#every day i a sex worker and rape survivor

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

neil gaiman was revealed to be a serial rapist and you guys are on here patting each other on the back for enjoying good omens and saying "well there's not definitive proof yet" i hate you all so much

[hirkyy]

I don't want anyone to look away because that is a privilege Ukrainians don't get. This is just a tiny fraction of the immeasurable amount of atrocities that have been going on for more than a year. And even more will never be confirmed or documented but forever haunting victims and their families and loved ones.

Excerpts from the official reports by the United Nations Independent Commission refering to findings about events in Ukraine since 24 February 2022.

The mother of a man executed in Kyiv Province stated: "I still wake up at night, stand in the dark and scream, call for my son and cry out of pain"."

"The attacks occurred when civilians were trying to evacuate or while carrying out routine activities. In all the cases, the victims were wearing civilian clothes, were not armed, and were driving civilian cars, some with signs “children” on the windows. [...] The Commission interviewed survivors of attacks, as well as witnesses and relatives of those who were killed, and reviewed footage showing yet more damaged cars on this highway. [...] Some of them seemed deliberate, for example when soldiers opened fire on civilian cars that posed no risk because they had stopped or were driving away from them."

"Rapes were committed at gunpoint, with extreme brutality and with acts of torture, such as beatings and strangling. Perpetrators at times threatened to kill the victim or her family, if she resisted. In some cases, more than one soldier raped the same victim, or rape of the same victim was committed several times. In one incident, the victim was pregnant and begged, in vain, the soldiers to spare her; she had a miscarriage a few days later. Perpetrators also, in some instances, executed or tortured husbands and other male relatives. Family members, including children, were sometimes forced to watch perpetrators rape their loved ones."

"In Kyiv Province, in March 2022, two Russian soldiers entered a home, raped a 22-year-old woman several times, committed acts of sexual violence on her husband and forced the couple to have sexual intercourse in their presence. Then one of the soldiers forced their 4-year-old daughter to perform oral sex on him [...] In another village, Russian armed forces took a woman out of her house and forced her to go to a neighbouring house, where one of the soldiers of the Russian armed forces had shot dead a man who had tried to defend his wife. Two soldiers took both women to another house that served as their base. The soldiers proceeded to different rooms to rape and sexually assault the two women."

"The Commission confirmed cases of sexual violence in which Russian armed forces raped girls when entering or occupying civilian homes. Further, a 4-year-old girl could hear her mother screaming while she was raped in the adjacent room."

The extensive use of explosive weapons has caused immediate and long-lasting trauma and damage and has severely disrupted people's lives, forcing them to flee or live in fear. One older woman, who fled as hostilities raged in the Kharkiv area, told the Commission: "I don't live, I just exist; I have nothing left in my soul".

"Those who stayed were exposed to explosions and air raid sirens, and many witnessed traumatic events, including the killing or maiming of parents and loved ones. Parents, family members and aid workers described how all these factors had had a deep psychological effect on children. Some are afraid of loud noises, of being alone and of men, particularly men in uniform. [...] After an attack with explosive weapons in a residential area of Kharkiv a mother described how the attack had impacted her daughter, saying "she is very traumatized and will only sleep in the corridor; she also goes to the corridor every time she hears sirens during the daytime and starts to shake"."

"The Commission has documented patterns of wilful killings, unlawful confinement, torture, rape, and unlawful transfers of detainees in the areas that came under the control of Russian authorities in Ukraine. Violations were also committed against persons deported from Ukraine to the Russian Federation."

"Furthermore, when Russian authorities controlled areas during longer periods of time, they established dedicated detention facilities, used more diverse methods of torture, and in addition, targeted persons who refused to cooperate."

"[...] after initial detention in Ukraine, individuals were forcibly transferred and unlawfully deported through Belarus, or directly, to the Russian Federation [...] In the Russian Federation, victims were further held in detention facilities. [...] Many people are still missing from the areas that were under the occupation of Russian armed forces. [...] While relatives have received confirmation that some of them are in detention in the Russian Federation, the fate of many is still unknown."

"In the Russian Federation, confinement at times started with an abusive “acceptance procedure”. Victims reported electric shocks with a taser, beatings with a baton, suffocation with plastic bags, and forced nudity in front of others. A former detainee underwent beatings as a “punishment for speaking Ukrainian” and for “not remembering the lyrics of the anthem of the Russian Federation”. One woman said that she passed out a few times from beatings, but perpetrators woke her up to continue."

"The soldiers degraded and violated the dignity of the detainees. There was very limited access to food and water, and close to no access to medical care [...] In the yard, the soldiers randomly shot near the victims to scare them. Ten older persons died during the confinement as a result of the inhumane conditions [...] The Commission visited the basement and saw the writings of the confined victims on the wall listing the names of those who had died."

"Ukrainian and Russian officials have declared that hundreds of thousands of children have been transferred from Ukraine to the Russian Federation since 24 February 2022 [...] Parents or children told the Commission that during the children’s stay in the Russian Federation or in Russian-controlled areas in Ukraine, on some occasions, social services told the children that they would be placed in institutions, accommodated in foster families, or be adopted. Parents also told the Commission that in some places of transfer children wore dirty clothes, were screamed at, and called names. Meals were poor and some children with disabilities did not receive adequate care and medication. Children expressed a profound fear of being permanently separated from parents, guardians, or relatives."

Sources: 1 / 2.

[horizon-verizon]

Why do you think they made Aemond a victim of sexual assault as a young 13 years old boy and by an older woman no less? I'm talking about the brothel scene in 1x09 in which he recalls Aegon taking him there when he was 13. Is this some sick way for the writers to establish his future interest in Alys who is also much older than him? Maybe this is another reason why certain parts of the fandom find it hard to believe that he would ever be capable to take a woman as his war prize and it is because he was a victim himself, although being a victim and a perpetrator are not mutually exclusive things.

HotD Episode 9 Scene referred to:

Aemond: Aegon brought me to the Street of Silk on my 13th name day. It was his duty as my brother, he said, to ensure I was as educated as he was. At least that's what I understood him to mean.

Criston: I don't follow.

Aemond: He said, "Time to get it wet."

Criston: Every woman is an image of the Mother, to be spoken of with reverence. (to the Woman) Sometime last night, we misplaced our drinking companion. Knowing that he has been, in the past, a patron of your fine establishment, we thought to inquire here as to his whereabouts. And describe him. That is a delicate matter. You see, the man we seek is the young Prince Aegon. I may trust, I hope, in the discretion of your trade.

Woman: The Prince is not here. Has he been here? Earlier, perhaps? Quite a bit earlier. Years ago, in fact.

Criston: But more recently?

Woman: He does not frequent the Street of Silk. His tastes are known to be... less discriminating.

Criston: Meaning what?

Woman: I wish you luck, good Ser. And my best to your friend. (to Aemond) How you've grown.

Aemond: Hmm.

I would put the major fault of Aemond getting close to a sex worker on his brother Aegon than the sex worker.

As for the specific woman in the scene you're talking about, I think because of this very fact of Aegon's male privilege and status as prince, that that woman was supposed to tease or mock Aemond, seeing how Show!Aemond was so....reluctant to acknowledge her? Is that the right word for this?

But to actually answer the question, yes this is absolutely a way for the writers to set up his relationship with Alys Rivers...

Even though it is very clear that even though Alys is around a little like 20 years older than Aemond in the book, she would have been violently raped or murdered (and a person in her position would have felt this was a strong possibility) if she had seriously resisted Aemond -- the boy-man with fighting skills trained into him since he was at least 10, a foul temper (book version), too up in his own privilege, and a whole ass army behind him. Alys was his war prize, his "reward" and "claim" of power.

For the writers to then show this encounter to emphasize Aemond's vulnerability and show none of, or reduce his evil (in several other ways that I wrote about) is to rewrite and victimize him into an accountable-lessness state. They should not be mutually exclusive, but the show, by god, will make it seem that way.

You will hear green stans telling everyone that we should feel sorry for Aemond getting preyed on by his own war prize, uwu, and how this is still somehow such a morally positive romantic relationship at the same time.

So "we" (they) hated Daemon for supposedly grooming Rhaenyra, but not Aemond for raping a woman because we think that her being older than him changes everything. That his being a prince, a warrior, having a dragon, having killed every single male Strong (adults and children) himself publicly in front of all the survivors, and an army does not matter at all.

This is similar to what happened to the Criston-Rhaenyra thing where people totally discounted how Rhaenyra, being a woman, has less advantages even as heir, Viserys actually being Criston's authority, AND Criston actually had more room to say no than a woman in his position. Because no woman of any class or religion ever was and is not a Kingsguard (since women can't even be knights).

By the way, love that Criston says that all women should be respected and are "images of the Mother" and talks to the woman in the scene as if he does respect her (except the "fine establishment" part) yet in episode 6, he calls Rhaenyra a "cunt" in front of Alicent, freely.

So there is a loose condition on his "respect" for women. some women are more "sacred" than others. Rhaenyra chose to have extramarital sex and had children out of it, who are all great people, yet he thinks she is a "cunt" and a slut. This woman that he speaks to in episode 9 is clearly a sex worker, and while there's nothing morally wrong with being a sex worker, this is not the modern era where we're loosening judgment and this is not a man who has any sort of compassion for people who his society marginalizes or vilifies.

Hypocrites stay hypocrites.

[monkeyspawnskydiamond]

Prostitution: A Word That UN Women Does Not Want to Hear

by Barbara Crossette

https://www.passblue.com/2015/03/31/prostitution-a-word-that-un-women-does-not-want-to-hear/

On the eve of a speech Ruchira Gupta was to give on International Women’s Day in New York as the recipient of a Woman of Distinction award, she got a strange email. Gupta, who has collected numerous awards for her work against sex slavery in India — including an Emmy for her 1996 documentary, “The Selling of Innocents” — was asked in the message not to speak on prostitution “or put UN Women on the spot.”

The email came from the organization that had chosen Gupta for its highest award, the NGO Committee on the Status of Women, NY (NGO CSW/NY), which supports the work of UN Women and the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women, whose annual session was about to begin on March 9. The NGO Committee had itself used the word prostitution in its announcement of the award in January.

“I was surprised that the UN was trying to censor an NGO, and that they should tell me not to speak on prostitution, when my work was with victims of prostitution,” Gupta said in an email interview to PassBlue. She is the founder of Apne Aap (meaning “self empowerment” in Hindi), a multifaceted support group for women trafficked into sex slavery in Mumbai and other South Asian cities. Apne Aap now has international reach.

In her speech at New York’s iconic Apollo Theater, where UN Women’s executive director, Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka of South Africa, was also on the program, Gupta ignored the request and chose to speak forcefully “to represent the voices of victims and survivors of prostitution” in her own organization and others around the world. In late 2013, UN Women, in a note on the issue of terminology, had said it would use the terms “sex work” and “sex workers” and “recognize the right of all sex workers to choose their work or leave it and to have access to other employment opportunities.”

UN Women’s decision and recommendation not to “conflate sex work, sexual exploitation and trafficking” sounds outrageous if not ludicrous to people like Gupta, who work in the squalid brothel quarters of Mumbai, Delhi, Kolkata and other cities, to which young girls from around South Asia are lured by traffickers — or sold by poor families — into a life of miserable bondage, with no chance to make choices. In her speech on International Women’s Day on March 8, Gupta said the youngest girl trafficked into bonded labor she has met was just 7 years old.

“The pimps would hand over these little girls to the brothel keepers . . . and these girls were locked up for the next five years,” she said. “Raped repeatedly by eight or ten customers every night.” By their 20s, Gupta said, their youth is gone and bodies are broken, and they are “thrown out on the sidewalk to die a very difficult death because they were no longer commercially viable.”

In January 2014, 61 South Asian victims and survivors of prostitution as well as women’s groups representing communities marginalized by caste, class and ethnicity and antitrafficking organizations helping girls and women “trapped in bonded labour and other forms of servitude” wrote to Mlambo-Ngcuka to protest the new UN Women policy of avoiding the word prostitution.

“We do not want to be called ‘sex workers’ but prostituted women and children, as we can never accept our exploitation as ‘work,’ ” the letter signers wrote. “We think that the attempts in UN documents to call us ‘sex workers’ legitimizes violence against women, especially women of discriminated caste, poor men and women and women and men from minority groups, who are the majority of the prostituted.”

They are still awaiting an answer from UN Women, Gupta said.

Censoring comment about violence against girls and women is not new in the Commission on the Status of Women or in the UN more broadly. Nafis Sadik, the outspoken executive director of the United Nations Population Fund, or UNFPA, from 1987 to 2000, said in an interview in 2013 that there had been numerous attempts to silence her, often from pressure by governments.

Sadik was told at a session of the commission several years ago, for example, not to relate a story from Zimbabwe to illustrate the hazards women face when trying to use contraception. “This man’s wife wasn’t getting pregnant, and apparently he discovered that she was taking pills,” she said. “And he killed her because she made him look embarrassed [in front of other men]. Furthermore, that defense was being accepted in the court: that you can’t humiliate the husband.”

Groups working with victims of sexual slavery in developing countries often see a widening gap between Western women — particularly “academic feminists,” in Gupta’s view — and the women working to help the most exploited girls at street level in some of the world’s most dangerous slums, where pimps and brothel owners may be not only slave masters but also killers. Gupta had a knife held to her neck on one occasion when she was filming her award-winning documentary. Women rushed to surround her, separating her from her would-be attacker, and saved her life.

The women working with victims and survivors of sex trafficking and bonded prostitution who signed the letter to UN Women fear that campaigns in richer nations, almost all of them in North America and northern Europe, will lead to more moves to decriminalize pimps and brothel keepers — making not only sex workers but all aspects of the sex industry legal.

This is not the only issue that has opened fissures between the richer, progressive nations or societies where women construct views of social change based on their own advanced social and legal environment or well-intentioned views of developing nations’ cultures. They do not always reflect what most poor women — the majority of women in the world — who lack power over their lives really need and want.

Twenty years ago, many Western feminists and officials in countries of the global North dealing with international aid programs criticized campaigners against female genital mutilation or child marriage in developing nations, excusing these harmful practices as “part of their culture.” There are still affluent women who have enjoyed the liberating benefits of contraception for decades who argue against promoting family planning in the developing world, believing that women want to have as many children as possible — sons in particular — because their social status or the family’s economy may depend on fertility.

