#even if they're adults now & dealing with schemes and shit

[megaclubdiolis]

柄本 佑 || 「光る君へ」 (2024) · 第二十八回 「一帝二后」 ​​​

[littlestkoi-n]

I've been thinking about how much I adore Tonks and Remus' dynamic but physically cannot ship them because my brain is being weird about their fucking age gap. this is so frustrating. they would have been so lovely for me if Tonks was like at least 27 in 5th book. Ronks (yeah I'm not calling it Remadora, Tonks hates her birth name ffs) would have been my ride-or-die alongside Jily and Wolfstar for sure.

because literally nothing else that Ronks antis consider deal breakers for them matters to me - not the fumbled way they get together in canon, not them getting married so quickly, not Tonks getting pregnant, not the assumed queer-coding of both characters (which I personally see, don't get me wrong. but it's assumed and who the fuck says they can't be queer4queer anyway?). sure, the nuclear family narrative being pushed so quickly and thoroughly onto them is peculiar but who says they didn't want to make the most of their time during a war? I love wartime drama and they would have been my shit if it weren't for... well. Tonks being 22 and Remus 35 when they meet.

I just can't ship big age gaps unless the youngest character is closer to 30 than 20. which is infuriating, because Ronks is objectively more fascinating because of their gap. my fucking loss, don't you think?

anyway, after thinking of ways I can make Tonks older without hurting the story, I began wondering whether her age is narratively important, and yes, turns out it very much is - for Harry.

Tonks being 22 in order of phoenix makes her the closest of Order members to Harry's age (Weasley twins don't count because they're Ron's brothers first, order members second for Harry) and the one Order member Harry can relate to the most in his youth and desire to fight. She almost perfectly parallels marauders and Lily in first war and represents the fun of the fight, the fire of youth, the confidence of a new recruit, the safety of relatability for Harry. She's one of the biggest inspirations for his newfound dream of becoming an auror. Harry needs Tonks among those older, battle-worn, cautious, secretive adults who don't take him seriously and never look him in the eye, because he wants to be what she is even before realising it and only reflects on it after spending time with her.

all in all, Tonks being 22 matters quite a lot for Harry's story.

now, we have no way of knowing whether Joanne came up with Ronks storyline prior to Tonks' introduction, but it shouldn't matter for their relationship, not in Joanne's opinion - Tonks' youth already fulfilled its narrative role in order of phoenix and stopped being an important asset of her character in half-blood prince.

oh, but unfortunately it still matters in the grand scheme of things, Joanne. you don't just introduce a young adult character (I'm 21 myself and gods, 22/23 is barely more mature), chuck their established age out the window and pair them up with a character in their mid-to-late thirties. and of fucking course it makes sense for a 23 year old to be down bad for some scruffy 36 year old man, it's incredibly realistic! this 36 year old man acting upon such crush is a little questionable, but still realistic (and we know Remus is very flawed, so I'm not surprised). but you know what isn't realistic at all?

Molly - a 46 year old woman, married to her high school sweetheart, mother to 7 children, 3 of which are close to Tonks' age - being extremely supportive of actually engaging in that sort of relationship, going as far as reprimanding Remus for not committing to it. I'm sorry, what? Molly might have some flaws as a mother, but she is nothing if not protective of her kids and those in their age range. She genuinely becomes somewhat of a mother figure for Tonks during their time in the Order, and I just cannot for the life of me understand how Molly could encourage her to pursue Remus and vice-versa, instead of consoling Tonks in her tragic crush and making sure Remus doesn't even look at her like that.

Minerva - an even older woman who taught both Remus and Tonks at Hogwarts, witnessed Remus becoming an adult from his graduation in 1978 up until 1981, then saw an 11 year old Tonks start Hogwarts 3 years later in 1984 - chiding Remus for not being "brave" enough to commit to such relationship. first of all, why the fuck is she involved in that narrative at all? it's none of her business??? she's not in any pseudo parenting role for either of them, unlike Molly, so I never understood why she even has a place to voice her opinion about their romance. second of all, even if it was her business, Minerva - a professor who witnessed both Remus and Tonks grow up so many years apart - would realistically feel pretty weird about such relationship.

those aren't problems with the ship itself, but rather the way Joanne implemented their romance in the story. I think it would be more realistic if Ronks was some kind of fucked up forbidden romance from other characters' perspectives. the way everybody is so instantly supportive of them is quite jarring to me.

interestingly, when I read hp for the first time at 11 I was quite adamant in my belief that Tonks was in love with Molly up until that scene in half-blood prince. a very weird belief for a kid, I know. I just only liked girls at the time and was relating to Tonks quite a bit since her introduction, so I guess I unconsciously decided she was a lesbian even without knowing that term yet. I also had a crush on my teacher in 4th grade and she was quite similar to Molly... yeah, this girl was projecting too much. I didn't pick up on Remus' queer-coding until I fell down the rabbit hole of lgbt discourse at 14, but was pretty shocked to read about Tonks falling for a man at 11. she was so like me until she wasn't :) it's pretty funny to think about now.

in conclusion, I'm hella jealous of those of you who don't have weird brains and can enjoy Ronks to their fullest potential. their canon writing has its issues but they're more interesting for it, truly. I'll stay in my no fun corner, headcanoning them as lavender married, queer-platonic, bisexual besties co-parenting Teddy Alastor Tonks.

