#even he was like “okay this was intentional”

[fangel]

ohmygosh… you’ve done it (∩´﹏`∩)♡ my rambles ･⁀➴

i’d like to start with WHATTHEFUCKKK the concept alone is so good, so unique — I LIVE AND LOVE to find dark fics that are actually different from the ‘oh he’s a serial killer blah blah omg the nth scream slasher inspo blah blah’ NO GIVE ME PASSION, GIVE ME A MAN WHO IS TRULY LOST IN HIS WAYS W/ HIS MIND CRUMBLING IN ON ITSELF BC HES SO OBSESSED SO GONE !! GIVE ME REASON AS TO WHYYY HE IS A MESS !! you delivered that 🤍 !!

the way he has this dominance over her even without being there: picking out her clothes, specific preference to hair and makeup, surrounding her with his work--the dolls of her that can never quite be her no matter how hard he tries--aka the constant reminder of his afflicted obsession !!!! AHHH and she feels so has to maintain that perfection to keep his best interest to the point it's all she knows even tho disgusted !!!!

at first i was lowkey mad at him bc why are you spending all day trying to make a doll that looks like (me) her when the real thing is right at home !?!? but after reading i get it. he's just a sick fuck who is scared of the perfect love being gone one day. he's so desperate to hold onto the idea that he needs to preserve it, keep it forever. tbh.. #NeedThat level of obsession

okay ngl when she talks about the dolls and how they move and watch her etc i was like oh no she's gone schizo.. she's going crazy being cooped up at home with all those lookalike dolls -- BUT NO THEY'RE LIKE ACTUALLY MOVING ANDF SHIT?!?! wth and then i was like wait are they real people !? spirits !? THE HUMMING -- and then the missing girls that look like her on tv.. him being gone all the time.. okay i see you sunghoon. i know what you are

the dollhouse. just that. the dollhouse. how it depicts what's happening WOW ! such a cool twisted way to incorporate how she slowly puts things together. reminds me of until dawn with the dollhouse in the basement -- and more on the dolls, people or spirits whatever the hell, NO they are lil guardian angels trying to save her !! to warn her of what is really happening !!

the smut. HELLO???!/ the smut is a world in its own. absolutely insane but in a beautiful way. should i be scared? yeah, but i am Horny instead. break me apart !! mold me, shatter me, recreate me however you want just keeping fucking me with those glasses on dgasgfksgfa but fr... there's so much hidden tellings even in the smut. she's begging him to release that darkness he harbors onto her, telling him 'to do it' but doesn't realize the weight of her words and what's she's telling him to do. the way the darkness stirs in him, indirectly getting her permission to indulge on his twisted desires of having her as his REAL DOLL. crazy. all out of love they're both losing themselves yet getting what they want. (the audience stands and applauds)

"the experiment" and the dolls all being trial and error... fucking insane. i love everything about this so bad. his dedication.. his oath..

"Your husband liked to dissect things. He liked to break things apart and put them back together all shiny and new. -- You didn’t care, you just liked the feeling of his hands on you, even if its intention was to destroy."

⤷ LOVED THIS, i feel like this sets up the whole story right here.

It’s what he couldn’t help but do to you every night. It was the only time he liked you to be messy, when you were laying in a heap of doll parts beneath him. He tried to be gentle with his curiosity, he really did, but it was as if something overtook him. That dark look in his eyes got bolder until he couldn’t hold himself back—until he just had to tear you apart

⤷ the way that this is literal... at night in workshop with literal doll parts and in bed with her she's breaking apart under his hold. wow. also doll parts by hole mention !!

her in the beginning "These days, you just wanted to be." and then sunghoon in the end "It just is"

⤷ chefs kiss, perfect. idk what else needs to be said.

the concept reminds so much of an old rpg game called "mad father" i was OBSESSED with it when i was younger and you've allowed me to escape in a (loosely) similar world. ily for this

dear kipo, your attention to details and way of storytelling is so wonderous and amazing. you've captivated me in this horribly perfect lil world. such a fucked up, pretty story. you are so so talented!! i could dissect the whole story tbh but i need to stfu

one last thing hdfjakhfkas this is so long im sorry but PLEASE listen to this song. i've had the artist on repeat for like 2 weeks and this song reminds me of this story SOOSO MUCh pls tell me what you think >.<

anyways <3 i ate this tf up. ty for your service 🍽️ !!

