#every bait and switch was a work of arts indeed

[myohmine]

Seriously Louis and Taylor are the death of me.

Her Miss Americana was released on Netflix the day he released WALLS

His All Of Those Voices premiered in London the day she re-released Eye Open, Safe & Sound, If This Was A Movie, and also unlocked the vault for All Of The Girls You Loved Before

Please actually collaborate and release ONE THING together TOGETHER already

[7grandmel]

Rip of the week: 24/06/2024

YO-Kai Direction

Season 7 Featured on: Now That's What I Call Quality! 3

Ripped by DonnieTheGuy

Y'know, funny story: a part of me genuinely thought I'd made this post already, and I had to double-check my posting archive three times over just to make sure. Because for as much Season 7 glazing as I've done on here, YO-Kai Direction is the kind of rip that absolutely deserves that love, as such a perfect rip from one of SiIva's most surprise breakout events in recent memory. Hell, last time I was covering the event in question, this rip only barely lost out from being covered instead of Beautiful Dreamer - but, in earnest, I believe two legends should indeed be able to coexist.

I've learned a lot from running this blog, but one of the biggest breakout surprises to me was learning just how incredible of a ripper DonnieTheGuy truly is. He joined the team around when I was paying less attention to the channel in general, and didn't exactly have a loud internet personality for me to learn of otherwise - yet rip by rip, from the blog's very first in Running Through Cookie Country to later-covered examples like Epic Rap Battles of History: Funny vs. Funnier and Remember when this song was the one related to toilets?, I began realizing just how powerful the guy is. A master chef that works in the background, even working to provide tons of assets to help people get into ripping themselves, sharing samples, samples and much more. But even if I wasn't aware of all that, even if I wasn't aware of just how much of a menace he is even off of SiIva when it comes to Twitter shitposts (the Digital Circuit edit trend where he made like 20+ edits on his own for instance), YO-Kai Direction would've likely convinced me on its own of DonnieTheGuy's prestige.

I recall saying to myself back when I wrote Beautiful Dreamer that one of the reasons that I picked it over YO-Kai Direction was just due to how much I'd already featured YO-KAI Disco, and Yousuke Yasui's music in general, on here. 【＝３】e-MUNO Disco (vs. 音MAD AGENT) was effectively the rip that made me INVESTED invested in the art of high quality ripping, WA-HOO DISCO shows just how much Super Mario 64's sound can and has been pushed by the SiIva team, Siiva Lining just outright slaps - you get it. But we're now in the golden age of ripping quality, where it feels as if every rip made is touched by some benevolent gods ensuring that it does WAY more than it necessarily needs to in order for its proposed joke to work. Because like, YO-Kai Direction is an incredibly simple premise on the surface, mashing up the all-too-known YO-KAI Disco with What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction as part of the One Direction event. Back in, say, Season 1, that would've been the end of it, but there's so many small touches added by DonnieTheGuy that shows just how invested he was in utilizing One Direction's sound to the fullest.

And honestly, when the One Direction event began, I was initially a bit disappointed, as it took the place of the channel's annual "9/11 event", which had previously given us incredibly bait-and-switch events like what brought us SUNGORE in 2020. Initially I figured that I had no stake or familiarity with One Direction and so the event was completely out of my wheelhouse...but not only was I SURPRISINGLY familiar with What Makes You Beautiful in particular, I also had no clue that the team was so excited and ready to start using it. It gave me flashbacks to Season 6's Big Time Rush event which brought us Famous Surprise, only with even more people firing on all cylinders for it. Because again - in many other eras, YO-Kai Direction would've just been a mere mashup, but DonnieTheGuy goes the extra length to pitch-shift it all to something absolutely heavenly.

Without ever leaving that original pitch for the rip, YO-Kai Direction masters the art of escalation in a way that's so well done, it's hard to even notice with how well it fits in. It begins as a seemingly normal mashup with a slightly increased BPM speed of YO-KAI Disco being used as to match the One Direction song, but then at the second go around at the verse's melody it becomes more YTPMV-esque, editing soundbytes from What Makes You Beautiful into the melody of the source track, as if to communicate the two tracks merging - "You're insecure, but you walk-walk through the do-o-or!" is pulled off with just a slight stutter and pitch-shifting that's immediately noticeable if you're paying attention to it, yet fits so well as to initially sound just like an extension of the initial mashup. This then carries on into the bridge, before finally exploding in the chorus - wherein every part of One Direction's vocals are pitch-shifted to amazing effect. It's hard to put into word without repeating myself just how well done this build-up is, but the end result is obvious - a genuinely amazing listen.

All the while, slight elements of What Makes You Beautiful's instrumentation seem to be sprinkled into the rip, sounding almost as if they had just been dug out of the mix of the original YO-KAI Disco. That's the theme of the whole rip, and to be clear - ABSOLUTELY not meant as a negative. The way in which DonnieTheGuy managed to make YO-Kai Direction sound almost as if it was a natural collaboration between One Direction and Yousuke Yasui is actually insane, yet it still subtly honors the traditions of what makes the greatest SiIvaGunner rips as good as they are. I won't sugarcoat it - on many days, humming YO-KAI Disco in public, THIS is the version I'm humming.

[iwanthermidnightz]

Every bait and switch IS a work of art INDEED!

At first I’m like Taylor just wants to move on with this new free chapter in her life as she should, but maybe not before being a little petty first (not because she’s heartbroken) but because karma for all the people who kept taking and taking from her, and taking advantage of her generosity.

[zicygomar]

Man, remember just how wild watching Pop Team Epic was like in early 2018? Some highlights:

PTE occupied a full show’s timeslot, but each “episode” was the same half-length episode run twice back-to-back.

One run had the leads voiced by female voice actors, and the other run by male voice actors.

The second run could feature additional or alternate gags.

The voice actors for Popuko and Pipimi changed every episode.

It may be obvious, but remember that it was intended to air on TV, not just online streams. PTE’s first episode starts with a bait and switch, starting with a intro teaser and a full OP for a made-up romcom magical girl idol show called “Hoshiiro Girldrop”. Viewers just picking it up wouldn’t know it was indeed Pop Team Epic until Popuko angrily interrupted the OP by tearing through the screen.

Every episode preview was for Hoshiiro Girldrop.

Literally any of AC-bu’s Bob Epic Team/Bobunimimimi segments.

They got a French animator to create his own set of segments. Thibault Tresca had never read Pop Team Epic before and was encouraged to NOT research it while working on it.

This resulted in the JAPON MiGNON segments, where Popuko and Pipimi visit France and speak French. Japanese subtitles were not provided until the repeat run.

JAPON MiGNON segments were the only sketches where Popuko and PIpimi were shown blinking.

Hellshake Yano

Male pop idol star Shouta Aoi appeared as himself. Also he’s a time traveler tasked with saving Popuko and Pipimi from some great conspiracy.

Earth, Wind, and Fire music video but it’s stop motion felt puppets.

In one episode, they put sound effects over the OP.

The show frequently takes shots at King Records, its publisher and one of the biggest record labels in Japan.

University student Makoto Yamashita was invited to do segments in his specialty of video game pixel art and effects. It was also counted as his senior thesis.

He put in an Undertale segment.

Producer Kotaro Sudo had trouble convincing King Records to greenlight the show. His department head told him every producer gets a sort of free greenlight in their career, but only one. Sudo cashed his in.

Many anime are funded by a production committee made up of various other companies, in order to spread cost and defer risk. PTE was produced solely under King Records, meaning if it flopped, they’d bear the full loss. Nothing a top record label can’t stomach, but TV shows still ain’t cheap.

If the final episode, King Records, which exists in the show, transforms into some sort of monster castle mecha. Popuko and Pipimi combine into a golden fusion of themselves and destroy King Records.

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

All the obsessing over which re-record is next. When will we learn not to rely on what we think we know. Every bait and switch was a work of art INDEED

We're such silly clueless babies

[adecila]

oh I love indie taylor for dany! I could see her writing willow about her and jon. “every bait and switch was a work of art” indeed! 👀

[feysandfeels]

Bless that T Swift/SJM crossover anon!! Can I add some other ones?!

The 1 - Chaol & Celaena after she’s Aelin again (or Chaol & Nesryn.....poor Chaol)

The Last Great American Dynasty - more like the Last Great Terrasen Dynasty lol

My Tears Ricochet - Aelin @ Arobyn

Mirrorball - Lysandra

Mad Woman = AELIN

The Lakes - Aelin talking about Rowan when she’s tired of it all

Not my (Chloe Ting sponsored) ass realizing just now that the original anon meant all the sjm pairings, but since I’m deep in the acotar trash atm I only made those. 

ACOTAR I & II

Apologies jeje. 

Manorian: generally speaking they have such reputation vibes. Immaculate record for immaculate couple.

... Ready for it? - “But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom Holdin' him for ransom” // “Younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so I see nothing better, I keep him forever Like a vendetta-ta” // “You should see the things we do, baby In the middle of the night, in my dreams I know I'm gonna be with you So I take my time Are you ready for it?”. Listen do I really need to explain this or do we all just see it?. This song has the electricity, the sexyness, the roughness, the daring aspect that makes manorian be the GOD tier couple that they are. 

I’d Lie - Right, bare with me  but I will lol at this forever because Manon is basically “And I could tell you his favorite color's green He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes And if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie”. It’s such a weird song to associate with them but it fits her so well hahahahaha because my girl lives in such denial that I just can’t hahahahahahaaha and like “I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine” this is MANON FOR DORIAN ALL THE TIME, and everyone is like but we see you wanting him so just do something about it!!!

Rowaelin

Willow - this screams Rowan looking at Aelin: “Wherever you stray I follow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans That's my man”. He straight up left Maeve and the blood pact thingy they had for the blond girl he met three months prior. Also “Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark Show me the places where the others gave you scars Now this is an open-shut case Guess I should've known from the look on your face Every bait and switch was a work of art”, this speaks of the vulnerability shared through HoF about their scars and of Rowan realizng that every step he took was so he would met her. Willow is Rowan’s song for Aelin. 

The Lakes- LET HER GO TO TERRASEN WHERE ALL THE POETS WENT TO DIE, LET HER STAY SO THAT WISTERIA GROWS AROUND HER FEET BECAUSE SHE HASN’T MOVED IN YEARS. 

