#every day i live in fear
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suspiciousbatintux · 2 months ago
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wait i just realised we still don't know what the photo booth trading outfits thing was for, unless I missed sth in the show? I don't remember seeing any references to that
It could be for the iceberg "clothes" option, but seems a bit elaborate lol
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neverheardnothing · 2 years ago
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Album + Iconis & Family concert breakdown/review
I wanted to consolidate my thoughts on Album after having enough time to digest the songs and their recorded versions. Here’s my track by track breakdown no one asked for. Warning, it’s a long one.
Album
A bit navel gaze-y, she types for her Iconis dedicated blog while wearing her Iconis and Family t-shirt she got on a trip she spent way too much money on entirely to see Joe, lol. On my generous days I’ll say I think he deserves it though, and then on my hater days I’m rolling my eyes. It’s very Joe, a sprawling mess of a too long song, it’s just that it’s too much about him as a person in a way that doesn’t excite me. Not to say I think Joe is boring but I don’t think it was written in a way that appeals to me. By itself, it’s mostly a skip because of sheer length, it isn't all that good/exciting of a song, and Joe isn’t the best singer. I think I like his live performances more because on professionally recorded it sounds just good enough that it’s in an uncanny valley between the rawness and messiness that live allows and which Joe does well in and the cleanness of recorded. I do enjoy the family coming in at the end as well as the little references to other songs of his littered throughout. That’s the main redeemable part of the song. Well, the music is nice but that’s usually a given. The ever so slight echo-y haunting quality is great. But not enough that I’m going to ever listen to it enough to remember the words and the order of the call and response at the end.
Best memory of the song was on the Saturday Iconis and Family Album release concert at 54 Below where within the first verse, Joe forgot the lyrics and had to start over.
The Answer
Interesting singer pick for the song. Yeah, Joe says that not one person is on Album solely for their name but, well, some people are clearly here at least partially because of it. Not discounting his performance at all, it’s very good. Just doesn’t stand out from the many other versions of this song that are out there. I haven’t seen Aaron Tveit in enough to be able to judge his acting in general, but everything in his version felt stock, standard, safe. It was very impressive vocally and sounds really good but this is a teenager having a breakdown about his life path, and it doesn’t quite sound like that. Again, it’s good but it’s like he didn’t put his stink on the song which is what I’m looking for when I hear new performances of a song other people have done.
Ammonia
Charlie R once said something of the sort that hearing a song fully/with new orchestrations for the first time is like only looking at line art for so long and then seeing a colored image. Yeah. Man, yeah.
All the other performances of Ammonia have cut that one verse since Heidi did it and I’m glad it’s back. I could and have spent hours listening to this version. The ominous bass was an obvious choice for orchestration but that doesn’t make it any less good when you hear it. I’m always a big slut for strings so hearing those spiccato high notes is great. The strings in general make this song feel so expansive. It sounds like the freedom of an empty house, taking up more space than there is physically. It’s loud and sweeping and epic in the exact way this song and the story told in it deserves. Fuck. I love Ammonia.
Heidi deserves awards for her performance in this song. Also I can’t believe it was one of the songs released early, I was thinking we would have to wait till the entire thing came out to hear this monster of a song, but no it was just out there. It forced me to listen to this one hours on repeat because nothing else was out (except for Kevin) and you’d think the song would be diminished on that many repeat listenings but yet during each one my mind was still fucking blown by how good it was.
Archie's All-American
The energy of this song is fucking infectious. At the concert, we went straight from Album into this song and the instant head boppin’ energy was palpable from within a second of the instrumental starting up. EWM was fucking great on this song in person and I’ll be honest I think I like that more than ABF’s version on the Album, though maybe I’m biased because I just really like EWM’s voice. Not to say that the Album version isn’t good, but I think the instrumental mix didn’t go as hard as it did in person (drums really gave it that extra oomph). ABF does bring a youthful energy to his version that’s very nice and fitting of the song. Speaking of ABF, apparently he did a demo version of Kaboom and I would kill a man for it. God, this song just makes you want to fucking dance.
Lydia's Song
I know absolutely nothing about Beetlejuice but Lauren doing this song is always such a weird goddamn delight. Lyrically, this song isn't my favorite but the music and performance Lauren consistently gives is unparalleled. I know it’s called acting, but her mood when she was singing this song in person was so dour I actually got fooled into thinking she wasn’t happy to be there briefly. Also, strings. The deep, sparingly used drum beats. They add so much to the atmosphere of this song. Fucking superb, Charlie.
The Protector
Joe, tell me what this song means you bastard. I know you saw my Reddit AMA comment because you acknowledged it when answering the other one!! Todd Solondz’s Happiness apparently helped inspire this song which means I have to go watch it at some point. This song wasn’t one of my regular listens before Album because it was so confusing but lately I’ve been thinking about it a lot.
I know I’m overusing this word and I’ll use it several more times before we’re through with this breakdown, but the music of this song is so fucking haunting and beautiful. The dissonant chords. The deep piano. The journey you go on with this song. First listen you think it’s an extended joke with the “in Florida” punchline but on repeat listens it starts to be more than that. The music and lyrics are both a bit too chilling. To me, this song has always been about a father, too beaten down by life and haunted by the past, to trust his son with his own safety, but that feels pretty surface level after you get past the Florida joke reading, though I do think my readings of songs tend to stay pretty surface level. I’ll be wondering what else I’m missing for a long time.
Another overused term, this song is a liminal space. It’s distant shores. It’s snowy fields of white. It’s record stores. It’s suburbs bathed in white. It’s too-real conversations that can only happen in kitchens late at night and are never accessible again, but have changed you and your understanding of the other person forever. I have no fucking clue what the Florida bit is supposed to mean, even still.
Maybe the placement of this song on Album, sandwiched between Lydia’s Song and Kevin, will provide further clues but for now the mystery of The Protector remains unsolved.
