#even my own subconscious is taking advantage of the fact that i have a shit memory 💀

[graciousdragon]

why can't i ever have weird dreams. my dreams are always some shit that could conceivably actually happen to me and i always end up thinking they actually did happen until i actively think about it and realize "wait that didn't actually happen"

[warblogs17282]

I want to present another idea on how the scene where Blitz talks to his mother could go, and a bit on Blitz's self hatred.

But first, a little background.

It's very clear that Blitz still hates himself immensely for accidentally starting the fire that severely damaged Fizzarolli, and (very heavily implied) that also killed his own mother.

And I have three pieces of evidence that shows just how much Blitz hates himself, with it all tying back to the circus fire.

1: You're already aware of the fact that Blitz blacks out his face in pictures he's in with others, but it goes a bit further than that, he also did that to a picture of him when he was a child, interacting with the animals within the circus.

2. The fact that three out of the four memories we see in the trailer are of Fizzarolli, with the one exception also taking place in Ozzie's. Which shows us that Fizzarolli has always been on Blitz's mind a lot, even more so after the fire, and every time Blitz sees Fizzarolli in his mind, it just takes him right back to that circus fire, the source of most of Blitz's self-hatred.

There's another thing I'd like to add onto my point of 'Fizzarolli has always been on Blitz's mind a lot', that being, the fact that Blitz also clearly takes whatever Fizzarolli says to heart.

Which is clearly shown to us by,

Fizzarolli being one of the characters in Blitz's drug trip, and with him also saying, "You're gonna die alone, Blitzo!"

The real Fizzarolli at Ozzie's, saying "Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!"

And with Blitz very explicitly confirming that he took what Fizzarolli said to him during his drug trip and during Ozzie's to heart.

Sure you could argue Blitz only came out with that because he was drunk at the time, but I still believe that it shows just how much Blitz at least subconsciously cares about Fizzarolli and his opinions.

"Fuck, Fizz was right. I'm gonna die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered, waste. Will you be there, Loonie?"

Fizzarolli used to resent Blitz, because he thought Blitz caused the fire on purpose, and seemingly just abandoned him. Which is why this memory comes back up again for Blitz, the sheer malice on Fizzarolli's face, the fact that the person Blitz cares about this much hated him just hurts so badly, and just because they made up in s2 e6 doesn't make that pain of the malice filled stare at Ozzie's go away, so while Blitz has indeed come a long way since that circus fire, he still hasn't forgiven himself for accidentally causing it, and all of those memories that we see in the trailer are just a reminder of that fact to Blitz, with them continuing to fuel Blitz's own self-hatred, even to this day.

Considering all of this, it's very clear that Blitz also hasn't forgiven himself for accidentally causing the fire that killed his own mother.

Finally, we can get onto my idea with all of that out of the way.

Pay attention to the floor in the next two pictures.

Notice the eye looking symbol in both of them? What that shows to me is that the scene with Blitz's mother also most likely takes place within the hotel, which also makes me suspect that the scene is a hallucination, not a flashback, and even if it's a hallucination of sorts, I feel like it'd still make sense that we see Blitz's before the fire self in this scene.

So, a potential idea I have that could go down in this scene is that the shapeshifter dude takes advantage of all of Blitz's self-hatred relating to the circus fire, by using a hallucination or something of the likes of Blitz's mother, playing into the fact that Blitz very clearly hasn't forgiven himself for accidentally causing the circus fire, and using that to crush Blitz further, by making the hallucination of Blitz's mother say or do something to make Blitz think that she'd hate him as well if she was still alive.

Which would tie into the scene where Blitz doesn't have his mother's necklace.

Obviously there's a bit of guesswork in this idea I came up with, but it still could very well happen in some way/form, which I'm really interested and scared to see how everything in this scene plays out.

[unnaturalequilibrium]

Capítulo 8

- Mafin rewatch (Sueños de Libertad)

Watching Fina with tears in her eyes trying to say sorry to Petra who accuses her of taking advantage of their friendship is pretty much as much fun as a Friday night of drinking pickle juice and giving yourself recreational papercuts. It has to count as a form of unusually cruel punishment. That look on Fina’s face however as realisation dawns, that Petra have been using her to get to the position at the store. The way you can see her go from sincere sorrow to sadness lined with righteous anger.

Fina stage whispering “I’ll kill you” at Carmen as she’s called her dad because of her weird and inexplicable sickness. This friendship is a gem. Isidro as always cutting through the bullshit and calling Fina out on her faked illness. “I’m not six years old-” and the response of “well stop acting like you are”, but it’s not said in a condescending way, he just checks her on her behaviour. His words though, they work her over and before long he has her up and out of that bed, on her way to face her new job and the mistakes she’s made. Like I said, I get why Fina is the way she is and it's a lot to do with who Isidro is as a parent I think.

Claudia in the store babbling on about how most men are a bit of a scoundrel and Fina just straight up zoning out with as much subtly as a brick to the face. Gods, she really just fucking kills Tasio at every opportunity she gets. “You lost me at Tasio and noble” - she excuses herself when Claudia calls her back to reality. Fina never change.

Also Claudia, just listen to Fina. Sure she’s just had her heart broken by the manipulative snake in a dressing gown standing next to you, but she’s not wrong. There are a lot of people who will take advantage of others in the name of love, Tasio most surely would be one of them. Being heterosexual is not a valid excuse to be stupid, shape up Claudia.

Am I a vindictive bitch, yes, but that does not stop me from taking great pleasure in the fact that Marta does not really see Petra, she just steamrolls right past her, but hiccups as her eyes land on Fina in that uniform. Yeah, I think this was actually the start. She continues her quest of being a harsh but fair mistress, telling Fina she’s not doing her any favours, but she expects hard and good work from her. Still though, that “you look different in the uniform” gets caught in her chest and seems to stumble from her lips in a most uncharacteristic way from the otherwise eloquent queen of keeping her shit together.

Petra blackmailing Fina who despite all of it sort of stands her ground. Fina says she’s sorry, she didn’t mean to offend or overstep a boundary, but she doesn’t deny what she did, there are no excuses she tries to offer up. She owns the kiss even though she apologises for having read Petra’s intentions wrong. That takes some fucking courage, especially how she then calls Petra out on her unfair behaviour as she tries to blackmail Fina out of a job because of it. She is clearly scared of being found out, about the possibility of her father finding out, but at the same time she doesn’t grovel. She doesn’t even deny being a lesbian. This is the start of why I find her so refreshing as a character, especially in a period drama. Being gay, society and our upbringing often encourage us to be apologetic about our existence, many of us filled with internalised homophobia from a very young age through the intentional and subconscious acts of the straights around us who matter to us (and those we wish didn’t). Fina however, no. Fina apologises for her actions, which were misguided, but she does not apologise for the drive behind them. And as Petra blackmails her she is clearly worried, but mostly - well mostly she comes across as really fucking angry at the injustice of it all. She will not say sorry for being gay, but she will rage at the world for treating her unjustly because of it. That’s fresh. That’s why she very quickly has become one of my favourite fictional lesbians and a bit of a role model.

We are not at fault, if the world can’t stomach us - then that is its problem, not ours.

[stilljuststardust]

Ughh i'm manifesting that it only takes me 20 minutes to shift and it feels like nothing is happening😫 I do my best to not see the 3d as validation but urgh any tips?

Take a deep breath

Your subconscious will always take you at your word, if you tell it that shifting has to take forever it will believe you and it will create that experience for you.

It's job is to give you proof of what you're telling it. You've been telling it shifting takes a while so it's been giving you proof of that assumption.

The 3D isn't resisting you it's just showing you proof of what you used to believe. If you stop repeating that story to your subconscious it'll stop giving you proof.

Your subconscious LOVES to prove you right, so only tell it what you want to happen. Don't tell yourself you're waiting waiting waiting for it if that's not what you want.

I don't need you to feel like sunshine and rainbows when you wakeup and you're not where you want, I just need you to think as if the opposite has happened. "Aw man I didn't oh shit it worked, and so quickly too"

The thing about manifesting, shifting, what have you, is you get to make up your own rules. Just as people can impose self created limits you can impose self created advantages.

You already manifested a rule for shifting, you came up with the idea that it'll take and hour two hours however long and then your subconscious supplied you proof.

So do it again, in your favor.

What I recommend for you is to treat this new rule as if it is just a fact. This is just how shifting works. It's just how things are. Shifting is very quick, that's just how it works and it's silly to think otherwise.

Whenever you think against your desires say "shifting doesn't work like that"

If you've shifted before, mentally rewrite it so that it only took you twenty minutes, and whenever you think about your manifestation remind yourself that it's so clearly already done because last time you shifted in only twenty minutes.

I need you to put more belief in yourself than you're putting in the 3D, the 3D gets its validation from you.

Every morning when you wake up say, "oh my god it worked, I shifted" even though you feel like shit. It's not about the feeling it's about what you've told your subconscious.

[arcanefain]

Story Time (or perhaps... ramble time? 😎)

So, my fiancé works for the state that we live in. The position he works for is a statewide, meaning loads of hotel stays. Incase clarification is necessary, the state does in fact pay for everything. (which is almost ironic in a sense because I think I live in one of the greediest shit holes in the U.S)

Him traveling for long periods of time occasionally takes a toll on me, especially if the location he’s working is a good distance away from where we live. I will admit to you though that it is kind of nice to have the opportunity to get away and enjoy a sort of “mini vacation” at no expense to us. Times are tough for everyone in the world right now so I do ✨try✨my best to look for the positive as opposed to the negative.

It is necessary to slow down and take time for yourself (especially in this day in age) so as expected I take advantage of this perk when and if I can. Alas, even on our best days, it is best to keep in mind the fact that our beautiful Universe has to keep us on our toes and throw a test or two our way.

Well. Today, my test was very… testing.

There I was, in my own little world, just enjoying the quaint novelties of life when all of a sudden… I broke the bathroom sink.

It was an under-mount sink that had been installed directly into an almost desk like countertop. Thinking back on it I realize that it probably wasn't made to be the sturdiest of sinks, but this is a hotel, so I'm sure it felt like a pretty big win for them at the time of installation. Just as long as it could perform basic functions and save the hotel some money, of course.

I'm sure at this point (if you're still following along with me) you're most likely asking yourself "how in the hell did you manage to break a sink?" or possibly even "can you just get the hell on with it?" and if you are, then allow me to shed some light on the matter; quite easily, frankly.

I was standing in front of the counter looking into the mirror as I was preparing myself to take a nice, hot, MUCH needed, relaxing soak in the tub. I have to wear prescription glasses full time in order for me to see anything properly due to the fact that my eyeballs decided they wanted to be develop into absolute garbage as I have gotten older (I'm only 25) and since I was getting ready to get into the bath tub, I had already removed them. If you have bad vision or know someone with bad vision, then you probably already know how difficult it was for me to gaze at my reflection without them on. Instead of reaching over to grab them and put them back on for just a second, my barely-awake brain decided to try and lean in closer to the mirror. When I leaned in it wasn't the on countertop I put my hand on, oh no no no... It was the sink I put my hand on instead. Practically as soon as I applied pressure to the sink was when it decided to give way. Now that's quite the dramatic behavior if you ask me. No forewarning, just gravity and the sink's death wish.

Immediately after it fell, I clenched up and was frozen into a state of shock. I couldn't believe what had just happened. In all of my days of existence, I have never had anything like this happen to me before. I started to feel an anxiety attack emerging and tears started to well up in my eyes. I just broke the freaking SINK in my fiancé's hotel room. I tried to overpower the subconscious negative chatter going on in my brain with more realistic and logical reasoning, but how the hell do you do that when all you can think about and look at was a sink that had quite literally fell by your own hand?

Once a few minutes had passed I was finally able to get a hold of my emotions and calm down. After that, I instantly picked up my phone and called my fiancé. He did not find it to be an amusing story like I was hoping he would. Once I got off the phone with him I got myself dressed in order to go downstairs and inform the staff of the whole ordeal, but not before checking my daily horoscope of course. 😉 (basically said I was going to have some "exciting" events occur that would help expand my mind in a way that would result in me making realizations and broadening my mindset, and it being evening now and this event happening first thing this morning, I would definitely say it did just that.)

[oflgtfol]

the idea of a catholic based mental health clinic just gives me the heebie jeebies. like one of the very first things that made me start losing faith in the church due to its institutionalized cruelty, is the catholic view of mental health, by which i mean the whole idea that committing suicide is one of the worst sins you can commit and will automatically land you in hell is just so utterly heinous and unsympathetic.

i was 11 years old and my only mental health problem at the time was my childhood anxiety, which surprise surprise, the catholic church definitely took advantage of in a way that i know fucked me over even worse than my peers going through the same religious education classes. so even though i didnt really consider myself mentally ill at the time, i was definitely subconsciously sympathetic due to my own struggles, and also just, i mean it’s fucking common sense and basic human compassion, when someone takes their own life then that’s the ultimate sign of suffering, i was 11 and even then before i truly developed my own moral backbone it just seemed so fucking cruel to victim blame people who are literally fucking mentally ill and going through such shit that they’d rather die by their own hand than continue living. it’s one thing to say oh its a sin :( dont do it :( and it’s another thing to say YOU WILL AUTOMATICALLY GO TO HELL AND SUFFER FOR ALL OF ETERNITY IF YOU DO IT. like as if someone who is already suffering in life enough to kill themself, now deserves to continue suffering even worse, even longer for all of eternity, in the flames of hell? what exactly does that solve? it’s just so fucking cruel for no fucking reason.

and the thing that really made this my breaking point with losing faith in the church and the religion as a whole, is that i tried to poke holes in the logic of this rule, find if there was any leniency at all in it, due to aforementioned cruelty. i asked my teacher, what if someone killed themself as a sacrifice to save other lives? what if killing themself saved literally All Of Humanity? (my inspiration here was robin williams’ character in the movie independence day. lol.) and my teacher said. i actually dont know, let me get back to you on that when i ask the church higher ups. which the fact she was UNCERTAIN and needed to ASK already filled me with doubt. and then she did get back to me the next week and she said. yeah actually you would still go to hell for that. because you killed yourself. and it was just the most, utter absolute outrage and injustice that filled my 11 year old body. you hate people who commit suicide so much that even if you do it for some higher noble cause, literally saving the entire fucking human race, you still go to hell.

and i must stress this, because this is what the church stressed to me: hell is Hell. you will be burning. in excruciating pain, because burning alive is one of the worst pains imaginable. and you will be burning alive for all of eternity. not one hour. not one day. not one year. not five years. not fifty years. not a century. but forever. forever and ever with no end in sight and you will suffer for your sin, your sin of committing suicide, because God gave you the ultimate Gift Of Life and you had the audacity to throw that away. dont you know God loves you? He gave you life and this is what you do with His gift? you make Him sad when you sin like this. so you have to suffer for it. for all of eternity.

it is just. so fucking heinous and so fucking ableist and actively hostile to mentally ill people, and because this applies even to people who kill themselves as a sacrifice, frankly just hostile to human life in general. i mean you want someone to let the entire human race die? because the only way to save the entire human race is to kill yourself? how is that at all sympathetic to humanity as a whole? its just indicative of the ironclad control the church has, the godfear it relies on to keep people in line, the way it wields the idea of hell to scare people down to their very bones. and i mean godfear is a problem in all denominations of christianity but i think this aspect of it is uniquely catholic, or maybe thats just because i was raised catholic and dont know other denominations’ take on the whole suicide thing.

and again i must stress this uniquely targets mentally ill people! because humanity-saving-suicides do not happen often but mentally ill people committing suicide is! so when catholics have such a heinous, unsympathetic, absolutely hostile view of mentally ill people, i just do not enjoy the idea of a CATHOLIC MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC. i do not trust that they are approaching their services in a truly compassionate way. it just sounds like yet another front where they can do a charity case and say oh look at us, we’re such good christians, helping our fellow human beings, by preventing them from doing SIN!!!! which is just NOT the way to approach healthcare!! you should want to help people because they are sick and suffering and deserve to feel better and recover! NOT because you view them as potential sinners and you’re trying to like, rehabilitate these sinners! its like, a missionary mindset, not an actual healthcare mindset, of viewing these people not as patients in need but as sinners. and maybe im projecting like maybe there are catholic mental health clinics that are able to separate religion and healthcare, but the idea is still just so fundamentally skeevy to me that i wouldnt trust any catholic based clinic

[daddyjenzus]

*Manipulation 1.2*

*How to not manipulate people*

Everyone does Manipulation to some extent, it’s basic human interaction. We inflict a reaction from others through talking with our words and body language. But most people don’t know what exactly it is they are doing and what effect it has on the other person. I do.