Elorcan

Hoax - the balance of the deep betrayal and the love, the hurt and the I would choose you again all of the nuances of Lorcan’s betrayal and the shattered illusions that speak of them even in their absences, are in Hoax: “Stood on the cliffside Screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would dI believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do”.

Lysandeon

Paper rings- “The wine is cold Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street Cat and mouse for a month or two or three Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe”. This song matches their energy so well even if the lyrics don’t all offer exact parallels. They did however play cat and mouse for a month or two or three. “I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings Uh huh, that's right Darling, you're the one I want” Lysandra being accustomed to the finer things in life but she would slum it for Aedion; she is here for thick and thin.

Nesraq: 

Gorgeous - “Of your magnetic field being a little too strong And I got a boyfriend (Chaol), he's older than us He's in the club (palace) doing, I don't know what (Yrene....) You're so cool (Sartaq really is the coolest), it makes me hate you so much (I hate you so much)” // You make me so happy (dude Nesryn loves spending time with him and he feels valued), it turns back to sad (fuck what about Chaol.. we promised each other it give it ago), yeah There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have (because he’s the prince and I’m not royal) You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad”.

Chaorene: 

Dancing with our hands tied - even if the lyrics don’t create perfect parallels, I think the main theme of the song being two people that want to be together, but feel their relationship has a lot of baggage would fit them well. Yrene has to get over her hate for Adarlan (even though she has every every every right to hate Adarlan) and Chaol has to get over *himself*. “I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche? And say, say that we got it I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted”.

 Sam x Celaena:

I know places - them trying to run away so they could find a safe place to be in love? indeed. Me crying right now because they never got to? you bet: “'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes And guns They are the hunters, we are the foxes And we runBaby, I know places we won't be found and They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down Cause I, I, I, I know places we can hide, I, I (...)”.

Dorian x Celaena: 

The Way I loved you - To Dorian from Aelin... with love, friendship love that is. Because she recognizes the potential in him, in them, she knows he would be good to her and she knows that she indeed fell for him hard enough to want him for herself, but it just doesn’t feel like *that* anymore.

Red - From Dorian’s perspective: “Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly”// “Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted Was right there in front of you Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words To your old favorite song Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword And realizing there's no right answer”. They were literally a crash and burn. But neither of them can actually bring themselves to regret it. It was fun while it lasted and in its way it brought them closer. 

Chaol x Celaena: 

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - self explanatory, this is them through QoS. My Celorian ass is here for this pettiness I will take no criticism.  

Forever and Always - “Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide Like a scared little boy I looked into your eyes Thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure So here's to everything coming down to nothing Here's to silence, that cuts me to the core Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore” This was essentially Chaol’s thought process wondering why him an Celaena don’t work anymore and feeling like... a “we were supposed to be together 5ever what happened.... besides me not doing much to prevent her bff’s death and working for the dude that orchestrated the murder of her nation ?”

August - if I’m being honest this song fits them too not my fave song from folklore being for my least favorite couple in this story but if I gave Feylin some of my all time favorites I can give this one to them, but like “But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine Your back beneath the sun Wishin' I could write my name on it” Even though Chaol was ready to leave it all for her (he would literally cancel plans.. his life plans in case she’d call) she knew that this was an impossibility, their time was brief and it slipped away like a bottle of wine. She could never be his, because she was not entirely herself with him being Aelin meant opening up a lot of things and if Chaol had a hard time getting past a lot of Celaena’s traits then we can imagine the work, literally work he would have to do to accept Aelin... you know what, we don’t have to imagine it... it’s right there in QoS and ToD, anywho, he could never write his name on her back because she was never his, because he did not accept her for all that she was. 

Aelin x Dorian x Chaol: 

Long live - “I  said, remember this moment, in the back of my mind The time we stood with our shaking hands The crowds in stands went wild We were the kings and the queens” // “Will you take a moment? Promise me this That you'll stand by me forever But if, God forbid, fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children some day When they point to the pictures Please tell them my name Tell them how the crowds went wild Tell them how I hope they shine Long live the walls we crashed through I had the time of my life, with you” // I’m emotional right now and I need to cry it out.

I’m not 100% sure on the Chaoyrene one... but I think it’s good enough for me to post this hahaha

Anywho, I hope whoever asked for this enjoyed it 💛💛

[spade-riddles]

'And there was one prize I'd cheat to win'

So every bait and switch was a work of art indeed🤔 now this song takes another new level

[red]

A little something to ponder: "every bait and switch was a work of art" - is the work of art a bait and switch, or, are these bait and switches works of art in and of themselves?

this is very galaxy brain anon and my brain is fried but i interpret it as literal as it sounds that the works of art were indeed the bait and switches 😭

[miraclerizuin]

call down the hawk reread

I need book 2 YESTERDAY.  for all the obvious reasons but mainly because what the fuck was that ending.  not necessarily a bad wtf just... what.  I am hoping book 2 will help me figure out what I think of it; I love the rest of the book but I have trouble with the ending

I had added willow to my ronan/adam playlist but maybe it is actually a jordan/declan song?  I mean, should he have known from the look on her face?  is there one prize he’d cheat to win?  every bait-and-switch was indeed a work of art

went back and read the scene where ronan & adam are dancing in the kitchen for a third time just now.  feel things

adam having no pov chapters in this book feels deliberate and important and I am totally fine waiting 2 months to find out any more about this!  it’s fine!!!

spent a lot of time during declan’s chapters thinking about the ways he is and is not like gansey.  they both hide so much of themselves.  but declan is a Liar(tm) and gansey is... a chameleon?  idk im still working on this

you are made of dreams and this world is not for you etc

[swiftful-thinking13]

every bait and switch was a work of art, indeed

[iwanthermidnightz]

lol Taylor really put “toe” songs with songs about performing for others aka performing heterosexuality. Every bait and switch was a work of art, indeed. How will the hetlors explain this one.

I think this is my favorite chapter

[anubislover]

Welcome to the Heart Pirates, Nami-ya Chapter 5: The Masks We Wear

“You are, without a doubt, the most arrogant asshole I’ve ever met!” Nami screamed, her voice echoing down the steel hallway. Most of the crew had taken cover in any room they could find—things had been tense ever since the sunburn incident over a week ago, everyone walking on eggshells waiting for Law’s inevitable revenge. They all knew it wouldn’t be right away; the man liked to take his time, meticulously planning while his victim was lulled into a false sense of security, thinking he had forgiven and forgotten. There was already a large betting pool on what would happen and when, with theories ranging from her waking up to a room full of organs to being forced to wear a skimpy nurse uniform.

Most were silently praying for the latter.

Across from her, Law glared, arms crossed and knuckles white as a small vein popped in his neck out of frustration. They’d been arguing for nearly ten minutes, and for a man who was used to having his orders followed immediately and enthusiastically, it was quickly growing wearisome. “And you’re the most infuriating little witch I’ve ever encountered. I’m not even asking much; it’s completely within your skillset.”

“Like hell it is! You’d have more luck convincing me to wear your crew’s stupid jumpsuits!”

“And deprive my men of seeing you prance around in practically nothing? Morale would tank.”

She crossed her arms, scowling. “Then we agree; I’m not doing it.”

“Our agreement was that you work for me; that means you listen to my orders and carry them out, no arguments.”

“I absolutely never agreed to the ‘no arguments’ part.”

“All I’m asking is for you to pull your weight by using your skills as the Cat Thief to assist me in a little infiltration job. Or do you not know how to act like a lady?” he taunted.

She bristled at the insult but refused to take the bait. “I already pull my weight; I help Bepo with his maps, guide you through storms, and do my share of chores.”

“I’ll concede to the first two, but I know you’ve been conning the men into doing your cleaning.”

She didn’t even try to stop the pleased smirk from curving her lips. “I can’t help it if they feel like being gentlemen by taking on some extra mopping so I can dedicate my time to more important matters.”

“And you thank them by stealing their wallets.”

“It’s no secret I’m a thief; they should know better than to let their guards down around me. Consider it training; you said I shouldn’t let my skills degrade, and a pretty face like mine could be their downfall if they don’t smarten up.”

“That’s the only reason I haven’t removed your hands for it, Nami-ya,” Law replied sourly. “That being said, I’m ordering you to stop stealing from them. It’s not nice to take advantage of your crew.”

Infuriated, she jabbed him in the chest. “They’re not my crew! We’re in a temporary alliance, and I’m fine working with them, but I’m a Straw Hat! Get that through your pigheaded-skull!”

A hand shot forward, grabbing her wrist and pulling her close to Law’s tall, imposing form. “For all intents and purposes, until the year is up, you’re a Heart Pirate. I said when you first arrived, I intend on making the most of having you on my crew, and I meant it.” Arguing was getting him nowhere, so he quickly changed tactics. A shiver ran up Nami’s spine as he leaned close, hot breath ghosting over her sensitive ear and neck. “You’re stealthy, clever, beautiful, and one of the best burglars on the Grand Line. I can’t imagine a better partner. With our combined skillsets, a job like this should be both easy and extremely profitable. I just need your help searching the place for some classified documents once the party’s in full swing.”

A hint of pink dusted her cheeks at his flattery. “Documents?”

“Inside the main study is a safe full of Marine codes, reports on the various atrocities they’ve caused in the name of ‘justice,’ names of soldiers infiltrating pirate crews—all things that go for millions of belli on the black market. Besides that, our target is known for having expensive tastes. Bejeweled trinkets, high-end art, gold statuettes; the man’s loaded.”

Nami couldn’t help it; belli signs flashed in her eyes at the thought of getting her hands on that treasure. Law’d said he had a big job planned, and clearly, he wasn’t kidding.

It was clear that he had her attention, so the Dark Doctor pressed on, voice dropping an octave to seductively murmur, “And that’s just the study. Imagine all the rich pockets you could pick at the party. Far more profitable than my crew, and anything you manage to steal on your own is completely yours; I won’t even demand a cut.” Brushing his free hand across the sleeve of her borrowed shirt, he added, “I was even generous enough to buy you a new dress for the occasion, since you’ll need to look the part of a rich doctor’s lover.”