THE DOLLMAKER ˒˒ 박성훈 ▸  𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗒𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲!

you were sunghoon’s muse, his flawless, perfect wife that he dresses in frilly dresses and makes sure you always looked like the idealized woman. that much was evident from all the dolls he made of you that sat proudly throughout your home. but, when sunghoon isn’t there, the dolls move and show you things that would otherwise be hidden in the shadows. one day, they show you something so frightening, something completely sinister that you force yourself to believe that it isn’t real. your beloved husband wouldn’t do something like that, would he? you weren’t so sure about your answer anymore.

pairing ⸝⸝ park sunghoon 𝑥 fem!reader 𓄵 𝓯eat. ꔛ 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘦!

genre ⋆ 📓 ⸝⸝ established relationship, angsty & mature themes, smut, some fluff, husband & dollmaker!sunghoon, gothic vibes, supernatural elements

warnings ⸝⸝ dark content, heavy dubcon, dollification, mentions of murder and kidnapping, really creepy dolls, sunghoon is actually insane lmao, heavy gaslighting, possessiveness, unprotected sex, soft dom!sunghoon, heavy body worship, slow sex to rough sex and back to soft sex (you’ll see), manhandling, handjob, cumshots, clit stimulation, fingering, brief somnophilia, slight dacryphilia, mentions of oral (f. rec), praise, petnames (my love, darling, doll), hair pulling (m. rec), cockwarming, a lot of skinship, teasing, brief nipple play, mentions of aftercare, they are very very codependent, traditional marriage aspects

𝓴ipo’s note ⸝⸝ went a bit insane writing this because why is the smut scene alone 5.4k words??? but it’s finally here!! my first post on my new blog (that’s not part of a series) and my first darker content fic!! this was really fun to write and opened a primal lust within me for sunghoon that made me crazier… hehe enjoy loves!!

͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏  ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏  ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏  ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏ ❨ 14.8k ❩    ╱    ❨ 𝓶. list ❩ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏  ︵͡   𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (´ε｀ʃƪ)♡

You always strived to be nothing short of perfect, and you were immensely proud at the fact that you have never strayed from the path of the idealized woman in the eyes of their beholder.

And you were perfect. The perfect person, the perfect woman, the perfect wife. It was what you were born and bred to be, and with a smile you lived your life knowing that not a single frizzy strand of hair was out of place nor was there a single wrinkle in your dress. You were pretty, pristine, perfect. You’d ask for nothing more.

But, as the days started to pass—and your husband was out later and later for work—you started to hate the idea of perfection. You clawed at it like a noose wrapped around your pretty throat. Gone were the days where you’d be set alight with how well you presented yourself—with how much your husband loved to stare at you. These days, you just wanted to be.

In the beginning, you loved to be under Sunghoon’s watchful eye. You loved how he’d dress you in perfectly fitting clothes suited to what he loved to see you in—frills and lace. Loved how he’d fluff your hair if it was too flat or if it wasn’t up to his standard, or smooth down the fabric of your dress. You loved when he treated you like his perfect little doll. It meant the world to you, especially when it came from such an expert dollmaker like your husband himself. In his eyes, it meant you were the best of the best, that no other doll that he has made could compare—his perfect creation.

Now, the more you think about it, the more your throat closes up. But, as much as you’re growing to hate the idea, you just can’t let go of the deeply rooted perfectionism you still strive for. It’s as if it’s embedded in your skin, as if it’s in the marrow of your bones and in the blood that pumps through your veins. You don’t know how to live a life that isn't perfect, and at this point, you’re too scared to find out what that life entails.

So you put on the dress Sunghoon lays out for you before work and you style your hair just the way he likes it—and you be perfect. Because that is all you know how to do.

You stare at yourself in the mirror in your bathroom, your brows knitted together. Confusion spread throughout your body as you tried to put a name to what you were feeling. Disgust, maybe? Hatred? You didn’t know. Sighing softly to yourself, you picked up your makeup brush and dusted more of the blush onto your cheeks.

Sunghoon had already left for work, so it didn’t even really matter what you looked like right now. You stepped out of the bathroom and into your bedroom. Dolls of various sizes greeted your sight. Some had intricate and realistic outfits, the same ones that you wore, and some of them were more plainly dressed. There were dolls everywhere in your home, even some perched on the open shelves of your kitchen. It was a little girl’s dream home. The most unsettling thing about all the dolls around you no matter where you turned was how much every single one of them resembled you in some way.

It was as if Sunghoon could never quite capture your likeness exactly. With some dolls, their eyes were too big, their lips were too small, or the arch of their brow wasn’t quite right. Sometimes he couldn’t accurately carve the curve of your nose. You knew it drove him mad, not being able to immortalize you in his craft.

