#even it this technically isn’t Ben but rather someone who looks like him

[marisatomay]

So I do GOTV canvassing during major election cycles for a lot of reasons but a big one is for my own sanity—it’s an opportunity to talk to my community and see what the vibe is going into an election which is a great marker for how people feel about Life in general. So I’ve been doing that for the last few days and today I finally came across a Republican counterpart:

He was about my age but he didn’t have a clipboard or his phone out with a list of houses he was hitting like me he just seemed to be wandering aimlessly in his very bold Susan B Anthony Pro Life Foundation shirt and some flyers like he was just waiting to find someone to talk to instead of doing actual canvassing.

After passing him multiple times on this afternoon’s route he finally came up to us (my brother and me) and asked who we were with and then asked what drew us to the Ds. I said something vague about policy because I was trying to be pleasant but he insisted on knowing The One Thing that had us (me) out canvassing for the Dems and it occurred to me that he had a very Ben Shapiro-ish look on his face. He wanted to debate me. Not my brother who was standing next to me and giving him perturbed look. Me.

So I told him flat out: Abortion. And suddenly it was like a record scratch in his brain. All of the prep for the upcoming debate he wanted to have that everything about his body language was choreographing was gone. Like that one answer hadn’t occurred to him at all.

He stuttered through something like “oh that’s my issue but the other side ahah” before walking away. I was pleasant for the whole interaction but I was firm in my answer. It was weird, though. You work for a “pro life” organization but you can’t pivot when someone says they aren’t? Or was it that I actually said the word instead of dancing around it using euphemisms due to shame? I’m not ashamed. I am pro abortion.

Anyway that was the only republican canvasser I’ve seen out this whole time and he wasn’t even affiliated with the Trump campaign, or any campaign, and seemed very aimless. And I live in a former (as recently as 2016) Republican stronghold within the Philly suburbs. If the Rs want to win Pennsylvania again they needed to regain ground here. If they have, I’m not seeing it. And their ground game certainly isn’t the reason behind it.

One more thing because this shouldn’t matter but it does: this guy had at least 6 inches on me. I’m 5’2” and femme presenting. I look younger than I am especially when I’m not wearing make up like I was this afternoon. For the whole interaction he technically addressed both of us but it was clear that he was talking to me rather than my brick shithouse brother who was standing next to me. He thought I could be intimidated. He picked wrong.

[lovelyamneris]

thinking about my beloved OC Ben Grier who’s an actor who plays a fictional science fiction villain on TV. And he eventually spirals because as it turns out the character he’s playing and the TV show he’s acting in is a very real parallel universe to his real life. so the longer Ben plays fictional murderous space Pirate Jack Allston, the more he starts to feel all Jack’s grief, hatred, pain, trauma, and regret himself. And Ben feels as if he has to live with everything terrible Jack has done, because it feels like he did it too. But because Ben is so kind and sensitive (just a very talented actor) he can’t take it he can’t take it he can’t take it!

[bugoutreviewgirlie]

Miraculous Ladybug “London: At The Edge of Time” Review

also read here

The fourth Miraculous Ladybug special, “London: At The Edge of Time” sort of functions like an extension of the season five finale episodes. Unlike the other specials that showcase the city they’re set in, the London special shies away from showing much more than Big Ben and the London Eye on the horizon. Chronobug spends most of her time indoors, fighting villains in basements, bedrooms, prisons…anywhere but the streets of London itself. 

So if you were hoping to explore the city through the movie, or even to see Felix, you’re out of luck. Luckily, the story has lots to offer elsewhere.

We knew he was granted his wish of returning to his wife’s side, therefore dying and leaving Adrien an orphan. And lastly, we knew that somehow, Gabriel Agreste was regarded as a hero to Paris, meaning the truth of him being Monarch was never revealed.

The London special’s job was to answer the questions lingering after the genuinely surprising results of the finale: how did Marinette feel after being defeated by Monarch? Who picked up the butterfly miraculous? Why does Paris think Gabriel Agreste is a hero? What happens to Adrien now? 

Marinette’s relationship with Gabriel has been an interesting one; she went from idolizing him as a fashion designer to criticizing his cooking abilities in his own home. Ever since learning of Adrien’s mistreatment, she’s been Gabriel Agreste’s #2 hater. (Nathalie takes #1, since she tried to shoot him with a crossbow and all). 

Despite her hatred for Gabriel, she wanted him to be there for Adrien. She was so against Monarch because she believed he would sacrifice an innocent life for his wife’s. When his wish resulted in his death, Marinette failed to protect the person she cared about most: Adrien. 

As she entered the building where Adrien was being kept, she was listless and totally devoid of emotion. She wordlessly freed Kagami, who by nature isn’t the most emotional, but also treated Monarch’s demise like a non-success. Both girls are so tired that instead of feeling happy that it’s finally “over over”, or even crying together in relief, they robotically discuss how to break the news to Adrien.

Here, we hit the main snag. Marinette would literally rather die than admit to Adrien that his father was Hawkmoth. Technically, Kagami is right, like she usually is. Marinette’s love for Adrien stopped her from making the correct decision.  

One has to think of the implications of Ladybug revealing the entire truth. The Agreste family name would be ruined. Adrien, once a beloved celebrity, would become an outcast. Nathalie would be sent to prison, as would Kagami’s mother. Adrien, as Chat Noir, would never be able to look Ladybug in the face again. His entire world be turned upside down, and the legacy of his father being the villain who terrorized not only Paris, but the entire world, would follow him to his grave. Nobody would ever trust him again. 

Marinette can’t have that. Adrien is already in a fragile state, being locked up for so long when that’s his biggest phobia. When she breaks the news of his father’s death, he takes the news extremely hard, lashing out at Ladybug, someone he’s loved and idolized since the beginning. 

The London special answers another question within its first ten seconds: the villain of the special and the person who stole the miraculous butterfly was Lila, aka Cerise, aka whatever identity she goes by these days. She continues the proud tradition of abusing poor Nooroo and using the butterfly miraculous for her own gain. She concocts a bulletproof plan where she uncovers Marinette’s identity, steals the miraculous straight off her ears in her sleep, and makes a wish that ends the universe. 

Luckily, Bunnyx is there to safeguard against stuff just like that, so she and Marinette work together to stop the new villain from ever discovering her identity. Having to come in and defeat the mysterious time-traveling villain does Marinette some good, giving her a problem to solve outside of Adrien’s feelings, while forcing her to come to terms with what she did. Though she’s frustrated there’s  another supervillain out there, her deduction skills are unparalleled, and she’s able to figure out their goal is.

Side note, Spectral Looter felt very much like they could’ve been a villain in ZAG’s other show, “Ghostforce”. Chronobug also drew a direct comparison to a similar villain who could also phase through objects, Troublemaker. I love when the characters reference people and events from past episodes; it’s evidence the episodic nature of the show’s early seasons serve a purpose. The characters are learning from these conflicts and applying their knowledge to solve bigger problems. Good stuff.

In a parallel to her speech to Hawkmoth in Season 1, Chronobug makes a declaration to Time Stalker that no matter how long it takes, she will beat them and recover the butterfly miraculous. Despite technically losing to Monarch, she’s still determined to bring peace once and for all, not just for the people of Paris, but so she and Adrien can be together in earnest. 

So what happens to Adrien now? Well first, he goes through 4/5 stages of grief in approximately 2 minutes. 

Denial: The camera tilts as Ladybug breaks the news and he sits back down in disbelief.

Anger: Ladybug reaches out for him and he lashes out.

Bargaining: He tries to reason that since her magic ladybugs repair everything, his father not being alive is impossible and he could’ve saved him if he hadn’t been locked up.

Depression: He cries into Kagami’s shoulder, the sadness finally setting in.

Acceptance: We have to assume that by the end of season five, when he’s peacefully picnicking with the rest of the class, that he’s accepted his father’s passing.

He’s now an orphan and the people who care most about him are the people who are lying to his face about who his family really was. He’s also carrying enormous guilt about not being available to help Ladybug fight Monarch, not knowing things could’ve been worse if he’d been present. Everyone’s entered this gray area where they do bad things for good reasons, and lie to protect. 

I was delighted to see 70-year-old Bunnyx in her first ever appearance. The oldest Bunnyx is a little more stately, but still as competitive and ebullient. Like other adult miraculous holders, her suit isn’t skin tight and actually has different pieces to it, like pants, a vest, and an underblouse. Her design reminded me of the woman in the watch, when we first saw the miraculous of the rabbit. Time travel is confusing, but I’d like to think 70-year-old Bunnyx had something to do with the watch’s design.

I love that at the end of the special, Marinette is reversing the damage done to the miraculouses and making them pretty accessories again. Begone brutalist architecture! When season six rolls around, all the kwamis will be reunited with their holders and we can kind of start anew with a new set of conflicts and main characters fundamentally changed, for better or worse. 

[riverstardis]

survivor’s guilt:

“that’s gotta be worth at least a tenner of my inheritance” “isn’t that a bit disrespectful to our dead mother?” “isn’t that a bit sentimental for an atheist?” “i’m not technically an— i’m not even gonna go there“ agnostic ethan so true i’m claiming him!! the question is though what is cal? because the way he says that makes it sound like he isn’t an atheist but they never indicated him believing in a god or anything at any other time?

rita asking ethan if he ever just wants to punch cal and him saying “i did punch him once, when i was nine. fractured my thumb metacarpal. not gonna give him that satisfaction again.” sjskdkd bless him

jenny the nurse at their mum’s hospice, of course cal’s gonna flirt with her

ethan saying his mum’s genes were weak because none of her brilliance passed on to him… awkward. what baffles me though is that she had cancer so she knew she was dying but she didn’t think they might need to know they were adopted?

“you’re a doctor on duty, she’s here to see a patient who passed through our ed. the levels of unprofessionalism your libido drags you down to continue to astound me” 2014 ethan would like a word with 2018/19 ethan methinks sksdkkf. tbf though leigh-anne and effie were bc of his trauma rather than his libido. not that that makes it any less unprofessional

jenny saying cal got their mum’s persistence and ethan got the looks and cal’s so offended LMAO

lofty trying to tell people his name but everyone’s already calling him lofty

“using our dead mum to try and pull women? you are pure class”

the first ‘nibbles’!!!

“because it makes me want to break my thumb on your nose again” such a polite way to say you want to punch someone sjskdk

“you keep telling yourself you didn’t take advantage of her state of mind” TELL HIM RITA

ethan snapping and shouting at the teens fighting in reception. that is the way he deals with things: he pushes everything down until he can’t anymore and then he has an outburst that seems like it’s come out of nowhere

“i think your mum put that condition in her will as a challenge to him, not a responsibility for you. it was a slap in the face from beyond the grave and if that doesn’t wake him up to himself then i don’t know what will” i miss rita and ethan’s friendship <3

“good work today, ben” “lofty’s fine”

i’ve heard that holby ruined lofty which is such a shame :(

ethan giving cal his inheritance on the condition that he leaves and doesn’t come back… yeah that’s not gonna work out for you bestie

[cryptidmads]

good evening nsr community, i went through the ama from today and came back with an armful or two of lore. there’s a bunch more than last time, and i included bbj as well as the npcs. cozy up, check under the cut, and prepare for a long read. enjoy!

today's ama featured wan hazmer and daim dziauddin again, as well as concept artist ellie and animator ben fong.

BUNK BED JUNCTION (FT. DK WEST)

- mayday and zuke live in the sewers because they're an underground band. it's a pun - there were originally two variations of bbj leaving the sewers - one with mayday hi-fiving gigi (which had a 95% chance of happening), and one with zuke awkwardly fumbling and attempting to hi-five gigi (which had a 5% chance) - one of the inspirations for mayday and zuke were the two main characters of samurai champloo (zuke was jin, mayday was mugen) - someone asked about if the rest of the cast had their own shadow puppets. ben suggested a lemur for mayday, while ellie suggested a zucchini for zuke. she may have been joking. - mayday's guitar solos were done by different people, but zuke's drum solos were all done by bruno valverde. - zuke was the one who implemented the canister thing into mayday's guitar. - someone asked who of the cast are the introverts and who are the extroverts. mayday is an extrovert, zuke is an introvert. - the team does have a bit of lore for mayday and zuke and how they met, but they want to save it in case of a future project. - mayday was inspired by both genevieve from company of thieves and the unbreakable kimmy schmidt. - ben did the animation for mayday swinging the hammer in the workshop. - haz recalls seeing some fanart of mayday being brought up as a rich girl. he doesn't remember the artist, but he does like the idea. - the japanese version has zuke say he has a phd rather than a master's degree. this is apparently a mistake. - the pattern on zuke's pants was inspired by jolyne cujoh and prosciutto from jojo's bizarre adventure. - zuke's toilet seat collection came partially from a story from one of the environmental artists where one of their high school friends pranked another friend with a toilet seat. - zuke does a lot of reading and is naturally inquisitive about things like tech and mechanics. - dk west's shadow puppet abilities might run in the family, and zuke may have it as well. - both zuke and dk west are connected by percussion (zuke with the drums, west with the hand claps) - zuke and west weren't always designed to be related -- west was originally designed as "some guy who comes and goes," but was made into zuke's brother later on in production - dk west is an extrovert.

DJ SUBATOMIC SUPERNOVA

- djss' dj name is obviously a stage name, but the team didn't have a real name for him in the script or anything. - haz joked that his name is bob salad. that's not canon but from what i seen the chat loved it lol - haz brings up the symbolism of djss spinning the planets around himself and how it represents that he thinks of himself as the center of the universe. - ellie helped design the districts, and something she noted about dj's is that it's supposed to look the "slummiest" because he cares more about himself and less about things like blackouts. - dj had some lines cut from his boss fight. those lines? mini lectures towards bbj during every phase. they were cut because the team felt like they were too much for the game, but they want to share them one day. - daim says that dj could be either introverted or extroverted becuase of how much time he spends alone looking at the stars. - dj was never planned to have an approach segment, but funk fiction wasn't told that, so he made him an approach theme anyway. - dodo ice pops are traffic light flavoured, which is a popular ice cream in malaysia. it's strawberry, pineapple, and lime flavored.

SAYU AND THE NERD SQUAD

- three of sayu's creators were based on staff members at metronomik. remi (voiced by ben) was based on one of the programmers and one of the environmental artists (ellie calls him "the lovechild of two dudes"), tila was based on (and voiced by) ellie herself, and dodo was based on danish mak (another environmental artist who also voices him). - sofa wasn't based on anyone in particular, he was more of a "general otaku guy" according to ellie (though haz joked that ellie could just say he was based on him). - dodo is daim's favorite npc -- he also designed him! - sayu was ellie's favorite character to design. she loves drawing mermaids. - the progression in sayu's fight where you go deeper into the "ocean" is supposed to be a metaphor for going deeper into the internet/the deep web. - ellie suggested that if sayu were to have a shadow puppet, it would be a cat. - as for the introvert/extrovert debate, daim says sayu is technically comprised of 4 introverts. sayu herself is the extrovert mask they wear. - sayu's ahoge is a submarine periscope. remi looks through it in one of the cutscenes. - sayu's not a mech. she's remotely controlled by her creators from their computer room. - the backstory between remi and tila is meant to show that artists can come from all sorts of backgrounds.

YINU AND MAMA

- yinu's promotional video was one of the first ones done before they brought in lzbros, so it originally looked different from how it looks in the game now. - yinu's mother's eyes are yellow because she spends most of the fight focusing on yinu (who is mainly yellow). when her eyes go blank white, it represents that she's momentarily forgotten what she loves the most. when her eyes become yellow again after the fight, it means she's remembered yinu and her piano playing. - the way ellie describes natura is that yinu is a plant and her mother is very protective of her, and one of the distinctive features is that there are a lot of domes with plants inside, particularly on the roofs of the houses. - yinu's commercial was not intended to reference little miss fortune. the commercial was shown in 2018, while LMF came out a year later. - yinu's mom turning into a giant tree monster isn't exclusive to her just being angry at bbj. apparently the whole plant thing runs in the yinu family.