When I talk to people, I see their weaknesses, their strengths, their problems, their worries. Sometimes more sometimes less. I know which buttons to press. I know how to manipulate people through love and through fear. And also, I can evaluate their reaction to accurately anticipate what they are feeling or thinking.

Manipulation, for me, is autonomous. While I know what I’m doing, I don’t think about it. It’s mostly subconscious but I am aware.

Like driving a car. I know when I am shifting gears but I don’t think about it, I just do it.

So, I can’t stop doing certain things that inflict certain reactions. Even doing nothing sometimes is an act of manipulation.

The question ist, where does Basic Human Interaction end und where does manipulation start?

Manipulation obviously being the morally negative thing here.

The obvious answer would be: manipulation starts when I get people to do something to get an advantage. But what does advantage mean? If I manipulate someone on a party to bring me a beer, it’s the same outcome as someone asking for a beer and the other person being nice and getting it. If I manipulate someone into liking me, are we not just becoming friends? Well, „normal“ people can become friends with each other too, the only difference being that I can get everyone to like me and can become friends with anyone. So the advantage part lacks some explanation, there is nothing wrong with doing things to get something.

Now, diving deeper into the topic, I think it’s fair to say, the advantage isn’t even part of manipulation. It’s not a requirement. I can manipulate people without advantage, just for fun.

So, we can say it’s not about the advantage but about getting someone to do something that they don’t want to do. This part seems fairly easy, right? Just let everyone be a grown-up and decide for themselves, right? Well, no. A person with an eating disorder needs guidance by someone with a better understanding of what they are doing to get back to eating normally. There is lots of thoughts and actions caused by primal desires or negative emotions like hate or pride or fear. Is it a bad thing to manipulate someone to overcome their fears or hate? Maybe, yes. It is manipulation, but is it bad? Definitely not. So manipulation isn’t always something bad. Though, it is a thin line to walk, to decide for someone else what is good for them in situations they can’t control because their mind is playing them. And it is morally grey for sure. But it’s not bad.

To sum it up, for me, I can’t stop manipulating. Most of the things I do can be seen as basic interactions, but the fact, that I know what I am doing may let it fall into the category of manipulation. That manipulation isn’t always bad, though. It is only bad if I get over the line of helping someone into the territory of deciding for them in situations where I shouldn’t. Or if I get them to do things that are negative in some way for their well-being, just for fun.

Right, should be easy to stop that then. Just don’t do it. Just do, what your own thoughts say is the proper thing to do.

Well here is thing, since I do all of that stuff subconsciously, I wouldn’t know which one is the proper thing and which isn’t. I’d have to evaluate every single decision of human interaction to find out what my goals are and what it inflicts on the other person. That is what I am doing right now. It’s fucking exhausting. And since I try to not do things when they seem to be likely to be bad manipulation, I stumble often and am in a state of actively not doing what my whole body screams at me to do. It’s like having to take a shit really bad but you have to walk to the toilet first, so you clinch your butt to not shit yourself. I can’t think about anything else, I get stuck in those thoughts. Re-evaluating over and over again, because it seems like the right thing but I can’t be sure.

It’s not easy. It’s not easy to just do „the proper thing“. And there will be situations where I won’t be able to stay ahead of myself. There will be situations where I won’t evaluate fast enough. What then? I will manipulate someone. And who pays for that? It won’t be me. I’ll be fine as always. But what do I do afterwards? I can’t make it right through manipulation. That would just cause a chain of actions that probably make it even worse. And I can’t tell the other person and apologize. Mostly they won’t understand it but just get bad thoughts about me. That’ll make everything worse, too. My best option is to just be good more often than being bad. So the wrong decisions don’t get much value in the overall scheme of things.

Great, some Rules now:

1. You can still manipulate people into liking you. It’s that deeply carved into your personality, you couldn’t even stop that if you wanted to. No emotional attaching, though.

2. You can still go through with perfect situations. They are not bad mostly but evaluate them more over time. If it’s the perfect moment to make pancakes, go make pancakes, even if you’re not sure how much emotional attachment comes from it. Revisit this rule after some time.

3. You can’t get carried away by primal desires of sexual attraction. Masturbate before certain situations just to be sure.

4. It is okay to feel lonely and to need someone to give you some peace. But get it from them by asking, not by making them.

5. If you make a mistake, it’s fine, accept it and go on with your life. If you try to fix it all costs, it will very likely make things worse.

6. You can help someone who feels bad, but only through support and distraction. No emotional attaching!

7. You are allowed to have fun occasionally. Can’t follow the rules if you don’t want to. Go and play sometimes if it feels good. But know your limit.

8. Reflect on your codependent situation and find the triggers that make you forget your reasoning. Codependent driven situations are less controllable.

[calaofnoldor]

What’s Mine

Characters: Sam x F!Reader, Dean

Words: 7,595

Summary: The secret you and Sam are hiding from Dean is threatened by your inability to keep your hands off each other.

Warnings: 18+ no actual smut but plenty of implied smut, pre-smut, and smut adjacency lol, secret dating, enemies to lovers, jealousy and possessiveness (exhibited by both sam and reader), slight obsession with sam’s big ass hands (i blame this largely on @walkerboy290​‘s glorious hand porn gif sets), and language

A/N: inspired by and written for @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ bc she’s been bugging me to write smut and using her birthday as a bargaining chip, so i hope you’re happy sai. happy (belated) birthday babe! i suppose in my subconscious need to truly honor you, this became the longest one shot i’ve ever written... that and this is now also a little birthday gesture for the brilliant and beautiful @sams-sass​​ (damn your close birthdays!) even though she never asked for smut (if you hate it, i’ll write you something else!) happy birthday to you too, darling!

also written for @superbadassnatural​‘s 333 badass followers celebration with the prompt “___ and I are together.” “Yeah, right, and I’m Santa.” and @writethelifeyouwant​‘s 300 follower fic challenge with the prompt “All the pretty girls like Samuel” (both prompts are bolded in the fic) i’m sorry i’m so late! congratulations to both of you and thanks for letting me enter your challenges!

[basically i have a lot of people to blame for this disaster 😂]

Square Filled: Secret Dating for @spnfluffbingo​ and Enemies to Lovers for @girl-next-door-writes​ Make Me Feel Bingo

MASTERLIST

The waffles on your plate are surprisingly good for a sketchy, 50’s-themed diner, but unfortunately your attention is elsewhere. In fact, the two distinctly masculine voices behind you have been obnoxiously impairing your ability to savor the buttery, syrup-doused carbs since their owners sat down in the adjoining booth. It’s the topic of their discussion that disturbs you, and nips at your conscience until you realize you can no longer take off without imparting a few words to your oblivious colleagues.

Turning your head subtly to the side, you try to catch a glimpse of the men you’re about to confront in your peripheral vision. From what you can see, they’re both rather burly, a little rough around the edges, and from what you’ve heard, recklessly cocksure. You know the type all too well. Being a lone hunter of the fairer sex for most of your life means you’ve long since learned that the best way to combat their kind is with a steadfast façade of thick skin and unwavering confidence.

So you sigh and put on your best smile before turning around, crossing your forearms along the top of the booth seat, “Listen fellas, I hate to interrupt, but I really wouldn’t bother with the bamboo dagger and Shinto priest if I were you.”

“And who the hell are you?” the one with shorter hair demands. He’s a bit stockier than his companion and has a face that looks like it was designed by Abercrombie and Fitch - well that explains the arrogance.

“I’m the person who’s about to save your asses evidently,” you respond with a smug grin, trying not to let their absurdly good looks deter your act.

Abercrombie’s partner, the Fabio wannabe, releases a quiet scoff, “And how are you gonna do that?” he questions dubiously.

“By letting you in on a little secret…” Throwing him a tight smile, you lean forward and lower your voice, “That ōkami you’re after? It’s not an ōkami, it’s a ghoul.” Sitting back, you await the outrage.

“What?! But that’s not possible, I checked the lore. And it’s obviously got a type.” Fabio’s glossy chestnut locks fall across his delicate features as he shakes his head in disbelief, and you almost snort out loud. How did this amateur expect to hunt with hair like that?

You look him over, taking in the broad shoulders and muscled arms, as well as the obvious height advantage he’s got over Abercrombie even whilst they’re both seated. To be honest, you’re surprised he’s referencing lore at all. Guys his size always assume they can either outman or outgun whatever obstacles cross their path, and they almost never take women like you seriously, despite your ample years of acquired knowledge and invaluable experience. It’s this experience that surmises a bit of antagonism here is inevitable, so you might as well get a head start.

“Yeah well maybe you should check again, big guy,” you glance down at his hands, your first mistake as their sheer size render you speechless and subsequently agitated at yourself for the momentary lapse of visceral lust, but the show must go on, “Make sure those giant, lumbering hands of yours don’t fumble over anything important or you might miss the connection to Isabelle Harding. You see it’s not ‘a type’; it’s revenge.”

“Wh- Bu- I looked through the files. I wouldn’t have missed that,” Fabio insists.

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you type ‘Isabelle Harding’ and ‘1987 school bombing’ into your search bar and see what comes up?” you gesture towards the laptop on their table with a raised brow. Minutes later, both men are dumbfounded by the revelation on the screen, staring between it and you with their mouths agape.  

You chuckle silently at their faces, “Don’t worry, there’s no need to thank me. Although you rookies might wanna go home and let the more experienced hunter finish up here.” As you’re about to bid them farewell, you dip back in to add, “Oh and a word of free advice, maybe don’t discuss supernatural monsters quite so loudly in public spaces next time. It might invite unwanted attention.”

With that, you turn around and slap some cash down next to your unfinished waffles, before grabbing your jacket and strutting out the door.

Sam is left in utter confusion. The sudden animosity you had spouted his way seems completely baseless and unwarranted. Had he somehow offended you? Sam generally considers himself a highly respectful and fairly easy-going guy, not quite as hot-blooded as his brother, and thus not as likely to provoke such antipathy from a complete stranger. To make matters worse, he certainly can’t deny that something about you had registered within his subconscious as inexplicably attractive, despite the way you’d embarrassed him. In his flustered and slightly aroused state, it had been all he could do to remain awestruck in his seat and stare blatantly at your ass as you walked away.

The next time Sam sees you is only twelve hours later and no less humiliating. You’re mid-swing in the killing blow against what you had accurately predicted to be a ghoul as he and Dean tumble in. Despite the low lighting, Sam is once again stupefied by your raging beauty, augmented by the incredible skill you’re displaying in a much more physical sense this time around. Before he can drag his eyes away, there’s a collective shout of “watch out!” and suddenly you’re right in front of him. In a blur of events, you somehow manage to push Sam out of the way and successfully decapitate the unexpected second ghoul that had been sneaking up behind him, with only a slice across the arm to show for it.

“Didn’t I tell you two to go home?” You’re panting from the exertion and Sam’s gaze lands on the neckline of your shirt, skewed from the fight and revealing a good amount of cleavage. He quickly averts his eyes. What is happening? Sam can’t remember the last time anyone had evoked such a staggering reaction from him. He feels as if he’s a mere spectator in his own body.

Across from him, you press your hand against the wound and curse when it comes back covered in blood. At your groan of pain, Sam finally finds his voice again, “Shit. I’m so sorry! I don’t know how I missed that other one. I- that normally doesn’t happen.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s what you say to all the girls, huh?” you reply offhand, still a bit out of breath.

It’s easy for Sam to dismiss your mocking given that he feels terribly guilty for being the cause of your injury. From where he’s standing, the cut looks deep. “Here, at least let me stitch it up for you. It’s too awkward a position for you to do it yourself,” he offers, holding out his ginormous hands to you like he’s waving a white flag.

“I think you’ve done enough damage for one day, haven’t you, big guy? At this point, I’d rather Abercrombie over there be the one behind the needle.”

“Who- what?” are the first words Dean speaks since the action has died down.

You turn to face the shorter guy, “Oh don’t look so surprised. You might as well be the model for a slightly older Ken doll. Are you up for it or not?”

Dean’s mouth hangs open as he tries to determine whether he should feel flattered or insulted.

“Uh- actually, I’m better at stitches than my brother,” Sam butts in.

“With those jumbo, fumbling hands? Yeah, sure you are, big guy,” you decline skeptically.

“It’s Sam,” he states through a clenched jaw.

“OK, Sam. Since I just saved your life, you mind making yourself useful and burning those bodies while your bro puts my arm back together? You know, as a ‘thank you’ perhaps?”

Sam is stunned for the third time that day. No one has ever belittled him (whilst gratuitously attacking his size) insofar without any apparent reason. It seems as though his very existence upsets you and the arbitrariness of your contempt has caused an anger to stir beneath him, but beyond that lies bewilderment and irritation. How had he managed to accomplish two such massive mistakes in front of you in the span of so short a time? Perturbed and bitter, Sam silently sets to work on the bodies.

Meanwhile, you’ve come to a surprising realization as Dean begins to cut the fabric of your flannel away from your damaged arm, the name ‘Sam’ and the words ‘my brother’ resounding in your head, “Wait a second- there’s no way… you’re not… the Winchesters, are you? Sam and… Dean?”

“The one and only, sweetheart.” He sends you a dazzling smile that is as perfect as you’d expect, but within his eyes is an underlying poignancy that you recognize as clear as day: an indication of a traumatic past and a lifetime spent plastering on tough veneers. You notice as well how gentle his touch is and how his stitches are practiced and prudent. Perhaps you had judged him too hastily.

Through an incredulous chuckle, you retort, “Well I can’t say I didn’t expect more from you, but at least this’ll get me a free round of drinks at the hunters’ pub tonight.”

Dean laughs with you before sobering at the thought of how his baby brother must be feeling, “Hey listen, take it easy on Sammy, alright? I don’t know what’s gotten into him today but he’s not usually like this. He’s actually the smart one, believe it or not.”

Scoffing, you can’t help but smile back at Dean and soon find an easy rhythm with the older Winchester, despite your awkward introduction.

From several yards away, however, Sam looks wistfully back to see you smiling lightheartedly at something Dean’s said, the two of you huddled in close proximity as his brother’s hands drift across your bare skin. Something akin to envy bubbles within his chest although he’s aware it makes no sense, so with a frown, Sam does his best to shake it off and get back to work.

But it’s not easy to forget you. And just as Sam is beginning to think he’s rid that awful day from his memory, you pop back into his life three months down the line.

“Well, if it isn’t the overgrown hunter extraordinaire Sammy Winchester.” The sarcasm that oozes from your otherwise beguiling voice has him gritting his teeth in no time.

