#every bait and switch was a work of arts indeed
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Seriously Louis and Taylor are the death of me.
Her Miss Americana was released on Netflix the day he released WALLS
His All Of Those Voices premiered in London the day she re-released Eye Open, Safe & Sound, If This Was A Movie, and also unlocked the vault for All Of The Girls You Loved Before
Please actually collaborate and release ONE THING together TOGETHER already
#Louis in Just Like You be like#but you only get half the story#(cuz Taylor got the other half)#please please tell me you see this too#eye open? literally FITF merch#safe & sound? a song for the movies they sent children to fight to the death. like a heavy handed analogy for music industry??#if this was *a movie*?? for Louis’s movie premier???#all of the girls you love before aka the song with this line??#When I think of all the makeup Fake love out on the town#i mean#i can’t put this into words adequately#but their creative work are definitely bouncing off each other like#you know I left a part of me back in New York#and i know you left a part of you in New York#Harry Styles is in the middle of it all#releasing songs about louis tomlinson on taylor swift’s hbd#that was not subtle#every bait and switch was a work of arts indeed#accidental 1D pun#LOUAYLOR
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Rip of the week: 24/06/2024
YO-Kai Direction
Season 7 Featured on: Now That's What I Call Quality! 3
Ripped by DonnieTheGuy
youtube
Y'know, funny story: a part of me genuinely thought I'd made this post already, and I had to double-check my posting archive three times over just to make sure. Because for as much Season 7 glazing as I've done on here, YO-Kai Direction is the kind of rip that absolutely deserves that love, as such a perfect rip from one of SiIva's most surprise breakout events in recent memory. Hell, last time I was covering the event in question, this rip only barely lost out from being covered instead of Beautiful Dreamer - but, in earnest, I believe two legends should indeed be able to coexist.
I've learned a lot from running this blog, but one of the biggest breakout surprises to me was learning just how incredible of a ripper DonnieTheGuy truly is. He joined the team around when I was paying less attention to the channel in general, and didn't exactly have a loud internet personality for me to learn of otherwise - yet rip by rip, from the blog's very first in Running Through Cookie Country to later-covered examples like Epic Rap Battles of History: Funny vs. Funnier and Remember when this song was the one related to toilets?, I began realizing just how powerful the guy is. A master chef that works in the background, even working to provide tons of assets to help people get into ripping themselves, sharing samples, samples and much more. But even if I wasn't aware of all that, even if I wasn't aware of just how much of a menace he is even off of SiIva when it comes to Twitter shitposts (the Digital Circuit edit trend where he made like 20+ edits on his own for instance), YO-Kai Direction would've likely convinced me on its own of DonnieTheGuy's prestige.
I recall saying to myself back when I wrote Beautiful Dreamer that one of the reasons that I picked it over YO-Kai Direction was just due to how much I'd already featured YO-KAI Disco, and Yousuke Yasui's music in general, on here. 【=3】e-MUNO Disco (vs. 音MAD AGENT) was effectively the rip that made me INVESTED invested in the art of high quality ripping, WA-HOO DISCO shows just how much Super Mario 64's sound can and has been pushed by the SiIva team, Siiva Lining just outright slaps - you get it. But we're now in the golden age of ripping quality, where it feels as if every rip made is touched by some benevolent gods ensuring that it does WAY more than it necessarily needs to in order for its proposed joke to work. Because like, YO-Kai Direction is an incredibly simple premise on the surface, mashing up the all-too-known YO-KAI Disco with What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction as part of the One Direction event. Back in, say, Season 1, that would've been the end of it, but there's so many small touches added by DonnieTheGuy that shows just how invested he was in utilizing One Direction's sound to the fullest.
And honestly, when the One Direction event began, I was initially a bit disappointed, as it took the place of the channel's annual "9/11 event", which had previously given us incredibly bait-and-switch events like what brought us SUNGORE in 2020. Initially I figured that I had no stake or familiarity with One Direction and so the event was completely out of my wheelhouse...but not only was I SURPRISINGLY familiar with What Makes You Beautiful in particular, I also had no clue that the team was so excited and ready to start using it. It gave me flashbacks to Season 6's Big Time Rush event which brought us Famous Surprise, only with even more people firing on all cylinders for it. Because again - in many other eras, YO-Kai Direction would've just been a mere mashup, but DonnieTheGuy goes the extra length to pitch-shift it all to something absolutely heavenly.
Without ever leaving that original pitch for the rip, YO-Kai Direction masters the art of escalation in a way that's so well done, it's hard to even notice with how well it fits in. It begins as a seemingly normal mashup with a slightly increased BPM speed of YO-KAI Disco being used as to match the One Direction song, but then at the second go around at the verse's melody it becomes more YTPMV-esque, editing soundbytes from What Makes You Beautiful into the melody of the source track, as if to communicate the two tracks merging - "You're insecure, but you walk-walk through the do-o-or!" is pulled off with just a slight stutter and pitch-shifting that's immediately noticeable if you're paying attention to it, yet fits so well as to initially sound just like an extension of the initial mashup. This then carries on into the bridge, before finally exploding in the chorus - wherein every part of One Direction's vocals are pitch-shifted to amazing effect. It's hard to put into word without repeating myself just how well done this build-up is, but the end result is obvious - a genuinely amazing listen.
All the while, slight elements of What Makes You Beautiful's instrumentation seem to be sprinkled into the rip, sounding almost as if they had just been dug out of the mix of the original YO-KAI Disco. That's the theme of the whole rip, and to be clear - ABSOLUTELY not meant as a negative. The way in which DonnieTheGuy managed to make YO-Kai Direction sound almost as if it was a natural collaboration between One Direction and Yousuke Yasui is actually insane, yet it still subtly honors the traditions of what makes the greatest SiIvaGunner rips as good as they are. I won't sugarcoat it - on many days, humming YO-KAI Disco in public, THIS is the version I'm humming.
#todays siivagunner#season 7#siivagunner#siiva#DonnieTheGuy#Youtube#yokai disco#yousuke yasui#mamorukun curse#one direction#1d
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Every bait and switch IS a work of art INDEED!
At first I’m like Taylor just wants to move on with this new free chapter in her life as she should, but maybe not before being a little petty first (not because she’s heartbroken) but because karma for all the people who kept taking and taking from her, and taking advantage of her generosity.
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Also getaway car used to confuse me but viewing it through this lens of it being abt her escaping the vault, leaving big machine records (whose logo is literally a CAR), and owning her masters (her kingdom keys) it makes more sense
Every bait and switch was a work of art indeed
I’m starting to think this mastersheist stuff and her planning her coming out go back way further than we originally thought. With all the connections to lwymmd/karma recently I’m thinking she’s been planning this escape from the vault/closet and planting easter eggs abt it since at least rep era. She did say there were thousands of easter eggs in the lwymmd mv and it would be decades before all of them were found (2:40 of this vid)
#i think bmr tried to keep her locked in the closet and her owning her masters plays a big part in being able to come out#mastersheist#taylor swift#taylorswift#karma#reputation#i can see you mv#getaway car#long story short#hoax#bejeweled mv#lwymmd
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Man, remember just how wild watching Pop Team Epic was like in early 2018? Some highlights:
PTE occupied a full show’s timeslot, but each “episode” was the same half-length episode run twice back-to-back.
One run had the leads voiced by female voice actors, and the other run by male voice actors.
The second run could feature additional or alternate gags.
The voice actors for Popuko and Pipimi changed every episode.
It may be obvious, but remember that it was intended to air on TV, not just online streams. PTE’s first episode starts with a bait and switch, starting with a intro teaser and a full OP for a made-up romcom magical girl idol show called “Hoshiiro Girldrop”. Viewers just picking it up wouldn’t know it was indeed Pop Team Epic until Popuko angrily interrupted the OP by tearing through the screen.
Every episode preview was for Hoshiiro Girldrop.
Literally any of AC-bu’s Bob Epic Team/Bobunimimimi segments.
They got a French animator to create his own set of segments. Thibault Tresca had never read Pop Team Epic before and was encouraged to NOT research it while working on it.
This resulted in the JAPON MiGNON segments, where Popuko and Pipimi visit France and speak French. Japanese subtitles were not provided until the repeat run.
JAPON MiGNON segments were the only sketches where Popuko and PIpimi were shown blinking.
Hellshake Yano
Male pop idol star Shouta Aoi appeared as himself. Also he’s a time traveler tasked with saving Popuko and Pipimi from some great conspiracy.
Earth, Wind, and Fire music video but it’s stop motion felt puppets.
In one episode, they put sound effects over the OP.
The show frequently takes shots at King Records, its publisher and one of the biggest record labels in Japan.
University student Makoto Yamashita was invited to do segments in his specialty of video game pixel art and effects. It was also counted as his senior thesis.
He put in an Undertale segment.
Producer Kotaro Sudo had trouble convincing King Records to greenlight the show. His department head told him every producer gets a sort of free greenlight in their career, but only one. Sudo cashed his in.
Many anime are funded by a production committee made up of various other companies, in order to spread cost and defer risk. PTE was produced solely under King Records, meaning if it flopped, they’d bear the full loss. Nothing a top record label can’t stomach, but TV shows still ain’t cheap.
If the final episode, King Records, which exists in the show, transforms into some sort of monster castle mecha. Popuko and Pipimi combine into a golden fusion of themselves and destroy King Records.
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oh I love indie taylor for dany! I could see her writing willow about her and jon. “every bait and switch was a work of art” indeed! 👀
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Oooooh, forgive me for misinterpreting the intention of the overview! Tieria's inclusion did indeed confuse me into thinking it was meant to be 'all Gundam before IBO'. MY BAD, haha.
The 00 examples are Tieria's doomed love for Lockon, Ribbons and Alejandro having a sexual relationship and... well. Graham is not fully confirmed on the show, but given that the gag drama CDs opt to turn him into a homophobic 'predator gay' joke, I'm claiming canon!Graham as a gay man as well. It's only fair.
I think what you described about the bait-and-switch regarding Shino is laying out pretty precisely why that arc failed to land with me so far. I did fall into the trap on my first viewing enough that my brain concluded that "I am not invested in this story arc" and then on subsequent viewings my brain continued solely latching onto the aspects of the show that I felt pre-existing investment in exploring more deeply.
Which is why I really appreciate the things you've pointed out about the build-up - I think this will make a world of difference for me on my current watch-through.
Not that I ever disliked the Shino/Yamagi plot! I thought it was nice, I was just lacking an angle for personal connection and/or investment in the idea of a reciprocal romance.
In the same vein, although the line about 'the man you love' frustrates me to no end, I'm still incredibly happy about Atra and Kudelia. In a way it's precisely because I love everything about their story so much that I feel annoyed that this singular (yet crucial) bit stumbles at the finish line, haha.
But also, as I am realizing that this is not apparent from my tumblr account as compared to my twitter, but IBO is one of my top favorite Gundams that I love with an incredible passion and appreciate more with every rewatch. I am nitpicking on a high level here and I do not meant to put you on the defensive about this show - I think it's an incredible work of art, just not 100% flawless. Only like. 85% flawless. That's a very very good score in the end.
IBO reference notes on . . . queerness
How has it taken me this long to write about this aspect of the show? (He asked rhetorically, staring at the enormous amount of fanfic that basically stands as a thesis statement on how very queer this part of the Gundam franchise is [as opposed to all the other terribly straight parts, he added, sarcastically].)
Anyway, let's do it. Full spoilers up to the end of the show will follow, together with discussion of child abuse and exploitation, since that is what IBO is all about.
Special thanks to @lilenui and @prezaki for their invaluable assistance in locating sources.
Statement of caveats: this work is an amateur analysis of the English-language localisations (subtitled and dubbed) of a piece of Japanese media. I do not speak or read Japanese. I am myself bi, which qualifies me to be attracted to more of the cast than the average viewer, and have a working knowledge of LGBTQ+ history in the UK and USA, which tells me nothing about the cultural and historical context in which this anime was made. As such, I will not be addressing the behind-the-scenes production or the corporate mandates surrounding it but will focus narrowly on what I perceive to be present in the text (hereafter meaning both the script and animation, and any additional fictional details provided elsewhere).
Queerness in Gundam
Some background before we dive in. To my knowledge, the first character in the Gundam franchise to be intentionally depicted as LGBTQ+ is Guin Sard Lineford from Turn A Gundam (1999). An ambitious young aristocrat who spends the series on the line between hero and villain, he is infatuated with protagonist Loran Cehack and the show makes little attempt to play this as anything other than one man falling in love with another.
This is entirely one-sided and not appreciated on Loran's part, although that seems to have less to do with it being homosexual attraction than with Guin's high-handed and entitled attitude to life, filtered through heavily gendered social norms. For plot reasons, Loran spends several episodes cross-dressing as 'Laura Rolla', corsets and all, and Guin continues referring to him as 'Laura' long after the deception is no longer required, saying it 'suits him better'. Guin is eventually called out on this by a third character, who accuses him of forcing an idea of feminity on the other man rather than stoop to place himself in the position of a 'wife'. Objectifying Loran is presented as of a piece with Guin's overall flaws as a person, to whit, putting his own views about how things should be above the material reality and desires of those around him.
Guin is also the only explicitly gay character in the show (I'm honestly not sure how to classify whatever Dianna Soreil and Kihel Heim have going on, but it's certainly not labelled in the text). Therefore no counterpoint is provided to demonstrate healthy queer relationships. I don't state this to dismiss his inclusion: he forms part of a smart, nuanced plot thread, and Gundam creator Yoshiyuki Tomino had to fight to get Guin's homosexuality clearly included. But even so, Guin is a palpable step forward rather than a watershed moment, and the end result veers close to some nasty stereotypes about queer people imposing their desires on others.
There are other examples of characters transgressing gender norms in Turn A, most especially Loran's aforementioned cross-dressing. He is comfortable playing the part of 'Laura', in ways that mitigate viewing this situation as the extended joke it might be in another production. Funny moments do come up – particularly in the lead-in to his 'debut' as he acclimatises to the female attire of the show's pseudo-Edwardian setting and takes posture lesson – but he and the concept of a man in ladies' clothes are never made a subject of mockery. The same cannot be said for the character of Sochie Heim, whose attempts as a young woman to fulfil a gung-ho masculine role often turn comedic. This is part and parcel of her assaying militaristic modes of action, which are soundly mocked across the board. It nevertheless stands out next to Loran/Laura.
Further, Loran's status as a literal moon-child carries implications for his attitudes. His dismissal of existing social standards on Earth is very much presented as correct, and in keeping with what I know of Tomino's other writing and stated beliefs, but it dovetails unfortunately with a treatment of queerness as otherworldly, not something that may be found among an average population. We get another example of cross-dressing in the next-but-one series, Gundam 00 (2007, not a work Tomino helmed), where the usually male-presenting artificial lifeform Tieria Erde switches to a female presentation (in a ball-gown, no less) during a covert mission. This sufficiently parallels Loran's case, I assume it was a deliberate call-back, being as it is a disguise enacted by someone even less typical than a boy from the moon.