1010

- 1010's concept as a boy band had been around since before the team started production, but they were the last to be fully designed -- their designs weren't finalized until way later on. - 1010 were ellie’s least favorite characters to design. she doesn't like drawing guys OR robots. - 1010's early designs had them wearing tuxedos. - 1010 do have memories. - the inspiration for the butt plates came from one of ben's gundam figures from his collection in the metronomik office. thanks ben. - ellie's favorite member of 1010 is purl-hew/blue. - eloni/green is apparently the rapper of the group. - the jingle you hear from the carousel in metro division is a carnival remix of 1010's boss theme. - the numbers underneath 1010's names on the autographs are completely random.

NEON J

- neon j is a dancer. daim explains that in addition to being in the navy, dance has always been his true passion. - in the final phase of 1010's fight, he was originally supposed to control the dance moves of the factory as he was fighting you, but it was cut due to limited resources. - daim designed neon j based on ellie's designs for 1010. - neon j's factory's dance moves were all animated by ben -- no mocap needed. the factory was also his favorite thing to animate. - daim says that "neon j is to tatiana as soundwave is to megatron." basically he is extremely loyal to tatiana. - neon j was one of earliest members of nsr. - neon j seeing 1010 as his sons wasn't planned, but daim loves the concept so much that he could see it being canon. - daim says neon j's brain is "probably" still inside the monitor head. somehow. - neon j is an extrovert. - haz likes the idea of neon j being blind and using his sonar to "see" things. ben joked that the screen worked like giant glasses. - neon j originally had red dots that would pop up on his face when the sonar moved by that were meant to represent acne, and that would've been the reason why he's mostly behind the scenes.

EVE

- in mayday's side of the room when eve splits up bbj, the hands all over the walls are meant to be there to show how eve is angrier at mayday than she is at zuke. - the time signature for the music in mayday's room during the fight is 6/8, whereas in zuke's room it's 4/4. - ellie suggested a platypus shadow puppet for eve. the rest of the team seems to be on board. - eve was ben's least favorite character to animate. he said he struggled with animating her dance moves because it was something he'd never done before, and he still doesn't think he did a good enough job. - eve was born with her split skin tone. - apparently eve's near scrapping had something to do with costs. haz was the one who stopped it from happening. - eve's outfit was partly inspired by beyonce, while her jacket was partly inspired by ariana grande. the team took some inspiration from bjork, as well. - the sleeves on eve's jacket were apparently limbs at one point. - eve is an introvert.

NPCS/OTHER CHARACTERS

- part of tatiana's symbolism is how she used to be a rock star, but her flame/passion slowly burned away, and now she's just a rock, referencing how she was literally on fire as the rock star kul fyra, but now looks burnt out. - daim thinks kliff is older than tatiana, probably over 50. - in addition to the neon j dance lore mentioned above, kayane rambling about neon j after the 1010 fight was supposed to be connected to her watching neon j dance. - ben and haz's favorite npc is mia, and ellie's is dj zam. - dj zam was inspired by one of ellie's college friends, who she says "makes you feel comfortable to be around". - ellie thinks dj zam's neck tattoo says "i love mom". - amal the unicorn was inspired by lady amalthea from the 80's animated film "the last unicorn". he was originally written to be a real talking unicorn, but it was changed partially because his horn wasn't in the right spot on his head. - zed was based on game designer dzaid and has hyperacusis, a hearing disorder that makes it difficult to deal with everyday sounds. - yiruk's name is an anagram of kiryu, the protagonist of the yakuza games. - chef sunshine's design is a homage to julia child. she originally had a bigger physique, but was changed to match lylia's bubbly performance.

[honkhonkrichard]

Theory: Stanley Uris was Murdered.

Tagging @vvanini I hope you can follow this okay it’s very word vomity lol

Okay So TW because this post will touch on Stan's death ad the methods behind it

I propose that Stan Uris was murdered. by IT. In his home on that fateful night. I think that Stan posed the biggest threat to IT and therefore IT felt the need to take him out before the battle even started.

Allow me to explain.

Okay, so, I need to lay out some basic "rules" or "facts" before I make my case. They are as follows.

- IT planted it's roots in Derry, and finds it difficult to leave, but still can at it’s own wil.  If you read the book (I honestly don't blame you if you haven't) You'd know that once the Losers kill IT for the final time, Derry (the Physical town) is obliterated. Buildings explode, sinkholes appear, things are flooded. The town is in ruins by the time that the Losers leave the sewers. The movies don't adapt this so If this is news to you thats fine. the bottom line is that destroying IT destroys Derry, like ripping a tree out of the ground with all it's roots. Because of this, we can make the claim that while it can Leave Derry (as it does every 27 years) it probably takes tremandous amount of power to do so, which is why IT only goes when the cycle is over. Why does this matter? Well, what if IT left Derry to get to Stan? The murders had stopped for about a week when they're all in the Jade of the Orient. Plenty of time for IT to cross from Maine to Georgia. Side Note: We KNOW IT leaevs Maine to elsewhere in the world because of King's extended universe all interconnecting. it's not far off at all to make the claim that IT is the same evil that haunts, say The Shining's Overlook Hotel, which is in Colarado.

- IT is omnipresent This is also a given, IT lives everywhere, and can fuck with time and space in godlike (or maybe eldritch like) ways. in IT: Chapter Two, when Mike claims "IT Doesn't know I know what I know" he's unfortunately wrong, because we know that IT can be in A) Multiple places at once, B) can manipulate anything on the drop of a hat (See: Stan being teleported away from everyone else in Chapter One, Everything about Neibolt, etc) and C) Knows everyone's deep fears. This is further proven by IT Saying things like "Beep Beep Richie" (although this is Horribly Horribly executed in the films, ugh.) and so on and so forth. On top of all of this, We can make the claim that IT can exist outside of Time as well, given that IT is immortal. SO, what's stopping IT from Knowing Mike was going to call them all back (Espically considering that IT TOLD Mike to do this?). Even if we keep IT's omnipresence to the location that IT inhabits (in this case Derry) IT would still have knowledge of where the losers are through Mike. And if you take the Lucky Seven/Chosen Seven route (oh my god I got theories on that too) you could argue IT knows where they are inherently due to their cosmic status.

- Stan is the "most Powerful" loser So, obviously all the Loser's are powerful, espically considering they're the ones who Defeat IT (Again going on to the Lucky/Chosen Seven theory). This next claim is going to be less focused on what the 2019/2017 Movies do because they are Bad Movies and that's a whole other rant. However, in the book, Stan is (to my knowledge feel free to correct me on any of this) the only loser to Actively ward off and 'defeat' IT on his own without running away. He uses his belief in this what is Real (birds) to ward off what is "not real" (IT). The other losers do manage to take down IT in their own Right, but Stan is ultimately the one to Really get IT. This is because Stan's character revolves around Belief and Willpower. These are, in some form or another, the ways to Defeat IT. the ritual of Chud is a battle of Wills. in the book, Bill takes IT down and Eddie does the final blow. In the Remake (ugh) the losers can defeat it Technically using the belief that IT isn't as powerful as it claims because IT's "just a clown" (Ihatethatfuckingendingsomuchugh). Stan being much more skeptical than the rest of the group in his ability to understand Reality vs IT's illusions is a powermove, and IT knows that ability doesn't go away as Stan grows up, but rather he gets more powerful. Stan is the Only loser out of the 6 who left that has any sort of knowledge about IT, where the other losers have nothing. Bev has nightmares, yes, but she still forgets them. We're told in his chapter (Chapter 3, Six Phone Calls (1985), Part One: Stanley Uris Takes a Bath) that he has some hazy knowledge of his place in the Lucky Seven, and even goes so far as to MENTION it sometimes, even if he doesn't quite remember or understand any of it, his knowledge of IT and Derry is worlds more prominent than that of the rest of the losers.

(page 52 of IT:  "Stanley, nothing's wrong with your life!"  "I don't mean from inside." he said. "From inside is fine. I'm talking about outside. Something that should be over and isn't. I wake up frmo these dreams and think, 'My whole pleasent life has been nothing but the eye of some storm I don't understand.' I'm afraid. But then it just... fades. The way dreams do." OR  page 45: He had been smiling a little. Now the smile faltered, and for a moment he seemed puzzled. His eyes had darkened, as if he looked inward, consulting some interior device which ticked and whirred correctly but which, ultimately he understood no more than the average man understands the workings of the watch on his wrist. "The turtle couldn't help us," he said suddenly. he said that quite clearly.)

So, Stan has some cosmic knowledge of IT and Maturin and his role in the battle against It. What does any of this have to do with his death? Well, let me point out some other things about Stan's death that always stuck out to me. - His death chapter is narrated by his wife, Patty, rather than himself. The other chapters - almost all the other chapters - are narrated by their respective Loser (the caviot for this is Ben, but Ben is also wasted out of his damn mind so its understandable.) - Stan's personality is few and far between in the book, but we know he has a weird little sense of humour and that he's incredibly logical. I think that this logical part of him would be able to understand that Suicide is Never Ever the answer, and that it would cause FAR more problems than it would solve. (the 2019 movie tries to reexplain his death and it's crap and i hate the letters i hate the letters so much im gonna explode) The other losers try to rationalize his death by saying "He would rather Die Clean than Live Dirty (Page 506, Chapter 10, The Reunion, part 3, 'Ben Hanscom Gets Skinny') but he had already BEEN Dirty when he defeated IT the first time, and I think he would've recognized that. - upon finding him, Patty (in her narration) notes that Stan's head is bent back over the edge of the bathtub, so from his sight she would have been upside down. If Stan DID kill himself, why would he be positioned like that? It's unnatural, like someone Posed him. - the cuts on his arms are two length wise cuts. I'm no expert but.. that's suspicious. That's weird. - IT is written in blood on the wall. Why? Why would Stan right THAT of all things? You know who DOES like to paint with blood? IT.

Alright, returning to my thesis statement, Stanley Uris was murdered. Do I think Stan genuinely was going to take a bath at 7pm (which we're told is weird for him)? Yes. I think that's absolutely a thing he could have done or planned to do. Do I think he slit his wrists and commited suicide so he wouldn't go back to Derry? No. Not even remotely.

Let me paint a New Picture.

It's May 28th, 2016, or 1985. Stanley Uris gets a call from Mike Hanlon. Stan is incredibly hesitant to go to, and says he needs time to think about it. Or tht he'll try. He can feel the starts of a Panic attack, and as he's remembering the circles of Hell he went through as a child, he tries to hold himself together. He doesn't want his darling wife to see his break, so he says "I think I'll take a bath" and nothing else before going upstairs. he hides in the bathroom. He closes and locks the door, because, well, he's panicking. Locking doors is one of The Small things he does. Is it usually the bathroom door? no, but still (OCD is a bitch, and even with medication, but this is a special case). He looks in the mirror and tries to breathe. This is fine. He can do this. They killed IT once before and they can do it again. He thinks about his younger self, the promises made, and how he could explain all of this Patty in time to catch a flight to Maine. It's terrifying, but if his friends are going to bite the dust, he wants to be there with them, wedding vows be Damned. Then he looks at his reflection again. A younger, rotted version of himself stares back at him. IT crawls through the mirror. Stan freaks out, obviously. This isn't real. This Can't be real. But IT utilizes this notion against him. It digs it's claws into his arms, and forces him to bleed out in the bathtub. IT then sets the scene nicely. Razorblades on the counter, a bloody signature on the wall, a horrible posture of Stan's neck. So on and So forth. and then IT returns to Derry. IT's a little weak, yeah, but Stan is dead. That's what matters. the Lucky Seven has now Officially broken, and the balance shifts in favour of the clown.

So that's the theory. feel free to correct me on anything or engage I have plenty of theories on this story and I like discussing this stuff :).

[plaidbooks]

Witness Protection - part 2

A/N: And here’s the conclusion (for now)! I didn’t do the reunion with the squad, but if anyone wants that, I could. Again, I split the story in two, so this takes place right after last part. Hope you enjoy!

Part 1

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Words: 2716

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart  @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy  @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867  @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @redlipstickandblacktea @caracalwithchips @berniesilvas  @qvid-pro-qvo @averyhotchner

There weren’t a whole lot of applicants—most people worked at the grocery store or in one of the other little shops in town. But Mike’s eyes lit up when one day, you came in, resumé in your hand.

“Hello! I hope you’re still looking for help? I’d like to apply,” you said, a bright smile on your face.

Mike grinned back, holding his hand out for your resumé. He scanned it quickly, noticing your name, the fact that you were close in age, and seeing that you’ve worked in customer service before.

“I am, yes. Tell me; do you know the difference between a mystery novel and a thriller?” he asked. He wasn’t going to throw you—or anyone—into that position like Gerry had to him. He’d vet you at least a little bit first.

You scrunched up your face as you thought about it, and Mike thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. “Well, I don’t have a dictionary definition for you, but in my opinion, mystery novels are more of a…whodunit. It’s the puzzles, the twists and turns until the villain is revealed at the end. Thriller is more…the game between the protagonist and villain. It focuses more on the tension, rather than figuring out who the killer is.”

Mike blinked in surprise. “That’s actually…you’re dead on. And seeing as you’re the only one who gave me a straight answer, I think you’re perfect for the job.”

“Wait, really?” you asked, your hopes soaring.

Mike nodded. “It’ll be working every day, but I’ll let you choose if you want morning or afternoon shift. Either way, I can only pay $15 an hour. If business keeps steady, though, I may be able to give you a raise down the line.”

“What’re the hours?” you queried. The pay would be fine for your little house. Plus, the owner was waaay too cute.

Mike blushed. “Right, that would be useful information, wouldn’t it?” You laughed and he chuckled. “Morning shift is 8am until 1pm. Afternoons are noon until 5pm. I don’t mind working either shift, so it’s entirely up to you and what you can do.”

“Mornings work perfectly fine for me,” you replied, smiling. You were an early bird, anyways.

Mike gave you another bright grin. “Excellent. Come back at 8am tomorrow morning, and I’ll show you the jobs the morning shift does. And welcome aboard.”

 ***********************

Hiring you turned out to be the best choice Mike could’ve made. You caught on quickly; by the second day, Mike didn’t even need to be there training you anymore. You were great with customers, quick with a joke, and were incredibly well-read. Like him, you often filled the empty time with reading. Though, it was less time than Mike had when working for Gerry; you had to make the coffee and tend to the bakery goods, rearranging them when things sold. And with the higher volume of people, books were left on shelves randomly, making you put them in their correct place.

But the best contribution you made was your own pastries. You told Mike you enjoyed baking, and you brought him in a cupcake one day. It was probably the best thing Mike had ever tasted in his life.

“…would you be willing to sell your confections here? I can’t give you extra time off, not unless I hire someone else. But we can have a limited amount, and once they sell out for the day, they’re out—”

“I’d love to,” you replied, smiling. “Maybe not every day, but I usually make a batch of a dozen in my free time. I could always do two dozen, or a dozen of one thing, a dozen of something else.”

Mike nodded. “How about we start off slow, only selling things on Sunday? And if it turns out to be too much work for you, we can stop.”

“Sounds like a deal, boss man.”

 ************************

Your Sunday Special Treats became so popular, that it was obvious one day wasn’t going to cut it. You’d open the store at 8am with two dozen cookies, and they’d be gone within an hour. It got to the point where you’d show up at your normal 7:30am, and there would be a crowd by the doors, eagerly asking which treats you brought in that day. After discussing with Mike, you agreed to bake for both Sunday and Wednesday, for a mid-week treat.

Mike even offered to come by your place after he closed the shop to help you bake, if you wanted another pair of hands.

