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zenonaa · 3 years

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'The smart thing would have been for Touko to retire to her room. Anyone could wear the mask of a handsome man, even a monster. Instead, she found herself following him, spurred on by her own curiosity, not only about what he offered to tell her but why he wanted to tell her something potentially so important. As she walked, she felt extra conscious of the holster of scissors hugging her thigh. Throughout her life, she had met many monsters that wore fake faces, but with Byakuya, she felt sure he didn’t wield a mask hiding his true self.

It was a gut instinct. No. Not gut. Her heart told her this.'

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Fukawa Touko/Togami Byakuya Characters: Fukawa Touko, Togami Byakuya Additional Tags: Togafuka Week, talent swap Summary: Talent Swap AU! Togami and Fukawa bump into each other and discuss what motive Monobear would need to provide to push them to murder. Also there may or may not be smooching.

Comments: A (late) Day 5 for TogaFuka Week - Swap! Takes place in the universe from this fic I wrote in 2016. When I was a more optimistic Livi, I wanted to write a multichapter fic for this talent swap.

💗 Please like, share and comment if you enjoyed it! 💗

***

Ten students remained.

As Touko Fukawa sat at her desk, twirling a pen between her fingers, she passed over their corpses. She stepped over Yasuhiro and Kiyotaka. Skipped around Hifumi and Chihiro. Hopped across Sakura and Celes. Of course, she wasn’t really maneuvering around them. Her dorm obtained no bodies. In reality, they were tucked away wherever Monobear dragged them to once it had finished with them. What had been described was figurative, as could be found in a passage from a literary novel.

Not that Touko was a published author. The title of Super High School Level Writer belonged to her classmate, Byakuya Togami. Touko Fukawa was the Super High School Level Heir, not that her title was anything to scoff at. Already she had earned billions of yen, and she had survived more attempts on her life than anyone else here. Except perhaps Sakura, the Super High School Level Soldier. But she was dead so she didn’t count.

Other than Sakura, Kyouko was also likely to have fought off death, and Touko wondered whether the Fighter had participated in any deadly battles. Whether she had inflicted such pain onto others. Whether she had ever murdered an opponent before arriving at this school.

Touko had. Killed people.

Not in the way her alter had, puncturing the veins and lungs of corrupt businessmen, of perverts, of half-siblings, always with scissors, always with a signature written in the victim’s blood nearby. No, Touko didn’t need to do that. With victims working for other corporations, she struck them bankrupt. In her conglomerate, she confiscated jobs, leaving victims to drown in their desperation as they tried to stay afloat. She exposed fraud, blackmail attempts, human trafficking, and with nowhere for her victims’ darkness to hide, they withered in the light.

Memories dug into her skin like termites. Tasting bile, she looked up from her desk. The walls of her room lurched toward Touko before reeling back into place. If she stayed here any longer, the room would close its jaws and crush her to pieces. She stood up, her chair shunting backward with a grunt, and marched to the door.

Ahead of her lay a silent corridor. Most of the others were probably sleeping by this time. Touko stayed on guard as she wrapped her arms around herself and started plodding along with no particular destination in mind. The cafeteria would be shut, so she couldn’t acquire a cup of tea to try to soothe her jittering nerves from there. While she had glimpsed a box of teabags in the storage room a few days ago while searching for some towels, she still had no way to heat them up.

Then she remembered she had also spotted some chocolate in there, and chocolate was supposed to be able to help calm a person down. That was better than nothing.

Touko quickened her pace, moving with more purpose now. Maybe she was being reckless. Six of them had been slain and another motive dangled over their heads. Someone would surely attempt murder for what Monobear had on offer. Not her, but someone else would. All Touko had to do was ensure she wasn’t the victim.

By the time she entered the storage room, she hadn’t seen Monobear nor any other students. The idea of returning to her room, where the only sounds would be her own thoughts, made her stomach roll, so she decided to eat her chocolate in the library. Reading about another’s life ought to distract her from her own. Grabbing two bars, she left, and she soon arrived at the library. She managed a few paces forward before she heard rustling, turning her blood to ice, freezing her, rendering her immobile.

Moments later, Byakuya Togami emerged from behind a bookcase. His presence in the library wasn’t shocking in and of itself. He was the Super High School Level Writer and an avid reader. Touko just hadn’t expected him to be here so late. Though she had seen him here during the evenings, she usually stayed in her room after the nighttime announcement so never saw him in here after that. She would have thought he would have kept to his room at this hour, especially when one took into account the latest motive to murder.

“Which one are you?” he asked her. When she entered, she hadn’t made much noise - at least, she thought she hadn’t, but Byakuya seemed to have homed in on her as soon as she came in. “The abhorrent admirer, or the creepy loner girl?”

“I’m Touko Fukawa,” she replied.

“The latter then.”

She stayed where she was, and he stayed where he was.

“Have you come to murder me?” he asked. “Or is this just a regular stalker with a crush behaviour?”

Touko squeaked and shook her head. Her cheeks burned. “I... I came here to read, that’s all.”

“You’re rather jittery. Does my presence unsettle you? Do you believe that I intend to murder you?”

A gasp cracked in her throat. He sighed and pushed up his glasses.

“Compose yourself. I will not harm you right now. I intend to be the last man standing. The survivor who confronts and defeats the monster at the end.” Byakuya’s brow furrowed, his face darkening. “I refuse to yield to the pressure that Monobear tries to inflict on us.”

“... is that it?” Touko asked, her voice a pinprick. “You don’t plan on murdering anyone because two students will be allowed to leave? It ruins your envisioned ending?”

That was the motive. For the next murder, if the perpentrator was not voted out in their victim’s trial, they were allowed to choose another student to graduate with them.

“Not quite. I couldn’t care less if another escaped with me.” The bitter twist of his lips morphed into a smirk. “It’s simply too early for this to end. The plot has barely reached the halfway point.”

Even with such a wicked expression, he was still handsome. Touko’s heart raced watching him. By now, the chocolate bars in her hands had crumbled from the pressure of her fists. Not that it mattered, because her insides were writhing too much for her to keep any food down. She shifted her weight between feet.

“You don’t have to believe me,” he told her. He cocked his head to one side, his gaze as sharp as a knife. “I do wonder about you, though.”

“Even if I wanted to kill anyone, I couldn’t,” she said. “Everyone knows about my alter, so I would be the first person to be heavily scrutinised and suspected.”

His stare embedded deeper.

“Still. I must be on my guard. Your alter may wish to seek revenge on me for revealing her identity,” said Byakuya.

Touko hunched her shoulders. She should have hated Byakuya for announcing her secret in the last trial, even if the alternative was being framed by Hifumi and dying. After all, when a person shoved another out of a window on the top floor of a blazing building, the fall still left bruises.

And yet the sight of him still filled her chest with butterflies.

“My alter wants to survive as much as any of us,” said Touko.

“None of the motives so far seem to have impelled either of us to murder,” remarked Byakuya. “Not money... not the paranoia of another owning one of our secrets... not being forced to sleep in the same room, in the same clothes, and abide by the same rigid routine everyday.”

He trailed off. She didn’t offer a word to the silence, waiting to see what he was getting at, if anything.

“Tell me, what would drive you to murder?” he asked her.

“I told you - ”

“ - that you’re always going to be a suspect because of Genocider Syo,” he interrupted with a flap of his hand. “You already said. But is there nothing that Monobear can do to force your hand?”

Touko edged back a step, eyeing him. She found it hard to tell if the fluttering inside of her was still attraction, or fear. “What are you? The m-mastermind?”

He smirked. “That would be a twist, but no. Curiosity.”

“There is nothing that Monobear could offer me,” she said firmly, even if her legs were trembling. To counteract that, she clenched her legs together and further mutilated the chocolate bars in her tightening fists. “What about you? What would push you to murder?”

The glimmer in his eyes disappeared as he glanced away. “This isn’t the best location to discuss this. Monobear may be listening in.” He returned his gaze to her. “How about we continue this conversation elsewhere? The locker room by the baths will provide sufficient privacy.”

She was still processing his offer when he strode toward her. She stiffened. Didn’t breathe. He paused next to her.

“You may stay here, or hurry back to your room if you desire,” he said. “Should you wish to indulge me in more conversation, however, you know where I will be. I shall be there for the next hour, with an answer to your question.”

Touko stood motionlessly as she listened to Byakuya’s receding footsteps. The smart thing would have been for Touko to retire to her room. Anyone could wear the mask of a handsome man, even a monster. Instead, she found herself following him, spurred on by her own curiosity, not only about what he offered to tell her but why he wanted to tell her something potentially so important. As she walked, she felt extra conscious of the holster of scissors hugging her thigh. Throughout her life, she had met many monsters that wore fake faces, but with Byakuya, she felt sure he didn’t wield a mask hiding his true self.

It was a gut instinct. No. Not gut. Her heart told her this.

They arrived at the locker room together, slipping past the noren curtain.

“So what about you?” asked Touko once both were well inside. She had thrown away the chocolates on the way there and could now fidget her hands together. “What could convince you to deviate from your plot outline?”

He was already standing near Touko, but he took a step toward her, approaching like the swell of an oncoming wave.

“Perhaps,” he said, dragging up his glasses, then hers, “a love interest.”

Her breath caught in her throat. Byakuya dipped his head, drawing closer and closer. Touko could have pushed him away. Kicked him between the legs. But she didn’t. She didn’t want to. As their lips pressed together, and his hands rested against her upper arms, her heels creaked away from the ground and her hands latched onto his waist.

Byakuya withdrew first. Touko wobbled for a moment, feeling light-headed. Even though he had initiated the kiss, she still expected him to grimace and swipe the back of his hand across his mouth. He scraped his teeth lightly against his lips, wetting them. Tasting. Then he made eye contact again.

“Hm? Are you suffering from post-kiss catatonia?” he asked. She stirred, the fog in her head not yet fully cleared.

“I’m s-surprised.”

“That is what is known as a test kiss.”

Touko squinted. “Test kiss?”

“It’s a trope that means... I am testing to see if you would partner with me in murdering one of our classmates.”

Her head jerked back. “W-What?”

He held out his hand toward her.

“Would you commit murder with me, Touko Fukawa?” he asked like a marriage proposal. Touko’s eyes flickered.

“I...”

She didn’t finish her sentence. His fingers curled into his hand before retreating, coming to rest on his hip.

“It doesn’t matter. As I told you, I have no intention of murdering yet. This was really a test to see if you could be recruited for murder. Though as you have said, due to your alter, you are by default a prime suspect.”

A test. There was always some kind of catch. Touko nodded, gazing down at her feet. She should have hated him.

“That’s all,” he said. “You are dismissed.”

The room hummed.

“Goodbye, Fukawa,” he said. “Go to your room now.”

Touko turned away and trudged out. With her back to him, she didn’t see him bring his hand to his lips, not to wipe his mouth, but as if he could still feel the kiss lingering.

She should have hated him.

And yet... she was smiling as bright as a butterfly.

#togafuka #touko fukawa #byakuya togami #danganronpa #toko fukawa #fanfiction #one shot #togafukaweek

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justmypartner · 3 years

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Make it Work: Chapter 7

Summary: When offered a permanent position with the FBI, Hailey agrees to take it under one condition: Jay comes too. As their personal lives and work lives begin to change, the two partners find it increasingly difficult to navigate their complex relationship and manage their feelings for one another.

Writer’s Note: Angst, angst, and more angst! Please push through it though, because next chapter will make up for it. I promise ;) 3 more chapters after this one! As always, thank you so so much for reading!!!

Tagging: @angelsjedi , @brookerz122493 , @cpdfan2014 , @the–carousel , @maya-asturias , @itsdesiree86 , @tvshowsaremyhappyplace

Read on AO3 or below

It wasn’t a dream, was the first thought in Jay’s mind when he woke up the next morning. He laid in bed, squinting at the shadows on his ceiling created by the sunlight creeping in through the shades on his window. A slew of curses fell from his mouth as memories from the night before flooded his mind. He became increasingly aware of the lingering effects of the liquor as his head pounded and the room seemed to spin around him. The deep desire for a glass of water was the only motivation getting him up and out of bed. He skipped his usual morning coffee, downing a few large glasses of water and painkillers in its place. As bad as managing a hangover at work sounded, nothing seemed worse to him than having to face Hailey. It should have made him relieved to see the feelings he had for her be reciprocated, but it wasn’t enough to ease the pain that came from leaving her all alone with those feelings up in the air.

He dragged himself into work, knowing his hangover was written all over his face. He didn’t care. All he cared about at that point was surviving the day and making sure he and Hailey were okay.

He would have been lying if he said he wasn’t relieved to see her desk empty when he entered the bullpen. He felt like he needed a few more moments to prepare himself before having to face her. He quietly made his way to his desk, slumping in his chair and taking a breather.

“Long night there, Halstead?” Walker asked over the monitor on Jay’s desk. His face scrunched up at the high volume of the man’s voice.

“Would you keep it down,” Jay said with a groan, eliciting a low laugh out of both Walker and Daisy who sat across from him, watching him suffer with amusement.

“Looks like it was a long night for Blondie there too,” Walker called out as his eyes tracked someone over Jay’s shoulder. He didn’t have to turn around to know he was talking about Hailey, but the nickname caught him off guard. She wasn’t big on nicknames, especially one like that. Reluctantly, he turned his head to see her walking in sluggishly as she tried to rub away the tired look in her eyes. She waved Walker and his teasing comments off before settling in her chair the same way Jay had.

“What’d you two get into last night?” Daisy questioned.

“Huh, wha- What do you mean?” Jay stuttered out nervously, the memories of the night before flashing in his mind. Memories so vivid he felt like he could still feel her breath against his face and her touch on his skin.

“What do I mean? I mean, why are you two rolling in here like a bunch of frat boys on a Sunday morning?” Daisy questioned with a laugh. Jay swallowed hard, looking over at Hailey whose eyes met his briefly before darting away.

“Right… that would be a bottle of tequila,” Hailey said plainly before busying herself on her computer. Jay did the same and their two fellow agents took the hint, shrugging off the pair’s avoidance and settling back at their desks. It was obvious she remembered the night before just as clearly as he did, and that made him nervous.

They were assigned a string of robberies that had taken place at a few high-security medical facilities around Midtown. Drake sent the two pairs out to a number of the facilities to interview witnesses and canvas. Jay was happy to be out of the office, but he knew the second the two of them were alone in the car, the awkward tension that existed in the office would only be ten times worse.

They climbed into the car quietly, driving in silence for a few minutes. However, it wasn’t their usual comfortable silence. The silence was deafening and Jay was distracted, something he knew could pose dangers in the field. He knew they had to air things out.

“Hailey, about last night-“ he began before she cut him off.

“Jay, no. It’s fine. We were both… very drunk,” she said with emphasis on the last two words. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“ this time Jay cut her off.

“What? No, I’m the one that should be sorry. I didn’t want you to think that I…” his voice trailed off as he shook his head. How did he tell her he wasn’t fleeing because he didn’t have feelings for her, but the direct opposite of that? How did he tell her he wanted nothing more than to kiss her? That being with her was something he dreamt of for years, but not while his body and mind were drowning in tequila? These thoughts flipped through the forefront of his brain as he tried to piece together words he actually wanted to say to her.

“Jay, it’s fine. It’s a new day, we’ve got a pretty pressing case, let’s just focus on that, yeah?” She finally said, using his silence to shut down the conversation completely. He nodded, mentally kicking himself for his inability to put his thoughts into words.

When they arrived at the facility, they interviewed a few of the techs who were present at the time of the robberies. The men came in with rifles, threatening them to open cold storage containers before taking several experimental treatment vials and loading them into transport coolers. They then locked the techs in one of the backrooms before making their exits. The agents asked if there were any other facilities nearby that could be potential targets. The individuals named two companies nearby that would have similar facilities that possibly housed the same vials targeted by the offenders.

Jay and Hailey arrived at the first location, flashing their badges to the front desk worker and asking to be let up to the floor with cold storage. The man refused, insisting the pair must have the wrong place. Jay noticed blood on the collar of the man’s shirt, as well as a rip where a nametag should have been. Something didn’t feel right to him, and he looked over at Hailey to see if she had noticed it too. Her eyes confirmed this, and she pulled out her phone, checking the screen before looking up at Jay.

“Hey, boss got the address wrong. Sorry for the trouble,” she said. Jay nodded and they turned to make their way to the exit. His heart rate picked up as they turned their back to the man. They were vulnerable in that position, and they had no tactical advantage if their hunch was correct. A few steps from the door, Jay heard a click of metal from behind them. It was faint, but before he could even react, a gunshot was going off and Hailey was shoving him behind a large cement pillar to their right.

“Jay, get down!” She yelled as their bodies slammed against the ground and bullets rained down around them.

“You good?” she asked, hovered over him as she drew her weapon.

“Yeah, yeah, good,” he confirmed, trying to catch his breath and reaching for his own weapon.

Hailey called for backup as Jay drew cover fire from around the pillar. He retreated to reload as the two of them stood shoulder to shoulder behind the cover of the barrier.

“On three, cover me, I’m going to make my way to the other side so I can get a better shot,” Jay said to her. She nodded nervously as he started the count down.

He got to the number three, and she began firing at the man, drawing enough cover for Jay to successfully make it to the other side of the lobby with a much clearer shot. Jay got the man in his sights, adjusting slightly for the distance, and fired 3 rounds. Silence filled the lobby as the man fell to the floor with a thud.

“You good?” He called out to Hailey. There was a brief pause.

“Good,” she replied, sending a shock of relief through Jay’s entire body.

The next thing they knew, Walker and Daisy were bursting through the front doors with tact guys behind them.

“You two good?” Daisy called out as her eyes surveyed the room for the two partners.

“Yeah, all good,” Hailey replied as she and Jay made their way to their fellow agents.

“Nothing like a shower of bullets to knock the hangover out of you, am I right?” Walker teased as Hailey and Jay sent him a shared snarl.

Daisy knocked the man in the head jokingly as she handed Hailey and Jay a vest to put on before they made their way up to the higher floors to take down the rest of the offenders. As they secured their vests, Jay’s eyes remained on Hailey, reassuring himself that she was okay after being uncertain just a few minutes prior. Before they headed up the stairs with the rest of the team, he stopped her and pulled her to the side.

“Thank you… for pushing me out of the way back there. Pretty sure you saved my life,” he told her sincerely, as his hand found its way to her arm just below her shoulder. She smiled down at the floor before shaking her head lightly.

“It’s what partners do,” she nodded, bringing a hand to rest over his briefly before walking past him towards the stairs.

With that came a flood of relief. The avoidance, the tension, it all disappeared for a split second with her touch, and he felt like he was finally able to breathe for the first time that day. Despite what happened the night before, they were able to prove that no matter what, they were good together. He knew they still needed to talk. Whether that was just airing out what almost happened the night before or fully putting their feelings out on the table, he wasn’t sure. He was sure, however, that their partnership was unbreakable and no matter what happened, they were always going to be okay.

They followed the team up the stairs to take down the rest of the robbery crew. A shootout and multiple arrests later, they were on their way back to headquarters. On the drive there, it was mostly silent. From the corner of his eye, Jay saw Hailey release her hair from the tight ponytail it was in, shaking her curls loose as they fell to the sides of her head. He looked over briefly before bringing his eyes back to the road. It reminded him of earlier when Walker called her Blondie, and curiosity got the best of him.

“You know, earlier Walker called you Blondie,” he said with a quizzical tone. “I’m surprised he got away with it. If Adam would have ever called you that, he would’ve lost an arm or something,” he half-joked. She stifled a smile and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, we were at a bar the other night. I was a few drinks deep, and I may have gotten a little too enthusiastic when the band covered Heart of Glass. That and more obvious reasons led to the nickname. I’m not very fond of it, but the more I protest, the more I know he’ll want to use it so… non-reaction is the name of the game,” she told him with a shy smile. He raised his brows with a teasing smile that quickly fell at the thought of the two of them alone at a bar.