[jwcc-confessions]

While I do love Brooklynn so much and I love the direction her character is going in, I do feel like we as a fandom kind of ignore her going behind Kenji’s back and speaking to his estranged father. While I do fully understand her intentions behind it, it’s just kind of disrespectful for her to do to him without at least asking him about it. But it does also give depth to her character so it’s not like I wouldn’t have wanted it to be put in. I do love how complex they’re making Brooklynn though as I felt she lacked something that was apart from the whole Kon family conflict in season 5.

Yeah it's kinda ironic that she blamed Kenji, a child, for wanting to believe his only living parent wasn't a massive shit head, but now Brooklynn, an adult, is having dodgy dealings with said shit head and deceiving her friends and family. Like I get WHY she's doing it, I can see what angle they're taking with this, but pretending to be dead and leaving your loved ones devastated and none the wiser is pretty cold, even if her goal is to collapse some corrupt dinosaur-abuse scheme

Keeps things interesting though

[themanwhomadeamonster]

oh my GOD i deleted my rant by accident im gonna cry lemme try to remember what i wrote but tl;dr not really a theory but me trying to arrange my understanding of albrecht and tmitw

i title this: wallbrecht is everything everywhere all at once

also i wrote this at 5-6am and didnt sleep so shit's probably messy

ok so a major theme in warframe that recurrs in warframe is the loss of identity or sense of self. natah/lotus/margulis, erra becoming pazuul, teshin being controlled by the worm queens, the operator dissociating and believing they're our warframe, then the operator losing themselves to the worm queen and the operator (+rell) confusing ourselves with tmitw himself , the drifter in duviri, warframes themselves losing their sense of self (umbra at some point, and potentially arthur and aoi down the line), albrecht worrying who really left the void dimension, the remaining entrati family themselves!. we're also told many times that the void gives but it also takes, and that it's heavily influenced by strong emotions

in cosmic horror stories usually the horror is a representation of something else. in lovecraft's works it's often his disgust with people of colour, viewing them as something completely alien. in bloodborne part of it is the fears of pregnancy and dealing with offspring. i haven't played darkest dungeon but i've heard that it's about trauma and how the overwhelming traumatic events become too much to bear that people go mad. in the lighthouse, part of the horror is that people will fight and kill just to know the truth, or what they believe to be salvation

so i think albrecht's horror was his fear of losing his identity. we knew from the clock's archives that his experiments hadn't been going well prior to the bell incident. he was losing respect as an archimedian, maybe he lost respect as a father and husband too. i think a lot of us theorise already that albrecht IS the man in the wall, not a doppelganger like tmitw literally was with the operator. but tmitw being omnipresent means that they can freely simultaneously be and not be other people, the paradox of eternalism. albrecht is now the void, he knows every timeline and every outcome and potentially every person (except operator/drifter because they're already void in multiple senses of the word) but he is also still one human. the human mind can't reconcile knowing everything, that's just madness. lucky that kids aren't as self aware as adults!

the void isn't evil nor good. it gives and takes merely because that's the way the universe works, very vaguely dare i say the law of conservation in (a very sci-fi way) action. the void is in the grand scheme of things is just a natural phenomenon of the universe. but the overwhelming emotion present during the 10-0 accident (if that even was an accident) and albrecht's own experiment just happened to be fear, so the void literally embodied the concept of fear and became a person, vecause that's just what the void does. it became an unknowable being behind a veil just beyond our perceptive reality that understands the plights of humanity a little too well. it could have manifested into something friendly and offered us and albrecht a deal in a polite way if the circumstances were right but it wasn't. tmitw is a manifestation of the void so whether the man - albrecht - wanted to or not, he had to approach our operator in their greatest moment of fear. what he did have a choice in, though, was to offer a deal. and what better way to secure a time loop, multiple ones even, that will guarantee your becoming wally than to be a time-space hopping entity who can exploit a bunch of scared kids who didn't know any better.

i don't know what we'll be using the vessel for but i don't think we'll be using it to fight a giant wall (and if we are it won't be the climactic final fight). i don't think we'll ever overcome the void, and we don't need to. the void just is. but the man in the wall literally is just a man. and i know people dunk on bad cosmic horror when the spooky thing is actually just a person or has sympathetic motivations but i think here warframe may be able to pull it off well. it's a cosmic horror that's made life miserable over multiple lifetimes, but the horror simultaneously is just a victim partially of his own doing because the cosmic horror never was alien, it's just a person who's scared of losing himself, just like the lotus was and just like our operator was. the cosmic horror IS the person in the stories who faced the horrors, who faced themselves in the seriglass bell - all it took to differentiate us and albrecht was an *accident* (though at this point it was probably intentional)

we need to confront albrecht/the man in the wall and try to stop his madness. but like many cosmic horror stories go, i think he's trapped no matter what. he'll either overcome his fear of losing himself and become one with the void, leaving us for good, or he'll try to return to gomaitru. but the fact that he's not the same as he was before and neither is gomaitru, with what he's seen and experienced as tmitw will be so maddening that he'll have to leave for the void once again in a suicide mission if he still can't reconcile with *what he is* now. in true cosmic horror fashion we will probably never fully know his motivations till the end, being a greater being than our scope of thinking - and with eternalism in place, maybe albrecht reconciling with himself was what already happened back in the seriglass bell

[slutforstabbings-archive]

Since the Velma show is so uhhhhh Like That, here's my pitch for an adult Scooby Doo show:

The most similar existing Scooby thing is On Zombie Island and the two biggest inspirations/points of comparison outside of Scooby Doo are Scream (particularly MTV Scream) and Cabin in the Woods.