What I am driving at is that while Guin, Loran and Tieria may be characters who are queer or perform queerness in some manner, they do not necessarily represent an outright embracing of queerness as a mundane facet of everyday life.
Fast-forward to 2024 and the latest mainline Gundam show is a lesbian romance.
If you have been following my blog for a while, you will know I do not hold The With From Mercury in especially high regard. I think it is annoyingly messy, frequently half-baked, and, broadly-speaking, exactly as frustrating as I'd expect from the guy who wrote Code:Geass. It's still an explicit love story that opens with a clangingly blunt statement about the acceptance same-sex relationships and ends with the two female leads happily married to one other. For all its flaws, I genuinely think the central relationship between Suletta Mercury and Miorine Rembran is a nice piece of story-telling, not to mention admirably open about what it is doing. Like it or lump it, Gundam is gay now, properly, with a protagonist and co-protagonist who can be definitively labelled queer and whose romance appears entirely unremarkable for the setting (in terms of being same-sex; clearly there is a lot to remark upon otherwise).
I would be remiss if I did not mention that the conclusion of the series was accompanied by a certain amount of corporate arse-showing, with hollow attempts to walk back the ending seemingly for the sake of appeasing homophobic elements within and without the companies that produce Gundam. The frankly laughable nature of these actions stands testament to how unequivocal G-Witch is. It is flatly impossible in my opinion to interpret as anything other than flagrantly homosexual, and that's great.
Between this interesting but limited start and the full-throated present lies Iron-Blooded Orphans (2015), my absolute favourite and the show that got me writing slash fic after years of… not doing that. So: what is the deal with queerness in IBO?
Natural for a human
By my count, including all present spin-offs, there are three characters stated in-text as being attracted to people of the same gender (Yamagi Gilmerton, Iznario Fareed, Deira Nadira), two who are at the least open to the idea (Norba Shino, Mina Zalmfort), two whose mutual attraction is stated within the context of polyamory with a third person of the opposite gender (Atra Mixta, Kudelia Aina Bernstein), one whose sexuality is briefly hinted at (Chad Chaden), and one male character who is possibly not attracted to women (Orga Itsuka).
Let's get Iznario out of the way first, because the less time we spend on the actual paedophile, the better.
Lord Iznario Fareed is a rich, powerful aristocrat who sexually abuses young blonde boys and inadvertently sets large parts of the plot in motion as part of quasi-villain McGillis' backstory. In a lesser show, Iznario would be the embodiment of the 'predatory queer' stereotype Guin skirts the edge of. Here, however, he is very much not the only 'gay' character present and his proclivities demonstrate one of the many ways the world exploits vulnerable children, a core theme of the series. Early on, we see fleeting glimpses of young girls being pimped out on the streets of Mars. Iznario shows this social failing extends to the much richer Earth and although he is portrayed as the worst among the Gjallarhorn elite, they all abuse their power for personal gain. Thus, as much as the reveal of what he has done carries a certain shock value, it is not present purely for cheap impact. (This isn't the essay to discuss it, but the flashbacks to McGillis being abused as a child are a masterclass in how to frame such things around the victim, clearly communicating what's happening while avoiding gross voyeurism.)
I don't know how deliberate it is the canonical gay character who is shown in an entirely positive light fits the profile of Iznario's victims to a T, but it does underscore we're looking at a case of power allowing people to get away with hideous things, not a stand-in for queerness in general. To an extent I resent having to spell this out, since it seems so obvious Iznario is not fulfilling the role of a homophobic cliché. Sadly, the cliché exists and the point is worth discussion.
Moving swiftly on: Yamagi and Shino.
Yamagi Gilmerton is a small, quiet teenage boy with a somewhat withdrawn and acerbic personality, who spends much of Iron-Blooded Orphans nursing a hopeless crush on mobile suit pilot Norba Shino. Like the majority of the cast, Yamagi is a child soldier, but a mechanic rather than a combatant. Additional backstory commentary reveals that he struggled on joining CGS mercenary group due to his physique. Indeed, while this detail is not directly referenced in the anime itself, he is indeed drawn noticeably thinner than the other boys.
Again, we veer towards stereotypes, where a queer character is portrayed as weaker and more effeminate. Yet in spite of leaning this way in looks, Yamagi is an eminently capable person, never treated as lesser for fulfilling a support role rather than being a fighter. If anything, IBO goes out of its way to highlight how vital good mechanics are to mechanised warfare, and we see multiple examples of Yamagi being both assertive and kind of badass. At one point, he scales, unaided, an 18 metre tall mobile suit that's collapsed to its knees. When he and Shino are revisited in spin-off game Urdr Hunt (soon to be some form of animated production), he pilots a spaceship within an active battle-zone, flying escort for a damaged freighter as it retreats. In Season 2, he's comfortable ordering Tekkadan's new recruits around and is the first person to properly chew Orga out for his failings as a leader. Far from being an outlier among the protagonists, Yamagi is equally brave and dedicated to the cause, irrespective of his sexuality.
To be fair, he does tend to clam up and grow more awkward around the object of his affections. To be equally fair, he has the misfortune of having fallen for the most oblivious himbo on God's red Mars.
Shino is a big, boisterous warrior, the polar opposite of Yamagi in personality and physicality. He embodies Tekkadan's machismo, eagerly anticipating the chance to prove their strength and generally being a standard bearer for becoming the biggest, baddest group around. Things are not as straightforward as they seem on the surface, however. He shows a good awareness of when the group is in over their heads – going so far as to suggest retreat in the face of bad odds several times – and he is not nearly as sure of himself as he might first appear. He displays a wide streak of insecurity about his abilities as a soldier, reacting badly to people questioning his dedication or competency. And he crumbles completely when some of his comrades are killed as the result of a split-second mistake on his part, stating a wish to have died in their place. Thereafter, he acts in ways that read as choosing to take all the risks on himself rather than go through more loss. It makes him an interesting mix, someone who acts as a cheerleader, boosting everyone else's morale, while swallowing his own doubts and personal fatalism.
He is also presented as one of the most sexually active members of Tekkadan, using his wages to visit brothels to sleep with women. Indeed, he is frequently found extolling the virtues of the opposite sex, referencing collections of pornography (at least in the English dub), and generally being a very typical teenage boy about such matters.
Given this, you might assume Yamagi is longing hopelessly for a straight man. That is indeed the idea the show teases us with for much of its run (can something be straight-baiting? I feel if anything ever earned that title, it's this). OK, Shino's fond of Yamagi as a friend and frequently relies on his assistance in improving his fighting ability, and per ancillary material, is the one who got Yamagi transferred to the mechanics corps in the first place, rescuing him from struggling in the infantry. And sure, Shino spends an awful lot of time in very close proximity to Yamagi, including literally pulling him into the cockpit to assist with a mission. And yes, Shino is absolutely a flamboyant creature, sporting gold ear studs and an attraction to the colour pink, ensuring his mobile suits are painted all over magenta in order to stand out on the battlefield. And certainly, Shino is extremely empathetic, adjusting his attitude depending on his impressions of other people, such that he dials his boisterousness down in Yamagi's presence, displaying a far more gentle affection than he does with his other friends.
But clearly he hasn't noticed Yamagi is head over heels for him.
Right?
Well, towards the end of Season 2, during another moment where Yamagi is literally sitting on Shino's knee, Shino proposes the two of them drink together all night long once the fighting is over. Not only is this an unambiguously romantic overture (he's asking while pushing aside the fringe that normally covers half of Yamagi's face, in order to look into his eyes properly), it comes after a joke several episodes earlier in which Shino has to explain to a less worldly comrade that a girl inviting you for a drink is not a request to go out with the whole gang but a far more intimate gesture (I say explain, it's more expressing incredulity Akihiro didn't realise Lafter was asking him on a date). Later, it is revealed Shino did indeed work out that Yamagi 'likes' him (to his friend Eugene's exasperation that it took him so long to notice), and he reacted with amazed delight to discover there was someone in Tekkadan who'd fall in love with 'a guy like me'.
He'd assumed because Tekkadan is a family (a description provided by their ally Naze, which everyone just kind of runs with), romantic love wasn't possible between them. Having worked through this mental block and finally realised the blindingly obvious, he renews his desire to protect Tekkadan as long as he lives, refuting his previous view of himself as an expendable human shield and heading out with every intention of surviving all the way to the end.
And because IBO is an exquisitely-written tragedy, he is promptly killed while attempting a futile one-man attack against their enemies, his advances on Yamagi forming part of a long build-up whereby the boy who loves him provides the tools he needs to charge into a suicide run.
Right then. *drags out the reading comprehension soap-box* I have seen some people refer to this as an example of the 'bury your gays' trope, and there is nothing more likely to get me manifesting behind you in the form of an irate shoebill than to do likewise. 'Bury your gays' refers to a tendency for queer characters in fiction to disproportionately suffer tragic fates. This is a writing choice usually rooted in the idea queer relationships are inherently tragic, either because they are viewed as a perversion of 'correct' forms of love, or because of some misguided idea the prevalence of homophobia means queer joy is impossible. I am going to be charitable and concede this is indeed a case where one half of a budding homosexual relationship dies horribly. But, as always, the context matters.
All but one of the romantic relationships established prior to the epilogue of Iron-Blooded Orphans end in death. Of the two that survive in some capacity, one is a heterosexual background romance between two older characters and the other is a pair of women I shall be covering later. IBO is a story about child soldiers that does not shy away from the fact these are teenagers being fed into a meat-grinder. That the director's original intention of killing every named character was toned down (to the series immeasurable benefit, in my opinion) dos not change a narrative arc towards doom.
Within this, Yamagi and Shino aren't singled out for being queer. The coyness around Shino's eventually-evident bisexuality serves to generate an instant of hope and relief right before the rug is pulled from under everyone's feet. Where Shino's death does differ from those of other characters is in presentation: he dies alone and does not get any form of farewell or the passing-on moment afforded to others. But that is only to be expected, since we're talking about the point where it becomes clear there is no saving the situation. It's a cruel, abrupt moment of bad luck, puncturing the heroic idea of scraping victory at the last second. Shino flew out intending to live and he died anyway. A queer relationship forming part of what he was fighting for is an almost incidental detail.
(As an aside, I am aware of two other examples in Gundam fiction where a pilot and a mechanic have a doomed love affair. One is in Char's Counterattack, where a male engineer's romance with a female pilot ends with them both being abruptly killed, and the other is from Gundam AGE, where a female mechanic sacrifices herself for the greater good, leaving a male pilot to mourn her loss for the rest of the series. Shino and Yamagi reiterate this same concept.)
Stepping back from the tragedy, Yamagi's love for Shino is as delightfully underplayed as the other relationships in the show, with little emotional melodrama being wrung from the romance itself. Yamagi can't bring himself to declare his feelings, frequently turning cold instead and perpetuating Shino's misunderstanding of where they stand. Yet Shino ultimately proves enthusiastic for the idea, rendering moot any concerns Yamagi had over getting turned down (going beyond the text, a Q&A with the series' director confirmed Shino was written as bi). Equally, in the aftermath of Shino's death, Eugene comforts Yamagi by relating the truth of Shino's earlier realisation and even going so far as to rebuff Yamagi for implying there's something wrong with him for grieving. This and other interactions in the same episode imply those nearest to the pair were well aware of Yamagi's desires and had absolutely no problem with them. The prevailing attitude within Tekkadan is one of complete acceptance for its members and this is no different.
Indeed, for me, the most important part of how queerness is represented in IBO is that it is treated as just another aspect of the diversity of the cast. I've seen it stated that viewing homosexuality as a natural part of human existence was Tomino's motivation in making Guin gay. IBO presents us with the same idea, far more seamlessly and far more positively.
Now, let's leave the anime proper and look at the same-sex pairing from spin-off manga Iron-Blooded Orphans: Moon Steel.
Deira Nadira and Mina Zalmfort are part of the Gjallarhorn nobility and their marriage was arranged to strengthen relations between their two families. We see an example of a similar political match in the main show, where the heir to the Fareed family, McGillis, is betrothed to the second child of the Bauduins, the much, much younger Almiria. That this can take place regardless of the gender of the participants has big implications for the functioning of a bloodline-focused aristocracy. Presumably it indicates they are happy to use medical technology to ensure the Nadira family continues into the next generation, and if same-sex marriages are thus permitted, that means fewer factors to worry about when it comes to perpetuation. Whether male-male weddings are allowed too remains an open question; given the existence of real-world double-standards, it is possible Deira and Mina represent the only acceptable form of homosexuality. Nevertheless, that it is accepted speaks volumes. Gjallarhorn is not an especially progressive organisation, built as it is on rigid class structures and notions of human purity. Yet here we are.
Perhaps we should have expected that the norms around gender in this system don't correspond to strictly patriarchal patterns from the real world. Carta Issue, a key player in Season 1 of the anime, is the only child of the Issue Family's current leader and positioned as his sole heir, irrespective of the fact she's a woman. The logical inference is that any children of hers would count as Issues, rather than belonging to a potential husband's family. Deira is similarly the heir to her father's position, although intriguingly, it's not outright confirmed if she is his only child or simply the oldest. The possibility exists that gender is a non-factor in determining inheritance.
With respect to sexuality, Deira seems pretty obviously intended to be a lesbian. Her relationship with Mina is presented as one they are both happy with, despite it being an arranged by their parents, and Deira is depicted in the manual for Gundam Gremory's model kit as favouring the clothes of 'a handsome man'. She doesn't present that way within the manga' story, first showing up wearing the standard unisex Gjallarhorn pilot-suit, then wearing a formal gown for a meeting while in an official capacity. But she is depicted wearing masculine clothes in silhouette when initially mentioned and in a post-story panel at the back of the final volume.
(Another aside: the fan translations I use for this part of the manga refer to Deira using male pronouns when she's introduced. However, that could simply be down to the poor quality of said translation; she's consistently referred to using female pronouns in official materials and the game adaptation of this scene has her named as simply 'Lord Nadira', the standard appellation for Gjallarhorn family heads.)
Whether Deira's code-switching is the result of institutional expectations around her role or personal preference, it adds extra texture to her depiction. While civilian garb was designed for the adult version of Carta and closely matches conservative gender expectations for a woman, she's never shown wearing it, so we don't have a point of comparison to judge what's required of a character in Deira's position.
Regarding Mina, you'll notice I grouped her with Shino rather than the characters whose sexuality I consider to be stated outright. With Shino, the nature of his sexuality is not put absolutely beyond question in the text. This is splitting hairs due to the overt nature of what's on screen but the fact remains, the anime doesn't clarify if his being open to Yamagi's love means he already thinks of himself as bisexual, or if this is something he hadn't considered before. With Mina, it's more a case that I'm unwilling to label her one way or the other based on the available information. Deira carries sufficient signifiers, I find little room for doubt over the intention. We also have an outright statement that she holds great affection for Mina regardless of being obliged to consider her an eventual romantic partner. Indeed, she becomes so upset by believing her fiance dead, she runs off to Antarctica in a Gundam. But the exact depth of Mina's feelings in return is not discussed.
