#even if they’re not gay they’re just so incredibly soft for each other

[callsign-bubbles]

YESSSSSSSSSSS

Actually I drew it a year ago🥹they are cute

[elvensorceress]

idk I get incredibly angry at homophobes being cast on my gay shows. anybody want the start of my fic where Eddie dumps her bigoted ass and then has a gay ole sexy time with his husband and his husband's new boyfriend? because here. you can have. it's cathartic 💕

test drive - 2K, BuckTommy, BuckEddieTommy, Buddie endgame forever / Explicit

The restaurant is dimly lit in a way that might be classy and romantic, but Tommy’s hand is also on Buck’s thigh. And he’s having a lot of very not-classy, not even very romantic sorts of thoughts. Everything is far more along the lines of, he could put his hand on my dick, and I know what his cock feels like down my throat, and why are we here in a public place when we could be back at my loft taking turns fucking each other until we’re both a mess of cum and lube and sweat and sexy bruises and love bites? Because all of that is way more appealing than what they are sitting here, waiting to do. 

If it were just one of their dates, it’d be great. Those are fantastic. Tommy likes to pick him up and take him to nice places and he smiles in a really, really soft cute way that also has an air of, I am going to fuck you until you scream and you will love every second. And holy fucking god, does Buck love every second. 

Bisexuality, man. Who knew? 

It’s so fantastic. It’s so different? Or maybe it’s just that Tommy is different because he’s ridiculously cool and hot and Buck always really liked when someone knew what they wanted and would take the lead and he could do everything in his power to please them and make them feel good. Confidence is infinitely sexy and competence even more so. And Tommy has all of that in spades. 

And Buck loves men. Buck really loves men. It makes so much sense and how had he never even considered? Maybe he considered but he sure as hell never realized wanting a man and being attracted to a man was something that fit so well. Fuck, it fits so well. 

Maybe he could even end up with a man someday? Maybe he could marry a man and have a relationship that is like this all the time for the rest of his life? Not that he doesn’t like women still. Women are great. People who don’t identify as either or they identify as both or however they choose— they’re great, too. 

Everyone is hot and Evan Buckley is very bisexual, and it just might be one of the greatest revelations he’s ever had. 

He’s just really, really enjoying being with a man right now. 

He is not, however, enjoying the thought of this dinner. Everything about this dinner makes his stomach a washing machine of anxiety. For no reason. He doesn’t know why. There’s nothing wrong with it. 

Why wouldn’t he and his boyfriend go on a double date with his best friend who is their mutual friend, and his best friend’s girlfriend. What is wrong with that? It’s fine. Should be— fun? 

Shouldn’t be a bad taste in his mouth that the wine still hasn’t gotten rid of and roiling in his stomach that is really killing his appetite. But it very much is. 

Tommy squeezes Buck’s thigh and rubs it in a way that surely is supposed to be comforting. But it makes Buck want to drag him out of this restaurant and back to the loft where he can show Tommy how good he is at fucking him now. Not just because it would be a thousand times better than the prospect of this dinner. The bar is so low on the ground, it’s buried at this point. But also because sex with his new boyfriend is better than— actually, Buck is having a hard time thinking of anything that is better right now. 

Very hard time. 

They’ve been practicing. Everything. Blowjobs, fucking, fingering, ball massages, prostate milking, rimming— all sorts of really fun things Buck never even imagined could feel so good. Not that he was oblivious to a lot of it. He has toys. His ex was into pegging. Buck might have been unaware of how intense and gay— well, bi. He’s bi now. Buck is bi now. Probably always was but he knows it now. He’s bisexual.— his attraction to men could be. But he was not unaware of sexual acts that feel good to his body. 

But it’s totally different with a real man and a real cock and being manhandled by someone who might actually be bigger and stronger than you is really fucking hot. 

He checks his watch again and it’s already 7:28. They’re almost half an hour late. Which is so not like Eddie. He’s not sure if Marisol is like that but he knows for sure Eddie is either fifteen minutes early for everything or he texts if there is a problem. Even then, he’s only ever a few minutes late. If that. And last Buck checked, there were no new messages on his phone. 

He checks again, and still nothing. Not even to Buck’s message of, hey u ok? u on the way? He frowns and sets his phone back on the table and turns to Tommy. “How long before I’m allowed to be really worried?”

Tommy gives him an amused smile. “You can be worried.”

“How long before we need to bother Athena? Ten more minutes? Five? Sh-should I bother Athena now?”

Tommy’s eyebrows scrunch and he looks at Buck like he’s crazy. Okay, it’s probably crazy. Just. He’s worried? That must be the churning in his stomach. “I’m sure Eddie’s fine. It hasn’t been that long. And he’s Eddie.”

Yeah. Yeah, he’s Eddie. But Eddie was also shot downtown in the middle of broad daylight and nearly bled out all over, and there’s not much anyone can do even if they are trained in hand to hand combat and self-defense and those kinds of things. Not many ways to defend against a sniper round that shouldn’t even be a thing. 

Not that Buck is thinking about that. Ever. 

He’s just turning into a washing machine over this dinner. That’s all. 

Five minutes later, some of it finally eases when Eddie finally shows up and sits down across from them. Alone. 

Alone?

“Sorry, guys,” Eddie runs a hand through his hair and breathes like he’s run a hundred miles. He’s hardly been looking distressed at all lately. He’s been glowing smiles and pretty laughs. Not pretty. Nice? Good? Good that he’s so much happier and at peace. 

But he’s not that now. 

“I would’ve—” Eddie checks his own watch, one that was a Christmas present that Buck had engraved with, all the time you need, and must realize how late he actually is. “Fuck. Sorry. Really sorry. I’ll buy? Unless you’ve already eaten and paid and are about to leave.” 

Tommy shakes his head and has that nice smile that’s so reassuring. “We haven’t. Don’t worry about it.”

“We were waiting,” Buck adds and itches to ask him what’s wrong, why he’s late, why he looks— like he isn’t okay. 

“Great.” Eddie nods tersely and it sounds anything but great. “They got anything stronger than wine and cocktails here? Because—” He doesn’t say. But he does make a face the conveys everything. 

“Doubt it,” Tommy says. “But we can get something somewhere else. Is Mar— Mari?”

“Marisol,” Buck supplies. Not that it matters. Not that he cares. Is he supposed to care? There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s fine. 

“Right,” Tommy says, which should say everything. Eddie’s been hanging out with Tommy for months, Buck’s been with Tommy for months, and Tommy is pretty damn good at remembering people’s names. “Marisol. Is she still on the way?”

Eddie’s jaw gets very tight. “No. We’re done.” 

Tommy looks at Buck and Buck looks at Tommy. They’re done? They broke up? Not that it’s particularly surprising. Part of the curse of dating someone you met on a call. Gotta be. Also the whole thing where Eddie has some kind of commitment issues or something because as soon as he gets a girlfriend, he has to spend all his time doing anything besides being with said girlfriend.

“So, drinking?” Tommy says. 

Buck pushes his wine glass across the table. They usually share when they eat together. Drinks, food, anything. And he’s happy to offer it to the cause. 

“Yes, drinking.” Eddie takes Buck’s wine and downs all of it. 

Eddie’s single again. Marisol isn’t coming to dinner and she’s not part of their lives any longer. Not that Buck has a problem with her. She’s fine. She was nothing really. That wasn’t going to last. Eddie likes the idea of being with someone. So he says. He’s allergic to actually having a relationship for some reason. 

The washing machine in Buck’s stomach disappears though. Which is so much better. Now, it’s just Buck hanging out with his best friend and his boyfriend. 

Maybe there’s a little washing machine. It’s nothing though. 

They order food and drinks, and Eddie only goes through a couple shots and three glasses of wine and one beer. But he eats and also drinks water and doesn’t seem inebriated at all. So, they focus on the meal and Tommy’s latest work stories of helicopter rescues. 

It’s not until after Buck discreetly hands their waiter his credit card before they’re actually brought the bill, that Eddie actually starts talking.

“I kind of fucked up. Didn’t mean to. I owe you an apology,” he says and looks at Buck with worlds of regret and sorrow. 

Whatever it is, Buck forgives him. He’s sure he’s done far worse than whatever it is. “Why? What, uh, what happened?”

Eddie doesn’t look at him. Or Tommy. He does shake his head but not like he’s saying no. More like he’s disgusted. “I let it slip that you two are— that you’re. Dating. Together. Boyfriends? Do you call each other that? Are you boyf— never mind, I let it slip. I’m sorry. That was my bad. Not my secret to tell.”

Tommy looks scrunched and confused again and Buck— he doesn’t understand what the problem is? No, he hasn’t told many people yet. But it’s not a secret that he and Tommy are together. 

“Eds,” Buck says and immediately thinks he probably shouldn’t have called him that. He doesn’t know why. But he shouldn’t. “It’s fine. I’m not— It’s not a secret. I’m not hiding. Or— or in the closet? I’m out. Now. I’m bi and—” And he’s really happy about that. He really loves it. He’s bisexual. He loves women and men and whoever regardless of gender. And holy shit, does he love men right now. He really, really loves being with a man. He looks to his side and grins brightly at Tommy. “And I’m not ashamed or embarrassed that Tommy and I are together.”