The gang are college upperclassmen, juniors and/or seniors.

Fred started as a finance major but switched to criminal justice. Daphne’s a journalism major. Shaggy's getting a fine art degree and his concentration is ceramics, Velma's major is physics.

Fred and Shaggy were roommates freshman year and had an enemies to besties situation because they were so different. Mostly the problem was that Fred's upbringing was super sheltered and old money, prep school, country club, young republicans - so when he meets Shaggy he's like how tf do I deal with people who aren't from my very rigid uptight wealthy background? But he lets go of that bullshit really quickly and now he and Shaggy are inseparable and have chosen to continue to live together since.

Daphne is Fred's high school sweetheart, they both went to single gender prep schools but they were like "sibling" schools that held co-ed events together. She's from the same super rigid old money world as him but she's always been more rebellious and aware of the outside world than he was. Maybe they broke up for a while because even tho they decided to go to the same university, they wanted different college experiences and she was a big party girl freshman and sophomore years, but now she's calmed down a little and he's opened up, so they're the most compatible they've ever been and they find their way back to each other.

Velma and Shaggy met in an art class that she was taking as an elective and he was taking as part of his main course work. She'd never done any kind of art before and was super nervous but Shaggy was really encouraging and they became buddies and she discovered a new interest and made all her free electives be art classes after that. If Shaggy's having a hard time getting a sculpture to be structurally stable, he comes to Velma for physics assistance.

Shaggy decides to adopt a dog and he's on the humane society website like look at this weird dog, it says he's been there for months, how come nobody has adopted him? So he takes Fred and they go to the humane society and they meet this fucked up Great Dane that nobody else wants and they agree to adopt him.

That's when Weird Shit TM starts happening on campus and in the surrounding town. It is NOT monster of the week but maybe the first couple episodes are sort of falsely monster of the week seeming, until they realize everything is connected. Definitely keeping the villian's motivation as some horrible destructive ultra capitalist scheme, and it hits close to home for Fred and Daphne because that's kind of the world they're from, but it's also supernatural somehow and Scooby's nature as a not-quite-normal dog is tied into it, the four of them like, become fated to solve this problem because they welcome Scooby into their lives. Stakes are high, the supernatural is real and death is permanent. The gang should lose peripheral friends and have to figure out the mystery while also mourning, and the villian or one (or more) of the villian's henchmen is someone in the gang's outer circle. Like maybe the big bad is the president of the university and Daphne's sorority sisters and Shaggy's plug and Velma's advisor are all in on it.

Velma IS a lesbian, and Indian. If we're making one of them black it's gotta be Fred or Daphne, I hate that they made the stoner character black in the Velma show lol that was my first red flag. I mean, in this I think they're all stoners, they do the round table That 70's Show thing, Shaggy is just the only one with a Stoner Personality. And I think it's cool for him to be non-white, it just feels cringey to me for him to be black. But I think it could be really interesting for one of the super wealthy upper crust characters to have to realize that they were really insulted from racism in their specific community but that doesn't mean that it isn't still a big deal everywhere else, and maybe even looking back they DID experience racism growing up, they just didn't realize it. Perhaps they're even mixed race, half black half white and have to deal with the intersecting privilege and oppression that simultaneously brings them. Fred is bi but still figuring it out, Shaggy is nb but enjoys masculinity and just doesn't give a shit about how other people perceive his gender, it's a more internal experience for him, and he defies gender conventions in subtle ways.

[alexandraswords]

"Anger is usually disappointment in oneself."

I really have been trying to not play the victim when things go wrong and really look at the big picture and take accountability for my own shit. I know regardless of the circumstances, or proposals of assistance from others, still means even if those don't follow through at the end of the day its still my responsibility, my own consequences from my own actions, that I have to do deal with and ultimately am help responsible for.

But the past few days have just been an emotional roller coaster of shit. Im trying not to complain and communicate and vent to the people closest to me, because I don't want to burden them with my crap and me just seemingly bitching and complaining. But it really isn't that.

I am trying to do the thing; fix my finances, work out, contribute to my relationship and budget and move in with the boyfriend, eat healthy and stay close with family and trying to make friends, get hobbies, what the fuck ever an adult is supposed to do and I just feel empty and nothing brings me joy except being alone.

Its like every time I start to move forward, the universe goes, no no no, this bitch has been doing pretty great, lets just put that poker back in the coals and wait til shes really on a good one and stick her where she least expects it.

But I'm stubborn, and used to being fucked... literally and metaphorically...however it doesn't mean its the end of the world.