“You two, uh, you go out a lot, yeah?” He questioned, despite already feeling certain of her answer.

“A few times, yeah. He’s a good drinking partner when all you want to do is forget about the day and have a little fun. You should come with us sometime, he’ll challenge you to a game of darts and I’d love to see you kick his ass,” she told him with a large smirk.

“Yeah, maybe,” he responded.

The thought of destroying Walker in a game of darts sounded appealing, but he knew he’d never take her up on the offer if he could help it. He could barely take Walker’s flirty looks and comments for Hailey at work, let alone while tipsy in a crowded bar. He knew those feelings weren’t reciprocated from her end, but it was something Jay couldn’t stand to be around regardless.

Once back at headquarters, Jay and Hailey spent hours in interrogation with the men, trying to figure out why they were after the vials and how they knew about them in the first place. By the end of it all, they were able to find out that the leader of the crew had a sick wife. One of her doctors had mentioned an experimental drug treatment that was in the works, but it hadn’t yet hit the market and was only open for trials. His wife was denied entry into the trial, and the more her condition progressed, the more desperate he became. In a support group, he met a man who had recently gotten out of prison with connections to a former robbery crew. Being that they all had loved ones that could benefit from the treatment, the plans for the heists arose.

“I just wanted to save my wife. And those guys? They wanted to save their loved ones too,” the leader revealed to Jay and Hailey in the interrogation room.

“I get that, man. You just went about it the wrong way, and now your wife is going to lose not just the treatment but her husband too,” Jay said before rising from his chair and gathering the file from the table. Hailey was mostly quiet during the final portion of the interrogation, and she silently followed as Jay made his way out of the room.

“This sucks,” she said aloud as soon as the door to the room was closed. Jay questioned her silently, waiting for her to elaborate.

“It’s just… he was doing what he thought he had to do to save his wife, and now he’s probably going to lose her and everything else because of it,” she said in a defeated tone.

“Yeah, but Hailey he broke the law. He tried to cheat the system for his own benefit and hurt innocent people in the process,” he said, a stern look on his face.

“I know, I know, it’s just… Isn’t there some part of you that would want to do the same thing if you were in his position? If it were someone you loved?” she asked him, her eyes looking up at him, melting him in all of the ways only her eyes could.

The question opened something in him. He’d like to think he was strong enough in his morals to have made the right decision in the same situation, but then he thought about his mother. If there were a treatment that could have saved her, he probably would’ve gone to every measure necessary to ensure she got it. Then he thought about the woman before him. If Hailey were the one that needed that treatment, what would he do? He swallowed hard before nodding slowly as he bit the inside of his cheek. She had a point. He looked down at her, her eyes peering up into his, and that urge to tell her how he felt was back. Except, this time it wasn’t driven by a buzz and lowered inhibitions. It was driven by a deep feeling in his chest that seemed to pull his heart to hers. A feeling clearer than anything else in his life.

“Hailey, I think we-“ he began before a deep voice interrupted from behind him.

“Hey, you two! I know you went a little too hard last night, but how about we make it a streak and carry the party on to tonight? Huh? Beers, a game of darts, maybe some billiards?” Walker questioned as he threw an arm around the two of them.

“Uh,” Hailey let out as her gaze remained on Jay with with a look he was guessing to be curiosity surrounding his interrupted sentence.

“What do you say?” Walker asked, turning his head between the two of them as he waited for a response.

“Only if you let me choose the bar this time, that last one reeked of cigarettes. I was sure I got lung cancer just from opening the door,” Hailey finally said with a laugh.

Jay’s mood deflated quickly, and he wriggled out from the man’s hold.

“Uh as much fun as that sounds, I actually have plans tonight,” he lied. Hailey sent him a questioning look as Walker shrugged his shoulders.

“Just the two of us once again, Blondie,” Walker said with a wink that created a sick feeling in Jay’s stomach.

Every time Jay thought he was ready to tell her how he felt, something seemed to stand in the way and discourage him immediately. He was beginning to question whether or not it was worth it. Wondering if all of the roadblocks were just signs from the universe that they were better off as partners. He watched as she walked back to her desk and grabbed her coat, turning to look back at him briefly. It was a lingering look, a glimmer in her eyes he knew all too well. Then, Walker interrupted her to ask if she was ready to go, and the look was gone instantly. Yet, that one look was enough to send every bit of doubt he had right out of his head. As hard as he tried to fight it, he was in love with her. He wasn’t sure when or where, but someday soon he wasn’t going to be able to hold it in. One way or another, he knew they were meant to be together, and in that moment that was enough hope to make him smile through the ache of watching her walk away without him.

#upstead #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #jay halstead #hailey upton #chicago pd #upstead fic #justmypartner fics #collection of Em’s fics

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yelena-bellova · 4 years

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Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Three

Chapter Three: Midnight Flight

Series Masterlist

Plot: Reader can’t sleep after the day she had, she finds her way to the hanger where she finds Poe. He decides to take her mind off of things.

Warnings: Literally two suggestive lines, a healthy dose of angst in the beginning and a whole lot of fluff.

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: This one took a while, I’m trying to build the Reeader and Poe’s relationship with only so much time to do it. I semi hate what I wrote and I also semi like it, life of a writer lol. We’re going to jump into TFA in the next chapter so this is the last chill chapter for a while, enjoy!

——————-

Leia and Han fell in love with y/n the moment they met her. They decided to raise her as their own, no one was more ecstatic about the decision than Ben. He’d been asking his parents about a sibling for a while. He doted on y/n and stayed by her side constantly trying to help her adjust to her new life.

Y/n adjusted quickly, she became just as attached to Ben and the two became inseparable. She loved Han and Leia, though she didn’t start addressing them as ‘mom’ nd ‘dad’ until about a year after Ben found her. She still had memories of her birth parents, though very few, and she struggled with shifting those roles to other people. One random night as Leia and Han said goodnight to their children, she said it without even thinking,

“Goodnight, Mom. Goodnight, Dad.”

Once they were out of the room, Han and Leia blinked, looked at each other and headed to bed.

Ben and Y/n were each other’s best friend all throughout childhood. They became even closer once they both realized Y/n could use the Force. When they’d discovered it, it was a typical day on the Falcon. They were on Coruscant so Leia could attend a Senate hearing and Han was outside with Chewie doing minor repairs. Y/n and Ben had gotten into a fight (they may have been best friends, but they were still siblings) and at one point, Ben used the Force on Y/n to shove her into a wall. He’d never used his abilities on her like that, she’d felt anger towards her brother before but this was pure rage. As if she’d done it all her life, she threw her hand out towards Ben and he went backwards straight into the cockpit and fell onto the dashboard. Unfortunately, he fell on the button that powered up the ship and it roared to life. The siblings looked at each other in horror, partially at what Y/n had just done and partially at what their father was going to do to them. Ben slammed his hand down on the button and powered the ship down quickly as he heard Han and Chewie coming inside.

“What the hell are you two doing in here?!” Han yelled through the ship as he approached the cockpit.

“How many times have I told you to NEVER touch ANYTHING in this room unless I say so?” Han asked with a raised tone, Chewie roaring in support behind him. “Well?”

Y/n opened her mouth to speak and beg for her father’s forgiveness, when she was cut off by her brother.

“We were running around and I slipped and hit the button. I promise it was an accident, Dad, I’m really sorry.” Ben explained, Han looking over at him before turning to Y/n.

“But I was the one that was chasing him, so it’s really my fault.” Y/n interjected, “I’m sorry, Dad, we should have been more careful.”

Han ran a hand through his hair and grumbled something. “Alright, alright. I’ll let your mother deal with the two of you when she gets back. Now Chewie and I are gonna finish up out there,” he pointed a finger at them both, “No more running.” With that, Chewie and him left.

Y/n wrapped her arms around him and cried into his shirt, “I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry. I swear I didn’t mean to do that!”

“Y/n, I’m not even mad anymore. How long have you known you could use the Force?” Ben asked as he pulled her away so he could see her face.

She sniffled, “I didn’t! I swear I never knew about it, I would have told you if I’d known!”

Ben let out an astonished laugh, “This is so cool! Mom’s gonna be ao excited when you show her! Dad probably won’t like it but-“  ”Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ben.” Y/n took a step back and dried her eyes, “They can’t ever know about this. EVER.”  ”Why would you not tell them?”

Y/n motioned to the dashboard, “Do you not remember what just happened? I hurt you! I’m not ever doing that again.”

Ben rolled his eyes, “Okay, yeah, and I’ll get you back for it at some point but Y/n, you can’t just keep this to yourself.”  ”Yes, I can and yes, I am. Ben,” Y/n walked towards him and held his hand, “The feeling that went through me when I pushed you, it was...scary. I felt like I didn’t have control and that’s how you ended up hurt. I don’t want to risk hurting you or anybody else.”

Ben sighed and pulled her into his arms, he didn’t agree with her at all but he couldn’t force her into using her abilities. He also didn’t understand what it was like to discover that power. He’d grown up using the Force, it was second nature to him.

Y/n pulled back after a moment, “Promise me this stays between us. Mom and Dad can’t ever find out UNLESS I decide to tell them.”

Ben nodded sadly, “I promise.”  ”I’m serious, nothing to anyone. And that includes Uncle Chewie.”  He scoffed, “Y/n, I would never betray you. I promise.”

—————-

I couldn’t sleep.

I’d hidden in my room all day, too shaken to do anything else after my training session. I’d skipped dinner, I’d ignored knocks at my door, I’d shut everyone and everything out. Come 10 o’ clock, I changed into pajamas and climbed into bed ready to put an end to the day.

Ha. Right.

I tossed and turned for two hours before I gave up and threw the covers off. I was tired, but clearly not enough to sleep. I went to my desk, grabbed the robe that hung off the chair and tied it around my body. I opened my door and left my room, pressing the lock on the datapad and watching the door close.

It was late so there were hardly any people moving through the residential part of the base. There was one pilot coming back from a mission, a tech worker who’d clearly been working all evening...

The general’s daughter who was wandering around base in her pajamas thinking about the lightsaber sitting in her room.

There were reasons for my conflicting feelings towards using the Force. The first time I’d ever used it was out of anger to hurt someone I loved. That was reason enough to be worried about it happening again one day. But over the years of secret training sessions, I’d gained better control of my emotions. I’d grown up seeing my Force-sensitive mother use it only for good, but I’d also witnessed the dark side of it in it’s purest form.

And I’d witnessed it in the person I loved the most in the galaxy.

At the thought of my brother, I leaned my head against the nearest wall and stopped walking. It didn’t matter how many years it had been, losing him still felt like a fresh wound. Maybe the wound had never closed because I was fighting a war and it wasn’t with him at my side. The rest of the galaxy saw the war as the Resistance vs. the First Order, but for me it was brother vs. sister in a fight they never should have been in.

I pushed off the wall and continued down the hallway, passing the empty cafeteria and a few offices. Reading the names of my peers on the plaques next to their doors, I felt envious. All these people knew who they were and exactly what they were doing their lives. I was Leia’s daughter, I was expected to know exactly what I was doing at all times when privately, I was a complete mess. I was fighting a war against my brother, my family had been torn apart, and there was a lightsaber sitting in my room that I simultaneously loved and hated. I wanted so badly to be as stable and steady as my fellow commamnders, the people that answered to me deserved that from me. I wanted to do my part in this war and make sure the First Order’s reign of terror across the galaxy ended.

I just wished things weren’t so complicated.

Somehow, I’d ended up on the opposite end of base outside the hanger. It made sense that my feet naturally carried me there, it’s where I spent most of my free time. Whether it was bringing Jess lunch when she was too busy to leave, watching potential recruits run test flights or helping Poe with repairs on his ship...

Speak of the devil, there he was doing just that. Only the bottom half of his body was visible as his top half was buried in the cockpit of his X-Wing. Intrigued as to his reason for not being in the cantina drinking his squad under the table, I made my way over to him.

“Someone looks surprisingly sober.”

His head popped up at the sound of my voice, turning on the ladder he was standing on to face me,

“The parts came in to fix the guidance system,” he said, wiping his hands on a dirty rag, “Shots with Snap and Jess can wait.”

I hummed in acknowledgement and came to stand below his ladder. Poe turned back around and continued working, “Why are you up so late?”  I put a hand on the ladder, “Can’t sleep, my brain and I aren’t getting along.”  Poe chuckled, “How so?”  ”Well, I wanted to sleep but my head thinks that I should evaluate every regret, problem and emotional trauma I’ve ever had.”

He stood to his full height and took a few steps down the ladder, “Well, forget the cantina, you’re having all the fun tonight.”

I laughed and pressed my forehead against the ladder, Poe took a seat on a step so we were face to face. He was dressed in his orange jumpsuit, but it was tied at his waist, and a tight grey tee shirt. He looked surprisingly awake for the time, whereas I looked like a Corellian freighter had hit me.

“You wanna talk about it?”

I shook my head gently against the cool steel of the ladder. Poe was no stranger to my family history, I’d talked to him before about my brother but I could only say so much. Poe naturally looked at Kylo Ren as pure evil, I saw my brother who’d been misled and manipulated by a dark force.

He sighed, “Well, how about we take your mind off of all these deep dark secrets you’re keeping from me?”  I had to stop mself from laughing, if only he knew...

“What’re you thinking, Dameron?”  Mischief came over his face immediately, he gestured up to the massive ship we were standing below. I connected the dots, quickly realizing his ingenious idea,

“No,” I said firmly, causing Poe to smile.

“Yes.” He replied.

“You already almost killed me once today and I’m pretty sure I said I was never flying with you again.”  Poe started zipping up his flight suit, “Yeah, and you’ve said that a hundred times yet you always get back in a ship with me.”

He had me there, Poe was reckless and impulsive yet for some reason, I still trusted him with my life.

He was already climbing the ladder and awaiting my reply expectantly. I looked to him, rolled my eyes and followed him up. Once I was at the top, he was already seated and I realized where I’d be sitting,

“How the hell are you going to fly safely with me sitting on your lap?” 

A coy smile appeared on his face, “Guess you’ll have to find out.”  Rolling my eyes, I awkwardly stepped in between Poe’s legs and looked behind to see where I was going to land. Why did this feel like it was crossing some sort of line in our friendship? One part of my mind was protesting and the other part was practically shoving my body down happily. Splitting the difference, I cautiously sunk down onto my friend’s lap. Poe placed his hands on my hips without warning to situate the both of us. The warmth of his touch sept through my thin robe and pajamas, simultaneously making me nervous and at ease.

Poe flipped a switch that turned on his beloved ship, I leaned back to look at him. He looked like he did earlier in the day; happy, content, relaxed.

“Ready?”

I smiled softly, “Let’s fly, Dameron.”

Without me realizing, he’d grabbed hold of the controls and lifted us up in the air. I’d flown all my life, but never in an X-Wing, and it moved much differently than the ships I’d piloted. Poe guided us out of the hanger and before I knew it, we were flying above D’Qar’s lush landscapes.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”  “We’re not going anywhere, just for a fly.” Poe replied as he made a slow left turn to get us further from base. “I’m also going to teach you how to fly an X-Wing.”

“Seriously?” I asked with a little too much excitement in my voice.

He smiled at my eagerness, “Well, you’re gonna learn how to steer at least. Okay, the joystick’s pretty sensitive so you’ve got to be careful. And make sure not to press any of the buttons, especally the red one or we’re going to eject right out of the ship.”

I blew out a breath, “Right, no pressure.”

“Pfft, if you’ve flown the Millenium Falcon, you can handle this.”

“I never said I flew it, you just seemed to assume that I had.” I pointed out quickly, turning my head to face him.

“Yeah, and you’ve never once denied it.” Poe said smugly as if he’d trapped me.

“Are we going to argue or are we going to fly?” I asked loudly.

“I’m sure we’ll find a way to do both,” Poe replied, while making a small turn, “Alright, grab the joystick.”  He let go with one hand and I took hold of it, once I had a grip he let go with his other. I was officially flying an X-Wing on my own.

I laughed, “This is so cool!”

Poe seemed to enjoy how enthusiastic I was, “If this is how excited you get just going straight, I can’t imagine what you’ll be like when you do something complex.”

A smirk appeared on my face, “What, you mean like this?”  Without warning, I pulled up on the joystick sending us straight up in the air. Poe let out a yelp and his arms flew to my waist, I maneuvered the stick so we’d do a loop. Once we’d straightened out, I started laughing, partially from adrenaline and partially from Poe’s reaction.

“What the hell, Y/n?!”

“Now you know what it’s like to fly with you!” I replied, stlll laughing. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist still as if he was afraid I was going to do it again. He’d started laughing with me and had his forehead pressed between my shoulder blades. This was another one of those warm, relaxed moments that I wished we could share more often. But somehow tonight felt like...different.

“Alright, daredevil, I’m taking us back to base.” Poe said, reaching around me to take control of the ship. I found myself missing his arms as soon as they were gone from my waist.

Within a few minutes, we were landing in the hanger. Poe pressed the button that extended the ladder to the ground and I climbed down first, him following suit.

“That was pretty fun, I’ll hand it to you.” I said as we leisurely strolled out of the hanger into the halls.

“Glad I could help get your mind off of things,” Poe replied, “And, of course, I just brought up whatever you’re trying to avoid.”

He sounded dejected in his last sentence, ”It’s okay,” I put my hand on his arm, “Tonight was great but my problems were going to be waiting for me as soon as I got back to my room.”

“Then don’t go back to your room tonight.” Poe stated nonchalantly.

“So your solution is me going and snuggling with my mommy?”

He chuckled, “No, you can stay with me.”

There it was, that feeling that I’d gotten several times tonight. When I’d sat down in his lap, praying that he didn’t sense how awkward I felt. When he’d wrapped his arms around me and lingered for a few minutes. What had suddenly changed between us where Poe and I put in more intimate situations and I felt nervous?

I tried not to let the tone of my thoughts come out in my words, “Stay with you?”  “Well, yeah,” Poe said, shrugging his shoulders and stopping in our path, “You need sleep and I know you well enough to know you’re going to stay up all night worrying if you’re alone.”

I let out a small laugh, sometimes I forgot how well he knew me. That’s exactly what was going to happen. With Poe there, I’d be forced to try and get some sleep. Against my better judgement, listening to the part of my mind that loved being wrapped in his arms moments ago, I caved...

“Alright, it’s worth a shot.”

Looking victorious, we continued down the hall making a different turn towards Poe’s quarters. He wasn’t too far from my own, we were both commanders, but I was closer to my mother’s room. We arrived at his door and he entered his code into the datapad, letting me in first.

Poe’s quarters were fairly minimalistic. A few knickknacks he’d picked up during his travels stood on his desk. A picture of him and his father, Kes, was pinned to the wall while one of him and Black Squadron hung next to it. BB-8’s charging station laid in a corner, the lovable droid himself plugged in alraedy and turned off. A few jackets and clothes were strewn on chairs, and his bed that stood close to the door. I’d been here dozens of times, yet this time I felt like I was paying more attention to my surroundings.

“I’m gonna do us both a favor and wash up real quick, go ahead and make yourself comfortable.” Poe said, grabbing some clothes from his dresser amd disappearing into his bathroom.

I sat down on the edge of his bed and put my head in my hands, chuckling at my situation. I could think of a dozen girls on base who would renounce their families to spend a night with the legendary Poe Dameron. Here I was trying to slow my suddenly rapid heartbeat at the thought of sleeping next to him, my best friend. When the hell did this happen? I stood up, untied my robe and hung it off of Poe’s desk chair. Walking back to the bed, I flipped over the covers on one side and crawled under.

