#even if you don't have it go give it a read its one of my favorite logs in the game

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

I was going to put this in the tags but it's long enough and a direct response that I think I should just add it here.

Yes, to all of this, unironically and unhesitatingly.

For what it's worth for everything I'm about to say, I am a licensed social worker and am currently employed as a mental health clinician. But I have not done any research on this personally and don't have sources at the moment to back this theory up (im going to look into that today actually. I'm curious to see what I find.) This is just all speculation from a professional, so take that for what it's worth. I'll try to add some sources later when I'm not on mobile.

See I agree with what was stated up above about anxiety and depression. I also think its possible it could apply to diagnoses considered less "general," like adhd.

Example. I was recently diagnosed with adhd. The only reason I bothered to pursue the diagnosis was because it was impacting my ability to function throughout my day, and I wanted to try medication. (Personally, I think those are the only times you really should pursue a professional diagnosis, but that's a separate conversation...)

The most notable complaints I had about what I was experiencing were:

- struggling to focus on one task instead of bouncing around between everything on my to do list

- getting overwhelmed and paralyzed from the amount of thoughts and tasks that were in front of me

- struggling to stay on a task that requires my full focus (like reading) because I simply can't give that task my full attention

- conversely, going too long engaging in one task (usually a preferred relaxation task) and neglecting other parts of my life. This typically happens for me on weekends, when I'm trying to play video games instead of think about work.

There are other symptoms that I qualify with, like interrupting people (or struggling not to), being physically jittery and fidgety, being easily angered when certain things happen, etc.

For me, a lot of this ties back to - and was made most clear by - the amount of tasks I have to regularly engage in in my life, and my difficulty keeping up with it all and functioning effectively through it.

Now on one hand, the DSM V is written with a focus on symptoms that interfere with life functioning. And things that stop necessary tasks from being completed tend to fuck our lives up more than something that makes us a little too talkative or fidgety.

But also. And I will say this again and again and again.

A diagnosis is a tool and label. Not a law of the universe. Not a cause. It is a human attempt at categorization of known symptoms, with the intention of relating to effective treatments.

(And that^^^ is something you'll learn from any decent psych 101 class. Mine wasn't decent and I had to go a few classes beyond before we actually started framing it that way.)

With that in mind. Here's a question.

Is my adhd just innate within me, and something that would have been there, regardless of what my life looked like? Is it a specific way my brain deviates from the "norm," and something that, with the right technology and testing, could have been detected and diagnosed without my even noticing any symptoms? Something that exists in a vaccuum without touching my other diagnoses of anxiety and depression?

Or. Is it maybe just a quick and easy way of saying "this person cannot keep up with the stimuli in their life without becoming overwhelmed. And it is effecting their functioning to a notable degree"

That second option is a gross oversimplification, but I hope you take a second to sit with how much the first option sounds like eugenics. If the problem is innate within you, then if we just improve our technology enough to detect it in everyone who has it and separate them from the "norm," then we can weed out the problem, right? Okay, Elon.

How much of my adhd could be a culmination of the fact that I'm overwhelmed with stimuli 24/7 and have lost my ability to focus effectively because of it? How much of my clients' adhd could be a result of the same, possibly combined with the fact that many of them have experienced or are currently experiencing trauma? Which is known to impact ability to focus on tasks, as well as create a hyperactive body system?

This isn't to say adhd is a bogus diagnosis. The same way that the anxiety and depression we experience within our current world state is also not a bogus diagnosis. We're still experiencing it. We still fit the diagnostic criteria. And treatment still helps.

My point of all this is, yes to what's above. And also, maybe it would be good to reframe the ways we view diagnosis in general, to take it a step further, and to recognize the very clear and present causes of what a lot of people are experiencing nowadays. In my opinion, it goes beyond anxiety and depression.

(Also. For the people saying you'll go nuts if you aren't busy. Take a look at why that is. Is that a sustainable way of living? Are you comfortable just existing as yourself? Are you trying to distract yourself from something, or avoiding something uncomfortable? Have you possibly adapted well to the pressure of being constantly busy? Think about it from a different angle)

[ghostlyferrettarot]

💕Pick a Picture: ༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴Channeled letter from your Soulmate ༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴

₊˚ʚ ₊💌˚✧ ﾟ🤍 𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓥𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝓓𝓪𝔂₊˚ʚ ₊💌˚✧ ﾟ🤍

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

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🛸Masterlist🛸

ʚ🩷ɞ Pile 1:

"Hello, my love:

We haven't met yet in the time we know, but I feel your energy close by. Sometimes, in the quietest moments, I close my eyes and I can imagine what it will be like the first moment I see you, how everything will seem to align, as if everything has led to this very moment.

I want you to know something: I am already here, thinking of you, even though I can't show you yet. You may not see it, but I feel a little closer every day. And in this space, I want you to trust that everything you have lived, everything you have experienced, is leading me right to you. Your strength, your vulnerability, your moments of light and shadow... are building me a clear image of how wonderful you are.

So don't worry about when or how, because love comes when it has to. I promise it won't be rushed, or forced. You don't need to be perfect for me; none of that really matters. All I want is for you to be yourself, as authentic as you are, because that's the person I want to share my life with.

With all my love that I haven't given you yet ;),

Your future lover"

💘 Channeled song from your person:

ʚ🩷ɞ Pile 2:

"Hello, my love:

Maybe this message comes at a time when you feel like everything is on pause, or that things are not going their course. And I want to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that everything is happening exactly as it has to be. There is nothing that is out of place. We are at different points, but somewhere in this space that we share, we are already connected.

I want you to know that I am waiting for you, although not in the sense of waiting as something passive. No. I am waiting for you with everything that I am, with everything that I am learning, with everything that I already am and everything that I continue to discover. Because I need you just as you are, not for what you can do, or for what you can "give" me, but for what we are together when we meet.

Although sometimes you may feel alone or lost, you are preparing yourself for what is to come. Don't doubt yourself or what the future holds, I want you to trust that this whole path has been a part of my journey to you. You dont need to worry about what's still unclear. I promise that when the time comes, it will all make sense, believe me.

I send you all my love,

Your love"

💘 Channeled song from your person:

ʚ🩷ɞ Pile 3:

"Hello, my dear,

Today I woke up feeling so warm and close to you, like we already knew each other, like our souls already recognized each other, even though we haven't physically crossed paths yet. I'm here, even though you can't see me, and I'm sending you all my love and thoughts.

I want you to know that, even though this journey towards you is taking longer than you imagine, every day that passes brings me closer to you. You don't have to do anything else, just be you, and that's what attracts me the most. I promise you that everything is happening in its perfect time. When we get to meet, everything will make sense, and everything you've lived so far will be the solid foundation for what we're going to build together.

Don't feel pressured, Don't worry if it seems like things aren't going as fast as you'd like. I'm going through my own process too, and on this journey, we're learning to be better versions of ourselves so we can give each other the most genuine love.

I want you to always remember that you are enough just the way you are. You dont need to change who you are, how you think, what you like; the ones that get it, are the ones that matter, and in the end, you have me ;). Please keep moving and keep being you, you deserve the world and your ideas need to be heard. Your voice MATTER! so keep going my love.

With all my love,

Your partner in a crime"

💘 Channeled song from your person:

🩷⋆˚✿˖°ᡣ𐭩🩷Thanks for reading, tell me if it resonated and Happy Valentines day🩷⋆˚✿˖°ᡣ𐭩🩷

[shimmershifts]

an open letter to those who have not yet shifted.

i don't know how many of you will see this, let alone how many will read it entirely. this letter is for those who have been trying to shift for two years, five years, more. those who cannot give up, and those who will not give up, and maybe even those who already have. to preface, this letter will not rehash everything you already know. you've scrolled every forum, you've seen every method, you've read every tip. you've trialed, and errored, and persevered... but you're still here. law of assumption, manifestation, belief, intention. but you're still here. you've been told all about shifting... right? you already know what shifting is... right? you should already know how to shift... right? but you're still here.

this letter is not intended to debase or invalidate those who do already believe in those things and who are satisfied with that. this is for those who have been trying that way for 2 years, 5 years, and more, and still haven't shifted. this is for those who might want an alternative perspective.

what you've been told

in my personal opinion, the online shifting community as it currently stands is very... rigid. narrow. there are a few dominant views, and then the many who drown out any possible dissent or disagreement. i do understand why this happens. reality shifting is already a marginal belief, hounded by anti-shifters and disbelieved and debunked on all sides, so it makes sense that people feel the instinct to close ranks at any sign of an outsider. unfortunately, this has led to a community that raises its hackles at even other reality shifters who simply don't believe the exact same way that you do. law of assumption. manifestation. intent. (and dare i say it, the multiverse.)

i don't believe in any of that, in the context of shifting.

now, wait! don't go yet, stay with me. it's okay if you do. i'm not intending to change the minds of those who already believe in these things. i'm not going to go at anyone and say "i'm right, you're wrong, and you must change your mind to agree with me!" that would be silly, and counterproductive. let's lower our guards, and extend an olive branch, please. if you feel these things serve your journey, then carry on. you're allowed to disagree with me, i won't be upset. you're allowed to think i'm wrong, if you want. literally no worries at all.

but i am a little tired frankly of certain ideas being treated as the only options, and often in a rude or hostile manner. if you are someone who has spent five years trying to shift, and you see yet another post that boils down to "all you have to do is want it hard enough" does that not hurt your soul? the following sections of this post are for those who these ideas have not been working for. for those who have not yet shifted. it's been two years. five years. more. and you're still here. are you open to another possibility?

what is reality shifting?

i've told you what i don't believe, but what about what i do? i'll try to keep this as concise as possible for the sake of brevity and comprehension, knowing i could potentially clarify in future posts. but please continue with the understanding that im a chronic overexplainer, and my curse is the fact that the extra words don't always actually increase understanding. bear with me.

reality shifting: broadly speaking, this refers to shifting your linear experience of reality from one, to another. this has been known by many other names in the past, across continents and cultures, even in pre-agriculture societies. i'd include ideas like persistent realms, quantum jumping, focus 21, etc. language is subjective, and people may describe or understand the same experience in different ways.

i believe reality shifting is a haphazard side effect of our limited ability to perceive and comprehend reality. let me explain. space, as we understand it, is three dimensional. but reality isn't. it's our bodies and minds limiting our perception and understanding that makes all of reality seem that way to us at surface level.

1D: let's consider a hypothetical one dimensional existence. everything would a straight line, and the only way to perceive anything else would be as a single point directly in front or directly behind you. forwards and backward. the 2D and 3D are beyond your limited ability to physically sense or feel, let alone to comprehend. Forget about the 4D (time). due to your lack of comprehension, you cannot move at will in two dimensional planes, let alone three dimensional space or even time. you are static, a single point.

2D: let's consider a hypothetical two dimensional existence. it would be a flat, infinite planar expanse. you might be a square, or a circle. you can move freely in two dimensional directions (forward, backwards, side to side), but not in the 3D. No up, no down. If you tried to perceive a three dimensional object, you would only be able to comprehend it as linear, a line on the horizon where it intersects your 2 dimensional plane. you would perceive the 3D as moving around or within you on its own, without the ability to direct it. the 4D, or time, if you could perceive it, would be static, a singular point at a time.

3D: what about our three dimensional existence? congratulations, you now are a form, such as a sphere, or a cube. you can move freely in a voluminous, infinite three dimensional space. Forward, backwards, side to side, up, and down. if you *try* to perceive the fourth dimension (time), you can only comprehend it as linear, a line where it intersects your 3 dimensional space. You perceive it as moving around or within you on its own, without the ability to direct it yourself. any dimensions higher than that, if you could perceive it, would be static, a singular point at a time.

quick 4D sidebar: clearing this one up now because this will confuse some of you who are involved in other communities. in many law of assumption and manifestation communities, "4D" has been used to refer to your imagination, inner world, a bridge to "higher vibrational states", etc. i don't use it that way. i use it in the sense of the mathematical concept, or linking three-dimensional space with time. 4D=time.

4D and 5D: so, time is the fourth dimension. that means it is four dimensional, yet due to our limitations as 3D creatures, we can only perceive it as linear. we perceive it as moving around us, without our direction, forwards, (or backwards in some cultures). what about the 5th dimension? the static one? the one we can only perceive one point of at a time? let's call this 5th dimension... reality. due to our limited perception, it may not seem like it, but time and reality are just like space in that all of it exists at once. if you were a 5th dimensional creature, you wouldn't see a bunch of different realities, you'd just see one the way we just see one 3D universe around us right now.

tip: think of it this way, if a three dimensional creature moving through time is only able to perceive it linearly, it may think that each point of time exists separately, passing by in chronological order. this would be like a character in a book, the character experiences each page one at a time as we turn the page. but we know that actually, the entire book exists all at the same time, and already did exist before we picked it up and started reading it, and continues to exist even when we set it down. the same is true of time, and reality. even if we perceive it as linear, or a point, all of it actually exists simultaneously, like space.

still, we can only perceive one point of reality at a time. i believe when we reality shift, we are by some freak of nature (or nurture) finding a way to trigger a "movement" in this "5th dimension," and therefor shifting our linear experience of time and our singular perceptual experience of one reality to another. ("movement" is a bit of an abstraction here, as movement generally refers to 3D space. you're not actually moving anywhere, you're already there, you just... can't see it at the same time as this.)

ok, so how the heavens do i shift?

if you read through all of the above, i assume that's what you're asking by now. "get to the point shimmer! how do i shift?" if you don't need intention, belief, assumption, manifestation, three gallons of water, crystals, or anything else then what do you need to shift?

if we boil shifting down to its absolute core, all you need to do in order to shift is to shift. (put down the pitch forks, and the flaming feathers and tar. i'll elaborate.)

shifting involves finding a way for us 3 dimensional creatures to trigger a shift in a dimensional direction that we do not have the capacity to perceive. so what i mean by "all you have to do to shift, is to shift" is that there is no physical movement, or secret password we can whisper that makes us shift, not inherently. it's sort of like being told to find your invisible and non corporeal primordial tail, and then swish it in a direction that doesn't spatially exist. find your "move in the 5D button", and then press it. except, there is no button.

so how do we "move" from one point of reality to the other? well, the first clue to this is in noticing what part of us is actually doing the "moving".

you don't make it happen with your three dimensional form. there is no body part or mass or motor function in your 3D body that triggers a shift. there's nothing that allows a three dimensional form to move in five dimensional directions... you just can't. your body stays here. that's good news actually, in my opinion. there is no need to force yourself into strange bodily positions, or chug water, or whatever else. your 3D body is irrelevant, because it's not going anywhere. you don't have to do anything with your body to shift. some people can shift awake, asleep, in the shower, walking around, etc.

you also don't necessarily do it with the fourth dimension, time. there is no specific amount of time that you'll shift after. it might seem you've spent a lot of time trying to shift, but the actual shift itself is instantaneous. some people shift their first try, and some of you might be on your second decade of attempts. again, the time factor being irrelevant is good news because this means it doesn't have to take time.

i also don't think we do it with just intent or belief. the intention word gets used so much it basically means nothing, but the general idea is that intent is the driving force that manifests your desired outcome. in the context of shifting, people use it like "set your intention to shift, and you will" or "intent makes you shift." or the dreaded "you just have to believe harder." personally, i don't think that's true. i don't think intention makes you shift. if it did, you all would have shifted by now, right? i think looking anyone who's been trying to shift for 4 years dead in the eye and telling them they just haven't intended to shift yet is honestly a bit cruel and unusual. some people who intend to shift will shift, but in my opinion, its a case of correlation, and not causation. there are also people who shift without intending to, or who intend to shift but don't.

it's also not really our thoughts that shift. or our mind as a concept, or our entire self. we know this because you don't turn into a comatose vegetable when you shift to a different reality. your thoughts, mind, and self here are unaffected by your awareness shifting away from it. if you successfully "permashifted" to hogwarts tonight, your self here would still wake up in the morning and go to work.

