#every idea i have is like ehhhhh is it worth the time

[spearxwind]

The urge to draw eels kissing vs the urge to draw eels being ominous as fuck in the water

[twistedtummies2]

What do you think about the "Descendants" franchise?

Well, before I go into detail, let's put it this way: one of the reasons I was unsure about "Twisted Wonderland," when I first heard of it years ago, is because the concept vaguely reminded me of Descendants. I have since occasionally described the game as "Descendants Done Right." So, yeah, not a fan. :P First of all, I should point out I really only know the franchise through the movies: I know that there are some books, and I believe a TV show, both of which follow their own continuity. MAYBE those are better, but I can't say I'm in a hurry to find out. As for the films...I feel they're all such vast missed opportunities. Regarding the main characters and the plots, I feel there are some great ideas in there, somewhere, waiting to burst from their chrysalides, but they never really get a chance to. The movies favor "silly Disney sitcom antics" over any real substance. Most of the main players feel like stock characters I've seen a million times before, most of the jokes just aren't funny, to be blunt, and the drama and romance feel so half-baked. Not to mention, it feels like every plot is kind of the same thing, but with a few bells and whistles changed, over and over again. :P I also take umbrage with the depictions of the classic Disney Villains: I know one friend of mine actually really likes the way they're depicted as "has-been villains," but a.) that simple fact is part of my problem, because I have great respect and love for the characters, and b.) more importantly, even that aspect is inconsistent. They can't seem to make up their minds on whether the old vanguard of characters, especially the villains, are meant to be treated seriously or not. You can make a character funny AND also a force to be reckoned with - that's kind of the hallmark of the Disney Villains - but these films don't seem to know HOW to DO that. Not only that, but a lot of them just do NOT feel right with the characters we know: Jafar is absolutely NOTHING like Jafar, and Kristin Chenoweth - God bless her Glinda-playing heart - is just WOEFULLY miscast as Maleficent, to give two examples. Some of the portrayals of the classic villains are okay, but most of them are just so many levels of "missing the point entirely." As for the music...ehhhhh, I'd say it's hit or miss. Mostly miss, to be honest, but there are a few songs, scattered throughout the movies, that I like. And I'll give the films this credit: I have seen and sat through every single one of them, however begrudgingly. I think it's because I have this faint hope that at some point, SOME point, MAYBE they'll finally do something WORTH seeing. I think the third film came pretty close - it's the closest I have come yet to actually liking these sorry pictures - but even that one has too many flaws for me to get fully behind it. Overall...there's some glimmers of goodness in the Descendants movies, but at the end of the day, I think the ACTUAL Maleficent said it best...

[alpydk]

Question first:

How hard you wanna be destroyed?

Ah shit...here it comes, if you don't like one skip it.

So be prepared to be destroyed by the HORRIBLE QUESTION GAME🔥☠️ (Friday, what could go wrong?)

3 + 13 +27+29+36 +37+54+61+63+64+70

(I have my problems to choose single ones it seems)

Me? Destroyed? I think you're confusing me with someone weaker. Like Steve Burnside. Watch me lose some followers now because of some of these answers (54 especially)

03: Do you regret anything?

Oh, tonnes of things. If I had a time machine, I'd probably be using it constantly for things. Dropping out of college, starting to s/h, getting married to my ex, resigning from my job at Blizzard, all the shit with my dad, all the times I never said no... Long fucking list.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

I get too lazy to hate people. I get incredibly angry at people and hold grudges, but hate? Ehhhhh. I've always hated Andie McDowell. Never met her, no idea what she is like as a person. Just get irrationally angry when she is on the TV.

Look at her... Thinking she stands a chance with the God that is James Spader. Alpy disapproves.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes. See first marriage. Married my 'high school sweetheart' after 7 years together. We sort of became more friends than we did a couple. He was clingy, emotional, dependent on me for everything, and I was a headcase much like I am now who did not need a mummy's boy gazing at me lovingly all the time. For a long while, I believed I was simply asexual. Turns out I just wasn't attracted to him. Met someone at work, started getting emotionally involved with the guy. Ex found out, started crying. I went cold on him completely, realised saying 'I love you' was an automatic response rather than actually meaning it. He left the Friday. Come Monday, I was in bed with the new guy. We were divorced 9 months after getting married. 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? See above. But then he cried at everything so it could have just been the sunset or something.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

My partner says I do, but I'm not so sure. I think it's more I'm selective about who I give those chances to. Are they someone I can actually trust who has just fucked up or at they someone who's just fucking useless and not worth the stress? (Can you see where Thomas comes from now?)

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Definitely forgive. Ask forgiveness, not permission, as the old saying goes. I have forgiven so many things over the years, but you can guarantee I have logged every single one of those things for next time when I'm inevitably let down.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

Oooo.... Let me go against the grain (as usual) and say yes. Abusive relationships need an out sometimes and if fucking another person is that out, then so be it. Like yeah, we can all go on about how you just need to communicate and blah blah blah, but in reality, shit like that doesn't always work. You're not always going to find compromise and sometimes a person just isn't going to be mentally sound enough to either leave or stay in a relationship. How many people are staying with partners (in mostly good relationships) because they're afraid of hurting that person or because they have no other choice in the matter? Cheating could help both of them out.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

No. It's patronising as fuck. Stop with that shit.

63: Would you change your name?

Took me long enough to get my changed as it was. I was known by my middle name until 9 years ago. But even then, I don't think I would. I have a pretty bitching name. I think I'd rather change it to something more neutral if anything, like Max or something. Charlie was always a great name growing up. Maybe that. How is this a horrible question?

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Last person was my partner so no. Who are we kissing that would suddenly make it difficult to kiss them again? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

My kid is probably the only person I wouldn't even hesitate about. Sure I love my partner, but... it's not that simple. So yeah, my kid. And possibly Gale, if he were to exist in my life and love me and all the over caveats that would be required.

[luciferfemme]

I'm gonna go on a bit of a tangent here but I have to say like... copyright is such a scam. And like there are two main factors that expose the lie that is copyright and this idea that like if copyright didn't exist then anyone would be able to claim a work as solely their own. a) public domain works b) fanfiction

Every other year a public domain IP is rebooted and we all just kind of intrinsically understand that this reboot or reimagining is not the final version of it. It is not the original, the creator of this reimagining is not taking credit as the creator of the thing and for that matter no matter how many times a story or a concept is retold we always know that the original was always there.

Fanfic is much the same way in the sense that as a general rule 9 million fanfic writers can write a coffeeshop AU featuring a different pairing or even the same pairing and we all know that the characters belong to the original creator and as long as it isn't like word for word plagiarism then we can all just kind of agree that we all have our own interpretation of these characters and scenery and scenarios.

For that matter, we should also talk about officially LICENSED "fan works" which is to say someone who was not the creator of the thing but has permission to write and create their own story within that already copyrighted canon. Take a massive property like Star Wars which has had multiple novels written, video games, spinoff series and the like and all of these things aren't written by the original creator but they're still in that same field. They're in the same set of IP and therefore because they were given the greenlight by their respective copyright holder (which can be transferred eg: Disney now owning it from Lucas) suddenly these works that could in any other context be considered officially sanctioned fanwork is now considered canon.

The fact that "copyright" I think initially was meant to protect creators but has since become entirely corrupted and used to only protect large corporations (eg Disney) tells you everything you need to know about why I say that copyright is ultimately a scam.

It's one thing to say like I created this thing, it is my intellectual property therefore no one can claim that it is theirs over me; it is quite another to say, I created this thing that is similar to 500 other things but if you use it without my permission I can now sue you into oblivion also I'm a corporation so I have the funds to do so infinitely for things that will not actually harm my IP.

And I recognize that there may be the argument about what about stories that could potentially damage the original IP and it's like... ehhhhh. I still find myself going back to the same argument of like... Cinderella has been made a thousand times. And we can all have our favorites and say this version is better and ignore other versions. So I'm not sure the strawman argument of suggesting that the potential for abuse is greater than the current abuses of the copyright system that currently take place.

It's worth noting that for the vast majority of authors when their book is auctioned to a publisher they don't keep the majority of their copyright. So if for instance, a publisher wants to make a film of that book they are under no obligation for that film to have much of anything to do with the original storyline. And I would argue if a film is made of a novel and the film becomes more well known than that novel and the film has little to nothing in comment with the novel itself is that not more damaging to the original IP?

[alephskoteinos]

People are talking about Christian witchcraft again because Christians suddenly found Ocean Keltoi's little video about from a while ago, and predictably getting butthurt about the whole idea that Christians can be witches. So I kind of just want to say my take on the whole thing is....ehhhhh.

Obviously religion is a lot more fluid than people believe it to be and especially more than Christians would assume, but while I do think it's important to stress the historic presence and role of magic in the context of Christianity, I also can't help but wonder what did we expect when the basic orthodoxic form of Christianity (itself an inescapably orthodoxic religion since its early years) itself has frequently opposed magic and witchcraft, whether as sin and diabolism or simply as an ignorant (never mind impious) superstition. That's not something that should bind practitioners of witchcraft of course - if dogma was really such an obstacle what would be the point? But it does nonetheless lend itself to a contradictory space within Christianity, and I don't think it's wise to pretend that that doesn't exist so long as it is Christianity being engaged with.

Also, if you'll forgive, I can't help but think, why? It's not "nonsense" in religious terms, since magic, witchcraft, and occultism are not religions in themselves and more like adjacent to religion, but it's also juggling these practices with a religion that has at nearly every turn opposed them, and ultimately sought to suppress them - and in this regard, even Christian occultism has never really been safe from the maw of ecclesiastic repression. It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the appeal of it as an alternative to "more popular" occult currents, yet as time went by I see it somewhat less.

Personally I cannot help but note that I have sensed the whole theme of the synthesis of Christianity and witchcraft as a conscious alternative to Satanism and the Left Hand Path. My "favourite" and perhaps the archetypical example of would be the "Gnostic Luciferianism" of Christopher Williamson (a.k.a. serpentchrist69), whose system is entirely based on the interpretation of Valentinian Gnostic Christianity as a Luciferian doctrine, with the aim of reactivating a sort of mystic Christianity as an alternative to Satanism. To be blunt, stuff like this began to annoy me as I examined it, to the point of total aversion on my part. I suppose it's in this light combined with the outcome of my studies over the last few years that I already decided, with my formulation of Satanic Paganism, that my answer is not to reject Satanism or the Left Hand Path but instead to renew those things, opposing reactionary currents and tendencies by reactivating the most radical forms thereof, with Stanislaw Przybyszewski as in many ways the main point of inspiration.

But, you know, from a Pagan standpoint there's nothing inherently "invalid" about things like Christian witchcraft. After all it's basically like the way some early Christians still practiced magic and even occasionally worshipped other gods alongside God and Jesus - from the strict terms of pre-Christian polytheism, such syncretism was not only acceptable but also arguably the norm for religion. It's ultimately very valid. I just don't personally align with it. But I suppose it is worth seeing Christian witches confuse and bedevil other Christians just by being themselves.

[nudityandnerdery]

Got anymore avengers fix it ideas like your awesome one about Natasha so she isn't tossed away like garbage by the narrative?

Multiverse of Madness should never have been a Dr. Strange story.

Make the movie with Wanda as the main character. She's a woman who has lost everything, repeatedly, she's had her family torn away from her, what, four times now? Five? And Marvel's response is, hey, let's make her the main antagonist?