As much as she hated it, she was wavering. When he’d first proposed—or more specifically, ordered—she escort him to a party as his date, she’d refused on principle. But damn, after only a month, he was starting to figure out her weaknesses, and right now, money was a big one. She had very little to her name on the ship; most of her clothes were borrowed from Ikkaku, and while they’ve made port a couple times, she hadn’t been able to get much beyond the essentials. So the idea of having fresh, wealthy victims and an outfit of her own that she didn’t even have to pay for was tempting indeed.

Too bad she knew pirates like him didn’t do anything for free.

Ignoring the overwhelming heat of his proximity and her natural greed, hazelnut eyes met his hooded gaze suspiciously. “What’s your real game here, Law?”

To his credit, his lazy grin didn’t falter. “Maybe I just think it’ll be amusing to watch you force yourself to shower me with love and adoration all night.”

Nami didn’t buy it for a second. Beneath the sharp scent of soap and antiseptic, she could smell a con. “And who, exactly, owns the house we’ll be infiltrating?”

The confident expression finally slid off his face. “Baron Harpin Gerald, former Head of Intelligence for the Navy.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“He’s over 70 years old—far past his prime.”

“Whitebeard was 72 and still considered the Strongest Man in the World! Garp’s even older and he can throw cannonballs like baseballs! And do you really think a couple of pirates won’t be recognized at a former Marine bigwig’s gala? Especially one of the fucking Supernova?!” she shouted, trying to pull away for the certified madman who’d managed to rope her into service.

Not budging or releasing his hold on the slippery thief, he stated, “Lucky that it’s a masquerade ball, then. A good mask, some temporary hair dye, and no one will suspect a thing. Besides, no pirate would be brazen enough to walk right into the lion’s den.”

“You mean stupid enough.”

“And here I thought you’d enjoy making a little extra cash.”

“I like staying out of jail more. Besides, I’ve seen what your powers can do; you don’t even need to attend the party!”

Gold eyes narrowed in annoyance, though she got the sense it wasn’t fully at her. “On that scale, everyone with eyes will notice a mysterious blue bubble springing up out of nowhere, and someone is sure to raise the alarm,” he countered. “The other problem is that the safe is made out of Seastone—that means my powers are useless, and even touching the damn thing weakens me. So, I need a more traditional thief by my side as back-up.”

Realization hit her like Luffy’s Gum-Gum Bazooka. “You’ve tried to rob him before, haven’t you?”

“Once, about six months ago. Far from a success, though at least the injuries were minimal and he never found out who got past his defenses.”

She frowned. Now it definitely made sense why he wanted to infiltrate the masquerade, but she was still skeptical. “How do you even plan to get us in? If this party’s as fancy as you say, there’ll be a guest list, invitations, at the very list some kind of ID check at the entrance to keep the riffraff out.”

Law reached into his jean pocket, drawing out a shiny, embossed invitation. “Then it’s a good thing Dr. Goodheart Adrian M.D. and his plus-one have already RSVP’d.”

“You really think they’ll fall for a fake invitation?”

“I sent Uni ahead to switch out the guest list with an updated version. Bribed a servant to let him take his place. He sent me a message this morning that he was successful, so we’re in.”

“Like anyone would believe you’re a real doctor.”

“I am a real doctor—I wouldn’t have been able to save Mugiwara’s life if I weren’t,” he said pointedly.

Nami winced. There was that painful reminder of exactly how much she owed this man and that, whether she liked it or not, she was obligated to follow his orders for the sake of their deal. The whole plan sounded absolutely insane, but it was still a plan—far more than she was used to on her own crew.

And she really needed the money. Not just for shopping; being so poor again brought back too many painful memories of her childhood, of being poor and watching Bellemere eat nothing but mikans so her kids would have enough to eat. Of putting aside the majority of her haul after every job, counting down the days until she’d have enough to buy back her village. Of watching those shady Marines destroy the mikan grove, hauling away her stash so Arlong could keep her forever. Treasure was more than just shiny coins and cute outfits to her—it was a safety net, something she clung to as tightly as a child might a security blanket.

Money could keep monsters at bay, and now that she was stuck on a ship with the Surgeon of Death, that fact was more prominent than ever.

So as much as she wanted to refuse and wipe that smug glint from his eye, she knew he had her backed into a corner, where the most she could do was give in gracefully.

At long last, she sighed, “My dress better have pockets.”

XXX

Though she generally preferred casual clothes, Nami appreciated expensive things, and the gown Law had gotten her definitely screamed “money.” The gold satin overdress, embossed with darker gold leopard spots, draped over her curves magnificently, cinching tightly at the waist with a black and gold belt; the bottom had an under layer of stiff interfacing, allowing it to flare out like a ballgown without the need for tulle or petticoats while concealing a daring slit where she could slip her ill-gotten goods into the many hidden interior pockets or expose the pale flesh of her leg as a distraction. The plunging neckline was nearly to her sternum, and the long, billowing sleeves hid her signature tattoo. It was more like an extremely fancy robe in its design, and underneath was a skintight, black, spaghetti-strap bodysuit much better for sneaking around in, her Clima-Tact strapped to her thigh. A string of pearls and matching earrings completed the look—it wasn’t quite as fancy as what she was sure other women would be wearing, but it was what she had, and it was less conspicuous than going unadorned. If she were lucky, maybe she’d have the opportunity to swipe something better off a drunk heiress.

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” the Cat Thief grumbled as she carefully applied eyeliner. A long, dark purple wig covered her orange hair, the loose, elegant curls pinned away from her face with a few barrettes inlaid with pearls, letting the rest cascade down her back like a midnight waterfall. Ikkaku had given her permission to use as much of her makeup as needed, and with a bit of contouring and highlighter, Nami could hardly recognize herself.

“I can,” the engineer chimed from her bed where she’d been studying the mansion’s blueprints. She and the rest of the crew were tasked with causing a number of diversions throughout the island that would draw away the guards and authorities, giving the pair inside the perfect opportunity to sneak away to the study. “He made you an offer you couldn’t refuse. Honestly, I’m kind of jealous.”

“What, you want to be Law’s girlfriend for the night? Because I’m willing to trade.”

“Hell no—last time we tried that cover, I couldn’t keep a straight face. Nearly tanked the whole plan. But it’s cute how far he’s willing to go to get you on his side. It’s even funnier that you pretend you don’t like it.”

Nami snorted, brushing on some mascara, pleased with how sultry the fanned-out lashes made her almond eyes. “I don’t like it. He’s a creep, and Luffy’s rival, and I’m still waiting for the day I wake up on his operating table, heart and liver and kidneys on display and ready for sale. Or for him to sell me wholesale to the highest bidder.”

Shaking her head, Ikkaku replied matter-of-factly, “He wouldn’t do that to you unless you really tried to fuck us over. Like, there was one guy who joined up not long after me who tried to sell Bepo to some slavers—Minks go for a lot at auctions. Captain’s not usually one for cold-blooded torture, but he made that bastard suffer. Last we saw him, the guy was in pieces being shipped off to separate corners of the four Blues.”

She shuddered at the image, though she couldn’t bring herself to fault his reaction. The more she got to know Bepo, the more she wanted to protect him, too, and from what she’d gathered, the bear was one of Law’s oldest and closest friends. “Now that I believe, but are you seriously not afraid of him? You’ve seen what he can do, and while he’s not as bad as I thought, you can’t tell me all of his reputation’s government propaganda.”

“Why would I be? Even if he was as ruthless as the papers say, Captain Law takes care of his crew. Plus, I’m indispensable around here, and I grew up with four older brothers, so I know a thing or two about how many buttons I can push before I’m in any real trouble.” She smirked, as if she’d just discovered a big secret. “You’re not scared because you think he’ll actually slice you up—otherwise, you wouldn’t backtalk him so much. What you’re really afraid of is the fact that you’re not at the top of the food chain anymore.”

It gutted her that her friend wasn’t wrong. Though Luffy was captain, from the get-go Nami had basically been the one who ran the ship, bending the others to her will with either her feminine wiles or her fists. And while she certainly had most of the Heart Pirates wrapped around her finger, she didn’t like that Law had real power and authority over her while her usual threats and tactics had minimal effect on the cool captain. “It’s far from the only reason, but yeah, it doesn’t help. Don’t get me wrong—you’ve all been super nice and accommodating—but I’m not exactly a trusting person. And Law’s way more…I guess intimidating is the best word to use, than Luffy ever was. So I’m not going to be joining the guy’s fan club anytime soon.”

“Fair, but just give Captain a chance, yeah? He might surprise you.”

Before she could argue that she wanted absolutely no surprises from the Surgeon of Death, there was a knock at the door, the raps against the metal quick and precise.

“Seems someone’s here to pick you up for your date,” Ikkaku sing-songed.

Hazel eyes glared at her bunkmate as she got up to answer the door. “It’s not a date, and if you call it that again, you’re gonna find out why exactly why I’m Head Bitch in Charge on the Sunny.”

Steeling herself, Nami smoothed down the stiff fabric of her gown, determined to treat this night with the same level of professionalism Law used in the infirmary. A few hours of acting, looking pretty, and sneaking around, and then she could plan her next shopping spree. And despite his arrogance and innuendos, she was sure Law would take this just as seriously—after all, it was his plan, and the payout affected the whole crew. He knew what he was doing, and with the amount of thought and care he put into crafting this elaborate scheme, there was no way he’d risk it by pushing her buttons. Perhaps the night wouldn’t be a total disaster.

Those reassuring thoughts flew out the window into the ocean depths to probably be eaten by a sea king the moment she opened the door.

“Please tell me that’s not your disguise.”

Looking down at himself, the Dark Doctor’s brow furrowed. “I see nothing wrong with it.” Admittedly, he looked good; midnight blue hair, including his goatee and sideburns, was dyed black, and he’d put in grey contacts to cover the distinctive gold. His suit was sleek black satin, the knee-length, high-collared coat cutting a rather dashing figure. The vest was black and gold brocade, shiny gold buttons and matching watch chain adding a little extra flare. In his hand was a polished mahogany cane with a silver handle shaped like a bird’s skull, and Nami wondered if it was secretly a sword like Brook’s.

Yes, she could admit Law looked very handsome, but it was a shit disguise. For god’s sake, he was still wearing his hat!