“You’re too flawless,” Sunghoon had told you once. You were laying in bed together and the tips of his fingers trailed along your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He used to always give you goosebumps, the good ones. Now it feels more like a chill down your spine.

You stared up at him from your pillow and watched as his eyes devoured your frame. His fingers twitched, briefly stopping their descent back down your arm, and you could tell he had the urge to test his hand at making you again. “I don’t think I’m flawless,” you smile at him, “I’m just as flawed as everyone else—just as human.”

Sunghoon’s gaze flicked up to your face, specifically to your smile, like he was committing it all to memory. He moved the hand that was trialing your shoulder up to cup your cheek. His thumb gently caressed the soft skin before he grazed it along your lips. There was a certain glint in Sunghoon’s eyes that you knew all too well.

“You’re flawless to me,” he stated. His thumb brushed along your bottom lip and pulled it down a little. You watched as his pupils dilated and the mix of lust and fascination that swirled in them grew. Ever so slightly, his eyes widened, too. Sunghoon moved his thumb down to your chin before leaning down to press his lips to yours.

He captured them with a certain roughness—the type that always shocked you with how gentle it initially seemed. Sunghoon’s hand grabbed your chin harder, his fingers creating soft indents into your skin as he leaned your head back and further into the pillow.

You were so moldable for Sunghoon, a shiny lump of clay ready for his skilled hands to turn you into a masterpiece. He hummed into the kiss and his teeth delicately bit down into the flesh of your bottom lip, only enough to not leave a mark. You moaned into his mouth, your arms raising to wrap around his neck in an attempt to pull him closer. In response, Sunghoon pulled his lips away from yours. He pressed feather light kisses to your cheek and up to the shell of your ear. “You’re my muse,” he whispered, before his head dipped to the crook of your neck to leave kisses there too.

You suppose that being so perfect wasn’t so bad if it meant that Sunghoon couldn’t keep his hands off of you—if it meant that he couldn't keep his hands off of his tools to try and remake you over and over again. Perhaps you were viewing it all wrong. Maybe it wasn’t a noose around your throat, but a pretty handmade necklace crafted by his nimble fingers. If it meant that Sunghoon never leaves, then you could be as perfect as he wanted forever. If it meant that he looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he ever laid his eyes on, then you would be his doll for as long as you lived.

Maybe it wasn’t perfectionism at all, but an act of complete devotion—an act of love.

Sunghoon left open-mouthed kisses along your chest and moved further and further down until the lace of your lingerie blocked his lips from your skin. He pulled away from you fully and looked down at it like he was offended. You squirmed beneath him, your chest heaving as you tried to take in any air that you possibly could. “Please,” you inhaled, looking up at him desperately.

You weren’t quite sure what you were begging for exactly; maybe for his lips to be back on your skin, or maybe for him to quell the heat radiating from your body. “Please,” you said again, your voice coming out quieter and more forlorn.

Sunghoon ran his hands underneath the sheer fabric at your stomach and you gasped at his touch. “So soft,” he sighed contently, hands trailing further up until they physically couldn’t anymore and were blocked by the lace at your breasts. His calloused hands were a stark contrast to your velvety skin and the slight roughness made you shiver.

He pushed the sheer fabric up your stomach with the movement of his hands until the bottom half of your body was completely bare under him. Sunghoon must’ve decided that he couldn’t wait any longer, couldn’t bear to take the extra second to lift the lingerie over your head, because the harsh sound of fabric ripping filled your ears and the swift coldness of sudden exposure had you gasping again.

Sunghoon tossed the tattered fabric somewhere off to the side next to the two of you and in the corner of your eye you saw it fall to the floor below. His hands surged upwards, no longer bound by the restraints of your lingerie, and grabbed your breasts. Sunghoon’s thumbs rubbed against your hardened nipples and you arched your back off the mattress to give him more access. His hands dropped down to your thighs and he pushed them towards your stomach as he spread them further apart.

Sunghoon’s breath hitched when his eyes finally got a look at your glistening pussy, completely on display for him. His hand then moved from the back of your thigh and he dragged his fingers through your folds, collecting the slick on his fingertips. “Perfect,” Sunghoon breathed out.

Your husband liked to dissect things. He liked to break things apart and put them back together all shiny and new. It’s what he did to you every night—left you in a heap before cleaning you off and making you new again. You didn’t care, you just liked the feeling of his hands on you, even if its intention was to destroy. You knew that it was just a morbid curiosity. As long as he remained by your side, you were content in being a pile of doll parts for him to play with as he pleased.