“It’s Sam.”

“So you here to mess up my hunt again, Sam?”

Although he wishes he could have been the bigger man instead of surrendering to the resentment you roused within him, after a couple repeated hatchet burying attempts fall through, Sam just can’t resist the little game you’ve started.

Over the next few months, you and Dean form a fortuitously close bond and the older Winchester develops a habit of calling you up when faced with a troublesome hunt, and vice versa. Despite Sam’s fabricated displeasure, a show he puts on mostly for Dean (since any other emotion would seem illogical given the way you treat him), Sam is peculiarly and begrudgingly excited to see you every time. But the match never ends. In fact, Sam lets it intensify each time you work together, always astounded by how you manage to get him so worked up.

“I’m telling you, it’s a rugaru!”

“Right, because the last time we listened to you, things worked out so well,” you remark sardonically.

“The lore says-“

“Ooh, quoting the lore again now are we, Mr. Know It All?”

At this point, Sam is about as huffy and puffy as the big bad wolf and if he were a cartoon character, there’d surely be steam erupting from his ears. “Look, Y/N, this isn’t about who knows more or who’s right; this is about saving those people’s lives!”

“You think I don’t know that? Was I not the one who saved your life the first time we met?”

“OK, alright, just shut up you two!” Dean finally shouts above you, “Would it kill you to just get along for two seconds?”

“No,” Sam admits.

“Probably,” you say at the same time, causing Sam to shoot you his overly perfected bitch face.

SIX MONTHS LATER

“What the fuck?!” Dean’s booming voice echoes throughout the bunker and moments later you and Sam come flying into the kitchen to answer his call, guns at the ready.

“What? What is it?” you ask while Sam scans the room.

A whimper is the only the way to describe the sound of Dean’s reply, as he points toward an unseen object on the floor. Edging toward him, you lower your gun in the direction of his finger until you discover the source of Dean’s distress.

With a sigh, you look toward Sam who is also exhaling in relief at the sight of the entity in question. The two of you share a moment of wordless conversation before simultaneously dropping your guns with a conclusive nod.

“Why does this feel like déjà vu?” Dean’s tone is still timid and appalled, and you nearly laugh at the idea of a grown-ass man looking so aghast because of a used condom.

“Because it kinda is…” you supply unhelpfully, earning yourself a small glare from the man beside you.

“Dean,” Sam begins with a deep breath, “There’s something we have to tell you… Y/N and I are together.”

The snort that escapes Dean is full-bodied and borderline psychotic, “Yeah, right, and I’m Santa!”

You wait till his snickering subsides, “No, it- it’s true.” Your voice is hesitant yet hopeful, “We’re not joking. We’ve kinda become… a thing.”

“A thing?”

“Yeah, well you know, I don’t wanna have to put a label on it or-“

“Y/N’s my girlfriend,” Sam declares with conviction as he reaches out to curl his long fingers around your waist and lasso you towards him.

“-Buuuut, that is the one I’d use if anyone asks,” you quickly affirm with a stiff pat to your boyfriend’s abdomen, wincing at the unversed attempt of PDA and missing the dimpled grin that crosses Sam’s amused features.

“Well, I don’t buy it. I don’t believe either of you.” Dean’s sturgeon face comes on strong as he shakes his head and points a challenging finger at you, “Kiss him, right now,” he dares with perked brows.

The eye roll you respond with is so dramatic your entire head moves with it. But then, without a moment of pause, you turn your body into Sam’s, reach up to grab the back of his neck and pull him down for a searing kiss. Now this is something you’re well-versed in. The reunion of your lips starts off relatively slow, but it doesn’t take long to escalate into something more fiery that involves tongue, the eager push and pull movements of your bodies, and Sam’s enormous hands cradling your head.

After a moment of shock, Dean objects, “Alright, alright, I get it! That’s enough of that!”

Unwilling to recede just yet, you linger in the kiss for a little longer, delaying your separation by nibbling down on Sam’s lower lip and tugging gently, only releasing it as you pull away torturously slow. When the two of you finally open your languid eyes, it’s to stare into each other’s dilated pupils and ponder the moment for an indiscernible minute.

“What th- I said, I get it! Now could please stop ogling each other before my lunch comes back out the wrong way?!”

But the way Sam’s smiling at you is addictive and you can’t bring yourself to look away until he forces a break by leaning in to plant a tender kiss upon your forehead before tucking you into his side as he faces his brother again.

Dean’s face is covered by his hand, “I’m gonna need a minute. I just-“ His features leap through a range of expressions as he tries to find the right words, “When the hell did this start anyway? I thought you two couldn’t stand each other?”

“Yeahhh, that was mostly an act. Although we bought it at first too,” you explain with a shrug.

“We weren’t pretending the whole time. It just kind of happened and we didn’t really know how else to act around each other by then,” Sam adds.

“Right, basically it turns out there’s a fine line between love and hate... and that line is hardcore yearning.” Your words bring a chuckle to Sam’s lips but his brother still looks out of sorts.

Shaking his head with closed eyes, Dean sighs, “Alright, can someone just explain to me exactly how this happened, because I’m still not computing here. But spare me the details and try to keep it PG-13,” he emphasizes with adamant hand gestures.

“How do you know it’s not PG-13?” you inquire with a held-back laugh.

“Ha. With the way you two were playing tonsil hockey just now, I can tell you’ve been around the bend way more than I wanna know. My little brother doesn’t kiss like that on the first date.”

It’s impossible to hold back a giggle at the memory of your ‘first date’ and the way Sam had kissed you, “OK well, that would be hard, considering the story involves a lot of sex... You wanna give it a go, big guy?” you pass the ball over to Sam with a quirked brow and lowered voice, to which he responds with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, a little warning glance that you’re well aware means ‘save it for the bedroom’ but you simply smirk up at him.  

‘Big guy’ used to be a term you called Sam in contempt, but when the feelings between you evolved and a sexual relationship developed, it became an innuendo, such that calling him ‘big guy’ in front of Dean or in public almost always results in glorious sex. In fact, sometimes you believe the nickname has held a slightly obscene connotation for you since the beginning.

Afterall, your carnal longing for him has been present from day one, although at the time you had believed it to be purely physical. Sure, you had dreams about having him in various positions in your bed, but you figured those were merely betrayals of your subconscious mind. That was until one day, a heated argument in a rare moment alone had ended up in a violent make out session, after which the two of you had just barely gotten the last of your clothes back on before Dean walked in. One look at your worked up and frenetic states alongside the disordered condition of your surroundings, and he immediately assumed you’d been fighting again (which wasn’t terribly far from the truth), chortling as he asked if you would have killed each other had he returned a bit later.

With a clearing of his throat, Sam begins to recount the tale, “Uh, well it started in that motel in South Carolina, while you were out getting food…”

“Look, all I’m saying is there is no way he’s using the hospital as a dump site! It’s just not feasible!”

With complete disregard for the peace and quiet of the other residents within this thin-walled motel, you and Sam once again find yourselves in a shouting match.

“Oh right, I forgot! You’re Sam Winchester! How could you POSSIBLY be wrong?! Mister ‘look at me, my IQ and LSAT score match my fucking height! Oh and I also happen to have the physique of an Adonis without even owning a gym membership!’” you roar bitterly, gesticulating with your hands to help better communicate your pent-up indignation.

“Right and you’re Y/N Y/L/N, so how could YOU possibly be wrong? Miss ‘look at me, I never went to college but I’m a genius AND I can kick ass! Oh and I also happen to look effortlessly stunning through it all!’” Sam suddenly seems bigger than ever as he towers over you, that panty-soaking deep voice emanating from his diaphragm and infusing itself throughout the entire room until all you can see, hear, and breathe is Sam.

The fury takes over and you don’t notice your feet taking you closer to him, “Oh yeah because you don’t make EVERYTHING you do look so unnecessarily hot and make me wanna rip your clothes off all the damn time!”

“Fuck! And you don’t always drive me crazy when we have these stupid arguments and your chest starts heaving and you look so insanely delectable I just wanna pick you up and fuck you against the closest surface!” By now, the distance between you is essentially nonexistent and your brain is no longer run by reason.

“So why don’t you then?” are your famous last words, prompting Sam to grab you wildly by the back of a thigh, lifting slightly and driving you to climb up him like a spider monkey fleeing from a grounded predator, while his other hand pushes your hair aside to gain better access to your face. Your mouths clash in a fierce battle and before you know it, Sam’s huge hands are cupping your ass as your legs wrap around his waist and you rut into him, hands flying from his shoulders to his hair. Those divine chestnut locks that you’ve always dreamed of running your fingers through. They’re somehow even softer than you imagined and the revelation, in conjunction with the way Sam’s tongue is becoming increasingly aggressive causes a fresh surge of libidinous energy to rocket through you. As a result, you give his silky strands an irresistible tug and drink in the moan he makes, the sinful sound reverberating straight down to your core as you clench around nothing.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sam groans as he grudgingly forces himself to pull back as much as he can, “Are you sure? Is this what you want? Cause I can’t- Y/N I won’t be able to stop myself if we keep going.” His eyes squeeze shut as if the notion of stopping or the act of keeping his lips away from yours is causing him genuine pain, and the entire gesture moves you.

“Fuck, you really are the opposite of everything I thought you would be,” you make a quick mental note to apologize later for your initially presumptuous behavior although you can’t find it within yourself to feel any remorse right now, “Yes, please Sam, fuck me. I want you so bad… I think I have since we met and I saw those gorgeous hands of yours,” you confess, biting your lip lightly.

Sam breathes out a low incredulous laugh, “What, these?” he asks, removing one of the aforementioned hands away from your butt to bring it into your line of vision.

“Yes, fuck they’re so big and beautiful and strong and-“

“Alright, I don’t need to know about your weird hand fetish!” Dean hollers abruptly, rubbing his fingers across his eyes as if he could somehow erase the image of you and his brother together out of his retinas. “OK, but that was like… four months ago. You mean you’ve been sneaking around behind my back this whole time?”

“Well at first we didn’t want to tell you because we weren’t even sure what it was ourselves,” you divulge.

“Yeah, we didn’t want to try to explain something that we didn’t understand yet,” Sam supplements, hoping his brother will understand the motive behind your secrecy.

You nod along, “But then… it got a little harder to hide.”

The apprehension behind Dean’s emerald eyes is unmistakable as he reluctantly inquires, “That’s why this felt like déjà vu?”

It’s with a grimace that you reply, hesitantly, “Remember the time you found those panties in the backseat of the Impala?”

Dean’s eyes grow comically wide and Sam ducks his head in preparation of what’s to come.

“Yeah, there’s a story behind that…”

The click of her heels against the porcelain-tiled foyer irritates you as the three of you stride through her front door. You’re posing as detectives sent to question this overdressed young woman about her late husband, but the moment she lays her eyes on Sam, you reckon she’s forgotten her beloved’s damn name.

“Oh my… lord and savior. Well aren’t you a tall drink of water?” she beholds breathlessly with a seductive bite of her painted ruby lips.

You cough loudly and Dean sniggers, thinking you’re annoyed about Sam getting such commendation and attention during a serious case.

“I know this might be the grief talking, but I would climb you like a tree,” she purrs, sauntering up to Sam with an exaggerated sway of her hips. With her half-lidded doe eyes adorned with dark, fluttery lashes and low, sultry voice, you have to admit she’s quite attractive.

Grinding your teeth as your nails dig into your palms, you glower at the woman unreservedly. She, however, takes no notice, running her hands along Sam’s forearms before gripping at his bicep to lead him toward her living room. “Please, come have a seat, detective. You can ask me whatever you want.” The wink she appends is somehow the final nail in the coffin.

It’s with zero hesitation that you feign the reception of a notification on your phone before declaring, “Oh would you look at that, the uh… Sheriff needs us back at the station, Sam. He says it’s urgent.” You try to keep your tone even, thankful that you all maintained your real first names for these aliases, “Dean, you’re good to conduct this interview on your own, right?” Without waiting for an answer, you trample over to snatch Sam’s other arm and ignoring the horny widow’s gaping mouth, proceed to haul him away.

Dean sends you a strange look but relents, “Uh, yeah I guess, OK.”

As soon as the door closes behind you, your hand shifts down to lace your fingers with Sam’s, marching him towards the Impala with a staunch and mighty purpose. Even Sam’s elongated legs stumble to keep up.

“So uh… when did you give the Sheriff your number?” There’s an edge in his voice that normally disappears when it’s just the two of you.

“Wha- I didn’t. Sam, I just made all that up,” you tell him as you reach the car and open its back door. Pushing Sam inside, you climb in swiftly after him, wasting no time as you straddle his thighs and begin to undress him, only pausing when he looks up at you in adorable, puppy-like confusion.

“Wait, what? Then what are we doing?”

That’s when it finally dawns on you, “Hold on a sec, were you… jealous?” You can’t help but smile, finding it amusing that he’s stewing in his own envy after what you just witnessed.

“No, I just- He was kinda all over you this morning.”

“You mean like the way Mrs. My-Husband-Just-Died-But-I-Wanna-Climb-You-Like-a-Tree was in there?”

“Oh, that’s what this is about?” Sam perks up, the hint of a smug grin ghosting across his lips.

“She was practically holding your hand!”

“That’s what bothered you the most?” He dips his head to catch your eyes and those variegated irises burn into you with an intense, questioning gaze, alight with mischievous curiosity.

“They’re my hands to hold,” you contend with a pout, subconsciously clenching your thighs around his as you seize one of his large hands with two of your much smaller ones, “Just like you’re my tree to climb.”

Sam’s head falls back in bright laughter, “I thought you said they were ‘oversized’ and ‘ungainly’?” he teases, quoting your previous slights.

“You know I only said that cause Dean was there.”

“I’m pretty sure you called them ‘fumbly’ and ‘lumbering’ the first time we met.”

Staring at his fingers as you play with them, you shiver at the memory of how they feel all over you. “That was cause I used to think all hunters with a Y chromosome were cocky, misogynistic assholes who needed to be knocked down a peg or two.”

“But I proved you wrong, right?”

“Fuck yes you did. So, so wrong. And now you’re mine, and I don’t like seeing other people touch what’s mine,” you growl before returning to your earlier task of removing his clothes, pouncing on him when your fingers finally land on bare skin. You kiss him fiercely, swallowing his surprised grunts with glee, and as his hands start travelling from your hips up to your back, holding you tight against him, your lips move down to his pulse point, sucking, licking, and nibbling, “Mine.”

“Fucking Jesus Christ on a cracker! You goddamn rabbits!” Dean squawks in protest as he begins to pace the floor, “Have you no decency?! And in my poor Baby! While I was busy doing all the work, saving lives!”

You roll your eyes at his melodramatics and can feel the tension in Sam’s abdominal muscles as he attempts to restrain his laughter. As if Dean had never taken a break during a case for a stress-relieving quickie before, or hadn’t been at least somewhat grateful to be left alone with a beautiful woman.

His next comment confirms your point, “Although, if I remember correctly that lady was a fox.” After a brief pondering pause and an introspectively appreciative smirk, Dean’s whining resumes, “But seriously! I can’t believe you two! Here I was feeling bad for forcing you to work and live together, hoping you’d eventually learn to get along when this whole time you were shacking up like animals and casually defiling my Baby just because what? Some girl touched Sam’s hand?!”

Feeling emboldened by the catharsis of this long-overdue airing of your dirty laundry, you decide to add to Dean’s exasperation, “Yeah and in the spirit of honesty, that might’ve happened more than once.” Sam tries to hold back his snort as he gives your hip a playful cautionary squeeze while Dean’s feet come to a full stop as he turns to give you a death glare. “Hey, it’s not my fault all the pretty girls like Samuel! And I’m pretty sure we wiped her down after.”