Global Connection Television - The only talk show of its kind in the world Such condescending Western attitudes began to change, sometimes dramatically, after the transformative International Conference on Population and Development in Cairo in 1994 and the Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing in 1995, an event that Gupta says has inspired her work ever since. Women in distant lands are now being heard and taking the lead on issues close to home.

Gupta and her like-minded colleagues who signed the letter to UN Women were asking to be part of the discussion on prostitution — in a global context.

[stxleslyds]

What do you think about the theories that Jason was sexually abused as a child? Or even possibly while he was comatose after his resurrection?

Implications of this theory include his conversation with Mia (Speedy) and Bruce's message (Battle for the Cowl). In addition, when he was Robin he expressed what was then considered uncharacteristic rage towards the perpetrators of sex crimes.

Garzonas - unrepentant rapist who got no consequences

When a woman killed her sister's rapist and murderer (because Batman's evidence was not admissible in court), Batman said that she went too far with murder. Jason's disagreed with "Good riddance". Good for you, Jason.

His recklessness when dealing with a child sex trafficking ring.

I highly doubt that DC would ever confirm this theory. I would rather they leave it ambiguous because I don't trust them to not botch Jason... much less respectfully address the subject matter.

I have read so many thoughts on Jason that they're starting to blend together. So I apologize if you've already answered this before.

Hello friend! Aside from the fact that I took way too much time to answer your ask, this was also a hard question to come up with an answer to, I wanted to remain respectful of the subjects at hand even though I don’t second this headcanon. But before we keep going, let me put some trigger warnings in this post.

trigger warning: mentions of sexual abuse, child abuse, rape.

First, I would like to bring up these two concepts because I oftentimes mix them up when talking about these “ideas”.

Theory: a supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something; an idea used to account for a situation or justify a course of action.

Headcanon: Headcanon generally refers to ideas held by fans of series that are not explicitly supported by sanctioned text or other media. Fans maintain the ideas in their heads, outside of the accepted canon.

I think the idea of Jason having been sexually abused at any point in his lifetime is a mix between a theory and a headcanon. Why I am saying this? Because as you have put in the ask, there has been instances where fandom has found pieces of information that they have considered the base of this idea.

So, if we say that there is a piece of text that might support that idea and they build from that to justify a course of action we would be looking at a theory. In this case Jason having been abused would the reason as to why he acts in that strong and violent way towards cases of sexual abuse/harassment.

In the other hand those pieces of text might not support that idea so fandom headcanons that idea in order to build another layer to a character, in this case Jason having been abused would also justify his actions towards certain criminals.

The “text” (panels, issues, mentions) are most of the time ambiguous, which makes readers have different perspectives in what is being written and what then is made into a theory or headcanon.

Personally, I don’t like this theory or headcanon for various reasons (which I will explain later in the post), and I have read and understood those moments mentioned as Jason just having survived Crime Alley as something general, I don’t think he suffered that kind of abuse but I think he was made aware of that type of behaviour every day that he spent alone in the streets and that why we saw Jason in Batman #408 saying that he had “graduated a long time ago from the streets of crime alley”.

Having said that, I do understand that some of the moments mentioned can be seen as ambiguous and that’s what leads people to theorize/headcanon that idea, because of that I would like to show the panels mentioned in your ask so everyone can read them and make up their own conclusions and then I will talk about the reasons why I don’t like this particular theory/headcanon.

As Robin:

Batman (1940) #422

In these panels we can see Jason as Robin jumping in to defend a woman that was being attacked by a man. There I only see Jason acting like a vigilante would, maybe he was hitting too hard or whatever but Batman has hit people as much as Jason was doing it this time around, plus I, personally, don’t see any kind of problem with Jason beating a man that was harassing and threatening a woman with death.

Right beside we have Jason being on the side of the woman that killed her sister’s attacker. He didn’t see any problem with that woman seeking justice for her sister on her own when the police, Batman and himself couldn’t get the job done.

Here I see Jason having a big problem with authorities and justice system, which is not something new, in Batman #408, Jason says very clearly that he doesn’t trust the system in Gotham (the police, social workers and such), and he was also shown in that comic talking very fondly about his mother and about how much he cared for her when she was at her worst. Let’s remember that Jason loved his mother, he took care of her and resented his father for being abusive towards her and even introducing her to drugs.

Instead understanding these panels as Jason having been abused himself, I see it more as Jason having a humongous understanding of how much women and others suffer in Gotham due to the justice system’s lack of action. I also see Jason as the kind of boy that respected all women and could not sit and do nothing when people were hitting and abusing women just like his father did to his mother.

Batman (1940) #424

This issue starts by saying that Jason jumps into action as soon as he hears someone scream but that he wasn’t going to be prepared to see what was happening. This is the issue where all of us meet Felipe Garzonas, the abuser and rapist of many women. At first Jason doesn’t know what Felipe was doing but after he and Batman “defeat” Felipe, he goes to the room where he finds Gloria in a bed badly hurt and scared. Jason is shocked when he first finds her and after hearing her story in the police station, he becomes more and more happy about the fact that by having caught Felipe, he and Batman would be able to offer some peace and justice to Gloria after he goes to jail, but that doesn’t happen.

They had all the evidence to put Felipe in jail and the police could easily see that Gloria was the victim but because Felipe had someone to back his made-up story up, he was able to not be arrested and jailed.

Jason once again is baffled at the lack of action by the police or simply justice not being able to be made in favour of the true victim. Batman even says that he has noticed that Jason “had become to emotionally invested with the case” which could favour either idea (Jason having suffered sexual abuse or not), in my case I see this once again as Jason not being able to remain calm after doing everything to keep that woman safe and the justice system not being able to do it themselves in a more permanent way (jail time, or whatever).

But that’s not all because Jason being too emotional with that case was brought up as a way to show that Jason couldn’t see that Felipe had been under the influence of drugs, which is something that Jason can see in people very well (do to experience with his mother and his training with Batman). So, Felipe is now a rapist, an abuser, he does drugs and he also has a market for it.

Because Felipe was allowed to go back to his “normal” life he had Gloria be killed, and he kept abusing drugs and women, when Jason finds Gloria’s dead body and that Batman still seems to abide the justice system he snaps. He goes alone to see Felipe and that’s were this iconic panel comes from. The moments before Jason made his first kill and felt no remorse about it. I know this is kinda soft topic because Jason was a teenager, but good for him, kill that bitch. Gotham doesn’t need more people like him.

Batman (1940) #226

This is the issue where Jason attacks the men that were involved with some very nasty stuff involving children. Batman narrates and says that him and Jason had been working on this case for three weeks. Jason jumps into action suddenly and “recklessly” even though Batman considered their investigation wasn’t over, he also says that he thinks that Jason had been “acting oddly” and that he was very “moody, resentful and reckless” and that that attitude could “get him killed”.

This could be used as to add more proof of the abuse idea but I actually see it as build up to Jason’s death, that happened two issues later. Let’s remember that Jason found out of his birth mother and was desperate to find and save her from Joker, because he was a good son but also because he didn’t feel like Bruce loved, cared or appreciated him anymore. Ever since Jason made it clear that he didn’t see the world and justice in the same way that Batman did back in issue #422, Jason and Bruce’s relationship suffered, they just couldn’t see eye to eye on some subjects and Bruce’s neglect or lack of care for what Jason believed in drove Jason to act the way he did in the case involving his mother and the Joker.

Jason obviously has major issues with kids being abused and put in dangerous situations, he as the Red Hood (Winick’s Red Hood) is the same, he really wants kids to be taken far away from drugs so they cannot be manipulated, used and abused by Gotham’s Drug Lords. Here I can see some of the same thing, Jason being protective of those kids and getting fed up with how much time he and Batman had to wait to do anything about the subject, along side it I bet Jason wasn’t seeing the police or the justice system doing anything about the whole thing so that could have probably fuelled his desperate attack of those horrible people.

As Batman/Red Hood:

Batman: Battle for the Cowl #3

Battle for the Cowl… yeah I am going to be brutally honest about this, if anyone thinks that this is someway or somehow proof that Jason had been abused in the past then I think we have very different ways of thinking how survivors must be treated or written in comics and other media.

This to me is pure bad writing, this is some of the worst things I have seen being written in comics. Whether or not this implies Jason being abused or not, Bruce’s message is absolutely disgusting and not at all helpful, it is even worse when you realise that Dick, a canon sexual assault survivor, is the one playing the message to Jason even though Jason explicitly said that he didn’t want to hear it again. That Book, issue, page and panel are extremely badly written and is one of the most terrible Jason and Dick characterizations ever.

So, I don’t really care if this panel is supposed to offer support to that theory or headcanon, I really dislike that speech and if it is actually referencing Jason as being a survivor of child abuse, then Tony S. Daniel needs to make an apology from today to the day he dies.

“Of all my failures, you have been my biggest” “You were broken and I thought I could put the pieces back together. I thought I could do for you what could never be done for me. Make you whole” “What happened to you as a child… the terror, the pain, the horrors” “You needed repair and instead I gave you an outlet to act out on”

Absolute garbage writing. Me, as Bruce is number one hater, know that that speech is even out of character for Bruce. Listen, if Jason had been a victim of sexual assault or just being a kid living alone in Crime Alley, no one should leave a message like that, telling a victim that they were broken and needed fixing, what the hell? No, thank you, this issue proves nothing except that Battle for the Cowl was a mistake as a whole.

Green Arrow (2001) #72

Judd Winick is clever I will always say that, and while I do see why people think that Jason is making the “child abuse idea” canon I still think that the way that he talks is still fairly ambiguous if not just him playing mind games with Mia.

I know it sounds wrong, but hear me out, Winick, in this arc makes Batman say that Jason distracted him and Oliver just to take Mia as a “hostage” because that was Jason’s way to mess with him. This arc happens right after UtRH and Jason is a bit more unhinged than ever. But he doesn’t harm Mia, he just talks to her, he tries to make her see why he acts the way he does and to do that he talks about how much he sees of himself in her. Do I believe that Jason suffered the same things Mia did? No. Do I think that their past is similar? Yes.

But Jason doesn’t only use the fact that they have similar pasts to make Mia rebel against her “no killing ways” and Oliver like he did with Bruce, but he also brings up the fact that their past is incredibly different to the lives of Bruce and Oliver, and that those differences are of importance.

Maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t see Jason bringing Mia’s past for anything other than manipulating her and kinda make her see Oliver in a negative light the way that he does Batman and Bruce. Jason was at a point in his life where all he wanted to do was deliver the same pain that he had gone through but he didn’t do it by physically harming anyone (Mia was left unscratched), he was just out there trying to play mind games so he could break more havoc in Batman’s name.

Mia’s past is just way too different to whatever we have seen in canon from Jason’s past. Maybe I am wrong, after all, I only read about Mia in that arc.

-

With all that having been said I think it’s pretty obvious that I just don’t think that Jason’ having been sexually abused as a child actually happened, and I also don’t like to think about his past in that way. His canon suffering could have made him act that violently against criminals involved with sexual attacks and drug-related crimes, but I also think that’s just how Jason was, he really disliked the justice system in Gotham and saw how much it failed to protect victims, so now that he had the training to help those who couldn’t do it for themselves, he tried his best to bring criminals to justice.

And when that didn’t work, he grew more and more frustrated with Batman’s methods which led him to be more unforgiving and violent.

I also don’t like the theory/headcanon as a whole because I think its one of those things that Fandom comes up with just for that extra angst factor in their favourite character’s story so they can make him suffer more and because of that no other Robin or character as a whole can ever understand his pain or whatever. In this fandom there is a lot of “competitive trauma” going on and I honestly dislike it a lot.

About Jason having been assaulted while he was in a coma, I don't really know, he was at a hospital for what I believe were six moths, maybe that idea comes from real life happenings but I have never thought of that happening in Jason's life and I would rather not give it much more thought.

Also, I believe that DC just like fandom would have never been able to handle the subject of Jason having been a sexual assault survivor with the respect and care that it actually needs. We have seen DC treat sexual harassment and abuse as nothing but a side plot or bringing it up in an extremely disturbing way. In Fandom some (very few) people end up glamorising or romanticising these subjects so, I don’t believe the comic world was or is ready to treat a backstory like this with the respect it needs.

Maybe I haven’t even treated the subject with the respect and care that it needs and if that’s the case then I am truly sorry.

I had never answered a question regarding this subject before and I really appreciate all the questions you send my way; they do make my brain happy. I am really sorry it took me this long to write an answer to you but I hope the post is good enough for all the time I made you wait!

I hope you have an amazing week!

[rapeculturerealities]

It is telling that police are thought to be our protectors from rapists and predators when they themselves are too often the rapists and predators.

Police have sexually assaulted me at pilgrimage (when I was 15 years old), at work while I was reporting on a trial in a courthouse (when I was in my 30s), and at protest near Tahrir Square (when I was 44 years old).

Boston Police hid from the public their own evidence in 1995 that one of their officers had sexually assaulted a 12-year-old child.  He kept his badge, worked on child sexual assault cases, and became union president. He allegedly went on to molest five other children.

A former detective in Texas suspected of the massacre of his wife, daughter, 17, and an 18-year-old friend, on April 19 was arrested the next day. Last summer while still a cop, he was charged with sexually assaulting and assault by strangulation of his daughter when she was 16 years old.

A 2015 study in the U.S. found that, over a 10 year period, an officer was caught in a case of sexual misconduct every five days.

“Some officers coerce street-based sex workers into performing sexual acts to avoid arrest. Relying on law enforcement to respond to sexual violence ignores the reality that many cops are perpetrators of such violence,” Cassandra Mensah, a Black attorney who represents survivors of domestic violence in New York courts and who herself is a survivor of sexual violence, wrote in this article in which she unpacks the “What about rapists?” argument.

As recently as March, it was legal for federal law enforcement officers in the U.S. to rape people in their custody and claim it was consensual sex.

read more

[always-there]

About consent

OK guys, buckle up, because today's topic is depressing as hell.

Today I'm gonna talk about consent. I usually ponder about this while I cook, in the shower, late at night when I'm applying all my learned hypnosis techniques to force myself to sleep.

I was never taught about consent. All I had going for me was the classic "Rape is bad, avoid rape" chant the world of the 90's society thought was enough. All I saw were girls being advised to not dress like sluts and avoid being provocative in public. I got a good couple of different versions of that, mind you, as I grew up in a conservative Catholic school.

Nobody told us about the universe of potential situations contained within that fucking "Rape is bad, avoid rape". We thought rape happened when a man forced himself on a woman that was actively trying to resist him.

Black and white. No grey areas. Pretty simple.

