#for now i cant transition | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

electricpurrs · 2 months ago

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GUESS WHO MIGHT BE GETTING HRT VERY SOOOOOOOON BABYYYYYYYY

#🧃.txt #today was incredibly nerve wrecking but everything went so much better than i could have expected #for context today i had a doctor's appointment where my goal was to ask the doctor to send me to an endocrinologist #because for some reason i cant go to an endocrinologist directly i need a doctor's note to schedule an appointment #and i was so anxious but as soon as i told the doctor+nurses i was there for transition purposes they immediately asked how i prefer to be #called #and started referring to me with masculine pronouns. i dont come even close to passing but they instantly did it #and then i got the doctor's note. no questions were asked no justifications needed nothing #i just told them i wanted to transition and they gave me the note. it was so much simpler than i ever thought it could be #so now i have an endocrinologist appointment scheduled. its not over yet ill have to talk to them about it and idk how the process works #but hrt might literally be so close to the horizon. so so close. o cant believe ive had times were thought i never would have it #im just. lightheaded now

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liuisi · 2 months ago

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lowkey o-(-( right now

#its like im feeling the coming down from a group hangout but x10000 and also i want to cry #i dont know everything is so much forever #we have a worship night with the whole church that the music committee for youth group was only informed was going to happen on the 14th #like a week ago #and i spent so much time preparing the slides for the songs we were going to do #and all everyone has to say is that theyre too slow and too boring and not hype enough or whatever #and its like. you CHOSE these #i sent a SURVEY about what english-arabic songs we could do and wr agreed that fhe wjole youth would vote on it and would take the first 7 #and thats what we DID its been SETTLED and weve practiced them twice already!!!#and its all like oh julia you always choose boring songs AGAHAGAGSGDGS sorry you cant appreciate the beauty of a hymn . i GUESS #and i GET IT but also we are doing this for the WHOLE CHURCH #so we need songs EVERYONE knows and also songs that exist in both english qnd arabic!! and those are all the old common hymns!!!#like you cant come to me and seriously say oh i found a random youtube video of a lady translating holy forever into arabic #NOBODY KNOWS IT #im genuinely going to crash out #and i dont have TIME to be doing all this im working every day every week this summer #i barely have time for myself in the evenings #and suddenly its also my role to chose the order we're doing the songs in and also find verses for transitions between the songs #like this is a thing that needs PRACTICE at least a full month before !!!!#and everyone in the worship committee except for me and 2 others are in full exam time now #WE DONT HAVE TIME TO BE DOING ALL THIS #WHY did the youth group leaders just go okay we're doing a worship night. figure it out. NONE OF US ARE ABOVE 20 #and nobody is doing announcements none of the parents in the church know its happening #and also they wrre like literally ladt sunday oh it would be nice if there was food also #THAT TAKES TIME TO ORGANIZE?? also why are you asking US the worship comittee about it and not literally the food committee #AND THEN AGAIN. this is all the youth. and im the oldest person in the food committee everyone else is below 18 #we cant be doing this all on our own!!#please !!!#augh. okay. God will provide.#im so tired im so tired im so tired. but He Will !!!!

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the-art-of-sanshoku · 5 months ago

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Skill 2025: Homemade manju (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

(can't believe kuuga tells you ichijo eats manju in a cute manner and then never shows it smh)

#kamen rider kuuga #godai yusuke #ichijo kaoru #goichi #art #my post #wanted to draw this since i watched the ep but didnt until now and since its lining up with val day have some hcs #ichijo isn't a big fan of chocolate hes an old man at heart that loves manju senbei and traditional wagashi #he and godai both get a lot of chocolate on valentines day even though they try hard to decline it #in prior years tsubaki comes over to help ichijo get rid of the chocolate and he grumbles the whole time because he only gets pity giri cho #now he and godai donate it to minoris school or something #godai learns to make manju for ichijo :>#theyre filled with red bean paste which is his favorite #can you tell i didnt feel like coloring- coloring linework is harder than painting from scratch i cant explain the logic its just true #also fun party trick godai does is juggle food and then transition to throwing it into his mouth

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skunkes · 1 year ago

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is anybody sooo stressed out

#im running out of time but also ive Been running out of time. ive already reached failure levels for my age #talkys #and im only getting olderrr #can someone tell me how to get a 6 fig job real quick #so i can move out and transition #also go back in time so i couldve started soonwr #i cant believe it. ill be 30 when his term ends. i dont want to be 30 and pre t.#its jst gonna get harder and harder to Find Someone.#its so embarrassing to not have any experience at 30......#but like even if he loses its not like id have any chance anyway ykwim #if he lost id still be a loser who cant move out and go on T. just like i am now and have been for Ever. idk what to do #idek where to start.#and i lose drive to do so every day anyway bc whats the point of moving out if i cant go on t and find love