I also have to remind myself its just shit. Life happens. It's just when your living in a system that is designed to ruin your peace (if I allow it) with endless pages of terms and agreements to signing any type of security away, we're all kind of living in this fucked up rat race dog eat dog scheme, and that's what infuriates me.

You finally get ahead in some part on the wheel of life chart or balance it better and life reminds you the only constant is change.

If I'm being honest I'm upset because I know I probably didn't listen fully and made a mistake and that is on me.

There isn't really any main message or theme here. I'm just going through my feels, and bawling my eyes out and I feel so stupid.

Its not my friends or family's problem and right now I'm not even selfless enough to even ask how they're doing first, or as awful as this is, even fucking care about what's going on with them. It's just woe Is me at the moment, and no one including myself needs to be dealing with that shit.

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

No, because I’d only count Lucifer as “old man”. If my knowledge of the timeline is correct, Diavolo might be the third youngest of the entire cast. The only two younger than him being Satan (obviously, as he was born during/after the war) and Luke (whether Luke was born pre-war or post-war is a little wishy-washy thanks to continuity errors in canon, but I think it's still safe to assume the literal child is younger than Diavolo).

As for the others... well, fucking Solomon may very well be older than Diavolo.

Solomon mentions finding out about Barbatos's subservience to Diavolo, right?

Which means, he was not only alive but at a point in his life where he'd had enough power to summon Barbatos- and had done so long enough ago that by now he knew him well. He was most likely an adult, and knowing him and his ridiculous lifespan could've very well been into his hundreds.

Here's the thing, though... Diavolo implies he was in his youth when the whole Barbatos pact thing happened.

Of course, there's still some ambiguity here, as he doesn't outright confirm he was still a child during that specific incident and we don't know how fast Solomon's weirdly extended human lifespan progressed vs Diavolo's, but the fact that it's very much possible Solomon was an adult when Diavolo was still a child/teen and that we genuinely have to wonder which one of the two was born first is absolutely wild.

What's even more wild is the implications of Solomon actually being chronologically older than Diavolo. This is what would make Diavolo the third youngest of the entire cast.

You see, in one of the pre-war Celestial Realm flashback arcs in OG S3, Lucifer makes a mention of Solomon.

...now putting aside what I'd normally say about Michael and Solomon having some interesting shit going on, just the fact that this was mentioned at all means Solomon was alive (and had been alive long enough to attract Michael's interest) back when Lucifer was still an angel. And past versions of Lucifer's brothers appeared earlier in this arc as well, so all of the brothers (minus Satan, obviously) were already around by the time Solomon was around. So, all of them are older than Diavolo.

Raphael and Simeon are mentioned offhandedly in this scene, which means they are also older than Diavolo.

Thirteen also mentions in NB S1 that she met Solomon when they were both children, so she is older than Diavolo.

The only one who might actually be younger than him in this case is Mephistopheles, which is a 50/50 chance because it's mentioned they're childhood friends so they're probably only off by a little bit.

We also have to remember that there is an entire dynasty in the Devildom, with Diavolo as its newest installment. Meanwhile, there is no mention of any such dynasty in the Celestial Realm; as far as we know, it's been this set of seraphs running things since the very beginning. Which would mean Lucifer has likely been alive for several generations of Diavolo's family line.

A lot of this is murky, I know I'm dealing in very vague statements here, but it's still highly plausible Diavolo is younger than most of the cast. As much as a being like him seems old to us humans, in the grand scheme of things he’s incredibly young and Lucifer is probably several times his age.

Apologies for this post not having as many receipts as my usual posts, this one kind of pulled from all over the place instead of my usual "territory" in OG S3 so I really had to dig into the recesses of my OM knowledge, but I promise I'm not BSing lol.

Quick question

[critical-thinking-is-mandatory]

Ok, so S3 build Lila up as Marinette's/Ladybug's enemy and Gabriel's/Hawk/Moth's ally, just to end her arc in a self contained episode that doesn't change anything going forward, while Chloe ended up being the "Big Bad" of the finale after like 2 episodes of build up to it ( but at least that's still something ).

Now, in S4, Lila was turned into a background character stuck to the back of the class, while Chloe and now Felix get their own villain episodes thoughout the season, but surprise, surprise, these episodes will likely won't matter in the grand scheme of things, as Lila will be instead the "Big Bad" of the finale this time around, cause apparently Gabriel is not only still keeping Lila around, but also promoting her after she's been irrelevant for an entire season.

So to sum up, the teenager villains arcs in this show are a total mess.

idk why the crew even bothers if they're just gonna keep turning every subplot into a dog's breakfast.

like we got Oniichan way back early S3 which sets us up for a Lila-Gabriel alliance of sorts. Possibly the kind where Lila thinks she's got the upperhand until she's very much thrown aside, having outlived her usefulness. But instead it's just like? everyone forgot about Lila until around the time they wrote 'Ladybug' and they went "oh shit! this major subplot we set up 12 episodes ago! Let's do something now and hope the audience is too stupid to notice we didn't think this through at all!"

And like, it wouldn't have been that big a deal, if the crew hadn't made this big song and dance about what a major villain Lila would be.