I was fine with that. I was even judgmental towards victims, once I saw how they were dressed when they were attacked. Or if they were drunk or walking by themselves on areas widely known to be dangerous.

And then I grew up, entered the nasty-ass world of adults, and the Universe took pains to kick my ass in so many ways during 30 years that have finally lead to this post today.

So, I'm a list person. I like making lists. So here goes my one and only...

CONSENT LIST

• Dudes get raped too. Yeah. I know it's basic, but I scoffed at the concept for years. I know many people who still do. Dudes get raped too, get it into your mind. And no, it doesn't happen when they are effeminate weaklings. No. Any man can get raped. And they deserve to be treated as proper victims, with respect and compassion. The few times I've seen testimonies of male rape survivors, they reported even the police was skeptical or treating them like pussies or jokes.

• If your partner is sleeping, it's not consent. No, I don't give a fuck if you guys have been together for 20 years. No, I don't give a fuck if they wake up in the middle of it and decide to continue. I don't even give a fuck if they say they like it. If you touch, penetrate, make whatever sexual advance on a sleeping person, you are raping them. Any unconscious person is unable to give consent.

• If you're in the middle of it, having a good time, and suddenly your partner wants to stop... guess what, it's time to stop. You don't stop? You ask them to hang in there for just a while more until you're done? You power through it? Yeah, no. That's not consent, buddy.

• If you're ABOUT to do it, and the foreplay was great, and they were so into it, but when the time comes to actually go all the way, they change their mind... time to go home. Or put on a movie, or do whatever the fuck you want that is not forcing or trying to persuade your partner to go on.

• Subtle denial is a big-ass NO as well. They have a headache? Leave it. They are tired? Leave it. They have to wake up early the next day? Leave it. They fear a phantom clown is gonna haunt the bed if they indulge in intercourse that night? Leave-it. Don't persuade your partner to have sex if they don't feel like it. You know why? Because they DON'T want to have sex. Persuading or wearing someone down to say yes is not consent. It's pressure. Which takes us to the next bullet...

• If you insist that YES always means YES just like NO always means NO, I will smack you in the head with a frozen lamb leg. YES can be induced. Can be pressured. You can actually intimidate, scare, threaten and bully a person into saying yes. Maybe they are not ready. Maybe they are not sure about the relationship. Maybe they are not feeling well. Maybe they are fucking scared of you. It doesn't matter. If you have to lobby for it, leave it. You're being a creep.

• Drunk people. Good God. I can't believe this has to be an item. Leave drunk people alone! And I don't even mean passed-out drunk, I mean intoxicated but still dancing people, still talking people, I even mean, yes, dizzy or tipsy people. A person under the influence is not able to consent. Why do you think we drink, why do we call it a social lubricant, and other funny jabs? Because alcohol fights the restraint and common sense we'd had otherwise. It's a fun way to loosen up and get relaxed, but if someone has been drinking, don't hunt them for sex. I can't believe the number of movies and series that broadcast dudes trying to hit on drunk women. It still happens today, and not in a Law and Order episode, in your common everyday rom-com. This applies to every person under the influence of whatever substance they took that clouds their judgment.

And no, I won't hear it. They didn't put themselves in a position of danger. You are the danger, a threat that should not exist in the first place.

• So far so good, right? Well, tell me what you think about this. Let's say your partner doesn't want to have kids. And you do want them, for whatever reason. So, what do you do?

You mess with their birth control. Or you lie about you taking birth control. Or you lie about using a condom, or about the physical integrity and expiration date of said condom. Bam, presto manifesto, a bun in the oven.

That is fucking rape. And if you still need to ask why, because for whatever reason that was not creepy enough for you, I'll spell it out. It's rape, because the other person did not consent to that.

And now, if you still don't feel the need to go and take a shower until December, I have yet another list.

Are you in doubt? Are you not sure you are a rapist or not? Worry not! Below you'll find a funny little questionnaire ready for you to clear your mind and heart:

CAN I RAPE SOMEONE IF...

• ...they are dressing provocatively?

Answer: They could be walking down the busiest street of the city during rush hour completely naked and with a big, red silk bow on their ass, and still, nothing in the fucking world gives you the right to touch them. You are not entitled to another person's body because of what they choose to wear.

• ...we are dating?

Answer: Not if you are dating, not if you are married, not if the zombie apocalypse finally wiped out humanity and God himself descends from Heaven to pronounce you Adam & Eve 2.0 and gives you the task to repopulate the world. Dating only means you two are seeing each other on a regular basis for fun or to explore the possibility of a future together. It doesn't mean that your partner's body becomes your property, ergo, you have no rights whatsoever over it.

• ...they are seducing me?

Answer: Half of the time, nobody was seducing you, genius. If I have to hear another anecdote of how a bartender or barista o waitperson were throwing themselves on someone, I will barf in my own mouth. Servers are required to be nice, it's on their job description. But anyway, let's say for the sake of argument that yeah, they are indeed seducing you: no. Showing interest in someone is not an invitation to fuck, nor a provocation to fuck, so let things go their way and don't be a creepy jackass.

• ...I have done nice things for them?

This one I actually heard from a former, and I can't emphasize the former enough, friend. Their case was something along the lines of, I took her to dinner and a movie, later coffee and dessert, and one other lame activity I can't remember (probably drinks), paid for everything, took her home on my car... and then she refused to let me go upstairs!

Dude. Duuuuuude. And dudettes too, of course. No. If you want to get your money's worth, go to a proper sex worker, who will charge you accordingly for their services. Don't expect the other person to feel obligated to pay you with their body just because you fed them and threw a movie ticket in the package!

I had one friend go on a date with a guy. The date didn't work out, so they went their separate ways... until the guy showed up on her doorstep asking her to reimburse him for coffee and a donut. I shit you not. She was so dumbfounded she actually paid him back so he would leave, and I'm glad she did, because that, my friend, is rapist material on the making.

• ...they are a sex worker?

Answer: No, you creepy freak, absolutely not. Every single point I mentioned above applies to every human being on the planet and active or inactive Space stations. You cannot force yourself on anyone, you cannot violate consent ever. It doesn't matter if you're fooling around with the biblical whores of Babylon or the entire cast of Full Monty after a round of the blue pill. Consent protects everyone, no matter what they do for a living.

I'm so happy that all these points are not gonna be news for most of you. Awareness is spreading and the new generations are taught about consent since they are little kids. My generation, and most of all my generation in my country, dominated by a traditional patriarchal society, heard nothing of it. "Rape is bad, avoid rape" was taught mostly as a warning tale for girls. It was the girls' responsibility to prevent rape. Don't walk alone at night. Don't use slutty clothes. Don't be provocative towards men. Don't drink too much. Don't stare too much. Don't go to non-respectable places. Don't put yourself in danger.

I think things would significantly change if the song was played differently. Don't teach girls how to prevent rape. Don't teach boys that rape is bad and that "real men" don't need it.

Teach everyone about consent. Rape is only one of the grim consequences of violating consent. There are thousands of different traumatizing situations that could be avoided if we only respected consent all the time, if we were taught about healthy boundaries and personal integrity since kids.

But hey, we're getting there. I hope. I wish.

• Disclaimer: actually, I think disclaimers like this should not be needed, but still. In case you feel the urge of accusing me of speaking from theory... nope. I speak from experience. Personal experience. Experience I wish I didn't have, and that I had a very hard time harvesting to learn and become stronger. So yeah. Shut the fuck up, go out there and respect the shit out of people.

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

feeling drained (a vent post)

or, why I haven't been on here in a while (tw rape// sa)

I know I haven't posted on this blog in a while. honestly though every time I open this blog I see my stupid Kamala Harris one direction post and I feel so defeated. I want to just delete it but I don't wanna upset people so idk what to do. I don't want that to be what my blog is known for. I made it as an offhanded joke and then I've slowly watched Kamala Harris reveal more and more what a genocidal maniac she is and I feel disgusted with myself for joking about someone like that. making light of such a severe situation. then Liam Payne died, which is of course tragic, but it came out that he was an abuser and stuff and then more people found my post because it was tagged one direction and it blew up again.

and as a rape and SA survivor, and as a sex workers, every day on this hellsite gets harder honestly. you guys don't realize how vile some of the shit you say is the way people talk about sex workers is so downright mean. and like so many horrible men are either celebrated or turned into memes. Liam Payne, Neil gaiman, p Diddy, Johnny Depp, every time I open Tumblr I have to see someone talking about these men and the people who make jokes about "baby oil" or post "it sucks that Gaiman is a rapist but my comfort show!" or all the halloween gifsets of Johnny Depp movies and there's just so much all the time.

I don't want to deal with this shit. I just want to open Tumblr, make silly posts about Night Vale, and then go about my life. I hate this so much. I feel like no one even enjoys my blog anymore because I've abandoned so many of my fics and I'm behind on the show. you guys followed me for content and I haven't given any content. I'm really sorry for whoever I've disappointed but its just not fun to be on here anymore.

anyways. sorry. if anyone has any advice I'm completely open to it just please be nice cause I'm going through a lot.

[stripyhorse23]

TV of 2020

1) I May Destroy You

I May Destroy You might not have been written during the pandemic, but when it arrived in June it felt like the sort of complicated, cathartic show that could have been.  Detailing one woman’s experience of rape and its aftermath, Michaela Coel (who wrote every episode) continually found rich narrative avenues in which to explore her characters’ individual experiences of sexual assault and consent.  If that makes the series sound concept-driven, it always placed its characters first; the push-and-pull between Arabella, Terry and Kwame is key to the ways in which Coel’s tender, curious writing is able to explore power dynamics within relationships, friendships and hook-ups.  Other, lesser shows that are this deliberately open-ended might feel opaque: it’s testament to the show’s confidence of voice that isn’t the case here.

2) Normal People

Like plenty of others, I binged the entire series of Normal People in a weekend, although one of its many pleasures is how Sally Rooney and Alice Birch’s adaptation teases out the episodic nature of the former’s bestseller.  From Connell’s early days at university, to a Tuscan holiday turned sour, and an exchange year in Sweden, Normal People was about the ways in which the people we love move in and out of our lives over the years.  It wasn’t immune to mis-steps (the show draws something of a crude line between the abuse Marianne suffers at home and what she seeks out in romantic partners), but the sheer emotional heft of the show was undeniable, nowhere less so than Paul Mescal’s floodgate-opening performance in Episode 10.

3) Adult Material

Perhaps one of the year’s most overlooked shows, Adult Material follows Hayley Burrows as she attempts to balance life as the harassed mother-of-three and the twilight years of her career as adult performer Jolene Dollar.  The slyly comic edge of the first episode is quickly eroded after Jolene becomes embroiled in the abuse of another actor on-set.  A stark portrait of alcohol abuse and loneliness, it’s also a sharp indictment of how little the so-called ‘culture wars’ surrounding pornography are meaningfully impactful on sex workers themselves.  Hayley Squires gives the sort of white-hot star performance usually reserved for 90s Hollywood rom-coms, a veneer of frustration and resignation overlaying even her character’s most abrasive moments.

4) Cook, Eat, Repeat

Why not in this interminably shitty year, choose the one show that offered the sort of balm it’s impossible to reverse engineer?  Following hot on the heels of a disappointing series of The Great British Bake-Off, Nigella Lawson’s warm, inviting half-hour new series was the televisual equivalent of a long bath and a facemask.  Her fish finger bhorta, brown butter colcannon and black pudding meatballs have already made it into this household’s repertoire, but there’s something innately comforting about the luxurious silliness of Nigella that almost transcends criticism.  Whether it’s the giddy nonsense of her liquorice box, the ‘did I hear that right’ moment when she revealed her pronunciation of ‘microwave,’ or the seductive self-care of making a creme caramel for one, no other show elicited such pure enjoyment from me this year.

5) I’ll Be Gone In The Dark

The true crime documentary series boom has increasingly leaned into a focus on the victims, from last year’s The Yorkshire Ripper Files to Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich, but none so effectively or compassionately as I’ll Be Gone In The Dark.  Less a story about the hunt for the Golden State Killer and more a study of trauma and obsession, the series splices together home footage of the late Michelle McNamara’s investigation with survivor testimony to create a haunting portrait of one man’s legacy of pain.  The early episodes are replete with skin-crawling tension, anguish and tears, but the later episodes allow that to fall away, focusing on the mental fortitude necessary for the survivors at its centre and the sense of community fostered by meeting other women like them.

6)The Salisbury Poisonings

I had no interest in watching this BBC limited series initially: the advertising made it look dry, the story itself (the Novichok poisonings of 2018) seemingly devoid of juicy narrative material.  That I’ve watched this three times in the space of a year speaks to its robust, urgent filmmaking.  Like several other shows on this list, it arrived into the context of a pandemic it couldn’t have foreseen, but watching the rapid, careful response of local government (crucially and deliberately obstructed by Whitehall) to this crisis presented a sort of horribly watchable what-if scenario.  What seemed at first blush to be middle-of-the-road programming evolved over three episodes into the sort of spare, quietly terrifying journalistic drama that invites comparison to last year’s Chernobyl.

7) We Are Who We Are

It turns out that Luca Guadagnino’s woozy, seductive style transfers perfectly to television, and despite We Are Who We Are lacking the timelessness that typifies I Am Love or Call Me By Your Name it thrillingly captured the turbulent adolescence of its teenage characters.  Equally effervescent and raggedly emotional, the show’s joy always felt hard-won, bumping heads with the often cynical, unreadable motivations of the adult characters.  A tender and frank depiction of queer identities within traditionally restrictive environments, it’s also a love letter to young friendship and the lifeline that can provide during our formative years.  Spellbinding.

8) Selling Sunset

Perhaps the year’s most impressively constructed reality show, I was slow on the uptake with Netflix’s Selling Sunset only to have it take over my life for a few weeks during the summer.  Manufactured reality series are tough to get right, but much like The Hills (surely this show’s biggest influence) Selling Sunset gains a lot of mileage from gaming pre-existing friendships for maximum impact.  Christine and Mary’s beleaguered relationship and, obliquely, their respective responses to fame continued to provide wildly watchable fireworks, but the build-up to Chrishell’s separation from husband Justin Hartley was exquisitely handled.  Suddenly Davina’s strangely uncharismatic shit-stirrer and Christine’s predictably OTT wedding were forced to take a back seat to something approaching genuinely moving television.  Trying to tease out what was real and what wasn’t, and following the ways this all spilled out onto social media, was pure, unmitigated pleasure in a year sorely lacking in just that sort of unfettered escapism.

