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#even if;;;;;;;;; she's not intended for the group;;;;;;;;;;;
fubblers · 3 days
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I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to cope with just. Encountering zionists.
I was in an idol server talking about girl groups I liked. And two people started talking about how scary and annoying the bombing is and how they can’t wait to go on vacation after the terrorists are killed. And saying shit like “[jpop idol] will help us beat hamas!” Hello? What world do you live in?
What world do you live in where your heart is not torn open and bleeding? How do you look at the death tolls and think about vacation? Why do you hold up a teen girl celebrity from another country as a symbol of massacre?
At work we have a customer who is notorious for being an issue. Today she emailed in asking if we could ship to Israel. We can’t, we only ship domestic. But I just couldn’t answer her. I couldn’t email back. I had to send it to my boss.
I don’t know anything about her or her politics or her beliefs. But the thought of someone casually sending a $200 gift to Israel without a second thought just kind of broke me. Genuinely what world does she live in. Who is she gifting this home goods product to? Clearly they don’t intend to leave if she’s sending them $200 worth of home decor. What are these peoples lives like?
The weight of an entire genocide is more than one person could ever bear. Are you not torn to pieces trying to carry even a fraction of it? Do you truly feel nothing?
If you feel something at reading all that, please match my $20 donation to Mohammed. He has a beautiful family that he worked so hard for.
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sigilslvt · 2 days
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HOW DEEP • SUGURU GETO
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☣︎ Summary: It’s rush week at your college and your boyfriend chooses to put his prospective fraternity above your relationship. When you find out, you’re left devastated and, well… in need of a SERIOUS cover-up considering you’d gotten his name tattooed on your ass just two months ago. Good thing famed tattooist, Suguru Geto, has a shop by campus.
Pairing: Tattoist Geto Suguru x Fem Reader
Tags: modern au, pierced geto, tattooed geto, smut, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), p in v, cam sex, squirting, creampie, marking
WC: 7.6k
Art: yoroz_roz on Twitter!
A/N: This was a lot longer than I intended, you’re welcome!
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Rush week. You’d prepared yourself for this week to be stressful given the fact that you’re in a new state, far away from your family and friends for the first time in your life. You had decided to commit to the same university as your long-time boyfriend, Ryōmen, and so far, you guys have kept to yourselves and relished in the lack of parental hovering. The problem is, since rush week started, Ryōmen’s been busy with all things fraternity related and you’ve been stuck trying to figure out college life on your own.
Normally being away from him wouldn’t be so bad, it was always as simple as hanging out with friends from home or just cruising around your home state, but you’ve got no friends here and no idea where to go to keep busy. Hence the dilemma at hand and the reason you’re in sweats and a sweater sitting cross legged on your bed in your dorm on a Friday night, of all nights. Your music plays loudly in your headphones, a soft vibration playing against your skull every time the bass thumps just right, your body idly bouncing with the beat. You don’t even notice a voice sounding out until you feel a firm nudge against your shoulder, which makes you look to your side in surprise to see your roommate, Yuki, sitting next to you and waving to get your attention. Your fingers find the pause button on your phone and you slide your headphones down to wrap around your neck.
“Damn, girl, I was beginning to think you were in some sort of trance while praising the devil, jeez. What kind of music is that, anyways!?” She asks, her brows knitting together in both confusion and amusement as she looks at the song cover on your phone, shaking her head.
“S-sorry, sometimes I just need to drown the world out, y’know?” You sheepishly respond, chuckling and flipping your phone around, a bit insecure. Normally, you wouldn’t be so nervous— back home, you had your clique and your tastes aligned perfectly. There was never a worry about being an outsider when in a group of a bunch of goth-grunge addicted teens. But, this was different. You’re in California, now, and there’s nothing but sun, bright colors, preppy girls all around you. You were the odd one out, now.
“Girl!” Yuki snaps in front of your face, making you realize you’d drifted off in thought while she was talking to you.
“Sorry, sorry! What were you saying?” You ask, shaking yourself out of it and rolling your shoulders back, showing her you’re actively listening to whatever it is that she’s trying to say.
“I was saying that you CLEARLY need to get out and what kind of roomie would I be if I didn’t help you get what you need, hm? Get up. There’s a party at Phi Gamma tonight and you, my sweet shut-in, will be coming. No questions asked.” She tells you, already standing and grabbing your hand, dragging you to your closet and planting you there while she opens it.
One thing you’ve learned since getting here and meeting Yuki? Arguing with her is futile. If she doesn’t convince you to do something she thinks is for your own good the first go around, you bet your ass she’s gonna take you by the neck and make you do it. It’s sort of endearing, because you know she means well, it’s just not the type of personality you’re used to.
“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve go— oh? You’ve been holding out on me, I see! What’s with the constant sweats and sweaters when you’ve got style like this!?” She asks after opening your closet, her eyes wide as she sees the amount of clothes, most being pre-made outfits, you have in there. You’re grateful she doesn’t mention the amount of black in your wardrobe that’s only separated by bits of white and grey. “Here, this should be great, go shower and get ready. We leave in forty-five!” You feel the outfit being shoved against your chest before you even see it, making you chuckle at her eagerness before you head to the bathroom.
Thirty minutes later and you’ve showered, done your hair, and perfected your makeup. You’re wearing a black and grey striped sweater that stops mid-rib, dark denim shorts with torn fishnets beneath them, and Gaya 10-Eye Alt Doc Martens— your favorites. You layered some chains, a choker, and a long belt atop your outfit to top it off and switch your two nose studs and septum piercing to silver jewelry to complement the outfit. You do the same with your earrings, nearly forgetting to. Your makeup is dark and sultry, as per usual, a black lip paired with black eyeshadow and liner save for a pop of dark purple in the center of your lids and your under eye. Your hair is down, a black bandana keeping it back save for two strands of hair you keep out in front of your face.
You make your way out of the bathroom and Yuki turns to you, her mouth falling open at the sight of you. “What… the… fuck? Ok I see why your boyfie kept you cooped up here for two weeks after move-in. You’re hot, bitch! And these tattoos? They fuck. Hard.” She compliments you, making you chuckle. She gets closer to trace the cybersigilism tattoo that dawns your neck and collarbones, all the way down to the start of your cleavage. You raise your brow, a bit awkward given how comfortable she is, which she seems to realize, prompting her to step away. “Sorry! I’ve just never seen tats like that before! The ones on your legs are insane, I’d never cover up if I were you.” She shakes her head.
You shake your head and chuckle, but it does prompt a nagging voice in the back of your head asking you why exactly it is that you’ve been covering up head to toe. Was it because you’re scared of being an outcast? Is the weather too hot? No, that’s not it. You think back to a conversation you had with Ryō about being more tame while you were sat on your bed in your dorm. Something about not wanting to seem like the average college e-girl who gets around freshman year. You frown at the memory and shrug at Yuki. “Just haven’t had a reason to get dressed up yet.” You reason, making her shake her head, eyes still wide as she looks you over.
She stops ogling you to finish her own makeup, popping some lip gloss on before clapping once, turning to you. “‘Kay, let’s go!”
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
The walk to Phi Gamma isn’t bad in the least and you’re grateful for the California heat persisting through the night. If you were back in Washington, you’d have icicles dripping down your nose right now given it’s ten at night in the beginning of October.
You walk into the frat house with Yuki and you’re immediately suffocated with the smell of hookah smoke, ear-ruining loud music, and so many people. Too many to fit in the house, that’s for sure, but that’s never mattered when it came to parties.
“C’mon, let’s get you loosened up, first!” Yuki screams close to your ear so you hear her over the music, taking your hand to lead you to the kitchen. She pours you a cup of something dark before grabbing a coke and moving to pour that as well, but you hold your hand up to stop her.
“‘M okay, I don’t like mixers or chasers.” You tell her, making her raise her brows and hold her arms up as if to tell you to suit yourself, making you smile widely. You both down your drinks at the same time and she pours another with you both downing them again. With that, she leans close to your ear, speaking loudly enough for you to hear over the music.
“I’m gonna go see if I can find some weed, you smoke?” She asks and you shake your head.
“Not weed.” You respond, reaching in your pocket to show her your pack of Marlboros, scrunching your own face up in disgust and shame. You’re slowly quitting, though, so you give yourself props for that.
She shrugs and heads off, leaving you to yourself. You look around, trying to find a good spot to hang out in before you head to it only to be stopped by a soft pair of hands. “Hey! You’re in my Neurophilosophy class!” You hear the girl say, making you shrug with a nod. “I didn’t think I’d see you here! Didn’t seem like the type to like frat parties! I’m Utahime.” She shouts, clearly a little tipsy judging by the red tint of her cheeks.
You offer her a kind smile and your name before you start heading toward the spot you’d sought out, but she catches your hand and stops you. “Wait! Wanna dance? It’s just that… you’re the only one here I know besides my dumbass friend who’s probably off somewhere bragging about being ‘The Honored One’ because he caught the Phi Gamma chicken for initiation. Apparently that warrants a parade in his name or something.” She says, rolling her eyes at said friend’s antics. When you raise your brow in confusion, she chuckles. “Every year during rush week, Phi Gamma lets out this cursed looking demon chicken from Hell for their pledges to catch. They say it never gets caught before making it back to its coop, but leave it to him to do it. First time in seven years. It’s silly, really.” She explains, waving the conversation away. “So, will you?”
You don’t know if it’s the alcohol, you pitying her situation, or just the fact that you’re happy to meet someone else who actively wants to hang out, but you find yourself saying yes and following her into the crowd of unbelievably sweaty frat boys and sorority girls doused in pink. Literally. Body paint everywhere. You’re sure to avoid stains as you dance with Utahime, chucking as she does the robot to get you to crack a smile. As time passes, you find yourself dancing so close to her that you’re sure you’ll merge into one being soon.
You let a bit more time pass before you decide on another drink, leaning forward to shout in her ear so she hears you. “I’m gonna get another drink, want one?” You ask, earning a head shake from her. Shrugging, you push through the crowd and find yourself in the kitchen again, pouring yourself another red solo cup full of alcohol. You sip on it, smiling to yourself because even though you miss Ryo, you’re still having a better time than you thought you would. That’s when you hear it.
“Bro, have you seen this shit!? No fuckin’ way did Zeta Nu initiate their pledges like this!” A guy shouts to his friend, your ears tuning into the sound of your beloved boyfriend’s frat name. You turn to see him showing his friend a video on his phone and you smile to yourself, happy the initiation is over and looking forward to being told whatever silly thing they had Ryo do.
“I fuckin’ WISH Phi Gamma would make us bang some sorority thot to get in! You think it was to count out whoever came first? Damn, look at bro with the pink hair going in like his life depends on this shit!” You hear the other voice speak up and your heart drops. A knot forms in your stomach and your hand gets clammy around your cup. Of course your mind is going toward the worst case scenario and before you can even think, your feet have carried you to the two guys, your other hand reaching for the phone the first one is holding.
“Lemme see this.” You say, the douche saying something about adding your number while you’re at it, but it’s drowned out into the background noise because you’re zoned in on one thing. Your boyfriend banging a sorority girl and smiling at the camera while flexing his fucking bicep. Flexing. He’s fucking living for this.
You feel bile creeping up your throat and you shove the phone against the guy’s chest, making your way to the door. The second you get outside, you hunch over and puke in the bushes, sobering up by the second. Your hand grasps at your chest and you feel it hammering so hard as though it’s trying to escape. Your other fishes your phone out of your pocket and you flinch seeing Ryōmen has texted you.
Him: I love you <3
You fight the urge to throw up again, your fingers typing back quickly.
You: I love you so much, Ryo. Miss you and wanna see you. May have drank a bit too much, hehe :3 Can I come see you?
You hit send, not even bothering to wait for an answer before you push yourself to head to his dorm, ready to use the excuse that you’re drunk and wanted to see him when you show up. Your phone pings and you open it faster than you thought humanly possible to see another text from him.
Him: Come to me, baby.
Before you know it, you’re at his door, knocking rather hard, if you were being honest, but you don’t care. Not seconds later, he opens it and pulls you into him, immediately moving to kiss your neck, which makes you want to shed your skin. When he doesn’t feel you reciprocate, he pulls away and frowns, eyes searching yours. “What’s the matter, hm?” He asks, head wobbling as the smell of alcohol hits your face. He’s drunk.
You walk into his room with an annoyed sigh, closing the door behind you and pacing for a moment before stopping in front of him. “Ryōm–”
“Y’look so hot, baby. Why were you out drinking looking this hot without me?” He asks with a frown, making you scoff unexpectedly.
“You really don’t wanna bark up that tree right now, Ryo. I need t–” You start, but he interrupts you again.
“And why d’you keep using my name?” He asks.
“Jesus fuck, Ryo. Let me talk!” You shout, your hands flailing for a second. He nods, mocking you with a stupid look on his face silently, making you seethe. “Tell me it isn’t true.” You say, earning a confused look from him. “Tell me you didn’t fuck some random girl to get into a fucking FRATERNITY, Ryo. Tell me you’re not that fucking insane.Tell me you didn’t just throw away YEARS with me after I came all this way to be with you.” You say, your voice firm. You surprise yourself with the fact that no tears have formed in your eyes just yet, the anger far more overwhelming than sadness.
His look of confusion turns to pure shock and it’s like a cold pitcher of water has just been flung in his face. “Who told y– babe. Babe, it was just a stupid fucking initiation thing, it’s not like I actually cheated. You’re my girlfriend, you should be happy, I’m in! I made it because I did what it took and that shows drive. Why the fuck are you even upset right now?” He asks and you have to do a double take to confirm what you thought you saw in his face. He’s genuinely pissed and confused that you’re upset right now.
That does it for you. “Are you saying… you didn’t cheat… because it was for an initiation? You want me to be HAPPY that you stuck your dick in someone that isn’t me? Fuck you, Ryōmen. I don’t know you at all. The boy I fell in love with would have been a man and turned the stupid fucking initiation down. This frat? Would have only mattered while here. Us? We were supposed to be together until death. Fuck you for choosing something so stupidly temporary. We’re done.” You spit out, rage bubbling in your core like you’re made from it. He grabs your wrist as you make your way out of his room, but you tear it away, every part of you in utter disbelief that you ever let a man like him touch you at all.
You make your way outside, your phone pinging again and again, no doubt messages from him trying to gaslight you into believing he did what he had to do for his future. You ignore them, sucking in the fresh air like your life depends on it and taking in your surroundings, still hoping in the back of your mind that they’ll all melt away and you’ll wake up from this nightmare. You, someone who’s always been mindful of your future and who has always taken care to do what’s best for you, are now in a new state so far from everyone you love all alone because of a boy. A fucking boy.
You take off the promise ring he gave you for your five year anniversary and toss it as far as you can, hating the idea of having a symbol of what you thought was true love with him on your body… and then you roll your eyes as you facepalm. Your fucking tattoo. Against the advice of literally everyone you know, you’d gotten a tattoo of his name on the top of your ass. “Fuck me…” You mutter to yourself, immediately googling a tattoo studio near you.
“Cursed Ink Studios…” You read the top result out loud, seeing it’s only a thirteen minute walk from here. With an annoyed shrug, you start making your way there, silently cursing yourself for assuming it’d stay warm all night. The cold nips at your practically exposed thighs and your nose turns its familiar shade of red quickly. You pick up the pace, hoping to find warmth in the studio.
A cigarette and a half later, you find yourself in front of the studio, snubbing out the last half of your cigarette and flicking it into the trash can. The bell above the door chimes as you make your way in and you’re greeted by a brunette woman who looks… worn down, to say the least. No doubt from the loads of drunken college students who’ve wandered in here tonight.
“Welcome to Cursed Ink Studios, my name’s Shoko. How can we help you tonight, babe?” She asks, leaning forward on the reception desk. You appreciate the fact that she doesn’t comment on the fact that you’ve thoroughly been done in by the cold wind that’s whipped your hair in every direction and kissed your nose until it’s red.
You shift on your feet, scratching your head. “I, uhh… I need a cover-up done.” You say, making her sigh as though she feels sorry for you.
“I’m sorry, babe, but cover-ups need an appointment ahead of time.” She says, earning a face palm from you. You nod and turn to head out, but a voice stops you.
“Wait. It’s fine, Shoko. I have time.” A smooth, deep voice sounds out from deeper within the studio and you turn toward it to see quite possibly the hottest man you’ve ever laid eyes on. His skin is like cream, hair half tied up letting the rest fall down his back and shoulders, his eyebrow is adorned with a piercing, and gauges are sported on his ear lobes. He’s wearing a black tank top that hangs loose on him, his arms both covered in tattoos, the most notable one being a large dragon on his right arm. He’s carrying keys, which lets you know he was likely about to head home and you feel guilt pooling in your stomach.
You can’t help but clam up at the sight of him and you gulp before shaking your head. “N-No, it’s okay, really, it’s late and I should have known I’d need an appointment. Y-You probably wanna get home, seriously, it’s okay.” You say, trying desperately to keep your voice steady. He chuckles, eyes closing as he shakes his head and you look to Shoko, who gives him a knowing look, rolling her eyes.
“Nah, you’re good. What’re you needing covered up, angel?” He asks you, making your heart flutter. You don’t know if it’s the alcohol in your system making you so flustered, but it’s a welcome feeling compared to the anger you feel when thinking of Ryōmen. Which reminds you…
“So, and I’m prepared for all the judgment you’re probably gonna throw my way, I got my boyf— EX boyfriend’s name tattooed on my ass cheek a couple months back. Turns out he’s a cheating dickhead, so I need to get it covered up. Preferably with something similar to my current tattoos. Maybe… uhh… maybe a—“ He chuckles and interrupts you.
“I got you. And I’ll spare the criticism of your choice to tattoo his name. Just fill out the forms with Shoko and I’ll go get set up in my room. I’ll sketch something out, too. Cybersigilism, huh?” He asks, smirking as he nods at you while walking backward to give you a once over before he heads to his station.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
After filling out the forms, you slowly walk to the room you saw the man head to and you find him working on an iPad, drawing. “You can sit down, angel, I’m just finishing up.” He says, gesturing to his tattoo bed. You take the opportunity to look around his room, gawking at all of the drawings and photos of tattoos he has splayed on his walls. The decor matches your tastes, goth-grunge styling everywhere. It looks like he specializes in cybersigilism and neo tribal tattoos, which helps to reinforce your confidence in him.
“Geto Suguru, by the way.” He says, suddenly towering above you. You hadn’t even noticed he stood up and looking up at him from this angle makes your heart race. You tell him your name and his face takes on a look that you can only assume is curiousness, but he quickly changes his expression to a smirk. “So, here’s what I’ve got. Noticed the hearts you’ve got around your knees and the eyes you’ve got on your neck, so I decided I’d go with a sword. Figured it’d be fitting.” He chuckles as he shows you the iPad, which manages to draw a quick laugh from you.
“Fitting is exactly the word I’d use. I love it. Let’s do it.” You say, genuinely surprised he could even come up with something so quickly.
“Alright, I’m just gonna need you to take those shorts and fishnets off, angel. You can leave your underwear on, I’ll just keep them out of the way with some paper towels. Stay standing after so I can put the stencil on, ‘kay?” He asks. You know it’s what he needs you to do in order to do the tattoo, but your face heats up at the thought of being half naked with him. He closes the door to his room and turns away to prepare the stencil, leaving you to do as asked.
Slowly and tentatively, you take off your shoes and then undo your shorts, pulling them down and stepping out of them carefully. Next is your fishnets, you’re careful not to rip them when you take them off and lay them on top of your shorts. You’re thankful you wore a thong tonight, knowing it won’t get in the way of the tattooing.
He turns around, eyeing you as though just trying to see where he needs to put the stencil, but you can see something else in his eye. Maybe he pities you? You sure fucking hope not.
“Alright, ‘m gonna place the stencil and then I’ll need you to just stand for a bit while it dries.” He says and you nod. He’s methodical in stepping forward, disinfecting, shaving the area, and then placing the stencil on you, being sure to perfect the alignment so the sword covers Ryōmen’s name entirely. His long fingers press down for just a second before he removes the paper and steps back to see the alignment from afar. “Fuckin’ perfect.” He hisses under his breath, but you hear. You tell yourself he’s just proud of his work and try not to acknowledge the pooling between your thighs. “How’s it look, angel? Don’t be afraid to let me know if you want anything changed.” He tells you.
You move to step in front of the mirror, turning to your side so you can see your ass better. It plumps up as you flex and you nod at the placement before looking up to see him with his eyes shut and his head up at the ceiling. “Y’know, you really don’t have to do this if you’re tired, I can make an appointment.” You say, feeling bad.
“Trust me, I’m very much awake. Made me question if I was dreaming when you walked in, angel, but I’m awake.” He says, your eyes going wide and your mouth falling open, but just as casually as he said that, he moves on. “Alright, ‘m gonna have you lay on your side facing away from me. Just poke your,” he grunts “poke your ass out toward me and I’ll get started.”
You do as told, your body hot and exposed and your mind reeling from how casually he’d just said that. Surely it must be for tips, you can’t imagine he’d want you. Not just because he’s built like a God, but he must be taken, right? There’s no way on Earth someone like him could be single.
“Ready?” He asks and you nod, breaking from your thoughts. With your confirmation, he smirks and leans forward, beginning to tattoo you. Him being so close to your ass makes you want to tense up, but you steel yourself and rip your eyes away from him so you can attempt to stop the wetness pooling between your folds like a bitch in heat.
“So. ‘M guessing this was recent, hm? The whole cheating thing. Not trying to pry, just curious. We don’t have to talk about it.” He says as he focuses on the tattoo, dipping the needle into the black ink he’d set up.
“Mhm. Couple of hours ago. Ran a train on a sorority girl as some fucking frat initiation. Piece of shit.” You spit, hearing him scoff and looking to see him shake his head.
“Ouch. Yeah, he’s a fucking idiot, to say the least.” He responds and you bite your lower lip, blushing and looking forward again, at the mirror.
“I’m the idiot. I moved from Washington all the way here with him so we could go to the same college and I had no idea he was capable of this. Now I’m away from family and friends and just… stuck here.” You roll your eyes, huffing.
“We can be friends. I mean, it’s contingent on you coming around more often, though. Think you can do that, angel?” He says, an undertone you can’t quite discern in his voice that makes your mouth go dry.
“Y-yeah. I mean, I plan to get more tattoos. If you do a good job, I mean.” You respond, nearly choking on your words because of that damned pet name he keeps calling you.
“Mmm, trust me, I’ll do you right.” He says and this time the undertone in his voice is so painfully clear that you feel yourself clenching around nothing, your eyes fluttering closed for just a moment. You decide not to respond, scared your voice will come out shakier than intended.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
The next few hours go by in the same fashion. Small talk with him lacing in subtle compliments or flirtations. That goddamned pet name falling from his perfect lips. By the end, you were sure he’d feel the way your body was pulsing with need for him, all thoughts of Ryōmen out the fucking window.
“All done, angel. Tell me how you feel about it. If it’s good, and it looks damn good, I’ll put on some second skin and cash you out.” He says, standing up from his chair and stretching. Your eyes don’t miss his v line peeking out from his lifted shirt and you have to tear them away to instead look at your tattoo.
