally turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder.

Behind him, their only knife left pressed against the oliveblood’s skin, looking rather gaunt and messy, was none other than Fayroe Fallen.

The young fuchsia’s eyes were bloodshot, their undersides dark from lack of sleep. His fins were wilted, horns bare of jewelry; he’d either hidden them or sold them. He was covered in bruises and scrapes, his clothes worse for wear than ever before.

Outwardly, Ishran didn’t react at first, but his thinkpan was flashing warning lights as wailing sirens went off, unbidden memories whirling through his mind as he stared at those horns.

Pain, pain, pain- shackles, bolts embedded in his wrists, chains beating his back, dragging him like a dog, the coliseum, his hammer, smashing through skin and muscle and bone. Breaking, breaking, scars and bleeding and no rest. Beast and troll crying out, the deafening cheers as his knuckled crumpled bone like faygo cans-

The whirring, chittering, subsonic roar of the drones. His hammer screaming off of carapace, chitinous armor flying across sand, sparks from the contact and then- pain. Naught but pain, struggling to breathe, burning lungs and broken ribs and PAIN-

When he snapped back to himself, Ishran found himself knelt on the prince’s chest, the knife spinning across the floor and his hands on the kid’s throat, teeth bared. Fayroe had his arms up to shield himself, as if expecting a beating.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry, please-! I didn’t mean it, please don’t kill me!” The seadweller’s wails suddenly cut through the ringing in his ears. They sounded terrified and desperate, sobs hitching in their chest.

Ishran stared down at the sniveling fuchsia, his hands lax around their neck as he tried to mentally catch up with what just happened.

“Please, I didn’t mean it- I’m j- j- just so h- hungry- I w- wasn’t going to hurt you!” Fayroe continued to babble, covering his face with his arms.

The oliveblood managed to lurch to his feet and stumble away. He leaned on the map case with one hand, his blood-pumper hammering in his chest. Adrenaline was screaming through him, the likes of which he hadn’t felt in a long time. He couldn’t breathe properly, he almost felt sick, but he managed to suck in a shaky breath.

“Who… are… you.” He spoke through clenched teeth. Behind him, the sniveling stopped abruptly.

“Wh- what?”

“You’re Enforcer’s spawn.”

“Yes?”

“What are you doing here?” He demanded, his voice shaky but even.

“I’m- I was just- I am-”

“Out with it, boy.” Ishran snapped.

“I was sleeping!” Fayroe shouted, his voice echoing around the empty station.

“… Here?”

“Yeah?”

“… Why?” Ishran wasn’t sure why he was asking. He didn’t even want to know, but the talking was making the buzzing in his skin fade. He turned to face Fayroe again, and saw the young troll had sat up, eyes huge in the gloom.

“Why do you care? Who are you?” They sniffed.

“I do not care. I am Ishran.” Deadscar stated bluntly, “Now answer my question.”

“I don’t take orders from lowbloods.”

Ishran’s brows settled low, and he turned away. “Fine.” He headed for the tracks.

“Wh- you’re leaving?”

“I have places to be.”

He heard Fayroe scramble to their feet. “Wait!”

He stopped.

“… Where… where are you going?” The fuchsia asked, trying to sound casual.

“Why should I tell you?”

“W- well- because you’re the Deadscar, aren’t you? Fath- Godric, talked about you a lot.” Oh, Ishran didn’t like that. There was a beat of silence, in which Fayroe was probably expecting a response. When that didn’t happen, he continued. “Take me with you.”

“I do not take orders from highbloods.”

“Wh- yes you do! You have to!”

“No.”

“But- but- but that’s-”

Ishran turned around to look at the descendant again. “I take orders from no one, boy, especially not the successor of the Enforcer.”

At that, Fayroe laughed bitterly, catching him off guard. “Successor? Not anymore, I’m not. Descendant, sure, but no successor.” He scuffed one foot against the platform. “… I got chased out. That’s why I was sleeping in here.”