And like Felix is another one! I honestly would've been perfectly 100% happy, if the guy only showed up for like one episode and his story was perfectly contained in one episode. Felix is my poor little meow meow garbage boy, I hate him, but having a totally new antagonist for one episode, one dude totally unconnected to the Miraculouses at all, was such a nice break. He doesn't need to be a recurring character to have an impact on the show and the fans but trying to bring him in more and more just makes the show feel clunky, messy and ill-considered.

So if we swapped the treatment of Lila and Felix around, actually giving Lila the recurring threat treatment we were promised, and having Felix only turn up once in a blue moon as a fun surprise, now that would work with the way these characters were set up.

And Chloe...yeesh. I have a lot of thoughts on Chloe, primarily the fact that the crew are more concerned with making Gabriel more sympathetic than Chloe. Even though one is a grown adult manipulating vulnerable people to bring back his wife (who we've no reason to care about), and the other is a 14 year old girl. Like hmm. Who's the worst person here? Gabriel McDickBag, who sits around in his mansion all day and takes advantage of small children and this one dude who really, really cares about pigeons, or Chloe, who did her darndest to crash a train full of people to make herself look good? Like hmmm. Who, of the pair, would be more likely to change, more willing to change provided with therapy, and who's more likely to continue being a dickbag?

Anyway. It is such a mess. Lila's progression from 'girl who lies for attention' to 'girl who would smash Ladybug's face in for a rotten potato' doesn't feel natural. Like there are definitely ways to do it that would feel more natural. Like for instance, if Lila rocks up, starts dating Adrien, or more or less forces him to date her by some reason or another (maybe Lila's mum is actually in the Evil Miraculous Club alongside Gabriel and Gabe decides what better way to ensure Lila's mum's friendship than by setting up their kids? genius!) and then Ladybug majorly screws that plan over. Maybe she ruins Lila's outfit, calls her a name or two, and also establishes herself as the more desirable to Adrien while she's at it.

So we've got the Ladybug element, the major humiliation, and also the basis that Lila's raised by a supervillain, so the step up from lying new girl to big-bad-ultimate-villain isn't such a huge disconnect. We've got a basis to work from, and it makes Lila seem more like a proper cartoon villain than yknow. Whiny girl No. 2.

[andsmile]

I'm not sure why but I have a feeling something bad is going to happen with Varchie in the next episode. Maybe I'm a little paranoic but Veronica and Archie were just too happy in latest Riverdale episode and the writers barely let them be genuinely happy and if they are, it's basically a calm before the storm. It have nothing to do with this whole Ba crap tho, they're as good as dead now. It's more about something breaking Varchie apart like Chad, Hiram or both for example. What's worrying me is that there's a rumor that Veronica's character needed a stunt double for the next episode, not to mention she was nowhere to be seen in the trailer, we also heard nothing about her in episode 10 synopsis aside for the fact that Camila is also staring. Some people say it's because everything about Veronica could possibly be a huge spoiler so they're not showing it. So it might be a long shot but what if something bad is going to happen to Veronica in the next episode? Considering it's confirmed that Chad is coming back and if the stunt double rumor is true... Do you think we should be worried?

I'm sorry if my theory sounds ridiculous to you but I just really wanted to know what you think about this.

do you think something may happen to Veronica next week? Injured maybe?

--------

okay, so i know about the stunt double, but if i’m not mistaken the timing of that casting was around episodes 11 or 12, not 10. your theory isn’t stupid, though. they are shooting things out of order too. but let’s remember some things, ok?

1. veronica’s past storyline, with chad too, is about The Accident™. a stunt double could be used for that. it could also be used for the most random things. i do not think veronica will get severely hurt. also that stunt double had two outfits on, one very adult-veronica and other kinda like teen-veronica or young hermione? so who knows?

2. i do not think hiram and chad can break varchie up, but they will surely try. ras told us that chad would be a thorn in archie and veronica’s side, and of ‘other people’ too. there is a lot more to chad’s character that we haven’t seen. but archie and veronica are stronger, now, and if they came through so much in the past when they were foolish and didn’t communicate so well, they’ll be able to come through now again.

3. they have a storyline together. they’re saving riverdale together. they have been an unit even before this happened. i sincerely don’t believe it will be easy to break them up. it doesn’t mean there won’t be obstacles! but the great deal is that they can surpass them.

4. archie will be trapped at a school shooting next week, it’s what the promo shows us. hiram is scheming with someone and i think it’s chad (or reggie, or both, but most likely chad). we might not know a lot about veronica’s storyline but we know that she will be involved with hiram, chad, archie, etc. in my honest opinion, it’s going to be something like 2x19. they’ll “trap” veronica somewhere with chad while shit goes down and they try to take archie down.

5. but i think you don’t have to worry about varchie, for real. if veronica does get hurt? archie will go RAM on whoever did it. and she will be okay. if archie gets hurt, veronica will go RAM on whoever hurts him. and he will be okay too. right now, they need to work together, and they’ll just come out stronger of whatever happens.

6. i think you’re just anxious, guys 💜 we need to believe that whatever happens to them, is to give them even more depth and reassure their love for each other. it can be quite epic!