so what does shift? only our linear experience of our own awareness. so in order to reality shift, we just need to find a way to trigger our awareness to shift from one point of reality to another in a non linear fashion, and then integrate that into our linear experience. aha! you think. great! now how do i do that...? unfortunately, this is not an exact science (yet.) once you begin shifting regularly, i think it gets "easier" in some regards because you get a sense for how your awareness "feels" and what works for you. for those who haven't shifted, i can't say "take three deep breaths and recite the secret words, and then you'll shift." there is nothing specific you can physically do that will for certain make you shift. there's no secret passwords.

there is no key to shifting. the good news is, this means there is also no lock.

what we can do is get ourselves primed, into a state that increases the chances our awareness is triggered to shift. ie, find the "move in the 5D" button, (you know, the one that doesn't exist) and learn how to press it. and because it is our awareness that shifts, my "methods" have to do with priming your awareness for shifting. you don't need to believe, which is a good thing because it means doubts won't hold you back. you don't necessarily need to intend, which is a good thing because it means there are no secret blockages in your way. no "subconscious", no "reprogramming", no "delusion is the solution." you don't need any of that. you also don't have to do anything specific with your body or space unless you feel like it and want to. you don't need a script, but you can make one if you want. it's whatever, it's irrelevant darling, it's non-consequential.

these three methods below basically encompass all shifting methods out there. i might expand on techniques for these methods later, but for now i'll go over the basics.

method one: pure awareness

it basically boils down to two steps. get into a state of pure awareness, and then shift.

the first step for this method is actually a simple one, sort of, but i think it's unkind to call it easy. it can be easy, if you just happen to have a perfect technique that works for you on your first try. if so, congrats! if not, don't despair. it comes more naturally to some than others, at first. you can probably build the skills and try different techniques necessary for you to get there.

but what is pure awareness? it's currently very often being called "the void state", but i'm not using that term for a few reasons. one, i think using the term "the void state" or calling it "the void" is making people think it's some sort of place that they're trying to go. it's not. it's not a physical place at all, and that's kind of the point. most of the time, your awareness is perceiving reality through the confines concept of 3D reality, because that's the data input it's receiving from your brain and body. that grounds you in this reality, and allows you to go about your day to day life. your goal with the pure awareness method is to focus on just your awareness, absent of all 3D distraction data and input. that way, your awareness is primed to be triggered to shift its focus to the 3D perception of a different point of reality when you come out of that state.

i might make a post about techniques for getting into the state of pure awareness, but this post is already long enough.

method two: destabilization of awareness

this method gets over complicated, but it basically boils down to two steps. destabilize your awareness, and then shift.

honestly, most shifting methods i see online are in some way doing this. lucid dreams, the hypnogogic state, SATS, self-hypnosis, "symptoms", and also all those iterations of the "raven method" the "staircase method" the "alice in wonderland method" etc are all basically ways to destabilize your awareness from the linear perception it is so used to in this point of reality, offering the opportunity of triggering a shift to a different one. they're all sort of either distracting or subverting your focus on the 3D here in this point of reality.

basically, you'll be trying to discombobulate yourself to the point your awareness is not focused on 3D reality, and trigger a shift.

method three: absence of awareness

sleep method gang, rise up. i'm serious. this method involves reducing your awareness to zero, or as close to it as possible, another potentially prime state to trigger a shift. (and by sleep method, i don't mean lucid dreamers or SATS, i mean simply going to sleep here, having a period of complete unawareness, like totally dreamless sleep, and then waking up in your DR.)

this absence of awareness during sleep is (in my experience) the most common cause of accidental or unintentional shifts, but you might be one of those who can trigger a shift to desired realities with this too.

sleeping is not the only way to get to the state of the lack of awareness. i'd say total distraction methods also count for this. you're not asleep, your body is awake, but you're so "zoned out" (or alternatively in a meditative state such that) you're absolutely not aware of the 3D experience of this point of reality anymore.

this is completely different from the state of pure awareness by the way, because in the state of pure awareness you are aware. like, in pure awareness you have a full train of thought and total control. the absence of awareness is the opposite. it feels sort of like a "blip" where reality time and space passed you by and you were not aware of it.

[alwaysobsessed777]

Anything Juju Watkins, she’s seriously underrated 🙏🏻

FOREVER YOURS - J.W.

First juju fic....kinda scared....but let me know if I should keep writing for her

"Juju...i already told you," I could feel my frustration bubbling up. Catching her in the act of kissing another girl was not on my bingo card of the year. "It's a no. I don't care what you have to say, we're done."

"baby....please...its not what it looked like," following like a lost puppy, Juju begged. I couldn't care less in the moment.

Her hand wraps around my wrist, trying to stop me from walking further away. I stopped, looking down at the contact. The calmness of her tone, it further the irritation that was brewing.

I ripped my arm from her grip, "I said I don't want to hear what you have to say. Leave me the f-"

"Y/n....calm down...okay."

"No! If you weren't sucking someone's else face...i wouldn't be acting like this!" I spun around, our eyes meeting. The hurt in her eyes made me want to calm down, but nothing was stopping the hurt that I felt. "I really thought I could trust you...and you walked all over me. My trust...my ego...my love for you. I just need some space...please."

Tears swelled in my eyes. Juju's seemed to mirror. "Okay. I can give you space," she looked down, wiping her eyes before looking back at me, "I love you."

I nod. I had nothing else to say. My legs turned me around, walking me out of the packed party. The party, that if I stayed would have burned something within me, was for the women's team defeating the undefeated UCLA. Maybe she got too cocky. But that cockiness just ruined our whole relationship.

2 weeks later....

It's been hard. I missed her more than I would like to admit. Her sarcasm used to fill the awkward moments with friends. Her jokes flowing in conversation resulting in fits of laughter. Then, her presence. It was grounding, calming, and I needed all of that in my life. But Juju was that....and she wasn't here.

I struggled to pull myself out of bed, groaning with the motion. Hating myself and the world had become a more common thing for me these days. I hated myself for not listening to the girl cause what if she really hadn't done anything. Maybe I jumped to conclusions, maybe I was a jerk, maybe I was the one who didn't deserve her. Not the other way around.

Throwing on whatever was near, I made my way out of the sloppy dorm room. Opening the door, to my surprise, I was welcomed with many holding flowers.

"uh...excuse me," he looked down at the small paper attached to the bouquet of roses, "Y/n? These are for you."

"I think you might have the wrong y/n. Nobody is gonna send me anything," I closed my door, locking before turning back around to face the guy.

"Y/n l/n....from Juju Watkins? Does that sound right?"

Shock washed over me. Why would Juju send me flowers? "Um...yeah...yeah that sounds right."

"well," he held them out, "here you go. Have a nice day, ma'am."

"than-thank you." I stood there, flowers in hand, dumbfounded. I couldn't piece together why, the woman I yelled at and refused to say 'i love you' back too, would send flowers to me.

Quickly, I read the small note attached to the stem. Hoping that it would tell me why she would.

'I know your probably not happy with me...but I wanted to send you flowers (even tho Valentine's day was a little while ago...) for V' day. I would never not get you something....but I figured it would have been stupid to send something right after everything went down. Just know, I'm sorry that what happened happened. I'm always ready to talk whenever you are. I love you too much to not wait. Love, Juju'

"it's not too much is it?" Her voice rang through my ears, my head snapping up to meet the girl I've been missing tremendously.

Juju.

Sniffling, I pulled her into a tight embrace, "I've missed you so much." The words mumbled into my shoulder. Her arms tighten their hold on around me, pulling me impossibly closer.

"I've missed you too," a broken chuckle fell from my lips, "even if I don't necessarily like you right now."

Juju's body tensed, "can we talk about...what happened, please?"

I nodded, escaping her hold to unlock the door. Opening it, I step in allowing Juju to follow.

"I'm so sorry you saw me kiss another girl....but I didn't kiss her. She kissed me. I was drunk...she was drunk....she thought I was into her....so she took her shot. I pushed her off of me, but she latched back on as you walked in. I wish I could've been able to stop you from seeing it. I would have told you what happened....i just wish everything would have went down another way. I'm sorry baby." Juju was almost begging for forgiveness. Her words sinking in, my brain deciding whether to trust her or not. Something in the way she let everything just crash through whatever dam was holding it in convinced me, convinced me that she was telling the truth.

"okay."

"okay?"

"I accept your apology and now I want kisses to make up for it," I held my arms out, hoping the girl would just go with it. To my liking, she did.

"God I've wanted to kiss you for weeks," a smirk settled on her lips, well, before her lips crashed onto mine.

My arms snaked around her neck as her hands fell to my waist. Her grip tight and dominant, almost like she would never let me go. Our lips moved against each other like they were made to be kissed by the other. A feeling of familiarity settled within me. Thoughts seemed to not form properly, other than one thought. We were meant to be, and nothing was going to get in the way of that again.

Once we were both on the verge of not breathing, we broke apart. Smiles stretched across both of our faces as the realization set in.

"I love you more than anything," I whispered, resting my head on her shoulder. Juju's arms pulling me into a hug, the warmth of her embrace calming me. The grounding feeling I had been missing not even an hour ago.

"I love you too, Y/n. More than my own life," the words seemed to effect me more than they had ever before. I felt like she truly meant it.

Nothing would ever break my trust in her again.

------------

A/n : ha...ha....if this is trash, let me know and I won't ever write for juju again.

But if y'all like....let me know and I'll definitely write for her again.

(I'm truly in love with this woman....shes another one of my wives.)

[obaewankenope]

They are, in some ways, scared of being a bother to authors, aye. But there's also an aspect of some who read fic, might hit kudos, and then move on because they're just used to a reaction notification being enough (see most social media nowadays that lets you just heart or thumbs up shit and then keep on scrolling).

Some don't know they can comment at all.

Some don't care that they can comment because they expect the kudos button to be enough.

Some don't know what to say and fear bothering the author because they've seen how people commenting on things on Instagram etc can get dogpiled on and are scared of that happening to them.

Some just don't have the time to leave a comment because they're bing-reading and forget the fics they've read.

Some think a 'shout out' on other social media is preferred when, honestly, authors want to have engagement with their readers (we eat up comments even as simple as "<3 <3 <3" seriously, we genuinely do) but they're used to platforms like tiktok and Instagram where a 'shout out' is more valuable because it means hits and financial payoff. They don't realise we don't get paid on AO3 to write fic so a shout out isn't as useful to us as an actual comment or bookmarking of our fic with screeching in the bookmark notes.

Like, there's lots of varying reasons why commenting on fic isn't as prevalent anymore (many of which tend to stem from "reaction to a post being equated with the kudos button and thus 'enough'" because that's usually fine on other platforms) but anxiety and being scared/worried/concerned with causing offense or upset to the author (or anyone who reads the comments) is a big one too.

With how overwhelmingly powerful cancel-culture is and how people are told about or hear of times when authors have ripped on people leaving 'reviews' when they've been unasked for, a fair number of individuals likely worry about leaving a comment that, in some way, could be construed as criticism or unasked for critique and getting cancelled for it as a result.

The best way to avoid that, however, isn't to not comment, it's to have a bare-bones structure for leaving comments, mainly:

I loved/liked/enjoyed this fic/chapter/one-shot! My favourite bit is/was probably [insert short summary or specific bit of fic like a sentence or paragraph] because it made me feel/think about/remember sth specific to the fandom!

Amazing/good fic! 10/10 would recommend! Extra kudos!

That's, ultimately, the easiest way to leave a comment on a fic or chapter because it gives the author sth to look at, go "oh they liked that bit! Nice! I enjoyed writing that part as well!" and lets them know you read the fic even if its not a 5 page long, size 12 font in Times New Roman essay review. It also avoids any of the risks of unintentional critique or critical reviews that authors tend to not ask for (unless we state such in our author notes) that often tend to be upsetting for the author to read because no one wants to be criticised (even if it is being done in a helpful way) unexpectedly when they haven't asked for it.

And if that kind of comment is too much, or you're too anxious for it, even the simpler:

Loved it! Extra kudos! <3

Works well enough for us authors to know you liked what we wrote enough to tell us that and shows us that it's only because you can't leave more than one kudos per fic that's stopping you from spamming us with kudos.

Just, if you can, comment. We don't need fancy, we just need to know you care.

"Ao3 should allow multiple kudos" "I want to be able to leave more than one kudos"

COMMENT ON THE FUCKING FIC

I SWEAR TO GOD NO ONE COMMENTS MUCH NOW WHEN THE ONLY WAY TO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR A SINGLE CHAPTER IS COMMENTING AND I AM NOT HAVING THIS BULLSHIT BE LIKE TIKTOK WHERE NO ONE EVER COMMENTS POSITIVITY

FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST COMMENT ON THE FUCKING FIC YOU DON'T NEED A MULTIPLE KUDOS BUTTON YOU NEED ACTUAL WORDS

TRUST ME ON ANY WEBSITE OR APP I POST COMMENTS AND WORDS ARE 10X BETTER THAN ANY PLAIN LIKE AND WORDLESS REBLOG IF YOU LIKE SOMETHING LEAVE WORDS

COMMENT

ON

THE

FUCKING

FICS

[cutiecusp]

Galentines, a 141 drabble.

Just a little fluff for us girlies, happy Galentines!

.........................

"What's all this for?" John asks, as you put another handful of pink and red in the trolley, smile beaming as you deposit chocolates, decorations, and snacks.

"Its Galentines!" You smile, eyes shining.

"The girls and i get together, bring a dish, and watch rom coms or something together, with a few games and snacks. It's my chance to show the love for my girlfriends this year."

John smiled, seeing his birdie radiating happiness always put him in a good mood.

"So what do you need?" He asks, his Captain brain mentally checking off things on a list.

"I have decorations, and sweets, i just need something for the girls to drink, and then i can go home and set up."

Nodding, John turns the trolley to the drinks aisle.

"Want those fancy straws and cups we had for your birthday?" He asks over his shoulder, smirking at the heart eyes you give him.

"Perfect." You reply, throwing your arms around his middle.

./././././././././././././././

"Babe, the girls are over later, can you pass me the baking tray?" You ask Johnny, who was wolfing down his cereal, staring at his phone.

"Johnny!" You say a little louder, startling him.

"What do you need, hen?" He replies, putting his phone down.

"The baking tray, im making those heart pastries for the girls tonight."

He hands you the tray, a furrow in his brow.

"Have i forgotten something?"

You roll your eyes, lately Johnny had been glued to his phone, so probably didn't even hear you talk about your plans.

"Galentines, the party?" You remind him gently.

A look of recognition passes over him, getting out of the chair, he wraps his arms around you, burying his face into your neck.

"M'sorry lovie. Just had a lot on my mind." He apologises, pressing a kiss to your neck.

"Gotta head out early today, need anything for your party?" He asks. You reply with a shake of your head.

With a quick kiss on your cheek, he heads out the door, waving to you from the car.

"Wonder what has him up so early?" You muse.

Little did you know, he's been planning a valentines surprise, and was waiting on the notification on his phone to say it was ready.

./././././././././././././././././././

"The red ones or the pink ones?" Kyle asks, holding out both pairs of shoes from your closet, trying not to stare at you in your pretty outfit.

"I think the red?" You mull over, taking them both and trying them on, walking around your flat.

You and Kyle had been friends for a really long time, so when the opportunity arose that you needed a flatmate, he was the perfect person to ask. Little did you know, he had feelings for you that you matched with your own.

"R-red's good babe." he admits, watching the way the heels made your legs look longer, he wonders what they would look like wrapped around his hips.

You smile, fiddling with the buckles on the ankles before standing up to your full height, even in heels you came up to Kyles chin.

"You look pretty, where are you and the girls headed tonight?" He asks, focusing his gaze on yours.

"The cocktail bar in town, then i think Harriet wants to go to the strip club, they have a male show on tonight." you reply, a little blush fluttered over your cheeks. You wonder what it would be like to have Kyle dance for you.

"Ah, strippers, cocktails, heels.. bad combo, will you need picking up?" Kyle smiles, a dimple flashing in his cheek.

"You read my mind, if you don't mind waiting up?" You laugh, your eyes shining with mirth.

"Let me know when you need me, and i'll be there." With a deep look, you realise Kyle meant so much more than just tonight.

You lean in, the night now charged with a thick tension.

"Promise?" you murmur, eyes not leaving his.

