#even if failed ones
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siebren + shipping / intimacy.
i talked a little bit about this in the wee hours of the morning, but i wanted to expand on this thought.
siebren is an incredibly broken man. his mind has more or less been shattered and fractured into a thousand pieces and not all of those pieces are present. sometimes siebren is alert and oriented, he is lucid and very much there in the moment. other times he's floating through the universe, completely unaware of what his body is doing or where he physically is. most often, it's somewhere in between.
in terms of shipping, all of this can lead to some difficulties. his partner needs to understand that he isn't always going to be there. he isn't always going to be oriented to the reality they share, he is not going to remember a lot of things. something may happen or be said while he's present, or it could be happening when he isn't, and his lucid self may not remember what happened or what was said in his disoriented state, and vice versa. siebren is a very difficult man to be with, because who wants to deal with all of that? but at the same time, he very much is a loving man and cares deeply, and deserves to be loved and cared deeply for.
when it comes to intimacy, therein lies another problem. my siebren isn't asexual and very much likes sex, but with his constant disorientation and being in his mind or elsewhere, or being present, it leads to some issues. his partner needs to understand that intimacy is always going to be something initiated by siebren when he's lucid and present and oriented to what's around him. if he drifts off during sex, loses his focus and floats off elsewhere, his partner must stop, because it wouldn't be fair to siebren to keep going when his mind isn't there. again, he likes sex and will initiate but becomes confused and disoriented with little to no warning. his partner must be good at discerning this.
i would absolutely love to be able to ship with him with this mutual understanding as muns, and if it doesn't work out ic then that's chill. i just really want to explore this side of him because it's so interesting to me how a relationship and intimate dynamic would work with these sorts of issues.
#siebren de kuiper.#tentatively tagging#usfw /#but it's not really#ask to tag#it's genuinely interesting to me how this could work though#i really want to explore it#so if anyone's down to make some shipping attempts#even if failed ones#please come @ me!!#just no weird age gaps thank you
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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Do you guys notice how when Shawn Fain, president of the United Auto Workers union, started planning a general strike, he did it by a) targeting his messaging towards unions with the ability to safely and effectively strike in large numbers, b) laid out a clear, actionable plan for those unions to follow (setting contracts to all expire at the same time, since many unions cannot strike while under contract), c) is using union contracts to set clear, actionable demands that can be met in order to gauge success and provide an end goal, and d) started organizing FOUR YEARS before the proposed strike date to give people the chance to plan accordingly, because it takes a really freaking long time to get tens of millions of people organized?
You notice how he didn't do it by slapping a message on Twitter saying 'hey nobody go to work on Monday, that'll really show 'em'?
#those 'monday is a general strike stay home if you can!!!' posts are SO performative and they really annoy me#like. you MUST know you can't organize a general strike of tens of millions of people by sharing an infographic on twitter. Right?#don't even get me started on the most recent one that was like 'we understand the last strike only gave one day of notice'#'so this time we're giving you two! strike is on tuesday everyone don't forget!'#like GENUINELY was that supposed to be a joke#the linked article also touches on how difficult actual organizing a workplace is which is nice#because they mention previous failed attempts in which organizers basically just handed out leaflets#and assumed the benefits would be obvious. which i think is basically the equivalent of posting an infographic on twitter#which is to say - not effective at all. Organizing is a LOT of work! Running an effective union even more so!#labor rights
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PALESTINIAN FAMILY FORCED TO RESTART FUNDRAISING - PLEASE DONATE!
PROGRESS: £520 / £35,000
a little while ago, I was contacted by Amal Abushaban, a Palestinian mother of 5, for help regarding her Gofundme campaign.
In summary, after spending months raising over $13,000 for her family, she attempted to withdraw the money. She did everything right, she answered Gofundme's questions, she provided the details of her beneficiary and she contacted their support team - only to be left in the dark until an email came one day, notifying her that her campaign had been closed and all donations were now in the process of being refunded.