“I don’t even-“ Dean purses his lips and quirks his head with a dynamic expression of unbearable vexation, “You better be getting me pie every day of the week for what you did.“ He takes a deep breath before circling back, “Wait, OK so you’re telling me that a used condom ended up in our kitchen because- what? You two couldn’t keep it in your pants long enough to find a bed? You know what, forget I asked. I don’t wanna know. Did you at least sanitize the place after?? No, of course you didn’t, you left a fucking condom on the floor… I think I’m gonna throw up.”

But you hardly hear Dean’s rambling because you and Sam are far too wrapped up in each other, smiling as you recall the events of that morning.

Your eyes slowly drift open to find the most exalting sight in all the world: Sam Winchester’s sleeping face, blissful and serene. Lifting a hand to gingerly cup his cheek, the corners of your mouth curl up when he leans into your touch. It’s moments like this that make you wish you could wake up next to him every morning.

Only after you’ve traced his every feature and planted a soft kiss where his dimple would be if he were awake and smiling, do you carefully peel yourself from his side, slipping out of his hold as you quietly climb out of bed. Sam rolls over a bit and you freeze with bated breath, watching as his big arm extends out in your direction as if trying to reach for you in his sleep, before stilling again.

Mornings like this are rare and you want him to soak up all the restful sleep he can. Once you’re sure you haven’t woken him, you scan the room for something to cover your naked figure, until your eyes land on the flannel he’d worn the night before. Picking it up, you bring it to your nose and inhale deeply to revel in the residual scent of Sam. Another glimpse at his peaceful, sleeping form has you smiling fondly. God, you are such a goner for that man. It’s becoming hard to reserve your soft looks toward him for private moments alone.

You can barely remember how it happened, but over time, you’d come to learn that Sam is nothing like you originally imagined him to be. He’s kind-hearted and open-minded, the type of soul that can find hope and beauty in even the darkest of places, a far cry from the shallow macho man silhouette you’d expected him to fill. In fact, Sam routinely defies the expectations others have enforced upon him, proving his worth time and time again as he’s persisted through some of what must be the toughest challenges to ever face a single human. Yet through it all, his spirit remains intact, never once yielding to cynicism or resentment or apathy or even the building of walls as you and Dean have resorted to. He is truly the bravest man you know and infinitely more competent than your first fluke of a hunt with him had mistakenly suggested, both in the field and in bed.

Shaking the thoughts from your head, you wrap yourself in plaid and head out the door. Dean never questions your use of Sam’s shirts because ever since Sam firmly insisted on giving you his flannel after your second encounter with them resulted in Dean cutting your own top apart, you’ve grown into a habit of borrowing Sam’s clothes. You always claim they’re more comfortable than your own and Sam’s feigned annoyance over you ‘stealing’ his belongings tides Dean right over.

Half an hour passes before Sam approaches the bunker kitchen to find you with your back towards the entrance, busy prepping breakfast in nothing but his plaid. He pauses in the doorway to stare at you for a minute, licking his lips with an irrepressible smile. For some, this may seem like a stereotypical morning after, but for a couple of hunters, it feels like a dream come true.

After finally returning to the bunker last night following the completion of a series of successful hunts, you’ve got no solid obligations and very little on your to-do lists today, although Sam’s got more than a few ideas about how to pass the time, and a couple more come to mind when you stretch up on your toes to reach for something, causing the hem of his shirt to glide up until its corner reveals just slightest hint of your incredible ass. Sam can’t suppress his little grunt of approval, which catches your attention and makes you turn your head, peering back at him over your shoulder.

You smirk at the blessed view of him standing there in nothing but the pair of thin grey sweatpants you’d bought him a month ago when you discovered the viral online phenomenon, “Hey, big guy. You just gonna stand there and gawk or do you wanna make yourself useful and grab another plate from the top shelf?”

Chuckling at your false animosity, Sam stalks toward you, “Good morning to you too.” One of his vast hands falls upon your hip as he presses the maximum possible length of his body into your back side, while his other hand reaches up over your head to snatch the plate you’d asked for.

“Good morning indeed,” you concur with a silent gasp when you feel the generous bulge in his pants.

“Oh that’s not morning, baby girl,” Sam husks into your ear, “That’s all you.” His powerful arms slink around you and his lips find their way down the side of your neck, lingering in that tender spot just behind your ear whilst you tilt your head and close your eyes, contentedly surrendering yourself to the moment. “I ever tell you how good you look in my shirts?”

Wiggling your butt back to tease him a bit, you’re pleased with the hiss it elicits. “No, but you made it very clear how bad I look in Dean’s,” you counter playfully.

The man behind you scoffs, “I didn’t say you looked bad; you could never look bad. I just… don’t like seeing you wear his clothes.”

“Oh, I know,” you turn around in his arms, “I just don’t understand how Dean doesn’t know yet. I mean, I think you’ve been very obvious.”

“And you haven’t?”

“I’m not the one who leaves hickeys in very visible places all over your body!”

Sam’s eyes glaze over in lust, an idea clearly forming in his head as he glances down at you. “Dean’s a hot-blooded guy; he needs to know you’re off-limits,” he alleges before attacking your throat with his mouth.

“So why don’t we just tell him?”

Without pausing his efforts, Sam reminds you, “Because you said you thought it was kinda hot, all the sneaking around. Mmpf, and because you said you wanted to see how long it would take him to figure it out.”

You nod while running your fingers through his silken strands and leaning back to give him more purchase, “That’s true. But in my defence, we always have this conversation when we’re doing stuff like this and I can’t think straight when your hands and mouth are on me.”

“Kinda like how I can’t think straight when you’re wearing nothing but my shirt?” His kisses travel down from your neck to your collarbone and shoulder as he slides his loosely buttoned flannel off to one side, “Fuck, you’ve got me so hard.”

Without warning, Sam seizes your waist and hoists you into the air as if gravity were an absolute joke, before plopping you down on the edge of the steel counter, his thumbs digging lightly into your ribcage.

“Sam! This is where we eat!” you protest with a laugh.

“Exactly. Which is why I’m gonna devour you here.” He dives back into your neck, continuing his work on a little pink mark that’s already beginning to form.

“Oh fuck… Wait, what if Dean walks in?” It’s through a great struggle that you manage to push him back an inch.

“He’s got a date with the Impala. He’ll be in the garage all day, trust me.” Sam’s gaze sweeps over your body suggestively, “Now are you gonna let me taste what’s mine?”

With an equally lewd survey of his extensive frame, you reply, “As long as you let me impale myself on what’s mine later.”

His eyes darken and the way he’s looking at you like you’re the only person he’s ever wanted ignites a confidence within you, so in a rather swift motion, you grasp him by the shaft through his sweatpants – the delicious groan he emits at your touch is enough to turn your pussy into a slip and slide – and pull him back towards you until the clothed length of him is resting against your folds and your noses brush, while his hands settle naturally on your thighs.

Shivering, your breath stutters and for an instant you can do nothing but bask in the closeness of him. Sam seems to enjoy it too because he closes his eyes as he rests his forehead against yours with an elated sigh. For the second time today, you marvel at his beauty, whispering a string of gasping kisses along his lower eye socket and exquisite cheekbone, simply dying to breathe him in. All of him is so immaculate and sublime. Each time the two of you reconvene, you want to savor every fucking inch of him, but there are a lot of inches, so the task often overwhelms you. Still, you must try. Locking your ankles behind him, you use your legs to pull him even further into you and the friction makes you lose your mind.

“Fuck, baby girl, you keep that up I’ll be making a mess in my pants,” Sam grunts with his lips upon your cheek.

Your breathless laughter fills the air, thinking of the stain you've undoubtedly already left on his charming grey sweatpants. Nimble as he is, Sam takes advantage of your open mouth and plunges his tongue inside. After so much preamble, the kiss is heavy and full of need. When the pressure of his lips pushes your head back, your hands fly to his wrists for the sake of your balance.

From there, they journey upward across his vascular forearms to his bulging triceps, fondling his massive shoulders before sliding along his traps and up the gorgeous length of his perfect neck, until you finally reach the treasure trove of his impeccable locks. You tangle your fingers into the lush mane and yank, gently but zealously, making Sam growl into your mouth. His voice is the hottest thing you’ve ever heard and the sounds he makes always drive you insane.

Never breaking the kiss, Sam’s colossal moose paws roam up to your back as he slowly lays you down on the counter, his member somehow still notched at your entrance and the new angle rousing a quiet moan from you. When he ultimately pulls away, you pitch forward to chase after his lips, but Sam only grants you a devilish grin and a quick peck to the corner of your mouth before moving down to your jaw and neck. While one palm kneads at your breast through his shirt, the other begins pushing and pulling at fabric to uncover more of your skin for his wandering lips.

“Sam! Augh!” you cry out as your head falls back.

“I got you, baby. I’m all yours. Gonna make you feel so good.” As if to attest his words, he rolls his hips into yours and a needy whimper escapes you. With your fingers still twisted in his hair, Sam leaves no part of you untouched as his mouth travels down your body. But upon reaching your navel, he pauses, those vivid, color-changing eyes peeping up at you to check for any signs of discomfort or objection. Finding none, his thick tongue pokes out to lick a deliriously winding path from your belly button to your exposed clit. Then, pushing down tenderly on the insides of your knees to open you up to him, Sam directs you one last look that is both hungry and reverent, “I still can’t believe this is mine.”

Dean had stopped you halfway through your recollection, but it appears that was still too much for him, “What did I do to deserve this?! I feel like I need to go bathe in holy water for a week.”

You and Sam both open your mouths to respond but Dean cuts you off vehemently, “Ba-da-da-da!” His vocalized outcry is complete with animated gestures featuring an accusing index finger. “OK, before you two tell me another traumatizing story, that’s enough of the who, what, when, where, and how… I just need to know why. I mean, is this- are you- …?”

Sensing the protective wheels turning in his head, you decide to put Dean out his misery, “I’m not just with Sam because he’s an incredible lay if that’s what you’re wondering. We can skip the fatherly ‘what are your intentions’ talk. Yes, Dean, I am in love with your little brother… although ‘little’ is not exactly the word I’d use to describe him.”

“Sammy, could you please control your woman?”

“My woman?” Sam sounds mostly amused but you’re almost certain you can hear a hint of pride in his voice.

“Yeah, I admit I’m surprised I didn’t see it until now. You two are kinda oddly perfect for each other, you know, in a weird, kinky way.”

“To be honest, we’re pretty surprised too. I mean, he doesn’t look it but this guy is kind of territorial,” you quip whilst cocking a thumb in Sam’s direction.

“I don’t need to- Wait a minute, so all those bruises you told me were from hunts?” Dean’s eyebrows soar towards his hairline.

Chewing on your lip, you confirm his hypothesis with a miniscule nod.

“Yeah well that time you saw my back,” Sam chimes in vengefully, casting you a handsome grin full of mischief as he reveals, “that wasn’t a werewolf, that was Y/N.”

With eyes as round as dinner plates, Dean frantically shuts you both down, “OK, that’s it. Torture Dean time is over. I don’t wanna hear any more about your depraved sex lives! Look, I guess I’m happy for you guys, although mostly cause I don’t have to play referee anymore, but I’m gonna need you to follow some ground rules around here. Like rule number one! No sex in public places!” he starts counting with his fingers, “Always put a sock on it when you’re busy! And most importantly, no sex in Baby!”

Your laughter follows Dean as he wearily saunters out of the kitchen, an exhausted expression on his face. Turning to your newly outed boyfriend, you petition excitedly, “Does this mean we can have shower sex now?”

“Not while I’m around!” comes Dean’s snappy answer.

In contrast, Sam gives you the same look he did on that dreamy morning, “Oh trust me baby girl, I’m gonna get you wet somehow.”

“Still within hearing distance! I think I liked it better when you guys were at each other’s throats.”

As you’re giggling, Sam leans down to whisper in your ear, “For the record, I’m in love with you too.” And just like that, you’re tempted to re-enact your previous kitchen escapades.

TEAM IDJITS: @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @carryonmywaywardbucky​ @swiftlymoniquesblog​ @moosewinchester​ @sams-sass​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ @jotink78​ @winifrede​ @writingforthelonelysoul​ @turtletaylor98​ @lyarr24​ @deanwanddamons​ @peridottea91​ @tvdspngirl314​

TEAM MOOSE: @paulaern​

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[harrywritingsbyme]

Y/N roleplaying as Harry’s maid!

Dress Up

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

This One Too

Anonymous Said: U should Highkey write a boot humping one jeez

A/N: I feel like roleplaying is kinda duh with Harry. Like of course that man would have you in different costumes as he pounds the living shit out of you...and that's hot as fuck😗👉🏾👈🏾so I wrote something about it. Enjoy🙃

Almost 4k words

Roleplaying is definitely something that you and Harry are very familiar with and very fond of. When the idea of dressing up and stepping into a role of someone else while pleasuring each other first came up, both you and Harry weren’t against it in the slightest. The both of you are always interested in trying new things out in the bedroom, so when roleplaying came up, you and Harry were nothing short of excited and openminded to giving it a try. And let’s just say that the excitement didn’t stop at the simple idea of it all. Once you and Harry gave roleplaying a shot, you guys were absolutely hooked. You two were so obsessed with roleplaying that you went as far as to create a list of all the different scenes and roles the two of you wanted to play. The sex was already amazingly fun and spicy. Roleplaying just added another, and very welcomed layer of fun and spice to you and Harry’s incredibly active sex life.

And as the two of you continued on your journey through roleplaying, you began to add things on and make the experiences ten times better than they already were. For instance, instead of having an isolated event of you and Harry roleplaying in the bedroom (or out in public sometimes if you two were feeling extra frisky), the two of you would prolong things and stretch it out to carry you both through the entire day. Along with this, you and Harry also decided to add some pieces of clothing to the mix. Either you or Harry would find costumes online that were perfect for the roles you two were dying to play and neither of you could say no to a costume for you guys’ roleplaying so there was no time wasted in purchasing the costumes. They were all so cute and sexy that you were absolutely in love with them. You were so in love that you were willing to play the same roles again just so you could wear the cute little outfit. Harry of course didn’t mind this one bit since you looked absolutely amazing in them, and he’d be flipping it up or ripping it off of your body anyway to be inside of you. 

You guys’ newfound ritual of roleplaying was something that you two couldn’t get enough of.

This morning you and Harry were making light conversation during your post deliciously sloppy morning sex cuddles and the topic of you guys’ conversation managed to shift into the topic of possibly roleplaying for the day. You had some things that you wanted to get done around the house, and Harry had some work that needed to get done as well so the two of you figured that it would be nice to spend the day roleplaying a bit.

About two weeks ago, Harry had ordered a costume for you and it finally came in the mail a couple days earlier. As the two of you were crossing off the different scenarios for you two to try out, you and Harry saw that you roleplaying as his maid was next up on the list. So he decided to task himself with finding the best maid outfit on the market. He scoured the internet using the keywords slutty maid costume and sexy maids outfit to find the best one for you. Eventually he was able to find the best maid costume out there. It wasn’t by any means appropriate, but it did manage to leave something to the imagination. It was a tight little black and white dress with ruffles and frills that ended right below the lower curve of your ass. There was barely a top, perfect for your cleavage to spill out and ultimately pop out while you take care of your duties around the home. The frilly black and white skirt barely stopped below your ass, perfect for showcasing your thighs and perfect for Harry to have easy access for when he wanted to take you. 