After a few minutes, Poe exited the bathroom and I peeked over at him. He’d changed into a pair of grey sweatpants and a black tank top that clung tightly to his torso. His eyes fell on me and he gave a soft smile, as if the sight of me in his bed made him happy. He switched off the light to the room and walked over to his side of the bed. I wasn’t sure how to position myself, standard issue beds were fairly small and we’d definitely be somewhat up against each other. He turned on his side and I did the same,

“Thank you for this...It’s just been a stressful day.” I said quietly, I didn’t have to speak very loud considering our faces were only a few inches apart.

“I get it, or maybe I don’t, we won’t know till you talk to me,” he said, his last words spoken in a singsong tone.

I laughed, “Not tonight, remember? Tonight’s about distracting me.”  Even in the dark, I could see that familiar eyebrow going up, “I can think of several things we haven’t tried yet.”

I hoped the darkness concealed my suddenly red cheeks. Usually I could dish it back out to him without a second thought, but tonight I found myself trying not to let my mind drift to the ideas Poe was alluding to.

“Yeah,” I spoke up, “Like going to sleep.”

 Poe comically rolled his eyes, “Fine, if you want to go the boring route.”

I reached over and placed a hand on his bicep, “Thanks for always being there for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Hey, that goes both ways, sweetheart.” Poe replied, reaching up to gently run his hand up and down my arm. His touch created goosebumps I hoped he wouldn’t feel, but knew he could. For just a second as we looked into each other’s eyes, I thought I saw his flicker to my lips. But it was too quick a movement to confirm.

“C’mere,” he mumbled, opening his arms to me.

My body went into autopilot mode and I moved into his arms before giving it a second thought. I placed one of my hands on his chest and wrapped the other around his torso. I could feel his mother’s ring that hung from his neck under his tank top. One of his hands cradled my head and the other was splayed out on my back, anchoring me to him. This was the most comfortable and at ease I thought I’d ever been in my life. Poe’s skin smelled fresh from the shower, his firm grip on my back was comforting and his body was the type of warmth you could lose yourself in.

Well, if we hadn’t crossed a line already tonight, I was pretty sure we had now...

“Get some sleep, Y/n.” Poe whispered, resting his chin on top of my head. I softly hummed in agreement as I felt myself already beginning to drift off...

————

A/N: Well, that’s all she wrote. Actually, she wrote many scenes that didn’t make it in but whatever...We’re slowly starting to piece together the Reader and Ben’s history, honestly that’s one of my favorite parts to write. Next week, we jump into TFA. In the words of Anakin Skywalker, this is where the fun begins 😏 Hope you enjoy!!

Taglist: @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @springfox04 @constantdisgrace @holybatflapexpert @seninjakitey @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet @leilei-draws @eternal-fandoms

#poe dameron #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader #star wars #poe dameron x solo!reader

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crazy-loca-blog · 4 years

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Personal thoughts on… 2020 releases (Part I)

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week.

So, I did this in 2019 and I had a blast doing it (you can see Part I, Part II, Part III and the Seasonal Books reviews), so I thought about repeating the experience because… why not? Of course, I had planned to post this during the holidays but my job barely let me some free time to eat and sleep. Better later than never, I guess.

In 2019, we read over 30 books and it was the busiest year for Pixelberry in terms of releases so far. During 2020, things changed A LOT. We didn’t have as many releases and the stories seemed to have a new focus, especially the romance ones. We said “goodbye” to the wedding books and welcomed some 30 diamond scenes that were at a whole new level. We also had many hiatuses and some books were so long that it seemed like we spent the whole year reading them.

This will be a three-part post and I will include current releases and books that were released during 2019 but were finished in 2020. The list is organized in alphabetical order, and it doesn’t include the VIP Books (as I’ll talk about them in a fourth post). The only books I will be skipping will be Desire & Decorum: First Winter and Bloodbound: Dark Solstice, as they’re seasonal books that I fully covered in the 2019 review.

America's Most Eligible: Wedding Edition (September 18, 2019 - January 22, 2020): As a person who really enjoyed the first AME book, I already thought it was unnecessary to have a second book. I mean… reality shows are repetitive, so why would we have two books that were exactly the same? Little did I know this series was so popular that we ended up having a third book with a wedding after dating our LI for like two months (because we did need another one last wedding book, right?). There were too many things that didn’t make sense to me. My MC never had a good relationship with Slater, so having him as part of my wedding party was annoying, I would have preferred to have Teagan on my side. Also, despite the fact that we finally got to know Ivy’s background and why she was so evil throughout the series, competing against her (and Vince) all over again was exhausting… I would have definitely preferred a normal wedding diary show or something like that. And last but not least, the fact that Jen was working on the show while being a competitor was so… I don’t think this is actually possible in a real TV show. But the award to the weirdest moment goes to what happened to those people who left their LI’s at the altar and married Bianca or Slater instead. Yeah, because after that super heartbreaking moment, Jen takes the MC, Adam, Derek and Mackenzie to the producer's room to watch some “never seen before” footage about their friendship throughout the series…. because of course… there is nothing weird about seeing your ex there, right after dumping them in the middle of the wedding. This series was good enough to deserve a way more decent ending. Baby Bump, Book 1 (December 9, 2019 - March 16, 2020): My overall impression about this book is “meh”. Even though a lot of people complained about how the pregnancy was shown, I think the writers did a pretty decent job. The experience is different for every woman, so I think that criticizing the focus the writers decided to give to our MC’s experience is just pointless and saying “it’s not realistic” is a little unfair. The same thing applies to the baby. A lot of people complained saying that the baby was “too big”. Guess what guys… that isn’t the actual baby, that’s just the cover of the book… if you buy the “baby basket”, you’ll get the right baby size throughout the story. As a personal opinion, I think the story has some good things (I really like the fact that it shows how hard is for pregnant women to get and to keep a job, even though the fact that the MC hid her pregnancy is very unprofessional, to say the least) but there are some things that make me feel uncomfortable. First of all… our gang. I like the characters as individuals, but when I look at them as a gang, the only thing that Luisa, Myles and Clint have in common is the MC… I don’t know what they’d talk about if they were in a room without her. There is also this very personal POV on dating Myles… I mean… maybe it’s just me, but it is kind of uncomfortable to see Myles dating a pregnant woman who actually got pregnant after a one night stand with the other guy in our gang (or with the only guy in the gang, if your Myles is a female). Baby Bump, Book 2 (November 20, 2020 - present): Well, if you collected every single piece of the blanket in Baby Bump Book 1, you already had little glimpses about this book. Our very pregnant woman not only discovered that she’s having twins, but she also has some new duties at the city hall. And even though there are some things about this book that still don’t convince me, I can see the efforts to make some improvements in the story. The fact that the plot is not only focused on the MC and her pregnancy, but also on Clint’s family issues, Myles’ reelection and the park not only are introducing us to new characters, but they’re also giving us plenty of material to make the story more dynamic and not only focused on one topic. I also like how the writers have been managing Cassandra’s arc of redemption. Despite her being the antagonist in the first book, you can tell she’s grown a lot as a character, to the point that she is willing to help our MC not because of her reputation, but because she genuinely seems to care. I don’t know if I expect a big plot twist coming in the next few chapters (and if it does, I guess it will be related to the MC’s health and the babies delivered earlier than expected) but even if it doesn’t, I can already tell this book is better than the first one. Blades Of Light And Shadow, Book 1 (January 29, 2020 - June 3, 2020): There is no doubt (at least not for me) that this was the best new release of 2020. We had been waiting for a new adventure book for a really long time, and PB delivered. Not only we had this super wide range of MCs to choose from, we had a book where our choices actually mattered. Because yes, you can buy every single diamond scene in this story and still, if you don’t make the right choices at the right moments, you won’t get all the skills at the end of it. And that’s probably what seduces me the most about this book. The characters in our gang are also very well written. Each one of them has a very different personality, they all have these very different backgrounds and burdens, but they still complement each other perfectly when it comes to work as a team. Now if I have to be completely honest about the plot, it took me a while to get into it, but I want to think it’s because I’m not very familiar with this type of stories, because it’s very clear that there aren’t any writing problems in it. However, if I have to criticize one thing, it has to be some people’s reaction: because yes, it seems like some people didn’t get the memo that this wasn’t a romance book and I must admit it disappointed me a little to see that most of the discussions were focused in the romance part instead of talking about the adventure itself. Bloodbound, Book 3 (November 9, 2019 - March 28, 2020): Last year, I already mentioned how happy I was with this book, especially because most of the times, the third book in a series is not as popular as the previous ones. We sometimes have that problem of writers dragging plots because they have nothing new to add and us, the readers, struggling to finish the story (because of course, after reading 2 books, no one gives up on reading the third one). Well, I still think this book is nothing but impressive. As a person who’s not into vampires at all, I can safely say this is the book that I enjoyed the most in the series. Even though I didn’t feel huge changes in our LIs, I loved the evolution of our MC when compared to the first book (her character development itself deserves a whole post) and even though there were some things that seemed predictable, there were some others that were completely unexpected. If I had to change something, I’d say we deserved two endings, the one that we had and a darker one, I think PB truly missed an opportunity there. But overall, I think the story came full circle. This is definitely one of my favorite releases in 2020. Distant Shores (April 3, 2020 - July 17, 2020): This book gives me all the “Nighbound” vibes. That is, it is a good story, it is well written, the plot is attractive and overall it was well received by the fandom; however, that’s not enough for it to get a second book (or in PB’s words, “it’s not as popular and profitable as we think”). I personally enjoyed the story, but I didn’t fall in love with it. My biggest complaint is that I kept constantly waiting for some HUGE plot twist, I did need that “I didn’t see that coming” moment to blow our minds… but that never happened and I ended up feeling that PB wasted a story that could have shown us one adventure after another and turned it into something “plain”. Also, even though we had a badass MC, three awesome LIs and an amazing crew, by the time I pressed the “End book” button, I felt I had more questions than answers… and I absolutely hate it when that happens. We never got a chance to know anything about Robert’s story, his background and how he managed to survive and go back and forth between the past and the present. Or we never knew what made him and our MC so special and why the compass helped them to time travel. I can definitely see the potential for a second (and even a third) book, it’s sad to know it won’t be happening.

#playchoices #choices stories you play #americas most eligible #americas most eligible 3 #americas most eligible 2 #ame #baby bump #baby bump 2 #babu #blades of light and shadow #blades #bolas #BloodBound #bloodbound 3 #Distant Shores

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jeonjeonggukenergy · 5 years

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Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, light smut w/ more to come - college!au

wordcount ~ 1.7k

warnings ~ light smut, drinking/partying, mentions of dick?, basically just making out, feat. long hair jk :)))))

a/n ~ this is my first time posting a fic!!! costume idea inspired by @ddaenggtan‘s iconic weeb-ass jk in chasing butterflies lol, and I got the idea to write this in general from wondering what a scenario like @joonbird‘s literally flawless fic passionfruit would be like from the opposite perspective bc I kept reading it (and rereading it...and rereading it...) and loving the connection but I’m much more like joon in that au than the reader oooop. anyway thank you to all the writers on here whose work i have loved and my friends who have encouraged me and made me bold enough to embrace such a fun new creative outlet xxx u know who u are :’)

next: chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 (coming soon!)

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 1 ~ dress up

You never intended to end up at this Halloween party. You didn't even know who to expect to see here, other than your roommate's friend from high school, the host, who had invited y'all as a package deal even though she knew you didn't really do parties. At least not ones like hers, where every bedroom ended up occupied by the end of the night and nearly no one went home alone. Thrilled to break out of your lame group of friends for a taste of flirtation and fun, you tried to relax into the scene but the unspoken expectation of casual sex intimidated you the tiniest bit.

Speaking of casual sex, there was Jungkook.

Used to admiring him from afar in your "14 Films To See Before You Graduate" class, you paused to take in the sight of him in what you supposed was a more natural habitat. Everyone knew Jungkook got girls, thanks to the rumor his first freshman-year hookup had started about his seriously impressive dick. He had a beautiful body too, carefully crafted muscles obvious even beneath his usual baggy black clothes, so as the more intimate rumors spread and various co-signers confirmed every detail from length to curve to (you had always hated this word, but...) girth, getting a piece of all that became a badge of honor among the girls in your grade. You had never really understood how the awkward boy who hid manga under his desk in class could supposedly be such a sex symbol, but you almost felt bad for him. That kind of reputation following you around everywhere couldn't be all fun and games. If anything, though, it had intrigued you even more about the rest of him, all his little weeb quirks and the way he debated your points in the discussion boards like he actually cared. He wasn't exactly studious in general, but he clearly loved film and you enjoyed speaking up in class just to see how he would jump off of your observations. You hadn't really talked to him other than that, but he didn't seem to be talking to anyone else tonight either. From the corner, you let yourself appreciate the way his nervous hands tugged at the skinny black tie of his costume, freeing more of his throat from a thin yellow button-down shirt.

At least you no longer felt overdressed in your Nancy Drew outfit. The retro headband, brown loafers, and bookish plaid knee-length skirt set a much more sophisticated tone than most other ensembles you'd seen, but Jungkook's weeb ass had basically worn a full suit to channel Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop. With his grown-out hair tousled and a navy pinstripe jacket cinched tight with two strips of electrical tape over his tiny waist, you couldn't deny that he rocked it. He leaned against a long plastic table left in the hallway, bobbing his head to the music in the next room and adjusting the too-slim suit pants around his thick thighs. His translucent cup stayed hidden behind a hip until he raised it quickly to his face for another sip of...red wine? Probably Franzia, knowing tonight's crowd, but anything was better than beer. You made a beeline for the one boy with taste at this party, your sole mission now to get wine drunk, sneak some Usher throwbacks on this playlist, and drop it low enough to leave some dude hard on the dance floor. #wastehistime2019, yknow.

"Hey!" You got his attention, grabbing the hand with the cup before he could lower it out of view again. His eyes grew comically wide and his mouth formed an "o" in shock before you demanded "Where is the wine?" and he pressed his lips back into a line, stuttering.

"I-I-I'm sorry, I just brought a bottle because the beer here sucks but I think it's all gone by now, I tried to hide it but yeah anyway you can have the rest of this one if you want though." Wincing at his own ramble, he ruffled the retro pouf of his hair with one hand and proffered the plastic cup in another. Both actions highlighted how pretty his hands were and you were just slightly tipsy enough to thread your fingers over his in the also-pretty black waves falling over his yep-still-just-as-pretty cheekbones.

"Aw, it's okay, I don't want to take your wine. No more liquid courage for me," you grinned, dotting the lightest kiss on his nose. It was an innocent gesture, but as your face naturally lowered so your noses touched, leaving your lips centimeters away from each other, something snapped—in him.

His wine discarded on the table, a hand curled around to clutch your ass and you practically felt his tongue before you felt his lips. Slamming your body abruptly into his, he nudged a thigh between your legs to grind it up on your center and as your arm got caught between your bodies, the tension you sensed filling his frame gave you pause. You pushed him away gently but firmly with the hand already flattened against his rock-solid abs. Looking down at the slight space restored between y'all, you removed his hands from his hair and your ass and laced them in yours to guide him back against the wall.

"I...what was that?" you almost giggled. You definitely weren't trying to laugh at him, but you couldn't hide your surprise at this first potential proof of his fuckboy reputation.

"I'm—" his whole face crumpled, both from the simple sting of your seeming rejection and the possibility that he had broken a boundary or forced himself on you against your wishes, which made him so sick he could barely face you. Squirming under your light hold but not quite resisting, he rambled again: "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to force myself on you or anything, don't worry I would never try anything if you didn't want to, I just figured we might as well get to the point if you did because, uh...when girls touch me like that or even talk to me at these things it's pretty much always just because they...want to."

"Jungkook," you breathed, pulsing your hands over his in reassurance. He squeezed his eyes shut, still distraught, and when they opened, you had craned your neck to meet his averted gaze.

"I never said I didn't want to."

His eyes widened again. "Uh...uh...then..." he trailed off, never having needed to directly proposition a girl like this before. He really had been inexperienced before the rapid escalation of college, and was at a loss for how to get to the good stuff from here via anything more eloquent than a rushed "Wanna fuck?" You shook your head silently, nose grazing his again, and let go of one hand to cup his face with care, like he was something precious you were scared of breaking.

"What? You want to get right to fucking me?" you murmured into his ear. He shivered at hearing you curse for the first time, freed from the constraints of class discussions and closer than he ever guessed you'd get to him. "Is that really what you want? Or is it what you think I do? Because if it's alright, I think I want something better. For you."

You pressed a new kiss to his nose, only slightly stronger than the one that had started all this. He held his breath and his untouched, open mouth trembled as you scattered soft introductions of your lips across his forehead, to his temples, over the scar that sliced his cheekbone. Finally inhaling a skittery heave of your shared air as you passed closer to his lips, he forced it back out in frustration when you ducked away to nudge under his jaw instead. Returning your hand to his hair, you grinned, enjoying the spike in his pulse under your thumb and skipping the tip of your tongue lightly over his neck right up to the earlobe. You lifted the choppy ends of his waves away from the dangly silver hoop they hid, tensing the strands just slightly between your fingers in an inability to hide your glee. Something told you this was going to drive him crazy.

Taking a slight detour to suck his pierced lobe between your lips, you responded to Jungkook’s low moan of surprise by wedging your tongue through the first oversized hole and letting your teeth clatter over multiple rings of metal. He was trying so hard to stay pliant under you, but the tease of slight pain in a new and unusual spot made him want your mouth more, anywhere he could get it. No one had ever spent this much time tracing so few inches of skin.

And so many girls had buried his face in their necks, craving evidence of an encounter with the Jeon Jungkook, that a strange kind of empathy caught him off guard when you showed him how good it could feel to receive. You connected your lips to the hollow right under his ear, feeling the tendons stretch as his head lolled away from you. Working him through a cascade of light gasps, you stepped away satisfied once you had sucked a dark bloom to the surface. He watched you leave with his mouth agape and chest heaving, unable to believe you could just walk away with a wave and a "See you in class!"

But you did, and he would.

"Shit!" he swore, a shaky hand darting straight to the spot. Now he had to keep his hair long for at least another two or three days. If he showed up to discussion on Monday and had to watch you admiring your work on his skin, he would probably just die on the spot. And that would not be very Spike Spiegel of him.

next chapter

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader smut #bts smut #bts fic #college!jungkook #college au!jungkook #bts college au #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #my writing #anti-hero #anti hero

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natsubeatsrock · 4 years

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Why I Don't Forgive Mashima over Graytear

Does that title seem hyperbolic?

I mean, Mashima’s done some crazy things within the series, especially with ships. But to not forgive him over one? Especially Graytear? This sounds like the kind of thing I’d make fun of if you switch “Graytear“ with “Nalu“.

And yet, here we are. On Thanksgiving of all days of the year.

Somehow, I’ve managed to avoid not shipping something that doesn’t end up becoming canon in most stories I get into. About the only one I can think of where a ship I’m really gunning for doesn’t happen is Fairy Tail. But I’d like to think I’ve been handling the ship discourse fairly well over the past few years. I don’t think that seeing a ship I don’t like happen is enough to create this response in me.

In fact, this post isn’t about romance. It’s not about how Mashima missed on obvious moments to make two characters I like fall in love and have kids. In a word, it’s about disappointment. Namely, my overwhelming disappointment regarding the canon handling of Gray and Ultear’s relationship.

Before I go further, it's worth mentioning two things.