Kevin
I didn’t realize Andrew R was as popular as he was but I guess considering the 81k streams on this song at time of writing (second most popular being the title song at 13k), he brings in the listeners. I admit I’m more partial to Jeremy M’s version of the song. I think he fits in the character more and makes bolder decisions, but he doesn’t sit as well with the music. Andrew plays it very straight, sarcastic, and vitriolic while Jeremy’s is a bit more flighty and wondrous. I haven’t checked to confirm but it feels like the tempo is slowed a bit for the middle of the song which I’m pretty ok with on this track. His delivery on “I mean you didn’t even live here then so it wasn’t really a thing for you” is so good. You can taste the contempt. The police sirens are a golden touch. I can see it in my head, him stone faced, nonchalantly walking opposite past police cars racing towards the scene.
Another person who is probably on here at least partially because of the name, but I’m ok with it because he kills it (literally) on this track. Finished typing this and just remembered his numerous Broadway credits, yeah he’s popular lol.
Jeff
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined and you know exactly why. The goddamn lyric change. Changing “naked Korean girl” to “naked caucasian girl” makes the song instantly lose 1/3rd (literally a third, her 3 traits are: naked, Korean, and girl) of its meaning because at least for my reading, the fetishization of the exoticness of the east is baked into the song. I know everyone’s gonna be like IT’S NOT THAT DEEP and that’s fine, I’m still gonna rant here. The whole point of the song is that Jeff is looking to this person who he thinks is the complete opposite of him, of which the Korean part is intentionally drawing upon the long history of painting the east as foreign and other, and wishing to be like her.
The specific change to caucasian seems like such a weird one, too. Who SAYS caucasian? To my knowledge, no one is out here saying “I’m caucasian” in the way people say “I’m white/Korean/Black/etc.” I get why Joe changed it because if I were a white man I wouldn’t be writing a song like that, but well, he did, and I liked it the way it was.
Maybe it wasn’t intended to be read that way and Joe just needed a nationality that would fit with that number of syllables, but he wrote Korean originally and that’s how the song was popularized and now that meaning is part of the song, death of the author etc. Just like it’d be pretty impossible to change Just Means or Nerd Love to be less uncomfortable/offensive without changing the DNA of the song, you can’t change Jeff, even if on the surface the issue seems restricted to one word. Changing it seems both cowardly AND neuters the song. I would love to talk to Joe about this and why he changed it but that doesn’t ever seem likely to happen. Final take, it should’ve stayed as “Korean.”
Also, I don’t know how much I jive with the trans interpretation of this song. Yeah, we’re going even further down this rabbit hole. The original lyric of Korean makes me instantly think of the way white men specifically fetishize Asian women, especially in film and porn, in a way that’s so cishet and about the white male/Asian female (forgive my use of the term I promise I’m not going mrasian on you) interaction and yellow fever that it’s hard for me to see past it as anything other than fetishization. I don’t think Joe was intentionally writing about any of this other than to use Korean as a shortcut catch-all for Asian exoticness to highlight the otherness from Jeff’s experience. Even some lyrics within the song push back on the more sexual parts of this interpretation (“I don’t want her to think that I’m some perv on some voyeuristic trip” “I promise I’m not looking out of carnal frustration”) but then come the first “oh” part of the song where I take it to mean he’s deriving some sort of pleasure, sexual or not, from this, so who knows how reliable of a narrator Jeff is, though I do tend to take his word on it when he says it’s nonsexual. Not to say that it can’t be fetishistic without it being sexual. Nor that this and the trans reading of the song are exclusive, just that the former is what is overpoweringly what I think of when I hear this song.
Ok, we’re done with the it’s not that deep section.
With that out of the way, Jeremy is fucking great. He plays both the humor and the complexities of this song so fucking well. I love the very specifically chosen grammar incongruity in the line “a couple couples see me fall all over but none of them cares.” It’s subtle enough that you might miss it at first or think that the singer messed up the lyrics but it’s consistent throughout different people singing this song and you realize it’s supposed to convey Jeff’s drunken state. Such a small detail. I fucking love it. Jeremy’s delivery also changes a bit. You can hear the swallows and the slight lag in speech. I can feel his fantasy shatter and reality come crashing back in when he says “myself just staring back at me.” The ever so slight hint of bitterness in his voice when he says “your life will be the same.” It’s so subtle and so good. Man, Jeremy’s performance on this song is unparalleled and it’s a shame this version is ruined by the lyric change. I love this song so much despite how sinister it feels to me. It really is a masterful combo of music, lyrics, and performance.
BUT I AM NOT THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember when people shipped Kevin and Jeff? Wild times and I never really understood why. Okay, I do in that they’re both named sadboi characters whose songs have a surprising life and death twist, but on a deeper level I don’t think these characters have anything that would make them compatible. At the core, their characters are based on apathy and self-hatred respectively and what about those two things go well together I’m lost on. It does make for good vibes and aesthetics I guess.
64
Using Joe lyrics to talk about different Joe songs. “I think about the legacy and all those who came before.” Guess all his street number songs are obviously going to be about history and legacy. The cyclic nature of inspiration. The deconstruction of the rose tinted glasses we see the past through. Alan is so good on this track it makes me almost angry. Slight growl on “drink at McHale’s.” His voice is so smooth. The new orchestrations for this song are so pretty and definitely on the subtler side. Touch of strings, brass, and drums that gives it some extra color but still mainly piano and guitar like in the live version. I love the not quite synchronization on the delivery of “good lord, nostalgia’s so complex!” Also just having 3 people who can really fucking sing on this tracks brings so much life to it.