In addition, Mina is considerably younger than Deira. McGillis and Almiria's match takes place when he is (probably) somewhere in his late twenties and she is nine, with plans for the union made four years prior. This is not great, to put it mildly, albeit fairly typical of how such things have historically worked for nobility. Based on appearances and how they are treated by the rest of the cast, I would assume Mina to be in her mid-teens, and Deira to be in her early twenties (annoyingly, exact ages are provided for several characters in Moon Steel, just not these two). A less dramatic gap (and I don't believe Mina is meant to be quite as young as her appearance perhaps suggests), yet still significant when one of the people involved is below what we'd consider adulthood.
There is no indication of anything untoward going on, within the confines of the situation, similar to how we're given no indication McGillis is abusive towards Almiria. Any comparisons with Lord Iznario's activities lie purely along the axis of how children are exploited by adults even without suffering directly. All indications are that Deira and Mina have made the most of something they have little choice in. Regardless, I still feel more comfortable describing Mina as open to being in a relationship with another woman, rather than pinning her to a specific preference.
Continuing the theme of things where doubt or ambiguity exist, let's discuss some characters were there shouldn't be any: Atra and Kudelia.
I don't know about you, but I find it extraordinarily hard to read this as anything other than a three-way love-confession. Still, in the interests of fair play, let's review the wriggle room for declaring this something else.
Kudelia Aina Bernstein and Atra Mixta are love interests of nominal protagonist Mikazuki Augus, in an iteration of another tried-and-true trope, that of a male lead inexplicably being attractive to the female characters in his orbit. Or rather, it would be if the show didn't take such pains to demonstrate why these girls fall for him, setting up a long-established crush on Atra's part (rooted in him being the first person in the world to be nice to her) and a mutual respect on Kudelia's that gets spurred to more when Mikazuki randomly decides to kiss her because she 'looked cute' (Mikazuki has the manners of a feral stray raised on the streets, because that's precisely what he is).
Justification aside, this has the makings of a traditional triangle, that is, one without a connecting base, which we might expect to be resolved by either Kudelia or Atra 'losing out'. For a few episodes, this does indeed seem where we are headed. Then Atra discovers the concept of polyamory via the polygamous Turbines group and all bets are off.
Having realised it is perfectly possible for a family to consist of multiple romantic partners, Atra proceeds to work towards ensuring everyone gets everything they want. Strictly speaking, this doesn't mean she is attracted to Kudelia as well – even if she clearly recognises Kudelia as an attractive person from the start and…
You know what? Acknowledging that the information about their eventual marital status was only stated in interviews at live events with no official record and seems to have been framed around raising the son Atra has with Mika, I'm going to abandon the pretence of both-sided objectivity and go straight for the throat. Turns out my patience for soft-footing this lasts about as long as it takes to say 'bi-erasure'.
Over the course of Season 1, Atra not only decides the end-game is some form of three-person wedding, she also:
Shows no jealousy over Mikazuki and instead chides him for not providing the correct emotional support to the girl he kissed.
Spends a great deal of time with Kudelia and enthusiastically throws herself into furthering Kudelia's goals, without necessarily understanding the technicalities.
Covers for Kudelia by pretending to be her during a confrontation with Gjallarhorn soldiers, getting herself soundly beaten up in order to prevent them from chasing after the real deal.
Drives an armoured car through a battlefield for Kudelia's sake, safely delivering her to a vital rendezvous.
Leaps in front of a massive mobile suit to push Kudelia out of its path, physically shielding the other girl with her body.
As much as it pains me to resort to the 'if this were a man and a woman, would it read as romantic' crudity – yes! Yes it would! Especially since in Season 2, Atra presents Kudelia with a good-luck charm bracelet she has woven, something she previously did for Mikazuki explicitly out of having a crush on him. I'm all for embracing platonic love (which is why Takaki and Aston are not featuring in this rundown) and there's nothing in the above list necessarily entailing attraction beyond deep friendship. But when Atra consciously repeats her actions towards Mikazuki (someone she goes on to definitely have sex with) with Kudelia and it leads to the scene between them where they declare how they feel about each other and Mikauki, looking for non-romantic angles takes more effort.
After all, if we are to read Shino's openness to Yamagi's affection from the things he says and how he looks saying them, we can certainly do the same for Atra and Kudelia's use of the word 'like' in reference to one another and their reactions to hearing it said of them. (Obligatory note that if there is some nuance in the original Japanese the translation doesn't capture, I'd love to hear about it. The English scripts, however, leave little to the imagination.)
It is indisputable that Atra feels a strong affection towards Kudelia and while I have been focusing on her a lot (she is by far the most proactive member of the triad), Kudelia reciprocates at every opportunity she is presented with. Even if there truly wasn't an intention to portray this as exactly equivalent to Atra and Mikazuki, the end result manages to be on par with Yamagi and Shino. Consider Kudelia and Mikazuki, for example. In terms of portrayal and the two-girls-one-guy trope being explored here, they have the same level of chemistry and the same absence of overt consummation as Kudelia and Atra, and it would hardly be a serious position to claim the show does not place the two of them in romantic conjunction, now would it?
You may at this point be wondering why I am getting so defensive of reading Kudelia and Atra as romantic partners. Honestly, I am too. On reflection, I think it's because IBO is playing around with such a worn-out and insipid means of wringing drama from characters who should know better, I keep searching for the catch. And yet there isn't one. This show really did respond to a nascent love chevron by having the mousy, homely girl tell the governor's beautiful daughter to shut up and get in the polycule, and turned it into a true triangle.
That's wonderful. I cannot properly express the wave of joy and relief that came over me when I realised this was the direction they were taking. It ends in tragedy, of course, Mikazuki giving up any chance of a peaceful life to die in battle, far away from the women who love him. But their lives continue because of his sacrifice and by all appearances they remain together. In some ways, for the overarching message of hope persisting on the back of heartbreak, the precise details of that arrangement don't particularly matter. So why not take the gayest reading possible?
What an excellent segue into a blink-and-you'll-miss-it, probably-stretching-too-far, nonetheless-compelling potential bit of queerness: Chad in the series epilogue.
One of the many tertiary characters in Tekkadan, Chad Chaden has minor speaking parts throughout Season 1 and a larger role in Season 2. He initially appears during a particularly dire early moment when it looks like everyone is about to be killed by attacking mobile suits. His obvious resignation to this fate sets the tone for a rather dour personality, at least while on the clock. Chad starts out as human debris, a person enslaved after a space battle and sold to the CGS military group as free labour. This gives him a very matter-of-fact attitude towards fighting and the kill-or-be-killed nature of being forced into it – he voices the sentiment that even when facing other human debris, they can't afford to show mercy.
Off the clock, Chad displays a more sensitive personality. He seems studious, learning about interplanetary communications from Kudelia's maid Fumitan and later being promoted to leader of Tekkadan's Earth branch. He has some difficulty acclimatising to being treated as a free person, proving unsure about the concept of wearing a smart suit instead of his normal fatigues. And he grows anxious when he returns to Mars to discover nobody told him two of the few adults in the group (Yukinojo and Merribit) had started dating, worrying that he's no longer 'one of the guys'.
The most we learn about his relationship preferences prior to the series epilogue comes in a comedic sequence about a third of the way into Season 2, when Shino suggests a trip to a local brothel. Eugene responds by proclaiming that he's realised money will not buy him true love. This prompts Chad to ask Merribit if this is true and, on her saying she supposes so, opts out of the trip as well. Judging by his body-language in the next frame where he appears, this is possibly a decision he regrets – perhaps owing to his anxieties, since he just passed up the chance for some team-bonding.
None of this is directly relevant to the topic of this essay. If anything, the scene I just described suggests that, like Eugene, Chad has previously gone along with Shino in paying for sex with women, only to discover he wanted more than just physical intimacy. But then we get the exchange in Kudelia's office during the last episode, following a time-skip after Tekkadan's defeat and dissolution. Now working for Kudelia as an assistant of some kind, Chad notes that Merribit is shortly to give birth to her and Yukinojo's second child, saying he and Yamagi intend to meet up later to plan a celebration. Eugene reacts with amused disbelief, accusing them of just wanting an excuse to go out drinking, to which Chad retorts, 'what's wrong with that?'
And the thing is he's blushing when he does. Which may simply be because Eugene is accusing him of slacking off – IBO characters blush all the time and their embarrassment is frequently to do with being caught acting immature or otherwise against how they want people to see them. But given the weight that 'drinking the night away' carries in regards to Yamagi following Shino's actions shortly prior to his death, it is easy to speculate this represents something more specific.
As far as I can recall, Chad and Yamagi do not interact at all over the course of the show's two seasons, meaning these lines present a rather unexpected combination of characters. Eugene would have seemed a more likely candidate to associate with Yamagi. He's positioned as Shino's closest friend, he comforts Yamagi over his grief, and they are together for much of the climax to the series' plot. So what has happened in the years since, that Eugene's teasing should elicit a blush from Chad instead?
If we put on our shipping goggles, it's far from a nonsensical pairing. Chad goes through an arc not too dissimilar to Shino's. He is knocked into a coma while protecting an ally from a bomb blast and subsequently the Earth branch gets swept into a war orchestrated by one of the factions within Gjallarhorn. On recovering, he blames himself for the many deaths that result, echoing Shino's line about thinking it better if he'd died in place of his comrades. On returning to Mars, he jumps head-first into mobile suit training, determined to make up for his perceived failure as a leader and cheering himself up through rigorous activity. Different though their personalities appear on the surface, there are clear commonalities here. Further, Chad's responses to his traumatic experiences have a more measured quality to them than Shino's. He is not nearly as reckless and provides clear directions to his comrades even while acting as a decoy against a dangerous enemy, rather than abandon any attempt to be an effective leader. Taken together, and coupled to a more long-term view of romance, these qualities might make him a 'safer' version of things Yamagi loved about Shino, creating space for them to be drawn together.
Or perhaps they're simply the most logical points of contact between the ex-Tekkadan survivors at the Admoss Company and Kassapa Factory and intend to make that an excuse to get companionably plastered for no greater reason than it being a nice time. I am speculating over a couple of lines and an animation choice. Nevertheless, it does not feel like unreasonable speculation. When we already have a veritable gaggle of characters who are queer or may trivially be read as such, it's hardly a stretch to assume one more.
Chad/Yamagi doesn't appear to be a thread the fandom at large has pulled on much, likely because the pairing of Shino and Yamagi is so prominent, it eclipses a mere throwaway possibility. But I'm glad it exists within easy reach. And even if we take off our goggles, these lines demonstrate life for the characters has not stopped. The ex-slave and the gay kid are not stuck, trapped by the tragedies of their past. They have instead grown in both confidence and happiness and now have peaceful, stable lives where they're on going-out-drinking terms. That above all is why I wanted to explore this exchange: it reinforces Iron-Blooded Orphans' rejection of the idea the suffering people like Chad and Yamagi go through is perpetual or inevitable.
OK, one more character to look at. Let's talk about Orga and asexuality.
Orga Itsuka, leader of Tekkadan and instigator of the series' events, is notable for his charisma, his drive to provide a safe home for his comrades, and his complete unsuitability for the grown-up activities he attempts. Trying to party all night leaves him puking up his dinner. He forces himself into a suit and tie to handle the administration of a break-out paramilitary company, despite finding it stultifying and bewildering. His goals spin like a weather-cock, as he's surrounded by older characters possessing strong convictions while unable to stick to his own. And he is ultimately undone by an unwillingness to ask for help, having assumed that, as leader, he must decide everything alone.
I suspect his expressed lack of interest in women is intended to help convey overall immaturity. Orga is a good soldier and tactician, but he plainly isn't prepared for adulthood, lacking the grasp on the complexities of life that implies. Making him uncomfortable about sex serves to heighten the impression of a teenager trying to navigate circumstances for which he's not yet ready.
Relatedly, it should be stressed Orga stating he 'doesn't care' about woman is a response to Eugene asking if he agrees love and kindness are what's important, as opposed to Shino's endorsement of boobs. On hearing this response, Eugene proceeds to mock his commander for inexperience. That he himself has only just had his first sexual experience with another person and previously said much the same about not caring about sex simply proves hypocrisy is a fundamental aspect of Eugene's characterisation. The whole scene is very teenage.
Matters have not improved much when Orga and Eugene's dynamic is revisited in one of the side-stories released via the Iron-Blooded Orphans G mobile game. A year and change later, Eugene continues to act superior about having 'experience' where Orga doesn't.
Orga takes this rather poorly.
(Subtitles by @trafalgarlog)
Eventually Merribit has to shout at them to stop being brats, shaming them for behaving like argumentative children. It's funny – and then you remember they basically still are children and this is headed towards more carnage that will not spare them for being young. Such it is to engage with Iron-Blooded Orphans.
What does any of this tell us about Orga's sexuality? In principle, taking it as a device to convey immaturity, nothing. Orga's persisting virginity could simply mean he's not worked out this aspect of himself yet. He is a busy young man who likely hasn't had the time to try.
Alternatively it could mean he is gay. Mikazuki/Orga is an extremely popular ship in the fandom and we might take Orga's professed lack of interest in women as 'evidence' of him swinging the other way.
Or we could take my view, that Orga is asexual and his embarrassment is rooted in just not getting what the big deal is.
To immediately clarify, I don't think he is ace because he 'hasn't worked out what he wants', I think he's ace because he blushes on admitting he doesn't care about women and does not try to prove otherwise once he's in a position where he could easily do so. In circling back to the same joke for the side-story, the writers portray Orga as continuing to be uninterested in sex and sensitive over being needled about it. Again, a feasible interpretation is that he's into guys. Yet this is an argument with Eugene, whose response to the idea of Yamagi being in love with Shino is basically 'you mean you didn't notice?' Eugene is a dork and jerk; he isn't bigoted. None of the Tekkadan guys are. It's unclear if homophobia is even a factor in the setting. Sexism is, but when someone as superficially macho as Shino is comfortable with male/male attraction, and there are same-sex weddings inside Gjallarhorn, we cannot assume stigma exists around being gay. So why should Orga be worried, unless it goes beyond a question of who you're attracted to and into the answer being 'nobody at all'?
When you're surrounded by people who happily wax lyrical about how the joys of sex make you a real man, the absence of a libido might easily become a sore point.
Again, I'm supposing. Again, there is room to do so. As I touched on with Chad, it is easy to read queerness into the text when the assumption of straightness has been taken away, which is something this show does wholeheartedly and deliberately.
Orga Itsuka is one of the first characters I looked at and realised, not only shouldn't I assume heterosexuality, I shouldn't assume sexual attraction at all. I cannot credit Iron-Blooded Orphans alone with this. I do credit it with being a piece of media that applies itself to inclusiveness in ways quite remarkable for a show about giant robot fights, produced to market toys.