In your bedroom, your eyes landed on a doll that wasn’t there when you had stepped into the bathroom. It sat in the center of your bed, dressed in the same lingerie that Sunghoon had ripped up. It didn’t look at you, but at the entrance of the room, with the hint of a smile that you knew was carved into the doll but couldn’t help but feel was mocking.

No matter how often it happened, you’ll never get used to the fact that the dolls moved around on their own. It only happened when you were home alone. The dolls never dared to move when their maker was home, but you still felt their eyes on you nonetheless. You had told Sunghoon about it—the two of you even waited around to see if one of them would move, but they never did. It was extremely frustrating.

You sighed at the doll and straightened your back. Leaving said doll where it was without a word, you left your room to put a start to your day.

What you weren't expecting was even more moved dolls in your kitchen. You stopped in your tracks as different, mini, and almost identical versions of you stared directly at you from the kitchen table in a circle. Usually it was only one doll that moved here and there, but this many moved dolls in the span of minutes was completely odd. Cautiously, you stalked towards them to see what they were surrounding.

It was the TV remote. You scoffed.

You grabbed the remote with a roll of your eyes. Aiming it towards the tiny box TV in the kitchen, you clicked it on and placed the remote back down onto the table next to the dolls. You let whatever channel it was left on play in the background as you started making breakfast for yourself.

“We’re here with the mother of one of those young girls today. Can you tell us a little about your daughter, ma’am?” you heard the news reporter ask. You took a pan out from under the lower cabinet and placed it onto the stove, ticking on the heat. You watched as a flame ignited, quick and large as lightning, before calming to something smaller.

A grief stricken voice filled your ears next between your soft humming. You didn’t realize that it was the tune Sunghoon always hummed when working from home—something he didn’t do as often anymore. “She was the most beautiful girl in the world—the most gentle and kind. She loved everyone and she loved love. My daughter was the single spark in this bleak night. Please, if you know where she is, please let a mother know.”

You moved about the kitchen, ignoring the way the dolls’ eyes seemed to follow your every move. Cracking the egg, you let it fall into the pan with a sizzle, fanning away the sudden smoke that rises. “The news station also has an anonymous tip hotline open for anyone who may know any information. The search for the six missing girls is still on. This Friday, the mayor will hold another search party and encourages everyone who can to join.”

Turning to throw away the shell of the egg, you caught a glimpse of the TV. “This has been—” You gasped, the shell falling to the tile below with a soft crack as your hand flew to cover your mouth. On the small screen were the pictures of the six missing girls—six missing girls who all looked eerily alike to one another, eerily alike to you. You rushed forward towards the screen, desperately needing to get a closer look at the girls’ image.

Fear and panic prickled at your skin and clawed its way up your throat. What if you were next? What if whoever was taking these girls had their eye on you to take next? You glanced around the kitchen, the dolls suddenly gone from the kitchen table and perched back in their rightful places on various shelves. What if one day you stepped out of your home to run an errand only to be met with a cloth to your nose and mouth?

You began to tremble as you focused your attention back onto the TV. Did the police have anything on who was taking the girls? Any physical descriptions or perhaps a drawing? You waited for the news to mention anything else, but they didn’t. 

Lightheaded, you felt yourself begin to spiral. Your hands grabbed tight to the kitchen counter as you tried to steady yourself and not let the fear cloud your mind. Maybe it was all a coincidence. Maybe you just happened to look like those girls but the perpetrator was after someone else. You inhaled sharply, trying to swallow down the fear and panic and let the oxygen get through instead.

The sudden loud ringing of the smoke alarm startled you and made you jump. The eggs. They were still on the stove! “Oh!” you breathed as you hurriedly moved to turn off the stove. You accidentally stepped on the egg shell in the process. “Oh no,” you said softly under your breath as you moved from the stove to the trash can. You scraped off the burnt eggs, your appetite suddenly gone. You sat the pan in the sink for you to wash later.

Bending down, you meticulously picked up the pieces of egg shells on the floor to throw away as well. When you turned from the trash, there was a singular doll back on the kitchen counter. You jumped again.

It pointed towards the hallway to get to your living room, unblinking. You stared at it for a moment—at yourself. Why were the dolls doing this? “Fine,” you say, smoothing out your dress, “I’ll play along.” You need a distraction from the missing girls anyhow.

You left the kitchen and made your way down the hallway that the doll pointed to. As you slowly made your way down it, you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary besides the way the various dolls’ eyes followed you. You make the bend to the end of the hallway and freeze.