9) My Brilliant Friend

Two seasons in and there might not be another character on TV that I’m as continually frustrated and fascinated by as Lila, the eponymous ‘brilliant friend’ of the show’s title.  Sparingly warm, often cruel, seductive, Season 2 of HBO’s masterful adaptation sees her trapped in a loveless, abusive marriage but as ever it’s her fractured relationship with Lenù that forms the emotional spine of the show.  There’s often a strange sort of snobbery around the term ‘prestige drama,’ as if all that money on the screen is a smokescreen for a dearth of anything to say; My Brilliant Friend uses every colour in its paintbox to portray the yawning void that opened up between Lenù and Lila as they entered adulthood, from the lavish, provocative outfits Lila’s adopts after she marries Stefano to Max Richter’s evocative score and the detail poured into the show’s supporting characters.  Rewardingly complex.

10) Mrs. America

I laboured over what would take my tenth spot this year since there was so much TV that I loved, and especially this year so much of it felt essential to how I was receiving the world around me.  Ultimately, Mrs. America’s mixture of astute political commentary, character-driven writing and host of enjoyable performances tipped the scale in its favour.  Cate Blanchett’s all-timer of a performance as Phyllis Schafly understandably received the majority of attention, but Mrs. America gave us so many memorable moments: Sarah Paulson’s Alice ringing the bell at reception whilst high, Uzo Aduba’s Shirley Chisholm speaking to a potentially bugged hotel ventilator, Margo Martindale’s Bella Abzug quietly realising she’s no longer the radical of her youth on a busy New York street.  This sort of deft, smart political drama isn’t often this much fun to watch, and what an ending...

11) This Life

An honourable mention to a show made almost twenty-five years ago that nevertheless helped define the year in TV for me.  Shows that were once considered part of the zeitgeist can often feel quaint and old-fashioned in retrospect, but Amy Jenkins rambunctious flatshare drama isn’t one of them.  Whilst it can sometimes feel like the show’s characters are universally adverse to making even one good decision between them, there’s a compassion and care underpinning This Life that means it never comes across as overly cynical or sneering.  There’s also a lot to be said for discovering a performance that you genuinely consider to be one of the best of the decade, and no other character this year frustrated and moved me in the ways that Daniela Nardini’s Anna did.  Bonus points for the genuinely chaotic final episode, perhaps one of the best I’ve ever seen.

And FWIW, these are ten performances from shows not on the list above that I loved this year: Marielle Heller in The Queen’s Gambit, Nicholas Hoult in The Great, Sarah Lancashire in Last Tango in Halifax, Poorna Jagannathan in Never Have I Ever, Michael Sheen in Quiz, Imelda Staunton in Talking Heads, Leila Farzad in I Hate Suzie, Alison Pill in Star Trek: Picard, Gillian Anderson in The Crown and Andy Allo in Upload.

And ten episodes of TV that I loved too: ‘Terry and Korvo Steal a Bear’ (Solar Opposites), ‘The Gang Deals With Alternate Reality’ (The Good Fight), ‘Uncle Naseem’ (Ramy), ‘The View From Halfway Down’ (Bojack Horseman), ‘The Vat of Acid Episode’ (Rick and Morty), ‘I Am’ (Lovecraft Country), ‘No Small Parts’ (Star Trek: Lower Decks), Seven-Spotted Ladybug’ (Everything’s Gonna Be Okay), ‘Daytona’ (Cheer), ‘Whenever You’re Ready’ (The Good Place).

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 510

This show is like, here’s some deeply problematic and shittily plotted source material, what if, instead of adapting it and telling a compelling story that isn’t basically just constant violence against women, we just lean in to that. Because clearly what modern, primarily female audiences want is to be reminded that women can only be victims or have their stories be defined by their relationships with men, because the world was and is always out to hurt them and without men, what’s the point of them. Really groundbreaking and compelling stuff. *eye roll so hard it hurts*

I couldn’t even muster up anger while watching this. Feeling anger would mean that on some level, I still cared and was invested in the show. But I really just felt resigned. Like yup, this is a bad show and while it might have a fluke good episode or scene every now and then, overall it’s rull not good.

*pours one out for what the show could have been*

Y’all, did you know that Stephen Bonnet is a bad guy? I know it hasn’t been subtle with just the raping and murdering, but just in case you didn’t pick up what he’s putting down, let’s throw in some sex trafficking. Because, you know, the past is dangerous for women.

*already wants to stop watching this show*

Lowkey judging all the men in Wilmington who do business with Bonnet tbh. Like, there’s more than one smuggler in the world. Why work with the one who is a raging sociopath?

In the tradition of there only being a grand total of 4 names in the Outlanderverse, even the aliases are repeated. Alexander Malcolm is the dread pirate Roberts of whisky.

Can we please have a whole series about Claire just being a doctor? Because I liked the scene of her getting a syringe tube made more than most other things in the whole season tbh.

But of course, it’s the past. And that’s dangerous for women. So clearly something bad is about to happen to them.

*eye rolls for days*

GIVE ME ALL OF CLAIRE AND BREE SCAVENGING. GIVE ME ALL OF THEM CHATTING ABOUT MEDICINE AND NON-FRED STORIES OF THEIR OLD LIVES. CAN WE PLEASE HAVE JUST AN HOUR OF THAT PLEASE AND THANK YOU?

Omfg I cannot with Roger being like, I’m not good at fighting, but I am going to be the one who kills the man who is very good at fighting. Because “Brianna’s yer daughter, but she’s my wife.” So clearly that means I get to do the murder. And we’ll each do some murder if the other dies.

Oh I’m sorry, did I hit my head and wake up in patriarchal bullshit land?

Yeah, Outlander isn’t political, but here’s a scene about the damage humans do to the environment and the animals we share the Earth with.

Also, we call it the Cape. We go down the Cape. We see things off the Cape. Cape Cod is for the tourists.

LOOK AT MY PRECIOUS BADASSES BEING ALL CUTE AND RUNNING ON THE BEACH. Welp, that’s over. Can’t go more than thirty seconds without a woman being in danger. Those are just the rules of The Past.

Also like, of course Bonnet didn’t show up for the deal. These dumbos are like expecting the rape and murder champion of the Carolina’s to play by normal rules of business. Like, have you met this dude? Idiots.

Jamie letting Roger almost get killed is A Mood.

Gonna ignore the Bonnet bullshit and just point out that this Claire lewk is maybe my favorite of the season. Love the dress, love the hair.

This story line is hot garbage, but at least we’re spared him keeping his fucking testicle in a jar.

Yes, she hates you because you forgot her name in the jail. And violent rape is totally a bygone that can be whistled past.

Lol at Brianna, or anyone really, giving a shit about the enslaved people at River Run only when she’s trapped with a psycho.

This whole thing is annoying af. Like he’s clearly not capable of keeping up his fun game of the week of being a doting husband and father. Like, in no reality is this a real thing he can be. I like was getting a stomach ache just thinking about how stressed Brianna is during all of this. And then they’re like oh well let’s talk about his tragic past. Like nope, stop right there, plenty of people have tragic pasts and don’t end up being rapists and murderers. This doesn’t make him a deeper character or sympathetic in any way.

Fucker doesn’t really want a family and son or whatever. He fleetingly likes the idea of having them. Ditto with being accepted and recognized in society.

“There are two sides to every story” is dangerous bullshit. There is no excuse for raping someone. None. Zero. There is one and only one story and it’s that raping someone is wrong and an unforgivable act. No trauma or struggle in someone’s past mitigates them raping someone.

No one gives a fuck about your nightmares, Bonnet. But sure, let’s give shittons of screen time to this.

“I could never think any less of you.” I see what you did there, Bree.

I can’t stand that literally Bree’s entire story is about her rape. But, you know, ThE pAsT aNd ThE bOoKs, so clearly a woman can’t have a story line outside of trauma or supporting a man.

Also, like, Bree? This whole playing along survival tactic? Bonnet’s not stupid. No judgment or anything, she’s in an impossible position, but like there was zero chance this wouldn’t blow up.

Hi viewer, are you bummed that there isn’t *more* rape in Outlander? Well do we have a treat for you! Rape by Proxy! If you thought we were running out of main characters to rape, don’t worry! We’ll force characters to watch as their rapist fucks someone else to make sure they know that more rape is on the horizon!

Also, guessing Eppie isn’t a sex worker because she wants to be. Survival sex work, just another hit on the never ending The Past (and Present) Is Dangerous For Women list.

I still do not understand the point of Duncan. Like, at all. It’s the most pointless BeCaUsE tHe BoOk thing ever and therefore more annoying than it should be.

Forbes is annoying af and also like Jocasta isn’t dumb. Her not picking up that he’s a weasel seems...not believable. And if she’s intentionally fucking with him, her not having someone in the room as backup is also dumb.

Oh and with Ulysses using her name and kissing her hand, I swear to fuck if they do the they were banging the whole time thing next week, I’ma...not be at all surprised. Because of course they would. Le sigh.

Rape and kidnap isn’t enough trauma for one person, let’s also try to sex traffic her! I can’t. I just cannot.

I am so tired, y’all. So. Fucking. Tired.

At least this crap is wrapped up no and we’re not subjected to another season of it like we were subjected to another book’s worth.

It’s getting so hard to find silver linings, yo.

They spend a disproportional amount of time showing Bonnet tied to the pole. Just again centering the rapist instead of the survivor. Seriously on brand for the show and seriously fucked up that they’re cool with this being their brand.

Brianna shooting him is like a rare instance of her having agency. Good for her.

And fuck Roger for being like is that mercy or so you know he’s dead? It can be fucking either or both, you tool, and be a valid af choice either way. Or is it only ok for you men to kill him? Because I remember not even an hour ago you being like nope, my dick’s bigger, I get to kill him.

And of course it ends on a shot of Bonnet and not Bree, lest we forget who the show cares about centering.

[pereirawrites]

𝐓he Price for a Life.

“You may choose to look the other way, but you can never again say you did not know.” -  William Wilberforce. 

I quote William Wilberforce, a British leader influential in the abolition of the slave trade in Britain during the late 18th Century. Though we now live in the 21st Century, the problem of human trafficking persists, haunting the lives of millions of men, women, girls & boys in every corner of the world. Human trafficking simply put is an extreme violation of human rights involving the exploitation of vulnerable individuals in an underground industry with lucrative profits (approximately 150$ Billion annually: ILO), high demand (21 million victims), low reporting of crimes, & relatively low risks as compared to the monetary rewards. 

Every industry, including the human trafficking industry, can be examined based on demand & supply for the commodity for sale, in this case: Living Breathing Human Beings. Modern-day slavery can be studied in two forms: Labour trafficking & commercial sex trafficking. Taking the case of India, the Global Slavery Index {GSI} in 2016 estimated that approximately 18.3 million Indians were employed in some form of forced labor, often ensnaring generation after generation, living in perpetual poverty. Bonded labor as a practice, though formally abolished in India, still exists in various parts of the country by different names; from debt bondage in the granite quarries of Rajasthan, the brick kiln labor traps of disaster-prone Odisha, to the deceptive Sumangali schemes of Tamil Nadu. 

Profit hungry industries that demand cheap labor, hire illegal labor agents, who often dangle the bait of regular income & better living conditions before desperate unsuspecting victims from economically disadvantaged sections of society. The victims are then coerced into undertaking low-paid, heavy labor in dingy work environments until their fake labor contract is completed, or the high-interest loan is repaid. The false promises of well-paid employment, however, are never fulfilled, because none of the victims ever see the full sum of the promised money or repay their debts, thus creating a vicious cycle of extreme poverty in specific communities.   

Another aspect that fuels labor trafficking, is the fact that a majority of daily wage workers are employed in the informal sector which lacks proper legal regulation or labor protection, thus allowing the silent oppression of millions of individuals who can’t take legal recourse because no contracts or labor laws exist in the informal economy. Women are paid much less than their male counterparts for the same work, and disguised unemployment is also a cause of worry in the informal sector. A stumbling block in the fight for human rights, is the marriage of young child brides in various countries, at an age when they should be studying in schools and enjoying their childhood. Child marriage poses a grave health & psychological threat to the affected individuals, crushing the dreams of dozens of innocent children, in South Asia {approximately 31 million girls}, sub-Saharan Africa { 14 million}, & Latin America {6.6 million - 2012 NCBI} 

Like labor trafficking, the criminal sex trafficking industry can be analyzed on a similar note. Sex traffickers or sexual predators, often lure victims either on social media platforms (cyber-bullying) or in backward neighborhoods (kidnapping), by emotionally blackmailing individuals into giving up their bodies for a fixed price. Once trapped in the complex web of exploitation in modern-day brothels, clubs & the adult entertainment industry, victims of sex trafficking are often hidden in plain sight. Many are trapped behind the closed doors of escort services or fake massage parlors, as pointed out by human-trafficking survivor Cassandra Diamond, the founding Director of BridgeNorth, Canada. Facing immense physical violence and psychological torture on a daily basis, the men and women who finally do escape their difficult circumstances, rarely receive the necessary rehabilitation, aftercare or psychological therapy. They also mostly live in societies that unfairly discriminate & ostracize survivors because of their painful past.

How do we tackle the complicated issue of human trafficking? By identifying the four major stake-holders affected by the human trafficking industry, we can zero in on the steps required to crack down on this crime that reduces human beings to mere objects. Firstly, governments need to acknowledge that human trafficking is a critical issue, especially with the skewed sex ratios in countries worldwide {Qatar: 302 males per 100 females} which results in the sale of brides by human trafficking and forced marriages because of high female foeticide rates. Policymakers need to support the implementation of laws that increase penalties for traffickers while enhancing victim protection & strict enforcement of minimum wage and labor laws. We also need to focus on breaking the vicious cycle of poverty, economic instability,  refugee crises & female foeticide rates that lead to human trafficking, by looking at these problems through the lens of humanity & not by mere unemotional statistics.

Secondly, companies need to understand that the short-term profits from cheap labor pale in comparison to the long-term benefits of upholding labor laws (employee loyalty) and fair trade practices (customer satisfaction), which could vanish if the shameful truth of labor exploitation reaches the public, tarnishing the company image forever. Thirdly, we need to have those awkward conversations with our sons & daughters, to reduce the demand for commercial sex trafficking & help individuals realize how their actions, online and offline, directly or directly enslave millions of adults & youth in lives of torture & rape.  