“Just so you know, though, I’ve never baked a day in my life,” he said, chuckling.

But he was so damn cute, and you were kind of hoping for more than a work relationship with him. Which is why you replied, “I’d appreciate all the help I can get. I can teach you.”

 ************************

It became a biweekly routine. Tuesday and Saturday nights, Mike would come to your place, around 6pm. You would be just starting baking, and he’d wash his hands before jumping in with you. At first, it was a struggle for him to figure out what to do with all the ingredients in front of you. You handwrote all your recipes—recipes passed down through generations of your family—and Mike followed them to the letter.

“The thing with baking, like cooking, you can add a little bit of this or that if it needs it, whether it’s in the recipe or not,” you told him one night.

He gave you a smirk. “But I don’t know when something needs a little this or that.”

“You’ll get it; you’re incredibly smart, Mike.”

He ducked his head, but you saw his cheeks turn a bright pink, a grin on his face.

Working so close together, not just baking, but in the bookstore as well, it was no shock that you fell head over heels for the sweet man. And it was no surprise when he fell just as hard for you. Both of you were afraid of the implications and the power play of Mike being your boss. But it never felt like a boss/employee relationship. It was always just…a partnership.

Eventually, you stopped eating dinner before he showed up, instead offering to make dinner for him. He stopped picking things up to eat on the way to your place, opting to have dinner with you, whether homemade or takeout, it didn’t matter.

One night, you were feeling playful, and you flicked flour into Mike’s face. He gave you a look of disbelief before breaking into a grin. He threw a pinch back into your face, and you let out a laugh so pure, it had Mike’s heart melting. He was leaning against the counter next to you, close enough that your clothes were touching. Your laughter came to an end, and you glanced into his face, smiling at the white powder on his nose and cheeks.

You couldn’t say who leaned in first, but soon enough, your lips were brushing against his before he pushed his more forcefully against yours. One of Mike’s hands went to cup the back of your head, and you grabbed his shirt, holding him to you.

Suddenly, the timer dinged loudly, and you gently pulled away from him, giving him a small smile before going to pull the brownies from the oven. You didn’t mind being interrupted, though; it was the first kiss of many that you would share with Mike Jones.

 ***********************

It was like you were both on the fast track in your relationship. You dated for only a few months before you found a house together. You both ran the shop, Mike raising your pay—while cutting his—until you were equal. And you never thought you could be more in love with someone in your life.

One day, Mike told you that he wanted the shop closed on the next Saturday. When you asked why, he said that he needed to have an important talk with you on Friday night, and that he wanted a free day afterwards; so that you didn’t have to be in bed early, and you had time to process things. He had seemed nervous, and it wasn’t the first time it felt like there was something on his mind while he was with you.

You were slightly worried, but also excited; was he going to propose? You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but you had no other explanation to what this talk could be.

Mike came home after closing the shop on Friday evening, carrying takeout in a plastic bag. You greeted him with a kiss, and he gave you a smile. But you could see the nerves and concern in his eyes. After scooping food into a bowl, you both sat at the dining table in the kitchen.

“What I have to say isn’t…easy. And I must stress that it doesn’t leave this house, ever,” he started.

You nodded. “Whatever it is, I’m sure nothing will change, Mike.”

He sighed, closing his eyes. “My last name isn’t Jones. It’s Dodds.”

“What? All this is about a name change—”

“It’s more than that. I—I’m in witness protection.”

You sat there, stunned into silence as Mike gave you his entire life story. He gave you every little detail about himself, about growing up in New York City, about his overbearing father and his career in the Army, boxing, and the NYPD. He told you about his parent’s divorce, about his brother’s drug problems. He told you about his fiancée, about how the hit out on him was probably one of the best things that ever happened to him.

“I miss my family and squad, will always miss them. But until the Western Italian Mafia is dealt with, I can’t go home. And that syndicate is huge; I doubt I ever could go home.” He let out a small chuckle. “After meeting you, though, I don’t know if I want to go home, either.”

You looked up at him with wide eyes. “Why did you tell me all this?” you muttered, conscious of how loud you were talking. “Aren’t you supposed to keep it secret?”

“Technically, yes. Only the FBI and that doctor who pronounced me dead knows. But I…I couldn’t give you all of myself until I gave you, well, all of myself,” he explained, his expression pleading.

You felt goosebumps on your arms. “You really trust me that much?”

“Darling,” he said, shaking his head. He took your hands in his. “I trust you with my life. You’re it, the end game for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tears sprung up in your eyes. “I don’t care if your name is Mike Jones, or Dodds, or anything! I love you, and only you. I want to grow old with you, too.”

The widest grin stretched across his face before he got up from his chair. He came around the table and kneeled in front of you, releasing your hands to cup your face. He used his thumbs to brush the tears from your face before pulling you to him in a kiss full of love and passion.

You leaned back slightly. “You’re safe here in California, right?”

“I should be, yes.”

You nodded. “Good, because I don’t want to lose you. And I’d fight a mafia for you.”

Mike huffed out a laugh, and you tugged him back in for another kiss.

 *****************

Something that Mike learned a few months later was that his driver’s license and birth certificate were enough of an ID to get married. It was a small ceremony, just you, Mike, and your parents. You both agreed that Mike’s parents had both already passed, and he was an only child. Mike got to wear a tuxedo once more, and he dimly thought about what it would’ve been like to marry Alice back in Manhattan. But then he saw you in your simple dress, and those thoughts faded away. He had never been happier as he stood next to you, signing the marriage license, then bringing you in for a tender kiss. For legal reasons, you decided to keep your last name, but that didn’t stop him from calling you Mrs. Jones, or wifey.

 *****************

It took only a month after your wedding for you to wind up pregnant. Both you and Mike were over the moon with excitement and joy. He built the nursery in your home while you made a list of baby names. You were set to have a little boy, and Mike’s only contribution was to veto William and Matthew.

“I don’t want to think about my old family—” he started, but you held up a hand.

“I understand. But what about as a middle name?”

He thought about it. “I guess that’s okay…. Have you chosen a first name yet?”

You smiled softly. “I’m thinking about my father’s name, Phillip. What do you think?”

“I like it. Which do you like more; Phillip William, or Phillip Matthew?” For the same legal reasons, Phillip would have your last name, rather than Mike’s fake one.

You gave him a look. “I chose the first name; this one is on you. Besides, I like them both.”

“You’re a lot of help,” Mike teased, chuckling.

 ******************

Eight months later, Phillip Matthew was born, happy and healthy. He was absolutely perfect, and neither you nor Mike could be prouder or more in love with him. Of course, you both had closed the bookstore for a week while you were in labor and afterwards, both of you doting on your newborn. And when Mike went back to work, it was for limited hours. The town was understanding, almost overtly so.

In fact, you never had to buy diapers—at least for the first few months. Your neighbors gifted you diapers, clothes, food, anything you could happen to need. The bookstore’s hours change to 8am until noon. Then it closed for an hour and reopened until 5pm. Mike worked mornings now; you were busy with Phillip and pumping milk for the afternoon. Then he’d come home, and you’d eat lunch together before you went to the bookstore, leaving Mike to watch and play with Phillip. It was a perfect arrangement, and you were both happy and in love.

Time seemed to fly by; soon enough, Phillip was crawling, then standing, then walking. He was a Daddy’s boy through and through, always following him around the house. His first word was “dada,” and Mike started taking Phillip with him on his evening jogs—he didn’t take morning jogs anymore, instead wanting to spend his mornings with you and Phillip. And when Phillip saw Mike working out, he would attempt to copy him, much to your amusement and worry.

One day, Mike was doing pushups in the living room, and Phillip couldn’t look away. He was still just under two-years-old, and he got down on his knees. You came into the room just in time to watch Phillip, on hands and knees, slam his face into the ground in an attempt at a pushup. You gasped and went to make sure he was alright, but Mike held up a hand, watching his son intently. Instead of crying, Phillip looked up at his father, waiting for praise.

“That was great, Phil. But try not to hit your head on the ground,” Mike said slowly, as if Phillip would understand what he was saying.

Mike got back in a pushup position, and Phillip followed. “Watch me, big guy,” he muttered, slowly going down to the ground. Phillip mimicked, eyes wide and locked on his dad’s grinning face. And when he pushed back up to his knees, Mike’s smile grew.

“Honey, did you see that?! Our little man did a pushup!” Mike announced, moving to sit and pulling Phillip into his lap, hugging him and murmuring encouragement.

You rolled your eyes, laughing. “I can’t believe you’re having him do pushups with you. You’re going to make him a bodybuilder by five!”

Mike guffawed, picturing it. “Nah—I can get him there by age three.”

You grinned, gazing at your happy family while Mike rolled onto his back, holding Phillip at arm’s length above him.

[shinobicyrus]

Meeting for the First Time Again

A short little DS9 fic inspired by @c-rowlesdraws more alien redesign of Dax. Here’s a re-imagining Sisko’s reunion with his old friend.

Besides bearing DS9’s new Science and Medical officers, the USS Bhaskara was offloading much-needed support personnel and medical supplies for both the station and Bajor. With the Enterprise being called away earlier than anticipated, the Bhaskara would likely be the last Federation ship any of them would see for weeks.

Major Kira had accompanied Sisko aboard, and had stood straight-backed and on edge during the formalities between him and the Bhaskara’s captain. Charitably, Sisko figured it might not have been comfortable for her to be stuck in the unfamiliar close quarters of a Federation starship, or it maybe being surrounding by over a hundred sapients of a dozen different species all in their matching, pristine uniforms.

He still hadn’t come to a final verdict with her, yet. Certainly she had no love for the Federation. Hadn’t been at all shy to disclose that fact either, which he couldn’t help but privately admire. It was the kind of refreshingly straightforward attitude that Sisko didn’t encounter as often as he liked, anymore.

At least he knew where they stood. There may never be any friendliness there, but there could at least be a mutual respect, if they didn’t give each other brain damage butting heads all day.

Well. That was what their new doctor was for.

He was human and very young. His blue uniform was freshly replicated, and a medical bag hung off of his shoulder as if he expected to start performing first aid the moment he stepped off the ship. Sisko had read his file. Doctor Julian Subatoi Bashir had the highest qualifications of any medical practitioner he’d ever seen, and the academic accolades to have his pick of duty assignments.

Instead of research or a ship’s physician, he chooses a barely-functional Cardassian monstrosity on the furthest fringes of Federation space.

No one makes that choice unless they have something to prove. That never boded well. Sisko could only hope the few weeks tending to a people trying to recover from decades of slavery and genocide will give the good doctor a good dose of sobering reality.

Thankfully, Captain T’Shel was vulcan and took zero offense when Sisko politely declined their offer of a light tea in their stateroom. With the amount of work still needed to get DS9 up and running, it was only Logical he take his officers and return to work as soon as possible.

Their disembarkation went without incident, though Sisko half-expected the airlock to jam again. Next to him, Doctor Bashir took in the grim Cardassian architecture of the promenade with that eagerness unique to academy graduates on their first assignment; his eyes sparkled with adventure and Sisko marveled that he himself had ever been that young. 

DS9’s Science officer was more sedate, flowing over the tall rim of the airlock on many legs with a smooth, liquid grace. Two pairs of stubby but strong limbs pushed her long body upright and brought her flat, vaguely amphibian head at about his chest-level, passably mimicking a biped.

“Commander.” Major Kira looked uncertainly at her charges. “If you’d like me to give these two a tour of the station – ”

“You and Doctor Bashir go ahead, Major.” He turned to the trill and saw her already looking at him. The face of a stranger. Still, he smiled at her. “I’m afraid I have to put Lieutenant Dax to work right away.”

Dax nodded, unperturbed at being put to work so soon after a long starship journey. Not even time to throw her pack into her new quarters.

Major Kira for one just seemed relieved. The sidelong glance she gave Dax made it clear how unused she was to dealing with non-humanoids. Sisko couldn’t bring himself to judge – all of her interactions with off-worlders before now had involved Cardassians.

Before she could herd him away, Doctor Bashir half-ran past Kira to Dax’s side, stopping them from leaving. Sisko was too surprised – and too curious of Dax’s reaction – to chide him.

This time.

“Jadzia!” He adjusted the strap of his bag, completely heedless of the disgruntled glare Major Kira had leveled at him like a charging phaser. “I was thinking. Maybe we could…” He cocked his head, boyish smile shy but still precocious. “Get together later. For dinner?”

Dax did not answer immediately, as if he...she were weighing the question. As one second, then another ticked by without a response, Sisko watched the fear creep into Bashir’s eyes as it slowly dawned on him that he was holding up his commanding officer. Sisko said nothing to add or alleviate his anxiety, and Bashir stammered, looking to him and then back to Dax. “O-o-or a drink?”

Dax blinked slowly. Her mouth curled into a shape a human would find friendly. Her voice was thick, melodious and warm like rain on a muggy day. “I’d be delighted.”

Three words was evidently all it took to leave Doctor Bashir a dumb, grinning blob of hormones stuck in place in front of the airlock. Dax and Sisko left him to be pried off the deck by the Major.

They walked side-by-side down through the promenade. Sisko kept his strides small so the four shorter limbs on Dax’s lower body could keep up without much difficulty.

While trills could stand upright just fine, walking without all eight limbs was another matter; like expecting a human to hop around on one foot all day. Any Federation-raised citizen wouldn’t think twice about trill walking past low to the ground, but Curzon had stubbornly mastered the art.  

‘Gotta look them in the eye, Benjamin. Think I could have gotten anything done at Khitomer crawling around the Klingons’ pointy boots?’

Watching her walk was what did it. The dignified posture, head bobbing and both pairs of upper-arms clasped behind her back. It was all Curzon, but eerily incongruous. Like looking into the mirror and seeing the wrong color uniform.

Sisko leaned down to ask, “He’s a little young for you, isn’t he?”

“Trills mature a little faster than humans, but we’re close in Standard,” Dax said. “He’s twenty-seven and I’m –”

“Three-hundred twenty-seven?”

“You know I stopped counting, Benjamin.”

“How convenient for you.”

Dax chortled a bubbly trill laugh. “What was that human expression you told me once? About youth and old age?”

“Youth is wasted on the young.”

“A pitfall I’m glad to have avoided,” Dax grinned.

“You’re dodging the question.”

She stroked her whiskers like Curzon used to do when he was pretending to be a forgetful old man. When...she was pretending. “And what question would that be?”

“Whether the man knows he’s chasing after someone who’s technically older than his great-grandparents.

“Of course he knows,” Dax’s upper body stood a tad straighter. “He finds it fascinating. He’s never met a joined species before.”

“‘Fascinated’ isn’t the word I’d have chosen to describe it.”

“It’s the spots. And the arms,” She raised two of them to fend off his raised eyebrow. “Don’t worry Benjamin, I’ve been around humans long enough to be able to spot a harmless crush. He’ll sigh and pine at the ‘unattainable older woman’ shield he put around me until he gets over it.”

“I’ll trust your expertise on the matter,” Sisko said wryly. “While we’re on the subject, what’s your opinion of him?”

“My opinion?”

“You've trained your share of clueless ensigns and terrorized enough trill initiates...”

“That’s true,” Dax agreed. “I happen to remember one young cadet who swore he’d be captain of a starship by thirty.”

“And an admiral by forty.”

“How is that going for you?”

“Further along than Cal. And you’re changing the subject.”

Those whiskers, again. “The subject being?”

“Come on now, Dax. You two were stuck on the Bhaskara for three weeks. That’s more than long enough for you to get a good read on him.”

“Is this an official request from my superior officer?”

Superior officer. Curzon. That…was going to take some getting used to. “If it has to be, but I’d rather be talking with an old friend whose opinion I trust.”

Dax looked pensively at patterns on the deck plating as they walked. “He’s...young. Eager. Brilliant and knows it, but even the arrogance feels like an affectation. Almost obligatory. At least, it’s flimsy enough that I doubt it will last long outside of a competitive Academy environment.”

