#ever so self critical
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boop! 💙🤍
#drawing this reset me as a person my my crops are watered and my skin is clear#this is the most wholesome thing ive ever made in my entire life#based on the one panel from the mlp comic where theres sonilver hedgehogs in the background being absolutely adorable#i made. the lineart so cute and i was so worried about the rendering but im actually. pleased with it.#thank u silver your cuteness made my self criticism leave for a while....#this didnt even start out as really ship art but god they are so cute. what the hell. i need to go look at sonilver art.#i love silver...hes such a good guy#i recently read gotf and my love for him has grown tenfold (you can also probably see the inspiration in my colouring)#i am making a gotf fanart soon!!! i have a little sketch cooked up#it is sonadow as expected of course#anyways!! here are the two best boys for you#sonic the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#sonilver#my art
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“Penny for your thoughts” Surge
Send “Penny for your thoughts” to find out what my muse really thinks of yours
"Yyyyup. Here's the complicated one.
"Look, lemme be clear--Surge is a great gal and she's a good friend. 'Lil misguided, needs a lotta help. An' I'm down 'ta give it to her, alright? If ya wanna know how I feel about her then that's that an' we can end it right there.
"But,
"Ever since she told me--er, not me, my ''cat'' I guess--about what happened to her... I jus' dunno how 'ta feel. I know Iun't like her like I do Lyli or Sony. There ain't nothin' there for that.
"But.
"She's got that same confidence Lyli does, knowin' what she is an' ain't afraid 'ta show it. She's got some'a her scars, she's got some'a her looks--the girl ain't gonna flick her hair at me any time soon but those damn eyes I swear I'm seein' Lyli all over again.
"Is that why I'm helpin' her so much? 'Cause'a Lyli? Would I even help if--
"Eh, no, I probably would.
"But still. Bein' aroun' her.
"I... I feel kinda... like the old times. Like it's just me an' Lyli again. Ain't got nobody else 'ta deal with. Nobody else 'ta mess with. From when we first got that treehouse, until I got this gem an' Sony showed up.
"She makes me feel how I did back then. When I ain't have all these stupid responsibilities and stress from stupid greedy mayors all on my back. When I could bother Lyli an' just shoot the shit with her. When we'd laugh an' play games an' watch shows an' cuddle jus' 'cause we loved each other, we wanted 'ta be aroun' each other. I feel so damn relaxed aroun' her--
"DAMN IT, I AIN'T HAVIN' ANOTHER AFFAIR, I DON'T LIKE HER LIKE THAT.
"Iunno how else 'ta explain it. Me an' Lyli were in a pretty comfy spot for a bit there where we were the only people that mattered. Sure, we hugged and cuddled and were very touchy-feely with each other 'cause like, best friends, and also had this unrequited shit goin' on damn I wish one of us said somethin' sooner.
"But this ain't exactly that, either. I see Lyli in her, but the Lyli I'd call my best friend. Which is weird. Because I still have feelings for Lyli--that I have come to terms with. That's what's making it fuckin' weird for me 'ta pinpoint because I know for a fact when I see her face I don't wanna do any romance stuff. But.
"Man is it selfish 'ta say that I was really happy when she said she'd be movin' here? That my Ly--fuck, that Surge would be livin' here an' I could chill with her like every day? Dun't even need a momento, I can just drive to Cory's and chill with her and 'cause some fuckin' mischief. Be fuckin' bad, do fun stuff with her.
"I hate this. I'm gettin' Lyli vibes again from all my fuckin' words but I know in my heart that ain't what I'm feelin'. But am I deludin' myself in'ta thinkin' that? Or do I really think that? Iun't fuckin' know!!!
"Maybe I'm jus' bein' a baby an' I wanted more friends. More people that are like, tangible. Not somethin' I gotta keep teleportin' back an' forth for.
"Maybe I saw another destroyed person, an' I wanted 'ta help her as best as I could. I helped Lilac, every single day I helped that girl the best I could.
"Maybe I can help her too. That she's more than just Brevon's toy--DAMN IT I DID IT AGAIN.
"I'm done. Take my nonsense an' get out."