I tried kicking up a major fuss about it online, as well as trying to pester Gofundme Support on my own account, but all it did was send me in circles as I desperately pleaded for the Gofundme Support person I was assigned to at least re-instate the damn fund. Even worse, Amal got her first email today about refunds going through.
Regrettably, Amal is being forced to start over completely in her fundraising efforts. Her beneficiary has started this Paypal fund for her. Please donate and share!
PROGRESS: £520 / £35,000
#with my whole chest. fuck gofundme#the way that their support page has a pre-made response encouraging people to donate to ukraine#while theyre actively sabotaging palestinian gofundmes and intentionally cancelling them or holding up funds for banal reasons#fuck you to fucking hell#the hypocrisy is astounding#or do a genocided people only deserve support when theyre white#the way that i know for a fact this has happened MULTIPLE TIMES BEFORE#fuck gofundme and their zionist bullshit asses#sucking up to genocidal entity of the US. fucking cowards.#the one place where palestinians might gain a semblance of hope for escape and even they fail them.#please donate to amal. i really can't imagine this kind of desperation#the worst part of it is that there isnt even a workable alternative#they know they hold all the power here and they use it to be unimaginably cruel#palestine#free palestine#free gaza#donations#free west bank#fundraiser
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i've noticed just how often achilles' dragging of hector's corpse is framed mostly as an act of extreme disrespect, or only some brutal show of triumph. personally i think that's underselling both achilles' intention and what the trojans must be thinking as they watch it happen.
hector's corpse is divinely protected so it can't be damaged by the greeks after death; all that effectively happens in the iliad is that his body gets dirty. but under normal circumstances (and i'm not gonna impose realism on mythology, but the iliad is famously detailed when it comes to bodily trauma), the physical reality of dragging a corpse along stony ground for miles would be severe disfigurement and dismemberment. first the skin would wear off, then soft tissues, then extremities would start to detach. i think the iliad's original audience would be aware of that as an intended outcome.
achilles (who doesn't yet know that hector's body has been granted divine stasis) doesn't just want to parade his enemy's corpse around, he wants to tear it apart ("i only wish that this fury inside my heart would drive me to carve you to pieces and eat your flesh raw..."), he wants it to not resemble a human anymore. he wants hector's blood and flesh to circle the city of troy. he wants to make it impossible for hector's family to gather the pieces of him to cremate and that way hector's spirit won't find passage into the underworld. that's what the gods are preventing from happening, they're not just keeping the corpse pretty for priam to pick up later.
#it's so rarely acknowledged academically and NEVER in adaptations (not even the '''''realistic'''' ones)#like you can see a billion artistic depictions of hector's corpse tied behind the chariot#but i think it's easy to forget what achilles is TRYING to do (and why failing to do so frustrates him so much)#AND why the sight of it would be especially horrific to hector's loved ones#anyway sorry for being gross and gruesome my excuse is that i'm an iliad nerd with a medical degree#i love hector he is precious to me i swear#the iliad#tagamemnon#gore cw#edited the opening to this post because my original wording was very glib about 'our' perception of violence
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something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.
