#even if you try your best
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the new normal
#artists on tumblr#it's just how it feels you know#trying to work and do your best#while the world is on fire#just don't look#keep your eyes on the job#but it's impossible#even if you close the blinders#you can feel the heat from the fire
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things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷
#personal#comics#tw abuse#digital art#personal comic#for the record no i don't think my mother loves me#but the idea that she did kept me in an awful situation for a very long time#the number of times people said “she's your mother. she's trying her best. of course she loves you” etc etc#but i don't think “love” and abuse are mutually exclusive#like even if someone DOES love you it doesn't mean it's not abuse and it doesn't mean it's ok#art tag
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double victory, was it? (it doesn't feel like one)
i saw a post about 3L!Grian meeting SL!Scar, but since SL!scar never died i figured he can't see any of the winners nor join them before the next session, and they appear before him as shadows. also, i thought 3L!Grian would be really happy to see a scenario where scar didnt die by his hand and actually won.
❀ bonus sketch ☘
#someone has probably done this before but i. dont. care. i wanted to draw scarian angst anyway#i dont do well with lore but my braincells are trying their best#trafficshipping#scarian#desertduo#trafficblr#life series#grian#goodtimeswithscar#gtws#3rd life smp#third life#secret life#watcher grian#grian fanart#goodtimeswithscar fanart#mcyt#my art#also sorry. i rewatched grians finale ep and howd he go from TRAITOR! to oh no i cant kill you :(#how could you FOLD that QUICKLY . im baffled lol#also i just had to say secret life red life scar skin. so beautiful#and lilacs and poppies? i know theyre scarian flowers at this point but to me its very grian#like wearing that on your outfit... sir sl!scar do you even remember what those flowers mean. are you yearning for something u dont remembe#im going insane#and here I THOUGHT im not going to get into any ships. im a clown#AU - Shadow Winners
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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2
#in anticipation of the incoming remake#i tried my best to imitate the SH font but#silent hill#silent hill 2#angela#angela orosco#theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game#for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001#and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela#not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this#actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too#“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well#maybe even old videogame tropes too#“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this#and in doing so showing it so much respect#there is no quick easy solution to this and you won't get one#then angela just leaves#and you never see her again#i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said#this isn't your problem to fix#this is where your part in this story ends#there's some strength in that
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Obsessed with the degrees to which james wilson is a messy bitch. Primps and preens himself whenever he realises his boy best friend is stalking / sabotaging / psychological-warfare-ing him. Slept with his terminal patient. Immedicable people pleaser. Chronic adulterer. Three ex wives. PROPOSED TO HIS GIRLFRIEND AT SOMEONE ELSE'S WEDDING? Fuck you doin in the oncology wing my boy. Psychiatric ward is on the left corner
#Soooooooooooo obsessed about him becos you see him and youre like “oh houses responsible friend who exasperatedly keeps him in check...”#Like resident pretty boy heart of gold heartthrob with an inclination to taking care of his poor tortured friend#Like as run of the mill as you can get#Then six seasons theyre stringing each other up in booby traps in their shared domestic apartment. Girl what the fuck#Like james wilson is not crazier than house i wld say but like 2me. Its not even something thats quantifiable#theyre so wildly unhinged in different ways#ITS SO CRAZY.................... BY BEING TOGETHER THEY MAKE THEMSELVES THE WORST AND BEST VERSIONS OF THEMSELVES ITS CRAZY#So many thots abt them........ going2 spend the rest of my life trying 2 get them down on paper#gregory house#james wilson#hilson#house md#johan being crazy about yaoi md
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So you're telling me that if Elphaba hadn't been able to turn Fiyero into a scarecrow, Dorothy would have found a beaten and nearly dead man tied to a post.