On the other hand, Strange is... hung up on his ex. That's. That's kind of his big question through the movie. And don't get me wrong, I fucking love the "I love you in every universe" line. But his character arc is going from "guy who shows up at his ex-girlfriend's wedding to ask her if it ever could have worked with them" to "guy who has moved on a little bit." That's fucking boring. Yes, there's more behind it, with the dimensional travel and the Darkhold and America Chavez, but...

All of that ties into Wanda's story.

It would have been more interesting to make it about Wanda. Wrap her in the grief and loss that they denied her in Endgame and she finally got to face in Wandavision. Make it a story about a woman who has lost so much and is willing to do anything to get her children back. Make it a tragedy that we see how she sinks deeper and deeper into her loss, what she's willing to sacrifice to get her family. Show us how dangerous the Scarlet Witch actually is, give Wanda her due- this is the woman who in the comics can literally rewrite reality, let her live up to that. She's potentially the most powerful spellcaster in the fucking setting- I apologize for nothing, Strange. (He's not even Sorcerer Supreme anymore.) The scenes where Wanda is fucking up the Illuminati? The best fight of the movie, Strange fighting Mordo is just kinda eh compared to that. Give us more of Wanda getting closer to what she wants, give us that danger building in what she's doing to get it.

And let her finally realize, almost too late, that it's not worth it, and she has to fix it. Let us feel the devastation as she realizes how badly she's fucked up, how far she's fallen. Let her think of the family she's lost- and would they even recognize her, if she's willing to do this to get any of them back? But let her make her sacrifice to put things closer to right again, in her final moments knowing that she's doing what should be done, and honoring those loved ones she's lost.

Do I think Marvel would ever have done it? No, of course not. Do I think they could have pulled it off if they tried? Ehhhhh. I was reading today about how, when the movie lost its first director, they had several people they considered before going with Sam Raimi. One of them was Mike Flanagan. And, that version of Wanda's story I would have loved to see? Done by the guy who did The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor? Fuck yes, I would have loved that.

As a larger issue, it's dumb that Marvel established the idea of the multiverse in What If...? and then fuck the timeline up in Loki just to do absolutely nothing with that for this movie. Like what the fuck? I thought that would have been the whole point? But, then again, they can't seem to get their movies and their TV shows to work together since Winter Soldier, so whatever. It's just annoying to me.

Oh, and also Christine shouldn't have said the MCU is Earth-616, obviously, that's the comics and the MCU is... Earth-19999? I think. But minor thing, annoyed me a lot.

[captainlevisteacup]

All Characters, the Nicknames MC has For Them, and the Events That Follow: A Wholly Unnecessary Thread

Warnings: None, unless you count demon boys being butthurt about being called out

Enjoy my stupidity!

Lucifer👿🖤🥀☕🍷

Luci

Pridey Pants

Gordon Ramsey of Life

Mom

Loosen-up Luci

Jesus's emo brother

*cough* Daddy *cough*

The results of these nicknames....they were not pretty. MC calls him Luci? He doesn't LOVE it. Does that small scary smile that MC knows (or should know) not to push.

Pridey pants...ohhh boy. MC says it at dinner....is absolutely terrified when he doesnt do anything. After dinner, follows MC into the hallway to dole out *ahem* punishment

Beel is the only one to understand the Gordon Ramsey one. Starts booming laughter

Mom. Oho. This is the second worst. Happened when MC asked Luci to pass them a steak knife. Ended up with the knife being thrown into the table, inches from MC's hand.

Ah. The worst one. Jesus's emo brother. He doesnt even know where to begin. The brothers AND Diavolo have to SPRINT away to keep from cackling like crazed lunatics. Simeon is the only one who openly laughs. Kitchen duty for 2 months. Absolutely worth it. Would do it again without hesitation.

Mammon💛💵💰💳

Mammory Gland

Finding Nemo Seagull (Mine! Mine!)

Crow

Tan Elsa

Greedo

General Greedous

"Ehhhhh? What's a mammary gland?"

*muffled Satan laughter*

Mc has to explain the crow one, because apparently it isnt common knowledge that crows love shiny things?

Tan Elsa. Levi was crying when this one slipped out of MC's mouth. All Mammon could do was be offended. After much, MUCH coaxing, reluctantly agreed to dance to "Let it Go" in a dress.

Levi💜🐍🎮🕹

Has a thing for degradation, so you can really only insult him with anime stuff

Levi Heichou (if you get this, we can be friends)

Leviathan the lonely

Snake man

Mermaid Boy

Snekky snek

Levia-hand

He could ignore all of them.....except for

LEVIA-HAND

I mean come on!

"MC did you really have to go there? That was really-"

"Below the belt?"

"UGH MCCCCC"

*distant suggestive Asmo noises*

Satan💚💢📚

Angry bean

Grumpy kitty

Nerd

Angry librarian

Blond, angsty James Charles

Fashion disaster

There isn't a single one of these that DOESNT make Satan want to break something.

Who is James Charles? Fashion disaster?! "I happen to dress very nicely, thank you very much"

"How am I a librarian? I just read, it's very different, honestly MC"

Refuses to even acknowledge "grumpy kitty"

Asmodeus😘💋❤💅

Asmo-dick-us

Ass-mo

Momo

Polly Pocket

The kinky one

*jokingly* slutttttt

He, surprisingly, doesn't mind any of them. He thinks it's really cute that MC has nicknames for him. He always encourages you to call him them more often, and even makes a bunch of them for MC. His favorite one is Momo, because:

"Its just so cuuuuuuute!"

Beel🥺🍔💪🏻

Sexy Vacuum man

The last Weasley

Snack Buddy

Hungry Bean

Un-beel-eavable

These all make the boy SO HAPPY

MC cares enough to make nicknames for him?

*happy Beel noises*

Wait. MC thinks he's sexy?😳

What's a Weasley?

He has a snack buddy?☺☺☺

Belphie🙁💭💤🛏

Sloth man

Sleepyhead

That bastard with a choking kink

Killer grip

The emo twin

Black Sheep

"I woke up like this" master

He wants to be mad. He really does. But there's a problem: he can't argue with ANY of them. Kinda makes him smile just a LITTLE

Is glad MC has forgiven him enough to actually JOKE about the choking incident.

Spends a lot of time trying to get someone to explain what "emo" means. Levi knows what it means, and refuses to tell him because he thinks its funnily accurate

Dia👑💮🔥

Double D Dia

Big Tiddy Divvy

King of the Boobs

Díablo

Milk man

Firehead

The rich, gay uncle

There isnt a single minute he doesn't find these hysterical. He thinks it's a charming human world custom, to give someone a nickname. He also thinks it shows how comfortable with him MC is.

His favorite is easily DD Dia. Mc noticed his body? *smirk* interesting

Why are so many of them boob related? MC does realize he is a male, right?

The rich, gay uncle. Diavolo has no words. Absolutely shook.

Lucifer overheard some of these...was appalled MC was harassing the PRINCE with their ridiculous nicknames.

He was about to go off on a terrified MC, when Diavolo stepped in laughing and told Lucifer....

"Calm down, Mom."

Mc nearly choked on their own suppressed laughter

Barbatos had to quickly usher them away so MC could openly laugh and therefore breathe

Barbatos 🧐👀🐀🕓

Barbie

Simply one hell of a butler

Sebas-chan

Time warp man

Chuck E Cheese

The cake maker

Understands every single reference, is actually surprisingly cool with it, as long as MC doesn't embarrass him with it.

Diavolo catches wind of what MC is calling Barbaties, eventually starts adopting the nicknames

The only one Barbatos doesn't like is "Chuck E Cheese", because he hates rats so so much. How dare they compare him to one of those disgusting creatures?

Simeon🌙🤍🌹🌈

Boomer

Dad joke central

Beautiful man

Sinful shoulders

Angel Dad

Sin-ammon Roll

Simeon can't decide between being flattered or appalled. He's not THAT old. Nor is he a father! Well, maybe more of a father figure in regards to Luke, but still! He doesn't tell THAT many dad jokes.. right?

Blushes intensely at Beautiful man and Sinammon roll. Wonders if MC really means that or is just teasing him.

Eventually he makes the stupid decision to ask Asmo....wrong move. Asmo ends up laying out all of Simeon's desires towards MC, the week following he can't even look MC in the face. MC has no clue what happened and starts to think it was their fault.

They confront Simeon about it after a while, and Simeon full on breaks and confesses to MC

Asmo takes full credit for this happening

Solomon😑🖤💫🧙🏻‍♂️

Shady Lady

The sus one

Kinky dude

Draco malfoy

Doesn't mind MC having insulting nicknames for him....he has them too. Starts swapping them with MC to see who can make the other laugh harder.

Sometimes, the brothers will sit in and listen while they exchange them, and they'll keep score and vote on who wins

Eventually, Diavolo and Simeon get involved

Barbatos caters these events

Luke😇👶🏼🌸🧁

Baby angel

Son

Woof

Puppy

Little doggo

The poor boy has no idea which one he hates more. Gets so flustered whenever MC calls him one of these that his whole face turns red

Simeon tells him its adorable every time without fail

This makes Luke even worse. All MC has to do is call Luke one of the names and its fair game for Luke hunting

The only one he actually...kind of...likes is Son. He likes the idea of MC as a parent figure.

Which leads him to realize: what if MC and Simeon got together! Then MC WOULD be his parent

Gets Solomon and Barbatos to help bring MC and Simeon together

They end up bombarding the two with an obnoxious Valentine's day-esque cake

Did it work?

[gffa]

Some video recs for if you’re still in Quarantine Ennui: - I don’t know how Too Many Spirits (from Watcher, with Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej and Steven Lim) will come across to those who aren’t already fans of them from Buzzfeed Unsolved, but I THOROUGHLY enjoyed just how ridiculous this entire series was and how much fun they were clearly having and how being tipsy and then probably outright drunk was amping up that they were just having a blast being in person again for the first time in ages.  I genuinely laughed all the way through each episode! - Speaking of Buzzfeed Unsolved, season 7 of True Crime has started and there are 2 episodes + 2 Q&As up already!  I haven’t caught up, so I can’t say how this season is going compared to previous years (the previous years are so worth watching), but I do always enjoy them, there’s just such a goofy, ridiculous charm to them, that they’re at their best when Ryan and Shane are just sitting around shooting the shit and asking stupid questions about the cases they’re into and making fun of each other. - I recently saw Brandon Farris’ Learning To Knit video and was instantly charmed and immediately got sucked into watching a ton of his videos because he’s just so deeply delightful as a person.  While the learning videos are always fun (and he’s about the only person who I care to watch opening videos for, like he actually makes “opening boxes of presents from fans” really kind of fun!), my favorites are probably the 5 Minute Craft videos he did and they’re a good second place to start.  He’s just so clearly enjoying what he’s doing and enjoying doing ridiculous things/being a ridiculous person and it’s thoroughly entertaining to me. - I don’t always know how I feel about D’Angelo Wallace talking about specific people in his videos, sometimes it does feel a little “person who isn’t even involved makes a video on these often highly sensitive subjects”, but at the same time he clearly very thoroughly researches his videos, he makes a point to stay in the observer lane, he admits when he fucks up, and he’s really, really fair about it and I find his insights genuinely worthwhile.  He also does an amazing job of covering a subject, like I originally started watching him for the three part series on Jeffree Star, Shane Dawson, and Tati Westbrook, but his recent ones on Logan Paul and Jake Paul were absolutely fascinating.  I stayed up for hours after I should have gone to bed because I could not put those videos down, much of which is straight up due to the host’s charisma and that I find his take worthwhile to hear.  I feel like he’s genuinely fair to people, which is what keeps me coming back, like, I did not expect to end up “Logan Paul isn’t the worst person” afterwards, but that’s genuinely where it ended up!  I really, really like his videos. - I’ve watched a bunch of SarahZ’s videos and I feel like most people probably watched her for the My Immortal video, but I honestly didn’t care for that one, the research just didn’t quite add up for me (the Weird Apostrophe thing she talks about in the video as part of what made her link two people together is something I used to see in a lot of people back in the day, it was a formatting thing and I used to have to clean up so many FFNET files to get them to readable format on my reader because of it, so using that for evidence felt Ehhhhh to me) but I enjoyed her Dash Con video and Oncler Fandom videos.  I do find that I really hope she doesn’t wind up making the TJLC video, though, because even if she stays away from what happened at the con, I feel like too many people who were really hurt by all of that don’t want her to do it and that should be respected. - I watch pretty much every episode of Jim Sterling’s Jimquisition because I remember enjoying his style of talking from previous videos (well, and the whole “Digital Homicide Sues Jim Sterling for 10 Million Dollars” thing was a WILD RIDE) but I stay with him because he really does a thorough job of covering so much of the fuckery in the video game industry and he’s serious about how much stuff like loot boxes infuriate him.  There’s very clearly someone who cares about other people and doing right by social issues, while also trying to balance how the outrage machine of YouTube gets views versus that sometimes he wants to talk about good things, too, and I really like the balance he strikes for it. - Folding Ideas will get me to watch a video about just about anything, because he’s another one where I feel like it’s partly that I find his thoughts worthwhile to listen to and partly that the research generally feels really thorough, so I get a good view of whatever subject he’s talking about.  I originally found him for his Evangelion videos (here and here) but I also enjoyed his Flat Earth video a lot, too.