“You think some colored contacts and dying your hair is enough to fool people?” she said, exasperated. “You’re a Supernova; your wanted poster’s one of the most recognizable this side of the Grand Line. You didn’t even bother to cover up your tattoos!” she shrieked, pointing at his hands.

He seemed genuinely surprised at her criticism. “You think I should wear gloves, then?”

Nami could have screamed. She’d expect that kind of answer from Zoro or Luffy, not a man who prided himself on his intelligence. Grabbing his arm, she dragged him into the room, pushing him down into the chair by the mirror and snatching off his hat, tossing it onto her pillow. His lanky figure looked almost comical in the too-small seat, long legs sticking out awkwardly. “Stay there. You’re going to wear gloves, but if you need to take them off for some reason, we want those things covered.” Squeezing out some foundation into her palm, she mixed it with some bronzer until the shade matched his skin tone. “Hold out your hands.”

“I don’t care for being ordered around, Nami-ya,” he growled in warning. “Keep it up, and you’ll regret it.”

“Well, I don’t like the idea of getting caught and thrown in jail because you didn’t think the Marines would be suspicious of a guy with DEATH tattooed on his fingers.”

Though he didn’t look happy, he conceded her point, hands steady and still as she applied the makeshift concealer. Definitely the hands of a surgeon, she thought, admiring his natural control. It was comparable to her own when she picked a lock or drew a map; not so much as a tremor, even when under intense scrutiny. Pleased that the black ink was sufficiently covered, she quickly spritzed on some setting spray and finishing powder, hoping the foundation wouldn’t rub off inside the gloves.

Inspecting his face, she then tilted the captain’s chin up, dabbing some concealer under his eyes.

“The fuck are you doing, woman?” he snapped, jerking his head back as if she’d slapped him.

“Covering up those massive bags under your eyes.”

“The hands were one thing, but I’m not letting you put makeup on my face. Besides, I like the world knowing that I’m tired of its shit and ready to kill at any moment.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s totally the mindset of a respectable, non-pirate doctor,” she sassed, jutting out her hip in annoyance. “It’s not like I’m turning you into a drag queen; just covering up some of your more recognizable flaws.”

His brow twitched at the insult. “I’ll be wearing a mask, so why does it matter?”

“You can still see under your eyes, and they might make you take off the mask at check-in. Are you really willing to risk your ‘perfect’ plan because your fragile male ego can’t handle a little cover-up?”

“Oh, just listen to her, Captain,” Ikkaku chimed from her bunk, the Cheshire cat grin on her face declaring to them both that she was mostly getting involved for her own amusement. “Nami’s the infiltration expert here, and you’re the one who insisted she come with you. Just suck it up.”

“You’re fired,” he snapped, pointing at her sternly as he once more dodged Nami’s attempt to dab him with the sponge.

“You’ve fired me six times since I joined, and I’ll tell you the same thing I always do—get rid of me, and Shachi’s the most qualified person to touch up your tattoos. You want that?”

Law shuddered. “Fine, you’re not fired, but you’re on kitchen duty for a month.”

“Eh, fair enough. Now be a good boy and let Nami tart you up.”

His glare could have melted steel, but he stopped resisting as the navigator carefully covered up the proof of his insomnia. Nami had to admit, she was impressed; Ikkaku hadn’t been kidding when she said she had no fear of the Surgeon of Death. It was also nice to see someone else backtalk him, as most of the time the Heart Pirates seemed to worship the very ground he walked on. It made her feel less like the enemy.

As the dark circles disappeared, she had to admit, she kind of missed them. Even though they could make her tired just by looking at them, they were distinctive and a major part of his normal appearance, and he just looked so different without them. Younger, maybe, and less mysterious.

Normal. Boring. Just…not Law.

Sensing her scrutiny, he raised a dark eyebrow. “Something on my face, Nami-ya? I mean, besides the makeup.”

Suppressing a blush at having been caught, she replied, “Just trying to figure out if you need any highlighter or lipstick. I’ve got a lovely flamingo pink—”

“Try it and Mugiwara-ya will have to find a new navigator,” he snarled, the hard look in his eye and the openness of the threat sending a shiver down the spines of both women.

Not willing to risk her life just to embarrass a man, Nami backed away, hands raised in surrender. Relieved that he wouldn’t be subjected to any more of her powders or creams, Law inspected himself in the mirror, lips twisted in a grimace as he studied the difference it made to his face. Nami couldn’t tell if he was more annoyed at the indignity of it all or the fact that she’d clearly been right, but grey eyes flicked to his messy black hair.

“I guess the hat did clash with my outfit, huh?”

“To say the least.”

Without a word, he grabbed her hairbrush and began combing it back into something a bit neater and more respectable, even as Nami groused, “Don’t use my things without asking.”

“Fine. May I use your brush?” he asked, not even glancing at her as he kept brushing.

“No, you may not,” she snapped petulantly.

“Oh, dear. Whatever shall I do, then?” he chuckled, tossing it back on the vanity, smirking at her grinding teeth. His mood was infinitely improved now that he was back in control, and while Nami appreciated not having to worry about being dismembered, a minute part of her wished he’d go back to sulking. “Best get that anger out now, Nami-ya. Once we’re on the island, it’s all smiles.”

“You’re loving this, aren’t you?”

Getting out of the chair, he smirked down at her, pleased to once more have the height advantage so he could both figuratively and literally look down on the Straw Hat thief. “No, I’m enjoying this. What I’ll love is watching you try to keep that cute little temper of yours in check while we’re in public.”

“Asshole.”

“Only for you, sweetheart.”

A small vein throbbed on her temple. “Call me sweetheart again and there won’t be enough makeup on the Grand Line to cover up the bruises I’ll give you.”

“What an abusive girlfriend I have. I hope you at least kiss them better.”

“You wish. And if you’re going to be this much of an absolute prick all night, I’m charging you ten million belli per hour.”

“You want me to pay you to be my date? I wasn’t aware prostitution was part of your repertoire.”

“Congratulations; it’s now fifteen million.”

Ikkaku eagerly watched their back-and-forth like a particularly intense tennis match, grinning the whole time.

She didn’t feel particularly sorry for her captain or her roommate; both knew what they were getting into, provoking the other like that. No, she pitied the poor party guests, who had no idea what kind of unholy terror they were about to face.

Ah, to be a fly on the wall.

XXX

Tokken Island was one of the lushest and most beautiful little islands on the Grand Line, but the majority of the land was owned by Baron Harpin, forcing the port town to desperately cling to a jagged shard of the coastline while his enormous mansion and manicured grounds dominated the rest. Luckily, there were plenty of rocky outcrops and sea caves ideal for hiding the Polar Tang, and after teleporting his crew into position, the well-dressed pair made their way through the town.

“And why couldn’t you have Shambled us there or whatever it is?” Nami groused as she nearly stumbled for the third time. She was an expert at maneuvering in high heels, but that didn’t mean she was immune to the inherent dangers of cobblestone streets, especially ones so torn up.

Law chuckled as she finally accepted his proffered arm for support. The stubborn woman had refused to endure and physical contact with him until absolutely necessary, but it seemed the threat of a broken ankle before they could even get to the mansion had finally won her over. “My abilities take a lot of energy, and I’d rather save it in case we need to make a quick escape. Besides, I don’t want people getting suspicious if we pop up out of nowhere.”

She grumbled under her breath that he was probably doing it just to annoy her, even if, logically, he had a point. Wrapping her arm around his bicep for balance, she was finally able to turn her attention from the uneven road to the state of the town itself. Only about half the lanterns were lit, and what illumination they did give didn’t paint a very pretty picture.

The houses were run-down, roofs thatched haphazardly and some windowpanes packed with paper or rags instead of glass. The shops weren’t much better off, the display windows showing off rough-looking fishing supplies, underripe fruit, and cheap clothing. Only a few people were out, most looking worn-out or underfed, and those that didn’t stare at the pair of well-dressed pirates with envy watched them with hunger.

“If the Baron’s so wealthy, why’s the town in such a sorry state?” she wondered aloud. “I mean, just setting up this gala should have brought plenty of business to the port. Docking fees, restocking supplies, even sailors picking up cheap souvenirs—”

“There’s a private dock on the mansions’ grounds that he uses for deliveries and the like,” Law answered, barely sparing a glance at a skinny woman hoarsely calling out to passersbys, a basket of small trinkets thrust out towards them. “None of his business comes to the town—plus, he owns most of the farmland, so any crops are considered his property. All that’s really left is fishing, and the guy’s notorious for hating seafood, meaning these folks are shit out of luck.”

Biting her lip, Nami looked towards the woman again, freezing as a small child, yellow hair tied in twin pigtails down her shoulders, poked her head out from behind her frayed skirts. The little girl looked marginally less skinny than her mother, and without even thinking, the thief broke away from Law to inspect the woman’s wares. It appeared to be mostly jewelry—nothing particularly fancy but in the warm light of a nearby streetlamp she could tell it had been carefully made with decent materials.

“What are you doing?” Law hissed, looking around to make sure they weren’t drawing too much attention—most of the Baron’s guests wouldn’t lower themselves to pass through the slums like this, but he’d didn’t want to take any chances. That, and he wasn’t entirely sure there weren’t villagers desperate enough to try and mug them. He’d rather avoid a fight this early in the evening, and he didn’t want to get his nice, new suit dirty.

Ignoring him, she picked up a simple gold chain with a pendant made of four gemstones. They were beautifully polished, the marquise-cut purple tourmaline the color of the sky at sunrise. Their arrangement was reminiscent of Polaris, or perhaps the compass on her maps. “This is lovely,” she commented. “Is it locally made, or imported?”

The woman hastily explained, “My husband was once the Baron’s personal jeweler. He made beautiful pieces, but they were too simple for the Baron’s tastes. He wanted to impress lady callers, and demanded gaudier jewelry without providing the proper materials,” she said sourly. “My husband got sacked, and I’ve been trying to sell these off for a while. The necklace is 6000 belli on its own, or you can make me an offer for the set?” she said hopefully, indicating the matching ring and earrings in the worn basket, their delicate star designs winking in the dim light.

Immediately Nami could tell this woman hadn’t had any luck for a long time. The quality of the gems alone showed she was drastically underpricing the pieces. It was doubtful anyone in town could afford luxuries like jewelry, and if the Baron monopolized all the outside business at his own port, she probably never even saw other potential clientele. She was probably only even trying her luck now out of desperation. After all, you can’t eat gold, and with a small child to care for, any amount of belli would do.