#sheesh poor girl#wizard of Oz? more like Everyone should pay Dorothy’s therapy session#idk I just had that thought and I was like woow no#poor girl#but still imagine you are in a strange very colorful world where the first thing u do is kill someone#and then you’re pushed to travel alone (just your dog) to roads u don’t know the dangers of#and suddenly u find a nearly dead man (or even dead!!) tied up#I’d be traumatized for life ngl#she’d def try to help Fiyero at best as she can#sorry if I can I’ll always bring my Fiyero and Dorothy father-daughter agenda#wicked movie#wicked musical#dorothy gale#fiyero tigelaar#wicked act 2#wicked part two#wicked fiyero#wicked#elphaba thropp#fiyeraba
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DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) dir. Peter Weir
#neilperryedit#robert sean leonard#dpsedit#deadpoetssocietyedit#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#useraish#tuserkaren#mialook#usernivi#tusermiles#userrlaura#dailyflicks#*mine#*mygifs#but he doesn't know ! because he doesn't even really know neil#not to take what i said in my lane edit but it's literally trying so hard to be this person that your parents want you to be !#like your parent will never see you how you actually are because they're so busy trying to force you to be this whole other person#the tragedy that is neil perry will never not get to me like i'm sick to my stomach and i am crying my eyes out#he tried he tried so hard to be his best and he just wanted this one thing for himself#also this scene is lowkey my enemy bc i hate coloring it#i feel like it always looks kind off ?#*500
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why does everyone decide to keep jimmy alive in the jimblasted au?
Think about it please
#Would you kill your best friend who has been a part of your life for an extended period of time and who you tended to confide in for comfort#as shitty as he was. he was always a constant in your routine who grounded you in reality and who you feel guilty and responsible for?#Curly wouldn't#Anya would not kill a human being.#As much as that human hurt her. it was still a human who now in his state is dependent and is at the mercy of others for his survival.#she is a doctor too. failed med school 8 times and still wants to try again and again. she will keep trying as long as she's alive#what would it even do for her? some vengeful satisfaction? justice? mercy kill? anger? that doesn't sound like Anya.#and Jimmy can't do anything anymore.#Daisuke doesn't know any better and why would he want to kill Jimmy? he was just a grumpy guy Daisuke didn't know too well.#Swansea is maybe the only one who would be for it but then again keeping a decaying corpse on board isn't a solution to anything.#they know jimmy crashed the ship but in the canon they also though curly did it. and he stayed alive#only Curly and Anya know what Jimmy did and why he crashed the ship. but they wouldn't allow it to supersede their ethics and reasons#jimblasted au#so how was your day guys#asks
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For Requestober No.2
What about Handplates Gaster and Papyrus trying hard to have a bonding activity and Sans just chilling behind them eating popcorns...?
👉🏻👈🏻
Day 14 - He's supervising
#My art#Requestober#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Sans#Ah....The cutes........#I'm really pleased with how this one came together haha ♪ Soft and colourful and overlaps and subject! Yeah!!#And look at the bottoms of those shoes!!!!!! Improving!!!!! Genuinely probably the best I've done so far ahh yaay#It does feel a bit funny to have Papyrus' outfit as kind of a mish-mash of various design elements lol#It's his Battle Body but there's the black-clothed spine from my design but bare arms and legs from Handplates#I dunno I just work here lol#Sans is pretty much on-model at least - Sans no you'll get butter on your gloves!#He's very happy to be here as you can see lol#''be more excited you got a gift from the best skeleton in the underground and above it''#Papyrus just trying to have the most fun :') His enthusiasm makes up for everyone else's - right? Has to#Gaster's being passive - bracelet of yellow flowers huh hmmm - but he's not fighting or leaving! Every little drop of progress#His little kneel under Papyrus' open lap is so cuuuute wahhh <3 <3 Soft interactions! Gentle touch!#Not confining or even all that purposeful just casual pleasant contact hh <3#Quite happy with the patch of grass as well hehe I think it follows the composition curve nicely ♪#Really in love with my grass brush can you tell lol but I also used my waterbrush! Ahh it's nice it feels good to colour with#Cute and soft <3 Like it all very much ♥
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its true he just comes to you in your moment of need
#i was playing the game and then i had to make dinner#i remember seeing posts about this phenomenon before even playing the game... it inspired me i had to know him#it was so funny i was not trying to think of him at all and his voice actor just appeared in my head doing my secondary narration thing#you know what i mean. when youre doing something so you have a little conversation in your head.#its been like years since ive had a character narrate it for me. the speech pattern is even my best impression of him#dont play video game for hours#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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wheatley and queen are restocked! + i have b grades again <3
cozylittleartshoppe @ etsy
#enamel pins#wheatley#portal 2#deltarune#queen#place your bets. can i make linking gabv1el keychains before christmas. By God I Will Try#''i saw this on [anywhere but etsy]'' yeah dibshits steal my designs :( if you've ever bought a bootleg of my art please please please#toss that trash and buy an original. mine are so much nicer quality and etsy is my only income#like as much as i love enamel pins as an artist And collector sometimes i dont even want to make them anymore#because they're the easiest thing for fuckheads to steal. and then they sell them at prices *i'd* be making a loss at#please never buy ANYTHING fandom related on those super cheap chinese websites i am begging you#you're hurting artists. it's all stolen at Best and made from harmful materials and paints at Worst
