discworld dashboard simulator
❓ ankhmorporkpolls
🧙🏻 blackalisstan
This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you
🔪 treefroghousealumni follow
*inhume
🧙🏻 blackalisstan
piss off you posh knob
🍴 priestessofanoia
tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...
#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site
10,435 notes
🪻watchofficial follow
ALL'S WELL!
🍴 priestessofanoia
nvm lmao 😭
47 notes
☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow
.
#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg
4 notes
unseenuniconfessions reblogged:
🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary
Ook
#SO TRUE KING
100,034 notes
Anonymous asked:
Is lord vetinari gay
🪄ramtopswitches answered:
Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this
50,432 notes
🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow
CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)
• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone
• apparently stole over 100k
• cringe
Read More
2000 notes
Anonymous asked:
Blessings be upon this askbox
🌷queen-of-lancre answered:
I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out
435 notes
cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored
SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭
🏚️ throwingshades
Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!
💀 nojusticejustus
HAVE FUN
🏚️ throwingshades
Thanks man!
34 notes
✉️ ampostofficeofficial follow
🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar
is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead
7013 notes
🧳 agateantravels follow
The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off
345 notes
💖 angelofmusic
It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST
#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(
5 notes
🐊 genuablogging
My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯
Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog
My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us
456 notes
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⸻ 𝐇𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐘 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑!𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒
cw :: mentions of violence, nsfw headcanons (MDNI)
a/n :: i saw this picture again the other day and i had to write something abt it cause jesus christ…look at him! (art creds: @/jpegjetty on twt)
hockey player!armin who's been skating since he was young and started playing hockey in memory of his dad.
hockey player!armin who usually isn't into violent sports but loves hockey with a burning passion and it is extremely good at it
hockey player!armin who outsmarts his opponents in every game, making them mad but he never cared. he always bragged by smirking and skating past them sometimes winking just to spite them.
hockey player!armin who has many girls fawning over him just like his other teammates but is always surprised by the number of girls who actually like him
hockey player!armin who met you at one of his games and it was completely random but he saw you in the stands and was instantly attracted to you.
hockey player!armin was too nervous to say something to you even though eren had prompted him to say something stop pining over you. "dude, just talk to her." he would shake his head and sighed, "i can't.
hockey player!armin who almost fell to his knees when you finally talked to him.
hockey player!armin who you realized was a sweetheart out of the rink and just kept the cocky persona when he was playing cause it made him feel good.
hockey player!armin who takes you out every friday after his games even if he's tired, bringing you flowers and making sure you have a good time. going all out because he wanted to see you.
hockey player!armin lets you wear his backup jersey to all of his games now even though he hasn't asked you out yet but he loves seeing you with his name on your back.
hockey player!armin who points to you in the stands when he makes the shot because you're his good luck charm and even though all the other girls fawn over it, you know it's for you and you only.
hockey player!armin who finally asks you out on one of your dates and completely surprises you but of course, you said yes.
hockey player!armin who is usually the calm one out of everyone on the team and talks everyone out of fighting each other but gets into an altercation with another player on another team. you see the big group before it even happens standing on the bleachers to get a better look, the crowd gasping when everyone starts to move and a fight breaks out.
you move faster than expected, sitting in the front by the barricade watching eren pull armin off the other player. both of them still yelling at each other and armin trying to break out of eren's arms, but that unwavering cockiness was still there when he wiped the blood off his lips and skated towards the barricade shooting a smirk your way before sitting out for the rest of the game.
hockey player!armin loves kissing you, whatever chance he gets. sometimes you're in his lap and his hands are all over you, you can't help but to squirm in his hold.
hockey player!armin who took such good care of you when you guys had sex for the first time, taking his time prepping you and making sure you were satisfied. "right there, baby?" "does that feel good?" "can you cum for me?" "you look so pretty like this"
remember when i said hockey player!armin was a sweetheart? yeah not when he's frustrated or when he's lost a game, having never lost a game before, his first loss got to him and he took it out on you. you would never forget how rough he got, how filthy his words were as he fucked you into the mattress.