Play the Princess
Much in the way I think Hosing The Furniture woman and Ammonia woman should leave their husbands and get together, I think the two women in Play The Princess should kiss about it. I think they kinda swapped out a jazzy style for a more country vibe. I can believe this version of the song happens in the backstage of Bloodsong. I do admit I really miss Katrina’s voice on this track, I don’t think L Morgan and Destinee’s voices go as well together. Like they talked about on the podcast, they both seem sorta type-less, but L Morgan sells the princess type a lot more than Destinee does the tough type. Or maybe I’m just too used to hearing Katrina’s powerful voice on this song. Overall, I just don’t think Destinee gave a good performance. Like at 3:40 you can hear her just fade out and it’s only L Morgan singing. What the hell is that? Maybe a lack of communication from having recorded separately? Whatever it is, this track turned out to be pretty disappointing and it was one of the ones I was most looking forward to when the tracklist was announced.
On one hand, I guess it says something about how these women perceive themselves to be that type and mentally put themselves in those boxes when in actuality they don’t come across as it and that they have much more in common than they give themselves credit for, but on the other hand they’re both just sorta same-y and the lack of contrast doesn’t excite me.
The Actress
All the Obie awards to this performance. This song is so Katrina’s that I literally cannot imagine anyone else doing it. I love the new zombie-like “yaaas queen.” It’s my exact reaction to her singing like this and that’s exactly why that line is in there. I love how you need to have that loud and high voice the song talks about to pull it off, but she also retains so much of her uniqueness in her performance that the song talks about throwing away. Also, god this song is so fucking bonkers. Just so classic Joe. The seven minute insane character story epic. This type of song is what I think of when I think of a Joe composition. For translation from live to studio, no complaints. Pretty much a replica and it works very well.
The Song
This fucking song makes me want to hide under sheets and never come out again. This is not the song I should feel called out by the amount of raw fucking lines that make me feel way too seen, but yet here we are. Songs to make my future therapist listen to for sure. Insert Gordon Ramsay’s it’s fucking raw.jpg here.
This along with the next song on Album is of those songs by Joe where you go “oh this is about him” to “oh it’s actually only about him in the same way that all the songs he writes are about him, but he uses the context of his real person to make it seem like it’s only about him on surface level reading.” Brilliance. That’s also why I have trouble believing that it’s solely based on any relationship in Joe’s real life. Sure, he probably drew inspiration, but I doubt this is anything close to a one to one recount of what happened in his life. Off topic, but it feels the same as when people think A Strange Loop is autobiographical for Michael R. Jackson. Yes they drew varying levels of inspiration from their own lives but it’s clearly about a character and not themselves.
Sometimes I lean towards maybe The Song could be about a real life relationship with the introduction he gives it (can only be sung when a certain someone doesn’t come to the concert), but I always wonder how true that is. I used to take it at face value but lately I've been thinking about the bits he's done in the past in between songs that aren't true so now we're back where we started. The introduction could be part of the performance. Then I also remember how Joe's material never is surface level about him, they're all done through characters, slightly more apparent in All The Mistakes than in this song, which makes me even more sure that this song is also about a character. Am I overthinking this? I'm probably overthinking this.
This is the song on the album that should have an intro, not fucking Muthers. I want that intro on here to fuck with people’s heads even more.
All the Mistakes That He Made About the Girl
Sad to say that it's not as rockin’ and angry as in the live videos. Unfortunately that’s a complaint about almost every single song on here but y’know, only so much you can do when translating live to studio. I feel like Joe just isn’t slamming on the keys as hard as he can like this song deserves. The electric guitar and drums helps but also Joe just doesn’t sound as aggressive as he does in other performances. I think there’s a slight synthetic effect on Joe’s voice throughout the song? Or maybe not, but definitely at “he’ll be back where he started” it’s very audible and I enjoy that a lot. I’m also liking the electric guitar arpeggios. Also once again, a sucker for strings. 
I love that in a way this song is the opposite of The Actress in that while they both talk about how well the performer can sing, The Actress actually calls for that performance while this song is exclusively performed by Joe and anyone can admit he’s not the greatest singer.
Yesterdays / I Can't Relate
I’m so conflicted because I love the version Jared did at the Lincoln Center and the higher chorus a lot and yet Jason V’s voice is so deep and soothing and I think it fits song better. I could easily see this song on some indie artist’s 5 track EP. Both Jason T and Jared start off with like a weariness in their acting but Jared moves into almost reproachfulness by the end while Jason T stays mostly weary. Love both vibes. I do miss synthy piano, it evoked like an 80s sorta feel. This song so melancholy that I don’t listen to it that much but it really pulls off the vibes it’s going for. Old man too confused and tired to yell at clouds.
Building a Fort
I like this song only so far as it’s a good character song. I don’t really care for it musically or lyrically. One line that always throws me is “I’m not answering your email, I’m throwing out my phone” because I always feel like this song is a spiritual brother to Albuquerque Anyway. It seems very much from the POV of a child so having a phone and email to check seems so strange. Do children check emails? I really don’t think it could be an adult with the way the music is and the rest of the language of the song. If it is that sure would be weird. Anyway the song is cutesy but not for me most days. I love that the backup vocals though are also (as far as I can tell) all by himself alone.
Haddonfield, 15 Years Later (For Judith)
COME ON HOME!!!!!!! During the very first listen I was sort of concerned by how low energy it was but then it kicked into high gear and every single fear was assuaged. Jared fucking kills it so goddamn hard (sidenote: I’ve been re-listening to Isolated Thunderstorms and Elusive Particle is such a fucking jam). I like breakdown laughter a lot since now it isn't a solo song and he doesn't have to Carry the entire thing but also man, do miss those High Notes. The choir arrangements are so fucking fantastic I need to give Joel my life. I want to hear just the vocal tracks on this song. The arrangement and amount of people singing also really helps with the volume and energy. Love the drop out on the lyrics (same thing as in MITB). In the Sunday performance, Jared did a little inhale like he was gonna start singing before stepping away from the mic. God tier. Platonic hand in marriage to that acting choice. Jared so consistently brings like 200% to performances I really want to see him in a full length Joe musical one day. Oh, also time to admit I haven't seen Halloween.