#something about kristen's adhd making her fuck things up and being mad at herself and that manifesting#as her deity being overcome with rage#something about fear and anger and shame and the inability to do better even when you're trying so hard#and something about people loving you anyway#something about 'your anger isnt scary to me'#as someone who had undiagnosed pcos in early high school and got so fucking MAD#something about adhd and how you're always failing and you have no one to blame but yourself#and how heart breaking it is to watch your life fall apart around you KNOWING you could do something#but being unable to do it right. always forgetting always slipping up#and how mad that makes you. at yourself.#this fight is so much#fhjy#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high
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biver torment... dialogue directly from tha game. an excuse to draw these two pretty much
#my art#regretevator#regretevator folly#regretevator bive#regretevator fanart#ive spent so much time on this one... i even tried to make a background#i think i failed i think it sucks. but its there regardless#i like lots of the characters from this game but these two are so catastrophically my exact type of character. so theyre my favorites.#its been a little bit since i put so much effort into an image yippee
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Bonus 13: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#WWX's main weapon as the Yiling patriarch is considered to be 'Wen Ning' - which makes sense as far as the whole necromancer thing goes.#However...That *is* Wen Qing's beloved baby brother!#In her perspective WWX skipped town for a few days (or so) and took WN with him#only for them both to show up bloodied and in a state of disarray.#There's no way he told her he was going out to duel Jiang Cheng. For several reasons.#He doesn't want to involve her in his messes anymore than he already has.#It's less that she would try and stop him and more so that he honestly wouldn't even think to say something about it to her.#WQ and him aren't partners in this situation. He actually openly disregards her opinions several times.#Wei Wuxian's emotional distance from everyone around him is a big part of this arc.#Like all good tragedies...his biggest flaw is his hubris. He doesn't *need* anyone when he's so capable on his own.#He doesn't need to ask permission when obviously this is the only way forwards.#He has to do it all on his own! No one else needs to be involved!#And if you've been in the position of realizing you have a problem of toxic self-reliance - you know how harmful this mindset is.#It's why it's so satisfying to see WWX in his 'new' life start to let other's share his burdens.#I will die on the hill of 'love means carrying each other's weight. All a burden means is that I can give you support and you support me.'#YLLZ is less 'competent and sexy' and more 'depressed and can't see it'.#Another lovely nod to the main theme here is how he starts leaning more and more into the rumours about him.#Though we are also still confronted with how these rumours fail to actually live up to reality.#Rumour has it the Yiling Patriarch is undefeatable. What a shame if that rumour turned out to be untrue!
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hazbin meme dump for ur pleasure <3
i actually watched hazbin before helluva,, but you probably wouldn't know it with how helluva managed to rot my mind.
#charlie is my fav psych major ever dkdjdjd#she'll therapize anyone except herself even her dad#one sided radiostatic#also my beloved#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel memes#radiostatic#lucifer morningstar#charlie morningstar#hazbin angel dust#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin lucifer#hazbin emily#hazbin nifty#Lucifer my cringe fail king#vox and alastor#alastor the radio demon
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Minthara says “in Her name” when you first meet her and she’s following the Absolute but when you recruit her and she expresses that she no longer follows any god, but she still has an intact paladin oath, and she says “in your name” occasionally because she’s no longer Lolth’s paladin or the Absolute’s paladin, she’s your paladin
#😭#she might not think you’re a god or whatever but you’re the only one that ever came to save her#and if you let her read your mind you’re the only one she knows has no intention to hurt or use her#like I feel like what Minthara wants most of all is to not have to look over her shoulder or wait for the shoe to drop#like every relationship she’s had as a lolthsworn drow has come with the caveat that everyone will take her out if they have the chance#and if it benefits them even a little#lolth literally encourages this so long as you aren’t obvious about it#and lolth will 100% punish you the second she has an excuse to#and then the absolute like while she was being controlled probably felt more like genuine love than Minthara ever experienced#but it came with Orin and punishments for failing#and her being literallly mind controlled into her#so it’s still violent and threatening even if the extent of that is only realized after she’s pulled out of it#but then there’s you who pulled her out of that#who can clearly and plainly show her that you have no intention of hurting her even if it benefits you#and who went out of your way to rescue her when no one else she was devoted to ever would#and you offered her the means to not only stay safe from the absolute but to get revenge on it#of course it’s ‘in your name’ now you’re the only person that gave Minthara a reason for her to follow you#that wasn’t threats of violence and suffering#you literally gave her the opposite#she’s YOUR paladin it doesn’t matter if aren’t a god#you could be tho#Minthara#minthara baenre#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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Inspired by this post because I have some thoughts about this one au.
So, Damian stuffs his shadow twin into the body of an unfinished clone, and somehow it just got worse really. Danny mostly just stuck to him whenever he was a shadow, and hide from basically everyone else.