"Promise." He answers easily, before taking you into his arms, pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

./././././././././././././././

"I miss you." You say into the phone, Your face appearing on Ghost's screen.

"I know, love. But I'm home soon." A gruff voice answers.

"Did you get my flowers?"

You smile, panning the phone back to show him the vase and the matching flowers, a mixture of the darkest tulips and lilies he could find.

"I did, and i love them. Thank you." You beam.

"And you are all ready for the girls thing tonight?" He asks, his voice softening as he relaxes in his chair.

"I am, nice to have the girls over, but-" You pause, not wanting to add the the guilt you knew he was feeling already.

"I know, soon." He finishes your sentence for you.

You hear a commotion on his end, and the call drops suddenly, you send him a text to say you will ring him after the girls leave.

You spend the day prepping food, and making sure the house is clean, along to a playlist of all your favourite alternative love songs.

The party is a success, the girls took your mind off Simon for the night, facemasks, a movie marathon and enough snacks to shake a stick at made you appreciate your girlfriends more.

Shortly after midnight, and the last girl had gone, you heard a key in the door, and there he was.. With a massive smile on his face.

"Told ya it would be soon, love." he mumbles into your hair as you pounce on him, pressing kisses all over his face.

"Happy Valentines."

././././././././././././././.

@kaeyasfuturewife @xoxunhinged @muneca-lemon-steppa @gardenof-venus @misshugs @soraya-daydreams @frudoo @renpodz @yesornowaitidontknow @thevoiceinyourheadx @shadowdark00 @rynbeerose @lunamoonbby @incredible-walker @identity2212 @pukbadger @urbimom @corvid007 @wordsfromshona @shadows-empress @m00xy @canyonmooncreations @oniraki @evie-119 @havoc973 @kylies-lover-blog @ishipdabands @cmbghost @heckinspooks @midwesternwitchery @eggy-yoke @redzluvvesage @masterclassofescapism @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @skeletonsucker

[heliosunny]

Hello!

If possible, could you please write about Yandere Aglaea bathing her freshly acquired reader in a non-sexual manner. The reader could be scared or trying their best to be defiant towards her but they know it is futile due to Aglaea’s status as a Chrysos Heir and Demigod.

If this request is too uncomfortable for you, I completely understand.

Thank you and have a good day.

Yandere!Aglaea x Reader

The chains were gone.

Not because you had broken free, not because you had outwitted your captor, but because she had deemed them unnecessary.

"You look so much better without them" Aglaea had mused, tracing the marks she left behind on your wrists with an unbearable softness. "Did you truly think iron could hold you in place when it is my will that binds you?"

You had wanted to spit something sharp in response, to throw your defiance in her face despite knowing it was pointless. But standing there, in a place carved of gleaming ivory and gold, under the weight of her presence, words felt useless.

So you ran.

A pathetic attempt, really. The moment your feet touched the polished marble floors, you bolted, darting through opulent halls and gilded corridors that blurred together in your desperation. You didn’t know where you were going—only that you needed to move.

For a brief, foolish moment, you thought you had a chance.

Then, like a whisper of silk against skin, she was behind you.

"You wound me" Aglaea sighed as an arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against her. Her voice was disappointed, but not surprised. As though she had been waiting for this. "Did I not tell you? There is nowhere you can go that I will not follow."

You struggled, but it was like trying to fight against the sun. Her grip did not waver—only held, unbreakable in its gentleness.

"You’re exhausted" she murmured into your ear, her breath unbearably soft. "Come. Let me care for you."

And now, you were here.

Seated in a bath of warm, perfumed water, your body unwillingly relaxing under the heat. Aglaea sat beside the tub.

"You act as though I’ve harmed you" she said, dipping the cloth into the water. "Yet, I have only ever touched you with kindness."

"You kidnapped me" you bite out, the only act of defiance you can manage in this moment.

Aglaea smiles. "I saved you."

You glare at her, but she simply presses a hand to your shoulder, gently pushing you further into the warmth of the bath.

"You may fight me in your mind" she muses, brushing damp hair from your face. "But your body already knows the truth."

You want to fight, to deny, to refuse her in every way possible.

But as her hands continue their reverent worship, as the warmth seeps into your weary bones, you realize—

Aglaea does not need chains to keep you here.

The water rippled as Aglaea cupped it in her hands, letting it trickle down your shoulders in a slow, deliberate motion. She hummed softly, a tune unfamiliar to you—one that belonged to ancient halls and golden spires, to a world far above your reach.

"You still resist" she murmured, more amused than displeased. "But in time, you will see the truth. You are exactly where you are meant to be."

"You talk as if fate had anything to do with this."

"It did" Aglaea said smoothly, dragging the cloth down the length of your arm. "Or rather, I did." She smiled at your silence, enjoying the way tension crept into your muscles despite the warmth of the water. "Did you think I took you on a whim?"

Of course you did

You were not important—not a royal, not a warrior, not even a scholar of great renown. You were no one. So why you?

As if reading your thoughts, Aglaea exhaled softly, "You still don't see it, do you? Why I chose you."

You refused to ask. Refused to give her the satisfaction.

Aglaea did not need your words.

"I have plans" she said, trailing her fingers along your wrist, tracing the veins as though mapping something precious. "The Chrysos Heirs are destined with divine missions. And yet…" She tilted her head, studying you. "We are not invincible."

Something cold curled in your stomach.

"So we need you."

Aglaea smiled.

"Oh, you thought I wouldn’t notice?" she mused. "That no one would notice?"

She knew about your blood. About the thing that made you different, that had always made you different. The thing you had spent years hiding. The thing that made you immune to the divine blessings of the Chrysos.

"You are an anomaly." Aglaea continued, dipping the cloth into the water again. "A mortal untouched by our gifts. By our power." She ran the damp fabric over your collarbone, her touch almost reverent. "How fascinating it is… that something so delicate could undo gods."

"You could be a weapon," she said, voice softer now, a lover’s whisper. "In the hands of another, you would be forced to bring ruin to my kin. To me." Her fingers trailed up your throat, curling just beneath your chin. "I could not allow that."

"So what?" you spat. "You plan to keep me locked away forever?"

Aglaea laughed—light, melodic, as if you had said something endearing.

"Why would I waste such potential?" She cupped your cheek, her warmth sinking into your skin. "You are mine. Not as a prisoner, not as a tool—but as something far greater."

Her grip tightened, just barely, as her eyes glowed with something final.

"You will stand at my side when I reshape this world."

The words settled over you like chains. Not cold, unyielding iron—but golden ones. Ones that would gleam under the sun, soft and beautiful and inescapable.

"So that’s it?" you bit out. "You take me, wash me like some delicate thing, and expect me to play along?"

Aglaea remained unfazed, "I expect you to accept your place."

"Accept?" You let out a sharp laugh, tilting your head. "You talk about reshaping the world, but all I hear is the same delusional arrogance the Chrysos have always had."

A flicker of something dark passed through her gaze. Not anger. Not offense.

"And what would you do, little one?" she murmured, voice softer now. Dangerous. "Would you fight me?"

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t.

She exhaled, dragging the damp cloth down your chest, the warmth of the water trailing in its wake. "You will understand soon enough."

That was the last thing you wanted to hear. The final thread of restraint inside you snapped.

"You act like you own me," you snarled. "Like I should be grateful that you stole me away. But what makes you any different from the monsters you claim to be above?"

There was only silence. Then, in one slow, measured movement, Aglaea dipped her hand into the water—

—and pushed.

The world tilted. Water surged over your head, filling your nose, your mouth. Your body seized, panic clawing at your chest as you thrashed, hands grasping for purchase. But there was nothing.

No hands holding you down. No weight pressing against you.

Just the water.

Just her will.

The moment your lungs screamed for air, the pressure eased. You shot up, gasping, coughing violently as water dripped down your face. The bath sloshed around you, ripples disturbing the once-calm surface.

Aglaea was gone.

No trace of her warmth, no lingering whisper of breath against your skin.

Only silence.

And a single note resting on the edge of the tub.

With shaky hands, you reached for it, unfolding the delicate parchment.

“You will understand soon enough.”

A shiver crawled down your spine.

Because you knew—this was not a retreat.

This was a promise.

[serxa]

TELEMACHUS HEADCANONS — NSFW and SFW

General Headcanons

Sfw first, if you don't want to read any NSFW, there will be a divider indicating it's the NSFW part

Honestly, this is the first NSFW work I've posted, I have more hidden in the chamber if you'd like.

SFW

DATING

- He's mostly shy when you compliment him, when you say "You're so handsome" he'll immediately blush like a school girl, and waving his hands saying "pfft- I may be but you're more handsome-!"

- Telemachus is always the type to do anything you want when you tell him to.

- He wouldn't soften up and practically melt when you hold his face and praise him.

- His first gift to you was a whole bouquet of different flowers from the palace's garden. Penelope wasn't so happy when she saw the bushes looked like it was demolished.

- He's best at comforting you when you had a bad day

- This boy loves his cuddles. Especially after a long day of training with Athena or having to put up with the bullshit the suitors had, he always felt everything was amazing after being in your arms.

- He is a begger, when he wants something or accidentally makes you mad, he's practically go on his knees begging for forgiveness.

- "My love" "Flower" and "Teddy bear" was his go to pet names for you.

- He loved calling you flower because he said you smelled nice like a flower.

- Call's you teddy bear during your cuddle sessions.

- Telemachus loves it when you join him with his training. You're the only person he told you about Athena, and he trains even better in front of you just to impress you.

- Loves to skeem through the jewelry with you, and once he see's your eyes sparkle on one of the jewelries, he immediately tries to buy it for you.

- Buys you flowers every week or two, and he loves seeing that you display them in vases in your room when he visited one time.

ORIGIN AND CONFESSIONS

- When Telemachus and you met near the palace, he was really jumpy because he finally talked to a girl his age.

- Telemachus and you always met up at the front of the palace or near the bush of roses in the nearby forest next to the palace.

- When he realized he like you, he tried his best to stay put and not come off as being pussy when he's giving subtle signs.

- He'd invite you to watch the sunset on the sea side, play in the water with you, let you lay your hand on his lap whenever you two were at the forest, so when you call him just your best friend one time, he went home and bawled his eyes out.

- He confessed to you with a gold bracelet that his mother gave him to give you. Yet he had the audacity to say, "Sorry if its not much-"

NSFW

- Loud whines

- He can't control his noises if his life depends on it, every single kiss you plant or move you make, makes him whine like a bitch.

- His spanks hurt though, him being trained to fight, he sometimes doesn't think if it hurts too much or not. But immediately regrets it when you cry in pain instead of pleasure.

- He can be a switch, and absolutely destroys you if he's pissed or had a bad day to relieve some stress. One day, he'd be begging you to have mercy, next day, he's plunging himself inside of you with such ecstasy. It's really just based on his emotions.

- Mostly he's a bottom, practically praising you with every movement you do.

- He just stares at you with hooded heart eyes while he bites his lip, staring as his dick disappeared inside of you.

- Tit's guy, but he's always tuso polite with them, scared he might hurt you.

- "Am I squeezing too hard?" He always whispered whenever he squeezes your breasts.

- His fingers are a work of art inside of you, he can make you squirt in just 30 seconds with his fingering you aggressively. Mostly fingers you when he doesn't have a chance to fuck you.

- The Best With Aftercare.

- Like I mean best, every single need and want you request, he immediately does it. Would give you baths and clean you up, even changes the sheets of his bed so he can lay you down comfortably.

- MUNCHER.

- He's devours your pussy like it's the last meal on earth when you let him eat you out. And eat you out he does, since he loves how your orgasm tastes.

- He's sometimes get a bit too excited that he hold your thighs wide open till his pushed a bit too much that it hurts to stretch open. Again, he doesn't think that he might be hurting you too much unless it shows.

- There was one time his mother was gone, and one of the suitors started to flirt with you. And as revenge, Telemachus fucked you so hard you were moaning his name around the castle for the suitors to hear.

- Doesn't degrade you, but will do if you asked. Yet he still feels guilty for calling you those names.

- He loves when you use a leather leash on him, just brings a bit more arousal for him.

- "Please, a bit more.." He begs when you stop mid way, his eyes hooded as he waits for you to continue.

-He's definitely long, but not as thick. But it's long to the point his dick is halfway through, you could easily cum.

[cavegirlpoems]

ok so. This is going to be long and pedantic. I've added a read-more link to spare everybody the tedium of my pedantry.

1: you will notice that nic did not actually list 'AD&D 2e' as one of those 'older editions' he was talking about. there are good reasons for this, because it does those things much less than the editions that came before it. AD&D 2e is generally regarded as the point where the game shifted to be more tactical and combat focussed, alongside the rise of Dragonlance-style adventure design which shifted the adventure structure from locations to linear plots.

If AD&D 2e is included in discussions about 'older dnd' - which it often isn't! - it's the outlier, and represents one extreme of what those editions did. In many ways, it's like a missing link between older editions and the direction wotc took the game.

1.1: baldurs gate is not early editions of dnd. It's a modification of 2e. Planescape torment is also not an early edition of dnd. It's also a modification of 2e. Also, crucially, both of these are video games rather than ttrpgs, and working by an entirely different set of constraints. Using them as a point of comparison isn't very useful.

2: here's a b/x character sheet off google images:

there are 16 mechanical details listen on it (class/level, xp, AC, HP, initiative bonus, to-hit bonuses, scores to hit, strength, stats, saves, exploration actions, save bonus vs magic, worn armour, class abilities, gear, weapons & damage, and cash). Of these, only 5 (AC, bonuses to hit, initiative, to-hit scores, weapons) are exclusively combat abilities. HP and saves aren't exclusively combat, they're for danger in general, which combat is only a part of. And this is the most generous way of counting possible; if we count each duplicate seperately (ie each save, to-hit bonus, and activities) it goes from 5 out of 16 to 6 out of 27. So, taking this metric, certainly 1e expects you to engage in combat, but its not taking up anywhere near to the amount of space you claim.

Yes, b/x dnd has more combat than world of darkness, a wildly different game about being a melodramatic goth with angst (wraith even literally gives you an Angst stat to manage). If we compare it to games in the same medieval fantasy adventure milieu - things like runequest or savage worlds - then the amount of combat crunch is entirely average, possibly on the lower side.

3: the actual amount of tactical granularity in early dnd is really quite low. In many, different weapons don't even do different amounts of damage: a dagger deals d6 damage just like a crossbow or claymore. A class like the Fighter doesn't get more tactical combat options in b/x, they just have flat better AC, to-hit and HP. The other big perks of being a fighter are 1) access to a wide range of magic items, including magic swords, which mostly either give you Bigger Numbers or grant you non-combat utility benefits, or 2) the ability to lead soldiers and build a castle at high levels. Combat is streamlined, and most of the granularity is front-loaded into the pre-combat procedures around surprise and so on.

3.1 also, in b/x? every basic-ass goblin is doing d6 damage. Unless you're a fighter or dwarf, you've got a d6 HD at best. You just flat die at 0. Maybe you rolled poorly for your first level. maybe you have 2 HP. A lot of fights are essentially a coin-flip to see if you die, unless you tilt things in your favour before the fight begins.

4: you are correct that 'dungeons' and 'dragons' are both in the name. Let's examine these in more depth:

4.1: The word 'dungeon' comes first, and is where you will spend most of your time in early dnd. The dungeon is not a combat encounter, it's a location to map and explore. Early D&D has extensive rules for mapping, logistics, light, opening doors, dealing with traps, managing hired followers, tracking time, and that sort of thing. If you look at what the game devotes the bulk of its mechanics to for what its about, then early dnd is a game about exploration; the actual mechanics for combat are far more bare-bones. Even when you get to an encounter, between surprise, reaction checks and morale, an encounter is far less likely to be violent than in later editions. Heck, early D&D even has more systems for running away (albeit bare-bones) than later editions.

4.2: Now, lets move onto the other word; 'dragons'. Did you know that every dragon has a listed probability that it's asleep when you find it? This suggests that you're not intended to just fight it; there's a chance you can sneak past it to steal its treasure without fighting it. there's also a chance for each dragon that it talks, which again gives you a chance that a dragon encounter turns into a bilbo-style conversation rather than just a fight. If you do fight it, unless you're very high level, it probably squashes you quite easily. But if it doesn't, there are rules for taming dragons for you to ride, so they're not just there to be killed.