"min, min, 's too much. s-slow down!" you cried out but he just sped up, his hips smacking against your ass loud enough that it echoes in the room, "c'mon you can take it. you've taken it before like a good slut, haven't you?
hockey player!armin doesn't get jealous often but he notices how men look at you, he's usually embarrassed when he leaves marks visible on your neck but tonight he makes the exception. he wants to send a message to the guy who's always hitting on you, that way he won't hit on you again.
hockey player!armin who eats your pussy like a starved man, he's sloppy with the way spit over your cunt and slurps up your slick making your thighs shake but he loves when they're around his head trying not to close around his head but he doesn't care. "f-fuck, armin!" your hands carding through his hair and pulling him closer to your pussy.
grinding on his face but his hands grip your thighs even tighter, he relishes in the fact that he gets to see you like this and no one else will see you like this. it doesn't take him long to make you cum, overstimulating you when he licks up all your cum. "you taste good, baby."
hockey player!armin who says 'i love you' after months of being together and takes you back to his place to engrave it in your skin with every kiss and every word he whispers in your ear as he slowly thrusts into you, taking his time enjoying this part of his thoroughly planned evening making sure you feel all of his love, "i love you, baby." "i love you too, minnie."
© 𝐥𝐮𝐱𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧 | all rights reserved to me, please don’t steal, copy, or repost to any other websites
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i should hate u !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them using shady captions to communicate and the media and fans being confused.
or
for when you loved them too much. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader
sequel - today and tomorrow and every day after that ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - hello!!! i really hope u like this <3 i was initially gonna do daniel ricciardo one first but i already had 1/2 of this done so i just decided to post this :) thank u sm for reading <3 i love u
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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f1news y/n y/l/n and max verstappen called it quits almost a month ago and it seems like they didn't end on good terms at all. the singer, at her london show last night, threw shade at her ex-boyfriend, saying and we quote, "the next song wouldn't have been possible without this one dude who inspired it obviously. so — here's 'i should hate you'. spoiler alert, i do. thank you!" the reason for the split is still unknown but sources who claim to be close to the pair said that 'it was bound to happen — with their different goals and plans for the future," seemingly referring to the talks that y/l/n wanted to get married and verstappen didn't. both of them have yet to comment on the situation. for more details, click on the link in our bio.
278 comments
username WOAH
username pause.
username ahahahahaha say what.
username oh my god 💀💀💀
username NOT HER CONFIRMING THAT I SHOULD HATE YOU IS ABT MAX
username no bc the way her voice cracked so many times in between the songs like girlie is angry AND hurt
username OH MY GOD
username i genuinely have no words
username omg the photos are NOT of her shading max. it's her laughing at a fan who yelled "you're the baddest bitch of all baddest bitches" at her
-> username YEAH LIKE SHE WAS SO CLOSE TO CRYING WHEN SHE SANG ISHY
username my delusional ass thinking they ended on good terms 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
username nah it's so champagne problems and you're losing me kinda thing i can't handle this whatcthe fucj
username OH WHATCTHEBFUCJ
username me getting the big guns out to defend her AND max with my LIFE
username still processing their breakup give me a year to digest this information
username STOP WHAT THE FUCK
username my parents ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
username no bc she's genuinely such a sweet person so if she said this max must've done something 😭😭😭😭😭
-> username STOP NO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username can't believe she's saying this about a dude for whom she wrote "feels like" for like wow.
username I WAS AT THAT SHOW AND SHE LOOKED SO SAD AFTER SHE SAID THIS I FELT SO BAD
-> username SHE ALSO STARTED CRYING WHEN SHE FINISHED SINGING I MISS U IM SORRY AND ZARA (HER LEAD GUITARIST) HAD TO RUN AND CONSOLE HER
-> username AND SHE SAID THAT THE LAST MONTH HAS BEEN HARD ON HER AND SHE APOLOGIZED IF THE SHOW WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS
-> username NAH MOTHER ATE AS ALWAYS
username y'all saying this but not the fact that she ALSO said "in another life we would've worked but im grateful for everything i had because for a moment you were mine"
-> username MY HEART JUST BROKE WHATCTHEBFUCK
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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maxverstappen1 i know i say that i am better now, spoiler alert, i am
8,926 comments
username the way my jaw dropped
username THE PICTURES
username GODDAMN
username someone take away y/n's phone before she hits back 💀💀💀
-> username the way i know that she would absolutely destroy him
username NOT THE PHOTOS OMG
danielricciardo spoiler alert, also a liar
-> maxverstappen1 you promised you wouldn't snitch
username he definitely cried while posting this idc
username max babe it's okay to admit that u miss ur wifey bc same 💔💔💔
-> username "wifey" girl he didn't even wanna marry her
-> username not another word.
