#every good show with 20+ episodes per season has bad episodes

[leohttbriar]

okay i've only finished two seasons and maybe i have bad taste but i think star trek voyager is really good tv

[theabhainnhotel]

Every Hazbin Hotel Season 1 Song Ranked

Because why not. I'm going to go from worst to best and explain why I put them there. This will include songs from the pilot + Addict. I don't believe any song is bad per say, but some are definitely better than others. They're all better than Wish's music if that means anything.

There's going to be some very controversial picks here, please put the pitchforks down.

20. It Starts with Sorry - The best way I can describe this song is "aw that was cute . . . wait what were the lyrics again?" It sounds like a mid-tier MLP song and doesn't fit the rest of the soundtrack. Very forgettable and I also felt the introduction to the song in the episode had no build up. Animation was pretty here though.

19. Whatever it Takes - I was mixed between putting this one or It Starts with Sorry at the bottom, but I like Vaggie's part enough. There's something missing here and I can't put my finger on it. I feel like it could have been stronger because the lyrics are good, but the instrumentals are so bland. I listened to a review once that said that Carmilla is a new character the show treats like you should already know and I agree. Maybe that's the reason why I don't care for this song. Mostly carried by Zestial and Vaggie's vocals and some nice lyrics.

18. Welcome to Heaven - I don't think this song is as bad as everyone says, it's just less good than the others. It sounds like something you would hear at a public pool and like It Starts with Sorry, doesn't feel like it fits the track. Emily's part was the best part and it does do it's job of establishing the difference between Heaven and Hell. (also, I don't know if this is 100% true or not, but it's really funny to me that they had to redo this song because St. Peter moaned too much and Amazon was like "oh hell no we're not airing that")

17. More than Anything (Reprise) - Wow is Vaggie's voice pretty. Charlie's voice to. It's short and sweet and romantic. I wish they had a full song together. Would've been higher if it was longer, but that's the point of a reprise. It was more impactful when it was a father daughter song.

16. Alastor's Reprise - I forgot about this one until I relistened to the pilot songs for this ranking. My favorite thing about this song is how cynical it is. Alastor's basically saying "this hotel is a ridiculous idea that's going to crash and burn but I'm going to have fun with it". The swing remix of IOEDIAR is also very catchy. But just like the More than Anything reprise, it's too short to be put high up, especially with the abrupt ending.

15. Loser Baby - I like the message a lot: "Hey, the world might suck and we're both in horrible situations, but we're not alone". Keith David does a great job singing. Like with Whatever it Takes, I can't pinpoint what it is I don't like about this song, it just doesn't get me excited like a lot of the other songs do. "I got an appetite for samplin' every drug and sex toy I can FIIIIIIIND" makes me wince every time, that's a bad voice crack. The strong jazz in the back is my favorite part of the song. I'd listen to that lyricless. Not bad, I just don't care for it.

It does include Keith David singing "You're a power bottom at rock bottom" so that must count for something.

14. Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow - I have a soft spot for this song, even if it's jarring listening to Elsie Lovelock as Charlie after the series. It has a nice upbeat energy to it and the animation helps sells it. I like both bits where's she's naming off all of the people she wants to join in her hotel. It actually reminds me of Vox in Stayed Gone, trying to talk and move fast because they know they need to get the attention of the demons watching. However, the ending vocals are a bit annoying since they sound almost screeching. Also, the Amalee cover of this song is extremely underrated. Charlie's villain arc.

13. Happy Day in Hell - I feel bad for putting this song so low because I really do love it. It's a great introduction to who Charlie is as a character and what she sets out to do. It's her Disney "I want" song. And while I don't care about the other demons' parts that much, I like how their pessimism and acceptance of Hell contrasts with Charlie, but she doesn't let that stop her. It's also a very musically interesting song with different sections and instrumentals. A trend you're going to see in this ranking is that I really, really love Erika Henningsen's voice.

12. Addict - I've always liked the lyrics to this song, both in Angel's and especially Cherri's. The last verse of "I'm addicted to the sorrow, when the buzz ends, by tomorrow" is my favorite part. Angel's high of the day slows down just like the tempo and he finally takes the mask off. The one thing here is that, no hate to Michael Kovach I respect him greatly, Angel's voice sounds extremely auto-tuned. Once you hear it, you can't unhear it and it's a bit grating. I have to give it credit though for being the song that made me learn what Hazbin Hotel was, I found a version of it where Lust Sans and Dust Sans sang it and then searched it up.

11. Ready for This - This song and everything after is where the ranking gets difficult because ugh, all of these are so good. This one is another very theatre sounding song and I like how Charlie gets more confidence as the song goes on. Even if she's uncomfortable with how bloodthirsty the cannibals are, she wants to gather everyone together. I love Rosie and Alastor's singing, both together and apart, and it's funny that none of the cannibals gave a shit until he said "oh and you can eat the angels". That last verse is the best part, no wonder it was the song teased in the trailer. My gripe with this one is I feel the part where all the cannibals sing overstays it's welcome. Other than that, great song.

10. Hell is Forever - This song does a great job at establishing who Adam is: An admittedly funny douche who thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. The electric guitar fits his character and not just because he has the "guitar solo fuck yeah" part. He poses a decent threat, especially at the ending and doesn't care about any of Charlie's arguments or the sinners' lives. He literally says it's entertaining. Alex Brightman gives him so much character through his voice and the animation helps express that.

9. Out for Love - More than makes up for Whatever it Takes. Catchy, great singing, great beat, great chorography, sets up their future dynamic, and foreshadows the final battle. The reason Alastor failed while everyone else succeeded is because he fought for himself while everyone else fought for someone they cared about. Vaggie's love for Charlie saved her. Carmilla's voice is lovely. I just wish this one was a little longer, this song feels like there's a verse or two missing since it goes immediately to a bridge after the second chorus. I have a theory something may have been cut for time.

8. I'm Always Chasing Rainbows - This . . . this is not what I expected to be my favorite pilot song. And yes, I know technically it's not a Hazbin song but rather a cover of an old song, but I've seen it on other rankings and it's on the wiki, so it counts. There's just this haunting, defeated aura to this song that makes it beautiful. The context of it being Charlie feeling like a failure after watching her people die again gives it more impact. It sets up the bitter tone of the extermination. She's trying so hard to stay positive and it would be interesting to see an AU where she sings this as a result to the hotel failing. Very underrated, I love this song.

7. Hell's Greatest Dad - I'm a sucker for electro swing so this one was great. Alastor canonically pulled the "your daughter calls me daddy too" card on the king of Hell and that will never not be funny. This whole song is hilarious in the concept alone: Lucifer and Alastor have a music battle over child custody of Charlie but Alastor doesn't actually care about her and just wants to piss off Lucifer. Something about the way Lucifer sings "champagne fountains, caviar mountains" scratches my brain just right. The one thing that puts this song lower is Mimzy's part and the final verse after the instrumental battle being much weaker than the rest.

6. Finale/The Show Must Go On - I don't care what people say, I think it's a great final number and it feels like a musical finale before the audience claps. I know this song is always praised for the Vees part and yeah obviously that was the best part, but Charlie really stood out to me. Especially in the "We can do this (we can do this!), we'll be better (we'll be better!), though redemption may take a while (though it may take a while!). Alastor's part is haunting and is such a shift from the hotel resident's and really shows how high he prides himself, along with how much this "deal" affects him. Valentino and Vox's duet is super memorable and sets up intrigue for season 2. But seriously, why are the Vees like this (lovingly).

5. Respectless - I love Velvette's character here. She acts as this spoiled brat that thinks she's better than she is, but once she gets the reaction she wants out of Carmilla, she proves she actually is quite smart, even if she does nothing with the information she gained. Anyways, about the song now, it's a good length and does it's job of establishing Velvette and how the other overlords feel about her. It's good she has this since this is her biggest moment in season 1. Zestial has to have the patience of a saint. Her voice fits the hip hop parts and Carmilla's classical bits make good contrast and characterization to show the differences between the two.

I like to think sudden song battles are a common thing among overlords and it's almost expected at every meeting.

4. Stayed Gone - No, I didn't just put it near the top because it's my two favorite characters having a rap battle. This song has great banter and insults, along with establishing Vox and Alastor's dynamic. My favorite wordplay is "now his medium is getting bloody rare". I like how Vox is so frantic and jumping around to show he's insecure while Alastor is calm and collected. Vox is attracted terrified of Alastor and he doesn't want to admit it. It's also unique on how it's two villains having a song battle. The only thing I wish is that there were one or two more singing parts since those were the best part.

3. More Than Anything - It took me a while to warm up to this song and I had it at number 9 originally, but wow is it beautiful. Both Charlie and Lucifer's VA's do a great job here. It explains more about their past and concludes the arc set up in the episode. Charlie wants Lucifer to support her and Lucifer wants Charlie to be safe. It's the most emotional song and the lyrics are so beautifully written.

2. You Didn't Know? - This one and Stayed Gone were close, but I like this one a little more. It may have issues with the story (ex. the emotional impact would have been better if we knew Emily and Sera more), but on it's own, it's a great song. My favorite part is Adam and Lute's "There's no question to be posed, he's unholy, case closed! Did you forget that Hell is forever?" This feels the most like a musical song with everyone singing together and how the instrumentals are used. I read some lines sound clunky and while I agree for Charlie's "that's what the fuck I've been saying", I think Adam's "did you ever think your girlfriend might be a liar" works better than "might be lying" because "liar" sounds more accusatory. And obviously there's the part where Charlie and Emily sing together and that's amazing.

Poison - I adore every bit of this song, it's basically everything good in Addict cranked up to a 10. The storytelling, the lyrics, the vocals, this is one of those songs I can have on loop for hours and not get bored of it. The lyric progression from "addicted" to "choking" to "sick of" is so good and I love how it shows that he's breaking. It makes sense why Angel would have this song in his circumstances because that's his whole character: He's a deeply troubled and traumatized guy who hides under drugs, jokes, and sex. He wants to get away, but he can't because Valentino keeps feeding him his "poison". I had plans to do a mini essay on the dressing room scene in Masquarde and I'm going to include Poison in it too. I understand why people wouldn't like it, but I think it's a 10/10 and best song in the show.

[alicepao13]

I'm going to write a long ass thing about the Hudson and Rex show through the seasons, inspired by the rewatch posts that I've been seeing. It's not a review, though. It's just how I saw it from my point of view. Also, I reserve the right to make "The Great Hudson and Rex Rewatch of [insert year]" tag if and when I rewatch it and review episodes individually then.

So, if anyone followed this blog circa early 2020 (pre pandemic), I'd probably made a "Oh my god there is a new Rex adaptation and this time it's in English!" post. I don't remember it, but I know I'd told quite a few people online and off when I had found out. Also, so lame that I found out when they were already in S2 but anyway.

Right off the bat, I realized that the people making Hudson and Rex had not quite understood the assignment. The premise of the show and the cases were never meant to be light and fluffy like the dog. Instead, the dog was supposed to be the counterweight, the uplifting part. Most cases were supposed to be grimy and dark. Creepy. With bad guys that would make your skin crawl. Instead, Hudson and Rex mostly had bad guys that were pretty tame, aside from a few notable exceptions. And they put a guy on the helm of this show that was previously scripting kid shows, I mean, that's enough to tell me they weren't meaning to get deep into it.

It's also why for me the show got way better after S2 (when they changed showrunners). Which was, let's face it, ginormous and never ending (not having any info on when it was supposed to end also had made it seem that way from my part, as literally no tv scheduler of mine had that info back then). To be fair, another reason was because I wasn't invested at the time, and I wasn't invested because I'd seen how light the show was and how unwilling everyone involved was to go a bit deeper into it (from the writers to the producers to the cast). And I think I initially noticed a few signs that that was changing in S3, which allowed me to get more invested into it. [Note: I still maintain that the last few episodes aside from the finale of S2 were pretty good, but they aired at a point where I was already wondering where the hell the season ended.]

Onward to season 3. For a season that had been produced in a difficult period of time under difficult circumstances, with Covid and the crime shows being accused of copaganda, a few, let's say, unusual choices were made. Still, that season was better and way more interesting than the other two. And not as long, which helped. Again, the premise of the show was never supposed to be 20 episodes per season, it is very taxing on the cast, on the dog, and to everyone who has to perform and do their best in a shorter amount of time. So, S3 had 16 episodes, and it fared better. There were stakes, they played a bit more with the romance between Charlie and Sarah, things were moving. Somewhat.

Kudos to them for electing not to put Covid in their world. I'm not necessarily against that but I didn't need it to be inserted into every show I was watching. Also, kudos to them for Charlie's new house, it's really nice (although I will repeat that I'm not sure how exactly he could afford it).