[smolbeandrabbles]

Out of Nowhere Girl - Talos/Keller/OC (Captain Marvel)

Set In Canon MCU Captain Marvel / Guardian’s of the Galaxy Universe with a few out-of-canon ‘twists’...

Author’s Note:  Posting this a week after I see Captain Marvel (AS FOLLOWS CANON!) but still tagging with spoilers.

Oh my god. I was having an existential crisis after the movie and the fic that I posted that is not canon (Science & Faith. If you want to read you can click the thing) That I wrote this between acts at the C2C country music festival on 9th March... That makes this the quickest write and edit I have EVER done. It’s probably quite telling... (It’s 10/3/19 @ 8:26 PM GMT.) She is with Keller, Talos just simed him. I’m making that clear right now! It’ll make sense when you read!   This is an alternate version to ‘Science & Faith’ - so that characters there are the same. This one just follows actual movie canon.

Don’t worry it’s not the same story. It has a few similar elements... It will likely go back and forth between the two time periods. Please someone get what I did with his full name... 😂😭

NOT reader insert. Disclaimer: I own nothing but my OC... I am slightly bending canon on Supernova; but I liked the concept. Maybe I've set it so there's more than one? Like a special forces part of the Nova Corp? (Tbh still figuring this out) So you can have it coming from another Saal... sorry not sorry Expositional conversation-narrative heavy... Sorry!

Simmed? Simed? Sim-ed? Which is it!?

Premise: When Keller gets sim-ed by Talos as a result of the Kree-Skrull war the aftermath is of no great consequence to his partner... However, when exploring on behalf of the Nova Corps Keller’s distress signature coming from a planet half way across the galaxy leads her to investigate...

Word Count: 4384

Warnings: Spoilers! Murder (I guess) Actually this might assume you know about her from Science & Faith...

My little out, out of nowhere girl Where you been all my life? Where you been trying to hide? It's like you’ve come Come from another world Fell right out of the sky And landed right here tonight...  

Keller had had a day. He’s had days before, as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent and sometime-Scientist he expected for days to be a part of his life.  But this had been something else entirely. When he opened the door to his apartment, he was at least glad to be greeted by an essence of normality. Well, as normal as it could get he supposed…

Maliyah was pouring over drawing after drawing and ship schematics. She still couldn’t get something on that ship of hers to work right. Or, maybe she knew she was just stalling for time… She looked up with a smile; “I can already tell you have a lot to tell me…” “Yeah…” He sighed, throwing his keys on the counter and allowing a pause. “It’s where to start…” He looked across to her, at the way her skin sparkled just at his presence… She’d crash landed to Earth nearly two years previously. Through studying her they had built a friendship – and now it was a lot more than that. The blue lights across her skin; because, all of his were blue or white, or purple… used to only light up when he touched her. Or, when he was feeling something at the extreme end of the spectrum. They turned red every time he got hurt, and that hurt her too… So he’d tried to make his life easier. Tried. Now the lights appeared just because he was in proximity… She said that showed they had a strong bond. Keller was only human, so he felt proud of that. He hadn’t ever expected to see anything else otherworldly – until today happened. “Maliyah… You know a lot about the other species out there… right?” She put her pen down and turned her full attention on him; “Yes. Enough. Why?” “Because you were the only other race I thought I’d ever see. But clearly, I was wrong. Because-” He faltered, squinted in remembering and then tried again “…Tell me about shapeshifters?” “Narrow that down. It isn’t an exclusive trait…” She tilted her head “…But now I’m worried.” “Okay, uh… Green… pointed ears… Like… linear markings or patterns…or…” “Skrulls!?” She was takenaback “Skrulls on Earth!?” Then she slammed her hands on the table, more in interest that anger; “WAIT! Did you get SIMED by a Skrull!?!??!” Clearly he had no idea what that meant by the look on his face, but she couldn’t hide her laugh; “…Wait. Skrulls are on Earth? Okay, I’ll roll with it… Did a Skrull shapeshift into YOU.” “…Yes.” She laughed again “Oh God!” Then she attempted to stop herself “Oh! Baby, that’s terrible!” “Doesn’t sound like you mean it.” She cleared her throat, “Whilst it’s funny it’s not exactly good news…” She rested her hands on her thighs and chewed her lip “…What did you think about..?” “Huh?” “Your last thoughts. Before they simed you.” “Probably something like: Oh GOD I hope I don’t die?!” “You didn’t think about me, at all?” He hesitated, it probably wasn’t the best idea to confess to his other half he hadn’t thought about her whilst waiting on the fate of his own life… “…Uh…No…?” “Good.” “Good?!” She was clearly as full of surprises. As any ‘alien’ should be, he guessed. “Yes. I’m an Auron, my race and my planet are dying… Sightings of us are rare even in our part of the galaxy… As an adult female I am worth a hell of a lot to my home planet – And a lot of my abilities will be worth something to a race like to Skrulls.” “…So you’re telling me that not talking about you – like you asked - and therefore obviously not consciously thinking of you is good?” She nodded; “I wonder if the Kree war has come all the way out here?” She almost laughed again “That’s no good for me either… Considering my affinity with Xandar… You’ve done very well if they don’t know a THING.” “…Have you seen me today!?” Her sentence sparked panic in him. “Right now and when you left. I haven’t been out of here even once. I’ve been working this algorithm…” she shook her head “You haven’t come back, I haven’t called you… Zip. I promise.” “…Okay…” “Don’t worry about me… I’m more worried about you… Getting Simed is not the experience you want to have… are you okay?” “Seeing someone change into me… That’s bad, getting tied up and left in a Blockbuster though… Ehhhhh….!” She shook her head “…You really went through it then, huh?” She beckoned him over, and he was all too glad to walk into her arms… She brushed some stray hairs out of his face, her touch gentle and welcoming… A different set of colours formed on her skin – these lights pale and milky… pastels… enveloping him in her arms the effect was instantly calming… “I’m sorry…” “…You don’t need to be sorry…” “I told you, nothing about another race coming to Earth is good…” He almost laughed; “That makes you an anomaly then… You must be the one good thing.” ** Nick Fury almost jumped at the next knock at his door. This time it was Keller that opened it. "Oh! SIR!!!" He looked more than a little weary and Keller knew why. "Nick, I swear it's actually me! And I can prove it, but to do so you have to come with me." "Yeah that sounds... Safe." "Unfortunately I'm not the one who needs to information in your head. Or I could just stand here." He winced as he realised it maybe wasn't the best choice of words "Urm. Look just... Come to my office..." He backed out with an attempt at a convincing smile and wandered down the corridor to his own work space.

As usual it was hard to get Maliyah to look inconspicuous. This time she put up a fair argument of she'd only be going car, to security door, and then to his office. Still, she was sitting in a top that cut across her shoulders AND exposed her stomach and a short, layered skirt that showed off her legs. The marks across her skin, and all his fault, were more than just visible. And the jacket she'd brought because he insisted she wore one, was of course emblazoned with her Nova Corp rank insignia. Geez... He almost thought about loosening his tie just looking at her. She was curled up in one of his chairs reading a file of his. He rolled his eyes, of course the first thing Maliyah would do was break into his cabinet. She had a stack in front of her too. Her shoes kicked off and left by the chair. "I've asked him. The rest is up to you." "Does he trust you?" She didn’t look up "Would you?!" "...Not entirely. Depends what Sim Keller did!!!" "Well it probably wasn't GOOD!!" He sat behind his desk and nodded to her files; "Careful with those." She turned a page towards him "Why do you have a Nova symbol?" "It’s a very complicated astrological algorithm..." Why she thought everything centred around the 8-point star of Xandar was beyond him. "... Did you do this..." she nodded to the algorithm itself "Yes" "You're a scientist!?" "Part time... I don't... Not all the time... I dabble..." "That's why you wanted my blood. Right?" "Your bloodwork is... Incredible." "You should have tried some Skrull blood if you think MINE is interesting." He was at least amused; "... Bit late for that advice!!" then tilted his head; "Does it… Change? Now we are... Now we have a...?" connection? Did her race give that a name? "Yes?" "We should do yours again." "Worry about your own." She noticed the way he furrowed his eyebrows in concern; "... What we did... It'll affect yours too." He stared at his hands with wide eyes "And I'm not entirely sure what being simed will do to you…" "Geez! I clearly just need to take you everywhere with me don't I!?" "I don’t wanna get Simed...!!!!" That was the wrong thing to say as his door opened.