“It would look really pretty on you,” the little girl murmured politely, large, purple eyes watching her in wonderment. Nami was certain she was the closest thing to a princess the child had ever seen, dressed in finery and on her way to an exclusive party at the glorious mansion on the hill. A real-life Cinderella, something out of a fairy tale she’d use to comfort herself on cold, hungry nights.

Nami had certainly been in those shoes, long ago, and she’d never been able to turn her back on a child in need. Her eyes were even the same color as the tourmaline in the basket.

Well, damn, she thought with a rueful smile. Poor kid could use a fairy godmother. Or at least a Cat Thief.

Pulling a black leather wallet out of her cleavage, she said, “I’ll take the set. How does 30,000 belli sound?”

Law’s jaw dropped as his eyes widened in recognition, immediately patting his pockets to confirm his suspicions. Coming up empty, he glared bitterly when the saleswoman replied, “Tha-that’d be perfectly fine!”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Law grumbled as Nami pulled out some bills, handing them over with all the care of a woman who was fine spending money that wasn’t hers.

The thief matched his glare, tossing him the wallet. “What kind of boyfriend wouldn’t lavish his lover with jewelry?” she huffed, giving the child staring at her with blatant adoration a conspiratorial wink.

“What kind of girlfriend pickpockets her lover’s wallet?” he countered, checking the contents to make sure he was only out 30,000 belli. Satisfied that the rest of his cash was safely in place, he glanced at the little girl, his scowl faltering as his eyes fell on the awestruck face of the little girl. Quickly, his gaze darted back up to the woman who wronged him, glaring like a basilisk.

Fluttering her eyelashes, Nami replied, “The kind who knows just how generous her lover is,” she quipped before turning back to the jewelry seller to collect her purchase. For a moment, a pair of gold barrettes inlaid with clear stones—possibly diamonds, again in the marquise cut—caught her eye, but she knew better than to swipe Law’s wallet twice in one night. So, reluctantly, she only took her purchase, patting the little girl on the head in farewell. When the kid bobbed a curtsy in response, Nami couldn’t hold back her giggle, returning the gesture.

That kid’s going to have one hell of a story to tell her friends tomorrow, she thought cheerfully, jogging slightly to catch up with Law, who’d been less than the image of a handsome prince by storming off up the road without her.

Joining her date, she rolled her eyes in exasperation at the dark scowl on his face. Even without his hat, his black bangs cast ominous shadows over his eyes. He was walking even faster now, and she had to work to keep up with his long strides. It was petty, petulant revenge against the woman who had dared to get the better of him. “Are you mad that I took your wallet, or that you didn’t even notice?” she taunted lightly.

Even from the corner of his eye, his hawk-like glare made goosebumps rise across her shoulders. “I’m mad because you wasted our time and my money,” he snapped. “I already bought you your dress, mask, and wig. My ‘generosity,’ as you put it, has its limits.”

“I’ll pay you back,” she ground out, refusing to feel guilty for her actions. That little girl’s smile had been well worth the price of Law’s irritation, but she also knew she had to appease his anger if they were going to pull off their grand scheme. When he scoffed, she added reluctantly, “With interest.”

“Why’d you even bother?” he asked, indicating the jewels in her hand.

Pulling him to a stop under one of the streetlights, Nami switched her original earrings out for the bejeweled ones. “It’s for the cover. I’m supposed to be a rich doctor’s arm-candy, and my boring pearls would have looked way too simple, especially with this dress. With these, I’ll blend in better.”

“You could have just stolen them.”

She frowned at him, genuinely offended. “I steal from pirates and rich idiots who can afford it. Did you see that woman? I’d bet all the treasure on the Sunny that any money she got went to feeding her kid. I’m not going to even haggle with someone in that kind of situation.” A soft, sad smile graced her lips. “My mother did that. Claimed she was on a diet when she really couldn’t afford to feed all three of us.”

There was a moment of silence as she turned away from him, hoping to collect herself before she started bawling at the memory of Bellemere’s sacrifices. Silently, she thanked her adopted mother, willing back the stinging sensation of tears forming behind her eyes. Ruining her makeup before they even arrived at the gala would do them no good. Besides, Law would probably have some kind of smart-ass comment about it.

The refusal to let her temporary captain see her so weak, she brushed away her sadness to focus on her new jewelry. Slipping on the ring, she admired how it gleamed under the warm lamplight. It was a tad too big, fitting most comfortably on her middle finger, but she found the style suited her. She might even wear the set on a night out sometime; maybe to celebrate tonight’s success. Assuming the plan didn’t go to shit, that is.

She jumped when he finally responded, “I hate to say it, but that does look good on you.” When she turned her head, she couldn’t fight the sudden blush that spread across her cheeks. Worryingly, she couldn’t tell if it was due to his sudden, intimate proximity or the small, appreciative smile lifting his lips. Such an expression seemed too gentle for the famed Supernova, and yet she found she rather liked the way it softened and relaxed his features. “You’re surprisingly soft-hearted for a pirate, though.”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, struggling to maneuver the tiny clasp through her thick wig. Suddenly having so much hair was a real pain, and she wondered how she’d ever manage if she grew her own hair out. Short was more practical, after all, and looked cute on her to boot.

“Here, let me help,” his smooth voice whispered in her ear, and she felt her curls carefully gathered to rest over her shoulder. Nimbly, he took the necklace and fastened it securely around her neck. Tingles ran down her spine as the smooth leather of his black gloves brushed her bare skin, and the whole thing felt strangely intimate. Turning her around, Law studied his date. The pendant rested just above the dip of her bountiful cleavage, sparkling invitingly. “I’m pretty sure it’s still too simple for this crowd, but it works better than the pearls.”

Her reply was cut off by the curls she’d pinned up tumbling into her face, only to be swept back into place, secured by his deft fingers. He cupped her chin, appraising his work before nodding. Suspicious, because Trafalgar Law’s approval was never a good thing in her mind, she reached up to touch her hair, russet eyes widening when she felt gemstones instead of pearls. Head snapping back to look at the mother and daughter, her jaw dropped when she saw the little girl holding a wad of bills, beaming even more brilliantly than before while the saleswoman looked close to tears.

Turning to her partner in crime for the night, Law responded with a nonchalant shrug, though she could see his grey eyes soften as they lingered on the child excitedly waving back at them. “The pearl clips didn’t match the rest, and if we’re going to pull this off, we’d best go all-out. Plus, that cash’ll ensure their silence should they be questioned by the authorities later. I’d rather your kindness not get us identified.”

It was all very logical and well-thought-out and total bullshit. Nami had to smile as she once again took his arm, matching his easy gait as they made their way up towards the mansion. “Right. Because I’m the soft-hearted one.”

“You’re paying me back for those, too, by the way,” he quipped, smirking at her annoyed growl.

Before she could argue, he halted; the brilliant lights of the mansion were in sight, and small groups of well-dressed guests were gathering at the ornate front gate. It was time to stop being Cat Thief Nami and the Surgeon of Death Trafalgar Law, bickering pirates, and become a loving couple. Gently as a forest stream, Nami adjusted her body language, leaning comfortably against her partner, hand clutching his bicep possessively, face switching from a seething scowl to the deliriously happy grin of a woman pathetically enamored with her companion.

For his part, Law seemed to morph into his role just as fluidly, posture straightening into something more refined, his smile relaxed and charming; perfectly playing the part of a man who knew he was smart, good-looking, successful, and could easily use all that to get a woman as beautiful as the one on his arm.

Inside, Nami groused that he had the way easier acting job.

As they made their way up the mansion’s long, winding front path, crushing artfully sprinkled rose petals beneath their feet, Law slipped on a raven mask, the sharp beak curving over his nose and the shiny black feathers fanning out like little spikes over his cheeks and forehead. Nami was grateful she’d covered up his dark circles—the eye holes were definitely wide enough where they would have been distinctly visible.

In contrast, her mask was modeled after a cat, the color and leopard spots mimicking her gown perfectly. It flawlessly concealed the upper half of her face, while the large eyeholes showed off her beautiful eyes and wouldn’t block her sightline too badly.

Approaching the doorman, Law handed over their invitation, smirking when the servant checked it against the guest list before nodding, ushering them both inside. Another servant led them down an extravagantly decorated front hallway. The doctor hadn’t been kidding when he’d said the Baron was an art collector with expensive tastes; masterpieces in gold frames hung along the walls, marble statues and painted porcelain vases were displayed on opulent pedestals, and even the crimson rug beneath their feet was luxuriously soft.

Nami had to briefly bury her head against Law’s shoulder to hide the belli signs that sparkled in her eyes.

Eventually, they reached the ballroom, and as they waited to be announced, Law affectionately brushed his lips across her hair. “Ready for some fun?” he murmured, his tone affectionate but the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips screamed of devilish intentions.

She mirrored his smile and tone, eager to line her pockets and relish in luxury for a while before the real job began. “Absolutely.”

As the ballroom doors opened, the servant next to them announced them to their fellow guests.

“Presenting Dr. Goodheart Adrian and his escort, Ms. Chaton Bellemere!”

[cinnamonsugarsheith-blog]

(jail)Bait and Switch

Pairing: Sheith, bg onesided Allurance, bg onesided HunkShay

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Student/Teacher, Kissing, mild dirty talk and Keith’s filthy 18 year old brain, implied blowjobs, quite a bit of curse words, Keith is A Tease

Summary: Keith’s physics class gets a new student teacher. Keith has every intention of being as annoying as possible, but Oh Shit He’s Hot.

Keith fucking hates this class. He hates math. He hates fucking "I did not spend twenty years in school for you to call me Mister" Dr Slav. He hates that it's fucking first period. He hates that fucking Lance McClain sits behind him and pokes him in the back of the neck with a pencil whenever he falls asleep.

If this class wasn't literally required for him to take for the degree he needed to work at Space X he Would Not be taking it.

So when they come back from spring break and Dr Slav introduces his new student teacher he has decided he is going to at the very least have a little fun during it by annoying the shit out of them.