And then we get to season 4, and boy oh boy, have I ever misjudged a season so much. I mean, if it hadn't been so poorly executed, I'd have said that it was all my fault for being impatient. Do you ever see how things will turn out early on, guess all the major plot points that would happen, and then say to yourself, "No, that's not it, because there's no way they'd do such and such and such to make that happen, it's so stupid"? This is what happened here. And I'm not sure what had frustrated me more back then, that I had thought I'd been wrong about where S4 was headed or that the more we were hitting the plot points that I had anticipated would happen, the more disjointed the story was becoming. Like an orchestra that was playing a known score out of tune the entire time. I'm not sure whether I'd choose the word dissonance or discordance for it, but if we were to isolate the moments, they were actually good. The angst was good. The pining, very good. But as a whole, it didn't always make sense and that was frustrating, as it made it hard to guess everyone's intentions and motive behind their actions.

A lot of my issues had to do with how they were writing Sarah's character as well in that season because as an audience, I should know whether she had actually truly tried to move on from her crush on Charlie or she was dating because she didn't think her feelings were reciprocated and Michael was just... there. That would have made a difference. But I suspect that it was very intentional to not give anything away, though that doesn't mean I have to like it or more importantly that it was executed in a sensible way. Charlie's spiral into what in other shows would have endangered his career (not here, though, no, sir) was great and I would have liked to have seen way more of that, and more of his friends worrying about him, and more of him pulling away from everyone and having that acknowledged. I'd have liked to see him more upset too. More importantly, I'd have liked to see a real reason for his character regression other than "the girl I like doesn't like me back :'( " like for example, the dozens of times he had been in a traumatizing situation. That, combined with what he assumed was unrequited feelings, would have made a perfect cocktail of explosive emotions.

To be honest, I don't understand why the perception of the fandom to this day is the same as it was when we were going through the episodes of S4 because post season clarity offers a different perspective entirely. It's understandable to be upset when you watch it unfold in real time. That's what the rewatches are for, to see the season as a whole. Yes, a few decisions on the script were hare-brained [I still don't understand how Sarah went from "I forgive you Michael for lying to me about important stuff and we're good and making headway in our relationship" to "I don't know where this is going" in two episodes, and the only logical (non-episode shuffling) explanation is that she was just waiting for Charlie to express his feelings, whom in her place I'd have punched and refuse to call a friend anymore if he had waited to find the courage, or more like the audacity, to express his feelings just as he thought he was losing the woman he wanted to another man when said woman was free a few months ago]. But to me, the emotions the episodes elicited regarding their relationship were always more like "oh these damn fools don't see what's right in front of them" and not "I want to stop watching this bullshit right now". It is actually very similar to Castle's S4, although the execution on Castle did not make me want to cuss Andrew Marlowe. With Peter Mitchell, well, I can't say the same thing.

Anyway, as we can probably safely assume right now, a lot of their relationship and whether it would progress or not had been hanging on a wire. The actual cliffhanger and some of the interviews pretty much confirm that theory. And I assume that probably influenced the execution too. So, I'm giving it a bit of slack.

Going on to S5, we flat-lined and I'll explain that. I'd have liked to be able to say that it was better than S4 but it wasn't. It wasn't worse either but it was really bland at times. And it gave me the impression that they were given more episodes than they could handle. I'll say it again, this show should never have 20 episodes ever again, it puts a big strain on everyone.

What was good about S5 was that it gave characters other than Charlie and Rex, mainly Joe and Jesse, a few more moments to shine. It also had one of the best season finales of the show so far. No, I don't need a character in danger of dying every time to call it a good finale, but I do need the season finale to be intense and high stakes. Which did not happen in S2, S3, and damn, I don't even know which one to call season finale in S1. Imagine that.

They wasted two perfectly good episodes for me by making up an entire set of new characters for a two-parter that I could have sworn was serving as backdoor pilot, but wasn't. I still don't know what that was. Again, the only logical explanation was that they were given episodes (and money) that they didn't know how to put to good use. Those were two pretty good episodes that could be a part of most crime shows, but they were not Hudson and Rex episodes. Not if we consider the premise of this show. Everyone was separated, Charlie was off doing his own thing (I won't get into availability issues, as a production it is most embarrassing to not be able to find a viable schedule for your main lead and I refuse to cut any production slack for that), and Rex was literally thrown to the wolves.

The most bland part for me in S5 was the middle. The pace of the episodes really struggled there. And then suddenly it moved in what I saw as an accelerated pace, the two-parter and the last four episodes seemed like they had come out of a different show or different season, if you were to look at the mellow pace of the season up to that point.

Again, I must note the lack of transferability of emotions, consequences, experiences, etc., from one season to the next. However, I must also say that they made a bit more of an effort to bring back people, characters, and storylines in S5 to remind us of past seasons, even though they mainly stuck to the small things.

For me, it was a big mistake to make Charlie be the perfect guy again after S4. He had been struggling, and no one can convince me that behaviors such as what he had exhibited before were only because he was feeling rejected and was "cured" like magic in the next season. And it shouldn't be that way, he has gone through some serious stuff, which the show is trying to downplay all the time.

Also, the cop's "white whale" case is a pretty common trope. It should be decided by the writers before the scripting of S1. Otherwise, we have them not reacting appropriately to the dozens of similar cases that they come across until the writers decide what the cop's white whale case is supposed to be. Taking a couple of seasons to write it is usual. Deciding that in S5? I've personally never seen it happen and I've been watching crime shows for more than two decades now. Retconning is a huge favorite with the writers of this show.

Charlie and Sarah's relationship development was a big feature in S5, and it was mostly good stuff. I didn't like that they didn't have one fight but their stability was also nice. And when I say one fight, I dislike manufactured drama that comes out of nowhere but there are so many significant reasons, especially when they keep getting in danger, to have a fight. Now that I'm thinking about it, the tagline of S5 should be "stability".

Jesse growing up and going for detective was something I wasn't expecting, and you can also see the progress of that storyline somewhat in S5, and Joe coming to terms with the fact that Jesse can do this. He was pretty much the last one that needed to be convinced of this, the way I see it.

I'm refraining from making comments about S6 since we've only watched 6 episodes. I want to see where that ends up. The only comment I'll make regarding that is that I don't think the production company cares much about anything other than Charlie and Rex, it's basically up to individual writers and the showrunner to write anything else, and, regardless of how fans perceive S4, we should be glad to have had someone like Peter Mitchell at the helm of the show, who made any kind of meaningful change between Charlie and Sarah, because it doesn't seem like anybody else was willing to put their ass on the line for those two.

All in all, this is a show that it seems to me like from the start, not a lot of people believed in it, despite evidence that people in the other side of the world had once loved it (and since it already had another adaptation, I'd have called it a safe bet). It's certainly in a better place now than it was when it had its first season, it terms of production, performance, and creativity, and I think that sometimes we forget that because we've watched like 90 episodes. No, it doesn't always meet my expectations but maybe I also shouldn't compare it to the dozens of shows I've watched which certainly have a bigger budget than this one, which don't depend on dog tricks to get people's attention (I don't say this to make fun of the show, dog tricks is what they do, it's like half of the show). But I also cannot refrain from criticizing mistakes that could have easily been avoided, had they made a little more effort.

[toomanyopinionss]

Ok, it’s bout time to talk about

Titans

disclaimer- i’ll only be talking about seasons 1 and 2 of the show

…

Has a show ever made you feel so conflicted, you can’t even tell if you actually like it or not? This is that show for me. There’s so much I really like about this show, but also so much that irks me.

Let’s start with the good :)

- i LOVE a found family show. There’s something so comforting abt finding a home in people who are so different from you.

- I realllly like how not all of them are teenagers, but not all of them are adults. It makes for a nice balance and blends in nice with the more adult themes the show has. I love watching the older titans (ALL of them with their trauma, rough childhoods, and mommy and/or daddy issues) try and take care of the younger ones, giving them the good role models they didn’t have.

- The backstories are done so well. I’m a girl who likes context, and when I tell you some of my favorite episodes are the ones where we get to see how the hero’s ended up where they are. It’s just so good.

- All of them have done awful things. Not one titan has a clear conscience. but instead they’re all trying to navigate this fvcked up world like the rest of us. it humanizes them a bit, which i like.

also not all of them have super powers. I like how hawk and dove are not super powered in the least. they saw a need to become the superhero’s they never got when they were younger, and then they did that shit. we LOVEEEE.

Now, for the bad :/

-This show suffers immensely from the current trend of short seasons. it’s biggest enemy is time. this type of show require 20 episodes per season, at LEAST. i guess i should count it as a blesssing that they got more than 10 episodes for the first two seasons, which is more than i can say for every other show i’ve watched this year. Because of this, though, Titans has had to balance introducing the characters and exploring their relationships, while also trying to progress the story along. The fact that they manage to fit at least a couple backstory episodes in there is a miracle. but it leads to my next point

-The villains suck ass. When i watched Teen Titans as a kid, Trigon gave me nightmares. but the trigon here was giving antagonist in one of those rated R blockbuster summer vacation movies. and he was defeated in like 15 minutes by season two episode 1

Back in my Arrow days, I remember Slade being scary af. my man made every aspect of Oliver Queen’s life hell on earth for like 30 episodes. we as an audience had to watch as he slowly took apart his life piece by piece. but here? the only reason i gave a shit abt slade was because of Jericho, my beloved. Yeah the titans fell apart, but that was more attributed to Dick failing as a leader. it probably would have happened sooner or later even without slade there. also, conner and garfield with cadmus posed more of a threat than he did by the finale, which is saying something .

i will say that jericho twist got me though, that stuff was good.

-Jason. this team FAILED jason. I will never get over how spectacularly every single person either couldn’t see, or refused to see how this boy was struggling. Whenever I think abt it, it angers me. even BEFORE he fell off the damn building. I mean, the adults pour all this time and love into raven and… raven, but when it comes down to it, there was no support for him. HOW COULD JASON BE STANDING ON THE ROOF OF THE TITANS TOWER THINKING OF ENDING IT ALL, AND DICK MAKES IT ALL ABOUT HIMSELF? I saw a bit of the first episode of season 3, and i couldn’t go on until i poured out my thoughts somewhere. I don’t know if he’s actually dead, cause u really never know with these types of shows. if he is though? his blood is on the hands of every single adult figure in his life. fvck them ALL.

Quite frankly, there’s so many more

things that I’ve yet to touch

stupid story decisions, some bad acting, a gaping lack of lgbtq+ characters, at least in the 2 seasons i’ve watched

but i’m getting upset so let me just end it with this:

The show is farrrr from perfect. but it’s got a good heart, i think. and i can just tell when a network is getting ready to cancel something. so if anyone comes across this post who hasn’t watched the show, give it a shot

6.5/10 stars. maybe 7 if dick gets his act together for season 3

[beet1031]

weird question, but is the fact that every new show has like 12 episodes per season, maximum, one of those things where studios refuse to give their producers more screen time or something? Bc it is genuinely so frustrating that each and every show these days is so god damn short, and as a result everything feels rushed and overwhelmingly fast.

like I understand that some shows do that in order to cut out filler episodes, but imo that’s not always a good thing. Filler is like body fat, in my opinion. Yes, too much is bad, but having none at all is also not good. Shows with too many filler episodes move way too slow and feel less impactful because nothing happens for episodes at a time. But often times when you completely cut filler, you end up with ridiculously short seasons and as a result cram as much plot into each episode as physically possible. Which makes it feel like everything is happening too fast, and you have no time to process what just happened before the show is already on the next thing.

plus if you know how to write them well, filler episodes can be some of the best ones in your show. They’re a good chance to just have some fun with your characters/plot, while also giving the audience time to chill after a major story event. So yea, pleaseeeee bring back seasons of shows that have like 20 episodes, ya girl wants some shows with healthy fats on them

[incorrectoverthehedge]

So I'm in a bit of a conundrum right now when it comes to the Over the Hedge series I'm writing. I'm also pretty much rambling, so forgive me if what I'm saying is a bit hard to follow or something.

If you don't know, I want to do at least more than fifteen episodes per season, since I think that's enough for a theoretical season. Brooklyn Nine-Nine has somewhere close to that amount (although that's mostly it's final season).

However, in writing the ideas out, I want to make each season tackle themes while also being funny. There's going to be some character development for sure, but I'd like to have at least a few palate cleansers. The second season in particular will have a lot of that, but in doing so, I feel like I need to compensate in a way.

The way I planned out the Taxidermist storyline, it allowed me to scrap one episode idea, that being Wild Wild Words, and one other episode idea. However, that still leaves me with twenty planned episodes overall for the first season.

Something else to note is the rate I update. Each chapter I write I usually want to get at least 2,000 words in, and sometimes I'll have days where I'm eager to write, and days where I just don't have the energy. Add onto that the fact I'm constantly distracted even on days I want to write, and it makes consistent progress on writing borderline impossible.

At most, I'll finish at least one episode a month, and even then it's likely it won't come out the way I want it to. I'll think of new ideas on the fly, realize they won't work, but It'll be too late because I have the chapter out already. Ideas I throw in will then no longer have the time to properly play out, and it feels amateurish.