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demonicdeviation · 9 days ago

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I am trying to force myself away from trans discourse because Ive realized that its an ocd compulsion, the reason why Id been posting so much about it in the last month was a identity based moral ocd compulsion that since I have now recognized I am attempting to break out of

#fuck if i know what to tag this as #but it feels wrong just leaving it blank #so thats why ive been reblogging so much stuff about antitransmasculinity because it became a compulsion and i was seeking reassurance #even now im trying to undo the last month and a half of damage to my psyche and perception of myself #I am not evil I am not disgusting my transition will be a celebration not a solemn condemnation #the pain of my brothers does matter and anyone who says otherwise is disingenuous #I DO care about transfem issues and my brain latching onto an identity based compulsion around me being transmasc does not negate that #cant talk to my therapist about this cause uh. closeted. so im fighting this on my own

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dolichomorph · 15 days ago

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i need tooooo.... invest in myself, to move forward. like pursue more education or training or whatever, but man is that difficult to do when i have no faith in a future

#like aw man ive thought about library school a LOT thatd be good to do- oh trump killed the ALA. ok.#computer science and the arts are getting eaten up by ai #tryna get engaged soon and debating if i want to tell the government im in a queer relationship #wanting to transition but no way in FUCK im doing that now #so its like. what. like what now.#even when this is over (and i have doubts its gonna be over quickly) the ramifications are gonna stick around #cant just re-manifest the ALA. and god fucking knows im never gonna trust this country again.#so like. what do i do besides twiddle my thumbs at a job i desperately hate.#despite the tone this isnt a Breakdown this is just a particularly bitter musing

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cepheusgalaxy · 8 months ago

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That episode wouldve been perfect if the pacing was a liiiitle bit slower

#look i liked it i loved it i think there was a lot of dear work put in it it was genuinely a very cool episode and all #BUT i cant get it outta my head since j watched it that it was so QUICK #i know they had to fit it all in 20 minutes or so #but it was SO rushed to me #the first part was okay #and then we move to court and it was a biit fast and i have not processed what happening yet #we dwell a bit on the court thing so by now my emotions have properly landed #although i still wish it was a little longer #and then BAM blitz being executed that part is pretty cool #but the part where he sacrifices himself also let me wishing for a longer time #although i they probably did the best on that one #and then stolas arrives and starts singing out of the blue #which okay fair thats the point he jumps to singing #but i really wish they took a bit longer on A. him stopping the axe and B. he taking in all of the situation and trying to clear things up #and THEN starting his song #the song was *also* a bit quick to me and the transitions from one layer to the other felt a bit rushed #but who am i to tell the music professionals how to music #i mean i as the audience kind of can. but i feel like its not rlly that bad or anything its just that the WHOLE episode passed in a blink #didnt give time for my emotions to keep up with everything #helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #helluva boss s2 #helluva boss mastermind #mastermind #hb spoilers

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realbeefman · 2 years ago

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i'm a cis woman, but in the past few years i've developed a habit of headcanoning any male character i relate to as a trans women, beginning a fic trying to explore that, and then miserably falling short as i can never figure out how to end the story. i've recently joined a new fandom and started my most recent attempt at writing this ever-elusive character interpretation i've been trying to explain for years. and it occurs to me that maybe the reason i keep trying to interpret these characters i relate to as women and failing to, is because i'm trying to project the wrong experience. because i think that conclusion i can never fully bring myself to write isn't one about coming to terms with womanhood and embracing that identity, but about coming to terms with being a man.

so tldr im a trans man and this is a coming out post.

#shaking a little bit writing this but like. i dont know.#ive felt. alone a lot and ive been very scared of actually doing anything to make myself happy for a lot of my life #and ive felt a lot of shame about particularly. i dont know.#i feel a lot of shame in general #but about my gender. about feeling like i cant transition because i dont want to do it the way you see in media #and that its cool for other people to be gnc and trans and present however they want but #that itd be wrong for me. that id be faking #and i dont know i think im tired of running from it #im acting like this is some terrible truth. like this is an unspeakable evil i would inflict on the world by doing something that could mak #me happy. make me feel comfortable #i dont want that shame anymore #i never deserved it #anyways. i like the name angus. please call me angus from now on although autumn is actually still fine i do fw that name. always have #but i need to say this and put it out into the world and not take it back #this is my experience. this is my starting point. and fanfic and writing have been a big part of that #anyways. shoutout to #james wilson #most recent blorbo ive tried to trans the gender of. i think ill be able to finish this fic though lol.#trans #coming out #fandom #fanfic #personal #queer #lgbtqia