But now that he has a body?
Sheer and utter chaos.
First of all, was the Batfamily's reaction to Danny. He explained who exactly Danny was, and it pained Bruce to only know now that he had another son that was killed because he was born with a birth defect.
Meanwhile Danny, feral child who may or may not have shadow powers with the maturity of a ten-year-old and the emotional maturity to match. Does not give a single care of what Bruce or anyone that isn't Damian feels.
Damian, meanwhile, is trying to stop him from putting a rat in his mouth because, as much as he loves his brother, he does dislike his specific trait to put basically anything in his mouth.
As a shadow creature? That would be fine.
As a human? No. He does not want his brother to get a disease.
So he is currently trying to wrangle his brother and trying to get him to spit out the rat, and he succeeds, and the rat runs off. Only for a spike of shadow to spear the rat right one through, leaving Damian stunned, and in that time frame the spike whipped back, the rat went in his brother's mouth, and he swallowed.
He looked down at Danny, only to find a tail of shadows peeking out from his back, horns and clawed hands and feet covered in shadows.
And him chewing on the rat.
Damian, did the only thing he could even think to do at that moment.
He smacked his brother's head and chided him for eating something who could have been who knows where.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dcxdp#dc x dp crossover#Danny holds some power over shadow's because he's a shadow child#Tail horns and clawed limbs#Maybe he should even have pawbs too-?#Who knows#Certainly not me#Will Bruce think about how he failed another of his children#A biological one at that?#Probably#Who knows it's Bruce Wayne ie Batman so
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Killer likes when he's mad
full page too
#they just came back from an almost failed mission and Cross is high strung#Killer obviously felt the need to push him even further#my art#undertale au#sans au#utmv#killer sans#killer!sans#killersans#cross sans#cross!sans#xtale cross#it's similar to my last one but I had fun with it
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I guess I'll grow used to the new me, horns and all. The people will see a curiosity, maybe even a beast hungry for their souls. But I will slay their monsters, keep them safe, and one day they will see The Blade of Frontier again!
#bg3edit#gamingedit#bg3#baldur's gate 3#wylledit#wyll ravengard#karlach cliffgate#userewbie#edits#i was missing his sweet little face#his fear of being shunned once again by the ones he wants to protect! what do you know of his strife!#and him and k never fails to make me cry ugh#can't wait for my origin run and their romance even if i love them as friends so much too#recording this in the swamp was a fcking mistake coloring wise but here we are#a lil pick me up during these honestly truly harrowing times
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More Jason and Cass thoughts (sorry but also not sorry) but if I was magically given full control over DC and could write what I'd want obviously I'd make Cass Batman but I've been thinking of what sort of reaction and role Jason would have in response. I think I'd write his version of "Congrats on the new job!" as a test, involving the Joker and civilians and gangs and Red Hood and a ton of explosives. Bruce failed me, and now he's given up. You're his successor, let's see how you handle this dilemma that freaked him out so badly he threw a batarang into my throat rather than let me avenge my own death in front of him.
So obviously Cass will overcome the traps and the puzzles. That's the fun part to show how competent both of them are and sprinkle in little character moments as we go. But then we reach the emotional crux of the matter, probably laid out as some sort of saw trap because it's Jason. Here I am, a victim of murder. You say nobody dies tonight but I did, and I want the man who did it dead. Not only did Batman fail to avenge me but he failed to stop the Joker from going on to create even more victims. What right do you have to stop me from getting justice for myself? What right does this man have to life after what he's taken from me and from countless others? I'm not trying to kill a random stranger, I'm specifically demanding justice for my own death that I never got while I was gone.
There are two ways this could go. The straightforward route if I knew my time on this run was limited would probably be a pyrrhic victory like the ones Cass's og series was so fond of. Just like Bruce in utrh, she acts on instinct and saves the Joker (and Jason this time) . A win technically, but she fails the test. Jason is once again vindicated but with nothing to show for it. The story ends with Cass sending the Joker back to jail and going back to the batcave, where the old Robin costume looms judgementally, highlighting her failure. It would be the most fitting end given their character molds, all tragedy and conviction and unstoppable force meets immovable object etc.