And speaking of an episode a month, I actually did the math. If I were to continue on this continue of an episode a month, with 20 in a season, then it would take me about two years to complete one season. That wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have FIVE seasons overall.

Now yes, the other seasons are a bit shorter, but that's still at least over fifteen episodes, each season will still take a little over a year. With the line up I have currently, combining every single episode I plan on currently (that being eight-nine) with the average amount of episodes that come out (at least one month), that leaves me with at least 89 months.

AKA, SEVEN YEARS.

I would be thirty by the time the final episode comes out, and while I do love Over the Hedge, I don't know how I could keep that love for seven years straight.

Now I know the easy solution would be to delete some episodes I'm not that interested in, but the problem lies in the fact that some of the episodes are not only palate cleansers, but a good chunk of them involve the Verminator. It would be so strange to not have him show up for long periods of time despite being the main villain.

So what I'm going to do is see if I can move some episodes around and maybe, just maybe it'll be easier on myself. Maybe I can get each season down to at least fifteen episodes. I know that might still take over a year, but it's the best I got for giving a good season whilst also not burning myself out.

Season 2 in general is a season that I will say is pretty big on developing characters like Lou, Penny, and Hammy, so while those aren't being touched, it also means that some characters I have in mind have to be scrapped. It's a shame, but I don't want to do this for seven years.

Anyways, hope that can make things a little easier on me.

[sdotwomackart]

Tis the season and I’m bored so here’s a fun thing I noticed on my last Star Wars rewatch.

For background, I usually just watch the Lucas stuff, so episodes 1-6. I do so in a modified “Machete” Order (4-5,1-3,6) because treating the prequels as an extended flashback to explain the whole “I am your father” revelation works really well and the themes of Sith are reinforced well by Jedi. If you haven’t tried it like that give it a whirl, it’ll change your life. (Episode 1 is technically skippable but I didn’t this time).

Anyway I make it to Return of the Jedi and it’s the opening scene. And, as I’m watching it with someone, I’m about to open my mouth and make the joke that I’m sure everyone thinks of. Palpaptine is slithering next to Darth Vader looking like this:

How is no one in the room thinking something like "Are we the baddies.gif?" You know...true believers and hostages to fascism aside. I go to make the joke but I stop dead in my tracks, instead I just go, unprompted "Oh my GOD....THAT'S WHY!!" Because it finally fucking hit me

Let's remember that I JUST watched Revenge of the Sith and it's also worth noting that I have been watching the movies in this particular order for longer than some of you reading this have been alive. This is all to say that I totally should've put this together sooner but I want to share this feeling with some of you out there who may have been like me.

What slapped me in the face that day was George Lucas had answered that particular question. I was just being too much of a cool kid to see it. See, a little more background, I had always disliked an aspect of this scene:

I always thought it was stupid that Mace Windu melts Palpatine with the force lightning. It always struck me as too much. I thought of it the same way I thought of C-3PO and Chewbacca being included in the prequels, another example of George rushing to get the stuff people recognize into the movies he was dog paddling his way through. "Why couldn't he just get old and gross because it's been 20 years and he's evil?" was basically how I would frame it...because I was an idiot. At the very least, I was not really aware of what backslides into fascism look like, which is not a problem I had in America in 2022.

See it all comes together in THIS scene:

GEORGE HAS PALPATINE USE THE BURNS TO JUSTIFY ORDER 66. Here I was thinking it made everyone in the galaxy look like a dumdum because he's clearly just an evil wizard now. No, he wasn't making Palpatine Hitler in this moment. He was making him John fucking McCain (McCain wasn't a fascist per say he was just a war hero who used that to launch himself into politics). In this moment he’s using the truth, another really fun thing I noticed is that Palpatine (almost) never lies, to play on people’s sympathies and patriotism. They just GIVE HIM the power that he wanted because he rallied them behind a common enemy. In this scene he’s doing what all authoritarian strongmen do, he’s creating a mythology about himself to sell to people and he’s using the truth, or a twisted version of it, to do it. It’s fucking brilliant.

So that brings me back to the deck of the Death Star. The way I read the scene is completely different now. He's not this weird slithering space wizard, he's a fucking war hero. Every step he takes is a show of strength in the face of the enemies of the Empire. Everyone in that room would be filled with either fear for their life or a deep sense of pride in their Emperor. If George had actually come up with any of the prequels ahead of time he would have showed an officer tearing up at the Emperors bravery. Because by now we’d have a room full of guys who only know the myth.

Quick Sidebar: What's funny but not terribly surprising is this detail has been basically memory holed within the myriad of new material since the buyout. Credit where it's due, stuff like Andor and The Bad Batch have been doing a pretty good job of illustrating why people wouldn't be having the best time living under The Empire. But even Andor is falling into the trap of painting the people who operate under that regime as either under duress and secretly gumming up the works or just cartoonishly evil middle management bullies who love being in charge. This isn't wrong, but there's a missing component isn't there? Where are the MAGA hats in the Star Wars universe? Where are just the normal people, the small business owners, the farmers whatever who are just 100% bought in? I'm not saying there should be a series about this or whatever but it would be a fun detail if there were people who believed what Palpatine told them to believe about the Jedi instead of just skipping to the part where they are just an urban myth.

Think of all the rich, real world parallels you could draw! Maybe in a world where we didn't fuck up the notion of younger actors playing legacy characters we could have got a Leia story about how her Force sensitivity wasn't hidden but repressed because Jedi were despised and sent to re-education camps that they never return from. I can't think of any useful real life analog for parents having to worry about hard liners turning their force sensitive children over to the Inquisitors because they've bought into the line that Jedi are evil, can you? Either way I digress. End Sidebar

I was an idiot not to put this together sooner. But I was mostly an idiot for being so hard on George. We all were. The prequels weren't perfect, they aren't even very good, but what they are way more thoughtful and interesting than we gave them credit for at the time.

May the Force Be With You.

If this gets even one like next year I'll tell you guys how I would have fixed Episode IX.

[pynkhues]

hi, sophie! i recently realised that ncis is on it's 20th season and svu is on it's 24th. i always love to see your insights into the industry, so i was wondering if you know or have any theories as to why procedurals seem to be so popular with audiences and/or easy for networks to invest in. i'm just honestly flabbergasted that some shows manage to get 20 seasons when most struggle to get 2.

Hi! Thank you for your lovely words! I love talking about the TV industry, and certainly read and listen to enough about it, haha, so I was delighted to see your ask, because - - well, yeah! Procedurals are pretty fascinating in both their longevity as individual shows and as a format for television generally. They’ve been a stalwart of TV for almost as long as TV has existed; in fact, one of the first procedurals, Telecrime which aired in the UK in 1938, is also one of the first ever multi-episode drama series ever made and one of the first TV dramas written directly for TV and not adapted from a play or a radio play.  

Funnily enough, it doesn’t seem like the genre has even really changed that much. Telecrime followed a detective, Inspector Holt, as he tried to solve one crime per episode, and challenged the audience to solve it before him (in real bummer news: the series is lost to history, with no surviving recordings, so unfortunately we can’t watch it! The pop culture historian in me would love to, haha). Still, you can compare that synopsis to something like Law and Order or House, and the basic concept is the same. They’re your classic whodunit’s, regardless of whether the who is a person or a disease, and in that sort of vein, they’re a televised replacement for the Agatha Christie novels of yore.

And yeah, y’know, they’re comforting. They’re cosy. They’re shows you don’t have to keep up with to enjoy, but will potentially get more out of if you do, because the puzzle is more the point than the characters.

They’ve always been crucial to the TV landscape, but I think right now, they feel strange because they mark a widening gap between TV and Streaming, and I think in a lot of ways also mark a bit of a shift in the industry now.

Let me explain.

The Colour of Money

First thing to remember is that comparatively to most TV, procedurals are cheap to make.

I know, I know, it doesn’t always seem that way with an explosion or two and headlines telling you how much certain actors earn, but the reality is procedurals are usually limited sets, not-all-but-a-lot of early-career writers and directors, limited (and often very established) sets meaning few builds, easy costuming (a lot of cop uniforms for instance will be hired en mass from a costume house and not require extensive design in a way something like, say, Game of Thrones or Succession would), and can even share sets. Courtroom sets can be, and are, used by a lot of shows and movies, meaning many studios will have a set that every show can use, so you don’t have location costs of shooting off the studio lot.

They also make money.

They’re an easy sell to advertisers, particularly if they’re established procedurals – advertisers know exactly what they’re associating their product with when they slot themselves into commercial space on NCIS or Chicago Fire, and they know these shows rate (which I’ll come back to the why of shortly), and knowing content and context makes them safe in a way that, for instance, Twitter, isn’t. You don’t know on Twitter what your ad might be nestled between, or, y’know, when the platform is going to be acquired by a megalomaniac.

They also sell internationally, which is crucial.

I’ve talked a little on here before, but streaming services have really killed off territory sales, which is really, really bad for TV as an industry. Territory sales is actually how shows have historically made money. NBC would, for instance, front the costs for producing a show like, say, Good Girls, and how they would make that money back would be through selling Good Girls as a complete season to an Australian network, to a French network, to a Japanese network, to wherever, with each sale building profits to ultimately recoup costs, make a bit of profit, and then fund future seasons of the show.

Streaming services now typically acquire international rights, meaning production companies make one sale instead of multiple, and most streaming services currently pay really badly. Like - - a fraction of what used to be possible with territory sales.

This is a bit of an aside, but we’re starting to see the impact of that. It’s why streaming services are starting to pull their original content to sell it to other networks or streamers. TV is expensive! Territory sales have always been where the money was.

So yes. Because procedurals are still predominantly on Network TV, they still have old territory deals, meaning a lot of them are still making old territory money. Law and Order and NCIS still air on Channel 10 here in Australia, meaning it’s still a network territory sale, and not a streaming sale as an international deal, and this is the same in many other countries around the world.

These long-running procedurals are still selling TV to TV network, not TV network to international streamer, meaning they’re still making the sort of money TV used to, which means they’re still making the sort of money that’s recouping costs and funding new seasons.

But why are they selling so well internationally still?

People watch them, which I guess is kind of your question, haha.

So, why do people still watch them? Truthfully, who knows! There are a lot of theories that get bandied about as to why procedurals still work, and they range from ones I find unfairly pessimistic to unfairly glorifying. My personal theories tend to vary, but I really think it comes down to appointment viewing versus regularly scheduled programming.

Appointment viewing is usually what you call viewing you have to watch at the right time, usually because they’re expected to be conversation pieces. A sports game, The Bachelor in its prime, a show like Succession. Shows that are going to be significant to your life, to your friendship network, hell, even just because it’s the show you and your co-workers have found common ground with. They’re shows you talk about, so shows you risk getting spoiled on.

Appointment viewing used to really be certain nights of the week – never Friday or Saturday, because the assumption with broadcasters was that you’d be out, and rarely Mondays. Thursdays and Sundays were often prime for this, meaning networks would program their conversation starters on those nights, and pepper the rest of the week with regularly scheduled programming, and usually Fridays and Saturdays with re-runs or old movies. It meant Mondays, when NCIS airs, isn’t for appointment viewing, it’s there to be the thing you catch when you’re home from work and put the kids to bed, but aren’t quite ready to go to sleep yourself. A comfort show with a little mystery that caps off your evening before work the next day.

That sort of programming has always been crucial to the TV landscape, but Netflix is not TV, and Netflix, somewhere along the lines, decided everything should be appointment viewing.

Binge culture is rough, and the model of streaming services like Netflix (although not all of them, I will say), is to keep your interest (and your money) by offering you an endless parade of conversation starters. Their model talks about content over story, meaning quality is irrelevant, and by treating everything as urgent viewing, ultimately, nothing is. There’s a switch, which I think we’re seeing right now, where appointment viewing fatigue has set in, and people want their comfort shows.

They want their Law and Order SVU and their Yellowstone and their 9-1-1 where it doesn’t matter if they miss an episode, and it doesn’t matter if they forget subplots, and there aren’t any easter eggs to have to look for, or Wiki pages to read to figure out what’s going on. For a lot of people, it’s too much, and on a Monday night, between work and kids and life, most people don’t want appointment viewing, most people just want to solve their little whodunit and go to bed.

The Snap Back

Interestingly, I think we’re starting to see the shape of TV really reverse, and to me, this is sort of a marker of that. Network TV seems to be really reverting back to weekly models, and going back to longer season runs of series’ that are cheap and fun and popular – Abbot Elementary’s 22-episode season 2 is a real indication of that to me – and the fact that it’s timing with Netflix caving in on itself like an undercooked cake, more streamers hiking up fees, WB pulling HBO’s content off its own streamer to sell elsewhere, and Hulu, Disney+ and Prime all shifting to weekly content instead of season drops paints a pretty distinct picture. I think streamers are realising that their model doesn’t work, and TV networks are starting to entertain the idea that their model – while very imperfect – actually sort of did. I think it means we’ll end up somewhere in the middle of both – that TV needed to be dragged forwards but that streaming was a huge leap that we need to now be dragged back from, and what that looks like in terms of actual shows and platforms is anyone’s guess.