There’s a cute half smile that curves the side of Tommy’s mouth and Buck so wants to kiss him. And do all sorts of other things with him. 

“Well. Good.” Eddie taps his finger on an empty shot glass like he’s contemplating ordering another. “Still. Didn’t go well. Didn’t mean to out you like that.”

“Didn’t go well?” Tommy asks. “Saying that Evan and I are dating didn’t go well?”

Eddie purses his lips and does a slow, exaggerated shake of his head. “Nope. But at least I learned that now. Has the waiter brought our check yet? Because I’m just going to drink more if I don’t head out soon. Not that I’m sad about her or anything. I’m pissed. You think you know someone, and no. No, she’s a raging homophobe.”

She— oh. Oh, that’s what happened. “She broke up with you because we’re gay? Bi and gay? Or— you know what I mean.” Is Tommy gay? Or bi? Or something else? Buck hasn’t actually asked what label he uses. How he qualifies his sexuality. He felt weird asking. It’s so personal. Is he supposed to ask? All he knows is that Tommy was into him. Tommy kissed him and it was breathtaking, incredible, magnificent and changed Buck’s whole life. He didn’t really think anything beyond that. Couldn’t really think beyond that. 

Eddie definitively points at himself and then at phantom nothingness. “I dumped her. Because I said this was a double date with you guys and she said, well not really, and I said, no really. It’s a double date. Her and me and both of you. Double date. Except not her. Ever. Anymore. Because she had to go off about how it was wrong and made her uncomfortable and I ‘let both of you be alone with Christopher?’ And it couldn’t possibly be a date like me and her would go on a date because she’s a woman and I’m a man and that was normal. But you two are both men. Both muscular, powerful, masculine, manly firemen type men— so it could never be the same especially because neither one of you are flamey or girly or whatever, so it could never work, the two of you since neither one of you is ‘The Girl.’ Which is all bullshit. By the way. Obviously. And,” he finally stops and breathes, and there’s a hard swallow in his throat and his eyes are distant and his whole body is strung tight and if he could breathe fire? He probably would. Holy shit, he’s pissed off. Buck isn’t even sure he’s ever seen Eddie this angry at anyone who hasn’t hurt someone he loves. 

Although. Technically she did? Not hurt per se, Buck doesn’t give a shit about what she thinks of him. But she was insulting them. So. Yeah, okay, of course fiercely protective Eddie would be angry. 

“And anyway,” Eddie says, still never quite looking at Buck or even at Tommy. Never quite focusing on them. “That’s how I’m single and back on the market again.” He smiles a wide, bitter, snarky kind of smile, and steals the half-full beer glass in front of Buck and downs it in one gulp. 

(Read on AO3)

[actualhumantrashcan]

I can understand a silly workplace comedy about pirates not being everyone’s jam but I really can’t understand the amount of queer people I see hating on ofmd.

like for one thing most of the debates turn into gatekeeping queerness (which I think has a lot more to do with the ages of the main couples than actual concerns about authentic representation but that’s another post) and the rest are just hateful because it doesn’t directly name or label it’s queer characters but like why do we need that at this point?? listen I love heartstopper with all my heart but it is exhausting to watch them explain queer identities sometimes (even though I do think it’s super useful for younger audiences I’m just not the target demographic!) and ofmd is an explicit, violent, adult show that doesn’t NEED to explain it’s character’s identities.

queer people past their 30’s are usually very well aware of their queerness and have had (hopefully) plenty of time to go through the arc of discovering that. so why would we need to see Stede or Lucius or Ed going through turmoil because they’re attracted to men when they have already come to terms with that at this point in their lives?? i for one find it so fucking refreshing to watch a show where the characters being queer is not their main arc, they just ARE queer and life is still happening to and around them. maybe that’s just the millennial gay in me talking, but it gets emotionally exhaustive to watch show after show where the queer character’s arc is overcoming homophobia. yes obviously homophobia still exists and yes obviously if ofmd was trying to be historically accurate these characters would be living in a very dangerous time to be queer but it isn’t trying to be accurate!! it’s trying to be fun and diverse and kind!!

and also, they aren’t pretending homophobia doesn’t exist!! it’s just addressed in a different way. Stede was emotionally abused by his father for his entire life for being “soft” and then was chased down by his homophobic childhood bullies, one of which explicitly told him that he “defiled” the great pirate Blackbeard by simply falling in love with the man behind that name. Meanwhile Ed was forced into the world of piracy at a young age and developed the entire persona of Blackbeard (who fits the toxic, violent masculine stereotype of the time) to hide the fact that he’s actually an incredibly sensitive and deeply queer man! and is told multiple times by male figures in his life that sex with other men is fine but it is absolutely unacceptable to be in love with a man. both of their arcs contain homophobic rhetoric that is still present in society today, but its never presented as a problem that they have to wrestle with. they don’t have to come to terms with what it means to love each other, they just have to overcome some trials that go along with the complicated lives they both lead as a pirate and former aristocrat. the homophobia in ofmd is woven into the backstory of each and every character, it shapes them into the people they are at the beginning of the show when all of their walls are up and they are performing the “pirate” roles they are supposed to play. and then we get to see them grow and realize that they are in a safe space, part of a community not just on the ship itself but in the life of piracy (which in the show is pretty much explicitly an allegory for queer lifestyles.)

anyway, I could rant about this all day but just truly why do we have to tear people down for enjoying something? why do we have to find reasons to hate something so obviously created with sensitivity to it’s queer audience and with so much queer joy? if historically inaccurate gay pirates going on silly adventures and falling in love are not your thing, fine! but perhaps just let people enjoy things and find your own things to enjoy.

[meddling-in-horror]

Giving Them the Moment: How Our Flag Means Death and it's Portrayal of Black Men is the Most Important Thing on Television Right Now

Note: written April 20, 2022

Media is an incredibly distinct way of communicating. It has a wide reach, and each person has their own interpretation of what they see. That’s the beauty of the medium as a whole. However, there are often downsides, especially when it pertains to the West. In the US in particular, there is a trend within popular media to lean towards propagandization. Whether it’s the idea that communism and socialism are products of the ‘Evil East’ or the lingering effects of the Motion Picture Production Code - also known as the Hays Code, the media monopolies have a firm grasp on what we as a society watch and enjoy. 

When you begin to play close attention to how the media portrays Black men, this becomes abundantly clear.

It is a rare thing when we see Black men whose characters aren’t portrayed as being the object nor the perpetrators of violence. In fact, only one mainstream popular show comes to mind: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. But even then, the given circumstances of Fresh Prince revolve around Will’s escape from the violence of the ‘urban’ inner city. This vilification of Black men dates back to the 1910s with D. W. Griffith’s Birth of a Nation, and continued into the 1930s, where Black people were often personified as the monsters, representing the ‘exciticism’ of the world beyond the West. It is the ‘exoticism’ that has played a huge part in the dehumanization of Black men as a whole. But as a Black Queer person watching Our Flag Means Death, it is breaking that mold in an incredibly important way.

The Black men in the show are allowed to have fun.

This show is breaking barriers left and right. Of the major recurring cast of 15, over half of them are people of color. It’s overt and unflinching portrayal of Queerness when so many of its older viewers - myself included - have lived through the Bury Your Gays and Dead Lesbians tropes time and time again is overwhelmingly refreshing. Nearly all characters are Queer until proven straight and represent all parts under the umbrella, including Leslie Jones’ polyamorous pirate queen and Vico Ortiz - a non-binary actor - playing a non-binary character. 

But in a world where the narratives of Black men are so often framed around violence and brutality, the Black crewmates of the Queen Anne’s Revenge - Frenchie, Oluwande, and Roach - are allowed to be funny and vulnerable. Each one of them is starkly different from the other with identifiable characteristics that allow the audience to humanize them. The trio quickly became my favorites among the crew, with Roach being the stand-out amongst them. Samba Schutte’s often deadpan delivery never fails to draw a laugh from me, in particular the assertion that “meat is meat”. Frenchie, played by Joel Fry, is the quickest on the draw where his intellect is concerned, being posited in the show’s fifth episode as having had a hand in inventing the pyramid scheme while spouting the wildest of conspiracy theories and being afraid of cats (they’re witches, they steal your breath, and have knives in their feet, you know). The softness and constant vulnerability of Samson Kayo’s Oluwande may be one of the most important aspects of the show, as it establishes him as a reliable and trustworthy confidante to not just Jim, but to Rhys Darby’s Stede Bonnet as well.

They exist in their own separate spheres on the ship, going about their own separate business completely unbothered. While it is implied they lead violent lives as pirates, this violence isn’t used to define them as characters. In fact, Oluwande stated that both he and Jim engaged in piracy because they “had no choice”. The brief mention we get of Frenchie’s backstory implies that he lives a life of servitude, though whether that was as an enslaved person or a freed Black domestic worker is not mentioned. While there is little known about Roach so far, it is implied that his culinary skills are far beyond the levels of what is needed aboard a pirate ship.