First, this isn't a strictly analytical post. I'm not entirely sure how much of what I say in this post is tinged by my own disappointment with how what happened in canon played out. None of this is to say that Mashima is a bad writer for doing this, even as I obviously disagree with how he did this. Though I'd like to believe that I'm not the only one who feels the way I do about how Graytear played out in canon, similar to the views I share in many of my other posts.

Second, this post doesn't necessarily take the perspective that Gray and Ultear should have been a romantic couple. Full disclosure, Graytear is my favorite romantic ship for both Gray and Ultear. However, I'm not making the argument that Graytear should have happened in a romantic sense in this post. (That might be another rant for another day.) For now, I'm taking the perspective that their relationship should have been furthered beyond what we got in canon.

Part I: The Unfulfilled Promise of a Bright Future

All ships that don't happen represent missed opportunities. That's not always a bad thing. (No one's arguing Mashima gypped us out of the opportunity for a pedophilic ship by not making Mest and Wendy a thing.) However, it's often disappointing to see that there could have been a great ship idea that wasn't capitalized on by a writer. It's one of the big reasons fanfiction is fun to read and write. (Still feels weird to consider myself a fanfic writer.)

While I don't have too many examples of this for my own ships outside of Fairy Tail, the big one I look to is Zutara not happening in Avatar: The Last Airbender. I'm not personally big on the shipping discourse of the ATLA world, but living with someone who is a big Zutara shipper means I've seen and heard a lot of arguments that make it hard for me to say that there was nothing to the ship. For better or worse, Zutara does represent a lost opportunity for a ship involving one of the most peculiar (I mean this in a good way) relationship dynamics in the series.

Graytear represents a few lost opportunities. The big one involves the obvious connection between each of them and Ur. Gray's life was changed for the better because Ur sacrificed herself for him. Ultear's life, up to their meeting in Tenrou Island, was made worse when Ur gave her up, ironically to save her life. While Gray grew to have a positive view of Ur, Ultear came to have a negative view of her.

Weirdly enough, that doesn't mean they didn't want Ur back in their life. Part of the reason Gray goes to Fairy Tail is to find wizards that would be able to deal with Iced Shell. Ultear's reasoning behind learning Arc of Time is so she would be able to find a time where she could be with her mother. Despite their different views on Ur, they both wanted something similar - a world where they can live with Ur again.

Of course, it's worth mentioning that we know that Gray has a more complete perspective on Ur. Ultear didn't know why Ur gave her up in the first place, took on Gray and Lyon as disciples, or never came back for her. Ultear thought these things happened because Ur didn't want her anymore. In reality, they happened despite Ur wanting and loving Ultear.

During her fight with Gray, she learns that she had the wrong idea about Ur. She gave her up to deal with the balance of magic inside of her. She didn't come back for her because she was told that she died. And, despite having Lyon and Gray as pupils, she still loved her daughter, even though she thought she was dead.

In chapter 43, there's a flashback to a conversation between Lyon and Ur. Lyon questions if he was supposed to replace Ultear. Ur rejects the notion saying that he was never supposed to be a replacement for her. Pity this likely happened before Ur took on Gray and neither of them knew of this moment. However, they both know enough after their fight to come to that conclusion.

During Gray and Ultear’s fight there’s a really cool call back to Gray and Ur’s relationship. When Ur goes to cast Iced Shell, her last words to Gray are words that many Graytear fans may be familiar with: “I will seal your darkness away!“ In its context, Ur is speaking about sealing away Deliora and ending his worries about the beast. Of course, as we all know, that wasn’t a complete sealing and Gray’s arc involves him dealing with this trauma for basically the rest of the series.

But, when Gray is fighting Ultear, he makes the same promise to her. He says that he will seal he darkness away. By this point, we know that Ultear doesn’t have the best view of Ur. However, his hope is to get her to see her mother in a new light. And, by the end of their fight, she realizes her errors and comes to have a newfound appreciation of her mother.

What this could have led into would be the start of a relationship similar to Gray's relationship with Lyon. They're not going to meet each other every arc and I doubt Ultear ever would have joined Fairy Tail. But Gray and Ultear would have much more positive interactions now because they've dealt with much of their Ur baggage. Maybe they could have come have a better, deeper relationship.

Two things happened by the end of the arc that made sure this wasn't going to be the case right away.

The first is Ultear almost killing herself. Of course, Meredy stops her from going through with it. However, she fully intended to make up for her terrible actions regarding Meredy by dying. This wasn't the best sign of Ultear potentially trying to live on and change her ways. But, we'll get to that soon enough.

The second is the seven-year time skip. Gray stayed on the island and missed out on what happened with the world during the seven years. This wasn't particularly in their control and it's not as if their relationship was the only one affected by the time skip. However, it cut a lot of the potential for the relationship to further on, especially considering that, with the formation of Crime Sorciere, their possibilities to interact greatly diminished as Ultear is now actively avoiding being captured.

These things don't necessarily mean that Graytear wasn't going to go anywhere. Up to that point in the series, similar things could have been said about Jerza and they've ended up in a decent enough spot. Of course, that was dependent on Mashima's handling of their relationship during the Grand Magic Games. However you feel about the ship, it's undeniable that this arc set up their relationship dynamic for the rest of the series. Mashima used later arcs to further their relationship, but it’s been built off what happened during the Grand Magic Games arc.

As for Graytear, well...

Part II: The Grand Magic Games Arc Didn't Further Their Relationship

I don't need to say that the Grand Magic Games wasn't as kind to Graytear, as I'm sure anyone who is a fan of Fairy Tail could probably guess that. However, it's worth talking about things other than the one thing we're all thinking about. (Might as well save the best for last.)

Gray and Ultear hardly interact in this arc. Crime Sorciere and the training group Gray is with meet in chapter 263. They go their separate ways in the next chapter. They hardly talk to each other, much less do we see development in their relationship.

I'm not expecting Gray to propose to Ultear. I'd like them to have one interaction at this point in the series that shows something that can positively change in their relationship. Jellal and Erza have half of a chapter to themselves and Juvia and Meredy have their moments with each other.

When Gray mentions Ultear and Meredy potentially being their enemies, she gives an interesting response. She says that she's incapable of making up for the things that she's done throughout her life. In forming Crime Sorciere, she's trying to make up for that by helping as many people as she can.

That sounds positive, right? Ultear recognizes that she’s done bad things in the past and is trying to make up for it now. However, it doesn't seem that Ultear has fully gotten past that old mentality that death is the only way to seek redemption. It doesn’t seem as though she fully believes that she’s a better person because of what she’s been doing.

In essence, her darkness hasn’t been fully sealed away.

And when she leaves with the rest of Crime Sorciere, she tells Erza to take care of Gray. Now, there are a few different ways to read this, depending on how you feel about the various relationships in Fairy Tail. However, it's hard to read this as Ultear expecting to see Gray many more times past that moment.

In fact, they'll only meet two more times past that moment.

For the rest of the series.

To be perfectly clear, this is because of the events of the Last Ages. (And, don’t worry, we’re almost there.) However, Gray and Ultear only interact a total of three times after the Tenrou arc. And one of them is only their technical meeting later in Sun Village. Depending on how you see it, that doesn't count. That Mashima didn't do much else before Last Ages shouldn't distract from the fact that he didn't do much before it happened.

The only other canon interaction between Gray and Ultear past that point in the series is their final meeting at the end of the Grand Magic Games. This barely counts as an interaction as is. Gray recognizes what happened to Ultear and is encouraged not to do anything because of it. I plan on talking about the meaning behind this soon, but consider that, for many people, this will be the last interaction between Gray and his master's daughter. Including their meeting at the beginning of the arc and their two different interactions on Tenrou Island, they only meet each other four times across the entire series.

It's not even as if we don't see Ultear after she cast the Last Ages spell. As I'll get to, she shows up in different forms to a few different people. However, Gray will never see or interact with Ultear past Sun Village and will never see her in person after the Grand Magic Games. No one talks about seeing her again to Gray and he doesn't get the explanation others received regarding her existence. (Though, to be fair, his moment happened shortly after her situation started.)

Well, it looks like we're already there, so let's talk about...

Part III: Last Ages - A Spell Made to Piss Me, Specifically, Off

Yes, I'm devoting an entire section in this post to the spell, Last Ages.

Considering most of the discussion about Last Ages as a spell is positive (up until it’s shown to not actually kill Ultear), I kind of have to.

This moment is held up by many to be an important inspiring moment for Ultear. This is the moment where she's truly able to come to terms with herself. She finds that her life is only worth enough to turn time back by one minute. But, by a twist of dramatic irony, that one minute was enough to save many different lives from death. Most importantly, her sacrifice was able to save the life of Gray after he was attacked by the mini dragons.

Okay, where do I start?

Ultear didn't need to sacrifice herself to stop the Eclipse dragons. Obviously, saving Gray's life, in addition to several other characters, is important and invaluable to how the series could go on from that point. But their lives were not relevant to the success of the Eclipse battle. Natsu’s was and his actions weren't affected by the Last Ages spell. If you think that’s hyperobole, consider that in the anime version of “Sin and Sacrifice”, their fight is quite literally the only thing that happens exactly the same before Last Ages take effect and after it.

I’d like to run a bit of a thought experiment. Imagine if Ultear did nothing. We can deal with the potential ramifications of Gray and so many other characters potentially dying as they come up or change that so they were always going to survive. But as far as getting rid of the Eclipse Dragons and Future Rogue? Natsu would still fight Shadow Rogue, break the Eclipse Gate with his bones, and the future visitors would all disappear anyway.

In fact, that version of events fits the same set of logic that using Last Ages requires of Ultear. Ultear feels that she's irreparably bad because her go-to idea to kill present-day Rogue proves that she can't truly reform. And after going through with the Last Ages spell, she initially believes her efforts to be worthless. If she were to find out that Future Rogue and the Eclipse dragons were defeated without killing present Rogue, that would put her in a position to realize she still has a ways to go before she can change her way of thinking. However, as the person who saved Natsu, she'd ultimately have a positive stake in how the events transpired. In essence, by saving one person, she was able to save everyone else.

Now, if Ultear was simply a one-off case of Mashima having a villain who has a longing for death to be the way they redeem themselves than I might not have as much of a problem with how things transpired. As it stands, she's on the same team with someone who had the same issue in Jellal. Earlier in this same arc, Jellal still had doubts about whether he should continue to live in light of his past actions. He's ultimately brought to think that he should live because of his conversation with Erza.

By the way, she’s also been with Meredy for even longer than that. She’s seen how she’s turned from an emotionless puppet to her own mage. Heck, Meredy should have harbored resentment and hatred over being the one to cause her family and village’s demise. However, she was the one to convince Ultear to keep living as long as she did.

Then there’s Gray himself. As callous as Iced Shell jokes end up being from fans, Gray never seemed to remove the technique from the table of possible abilities to pull from. He even went on to learn a stronger form of the spell. But every time he's gone to use it, he was prevented from doing so because of his friends. Each time, the lesson is that he isn't supposed to recklessly sacrifice his own life, even if it might save the people he cares about.

And it doesn’t stop with them. Fairy Tail is full of characters who start out as serious villains you’d think would never change or be good, have a change of heart, and do good for the world. They join Fairy Tail or other guilds, change their ways, and become better people than they were when we first met them. The arc this happens in involves that on an individual level with Flare and a group level with Sabertooth.

Are you starting to understand why I have a problem with how this played out?

Many things done by Hiro Mashima are the product of his indecision and "free-form" writing regarding Fairy Tail. There are plenty of moments that show where Mashima wasn't exactly fully sold on the thing he'd end up doing just yet. If you read Mashima talk about his writing process, you almost get the sense that he isn't entirely sure of everything he's doing from chapter to chapter.

To be clear, this isn’t to say he doesn’t plan ahead. As he has explained it, while some details are solid in his head, others are a bit more flexible than others. For example, in the last arc, Mashima wasn’t exactly sure about the nature of Irene and Erza’s relationship. Looking back, you can see how that waffling affects how their story is told.

The decision to cast Last Ages doesn't strike me as that kind of move. This feels like an intentional writing decision by Mashima. In essence, he's decided not to go against the grain of characters he's previously written and even some he'd go on to write to have Ultear leave the series as a narrative force.

Or so you'd think.

Part IV: The Post-Last Ages Age

A lot has been said about Ultear's returns to relevance. When she was a part of the battle against DiMaria, I remember people talking about if her return was a cheapening of her sacrifice. I've even talked about her continued relevance as it relates to Gray since Last Ages, including a post for Graytear Week in 2017 about Gray remembering Ultear during the Silver fight.

While Gray's flashbacks to Ultear make sense, I'm kind of iffy on the logic behind Ultear's appearances in Sun Village and Alvarez Empire. We kind of got an explanation behind her existence in Alvarez, being that Ultear can work within spaces where time is messed up. This has been repeated again in the sequel. I don't know that I like the logic behind it, but I also can't say, as some might, that this is Mashima regretting his actions. It’s worth talking about some of the things that have come up through Ultear’s new appearances after casting Last Ages.

For Gray, her sacrifice represents something he should avoid. Almost every time he remembers her, the point is that she made a sacrifice so that he could continue to live. Therefore he shouldn't try to throw his own life away. If you read the post that I made for Graytear week, you know that I like that this theme was reinforced by Ultear's sacrifice.

However, this is a lesson that Gray has already learned. Arcs before with Natsu stopping him in Galuna Island. I even say in that post that remembering Natsu stop him then should have been enough to stop him any other time he used Iced Shell. Especially considering Natsu stopping Gray is remembered every time this theme is brought up. This motif is particularly annoying because, in effect, it makes Ultear's sacrifice a repeat of Ur's use of Iced Shell. Gray even says that he lost both mother and daughter because they were trying to save his life.

In effect, he wasn't able to seal Ultear's darkness away, just as Ur did for him. Ultear saved Gray, but she ultimately succumbed to the darkness in her.

This brings us to the final arc. Her longest post-Last Ages moment is her involvement in Wendy and Chelia's fight with DiMaria. At the end of the fight, she muses about how, if things were different, she could have been just like the two of them. When I first read this, it felt nice knowing that Ultear recognized she could have done things differently. Looking back, it's annoying to see that she recognizes that she could have changed but it would require intervention much earlier on in her life. As if Gray and Ultear's relationship had more of an effect on Gray than it did on Ultear.

Not a whole lot of people seem to talk about how Chelia sacrificing her ability to use for Wendy's safety probably seemed similar to Ultear wanting to use Last Ages. I remember the Chendy shipping discourse when the moment happened in the manga, but I wasn't struck by that alternative until long after I rewatched the events in the anime. I don't buy into the whole "Ultear coming back cheapens her sacrifice" logic that many people have posited. However, the parallel between Last Ages and Third Origin is weakened once you reveal Chelia is still able to use magic after it.

And in the sequel, she appears again to Jellal to effectively telling him to live for Erza's sake. This might be where Ultear's presence makes the most sense. Ultear sees Jellal as someone going to make the same mistake she made and she wants to prevent that. I can’t help but feel annoyed that this was the direction Mashima decided to take this moment in.

I feel that continuously comparing this situation to Jerza makes it seem that I'm bitter against Jerza. However, I actually do like Jerza as it has been playing out in canon, even as I think that Jellal's redemption situation is a mess. It was among the first ships that I came to like within Fairy Tail and I’ve never been able to fully distance myself from it, even as I’ve come to like other ships for both characters (mostly Erza honestly) outside of Jerza. I don’t mean to make these comparisons to seem jealous of a ship I don’t like getting what I want a ship I like to have.

But when there is a clear obvious example of what we could have gotten from Gray and Ultear's relationship in another relationship involving their friends, which also happens to be one of the biggest ships in fandom? It's hard for me not to think that Mashima's doing this on purpose. After the immediate euphoria of seeing Ultear come back washed over me and I thought through this moment again, I was pissed of about Mashima’s handling of Last Ages all over again.

One of the craziest things about this whole situation is that the anime accidentally gave us an insane possibility for Ultear post-Grand Magic Games. If you don't know, when Ultear's backstory was revealed during her fight with Gray in the anime, it was revealed that the lab she was in was headed by Brain, who was the leader of Oracion Seis. I say accidentally because I don't have any proof that Mashima meant for this connection to exist. Nonetheless, if she didn't go through with Last Ages, Crime Sorciere would end up meeting with Oracion Seis.

I would pay good money to see how Ultear would interact with Brain post-Tenrou Island. In one story written by a fellow Graytear shipper, intended to be somewhat of a rewrite of the series, Ultear meets with Brain and kills him, along with a few other members of Oracion Seis. Is this how it would go down in canon? Probably not under Mashima’s watch. Though, the idea is definitely intriguing.

Speaking of which...

Epilogue: How, Despite Hilariously Low Expectations, Fans Disappoint Me

I don't think fans were given as much of an opportunity to believe in Graytear's ability to succeed as other smaller ships in Fairy Tail. Of course, I say this as someone who wishes that they did end up in a deeper, hopefully, romantic relationship and knows people who feel the same way. But, I've joked about how small the Graytear fandom is before.

If you've read some of my recent posts about Lisanna and Nali, you'll notice that I don't have as much of a problem with Mashima over how he handled Lisanna as I do with the greater fandom treatment of her. To be clear, I have issues with how little Mashima did with Lisanna after Edolas and I do wish he did more with her in canon. At the same time, I can understand why we got so little of her, with or without Natsu.

Still, with a ship like Nali, you kind of hope fans take what happened in canon and have fun with the possibilities. While it’s not on the same level as the Big 4, it's not as if it's impossible to find people who like the ship and are making new content for it. I can't exactly blame fans for not doing this with Graytear to a similar degree. But, I figure I should quickly deal with some things I have heard said by fans regarding Graytear. (read: I have nowhere else to put this except the end.)

The worst I've heard many fans over the years is that they're like siblings. Considering Ur didn't see Lyon or Gray as her kids, I can't say that I agree with this interpretation. And considering one of the biggest ships in the FMA fandom is Roy Mustang and his alchemist teacher's daughter, excuse me for not understanding how we got to this take being so popular. (inb4 "Royai and Graytear are different")

Beyond that, there's the take that this isn't the ship that parallels Reina and Musica from Hiro Mashima's other work, Rave Master. However, talking about why it is and why the false comparisons to Gruvia are infuriatingly incorrect would take way too much time and we're already over three thousand words in (read: I made a post about this over four years ago and I’m absolutely working to update it). Suffice it to say, I don't buy that line of reasoning either.

On a related note, there is the notion that Ultear “fell on the sword for Gruvia“. That’s more of a romantically-charged argument then I’m willing to talk about here and may be more suited for another time. However, it’s worth saying now that I don’t know that Ultear thought that much about the specific relationship between Gray and Juvia in casting Last Ages. I’m not even willing to say that Mashima thought about Gruvia that way in his writing of Last Ages, even as I interpret Gray “smiling for her sake” during Gift to be about Ultear and not Juvia.

I want to end this post by saying that I am grateful for the fans who have agreed with me and a shoelace on the merits of Graytear (you either get the reference or you don't). I have a few ideas of how that could work inside and outside of my rewrite universe that I will get to soon enough.

It’s also worth reiterating that this is one of my least favorite aspects of Mashima’s writing regarding Fairy Tail. I don’t feel as strongly negative regarding most of Fairy Tail, even among the things I disagree with most fans about, as strongly as I do this. (read: It’s unlikely I’d write a post like this if Nalu became canon.) I highly doubt Mashima would do anything else with Fairy Tail that would warrant this kind of post from me.