They were interrupted as their stomach let out a feeble, yet loud gurgle, and they put their hand on their stomach. Their fins, somehow, drooped further.

“You are hungry.”

“I don’t have any money. I’ve got nothing but my hop-beast.” Fayroe huffed, shuffling his feet some more. “Godric saw to that.” Ishran looked around for said hop-beast, but Fayroe shook his head. “I left her with… erm… a friend. Or I guess, a former acquaintance, an engineer, who I made take her for a while. But she’s all I got.”

“Then we understand each other.” Ishran said, unmoved. Fayroe looked up, puzzled. “All that you see on my back is all I have anymore.”

“Oh…” An awkward pause fell. Tired of lingering, Ishran turned away again. “Wait- where are you going?” Fayroe called.

“To the desert.”

“Take me with you!”

Sighing, Ishran turned back once more. “Why?”

“I… I can be useful! I’m good at this survival stuff- I’ve lasted this long! It’s been…” They quickly ticked on their fingers, “Five weeks? Six?” They frowned, before looking back up. “Regardless, I can rough it, same as you, but I’m not… as good. Teach me, please! I’ll listen to everything you say, I’ll be helpful, I’ll-”

Ishran wasn’t really listening past that, memories once more overwhelming him. For a moment, he didn’t see a fuchsiablood, but a lime, standing before him and demanding to be taught how to use a bow. He’d been alone on the road for so long- his blood-pumper twinged with the thought of being on the move again with Amadri.

“- and, okay, I don’t know how to start a fire, or cook, or clean, but I’m willing to learn! I just don’t want to be alone anymore...” Fayroe’s words cut through the fog again, and the vision of Amadri was gone. “And I swear I won’t-”

“Fine.” Ishran said, making the younger troll stop.

“Huh?”

“You may join me. But you are to listen to my every order. You may be fuchsia, but I am your elder. You will not speak down to me, and I will not punish you for the sins of your father.”

Fayroe blinked at him, before they grinned, nodding enthusiastically. “Okay! Yes! You’ve got it, Deadscar!”

Ishran nodded once, and turned away for the final time. “Come, then.”

“Wh- now?”

“Yes, now.”

He kept walking, hopping down from the platform and following the tracks. Behind him, he heard Fayroe scoop up their knife and run after him. “Thank you, thank you, oh you won’t regret this, I swear!”

Ishran only grunted.

“So where are we going?”

“The desert.”

“Yeah, I know. Why, though?”

“To find someone.”

“Oh. Who?”

“A woman.”

Fayroe sighed, giving up on making conversation. He trailed after Ishran, pouting in silence, as they followed the tracks. . . . Regret, regret, regret- Irritation buzzed under Ishran’s skin like stinging wasps. It’d been just over a week- nine nights, to be exact- since he’d set out with Fayroe in tow. It’d taken a bit of rearranging on Ishran’s part, and a stop in a town to pick up extra supplies, but they were managing well enough. The oliveblood had even been nice enough to get Fayroe his own sleeping cocoon. His tent was really only meant for one, but Fayroe was small enough that they could squeeze in it together to sleep.

They woke before the sun had fully set each night, ate, and set out, stopping for only fifteen minutes every four hours for water and a small snack. When dawn approached, Ishran found a place to set up camp. They had dinner, then went to bed.

All of that would have been fine, had he had Amadri with him. But-

Ishran was not a religious man, yet he was just about ready to pray for mercy. Fayroe did not. Stop. Talking. Perhaps it was because he’d been alone for so long, but what was usually blissful silence was filled with chatter about anything. By the end of the third night, Ishran knew Fayroe’s life story, albeit unwillingly and without any prompting.

The complaining, too, grated on his nerves like sandpaper on stone.

“My feet hurt.” Fayroe had whined, three hours into their journey on the first night.

“They will toughen.”

“Can we take a break?” Was asked the second night, after they’d just set out.