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My favorite comments on How Do You Sleep
#i have to admit that i grew up on 90s/2000s rap and hdys always seemed pretty mild to me#but i understand that in context paul took it very hard#tbh the absolute worst thing anyone could ever do to him is to criticize him publicly#to take away his ability to define himself by manipulating his reflection in others' eyes#bc paul was denied self actualization and relied so heavily on his reputation to function as his identity#the beatles#paul mccartney#john lennon#beatles#shitpost#ringo starr#george harrison#how do you sleep#hdys#op
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something about the show treating percy's use as only being to serve vex's joy kinda fucking hurts. like vex is distraught, she was in the stream and she was here, that's true. but they are framing this as if it's a romantic loss only and it's making me lose my mind. people don't lose their use to others when they enter a relationship. they don't just become somebody's partner. they're still a person. percy was a full person and vox machina is a family and everyone loved him. that was the point of tearing ripley apart in the original glintshore fight, they were nothing but pure rage because they just watched somebody they love die and at the end of the day, past the monsters and world ending threats everything is about their love with each other, as a group; platonic, familial, romantic, but love as a FAMILY. that is critical to understand. they are who they are because they all love each other, they love each other to the ends of the earth. and the show just. doesn't acknowledge that. percy died so vex could feel sad and that's it. truly what even is the point if nobody else cares. the death doesn't matter if nobody else cares. so percy's death doesn't matter.
#his last words being ''vex...'' shut the fuck up. say sike right now.#how has his only purpose been reduced to being a prop in this relationship? how has BOTH of their purposes been reduced to this??#the consequence of not including inter-party relationships and friendships; all those moments between kiki and percy; vax and pike; etc#all the ones PAST what they've become stereotyped as being their 'only relationships'#(pike+grog; pikelan; twins; vaxleth; percahlia)#is that you completely lose the pull of them as a group#if they each only care about each other if they're trying to date them why should we care?? like ACTUALLY why the fuck should we care#nobody else ever stands up for the people in partnered relationships and these are the moments where it shows#i have so many feelings. all of them require me to stop watching and go listen to the original podcast of the stream again to self soothe#its fineeee its okayyyy its just a showwww its not going to be exactly what i wanttttt its fineeeeee#deep breaths while i go touch grass. i shall return#critical role#vox machina#tlovm#cr1#percy de rolo#vex'ahlia#perc'ahlia#tlovm spoilers#the legend of vox machina#tlovm season 3
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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Genuine question as I am curious — I know it’s pretty obvious with his expressions/ body language that Daniel seemed shy/insecure(?) about having his braces, but has he ever outright said anything about feeling that way with them? Just out of curiosity as I am new around here!
“I feel very different in terms of looks. Fortunately, experience also bought me better looks. I’m not really too fond of showing people photos of me when I was younger”
#well he doesn’t exactly say he was self-conscious of his braces but he was definitely very self-conscious about how he looked#it’s always very interesting to me the way Daniel talks about his younger self#it’s so different from how other f1 drivers talk about their early days#he’s so self-critical of younger him that I wish he was a bit more forgiving of younger him#the way he’s admitted he was never a standout talent during his karting days#that he was so hesitant to get involved in battles that his dad got mad at him#the way on the gypsy tales podcast he talks about Motocross riders being fearless and how he doesn’t have that until jase interrupts him -#to say how how mad he is because just a few days ago he was throwing a car around on a street circuit at some 300kph#the way in this video with will he describes himself walking into the paddock like a ‘headless chick’#the way he has said so many times he was scared to move away from home. how uncertain he was he would ever succeed#and then that one video towards the end of 2022 when he says ‘I was just Daniel then’ in reference to his younger self#like he has such a distinct way of looking at his younger self. like he views that part of him almost as a separate entity from the him now#and I guess that’s because it took a lot of work and years to build that confidence of becoming Daniel ricciardo#a confidence he got as he managed to survive the shark tank of the red bull junior academy#a confidence he got from beating his 4x wdc teammate. from winning the most insane races#and that confidence then getting completely decimated in the space of a few months in 2022#and even now the more he says he is confident you can still see that tiny hesitancy#how every time he gets a good result you see how he yearns to lean back into his confident Daniel schtick#and he may just completely embrace it soon anyway <3#daniel ricciardo#anon ask
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To Whom It May Concern
Tim couldn’t stay.