Since the two of you talked it over numerous times and you’ve given him the privilege to take you whenever and however he wanted with the only stipulation being that the safe word would immediately stop it all, Harry was making sure that he was taking complete advantage of this opportunity you’ve given him.

 Now the previous details of the dress were great, but this outfit in particular had a unique detail that was the ultimate selling point for Harry. The entire dress would be secured onto your body by means of a pattern of laces that ran up the back of this costume. This meant that if you were walking away, Harry could simply latch onto the satin laces, yank you back towards him, and take you right then and there. Before placing the order, Harry decided to throw in a pair of white thigh high stockings with cute little bows on the top band. He knew you’d appreciate that little detail. He also throws in a shiny steel princess plug with a black jewel on top to complete the entire look. After a little over a week, the items finally arrive at your doorstep and now it was time to put them all to use. 

Since you two were all in, Harry decided to add something to add something else to them mix. Since he had some work that needed to be taken care of and he was playing the role of your boss, Harry figured that he’d dress the part as well. So to add onto his role of your boss, he decided to throw on a simple pair of slacks and a crisp white button down. He wanted to make his power known to you and really immerse you both into this new world that you were creating.

Once the two of you are all showered and cleaned up, the two of you go into your own separate spaces to get ready for your day. Before you put your “clothes” on though, you have to lay yourself across Harry’s lap so that he could push the plug into you. You were capable of doing it all by yourself, it’s just that you loved when Harry did it. He’d call you his good girl and tell you how pretty you looked with your princess hole plugged. Anyways, once you’re all plugged, Harry helps you up from his lap and he sends you on your way to get dressed. But before you’re completely out of sight, Harry instructs you to leave the panties behind. That was going to make it even harder! How in the world were you supposed to hold his cum inside of you, which you knew for a fact he was going to make you do, without any panties?! It was already hard enough with them, let alone without. This was going to be a very interesting day. You delicately roll the pretty white stockings up both of your legs and you take a moment to appreciate the cute frilly bands with the little bows before putting your shoes on. Even though you were trying to bring on the sex, you were not about to do housework in a pair of heels. So Harry was just going to have to accept you and your converses. And it wasn’t like they were that noticeable, they matched the whole black and white thing you had going on so it wouldn’t be that bad. Once you’re all laced and dolled up, you slip the dress onto your body. Even though it wasn’t snug yet, you had to give Harry credit for this one. You loved how cute yet sexy it was on your body.

“I need help.” You softly announce, stepping back into the shared space of you guys’ bedroom. When your voice rings through Harry’s ears, he’s quick to turn in your direction. And as soon as he does, he is completely locked in on you. Everything he picked out was just the way he imagined it’d look on your body (minus the dress at this point of course).

“C’mere.” Harry beckons, waving his hand over for you to come over to him. You swiftly walk over to him and turn around so that he could take care of the back of your dress. Without saying a word, Harry begins to adjust and tighten the satin laces. “Look so good baby.” He mutters lowly behind you, continuing to focus on fastening your dress.

“Thanks.” You reply simply. After a few more pulls and adjustments, Harry was tying the laces into a little bow at the bottom of the upper part of the dress.

“Alright, now let me see you.” Harry says, moving his hands to your waist to turn you around to face him. With the costume properly on your body, he was able to see all of things he was looking forward to seeing when he ordered it online. Your breasts were pushed up on the verge of spilling out the way he hoped and he was very much looking forward to watching them move around a bit as he fucked into you. He then shifts his attention a bit lower and before you know it, he’s bringing his and up under your skirt to see whether or not you followed his instructions. When he feels that you’re completely bare and not wearing any panties, he gives you a little pinch and brings his hand away from you. “Look so good babydoll, just wanna bend you over and tear into that pussy.” Harry grumbles down to you. He knew you’d look good, he wasn’t expecting this though. 

“Whatever you want sir, have t’make the bed anyways.” You comply submissively. And with that, you’re being spun around and pushed down onto the bed. Harry is quick to undo his pants and pull out his hard cock before kneeling onto the bed behind you. He flips up the bottom of your skirt to expose your plugged hole and your sopping wet pussy. As Harry takes in the sight before him, his hand subconsciously begins to tug at his solid shaft. He quickly snaps out of his trance and spits down onto your pussy. He uses the head of his cock to smear it all over you before pushing into your weepy and velvety hole. As he pushes into your cunt, you let out the loudest moans and whimpers possible. It didn’t matter how many times Harry fucked you into oblivion, you were never going to fully adjust to his cock. You could feel him invading your walls and stretching them to fit his large cock as he pushed himself all the way into you. 

“Who would’ve thought that my little maid has such a pretty little pussy.” Harry grunts, pushing the rest of the way in and settling into the deepest part of your body. “If you’re a good fuck I might just keep you around.” Harry grumbles, pulling his hips back from you. And within a split second, they’re slamming right back into you. From that point on, he doesn’t stop. He continuously slams into you over and over again, not once stopping to let you adjust.  Even though there wasn’t a little window for  adjustment, it still felt so good. The way he was just pounding into your pussy without giving you a second thought was insane. You loved the way he was using you for his pleasure. As he continued to pound into you, you could feel him nudging at the pit of your stomach and slamming into your sweet spot all at once, shoving you close me to the edge with every thrust. His cock wasn’t the only thing pushing you closer and closer to your release though. His words were also doing a number on you. He was constantly calling you his pretty little fuck toy and making it known that he controlled you.

As Harry fucked into your pussy, he couldn’t stop thinking about all the things he wanted to do to you today. He wanted to make you do any and everything he said when he said it and he wanted to make a full blown mess out of you. He also wanted the area between your delicious thighs to stay sticky and always ready for him.

“Now what’s your purpose?” Harry grunts, sending one hard thrust into you and staying there until you answered.

“To serve you!” You cry out to him, tightly gripping onto the sheets. 

“That’s right. And what’s my name?” He asks, lifting his hand to deliver one swift blow to your backside.

“Mr. Styles!” You whimper out to him from the sting of that hard slap.

“M’gonna have so much fun with you.” He growls before continuing on with his thrusts. You were so close and Harry could feel it. He could feel your walls clenching up around his cock and he could hear your whimpers become shakier. This was pushing Harry right to the edge and he was about to topple over. “Don’t cum until I say so.” He shudders, sending one final thrust into you and releasing his seed inside your walls. You listen to him pant behind you as he pulls himself together from his release. 

Once he’s calmed down, he pulls his cock from you, wiping any left over cum that was on his cock onto your ass. Before standing from the bed to redo his pants,  he leans down to press a kiss to your neck and he tells you that he loves you. He always did that in the beginning of any type of roleplaying between the two of you. He did that because it could get pretty intense and he wants to make sure you know that he loves you and that he’s just playing a character. He then gets up and does his pants and everything back up before making his way out of the room. Before leaving you alone, he stops to make his first “official request” of you. 

“Don’t lay there too long, you have a job to do. And change the sheets while you’re at it, don’t want a cum stained duvet on my bed.” He orders before heading out of the bedroom and to his office downstairs, leaving you limp in the bed with his cum leaking out of you and a release still bubbling in the pit of your stomach. 

It was going to be a really long day. 

And it was. After Harry gave you a list of things to do (even though you had already planned on doing them), you went on your way and worked. As you did so, Harry’d come around and find you, inspecting your work and pointing out what you’d miss. When you went to go fix your mistake, he’d start to touch you. He’d push his hand down the top of your dress and squeeze your breasts. He’d leave kisses and suck marks into your neck. He’d reach up under your dress to move your princess plug around, telling you that if you did the job right he’d pour some of his cum inside. He would even wrap a hand around your throat, tight enough so his rings made little indentations in your skin, and then he’d spit into your mouth. This wasn’t even the half of it. These were innocent in comparison to the other things he’d do to you. Sometimes he’d quietly come up behind you and just push two fingers into you (even though he knew that you were constantly wet, he still sucked on them just in case. He wanted you to be comfortable.). He’d finger you so good and bring you to the brink of your release just to stop. He would also thrust up into you through his pants and pretend like he was fucking you. He’d do this because that’s what you wanted. You were constantly wanting his cock and in this situation, he had the sole power to give it to you. Amongst his many antics, Harry would also order you down onto your knees and make you suck his cock. He’d pinch your nose and thrust his cock into your mouth. He’d mock you and ask if your pretty little throat needed a break, when you nod yes, he’d simply reply with a too bad and go back to making you gag and choke on him. Once he finally came, your pussy was on the verge of exploding, your throat was a little sore, your eyes were watery, and your mouth was overflowing with your saliva and his cum. This all lasted for a good couple of hours before up until the time Harry had designated to stop working for the day. 

When it was getting closer to that time, you made sure that you were standing in the doorway of his office just like he’d instructed you earlier. And you stood there quietly until he gave you further instructions, you didn’t want to get punished.

“Crawl.” Harry simply says, keeping his attention focused on the computer screen. When you hear him say that, you immediately drop to your hands and knees and you begin to crawl over to him. When you round his desk, you see him turned outwards towards you with one of his feet pushed outward in your direction. “Now I have a quick meeting I have to go to. You’re allowed to hump it all you want, but if I feel like you’re too loud I’m gonna make you hold my cock in your throat for as long as I want. Understand?” Harry explains. 

“Yes sir!” You promptly reply you were in need of some type of friction down there. You’d take anything, even if it was just his boot. 

“Good, and no cumming.” Harry replies before shifting his attention away from you. You then waste no time straddling his boot. It felt so good to have something between your legs again. During the entire meeting you were trying hard to stifle your moans and whimpers. Periodically, Harry’d look down and watch you hump his boot. He couldn’t help but mentally coo at how adorable you looked. You were a needy little thing, clinging onto his leg as you humped his shoe in hopes of some form of relief. The meeting lasts for a good 20 minuets, giving you the perfect amount of time to pleasure yourself.

What you didn’t know was that you’d be able to pleasure yourself even more.

“Y/n” Harry calls down to you to stop your movements, but you didn’t stop. You were so caught up in how good his boot felt against your pussy that you weren’t even paying attention to him. “Y/n” Harry calls out again, this time reaching down to tap your cheek. When you perk up to look at him, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing a little. You were so adorable. “Now you still have some things that need to get done. But since you worked so hard today, m’gonna let you ride m’cock. Is that fine with you?” Harry asks. The question was bordering condescending since he already knew the answer. You were humping his boot for goodness sake!

“More than fine sir! Thank you.” You reply graciously.

“Don’t thank me, just do it.” Harry replies nonchalantly, picking up his book from the desk to pick up where he left off. While he’s reading his book, you undo his pants and you pull them down with a little help from Harry. Once his pants are down and his cock is out, you straddle him and you wrap your hand around his girth shaft. Since he was so big, you often struggled with taking him on your own. Whenever he fucked you, he’d push into you all at once. But since you were in control so to speak, you had the power to pace yourself. And this is what Harry wanted. Whenever you had the power, you always took forever to get on his cock, you always fought with it and tried your hardest to take him inside. So while your fighting, he just passes the time with his book. After a while of listening to your whimpers and cries as his cock pierces into your weepy hole, you finally take all of him inside. His eyes dart up from the pages of his book to your face to see how proud you were for taking all of him.

“S’all inside! I did it!” You announce softly, yet excitedly.

“Good for you, now ride it.” Harry hums, keeping his eyes on the pages. He likes a little bit of background noise so having you bouncing on his cock and crying was a nice tune to cut the silence. As you get more and more comfortable, you begin to get a little rhythm going. You were so happy with the way you were taking his cock and you were feeling so good. Harry could see and hear that. And yes he was glad that you were feeling good on his cock, but he wanted you to be a bit of a mess. So as he continues to read, he thrusts up into you, screwing up the entire rhythm you had going. When you feel him go deep inside pf you like that you instantly yell out to him and push down on his stomach. 

“Sir, too deep!” You whimper, beginning to pull away from him. But Harry was quick to nip that in the bud. 

“If you try take me out, so help me I’m going to read this whole book, and the entire time I do you’re gonna sit here and not cum. Do I make myself clear little girl?” Harry grumbles, keeping his eyes on the pages. 

“Yes sir.” You moan, continuing to move up and down on him. Since you’d been holding your releases all day and you weren’t allowed to touch yourself, you’d built up a ginormous release that was bound to over power you. As your movements continue, you feel yourself getting closer and closer. You try to hold back but it’s no use. Your release completely takes over your entire being and it catapults you off of the edge. “Oh my-“ You gasp, feeling your hot juices gush out of you. It felt incredible to finally let go and just feel your release(s). When Harry sees and hears you cumming, he’s upset. He specifically told you not to cum. 

“You little slut.” Harry grumbles, snapping his book shut and placing it onto the desk behind you.  “Did you just fucking cum?” He grumbles, looking towards you for an answer. 

“Mhm.” You whimper in response, still trembling from you seismic release. 

“Did you just fucking cum?!” Harry growls again, bringing his hand up to squeeze your throat. If you weren’t going to use your breath and answer his question, he was going to take it from you.

“Yes sir.” You gasp, your eyes widening at his tight grip.

“I want you to get off my cock and get back to work you aren’t getting anything now.” He growls to you authoritatively, letting go of your throat and pushing back as he does this to signal for you to get up. “And crawl on your way out.” He continues.

 He then sends you a quick wink and smirk to let you know that it wasn’t Harry talking, it was Mr. Styles. This wink was also telling you that he was going to fuck you later.

 Masterlist

[cosmicclownboy]

hi- why don't you like Maria?

Oh lord.

Where do I even begin with Maria.

Season 1

Makes a joke about Alex's secret relationship being with Wyatt and finding it funny- (Wyatt who is an abusive racist dude who commits hate crimes and bear in mind she knows Alex was abused for being gay) IT'S GROSS.

Speaks about Alex's secret relationship guy being his home to Alex and literally feels his hopefulness because it is part of her alien ability and continues to pursue Michael in s2.

Maria (straight) outs Michael to Liz. That's not okay on any level.

When Liz tells Maria to speak to Alex before doing anything she ignores the advice and does what she wants.

She's really smug about Michael picking/pursuing her like she won.

Season 2

Pursues Michael at a funeral in front of Alex without talking to him.

Makes Michael's loved ones husband funeral about a relationship status

Slut shames a random woman who makes out with Michael when they were never exclusive

Enters a relationship with Michael where he has to be exclusive but she doesn't because she doesn't believe he could be faithful. That's reeks of harmful biphobia stereotypes.

Ignores Alex the whole time UNTIL she needs something.

When she appears at Alex's door she says they are even. AKA comparing Alex not telling her a secret that wasn't his to share to her pursuing the love of his life in front of him without any empathy and ignoring the whole time.

Bitches to Alex about Liz and wanting fuck all to do with her. Alex has to remind her Liz has a dead boyfriend and is struggling cause Maria only has Maria vision and lacks empathy for her 'best friends'.

Uses her mom's laptop to get the scope on Alex/Michael's relationship which reads 100% manipulative. She even says Michael is pushing you away and then proceeds to encourage the narrative where Michael pushes Alex away because she suddenly wants Michael. And of course Alex is supportive she recognises he lacks self worth and rolls over him.

Beginning of 2x06 she tries to set up Forlex to get Alex away from Michael. Once again manipulative.

Tries to make Alex feel guilty for being gay in 206 because when she was a kid she idealised being with him and had to come up with a whole new plan. He grew up in an abusive household you know that....It's not okay to say that. You know how much internalised homophobia he has.

When saying he's had good relationships provides only examples of relationships with women......................HE IS GAY.