The word we want here is 'normalisation'. IBO has a lot to say about what constitutes 'normal' and a lot of it accords well with my own views, particularly those that have me twitching whenever anybody demands we 'be normal' about something. Normality is horrible. It is cruel and it is callous. 'Normal' is a world run on exploitation, on slave labour and on police savagery. Normal is children forced to risk their lives to earn the money required to feed themselves, because it is normal for their parents be gone, or incapable of supporting them. War is normal. Corruption of political systems is normal. Death coming more rapidly for those deemed expendable by society is very, very normal.
But so is protest. The drive to do something, to change things. The capacity for caring about each other. Love. 'Normal' is just a statement about what surrounds us every day, for worse and for better. In too many pieces of fiction, normality is narrowed, rendered a neater, cleaner picture, often excluding the kinds of people we might run into on the street, or walk past, or see on the news, distant and dehumanised.
Queerness is normal, yet for a long time it has been one of the first things to be cut out of fictional worlds. And when it is present, it's a big deal. An object lesson or a cry of triumph over breaking free of unfair strictures. I love stories about queer joy and victory. Heck, I'm a sucker for a good, soppy gay romance. But these aren't the only kinds of stories we tell. Sometimes we need to reflect the worst aspects of the world and what it does to normal people.
In attempting this, Iron-Blooded Orphans commits to an idea of 'normal people' that includes those who are gay or bisexual, those of colour and those we'd call white, the polyamorous, the illiterate, the desperate, the powerful, those who throw themselves into the fight with everything they have, and those who are simply kind. Those who are accepting, understanding and compassionate. Those who need to be accepted, who struggle to be understood, who suffer for a lack of compassion.
There are all sorts of people in IBO and – as a certain cheery, violent dumbass once said – man do I love it. I don't believe it is reading against the spirit of the thing to imagine more diversity than gets outright stated, to interpret one of the leads as ace or suppose another side character is bi or pansexual. It would seem entirely natural if they were.
Everyone's welcome here, down among the debris and the bloodshed, where hope is precious and fleeting and still somehow endures. So why shouldn't we raise a few extra pride flags?
Queer as in 'fuck you'
This all said, taken as a whole, Iron-Blooded Orphans is not a story about queerness or queer romance. Nowhere is this clearer than in its ending.
I skipped over the framing of the final scenes of the anime when I discussed Kudelia and Atra. They form a striking contrast with the ending of The Witch from Mercury, where the conclusion is directly focused around Suletta and Miorine's love for one another, their bonds of wedlock, and the happiness they have found together. This follows from the show being primarily about their relationship. In Iron-Blooded Orphans, the ending focuses not on Kudelia's feelings toward Atra, but those she has for Akatsuki, Mikazuki's son, with Eugene even saying she's eager to go see 'the man she loves', setting up a brief moment of uncertainty over who the character with Mikazuki's outline actually is.
The nature of Kudelia and Atra's relationship post-time-skip is implied rather than stated: in the English versions of the script, they do not refer to each other using terms suggesting they are married, although Atra has dropped her habitual 'Miss' from the front of Kudelia's name. They do not have wedding rings (redundant as those would be alongside the charm bracelets) and Akatsuki does not call Kudelia 'mom'. That they are raising him together is suggested very strongly, in line with Mikazuki asking Kudelia to be guardian of his child if he died. There are non-romantic ways of taking this idea, though, and none of these are closed off as viable interpretations.
But why should we expect some definite statement about romantic status when the point being conveyed is how Tekkadan's legacy continues to shape the world? This is a story concerned with the exploitation underpinning the world and the effort required to make even the smallest wide-scale change. It is about how people trapped at the bottom of the pecking order are still people, still human, messy and complex. It is about their pointless deaths, they ways they struggle on until those deaths come for them, and why they matter, even if the world forgets them.
Mikazuki, the living weapon, the human sacrifice for Orga Itsuka's reckless ambitions, leaves behind a child who will grow up in a more peaceful time, in a society slightly better off than when he and Orga were starving on Chyrse's streets. He doesn't live to see it; Akatsuki does. For all the failures, the attempt wasn't a waste. Don't you dare disrespect the people who died by saying it was.
This is where the epilogue centres, on Akatsuki and on Kudelia's cherishing of the world Mikazuki and everyone else built. Atra and Kudelia's relationship is there, a part of the gentler life they now have (Atra's desires were always towards the version of her existence where Mikazuki retires to a farm; here she fulfils the dream with Kudelia alone). It just doesn't need to take up space for the ending to land.
Yet, as I pour over how queerness is incorporated into Iron-Blooded Orphans, I find myself considering the struggles queer people face in reality. The victims of the AIDS crisis, dehumanised by indifferent institutions. Section 28 and the attempted destruction of knowledge around non-heterosexual forms of love. Riots and campaigns, voices raised loud and proud. How we are equated with dirt and corruption, reduced down to facts others find disgusting. The name-calling. The petty, pathetic posturing that makes everyday existence pointlessly harder.
So it goes for space-rats and degenerates alike.
I am lucky. My life is about as far from that of a child soldier as it is possible to get. My sexuality has been largely invisible. My gender matches the one most favoured by my society. I still have more common cause with those born in poverty on the other side of the world than I will ever have with the aristocrats and billionaires who shape the direction of my country. Because we hold many causes of misery in common. Because we share the same capacities for joy and suffering. Because our humanity is so easily cast aside by those we will never be able to touch.
There is always a place for stories uncomplicatedly about queer love conquering all. Equally, it is important to recognise the places queerness overlaps with stories about the many other ways the world casts people out. It is vital to be able to explore loss, futility and heartbreak. It is essential to capture why we strive onwards despite how heavily tragedy might weight us down.
We may be doomed. Our lives still matter. To ourselves, to each other and, whether they remember or not, to those who come after us.
So, no: for all the queer characters it contains and the many more we might trivially imagine queerness into, Iron-Blooded Orphans is not gay in the vein of The Witch From Mercury. It is not a happy story.
But it is a tenaciously hopeful one and, from certain angles, that alone looks queer as hell.
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Happy UK/US Pride Month – in honour and memory of Marsha P Johnson and everyone else who refused to go quietly.
I shall leave you with one of the least straight things ever to be included in any Gundam show.
[Index for further writing]
#fandom: iron blooded orphans#VERY MUCH APPRECIATE THE WRITING MORE#ibo's flaws...#i'd tweak the kudelia atra end line#i'd be just SLIGHTLY more clear about mcgillis and almiria to avoid all the horrid discourse#and i'd nix masahiro's reappearance from the story entirely. sorry masahiro
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Bless that T Swift/SJM crossover anon!! Can I add some other ones?!
The 1 - Chaol & Celaena after she’s Aelin again (or Chaol & Nesryn.....poor Chaol)
The Last Great American Dynasty - more like the Last Great Terrasen Dynasty lol
My Tears Ricochet - Aelin @ Arobyn
Mirrorball - Lysandra
Mad Woman = AELIN
The Lakes - Aelin talking about Rowan when she’s tired of it all
Not my (Chloe Ting sponsored) ass realizing just now that the original anon meant all the sjm pairings, but since I’m deep in the acotar trash atm I only made those.
ACOTAR I & II
Apologies jeje.
Manorian: generally speaking they have such reputation vibes. Immaculate record for immaculate couple.
... Ready for it? - “But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom Holdin' him for ransom” // “Younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so I see nothing better, I keep him forever Like a vendetta-ta” // “You should see the things we do, baby In the middle of the night, in my dreams I know I'm gonna be with you So I take my time Are you ready for it?”. Listen do I really need to explain this or do we all just see it?. This song has the electricity, the sexyness, the roughness, the daring aspect that makes manorian be the GOD tier couple that they are.
I’d Lie - Right, bare with me but I will lol at this forever because Manon is basically “And I could tell you his favorite color's green He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes And if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie”. It’s such a weird song to associate with them but it fits her so well hahahahaha because my girl lives in such denial that I just can’t hahahahahahaaha and like “I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine” this is MANON FOR DORIAN ALL THE TIME, and everyone is like but we see you wanting him so just do something about it!!!
Rowaelin
Willow - this screams Rowan looking at Aelin: “Wherever you stray I follow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans That's my man”. He straight up left Maeve and the blood pact thingy they had for the blond girl he met three months prior. Also “Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark Show me the places where the others gave you scars Now this is an open-shut case Guess I should've known from the look on your face Every bait and switch was a work of art”, this speaks of the vulnerability shared through HoF about their scars and of Rowan realizng that every step he took was so he would met her. Willow is Rowan’s song for Aelin.
The Lakes- LET HER GO TO TERRASEN WHERE ALL THE POETS WENT TO DIE, LET HER STAY SO THAT WISTERIA GROWS AROUND HER FEET BECAUSE SHE HASN’T MOVED IN YEARS.
Elorcan
Hoax - the balance of the deep betrayal and the love, the hurt and the I would choose you again all of the nuances of Lorcan’s betrayal and the shattered illusions that speak of them even in their absences, are in Hoax: “Stood on the cliffside Screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would dI believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do”.
Lysandeon
Paper rings- “The wine is cold Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street Cat and mouse for a month or two or three Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe”. This song matches their energy so well even if the lyrics don’t all offer exact parallels. They did however play cat and mouse for a month or two or three. “I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want” Lysandra being accustomed to the finer things in life but she would slum it for Aedion; she is here for thick and thin.
Nesraq:
Gorgeous - “Of your magnetic field being a little too strong And I got a boyfriend (Chaol), he's older than us He's in the club (palace) doing, I don't know what (Yrene....) You're so cool (Sartaq really is the coolest), it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much)” // You make me so happy (dude Nesryn loves spending time with him and he feels valued), it turns back to sad (fuck what about Chaol.. we promised each other it give it ago), yeah There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have (because he’s the prince and I’m not royal) You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad”.
Chaorene:
Dancing with our hands tied - even if the lyrics don’t create perfect parallels, I think the main theme of the song being two people that want to be together, but feel their relationship has a lot of baggage would fit them well. Yrene has to get over her hate for Adarlan (even though she has every every every right to hate Adarlan) and Chaol has to get over *himself*. “I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche? And say, say that we got it I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted”.
Sam x Celaena:
I know places - them trying to run away so they could find a safe place to be in love? indeed. Me crying right now because they never got to? you bet: “'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes And guns They are the hunters, we are the foxes And we runBaby, I know places we won't be found and They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down Cause I, I, I, I know places we can hide, I, I (...)”.
Dorian x Celaena:
The Way I loved you - To Dorian from Aelin... with love, friendship love that is. Because she recognizes the potential in him, in them, she knows he would be good to her and she knows that she indeed fell for him hard enough to want him for herself, but it just doesn’t feel like *that* anymore.
Red - From Dorian’s perspective: “Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly”// “Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted Was right there in front of you Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words To your old favorite song Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword And realizing there's no right answer”. They were literally a crash and burn. But neither of them can actually bring themselves to regret it. It was fun while it lasted and in its way it brought them closer.
Chaol x Celaena:
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - self explanatory, this is them through QoS. My Celorian ass is here for this pettiness I will take no criticism.
Forever and Always - “Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide Like a scared little boy I looked into your eyes Thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure So here's to everything coming down to nothing Here's to silence, that cuts me to the core Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore” This was essentially Chaol’s thought process wondering why him an Celaena don’t work anymore and feeling like... a “we were supposed to be together 5ever what happened.... besides me not doing much to prevent her bff’s death and working for the dude that orchestrated the murder of her nation ?”
August - if I’m being honest this song fits them too not my fave song from folklore being for my least favorite couple in this story but if I gave Feylin some of my all time favorites I can give this one to them, but like “But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine Your back beneath the sun Wishin' I could write my name on it” Even though Chaol was ready to leave it all for her (he would literally cancel plans.. his life plans in case she’d call) she knew that this was an impossibility, their time was brief and it slipped away like a bottle of wine. She could never be his, because she was not entirely herself with him being Aelin meant opening up a lot of things and if Chaol had a hard time getting past a lot of Celaena’s traits then we can imagine the work, literally work he would have to do to accept Aelin... you know what, we don’t have to imagine it... it’s right there in QoS and ToD, anywho, he could never write his name on her back because she was never his, because he did not accept her for all that she was.
Aelin x Dorian x Chaol:
Long live - “I said, remember this moment, in the back of my mind The time we stood with our shaking hands The crowds in stands went wild We were the kings and the queens” // “Will you take a moment? Promise me this That you'll stand by me forever But if, God forbid, fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children some day When they point to the pictures Please tell them my name Tell them how the crowds went wild Tell them how I hope they shine Long live the walls we crashed through I had the time of my life, with you” // I’m emotional right now and I need to cry it out.
I’m not 100% sure on the Chaoyrene one... but I think it’s good enough for me to post this hahaha
Anywho, I hope whoever asked for this enjoyed it 💛💛
#Feysandfeelsasks#Rowaelin#Manorian#Elorcan#Chaorene#Nesraq#Lysandion#Celorian#I don't know what Chaol and Celaena were#sorry
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'And there was one prize I'd cheat to win'
So every bait and switch was a work of art indeed🤔 now this song takes another new level
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A little something to ponder: "every bait and switch was a work of art" - is the work of art a bait and switch, or, are these bait and switches works of art in and of themselves?
this is very galaxy brain anon and my brain is fried but i interpret it as literal as it sounds that the works of art were indeed the bait and switches 😭
#Anonymous#answered#i’ve read this ask 20 times no joke i’m trying to be philosophical when it comes to lyric analysis
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lol Taylor really put “toe” songs with songs about performing for others aka performing heterosexuality. Every bait and switch was a work of art, indeed. How will the hetlors explain this one.
I think this is my favorite chapter
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call down the hawk reread
I need book 2 YESTERDAY. for all the obvious reasons but mainly because what the fuck was that ending. not necessarily a bad wtf just... what. I am hoping book 2 will help me figure out what I think of it; I love the rest of the book but I have trouble with the ending
I had added willow to my ronan/adam playlist but maybe it is actually a jordan/declan song? I mean, should he have known from the look on her face? is there one prize he’d cheat to win? every bait-and-switch was indeed a work of art
went back and read the scene where ronan & adam are dancing in the kitchen for a third time just now. feel things
adam having no pov chapters in this book feels deliberate and important and I am totally fine waiting 2 months to find out any more about this! it’s fine!!!
spent a lot of time during declan’s chapters thinking about the ways he is and is not like gansey. they both hide so much of themselves. but declan is a Liar(tm) and gansey is... a chameleon? idk im still working on this
you are made of dreams and this world is not for you etc
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every bait and switch was a work of art, indeed
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Welcome to the Heart Pirates, Nami-ya Chapter 5: The Masks We Wear
“You are, without a doubt, the most arrogant asshole I’ve ever met!” Nami screamed, her voice echoing down the steel hallway. Most of the crew had taken cover in any room they could find—things had been tense ever since the sunburn incident over a week ago, everyone walking on eggshells waiting for Law’s inevitable revenge. They all knew it wouldn’t be right away; the man liked to take his time, meticulously planning while his victim was lulled into a false sense of security, thinking he had forgiven and forgotten. There was already a large betting pool on what would happen and when, with theories ranging from her waking up to a room full of organs to being forced to wear a skimpy nurse uniform.
