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#even if i wanted to wholeheartedly
lillyviarabbit · 1 year
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if only wishing could change things, but i'm too paralyzed to act
#I so desperately wish I didnt have to be trans#i love being queer and i dont mind knowing my fluidity and dysmorphia put me identify me as the former#but i wish i was cis and had to learn how to play with masculinity#instead of vice versa#i wish i had to bind#i wish i could enjoy my body#but alas—the good days just leave me neutral#and the bad days still leave me suicidal#fuck now that i'm thinking about it too much i might shave off my beard too#i havent felt like this since i pulled the trigger to shave my legs and have permanently scarred my thighs and stomach#because one missed hair means i need to rip it out#and that scabs#which then i need to burst open for weeks to months on end#and none of this would be as hard for me if i didnt have to learn it on my own#for now i cant transition#even if i wanted to wholeheartedly#because i can take off my glasses and pass decently well as a man#i did it for 20 years—even if by the time i was in middle school i understood i wasn't like the others#I hate that i make women uncomfortable just by my presence alone#because i look like a man#and would not be able to shake that without changing my jawline#im built like a barrel#i wish i was a cis woman that got a hysterectomy#and could indulge the comfort of being perceived as a woman innately#I could be more confident being affectionate#and i have to walk on eggshells even now because i can just *feel* how my male body taints every step i take and every relationship i have#i hate it so much#but i cant hate me#ive never hated me#and I accept this is how i am
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soaked-ghost · 4 months
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autistic characters being mostly identifiable by their inability to detect social ques and read sarcasm is very nice and relatable, but seeing how autism differs from person to person, I can tell u that it doesn't represent every autistic person and I think we should vary our representation more with how we portray autism
anyways. I think ink is actually good at reading social ques just that he ignores them because he thinks some social ques are stupid.
sometimes sarcasm does completely flow over his head but the way he responds makes it impossible to know if actually responding back with sarcasm or if he's responding genuinely because he didn't get it
while we're at it, ink being a dick sometimes unintentionally is also nice, like yeah it happens to autistic people to be mean without wanting to, but honestly I think he's more often a dick on purpose
he can travel through dimensions and he has seen the face of god do u think that he won't gain a bit of ego? that he wouldn't have a bit of an attitude? or that he won't intentionally fuck with others for laughs than run away before they catch him?
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robinmage · 6 months
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one thing i really appreciate about jinshi's character is how he has NEVER once actually had any intention of succeeding the throne. every time the idea is brought up he immediately detests it. so hes giving maomao as much as he possibly can, even though maomao has many qualms about it due to their difference in social status, but jinshi DOESNT CARE because hes NEVER cared about or wanted the status of crown prince! its been nothing but a burden to him! from his perspective the ONLY thing keeping the two of them apart are outside influences. he has no doubt within himself-- hes horribly down bad, in fact. but unfortunately his stupid JOB is getting in the way of him skipping off into the sunset with his favourite little cat
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fluffydice · 8 months
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Did a Kusuke analysis about his relationship with his brother, it’s not very friendly toward him so be warned about that,,,
TW for mentioned abuse, everything except the physical parts, funnily enough
Honestly, I really wished I actually liked Kusuke because he’s an intriguing character and represents a developed villain whose whole being isn’t just “he’s evil.” He’s other things, and among them is caring toward Kusuo, even if it’s really fucked up. But I just can’t comfortably read his scenes because of the things he does to his brother. Everything is so normalized, even by Kusuo himself. Kusuo’s reaction to his brother literally getting off to him is one that speaks to just how normal it is to him. And that’s not even speaking about how Kusuo sometimes almost regurgitates the things he grew up hearing about himself and takes them as truth.
I think Kuniharu fucked up both his kids (and Kurumi did too, inadvertently), but I really believe Kusuke was the one who made Kusuo believe his powers made him unlovable. Like:
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Come off of it, Jesus Christ.
And he fucking weaponized it is the worst part. He knows Kusuo won’t step out of line because he’s always holding the threat of exposure over his little brother’s head, and exposure = abandonment.
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The reason Kusuke would never go after Kusuo’s friends is because the threat of exposure still works in that case: none of them know about Kusuo’s powers, ergo Kusuke can still leverage it. And I think that’s why Toritsuka gets roped in during the Cat Tank arc. Threatening to tell Toritsuka about Kusuo’s powers doesn’t work in this case because he already knows. So he goes bigger. He tries to brainwash him into hating Kusuo.
I really think the Cat Tank was meant as a punishment for Kusuo trying to have friends. The reason Kusuke backed off was because Kusuo threw his chance at a normal life away once he saw the trouble ‘he’ brought to them. He hates feeling like a burden, hates being indebted to people. Once Kusuke realized his usual way of incentivizing Kusuo was done (and also that he technically ‘won’ by Kusuo taking out his limiter), he realized that was the end of it.