Finally, by working alongside verified NGOs, volunteer groups & other dedicated organizations to create awareness on human trafficking, we can increase the reporting of human trafficking cases, thereby helping many more men and women escape the harmful clutches of this parasitic industry. Through proper rehabilitation, financial assistance and psychological therapy, the victims of human trafficking can be empowered to become the protagonists of their own stories, thereby giving individuals a second chance to live the life of their dreams. I end with a quote by Tony Kirwan, Destiny Rescue Founder & International President, “Dare to enter the darkness to bring another into the light.”

Copyright Ⓒ Megan Pereira 2020

Pic Credits: Google

[lokilickedme]

MASTER FIC LIST ~ *updated 10/27/19*

Newest updates:

The Department - updated 10/27

Previous recent updates:

Aingeal Ard - updated 10/14 Hammer of The Gods - updated 10/20 The Department - updated 10/21

All fics on this list are posted at AO3 unless noted

*The Loki Reads series is exclusively on tumblr.com

Everything is under the cut because this list is LONG.

Fics are categorized by main character (i.e. Loki, Tom Hiddleston as Original Characters, etc)

Series and associated AU’s and side stories are grouped together (Chemical + Prehistories + Troika Apocalyptica + Penumbraluna + Wolfsbane...you get the idea)

Fics are identified as WIP (work in progress) or complete, with associated word counts and chapter amounts.

WARNINGS are notated, though the warning tags at AO3 should be paid attention to because they are far more complete and detailed.

Fic genres (romance, comedy, thriller) are briefly notated but these are general.

There is a link at the end of the list to my books at Amazon, if you’re interested in those.

This list will be updated as fics update and incomplete information will be added as I have time.

Click READ MORE to see the list:

Exclusively on tumblr:

Part 1 - Loki Reads The Night Manager Part 2 - Loki Reads High Rise Part 3 - Loki Reads Fifty Shades of Grey

WORKS AT AO3

Word/chapter counts are current as of 10/21/2019

Loki

Jack Montague - WIP - 176,534 words, 62 chapters - WARNINGS: hardcore sex, language, violence, sexual deviance, mentions of abuse, mentions of depression, explicit everything, blood/vampyric activities, numerous smutty kinks, and whatever else you can think of.  Not kidding, everything in this one is really hardcore.  Supernatural romance/adventure in the post-MCU/Post-2012 Avengers.  Main character - Loki.  Secondary character/love interest -  Jack Montague.  Relationship - Loki/Jack.  Side characters - Adam (OLLA), Thor, Nick Fury, Eve (OLLA), Selina (Sanguine).  The Trickster God has been exiled to Earth for a very long time...as the oldest living monster in the realm, he’s bored off his skull and endlessly intrigued when he runs across a monster of an entirely different kind - and strikes up a playful romantic partnership with a vampire who may be far more than he bargained for.  *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*

Sugar Skull - complete - 3115 words.  Side story to Jack Montague, part 3 of The Joker And The Thief.  Main character - Loki.  Side characters - Jack, Thor. WARNINGS: Language, sex.  What Loki does every year on Halloween.  *MATURE*

The Gucci Incident - complete - 4278 words.  Side story to Jack Montague, part 2 of The Joker And The Thief.  Main character - Loki.  Side characters - Adam.  WARNINGS:  Mostly language.  Loki and his vampire father-in-law Adam chase a pair of bedroom slippers across New York City.  *MATURE*

The Trickster’s Wife - complete - 71,001 words, 31 chapters.  Post Avengers, MCU.  Romance/epic adventure.  WARNINGS:  Very explicit sex, some language, some violence, very adult themes, mentions of abuse.  Main character - Loki.  Secondary character/love interest:  Princess Anja.  Relationship -  Loki/Anja.  Side characters - Thor, Odin, Frigga, Bragneire.  Asgard needs Loki, but Loki has a price - a wife he has no right to ask for.  So of course he does just that.  *MATURE, EXPLICIT*

The King of All The Rest - WIP - 1444 words, 1 chapter, ongoing (Part 2 of Myths of Asgard) - Sequel to The Trickster’s Wife.  Romance/comedy.  Main characters - Loki, Bragneire, Anja.  Relationship -  Loki/Anja.  Loki has retired, left Asgard, left the throne, left everything save for one beautiful thing that he’ll never lose again...the wife he fought so hard to keep.  WARNINGS: Sex, language.  *MATURE*

The King’s Heart - complete - 47,229 words, 21 chapters.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, sexual violence, abuse, language, mental illness, blood, grief, very adult themes.  Main character - Loki.  Secondary character/love interest - Lyra.  Side characters - Thor, Frigga, Aleks Lokisson, several offspring.  Post-Avengers UA.  Loki has been given the throne, but his apparent madness prevents him from opening his heart to his new queen.  *VERY EXPLICIT*

The Wolf King - complete - 44,315 words, 17 chapters.  WARNINGS:  Sexual activity, language, some violence, smutty talk from Loki, adult themes.  Fluffy adventure/romance.  Loki’s son Aleks has been handed the throne, but he doesn’t want it yet - not while there’s a universe to be conquered in “other” more satisfying ways.  But a mysterious pair of offworlders have a vested interest in the boy king fulfilling his prophecy the way his famous father did.  Main characters - Aleks, Loki.  Secondary characters/love interests - Cara, Lyra.  Side characters - Thor, The Syl, Sleipnir, Loki’s daughters, some surprise guests at the end.  *MATURE*

Lost Creatures - complete - 4929 words.  Main characters - Loki, Thor.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, explicit language, violence, male/male.  Loki and Thor have always loved as much as they’ve hated...but which of the two emotions is the stronger?  *EXPLICIT*

Civil Disobedience - complete - 1066 words.  WARNINGS:  Spanking, nonconsensual.  Main character - Loki.  Short vignette involving a Dominant Loki and his disobedient plaything.  *EXPLICIT*

Mine - complete - 2051 words.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, language, voyeurism, angst.  Main character - Loki.  Side characters - Thor, the bride.  She was one thing over all others...she was mine.  *EXPLICIT*

THE TEMPEST SERIES

Main character for all parts - Loki.  WARNINGS FOR ALL PARTS:  Hardcore sex, strong language, some violence, implied bestiality, very heavy smut.  All parts complete.  Dark romance/thriller.

Part 1 - Darkness Lives In Me - Loki’s fall from grace (1421 words) Part 2 - Before Chaos - Loki plots to take over Midgard (3120 words) Part 3 - After The Maelstrom -  Loki kills some time before the conquest (3088) Part 4 - Eye of The Storm -  Loki finds a way to...well... (2369 words) Part 5 - Her Side of The Storm -  Loki’s chosen conquest tells her side (2476) Part 6 - A Perfect Whirlwind -  Loki serves his time, misses his chosen (2928) Part 7 - Cyclone In A Teacup -  A conjugal visitation to Midgard (2654 words) Part 8 - An Intemperate Rain -  Loki comes bearing gifts (2132 words) Part 9 - Darkening Skies -  A trinket with...dubious powers (4304 words) Part 10 - The Nature Of Thunder -  Loki, kidnap, what could go wrong? (3325) Part 11 - Lightning Strikes -  Fury’s revenge, Loki’s redemption (3905 words)

*All parts of the above series:  EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*

No Regrets -  complete - 1634 words.  WARNINGS:  Crazy explicit sex, language, absolutely no plot.  Smutty comedy.  Loki, dad’s throne, and a willing partner...just another Wednesday on Asgard.  Main character - Loki.  Side characters - woman, Thor, Odin.  *EXPLICIT*

Whisper -  complete - 6440 words, 6 chapters.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, explicit language, threatened explicit violence.  Main character - Loki.  Side character - woman.  Romance.  Asgard has fallen while Loki is imprisoned far beneath the city, leaving him the sole survivor - and as the world slowly decays above him, he opens a path to escape through the dreams of a Midgardian female.  *EXPLICIT*

The Dragon Queen - complete - 37,503 words, 28 chapters. Main character - Loki.  Relationship - Loki/Eira.  Romance.  WARNINGS:  Very hardcore sex, violence, rape, abuse, language, torture.  Odin has given up trying to break Loki - until the day he sends his other prized prisoner into the Trickster’s cell.  *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*  *WARNING - CONTAINS RAPE SCENES*

The Good Stuff -  complete - 3513 words.  WARNINGS:  Crude explicit language, some smutty sex and references and drunkenness.  Comedy.  Main characters - Loki and Thor.  Side characters - Frigga, Odin, castle servants.  Two bored brothers, one long night, and mom’s secret hooch stash - what could go wrong?  *MATURE*

Smooth Criminal - Part 1 of the Criminal Activity Series - complete - 4252 words.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex and dominance.  Avengers (2012) adjacent.  Where did Loki get that suit anyway?  *EXPLICIT*

Blue Collar Criminal - Part 2 of the Criminal Activity Series - incomplete - 1171 words.  Post-Avengers.  WARNINGS:  None really, it hasn’t gotten far enough yet.  Sitting on the throne is dull as fuck.  Might as well hit Asgard again, only this time Loki only intends to conquer one human - the girl from the suit shop.  *WILL BE EXPLICIT IF I EVER FINISH IT*

Tom Hiddleston as Original Characters

The Department - WIP - 56,810   words, 17 chapters, ongoing.  *UPDATED 10/27/19*  Main characters - Greta (OFC), Chief (Tom Hiddleston).  Side characters - Andy (Andrew Hozier-Byrne), Cree (Jason Momoa), Cade (Chris Evans), Kevin (Dave Bautista), Hawk (David Tennant), Sarah (Sarah Lancashire), Ted (Sebastian Stan), Wilson (Owen Wilson).  Comedy/romance.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, explicit crude language, sexism, minor violence.  Greta arrives in a small town in Minnesota to wait out her disciplinary review after an on the job accident and struggles to survive a crackpot stationhouse full of sexist cops...while trying really hard not to fall in love with the Chief.  *EXPLICIT*  - updates weekly (Sundays)

Hammer Of The Gods - WIP - 23,305 words - 24/30 chapters, ongoing.  *UPDATED 10/20/19*   Main characters - Jake (Tom Hiddleston), Tate (OFC), Pete (Chris Hemsworth).  WARNINGS: hardcore language, explicit sex, mild/brief violence, referenced mental/emotional/verbal abuse.  AU Loki and Thor as human construction workers renovating a house next door to a recently divorced mom who really needs to learn how to live again.  *EXPLICIT*

Body Double - complete - 143,489 words, 40 chapters.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, language, references to past sexual and physical abuse, brief reference to miscarriage, heavy Dom/sub undertones.  Main character - Tom Hiddleston (as himself).  Secondary character/love interest - Anna (OFC).  Side characters - Chris Hemsworth, Ian.  Romance.  An actor and a body double working on his film embark on a romantic relationship after the movie wraps.  *VERY EXPLICIT*

Sunflower - WIP - 33,577 words - 13/15 chapters, ongoing.  Main characters - Tommy (Tom Hiddleston), Chloe (OFC/Dove Cameron).  Side characters - Amy (Sarah Wayne Callies), Martin (Idris Elba), Blake (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) , Tony (Robert Downey Jr).  Sweet romance.  Don’t park in the disabled spot unless you’re ready to fall in love with the girl you stole it from.  WARNINGS:  Sex, mild language, injury description.  *MATURE*

THE MCCLARY CHRONICLES

Part 1 - Sgaile Leannan -  complete - 58,066 words, 20 chapters.  Main characters - King McClary (Tom Hiddleston), Molly Thompkin (OFC).  Romance.  Molly arrives in Scotland on a work assignment and meets her nemesis - the surly kilted sheep farmer who owns the land she’s trespassing on.  WARNINGS:  Very explicit sex, explicit language, mild violence.  This story was rewritten for publication with changes - original version remains on AO3.  *EXPLICIT*

Part 2 - Samhach Mhiannan -  complete - 78,763 words, 25 chapters.  Molly returns home to Philadelphia with a little secret - and her world flips upside down when King shows up at her door months later.  SAME WARNINGS AS PART 1. This story was rewritten for publication with minor changes - original version remains on AO3.  *EXPLICIT*

Part 3 - Na Binne an Leann -  complete - 77,600 words, 25 chapters.  Molly moves to Scotland to be with King, but her future with the cranky sheepherder is, as always, shaky and uncertain.  SAME WARNINGS AS PARTS 1 AND 2. This story was rewritten for publication with minor changes - original version remains on AO3. *EXPLICIT*

A Meeting With The King - complete - 2507 words.  Side story to The McClary Chronicles.  What really happened that day at Clendon Williams when King met Ian, told from King’s POV.  WARNINGS:  Some language, mild violence.  *MATURE*

Aingeal Ard - WIP - 16,297 words - 16/20 chapters, ongoing.  *UPDATED 10/14/19*   WARNINGS: rough language, explicit sex.  Main characters - King McClary (Tom Hiddleston), Molly Thompkin (OFC).  A retelling of Sgaile Leannan from King’s POV, chapter by chapter.  *EXPLICIT*

Chemical and its Related Side Stories

Chemical - incomplete version, ended - 263,007 words, 58 chapters.  This story was rewritten and completed for publication with major changes - the original version minus the final chapters and epilogue remain at AO3.   AU Loki/Tom Hiddleston as a bartender in San Diego who falls for the last girl he should ever look at - who just happens to be his soulmate.  Main characters - Tom Heyworth (Tom Hiddleston), Anja Black (OFC).  Side characters - Chris (Chris Hemsworth), Ewan (Ewan McGregor), Pop Heyworth, Cara, Kady, Robert Laing, Eric (Michael Fassbender).  Romance.  WARNINGS: Extremely hardcore sex of all kinds, language, mild violence, references to past sexual abuse and child abuse.  *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT, NOT REMOTELY KIDDING*

THE CHEMICAL PREHISTORIES

All parts complete, all parts MATURE AND/OR EXPLICIT for sex, language, references to past abuse, mild drug use.