At the end of the hallway was the displayed dollhouse that you didn’t touch. Sunghoon didn’t even let you clean it, opting to clean it himself. It meant a lot to him and he took great care for it to be in as pristine condition as possible. The dollhouse was a perfect replica of your home, down to the welcome sign you weaved on the front of the door. You’ve never even seen the inside of it… until now.

There was a crowd of dolls on the ground below it, more than you’ve ever seen moved before, pointing up at the scene portrayed in it. Swallowing thickly, you stepped further forward as a chill ran down your back.

In the dollhouse were only three dolls: one of you, one of Sunghoon, and one that you couldn’t even begin to understand what it could be. You took another cautious step forward, leaning in to get a better look and taking care to not step on any of the dolls. The scene depicted in the dollhouse was quite simple. You were upstairs in you and Sunghoon bedroom, asleep. Sunghoon was in some room you’ve never seen before, carving away at a doll that you could only assume was of you. Behind him was the other doll, covered in different, mismatched layers of fabric. It was so covered by copious amounts of fabric that it didn’t even seem to have the body of a doll anymore. It was almost grotesque looking, in a way.

Very quietly, almost indistinct, you heard the same melody Sunghoon hums when working. Your eyes widened in shock as you furiously tried to digest and decipher the scene. You shook your head a little. “I don’t understand,” you say, the confusion dripping from your voice. “What does this mean? What is that behind him?”

There was a creaking behind you and you swung around at the sound. More dolls were behind you, pointing. You weren’t sure if they were pointing at you or the dollhouse. Maybe it was both. You swung back around to the dollhouse when you heard something move.

Now Sunghoon was in front of the other fabric-covered doll. His doll was slightly bent at the torso and his head was tilted. The thin, wire-framed glasses he wears sat low on his nose bridge. You knew that look—that inspecting look. That morbid curiosity. It felt as if the dolls were screaming at you, “Do you understand now?” You still weren’t sure that you did. Too many puzzle pieces were missing from the board and it hindered you from seeing the whole picture. The sound of Sunghoon’s humming still filled your ears and you didn’t know what to do to stop it.

More creaking and you turned to look behind you. More dolls. They filled the entire hallway, their tiny fingers pointing at you, trying to force you to understand what they were trying to show you. Behind you, the dollhouse began to violently shake and you gasped as you looked at it. Sunghoon was now back in the bedroom with you. He stood over you, his hand hovering over your arm. You knew the action it was trying to convey—you could feel the tips of his fingers trailing up and down your actual arm now, making you shiver.

You stumbled backwards, even more confused and scared at the shaking dollhouse. The front of the dollhouse slammed shut, locking in the scene of you and Sunghoon inside, and stilled. Your chest rose and fell heavily and you clumsily stumbled your way out of the hallway and into the living room, avoiding any pointing doll that you could.

Later that day when Sunghoon came home from work, you didn’t mention the moving dolls or the dollhouse. It was as if nothing happened at all, every doll was where he placed them and the dollhouse was just as pristine as he left it. You especially didn’t dare mention the scenes depicted in the dollhouse. You feared your husband would think you were crazy.

You carried the plate of hot food to where Sunghoon sat at the kitchen table. “Eat up!” you smiled placing the plate in front of him before placing a chaste kiss to his cheek. You felt him smile before you pulled away. You were turning to make yourself a plate when Sunghoon grabbed your wrist to stop you. You jumped, a gasp slipping between your lips. Trying to cover it all up, you turned back to Sunghoon with a smile.

His own smile faltered and his thick brows drew together. “Thank you, darling…” he trailed, the words falling from his lips one by one. “What’s wrong? You’re never so jumpy.”

You’d been jumpy since he got home, still shaken from the morning’s encounter. It was so bad that you nearly burnt yourself on the stove while making dinner, suddenly startled by the sound of the front door opening and Sunghoon returning home from work. When he kissed you hello, his arms coming to wrap around you, you jumped then too. You tried to distract him with your smile, but you should’ve known that nothing gets past your husband.

“It’s nothing,” you say, smiling again and giving him a slight shake of your head. “I guess my body is just getting used to not being by itself now that you’re home.”

Sunghoon sighed and pulled you back towards him by your wrist. You let yourself be pulled into his lap. Sunghoon buried his head in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry,” he says, his words coming out muffled. “I know I've been working more and more lately and I haven’t had much time for you.”

You leaned into his touch, sighing contentedly. “Can’t you work from home?” you asked meekly, voice barely louder than a whisper, “Like you used to? You work so much and you’re always gone. I miss you when you’re not here, and in return I’m sad the whole day.”