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Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanoff Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
#my gifs#dailymarveledits#dailymarvelgifs#steve rogers#natasha romanoff#steverogersedit#captain america#the winter soldier#catws#black widow#avengers#stevenat#ummm........................ them <3#the development of their friendship in this movie is very important to me#theyre like my favorite duo i think they compliment each other so well#theyre meeting in the middle here#steve realizing hes been a pawn in the shield/hydra nonsense and starting to seriously question his role in things#meanwhile natasha is realizing the same thing while ALSO having the background of having been a pawn of the kgb and trying to get out#steves figuring out that this is The Way of Things at the same time that natasha is getting a severe reminder of how shit works#they had both kind of naively thought they could Do The Right Thing and Work For The Right People#even though nats background would make you think she wouldnt have fallen for it quite so easily#but theyre both desperate to like. Atone for shit and Make Things Right and Do Things Properly#but thats really not possible when youre working for governmental or near governmental entities#anyways your honor!!!!!!!!!! theyre best friends!!!!!!!!!!!!#also i really like how these gifs turned out <333#the version of catws i have is great for giffing
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been thinking about them lately ok
#lots of doodles ok these arent even close to finished and never will be#dhmis humanizations#dhmis duck#dhmis yellow guy#dhmis red guy#dhmis#anyways. i think rgs crush on duck is insaene in general i think its WORSE WHEN THEYRE HUMAN#i also think its really fucking funny#obsessed with this tiny balding little man who is Mean To Me#hes like a kid who would get bullied in high school to me#like idk. theyre da same to me in human au. which i suppose this is an au even tho im just trying to translate them as closely as i can#in my heart theyre still in the pink house#this is not like the apartments au to me at all. so to me the dynamic is still the same#and for those of u who dont remember that dynamic is RG being down bad for duck bc he WEIRDLY is godbless. but also insanely evasive and sh#and duck does not act like anything is happening between them but also in his head theyve been married for 30 years. but its obvious to him#so he doesnt feel the need to say anything duh.#and if he ever brought it up it would be a best friend debate again#'you think IM your husband?!?!' of course you are !! :] 'IM NOT. YOUR HUSBAND !! YOU DONT HAVE A HUSBAND!!'
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"See you tomorrow"
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]
#better drawn mdzs#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#mdzs au#Lan wangji#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art#Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now#Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time#You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.
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*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?
tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.
#i really do have a love-hate relationship with this timeline#because it's FASCINATING lore. genuinely. and i think it carries over the themes of certain games REALLY well#but i also think it's indicative of a trend in loz's writing that has REALLY annoyed me for a long time#which is this intense need to cling to oot#and on a certain level i get it. that was your most successful game probably ever. and it was an AMAZING game.#and i think there's definitely some corporate profit maximization tied up in this too--oot was an insane commercial success therefore you'r#not allowed to make new games we need you to just remake oot forever and ever#and that really annoys me because it makes certain games feel disjointed at best and barely-coherent at worst.#i think the best zelda games on the market are the ones where the devs were allowed to really push what they were working with#oot. majora. botw. hell i'd even put minish cap in there#these are games that don't quite follow what was the standard zelda gameplay at their time of release. they were experimental in some way#whether that be with graphics or puzzle mechanics or open-world or the gameplay premise in its entirety. there's something NEW there#and because the devs of those games were given that level of freedom the gameplay really enforces the narrative. everything feels complete#and designed to work together. as opposed to gameplay that feels disjointed or fights against story beats. you know??#so I think that the willingness to allow botw and totk to exist independently from the timeline is good at the very least from a developmen#standpoint because it implies a willingness to. stop making shitty oot remakes and let developers do something interesting.#and yes i do very much fear that the next 20 years of zelda will be shitty BOTW remakes now#in which botw link appears and undergoes the most insane character assassination youve ever seen in your life#but im trying to be optimistic here. if botw/totk can exist outside the timeline then we may no longer be stuck in the remake death loop#and i'm taking eow as a good sign (so far) that we're out of the death loop!! because that game looks NOTHING like botw or oot.#fingers crossed!!#anyway sorry for the game dev rant but tldr timeline good except when it's bad#asks#zelda analysis
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