#every day i wake up to iii tummy is a good day

[excelsior9173]

(source)

[sukunasweetheart]

spending a slow day with sukuna.

i. in the morning,

it’s been long since both of you have woken up, yet you’re still together in bed, chatting lazily with slow replies and muffled voices from speaking into your pillows. but once that morning sleepiness fades away, you start feeling a little cheeky. nuzzling into his neck, you breathe in deeply and tell him that he smells good, while holding back your laughter.

“fuck! that tickles- stop,” he says - but he is unable to halt his own chuckles.

you flop onto him, lifting his shirt up, only to blow air against the skin on his tummy, making an embarrassing noise.

“why, you!” sukuna growls, turning the tables and pinning your arms down onto the mattress, just to do it back to you. the room is soon filled with your shrill laughter - pleading him to have mercy while he’s smirking at you.

there’s visible dust flittering in the sunlight that sneaks in through the window blinds as you play wrestle with him - making a mess of the bed with wrinkled sheets and pillows plopping over onto the ground.

ii. while doing the dishes,

you stare the delicate, glossy sphere rise up from the dish soap bottle with awe.

“look, sukuna. a bubble,” you tell him, like a little child.

“hey, get your hands moving. your rinsing has slowed.” sukuna cleans up another plate and hands it over to you - accidentally popping the bubble as a result.

you gasp dramatically and pout, earning a confused look from him. but you get back to quietly rinsing the dishes soon after. sukuna gives you a little side look, before grabbing the bottle again to squeeze it lightly. it creates a large bubble - even larger than the one before.

“here. i made another one,” he says. you laugh at him endearingly and he smiles, watching as you stare at the bubble floating towards your face. it pops when it reaches your cheek.

“good lord. sometimes i forget what a big baby you are.”

you flick some water at him, and he pastes a fingerful of soap foam onto your face.

iii. when folding the laundry,

he holds up your lacy panties with a sly, wolfish grin. rolling your eyes, you launch his boxers at his face. you are unsuccessful, because sukuna just catches it with one hand. you start flinging clothes after clothes at him, until he’s sitting in a pile of freshly dried clothing.

“look at the mess you made!” he taunts, pushing the clothes back into one pile between the two of you.

“you started it.”

he chuckles and pinches your cheek - to which you swat away at.

later on, after everything was neatly folded and put into the closets and drawers, you notice from walking past the mirror how there’s a stain on your shirt. huffing, you walk over to the basket by the washing machine to take it off.

a whistle resounds behind you as soon as your shirt’s off, and a pair of arms come around your waist.

“hey there, sexy. can i take you home?” sukuna says with a flirty tone, adding a cheesy wink on top of it.

“i have a boyfriend,” you retort with feigned indignance, pushing him away.

“aw, too bad.” he lifts you onto his shoulder.

“i’ll take you regardless.” you playfully scream, flailing about, but not too much, and sukuna smirks as he brings you to the sofa.

iv. during a little nap,

you doze away softly, your body draped over his on the sofa. there’s the soft rise and fall of his chest, and the background noises from the tv can be heard as he flickers from channel to channel, looking for something interesting to watch.

the sound is comforting. he is comforting. you could sleep away for centuries like this. every now and then, you faintly feel the dense weight of his hand against your back or atop your head. it weaves you into your nap even tighter.

sukuna pulls the blanket over you higher, so that it reaches your shoulders instead of only your hips. eventually, even he ends up feeling a little drowsy. he gives in to the quiet atmosphere, and falls asleep as well - leaving the tv on unintentionally.

when the two of you wake up, the sun has already gone down completely, and there’s the familiar confusion that’s felt usually after a long nap - from the lost sense of time. when you meet eyes with his, there is simultaneous laughter.

he stretches his arms wide and completely, like a large cat. it’s coupled with a deep groan, and you feel it rumble within his chest. covering your mouth as you yawn, both of you just stay still for a couple of minutes, still feeling a bit dazed.

“i’m hungry,” sukuna suddenly breaks the silence.

“me too.”

“you feel like cooking?”

“no.”

“me neither.”

around thirty minutes later, your uber delivery arrives at the door.

v. at 3am - laying in bed together,

you turn for the fifth time on the mattress, unable to feel content in any sleeping position. sukuna does the same, but somewhat less restlessly.

when you begin staring at the ceiling, he abruptly lays onto his side, to look at you.

“we napped too much, huh?”

“seems like it,” you respond nonchalantly.

there’s another drawn out silence between him and you, until he decides to speak up again.

“you, me, we’re both wide awake. let’s go for a little walk.” he sits up.

“it’s 3am, though.”

“so what? who says we can’t take 3am walks?” he slides off the bed and begins to throw on a jacket, beckoning you.

“c’mon.”

so, here you are - out on the streets that are lathered with darkness, walking side by side with him. the air is cool, things are quiet, and there isn't anybody around. sukuna offers his hand, you accept it, and his palm seems to envelop all of your fingers completely.

"it's kinda cold," you say, shivering a little bit as you feel the next breeze hitting your skin, raising the goosebumps on it.

"yeah, i thought i told you to layer up a little more," sukuna responds with a voice that resembles the nagging of a mother. but he immediately zips down his jacket.

...except he doesn't put it on you properly. before you could slip your arms into the large sleeves, he's zipped it up while they were still bound to your sides. the sleeves fall limpy, and now you look armless.

"hey! put it on properly."

sukuna grabs onto the empty jacket sleeves and grins, pulling you towards him, using it like it was a weird leash.

"good girl," he praises mockingly, patting your head. you playfully lash out at him by slapping the jacket arm onto him with a little whap.

he comes behind you this time, bringing both sleeves with him, and then holds reign of them after he connects the two.

"giddy up?"

"my god, if you don't stop-" you tell him while laughing. after getting your arms sorted out, you send a few more slaps his way, as revenge for all the teasing.

it's safe to say that the two of you snoozed away like babies that night - after spending all that energy.

fin.

Tagging; @ry0chann @skunaskitten

Masterlist

[bitchassbucky]

.raw

Word count: 1.3k

Warning/s: this chapter is pretty tame ngl. very toxic relationship dynamics, bit spicy, references to sex, dark!bucky x dark! reader, obsessive/manipulative tendencies, cyber and irl stalking (usage of tracking device), food and eating were mentioned several times

A/N: thank you @unsaltedalmonds for the idea of IT!Bucky wearing this shirt lmfao

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

CTRL playlist CTRL moodboard

The lunch rush is starting to pick up when you came into the restaurant Bucky had told you. The chitter-chatter of the patrons along with the live acoustic band drones on as you sit by the bar waiting for him.

It’s nice. The mood is casual and the atmosphere is light. Maybe if the al-fresco dining area isn’t too crowded, you’d pick a sunny spot.

Catching your reflection on a glassy surface, you fix your appearance, hoping that it isn’t too much or too little.

“You look great, don’t worry.” A voice behind you perks up and you turn—Bucky.

A genuine smile finds itself on your lips, “thanks, Bucky. How long have you been here?” You let your eyes gaze upon his form. Black bomber jacket, zipped up all the way, tight skinny jeans, and scruffy boots. He swapped his dress shirt with something casual and it’s somehow driving you nuts already.

He gestures backward to a free table a few feet away, “long enough to get a seat for us.”

Bucky then sees your eyes flick outside by the restaurant’s patio, “unless you wanna go al-fresco?”

“Oh my gosh,” you almost even give yourself an eye roll for that, “no—no, it’s okay. We can stay here.”

“C’mon, it’s okay. I’m sure someone would be willing to switch with us.”

Before you could protest further, Bucky already flagged down the hostess. Giving his best smile and a minuscule head tilt, he speaks, “Do you think we could get a seat out there? I think fresh air would do us good.”

Like any other woman—hell, even men—wouldn’t be able to resist Bucky and his charm, “yeah! Of course, anything for you and your girlfriend.” The hostess looks at you and beams, prompting you to smile back.

Do you even try to dismiss that claim when you caught how Bucky reacted?

—

Peals of laughter slip past your lips as Bucky unzips his jacket, revealing a tasteful shirt underneath, “Bucky, oh my god!”

He throws an apologetic look around as you keep laughing, your hands hitting the table repeatedly.

“Can you keep it down?” Even he was chuckling a bunch, “in my defense, I need to do my laundry.”

You calmed yourself down only to laugh again, happy tears springing to the sides of your eyes.

Bucky wants to relive this is forever. Making you laugh and cry from laughing too much.

Is this what love feels like?

Your presence to him is like ecstasy.

He never wants to leave your light.

Everything about you is addicting.

And the way you didn’t even try to dismiss when the hostess called you his girlfriend—you want him as much as he wants you.

—

Lunch turned into afternoon snacks and snacks turned to dinner.

You and Bucky almost went and turned every food place upside down, the waistbands of your pants getting snug as the sun sets by the avenue.

“I’m so full, oh my god.” You jokingly rubbed your tummy, sipping boba as you walked side by side.

“Says the person drinking boba tea?” Bucky smirks, his hair fashioned into a low bun, showing off his side profile, much to the delight of people passing by.

He’s a walking Greek statue and you’re with him.

Bucky makes you feel loved. Enough. Seen. Validated.

Is this what love feels like?

You in his presence feel like a warm hug.

Bucky changed you forever.

A rather rushing pedestrian knocked shoulders with Bucky, causing him to stumble back and you to hold him steady, “you good?”

He seemed pissed, the crease between his eyebrows prominent, “yeah. Sorry, I’m okay.”

And then there it was: the tug of something unknown yet strangely familiar. The sound of the traffic ceases as you and Bucky both gaze upon each other’s eyes, only drifting to the other’s lips.

The moment has never been this perfect. Fuck all your romantic comedies starring Kate Hudson, this is your story now.

“Can I kiss you?” Bucky asks tenderly. His hand brushing your hair away from your face.

“Yes.”

Without a moment’s notice, your lips met.

—

Hand in hand, you walked the streets feeling like you’re on the clouds. Sweet smiles, bashful giggles. Normally, you would protest against stealing kisses but not when it’s him.

“This is my place,” Bucky says, pointing towards a mid-rise apartment complex. The neighborhood wasn’t new to you; you often find yourself walking these very streets early in the mornings.

You haven’t had the moment to appreciate his art pieces when Bucky suddenly pinned you against the door, shutting it roughly as soon as you stepped into his apartment threshold.

His lips finding yours, nibbling. The kiss was anything but sweet—all teeth and tongues.

“You have no idea how much I’ve waited to do that.”

“Like a month?” You quipped, tugging the collar of his tee. Your arms draping past his shoulders as his hands rest on your hips.

“Yeah, sure, let’s say a month.”

Having you in his studio apartment was meant to be. You in his space was written in the stars. He can almost see you waking up on his bed with him cooking you breakfast. Making you a cup of coffee now that he knows how you like it: with cream and two sugars.

You took a seat on his large office chair and a vision of you riding him suddenly floods his brain. Hey, now’s not the time.

Him shaking his head into resetting sent the wrong message, “oh. I can’t sit there, or…?” You pull yourself up, metaphorically hitting yourself in the head for making such a presumption.

Maybe he’s that kind of person who doesn’t like someone all up in their space. Then why would he take you here?

“No, no, it’s fine. I just—don’t you think it’s a bit late?” Bucky forces a smile, rubbing his palm across his nape. The warm feeling was suddenly pulled out of him. Now he’s just standing in his house with an acquaintance.

You suddenly felt small, minuscule, and very, very stupid. “Oh. Yeah, uh, I should probably get going.”

“What about a drink?” Bucky’s internally panicking now, he didn’t mean to insinuate the intent of leaving.

You shook your head, straightening your posture as you gathered your thoughts. “I can call a ride, it’s no worries. Got tons of stuff to do anyway.”

“I’m sorry.” Is all Bucky said. He wasn’t really sure why he’s apologizing or what it is for.

—

The door clicked closed and Bucky bolts to his workspace, closing down the applications that will implicate him.

He closes all applications but one, a tracking dot. He installed one on your work phone just in case you needed his help and can’t reach out. You’d never know who’s a sick fuck in these days.

Bucky shoots you a text but instead, he got a phone call.

Hey.

Hey.

The sound of the road was muffled on your end, but nonetheless, the car was moving in the right direction.

I’m so sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to...intrude. I just—I really like you, Bucky. I’m sorry I was too forward.

I… Bucky tries to play with time as he chooses his next words carefully, I like you too but I think we’re going too fast.

Your end was quiet, save from the ambient noises.

I guess so. Let’s keep things professional and friendly first, okay?

Okay.

I gotta go, I’m at my place.

The line went dead without as much as a goodbye.

Liar. Why would you lie to him? You have at least fifteen minutes more to go.

Why would you lie to him? Didn't you just say that you liked him? The way you said it was so casual—like it didn’t bother you that you were lying to him. Raised like a liar, die like a thief.

[gruviafan-forever]

GRUVIA WEEK- DAY III

"DISCOVERY"

When Gray had reported the drone issues to Erza and Mr Dreyar, the agency was in fix about who could be going to this extent to know about one of their actor's personal lives.

"Looks like there are still some reporters who believe that photos stuff,"

Makarov said while rubbing his forehead.

"But Master didn't we announce it's just a hoax that should have calmed everyone down" Erza reasoned.

"That's not the case, Erza. It's more like these people are working to uncover Gray's secret and create some scandalous sensations" 

Makarov said and tried calling his grandson, Laxus Dreyar who works in the police department.

After informing Laxus, Makarov seemed to have calmed down. That's when Erza informed Gray's decision to unravel his marriage.

"It's high time. However, it's a good decision" Makarov said with a smile.

He knew how hard Gray has worked for these four years to shape his career.

"Let's hope it goes accordingly. Tell Mr Jason to come and meet me. He needs to prepare an article about this and publish it the very next day of the award function on Sorceress Weekly. Also, I need to talk with Gray tomorrow, do inform him, Erza" Makarov informed.

"Yes Master," Erza said with a smile.

#

NEXT MORNING 

Gray got ready for the upcoming event and told her he could come late at night so that they don't wait for him for dinner.

"Yes, Gray-sama. Today I was planning to take Yuki to the park so that she could play with kids of her age. But after what happened yesterday, I decided not to," Juvia said and was adjusting Gray's coat.

Gray began to ponder before he spoke again, "I know it's not right to keep her inside the house and deny her playing freedom. But the situation calls for it, we have to bear for a few more days, Juvia."

He said confidently and kissed her forehead.

It was still 9 AM and Yuki was still fast asleep. So the couple had time for themselves to enjoy their company.

"Sure Gray-sama. You take care. Don't go getting rigid suddenly. Be smiling and welcome your fans warmly. It's because of them you have gained this popularity, remember that Gray-sama."

Juvia lectured her husband like every time any event comes up.

"Yes, madam"

Gray rolled his eyes and smiled at the end. At times, she treated him like a child which he secretly liked.

"Good boy, now get going. I have a lot of chores to do today. If possible, can we go to the supermarket? They're few things which we need to purchase." Juvia consulted him.

Gray agreed and told them to be wary of their surroundings.

"Don't let Yuki wander off on her own. She's such a ball of energy. I know she is a bit difficult to control but look after her. I will take my leave, bye, wifey."

Gray leaned forward to kiss her lips and got one in return.

After bidding bye to her husband, Juvia got freshened up to kick start her day before her daughter woke up.

Soon Gray reached the mentioned location, he was escorted by his manager through the back exit.

"Good morning, Erza"

"Happy morning, Gray. How's Juvia and Yuki doing?"

"Oh, they are doing great. Did Mr Dreyar say anything about the issue?" Gray questioned her.

"Yeah… he wants to meet you after this event. So get ready for that."

Erza informed them and soon they reached the main cabin where every celebrity under the Fairy Tail banner was present.

They greeted each other before Gray went to his friend, Natsu Dragneel and his girlfriend, Lucy Heartfilia.

They bumped their fist and the first thing Natsu asked about was Yuki and Juvia.

Almost every single member of Fairy Tail knew about him so it was not a piece of surprise news for them.

"They are good. Juvia's been calling you two for dinner. Why don't you come by one day? And you too, Erza. Come with your boyfriend."

Gray teased the red-haired woman who had the courtesy to blush on hearing about her love interest.

"Sure, we will come by, once we get to enjoy some free time,"

Natsu said and Lucy nodded in agreement.

That's when Gajeel decided to enter their group. It had been three years since he joined Fairy Tail after his Phantom Band got disbanded.

It was Juvia who proposed Gajeel join this big agency. Gray had spoken about this to Mr Dreyar on his girlfriend's insistence.

Mr Dreyar readily agreed after seeing his performance, ever since, then, Gajeel had been performing for this agency. 

His popularity soared after his debut. Gajeel was very much grateful to both Gray and Juvia.

Gajeel had insisted Juvia continue being his lyricist but she denied it as the agency had appointed their best Lyricist, Levy McGarden to aid her best friend.

Juvia knew Gajeel was smitten by her and didn't have the heart to the third wheel behind them.

Moreover, things happened which made her quit the part-time job which she was doing.

"Yo guys, it's been a long since I saw you all in existence. How's everything going on?"

Gajeel greeted and began with the conversation.

Gray greeted him back and soon everyone started to discuss the event and its aftermath.

#

It had been a month since Gray and Juvia had levelled up their relationship.

Gray's first tv drama shooting has been wrapped up. In a few more episodes, the drama reaches its conclusion.

For now, Gray enjoyed his free time before the shooting for the next drama commences.

The last two days were hectic for both of them as the agency had ordered Gray to move out of that lodging apartment to other high society flats which they had arranged for him.

This move was taken to avoid fans and reporters gathering around his place and prevented them from invading his privacy.

Juvia was sad hearing this news as now she will be left alone in his apartment.

Even her best friend had moved out to give privacy to her and Gray, same was the case with Gray, Natsu had moved out a couple of months as soon as he signed up for his first tv series.

Juvia tried to remain bold and not to tear up but nothing could get past Gray's eyes.

"Juvia"

"Juvia"

Gray pouted, she was not paying attention to him and was just staring blankly at his shirt.

To remove her from trance, Gray hugged her from behind which startled her.

"Gray-sama"

"Oi!! What's with the long face? I have never seen you thinking like this. Are you perhaps trying to ditch me?" Gray teased her and kissed her neck.

Juvia turned around and hit his chest, "Don't joke like that. You know how much I love you. Stupid Gray"

Juvia sounded serious especially when he heard her calling him 'Gray'.

She never called him by name without a suffix. That's when he noticed she was crying.

Gray began to fidget and cupped her face, "Hey dear, what happened? Why are you crying?" He asked her worriedly.

Juvia began to wipe her tears off but it never stopped until she told him the reason.

"I feel we will stay apart, Gray-sama, emotionally too. I'm scared that I will be left all alone once again in my life. Of course, I'm being clingy on you but I couldn't help it."

She conveyed her feelings and hugged her lover tightly.

Gray felt happy that she opened up her fear. Even he didn't want to move away from her and from the morning was thinking of asking her to move in with me as his fiancee.

Yes, Gray wanted to marry her and have a lovely life with her. He knew from these 7 months of dating, that she was born for him and he for her.

He was going to propose to her tonight but it looks like the plan needs to be executed at the moment to make her feel assured of their relationship.

"Juvia, I.." 

Before Gray could say anything, Juvia fell unconscious in his arms. He tried to wake her up but it was futile.

He carried her to the bedroom and went out to call a doctor from a nearby clinic.

Once the doctor had come and checked her up, Gray felt relief that she was alright and nothing to worry about except...

"WHAT??" Gray shrieked.

"Yes, Mr Fullbuster. Your girlfriend is pregnant. Congratulations, once Juvia wakes up, give her the medicine and go and visit the gynaecologist, they will guide you from there."

The doctor left him after advising him how to take care of a pregnant woman.

Gray couldn't believe what was happening at the moment. He had mixtures of thoughts and emotions.

But predominantly, it was happiness. He is going to be a father, that too really soon. He was going to lead a happy life with his beloved.

Soon, he was going to have a family which he and Juvia were denied from starting, this brought him happy tears and thanked the Gods for such a second chance.

Now all he hoped for was Juvia to feel the same as him.

After 30 minutes, Juvia woke up from her sleep, the first thing she saw was Gray resting beside her.

Juvia smiled at him and ruffled his hairs and that's when she noticed the ring on her finger. 

She couldn't believe her eyes and closed her mouth with her palms to avoid shouting.

Slowly, Gray woke up and saw his girlfriend's surprised expression which brought a smile to his face.

"Well, calm down, Juvia" 

Hearing his voice, Juvia pulled him into a hug and shouted 'yes'.

Gray chuckled, " I didn't even ask you yet"

Juvia began rubbing her face against his and kissed his forehead,

"I will marry you, Gray-sama."

Gray kissed her lips, "I was actually planning to do it tonight after dinner but here, I'm asking you 'Will you marry me?' "

"1000 times Yes… I'm waiting to live my life with you, Gray-sama…"

"So do I, dear"

Gray kissed her again.

Once their adrenaline has calmed down, Gray slowly broke the news.

"You know what, I found out something. Can you take a guess?"

Gray asked her while squeezing her palms.

Juvia wondered what it could be and accepted her defeat. Now she was curious what this could be.

"We are going to be parents. You are pregnant, Juvia. You are gonna be mama and I'm gonna be papa."

He said with a big smile and kissed her palm.

Then, he told her everything from the moment she fainted to till doctors departure.

Juvia was shedding happy tears and caressing her flat tummy for now. She was going to be a mother, she was going to have her own family now which she longed for since her childhood.

"Are you happy, Gray-sama?"

She wanted to know his feelings.

"My happiness goes beyond this world. I'm happy that we are gonna start be a family together. Juvia, let's get married tomorrow."

Gray shared his piece of mind.

"Thank you for sharing the same feeling as mine, Gray-sama. I love you a lot." Juvia said earnestly.

The very next day, they got their marriage registered in an office. Gray casually informed the recent events of his life to friends and Mr Dreyar.

They were shell shocked yet wished them both happiness enough for their life ahead.

That's when Mr Dreyar had told him to hide this news from the public as Gray was still a budding artist and this could hamper this growth.