Sunghoon’s black hair tickled you as he lifted his head to press his lips to your neck, right where the thumping of your heart could be felt. His eyes met yours and the gentle pout of your lips. “I don’t have all the tools here that I do at the shop,” Sunghoon responded. When you sighed again and looked away, he continued. “But, I might be able to work from here tomorrow… I already finished most of the workload. We can spend tomorrow together, what do you say to that?”

You glanced back at him, trying to not let the happiness you felt break through your sulky demeanor. Clearly, it didn’t work, because the smile returned back to Sunghoon’s face even larger this time. “I suppose that’s okay,” you grumbled, the smile tugging more at your lips by the second.

Sunghoon chuckled, “Yeah?” You nodded, giggling at the way he dragged his nose along your cheek and the coldness of his glasses. “I love that sound,” he says, holding you closer. “I want to hear it forever.” He pulled away from you just enough to get a good look at your flustered face. Sunghoon brought his lips to yours, capturing them in a sweet and slow kiss.

Giggling more into the kiss, you broke away from him with great effort. “Eat,” you say, standing to your feet. Sunghoon didn’t let you get far. “We have a big day tomorrow.”

“Your dinner smells amazing, my love, but I think I want something else on the menu,” Sunghoon replies. You swatted him with the kitchen towel hanging from the pocket of your apron, your mouth falling into an open-mouthed laugh. Sunghoon just laughed more. “Do what I said,” you scolded him.

Sunghoon pulled you down to chastely kiss your lips. “Yes, ma’am.”

That night as you were getting ready for bed, you gathered all the courage you had. As you moved about your bedroom, Sunghoon watched you from the bed, his eyes trailing your figure and never leaving it. He was lounged up against the bed frame, his head tilted and the wire frames of his glasses low on his nose bridge as he stared. You were in the middle of brushing your hair, trying your best not to get crushed underneath his heavy stare. You were as bare as you could be without taking your clothes off.

When you stood from your vanity, the flowy fabric of your short nightgown moving with you, you met his gaze. For a moment, neither of you spoke and you just stared at each other. “Those missing girls…” you started, finally finding your voice, “on the news… Isn’t it odd that they favor me?” Your voice shook slightly and you swallowed down the lump forming in your throat.

Sunghoon sat up straighter, his eyes still on you as his brows drew together. You looked away, shakily climbing into the bed next to him. “I-I mean… how they favor each other. And I favor them too, don’t you think?” you continue. You really hoped that you didn’t sound crazy. That your time alone in the house hasn’t started to drive you mad and see things that aren’t there—that aren’t true. Finally getting settled as the words poured from your mouth, you looked over to him. For a split second, his face was completely devoid of anything—no emotion, not even a quirk of his eyebrow, nothing. Then, in a blink of an eye, his face was how it was before you looked away from him. Maybe you were crazy after all.

“I’m scared, Sunghoon,” you said in the gentlest whisper, “What if I’m next?”

“Missing girls?” Sunghoon says, “I’ve heard about them. But, don’t worry—” he reached over to caress your cheek “—I won’t let anyone hurt you. You’re safe here, with me.” His hand on your cheek trailed down to the crook of your neck and then to your shoulder before he pulled you towards him. The two of you laid down onto the bed and Sunghoon enveloped you completely in his arms. You rested your head on his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “No one but me will ever touch you,” Sunghoon muttered against your hair.

His comforting words did nothing to dispose of the uneasy feeling you still harbored. The images of those missing girls were burned into your mind and every time you tried to close your eyes and sleep, you saw them staring back at you. While Sunghoon fell fast asleep, him still keeping you protectively in his arms, you lied awake.

Your mind shifted from the missing girls, to the moving dolls, and to the dollhouse. What did it all mean? What were they trying to tell you? You went over the scenes portrayed over and over and over again and still didn’t get it. The answer seemed so close, but so far away at the same time. What were you missing?

You thought about the scene of Sunghoon standing over you while you slept. Did he always do that, stare at you like that? How often did he do it? You wanted to ask him, but you didn’t want to risk him thinking there was something wrong with you—didn’t want to risk him thinking that you weren’t flawless like he believes. And the way he trailed his fingers over the soft skin of your arm… Perhaps it was just him checking on you. Maybe he left the room for some water and when he came back he was making sure you were okay. Yeah, that sounded logical.

Him touching you wasn’t something new—he always touched you at any chance that he could. Always admiring every curve and plane of you completely, it’s normal for him to do so. The tension in your shoulders finally dissipated and you relaxed, snuggling more into Sunghoon as you let your tired eyes flutter closed. You didn’t know what the dolls’ game was, but you didn’t like it. Sunghoon was just being a good husband, is all. It even showed subconsciously in the way his hold on you tightened as you leaned into him. He loves you. He’d never do anything that came remotely close to hurting you, ever. You were more sure about that than you were sure about anything in the entire world.