username funny haha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 im crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 now get back with mom.
landonorris no you're not
-> maxverstappen1 i will block you
username lando and daniel exposing max 💀💀💀
username no bc he probably cries whenever he remembers that he fumbled a baddie like y/n
username "it's all better with you ❤️"
-> username i could've gone along with my day without seeing that just saying
-> username delete that RIGHT NOW before i start crying
username missing max simping for y/n like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
charles_leclerc i swear i can hear you crying from my hotel room
-> maxverstappen1 WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME HOTEL
username the way im SO sure he heard y/n saying that she hates him and that was the moment he gave up
-> username nah bc he was one of the "my girl's mad at me i hope i die" kinda guys
-> username wonder how he's surviving this tbh
username I CAN'T TAKE THIS SERIOUS IM SORRY THE POST IS JUST TOO FUNNY
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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yourusername i hate you lol
12,628 comments
username HELP
username she could only get this much in before her manager took away her phone ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
*liked by yourusername*
username no bc girl had a lot to say she's just trying to keep it cute
*liked by yourusername*
username the way i know y/n FOUGHT for the right to post this caption
username this is MILD bc i know y/n can be ruthless 😭😭😭😭😭😭
landonorris "in love" alright.
-> yourusername IT'S FOR THE AESTHETIC
username mother and father are fighting i can't take this what tye fyxk
username 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
username mother slays everyday just saying
username no bc if y/n ever said ihy to me i would give up just a thought
lilymhe pretty bitch
-> yourusername u sure that's not u?????
username i REALLY hope she's at the next gp
-> username no bc the way max and her meeting would definitely be more entertaining than the race itself
username NOT THE SONG LYRICS WHAT HAVE U PLANNED
-> username oh fuck that broke my heart what the fuck
username missing my man max in the comments section being a whipped bitch so bad ://////
carmenmmundt can't wait to see you darling 🤍
-> yourusername counting down the seconds omg i missed u!!!!!!
username y/n's manager has her on lockdown i can tell 💀💀💀
-> username with what she said at her last show i wouldn't be surprised
landonorris the post has reached the target and the target is currently eating ice cream while singing your songs
-> yourusername OH OKAY
-> yourusername good to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
username she's so pretty it's not fair wtf
username the caption omg
-> username it's SO mild compared to what i was expecting tbh 💀
username slay
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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maxverstappen1 it's all better now
comments are disabled for this post
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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yourusername and i swear to god i'd kill you if i loved you a less hard
13,728 comments
username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
username OH MY GOD
username IS THAT MAX WHATCTHEBFUCK
username NOT Y/N SOFT LAUNCHING HER EX BOYFRIEND
username GIRL 😭😭😭😭 get up
username this is INSANE
username MOTHER?????? WHAT IS THIS??????
danielricciardo the most stressful week of my life if we're being for real
-> yourusername u can send m*x the therapy bill
-> maxverstappen1 don't. i did not agree to that.
username HER SONG LYRICS OH MY GOD
username SHE WROTE THIS SONG FOR MAX 😭😭😭😭😭😭
username okay but like. are we SURE that's max?????
-> username i simply refuse to believe that it's someone else so yes. that IS in fact max.
username OKAYYYYYYY
username did NOT see this coming in a thousand years
username obviously VERY happy for them but y/n censoring max's name is so fucking hilarious like
-> yourusername babe it's m*x
-> username my bad ur absolutely right it's m*x
-> maxverstappen1 this is bullying
username DID HE PUT A RING ON IT WHATXTHEBFUCK
-> username NO BC THAT WOULD MAKE SM SENSE
username so i lost SLEEP over nothing????????
maxverstappen1 nice pants
-> yourusername thanks they would look better on ur floor
-> maxverstappen1 say less
-> username i think i just died whatcthebfuxk
-> username oh they're GOOD now
username imagine they just drop engagement photos out of the blue then what.