You can certainly expect to encounter a dragon at some point, but that's not actually the same as expecting to have to fight it.

5: yes, dnd is derived from wargames, however it's worth pointing out that the wargames it's derived from are very different from what we see today with things like warhammer. It's reasonable to call them tabletop milsims: they cared about things like logistics, fog-of-war, and so on, and relied heavily on a GM for this; they weren't just combat. This influence is clear in early D&D, which also cares about logistics etc.

5.1 early editions definitely did care if your adventurer died, even if it happened a lot; this is largely what diferentiated them from the wargames that came before. In fact, the use of HP and the od&d 'alternative combat rules' that went on to be adopted - rather than the more brutal chainmail combat system - was specifically to allow PCs to die less.

5.3: early dnd is really not as murder-hobo-ey as the game would later become, because PCs that did that would die quickly, and you wanted to be alive to level up. Combat was less of a focus, had more ways to avoid it, and would kill you more easily, compared to later editions. So, people got into less fights.

Now, I can't claim to know what happened at every table back in the 80s, and neither can anybody else; not even people who were there at the time. But I've read a good chunk of DND adventures from the time, both from TSR and third-party ones in White Dwarf. They featured combat, certainly, but less than in later editions. The focus was on - say it with me now! - dungeon exploration.

ok pedantry over.

One of the funnier manifestations of gleeblor is Pathfinder players: I'll make a post about how D&D will color people's expectations of what RPGs can be like and create a very narrow set of expectations about the medium, and inevitably some Pathfinder player will be like "haha yeah those D&D players should really broaden their horizons, Pathfinder fixes all of their issues," and my friend. I'm sorry to say this but you are not immune to gleeblor and in many regards where it comes to expectations of playstyle created by the game, your favorite game is in fact just another company copying D&D's homework and slightly altering the wording.

[thebigbadbatswife]

I Don't Know How It Gets Better Than This

Pairing - Bruce Wayne x F!Reader Stay Like This Forever Masterlist

Warnings - 18+ ONLY, Explicit sexual content, Unprotected sex, Creampie, Multiple orgasms, Porn with feelings, Elements of Soft Dom!Bruce Wayne and praise kink, Established relationship, Older man/Younger woman, Age Gap, Tooth-rotting fluff, Humour, Valentine's Day

Summary - Bruce surprises you the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had.

A/N - A day late, but it's here! As promised! Also, as with all fics within this 'verse, this is a complete stand alone and doesn't require any thing else to be read to be enjoyed <3

Word Count - 4.7k

You frown as you get into the back of the car that’s waiting for you, just outside of the airport. Your eyes are glued to the bright screen of your phone as you fumble with the seatbelt. 

It’s been ten hours since your last text to Bruce and he hasn’t even read it yet. 

Is he upset with you? It’s your first Valentines as a couple and you haven’t been able to spend the day together because work has kept you away. It’s a couple hours from midnight now and you have only just got back to Gotham. 

Should you call him? Not replying to your text is very out of character of Bruce. Even when he’s been upset in the past, he’s always been upfront about it with you about it. For him to suddenly change… 

Something else is going on, so you decide that you are going to give him a call. The line doesn’t even ring. Instead you’re sent directly to his voicemail. 

Now you are starting to get worried about him.

“Everything alright, Miss…?” your driver, Tom, asks you. He’s been your driver for the longest time and he’s one of the few people that you know you can trust. 

“Bruce hasn’t replied to my text and his phone went straight to voicemail,” you reply.

“Shall I drive you to Wayne Manor instead?” 

You shake your head as you scroll through your contact list. “No, my apartment is fine. I’m going to call Alfred. He might know what’s going on.”

“Of course.” 

You bring your phone back up to your ear as the line rings. Unconsciously, your leg starts to bounce as you wait for an answer. After the third ring, someone picks up the phone.

“Hello?” Alfred’s voice comes over the phone.

“Alfred! Thank goodness, I’m so sorry. I know it’s really late. I just. Bruce, he isn’t answering my texts and his phone went straight to voicemail.”

“Master Bruce left the Manor a few hours ago. Oh my, it would seem that he’s left his phone here.”

You laugh softly, relief rushing through you. “Of course he has. Okay, that’s good to know. Get him to call me when you see him next?” 

“I will see that he does. Have a good night Miss…” 

“Goodnight Alfred.”

You set your phone into your lap and sigh. He’s not upset with you, like you had been panicking about. He just forgot about his phone. Though it isn’t like him to be so absentminded. You remember him mentioning being concerned about a killer by the name of Calendar Man, but Alfred hadn’t mentioned Bruce going out tonight in his cape and cowl. And you’re sure that he would have. 

What was he doing tonight?

As the car drives through the streets of Gotham, you find your gaze focusing on the rooftops. Ever since you figured out what it is that your boyfriend does at night, you find your focus often drawn above you. Wondering if you’ll catch a glimpse of him. 

The drive from the airport to your apartment isn’t super long, thankfully. Before you know it, you’re climbing out of the car, accepting your bag from Tom and thanking him and making your way up to your apartment.

When you open the door to your apartment the first thing that you notice is the rose petals on the floor. The next thing you notice is all of the candles, casting a golden glow over your home. 

The biggest smile that you’ve ever had makes its way onto your face as you take in the sight of what Bruce has done. It’s no wonder to you now why he forgot about his phone. He was busy setting all of this up for you. 

You shut the door behind you, making sure to lock and chain it, and set your bag down onto the floor, alongside your suitcase.

Following the rose petals, they lead you to the dining room. The table is set. There’s a single flower vase with a red rose sitting inside of it and two empty wine glasses, waiting to be filled. The bottle of wine that sits next to them looks like it might have some dust on it, but it’s hard to tell in the candlelight. 

In the centre of it all, standing there and waiting for you, is Bruce. Looking like the picture of perfection. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says as he approaches you. His hand comes to rest on your hip as he pulls you toward him, which you protest against.

“Don’t! I need a shower; I’m all gross from the plane,” you complain as you push against him.

He chuckles softly. “I don’t care. I want to kiss my girl.” 

You give in and let him pull you flush against his body. He kisses you in that soft and sweet way that always sends butterflies fluttering in your stomach as your heart skips. You grip his suit jacket as you kiss him back. Your tongue gently prods at his bottom lip, seeking more from him, which Bruce gladly gives you. 

You pull away first, your smile immediately returning.  “You didn’t have to do all this, baby,” you say softly.

“Of course I did. You deserve to have a nice Valentines,” he replies. 

His words shouldn’t hit like they do, but you can feel yourself getting choked up. You haven’t had a great track record when it comes to past relationships. Something that Bruce keeps doing his best to make up for. Hiding your face away from him, you halfheartedly shove against his chest again.

“Stop, you’re going to make me cry.”

Bruce’s arms wrap around you, hugging you tightly. “So long as they’re happy tears. That’s all I’m going to accept tonight.”

You laugh and you look up at him. Now he’s looking at you in that way that sends your heart haywire, warmth blooming in your chest. His thumb swipes away a tear that’s slowly making its way down your cheek.

“Dinner still needs a little bit longer, so why don’t you go and take that shower?”

“Okay.” 

He gives you one more kiss, drawing a soft noise from you before he finally lets you go. You pause when you reach the doorway and look back at him. There is one thing that has been nagging at you ever since you walked through the door and saw the petals.

“How’d you know that I would be back in time?” 

He shrugs. “Because I’m Batman.”

You shake your head and laugh. “That’s the answer you’re really going for?”

“It hasn’t failed me yet. Now, go, shower! Or dinner will be ready and cold before you get out.”

“Alright, alright! I’m going!” 

The hot water feels great as it cascades over your body. After the long day that you’ve had, it’s very much needed. A part of you almost expects Bruce to join you, but you’re not disappointed when he doesn’t. You’d prefer that he keeps his eyes on dinner and not burn your apartment down because he’s busy having sex with you.

Besides, you’re sure that there will be plenty of that after dinner. 

You switch the water off and wrap a towel around your body. When you enter your bedroom, you find a dress laid out on your bed, waiting for you. It’s in your favourite colour and there’s a matching set of heels, sitting in an opened shoe box. As well as that there’s a couple of velvet jewellery cases. 

He didn’t. 

You pick up the smaller case and open it. Inside are a pair of diamond and sapphire earrings. You’re already sure that, in the bigger case, is a matching necklace. 

Even though you’ve told him he doesn’t have to, Bruce does love to buy you gifts. Though, if this is what he’s buying you for Valentine’s Day, you can’t imagine what he might do for your birthday.

Once you’re dry and dressed, you look at yourself in the mirror. Your makeup doesn’t do your outfit justice. It’s simpler than what you would have normally done, but you don’t have the time right now. 

A delicious scent is wafting into your bedroom, from the kitchen, and it’s making your stomach growl. 

If Bruce notices your toned down makeup, he doesn’t say a thing as you re-enter the dining room. His eyes take in the sight of you as he swallows thickly. Honestly, you’re convinced you could walk in wearing a burlap sack and he would still look at you the exact same way.

He gets up from his seat and walks over to you again.

“Look at you. Absolutely beautiful,” he says.

“Thank you. You really didn’t have to buy me all of this.”

“I know, but you deserve to be spoiled. And I will take every chance I get to do exactly that.” 

The moment is completely ruined by your stomach as it growls. Bruce chuckles and starts to lead you toward the table.

“Come on, I made your favourite.”

Once you’ve taken a seat, he pushes your chair in before taking his own seat. Your table isn’t huge like the one back at Wayne Manor. So you’re not miles from each other as he sits opposite of you. In fact, his knee presses against your own. 

The food looks amazing. The smell alone making your mouth watering as your stomach growls again. You tuck in immediately. Just as the first bite passes your lips, a moan leaves you. 

It tastes incredible. Of course, you expect nothing less from Bruce. He’s an excellent cook, when he has the time to dedicate to it. That being one of the things you learned early on, after the first night you had spent together.

The conversation between you two consists of Bruce asking about your day. Which you enthusiastically tell him about your new castmates and the script and how, for the first time in a long time, you’re actually excited about acting again. While you ask him about his biggest worry that he had mention, to which he tells you that Julian Day was caught earlier by the police. And both Arkham and Blackgate are quiet so there’s no worry about the Bat Signal pulling him away. 

He’s all yours.

When dinner’s finished, and you’ve got a couple of glasses of wine in your system, you decide to skip desert. Right now, all you want is Bruce.

From the dining room, you and Bruce move to the living room. Where he’s settled on the sofa with you straddling his lap as you make out. His tongue slides across your own, exploring every inch of your mouth. Meanwhile his hands remain high up on your waist, making no move to feel you up like you want him to.

It makes no sense to you considering that you can feel how hard he is. Even the smallest shift from you has him twitching in his pants. You decide to take things into your own hands.

From where your arms are wrapped around his neck, you slide a hand down his front, headed straight for his pants. Just before your finger tips come into contact with his belt, his hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“Am I not moving fast enough for you, princess?” he asks. The nickname sends a shiver down your spine, your body remembering all the things he’s done with you, and to you, after using it. 

You shake your head. “Not even close, babe.”

“I don’t want to rush things. Besides, I love kissing you and I haven’t been able to do it enough these last few weeks.” 

His words are sweet, making your cheeks heat up and warmth bloom throughout your body that isn’t due to the alcohol in your veins or your growing arousal. You kiss his jawline, following it toward his ear.

“There are other parts of me you can kiss, you know,” you whisper. 

“All in good time, sweet girl.”

Bruce directs your face back toward him so that he can resume kissing you. The hand that had hold of your wrist is now on the back of your back, keeping you right where he wants you. Meanwhile, the hand that’s on your waist starts to move away.

His hand slides down your side, coming down to rest on your thigh. Which he squeezes gently. As his tongue reenters your mouth, Bruce’s fingers slide beneath your dress, trailing up the inside of your thigh. All of your focus is now on his hand. The feeling of his calloused finger tips against your soft, smooth skin sends goosebumps erupting across your skin. 

The closer he gets to where you want him most, the more you start to ache with need. Just before he reaches your panties, he starts to move away again, trailing his fingers back toward your knee.

You whine against his lips, frustration starting to build up inside of you. He was so close! So close to finally giving you what you wanted! Why’d he stop? Bruce simply smirks as he continues to run his fingers up and down your leg.

“You’re very needy tonight, princess,” he coos. “I’d better fix that, huh?”

“Please,” you whine.

Bruce shushes you softly. His fingers trail back up your legs, dragging them slowly along the inside of your leg. 

His touch remains featherlight, but your body still jolts when he finally pushes his fingers against your panties. Right where your clitoris is. Gently, he starts to rub you through the soaked fabric.

Even the lightest touch feels amazing, pleasure already thrumming through you. Your lips part as a breathy moan of his name leaves you.

“No wonder you’re so needy. You’re absolutely soaked, sweetheart.”

“It’s your fault,” you tell him. “You make me like this.”

He hums and nods in agreement. “I had better look after you then, hmmm?”

“Please.”

You expect him to either slide your panties to the side or rip them off of you completely, but he does neither. Instead he keeps touching you through them. The only thing he changes is that he starts to use his thumb instead of his fingers.

He kisses you again as he rubs circles against your clit, swallowing your moans. His free hand comes up from your waist and upwards to cup and grope your breasts through your dress. 

You roll your hips, chasing after your pleasure that’s building up way faster than you thought that it would. But it’s really no wonder with how well Bruce knows your body. Knowing exactly how to touch you, both the pressure and speed needed to get you to your climax.

“Fuck,” you gasp. There’s no doubt in your mind that, with how quickly you’re approaching your end, that it’s feeding his ego. 

“You going to be a good girl and come for me?” he asks. He applies some more pressure, his rubbing becoming more insistent. 

Your breath is now coming out in short puffs as you can feel the tension coiling inside of you more and more. You’re so close. So fucking close, if he just keeps touching you like that… 

Your fingers grip his suit jacket like it’s your lifeline as your body shakes. Bruce talks you through it. His words filled with encouragement and praise as your orgasm rocks through you. 

Just as it starts to become way too much for you, he pulls his hand away. Your forehead comes to rest against his shoulder, your body still shaking from the intensity of your orgasm. He rubs your leg. Pressing soft kisses to the side of your neck and cheek, as you come down. 

“Always such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” 

You make a soft noise of agreement as your eyes close for a moment. Enjoying the feeling of the random patterns being traced and his lips on your skin. 

As your breathing calms down, you turn your head and capture his lips with your own again. At the same time, your hand trails back down his body. Following the exact same path as earlier.

He doesn’t stop you this time. You press your hand against the tent in his pants. A low groan leaves Bruce as you touch him. The sound making your pussy clench around nothing, sending another wave of arousal through you. 

Fuck, you need him inside of you.

“I think we should move this to the bedroom,” you suggest, pulling away. 

His eyes are dark, that steely blue of his iris a thin line against his pupil. While there is a light blush across his cheeks, which stands out a fair bit against his pale skin. 

“Definitely.”

Once he’s made sure your grip on him is secure, he stands up, bringing you with him. As he carries you toward the bedroom, you press kisses to his jaw and neck. Even going as far as to gently bite and suck on his neck, leaving behind a few lovebites in your wake. 

They’re in a rather visible spot, unless he wears a turtleneck. He, honestly, might just end up covering it up with the same makeup he uses to cover up the worst of the bruises he earns each night as Batman. Deep down, you hope that he doesn’t. You want him to show them off. Remind everyone that he’s all yours. 

Though, with how the media continues talking about you both, they likely don’t need it.

When you get to the bedroom, he sets you down. His hand quickly locates the zipper for your dress and, very slowly, he starts to pull it down. The action surprises you. You had expected him to rip it from you like he’s done to every other dress that he’s previously bought you. Bruce chuckles. 

“I love the way this dress looks on you far too much to ruin it just yet,” he says.

“Oh, I see. So I only get to keep dresses based on how you feel about them?”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Do you want me to ruin it?”

“No! I’m just in mourning over the other ones.”

He laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling as they shine with amusement. He kisses the tip of your nose. “I will buy a replacement for each one I’ve ruined, okay? Now, come on.”

With your dress fully unzipped, he eases it off of your shoulders and lets it fall into a pile on the floor, around your feet. He helps you step out of it and pushes you back toward the bed.

“Lay down,” he instructs you. 

You dutifully follow his order, settling down onto the bed. As you get comfortable, Bruce strips himself of his suit jacket and shirt. You drag your eyes down his body. Appreciating how well toned his body is. The scars that litter his body add to his sexiness.

“Enjoying the view?” he teases you. 

“Only fair considering you keep ogling my boobs,” you reply. The entire time he’s been undressing his top half, his eyes have kept glancing over, landing on your chest more often than not. Not that you mind. You like it when he’s ogling your body. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have some fun. 

“Well, I know your name now.”

His reply makes you shake your head as it prompts the memory of the night you first met him. Your dress had been completely scandalous that night, yet he had not looked at your chest once; claiming that doing so would be rude since he didn’t even know your name.

You cross your arms over your boobs, hiding them from his view, pretending to be annoyed with him. 

“That’s it. No more boobs for you.” 

Bruce chuckles as he shakes his head. He comes over to the bed and climbs onto the bed, draping his body over yours as he settles between your legs. He nuzzles his face against your neck. His kisses turn into light bites as he trails them down your skin. 

He nibbles at your collarbone, sending a shiver down your spine and making it really hard to keep your act up. When he reaches where your arms are still crossed against your chest, he kisses along the length of one of your forearms before pulling away. 

Supporting himself with one hand, he uses the other to gently pry your arms apart. You don’t do anything to fight him on it, letting him open your arms and reveal your breasts to him again.

“There you are.”

He litters your chest with kisses and lovebites. Starting at the top of one and trailing his way to the underside. His bites turn into licks as he gets closer to your nipple. Bruce swirls his tongue around the hardened bud before finally taking it into his mouth and starts to suck. 

You arch your back into his touch, a short gasp, bordering on a moan, leaving you. Like the tentative boyfriend that he is, he doesn’t neglect your other breast, using his free hand to squeeze and play with it. He lavishes your chest in affection. Kissing, biting and licking his way to the other. Where he repeats his actions. 

“Bruce,” you moan softly as you run your fingers through his hair, messing it up. You shift your hips beneath him, grinding against his cock. Your actions draw a deep groan from him and he rocks his hips into yours. Letting you know that two can play at that game.

He only stops so that he can trail his kisses down your body, past your naval and toward your truly soaked panties. He presses a firm kiss to your clit through the fabric, making you sharply inhale. Bruce doesn’t stop there. Instead he kisses and bites the inside of both of your thighs.

You love the sight of him between your legs. Whether it’s him eating you out or kissing where your thighs are most sensitive. His hair messy and pupils blown wide. Even better if his chin and mouth is shiny with your slick. It’s one of the best sights in the world to you. You wouldn’t mind keeping him there forever.

Deft fingers undo the buckles of your heels before sliding them off of your feet and letting them fall to the floor with a thud. As soon as they’re gone, your panties quickly follow as Bruce rips the fabric, as if it’s paper, and gets rid of them. You don’t care. Anything is good as long as it gets him inside of you faster. The longer that he draws this out, the more desperate that you are starting to become.

The ache between your legs is becoming unbearable as your clitoris throbs, begging for more attention from him. You want, no, you need him inside of you. You need to feel him stretching you open as he fills you up, making you feel impossible full.

“Brucie?” you call softly. He looks up at you from where he’s been drinking in the sight of the mess that your arousal and earlier orgasm have made of you. 

“Yes, princess?” 

“I need to feel you inside of me. Please? Please, fuck me?” 

You don’t even need to beg him for it. The way that he’s looking at you and how hard his cock feels against you. He was likely about to make a move to finally start fucking you to begin with. You just begged before he could make that move. 

With a speed that would be impressive if he wasn’t Batman, Bruce removes the rest of his clothing. He drapes his body back over yours, lining himself up with your entrance. 

There was a time when you used to be nervous about his size; he’s the biggest you’ve ever had after all. Now though? Now you wrap a leg around his waist and pull him down for another kiss as he starts to slowly slide into you.

You’re so wet that he easily enters you, bottoming out immediately. He feels absolutely amazing. Stretching your pussy and filling you up exactly the way that you want him to. Your head falls backwards, onto the pillow, as you moan.

“That feels better, doesn’t it, princess?” he coos softly. He’s stilled, letting you adjust to his size, like he always does. 

“Yes,” you reply, along with a nod. It really does. It’s insane how good he makes you feel.

As soon as you give him the go ahead to move, he does. Slowly he pulls out of you, leaving only the tip inside, before pushing back in. Each time he makes sure he’s hitting that sweet spot deep inside of you, drawing more moans from you.

“That’s it, sweet girl. Let me hear you,” he murmurs. He’s back to nuzzling and kissing your neck and jaw.

You could stay here, in this moment, forever. Your  bodies tangled up together, joined as one. Bruce slowly fucking you as his fingers played with your clit. 

Tonight has been something like you might read in some romance novel or see in some movie. At the same time they all paled in comparison. The real thing always being better.

Bringing your hands to his shoulders and push lightly. If Bruce didn’t want to move, he wouldn’t, but he follows your lead. Flipping your positions so that you are now on top. 

A deep groan leaves him as you start to bounce on his cock, your hands flat against his chest to support yourself. His hands are on your thighs, stroking them with his thumbs as he watches you ride him.

“Look at you. You look absolutely amazing sweetheart.” His voice sounds strained as he speaks. Much like earlier, his eyes are trained on your boobs, which bounce with each roll of your hips, along with the jewels around your neck. “You always look so good riding my cock.”

You laugh softly, which quickly turns into a moan. You can feel yourself getting close again. Your pussy squeezing and fluttering around his cock while the coil inside of you grows tighter and tighter. Bruce is getting close as well. While before he was holding back his moans, wanting to hear you instead, he’s growing more vocal as he starts to thrust up into you.

His thumb returns to your clit, sending you tumbling over the edge. You cry his name as your pussy clamps down onto him. Bruce falls over that edge with you, the way your squeezing him making it impossible for him not to, and he comes deep inside of you.

Boneless and spent, it’s easy for him to get you to lay on his chest. Both of you panting hard and becoming the only sound that can now be heard in the bedroom.

The feeling of him running random patterns against your back and the steady beating of his heart in your ear, soothes you. Almost sending you straight to sleep. It is rather late at night and you were previously on a long flight. You’re tired.

Before you can, you pull away from Bruce, muttering that you need the bathroom when he goes to stop you.

While you're in there, you make sure to remove your makeup and the expensive jewels he bought you, settling them back into their cases.

When you’ve finished up and re-enter the bedroom you come back to Bruce waiting for you with a glass of water and a slice of the cheesecake that had originally been for desert.

Grateful, you accept the glass and take a sip, before settling onto his lap like he wants you to. Bruce offers you a bite of the cheesecake which, again, you accept, groaning at the rich taste of it.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” he asks you, as if the answer isn’t the most obvious thing in the world.

“Tonight was perfect, Bruce. Thank you.”

“Anything for my girl,” he tells you. The kiss is soft and sweet; you smile into it. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” 

There really aren’t enough words in the world for you to describe or tell him how much you love him. Something tells you that it’s the same for him as well.

The cheesecake slice is shared between the two of you. He continues to feed you each bite. Once the plate is empty, he sets it down the nightstand. Bruce moves you both down the bed, getting you settled against his chest and pulls the covers up over you both.

You snuggle against him, your focus returning to his heartbeat as you let your eyes close this time and fall fast asleep, in the arms of your lover.

You don’t know how life can get much better than this.

[yaut-jaknowit]

Hello can I have an ask about reader who came from our world who is a big fan of predators who can read, write and speak their language and fight like them too gets teleported to yautja prime and I guess she was looking around for shelter and she found a clan so she entered their clan grounds hoping she doesn't get killed and she found a pyramid (from what I remember seeing in one of the movies) which turns out to be where the clan has its important meetings. And the elder clan leader let's call him Kar'dokh (if you don't mind) was having meeting with other nearby clans so reader accidently enters the meeting room filled with other clan leaders and their most trusted soldiers standing by their side and the silence was LOUD

Reader: .... 

Kar'dokh and the other clan leaders: .... 

*Kar'dokh gets up about to kill her*

*Reader speaks in yautja*: wait I mean no harm I swear!! 

And like all of the yautjas were flabbergasted to find this out and they were suspicious of her cause how does a human know so much about their people? (cause in the world no human ever went to yautja prime) so word got out and everyone wanted to see the human including people from other clans, so fast forward reader and kar'dokh got close -e ends up liking her try's courting her but she pretends to be oblivious to it

Kar'dokh: ooman

Reader: yes? 

Kar'dokh: why do you refuse to be my mate? Am I not a worthy enough male for you? I have you know I have strong seed to sire strong pups so why do you refuse me? 

Reader: what...? What do you...huh? Kar'dokh you are an alien I wouldn't even be able to give you children! 

Kar'dokh: my people's technology can fix that issue so be my mate

Reader: I... I can't 

Kar'dokh: and why not? 

Reader: because I'm human!!! 

Kar'dokh: not valuable reason. Try again

Reader: why do you even like me!?!? Kar'dokh: because I am attracted to you

Reader: *tip toe’s and manages to grab him by the shoulders* raise your standard!!!!

Kar'dokh: *slams hand into metal and puts a deep dent into it then proceed to grab her by the risk*

AND BOOM he pounces on her, corners her against the wall gets her to confess her feelings and they do the super Spicy boombayah doggie style😉

And she somehow got pregnant a few days later 

SORRY FOR IT BEING LONG!!!!! 

To Another Realm

Pairings: Kar'dokh (male yautja) x AFAB!Reader

Word Count: 5271

Summary: After being transported to another realm where yautjas are real, you learn to survive. With the help of Kar'dokh. A clan leader of a strong tribe. If it wasn't for him, you would've been long dead your first day. Close proximity and his help made the two of you grow close. To the point there was no space between you two.

Author Note: IM SO SORRY ITS TAKEN ME FOREVER TO GET TO THIS. I've been so busy. Work just changed my 6-2 to a 10-6 and I'm now moving an hour away. So I'll be taking a small break as well for that for writing probably. Maybe... I don't know.

Also! I do have a patreon now: link There are three tiers. Those get the post earlier. Everything will still come out. I'm tweaking things as I go.

Masterlist

Ao3

Wind rushes passed you. The ground comes and meets your face with a dull thud. Blackness is all you see.

A throat-tearing gasp wracks your body. You sit up rapidly and start to violently cough, trying to figure out how to steady your breathing. It takes a moment to steady yourself enough to wipe away the tears from your face and gaze around. What you saw wasn’t what you were expecting.

Jungle. Tall, lumbering trees towered high above you. Heat and humidity smacked you in the face. The air was hard to breath. It felt like there wasn’t enough oxygen, like you had been shoved onto of a mountain without any time to acclimate. You struggled to your feet and glanced around. The area felt weird. It was as if your internal compass was thrown off completely.

Where were you?

Only thing you could feel besides the confusion was dread. A heavy thing to sit in the pit of your belly, weighing you down. You placed over your heart and took in deep, calming breathes. A difficult thing to do when it feels like you’re slowly suffocating. You pushed through the dread and began to move in a random direction. There had to be some sort of clue to as where you are… and how you got here. The last thing you say doesn’t correspond to waking up in a forest!

Due to the lack of air, you could only walk at a moderate pace. That already had you panting slightly. The terrain was rough and unsteady. Thick foliage, fall giant trees, wide creeks, and boulders made the trip all the more difficult. You had to push forward though and find some sort of clue. Sweat and humidity sticks to your skin like a sheet. Your clothes sticking to you uncomfortably. No matter how much you pulled the drenched clothing away from your skin.

Hours, or what felt like hours of traveling, later, you spotted something through the foliage. It rivaled the trees height. A structure! You immediately started to quickened your pace and race through the foliage, not caring if the branches tore at your clothing and skin. You panted heavily by the time you pushed past the lush bush. You stood there and dragged your gaze up, up, up until you find the top. It was a pyramid. A pyramid in the middle of the jungle. Was this somewhere that had Aztec or Mayan buildings? That’s all you could come up with.

It was in pristine state, as if you had been transported back in time. Like this was the day it was built. You can’t recall anything from anywhere that had something like this. With your heavy breathing, you had to stand there for at least ten minutes, under a tree, catching your breath. The sun was harsh. It felt like you were in a desert, in middle of the day. It nearly burned your skin by standing out in it for a short period of time. You glanced at the building after catching your breath once more. You wanted to go inside. Who knows what’s beyond its walls? Could be an earth shattering record?

With a deep breath you pushed onward and stepped into the blazing sun. Even the intensity felt off, the rays as well. Yet, you didn’t have an idea on what is happening. Besides this being a terrible dream. Stuck in a hot, humid jungle with no phone, no map, no clue where you were. A hopeless situation to be put into with your lonesome.

Large stairs that reached your knees slowed your ascend. Halfway up, you had to stop and take a moment. “This. Is. Bullshit,” you muttered to yourself then continued up the stairs. The material was textured and a deep ruby red with blocks of black. It was beautiful despite you sweating all over it. Does a dream really make you sweat this much?

By the time you had reached the top steps, you feel faint, ready to fall back down the stairs you just climbed. You stumbled your way into the entrance, thankful for the cover. The sun had done a number on your skin. The heat that radiated off of you could make water boil off of you. Your back touches a wall before you slide down to sit. Your legs were more than thankful for the rest. There had to be at least on-hundred steps. Minimum. It was worse since they were made for bigger people.

All because you wanted to see the inside. This better be worth it.

Once you felt stable, thirty minutes later, you weakly stood up. Your legs wobbled when you took a step. You continue on and follow your way inside. Only to realize it had a stairwell. You growled and glared at the damn thing. Then, you take the slow and approach of climbing down each step. It wasn’t much to complain about. Only about two flights until you reached the first floor. Now, it was time to explore.

There was something in the air that had you on alert. Either from the creepiness or from the fact you felt like you were crossing into forbidden territory. You tread quietly, peered around corners before doing down that hallway. The place felt like a maze, meant to drag you deeper and deeper into the depths. Until you from yourself all the way at the bottom level.

That; s when you realize that the only reason you’re able to see is from fire lamps. Lamps that have to be lit by someone. You stopped in your tracks and looked at the walls. In your blind stupor, you didn’t think to look at the walls. Walls that are decorated with stone carvings. Carving that made you think of the movie ‘AVP’. This is really a dream.

You walked up to the carving and gently ran a hand over the smooth stone. Beautiful work. Someone had poured their heart into the crafting a story into the stone. Your gaze drifts over the art work and followed the story down the hallway. All the way to a grand door at the end of the hallway. It was too carved with a mixture of stone, word, and some sort of ore. You stopped in front the door with your jaw dropped.

Curiosity got the best of you. Both of your hands were place on one of the doors.; With all of your weight and strength, you pushed open the door. Your head was ducked down as you struggled the entire time. Just enough until you could slip between the new crack. You stepped into the room and instantly freeze on the spot. That dreadful feeling only intensified… tenfold. You picked up your head and had to cut off a gasp.

Tens of eyes stared at you bright, fierce gazes that looked ready to tear into you. Your muscles locked in place as you stared out at the group. You recognized them. Yautjas. These were Yautjas. Twenty or so. All of them staring at you. Your heart pounding in your chest, trying to escape from the situation you’ve put yourself into.

At the end of the long, formal table, one grand looking Yautja stood up abruptly. Others following suit. The first on marched around everyone and advanced swiftly towards you. You stumble backwards and smacked into the closed door behind you.

Two long blades slid out and glinted off the low light from the fire lamps. Your eyes about bulged out of your head as you looked at the approaching Yautja. Seeing them in movies was far different than seeing on in person. Not that you ever thought you would see one like this. Your hands lifted up in a complacent manner, as if you were trying to call down an angered animal.