Sympathy for the Killer
Not one of my regular listens before Album but Liz does so good on this song that she and the song are growing on me actually. Previously I had only really thought of her doing Velociraptor but she killed so hard on this song (or rather was killed) both acting and singing-wise (sidenote: definitely gonna be keeping an eye out on White Girl In Danger). As a song itself, it’s not my favorite, but it’s short enough, Liz gives a good enough performance, and the production is fun enough that I’ll listen to it most of the time. I love the dissonant piano, the laughing, the sighs. Fun fact it’s also the second shortest song on Album (behind Slide Whistle). A Joe song less than 3 minutes long is a rare, rare thing.
Helen Sharp
Previously a “Joe sings this so there’s a layer of extra irony/meaning” song but literally anything lost from Joe performing it is instantly made up for one hundredfold with Lorinda’s performance. Are you fucking kidding me?!?! I am literally fucking speechless. I don’t have words to describe how good she is on this. Charlie’s work on the song also helps elevate it to a new fucking level. I love the at times creeping and other grandiose strings, along with the brass (what is that, a tuba?) that joins in right at the end. It helps expand the world of the song so much. I truly know nothing about the movie Death Becomes Her but I can imagine this version of Helen Sharp actually doing something, anything, about Madeline. Meanwhile, Joe’s version is also angry and bitter, but seemed more content to just bitch about it, and the orchestrations definitely help with that difference. I love the venom in Lorinda’s voice at “everything you wanted for yourself” but honestly I could pick 10 different deliveries to put in there and they’d all be true. I love Lauren being so audible in that first shout of “Madeline” when more people join in. I love the scream. I love the whisper of “Madeline” at the end.
When the YT release of the Lincoln Center performance happened, Lauren posted a picture of this song happening on her insta story captioned with something along the lines of “if only you could hear the names Joe is shouting in our living room right now” and I would kill to be a fly in that living room wall right then. I mean I think we can all guess the names but it’d still be fun to hear.
The Nurse and the Addict
Heard that one version of Joe singing it at the MTF so many times that my brain leaves in the flub he did and not hearing it on this version always throws me for a loop momentarily. The typewriter clack noises are brilliant and so, so fun. My platonic hand in marriage to whoever thought of it. Probably Charlie. I love that editing gets us the complete dead silence for after "pull away a bit" to the point where someone thought the song stopped playing. It’s so jarring. This track is one of the best live to studio translations on Album. All the new additions to the instrumentation are so good. Taylor’s voice has this sort of innocence and optimism to it that makes the relationship in the song feel even more unbalanced. When he just straight up starts screaming at the end it even sounds melodic.
Out Of Sight / Out Of Mind
Rip “(The Buddy Song)” lol. A song that got that the banjo/country orchestration which I don’t know if I enjoy on this song as much. This is mostly a skip unfortunately, not even the strings can save it. Well, there is one part I very much enjoy which is the slow part at the 4 minute mark. That “and not care all about me like how I care all about you” reminds me instantly of Krysta singing Adore. I think if we cut a minute or so out of it I’d be more inclined to listened to it. I enjoy the lyrical contents and theme of the song a lot but musically it’s just not my thing and the style on Album isn’t helping. Krysta does a good job on the song though. Not that I would trade it for Jared’s version but I do want to hear her do Haddonfield with the new choir arrangements.
The Saddest Girl in the World
Liz did this song live at the concerts and I enjoyed it then but otherwise it’s a skip. On the Saturday performance on her way up to the stage she stopped by a friend of mine’s table during the “he don’t have to be of age” line and said hi to him, which killed me. Otherwise, I don’t enjoy pretty much anything about this song. Not the music nor the lyrics. Not really sure why there was what amounted to a pointless lyric change. I don’t think Kerry did the best on this song. Really I don’t have much to say about this song. The only way I can really enjoy this song is solely as a snapshot of a character like Just Means. Wish this had been replaced by one of the songs on my missed list. Definitely a skip.
Norman
This version elevated Norman from a skip. It’s because of the strings. I’m always a sucker for violin no matter the situation. The very slow run right before 2 minutes in is so lovely. The contrast between the elegance of the violin and the lyrics and mood of the song is so stark and I love it. The staccato. The anger and volume and scream behind “I wish we were.” The stutter. The numerous girls in the background laughing and talking and calling his name. I definitely picked out Lauren’s distinctive voice. Haven’t seen Psycho but this performance seemed much more of a character than other ones I’ve seen. I am also always just constantly blown away by how new orchestrations can make it feel like you’re hearing a song for the first time. Thanks Charlie for literally my entire life.
(Run Away from You)
It regrettably does not go as hard as that one version of Joe at Two River which is my all time favorite which is unfortunate. I love the slight distortion/electronic effect on Jason’s voice during “girl I swear with all my werewolf heart” as well the crunchy electric guitar throughout. The “hide behind the bushes” etc part just does not have the level of intensity as it needs to make the song really work. It needs to build to frenetic levels and leave you feeling like you’re stalking down the street right alongside him but instead I feel like it didn’t go anywhere and I fell asleep inside the bush. I miss the werewolf breathing sounds. I’m wondering if Jason wasn’t feeling well or something when recording because this is not as good as it could’ve been. There are videos of him doing better. I think I’m being a bit overly harsh on this, it’s honestly not that bad and nowhere near the worst live to studio adaptation on this album, it’s just that I know it could be a lot better so I’m disappointed.
The Prisoner's Christmas Song
Not one of my regular listens before Album. I don’t think I care much for the song in particular but Grace gives such a performance and musically it fucks severely. Honestly just copy paste my exact feelings on Sympathy For The Killer. I am a huge sucker for a lot of growl in voices when singing so generally have a very fun time listening to it.
Right Place / Wrong Time
Yee fuckin’ haw. Legendary goddamn song. Maybe thee Joe Iconis of all time? It has all the major qualities: a story with a twist, vivid misfit characters, so fucking long, the struggle of being an artist, obsession with the past, repeating chorus, nonsense syllables. Yeah, this is thee Joe Iconis song of all time. I like that one of Katrina’s lines is “tell me my singing’s out of style” when she’s talked about how her style is actually what’s hot right now but it wasn’t when she started.