That’s not really your ask though, haha, so yes! Really, I think it comes down to the fact that TV is a business, and procedurals are cheap and sell well and are a crucial part of the TV eco-system, and shows that are maybe better, but more expensive, or harder sells, or do sell to international streamers who can’t work out how to profit off them in the way they want, is why procedurals are the only shows that really feel stable right now.

[mediadiscord]

The Last of Us – Season 1 Episode 4 – Review

Hey everyone welcome back to my review of another episode of The Last of Us. The show which I'm liking, based on a video game I've never played on a system that that I didn't continue after the second generation. As per usual this review will not feature any Easter eggs, because frankly I wouldn't know what one would be. I’m actually getting this out at a decent date, hopefully. I have also made another revelation when going back and reading what I’ve been writing. This isn’t just a review, but a recap and review. Although, since I also have labeled the previous posts as reviews, I’ll just keep going with that. This is just a little behind the scenes stuff, but secretly these should be named recap and review and thus you will be getting a recap and my thoughts on the latest episode of The Last of Us.The last episode was so heart breaking and I thing the writers knew the impact it may have, so that’s why this episode seems very light and only picks up on action towards the end. You have time to come down from the last episode and get some humor before things go down and you remember where they are going now and meet what happens to Karen’s when the world ends and they need use their powers of horribleness to gain followers. We start out this episode with Joel and Ellie at a gas station where Joel is trying to syphon some gas, let’s hope he saved the mint for after he was done. Ellie is secretly playing with her new toy aka the gun she took from the house after she found it last episode. She has also seemed to get her hands on a joke book that sounds like it was written by every collective dad in the world. The jokes are corny and are just invitations to mock the person that said them. In my circle of friends if you tell a bad joke you’re going to get a good 30 minutes of getting made fun of for trying to pass off a trash joke. Joel doesn’t do this but instead just sighs and takes it. During the car ride Ellie gets her first look at the mess that is called the male human body and makes Joel very uncomfortable as he asks her to put it away. Joel then decides to go camping since they had driven enough for that day.Deep in a forest where they’ve set up camp Joel whips a batch of the most elegant 20-year-old Chef Boyardee Ravioli, and they eat like kings. Ellie wants to start a fire but is told not to as it will attract people that will do much worse to them than kill them. This bit of truth is a little too much for Ellie as she wants confirmation that no one knows they’re out there and Joel obliges. You then cut to Ellie sleeping as Joel stands watch over her protecting her. Dad mode never goes away, no matter if the person you’re looking after is your own flesh and blood or not. Ellie wakes up to what sounds like a steampunk alarm clock, but it’s just a pot of coffee brewing. Ellie leans over and takes a smell and says it smells disgusting, and that they had Starbucks at the quarantine zone. I guess in the great fast food war Starbucks and it’s spinach and tomato panini’s won. Joel and Ellie are driving when Ellie inquires about Joels brother. He informs her he’s a joiner, which is a nice way of saying he has family issues and constantly is looking for a new group to resemble one. Joel tells of how he joined the armed forces, and after the outbreak he joined the fireflies and that’s how Joel met Tess. He says where they’re going and if his brother isn’t there they’ll go to another possible location. Ellie falls asleep and wakes u when they hit a stopping point at a location that’s blocked. Ellie is playing navigator and is guiding Joel through the city to get back on the highway, but get stopped by someone who is hurt. Joel seeing they are just a lying liar who lies and guns it towards them. They start getting shot at and crash the truck into a small store. After a shoot out that involves just Joel. He takes one out and the other one ambushes him. Ellie takes out her gun does whatever any of us would do in that situation. She shoots him in the back, Paralyzing him and Joel asks Ellie to go hide because he doesn’t want to see him give this guy another hole in his body. Joel and Ellie take off to hide and we then meet Kathleen, who is the Karen of this whole city. You learn that they most likely turned on the government who was stationed there to keep any order. Kathleen is playing both nice and mean cop to a doctor who she believes knows where her sons are and who tipped possible mercs off who may or may not have picked up her son. She’s informed that one of the men Joel killed is this lady and she blames the doctor for being a part of tis and ends his life. We also learn that Kathleen is a master at manipulation and a big lover of secrets as there’s a sink hole opening under one of the buildings where infected will most likely emerge and wreck some stuff.Joel and Ellie makes their way to a very tall building where they imitate Ghostbusters from the 1990’s and climb the stairs and locate a room where they can rest until it’s safe. Joel sets some traps to work as an alarm system and Ellie hits him with her most devastatingly dad joke of all dad jokes. I laughed and so did Joel who went to sleep laughing but woke up to 2 guns pointed it at them. Overall this episode was good. I continue to look at what the world will look like when nature takes over. This wasn’t as heartbreaking as the last episode, but it was still a solid way to help the character progression with Joel and Ellie. We shall see how next week goes and how they get out of having guns pointed at them. Read the full article

[piduai]

my first ever anime was probably pokemon when i was like 6 but it didn't impress me much. like it was in romanian dub (a sin against god) and i still remember ash's voice. i remember an episode where he was stuck in a cave with all of his animal child soldiers being all sad dying and shit. other than that nothing much but misty was cute. 2/10

first actual title that has put a beginning to the brain damage that will never heal was sailor moon. it was on a russian channel, in russian dub. everyone else has kept their japanese names but they made usagi into bunny for some reason??? they aired one episode per week on saturdays at 11 am. my parents didn't like that i was so invested in this cartoon so they made the channel it aired on inaccessible from our tvs, and every saturday i'd religiously go to my bff's house to watch it. we were 8 and we were watching sailor moon. when hotaru appeared it did something horrible to me, i was literally SO obsessed with her it felt like i was possessed. i've never seen the whole thing as a kid tho, they cut it off midway the season when those cross-dressers appeared, and i watched it all as an adult about 4 years ago. it's not a good title, objectively speaking. but it IS iconic as hell. 5.5/10

we had this romanian channel that aired cartoons for toddlers the whole day but would change its whole brand (including the name) at 8:00 pm and only show japanese anime. most of it was aired in original with romanian subtitles, tho a few titles were in english dub with romanian subtitles for some reason. anyway my bff stumbled upon inuyasha there one day and was like you should check it out it's just like sailor moon! and at first i refused. because it felt like if i did i would be betraying sailor moon. some would call it autistic stubbornness (which it was) but i like to think it was my guardian angel trying to shield me from a future of pathetic nerdom (failed, alas). i did end up checking it out though, and man... it was BAD. because unlike sailor moon, it was airing monday-friday at 8:45 pm. this 8-9 years old child has been lost to society. kikyo is still my fucking queen i'd die for. they never showed the whole thing, idk maybe they didn't buy it entirely or didn't sub it entirely but they'd cut off at around episode 110 so i finished it as an adult. i rewatch inuyasha every 4-5 years and honestly my bias aside it's not a bad series. a bit corny and repetitive but it comes with the genre i guess. objectively it's a 6, but i'll give it a 7/10 because it's the series of my childhood.

slayers would air before it, at 8:20 pm. i liked it but was never overly invested, probably because the character designs are ugly as hell. all the openings slap to this day. due to not being particularly invested i don't remember much except that they never showed the degenerate side of it so i never met the bikini girl, thankfully. i think that it's way better than most of the trash yall grew up with and lina is best girl. 6/10

the stuff after would change often, but i remember that trigun and cowboy bebop were kind of on rotation at 9:10 pm because they are short. both good, solid titles. rewatched them both as an adult. trigun is better than cowboy bebop but both are 8/10.

third thing that was on rotation was kiddy grade, which nobody knows about because it's weird ecchi. idk why it was there. i was obsessed nevertheless. or rather, OBSESSED. lumiere from there was on the same level as hotaru and kikyo (mostly bc my bff and i each had an assigned girl lmao she was an usagi/kagome/eclair kind of girl). it felt weirdly pretentious for something that showed so many pantyshots of supposedly underaged girls. rewatched it as an adult too and like... i can't be objective here lol i loved it so much as a kid. 5/10. the objective score would be lower. but the ending song is SO good i'm still obsessed with it...

when the short stuff all completed their rotation they started airing yu yu hakusho at some point. i fucking hated it so much, it was SO boring, yuusuke was a repulsive asshole, botan was boring and pink so i didn't like her, keiko was just some guy and i hated literally everyone else. except kurama. i liked him because he looked and sounded like a pretty girl so he was one in my head, and his demon form looked like inuyasha (i hated the dude himself but loved the title you see). i've been a shounen hater since birth i guess but i was frothing at the mouth as i watched all 100+ episodes of that shit like 3 or 4 times in a row. all they do is train and fight and there's no girls. lame! 3/10

[nurvuss]

I Watched the First Episode of Every New Spring 2021 Anime Airing on Crunchyroll

Hey, are you like me, and feeling like you're not getting the most out of your Crunchyroll subscription? Sure, there's stuff on there that you know you like. But whenever I look at the big long list of simulcasting shows, my eyes glaze over and I don't even know where to begin.

I wanted to change my habits and see if there were any shining gems that I should be watching. So, as per the title, I watched the first episode of every new Spring 2021 anime on Crunchyroll. And guess what? There’s a lot of crap! But indeed, there’s some stuff that’s worth your time.

Some clarification: I've only watched shows that began their first season in April 2021.

Backflip!!

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The Lowdown

As Futaba Shotaro comes to the end of middle school, his interest in baseball has begun to wane. Soon he notices the Ao High Boys Gymnastic Club and becomes enthralled, especially after seeing them perform. Once he learns they're down two members, he chooses to sign up and pursue the art of gymnastics. The club is also joined by Misato Ryoya, a star solo gymnast looking to expand his technique through teamwork.

Our Thoughts

Pretty formulaic shoujo sports anime: you've got your himbo, your thug, your ladies' man, your stoic guy, with Shotaro rounding out the cast as the shy and awkward audience surrogate. It looks wholesome enough, and the choreographed routines employ CG in a way that's quite convincing without being hideous.

Who It's For

Fans of  FREE, or Yuri!!! on Ice, or any similar shows about cute boys who succeed at athletic feats. 

Borscht Rating

Burning Kabaddi

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The Lowdown

Legendary high school soccer star Yoigoshi Tatsuya has given up on sports! That is, until he's blackmailed to join the high school kabaddi team, under threat of his online persona being leaked to the entire school. Although Tatsuya initially writes kabaddi off as stupid, the unexpected happens as he begins to have fun.

Our Thoughts

Kabaddi is kinda like competitive tag, or dodgeball but with your body instead of a ball. Burning Kabaddi is basically the shounen alternative to Backflip!! above, replete with nosebleeds, pratfalls, and dudes punching each other. The main cast don't seem to like each other very much; that probably changes as the show goes on but at first blush it's a dynamic I always find annoying.

Who it's For

Fans of Haikyuu!!? Maybe?

Borscht Rating

CARDFIGHT!! VANGUARD overDress

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The Lowdown

The newest series based on Bushiroad's collectible card game, featuring character designs by the beloved collective CLAMP. Petit middle schooler Yu-Yu just doesn't know how to say no. As his older students dress him in drag to use as live makeup practice, he suffers a panic attack and flees into the streets. After being accosted by a pickup artist, he's befriended by Megumi, who invites him to witness a Cardfight match at the local abandoned amusement park. However, Yu-yu is too shy to tell Megumi he's actually a boy…

Our Thoughts

What an unexpectedly weird concept for a show about a card game. Our hero spends the whole episode in drag, whimpering and simpering at the sight of any conflict. Then they show off the latest series of cards, which all seem to be giant buff knights with names like "Bad Steve" and "Violent Bruce". Your guess is as good as mine.

Who it's For

Cardfight!! lovers, Japanese gender studies majors, or the most desperate fujoshi. 

Borscht Rating

Cestvs: The Roman Fighter

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The Lowdown

The year is 54AD, and Nero has taken the throne as the youngest emperor of Rome. At the bottom of the population, Cestvs is a young slave training to be a colosseum boxer. Reluctant, his only choice is to fight or die.

Our Thoughts

Seeing Nero depicted as a gentle little twink is pretty funny. It's also pretty funny that the central character is named after a Roman boxing glove. The animation style transitions to some very uncanny CG when a major fight takes place, and I didn't like that one bit! This seems like a pretty average tournament anime but with a historical setting. It's currently unknown if any of these dudes are fucking each other. I'm gonna say probably.

Who It's For

The venn-diagram of Greco-Roman history buffs and lovers of tournament series?

Borscht Rating

Don’t Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro!

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The Lowdown:

Hachioji Naoto is a nerdy, introverted student who spends his time studying and avoiding socialising. When pages from the fantasy manga he's drawing fall out of his bookbag, they catch the attention of a younger student named Nagatoro Hayase. Nagatoro begins to tease Naoto for his otaku interests and awkward demeanour, peppered with some suggestive flirting.