Juvia agreed and supported this decision and even convinced Gray to agree with this. It's after sorting out these issues they finally went to their new home.

[httpnxtt]

Hold That Thought - III

Author’s Note:

Final Part my lovelies!! I’m sorry for depriving you of a confession twice now…. I had to make Lovie’s man Hotch do it. But, it’s finally here!! Although I’m still totally judgemental of my own work, I am pretty proud of this for being my first fic (: 

Thank you guys for the support on it, I love my discord babies for pushing me to try writing <3

Playlist : My Girl Cover

Previous Parts: Part One , Part Two  

Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*** RRIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGG ***** 

Your phone blasts through the room, cutting Spencer off. You quickly grab the phone to try to silence the call, seeing Aaron Hotchner’s name flash across the screen. 

“I’m so sorry… Hold that thought, Spence?”

“Hotch.. Is everything okay?” you question, answering the phone. Locking eyes with Spence, you see him longing yet annoyed. 

“Of course. We’re on the jet, we just wanted to check in with you, see how you-” your listening is abruptly cut off, seeing Spencer rip your phone from your hand, holding it up to his own ear. 

“HOTCH, GOD DAMN IT I’M TRYING TO TELL Y/N I LOVE HER BUT GET CUT OFF AGAIN BY YOU CALLING!” he yells into the phone, eyes widening as he realizes what he said. He drops the phone onto the bed, staring into your eyes. As you’re looking at each other, you can’t help but hear the team through the phone.

“...... What?” - Hotch

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, my babies, they’re finally getting together. Ahhh! Oh my god!” - Garcia

“YEAAAAAHHHH PRETTY BOY! GET IT!” - Morgan

“Wrap it before you tap it!” - Prentiss

Breaking your trance, you slowly reach down to grab your phone, bringing it back to your ear. 

“Hey guys, I’m gonna have to call you back.” you say just above a whisper. You end the call before you can hear their responses. You and Spencer continue to sit in silence, waiting for the other to speak. 

“I didn’t mean to-” 

“Did you mean-” you both start at the same time. Quietly giggling, you motion for Spencer to speak. 

“I, um, I didn’t mean to yell that out like that. I thought about what I was going to say for a long time, trying to put the right words together to convey exactly how I felt. No combination of words in any language could convey quite how much I care for you. I’ve loved you since you first knocked on my door crying over the storm. I’ve loved you since we sat on my couch until the sun came up laughing and smiling over a bag of jelly beans. I can’t imagine my life without you, jelly bean. I love you.” he looks you in the eye, fumbling with his hands, the only thing signaling his nervousness. You just look at him, pinching yourself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. Quickly, you push yourself onto your knees from your spot, letting your lips touch his as your hands cup his face, the butterflies in your tummy amplifying, feeling as if they’ll burst into the world at any moment. Slowly, Spencer registers the actions, wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you closer so your chests are flush against one another. Your mouths slowly push against each other, treating the other as if they’re fragile glass. Slowly, you both pull away. Opening your eyes, you meet his beautiful doe eyes staring at you like you’re the only thing in the world, and to him… you were. 

“I love you, buttercup. Always have, always will.” you whisper to him, brushing your thumb over his cheek. He presses his cheek further into your hand, moving slightly to press his lips just below your thumb. Gently, he lays you both on the bed, keeping you wrapped in his arms. You continue to look in his eyes, stroking his cheek, a silent conversation flowing between you both. Spencer pulls you closer, your head now resting on his chest hearing his heartbeat again. 

“Go to sleep, jelly bean. I’ll still be here in the morning.” he whispers, pressing his lips to your forehead. 

“Spencer. What does this mean for us?” you ask him in a hushed tone, afraid to look into his eyes. You curl yourself into a ball against his chest. 

“Well, bean. I’m yours, and only yours. At least, if you’d have me. But even then, you’d still own my heart. “ you look up at him, meeting his soft gaze. 

“You’ve owned my heart since I stepped foot in the BAU, Reid. And I don’t think that’ll ever change.” you whisper to him, pressing your lips to his once more. As you let go, you curl back into his chest, letting sleep over take your senses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waking up in the morning, you stretch out, feeling the empty bed next to you. Oh no… was it all a dream? Did you make up the confession, still having to live with the fact that Reid was just your best friend? Before your thoughts can fight their way down the rabbit hole you couldn’t fight your way out of, you hear your hotel room door opening, Reid coming into view a moment later with a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Good morning, my little jelly bean. You looked so peaceful sleeping, I figured I would go get some breakfast and coffee for you when you woke up.” He explained, motioning the coffee carrier and bag in his hands. Pulling himself back into the bed, he sat the items down before pulling you into a sweet, gentle kiss. The feeling made every worry you had slowly dissipate. You slowly move into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck, keeping him from leaving. He pulls away from your lips, looking at you in awe. When you feel his stubble, a giggle escapes your lips like music to his ears. Quickly, he places little kisses all over your face and neck, erupting the most beautiful laughter that has ever graced his ears. 

“Bean, you should eat before it gets cold.” he whispers against your cheek, leaving a final kiss on the soft skin. He gently pushes you off his lap onto the bed directly next to him, handing you your coffee. He moves slightly to grab the boxes of food, you already missing his touch. He hands you the utensils, already digging into his food. 

“So, what’s your plan for the day, jelly bean?” he asks before shoveling another forkful of food into his mouth. As soon as he asks, he notices the cloud of gloom that seemed to appear over your head. 

“I, uh, I was planning on going to have a picnic with my mom before hitting the road back to Quantico.” you reply, just above a whisper. Spencer reaches his hand out, placing it tenderly on your thigh. He knows this would be difficult for you, but also knew you needed it after the most recent case. 

“It’ll be okay, bean. I’ll go to that coffee shop down the road until yo-”

“Will you come with me?” you burst, interrupting his thought process. You look at him with your sad eyes, your eyes alone practically begging the man you loved. 

“If you want me to, I will. I don’t want to take your time away from her.” he crooned. You push your food aside, climbing back into his lap to wrap your arms around him. 

“I always want you, Spence. But, I could really use the support.” you sniffled, cuddling into the man’s chest. He simply wrapped his arms back around you, swaying side to side to comfort you. 

“Of course, jelly bean. Why don’t you make a list of foods and such for the picnic, I’ll run back to the store while you shower and dress, yeah?” 

“Sounds lovely, buttercup.” you whisper, kissing his cheek, seeing the blush creep across his cheeks lightly. “Can we stay like this for a bit more though? I’m feeling extra cuddly right about now.”

“Whatever your heart desires, my love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You ready?” Spencer questions you, seeing you fiddle with the hem of your sundress. 

“As I’ll ever be.” you murmur, your hand slipping into his, fingers laced together. He leads you out of the room, down to the car as you walk in silence. You’ve never taken your friends to visit your mom, let alone taken your love. The car ride is almost silent, Spencer’s hand gently placed on your thigh as reassurance. Soft music playing through the speakers, you play your song again. The rest of the ride, you listen to the soft melodies, hearing Spencer softly sing along. It filled your heart with so much love to know he remembered all these little things that would make you happy, especially without your mom to do them anymore. As the car pulls into the parking spot, you feel your stomach drop. You felt the desolation you felt so long ago try to resurface, fighting it away to the best of your ability. Spencer jumps out, walking around to grab the basket and open your door for you. As you slide out of the car, Spencer gently places the basket down before encasing your body in his arms in a tight embrace. 

“It’ll be okay, Y/N. You have me, you don’t have to do this alone.” he whispered in your ear as tears threaten to spill. You took a deep breath, nodding into his chest. You look up to him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips before grabbing the basket. With one last deep breath, you tangle your fingers with his, pulling him softly as to follow you across the field. 

Finding the familiar large tree, you stood for a minute, admiring the view. 

“I’ll give you a minute, bean. I’ll be right back.” Spencer says, giving your hand a light squeeze. As he walks away, you sit in the grass next to the large stone slab. 

“Hi Mom.” you whisper, running your hand over the stone. “It’s been awhile. I’m sorry I don’t visit much anymore. Being down in Virginia and always dragged away in cases has my schedule all sorts of crazy. I miss you. Every day. I wish I could say it’s been easier over the years, but it hasn’t really. I made it into the BAU. Just like we worked for. I’ve met some amazing people there. They got me to open up finally. Especially Spencer. That boy is something else. He’s given me butterflies in my tummy since the moment I laid eyes on him. You would love him. He’s quite literally a genius. But, he’s also an awkward nerd at heart which I love about him. He became my best friend when I moved here. He’s taken up and remembered all the things you would do to help me. He even drew my bath for me, just like you did. He sang along to “My Girl”, and read “Rumple Buttercup” to me. Although he questioned the loveable monster throughout the entire story, that's just Spencer. He’s sad that he’ll never properly meet you on this Earth. But, he’s looking out for me, and I love him, momma. He’s my whole world.” you sniffle, letting out a slight giggle at the fact you’re telling a stone about the love of your life. But, you knew somewhere, somehow, your mother was listening. You could feel her. You lifted your hand to wipe at your undereyes, brushing away the forming tears in your eyes. You turn around, looking at Spencer. His curls were blowing every direction in the slight breeze, but he looked relaxed as he looked off at the view. Feeling your gaze, he turns to you flashing a bright smile You giggle, motioning for him to come over. As he draws near, you pull him down to sit with you. ��Momma, this is Spencer, my boyfriend.” you said, then turning to look at Spencer. “Spencer, this is my momma.” he smiles at you as he brushes away a lone tear that strayed down your cheek. Taking a deep breath, you pull the basket over, ready to dig into the snacks Spencer brought.

“Wow, Spence, you really went all out.” you giggled, looking into the almost overflowing picnic basket. 

“I had to make sure to grab all your favorites.” he whispered, pressing his lips to your temple. Through the early afternoon, you two munched on snacks, talking back and forth, sharing laughs, maybe shedding a few tears. At one point, you ended up laying your head in Spencer’s lap as he leaned against the tree next to the stone, running his fingers through your hair and scalp. As he felt your breaths begin to deepen, he assumed you were falling asleep. Looking around, he looked at the stone. He knew this woman had meant the world to you growing up, and he could see the pain in your eyes every day that she was gone. Making sure you were asleep, he shifted his focus to the stone in front of him. 

“Hi, Y/M/N. I’m Spencer, although I heard jelly bean here introduce me already. Although I don’t think I was supposed to hear. I’m sorry you aren’t here to see what an amazing woman your daughter has become, but I hope I can be there for her in life. Thank you for pushing her to pursue her dreams. If not, I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of falling in love with her since joining us in the BAU. She’s amazing in and out of work. I hope everyday that I am enough for her, and that I can protect her at all means necessary. I hope I have served your memory justice in the time I have known her. I know that “Rumple Buttercup” character and your song mean everything to my jelly bean. But I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always love your daughter with my entire mind, body and soul. She is the love of my life, and I hope to spend every moment of my life with her.”

As you listen to Spencer’s words, you feel tears slip from your eyes, hitting his leg praying he doesn’t notice. He leans down, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

“I love you, jelly bean.” You couldn’t ask for anyone better. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After waking you up from your nap, Spencer knew you had heard what he said but you both played off as if you had no idea. You both piled into the car around 7, ready for the three hour drive back to Quantico. As Spencer drives, you can’t help but look over at the man who holds your heart. He reaches over with a free hand, grasping your hand. He guides it back to his face, pressing gentle kisses into the back of it. And the rest of the ride continued as such; Sneaky glances, small kisses, and lots of hand holding. 

When you returned around 10:30, Spencer ended up staying the night in your apartment, even as close as his apartment was. You spent the night in a blissful sleep, cuddling your love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, you drove to Quantico together as usual, but this time there was more of a pep in your step. As you got ready in the morning, there were plenty of stolen kisses and cuddles, almost making you late for work. On the way, you made sure to stop at the local coffee shop to pick up everyone’s favorite order. Pulling into Quantico, you and Spencer each carried a tray of drinks, your hands intertwined between you. 

Pushing open the doors to the BAU, you were met with stares from your entire team. 

“Pretty Boy finally made a move, huh?” Morgan laughs, clapping a hand onto Reid’s shoulder. The second you sat the tray down on your desk, you were tackled into a bone-crushing hug by none other than Penelope Garcia herself. The entire team was chattering, asking a million and one questions. Quickly hushing their tones as Hotch and Rossi make their way over, they spot Y/N and Reid’s hands still interlocked at your sides, a blush creeping up your neck making its way unto your cheeks. 

“Well it’s about time. You may both be geniuses, but you both are so fucking dumb sometimes.” Hotch says, shooting you both a toothy grin. 

“Looks like a cause for another celebration at my house if you ask me.” Rossi chimes in, resting his hand on your shoulder. And at this moment in time, you felt complete. You had your team, your love, and your mother’s memories. If only you could freeze the moment and hold your thoughts for the rest of eternity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tags: @timey-wimey-lovi @harrys-creature @spencer-reid-in-a-pool @redbullchick @etherealsxnder @samanddeanstolethetardis221b @blushingspencer @palestxrlight

[supertweetycherry]

DIE HARD || [iii. Feeling Helpless]

—Pairings: BTS x OC

—Genre: BTS Mafia Au, Slight Fluff, Angst (a lot of it), Heartbreak, Thriller

—Ratings: 18+ | MA Content | R

—Warnings: Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Alcohol, Mentions of Prostitution, Bad boy behaviour, a bit of Abuse and lot of angry screaming.

—Summary: She belong to them. They belong to her. It’s simple as that. Period.

—Word Count: 4.9k

 Navigations -> Masterlist || MASTERPOST <<Part 1 || Part 3>>

 Chapter 2 - Feeling Helpless

Ring. Ring.

A loud ringing noise echoed in the room as Yoona slept blissfully on her bed. Her dark hair sprawled all over her pillow, and her limbs carelessly spread across the bed. Her comforter was nearly off the edges while her body was bent in an odd angle.

Ring. Ring.

There it was again. That sound. It was followed by a buzz of vibration that shook her tummy.

“Ughh... stop!” She groaned out, but to her dismay, the sound continued to disturb her peaceful slumber.

Slowly opening one of her eyes, she looked at her surroundings and blinked. The room was flooded with the strong sunlight coming from her tall windows. She had to squint her eyes a bit, to see where she was. An empty alcohol bottle was digging into her side as she moved her heavy limbs around, trying to get some stretch in. Luckily, the bottle managed to roll away only to find her hand collide with something squashy.

“Wha—” She looked at her fingers to see a thin layer of white icing. Suddenly, her head swung to her right to see a squashed cupcake, coating the right side of her bed.

She groaned, again. It was sticking flat against her bedsheet, spreading its creamy substance all over her bed.

How the fuck did this even get here?

“This is why I should stop bringing alcohol in this house.” She muttered to herself, before pulling her body up to a sitting position. Her head was buzzing with a strong migraine and her tummy felt like she was gonna hurl any second now.

Ring. Ring.

That sound was back. Still in her dazed state, she reached out to the source of the ringing. It was lying on her tummy, vibrating in full speed. Surprisingly, she didn’t mind it. The thing was giving her a massage, who is she to complain?

“Hello?” Her own voice sounded scratchy and hoarse. Exactly how much of the crying did she do last night?

“Yuri!” Yoona flinched as the loud voice of the person nearly damaged her ear drums. It boosted up her oncoming migraine.

“Suzy?”

“Where the hell are you?! It’s 10am in the morning! Ji-Soo is going crazy with all of us. Do you have any idea what’s going on? Everything is—”

Yoona blinked blankly at the phone. Her colleague slash friend was still barking into the phone continuously without stopping. Yoona had already stopped listening when Ji-Soo was mentioned. After wasting away her birthday night in alcohol, Lee Ji-Soo was the last person that Yoona would expect to pop up. But, apparently she did... only in two minutes of waking up.

“—you were supposed to be here! Now, I’m overloaded with all the extra work. The news has also been—”

The 26 year old wondered if she should cut the phone or let her friend talk. The words stopped making sense to her a long time ago.

“—been raining down on us. You need to check the news and come straight to the building now! Something serious is happening. The whole building is in—”

“Suzy!” Yoona finally exclaimed, cutting her friend off. “I’m coming. Just please, stop shouting.”

The plea itself sounded like a strained groan.

“But—Fine! Check the news before you reach here. It’s chaos up here.”

“Okay.”

Yoona didn’t wait for a goodbye. She cut the call before her head could explode from her friend’s loud voice.

Suzy Bae. The only cutest ball but yet, the most reactive girl in Yoona’s life. She has been the only good thing in Yoona’s life for the past 4 years. The girl was only two years younger than her but still quite competitive. She reminded Yoona of her youngest lover, Jungkook. They both were quite reactive to situations and annoyed the hell out of her most of the time.

‘Aigoo... my chubby little princess looks so cute and fluffy in her poofy dress.’

Yoona shook her head. There’s no way she’s going down that memory lane again. Her resistance level is very close to zero. She needs to build her walls back up to their previous glory so they won’t get smashed down by her uncle’s family again.

Still cursing her growing headache, she quickly cleaned the spoiled bed and got herself ready for work. Her bruises were still raw which just made her day even more worst than any other day she has ever had.

“Alright..” She said as she stared at her screwed up reflection in the giant mirror. Her eyes are definitely puffy and red from all that crying she did last night. There are dark circles under her eyes but nothing major. Makeup could fix that in a second. And her skin colour looked dull, but again, that’s how it is on her bad days.

“Okay, Day 1 of being a 26 year old... I can do this.”

And with that, she did. Within a span of one hour, she was done and ready to head off to work. Quickly pressing over her fine, collared white shirt and black skinny pants, she left the room. Turning on the stove for some breakfast, she let the TV play on a news channel. Suzy’s demands were still ringing in her head.

‘Watch the news.’

She wondered what was so important on the news that made Suzy turn into such as hyper-screaming mess.

“—Now, with the recent reports coming in, the infamous notorious criminal gang ‘Bangtan’ has struck again in South Korea—”

Hold up. Her hands stopped in mid-air, the egg only inches away from being cracked open. Did she hear it correctly? They said ‘Bangtan’ right? As in the ‘Bangtan’ gang that has been terrorizing the world ever since they have surfaced two years ago?

Turning the stove off, she headed to her living room where a middle aged women gave out the latest news on the screen. She turned up the volume so she could hear more clearly.

“—A women named Jung Jae-hee, the acting executive director of Lee Enterprise in South Korea, was recently found dead in her house. It has been only few hours since her discovery and already, the reports indicates that the women was tortured and brutally beaten to death before a close family member discovered her corpse. The local law enforcements ruled out the death to be a vengeful murder by the notorious gang ‘Bangtan’. Clear evidence haven’t been identified to support this claim yet but an inside source reported the similar markings on the women’s body has been seen before in other victims that comes under the wrath of Bangtan—”

Yoona narrowed her eyes at the name. Bangtan. The name itself sounded familiar to her but also at the same time, foreign. The gang is a notorious group of killers that have been dominating the world ever since they surfaced two years. They weren’t just a terror in Korea, their gang name has been a widely known name around the whole of Asia and up here in the states too. Their activities goes deeper than just normal drug smuggling, money laundering or loan sharking.

Yoona didn’t know much about them but, she knew enough to stay away from their paths.

She was just about to shake it off is when a thought struck her.

Jung Jae-Hee. Why does that name sound so familiar? Wait—Isn’t she the... Shit!

She gasped. Oh boy, no wonder Suzy was a screaming mess. Forget the food, she needs to get to the office. Now!

                                                       ********

“This doesn’t seem good.” Yoona said aloud as they stared at the chaos in the office. Every employee was scrambling into different directions with no regards to each other.

“Ya think?!” Her friend retorted from beside her. “Our old boss just got killed in her home country. It’s obvious everyone will be in a panicking state.”

Yoona glanced back at Suzy in worry. Her beautiful friend was glaring at everything in sight. With her long, silky black hair up in a loose pony tail and long strands of bangs covering her forehead, the girl looked livid and cute all at the same time. She was dressed in a proper pristine full sleeve blouse with a black pencil skirt, complimenting her petite figure. Pretty different to what Yoona was wearing.

A small sigh escaped Yoona’s lips. “I don’t know what to say...”

“Well, I know one thing. I don’t think I’m ever going back to South Korea again.” Suzy declared, her lips pouting in sadness. “Too many murders for my poor heart to take on. I’m a heart patient you people!”

Yoona chuckled at her friend’s antics.

“YURI!”

Yoona jumped at the new voice, her head already ringing with the high octanes in the voice.

‘Yuri’ was her mother’s maiden name that she adopted when her real identity as ‘Lee Yoona’ was erased. She joined the family of ‘Kim’, making her ‘Kim Yuri’, and became the orphaned, petty, poor girl who used her cunning ways in bed to get a job at Lee Enterprise. It was horrifying and disgusting that people actually believed this kind of shit these days.

“That is not good.” Suzy commented as Yoona peeked at the person who has called her out.

Daniel. Fucking Daniel.

“Shit, it’s him. Run!” And so they did.

But like they say that trouble finds you at every corner, Yoona’s worst trouble found her too.

Lee Ji-Soo.

The ultimate prodigy of the wicked witch of the west. And also, her little cousin.

The girl was the second child of Lee Sung Woo and one of the biggest tormentor in Yoona’s life. She was only few years younger than Yoona, almost at Suzy’s age, and already has a wicked ego. She was tall and naturally pretty. Her mind was sharp but also at the same she was easily influenced and angered which causes her emotions to take over her hazy mind. Yoona had tried to connect with Ji-Soo on so many different levels, but the bossy, obnoxious girl was never interested.

“Ji-Soo...” The girl was standing near Yoona’s desk. She was dressed in the most whitest clothes Yoona has ever seen on her. It spilled with fake purity. Even the Chanel earring in her left ear couldn’t match to it.

Suzy, who had already seen a storm brewing in Yoona’s cousin’s eyes, had already ducked out of sight to avoid the hissing serpent. Daniel, the person they were running from, had stopped too and had turned back around to the way he came from.

Ji-soo’s anger is known to be a legend in this building. No-one was a match for her. Anyone who dares to come across Ji-soo’s wrath, is burned alive. And right now, Yoona seems to be right in the middle of it.