I miss the piano sirens, they’re a lot more subtle here. Not much to say about this one, just a very solid recording of what’s done live and I appreciate it.
52
Sometimes I think to myself “why is Joe so hung up on Broadway” and wanting his shows to play there. I had a conversation with a friend around when LIHN was happening at Two River where I was saying it’d sure be something if Revolution Song one day played at the Tony Awards. They said they’d rather the institution actually be torn down and at the time I couldn’t quite articulate why I didn’t think Joe would ever want that. Well, this song is why. For better or worse, he much too much respects the legacy and meaning of Broadway. He considers himself a pretty traditional guy, not trying to break new ground, be witty/impressive/insincere etc. He too desperate to make it within the place he loves to ever do anything else.
I don’t know why there’s a single soft clap/snap along the middle of the track. It seems like it’d much more belong in an a capella version of this song. It’s pretty clearly intentionally added because it cuts out eventually but it seems a bit too soft and the rest of the song is overproduced so that it doesn’t add much to the song and it just feels a bit like a distraction. Not that the song was overproduced, I just think it was past the level of being able to add a clap track along it. I actually like the level of production and new instrumentation.
Admittedly, I’m not much one for history. That’s one of the topics Joe talks about a lot that least resonates with me. I love that as time goes on, fewer and fewer people will know what this song is talking about without looking it up. I know I had to. I’m the people who don’t understand how much they meant, but this song gives me a small window into the mindset of people who care. It makes me care more than I did before.
A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into
A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one. I liked the live versions of this cover a lot in the past when I heard them but I wasn’t expecting it to make it onto Album. It’s weird to hear this song without the backing vocals and dialogue. It’s sweet that the last line is changed so it’s a pure-ish love song and it also subverts expectations like this song originally did. Guess we’re in covers/cabaret versions of songs from full shows section of the album.
Joey Is a Punk Rocker
Another one that wasn’t one of my regular listens and that I only enjoy as a character song. For both this and the last track, I really do like that the people singing are so different from the character that usually sings it in the show. In general, I really enjoy Annie’s voice and how full of character it is. The one section of the song I do have to admit I enjoy is the line “that his nipples were pierced but his heart was too.” Banger fucking line. Also the hilarity of Joe writing the line “I’m in love with a punk rocker named Joe” has not worn off for me.
Social Worker
Now this is a bonkers version of Social Worker. Immediately the synth is like whoa, what the fuck. I love the increasing echo effect on Nick’s voice during the panic attack section of the song. I enjoy it just as a listen but I’m really curious as to why they decided to go down a synth route for this song. Seems weird and I don’t know if I tonally agree with that choice, but I also don’t really disagree? Just want to know why they did it. Also, low-key I think Nick could’ve done better on this track. Like it was very good but I think the instrumental was definitely carrying.
I Was a Teenage Delinquent!
MAYBE THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER GRACED MY EARS??? I think within the first goddamn second I had my tiny little fucking mind blown. This song and the fullness of the orchestrations makes me want to scale several stories of brick wall so I can scream from rooftops “I FELL IN LOVE IN JUVIE HALL!!!!!!!!!” I truly mean it when I say I love how bad, overdramatic, and trashy this song is. She’s writing on bathroom walls in lipstick! She’s romanticizing her suicide scars! She’s falling in love in anger therapy! I love the incongruity of the line “I am a teenage ne'er-do-well” like a teenager would ever, ever say that. Well, maybe they did in the 60s. I love the brief saxophone bit while they almost kiss. I also love that they cut like the 30 seconds of dead time. This song is such a violent, cheesy, goddamn banger. As always I’m in love with the uniqueness of Lauren’s voice and performance. I can’t believe that LIHN came from this. It would be interesting and fun to hear Amina and Kelly do this as a one off but I’m glad it was Lauren and Molly, I want Amina and Kelly’s rendition of I Fell In Love In Juvie Hall to remain a sacred, earnest, triumphant gay love jam.
(Do) the Slide Whistle!
What the hell is this. Why did they go all out on this song. I don’t know the story behind this song. I don’t think it would help even if I did. It’s catchy, I’ll give them that. Who the hell are Suzie and Jenny and [Turp?], what is this song? All around confusion.
Muthers R Speshel (Wen Yer Sad)
I guess they lined up Slide Whistle and this one next to each other so I could double slam on the skip button. The nicest thing I can say about this song is that at rare points it’s charming and heartwarming. Another case of “well... some people are here at least partially because of their name.” It is not like LMM has been out here at concerts doing Joe’s songs.
My Best Friend's a Skeleton
Jeremy is delightful as the skeleton as always. I wonder if the skeleton jumpsuit he wore in the 2013 video is the same one in the 2022 shows. I think I enjoy Lance’s version more but they’re really incomparable since that one was live and George’s was a studio recording. Lance is just. Such a silly guy lol. Don’t know which I like more, the “I cannot wait for you to pass” in the live version of George or the “that’s gross why would you say that” but really just all the awards for Jeremy. For the Album version, it’s another one that got that sorta banjo/country twang in the orchestrations which I’m enjoying on this version of the song, but honestly overall it’s a skip. It’s the sort of song that lives on the banter they have between verses so it’s best in a live recording. Makes me wish they swapped this song out for something like Blue Hair.
Velociraptor
A real win for my media comprehension skills that this song is next to Him Today, Gone Tomorrow. I was like “yessss” when I saw it when the tracklist came out. It makes the skull line very weird but with an extra layer of meaning I guess.
I love the sort of what I can only describe as elevator-style music. It gives the song a very modern, cosmopolitan feel. I can easily imagine this as an anonymous woman lost in the size of NYC. I love how bold the guitar noise is after the “there’s a dinosaur” noise. It kind of sounds like it’s supposed to be a dinosaur roar. I love the line “where the species intertwine” because suddenly that line feels like it implies everyone on the street is a different species instead of nondistinct/normal/human like I was imagining them before. Everyone sees themselves as an animal in a city of humans but really they’re all their own kind of weird and Velociraptor is just looking for people who are weird in the same way as her. I don’t usually think about this but this song really is similar to Right Place/Wrong Time.