The friendships and relationships they form within the crew aren’t built on violence either, but on open and honest communication. Most notably, the friendship of Frenchie and Wee John Feeny, played by Kristian Nairn. Fry and Nairn are an impeccable comic duo when their characters become ‘room people’, and the scene where they begin to design their new space is a personal highlight of the episode. Oluwande and Jim’s romance - played to perfection by Kayo and Ortiz - is one that revolves around both characters being almost devastatingly open with each other. Both actors play the emotional vulnerability of the characters well, and it is important to emphasize that it is Kayo’s Oluwande that moves to meet Jim where they are. 

While the show allows all its men to show varying levels of emotional vulnerability - an exception being offered to the emotionally constipated Izzy Hands, played by Con O’Neill - there is something so special about seeing that luxury afforded to Black men. This show has, in just ten episodes, has become a game changer for the television industry. It has proved that a show with explicitly Queer characters can become a massive sleeper hit, and that sometimes the best kind of historical show is one that is historical fiction. But it has also proved that you can create a narrative with Black men that doesn’t include their stories being framed in violence or brutality, that they can be funny, charming, witty, vulnerable, intelligent, complex characters with their own narratives that serve a purpose outside of a device of exoticism. It is this rare thing that makes these characters, and indeed the show as a whole, so important to its viewers. 

We deserve more vulnerability, more humor, and more humanizing content from these three men, and this show is one that is truly deserving of a glorious second season.

Sources:

Donaldson, Leigh. “When the media misrepresents Black men, the effects are felt in the real world.” 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/aug/12/media-misrepresents-black-men-effects-felt-real-world.

Kumah-Abiwu, Felix. “Media Gatekeeping and Portrayal of Black Men in America.” 

Opportunity Agenda. “Media Portrayals and Black Male Outcomes.” 

https://www.opportunityagenda.org/explore/resources-publications/media-representation-impact-black-men/media-portrayals.

Our Flag Means Death, (2022-). HBO Max.

[icaruspendragon]

Would love to see your take on heartstopper ( maybe tao and nick bonding? Bonus points if mama nelson is on board)

and when i tell you i’ve got 17k words worth of nick-centric charlie pov that i’ve been writing for like ten months living in my docs LMAO

pls enjoy this snippet in hopes that validation will be enough to get me going on it again hshs

“Charlie is shivering in his seat, January air clinging to him long after he finished the walk to his children’s literature lecture. His hands are wrapped around a paper cup, clutching it in a desperate attempt to leech some of the tea's warmth into his nearly numb fingers, gaze focused on the laptop in front of him. Charlie generally keeps his head down at the start of term, preferring to be seen and not heard for the first couple of weeks to get a feel for things. That way he knows how to conduct himself. Still, almost instinctively, he looks up upon hearing a new set of footsteps cross the threshold, wondering idly if it’s anyone he knows from last term.

Charlie most definitely does not know the stranger hesitating just past the doorway. He’s rosy-cheeked and strawberry-blonde and boyish. And he’s just standing there as he scans the room in search of a seat like it’s the most casual thing in the world, like he isn’t making Charlie feel like the human equivalent of an error 404 message.

He may not know the other boy, but Christ does he want to. He’s pulled from the beginnings of a daydream featuring a rosy-boy when the gaze of the boy in question lands on Charlie. His lips quirk upwards and lopsided and soft when their eyes meet. And it’s a moment that feels significant for some reason, like it’s stretching out before them like honey falling from a spoon. Slow and sweet and promising warmth. It stretches further when the unnamed boy walks toward the empty seat beside him and his cheeks get impossibly rosier with each step.

Charlie’s brain offers two incredibly unhelpful thoughts as his seatmate gets settled: He’s so pretty and oh no.

Gay panic makes itself right at home while he tries (and rather spectacularly fails) not to stare too hard at the boy next to him. He turns slightly and now they’re face to face. Charlie learns his eyes are brown. They’re brown like honey, warm and sweet. And he has freckles. So many freckles. So many constellation clusters dusted across rosy, rosy cheeks.

Charlie realizes that silently staring at the boy next to him is weird, “Hi.”

The rosy-boy smiles, looking at Charlie with his honey-warm eyes for several seconds before offering a quiet greeting of his own.

“Hi.”

He knows something else is supposed to happen now, something he needs to do. He just can’t remember what it is.

“I’m Nick.”

Even his voice is pretty. Another distracted moment passes with Nick looking at him all honey-eyed and rosy-cheeked. Then another before oh shit, I’m supposed to also introduce myself.

“Charlie.”

A handful of distracted moments pass where they look at each other for what’s probably a beat, then two, then three too long. Nick exhales through his nose, it’s a gentle approximation of a laugh, but then their professor is standing up from the desk and walking to the lectern and Nick turns his head to the front of the room. Charlie does the same, managing all of ten seconds before giving into temptation and casting a sidelong glance at Nick.

His smile is still soft.

His cheeks are still rosy.

And he’s looking at Charlie, too.”

[steddieunderdogfics]

for challenge monday 'fics with playlist' i'd like to rec three incredible fics

'Tooth and Nail' by ParadimeShifts

'Take the Money and Run' by thisapplepielife

and 'I wore his jacket for the longest time' by Legitcookie & sidekick_hero

Tooth and Nail by ParadimeShifts

Listen to the official playlist here!

@paradimeshifts7

Rating: Explicit

113,060 words, 7/7 chapters

Archive Warning: Creator chose not to use

Tags: Band Fic, Mentions of Suicide and Suicidal Ideation, Drug Use, Background Drumcheer, Background Byler, Slow Burn, i can’t help it - it’s all I know, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, The comfort will come TRUST ME, Rockstar Eddie Munson, Musician Steve Harrington, I’ll have the Robin and Steve codependency special please, Smut, Rough Sex, Eddie/Gareth but it’s so fucked up and sad, Happy ending guaranteed I PROMISE, But they’re going to be awful to each other for a while, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, Please read the tags my sweets — I’ll update them, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Face Slapping, Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Light BDSM, Dacryphilia, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex

Summary:

Eddie told himself that he was done, because he wouldn’t survive another heartbreak at that boy’s hands. But he really, really needs someone to open for them on tour. Steve Harrington had waltzed into his life, sucked him in like a siren and fucking eviscerated him with soft touches. And maybe it wasn’t his fault, but Eddie would never forgive him all the same. He’d nursed his Harrington hangover for years, and he’s not about to hand over his sobriety chip just because the guy's got a busted foot and a very apparent issue with alcohol. Not when it had taken work to get Steve out of his system the first time. Steve thinks of long summer evenings beating the heat in his pool, of the stick-and-poke tattoo he’s got on his ankle and chicken scratch handwriting on legal paper. He’s getting caught in the slipstream of his own shattered expectations, and it’s dangerous to cling when the branch is failing, but he thinks he can’t help it. He has a fist full of letters by the time he arrives in Los Angeles, but the Eddie Munson he knew is nowhere to be found. Left to make sense of this new version of the friend he once bared his soul to, Steve’s just trying not to fall off the fucking deep end again.

Take the Money and Run by thisapplepielife

Listen to the official playlist here!

@thisapplepielife

Rating: Explicit

143,931 words, 22/22 chapters

Archive Warning: No Warnings

Tags: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Gay Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Recreational Drug Use, Eddie Munson Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Season/Series 04, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Good Uncle Wayne Munson, Cover Art, Canon-Typical Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Road Trips, Internalized Homophobia, Slow Burn, Falling In Love, Top Eddie Munson, Bottom Steve Harrington, Switching, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, optional future epilogue with kids, can be read without the epilogue

Summary:

“Rules. Like, there’ll be no eating in my car. You’re not driving my car. No heavy metal,” Steve keeps listing, “you’re not picking up women and fucking them in m-” “I'll try to control myself,” Eddie interrupts with a quip, a smirk. Fucking girls in Steve’s car, or anywhere else for that matter, isn’t going to be an issue, unless something pretty fundamental shifts in him. Steve continues, completely ignoring Eddie, “You’ll wipe your feet. You’re not dragging dirt all over my car. No hitchhikers. No cutesy road games. No smoking in the car. I’m not paying for all the gas.” “Ass, gas or grass, got it,” Eddie says, like he's taking this very seriously. He is not taking this seriously. Or: Road trip!

I wore his jacket for the longest time by Legitcookie and sidekick_hero

Listen to the official playlist here!

@legitcookie and @sidekick-hero

Rating: Explicit

58,311 words, 6/6 chapters

Archive Warning: No Warnings

Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Good Parent Joyce Byers, Starting Over, Pining, Lovers to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Praise Kink, Unsafe Sex, Bottom Steve Harrington, Top Eddie Munson, Blow Jobs, Frottage, Tattoos, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, thigh riding

Summary:

Steve has made some bad choices in the past, choices that have cost him his marriage, and even worse than that, Eddie. The man he didn't realize he was in love with until it was too late. Now Steve must pick up the pieces of his life and figure out how to become the man he wants to be. It's a story about love lost and love found, about the importance of friendship and family, and most of all, about second chances and how it's never too late to change.

@sidekick-hero also recommends this fic, adding: "I would love to rec a labor of love from Legitcockie and me, 'I wore your jacket for the longest time' with a wonderful playlist by yournowheregirl 💜"

Thanks for the recs!

These recs are a part of Challenge Monday. The challenge this week was Fics with playlists.