“Where are the files?!” She demanded, face contorting into anger as everyone else around them stopped and stared. Why wouldn’t they? The young girl was one of their bosses.

It’s ironic how Yoona is treated as a mere servant in her own father’s company. It was named after her family name. The Lee Enterprise. It wasn’t just a business. It was an empire built by her great grandfather through blood, sweat and tears. It was passed along to her own father who pulled the company to new heights with strong alliances and strong values. But after his death, it was now run by her uncle.

Since, she’s practically dead to the world, she could never inherit her father’s company again. It’s something she regrets now.

“Answer me!”

Yoona looked at her cousin in confusion. Did something happen?

“What files?”

“Files for Aria, Yuri!”

Yoona wacked her brain at the familiar name. Aria... Aria... ARIA Resort & Casino!

“You mean... the casino?”

“Yes!” She was being impatient.

“I don’t know where the files are.” Yoona shrugged. It wasn’t under her job to take care of such important files. She was just a mere personnel support in the office. A little servant trying to find her way in this building. Even though she has a high-class business degree and masters under her name, she will always be treated as Kim Yuri, the little spawn of a dead whore.

“They were on your desk!” She screeched.

“No, they weren’t.”

“Lier!”

“Honestly Ji-Soo, I have the lowest clearance in this building. Do you really think I will have such important files in my grip? Aren’t they supposed to be in your father’s office?”

ARIA Resort & Casino is a luxury building dedicated to its given name and located in Las Vegas, Nevada. Its only an hour away from here by plane. The huge, mega complex building was originally owned by an American entertainment industry which turned out to be another counterpart of Kim Industries. But after that tragic night, and the death of all Kim’s heirs, the ownership was lost. Not only for the casino but also for many other assets that Kim industries had owned. In the end, the casino was passed around in many different hands before landing into the hands of Lee Enterprise. And for the past six years, it has been her uncle’s play baby.

“They’re not in his office.” This time, Ji-Soo’s voice was laced with worry. But then, the anger returned. “I know you have them.”

Yoona sighed. She rubbed her head in irritation.

“No. I don’t have them.”

“Don’t lie to me, Yuri!” The younger screeched, grabbing Yoona’s arm in the process. The older winced at the sudden pain that came from the bruises on her arm. “You don’t want me to tell Omma about this, do you?” She threatened with small wild smile.

Yoona glared at the younger women. That girl knew how much her mother despises Yoona and would love to beat her up at any given chance.

“Ji-Soo...” another voice interrupted them.

Both of them turned to the new voice and gulped. The voice belonged to a tall boy with dark golden brown hair locks, and a piercing look that instantly broke the skin-to-skin contact they had with each other.

Yoona had to ball up her hands into little fists to avoid feeling scared. The tall boy was her older cousin. He was dressed in a tight blue suit that covered every inch of his body. The expensive Goldmark watch on his right wrist was sparkling as the long scarf in his neck complimented his looks.

To others he might seem ethereal, but to her, he was pure evil.

“Tae-min oppa...” Ji-Soo called out to her older brother.

Yoona avoided looking at the man. She unconsciously covered her right arm, where the result of his tight grip on her from two days ago showed.

“Leave her.” He said, flicking his hair to the side. His slightly bulky body looked lean and relaxed. “Come. We have somewhere important to be.”

The man’s voice was laced with sweetness and seemed calm. That’s what scared Yoona the most. His calm demeanour that could change into something completely different in a simple second.

“But—”Ji-Soo didn’t dare to continue. Her brother’s eyes had slightly narrowed. She gulped and glanced at Yoona in fury before stalking after her older brother.

The only thing Yoona could do was sigh and thank the gods for saving her again from the endless pain.

                                                      ********

Lee Sung-Woo, the current head of Lee Enterprise, sighed as he rested his head back against the soft, leather chair. He could hear his kids entering the room but he didn’t bother acknowledging them. They were mature enough to understand that their father was stressed.

Being the head of Lee Enterprise is a hard, challenging job. Not only the company was one of the top companies in the world, it was also the foundation of a large empire built in the underworld. The main family line within the circle of the best of the best. A circle that was broken and re-formed again with new masters. But now, something new was challenging the empire. Something that is ready to topple them off. And he didn’t like that one bit.

“Dad..” he heard his eldest speak. “We can still fix this. You don’t have to take on stress.”

Sung-Woo hummed at his son’s words. The boy was always the calm one. The one who stayed patient till the end before loosing his shit and letting his demons out to rule. “I have put my best men on this. We will know who actually killed Jae-Hee.”

“I know, Tae-min.” The older man spoke. “You would never disappoint me. But I’m not worried about the girl’s death. She’s an easy replacement.”

Something twitched in the golden haired boy. Jae-Hee wasn’t just any girl to him. She was special, but he didn’t dare go against his father.

“Is it the ARIA files then?” Ji-Soo spoke up, nervousness seeping into her tone.

Sung-woo’s anger flared at the mention of his play baby. Those files were important. They were the property papers for ARIA.

“Have you found them yet?”

Ji-Soo shivered at her father’s hard tone. She pursed her lips and shook her head. She didn’t need to say anything because he can see her.

“You better hope they are just misplaced. If something happens to ARIA, I will not forgive you for this, Ji-Soo.” The older man warned his daughter.

Ji-Soo felt her body freeze. Her eyes widening at the implications of his words. He wouldn’t hurt his own daughter, right?

“It’s not her fault, dad.” His son spoke up, defending his little sister. “I think they have been stolen.”

A stab of fear hit Sung-Woo. What kind of force was he dealing with? This building is under strict security 24/7. There were guards everywhere. There were high-tech cameras in every part and corner of this building. It’s impossible for someone to steal the files. He really hoped that his daughter has just misplaced them.

“We’ll talk about them later. Right now, I have to introduce you both to some people.”

They looked at each other in confusion.

“Who?”

Sung-Woo didn’t answer. Instead, he pressed a button underneath his table and the back wall opened up into a series of giant screens covering every inch of the wall space. A loud click was heard as the room’s door locked itself electronically and the windows turned into a smokey grey colour, completely cutting off the view inside the office.

“It’s time for you both to meet The Circle.”

                                                      ********

The city of Los Angeles was buzzing with life. With it being one of the most populous city in all of California, the nightlife here was tremendously as lavish and expensive as they say. Having so many of entertainment industries under its boundaries and one of the best-class casinos, hotels and clubs, it is no-wonder that the heart of this city was completely submerged into the gambling and dealings of the underworld.

“Welcome to Dream Glow. Please enjoy your stay here.”

Kim Minseok smiled as he entered the large lavish building. Dream Glow. He chuckled. The name itself was grand and majestic as its owner.

“Wow. She really did turn this place around, didn’t she?” His little brother, Kim Jongin, commented as the younger male’s eyes travelled up to the outstanding classic decor. Minseok was also a little impressed. She really did a great job on this place. No wonder it’s brimming with customers.

Nodding his head in acceptance, he proceeded to go deeper into the building to find the egoistical, self-loving cousin of his that he hasn’t seen for a while. The visit itself was quite a surprise to him. Not to mention, the task he was given raised few red flags in his head.

“You sure he’s here?” Jongin asked beside him. The younger boy was eyeing the large room they had just entered in.

It was decorated in the most dark and vibrant colours he has ever seen. The Neon lights from above were giving it an extra glow, just like its name.

“Absolutely.” Minseok replied as they further stepped into the room.

The room was filled with rich men gambling, dancing, laughing and spilling their guts over the little female candies that sat beside them. These females were personally hired to pleasure these people in every way possible.

“Well, Well, well, look who it is...” a voice sang behind them.

“Hello, Charlie.” Minseok called out, not even needing to face the women that has appeared in the most darkest shade of red. Her hair were curled up into the most elegant beach waves ever seen, long diamond earrings complimenting her dress, and the perfect dark, smokey makeup that covered all of her flaws, seemingly making her look flawless.

The women looked at him with her strong gaze. She gasped mockingly.

“The big bad Xiumin? Here in my club? Oh heavens, my death has finally come upon me.”

Minseok rolled his eyes at the women. She was always so dramatic.

“Where is he?” He demanded. The women chuckled, her dark orbs glistening in the neon lights.

“Impatient are we?” She mocked with a little pout. “Come on, we just met after such a long time. Let’s have a little fun.”

A perfectly manicured hand slithered up-to his upper chest, caressing the hard muscles beneath it and rubbing over the hard abs that can be felt with one soft touch. He didn’t react. He could feel his younger brother’s muffled laughter from behind him.

“Charlie, where is Jin?” The tone was hard and clear this time. It made the women pout harder.

“Oh bummer. You’re such a party pooper. Jin was right. You will never change.”

And with that she unlatched her hand from his body and proceeded to the younger Kim who looked a bit shocked at the sudden changeover. “He’s in the private booths to the far corner, away from everyone else.” Minseok looked at the direction she pointed at. “You should go darling, he wants you alone. And don’t worry about your brother, I will play with him.” She said as she worked her magic on Jongin who was always a sucker for a little touch-n-touch anytime and anywhere.

Minseok groaned as a small purr came out from her lips. He shook his head and left the two to their mechanisms. Dream Glow Casino was a trusted place. His brother will be fine.

                                                     ********

As soon as Minseok reached the booth, he was greeted by a familiar looking blonde boy who was dressed into the most simplest but custom made pink shirt and fancy white pants. His neck held a thin simple silver chain while his right hand was adorned with various rings. One in particular standing out. The dark red ruby.

His handsome face was a true fairytale beauty and way too alluring to the female candies that sat either side of him. They were all over him, being shameless from every angle while the beautiful blonde boy himself stared hungrily at them. His soft, pink, plump lips already working their way against their necks.

“Jin.”

The boy stopped and looked up. He then beamed a bright smile at Minseok.

“Hyung... come, come. Sit with us.” The boy invited, gesturing to the vacant seat in front of him. “We were just talking about you.”

The elder raised an eye brow in question. But none the less, he took a seat with his cousin.

“Did you bring what I asked for, hyung?” The boy asked innocently, lightly tapping his slender fingers on the girl’s shoulders on his right. The hired candy just purred in satisfaction as she bathed in the attention she was receiving from the fairytale prince. Who thought a man like him could ever exist in this world?

Minseok pulled out a small stack of papers all stapled together. He slided them across the table to his cousin.

“It’s yours now.” Minseok smiled as he pointed to the transfer papers. “You are the new owner of ARIA Resort & Casino. Congrats, Jin. You finally got what you wanted.”

A small smirk appeared on his cousin’s face. The boy looked at the papers in total awe. His dark brown eyes scanning over every bit of the papers that now rested in his grip safely. One of his candies tried to grab his attention again but he smacked her off lightly, scolding her with his eyes.

Minseok felt a bit uncomfortable with his cousin and his female companions. He had never gotten used to this personality change in his younger cousin since that night.

Heartbreak is such a cruel thing that can happen to a person.

“You are lucky that I didn’t have to do much.” Minseok continued. “It was an easy grab in. No strings attached.”

His cousin smiled.

“Thank you, hyung. I own you one.” The boy said happily, passing the document to his guard that had appeared out of nowhere. “How’s little kai?”

“Little Kai is enjoying his time with Charlie.”

“Oh...”

A set of giggles erupted from the two ladies. His cousin was really doing wonders on them.

“Jin?”

“Hmm..”

Minseok contemplated if he should ask the question. Would the boy get angry?

“Why are you doing this? Why go after Lee Enterprise now?”

The reaction was instant. The boy who was just flirting and nose booping the candy beside him, stopped instantly. A thin line appeared on his lips while his orbs shifted. His hand wavered at the girl’s face before retracing back to the table.

Minseok didn’t feel anything when his cousin’s dark brown orbs glided to his face. He was not afraid of Kim Seokjin. They were family. Although, he was afraid of the crazy, maniac glint that had appeared in the younger’s eyes.

“It’s simple.” The boy replied, pinning his elder with his steely gaze. “I want my investment back.”

Minseok shook his head in denial. There was something that his cousin wasn’t telling him.

“No... I don’t believe you.” He countered, crossing his arms over his chest. His cousin’s head tilted in question. “Jin, I know you since you were little. All these years, even before that night, you refused to touch the company. You never tried to take over it. Not even the boys could change your mind. Infact, you helped it grow, stuffing its body with heaps of money, connections, assets and power. It has been your very own giant teddy bear for the past ten years. And now suddenly, you decided that you want your teddy back?”

A flicker of smile appeared on his younger cousin’s face. The blonde boy stretched his lips wider and wider, until he was laughing. There was a dark undertone to his windshield laugh.

“Oh hyung... you’re so observant.” The man spoke. “Is it too bad to have my teddy back in my arms again?” He asked, cuddling to the Candies beside him. But this time, his touch was a little rough and the girls felt it. But they still continued to smile.

“Jin, I’m serious.” Minseok warned. “What the hell are you planning?”

“You make me seem like a bad guy, hyung.”

“You are the bad guy, Jin.”

Minseok was truly worried for the golden company. The boy infront of him wasn’t the same boy anymore. He was being selfish. Lee Enterprise was the last thing that remained of Yoona. He can’t let the boy destroy it just like that. Atleast, not without a valid reason.

The grip on the two girls’s shoulders was increasing in strength. Their smiles were faltering with every passing second. Soon, they were squirming in his grip.

“Jin, you are hurting them.” Minseok warned, noticing the two girls’s discomfort.

The blonde boy instantly loosened his grip on them. He looked shockingly at his two candies and then at his elder cousin.

“I’m sorry, Hyung.” He apologised. “I didn’t realise what I was doing.” He then looked at his two candies with a mocking pout gracing his lips. “I’m sorry, girls. Please don’t hate me. I didn’t mean too. I’m not the bad guy. I just got lost there for a second.”

The female companions were spooked by his suddenly weird behaviour. But none-the-less they nodded and continued to snuggle up to him.

However, the guard behind them looked depressed. He shook his head in defeat before walking off to make a quick call to the owner of ‘Dream Glow’ for a very heart-filled apology and the scene that’s about to be happened.

“Jin...” Minseok called out. He was not going to give up.

“Hyung...” The boy looked up.

“Please Jin, whatever you are planning, just drop it. Yoona will not be happy.”

A sudden chill dropped around them. At the mention of the dead girl, his cousin’s features changed. The dark brown eyes turned moist and a broken, pained look appeared in them. Minseok regretted saying the name.

“I think you should leave, hyung.” The boy spoke, biting his bottom lip. “And again, I apologise for the rude behaviour.”

“But jin—” the elder stopped. He didn’t dare to go against the evil glint that has appeared in his cousin’s eyes.

“Go enjoy with Kai.”

And he did. Not the enjoying part, but he did leave the booth, ignoring the loud cries of pain from the girls that followed after.

God bless their souls.

 Tag List: @demonic-meatball​ , @youtube-obsessed-duh​ , @trinityautumn​

[bighound-littlebird]

Sansa's Dreams in ASoiaF

the prayer by bubug

A Game of Thrones - Sansa III

"I had a dream that Joffrey would be the one to take the white hart," she said. It had been more of a wish, actually, but it sounded better to call it a dream. Everyone knew that dreams were prophetic. White harts were supposed to be very rare and magical, and in her heart she knew her gallant prince was worthier than his drunken father.

"A dream? Truly? Did Prince Joffrey just go up to it and touch it with his bare hand and do it no harm?"

"No," Sansa said. "He shot it with a golden arrow and brought it back for me." In the songs, the knights never killed magical beasts, they just went up to them and touched them and did them no harm, but she knew Joffrey liked hunting, especially the killing part. Only animals, though. Sansa was certain her prince had no part in murdering Jory and those other poor men; that had been his wicked uncle, the Kingslayer. 

A Game of Thrones - Sansa III

It was midday when Septa Mordane knocked upon her door. "Sansa. Your lord father will see you now."

Sansa sat up. "Lady," she whispered. For a moment it was as if the direwolf was there in the room, looking at her with those golden eyes, sad and knowing. She had been dreaming, she realized. Lady was with her, and they were running together, and … and … trying to remember was like trying to catch the rain with her fingers. The dream faded, and Lady was dead again.

A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV

That night Sansa dreamt of Joffrey on the throne, with herself seated beside him in a gown of woven gold. She had a crown on her head, and everyone she had ever known came before her, to bend the knee and say their courtesies.

A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV

What did they mean to do to her? What had they done to her father? It was not supposed to happen this way. She had to wed Joffrey, they were betrothed, he was promised to her, she had even dreamed about it. It wasn't fair to take him away from her on account of whatever her father might have done.

A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI

She dreamt of footsteps on the tower stair, an ominous scraping of leather on stone as a man climbed slowly toward her bedchamber, step by step. All she could do was huddle behind her door and listen, trembling, as he came closer and closer. It was Ser Ilyn Payne, she knew, coming for her with Ice in his hand, coming to take her head. There was no place to run, no place to hide, no way to bar the door. Finally the footsteps stopped and she knew he was just outside, standing there silent with his dead eyes and his long pocked face. That was when she realized she was naked. She crouched down, trying to cover herself with her hands, as her door began to swing open, creaking, the point of the greatsword poking through …

She woke murmuring, "Please, please, I'll be good, I'll be good, please don't," but there was no one to hear.

A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI

Sometimes her sleep was leaden and dreamless, and she woke from it more tired than when she had closed her eyes. Yet those were the best times, for when she dreamed, she dreamed of Father. Waking or sleeping, she saw him, saw the gold cloaks fling him down, saw Ser Ilyn striding forward, unsheathing Ice from the scabbard on his back, saw the moment … the moment when … she had wanted to look away, she had wanted to, her legs had gone out from under her and she had fallen to her knees, yet somehow she could not turn her head, and all the people were screaming and shouting, and her prince had smiled at her, he'd smiled and she'd felt safe, but only for a heartbeat, until he said those words, and her father's legs … that was what she remembered, his legs, the way they'd jerked when Ser Ilyn … when the sword …

A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV

Sansa dug her nails into her hand. She could feel the fear in her tummy, twisting and pinching, worse every day. Nightmares of the day Princess Myrcella had sailed still troubled her sleep; dark suffocating dreams that woke her in the black of night, struggling for breath. She could hear the people screaming at her, screaming without words, like animals. They had hemmed her in and thrown filth at her and tried to pull her off her horse, and would have done worse if the Hound had not cut his way to her side. They had torn the High Septon to pieces and smashed in Ser Aron's head with a rock. 

A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV

That night Sansa dreamed of the riot again. The mob surged around her, shrieking, a maddened beast with a thousand faces. Everywhere she turned she saw faces twisted into monstrous inhuman masks. She wept and told them she had never done them hurt, yet they dragged her from her horse all the same. "No," she cried, "no, please, don't, don't," but no one paid her any heed. She shouted for Ser Dontos, for her brothers, for her dead father and her dead wolf, for gallant Ser Loras who had given her a red rose once, but none of them came. She called for the heroes from the songs, for Florian and Ser Ryam Redwyne and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, but no one heard. Women swarmed over her like weasels, pinching her legs and kicking her in the belly, and someone hit her in the face and she felt her teeth shatter. Then she saw the bright glimmer of steel. The knife plunged into her belly and tore and tore and tore, until there was nothing left of her down there but shiny wet ribbons.

A Storm of Swords - Sansa II

In Sansa's dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya.

A Storm of Swords - Sansa II

Once she dreamed it was still her marrying Joff, not Margaery, and on their wedding night he turned into the headsman Ilyn Payne. She woke trembling. She did not want Margaery to suffer as she had, but she dreaded the thought that the Tyrells might refuse to go ahead with the wedding. I warned her, I did, I told her the truth of him. Perhaps Margaery did not believe her. Joff always played the perfect knight with her, as once he had with Sansa.

A Storm of Swords - Sansa III

It was not supposed to be this way. She had dreamed of her wedding a thousand times, and always she had pictured how her betrothed would stand behind her tall and strong, sweep the cloak of his protection over her shoulders, and tenderly kiss her cheek as he leaned forward to fasten the clasp.

A Storm of Swords - Sansa IV

That was such a sweet dream, Sansa thought drowsily. She had been back in Winterfell, running through the godswood with her Lady. Her father had been there, and her brothers, all of them warm and safe. If only dreaming could make it so . . .

A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI

The other remained, looming over Sansa in the darkness. "Lord Petyr said watch out for you." It was Lothor Brune's voice, she realized. Not the Hound's, no, how could it be? Of course it had to be Lothor . . .

That night Sansa scarcely slept at all, but tossed and turned just as she had aboard the Merling King. She dreamt of Joffrey dying, but as he clawed at his throat and the blood ran down across his fingers she saw with horror that it was her brother Robb. And she dreamed of her wedding night too, of Tyrion's eyes devouring her as she undressed. Only then he was bigger than Tyrion had any right to be, and when he climbed into the bed his face was scarred only on one side. "I'll have a song from you," he rasped, and Sansa woke and found the old blind dog beside her once again. "I wish that you were Lady," she said.

A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII

She awoke all at once, every nerve atingle. For a moment she did not remember where she was. She had dreamt that she was little, still sharing a bedchamber with her sister Arya. But it was her maid she heard tossing in sleep, not her sister, and this was not Winterfell, but the Eyrie. And I am Alayne Stone, a bastard girl. The room was cold and black, though she was warm beneath the blankets. Dawn had not yet come. Sometimes she dreamed of Ser Ilyn Payne and woke with her heart thumping, but this dream had not been like that. Home. It was a dream of home.

[ohtheseboysilove]

Sexy panties to dirty nappies III/? [ Ben Hardy x F!Reader ]

Words : 3, 300 K +

Warnings : language, pregnancy, fluff, nervous futur parents, cute dog, smut,

Summary : Reader is eight months pregnant. The only problem ? She just find out. Yep, pregancy denial. Now they only got a month to be ready for the baby. Ready…steady…go !

Note : enjoy the fluffiest family ;)))

🌼Requests are open 🌼  ☀ Masterlist ☀

(these plumpy red lips damn...)