Also I have absolutely no memory of where I heard about this but once Liz said that she was complaining to Joe about feeling tired of singing generic songs about people feeling out of place and then he wrote this for her haha. Liz consistently kills it in an under-appreciated way, very much hoping she’s in the official White Girl In Danger cast next year so we can see/hear her in something.
Him Today, Gone Tomorrow
Not as much of a banger as it is in the live performances. Unfortunately nothing about this performance of this song is that good. A combo of audio mixing, instrumentation, and vocals all make this song not live up to its potential. There’s a real variance and buildup of energy in the live version but in this one it’s all mostly samey. I don’t like the addition of background vocals, it’s not loud enough to actively contribute to making the song better and in fact it feels like it helped make this a more lulled song this version. I do prefer the emotion and acting in the vocal performance for this version though.
I love the “she” transitioning from sounding like a tentative question to a celebration with many exclamation points after it. I want to see Manifest Pussy in full. I always wonder if there’s more context for this song that I’m missing.
Starting to Forget
Not one of my regular listens before Album. I actually used to think that this song was about a woman walking the line between still missing and starting to forget their abusive ex and healing, and I thought that for longer than I care to admit. I think it was only when I went to transcribe the lyrics to this song a few months ago that I finally really started paying attention to exactly what was being said and I realized how incredibly sad it was. Then even more recently I found out it’s about Joe and his grandfather. But you know what I still somewhat stand by my reading of this being about one person’s complicated journey moving on from their ex-lover. It could work.
I love Badia’s voice on this so much. It’s also interesting because on the Album podcast, they said they recorded all the band stuff first, but this track sounds very singer lead with the liberties taken with tempo. It sounds like a song that requires the accompaniment to come after or be live with the singing, but apparently that’s not what happened so props to them for making it sound like that’s what happened.
Also shout out to this song for apparently being able to always bring a tear to Michael R Jackson's eye.
Tightrope Walker / Mountain Climber / Me
So Joe has this old song called Tightrope Walker but I’ve never heard it. I have to imagine this song is a reworking/expansion of that other song and it makes me really curious to hear what the old version was. Regardless, new Joe Iconis song!!! [Has a life crisis].
This song is so interesting and I’m still trying to figure it out. The latter half captures the feeling of being an observer in your own life, the detachment and distraction of living in our social media age, and the ease at which we can compare ourself to others now. However, I don’t understand why the tightrope walker and mountain climber bits exist. To draw comparison to the “me” bit, but is it saying that they’re more similar or different than one would expect? Or neither? Is it saying that the career of an artist is in some ways comparable and as dangerous as tightrope walking/mountain climbing? The biggest hint is the some people are fueled by terror/praise meanwhile I live vicariously through others line. Do they exist only to lay down examples of other’s accomplishments that the starving artist feels they’ll never have their own version of? The song is a lot about what motivates people and I guess the artist’s lack thereof? Or maybe they do have motivation but it’s slowly been eroded over time by not reaching their goals while everyone else seems to be. Still, I don’t understand why. And then it also gets meta with the “I hate my vocals on this song” so then it’s implying that the starving artist wrote and is performing this song. I don’t know what any of this means! Would love to hear what other people think of this song. Can’t wait for the podcast episode of this song.
Since Joe almost never shares his lyrics verbatim I think I’ll be wondering forever if the “and days and days etc” part eventually ends on “and daze” because I love a good homonym. Would be cool if it did.
I love Molly H and her voice so much. I also really want to hear Lauren do this song. I think her voice lends to the style a lot. I love how casual this song sounds, very fittingly for the message of the song. In the Sunday live performance of this song it went heavy on some sort of synth-y rock guitar and there were also backing vocals. It was weird.
Flesh and Bone (The Robot's Song)
I'm sorry. What the fuck? It's like they decided to suck literally all of the energy out of this song during the recording. And I know Jason can go hard on this song, I've seen it before. So what the fuck. It started out a bit more low energy than I was expecting but I was expecting it to pick up but then it never did and we got to the nanas at the end and I was so disappointed. I just checked and it’s literally 10 bpm slower than live versions. I’m back again wondering if Jason got sick or something because this was not it. His voice sounded a bit off, like it was more tired/weaker. I’m just am in shock at how bad they ruined this song. Like how did this happen. This is one of Charlie’s favorite songs so like, how did he listen to this and think “yeah that’s good.”
The string pizzicato was nice but I’m still not sure how I feel about it in this song specifically. I miss the versions where the guitar in the background plucks an alarm going off/warning signal of low battery. The wind and rust sound effects were also lame as hell in this version, and by lame I mean almost nonexistent. I very much prefer versions where they do something outsized and wacky. Overall, I don’t know why you would choose to listen to the worse version of this song out there.
Party Hat
The new interjections are so fun and I love it. I think my favorite is “you are quite something” and “that’s what my therapist says!” It reminds me of Lauren’s Our Show. Also love the funky lil banjo and melodica. Thank god they kept the kazoo. This song is almost good enough for me to forgive EWM for making smacking lips noises right in my ear. Honestly I don’t have all that much to say about this song. Good song, good recording. Okay, I’ve been trying to find a way to word this without sounding weird but there is no good way. I want EWM to be my cat. No elaboration. You either get me or you don’t.
Amphibian
About to say something sacrilegious. I only like Amphibian an okay amount and it definitely is one of those songs whose charm lies in live performance, though this track translated pretty well from live to studio. I think they’re also aware of this so starting it off way more cutesy helped. Also that the ensemble choir was made up of so many people was great. On some tracks you can tell the ensemble had less people and as a result felt much less full. It’s very cute that Lance joined in for a duet. Double Natos! Shamefully, I thought it was Joe the first few listens until Al told me otherwise. I like the crowd/general chatter noise at the end with very low ribbits that then transitions straight into It’s All Good.