#ultear milkovich #last ages #graytear #gray fullbuster #anti gruvia #actually not really #just want to keep certain people away #happy thanksgiving #don't mean to be salty #i'm just late to posting this #fav

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svtxsoju · 4 years

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01. crush that hangover! | dear miss soju

ღ Synopsis: College is hard. Love is even harder. Good thing the students of Mansae University can write in to Miss Soju, the campus’ very own romance advice columnist! The only problem is she’s never been in a relationship. Ever. There’s no telling what kind of chaos she may cause in the love lives of several of MU’s most eligible bachelors. Too bad no one knows who she really is! ღ Characters/Pairings: college AU! Seventeen & OC’s, Pairings TBA! ღ Genre: Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life ღ Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol, underage drinking, mentions of sex, language, bad jokes ღ Word Count: 5.0k words ღ Binu’s Note: ever stare at a selfie so long that it looks weird? ya that’s this chapter for me. there were just so many elements that i wanted to get right, but i kept changing things and now i can’t look at it anymore :c i’ll properly proofread it later, but for now enjoy!! i have some other content ima post later so i’m p excited for that hehehe anyway ya happy friday!!!

《 ⊛ Author’s Note & Credits ⊛ Disclaimer ⊛ Masterlist ⊛ 》

《 Previous ⊛ Next 》

Monday, September 2, 2019 9:05AM

This was not how Joohyun had imagined her first day at The Front. Whenever she described this moment to Jihoon, she was very clear about the way she would walk in so confidently that the senior writers would wonder why they forgot to email her an invite to their 8:30 meeting. Jihoon, who relished in raining on her parade, predicted that they wouldn’t even know her name. But she had no time for his blunt realism, because she had been living as a made-up person since June and her corporate daydreams were the only things keeping her sane. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but she figured that once they saw her talent, everything would be just fine.

So it’s not difficult to imagine Joohyun’s distress when she just barely stumbled into the office this morning, nursing a mind-melting hangover.

She should have known she would be a goner when the sports section interns had challenged her to a drinking game at last night’s welcome party. Her drinking partner, a small girl interning at HR, had only made it two shots in before falling asleep on her lap. For the record, she had still made sure that she was the last intern standing (although she definitely wasn’t the same bright-eyed freshman that could chug a pitcher of soju and beer just to spite Jihoon). Looking around the office, she felt a little relieved to find that the other interns were suffering just as much as her, if their slumped positions and pained groans told her anything. So much for giving a good first impression.

Joohyun was trying her best not to look like she was two steps from an early grave when she was approached by a big woman with a laptop in her arms. She awkwardly bowed her head to greet her, but the woman’s gaze never left the screen of her Macbook. “Miss… Joonyoung?”

“Oh, that’s not--”

“You’re the new advice column intern, correct?”

“Oh. Yes, that’s me, but that’s not my--”

“I’ll show you to your desk.” Without so much as a glance, the woman turned on her heel, now typing furiously on her laptop. Joohyun followed behind glumly.

This was all Jihoon’s fault.

“So, how’s your first day going?” Jihoon asked over his bowl of ramen. He flagged down the tall waiter and ordered a bowl of rice.

“Fine,” was Joohyun’s curt answer. In truth, it was far from ideal. She had watched longingly as all the other interns were assigned with their first projects, while she was left with an empty inbox. How was she supposed to write an advice column when there was no one asking her for advice? She spent most of the morning familiarizing herself with the previous entries of The Front’s dating advice column, the most recent of which dated to the newspaper’s May issue… from 1997.

When her supervisor told her to take a lunch break, she had made a beeline to meet Jihoon at the restaurant near the cafe he worked at. Now that she was sitting in front of him though, she wasn’t quite ready to confess that her dream job was much more mundane than she expected. “Hey, wasn’t this a fried chicken shop last semester?”

“That bad, huh?” Jihoon clicked his tongue. Joohyun sighed - she didn’t know why she even tried to hide anything from him when he’s known her for 12 years. He probably knew some parts of her better than she did. “Come on Joo, don’t give up on Miss Soju so easily. It’s just because you’re a little hungover. We watched The Notebook like five times this summer! What more do you need to know about true love? Do you want me to set you up on another date with that freakishly tall dude for more hands-on experience? Ah, speak of the devil!”

“Thanks, Mingyu.” Joohyun took the bowl of rice and gave the server a sweet smile, which greatly contrasted with the glare she shot at Jihoon soon after. The server, a stunning boy with jet-black hair and tanned skin, stuck his tongue out at Jihoon. She waited until Mingyu went to the other side of the restaurant to serve a rowdy group of boys to whisper-shout at Jihoon. “Can you try not to expose my identity to the whole campus before I even get the chance to write my first ever entry?”

“Ohhh, that’s why you’re sulking. No one’s sent you a letter yet so you didn’t get to do anything today,” Jihoon said. It sometimes got annoying how he could read her like she was his worn-out copy of his favorite sports manga. She had to admit though, he did find ways to make it worth it. Like when he said, “I might actually be able to help you with that one, if you want. I can make a little shout out for Miss Soju on my stream tonight. For a small price, of course.”

“You’re streaming tonight?” The girl perked up from poking at her noodles. Over the past three years, Jihoon had built up a cult following through Woozi’s Universe, a Twitch stream where he shared music made by the underground artists on campus (including him). He only ever released new music on Mondays, so tonight would definitely have a large viewership. Joohyun immediately went into her business pose lest she show how eager she really was. “Well, what would you like in exchange, Mr. Lee?”

“I merely request that you pay for my lunch today, Ms. So,” he replied. Joohyun looked in horror at Jihoon, a petite man who ate like he was three boys going through puberty; today alone he had had an extra-large bowl of ramen, three orders of rice, and two cans of Coke.

Then, she imagined facing an empty inbox for the rest of the week. Yup, this was definitely worth it. That didn’t stop her from making a show of taking out her wallet, taking care to sigh extra loudly. She had to give Jihoon his moment to revel in his triumphs, otherwise he would get grumpy.

Jihoon cackled giddily. “Pleasure doing business with you as always, Ms. So.”

“Pretty sure my hangover is coming back.”

“Oh shit, shut up!” Jihoon suddenly yelped and ducked underneath the table.

“What the hell, Jih--”

“No, don’t say my name! He might hear you and then I’ll have to talk to him,” Jihoon whispered, jerking his head towards a bright yellow blur skipping to the back of the restaurant. “He’s one of my fans. He found out I worked at the cafe and now he keeps coming in to talk to about how sad his sex life is.”

Joohyun pursed her lips and peeked a glance over. He had joined the table of rowdy boys. “Hmm, maybe I should say hi... he seems like a potential Miss Soju reader.”

“Just pay the check already, woman!”

The new interns at The Front were not the only students sporting hangovers that day. This can only be expected of the second week back at MU. Sunday night had been the explosive finale of a full week of department welcome parties, happy reunions, and lots and lots of alcohol. Some of the incoming freshmen were convinced that Mansae University was not actually a school, but a training ground for surviving as many shots of soju as physically possible. That is until they woke up on Monday morning and still had to drag themselves to their 9AM’s, suddenly faced with the reality of what college really was: an endless cycle of perpetual hangovers and school work that’s due way too soon.

This was all good news for the new ramen shop on campus, which had been serving the hoards of hungover zombies since 10AM. Vernon, who was in great pain from the night before, had been ambushed by his roommate after his morning class. He was brought to the restaurant under the pretense of curing his woes with a bowl of warm soup and noodles. When he caught sight of a man in red waiting for them at a back table though, he immediately knew what was actually coming.

“Hello Vernonnie,” Seungcheol greeted him with a sly smile. “Care to take a seat next to me?”

“Uh, not really,” Vernon mumbled, but he sat down anyway. He scrunched his nose at his roommate as the boy slumped into the seat in front of him. “Traitor.”

“Sorry babe, Seungcheol hyung promised me free lunch. Also, you’re one to talk, after you abandoned me to fend for myself last night--! Ugh,” his roommate, Seungkwan, clutched at his head, where a rusty hammer persistently tapped away at his temple. “Hyung, why did you do this to me? My face is gonna be bloated for the rest of the week. I have an audition in two days, you know!”

“Hey, I did ask you if you were sure you wanted-- what was that you ordered? Oh yeah-- ‘the strongest drink that is legal to serve in South Korea’!” Seungcheol said, his eyes wide. As he got more defensive, he began to point his finger excessively at Seungkwan. “And what was it all for? To impress your new crush?”

“I am way too hungover to get lectured by a couple of hypocrites,” Seungkwan grumbled. “I was trying to get some inspiration, you know, a drunken spark of genius! How else am I supposed to figure out how to confess to them?”

“Okay, I wasn’t actually asking,” Seungcheol ignored Seungkwan’s offended gasp in favor of turning his attention to a fidgeting Vernon. His cherry red lips now returned to its wide grin. “I am here to discuss where our dearest Vernon went off to last night.”

“Um.” Vernon answered with a nervous smile. “I just went home early--”

“Bullshit!” Seungkwan looked absolutely scandalized. “It wasn’t enough to abandon me, so now you’re lying too? I don’t know if I can take much more of this!”

Vernon had only officially known Seungkwan for two whole weeks, but with the way the two had been inseparable since move-in day, everyone at the freshmen dorms had assumed that they had known each other for years and years. He knew that someone like Boo Seungkwan was a rare find as far as random dorm assignments went, and that not everyone was so lucky to have a roommate that reminds them to eat real food once in a while or a friend who’s willing to take care of them when they get their first real hangover. Just for that day alone, Vernon knew that Seungkwan deserved to know where he went. Plus he shared a room with him, so it’s not like he could hide anything anyway.

Seungcheol shook his head and slung an arm around Vernon’s shoulder. His grip wasn’t tight but firm enough that Vernon knew he was trapped there until he confessed the truth. “Look, I don’t need any details! I just wanted to make sure that you’re staying safe and all that junk. Also, I would like to know what base you got to.” He erupted into a fit of giggles, but soon cleared his throat to return to his investigation. “Really though, tell us what happened.”

It wasn’t like Vernon didn’t want to tell Seungcheol either. Vernon’s and Seungcheol’s families had known each other since the two boys were in middle and high school, and when he found out that Seungcheol would be a senior at Mansae University that year, he felt some of his nerves ease up about moving out. Seungcheol had always been like an older brother to him, and was always there when he needed his help in high school. He trusted him!

That’s probably why he subconsciously blamed Seungcheol for the pain he was going through at the moment. When the upperclassman had offered to sneak Vernon and Seungkwan into a party at the karaoke bar that he bartended at, the two freshmen all too eagerly accepted without thinking of any consequences. They had received no pointers, no words of caution. How were they supposed to know that bar parties were completely different from welcome dinners? And how was Seungkwan supposed to know that downing so many cocktails within the hour wasn’t a good idea? Most importantly, how was Vernon supposed to know that he would meet someone like her there? Vernon groaned into his hands as he could no longer resist the flood of memories from the night before, and leaned into Seungcheol’s shoulder as he tried to recoil from his past self. “Hyung, it hurts too much to say out loud.”

“It’s okay buddy, take your time,” Seungcheol patted his head gently and called the tall server over. Vernon continued to let out unintelligible noises of regret while the senior ordered bowls for all three of them. “How are you even hungover right now? I only remember giving you one drink last night before you went off with--”

“I’m not hungover.”

“Oh. Then what are you?”

“An idiot,” Vernon mumbled through his fingers. “A big, cringy idiot.”

Seungkwan raised his hand, looking frantically between the two boys. “Excuse me? Did I miss the reading homework? Went off with who? Last night? What? How drunk was I?!”

“Very drunk, but that’s not why you didn’t notice Vernon’s new friend. You were a little occupied with your own conquest,” Seungcheol stage-whispered from across the table. “Honestly, you two are wild. It’s only two weeks into fall semester and you’re already out here simping.”

“Um, and? I saw you making googly eyes at several ladies last night!” The higher Seungkwan’s voice rose, the harder the rusty hammer banged inside his head. “Ow.”

“Those were just my friends who happened to be ladies! Sorry that my eyes are just naturally soft and alluring,” Seungcheol said, batting his long, dark lashes at the boy. “What were her eyes like, Vernon? I only noticed that she had a nose ring. Couldn’t really see her properly while you two were ‘talking’ in the corner...”

“The corner! A nose ring!” Seungkwan repeated and clutched at his chest. “Tell me more.”

“We were just talking!” Vernon finally spoke, his face stuck in an embarrassed grimace. “There’s not really much more to tell. I just know that she’s the coolest girl I’ve ever met and I’ll never meet anyone like her again.”

“What! You two were talking for like two hours! And I saw you leaving with her!” Seungcheol said a little too loudly for Vernon’s liking. The server gingerly approached their table with their orders, setting the bowls down as quickly as possible before rushing away. Vernon noted to give him a big tip when they left. “Don’t tell us that’s all.”

“I just dropped her off at her apartment and went back to the dorms,” Vernon confirmed to Seungcheol’s horror. “I really didn’t want it to be just last night.”

“So... you asked her out?”

“No.”

“You got her number?”

“No.”

“Her Instagram? Her Twitter? Her student ID number? Do you even know her name?”

“I already said I was an idiot,” Vernon whined. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to talk about it. But yes, I did at least get her name.”

It was the only thing he could think of since he woke up. She was the only thing he could think of since he woke up. The way her eyes had lit up while they talked about her major. The way her lips had curved into a clever smile when she told a joke. The way her small hand had fit in his as they walked to her apartment. Then, he would remember how he completely fucked it all up before he started, and his headache would return full-force.

“Dude.” Seungcheol fixed him with a stern stare, but it was kind of hard to take him seriously when his mouth was full of noodles. “Have you never asked a girl out before?”

“You know I have! I don’t know what happened either, okay? I guess I just froze up when she looked at me… then I just went home after telling her good night.”

Seungcheol feigned a gag. “Gross. I was joking earlier, but you’re an actual simp. Hate to break it to you like this.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Seungkwan piped up from where he comfortably rested his head on the table.

“That’s nice, Seungkwan, but ‘sweet’ isn’t gonna get either of you laid,” Seungcheol chuckled. “Vernon, your girl was clearly waiting for you to make the next move. Trust me, girls don’t just ask anyone to walk them home.”

“I didn’t want to look like a creep!” Vernon sullenly stared down at his untouched bowl of noodles. “What am I supposed to do now, hyung?”

“Yeah, lend us your wisdom, O Alluring One,” Seungkwan chanted. “You clearly have plenty of experience from the past three years.

“Like I said, I just have a lot of friends,” Seungcheol shrugged, then suddenly checked the time on his phone. “Oh shit-- speaking of friends, I have to meet one for a study session at her apartment in 15 minutes.”

“Sounds nasty.”

“Your mom’s nasty,” Seungcheol retorted with a provocative smile. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Boo! Then maybe you’d be able to think of how to confess.”

“Uncalled for!”

He placed several bills on the table and checked his phone again. “This should be enough to cover lunch, kiddos. I wish I could help you two, but I’m booked for the rest of the day. And the week.”

“But what if I meet her again?” Vernon asked desperately.

“Then text me! I might not reply right away though. I’ve got two classes later and then I have dinner plans--”

“Another girl I presume--”

“Shut up! I also have to go to the gym before doing… uh, doing a thing. And then I have a shift at 24H.” Seungcheol stood up and looked at the distressed boys before him, his soft eyes more affectionate than alluring. Was he like this as a freshman? He reached over to ruffle the freshmans' heads. “You two should probably leave soon, too. I’ll see y’all later!”

And just like that, Seungcheol was gone, and Vernon was once again left without any advice from the senior. Vernon was never one for dramatics, but his personal failures felt like a gray cloud of shame hanging over him. He began to worry that he was just gonna have to live like this forever, because nothing in the world was bright enough to break through his doom and gloom (well, her smile probably could, but Vernon was never going to see that again). The fact that Seungkwan seemed like he was about to Train to Busan his ass any minute now didn’t really lift his spirits either.

Lucky for him, the universe was not going to let him give up so easily. At that moment, a boy with glaringly yellow hair and a heavy camera on his shoulder bursted through the entrance. His smile brightened when he spotted the two boys in the back and he didn’t hesitate to bound towards them, skipping right past the server welcoming him in. “Seungkwan! I knew I’d find you here.”

“Dearest Vernon, it seems we have been joined by the lovely Soonyoung hyung. Perhaps he might know the medicine we require to ease our ailments in love,” Seungkwan suddenly stood up, all signs of his hangover expertly hidden. He smiled directly into the camera lens. “Hyung, would you kindly share your wisdom with us lowly freshmen? Pray tell, how does one woo the object of their affection?”

Vernon, who was well-acquainted with Seungkwan’s antics by then, watched on in silent amusement. If anything could distract him from his internal turmoil for a moment, it was Seungkwan; even if he was just spewing nonsense. What really made him crack up though, was the way Soonyoung (that was his name, right?) was clearly trying very hard to suppress his giggles. “Um,” Soonyoung managed to cut in breathlessly. “You know I’m not rolling, right? Also, I didn’t understand any of the words that just left your mouth, but it definitely felt like you were putting some sort of ancient curse on me. Hi, I’m Soonyoung by the way!”

Vernon introduced himself and shook Soonyoung’s hand. Seungkwan could only sigh in exasperation at Soonyoung’s lack of culture (not that he was surprised of course). The boy apparently thought it was a good fashion choice to leave his apartment wearing a tiger print button-up. “I was asking if you could help us out with confessing to our crushes,” Seungkwan said with a roll of his eyes.

“Ohh, that’s what you said!” Soonyoung laughed until he was keeled over, clutching his stomach. Vernon and Seungkwan could only watch him with great expectation. When the boy finally caught his breath and wiped the sweat from his brow, he gave the boys a very serious look. “Yeah, I haven’t gotten any since January. So you should probably ask someone else.”

This also did not surprise Seungkwan.

“Excuse me?” The tall server approached them again, clearly giving them his best ‘I hate working in retail’ smile. “If y’all are done eating, could you please leave? You’re disturbing the other customers.”

“I’m eating, I’m eating!” Soonyoung smiled until his cheeks reached his eyes, a power move that he saves for occasions where he found himself in trouble, which happened more often than he’d care to admit. Once the server let them be, muttering something about not getting paid enough, Soonyoung turned his killing smile onto the two boys. “Can I have some of this? I can Venmo y’all later, I’m pretty broke right now.”

Vernon pushed his uneaten ramen towards Soonyoung, who looked at him as if he was the sun itself. The boy carefully set down his film camera and immediately began slurping away. Vernon nodded his head towards the contraption and asked why he was carrying it around.

“Oh, I rented it before coming to find Seungkwan. I’m thinking about making him the subject of my film project this semester, since the theater program is pretty buzzed that he’s joining this year!” Soonyoung patted the camera affectionately.

“‘Thinking about?’ I thought I was your final choice!” Seungkwan blurted. The ramen he had for lunch seemed to have finally restored some of his strength, because he no longer clutched at his temple when his voice rose.

“I said ‘most likely’ choice! I just want to keep my options open,” Soonyoung responded with great care. He didn’t want to hurt Seungkwan’s feelings, but he was definitely re-evaluating alternate subjects at the moment. “It’s only the second week!”

“This is why you’re single,” the theater major said in a huff. “Lack of commitment!”

“Hey! I am perfectly capable of commitment. It’s the girls that don’t want to commit, ” Soonyoung said in a small voice, and looked off into the distance wistfully. “I really hope Woozi does put out a new song tonight. Maybe he’ll tweet something soon.”

“Woozi? Who’s that?” Vernon asked. At this point, he was just looking for anything that would fend off his memories, which lingered at the edges of his mind and waited for moments of silence to bring him another fresh glass of cringe. He was pretty sure that he had experienced well above the recommended daily serving.