[whereistheonepiece]

So @lesbian-space-ranger​ and I accidentally created a new Zosan AU that we’ve been talking about since last night. A note: half of this is me summarizing, half of it is pulled directly from Discord because Cas (lesbian-space-ranger) has such great ideas.

This is a long post. I don’t feel like putting it under a read more. So. Enjoy. Or keep scrolling. Either works.

So this post happened

These roles just came to me. Didn’t need to give it much thought because Sanji has the appearance and demeanor of a lead singer and I like the idea of him using his skilled hands to play piano at the same time.

I also watched the movie Rocketman earlier in the week. You know, that Elton John biopic. I adored it and it’s been heavy on my mind lately and I liked the idea of Sanji giving a high energy performance from the piano. (Sir Elton John’s music comes into play later.)

And as for Zoro, I find the bass and/or the beat the sexiest part of the music in a song and, naturally, I can see him rocking at either.

So I asked Cas if she had any other headcanons for this AU and this thing is too good to not share.

Yeah, so Zoro and Sanji are in a boy band with Usopp and Luffy. Luffy started the band. Luffy does guitar, Zoro is on bass, Usopp is on drums, and Sanji is on keyboard and vocals.

Nami is their manager. She works them hard and has taken a 40% cut of the profits because of the guys’ naivete and inexperience. But she’s why they took off. She booked their gigs at every venue she could manage, no matter how small.

They got their big break when Nami met Vivi, who’s a talent scout for the record label Baroque Works. Nami insisted that Vivi had to see the boys perform because they’re something else and Vivi’s heard that a thousand times, but she agreed because Nami is cute. Nami and Vivi are dating. Also, re Baroque Works: Crocodile looks like a sleazy music producer, doesn’t he? So does Doflamingo.

So Sanji is the pretty one, Luffy is the funny one, Zoro is the quiet/broody one, and Usopp is the smart one.

Zoro has a lot of deals with fitness brands, but secretly finds the famous life unfulfilling. This comes back later, so keep that in your back pocket.

Robin runs their social media. She’s so good at her job, running all of their accounts and tweeting simultaneously, you’d swear she had four sets of hands. Wink.

Franky does pyrotechnics/lighting.

Brook is their stylist.

Chopper was their first real fan. He and Zoro grew up in the same neighborhood and Chopper just always idolized him. He followed them before anyone knew their names. He was their hype man, saying encouraging things like "I know you guys are gonna be great!" He believed in them even when they didn't believe in themselves.

Usopp set up their recordings before they got signed because he’s savvy. And then Chopper would sell their crappy CDs. At these tiny gigs. Like coffeehouses and stuff.

Sanji can play keyboard because his parents forced him to play piano as a kid. They had this idea that classical music would teach him discipline and make him smarter. This is how he meets Zeff. Zeff’s your typical stern instructor, but he’s the first adult to ask Sanji what he actually wants and likes. Zeff sees Sanji’s not into it so he asks him what music he likes and Sanji tells him he likes pop, so Zeff gives Sanji a more rounded education. This includes Elton John because I say so. It did inspire me to put Sanji on keyboard, after all.

But other than being Sanji’s piano instructor, Zeff becomes the one positive adult figure in young Sanji’s life and he becomes something of a mentor figure for him. Zeff has a garden and he lets Sanji work in it with him. This garden is how Sanji gets his “little eggplant” nickname. Sanji pulls an eggplant out before it’s ready and it’s so small and pitiful and Zeff won’t let him live it down. Like, Sanji keeps in touch with Zeff even into adulthood and after he makes it big and he still calls Sanji little eggplant.

Zoro and Sanji are always doing that, "Kind of flirting, not really” thing on stage.  Sanji is always like walking up to Zoro on stage and acting like he's going to kiss him but pushing him away at the last moment. And it's this huge mystery whether they're actually an item or not. This comes from Nami. Sanji and Zoro have this natural chemistry with each other that leads to speculation and Nami, knowing how boy band fan bases work, saw dollar signs. But it’s not just pragmatism on her part; she knows that one cannot simply go up to Zoro and Sanji and say “You obviously like each other. You should date.” So she makes money and helps her friends find happiness.

Usopp has speculation going on as well. People are always confused as to who he’s dating. Tabloids keep being like "Usopp dumped Nami and is now dating Luffy!" "Luffy Scorned?" "Luffy ditches Usopp and steals his girl!" And they just think the entire thing is hilarious. They collect headlines. The answer is Usopp is dating Luffy and Nami and Luffy and Nami just become really affectionate with each other after dating Usopp long enough. Also Nami is dating Vivi, like I mentioned, and sometimes Nami brings her on as a plus one. 

Sanji and Zoro keep giving conflicting answers about their relationship status. Like they'll tell one person they hate each other and another person they're gonna get married someday. Sanji has to walk this fine line of being "in love" with all of his female fans and also "in love" with Zoro. Or not. Who knows? Like Sanji enjoys the attention but he really really plays shit up for his fangirls. This makes Sanji even more popular. Just picture pages upon pages of Sanji/Reader and “Zanji” fics on Wattpad. Nami is one smart lady. "I am the smartest, prettiest, most clever person alive."