-> yourusername imagine lol
-> username WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
username i just know y/n's eating up every moment of this chaos
-> maxverstappen1 demons thrive in chaos so
-> yourusername well! it was nice to reconcile for a couple days, goodbye now.
username im crying whayctrhbfcuk
landonorris mother father
-> yourusername child
-> maxverstappen1 no
-> username ah yes the four family members mother father child and no
username THE HEART THE EVERYTHING THEM
username they STILL don't follow eachother LMFAO
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Hear me out, a vampire like reader x sbg cast. Like they don’t drink human blood but they do drink phantom blood (do they even have blood?) Maybe reader had actually been in the cycle longer, giving them more experience with the phantoms? Like in the day time just your average goth but when it strikes twelve? Those phantoms better pray. I think it would be funny if they were the youngest, like Aiden but with more maturity? 🩸-anon
NIGHTFALL
author’s note : I LOVE THIS (you can be 🩸 anon!!)
concept : vampire!reader with sbg group
genre : hcs + one drabble, vampire au (only reader)
content : gn!reader
first meeting the group
⠀ › ⠀being honest, the group thought you were some newly found demon that lurked the phantom realm.
⠀ › ⠀they were freaked out when they saw you just recklessly eating off the flesh of each phantom and slicing all of them into pieces.
⠀ › ⠀at first you seemed like a maniac but the more they saw the more that ashlyn felt like you were doing it like you knew what you were getting into.
⠀ › ⠀as they were watching you assassinate each phantom and clear the area for them, aiden felt most fascinated and was about to jump in as soon as you killed them all until you started sucking on the phantoms flesh
⠀ › ⠀the group was looking at you with pure disgust (while aiden still had that smile on his face)
⠀ › ⠀logan stared at you, aiming his shotgun at you and as soon as the bullet almost hit, you flinched. then you were gone. gone?
“i’m offended.” you hissed, crossing your arms. your clothes were drenched in blood. as logan was about to shoot you again, you kicked his gun to the side and wiped the blood dripping on your chin with the back of your hand before licking it.
the others didn’t know if they should run but tyler confidently held his weapon at you “are you gonna be a problem?” he grit his teeth as he watched your smile fade “are you?” you asked, your hand curling into a fist.
first impressions
⠀ › ⠀the group concluded that they wouldn’t hurt you (unless you do something wrong)
⠀ › ⠀aiden was mostly fascinated by your skill and asked a lot of questions
⠀ › ⠀tyler was wary of you and would get protective when you go anywhere near taylor. he thinks you’re a psycho.
⠀ › ⠀taylor was a little wary but she did wanna warm up to you, she had questions to ask too
⠀ › ⠀logan seemed to be timid around you, his guard was always up. he had mixed feelings about you.
⠀ › ⠀ashlyn felt slightly troubled abt an addition to the group, but she really pondered when you said you’re way more experienced than them. she had many questions to ask. and those questions weren’t all about your abilities. (some, not all!)
⠀ › ⠀ben was quiet around you, he didn’t stand out very much.
drinking phantom blood
⠀ › ⠀it would freak them out when they all meet up in one area and you seem to be missing
⠀ › ⠀and then after a few seconds, you come back with blood all over your shirt with a dumb smile. they look at you with a weird face and you just stare at them like “wazzup ma dudes?”
⠀ › ⠀sometimes it’s like they have to keep you on a leash because of how reckless you can be
⠀ › ⠀they would get scared and start running from you when fresh phantom blood gets all over them and your pupils just grow bigger as the scent flows to your nose
general hcs
⠀ › ⠀i like to think that you get way more energy when you drink the blood of phantoms so when you do, you’re like an unleashed beast.
⠀ › ⠀compared to the others, you’re not scared to go in a phantom-filled area. you just make sure you’re prepared.