Know a fic that deserves extra love? Submit through our asks or the submission box!

[dhmis-autism]

what’s the biggest mischaracterisation of each character that you feel like you ‘suffer’ from the most? obviously no disrespect to ppl who do characterise them in certain ways! :] this is just out of curiosity…your thoughts are so intriguing:]

I am so sorry I am about to get so unbelievably bitchy and prissy and fussy. I have thought SO much about this question and I have also SEEN so many interpretations of my boys that I completely disagreed with.  Like you said though, clearly, no disrespect to people who characterize them this way! I know I am a very picky, persnickety bitch.

Anyways. Best boy up first.

 Duck mischaracterizations that I hate:

- him being super effeminate and given like an hourglass figure and human woman legs. like what.

- him being feminine being like, his whole personality. I loathe when people just start writing him like a super twinky, aave spitting gay. It’s really fucking weird can you all be normal about him wearing a dress ONE time please. LIKE HES JUST A NORMAL GUY. OK. GOD

- written as a bitchy or abusive mother/parental figure ( specifically towards YG. why.)

- him being super loud and just constantly spouting verbal/physical abuse at the other two (girl he is much quieter than you remember and he insults them like. twice. in 6 episodes. get real.)

- I hate hate hate when people act like RG is his whole world and have him ignore YG/act like he doesnt exist

- him being written as deliberately manipulating the other two, sometimes even like. physically self-harming in order to do so?? like oh my god. he would NOT fucking do that.

- him being written as totally HATING yellow guy and just constantly acting like hes a burden (I’ll actually kill over this one. how dare you. biting)

- weird thing I’ve noticed where people will make him refer to himself as 'the smart/intelligent one' of the group (something he's never done) but then like. the narrative/author will legitimately treat him like he IS very smart. like. no he is not.

- having him take YGs batteries out of sheer malice / ( ABLEISM(??)) and like. hate.  and somehow forgetting how hard he was freaking out that his friend was different earlier in the episode???????

- him being in a nuclear family situation with red with YG as their "son" . like 1. he is NOT a good dad and would not be a good one. 2. he SAID how he feels about that boy if you cant accept dad dog duo as a dad dog duo you do not deserve them

- writing him as CONSTANTLY ANGRY/PISSED OFF oh it makes me wanna shake people by the shoulders and SCREAM like!! Rewatch the show!! Baker Terry did not give us that bizarre and soft and joyous performance for you to write him like Squidward in a yaoi!!!! I’ll KILL YOU!!!!!!! HE IS AN UPBEAT PESSIMIST!!! A CHEERY DEFEATIST!!!!! I’LL GNAW YOUR BONES TO DUST!!!!

- when people make him skinny. How dare you. How DARE YOU. HOW DARE Y

- when people make him taller than YG. I would be less upset if “the smallest one” wasn’t literally something he was called IN THE SHOW

YG mischaracterizations I hate:

-Him being portrayed as GENUINELY stupid. Yes I know the crew call him that, yes I know other characters call him that, I think it’s obvious they’re exaggerating a bit.

-Him being the only one of the three that’s written as incredibly childish (imo, all three of them are a bit childish- but if you write just YG that way, I roll my eyes)

-Him being incredibly passive and soft and nice and conflict avoidant and a huge big pushover crybaby who never fights back or says anything mean.

-When people make it out like he’s really bad at art/draws like a child- really ticks me off because we are EXPLICITLY SHOWN IN EPISODE 1 OF THE WEBSERIES THAT HE’S GOOD AT ART

-I actually hate when people discount a lot of his talents, ppl acting like he wouldn’t be good at music or art when we KNOW HE IS!!!! WE KNOW HE IS!! WHAteever

-Him being socially inept/inadequate ! He is imo the most socially adept out of the 3 of them and the one most likely to thrive among a new friend group

-When people act like. YG with fresh batteries and YG without them are two separate people/have separate personalities??? They are literally the same dude (my good friend Am has a great post on this actually. Here. Read.learn.)

RG mischaracterizations I hate:

-The idea that he is nice. LOL I’m almost joking, but not really. Verbally, he’s very barby and I WISH more people would remember that genuinely.

-When he’s written as the ONLY voice of reason/ smartest guy in the room. He is not. God help him he is so fucking stupid and goofy and canonically loves Smash Mouth and thinks MAGIC is real.

-Super Hyper Sexy Man with vacuum-sealed abs and a COMPLETELY new personality

I have nothing else for him I don’t think of him often.

[paperstorm]

Why do you think Carlos is so convinced that he's a disappointment to his father? Gabriel seemed so happy to see him when they ran into him and TK at the farmer's market. It seems like Carlos has convinced himself for whatever reason that he's not good enough for his father and I can't quite figure out why.

*cracks knuckles* Get ready for an unnecessarily deep dive and a series of truly terrible gifs, kids.

I think that having a not-good-enough complex is a really layered and complicated thing, and it often is the result of a combination of real and perceived things. There have been a lot of people in my life who treated me like I wasn’t good enough, and there are also a lot of people who probably didn’t but I thought they did because I was projecting my own issues onto them. For Carlos I’m sure it’s exactly the same. I, too, fully believed that my parents loved me, and also fully believed I would never be enough for them. Those two thoughts can and often do exist completely in harmony with each other even though they seem contradictory.

We don’t get an enormous amount of backstory into Carlos and his trauma. We get glimpses but this is an ensemble show and they don’t have the time to deep dive into every facet of every character. Here’s what we do know.

Carlos came out to his parents when he was 17, they were shocked, they hugged him, but then never talked about it again. For ten years. That is a long time to never talk about something that’s so pivotal in a person’s life. We never find out exactly why. The show hasn’t (or hasn’t yet) given us Gabriel and Andrea’s reasoning for this. But for Carlos, we can infer from what’s said in canon that he took this to be a sort of ‘hate the sin, love the sinner’ situation.

That his parents still loved him, but didn’t accept his lifestyle. And maybe at first that was true, we don’t know. We just know Carlos clearly thought that he had to stay sort of semi-closeted; not necessarily lie about who he is, but not *act gay*, not talk about it, not bring boys home to meet them. We know that put a ton of strain on their relationship and was a big source of hurt for Carlos, but that his parents meant so much to him that he was willing to do that in order to keep them. Again, we don’t know whether he was right to think that, but we do know that he thought it, so there must have been at least some reasons for that.

We know that Gabriel didn’t want Carlos to become a police officer. Once again we don’t get details on this, we don’t know what that conversation looked like or what Gabriel’s reasons were, but we have the canon fact that Carlos thinks it’s because Gabriel thought he was too soft. That might be a mix of real and perceived, but kids are very perceptive so it wasn’t something Carlos completely made up.

We know that at the end of 2x08 Carlos was genuinely shocked to find out that a) his dad had figured out TK was his boyfriend, and b) he was okay with it. Carlos in 2x04 says “and if that never changes?” in response to TK being willing to pretend they’re just friends, and he says it in such a sincere way that it communicates he genuinely believes it is a possibility that he’s going to have to hide himself forever. He’s not being dramatic, this is a thing Carlos truly believes, so again, there are reasons for that even though the audience doesn't get to know what they are.

We know that Carlos is sensitive. Whether that sensitivity is a strength or a weakness depends on whose eyes you’re seeing it through, but Carlos is incredibly kind and gentle, with a huge heart and past hurts he carries around and a really strong desire to be loved and accepted. If Gabriel is not particularly this kind of person, he might have had a hard time relating to Carlos when he was growing up. When you factor in things like religion, culture (I am not the right person to speak on this but the culture of Latin machismo is a whole thing), and Carlos being either the only child or at the very least the only male child, I don’t have a hard time believing Carlos spent most of his childhood feeling like his dad thought he was too soft. I can easily see that playing out in all kinds of ways over many, many years, even if it’s not something Gabriel ever did on purpose or maliciously.

And then finally we have their adversarial scenes in 2x08 which I think are really clear window into the father/son dynamic between these two.

Carlos is obviously really upset, but Gabriel gives him nothing. He’s doing his job, that’s fair enough, but this is also his child (as far as canon goes, his only child), and he doesn’t do anything to reach out when Carlos is upset and scared and spiralling.

Carlos says at the beginning of the scene that his captain and Gabriel have known each other for 30 years, indicating Carlos not only thinks he’s let his dad down, he thinks he’s embarrassed his dad in front of coworkers and that’s so much worse. Carlos also reveals that “they all” think he got played. He’s being treated by others like a sensitive little baby who isn’t tough enough to do his job, and the man whose approval Carlos needs more than any other human on the planet only serves to reiterate those awful feelings.

There are parts in this scene where Gabriel is sarcastic and almost mocking in the way he deals with what Carlos did.

And then there’s this.

This is the one that kills me the most. Because this is the perfect physical manifestation of Carlos’s claim that his dad thinks he’s too soft. Clearly, in this moment, Carlos isn’t just imagining that. The implication is so loud - Gabriel thinks Carlos is too sensitive and too easily manipulated by emotions to be a good cop. A good cop wouldn’t have been tricked the way he believes Carlos was.