Most were silently praying for the latter.
Across from her, Law glared, arms crossed and knuckles white as a small vein popped in his neck out of frustration. They’d been arguing for nearly ten minutes, and for a man who was used to having his orders followed immediately and enthusiastically, it was quickly growing wearisome. “And you’re the most infuriating little witch I’ve ever encountered. I’m not even asking much; it’s completely within your skillset.”
“Like hell it is! You’d have more luck convincing me to wear your crew’s stupid jumpsuits!”
“And deprive my men of seeing you prance around in practically nothing? Morale would tank.”
She crossed her arms, scowling. “Then we agree; I’m not doing it.”
“Our agreement was that you work for me; that means you listen to my orders and carry them out, no arguments.”
“I absolutely never agreed to the ‘no arguments’ part.”
“All I’m asking is for you to pull your weight by using your skills as the Cat Thief to assist me in a little infiltration job. Or do you not know how to act like a lady?” he taunted.
She bristled at the insult but refused to take the bait. “I already pull my weight; I help Bepo with his maps, guide you through storms, and do my share of chores.”
“I’ll concede to the first two, but I know you’ve been conning the men into doing your cleaning.”
She didn’t even try to stop the pleased smirk from curving her lips. “I can’t help it if they feel like being gentlemen by taking on some extra mopping so I can dedicate my time to more important matters.”
“And you thank them by stealing their wallets.”
“It’s no secret I’m a thief; they should know better than to let their guards down around me. Consider it training; you said I shouldn’t let my skills degrade, and a pretty face like mine could be their downfall if they don’t smarten up.”
“That’s the only reason I haven’t removed your hands for it, Nami-ya,” Law replied sourly. “That being said, I’m ordering you to stop stealing from them. It’s not nice to take advantage of your crew.”
Infuriated, she jabbed him in the chest. “They’re not my crew! We’re in a temporary alliance, and I’m fine working with them, but I’m a Straw Hat! Get that through your pigheaded-skull!”
A hand shot forward, grabbing her wrist and pulling her close to Law’s tall, imposing form. “For all intents and purposes, until the year is up, you’re a Heart Pirate. I said when you first arrived, I intend on making the most of having you on my crew, and I meant it.” Arguing was getting him nowhere, so he quickly changed tactics. A shiver ran up Nami’s spine as he leaned close, hot breath ghosting over her sensitive ear and neck. “You’re stealthy, clever, beautiful, and one of the best burglars on the Grand Line. I can’t imagine a better partner. With our combined skillsets, a job like this should be both easy and extremely profitable. I just need your help searching the place for some classified documents once the party’s in full swing.”
A hint of pink dusted her cheeks at his flattery. “Documents?”
“Inside the main study is a safe full of Marine codes, reports on the various atrocities they’ve caused in the name of ‘justice,’ names of soldiers infiltrating pirate crews—all things that go for millions of belli on the black market. Besides that, our target is known for having expensive tastes. Bejeweled trinkets, high-end art, gold statuettes; the man’s loaded.”
Nami couldn’t help it; belli signs flashed in her eyes at the thought of getting her hands on that treasure. Law’d said he had a big job planned, and clearly, he wasn’t kidding.
It was clear that he had her attention, so the Dark Doctor pressed on, voice dropping an octave to seductively murmur, “And that’s just the study. Imagine all the rich pockets you could pick at the party. Far more profitable than my crew, and anything you manage to steal on your own is completely yours; I won’t even demand a cut.” Brushing his free hand across the sleeve of her borrowed shirt, he added, “I was even generous enough to buy you a new dress for the occasion, since you’ll need to look the part of a rich doctor’s lover.”
As much as she hated it, she was wavering. When he’d first proposed—or more specifically, ordered—she escort him to a party as his date, she’d refused on principle. But damn, after only a month, he was starting to figure out her weaknesses, and right now, money was a big one. She had very little to her name on the ship; most of her clothes were borrowed from Ikkaku, and while they’ve made port a couple times, she hadn’t been able to get much beyond the essentials. So the idea of having fresh, wealthy victims and an outfit of her own that she didn’t even have to pay for was tempting indeed.
Too bad she knew pirates like him didn’t do anything for free.
Ignoring the overwhelming heat of his proximity and her natural greed, hazelnut eyes met his hooded gaze suspiciously. “What’s your real game here, Law?”
To his credit, his lazy grin didn’t falter. “Maybe I just think it’ll be amusing to watch you force yourself to shower me with love and adoration all night.”
Nami didn’t buy it for a second. Beneath the sharp scent of soap and antiseptic, she could smell a con. “And who, exactly, owns the house we’ll be infiltrating?”
The confident expression finally slid off his face. “Baron Harpin Gerald, former Head of Intelligence for the Navy.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“He’s over 70 years old—far past his prime.”
“Whitebeard was 72 and still considered the Strongest Man in the World! Garp’s even older and he can throw cannonballs like baseballs! And do you really think a couple of pirates won’t be recognized at a former Marine bigwig’s gala? Especially one of the fucking Supernova?!” she shouted, trying to pull away for the certified madman who’d managed to rope her into service.
Not budging or releasing his hold on the slippery thief, he stated, “Lucky that it’s a masquerade ball, then. A good mask, some temporary hair dye, and no one will suspect a thing. Besides, no pirate would be brazen enough to walk right into the lion’s den.”
“You mean stupid enough.”
“And here I thought you’d enjoy making a little extra cash.”
“I like staying out of jail more. Besides, I’ve seen what your powers can do; you don’t even need to attend the party!”
Gold eyes narrowed in annoyance, though she got the sense it wasn’t fully at her. “On that scale, everyone with eyes will notice a mysterious blue bubble springing up out of nowhere, and someone is sure to raise the alarm,” he countered. “The other problem is that the safe is made out of Seastone—that means my powers are useless, and even touching the damn thing weakens me. So, I need a more traditional thief by my side as back-up.”
Realization hit her like Luffy’s Gum-Gum Bazooka. “You’ve tried to rob him before, haven’t you?”
“Once, about six months ago. Far from a success, though at least the injuries were minimal and he never found out who got past his defenses.”
She frowned. Now it definitely made sense why he wanted to infiltrate the masquerade, but she was still skeptical. “How do you even plan to get us in? If this party’s as fancy as you say, there’ll be a guest list, invitations, at the very list some kind of ID check at the entrance to keep the riffraff out.”
Law reached into his jean pocket, drawing out a shiny, embossed invitation. “Then it’s a good thing Dr. Goodheart Adrian M.D. and his plus-one have already RSVP’d.”
“You really think they’ll fall for a fake invitation?”
“I sent Uni ahead to switch out the guest list with an updated version. Bribed a servant to let him take his place. He sent me a message this morning that he was successful, so we’re in.”
“Like anyone would believe you’re a real doctor.”
“I am a real doctor—I wouldn’t have been able to save Mugiwara’s life if I weren’t,” he said pointedly.
Nami winced. There was that painful reminder of exactly how much she owed this man and that, whether she liked it or not, she was obligated to follow his orders for the sake of their deal. The whole plan sounded absolutely insane, but it was still a plan—far more than she was used to on her own crew.
And she really needed the money. Not just for shopping; being so poor again brought back too many painful memories of her childhood, of being poor and watching Bellemere eat nothing but mikans so her kids would have enough to eat. Of putting aside the majority of her haul after every job, counting down the days until she’d have enough to buy back her village. Of watching those shady Marines destroy the mikan grove, hauling away her stash so Arlong could keep her forever. Treasure was more than just shiny coins and cute outfits to her—it was a safety net, something she clung to as tightly as a child might a security blanket.
Money could keep monsters at bay, and now that she was stuck on a ship with the Surgeon of Death, that fact was more prominent than ever.
So as much as she wanted to refuse and wipe that smug glint from his eye, she knew he had her backed into a corner, where the most she could do was give in gracefully.
At long last, she sighed, “My dress better have pockets.”
XXX
Though she generally preferred casual clothes, Nami appreciated expensive things, and the gown Law had gotten her definitely screamed “money.” The gold satin overdress, embossed with darker gold leopard spots, draped over her curves magnificently, cinching tightly at the waist with a black and gold belt; the bottom had an under layer of stiff interfacing, allowing it to flare out like a ballgown without the need for tulle or petticoats while concealing a daring slit where she could slip her ill-gotten goods into the many hidden interior pockets or expose the pale flesh of her leg as a distraction. The plunging neckline was nearly to her sternum, and the long, billowing sleeves hid her signature tattoo. It was more like an extremely fancy robe in its design, and underneath was a skintight, black, spaghetti-strap bodysuit much better for sneaking around in, her Clima-Tact strapped to her thigh. A string of pearls and matching earrings completed the look—it wasn’t quite as fancy as what she was sure other women would be wearing, but it was what she had, and it was less conspicuous than going unadorned. If she were lucky, maybe she’d have the opportunity to swipe something better off a drunk heiress.
“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” the Cat Thief grumbled as she carefully applied eyeliner. A long, dark purple wig covered her orange hair, the loose, elegant curls pinned away from her face with a few barrettes inlaid with pearls, letting the rest cascade down her back like a midnight waterfall. Ikkaku had given her permission to use as much of her makeup as needed, and with a bit of contouring and highlighter, Nami could hardly recognize herself.
“I can,” the engineer chimed from her bed where she’d been studying the mansion’s blueprints. She and the rest of the crew were tasked with causing a number of diversions throughout the island that would draw away the guards and authorities, giving the pair inside the perfect opportunity to sneak away to the study. “He made you an offer you couldn’t refuse. Honestly, I’m kind of jealous.”
“What, you want to be Law’s girlfriend for the night? Because I’m willing to trade.”
“Hell no—last time we tried that cover, I couldn’t keep a straight face. Nearly tanked the whole plan. But it’s cute how far he’s willing to go to get you on his side. It’s even funnier that you pretend you don’t like it.”
Nami snorted, brushing on some mascara, pleased with how sultry the fanned-out lashes made her almond eyes. “I don’t like it. He’s a creep, and Luffy’s rival, and I’m still waiting for the day I wake up on his operating table, heart and liver and kidneys on display and ready for sale. Or for him to sell me wholesale to the highest bidder.”
Shaking her head, Ikkaku replied matter-of-factly, “He wouldn’t do that to you unless you really tried to fuck us over. Like, there was one guy who joined up not long after me who tried to sell Bepo to some slavers—Minks go for a lot at auctions. Captain’s not usually one for cold-blooded torture, but he made that bastard suffer. Last we saw him, the guy was in pieces being shipped off to separate corners of the four Blues.”
She shuddered at the image, though she couldn’t bring herself to fault his reaction. The more she got to know Bepo, the more she wanted to protect him, too, and from what she’d gathered, the bear was one of Law’s oldest and closest friends. “Now that I believe, but are you seriously not afraid of him? You’ve seen what he can do, and while he’s not as bad as I thought, you can’t tell me all of his reputation’s government propaganda.”
“Why would I be? Even if he was as ruthless as the papers say, Captain Law takes care of his crew. Plus, I’m indispensable around here, and I grew up with four older brothers, so I know a thing or two about how many buttons I can push before I’m in any real trouble.” She smirked, as if she’d just discovered a big secret. “You’re not scared because you think he’ll actually slice you up—otherwise, you wouldn’t backtalk him so much. What you’re really afraid of is the fact that you’re not at the top of the food chain anymore.”
It gutted her that her friend wasn’t wrong. Though Luffy was captain, from the get-go Nami had basically been the one who ran the ship, bending the others to her will with either her feminine wiles or her fists. And while she certainly had most of the Heart Pirates wrapped around her finger, she didn’t like that Law had real power and authority over her while her usual threats and tactics had minimal effect on the cool captain. “It’s far from the only reason, but yeah, it doesn’t help. Don’t get me wrong—you’ve all been super nice and accommodating—but I’m not exactly a trusting person. And Law’s way more…I guess intimidating is the best word to use, than Luffy ever was. So I’m not going to be joining the guy’s fan club anytime soon.”
“Fair, but just give Captain a chance, yeah? He might surprise you.”
Before she could argue that she wanted absolutely no surprises from the Surgeon of Death, there was a knock at the door, the raps against the metal quick and precise.
“Seems someone’s here to pick you up for your date,” Ikkaku sing-songed.
Hazel eyes glared at her bunkmate as she got up to answer the door. “It’s not a date, and if you call it that again, you’re gonna find out why exactly why I’m Head Bitch in Charge on the Sunny.”
Steeling herself, Nami smoothed down the stiff fabric of her gown, determined to treat this night with the same level of professionalism Law used in the infirmary. A few hours of acting, looking pretty, and sneaking around, and then she could plan her next shopping spree. And despite his arrogance and innuendos, she was sure Law would take this just as seriously—after all, it was his plan, and the payout affected the whole crew. He knew what he was doing, and with the amount of thought and care he put into crafting this elaborate scheme, there was no way he’d risk it by pushing her buttons. Perhaps the night wouldn’t be a total disaster.
Those reassuring thoughts flew out the window into the ocean depths to probably be eaten by a sea king the moment she opened the door.
“Please tell me that’s not your disguise.”
Looking down at himself, the Dark Doctor’s brow furrowed. “I see nothing wrong with it.” Admittedly, he looked good; midnight blue hair, including his goatee and sideburns, was dyed black, and he’d put in grey contacts to cover the distinctive gold. His suit was sleek black satin, the knee-length, high-collared coat cutting a rather dashing figure. The vest was black and gold brocade, shiny gold buttons and matching watch chain adding a little extra flare. In his hand was a polished mahogany cane with a silver handle shaped like a bird’s skull, and Nami wondered if it was secretly a sword like Brook’s.
Yes, she could admit Law looked very handsome, but it was a shit disguise. For god’s sake, he was still wearing his hat!
“You think some colored contacts and dying your hair is enough to fool people?” she said, exasperated. “You’re a Supernova; your wanted poster’s one of the most recognizable this side of the Grand Line. You didn’t even bother to cover up your tattoos!” she shrieked, pointing at his hands.
He seemed genuinely surprised at her criticism. “You think I should wear gloves, then?”
Nami could have screamed. She’d expect that kind of answer from Zoro or Luffy, not a man who prided himself on his intelligence. Grabbing his arm, she dragged him into the room, pushing him down into the chair by the mirror and snatching off his hat, tossing it onto her pillow. His lanky figure looked almost comical in the too-small seat, long legs sticking out awkwardly. “Stay there. You’re going to wear gloves, but if you need to take them off for some reason, we want those things covered.” Squeezing out some foundation into her palm, she mixed it with some bronzer until the shade matched his skin tone. “Hold out your hands.”