@/ none of these gifs are mine xx

On sunday morning you forced Ben to go out of the bed for his rugby practise. He whined a bit, his eyes swollen by the sleep mumbling that he wanted to sleep longer. But you also knew he would regret to miss his practise, he loved playing rugby and it was his way to decompress after the weekdays. Usually you would tag along a bit later, watching half of his match and even if you were tired, the reward of seeing Ben in his thigh rugby clothes, sweaty and beaming with happiness was worth it. Every fucking time. But today you would stay here, sleeping in with Frankie. First because you didn’t want to be the freak of the day in front of Ben’s friends and their girlfriends, you didn’t have the strength for all the explanation that would obviously been asked. And secondly because usually the lunch after the practise was composed of greasy kebab and beers, lot of beers. Nothing for you.

“Sure you okay with me going, babe ?” Ben was sit on the edge of the bed, his hand caressing your jaw.

You hummed lazily at this nice feeling, your eyes closed as you trying to not let the sleep get away from your body. You wanted to fall back before the baby wake up and ruined all ideas of sleep-in.

“Alright, I’m not going to stay to long with the lads, love you babe” He pecked your lips and pressed another one on your clothed tummy. “Love you too” then he put a last one on Frankie’s wet nose, nuzzling next to you. “And I love too Frank’” he stood up and smiled sweetly at the sight. “I do love all my girls”

You murmured a we love you too Benny before falling back asleep.

                                                  *****************

When you woke up again, it was around lunch time and were literally starving. You ate the rest of the pasta and a full bowl of Greek yoghurt with citrus and mint, satisfying – for now – your giant appetite.  You spent the next hour or so, chilling in your bath, giving some rest to your swollen and sore feet, your knees were poorly too as they were suddenly submitted at a heavy weight on them. You texted Ben to not forget to buy the pregnancy vitamins that your doctor prescribed you. You also texted your closest friends for a little get-together sometime during the week, they all agreed as they didn’t see you or had a lot of news during these past days, you weren’t very excited to tell but it would be done at least. Your family and Ben’s gonna be the worst. They would be happy, probably but you could easily see them invading your sweet little peaceful life with Ben and Frankie, everyone gonna want to be around to see the newest and surprising member of the family.

“Hi there” Ben’s raspy voice made you open your eyes lazily, glancing at him from the bathtub. “How are my girls doing ?”

He was sweaty and knees covered with green marks from his slides on the grass during practise but still looked good. As always.

“My feet are killing me but except that, we’re pretty fine” You replied without moving as Ben was peeling his clothes off. “How was the training ?”

“Awesome, I told them about the baby and all, everyone offered beers for the happy event” He winked and slid in the bath, on the other side of it. Thankfully the bathtub was large, one of the reason that you and Ben picked this nice flat when you decided to move in together.

“Sound fun” You pouted a little bit envious.

He grabbed one of your feet and gentle massaged it as well as your swollen ankle, thanks to the baby weight. You sighed deeply, letting your head fall to the side, savouring the skilled fingers of Ben, which were rather efficient to relax your muscles. After few minutes he replaced his fingers by his lips, kissing softly your ankle. His mouth travelled on your legs as he came closer to you, his eyes staring at your relaxed face, something that didn’t happen often since the all baby surprise thing.

“Ben” You opened an eye when you felt his teeth grazing gently at your skin’s neck, one of his hand cupping cheekily your breast. “Whatcha doing ?” He was next to you, well the most he could, to reach your upper body as your swollen belly was a bit in his way, he didn’t look really comfortable but he was rather determined.

“Just helping you relax baby” He murmured against your skin, his fingers toying gently your hard nipple. You moaned involuntary loudly, surprising the both of you. “Well, bigger boobs and more sensitive, I definitely like that” smirked the blond as he bended and licked the space between your breasts, teasing you gently.

“Shit, Ben” You grabbed his hairs and pushed him toward your needy nipple, silently asking him to take care of it. “Missed your mouth” You breathed harshly, the sensitivity of your tits mixed with the fact that Ben didn’t touch for a week were too much to handle it reasonably.

“Missed you too baby” He gave you a last lick on your tit and get off the bath, grinning at your whining. “Come on, must continued that on the bed, I can’t do anything with your big belly right now” He helped you stand up, wrapping an arm around your waist, making sure you were safely on your two feet.

He draped a clean white towel around your shoulders and went behind you to dry your hairs, you sent him a sweet smile and you did the same with your body.

Once it was done, he dragged you to the bedroom and you carefully rest on your back, exposing your full naked frame to your boyfriend. He dropped on his knees and put gentle kisses on the inside of your thighs, thumbs massaging softly your bare skin. You sighed lowly, spreading your legs wider as his mouth came closer to your throbbing core. You raised your head a bit to watch Ben, it was probably your favourite view – head buried between your thigh – but right now, the only thing you could see from your boyfriend was a mop of blond hairs, the rest of his head hiding behind your swollen belly.

“Ben, can’t see you, it’s weird” You complained and wiggled a bit your lower body, trying to catch a glance of him.

“I’m right here baby, do not worry” His muffled voice answered and one of his hand blindly moved to meet yours, interlaced your fingers together.

His mouth reached your clit and gently sucked it, waves of pleasure crashing through your body. It did felt good, very good. When his fingers started moving inside you, pumping in and out in a slow pace, you were moaning and whining loudly but you could shake off the weird feeling from your mind. Not seeing Ben made you nervous. It was silly but it felt less...intimate ? Like it could have been anyone between your legs, just a mouth eating you out. Plus, only seeing your round belly wasn’t the most arousing thing ever. Ben seemed to have some struggles too, his forehead pressing against your lower belly to reach your wet center but he couldn’t stop moving your legs, trying to find a position where he could eating you out properly. It wasn’t easy and you couldn’t do much to help him.

“Ben, Benny, stop please” You tugged gently on his hairs, catching his attention. His head peaked above your bump, looking questioningly at you. “I don’t like that. I can’t see you and it make me uncomfortable” You explained, your cheeks flushed and a sore neck as you were raising your head to see him from your laying position.

“We don’t have to do anything baby, it’s fine” He murmured with a soft smile and crawled in the bed, sitting next to you.

“But I want to” You whined with pouty lips. “I really want your mouth, love. It’s so unfair” You sighed dramatically and closed your thighs as your throbbing clit was begging for more attention.

“Well, you can sit on my face, darling. You know how much I love when you do that”

“Ben ! I’m gonna crush you !” You shook your head and he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be ridiculous (Y/N), you’re not gonna hurt me” But you kept shaking negatively your head. “Alright then I can still fuck you, if you want” He wiggled his eyebrows and you bit your lips, the tingling in your lower body was back and tighter than before.

“I would love that Benny” Your fingers travelled on his bare chest, drawing his perfect abs.

But rather than taking care of you, he grabbed his phone from the night table and scrolled through his screen, brows furrowed in concentration.

“What are you doing babe ?” You questioned as your hand lowered to his semi-hard shaft, stroking him lazily.

“Fuck I– oh...baby...I’m looking for the safest sex positions online” You smirked at his full-daddy-mode activated and his cheeks reddened brighter. “What ? I don’t want to hurt you or the baby” He whined when you moved your hand away from his now hard cock but ignored him and pressed a kiss on his parted lips.

“You’re cute” He smiled shyly and glanced back to the screen. “Found something interesting ?” You looked at his phone and giggled at the drawing of the different sexual positions for pregnant women. “It said that we can still do the doggy style if I put a pillow under my belly” You were ready to stand on your knees but he caught your wrist, tugging you toward him.

“Mm, don’t want to do this one” He frowned, still looking on his screen. “It’s too rough for the baby, I think”

You rolled your eyes and sighed annoyingly. “Ben, baby, I really need you right now and I do love the doggy style” You nibbled gently at his earlobe to convince.

“I know you do love” A shitty-grin painted on his plump lips and one of his hand cupped your closest breast, distracting you momentarily from your goal as you moan quietly at his sudden touch. “Gimme two minutes, gonna find something for you to be more comfortable. No need to kill your back.” He showed you a picture. “What about you ride me ? It’s safe and I’m not gonna crush your tummy”

“No, it’s not funny. I can’t ride you properly if I can’t move like I want” You pouted and he get back to his research, his teeth grazing impatiently his lower lip. “I can’t believe we looking how to have sex rather than...I don’t know, preparing the guest room for the baby” You commented, an amused smile brightening your features.

“We cannot think rationally if we’re horny babe.” He winked and locked his phone, putting back on the night table. “We...” He gentle rolled you on your side, your back facing him. “Gonna spooning. Easiest and safest”

“If you say so Ben but you better put aside the foreplay if you don’t want me to fall asleep in the middle of our steamy time” Before he could chat back, you cut him with a cheeky smile. “I wasn’t implying that you were boring Benny, and certainly not in bed but carrying a tiny human is exhausting, I need short naps during the day babe”

“Alright woman, I will be quick” His mouth attacked your shoulder as his hand grabbed his shaft, rubbing it teasingly against your wet fold.

You gruntled at the sensation, good but clearly not enough. You wiggled your ass against in lower half, earning a biting on your thin skin but he finally complained and pushed slowly inside you. His length was deliciously stretching your walls, both of your breathing increasing roughly, his hand was grabbing firmly on your hips.

“Oh...Ben, feel good” You murmured and put a hand on one of your pillow, bringing back against you too clung onto it, your face buried into it as you let noises of pleasure fell from your mouth. His thrusts were still slow and careful, you could feel him tensed behind you as he was controlling himself to not fuck you harder and rougher like he usually do when he needed to be quick. “Ben, seriously, you can go faster babe” You squeezed the hand on your hip, giving him the green light.

“Sure ‘m not gonna hurt the baby?” He mumbled against your neck.

“Ben, baby, you maybe are quite well-hung but there no chance your dick is big enough to make any damage, so go on” You felt his chest vibrated with a laugh then his pace speeded up, moving your leg wider to have a better access of your g-spot. “Shit, right there Benny !”

The only sounds in the room were wet noises of skin slapping against each other, moans of pleasure and soft whimpering, both of your orgasms building slowly. Your eyes were rolling in the back of your head, completely lost as the pressure in your lower body was burning every inches of your frame. At some point between a pinching on your tit and a kiss on your sweaty neck, his hand found his way back to your clit, adding more loudness to your groans. His name was falling uncontrollably from your agape mouth, praising and encouraging him to speed up the circling on your clit.

“Baby, you’re– shit...clenching around me so hard...please tell me you’re almost there” He chocked out between heavy breathings, his head nuzzling onto your back, kissing sloppily your shoulder blades.

“‘most there Ben” You only managed to let out before your orgasm hit you like a tone of brick, leaving you as a whimpering and sweaty mess.

Ben came few seconds after you, (Y/N) and a lot of swearing words echoing through the bedroom, his arm lazily wrapped around your frame, head resting on your cheek as he stole a kiss on the corner of your lips.

“See, told you spooning wasn’t boring” He winked and giggled sleepily, your legs were a bit sore but you were well satisfied. “Love you darling”

“Love you too Benny” You whined a bit when he pulled out but he immediately wrapped his arms from behind you, holding you close. His mouth was pressing light kisses on your hairs and you wished you could stay like this forever. But, unfortunately, your condition of eight-months pregnant woman won’t allow that. “Ben, babe ?”

“What ?” He mumbled lazily as his breathing was slowing down, not far away to fall asleep.

“I love cuddling with you but I really need to pee” You murmured with bright red cheeks.

He chuckled against your head, leaving one last kiss before freeing you from his warm embrace. “You’re so romantic baby”

                                           ***************

Few hours later you were back on your bed, laptop next to you as you were scrolling into the different sections of baby clothes, waiting for Ben to come back from his walk with Frankie. You could have go with them but you were a bit – completely – terrified about all the paparazzi looking for a gossip about your famous boyfriend. He wasn’t constantly followed, thanks god they still didn’t find your flat, but if someone recognised him in the street, it could cause few troubles and the last thing you wanted was to be trap in a crowd of flashes and screams.

When Ben and Frankie came back they sat next to you and the blond swap your laptop, putting it on his lap, for a strawberry donut placed in your hand. You thanked him and bit happily, humming contently at the delicious taste.

“Did you find some interesting clothes ?” He slid one of his arm around your shoulder and you moved closer to him, head resting on his chest.

“Mm, yes but there so many to buy. We need bodysuits, tops and...oh ! Look at these tiny socks, jesus, it’s endless Ben.”

“I know but you can’t let the baby bare bottom all day, can we ?” You chuckled and asking to ad a cute yellow dress with ladybugs on it. “Plus, I’m sure our families and friends gonna spoiled this little one, we should buy the strict necessity. The baby gonna grow up quickly anyway”

In the end you were pretty proud of you, a rather wise shopping with only things you really needed for the baby. Alright, you maybe buy three or four clothes more because it was cute than for there necessity but it was more than fine for newest parents like the both of you. Ben completely fell for an adorable grey and fluffy jacket, perfect for the windy and cold winter of London, with a hood embellished with two bunny’s ears. After a reasonable amount of shoes, gloves, pants, dress and other clothes, ordered you felt a little bit lighter. Another thing done for the baby’s arrival.

                                                *************

“Why do we have so many useless things in here ?” Ben whined as both you looked at the mess in the guest room. The sofa-bed was in the corner of the room, usually for when your friends where too drunk to go home. Few boxes of clothes that you were supposed to give to charity shop months ago. A massive plush beagle you won for Ben at a funfair somewhere during you first year of dating. This giant mirror you had got two months ago but which ended in here quickly as every night you were scared by your own reflection during the night. Ben would probably never stop teasing you about this one.

“I don’t know and I’m fucking useless” You sighed and sat on the rocking chair, gift from your mom when you and Ben moved in your new flat. She was already thinking about her grandchildren, well, at least, now it would be useful. “Why did we kept the empty beer advent calendar we bought last Christmas ?

He shrugged and started opening the large bin bag, putting random useless things in it, his brows furrowed in concentration. He did look cute like that. You gasped loudly when you felt curious movements in your lower abdomen.

“You’re okay ?” The blond immediately crouched at your level, his eyes glued to yours, his pretty features twisted in worry.

“Yes” You giggled and took his hand in yours, sliding them on your round belly. “I think the baby got hiccup” You murmured as you rested your hands right above where you felt your daughter moving with a soft smile.

You both stayed still, in silent until she hiccuping again, making you and Ben giggled happily.

“This is so fucking cute” He dropped on his knees before raised delicately your top and pressing his ear on your bare belly. Always gentle and careful. The baby hiccuped again and Ben’ smile widened, his thumb rubbing softly your swollen abdomen. “My poor girl, I know it’s super annoying. Daddy become crazy when it got it too” He cooed like a mother hen and you brushed back his hairs, looking adoringly at him.

“I saw in a movie that it’s because the baby is learning how to breath in my tummy” You explained as Ben pressed a light kiss on the top on your swollen skin. “I’m not gonna lie, it’s a pretty weird feeling”

“Alright, baby. Daddy’s gonna help here, come on you need to take a deep breath and then hold it for few seconds, just like that” Ben spoke right to your belly and even if was speaking to the baby, you did the same. “Inspire and expire...slowly baby” He did too as you were gently rubbing your belly, trying to relax the breathing of your daughter.

After two minutes of the little exercise the baby’s hiccup stop.

“It worked !” Ben exclaimed with sparkles in his greenish eyes. “Well done little Jones, already so smart like her mummy”

You giggled softly, it was probably a coincidence that the hiccup stopped in the same time but you kept your mouth shut, you wouldn’t took away the feeling of pride that was irradiating from Ben at this exact moment.

                                                      ****************

[queenmaracasandlove]

You Make Me Cry - Joe Mazzello x F!Reader - SMUT

Word Count: +:-3100

Summary: You finally watch Bohemian Rhapsody but you cry quite a lot and the next morning your eyes are overly puffy. He makes fun of you and has his very own way to make you feel better (wink wink)

Warnings: Oral sex, swearing

A/N: So… This is very stupid and not my best work but it was kind of inspired by a story: mine, because I’m a complete mess. Except I just had to get on with my ridiculous face and go to work and uni… Tell me what you think :D 

MASTERLIST

Permanent taglist: @reedusteinrambles

You and Joe had not been dating for long, only a few months but it was going great. You had met while he was filming Bohemian Rhapsody. You were a huge fan of the band and you had managed to be an extra in one of the scenes just so you could be part of the experience. You were only on set for two days but he had come to ask for your number and things had started this way.

Because of your work back in London you had not been able to join him for the premiere and you never had seen the film even when it was in theatres, you just could not. It would have made you miss him too much to see him on the big screen while he was on the other side of the ocean. You had waited until you would be together or at least not to far so you could tell him all about your feelings right away. You had joined him in his N.Y. home during your holidays, you had not seen him for a while. He tried to come and see you as much as he could but it wasn’t that easy. 

Because of the jet lag you had woken up in the middle of the night, slowly sneaking out of bed. You did not want to wake him and watched him sleep for a few minutes. He looked so calm when he was asleep, so peaceful. You suddenly wished you could wake up to that sight every time you wanted to. Feeling that you were not going to get back to sleep just yet you went to the living room. You helped yourself with a glass of orange juice and looked at the different shelves, he had quite an impressive collection of DVDs. You found the BoRhap one and decided that it was probably time to watch it. 

Queen meant so much to you and it had for so long. You had grown up listening to their music and Freddie Mercury had always been one of your heroes. So from the start you knew this movie was not going to be easy for you to watch because you clearly knew how it ended. You were such a softy and cried very easily so somehow you were happy to watch it while Joe was still asleep. You decided to watch it on your computer so you could put your earphones on and not make any noise. The last thing you wanted was to be disturbed during your viewing.

                                                   -------------------

You were now a complete mess. The film had not ended yet but your were crying your heart out, tears pouring down on your cheeks. You were completely sobbing. In fact your were not even watching the movie anymore because the tears were completely blurring your vision. You were not even trying to be over dramatic, you were just crushed by your feelings and your love for Freddie Mercury, amazed by his talent and angry at his destiny. You had so many comments to make about the movie but clearly it was still good enough to make you feel that much emotions.

You had tried to be as silent as possible but because of the earphones you had not realise that your sobs had resonated in the silent flat. It was the final scene, the Live Aid concert and you tried to compose yourself, hardly succeeding. Your nose was completely red and your eyes were hurting from so much crying and even as the credits started to roll, your eyes were still wet. You closed your laptop and took out the earphones. You had to take a minute to get it all in. It was just a movie, and an inaccurate one but some things were also true, and not the most pleasing ones.

You were finally able to calm down when you heard someone laughing behind you and that scared you to death.

“That’s probably the funniest thing I’ve ever seen but also the cutest” Joe said, looking at you

You turned back in shock and frowned immediately. You saw him hiding his phone behind his back and were pretty sure he had taken a picture of you ugly crying. You would have liked to say something but you were still controlling the emotions running through you. Seeing that you were still recovering and truly affected your boyfriend smiled and came to take you in his arms. It was nothing bad or awful but there was real sadness in you. It was like saying goodbye to an old friend, Freddie Mercury had been such a role model for you during your entire life. You enjoyed the hug and buried your face in Joe’s chest.

“I’d never thought you’d react like that. I’ve seen you crying in front of stupid things but that is something else”

That made you laugh a little. He had already made fun of you once as you had teared but in front of some reality tv show, just because it involved a grandpa and that made you weaker than anything.

“It’s just. You know Freddie and all. I’m too sensitive”

“I know. That’s sweet, don’t worry about it” he said, kissing the top of your head

You suddenly realised that you were probably looking like a big mess and you tried to wipe your face in your sleeves.

“You know that’s my sweater you’re wearing right?” Joe asked

“Not anymore”

“Well… Not like I want it back now that it’s got your snort all over it”

“It’s called tears Joe. And you’d better get used to it, I’m a big thief”

“I know that. You already stole my heart hey”

He didn’t care that you were looking like a complete mess between the crying and the lack of sleep, he found you cute anyway, beautiful even. He loved how sensitive you were and not afraid to show your emotions. You pecked his lips softly, so happy to have him in your life. You were at peace now that you were in his arms. The distance between the two of you was not making things easy but you were dealing with it in the best way that you could. You knew his life was here and that was fine. You might be considering moving across the Pond one day but it was too early. As much as you loved him you did not want to get ahead of yourself.

“Joe?”

“Yes babe?”

“I know you’ve taken pictures. Don’t you even dare put them on social media am I clear?”

He pretended to be offended although you knew just looking at him that you were right. You had agreed on becoming public a few weeks ago but that did not mean you wanted to have your crying face all over the internet. As he was not answering you pointed your finger at him.

“Am I clear Joseph Francis Mazzello III?”

“But..”

“No but. Just think about it one more time and my ass will be on the next plane back to London”

“Okay. What about I don’t put anything online and your grinch self just goes with me to bed. It’s the middle of the night and I would love to spend some time with my girlfriend during the day while she’s here so we better go back to sleep now.”

You would have loved to argue but you knew he was completely right. You were knackered and you had to fight the jet lag if you wanted to be able to be awake and do some sightseeing with Joe as he promised you. After all it was your first time in New York and you wanted to make the most out of it and of your time with your boyfriend.  You got up with him and followed him in the bedroom. You rubbed your eyes a few times, getting rid of all that was left before spooning Joe with much strength. He loved how needy you were sometimes. He grabbed your hands that were around his chest and kissed them before saying “goodnighté. You could barely believe that you were here with him, you were so happy. Feeling him against your tummy helped you fall asleep in a matter of a few minutes, trying not to think about how sad you were a moment ago. It was a movie but this was your reality and it was so great.

                                                   -------------------

You woke up a few hours later, the bed empty next to you. Your eyelids felt so heavy but you thought that was because of the lack of sleep. You really needed to pee so you went to the bathroom before even looking for Joe who was probably doing his own stuff in the living room. You quickly did what you had to and went to wash your hands. As you looked up in the mirror to see how much damaged you were before you let out a scream.

“Babe, what’s going on?” you heard Joe asking and running in your direction

You put your face closer to the mirror, trying to see what was going on. Your eyes were incredibly puffy, like nothing you had seen before. They were so swollen that you were a little frightened by it. It did not hurt and you could see perfectly but that was kind of upsetting.

“Y/N are you ok? Can I come in?”