It all feels heavily personal. If Gabriel didn’t know the officer he was questioning, he might not be super warm and fuzzy but there also wouldn’t be this knowing air of like 'sigh. Here we are, once again.' The disappointment just radiates off him (how good is Benito btw but that is a side point) and it seems implied that this is not the first time Gabriel has had to haul his tough Ranger ass in and clean up something that happened because Carlos got his precious feelings hurt.

And then the final blow:

As in, Gabriel thinks Carlos doesn’t. With this hug that doesn’t feel warm or affectionate but more like a mob boss kissing a snitch on the cheek before planting his feet in wet concrete. This scene is so devastating.

Later, when they have suspects and it turns out Carlos was right, he so clearly is once again in need of reassurance and again, he doesn’t get it, which further demonstrates this dynamic between them where Carlos has emotional needs that consistently aren’t being met.

Even calling him Carlitos in this moment feels hurtful, because it feels like he’s still being treated like a little boy. It’s the contextual difference between someone who loves you saying ‘I know, honey’, and someone who is pitying you saying ‘oh, honey …’

So. Tldr, we do have to use a little imagination because we’ve only been provided a skeleton of Carlos’s backstory and we probably are never going to get hours of flashbacks. But there are a LOT of hints sprinkled in, and I think lots of realism in the way it’s portrayed, especially when you factor in culture and consider that Carlos’s feelings of being too soft for his father likely existed well before he knew he was gay, and then his sexuality felt like a bit of a final nail in that coffin. Carlos still aches for his father’s approval and acceptance at 26/27 and has those heartbreaking little moments of 'I did everything you said please love me', but he’s also somewhat resigned to the fact that he doesn’t think he’ll ever get it.

I’m so happy he’s wrong about that.

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group H Round 2: #H5 vs #H8

#H5: Middle school soft tennis club deals with trauma

#H8: Zombies make really good music

Details and poll under the cut!

#H5: Stars Align (Hoshiai no Sora)

Summary:

Constantly outperformed by the girls' club, the boys' soft tennis club faces disbandment due to their poor skills and lack of positive results in matches. In desperate need of members, Toma Shinjou is looking to recruit capable players, but he fails to scout anyone. Enter Maki Katsuragi, a new transfer student who demonstrates great reflexes when he catches a stray cat in his classroom, instantly capturing Toma's attention. With his interest piqued, Toma ambitiously asks Maki to join the boys' team but is quickly rejected, as Maki doesn't wish to join any clubs. Toma refuses to back down and ends up persuading Maki—only under the condition that Toma will pay him for his participation and cover other club expenses.

As Maki joins the team, his incredible form and quick learning allow him to immediately outshine the rest of the team. Although this gives rise to conflict among the boys, Maki challenges and pushes his fellow team members to not only keep up with his seemingly natural talent, but also drive them to devote themselves to the game they once neglected.

Propaganda 1:

Covers a wide variety of issues and gets into the nitty-gritty of the often under-prosecuted instances of child abuse in Japanese society. Multiple LGBT characters, subversions of gender roles, a simple but appealing art style, and some really talented seiyuu to top it all off.

Propaganda 2:

This series is so amazing even though it was cut halfway through (and the trigger warnings, mainly in regard to the environments many of the characters live in) make it difficult to suggest at times. It’s half a sports anime and half a drama, switching between the sports sections and explorations of the lives of the characters involved, the latter of which is the part I really adore. The story discusses the heavily discussed topic of abuse pretty well and also has a good handle on discussions about things like gender (specifically in regard to a canon non-binary character, though there is also a minor character who is a trans man who is also discussed) that I haven’t seen too many other series address, or at least not to the effectiveness of this story. The characters also just have so much charm and compliment each other well, and I love watching them get closer and interact. They’re buddies, and I adore the boys soft tennis team plus Yuu and Mitsue (+ Arashi I guess. He’s from a different school’s team and directly opposed the team, but he very quickly becomes their friend afterwards), as well as all of their dynamics. It’s not a watch for when you’re looking strictly to have a fun time or looking for a complete story, but it’s an amazing story regardless. Also, I love the opening and ending songs so much. I wish this series got its season two so much because it’s so good, I don’t think I did it justice at all.

Trigger Warnings:

Child abuse: Most of the cast is from an abusive household, including mcs.

Domestic abuse: Off-screen/implied, parent of a main character.

Gender/sexuality discrimination: From a parent to a non-binary character + from bullies to a gay character.

Emotional abuse: Some major characters have emotionally abuse parents, this is shown on-screen.

Minor injuries: Blisters, bruises, one scene with plenty of blood but clarified to just be a minor head wound afterwards. etc.

#H8: Zombieland Saga

Summary:

Sakura Minamoto dreams of becoming an idol. Unfortunately, reality hits her like a truck, and she dies in a sudden traffic accident. Ten years later, she wakes up in Saga Prefecture, only to find herself a zombie with no memory of her past. While still coming to terms with her demise, she meets a man named Koutarou Tatsumi, who explains that he has resurrected her and six other zombie girls from different eras for the purpose of economically revitalizing Saga by means of an idol group. Assuming the role of an abrasive manager, Koutarou begins scheduling events; the girls go along with it, eventually deciding to name their idol group Franchouchou. An absurdly comedic take on the idol genre, Zombieland Saga tells the story of Franchouchou's heartwarming struggle to save Saga Prefecture while hiding their zombie identities and rediscovering their past lives.

Propaganda:

ITS SO GOOD OHMYGOD. First of all, the music? Amazing. The 3D animation they use for the dancing isn’t the best, but the songs are all bangers. The story is also amazing—it’s just the right blend of silly and serious to really get you to love and care about the characters. And it WILL make you cry. It’s a really cool take on zombies and really uses the full potential of its premise really well. Its dub is also actually good. The acting is great, and the jokes are translated perfectly.

Trigger Warnings: Animal Cruelty or Death, Child Abuse, Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how they’re presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

[leonsliga]

honestly I love Mason and Declan as well, everytime I see Mason interact with a man I hear wedding bells, that man is so babygirl slay.

totally agree on judy!! can't believe I forgot him, him and halaand definitely did it

As of Rashford and Sancho I'm concflicted because the give me straight vibes separately and gay vibes together, maybe they're each other exceptions 😉😉

btw I've seen a lot people ship Kane and Son but to me Kane is as straight and boring as they come, I can see Richarlison and Son tho

Yes yes YES thank you!! Also, I’m so sorry for the late response anon! The grad school application process has been kicking my ass 😂 BUT NEVER FEAR…I HAVE RETURNED FROM MY SLUMBER

I love that you love them!! Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like there aren’t many Decson shippers around these days, and I genuinely don’t know why. They’re an underrated footy ship imo. I mean, they’ve literally got it all, from the casual touching:

To the soft, loving looks:

And of course, I can’t forget the heartfelt words of affirmation:

(Please note, the pics and gifs are not mine. This is just a compilation of some of my favorite moments of these two 💗 I don’t remember the blog names off the top of my head, but go find them, probs under the Decson tag, and show them some love, ok?)

I totally agree about Haaland and Jude. While there’s no way of truly knowing whether or not anything happened between them, they’ve got such a natural chemistry and a really fun dynamic! Also, have you seen the video of them reciting cheesy pick-up lines for one another, because if you haven’t, consider it required viewing (mostly because it’s absolutely adorable and I have a feeling you’ll love it) 😁

As for Rashy and JLingz, I’m in the exact same boat. I could definitely see them being each other’s exceptions, but only they know whether their relationship is more than friendship or not 🤷‍♀️

Ah yes, I definitely know about Kaneson! I’m not on board with them as a pairing either (at least not just yet…I’m easily converted to any ship tho hehehe), but they make an incredible duo on the pitch, I will say that! Oooh…I didn’t even think about Son and Richarlison as a pairing! If you have any content of them (pics or anything), I’d definitely be interested. I love learning about new ships <3

[passanima]

tag from foot2rue is gay, here’s the receipt, season 3

1/ gabriel spend time with his girlfriend and guess who’s mad about it? the whole team is upset because he has less time to train now; but the first to react and who feel the strongest about it is still tag

2/ BEN IS BACK (dude tag had a visible crush on in s1) and he’s the only one that looks happy about it and they break away from the rest of the group to talk one on one, ben listening to tag’s problems and offering advices. bonus points because tag doesn’t ask any of his teammates for advices (not his bestie or his girlfriend)

3/ they bond over them both being the captain of their teams, the difficulties in the responsability... and tag reacts a bit too strongly when ben says he has to go home now, asking (sounding way too desperate, boy, come on) him to stay a bit longer. the WHOLE vibe when they were talking alone felt incredibly soft from tag’s side and you could explain it as just nostalgia and being happy to see a friend after a long time... expect they weren’t friends but rivals! and ben clearly doesn’t feel the same way i’m so embarrassed for tag

4/ his BEST FRIEND notice how sullen he’s been in the 2 hours since ben left... this boy is yearning for real

5/ ben replace one of their players in a match but because the rest of the team hates him it goes poorly (hmmm sounds familiar) then they hear a rumor that he’s the one behind tag’s accident and they all get mad at him, not giving him time to explain... expect tag. who refuse to believe it and puts his faith in ben. he was, of course, right about that, but in this situation he had no reason to believe ben (the guy has a really bad reputation) yet didn’t hesitate A SECOND wow... that sure is something

6/ the trutst at least is reciprocal because when tag, in the middle of the match, orders ben to do something, he just nods and do so without the need for an explanation or getting annoyed (like some of the other players) and i didn’t expect it as they’re both captains and so could butthead about who’s in charge and ben having a strong personality... it was nice. THEN ben gives advice on how to play and this time it’s tag who decide to put his pride aside as captain and follow him. you see slight hesitation on his face but he does it anyway. IT’S HUGE idk what to tell you, tag can be really stubborn in his bad decisions and gets mad really fast when things don’t go his way so wow again!