“No.”

“I’m thirsty!” was announced mere minutes later.

“Now is not a time for drinking.”

And “How much farther do we have to go?” was a constantly repeated question.

“Far.” was the constantly repeated response.

Over and over, on and on. Ishran was ready to stuff wax into his ears to make it stop; he longed to have his matesprit with him instead- at least her voice was soothing, and not the snotty, whining drivel. When they made camp, he gave Fayroe tasks that either sent him away or forced him to stop talking, just for a reprieve.

On the sixth night, still following the tracks, they made it to the desert. Ishran filled their canteens and refreshed their rations at an outpost before they’d proceeded.

The desert was made up of rust red sand dunes, towering higher than ocean waves in storms.

It took them half an hour to make it over the first dune, before Ishran had an idea and turned around.

Returning to the outpost, he rented a pair of scaly-hoofs; draconic hoof-beasts used for crossing the desert. On the creatures’ backs, they made it over the dunes with ease. The dunes eventually faded behind them, until they were crossing miles of sandy plains.

For the next few nights, they saw little around them, even as they continued to follow the tracks. There was sparse vegetation, and an occasional covered well where they could refill their drinks. An abandoned shack or two where they could camp. Wild lusii avoided them, and Ishran only ever saw them at a distance.

On the ninth night, though, Ishran urged his beast to a stop before a sign.

“Turn back! Forbidden land!” was scrawled on a sheet of metal in curly writing.

Fayroe came to a stop beside him, examining the sign, too.

“What now?” He asked, pulling down his scarf; he’d wrapped it around his face to keep the sand out of his gills and mouth.

“We keep going.”

“But it says-”

“I can read. But we keep going.”

Ishran snapped the reins, and his beast carried on.

The further they went, the more signs they saw, all in the same writing.

“Danger!”

“Turn back!”

“Cursed land ahead!”

“Monsters roam beyond!”

“Unholy beasts dwell yonder!”

Ishran ignored them all, until, at last, they crested a hill and came to stop at the sight before them.

Bleached white by the sun, the teeth gleaming in the moonlight, was a massive, monstrous skeleton. Beyond it, just visible on the horizon, was the twisted and warped remains of a crashed and abandoned trackscuttler, laid across the tracks.

“What the fuck is that?” Fayroe exclaimed as he rode up beside Ishran.

“A beast’s bones.” He replied, before he suddenly remembered the Decaying’s words:

“No water but the sapphire eye, guarding to the metal serpent. Beast of thirst, watching beast of slake, guarded by beast of bone. … Follow the screaming serpent’s trail, into the red, and find the corpse of lifeless gods.”

Ishran looked towards the trackscuttler again; from the distance, it was faint, but he could make out the gleam of water. A lake, if he were to guess. An oasis.

“A beast of bone.” He corrected himself, “We are close.”

“We are?” Fayroe repeated, surprised. “Oh, good.”

Ishran urged his beast into motion again, and they descended the hill, approaching the skeleton.

It truly was massive; one of the beast’s claws was four times the size of Ishran himself. He couldn’t be sure what it used to be, but it had a gnarled muzzle full of monstrous teeth, and he counted four eye sockets. Twisted and curled horns protruded from the skull, piercing the sky. To walk from the skull to tail would take a half an hour, at least.

As they were by the skull, though, Ishran stopped again. He looked around at their surroundings; nothing moved, not even the wind. He could see what looked like an outcrop of cliffs and rocks to the south. Looking up, he saw the moons were nearing their peak.

“We’ll stop here.” He decided.

“Already?” Fayroe asked.

“Yes.” Ishran turned and dismounted.

Fayroe had learned by then that he wouldn’t get a lot of explanations for much, so he dismounted, too. They put the tent up in silence, up against the jaw of the skull. After a moment’s deliberation, despite being out in the open, Ishran decided to start a fire.

“What if something sees it?” Fayroe asked uncertainly.