You opened the door to him and waited to see his reaction. You were not disappointed to say the least. At first he seemed really shocked, frowning and shaking his head but as soon as he saw how done you were he started laughing.

“Don’t you fucking dare Joe. It’s not funny. I look like Steve Buscemi and it’s just not right”

You probably should not have made that comparison because he was now in stitches. You would have rolled your eyes if you could but that was not the best of ideas but you started laughing too because of how ridiculous the situation was.

“For the love of me” you sighed

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” Joe asked, calming down

“It’s fine. I think my eyes did not react to well to the tears from last night”

“Is it the first time that happens to you?”

“Yes it is, and it better be the last”

He asked you if you needed to see a doctor but really you didn’t. It wasn’t going to ruin the day you had both planned, they were so rare that you had to cherish them. Joe invited you to follow him in the kitchen for breakfast. He had cooked for you and you were quite impressed by it. As you were putting a dash of milk in your tea you saw him trying to take a picture of you discreetly.

“Are you serious?” you asked, squinting your bulging eyes

“Come on! This is way too hilarious for me not to make sure I have a picture of it”

“Who are you planning to send it to?” you inquired

“I may have sent it to the BoRhap group chat…” he admitted

You put your fist right in front of you mouth, falsely exasperated by his attitude.

“I asked you not…”

“Not to put anything on social media, and I didn’t.. Come on babe, they had to see this”

“Well they are partially responsible for it aren’t they?” you nodded

He put on a face clearly saying that it was not completely false. You tried to ignore the fact that he was sharing your puffy face with everybody and went on with breakfast. The scrambled eggs were really good and he had bought some fresh bagels just for you. You found it sweet.

“So? What did you think of the movie? Did you see yourself? I know you’re not on screen for very long but I was really proud when I saw you”

“Well I certainly should have won an Academy Award for my acting, I was clearly incredible” you joked

“It was not hard to pretend that you were in awe with the band when I was on stage babe”

“Well, I must admit seeing Ben half naked right in front of me during ‘39 made it easier for me, I’m so sad it wasn’t included in the move”

“Excuse me?”

You had been an extra in the audience for a concert scene. They had shot several songs but not all of them had been included in the final work. You raised your eyebrows, obviously teasing Joe as you were insinuating that you had ogled Ben Hardy during shooting. He was making fun of you since last night, you could at least return the favour a little.

“Well, I did not remember Roger Taylor being that muscular but clearly I did not mind the choice of actor at all” you went on

Joe was now in front on you as you were sitting on the stool in front of the kitchen counter looking puzzled.

“I did not know Roger Taylor was your favourite member of the band” he said

“Oh it’s Freddie you know that. But I was not talking about the original members”

“You know Ben’s heart already taken right? Don’t you even dare come close to him”

You opened your mouth, that was not the answer you were expecting. He was not jealous for the reasons you wanted, he was overprotective of his beloved co-star. He could be so annoying sometimes because he always wanted to have the last word and so did you. You put your tongue over your front teeth, you would not let him win this little game.

“Why didn’t you ask him to join you instead of me then?” you enquired

“Well. The poor thing is killing himself at work… Too busy” he sighed

“He would have been such better company”

He was about to answer to that but you were up and took your shirt off in front of his very own eyes, lazily before throwing it on the floor. He did not understand right away what you were doing. You did not feel especially sexy with your puffy eyes but you were hoping that weeks of no physical contact would help you and the little act you were trying to pull on.

“I’m sure he does not leave his clothes everywhere right”

Joe was speechless but enjoying the show. Your pyjama shorts were now also on the floor leaving you only in your panties. You could clearly see the lust in his eyes and that was exactly what you wanted.

“Oh and I’m probably not as good looking as this good old Ben…”

“Babe, trust me you have much more to offer than my good old lad”

“Is that so?” you asked, trying to look innocent “Because if you think he can take better care of you than I can…”

You slowly came back to him, one hand on his chest when the other was slowly going down inside his tracksuit, playing with his cock above the fabric of his boxer. Your bare chest was against his and you could feel him hardening just at the touch. You started kissing him, slowly biting on his lower lip.

“He clearly can’t”

“Perfect then that’s settled”

And just like that you went back to breakfast. You were starting to get wet and you knew this was not over but you wanted to enjoy the game as much as you could.

“Really?” he whined

“You’ve been nasty” you simply replied

“And now you’re being cruel”

Before you could take a bit of your bagel, his hand was on your wrist and his mouth on your collar bone. That felt so good, you could feel his warm breath on your naked skin and that turned you on even more. He went down on your chest, drawing circles around your tits with his tongue, your nipple now hard because of the pleasure he was giving you.

“Joe, that feels so good” you whispered

You wrapped your legs around his hips as you were back to kissing, feeling his bulge against your core. He grabbed you under your butt and put you on the counter, his tongue teasing yours gently. You felt your panties sliding along your legs as he lowered himself. He slowly started kissing your inner thigh, and that felt amazing. He bit in a little, making you moan. The marble of the counter felt so cold against your burning skin but suddenly all you could feel was the touch of Joe’s thumb on your clit.

He started playing with it and he was really good at doing this. You closed your eyes, overwhelmed by the feeling. He went faster and you started to ask him to go on, making sure he knew how good he made you feel. He massaged your inner thigh with his other hand, without stopping  what he was doing. You could feel him grinning against you as you were whining because of the pleasure. You knew he loved to be in control and to make you feel good in all the possible ways. You could feel that you were close and your fingers eventually grabbed his hair has he approached his tongue to your clit to replace his finger, now going inside you.

“Fuck Joe ! I’m so close”

You did not need much more, he pumped a little, making sure that your clit was still taken care off. He barely had the time to find the perfect angle with his fingers that your body started to tense completely. You arched your back, overwhelmed by the sensation. 

“Cum for me babe” he asked

And you happily obliged, reaching your orgasm and out of breath. He went up again and smiled at you, helping you getting down.

“So, can we now finish breakfast before you introduce me to the big apple?” you finally said

"Really?”

“If we start now, I’m never going to see the city. But I promise I’ll be all yours tonight” you winked

“Alright I guess...”

You almost wanted to skip the tourism part of your stay and go on with it but you really wanted to see the city. Joe did not have to worry because this morning was just a taste of what you had planned for the two of you. You both finished breakfast, took a shower together and got yourself ready for the most perfect day in New York City. You sneakily took one of his pair of sunglasses to hide your still puffy eyes and he noticed immediately as he opened the door for you.

“Alright Steve Buscemi let’s go”

You laughed and kissed him before he closed the door and grabbed your hand as you felt happier than you had been in ages.

[cardshcrp]

FIVE TIMES KISSED

FIVE TIMES KISSED.

@prctettcre // BILL WEASLEY // always selectively accepting !

                                                                                                                     i.

         So it isn’t his most graceful moment in the world when he yelps and nearly topples right off his seat, but that’s just what happens when someone pops up when you’re half-dozing, which he’d been plenty guilty of. Bill hardly notices, swings himself right onto the bench to face Remy, straddling the wood as he details his latest escapade. 

Remy’s groggy brain finally catches up, realizes it’s the boy he’s spoken to a few times, can tentatively call a friend even if it’s only been a couple of weeks since he’d arrived. And maybe it’s the sunshine keeping him drowsy enough to forget that not everyone follows the customs he’d grown up with, or maybe it’s the vague need to make Bill stop and slow down so he can actually comprehend the elaborate scenario being laid out for him, but - 

He leans in, fingers curling around Bill’s shoulder, and brushes his lips to one freckled cheek and then the other, the chatter cutting off abruptly.

“Bisous,” he offers belatedly once he pulls back and sees the look of frank astonishment on Bill’s face as he stares at him. It’s only then he realizes that maybe this doesn’t carry over for Brits, he isn’t quite sure - and that even if it did he probably should have done bises and not bisous for a new friend, but he’s always been affectionate - but it doesn’t seem to matter, because Bill just grins at the way Remy’s going pink all down his throat and starts his story over. 

Remy decides later that day that he rather wants to keep Bill Weasley and that he’s quite fun, mostly spurred on by the fact that they construct a very elaborate prank to play on one of the snobbier Slytherins over dinner, and maybe also because when Bill next bounds up to him, he stops to give Remy bisous.

                                                                                                                    ii.

         When Bill had offered Remy a place to come for winter holiday, he hadn’t been sure exactly what he’d expected, but the reality of it was much better. The Weasleys make everything feel like home, which is rather odd because he already has one, but he doesn’t bother questioning it. 

Neither does Jean-Luc, who’s mostly just pleased his son has made friends, though Henri is the practical one that gives Remy an extra deposit to stay in England instead of coming back between their father’s scattered cheers and enthusiasm.

Instead, he lets himself get swept off in the humdrum whirlwind of activity that is life at the Burrow, sure to stick cold finger and toes on Bill’s ankles and cheeks every morning and laugh out a good morning one each to Molly and Arthur. He also makes sure that Ron gets a liberal amount of tummy tickles, and he learns not to protest very much when Bill is put in charge of dressing him the once they venture into Ottery St. Catchpole, because as it turns out Remy is wonderfully good at wizard fashion and a disaster at the ordinary kind.

It’s easy to settle into a scratchy sweater and kick his friend half out of his place until they can scrunch in together on the couch. It’s easy to yelp when the twins latch onto his legs in a coordinated attack and bring him tumbling down. 

It’s easy to kiss Bill properly for the first time when they’re back on Hogwarts grounds with snow stuck to their hair and scarves, easy as breathing to wrap his arms around the other boy’s neck and just steal his lips without an ounce of hesitation. 

Later he wonders what he’d been thinking, because he could have ruined everything, but it doesn’t matter so much then either because he’s got his fingers laced through Bill’s and his head on his shoulder, and it all fits pretty nice.

                                                                                                                   iii.

          He’s panicking. That’s the first thing his very helpful brain tells him, which really makes everything worse, but there isn’t a whole lot he can do about it because he’s on one knee and ow the gravel drive is really taking its vengeance out on him, but he’s staying put, damn it.

Served him right for being to chicken to go according to plan, anyway. If he had, he would’ve dropped down an hour ago before they headed home from the Muggle concert he’d gotten them tickets for (which was, as usual, some band that Bill very much liked and Remy thought was nice but had no brain space to remember the name of).

“Uh,” he starts, very eloquently, and cracks open the ring box - it’s simple enough, really, just a gold band inlaid with tiny, complex patterns that shifted and changed with movement, but that sudden sinking weight of what if he doesn’t like it settles deep in his belly anyway. “I thought, um - since the world is going to shit, and you know I love you, and I meant to do it a little while ago but I got nervous. And, um, uh, if it doesn’t fit or you don’t like it, that’s totally fine, I don’t know if it will fit anyway, I tried to guess the size just holding your hand and this was a horrible idea, I am so sorry - ”

Bill is just staring, mouth half-open and jaw working wordlessly as he stutters something incomprehensible, and suddenly Remy is that much more anxious because oh no, he sees more ginger heads peeking just barely out of the Burrow and this was the worst idea, absolutely terrible, he’s about to get dumped in front of the whole Weasley tribe and suddenly he can’t tell if he’s speaking in English or French but he would bet it was the latter and - 

That’s about when Bill decides to slap a gentle palm over Remy’s mouth and haul him up to his feet. “Yes, I will happily marry you,” he tells him, and then he kisses the absolute hell out of his stupid French fiancé, who very nearly faints on the spot in absolute relief, not that he would ever admit it.

It’s alright, though, because they’re equally embarrassed when they make it back into the house and have enthusiastic questions and congratulations peppered off of them, and it’s quite enough that Remy’s hair (though not the rest of him because angry is the last thing he is at the moment) catches fire in half a minute, and that’s a whole fiasco in and of itself.

                                                                                                                    iv.

          His hands are sooty and stained, bloody too, when they go back to looking like his own hands and not twisted with claws. They’re also shaking, all the noise and clamor lost in the way his ears are ringing but he does hear one thing, and he recognizes Jean-Luc’s face hovering before his, warm eyes anxious as he brushes hair flaking ashy remnants of dye away from his son’s face. 

“You hear that, boy? He’s alive. Go. Je l’ai.” And really, what did it say that they’d put up shields, hidden him in the middle of a dying battlefield for losing his temper in all that rage and grief and oh, no, he’d done it, hadn’t he? Remy’s eyes dart to Charlie’s face, and he swallows hard, but he’s already reaching for the younger boy’s outstretched hand. 

After all, his father was good at memory spells. If even one person left remembering what they’d seen, it would be strange - and there was time to worry later.

Alive. Alive. Alive. 

He keeps turning the word over in his head, a half-prayer as they stumble off and make their way to the infirmary. It’s the only word that matters when unsteady fingers drift over the gashes on Bill’s face, not touching for fear of infection - it’s the only thing he thinks when he looks up to see Molly staring at him with some kind of wariness on her face, like she’s expecting something bad from him; he doesn’t have anything else in his head, can’t process what that means. 

“He’s going to be okay,” he rasps, and it comes out like a question, more hopeful than maybe is allowed and god, he’s fucking terrified. He’s so small all of a sudden, or he feels it, squashed with the weight of all that fear and fuck, just fuck, but the next thing he knows he’s getting swept into a big warm hug (the Weasley specialty, innit) and they’re both crying all over each other but that’s alright too.

Remy loses track of how long it takes for Bill to wake up - days, probably - but when he does, it’s with a whole lot of anxious family hovering over him, and the first thing he says is “My face hurts,” sounding vaguely indignant. It’s enough to earn him several eye rolls and sighs of oh, he’s fine - Remy opts for bursting into tears of relief. He hadn’t meant to, but he does, and Bill looks awfully startled, but he can’t help it.

It takes a while longer for everyone else to filter out, but they eventually do, leaving Bill to rest and Remy to settle back into the chair at his side. Before he does, he leans in, brushes careful lips over the corner of his fiancé’s mouth, fingers curled under his jaw so soft he thinks he can pick up the ache from all the torn flesh above. 

“You’re an idiot,” he tells him, tart, and Bill shakes a little with a laugh he can’t quite get out without it hurting. “You picked me. Who’s the idiot now?”

                                                                                                                     v.

          Ras Abu Gali is very much off the beaten path for Muggles, let alone wizards, and the local Bedouin are friendly enough that they stay there awhile; they are strange no matter what they do, so Remy doesn’t bother to dye his hair and lets it hang to his waist like moonlight though he does cover it most days. 

It’s comfortable, he thinks, the way he can roll over under heavy travelling blankets to kiss Bill awake, weave long fingers through red hair and press a scarred cheek to his collarbone and fall back asleep. It’s nice, actually, that he dresses in stupid loud colors and glaringly mismatched patterns and no one cares at all even if Bill rolls his eyes at the worst combinations. 

He ducks his head down, bites soft at his husband’s ear with a low hum, a chuckle slipping from him at the answering grumble of protest. Bill tugs the cover up over their sleep-rumpled heads to block out the light, and Remy kisses him, still smiling.

“Vite-vite, wake up,” he murmurs, and pinches Bill’s side gentle, rolling them until he’s resting atop him with chin settled nice and neat on his hands. “We need to pack. We’re going back to visit today, remember?”

Bill sighs, and Remy presses warm lips to the underside of his half-sweaty jaw, thumbs tracing warm circles over his ribs until he finally shifts, toppling Remy onto his back instead and pinning him there. 

“Five more minutes,” he sighs against Remy’s skin, and with a snort Remy gives in, wrapping his arms tight around him like he really minds at all. Five more minutes.

And then if he didn’t get up, Remy would shove ice down his pants.

[deepfriedtwinkie]

Kingsman: A Trainee’s Mission (Pt. III)

PREQUEL FIC, this section ~1,800w

pt. I  | pt. II

.

.

At six a.m. sharp, Harry has already been awake for precisely a quarter hour. He’s done a full stretch routine, made up his bunk, and by the time the piped-in sound of Big Ben’s gong resonates to wake the others, he’s on his way back from the sinks, swinging his toothbrush in a plastic sandwich bag.

“Fucking Christ.” Punctuating himself with a yawn to rival any zoo lion, Hamish leaps directly to the floor, apparently no fan of the concept of ladders. “I love waking up like I slept under a bridge in fucking Westminster.”

“Could be worse,” Harry poses. “I was anticipating a bugle, myself.”

“Oh, no, you’re right, that’d definitely be worse.”

“See? Perspective will get you everywhere.”

Then Hamish scrutinizes him. “How long’ve you been up and about, anyway?”

“Oh, only a bit.” Experience has taught him specifics can be obnoxious; he’s got to save something for later. “Habit, honestly.”

“I see. Can I ask a question?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“You’re one of those irritatingly-overprepared types, aren’t you?”

“Quite, yes.”

Hamish’s brow does a hop. “Fair enough. At least you’re forward about it.”

He takes that as a compliment. “Thank you.”

They seem to notice the parcels at the same time. There are two of them stacked at the foot of every lower bunk, each one a thick square of material resembling Burberry, folded crisply, bundled up with twine.

Hamish cuts the strings with a scouts’ knife from his pocket—Did you sleep the whole night with that there?—and each of them take possession of the article with their initials on the tag, holding them out. They fall away into jumpsuits. That’s what they are. Collared, belted jumpsuits. Harry’s in a khaki color, and Hamish’s in some sort of teal.

“We must be meant to put these on.” Logic quickly replaces his momentary pang of disappointment. Surely it’d be impossible to train properly in a full Kingsman Tailors’ bespoke suit. They must get those later. These will more than do for the time being.

He retreats to the corner to change while Hamish is still inspecting both sides of his garment. “Fetching. I’m just looking for the nappies that go with it.”

“Oh, come on, now, it’s not all that bad.”

“More perspective?”

Harry expertly buttons his way up the row, grinning in advance at his own wit. “Enticement, actually. The sooner you’ve got it on, the sooner I can procure blackmail photos.”

“Over my dead body.”

“How convenient; you’ve already got somewhere to put it.”

Hamish chucks the twine at him.

In minutes, everyone is dressed, and the sixteen of them file their way outdoors. Harry strives to take in everything in sight. It’s his first time seeing the grounds in their entirety, or at all, for that matter, given he’d arrived last night via underground shuttle from the tailor shop. He presumes the same must be true for the others. 

The compound, on first impression, is absolutely sprawling, encompassing what could pass for a sea of open field, manicured precisely enough to be ready for a sporting match of any kind. The estate itself stands steadfastly in the middle of it all like a nineteenth-century castle, or at the very least, a fine manor of nobility. More striking than anything, the center of the lawn is marked with the same emblem as the weaponry, the technology, and the jumpsuits they wear now: a white circle bearing the mark of a horizontal K. Four men could camp on it, easily.

It’s the last he notices of the scenery. Up ahead, over a queue of shoulders, he sees his immediate new favorite thing in the world. A wall of sixteen metal cages, each one containing the sweetest, most precious little puppy.

“Oh God, would you look at that!” Rather unprofessionally, he’s slapping Hamish’s arm. It’s a miracle he remembers himself and doesn’t bolt off to tell them all they’re beautiful. Because they are. “Do you think it’s possible they’re for us?”

“I think it’s possible you’re something else,” Hamish says affably.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” projects Arthur from the balcony, the moment they’re assembled in line. “I’m quite pleased with your punctuality.”

Yes, yes, get on with it, for God’s sake, get to the dogs. Already, there’s a little fuzzy one looking straight at him. Oh gosh, he wagged his tail.

“As most of you came within a childlike shriek of failing your first task, the emphasis imparted by your next assignment will be especially vital. Teamwork in all things is no less than utterly tantamount to your success—and your survival—in the Kingsman line of work. Precisely why, in a moment, you will all come forward and select one of these puppies for yourselves.”

Harry’s resting pulse replicates a hyperactive ten-year-old’s. Yes! Let us at them, then; I’ll break the wanker’s arm who beats me to the little one–

“Your puppies will shadow you twenty-four hours a day. You will be wholly responsible for their care and keeping. You will train them as Kingsman trains you. Ideally, by the end of the program, both you and your dog will have reached your peak potential. If not, well. At least you’ll have done something worthwhile with your time.”

Are you quite through!? Fall out, fall out, say it!

“Everyone choose your puppy.”

Bloody good enough! Harry barges forward, the first to reach the cages. Frankly he’d have no problem lying on the ground and letting all sixteen of the milk-bellied things scuttle all over him, but this is the one he wants. This scruffy little terrier, quite obviously a runt, whose pleading eyes alone could melt the polar ice caps.

He lifts the latch and draws open the cage, first coaxing the tiny fellow forward for an introductory sniff, then gently clasping him between his hands. “Oh, hello, sweetheart,” he whispers, scooping the puppy into his arms. He’s a lump of warm fluff against his chest, warm fluff with the softest ears in the entire world. “Hello there! Oh, it’s absolutely wonderful to meet you. Yes, it is. Oh, yes.”

The pup’s going about the business of sniffing his jumpsuit when Hamish reappears, leash in hand. Harry’s eyes trace it down to a puddled little dog who’s just tripped belly-up on her own lead. By this point, whatever torture their training entails, he’s confident he’ll sail right the hell through it, high on these mental images alone.

“What’s that one?” Hamish asks.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s a terrier of some kind. I don’t care. He likes me.” His face hasn’t unscrewed from borderline certifiable joy since they first fell in. “Yours?”

“Bloodhound.” He sounds chuffed with himself, giving a shrug. “I figure it’s right there in the name. Best dog for the job.”

“May I?”

“Certainly.”

Harry crouches, very careful with his own new friend, freeing a hand to stroke the baby bloodhound’s tummy. He has to laugh at the floppy little jowls; she’s almost more roll than dog. “Isn’t she a droopy girl?”

A recruit behind him snorts. “If that isn’t the last thing you want to hear at the disco.”

“Fuck off, Winston.” The prat’s deserved it since turndown last night, when he’d bragged to the room about his father’s yacht in the Aegean. It’s rather satisfying, honestly. Just as quickly as he spat his venom, he’s back to making friends. “Hello, princess! Aren’t we a gorgeous little dog? Oh, yes we are. Yes, we are.”

It’s his proximity to the ground that does it. For a split second, lavishing Hamish’s pup with affection, his hold on his own is too loose. Just long enough for the miniscule mutt to squirm free, barreling across the grounds like a pistol shot. Harry stands and whirls in time to see Winston’s dog take off after him, yanking the lead from his hand.