“He specifically asked to be here.”

Dax’s hum was like rippling water. “He told me that as well.”

“That sounds like a man with something to prove.” Sisko didn’t hide the disapproval in his voice. From another officer under his command, maybe. Not from Dax.

“Yes, but it’s to himself first and foremost. I’m not a counselor Benjamin, so I couldn’t tell you why, but  I’m confident his rough edges will be smoothed over with little bit of time, wisdom, and real-world experience. And,” she added with a thin smile. “The guiding hand of a wise mentor.”

“I hope I can live up to your example.”

“Oh, I meant me. You’ll do too, I suppose,” Dax winked. “I taught you everything you know.”

For the first time since he boarded that godforsaken Cardassian station, Ben Sisko laughed. “Not everything, Old Man.”

[javajunkieao3]

Never Have I Ever: Post-Series Fic

Ben Gross prided himself on being smart.  And falling in love with Devi Vishwakumar?  Well, that was just about the dumbest thing he could do.

           But, it happened anyway.

           He didn’t exactly know when, but somewhere between first grade and watching her dance with that tool, Paxton Hall-Yoshida, she had gone from the person he always wanted to beat to someone he genuinely hoped would win.  Because she deserved that.  After everything she went through with her dad and then everything after, she deserved a win.

           But, did that win have to be him?

           “Of course, it’s him,” Ben said, voice colored with defeat and just a hint of indignation.  He still hated losing.  Even if he technically wasn’t in this game.  Aneesa was waiting for him over by the punch.  “It’s always been him.”  

           Beside him, Eleanor said, “What?  No, it hasn’t.  After you took her to Malibu, she wanted to choose you.”

           Ben listened incredulously as Eleanor explained how she and Fabiana had talked Devi out of choosing him.  It was fucked up, and he was going to tell her as much, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Devi, imagining how different things would have been. It would have been him with her, not that glorified meat puppet.

           “So, just for the record, it hasn’t always been him.”

           Eleanor walked off after dropping her figurative bomb and he stayed rooted in place, not knowing what to do or think next.  He wasn’t used to this level of indecisiveness and he probably would have just stayed there, staring at Devi dance with another guy, if Aneesa hadn’t come over, sliding her hand over his shoulder.

           “Hey, I thought you were meeting me over by the punch,” she said, glancing over at where he had just been staring.  “Oh wow, good for Devi.”

           Aneesa looked up at Ben, noting the tense set of his jaw.  “But…you don’t think that.”

           “What?” he said immediately, finally looking away from the slow train wreck happening across the dance floor.  “I don’t care about them.  I mean, he’s a tool who, based on what I’ve seen, can barely read above an eighth grade level.  But, I don’t care.”

           “Uh, yeah, you do.”

           “Aneesa-“

           “Ben, I saw the way you were looking at them. At her.”

           He went to argue, but then realized he had no defense.  Aneesa ducked her chin to her chest.

           “Okay.  So, I guess I’m going to go now.”  She turned to leave, but then stopped, turning back.  “Don’t mess this up for her?”

           He didn’t know what he hated more, the implication that he would mess things up or the fact that Aneesa was maybe a little right. The song ended and he watched Paxton and Devi kiss before Paxton dipped his mouth to her ear.  Devi nodded at whatever he said, and then Paxton walked away, not letting go of her hand until the distance made it necessary.  Devi’s grin widened and Ben hated Paxton even more.

           Devi stood alone on the dance floor for a moment, seeming blissfully content, and then she caught his gaze.  Ben noticed that her grin dimmed slightly and then she walked over, clasping her hands nervously in front of her.

           “Look, I know what you’re going to say,” she began.

           “No, actually, you don’t.”

           She widened her eyes slightly.  “Okay.  Then, what are you going to say?”

           I know you wanted to choose me.

           “I’m happy for you, Devi.”

           It wasn’t what she expected, and not what he wanted, so they both felt out of sorts.  But then her shoulders slackened, a genuine smile spreading on her face, and Ben knew he did the right thing.  Because she deserved the win.  Even if it wasn’t him.

           “Thanks, Ben.”

           Paxton came over with two glasses of punch and handed Devi one, his now free arm going around her waist.  He gave Ben a lukewarm hello which, given their history, wasn’t entirely unfounded.

           “Anyway, I’ll see you around,” Devi said.

           “See you around, David.”

           Paxton looked at him strangely, but Devi only smiled wider.

-----

           There were only a few weeks left in the school year after the dance, and Ben did his best to keep his distance from Devi.  She hovered a bit after learning about his and Aneesa’s breakup, but then they all got busy with finals and then the schoolyear ended.  Ben was grateful for the time apart.  He didn’t know how long it took to fall out of love with someone, but he figured summer break’s three Devi-free-months should do the trick.

           That summer, he lined up a volunteer program to pad his college applications just like every other summer.  He was supposed to help out with pro bono work at his dad’s firm, but at the last minute his dad hired a law clerk instead so that he could bill out his time at a markup.  So, he was stuck with a retirement home.  Everyone volunteered at retirement homes, which meant it was the last thing Ben wanted to put on his resume.  But, there was nothing else left and it was better than nothing, so he grudgingly accepted a spot at one about fifteen minutes from his house and prepared himself for a summer of moth balls and stories about “the war”.

           Instead, he got Devi.

           “I thought you were working at your dad’s firm this summer,” Devi said.

           “Something came up.  Weren’t you supposed to do Habitat for Humanity?”

           Devi nodded.  “I had an incident with a hammer.  Apparently, you aren’t supposed to bedazzle it.”

           Ben smirked.  “You bedazzled your hammer?”

           “Oh, yeah.  I added feathers, too.  Honestly, it was an upgrade.”

           “I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t want to take you,” he mocked.

           Devi shrugged.  “Probably for the best.  I mean, would you want a house built by me?”

           “You make a fair point.”

           “So, here we are,” Devi said.  “Slumming it at the retirement home.”

           “You may want to say that a little louder.  I don’t think the guy in the back with the hearing aid heard you.”

           “But, you know what, if anyone can make the best out this, it’s you and me, Gross.”

           She flashed him a smile and he felt it all the way down to his toes.  This was going to be a long three months.

----

           It turned out, Ben was surprisingly adept at being around old people, and Devi was an immediate crowd pleaser.

           “Even Marvin likes me,” Devi said.  “And I’m pretty sure he’s a low-key racist.”

           “Not that low key.  He specifically asked me to help him fill out a banking form yesterday because, as he put it, your people are good at that.”

           “Damn.  Remind me to not give him an extra pudding cup.”

           One of the long-time residents, Gladys, rolled by with her walker and said, “Benjamin, don’t forget my granddaughter is visiting this afternoon.  I told her all about you.”

           “I won’t forget, Gladys.”

           “Look at you, Benjamin.”  He rolled his eyes.  “Using the residents to get a date.  Honestly, it’s sort of genius.  If I wasn’t dating Paxton, I would totally use these guys to pimp myself out.”

           “Slow down, David.  Gladys came to me about her granddaughter.  I’m not that desperate.  I have options.”

           “Sure, you do, Ben.”

           “But, um, you and Paxton?  That’s going well?”

           He didn’t know why he asked.  You don’t ask the girl you’re in love with how her relationship is going, but he asked, and now he had no choice but to hear the answer.

           “Yeah, it is,” Devi said.  She tucked her hair behind her ears as she smiled, and Ben wished he could sink directly down into the ground.

           “That’s great.”

           “Yeah.  It is.”

           That afternoon, he asked Gladys’ granddaughter out on a date.

----

           Ben could always tell when Devi and Paxton were fighting by her mood.  She had never been good at hiding her emotions, and while in a relationship, that hadn’t changed.  He noticed it a few weeks in.  She went back into the employees’ area and shoved her bag forcefully into the cubby hole.

           “Did the cubby hole do something to you?” he asked.

           “No,” she said stubbornly.  “The cubby hole is doing nothing.  Which is the problem.  The cubby hole just sits there playing video games all day.  Which, sure, I can play some Mario Kart here and there.  I’m a team player.  But, at a certain point, enough with the stupid video games.  I am not dating freaking Yoshi!”

           Ben was quiet for a moment and then said, “I didn’t know a cubby hole had apposable thumbs to play video games.”

           She shot him a look, but then couldn’t help but laugh.

           “The cubby hole was a metaphor.”

           “Yeah, I caught on to that.”

----

           Ben found it remarkably easy to be around her, even as his feelings stayed rooted to the core, and at a certain point he became resigned to it all.  Maybe Devi was just one of those people he would always have feelings for.  Isn’t that what they said about your first love?  You could move on, but you never really forgot it.  So, he would love her and just move on.

           He dated Gladys’ granddaughter, enjoying himself but never really feeling anything beneath surface level.  But, she was nice enough, and Gladys was delighted by the pairing, even as the volunteer coordinator was not.

           “Just don’t have sex anywhere on property,” she had said in a huff.

           “I, uh, won’t.  Thanks for the clarification.”

           He was dating someone else.  He and Devi were finally sort of back to how they were before.  And then he accidentally ate pecans.

           “Oh my God, Ben, your mouth is getting huge,” Devi said, eyes wide with concern.

           “I am so sorry,” Gladys’ granddaughter said. “I thought the muffin was banana-walnut, not banana-pecan.”

           “Do you have an Epi-Pen or something?”  Devi barked at the terrified looking volunteer coordinator.

           “No, and even if we did, I don’t think we can technically use it on a non-resident.”

           “Are you freaking kidding me right now?  Do you see him?”  She pointed at Ben, whose face was rapidly growing in size.  “You know what, I’ll just handle it myself.”

           Devi dragged him out to her car, which was concerning since he knew she only just got her license the week before, and he also knew based on what she told him that her passing was a total fluke.  

           “I think I’d rather go into anaphylactic shock in there,” he said, already turning back toward the retirement home.

           “Don’t be dumb, Ben,” she said, forcefully pulling him back to the car.  “You are not going into anaphylactic shock.  I’ll take you to my mom’s office and she can give you a shot or something. She’s only a few minutes away.”

           He reluctantly got into the car, and Devi started her car, forgetting to put it into reverse before she pressed on the gas. The car lurched forward, nearly hitting the one parked in front of them, and Ben said, “Please don’t let me die in this car.”

           “No one is dying today, Ben Gross.  So, calm down, okay?  I got this.”

           It was not exactly a smooth ride, but true to her word, five minutes later they pulled into a parking spot in front of Dr. Vishwakumar’s office.  They burst into the office, Ben now leaning a bit on Devi as it became harder to breath.

           “I’m pretty sure I’m going into anaphylactic shock,” he gasped.

           “No, you are not.  You are fine.”  Devi’s words were calm, but her tone was not.

           Nalini Vishwakumar walked out of her office and stopped short when she saw Devi and Ben.

           “What in the world – Benjamin, what happened to your face?”

           “He ate pecans which, turns out, he’s also allergic to,” Devi said quickly.  “Can you give him a shot or something?”

           “Devi, you should have taken him to the emergency room!” Nalini said, rushing over to her daughter and Ben and bringing them back to an examination room.

           “The hospital was farther away.”

           Ben became to gasp for breath and Nalini hissed, “He’s going into anaphylactic shock.”

           Ben could barely breathe, but he managed a, “Told you.”

           “Well, how was I supposed to know!”  Devi said loudly.

           One shot of epinephrine and an IV full of antihistamines and cortisone later, Ben could breathe again, but Nilani made him stay for a while longer so that she could observe him.  She put he and Devi in one of the unused examination rooms, and told them to let her know if he had any more trouble breathing.  Devi sat next to him, her knees pulled tight into her chest.

           “I’m sorry that I almost killed you.”

           “You’re not getting valedictorian that easily.”

           He was joking because, yeah, his throat had almost closed up and she probably should have taken him to the hospital and not her mom’s office, but it was fine now.  Except, when he looked over at Devi, she still looked scared.  After a beat, she launched herself toward him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.  

           “Hey, it’s okay,” he said, rubbing her back.  “I’m okay.”

           She pulled away and gave his arm a light punch. “You really scared me.”

           “Yeah, well, next time I’ll double check my banana-walnut muffin actually has walnuts.”

           “And I’ll believe you when you say your throat is closing up.”

           Devi’s phone rang and he saw Paxton’s name flash on the screen.  He asked her, “Do you need to get that?”

           He watched her hesitate before sending it to voicemail.

----

           Devi and Paxton broke up a week later.  He found out from one of the retirement home residents, who he overheard telling Devi, “You’re better off, Devi.  Take it from an old woman.  You have the rest of your life to be with one person.  Now is the time to be free.  Sow your wild oats, if you will.”

           “Um, I don’t really know what that last part means, but I feel you.  I mean, I’m too young and hot to be tied down, right?”

           “Exactly.  You know, I have a grandson you might be interested in.  He’s pre-med.”

           “I appreciate the offer, Beatrice.  And offering me your grandson after I just broke up with my boyfriend?  Savage. But, I think I need to take some time by myself.”

           That afternoon during bingo, Ben casually brought up the breakup after calling out B-27.

           “Are you okay?” he asked.

           “Yeah, I’m okay,” she said.  She ran the machine and picked out the next ball.  “B-13!”  She put the ball down and said in a regular volume voice, “We just didn’t have that much in common.”

           “Yeah, I bet,” Ben said automatically.

           “Wow, okay,” Devi said with a laugh that didn’t exactly sound reassuring.

           “I didn’t mean,..” he trailed off, because he kind of did.  “Anyway, I’m glad you’re okay.”  He paused and picked up the next ball.  “N-7!”

           “Bingo!”

----

           Summer was coming to a close, and so was their time at the retirement home.  For some reason, Ben felt an impending sense of dread.  Sure, he would still see Devi, but it would be different.  Everyone else would be added back to the mix, including Paxton.  

           Their last big event at the retirement home was a movie night.  They set up a projector in one of the recreation rooms and made it up like an old theater, complete with velvet ropes and individual little bags of popcorn. They even wore old-timey usher costumes they rented from a local costume shop.

           “Does yours also smell like nachos?”  Devi asked.

           “Yeah.  I’m trying not to think about it.”

           The movie was It Happened One Night, and Devi and Ben sat in the back, watching the movie along with the residents.  It was secretly one of Ben’s favorites.  He and his mom had spent little time together when he was growing up, but she shared with him her love of old movies.

           It was the Jericho scene, where Clark Gable’s character was setting up a sheet between him and Claudette Colbert in their motel room.  He stripped down to just his undershirt, and Devi mused, “Clark Gable was super bangable.”

           “Shh,” Ben said.  “This is my favorite part.”

           Devi looked over at him and grinned.  Feeling her gaze, he glanced over and felt his breath stop when their eyes met.  They were close, and in the darkness her eyes seemed to glow.  He always thought she had pretty eyes.  Even before, when he hated her more times than he liked her. He felt an urge to lean forward. It would be so easy.  Just the slightest lean and his mouth would be against hers.  But, that would just be a kiss in the back of a dark room.  He wanted more.

           “Eleanor told me that you wanted to choose me after Malibu.”

           She blinked rapidly.  “What?”

           “After you scattered your dad’s ashes.  She said you wanted to choose me, but they made you also consider Paxton.”

           “Okay.”

           “Is that true?”

           Devi didn’t answer, so he kept talking.

           “And she said that you started the rumor about Aneesa because you thought that we were dating and you were jealous.  And, you see, I’ve had it in my mind all this time that it was always Paxton.  And that I was, I don’t know, some detour on the way, but-“

           “You were not a detour,” Devi said immediately. “You were…you were perfect.  And I messed us up.”

           “So, Eleanor was telling the truth?”

           Devi nodded.  “Yeah, she was.”

           Ben took a deep breath.  “Devi.  I’m going to kiss you now.”