Our Thoughts:

What would you do if a younger girl flirted with you? Would you cry? Piss your pants maybe? Maybe shit and cum? Don't Toy With Me… attempts to barely conceal its BDSM fantasy with its comedic elements, but it's incredibly apparent as Nagatoro always wipes away Naoto's tears as a sort of aftercare. It's like a lighter, comedic version of Aku no Hana, but lacking any of the ponderings or danger that made that work so special.

Who It's For: 

People who search Pornhub for "bratty sister femdom".

Borscht Rating:

86 Eighty-Six

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The Lowdown

The Republic of San Magnolia and the Giad Empire, have been at war for nearly a decade. Using advanced military technology, the frontlines are fought by giant mecha drones called Juggernauts, controlled remotely by Handlers. Major Vladilena Mirizé is one of the military's most talented Handlers in the 1st District, and one who is constantly teased by her peers for the humanity and empathy she shows her squadron. The government line is that drone warfare has kept casualties to zero, but unbeknownst to the public these "drones'' are piloted by 86ers—the lowest class of citizens, forced to live in military internment camps in San Magnolia's 86th District.

Our Thoughts

This is incredibly my kind of thing. We've got a dual narrative being set up here: Vladilena as the kind, reluctant officer of a fascist regime, and the Bad Company-esque antics of her new ragtag squad, Spearhead. The first episode is split pretty evenly between the two, with each story converging at the end as Vladilena "meets" Spearhead for the first time through her comms station. It's an explosive and enticing first episode, and I can't wait to watch more of it.

Who It's For

Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist, Psycho-Pass, Gundam, or any number of anti-imperialist war stories.

Borscht Rating

Fairy Ranmaru

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The Lowdown

In a quiet corner of the city sits Bar F, a modest drinking establishment staffed entirely by five hot young men. Unbeknownst to the general population, these men are a crack team of fairies sent to the human world to gather the latent energy of "attachment". They do this by solving the problems of young women, taking their hearts in the process.

Our Thoughts

Hubba hubba, a little something for the ladies! It's Weiẞ Kreuz with a bar instead of a flower shop, fairies instead of assassins, and some pretty revealing outfits. There's definitely a little Persona 5 inspiration here too, from the punctuating phrase "Take your Heart!" to many of the visual cues. Make of that what you will.

Who It's For

Fans of Weiẞ Kreuz, slash fic authors.

Borscht Rating

Farewell, My Dear Cramer

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The Lowdown

Onda Nozomi was once the star player of her middle school football team. Completely unmatched, she no longer plays as there's no opponent she deems to be on her level. Meanwhile Suou Sumire far outpaces her teammates, causing her frustration. By a twist of fate, these two girls find themselves joining the scrappy Warabi Seinan High School FC as they begin to learn the value of teamwork and friendship.

Our Thoughts

I don't know sports. And I really don't know football. I had to look up what the title meant, and now I barely know who Dettmar Cramer is. I'm really not the best person to judge this, but it seems like a pretty good female-driven sports anime. 

Who It's For

Fans of Ace o Nerae! or other sports manga/anime about those ever burning bonds between young teammates.

Borscht Rating

Gloomy, the Naughty Grizzly

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The Lowdown:

Pitty lives with his pet Gloomy, a massive pink bear. Can a boy and a bear truly get along?

Our Thoughts:

This is a series of minute-long gag episodes in which Gloomy mauls Pitty and blood squirts everywhere. It's definitely meant to be a morbid parody of Sanrio or San-X; it might be a Rilakkuma parody in particular? Gloomy is the kind of thing you might laugh at if it came on in between shows, but it's pretty slight to go through the trouble of putting on.

Who It's For:

Gag anime fans with one minute to spare.

Borscht Rating:

Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway

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The Lowdown

After a night of drinking in Tokyo, slovenly salaryman Yoshida encounters a teenage runaway sitting under a lamppost. She offers to sleep with him in return for letting her spend the night in his apartment. Yoshida refuses her offer but allows her to stay. The next morning the girl, Sayu, reveals she's travelled all the way from Hokkaido, sleeping with random men in return for lodging and money. Feeling responsible for her safety, Yoshida agrees for Sayu to stay indefinitely in return for handling household chores.

Our Thoughts

This is kind of the inverse of Koikimo (see below), but without a scumbag character and from a male perspective. It's not nearly as nauseating as that show, but it's still a fantasy about living with a busty teenage girl.

Who It's For

Libertarians.

Borscht Rating

I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level

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The Lowdown: 

Office lady Aizawa Azusa dies of overwork in her early 20s, and finds herself standing before a lecherous goddess. Allowed a wish as compensation for her untimely demise, Azusa wishes for an endless life of leisure. The goddess reincarnates her as a 17-year-old immortal witch in an RPG-coded fantasy world. Thrilled, Azusa lazes about, brewing potions for her neighbouring villagers, and kills a small amount of slimes each day to supplement her income. After doing this every day for 300 years, she inadvertently finds herself at Level 99. Her peaceful life is soon upended as adventurers and dragons come from miles around to challenge the legendary witch.

Our Thoughts:

I'm not really an isekai fan, and that goes double for series which aren't set in an RPG, yet use RPG mechanics. Levelling up, grinding stats, min-maxing, as if it's a part of the fabric of the setting. I don't get it. I like watching numbers go up as much as the next dork, but I don't need to watch numbers go up in absolutely every piece of media I consume. Just play a fucking video game, Jesus Christ almighty.

I thought this might be setting up a fun series in which a layabout is reluctantly called upon to undertake a dangerous quest, but I don't think that's what's going on at all. When the red dragon Laika wrecks Azusa's house, she transforms into a cute young girl and the two begin living together, teaching each other the pros and cons of hard work and slothfulness respectively. The trajectory of the series might be as laid back as its protagonist in the end, which, ultimately, would be fitting.

Who It's For:

Isekai fans, slice-of-life fans. The twain have met!

Borscht Rating:

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood

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The Lowdown

In alternative history Japan the Meiji Period continued well into the 1930s, and the ongoing Tokugawa Shogunate has brought technological prosperity to the nation through a magical energy source called the Dragon's Vein. Sawa Yukimura runs a bookshop where she lives with her little sister by day, but by night she's an assassin for Nue, the shogunate's secret police. As the terrorist group Kuchinawa deploys transforming beasts in an attempt to topple the shogunate, Nue springs into action with their own abilities.

Our Thoughts

There are a lot of concepts competing here, and a few too many flashy transformation sequences for my taste, but I'm really into it! Nue are made up of sex workers and street musicians, often overlooked and therefore easily able to blend in. There's a supernatural Standalone Complex vibe to how the team operates, and they're almost assuredly on the wrong side. Worth a shot!

Who It's For

Fans of alternate history science fiction, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Demon Slayer.

Borscht Rating

Koikimo: Koi to Yobu ni wa Kimochi Warui ("It's Disgusting to Call This Love")

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The Lowdown

Amakusa Ryo is a womanizing salaryman concerned with nothing but his own base desires. As he slips on the train station stairs one morning, he's saved by the swift action of Arima Ichika, a kind-hearted high schooler. When it turns out Ichika is friends with Ryo's younger sister Riou, he decides she's his soulmate, and begins to pursue her no matter how many times she refuses him. Comedy ensues!

Our Thoughts

Yeah, OK groomer.

Alright look, Korikimo is written by a woman and told from Ichika's perspective, so this is obviously meant to be a lighthearted "older man" shoujou romance. As an older man, all I saw were the adventures of a paedophile and the teenager he's stalking. Fuck off.

Who it's For

There's probably other stuff like this, right? If you like that, here you go.

Borscht Rating

Let's Make a Mug, Too

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The Lowdown

After the death of her mother, Himeno and her father relocate from bustling Tokyo to quiet Tajimi City in Gifu Prefecture. The former salaryman opens a quiet cafe using the remarkable mugs made by his late wife, while Himeno follows in her mother's footsteps and joins the school pottery club. Although her first project ends in disaster, Himeno makes fast friends with the eccentric pottery enthusiasts who make up the club.

Our Thoughts

It's no Eizouken, but I guess it's probably not meant to be. I'm not a big iyashikei genre fan, but if that's your thing, you might enjoy the wholesome non-adventures of three girls trying to make a mug. It's worth noting these episodes are only about 12 minutes long, with the remaining runtime segmented into live action episodes where the voice actresses tour Tajimi and unconvincingly pretend to be interested in Gifu's famous mino-yaki pottery. I think this must be a tie-in with a local tourist board. 

Who It's For

People who enjoy stuff like Aria, actually.

Borscht Rating

OddTaxi

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The Lowdown

In a Tokyo populated by anthropomorphic animals, a solemn walrus named Odokawa spends his nights driving his cab around the bustling metropolis, spending his free time drinking with his pals. Odokawa soon finds his quiet life disrupted by a caper involving a missing girl, some crooked cops, and the animal yakuza. 

Our Thoughts

A deft blend of working class slice-of-life with mystery, cute animals, and striking visual design. OddTaxi might be the sleeper hit of Spring 2021.

Who It's For

Fans of existentialist film noir with absurdist comedy, Polar Bear Cafe, walrus lovers.

Borscht Rating

Osamake: Romcom Where The Childhood Friend Won't Lose

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The Lowdown

Suehiro Maruo Sueharu Maru has his heart set on Shirokusa Kachi, the hottest girl in school. When she begins dating a young actor, Sueharu confides in his childhood friend Kuroha Shida, who's openly in love with him and he rejected in the past. Kuroha suggests the two get revenge on Shirokusa by pretending to be in love. Will Sueharu fall in love with Kuroha for real, making her dreams come true?

Our Thoughts

Give me a fucking break.

Who It's For

I don't know and I don't care.

Borscht Rating

SD Gundam World Heroes

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The Lowdown

The newest instalment of the SD Gundam media-mix franchise. In a world populated by super deform mecha, a burning meteor lands in the middle of Captain City. From it launches a terrible mechanized beast: Naughty Lion. When the police are powerless to stop it, a crack team led by Zhuge Liang Gundam and Liu Bei Gundam sorties to bring Naughty Lion to justice. When the beast stops rampaging, it transforms into Sun Wukong Gundam, a youthful amnesiac mecha horrified at the destruction he wrought. The Three Kingdoms Gundams welcome Sun Wukong into the fold to make sense of this mysterious event.

Our Thoughts

I'm an 80s kid, I know a 30-minute toy commercial when I see one.

No, seriously though, I'm aware of SD Gundam's merchandising—they're cute designs, and I even used to have a bunch of the gum rubber mini figurines. I've played the SD Great War Super Famicom games, they're fun! This is a vehicle to get kids hyped up about the latest toys, which are...based on  a hodgepodge of Journey to the West and Romance of the Three Kingdoms this year? There's even a little SD Guan Yu Gundam with a big long beard!

I kinda wanted to like the idea of a bearded robot, but the mechas are super busy and overdesigned. I guess there's only so much you can do to make your next series of toys bigger and better, so these guys are all decked out in gold accents, capes, horns, and antlers, and half the time I couldn't parse what I was seeing.

I'm so glad I don't have to watch any more of this. 

Who It's For

Very, *very* young mecha fans.

Borscht Rating

Seven Knights Revolution: Hero Successor

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The Lowdown

Long ago, the Dark God Nestra ruled the world through fear. Standing against him were the Seven Knights, seven brave warriors chosen by the Light Goddess Serrass. With their powers combined, Nestra was defeated and the lands returned to peace. Hundreds of years later the wicked Physis Cult seeks to revive Nestra, summoning undead beasts to ravage the countryside. With the Seven Knights long dead, the Granseed Academy has risen to train the next wave of heroes to combat this threat. Using special cards, the students of Granseed are able to call upon the power of the Seven Knights to guide them in battle.

Our Thoughts

As soon as the opening started with its transforming heroes and lovingly depicted weapon cards, I realised this must be based on a mobile game. Indeed, this is based on a free-to-play gacha from Korean developer Netmarble. Even before I was able to confirm this, Hero Successor failed to draw me in, eschewing details on the nature of its world in lieu of a glamourised marketing push for its source material. What's here is incredibly slight, and likely to be of little interest to anyone who isn't deep into this game.

Who It's For

Seven Knights whales, I guess.

Borscht Rating

Those Snow White Notes

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The Lowdown

Sawamura Setsu mourns the death of his grandfather Matsugorou, a talented shamisen player who refused to pass his secrets on. Not knowing what else to do, he leaves his remote village for Tokyo, taking nothing but his shamisen along with him. Soon he finds himself wrapped up in the complicated life of aspiring actress Yuna and her scuzzy rockstar boyfriend Taketo. When Setsu opens for Taketo's band, he stuns the audience with the raw emotion of his playing. However, his heart is still tumultuous. 

Our Thoughts

An entertaining first episode of a speciality music series, which is the kind of thing I have a place in my heart for. I couldn't shake the feeling of some latent misogyny that suggested the role of a woman is to inspire a tortured artist, but I might be wrong. The final few minutes take a twist by introducing Setsu's weird, horny mother who seems to have her own personal SWAT team, and it looks like the series becomes a more conventional high school anime from episode 2 onwards. Don't know about that!