Oh, fuck.

Both of them burst into a sprint.

“Just fuckin’ perfect, isn’t it! Fuck you and your fucking dog, Oxford!” Winston shouts.

“Oh, you know damned well we’re both out of your league!”

“Oi, you get back here, dog! Bad dog!”

“Here boy! Heel!”

The puppies are headed straight for a picnic blanket in the distance. The unsuspecting victim is a man lounged at its center, reading from a manila folder in one hand, eating a sandwich with the other—and more to the point, wearing a bespoke suit, which officially classifies this as Very, Very Bad.

“Fucking hell—excuse me, Sir? Pardon me!”

The agent turns around just in time for Winston’s Doberman to snatch the sandwich from his hand. Harry’s terrier makes off with the only food left on the blanket: a spear of pickle.

The chase ends as quickly as it began. Both puppies brake under a tree, sprawling out to munch their spoils. Harry and Winston stagger to a stop in front of the displeased agent, arms now crossed, looking like he’d love to serve both of their hides at high tea with a bit of Marmite.

“What in the devil is the meaning of this?” the agent demands. “Two minutes into the goddamned task and you idiots can’t manage to keep hold of a fucking puppy?”

It’s only the third agent he’s met, and already his first impression success ratio is horribly imbalanced. Luckily there’s always a way to recover. Harry stands crisp at attention, hands folded behind his back, and he covers all signs of exertion with his most winning smile.

“I’m terribly sorry, sir…”

“Sir Tristan, that’s all the likes of you need to know.”

Head hung, Winston mumbles, “Sorry, Chester.”

The sigh and eye-roll from Chester-Alias-Tristan are monumentous. He points toward the tree with a rigid arm. “Just go and get the dog, you fucking imbecile.” As Winston trudges off, Chester mutters something else under his breath, something about having better luck had he proposed a grapefruit, but Harry decides it would be found too ungentlemanly to mention that.

“Can I replace your meal for you, sir? I’d be quite happy to.”

“No, thank you. I’m just in from a sixteen-hour flight, and quite frankly, I have already had enough of you infants’ bollocks for one day. Now I suggest you collect your rat and piss off, before I report you to Arthur for incompetence.”

Tugging his lapels, Chester takes leave in a huff, whisking up his blanket. Winston is already gone. With a deep exhale, Harry approaches the shade of the tree, smiling fondly at his puppy, who’s successfully gnawed the pickle down to half.

As he picks him up, he makes sure to bring the hard-won prize along, cradling both thief and snack, starting back toward the group. “Good boy,” he whispers, and presses a kiss to his fur.

.

pt. IV | pt. V  | pt. VI  | pt. VII  | pt. VIII  | pt. IX

[culturalogique]

Motherhood III - My thoughts

Motherhood. Motherhood is a strange thing, it creeps up on you. Slowly. Even when you’ve known you wanted to be a mom for a long time, there’s no way you can see it coming. Now that I am a mom, I have had my baby and I’m on the other side. Three months now. I look at first-time pregnant women and shake my head. They just don’t know. There’s no way they can know. They can read everything, talk to everyone they know, do everything in their power to be prepared and there’s no way to know everything. It’s an infinite pool of knowledge and potentialities, the point is no one knows, even women on their fifth childbirth/rearing don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s a mystery, one of the last, true great mysteries out there. And yet every woman is completely and wholly prepared for what they are about to experience, because it’s made up exactly for them, for her, at this moment, at this time.

Back to my point. Motherhood sneaks up on you, it comes in layers.

 Some of the things I’ve noticed.

 Baby animals. Everything for your newborn is covered in natural elements, leaves, flowers, trees, giraffes, whales, wolves, raccoons, pooh bear, baby elephants, baby animals of all kinds. We celebrate them, we celebrate life and love and family. ‘Daddy’s little princess’ ‘I love mommy’. But out there in the real world, we are letting species die at an alarming rate. We wouldn’t dare give up our foreign vacation, our second car or strawberries in January. But when it comes to our babies, we know what’s good and wholesome. Life, the life that issues forth when babies are born. We recognize the value of the natural world, fresh air, bright colors, celebration.

 That was one of the first things that hit me after my daughter was born.

 Sad.

 Of course hormone’s are raging you at that time.

 My sister called it ‘You’re so happy you’re sad.’ That’s exactly, how I felt!

 No one tells you you’re going to have feverish night sweats for the first nights to a week afterward, no one tells you about the panic.

 My first re-occurring dream/nightmare was of waking and checking the baby to see if she was alright and then realizing that she wasn’t the real baby. And looking around in a panic for the real baby only to realize I was awake and the real baby was right in front of me and she was fine. Happened multiple times. My husband and I still joke about it.

 Not to mention my actual paranoid question if someone could have possibly looped footage of my baby sleeping comfortably into my baby monitor to trick me. I literally had to talk myself very carefully through this one… a) why would anyone do that, seriously you think someone is stalking you and specifically wants to steal your baby badly enough to infiltrate your house, b) how would they do it, the monitor was from my sister who had gotten it second hand from her sister in law, this thing had been through 5 kids, it wasn’t even connected to the WiFi! Pretty nearly impossible and c) those are her clothes, that is from today, you just laid her down, it’s fine, you’re just paranoid!

 That’s how much you love them, it’s irrational. You cannot control how you feel and what you want to do about it.

 Speaking of which I better go check on her right now. :D

 Ok, I’m back.

 In the beginning, my mother, her grandmother, would be worried she wasn’t breathing, truly worried and asking me to check. Mother of both myself and my sister, olympic swimmer, early child development specialist grandmother, was so connected to this new little being that she was doubting her ability to pick up on the subtleties that might mean loss of life.

 They scare you so much with SIDS and all the precautionary measures that it’s a miracle babies are even born. Of course it is a miracle.

 Everything is upside down and inside out. But, gradually, like a frog boiling in a pot of cold water.

 You become your child. Gradually, you start peeing your pants, you need to wear pads, like diapers. Your thighs start to chafe and stick and get rashes. You need diaper rash cream. You can’t reach your feet, you can’t clip your own toenails or coif your private area, you need help to do basic things. You have to eat small amounts, because too much will give you heartburn and an upset tummy. You’re uncomfortable, you wake up several times in the night. Not just to pea, also for no reason, you’re just AWAKE. Oh, and you’re nauseous, you puke, you can’t keep food down, you have a gag reflex and are super sensitive to foods, tastes and smells.

 You are becoming your baby. Pregnancy helps you feel what it feels like to be a baby. And to know definitively that your life will never be the same.

 This is the new normal. You have set sail.

 Of course, men and other partners/caretakers have no idea. The women who know are women who have given birth, recently being the best. Because they have not forgotten the truth of it.

 No one tells you you’re going to lose your core strength and the ability to control your urine, like maybe permanently.

 No one tells you about the fluids. I was expecting the pee, poop and spit up, but being imperceptibly soaked in a cold sticky fluid that is your own milk, soaking down into your shirt, your sheets, everything at any time.

 Or that you’re vagina may never be the same. Only afterwards will your girlfriends who are moms admit it. Oh yeah, I call it my ‘fin’ one friend laughs. Another recall’s going in for her 1 year check up, asking ‘what’s this’ and having it explained that this is now her vagina, it is healed after 2nd degree tears.

 Mine is more a valley or a divet. The tear came back together at the top but the bottom remains slightly open.

 Both my midwife and my primary care physician say it’s normal and that it will ‘granulate’ back together, gradually, of course.

 And what about sex? Hmmmmmm, well after the three+ weeks of bleeding profusely out your bottom, not being able to sit up and still too weak to go on long walks or to lift even moderately heavy things. Not to mention however your nipples and breasts feel depending on how nursing is going.

 Penetrative sex is not the first thing on your mind. Maybe a shoulder rub?

 But on the other hand, you know it’s important and for some lucky reason you do feel kind of horny. Thank goodness for that! You agree to it.

 And well, it kind of hurts. Not a lot but it’s very uncomfortable, especially in certain positions.

 Now I know why in certain religions they promise you 32 virgins, because a woman who’s had a child birthed out of her is going to tell you exactly what she likes and doesn’t. Out of necessity.

 My husband is a saint. He is so thankful we are sexing at all and so understanding of my courage, he only wants to do right by me and so we have a sex life, once again.

 Different than ever before but a sex life. This is the part where I remember our midwife telling us about sex after baby, ‘it’s like meeting again for the first time, everything is new’.

 And it is like that. Closer, more open, more understanding and compassion. More true love than ever before, this mutual purpose, this mutual accomplishment, precious beyond belief and yet fragile and needing constant faith.

No one tells you you’re going to be ravenous afterwards, wanting/needing to eat and drink even during the night – just like a baby.

 The truth is there’s too much to tell. And we new pregnant mom’s we don’t listen, we simply cannot take in that much information. On some level we just have to wing it and hope, pray and prepare for the best.

 Right after I gave birth the advice I had for women was – ‘Do your squats. Keep up with your yoga and your stretches. Walk every day.’ ‘This is an athletic event, better get your game face on.’

 Which reminds me of my daughter, when she was learning to latch on to my breast, she would sway her mouth back and forth on my nipple with her mouth open to locate the nipple and then she would get what I called her ‘game face’, which was part growl, part bite and part lunge and go for it.

 Mothers and babies, we’re more alike than we look.

 Now that my daughter is 3 months old. Today! Happy birthday Melissae, you’re a quarter of a year old already! I feel like I have not only set sail, I’m in open water, out of the sight of shore.

 Here’s to the best. For all of us.

[insomniasix]

Chapter III –The Open World - Part III

Feedback is always appreciated! 

Warnings: Mentions of smut

Previous  

 First day in Lestallum was good, first night was even better!

Six woke up the second day, finding herself tangled inside Gladio’s arms and legs. He was crushing her with his strong body but she’d never complain. Hot weather or not, she loved every second of feeling him close as much as she loved him.

Her eyes opened on the third thud of the door.

“Six, Gladiolus. I do not mean to interrupt but we should be on the road.” Ignis’ voice was heard from behind it.

Six blinked her eyes open while Gladio grunted softly, turning to lay on his back. She sat straight on the bedside, pulling the white sheets to cover her naked body as she ruffled her messy hair, sighing softly in delight.

“You know,” she heard Gladio’s sleepy voice as he wrapped his arm around her waist, planting small kisses along her naked side “you’re still naked underneath those sheets.”

“Someone has to open up to him,” she smirked, looking back to his naked body, sprawled out on his side of the bed “and I’ve got the sheets.” she gave him a wink as her smirk grew wider.

“Come ‘ere.” he roared as he pulled her back to him, moving to hover above her as he kissed every piece of skin he could find, slowly covering himself with the white covers.

Six broke the kissing chain and pushed him back slightly, looking into his lust filled eyes as she teasingly raised an eyebrow at him “Is that a gun I’m feeling against my leg or are you just happy to see me?”

‘She’s using my own lines now?’ he thought as the edges of his lips reached up to his blushing cheeks “It is a gun actually.” He teased, kissing the valley between her breasts, amber eyes never leaving hers.

“And yet, that makes you so much hotter!” she moaned softly, closing her eyes as she slowly forgot about Ignis, waiting on the other side of the door.

“We’ll be down in fifteen minutes, Iggy.” She cleared her throat, the thought of him hearing them making her blush in embarrassment.

“Thirty!” Gladio yelled as he got comfortable between her legs, moving to place one of her thighs above his shoulder.

“What?” she laughed, looking how close he was getting to her heating core.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, babe!” he winked at her before making her forget about everything else as he sent her in a state of bliss.

…

Thirty minutes later and right on time, the couple came down the stairs to the lobby; dressed in the same clothing they were the night before. Ignis was already drinking his second cup of Ebony while Prompto took the extra time to snap some pictures of him and Iris.

“So what are you guys doing today?” Iris asked as she dragged Prompto closer to the rest.

“I know, I know!” Talcott rushed to answer “Sightseeing!”

“Talcott, my boy, I’m sure the gentlemen and lady have pressing matters to attend to.” Jared said as Talcott pouted.

“We’d love to see the sights.” Gladio smiled at the boy, holding Six close to his side.

“I would also like to visit the market.” Ignis agreed.

“Can we?” Talcott’s eyes couldn’t be bigger as he looked at his grandfather, silently begging him to agree with his request.

“Alright.” Jared agreed and Gladio suggested a change of clothing would be the right thing to do first.

“You guys go ahead.” Six smiled, turning her attention to Prompto who hadn’t said a word “Prom, can you stay behind with me?”

Prompto was surprised she’d want him to stay, but he agreed right away.

“Iris? Are you coming?” Gladio asked his little sister.

“I think, I’ll wait for Noctis to wake up.” She blushed and Gladio smiled to himself, not pressing the matter further as he kissed Six’s forehead before moving to the room they all shared to change his clothing.

A few minutes later, Ignis, Gladio and Talcott moved out to visit the market and Six took Prompto to the outlook, staring out to the Disc.

“So, um,” Prompto stuttered as he didn’t know how to begin, feeling his heart beat like crazy at what she wanted to talk about “what was it you wanted to talk about?” he scratched the back of his head as he felt the heat rise to his freckled cheeks.

“Come sit next to me.” She pointed to the empty spot on the bench she was sitting on and Prompto did what she asked “I wanted to apologize.” She started but Prompto cut her off.

“You don’t have to, I was the one who pushed too far. It won’t happen again, I promise.” He lowered his eyes to the ground.

“Well,” she smiled to herself, feeling the love she had for the boy spread in every cell of her body “If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t be this happy, Prom.”

Prompto looked at her like a puppy that didn’t understand for a few seconds.

“Prompto, I’m with my soulmate because of you!” she smiled warmly at him “I let my confused, childish feelings get the better of me and I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok!” the boy smiled, blushing like he just received the best compliment in Eos “I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it!”

“Thanks, sunshine. For everything.”

The two spent the next couple of minutes in silence, just looking at the Disc of Cauthess and thinking of everything they’ve been through since the begging of their trip. How they started and where they were now. Prompto took a small breath and opened his mouth, like he wanted to say something, but closed it right away. He repeated the action a couple times and Six noticed it.

“What is it?” she turned to look at him concerned.

He frowned his brows before saying what was on his mind “We’re a broken bunch aren’t we?” he finally sighed.

“No,” Six was quick to draw the word out a little “maybe,” she corrected herself “but I’m willing to fix it if you are.”

“Why?” Prompto smiled softly.

“Sunshine, you’re my family. All you four weirdos are.” He huffed a laugh at her choice of words “You have been since the time that kitty rubbed against your legs and you sucked your tummy so bad, just to get a picture of it.” She smiled at the memory, giving him a playful tickle on the stomach at the word ‘tummy’ as he laughed.

“You saw that?” he scratched the back of his neck again, cheeks flushing pink.

“Who do you think put the kitty there to make you feel better?” she asked with a smile and Prompto saw the pictures in his mind.

“You know? I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you.”

“For what?” she raised her eyebrows at him.

“For being there. For always being there.” He said simply as he smiled brightly up at her “So, thanks! And we’re good.”

She hugged him tight before her phone rang as she received a message from Gladio.

We’re back at the Leville. Talcott has something interesting to share with us. Where are you?

…

Six and Prompto laughed their way back to the hotel, thinking back to the times Prompto had no idea Six was around, leaving sweet nothings to him to make him feel better, right before Noctis and Iris came back from their walk in the town.

“Hey-yas!” they waved in unison upon meeting Gladio and Ignis in the hotel’s lobby.

“Hello.” Ignis smiled at them, realizing the matter between them was fixed.

“Hey.” Gladio placed a sweet kiss on Six’s lips as she did the same; Prompto smiling brightly at the sight, proud of himself for pushing them to their limits.

“So, where’s Noct?” Prompto asked, taking his eyes away when the kiss became a little deeper than he’d like to witness.

“The Prince and Miss Iris should be back any minute now.” Jared smiled at the boy’s reaction.

A few seconds later Noctis and Iris made their way inside, to meet with everyone else as Six moved outside for a smoke.

“Hey, look who’s back!” she said when she saw them, pointing for them to move inside while getting a cigarette out of the pack “They’re waiting for you inside.”

“Talcott,” Prompto said once Noctis moved closer to the company “tell ‘em what you told me.”

Upon hearing Prompto’s words, Six moved closer to the entrance, looking inside to the rest and listening to Talcott.

“So,” the boy started “there’s this legend about a sword. And the sword’s supposed to be behind a waterfall nearby.”

“It may well be one of the royal tombs.” Ignis commented, piquing Noctis’ interest.

“Check it out?” Gladio asked.

“For sure.” Noctis answered, smiling at the kid “Thanks for the tip, Talcott.”

The boys moved outside to where Six stood, letting out the last of her cigarette’s smoke. The company made their way to the Regalia and Ignis insisted on driving this time.

“Iggy, you don’t have to.” Six protested and he smirked at her, making her and Gladio blush as he commented on how tired the both of them looked; making the younger boys laugh at what he implied.

Six agreed to let him drive and took her place, squished between Noctis and Gladio in the back seat; the latter intertwining his fingers with hers right away as he placed his other arm on the top of the car’s door.

“The legend says ‘Look behind the waterfall’.” Prompto said as they moved towards the falling waters.

“What does the waterfall say?” Ignis asked.

“I think it says ‘Come in’.” the kid answered again, giving the rest a worried look.

“Well, let’s go in.” Six breathed as she moved forward, next to Prompto.

Upon reaching the entrance behind the wall of water, Prompto commented on the cold that was coming out; something everyone agreed with as it was way colder than the weather outside.

“Double back for out coats?” he asked but the rest disagreed, not wanting to waste more time.

Everyone was wearing their Crownsguard garments, except Six, who didn’t have the time to change before Noctis decided they’d move on. She was still wearing last night’s outfit; now starting to regret it as she felt her blood slowly freeze.

“Prom’s right, I’m freezing my ass off!” she whined while running her hands up and down her arms, trying to create some kind of heat.

“We wouldn’t want that.” Gladio smirked and moved to take off his jacket as Six stopped him.

“What are you doing?” she wondered, frowning her eyebrows at his movements.

“I’m giving you my jacket.” he answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“So you can stay completely topless and catch cold?” she laughed “Thanks, but no thanks!”

“Here.” Ignis interrupted the two, taking his own jacket off and placing it on her shoulders; keeping only his shirt on.

“Are you sure, Iggy? It’s-” she asked, grabbing hold of the upper part of his suit, wrapping herself with it as he nodded “Thanks.”

The company moved further inside the cave to what seemed to be a maze of roads and corridors. Noctis’ took the front proudly, leading the rest inside the frozen maze.

“Well, looking on the bright side,” Prompto stuttered from the cold “maybe the cold keeps the daemons at bay.”

“Yeah, because monsters like warmth.” Gladio laughed at him.

“Ah. Sarcasm.” Prompto mocked him as Ignis and Six laughed lightly at the little argument they seemed to be having “What if they’re frozen?”

“Encased in ice,” Gladio pretended to give it a thought, smiling at himself for the face Prompto was making on the picture his words were creating “waiting for something warm to pass by…”

“And then they jump out!” the kid widened his eyes as a shiver run down his spine.

“There’s our warm welcome.” Six pointed out at the Flan daemons in front of them before Ignis cast fire at them, melting all three in just one move.

“You’re on fire today!” Noctis laughed, high-fiving his friend before moving to the front of the group again.

“Heading down a slippery slope… in slip-sliding shoes.” Prompto thought out loud when they moved closer to the iced road.

“Come on, sunshine.” Six laughed as she hit him lightly on the back “What could possibly go wrong?”

The boys kept looking as she was the first to move and slide down the ice, instantly coming across some Imps at the end of it, warping her way on them as she fought to take them down before the rest made their way to her. She warped again and again, piercing and kicking her way around them. She took down the last with a spin kick, right before Noctis reached her.

“Those things sure like the dark.” She smiled as the last Imp dematerialized next to her.

“Looks like you took care of them.” Noctis said proudly.

“Just clearing the way for you, my Prince.” She winked at him before taking a graceful bow, making the boy laugh at her tease.

It didn’t take much time for Noctis to lose his way inside the maze. The company followed close behind, everyone thinking but no-one talking about it out loud, until Ignis decided he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Noct, if I may-”

“Don’t ask.” Noctis cut him off with a sigh.

“Yeah, we’re lost.” Six sighed, pretty sure of herself.

“Don’t answer!” Noctis knew they were right, but wouldn’t admit it; not out loud.

“So where do we go now?” Gladio made his way to stand next to her, crossing his arms to his chest as she instantly felt the heat, radiating from his body. Six turned to stare at him, a puzzled look crossing her face as she moved to place her hands on his uncovered torso, making him move his hands to stand on her lower back “Babe, your hands are freezing.” He said, tensing up at her touch.

“How are you so warm?” she asked baffled, making him laugh “I’m wearing twice the clothes you are and I’m as cold as Shiva’s great ass.”

Gladio didn’t answer; he grabbed both her hands, placing them into his as he moved them close to his mouth, warming them with his hot breath while he stared into her eyes “Better?”

It was her turn not to say a word. She couldn’t even if she tried, as the only thing she did was gulp by the way his amber eyes pierced hers; making her feel all the love he had for her in such a simple act.

“This way.” she cleared her throat when Noctis did the same, drawing them away from each other “The way is frozen but I think I can-” she cast a fire spell before finishing her sentence, making a hole on the icy wall in front of them.

“Can we use your fire to stay warm?” Prompto asked, shivering.

“My fire doesn’t burn me. I doubt it will do the same to you.” She gave him a side smile. She didn’t really know if the fire would harm him but she wasn’t going to put it through the test; Prompto himself didn’t seem to like the idea either.

“So the glaive’s through here?” Gladio asked as they walked further in the cave.

“Yeah, it’s close too.” Six answered, eyes scouting the area for more enemies.

“I’m freezing!” Prompto shivered again, following Noctis closely “What I wouldn't give for a hot bowl of soup. Mmm… soup.”

“Great. Now we’re freezing and hungry.” Noctis made fun of the blond before coming across the door to the Royal Tomb “Finally!” he breathed, readying the key Cor had given him as he moved closer to it.