“Wait!” you screamed, using a language you never though to use. The Yautja stopped in his tracks his muscles tense. Everyone else pausing as well. “Don’t… don’t kill me.” The unused language was choppy on your tongue. You never thought you would ever use it. Not that you had anyone to use it with.

Surprise over took his anger in the moment. His eyes roamed from head to toe. “You spoke.” It was a statement rather than a question. The words takes a long few seconds to register in your brain. A bit of excitement flares to life inside of you at the knowledge you understand him.

Timidly, you nodded your head. “Yes. Did. Not well.” You did your best to communicate with him, hoping to keep yourself alive. The other Yautjas with him, hoping to keep yourself alive. The other Yautjas behind him glanced at each other, confusion evident in their eyes. Some looked angry. One stepped out from the group and tried to bypass the main Yautja standing less than ten feet from you. He sticks his arm out and stops the other one.

“No, Taural,” he growled but didn’t let his bright vibrant eyes off of you. You felt like a deer in headlights, just waiting for them to do something. For them to decide your fate. There was no running, no fleeing. You couldn’t outrun them, there was no chance of escape. You had to think smart.

The one he stopped snapped his head towards the larger male. “It’s a ooman, Kar'dokh! On Yautja Prime. It needs to be killed,” Taural spat at the brown Yautja. Your heart leapt into your throat. Kill you?! But-but, you’re not a threat, you have no weapons. They have no reason to kill you!

“No.” Such a firm statement that left nothing to be argued. “Return to your seats. Now.” A command that left everyone only to followed. They followed his order with little resistance. Some glanced back at you with murderous intent. Part of you was thankful for the mercy while the other was afraid what he might have in store for you.

Kar'dokh approached you once more with a stern look in his eyes. Instantly, like a cornered animal, your first thought was to throw a punch. But, you didn’t want to give a reason to kill you. Don’t be a threat. He stopped directly in front of you. A towering form that made you feel like you were going to shit yourself. Your heart raced and felt like it was going to leap directly into his hands.

He leaned down and got directly into your face. You tried to turn your head away but he grips your chin and forces your head back. “No threat. Can’t… kill me,” you continued in choppy Yautja. The fear that gripped your heart squeezed hard. All you could do was stand there, under his scrutiny. Your eyes pleading for your life to be spared. Because if your memory served you right, from all the knowledge about these guys, they shouldn’t be allowed to harm or kill you in any way. You aren’t a threat and hold no weapons.

“How do you know?” he growled out lowly and tightened his grip on your chin. You since. “How did you get here?” You could see the questions swirling in his eyes the longer you he stared at you. He was trying to figure out where and how you got here.

Longer you stood there pinned to the wall, you grew more lightheaded. Either from the anxiety that ran through you or the lack of oxygen was starting to get to you. Maybe it was the fear of death right in front of you. Or maybe it was a combination of all of that. Your breathes started to come out fast the longer you were pinned. Darkness began to crowd your vision.

“I-I’m gonna pa-pas out,” you alerted to him before everything went dark. You collapsed on the ground. Kar'dokh letting you dropped. The last thing you remember is being picked up.

By the next time you woke up, you felt a bit refresh. Your eyes blinked open to stare up at a patterned, carved ceiling. Carving like the ones you’ve seen on the pyramid walls. Your brows furrowed at the sight. What? You sat up and rubbed at your eyes. The scene didn’t change. You had just woke up. What in the world were you still in this dream? Fear started to fill your stomach. No… surely, this was a dream. Was this a dream?

Then, a door opening caught your attention. Your head snapped over towards the sound. Kar'dokh was walking into the room, head held high. He stopped besides the cot you had been placed on during your forced nap. Stunned, you peered up at him, heart thundering again. “What happened?” you asked, speaking in your normal language now. Then, you felt the blanket that had been laid on you, slip down. That’s when you realize the room you were in was a medical room. And it didn’t feel like you were suffocating anymore.

His nearness was frightening. To see him crowd into your space without any remorse for scaring you terribly. A grumbled came from the towering, brown giant. “Our planet’s atmosphere isn’t designed for oomans.” His voice! He spoke in Yautja but a monotone voice sounded in your ear. A translator.

It’s thought that they breathe nitrogen more than oxygen. They can survive in our atmosphere than us in theirs. “A regulator has been added to our respiratory system.” Kar'dokh leaned into closer into your space. Your natural reaction was to move away but he snatched your throat and tugged you back. “Now, that I know you won’t die before I get my answers: start talking.”

Worst of all, you don’t know the true answer to his questions. He didn’t look like he would accept ‘I don’t know’ as an answer either. You forced down the lump in your throat. “Uh, what was the questions again?” you asked in a small voice. As much as you wanted to shy away and hide, the grip he had on your chin was firm. There was no escape.

He scowled at you and tightened his hold on you for a moment. “How did you get here? Who brought you onto our planet?” The deepness and anger in his voice was laid thick over you. It rattled you deep to the bones. Fear gripped your heart. The more you looked at Kar'dokh, the more you noticed how decorated he was. Kar'dokh was covered with plenty of bones and scars. From your knowledge, he must be a well decorated hunter or possibly an elder… or a clan leader. That had your heart dropping to the floor, at his feet. You whimpered quietly and closed your eyes, trying not to faint again.

“Answer me!”

Your whole body jerked from him but he brought you back to his space. “I don’t know! I don’t know! I promise. I woke up in the middle of the jungle. I-I walked around and found this place. I don’t know how I got here. Honestly!” you had to plead to him. Hopefully, he’d see the honesty in your eyes, hear it in your voice. You cracked open an eye to read his face.

The gears in his brain were spinning. Kar'dokh growled then let go of your chin. With a yelp, you fell back and nearly fell off the cot if it wasn’t for him grabbing the collar of your shirt. He hauled you back up into a sitting position. Far too close. You could see the speckles in his eyes. Beautiful but deadly. This creature could easily hurt and kill you with a fraction of his strength. The only reason you are alive currently was you weren’t a threat nor an honorable kill. Those… others wanted to kill you with little remorse or pause. Was that honor rule not true? If that was the case, you were a walking corpse. Soon to be a skull on the wall. Nothing more than a trophy.

Kar'dokh eases off of your shirt until he knew you won’t fall backwards again. “Thanks,” you murmured and drifted your face down towards the cot again. Your hands were folded in your lap, nervously playing with each other. “I’m being honest. I promise. I don’t know how I got here. I don’t even know where I am. This isn’t earth, is it?” You gazed back up at him, eyes large and wide.

The two of you entered a short staring contest until he sighed and took a step back. “I believe you, ooman. I don’t smell another on you.” The brown Yautja leaned forward and sniffed you for a moment. “You do smell… strange.” Was that a good or bad thing? He stood back up and stared down at you from over his mandibles. “Do answer me this: how do you know that we can’t harm you?” Your breath got caught in your throat. Was it wise to release such information to him? Would he think you as insane?

But, the only way was to get through all of this is to be honest. From there, it would be up to Kar'dokh if you are to live. Putting your life in someone’s hands.

“Okay… you might not believe me though.” From there, you went into explaining what your world is like. Going deeply into about how Yautjas are a fake species, made up. All of them a fantasy that someone made up… until now. Kar'dokh took all of it. His stern face a wall of impassible features. Not even his eyes gave away a single emotion. By the end, you finally stopped and watched him closely.

During your whole talk, he had grabbed a chair. Kar'dokh stood up and uncrossed his arms. “All you’ve said is… unrealistic, though you arriving on Yautja Prime is also next to unrealistic. Oomans aren’t allowed on Yautja Prime but… you are  a special case now. If what you say is true then you must be kept alive.” That made a cold drop drip down your spine. What could that mean?

From that day, you were under lock and key by Kar'dokh or in a medical-like room. They would run tests on you yet they couldn’t come up with anything logical for your situation. In the meantime, you got to learn more than ever about them. Probably the first and only humans to step foot on Yautja Prime. Alive. It took time to get Kar'dokh to open up but your excitement about learning their culture and language inevitably softened him up enough. That’s when you learned more about him. Plenty for a well decorated warrior and clan leader to talk about.

Two years after you first dropped down onto their planet, the scientists were still scratching their heads. They haven’t figured out how you’ve made it here. They were able to find out you weren’t from their universe. Something about your cells were different. That’s as far as they’ve gotten about your situation.

On a different hand, you’ve gotten further with Kar'dokh to the point he allows you free roam of his home and the clan he leads. There was a strict no harming or killing on you. He had his name and symbol burned into your skin to ensure everyone knew you were off limits. Everyone kept a wide berth when it came to you. Rarely did anyone talk or looked at you. Something you used to your advantage. For the most part. Until you wanted to learn about their culture more.

Back in the comfort of Kar'dokh’s home, you were studying the language. A soft, thin, knitted blanket laid over your legs while you were curled on the couch in the living room. The language… was different. But Kar'dokh was more than helpful when it came to speaking and writing. Listening, that’s a whole different story. That’s all on you. Your brain is completely scrambled trying to understand the different clicks and trills they make.

With a groan, you flopped back against the back of the couch and tilted your head back, eyes closed. A familiar presences hovered over you, blocking out the light. You cracked open an eye then softly smiled at him with no teeth showing. “Hello, Kar'dokh. Come here to gloat about my struggles?” you teased him.

The brown Yautja placed his hands on the top of the couch and leaned over you. His long, dark tresses curtained around his head. “What are you struggling with?” he asked you, features soft and calm. You continued to gaze up at him. “I told you I’m here to help you.” He has changed since the first day you met him. You’ve cracked past his hard exterior to see how soft and kind he could be. You sat up and brought up the sheet of paper you were on. Kar'dokh grabbed it and looked at it closely.

Kar'dokh snorted then used a sharp nail to flick off the translator right behind your ear. Then, he began to speak in Yautja. “What it is saying is…” he spoke the word but it didn’t register in your brain. The confusion etched in your features stated you didn’t understand it. At all. Kar'dokh repeat it a few times. “Now, you try it.” The course of two years has greatly improved your Yautja speech and understanding. There are moment when you struggle… but Kar'dokh is there to catch you before you fall.

At first, the word choppily fell from your lips. Kar'dokh was patient in helping you get the word. The different facial structures definitely made it all the harder. Yet, Kar'dokh was patient with you the entire time. Even if it took all day for you to finally get it.

Once you finally got it, Kar'dokh purred and grinned at you. He combed his fingers carefully through your hair. “You did so well. I’m proud of you,” he praised to you.

In the pit of your stomach, butterflies erupted to life. Your eyes softly shut as you enjoyed the comfort his presence and touch offered. “Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you,” you muttered softly in Yautja. The words were starting to fall from your lips with ease. His nails raked across your scalp. You sunk further into the couch with a deep groan.

A chuckle comes from the brown Yautja. You feel his presence grow closer, his heat washing over you like a blanket of comfort. One of your eyes barely cracks open to see his bright yellow one staring directly at you. You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face.

Without thinking, you leaned up and pecked him on one of his mandibles.

The whole world froze. Your heart dropped to your stomach. Internally, you were cursing at yourself. You flinched and tried to slip off the couch to put some distance between the two of you. When a hand snatched the back of you neck, lifted you over the couch, and dropped you right in front of Kar'dokh. Your shoulders scrunched up, eyes not daring to look him in the eye.

Rough finger pads gripped your chin and forced you to look directly at him. A lump began to grow in your throat the longer you stared at him.

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I just-I don’t know. It just happened. I do have feelings. I don’t know if you did. And I probably just ruined what friendship we had. Now you’ll probably hate me. Please, don’t. I don’t know what I wo-“ a tongue was shoved into your mouth and promptly shut you up. Your eyes fluttered shut.

An arm snaked around your waist and tugged you close to a feverish body. Your own arms wrapped around a sturdy neck. Kar'dokh guided you towards the nearest wall and trapped you between him and it. You are forced to pull back and pant for breath. The back of your head resting against the wall.

“That’s one way to make me shut up,” you teased him and leaned up on your tippy toes to place a kiss to his lower mandible. “I’m not complaining though.” Kar'dokh growled lowly in the back of his throat and dove back into another kiss. You immediately responded in haste, hands roaming over his shoulders and felt up his powerful body.

As your hands dipped lower, Kar'dokh pressed himself harder against you. One of his legs pressed between your legs and forced them open. You gasped into the kiss but he doesn’t let you pull away this time. A rough textured hand palms at your hip for a moment before dipping under the hem of your shirt. The difference in temperature has your hair standing on edge. He continues to grope at your newly exposed skin.

For a moment, he moves back a fraction to give you a moment to take a breath. His large, brown forehead was pressed to your own. Piercing yellow eyes stare directly into yours. The hand under your shirts drifts up and skims under the swell of your unbound breasts. You gasped and arched your back, pressing yourself more into his touch. His eyes flared with fire, mandibles twitching wider.

There’s a long second passed before he rips your shirt off of your body and frees your torso. Kar'dokh’s gaze was immediately admiring the new skin he exposes. Both of his hands palm at the supple, soft skin of your breasts. Large thumbs toys over your nipples and draws them into peaks. You whined and curled your hands into fists. One snagging a dark tress of his. He purred deeply and pressed his mouth to yours again in a fierce fight for the top. Kar'dokh easily overtakes you.

You tugged on his tress. His dark nails dig into your ribcage then he pinched and twisted one of your nipples. A gasp tore at your throat and forced you to pull away from him. Your hips rutted down on the thigh between them.

“Kar, no more teasing. Please, I can’t take it anymore,” you begged him, breathless. His irises darkened.

With the open invitation, Kar'dokh simply rips off your pants and under in one move. A yelp escapes from your throat but he ignores it. The brown Yautja bumps his knee further up and grinds against your exposed slit. Heat flushed to your cheeks at the feeling of a dripping mess making its way to his thigh.

Drool drips down his jaw. Kar'dokh grips your hips and easily lifts you off of the ground, keeping you pinned to the wall. Instinctively, your legs attempted to wrap around his waist but he was larger than you. He uses his hips to hold you up as he undoes his loincloth and tosses it to the side. Your gaze is drawn downwards.

Hot and heavy. Kar'dokh’s alien cock is nestled between your thighs, resting on your stomach. The tip reaches your belly button easily. Oh shit. You felt yourself clench around nothing at the sight.

One last look in your eyes, he draws his hips back. The tapered, neon green tip was pressed to your entrance. Then, with a swift thrust, he lodges himself as deep as possible, only able to get about halfway in. Your back arches off of the wall as a wail falls from your lips. The sheer size of him makes it hard for your walls to even clench around him.

Kar'dokh uses a hand to ensnare your throat and forced you to look at him. “I know you can take more.” Another draw and thrust of his hips makes the rest of him fit snuggly inside of you. The feeling of him overwhelmed you. It felt like he was touching every nerve inside of you. Maybe he was.

A deep groan falls from his alien mouth. His eyes fluttering, on the verge of shutting at the exquisite feeling of you wrapped snuggly around him. “That’s it. I knew you could take it, little one. Mm, you’re so tight,” he muttered under his breath. Kar'dokh refocused on the task on hand.

The pace at first was sloppy, unsteady until he found the perfect beat. Loud slaps echoing throughout the living room. Your hand was still wrapped around his tress firmly, using it as a lifeline. Your jaw dropped as each thrust forced the air out of your lungs.

“Yes, yes. Perfect. Been wanting to do this-ugh, for so long. Make you my mate. Gonne breed you. Have my pups,” he rambled amidst the brutal fucking he provided. His claw dug into your hips and held you in place.

You couldn’t the snort that left you as you tried to stay sane. “T-that’s n-ah, no possible, Kar.” From what you know of, it shouldn’t be. No matter how potent their seed is. Or the fact the tip of his shaft was slamming against you cervix with each rut into you.

Black nails dug deeper into your flesh, threatening to break the barrier. “Doesn’t matter. Our technology will fix that,” he growled back and doubled his efforts. Your reply was cut off with a high pitched whine. The brutalness was wrecking to your smaller frame. There wasn’t a chance you would be able to walk tomorrow.

He leaned further into your space and buried his face into the crook of your neck. His long, pink tongue slithered over your salty flesh, tasting you. Blood pool around the nails that finally pierced the flesh of your hips.