Zosan getting together really is just a bunch of Fake Dating tropes. At first it really is just to get more press for the band. Nami schemes with Usopp and Robin to push them together. Robin's a social media genius and knows how to craft tweets and Instagram posts that fans will overanalyze. 

Meanwhile eventually Zoro and Sanji admit to each other they have actual feelings and one day Usopp finds Sanji sleeping in Zoro's bed, both of them completely tuckered out. But they don’t know Nami crafted this. They just come clean and hope she won't be mad and she's like, "Yes! Finally!" and they're like "What?" and she's like, "I've been waiting for you two to realize you have actual feelings. Did you really think I'd just use you for profit like that?" and they're both like "Yes" "Of course"

Zoro’s mad at her for meddling. Secretly he’s grateful, but he doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction and he’s yelling until Sanji grabs his hand and he just calms down.

And to bring Elton John back into the picture, just picture Sanji doing a cover of “Your Song” and uploading it online and thinking about Zoro. Naturally the comments are abuzz with people speculating that he’s singing about Zoro. And like. Onstage Sanji does his rendition and sends these small glances Zoro’s way, partially because he knows it’ll get the band a lot of attention, partially because that song is sweet and beautiful and it’s such a simple way to explain his feelings. (There is a reason why Moulin Rouge included it!!) I imagine this happens before they come clean to each other. Like, Zoro comes to him and is all “I keep thinking about that song you did...” And they go from there.

And eventually the band comes to its natural end. 

Usopp goes solo and flourishes, working as a songwriter and a producer. He wrote the band’s songs and he’s had a drum kit since he was, like, ten and he can make his own beats. He’s not the singing type (though he is good at it and could reach new heights if he came out of his shell), so he’s the kind of artist who makes the beat and then gets super famous pop singers to feature on his tracks. But he also writes songs for other singers and is so good at it and produces other artists’ tracks. I also like the idea that he’s taught himself to play multiple instruments, but he prefers the drums/percussion. He totally played percussion in school and was in marching band. I was in marching band for one year. I loathed every second of it, but I know he’d be phenomenal in drum corps.

Luffy isn’t much in music anymore, but he keeps himself busy. He’s something of an influencer, the kind of celebrity who gets paid to wear fashion brands’ clothing. He’s also Usopp’s trophy husband, living off the money he made off the band. Usopp grew wise to Nami’s antics and made sure he and Luffy would live comfortably for the rest of their lives, even if Usopp were to retire. Luffy also is secretly a Buzzfeed journalist because it’s fun for him to write these hit articles and people not know it’s him because he’s writing on this super bland pseudonym. 

And then there’s Zosan. They have a falling out after the band splits and go their separate ways.

Sanji quits being a professional singer because he’s tired of the prying into his personal life, but he still mentors and/or teaches. He has a string of girlfriends and finds no fulfillment in those relationships because the women are only interested in his celebrity.

And they aren’t Zoro.

Zoro tried branching off into commercials for fitness, but his heart wasn’t in it. He kind of takes up ranching on a whim and learns that he’s really good at it. He likes the physical labor, the quiet, being away from it all, nobody knowing his name. He doesn’t pursue anyone after Sanji because he feels like if it’s meant to be, someone will appear.

And Sanji does.

Sanji finds out where Zoro is through Luffy. So he makes his way to the ranch and finds Zoro and Sanji is all “Come back. I miss you.”

And there’s just a lot of soft Zosan content during Sanji’s visit. Sanji’s always been afraid of horses, but he’s not afraid when he’s with Zoro, and Zoro teaches him they can be gentle creatures, it’s just that you just have to respect them. (Ha. Get it?) Zoro takes Sanji on a ride and they go out and he takes him up the mountain and shows him how beautiful the view is. Sanji's watching the sunset and he's like, "Damn that's the prettiest thing I've ever seen." And Zoro is looking at Sanji and he says, "It sure is." And Sanji's like, "you're not... even looking." And Zoro's like, "No, I'm looking alright. Prettiest thing I've ever seen for sure."

More soft things like Zoro taking off his cowboy hat and putting it on Sanji. Them sitting by the fire, Zoro playing acoustic while Sanji sings. Whenever people see them they’ll ask them if they’re musicians and they share a knowing smile and say “Yeah. Something like that.”

And Zoro convinces Sanji to move out there with him. The others come to visit. Luffy and Chopper are obsessed with the cows and horses and the chickens. Luffy wants, like, eight pet chickens. Usopp is skeptical. Doesn’t believe Lu can look after a pet.

And it kind of ends there. It was us going back and forth, oftentimes out of chronological order, and so here I am putting it all together because it’s too good not to share. But it was a lot of fun.

[whatifsandspheres]

Since having @mutiechameleon deactivated by Tumblr, now my only mentions of The Project, especially the more casual, informal, and personal are gone. There's Facebook, I guess, but meh.

I've been thinking recently about how many people online gripe abotlut this or that following them from their childhood. Personal issues they never resolved. Things that can be fixed or mitigated considerably with some therapy and counseling.

My issues? Nope.

An engineer or a musician can have a chaotic and wreck of a day or week at work, come home or sit in a bar, their parent's couch, a therapist's-- and have the language and words for what their troubles are, even if they don't word them. A mutual ground can be established or alluded to, approached.