“The Wanderer.” Six breathed in awe upon seeing the weapon Noctis was going to collect.

“Are you going to be alright?” Noctis asked, worry written all over his face.

Six nodded at him while Gladio moved closer, asking what was going on.

“It’s nothing. Noct.” She nodded again, encouraging him to move forward and see the situation through.

Noctis did as she said. Moving closer to the tomb of the Wandered and placing his hand above his weapon. It shined bright before flying right through his heart, just as the previous ones had done; and just as the previous, this one hurt Six too, as she gasped in pain, clutching her heart. Gladio moved close to her fast “What the hell was that?” he asked, terror filling his eyes.

“It’s alright, Gladdy.” She smiled warmly at him; and at Prompto, who had also made his way close to her.

“Don’t give me that crap.” He raised his voice a little more, taking her aback as she stared up at him, realizing it was his fear and not his anger that took over.

“I will explain.” She answered calmly, staring into his eyes. The warmth of her gaze relaxing him right away while he helped her stand straight.

“Does this mean we can go outside?” Prompto smiled as she silently thanked him for saving her once more.

…

The second the company stepped foot outside the cave, both Noctis and Six fell to their knees. Heads pounding as images of the Titan and the Disc flashed before them. Six quickly made her way to Noctis, holding him in her arms “Noct, are you alright?” she asked as the rest moved to stand next to them.

“Headaches too?” Gladio breathed, looking at her like she’d hurt him; and in a way she had. Or at least that’s how he saw it. He didn’t know anything. He didn’t know what was the deal with the Kings of Old, he didn’t know about the headaches and most importantly he didn’t know what to do to help. Not her nor Noctis.

Six gave him an apologetic look and turned her attention to the Prince, who was mumbling, clutching his head, obviously still being under the influence of the visions.

“What is it?” Gladio’s concern returned to its rightful owner as he moved down, next to Prompto at Noctis’ side.

“A hole in the ground.” Noctis said, slowly getting back on his feet “Something burning.”

“The Meteor.” Six breathed, helping him lean on her.

“You saw the Disc of Cauthess?” Ignis asked amazed.

“Let’s make our way back to Lestallum.” Gladio suggested “We’ll figure it out there.”

The five started moving back towards the car. Six gave Ignis his jacket back, thanking him before she moved to walk behind the rest. Questions bombarding her mind. What did all that mean? If it was the Titan that was trying to contact them, why couldn’t she understand him? Was it the power of the Old Kings that was slowly fading from her? And the most important question, the one that kept coming back; was Gladio really as disappointed and hurt as he looked?

He hadn’t even looked back at her, walking in front of the rest of the group, eyes forward at the road ahead of him while the only thing she could stare at was him.

“Put it out of your head.” Ignis instructed, moving to walk next to her.

“He hates me.” She said matter of factly.

“No, he does not.” Ignis was quick to put her mind at ease “He seems conflicted, yes, but I do not think Gladiolus is capable of hating you. Not in your current situation. Can I give you a piece of advice?” he asked after hearing her long sigh.

“Please.” She answered.

“Talk to him. Explain what is happening to you. Gladiolus will see reason. He will stand by your side no matter what.”

“Iggy, I don’t even know what’s happening.” She said sincerely.

“He will understand that as well.” He smiled at her as she did the same.

“How do we keep getting in situations like this?” Six asked after a while, smiling at herself “How are you always the reasonable one?”

“Thirteen years of friendship and I still do not know.” Ignis laughed.

“Thanks for being here.”

“My pleasure.”

…

“Can we talk?” Gladio asked when they finally reached the Regalia. His eyes almost begging her to say yes.

She nodded as her heart was ready to burst and Gladio took her hand, gently moving her further away from the rest.

He stared at her for a few seconds before speaking again, taking in every detail of her worried face like it would be the last time “Six,” his voice was low, not knowing how to react to the situation at hand “what’s going on?”

After realizing that Ignis was right and that Gladio was as worried and afraid as she was, she decided it was time to tell him the truth. She told him about the power of the Kings, how it was transferred from her to Noctis; and she explained what she could understand of the headaches they were both getting. She made him see the truth, that she, herself, didn’t quite understand what was happening to her.

“Please, don’t hate me.” She smiled at him as her voice broke at the beating of her heart. She was now getting what the Rogue Queen had once told her. How she’d know she had finally found her soulmate ‘You will love him so much,’ she said ‘that he will cause you physical pain. That is how you know.’ Six used to laugh at the thought of loving someone enough to hurt, but she was now feeling it. The thought that Gladio would back away was tearing her apart.

But Gladio didn’t go anywhere, as soulmates feel one another “I could never hate you!” he answered softly, wrapping his arms around her as he kissed the top of her head, holding her close to his body.

“I should’ve told you.” She whispered, wrapping her own arms around his waist feeling his heart beat against her body.

“You did now.” He answered, making her look at him and touching her forehead to his “We’ll figure it out. Together!”

…

It was already five in the afternoon when the company finally reached Lestallum. Iris, Talcott and Jared, all waiting for them in the Leville’s lobby.

“Prince Noctis! Welcome back!” Talcott was excited to see them return, waiting to hear about the adventure he’d sent them in.

“Your story came to a happy end.” Ignis smiled at the boy.

“We owe you, Talcott.” Noctis said, making the child blush as his hero was thanking him.

“Is everything alright?” Iris asked, moving outside where Six and Gladio were waiting for the rest.

“Yeah.” Gladio smiled proudly looking at Six, who did the same before crouching down in pain once more “Six?” he called out in worry.

“Go to Noct!” She said, nose bleeding from the pressure in her head.

Gladio did as she ordered, leaving Iris to stand next to her as he made his way to the Prince, who was at the same state as his girlfriend.

Crouching down and in pain once more, with everyone around him catching their breaths in fear for him. The images of the Titan and the Meteor where clearer now. It made Six wonder if it had something to do with them being closer.

“Not again.” she heard Noctis say as Iris gave her a paper towel to clean the blood from her nose.

“What was that?” the young lady asked, worried about her friends.

“I’m alright, Iris.” Six smiled up at her while sitting down, leaning on the wall of the hotel “Do me a favor and check on Noctis, please.”

Iris nodded and moved inside “Are you alright?” she asked the Prince.

“He’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” Gladio moved to ensure her of Noctis’ well-being before turning to Ignis and Prompto “We oughta take a closer look at this so-called ‘Disc’.” he said, placing his hand on the Prince’s shoulder.

“Then look no further than the outlook.” Prompto answered as Ignis moved outside to where Six was resting “We can use the viewer things!”

“No substitute for being on site, but it would be a start. Let’s see what we can glean of their condition.” Ignis said once the two moved inside to stand with the rest, Gladio making his way to stand next to her as Noctis’ look asked if she felt it too; the blooded towel in her hand making the answer clear right away as she waved him not to worry with a smile.

Reaching the outlook, it didn’t take Six much time to feel his presence, the same knot tying in her stomach, just like it had back at Galdin Quay. His figure was there, just a few feet away from them and she couldn’t hold back, she needed answers and he was going to give them to her.

She summoned her blade when they got close enough, making a few of the bystanders gasp in fear. Gladio and Ignis run to her side, trying to convince her to put it away while she moved closer and closer to the violet haired man as he didn’t seem to pay attention to the sounds the people around were making.

“Babe, there are people around.” Gladio warned.

“I don’t care. I don’t like him. I don’t trust him around Noct.” She said looking at Ardyn’s back; and if looks could kill, he would already be laying dead on the ground.

“We gathered as much,” Ignis was quick to intervene “but you are causing a scene, my dear. We wouldn’t want all these people think low of the King’s Glaive.”

“Fine,” she breathed, releasing the grip of her sword as it disappeared “but half a wrong move and I’m taking him down.”

Gladio smiled at her determination “If it comes to that, we’re with you.”

“Yes, but now it is not the time.” Ignis insisted as he left the couple, making his way next to Noctis and Prompto as Ardyn turned around to face them.

“What a coincidence.” The violet haired man smiled upon seeing the company move closer to him.

“I’m not so sure it is.” Gladio thought out loud, making his way to stand as Shield before the Prince, Six following close behind.

“Aren’t nursery rhymes curious things?” Ardyn smiled again as he moved closer, looking at Noctis straight in the eyes “Like this one: ‘From the deep, the Archean calls…’,” he raised his arm to point at the Disc of Cauthess “’…Yet on deaf ears, the gods’ tongue falls, The King made to kneel, in pain, he crawls.’.”

“So how do we keep him on his feet?” Prompto was fast to ask, the young marksman wondered on the stranger’s words.

Ardyn smiled as he made his way to stand in front of Six’s glare “You need only heed the call. Visit the Archean and hear his plea.” He turned his attention on the rest behind him before speaking again “I can take you.”

“What a gentleman.” Six thought out loud as the rest valued their options.

“How are your dreams, my dear?” he smiled a sly smile at her.

“I’m not your dear.” She barked at him, not understanding his question.

“You haven’t told them who I am, have you?” he wondered, letting his eyes trail her body as she moved to stand next to her friends.

“I’m not one to stand on ceremony,” he spoke again after seeing the nod they gave her “but such an occasion calls for an introduction. Please, call me ‘Ardyn’. Come with me to the car park.” he instructed as he started walking, the company following close behind “That’s where I left my automobile.”

Six mouthed his words as she grunted “Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” she asked Gladio and Ignis who were walking on each side of her, both keeping an eye on her and her reactions.

“Yes.” Ignis answered matter of factly.

“What if I break his nose a little?” she squinted her eyes at his back.

“He really pisses you off, doesn’t he?” Gladio laughed, intertwining his fingers with hers.

“Yeah.” She answered simply as they kept on following him.

“She’s a dear old thing.” Ardyn kept daydreaming about his car “Pales next to your Regalia, but she’s never let me down. So we take two vehicles –a convoy of sorts. Shall we?”

“He really loves the sound of his own voice doesn’t he?” she whispered at the two men and they both silently agreed.

Gladio always kept an eye out for the new people, he had ever since they were kids; but Six could see it in the way Ignis kept his distance; he stood by her, sharing her concern. It was nice to know they both had her back.

“Allow me to do the honor of assigning your driver.” Ardyn spoke again when they reached the cars “I choose you!” he pointed his finger at Noctis and the young Prince was quick to accept, much to Six’s displease; she would prefer herself being behind the wheel when driving alongside Ardyn.

“You drive your car, and I drive mine.” Ardyn said “With that decided, let us be off.”

As the company moved to take their places in the Regalia, Ardyn took the opportunity to talk to Six “How would you like to drive in the Vixen, dear.” He could swear her eyes took a light red tint before she answered.

“How about no, dear.” Her voice was low and threatening now that her boys were away.

Ardyn really seemed to be enjoying himself, his smirk was larger than life while he watched her move away to join her friends in the Regalia.

Next

[liesandarbor]

Sansa’s Psychological ‘Superpower’: Convincing herself shit isn’t quite as bad as it is

Throughout the main narrative and text of ASOIAF, we see Sansa Stark utilize defense mechanisms to survive being beat in front of the court (often enough that almost every member of the kingsguard had done it a few times), being touched by creepy old dudes often, and basically just suffering as a Prisoner of War.  We’re not here to chat about Sansa’s misgivings and mistakes (a young girl, age 11 in the start of AGOT), because there’s nothing to chat about with that - what I am here to chat about is Sansa’s “superpower”, and how it is basically the reason she’s alive.

(It’s not actually a superpower, she’s psychologically trying to ‘safeguard’ herself by pretending that s h i t  i s n ‘ t  b  a d, so just keep reading )

Sansa is often seen practicing Level III Neurotic Defense mechanisms, some such as displacement, denial, dissasociation, repression, rationalization  and projection  throughout the books, veiling her mind and intelligence with mostly the goal to survive.

We see her with the Tyrells beginning a secret betrothal to Willas, and in the beginning she is wary - as she should be, though this is just the beginning of her realizing that she is a pawn to move as pleased-

The words came tumbling out of her. "Yes. I will. I would like that more than anything. To wed Ser Loras, to love him . . ." 

 "Loras?" Lady Olenna sounded annoyed. "Don't be foolish, child. Kingsguard never wed. Didn't they teach you anything in Winterfell? We were speaking of my grandson Willas. He is a bit old for you, to be sure, but a dear boy for all that. Not the least bit oafish, and heir to Highgarden besides."

Sansa felt dizzy; one instant her head was full of dreams of Loras, and the next they had all been snatched away. Willas? Willas? "I," she said stupidly. Courtesy is a lady's armor. You must not offend them, be careful what you say. "I do not know Ser Willas. I have never had the pleasure, my lady. Is he . . . is he as great a knight as his brothers?"

 "Willas has a bad leg but a good heart," said Margaery. "He used to read to me when I was a little girl, and draw me pictures of the stars. You will love him as much as we do, Sansa."

-ASOS, Sansa I

So we get, in typical Sansa fashion, her processing this new escape, this new loop-hole.  Ser Dontos is taking too long to get her out of the capital, she wants nothing more than to fix/fill the hole of emotional and physical abuse suffered at the hands of her beautiful, golden King, and the Tyrells have offered her the perfect scapegoat.  --- also, don’t forget to look at that immediate reaction when she is offered Willas:  I must not offend them.  A reflection on the abuse suffered- she immediately fears what will happen if she offends them, and worries about watching her only escape fade away. 

It only takes a meeting with Dontos in the godswood to cause her to second guess these emotions, to which we see her immediately transfer all of these feelings elsewhere.

 But she had not forgotten his words, either. The heir to Winterfell, she would think as she lay abed at night. It's your claim they mean to wed. Sansa had grown up with three brothers. She never thought to have a claim, but with Bran and Rickon dead . . . It doesn't matter, there's still Robb, he's a man grown now, and soon he'll wed and have a son. Anyway, Willas Tyrell will have Highgarden, what would he want with Winterfell?

Sometimes she would whisper his name into her pillow just to hear the sound of it. "Willas, Willas, Willas." Willas was as good a name as Loras, she supposed. They even sounded the same, a little. What did it matter about his leg? Willas would be Lord of Highgarden and she would be his lady.

-ASOS, Sansa II

Willas is close enough to Loras.  Margaery said he was kind.  She could live with that. She convinces herself that a crippled leg won’t deter her from “having true happiness” or a ‘close enough’ to true happiness (which, funnily enough, isn’t the only crippled leg that she will have to think about, but we can come back to that as an after thought).  

"You are very beautiful, my lady," the seamstress said when she was dressed. 

“I am, aren't I?" Sansa giggled, and spun, her skirts swirling around her. "Oh, I am." She could not wait for Willas to see her like this. He will love me, he will, he must . . . he will forget Winterfell when he sees me, I'll see that he does. 

-ASOS, Sansa III

Sansa’s hopeless desperation at wanting to get out of the Lion’s Den manifests itself in several ways throughout the main narrative. We see her utilizing tools for survival, tools to protect herself from getting further hurt- we see her displace the negative emotions and events, we see her justify actions from others in her mind, anything to ease that good ol’ perfect-dream-life ideaology into place.  

We see her hopes dashed in front of her eyes as Cersei tells her she is to marry Tyrion- not even an hour before the ceremony.  Every single built up thought she spent normalizing Willas in her eyes, every defense and wall she built up to cause herself to accept that this was the only good card she had to play, destroyed in front of her.  And Sansa’s 12-year-old mind knew something had to have been wrong.  She comments on Cersei letting her have a beautiful new dress, she wonders, she pushes those thoughts away and smiles, she thinks it’s all for Willas.  Her rose, her romanticized rose who will make all of the pain of King’s Landing disappear. 

I don't want any Lannister, she wanted to say. I want Willas, I want Highgarden and the puppies and the barge, and sons named Eddard and Bran and Rickon. But then she remembered what Dontos had told her in the godswood. Tyrell or Lannister, it makes no matter, it's not me they want, only my claim. "You are kind, my lord," she said, defeated. "I am a ward of the throne and my duty is to marry as the king commands."

-ASOS, Sansa III

She’s young and naive, but she knows and is continually learning how the game is played. Sansa knows her head rolls when she doesn’t comply, she chooses self-preservation over fighting.  

Even in her wedding bed, Sansa pushes out of her mind to find some way to rationalize being with Tyrion.  She swallows her pride, as she has done for the whole fucking 3 books, but I digress, and tries to find some sort of love for him.

Look at him, Sansa told herself, look at your husband, at all of him, Septa Mordane said all men are beautiful, find his beauty, try. She stared at the stunted legs, the swollen brutish brow, the green eye and the black one, the raw stump of his nose and crooked pink scar, the coarse tangle of black and gold hair that passed for his beard. Even his manhood was ugly, thick and veined, with a bulbous purple head. This is not right, this is not fair, how have I sinned that the gods would do this to me, how?

-ASOS, Sansa III

Our next glimpse of Sansa in ASOS has us rejoining her after her whole family pretty much gets the crap murdered out of them, and we do not get to have her exact initial thoughts and reactions to the Red Wedding.  We see her normalized, stuck into her marriage and life, going about her every day life as it has been now.  And we begin to receive a much more honest, bitter and #WOKE Sansa after her third chapter.  Sansa IV shows Sansa beginning to pull out of some of her most internal struggles and psychological defenses.

She threw back the coverlets. I must be brave. Her torments would soon be ended, one way or the other. If Lady was here, I would not be afraid. Lady was dead, though; Robb, Bran, Rickon, Arya, her father, her mother, even Septa Mordane. All of them are dead but me. She was alone in the world now.

Her lord husband was not beside her, but she was used to that. Tyrion was a bad sleeper and often rose before the dawn. Usually she found him in the solar, hunched beside a candle, lost in some old scroll or leatherbound book. Sometimes the smell of the morning bread from the ovens took him to the kitchens, and sometimes he would climb up to the roof garden or wander all alone down Traitor's Walk.

and 

But first came breakfast in the Queen's Ballroom, for the Lannisters and the Tyrell men - the Tyrell women would be breaking their fast with Margaery - and a hundred odd knights and lordlings. They have made me a Lannister, Sansa thought bitterly.

and

Sansa was tempted to beg off. I could tell him that my tummy was upset, or that my moon's blood had come. She wanted nothing more than to crawl back in bed and pull the drapes. I must be brave, like Robb, she told herself, as she took her lord husband stiffly by the arm.

-ASOS, Sansa IV

and here is where Sansa breaks. You see, Sansa V is where her traumatized, 12-year old brain can no longer take anymore of her repressing, pretending, pushing thoughts and blames and abuse onto anything and anyone, like a sponge that’s been thoroughly soaked, Sansa is completely conflicted and distraught from Joffrey’s death.

Sansa felt as though she were in a dream. "Joffrey is dead," she told the trees, to see if that would wake her.

He had not been dead when she left the throne room. He had been on his knees, though, clawing at his throat, tearing at his own skin as he fought to breathe. The sight of it had been too terrible to watch, and she had turned and fled, sobbing. Lady Tanda had been fleeing as well. "You have a good heart, my lady," she said to Sansa. "Not every maid would weep so for a man who set her aside and wed her to a dwarf."

A good heart. I have a good heart. Hysterical laughter rose up her gullet, but Sansa choked it back down. The bells were ringing, slow and mournful. Ringing, ringing, ringing. They had rung for King Robert the same way. Joffrey was dead, he was dead, he was dead, dead, dead. Why was she crying, when she wanted to dance? Were they tears of joy?

She found her clothes where she had hidden them, the night before last. With no maids to help her, it took her longer than it should have to undo the laces of her gown. Her hands were strangely clumsy, though she was not as frightened as she ought to have been. "The gods are cruel to take him so young and handsome, at his own wedding feast," Lady Tanda had said to her.

The gods are just, thought Sansa. Robb had died at a wedding feast as well. It was Robb she wept for. Him and Margaery. Poor Margaery, twice wed and twice widowed. Sansa slid her arm from a sleeve, pushed down the gown, and wriggled out of it. She balled it up and shoved it into the bole of an oak, shook out the clothing she had hidden there. Dress warmly, Ser Dontos had told her, and dress dark. She had no blacks, so she chose a dress of thick brown wool. The bodice was decorated with freshwater pearls, though. The cloak will cover them. The cloak was a deep green, with a large hood. She slipped the dress over her head, and donned the cloak, though she left the hood down for the moment. There were shoes as well, simple and sturdy, with flat heels and square toes. The gods heard my prayer, she thought. She felt so numb and dreamy. My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel. Her hands moved stiffly, awkwardly, as if they had never let down her hair before.

-ASOS, Sansa V

The progression of hysterics that Sansa finds herself in the midst of during her flight from King’s Landing shows us a lot at once- she is having a whole flashbang of emotions happen at once.  One, her abuser is dead.  The stem of a large amount of torment she had gone through is completely gone.  Destroyed.  She’s free.  She’s finally free from the threats of rape and being beaten by the King.  but her conditioning is still kicked in.  She struggles through her own thoughts to find how she really feels- something she hasn’t been allowed to do over the last year.  

I don’t plan on delving in to AFFC right now to continue how Sansa’s behaviors and mechanisms have progressed/regressed/changed, however we see as we peruse Sansa V that her torment isn’t over yet.  She’s fallen right back in hand with someone who isn’t as physically dangerous to her (at the moment) as Joffrey was, but someone who’s skilled in psychologically manipulating others, who can prove just as dangerous- especially with someone in such a weak and easily swayed psychological mindset who has endured so much continuous trauma- Littlefinger.

He brushed back a strand of her hair. "You are old enough to know that your mother and I were more than friends. There was a time when Cat was all I wanted in this world. I dared to dream of the life we might make and the children she would give me . . . but she was a daughter of Riverrun, and Hoster Tully. Family, Duty, Honor, Sansa. Family, Duty, Honor meant I could never have her hand. But she gave me something finer, a gift a woman can give but once. How could I turn my back upon her daughter? In a better world, you might have been mine, not Eddard Stark's. My loyal loving daughter . . . Put Joffrey from your mind, sweetling. Dontos, Tyrion, all of them. They will never trouble you again. You are safe now, that's all that matters. You are safe with me, and sailing home."