The Amphibian on Sunday when Will was out with COVID was by far my favorite performance of this song, ever. Amara was so good at the beginning that I want an entire version of her and John’s energy was so innocent and quickly turned rockin’ that I am obsessed. 
It's All Good
I feel like the audio mixing could’ve been better on the ambient crowd/chatter noise to not have it cut out as abruptly? It felt a bit jarring. Regardless, I like it. It creates a feeling of a live performance where people just get up and go to the mic that fits well with the content of the song. Not one of my favorite songs of Joe’s, but it’s so nice to have the boys from the 08 cast all singing together on this and their voices mesh very nicely together. It also sounds like they recorded together to match up the vocals or at least they did a much better job of it here than some other tracks.
Find the Bastard
I have to fucking talk about this shit. After the Saturday concert, the performers were talking to audience members outside and I had a short conversation with EWM where I told him how much I loved BSOL. He ribbed me a bit about being 12 when the original production happened, which is totally fair, and I thought that would be the end of that interaction. But he remembered because the next night during this song, right after the first “what’s your name, what’s your name,” (I guess I shouted loud enough that he noticed me) he made eye contact and pointed to me in the audience briefly as he sang. I am still replaying this moment in my mind. And also physically replaying it on the vid I took lol. Literally the amount of joy that those brief seconds have brought me is immeasurable. Months later just listening to this song is still a free happiness machine.
Last on Land Whomst? This is my new favorite, no I'm not biased at all (ok but can you blame me after what happened). I guess I should talk about the actual song now.
Ok, on the Album version right at the beginning of the instrumental after the very first measure (0:03-0:04), the guitarist accidentally plucks another string when changing fingerings and it bother me to no end. Can you tell I’ve been listening to this song on eardrum shattering volumes? Other than that, almost 0 complaints. The snake rattle effect sends chills through me. I like that there’s clearly a lot of people in the mix for the ensemble part but you can hear Jason ST and Katrina distinctively in the mix. I love the new brass. It fits so well. Loud and brash just like the show. Speaking of the brass, I’m in love with the drawn out instrumental crescendo right before “they done me wrong.”
AND FROM NOW ON, WHEN THEY ASK MY NAME (WHAT’S YOUR NAME, WHAT’S YOUR NAME) MY ANSWER ALWAYS GONNA BE THE SAME (WHAT’S YOUR NAME, WHAT’S YOUR NAME) I’LL SAY MY NAME IS AWFUL LONG AS IT’S THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do not know how a single person in the world could possibly listen to this song and not feel the hype in their fucking soul and The Musician’s mission as their own. For three minutes and twenty-nine seconds, I’m a guitar wielding musician recently freed from prison on a mission to get my woman back from a dastardly kazoo playing villain. And it better be yours too.
I don’t know why on these TBS and BSOL tracks, there’s noise/people talking at the beginning/end. I assume for like atmosphere/continuity to signify that they’re from the same show/should be listened to together?
Last on Land
Don't look at me, I'm listening to Last on Land. As always, thinking about that one review that called this song the out of nowhere number about sailing. Watch your fucking back, I’m about to turn you into an out of nowhere number about sailing. Though I’ll be honest, parts of this song are still lost on me but I enjoy that. I’m always thinking about what certain lines could mean when I’m listening to this song. Some parts mean a different thing to me every time I listen to it. I guess I can understand how someone who wasn’t paying attention and hearing this song for the first time could think it was just a song about boats. I mean, admittedly that’s what I thought the first time I heard this song. But then you listen again and you notice the raw fucking lines like “we find the solution to escape our fate, it lies in the equal distribution of our weight” and I dare you to not feel even an ounce about community and what we owe and willingly give to one another when this song plays.
Since it’s in a different key on Album as it is in the show, the octave jump on the piano backing is even higher and everything feels even more perilous. Like oh my god, things are beginning to sink!!
Sorry I am continuously ragging on it, but it’s noticeably not as good in an album of mostly good to stellar performances. I don’t think Jason ST’s performance on this track is the greatest but the tiredness sort of fits the opening of the song so it’s not as egregious on this track. I don’t know there’s any standout performances on this track actually, it starts getting very good later into the song.
I love the angelic choir sort of quality the “ohs” in the vocal only part, and it carries that quality even when everything else comes back in. It feels like prayer and community to someone non-religious like me. The only thing on this earth for us is each other. The new harmonies are so fucking good it makes me lose my entire goddamn mind every time I listen two minutes of this song. Especially the new high part on “if you weren’t here with me.” You know the one. The echoing on the chorus. Thank you Joel for these god tier vocal arrangements. It’s what this song fucking deserves. It really feels like it’s taking full advantage of the size of its goddamn cast list. I wouldn’t be surprised if almost all the people in that image of people on the album were in this chorus.
Can you believe that Joe originally wasn’t going to do any songs from full shows of his? Thank god Jen convinced him otherwise. Lord, what would I do without [this version of this song].
Try Again
I connected like a year ago that the "lifeboat manned by me" line was in reference to Bloodsong but it took me up until a few weeks ago to realize the "fuck those bastards, find a friend" is also probably one. With how connected this song is to other works of Joe now I'm realizing the suicide attempt off the roof is not at all random and definitely calling back to Broadway, Here I Come! lol. It takes me a minute...
Ending with Try Again instead of Last on Land is fun and interesting. The placement of this song makes me think Joe still feels like he hasn’t made it in the way he wants to in this industry, which, fair. It’s just funny how a song he wrote with a large inspiration about BMC after TRT is still the message he wants to go out on, that even with that very show making it to Broadway, he still feels he’s at the stage where he’s picking himself back up and trying again. And I guess YMMV on if he deserves to feel that way. With how much he talks about being a fan of traditional musical theater and having traditional mindsets of what being successful in musical theater looks like, he certainly hasn’t made that original show that’s been reviewed well by the NYT regionally and moved to Broadway and had a successful run in the way he thinks/thought shows should do. And both BBH and LIHN, right after BMC had a similar trajectory of not being the success he wanted, with LIHN being especially similar to how BMC started out.