SIR -  Characters:  Anja’s mother and her lover; young Anja Das Vorspiel -  Characters:  Alicia and The Boss Quiet Gods -  Narrator:  Eva.  Characters:  Eva, Tom, Chris Medialuna -  the original unused ending to Chemical Two Princes -  Narrator: Anja  ADDITIONAL WARNING: character death The Mechanic -  Narrator:  Chris.  Characters:  Chris, Tom, Anja Eidolon - Narrator:  Emma.  Characters:  Emma, Tom, Anja  ADDITIONAL WARNING: disturbing imagery, imagined character death, mental illness The Scottish Barman -  Narrator:  Ewan.  Characters:  Ewan, Tom, Anja Taos -  Narrator:  Alicia  ADDITIONAL WARNING: character death Girly -  Narrator:  Anja

Penumbraluna -  complete - 19,179 words, 10 chapters.  Main characters - Tom and Chris (as teens).  Side character - Meredith Hemberley.  Coming of age.  WARNINGS:  Strong language, references to sexual abuse and child abuse, mild drug and alcohol use, male/male (brief), semi-explicit sex, character death.  Tom’s friendship with Chris, from the day they met as kids up to the point where Chemical begins.  *MATURE*

See You After The Apocalypse - Part 1 of the Troika Apocalyptica series - complete - 5414 words.  Chemical AU, post-Chemical - Tom, Anja, Chris, Pop, Cara, and Tom & Anja’s two babies have all survived the zombie outbreak, hunkered down in the cabin in Big Bear.  But Tom sends Anja and the two little ones away with Chris when the mountain is overrun with the undead.  Will they find each other alive when it’s all over?  WARNINGS:  Suspense, mild violence.  *MATURE*

Meet Me In Phoenix - Part 2 of Troika Apocalyptica - incomplete - Characters: Tom, Anja, Pop, Chris, Cara.   Chemical AU in which Tom & company survive a zombie apocalypse, are separated, and embark on a cross country quest to find each other again.  WARNINGS:  language and some sexual references.  *MATURE*

Wolfsbane -  complete - 1826 words.  Tom/Anja Chemical AU side story.  Assassins in love.  Tom and Anja are agents assigned to bump each other off, if they can stop seducing each other long enough to pull the trigger.  WARNINGS:  Language, sex, mild violence.

Other TH Original Characters:

Burn -  complete (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Would You Like To Play A Game? -  complete  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Golden Boy - incomplete  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Awakening -  complete - RPF -  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Beautiful Disaster -  complete  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Dandelion Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6  - complete (will fill in summary ASAP)

Broken Petals - A Magnus Martinsson fic - incomplete

Yes Please, Magnus - Magnus Martinsson fic - complete

Weekly Meetings of The Most Useless Muses in The History of Fanfiction - incomplete - 23,802 words, 22 chapters.  Pretty much what it sounds like.  Characters - all of them.  WARNINGS:  All of them.

Adam - Only Lovers Left Alive

Sanguine -  complete - 28,795 words, 16 chapters.  Main character - Adam.  Secondary characters - Selina, Eve.  Romance/mystery.  WARNINGS:  Very explicit sex and violence, language, vampirism, blood, pregnancy, rape.  A redemption tale twisted up in an epic love story between a vampire and a mortal who break a few rules and make a few of their own in the process.  *EXPLICIT*

(Adam is also a prominent character in JACK MONTAGUE and THE GUCCI INCIDENT)

Thomas Oakley - Unrelated

Sleep -  complete - 1471 words.  WARNINGS:  Sex and language.  Thomas Oakley is chosen for a college sleep studies program.  Too bad the only thing that puts him to sleep is an orgasm.  *MATURE*

Tom Hiddleston - Jaguar Promo

The Way of The Cat -  complete (summary will be filled in ASAP)

Andrew Hozier-Byrne

THE TALIESIN SERIES

Part 1 - Nobody -  complete - 3293 words.  Romance/fantasy.  WARNINGS: character death, raunchy language, implied sex, implied drug use.  A perpetually reincarnating Celtic deity (Andrew Hozier-Byrne) just won’t stop causing problems for the Pantheon, no matter how many times they reboot him and his lover.  Loosely based on the song.  *MATURE*

Part 2 - Shrine Of Your Lies - WIP - 1011 words, 2/15 chapters, ongoing.  Romance/fantasy.  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, some language, some implied violence.  Taliesin (Andrew Hozier-Byrne) and his lover have been reincarnated again, this time without any memory of who they are - or of each other.  Fate won’t let them wander for long though and their paths cross over two parallel lifetimes.  *MATURE*

(Andrew Hozier-Byrne is also a prominent character in THE DEPARTMENT)

Can Yaman

Kiz Yan Kapi - The Girl Next Door - WIP - 5533 words, 3/10 chapters  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Chris Hemworth

Thor’s Beard -  complete - 3163 words (Part 2 of Forgotten Gods, side story to Hammer Of The Gods).  WARNINGS:  Explicit sex, language.  Pete from HoTG hooks up with Jake’s older sister and a battery operated device.  *EXPLICIT*

See You After The Apocalypse - see above under The Chemical Prehistories

Allan Hawco

A Wife For Mister Brown -  complete  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

Et Tu, Mister Brown? -  complete  (will fill in this summary ASAP)

PUBLISHED BOOKS

All of the following are available at amazon.com:

Sgaile Leannan - Rewritten from AO3 version with changes/additions.  Sex, language, adult situations.  *EXPLICIT*

Samhach Mhiannan - Rewritten from AO3 version with some changes/additions.  Sex, language, adult situations.  *EXPLICIT*

Na Binne an Leann - Rewritten from AO3 version with minor changes/additions.  Sex, language, adult situations.  *EXPLICIT*

Chemical Volume One - Rewritten from AO3 with major changes/additions.  Sex, language, adult situations, references to past child abuse.  *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*

Chemical Volume Two - Rewritten from AO3 with major changes/additions (includes the final three chapters, ending, and epilogue that are not included in the AO3 version).  Sex, language, adult situations, references to past child abuse.  *EXTREMELY EXPLICIT*

Here And There - Book One of The Strada Series - not associated with any AO3 fics.  Sex, language, violence.  Paranormal romance.  A man falls out of the sky - literally - and Holly’s quiet existence goes all kinds of sideways when his otherworldly nemesis follows and the two of them end up in her bed...and inextricably in her life.  *EXPLICIT*

The Carmichael Addendum - not associated with any AO3 fics.  Sex, language, violence.  Paranormal/supernatural romance.  Clarissa is one of a final few slayers left in a world where the monsters have quietly retreated into myth - but the local library has started spitting immortals and werewolves out through a rift in the Genealogy section, and it’s time for the last two slayers - Clarissa and her ex-husband Kaine - to come out of retirement.  *EXPLICIT*

*All of the above are also available in Kindle format

Complete officially published works

[morbid-n-macabre]

Tommy Lynn Sells was one of America's worst serial killers. He killed men, women, little boys and girls alike; he often gained entrance to a victim's home through a window. He seemed to enjoy murdering mothers and their children, but he had no scruples against ended complete families. Some of these victims were sex workers, others were killed during drug deals gone wrong; a few were trying to help him, one was a mom who pissed him off in passing so he followed her home to exact his revenge. Tommy has 22 confirmed kills, though it's believed his true body count is higher than seventy. He was a drifter who usually left town before his victim was ever discovered, so he got away with killing for decades. I can't detail every known murder here but I'll tell you about some of his worst and a bit of this serial killer's childhood.

Tommy had a terrible upbringing. His mother's top priority was not her several children; no, Nina was much more concerned with her own happiness. At 18 months of age Tommy and his twin sister, Tammy Jean, came down with meningitis; little Tammy did not survive. At around 2 years of age, Nina gave her son up, sent him to be raised by his Aunt Bonnie. After raising the boy for 3 years, Bonnie decided to adopt her nephew. Nina was dead set against this, and Tommy was forced to forsake the only stable home he would ever know to live with his mother. He didn't have a steady father figure, so when a man named Willis Clark took interest in her child, Nina was pleased. Tommy spent many nights at this man's house, a man who was later convicted of pedophilia. Tommy was abusing alcohol by the tender age of 7, his mother abandoned him at 13, and at 16 he had already committed murder. He was arrested multiple times in between killings for petty crimes such as car theft, drugs, public drunkenness, etc. but was always released to kill again.

Our killer traveled via stolen cars, hitchhiking, or hopping trains; he survived by taking any sort of work he could get. In July of 1985, Tommy was working with a carnival; this is how he met 35 year old Ena Cordt, a mother who had been spending the day with her little boy, Rory. Ena asked the carnie to come back to her place for the night, and of course Tommy obliged. Before the sun came up, Ena had been beaten to death with a baseball bat, and 4 year old Rory suffered that same horrific fate.

In January of 1988 Keith Dardeen tried to help Tommy; the kind man offered his future killer a ride and graciously brought him home for supper. As we all know, few good deeds go unpunished; Tommy murdered the man, then turned his attention on Keith's family. He beat 3 year old Pete to death with a hammer, then sexually assaulted Keith's wife, Elaine. This mother was pregnant, and the trauma of these unfolding events threw her into labor. When the baby was born, Tommy beat both mother and her brand new baby to death with a baseball bat; before leaving, Tommy made sure to assault Elaine one last time with his bat. I mean, words escape me; can you imagine Elaine's horror?

In May of 1992, Tommy was arrested for the attack of a 20 year old woman named Fabienne Witherspoon; Tommy had been carrying a sign begging for food and Fabienne was a good hearted woman willing help a hungry homeless man. For her kindness she was stabbed 18 times, beaten, and repeatedly raped. Somehow this victim survived, and bravely testified against her attacker in court; Tommy claimed that the sex was consensual and the attack was in self defense! Fabienne would later say how awful this experience was, that she was treated like scum in court; she was victim blamed and shamed after fighting for her life! Little did the court know that Fabinne had survived a serial killer; Tommy served just 5 years for what he did to this young woman, and within months of his release this serial was actively killing again.

Julie Harper is the woman I mentioned in the first paragraph, she made the mistake of arguing with Tommy at a gas station on on October 13th of 1997. The savage killer followed this lady back to her home, entered her residence in the middle of the night, and murdered Julie's 10 year old son! Joel Kirkpatrick was stabbed to death as he lay sleeping in his bed; police fingered the child's mother for this vicious slaying and Julie was convicted of her son's murder! Julie was convicted and sentenced to 65 years incarceration, and she was not released until Tommy confessed a couple years later. It's any and every mother's worst nightmare come true!

This serial's final attack was on New Years Eve of 1999, in Del Rio, Texas. Krystal Surles was just 10 years old when she and her 7 year old sister went to a sleepover birthday party at 13 year old Katie Harris' house. Katie's dad, Terry Harris, knew Tommy, but father was not at home on this particular night; Mrs. Harris was alone with a house full of 5 kids. In the early morning hours, Tommy entered the mobile home armed with a knife. The killer made a beeline for the girl's bedroom where they were sleeping on bunk beds. Tommy sexually assaulted young Katie, stabbed her 16 times, and slit her throat; then he noticed Krystal, and he slashed her throat as well. The intelligent young girl played dead, and her attacker finally left the home. Believing herself to be the only person alive in the house, she summoned up all of her strength and ran to a neighbor's house for help.

Thankfully our heroine was mistaken, there were survivors; it's really a stroke of luck that her baby sister had survived. Sister had begged and pleaded to sleep in the bedroom with the older girls that night, she'd even cried herself to sleep; had the 7 year old been allowed, there surely would've been a massacre that night.

Krystal was taken to the hospital and her life was saved. Since her throat had been deeply slashed, the girl couldn't speak; Krystal communicated with investigators by writing notes. She told them everything they needed to catch this killer; the 10 year old was able to give them a composite sketch and even picked Tommy's picture out of a photo lineup! Within days of the attack, thanks to this brave, heroic, amazing little girl, one of the most diabolical serial killers in American history was finally stopped for good.

Krystal testified against Tommy at trial, and the killer was sentenced to death. Tommy Lynn Sells was executed by lethal injection in 2014.

There are so many more victims who I didn't mention, I could write about this all day. There's an abundance of info on this one, as well as the trial transcripts if you're interested. If you do decide to check them out, consider yourself warned as the details are nothing short of nightmarish.

*That blood stained note which reads "will I live"? It doesn't matter how many times I see it, the tears well up. That poor kid, bless her!

[nikitasbt]

Human, Space, Time and Human (인간, 공간, 시간 그리고 인간, 2018) by Kim Ki-duk

Human, Space, Time and Human by Kim Ki-duk is an ominous and bleak Homo homini lupus est sentence to the humanity, a kind of condemnation the films of Bela Tarr or Alexey German’s Hard to be a God have been proclaiming.

The human existence can be comprehended following the rise of depravity and exploration of the moral decay of the individuals resulting in the conclusion the humans are the world’s parasites and pests. The only hope for the bright future is in the shoots the plants put out as an allegory to the potentially innocent lives of the newborn. However, when the time of harvest comes over the new generations appear being unable to overcome the cruel human nature and people find themselves getting pleasure in suppressing and slaughtering the nature and eventually their own kind.

A disturbing and distressing Korean film of Kim Ki-duk is a misanthropic allegory of the human’s entity depicting the decline of humankind, extreme misogyny, cruelty, and inevitable supremacy of instincts and violence over the bright qualities and features the humans have been struggling to develop within the centuries.

The latest film of Kim Ki-duk contains many references to his previous works and even iterations. The film’s title resembles one of the most acclaimed works of Korean arthouse master Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring (2003). The structure and plot development are also similar – the film is divided into several parts putting a loop in the end. While this plot loop in 2003 masterpiece was just saying the humans are meant to commit the same mistakes and experience love, hatred,  and failures, the message of Human, Space, Time and Human is very bleak and misanthropic. The society has always been decaying, and individuals cannot find their way through. After immersing into space and time dominated by Homo Sapiens, every newborn baby would become human whose life is full of sins, intolerance, and cruelty. Another obvious link to previous works of Kim Ki-duk is in the space where the film is set: just like Hwal (The Bowman) the whole story takes place on the ship, and we see no other locations but the ship where the characters are trapped. The whole world of protagonists is squeezed into this limited space with no laws and rules the society stands upon. Though, again the idea of this film differs from what the viewers had seen in Hwal. Human, Space, Time and Human surprisingly simplifies the cinematic language of Kim Ki-duk. Though the whole film is an allegory and contains a number of allusions just like Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring, everything here is pretty much straightforward. Kim Ki-duk’s best arthouse features are intellectual and can be hard to comprehend due to ambiguous themes and demanding conventions the director comes up with. In this film, the idea is on the surface, and the viewers collide with clichéd characters. It is obvious where the villains are and who is here to oppose them. Though, it ends up with everybody being some sort of villain. The film’s Bible references are also quite transparent, though well-placed not far-fetched. Simplification of the cinematic system of Kim Ki-duk makes him more available to the audience, yet the film is something that would alienate many viewers due to disturbing violence and naturalism.