           She nodded, all business, but he could hear the nerves in her voice when she said, “Okay.  Thank you for the advanced warning.”

           He leaned in and captured her mouth with his.  The kiss was sweet and unhurried, like they had all the time in the world.  And in a way, they did.  There was a noise behind them, and they pulled apart abruptly.  Their supervisor stood over them and said, "Remember what I said about no sex on property?"

"Are you kidding me right now?"  Devi said.  "Who is having sex in these gross costumes?"

"You'd be surprised."

The supervisor walked away, and Devi looked at Ben.  "You don't think she meant..."

"I think she absolutely did."

"I need to take this off immediately."

[liria10]

Favorite Benny books?

Ok so. Tumblr crashed as I was typing this on mobile. I am retyping it on desktop cause fuck this site, and I Have Opinions, and my friend I will let you hear them or so help me!

.... This got. Really. Really long. I am adding a read more to spare you guys from that.

Ok so! As a preface, I haven't read many VNAs with Benny in it, and of her solo books, I still have 2 of her Legion books to read.

I'm going to (re)start this with the VNAs!

Love and War: a very classic answer perhaps, but it is a really good introduction for Benny, even if the book has its flaws and can certainly show its age nowadays. Cornell absolutely nails her right off the bat, and from her very first page, Benny is just a character that keeps you interested. Not only does she work great as a counter to both Seven and Ace, but she also brings a breath of life to the whole range the way only a prose character can.

Plus, I think one of the greatest successes of that book lies in how Benny appears as a rounded and flawed person from the beginning. She’s not your ordinary girl dragged to a whirlwind of adventure and an universe of wonders, but an older, adult woman, with a good chunk of life experience and adventures already behind her, and while setting foot inside the TARDIS opens up a new and unexpected chapter in her life, it does also remain just that. A chapter. Benny had a life before the Doctor, and from that moment, while noone could have predicted it then, she would have one after him as well.

The Left-Handed Hummingbird: I just finished that one last week, so it’s obviously both fresh in my mind, and one I'm thinking highly of at the moment. Well I mean, it’s Orman! Or course I love it. She really is great at writing both intricate, large stories, and yet focusing on the personal, on the human side of things. And I find that this book does a great job at putting benny in the role of the grounding presence both for ace and the doctor, as well as exploring how time traveling as they do, and dealing with seven’s schemes can be frustrating for benny. That whole tardis team is a mess, and none of these people really… work well together, but it’s because they’re so dysfunctioning that they’re fascinating, and orman absolutely nails that.

Theater of War: A very different type of book, it is honestly a fun romp, and it has Benny being an actual archeologist, down to dealing with the academia side of things. And it’s the little things, but I love it when Benny books remember that about her tbh? Also, it has some nice theater theming, and well, as an introduction for brax, it certainly works well! It’s one of those VNAs that I think is just fun. A well crafted story with good takes on the characters, that’s always enjoyable to me!

Return of the Living Dad: Orman again?? What a surprise! But frankly, I love how this book is all about Benny and her daddy issues, be it with the Doctor or well, her actual dad. Between that, her budding marriage with Jason, and finding out so many old wounds reopened, I just. Really love how raw Benny can be under Orman’s pen? How underneath it all, she still has that side of the scared orphan that lost both parents to a war she was far, far too young to ever comprehend, and how that just left her rebelling against the world in general, and resenting deep down her parents for that abandon. I mean, it’s neat character stuff, but it can very easily be written as dull & cliche shitte you know? And Orman really… always get down to the heart of it all, and boi does it make for some great reading.

The Dying Days: It’s a very fun book, and well, technically works as the first round for Benny as the lead woman after all! It’s a joy all throughout, triumphant where it needs to be, and managing to both celebrate the Doctor and what he brought to the VNAs, as well as setting up the stage for Benny to go on to her own range. It’s basically one last run of the old team, and well. I do love Benny & Eight, and yes I am blaming Parkin for it. Also, big brained take to have Eight give her Wolsey because I love that cat and Benny deserves a cute kitty in her life. We all do.

Ok!! Now on to the NA, and my personal favorite era!

Dragon’s Wrath: It’s a fun one!! I do really like the story being centered again on archeology first and foremost, and it’s a good romp that has some really good take on Benny. Especially the trial scenes, I love how those one get down to Benny as someone who despite everything, loves history, and cares very very deeply about the artifacts she uncovers. Also, it introduces brax as a mainstay of the dellah era, and does so in a rather nice way. Overall, a very enjoyable book!

Beyond the Sun: Benny & students stranded on a planet with mystery to uncover, that’s already a fun premise, and then throw in all the various queer themes present, especially with Emile, and the whole scene of them all in drag performing on top of a bus, and it’s just a rather good book. Plus, I love how it mirrors the whole VNA Doctor mantra, except with a very Benny twist. Sometimes cruel, sometimes cowardly, but trying her damndest to do good. And well, that’s just Benny isn’t it? I always harp on about the very heart of Benny being her humanity, and if there’s something that book highlights, it’s that.

Deadfall: Jason takes center stage in this one, and well, I do really love Jason. It’s overall a fun book with some nice lore ideas, and I love how it works Cwej in the whole Dellah setting. Also, at least it’s a story with Jason in the lead that doesn’t end in utter tragedy, and that’s always nice!

Tempest: Ok so. That book isn’t great. The story’s cliche, the characters aren’t the best, and the plot itself? Forgettable, it’s another in the list of “sort of base under siege story in the dellah era�� which you’d think wouldn’t be super common and yet! So… why am I listing it here? Cause the concept of the planet!! The idea of a world of storms and disaster, run through via a blind train as the only means of transport? The fantastic animal life described in it??? That book left an impression of me, and that’s not something I can say of all of the others.

The Medusa Effect: … Justin Richard writes a good Benny. Like, legit. I love how that one really works with the setting & history of Dellah, and gives further information on the planet’s involvement with the Dalek war. Plus, it also got some really, really nice aesthetics. I am soft for good aesthetics ok? Benny, dancing with a skeleton on the deck of an old spaceship made to look like a cruise liner in an hallucination/dream sequence type of thing? Sign me right up!

Beige Planet Mars: That one is a blast. I remember just, absolutely loving it when I read it tbh. Between the overall description of Mars, the further Lore Implication of the Mars invasion & all that, as well as it basically being one last round of more… Normal dellah books before everything goes to hell? It’s one i’d highly recommend if you want to have a good time.

Tears of the Oracle: Probably my favorite of that whole range? (apart from dead romance, which I am not counting as a benny book) I love just, how much overall… feelings isn’t quite the words i’m looking for, but i can’t think of a better way to put it… there is throughout the book? It was thought to be the end of the NA as it was written and well, that shows. I love how it weaves the whole mystery of “what happened to that legendary archaeologists?” with the whole side of what’s basically some of the only survivors from dellah going on one last round of discovery. The status quo of the range was destroyed quite a few books before that one, but imo, it’s there that they take the time to stop for a bit, and just. Deals with what that means in actuality. And ngl, I love the entire sequence of Benny & Brax walking through the wreckage of what used to be their home, it’s a scene that works really, really well.

And well, it does a great job at setting up the future as well after all! Yes, there’s still 3 books after it, but when you look at where Big Finish picked up… they went for what Tears of the Oracle was setting up. It really makes the transition flows well between those two, unlike my rambling for a full paragraph before going to “here’s the BF books I like”

The Doomsday Manuscript: A very good start for the range! Not only does it set up the whole collection, but it also introduces the Fifth Axis as a major threat, and does so in a wonderfully well paced book that keeps you hooked throughout. I like how it also sets up Jason’s loss as something Benny is still suffering over, as well as how she hasn’t lost hope in finding him again. Plus frankly, it’s also a really good story.

The Glass Prison: You’d think that for a book where Benny spends the majority of it in prison and not very active due to being near the end of her pregnancy, not much would happen, but the way Jacqueline Rayner builds up an atmosphere of unease, mistrust and a genuine disturbing ambiance throughout the book is just, fantastic.

Genius Loci: This book. This book!!! Ben Aaronovitch writes an absolutely powerful story of Benny as a young woman, lost and finding herself faced with far more responsibility than she ever thought possible. The way he writes the whole mystery, while also making Benny as a 20yo not only believable, but quite distinct from Benny as the adult we’ve all come to know and love is just. So good. My main grip with this book is how abruptly it ends, and how we’ll never get the sequel. I want to read Terra Incognita and more of Benny slowly finding herself damn it!

Dead Men Diaries: Just like Doomsday Manuscript, does a great job at establishing the collection as well as the recurring cast. I really enjoy most of the stories in it, and I think BF started out so strong on those books srsly!

A Life in Pieces: I love it so much. It’s pure brax at his most manipulative, and for such petty reasons. I really like how it both deals with the aftermath of the Fifth Axis occupation, as well as the repercussions Brax’s schemes have for the people living on the collection. Also, it’s just 3 very good novellas in a row that build up to something more, and I always like seeing that.

Nobody’s Children: That book has the best Draconian story in the entirety of doctor who and related. Like, yeah just that. It’s also nice to see the fallout of the Mim/Draconian war. It’s one I didn’t expect a lot out of, and frankly, I ended up really loving it.

The Vampire Curse: The middle novella is one I absolutely hated, but the other two are really good, and mixing benny and vampires is just, very fun. Also!! Predating the Predator is in it, and it is a really good take on vampires in a science fiction setting that also has some nice creep factor as well, and manages to be both a good vampire story, and a good sci fi story, which isn’t always an easy balance to find.

Life During Wartime: It’s a surprisingly hard hitting anthology about living under a fascist regime, and the compromises you have to make, the personal sacrifices and small rebellions. Honestly, there’s a lot I love about it, but certainly one of my favorite moment, is when Benny, having to dine with one of the officers, miss jones & jason, sees that the officer is nearly on to her hiding peter away, and that split second moment of “if I have to, I am willing to kill everyone in this room to protect my son” before he just laughs it off, it’s a lot of tiny moments that build up to a really well done ambiance tbh.

Something Changed: While it did the terrible, terrible sin of introducing Doggles to the world, I really love the concept of every chapter after the first being a different split universe, and how they’re all spiraling more & more out of control. It’s got some really good stories in between too, though they can also be rather hit & miss. An aspect I love about it too is how impactful Wolsey’s death ends up being.

Present Danger: That one is fun, I love how it’s basically everyone vs the deindum, a situation slipping more and more out of control, mixed with some neat stuff one the deindum’s whole temporal deal. It’s again a bit hit & miss, but it’s still a blast, and as the last anthology of the collection era, it does send it all off with a bang.

Welp. Far, far too many words later, and here we are!!! I love Benny a lot ngl, and I genuinely think that prose is the medium best suited for her. I have been rather disappointed with the more modern books, I find them far more bland than what I personally expect from Benny but ah well. Can’t always get everything.

And while it’s neither a book, nor even an official story in any mean, the fanfic “Sepelio” that’s an Hannibal au set in the Dellah era is great, and the benny story I have been enjoying the most lately. I would be remiss not to at least mention it!

[gay-spaghetti]

Evil Celine | Who Killed Markiplier? AU

evil celine evil celine evil celine evil celine evil celine evi-!!! ----

This is something I’ve been thinking about for a LONNNNG time, way back when WKM came out in 2017. I remember being so sure that Celine was bad. When DAMIEN came out though, I realized she wasn’t heartless, just stoic and strong!

Buuuuuut~~ this gives me the perfect opportunity me to go crazy with an AU! So what if Celine was the dastardly villain in all of this?

Here’s a summary of the AU under the cut! I’m planning to do a MAP in the near future, so keep an eye out! :D

In this AU, Mark is still a famous and wealthy actor, but he is widely beloved and rather charitable. He occasionally gets a big head, and isn’t always very modest, but he’s by no means a wicked or selfish person. He cherishes his career as an actor, and loves bringing joy to his fans. Mark is also head-over-heels for his wife Celine, a mysterious, and seemingly-magical seer. They met through her twin brother Damien, Mark’s good friend and town mayor.

Celine prides herself in her supernatural work, but unlike her husband, she views power and wealth as what’s most important. Manipulative, greedy, narcissistic, power-hungry---all accurate ways to describe her. Being extremely intelligent, she dropped out of college, viewing it as a waste of time. When her, slightly-younger, brother Damien became mayor, he introduced her to his friend Mark, a well-known celebrity. With Mark’s gorgeous looks, wealth, status, and sweet, flirtatious attitude, the two of them hit it off instantly, and got married a few years later.

After a couple of short years into their marriage, Celine realizes she’s unhappy and rather annoyed, knowing that she doesn’t really love Mark. Originally, she was going to divorce him, but she realized she didn’t want to lose all the wealth she shared with Mark---which technically all belonged to him. So to solve this problem, she resorts to killing her husband to collect the insurance money.

Celine figured this would be easy enough, but something rather bizarre and unexpected happens. After killing him, Mark just comes back to life within a few hours! The next few weeks, Celine does everything she can to end his life. She stabs him, drowns him, chokes him, poisons him, shoots him, and much more, but nothing is successful. He just wont stay dead.

During these attempted murders, Mark is scared and extremely confused, having no idea that Celine is the one doing this. He doesn’t even realize that he’s actually dying and repeatedly coming back. He goes to his dear friend and butler, Ben, to vent his fears and frustrations, going to Celine for comfort too, but she just tells him that these are all simple nightmares. Of course, that doesn’t convince him. Cuts, bruises, gunshot wounds, occasionally choking up water, and other sorts of horrible things are not typically symptoms of bad dreams.

Finally, Mark somewhat realizes what’s happening here. At the very least, he recognizes that his beloved wife is the cause. Celine attempts to kill him yet again, but this time, he was expecting it. After a fight and a loud argument, Mark forces her to leave his home. She happily leaves, finally revealing how she truly feels about Mark. Not only that, but just a week or so later, she gets together with Mark’s friend Colonel William, who thinks Celine and Mark just divorced.

Stricken with agonizing grief, anger, horror, and anguish, Mark soon devises a plan to get back at his sickeningly evil wife. This plan....is the poker party plan.... but with a few differences. 

Being corrupted by heartbreak and the dark influences of the manor, Mark’s scheme is cold and twisted. Not wanting an actual officer or detective to be involved in this, he hires a good friend he met in college, a fellow drama student and actor named Abe, to pretend to be a detective. Their plan was to expose Celine's horrid actions to her brother, and all of Mark’s friends. Ultimately, Mark was going to make sure that Celine “died” in that house, so she could feel exactly what he went through.

Things... don’t exactly go the way they were intended though.

Celine, Damien, William, and the DA are all invited to the poker party, with Chef and Butler Ben attending as well (Obviously). The plan kicks off with DA finding Mark’s dead body. Most of the same things occur; tensions rise, accusations are made, weird happenings from the house, and more, but this time, Celine is there from the start, and Abe is in on it. Also, the scene in the wine cellar does not happen. 

When Celine starts getting rightfully accused, William throws a wrench into things by repeatedly standing up for her, to the point where he and Abe start shouting and pointing guns at each other.

After hours of intensity, high tensions, and strange evil from the house, Celine attempts to put a stop to this. She goes into that small room with her brother, finally being able to recognize the dark powers lying within the mansion. She figures out what Mark is trying to do, and she tries to end it with her dark magic. Damien is scared, confused, and beyond worried.

Meanwhile, Abe hurries to the room to prevent Celine from stopping Mark’s plan, but William blocks him, wholeheartedly believing that his love is innocent. A loud and angry argument ensues, which leaves both men dead. William, a soldier of war, shoots Abe in the chest. Abe, a simple actor with not as much experience with guns as the Colonel, shoots William in reaction to being shot, getting him right in the head. Of course, he dies instantly, and Abe dies just a few minutes after, completely horrified by his actions and the overall situation. The DA is just as, if not more, horrified, having just seen two people kill each other.