However... I think the option I prefer would be a little different. Cass levelling with Jason, a killer talking to a murder victim. She has no right to stop Jason from getting justice, she has no love for the Joker but she knows any death she allows to happen like this would devastate her, just like that death row inmate long ago she tried to break out but ended up letting go once the family of the victim talked to her and demanded justice. I think... In this specific situation, she'd just be honest. Morally she has no right sure. Personally she just really really doesn't want anyone to die. Give her one chance, please. Let her try it her way. Not demanding, not lecturing or insisting, just... Please. Don't do this. Let me try another way.
And then what? Jason asks.
In the end a deal is struck. Cass will take the Joker and lock him up, ensuring he never harms anyone again while also trying to rehabilitate him. But the second she fails and he gets free, Jason kills him and she won't stand in his way. It's the kind of deal that leaves both of them mildly disgusted and dissatisfied with themselves, neither of them naturally creatures of compromise when it comes to this specific topic. But Cass is willing to do anything to avoid death and Jason did not expect the new Bat to be so... Flexible? Kind of? Of course maybe she won't actually hold up her end of the deal and when the Joker gets loose she'll try and stop Jason from killing him and he'll get his miserable vindication, but right now this is something strange and new and he's mildly confused and curious about where it will go. He doesn't believe in her ability to contain the Joker forever but he's willing to let her try because her reaction to that future failure interests him. She's given him a sword of damocles to hang above her head and he didn't ask for it or expect it. It's the type of power he never thought the Bat would just... Hand to him.
The conflict ends with neither of them fully winning or losing. They both don't really know what to feel about this.
The thing is, the second Cass let's Jason kill the Joker she's hanging up the mantle. She's staking the Bat on this, because it's always go big or go home with her when it comes to saving others, even someone like the Joker. In this magical universe where I have unlimited power, Cass would lock the Joker in a secret bunker and have Leslie Thompkins talk to him daily, mostly because I think her pacifism speeches and debates in the comics would make a fun contrast to the Joker's evil sadism. (But what about his rights? Doesn't he deserve a trial and to be held in a regular prison? I'm going to be honest I think Cass would be very comfortable bending the rules on this specific situation. Morally questionable but I'd have fun with it. She's going to let Leslie treat Joker like her personal pet project to save his soul because yes she wants him to change but also she's got a city to save every night so go crazy Leslie, have fun.)
And the Batman series would continue with Cass as the lead, new challenges and new antagonists and every twenty issues or so for the first hundred we'll cut back to the Joker briefly if his chats with Leslie can help highlight some thematic element of the current arc. But bit by bit he'd slowly fade away onto oblivion, maybe getting referenced every hundred issues or so until eventually no one remembers or cares about him because there's so much else going on. Meanwhile Jason's got a good thing going as Red Hood, primarily based in Park Row and a tentative ally on the occasion when their vigilante work aligns. Unlike Joker he's a much more frequent character in the comics, and after say 10 years (this is my magical fantasy universe Cass's batman run is going to last for a very long time alright) when people think of DC characters they think of Red Hood long before they think of the Joker.
Is any of this realistic? Right now of course not. It's why I'd go with the pyrrhic victory if I actually got the chance, because it would be the best way to tell the story in the larger context of the Bat narrative. But it's my fantasy DC editor and writer daydream and I'm going to dream big. They're never going to be normal happy siblings, their personal demons will never fully let them be free and the looming possibility of losing everything they currently have narrative wise if Bruce comes back as Batman will always be there. But it's maybe the closest to peace they'll ever get. Unsatisfying and tame compromise that probably violates several laws and ethical codes but whatever. Cass has never read the Geneva convention and Jason's not going to shed tears over the Joker. Let him die relevancy wise if not physically.