The first part of the film entitled Human portrays the group of travelers on an old warship embarking for 7-days cruise (this 7-days-story is the first Bible reference). The narration doesn’t explain why these different people travel on the same ship and where they are heading. It is also not explained why the so-called cruiser is packed with sex workers and all sorts of perverts. Perhaps, that’s the way the narration intends to depict society. This first part illustrates the class difference, conflicts between bandits and seemingly decent people, and abusing of power the senator (Lee Sung-jae) possesses on this ship. With the protection of a group of hired villains, he sets himself and his son in a privileged position which irritates the other passengers. Upon raising their voice seeking some equality in rights on the cruiser, passengers collide with the extreme violence of gangsters having no fear or shame in the actions with approval of their patron. Apparently, this leads to no good.

In no time, the ship becomes a scene of disturbing cruelty. The main female character whose name is never mentioned (portrayed by Mina Fujii) is raped by almost every significant male character including senator. His son is shown as a kind of positive character initially who was not fond of the privileges he is meant to enjoy. However, when he finds an unconscious woman in his cabin after his father leaves he rapes her too without any sympathy or sentiments. Meanwhile, the girl’s boyfriend is stubbed and killed and the other woman is also raped by another gang. There is nobody standing by the side of women, and we see the hidden misogyny going beyond control in every man. Also, there are several sex workers on the ship who sell themselves and close their eyes as they are treated as junk. Even those men who could be possibly against it find themselves being unable to cope with the sexual lust and hidden predilection for abuse of the women. The message of this part is that the men have never been able to suppress their beastly instincts towards women, and this will never change. Being put into the situation where the women are abused, the men choose to be a part of it despite showing some intentions to oppose it. Those who actually oppose it, get killed. These rape scenes are really heavy, disturbing and hard to watch. I can understand people who have stopped watching Human, Space, Time and Human at this point. However, the film would later become even nastier. An isolated group of people now sinks in drug abuse, gang rapes, assaults, cruelty, and unfair treatment of each other from the position of power. The main female protagonist is shown as the martyr, a kind of innocent Madonna. Meanwhile, this rise of depravity is being observed by a mute mysterious old man who resembles a character of an old Buddhist monk from Kim Ki-duk’s masterpiece Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring. This is probably the only character in the film who has no intentions to rape anybody (not counting on a character played by Joe Odegiri who is killed at the beginning of the film after his girlfriend’s rape). The old man does nothing, but scrabbles dirt and remains of food collecting it in cups, and it seems like he has something in his mind on what’s going on around him.

The second part entitled Space begins next morning when the passengers and crew realize the ship is now floating high in the sky, and they can see no terrain or sea. Kim Ki-duk never explains what happened as everything from now has to be taken as an allegory to human existence and history. As the ship runs out provision, all the humans show their real face trying to find the way to survive. Nobody knows what’s happening, and those who have guns and grenades are reigning. Slowly people get an idea all of them would die of starvation on this ship. The senator who is in control of all provision is the first realizing it, and he decides to maintain his high status as death approaches. First, he orders to distribute less food to the other passengers, then he stops feeding them at all, repels the attempts of uprising and eventually kills almost everybody with his own hands.

The people in extreme situation turn into the beasts very fast, and there are no positive characters in this setup. It is not something original in the film of Kim Ki-duk, but he has his own view on this survival. Those who possess power retain an excessive use of it, while the others are not able to rise up and left to fight with each other. The female protagonists takes side from the events befriending the mute old man who plants the vegetables and fruits in the underdeck bunker. He even has a few chickens there are yet to start laying the eggs. The woman thinks this is madness as it will take months to get the yield, though the old man keeps looking after his shoots of plants. At the same time, people start killing each other, and their corrupted morality turns them more and more violent. The senator’s son wonders if there is a point of attempts to survive in such conditions. An old man acting as the personification of God explains it with his actions to the girl: the point is to maintain the new life which is being conceived. The symbol of this life is in the shoots he looks after. But soon the girl realizes she gets pregnant after being raped. The old man doesn’t let her do any harm to the child, and she understands this baby is the only reason to survive as it brings the new life which is still innocent while being in the woman’s womb. An old man convinces this baby is a result of divine intervention. At some point, the senator’s son tries to express his sympathy to this girl he raped and feels sorry for what she’s been through. He even tries to oppose his own father and gangsters, but he cannot do much. Later, the senator is killed, and the gang leader for some time becomes the only power on the ship. The girl saves a senator’s son life in a fray with a gang leader taking his promise to take care of her and child. But as he becomes mad of starvation he forgets about any decency ending up raping a pregnant woman again and eating a piece of her flesh. The third chapter Time is probably the most disturbing and disgusting as the survivors fall into cannibalism. Moreover, the old man also takes his part dismembering the corpses preserving the flesh and grinding their bones to use it for planting more shoots. He starts planting the shoots on the bodies of those who had fell victims of this madness. Though these heavy scenes are present here in abundance, at some point I ceased concentrating on this naturalism just taking it as allegory. Homo homini lupus est. People live feasting on other’s flesh, and they don’t do it literally because of law and legal instruments restraining them. When the people’s hands are not tied with any laws and they have to survive they end up like the passengers of the ship. This is the misanthropic message of Human, Space, Time and Human which is probably one of Kim Ki-duk’s conclusions on the nature of the human entity.

There is no God – says the senator at some point despite finding himself drifting in the air on the warship. At the end of the third chapter, an old man who acts like God disappears living the bloody footprints forming a sign of infinity on the deck. He also leaves some flesh, and two last survivors would have to decide who is going to keep living. Eventually, a woman kills the senator’s son to save a chicken he intended to eat. The martyr remains the last living, and she still carries the baby in her womb representing the continuation of life and acting as a symbol of hope. Soon we see the first old man’s vegetables and fruits growing out, and chickens laying eggs.

The last chapter of the film is again entitled Human. It’s time for a loop to close. At first, we see a child and his mother who are the last survivors on the ship and maybe in the whole world. The ship now resembles Eden as it is covered with plants, trees, and gardens growing up from the bones of those who passed away years ago. The little boy is growing up, and he is the symbol of new life. As there are only two people living, I anticipated the story is going to end up with something disturbing it came from. And in the last scene, we see an adult who had found a pistol and started developing violence. He is groping for discovering his real hidden nature and this is not an innocent child anymore. He would be a grown-up man soon who is meant to repeat the fate of other humans. The boundless violence and lust to abuse and suppress lives within him. The film closes with the boy chasing his mother in an attempt to rape her, as the other “humans” on the ship used to do. Then suddenly Kim Ki-duk gives a film Tarkovsky’s Solaris-like ending showing the ship floating from above in the endless space. The divine intervention results in the birth of another corrupt human and the film’s conclusion is a sentence to the humankind. Humans cannot overcome their cruel and abusive nature, they can only hide it for some time. Whenever they get a chance, they would show off their face, sins, and lusts. The idea of Kin Ki-duk’s film is certainly not something new, but it marks a milestone of his career. An author of many provocative features ends up making one of his bleakest film with a transparent verdict on the nature of humanity. Human, Space, Time and Human leaves humans with no hope for change.

The last film of Kim Ki-duk is extremely violent yet it is pretty much into life, from my point of view. The photography is quite delightful making it visually entertaining, not speaking of an abundance of ugly and heavily disturbing scenes of people killing, eviscerating, raping, and eating each other. Though, probably there is no way to get rid of these scenes in such film. The symbolism and multiple religious references which are easy to read appear to be an interesting addition to this carousel of insane violence and depravity. The performances of Lee Sung-jae as senator and Ahn Sung-ki as old man are great, but the real star of Human, Space, Time and Human is Mina Fujii portraying the lead female character whose name is never mentioned. Despite a very dark message and many disturbing and disgusting scenes, Human, Space, Time and Human had become the most remarkable Kim Ki-Duk’s film during the last few years.

This is probably not a film one would recommend to anybody to watch. Kim Ki-duk’s reputation becomes more and more controversial, especially with the recent allegations of sexual harassment against him. It is hard to imagine how the Korean director comes up with such a bizarre material so consistently throughout his career. There were the exceptions such as fantastic 3-iron, Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring and even recent 2016 film The Net. However, this time Kim Ki-duk is back to disturbing content which is thought-provoking but very difficult to digest. It is disgusting, but realistic at the same time, and somehow the film might have an enthralling effect. However, I doubt this is something the audience should be looking for in the cinema.

[rosefyrefyre]

Sorry to give you negativity here, I really enjoy your fics and the time you put into such thoughtful stories. I just think in unhinged, if Katniss was truly dealing with that kind of trauma where she can't even look at Darius's uniform without having a reaction then she would do absolutely anything to not be forced to repeat the tramatic event. She wouldn't be thinking she didn't want to hurt Darius, she would take his offer or a counter offer.

(2) I get that you want her in a tough spot but there’s a miss here. I too have suffered a traumatic experience and in that moment of panic, thinking it could happen again I would do ANYTHING not to have to put myself in a similar situation ever again.

(3) She needs time to heal but she wouldn’t actually start healing fully until she was taken out of the potential situation again. She would be defensive, On high alert and overly paranoid for Prim and herself. I’m sorry I’m bringing this up, I don’t mean to be annoying, i just think you miss a few elements of trauma. Thank you for your time.

One of these messages came through not anon, but out of respect for what the intent was, we’ve removed the name and simply replied to the anon.

Thank you for your critical review of Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged.  We understand this couldn’t have been easy for you as a survivor of sexual abuse.

Trigger warning: behind the cut there is a lot of discussion of sexual assault and trauma.  If you don’t feel comfortable reading, please do not.

So this is where I, Rose, need to level with you.  I have no experience with this.  That being said, I’ve shared the ask with FanficAllergy, who does, but doesn’t have a tumblr.  So what you’re about to read is her response.

So, each person reacts to trauma and stress differently.  Katniss’s reactions to things are how I reacted when this happened to me.  Here’s a little backstory.  When I was fourteen, the first guy I officially dated stalked me and attempted to rape me.  The only reason he didn’t succeed in raping me was because I got a lucky kick in. (I was later raped by a different boyfriend [I woke up to him having sex with me - which he thought was sexy and I really disagreed because I didn’t consent to that ahead of time], but that circumstance was very different and not nearly as violent or traumatic. By that point, I had coping mechanisms. And I was in a different place socially.)

Mike was popular.  I wasn’t.  Mike had power in the school.  I didn’t.  When I informed the school of what happened, the school social worker asked me “Why don’t you like Mike?  Don’t you think he’s cute?”

Mike was Donaldson.  Mike’s violence escalated to the point where his parents had him committed because he was harming himself and harming others.  I was blamed for that by the popular kids at school.  Even after he was committed, his stalking didn’t cease.  He’d call me regularly from the center, leaving voicemails, including “I used to love you.  I wanted to marry you.  But now I don’t want to do that.  I just want to fuck you.”

About a month after Mike’s commitment, he escaped from the private center for troubled people he was confined at.  This place was on the other end of town.  I remember being woken up by the cops banging on our door to tell us that Mike had escaped.  Apparently he’d made threats against me.  When they caught him, he was less than a block from my house.

While all of this was going on, two other guys came into my life.  Nick and Bill.  Nick was like Darius; he too was a popular kid in school.  He even was on the shortlist for Homecoming court.  He had power.  He wanted to date me.  Nick and Mike looked a lot alike. Both were track athletes. Nick was considered cute. Nick was also part of the drama club. Bill?  He was sweet and patient and kind.  He was part of the nerd trust.  Everybody liked him, but he wasn’t really popular or unpopular.  Bill was stocky. Overweight. Both of them wanted to date me.  Both of them, in their own way, liked me/loved me.

While all of this was going on, I could barely stand to be touched.  I couldn’t handle anybody coming up behind me - I still don’t do well with it.  I feared the sound of the telephone, because every call (just like in Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged, every knock of the door) was my stalker until proven otherwise.  It didn’t stop after Mike was sent away out of state.  It didn’t stop after I ran into him just three years ago at my church, right around the time when we started writing Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged. Mike still haunts me, but I refuse to let him dictate my life and my feelings.

I’ve often stated Katniss is me, and for those people who know me well, they agree.  But Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged Katniss?  She is me.  Her reactions to Darius’s uniforms were my reactions to Nick and his expectations of dating, which were more in line with what Darius expected. He wanted to kiss me. I wasn’t ready for that. He wanted to fool around. He let it be known that sex was on the table. Nick was a sweet guy, but he took the lead in the relationship like Darius did. If I had met Nick before I met Mike, this would be a very different story. And in a very real way, Nick saved me, just like Darius saved Katniss.  In order to escape from Mike before he got committed, I weirdly ended up involved in the drama club.  As I mentioned before, Nick was part of the drama club.  Nick rallied the drama club seniors and juniors into protecting me.  They gave me rides home from school, they looked out for me in between classes, they made Mike go away and didn’t let him follow me.  As a random note, one of the people who helped protect me was the guy who went on to write American Pie.  So the people from American Pie?  The guys and girls you see them partying with and doing stuff with?  Those were the kids who were, at the same time, protecting me, a low unpopular freshman, from my stalker.  Much like the other Peacekeepers that Darius rallies to protect Katniss.

But back to Katniss and Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged.  Her reactions to Peeta were my reactions to Bill.  It’s thanks to Bill that I didn’t die, and I’m not using hyperbole.  It’s thanks to Bill that I had the strength to let Nick down while still remaining a friend.  And we did remain friends, all the way up until he graduated.  I still think of Nick with a smile on my face.

I completely agree with you that Katniss needs time to heal.  Bill gave me that time, while at the same time letting me know that I was desirable and wanted, but also safe with him.  He let me set the pace of our relationship, and let me tell you, I burned hot and cold with him.  For about a year and a half, until he graduated, I burned hot and cold with Bill, and if circumstances had been different, Bill and I could have ended up together.  Long distance relationships suck, yo.  Especially when you’re sixteen and living in the early 90s.

I didn’t have a choice about putting myself back into a similar situation ever again.  Where my attempted rape took place was literally only a couple of houses away from my own home.  My high school was one giant trigger.  There was the stairway where Mike cornered me and one of my friends had to physically extricate me from his grasp.  There were the lockers that people used to throw other kids into me at.  There were the classrooms that Mike used to hang out in, waiting, coming closer and closer just to catch a glimpse of me.  Changing schools wasn’t an option, not in this location.  So I had to learn how to deal.  I had to learn how to survive.