“Oh, he’s a Twitch streamer from MU! I was actually gonna say if you two are really struggling in the love department, you should definitely check out his stream tonight.” Soonyoung nearly wiggled with enthusiasm. “He usually promotes songs from artists around the area, but his self-composed songs are my personal favorites. They’ve been what’s getting me through this dry spell, honestly.”

“Oh, that sounds pretty cool.” It sounded like it was right up Vernon’s alley, actually.

Soonyoung nodded. “You listen to them and you just feel hopeful to find the kind of love he sings about. I’ll send you the link later!”

“Underground artists? No thanks, I think I’ll stick to Eva Noblezada,” Seungkwan scoffed. “I don’t really think a stranger can help me with my problems. They don’t even know me.”

“Oh come on, Kwan. Let’s just give it a shot!”

Even after all his grumbling, Seungkwan still sat beside Vernon at one of the desks in their dorm later that night. They had opened the link Soonyoung had sent them, and munched on some snacks while they waited for the stream to start up. Vernon waited with baited breath for his distraction to begin; he had spent most of the day attempting to wall off any thoughts of her or last night, but it was kind of difficult to think of anything else when all of his professors only droned on and on about quizzes and homework.

When a boy with fair skin and burgundy hair came into frame, he nearly sighed in relief. The streamer appeared to be sitting in a small, dark office only illuminated by his computer screen and several pink neon signs that hung on the walls. Vernon could recognize the faint outlines of several guitars and a keyboard behind him. The boy clicked around for a while as more people joined the stream before finally waving into the camera.

“Hi guys, welcome in! Thanks for joining Woozi’s Universe. If you’re new here, I’m Woozi and I like to write songs sometimes. If you’re an old subscriber, I’m really sorry for the long wait. I’ve been working on a lot of projects, doing some collabs - I’ll actually be releasing one of those collabs tonight and I’m really excited for you guys to hear it. If you have any new songs you want to listen to together, go ahead and leave them in the chat!”

As soon as the stream started flowing, Vernon immediately knew why Soonyoung gave Woozi such rave reviews. The guy just had good vibes and he definitely knew his music. Vernon was hooked. Even Seungkwan, try as he might to look disinterested, couldn’t help bopping his head occasionally.

“Thanks for the subscription @chweinggum! You just helped me reach my tenth new sub for tonight, and you guys know what that means. Time for the new song! It was really fun to write this with my collaborator, so we really hope you like it!”

After spending the past hour just vibing in Woozi’s Universe, discovering new songs and artists, Vernon had really hyped himself up to hear the streamer’s personal work. If Soonyoung’s words were true, this would be the song that would truly heal his heartache, the song that would push him to forget about the whole ordeal. He listened in anticipation as pleasant harmonies played through his laptop speakers. But as the song progressed, Vernon did not quite feel the reprieve he was hoping for. In fact, he was kind of taken aback. The lyrics… felt like they told his story. Maybe not word for word, but enough to make Vernon stare at the laptop screen with his mouth open. What kind of hocus pocus, That’s So Raven, mind reading shit was this? The song broke down the walls he had tried to build throughout the day and left him vulnerable to its strangely upbeat and energetic tune.

He had to admit that he didn’t hate it. The cringe from his own actions did not disappear, but the song helped him focus more on the moments that made his heart flutter, the moments that incited those pesky butterflies in his stomach. They were the moments that made him so hard on himself in the first place and the reasons why it hurt so much that he messed up. She had made him feel seen. She had done everything right. And all he wanted to do was to show her that he saw her too. He just had to figure out how.

Woozi clapped his hands loudly when the song came to an end, bringing Vernon out of his deep reverie. “And that was Pretty U by yours truly! I collaborated on it with an artist who doesn’t want to be named as of now, so I’ll just say it was great to work with such a talented person and I hope to work with them again soon! Anyway, we know the lyrics are pretty cheesy, but let’s just say it’s based on a juvenile romance! I tried capturing that giddy feeling of liking someone and wanting to tell them pretty words but losing confidence at the last second. I’m sure we’ve all been there before.”

Vernon sat up, nodding his head as if Woozi could see him. After his song scanned his soul like that, Vernon figured it wasn’t impossible.

“I know that some of my subscribers listen to me because they go through these kinds of hardships. But I wanted to say that my songs can’t fix everything. Even I go through it sometimes and I need someone to lean on. There’s actually a new thing I just found out about from a friend - ‘Dear Miss Soju’. It’s a column that they’re gonna start publishing on The Front’s website, and you can anonymously write in all your burning questions about love, relationships, or sex. So if you’re having a hard time confessing like in this song, just know that there’s someone out there to help you out!

“Since you’ll be anonymous, you can write about your heart’s deepest desires, even if it’s a little freaky. Yes, I’m talking to you, user @callmesoon, please stop trying to tell me about your sex life. Anyway, I’ll put the email in the description for anyone that’s interested!” Woozi paused to laugh at several of the comments. “No guys, The Front does not sponsor me. But I can tell you about a company that does sponsor me. Hello Fresh--”

Seungkwan closed the laptop and sighed. “Well, that didn’t help me at all. Soonyoung hyung said this Woozi guy was gonna make me feel better, but now he’s just telling us to spilll all our secrets to some other stranger. What a scam! Right, Vernon? Vernon?”

By the time Seungkwan turned to look at his friend, Vernon was already writing his second draft for his email. The boy sighed again. Maybe he could give it a shot.

The next morning, Joohyun opened up her laptop to find thirteen emails in her inbox. She smiled.

Now she could get to work.

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inkedstarlight · 4 years

Text

Bittersweet: Chapter Five

Summary: College is kicking Nesta’s ass, so she goes to her T.A., Tomas, for some extra help. Note: Read it on AO3 here! Bittersweet Masterlist Warnings: N/A

October

It was only a couple weeks into the fall semester, and it was already hell.

Nesta was drowning in schoolwork, whether it be essays or presentations or hour-long projects. She had exams every damn week, so she was at the campus library nearly every day – typically until the sun set and the stars emerged. But even then, her night was far from over. Nesta returned home only to catch up on the work she’d put off for her paid internship. Elain got in the habit of making Nesta tea and cookies when she returned from the library on those ruthless nights. And every damn time, Nesta would wrap her arms around her sister with thanks.

This was her routine for at least four days of the week. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Needless to say, she was fucking exhausted.

The worst part, though? Nesta’s grades were precariously low despite the countless hours she’d been putting in. And she knew exactly what was causing it.

It had been a month since her father’s death, yet Nesta was still waking up in her own sweat every morning after a nightmare involving him. Of him hanging on the edge of a cliff, begging Nesta to save him. Of her dad screaming at her to kill herself. Of her mother dragging Nesta into the other room as he watches idly by.

Nesta had cursed herself for letting her father’s death affect her in this way. She’d never been one to grieve, especially not for so long. She preferred leaving it in the past. It was easier that way.

Thanks to her merciless professors, Nesta was forced to dedicate nearly all of her time to school, which forced her to neglect her internship. They required she edit ten pieces of work every week, whether it be self-published books, college publications, or online articles. Even though the internship was entirely online – a convenient bonus – she still didn’t have enough time to fulfill the weekly goals. Instead of editing ten works, she was barely scrapping by with five. She’d already received several angry emails from her boss threatening to fire her if she didn’t get her shit together.

And, well… Nesta didn’t get her shit together. On the last day of September, she received that fateful email.

Nesta Archeron,

I regret to inform you that we’ve made the difficult decision of letting you go from Scribner Editorial. While I understand you’re in the midst of earning your Master’s degree, we are looking for editors who can reach – or exceed – the necessary requirements. Unfortunately, you have been lacking in the past few weeks. It has caused other editors to pick up your slack and do more than what we ask for. We are sorry to see you go.

Sincerely,

Ressina Laurent Scribner Editorial

Nesta read and reread the email dozens of times before closing her laptop. Her head fell in her hands, her shoulders trembling with the weight she carried.

She stared out the window, the world a flurry of red, orange, and yellow. Nesta had worked so hard for this, and all for nothing. She couldn’t believe she’d fucked up such a prestigious internship. It’d paid surprisingly well, and that had been the only income she was receiving. Even with the paychecks from Scribner Editorial, Nesta’s financial situation was holding on by a thread. She had used the money her father had passed down to her to pay off the remaining student loans she owned. Her family never had much money and when it was split in three, it didn’t make much of a difference.

Just like that, Nesta no longer had a job.

Fuck.

Within ten minutes of receiving that email, she was already browsing online for job opportunities. Nesta didn’t care what it was, as long as it put steady income in her pocket. There was no way she would be able to finish school without a job.

But unfortunately, after an hour of job hunting, Nesta came up empty handed. The only person who was hiring was the large grocery store downtown. They were looking for a cashier. And there was no way in hell Nesta would even consider working there. She’d seen the crowds they got on weekends. The work were incessantly forced to talk with rude, invasive customers. Nesta was far from the realm of customer service.

Nesta was down to her last resort. She didn't give herself another second to overthink it as she picked up her phone from her desk and texted Feyre.

I was just fired. You know of any job openings in the area?

Nesta sat by her phone for a couple minutes until Feyre deigned to respond.

The only one I know if is Rita’s, the local bar. They’re looking for a bartender, have been for months.

Nesta nearly snorted out her coffee when she read the text. Feyre had to be kidding. Nesta, bartending? There was no way in hell she could be a halfway decent bartender – anyone who’s ever met Nesta knew that. She didn’t possess the charm nor the patience, and she certainly couldn’t deal with drunken men who leered at her all night. In Massachusetts, she'd had her fair share of hook-ups, men and women alike. It was night after night of mindless, drunken sex. But then she'd grown up.

Nesta looked back at the soft glow of her computer screen. There had to be something, right?

----------------------------------

Wrong.

After scrolling through hundreds of websites with job opportunities (or lack thereof), Nesta collapsed on her bed. She checked the time to find that it was nearly one in the morning. Rubbing her face, she let out a low groan. Tomorrow was Monday. Gods, why did tomorrow have to be Monday? She was so exhausted that she was feeling physically ill: sore throat, cough, stuffy nose. The urge to skip classes tomorrow was tempting.

But Nesta knew she wouldn't skip. What would she do? A whole day to herself and a head full of intrusive thoughts. The perfect ingredients for a panic attack or two.

Her gaze fell to the small stack of bills she had yet to pay – that she couldn’t pay. Bills that would only grow.

With that thought in mind, Nesta cursed Scribner Editorial as she grabbed her laptop and searched ‘Rita’s’ on an open browser.

Then, she composed an email.

----------------------------------------

The next day, Nesta finally got around to contacting her Fictional Techniques teaching assistant. It was by far her most challenging class, and she despised the professor. A big chunk of her studying was dedicated to that course alone. And since she no longer had a job – for now – she finally had the time to meet with him for extra help.

His name was Tomas. He was notoriously known as the “Hardass T.A.” Nesta had heard her peers complaining about his grading on more than one occasion. It was common knowledge that he rarely gave students any feedback on their essays but when he did, it was brutal. It was practically unheard of to receive higher than a C from Tomas.

Nesta never got below a B+, though. And though she’d never spoken with him, Tomas always gave her detailed feedback on her papers, more so than any student.

So that afternoon, she emailed him.

Tomas –

My name is Nesta Archeron and I am a student in a class you T.A. in, ENG-403 Section 003. I have a couple questions regarding the paper that was assigned on September 28th. Are you available to meet after class? It would be much appreciated.

Nesta –

Thank you for contacting me. I would love to help you one-on-one. I’ve noticed the work you hand in, and it is spectacular. Your writing is sophisticated, and you have such potential. Coming from someone who has been in the publishing business for years now, I know several companies who would publish your work. Perhaps I can mention your name the next time I meet with them. How does tomorrow work? We can walk to the library together, maybe grab a cup of coffee (on me). Let me know.

Tomas –

Thank you. That works for me. I’ll see you tomorrow.

----------------------------------

“Don’t forget to finish up those essays! They’re due on October sixth, and I won’t be accepting anything that’s turned in late. Yes, Mr. Vanserra, I’m looking at you.”

Students snickered as they filed out of the lecture hall. Nesta grabbed her backpack and made her way down the stairs to the front of the room. Tomas had his own desk in the corner where he chimed in during class discussions.

He was already smiling at her when she approached.

“Hi, Nesta,” he greeted her. He was in the midst of packing his things. “Are you ready to head out?” She nodded.

Tomas had the charm of the boy next door. His dirty blonde hair was cropped short, eyes crystal blue, and he wore an easy smile. It was hard to imagine that this was the guy who gave students Fs for not having a cover page for their essay.

"Did you want to grab a cup of coffee?" Tomas asked her as they made their way out of the classroom. He shot her a smirk "Like I said, I'll pay."

Is he flirting with me?

Nesta prayed to the gods he wasn't. Sure, he was cute and all, but she had no interest in a relationship of any kind. Including a one night stand.

Perhaps I can use that to my advantage...

Nesta dismissed the thought immediately. There was no way in hell she would flirt with her T.A. to ensure a high GPA. She wasn't going to sleep her way to the top. That's not how Nesta did things.

A little flirting never hurt anyone.

She groaned inwardly and shut out that train of thoughts.

Tomas and Nesta chatted while they trudged to the library, backpacks full of textbooks in tow. Much to Nesta’s dismay, he fired question after question at her. Tomas asked about her family to which she miraculously deflected, about her journey to become a writer, and her ambitions. Luckily, Nesta was a pro at this sort of thing, so she simply responded to every question with a question of her own. Not the most subtle approach, but it worked.

The library was teeming with students when they pushed through the doors. Pryth U’s library was a sight to behold. Its foyer was ornate with hand-painted murals, the ceiling stretching far above them. They hopped on the elevator to the third floor. When the doors opened, Nesta inhaled the sweet scent of old books. The bookcases reached the ceiling, thus requiring a rolling ladder in every stack. When Nesta and Elain had toured the campus before the semester began, Elain was quick to jump on the ladder and sing “Be Our Guest.” Her voice was horribly off key. They both burst into laughter, clutching their stomachs until the librarian found and scolded them.

Nesta was pretty sure Elain hadn't stepped foot in the library since.

“Okay,” Tomas said, setting his belongings on a corner desk. He grinned at her. “Ready to be tortured?”

Nesta offered a less than enthusiastic smile. “Let’s do it.”

---------------------------------

After a couple hours of grueling studying, Nesta hurried to the coffee shop on campus. It was five o’clock and she hadn’t had a cup of coffee since the morning. If she didn’t get caffeine in the next ten minutes, Nesta wouldn’t function properly.

The meeting with Tomas went well; he was certainly a helpful resource to have. He'd even offered to meet with Nesta again to prepare for the next big assignment, to which she graciously accepted. There may have been batting of the lashes involved.

Nesta pulled her wool scarf tighter around her neck. Even with a peacoat and a hat, she was still freezing. She let out a sigh of relief when she entered the coffee shop, grateful for the inviting warmth.

That gratefulness disappeared when she looked at the line.

It was at least a dozen people long. Nesta let out a frustrated groan, managing to put a tamper on her anger and hauled her ass to the back of the line.

After a couple minutes of drooling over the scent of fresh coffee beans, she felt a tap on her shoulder from behind.

“Nesta?” a sultry voice asked. The familiar husk in her words had Nesta turning around to see Amren standing behind her. She was staring up at Nesta through her long lashes, a smirk playing on her face. Nesta couldn’t help but admire her feral beauty: chin length hair, angular face, dark and smooth skin, and exquisite makeup.

“Hi, Amren,” Nesta said blandly. “I didn’t know you attended Pryth U.”

“I don’t,” she snorted. “I wouldn’t last one week in college. This is the best coffee around, and I don’t mind driving twenty minutes out of my way.”

Another coffee snob. Interesting.

“I’m impressed that you even remember my name. I thought you always zoned out during the dinners.”

Nesta huffed out a laugh, and a hint of surprise flashed on Amren’s face. It was gone a second later.

“It’s tempting whenever Rhysand opens his mouth, trust me,” Nesta replied dryly. “But I have my ways.”

Amren’s eyes lit up with amusement. “Oh, I’m going to like you.”

--------------------------------

That evening, Nesta strolled back to her apartment with a steaming cup of coffee and Amren’s phone number.

It was quiet when she unlocked the door, but the living room light was on. As Nesta dropped her heaving backpack and padded to the kitchen, she noticed Elain sprawled out on the couch, her nose buried in her phone.

“Did you eat already?” Nesta called out as she rummaged through the cabinets. She dug through a shelf for pasta, which was buried under Elain’s many baking ingredients.

When Elain didn’t answer after a couple seconds, Nesta poked her head into the living room. She was still scrolling through her phone, the faintest smile on her rosy face.

“Hello? Earth to Elain?”

Silence. Nesta groaned in frustration. Rounding the overstuffed sofa, she assaulted Elain’s feet with her hands.

Elain’s entire body jerked as Nesta tickled her, pained laughs escaping her mouth. Elain was easily the most ticklish person Nesta had ever met. It made it easy to get information out of her.

“Stop!” Elain gasped breathlessly, laughing all the same. “Please!”

Nesta ceded and raised her hands up in surrender. Elain scrambled off the couch and narrowed her eyes.

"What the hell, Nesta?”

“I was calling your name for a good five minutes,” Nesta crossed her arms. She nodded her head at Elain’s phone. “Anything interesting?”

Elain’s cheeks flushed, and Nesta gasped.

“Is it a guy?” Her voice was threatening. Nesta had always been protective over Elain.

“A guy? No! That’s… that’s just ludicrous. Why would a guy… I mean -"

Nesta let her sister stumble over her words with amusement. She raised a brow. “Show me what you were looking at then.”

“That’s none of your business!”

Nesta gave her no warning as she leaped at Elain.

Elain squealed in surprise, trying her best to deflect Nesta's tickling. They wrestled on the couch, Elain trying desperately to get her phone out of Nesta's reach. But Nesta was taller and stronger.

“Gerroffme -"

“Just gimme -"

“Argh!”

"Ha!" Nesta stood up and held Elain’s phone in her hand triumphantly. Elain was glaring at her from the couch, her hair sticking every which way.

Nesta looked down at the screen to see the Instagram app open. Then, she read the name of the account.

“You’re stalking Azriel?”

“No! I was just following him.”

All Nesta had to do was give her a stern look.

“Okay, fine," Elain threw her hands up. "I think he’s cute. Are you happy now?”

“No,” Nesta glowered, “I’m not happy. He’s basically Rhysand’s brother. I'm not letting another one of those boys seduce my sister.”

“Seduce?!" Elain choked. She shook her head. "They’re best friends! And what does it matter anyway?”

Nesta shot her a leveled stare. “Rhysand’s an asshole.”

“He’s just protective over Feyre,” Elain explained incredulously. “Like you are of me.”

Nesta considered that for a moment. “Touché. But if Azriel hurts you -"

“Nesta!” Elain exclaimed, an exasperated laugh leaving her lips. “We’ve barely talked. I just think he’s handsome.”

“Does Feyre know?”

That got Elain's attention.

“You can’t tell Feyre.” Elain broke out her puppy face: wide eyes, pouty lips, knitted brows. No one in history had been able to resist her puppy face. Including Nesta.

She huffed out a laugh. “I may be a bitch, but I’m not that cruel.”

Elain threw herself at her sister and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you!"

After promising Elain she wouldn't tell Feyre about her crush for the tenth time, Nesta retreated to her room. She was just about to pull out her notes when her phone buzzed in her back pocket.

I’m supposed to go on a date with this guy tonight, but I just met a hotter guy on my way home. Will you judge me if I ditch the first one?

Nesta looked at the phone number.

Amren.

She could help but let out a small laugh.

When in doubt, pick both.

Both?

Both.

Damn, Nesta, I didn’t realize how savage you are.