Jonathan knew it, and Malyiah knew it by the way he put his head in his hands. She thought it was cute. She thought a lot of things humans did to display their emotions were cute. She hadn't known a race feel so acutely as this. She'd chosen well, she couldn't have ever expected to. He was the best surprise.   Nick looked across to the female voice that had spoken and almost had a heart attack; He wasn’t faced with a straight-laced, suited, female S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Instead her purple fading to pink hair, eyes so deep blue they were purple, the mish-mash of clothes she was wearing - that still strangely matched - and the foreign markings visible every so often on her skin, like someone had tattooed her with white ink, made him think she wasn’t human at all. "Who the hell are--!?!" Jonathan Keller jumped quickly to her rescue; "Nick there's a lot of classified stuff that's happened in the last two years..." "Two years!? WHAT!?" "Remember that crash we were called to in Utah?" "... Yeah. Highest level. You were there ages... No-one ever spoke about it." "Yeah... Uh..." he brought his hands together and pointed across to the girl in the chair. "...Hi!" she smiled "You must be Nick Fury." He turned to Keller "Sir!!! Don't start telling me there's more of them!!! What is she S.H.I.E.L.D intelligence!?!" "... The fact there IS more of them is exactly why we NEED to tell her everything. But I was tied up in a Blockbuster ok, so I'm no help! You are." She was looking down at herself; did she look like S.H.I.E.L.D intelligence? Nick wasn’t sure he was following; "He employed you... Right? That's why you're here and you know everything...?" "No I'm not employed. HEY! Jonathan there's a thought!" "I'm not paying you. That's got implications I'd rather not have...!" If Maliyah didn’t catch on, Keller's agent did; "Wait---!! Are you two!?" Nick quickly grasped the situation as he pointed between the two of them. Keller nodded in silent admittance "It wasn't meant to be like that. I had to study her... But they were... It was inhumane Nick. I moved her out here... She's trying to get her ship back in order."   Malyiah shrugged as if that wasn’t the explanation she would give; "I won't know what I'm gonna do until it's fixed. At the moment it's in a high security area back in Utah..." "Yeah, I've seen it. I didn't know there was anyone involved... So you know about the Kree? And Skrulls." Her jaw tightened at the mention of the Kree; "So they DID bring their war here." "I'm not sure it was intentional." she hummed, fingering the pages of the file she was reading for a second "And what happened? Where are they now?" "Gone. Why..." "Gone where!? Like gone, gone!?" Keller looked glad of that, juxtaposing Maliyah’s sudden panic. "She didn't say where she was taking them..." he narrowed his eyes "Whose side are you on!?" Fury wouldn’t risk Carol’s life. Never. "... I'm not really on anyone's side... BUT... I guess I align better with the Skrulls..." She gave a shrug. "... The war isn't my problem. Them siming Keller is my problem. The Kree out here with me here that's ALSO my problem. " " Maliyah..." It was Keller’s warning " I'm not trying to start anything!" she held her hands up and turned back to Nick; "You can't help me, but you know they’re all gone? " " We have a Flerken though... " "I can tell by your eye... " she tilted her head, reading Fury’s own emotions; "What are you afraid of?? Is it him or me?? I'm stronger than you Terrans are but I'm not dangerous... And he's him. But I can understand the wary feeling there... " Nick tried to make it look like he wouldn't be afraid of Keller and he didn't know what she was talking about... And it worked. For around half a second. He took a breath and pointed to his boss; "Prove he isn't one." "He's not. He reacts to me." "Prove you aren't one." "I doubt they can get my empathic abilities spot on... They can probably try, but I doubt that they can get their skin to react exactly the same... It’s a unique pattern... And it's triggered through a DNA reaction. A Skrull would need both, but it can only sim to one set of DNA... " "Hang on... What?! And - WHAT!?" Nick realised he hadn’t listened to her first explanation clearly. She took a breath; "Like this..."  She watched him carefully as she guided years of evolution through her race to latch onto Keller... The feel of him around her was intense enough to let the bright lights flicker over her skin in all his shades. Nick was at least staring at her in wonder.  "That's how you know I'm not one.” "... How does... That work?" She tilted her head "At first instance. For these unique patterns... Intimacy. Real physical intimacy. For anything more than that... For a real connection... Blood. His mixed with mine, mine with his." "That sounds... Painful…” His eyes flicked to Keller again, who was keeping his gaze locked on Maliyah; "Have you..." "No. I wouldn't ask that of him." She didn't like that Nick would insinuate that she would "It is by far a conversation for another time..." Nick at least noticed that Keller look uneasy, which settled him a little. He changed the flow of the conversation again; "Why are you so intent on knowing where they went?" She shook her head "I'm just trying to make sure they don't know about me. And the only way to do that is to check in on their simed memories." "I don't think they are much of a threat to you... Right?" "Huh." Maliyah folded her arms "I'd rather they didn't tie him up and sim him. Guess we'll let that one go too, huh?" He had to crack a smile, she wasn’t human. Obviously, but she was so human. He wondered if that was her upbringing or Keller’s influence; "Nick Fury, S.H.I.E.L.D Agent.” She stood to shake his hand; "Maliyah Saal. Nova Corps. Ravager Captain... Auron by way of Xandar... Pleasure to meet you." She gave him a warm smile, and it was like he instantly got why Keller had been taken in. She seemed strong, she had a sass about her that clearly EVERY extra terrestrial had... But she had an instant warmth... She turned to Keller which made Nick do the same; " I think we could be in the clear... Guess we'll need to keep a check on everything. " "You'd make a good agent. Are you sure we can't hire her!? " "Absolutely not." Keller let him know he thought he must be joking. She laughed, with a wink; "It's okay, Nick. My duty is to the Nova Corps. I leave S.H.I.E.L.D in the capable hands of its Human workers... "

 **

 " I think I've figured it out. " "What? " "The problem with your ship...? " "... At 3am!?" "You’re clearly not sleeping either..." She rolled over to stare at him. He was looking at the ceiling. His glasses were pushed up into his hairline and he was squinting "... No, I really think I've cracked it." "At least I was awake for something that wasn't stupidly thinking about fixing my damn ship." "No... But... I looked at your notes. You've been working on them for two years... I wanted to help... And formulate some for myself. I think I've got it Maliyah. I think I can get you home..." He turned to face her, but the look she gave was one of fear. "Don't you dare say that like I want to leave!" "Maliyah... You know it is dangerous for you to stay here... " He was extraordinarily calm. Like he was already letting her go. It only caused her to shake her head. "NO!" She buried herself in him; digging her nails into the skin of his arms and her head on his chest her colours burst into life and illuminated his darkened room. "Maliyah..." He ran a hand through her hair "... Let me let you go... Earth is not where you belong." She shook her head again; "Look at this..." He took her hand in his free one and lifted her arm, the way the colours danced for him. "Jonathan. I don't belong out there either... I belong with you." "I cannot protect you from your planet..." "Do not ask me to leave. I will not leave you." He was pretty sure she was crying... He gathered her close in his arms. "I'm human.... Maliyah... My race is breakable. It's vulnerable... It’s clear to me we have NO idea what’s really out there... You don't want this..." "Stop telling me what I want. I HAVE what I want." "Anywhere else in the world and I would believe that." "... What about anywhere else in the universe?" "Huh?" She looked at him, sadness in those purple-blue eyes... But something else too. An idea sparking to life: "If you can really help me fix my ship... Come with me. Come back to Xandar with me..." "Mali... I can't just leave..." "WHY!? Everything in your head we could use on Xandar." "Maybe... Maybe one day..." He said it softly "But your planet... If it’s at war.... It needs YOU and until you win; and you will win it my supernova... Until Earth gets a good grip on things out there... You cannot stay. And I cannot go."

** …10 Years Later… Maliyah piloted the Milano very cautiously. She knew the sector of space; just not as well as she would have liked. Kree these days were still running havok. Maybe not too much around Xandar... But things were shaky at best, which is why she was piloting her tiny Milano though this, rather than her Nova Corps star ship. The planet that Keller’s "distress signal" was coming from looked small and harmless. But it was the other side of the galaxy. Keller, even on Earth’s best space day, was not reaching here any time soon.

It made her hesitate. She shouldn't trust it, but what choice did she have? It didn't mean that someone hadn't taken Jonathan here, although that was unlikely it was not impossible. And it wasn't like it was a signal to her ship... Or any communications device. Keller’s very DNA and feelings were sending a direct signal to her. And for nothing in this known universe would she ignore something like that. Entering the planet’s atmosphere she knew exactly why the feeling was of distress. It looked dead. Or at least incinerated. The earth was scorched and there wasn't a trace of greenery or life anywhere. Yet, the feeling persisted. Which meant whatever was giving off Keller’s signal was here. And was very much alive.

 She landed on about the clearest strip of land she could find that the Milano would fit into and took a deep breath. Whatever she was about to face would not be good. She was already suited up for Supernova... Hopefully she wouldn't have to use it. Exiting the Milano she kept her blaster holstered. She wouldn't fire unless fired upon and whoever did that would be making a big mistake.

Pillars of smoke rising from the debris made the perfect cover... She breathed in and out, closing her eyes she focused on what ‘Keller’ was feeling. It wasn't nice for her to feel it, either. She pinpointed a location in a matter of seconds and headed towards it. Only for her to start noticing the purple, everywhere. And it was blood.  She continued through the mess of debris, every so often a body or two would present itself. They're Skrulls. She realised. The bodies were Skrulls. She knitted her eyebrows together. Carol Danvers, who she had met a few times whilst traversing the galaxy, had told her nearly everything to help her piece together what had happened when they were on Earth. She had given them a home, and finished the war. Clearly someone was trying to start it up again... And if this was the planet that Carol had made their haven. The Skrulls were from Earth. Which meant one thing... From what Keller had confessed to her that could mean only one thing... And it was something she didn't even think possible.

 She sprinted to the signal on that notion alone; across the ground that kicked up with every step she took. What had the Kree done here!? Why was he still alive when so many others were not!?! She stopped. Suddenly tense. He was walking toward her. His stance was fighting and she could read those emotions a lot clearer now. Her race and its engineering had failed her. It was confusing Keller’s real DNA with simed DNA from years gone by. Hopefully that wasn't about to cost her her life. Upon recognising him, she took two steps back. She'd made a point of studying Skrulls as soon as Keller had mentioned them. Talos. And he was big news. Huge news. He was a General that ran a whole sector, he was a good leader. He'd simed her life partner. Maliyah held her hands up in an attempt to show she wasn't trouble, as far away from her weapon as possible... "I've come from Xandar. So... I'm not here to destroy you like everything else... Unless you don't care; in which case... You're much more of a threat to me..." He took a step forward, which made her concede another, he was studying her uniform carefully. The eight-point shining yellow star running from her chest down her abdomen, framed by a metallic light blue.  The three-point ‘V’ of the Nova Corps shimmering just behind it, glowing faintly every so often. The rest of the uniform navy. Except the gold stripes up her boots. She thought she should have worn her Nova Corps over-jacket; multicoloured rank ribbons and clearer Corp red star emblazoned sleeves. Too late now, though.