I didn't terribly mind being so mature when I was younger. I thought it was flattery and a way to try to get on my good side or praise themselves when others would comment it as their observations. I wanted to claim it, not be self-assured and overconfident about it only to make a fool out of myself. Keep cool, stay calm, try to think, try to observe. Try to be the last possible reason for something not working out right, even try to be the main reason it may work out better-- without holding anyone else back.

Now?

I see the same sort of shit that I thought would end after everyone my age was "expected" to demonstrate maturity and critical thinking. Except they're not expected to. "The real world" doesn't demand it from them. I see the same problems as before, except not they grow out of control and develop positive-feedback loops of echo chambers and groups.

This isn't about how "I wish I had enjoyed my youth." I think it's perfectly conceivable and rational to enjoy elements of youthfulness and fun while still being sensible mature and responsible adults. I think it's possible to be wise and still be wholly human.

But to be criticized and ridiculed, talked down to, harassed and antagonized to the breaking point over and over again... As if none of anything I have already proven to be of my own free will matters anymore. Those same little shits who laughed and giggled about pissing off the substitute teacher and getting her to break down and cry-- they never had to abandon that inner nature. They never had to grab it by the neck and force it to keep from doing harm. They aged out and now they "don't have!" They start families and have cookouts. They teach their kids the same shit. And I realize that it wasn't "the other kids are a little behind, but we all have to care for each other, they'll realize it when we're all just as grown," but instead "if I don't submit to a role in society that coexists with the capricious, egotistic, whims of these seeds of abusive elements, I'll have to deal with their overgrown forms and risk my life for their morbid amusement-- I need to fit in or they'll tear me apart like zombies with a resilient squeek-toy."

I didn't choose to believe or even think of that second option.

So now for my own family to be playing the roles of that other side, sincerely... With my own mother traveling hundreds, almost 2,000, kilometers to mock me to my face and call me stupid, a retard, "Hermano Lelo," and make "grunting idiot" noises to my face, in my own house... My father to call me a coward for not catering to the abuses of government farces and spineless cliques? The irony and contradiction. For those parents to mock what I work on and ridicule it even when I say I'm proud of what I can accomplish. To mock me and say "oh, sure you'll have a whole INDUSTRY," when I talk about hydrocarbon fuels. "Nobody Is ever going to buy any of that. You're going to make fuel from the toilets?! Haha." To threaten me themselves with the same type of harm others have done to me.

No.

I was the patient child. Quiet. Observative. Not scheming, not seething, not resentful, not hateful. I loved. I cared. Not insecure (well, at least not excessively so), and not full of myself.

But for them, them! To want to feed me to these idiot dog-shits? For them to scheme?! My own family? The family I planned since childhood to do my best to honor and provide comfort in their old age and retirement?

No.

I've been questioning myself since that day in 2019, and I know I shouldn't, but I have to be sure. I can't just drown it out with self-indulgent ego self-affirmation mantras. I won't be like these assholes. I'm not stupid.

I know I ridicule the narrow-mindedness of IQ tests and other similar measures of a person. It mattered a bit more to me when I was younger. I scored in the 99th percentile in that Raven's Progressive Matrices test, and once I was moved into the classes the teachers liked me and complimented me for my alleged intelligence (my parents claim they didn't choose to move me up a grade like my second-grade teacher suggested because they wanted me to be around kids my own age and thought I might not make friends if I were to skip a grade). As time went on, I lost interest in school itself, not the substance or the subjects. I was never a nuisance or trouble to my teachers, but some did express they wished I engaged with the classes and material more and tried to play the grading game. "It's for your future."

I see now that it wasn't. It wouldn't have been.

What an unfulfilling future it would have been if I had stayed on those train tracks to comply with the mobs that lynch those who don't cater to them.

It would have been to push buttons and pull levers to wipe these parasites' asses for them and take out their garbage for them because they're too concerned with their hedonistic sprawl to do it well enough themselves. It would have been so that I would blame myself for the shortcomings of others, and so that I can judge myself by the standards of how well I cater to them. Because, look around.

I'm a bit glad I didn't waste too much of my time on that stuff, and that I valued learning more than being praised by appearing to learn or accomplish.

This will kill me if I don't fight against it. Even then, it still might. Even if I live, it only takes one dump of shit by every household to fill the canals, it's not an all-consuming task, job, or chore for these abusers to enjoy pitching in their hate.

I'm not stupid, and I don't have to prove it to those who only get joy from spoiling my path before, during, and after I pass.

Oh, and as far as socializing, Jesus-fucking Christ, man. It's not a clinical diagnosis for correcting not to be willing to be a piece of shit. It's not autism, it's not Asperger's, it's not antisocial, it's not a disorder. Maybe your definition of neurotypical is a bit of the problem that allows these assholes to proliferate and infect the minds of the impressionable.

I'm the only one who will ever be capable of mourning my death, I have the advance warning and knowledge of my mortality and I'd like to someday be able to deal with a humanity that isn't hollowed out for something that's less honorable and that is more putrid than vultures and maggots.

-----_-----_-----_-----_-----_

That boat.

I somehow thought I'd have a small boat by now. Some barges out in international waters. Equipment, tools, more proof.

Hm.