“I don’t care for being ordered around, Nami-ya,” he growled in warning. “Keep it up, and you’ll regret it.”
“Well, I don’t like the idea of getting caught and thrown in jail because you didn’t think the Marines would be suspicious of a guy with DEATH tattooed on his fingers.”
Though he didn’t look happy, he conceded her point, hands steady and still as she applied the makeshift concealer. Definitely the hands of a surgeon, she thought, admiring his natural control. It was comparable to her own when she picked a lock or drew a map; not so much as a tremor, even when under intense scrutiny. Pleased that the black ink was sufficiently covered, she quickly spritzed on some setting spray and finishing powder, hoping the foundation wouldn’t rub off inside the gloves.
Inspecting his face, she then tilted the captain’s chin up, dabbing some concealer under his eyes.
“The fuck are you doing, woman?” he snapped, jerking his head back as if she’d slapped him.
“Covering up those massive bags under your eyes.”
“The hands were one thing, but I’m not letting you put makeup on my face. Besides, I like the world knowing that I’m tired of its shit and ready to kill at any moment.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s totally the mindset of a respectable, non-pirate doctor,” she sassed, jutting out her hip in annoyance. “It’s not like I’m turning you into a drag queen; just covering up some of your more recognizable flaws.”
His brow twitched at the insult. “I’ll be wearing a mask, so why does it matter?”
“You can still see under your eyes, and they might make you take off the mask at check-in. Are you really willing to risk your ‘perfect’ plan because your fragile male ego can’t handle a little cover-up?”
“Oh, just listen to her, Captain,” Ikkaku chimed from her bunk, the Cheshire cat grin on her face declaring to them both that she was mostly getting involved for her own amusement. “Nami’s the infiltration expert here, and you’re the one who insisted she come with you. Just suck it up.”
“You’re fired,” he snapped, pointing at her sternly as he once more dodged Nami’s attempt to dab him with the sponge.
“You’ve fired me six times since I joined, and I’ll tell you the same thing I always do—get rid of me, and Shachi’s the most qualified person to touch up your tattoos. You want that?”
Law shuddered. “Fine, you’re not fired, but you’re on kitchen duty for a month.”
“Eh, fair enough. Now be a good boy and let Nami tart you up.”
His glare could have melted steel, but he stopped resisting as the navigator carefully covered up the proof of his insomnia. Nami had to admit, she was impressed; Ikkaku hadn’t been kidding when she said she had no fear of the Surgeon of Death. It was also nice to see someone else backtalk him, as most of the time the Heart Pirates seemed to worship the very ground he walked on. It made her feel less like the enemy.
As the dark circles disappeared, she had to admit, she kind of missed them. Even though they could make her tired just by looking at them, they were distinctive and a major part of his normal appearance, and he just looked so different without them. Younger, maybe, and less mysterious.
Normal. Boring. Just…not Law.
Sensing her scrutiny, he raised a dark eyebrow. “Something on my face, Nami-ya? I mean, besides the makeup.”
Suppressing a blush at having been caught, she replied, “Just trying to figure out if you need any highlighter or lipstick. I’ve got a lovely flamingo pink—”
“Try it and Mugiwara-ya will have to find a new navigator,” he snarled, the hard look in his eye and the openness of the threat sending a shiver down the spines of both women.
Not willing to risk her life just to embarrass a man, Nami backed away, hands raised in surrender. Relieved that he wouldn’t be subjected to any more of her powders or creams, Law inspected himself in the mirror, lips twisted in a grimace as he studied the difference it made to his face. Nami couldn’t tell if he was more annoyed at the indignity of it all or the fact that she’d clearly been right, but grey eyes flicked to his messy black hair.
“I guess the hat did clash with my outfit, huh?”
“To say the least.”
Without a word, he grabbed her hairbrush and began combing it back into something a bit neater and more respectable, even as Nami groused, “Don’t use my things without asking.”
“Fine. May I use your brush?” he asked, not even glancing at her as he kept brushing.
“No, you may not,” she snapped petulantly.
“Oh, dear. Whatever shall I do, then?” he chuckled, tossing it back on the vanity, smirking at her grinding teeth. His mood was infinitely improved now that he was back in control, and while Nami appreciated not having to worry about being dismembered, a minute part of her wished he’d go back to sulking. “Best get that anger out now, Nami-ya. Once we’re on the island, it’s all smiles.”
“You’re loving this, aren’t you?”
Getting out of the chair, he smirked down at her, pleased to once more have the height advantage so he could both figuratively and literally look down on the Straw Hat thief. “No, I’m enjoying this. What I’ll love is watching you try to keep that cute little temper of yours in check while we’re in public.”
“Asshole.”
“Only for you, sweetheart.”
A small vein throbbed on her temple. “Call me sweetheart again and there won’t be enough makeup on the Grand Line to cover up the bruises I’ll give you.”
“What an abusive girlfriend I have. I hope you at least kiss them better.”
“You wish. And if you’re going to be this much of an absolute prick all night, I’m charging you ten million belli per hour.”
“You want me to pay you to be my date? I wasn’t aware prostitution was part of your repertoire.”
“Congratulations; it’s now fifteen million.”
Ikkaku eagerly watched their back-and-forth like a particularly intense tennis match, grinning the whole time.
She didn’t feel particularly sorry for her captain or her roommate; both knew what they were getting into, provoking the other like that. No, she pitied the poor party guests, who had no idea what kind of unholy terror they were about to face.
Ah, to be a fly on the wall.
XXX
Tokken Island was one of the lushest and most beautiful little islands on the Grand Line, but the majority of the land was owned by Baron Harpin, forcing the port town to desperately cling to a jagged shard of the coastline while his enormous mansion and manicured grounds dominated the rest. Luckily, there were plenty of rocky outcrops and sea caves ideal for hiding the Polar Tang, and after teleporting his crew into position, the well-dressed pair made their way through the town.
“And why couldn’t you have Shambled us there or whatever it is?” Nami groused as she nearly stumbled for the third time. She was an expert at maneuvering in high heels, but that didn’t mean she was immune to the inherent dangers of cobblestone streets, especially ones so torn up.
Law chuckled as she finally accepted his proffered arm for support. The stubborn woman had refused to endure and physical contact with him until absolutely necessary, but it seemed the threat of a broken ankle before they could even get to the mansion had finally won her over. “My abilities take a lot of energy, and I’d rather save it in case we need to make a quick escape. Besides, I don’t want people getting suspicious if we pop up out of nowhere.”
She grumbled under her breath that he was probably doing it just to annoy her, even if, logically, he had a point. Wrapping her arm around his bicep for balance, she was finally able to turn her attention from the uneven road to the state of the town itself. Only about half the lanterns were lit, and what illumination they did give didn’t paint a very pretty picture.
The houses were run-down, roofs thatched haphazardly and some windowpanes packed with paper or rags instead of glass. The shops weren’t much better off, the display windows showing off rough-looking fishing supplies, underripe fruit, and cheap clothing. Only a few people were out, most looking worn-out or underfed, and those that didn’t stare at the pair of well-dressed pirates with envy watched them with hunger.
“If the Baron’s so wealthy, why’s the town in such a sorry state?” she wondered aloud. “I mean, just setting up this gala should have brought plenty of business to the port. Docking fees, restocking supplies, even sailors picking up cheap souvenirs—”
“There’s a private dock on the mansions’ grounds that he uses for deliveries and the like,” Law answered, barely sparing a glance at a skinny woman hoarsely calling out to passersbys, a basket of small trinkets thrust out towards them. “None of his business comes to the town—plus, he owns most of the farmland, so any crops are considered his property. All that’s really left is fishing, and the guy’s notorious for hating seafood, meaning these folks are shit out of luck.”
Biting her lip, Nami looked towards the woman again, freezing as a small child, yellow hair tied in twin pigtails down her shoulders, poked her head out from behind her frayed skirts. The little girl looked marginally less skinny than her mother, and without even thinking, the thief broke away from Law to inspect the woman’s wares. It appeared to be mostly jewelry—nothing particularly fancy but in the warm light of a nearby streetlamp she could tell it had been carefully made with decent materials.
“What are you doing?” Law hissed, looking around to make sure they weren’t drawing too much attention—most of the Baron’s guests wouldn’t lower themselves to pass through the slums like this, but he’d didn’t want to take any chances. That, and he wasn’t entirely sure there weren’t villagers desperate enough to try and mug them. He’d rather avoid a fight this early in the evening, and he didn’t want to get his nice, new suit dirty.
Ignoring him, she picked up a simple gold chain with a pendant made of four gemstones. They were beautifully polished, the marquise-cut purple tourmaline the color of the sky at sunrise. Their arrangement was reminiscent of Polaris, or perhaps the compass on her maps. “This is lovely,” she commented. “Is it locally made, or imported?”
The woman hastily explained, “My husband was once the Baron’s personal jeweler. He made beautiful pieces, but they were too simple for the Baron’s tastes. He wanted to impress lady callers, and demanded gaudier jewelry without providing the proper materials,” she said sourly. “My husband got sacked, and I’ve been trying to sell these off for a while. The necklace is 6000 belli on its own, or you can make me an offer for the set?” she said hopefully, indicating the matching ring and earrings in the worn basket, their delicate star designs winking in the dim light.
Immediately Nami could tell this woman hadn’t had any luck for a long time. The quality of the gems alone showed she was drastically underpricing the pieces. It was doubtful anyone in town could afford luxuries like jewelry, and if the Baron monopolized all the outside business at his own port, she probably never even saw other potential clientele. She was probably only even trying her luck now out of desperation. After all, you can’t eat gold, and with a small child to care for, any amount of belli would do.
“It would look really pretty on you,” the little girl murmured politely, large, purple eyes watching her in wonderment. Nami was certain she was the closest thing to a princess the child had ever seen, dressed in finery and on her way to an exclusive party at the glorious mansion on the hill. A real-life Cinderella, something out of a fairy tale she’d use to comfort herself on cold, hungry nights.
Nami had certainly been in those shoes, long ago, and she’d never been able to turn her back on a child in need. Her eyes were even the same color as the tourmaline in the basket.
Well, damn, she thought with a rueful smile. Poor kid could use a fairy godmother. Or at least a Cat Thief.
Pulling a black leather wallet out of her cleavage, she said, “I’ll take the set. How does 30,000 belli sound?”
Law’s jaw dropped as his eyes widened in recognition, immediately patting his pockets to confirm his suspicions. Coming up empty, he glared bitterly when the saleswoman replied, “Tha-that’d be perfectly fine!”
“You’ve got to be kidding,” Law grumbled as Nami pulled out some bills, handing them over with all the care of a woman who was fine spending money that wasn’t hers.
The thief matched his glare, tossing him the wallet. “What kind of boyfriend wouldn’t lavish his lover with jewelry?” she huffed, giving the child staring at her with blatant adoration a conspiratorial wink.
“What kind of girlfriend pickpockets her lover’s wallet?” he countered, checking the contents to make sure he was only out 30,000 belli. Satisfied that the rest of his cash was safely in place, he glanced at the little girl, his scowl faltering as his eyes fell on the awestruck face of the little girl. Quickly, his gaze darted back up to the woman who wronged him, glaring like a basilisk.
Fluttering her eyelashes, Nami replied, “The kind who knows just how generous her lover is,” she quipped before turning back to the jewelry seller to collect her purchase. For a moment, a pair of gold barrettes inlaid with clear stones—possibly diamonds, again in the marquise cut—caught her eye, but she knew better than to swipe Law’s wallet twice in one night. So, reluctantly, she only took her purchase, patting the little girl on the head in farewell. When the kid bobbed a curtsy in response, Nami couldn’t hold back her giggle, returning the gesture.
That kid’s going to have one hell of a story to tell her friends tomorrow, she thought cheerfully, jogging slightly to catch up with Law, who’d been less than the image of a handsome prince by storming off up the road without her.
Joining her date, she rolled her eyes in exasperation at the dark scowl on his face. Even without his hat, his black bangs cast ominous shadows over his eyes. He was walking even faster now, and she had to work to keep up with his long strides. It was petty, petulant revenge against the woman who had dared to get the better of him. “Are you mad that I took your wallet, or that you didn’t even notice?” she taunted lightly.
Even from the corner of his eye, his hawk-like glare made goosebumps rise across her shoulders. “I’m mad because you wasted our time and my money,” he snapped. “I already bought you your dress, mask, and wig. My ‘generosity,’ as you put it, has its limits.”
“I’ll pay you back,” she ground out, refusing to feel guilty for her actions. That little girl’s smile had been well worth the price of Law’s irritation, but she also knew she had to appease his anger if they were going to pull off their grand scheme. When he scoffed, she added reluctantly, “With interest.”
“Why’d you even bother?” he asked, indicating the jewels in her hand.
Pulling him to a stop under one of the streetlights, Nami switched her original earrings out for the bejeweled ones. “It’s for the cover. I’m supposed to be a rich doctor’s arm-candy, and my boring pearls would have looked way too simple, especially with this dress. With these, I’ll blend in better.”
“You could have just stolen them.”
She frowned at him, genuinely offended. “I steal from pirates and rich idiots who can afford it. Did you see that woman? I’d bet all the treasure on the Sunny that any money she got went to feeding her kid. I’m not going to even haggle with someone in that kind of situation.” A soft, sad smile graced her lips. “My mother did that. Claimed she was on a diet when she really couldn’t afford to feed all three of us.”
There was a moment of silence as she turned away from him, hoping to collect herself before she started bawling at the memory of Bellemere’s sacrifices. Silently, she thanked her adopted mother, willing back the stinging sensation of tears forming behind her eyes. Ruining her makeup before they even arrived at the gala would do them no good. Besides, Law would probably have some kind of smart-ass comment about it.
The refusal to let her temporary captain see her so weak, she brushed away her sadness to focus on her new jewelry. Slipping on the ring, she admired how it gleamed under the warm lamplight. It was a tad too big, fitting most comfortably on her middle finger, but she found the style suited her. She might even wear the set on a night out sometime; maybe to celebrate tonight’s success. Assuming the plan didn’t go to shit, that is.
She jumped when he finally responded, “I hate to say it, but that does look good on you.” When she turned her head, she couldn’t fight the sudden blush that spread across her cheeks. Worryingly, she couldn’t tell if it was due to his sudden, intimate proximity or the small, appreciative smile lifting his lips. Such an expression seemed too gentle for the famed Supernova, and yet she found she rather liked the way it softened and relaxed his features. “You’re surprisingly soft-hearted for a pirate, though.”
“Shut up,” she grumbled, struggling to maneuver the tiny clasp through her thick wig. Suddenly having so much hair was a real pain, and she wondered how she’d ever manage if she grew her own hair out. Short was more practical, after all, and looked cute on her to boot.
“Here, let me help,” his smooth voice whispered in her ear, and she felt her curls carefully gathered to rest over her shoulder. Nimbly, he took the necklace and fastened it securely around her neck. Tingles ran down her spine as the smooth leather of his black gloves brushed her bare skin, and the whole thing felt strangely intimate. Turning her around, Law studied his date. The pendant rested just above the dip of her bountiful cleavage, sparkling invitingly. “I’m pretty sure it’s still too simple for this crowd, but it works better than the pearls.”