He straightened, seeming satisfied but tilted his head. “Who are you?” She tilted hers in turn; “You should know. The fact that you don’t means he did real good to keep me out of his thoughts…” Or any part of his life. Keller’s desk, his car, his pager, his wallet. If nothing held the slightest trace of her then she owed Jonathan her very life. God, she knew that already. He looked confused, as he rightly should. “My name is Maliyah. Quite a few years ago when you were on Earth you simed a Terran known as Jonathan Richard Keller. Unbeknownst to YOU at the time of doing so I had already formed a connection with his DNA. Now, apparently, because siming creates an exact DNA copy of his - I have got some kind of connection with you.” “…You’re Auron.” She was more than a little surprised that he knew that, it made her smile; “Correct.” “Keller… Fury’s boss? How is he and his beautiful blue eyes.” She raised an eyebrow to a phrase she didn’t expect; “…That’s the man. And he’s well… No thanks to you and his constant reoccurring nightmare…” Every so often Jonathan would still wake up in cold sweats with the word simed coming off his lips – Usually it was drink induced, but telling him to stop drinking was pointless. She smiled, but it faded as she looked around her “…So… About this distress that I felt from half way across the Galaxy and came to investigate because Jonathan should be nowhere NEAR this sector… Human’s still haven’t figured out their space travel, God bless ‘em…” “…Well. It’s pretty obvious isn’t it.” “Yeah… Your distress signal tells me one thing I am grateful for. You need help. It looks like a lot of it. And I am here to offer my services... First off, you need to tell me what happened.” “Why should I trust you.” “You have no reason to, and I have no reason to trust you either – In fact I have LESS reason to trust you considering Keller – But Fury trusts you, and so does Carol. So. Yeah, I trust you. Just put a little faith in me…” His eyes flicked back to the Star emblazoned on her uniform and he nodded to it; "If you are really from Xandar then you know what happened." She swept the landscape with her eyes again "Kree... WHY!? It's over, your wars are over..." "There are those in the outside that think they should just end it." "... Is this planet all that’s left!?" "No... Thank god. There are still some of us back home..." She turned again, not wanting to voice it but feeling like she should know everything; "Are you...?? Did they..." "Not everyone. A few, as a statement. An example. My family... They are..." He looked to the stars for a minute "I don't know where they will have taken them but for now they are alive..." She followed the trace of his eyes "I can track that... I'm sure I can track that." She turned back to him; "Obviously first things first. I can't leave you here." "Oh really." She tilted her head at the sarcasm he was displaying. It wasn’t unlike that of her older brother. She couldn’t help but smile, Perhaps she would have more affinity with him than just Keller… "One, you're alone. Two, whatever this connection to Keller you have is... It won't let me leave "Keller" here. So. You simed the right guy. I guess... " Maliyah half turned back to her ship; but kept her eyes on him. He knew the reason she was putting faith in him was the same reason she was still standing over there looking at him like any moment he might change. Or change form. It looked more like a stand off than a potential team-up. Because Jonathan Keller for him was just a Terran male that worked for S.H.I.E.L.D had all the access codes and clearances he needed and eventually got him to his family. For Maliyah, Talos had inadvertently intervened with something sacred. The very fabric of her race’s evolution. Her relationship with Keller now blurred into him. And without this travesty none of them would be any the wiser. "Does he know?" "Jonathan? No. Why would he? I'm the only one that feels anything... He knows all the intricacies of what I am. Whether he understands them...” She afforded explanation with a shrug "He’s human. After all. About the only race out there not involved in the rest of the universe. And integrating even one of them isn't easy... But you should know that." She gave a small, mysterious smile, “So, congratulations. Siming Keller had consequences that you and I are both stuck with.” Talos folded his arms; for all her talk of helping, he hadn’t seen anything that would actually help them out yet. He decided to test that one; “How do we even get out of here… They’ve destroyed all the technology we had. You are some kind of… Supernova. So…” “Supernova is just the name, Jonathan used it all the time it kinda stuck, And I didn’t get here via the Nova Force...” Yet again Talos surprised her with just how much he knew… She wondered if he’d ever been to Xandar… If he’d ever Simed someone from there. Now was not the time to ask the question. “Then how DID you get here?!” She looked back at her Milano, now at least partially visible through the dust clouds as the sun hit the shiny paintwork, then turned to him with a significant look; “…Are we going to save your family, or not?”

[fyu-ture]

fu’s got a lot of complicated, contradicting feelings regarding his parents ( like .. fucking obviously but listEN )--and overall, towards those feelings, he’s super annoyed at them .. bc . he feels like . it rly shouldn’t be this hard to figure out .

it’s just that - he tries to lay it out simply in (1) one thought , but every time, it snowballs into a huge messy web before he even realizes it -- sometimes it’s so overwhelming, especially when he talks about it with people and has to organize his thoughts out loud and on the fly that he just kinda ... shuts down? seizes up? bc it’s just . a sensory overload when it all kinda clumps together all at once

he feels a sort-of Yearning for being a part of a family again - but knows that that feeling is just kinda smth he conjured up in his head from (his loneliness that he doesnt even realize or wanna admit is there)--he knows he Doesn’t rmr hardly anything from when they were alive, since--1) he was a Baby 2) he was Brainwashed and everything was hazey Anyway, but . . he can’t help but . Wish? Hope? that it would be smth worth yearning for?

(that said, he also doesnt feel desire to--make his own family, like marry or have kids. this is part of that not-realizing he just feels lonely; that its not some desire for ‘family’ specifically. he just. kinda desires companionship! as sappy as that is. and thats why he cant figure it out bc--why would he ever feel smth so sappy!??? )

he also feels   like   contempt towards the fact that he was brainwashed, obviously, of course--

and he also -- fears the day that they, if they ever come back bc he knows it’d just be that; not the cutesy happy family idea he has in his head, and he knows that--which, in turn, makes him feel like an idiot because he can’t shake that desire for that reality

and even then -- he doesn’t hate his parents for literally brainwashing him because for him and for them that’s. that’s normal! brainwashing was just what towa did, she didn’t do it to him to be malicious or evil ; it was just . her modus operandi . while that’s not something most people would just accept , ever, he -- because he was born into it first and then came to know free will after, it just--twists it up as not being so bad?in his head

that being said he regards towa and mira in general and their mission to revive the demon realm with this sort of shrugging “ehhhhh?” because--man does he not care about that .. at all...like, shit, if THEY wanna do that, like, i mean , go off i guess, but--

but then he stops because, ok, no, maybe don’t just go off, bc that would make a lot of ppl pretty miserable and unhappy ( -- people he--finally might get to start calling his friends! ) but then that’s -- sappy --

some big part of him, that immortal side of him that knows all of this is just so temporary and , in the grand grand grand scheme of things, so pointless and unimportant (in the ‘so why worry?’ kinda way)-- that side of him shrugs it off, but then he knows, he knows, what other part of him knows that’s a terrible way to look at it for everyone elses sake?

its. a mess. hes a mess. imagine all of this jumbled thought process happening in the span of a . second . am i being too extra by saying thats a lot??i feel like thats a lot ????? 

[theolivewave]

Hey Y’all,

It’s that time of month again!! As I write this, the weather is absolutely lovely outside. It got me feeling real happy cause this has been just a long winter.  I’m glad I survived the winter without an seasonal depression bouts. Not saying I usually go through one but I do find myself  feeling just ehhhhh all winter cause I feel like I thrive in the summer.  So I’m grateful  we are on the cusp of SPRING!!

I did discover something about myself over the last couple of months that I have always been more reserved about. It’s an interesting thought I hope I can fully convey in this post. For a long time, people always told me I’m worth a lot, I deserve the best etc. etc. and to a degree I always knew that but believing it is another thing. I think I’ve always struggled with the idea of knowing my worth because I’ve always felt that you can become too prideful. I’ve learned there should be a balance between being humble and knowing what you deserve. Knowing your worth, you know what to spend your time & energy on and who to spend your time with. I think this all plays into a greater part that will feeds into you being a better person.  Knowing my worth as designer, at this point involves me to charge more for projects because of my skill set. That’s been the biggest realization I’ve had lately because I’ve been getting a lot of freelance work alongside my business partner and that is something I am facing in general with work. It’s okay to demand more. Also to demand more from the people around you. Not in a bossy, controlling way but definitely holding people accountable.

In the last couple of months, I’ve realized some cool things about my self that I carry. I also learned it’s okay to demand what you need and let it be known. I’ve learned I can’t passively reach my goals and expect them to happen but I have to take control and go after them. I can’t passively support someone if I don’t put in the effort to be there for that person. This is something that is on going, I’m not saying at all I’ve figured it out but I am on a solid path to be the best Cheyenne I can be.

This month playlist, I just wanted to dance. I wanted to put together something that has a groove for each and every song. It’s spring time! I’m happy.! I want a playlist that encapsulates that energy! I deserve it ( lol okay I’m done) But I hope you like this Playlist. I am falling love with the idea of making one each month. I get so much joy out it and its super dope that I get good feedback on the playlist and that you guys actually like it!!! I want to try something new in the spring but imma sit on that tea for a little bit till I can figure out how to actually make it a reality!! but in the meantime, ENJOY!

Keep Creating,

The Olive Wave

[itsadrizzit]

Fandom Snowflake Challenge: Day 4

Day 4

In your own space, create a fannish wishlist. No limits on size or type of fanwork; just tell us what you’d like to see. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so. And if you grant a wish, do the same thing!

Once more I'm a day late to the party, but I'm hoping I can manage two posts today and get caught up. In this case, the biggest item on my wishlist has been stated much more eloquently by others and there has been much discourse around it in the past day since everyone else posted, so I will just link you to some conversations happening here and here before I add my thoughts since I rather feel like the person who showed up fifteen minutes late to the meeting and burst in with my brilliant idea that everyone has already finished discussing. I keep telling myself someday I'll be relevant. I keep being wrong. That done, here is my wishlist in no particular order. It gets a bit self-indulgent and existential in parts, as is the way of any wishlist I manage to throw together:

Transformative Works Statements

Time

Curated Rec Lists

More podficcers in my fandoms

1. Transformative Works Statements This is the thing that others have said much better than I, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't still include them, since there are still those out there who don't even know that Transformative Works Statements are something that exists, let alone their utility. Essentially, these statements express your intentions for what people can/cannot do with you work. They're something that makes things easier for those creating transformative or derivative works of your work since you express your preferences up front, which saves podficcers or artists or translators or remixers or vidders or whatever the time and energy of contacting you to ask permission to create their art based on your art AND it saves you (should you choose) having to answer all those asks. Many podficcers, myself included, won't even consider making a podfic unless the author has blanket permission to do so, and in my case I generally won't even read a fic unless the author has blanket permission. I realise this is a bit of a hardline and as far as I know I may be the only one with this stance. It's not that I don't think that other fics aren't lovely or captivating or monumentally worth reading...it's that I have a VERY limited time to read fic (see #2 below) and I don't want to run the risk of reading something, falling in love with it to the point that I want to podfic it, and then have to go through the process of asking permission and possibly not hearing back. I get really excited to create things and I 100% understand that authors don't owe me anything, but I want to know that if I fall in love with a fic I can podfic it and the best way for me to do that is limit myself to things that give me permission to do so up front. I have a lot of anxiety and awkwardness around asking authors permissions and this is a way I manage both my time and my self-care. I come off as really blunt here, I realise. I'm not. I'm also an author. I respect the right of refusal. I just also exercise my own right of refusal to read. So. Transformative Works statements. They can be yes. they can be no, they can be maybe. The whole point is for you to express your intentions so that people know. Put it in your AO3 profile. Put it on your Tumblr page. Put it on your DW. Put it wherever your fic is posted. If you give a "maybe, please ask" that's fine, but then give a place where it will be convenient for people to ask AND where you will somewhat regularly check the messages. Often, podficcers are on a deadline for fests/gifts/challenges and we spend a lot of time playing the "is the author just busy or have they left fandom or are they blatantly ignoring my ask" game, which none of us wants to play, trust me. I want to re-emphasise. IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO. People have their reasons for not wanting derivative works created and that's fine. You don't owe those reasons to anyone. It's better to (respectfully) say "Sorry, but please don't make transformative works based on my work." than to say nothing. Note: I say "respectfully". I mean, your profile and your statement are your own, so do whatever you need, but don't expect podficcers and other artists not to get a bit upset at you if you say "Podfic is awful and doesn't count as an art form and I hate it so please don't do it because it's gross." 2.TIME Yes, okay. We all want time. I get that. But! Lately as I become more involved in fandom, I'm noticing that I don't have time for all of: consume canon/source material, create fanworks, participate in reading/consuming others' fanworks, comment on others' fanworks and respond to the comments on your own fanworks. Honestly, it's two full-time jobs for me somehow and I honestly don't know how most of you manage it. I can MAYBE do two out of those things, but three just has me spending every waking moment that I'm not off doing my actual job just trying to keep my head above water in fandom, and that is not the fandom experience I want. Sadly, consuming others' work and commenting/responding to comments is the thing that falls by the wayside more often than not, which has the effect of making me feel rude and selfish and also slightly disconnected from fandom, neither of which is what I want. So I need to find time or a balance or a better system or...SOMETHING. Which brings me to #3. 3. Someone to make me curated fic/podfic/fanwork rec lists I told you we were getting a bit self-serving. So here's the thing. I would LOVE to read more fanfic. I would. For one thing, it's hard to podfic if you haven't actually *read* any fic, since you haven't found anything to record. For another, I have all these fandoms that I say "I am in this fandom" and LOVE the canon, but when it comes to actual fannish spaces I'm like ehhhhh I haven't actually read a single fic in that fandom. Again, this makes me feel a bit disconnected since I feel like I can't always fully participate. For another, it makes me feel a bit selfish because I have friends in those fandoms and I want to read their work, but I just...don't. And they are highly supportive of me and my work and then I'm over here like "thanks for loving my content, I can't be bothered with yours!" This will come off.........poorly, I think, but I'm nothing if not blunt and honest and I never learned how to temper my answers with niceties the way many other more eloquent people have, but...I really don't have time to read anything but the best fic. It's true. I mean, the idea of taking the time and effort to wade through things I don't like is just...I'd rather just not read anything. I acknowledge that this is me being precious because FANDOM IS FREE and no one owes me anything, but it's the way things are. Partly, this is why I choose podfic over fic most of the time. 1. because I can listen to it all day while working or commuting or walking so I can actually consume it in spaces where I can't consume fic. 2. It's usually, at its heart, a fic rec. Someone else in this fandom has taken the time to read this story and loved it so much that they wanted to read it over and over again and then listen to it over and over again as they edit. Safe to assume, it's probably pretty good fic. 3. I can put it on in the background so if it's not the best work, eh, I can shift my focus elsewhere. That said, I'm usually pretty conscious to leave feedback for the fic author if I enjoyed their story via the podfic. I think that's important. I can compliment the podficcer on their reading, but if the story itself moved me, it's important to also tell the author that, since they are the ones that crafted the narrative. So, what I want, is some way to easily access a compiled lists of "If you read no other fic in this fandom, I recommend you read these". And then I will read them. Because sometimes I look for fic I want to read and it takes me an entire evening and I have 50 AO3 tabs open and I just look at it in despair like...fuck it...and close the whole situation, thereby negating all the work of my evening, and that makes me sad because I want to read fic. 4. More podfic in my fandoms Grasping at straws here. I exist mostly in small fandoms and small spaces within those fandoms and even fewer podficcers hanging out in those fandoms and just...it's not that I *mind* creating my own fanworks, it's just SO LOVELY to think that there are fandoms where you can listen to OTHER PEOPLE read you stories instead of just the sound of your own voice. Add to this my point above that in many cases podfic is the way I consume fic/participate in fandom and it's just...when you're the only one in your space making the podfics you then have to do all the legwork of reading the fic yourself and it takes more time and we're back in this circle of FANDOM IS EXHAUSTING. So....those are my thoughts. I understand that they are not necessarily nice and that they are probably coming off as harsh. That's just sort of...the way I communicate, for better or worse. I wish I had the art of putting things delicately, but it's not in my culture, sadly. I'm happy to engage (respectfully) on any of this because I assure you that I'm well-meaning and probably just not coming off as well as I want to. Thanks for reading this far if you've made it.