He damn near chokes on his own tongue when Dr Slav introduces Mister Takashi Shirogane as his new student teacher though. No one should be able to make purple argyle look that fucking good. No one. Mister Takashi "call me Mister Shiro" Shirogane had silver hair that made Keith question if he needed to change his career path to sugar baby and dark eyes that hid behind glasses and a sharp scar across his nose that made him look just a little bit dangerous and fuck if that wasn't a thousand watt smile. Ugh. Yeah. He needed to change his plans. Scratch operation annoy the shit out of the peppy student teacher. Begin operation get the student teacher to bend him over the desk. And from the looks of the rest of the class. He had competition.

Something was on his side though, because the next day Dr Slav asked him to hang back after class. "Mister Shirogane, this is the top of the class, Keith Kogane. He has a bit of a disciplinary problem. And a mouth." Keith could feel Slav glaring. " But if you're looking at my seniors for a research assistant. This is the only one worth glancing at." Shiro laughed good naturedly. "I think you have a great group of student, Dr Slav." He adjusted his glasses, pushing them up the bridge of his nose. "But, it's good to meet you Keith. You must be some student to catch Slav's attention." Keith hoped he looked as effortlessly cool as he was trying to with his hands in his pockets and his gaze towards the door. "Yeah. Same." "Um, I'm looking for a research assistant to help me with my senior thesis. I'm an astrophysics major and I'm really hoping to help send the first manned mission to Kerberos... Its--" "One of Pluto's moons. Is it paid?" That seemed to catch Shiro off guard and he blushed. "N-no! But I'd be happy to give you rides to the lab at campus and meals and stuff while you're there. I uh... Yeah. The schedule is flexible, but you look like you're a flexible kinda guy and well if you're interested..." Keith had to mentally force himself not to Flip Out at the student teachers seemingly completely unintentional double entendre. He had no problem showing Shiro just how flexible he could be. He grunted. "Guess I'm interested. What are the hours." Shiro scribbled down his number on a sticky note with a quick "text me tonight, you're going to be late to English!" It wasn't until half way through English that he questioned how Shiro knew that’s what he had next.

The new english lit student teacher was here on a visa if her accent was anything to go by.  He thought about annoying her since Shiro had been a busy, but Lance wouldn't stop hitting on her. He pitied the heck out of her for that. Thank God his next class was not with Lance. "Heard you new student teacher is hot," Pidge stated without pretense. "Yeah, Lance says he looks like a nerdy Adonis." Keith shrugged, and passed Pidge a white powder to mix into their solution. "I guess." "And then slav asked you to hang back." Pidge wriggled her eyebrows at him. "What's up with that?" Keith smirked, hand reaching into his pocket for the sticky with Shiro's number. "Wouldn’t you like to know.

He texts Shiro an "its Keith from Slavs class" that night and falls asleep thinking about Shiro's strong hands pinning him to the chalkboard and asking him why his homework is late. When he wakes up he has a text "Hey Keith, Hope We can meet up soon to discuss specific hours. I'd love to give you a tour of the lab and observatory! --Shiro" What kind of dork signed their texts? He'd see him in class today. No point in texting back now. He scrounged through the closet for the jeans that were both the least dirty but also the tightest, a black pair, and grabbed the first shirt he found. He'd wear his jacket all day anyways. When he pulled into the school he was early and he strategically hung out on his motorcycle near the teachers lot until he saw Shiro get out of the noisiest station wagon the school had ever seen. He was shocked the thing was still running. Time to make his entrance.

Keith ran full force into his student teacher. And then proceeded to cuss as said student teachers nose started bleeding where he’d for all intents and purposes headbutted him. “Shit, Mr Shiro!” He was helping pull the man up and pressing the sleeve of his hoodie to his nose before the older man could stop him. “You okay?” He straightened the man’s bangs as he continued to press the cotton of his hoodie to his face. “Maybe we should go to the nurses office?” Shiro looked defeated, clearly not wanting to talk with his students hand pinching his nose shut. “’s go to the nurse.” Shay helped Keith slip off his black hoodie and continued to keep the pressure on Shiro’s nose. “You’re lucky Keith here knows a decent amount about first aid.” She smiled. “He’s gotten his fair share of bloody noses.” Keith snorted. “I give more than I get.” “Well I can see that.” The secretary ruffled his hair. “Now what happened here? I really hope you’re not picking fights with teachers.” “It was an accident, just ran into each other in the parking lot not paying attention.” Shiro nodded in agreement, slowly releasing the pressure on his nose to see if the bleeding had stopped. “Keith, I’ve got to go field attendance calls. You take good care of Mister Shirogane.” With that Shay slipped out of the room. “I think it’s stopped,” Shiro said hesitantly. “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. It was an accident.” It wasn’t. But they were in the basically closet that served as a nurses office and he was close enough to see the creases next to Shiro’s eyes when he smiled and he couldn’t feel even a little bit bad. “Yeah–” Keith wetted some paper towels in the small sink and passed them to Shiro “– but I should’ve been more careful.” Shiro shrugged, and then gave a small smile as he wiped at his face and hands. “I mean if you really want to make it up to me, you can always take me up on that assistant position.” Keith took another step into the man’s space and held his hand out for the red tinged paper towel he was holding. Shiro handed it to him. He put two fingers under Shiro’s chin and tilted it up. He licked his bottom lip and dabbed the damp towel under Shiro’s nose again, gently, and then across his bottom lip. "Missed a spot.” He smiled. Shiro flushed the most brilliant red and gaped. Keith stepped back easy, tossing the bloody towels into the trash can under the sink. “And I think I’d like to see that lab, Mister Shiro.” Keith skipped first period and spent it hiding on the roof with Ezor, who was doing an art independent study and had her corner litteredp with paints and bright stained puddles where chalk pastels had been left in the rain and a smattering of scarf scraps that had been hacked up for their fringes. He couldn’t pretend to be cool in front of Shiro any more today than he had. Maybe skipping class would make think Shiro think he was mysterious or something though. Fuck it. “Ugh I wish the models Mr Iverson used in class had your bone structure. "M not modeling Ezor, I’m ditching. "Well you’re sitting perfectly still in my space, so I think that makes you my model.” She winked. He grunted and made an effort to move every thirty seconds after that. By the time lunch rolled around Lance still hadn’t seen him that day and was shocked when he plopped down next to Pidge and started shoving fries into his mouth. “Dude where were you this morning? Mr Shiro said he needed to give back your hoodie. You left it with him this morning?” Hunk choked on his milk and Pidge gave him the most conspiratorial of grins. “Yeah, so? Didn’t feel like listening to the Slave driver. Sorry.” “Are you…?” He waved his hands vaguely in the direction of the building where their physics classroom was. “Waving my hands?” Lance glared and lowered his voice. “Are you sleeping with the student teacher?” “Not your business, Lance.” Lance looked like his head was going to explode. “I’m gonna have to ditch game night, by the way, guys,” he changed topics, sort of. “Shiro has something to show me at campus.” He was definitely going to give Lance an aneurysm. “Okay. Suit yourself. We were gonna plan Monsters and Mana. Matt even volunteered to be the Dungeon Keeper.” Pidge got up to bus her tray. “Damn.” Keith did love M&M… But hot TA and fodder to hang over Lance’s head. “I’ll have to catch it next week.” He waited until most of the students had left the school to move his bike to the teachers lot next to Shiro’s car. He debated the pros and cons of positioning himself leaning against the hood of the car or straddling his bike when Shiro came out and opted for the bike. When Shiro stepped out of the school he caught Shiro’s swallow even as far away as he was. Keith grinned to himself and pocketed his phone. “Follow you?” “Yeah, it’s not too far.” Keith pulled his helmet on and waited for Shiro to get into his car before revving his engine just slightly more than he maybe necessarily needed to. It was indeed not too far. He was pretty sure this was the school Pidge’s brother went too. They parked in a garage and Shiro let him stash his helmet in his back seat while they toured the lab. Shiro talked animatedly about rocket ships most of the walk to the building and he promised he would wash his hoodie and get it back to him tomorrow. Keith shrugged.

"So you'd have to be in the lab at the same time as me since you're not a student but I'm usually here by myself unless Dr Holt comes in on the weekends--" "As in Sam?" Keith cut him off "Uh... Yeah. Samuel Holt." "Sorry, I'm just. His daughter is one of my best friends." "Oh yeah! Katie’s a sophomore now, right? And at your school too." "She goes by Pidge now, but yeah." Shiro laughed. "She used to hate when Matt called her that." Well. There went all his grand plans for trying to be the The Cool Guy. As soon as he talked to the Holts, that was going to be out the window. Shit. Might as well do what he could while he could then.

He perched on the side of Shiro's L desk kitty corner an ancient desktop as he pulled up data spreadsheet after data spreadsheet. "What--" he leaned forward, bracing one arm on the back of Shiro's chair and letting his breath ghost over the side of Shiro's neck and ear "--does this spike here mean?" He pointed out a blip in the data on the screen. He could see Shiro's shoulder tense under his thin sweater. "Um, it's a fraunhofer line from an element suspected to come from Kerberos." He leaned in a little closer. "Doesn't look like one I've ever seen." Shiro swallowed and turned his head to look at Keith. "No. No, it doesn't. Is this. Um are... Am I reading into this?" His face was positively red. Keith tilted his head just enough to question and seized this perfectly presented moment. "No, Mister Shirogane, I'm really interested in accepting this position under you..." There was only a few inches between their faces and Keith wanted nothing more to kiss this adorable man, but it was too soon. He sat up, never breaking the eye contact he had with Shiro, and slid off the desk. "What hours are you wanting me here?"

His student teacher couldn't look him in the eyes the rest of the week. His hoodie was folded neatly on his desk Friday morning, smelling of detergent and Shiro. He was probably making up that last part because he was crushing like a thirteen year-old girl. But fuck it.

His friends teased him about this as he burrowed his nose into it for the tenth time during lunch. He begrudgingly called Lance for help that night. "Black or blue jeans?" "Uh...." "Lance just tell me which one makes my ass look better. I know you know." Keith could practically see Lance putting the pieces together in his head. "Why~?" "Just tell me." "You're going to go see Mr Shiro, aren't you~?" Lance sing-songed into the phone. "Lance." Keith warned. Lance laughed. "Nah man, if this works, there's hope for me and Allura. Blue jeans. The dark ones. They bring out your eyes. And wear that baseball tee you think makes you look girly. The red one. Don't wear your bike boots. Sneakers. You've been doing that bad boy thing and it's dumb." "Have not." He hope Lance couldn't hear him pouting. "Have too. Mr Shiro is a nerd. Bad boy will catch his attention, but it won't keep it." Okay so maybe Lance had a point. "Thanks." "No problem! Let me know how it goes tomorrow!"