Though honestly I don’t know what Joe Iconis would be like if he had his well-loved Broadway hit and I don’t know if it’s ever gonna happen for him. It seems like he just somehow grates on people in a way that in his eyes, he’ll be almost making it forever. Like if you just shift your viewpoint a bit, this track would’ve also fit very well after Right Place/Wrong Time as the 26th track, at exactly halfway through Album. With this song as the midpoint, it would’ve sent a message of how despite the NYT review, he tried again and BMC was eventually able to get to Broadway because of the love people had for it, and he saw that result of trying again and is past that part of his life.
Am I reading into all this too much? Probably. Maybe he placed it here as an upbeat message about trying again to loop back to the beginning of the album. But reading and listening to what he says in interviews I’m inclined to think he still feels like he’s in the trying again stage of his life.
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thechangelingmushroom · 1 month ago
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FUCK why do I have to LIKE THINGS I’m so scared I’m gonna be made fun of or that thing I like is gonna turn out to be actually made by or is a shitty person and I don’t want it to be ANOTHER content creator I look up to!!!!!!! Everybody be nice to each other forever or I’ll get you
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thebhorror · 6 months ago
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I need the next homestuck update NOW
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obsessivetherian · 1 year ago
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I love zombies.
my brain does not.
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knifearo · 1 year ago
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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bixels · 5 months ago
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I just saw one of your fave games is What remains of Edith Finch and I’m so happy! I feel like its a lesser known game but i loved playing through it. I’m so happy to know more than just my small friend group know about this game!
Sorry this isn’t a question. Also want to say that you’re art is amazing and the development of the designs is so interesting to see. Also the way you draw intimate scenes have so much emotion to them. I love the Aj and rarity kissing comic so much, you can just feel their love for each other ;w;
Thank you so much!
I highly, highly, highly recommend What Remains of Edith Finch to anyone interested in narrative game experiences/"walking simulators." It's one of those games that was handcrafted with nothing but love. Every room you explore is just... real. The way the light flows in and makes the colors of the living room, the kitchen, the bedrooms glow. Playing the game is like walking through your childhood home as an adult and seeing how the dust clings to everything you once touched. Also genius-level gameplay mechanics, ones that can make you completely empathetic with the character you're embodying or feel completely complacent in their tragedy. It's really not fair to call it a walking simulator because it's so much more and so much smarter than that.Everyone talks about the fish one.
The theme of death and memory and storytelling and the burden of invisible trauma and self-fulfilling prophecies is so affecting too. The ending made me cry.
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canisalbus · 9 months ago
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I have a phobia of dogs like can't stand seeing images of them phobia but I love your work so much, I don't know what it is but there's something beautiful about how I can look at it without feeling that phobia. Like being on top of a mountain and seeing the view of the world below or how fire looks pretty close up. Your art to me feels like that scene in fantastic mr fox with the wolf.
Ah, that's both heartwarming and very interesting, I've never heard of any cynophobes liking my work! Thank you!
(I won't bother you about it of course, but I can't help but wonder if it's the same thing for all furry/anthro art you see or for some reason just me, and if it's the latter, what could be making my stuff more palatable for someone who is that intensely uncomfortable with canines. My style isn't realistic but it isn't super stylized and exaggerated either. Is it about the anthropomorphization and the humanlike features, expressions and behavior? When I draw actual dog-shaped-dogs, are they harder to look at?).
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amoontoyou · 6 months ago
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june is coming up so i'd just like to put it out there that if the words "hard launch" come out of dnp's mouth's i'm gonna personally gonna kick them out of the lgbtqia+ community
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goodgrammaritan · 2 months ago
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"Some people aren't that special. I used to think I was, but I learned. When nobody believes in you, it's too hard to believe in yourself. When I was ill, I drifted too far away from my friends, got too small in their eyes, but that means I was never big to begin with. I'm replaceable. I'm forgettable. I'm not someone who can change the universe."
Rae, Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan
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120percents · 1 year ago
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i just think it’s so funny that zoro does not even wanna comment on the usokaya situation when usopp explicitly asks and he very pointedly looks away when they kiss and yet he proceeds to butt in every single time sanji flirts with a woman or implies he knows about romance to redirect attention back on himself like god i wonder where your interests lie…
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chiquilines · 3 months ago
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Damn so everyone was as starved for miryumi content as i was? Have another treat
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here-comes-the-moose · 5 months ago
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I thought of this while driving- which member of the Bad Batch absolutely CANNOT parallel park?
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dykedvonte · 14 days ago
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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johnslittlespoon · 1 month ago
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Hello, I need to know how long do you plan TaS to be? Or maybe how many chapters will it be? Because I need to get mentally prepared for the end from now on otherwise I think I'll have a panic attack when one day you say we're at the end of the fic. 😬 Of course if you don't know or the plan is changing it's alright, just want to ask. 😇
PLS this made me gigggleeee but we're gonna have to buckle up bc as of now it's looking like it's gonna be btwn 20–30 chapters LOL. i have no good guesses for word count since the chapter lengths seem to fluctuate between 8–25k atp but we're in for the long haul according to my outline doc (which is at 36k words in itself lmfaooo)
the plan def changes every so often but mostly just little things because i have the whole fic planned out from start to finish! so i can't give an exact chapter count since often i end up having to split chapter plans into two, but that's my best guesstimate atm, and i'll ofc post about it when we start getting closer to the end.
if it helps, i'm planning for the length of this fic to span from july 2005 to sometime in the summer of 2006 (excluding the epilogue), so when the dates at the start of chapters start creeping into june... you'll know we're nearing the end </33 i'm so Afraid LOL
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koppaiterocker · 11 months ago
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This account does NOT forgive King Peppy
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