Who It's For

Fans of Kids on the Slope, Sound of the Sky.

Borscht Rating

Tokyo Revengers

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The Lowdown

Former delinquent Takemichi is unsatisfied with the way his life turned out, living alone in a paper-thin apartment and working a minimum wage job under a boss who doesn't respect him. When watching the news one evening, he learns that his highschool sweetheart Hinata was killed, alongside her little brother. On the way to work the next morning, Takemichi falls in front of an oncoming train and wakes up 12 years in the past. Armed with foreknowledge, he attempts to turn his life around and save his onetime lover.

Our Thoughts

This is drawing from a lot of sources; the whole train sequence is lifted straight from Gantz, while the story itself initially seems like a Life on Mars kind of deal. In fact, Tokyo Revengers sees Takemichi jump back and forth between the present and the past, seemingly making small changes until he achieves his desired outcome. It feels like a very video gamey depiction of time travel, and one that's not super interesting.

Who It's For

Steins;Gate fans, maybe? Delinquent manga (Shonan Junai Gumi, Crows, etc.) fans, maybe? It's pretty self-serious compared to any of those.

Borscht Rating

To Your Eternity

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The Lowdown

An immortal being in the form of an orb falls to earth and becomes a stone. Years pass, an ice age sets in, and a white wolf stumbles onto the tundra and dies. The orb, able to take the form of anything that leaves a strong impression on it, transforms into the wolf and slowly learns how to use its newfound ambulatory body. The creature treks back through the tundra where it meets a boy living alone, after the rest of his village left in search of a better life. The boy recognises the wolf as his beloved pet, Johann, and the two begin living together in the harsh, lonely wastes.

Our Thoughts

I'm being a little coy with the synopsis here, and there's a major shake-up at the end of this debut episode. This one's based on a manga by the critically acclaimed Yoshitoki Ooima (A Silent Voice), and it's a depressing, compelling, and exciting start to a series. Lots of potential here!

Who It's For

Fans of NieR, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, Last Exile, Kino's Journey.

Borscht Rating

So, there you have it. I'm hoping this will be of use to anyone who experiences a similar sense of dread when faced with so many choices. Maybe we’ll do this again during the Summer 2021 anime season.

Also, please don't get mad at me if I'm snarky about your new favourite show! It’s just TV and I'm a big idiot anyway.

[firemanwhenthefloodsrollback]

Who Saved The Day? Season 3

Evening all. I'm back with the third instalment of my series Who Saved The Day? looking at who, numerically, saved the day the most times in buffy the vampire slayer. At the end of season two we left the totals at:

Buffy: 23

Angel: 3

Giles: 3

Chris: 1

Kendra: 1

Sid: 1

Willow: 1

Xander: 1

as we go deeper through the seasons we'll be getting deeper, darker and more morally complex, becoming more and more of an ensemble show and introducing more characters so without further ado, let's see where we end up in season three.

1. Anne: Lily

Buffy literally brings hope and the idea of rebellion to Hell in this episode and teaches Lily that it's possible to keep living - she clearly does lots. But Lily gathers the strength to push Ken onto the concrete mid-speech and literally deprive the hell dimension of its demon. Four for you lily, you go lily.

2. Dead Man's Party: Buffy

Clearly, definitely Buffy. In the midst of being treated like crap, frankly, by the people who are meant to love her, Buffy still finds the time to put a shovel in the eyes of a mask demon.

3. Faith, Hope & Trick: Faith

Faith gets the point in her very first episode - I'd expect nothing less from you babe. Yes Buffy did a lot, and Faith is certainly emotionally all over the place, but she puts a large piece of architecture through Kakistos' chest.

4. Beauty And The Beasts: Angel

I'm far from an Angel stan but arriving looking more monster than man, saving the day when no one believed he still had it in him to even recognise buffy, then falling to his knees and calling her by her name is a hell of an ending.

5. Homecoming: Cordelia

Am I biased by wanting Cordelia to have this point? Yes, yes I am. But her speech to Lyle about why she's so threatening he needs to escape when Buffy is knocked out absolutely does save them and she deserves a hell of a lot for that.

6. Band Candy: Buffy

Buffy certainly burns that demon. This isn't an episode that makes me think of danger or fighting though, this is an episode that makes me think of Snyder partying at the bronze and Giles and Joyce having sex on the hood of a police car. So really they won. But technically Buffy incinerated someone.

7. Revelations: Buffy

Buffy and Faith work so well as a team here but only one person can have the point, and Buffy does a good job cutting off that arm. (Fun fact: this is the second episode where Buffy edges the point by stealing an arm!)

8. Lovers Walk: Oz

Oz? This isn't an episode in which the day got saved really, both because the villain was a drunk man feeling his feelings and because it didn't end great. But Oz finding Willow and Xander using his wolf senses probably counts?

9. The Wish: Giles

"Because it has to be." One of Giles' absolute finest moments, gives me such incredible chills.

10. Amends: Buffy

Really it's the deus ex machina of the snow and the powers that be that gets us out of this one, but every episode someone has to get the point, and Buffy's speech gets it.

11. Gingerbread: Buffy

Cordelia gets a lot of points here, but Buffy actually stabs the demon with a wooden stake that she is literally tied to so I couldn't deny Buffy.

12. Helpless: Buffy

Buffy has an awful lot of wins here - it is her show after all - but this is one of my all time favourites and a flawless reminder of why she's one of the all time great heroines. Outsmarting the vampire in her dungarees while terrified with no powers at all is why she is the love of my life.

13. The Zeppo: Xander

"I like the quiet." I know we all have a lot of feelings about Xander in the twenty first century - I do too - but there is no arguing with his speech at the end of the Zeppo.

14. Bad Girls: Buffy

Well she does electrocute that vampire. I think this is Buffy's second electrocution point of the show? It's not an episode that we come away from feeling like we won much though really is it

15. Consequences: Faith

It is firmly Faith that deserves the point by staking Mr Trick. of course, she does go on to make a lot of things much worse in like the next scene when she teams up with the mayor but that's not the point here in this episodes

16. Doppelgangland: Anya

I guess? She very much did cause this issue. But then she solved this issue. So sorta.

17. Enemies: Angel

A lot of people made a very good case for getting the point here. Giles makes the whole plan able to happen, Buffy and Angel actually do the plan, and Buffy fights Faith at the end. But I'm gonna say that as the entire plan hinged on Angel and he did the bulk of the acting job, and the whole thing hinged around him being the main plan guy, it's his point.

18. Earshot: Buffy

Xander discovers the lunch lady's evil plan, but then Buffy whacks her on the head, so it's Buffy's point.

19. Choices: Willow

This was a very ensemble episode and of all the episodes I've done so far, this very much made me feel like insisting on choosing one character per episode doesn't always work. But I had to pick one, and Willow escaped the room she was being held in to rip pages from the books of ascension. The evil beetles were kinda a team effort so I don't know who got the point for dealing with them?

20. The Prom: Buffy

Buffy dealt with the hellhounds and also with issues relating to the end of your first teenage relationship. A double win.

21. Graduation Day 1: Buffy

First parts of two parters are hard guys. Buffy stabs Faith so - I guess? It doesn't help much and it certainly doesn't save the day. But I committed to picking so ???

22. Graduation Day 2: Buffy

A much more straightforward equation. Explode the snake.

So in season 3 we had a much lower proportion of Buffy wins compared to the first few seasons but still, obviously, a lot - I think reflecting the show becoming more of an ensemble cast and letting supporting characters shine more. We also had our second arm-theft victory for Buffy, which is not a connection I would ever have made if I hadn't started writing this series of posts. Who knew. If you think I've got anything wrong please do let me know!

At the end of Season 3 our leaderboard is:

Buffy: 32

Angel: 5

Giles: 4

Faith: 2

Willow: 2

Xander: 2

Anya: 1

Chris: 1

Cordelia: 1

Kendra: 1

Lily: 1

Oz: 1

Sid: 1

If you'd like to read the rest of the series you can find them here!

Intro post, Season 1, Season 2, Season 4, Season 5, Season 6, Season 7

[ihatetaxes99]

A Brief Retrospective Look At MVA (In The Anime)

Well. Here we are. Every end of the time is another begun. After what has felt like years of anticipation (mostly because it actually has been years), My Villain Academia has been fully animated. Well, "fully" may be the wrong word here, but that's something I'll get into later.

To honour the end of the arc, I decided to do two things: One, I re-read the entirety of the arc in the manga all in one sitting; Two, I rewatched all five episodes of the anime's adaptation back to back once again. My life is pain and I know not of sleep. Anyway, the reason I did this is because of a little project I proposed to myself back just before the first episode aired; Once MVA was done and dusted, I would go back and give my own retrospective on the whole thing. Because why the hell not, sounds like fun. This will also hopefully be less emotional than my thoughts I shared as the episodes were still airing, but who knows?

So, let's begin. And I wish to start by stating that My Villain Academia is my absolute favourite arc in the manga. It did a lot of things right. It focused entirely on my favourite faction, the villains. It offers a glimpse into their lives and goes a long way in humanising them, particularly Spinner and Shigaraki. It sets up key points for others too, such as Mr. Compress' habit of thinking more about the bigger picture than the others, which would factor into his major reveal during the Paranormal Liberation War and of course the formation of the Front itself. It introduced us to Rikiya Yotsubashi, one of my favourite characters in the manga, even if he honestly peaked in this arc and was never as good again. And it gave us a large-scale, grueling fight for supremacy in which I found myself actively rooting for the League. It is, in my mind, the very best of BNHA, the only arc I would want them to do well in the anime. They could screw up literally everything else and I would be happy if MVA was even just as good as the manga, it didn't even need to be better. I would have been delighted to have an excuse to experience the arc all over again, seeing my favourite moments with the sublime soundtrack and voice acting.

Yeah… 

But before I get to that, let us take a little trip of sorts down memory lane to see the road to MVA, what led to it. So, 2021 rolls around. What a fun year. It's just 2020 without the excitement of everything being so uncertain, and frankly it's been really fucking boring as a year. However, BNHA Season Five was announced. In February, we get the first trailer for the upcoming season. It's... It's fine. Obviously, it focuses heavily on the Joint Training Arc (in fact, that is all it shows) and although I despise that arc with a passion, it's not too bad. I had not watched the anime since Overhaul ended, so my plan was I just wouldn't watch JTA and would wait until the big attraction, MVA. And so, Joint Training starts. And it goes on. And on. And on. I checked back almost two months later to discover it still wasn't over yet. Now I found this odd. Joint Training Arc was horrible for many reasons, but the big one was that it dragged on for so long as a result of Horikoshi's health complications, which is by no means his fault. But, surely the anime, which would consistently release on a weekly basis, wouldn't have the issues associated with this. Episodes of BNHA have always encompassed around three to five chapters, and Joint Training's were shorter than usual, so why was it taking more than ten episodes to adapt it? 

Very strange, but I didn't question it much. Then, the key visuals released, confirming that MVA was at the very least happening. Great, wonderful. I love it. We've got the whole gang there, seeming like they're in Deika, looks pretty good.

Wait, did I say whole gang? Yeah, my bad, there was someone missing. Spinner. Now, I am not the biggest Spinner fan so I wasn't prepared to riot over his exclusion like I would have been if Compress wasn't in it. But this was starting to get strange. Spinner was the main narrator of MVA. Even if his importance was not on the level of Shigaraki, Twice and Toga, it was certainly more than Dabi and Compress, who did both appear in the art. Why was he excluded? Obviously, I bet you're all having a good old chuckle to yourselves right now because in retrospect, this makes perfect sense now.

Alright, then. I heard from a friend around June time that Joint Training was finally over. Awesome, great, time for the good stuff- why is there a Christmas episode here?

Yes, this was probably what really started to get the alarm bells in my mind going. The Christmas episode- in June. Very, very strange. Also, absolutely no mention of Rikiya, which even if they were reshuffling things, I would have expected him to appear in the episode of Bakugo and Todoroki getting their licenses, since it directly ties in. Concern levels rising, I shrugged it off and waited for next week.

Bam. Major reshuffling. Now, Endeavour Agency comes first, fuck you if you want context for who the hell the PLF are or the significance of Destro's memoirs. This was really starting to worry me now. I told myself that the key visual meant that MVA had to be happening, but it was starting to seem like the villains were being shafted. A fact not helped by the new OP.

Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to complain or whine, but season five's second OP is just bad. The music is fine, I have no problem there. But the visuals are just awful. Not only is there an extended focus on that stupid bloody trio of Midoriya, Bakugo and Todoroki, not only is there more screentime given to characters who don't appear in MVA or EA than the main cast of the former, but the animation itself is just so stiff and lacking. It had potential, but the visuals are the worst out of any recent anime opening I've seen in a good few years and this was what got me really panicking.