I understand your point about being hypervigilant, and Katniss certainly is.  If you’re not seeing that, it’s because for me to describe what it’s like to be hypervigilant is actually traumatic.  Because I have to relive what it’s like to go through that in order to describe it.  And I don’t think any fanfic is worth my mental health.  So I’m doing my best.

One thing about Katniss and myself is that both of us have the extreme ability to compartmentalize our life.  When we’re in the middle of a crisis - which Katniss is right now, do not think otherwise, what with her mother and the food situation - what both Katniss and I do is we focus on the immediate, on what’s needed to survive the next minute, the next hour, the next day.  And then after will we allow ourselves to break down.  Katniss has not had the opportunity to break down.  I didn’t fully break down until I was out of high school, because high school was essentially one giant crisis for me that I couldn’t escape.  Every time I reached out for help - to my psychologist, to the school - I got told that Mike, and then later the bullies that made my life miserable, were more important than I was.  I lived essentially on high alert and in trauma until I graduated.  Let’s just say that my freshman year of college was a complete and utter disaster.

So if we’re not showing the trauma, it’s because I, FanficAllergy as one of the authors, can only show so much before I can’t deal with it.  And that’s the way it’s going to be.

Rose mentioned this as we were typing this up, but in a very real way, I use fanfic as a form of therapy.  Damaged, Broken, and Unhinged is my therapy for running into Mike again at my church and essentially being forced to relive everything that happened to me in high school.  I’ve written other fics that are essentially therapy for when something bad happens.  A good example is The Parting Glass, which was me dealing with the very sudden death of one my longtime friends, Big Danny T.

I really appreciate that you like our works, and I really appreciate you having the bravery to speak up.  But on this instance, I am going to put my foot down.  This is a fanfic.  This is something I do for fun.  For free.  I don’t owe anyone my trauma, and no one has the right to expect me to go through and relive what was essentially the worst time in my life beyond which I’m willing to share.  And that includes my emotions and reactions of that time.

Thank you for understanding this, and I’m really sorry that my experience doesn’t jive with your experience.  But it’s something my psychologist said: each person reacts to trauma differently.  Each person’s emotions and reactions are going to be different.  What one person goes through is not going to be what another person goes through.  If you want to see this in action, I really recommend you check out I Am Evidence, an HBO documentary about the untested rape kits and how law enforcement treats rape victims.  It might open your eyes.

Note from Rose: while I agree that Katniss will do a hell of a lot to avoid rape happening again, a hell of a lot isn’t anything.  And while Darius can protect her from everyone else, the one person Darius can’t protect her from… is Darius.  She’s seeing his similarities to Donaldson as much as his differences, and he’s making it clear he wants sex eventually.  She’s not ready or willing.  It has to be on her terms at this point.  So she’s saying no.  It’s the choice she has to make for her sanity and to be able to continue to function and not let herself die.  It’s the choice FanficAllergy made with Nick - not to be with him, as nice as he was, because she couldn’t divorce herself from the similarities.  

We hope our readers understand.

And we respectfully request that you not reblog this post.  Thank you.

[nancydhooper]

Behind Closed Doors: The Traumas of Domestic Work in the U.S.

Like other essential workers, domestic workers are bearing the brunt of the COVID-19 pandemic without the luxury of being able to telework, social distance, or even take a sick day. They also face unique and challenging circumstances due to the nature of their work, which is undervalued and under-regulated by the U.S. government. As a result, domestic workers often endure horrific abuses that go unchecked. Many are brought to the U.S. by employers promising a better life, only to find themselves subjected to forced labor, denied wages, and threatened with deportation. 

Today, the ACLU joins a coalition of workers’ rights organizations calling on the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights to acknowledge and address the U.S. government’s failure to protect the rights of domestic workers. These workers are overwhelmingly women of color and/or migrants, and include house cleaners, nannies, caregivers, and others who work out of public view and in their employers’ homes. Below, four domestic workers explain in their own words the all too common abuses that continue unheeded because of the government’s failure to act.

FAINESS

My trafficker was a Malawian diplomat to the U.S. I had known her for years back home in Malawi, where I worked for her as a nanny before coming here. When she was stationed in D.C., she asked me to come with her, promising better opportunities — I could get an education, get a better job, get out and see the world. As a young person, what else could you want? She gave me a contract and travel documents and rushed me to sign them even though I could not speak or understand English at the time. After I was granted an A3 visa, which is a special visa for diplomats’ domestic workers, we left for the U.S., where we moved into a home in a beautiful neighborhood in Silver Spring, Maryland. 

Everything changed when we got to the U.S. My trafficker was no longer the person I knew in Malawi — she turned into a tiger. She forced me to work more than 16 hours per day for less than 40 cents per hour, cooking and cleaning and doing laundry, even ironing the family’s underwear. Who does that?

I lived in my trafficker’s home, but not as an equal. I lived like a slave. She made me sleep on the basement floor and forbade me from using any of the family’s soaps or other items, so I would not “contaminate” their belongings. She cut my phone access, so I was not able to communicate with my family at all for three years. I was refused medical care when I was sick. The only food I could eat were leftover scraps. Many times, I had to watch the family eat while I was starving and malnourished. 

While I lived there, I was raped by a family friend. I could not receive any help because I did not speak English and did not know what to do. Whenever I tried talking to my trafficker about anything, she would call me ungrateful because she had taken me from my poor home village. Often, she would say “I can do anything I want, I’m a diplomat, I have immunity.” She also accused me of sleeping with her boyfriend. 

The pain was too much. I was dying slowly, and I could not take it anymore. I wanted to die, but I knew that if I died in that house, my trafficker would throw my body in a dumpster and no one would ever find out. So I thought maybe, if I die in the street, people will find me and my family will learn of my death, maybe on the news. 

One day, I found my passport and snuck out of the house through the garage. I was so thin, I managed to squeeze myself through the gap beneath the garage door. Then I ran away, leaving everything behind. 

Today, I am a survivor. What happened to me doesn’t define me. While I still have not overcome my traumas 100 percent, I empowered myself through learning about who I am, my rights, and trafficking laws. I learned that trafficking is not just sex trafficking, and it was labor trafficking that brought me to the U.S. and entrapped me. Now I am a leader. I am a member of the National Survivor Network and a board member of the Survivor Alliance. I have spoken before Congress and at conferences. I work alongside NGOs to change policies, including a labor statute in Maryland that I advocated for. 

Still, I am angry that domestic workers are invisible to many people. The whole time I was suffering, nobody saw me. I remember shoveling snow in my trafficker’s driveway, without gloves, boots, or warm clothes, watching cars pass as everybody missed those red flags.

It’s hard to identify trafficking of domestic workers since it usually happens behind closed doors, but the community should learn how to identify these situations and hold labor traffickers accountable. Domestic workers deserve fair treatment, decent pay, and benefits. The government, Congress, and our communities need to make sure survivors always have a seat at the table. Nothing about us, without us. It’s our pain and our story. You cannot fight trafficking without survivors, period.

CARLOS

When I first came to the U.S., I didn’t realize I was being trafficked or that my working conditions were not normal. I had come here for the same reason as a lot of Filipinos — a simple dream, especially as a father, to bring my family out of poverty. I didn’t know about my rights. All I knew is that I came here to work. I was just so happy and excited to be in America. 

Before I came here, an employment agency in the Philippines found me a job as a cook at a country club in Florida. I had to pay them $3,000 just for all the paperwork to get here. Once I arrived, I stayed in a small house with a bunch of other workers, about six or seven of us in each room. I thought it was all normal. I believed in the lies my employers told me about the contract, the salary, the house, the visa. They told us we would get green cards and be able to bring our families here. 

After working for a few months in Florida, they moved us to another country club in Arkansas. They told us our visas had expired, so there was no contract and no paycheck, just a cash advance of $500. My pay was only enough to cover my basic needs in the U.S. I had no money left over to send back home to my family. 

They threatened that if we tried to leave, they would call the police and report us to immigration. The treatment was so bad that some of us ran away anyway, but I was too afraid of being deported. I said to myself, I’m here in America for my family. They were still suffering so much to get food on the table. All they could afford to eat was rice and soy sauce.

One night I decided to do it. I got on a Greyhound bus at 3 or 4 a.m., with just my passport and $500 in my pocket, and traveled from Arkansas to Texas, where I stayed with my aunt for a little while until my uncle found me a job in California. I took that job, but it ended shortly after. I had no work for three months. I felt homeless and that I had ruined my family. That’s when I became an alcoholic. I wanted to be drunk all the time, to fall asleep and forget everything that had happened in America. Every time I try to remember everything, it all comes back to me, all the depression and fear. 

I thought about going home, but I knew I could not go back to the Philippines for a very long time. I told myself I was already here and that I needed to be patient. Back home we call America the land of opportunity. At that moment, I didn’t know if I could call America that, but I never surrendered or stopped looking for a job. I kept fighting for my family. The only thing I had to hold onto was my faith. I prayed that one day it would all be okay. 

My life restarted again when I found a job as a cook and housekeeper in a big house in Beverly Hills. Now I am in another job, working as a caregiver. I still have anxiety every time I see police and fear being caught. I still have trouble sleeping. But I got help for substance abuse and treatment for my depression and anxiety. Today, the trauma is still there, but it’s not as heavy anymore.

It has been 13 years since I was home in the Philippines. I still have hope to bring my family here and get a fresh start. I don’t want what happened to me to happen to my children. 

SAM

For me, coming to the U.S. was the realization of a dream, not only for myself but for my family. I was a physical therapist in the Philippines so I was really happy when an employment agency got me a job doing the same work in the U.S. But when I got here, it was nothing like they promised. We were thrown into a hotel in a rough neighborhood. There was no work, no visit to the jobsite, no employer nor a representative who came to welcome us and see how we were doing. We were left on our own. We survived for 14 days eating noodles from the 99 cent store.

I endured the treatment because I had no choice and I didn’t know the laws in the U.S. It was tormenting and traumatic being in a foreign land with no knowledge of the laws, specifically laws about employment and immigration. I also didn’t know before I came that I would have very, very limited job choices as an undocumented immigrant resulting from my trafficking. Living in fear of being deported was stressful and suffocating. Even more because I cannot afford insurance or medical care so I had to just take vitamins and pray to God, and by God’s grace I was able to stay well.

I learned a little from a childhood friend who has been a U.S. citizen for a long time and also works as a physical therapist. He told me that he learned about four physical therapists who had reported their agencies for violations of human trafficking and that they won their cases and got justice. At the same time, my Filipino values of perseverance and faith somehow deterred and delayed me from seeking help for myself. 

Information about domestic workers’ rights and human trafficking abuses should be readily available to immigrant communities. It should be easy for workers to contact authorities, even their local embassies, and get help. Labor rights should be plainly black and white and both employers and employees need to adhere to them. There should be a collaboration between the host country and the country of origin of trafficking victims so these predators are stopped from the very beginning. We must treat each other with respect and humanity. We are human beings too and not just nominal subjects for profiteering.

MELANIE

I came to the U.S. from the Philippines to support my family. One of my children had cerebral palsy and was prone to pneumonia, and was always in the hospital, which was expensive. I could not afford his treatment. So when I found an opportunity for a job abroad, I tried my luck and took it. 

An employment agency in the Philippines connected me to a job in a chicken factory in Washington State. To get here, I had to pay the agency $5,000 plus airfare. All the problems started when I arrived. The agency told me and other Filipino workers it would cover housing, but when we got there we found out we had to stay in another employee’s home for the first three weeks, and during that time we had to do her housekeeping and take care of her three children, on top of going to work at the factory. Finally they moved us to a housing unit. We were 20 people with one bathroom and no furniture. The women slept in the attic, about 10 of us. 

Working at the factory was difficult and dangerous. My job was to debone chicken with an electric sensor on a conveyor belt. We had to work fast, which made it hard to protect ourselves. Fingers were always being cut. There were also immigration raids so we were in constant fear of being caught and deported. I had a visa, but some of the other employees did not have papers. All of us were afraid.

After six months, the company let us go even though our contracts were for a year’s work. Some of my other coworkers from the Philippines were afraid they would lose their visas from being out of work, so they went home. I missed my family and wanted to go home, too. I wanted to provide for them but at the same time, I have to pay my debt. I am still paying off the loans I borrowed to pay the employment agency fees. 

In the Philippines, we have this idea that going to America will bring you a bright future. So even though I wanted to go home, I knew people would treat me like a failure if I did — I had been planning to bring my family there and I had failed. All of a sudden you’re back with nothing but debt. People think only criminals get deported. So I stayed. 

To get another job, I had to pay the agency a $500 processing fee and they placed me at a resort in Sedona, Arizona. Our living conditions were better there, but the work was physically exhausting. We worked in teams of two to clean 20 rooms per day. I got sick with high blood pressure and vertigo, which made it very difficult to continue working, but I didn’t go to a doctor because it was expensive and I didn’t know about insurance. I decided to resign, but when I told my employer, he threatened to deport me. I ended up staying for three months before I finally broke free. Then I started looking for another job, one that would not take a toll on my health.

My friend found me a job as a caregiver in California. That’s where I live now. I share a place with a senior who needed help paying rent. I spend most of my salary on phone cards calling home, and while the job is steady, the landlord threatened to evict me because I am not on the lease. California’s eviction moratorium has prevented that for now. 

I came here to support my family, but I am still trying to save up enough money to see them. My son passed away from his illness last year and I was not able to be there. Many times, I wished that I never came here, that I never had to go through what I did. Had I known that what my traffickers had promised were lies, I would have stayed in the Philippines in the first place. 

All I want as a domestic worker is recognition. Domestic work is seen as a lowly job but it’s a decent job and it’s vital to society. We should not be ignored. We are important.

There are potentially thousands of domestic workers living across the U.S. right now, who have been trafficked and forced into labor while being subjected to many of the same inequalities other essential workers face. In fact, COVID-19 has only laid bare the dangers and abuses of domestic work that long predate the pandemic: low wages (often below local minimum wages), overwork, unhonored or nonexistent contracts, employer surveillance, lack of access to healthcare, and more. 

The ACLU’s petition demands immediate action to address these abuses, and draws from the expertise of four individual domestic workers as well as workers’ rights organizations including National Domestic Workers Alliance, Adhikaar, Damayan Migrant Workers, Centro de los Derechos del Migrante, Human Trafficking Legal Center, Fe y Justicia, and Pilipino Workers Center.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8247012 https://www.aclu.org/news/immigrants-rights/behind-closed-doors-the-traumas-of-domestic-work-in-the-u-s via http://www.rssmix.com/