Slowly, you began to drift off—your body getting heavier and heavier in his arms—and you let sleep overtake you.

A couple hours later, you were suddenly awoken by the sound of something falling onto the hardwood floor. You jumped, eyes flying open. You were met with the cold bed, Sunghoon nowhere to be found in your bedroom. Sitting up, you looked around the room to see what fell.

You sighed as your gaze landed on the doll, it was laying on its side on the ground, staring at you. “Enough,” you said lowly, another sigh pulling from deep within you. “I don’t know what you all want from me.”

The moonlight peeked into your bedroom through the curtains and gave a little light to see with in the dark. You slipped from the bed, deciding to see where Sunghoon was. Smoothing down your bedridden hair and wrinkly nightgown, you opened the door to your bedroom and was immediately met with another mini doll version of you waiting by the top of the stairs. You couldn’t keep doing this.

You passed the shelves on the wall filled with dolls of you and other trinkets as you made your way towards the stairs. You didn’t even give the doll a second look as you made your descent down them.

Sunghoon wasn’t in the kitchen either, but there was another doll there, pointing down the hall again. You tilted your head up at it and followed its directions. He wasn’t in the lounge room or the dining room either. You turned the corner in the hallway and your eyes landed on the closed dollhouse. It was backlit by the hallway sconce, the light making the dollhouse look illuminated.

You dipped into the living room and Sunghoon wasn’t there either. None of the bathrooms were occupied as well. You were convinced that he just wasn’t in the house at all. You stood in front of the dollhouse, annoyance coming off you like steam. Your arms were folded across your chest and you glared at it. It was closed this time, and you were deciding on whether it was not to play into the dolls’ game and open it or just go back to sleep and question Sunghoon in the morning. Alas, you were too curious for your own good.

You slowly opened the front of the dollhouse, expecting to see some confusing scene waiting for you inside. Instead, there was only one doll inside—the grotesque looking one covered in different scraps of fabric. It was in the same exact place that it was in earlier, except this time there was no doll of Sunghoon inspecting it. It was alone.

Taking a closer look, you tried to figure out where this mystery room supposedly was in your home. In the dollhouse, it was located between the living room and the hallway bathroom. You looked at the hallway you were currently standing in with its own mini dollhouse inside. Your brows knitted together in even more confusion. According to the dollhouse, the room should be right where you were standing.

That couldn’t be right, unless the room was in front of you and behind the wall where the dollhouse was displayed. Closing the front of the dollhouse, you moved closer to the wall, inspecting it. There was no outline of a suspected door, no uneven floorboards that could suggest the entrance was underneath you. There was only the hallway, the small bookshelf filled with your cookbooks and Sunghoon’s doll making books, and the dollhouse. You placed your ear against the wall; maybe if there was a room behind it you could hear something.

After a few moments, you almost gave up, deciding not to play the game anymore and just go to bed. But, right when you were about to lift your ear from the wall, you heard something—humming.

It was the same tune you hummed earlier, the same tune Sunghoon hums when working. The same tune Sunghoon hummed when the dolls showed you him working in the dollhouse. This time, you knew it was real. You stumbled backwards from the wall, your elbow knocking the doll over that was suddenly perched there. You gasped before quickly covering your mouth.

Frozen in fear, you swear you heard the humming abruptly stop. You then heard slight creaking, like someone was walking towards you. Scurrying back around the curve of the hallway, you peaked around it to see if anything else would happen.

What if Sunghoon wasn’t even in there. What if it was some stranger living in your walls, and you were just assuming that it was him—that the dolls thought it was him. Or, maybe they were trying to warn you of the stranger in a way that they knew you would listen. What if Sunghoon wasn’t in the house at all right now? Your hand pressed harder into the wall and you began to shake.

More creaking broke through the air, and you watched as the small bookshelf slowly began to push off the wall like a make-shift door. You ducked further behind the wall, just enough to ensure you weren’t seen. You saw a shadow dancing across the floor as the bookshelf slowly closed again.

You were so scared they could hear how fast your heart was beating. So sure that they could feel how hard you trembled through the floor. Hear your heavy breathing like a hawk listening for its prey.