“That’s the idea.” Ishran grunted as he got a meal together and passed the seadweller a canteen. Fayroe had been rather selfish with the water, insisting he needed more due to his aquatic nature. Ishran wasn’t totally sure if that was true, but he was willing to give up a portion of his share if it stopped the whining.

Once camp was set up, they’d eaten, and the beasts were given their due of food and water, Ishran sat down, using the beast’s saddle as a chair on the ground. He pulled his dagger out of his boot, and dug in his bag, pulling out a half-carved figurine of a moth.

He set to work carving, flicking the scraps into the fire.

Fayroe sat on his own saddle, chin in hand, as his knee bounced impatiently.

“Whatcha making?” He asked, just to say something.

“A gift.”

“For who?”

“My partner.”

“You have a partner?”

“Yes.”

“What- what’re they like?”

Ishran paused and looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Why do you care?”

“I dunno. Are they the woman we’re here for?”

“No. She is visiting her morail.”

“Oh.”

Ishran had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. He resumed his work in silence.

“I’m bored.” Fayroe announced after two minutes.

“Then find something to do.”

“Like what? We’re in a desert! It’s not like there’s a filmhive out here.”

“Count the teeth in the skull. Go hunting. Brush the sand off the beasts. Take a nap.” Ishran listed without looking up.

Fayroe didn’t want to do any of that. After another minute of silence, they spoke again. “Why are we even stopped? We could keep going, you know.”

“We are where we need to be.”

“But there’s nothing out here!” Fayroe pouted.

“That’s enough!” Ishran finally snapped, setting his knife down and looking up. “I am aware there is nothing, but this is the spot I have been seeking.” He explained, ill-tempered, “Now is as good a time as any to rest, for I do not know what comes next. The beasts are tired, I am tired, and I am working out what to do. But there is no point running ourselves to exhaustion without direction, nor is there a point to whining! If you are bored, make yourself productive!” He snarled the last part, “You do not know what is out here, and our voices will attract unwanted attention. Do you wish to fight wild animals? You can’t even skin a dirt-spud!”

“But the fire would-” Fayroe began meekly.

“Would deter animals unused to the light, but be a beacon, perhaps, to the woman I am looking for! You have no thoughts other than those for yourself, boy, and I am sick of it! I did not force you to come, and if you are going to continue to stay, then you will hold your tongue and wait, same as I am!”

Fayroe had shrunk back so far he’d nearly fallen off his seat. Slowly, he scowled, and sat back up. He dropped his gaze, glowering at his shoes. “You sound like him.” He muttered lowly, ““Sit down and shut up, Fayroe. You don’t understand anything, Fayroe. I’m having you fucking tortured for your own good, Fayroe.””

“Perhaps that is because you never stop talking.” Ishran grouched without meaning to.

“Maybe that’s because I’ve never had someone to talk to!” Fayroe snapped back, just barely managing to keep their voice down.

Ishran opened his mouth, before Fayroe suddenly sat up and twisted to stare into the darkness towards the distant cliff outcrop.

Slowly, they got to their feet, eyes trained towards the south. Ishran paused, too, caught off guard by their sudden change in behavior. Neither of them moved for several seconds.

“Boy, what-”

“Sshh!” Fayroe flapped a hand at him, fin-fronds flaring wide as they leaned forward. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, but- do you hear that?”

Ishran paused again and listened, but no sounds other than the fire and the huffing of the beasts came to him. “What do you hear?” He asked.

Fayroe frowned, squinting towards the outcrop. “It’s like… a growl? But constant. A roar? It- look!” He suddenly pointed towards the cliffs.

Ishran fished a pair of farsight-goggles out of his bag and stepped up beside Fayroe, raising them to his eyes. At first, he saw nothing, until he saw the dust plume.

Following it with his eyes, he saw… something, racing towards them. It was dark, and hard to make out, even with the goggles, due to the distance. Whatever it was, it was making a beeline for their camp.