“You’re mine. My mate!” Your pants grew whiny. You had no choice but to hold on as the first wave of your orgasm started to wash over you. Your eyes crossed as the pleasure became overwhelming.

Fangs bite down into the crook of your neck, scaring as his mate. With a deep, resonating snarl, Kar'dokh hips go flush with yours. You mewled at the feeling of his throbbing cock taking up every available space inside of you then some more. Spurts of cum began to fill your insides.

None of it was able to spill out and be of waste. Something was lodged just shy of your entrance, plugging you up. You squirmed in his hold and tried to figure it out what it was. Then, the light bulb went off.

A knot. Kar'dokh had knotted you. The thought sent a shiver down your spine. He really was doing everything he can to make you pregnant. He unlatched his teeth from your shoulder and licked at the dribbling blood.

At first, you smiled. That turned into a smirk and soon enough, you were laughing softly, soaking in the dopamine in your system. Kar'dokh’s licking stopped. The brown Yautja pulls away to look you in the eye, confused on your laughter.

“I don’t know how this will work. You won’t be able to get me pregnant,” you explained to him again, trying to get the point across. “Why do you even like me? I’m a human.”

One hand detaches the claws in your hip to grip at your chin. “It’s because I am attracted to you. Ooman or not, you are attractable both physically and mentally.” Oh… that’s really sweet of him. Your cheeks flushed with heat again. You couldn’t even duck your head off to the side.

“Then, you need to raise your standards, Kar. Or you just need to get out more often.” Kar'dokh responded with a snort and returned to nuzzling into the crook of your neck. He doesn’t entertain your words. Instead, he holds you in his arms, waiting for his knot to deflate.

So he could do it all over again.

Sure enough, a human can get pregnant by a Yautja.

[irregularcollapse]

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about how you feel about the mota fandom and what happened to you :/ I meant to send a message earlier but life got in the way. I hope you're feeling better now, and I can only tell you that your fics and writing are some of my favorite in the fandom. Just by reading your stories, I can tell the care that was put into choosing each word to best convey the story and the characters' feelings, and it is really somethinf I admire :) I hope I can be as good a writer as you someday ❤️ And for the mota fandom, I totally get what you and that anon said! If you'll allow me a bit of a rant, to me, the mota fandom is full of well-intentioned people but I found that one of its problems is that, as much as there is enthusiasm, it is going in circles. Many have said it and I've noticed it too, but some have a tendency to jump on other people's ideas without giving credit or even asking if it's okay to expand, and on more than one occasion I found one of my ideas in someone else's inbox just a week after I'd posted it which threw me off posting any kinds of hc or random ideas, I only post full fics now because I'm scared that people will see an idea/au that they like on my blog and decide to expand on it without my consent or even crediting me for the original idea :/ To me that sucks because what I love about creating is the interactions with people, but because of the seldom posting except for full fics I don't get much 😂 And I know I could post snippet or hc, but the overenthusiasm bordering on no fandom manners that I've noticed stops me from doing that. Also, as a writer, it is quite discouraging to see people constantly reccing the same 5/6 fics/authors. Don't get me wrong, those are GREAT fics and authors, but babes, there are over 1,000 works in the clegan tag on ao3, why are we constantly reccing the same fics as in summer 2024. It feels like people only read the fics with the highest hits count, and from an outsider's pov, you'd think there are only 10 writers in the mota fandom 😭 I don't if it's bc the mota fandom is new so there are a lots of people from tiktok/that weren't on tumblr/in fandom before but it truly feels like fandom manners are getting lost, despite the plethora of incredible creators in the mota fandom. So there's this opposition between the enthusiasm over new ideas that seems to die down as soon as a story is posted, except if if it's one of the big fics from the summer. Imo the actual recognition of fics doesn't follow the enthusiasm of ideas and hcs, which is a bit of a shame I think, and to be quite honest, it made me lose my motivation to write for mota bc it just feels like I'll post a fic, it'll get traction for maybe a day or two, and then it'll be forgotten somewhere when people sort ao3 by number of hits or kudos

Anyway that was quite long I'm sorry, you don't have to answer this at all, I just needed to get this off my chest, but I really hope you know that even if it may not feel that way, you are an amazing writer, who clearly loves your stories, the characters and the words you use, and that is translated to the ao3 page <3 You truly are one of the most talented fic writers this fandom has, and I'd support you and your stories in whatever fandom you may be in ❤️

I assure you, anon, that you're not the only person to feel this way! I've had quite a few private conversations with friends and mutuals about really similar experiences and observations, and how disheartened and uncomfortable it's making us feel.

I guess people don't say anything because they don't want to be seen as sowing discord or being mean. I know that there are going to be people who might see this and interpret it as me "fuelling fandom discourse" or "fandom wanking" or "being a cunt" but actually I'm just talking about how we treat creators in online spaces, and the way that people en masse have apparently forgotten that creators in fandoms are people.

I had another anon tell me that someone laid claim to one of their ideas in the tags of their headcanon post, and I don't think you're the only person whose idea has been stolen and passed to another writer. I'm really sorry that's happened to you, and you're so right to not feel like posting anything because of it! This is truly the kind of stuff that makes people not want to participate or put themselves out there. Sometimes it's even writers doing the stealing, blatantly and without credit. It makes me think that a lot of people haven't shared creative spaces before and don't know how to be polite.

I also 100% agree about the fic rec thing. It's really disheartening to see the same fics passed around over and over again, not only from a writer perspective but a reader perspective. Something that seems to have emerged in fandom spaces over the years is deifying certain authors of popular fics - fic authors being treated like celebrities, the concept of a "must-read fic", even people only reading fics and authors that are already seen as popular/successful. I get that some people don't want to spend time scraping ao3 for niche fics, that's super understandable, but that's also why it would be nice to see a bit more adventure and variety in fic rec lists!

There is a low-key competitive feeling which a few people have mentioned to me - the feeling that there are people who want to "win" fandom or be the most popular/most reccd/most recognised writer, or whatever it may be. I just feel like anything that makes people feel like they're better than others is... come si dice... not good. I think it's a shitty way to treat people you're sharing a creative space with, to view them as competition and commodity.

Writing for consumption or writing for audience approval isn't something I've ever done, but I feel like it's cropping up more and more in fandom spaces too - not just MOTA, either. That's sort of a different discussion, but I do feel it's related to the copying/stealing in a way as well.

Now I also have to apologise for this getting too long! I'm glad you got it off your chest, and please feel free to come off anon at any time, because you've got an ally in me (and others too, I assure you). I think that everything you've said here merits consideration from everyone, at the very very least! It's in the interest of pursuing a more inclusive, supportive fandom space.

Thanks heaps as well for saying nice stuff about my writing! I only ever want to tell stories, and to give people something to enjoy that has clearly been created with care and consideration. I write to express things I want to express, and so it means a lot to me when other people see what I'm trying to say and pick up what I'm putting down. Truly madly deeply, my most boundless thanks!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[sequinsmile-x]

All of You, All of Me (Intertwined)

It's Valentine's Day.

It also happens to be Emily and Aaron's first date.

-x-

Hi besties <3

Happy Valentine's Day. I know it's a hallmark holiday, but I love love (brb I'm having flashbacks to my Percy Bysshe Shelly module in my English Lit A-Level) and I love all of you!

So, even if you don't celebrate - I hope you enjoy this. It's very soft, a little silly and hopefully funny in parts <3

As always, let me know what you think! -x-

Warnings: None

Words: 3.3k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

“How about this one?” 

Emily looks over at JJ, sighing when she sees the card she’s holding up, the word love practically flashing at her from the design, “No, JJ. It can’t say ‘love’ on it.”

JJ blows out a steady breath and nods as she puts the card back before she smiles and picks up a new one.

“This one has a train on it,” she says, her smile irritatingly close to a smirk as she holds it up. Emily glares at her as she snatches it from her, careful to make sure she doesn’t bend the card as she places it back in the rack. 

“That’s the card Ralph Wiggum gives Lisa in The Simpsons,” she grumbles, blowing out a breath as she looks at all the cards and groans, “This is hopeless.” 

“Okay, what about this one?” JJ says, holding up another one, “It’s got a pun about pizza.” 

Emily sighs, “JJ - if you’re not going to help-”

“Em, you’re overthinking this,” JJ cuts over her, her smile kind, the teasing edge of it softening as she tucks the card with a cartoon slice of pizza on it back in its spot, “It’s just a card.” 

Emily rolls her eyes, “Of course, I’m overthinking it,” she looks around them and lowers her voice, making sure none of the other people in the store overhears her, “I’m finally going on my first date with Aaron and it’s on fucking Valentine’s Day.” 

When Aaron first asked her out on a date, the taste of finally on the air, she’d been as close to giddy as she ever remembered feeling. Excitement bubbling in her gut as she thought of them taking the step she’d been hoping they would for months. Somewhere along the way, he’d become her best friend, the person she trusted most in the world, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. She spent most of her spare time with him and Jack, and when she was with them she felt safer, felt more at home, than she thinks she ever had. 

She loved him. She knew she did, had even admitted it to Penelope and JJ that she did after one too many drinks on a recent girl's night, but it scared her. Made her feel vulnerable, flayed open whenever he was around. He managed to sneak under every barrier she’d ever built around herself, the foundations of them shaky after everything that had happened with Ian and her time in Paris. She loved Aaron, could see herself having everything with him, but she’d been nervous to move past friendship because she was worried about losing him if everything went wrong. 

In the end, he was the one who’d jumped for them both. His smile soft and nervous as he asked her if she wanted to go for dinner with him. It had taken her a second to realise what he was asking, her feelings for him clouding the usual intelligence she prided herself on, but it had been enough for him to start to doubt himself. He’d started to trip over his words, his eyes slightly wide, and then she kissed him, something about his nervousness that she found reassuring. The confirmation she needed that she made him feel just as flustered as he made her. 

Organising their date had, as it turned out, been the hardest part. They’d been delayed more than once by a case, and then Aaron had childcare issues, and they’d somehow found themselves with the next available day for their date being Valentine’s Day. It had piled on the pressure, made her overthink every aspect of the date, but she didn’t want to rearrange again, didn’t want to delay it. 

Especially because Aaron was a gentleman to the core and had refused to go any further than the kisses they’d exchanged since he’d asked her out. He kept putting on the brakes, his smile achingly handsome when he told her he wanted to ‘do it right’ and take her on a date first. Even though she was sure he knew her better than anyone ever had, even though she knew there was very little he could learn from her over dinner that he didn’t already know, she’d agreed because she knew it was important to him. 

Emily groans as she looks at the cards, “Why do they all say love on them?” 

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” JJ deadpans, and Emily glares at her, “Why does it matter so much, you do love him.” 

“But he doesn’t know that.” 

JJ chuckles, “Em, you do remember what he does for a living, right?” She asks, raising her eyebrow at her, “He knows.” 

“JJ-”

“Have you got a gift at least?” JJ asks, cutting over Emily’s warning tone, “Or am I going to spend the rest of my life helping to buy my boss a Valentine’s Day gift?” 

“I’ve got the gift sorted,” Emily replies, looking over the cards again, “That was easy.” 

“What did you get him?” 

“A new watch,” Emily says, not even looking over at her, “The face of his is damaged.” 

JJ pinches the bridge of her nose and presses her lips together as she looks at her friend’s profile, “What kind of watch, Emily?” 

“What?” Emily asks, finally tearing her gaze away from the cards, “Oh, a Rolex.” 

JJ’s mouth falls open, and a chuckle escapes her, “You’ve spent north of, what, $10,000 on a gift for him and you’re overthinking the card?” She laughs again, “You’re terrible at this.” 

Emily scoffs, “Of course, I’m terrible at this. Why do you think I invited you to help me?”

“Invited. Forced. Half a dozen of one, half a dozen of the other,” JJ says, smiling at her as she picks out another card, “What about this one?” 

Emily takes it from her and looks at front of it, the large pink heart on it surrounded by the question ‘Be my Valentine?’ and she sighs, “That will do I guess.” 

“Thank God,” JJ says, “Now,” her smile turns mischievous, an edge to it that looks almost entirely too much like Penelope’s doing, “Let's talk lingerie.” 

“Absolutely not,” Emily replies, smirking as she turns away from her, ignoring her friend as she shouts after her.

“You’re no fun.” 

She turns to look at her, throwing her a wink, “I’m actually planning on being a lot of fun.” 

___

He was nervous. 

He’d never actually asked someone on a date before he asked Emily. Haley had asked him out when they were in high school, braver than him even then, and he felt nothing short of ridiculous for making it so far in life without knowing how to date. 

A feeling that only increased when it became clear their first date would be on Valentine’s Day of all days. 

He’d spent longer than he cared to admit agonising over the card he’d bought Emily, something he’s sure amused the sales assistant who asked him if he was okay three times before he finally made his decision. The gift had been the easy part. He bought her something she’d mentioned off-handedly weeks ago, a fact about her that he’d stored away for a moment like this. 

He wanted to get it right, because this wasn’t just anyone - it was Emily. He’d loved her for longer than he cared to admit to himself, and been attracted to her for longer than that. She’d thrown him off for the start, something about her effortless beauty and striking intelligence enough to knock him off kilter from the first time he’d met her. She’d snuck under his defences, tore them down one by one with her empathy and her kindness, and he wasn’t sure what he’d done before her, his life now split out into two distinct parts. 

He blows out a slow breath and double checks he has everything before he gets out of his car - two cards, one from him and one from Jack, flowers - sunflowers so he didn’t poison Sergio - and the gift he’d bought for Emily. The walk to her apartment has never felt longer, each step a feeling like it takes him a lifetime, the hallway stretching out in front of him as her door seems to get further and further away. He gives himself another moment when he reaches her door, swallowing thickly before he knocks. 

She answers quickly, barely a few seconds passing before the door opens, and he’s blown away by her the moment he sees her. She’s beautiful. She’s wearing a red dress, the material clinging to her like it had been made for her, and she’s curled her hair, the ends of it catching on her collarbone. Her make-up is a little heavier than usual but all he can focus on is her eyes, he gets lost in the depth of them just like he always does. He feels his cheeks burn when she clears her throat, her smile soft and teasing when he realises he’s been staring.

“You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” she replies, sinking her teeth into her lower lip, desperately trying to contain her smile, her cheeks aching with it anyway. She looks him up and down, ignoring how her stomach flips as her eyes linger on the open top buttons on his shirt, “You look pretty good yourself,” she steps back, “Come in.”

He nods and hands over the bunch of flowers, “These are for you.” 

“Thank you,” she replies as she takes them from him, feeling nothing short of ridiculous for how a shiver runs through her body as their fingers brush against each other, “I love sunflowers. Do you want a drink?”

He looks at his watch, “Yeah, we have time before our table.” 

“Wine?” She asks, pulling a vase from the cabinet and filling it with water. She smiles when he nods, “There’s a bottle of red on the side,” she says, tilting her head towards it, “And you know where the glasses are.” 

He nods and places the cards and the gift box on the table before he gets to work pouring them a glass of wine each. When he looks up at her she’s smiling at the cards and the gift, “They’re for you.” 

She chuckles, “Thank God for that, would have been awkward if they were for someone else,” she stamps her lips against his cheek, smiling to herself when she feels him suck in a breath, “I’ll go get yours.” 

He watches her go, his eyes lingering on her legs as she walks away, the red soles of her heels drawing his attention to them before she disappears from view. She’s back within a few seconds, a box and a card in her hands and a nervous smile on her face. 

She places his gift and card down on the kitchen counter and clears her throat, “I’m not even sure how to do this.” 

He smiles, something about it soft and reassuring, and he pushes one of the cards he’d brought over towards her, “Why don’t you start with Jack’s card?” 

“Jack got me a card?” She asks, her smile so wide her cheeks ache as she picks it up and opens the envelope. She swears she can feel her heart double in size as she looks at the card, the little boy’s messy handwriting and a drawing of what she assumes is meant to be her, him and Aaron emblazoned on the front. She opens it and reads the message on the inside, the I love you in his uneven scrawl almost enough to make her cry, “This might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” 

“He did it all himself,” Aaron says, “I was only allowed to help with spelling.” 