“Fuck, it’s perfect. God, yeah, I love it! Lemme just take a picture so I can post it and piss this asshole off before you wrap it.” You say and he chuckles.
“Mind if I take a few, too?” He asks.
Before you even realize what you’re saying, you respond, “What? For your spank bank?” By the end of the question, your eyes go wide and you mentally curse yourself out, about to apologize when he gives you a genuine laugh.
“No, angel, I won’t need a picture to remember an ass like that.” He quips back and you almost lose your breath. Without missing a beat, he picks up his phone and motions for you to take your picture before he takes his.
Once you do, you open your Lightroom app as he moves to take his pictures. It opens to a nude you’d put a filter on and you suck in a sharp breath, trying to exit quickly before he notices to no avail. He whistles and sucks his teeth and you immediately start to explain. “Sorry, I just like aesthe—“ He cuts you off.
“He’s definitely missing a few brain cells. You’re as good as it fuckin’ gets, angel.” He says, making your heart clench and stomach knot. “Y’know…” He leans forward. “There’s another way you can make him upset. I’m sure that picture’ll do the job, but don’t you wanna go above and beyond? I can help with that.” He says. You don’t miss his hand coming down to rest on the apple of your ass, making your core throb.
“I— how?” You ask, surprised your voice made it’s way out at all with how dry your mouth and throat are.
“Atta girl. First, you can let me bury my face between those pretty thighs of yours so you can take a picture, if you can even hold your phone steady, that is. Then, if you can think straight enough to still be thinking about him, I’ll make sure you can only think about how good I feel inside you. Maybe I’ll even record so you can send that, too. How’s that sound, angel?” He asks, thumb gently brushing the skin of your ass, voice smooth and sultry. You’re sure that with his voice alone, he could run a cult of people who’d do his bidding with no questions asked. And you’d be in it.
You nod at his suggestion, biting your lower lip and looking up at him through your lashes. He chuckles and leans forward, face inches from yours. “I don’t speak nod, pretty girl. Y’r gonna have to tell me out loud.” He says, his hand moving from your ass to grip your chin firmly enough to keep you looking up at him.
God, that statement alone makes your stomach do flips and, yet again, you’re breathless. “Yes, please yes.” You manage to get out, squeezing your thighs to try to alleviate the pressure between them.
“Good girl, using your manners.” He purrs before his lips mash against yours, earning a choked moan from you instantly. He tastes of cigarettes and mint, a flavor you find yourself more addicted to by the second. You feel his tongue flick against yours for just a moment before he pulls away and chuckles. “Been wanting to do that since you walked in. Been wanting to taste you, more, though.” He says, so you move to lay on your back, but he stops you. “Mm mm, don’t fuck my work up. All fours, angel. All fours.” He says, the command emphasized by him patting his hand on your thigh twice.
Doing as told, you rest your stomach against the cold leather and prop your ass up for him, your hands holding onto either sides of the chair. Your embarrassment at the knowledge that your thong is most definitely soaked is washed away when you turn your head to look back at Geto, seeing a prominent bulge straining against his jeans.
His large, ring-adorned fingers splay across your ass cheeks as he squeezes them, grunting. “Such a pretty ass.” He hisses, moving one hand to thumb at where he knows your hole is beneath your thong, pressing in just slightly to tease you, making you mewl out. “Shh, sweetheart. Unless y’want everyone outside to hear you, hmm?” He warns and you pull your bottom lip between your teeth to shut yourself up.
His fingers curl around the waistband of your thongs and he slowly peels them from your sopping wet pussy, leaving them down by your knees. The cold air hits your core and your eyelids flutter closed as you try to stop yourself from shuddering. “So fuckin’ pretty. You this wet already, angel? All for me?” He asks, chuckling as he slips a finger between your folds, teasing you as he soaks his it in your syrupy slick.
“Mmph, yes… fuck…” You moan out, feeling the pad of his finger press against your clit, rubbing in small teasing circles. Your eyes open and you look back to see him palming himself over his jeans. Your brows knit together in a needy frown and you pout. “Suguru, please!” You whine, needing more from him.
“Please what, angel? Please taste you? Please fuck you? Please finger you? Gotta tell me what y’want.” He murmurs and the look on his face tells you he loves this. Loves playing with you like a toy. To your surprise, you love it, too. He smirks at you and circles your achingly empty hole when you take too long to answer. “Hmm?” He hums.
You try to push back on his fingers, hungry for more, but he withdraws them, instead sucking your slick from his fingers, his eyes rolling back into his head at the taste. “Oh fuck, w-want all of tha— hnngh!” You cry out when he plunges a thick, ringed finger into your waiting hole. He shushes you and clicks his tongue, reminding you to keep your voice down. Nodding in response, you press back into his finger.
“Greedy girl. You’re gonna regret that later.” He says, beginning to pump his finger in and out of your cunt as he bends over and kisses all over one of your ass cheeks, then moves to get on his knees behind you. You can feel his breath on your slick folds and you want desperately to feel his tongue, your clit throbbing in need of attention. As though he reads your mind, he presses one quick kiss to it, grunting as your slick coats his lips. One swipe of his pierced tongue through your folds is all he needs to know he wants more. Much more.
You’re about to beg for it, too, but you feel his finger slip from your hole, being replaced by his long tongue, the muscle curving up and down and then swirling as if he’s trying to consume all of the slick you have to offer. Your fingers tighten on the chair, the leather squeaking in response. “Oh my God, S-Suguru!” You moan out, body shuddering in pleasure.
He pulls his tongue out to spit messily on your pussy, moving to finger you again, but this time adding two fingers. “M’gonna need to get you ready for me, ‘kay pretty girl?” He murmurs against your clit, earning a drawn out moan from you. You feel him remove his fingers and he replaces his lips with a harsh smack to your pussy that feels like pure electric pleasure. “Use your words.” He orders.
“Y-Yes! Fuck, yes…” You speak up immediately, eyes rolling back when he plunges his fingers back into you. You hear him hum in approval before his lips surround your clit again, sucking it into his mouth and caressing it with his tongue. He eats you out like a man starved and the sight combined with the pleasure makes your core tighten. His moans are muffled by you pushing back against his tongue. “S-Suguru, m’gonna—“
“Mm mm, baby, take that picture first. Gotta stay on task.” He tells you after breaking away from your clit to press sloppy open mouthed kisses on your thighs. You cry out a whine while your trembling fingers find your phone, lifting it to point it toward his mirror. You make sure to catch his face buried in your cunt when you snap the picture, making him grunt at the sound of the camera shutter. “That’s it, pretty, c’mon, cum… you can do that for me, right?” He coos and you feel him quicken his fingers inside you, the noises coming from your pussy absolutely fucking dirty as he does. His tongue starts flicking against your clit and the knot in your stomach snaps, your orgasm being clawed from you by this greedy man who pulls his fingers from your twitching hole to bury his tongue in it, lapping up your release.
You’re left panting when he finishes, eyes closed to stop the room from spinning around you. You feel his hands rub from the bottoms of your thighs up to your ass and he groans. “Fuck it, fuck the tattoo, need to see that pretty face while I’m inside you.” He grunts, flipping you around roughly and pulling your thongs off the rest of the way, tossing them to the side, making you yelp.
You open your eyes to watch as his deft fingers unbutton and unzip his pants, his other hand finding your mouth, pushing between your lips. “Taste.” He tells you and you suck the slick off his fingers happily as he pulls his cock out, your eyes widening at the sight. Suguru’s long and thick. Your expression is obvious to him and he winks, pulling his fingers from your lipstick ruined lips to grab you by the chin. “You can take it, right? You’re a big girl.” He taunts you by running his length between your folds, his tip nudging your clit deliciously.
“F-Fuck I… I can take it.” You say, lying, but knowing he’ll make you take it. Thanks to your orgasm, his tip is coated in your slick and he presses it against your entrance, making you wince. His free hand grabs one of yours and he intertwines his fingers with your smaller ones, pinning your hand above your head while he kisses you hungrily, tasting of you. At the same time, his tip slowly pushes past the first ring of muscles inside of you, a shaky moan coming from your lips and flowing into his mouth.
He grunts as he invades your cunt inch by torturously thick inch until he bottoms out, your legs shaking in response. He moves to kiss your neck before bringing his lips to your ear. “That’s my fucking girl, so goddamn tight. Gonna fuck you so good angel, be good f’me, okay?” He whispers in your ear before he sucks on your earlobe, withdrawing his cock to the tip before his hips snap forward in one sharp movement, making your mouth fall open in a silent cry.
He sets an unforgiving pace, his free hand holding one of your thighs up so he gets in at a better angle, his tip bullying your sweet spot with each thrust. Good was a fucking understatement, he was making you see stars. “Please don’t stop, ohmyfuckinggodddd!” You moan out, your bodies connecting violently, plap, plap, plaps echoing through his room.
His movements are so hungry, like he’ll never get enough of you as he moans at the feeling of your cunt trying to suck his soul from him. You feel him pull his fingers from yours and he stands straight, not letting up on his thrusts. You notice your phone now in his hand and the video capture sound plays, your face reddening. You can’t stop the way your pussy flutters knowing he’s recording now and he doesn’t miss it. “Such a slutty fuckin’ pussy, fuck! You like being on camera, don’t you, angel?” He asks, and you hide your face, nodding. That earns you one harsh thrust before he stills. “Mm mm, what’d I say about nodding. Thought y’were gonna be a good girl f’me?” He asks, making you whimper.
“Fuck, y-yes I like being on camera! Please keep going, please don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop!” You beg, snaking a hand down to try and relieve the feeling between your legs by rubbing your clit, but he smacks your hand away with the one that was holding your thigh before resuming his punishing pace.
“There you go, pretty, there you fuckin’ go. God, that ex is a fuckin’ lunatic, you’re SO. FUCKIN’. TIGHT.” He praises you, the last three words being delivered with snaps of his hips that push his cock so impossibly deep inside you that you were sure he’d rupture an organ. “Loo— ngh look, pretty girl. Look at me bulging you out like this.” He instructs, his hand moving to point at the spot below your navel that juts out every time his length is fully sheathed inside you.
You look down to see and your head immediately falls back at the sight, eyes rolling back, back arching off the seat. He rewards you by moving his hand back down to your clit, using the whole of his fingers to play with it in harsh motions back and forth and back and forth. “Mmm’fuck! Sugu, gonna cum, gonna c-cum!” You warn him, no longer giving a flying fuck if anyone hears you, you were too fucked out to think about it at all.
“Right behind you, angel. Where d’you want it, hmm?” He asks, earning a look of confusion on your dazed, fucked out face. “My cum. Where. Do. You. Want it?” He asks, accentuating the words with thrusts.
“H-hah! In-Inside! Please fucking cum in me, I’m cumming!” You moan, arms flying up to grip the head of the seat as your cunt clamps down onto his cock, loud squelches sounding out as you squirt all over him, making him groan and throw your phone on his counter, not bothering to end the video.
“Fuckin’ hell, m’gonna fill you up so good, shit!” He hisses, leaning forward and propping himself up on body fists, rolling his hips into you sloppily as his orgasm hits him and he shoots cum spurt after spurt into your greedy pussy that continues to spasm and milk him for everything he’s got. You notice strands of his hair have come free of his half bun and they tickle your face as he hovers above you, sweat beading on his forehead. “Fuuuck…” He groans, pulling out after a while of being buried inside you. It leaves you feeling painfully empty.
He watches as his cum starts to spill from your swollen cunt with a smirk, moving to finger it back inside of you, making you whine. He chuckles and grabs your thongs, bringing your legs back together so he can slide them back on you, patting your pussy when he’s done. “So you have something to remember me by on your way home. Actually… you trust me?” He asks and you’re too far into your mind to say anything but yes.
Before you know it, you hear him wash his hands and put on gloves before his tattoo gun buzzes to life. “M’gonna mark you so you don’t forget how deep I get. That okay, angel?” He asks and you almost nod until you remember his earlier commands.
“Mhm…” You hum out, earning a smile from him as he bends forward between your spread legs, tattooing a thick line under your navel with the initials ‘G.S.’ Next to it. You shake your head, still too blissed out to even realize that you traded your ex boyfriend’s name for a stranger’s initials. He wipes it clean and puts second skin on it, too, before he stands straight.
“Think you can stand well enough to get dressed?” He asks and you scoff, rolling your eyes. You stand from the chair, wobbly and definitely sore, but capable enough to put your fishnets, shorts, and Doc Martens back on. He marvels at you while you do so. Once you’re done, he grabs your phone and ends the video, going to your contacts and adding his number. He hands you your phone back with a grin.
You take it and follow him when he opens his studio door, suddenly feeling all of the eyes in the shop on you. You recognize a face there, now. Utahime’s standing, mouth agape, with Shoko and some white-haired drunk guy who’s also staring at you two with his piercing blue eyes. You find yourself hiding a bit more behind Geto as you walk to the cash register.
“Ring her up for seventy-five percent off. She already paid for the rest.” He tells Shoko as he winks at you. With that, he starts to walk away, but not before he turns to you one last time. “Remember, angel. We’re friends, now.” He smirks before heading back into his room, leaving you to pay.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
The next morning, you wake up hungover. You’re wearing your favorite Kuromi pajamas— a crop top and booty shorts. You walk into the bathroom, scrolling on your phone and starting to brush your teeth when you see a text to Ryōmen with three attachments. A picture of Geto eating you out, the video of him fucking you, and lastly… the new tattoo. You look at yourself in the mirror to see the line with his initials and your memory becomes clearer as you look at yourself in disbelief. “What… the fuck?”
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mamisripley · 3 days
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𝖎'𝖒 𝖏𝖚𝖘𝖙 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖕 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓.
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summary — your new to the whole 'sex' thing and when your cousin's hen party strolls into a sex store, life gets a whole new meaning - storeclerk!rhea au. pt.1
warning(s) — none, lowercase intended!
wc - 5.4k
you didn't know how you ended up here, but you hated it already. you'd never been the party girl type and the most alcohol you'd had was a small sip of beer at your dad's birthday party. and that was only to make the whole thing more bearable. and now here you were in the middle of a bar crawl in Perth with your cousin ariana and four of her friends from high school. you grew up in the same town as everyone else, but you were homeschooled and kept far too busy with daily activities to have much of a social life.
"come on, keep up!" harper turned back to face you, giggling, nearly stumbling over a crack in the sidewalk. harper was ariana's maid of honor and this whole bachelorette bar crawl thing was her idea. it didn't seem like ariana's scene either, but even the redhead was having more fun than you were.
you just held your purse tighter against your side as you stepped carefully around a subway grate in your five inch heels, trying to keep up with the small group of inebriated women.
"oh my god." you picked your head up at the sound of tara's chuckling voice, nearly bumping into her as they all came to a stop. you really needed to stop looking at your feet when you walked. but you felt so uncomfortable in the tight mini dress, surrounded by cat-calling men around the busy sidewalk.
"no," ariana giggles, blushing as she shook her head, her ponytail swinging slightly behind her head. "guys, come on-"
"excuse me, i'm your maid of honor, i choose what we do." harper stated firmly, starting to tug on her arm towards the nearby door.
Aphrodisia
Adult Toys, Videos, Novelties, and More!
"come on, we'll just look around and then head to the next bar." leona ushed ariana towards the door with the help of harper, tara and naomi. and you had no choice but to follow, or else you'd be left alone with the creeps.
entering the store, the giggling from the group of tipsy twenty-three year olds overpowered the soft rock that came from the speakers. the store was much bigger than it looked on the outside. a winding staircase near the entrance leading to the second floor. the lighting was dim and it smelt like burning incense, which actually put your mind at ease for the briefest moment.
"welcome to aphrodisia," a bored female voice came from a few feet away. you turned your head to see a girl sitting at the small, glass checkout counter, aimlessly scrolling on her phone. you bit the inside of your cheek slightly as you let your eyes roam over her face, grateful she hadn't looked up since you came in. she was wearing an oversized dark grey tee with what looked to be a band's name across the front. she had a few tattoos on her arms, and a few peeking through the gaps on her black ripped jeans. maybe it was the poor lighting but you could swear her dark hair had been dyed blue underneath.
"hello? is anyone home?" harper joked, tapping against your forehead as she appeared in front of you. "come on, we're going to look around."
"right." you nodded, turning away from the dark haired beauty at the counter, "sorry." you ignored the look harper gave you, grateful for the dim lighting that hid the blush that rose to your cheeks. god forbid she caught you drooling over the counter girl. but you shook it off, tucking your hair behind your ear, following the rest of the girls around the store.
so far, it was nothing but novelty toys and gag gifts such as penis-shaped lollipops and party hats for bachelorette parties.
"please don't buy them and wear them around," you cringed at the though, but turned your lips up slightly as the rest of the girls giggled over everything. you were not wearing a penis hat. not in public. you had no interest in the male anatomy and definitely did not want to wear it on your head.
glancing around, embarrassed, you watched as a man walked nonchalantly through the room towards the back, going through a beaded curtain into the next room. you didn't even want to know what was back there. though, you assumed it was the video section, which made your skin crawl. your only time seeing porn was a complete accident. your sophomore year of college, you had been doing research for an assignment on your laptop when suddenly your screen was covered in naked and scantily clad women, touching themselves or each other. you remembered snapping your laptop shut faster than the speed of light. and as much as it made you blush with juvenile curiosity, you'd made sure to install the highest rated pop-up blocker you could find.
"let's see what's upstairs," naomi lead them to the staircase after they'd looked around and laughed at every blow-up doll and penis-shaped toy in sight. apparently, they were skipping over the lingerie section across the room, which you were fine with. your choice in undergarments weren't completely modest, but you didn't exactly have a need for the sheer nighties and crotch-less panties you were sure this store had to offer.
heels clicked on hardwood floors as the six of you walked up the stairs. you kept your arms crossed tightly against your chest as everyone else looked around, giggling as they picked up some of the dildos and vibrators that were on display, playing with them and laughing like a bunch of twelve year old boys looking at a Playboy for the first time. you just glanced around, your blush increasing as your eyes took in everything around you. the store seemed to be divided into different departments like some kind of kinky walmart. the room they were currently in had a whole wall of toys of different shapes, colors, and sizes, no two were the same, but they all served the same purpose.
you wandered away from the girls, biting your lip as you glanced at the selection in front of you. you were no stranger to self-pleasure, but you weren't exactly a connoisseur either. on the rare occasion that you did decide to explore yourself and give yourself some much needed release, all you knew were your own hands. which worked fine for you, but the array of toys in front of you had you curious about what was so special about them. this little black one didn't look too scary...
"need any help?" a male voice made you jump with a slight yelp, retracting you arm that had been reaching for the small black bullet vibrator.
"no. thank you. just browsing," you nervously tucked your hair behind your ear and straightened out the wrinkles in your dress, not making eye contact with the man who would probably be about your height if you weren't wearing these heels.
"okay. well, my name is dominik. i'm working the floor, so just holler if you have any questions," he smiled politely.
"dominik?" you quirked an eyebrow, admittedly looking a little judgmental.
"it's spanish," he waved a hand with a shrug before walking off.
that was definitely a sign that this just wasn't for you. with a deep, cleansing breath, you walked across the room to where the others were playing with a fluffy pair of handcuffs. you just wanted to leave. this place made your skin crawl. there was a fucking bed in the corner with different restraints wrapped around the four corner posts. apparently for people wanting to test them out before buying them. a chill ran down your spine as you tightened your arms across your chest. you felt like such a prude, blushing at every little thing you saw while the girls were completely comfortable making jokes about it. you already knew that you were the only virgin in the group. and the only lesbian, since all the others seemed to think this was the perfect time to discuss and compare their boyfriends' sexual stamina.
"ariana. i'm gonna go see if they have a bathroom downstairs," you interrupted the fit of girlish giggles.
"okay, we should be right down," the blushing blonde smiled before you turned and walked back down the stairs. you were tempted to grab the black toy you'd been eyeing and subtly buy it quickly and hiding it in your purse. but then you would have to face the girl at the counter. and there was no way you were going to put yourself through that embarrassment.
holding onto the railing on your way back down, your heart leapt in your chest when you spotted the dark-haired girl near the bottom of the stairs, fixing a crooked display of body jewelry with the same bored expression on her face.
"finding everything all right?" the girl looked up at you with what you could only assume was her customer service face. but she had an enchanting smile nevertheless.
"yeah, just waiting on my cousin and her friends," you ducked your head a bit shyly as you reached the bottom step, subtly taking in how good this girl's ass looked in her baggy black jeans.
stop it.
"bride squad?" she chuckled.
"how'd you guess?"
"years of experience. drunken bridesmaids in the middle of their bar crawl are basically the target audience here. only thing i see more than that is middle-aged dads who run straight back to the video section," she crossed her arms over her chest with a shrug.
you just breathed a light laugh as the pink tint refused to leave your face as you ran your hand nervously up and down your arm. "that must get annoying. especially if they're all like my cousin and her friends."
"well, if your cousin and her friends are anything like a majority of the bachelorette parties that come through here, you're leaving here with something dick shaped," the considerably taller woman quirked an eyebrow, "for your sake, i just hope it's not the hats."
you laughed through an obvious cringe, shaking your head, "god, i hope not." you bit the inside of your cheek, noticing deep blue eyes looking you up and down before your body suddenly went numb. but like a rude awakening, the sound of your loud crew coming down the stairs behind you made you stiffen up and walk away from the dark-haired goddess. with how invasive and nosy harper was when she was tipsy, you knew if you had gotten caught chatting with the employee, the maid of honor would be giving you hell for it.
no one knew for sure that you liked girls, though you were sure they all had their suspicions. you always chalked your lack of relationship experience up to the fact that you wanted to focus on school. which was partially true. being a psychology major, you spent most of your time studying. but being a closeted lesbian made dating much more difficult, and you weren't exactly the type to put yourself out there.
"we're going to pick out lollipops, come pick out a flavor or i'm choosing for you," harper grabbed you by the elbow to lead you to the array of penis shaped lollipops. you turned back to the girl with the dark hair, smiling a little at the wink and shrug you received.
after what should have been a much shorter decision, the girls all brought their ridiculously shaped candies to check-out counter. it took everything you had not to stare at the nameless woman in black. if only she were wearing a nametag or something. but maybe it was better this way. you weren't from this area and they were only here for the weekend. names would lead to attachment.
"have a good night, be safe out there," she bagged up their purchases and handed the bag to harper.
"thanks, uh..."
"rhea," she smiled politely at the raven-haired bridesmaid, sending a subtle glance in your direction.
harper grinned with a nod before gesturing to herself. "rhea, i'm harper. this is tara, naomi, and leona. that's ariana, she's getting married next week," she slurred a bit and pointed to each of the girls before finally landing on you off to the side, "and that's harper's cousin."
"nice to meet you," she chuckled at the talkative girl before smiling in the blonde's direction, "and congrats, harper."
harper thanked her politely before the girls started making a beeline for the door, filing out one by one. you, the last one out, glanced over your shoulder and lifted your hand for a slight wave. "bye, rhea," your voice was just barely above a whisper, but the girl at the counter heard you loud and clear, mirroring her wave with more confidence.