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skunkes · 9 months ago

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#on top of everything else i also now have to wonder if moving out is a good idea #because i do still feel like [_] is gonna win the election and if that happens i doubt informed consent hrt is going to be around #much longer. lol #and being able to access hrt is like 95% of why i want to move out. like why even try to live a life if i cant transition #talkys

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hockeyisforthegays · 7 months ago

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i like to think geto realized at some point that teenage gojo probably knows almost nothing about social issues, and so just started saying things like "oh actually satoru, gender is not real, did u know" and gojo goes ok then that makes sense

sdfksdfhksdffh suguru indoctrinating his friends into the trans agenda.... really really good... also given teen!nanami's admiration for geto i bet thats also a big contributor to his own gender awakening. importantly though nanami does still somehow think that suguru is cis

#he's just like that weirdly woke cis boy gave me the courage to transition. i cant tell anyone this because he's the world's most wanted cr #iminal now

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narmothewraith · 1 year ago

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How I imagine myself (aka want to be)

Vent in the tags (sorry in advance)

#Honestly almost cried while sketching this #I feel so stupid #Like why did I agree to wait until i'm 25 to transition #Oh wait I know #Because I love my parents to much and they only really support me if I a) am 25 or b) my mental health is really really bad #Also it's that part of my mind that's doubting everything. That it's just a phase. That i'm not actually transmasc #Also the psychologist I used to go to supported the idea to wait till 25 and was talking about some whos she knew #And how that girl wanted to be a boy but she got a boyfriend and she didn't want to anymore #Or that boy who wanted to be a girl but later found his identity and was secure in his agab #And she kept saying/asking; “Would you be able to accept to be just a manly woman??” And similar questions #And I know it's stupid but because of it I just keep questioning myself over and over #Because now i'm especially scared it's something I grow out off #But I just want to look in a mirror and be happy #And while I do like my clothing. I want other stuff but I feel goddam dysphoric in that #Only things I can change about me is piercings and my hair but even that is something my parents aren't really keen of #Atleast the length is something they are okay with but if it's kinda more a “”man's style“” and I hear only “oh my god it's so manly"#Honestly I just hate that i'm to scared to do anything about it #All the while I suffer #cause I just cant get out of the house without a binder. Always checking how my profile looks like. Crying when its not how I want it to be #Or almost crying when my mom says “that size is better for a girl like you because other wise it looks boyish” even when I confided in her #transmasc #transgender #trans artwork #Trans #Artists on tumbr #Lgbt #my art <3 #my own post

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dailycupofcreativitea · 10 months ago

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I GOT AN OTGW CARDIGAN!!!! OMG!!!

#cant take a pic right now cause im in transit #THANK YOU HOT TOPIC I LOVE YOU #this was the first purchase ever i didnt look at the price (alhumdulillah im grateful for the ability to do that once in a blue moon)#was it expensive? unfortunately yeah hella gouged price #for the quality #BUT BUT BUT #people buy nice jeans and concert tickets and other stuff all the time #i can impulse buy an OTGW sweater #IM SO FUCKING EXCITED TO WEAR IT AHHHHH #WEATHER PLS STAY COLD ALREADY STOP HEATING UP TO 23 IN THE AFTERNOON #musings #also if youre curious it was like (with tax and discount) $79...

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fantastic-mr-corvid · 5 months ago

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Now Tesoro is trans it complicates the hypothetical dynamics diagram* even more bc after she comes out her biggest haters [mainly Cherry] are like good for you! aw damn it now i kinda like you. But also Cherry is annoyed because she can never have her hair undyed bc otherwise the main difference between them is one tattoo, Tesoros freckles and Cherrys eyes being green.

*i forgive her for it bc its never fucking happening anyway

#Cherry & Dina before Tesoro came out: i can [mostly] forgive you for all of the crimes you do but i cant forgive you being a man #muro & co #oc: tesoro #oc: cherry #Wheres the post about modern sinefeid where one of them transitions and another gifts her her old dress that she didnt like and the other #woman gets loads of compliments on the dress and now the one who gave the dress is seething but cant say shit #peak Tesoro & Cherry dynamic post transition #also that meme about coming out and then coming back a year later looking exactly like who you came out to #They still bicker but a lot of the tension and barbs are removed. they are buddies. never let them hear u say that tho #also so many jokes about Muro & Tesoro balancing each other out

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foundfamily-connoisseur · 2 years ago

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And if I said Trans woman Butcher