Asks him if he would change being gay.......jfc.

Alex tearfully saying he dissociates with women because he clearly forced himself to out of internalised phobia, Maria takes it to mean she has a chance. She thinks she's the exception since a touch starved abuse victim liked to be touched by her in high school. That doesn't = consent.

When Alex, a whole ass Airforce Captain tells her it's unsafe to stay at the creepo's place she acts all I am feminist about it and this results in Alex being stabbed and Michael getting whacked on the head.

Earlier in the episode she whinges to Alex about Michael kissing another woman in front of her and how cruel it was and then proceeds to kiss Michael in front of Alex KNOWING how he feels for Michael.

In THAT scene it's clear she notices Michael's emotions towards Alex and is insecure about it. She uses Malex's feelings for each other to her advantage. She's chasing the fantasy of getting with Alex. These are two highly traumatised queer men who struggle to say no because they spent their lives in abusive environments.

Neither Michael or Alex were in a position to consent to sex that night Michael is concussed from a whack on the head . Alex has lost a lot of blood and is completely out of it. And neither would ever initiate that situation. Not to mention the assumption Michael would be down because he's bi is so harmful as a stereotype.

"I think she’s cool with her decision. She wanted some answers, so subconsciously there was an emotional comfort she needed. But she also had a little bit of an agenda. She needed some decisions made about the status of their relationships, so she thought, “Let’s throw everything against the wall and see where it lands.” I think she was just wondering if they made any progress on that front. She said it was OK for their feelings to be out in the open, but let’s just voice them for what they are. As we saw, Michael stepped up and was like, “No, I still love you and I’m with you.” Secretly, that’s what Maria was hoping for. By suggesting a threesome, she’s was basically telling Michael, “Make your choice… and I hope it’s me.” this is what Heather said about the scene. So not only was it coercive and such but she used her best friend like that with no care or empathy whatsoever. It's disgraceful.

The next day both Michael and Alex are confused by what the fuck happened. Alex due to his C-PTSD completely dissociates from the situation and Michael attempts to laugh it off despite him being hella confused. The only person who isn't confused is Maria who is listening to them from inside.

When Michael comes in she turns on the tears just in case he does want Alex afterwards. Bear in mind she is a psychic who can feel everything and she assumed Michael was going to go after Alex. Doesn't that say it all. SHE KNOWS MICHAEL IS IN LOVE WITH ALEX AND VICE VERSA. She does not care, because at the end of the day this is what she wants. She wants to win. She wants to treat Michael like this trophy that she can show off to people I got the great Michael Guerin not a relationship guy to date me.

When Michael wants to have emotional conversations she shuts it down for sex. The entirety of the relationship it has to be her way or the high way. She also recognises fairly on his abandonment issues and plays upon it, reads manipulative.

When Michael who has lost his mom and brother in the span of a few months asks Maria to be more careful about her abilities she doesn't listen. And ultimately breaks up with Michael when she can't get what she wants from him which is a yes man who will do what she says and isn't the idealised Michael she wants.

Season 3

Shits on Michael any chance she gets. She's so mean to him and he goes out of his way to look out for her.

Is dismissive of her own health despite the fact that everybody goes out of their way to help her. Liz is in California working on a way to help her. Kyle is risking his job.etc

Is fine with Liz, her best friend losing the love of her life to get a vision to prevent a murder. A vision she's only invested in because apparently in it she blames herself.

Is fine with Max or Kyle dealing with the guilt of her death had Michael not saved her.

Shoves Michael and belittles him because he's stronger then her. Infers he just sits on his ass and does nothing therefore does not care about anything....rude. There's also a weird superiority complex that her power is more important then Michaels or any of pod squad for that matter.

Creates a situation that is so bad that Kyle risks his doctors licence to give her adrenaline. Just take an ice bath or something there are a 1000 ways to give yourself adrenaline without risking your life and risking others.

Doesn't thank or acknowledge what Liz is doing for her honey has spent a FULL YEAR of her life trying to help and your just like yeah I'll let her soulmate die for my visions.

Emotionally guilts Isobel for not hanging out with her despite the fact she's hated her for two seasons and now has just randomly decided she wants to know......okay

This idea that Maria is suddenly lonely when she's the second of the main cast (first being Kyle) to have scenes with all the mains by Monday. Literally everyone is there at her beck and call but Maria is lonely??? IT DOESN'T ADD UP. Everyone's up her arse 9/10 how is she lonely everyone expresses concern and care for her ALL THE DAMN TIME. She's also narratively never had scenes that give the connotation that she is lonely. Michael has scenes that connotate he is lonely. Max and Alex do too. Maria has yet to have scenes that give the connotation of feeling lonely or depressed.

Maria comparing the alien siblings to her and feeling left out when she acts superior to them and they are literally siblings. Literally every character is somewhat left out with Pod Squad they've lived their lives assuming it's just them three against the world it's not a personal attack.

Maria is 1/8 alien at best so diluted genetically it doesn't show up and somehow she believes she has the capability of the aliens who are 100%. Say you have French DNA you don't expect to speak French suddenly.

This whole Maria never does wrong narrative and it's empowering that she's doing all of this just feels like a crock of shit tbh.

She reads like a 2000's movie mean girl.

All of my bullet points are why I don't like h Maria and it's not biased because I'm a so and so fan. Narratively she just wins up doing shitty things to Michael and Alex the most.

[syubub]

What makes BTS most vulnerable

Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!

I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.

Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

So so so so

First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!

Let's start with the group first

So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.

All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?

I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.

The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)

Seokjin

This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.

As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.

As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.

What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)

Yoongi

????

Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?

Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?

Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.

As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.

Hoseok

This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.

And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.

This exposes him to depression and doubt.

Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.

Namjoon

Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.

So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.

So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?

Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?

As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.

As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.

Jimin

Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.

How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.

As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.

Taehyung

Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.

As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.

Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.

Jungkook

So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.

How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.

The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.

Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.

With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.

The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?

For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?