"bye, darlin'."
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you rarely ventured to perth. you went to school in albany, but it was rare that you traveled outside that area. but for the past few days since ariana's bachelorette party, it was like the mysterious downtown area had been calling your name in rhea's raspy voice. it was stuck in your head along with everything else about her. her smile, her laugh, her bright eyes and the way they made you feel when they traveled along your body. she even invaded your dreams. and you took advantage of the time your roommate was out to make yourself writhe under the covers with your newest romance novel in your free hand and rhea in your thoughts. it was getting to a point where you couldn't even focus in class.
stepping out of the subway train car, you held your purse tightly to your side as you made your way to the exit, climbing the stairs that lead to the sidewalk, following the route they had taken the other night to get to the strip of buildings and lower level stores, bars, and restaurants. it's a good thing you decided not to drink with everyone else that night, otherwise they probably would have never made it back to the plaza.
it looked different in the daylight, but it made it much easier to find your way around. and before you knew it, you were standing in front of aphrodisia. adjusting the beanie on your head, you took off your sunglasses as you entered, glancing nervously at the counter.
"welcome to aphrodisia," the dominik guy from that night greeted you cheerfully.
"thank you," you muttered, heading straight upstairs. at least you had plans to buy something so this wasn't a total stalking mission. but if rhea wasn't at the counter, you were starting to worry that she wasn't even working today. or at least right now.
biting your pink bottom lip, you headed for the wall of vibrators, looking for that little black one again while you subtly glanced around for the dark haired girl that had been running through your mind for days. sighing, you picked up the small box that held the bullet vibe inside, reading over the description. it didn't look like it would do much, but the box bragged about multiple speeds and vibration patterns, making you blush as you read over each one.
"finding everything all right?" you gasped and flinched as a voice sounded from behind you, making you drop the box. people really needed to stop sneaking up on you in this place.
picking up the box, you turned around almost furiously, but her anger quickly diminished when you saw familiar blue eyes looking back at you with a smirk that made you want to melt into a puddle on the floor.
"sorry, didn't mean to scare you. long time, no see," rhea chuckled as you held a hand to your pounding heart, the adrenaline masking your embarrassment. for now, at least. "for real, though, are you finding everything okay?"
"yeah, i just came for, um…" there was the embarrassment. "this," you held up the box you had dropped quickly.
"can i be honest with you?" rhea leaned in to ask quietly, making you mirror her actions unconsciously.
"yeah…?"
"that's a cheap piece of plastic, it'll probably die after a few uses. especially if you use it on a high setting or one of the patterns. not to mention it's loud as hell," she stated simply, walking around you to glance around the shelves. she scanned them determined until she found what she was looking for, her tongue poking out slightly as she furrowed her eyebrows in concentration. you couldn't help but notice the glimmer that reflected off her piercing under the dim lighting. "this," she picked up a small blue one that looked just about the same, "it's a little more pricey, but does all the same stuff. it's quiet, it's plastic with a rubber coat so it's softer and more comfortable. plus it's waterproof, unlike the one you picked out."
"oh." your mouth hung open a bit.
"were you looking for something more small and compact specifically or…? what made you pick that one?"
"it was black," you blushed, giving her an honest answer, "it just seemed more…simple than everything else."
"have you ever bought a vibrator before? for yourself?"
you looked around, biting your lip before shaking your head, blushing furiously.
"hey, it's not a big deal. this is a judgment free space," rhea rested a hand on your shoulder with a reassuring smile, "but i get that it can be tricky and fucking embarrassing picking something out for the first time, so i'm here to help. i don't work on commission or anything, so everything i suggest to you is for your own benefit, not mine. okay?"
you searched her eyes for signs of insincerity, though you didn't know why this girl would have any reason to be insincere with you. you were still nervous, but you nodded, watching as rhea's pink lips curled up into a bigger smile, showing off her pearly white teeth. "so first things first, are you on a budget?"
"not really," you murmured, "i'm not looking to spend hundreds of dollars, but i don't want to get anything too cheap."
rhea nodded and clasped her hands together. "well, like with anything, vibrators go through regular wear and tear if they're not cleaned properly or if they're used frequently. some hold up better than others, but obviously those ones are gonna be more expensive." you nodded, following her around. "so, if you're comfortable telling me how often you masturbate, that'll point us in the right direction of what price range we'd be looking in. if not, we can still figure something out."
you nearly choked on your own tongue as your eyes widened, jaw slacked as you tried to find the words. you didn't really even have an answer to that question. it wasn't like you had a set schedule. but you'll admit that it had become more frequent in the past few days. all thanks to the girl who was standing so patiently in front of you, waiting on an answer.
"i-i guess normally it's once every week or two," you stammered shyly, averting your eyes. you didn't know what she expected, but seeing rhea just nod and glance back at the boxes on the shelves gave you a sense of relief.
"okay. so you wouldn't be looking for something to use too frequently. so you said you were drawn to that first one because it was black?"
"i-it's my favorite color," you laughed nervously.
"okay, good to know," rhea laughed, "so it wasn't the size or anything that you were specifically going for?"
"i guess not…i saw it the night i was here with my friends, i figured the smaller the better so i could hide it from them until i got back home."
"so another personal question, but when you masturbate, what do you like?"
"what do you mean?" you swallowed thickly, feeling your palms start to sweat.
"i mean, do you prefer clitoral stimulation, penetration, anal play, or a mix of anything?"
you were sure that your face was as red as a tomato. But you cleared your throat and straightened up, trying not to look so nervous. "i guess just…c-clitoral. penetration only sometimes…"
"when you're in the mood for it?" rhea asked, watching you nod, "well, we have anything that can suit any need, honestly. but if you mainly focus on clitoral stimulation, but enjoy penetration sometimes, i recommend one of these." She lead you to a shelf of straight rod vibrators, some rubber, some silicone, some a mix of the two. She reached for one of the ones on display, it was soft blue plastic with a thin rubber coating, smooth to the touch and not scary looking at all. "this is a good one. and it comes in black," she handed it to you with a smile, "you can turn it on if you want. it has a few speeds."
you nodded and bit your lip, pressing the button towards the bottom and flinching when the toy came to life, vibrating gently in your hand. it was quiet, which would come in handy.
"hold it against the tip of your nose," rhea instructed.
"what?"
"i know it sounds weird, but trust me. and don't worry, it's clean," the taller girl chuckled, watching as you did as she said, holding the vibrator to the tip of your nose. "how's that feel?"
"weird. is this some kind of joke?"
"surprisingly no. actually the tip of your nose is just as sensitive as your clit, but without the extra nerves. so if a certain vibration speed feels too strong or intense on the tip of your nose, it's gonna be too much for your genitals," she explained, "it's just a little trick to keep in mind."
"oh."
"so is it too strong?"
"no, it's okay," you pressed the button again, feeling like an idiot holding a vibrator up to your face. but at least you were learning without judgment.
"cool. and the good thing about those is you can use it on your clit if that's all you're looking for, but you can also use it for penetration if you decide that's what you wanna do at any given time."
you took the toy off your nose and nodded, biting the inside of your cheek. how could this girl be so carefree in how she spoke about sexual stuff? you found yourself blushing if you even talked about kissing.
"i like girls, so i-is it normal for me to like…um…"
"what? penetration?" rhea quirked an eyebrow at you, "totally normal. you don't have to be attracted to guys to enjoy penetration. the attraction is in your mind. your body just wants the pleasure. just like guys can enjoy anal penetration without being gay. this is why toys were made."
you nodded, remaining quiet. you could feel your body heating up, but you remained as neutral as possible. rhea didn't need to know that your heart was beating a mile a minute in your chest.
"did you wanna look around some more or do you think we have a winner?" the dark-haired girl cocked her head to the side curiously.
"i think i'll stick with this one," you whispered involuntarily. your voice was slowly disappearing and you just hoped your roommate wasn't in when you got back to your dorm.
"do you want the black one?" rhea smirked, putting the blue one back on display, already reaching for the redblack one on the shelf and handing it to you. you thanked her quietly as she lead you back downstairs. "i can check you out, i've gotta relieve dom for his break anyways."
you watched rhea's hips sway as she made her way behind the counter, shooing the pale-skinned man away for his break before typing into the computer and scanning the box.
"did you wanna sign up for a loyalty account? totally free and you'll already earn a ten dollar credit for next time you come in for purchasing something over fifty bucks," she looked up you, a small smirk painting her lips at you fidgeting slightly.
"sure," you nodded. you weren't sure how often you would be back in, but as of right now you weren't thinking clearly at all. As much as you were enjoying rhea's company, you wanted to get home.
"just fill out this info, i'll put it into the system," rhea traded you a piece of paper for your credit card, doing the transaction while you filled out the information slip.
signing the receipt after finishing filling out the paperwork, you took the bag from the taller girl and bit your lip gently. "thanks for your help, rhea."
"anytime, angel. you should get an email about your account in about an hour," she smiled, eyes shining.
you smiled shyly, ducking your head briefly before showing yourself out.
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you sat in class the next day, admittedly feeling much better than you had been in the past few days. your mind was clear and you were able to focus, though the image of rhea still popped up in your head. you didn't know how that woman knew so much, or how she was able to talk about it with a straight face, but you certainly appreciated it. you'd never met anyone like her before. the only person you'd really talked to about sex was ariana. but the blonde, like yourself, would just blush and try to change the subject. god forbid the topic ever came up around harper or tara, they spoke so explicitly and made such a big deal out of it.
but with rhea, while it was still embarrassing for you, she made it seem so normal and made you feel like there was nothing to be embarrassed about. then again, it was her job to help people find what they're looking for. she probably just talked about it so much that it was boring to her now. but you couldn't help but wonder what else she knew…
"miss?"
"hm?" you flinched, picking your head up. apparently you'd been unconsciously doodling again.
"your presentation?" your professor quirked an eyebrow at you.
"oh, right," you shook your head quickly to wake yourself up a bit, retrieving your notes and making your way to the front of the class.
a few hours later, you were sitting towards the back of the lecture hall, trying to stay awake. you loved majoring in psychology, but this professor had such a boring, monotone voice. you tried to keep your phone in your purse most of the time, wanting to focus on the information that you were learning, but if you had to listen to this man speak another sentence in his low, boring tone, you were going to lose it.
your brows knit together in confusion at the group of missed texts from an unknown number, glancing around before unlocking your phone.
rhea: hey this is rhea from aphrodisia. rhea: i know this is really invasive and creepy of me, but i just think you're really cute and i was gonna see if you wanted to go out for drinks or something. rhea: you can totally ignore this if you want or just tell me to delete your number and i will
you could feel your heart pounding rapidly in your chest and you honestly wondered if anyone else could hear it. it was like a percussion band in your ears as you read over the texts over and over again, your palms starting to sweat as you typed out your reply.
hi. how did you get my number…?
you watched with high anticipation as a little grey bubble appeared on the bottom left of the screen, adjusting yourself in your seat so you could sit up straight.
rhea: you put it on the loyalty account info slip yesterday.
oh right, you forgot you had signed up for that.
rhea: which i know it's super unprofessional for me to do that, but you said you liked girls, so i figured i'd shoot my shot. rhea: plus i didn't know if i'd ever see you again to ask for your number in person.
a blush came to your cheeks as you bit your lip. even through texts, this girl had the power to make your face flame up.
is this how you pick up everybody you take a liking to?
you bit your lip harder as you tried not to giggle to yourself at your own boldness.
well, i suppose i'm flattered. but…why me?
nervousness continued to rage like a fire in your chest as you watched the grey text bubble pop up again.
rhea: honestly, you just seem really sweet and easy to talk to. plus did you even SEE yourself in that black dress last weekend?
if it was possible for the flush on your cheeks to get more intense, it was happening right now. and you were sure that you would draw blood if you bit your lip any harder. a small smile painted itself on your lips as the grey text bubble popped up once more.
you're easy to talk to, too. but i know it's probably in your job description to make people feel comfortable while they're shopping.
rhea: i mean, yeah, no one's gonna feel comfortable buying dildos and handcuffs if we make a big deal out of it. but you learn after a while that we're all just human and pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of. but i didn't feel like i had to use my customer service voice with you.
rhea: to be honest, while we were talking, i forgot you were even a customer for a second.
you clutched the phone harder in your hands as you resisted the urge to tell her how pleased you were with the purchase you'd made yesterday. rhea didn't need to know that. you barely knew her, and regardless, they were having a personal conversation. you didn't need to treat this girl like a rate and review page on amazon.
rhea: you still there?
yeah, sorry i'm in class.
rhea: oh sorry! i'll leave you alone. but how bout that drink?
rhea: no pressure.
you closed your eyes in deep thought. what harm could one drink do? were you really willing to go out with the random dark-haired girl who sold you a vibrator just yesterday?
when are you free?
rhea: i work pretty much every night :( and i'm sure you have classes during the day if you're in one now.
rhea: do you have anything you would need to be up early for on saturday morning?
not to my knowledge.
rhea: the store closes at 11 friday night if you wanna meet here? we can just walk over to one of the bars nearby if you want.
you bit your lip as you thought it over. it was obvious that you liked this girl, and she seemed to like you back. but…what happened if things worked out between you? your mother would never approve. when would you be able to make time for each other with your schedules being so different already? what if rhea got bored of you or vice versa? what if rhea was just using you?
you're thinking way too deep into this. it's one night, one drink. you're gonna regret it if you don't.
rhea: your hesitation is worrying me, pretty girl.
just say yes, dumbass. who knows the next time you'll meet a pretty girl who not only likes you back, but makes the first move? you deserve this.
i'll be there. of course.
rhea: okay! i work the floor friday night, so if you get here before closing just come find me upstairs.
okay :) can't wait.
rhea: me either :) see you then, darlin'.
placing your phone down on your desk, you pursed your lips together in a tight line, trying to contain the smile that threatened to take over your entire face. thankfully your excitement overpowered your apprehension. you were sure that when the dust settled you would be more nervous than ever. but for now, you were floating on cloud nine.
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skullyragdoll · 17 hours
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Despair Time episode 16 spoilers pt.1
literally amazing but also so depressing
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I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ACEVI ANGSTT!!!!!!!!!!!!! pt.1
My heart can't handle all this angst (pun not intended) I thought this was a lot of angst but it gets even sadder and gayer laterrrrrrrrrrrr! TOXIC DOOMED YAOI!!!!!! ToT
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2. R.I.P MonoTV
THE ANIMATION LOOKS SOOO GOOD!!!!!!!!! also XF Future Tech??? like from the bonus episode? and other character?!
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3. AHHHHH
I was so scared when this happened even tho I knew she was gonna live. Also kinda random but I love how even though the whole group hates each other they still work together when one of them is about to die, trauma bonding lol
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4. SHITTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!
I LITERALLY SCREAMED!!!!!!!!!!!! LEVI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is simultaneously the best and worst day to be an Acevi shipper. this is a bad day to be gay
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5. The ultimatum I CANT!!!!!!!!!!
YOU CANT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE ToT!!!!!!!!!!! Only one of them can live!!!!!!!!!!! I can't!!!!!! ACE SAYING HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT LEVI BUT THEN BEING SO QUICK TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF FOR HIM I CANT THE ANGSTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ANGST WHEN LEVI WAKES UP!!!!!!!! (Also I just realized what does he mean 3rd!?!?! Is it himself? Is it his dead friend Taylor??? Does it have to do with the gloves?!?!)
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6. THEY CAN NEVER MAKE ME HATE U ACE!!!!!!!
ACE TELLING ARTURO THAT HE'S A GOOD ENOUGH SURGEON!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Even though arturo is still creepy I do like him more after this. I also understand why some people ship them now. Ace redemption tour!!!!!!!!
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7. NOOO ACE!!!!!!!!!!
FIRST MIN KNOW ACE I CAN'T ToT. THe parallels with both of them being scared to die!!!!!!!!!!!!! THis series is literally a masterpiece this is tooo freaking emotional!!!!!!!!!!!!
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8. The execution
ToT. I can't believe I lived a year in ignorant bliss of his inevitable death. Him and min both not wanting to die and both of them SACFRICING THEMSELVES TO SAVE SOMEONE ELSE I CANTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there goes my comfort character DEAD!!!!! ToT (also the art is really good)
this is pt.1 cuz the photo limit is 30.
It really is despair time ToT
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yeetmyboi · 2 days
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Don’t Feed a Stray if you Don’t Intend to Keep it.
Chapter 1 : A Wandering Stray
Nothing in this line of business was consistent nor guaranteed. Money, weapons, comrades— even your own survival. Fate and fortune were just two sides of the same coin that dictated each and every one of your missions.
That’s just the way it was. And you were fine with that.
Embraced it, even.
You’ve worked for a US Private Military Company, Hollow Inc, a up-and-coming PMC for a year now. Which has allowed you to keep those skills that were drilled into you sharp.
All that’s really left from your time in the military.
Being the US’s ‘legal’ version of a mercenary, meant that you were always on the move. Contract after contract. Getting paid large sums of money to act on whomever hired you. Some were with groups of other US military, others by yourself acting on part of the US. Miles and miles of places you’ve visited adding up like the ever growing number of scars and marks that littered your body.
In turn, you learned to be adaptable. With too many unknown variables involved in your line of work, it was best to assess information quickly and effectively, then act. ‘Think flexibly, cope with change easily, and always maintain a good attitude’ as a wise friend once told you.
Well, that last part you were still working on…
Your mission contract had just expired with your previous employer. Just another successful job under your belt. Already on your way back. To a small ‘luxury’ apartment in a bustling city, that was where you called home. Not even a few minutes of walking in and dropping your duffel bag, the burner phone you were given started to ring. Buzzing in your pocket with that annoying default ringtone. With it being given to you just before the end of your last contract, you suspect it was another ‘job’ calling. At least work has been consistent lately. A rare thing these days due to the company’s still developing reputation. Even if your bones begged for a break.
Idle hands are the devil’s tools, you reminded yourself.
“Hello?” You answered. Flipping the phone open and pressing it to your ear. Static filling the air for a moment before a female voice could be heard.
“Ah, Lieutenant. Glad to know you’re back on US soil.”
Your brows furrowed slightly. This voice wasn’t one you’ve heard before. Let alone, this woman was addressing you by your old title.
One you no longer held…
“I have a job for you. When’s the soonest you can get to the café down the street?”
In your mind’s eye, you knew exactly where it was. A quaint little place run by a sweet older lady whom you’ve exchanged pleasantries with numerous times. It had quickly become your favorite place to read and enjoy a hot cup. Merely 5 minutes away.
“I can be there in 15.”
“Excellent.”
Then the line was dead. Short, simple, and sweet. At least this job was already seemingly cut and dry, if that single conversation was anything to go off of.
You quickly change into something more casual. Going for civvies rather than something that screamed ‘military-trained killer’ that you are. Can’t be scaring the locals now, can we? Active wear being your most comfortable choice.
Given your hair has seen better days, you opted to wear a light gray beanie. Just to hide the awkward indent your hair held onto. All from being in a tight ponytail for far too long. Slipping on your white tennis shoes, you headed out the door.
The café wasn’t too busy this time of day, the late morning. Most people having already gotten their caffeine fix by now. Making it easy to spot the person you were to meet up with. A lady sitting in the outdoor patio section, the only one with two coffees.
She was a petite woman, looking up to see you through her blonde bangs. Slowly, she rises and welcomes you at the sleek metal table set. The steel squealed on pavement as she pushed her chair back, rising to extend her hand out to you in a well-practiced handshake. Her coffee, half drank, implied she had been here for a short while.
“Hello, Kate Laswell, nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“Please, have a seat,” gesturing to the adjacent seat, she slid back into her chair.
You join her, briefly glancing at the coffee set before you then back up to her. Business first. Catching your drift, Kate gave a tight lipped smile and continued, “Your file is quite impressive, and you’ve come highly recommended from your company.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“We went ahead and ran a quick check on you. You’ve been cleared and given the green light.”
You give a small nod, itching to get at the meat of the conversation.
“See, we don’t really reach out to others. Rather, we are the ones others reach out to. However,” Laswell paused, moving to pull out a manilla folder. Your folder. Her deft fingers flipping it open, and pulling out a pen, “We are looking to expand our team for an indefinite time, due reasons I can’t yet discuss. With the skills you possess, it would make a great fit.”
You tilt your head slightly, eyes stay steady on her. Working with a team wasn’t unusual for you. Done it multiple times. Even when you rather preferred your own company. What was unusual was that there wasn’t a set amount of time.
Moving forward to lean on your elbows, resting them against the cool metal table, you nodded once more. Conveying your interest but not wanting to interrupt her.
“But there’s one thing I have to ask. Tell me, why did you leave the military in the first place? Only to continue your work elsewhere just a year later?”
There it was. That dreaded question. Same one you’ve been asked over and over this past year. Yet it still had a habit of making your throat instantly go dry.
Surely your file already explained it? Your contract with special forces was just about up when it happened. You remember the exact moment your commander broke the news to you while out with your platoon. That you were heading home, and quickly.
Next thing you knew, it was 18 hours later, and you were there— kneeling bedside by the last person you considered your true family.
It’s just a quick psych evaluation on the subject, you reminded yourself.
You give a small nod while clearing your throat. Your smile not faltering. Reaching out to that coffee in front of you, you take a sip. The coffee had long since lost its warmth. It’s bitter and barely lukewarm as it travels down your tight throat.
“An unexpected death in the family. I was needed to come home to sort a few things out.” You state simply, setting the cup back down. “I was put in charge of settling everything.”
“Ah,” Laswell nods, “I see. Apologies for your loss.”
You watch as she clicks the pen and scribbles something down in red ink. Your eyes flickered down to her writing before snapping back up. You manage to keep a polite smile, but already wanting to move off the subject. Still, you could tell she was trying to be understanding.
“Well, that’s it then. Welcome to the team,” Laswell clicked her pen and closed your file.
“Thank you, ma’am. How soon am I shipping out?” You asked, gauging how much time you had to wait before being pulled right back into action.
“That burner will text you the location and time. Dress warm.” Laswell gave a warm, knowing smile while moving to stand. You mirroring her movement. Both of you shake hands and part ways. While she walked away, you turned to head inside the café. A hot coffee, sweetened to your liking, you found yourself suddenly craving.
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spiderwarden · 27 days
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Minthara approving and being inspired by the major GOOD acts will never not be funny and ironic to me…
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Shout out to knittingfool dot com for having a program to just input gauge out come the right numbers. A negative shout out (call out?) to me for refusing to knit sweaters in the round so I have to rework the whole pattern. I would’ve had to rework a lot of it anyway, the neckline instructions are.... Confusing. I’m still not quite sure what I have down is correct but the math checks out. And I see no reason not to add short rows to the back of the neck.
This was absolutely worth not having to try to track down a pattern with a matching gauge or trying to do all the math on my own tho, we’ll see if it works out for me.