No matter what Bruce had said when he caught Tim in the act of laying the paper trail to establish his Fake Uncle, no matter how long Dick had sobbed into the phone at him during an inordinately expensive long distance (read: off planet) phone call, no matter how much Alfred had been fussing over him and insisting it was no trouble at all to care for him since Tim’s scheme had been revealed and promptly foiled, it just didn’t change the fact that Tim couldn’t stay. Truthfully, the Wayne family’s apparent sudden burst of affection for him actually made this whole thing worse because somewhere along the way, without even trying, Tim had failed to keep things wholly professional between them and somehow tricked them into thinking he belonged in their family!
He couldn’t let it stand. For the sake of Jason’s memory, for the sake of preserving the sanctity of the true Wayne family, he had to stop this… this absurdity of pretending that Tim belonged with them from continuing! Tim had to run. Tim had to vanish. It was the only way to make things right again. Sure, the thought of never seeing any of them again, the thought of being done with Bruce and Alfred and Dick and Barbara and everyone in his life he currently held dear once and for all made it feel as though his heart was being ripped out of his chest only to be shoved back down his throat to stop the flow of air into his body—but it didn’t matter. He didn’t matter, not nearly as much as they did. This would be for their own good.
Tim was leaving, and it turned out to be easier than he thought it would be in the end. Not emotionally easier, but logistically easier. Bruce had been extra attentive lately, so he thought he’d have to fake an injury and get ‘benched’ so that they would lower their guard long enough for him to slip away. But by some divine stroke of luck, a new player had waltzed onto Gotham’s criminal scene not too long after Tim’s Fake Uncle plan fell through and started making threats against Batman and Robin. They had apparently freaked B out enough to prompt him to send Tim off to Titan’s Tower to ‘focus on his team for awhile’. Tim had accepted the command with the requisite amount of complaint, planted some fake texts to make it look like he’d actually communicated to his Team that he would be there, shoved everything from his guest room in the Manor that he couldn’t bear to part with into a duffel bag underneath a spare uniform, gave Bruce what only he knew was a more emotionally charged nod goodbye than usual, and then poof. Tim Drake was zapped out of the Batcave for the last time ever.
He let himself have one night in the Tower. Partly to catch a few hours of sleep in a familiar and secure environment, but mostly so he could clean up his room for its next occupant, sweep his belongings and his person for any extra trackers, and repack his bag more efficiently. He also took the time to grab a spare backpack and fill it up with emergency rations. While he was taking plenty of cash, he didn’t want to risk having to go into stores with security cameras for a while, at least until he’d cleared a suitable distance from San Francisco proper as well as implemented the first of his many planned disguises. He didn’t think a bottle of cheap hair dye and some colored contacts would be enough to fool Oracle indefinitely, but if he was appropriately cautious it might keep her from getting a confirmation of his location long enough for the Bats to either get bored looking for him or to actually realize they were better off without him around.
When the early rays of dawn started to bathe the sides of Titan’s Tower in ember colored light, he was off. He left behind seven trackers pulled from his clothes and bag and one more from behind his ear; he’d kept the one he noticed in his favorite pair of sneakers because it was a type that wouldn’t start transmitting data until the Bats actively started tracking it and he was hoping to find someone who wore his size at the bus station he could pay to wear them so he could throw them off for even longer. If all else failed, he would just toss them in an out of the way trash can. He had also left a letter of resignation for Batman that he’d whipped up based off of an online template, signed and sealed and awaiting discovery atop the pillow in his nearly empty dorm room (he had tried for something more personal, a longer note of explanation for Bruce about why he couldn’t stay despite being asked, but—the words just wouldn’t come, and he’d been running out of time). His bag was heavy, courtesy of all of the extra supplies he’d grabbed in anticipation of having to evade not only Batman’s team but the rest of the Justice League. His heart was heavy, courtesy of emotional baggage that he wished was as easy to unpack as his actual bags would be when he finally found somewhere to settle.