Boom, a beach episode smack in the middle of Endeavour Agency to promote the upcoming movie. Boom, adapting two chapters per episode during EA. Boom, the Shirakumo episode, which I always thought was part of the War Arc and not EA. But finally, mercifully, the title leaks came and it was revealed that episode 20 of season five would be the start of MVA.

20. Out of 25. And it was pretty obvious that they weren't going to end the season with MVA, so really, up to 24. Ohhh no…

But hey, I'm an optimist sometimes. I was excited to just finally be clear of all this nonsense and get to the real good stuff. Hell, in preparation, I watched the entirety of the season up to that point. I finally realised why JTA took so long and it's one of the most depressing things I've ever learned, in a bad way. Were all those flashbacks really necessary? EA was okay, as someone who as a manga reader, already had the necessary context for the PLF stuff. The beach episode, I watched half of, got too bored and skipped the rest of. And you know what, I liked the Shirakumo chapters. They weren't as good in the anime, but it was nice to see.

And then, finally, in comes episode one of My Villain Academia, on a cold, dark August morning. I even bought Crunchyroll Premium to watch it as soon as possible, I was excited. All the messing around, all the crap, it was finally over and the time had come to enjoy what this season was really all about.

I can now safely say why Bones kept pushing back MVA, because if I was them, I would be embarrassed to show this.

No, that's not fair. I promised I wouldn't get too snarky, so let's reek things back in. As a whole, MVA has been… fine. Just fine. Not good enough to justify the bullshit, but not horrendous (mostly.) In fact, right now, I'll give a ranking of the episodes, my worst to best:

5) Episode One 

4) Episode Two

3) Episode Three

2) Episode Five

1) Episode Four

Yeah. So, there's a clear pattern here, that things more or less got better as time went on. From just straight up bad, to still not great, to alright, to the final two episodes being what I would comfortably call good. This is not a good look. I'm sorry, but Episode One, an episode that I just called bad, is still one of the season's best in spite of that. That spells out awful things for this season as a whole. But what exactly made this such a disaster?

Well, cut content is the big thing. MVA in the anime cuts out:

The League's battle with the CRC

Their struggle with poverty

The sushi joke setup

All of Spinner's character

All of Rikiya's character, including most mentions of Detnerat and Miyashita

Fairly integral pieces of Skeptic's character

Most of Giran's integrity and bravery

This doesn't look too bad at first. It could be far worse. We got basically everything else from the arc, so what? Well, I would already be annoyed about all of these cuts, but the issue is that they cause a knock on effect. Without the establishment of the League's poverty, the payoff of Toga's duffle coat now makes no sense. Without the setup of Spinner's characterisation, his battle with Hanabata now feels hollow. Rikiya's surrender to the League now makes even less sense, as his love of human life and desire to cause no more death is completely non-existent. The first time Rikiya being a CEO is mentioned is in the closing minutes of the arc. The sushi scene is hamfisted into a two second flashback just so that the payoff makes some sort of sense, but again, it is hollow without it being at the start (this is also the first mention of the League's poverty and it literally happens just as they are freed from it.) Can you see how these little seemingly unimportant cuts spiral into bigger problems? I would have been pissed even if they hadn't caused some tremendous cascades, but the fact that they did just makes this from a subjective issue to an objective one.

Yes. They did some things well. Toga's backstory is mostly intact, SMP is just as satisfying as the manga, Tenko's backstory is one of the best things the anime has ever done, the awakening is very well done, I adore the PLF formation as much as I did in the manga. Everything important is intact, but as I keep saying, you cannot just keep the bare minimum and expect it to work. How about in the next arc, they decide to cut everything involving Bakugo out, and only keep him jumping in front of Midoriya because it's the only absolutely necessary thing he does in the arc? People would be pissed, and it's the same thing that's happening here. It's a problem, it's not just a bad adaptation, it leads to bad storytelling in general.

The animation. Now, I do not believe this is a be all, end all. BNHA's anime is never going to look as gorgeous as Horikoshi's art, that is a fact and I do not begrudge them for that. They have a week to draw hundreds upon hundreds of frames, it's not a process that lends itself well to good looks and the animators and artists do their best with what they have. This does not change the fact that it is extremely hit or miss. Some things, Tenko's backstory in particular, look fantastic. Other things, mostly every action scene, make me laugh at how bad they can look and some things, particularly Twice and Re-Destro's hideous designs in the anime, make me cringe. The lighting is also an issue. Garaki's lab looked fantastic, but every other scene is just boring mid-afternoon with dull, basic lighting. I don't expect huge detail, but sometimes, it fails to achieve competency and as an extremely popular show, I don't think that's okay. I don't blame the animators, I blame the higher ups. And while I wouldn't mind the poor animation and art in an MVA that at least has all the story content, this does not have that and so I am even harsher than I would have been.

MVA was rushed. That's not up for debate. It took forever to get to it and once it came, things moved so quickly that they gave me whiplash, with no time to think or lament. Now, this could be attributed to the story structure of the arc, which is essentially a series of big fights, and it just isn't as bad in the manga because I can stop at any time to catch my breath. But I think it's worth noting that the anime at least highlights these issues. Curious dies in the same episode where she first appears, really driving home how pointless she was in the end. Episode Two alone tries to cover everything from the journey to Deika up until Jin finding Toga's body. That's a lot of content to fit in one twenty minute period and it was bound to feel messy in the end. I will say that, much like everything aside from the animation, this did get better as time went on, with episodes three, four and five adapting more reasonable amounts of content, compared to one giving us almost nothing and two giving us too much.

At the end of the day, that was it. The show's over. MVA has been closed in the anime. It will never be given a chance to improve, to go from just fine to anything even close to the manga. Why did this happen? I don't think we'll ever truly know. Some blame the new movie, others the studio's lack of faith in the villains, and there are those who say that it's just how fate turned out. I personally think it's a combination of all of these things. Without the movie, that beach episode wouldn't exist, giving more time to MVA, without the studio's hesitation, we'd perhaps get stuff like an actual good OP and perhaps some more general hype for it (I mean, MVA didn't even get a trailer.) Whatever the reason is, we got what we got. My verdict is something that's very overplayed as of late, but seriously, just read the manga with the fantastic soundtrack playing in the background. The anime's adaptation of MVA is not worth the time investment, when you could read the manga in roughly the same length of time and get more content, a more coherent plot and beautiful artwork.

So, what may come next for Season Six? I don't know. Season Five has definitely been one of the most unpopular seasons in the anime, with a lot of people speaking out against it, but this mostly seems to come from the Western fanbase, so it's up in the air if Bones will learn from their mistakes. Since they'll have a full season to do presumably the War and Rouge Deku arcs, then I feel like they'll put on a better show. But we just don't know. Spinner had his spotlight stolen this time around, will Compress suffer the same fate in Season Six? Dabi and Toga will probably be handled well, since they have inexplicably high amounts of popularity, but with his own lack of recognition rivalling Spinner's, I can see Sako ending up much the same way. Time will tell, I suppose.

[zatyrlucy]

Hi guys I have good and bad news. The bad one is that Dave’s Q&A on Twitch wasn’t recorded and I didn’t watch it so there won’t be a list about it :(  Good news is that Viv gave an interview few days ago. Its more about the making than the content of the shows but I hope you like it anyway. Enjoy.    

1.       It took 4-5 months to do the pilot of Helluva Boss

2.       The latinoamerican team behind Helluva was selected because they already had experience working together, making good quality content and working fast.

3.       The team of animators are part-time so they come and go as will in the projects.

4.       It is planned to do 7 new episodes of Helluva Boss.

5.       Each Helluva episode will be a different adventure in different scenarios because the imps can travel around the world

6.       For Helluva there is (approximately) 10 background artists, 5 character designers and 15 clean up artists. (min 12:23)

7.        Viv and other artist does main composition.  

8.       Viv calculates around 40-50 people in total that help in the making of Helluva Boss (min 13:45)

9.       The team was bigger for Hazbin Hotel  

10.   The budget for Hazbin was: Patreon (new and old accounts), her freelance jobs, her personal savings (since high school, including graduation gifts) and sales.  (min 16:00)

11.   The money of the sales and patreon goes to different projects, not only Hazbin

12.   Viv asked for help and suggestions to different studios and freelance artists to know how they managed to create big projects with crowdfunding

13.   Every single penny of the sales goes to the projects

14.   The zoophobia short is expected to be finished in summer

15.   Hazbin’s episodes are planned to be 22 min long, so it’s needed a lot of budging and help because even if Viv and her team try to make the first season as fast as they can it would take a year per episode. So that’s why Viv is looking for a better way to produce the show.

16.   Helluva has a shorter story and narrative than Hazbin plus is easier to produce and release, that’s why it was decided to be the show to be continued on youtube.

17.   Viv knows the demons of her series don’t have this cliché look of red body with tail and big horns. That’s because, according to her, demons are supposed to look different from each other and because her characters are based in different religions and myths, not the typical image that everyone has of hell.

18.   Viv likes her characters to be animals because they can be appealing, a good story teller device and easy to be included in any level of drama, like Zootopia or BoJack Horseman.  

19.   Different shows, artists, entertainment companies and movies inspired Viv while growing

up, like for example in the design of her characters (Tim burton, Invader Zim), appealing (Disney) and cartoon characters doing adult stuff (Who framed roger rabbit).

20.   Ed Bosco, the voice actor of Alastor, also did the voice of Lucifer in the “Son of 666” short.

21.   Viv won The Dusty Award and was gave to her by Ralph Bakshi

22.   Viv worked as an artist for a studio owned by Dreamworks in a short called “Too loud”

23.   Zoophobia is Viv’s webcomic when she was in college. She likes to call it her “childhood comic” because she did it while she was growing up as a story teller and artist. That’s the same reason why she says is messy.  

24.   If she ever has the chance to continue the comic she would reboot it instead.

25.   Zoohpobia was the start of everything. Thanks to that comic Viv learned to tell stories better and it was the origin of other series too, like Hazbin.

26.   When Viv got very busy in the school of animation in New York doing her thesis project she lost passion for the comic.  

27.   If Viv would do a reboot she wouldn’t change the characters and their personalities much, only the story because she is now a better story teller than she was in college.  

[centrally-unplanned]

(Spoilers ahead) Partner and I finished Season 2 of the Fruits Basket modern remake this weekend. I had only seen the, uh, 2001 original anime (2001? It was 20 years ago? Fuck), with no exposure to the manga, so a lot of the plot elements were new to me. I liked a lot of the show, but I have some big complaints about it handles its villain, Akito:

1: Akito occupies a very awkward place in this story. He (don’t worry, ill get to that) is the head of the main crew’s family and constantly inflicts abuse on all of its members, and is therefore the source of conflict for the plot, both in past trauma and present attempts as control and gaslighting.

Okay, so stories often have to walk a tightrope with abusive characters like this. Stories are normally pushed along and resolved internally - the main cast is going to experience the pain and drama, and fix it themselves, because that is the arc. For many plots that is easy, but if the story revolves around an abusive sibling/parent figure like Fruits Basket does, you will always be asking yourself the question “uh, why doesn’t anyone call the cops? or why don’t they just leave?” There is a tension between realism in the setting and the needs of the plot.

You can in fact resolve this tension in a lot of ways. If the abuse is primarily mental, slowly building, inflicted out of sight of responsible parties, etc, you can make this work. Lots of people don’t report abuse to authorities, or just move out of their house, but instead deal with it due to it being normalized. Other ways include making the characters teenagers - they don’t think of the world as having authorities outside of family (or school) and its much harder for them to reach outside of that bubble - the classic highschool bully problem. So Akito can work if he is subtle, slowly ramps, and controls his surroundings to hide his abuse from relevant authorities.

Anyway here is Akito pushing a 17 year old girl out of a two story window shattering her back and hospitalizing her for months:

And here he is threatening a 17 year old boy with life confinement in a literal cage unless he, uh, wins a duel with his cousin?

These are the worst moments but they are far from alone. This person is a raving lunatic, which fair enough that the 17 year olds don’t know how to handle that, but Akito himself is no older than 20. And the cast of characters who know everything that is going on includes:

-27 year old *published author* Shigure, who directly cares for both Akito and two of his abuse victims

-27 year old completely-independent business owner, Ayame, who is the *brother* of one of the abuse victims

-27 year old licensed medical doctor Hatori, who lives with and is the physician of Akito.

Hatori is violating every ethical obligation of his profession on the daily, dude is stone cold! This again could work if these characters were bad guys, but they aren’t - they are sympathetic protagonists or in Aya’s case even comic relief! The show wants you to think they are doing their best, Shigure even has a secret “plan” to deal with Akito that he has been planning for *years* and they all have "reasons” why they feel stuck due to the Zodiac curse yadda yadda. But you have to memory hole the fact that they are functioning adults in 21st century Japan, because otherwise Shigure and Hatori in particular reach levels of negligence to the children they care for that it tips right on over into being evil itself. 

These kids go to public school, guys!