#dc#cassandra cain#batfam#dc rambles#Jason Todd#In terms of the larger meta narrative ultimately whether the Joker dies or gets locked up is irrelevant#But Cass will never be willing to just let someone die without trying to the very end to make her case for their life#And I think it's entirely possible Jason would reject her proposal and we're back to square one#But I think the two main reasons to me that he'd accept is one. Cass betting her career on this. She doesn't need to do that.#She could save the Joker and fail Jason's personal test and that would be that. Her actually reaching out#Being willing to risk something precious just to try and compromise with Jason. It would be more than he expected#From a family that he understandably believes he does not matter enough to#And secondly is the long term consequence of the Joker fading into irrelevancy while Jason maintains his prominence as a character#A reverse of his death where he was turned into nothing but a footnote and a memorial for Batman angst#While the Joker went on to gain even more narrative power as Batman's Greatest Enemy#Now he is nothing. And Jason is alive and a solid part of the mythos#It would take time obviously but ultimately from a Doylist sense to me it's the most satisfying resolution#Maybe after like 10 years Cass can die again briefly the Joker gets out and Jason gets to kill him to give Maps some fun Robin angst#But ultimately it's very important to me that if Cass becomes batman the Joker must become irrelevant#He's just not useful enough thematically to be worth his current narrative weight when she's running the show
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every december I abruptly remember the same fic concept I've had for literal years where Johnny 13 hosts an absolute garbage Christmas Truce party. Like just the worst party ever. It was supposed to be a potluck but there's no food aside from chip dip Danny brought and ghost weed. Everyone is bored out of their minds.
Except Danny saw on the invitation (which was written on a crumpled receipt from Johnny's pocket, purely because Kitty insisted on at least that, and thrown at him mid fight) that he can 'invite whoever'.
So he'd invited Clockwork.
And as soon as Clockwork arrives everyone loses their minds because uhhhh?? hey THE LITERAL GOD OF TIME is here???
#Danny Phantom#and every year I don't write it in time for christmas lmao#anyway shout out to Johnny's absolute dogshit truce party that gets crashed by god#kitty wanted to see him fail and instead she meets god#and she doesn't even get any ghost weed before it...#clockwork of course knew this was going to be a disaster#but Danny invited him!#how could he say no?#also the observants show up at one point#and bc it's the truce cw convinces them to stay!#so god and government show up to Johnny's truce party#with nothing but chip dip and ghost weed#from invitations written on random garbage#and johnny wonders if he can die twice#currently talking
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exam 5 for me... tomorrow!
honestly have been feeling really nervous for this exam since my classmates have either failed it or just barely passed. and i had less time to study this time around because i rushed to book the exam.
so i drew this little encouragement early cuz i need the reminder that no matter what happens tomorrow, i did what i could and i didn't compromise on my boundaries—and that is its own victory.
and i hope that you'll be reminded to celebrate your own big and small victories too!
"You are nervous and that's okay! You did your best! You set boundaries! You took breaks! We're so proud of you, Starlight! Whatever happens, we'll always be here, cheering you on!"
#fnaf sun#fnaf eclipse#fnaf moon#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#bright colours#traditional art#self-insert#my OC Esther#on a funnier note (gonna ramble)#i realized today that i could technically bring a sprite to drink in my exam#we're only allowed water in a clear drink container without any labels#so like... sprite is clear enough to work right?#and if they ask about the bubbles i'll just say it's sparking water#(i hate sparkling water but they don't need to know that)#but yeah might do that cuz i think the sugars will do me some good#3 hour exams are inhumane#anyways going to sleep now because i need sleep more than sugar#the worst thing that could happen is i fail and i have to pay another $115 to retake the exam and i receive the disappointment of my mom#i could buy a sun and moon plushie with that money#maybe even an eclipse plushie too#so the stakes are pretty high i think#if i pass i'll buy those plushies hehe#maybe just one for now because i still have more payments to make for my program#okay okay no more rambling going to sleep now
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