He boarded the first bus he saw after he’d gone a few blocks and took a seat towards the back, where he leaned against the window and stared back at the iconic giant T that he used to belong in, however briefly, until it disappeared from sight. And just like that, Tim Drake’s life as Robin was over.
—
To Whom It May Concern:
This letter is to formally notify you that I’m resigning as Robin in Gotham City, effective immediately.
Thank you so much for the opportunity to work with you all for the past three years. I’ve enjoyed getting to know the team and appreciated the opportunity to learn about vigilantism and hone my detective skills. I’m excited to take these skills with me as I pursue the next step of my career.
During the past two weeks, I have done everything possible to wrap up any ongoing cases and leave no unfinished business. The Robin suit as well as my spare have been cleaned and placed in the armory of Titan’s Tower along with any gear I have been issued.
I wish Batman and team the best, but am afraid I will be out of contact for the foreseeable future.
Sincerely,
T. J. Drake
—
Red Hood stalked into Titan’s Tower with all the grace of a wildcat closing in on its prey, his vicious smirk hidden by his helmet, his unauthorized entrance hidden by virtue of the heroes’ own stupidity in failing to remove his codes from the database. Seriously—he’d thought gaining entry into their so-called fortress would be the hardest part of this little trip, and had only tried his access codes for the sake of checking the most stupidly obvious Plan A off his list! For them to work, to realize that there was nothing truly separating the precious sidekicks from the wrath of a vengeance minded crime lord, well… it sure made the message he was about to send feel all the more poignant.
He had come equipped to subdue an entire horde of Teeny Titans without hurting them (much), but to his surprise, the tower was empty of kid sidekicks despite Robin having been sent to work with his team yesterday afternoon, a fact Jason had gleaned last night from listening to the mind numbing chatter of Nightwing being bored on a stakeout and wanting to chat with anyone over the comms Jason had hacked into. Which he’d done in order to better plan his aggressive takeover of Crime Alley, not because he missed hearing his family’s voices. Nope.
(Since coming back to Gotham, it had been more difficult than he anticipated to stick to the plan when some part of his mind still stubbornly clung to those foolish, childhood dreams of belonging and family and a father who gave a shit and things like that, and kept popping up with annoying questions like ‘what if he revealed his identity to Dick or Alfred or someone just to see if maybe Talia had been right and they’d want him back after all. Clearly, the existence of a new Robin meant that they’d never really given a damn about him, so he was going to go through with this thing, just watch him.)
Truly this had to be fate, because the path to Robin was practically unfolding before him with no barriers. All that was left to do was find where in this gigantic clubhouse the itty little birdie was nesting. Jason tried the common room first. Then the kitchen. Then the rec room. And then the training floor. And the med bay. And then the armory, where he found Robin’s suit, but no actual Robin. He supposed the next place to check would be Robin’s bedroom, because even though it was well past eleven, Drake was a teenager and could conceivably be sleeping in, especially since there was no Alfred around to rouse him at a reasonable hour. Luckily, the doors on the floor with sleeping quarters were all clearly marked with either the name or symbol of the person it belonged to, so it was easy enough to find the one with that all too familiar stylized ‘R’. Jason paused to take a steadying breath before gritting his teeth and deciding to really make an entrance by kicking down the door.
…To an empty bedroom. Like, not just devoid of Tim Drake, but also devoid of books, trinkets, photos, decoration, clothes, dishes, mess, et cetera, et cetera. It looked as clean and sterile as a hotel room, and if Jason hadn’t literally just seen Robin’s insignia on the door he would think he’d entered an unassigned room by mistake. He frowned and yanked off his helmet, as if looking with his own two eyes would suddenly change the scene, but no. Nothing. He strode into the room and yanked open the closet—empty. He walked over to the desk and yanked open the top drawer—empty. He yanked open the bottom drawer, and mostly empty except for—wait, was that a pile of deactivated Bat trackers? Fucking bizarre. When he stood up, he glanced around again, and this time something on the bed caught his eye. It had been easy to miss against the white pillowcase, but there was an envelope tucked up against the pillow. With a scowl, he stalked over and grabbed it.