Of course, Kusuo offering to still be his playmate opened up a new world to Kusuke. Now, he wouldn’t have to force Kusuo into it (besides maybe the occasional bribe). It opens up new avenues for their relationship to actually improve, perhaps.
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meownotgood · 10 months
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i think aki would be super shy about just ogling you in the beginning of the relationship even if he does like just Fucking Stare all the time not on purpose. so you wear something low cut and revealing and you’re like aki listen. aki you can look i am wearing it for you. and he’s just looking at his shoes like. no i feel like i’m some hormonal teenager. or a pig. and then a few months in he’s used to you walking around his apartment without a shirt on
I love that we all just know aki is the staring type. he can't help it, he gets lost while he's looking at you so often, he'll stare and completely zone out until you're snapping in front of his face to get his attention and he's like, "oh... sorry."
sometimes he really wants to say something to you, like oh you look cute today, or oh would you like to go out for dinner with him? not the usual group thing, just the two of you? but he gets so tossed up with how he's going to say it that he ends up just staring at you, hoping you'll make conversation first.
even once you start dating, aki has that same sort of shyness, he tries to be more confident and occasionally he can be but for the most part he's still the same as you've always known him. he'll say your outfit tonight is really gorgeous while either A) looking away or B) intensely staring at your eyes so you know he isn't looking at the rest of you. he just looks in your eyes and doesn't look down for the whole night and you know he's trying to be a gentleman, but you'd like if he looked at you more, you want his attention (eventually aki loosens up, though).
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itseghost · 7 months
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silly but,, i saw a post going around with that passage and well. visiting halsin post epilogue, plenty of room for this joke to happen lmao you're always considered a young man when you're with full elves i guess!!!
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adobe-outdesign · 1 year
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Everyone: Pokemon is a family-friendly game for all ages!
Children, reading the Bulbapedia page on Pokemon IVs trying to figure out how they work:
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nartml · 2 months
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Saw a comment describe killugon as 'born to be brothers, forced to be best friends'.
And I just have to say that, out of all the things that have never happened, that has never happened the most.
#if y'all look at your siblings that are within your age group with THIS level of heart eyes know that im actually concerned#i say within your age group because i totally get being 'smitten' with your baby sibling#im six and a half years older than the little fucker contaminating my room and i too look at him with pure adoration sometimes#but that's beside the point#because even then trust that i do not refer to him as my light nor do i wear a lovesick expression every time he crosses my mind#most of the time actually he's an annoying bug i want to squash. like when he greets me with 'hello you stupid piece of trash'.#like boy don't you doubt my willingness to beat you up if you don't behave yourself istg#okay enough my little brother has taken over my sacred tags#anyway what im saying is that these bitches are head over heals in love. they have the fattest crushes on each other.#you know how i know? because i WATCHED THE SHOW#their relationship is so far from brotherly it's insane how you even came to this conclusion#real talk though#obviously yall can interpret aspects of a story like characters themes relationships etc differently and ofc your opinion is valid#blah blah blah#all that crap#but don't expect me to take anyone who says this with their whole chest too seriously#because if you look at kg aka two adolescents that invented the term puppy love but also im-wholeheartedly-devoted-to-you and see brotherly#then i can't help you atp bro you're on your own with this one 😭#killugon#killua zoldyck#gon freecss#hxh#hunter x hunter#my little brother#gotta add him he played a key role in these tags
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jamiethebee · 2 months
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Not to have brainrot on main, but you think if Spinner asked Shigaraki to stop the countrywide destruction he would've
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thousandth-island · 2 years
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laura yokozawa paella song (meant to be watched with sound on)
Peace and love ✌️💕
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longagoitwastuesday · 1 month
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Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an art‚ which I wholeheartedly support‚#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than others‚ and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to me‚ which yes that too given the topics‚#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
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petrichorium · 2 months
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Raise ur hand if u would be one of people sending me Strongly Worded Letters when u learn I got married to my pirate beau through the gossip column of a newspaper bc that list is getting terrifyingly long
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cherry-treelane · 25 days
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everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life