As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!

~~~~~~~

I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?

My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!

[hazbinheadcanons]

Hazbin but Vaggie and Alastor had a past together. "Oh how I missed you my dear. You were so very entertaining during our deal." Thankfully her debt of servitude (helping him cause chaos but she hated hurting others) to him was paid before she met Charlie all those years ago. He was reluctant to free her but he was a man of his word. Thats why she begs Charlie to not make a deal with him. She made the same mistake long ago.

"Don't make a deal with him, he's evil... "

"don't worry vaggie, you know i can handle this”

“but...”

“don't worry! as my father said “you don't take shit from other demons” besides we need all the help we can get”

pausing and seeing her worried face she hugged vaggie quickly before turning back towards the radio demon, she had heard many stories about him especially from vaggie. she needs to think wisely on how to proceed with this deal so it doesn't backfire on her project. 

humming silently she looked towards the demon and looked back at vaggie based on their history she shouldn't be near him at all, how could she use him to their advantage? there was no way she would make a deal with him like vaggie had. how many years would she be tied to him if she did? or could this be a bigger plot and he goes after her family? 

Guarantee she would be a bigger disgrace, maybe her father would finally disown her after  she couldn't even run a hotel on her own and decided to get help from one of the most dangerous sinners in the pride ring known for trickery.  

this is a mistake waiting to happen, she subconsciously knew this fact but who else was going to help to start up the hotel? she and vaggie couldn't do everything and angel only did what he wanted. but she also remembered how scared and alone vaggie was, attacking anyone who got too close and always checking to make sure everything was safe.  the hidden trauma from serving the radio demon still took over sometimes, her fear of men especially but what else could the princess do? she never had this fear always turning to positivity to push her through all the negativity thrown her way “disappointment” “a failure” “ You must feel really stupid right now."

Deciding where to go next was so difficult! Choose to accept his help or struggle to get the hotel running, neither option could guarantee the hotels success. She couldnt just allow him near vaggie it wasn't fair to let her suffer being in his presence again but a small selfish part of her wanted to accept his offer and get the hotel running. She wished her mother had answered her call some advice would have been great but she understands that her mother was busy and she couldn't call her father it would be an "I told you so" how she wished their fight hadn't ended the way it has. He definitely would know what to

The pressure of her decision was being thrusted into these next critical moments “okay Al you’re sketchy as fuck...and you clearly see everything I'm trying to do here as a joke"

[demigoddreamer]

Addressing Batman’s Abuse

Damian: I killed someone

Bruce(and the rest of the batfamily but mostly bruce): It’s ok it’s because of your childhood, you were raised to be an assassin as long as you didn’t murder anyone innocent and do better next time

Dick: I killed someone

Bruce: well i saved them didn’t count bye

Tim: I killed someone

Bruce: Seriously Tim? ok I’m kinda disappointed but i’ll be ok in a little bit(actually idk cause I can’t recall if tim ever killed someone)

Jason: I killed someone

Bruce: HOW DARE YOU BREAK THE NO KILL RULE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF **** WE HAVE MORALS YOU’RE JUST ANOTHER CRIMINAL, A MURDERER, A MONSTER YOU LET THEM WIN IF YOU KILL

Alright enough with the jokes let’s get serious, let’s talk about the abuse. I have a lot to unpack and if you’re like me who doesn’t have the patience to read long things if they don’t matter then i’m sorry . I can read school stuff but fanfiction more than like 30 chapters irritates me which is stupid because I love to read but the human brain is A FUCKING ANNOYING HYPOCRITE. I love the batbros with all my heart and we hate to see bad stuff happen to them. but Bruce...he can get away with hurting the people who he should see as sons and who in turn consider him a father figure. He is essentially taking advantage of their love for his cause. Because the most important thing is batman and the mission which he will hold above his own children, the people in his life who care about him and support him in his insane crusade. Batman is someone who is consumed by this darkness that causes him to sacrifice everything for the mission. It is stated multiple times that his Robins are supposed to be better than him, they’re not needed as assistants in the battlefield but rather emotional support as they bring a little light to Bruce's pain and vengeful darkness. The Robins become better people than Bruce. 

There are obvious examples of Bruce’s abuse such as his second Robin now Red Hood Jason Todd. Now I may be biased as he is my favorite but I love all the robins dearly so FREAKING much. Jason is constantly remembered as Batman’s greatest failure. Why is that? we are led to believe it’s because Bruce didn’t save him but really it’s because Jason didn’t fall in line with Batman’s code which is where we see the flaws in Batman’s philosophy. Why doesn’t Batman just kill the Joker? Jason makes some very valid points saying that all Joker does is cause pain and he keeps breaking out of prison and causing more pain and it’s a vicious cycle, a revolving door that Batman refuses to end. Joker and Batman are almost obsessed with each other. But Batman refuses to kill Joker saying if he does he can’t come back and Joker will win. It’s a war between numbers and moral high ground. But in reality who cares if Joker wins? It’s vague what does it even mean? Joker keeps on killing and if he was gone the world would be safer? It doesn’t matter if he wins as long as people live. Jason Todd is someone who is constantly hurt by the people who are supposed to love him. An example of this is Batman choosing to save Joker rather than his own son in the Under the Red Hood storyline. Jason is clearly heartbroken over the fact that Bruce refuses to kill the person who MURDERED HIM saying “I thought I’d be the last person you ever let him hurt” Jason obviously has lots of trauma PTSD depression and he probably just wants to feel safe pleading with Bruce to just kill Joker that’s it saying “doing it because he took me away from you” which Batman refuses just saying I can’t. 

Now there’s other instances that make my blood boil such as Batman and Robin #20. Damian died in Batman Inc. and obviously since Bruce can’t ever deal with pain in a healthy constructive way, he goes full dark and rage and sadness. He becomes desperate to bring Damian back, being abusive to Tim even when Batman tried to experiment on Frankenstein to bring Damian back and Tim blew the lab up. But Jason...oh god...Bruce wants Jason on a mission in Ethiopia to bring the people who tried to kill Damian justice . (Talia put a bounty on his head) and then Jason agreed, excited at the chance of working with someone he considers a father again. Jason has ceased his killing he has calmed down from when he tried to hurt them all, his mind was damaged by the lazarus pit and he went insane with pain and rage. From my pseudo psychologist perspective I think he thought hurting them would make his pain cease if he tried to hurt the things that caused his pain it would fix him. Anyway Jason is on kinder terms with them but it’s still rough. They’re not all that kind with him sure he’s made mistakes but they all have and he’s really sorry about it. Anyway after taking those bad guys down they talk about family and trust and faith. Then...Bruce does it and reveals the real reason why they came to Ethiopia. Bruce wanted to bring Jason to the place he DIED. WHERE THERE IS A BUTT TON OF TRAUMA. Jason is just so shocked at first he stands there looking numb. He isn't even angry yet. He stands there feeling the pain of that horrible day saying”You lied to me. this wasn't about taking down those mercenaries. You wanted to bring me here..to the worst place in the world...and here I was starting to believe all your crap about trust and faith” He sounds broken which he is he’s been broken by so many people and now Bruce who isn’t supposed to break him just did by taking advantage of him and bringing him to somewhere of horrible trauma. Bruce reveals that he brought Jason here so he could figure out how to bring Damian back to life explaining “Those killers were the mission but this was something else something I couldn’t ignore I thought bringing you here could jog your memory-maybe retrieve a buried buried deep in your subconscious that could help piece together how you came to life so I” and Jason finishes this saying “-could apply it to getting Damian back. Yeah I get it. Did it ever occur to you I might like keeping whatever the hell happened to me buried deep?”Obviously, Jason doesn’t want to relieve his trauma, he doesn’t want to deal with what happened to him a second time. He just wants to move on but Bruce won’t let him. Bruce doesn’t seem to acknowledge Jason’s trauma nor does he seem to care for his well being. “If you cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to dredge up the one thing I've been trying to forget. I don’t want to remember the most horrific day of my life, all right? You may like wallowing in your tragedies but I’m done looking back” which is true all Batman does is sit in the pain of his parents death and he can’t heal like and he spreads pain to others at this rate the dead parents excuse gets a little old. BUT THEN BRUCE HAS THE AUDACITY TO SAY “If you cared about me and what I’ve lost, you’d want to dredge this up! Don’t you see-there’s a chance you can help me erase one of the worst days of my life. You can give me the greatest gift of all and help me figure out how to bring my son back!” Here he uses a lot of pronouns referring to himself, CARED ABOUT ME, I’VE LOST, HELP ME, MY LIFE, GIVE ME, HELP ME, MY SON. Yes Bruce, make it all about you, cause we definitely want you too. You’re a grown ass man and Jason is the more mature person here, honestly all the Robins learn to process grief and heal and grow and they’re just generally better people. Bruce is basically saying I care more about Damian than I care about you and my needs are greater than yours so screw your feelings, your feelings don’t matter. He really only seems to care about himself and he wants to erase his own pain. He doesn’t even seem to consider what Damian would want and what being brought back to life would do to him. Jason knows what it’s like, the pain of it, he’s probably the only person who would understand why someone wouldn’t want to come back. After All of this Bruce doesn’t even apologize and makes some half assed promise for unconditional truth but Jason still accepts this and helps Bruce get Damian’s body back from Darkseid even though he didn’t have to. 

Also there’s battle of the cowl which I desperately try to ignore but what I can tell Bruce *cough* died *cough* at this rate whenever Bruce dies or some crap I’m like ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT??? But sorry back to the topic. Bruce had a message for Jason for everyone else was just like I hope you’re doing well I love y’all live your life for JASON HOWEVER. He was all like you’re a failure not because I didn’t save you but because I don’t like how you turned out. Also you have problems, you’re mentally ill(I know but don’t have to be so awful about it)and there’s a secret I shouldn’t have kept and bye. And he suggests help but WHY DIDN’T HE GET JASON HELP WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER HMMMMM? It’s so obvious Jason’s childhood is full of abuse of course he has bad mental health and all that jazz. Also he puts Jason in Arkham where the Joker is 5 DOORS DOWN. I don’t think I have to say anything but they could literally put him in ANY OTHER PRISON. Why this one idk?

Bruce beat Jason and was probably about to kill Jason in RHATO #25. All beacuse Jason shot penguin and since Red Hood is a criminal blah blah blah Bruce has to do something. Actually he doesn’t as he just assumes Jason killed him which he didn’t also he didn’t seem to consider mind control or clones or whatever and he thought it was a good idea to beat the crap out of his sons. Jason even points this out”You are a character, I’ve never seen you beat Joker that hard and you hate him”...Bruce is beating him harder than the Joker. BRUCE IS BEATING HIS GODDAMN SON, SO HE HATES HIS SON MORE THAN JOKER??? Here we see how Bruce constantly chooses Joker over Jason.

Let's also talk about Dick his first son (I love my circus boi). After Jason died *sob*(i’m gonna cry) Dick is pretty darn sad and Bruce didn’t tell him shit so he’s obv like hey what’s the deal and BRUCE HAS THE AUDACITY TO BE MAD AT DICK. and he tries to kick Dick out of his life and be like leave your key get outta my face and he punched Dick LIKE BOI YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM ABOUT THE FUNERAL OR THE FACE THAT JASON DIED. We already knew it was bad because Bruce and Dick argued like my parents argue which is pretty bad. Lo and behold Bruce doesn’t apologize.

Also Nightwing #30 after Dick was outed as Nightwing and fake died on telelvision. Bruce used like WAAAAAAY excessive force. They were sparring but it got real violent real fast. And Nightwing wasn’t in the right mindset he was traumatized and Bruce totally took advantage of him by asking him to work for Spyral which Dick obv didn’t want to do but Bruce fucking FORCED that crap onto him after something as awful as that and he probably knew Dick would give in eventually that bastard. No, Bruce doesn’t apologize either.

Most recently Batman #71...now see this is Tim’s turn and I love my big brain boi Tim... and when you love a fictional character you know something bad is gonna happen. Bruce’s abuse, it’s kinda worse cause he’s a fucking KID. now Bruce be like let’s meet and shit so most of them are there and some evil villain is doing their thang and Tim is tryin be nice comforting Bruce, telling him that Tim will always be there and that Tim will help AND BRUCE FUCKING PUNCHED HIM. HE WAS JUST TRYIN BE NICE AND HELP YOU FEEL BETTER YOU POS. Now do we see Bruce apologize? NOOOOO. What did you expect? Honestly it’s not that hard it’s a simple sentences even a dumbass like you can manage it

Now I’m not totally familiar with any abuse on Damian but it’s there. Bruce is allergic to emotions, and it’s hard for him to be emotionally supportive and show any affection whatsoever. Showing any semblance of pride to Damian is like me trying to do pushups it’s FUCKING impossible for Bruce to show any compassion toward his son whatsoever (seriously though push ups are a pain in the ass I’m not athletic whatsoever why do you think I waste my time venting on tumblr the only thing I’m good for is being the smart kid in school and even then some people outshine me in that.)...sad but I’m not here to complain about that. Anyway Dick is a BAMF and openly shows Damian hey i’m proud of you and I love you. IT’S NOT THAT HARD BRUCE.

Bruce can’t ever be happy, he doesn’t let himself be happy because he can’t move on from that tragedy that happened to him. And he doesn’t allow anyone around him to be happy either. Shown as when Dick is like hey I can be in love with someone and we can be long term we can be happy together. BRUCE BE LIKE NUH HUH VIGILANTES CAN’T BE HAPPY WE HAVE TO SACRIFICE FOR THE MISSION. Let your son be FUCKING HAPPY. I know I sound like I hate him and maybe I do a bit but I don’t think he’s like completely Joker evil and irredeemable. I just can’t deal with how DC handles abusers like Bruce and having characters enable this behavior. We need to know that Bruce’s behavior is not ok and his children are completely numb to it, it’s normal to them and it’s disgusting. Bruce needs repercussions and he needs to know that he can’t do that to kids who love and trust him.

LINK TO PART 2:

https://demigoddreamer.tumblr.com/post/639314330465222656/addressing-batmans-abuse-part-2

If a loved one is hurting you reach out and seek help. You deserve the world

[phalliwellz]

A small rant on Forwood (and why I don’t like it as both a Tyler and Caroline stan.)

(Before I start I should say I very much like Tyler more than Caroline, so it honestly might show in this rant. Regardless, it’s not an attack on her character, more so how poor writing makes Caroline worse than she actually is. Anywho.) 

I legitimately cannot say one good thing about forwood. Except what @/hizziemikaelson actually made me realize was that it was Caroline’s best ship, but Tyler’s worst. Since the show likes to portray Caroline as everyone’s emotional savior, they very much knew what they were doing with getting them together. Ty was the patient, Care was the therapist. ‘Tyler has ‘anger issues���? perfect! Caroline will now be his entire rock because that’s her job and we don’t know how to write this character without EVERYONE falling in love with her in someway because we’re WEIRD!’ Like. lmao what? They made Caroline get so carried away with that shit that it turned manipulative. She subconsciously wanted him to be so dependent on her because someone wanting her for once? So unrealistic! (I say that sarcastically because it’s bullshit, but this is a forwood rant, not a Caroline rant.) and you best believe she used that to her advantage till the very end. She wanted Tyler to be nothing without her. And in the show’s eyes for a very great while, he was. Everything Ty did from s2 to s5 was ‘cause Caroline influenced it or wanted him to, unless it was related to his pack and even then he had to fight to be able to do that on his own. (Remember when she didn’t give two shits that his pack member died? (Inherently cause of Elena and Caroline wanted him to help her save her, might I add.) they made his happiness rely on her. Like I said, he was nothing without Caroline Forbes. Literally. Who swooped in when he was going through his father passing away? Caroline. Who was there when he found out his uncle died? Caroline. Who was DEFINITELY there when his mother died? Caroline. Which isn’t necessarily a TERRIBLE thing, but in this context it’s not cute/healthy, it’s dehumanizing. Because instead Tyler’s grief turns into her grief. We can only focus on Tyler if Caroline is mentioned/in the shot. It’s so fucking annoying, especially as such an extreme Tyler stan. I want to know about Tyler Lockwood, not Caroline Forbes and her werewolf boyfriend. But that’s what they did. That’s what they made forwood. They turned it into in the relationship only Caroline can excel at. He loved and cared for her and at most all she did was like his body and like the fact that he cared about her. I mentioned this before in a rant of mine but Caroline only started dating him because he actually listened to her yap all the time and showed her more attention than Matt ever did. (Without a fight atleast.) other than that, what else did they have? Vampire and werewolf, we’re to believe they despise each other and Caroline and Tyler are mystic fall’s answer to Romeo & Juliet? Fuck outta here. I know Caroline never cared about that boy because instead of actually being furious at Damon for killing him, it was, ‘He was my first love. *Conflicted but ready to get this over with frowny sad face*’ and my favorite ignorant bullshit line that she told KLAUS, ‘You were never the villain in my story.’ Oh, we know. We figured that out when you fucked him in the woods while you were supposed to love Tyler but you know, semantics :). 

It’s fucked because I could see the appeal? Like genuinely. Especially as someone who wanted THE BOTH OF THEM to be happy, it could’ve been the relationship where both of them shined, not just Tyler being Caroline’s boy toy and Caroline being propped up as ‘a soft uwu baby next to a bad boy with a mean temper and she has to calm him down all the time despite not being his registered therapist.’ They also wanted forwood to be the one good unrequited ship on the show and Caroline’s first great ship but that’s the problem, it was hers, not Tyler’s. Basically it was Caroline’s world, Tyler was simply living in it.

I feel like nothing defines forwood more than the scene where Tyler finds out Caroline slept with Klaus because everything from that is just them in a nutshell. Tyler trying to calm himself down/diffuse the situation because he doesn’t want to blow up, he knows it’ll hurt Caroline by doing so but he’s hurting, he needs an outlet. Caroline, who’s used to always being his outlet, is instantly threatened and actually doesn’t feel like she should be in the wrong for fucking Klaus, so suddenly she’s nervous and now she’s even more nervous because she can’t calm him down this time. Stefan, with his fat headed ass, instantly only sees Caroline being threatened and can’t even process being mad at her, he tries to defend Care, almost gaslighting Tyler into feeling like he’s the one that should be either apologizing or not taking it so hard. It was such a mess of a situation and such a pivotal moment I don't know how they even survived after that. It showed that forwood was so one-sided. No sex/grief scenes or declaration of love could’ve changed that. He fell in love with Caroline because she was all he had. She fell in ‘love’ with him because she was horny and needed a lap dog to heal her insecurities/wounds. No other reason. 

Personally I think they could’ve been more than what they were and could’ve been a great way to show Tyler’s development, Caroline’s development and even that julie & co. actually can make good relationships/have good writing. But unfortunately, none of those things happened except showcasing that Tyler Lockwood never mattered to anyone in the tvdu long before his death and Caroline Forbes is figuratively and literally the golden girl of tvd, despite them trying so hard to make her seem like she’s not. Tyler never stood a chance in that relationship.

[sunbeams-and-honey]

Hello!! First off I just wanted to say that your blog is so amazing like I have learned many great things about astrology so for that thank you 🙏☺️ I want to know your opinion about my chart, in fact I am a Sagittarius sun/mercury/venus/pluto (2nd house) , capricorn moon (3rd house), virgo mars(11th house), pisces jupiter (5th house) and scorpio rising. Thanks already 🙏💕

Hi darling! Thanks for the question and sorry about the wait. Also I’m so glad my blog has helped you learn about astrology! It’s such a beautiful subject, I think we can all agree.

Anyways, I've already gone over the following placements! Click on each one to find each respective post:

Sagittarius Sun Capricorn Moon

Sagittarius Pluto

Virgo Mars

Scorpio Rising

Moving on, your Sagittarius Mercury makes you constantly on the lookout for opportunities to try new things, and oftentimes you are successful in doing this. You always want to push the boundaries of your own knowledge and abilities, which is good because you are never accepting limits, but can put you at risk of overworking yourself. You want to move around as much as possible, expanding however you can, but this makes you incredibly restless. You shouldn't settle for anything less than you deserve, but you do run the risk of just never stopping for a moment and taking time to relax. To you, life is an adventure that you want to make the absolute most of at all times.

Your Mercury in the 2nd means that you absolutely think before you speak. You aren't really the impulsive type when it comes to how you communicate. You know the impact your words can have, whether that's for better or worse, and so you choose them carefully. You have a natural affinity with anyone related to financial matters. You put all your efforts into your studies, always wanting to work hard and to achiever the best possible results. You have an innate thirst knowledge, constantly looking out for new information you can accumulate. Your curiosity is insatiable, and while this does have its benefits, it can get the better of you, leading you to learn things you'd much rather forget as soon as possible.

Your Sun is in the 2nd too, which makes you someone who always keeps their word, no matter what. Promises are very important to you, as well as trust in general. The only thing you hate more than making empty promises is other people making them to you. You are very practical and driven, always striving for success. This is another placement which promises a keen eye for financial matters. You can be quite materialistic and even greedy, always wanting to accumulate as many things as possible. You can be rather power-hungry because you crave the security and status that comes with that kind of power. You also have a talent for business.