While that happens, Celine is performing her wicked magic, her goal being to end Mark for good. She realizes though that for this particular spell to work, she needs a sacrifice. So, being the cold-hearted person that she is, she kills Damien---someone who loved and trusted her. This backfires, and the manor’s evil is proven to be more powerful than Celine. She, along with her brother, turn into the entity called Dark (Dark’s appearance more resembles Celine in this AU). In a confrontation between Dark and Mark in a black, endless void, Mark uses Celine’s life energy to heal his broken body, although scars still cover his form. He shames and condemns Celine for what she’s done, expressing his sorrow for Damien, and the rest of his friends, as he only intended for Celine to suffer. With that, Mark escapes his mansion for good.

The dust settles.... and the manor is quiet. The groundskeeper, butler, and chef, are all long gone, and death overcomes the building. Panicked, confused, and traumatized, DA leaves the manor, but is surprised to find Mark outside! Seeing the pain the DA went through, Mark is shocked, and even feels guilty. He apologizes, and comforts and reassures them, offering his friendship. Still wildly baffled, and a little hesitant, DA accepts.

Back inside the manor, around 15 hours after Mark and the DA leave, Abe and William awaken from their death. They are BEYOND puzzled and definitely traumatized. Stricken with uncertainty and insanity, the two leave together. Dark leaves too, but she makes sure she is not seen. Her quest to successfully kill Mark is nowhere near over.

Over the decades, Mark continues his acting career, but also starts directing! DA is along for the ride, and the two of them, now close friends, get into all sorts of shenanigans and strange adventures.

Abe and Will do as well, but this time, as friends, not enemies. They both lean into their insanity in their own way. They both suffer through it, but Will eventually starts to embrace is, and Abe is stuck feeling traumatized and helpless. As shown above, they become performers together to find purpose. Will becomes a joyful clown, and Abe becomes an anxious and sorrowful mime.

This Dark is very similar to canon Dark, but is way more evil and harsh. She’ll occasionally stick around with William (now Wilford), but is more often than not trying to sabotage Mark and DA’s adventures and shows.

-----

@itsjustkyss @smiledog15578 @huffle-puff-ego

So that’s my AU!! I know that’s a LOT of information.... oof :3 I really hope y’all like it! Feel free to ask me questions about it, draw art, and even suggest ideas for it!

Again, I plan to host an animated MAP for this AU, so keep a lookout for that!

[manunfiltered]

I did it y’all, I saw the movie. I have already tried to write out a regular review, but it ended up being the size of a small novel so I am going to go with a pros and cons list instead. There will be movie spoilers, so if you are still waiting to watch and don’t want it ruined yet, don’t look any further. If you just want an idea of my general opinion, I will go ahead and say that the cons list is much longer than the pros.

Pros:

- Ben and Cillian’s relationship was very well done. There was a lot more Cillian in the movie than in the books, which is another good thing. There was plenty of time to show how much Ben and Cillian cared about each other, and Cillian’s death scene was actually very sweet and sad.

- Todd can’t read.

- Todd and Viola do not ever kiss.

- Viola was actually done pretty well. Her story and reason for being on the planet are different, which I will explain later, but she still responds to her situations in a way that Viola probably would.

- The Noise looks very cool. The sound part isn’t always there, only when someone is thinking a very specific thought. I was kind of expecting there to be a constant overlay, as it is called the “Noise,” but in general I do think that the Noise was well done.

- There is a Spackle in the movie, even though it is missing an arm (I guess you could technically say that there is less than one Spackle). But I actually like this detail because it shows some of what the Spackle had to endure from their side of the war.

- I’m really not sure how I’m putting Manchee’s death scene as one of the “pros,” but it was one of the only scenes that actually felt like Chaos Walking.

- Also, Manchee was killed because Aaron strangled him underwater. I personally would rather see that than hear the sound of a dog’s back snapping.

Cons:

- Todd and Mayor Prentiss already know and like each other. Mayor Prentiss is impressed by Todd’s Noise (after he sends that giant Noise snake at Davy), and Todd takes pride in this. He seems to like Mayor Prentiss’s company more than Ben and Cillian’s.

- The story of the new settlers is completely different. Apparently the main convoy could have arrived at any moment, they were just waiting for Viola’s word to land on the planet. If she had not been able to communicate with them, they would have left her behind and moved on to the next system.

- Because Viola has the option to leave the planet, she wants to communicate with the convoy so that they can come get her and leave. There is no plot about how she is meant to fix the planet so that they can all live there.

- Also, her parents did not die in the crash. They died from an illness on the spaceship years before, and the people that did die in the crash were just random unnamed scouts with Viola. I have absolutely no idea why they made this change.

- The ages of the characters are never explicitly said, so because Todd Hewitt is a 13 year old character, Tom Holland’s full naked body from the back was not necessary.

- Also Todd bathes with all of his clothes on? But takes them completely off to swim? I get that being raised in Prentisstown can make a boy a little untraditional, but that is not at all how Todd Hewitt was written.

- Todd just makes me uncomfortable in general. He is overthinking this romance he wants with Viola, which she does not appreciate.

- Todd is obsessed with the thought of kissing Viola. Viola is obsessed with not kissing Todd. I don’t know when she started liking him, she just decided that it was funny one day and started teasing him about it. Then I guess they became friends.

- Wilf does not exist, even though he is cast on IMDb.

- Animal Noise does not exist.

- Aaron has a completely normal face the entire time. He is generally not scary, he just has louder and redder Noise.

- Also they only call him Preacher for the first half of the movie, then they finally decide that his name is Aaron.

- In the scene where Todd is supposed to kill the Spackle, Viola tells him to stop and he just... does. The Spackle gets up and leaves like nothing happened, even though Todd stabbed him multiple times.

- Todd in general doesn’t seem to have a problem with murder. Mayor Prentiss tells him that he is not a killer one time, but nothing has happened up to that point to prove his statement.

- Todd and Viola happen upon the ship that the original settlers landed in over twenty years ago, and the communications equipment is fully functional.

- Ben and Mayor Prentiss are both supposedly dead by the end.

- Todd beats Mayor Prentiss by showing him a bunch of Prentisstown women in his Noise, and Mayor Prentiss suddenly feels guilty for killing them. Viola then knocks him down several stories with a stick.

- So the big fight at the end was between Todd, Viola, and Mayor Prentiss, not with Aaron. Aaron conveniently shows up while Viola is sending a message to her ship, and she conveniently sets him on fire with the fire box.

- They pretty much went with a Monsters of Men ending because Todd gets shot. Except he’s completely fine because the new settlers arrive and heal him.

- Viola decides that she is going to stay on the planet with Todd, even though she had the option not to and Todd’s thoughts toward her are very awkward. I would have been gone so fast if it was me.

Overall:

My expectations for this movie were not very high. The books are perfect as is, and I don’t think there is a way to put this story on screen in a way that satisfies everybody. I’m glad we’ll always have the books to go to, and I hope that anyone who watched the movie without reading the books was able to enjoy it. I’m glad I watched the movie, even if I’m not thrilled with the way it turned out. If anything, it has solidified my own image of the story because my own interpretation is all that I’ll ever really need. I still love this series, and the movie cannot change that.

[justforbooks]

Perhaps the single most lucid, succinct, and profoundly terrifying analysis of social media ever created for mass consumption, Jeff Orlowski’s “The Social Dilemma” does for Facebook what his previous documentaries “Chasing Ice” and “Chasing Coral” did for climate change (read: bring compelling new insight to a familiar topic while also scaring the absolute shit out of you). And while the film covers — and somehow manages to contain — a staggering breadth of topics and ramifications, one little sentence is all it takes to lay out the means and ends of the crisis at hand: Russia didn’t hack Facebook, Russia used Facebook.

That may not be a mind-blowing idea for anyone who’s been raised on the internet, but it would be wrong to think that Orlowski’s film is only speaking to the back of the class. While “The Social Dilemma” is relevant to every person on the planet, and should be legible enough to even the most technologically oblivious types (the Amish, the U.S. Senate, and so forth), its target demographic is very online types who think they understand the information age too well to be taken advantage of. That’s zoomers, millennials, and screen junkies of any stripe who wouldn’t have the faintest interest in a finger-wagging documentary about how they should spend more time outside.

Taking a top-down, inside out approach to the basic nature of the social media experiment, Orlowski’s film doesn’t waste any time in proving its bonafides (and using them to strike fear into your heart). It begins with an ominous nugget of wisdom from Sophocles, who would have crushed it on Twitter: “Nothing vast enters the life of mortals without a curse.” From there, Orlowski introduces viewers to some of the most worried-looking white people you’re likely to find these days: The designers, engineers, and executives who invented social media, and then quit when they began to understand the existential threat it posed to all civilization. The guy who invented the “like” button. An ex-department head at Instagram. Even one of the techies responsible for Gmail and Google Drive. As annoying as it can be when someone tells you to quit Facebook, it’s hard to ignore someone who’s actually quit Facebook.

Orlowski’s star interviewee, however, is a guy who’s often referred to as “Silicon Valley’s conscience.” His name is Tristan Harris, he’s the co-founder of the Center for Humane Technology, and his measured alarmism serves as a worried voice of reason throughout the film as “The Social Dilemma” strives to bridge the gap between abstract threats and direct consequences. The most overarching of those macro concerns is a free-to-use business model that coerces people into betraying their own value. As the saying goes (and is quoted here): “If you’re not paying for the product, you are the product.”

With the help of articulate testimony, illuminating visual aids, and a well-crafted thesis that elegantly articulates the relationship between persuasive technology and human behavior, Orlowski fortifies the familiar argument that addiction isn’t a side effect of social media, but rather the industry’s business model. Our data is used as a currency for these companies, but our time is a far more precious commodity — how much of our lives can they get us to forfeit over to them?

The more time we spend on social media, the more valuable our human futures become; the more valuable our human futures become, the more that advertisers are willing to pay for them. And how does a company like Facebook or YouTube (which is technically Google) convince us to spend more time on their platforms? They change our fundamental perception of reality, as The Algorithm is designed to populate things into our feeds and queues that will excite/agitate us towards engagement, pull us deeper into our respective rabbit holes, and silo us all into our separate realities. It’s surveillance capitalism run amok, as well as a peerlessly effective recipe for extremism.

Orlowski, recognizing that diagnosing the problem on such a profound scale is enough to make even the most rational of people sound like they’re suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, devises a bold and semi-successful way of making these enormous concepts feel more life-sized. Every so often, Orlowski cuts away to the scripted tale of an average, middle-class American family in order to more practically illustrate the effect that social media has on our lives. And by “our lives,” this critic means to stress that “The Social Dilemma” is more interested in Facebook’s impact on the average teenager than it is in — say — Facebook’s impact on the genocidal violence against Muslim Rohyingas in Myanmar. But Orlowski knows his audience.

“Booksmart” actor Skyler Gisondo plays a high school kid named Ben who’s addicted to his phone, “Moonrise Kingdom” breakout Kara Hayward is his concerned older sister, and — in a touch of absolute genius — “Mad Men” star Vincent Kartheiser plays several human manifestations of The Algorithm itself, selling Ben reasons to stay on his phone like some kind of dystopian Pete Campbell. These sequences first arrive with the queasy awkwardness of an after school special, and seem determined to make teenagers roll their eyeballs right out of their heads. But if these dramatizations can be more than a bit too on the nose, they’re redeemed by an emergent — and very amusing — self-awareness that reflects our own; a certain level of irony is required to get through to people who regularly tweet about how much they hate Twitter (aka “this website” aka “this hellsite”).

The least effective of these moments can make it feel as though “The Social Dilemma” underestimates the persuasiveness of its own arguments, but the most valuable passages help to illustrate one particularly alarming sound byte from elsewhere in the film: “We’re so worried about tech overpowering human strength that we don’t pay attention to tech overpowering human weakness.” It’s helpful to see how social media can inflame our inherent need for approval, and discourage people from taking risks that might alienate the online community. It’s convincing to see The Algorithm alert Ben to his ex-girlfriend’s new relationship so that he’ll spend more time sifting through her photos, and — in a frustratingly reductive way — watch The Algorithm populate Ben’s feed with videos that radicalize him into the fold of a political movement called “The Extreme Center,” a cute touch that nevertheless draws a false equivalency between left and right.

Is “The Social Dilemma” persuasive enough to convince a MAGA zealot to stop binge-watching Ben Shapiro nonsense and buy a subscription to a newspaper? It’s hard to say. But the film will definitely make you more cognizant of your own behavior — not just of how you use the internet, but how the internet uses you. And it will do so in a way that feels less like an intervention than it does a wake-up call; Orlowski and his subjects recognize how the internet has created a simultaneous utopia and dystopia, and they aren’t under any delusions that we’re able to wish it away. Their documentary isn’t instructive so much as directional, and thereby most fascinating for the implications it leaves you to consider on your own time.

How has social media shaped the way we think about (overlapping) things like politics, race, and entertainment? What impact does siloing people into their own realities have on our faith in empathy, objective truth, and some kind of shared understanding? And does the isolated and algorithmically-programmed nature of streaming video make it less of an alternative to the theatrical experience than its antithesis? As human futures become human presents, these questions will only grow more urgent. In the meantime: Quit Facebook, don’t click on Instagram ads, and — for the love of God — make sure that your Twitter feed is set to chronological order instead of “showing you the best tweets first,” because the only hope we have left lies in the difference between what you and The Algorithm consider to be good content.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[neerasrealm]

The Slender Mansion Cats

Absolutely nobody asked for this post but my brother's cat decided to climb over me at 6 in the morning and keep me awake till I had school, so I had plenty of time to think about Slender and his army of stray cats. So here's some of the notable/recurring ones

Romeo

Slender's first cat. He's the favourite, and Slender dotes on him and treats him like a prince. Slender says he got his first cat back in the 50s, and nobody is quite sure if Romeo is 70+ years old or part of a long line of cats named Romeo. He is a white ragdoll cat and has a polite temperament. Unlike most of the other cats, he only meows when greeting someone or asking for food. (Romeo was made by @dragongirl2 !!)

Tybalt

LJ's cat. Tybalt is a ginger Bengal cat that hates everyone that isn't LJ. This includes other cats. LJ always laughs it off and lets Tybalt just rest on his chest or shoulder. Everyone hates Tybalt. Surprisingly LJ managed to train him to be nice to the birds and rodents he keeps in his room. How he did that is a mystery. (Tybalt was also created by @dragongirl2 )

Captain Pirate

Most often referred to as Sally’s cat, Captain Pirate (or just Captain for short), is a small grey tabby maine coon. He has one eye, which is how he got his name. Slender tried to rehome him, as he often does with strays, but nobody wanted him so the mansion kept him. He’s a very calm and snuggly little thing, and pretty much everyone spoils him. (Captain Pirate got his full name when I was talking with a mutual. I think it was either @acciopanziku or @rottingmolars)

Grinny

Grinny cat is not technically a mansion cat, rather he comes and goes pretty much everywhere. He stays at the mansion for random amounts of time, then disappears randomly for equally random amounts of time. He’s a hellcat, and nobody knows quite how he came into existence. Sometimes he shows up in Zalgo’s realm, sometimes he shows up in Greece or a pet shelter in Canada, and sometimes he even shows up at The Operator’s shack. Doby and Toby like seeing him and often feed and pet him as much as they can. Grinny is the only cat Smile dog doesn’t get along with.

Paintbrush

Paintbrush is a black egyptian mau with a very gentle temperment. She’s Helen’s cat, and likes being around him almost constantly. She enjoys lounging on his bed while he paints. She is very quiet and cuddly, and enjoys pets and the occasional treat. It’s not uncommon to see Helen walking around the house with Paintbrush riding on his shoulders. Helen likes to speak to her in Japanese after a long day, and she often meows back at him like she understands.