A couple moments later, another text came in.

Both is good.

---------------------------------

tag list (let me know if you want to be tagged):

@sjmships @sleeping-and-books @sirgwaines @books-for-sure @blowing-mikey @b00kworm @wineywitch202 @drielecarla @liquifyme @gisellefigue08 @iammissstark @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @loysydark @superspiritfestival @stardelia @sayosdreams @maastrash

#nessian #bittersweet #my writing #masterlist #nesta archeron #acotar #a court of thorns and roses

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honey-andtea1889 · 4 years

Text

The Cold Autumn Evenings (H.S.) Part One

AN: Okay so I really tired making this an MGG fic but it didn’t work out like at all. However, Harry literally fit this so well and I seriously couldn’t resist. I’m currently working on parts two and three already and I’m so excited for y’all to read this! Please don’t forget to request stuff, my asks are open and dry asf!

Summary: Y/N works as a writing intern for a large Publishing Company in London. Harry is her boss and wants her to read a novel he had written, little does she know that the novel has a deeper meaning to Harry.

Warnings: None

Song: The City by Ed Sheeran

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It started like any other day. The November morning was frigid as Y/N had made her way into the publishing office she was interning at with four coffees for her coworkers and boss. The heat of the building caught her as she walked into the small, busy office. Fall in London was always beautiful, but the cold could take its toll more than anything.

Y/N had gotten this internship during Uni, she was lucky enough to be able to get it due to it’s high demand for already set writers. It was one of the more prestigious Publishing Companies to work for. She had applied for the paid internship position earlier in the semester and was very lucky to have gotten in when she did. The company was only hiring one or two interns and with how much Y/N loved writing, she knew she had to push to get the job.

Y/N had been writing stories since she could pick up a pencil. She thoroughly enjoyed writing fantasy stories, however she’s recently grown accustomed to romances. She always knew this was a career path she wanted to take which made her job all the more worth it. She was able to lose herself in her writings, that’s what she loved most about it.

“Thank you Y/N!” Claire, Y/N’s best friend, said as she took the warm beverage from the cup holder.

“No problem! How’s that story going so far? Anything interesting yet?” Y/N asked as she passed out the other coffees.

“Ugh no. Don’t get me wrong, the whole Sci-fi feel of it is cool, but there’s little to no understanding of the plot. Plus no background on the characters at all, and don’t get me started on the vague descriptions of the settings.” Claire groaned as she flopped the packet of paper down on her desk.

“Yikes, sounds rough. What chapter are you on?” Y/N asked.

“Chapter five.. I don’t want to toss it just yet because there’s some potential to it but seriously, this guy couldn’t have tried a little harder?”

Y/N chuckled as she settled into her desk, getting herself ready for the day that was planned. She had a set schedule for each and every day. She would answer calls, take stories back to her boss, and so on. Y/N was happy that she landed this internship but she wanted to show off some of her writings. She knew she wasn’t terrible with her stories and there’s always room for improvement, but she wanted to show what she could do. She had actually brought it up to her boss, Harry, but he never had the chance to read it simply because he was too busy with other clients.

Harry always took on a lot of work. He would read almost 4 stories a day! It was astonishing to see that someone who runs one of the top publishing companies still had time to make himself a meal in between all of the work he was doing. That was an admirable trait about him. Y/N knew that asking Harry to take time to read something she had written was asking a lot, to which she never really tried.

Y/N had also tried reaching out to Claire but she felt as though reading a friend’s work was biased, like she already knew she would go through and publish it without reading it all. Y/N didn’t want to just be given that kind of credibility. She needed to work for it and the only way to even remotely come close to that was for her boss to read it or for her to go to an opposing firm which could cause her to lose the internship and everything she had worked for up to this point. So with that in mind, Y/N left it alone.

There was a stack of papers on Y/N’s desk for Harry, contracts and other stories that needed to be read over again for editing. She sighed as she picked up the stack and walked over to his office, slightly knocking on the mahogany door.

“Come in.” Harry said as he pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

“Good morning Mr. Styles! I have your coffee and here are some things that were left for you. There’s a contract or two for the last couple authors you signed and some stories that came in this morning.” She said, settling everything in its proper place.

“Thank you, Love. Don’t know if I could do this job without ya!” Harry smiled, his thick English accent melting into the words he spoke.

Y/N blushed and left the office with a skip in her step.

In a sense, Y/N was Harry’s assistant. Though that wasn’t necessarily her job title, it was basically the job of it. She didn’t mind it though. She actually loved the job, only because Harry made work so much better.

There’s no denying that Harry is attractive, anyone with a pair of eyes could see that. His dark brown hair flopped on his head elegantly, a few loose curls falling down around his face sometimes. He had these bright green eyes that could captivate anyone with a single stare and these plushy, raspberry colored looking lips that looked so inviting. His dimples that appeared whenever he smiled were some of the cutest things people have seen. His stature was also something that caught the attention of people. He was tall, just the right height to show some intimidation. He had broad shoulders that had Y/N weak in her knees nearly every day and his suits always clung onto his built form, driving every woman in the office mad with how great he looked. Hell, the word attractive doesn’t do the man any justice.

Y/N flopped on her desk and began her work. She spent most of her day answering emails and printing off agreements and such for incoming clients. It wasn’t the most fun, but she was able to stop into Harry’s office a few times so she wasn’t too bummed.

“Well I’m sorry Mr. Thompson, but unfortunately, this was already written and made into a play on broadway. I can’t really do that considering it’s plagiarism and I can get into a lot of trouble with that.” Harry sighed as he rubbed his forehead.

Y/N giggled as she set the last set of stories on his desk. He shook his head and hung up the phone, rubbing his eyes and groaning out of frustration. Y/N smiled and sat down on the chair in front of his desk.

“What was that all about?” She asked.

“Some very estranged gentleman wanted me to publish a story about two witches in a form of High school setting.” Harry said as he leaned back in his chair.

“Wait...isn’t that Wicked?” Y/N asked as she crossed her legs.

“Exactly my point. Do you know what he wanted to call it?”

“Oh man, this should be interesting.”

“He wanted to call it ‘Haunted High’. Sorry but I’m not going to be sued because of his lack of creativity and effort.” Harry chuckled.

Y/N giggled and ran her fingers through her hair. Harry smiled at the girl in front of him.

He did have a form of admiration for Y/N. He loved how hard she worked and her drive for the job. He enjoyed having her around the office as well. Her energy was something sweet to behold and he adored her personality. She was always so happy and bubbly whenever he saw her. Harry was a little nervous when she was brought in from Uni. He didn’t want to overwhelm her with everything they did but she’s been working like a champ. He was so lucky to have someone like her to help him out.

“I was going to head to lunch here pretty soon, did you need me for anything before I go?” Y/N asked as she stood from the chair.

“I think I’m all set at the moment, love. Thank you.” Harry smiled as he turned to his computer.

Y/N smiled as she exited the small room and headed to the elevator. Claire joined her as they went down to the main floor. The pair walked to a small cafe that was down the street from the Publishing building. They found a few seats over by the big window and happily sat down for their lunch hour.

“So, have you tried to get Mr. Styles to read your book yet?” Claire asked as she skimmed over the menu.

“Not yet. He’s got a lot coming up and not to mention the I-couldn’t-tell-you how many new stories to read every day. I don’t wanna add to it, ya know? He doesn’t need the extra stress.” Y/N explained.

“Though I do understand it, I still think you should try. I’m sure he’ll make time for you.” Claire winked.

Y/N chuckled as she continued looking over the menu.

Claire had a preconceived notion that Harry had a bit of a crush on Y/N and vice versa. Anyone could see the slight attraction between the two and it was only a matter of time before either one made a move on the other. Even Y/N’s mother thought that they’d make a cute couple!

She thought about what Claire had said. Would Harry really make time for her? And if so, why? She’s only his assistant, it’s not like they were the closest of friends or something. Y/N wanted some of her stories published, but was she ready to actually pull through with it?

After lunch, Claire and Y/N returned to the office to finish up their work day. Y/N sat at her desk and contemplated on talking to Harry about her stories. She built up some courage and made her way to his office. She knocked on the door and heard a faint ‘come in’ from the other side. As she entered, she could see Harry with his glasses on, indulged in one of the stories that was brought in earlier. She cleared her throat, Harry picking his head up and smiling at her.

“Hello, petal! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Harry asked, looking back down at the packet.

“M-Mr.Styles....I was wondering..I-I know you’re incredibly b-busy with other stories a-and clients b-but...I was curious that...m-maybe you could look at..m-my story that I’ve wr-written?” Y/N stumbled on her words.

Harry looked up at the girl in front of his desk. She was playing with the buttons of her blouse, indicating that she was nervous to ask, as though her mumbling and stuttering didn’t already give that away. He smiled at her. Harry had a feeling that Y/N knew it might not happen due to how busy he always is, but she looked so sweet with asking and she’s probably worked so hard on it. She wants him to look over her work. In his heart, he’s honored. It’s not every day where one of your employees wants you to take a look into their daily lives. Y/N wanted his opinion and his judgement on something she holds near and dear to her.

“Alright, Y/N. Since you’re so eager for me to see it, bring it in tomorrow and I’ll take a look.” Harry said.

Y/N could feel the weight lift off of her shoulders.

“You’re kidding.” She coughed.

“Y/N, when it comes to doing my job, I don’t do anything of the sort. I will do you the favor of reading it, however this does not guarantee that it will be published. You’re still rather young so I am not having my hopes super high for it.” Harry sighed, closing the packet and setting it in his briefcase.

Y/N felt the slight pang in her chest from his words. He didn’t think her writing would be good. She was hoping he would be a little more excited about it but it seems as though she was wrong.

“Yes Mr. Styles, I understand. I will have it on your desk tomorrow morning.” Y/N whispered.

She exited the office as quickly as she could and slumped over to her desk.

How could he think her book would suffice to all of the other bullshit he was reading? It just didn’t make sense to her. She knew she had to prove him wrong. She pulled out her computer and began looking for her best story. She found the one she had written in her 3rd year of Uni and printed it out. She wrote on a sticky note for Harry to see that it was one of her best pieces.

Harry was leaving his office when he saw her making a few notes on her calendar. She looked up and straightened up her posture, becoming a little nervous that he might ask if she was upset by his comment that was made a few minutes prior.

“I’m heading home now, I’m going to be a bit late tomorrow morning. I have a meeting with corporate. They’ve been on my arse about how things have gone here and why we haven’t met our quota for this quarter. Whenever you get your story, please leave it on my desk and I will try to read it as soon as I get in.” Harry stated, looking down at his phone.

“Yes sir. Is there anything you need me to do tonight?” Y/N had asked.

“N-..actually yes. There’s an extra novel in the top drawer of my desk that needs to be looked at. I can’t get to it at all, is there any way you could look at it?” He asked.

Y/N nodded. He bid his goodbyes and left the building. Y/N entered the office with her book in hand, placing it on the center of his desk neatly. Presentation is key. Before she left, Y/N grabbed the novel that Harry was talking about and exited his office. She looked at the title and stopped in her tracks.

His Beloved, Her Heart by Harry Styles.

He wanted her to read his novel. Just like hers, there was a note attached to the packet of paper.

Y/N, I know I was a bit harsh with my words earlier to which I apologize for and this is probably the last thing you want to do tonight but I need a second opinion. I trust your judgement and would appreciate any feedback you give. Xx H

She traced over his handwriting delicately and felt a smile creep on her face. She soon packed up her things and scampered back to her small flat on the South side of London. When she returned home, Y/N threw her shoes into the closet closest to the door and entered her kitchen. She heard the small pitter patter of her french bulldog, Sam. Petting the sweet pooch, she started up her coffee machine and went into her bedroom to change into some comfier clothes.

Y/N snuggled into her couch with her coffee in hand and began reading Harry’s story. Within the first few chapters, she was hooked. The plot of two people meeting in Central Park and falling in love during Christmas time was enticing, not to mention the beautiful descriptions of the settings, emotions, and character development was captivating.

She never really pegged Harry as a writer. From what she’s heard around the office, Harry was more for reading poetry and writing music rather than stories. Rumor has it that he didn’t want the job of running the company in the first place. However, from what Y/N was reading, those statements were more wrong than anything. She loved how he worded certain paragraphs and how delicate the characters were made to be. It almost felt as though she was reading the script to her favorite Hallmark Christmas movie.

She did note a few small things like grammar/spelling mistakes (happens to the best of us, really), questioned why he wanted to end a certain chapter the way he did, and so on. It was almost one in the morning before she noticed how late it was.

With that in mind, Y/N headed to bed, preparing for more reading tomorrow.

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself. i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he? like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it. So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit. That’s yet another way to put it. Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today? cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad! Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything. --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects. That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place. The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers. This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth? or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be. :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2. So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations. Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for? Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues. And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit. Karkat’s limited lifespan. As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation. We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we? >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus. I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason. Which it won’t! Right??? >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck. I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry. God damnit. SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!! *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends. That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true. What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this? It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm. Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy? Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff. He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much. <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!! Point taken. Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome. I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up. :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice. Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat. See y’all next time!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Breath and Blood #Light and Void

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rareandbeautifulthing · 5 years

Text

Hey fellow fanpeople! I’m hoping some of you might want to participate in a study about fandoms I’ve gotten the opportunity to do. I’m at Uni to become a high school English teacher, and having been a fanfic reader/writer for years, I’m excited to use it in my classroom. I’m doing a research project about fandoms, so if you’d be willing to participate, the link (and a lot more information) is here: Lessons from Fandom It’s just a questionnaire that mostly asks about your experience in fandoms, and a little bit about your experiences in high school (if you have any). Your responses can’t be traced back to you, so no worries on that end - the IP address tracker on the questionnaire is even disabled - so no one (including me) will know whether or not you participate or what your answers are.

By the way, minors typically wouldn’t be able to participate in research without parental consent, but since some of us-myself included-are more ourselves online than we can be in person (and because one of the things I love about fandom is that it’s not ageist), I’ve gotten a waiver for this so that anyone who wants to participate can, without having to involve parents. (Though you’re welcome to tell your parents about it, of course!) However, due to Federal Trade Commission regulations, you must be at least 13 years old to participate.

All ages and levels of fandom experience are welcome. The only prerequisite is that you consider yourself to be in a fandom. Since a few of the questions are about high school experiences, experience as a student in a high school classroom will help, but it’s not necessary for participation.

Like I said, no one (including me) will know whether or not you do it, so no pressure. But I really hope to get enough participants to move forward with my project, so please consider it! I think you’ll find it fun. It’s like a whole string of asks :)

I’ll post the whole consent document below the cut - it’s also the information you’ll see when you first click on the link to the questionnaire, which is here: Lessons from Fandom

If you have any questions, DM me or email me or my supervising professor (contact info is in the consent document below).

Also, if you reblog this I will love you forever. A lot of you have a lot more followers than I do, so it would help me out tremendously. The more participation I have, the better.

Department of Research Compliance

9201 University City Boulevard, Charlotte, NC 28223-0001

Consent to be Part of a Research Study

Title of the Project: Lessons from Fandom

Principal Investigator: Amy Crew, University of North Carolina - Charlotte

Faculty Advisor: JuliAnna Ávila, PhD, University of North Carolina - Charlotte

You are invited to participate in a research study. Participation in this research study is voluntary. The information provided is to help you decide whether or not to participate. If you have any questions, please ask.

Important Information You Need to Know

The purpose of this study is to learn how individual participants in online fandoms perceive the power dynamics (i.e. who is in charge/who has the most power?) of those fandoms and in high school classrooms. This study will allow the researchers to gain more clarity into how fandoms operate, how various elements of fandoms are perceived, and which aspects are most significant to participants, which will to guide their conclusions regarding fandom practices being brought into high school classrooms.

You will be asked to complete a questionnaire which consists of 17 questions that relate to your experiences in fandom and in high school. Most of the questions require written responses.

If you choose to participate, it will require approximately 30 minutes of your time. It may take you more or less time, depending on how thoroughly you choose to answer the questions.

It is possible you may experience emotional discomfort while completing the questionnaire, especially if you have had negative experiences in either fandoms or high school. Apart from the question asking about your age, you may skip any question that makes you uncomfortable or that you do not wish to answer.

While completing this questionnaire will not provide any direct benefit to you, it could benefit adolescents in the future by encouraging classroom environments which are based on mutual respect and creativity.

If you choose not to participate, you may exit the questionnaire at any time without submitting it. The questionnaire is set up so that there will be no identifying information collected other than age and preferred pronouns (we ask your pronouns so that we can use them correctly if we reference a comment you make in our report on the study). IP addresses will not be tracked, so even a computer expert will not be able to determine that you completed the questionnaire or what your answers are. Neither the investigators nor anyone else will know whether you have completed the questionnaire, or be able to track your responses back to you.

Please read this information and ask any questions you may have before you decide whether to participate in this research study.

Why are we doing this study?

The purpose of this study is to learn more about how fandoms “work” so that aspects of fandom can potentially be applied in high school classrooms. The principal investigator has been an active participant in various fandoms for over ten years, and is a high school educator (currently student teaching). She would like to learn more about how, and whether, some of the practices of fandom could be used in high school classrooms. The results of this research will be analyzed and discussed in a chapter of an upcoming book on critical digital literacy and education.

Why are you being asked to be in this research study?

You are being asked to be in this study because you are a participant in fandom and (ideally) have had experience in high school.

What will happen if you take part in this study?

If you take part in this study, your responses will become a part of the growing body of knowledge about critical digital literacy and participatory (fandom) culture. However, your responses will not be traced back to you. We will not collect any identifying data about you other than your age and preferred pronouns (so that we can use correct pronouns if we reference a comment you make). Your IP address will not be tracked.

Clause for minors

If you are under the age of consent (which varies depending on location, but is commonly age 18), it is important that you are aware that typically, your parents or guardians would need to provide consent for you to take part in research. However, the investigators understand that many minors take part in fandoms without their parents’ or guardians’ knowledge, and that some of the content of those fandoms or the texts they are based on may not be acceptable to some parents/guardians. For this reason, and because participation in this study is considered “minimal risk” (i.e. it is highly unlikely that answering these questions will cause you any harm), the investigators have obtained a waiver of parental consent. This means that, should you choose to participate, you may do so without your parents’/guardians’ knowledge or consent. If you choose to share your participation with your parents/guardians, that is entirely up to you. To comply with Federal Trade Commission regulations, however, participants must be age 13 or older.

How will my information be protected?

We plan to publish the results of this study in a book. To protect your privacy we will not include any information that could identify you. The confidentiality of the research data will be maintained because we have disabled IP address tracking in this questionnaire and will not ask you any questions which could identify you other than your age and preferred pronouns. You may choose to indirectly identify yourself (for instance by mentioning the title of a fanfiction piece you have published), but this data will not be included in the publication of the research. (In the example given, the investigators would change the name of your fanfiction piece or reword your statement so that the title is not included.) If you indirectly identify yourself, the principal investigator may recognize your identity through her own participation in fandom; however, this information will not be disclosed to anyone else.

How will my information be used after the study is over?

After this study is complete, the information could be used for future research studies or distributed to another investigator for future research studies, or may be used in future publications or presentations, without additional informed consent. Again, there will be no identifying information attached to the information. The data we share will NOT include information that could identify you other than age, country of residence, and your preferred pronouns (for instance, we may say something along the lines of “A nineteen-year-old in the United States who is a participant in a fandom based on a fantasy YA novel said…”).

Who can profit from this study?

The investigators may profit financially from the sale of publications which include information from this study.

What are my rights if I take part in this study?