When Jason flipped it over, he noted that it was addressed to Batman, but decided that since he was a crime lord now he didn’t have to care about something as trivial as opening someone else’s mail. He didn't want to take off his gloves and risk leaving prints on anything, so he pulled out a dagger and used it to slice open the envelope. As he flipped it over to dump its contents on the desk, he had the fleeting thought that he probably should have put back on his mask in case this had been some villain’s ploy to poison Batman, but luckily all that fell out was a single sheet of printer paper folded into thirds.
This he was careful not to damage as he unfolded it. It wasn’t a long note, just a few small paragraphs, so it was quick enough to read: To whom it may concern. This letter is to formally notify you that I’m resigning as Robin in Gotham City, effective immediately…
Jason dropped the letter and took a step back, staring at the innocuous piece of paper with wide eyes and racing thoughts. Robin had—Drake wasn’t—Timothy—the kid, he was quitting? Leaving? Gone?
It could be a trap. It probably was a trap. Except Robin shouldn’t have had any way of knowing Red Hood would be able to track him all the way to Titan’s Tower so why would he have set a trap for him in the first place? A trap for someone else, then? If it was, it was really, really stupid of him because the kid had signed his resignation letter from Robin with his actual name, and surely he wouldn’t have made it this far if he were that careless with his identity. So, it was either a very bad trap, or not a trap at all. And if it was not a trap at all, then…
Then Robin had… resigned. Which, ok, Jason’s stated goal coming into this thing was to get Tim Drake to stop being Robin. So he should be happy about this, right? Except he’d not gotten to toss the kid around and work out his aggression at all so there was no satisfaction in it. Also, the timing was fucking obnoxious. Go figure that the very day he decides to do something about his replacement, the kid decides to peace out of the Gotham vigilante scene and… and go…
… Somewhere. Jason had no idea where Tim Drake would go if he were no longer Robin. Given how he’d waited until he was alone and then left the note to be found on the other side of the country, Jason had a sneaking suspicion that returning to Gotham was currently off the table. The letter had said he would be ‘out of contact’ for the foreseeable future; Jason could read between the lines enough to figure out that meant he was running away.
—Which, fuck. Another Robin was running away from Batman because of… well, Jason didn’t know what this kid’s issue with B was, but there were plenty of potential flaws in the man to choose from so Jason was going to play it safe and assume it was something Bruce did. Clearly, the man could never learn. And now, this poor dumb Robin was going to pay the price! Jason was more than familiar with the number of horrors that awaited kids who ended up on their own. He could starve; he could freeze to death; he could catch some disease like the flu, or get cut on a rusty nail and get tetanus, and then die from it because he couldn’t access medical treatment. He could get mugged, or harassed by cops, or snatched up by traffickers, or—
And fine; Jason himself had meant to hurt him. But that had been for ideological purposes, to prove a point about putting children in danger and not taking good enough care of them and stuff. It wasn’t like he was going to hurt him that badly, just bad enough to freak out Bruce a bit. But Jason was also the Red Hood, and the Red Hood’s mission was to do what was necessary to stop awful shit from happening to vulnerable kids. And this stupid, stupid letter was apparently enough to abruptly transfer Timothy Drake into that category in his head.
Everything Jason had heard about the kid said he was smart, and the timing of his disappearance pointed to some thoughtful planning on his part. Jason could imagine that the little shit had some sort of plan in place to evade Batman’s attempts to locate him, and he probably could manage to run without getting caught by Bruce and the Gotham team for a while. Heck, the kid probably had strategies to get away from most if not all of the Justice League members, since B was sure to call in favors once he got frantic enough about the little bird. But one thing the kid likely did not plan for was being pursued by him. Ex-Robin, currently a crime lord, League of Assassins connections, and a bone to pick with Timothy specifically? (He ran away from home and left a fucking resignation letter about it? Does he not realize what that would do to Dick, to Alfred, to Bruce—)
After stuffing the letter into his pocket, Jason put back on his helmet and stalked out of Titans Tower as silently as he’d arrived, this time with a new yet equally furious purpose sharpening his steps. Sucked to be Timothy Drake, he thought, because the Red Hood got his message and he was officially concerned.