Her reply was cut off by the curls she’d pinned up tumbling into her face, only to be swept back into place, secured by his deft fingers. He cupped her chin, appraising his work before nodding. Suspicious, because Trafalgar Law’s approval was never a good thing in her mind, she reached up to touch her hair, russet eyes widening when she felt gemstones instead of pearls. Head snapping back to look at the mother and daughter, her jaw dropped when she saw the little girl holding a wad of bills, beaming even more brilliantly than before while the saleswoman looked close to tears.
Turning to her partner in crime for the night, Law responded with a nonchalant shrug, though she could see his grey eyes soften as they lingered on the child excitedly waving back at them. “The pearl clips didn’t match the rest, and if we’re going to pull this off, we’d best go all-out. Plus, that cash’ll ensure their silence should they be questioned by the authorities later. I’d rather your kindness not get us identified.”
It was all very logical and well-thought-out and total bullshit. Nami had to smile as she once again took his arm, matching his easy gait as they made their way up towards the mansion. “Right. Because I’m the soft-hearted one.”
“You’re paying me back for those, too, by the way,” he quipped, smirking at her annoyed growl.
Before she could argue, he halted; the brilliant lights of the mansion were in sight, and small groups of well-dressed guests were gathering at the ornate front gate. It was time to stop being Cat Thief Nami and the Surgeon of Death Trafalgar Law, bickering pirates, and become a loving couple. Gently as a forest stream, Nami adjusted her body language, leaning comfortably against her partner, hand clutching his bicep possessively, face switching from a seething scowl to the deliriously happy grin of a woman pathetically enamored with her companion.
For his part, Law seemed to morph into his role just as fluidly, posture straightening into something more refined, his smile relaxed and charming; perfectly playing the part of a man who knew he was smart, good-looking, successful, and could easily use all that to get a woman as beautiful as the one on his arm.
Inside, Nami groused that he had the way easier acting job.
As they made their way up the mansion’s long, winding front path, crushing artfully sprinkled rose petals beneath their feet, Law slipped on a raven mask, the sharp beak curving over his nose and the shiny black feathers fanning out like little spikes over his cheeks and forehead. Nami was grateful she’d covered up his dark circles—the eye holes were definitely wide enough where they would have been distinctly visible.
In contrast, her mask was modeled after a cat, the color and leopard spots mimicking her gown perfectly. It flawlessly concealed the upper half of her face, while the large eyeholes showed off her beautiful eyes and wouldn’t block her sightline too badly.
Approaching the doorman, Law handed over their invitation, smirking when the servant checked it against the guest list before nodding, ushering them both inside. Another servant led them down an extravagantly decorated front hallway. The doctor hadn’t been kidding when he’d said the Baron was an art collector with expensive tastes; masterpieces in gold frames hung along the walls, marble statues and painted porcelain vases were displayed on opulent pedestals, and even the crimson rug beneath their feet was luxuriously soft.
Nami had to briefly bury her head against Law’s shoulder to hide the belli signs that sparkled in her eyes.
Eventually, they reached the ballroom, and as they waited to be announced, Law affectionately brushed his lips across her hair. “Ready for some fun?” he murmured, his tone affectionate but the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips screamed of devilish intentions.
She mirrored his smile and tone, eager to line her pockets and relish in luxury for a while before the real job began. “Absolutely.”
As the ballroom doors opened, the servant next to them announced them to their fellow guests.
“Presenting Dr. Goodheart Adrian and his escort, Ms. Chaton Bellemere!”
#lawna#lawxnami#namixlaw#nami x law#law x nami#trafalgar law x nami#trafalgar D. Water Law#nami#one piece nami#op nami#op law#Fic: Welcome to the Heart Pirates#masqurade#One Piece Fanfiction#one piece#op fanfic#trafalgar law#cat burglar nami#cat thief nami#straw hat nami#heart pirate nami#dr. heartstealer#heart pirates#ikkaku one piece#one piece ikkaku#fanfiction#post-marineford
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(jail)Bait and Switch
Pairing: Sheith, bg onesided Allurance, bg onesided HunkShay
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Student/Teacher, Kissing, mild dirty talk and Keith’s filthy 18 year old brain, implied blowjobs, quite a bit of curse words, Keith is A Tease
Summary: Keith’s physics class gets a new student teacher. Keith has every intention of being as annoying as possible, but Oh Shit He’s Hot.
Keith fucking hates this class. He hates math. He hates fucking "I did not spend twenty years in school for you to call me Mister" Dr Slav. He hates that it's fucking first period. He hates that fucking Lance McClain sits behind him and pokes him in the back of the neck with a pencil whenever he falls asleep.
If this class wasn't literally required for him to take for the degree he needed to work at Space X he Would Not be taking it.
So when they come back from spring break and Dr Slav introduces his new student teacher he has decided he is going to at the very least have a little fun during it by annoying the shit out of them.
He damn near chokes on his own tongue when Dr Slav introduces Mister Takashi Shirogane as his new student teacher though. No one should be able to make purple argyle look that fucking good. No one. Mister Takashi "call me Mister Shiro" Shirogane had silver hair that made Keith question if he needed to change his career path to sugar baby and dark eyes that hid behind glasses and a sharp scar across his nose that made him look just a little bit dangerous and fuck if that wasn't a thousand watt smile. Ugh. Yeah. He needed to change his plans. Scratch operation annoy the shit out of the peppy student teacher. Begin operation get the student teacher to bend him over the desk. And from the looks of the rest of the class. He had competition.
Something was on his side though, because the next day Dr Slav asked him to hang back after class. "Mister Shirogane, this is the top of the class, Keith Kogane. He has a bit of a disciplinary problem. And a mouth." Keith could feel Slav glaring. " But if you're looking at my seniors for a research assistant. This is the only one worth glancing at." Shiro laughed good naturedly. "I think you have a great group of student, Dr Slav." He adjusted his glasses, pushing them up the bridge of his nose. "But, it's good to meet you Keith. You must be some student to catch Slav's attention." Keith hoped he looked as effortlessly cool as he was trying to with his hands in his pockets and his gaze towards the door. "Yeah. Same." "Um, I'm looking for a research assistant to help me with my senior thesis. I'm an astrophysics major and I'm really hoping to help send the first manned mission to Kerberos... Its--" "One of Pluto's moons. Is it paid?" That seemed to catch Shiro off guard and he blushed. "N-no! But I'd be happy to give you rides to the lab at campus and meals and stuff while you're there. I uh... Yeah. The schedule is flexible, but you look like you're a flexible kinda guy and well if you're interested..." Keith had to mentally force himself not to Flip Out at the student teachers seemingly completely unintentional double entendre. He had no problem showing Shiro just how flexible he could be. He grunted. "Guess I'm interested. What are the hours." Shiro scribbled down his number on a sticky note with a quick "text me tonight, you're going to be late to English!" It wasn't until half way through English that he questioned how Shiro knew that’s what he had next.
The new english lit student teacher was here on a visa if her accent was anything to go by. He thought about annoying her since Shiro had been a busy, but Lance wouldn't stop hitting on her. He pitied the heck out of her for that. Thank God his next class was not with Lance. "Heard you new student teacher is hot," Pidge stated without pretense. "Yeah, Lance says he looks like a nerdy Adonis." Keith shrugged, and passed Pidge a white powder to mix into their solution. "I guess." "And then slav asked you to hang back." Pidge wriggled her eyebrows at him. "What's up with that?" Keith smirked, hand reaching into his pocket for the sticky with Shiro's number. "Wouldn’t you like to know.
He texts Shiro an "its Keith from Slavs class" that night and falls asleep thinking about Shiro's strong hands pinning him to the chalkboard and asking him why his homework is late. When he wakes up he has a text "Hey Keith, Hope We can meet up soon to discuss specific hours. I'd love to give you a tour of the lab and observatory! --Shiro" What kind of dork signed their texts? He'd see him in class today. No point in texting back now. He scrounged through the closet for the jeans that were both the least dirty but also the tightest, a black pair, and grabbed the first shirt he found. He'd wear his jacket all day anyways. When he pulled into the school he was early and he strategically hung out on his motorcycle near the teachers lot until he saw Shiro get out of the noisiest station wagon the school had ever seen. He was shocked the thing was still running. Time to make his entrance.
Keith ran full force into his student teacher. And then proceeded to cuss as said student teachers nose started bleeding where he’d for all intents and purposes headbutted him. “Shit, Mr Shiro!” He was helping pull the man up and pressing the sleeve of his hoodie to his nose before the older man could stop him. “You okay?” He straightened the man’s bangs as he continued to press the cotton of his hoodie to his face. “Maybe we should go to the nurses office?” Shiro looked defeated, clearly not wanting to talk with his students hand pinching his nose shut. “’s go to the nurse.” Shay helped Keith slip off his black hoodie and continued to keep the pressure on Shiro’s nose. “You’re lucky Keith here knows a decent amount about first aid.” She smiled. “He’s gotten his fair share of bloody noses.” Keith snorted. “I give more than I get.” “Well I can see that.” The secretary ruffled his hair. “Now what happened here? I really hope you’re not picking fights with teachers.” “It was an accident, just ran into each other in the parking lot not paying attention.” Shiro nodded in agreement, slowly releasing the pressure on his nose to see if the bleeding had stopped. “Keith, I’ve got to go field attendance calls. You take good care of Mister Shirogane.” With that Shay slipped out of the room. “I think it’s stopped,” Shiro said hesitantly. “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. It was an accident.” It wasn’t. But they were in the basically closet that served as a nurses office and he was close enough to see the creases next to Shiro’s eyes when he smiled and he couldn’t feel even a little bit bad. “Yeah–” Keith wetted some paper towels in the small sink and passed them to Shiro “– but I should’ve been more careful.” Shiro shrugged, and then gave a small smile as he wiped at his face and hands. “I mean if you really want to make it up to me, you can always take me up on that assistant position.” Keith took another step into the man’s space and held his hand out for the red tinged paper towel he was holding. Shiro handed it to him. He put two fingers under Shiro’s chin and tilted it up. He licked his bottom lip and dabbed the damp towel under Shiro’s nose again, gently, and then across his bottom lip. "Missed a spot.” He smiled. Shiro flushed the most brilliant red and gaped. Keith stepped back easy, tossing the bloody towels into the trash can under the sink. “And I think I’d like to see that lab, Mister Shiro.” Keith skipped first period and spent it hiding on the roof with Ezor, who was doing an art independent study and had her corner litteredp with paints and bright stained puddles where chalk pastels had been left in the rain and a smattering of scarf scraps that had been hacked up for their fringes. He couldn’t pretend to be cool in front of Shiro any more today than he had. Maybe skipping class would make think Shiro think he was mysterious or something though. Fuck it. “Ugh I wish the models Mr Iverson used in class had your bone structure. "M not modeling Ezor, I’m ditching. "Well you’re sitting perfectly still in my space, so I think that makes you my model.” She winked. He grunted and made an effort to move every thirty seconds after that. By the time lunch rolled around Lance still hadn’t seen him that day and was shocked when he plopped down next to Pidge and started shoving fries into his mouth. “Dude where were you this morning? Mr Shiro said he needed to give back your hoodie. You left it with him this morning?” Hunk choked on his milk and Pidge gave him the most conspiratorial of grins. “Yeah, so? Didn’t feel like listening to the Slave driver. Sorry.” “Are you…?” He waved his hands vaguely in the direction of the building where their physics classroom was. “Waving my hands?” Lance glared and lowered his voice. “Are you sleeping with the student teacher?” “Not your business, Lance.” Lance looked like his head was going to explode. “I’m gonna have to ditch game night, by the way, guys,” he changed topics, sort of. “Shiro has something to show me at campus.” He was definitely going to give Lance an aneurysm. “Okay. Suit yourself. We were gonna plan Monsters and Mana. Matt even volunteered to be the Dungeon Keeper.” Pidge got up to bus her tray. “Damn.” Keith did love M&M… But hot TA and fodder to hang over Lance’s head. “I’ll have to catch it next week.” He waited until most of the students had left the school to move his bike to the teachers lot next to Shiro’s car. He debated the pros and cons of positioning himself leaning against the hood of the car or straddling his bike when Shiro came out and opted for the bike. When Shiro stepped out of the school he caught Shiro’s swallow even as far away as he was. Keith grinned to himself and pocketed his phone. “Follow you?” “Yeah, it’s not too far.” Keith pulled his helmet on and waited for Shiro to get into his car before revving his engine just slightly more than he maybe necessarily needed to. It was indeed not too far. He was pretty sure this was the school Pidge’s brother went too. They parked in a garage and Shiro let him stash his helmet in his back seat while they toured the lab. Shiro talked animatedly about rocket ships most of the walk to the building and he promised he would wash his hoodie and get it back to him tomorrow. Keith shrugged.
"So you'd have to be in the lab at the same time as me since you're not a student but I'm usually here by myself unless Dr Holt comes in on the weekends--" "As in Sam?" Keith cut him off "Uh... Yeah. Samuel Holt." "Sorry, I'm just. His daughter is one of my best friends." "Oh yeah! Katie’s a sophomore now, right? And at your school too." "She goes by Pidge now, but yeah." Shiro laughed. "She used to hate when Matt called her that." Well. There went all his grand plans for trying to be the The Cool Guy. As soon as he talked to the Holts, that was going to be out the window. Shit. Might as well do what he could while he could then.
He perched on the side of Shiro's L desk kitty corner an ancient desktop as he pulled up data spreadsheet after data spreadsheet. "What--" he leaned forward, bracing one arm on the back of Shiro's chair and letting his breath ghost over the side of Shiro's neck and ear "--does this spike here mean?" He pointed out a blip in the data on the screen. He could see Shiro's shoulder tense under his thin sweater. "Um, it's a fraunhofer line from an element suspected to come from Kerberos." He leaned in a little closer. "Doesn't look like one I've ever seen." Shiro swallowed and turned his head to look at Keith. "No. No, it doesn't. Is this. Um are... Am I reading into this?" His face was positively red. Keith tilted his head just enough to question and seized this perfectly presented moment. "No, Mister Shirogane, I'm really interested in accepting this position under you..." There was only a few inches between their faces and Keith wanted nothing more to kiss this adorable man, but it was too soon. He sat up, never breaking the eye contact he had with Shiro, and slid off the desk. "What hours are you wanting me here?"
His student teacher couldn't look him in the eyes the rest of the week. His hoodie was folded neatly on his desk Friday morning, smelling of detergent and Shiro. He was probably making up that last part because he was crushing like a thirteen year-old girl. But fuck it.