⠀ › ⠀in the real world, you deal with terrible body pains because of the adrenaline
⠀ › ⠀aiden is very playful and challenging towards you
⠀ › ⠀you and aiden are literally a power-duo
⠀ › ⠀when you and tyler still haven’t warmed up to each other, he would hate it when a phantom would be behind him and when he hears a loud squash; he would turn around and see a phantom’s body on the floor with their head being held by your sharp teeth with a shit-eating grin
⠀ › ⠀ben heals your bruises because you get hurt as much as aiden does
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[Part One]
Cod characters react to you rejecting their confession </3
Part One ✦ Part Two
Character contains : ghost, konig, price, horangi, gaz & nikto
tw : nothing just fluff & maybe a tiny bity angst ♡ reader is poc but i see her as (black) chubby reader bcs my blogs is for chubby gals but i didnt put any descriptions abt readers body (or skintone) so you could have fun with it :) reader is afab btw ^^
♡ ghost
- big boy is mad
- no seriously he is mad.
- when the time you shook your head his sight whos first is kinda bright is now gloomy than ever.
- he would like give you a code about a question of why would you reject him.
- after he knows the reason, he is just kind of like [ *grunts* ... Fine. ]
- he still have a crush on u though, but he didnt have the courage to ask you again unless u change your mind and willing to confess your feelings for him <3
♡ konig
- blud is sad & angrei 😡
- have this '😡' expression after you reject him. But quickly turned into '😞😔' expression.
- quietly ask you "why.. Why darling?"
- after he knows the reason why he kinda try to make himself move on from you.
- but failed </3
- he still love you but he actually still mad at you for rejecting him.
- but he atleast try an effort to still respect you, but this dude is still over the heels for you <33
♡ price
- this is how his emotions looks like
- ☺->🙂->😐->😕->😞
- would quickly put his ciggarates once he saw you shook your head.
- ask you a question "am i not enough love?"
- he saw you shook your head again and heared you give yourself a reason of why would you reject him.
- after that he just went to like "oh.. Oh well fine then." But... He is still not over from you.
- i mean.. He sometimes try to take a glance at you when you were not looking.
- and trust me — this papa try reaaaally hard to not gawk over you cus umm.. He doesnt want to be embarassed.
- i mean.. This man has a lot of reputation in the military and the 141 group so.. better be patient.
- unless you're willing to change your mind and accept him, he would be over the moon :)
♡ horangi
- literally gave you a '😐' to '😒' stare right after u shook ur head and said the word "no"
- try not to look to angry at you bcs you just break his little tiger heart 💔
- he also try not to BARK when he sees you talking to his other comrades (including konig, bcs he is a jealous tiger)
- he would demand ask his comrades to ask you about why would you reject such a value man like him.
- would give you a side eye 24/7 after he knows the reason.
- but pls dont be mad at him for that, he still have a crush on you he just dont want to be seem as desperate.
- infact, giving u a side eye 24/7 is to get your attention back to him ... 😏
♡ gaz
- oh my god.. His heart is just like a snow that is being crushed by someones hands.
- would looked like a kicked puppy after you said "no" To him.
- would ask you quietly "why....?"
- after he knows the reason his whole mood is just become gloomy no matter how reasonable the reason is.
- bcs he is a shy bean so having him confessing his feelings for someone that he loves/likes require a lot of confidence for him to do it so he is really feeling that butt-hurt feelings.
- he actually still love you but he would never ever admit this again. He is too too shy beanie to do it. (Pls do it for him<3)
♡ nikto
- literally angy and sad
- he is infact big (almost like konig) but once he heard the word "no" From you he almost felt his strong and muscly heart being melted.
- he look at you with shocked expression and ask "why.. was i not enough?"
- after he know the reason he is still gloomy and sad of course. But he is not going to give up bcs he is a really determined man so he is really willing to say it back to you.
- unless this time.. He has more bigger & well prepare.
♡❀♡ Note : Guyssss this is my first time writing for nikto hcs/imagines, he is another of the masked men in cod and he was really really underrated, many ppl still didnt recognize his appereance (maybe some are but just dont really that care about him.) so i had to add him on this list. I'll make a part two maybe later with alejandro, rudy, valeria, alex, makarov and keegan :) tell me wht characters should i add in the next part! Enjoy!
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