7/ listen... i can’t even explain this one cause you need the visuals but. tag trust ben with an insane move, where ben could easily let go at the worst time and hurt him. and he does so while SMILING. not a once of doubt for this boy in his mind. HIS EX-NEMESIS. there would be no story without weirdly earnest 13 y/o gay boys, i’m emotional over this (and laughing cause it was an incredible visual; it’s at the end of ep 4 ig you’re curious about it)

8/ someone is rude to tag’s gf and he doesn’t react to it, even when she’s visibly upset and leave the room because of this, he just ignores her

9/ gabriel gets an opportunity, education wise, that means he will leave the team at the start of next year. and tag is not doing well. the rest of the team is cheering on gab, while tag exit the scene looking all sad... and emotional music starts playing while he looks on the horizon... next a flashback of their moments together the two of them... and tag cries all alone

it makes sense because they’ve known each other their whole life(?)(or most) and are very close but damn. in comparizon gabriel isn’t at all bothered, due to being more rational (this does not mean they won’t see each other again) and riding the high of such big news. really makes you feel for tag

anyway, back on gay reading; it gives tag another reason to be more heartborken over this compared to gab

10/ HE FEELS SO BAD that he has no motivation to play the tournament and even SAYS SO openly to his teammates, i quote “without gabriel there’s no point”. there have been times when other players were at ricks of leaving the team and while annoyed, tag never reacted this badly to it before

holy shit he’s crying in front of everyone this time... they were trying to comfort him with “people leave sometimes, then they come back” and “you should be happy for him as his bestie” but it had the opposite effect on making tag feel like he’s being a shitty friend and he cannot hold back his tears... everyone is shocked of seeing him like this

11/ wasn’t gonna note this one cause it’s not that serious but then shit kept happening. this ep has tag being sick and he elects jeremy as his replacement (as team captain) which makes everyone go “uuuh” cause jeremy is so not made for the post. he fucks it up, of course, and ends up all alone until tag gets better. the team complains about him and tag is the only one who stays behind him the whole time (a bit like with ben... hmm)(tag sure easily relate to the type of guys who are in constant danger of being rejected). the “not serious” part is that at some point jeremy come to tag about the whole situation and they stare at each other smiling while using language that, in french, sounds very romantic (even if the context isn’t)(jeremy “t’es pas mal” tag “t’es pas mal non plus”)(literal “you’re not bad” context being the sport + social thing BUT the very common use of this phrase means finding someone attractive, and i laughed because... a second later tag is on his knees in front of jeremy, his hands on the boy legs. the body language and double meaning is really intense for a scene that should be just “i got your back” like what am i supposed to do with this?)

12/ jeremy complains about his relationship with samira for 2 seconds and tag first reaction is to shut him up with “that’s none of my buisness” which is weird for him as he’s usually there for his friends and chill about romance talk... well, when he’s not interested in the dude talking about it, that is

[socialbunny]

if you don't mind could you please do dirk and dustin for the ask thing,, im very curious

incredibly long word vomit under the cut

Dirk Dreamer

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s sooooo bisexual it’s crazy he has that bisexual color scheme going on toooo

Gender Headcanon: Gnc as fuck he's so nonbinary

A ship I have with said character: Him and his lame ass boyfriend Dustin of course. He meets Dustin for the first time and thinks to himself  ‘What’s up with this stupid white kid?’ and then he falls in love with him. Then he compartmentalizes his feelings for both Dustin and Lilith and tries to justify staying with Lil because he doesn’t want to ‘abandon’ her when he’s crushing on someone else (someone that his girlfriend hates, too) and he starts overthinking the whole thing and Dustin’s sitting next to him like “Ay man can you finish showing your work for this calculus problem so I can copy off you?” Also this is my favorite song I relate to Dustin/Dirk shhhh

i hate that big ass embed help

A BROTP I have with said character: I love him and Lilith being besties in the same but different way I think Angela and Dustin areeeeeee, but it’s also the reason I can never think of a reason they break up but I’ve been thinking of them having a really bad co-dependent relationship just because I feel as if Lilith has a clingy personality? And I feel like Dirk has a semi-avoidant personality and a savior complex at the same time and really has trouble articulating how he feels about things.  I also like him being friends with Ophelia and Johnny and Ripp <3

A NOTP I have with said character: None tbh maybe Angela but that’s just because Angela is a lesbian in my mind and I just feel like they have no chemistry. I don’t even think they’re really friends even though they take a lot of the same classes and see each other outside of school a lot.

A random headcanon: Dirk is the type of person I feel like he’s a fixer and that’s why he likes Dustin and Lilith so much. He’s a control freak in a sense where he hates when people don’t do things to help themselves when they have the ability to do so (like his dad) and it just makes him anxious and stressed out that he has to pull all the weight in his relationships. He also internalizes and represses his own feelings for the most part because he’s everyone's rock and he really hates talking about himself, and all that anxiety and pent up anger inadvertently causes his breakup with Lilith. I also headcanon that he has autism (along with Darren) <33

General Opinion over said character: Lmao I named myself after him that tells you all you need to know I loveeeee the Brokes and Dreamers so much I wish they had more personality especially Dirk who I feel like has nothing going for him but tutorial bait, but it’s ok because i <3 projecting. I think Dirk is way more bitcher and snarkier than most portrayals I see of him

Dustin Broke

Sexuality Headcanon: Dustin Broke….gay boy………. Sometimes i like him bisexual as a little treat because Angela/Dustin makes my heart soft ngl

Gender Headcanon: I hit him with the transgenderfication beam and there’s no cure. He doesn’t call himself trans though he doesn’t really know what being trans one day he just started going by a bunch of different names and dressing more ‘masculine’ or whatever and no one ever said anything because they still think he’s grieving over his dad and that it’s just a ‘phase’

A ship I have with said character: Dustin/Dirk literally is everything to me and I’ve loved them together for as long as I’ve been a premades fan tbh. It’s just something about them and their parallels, which is probably unintentional on Maxis’ part tbh; fire and water, dead parents, jock and nerd  enemies to lovers pairings like it rerouted my brain chemistry. I don’t think Dustin realizes right away that he has feelings for Dirk because he’s focused on the future he thinks he’s going to have with Angela when he finally gets to where he needs to be money-wise. When Angela breaks up with him (after deliberating for a long time, because my Angela is lesbian and she just felt wrong being with him even though she loves him soo much), Dustin spirals just a little bit just a normal amount (ends up back in jail) and he starts hanging out with Dirk more and getting to know him and he starts catching feelings but he really doesn’t know how to address them because this is only the second person he’s ever had these feelings for and he doesn’t want to make anything weird. There’s so many different ways they can end up together, but I don’t feel like they would rush anything I think they’d just crush on each other secretly and never confess their feelings because they’re dumb. Also this is them

A BROTP I have with said character: Angela is his best friend they’re connected at the hip they’re so close and spend almost every day together at Angela’s house even though Daniel hatesss it so much (when Dustin gets over his insecurity about how his home is vs Angela’s, they start spending more time at his place). I feel as if they genuinely have/had feelings for each other due to how much time they spend together and I feel they start ‘dating’ because of this (I also headcanon that they’ve kissed before when they were kids but it doesn’t really count…). I don’t think Dustin had a lot of friends growing up because of being lower income and also he’s just kind of a weirdo. Angela also was the first person to support Dustin’s social transition, and was generally very supportive of him even when she didn’t understand (and still doesn’t really..). I have a lot of things to say about their friendship/relationship but it only makes sense in the context of this story I was writing and in my brain maybe I’ll make another post about it and let it run free idk sometimes when im typing stuff like right now I overthink and start feeling very insecure and embarrassed what I say and I end up procrastinating over something that’s supposed to be fun? Idk sorry for putting this in such a random spot to vent I just have a special attachment to my interpretation of these premades and I just hope the things i say aren’t cringy.

A NOTP I have with said character: I don’t think Dustin and Lilith could ever like each other tbh I think Lilith talks shit about him all the time to Dirk calling him dirty and nasty and white trash and Dirk meets him for the first time and yeah he looks dirty but he also looks lame as hell so every time Lilith talks about him after this he can only imagine this lame ass wet dog man so he just says “Alright babe” with no further input.

A random headcanon: Dustin is very family-oriented and does a lot of what he does because he thinks it’s helping his mom out. He skips school to try and make more money trapping and he’s been caught up so many times and been held overnight in jail twice and it pisses Brandi off so bad because she feels like he’s throwing his life away but he doesn’t want to push him too hard because her mom pushed her and tried to control her life and she ended up pregnant at 17 so… but at the same time they’ll have little spats and arguments over school which gets to Dustin because he’s the only one making money for them to make it. He loves dogs a lot and feeds any animal that he sees around his neighborhood. When he gets married to Dirk, they adopt one dog but then he ends up bringing home random strays he finds and they end up with like. 5 dogs total and 1 cat. I also think he’s really good at drawing but it’s not something he takes seriously!!