It is up to you to decide to be in this research study. Participating in this study is voluntary. Even if you decide to be part of the study now, you may change your mind and stop at any time. Other than the question about your age, you do not have to answer any questions you do not want to answer. It is acceptable to submit your questionnaire without answering all the questions. You may exit out of the questionnaire at any time without submitting it. Once you have submitted it, you will not be able to un-submit and we will not be able to withdraw your responses since we will not know who you are. The only way to retract your responses will be to contact the investigators and reveal which responses were yours. Should you do this, your responses will no longer be confidential; however, the investigators will delete the data you have requested to the best of their ability.

Who can answer my questions about this study and my rights as a participant?

For questions about this research, you may contact the principal investigator Amy Crew at [email protected] or via direct message in Tumblr [Tumblr username provided] or Twitter [Twitter username provided], and/or her faculty advisor Dr. JuliAnna Ávila at [email protected].

If you have questions about your rights as a research participant, or wish to obtain information, ask questions, or discuss any concerns about this study with someone other than the researcher(s), please contact the Office of Research Compliance at 704-687-1871 or [email protected].

@jsmae @sharkmartini @thehoneyedhufflepuff @pitchonthepitch @pitchpatronus @carryonbazpitch @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @dancingwdinosaurs @manicmagicat @vkelleyart @basic-banshee @simonsrosebud @kinkybazsmolsnow @magicath04 @basilton-tyrannus @krisrix @bazzledazzlepitches @snowbazshipper @moonllotus @one-grimm-bitch @alex-claremont-diaz @ineffablehorsemen @aziraphale-crowley-are-ineffable @pipsqueakparker @angelsfalling16 @penpanoply @neck-mole @the-ronan-cycle @warriorbeeofthesea @dreamkinglynch @sharkandegg

#fandom

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sporadic-writer · 4 years

Text

Welcome to the Neighborhood pt. 3

Harrison x American!reader (nothing hella specific other than mentioning the states, so try pretending if you aren’t American. If not.. sorry?)

Warnings: same as before, swearing, mentions of weed and alcohol (because I enjoy both safely and responsibly), and um I think that’s it.

Note: I made this a Harrison fic because I feel we need more of those in the world. Also, this fic doesn’t have like, an idk.. overarching story/theme yet? other than reader and Harrison stuff. Lastly, this fic is a result of bits of writing courage during a writer’s block mess. I have a better concept for the next chapter. So sorry this could count as a filler or fun simple read.

Part 1 here Part 2 here

°•●•°●°•●•°●°•●•°●°•●•°

"What about just a casual cookout?" This was the 3rd idea he has asked out loud.

Sam and Harry watched Harrison all but pace as he spit balled ideas to have their new neighbor over. The whole morning he was thinking through stuff to do that wasn't too much for quarentine. It was starting to end, but he didn't want to push anything.

The other men in his presence groaned. "Jesus just ask her to come hang out! No agenda, just invite her here to hang out and then you can get to know her!" Sam suggested in a shout back to his friend. "Stop fucking moping about here like a nervous puppy." That last statement was a quieter grumble.

Tuwaine nodded in agreement. "You're starting to get annoying Haz. We all like her, so having her here is fine. Then you buddy up to her in the process." This seemed to help the blonde settle.

"Harry! You talked to her a little more earlier today. Any info I can use to break the ice one on one?" Harrison looked to his friend hopefully.

The man in question rolled his eyes. "We barely talked. Her room and bathroom windows are right next to my room. We talked because she apologized thinking her music was loud and coming into mine. Then we made small talk a little before she went to the store."

An idea sparked in Harrison's head about conversation ideas next time he saw you. Music was always a great ice breaker. He remembered you wore a Green Day shirt one time, so that's something. Also, he has heard you singing to yourself on your deck; some Irish band his mother listened to sometimes. He mentally scanned his music selection in his room. Just then he heard a car door shut outside. He asked if it was you and Tom nodded yes after peaking out the window. He calmly dashed outside with Tuwaine and Sam following seeing what the commotion was. Plus, Sam left stuff in his car.

Walking towards your front door you heard your neighbor's open and noticed Harrison looking right at you. You looked over with wide at men rushing towards you, but smiled and greeted them once seeing their familliar faces.

"Hey guys!" You attempted a small wave with your things in your hands.

Sam and Tuwaine nodded and waved in repsonse. Harrison looked a little flustered. "Hey y/n. Um I had a question for you."

Your smile didn't help his nervousness. "Shoot." You replied while walking to your door, then working on unlocking it.

Upon no response, you looked at him to see him open and close him mouth once, and just had a slight 'umm' noise come out. It was sweet. There was a simplistic charm about people getting slightly nervous over being around othee people they were into. You were no fool, you had seem him peak glances at you through his yard and window upstairs. Now you watched him try to gain courage to simply ask you a question. You thought about doing it yourself, but you are a tad old school and see if the guy will get to it. Once impatient, you'll ask him. But now you watched him as his hair moved lightly in the breeze of the cool London air. Not to mention he looked handsome as ever in his sweater. Wonder if it is as soft as it looks...?

"Y/N! What are you doing tomorrow love?" Twuaine bit the bullet for Harrison since he couldn't get a full question out. You snapped out of your trance. Luckily the distance helped hide your embarrassment.

She checked the date on her phone lockscreen. "Umm I work tomorrow 7 to like 4. So after that a shower, maybe a nap, then nothing. Why?"

Rather than the one who asked reply, Harrison finally jumped in and spoke. "Want to come over tomorrow? We were going have dinner and watch the match and relax one more night for sure before things start up again for us." Tom just got final shooting schedules and he knew things would soon pick up for him most likely in following. As much as he loved being home, doing nothing, he did miss working. However, of course it happens after desiring more time with you.

"I would love to! What time?" The little bounce thing you did to balance your groceries and to open your door was precious to him.

"Um come by any time after you're home from work."

Sam piped in saying, "Match starts at 5 or 6 I think, around then is perfect."

"Awesome! Thanks for the invite guys. Also hey, do you guys know good pet stores around here? Sorry if that's random but I am running out of supplies and can't mooch off work.. new job and all."

"'Fraid not y/n. Sorry we don't know where Tom gets his dog stuff."

Harrison nodded in agreement. "Yeah and my dog is at home and my mum gets everything usually."

She shrugged. "No worries. Internet search it is. Well I gotta put these away. I'll see you guys tomorrow." They said their fairwells to her and did as she did, went inside. She didn't notice this time how her admirer watched her to see she got in alright.

After watching you get in your house, Sam shut the car door he opened earlier with his hat in hand, and Harrison sighed. He turned to his friends.

“I could have asked her over myself.” His tone suggested he knew he couldn’t. But that didn’t stop him from sulking back into his home. “I’m the one into her, I could have asked her over.”

“Mhmm sure Haz, an hour later after leaving your mouth open to catch flies. She’s coming over. Get over it and enjoy that your painful attempt was cut short.”

On that note he thanked his lucky stars and went into his home, not before hearing music come out of your open windows. He shazamed it and made a mental note to use it as a potential ice breaker tomorrow. Man he felt like a 15 year old.

*time skip*

It was around 4:30ish when Harrison saw your car pull into your driveway and you get out. Even with your hair up after a day of physical labor, uniform London Zoo shirt covered in dirt and a couple bleach stains, and basic khaki shorts; he still thought you looked pretty as ever. He was a little shocked you didn't look totally exhausted remembering you started work at 7am. That just impressed him more. Now he only had to wait an hour or so for you to be over and hanging out with him. Ground work would be set. He made sure his shirt, pants, and hair were in good sorts before relaxing on the couch with Sam. About an later, he heard the door open and a familiar voice greet everyone. However, not the voice he was expecting.

"Sis? What are you doing here?" He sat up as she rolled her eyes.

"Hello to you div."

He rolled his eyes right back. "Not what I meant. Just wasn't expecting you to drop in." He loves Charlotte, but didn't need her when a girl he's trying to get with is supposed to come by very soon.

"Harry has a camera for my friend to borrow for a class of hers. Why? You guys got plans or something? Look at me give a shit as I interrupt this rager." She moved about the house looking for the Holland she spoke of. He was about to blow her off and get her out but Tuwaine appeared out of nowhere to be a stellar friend.

"He does have plans actually. Tryin' to get with our fit American neighbor. Got all worked up and could barely ask her over tonight. He didn't actually, but not the point." His sister, who still hasn't left, smirks at him. “He’s into her and this is him ‘laying the groundwork’ or something.”

"Really?? Aw look he's blushing!" She poked his cheek. “Relax though, I’m just gonna find Harry or his cam, whichever comes first, and be out. Alright?”

Thanking his lucky stars he was about to tell her to just get on with it, but the doorbell rang. Harrison and his sister made eye contact, he pleaded with his to stay, hers glimmered with mischief, and they were off! Both siblings dashed for the door while Sam and Tuwaine enjoyed the show. The luck didn’t last, because Charlotte reached the door first. She kicked away the eager man and smiled as the she greeted who she assumed was the American girl her brother fancies.

Harrison saw you were turned around as you began to speak, looking at a car that honked for some reason, and as you entered your head was still looking down a tad. “Sorry I’m late, late-ish anyway. Rolled one after work, enjoyed it after the shower, then passed out for an unexpected nap - ah your new!” She locked eyes with his sister and if he could frame a mental image he would. Y/N looks like she wanted the ground to swallow her, and needed saving. She was clearly still a little buzzed, and a joint was sticking out of her beanie. “Well not new, but new to me I mean. Um ignore that first impression.. Hi! Y/F/N Y/L/N, their neighbor.” As she spoke, the hand holding a bottle of vodka tucked the joint discreetly further into the hat. Smooth, sorta..

“Charlotte, Harrison’s sister. Pleasure to meet you. That lot you speak of told me a touch about you. From the states ey? Very fun, caught Hazzy’s eye so watch out. I love him but he’s a bit dodgy on getting things done sooner than later.” She winked at her brother while the newest addition to the house just stood there taking it all in. “Now if you excuse me I shall find Harry’s camera.”

Harrison watched you follow his sister, who he will get back at later, out of the room. You still looked a tad surprised, but smiled through it anyway. Then you made eye contact with him and smiled brighter before saying, “I brought drinks!”

°•●•°●°•●•°●°•●•°●°•●•°

Taglist (crossed out means it didn't take yours): @jillanaholland @averyfosterthoughts @sarah-m-limelight-2007 @astridcommings

As always, like and reblog if you want. Hit me up if you want to be tagged or not, or if I forgot to tag you. Thanks for reading and enjoying! Lmk of there are any errors or stuff like that.

#harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield fluff #harrison osterfield fanfiction #harrison x reader #harrison x american!reader #harrison osterfield x fem!reader #harrison osterfield x american!reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland #peter parker blurb #peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker fanart #peter parker fanfiction

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amazingorangedangantrash · 4 years

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The only ending everyone seems to ignore is v3 because it’s just... it’s just a mess.

How do feel about this game survivors? And do you think that everyone woke up from the simulator or tv show like sdr2 or only the survivors?

Hoo boy...

Honestly nonny, having only finished the dang thing yesterday I... don't know.

(I kinda went off into a spiel, so feel free to skip to the part where I talk about survivors and what I think happens next)

I understand the mixed response a LOT. I mean- I see what they were going for. The 4th wall break was cool, and the (sorta?) reappearance of past characters was pretty damn awesome. I like that the creators are definitely self aware- and there's a kind of 'learn to laugh at yourself' sort of thing.

On the other hand it can almost seem a little too mocking?

I get the whole yaknow. 'Fictional characters are aware they're fictional and rebel against their creators' thing but- like-?

As I mentioned before, thing is, Tsumugi is not us? We aren't exactly intentionally cruel? There's a BIG difference between the kind of fiction in our world and in their world.

What does Tsumugi call it? "Real fiction"?. Yeah- thing is- we don't have that. We don't have the technology for it, and I certainly hope we wouldn't abandon ethics for it either!!! We can't have 'real' fiction, because in our world, all fiction is fake! The closest you have is fiction about real people, perhaps, but- that's not even remotely the same thing?

So it does come across as a little... um- preachy.

We're supposed to represent the audience but... like- the audience fucking suck! What was that they said during the argument armament? "This guy should have died instead of Kaede!" Like- fucking hell. Imagine saying that to someone, who can HEAR you say it, and who's MURDER you could potentially watch unfold before your very eyes as a result of YOUR actions. I mean- look how empathetic some of us are to ACTUAL fictional characters. Could you imagine if we were in a similar situation to the outside world in V3???

Maybe it's because I keep imagining the v3 cast as like- sentient AI, instead of "just fiction". Because I can't imagine anyone being so sadistic or apathetic otherwise.

So uh- yeah. I don't... know how I feel about that. It's not- very satisfying?

With sdr2, the whole "none of this is real, the killing game is all a lie, you're in a fake world!" felt like a relief ! Whereas here it's more like- "what?? It's all fake? What the hell was the point then?!"

"Nothing matters!" vs "nothing matters..."

The whole HOPE VS DESPAIR, FUTURE VS PAST thing worked, because, well, it's something we can all understand. We have all felt hope and we have all felt despair. We've all, at some point in our lives, felt stuck in the past, unable to or scared to move on.

(Hey- some of us still feel like that now, even).

The first game was very simple- hope and despair. Still relatable, but fairly basic- effective to set up the foundation for the follow up.

The second game made things a little more complicated. Sometimes it's more complicated then just- choosing between Hope and Despair. We refuse to fall into Despair, but we can't just blindly have Hope.

So we choose the Future. We can't promise it'll be a good one OR a bad one. But whatever happens- we need to move on. The only way we can make things change is by making that choice, to create our OWN future.

V3 felt very... complex. It started to get kind of... uh... philosophical? And- don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with that. It just... it kind of shifted from TRUTH VS LIE to FICTION VS REALITY. And whilst the latter definitely sounds interesting- I don't really know if I liked the direction they took with it-? I wish they'd kept the focus on TRUTH VS LIE a lot more.

(Fiction and Reality are like extensions of Lie and Truth but- only to a certain extent? Really?)

It's kind of harder to get into the final fight in V3 because... what are you fighting? The outside world? I mean- I can't speak for the rest of you, but as far as I'm aware I'm not a fictional character.

(If I am- then wow someone's a reallly bad writer huh?)

I can relate to Hope. I can relate to Future.

I can't relate to Fiction.

I THOUGHT maybe the message was a warning of the dangers of escapism ('please dont go as far as to erase your own personality just to be a part of a type of fiction you like' definitely seems fitting for this fandom)- but the message "fiction has the power to change the world!" kinda contradicts that. I mean- I do like that message, but- I don't like the idea of a series about killing games being heavily influential-!

The whole problem was that people grew so obsessed with the series that they threw away their lives! Is that not the point you should be focusing on-!!!!

The outside world in this universe fucking sucks. So they changed their mind, big DEAL! that's not comforting knowing they let this shit continue for 53 seasons-! I mean, maybe Makoto and Hajime were all 100% fictional, but at some point they started putting real people into these games, and everyone was ok with that!

I just-

I'm glad Shuichi got through to them at last but...

Someone said something which resonated with me- "in a vacuum, this is good". Like... on it's own, I thought the ending was great! It was entertaining, for sure. And the whole concept and stuff was unexpected and interesting. You gotta give em points for originality.

The problem comes with it being the 3rd game in a series. (Ignoring UDG I mean-). When a series becomes a Trilogy, you gotta make it good. This is presumably the last game in the (main) series too. And- after the UTTER NARRATIVE DISAPPOINTMENT of dr3- can you blame people for wanting more? People fell in love for THH and SDR2 (and UDG even if its not part of the main series) for a reason- and, for me at least, a biiiig part of that reason was the continued storyline. The last chapter of sdr2 was the hypest shit EVER. when you see glimpses of the previous game bleed into this one, only for it to turn into what's like- a full crossover???? The previous game isn't just mentioned, it's a straight up sequel!!!! I had absolutely no idea Makoto and co would return (i thought the games were separate) so when i saw that they'd be interacting with the new cast- yoooooooooooooooo-!

Hell, even seeing alter ego again made me go WILD.

V3 plays upon these expectations, and subverts them, but... not necessarily in a good way? You- kind of feel cheated? (Idk if you're an avengers fan, but- it's like expecting *Endgame* and instead getting...

Well- Endgame).

The ending isn't bad persay it's just- not quite what one would expect? I can definitely understand why people are disappointed. The problem is, instead of standing alone, you can't help but consider it as part of the series. Individually, I don't think the ending was that weak or bad, but in comparison to the series as a whole?

Meh.

SURVIVORS

(Oh my- I really got off track, oh dear. I'll- get back to what you asked now.)

KEEBO

W H Y

They rllly gonna rub salt in the wound huh?

(Whilst i dont dislike the other survivors, there are a LOT of people i really really wanted to see make it to the end, and it's just the final god damn nail in the coffin to kill off the last of the few characters I came even close to liking the most-)

Killing keebo was dumb

Maki- I liked Maki quite a bit! She's a bit cold, yeah, but I warmed up to her after hearing her backstory.

I found it annoying (if understandable) that no one trusted her at first. I thought it was sweet that her, Kaito and Shuichi had this friendship trio. They really trusted each other- it was very refreshing. I also love me a strong girl. Her romance thing with Kaito was a little... forced. I'd have found it more meaningful if they kept it more subtle/ambiguous (though i suppose they needed smth to use against her in the final trial sooo-).

Himiko-

I-

*sigh*

Ok I'm going to say this once, and once only.

Someoneonthedrteamhasabigthingforlolis

OK! I SAID IT- AND IM NEVER SAYING IT AGAIN

No judgement here of course. Just. Uh. Y-yeah-

(I'm mainly kidding of course, idek if Himiko counts as a loli but-)

I mean... I'm not... the fondest of very small, childish girl characters (Saionji intensifies). I like a bit of childishness in a character but- i mean- it depends.

(I'll never recover from the "seductive whisper" thing from the love suite event

Never.

Never ever.)

Himiko comes across as like An Actual Child at times and at the start it was VERY annoying. Surprisingly, I warmed up to her eventually. I knew in advance she'd be a survivor so i kinda thought "well she's gonna stick around so might as well try to like her". I do appreciate that she underwent a character arc too, and it was sweet to see how she became a more active, determined person. I wish it hadn't taken Tenko's death for her to finally start changing but whatever. She is quite a cute character and after a while became more endearing then annoying.... (for the most part).

Was she in my top 3 picks for a survivor? No.

The top 10 even?

N-no-

I'm glad she's still alive though. SOMEONE damn well needs to be.

Tsumugi- ah. She's not a survivor, is she? I knew well in advance she was the mastermind so I didn't really warm up to her all that much during the final chapters, for obvious reasons.

Shuichi- if shuichi hadn't survived I think that would have been the breaking point for me, honestly.

Overall- uh... they aren't... the ideal picks. Shuichi is the only one I really wanted to see survive, I was neutral towards the others. Tbh I was just happy anyone was alive by the end of that.

Waking up- for the sake of my sanity, I like to think that after the survivors wake up, they threaten to sue and/or maim the shit out of the dr team if they don't start on reanimating their 'dead' friends right fucking now. Surely they gotta keep their consciousness' somewhere in those memories banks right? I mean- what if they ever wanted a "surprise return from the dead" plotline? Surely they gotta keep em somewhere? Right?

Whether or not they reawaken as their in-game or pre-game selves, who knows. Whichever you prefer, I guess. Maybe a mixture of both.

#ahdhsjsjsj #i am Tired ^tm #this makes me sound more disappointed with the ending than i am djskshsjs #im not actually as salty as i sound ok i promise-#im just naturally pessimistic #ironic coming from a makoto stan but wygd #v3 #rambling #thoughts #my post #anon #long #jajakdjsjs i went overboard again oops

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