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virtuangel · 2 years
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the prof is rlly cute actually n her class was like interesting n boring at the same time . but she was cute AND get this . ok listen carefully u may not believe just how brave i was bc . i sat in second row (classroom not lecture hall 👎 i dont have any halls this semester that sucks so bad im literally attending uni to sit in a lecture hall n u deprive me of that??) And i spoke up a few times can u believe .... AND during the pause between the two parts of the class i went to talk to her abt how i dont have a group for the group presentation (they shld make group presentations illegal btw i think. but thats . off topic) bc i was absent the first few weeks
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arcticmist0324 · 2 months
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Yesterday I had the realization that back in the early-mid 2010s, I had a pretty huge squish on my marching band section leader who I haven’t seen regularly in a decade and last saw probably 8 years ago. It’s like oh so that’s what was going on.
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fennthetalkingdog · 4 months
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One of my new friends is trying to get me into K-pop and it's slowly working 😭😭😭 I was restraining myself to a few Stray Kids songs and maybe an NCT-127 song before, but now she's got me listening to Ateez and P1Harmony too! And worse, she drives me back from one of my classes twice a week and I just KNOW she's gonna be showing me a new song every time :')
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propertyofwicked · 5 months
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FIRST - LN
lando discovers his bestfriends little sister is a virgin, and will stop at no lengths to change that (and ruin her for anyone else)
warnings: smut!! MDNI!! virgin reader, fewtrell!sister, mostly soft smut with a small innocence kink
✧ it's officially assignment szn and ur girl is STRESSED. my posts wont be as frequent for a while but i am currently creating a backlog of things to post! ✧
masterlist the playlist
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“ok, y/n - truth or dare?” ria asked the girl from across the circle they sat in on the floor of max’s living room.
being so close in age to her older brother, y/n fewtrell fit in well with his friendship group, often preferring to hang out with them over her own friends. a few others were dotted around the house, P and a couple girls using the kitchen. they were all due to head to a club soon, only using max’s house to pre drink as he lived closest.
“truth,” she responded, giggling slightly as the alcohol began to turn her tipsy - not drunk, just jolly she had told max when he last checked on her.
“where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?” ria asked, giggling to herself at the rest of the group laughed, turning to face y/n for her answer. she went silent, heat rising her face gradually. her eyes scanned the group, everyone staring expectantly at her - only max avoided her gaze, looking at his phone to queue songs to the playlist.
“i- uh, well i guess i…haven’t?” she replied, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. she didn’t know why she was so embarrassed - she was 19, almost 20, and it seemed that everyone around her was coupled up, or at least active in that department. and, it hadn’t been through lack of trying, every man she had almost been with had found out and used it to get to who she was related to - and subsequently, lando - or gave her the ick before they got the chance to.
“what do you mean you haven’t?!” niran had laughed out, he hadn’t meant to laugh, he just couldn’t believe it.
“i ju-”
“ok can we stop quizzing my little sister on her sex life? please,” max interrupted, y/n sighing out a breath of relief when they finally moved to the next person. her eyes scouted across the group of people, glad to see them all distracted and no longer giving her the sympathy eyes over her pathetic excuse of a love life.
in her embarrassment, however, y/n missed the way lando’s eyes had darted to look at her when she had answered, missing the way they darkened slightly at the revelation. he shook the thoughts plaguing his mind away, focusing on keeping his face neutral as he watched the blush rising her cheeks.
she didn’t miss the way his eyes followed her as she snuck out the room, however. she’d hope no one would notice her sneaking into the kitchen, smiling at P before swiping a bottle of something and heading to the garden, legs landing gracefully to sit on a step.
this was not the first time she had dwelled on this, but this time, she could at least comfort the blow of her overactive brain by drinking - or so she thought. as not a moment after she’d removed the cap, the bottle was being snatched from her hands and closely inspected by a man towering above her crouched body.
“this smells like ass, y/n - are you sure you wanna drink it?” lando asked her, lowering himself to sit on the step next to her. the sky was darkening, stars filling the vast blackness.
“yes im sure, thanks dad,” she mocked him, arms reaching over to snatch the bottle from him, but once again, he moved his arm out, stretching the bottle further from her reach.
“nuh uh!” lando said, shaking his head, “only when you tell me why you intend on drinking what im sure is the finest bottle of… £3.99 vodka - jesus, £3.99?”
“sorry mister ‘owns-2-mclarens-and-a-lambo’,” she replied, leaning further into his side in a desperate bid to get the bottle back - she wasn’t even sure she wanted to drink it anymore, she just wanted something to fiddle with when lando eventually forced her to talk to him.
“didn’t answer my question, darlin’” he told her, placing the bottle besides him as he removed one of his threaded bracelets, placing it in her exposed palm.
oh he knew her a little too well.
“i jus- no it’s so stupid,” she conceded, the bracelet twisting around her fingers. she stared directly at it, refusing to meet lando’s intense gaze.
“bet it’s not,” he told her, moving an arm to wrap around her when he felt the chill air brush his own skin.
“you know what’s worse than having to announce to your friends that you’re a lonely little virgin that no one wants? being the lonely little virgin. it’s so fucking embarrassing - i’m 19, hell i’m nearly 20 and when everyone around you has someone in their life, it’s so hard not to feel so behind in your own life, to feel completely unlovable, to constantly feel like there’s something wrong with you,” she breathed out, still refusing to make eye contact with the man besides her.
lando took in a deep breath, choosing his next words so carefully. his hand reached up to her chin, turning her face to look up at his.
“y/n, you are not unlovable, you’re not falling behind in life and there is certainly nothing wrong with you,” he told her, his tone harsh in attempt to knock some sense into her. she shook her head at him in disbelief, his hand dropping back to his side.
“see, i really want to believe you but the evidence isn’t really stacking up in support of your argument. if that was true, i probably wouldn’t be sat in my brother’s back garden throwing myself a pity party.”
“i think your brother might’ve had a part to play in this, if im honest y/n,” lando said, slipping up slightly. she paused at his words, before her head shot round to look at him again.
“what? what do you mean max has something do with the fact no one wants me?”
“it’s not that no one wants you, y/n,” he sighed at her again before giving in, realising he’d already said too much to stop now, “it’s just that max has a bad habit of… threatening anyone who even mentions you in that way?” he added, his tone making it sound like he wasn’t even sure himself.
“threatening them?” she repeated, anger beginning to bubble up in her stomach.
“he’s only actually hit 2 of them - hell even ive had a close call with his fist a few times,” lando laughed, before realising what he’d indirectly admitted to. luckily, neither of them had time to dwell on it before the man in question popped his head round the door.
“what are you two losers doing out here?” he joked, before sensing some tension being thrown his way, “whatever, we’re leaving in a minute if you wanna get ready?”
“no thanks,” y/n told him, pushing herself up and beginning to walk past him.
“huh?” max replied, confused.
“i said, no thanks. wouldn’t wanna risk you punching anyone who shows the slightest interest in me,” she added, arms crossed over her chest as she glared at him. she turned quickly on her heel, walking off, ignoring the group as she trailed up to the spare bedroom.
the two boys shared a look between them, lando’s face holding that of apology whilst max’s was gradually moving to infuriated.
“what did you tell her?” max asked him, jaw clenching slightly.
“i didn’t mean to,” lando replied, throwing his arms out slightly as he stood up, “i just thought she ought to know that the reason boys don’t go for her is not because she is completely unlovable.”
“she said that?” max asked, startled slightly at the comment, “she thought she was unlovable?”
lando said nothing, throwing a simple nod at him before brushing past him and making his way to the front door.
y/n laid in her bed, her mind racing through the conversation with lando, like a record on repeat. she’d heard the rest of them leave the house almost an hour ago, leaving her to lay with her own thoughts once more.
there was nothing wrong with her, max just threatened anyone who came too close to her.
max had punched 2 guys who had tried to get with her.
max had tried to punch lando - wait, why had he tried to punch lando?
the sound of the front door opening, then quickly shutting again drew her from her thoughts, a natural panic spreading through her veins.
“hello?” she called out, confused as to who could be walking in the house right now. there was no response for a moment, the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs filled the silence.
“it’s just me, baby,” a voice called out, the childhood nickname letting her know it was lando approaching her bedroom. the name used to be max and lando’s attempt to tease the girl, calling her a baby when she cried after dropping her ice cream. that was when she was 7, but 13 years later, the nickname still stuck. somewhere along the line, the name had turned from mimicking to a term of endearment, blurring the lines of their friendship every time he called out to her.
“oh thank god, i thought you were a murderer,” she joked, her breathing easing as his head poked around the door, eyes meeting hers.
“you thought i was a murderer and chose to shout ‘hello’? brave, or stupid?” lando joked back.
“never let them know your next move,” y/n replied with a shrug, before noticing the way one of lando’s hands remained hidden behind the door, “whatcha got there?” she asked him, the way one would ask a dog who had something they shouldn’t.
“depends, are you gonna be nice to me?” he shot back.
“me? im always nice to you, lan,” an innocent smile built on her face.
“tell that to the scar on my back.”
“tell the scar on your back to get over it, it was 10 years ago,” she snorted as he moved further into the door frame.
“no ice cream for you then,” lando replied, smirking at her as he shrugged.
“you got ice cream?” she asked, eyes widening at him.
“thought you might wanna watch a film and forget about tonight with a flurry.”
“gimme,” y/n said, making grabby hands that would’ve been embarrassing had she not already had the worst night of her life.
“nuh uh, not until you’re nice to m-”
“oh get over here you drama queen,” she groaned at him, patting the spot next to her on the bed. lando would never say no to her, giving in so easily as he climbed under the blanket, an arm falling naturally behind her head as he did.
he began fiddling with the tv remote, scrolling through netflix for something to watch. y/n leant further into his embrace, her head settling lightly on his chest as she looked up at him.
“lan - why didn’t you stay at the club?” she asked quietly, fighting the urge to fiddle with her fingers, nervous at the thought of insinuating that he’d want to spend his evening with her instead.
“clubs are only good when you’re drunk,” lando replied with a shrug, eyes still focused on the tv, “id rather just be the designated driver and still be able to get up for training in the morning.”
his eyes flitted down at her quickly, glad she’d returned her gaze to the screen as if he’d seen her wide eyes staring up at him, lando doubted he’d be able to control himself. what she’d revealed earlier still flew around his brain as he fought desperately to shake away any thoughts of taking her innocence, ruining her for anyone else. god, he felt like a creep.
the two fell into a comfortable silence, both of them appearing to focus on the film playing in front of them. lando’s hand remained tightly around her waist, his hand moving beneath her shirt slightly for his fingers to trace circles into her skin. her head remained on his chest, each breath taking in the lingering smell of his aftershave.
“lan?” she broke the silence again, looking up at him once again.
“yes, baby?” he replied, eyes never straying from the screen.
“what did you mean earlier when you said max had even tried to punch you?”
his head shot down to look at her, feeling himself crumble slightly as her eyes stared widely up at him, her tired voice drawing him further into the trap. he could lie, tell her it was a misunderstanding. or he could tell her the truth, and pray it didn’t destroy his entire friendship with the fewtrell siblings.
“when you told me i wasn’t unlovable earlier, you really meant…” she asked, filling in for his silence. she trailed off at the end of her sentence, unwilling to get her hopes up.
“yeah.. so about that,” he said, trying to regain his confidence. she hit at his chest lightly, pushing herself to sit up and look at his face clearer than ever.
“how long?” she asked him with unwavering eye contact.
“longer than i want to admit,” lando replied, smiling at her awkwardly, “and i understand if you don’t fe-”
“kiss me.”
“wha-”
“you heard me,” she told him before joining their lips apprehensively. it started off slow, both testing the waters before falling into a steady pace. his tongue swiped her bottom lip softly, deepening the kiss as his hand raised to hold her jaw. she stifled a moan, embarrassed at the way her body was reacting to the slightest touch.
“don’t get shy on me now, baby,” he told her, hands dropping to her waist, “come ‘ere.”
lando’s hands settled on her hips, fingers gripping at them slightly to guide her onto his lap. as she settled into the new position, he kissed her again, gentle in the way he pulled her in closer, his free hand disappearing under her shirt to draw circles into her skin once more. her hips instinctively rolled into his at the feeling, and he gripped at her skin harder, a small groan escaping his mouth.
“fuck, keep that up and i won’t be able to stop,” he warned her as she rolled her hips again. his head dropped to her jaw, pressing soft kisses along the skin.
“what if i don’t want this to stop?” she asked him, causing him to pause, looking up at her softly.
“are you sure?” he asking, checking her face for any sign of hesitancy. she nodded at him before speaking.
“there’s no one i trust more.”
with her reassurance, lando flipped the top of them over, trailing kisses down her neck as he hovered above her.
“we’ll go slow,” he told her as he pulled at her t-shirt, tugging the fabric up her torso, “wanted this for so long. gonna take my time with you,” he mumbled, pressing soft kisses to the skin of her stomach. her back arched into him slightly, helping him remove her top fully. y/n felt exposed, more so than usual. had it not been for lando’s large hands snaking up to grab at her breasts, she would’ve used her own to shield her nudity.
“so gorgeous,” he mumbled again, before dipping his head to take one of her nipples in his mouth, tongue flicking at it, his fingers tugged at the other. he pushed himself back up, re joining their lips in a sweet kiss.
“gonna make you feel good, alright?” he asked her, watching the way her head nodded at him, “yeah? need you to use your words from now on baby.”
“think you should take your top off now,” she told him, her confidence returning slightly, “seems a bit unfair,” she added, jokingly pointing at her own exposed chest.
“so it is,” he agreed, sitting back on his knees as his hands gripped the bottom of his own t-shirt, lifting it over his head. the material landed on the floor, but y/n couldn’t care less - she was much more focused on the way his muscles looked, a combination of his tan and the soft fairy lights illuminating his features in a way that had her stomach rolling for him.
“oi! my eyes are up here,” he joked, settling himself between her legs. lando’s hands trailed up the exposed skin of her thighs, dragging his fingers slowly. her hips jutted up slightly at the sensation, a satisfied smirking fighting its way onto lando’s face.
“this ok?” he asked her, hands toying with the waistband of her shorts.
“yeah,” she breathed out, anticipation beginning to get the better of her as he began pulling the material away from her heat.
“tell me to stop and i’ll stop,” lando told her, discarding her shorts with his top, before adjusting his gaze to her, “just relax f’me. breathe,” he added, noticing the way her chest had frozen, breath caught in her throat. a finger ran through her folds softly, her hips rolling slightly at the sudden feeling of his rough finger pad circling her clit. his movements stopped for a moment as he moved back up her body, kissing her softly as he gathered her slick along his fingers.
“so wet for me,” he told her, kissing at her jaw, “gonna get you ready for me, ok?”
“please, lan,” she begged, panting slightly as his fingers circled her heat again, pressing into her slightly. it’s not like she hadn’t done this before on herself, which was potentially her downfall the moment he pressed a finger into her, the stretch unexpected. lando’s face pressed into her neck, kissing a trail along the skin as he pumped his finger a few times. he could hear every noise she made for him so clearly, drawing him to push a second finger into her, feeling the way her walls clamped around him.
“im ready, lan, please just fuck me,” she begged him, panting in between her words. he could’ve passed out her words, blood rushing from his brain and straight to his cock. his body pushed back up, standing quickly to remove the rest of his clothes. her hands halted him as they reached out and grabbed at the waist band of his joggers, pulling them down slowly as the pressure of his cock strained against the tight material. he helped her remove them fully, her spare hand adding difficulty as she palmed him through his boxers.
“fuck, angel,” he groaned, careful not to overwhelm her as she pulled at his boxers, tugging them down as she had his joggers. however they soon established his noises were not as overwhelming as the size of his cock - her eyes widening as she came face to face with it, her finger running down the thick vein that travelled his length.
“like what you see?” he joked in attempt to ease her nerves.
“how-? is that gonna fit?” she stuttered, gaze travelling down to her stomach as if she were trying to size herself up.
“im sure we’ll make it work,” he replied, hand reaching to her chin, forcing her to look back up at him, “remember, we can stop whenever.”
she nodded at him, before reaching up, looping her arms around his neck to pull him into a kiss. he used the leverage to lay her back down, hovering over her once again as he rested on his forearm. without breaking the kiss, he reached down, guiding his cock through her folds a few times before settling the tip at her entrance.
“you sure?” lando checked again, searching her face for any last minute apprehension.
“are you sure?” she retorted, her smile illuminated by the moons glow, “can’t imagine fucking a virgin is high on your bucket list.”
“you’d be surprised,” he responded, mumbling slightly, his cock throbbed in his hand. he began lowering his hips, pushing into her slowly, low grunts falling from his lips as he disappeared further inside her.
“breathe baby, breathe for me,” he told her, feeling the way her body had tensed, her chest stilling as she inhaled deeply, “feel so good.”
lando waited a moment, watching the way her face softened, his necklace dangling dangerously around her lips. he started moving at a gentle pace, careful to listen to her responses.
“feels good,” she told him, eyes looking into his.
“yeah? ‘my the first person to make you feel good?” he asked, baiting her slightly.
“yes, fuck lan. only you.”
he close to lost it, his brain short circuiting at her words. he began to move faster in her, relishing in the way she moaned his name, her walls contracting around his cock. his hand reached between the two of them, fingers flicking at her clit before drawing pressured circles around her heat.
“faster, lan, please,” y/n begged him, her hand raising to tug at his curls.
“gonna ruin you for anyone else, angel,” he grunted, hips snapping into hers at a brutal pace, his eyes focused on the way her breasts moved in unison with his thrusts.
lando felt his high coming quicker than he could ever remember, feeling the way her grip on his bicep tightened and her breathing became more sporadic letting him know she was close too.
“you wanna cum with me?” he asked her, his tone soft whilst his pace remained rough, his fingers beginning to trace his own name on her clit. it gave him a sense of ownership over her, an invisible trace of him that would linger on her sensitivity forever - and she loved it, whining at the feeling of his skin on hers.
“please, fuck. wanna cum,” she told him, eyes shutting as her head rolled back. lando’s head dropped to her exposed neck, his teeth nipping at the skin before he titled his head further, mouth landing on the flesh of her breast. he’d quickly realised that leaving visible mark on his best friends little sister was potentially not the smartest idea, choosing to nip at the skin of her tit, mouth sucking the flesh into his lips as he did. his raised himself up again, admiring the way blood ran to the surface of her skin, only imagining the way she’d look when a bruise formed on the spot.
“only me?” he asked her, hand moving to grip her jaw, dark eyes locking with hers.
“only you,” she replied in a breathless moan.
“good girl,” he said, feeling the way her hips rolled up into his, heat running through her entire body as her climax washed over her. y/n shook around him lightly, her stomach spasming as she rode out her high, but lando couldn’t stop and admire the view. he pulled out quickly, feeling his own high rising in his cock, both of their eyes glued on the way his cock shot out ropes of cum that landed on her stomach.
“so….” she started, trying to fill the somewhat awkward tension in the room.
“we are so doing that again,” he said with a chuckle and he moved to locate his joggers on the floor.
“oh absolutely,” she replied, laughing with him as the fear of him leaving her washed away, though her eyebrow quirked up at him as he shuffled to the door.
“just grabbing a cloth. gotta get you cleaned up so we can finish the film,” he added with a smile.
minutes later, they were both sat back in the bed, her legs thrown over his lap as one hand grazed the skin of his back lightly, lando’s hand running up and down her thigh in a similar fashion. they sat in a comfortable silence, knowing that eventually they would need to discuss the future of this, the future of them, but for now lando relished in the way her hand continuously stroked at the same spot on his back. the same spot - he internally questioned.
“watcha doing?” he finally asked, curious to her supposed fixation on his left shoulder blade.
“apologising to the scar on your back?” she retorted, circling back to their earlier conversation.
“never apologise for anything ever again,” he mumbled into her hair, before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
“what if i murdered your entire family?” she piped up.
“i support women’s rights and their wrongs.”
“preach.”
-
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itsswritten · 3 months
Text
Cauldron-born
Pairing: Azriel x fem reader
Word Count: 1.7K
Summary: When an unexplainable energy pulls the Inner Circle to barge into the Day court, they're all shocked at what they find. But it's Azriel who can't help wonder if his dreams have finally been answered.
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“I hadn’t meant to hide this from you Rhysand,” Helion’s usual warm tone was replaced with something sterner, bolder— unwavering.
A breeze pulled on your skirt, the floaty material rippling under the wind. It was always warm in Day, but now, with the appearance of uninvited guests, there was a coldness in the air you hadn’t experienced before.
A bite that pulled at your skin raising goosebumps across your arms.
You guessed this reaction wasn’t a rare occurrence when facing the Night Courts Inner Circle.
Helion shifted his weight, his body stood in front of yours in a protective manner. A nervousness emitted from his energy, an emotion that actually seemed strange to even be associated with him. 
Helion wasn’t the nervous type. Charming and flirtatious, bold and defiant— not nervous.
Helion pushed his shoulders back, his stance flexing against the shadowy group that had just arrived. 
They had shaken him. 
Perhaps you were naive to think these people wouldn’t, naive to believe you could live your life quietly. Slip through the cracks. Go unnoticed. No you were not destined for that, as much as your dear friend may have wanted that for you.
So if a quiet life was not meant to be, then you would at least claim it as yours. 
With a light step you moved from behind Helion to his side, coming into full view of the group who had appeared unannounced in the courtyard. Your hand came to Helion’s gently, giving him a soft squeeze and light smile that stretched to your eyes.
How they had gotten through Day Courts shields didn’t come as a surprise really. Helion had divulged how powerful the High Lord of the Night Court was. That if he really wanted to take them all down, then Helion suspected in that unrelenting pit of power Rhys probably could.
But despite this power, Rhys had never ravaged control over the land. Helion was fond of Rhys and his family, they were allies. Perhaps he would even consider them friendly.
And yet Helion hadn’t told them about you.
Energies and rhythms rippling from their bodies, all with their own melody of colours unique to them floated toward you. Your eyes scanned over their features quickly, reading their expressions, the tight lines their faces made before one look pulled you to a hasty stop.
A hazel lock held you tightly as a males gaze ensnared you. 
Golden rays broke through a midnight blue aura, trapping you in a moment that seemed to expand and retract all at once. He was the most beautiful male you’d ever laid eyes on, and it took every ounce of will power to pull your gaze from his.
There was a simmering at the pit of your stomach, something familiar and warm, and you swore you could hear singing—
“She is like us.” A girl from the back of the crowd spoke, beautiful and sweet. Elain, you assumed. Her aura, one that resembled sunlight radiating in golden flicks. If you hadn’t known who she was you’d had assumed she was a Day court resident from her glow alone.
Elain stepped forward, another girl stepping beside her as if they’d both been pulled by the same magnetic pulse to the front of the group.
This girl. This girl was Nesta. You were sure of it. That silver flickering aura licked at her skin, an energy so similar and yet so different to her sisters.
“Hm..no not exactly like us…” Elain seemed to mutter, more to herself than anyone else. Her eyes scanning you as she tried to get a read, try and decipher what had pulled her here in the first place. 
Why you had pulled them here.
“Something other.” Nesta spoke.
You don’t think she’d actually intended for it to sound so venomous, but the words had snapped like poison. You noticed how for a split second there was a softeness in her energy. Whether she was regretful of her tone or not, you had flinched at the word.