Ishran lowered the goggles.

“Sit down, boy.”

“Wh- shouldn’t we run?”

“No. We will wait for it to come to us.” Ishran returned to his seat, slipping the goggles into his bag.

Fayroe hesitated, but slowly took a seat again.

“What if it’s an enemy?”

“Then it will be dealt with.”

Ishran calmly picked up his dagger and block of wood again, and resumed his work, while Fayroe watched the thing approach.

“Do you have a gun?” He asked after a moment.

“No.”

“Crossbow?”

“I do not use long range weapons.”

“Oh…”

Finally, after fifteen minutes, Ishran could hear the rumbling, too. He decided to break camp and pack up, before he picked up his hammer, bags resting at his feet. Five minutes more, and he got to his feet as the thing roared up to the camp, only to come to a sudden stop.

Now that it was close, Ishran could see the noise had come from an all-terrain buggy, its driver bent low over the handlebars.

The driver in question slowly sat up, pulling goggles up off its eyes.

“Who are ye?” It demanded, dismounting its vehicle, “Thou be on accursed lands and must make leave, posthaste!”

“We could ask you the same thing, weirdo.” Fayroe said haughtily, his hand going for the knife on his belt.

“Stand down, boy.” Ishran ordered. He lowered his hammer himself, squinting at the jadeblood. “What’s your name?” He asked, voice carefully neutral.

The jade looked at him, tiny fins twitching. “Mine compatriots called me Cyber, but mine name be Alaric Evrren.” With a flourish of its hand, it bowed low to the oliveblood.

Outwardly, Ishran’s expression did not change. “Do you know a woman named Lucina?”

Alaric stood back up, brushing its hair back with a flick of its wrist. “Aye, be ye seekers of my ancestor?”

“Yes.”

“What for?”

“We were sent by her husband.”

“We were?” Fayroe asked, surprised.

Both midbloods ignored him.

“Oh, thou speaketh of the great captain? Mine forefather, Faslet?” Alaric nodded slowly, eyes scanning over the two of them. It drew its tongue over its fangs thoughtfully, before it nodded and turned away. “Upon thine word, I trust thou. Follow, and I shall shepherd ye to Lucina.” It mounted its buggy again, slipping its goggles down over its eyes.

Ishran nodded and turned, heading for the scaly-hoofs.

“It’s a funny little weirdo, isn’t it? What does it mean?” Fayroe asked quietly as they sidled up to Ishran.

“They will take us to Lucina.”

“Yeah… who is that?”

“The woman I am seeking.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Once the beasts were saddled, the fire kicked out, and Ishran and Fayroe on their mounts, Alaric revved their buggy to life. It waved and shouted something, before it was off, tearing across the sand.

Ishran and Fayroe snapped the reins and gave chase.

The beasts managed to keep up with the buggy as they made for the cliff outcrop in the distance, the roar of the buggy’s engine drowning the night in noise.

Finally, Alaric swerved to a stop before the cliffs, and the other two slowed their mounts.

Cutting the engine, Alaric leaned on the handlebars and pointed. They’d come to a stop before a yawning cavern opening, one that looked troll-made. It was into the dark cave that the jadeblood pointed.

“Mine foremother lies within.”

Ishran nodded. “Boy,” He addressed Fayroe, “set up camp.”

“Aren’t we going in?” Fayroe asked, surprised.

“No.” Ishran dismounted and grabbed something from his bag, before he walked away.

“So… what’s with the muzzle?” Ishran heard Fayroe ask as he moved some distance away from the cave.

Putting his back to the other two, he turned his attention to palmhusk he’d procured. It was definitely nothing fancy- an older version he’d gotten for cheap at a pawn shop- but it still worked, and was durable for travel. Thumbing through the menus, he raised it to his ear as it rang.

“Aye?” The trembling voice of Ruthless picked up after a few rings.

“We found her.”

[Everyone please welcome Alaric Evrren! (Link to bio)]