#this storyline was stupid you expect me to believe two-apples-tall liam gallagher came close to the crack AND managed to ingest it?#the crack which is lined up on the kitchen counter?#Also i don't believe that fiona would be irresponsible enough for liam to have been able to be close to the crack#that was an ooc moment and not like “its ooc cause thats the point shes going thru a tough time”#morelike “so ooc that it seems like a discrepancy that was overlooked for the sake of drama and shock value#as an older sister i feel like being watchful of your younger sibling if crack is in their general vicinity is an unstoppable instinct#its just not a plausible situation sorry like this is coming from someone who wholeheartedly embraces the realistic idea#of fiona falling short sometimes and being very human by struggling to consistently maintain her doting attentiveness#but anyways it's complicated cause Fiona clearly put it somewhere he cant reach#so how did he get access to it????#its like getting mad at a parent for putting a glass of wine on the counter#not comparing that to literal cocaine obviously this whole situation was nonetheless messed up#but just for some perspective... the writers were clearly doing cocaine themselves if they thought that#liam was bungee-jumping onto the counter and showing off his skills as an apparent budding olympics gymnast#not justifying anything but. listen.#the fact that it was on the counter FOR A REASONNN shows that fiona was careful to keep it out of reach and NOT do something insane like#putting it on the table#liam somehow magically having access to it defeats the purpose of it being on the counter.#if they really wanted for it to be believable that liam managed to snort it they should've put it on the table#but we already know that situation wouldn't be believable in its entirety cause we know that fiona would literally never leave it there#WHICH IS MY POINT. LIKE THIS SITUATION IS JUST ANNOYINGLY UNBELIEVABLE. FIONA WOULD NOT DO THIS AND HOW DID LIAM EVEN GET TO IT??#theres like 39482939 overlooked discrepancies just for the sake of getting to the shock#just to circle back Fiona would literally never let liam go near crack no matter how far gone and fucked up she was#I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM AN OLDER SISTER.#its just so UGHHHHH anyways obviously i still think in canon yeah Fiona was at fault shouldve been more careful and watchful#no matter how you look at it its clear that a risk like this just cannot be taken and she had to be blamed to an extent#but me personally? i reject it because it didnt feel natural to me at all there were 394939 other ways to frame a Fiona downfall#And i loved all the other ways her spiral was shown like getting messed up and ending up in Sheboygan#all the shit she got into with robbie + the impulsive urge to ruin the good thing she had going with mike#so human and believable and deeply flawed unlike the liam situation which was horrifically OOC and unrealistic
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yuseirra · 1 month
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I've been looking back at the comic because I NEED something from the source material to expand from when I make fanarts
and it occurred to me, yet again, Ai REALLY liked her boyfriend from the start, she was fond of him and it made her do things she usually wouldn't!!
She invited him over to her house just shortly after they met, I just let that slide because he went without putting too much thought into it, but if you think about it, Ai is someone who's really cautious about choosing who to enter her personal space and life. She's defensive. They could have met somewhere else for practice but she let him into her home no problem, she WANTED him to come!! She has no problems giving him her address later on too, She was always really open to him from the start and it's unusual of her. He gets special treatment.
And!!! She compared Hikaru to a jewel the moment she encountered him, and later named both their twins after a jewel. I have a feeling she did that because she thought of him. She really loved him dearly!! Her love towards him is DEEP. Not that it has to be further explained, her entire recording she left about him makes it really obvious, but THIS too, this!!
There was some sort of attraction she had towards him the moment they met.. it's shown really well, she casually tugs his face and and treats him very close, they hit it off. She didn't have any trouble getting closer to him. Gosh, she must have really found a liking for the guy. The more I think about her character, the way she acts towards him is very unique and an exception compared to how she usually is. That's also probably how he's helped her to improve her self-destructive tendencies, he helped her to open up more to others.
Which is another reason why I'm sort of serious about my theories of them having been gods in their past life, they could have been close from even then, hence were attracted towards each other like fate. It's almost like there is something that's brought them together, like some divine intervention. They were meant to be together, I think? That one panel that appears after when she asks him a favor and he accepts has a special effect of lights sparkling in a dark background. Those panels, I feel, can be important, I'd have to check the manga but that same panel appears again when Hikaru talks to Aqua and mentions he's glad he was able to talk to him. It can be there in multiple scenes of this comic... I have a feeling it could be there for a reason.
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hella1975 · 9 months
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you are so right about hawks and shigaraki... I think about those two constantly. I just want to know if anyone found it kinda weird that Hawks first debuted with seemingly no connections, hero school, or even name and somehow got into the top ten as a teenager and had the funds to open his own agency??? like did no one find that suspicious??
gripping you by the shoulders THANK YOU. like why was it CELEBRATED that an eighteen year old was in the top 10 and running his own agency and going out to risk his life day in day out as a hero. that's a teenager. how is that even legal. and even if it is, it should at least be frowned upon or warrant SOMEONE to side eye it a bit, and on top of the fact like you said he's got NO ACCESSIBLE HISTORY not even a NAME like i firmly believe he was just locked up in the HPSC until he debuted bc they didn't want anyone knowing about the whole. you know. child trafficking so like. WHY DID NO ONE QUESTION THIS. WHY IS NOT A SINGLE PERSON CONCERNED
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if i were a rich man is such a comment on society and religion and the status of academia
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