He was oddly jealous of his son, of how easily he could admit his love for the woman who had captured both of their hearts. The woman who had helped them both heal after the unimaginable. 

“Well, I’ll have to tell him thank you next time I see him,” she says, standing the card up on the counter, sure that she’d end up keeping it on her fridge forever, and her eyes drift back to the other cards and the gifts, “Your turn?”

“Why don’t we do the cards at the same time?” He suggests, and she nods. They laugh as they pull the cards from the envelopes, both of them realising they’d somehow, with all the options available, bought each other the same card. It eases something in both of them, tears away the last strips of awkwardness as they smile at each other fondly. She bumps her shoulder against his as she gets closer, removes any distance between them as she shifts one of the stools at her kitchen counter closer to him before she sits on it, her fingers tracing over the box he’d brought over. 

“Can I go first?” 

He nods and pushes it towards her, anxiety licking in his gut for the first time since he’d made the decision on what he was buying her, “Of course.” 

She smiles as she rips open the wrapping paper, her smile turning curious when she sees the looping French words on the outside of the box. She gasps as she opens it, the sound turning into a chuckle as she’s met with the sight of a box full of mille-feuille. 

“Aaron…” 

“You said you haven’t been able to find any decent mille-feuille since you came home,” he says, butchering the pronunciation and smiling nervously at her when she looks up at him, tearing her gaze away from the pastries, “I did some research, and these are apparently the best in DC.” 

She struggles to suck in a breath, her lungs stuffed full of everything she wants to say but can’t yet, the flowers of love she felt for him taking up all the space in her chest. He’d gone out of his way to do this for her, the street address of the bakery printed on the box told her that, but he’d also listened to her lament how the only thing she missed about her time in Paris was the amazing mille-feuilles that never seemed to be done quite right in the US. A comment she’d thrown out without thinking, without knowing he’d picked it up and kept it safe somewhere near his heart 

“I don’t even remember saying that,” she says, looking back down at the gift, “How do you remember that?” 

“I remember everything about you.” 

She’s surprised her smile can get wider, but it does. She’s surprised she can love him more than she already did, but she does. She cups his cheek and leans in to kiss him, the first, but definitely not the last, press of her lips against his that evening. She strokes her thumb over his cheek when she pulls back to look at him. 

“Thank you,” she says, kissing him again before she carefully tucks the lid of the pastry box back into place. She grabs the box with the watch in it and hands it to him, her eyes flicking to his empty wrist before she looks up at him, “Your turn.” 

The weight of the box immediately concerns him, guilt at just buying her pastries, already sparking in his gut. It catches fire as soon as he sees the Rolex logo, his eyes wide before he can even look at the watch itself. 

“A Rolex?” He says, stuttering uncharacteristically as he looks up at her, “Em, this is too much-”

“No,” she says, smiling despite his nervousness. She’d anticipated this, had known no matter what he brought her he’d argue that the watch was too expensive, that she’d spent too much money on him, “It isn’t,” she shrugs one of her shoulders, “You need a new watch.” 

He swallows thickly as he finally opens the box and looks at the watch, the steel face grand and shiny as it looks up at him, “This is…”

She takes it from him and takes the watch out of the box, pulling his left wrist towards her, because he wore it on his left despite being left-handed. It was something she’d made fun of him for endlessly, reminding him that most people wore their watches on their non-dominant hands, but it was a detail about him that she loved. Something she couldn’t help but smile at every time she noticed it. 

“It’s supposedly indestructible,” she says, raising her eyebrow at him as she loops the watch around his wrist, “So you won’t be able to break this one,” she smiles when the latch clips into place, her finger lingering over his pulse for a second longer than necessary, “And, this outside bit lets you set a second timezone. I thought it would be nice for when we’re on a case in a different timezone to Jack.” 

It feels like his chest is collapsing in on itself, the weight of her love for him, the way she’d thought so much about a watch that probably cost more than his deposit on his first house, briefly overwhelming. He looks down at his wrist, only realising then that they are holding hands, and he squeezes her fingers between his. 

“I only got you pastries.” 

He’s surprised that she laughs. It makes him look up from their joint hands, his eyebrows furrowed together as their eyes meet. 

“Aaron, I can buy myself jewellery. I don’t need you to…” she drifts off and looks at the box of pastries, “You listened to me when I didn’t even realise I needed to be listened to,” she smiles at him, hoping he ignores the shake to it, “I don’t think anyone has ever done that for me before and that’s worth so much more than anything you could buy in a store.” 

He smiles at her and this time he leans in, his nose pressed against her cheek as he kisses her. She sinks into it, and sighs contentedly as she wraps her arms around his neck, shifting impossibly closer even though they are both still sitting on stools. He pulls back as one of his thighs slots between hers, his knee forcing her legs wide enough that she can feel the tightness of her dress around her thighs. 

“We should…” he says, clearing his throat, his voice as rough as she’d ever heard it, “We should go to dinner.” 

She nods despite herself, despite the desire she feels flicking in her veins and the overwhelming urge to just lose the deposit they’d put down to secure a table on Valentine’s Day. She wants to remember this. To tell their kids and grandkids one day about their first day on Valentine’s Day. How they’d bought each other the same card and held hands over a table in a restaurant neither of them would remember the name of. 

She’d almost hate him for turning her into such a romantic if she didn’t love him so much. 

“Yeah,” she says, stamping her lips against his one more time, “Dinner. Then we’ll come back here?” 

He nods, his forehead knocking against hers, “Then we’ll come back here.” 

Two years later, they spend Valentine’s Day in Paris. Their tour of France on their honeymoon landing them in the city of romance on the most commercially romantic day of the year. They eat mille-feuille in bed, and he sets the second timezone on the watch she’d given him to the time back in DC. It’s perfect, and makes her fall back in love with a city that had once lost its shine for her, and when she leaves this time, she doesn’t only miss the pastries. 

[coldsaturn]

I finished my reread of TKM (in its Italian translation, for a change) in preparation for TGR, and I have thoughts

There's something inherently addictive about a character knowing they're on a countdown and trying to make the most of the time they still have

"I didn't tell her." They were the only two in the car, but it took Neil a moment to realize he was being addressed. He glanced over at Aaron, but Aaron was gazing out the passenger window. "Neither did I," Neil said. "She asked you about Andrew." It wasn't a question, but Neil said, "Yes. You too?" "She doesn't ask me anything anymore," Aaron said. "She knows there's no point. I haven't ever said a word to her." //Of course they hate each other so much, they're way more similar than they're comfortable with

Aaron, Matt, Renee, Wymack, e Andrew are all like "should we tell Neil he's now in a relationship or?" but they all decide to leave Neil in his painful obliviousness for the same reason. The fact that it will be Roland to tell him will forever be iconic.

On the translation for "Every inch of you," Andrew said. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you." I forgive the translator every past mistake. That line got me like a freight train in the face.

"Whatever Kevin saw on Neil's face, it was enough to kill his curiosity. Kevin slowly closed his mouth, withdrew his hand, and went back to drinking" // Kevin in this scene

Andrew keeps on being hilarious even unmedicated.

"Cool it," Ricky warned them, with his hands out toward both of them. "We've got enough trouble to deal with right now without your bullshit." // I want a book about him

The whump level of attention Neil gets starting from his Evermore stay and onward is absolutely delicious.

Neil spends the night with Kevin watching Exy matches, then Nicky tries to get Neil to go for ice cream and Neil is about to say no when he sees Andrew and suddenly he's all existential "Exy can't be everything" lmao

Andrew going against Kevin multiple times to favor Neil is my new kink

"I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to go back for you." // Andrew has five (5) people he'd save in a zombie apocalypse. That's an entirely respectable number of people to care for that intensely. Neil chose one and one only.

It's almost impossible to comment anything once we start snowballing toward the end because that would require putting the book down, but I'll make an effort: Andrew's fierceness is heartbreaking. He threatens people left and right and most of the Foxes around him treat him like he's an immortal, vengeful god. Kevin trusts him to protect him from Riko, Neil hilariously trusted him to protect him from Riko and the mafia behind him. Riko himself reacts to him with caution like he's dealing with a rabid dog that might just be faster than a gun drawn in self-defense. Andrew threatens the FBI and Abby, and it's like he genuinely thinks he can win against multiple armed and trained adults. But he's not invincible. He's so far from that it's painful. He can be overpowered, his strength is proportional to his body, he has been brought down again and again. Hes' just a dude. But so many around Andrew treat him like his strength is a bottomless well, for better or worse, and I wonder what his self-confidence would be if he didn’t receive so often positive feedback on his ability to take everything and everyone down with him. I don’t think he’s even aware of it, but I’m glad it’s there nonetheless.

"She taught Coach Exy," Neil reminded him. "And what, he didn't notice that he knocked her up?" Aaron asked. // AARON lmao

Still can't believe Andreil got off on Kevin's drama queen tattoo and didn't even bother trying to hide it

Still can’t believe Andreil had a full on makeout session at Evermore. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, dark Andreil from the perfect court felt a tremor in the force

Reading my bound trilogy gives the pace of the entire work a completely different feeling. This truly is one single story, and not three separate books. Once you feel them being whole in your hands, without boundaries between one and the other, you can truly appreciate the avalanche that this story is. You start slowly with all the puzzle pieces around you and then accelerate until you reach the last 200 pages where you can't even find time to breathe, the entire narrative a single unified crescendo built on the 500 pages that came before.

Neil is an amazing protagonist, but he could have been unsufferable so easily if Nora hadn't done such a good job of keeping him an active character with a mountain of agency. The things that happen to him are obnoxiously incredible, but he never becomes the cliché passive protagonist bound by plot because they have nothing of their own to keep themselves upright. Everything that happens to him he reacts to with equal if not more force; hell, half of what happens he instigates with his own hands. So many books give you an empty protagonist meant to be the stand-in for the audience, just an empty shell so the reader can project onto them and fantasize about a different reality. Neil is complex, absurd, uncomfortable, and doesn't care if you relate to him or not. As a reader you are a fly on the wall and are treated as such. Neil isn’t here to make you feel good about yourself.

Insane rereadability rate. Read one book per day and I didn't even feel it, I already miss it and want to go back to the beginning to ride the roller coaster again. I'm a decade older than when I read this trilogy the first time, but these books are still a dopamine injection straight into my eyeballs.

[queervegancryptid]

They want you to lose hope, and that's exactly why you have to find reasons to be hopeful and do your part in creating more reasons.

People defend capitalism by appealing to the idea that human nature is inherently selfish. I think that's a weird perspective. You find out who you are in difficult times. I mean to say, you learn new things about yourself and your abilities and worldview in difficult times. When you're challenged and forced to grow in some way. And I think most people, when times get tough, are more drawn to make things better, not to hoard resources for themselves.

And maybe humans are somewhat selfish by nature, and maybe they aren't, but they also have an enormous capacity for things like mutual aid, especially when things get really bad. I know it's tossed around a lot, but I think about this Fred Rogers quote a lot lately:

"When I was a boy and would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'"

This is great advice just for keeping morale up, and that's something that's going to become difficult to do and increasingly, incredibly necessary to protect. And one way you can work on that is, when you find the helpers, try to find a way to become a helper yourself. If you make things better for even one person, that's not nothing.

And you never know who your actions might inspire. Because right now, people are looking for the helpers. And maybe they see you helping and decide, hey, I can do something to help, too!

Revolutions don't just happen like in the movies. A lot of what makes a revolution is people, individual people and folks in small groups, doing things that seem small but that coalesce to form a whole bigger than the sum of its parts. You'll begin to feel less helpless if you find a way to help, and whether that's marching or volunteering or hosting a reading group or making art or writing guides for people on various topics or something else entirely, it will help. At the very least, you'll probably build connections with other people, and you and they will feel less alone in all this. And unity is strength.

Remember: they want you to feel powerless, like you have no options. They want to overwhelm you until you just give up hope. That's exactly why you can't let that happen, and why, I would argue, each of us has a moral obligation to find ways to help. Even if it's just checking up on your friends who might be having a hard time with all this, do it! Everyone who's paying attention is feeling so many types of fucked up lately. Just reaching out and checking on a person can make all the difference for them. And that's not nothing.

Do what you can do. Don't let them kill your resolve.

I'm surviving out of spite, myself.

[mushysquashythingamajig]

Bucktommy Fluffebruary

DAY 14: VALENTINE'S DAY

@bucktommyfluffebruary

Ah, Valentine's day. The day St. Valentine, the patron of love was murdered. Yes, Evan may have gone a small Wikipedia binge the night before reading all about the day and fell asleep in the middle of it. He was thankful he had the day off because he did sleep in.

Sleepily, he hand reached for his boyfriend only to reach empty air. Oh, so he was awake. One of Tommy's habits that had persisted from the military was waking up at the ass crack of dawn. So, Evan appreciated every single time he convinced his boyfriend to sleep in. Today was not one of those days.

He was about to get up when the door opening caught his attention. Tommy walked in, tray full of breakfast in his hands.

"Good morning, baby. Sleep good last night?" He asked as he set the tray on the bed next to Evan.

"Well, kinda fell asleep without even realising." Evan answered sheepishly.

"You have to stop doing that."

Evan looked at the tray full of delicious food. Pancakes that looked like they were choco-chip filled, Tommy really measured from the heart, with maple syrup drizzled on to, some juice and beautiful rose neatly arranged next to each other.

"Tommy. You didn't have to cut a rose for me." Evan picked up the delicate flower, smelling its magnificent fragrance. Evan didn't know where Tommy got these roses, but they smelled absolutely heavenly.

"Of course I had to. It's a special day isn't it?" Tommy teased.

Of course. How come he didn't expect Tommy Kinard, romcom buff, cries watching queer proposals, to be a massive Valentine's day guy.

"Yeah, it is. Thank you for the breakfast, babe." He tried to peck Tommy with a kiss.

Keyword: Tried, because Tommy dragged him in for a deep one, morning breath be dammed.

They ate the breakfast together before Tommy declared that they were going hiking. Somewhere with a nice view. Evan wanted to spend time with Tommy so it was a win win in his book.

Evan freshened up and put on something light. A t-shirt and shorts with a sweater around his waist just in case. Tommy was looking fabulous with compression pants covered by shorts. He wore cut off t-shirt that showed off his muscular arms along with a bandana.

"Looking good, babe." Evan wolf-whistled.

"Not too bad yourself, handsome." They giggled before locking up the house.

The place Tommy had chosen was ridiculous. Yeah, it was a long arduous hike, and Evan's shirt was drenched with sweat but the view was worth it. Well, after he caught his breath. How was Tommy fine, the man was forty for god's sakes.

"Didn't mind my stamina when I f-"

"Don't even wanna hear it." Buck interrupted him.

They sat on the giant rock overlooking a cliff and just looked at the setting sun. The sky had erupted into so many different colours it was like if Tommy threw his palate onto the canvas. Buck had prepared Tommy's favourite dessert in secret without him knowing, which was an accomplishment. Then man was a greyhound regard his brownies. Pulling out the box, he passed them to his boyfriend.

"This is not much, but still." Evan rubbed the back of his neck.

"Evan, thanks. You know I love these. Oh, I got you something too."

He pushed a journal into his hands. Confused, Evan opened it to find himself? It was him, drawn on every single page of the notebook, different colours adorning each piece. Evan felt as if he was watching the sunset all over again, this time on his face.

He looked over to Tommy, who was just munching on the brownies and avoiding eye contact. After giving Buck one of the most meaningful gifts of his entire life. No. He pulled the Tupperware from Tommy's lap, throwing it to the side, ignoring Tommy's protests and straight up pounced on his boyfriend, peppering face with kissed.

"You. Are. So. Fucking. Cute." He punctuated each word with a kiss.

Eventually, he got tired and both he and Tommy got up. It was getting late anyway, and they needed to get home. They packed up and descended the mountain.

"Most meaningful gift in my life and you were embarrassed by it." Evan nudged Tommy.

"Come on. They're not even that good."

"Tommy, I dare you to say one bad word about my present."

When Tommy remained silent, clearly sensing the seriousness in Evan's voice, he smiled in satisfaction.

"Good boy." He lightly patted Tommy's cheek, leaving his boyfriend a sputtering mess.