You have your Venus in Sagittarius, which means you would absolutely take risks, no matter how big, just so you can have a little more fun and excitement in your life. This can be good because it means you're unlikely to ever be bored for too long, but it can mean that you unknowingly hurt others for the sake of your own entertainment. You want to explore the world around you and uncover all of its secrets. It may sound extreme, but you're more or less repulsed by the mere idea of settling down one day. In terms of romantic partners, you have to be with someone who you have things in common with. You desire relationships that allow you the chance to become a better person or to learn a new skill. You love people who can teach you something about pretty much anything.

Your 2nd House Venus makes you appear materialistic and greedy to others, when in reality you are actually very empathetic and kind. You are fond of your physical possessions, but it's not the most important thing to you in the world. You're an expert in matters of the heart, despite what other people may think. You have a great appreciation for all things beautiful, whether that's in a physical or metaphorical sense. You probably like to collect things that make you happy when you look at them. You are very elegant and want the best that life has to offer. Your love language is probably giving and receiving gifts. You're not shallow, you just like to be appreciated in that way. You don't want to settle for any less than what you believe you deserve.

Your Pluto in the 2nd means that you are rather business-like in more or less everything that you do. You are hard-headed, taking no shit from anyone. You hate wasting time, which does help you to be a very productive person overall, but does put you at serious risk of overworking yourself. Learning to allow yourself to take breaks is going to be a very valuable lesson for you. I know that resting can make you feel very guilty, but you need rest, and you don't have to work for it and 'earn' it. You might go through a lot of emotional distress throughout your life, but please don't let this scare you. It all depends on the rest of your chart, and even then, astrology is not, and never will be, a guarantee. You will always have the power to control your own life.

Your Moon is in the 3rd House, which makes you rather balanced, in that you are rational while also taking your emotions into account. You highly value your personal relationships with the people you love, and you want to forge real connections with anyone in your life. You hate being fake. You're quite open when it comes to your thoughts and feelings. You voice them when you feel the need to and you don't tend to feel uncomfortable doing it. This placement combined with your Mercury in the 2nd can mean that you sometimes overshare, though you shouldn't let this discourage you from being open with your loved ones.

You have your Mars in the 11th House, which means you are enthusiastic, energetic and capable. You love to take part in a wide variety of activities, often surprising people with how broad your interests are. You have many dreams that you would love to achieve in your lifetime, and have enough faith to at least try to make them come true. You have great leadership skills and you usually know exactly what you're doing. You tend to pick things up pretty quickly. You like to work on your relationships in order to strengthen them, but you can be quite ignorant of the actual people you are friends with. Both you and your friends are at risk of being taken advantage of by the other person(s), so it's vital that you make yourself aware of this so you can prevent it before it happens.

Your Pisces Jupiter makes you a very intuitive person who would definitely use that ability to get what you want in life. You play around with the subconscious of yourself and of others frequently, which is something that interests you deeply, but is something that can make you somewhat manipulative. You are very invested in the dreams of others, always interested in what they want to achieve in life and very dedicated in helping them get there. You can sometimes neglect your own though so be sure to pay attention to yours from time to time. You should also practise setting healthy boundaries, even with the people you love. You may feel guilty because of it but I promise that it will be for your own benefit and the people around you should understand. Don't be afraid to say 'no' if you feel you need or want to.

Your Jupiter in the 5th means that you love expressing your identity in any which way you choose, especially if it involves being creative. You don't like to dwell too much on decisions, but this can mean that you make choices carelessly, potentially causing extra problems down the line as a result of that. You are quite a fun person, always looking for the next adventure. You're eager to get everything you can out of life. You are quite confident when it comes to your relationships with others. You may be good with kids unless there are other placements that say otherwise. You have the courage needed to express your true identity to the world.

Words Of Advice:

Make sure you take the time to show your good intentions.

Don't give up too quickly.

Don't let your pride cloud your judgment.

Don't waste your energy on short and passionate affairs all the time.

Things become much easier when you calm down.

Don't let money be the only thing that drives you.

Think before you act and speak.

Try not to bite off more than you can chew.

Listen to what the people around you have to say for themselves.

Work on feeling more comfortable with who you are as a person.

Thanks for the question darling and I hope this helped! Sending good vibes your way and have a wonderful rest of your day! And just a reminder for everyone else, my inbox is currently closed (I received this ask long before I closed my inbox) so please don't send in anything else! Thank you and I'll let you all know when it's open again!

[something-fanfiction-ie]

I Thought I Dreamed

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Dismembered body parts, mentions of blood, and that’s about it??

A/N: HOLY SHIT GUYS ITS FINISHED. Oh my goodness that was hard, I don’t understand why. I still hardcore hate it, but I love you guys too much to leave you hanging. So here is part two to Dreams. I hope you enjoy, and thank you for sticking around through my terrible writer blocks.

...

[ Part One ]

“You’re sure it isn’t just a concussion?” Your fiancé says, his voice cracking with nerves. The bathroom tile of your hotel room is cool beneath your legs, Spencer sits directly across from you with your feet in his lap and his fingers tracing worried patterns across your shins.

Above your head on the bathroom counter, is a pregnancy test that still has three more minutes to come up with a yes or no answer to the question you were pretty sure you already knew the answer to. Balanced in your lap is a book about dream analysis that you’d picked up on the way to the hotel tonight.

“I had a dream, Spence. This books says that nearly everything about my dream pointed to me being pregnant.” His eyes narrow, one hand reaching out to flip through the pages you’ve tagged with sticky bookmarks. Your soon to be husband is a book fanatic, you’d learned early on that dog-eared pages were the antichrist of all book lovers everywhere.

“If you are pregnant, I can assure you that the dream was just your subconscious telling you what it had already pieced together before your conscious mind.” The clock outside the bathroom door ticks slowly. You think back to the little boy in your dream, and as scary as having two children so close together in age may be, you can’t help but be a little excited at the thought of a baby Spencer in the world.

“You don’t believe in dream analysis, so your opinion on the matter is biased.”

“Arguably, every opinion is biased. No one person can be one-hundred percent objective no matter the circumstances.” He’d have Spencer’s eyes, Graeson does already and she’s not even half a year old. Was it wrong of you to hope that all your children with Spencer would look and be exactly like him? Hopefully, in terms of intelligence, they would both be carbon copies of their father.

The tears that come to your eyes surprise you when you think about him taking the kids to a museum, holding your son in his arms and one of his fingers wrapped in your daughter’s grasp as he explains every artifact and display. Hastily, you reach up to wipe at the streams of water that wet your cheeks. Spencer sets the book aside, leaning forward worriedly.

Ashamed of your sudden mood swing, another blatant sign that you could be pregnant, you avoid eye contact by staring at the clock.

“Hey,” his voice is gentle, his hands reaching out to smooth down the sides of your arms, “Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” Your nose crinkles as you try to bite back the next onslaught of tears, hoping the last minute will go by fast. When you finally meet his gaze, the puddles of emotion that collected in your eyes spill over once again.

“You’ll take them to museums, right? You’ll make sure our kids aren’t dumb, right?” You don’t know why it’s so important to you, but the helplessness you feel is all too familiar as you recall a similar moment from your previous pregnancy.

“(Y/N). Breathe. Calm down.” You look up at your boyfriend from the bathtub, feeling not unlike a beached whale with your oversized stomach poking over the surface of the water surrounding you. The sides of the tub dig into your fingers as you grip the edges so tightly that your knuckles turn white.

“I can’t calm down, Spencer! I don’t have enough time. I’m not prepared. If I’m not prepared now then who is to say I’m even supposed to be a mother? What if I completely screw our kid up? I don’t-” The air in your lungs doesn’t feel like enough and it feels like all too much at the same time. You’ve never felt like this before, especially not in the middle of a relaxing bath.

Slowly, Spencer reaches into the tub and pulls the stopper out of the bottom. With his other hand, he helps to pull you to your feet and wrap you in a soft, pink towel. He keeps making shushing noises like it’s going to help the overwhelming anxiety of becoming a new parent and, as much as you love him, it makes you want to scream.

But just before you give into your urges, he steps in front of you and lowers himself so that you don’t have to look up to meet his eyes. Either one of his hands come up to cradle your cheeks, you wonder if he notices the weight you’ve gained there since you started nearing your due date.

“You won’t screw our kid up. We will, together.” And you can’t help but let the laughter bubble out of your chest as you lean into him, letting his arms wrap around you as you lay your soaking wet head over his heart.

“We will, together.” He says again, reaching up to wipe a tear from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. When he closes the distance to press a kiss to your forehead, causing you to close your eyes and force a deep breathe in through your nose, he plucks the test from the counter.

“Spencer! I thought this was a together thing!” You jump to your feet, reaching for the test that he has hanging over your head just out of reach.

“It is babe, but you have the advantage of knowing before me when it comes to these things and I just really want to know first one time.” You whine in protest, trying to determine the results on the small pink stick by profiling his body language.

His hand still up in the air, he tilts the small window toward his face. Both eyebrows go up, but his expression stays emotionless otherwise. Not even a muscle in his cheeks twitch. He’s way too good at hiding things when he wants to.

“Spencer.” You warn in your best imitation of Hotch’s commanding voice, stretching back up on your toes, your fingertips brush the plastic siding before he wraps his free arm around your back and pulls you to his chest. His kisses are like soft butterfly wings against your cheeks, eyelids, chin, forehead, and eventually lips.

In the two years you’ve been with Spencer, there have been all kinds of kisses. Kisses of burning passion and simmering anger, kisses of a deep and slow love, kisses of overwhelming joy and uncontrollable relief, but it’s this kind of kiss you’ve only ever felt once before.

The hand holding the test comes down to cradle your face, a thumb brushing over the apple of your cheek. It reminds you of the way an art enthusiast might reach out to touch a painting or sculpture in awe, his lips moving against your own like you were a Goddess that he was praying to with complete faith and devotion.

When he finally broke away, his eyelashes damp with happy tears (and maybe a few scared tears), the facade is shattered and you can read his face like an open book.

“You’re getting really good at that mom voice for someone with a five month old.” He teased.

“And one on the way?” You have to make sure, you want to hear it come from his lips. Screw the test.

“Did you dream it was a boy, because I think it would be really cool if we had a boy this time.” You laugh into his lips, throwing both arms around his neck and bringing him down to your level. The curls that sway at his shoulder brush against the crooks of your elbows before you tangle your fingers into his hair.

And then, just like the horny teenagers you two definitely were around each other, he bends down and swoops you into his arms. The high pitched squealing laugh that bubbled between both of your lips came from you as he started to turn back to the hotel room.

“Now I’m really gonna have to make up for lost time while I can.” He teases, turning sideways so your feet and head don’t hit the doorframe.

The next day, back on the case of the dead girls with missing hands, the team notices the different energy between you. Like the way Spencer’s mouth opens in protest when Hotch suggests you accompany Morgan to the house of a possible suspect. You glare daggers at him from the door, a silent conversation flying between you before he finally closes his mouth and sinks into his seat. It did not go unnoticed by every other person in the room.

Or the day after that, when you offer to go get coffee for everyone instead of letting them drink nasty precinct coffee. (Something you used to do a lot when you’d been pregnant with Graeson and the places you went didn’t have decaf.)

The biggest tip off is the passing of peppermints between you and Spencer, the young doctor having somehow found the time to go to a convenience store and buy a bulk sized bag of the red and white candies to help with your nausea. The bag crinkles when he reaches into his satchel every so often.

Despite the fact that they all catch on pretty quickly, nobody says anything. They figure that you’ll tell them when you’re ready. Instead they focus on the case, which had been your hope the whole time.

You’re near the end of the investigation at this point, sucking on a peppermint and racing for one of the two addresses that Garcia had sent to your phones. Just this morning, another body had been found. His fuse was getting smaller as the days had passed and the investigation crawled at an unusually slow pace, meaning you were cutting it close to the wire if you wanted to save whatever poor girl had unknowingly incurred this man’s wrath.

With you, on the way to the workplace of a Ryan Christopher, is JJ, Hotch, and Prentiss. Rossi, Morgan, and Reid have their own car headed for his home. You’re in the backseat, holding onto your stomach and the edge of the leather bench seat as Hotch races through traffic. Garcia is explaining her findings over the speakerphone, you can hear Morgan and Reid interjecting every so often with their own thoughts and comments.

It isn’t until the SUV that you’ve been sliding around in finally bumps into the parking lot outside of a carpentry workshop that Hotch ends the call. The boys on one of the other two ends of the line say their own salutations, also approaching the unsub’s home.

“Be careful!” Spencer shouts to you over everyone. It’s really cute. You would dwell on it more, but given the fact that you were about to walk into a possible altercation with an unsub, you decided that staying sharp and focused was the way to go.

Quickly, all three FBI Agents slip out of the car, clustering together long enough to come up with a game plan. You rush for the back door, JJ gets the side, and Hotch readies himself at the front. It isn’t until every room in the workshop is clear that a little tension leaves your shoulders.

It’s obvious that he’s been here though, with giant pools of blood dried onto a workbench in one of the rooms. And if you weren’t sure of this man’s guilt before, then the small freezer full of hands that is bolted shut is enough to convince you otherwise.

“What is the point in bolting something shut if you have bolt cutters lying in the same room?” JJ comments, tossing her pale gold pony over her shoulder before letting the tool settle against the strap of her Kevlar.

You turn away from the freezer to try and quell the rolling in your stomach.

“I’m going to call Morgan to see if they have anything.” At this point, they should have cleared the house or arrested him, making you feel comfortable enough to pull out your phone and dial Derek’s number. He answers on the second ring, his tone of voice telling you everything that you need to know.

“Hey Mamacita, I’m gonna go ahead and assume he’s not over there?” The rest of the tension that you had been unconsciously holding in your chest leaves with the breath of relief that deflates your lungs. You shake your head, walking away from the freezer of hands to tell him everything you’d found in the ten minutes you’d been inside the workshop.

“That’s just a little gross,” Morgan comments. “Hey Spencer- Spencer!” His voice goes up an octave, booming through the speaker and reverberating in your ear.

“Morgan?! Morgan, what’s wrong?!” The sound of the phone clattering to the floor and a single gunshot is the only response you receive before you’re racing back outside.

The tires of the SUV screech against the asphalt outside Ryan Christopher’s home. Your heart leaped out of your chest with the wild swing of the vehicle underneath you. Ambulances, SUVs, and police cruisers scatter the road and lawn in front of you, several faces lifting to find the source of the sound.

“(Y/N)!” JJ cried, white knuckling the arm of her seat and the ‘Oh Shit’ handle above her head. The car was barely in park when you fumbled for the latch of your seatbelt, kicking the door open and rushing into the hordes of first responders.

You should have never agreed to let them separate you from each other. That was the only thing you could think the moment you heard Morgan cry your fiancé’s name over the phone.

“Spencer?!” You pushed past a couple of local cops who shot you dirty looks when you shoved your way between them. Your eyes couldn’t take in all the details around you fast enough, all you could focus on was finding the top of a curly brown head of hair. Rossi was the first to come up to you, grabbing you by the shoulders and meeting your eyes with a steady gaze.

“Don’t panic.” He said in the least reassuring manner humanly possible. You didn’t give him time to explain before you tore from his arms and ducked around him.

Ambulance. He would be in an ambulance. If he’s hurt that bad, you hope the ambulance has already left, but at the same time you need to see him. If you don’t you might actually vomit right here in the middle of everyone.

“SPENCER REID!” The sound came from your chest, booming over the clamor and bustle of everyone around you. More people stopped and stared as you stumbled toward the emergency vehicles parked at the other side of the mass of people. You didn’t care. The lack of response was setting you on edge.

Just before you could yell his name again, he suddenly appeared like a ghost might appear out of thin air. He certainly was as pale as a ghost, sitting at the end of an open ambulance with an ice pack gingerly held against the back of his head. One of his lanky arms was raised into the air, waving you over.

When you flew into his arms, burying your face into his chest and inhaling his familiar scent of coffee and laundry soap, he grunted a little in pain.

“Careful, I’m not broke but I’m definitely sore.” You loosened your grip from around his ribs, leaning back and beginning an assessment of his limbs and appendages. Everything was, thankfully, in its rightful place, but cuts and freshly forming bruises were littered all over his arms and face.

“We weren’t even separated an hour and this is how I come back to find you? Do you have no concern for my nerves? My sanity?!” Your voice is shrill with residual panic, your fingers gripping onto the back of his shirt so that they wouldn’t shake. Slowly, Spencer lowers the ice pack to the ambulance flooring before looping his arm around the tops of your shoulders. He doesn’t say anything, letting you ramble away the hysteria as he presses his lips to the crown of your head.

“You can’t ever get hurt, Spencer. We have a baby. We have two babies, actually. Stress is bad for pregnant women, you can’t put me under this kind of stress, I just, how could you be so careless? What even happened? You know what, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. I’m so mad at you right now, Spencer Reid. Just you wait until I’m not consumed with relief that you’re not dead, I might kill you myself.”

The tears wetting your cheeks betray your words, the rant loosing any of its sting as your voice cracks through it.

Putting his hands on either side of your face, he lifts your head up until you’re staring into those eyes you love so much that it actually rips your heart into a thousand tiny pieces every time you think about it.

“Breathe. Didn’t you just say stress isn’t good for the baby?” You want to punch him in the mouth and kiss him senseless at the same time, narrowing your eyes and fighting the smile that Spencer can already see twisting the edges of your lips.

“If you ever do that again-” You start to say, trying and failing to shake away the nightmarish possibilities you’d conjured up in your head on the twenty minute drive from Ryan’s workshop. Spencer smothers your rant into his chest when he folds you back into his arms, cradling the back of your head in one of his large hands.

“I will be more considerate of your nerves going forward, Mrs. Bennet.” He teases. You playfully swat at his back before finally letting his embrace settle over you with it’s usual calming affect.

…

“So are we allowed to talk about how you’re pregnant again?” JJ teases from the front of the elevator, unable to contain her own excitement when she notices the way you and Spencer have your heads leaned together in secret near the back.

Your head pops up, nearly bumping against your fiancée’s with the speed in which move to look at JJ. A cursory sweep across the faces of the rest of the team tells you that JJ isn’t the only one who had connected the dots.

“I hate working with profilers.” You groan, thankful for the ding that signals the opening doors. The sight of the BAU is very much welcome, calling to your fatigued limbs the way a siren might call to a pirate ship. This is your last stop before your bed. Your mother always babysat Graeson in your own home, which made it so much easier when you came back late and you weren’t in the mood to stop by her house at one or two o’clock in the morning to pick up your daughter.

“Hey, don’t get mad at us because you and pretty boy are terrible at keeping secrets.” Morgan teases, elbowing Spencer on his way out of the cramped elevator.

“And using contraceptive, apparently.” Prentiss comments as she goes about shuffling papers and files between bags on her desk. You send her a teasing glare, only letting her slide when she pulls you in for a congratulatory hug.

After she lets go, everyone files in one by one for their own congratulations, patting Spencer on the back (lightly, he has a minor concussion and some serious bruises) and squeezing you into excited hugs. Once Rossi pulls away with a teasing remark about how you find the time for sex between cases and a five month old baby, you pick up your things.

“Ready to go home?” Spencer smiles from his desk, gathering his own things into his arms before making his way over to you.

“I’ve been ready for hours.” You sigh, making your way back to the elevator. Someone shouts a last minute congratulations to you before you get to the clear doors. The sound of hurried heels clicking against the floor stops you in your tracks.

Somehow, in all the exhaustion and all the chaos, you’d forgotten Garcia.

“YOU’RE WHAT?”