General Opinion over said character: My number one day one premade I love him so much very normally like a normal person <3  I love his Maxis look he has that ugly boy swag and I think he deserves so many good things even though he’s a lame boy

[snufkinofficial]

i’m having a lot of thoughts about the lighthouse in our flag means death functioning as a symbol of masculinity and before any of you say anything yes i DO see the obvious connection here and i swear this isn’t just an elaborate dick joke. anyway.

stede is expected to be a lighthouse in his marriage. he’s expected to be strong, to be a guide, to be stable. and in fulfilling all those things he’s also, then, expected to be.. lonely. in trying to fill that role he is incredibly incredibly lonely. because like the thing about lighthouses is they’re so solitary. when you think of a lighthouse there’s an implication of sacrifice. isolating yourself for the sake of protecting everyone else. like if you look at this scene where they’re having a family portrait painted and stedes wife and kids are sitting in front wearing yellow and stede is standing behind them in dark blue.

or all the shots of them at the dinner table where mary and the kids are gathered at one side while stede is all the way on the other side of the table. stede is expected to fulfill this typical role of cishet masculinity by being a protector for his family, at the detriment of his own desires. and he fails to do so. he’s not able to fill this social role of cishet men and the guilt of that literally follows him for the whole show. the lighthouse painting is a constant reminder of his failure. stede’s softness and his vulnerability, and by extension, his gayness make him the target of cruelty from other men. multiple times in the show other men insult him by calling him a woman. as a kid he was mocked for crying, for picking flowers, for failing to perform heterosexual masculinity before he was even old enough to truly understand what that meant. the social norms of masculinity tell us men can’t be soft, they can’t be vulnerable, they can’t need protection from others. and they certainly cannot be in love with each other

like. david jenkins tweeted this picture of stede and ed right after the kiss, pressed together with ed’s hand cradling stedes face, with the caption “a lot of what we’re taught about being a man is wrong”.

and i feel like so much of the general discourse about manhood and toxic masculinity and how it affects men is like. it’s truly never anything meaningful it’s just used as a means of derailing conversations about misogyny. conversations about defining manhood are always led by cishet white men who generally speaking are just looking for an excuse to be dismissive to women. but the discussions of masculinity and manhood in our flag means death are centered around gay men and men of color and transmasculine people and how all their experiences fit in to manhood and deconstruct our idea of what manhood can be. and to go back to the lighthouse symbolism for a second. like…in episode 4 stede and ed say we need to become a lighthouse. not i, not you. we. this is the first relationship stede has had that hasn’t been defined by his loneliness. so much of the lgbt experience is being told repeatedly, whether by people in your life or by the media you consume, that you are destined for loneliness. your life and your identity are defined by your suffering. and our flag means death says the opposite. the first thing mary says about love is that it feels easy. and… it has never been easy for stede. it’s never felt easy to him because he was trying to make himself play this role and he couldn’t do it. but his relationship with ed just happens so naturally. loving him is the easiest thing in the world. it’s like breathing. in loving and being loved by a man stede finds salvation. he finds joy. and it is so incredibly healing to see that kind of message on television. our flag means death is about gay people carving out a space for themselves in a world that actively refuses them a space. it’s a celebration of tenderness and softness and vulnerability as intrinsic parts of manhood. this show means literally everything to me thank you david jenkins

[absintheancandle]

takes your gacha game sexymen and doesnt even realize theyre sexymen until its too late. like unironically i dont interact with fandom that much so i kinda just went 👀 and then i go on tumblr and go. ah. so they’re sexymen. that would make sense. not negatively tho. i still like em :)

yeah though heres some characterization ideas for my own personal use or somethin. au where i ignore how the games work and also they all survived and met up later for whatever reason. like a post-game au. or maybe no-game au? i havent thought aboutt it much yet.

these aren’t really supposed to be redesigns and moreso just. like. afterwards???? change up their looks a little to different amounts :)

more info under the cut + joseph’s design too that didnt really fit with the main post

okay sorry i don’t have much information that’s coherent but heres a lot of messy info dumping hehe i do personally think that aesol and andrew probably end up owning and working at a funeral home-type thing together. someone else has probably had this idea but i wouldn’t know. i think it’s cute either way.   aesol and edgars relationship is they’d fight each other in an alleyway at midnight and then go out and get 1900s mcdonalds afterwards.   luca actively collects people around him for fun i think. luca and edgar DO love each other but i honestly think edgar has difficulty properly attaching to people and having his feelings towards others actually consistent.   luca’s changed a lot mostly off of vibes. like i think he would’ve went yknow what this prison shirt actually kinda fucks. and just ends up looking like a guy that doesn’t 100% belong in his era but he literally has the same clothes that would be available at the time? not sure what to say there. ALSO i made his braces look a bit more like braces i think. looking at vintage leg braces is very fun :)!   andrew’s is mostly the same except more pink-based because it fits better i think?? instead of a purple flower he just gets to have flower patterning on his coat. also his coat is actually worn open now   aesol’s outfit is honestly inspired by his trickster costume only because like. jackets worn as capes FUCK like all hell dude come ON don’t even lie about that. also more flower patterning bc hehe yellow roses :) andrew and him are supposed to somewhat match edgar and victor have barely changed but i like the small changes i made :)   ALSO JOSEPH IS THERE . i didnt put him on the lineup bc the art style didn’t match 100% and made it look weird but here:  

giving joseph more updated clothing too? i might end up changing it more later on but. im obsessed with the idea of people from The Past getting accustomed to “modern day” (even if that modern day is. 1900). THINKS ABOUT HOW DELIGHTED HE’D BE TO SEE 1900S-MODERN CAMERA TECHNOLOGY. take your local 1830s weirdly tall debatably immortal man with no social skills clothes shopping! this will not go bad.

au where your guys weren’t in their proper dedicated games, all survived, and also decided to steal a hunter along the way. he is mildly disgruntled and upset about it but one (1) guy showed him a little bit of kindness (sat next to him and said nothing) and he went. i am following you now, actually. and aesols like. okay. sure i guess. everyone else is like WHY . WHERE DID YOU FIND HIM WAIT. WHY IS HE HERE   WH.    WHY

i don’t think it’d be like a “ohhh redemption he’s a soft guy now” because honestly like except for victor and somewhat luca, all these people are incredibly fucked up. why would He become more ~nice~ or whatever. theyre all just like “okay dont trap ME in a photograph and we’ll be fine.” and he’s like. fucking whatever. killjoy. what if you LIKED being in the photograph, huh? what then? bitch. except said in fancy 1830s words. mm also im making them all lgbt. bites you

(edit: apparently you cannot click to see a bigger version of this image. I DONT KNOW WHY?? i’ll probably post it individually later) victor: transmasc, gay, asexual (sex favourable) luca: polyam, omniro/sexual (masc-leaning) andrew: polyam, bi(?), aceflux, greyromantic. however i think these might change im not 100% sure on them mostly because like. he’s got issues that results in him just. Not Knowing Much. simply never thought about it aesol: polyam, nonbinary, transmasc, bi, asexual (sex neutral). edgar: transmasc, gay joseph is transmasc but i think it’s in a way where he simply never thought about it. like hes from the 1830s or something like. there was no Trans there was just simply going yknow what. actually. call me something else or i will Kill you because i have a sickass sword and am also part of nobility. like him and his twin are both trans and it was literally just like “you can’t do that, what about your image as nobility!” “okay but what about this sword i could stab you with.” also he’s definitely mlm but what kind? guess we’ll never know. that’s okay. he has a sword also giving andrew elhers danlos syndrome. he uses his shovel as a mobility aid sometimes without really realizing that’s what it is. he just leans on it a lot bc it makes him hurt less. they’re all mentally ill in different ways and some physically disabled and i love it!!

[ceilingfan5]

laughing, for @taznovembercelebration

Istus has noticed a lot about Kravitz’s new little friend, Taako. She’s noticed that they’ve bonded very quickly, and that Kravitz is coming home from first grade a lot happier than he did kindergarten. She’s noticed that they spend all their time together and can’t seem to get tired of one another. She’s noticed he’ll wear the same clothes several days in a row, and that he’ll never, ever refuse a snack, or a second snack, or a third. She’s noticed the big-eyed stare he gets on his face when she and Raven are sweet on him, how stunned and pleased he is when Kravitz grabs his little hand to run around and pretend that the carrots in the chicken and stars soup gave them magic wizard powers. 

They’re good for each other, she decides, and she and Raven have an understanding that Taako, as well as his twin, are always, always welcome, although they appreciate a heads-up when it’s going to happen. 

The funny thing about kids is they make you incredibly aware of the passage of time, and Raven and Istus had Kravitz late in their lives anyway, so every time Istus turns around, they seem to be getting bigger. Her darling baby gets taller and broader, though he always stays soft around the middle, precious thing, and she finds herself slipping a hand-me-down into Taako’s backpack here and there. It’s okay if he has to cuff the jeans–at least they aren’t falling apart at the seams. 