Other.
Hm. Perhaps that was the best way to describe you.
Elain glanced at her sister, her face not changing as she digested Nesta’s words. There was a shuffling behind them, only slight and small. Would barely be noticeable if it wasn’t so hard for you not to notice.
Him.
His scarred fingers twitched at his sides, shadows swirling around them as they peered over those giant black membranes that were drawn in at his back. A tattoo creeped up the side of his neck, peeking through his shirt as you followed up to his jaw. Black leather’s covered his body, blue siphons shimmering under the setting sun. You tried so hard not to let your eyes wander back, but as though you had no control you gaze landed on his again. 
Only to find he was already staring.
Azriel.
Helion had mentioned him to you before and you recalled how you had rolled the name a few times in your mouth. The name feeling so foreign and familiar all at once.
“Not cauldron-made, no not quite.” Elain had turned her attention back to you.
You had stepped forward now, stepped out from the shadow of Helion.
Stepped out to face what you had been avoiding. 
“You are Cauldron-born.” 
“Would you like to join us for some tea?” Your response had been after Elain’s heavy statement.
Your words coming out in a flurry to cut through the heaviness in the air. Despite being outside it felt stifling. Several eyes piercing into you. You could almost hear the way they were trying to decipher you— breakdown what Elain had said. 
You hadn’t allowed them the time. Quickly offering them tea, as you glanced at the small set up you and Helion had come to the courtyard to enjoy.
It was only a matter of moments before more furniture was erected and began the awkward silence while the piping pot of tea began to simmer to a cool.
Your hands were scrunched up in your skirt, fists full of fabric on your lap being an obvious tell of unease to those who knew what to look for. A strained smile was forced to your lips, expression light and brows arched in apprehension as you watched the uninvited guests silently take sips of tea. 
With a quick sideways glance you gave Helion a nervous smile, your lips wobbling as you took a sharp inhale. Helion responded with a gentle pat of your head, his large hand coming to ruffle your hair while a lazy smiled adorned his lips.
His energy finally shifting to one you recognised more, warm and teasing. He was relaxed again. Whatever shock the inner circle had originally caused, Helion now seemed...somewhat nonchalant.
That should have been reassuring, but the tension in your muscles didn't want to relax.
“This is y/n,” Helion finally spoke, addressing the people who had barged into his court. 
At the revelation of a name, the inner circle cast their attention solely on you. 
“These are my friends y/n, I’ve told you about them already. We had anticipated your arrival at some point,” he continued giving a knowing look to Rhys.
Your eyes scanned the expressions of the five people in front of you. 
Rhys, Amren, Nesta, Elain and of course Azriel. Not the whole inner circle, no there were members missing. But Helion had done such a great job at explaining them to you, that it really wasn’t difficult to figure out who was who.
“It’s l-lovely to meet you all,” you managed out, voice falling softer than you had hoped. Your own eyes gently moving across them all before flitting to the shadowy presence that remained stood behind the Night Courts High Lord. 
Azriel.
Spymaster and Shadowsinger of the Night Court.
You couldn’t seem to stop yourself from looking, among all the noise he sung the sweetest. His energy, amongst those swirling smoke coloured tendrils was the most beautiful display you had ever seen. Not the most powerful by any means, Rhysand and Helion’s outshone his aura in many ways but his was the most enticing— at least to you.
Composure wasn’t something Azriel usually lacked, but after hearing the softness of your voice fill the warm evening air he had to collect himself entirely.
From the moment he’d set his eyes on you, he couldn’t ignore the feeling in the depths of his chest. Maybe if you hadn’t been the cause of it, he’d have assumed there was something wrong with his heart. 
Azriel noticed the way your fingers nervously picked at your skirt, fists tight with the material as you sat up straight beside Helion. As if your posture would bring a confidence you were clearly lacking. 
He could sense it, your unease, nervousness. Picked up on it before even his shadows could whisper it to him.
Nervous, nervous, nervous.
He blinked them away. He already knew. 
Pretty. 
Another whispered. He already knew that too.
Pretty was putting it plainly though. You were breathtaking. 
Azriel wanted to reassure you. Comfort the anxiety he could tell you were drowning in. It was such a strange sensation, to feel this connection so deeply with someone he’d never met before, that Azriel couldn’t help but question why.
Azriel allowed himself to consider that perhaps something he’d been dreaming of for so long was finally his. 
That feeling, the ache in his chest you caused— was almost painfully lovely. He swore this was exactly how his brothers had described it to him.
Azriel found himself allowing the smallest curve spread to the edge of his lips, a gentle, secret smile. Just for you.
A smile that softened your own forced expression to something more relaxed and genuine. 
For a moment it felt as though it was just you two. The noise and vibrations of everyone else seemed to fade. An embrace of cobalt and hazel filling you with a warmth that felt so familiar.
“But Elain is correct. Y/n is cauldron-born.” Helion’s voice broke the trance you both seemed to be in.
Your nervousness from before simmering hotter.
“It cannot be,” Amren declared, disbelief tinging her tone as her gaze pierced into you.
“You think I lie?” Helion challenged. 
“How do you know for sure?” Rhys pressed back, an uncertainty in his tone.
“Because I know you all feel it too,” Helion’s voice was deep, a gleam in his eye as he turned to you proudly.
“She is the Mother’s daughter.” 
A statement. Even more bold than Elain’s settled a silence across the courtyard. This time it wasn’t stifling, their energy shifting to something of awe, admiration and then devotion.
In one quick movement a figure dropped to their knees. Head pressing to the cool stone ground.
Amren had bowed before your feet. 
And Amren bowed to no one.
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a/n: Okay I know this a whole lot more of elusive-ness and I'm sorry, I just thought sharing this little bit more is better than nothing at all. I wanted to flesh this first out properly so here's the full part one! I've been so swamped with work and inspiration struck this evening so I quickly wrote this in my notes. I promise I will eventually finish it, even if it's just little updates here and there. I'm hoping maybe 2 more parts, so it'll be a nice little mini-series!
I also took it upon myself to try and tag everyone who commented and reblogged because you all seemed very invested so didn't want you to miss this installment even if it is tiny<3
Forever tags: @sleepylunarwolf @daily-dose-of-sass @alittlelostalittlefound-blog @milswrites @amberlynn98 @marscardigan @illyrianbitch @lilah-asteria
CB tags: @hannzoaks @je-suis-prest-rachel @awkardnerd @cleverzonkwombatsludge @faerieboismh @glitterypirateduck @paradisebabey @jesskidding3 @searchingforbucky @beardburnsupersoldiers @chubby-unicornz @toxicsociety17-blog g @sapphenaa @starsidesigh @kalistaangelsbane @bookishthoughtss @pit-and-the-pen
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katsu28 · 13 days
Text
summer's golden haze - chapter one
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: a small town somewhere in beautiful greece, early morning coffee runs, and the cute boy that you keep running into. (4.8k)
warnings: sort of shy!reader, a bit of swearing, lando being both smooth and a little awkward
a/n: series masterlist coming soon :)
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“That guy is totally checking you out.” 
You reluctantly drag your attention away from the truly addicting pasta you’d ordered to meet your friend’s gaze across the table, slightly suspicious, but also a little curious as to what she’s talking about.
Samira is grinning knowingly at you already, mischievously, like she’s got a tasty bit of information you don’t know about. Probably not tastier than the food in front of you, but your interest is piqued nonetheless. 
“What guy?” You sigh, giving into your curiosity quite easily. She arches a perfectly sculpted brow at you, then tilts her head to the side discreetly, and you follow her gaze towards—
Oh. That guy. 
You saw him on your way to your seat at first, a group of four guys sitting a few tables away in the same patio area of the restaurant, drawing your attention even before you’d sat down. Artfully messy brown curls swept up out of his face, thick dark brows framing bright eyes crinkled with laughter at something his friend had said, you’d felt yourself growing conscious of the man’s existence with just one glance. 
And then his gaze had flicked to your friends passing his table, but more importantly, your own gaze, and you’d nearly stumbled on your own feet.
Your cheeks had grown hot at the intensity of his stare following your path to your seat, not to mention the embarrassment that had flooded your veins at the thought of nearly eating shit in front of this very attractive stranger. 
Had you grown the nerve to look back at him at the time, you would’ve seen his lips quirk into a goofy grin, as well as all the shoving he’d gotten from his friends as they’d caught wind of his unabashed staring. 
Now you’re almost done with your meal, and you could swear you’ve felt him looking at you plenty more times. Not that it mattered at all, because your eyes have been firmly glued to your food and your friends only. 
Okay, so you might’ve hastened a few covert glances over in his direction too, but he’s been chatting away to his friends every time, so maybe you’re just making nothing into something. 
“Don’t even try to hide it, you’ve been making eyes at him too, girl,” Your other friend, Maren, pipes up, elbowing you in the arm playfully. The last of your girls, Camille, nods her agreement, smiling gleefully. “He’s hot.”  
Right, so perhaps not as covert as you’d thought. 
“Dunno what you’re talking about,” You reply, spearing another piece of pasta through your fork. You’re kicked under the table at that moment, hard enough to warrant the whine that escapes your mouth. “What?” Now you're met with three pointed glares your way. “Okay, fine. Yeah, he’s cute.” 
“Go talk to him!” 
“Go flirt with him!” 
“Absolutely not!” You exclaim. Your voice comes out louder than you intend and you duck your head quickly, worried you’d disturbed the peace of the quiet area. “He’s probably got a girlfriend already or something.” 
“If he does, she better dump his ass because he's been giving you fuck me eyes all damn night.” 
“No, he has not,” You hiss, which only gets you yet another look from them. You’re starting to get tired of all these looks, actually. “Has he? I mean—are they? Fuck me eyes?” 
“Oh yeah, he—” 
Camille clears her throat, cutting Samira off. “No, they’re not,” She assures you, placing a hand over yours. “He’s been smiling every time he looks over.”
“Maybe he’s looking at one of you guys?” 
“He’s definitely been looking at you.” 
You bite your lip, nose scrunching skeptically. You haven’t really been the subject of any guy’s attention before, let alone one as handsome as this one. You’ve learned it’s better not to get your hopes up when it comes to certain situations. This seems like one of them. “Are you sure?” 
“If I’m wrong, I’ll give you back your share of the villa rental.” 
“Can I get that in writing, or…?” 
Before any of them can come up with a smart remark, a plate is placed into the center of the table, on which is a large square of baklava, light and flaky with that sweet, sugary filling spilling out the sides of the piece that almost makes your mouth water. You’d seen it in the dessert section of the menu earlier, but had decided against ordering it in favor of trying an appetizer instead. 
“Oh, excuse me? We didn’t order this,” Maren speaks up, looking up at the waiter. 
He does a half turn, sweeping an arm in a vague direction. “It is from the gentleman in the blue shirt.” 
You follow his gaze, and fuck, your heart skips a beat in your chest, because it’s him. It’s the same guy you’ve been drawn to all night, and he’s actually looking right back at you this time. His hand comes up in a wave, then back down to his side almost immediately, like he’s worried about it seeming too eager, before settling with a reserved nod. All the while, he’s still got that smile gracing his face that makes your stomach flip flop. 
“He sent over a dessert?!?! I am so keeping that money, girl,” Camille hums, picking up her fork to dig in while Samira and Maren voice their agreement. 
You, on the other hand, well…you’re not sure what to think. You appreciate the gesture, but you're also confused. Why did he send something over? What did he want? 
It doesn't occur to you that he’s truly taken an interest in you until you're huddled outside with your friends talking next steps of the night. Whether you want to keep exploring this new place, or call it a day and go home. You’re firmly on the latter’s side because you're tired. But you’ll go along with whatever is decided. 
The guy and his friends have coincidentally left the restaurant at the same time as you did, judging by the sudden commotion that erupts behind you. Like a moth drawn to a flame, your gaze lands on him yet again, only this time, you actually lock eyes with him. Something jolts through you, something electric up your spine like a tiny shock. Something you’ve never felt before. You shove the foreign feeling deep down, no matter how much you’d like to explore it. 
He looks away, teeth sunk into his bottom lip to quell the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, and you avert your wandering eyes too, before anyone else notices. Evidently you’re a little too slow, because all three of your friends catch on instantly. 
“Go talk to him already.” Camille says matter-of-factly. 
“No, I—what do I even say?” 
“Maybe hello would be a good start?” 
You press your lips together, unimpressed, and you get a snicker in return, something about how you're not asking for his hand in marriage, you’re just trying to make conversation. It’s not that you don’t want to talk to him, it’s that you’re not exactly sure how to approach it. You’ve already convinced yourself of the worst, but to possibly have it play out in real life is a tangible fear of yours, and always has been. 
One of your girls (you’re willing to bet more money it’s Maren) gives you a not so gentle shove towards him, as does one of his friends over in his group. Now you’ve got no choice. You meet each other in the middle, just looking at each other for a few moments. It’s awkward and you have half a mind to turn and go, but then he speaks. 
“Hey,” He says. 
“Hi,” You reply shyly, shifting on your feet nervously. He shoves both hands into his pockets. He looks a bit nervous too, which does a significant wonder to calm you. “Thank you for the baklava. It was delicious.” 
“Yeah, of course. Glad you guys liked it. Figured you can’t go wrong with a classic.” He bobs his head, shoulders creeping up towards his ears in a shrug before dropping back down. “I’m Lando, by the way.” 
Lando. It’s not a name you’re expecting, but it suits him well. 
He sticks his hand out almost instinctively, like he’s been conditioned to do so. Maybe he has, considering the aura of professionality it gives off when you do shake his hand. 
His palm is smooth and warm against yours, long fingers curling around your hand like the sincere smile that curls his lips as you tell him your name in return. Dimples bracket his mouth on both sides. 
The handshake almost lasts a little too long for two people who’ve just met literally a few moments ago, as does the way his eyes linger upon yours. 
Even in the dark of the night, illuminated only by the warm glow of the lamps above you, you can see him much better up close. His sunkissed skin does little to hide the flushed pink on his cheeks that travels down to his chest, disappearing under the generously unbuttoned blue linen. You feel exposed under his intense gaze, looking back at those mesmerizing eyes. Blue, green, gray—maybe a mix of all three, you’re not sure, but you can’t help but want to figure it out. 
Then you remember that you don’t know this guy at all, and it brings you back to reality. 
“Lando, like…the guy from Star Wars?” You ask. It breaks the invisible tether between the two of you and he smiles, laughs a little bit too. 
He shrugs casually. “Not according to my mum and dad, but I do get that a lot.” 
“You must get tired of hearing it from people then.”
His head tilts to one side, smile going endearingly lopsided. “Depends on the person. Like, I didn’t mind when you said it just now.” You’re not sure how to respond to that, so you just smile, and he takes your reaction in stride, moving on. “Are you guys from around here, or…” 
“No, actually, we’re—um, we’re just here on holiday.”
“Oh, same! Yeah, we’ve been here a few days now, it’s been great. Is this your first time in Greece?” He asks, smile turning warm. You nod. “Have you checked out the local market yet?”
“Can’t say we have yet, no. We just got in the day before last, so…still figuring out our footing first. But I’ll keep it in mind, thank you!” 
Lando inhales sharply, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Hey, y’know, if you want, maybe we could—” 
“Oi, Lando! Let’s go, mate!” 
He glances back over at his friends, one of whom is waving for him to return to his group rather wildly, before turning back to you. Whatever he was about to say is lost now, because he shrugs loosely. “Guess that’s my cue,” He sighs. Then his gaze softens, smile turning a little hopeful. “Will I see you around again? Small town and all.” 
“Uh…I dunno. Maybe, if it’s meant to be.” You have to try with all your might not to take the statement back, even though you really, really want to. 
If it’s meant to be—who the fuck says that? Like fate has anything to do with this miraculous interest Lando seems to have taken in you. If you were him, you’d find your words quite off putting. Instead, he smirks, crooked and cute. 
“Meant to be,” He repeats, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Yeah alright, I’ll take my chances. Have a good night.” 
You bid him a soft goodnight, barely able to stifle the giggle that spills from your mouth when he nearly trips over the cobblestones on his way back to his friends. He’s awkward, you think, but still confident. It’s cute. 
Lando stays rooted in your mind the rest of the night, all the way up until you’re lying in bed, waiting for sleep to take hold of you. It’s weird to think this much about a guy you’ve just met, a guy who you’ve only had one conversation with and have left things up to chance in terms of seeing him again. 
-------
You’re the first one awake this morning, roused from your sleep by bright sunlight pouring through the window, even through the curtains. Contemplation of going back to sleep crosses your mind, but it’s no use. You’re up now, so you might as well make the most of your early morning. 
You love your friends dearly, but some alone time sounds like heaven right about now. There’s a coffee spot not far from where you’re staying that you remember seeing on your way in that seems like a perfect match to your solo walk, so you head there. You’ll be a nice friend and bring coffee home for when they eventually wake up too. 
After dropping them a text letting them know you’ve gone out, you set off. The walk back into town is short but serene, a welcome change from the hustle and bustle of your daily lives, and a reminder of why you’d all decided to vacation in this particular region of Greece in the first place. 
Someone calls out something that sounds like your name before you can step into the shop and you pause, casting a glance around to see if your ears might be playing tricks on you. You’ve only been here a few days, and the only other person who knows you other than your friends is…Lando. 
You squint a little harder to see through the glare of the sun, and lo and behold, there he is, hands linked behind his head. The grin that lifts your face is almost embarrassing, or would’ve been had Lando not been so eager upon seeing you wave at him. 
He’s clad in athletic shorts and a cutoff tee that shows off muscles you’re trying your very hardest not to stare at as he makes his way closer, curls tucked away in a baseball cap pulled low on his head. Headphones dangle from around his neck, and he’s panting, chest rising and falling heavily very clearly once he’s stopped in front of you. 
“Hey, good morning! I thought that was you,” He breathes, attempting to catch his breath. “Early riser too, I take it?” 
“Honestly, not usually! The sun decided I would be today, though, so…here I am.” 
“Here you are. Guess it was meant to be then, huh?” He chuckles, reaching up to flip his cap backwards. If you thought he was tan the night you met, he’s even tanner in the sun, bronze skin stretching over sinewy muscle that flexes as he sweeps a hand through his hair before tugging it back down in one smooth motion. “Doing a coffee run?” 
“Yeah, I’m the only one of us awake at this hour so I figured I’d bring them back a little something.” 
“You’re a saint. I’d let my mates suffer if it were me,” Lando snorts. 
You shrug. “Guess that’s the difference between the two of us.” 
“Yeah?” He hums, looking amused. “What else is different between you and me?” 
“Well, first of all, I would never be on a run at eight in the morning. Is someone punishing you, or is this a self-inflicted torture type thing?” 
That gets another laugh out of him, shoulders shaking with mirth. “Gotta keep in shape or my trainer might try to kill me with workouts instead.” 
“You’re an athlete?” You pry, intrigued. He looks the part, you think. Lean but not skinny, strong but not massively built. A runner, maybe? 
Lando freezes a split second, rocks from foot to foot, scratching at his nose. “Kind of, yeah.” 
“What’s your sport?” 
“Uh…golf. It’s more like a hobby than anything else.” 
“Golf,” You repeat, an amused smile poking at the edges of your mouth. “Can’t say I know a thing about it.” 
“Oh, it’s definitely something else, for sure. Super intense stuff, really grueling.” His words say one thing, but he’s grinning like he’s pulling your leg, lip pulled between his teeth in that same way as last night, nose scrunching adorably as he bobs his head quickly to further sell it. 
“Sure, if you say so. But d’you think your trainer would get mad if you cut your super intense training short to grab a cup of coffee with a friend?” 
You’re almost expecting him to say no, but Lando perks up instead, eyes crinkling happily at the corners. “Not at all. Shall we?” 
Over coffee, you find that Lando is an excellent conversationalist—funny and a good listener, an even better storyteller. He asks about you without seeming pushy or prying, and because of that you feel yourself relaxing a bit in his presence. Opening yourself up to the possibility of a good thing with him, no matter how short or fleeting it may be, whether it’s friendship or something more. 
A few weeks of summer in a place you've never been with a boy you don’t know is the time to be a little bolder. Chances are you’ll never see Lando again after this trip, so why not loosen up just a little bit? 
It’s only when more people start to trickle into the shop and you start to notice Lando’s eyes shifting over your shoulder more that you realize you’ve been here with him for a while now. And judging by the dozens of missed calls and texts from all three of your friends on your phone when you go to check it for the first time since you’d left, you’ve been gone a lot longer than you said you’d be. 
You know them well enough to know that they’re not above calling the local police to send out a search party for you if you don’t find your way back soon. 
“Friends wondering where you are?” 
You nod, sending a quick message that you are indeed alive and not kidnapped like they feared, before tucking your phone away again. “Guess I better get them their coffees for sure now, or else they might not let me back in the house.” 
“Lemme buy it for them,” He offers sincerely, offering you a lopsided grin. You shake your head rapidly at the suggestion, but he continues, “I’m the reason you’ve been gone so long, the least I can do is buy them drinks. Call it an apology for making them worry, yeah?” 
“You really don’t have to, Lando.” 
“I know. I want to,” He insists, looking truly genuine. First dessert last night, now coffee today. You have half a mind to push back a little more, but you get the feeling Lando is as persistent as he is handsome, so you taking a firm stance on something like this seems like a moot point. Giving in, you nod, and he mirrors it, looking proud. 
He lets you take the lead in reciting your friends’ orders once you’ve made your way back over to the front counter, stepping forward with a hand to the small of your back to pay for the drinks before you have any bright ideas to pull one over on him and pay for them yourself. 
The barista smiles politely, pen hovering above a cardboard cup. “And a name for that?” 
Lando casts a furtive glance around the area before leaning in and saying his name quietly, as if he’s worried he’ll run into someone who he doesn’t want to see. You notice, but don’t really pay it any mind. You understand far too well not wanting to talk to someone you're unprepared for. 
Soon enough Lando’s got the drinks in hand and you’re back outside, and he’s smiling again. You’ve noticed he does that a lot when he looks at you. You’re sure you’re the same way with him. 
“My mates and I, we’re planning on having a little barbeque at our villa tomorrow night. You should come,” Lando says encouragingly, tilting his head to the side. When your brows raise in surprise, he hastily adds, “And your friends too, obviously. We’d love the company.” 
“Ah! Um, I dunno. Wouldn’t wanna crash your thing.” 
“You wouldn't be. Seriously, come hang out. We’re fun, I promise!” 
“I just—I forget if we’ve got plans, that’s all.” You’re not lying when you say it, you truly forget if you’re free tomorrow night. Most of it stems from your awful memory, but a small part of it attributes to how your brain kind of stops working properly around Lando. 
“Right, well, you figure that out, and if you find you’ve got a free evening,” He balances the drinks deftly in one hand, the other fishing his phone out of his shorts pocket and swiping at the screen briefly before holding it out to you, “text me, let me know.” 
You’re not sure where you find the boldness to tap your phone number into his contacts, but you do it with confidence, saving it under your name and a smiley face. 