[buttdawg]

New Beginning in Nashville: A Buttdawg Special Report

NJPW is in the middle of a U.S. tour, and it turned out that they were doing a show pretty close to where I live, right when I had scheduled some time off, so I figured “what the hell?” and bought a ticket.    Then I finally saw the lineup for the show and I was like “ehhhhh...”  But then it turned out to be really great!  

I guess two things got me on board with this show.    First, Wrestle Kingdom 14 hype was in full swing when I bought the ticket, so I wanted More of That.    Second, I watched a bunch of matches from the World Tag League a few months ago, and a big chunk of those shows were set in smaller, cozier venues with no English commentary.    Some of them didn’t even have Japanese commentary, and I’m pretty sure those were the ones where I could see basketball backboards in the background.    One was in Osaka-jo Hall, and I thought that was a big arena, but it turned out the show was in the “sub arena”, which sounds awesome.    So I imagined what it might be like to go to a show like that, and then I realized they’re doing them in America this month.  

This was in the War Memorial Auditorium, which I think holds like 2,000 people.    Low four digits, definitely.    Pretty sure the WWF used to run house shows here, because every time I think the words “War Memorial Auditorium” I hear it in Howard Finkel’s voice.  On the way down, I listened to this piece by Jim Valley about how the WWE is no longer turning a profit on their live events, for the first time ever.    He blames guys like Seth Rollins who complain about their fans instead of enticing them to buy tickets.   Would toay’s WWE even run a house show in a venue this small?   All I know is the WMA had 560 in attendance, and everyone seemed pretty happy to be there.   There’s a market for wrestling tickets.    New Japan didn’t fly all these guys out to Tennessee to break even.  

Anyway, I wasn’t too jazzed about the card, and for most of January I was starting to wonder if I’d let my enthusiasm get the better of me. but once I found the place and got my bearings, I was very pleased.  The WMA looks even smaller in person than it does on the website.    Imagine a high school gym with a stage and a balcony.   You walk into the theater and the ring is right in front of you.   The merch stand is to your right.    I don’t think there’s a bad seat in the house, unless you’re sitting behind a really tall guy or something.  

As for the card, the audience made it feel special.  They had this big monitor on the stage, and they opened with a video package about the tour, and everyone popped when they heard the announcer, even though he’s speaking Japanese.    He’s the guy you hear at the start of every show thought, so hearing his voice just makes the whole thing feel important.  

I wasn’t really prepared for that, I guess.  There were a lot of kids there, and I guess I was surprised that so many people from so many demographics would be this familiar with the product.   I’ve only been watching New Japan for about seven months, so the filthiest casual was probably me.    

Match 1: Alex Zayne & Misterioso d. Alex Coughlin & Ren Narita (9:46)

I have no idea who most of these guys are.    I’ve probably seen Coughlin before, but I spent the whole match thinking he was Karl Fredericks.    The crowd recognized Zayne and Misterioso, though, because they were behind those guys the whole match.     I started to think Zayne had family in the crowd, and he’s from Lexington, Kentucky, so it’s not impossible. 

Match 2: YOSHI-HASHI d. Karl Fredericks (8:48)

This was when the real Karl Fredericks came out.    The monitor on the stage displays the names of the participants throughout the match, but I couldn’t see it very well because of the glare from the lighting.   Crowd was behind Karl all the way, I guess because he’s been a Young Lion long enough that he’s due to start winning matches one of these days, but not tonight.   I mean, Yoshi’s in CHAOS, so he ought to be a face, right?  

Match 3: Colt Cabana & Toru Yano d. Clark Conners & TJP (13:22)

I’m not a huge fan of Colt and Yano, but they were the first guys I’d consider ““real”““ stars to come out.   TJP won the Cruiserweight Classic in WWE, but I had to keep reminding myself of that while the match went on.  

The comedy wrestling works a lot better live.   My favorite bit was when Colt brazenly stuck his hands in the air and challenged Conners to a test of strength spot.   “TEST OF STRENGTH” he said loud enough for everyone to hear him.    Then as soon as they got locked up Colt looked over his shoulder and said “Oh my God, he’s really strong!”

This was the only match I tried to take pictures for, because I wanted to capture Yano untying the turnbuckle pad.    I also managed to get this pic, of Young Lions putting it back together after the match was over.

Seriously, it takes like two guys to fix those things.   Yano’s a real jerk.  

Anyway, during this match, there was a kid further back in the balcony who was really rooting for TJP and Conners.    As the show continued, it became clear that this kid was in the tank for all the heels.   It took me a while to catch on to this, because sometimes I can’t tell if Yano’s a face or a hell.    But no, this kid was rooting for all the heels.    Not like in a smarky “the faces are jerks!” kind of way, either.   It’s like this kid just watched enough matches to objectively decide that guys like Lance Archer rules and Colt Cabana’s kind of a dick.    Same, kid.   Same.  

So during the match Yano and Colt are making Conners look like a real geek, to the point where it’s practically a face-in-peril situation (again, are we sure Yano and Colt aren’t evil?).    So this kid’s begging Conners to make the hot tag to TJP.   Then the other team makes a tag, and the kid goes “Not you!”   Priceless. 

Match 4: Jeff Cobb d. Satoshi Kojima (10:02)

This match kind of represents my flip-flopping towards the card.   They’re doing a tournament in the U.S., and they bring the worst two guys in CHAOS, nobody from LIJ, the only champions they booked were the shithole tag champions and they’re not even defending the belts... but they got Jeff Cobb, by gum.    It just felt very underwhelming, but once he came out, and I’m sitting there like fifty feet away from him, I’m like “Yeah, Jeff Cobb’s a cool guy.   This is great.”    Watching wrestling on TV has a way of raising your expectations to unrealistic levels, I guess.    Once you’re sitting there watching these guys in person, the equation changes.   

I wasn’t super-thrilled to see Cobb facing Kojima, since they had no issue, and Kojima jobbed all the way through the World Tag League, but by this point in the show I was just pleased to get to see Jeff Cobb strut his stuff.   This was how American wrestling used to work in the 80′s and 90′s, and it still does, I just had to get re-accustomed to it.   Everyone was hot for Kojima, either because he’s a legend or because he was wearing hot-orange ring gear to pander to the UT fans in the audience.   Well I went to UK so fuck you, Kojima, you deserved to lose to Cobb.   

And the match was very competitive, to the point where Cobb was all exhausted at the end, and Kojima went over to shake his hand after it was over, so a feel-good moment for the audience.   Nice.

Match 5: Lance Archer d. Yuji Nagata (11:16)

Never mind that shit, everybody dies!   Lance comes out and he was basically my favorite guy on this card.   Crowd was pretty into Lance too, so he takes the mic and says “Nashville, Tennessee!   Who wants a T-shirt!?”    crowd gets all excited, and then he just throws it.... onto the mat, and he goes “Nope!” and everyone is pissed!   Except me, Lance Archer fucking rules.  Also, Roots-for-Heels Kid probably didn’t mind, but we didn’t hear from that kid until the middle of the match, when Lance was basically mugging Blue Justice.     I salute Yuji Nagata for wearing Wildcat blue in a sea of orange bullshit, but as they say, everybody dies.

The crowd haaaates Lance, and he just milks it for all it’s worth.   The fans can’t help Yuji--his fate is sealed--so they make fun of Lance’s fashion sense.   They mock the red braid at the end of his mohawk, they make fun of his back tattoo, calling it a “tramp stamp”, and so on.    Lance just yells back at them.   “Shut up!” “Booooooooooo.”   Lance is the fucking man.   Even the ref was afraid of him, which makes Nagata look like a million bucks for even putting up a fight.      I wanted more Suzuki-gun guys at this show, but honestly, one was plenty.    Lance wins with the EBD claw, and that’s it.   

Match 6: Hiroshi Tanahashi d. Yujiro Takahashi (10:38)

Yujiro doesn’t have Pieter with him, although no one seems concerned by this.  From what I can tell, they only bring out Pieter when Yujiro is booked for bigger venues.   That’s probably got more to do with Pieter’s contract than anything else, but I like to think all these smaller towns in Japan take one look at Bullet Club and go “Look, you’re not doing that stripper crap in our building.”  

Big response for Tanahashi.    They did the hockey chant for him and everything “Ta-na-ha-shi (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)”.   Nothing particularly notable about the match, but Hiroshi went around ringside hugging and taking photos with fans at ringside.  He’s a real class act. 

Match 7: Rocky Romero, David Finlay, & Juice Robinson d. Bullet Club (Chase Owens, Tanga Loa & Tama Tonga) (13:52)

This was originally supposed to be an eight-man tag with Kota Ibushi on the face team and Jado on the Bullet Club side.   Turns out Kota came down with the flu, so they just scaled it back to a six-man.   I also read that Karl Fredericks got injured, so he’s off the tour too.   I guess that happened on this show, because he seemed fine Sunday night, and the announcement came out before the show on the 27th started.