Keith bused to campus bright and early the next morning and could have kissed Shiro when he pressed a large iced coffee into his hands. Shiro laughed as he sucked down half the drink in five minutes. "I know, but it's best we get as much done in training as we can before Matt gets here and tries to tell you how to use a 'flux capacitor.'" Keith nodded and leaned against the wall of the elevator. "I think this is the first time I've seen you without your bike jacket. Didn't ride today?" "Too tired." "I'll give you a ride home when we are done here then." It wasn't a question, so he didn't respond, but he tried not to think too hard about how Shiro had noticed that he wasn't wearing his jacketo They ended up at a diner off campus and Keith was mildly less attracted to Shiro watching him try and fail to fit a burger covered in mac and cheese into his mouth without making a mess.

However this gave him the opportunity to reach out and wipe cheese sauce off  off Shiro's cheek with his thumb and the bunny in headlights look he got in response was so worth how disgusting he thought it was to lick it off his thumb. "What?" He asked when Shiro put his flushed face into his hands. "That was um..." "It's not my fault you're a messy eater." Keith did his best impression of Shiro's thousand watt smile. Shiro just nodded, then squeaked when he felt Keith's sneakered foot rest gently on his knee under the table. "So how do you like student teaching?" "Uh, it's good. Overall I mean. Everyone has been really great. Slav’s difficult, but..." Shiro shrugged. "And the students?" "Oh, um. You guys are a good class?" He offered weakly. Keith grinned. "Nah, I skip once a week and Lance is an ass. And I'm pretty sure half the girls have given you love letters by now." Shiro squirmed in his seat. "Well I'm not..." "Straight?" "How...?" "Straight men do not wear argyle, Mr. Shiro." "Um... You can just call me Shiro. When we aren't at school. All my friends do." "Are we friends?" Keith didn't bother to hide his smirk. "I'd like us to be.... Friends" Shiro said thickly. "Yeah?" Keith let his foot fall --dragged it-- down the inside of Shiro's calf. "Is this something..?" "I mean I'd say an assistant is more of a working relationship, but if you wanna be friends we maybe do something fun sometime." Smooth, Keith, so smooth. "Ah, I guess you're right... Maybe a movie? Or the arcade? What do people do to socialize these days?" Keith smiled. "Too much time in your books?" "You have no idea."

When Shiro pulled up to his house to drop him off he wasn't quite sure what to do. A hug seemed too forward, but nothing weird too? "See you Monday, right?" Shiro asked. "Yeah. Monday." He nodded. He hesitated for a moment, but reached for the door handle, opting to not push his luck any further than he already had. He stretched as he got out, feeling his shirt lift a bit and smiled to himself where Shiro couldn't see him when he made a noise in his throat. He'd have to make it a point to wear this shirt more often.  He almost had the door shut when Shiro blurted out his name. "Mmm?" He hummed and reopened the door. "Do you uh... Maybe want to catch a movie tomorrow?" "I think I'd like that a lot," he paused, "Takashi...." And gave Shiro what he really hoped was a sweet smile. Pidge would probably tell him he looked constipated. Definitely the most red he'd ever seen Shiro's face. Noted. "Co-ol," his voice caught half way through the word. "Text me?" "Sure thing." This time he shut the door and walked into the house before Shiro could respond. He was going to have his own personal flailing freak out and he needed the door between them when that happened.

Keith text Lance to tell him it went well and put his phone in his desk drawer to avoid texting Shiro too soon. When he did text Shiro, an hour later, it was with a short "you have anything you want to see tomorrow?" Fantasy Shiro in his head responded "You, baby, in my sheets." Real Shiro text back "there's a new horror movie out that looks pretty intense, but there's a sci-fi one that Matt says is really good too" Keith looked at the movie at their tiny local theater and could not find any horror movies. What the heck. "Horror sounds good, I can pick you up on my bike if you're not scared of riding." Also because Shiro's thighs around his hips. Keith groaned at the thought. Hell yeah. Shiro sent back an excited smiley and a "3:30 or 6?" Shiros thighs around his hips and his arms tight around him in the cool spring evening. 6:00pm. DEFINITELY 6:00pm.

He arrived at 5:30 on the dot the next evening, back in his usual leather riding gear, hair tied up in a ponytail. He handed Shiro a helmet and let him get situated before warning him he was going to want to hang on, smirk entirely devious. He was a speed demon without the desire to get Shiro to curl around him as he took sharp turns and whipped through yellow lights. Shiro was a surprisingly good sport about it whooping excitedly and shifting his body smoothly behind Keith. Having Shiro pressed against him felt as good as expected and he may have done a few unnecessary turns in the parking lot just to enjoy it an extra moment. Keith bought the tickets despite Shiro insisting that he had been the one to invite Keith. "You can get popcorn." "We are getting popcorn? What do you think I am, made of money?" Shiro tease, poking him in the ribs. Keith swatted his prosthetic hand away with a yelp. "Well I was kidding, but clearly not, since my assistantship isn't paid." Keith pouted "Hey, I offered to pay for the tickets!!" Shiro put a hand on his lower back and guided him towards the concession lines. Keith leaned into it, and practically melted when he didn't move his hand as they came to a stop at the back of the line. "Soda?" Shiro asked when they were up next. "Coke. I'm not an animal." Keith replied without hesitation. "God, you're perfect. Matt always makes us get diet fanta. I didn't know there was diet fanta." Shiro gave a shiver. Keith laughed. "Yeah, that's Pidge's favorite too. Nasty." They collected their things and Keith strategically lead them to a set of seats that already had the middle armrest raised so he wouldn't have to try to be sneaky about it. They sat shoulder to shoulder with the popcorn on Shiro's lap and the soda balanced between Keith's thighs. Shiro knew a shocking amount of movie preview trivia, which he blamed on Matt. And Keith insisted that he was unfit to teach physics because he liked Star Wars better than Star Trek.

It was not nearly as thick as he had been laying it on, which, he would later decide after a four way call that lasted the better part of two hours, was probably good. This was fun and easy and even though less direct "Takashi" was still blushing and smiling an awful lot. He did set his hand on Shiro's thigh about halfway through the movie though. And to his credit Shiro only tensed for a second before realizing Keith wasn't going to do anything else, and relaxing. The "horror movie" was actually a thriller with ghosts. It was not scary, but Shiro startled repeatedly, and Keith could feel him twitching every time a character did Something Very Stupid onscreen. Keith shifted and leaned over to whisper in Shiro's ear, "Ya know, he looks kind of like Slav... And the blonde guy looks like Mr Iverson with hair." Shiro snickered and turned to whisper back, "You're totally right!”

Keith leaned into Shiro's shoulder a little more after that. When it was over it was completely dark outside. "You want to grab food or...?" Keith let the question hang, holding the extra helmet out to Shiro again. "Sure, there's a Waffle House a few streets over?"   Keith hummed and lifted his leg over his bike. "And I will pay!" Shiro readily settles his hands on Keith's hips when he situated himself again. And his brain was telling him how easily those hands.... Ugh. Why did he think riding his bike was a good idea again?! But then Shiro's legs settled along side his and he remembered exactly why. He just had not very thoroughly thought out the nuances of this decision.

Thankfully it was a short ride to the Waffle House, but it was bittersweet. He had to turn things back up juuuuust a little when the waitress told them they were just the cutest couple. "Yeah, Takashi is gorgeous. I'm a lucky guy." Shiro fumbled, clearly wanting to play along, but missing the beat as she asked for their drink order. "It's uh... I'm sorry." Shiro fiddled with his placemat. "For what?" Keith raised an eyebrow. "That she thinks we are a couple." Keith shrugged, trying to figure out how to best play that. "I don't mind. I meant that... You're gorgeous. And smart to boot? You're a hell of a catch." He winked. "Like you're not." And there was the hand over his mouth. "Takashi, are you flirting with me?" Well that sulky glare was probably deserved.

"Are you?" He pushed. "Are you?" Shiro hedged back. "You're too smart to have any doubt that I'm not." Shiro let out a huge sigh. "Oh thank fuck. I thought I was being a creepy pervert." Keith laughed aloud at that.

"I'm 18. No harm, right?" He gave Shiro a lopsided grin. "I know. Your birthday is on the class roster." Shiro sighed. "If you weren't 18, I wouldn't have asked you to be my research assistant. Matt can get a little... Weird.... Sometimes. " "Yeah he gets it from his sister." "Wouldn't it be the other way around?" "Absolutely not." "So um...." Shiro started after the waitress interrupted to take their orders. "I know you're 18, and it's not for lack of... Ah... Attraction. " He cleared his throat. "But I think it may be best to wait until after you graduate to uh... Start anything." Keith raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Think you can keep your hands off me for that long?" "No, but I'm going to try." Shiro sulked.

"Challenge accepted." Keith grinned wolfishly and took a drink for his water Shiro groaned. "You're gonna kill me.” Keith tongued at his straw between his teeth, still grinning. "Only if you don't fuck me." "KEITH!" He laughed again. "What?"

Keith drove Shiro back to the apartment where he apparently lived with the Lit student teacher, Allura, and leaned back against him, dreading the moment Shiro would uncurl from around him and get off the bike. They took their helmets off and Shiro twirled his short pony tail, humming thoughtfully. "I had a lot of fun tonight." "I did too..." He tilted his head up a bit and Shiro made a noise of protest before he pressed a firm kiss to Keith's cheek. "See you tomorrow?" "Yeah..." Shiro watched as Keith secured the spare helmet. "See that star up there?" Shiro nuzzled his neck, a little hesitant. "Between the far one on this constellation here..." He took Keith's hand and pointed. "And this real dull one here?" "Yeah?' "That one's ours, baby..." Keith blushed and sunk back against the solid mass behind him. "It should be about... There" he took Keith's hand to another point in the sky. "When you graduate." Keith nodded, understanding. Shiro pressed a kiss beneath his ear. "That's when I bend you over Slav's  desk and fuck you until you forget everything but my name." "Oh fuck." Keith felt like the wind got knocked out of him as Shiro got off the bike. "What?" Shiro winked and grinned, looking at him over his glasses. "You started it." Keith swore the entire way home.