Now I know what any defender would say - “its the curse!” The whole cast carries the curse of the Zodiac where God invited them in long-ago times to a dinner, Akito is the current manifestation of that God in some form, and so they are bound to him to enact that “dinner” metaphorically in some way by staying by his side (also they transform into their respective Zodiac animals when chest-on-chest contact occur from the opposite sex, because Anime). Again, you can make this work! Show Akito exerting a magical force on characters who stray too far from him, or a compulsion locking them to being forever near the Sohma estate where he lives. Something showing that yeah, the relevant authorities could not handle this and dragging Akito away in chains won’t work. But sadly the show just...doesn’t bother. There is a “curse” but we are two seasons in and any negative consequences of the curse beyond Akito Being An Asshole are Footage Not Found (Kyo is an exception, but not a relevant one), despite everyone pretending like there is. Everyone wants to break the curse? Fine, kill Akito. Then you all get to live in peace and transform into adorable animals when you’d like, curse broken. Just throw “doesn’t cuddle or do missionary position” on your OkCupid profile to make your love life work, no one is gonna bat an eye, and some people will be, lets say, readily down with your particular transformation fetish.

None of this is fatal to the show per se, you can suspend disbelief. But the show takes itself so seriously that you can’t help but think these thoughts, and it colors in particular how the older characters act. And it would be so easy to fix! They just didn’t bother.

2: Can someone explain to me, in the year of our Zodiac Lord 2021, how a character secretly being a girl is a “surprise reveal” worth ending a season on? The final shot of Season 2 is that our resident asshole Akito has some female-presenting nipples, which is apparently a Big Deal? (maybe the show takes place on Tumblr, *zing*) Its the villain, they are an abusive maniac and also metaphorically/actually a divine being. Why does doubling their X chromosome count affect or change anything? I can envision plots where that is relevant, but this was not one! Maybe the next season will build that into the arc, but they haven’t done that yet, so the moment itself falls incredibly flat.

Yet people obviously feel differently from me - as is my habit I checked the reddit threads for the final episode and they are replete with people commenting on how shocking a twist it was, how they looked forward to it as manga readers, etc. Its a classic suspense trick I think, of how you can just have an event be surprising without it being thematically relevant, and it will work as long as you add the right drama bells around it. This was just a pretty egregious example of it. 

-----

Between these problems, Fruits Basket has this aura of laziness around its none-core characters that does drag it down. Which is sad since I do actually like how it treats its core cast, even if it is stretched out over twice as many episodes as it needs. I am just guessing here, but beyond just “not caring” and doing it for the drama, I think it stems out of adapting the manga “faithfully”.

So Fruits Basket got an anime adaption in 2001, and the author (Natsuki Tayaka) haaaaated it. It was only twenty six episodes, a ~third of which got consumed just introducing the zodiac cast, so its plot had to be mixed around and truncated, and it was much more comedic and zany in tone. It was still very popular, so demand for a “better” adaptation of the full manga was high, which eventually happened in 2019. This time around Tayaka insisted on a high degree of control and faithfulness - I would bet it was essentially a “shot for shot” adaptation, and I have seen manga/anime comparison compilations to that effect.

The problem lies in how manga are made - they are almost never planned out start to finish. You pitch like a chapter, it gets picked up, and then its being published in tandem to its own production. That means that its pretty rare for the ending to be thought out, and the story figures itself out as it goes. Early manga Fruits Basket is pretty zany! Which means it plays fast and loose with its worldbuilding and its adult characters act silly most of the time. Once the high drama kicks in you realize that doesn’t work anymore, but you have already published it all months ago, no way to revise it now, so you just have to bite the bullet.

An anime adaptation would be a good time to clean that up! Its what Kare Kano did - a manga that starts as a cute highschool romcom and ends in sexual assault, for the anime they tried to create tonal consistency right from the start and change plot details around accordingly. But when the author, burned by a past studio, insists on Complete Accuracy...well then the anime has to bite the same bullets the manga did. And so you get Fruits Basket (2019), a show destined to never rise above its source material.

But hey, if Season 3 ends with Tohru just whipping out a gun, shooting Akito right between the eyes, and walking off into the sunset with a harem of zodiac hotties, then all will be forgiven.

[discotreque]

LwD 1.10, “No Small Parts”

Well, that was the most fun I've had watching Star Trek in literally a quarter of a century.

I had high hopes for this series. I love TAS, largely because of its wacky outsized concepts that could only have worked in animation—not that they all did work, but the potential was so apparent to me, even as a kid reading the Alan Dean Foster novelizations—and as an adult, there's something about the imagination of Lower Decks's FX setpieces that transcends even the glorious CGI bonanzas of Discovery.

Pause for a confession. I've long pushed back against criticism of serialization in new Trek. That's just how TV is now, okay? Might as well complain about it being in widescreen. But I'm backing down a little, because I've realized there is something about Star Trek that's inextricable from at least a partially-episodic format. And while Picard was telling a different kind of story, I can't deny that my favourite episodes of Disco have been the ones with a mostly self-contained A-plot. After 10 delightfully episodic instalments of LwD, its focus on long-term development of characters instead of a season-spanning puzzle-plot (okay, mostly just Mariner, but we only have 10 × 22 minutes and she is the star) has been downright refreshing.

So here we are, at the end of the most consistent and well-executed Season 1 of a Star Trek series since, arguably, Those Old Scientists. And sure, if they'd had to produce another... yikes, 42 episodes? Then sure, they probably would have dropped a clunker or two—but they didn't, and winning on a technicality is still winning. I'm practically vibrating with excitement for Disco to come back next week, but damn, I'm going to miss this little show while it's on hiatus.

Spoilers below:

Something I've been keeping track of finally paid off this week! (Which never happens to me, lol.) The destruction of the USS Solvang marked the first present-day death(s) of any Starfleet officer on Lower Decks, the only other on-screen killing at all being a flashback in "Cupid's Errant Arrow". Which makes sense, being (a) a comedy, and (b) about typically "expendable" characters: it hasn't been afraid to flirt with a little darkness here and there, but killing people off at Star Trek's usual pace wouldn't just be wrong for the tone, it would be downright bizarre.

But... people die on Star Trek. That's one of the core themes of the show, really: space is full of knowledge and beauty, but also danger and terror, and believing that the former is worth the risk of the latter is (according to Trek) one of humanity's most noble traits. I'm the least bloodthirsty TV watcher I know, but the longer we went with a body count of nil—ships completely evacuated before they were destroyed, main characters hilariously maimed without permanent consequences, etc.—well, I didn't mind per se, but the absence of truly deadly stakes was definitely getting conspicuous.

Turns out they were saving it up for maximum impact. And holy fuck, I've never felt such a pit in my stomach watching a ship get destroyed that wasn't named Enterprise. It felt grim and brutal and somehow both much too quick and dreadfully inevitable—and yeah, it looked extremely fucking cool—and I'd like every other Star Trek property for the rest of time to take notes under a large bold heading labeled RESTRAINT.

Comedy doesn't need to do this, but my favourite comedy does, and in a way that few other art forms can even approach: lower my emotional defences by making me laugh, endear character(s) to me with goofy-but-relatable antics—then BAM, sucker-punch me in the motherfucking feels. M*A*S*H is probably the classic example on TV, Futurama was notorious for it, and even Archer has pulled it off a few times; it's also a staple of some of my favourite standup. I wasn't sure if Lower Decks was going to go there in Season 1—and wasn't sure if they'd earn it—but I knew if they did, that they'd nail it, and damn. Feels good to be right.

Last batch of notes for the season!!! I rambled enough already, so let's do it liveblog-style:

I fucking KNEW they were going to use "archive" visuals from TAS at some point, I KNEW IT :D

"THOSE OLD SCIENTISTS" ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I like chill and confident Boimler a lot? You can really see—

oh bRADWARD NOOOOO

That opening shot of the Solvang tracking down to the red giant was extremely Discovery-esque... minus the motion sickness, that is

A lady captain AND a lady first officer? That's—oh hey, it's Captain Dayton's brand-new ship. Hahaha, that means they're totally fucked, right?.

Yep! They sure a—umm, wh—shit, okay, but—oh no—no, you can't—wait DON'T

...fuck

FUCK.

Narrator: "And then Amy needed a five-hour break."

[live-action Star Trek showrunner voice] "Gee, Mike! Why does CBS let you have two cold opens?"

Okay, yes, the bit with Rutherford cycling through all the different attitudes in his implant was transparently an excuse for Eugene Cardero to vamp while waiting for something to do in the story, but as far as I'm concerned they can contrive a reason for him to do a bunch of different silly Rutherfords in a row any time they damn well want, because that was classic!!!

EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP

AND THE EXOCOMP IS PAINTED LIKE THE EXOCOMP IS WEARING A LITTLE EXOCOMP-SIZED STARFLEET UNIFORM

EXOCOMP!!!!!

The slow burn and now the payoff of the Mariner-is-Freeman's-secret-daughter plot has been executed so well. I'm beyond impressed with this writer's room, y'all—they are threading a hell of a needle here

"Wolf 359 was an inside job" would have been a spit-take if I'd had anything in my mouth

...how many memos do you think Starfleet Command has had to issue asking people to stop calling the USS Sacramento "the Sac"?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'VE DECORATED THE SHUTTLECRAFT SEQUOIA THOUGH

Is, uh, is it weird if I'm starting to ship Tendi and Peanut Hamper a little? It is weird, isn't it. I knew it was weird...

Coital barbs??? I take back everything I said about wanting to know more about Shaxs/T'Ana.

The "good officer" version of Mariner is... kind of hot, tbh! But Tawny Newsome has done such a great job of building this character all season that her voice getting uncharacteristically clipped and martial and "sir! yes, sir!" is also deeply, deeply weird

Ah, so this is literally exactly like when TNG (and DS9) would bring in, and then blow up, a never-before-seen Galaxy-class ship, just to underscore that we're facing a real threat this week, baby. And hey, it fucking worked—my heart was in my throat, omg, for the reveal of the—

PAKLEDS?????????

The fucking PAKLEDS have been gluing weapons to their ships for the last 15 years. GREAT.

(We interrupt the SHIP BEING SLICED INTO SCRAP for an interesting bit of world-building: on Earth, the traditional First Contact Day meal is salmon!)

"I need a dangerous, half-baked solution that breaks Starfleet codes and totally pisses me off! That's an order." I'm starting to think Captain Freeman might actually be overqualified for the Cerritos, y'all—she's REALLY awesome

OH SHIT IT'S BADGEY, this is a TERRIBLE IDEA

"How much contraband have you hidden on my ship?" "I don't know! A lot!"

Awwww, Boims!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA, FUCK THIS, PEANUT HAMPER OUT

BADGEY NOOOOO

AUGHHHHH WHAT THE CHRIST DID HE JUST—BUT—RUTHERFORD'S IMPLANT????

RUTHERFORD!!!!!!!!!!

SHAXS!!!!!!

F U C K ! ! ! ! !

ahaIOPugdfhagntpgjrq90e5mgu90qe5;oigoqgw4ouegrw5SP;IAEHURVa IT’S THE TITAN???????????

IT'S CAPTAIN WILLIAM T. RIKER ON THE MOTHERFUCKING TITAN??????????

i'm screaming I'M SCREAMINGGGGGG​TGGGTGQER;​LBHAOIBVNV;​OAPBIJNVagr;h;​oagruipuwtnaetbaetgq35ghqet

I'M SO GLAD THIS WASN'T SPOILED FOR ME WTF

I AM WEEPING LIKE A CHILD

...

(Just a brief 20-minute pause this time)

And oh wow, seeing Will and Deanna hits different after Picard too, in a few different ways, which I may even get into later now that my heartrate is back to normal, lmao

Oh, I am always here for some jokes at the expense of the Sovereign class. The Enterprise-E sucked. They should have built a new bigger model of the D and new Galaxy-class interiors for the TNG movies, and I will die on that hill

OKAY, FINE, YOU GOT ME, RUTHERFORD × TENDI WOULD BE ADORABLE AND THIS IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD SETUP FOR IT

Awwww, Shaxs though :( Congrats on the single most badass death in Star Trek history, dude. The Prophets would—well, the actual Prophets would probably be slightly confused about most of it, but Kira Nerys would be proud of you and I feel like that probably counts for more. RIP, Papa Bear

I am here all damn DAY for the Mariner–Riker parallels, ahahahahaha

Pausing it to record my prediction that Boimler's commitment to not caring about rank anymore is going to last 3... 2...

Yep.

Bradward, how DARE YOU.

"Those guys had a long road, getting from there to here." OH FOR THE LOVE OF—

What a brilliant way to resolve and renew the various character arcs and relationships moving into Season 2! The writers could easily have brought everything back to status quo—chaotic Mariner fighting with her mom and being a bad influence on Boimler, etc.—and done another 10 just like these, but I suspect that wouldn't have been ambitious enough for these writers. What a blast. I cannot wait for more.

Thanks for following along, friends! Stay tuned for my (similarly patchy and amateur) coverage of Discovery, starting next week!