Brian, Alex & Jay

A trio of American shorthair cats Tim adopted as kittens. Brian is a chubby ginger cat who enjoys napping on chairs, Tim’s bed, and trying to steal snacks from people’s hands. Alex is a skinny grey cat that likes screaming for food and scratching anyone that answers his cries for affection, including Tim. Jay is also grey and skinny. He likes running away from people and staring at walls. Jay is a very nervous cat and it’s not uncommon to see Tim carrying (or chasing) him around looking tired. He acts like the cats get on his nerves but in reality he loves them all dearly.

Missile Launcher

Jokingly named after her love of leaping off things and at people, missile launcher is a black and white devon rex cat who enjoys running around for no apparent reason. She's constantly charging up and down hallways, leaping off shelves and trying to hitch rides on people's shoulders. Jeff and Ben were responsible for her name, and she refuses to answer to anything else, much to Slender's dismay.

Sweetie

Sweetie is a black and grey lykoi cat. Sweetie was the runt of his litter, but that didn't stop him from being immediately adopted the moment Jeff and Liu found him on the street. Sweetie is a very affectionate cat who likes to play with toys. Particularly things he can swat at with his claws. He also highly enjoys riding on shoulders and being held. Liu has a big soft spot for him and always gives him tons of scratches when he wanders into his room. Jeff and Liu share him. If you haven't seen a lykoi cat before please look it up they're literally my favorite cat breed 🥺

Death, Famine, War & Pestilence

Four siamese cats from the same litter. EJ names them after the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Why? He just thought it would be funny. Surprisingly the cats live up to their names. They are loud and will fight one another if left alone. Death and War are particularly aggressive with one another. Famine likes to screech for food when he just ate and Pestilence- actually pestilence doesn't do much of anything except sleep. The only time the four of them will get along is around EJ, in which case they will just crowd around his feet and meow loudly up at him.

I drafted this post like 3 weeks ago and I'm only getting to post it now smh. I might make a part two to this if I think of more possible cats HFJDHSHE. Just know there's a lot of them around. Like. A lot. Slender has a problem.

[my-imagines-moonlight53]

Red Tallies || Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: This AU is based on an idea from an old prompt in which people have tally marks to represent how many times they have fallen in love. Peter has fallen in love a couple times, but never been loved back. Peter is college age, would say around 21-23, and so is reader and company.

Author’s Note: This has honestly been something that I’ve been wanting to write for a while, and finally found the time to sit down and write it. Though still testing the waters, so please let me know. Would most likely try to be a slow burn, like definitely be more than four parts.

Word Count: 2K

---------------------------

“Ned, I told you, she isn’t in love with me,” Peter repeated for the eighth time in this same phone conversation, but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less.

“Are you sure? I mean it could just take a while for hers to show up soon?”

“Ned, I really don’t want to say this but she did have a red mark, but it wasn’t for me,” he finally caved and explained the one fact he has kept thus far, “I didn’t think she would pull something like this, that’s why she can’t love me…because she loves someone else,” he sighed almost feeling the tally mark was burning his skin.

“Oh, I’m sorry dude,” he said after a long pause.

“I know but it’s not something you should apologize for,” he sighed, trying not to remember the events that occurred that morning.

“You can always come with me and Betty to the movies tonight, we can invite a few more people so you don’t feel like third wheel,” wanting to switch topics to hopefully cheer his friend up.

Peter knew that his friend was really trying to help but he really couldn’t think of leaving his apartment. He really needed to process the whole situation rather than distract himself from it, because he knew when he was alone, he would feel this low again. He looked down at his wrist seeing nothing but black tallies on his wrist, and let out a long sigh.

“Pete, you still there?” pulling him out from his thoughts.

“Yea just thinking about the offer,” even though he already knew that he had the answer.

“How about you think about it and let me know. I don’t want you to feel pressured,” always the supportive friend. “I would cancel on Betty but…“

“Thanks Ned,  don’t think Betty deserves that,” smiling knowing that Ned will always be his ride or die. “Think I’m a sit this one out,” his eyes still focused on his wrist.

“Offer will stands till seven, but if not, I’ll stop by tomorrow with food and can talk about it,” wanting Peter to know that he’ll be there through thick and thin.

“Yea tomorrow would be nice, I’ll text you if anything happens,” affirming that he wasn’t going out tonight, “have a great date Ned.”

“Thanks Pete. Hope to see you soon then,” he said.

Both said their goodbyes, leaving Peter  to let out a long groan of frustration. The palms of his hands pressed against his eyes hoping to keep the tears in that he kept in the whole day. Another black tally mark etched on his skin, great another failed attempted at love.

It was at times like these that wished he never learned about the tally marks, but it’s something unavoidable. He remembers days in which his Aunt May would sit down and talk to him about the tally marks that would one day appear across his wrist and tried to do her best to explain it.

“Alright Peter, so one when you find someone you really love, you’ll one day see a black tally appear right here,” pointing out her own single red tally on her wrist.

“But yours is red,” child Peter pointing out the obvious.

“I know, but if the person you love, loves you back, then it will turn red. Just like mine, yours can start off black, only depending who falls for who first. I can tell you first hand that mine showed up a month before your Aunt May’s did,” puling Peter’s attention from his aunt to his see his uncle setting down his stuff. Ben walked over to the two ruffling Peter’s hair to distract him from giving May a quick kiss.

“Hey it’s not my fault that you fell in love sooner than I did,” she joked.

“Uh, yea it is, you didn’t make it easy for me,” he smiled, “So what is this tally mark talk about?”

“Just curious,” Peter responded, “besides our teacher was going to go over it soon and wanted a head start.”

Peter smiled his tears gaining a bittersweet taste to them but figured that he may as well let out any tears at this moment. He looked at his wrist, nothing but black tallies and he would be lying to himself if he said that it didn’t hurt him. He really didn’t get the idea of what was so difficult about loving him, but then again, it’s not like he can force someone to love him. But still he just felt like a below the belt when he saw his now ex-girlfriend, if she even considered herself that, sport a red tally that clearly wasn’t his. Peter let out a loud sigh, thinking it was just to just scour his social media and start to unfollow her but couldn’t force himself to delete old pictures of themselves.

Just a few moments later and Peter heard a large crash outside his door. Peter quickly got up and walked over to the door hearing already someone cussing from the other end.

-----------------------

You didn’t know whether to be mad at the carpet lining the floor or yourself for thinking it was a good idea to carry more than you actually could  because you really took a dive just now.  You were glad that the boxes you decided to carry were filled with things that wouldn’t break, but you couldn’t help the burn on your cheeks from embarrassment and hope that no one saw your fall.

You started to stack a few things to try to somewhat organize things, and decided now was a good time as any to open your door. You decided to take a few things with you hoping to prevent anyone from seeing your mishap. By the time you went back to your stuff, someone was already organizing your fallen mess.

“Hey, sorry about the mess in front of your door, just give me a couple minutes and it’ll be totally clear,” walking over to said mess.

“it’s no worry at all,” seeing the stranger get up and face you.

Your heart jumped to your chest seeing the face that although you have forgotten about over time, you could never truly forget. “Peter?” knowing full well that there was no doubt about it.

“uh do I know you?” his face really confused because he really couldn’t place your face to a name.

“It’s been a while, but remember me from middle school,” trying not to act like you weren’t even more embarrassed then just a moment before.

You could visually see his mind thinking back to middle school, and finally put the pieces together, “(Y/N)! Oh god, I’m sorry I didn’t remember, trust me have a few things on my mind,” and although you haven’t seen peter in years, you figured he still was the same bashful boy you hadn’t seen in years.

“no worries, I mean what are the odds, that your old middle school friend moves down the hall much less spill most of her stuff in front of your door,” trying not to  make anything more uncomfortable.

“yea guess so,” already sensing things slowly ease, “So you took over the empty loft, I think I heard about someone filling that room,” quickly picking up a few boxes, “ how about I help you out.”

Judging by him carrying boxes you knew that he wouldn’t take no for an answer, “sure guess we can catch up, plus definitely need the extra set of hands,” you said.

You didn’t know what it was about Peter but he really had a way to become instant friends with just about anyone that he met. You really were glad that he still was the same as the Peter you left behind at the end of middle school. It was almost easy being with Peter that it almost made it seem like you guys hadn’t seen each other in years but can already tell that moving in here was a great choice. You found out that he was still friends with Ned and kept in touch with Michelle, which he was already mentioning that he couldn’t wait to tell the others.  you really were glad that he already wanted to plan things out with you.

You would be lying to yourself if you couldn’t deny that although you could recognize Peter, he really had matured into someone very attractive, especially by your standards. The once round cheeks chiseled out into strong edges, small chucky arms and hands became defined and strong by the easiness that he carried large boxes. however, some traits didn’t change at all, his doe brown eyes still had the same glee and his smile still captured the room, at least it did in your opinion. But now with this stance and physique, he really could capture the room.

“So, you moving in all by yourself?” Peter asked bringing in heavier objects. You

“ Yea, just me though if its gets too pricey may ask one of my friends to move in with me,” you replied already seeing that more than half of your stuff was already moved in thanks to Peter’s help, “pretty sure she will like the space as well.”

You looked over at Peter seeing that he was staring at his phone, his default cheery attitude replaced by a saddened look.

“Peter, you alright buddy?”.

“Uh yea, just some,” not knowing the right words to say, or better yet not know the right words that didn’t make him want to cry again.

“Girl trouble,” you finished, doubting someone like him couldn’t be with anyone or have someone he’s interest in.

“Um, something like that,” figured that he didn’t know how to phrase it.

“You don’t have to talk about it, I mean we technically just met,” not wanting to push his limits, because you figured that he would tell you just to be nice.

“It’s not that, I just don’t want one of our few first conversations to be about how my girlfriend got a red tally,”  the words sounding so sour, “my bad I think I don’t think she was my girlfriend to begin with.”

“Red tally, then isn’t that a good thing?” not really understanding the problem.

“Yeah her and whoever she’s interested in, but definitely not for me,” lifting the side of his wrist and showing his black tallies., “just figured she’d be the first you know,” he said melancholy as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Hey her loss and their loss too, because I can already tell you that you have already been one of my better random male encounters in a while,” trying to cheer him up, though you figured you were failing at it.

Peter let out a small chuckle, “very funny but think I’m going to head out. Ned's meeting me tomorrow for food, you’re more than welcomed to come,” he said trying to switch to lighter topics, “I’ll knock, see if you’re free ok”

“yea, sounds like a plan and really thanks for the help couldn’t do it without you.”

Peter said a small goodbye and walked out leaving you to finally press your hand against your chest. Your heart was racing, you knew that of course spending time with someone attractive like Peter was going to make you react but it was more. You knew that although you were glad to have met up with peter, but you weren’t sure if it was such a good idea in the long run. You finally decided to look down on your wrist, your eyes locking on your first tally mark. Your fingers traced over the black tally, knowing full well that the person who this tally represents is none other than your new neighbor, Peter Parker.

------------------------------

End Author’s Note: So that was part 1, please let me know how it is. Still in debate if i should include peter being Spiderman, that is the other main opinion I would want, since I am really on the fence. Once again this is planned out to be a somewhat slowburn.

[megalony]

Teacher’s Pet- Part 16

I can’t believe how many parts I’ve written for this dad! Ben Hardy series and I don’t feel close to finishing yet. I hope you will all like this part, the feedback for this series is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogermeddow​ @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @im-an-adult-ish​​​​ @gwilymleeisbae​​​​​ @k-k0129​​​​​​ @haileymorelikestupid​​​​​ @glittrixvibe​​​​​ @youngpastafanmug​​ @ultraviolencezs​​

Series masterlist

Summary: Gwilym sets Ben up on a date with (Y/n) who teaches at the school Ben’s kids go to. But Ben is hesitant in the relationship that feels like no other to him, his boys have a few problems and he has to put them first.

Enjoy.

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"You know none of the boys are asleep, don't you?" (Y/n) bit her lip as she tried to crane her head to the left in order to look at Ben but she could only just see the glimmer of a smirk on his lips.

"Hmm." Ben hummed his response against (Y/n)'s neck, briefly darting his eyes up to look at her before he closed his eyes again and grinned against her skin causing her to shiver. Ben knew that out of all three boys Finn would be the only one who was anywhere near falling asleep right now. Both Carter and James were too hyper to fall asleep yet and when they were like that Ben just left them to it until they bored themselves to sleep. Sitting and trying to talk to them or calm them down never really got them to go to sleep so Ben saw it as pointless. Finn was the only one who would be calmed down and settled when Ben sat with him and talked to him.

"Of course that wouldn't stop you." (Y/n) mumbled the words quietly under her breath but she knew Ben heard her when she felt his teeth grazing against the sensitive skin where her neck met her shoulder.

"You want me to stop just cause they're nocturnal animals? If you're quiet they won't hear you."

Ben pushed himself up so he was leaning on his right arm, allowing him to look down at (Y/n) and see her roll her eyes at him. (Y/n) didn't know what had gotten into Ben lately but he was having a rather large tendancy to be cheeky and if any of the boys saw him like that it only made them giggle and encourage Ben further.

(Y/n) leaned her head to the side as she narrowed her eyes at the cunning grin on Ben's face that made her sure he was up to something. But her confusion about his smile was soon resolved when she suddenly felt his left hand slide under her shirt and grab her bare hip. The one and only thing that annoyed (Y/n) about Ben was the fact that his hands were always cold, he couldn't seem to keep them at a normal temperature and right now they were like cubes of ice against her rather warm skin.

A gasp escaped (Y/n)'s lips at the feeling of his hand on her skin causing her legs to tense and pull up. And something between a gasp and a laugh left her lips when Ben moved his hand up higher until he was touching her side and stomach.

"Ben stop it you're freezing!" (Y/n) swatted her hand against his arm but it made no impact on him as he simply continued to grin at her.

"Hey look, they're all awake now." Ben smoothed his thumb against (Y/n)'s stomach when he could feel the baby moving since he presumably just woke their girl up but the thought only made his smile grow wider. He leaned his head back down and pressed his face into (Y/n)'s shoulder again as he continued to smooth his hand over her stomach.

"You probably scared her." (Y/n) muttered with narrowed eyes but Ben knew she wasn't actually mad at him.

(Y/n) let her eyes fall closed as Ben started to pepper kisses against her neck and along her shoulder and she could feel his hand switching between her stomach and her thigh as if he didn't know where he wanted to touch her the most. She could feel him smiling against her skin when he started to bite down at the base of her shoulder and it sent shivers tingling underneath her skin.

Ben reminded (Y/n) of a vampire with the way his teeth were nipping and pulling at her skin as if he was so tempted to puncture his fangs right through to the muscle but was doing well to hold himself back. But he wasn't holding himself back from trailing his fingertips over her skin, changing from his touch being as light as a feather to pressing the pads of his fingers down on her skin. (Y/n) kenw well enough to know he was switching between how he touched her to annoy her because his hand was still cold and he loved to feel the way she shivered beneath him.

She almost pulled back when Ben's leg moved to rest between hers because even his feet were freezing cold but the rest of him was hot to the touch. (Y/n) knew that if the baby wasn't in the way Ben would have moved so that he would be hovering over her by now and he always made her think of some kind of angel when he did that. He looked down at her and he seemed like some kind of angel or even a demon when he grinned a certain way and it made shivers run throughout her system in the best possible way.

"That's gonna bruise, you know that?" (Y/n) tilted her head to look at Ben but just as his eyes lifted to meet hers, they both looked towards the door when it suddenly barged open.

Pressing her lips together, (Y/n) glanced over at Ben before she slowly pushed herself up so she was sitting up rather than lying down as Ben did the same. Both of them looked over at James expectingly as he was stood in the doorway clinging to the door handle. He looked like he was torn between saying one thing or another, there seemed to be a debate happening in his mind making him look rather confused.

"What's up buddy, you should be in bed."