And that is how the next two months went, they would whisper salacious something's into each other's ears and press kisses along jaw lines and go home and pant the others name until they were an utter wreck, but Shiro kept fast on his promise of not until Keith graduated. And Keith was doing his best to break him. Prom night was close. Matt had bought Pidge a shitty handle of vodka and she had split it between the four of them before forcing her brother to drive them to the dance. They were all sloshed and he absolutely stole his chance to ask Shiro to dance with him. Shiro twirled him around, innocently enough, while Allura led Lance with a hand on his waist and Hunk roped Pidge into some semblance of sober slow dancing, staring longingly at secretary-slash-nurse Ms Shay. Shiro leaned close, and his hand tensed over the thin sweater covering Shiro's muscles. "Exams are next week. Have you thought about what you want if you get an A?" His lips just closed the barest bit over the edge of Keith's ear lobe and he about died in Thace's borrowed suit. "Shit. Whatever you're willing to give me." Shiro chuckled. "Now where's that cool, in control Keith I met the first week of class?" "You've fuckin ruined him," Keith huffed. "Tell me, baby." Shiro spun him and pulled him close. God, this man. "Want you to--" "My turn!" "Pidge, we are--" "Shhhhhhhhhhh. Best friend privileges. I have to protect your honor. Go dance with Hunk. Help him impress Miss Shay. He's trying. But it sucks." "Hi, Katie," Shiro greeted evenly. "If you hurt him, I will ruin your fucking life. Takashi Shirogane. Born 2/29/2031 to Mira and Kunikazu Shirogane in Osaka Japan. Immigrated to America in 2035. Dropped out of Galaxy Garrison's pilot program due to a suspicious training accident and relegated to Altea Tech's Astrophysics undergrad." "You've done you research?" "My brothers labmate or not. Keith is special." "I know, Katie. I mean to do right by him. I swear." She nodded and settled her head on top of his chest for the remainder of the song. "I'm gonna hold you to that...." Shiro held his pinky up. "I swear, Katie." She nodded and linked her pinky. "I trust you."

They left Shiro's station wagon in the teachers lot and Keith drove Shiro back to his house just off campus on his bike. "You uh... Want to come in?" Keith got off without question. "So uh... Katie....?" Shiro started, cracking open a beer and passing it to Keith. It was prom night. Fuck it. Keith groaned and took a long drag.  "What did she do?" "More or less? She is going to fuck me up if I hurt you...?" Keith nodded sagely, staring into the distance. "Holts scare the shit out of me." Shiro lifted his beer and they clinked in a cheers. "Shiro....?" "Yeah?" "I don't want to be cliche as hell... But... Could you. At least kiss me tonight? I mean… for real?" Shiro wasn't half a step away before he finished the question. "Thought you would never ask." Shiro sealed their lips together, trying in all his pent up frustration to not push too much, and hoping the last two months of WANT came through.. And it did, Keith was practically melting with Shiro's hand cupping his neck and his prosthetic tight around his waist.

Shiro pulled away heavily. "You have me so fucked up..." "Huh?" Keith wanted back. Shiro snorted and spoke against Keith's plush lips. "'m torn between wanting our first time to be slow and loving, on my bed 'pstairs... Show you how beautiful you are to me... And fucking you stupid over that fucking morons desk. For spite." Keith groaned and dropped to his knees in an instant. "Let me show you instead?"

Shiro couldn't look Keith in the eye during class after that and Keith took joy in asking a ridiculous amount of questions during prep for the AP exams. He passed with a 4. Probably because Slav was insane and force them to know exceptions to the exceptions. Thace and Ulaz threw a modest graduation part for him, and he was glad for the year to fucking FINALLY BE OVER WITH.

Shiro took him on an official proper date. Where he drove. To a restaurant with cloth napkins. And then to a bar with a band. Shiro twirled him around the dance floor again. Except neither of them wore an an uncomfortable suit and he could definitely roll his hips against Shiro's without another chaperone flipping their shit. Shiro nips at his earlobe when he does that. He did it again. Smirked when Shiro's thumbs dig into his hips to pull him closer. "You are the worst." "You're not my student teacher." Shiro growled against the column of his throat. "You're right, Baby. I'm not."

[thisloveisredx]

listened to rep in full twice today… every bait and switch was a work of art indeed

[sparda3g]

Gintama Chapter 695 Review

Whenever someone ask, “What is Gintama,” this is the chapter to present. This one has nearly everything that represents the series. It has the stupidity, the comedy, the friendship, the speech, and the emotional connection. It was only missing the action, but even so, it’s good enough to understand. It’s also helpful for us to remind us why we love this series. It’s close to the end, but that won’t stop us to enjoy one last ride.

The chapter begins nearly identical to the last chapter’s page with Junior swinging Kondo around and toss him to the machine. I actually check back the last one to see if it is identical; it’s close though. Regardless, only the first page was similar as the rest are new content. If you recall the last chapter, multiple shots came toward to Kuyou, thanks to Kondo. That’s what I thought until this chapter. What really happened doesn’t involve with the Gorillas at all. Why? Because Kondo activated emergency sold separately mode. That’s a hilarious name.

As it says, it’s literally a separation mode and since the Bahnana is designed like a bunch of bananas, you can easily guess how the mode works. I’m seriously going to miss Sorachi’s wacky writing. Now that Gorillas are in their own crisis of crashing each separated ships; all thanks to Kondo. H can’t catch a break at all. He should have channeled Steve Urkel from Family Matters and say, “Did I do that???” That all being said if the Bahnana didn’t shoot those lasers, who did then?

Although it’s unfortunate for Kondo to deal with a new problem, because he’s Kondo, I thought this was a great bait and switch of Sorachi because this moment brings back the one and only Sakamoto. I was afraid that he wouldn’t make it, especially with only four chapters left, this included. You could imagine how happy I was to read his dialogues once more. It’s even better now the Joui Four reunion is complete once again. No longer have a big nose, he’s only rugged like a guy who is in debt and still working on it.

It’s also great to see Shijaku makes his return, luckily not savaged by Sougo and his gang. It ties in really well how this moment came about; with Shijaku getting involved with Sakamoto and how they spread the word in need of help. The shared dialogues with Shijaku and Sakamoto is hilariously charming. Those two are among the friendliest people in the universe, so what better way to ask for help than asking to lend some money. Once this is over, Shijaku will pay off his debt because that’s what friend do. Characters like them make you so excited when they are in pact. How Sorachi timed this is remarkable.

When it comes to Sakamoto and the Joui Three, it’s charming as you can expect from him. I love the fact he didn’t let them handle the problem alone and remind them that he’s part of the group as well. Even though Shouyo wasn’t his master, he can still support his friends. He has a funny line to address it, but it’s still effective as its meaning holds strong value. I really like where this ending is going. Mutsu is back with the group, just like good times. They stopped firing for they are about to unleash their secret weapon. This part is so funny.

The flashback reveals the secret weapon and it has to do with Kondo. This tie-in is fantastic. First of all, it’s goofy that one character’s design looks like a gorilla. However, it wasn’t designed for fun. When Kondo tried to communicate Sakamoto, his first person to contact was the Gorilla man. He thought he was speaking to another Gorilla race and because of that, he began to speak Gorilla’s language again. This series is going to end me before it ends.

The mix of intended and actual translation is hilarious. All Kondo’s intended lines were meant to ask Sakamoto for help as his ship is about to crash. However, the actual translation made him as a sacrificial hero who is going to crash the ship for an epic sendoff. Reading between the two is hysterical. Sakamoto was so moved by his bold words to die for their brethren. Kondo did not want to die as a hero, so his final line was screaming for help. The translation however made him look amazing by shouting the final attack, “Final Gorilla Crash!” I died.

The best part is it actually works. Not only it did massive damage to Kuyou, but it pushed it down right on the Altana Terminal. Hey, they wanted the altana, they damn well get one by crashing. The scenery is really nicely portrayed. It is quite unbelievable in a serious and comical way. It’s the best chance for Gintoki and others to settle the score for good. Never would I thought a banana would collide with another ship, but here you go. All hail to Kondo!

I thought the last chapter was a good ending for Kondo and Bubbles as they made their peace more or less. Apparently, there’s more to it and thankfully there is, because this is seriously wonderful. Not only Kondo has achieved his promise with Bubbles to bring her family to Earth, but he has earned the title, The King of Gorillas. All hail to Kondo indeed. As funny that was, the next set of lines is what surprised me the most.

What made the whole past 3 chapters based on Gorillas worth it aside from the amazing crash is Bubbles’ development. I’m not joking. She not only learned to appreciate Kondo’s action, but she also understand the value of friendship. The old wedding scene is such a nostalgia moment. Kondo’s friends took him back from her, but now, it’s time for him to take them back. Bubbles lays down his Shinseigumi’s uniform and he’s officially back where he belongs. Bubbles is the best animal character ever. You have no idea how that warmed my heart.

Sakamoto once again has a great monologue; this time, it goes in depth on why he’s fighting. It’s because the days of good times haven’t return; that includes Yorozuya. It’s his way of saying that his friends’ battle is his battle as well. When they’re not done, he’s not done. That’s what friends do; they support each other. That’s enough for him to fight. Tears are shed…

Speaking of tears, Kondo is finally back with Shinseigumi. I love how everyone was speechless to see him again and when he says, “Uho,” they approach him with glee. Amazing how they are reenacting the scene with Gorillas celebrating with him; that’s clever. I also love how everyone shouts “Uho” as well. That’s a family to remember forever. Lastly, I love how the translation reads, “Uho,” as to say he can finally catch a break from stupidity. He deserved it. This is so well written.

This was a wonderful chapter that defined the series nearly perfectly. It has great heart of friendship. It has the hilarity with Kondo’s final attack. It has the charming reward from the hilarity. Lastly, it has the reunion of a family that warmed your heart. It’s not even Yorozuya and I can already expect to be spectacular. The art has been solid and the monologues have been stellar. I can’t believe it’s ending, but it is what is. We are getting close to the finale. Let’s make every moment count.