Those sweet boys grow together like fungi and algae, and they’re lichen each other a lot. Fewer kids come to Kravitz’s birthday party every year, until it’s just Taako, and that makes her chest ache, but she and Raven use it as a full excuse to spoil the boys, and Taako’s family never seem to care what they do, especially if Lup gets to join them, if she doesn’t have a birthday party to go to. One year they go to the big zoo in the next state over, and they spend over an hour in the aquarium section of the park. She watches Taako do cartwheels, watches the dolphins mirror him, watches Kravitz watching Taako with absolute delight. Raven tells her they don’t need to buy out the gift shop, but hell, what is money for if you can’t plaster the world’s biggest smile on a couple of bright-eyed kids very seriously drafting a custody arrangement for a life-sized stuffed dolphin? 

They even fall asleep on it on the long drive home. 

Halloween and Christmases and pizza nights and study sessions and sleepovers pass like blurry cows out the window of a moving vehicle, and they grow up, grow closer, grow to understand the world a little deeper. Taako figures it out first, of course, clever little beastie. Poor Kravitz has a long series of accidental girlfriends he didn’t know how to say no to. Poor Kravitz googles “how to break up with a girl” and asks about the Girlfriend Rules, serious as the grave. Poor Kravitz has to heal things with his best friend over and over, clueless as to why Taako’s so upset, and refuses to explain. 

“I just wish I was gay, so I could marry Taako and never have to deal with this again,” he grumbles, too big for a bedtime story but too soft and sweet to let go of the comforting routine. Raven has it written all over her face, but Istus manages to hold her off. Raven chews through parenting article after parenting article that night, and Istus looks over her reading glasses and laughs softly. 

“We should tell him,” she says. 

“He’ll figure it out,” Istus promises. 

And he does, although it gets harder and harder not to say anything without him bringing it up first. And by the time he does, Taako’s gotten himself a football boy from the other high school, and Kravitz bemoans the fact that he wouldn’t want to go to the stupid dance if Taako wasn’t going, and they always used to have a sleepover and laugh about the weirdos who liked that kind of thing, and what a horrible betrayal it was that Taako wouldn’t talk to him about this first, and why would he do such a thing?

And Istus just looks at him, and dawn breaks slow and steady and cold on his face, and he flops back on his bed and lets all the air out of his body in one long raspberry. 

“Permission to swear?” he says, which he hasn’t bothered to do since he was twelve. 

“Granted,” Istus says, of course. 

“Fuck,” he says, barely a breath, hardly audible, more than fair. 

“I think we can help you come up with a plan,” Istus says, and she and Raven and Kravitz pick him out a tasteful suit, gangly now, who knows how he’s suddenly taller than Raven, and they order flowers, and Kravitz drafts a letter he doesn’t show them. And the night of the dance, they drive him to the school, and soothe his nerves, and promise him it’ll be alright. And they do the hardest part, the most important part, the part of parenting that comes again and again and hurts every time: they let go. 

Istus waits for the text for a ride home, and it doesn’t come, and at eleven thirty pm, she hears the door open, and soon they’re laughing in his bedroom again, and she knows it’ll be okay. 

They’re good for each other. 

[twopoppies]

Can you believe it's that time of year already? Yep, it's time to make a collection of my most loved fics of 2021. In no particular order, except that I tried to group them together by length, here they are:

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface (M, 5K) where are all the gay bathhouse fics? This is the first one I’ve read in this fandom and I loved it. Set in the 90's, this author beautifully captured a sense of the times, the atmosphere, and the character’s connection and humanity in under 5K, and you really should read it.

My husband (29/M) died and has been possessed by a demon and now he’s cooking eggs in my kitchen as if nothing happened, what do I do? by adoreloux / @liamloveslarry (M, 4K) I’ve only recently found this author, but I love their fics. They’re definitely unique, just a bit quirky, and so well written. This one made me cry (I mean, Harry is dead. Sort of).

Jaerie's Kinktober: Self-cest by @jaerie (E, 2K) Oh, I loved this fic; there was a beautiful subtlety to it. The hints of how Harry would grow into his body and his gender, the hints towards monogamy, and the hint towards the pain involved with closeting was all wrapped up in the subtlety of how different Harry at 27 is from how he is at 19. It's only 2K, but it felt like so much more.

The Sleeping Giant by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup (T, 3K) This author writes the loveliest short stories… this one is filled with beautiful imagery and metaphor and just a hint of melancholy. I wish there were a dozen more chapters in this ‘verse, but it also was perfect just as it is.

Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover by @lovingstheantidote (E, 7K) This was sensual, erotic, and beautifully written. The author took a restaurant visit and a flirty first meeting, and turned it into something mouthwateringly sexy.

boy with kaleidoscope eyes by docklands (E, 8K) This was just lovely. There was so much tender sweetness in the way they treated each other and I loved that even though it was just in Louis’ POV, we still got a very clear picture of how Harry felt. Honestly Louis in this fic is just sweetest thing ever. Harry should marry that boy.

I Love My Hands Around Your Neck by @fournipplesau (E, 6K) Hello... this was really hot. I just loved the dynamic between the two of them—you really get a sense of the difference between them when they play and how they interact when they’re not. Also, just really hot. Did I say that already? Yeah.

and you still have time to be by loveroflou / @grimmpitch (M, 10K) Sometimes writers try too hard to be poetic, but sometimes their writing is just effortlessly beautiful. This is one of those kinds of fics. It's soft and intimate and full of so much perfectly-described moments of pain and tenderness.

Everything You Do by jishler / @snowjosh (E, 7K) This is my favorite of a 3-part collection (all of which are good), and wow. The author explores gender struggles in way that is incredibly tender and emotional, while still writing a super sexy fic. Loved this one.

Twist the Knife by jishler / @snowjosh (E, 6K) This fic packed such a punch in so few words (I’m beginning to realize that this author excels at that). It’s raw, sexy, and so emotional; I was left both totally fulfilled, and wanting more.

something wicked this way comes. by adoreloux / @liamloveslarry (E, 7K) weird, unique, and delightfully quirky. I’ve read a bunch from this author and they can all be described that way, all well as having sparse, crisp writing. This one has a Twin Peaks vibe, and a very concerned Louis trying his best to protect Harry.

Diamonds and Pearls by superglass (NR, 7K) Absolutely gorgeous writing. Tender, delicate, dreamy. Set in NY in the 1980s, so read the tags. I just really loved this one and look forward to reading more of this author’s writing.

Single Bells Ring by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (M, 17K) This was so much fun and the banter was absolutely brilliant. I loved their back and forth and how Harry kept Louis on the edge, never being 100% sure Harry was into him, until the very end.

Even On My Worst Days by @homosociallyyours (E, 22K) Soft, tender, warm and so well written. This author really captures the reality of chronic illness without ever making Harry seem helpless or a victim. Louis is just so loving and understanding in all of the best ways.

Deux Fantômes by ohpleaselarry (E, 16K) So, let me start by saying I cried through ¾ of this. I promise it’s a happy ending, but it’s heavy and very moving. Please read the tags as there are some triggering things, but it’s also so sweet and gentle and really well written.

Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche (T, 18K) This so tender and thoughtful and just... delicate. I wish I'd stopped to copy down some of the beautiful prose, but I didn't want to stop reading! The author smoothly wove in their backstories and I loved how viscerally they described the character’s physical reactions to each other. It’s just a beautiful piece of writing.

Literally Making Love by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies (E, 30K) This one is mine, so I can’t really review it, but it’s a story of a lonely man who ends up creating a companion who ultimately teaches him about love and humanity. I’ve been told is that it’s funny, sexy, touching, and not at all what people expected. I hope you’ll give it a try!

and i'm weeping warm honey and milk (that you stay surrounding me) by FangirlFlailings/ @wooltobravetheseasons​ (M, 78K) This fic digs deep into therapy and recovery from PTSD and anxiety. It included everything from great Ot5 friendship, great side Ziam, coming out, commitment phobic Harry, and of course, vulnerable Louis. I really enjoyed this one.

of the divine by @thedevilinmybrain (Mixed ratings, 2-part series, 104K) Oh my god. This series. I cried buckets. It’s so beautifully written. The sex scenes are so tender and sexy, but in such a pure way. Their relationship is so good… you can totally feel how much they love each other, the climactic scene OH MY GOD so intense. It’s also got great zouis friendship and a very sweet narry friendship. Tender punk Louis and guardian angel Harry. Read it.

But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (E, 107K) This author referred to this fic as their “depressed vampire” fic while they were writing, and it is that. But it’s also a unique story with beautifully fleshed out characters, plot twists, and super hot smut. Go check it out!

The Serpent and the Lion by louiseparker (E, 212K) Despite the fact that I have zero interest in Harry Potter, I was pulled into this immediately and read all 200+K in two days. The author does a wonderful job of creating a nuanced OT5 friendship, writes great dialogue, and draws a intricate picture of life at Hogwartz. Most of all, I loved the use of flashbacks to tell the story, the deeply layered characterization of Harry, and how wonderfully he and Louis fit together and brought out the best in each other. I’m so happy I found this one.