“Cute.” Lando smirks, chuckling as he sends a simple hi so you've got his number too. “Now, I believe these are yours, and…maybe I’ll see you tomorrow? If it’s meant to be.” 
You smile at the mirroring of last night’s words from him as you situate the cardboard tray in your own arms. “Maybe.” 
The smile hasn’t left your face even by the time you arrive back home, because you’ve been thinking about Lando the whole way. For a stranger you’ve met only yesterday, he’s sure been occupying a lot of space in your mind. You aren’t entirely sure how to feel about it. 
You’re already prepared for the berating you’re about to get as you close the front door behind you carefully, making your way to the kitchen.
“Where the hell have you been?” 
You look up to see all three of your friends sitting around the kitchen table, and none of them look particularly happy. You smile innocently, holding up the cardboard tray of drinks up as a peace offering. “Coffee?” 
“It better come with an explanation.” 
Nodding vigorously, you dole out each drink to your friends. “It does, I swear. I didn’t just disappear, I ran into—” 
“Hold the fuck on. Why does this say Lando? Why is that man’s name on my cup—” 
“Oh my god, you did not get coffee with him without telling us!” 
“You bitch!” 
That’s how you end up telling them the whole story—running into him in town, talking for ages, and that brings you to your next point. 
“We don’t have any plans for tomorrow night, do we?” 
“There’s the vineyard tour in the afternoon, but that should end around five. Why?” 
“Lando invited us to a barbecue at his villa,” You say quickly. That gets their attention immediately, all of their eyes widening in the same shocked looks. None of them answer your question though. “Is that…something we’d be interested in?” 
Samira is the first to snap out of it, mouth curving into a playful smirk. “Invited us, or invited you?” 
“Definitely just her.” 
“Whatever! Do we wanna go or not?” You grumble, doing your best to fight the grin threatening to overtake your face. The thought of him wanting to spend time with you brings you a teensy bit of satisfaction. 
“Of course we’re going!” 
After they’re done poking fun at you, you’re able to take a moment to top out a quick message to Lando. That barbecue invite still up for grabs? 
You're not expecting an immediate answer, but your phone dings with a text back before you even set it down. 
Lando: Of course. Plans fell through? 
You: seems like you’ve really made an impression on my friends 
Lando: Not sure whether to be scared or flattered…
You: your guess is as good as mine! we’ll find out tomorrow :)
Lando: Brb gotta go call my lawyer and update my will 
“You’re texting him right now, aren’t you?” 
You look up from your phone to see Camille leaning in the doorway to your room, a soft, knowing smile on her face. “Yeah, he—uh, he says he’s looking forward to meeting you guys again.” She comes to sit beside you, looking like she wants to talk about something. You set it aside, head tilting in a silent question. 
“Do you think you’ll stay in contact with Lando after we leave?” 
“I’m not sure. Haven’t really thought about it all that much, to be honest.”
If you do think about it, you haven’t even known Lando for more than a day. You’ve only just met him yesterday, seen him twice, one of which was completely spur of the moment. So what if that spur of the moment encounter was the most connected you’ve felt to someone in a long time? 
You don’t know him, and chances are, he’s not looking for anything serious. You don’t even know if you’re looking for anything serious. 
“It’s okay if you want to.” 
“I shouldn’t want to,” You say. It feels like you’re trying to convince yourself more than anything. You look to Camille for an answer, but she just pats your hand. “Right? I’m never gonna see him again, so I shouldn’t get attached.” 
“You don’t know that for sure, do you?” 
“I guess not. It feels scary, though. Opening yourself up to something when you don't know what’ll happen.” 
Camille hums, a placating, even comforting sound to soothe your worries. She’s always been pretty good at getting you to see the brighter side in things. “There’s fun in that too. Being spontaneous, surprising yourself. You never know, Lando could be just the thing you need, the one you didn’t know you were looking for. And if not, you don’t have to see him again. A win-win, I’d say.” 
She leaves you alone to your thoughts after that, left to ponder what exactly it is you want. It might be stupid and entirely over-optimistic of you, but Lando has already pulled you in. You’re not sure what it is about him. He makes you want more, want to know more. 
Whatever happens will happen, and if things don’t work out…well, Camille is right. You never have to see Lando again. 
His name flashes across your screen later in the night, right before you’re about to go to sleep. You’ve been texting back and forth all day, but this one is different. He’s video calling you right now. 
You stare at his name for longer than you should, finger hovering over the answer button a few beats before pressing it. His face pops into view once the call connects. Like you, he’s sitting in bed, leaned up against the headboard, cozied up in a soft looking jumper. He looks like he’s moments away from drifting off, but he called you, so he must want to talk. 
“Hi,” You say softly. 
“Hey, you.” He smiles, warm and sleepy and all squinty in a way that makes you want to crawl through the screen and tuck him into bed with a kiss to his forehead. “You must be tired.” 
“Eh, I’m alright. Why?” 
“‘Cause you’ve been running through my mind all day.” 
You let out a wildly unappealing snort of laughter at his poor attempt at a pick up line. “That’s terrible! Oh my god, that was awful, Lando, seriously.” 
“No?” His smile grows giddy, shoulders shaking with his chuckles. “Yeah, it was pretty bad, wasn’t it? Got you laughing though.” 
Conversation falls into the same easy nature as this morning, like you’ve known him for ages. He makes you laugh until your ribs hurt, smile until your cheeks feel the same. It still amazes you just how comfortable you feel around him, as someone who usually takes a while to warm up to people. 
Maybe you should take it as a sign. 
A jumble of muffle voices offscreen some time later makes Lando squint. “Hang on, I’ll be right back. Don’t hang up. ” He lets the phone drop onto the bed, checking once to make sure you’re still there before disappearing from sight. 
You hear his footsteps fade, then more voices you can’t quite make out. Someone laughs off in the distance, and then he’s back, resituating himself with the remnants of an amused grin on his lips. 
“Everything okay?” 
“My mates are yelling at me to turn off the light, so I’d better go,” He sighs goodnaturedly, lips turning down into a frown. Then he yawns widely, and you realize how late it’s gotten since you’ve picked up his call. Losing track of time when you’re talking to Lando seems to be a recurring theme. “I’m glad you’re coming tomorrow.” 
Your breath catches a little in your chest, both at his words and the way he’s looking at you through the screen as he says it, nothing but genuine. “Me too.” 
You’re starting to think this whole try not to get attached thing is going to be much harder than you thought. 
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seosracha · 6 months
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HEART DEFENDER──────
౨ৎ⸻niki x fem!reader
⸻ synopsis, Nishimura Riki was truly and honestly, your sworn enemy, and everyone knew. You two shared lots of things, a friend group, academic rivalry, and most importantly school popularity. Receiving tons of confessions and notes on the daily from your fanboys and fangirls was nothing new. So you can't help but be shocked when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend for that same reason.
genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, highschool au
pairing: popular-footballplayer!niki x popular-fem!reader
wordcount: 11.5k !
tags: underage drinking, foul language/swearing, niki is an asshole, own characters included, y/n and niki are unrealistically popular but bare with me pls, jay is called a pervert😭, kissing
authors note! this was written for my beautiful babygirl , and it was also her idea so props to my pookie yall!!!😛 also no proof read so sorry for any errors!!
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A GENTLE HEAT falls onto the silk bed sheets, as a flickering blue light washes over the room, a sound waking you up from the dreamy state. You still had a hard time settling into the new reality that eloped you just a few days back. The summer was over, and so we’re all the exciting things you hadn’t been able to do. 
Although you didn’t mind, it brought you comfort to keep your body and mind active. You don’t like to mull over the fact that something is over, because that never brought it back, choosing to focus on every minute that was yet to come. 
Maybe that was exactly the reason you’ve become so popular amongst the male population of Alpine High-school, students swooning over your exquisite beauty, tall, well proportioned figure and beautiful mind. Some looks were only hungry for popularity and full of lust, but amongst all, you also found people who truly wanted to know you, and find out what was underneath the pretty shell. 
Some would call it cliche, to only stick around people who held the same status as you, or shared a similar popularity rank, but you truly never intended for that. Having two of the most popular students in one team, automatically makes the entirety of the group more desirable and unattainable. You never had control over any of these things, but you’d also be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel even more special. 
Your phone vibrates, Song Eunseok’s name displayed on the screen, messages filling up your home screen every second. You smile lightly and press one of them to shoot him a quick reply, preventing him from spamming you with keyboard smashes. 
Song Eunseok was one of your best-friends. He was there when others weren’t, and he was always the one to help you endure any pain in life. He was like a bandaid, keeping you safe from any infectious disease but also helping ease the pain, even if it didn’t feel like it at first. The affection in his tone, his words glowing with secrecy and honesty every time he spoke to you, that’s exactly what made him so notable to your heart. 
Kim Hana was also one of those people to you. Eunseok was good to you, but he’d never be able to substitute for a girl best-friend. You never treated Hana as a second option though. She wasn’t even a month older than you, but wiser than most. Hana always knew what to say or do, she was like a compass to you. You knew you could never lose her, or else you wouldn’t know which direction to walk towards. Still, behind the smart and intellectual facade, was a joyful and bright girl, who had the most infectious laugh you knew. Her smile was adorable and words of affection- comforting. 
Park Sunghoon was also a member of your clique, recruited by Jake who swam alongside him on the school’s swimming team. You’ve never been really close to him, he was more of a friend to you when others were around. That didn’t mean you didn’t care for him though. Sunghoon was different, he was very secretive and smart. He didn’t ever try, but always succeeded. He wasn’t flashy about it either, keeping most of his success to himself. 
Jake, who recruited Sunghoon, used to be your best-friend. You grew up with him, just like in every childhood best-friends movie, the two of you did everything together. Just like you, he moved out of his home country in his early years, which was one of the many things you had in common and could empathize about. You decided to go to the same highschool, following the promise you made in 4th grade; that you’ll always stick together. The reciprocation brought you a feeling of comfort and safety, at first you didn’t mind when he started getting closer with Nishimura Riki because you trusted him. You trusted him enough, and turned a blind eye enough until your once best friend wasn’t yours anymore. 
You tried to ignore the low pain it gave you, small weebs formed in your mind as you tried to justify Jake’s behavior, arguing that he still speaks to you so kindly. You were still in the same group together, spending most of your days together and laughing sweetly at the smallest things. But instead of calling you, he’d call Niki, instead of hanging out with you on the weekends, he’d hang out with Niki and instead of inviting you as his plus one to events, he’d invite Niki. 
That’s exactly why you hated Nishimura Riki, the last member of the seemingly ‘popular kid’ clique you formed. 
Niki was equally attractive and popular as you. He embodied a typical, bookish bad-boy character, the smitten look on his face winning girls hearts over every time. He was also a member of the football team, already earning a full ride scholarship for his sports successes. He was already an intelligent boy, but a free entry to college was nothing he’d deny. He was vastly athletic, but always dreamed of going to university. Niki may not have looked the part, but he truly was much more ambitious than many would guess. 
He didn’t have many reasons to hate you, but the sole fact that you were unbeatable, the first rank in school always alongside your name. He always stood proudly next to you on class president election day, but always ended up getting hurt when once again, you were chosen. Everyone loved you and even though he had his fair share of fans, he could never compare. 
So the satisfaction that taking away your best-friend from you brought him, was enough to console his damaged pride. It was enough to compensate for his stolen spotlight. 
You both had reasons to hate each other, and never even considered talking it out, even if you shared a friend group. Passive aggressive comments, and sarcastic remarks were enough to satisfy yours and Niki’s mind. 
___________
Niki, with his fair share of popularity, couldn’t get away from constant love letters clogging up his locker, or girls' heartfelt love confessions. With the face of an angel and skills of a child prodigy, it was inevitable in some way. Those same girls were the reason for his incredibly and annoyingly large ego. 
“Niki!” the brunette caught his attention with her squeaky and high pitched voice. 
He turned around to catch a glimpse at her, only to find her with a pink glittery box in hand. Niki could sense another thought out, insanely touching confession coming his way. 
“Do I know you?” he asked, trying his best to not make a rude face at the girl. At the end of the day he was the it-boy at his high-school, and had an image to upkeep. 
“You could get to know me. We have chemistry together!” she replied happily, completely neglecting the fact that his reply itself was a bit rude to begin with. 
“Is that supposed to be some sort of pickup line?” Niki chuckled, running a hand through his hair as his shoulder fell to his right. He leaned on the lockers trying to remember the girl he was speaking to. 
She pulls at the fabric of his blazer, a frisky look on her face “It could be if you want it to be” 
He felt his body tensing up, a wave of uncomfort speeding through his veins. He was used to girls shoving themselves onto him, but why couldn’t he be viewed as an equal to them? Just because he has stolen many women's hearts, didn’t mean he didn’t want to be treated with dignity and respect. 
He could feel a bead of sweat trickle down his spine as the unknown girl pushed her body closer and closer. His white shirt started to suffocate him, feeling the box she had in her hands press against his stomach. 
He could barely read the name Oh Jia off the girl's name tag, before backing away, making her stumble a little bit. 
“Don’t you think you’re getting a little too comfortable, Jia?” he asked. 
She took a deep breath. She thinks of the many nights she’d seen the boy infront of her standing proudly with a confident smile as he pulls her closer to his body. She is taken aback by the difference, wondering how she could've gotten so easily deceived by her own head to fall for such a fabricated version of Nishimura Riki, She had swooned over the cover, just like many girls before and after her. 
This was one of the many daily confessions the boy would receive. Some happened to be much more friendly and cute, even making Niki’s heart a little warmer. Some students just liked to test his limits, see how easy he can actually be. He hated that. He hated not being treated like a human being but rather a school attraction they all got to take turns trying out. 
Although you were sworn enemies, the similarity between yours and Niki’s experience love wise, was undeniable. 
“What is my pretty girl doing all alone? Where did all your friends go?” Hyunsik, a member of the student council, asked with a flirtatious tone stopping you from getting to your history class. 
“Yours?” you questioned with a calm voice, having an idea of who Hyunsik was. 
He smiled, wondering why you always played so hard to get. He was gorgeous, so what was your problem to just give into his warm embrace? 
“Don’t be like that” he answered, using his hand to push a strand of  loose hair behind your ear. 
You felt so incredibly uncomfortable. You had known Hyunsik for some time now, as the class president you did have to consult on important issues with him. 
“What do you mean, Hyunsik?” you asked, a wonky smile on your face as you tried to give the boy a sign that you weren't interested in him. 
“You know what I mean. C'mon Y/n, you don’t have to play so hard to get. We could have fun, I’d make you feel so good and happy” he confessed, his stance radiating confidence which was unbreakable. 
He was attractive, but his personality and ego completely erased any chances of scoring a date with you or many other girls. 
“I’m interested in someone else” you answered, backing away from him. 
“You always say that, yet you're still single” he said, offended by your relectuance. 
“I don’t think that’s any of your business though, Hyunsik. I have to go now” you said, not letting him say anything else. 
This wasn't the first time boy’s just assumed you’d be easy like that. Just like Niki, you hated it. You didn't mind the confessions, as long as they were kept cute and respectful. You hated being mean, and these situations just forced it out of you. 
__________ 
“Why don’t we call Minjun over here, you’ve been hanging out with him a lot, right?” Hana asked, turning to you. She shuffles to grab her phone, but you stop her. 
Niki rolled his eyes at her words, not in the mood to stubbornly try to keep a civil conversation with Minjun. Kim Minjun was a member of the football team, and the number two placeholder in school. He really was handsome- slim face and a defined jawline, dark thick hair, eyebrows not touched once but seemingly shaped by Aphrodite herself, captivating siren eyes that made you fear eye contact, and lastly plump cherry lips. You could go on about Minjun’s beauty for days and not get bored of the topic. 
He notoriously fought with Niki for the team captain position, and although never achieved it, still managed to be disliked by Niki. They had a visible rivalry. While Niki tried to beat Minjun for second place, Minjun tried to beat Niki for the team captain spot. The passive aggressive remarks only made it worse, but for the sake of the team they kept, or at least tried to keep it civil. 
It reminded you of your friend group. You always tried your best to hide your deep rooted hatred for Niki around everyone, for the sake of their peace. The difference was that Niki never tried. He couldn’t bear a minute without making a sneaky and rude comment towards you. In some way it made you feel better about yourself, knowing that you're mature enough to not bother your friends with your private issues. 
“He’s probably with the team” you answered, and she pouted at your response.
“He wouldn’t want to sit with Miss Perfect here, anyways” Niki snickered, poking at his lunch uninterested in what he saw on the metal tray. The pork cutlet seemed awfully indigestible today. 
“I think you’re more so the problem” Hana defended, knowing you wouldn’t probably respond to him. 
“It’s not like Minjun is perfect, c'mon. He’s an annoying, selfious fuckboy” Jake said, in an attempt to clear Niki’s name. 
But why couldn’t he defend you? Did he really dislike you that much? 
“He really isn’t though” you responded, and Jake seemed taken aback by your change in demeanor. 
It almost looked like he felt entitled to say anything, but you had no right to respond to him unless you weren’t agreeing with him. Maybe that was what was left after your friendship of 10 years, the entitlement. 
“Of course you’d say that, because you probably want him like all his other fangirls” Niki smirked, and pushed away his tray. 
“Dude, leave it. Can we just have a peaceful lunch period for once?” Sunghoon spoke up, looking up from his English notes. 
He usually never said anything whenever these tense situations happened. Sunghoon kept quiet, listening in on the meaningless words leaving your mouths. 
“I’m gonna go” you rose from your chair, and picked up all your things. Hana tried to stop you, but her attempts were useless, as you gave her a small smile and left the table. 
“Well, I will too then” Niki announced trailing right after you. 
He walked towards you, a stupid look displayed on his face. You hated that you didn’t have any power over him, letting him treat you like this for no good reason. 
“If you want to continue telling me how awful Minjun is, I really suggest you leave it, cause I’m not going to change my mind” you turned to him, as he stopped next to you by the lockers. 
“I just want to get some books from my locker, can’t I?” he tilted his head, and smirked evilly when he saw your annoyed look. 
Another thing you hated was having a locker right next to his. Whoever assigned them, must truly despise you.  Or potentially pray for your downfall.
He just scoffed at your lack of interest, and started to rummage through his pocket for the small key to his locker. 
As soon as both of your locker doors opened, a swarm of notes and pink, red or purple little envelopes fell out. Some were cutely decorated, with adorable glittery stickers, some just a simple paper ripped out of the author's notebook. 
You two looked at each other confused. You knew Niki was popular, and Niki knew you were popular, but not to this extent. 
It wasn’t an issue, for a long time, but as comical as it sounded this was starting to get annoying pretty quickly. Sometimes the both of you wondered what made you so special, what made you stand out so much. Was it the academic success that no other student seemed to achieve yet? Maybe it was the physical tasks that you conquered without breaking a sweat? Or was it just your appearance that was unique among all? 
His mind was rushing, but one idea came out on top of the bubble of thoughts. 
______ 
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Niki” you laughed at his absurd idea, wondering if Jake is somewhere recording this secretly. 
Niki can’t yet tell if you’ll buy it or not. The silence sinks into his skin, as the imprisoning walls surrounding you seem to close on him. Did he really just say that out loud? 
“Listen, we can just pretend to un-hate each other or something, and then date. It’s all fake, obviously. Do you think I’d want someone like you to be my girlfriend?” he responds. “We can’t tell anyone though” 
“I don’t think that’s a good idea” you mumble, and he chuckles. 
“Oh please don’t tell me this is about Minjun?” 
You look at him annoyed. Why does he suddenly care so much about your relationship with Kim Minjun? 
 “And what if it is?” you roll your eyes, turning away from his tall figure. 
“He doesn’t care about you, Y/n. Can’t you just agree, we both get something out of it” he says, exasperated. 
He reaches for your small shoulder, turning your body in his direction. He holds you while silence embraces the both of you. The sun subtly shines through the small window of the equipment room, illuminating his face, a sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you. 
“What is in it for me?” you ask quietly, the moment between the two of you, making your heart beat faster. 
Niki softens at the concern in your tone. 
He knew you liked Minjun, everyone did, but this much? Did you really care for that douchebag? Did you lay on your bed at night, your thoughts always coming back to Kim Minjun? What did he do to steal your cold heart so easily? 
“An empty locker, that’s for sure” he lets go of you “And assholes like Hyunsik won’t annoy you anymore, isn’t that enough?” he adds, his tone laced with confidence. 
“You know about Hyunsik?” you ask curiously. 
He stifles a sharp inhale, realization hitting him. 
Did you think he cares? He doesn’t. He couldn’t care less. 
He tries to calm his unsteady nerves, preventing himself from saying anything that could damage his uninterested approach to your person even more. 
“Eunseok told me,” he answered quickly, his gaze turning to the small window. 
You never told Eunseok. 
You never told anyone cause this wasn’t something abnormal. Yes, maybe Hyunsik was a bit forward about it, pushing himself onto you, but you just forgot about it after some time. 
“Alright’ you clear your throat “Let’s do it” 
Niki feels an unfamiliar warmth in his heart, trying to stifle the excitement that took over his body when he heard your words. 
“But what about our friends, Niki? Do you seriously think Sunghoon or Jake are that stupid?” you ask 
It floods him again; the comfort of his name passing your lips, and he doesn’t know why. He’s never felt this way. 
“Hana is a hopeless romantic, she’ll believe anything if you slap a ‘boyfriend’ label on it. Eunseok and Sunghoon don't care anyway, and Jake? I’ll figure it out” he answers, his voice so calm “Everyone else will just believe it as long as we make it believable” he proceeds cautiously, putting emphasis on the ‘we’.  
“I don’t get not telling our friends, honestly” you murmured, looking around the room. 
He sighed “No offense to Hana, but she’s the biggest blabbermouth I know” he confesses. 
You agree internally, not wanting to admit it, too proud of your friendship with the girl. 
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow” he says after a moment of tranquility, leaving the room after he finishes his sentence. 
You watch him step out and leave you alone with all the thoughts and worries. 
______
And so he did pick you up. 
You wondered if Niki had cleaned up his car for you, remembering the mess last time you were in it. Probably not though. 
“Let’s go,” he said, keeping the door open for you. 
He grabbed your hand tightly, pulling through the crowd of students gathered in front of the building. Some had a stupid look on their face, wondering how the two of you could ever be dating, some didn’t even budge. 
Your chest swells with a torment of emotions, as you feel his warm, wrought hand grip yours. Pride, confusion, determination swarm through your veins, making a mess of your head. You press your knuckles to the warmth of your cheek, flustered by the looks you were receiving. 
Your eyes scan the whole building, trying to find Minjun, worried what he’d say when he finds out. You never wanted him to think you were just playing with him, and by the looks of it, that’s exactly what he was thinking when his eyes spotted yours. 
A sad look of disappointment decorated his face, as you passed by, holding Nishimura Riki’s hand so tightly. 
You screw your eyes shut, chest rising and falling rapidly. You want to tell him everything, you know you could. But there was a boundary you promised to not cross, for yours and Niki’s peace. 
“This is bullshit” Sunghoon raises his eyebrows, as the two of you appear in front of all your friends. 