#my writing#my fanfic#tim drake#jason todd#to whom it may concern#would be what this fic is called if I ever continue it haha#but this is as far as I got and then kinda lost steam#but it stands as a one shot pretty nicely so I thought I'd share it here see what people thought. ya know.#could it be a multi chapter fic one day? sure. what do I know. will it be soon? probably not.#um ok what else#unreliable narrator#tim drake has self worth issues#are probably the two most critical tags/warnings for this one.#anyway actually being on desktop is giving me way too much power look at me go all these tags and no typos damn!
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the episode after they defeat ludinus is going to be seven hours long. it's not going to be the finale, they're just finally going to fucking talk about all their feelings and have a group cry session. the real campaign finale will be after thirteen solid episodes revolving around popcon and it'll be like, 4hr 11m
#🍃#critical role#critrole#the real reason they're not talking to each other is because they wanna wait until everyone else in the world is safe#and THEN they can cry#(that's not even a joke btw i genuinely think that)#you ever been so self-sacrificing you think even crying over your damage is too selfish
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2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Qualifiying - Fernando Alonso
#half asleep making these istg#yayyyy p9? idk ig i expected him to do better#old man asleep at the wheel whats new 😴#he was very quick w this interview i wonder if he was eager to get to bed#i certainly am rn#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#2023 las vegas gp#(i wish i could atop feeling insecure abt my gifs. i do it for fun.)#(of course i want them to look somewhat good but i get a bit ill over it)#(there was somw drama on here at some point that made me want to completely stop posting then ngl)#(cause like what is the point if im not as good as others ig :/ this is kinda vague posting but it made me so uncomfortable)#(as i said. i do it for fun in quick time bcs yay jsut wanna post smth i found cute)#(but ever sincce that thing happened its just made me extremely self critical and insecure abt posting)#(idk why im saying this. kinda repressing the urge tk be like 'SRY THESE ARE TERRIBLE. YEAH.')#(i need to sleep. but i often feel like this literally every time i post now bcs some people get on their high horse and ruin people's fun)#(iykyk ig. its smth bothering me lately. but i hate to act so morose. but i still feel bad abt the quality sometimes. i guess.)#we do a little bit of f1
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given that seems to be the new popular take in the fandom at large since totk got out: let the record show that I'll gladly let myself get repeatedly manipulated by the wind waker speech and be foolishly moved by its implications over rejecting space for humanity and vulnerability in the monstrous and the dispossessed, and then feeling weirdly smug about severing that fleeting attempt at connection and deem it obviously insincere
#tloz#wind waker#ww#ganondorf#zelda fandom critical#it's just not even nice for the writers?#like they obviously tried something here#it's thematically resonant with the rest of the text#you don't have to connect with it personally of course#the complexity of a genuine cause being taken over by self importance and cruelty and what is owed to whom in the bloody aftermath#but to reject that it tried to touch upon something ambiguous and complicated is a shame in my opinion#voluntarily depriving yourself of depth sure is a move I don't understand#(the youtuboys of the world are just *so smug* about this and I find it... kinda tragic modern nintendo seems to agree with them)#(not to mention... seeing a guy coded as foreign going “hey I was sick of having nothing and wanted more for myself” and going)#(“!!!! that's manipulative and illegitimate and deserves no sympathy whatsoever” is a questionnable gut reflex to cultivate in my opinion)#(yearning for a privilege ganon could only ever access through submission can *absolutely* coexist with tyranny and selfishness)#(and isn't that layered and complicated and unfair to everybody involved?)#(doesn't that make for MUCH richer conflict than “he lied because he was greedy for power”?)