"Carter's got the tv on loud and he isn't going to bed! D-did... did you bite mummy?"

James seemed to switch from being hyper and annoyed at Carter to suddenly looking confused and rather hesitant with his question. His eyes narrowed and he looked between (Y/n) and Ben like he was expecting the answer to pop right out at him or for them to move or do something or say something. He had clearly heard (Y/n) when she said that Ben's mark was going to bruise and he had seen that she was speaking to Ben so it clicked in James' mind that Ben had done something to form a bruise.

"Buddy no-"

"You bit mum?" Carter's voice cut Ben off before he even had the chance to think up some sort of excuse or lie to tell which James would understand.

A sigh passed through Ben's lips and he rubbed at his eyes, praying that this wouldn't turn into some kind of argument or debate because he couldn't deal with that right now. Pushing himself to his feet, Ben inhaled deeply as he walked over to his boys and stood in front of them. James was still clinging to the door and Carter was stood a step behind him with narrowed eyes full of confusion and he looked very sceptical.

"Right, why don't you stay and sit with your mum for a bit, and you, come with me." Ben ruffled James' hair before letting him scuttle past to jump on the bed and sit with (Y/n) before Ben spun Carter round and held his shoulders, guiding him out of the room.

"Why did you bite mum?!" Carter shrugged Ben's hands off his shoulders when they were in the hallway and he spun round to look at Ben but the eldest boy growled when Ben simply turned him back around and continued to walk them both towards Carter's room. He wasn't having this conversation out in the hall and he wasn't having Carter get angry and riled up for no reason.

When they were in Carter's room Ben let go of his shoulders and watched Carter move to sit down on the bed. Ben turned the tv off which shouldn't be on right now since it was Carter's wind down time where he needed to settle and try to sleep.

A sigh passed through Ben's lips when he sat down next to Carter but Carter folded his arms over his chest and huffed, turning so he was sitting with his side facing Ben.

"What, are you grumpy with me now?"

"Did you bite mum, James seemed to think that you did."

Ben didn't know how to explain because he knew it wasn't going to sink in for Carter. The eldest boy had a hard enough time as it was trying to understand emotions and his own feelings, he wasn't going to understand that there was a difference between the way Ben technically bit (Y/n) just now and the way Carter bit people.

"Don't that that tone with me as if I've done something wrong. I didn't bite your mum in the way you think I did."

"What does that mean?" Carter kept his arms folded over his chest but he turned a little so that he was sat towards Ben instead of away from him. He was confused, annoyed but still intrigued as to how there could be a different way to bite someone. Biting to Carter meant getting frustrated or having a meltdown and biting someone or himself to release his emotions and show someone how angry he felt. He didn't think there could be another way to bite someone other than that.

"When I poke you or pinch you that's different from if someone at school did that, isn't it? I don't do it to be mean or cruel, I can tease you in a friendly good way. When I hit your mum's bum that's not me being cruel or angry and I know you understand that."

"Why is biting different?"

"Because when you bite, you do this." Ben rolled up his sleeve to show Carter the scar he had from when he bit him harshly at learning (Y/n) was pregnant. "You bite harshly and you do it with force because you're angry, I've got a lot of marks from where you bit me over the years and you always do it when you're upset."

Carter looked up at Ben through hooded eyes in a way that showed he looked and felt guilty about when he bit Ben. Every time he saw the scars from his bite marks he felt awful because some marks were just little dots that could be from anything but Ben had at least two were you could tell it was teeth indents from both the upper and lower teeth and it made Carter cringe. He hated hurting Ben but he always ended up doing it because he had to hurt someone or something when he felt so angry.

"Sometimes adults can bite in an affectionate way and not in the kind of way you do to feel better and less angry. But you don't have to think or worry about that, it's an adult thing and you're too young for that. Okay?"

Ben knew Carter wasn't going to completely understand this and he couldn't expect Carter to understand either. But he was hoping Carter got the idea of what Ben was saying enough so that he wouldn't worry or get angry or upset about this. It wasn't something worth fighting over and when he grew up it was something he would see and have to try and grasp anyway.

"Okay."

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Ben thought he would have gotten used to being called into the school about the boys, with the amount of times that this had happened it should be second nature. But every time he came to the school under these circumstances he got nervous and sometimes angry in case he would have to defend any of his boys.

But today was not like all the other times he was called into the school because today it was (Y/n) who had called him and none of the boys were even in her class.

He had just got in the car ready to go home after a night shift when (Y/n) called and that panicked him into thinking something was wrong with her or the baby or even the boys.

(Y/n) had taken the boys to school with her and they were supposed to stay in the classroom with her since she went in early to prepare for her class. But when it was time for the boys to go to their classes, it was Finn who didn't want to go. He hadn't spoken all morning and then started to cry when it was time to go to class and he wouldn't say a word to (Y/n) or even Gwilym. There had been no choice but to call Ben because when Finn was in a state Ben was the only one who Finn would talk to.

"Alright, I'm here what's happened?" Ben scanned his eyes around the office room he had frequented a few times since moving the boys to this school.

He looked around the room and saw Gwilym sat with Carter and James on the cream coloured sofa pressed up against the back wall and (Y/n) sat in the armchair with Finn in her arms. The youngest boy didn't look half as upset and unsettled as Ben thought he would be or as he had seen before but Finn still wasn't in a good state.

Finn's eyes were red-rimmed, his cheeks were blotched red and his breathing was fast and uneven like he was about to have a panic attack.

"Honey I'm just gonna have a word with your dad, okay?" (Y/n) rubbed her hand up and down Finn's arm but he hardly reacted to her words just like he hadn't all morning. He felt like he was about to shake when (Y/n) stood up and settled Finn down on the chair in her place and she didn't want to let go of him but she had to speak to Ben.

Her eyes darted over to Gwilym before she took Ben's hand and walked outside the office with him. Both (Y/n) and Gwilym had got their classes settled and had a co-worker keep an eye on the classes for a bit so they could sort this. (Y/n) couldn't go and teach her class knowing something was up with Finn and Carter and James didn't want to go to class because Finn being unsettled made them uneasy too. Gwilym stayed so he could help keep an eye on all the boys and see if he could get Finn to open up but so far he had stayed mute.

"What's happened?" Ben rested his hands on (Y/n)'s hips but she could feel his fingers tensing against her skin. He was trying hard not to squeeze her hips too tightly due to the frustration and nervousness rattling through him.

"I don't know, he hardly ate breakfast and he wouldn't speak all morning, he just nodded and looked worried. They all stayed in my class for a bit but he still wouldn't speak and when it was time to go to class he suddenly burst into tears. He's let me hug him and talk to him but he won't say what's wrong. Last night he was perfectly fine and he was talking then."

"Did he have a nightmare? He hasn't had one for three weeks now it would have shaken him up if he did."

Ben didn't like night shifts, he didn't get enough sleep as it was with the boys at home and their problems. But this had been the first night shift he had taken in over a year because it was an emergency one needing covering and (Y/n) lived with them. She could look after the boys and she made them feel safe enough that Ben being gone wasn't a problem. But if Ben wasn't there it did sometimes unsettle Finn and that could have caused him to have a nightmare.

"No I checked on him he didn't have a nightmare... I- I think one of the boys said something to him. He's worried about something and he won't tell me what it is but he won't talk to Carter or James either, he won't even sit with them."

(Y/n) rubbed her hand up and down Ben's arm that was very tense just like the way his jaw was tightening to the point the bone was almost pushing through the skin. 

She didn't want to think that Finn was this distressed because of something one of his brothers had said but it did make sense to (Y/n). Finn had been fine last night after Ben went to work, he had settled down with (Y/n) and stayed with her until he fell asleep. She checked on him during the night and he didn't wake up or have a nightmare. But then when all three boys came down for breakfast he was quiet and unsettled, he wouldn't eat and he just got worse throughout the morning.

"If he won't even sit with James then something is up... I'll have a word with him out here without everyone around." Ben knew that Finn was close to James because James helped to make Finn feel settled and comfortable and safe so if he wasn't even sitting near to James then something was wrong. But if it was to do with one of the boys Finn wouldn't talk in front of them in fear of getting them into trouble.

Ben looked over at Carter and James when they walked back into the room but both boys seemed rather calm, sat talking to Gwilym.

"Buddy, you wanna come have a talk with me?" Ben bent down on his knees in front of Finn who looked more than relieved now that Ben was here. The youngest boy nodded before throwing his arms around Ben's neck and burrowing into his chest. He let Ben pick him up and take him out of the room so they could talk in private so Finn would feel more able to open up.

(Y/n) hated how she had to call Ben up to come and sort a problem out when she felt like she should be able to talk to Finn and help him to open up and console in her. He had just come off a night shift and he should be going home and getting some sleep while no one else is in the house so he can sleep without worry or feeling like he has to get up and check on the boys. But instead he had come from work straight to the school to sort out a problem that no one knew how to solve or even approach.

With a sigh, (Y/n) slowly sat herself down in the chair again, clicking her back into place as she did so before she looked over at Gwilym and the boys. Both Carter and James looked a bit uneasy and worried as if they were either going to get in trouble for something or as if something was going to happen.

"Do you two know why Finn's so upset? Has he said anything to you last night or this morning?" (Y/n) spoke calmly in case either of the boys had said something that may have caused Finn to react badly but they just shook their heads.

It didn't feel like Ben and Finn had been out the room for very long at all before the door opened and Ben came back in with Finn still clinging to his front like he wanted to become part of Ben or camouflage into him.

"James, can you take Finn and sit on the sofa in the hall please?" Ben gently set Finn down to his feet and motioned for James to come over. He didn't want to argue or get angry in front of Finn who was only just beginning to calm down now because that wouldn't be fair on him. And James wasn't in trouble so he didn't need to bear witness to an argument, it would be better if he could look after Finn for a few minutes and keep him calm somewhere out of the way.

Ben kissed the top of Finn's head and ruffled James' hair but the moment both boys were out of the room and the door was safely closed behind them, a look of thunder took over Ben's face.

"We've been doing so well these past few weeks with everything that's happened and I thought you were coping with it but you just had to go and push everyone's buttons, didn't you?"

(Y/n) and Gwilym both didn't like the way Ben was scratching at his palms and continuously curling his hands into fists. It showed he was beyond angry but didn't know what to do with himself because he didn't want to cause a scene. He was trying to be calm and talk about this without having an argument with his eldest son but it was always so hard not to break out into a fight.

"What's he done?" Gwilym rested his hand on Carter's back who had a blank expression on his face but too many emotions in his eyes.

"Scared the shit out of Finn for a start. He told him that he can't call (Y/n) his mum because Finn already has a mum so all morning Finn's been scared senseless thinking that Lucy is gonna turn up and he'll have to see her again!"

The amount of anger radiating through Ben was unreal but it lessened ever so slightly when he saw the way Carter flinched at his words. He knew that talking about Lucy was something he could not do under no uncertain terms because it would scare Finn to the point of a panic attack or worse. Finn was just starting to think of (Y/n) as his mum and call her his mum and this was a huge milestone for Finn. If Carter talked like this to him and made him this scared then it would set Finn back and he would retreat into his shell.

Ben and (Y/n) would have to work ten times harder to make him feel comfortable again and bring him back out of his shell and comfortable around (Y/n). That wasn't fair on anyone, especially not Finn when he was making this much process.

"Why would you say something like that?"

(Y/n) smoothed her thumb over her stomach as she watched Carter look away from her and his emotionless expression finally changed so that he was now looking angry and sorry for himself. She knew that Carter had a problem not wanting to share (Y/n) with a new baby but she didn't think he was bothered by James or Finn calling her mum too. Her and Ben had made it clear that she was a mother to all of them, it didn't make her less of Carter's mum if she had a baby or the boys saw her as their mother too.

All eyes fell onto Carter but he simply huffed and wrapped his arms around his chest and tipped his head down, refusing to look at any of them.

"Answer your mum Carter." Gwilym spoke quietly but encouragingly as he nudged Carter with his elbow to try and get him to open up. He couldn't stay silent forever and if he didn't answer soon Ben was going to get a lot angrier with him and no one wanted that.

"Honey you seem to be okay with us having a baby and sharing me with a baby, why would you tell Finn not to call me his mum too?"

"Carter start fucking talking because I'm not having this. I've worked a twelve hour shift and I haven't slept in over thirty six hours. I've come straight from work to see why Finn is so distressed this morning and it's your fault. You should all be in class and I should be in bed so you tell me why the Hell you were so fucking spiteful because I need to go home for some sleep before I pass out!"

Ben needed to be home in bed right now but he wasn't, he was here trying to sort out a mess that Carter had created just when Ben thought they were all getting along and things were starting to pick up.

"Because Finn and James have mums, you're my mum and I like you being just my mum. I don't want to share you... dad said the baby won't have another mum but you so I guess I don't mind sharing with the baby." Carter didn't like sharing, he liked (Y/n) being his mum because it felt loving and special and like it was just his own connection with her that he didn't have to share or compete with anyone else for.

Ben said that the baby was (Y/n)'s baby and therefore wouldn't have any other mother like all the boys technically did and Carter understood that. He understood that (Y/n) was the baby's mum and therefore he had to share her with his only sister, it made sense. But he didn't want to share with anyone else. Sometimes Carter saw the situation as if (Y/n) was one of his teddies, the more he had to share the teddy with his brothers, the less it became his. Or like a cake, the more people who wanted some meant the less Carter got for himself and he didn't like that.

"If that's how you think then you don't get to call (Y/n) your mum."

Ben's sudden words shocked everyone in the room who looked at him with wide eyes and fear on their faces. Gwilym knew how Carter would react to that therefore he held onto Carter's shoulder just in case he felt the need to lash out. And (Y/n)'s hand pressed firmer against her stomach as she looked up at Ben in confusion. Why was he saying that, what did it mean? He knew how Carter would react to that.

"What? B-but she's my mum-"

"Carter calm down, your dad probably didn't mean that." Gwilym looked at Ben in confusion, squinting behind his glasses as he shook his head signalling to Ben to either stop or explain.

"No, I mean it. If you think that James and Finn can't call (Y/n) their mum because they already technically have a mother then you can't call her your mum because you technically have Jamie."

Carter couldn't apply that kind of logic to his brothers and not have it applied or backfired on himself. If the boys couldn't call (Y/n) their mum because she didn't give birth to them then neither could Carter. What he said to Finn was beyond unfair and cruel and he knew exactly how his brother would react but he did it anyway. Ben wouldn't let Carter do that because Carter knew how unsettled Finn could get and if it was the other way around Carter would shout and scream if Finn did something like that to him.

"What you said to Finn was fucking cruel and you know it, you know Lucy was a bad person and we do not mention her, especially not in front of Finn. If you're gonna be this cruel, selfish and possessive over (Y/n) then you don't get treated any differently than how you treat everyone else. You need to learn that you are as equally loved as your brothers and sister, you aren't any more or less loved and looked after."

"B-but it's not fair-"

"No, what you did to Finn was not fair and I'll go above and beyond that right now. (Y/n) has done everything for all of you and if you're going to act like this then you do not call her your mum because you don't deserve that privilege unless you start to be fair. Do you understand me?"

If Carter was going to be petty and cruel because he felt unsettled about sharing (Y/n) then he couldn't expect to be treated normally or exceptionally. He either had to cope with the fact that his siblings calling (Y/n) their mum was normal and okay or he couldn't call her that. Ben was putting his foot down, he and (Y/n) were parents to all the boys and to their daughter and that was it. They loved all of them equally and they cared for them and were trying to give them the attention they needed.

Carter may not understand or be coping with this very well but he had to learn because this was the way things were going to be and this was the best his life had ever been in a long time. He wasn't losing anything or being left out or unloved by sharing (Y/n) with his siblings, he gained unconditional love from both his parents and he needed to know that their love for him wasn't strained or shared or restricted.

Their love for all their children was endless.