“The assignment you wrote for my physics class was bullshit, and I didn’t say anything. This-” he says pointing to your intertwined hands “This is for real, the real deal” he adds proudly. 
How long has he been acting? 
“When did all of this happen?” Hana asks excitedly. 
You didn’t like agreeing with Niki, and even though it was sad to a degree, Hana really was gullible. 
You smile “We just started talking, I guess. It really happened naturally” 
How long have you been acting? 
“But weren’t you just fighting last week? And I thought you had a thing for Minjun?” Eunseok asked. He wasn’t supposed to care. 
“No, no, Minjun is just a friend” you answer after a moment. 
Niki was surprised at your lack of hesitation, no signs of nervousness. 
“Well congrats then. I’m happy for you guys” Jake smiled, and his acknowledgment meant the world to you. 
You couldn’t not care for him after all this time spent together. You wished you didn’t care about what he thought, what he was up to, because it was no longer your place to ask or wonder. 
“I hope Minjun doesn’t feel sad” Hana ponders, her soft heart melting for the boy. 
You laugh at her kindness, but deep down you know she’s right “I doubt. I think I made it clear to him that I’m not interested” you reply in an attempt to calm her nerves. 
“I hope so, he’s really a good guy” she mumbles, a look of frustration on her face. 
You wonder why. 
“He isn’t but whatever” Niki professes, a disgusted tone lacing his voice. 
Eunseok laughs “One day anniversary and he’s already jealous” 
You never expected them to be so gullible, to fall for such a fabricated lie, but here they were laughing and making jokes about the two of you. It was hard to lie to your friends, especially Eunseok and Hana, but something in your head kept convincing you that this was indeed a good idea. 
“You should’ve made a big reveal at the game” Hana acknowledges, a sweet smile on her face as she imagines herself in your position. “Our school would win, everyone cheering you on and then boom- you run up to Y/nnie and kiss her” she tells, a twinkle to her eyes. 
Niki laughs, and this time it seems genuine. He likes the thought of that, but can’t quite figure out why. Air is taken out of his lungs as he imagines carefully taking your jaw in one hand, and pressing a sweet kiss to your soft lips, as everyone cheers him on for leading the team to yet another victory. 
He can’t be thinking straight. 
“That’s a little bizarre don’t you think?” Sunghoon asks Hana, remembering watching something similar with the girl. 
Hana shakes her head, and he just chuckles at her persistence “I’m just giving him ideas, subtly” 
“Very subtle” Niki answers, and she winks at him. 
“Are we still on for the after party at yours?” Eunseok asks, turning his head towards Jake who seems to be totally out of it, as he hurriedly copies Sunghoon's chemistry homework. 
“Yeah, yeah. No matter if we win” he mumbles, devoted to a completely different world at the moment. 
A small smile forms on your face. You would definitely hold Niki tight, making sure no girl pulls him out of your grasp for a quick seven minutes in heaven. It’s all fake, though. Nothing more than just a pact between two sworn enemies who want a little more peace in their life. 
“Even if we lose, we still need to celebrate a good game” Niki smiles, and Eunseok smiles at his attitude. 
“With a captain like you my guy, we ain’t never losing” Eunseok winks at Niki, receiving a small laugh and bow from the boy. 
You felt guilty. This was the first time in a while when everything felt so gratifying and free amongst your friend group. With the constant fighting and teasing you never seemed to notice the charming dynamic between everyone. It felt like all along the both of you were the problem, and maybe your friends accepted this suspicious relationship so quickly, because it meant they got to experience moments like this once again. 
“What do these fucking hieroglifs say, I can’t decipher this shit” Jake grunts with frustration, as he pulls the notebook closer. 
Sunghoon laughs and tries to carefully explain every line of text to Jake. 
Maybe you were too focused on your own problems with Niki to notice that this is what could’ve been of your friend group. 
____
You and Niki seemed to get closer as time passed. 
The both of you didn’t even notice it, the barrier between you passing by like a breeze. It came all so naturally, and you never knew you’d have so much in common with the boy you swore you hated. 
You would accustom him to his practice sometimes, and he’d proudly show you off to all his teammates. The lines between faking it and being truthful have faded by now, confusing your heart a little. But just a little. Because at the end of the day it was fake. 
“I think it’s time you pay me back,” Niki said, a mischievous smile decorating his face. 
You looked at him with a confused expression “For what exactly?” 
He smiles, and brings his backpack to his chest, rummaging through it to find the key item. 
Niki was smart, very smart. He didn’t earn the number three rank for no reason, proudly representing the school on the pitch and in numerous academic competitions. Yet his mind couldn’t quite understand anything written in his physics textbook. He passed by fine, but it never satisfied him to cheat on his tests, and pay Sunghoon to do his homework for him. 
“Tutoring? Seriously? And what did you do to deserve it?” you asked, raising your eyebrow. 
He smiles widely “Well I haven’t seen any sappy men bothering you, so I think you owe me this one” 
“I haven’t seen any sappy girls bothering you either, so I thought we were even” you answer, not giving into his request just yet. 
You knew you’d do it. You did everything he asked you to do. 
“C’mon Y/n! I need your help, just this one time, please?” he pleaded, a pout on his face “I won’t be able to play in the game this week if I don’t get a good grade on this test” he adds in an attempt to convince you. 
You laugh at his desperation, and nod your head “Fine, but you owe me one” 
He nods hurriedly, and pulls out all the things you’ll need to give him the greatest tutoring session ever. 
“Imagine you’re driving a car” you said sketching a simple diagram “When you hit the brakes, what happens?” 
Niki furrowed his eyebrows, and you wondered how he couldn’t comprehend such a simple concept as Newton's laws. It was cute in a way. 
“Well I slow down, but that’s too obvious. This is probably a much more complex answer, isn’t it?” he pondered the question. 
“No Niki, it’s that simple” you laugh “That’s Newton's first law in action. An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an external force. When you hit the brakes, you apply force to the car, causing it to decelerate” 
His eyes lit up in understatement, as he tried to solve another question you threw at him. 
“Was it really that hard?” you asked him with a small smile, and he hesitated at first. 
His eyes glazed through the notebook, but soon enough he answered “Not really. It was much better when you explained it rather than Ms. Lee” 
“I’m glad” you answered “If it’s really that bad, you can ask me for help” 
“It really isn’t that bad though” Niki answered, with a chuckle. 
“Oh c’mon you don’t even understand Newton's laws, it is bad” you reply. 
“Okay you geek, I get it. But I thought I have to deserve your tutoring?” he questioned, a small smirk on his face. 
“You gotta help out a dumb bitch once in a while” he pretends to be offended at your words. 
Not so long ago, he’d probably blow up at you for those words. He’d probably make a scene, resulting in everyone being uncomfortable for a good two days. This time was different. You were different. 
“The way you talk to me- it’s unlike you” you inquire suddenly, after a moment of calming silence. 
“How come?” Niki asks, not raising his gaze from the workbook. 
“Your voice is softer” you smile, and he can’t help but reciprocate. 
It brings him a weird comfort. The words passing by your lips, make his heart warmer, a trickling yet pleasing feeling in his spine. He can’t quite pinpoint the moment you touched his mind so intimately, erasing any barrier between you and him. Being with you felt so easy. It feels so easy, that he even forgets why he hated you in the first place. 
“Are you coming to my game?” he asked, a new found passion for physics coursing through his veins as he solves yet another problem with ease. 
You looked at him adoringly “Obviously” 
He chuckled “I’m glad” he looked up at you “But I thought you hated football” 
Well you did. You hated it because Niki played it. But even if he didn't ask you, you’d come. 
“I just don't understand it, that’s all” you gave him a half smile, looking through his textbook for any more challenging questions for Niki to solve. 
“You don't have to be there if you don't want to, Y/n” 
You seem to enjoy the way your name slips his lips so delicately. 
“No no, I want to be there for you, and I think It’d be sus if I didn't show up. Plus, Hana has some new crush and wants to see him play” you chuckle, and so does Niki, noting that the girl falls in love with anyone and everybody. 
“Is it Jay? I’ve seen them mingling before” he questions and you shake your head. 
“Jay was last month, old news. I think his name is Sungchan? Or Seunghan, I don't know” you ponder the question, going back to that one conversation you had with the girl about her new love interest. 
The possibility that he’s also not the guy she likes now is very high-her heart swooning for any man that gives her the time of day. 
Hana was gorgeous and incredibly sweet. No wonder she had a new talking stage every week, no boy being able to handle her. 
“Sungchan. He’s a good guy. I can approve of him, definitely better than Jay” he recalls many situations including Jay, where the boy proved himself to be absolutely useless and weird. 
Maybe it was his team captain complex, but Niki seemed to notice many things that others didn't. His duty was to take care of his teammates, so catching onto the tiniest things was inevitable. 
“What’s wrong with Jay?” you question, and he laughs wondering if the words will even peer out of his mouth. 
“He’s like, fucking perverted” he laughs “Well maybe not that badly, but still, he’s just proper dodgy” 
You're shocked at his admission, and internally  glad your best-friend  got over him so quickly. 
Your conversation with Niki seemed to flow so easily. You never had to try hard, something always slipping off your tongue, his personality making it so easy. You never thought you’d have so much in common with Niki, so much to talk to him about. You were so fixated on something that was beyond his control, instead of pissing Jake off for being a horrible friend. 
____ 
“I need to go to the bathroom quickly before the game starts” Hana said hurriedly, her small figure rushing towards the bathroom, making you smile to yourself. 
You blush. You remember the brief mention Hana made, expressing the want for a more romantic expose of the relationship between you and Niki. You wonder if Niki remembers too. 
Usually you never cared for the highschool football games, skipping in order to study more or spend time with your best-friend. This time was different, you felt like a trophy to your oh-so-fake boyfriend, excited to see what comes after he scores a winning touchdown. 
“Can we talk?” Minjun’s voice takes you by surprise, making you stop in a halt. 
“Uh, sure” you reply, taken aback by the sudden serious tone and demeanor, knowing him from the bubbly personality and sweet voice. 
“I know you’re faking it” your heart sinks “Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to yourself? Seriously, Niki?” he asks, and you go completely silent, trying to figure out a reasonable answer to his accusations. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minjun,” you say after a moment of uncomfortable silence. 
A frown tugs at the corners of his mouth. He didn’t expect that reply. He doesn’t know what he really expected in the first place. 
“For whatever reason you are doing this, you could’ve just asked me. Why didn’t you ask me? I would’ve helped you, no matter how stupid it is” he kept going, and it felt like you were digging yourself deeper into this lie. 
He remembers standing in this same place, your hand hitting his arm playfully, your eyes lighting up at anything he said. In some way, he feels just as barren and vulnerable in your silence as he had that day. 
“Minjun, I think you should go join the rest of the team. They’re probably looking for you” you answered, wondering why Hana hasn’t come to save you by now. 
“I really liked you Y/n. Like really fucking liked you. I don’t know why you're doing this, especially why you’re helping out that asshole Niki” he added quietly, as Hana came up to the two of you. 
“Minjun!” she smiled at him, and he forced one himself “Fighting Minjunnie! I’m rooting for you! We both are!” she cheered. 
“Surely” he said, leaving the two of you. 
Hana turned to you confused with Minjun's sudden ignorance “Did you two fight or something?” she asked. 
“It’s nothing. I think he’s just stressed out” you replied calmly, leading the girl out to the bleachers. 
You tried to focus. You tried to be the perfect (fake) girlfriend for Niki, as he played one of his most important games, but Minjun’s words sunk so deep. They were all you could think about. 
You couldn't quite figure out why you didn't just admit it. Why didn't just tell him everything and end the bet with Niki? You wanted to so badly before. 
“Sungchan is playing like a bitch right now” Eunseok commented, disappointed with his friends performance. 
“Don't say that, Eunseok!” Hana slaps his forearm and he laughs at her anger. 
At least you knew she was still crushing on him, instead of Jay. 
“No seriously, what is going on with that man” Sunghoon said, squinting slightly, his eyes trailing behind Sungchans figure. 
Hana kept hushing them, begging for her friends to not speak so badly about her soon-to-be husband. You found it adorable, noting to ask Niki to set her up with him. 
“Our boy is doing so well though. Maybe he actually needed a girl in his life” Eunseok smiled at you. 
You felt a heat rush to your cheeks at his words, wondering if he actually performed any better this time. 
Maybe he was trying to show off in front of you? Or make you proud? 
“He’s been training like crazy” you say, and they keep hyping him up. 
“Jakey, are you okay?” Hana asked the boy sitting next to you, concerned when she noticed his tired face. 
He smiled “I’m fine, Hana. Don’t worry” he said fondly “Look Sungchan is waving at you” he pointed, the girl immediately turning her figure towards him to wave back. 
“Did you just see that? He waved at me! Sungchan waved at me!” Hana gleamed excitedly, Eunseok looking at her with disgust. 
“I can’t believe you like his bitchass” he half-smiled, shaking his head in a playful act of disbelief. 
“Aren't you two friends? Oh I’m so telling him about this” she replied, and he put his hands up. 
“Maybe your fantasy will come true” you inquire, and Hana’s mind races back to the moment she imagined a dreamy kiss on the field. 
“With the way he’s playing, I doubt there will be anything to celebrate” Jake said, and Hana hummed tiredly. 
“Can you guys leave him alone? He’s tired, okay?” she mused, and everyone nodded, done with teasing the girl. 
You can’t help but stare at Niki. Even with the heavy gear, he still manages to look good. When did he get so attractive? How come you’ve never noticed the pretty little mole on his chin, his gorgeous lips that begged for your touch, and eyes that grew whenever he talked about something he loves. He was right in front of you this whole time. 
You practically begged for Minjun’s attention just a couple weeks back, yet now you felt yourself fading away from the feelings for him. You can’t bring yourself to come up with any conclusion, or to bother with distractions, but why? Why was it so hard to just accept the truth as it was: you wanted Niki to want you. 
The game was nearing the end, and Niki could already smell the victory coming his way. He wanted to make you proud, he wanted to see your smile while you ran up to him, praises spewing from your mouth as he hugs you tightly. He hated that it was all fake, the realization dawning upon him; he wants you to want him. 
But he knows deep down that it’ll never be the two of you. 
A loud horn breaks your trail of thoughts, the audience screaming happily as Niki scores the winning touchdown. It was just like how you imagined, wondering if he’ll actually kiss you now. You know you wanted him to. 
He took off his helmet, his hair ruffled, beads of sweat falling down his face, but a wide smile when he spots you with a wide grin striding towards him. It’s just like he imagined. 
He doesn’t know what to do. Everyone is looking, and this is the moment he could victoriously hold you. It would make his ego grow, the perfect highschool popular kid image never dwindling, but what would you think of it? God what if you pushed him off of you in front of everyone. 
As much as he could prevent things from happening or predict anything, he couldn’t have known that you would be the one to initiate his deep rooted fantasy. He couldn’t have prepared himself for your pretty lips that pressed against him in a chaste, sweet kiss. You felt so good against him, and he couldn’t find himself pulling away. He never expected himself to enjoy such a fucking cliche moment- but here he was, wanting more and more. 
He wants to tell you everything in that moment- how he wanted this too, how he’d imagined your lips against his, and how he wants to kiss you everywhere. He knows he could. He’d even blame it on the slip of his unruly tongue. Yet there was a boundary he’d have to walk upon, a fear of losing you prevailing his selfishness. He knows he won’t. 
“Wh-” he tries, and fails to still his breathing. Niki hopes you can’t hear the tremble in his voice “How was it?” he asks, his voice unsteady. He doesn’t care though. 
“Your game or the kiss” you smile, and he wonders how you can be so calm about this. 
He smiles shyly “Both” 
“Stop” you laugh and he feels himself float above his body “You did great” 
“All for you” his response is amorous. 
Niki can’t help but laugh at your silence, watching you replay those words in your head. He pats your head, and throws his arm over your shoulder. 
How could any of this possibly be fake? 
“Good fucking game dude” Eunseok exclaimed, with a bright smile on his face, as everyone else decided to join you by Niki’s side. 
You looked around, a giddy and gleeful Hana, hugging a tired and sweaty Sungchan, as he smiled at her affection. Everyone had happily come down to congratulate the team, but Minjun was nowhere to be seen. Maybe you never intended to hurt him, but you so obviously did. 
“Jake you better fucking continue this energy at your disgustingly rich mansion” Sunghoon warned, and Jake smiled at his words. 
“You don’t have to worry about that” he replied contentedly, and you were glad to see him like this. 
Jake was rich. Like really fucking rich. To the point that he was offended when ‘eat the rich’ was trending, defending that he didn’t choose this life. His mansion in the hills was the go to spot for summer and any other party.
 But then again, it’s not like he didn’t have people to clean up after everything goes silent. 
_____ 
“Y/n!” you turned, your eyes meeting Wonbin’s, as you entered the kitchen you knew better than anyone present. 
You smiled, as the boy moved in your direction holding a red solo cup. 
Wonbin was your designated drink mixer and party buddy for whatever event hosted by whoever. You wouldn't call him a close friend, rather a person you’d talk to only on a special occasion. 
“Where your boyfriend at?” he asked with a grin, making you chuckle. 
The word didn't make your heart feel weird anymore. It felt so natural, normal, and sometimes you’d even forget it was all fake. For the past couple of weeks you’ve learned to forget easily, not wanting to pick apart Niki’s actions to maybe notice a pattern. You didn’t want to accidentally misinterpret. 
“Probably playing some stupid game in the living room” you sighed, hoping to get a little more out of him this time. 
You knew that the fake relationship was coming to an end, it already had gone on for way too long. 
“Mhm” Wonbin hummed, resting his body on the kitchen counter “It’s fake isn’t it?” he asked, taking you by surprise. 
You had absolutely no idea what to say. Wonbin really wasn't a part of any friend group you knew or were in, so what was the shame in telling him the truth? But it’d hurt your pride too much to say the truth out loud. 
You avoided eye contact, not knowing what reply would secure your safety and not damage your pride. Your silence made Wonbin laugh “C’mon, you can tell me” 
“It’s so embarrassing” you admit, and he shakes his head. 
“Not really. There’s plenty of girls who dream of this whole fake dating type of shit” he defended, and it made you smile lightly. 
He was right. There were girls out there who fantasized about a fake relationship, and there definitely were also girls who dream about a relationship with Nishimura Riki. 
Even though you initially hated his guts, maybe you were lucky after all? 
“I just can't comprehend the fact you chose Niki out of all people to be your fake boyfriend” he chuckled, and took a sip of his own drink. 
“It was his idea, I promise” you replied, and Wonbin mouthed a ‘no fucking way’, unable to imagine Niki, the person who swore he hated everything about you, ask you to be his fake girlfriend. 
“People can be really annoying, and I guess we just had some things in common after all” you added, and he nodded, still trying to visualize the situation you described. 
In a way it felt good to tell someone. You had been hiding it for so long, the lies eating you alive. 
It had been so long that you didn't even know what had become of this initially fake relationship. The line had already been blurred a long time ago, and it was hard to move along it at this point. He had done so many things, in private, that you didn't know where you stood anymore. 
“I can tell you actually like him” Wonbin admitted, once again taking you by surprise “The way you talk about him, it’s different” 
“You act so smart and psychological, it’s so annoying” you huffed, and turned away from him, chugging the drink he had previously made for you. 
He laughed “The truth hurts, doesn't it?” 
“I don’t like Niki” you said, trying to sound as confident as you could, but Wonbin saw right through you anyway. 
He didn't want to continue the topic, knowing he had already exhausted your limits. You also knew that no matter what, admitting something like that out loud wouldn't be easy either. 
The built up hatred and anger you had for Niki, couldn't have just disappeared so easily after a couple conversations and hangouts. But it did. And it frustrated you so much. 
“You guys playing spin the bottle in the living room with us?” a red faced Hana asked, peeking her head into the kitchen slightly. 
“With us, meaning?” Wonbin asked, making Hana slightly stumble into the kitchen. 
She started putting down her fingers “Well me, obviously” she smiled “Sungchannie, thank god” she let out a steady, thankful breath “Some girls, Oh Jia, Lee Chae, I don’t really recognize the rest. Oh, and Eunseok, Yang Jungwon, Minjunnie and some others” she went on, her drunken state making the explanation much longer than it should've been. 
“No, no, no! Niki too! Y/n you need to come!” she exclaimed, eyes wide. She took your hand and pulled you with her. 
You looked at Wonbin pleadingly, and with a small smile he trailed right behind the two of you. He always claimed to be ‘too old’ for those type of games, but always ended up staying till the end of any. 
Park Wonbin was truly full of shit. 
Your eyes met Niki’s as he sat in the circle, his back pressed against the couch. You looked at him, mouthing ‘what are you doing’ and he pointed to Oh Jia sitting across from him. 
You knew she liked him, and it definitely didn't make you happy. 
“I can see some couples here, yall into shit like this?” Jungwon asked, eyeing not only you and Niki, but Hana and Sungchan who seemed to have already made the news that went around school. 
You chuckled quietly and shook your head “It’s nothing that serious, just a stupid game” 
“It will be serious for you soon” Jia mumbled, her friend turning to her with a shit eating grin. 
Oh if they only knew how absolutely out of it they looked. What the fuck were they even talking about anyway. 
“I don’t think we should be playing this” you whispered to Niki, who previously patted down a seat for you next to himself. 
“Look how many people are playing, doubt me or you will get chosen” he smiled, and you nodded.
Still, isn't the sole fact you are even agreeing to participate weird? Shouldn’t you be mingling in a closet somewhere deep inside the house? God what was he thinking. This was so unbelievable, and you weren't surprised  that Wonbin had caught on. 
“Me first!” Hana cheered excitedly, as Eunseok had finally brought a bottle to play with. 
You looked over at Sungchan, who had a sad expression on his face. You could see his eyes praying on the bottle to land on him, his hands trembling with each spin. It was cute. 
The Gods above must have heard his prayers, the bottle landing on him with no doubt. 
He smiled and leaned into your bestfriend to plant a quick kiss on her lips. She pouted and grabbing his head, pushed for more. Maybe she was drunk, but you knew she’d remember this well. Although a witness, you’d hear about it for a long long time. 
“I’m guessing you don’t want to spin, Sungchan?” Eunseok chuckled, and the boy holding onto Hana, shook his head no. 
“Two players down so quickly” a boy with black hair, who you didn't recognize, commented. 
While Jungwon went in to spin, your eyes caught Minjun’s. You couldn't read him, his expression stone cold. He was either mad at you or didn't care. That’s the thing, you didn't know. 
“Stop looking at him” Niki whispered, cutting your moment with Minjun short. 
“I think he’s mad at me” you said, and Niki furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 
“Why?” he asked, eyeing Minjun down. 
“He figured it out, you know, figured us out” you replied, putting emphasis on the word ‘us’ “I didn't admit, obviously, and that’s why I think he’s mad. He’s convinced I played him on purpose” you added, and Niki’s gaze softened. 
“I’m sorry” he said quietly, his eyes falling onto his lap. 
You looked at him confused, “What are you talking about?” 