Anyway, now I see the value in New Japan’s strategy of using multi-man tag matches for tours like these.   If someone has to pull out, they just shuffle around partners or scale back eight-mans to six-mans, and so on.   I guess if things really got bad, they could just do seven singles matches, so as long as they have fourteen healthy performers, they can manage.  

Roots-for-Heels Kid was in full-effect here.   Again, not really sure if the kid’s Bullet Club 4-life, or just hates Juice Robinson as much as I do, or maybe the kid takes pity on Chase Owens.   But that kid really wanted Bullet Club to win.   Too bad it wasn’t in the cards.

One moment that stuck out to me was when the faces were doing pretty well, and enough stuff was going on that I didn’t notice Jado whacking someone with the kendo stick until it had already happened.    They do that bit in every G.O.D. match.   Face is doing okay, he runs the ropes, and then whack, Jado hits him right as he bounces off the ropes near the G.O.D. corner.   I’ve watched enough Guerrilas of Destiny matches by now that it’s become predictable, even formulaic, but this time, I never saw it coming.   I think that’s because on video, they’ve got the camera man anticipating that spot.    The camera angles of the guy running the ropes practically warns you what’s about to happen.    When you see it live, you have to be your own cameraman, and figure out which parts of the ring to watch.   I was in the second row of the balcony, with a great view of the ring, but not of Jado.    I could see him, but not his lower body, to give you an idea.    By contrast, there were fans on the floor who were directly behind him the whole match, so they could see every move he made.   So it’s a completely different experience depending on where your seat is.   And that’s why they do the kendo stick spot in every match.

Anyway, big chunks of the match were brawls, and eventually FinnJuice and G.O.D. fought their way out of the theater, so it came down to Rocky and Chase wrapping up the match by themselves.   I wasn’t sure what to make of Rocky Romero wrestling, since I’ve only ever seen him doing commentary, or managing Roppongi 3K.    But it turns out he’s really good, so now I don’t understand why they keep him stuck behind a desk all the time.  Maybe he’s semi-retired or something?  

After the match, Rocky cuts the end-of-show promo, and explains that Kota couldn’t be here, so now it’s going to be Chase Owens vs. Rocky Romero in the Atlanta show.    Chase takes the mic and says “Maybe I don’t want to wait until Atlanta?   Who wants to see me and Rocky go here, tonight!”    The crowd is up for it, and then he shouts “Then buy another ticket!” and leaves in a huff.   Classic, total classic.   Rocky thanks everyone for supporting NJPW, the best wrestling in the world, and the crowd goes home happy. 

So yeah, good show all around, and they even had the whole thing done in two hours.    I had no idea what to expect, but if I’d known they would be finished by 7pm I might have just driven home that night instead of getting a hotel.    Well, I’ll keep that in mind for next year.

[rysonbran]

Asks Challenge: Late night 🌙 Tea ☕️ and Spring Awakening 🌸

Spring Awakening Lyrics ask meme

Mama who bore me- What’s your relationship with your parents like?

I have a gr8 relationship with my parents, they’re divorced so I do most general stuff with my mom and then most cooking stuff I’ll do with my dad because we’re both food nerds

No sleep in Heaven- Are you currently worried about something?

nah

Thought is suspect- Do you have any unpopular opinions?

I mean not that I know of?

All will know- what are your plans for the future?

Idk man whatever happens happens

Her silver call- What gives you hope?

The future

The bitch of living- What do you dislike most about your life?

Ummmm highschool lmao

This mess of a life- Do you find it important to feel in control?

Fuck yeah but it doesn’t always happen

It’s so where I live- Do you or your family have any unique traditions?

We do family dinners every Sunday and Christmas competitions every year

To shore- What’s your “happy place”?

At home with my doge and a blanket and some tea

All is forgiven- Is there anything you can’t forgive yourself for?

I mean my anxiety says yes but

Just too unreal- Did you ever get in a situation that felt too good to be true??

Not that I can remember

Grasping at pearls- Do you tend to jump to conclusions too quickly? 

yessssss oh my god

I don’t scream- Are you more likely to protest something that you don’t agree with, or keep it to yourself?

Protest lmao I’m stubborn

Just like she never saw me- Have you ever felt like your problems were getting ignored?

Yeahhh

Well, fine- do you often lie? what do you typically lie about?

I have a lot of little white lies lmao

You tell your soul - What do you do feel better when you’re down?

Text my best friend and cry into food lmao

Flip on a switch- What never fails to brighten up your day?

My doge!

The whispers of fear- What’s your biggest fear?

Spiders, the death of everyone I know, my dog dying, morbid stuff lmao

I believe- What is an important belief of yours?

My belief in equality probably

Peace and joy be with them - What’s the best thing someone said to you?

Probably that I’m pretty

the season for dreaming - What’s your dream?

To be able to travel the world and see stuff

This brave new you that you are - What’s something that changed for the better about you?

I don’t think anything’s really changed but I’ve been attempting to be more open, not that it’s worked

Floating high and blue- What would you consider to be the ideal life for you?

Living somewhere other than the states, working a creative job with intelligent people and having a dog

Beneath the rising moon- What’s your favourite thing about night time?

It’s quiet

Through the open books on the grass- What’s your favourite pastime?

Reading or drawing or being on this blue hellscape

Winter wind sings and it cries- Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist?

hahahaha pessimist  All things he never did- What’s something you always wanted to do, and didn’t (or didn’t yet)?

I’ve always wanted to go to London, which I did, and not I want to go to Ireland so that I guess

It whistles through the ghosts still left behind- What’s a memory you often think about?

The time I wasn’t allowed to wear a bowtie with a uniform but I didn’t fight it

There’s a moment you know you’re fucked- What was your biggest fuck up?

I made someone faceplant at work lmao

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah - What’s something stupid you remember you or some one else saying?

Something about D.C. being in Virginia

Travel the world within my lips- Ahat was your first kiss like?

Cramped and hot- temperature wise but good

You’re gonna be wounded - Did you ever do something risky that ended up being worth it?

Ummm no I’m not a risk taker lmao

So let that be my story- What’s the biggest lie you ever told?

That I was going to hang out with friends but instead drove 45 minutes away

Something beautiful, a new chance- What are you looking forward to?

Currently? Dinner lmao

You’ve left them far behind- What’s something you decided to leave in the past?

Idk man

And I’ll see their thoughts are known- What are some ideas you feel are important to spread?

Equality, comprehensive sex ed, kindness

The butterfly sings - What makes you feel free?

Nature despite the fact that I hate bugs

Tea ask meme

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

Peachy sunsets

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

Sugar cones

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?

No but I love my mom’s cowl neck infinity scarf it’s so soft

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?

Like half a goddamn hour lmao

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

Macarons, I’ve only had them once and I tried making them and I failed

6: What does your umbrella look like?

It has crowns all over it from the tower of london

7: Do you listen to ASMR?

No

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?

Rain storms

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love? 

Little acts of kindness that happen in public, like someone paying for someone else’s coffee or something

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

Blue and mint green, pastels, pink and orange

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?

Wobbly lines

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

Both

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?

Yeas pumpkin spice

14: Have you ever rode a horse?

Yesss multiple times it’s fun until you get a tick

15: Do you have glasses? 

Yeah but I wear contacts most of the time

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?

Sign language or French

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

I love spring, probably like may

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

I have a thick pair of wool socks I got from a gun show and I love them

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie

Oh my god uhhhh moana?

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?

UHHHHHH

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

Gummies or popcorn

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

Best in Show

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

YEAS

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?

I like succulents

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)

Nah man it’s art I like all art

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers? 

Kiss them probably

27: Do you like nicknames? 

Depends on the nickname

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?

Yeas

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

Yeas

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?) 

My 11th doctor costume was lit, I want to cosplay newt Scamander

31:  Are you a fashionable person? 

I like to think I am

32: Do you like watching holiday movies? 

Yeaaasss

33:  Cookies or brownies?

Brownies

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?

Yes lmao

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing? 

Sometimes

36: Do you like cobblestone streets? 

Yes they’re adorable

37:  How often do you doodle? 

A lot

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?

Idk at least 6 months ago

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

I have a mannequin head in my room lmao

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?

I pick at my nails

41: Any birthmarks?

Nah

42: Thoughts on freckles?

Love em

43: First video game you ever played?

Probably mariokart on the DS Lite

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

Idk

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?

Yes lmao

46: Thoughts on spring? 

I love it

47: Ideal temperature outside?

Like 65 or 70 where it’s warm but not hot… sweater weather

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

Partly cloudy but cloudy makes for the best lighting

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?

I don’t hear them but I see them, i live like 30 mins away from an airport

50: Do you enjoy windy days?

Ehhhhh

Late night ask meme

cosmos: what’s one thing you wish you could say to someone you are no longer friends with? 

 Bye bitch lmaogalaxies: what are three things you want to do before you die?Travel the world, meet brendon urie, and perform with niall horan or ed sheeran lmao 

 waxing: what is your proudest accomplishment?

 I got pictures accepted into a local arts fiesta

 waning: what is your biggest regret? 

 I probably have a lot but I can’t remember them atm 

 full moon: what type of person do you hope to be?

 A humble famous person

 contemplation: if you could wake up one morning and everything in your life was perfect, what would that look like? 

 No deadlines, I’d have a doge and a big house and a huge kitchen somewhere European 

 night light: who/what makes you feel safe?My doge

 ponder: what do you want to do with your life? 

 Something great, I’d like to be able to help people

 sunset: who is someone you thought would be in your life forever, but you no longer talk to? 

 My best friend from elementary school 

 midnight: are you a different person late at night than in the early morning?

 Early morning do not speak to me lmao late at night I’m more chill

 Candle light: are you an indecisive person? 

 Yes oh my god lmao

 reflection: have you ever changed something you liked about yourself to satisfy someone else?

 I’d hope not

 sweet dreams: are you happy?

 Are you bo burnham? I mean for the most part 

 nightmare: what are you most afraid of? 

 See the one above 

 constellations: who is someone you could talk to for hours and never stop?

 My best friend probably 

 reminder: who is someone you will never forget? 

 My sister’s dog Corona who passed away last year 

 11-11: what’s something you want, but feel like you will never have?

I don’t feel like I’ll be completely satisfied with my life ever, which isn’t completely bad but at the same time it is.

shooting star: who is someone you trust to help you make the right decisions?

My best friend or my fam I love my fam

earth: where do you feel most at home?

.... my home...

soothe: what’s one thing that always makes you feel better when you’re upset?

My doge! 

slumber: what’s one thing that helps you fall asleep when it feels impossible?

I have this silky pajama shirt thing I sleep with, so probably that or like the little stuffed giraffe I got as an early christmas gift

[samanthasroberts]

The Side Hustle Is Real: 19 Real Ways People Make Money Outside of Their Jobs

For many people in today’s economy, having one job isn’t enough.

It’s the sad state of the world today, but some people have come up with pretty creative ways to make money outside of work.

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We call that the side hustle.

And while some romanticize the idea of the side hustle, it’s not the best that we have to resort to it. Maybe you’re looking to make a little dough, or maybe you’re just curious. Either way, here are the ways 19 different people make some extra cash.

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The Human Science Experiment

via: Shutterstock

I’m poor but I participate in clinical studies for the NIH as a healthy volunteer. Pay is pretty decent ($150-$250) per session, and since I’m too poor to afford health insurance it comes with the added benefit of providing me with free physicals and STD testing. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me and for many of the studies you only need a functioning human body to qualify.

–papigrande

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The Mystery Shopper

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Mystery diner/evaluator for upscale restaurants. I saw this on one of these threads a couple years back and it became one of my favorite things.