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how it feels to read people on this site criticize death of the outsider
#hater corner <- out of love#before i speak tho. its an criticism of the game and not personal connections people form with it. hope this makes sense#i like the outsider mortal and daud and billie of all people freeing him! there is so much potential in this idea#this is a /j but if daud wanted to fuck around and find out whats made the outsider it would be more accurate to his character#than daud blaming the outsider for his own actions. and billie would have her own journey of self-discovery#they could do it together without being reduced to an old man and a caretaker#when i first saw the playthrough i actually really liked it. and i still stand by it being a good game if it wasnt in dh universe. it is fu#and it has interesting themes. but none of them relate to the other dh games. or contradict them#anyway. all of that has already been said and in way better than i ever can#the saddest thing to me is that its trying to sell a story about the characters that we already know and love - and the world we love too#without getting deep into any of it. instead of working with existent depth its creating new lore thats loosely tied to the old one#or overexplaining it when dh1 proves how ambiguity can enrich the narrative#and i dont want to defend it bc of the development hell it went through.its not genuine and its not meeting the standard games before it se#and it the end its just sad. id love a good billie game#talk tag#dh related#sorry for grammar mistakes and typos. im tired
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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thinking abt creatives and self criticism and wondering if the whole capitalism grindset thing is part of why people think the only things they produce that are worthy of praise are things that take Significant time and effort, and thus when you're naturally good at, or enjoy the process of, creating enough that it doesnt feel difficult, you devalue your own creation bc you feel as if it didnt take enough out of you.
anyway. its very difficult to view your own work in an objective way but i can almost guarantee you that a lot of the flaws you find are not going to be obvious to most of your audience.
Your audience is not desperately searching for fault with your work the way you are as its creator.
#you ever see the most jaw dropping art ever and the artist is like#'ugh this was so messy i cant clean up these Super Precise Details so the whole piece kinda sucks but here have it anyway'#and its like babe. i dont even know what those details ur talking abt are.#a lot of the things you notice in the hours you spend with your art are things completely imperceptible to most.#obviously self criticism is necessary for finding the bits you need to improve. but when it moves into degrading yr own work??#ur doing yourself a disservice<\3
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I hate being such an over thinker because anytime I write something angsty, I always worry that it sounds better in my head and is not enough angst 😩
#like my goal is to write something gut wrenching 😭#I know we are our own worst critics but I just wanna write something that moves other like music moves me#I am working on an angst fic rn#but i really want to write about another Rhysand’s sister oc whose story gives off angst#different to my other OC (Valeria)#so many ideas and I waste most of my time overthinking 😭#I also am so self conscious of my writing when it comes to actual plot lines and character development#for the same reason…overthinking#anyway sorry for my tag rambling#idk if anyone ever reads this but if you happen to be reading this…#hi lol#hope you have a good day/night 💜#hope rambles
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I think my favourite AU angst scenario for Sasuke and Itachi is the one where Sasuke gets a hint somehow that Itachi has been Lying about things much earlier, so in order to discover the truth he causes some kind of bodily harm to himself in front of Itachi (usually almost fatal), which gets him to rush towards him in a panic to prevent Sasuke from hurting himself further. I've only seen about 2 examples of this in all my years as a Naruto fan but it's so good.
#send post#Bro#I'm sleep-deprived that's why I'm posting more than usual#Anyways I'm thinking about that one fanart where Sasuke impales both of them with his sword to commit murder-suicide and Itachi's entire#façade breaks entirely. It's so GOOD.#But also it's even better if they're both still alive after Sasuke makes his self-harm attempt. He's taken critical damage but now Itachi#has to nurse him back to health to keep him alive while Sasuke's just trying to process the insanity of it.#He'd be feeling a lot of things but I think that would be the angriest he would ever feel in his life.#The point is Sasuke trying to grapple with the idea that Itachi caused so much harm to him under the guise of protecting him#while Itachi's still alive + Itachi not being allowed the relief of death. And has to live with everything he's done +#that his brother currently despises him more than when he'd betrayed him and that it hurts but he knows he can't#expect anything more than that. But it still Hurts. And he has to live with it.
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Does anyone have experience with having very low self worth (due to trauma, gaslighting, just in general people stomping on you for years) and a very loud inner critic and learning to confront said inner critic and did it work, what technique did you train on yourself, did you manage to change your train of thought?? Please tell me...
#My inner critic is so loud and mighty like all of the endbosses of every video game ever#It feels impossible to fight#Mental health#Self esteem#Self worth#Self confidence#Advice#Depression#Anxiety#ADHD#ptsd#Therapy#cognitive behavioral therapy
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