He finally looked over at you, his face displaying a half smile, that felt cold to you “I ruined your chances with Minjun. I guess I was only thinking about myself back then, so I’m saying sorry. I can talk to him when this is over” he answered, and you felt your heart break. 
He didn't like Minjun, you knew it very well. Minjun knew it too. But somehow he felt bad for the both of you. If only he knew how much you didn't care about Kim Minjun at this moment. How much you actually cared about the boy next to you. Maybe if he knew he wouldn't feel so sorry, you thought. 
“You don't have to be sorry, Niki. We both wanted this” you smiled, and squeezed his hand. 
“I can tell Niki really wants to go now” Sunghoon exclaimed, and hurried Niki to spin the bottle. 
The boy hesitated, looking over at you. You nodded for him to go ahead with a smile. God was this weird? You agreeing to your (fake) boyfriend playing fucking spin the bottle. Not only that , but playing with him. This was so stupid. 
He took the small soju bottle, and spinned it lightly. He prayed it would fall on you. 
Or one of his bros, no homo of course. 
The music was blaring, and you hoped that bottle could feel your intense stare, successfully landing on you. 
As much as luck was on Sungchan’s side today, he seemingly took all of it with him earlier. The bottle pointed straight at Oh Jia, the girl who was known for her little obsession with Niki. 
She looked at you with a disgusting smile, and moved her body towards Niki. He looked at you, and you didn't even know what to say. You couldn't tell him no, he wasn't yours after all. 
“Sorry, Y/n” she muttered, and you felt your blood boil at her annoying, high pitched voice. 
She moved even closer, but her actions were stopped with Niki moving the bottle's nozzle to point at you. 
He didn't even let you or Jia speak, eagerly going in to kiss your lips he missed so much. It hasn't even been 3 hours since you initiated the first one, but his lips starved for your touch. You could feel it. You could feel the desperation in his movements. The taste of his chapstick mixing in with the saliva, it was much more passionate than last time. 
“Payback for last time” he mumbled, pulling away, his voice unsteady. 
You looked at him dumbfounded. What the fuck did he just do? Was this another stunt to show off his cool, popular boy persona, cause it seemed just like that. But you couldn't blame him either, you started it. 
No matter what, it felt good, and you wondered how to get yourself to stop. 
“That’s cheating!” Jia’s friend exclaimed, crossing her arms. 
“The bottle is clearly on her, I don't know what you're talking about” Wonbin defended, and you smiled at him. 
Jia huffed, leaving the game along with her friend. 
“We’ll leave too” you said, watching them go upstairs. 
Jungwon sighed “I’m forced to kiss the boys now” 
You looked around, not a single woman in the circle that was initially full. 
You pulled Niki’s hand, taking him to an empty room. He felt confident at that moment, rehearsing his confession in his head. He was going to tell you. He was going to tell you, and it was going to be amazing. You’d listen to him in awe, and then agree to be his actual girlfriend. 
“I have something to tell you” he said, as you closed the door behind yourself. 
He sat down on the bed, and you stood in front of him “Me too” 
“You go first” he smiled, and you looked out the window, the words lingering at the tip of your tongue. 
You wanted to tell him how you actually felt. But you knew you couldn't. You were enemies, nothing more. 
“We should end this,” you said after a moment of silence. 
_____ 
Things had gone back to normal. 
You didn’t expect much from Niki, guessing he’d either be overly nice to you, expressing his thankfulness for helping him get rid of annoying fangirls, or go back to being annoying himself. 
But he was neither. He didn’t say anything. Just like he didn’t say anything that day, he had gone completely quiet ever since. Instead of teasing you, he ignored you. 
He ate lunch with the football team, and it hurt you to see him laugh purely with them. It even seemed like he had gotten along with Minjun, which confused you even further. They hated each other, but now? It seemed like they were just laughing at your misery, getting high off of seeing you like this. Was this just a huge plan to get you looking like a complete loser?
Maybe he should’ve been sorry that day, not only did you lose Minjun, but everyone of your fanboys at this school. That sounded awful, but it was partially true.
You two had only revealed the 'breakup' to your closest friends, not exactly reaching any agreement regarding the rest of the students. 
You could pretend to be mad at him in front of your friends, but it hurt you so much. It hurt to see him behave like this towards you, knowing you did nothing wrong. You two were never real, so why was he so different so suddenly. You just hoped that it was a performance for your friends to make it more believable, but as days went by, you started to doubt it. 
“This is a sign that I shouldn’t regret not dating Hana,” Sunghoon chuckled, looking over at the table Niki was seemingly having more fun at. He never laughed like this with all of you. 
Was it all for show?
“Fuck off” you mumbled, looking down at your lunch, which was vastly unappetising today. 
“It’s not your fault, Y/n, don’t worry. For all I know, it was probably his fault anyways” Jake said, which made you suddenly look up from your food for the first time in a while. 
“You defending me?” you chuckled, and he shrugged. 
You looked over at Niki once again, attempting to catch him looking at you too. 
But he can’t. He can’t bear to look at you. He can only think about the dark heat of that room, your words ringing in his ears. Resisting the searing force that wanted, more than anything, to try and tell you again. 
“God, this is so annoying!” Hana exclaimed “Y/nnie didn’t do anything, and he’s acting like a pussy all of a sudden” 
She pouted, a weird vibe circulating all of you today. It felt like you were mourning him in some way. 
You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, a text message from Minjun lighting up your homescreen. It was ironic, a picture of you and Niki on your lock screen, a message from Minjun decorating it. 
Minjun: Can we talk? 
You thought about replying, the scenarios of him playing a stupid prank on you along with Niki replaying in your mind. Nevertheless, you texted back a short confirmation, and locked your phone. 
You could feel his eyes on you, as you set your phone down on the table. 
“What did you want to talk about?” you asked, your voice unsure of the situation. 
It felt familiar, meeting in the equipment room, but this time instead of Niki who had the prettiest face out there, it was Kim Minjun.
“I knew it was fake” he said, and you felt a heat rise to your cheeks. 
You looked away from him, your eyes landing on the window. The sky was gray, the sun no longer shining in through it. 
“I don’t want to talk about this again, Minjun,” you sighed, tired of the topic already. Especially tired of talking about it with him. 
“No that’s not the point” he stopped you from leaving, you turned towards him once again. 
“Then what is it Minjun? Did Niki tell you all about it? Did he tell you how stupid I was to fall for him, even though it was all fake? Did you get me to come here only so you could make fun of me for being so naive? Is that what it is?” you blurted out. You had suddenly lost control over your words, your response coming out much harsher than you intended. 
“What are you talking about? Do you seriously think I’m plotting behind your back with Niki?” he asked hurriedly. 
Now that he said it, out loud, it sounded so stupid. You knew Niki long enough to know he hates Minjun more than he has ever hated you, and would never ever make any deal with him.
“Maybe” you huffed, turning from him “I don’t know Minjun. Can you just say it already?” 
He sat down on the chair in the far right corner, his hand signaling for you to come closer, patting down the chair next to him. 
“I guess I did sort of figure it out, the fact that what you and Niki had was fake. But he told me about it himself recently. He also said you didn’t intend to hurt me, and that he forced you to do this whole fake dating thing” Minjun relayed the message, and you didn’t know Niki would remember your conversation during that stupid game. 
Niki was evidently mad at you for ending things with him, but encouraging Minjun to try with you once again? That was what pissed you off the most, you couldn’t figure him out in any possible way. One day you can’t figure out the actual intention behind his words, exchanging sweet words and kisses, and the other, going back to complete strangers. Not even enemies, strangers. 
“He really said that?” you asked, and Minjun nodded “I really didn’t want to hurt you Minjun. I’m sorry for leading you on, in some way. I should’ve never agreed to it in the first place” you add, avoiding eye contact with the boy. 
You hear him chuckle, and with a furrow to your eyebrows you look up at him. 
He smiles “It’s not your fault I already know that much. I shouldn’t have blown up on you before the match like that anyways. It truly is none of my business who you hang out with” he assured, and it made you feel a little better. 
“I know, but I just hope you can still speak to me comfortably after this” you gave him a small smile, still unsure of your situation with him. 
“I’m not going to try and get with you again though, don't worry” he said calmly, and although you knew it, it still felt weird to hear. 
You chuckled “Not to sound selfish, but why? Am I not cute anymore?” you pouted sarcastically, and he laughed. 
“I can see you like him, like a lot. I even felt stupid for saying those things to you, cause you made it so believable at the party. The way you look at him, the way you speak to him, that’s not fake. All of it is real, and I wouldn’t want to stand in the middle of that” he answered, and you felt your heart skip a beat. 
And you thought you were good at hiding it. 
“Niki doesn’t feel the same though” you gave him a sad smile, fiddling with the material of your sweater. 
“You think so?” he asks, but it doesn't necessarily sound like a question. 
You hum in agreement, and he chuckles lightly “The same goes for him. Trust me it’s real. I can see it, hear it and feel it. The way his voice was so sad yet hopeful when he spoke to me about you, I know he likes you. Niki is just really stubborn, and he’d rather live in misery and not tell anyone instead of just admitting his feelings to you, or honestly anyone else” he explains, and you feel your heart start to beat faster. 
Was he right? Did Niki like you? Or did Minjun have a terrible judge of character and all this way a complete bullshit.
“What should I do then? Gosh this is so annoying” you sighed, combing your fingers through your hair. 
“Tell him? What else is there to do? If I’m wrong, which I’m not” he smiled proudly “-and he doesn’t like you, I owe you big time” he offered. 
“I don’t know if I should take that risk, though” you said, and he rolled his eyes playfully. 
“Do you really want it to be like this for the rest of highschool? God, if he doesn’t like you, you’ll just find someone better” 
Easier said than done. 
But maybe he was right. At the end of the day you had nothing to lose, so why not just tell him?
“Fine” you grumble, and he laughs, taking your hand to pull you out of the room, before any teacher finds you. 
_____
You had left a note in his locker the next day, too scared to face him yourself. 
You waited, hiding your body behind the huge column, peeking to see if he had come to grab something from his locker already.
You felt like one of his fangirls. Giggling to yourself, as you awaited the arrival of your mighty savior, Nishimura Riki, hoping you are the one he picks. Hoping that he reads your note, and whispers an ‘I like you too’ rosy cheeked, hot breath and all. 
How did you get like this? You curse yourself for letting something so seemingly small, so innocent, writhe under your skin and possess your mind. 
You didn’t catch it, lost in your mind, envisioning the numerous scenarios that could occur after he receives your note. 
He sighs with annoyance, a note filling his locker, it had been so long since he received one, it felt unfamiliar. Niki was frustrated, hoping that the notes weren’t making a sudden comeback. 
He opens it, curious as to what it may be. He couldn’t help it, wanting to remind himself of the feeling reading confessions like this brought him. But what he didn’t expect was to see your name written on it. 
He thought it may have been a prank, a stupid way to get you back together made up by your dear friends, but it wasn’t. This was your handwriting, the same one that wrote all his physics notes and study guides. 
‘Niki, it’s Y/n. This is weird isn’t it? Like me writing notes to you. I hope you don’t see the pink envelope, and throw it out like you always do. But I’ll know if you do, anyways. Well first of all I wanted to apologize. I don’t even know what for, so this may be stupid, but I feel like I should. You looked so sad, and I know it’s because of me. So I’m sorry, Niki. If I did something wrong, something to hurt you, please tell me! Anyways, I wanted to tell you something. I like you Nishimura Riki. I’ve liked you for a long, long time now, but I myself didn’t know it just yet. But I’m saying it now, and I'm very much sure of it. I guess it took some stupid physics tutoring, geeky Wonbin and finally Minjun whom you hate so much for me to realize. God, maybe I shouldn’t talk about him in a note where I confess to you? Forget it. I didn’t kiss you that day to show off, I kissed you because I really freaking wanted to. And it felt so good when I did. So please don’t think I ended things with you that day because you kissed me, no, not at all. I guess I just couldn’t stand this relationship being fake, because to me, all the things I did were real. You don’t have to reciprocate, or even say anything, I just wanted you to know. And I would hope you feel the same, but it’s okay if you don’t’ 
His mouth runs dry. 
It explodes in his chest all at once; how bad he wants to grab a fistfull of your blazer, stroke his fingers against your ivory jaw, and kiss you senseless. He would rub his thumb against your swollen lips, and tell you how much he likes you. 
He looks around, spotting your shoe slightly peeking out from behind the column a little ahead of the lockers. 
“Baek Y/n!” he shouts, and you're suddenly brought back to reality. 
Your mind had been rushing for so long, you didn’t even notice Niki walking up to his locker, and managing to even read the whole note. 
You slightly peek your head out, and catch his eyes already looking at you. He strides towards you quickly, and you can’t tell if he’s mad or happy. He holds the note in his hand tightly as he stands in front of you. 
“What is this?” he smirks, and you still can’t tell if he’s about to make fun of you or return your feelings. 
You shrug, looking away from him. 
“It’s cute. You even put those stickers we bought at the stationery store on it” he points out, chuckling, and grabs your hand so you can face him again. “What do you think I’ll say now?” he tilts his head, and you find it incredibly attractive. 
“I don’t know” you murmured, unsure of the situation you have gotten yourself into. 
“Let’s see” he scans the note again “I think I like you too” he smiles, and you don’t know if he’s fucking with you or not. 
“You think?” you ask, copying his action by tilting your head slightly. 
He laughs “Are you really going to make me say it?” 
You nod with a smile “Mmm” 
“Yes Y/n, I like you. I don’t think I like you, I definitely like you. I’ve also liked you for a long time, but I didn’t want to admit it because I knew you probably didn’t. And that day, when you ended things, I wanted to tell you. But I’m glad you did it, even if I had to wait a little longer. That fake relationship was fucking with my head big time” he answers, and you feel stupid for not letting him speak first that day. You could’ve avoided this whole misunderstanding. 
But things happen for a reason. 
“Are you being for real?” you ask, and he chuckles. 
He grabs your shoulders “Very real” 
You pull him closer, tightly embracing his body. He smiles, the familiar scent hitting his nose. Niki’s cheeks are glowing red, and he can’t hide his toothy smile. 
“So would you want to be my girlfriend, like my real girlfriend” he asks, his voice muffled by the material of your sweater. 
You laugh lightly at his tone “I don’t know…. You tell me” you tease, and he pulls away to look at you with a small pout. 
“Cmon, just tell me” he pleads. 
“Yes Niki, I want to be your real girlfriend” you answer, emphasizing the word ‘real’. 
Now you could finally enjoy him, and by the way your heart beat, this time you were certain it was real. 
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renthony · 2 months
Text
In which I'm angry about intersexism from trans people. Again.
"AFABs don't experience [thing experienced by intersex people of all assigned genders]!" is getting really fucking old. People re-inventing the sex and gender binary through their weird fucking fixation on "are you AMAB or AFAB? Are you TMA or TME?" is exhausting.
I'm tired of existing in trans spaces as a trans person, only to realize how actively hostile those spaces are to intersex people. I don't bother to go to the local trans support group, because my experiences there when I first tried to attend were fucking rancid. Trans people of all assigned sexes and all genders act like I don't belong there, and I hit my limit on that shit real fast. It's exhausting, it's alienating, and it's fucking miserable!
Trans people, you have got to fucking stop acting like intersex people don't exist. You have got to fucking stop acting like you own the concept of sex and gender based violence. You have got to fucking stop acting like transfem and transmasc are a set, incorruptible binary. You have got to fucking stop acting like your fucking bullshit in-fighting isn't affecting people who aren't you.
I'm tired of intersex people discussing our own experiences only to get shit all over by perisex trans people who want to put everyone in a binary.
I'm tired of watching intersex people get treated like shit by terfs and transphobes, only for perisex trans people to accuse us of "appropriating trans struggle" when we talk about it.
I'm tired of talking about my experiences as an intersex trans person only to get constantly hit with endless variations on "shut up, theyfab" or "um, you're TME."
I'm tired of talking to my transfem friends and partners, us relating to each other on our similar experience, and then having random other trans people on the internet decide that, actually, I'm a raging transmisogynist who doesn't value trans women and is trying to "appropriate" their struggle. Never mind how many of my own experiences I've been able to articulate thanks to the support of trans women in my life.
Perisex trans people, do better. Y'all fucking suck! Y'all fucking treat intersex people like total shit! Fuck you for using us as rhetorical devices against transphobes and then ignoring our actual needs and struggles!
I go outside and people call me a tranny with a freak ugly beard. I get targeted by all the same bathroom bills and public policy trying to force trans people out of the public. I get people asking me if I have a dick. I get people aggressively calling me "sir" in public. I started getting called a "he-she" when I was a child. When I started developing breasts, a family member told me they weren't "real titties, just extra fat." I have had total strangers tell me I "look like a fat man" when I got upset at being misgendered. I get "helpful advice" from strangers about how to shave "properly," even though I didn't fucking ask, nor do I intend to shave my beard. I've had people tell me I have "tranny feet" and tell me to "try the drag queen shoe store" when I talk about how hard it is to find women's shoes that fit me. I have been the subject of nasty rumors about what's between my legs and why I "try to look like a woman." I'm not a woman, mind you, but I still get treated as a "wrong woman" by society.
But when I talk about all these things? When I seek support? Trans people of all genders call me a TME theyfab who is appropriating transfem struggles.
I still don't understand how I'm the one "appropriating" when it's the outside world calling me a tranny he-she freak.
But whatever. I guess I just have to accept that intersex people are subhuman to perisex people, even the trans ones. 🤷‍♂️
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street-smarts00 · 3 months
Text
Weirdest Place
Spencer Reid x gen neutral!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary: The team finds out you and Spencer have been dating during a night out.
WC: 1.1k
A/N: this is yet another fic based on an episode of friends, specifically a scene from the blackout episode but i added a fun twist lol
Tags: conversations about sex but not smut, established relationship between r & reid, consumption of alcohol
After the team was finished at the BAU they all went out to a local bar for drinks. As the night went on JJ and Hotch left to be at home with their kids. With their boss gone and the tipsiness from their drinks, the topic of conversation got more and more inappropriate.
“A boat?” Rossi asked
“Yes,” Derek confirmed
“A boat?” Emily spoke this time.
“Why don’t you believe me?” Derek asked, slightly offended.
Emily raised her hands in defense, “It’s not that we don’t believe you.”
“It just seemed like your weirdest place would be a bit more adventurous based on how you brought it up,” Rossi voiced.
Derek furrowed his eyebrows, “and a boat isn’t adventurous?”
“No it is,” Penelope chuckled before reaching for her drink. Of course, she’d already heard about Derek’s nautical escapades.
Derek directed his attention back to Emily, “And what about you? What’s your weirdest place?”
She leaned back in her seat with a tinge of embarrassment she tried to hide with smugness. “That’s classified,”
Rossi and Derek cringed at Emily’s diversion.
“Oh god,” Rossi chuckled before taking a sip of his drink.
“Do I even wanna know?” Derek asked half joking.
Emily shrugged instead of answering. Derek decided he was better off not pushing Emily to share her story. He then brought his attention to the man across from him.
“What about you, pretty boy?”
Spencer’s head darted to him with raised eyebrows. “Me?”
“You got a weirdest place?”
“I- um.”
His ears started to turn a shade of crimson and he stuttered on his words, or lack thereof since he was caught off guard.
“It’s probably like a library or something,” Rossi jokes, earning a bright laugh from Derek.
Penelope set her drink down, “don’t make him say it if he doesn’t- “
“Actually it was.”
Everyone froze and turned to Spencer.
Emily was the first to speak, “What?”
Spencer shifted in his seat while the courage he had before started to dwindle. His face was now officially turning red.
“Me and um- someone were at the library because I was showing her it’s Edgar Allen Poe collection. Then at some point we ended up in … um the second floor bathroom.”
“Oh my god,” Penelope giggled before placing her hand on her mouth in shock.
“I can’t believe I was right,” Rossi commented.
“I can’t believe Spencer Reid was getting freaky in a library,” Derek said with a humorous grin.
“Shut up,” Spencer squeaked in a high pitched voice.
He hoped the topic of conversation would quickly be dropped so he didn’t have to reveal too much about his love life. But he suspected that wouldn’t happen once you came back to the table.
You and Spencer had started dating a few months prior and wanted to keep things to yourselves. You both intended to figure out the beginning of your relationship without the eyes of your friends.
“The line for the bathroom was so long,” you complained as you approached the table and sat down next to Spencer. “What did I miss?”
“Oh we never heard Y/N’s place,” Penelope excitedly pointed out.
You looked at her confused, “What place?”
“I have no clue how we got here but they all started talking about the weirdest places they’ve had sex,” Emily explained.
“Wow. Well, when I’m done I need to hear all of yours,” you pointed your glass in a motion towards all of them before drinking the last sip.
“I usually don’t venture outside the bedroom but out of the few times I have I think there’s two tied for first place.”
“What’s one of them?”
“Library.”
Silence fell over the group. Spencer’s stomach dropped to the floor at your answer. His face turned cherry red and his eyes remained frozen on the table in front of him.
You on the other hand were baffled at the reaction from your friends.
“What?”
While your eyes scanned the group you were met with relatively neutral expressions that didn’t match the growing tension in the air. All of them looked as if they wanted to say something, but not one of them was ready to speak.
Embarrassment and regret were creeping their way towards you in silence. Your body tensed up and you folded your arms in front of you.
“Come on guys, it's not that weird. It’s not like we were in an aisle, we were in the bathroom,” you tried to defend yourself.
That sentence seemed to spark something in the group. Their body language started to relax but still had a bit of hesitation. They all knew at this point, but they wanted you to confirm it.
“What floor?”
You followed the voice to Emily “Excuse me?”
“What floor was the bathroom on?”
You couldn’t wrap your head around her question.
“Why does that matter?”
“It does, which floor?” Penelope questioned this time.
“Second I think,” you hesitated, still confused.
“Oh my god!” Penelope squealed. “You guys are sleeping together?”
With your eyes wide, face hot, and heart pounding, you stared at her. Trying to figure out how a story like this was one they already heard. You forgot until now that they were already playing this game before you got back.
Turning to the side you playfully smacked Spencer’s arm. “You told them that?”
He gaped at you and grabbed his arm. Face still red of course now accompanied with a crack in his voice. “I didn’t think you were gonna tell them. I thought you would have talked about the other time.”
“Why would I tell them that?” You said in a quieter tone.
“What other time?” Derek interrupted, filled with curiosity.
Rossi pipped in next, “you said two places were tied for weirdest, what’s the other place?”
You and Spencer went quiet. You looked at each other before returning your gaze to the group.
“I think this is a great time to get a refill,” you grabbed your glass and stood up. “Spencer, coming with?”
He quickly scrambled to stand up, “Absolutely.”
The two of you made your way to the bar as your friends all started murmuring.
“So, you didn’t want to tell them you had sex on a plane?” He asked with a slight smirk.
“No, of course not!” You squealed which earned a laugh from him.
“Eventually they would’ve found out we’re dating and I didn’t want them to figure out it was on the jet,” you explained.
“It’s not like any of them were there,” he said before leaning down to kiss your forehead.
“I still don’t wanna get fired.”
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