Doesn’t pay super well ($15 per gig) but I get reimbursed for mine and my guest’s meals + drinks. Just did a mystery shop at a really fancy steakhouse and spent about $200 on food and drinks. I have to write a full-on essay afterward scrutinizing every detail but it’s totally worth. I love fancy food and I’m a pretty fast writer. –Malchicky

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The House Sitter

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Being a 22-year-old that doesn’t have much time for anything other than school and work, I house sit for people while they’re out of town.

You just have to go home to someone else’s house for awhile, and for me, I love it. I live in a tiny apartment and staying at an actual house with a full sized kitchen is like a vacation that I get paid for. –SadHurry

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The Nude Model

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I moonlight as a nude model for the local life drawing class. I originally freelanced for the local college, but since I’m currently taking one of the art programs, ehhhhh. …..The only big requirement is you have to be okay being naked in a room full of strangers.

And usually, you’re the only one. The nice thing about this is A0, you’re not expected to be a perfect specimen of the species, a good artist will want a variety of body types for reference. Plus it puts the whole “having a nightmare about being naked at work” in a whole new light –Blue_Moon_Rabbit

The next one is a pretty good gig…

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The Dog Walker

via: Shutterstock

Here in Spain, dog walking. I just moved here and miss my dog dearly(staying with parents for next 8 months while I go to school), so I randomly messaged a dog walking FB page. Told them I would love to walk dogs for them once in a while.

Met with the lady who started the company and she said 100% I can. I’m not under contract or anything, but whenever she is overwhelmed with dogs, she calls me. I take them for a walk for a couple hours and play with them, and she pays me 25 euros(she charges the customer 30 and keeps 5 as her commission). Honestly, I would have done it for free but the extra money is cool for beer and food funds.

I walk and play with a dog for a couple hours 3-4 times a week and make 80-100 euros for it. It helps me cope with missing my dog, and playing with dogs is just f**king awesome on its own. Just msg some dog walking company on FB or whatever, and I’m sure they could use extra help. –Yoinkie2013

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The Disney Shopper

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My sister lives near Disneyland and has a season pass. She takes peoples orders for exclusive shit from the park and she goes there and picks it all up and uses that time to get her steps in for the day walking around and also making money getting stuff for people and then sells/ships it to them.

people will pay a lot of money for the Disney shit that you can only get in the park… now this is obviously not possible for everyone but build on this idea. If you live in an area with baller ass thrift stores or good garage sales buy some shit and flip it online –savvyxxi

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The eBay Reseller

via: Shutterstock

I’ve sold stuff on eBay…. whether it was things lying around the house to actually going to flea markets and finding stuff for sale.

Found an N64 with 10 games for 5 dollars. Sold 1 of the games for $27 dollars alone. –atticuslodius

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The Yard Sale Ninja

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I’m a 23-year-old dude and I love going to yard sales and buying things then reselling them. The trick is to just buy things that interest you and slowly branch out to learn what certain things sell for. –amcge122

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The Computer Repair Man

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Computer repair. You’ll be surprised how bad people are with these things and how much they are willing to spend to get their s**t fixed. –smartass09

The next idea isn’t half bad…

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The House Painter

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I paint. It’s an incredibly dull thing that people hate doing. It’s not hard. A steady hand and decent angled brush for cutting and your pretty much good to go. I do other handyman things if needed except drywall. I do not have the talent for it. –PM-ME-XBOX-LIVE-GOLD

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The YouTubers

My wife and I made some cute dog videos on YouTube. The licenses for some of them were bought. In total, we made about $2,500 from companies wanted to share the videos on their own sites. –AnotherDrunkCanadian

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The Micro Tasker

via: Shutterstock

Amazon Micro Tasks is also a good bit of passive income. It’s basically a marketplace for small jobs that require human intelligence. Tasks can include, identifying objects in a photo or video, performing data de-duplication, transcribing audio recordings or researching data details. –Decent_Sauce

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The Referee

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If you have a thick skin, referee or umpire rec sports. Games are always outside of normal business hours since the players work too. I used to do soccer refereeing. I figured I was being paid to exercise (and be yelled at). –whatIreallythink4

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The Pot Brownie Baker

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I sell pot brownies. Pretty simple and discreet and I can make 500-600$ a month with the cost subtracted –ChirurigalDrug

The next one isn’t as, well, illegal in most places…

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The “Whatever” Gig

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Not me but I met a girl who charges $30 an hour for whatever.

She’ll take your car to get the oil changed, she’ll pick you up groceries, she’ll go to your house to sign for a delivery or meet the HVAC guy, etc. –elmiller2

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The Tutor

via: Shutterstock

tutor children in something you are good at. Right now I tutor elementary kids in chess get paid around 80 dollars an hour. It helps with college costs and the flexibility in hours makes it a nice part-time gig.

Another way is mining cryptocurrencies. I have made a nice amount of money just using my gaming laptop and desktop. It does increase your electricity bill but I have come out ahead like 300 dollars in the last 3 months. –loli333

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The Chicken Coop Builder

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This is somewhat late and more relevant to my area (Texas) but my coworker and I build chicken coops, garden beds, etc. Usually out of scrap wood and it brings enough beer money for a fun weekend project –BohemianJack

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The Artist

via: Shutterstock

Sell your own artwork on Etsy. Seriously, anyone can do it. I’m a hobby painter and have been selling 1-2 paintings a week for a few years now. Find what people love and capitalize on it.

–zoeyaneliz

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The Focus Group Member

via: Shutterstock

Focus groups. I’ve made over $1k in the past month alone from signing up for focus groups and user testing/usability interviews. –thatonespicegirl

Share this with someone who could use some ideas for a side gig!

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/the-side-hustle-is-real-19-real-ways-people-make-money-outside-of-their-jobs/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/03/23/the-side-hustle-is-real-19-real-ways-people-make-money-outside-of-their-jobs/

[partygetsmewetttttter]

Questions 1-85 🤷🏽‍♂️ if you're down lol

Faaaacccckkk okok lol

1. Are looks important in a relationship?Tbh kind of2. Are relationships ever worth it?Yeah you just have to wait for the right one to come uk3. Are you a virgin?No sometimes I still wish I was tho like I wish I would have waited until I was married like how I planned to lol i wanted to lose it in a special way but it didn't happen4. Are you in a relationship?Hellll naaaaa5. Are you in love?No6. Are you single this year?Yeah and next yr too and the yr after that7. Can you commit to one person?Yes I can. Rn I can flirt w the whole world but I swear once I'm in a relationship I cut everyone off and keep you happy even if I can't keep myself happy and it sucks cus that's how I get taken advantage of 8. Describe your crushI don't like anyone rn 9. Describe your perfect mateTaller than me, kind of gordito, always talking, always giving me attention, down to stay in on a Friday night and watch movies w cudddles, able to smoke a fat bluhnnnnt w me, funny, mean to everyone but only nice to me, enjoys to fight w me like being able to roast me so I can roast back I don't want to pussy ass bihhhh, able to handle me cus there's days I have an attitude I love to talk shit lmaooo, respects me, treats me good, buys me food, likes hickeys, opens the door for me jus so he can smack my ass hehe, grand my ass 25/7, is a lil freak in the sheets JUST 4 ME like if we can't bust a quick upstairs while th fam is downstairs u ain't for me, and one who loves me ((((:10. Do you believe in love at first sight?No it's just lust 11. Do you ever want to get married?Yes. Nothing beats waking up to the love of ur life every morning and sleeping every night, being able to kick him while u sleeping and eating all his food that he said not to eat and fighting bcus he eats my Greek yogurt after he specifically said he didn't like it or fighting over who gets to sleep in the side of the wall and being able to jog all the cobijas hehe and being able to travel w him 12. Do you forgive betrayal?It depends tbh. I feel like some people deserve second chances bcus if you know they have good intentions and didn't mean to fuck up then give it a second try cus everyone makes mistakes you just have to learn from them uk 13. Do you get jealous easily?Already answered this one14. Do you have a crush on any one?No15. Do you have any piercings?I have double piercings on each ear, and my belly button 16. Do you have any tattoos?No I want one tho )))):17. Do you like kissing in public?Fasaack yessss like grab my face and show these nigguhs u own me hehe 20. Do you shower every day?Yeah right before I go to sleep bcus I just lay there naked lol 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?No lololol22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Highly doubt it23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Yesssss already did 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?Nah I'll be too busy working on my masters 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?Kind of cus a big getting lonely asf ya feel26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Yes but he lied lmaoooo he broke up w me cus I went to college 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?Not that I remember 28. Have you ever been cheated on?Yaaaaa29. Have you ever cheated on someone?Nope30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?Tiddy implants and liposuction 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?Duh lmao u didn't have a childhood if u didn't play some t-pain and cried lol 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?What does that mean lol 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?Yeah 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?No35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Oh yeahhhhhh lol older guys know what they doinnnnnnnnngggggggg omg 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?Yes37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yes 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Yes39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Yes40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?Yes41. Have you had sex so far this year?No )))):42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?Already answered 43. How long was your longest relationship?1 yr 3 months 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?Only 2 serious relationships 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?46. How many times did you have sex last year?Uhhhmmmmm idk like 247. How old are you?1948. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?Que le vaya bonito y que chingue su madre todo lo que no sirva hahaha 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?Their hands and laugh and cuddling abilities 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?Ehhhhh i think I would lol I miss him at times and all the live we shared 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?My dad52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?Yeah cus they weren't serious about me so why even keep trying 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?Yeah probly lol 54. Is there someone you will never forget?Yeppppp55. Share a relationship story.Too lazy to type 56. State 8 facts about your bodyIm fat. My left thumb is fatter than my right thumb. I have a scar on my left ear. Uhmmmm i don't have s thigh gap. My belly is pierced. My right eyebrow is better than my left. I have a scar on my forehead. And I'm fat 57. Things you want to say to an exPos58. What are five ways to win your heart?Already answered 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)Ugly 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?7 yrs lol 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?Answered 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?Make breakfast for me and take it to bed then start besándome and uk how that gooooes63. What is your definition of “having sex”?Answered 64. What is your definition of cheating?Answered 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?A deep passionate kiss then kissing the neck then nibbling the ear then leaving bites in the neck and chest and going down the tummy then the rest is for me to know66. What is your favourite roleplay?Teasing w my tongue hehe 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?Anything w food lmao 68. What is your sexual orientation?Str869. What turns you off?Too much aggressiveness like demanding aggressiveness that's not sexy lol idk hard to explain 70. What turns you on?Answered 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?Uhhhhh .....72. What words do you like to hear during sex?"Who's daddy" "you're so wet" "oh fuck" "baby" haha I'm wild 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?Give me a million dollars 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for???? I don't get it 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?When it would be cold outside my ex would pump my gas for me ))))):76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?Give him my virginity lol 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?As long as both people are not underage you good 78. What’s your dirtiest secret?Lmaooooo too private 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?Everytime bae adds girls in Facebook and likes their picture 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?Today 81. Who are five people you find attractive?Idk everyone ugly lol82. Who is the last person you hugged?Bae83. Who was your first kiss with?My 8tj grade "boyfriend" lol84. Why did your last relationship fail?He started becoming really abusive and we were both too hard headed so when we would fight we'd throw everything from the past to each other's face and say shit to each other that we didn't mean just to get each other mad, our first official break up I talked to someone else and he got mad and ever since that he would call me a hoe and a slut and call me names and it just wasn't the same anymore we would only fight bcus of his trust issues and shit and eventually I moved to a diff town for college and he ended things 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?Yeah depends tho