His friends teased him about this as he burrowed his nose into it for the tenth time during lunch. He begrudgingly called Lance for help that night. "Black or blue jeans?" "Uh...." "Lance just tell me which one makes my ass look better. I know you know." Keith could practically see Lance putting the pieces together in his head. "Why~?" "Just tell me." "You're going to go see Mr Shiro, aren't you~?" Lance sing-songed into the phone. "Lance." Keith warned. Lance laughed. "Nah man, if this works, there's hope for me and Allura. Blue jeans. The dark ones. They bring out your eyes. And wear that baseball tee you think makes you look girly. The red one. Don't wear your bike boots. Sneakers. You've been doing that bad boy thing and it's dumb." "Have not." He hope Lance couldn't hear him pouting. "Have too. Mr Shiro is a nerd. Bad boy will catch his attention, but it won't keep it." Okay so maybe Lance had a point. "Thanks." "No problem! Let me know how it goes tomorrow!"
Keith bused to campus bright and early the next morning and could have kissed Shiro when he pressed a large iced coffee into his hands. Shiro laughed as he sucked down half the drink in five minutes. "I know, but it's best we get as much done in training as we can before Matt gets here and tries to tell you how to use a 'flux capacitor.'" Keith nodded and leaned against the wall of the elevator. "I think this is the first time I've seen you without your bike jacket. Didn't ride today?" "Too tired." "I'll give you a ride home when we are done here then." It wasn't a question, so he didn't respond, but he tried not to think too hard about how Shiro had noticed that he wasn't wearing his jacketo They ended up at a diner off campus and Keith was mildly less attracted to Shiro watching him try and fail to fit a burger covered in mac and cheese into his mouth without making a mess.
However this gave him the opportunity to reach out and wipe cheese sauce off off Shiro's cheek with his thumb and the bunny in headlights look he got in response was so worth how disgusting he thought it was to lick it off his thumb. "What?" He asked when Shiro put his flushed face into his hands. "That was um..." "It's not my fault you're a messy eater." Keith did his best impression of Shiro's thousand watt smile. Shiro just nodded, then squeaked when he felt Keith's sneakered foot rest gently on his knee under the table. "So how do you like student teaching?" "Uh, it's good. Overall I mean. Everyone has been really great. Slav’s difficult, but..." Shiro shrugged. "And the students?" "Oh, um. You guys are a good class?" He offered weakly. Keith grinned. "Nah, I skip once a week and Lance is an ass. And I'm pretty sure half the girls have given you love letters by now." Shiro squirmed in his seat. "Well I'm not..." "Straight?" "How...?" "Straight men do not wear argyle, Mr. Shiro." "Um... You can just call me Shiro. When we aren't at school. All my friends do." "Are we friends?" Keith didn't bother to hide his smirk. "I'd like us to be.... Friends" Shiro said thickly. "Yeah?" Keith let his foot fall --dragged it-- down the inside of Shiro's calf. "Is this something..?" "I mean I'd say an assistant is more of a working relationship, but if you wanna be friends we maybe do something fun sometime." Smooth, Keith, so smooth. "Ah, I guess you're right... Maybe a movie? Or the arcade? What do people do to socialize these days?" Keith smiled. "Too much time in your books?" "You have no idea."
When Shiro pulled up to his house to drop him off he wasn't quite sure what to do. A hug seemed too forward, but nothing weird too? "See you Monday, right?" Shiro asked. "Yeah. Monday." He nodded. He hesitated for a moment, but reached for the door handle, opting to not push his luck any further than he already had. He stretched as he got out, feeling his shirt lift a bit and smiled to himself where Shiro couldn't see him when he made a noise in his throat. He'd have to make it a point to wear this shirt more often. He almost had the door shut when Shiro blurted out his name. "Mmm?" He hummed and reopened the door. "Do you uh... Maybe want to catch a movie tomorrow?" "I think I'd like that a lot," he paused, "Takashi...." And gave Shiro what he really hoped was a sweet smile. Pidge would probably tell him he looked constipated. Definitely the most red he'd ever seen Shiro's face. Noted. "Co-ol," his voice caught half way through the word. "Text me?" "Sure thing." This time he shut the door and walked into the house before Shiro could respond. He was going to have his own personal flailing freak out and he needed the door between them when that happened.
Keith text Lance to tell him it went well and put his phone in his desk drawer to avoid texting Shiro too soon. When he did text Shiro, an hour later, it was with a short "you have anything you want to see tomorrow?" Fantasy Shiro in his head responded "You, baby, in my sheets." Real Shiro text back "there's a new horror movie out that looks pretty intense, but there's a sci-fi one that Matt says is really good too" Keith looked at the movie at their tiny local theater and could not find any horror movies. What the heck. "Horror sounds good, I can pick you up on my bike if you're not scared of riding." Also because Shiro's thighs around his hips. Keith groaned at the thought. Hell yeah. Shiro sent back an excited smiley and a "3:30 or 6?" Shiros thighs around his hips and his arms tight around him in the cool spring evening. 6:00pm. DEFINITELY 6:00pm.
He arrived at 5:30 on the dot the next evening, back in his usual leather riding gear, hair tied up in a ponytail. He handed Shiro a helmet and let him get situated before warning him he was going to want to hang on, smirk entirely devious. He was a speed demon without the desire to get Shiro to curl around him as he took sharp turns and whipped through yellow lights. Shiro was a surprisingly good sport about it whooping excitedly and shifting his body smoothly behind Keith. Having Shiro pressed against him felt as good as expected and he may have done a few unnecessary turns in the parking lot just to enjoy it an extra moment. Keith bought the tickets despite Shiro insisting that he had been the one to invite Keith. "You can get popcorn." "We are getting popcorn? What do you think I am, made of money?" Shiro tease, poking him in the ribs. Keith swatted his prosthetic hand away with a yelp. "Well I was kidding, but clearly not, since my assistantship isn't paid." Keith pouted "Hey, I offered to pay for the tickets!!" Shiro put a hand on his lower back and guided him towards the concession lines. Keith leaned into it, and practically melted when he didn't move his hand as they came to a stop at the back of the line. "Soda?" Shiro asked when they were up next. "Coke. I'm not an animal." Keith replied without hesitation. "God, you're perfect. Matt always makes us get diet fanta. I didn't know there was diet fanta." Shiro gave a shiver. Keith laughed. "Yeah, that's Pidge's favorite too. Nasty." They collected their things and Keith strategically lead them to a set of seats that already had the middle armrest raised so he wouldn't have to try to be sneaky about it. They sat shoulder to shoulder with the popcorn on Shiro's lap and the soda balanced between Keith's thighs. Shiro knew a shocking amount of movie preview trivia, which he blamed on Matt. And Keith insisted that he was unfit to teach physics because he liked Star Wars better than Star Trek.
It was not nearly as thick as he had been laying it on, which, he would later decide after a four way call that lasted the better part of two hours, was probably good. This was fun and easy and even though less direct "Takashi" was still blushing and smiling an awful lot. He did set his hand on Shiro's thigh about halfway through the movie though. And to his credit Shiro only tensed for a second before realizing Keith wasn't going to do anything else, and relaxing. The "horror movie" was actually a thriller with ghosts. It was not scary, but Shiro startled repeatedly, and Keith could feel him twitching every time a character did Something Very Stupid onscreen. Keith shifted and leaned over to whisper in Shiro's ear, "Ya know, he looks kind of like Slav... And the blonde guy looks like Mr Iverson with hair." Shiro snickered and turned to whisper back, "You're totally right!”
Keith leaned into Shiro's shoulder a little more after that. When it was over it was completely dark outside. "You want to grab food or...?" Keith let the question hang, holding the extra helmet out to Shiro again. "Sure, there's a Waffle House a few streets over?" Keith hummed and lifted his leg over his bike. "And I will pay!" Shiro readily settles his hands on Keith's hips when he situated himself again. And his brain was telling him how easily those hands.... Ugh. Why did he think riding his bike was a good idea again?! But then Shiro's legs settled along side his and he remembered exactly why. He just had not very thoroughly thought out the nuances of this decision.
Thankfully it was a short ride to the Waffle House, but it was bittersweet. He had to turn things back up juuuuust a little when the waitress told them they were just the cutest couple. "Yeah, Takashi is gorgeous. I'm a lucky guy." Shiro fumbled, clearly wanting to play along, but missing the beat as she asked for their drink order. "It's uh... I'm sorry." Shiro fiddled with his placemat. "For what?" Keith raised an eyebrow. "That she thinks we are a couple." Keith shrugged, trying to figure out how to best play that. "I don't mind. I meant that... You're gorgeous. And smart to boot? You're a hell of a catch." He winked. "Like you're not." And there was the hand over his mouth. "Takashi, are you flirting with me?" Well that sulky glare was probably deserved.
"Are you?" He pushed. "Are you?" Shiro hedged back. "You're too smart to have any doubt that I'm not." Shiro let out a huge sigh. "Oh thank fuck. I thought I was being a creepy pervert." Keith laughed aloud at that.
"I'm 18. No harm, right?" He gave Shiro a lopsided grin. "I know. Your birthday is on the class roster." Shiro sighed. "If you weren't 18, I wouldn't have asked you to be my research assistant. Matt can get a little... Weird.... Sometimes. " "Yeah he gets it from his sister." "Wouldn't it be the other way around?" "Absolutely not." "So um...." Shiro started after the waitress interrupted to take their orders. "I know you're 18, and it's not for lack of... Ah... Attraction. " He cleared his throat. "But I think it may be best to wait until after you graduate to uh... Start anything." Keith raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Think you can keep your hands off me for that long?" "No, but I'm going to try." Shiro sulked.
"Challenge accepted." Keith grinned wolfishly and took a drink for his water Shiro groaned. "You're gonna kill me.” Keith tongued at his straw between his teeth, still grinning. "Only if you don't fuck me." "KEITH!" He laughed again. "What?"
Keith drove Shiro back to the apartment where he apparently lived with the Lit student teacher, Allura, and leaned back against him, dreading the moment Shiro would uncurl from around him and get off the bike. They took their helmets off and Shiro twirled his short pony tail, humming thoughtfully. "I had a lot of fun tonight." "I did too..." He tilted his head up a bit and Shiro made a noise of protest before he pressed a firm kiss to Keith's cheek. "See you tomorrow?" "Yeah..." Shiro watched as Keith secured the spare helmet. "See that star up there?" Shiro nuzzled his neck, a little hesitant. "Between the far one on this constellation here..." He took Keith's hand and pointed. "And this real dull one here?" "Yeah?' "That one's ours, baby..." Keith blushed and sunk back against the solid mass behind him. "It should be about... There" he took Keith's hand to another point in the sky. "When you graduate." Keith nodded, understanding. Shiro pressed a kiss beneath his ear. "That's when I bend you over Slav's desk and fuck you until you forget everything but my name." "Oh fuck." Keith felt like the wind got knocked out of him as Shiro got off the bike. "What?" Shiro winked and grinned, looking at him over his glasses. "You started it." Keith swore the entire way home.
And that is how the next two months went, they would whisper salacious something's into each other's ears and press kisses along jaw lines and go home and pant the others name until they were an utter wreck, but Shiro kept fast on his promise of not until Keith graduated. And Keith was doing his best to break him. Prom night was close. Matt had bought Pidge a shitty handle of vodka and she had split it between the four of them before forcing her brother to drive them to the dance. They were all sloshed and he absolutely stole his chance to ask Shiro to dance with him. Shiro twirled him around, innocently enough, while Allura led Lance with a hand on his waist and Hunk roped Pidge into some semblance of sober slow dancing, staring longingly at secretary-slash-nurse Ms Shay. Shiro leaned close, and his hand tensed over the thin sweater covering Shiro's muscles. "Exams are next week. Have you thought about what you want if you get an A?" His lips just closed the barest bit over the edge of Keith's ear lobe and he about died in Thace's borrowed suit. "Shit. Whatever you're willing to give me." Shiro chuckled. "Now where's that cool, in control Keith I met the first week of class?" "You've fuckin ruined him," Keith huffed. "Tell me, baby." Shiro spun him and pulled him close. God, this man. "Want you to--" "My turn!" "Pidge, we are--" "Shhhhhhhhhhh. Best friend privileges. I have to protect your honor. Go dance with Hunk. Help him impress Miss Shay. He's trying. But it sucks." "Hi, Katie," Shiro greeted evenly. "If you hurt him, I will ruin your fucking life. Takashi Shirogane. Born 2/29/2031 to Mira and Kunikazu Shirogane in Osaka Japan. Immigrated to America in 2035. Dropped out of Galaxy Garrison's pilot program due to a suspicious training accident and relegated to Altea Tech's Astrophysics undergrad." "You've done you research?" "My brothers labmate or not. Keith is special." "I know, Katie. I mean to do right by him. I swear." She nodded and settled her head on top of his chest for the remainder of the song. "I'm gonna hold you to that...." Shiro held his pinky up. "I swear, Katie." She nodded and linked her pinky. "I trust you."
They left Shiro's station wagon in the teachers lot and Keith drove Shiro back to his house just off campus on his bike. "You uh... Want to come in?" Keith got off without question. "So uh... Katie....?" Shiro started, cracking open a beer and passing it to Keith. It was prom night. Fuck it. Keith groaned and took a long drag. "What did she do?" "More or less? She is going to fuck me up if I hurt you...?" Keith nodded sagely, staring into the distance. "Holts scare the shit out of me." Shiro lifted his beer and they clinked in a cheers. "Shiro....?" "Yeah?" "I don't want to be cliche as hell... But... Could you. At least kiss me tonight? I mean… for real?" Shiro wasn't half a step away before he finished the question. "Thought you would never ask." Shiro sealed their lips together, trying in all his pent up frustration to not push too much, and hoping the last two months of WANT came through.. And it did, Keith was practically melting with Shiro's hand cupping his neck and his prosthetic tight around his waist.
Shiro pulled away heavily. "You have me so fucked up..." "Huh?" Keith wanted back. Shiro snorted and spoke against Keith's plush lips. "'m torn between wanting our first time to be slow and loving, on my bed 'pstairs... Show you how beautiful you are to me... And fucking you stupid over that fucking morons desk. For spite." Keith groaned and dropped to his knees in an instant. "Let me show you instead?"
Shiro couldn't look Keith in the eye during class after that and Keith took joy in asking a ridiculous amount of questions during prep for the AP exams. He passed with a 4. Probably because Slav was insane and force them to know exceptions to the exceptions. Thace and Ulaz threw a modest graduation part for him, and he was glad for the year to fucking FINALLY BE OVER WITH.
Shiro took him on an official proper date. Where he drove. To a restaurant with cloth napkins. And then to a bar with a band. Shiro twirled him around the dance floor again. Except neither of them wore an an uncomfortable suit and he could definitely roll his hips against Shiro's without another chaperone flipping their shit. Shiro nips at his earlobe when he does that. He did it again. Smirked when Shiro's thumbs dig into his hips to pull him closer. "You are the worst." "You're not my student teacher." Shiro growled against the column of his throat. "You're right, Baby. I'm not."
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listened to rep in full twice today… every bait and switch was a work of art indeed
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