-ASOS, Sansa V

Littlefinger takes Sansa at her most sensitive and whisks her away.  Most people follow the Hades/Persephone parallels ( "Thank you, my lord." Pomegranate seeds were so messy; Sansa chose a pear instead, and took a small delicate bite. It was very ripe. The juice ran down her chin.), but there is so much more to be gathered.  Littlefinger took a bird with a broken wing, thinking that this would be easy and simple to manipulate and succeed with.  But Littlefinger doesn’t understand that Sansa Stark has already started waking up.  She’s already started to come out of her defense mechanisms.  Slowly but surely she has been chipping away at dealing with the truth.  She has begun to accept that she was a pawn, begun to accept that she was easily manipulated, and come to the truth that no one will want her except for her claim.  

Which is the rebirth of Sansa Stark.  Where will her plot lead? There’s still a long road ahead for Sansa’s arc and plot, and a lot of learning for her to do.  No, she is not a master player of the game, and no, she is not a supreme manipulator (yet).  It is going to take all of TWOW, further betrayal from Littlefinger, and Sansa using everything that she has observed from Littlefinger and her own wits to get her to the point of “And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow. “ 

But she will get there.   By the age of 13, Sansa has suffered sexual, emotional, verbal, physical and pretty much any line of abuse that you could muster into thought.  She has survived it.  She kept herself in her own head, created fake situations and thoughts to displace the pain of the memories (unkiss comes to mind), but Sansa Stark has woken up and the wolf bitch is comin’ home.   

Sansa’s love life is one that’s up for debate consistently in the ASOIAF world, and while I don’t want any of her ‘love’ life to be the focus of this essay (I wouldn’t consider any of her political marriages to be love, despite her convincing herself to love Loras), I do love the chemistry, energy and connection between Sansa and Sandor, the only one of her male ‘suitors’ (wouldn’t really call him a suitor, but we’ll leave it for now) who gave her a choice and did not attempt to manipulate her for his political/regular gain.

And, just for some good ol’ crackpot fun, Sansa did convince herself that she could love a lame man in ASOS.....

On the upper slopes they saw three boys driving sheep, and higher still they passed a lichyard where a brother bigger than Brienne was struggling to dig a grave. From the way he moved, it was plain to see that he was lame. As he flung a spadeful of the stony soil over one shoulder, some chanced to spatter against their feet. "Be more watchful there," chided Brother Narbert. "Septon Meribald might have gotten a mouthful of dirt." The gravedigger lowered his head. When Dog went to sniff him he dropped his spade and scratched his ear.

-AFFC, Brienne

TL;DR: Sansa Stark used defense mechanisms because she is a prisoner of war who has suffered mountains of abuse, and she protected the shit out of herself by doing so.  The first 4 books for Sansa Stark were about survival: the next 3 are going to be about taking back her agency and her power of choice, and bringing parts of the realm back together.

[kairoskrp]

                                     — On the wicked wings of time, thy kingdom comes

Meet [ Song Jihyo ]

She is a [ thirty-five] year old  [ owner of safer shores ] currently residing in [ skyhall apartments, #605 ]. Visit  and greet  her today!

Personality: 

Song Jihyo is a force of nature. Regal, proud and strong, Jihyo has a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong. She easily feels taken advantage of and will often lash out harshly to make sure people now that’suna-fucking-ceptable.Generally kind-hearted, warm and passionate, she has a strong temper that flares up like a supernova but is also easily pacified. Above all, she is protective and will do anything to keep those she loves safe. She has seen too many things to still care for fear, let alone let it hold her back. Sweet to most, it is a good idea not to get on her bad side.

Spirit: Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons

Power:

Enhanced condition: The user’s physical and mental abilities are above natural members of their species in that verse, beyond what can be emulated via natural training and with little to no maintaining. This entails that they are faster, stronger, more intelligent and overall superior to fellow members of their species, without being obviously supernatural. (Think Captain America.) Jihyo has no extra mental capacities, though.

porcelain to ivory to steel: Jihyo has an increased resistance to pain and injuries. She is nearly immune to all poison or drugs (to her great dismay this includes caffeine and alcohol). Most people could barely hurt her with a punch, and normal knives while still hurting her will find considerably more resistance on her skin. She can fall from great heights that would kill a normal person, or simply blink as they break a chair over her arm. If normal people’s skill is paper, hers is steel.

even heroes have the right to bleed: even so, Jihyo is not invulnerable. Things like shooting her at point blank will still hurt her. While she may fall from greater height, shoving her out of a plane would still kill her. Giving her a ridiculous amount of drugs will still affect her. To her great dismay, alcohol and caffeine is included in the list, and so are painkillers, so when she does get hurt, it’s usually a slow, painful way to recovery. She heals slightly faster than regular humans, but not considerably so. She is more difficult to harm, but when she gets hurt it usually sucks big time for her. Also while she might be more resistant to actual injury, she is not that much more resistant to pain, meaning that while something might not harm her, it may very well still hurt her.

golden medalist girl: Jihyo is in prime condition, and doesn’t have to train much to maintain it. She is considerably more agile than an olympic gymnast, faster than a sprinter, has the stamina of the world’s greatest marathon runner, stronger than a sumo wrestler, has incredibly fast reflexes, and so on. She has a certain affinity to hand-to-hand and close combat especially.

jack of all trades: due to her all-compassing power, she doesn’t really excel at anything. This means that someone with enhanced strength would still be stronger, or enhanced speed would still be faster. Also, while a lot of complicated moves and human feats may be within her capacity, she still has to actually learn and practice the moves. To maintain her energy she must eat copious amounts of food and she often goes hungry.

my spideysense is tingling: along with her physical condition, her senses are also heightened, meaning she sees, hears, smells, feels and tastes on an increased level. She can smell several layers of scent, see greater distances and during night or through smoke (although she posses no skills like heat vision or the likes, so her vision is ultimately still on a human level.) She also has a heightened awareness of dangers.

hear my heart roar: she can however not stop this skill, much like any other part of her condition. This means that she can get overwhelmed if exposed to too much stimuli as well, which can cause headaches or nausea or send her into a panic attacks. Her danger sense also often translates into a sense of paranoia, where she might consider things far more dangerous than they may be.

Biography:

tw: drugs, violence, murder, implied child abuse, implied rape, prostitution

I.

She is a nameless girl, for all the names she has aren’t really hers. She’s a motherless girl, for all the women that hold her hand aren’t really hers. She is a lifeless girl, for the live she leads isn’t hers at all.

She follows a stranger in the airport and she lets a woman she doesn’t know coo over her. In the morning, her father made her swallow a bag of something white, and a doctor put even more inside. She didn’t cry, because good girls don’t cry. Good girls smile and twirl around in their pink princess dress and don’t throw up before they’re told, no matter what. Good girls help the family.

She is seven, and she knows this.

II.

You’re special, her father told her, his hand on her aching tummy. The bag feels heavy and wrong, but she doesn’t cry. Only you can carry something so valuable inside you.

Something inside her stirs, deep within the hollows of her bones, underneath the cage of her ribs, and she knows that to be true.

III.

If she closes her eyes: golden shores, the waves calm and clear enough to see the vividly coloured fish swim, warm as the water washes over her bare feet. It is a dream, maybe, or a memory lodged in the confines of her veins, a soft thrumming like the humming of a bird’s wings. When she closes her eyes, the world is hers, the sand underneath her feet is hers and she belongs.

When she opens them: the smell of chlorine and car exhaust, she sits quietly like a doll by the poolside of a city she doesn’t know as people talk in a language she doesn’t understand. They have taken what is valuable from within her outside of her and with that, she loses her value. She’s just a girl. Just a kid, forgotten.

Just a vessel.

IV.

No one sees her, until Hayoon does. She will have a name to remember, she will have a legacy. She is beautiful, a mirage in the darkness, starlight eyes with a sunshine smile. They never taught Jihyo love, but she knows that’s what it is, the flutter beat of her heart. They never taught Jihyo love or peace or calm, but she knows that’s what it is.

Hayoon wants to be a dancer. She trains ballet, twirling in the sunlight. She loses her balance and wobbles and Jihyo catches her. Hayoon laughs, but doesn’t try again.

So she grows up like this: playing alone in the corner, pretending the sticks she finds are swords of old, gleaming in the sun. She rages against the sky, besieges the doll castle she got as a gift, conquers a foreign street. Hayoon at her side always, Hayoon twirling in the golden light, Hayoon laughing, Hayoon’s sleepy face smudges against her chest.

Protect, the voice inside her whispers, and Jihyo pulls her closer.

V.

You’re becoming more beautiful every day, they tell Hayoon, and it frightens Jihyo. She knows what that will mean. She is twelve and she understands the ways of the world now. She cannot shield her eyes any longer. Being beautiful means being wanted, and what people want can be sold, but only if the people wanting are important because of their numbers. But Hayoon giggles and she can’t talk.

No one ever asks what she wants. (She wants, more than anything, to go to those golden shores, to hear the birds sing there, to speak in that language that sometime flies through her mind like a fleeting memory, a wisp in the air, a hint of something greater.)

VI.

If she closes her eyes: a white knuckled grip on a kopis, the taste of blood in her mouth but none of it hers, a field of men slewn at her feet as she roars with victory.

If she opens them: Hayoon crying, her eyes swollen shut, blood trickling down her nose. Hayoon screaming they’re going to sell me, they’re going to hurt me. Hayoon crying don’t let them hurt me.

VII.

She is right. They come for her, cursing and forceful. And Hayoon crying don’t let them hurt me, don’t let them hurt me. Hayoon screaming, unnie, save me.

Hayoon screaming don’t let them hurt me, but Jihyo is just a little girl, and she doesn’t want pain either. She is weak and fragile and all alone.

Fight, the voice inside her roars, and Jihyo listens.

VIII.

She is not a girl in a cage, she is not a broken bird. She is a goddess. The blood they have spilled so carelessly is the blood of a queen. Her pulse roars like the rally cry of an army, deafening over her own screams.  In her wake, empires fall. Her eyes have witnessed hundreds of spears gleaming in the sun, coated with blood.

Fight, the voice inside her roars.

She is not fragile. She is unbreakable. She is a tenacious protector, fierce in her wrath.

Fight, the voice inside her roars.

Her anger sparks like a supernova, like a galaxy bursting into life, violent and glorious, a darkness and then the light, her frightened animal heart breaking out of its cage, the golden shores washed by tidal waves.

Fight, the voice inside her roars. I will protect you, the voice inside her promises, and Jihyo is unafraid.

IX.

When the anger subsides and the voice stops roaring, they are all dead at her feet. Hayoon’s eyes are wide and teary-eyed, but when the footsteps sound, she doesn’t hesitate. She takes Jihyo’s hand and pulls her along and together they run into the night.

X.

Life on the street is harder than life in her golden cage, but it is free. She has Hayoon, she has an army of girls just like them, girls who ran into the night with their heads held high, girls with scars and bruises, who fell apart at the seams once, who picked themselves back up. She has Hayoon, she has a stranger’s wallet in her hand. She has a friend and dreams about a woman, strong like a mother, protecting her.

What more could a girl want?

XI.

Of course it is a man who ruins it.

XII.

You are meant for more than this, he says.

This means Hayoon shivering in a corner, this means boys fleeing with broken bones and bruised ribs. This means starving, slowly but surely. This means freezing, slowly but surely. This means living like an animal.

The voice inside her agrees and Jihyo listens.

XIII.

So he teaches her, how to fight, how to destroy. A vessel of another kind. No more deliveries. No more things given, but things taken.

He gives her names.

She makes the names go away.

XIV.

Life is good for a while. They regain another golden palace, Hayoon by her side. No longer a lost girl, but a queen. (And he, her king, in the silent spaces of her mind.)

But Hayoon stops smiling one day. She goes quiet and cold. She doesn’t like it when he comes near her, but she doesn’t tell Jihyo to leave. Jihyo knows, she didn’t like the streets. She didn’t like the fear of it, the uncertainty.

Jihyo knows, Hayoon is too beautiful to suffer like that.

XV.

Months pass and the swelling of Hayoon’s belly can’t be denied anymore. At dinner, Hayoon looks at the table but Jihyo looks at him. He looks away, and Jihyo knows: she should have never trusted a man. No one talks about it, but the truth lies heavy in the air between them, always on the verge of threatening to spill into words.

XVI.

Hayoon doesn’t want to run anymore, so they stay. Her baby girl is healthy, but Hayoon doesn’t smile. Hayoon barely looks. She has his eyes.

A year of silence and Jihyo finds her on the ledge of the apartment building. Hayoon twirls in the golden sunlight of the setting sun and then she is gone.

Then it’s all gone.

XVII.

Fight, the voice inside her roars, but Jihyo is too tired. She knows what fighting means. It means taking more things out of the world.

She doesn’t want anything out of this world. She wants Hayoon in it. She wants Hayoon back. Fight, fight, fight, the voice inside her roars, destroy.

Protect, she tells it. Protect.

XX.

Protect, she tells the voice inside her.

And it answers her. Protect.

[kittenwritesstuff]

P.S. I love you - part X (final)

Summary: When your husband, Tony, dies, you are convinced that your life ended along with his. On the day of your 30th birthday you receive a surprise from Tony and with every letter from him, you start to learn how to live on your own - based on a plot of ‘P.S. I love you’ for @hunters-from-stark-tower‘s  3K Celebration Movie AU Challenge. Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader, Tony Stark x reader (in flashbacks) Warnings: none Words: 1.932 A/N: This is it - the last part. Thank you all for reading and commenting and I hope you’ll enjoy the ending! 

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX Read on AO3

It took you four days to arrange everything.

First, the place – Yankees’ stadium, you deemed, was the best one since you and your companion both loved them.

Second, the partner. Scott didn’t answer your calls for two days after the lunch fiasco, but after you’ve texted him and apologized from the bottom of your heart. He wasn’t really eager to meet you, at first, but as you were more and more persuasive, he finally gave in and agreed.

Third, the letter. Last letter from Tony is put in your coat’s pocket and as you wait for Scott to arrive, you stroke it with your fingers, feeling as if Tony was encouraging you to do it. To do the right thing.

And you believe that what you are about to do is, indeed, the right thing.

A shadow moves on the tunnel’s ground and you turn your gaze in its direction, your eyes meeting Scott’s confused ones.

“Didn’t know you can book your own game.”

“Not a game, just the place.”

“Look, Y/N, I don’t know what the hell is it all about, but I don’t like it,” he admits sincerely, raising his hands a bit in a defensive gesture.

“Oh, you’re out of your pills?” you jest, and fish the letter out of your pocket. Scott looks at it and gives you a frown, his brows knitted into one above his questioning gaze.

“It’s okay, I want you to read it for me.”

“You sure?”

You nod in reply, tilting your head after you handed him the envelope, the two of you step onto sward and you head onto the platform. When you get there, you wave your hand at Scott, encouraging him to start reading.

He opens the envelope and takes the pages out, unfolding the letter as he clears his throat. He’s unsure about the idea, it’s clear to see but you want to carry on before you can change your mind.

“My dear Y/N,” he begins, his eyes go briefly at you and you nod, pacing the space of the platform, “I don’t have much time. Not literally, you just went out for ice-cream and you’ll be home soon. I have a feeling this is going to be last letter, baby, because there is only one thing left to tell you. I won’t ask you to go down memory lane again, or to buy a lamp. Those things, you can take care of them yourself, without my help. This one is to tell you how much you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me, Y/N. And for that, I am eternally grateful.. literally. If you can promise me anything, baby, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or angry, or unsure or find yourself losing faith – try seeing yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I regret nothing, not even a second. How lucky I am! You made my life, Y/N, you made it better. But I’m just a chapter in yours. And there will be others, I promise.”

Scott takes a shaky breath, visibly touched by Tony’s words and you blink few times, holding back tears. You’re standing still now, waiting for him to finish.

“So here comes the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Don’t run away from it. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.”

“Alright, Scott, come over here,” you beckon him, your voice a bit unsure but you know it’s right. Tony gave you a blessing, didn’t he? And maybe Scott is the one you should start a new chapter with, even if you didn’t think about him that way before.

He climbs on the platform, standing in front of you, a small grimace on his face.

“Now what?”

“Now you kiss me. That’s it, yeah. Kiss me.”  

“Okay, alright, I’m on it,” he shrugs and leans in, his face coming closer and closer to yours until there is no space between the two of and your lips are pressed together.

You close your eyes, moving your mouth slowly against his, pulling yourself closer to him. Scott moves his hand to cradle your head but in the last moment, he changes his mind and step away.

“Good gracious, it’s like kissing my sister!”

“Oh, thank God, I thought I was the only one feeling like that,” you pant, wiping at your lips and he gazes at you, half-amused, half-repulsed.

“You know, I dreamt about his moment for a while but it was bad. Not that you’re a bad kisser, it’s just…”

“Not right, I know.”

He lets out a breathy laugh, nodding his head.

“So, weird friendship?”

“Yeah, weird friendship sounds perfect. Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve?”

“No, why?”

You smile softly, taking his hand in yours.

“Will you go to Natasha’s wedding with me?”

He beams, clutching a hand to his chest.

“Like a date?” he chuckles when you nod eagerly. “Sure, just don’t vomit on me.”

“Can’t promise that.”

_____

December 31st

You collapse on your chair, panting heavily after yet another crazy dance with Scott. He’s with Wanda now, swirling her around like a madman, but your sister seems to enjoy it.

A giggle rings from your left and you shift to look at Peggy. She looks absolutely stunning in a green dress Nat chose for her bridesmaids, her baby belly round and adorable.

“Can I stroke your tummy, please?” you plea and she nods, smiling widely when you rest your hand on her stomach.

“You’re be that aunt that will spoil our kid rotten,” she jokes, although affectionately, “and Steve joked you should pat his crotch, too, since he help make this baby.”

“Oh, you want me to touch his crotch, cause I don’t!”

“Naaah, he better be happy with only me patting his crotch.”

The two of you burst into laughter, drawing Steve’s surprised gaze but he only shrugs and continues walking toward Nat and Clint to have a dance with the bride.

Your lips curl into a gleeful smile when you stare at the just-married couple. Clint’s eyes are so full of love and adoration and Nat just can’t stop looking at him as if Clint’s world greatest treasure. They’re going to be so very happy and you couldn’t be happier for them.

“So, you’ve opened your own boutique,” Peggy points and you nod, reaching for a glass of water.

“After taking a loan and countless hours spent on planning the whole thing, yes I have opened my own shoe shop. I’m a designer now, Pegs, remember it.”

“I’m so proud you, Y/N,” she says fondly, stroking your hair and you flash her a warm smile, feeling your heart swell. You can never thank them enough for being your friends and supporting you during last year and you only hope you’re being a good friend to them, too.

All of you have new chapters ahead, but you’re not afraid anymore. Not angry at God that he’s taken away your husband, not sad that you wake up alone. You finally understood what your mother meant when she asked you to stop waiting. You just need to take your life in your hands and squeeze out what you want from it.

And you can’t wait see what more you’re able to wring out.

_____

A month later

Making yourself comfortable, you prop your back against the pillows, placing your notebook on your bended legs. Pressing a pen to the blank page, you begin writing.

“Dear Tony,

You said you wanted me to fall in love again and maybe I will. But not now. There are all kinds of love out there and I need to focus on them, before I take care of mine. This is my one and only life and I want to make the best of it. It’s ugly and hard and short and sometimes terrible, and none of us comes out of it alive. I don’t have a plan – you said once that my plans never work out anyway – expect for one. I want to make my mom laugh again. She’s never seen the world. She’s never been to Ireland. So, yes, I am taking her when we started.

I don’t know how you did it, honey, but you brought me back from the dead. I’ll write to you again soon, pinky promise.

P.S…. guess what?”

You let out a breath as you fold the page and slide it into an envelope. You sign it with Tony’s name and get up, pull out a drawer from Tony’s nightstand and put the letter in there.

With a bright smile on your face, you go the living room and sit before your laptop. It’s time to book the tickets.

_____

Spring

“I’ve never seen so much green in one place,” your mother marvels as you stroll down the country road leading to the Stark’s farm. She seems to be stunned by the landscapes, amazed but content. A smile never once disappeared from her face since you’ve landed in Ireland.

It’s nice to see her smile so much.

“You called them, right?”

“Yes, I did. They said they can’t wait to finally meet you.”

The two of you come closer to the farm, watching as men walk around, from a barn to a big truck parked at the side of the road, stacks of hay in their grasps.

Your mom gives you a nervous glance as you lead her towards the house, walking past workers.

“Y/N?” a surprised voice calls and you look over your shoulder, seeing Bucky exiting the barn with a stack in his hold.

“Bucky!” you cheer, halting as he approaches you.

“Visiting your in-laws again?”

“Yeah, I thought I’d bring my mom to see Ireland, too.”

“That’s grand. Nice to meet you, ma’am,” he bows his head a little, greeting your mom and she looks at you curiously. You’ll have a questioning later, that’s for sure.

Another man approaches you and your mom smiles politely at him when he drops the stack he’s carrying.

“Dad, you okay?” Bucky asks and makes to help his father, but the latter waves a hand at him.

“Not every day I see such a lovely gal, son,” the man says and smiles cheekily at your mom, who, much to your amazement, bursts into a fit of giggles. It’s a sweet, melodic sound and you blink, awe-struck by it.

“See you around, then, Y/N,” Bucky says as he pats his father’s back, hinting that they should get back to work.

“Sure,” you nod and before he goes too far away an idea strikes you. You rummage through your bag and fish out a small notebook, opening it and scribbling your cell number and your e-mail address with a pencil you found in your bag.

“Wait!” you call after him and Bucky turns around after he throws the hay on the truck. “Here. Call me or write me, whatever suits you best.”

You slide the note into a chest pocket of his flannel and he flashes you a warm smile, thanking you. You then come back to your mother, resuming the short walk to Maria’s and Howard’s front door.

When you stand before it, your mom looks at you, evidently excited and you ask,

“ready?”

“Yes, I am. You, darling?”

You take a breath as you raise your hand to press the doorbell, your heart pounding in your chest – not from fear or nervousness, but from excitement.

“I’m ready.”

And damn sure you are.