The shadow got larger and you saw a figure start to be illuminated by the light on the wall. A hand reached from the shadows and towards the doll of you that had fallen over—Sunghoon’s hand. He stepped into the light and you could finally see him clearly; saw the way the warm light bounced off his skin, the way the light reflected off his glasses, and how his dark hair fell into his eyes. You pressed your fist to your mouth to keep quiet.

Why did Sunghoon have a secret room in the house? Why did he never tell you about it?

He fixed the doll; shifting its dress so it laid properly and flattened its messed up hair. You saw the corners of his mouth raise as he placed the doll back on the shelf above the dollhouse. It’s big eyes bored into you.

Without a sound, you made your way back to your bedroom as quickly as you could. You closed your bedroom door silently and slipped back into bed, willing your body to stop shaking and your breath to even out. You closed your eyes.

You tried to remember what the inside of the secret room looked like from the dollhouse. From what you could remember, it looked to be some sort of workshop, similar to the one Sunghoon would have at the shop. If it was just a simple place for him to carve dolls, why hide it? It was possible he kept it hidden so you wouldn’t worry about how much he was working. Sunghoon knew how much you disliked him getting obsessed with his work, always carving and shaping dolls until the tips of his fingers were scarred. You relaxed again.

You’d be upset and worried, yes, but he didn’t have to hide it from you. You would understand his dedication to his craft.

A couple moments later, you heard the door knob twist. As you heard Sunghoon’s footsteps near you, you hoped you looked like you were still asleep. His presence covered you like a blanket. Just before you could feel the heat of his fingertips on your skin, you turned to look at him.

With false sleepiness in your voice, you ask, “Why are you out of bed?”

Sunghoon smiled down at you, lightly shaking his head. His hand caressed your shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, my love. I was just getting a jumpstart on work so we could have more time together. Go back to sleep.” His voice was soft and gentle, like he was trying to lull you back to sleep with his voice alone.

You sat up more. “Well, I’m not tired anymore,” you say, a smile pulling at your lips. Sunghoon’s hand at your shoulder raised to smooth your hair before coming to your chin to lift it up. He leaned forward and delicately pressed a kiss to your lips. “No?” he asked in that same soft and gentle voice.

Sunghoon was already climbing on the bed and on top of you before finishing his question. He placed more delicate kisses around the edges of your mouth, his hands dipping lower. You shook your head. His hands slowly lifted your nightgown up your stomach. “You’re sure you aren’t tired anymore?” Sunghoon asked, the corner of his mouth raising ever so slightly. He was lifting the nightgown over your head so you were in nothing but your panties underneath him.

Light giggles left your mouth as you shook your head again, “Yes.”

Sunghoon’s fingers hooked underneath the hem of your panties and he slowly pulled them down your thighs. His eyes were completely focused on the way each tug revealed more and more of your cunt and how it glistened with the strips of moonlight coming through the window. You heard him exhale softly, like he couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. “Fuck…” he muttered lowly, “I don’t think I’ll ever get use to seeing this, and it’s all for me to admire.”

He fully pulled your panties off and tossed them somewhere to the side of the bed. Sunghoon spread your legs open and pushed them up towards your chest so he got an even clearer view—just like he always did before taking you apart. He moved his hands so they splayed out on the back of your thighs right near your pussy he was still admiring. You squirmed a little, the air suddenly cold on your skin and from laying there completely open for him as you waited. “Entirely,” you said hushed, looking up at him. His glasses reflected the moonlight and covered the look in his eyes. “It will always be all for you—I’ll always be all, entirely yours.”

You gasped, body jolting when a thumb was pressed into your eager cunt. Sunghoon ran his thumb along your folds, collecting the gathering slick that was forming by the second. Bringing his other thumb to your cunt, he spread you apart even more, like he wanted to watch the arousal drip out of you himself. A soft whine left your lips. You were completely naked and under your husband’s watchful eye while Sunghoon was still completely dressed. He hasn’t even pulled his pajama pants down despite the way you saw him strain against the thin fabric.

“Is that so?” Sunghoon asked, his gaze finally flicking up to you. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards and you inhaled sharply when you finally saw that all too familiar dark look in his eyes. It reminded you of the way people dissected animals, excited to see its insides and how the body worked. Just beneath it you saw his intensely desperate, fiery hot need for you. The two expressions folded on top of each other over and over like an endless piece of paper, like he couldn’t decide what made him more excited. But, you knew which one would win tonight—which one always won.

You nodded slowly at his question. After all, no matter how bitter the idea of perfection tasted in your mouth, it was nothing compared to the sweetness of your husband’s love. It overshadowed everything, clouded your mind until you could think of nothing else. You lived for it, you’d do anything for it—to keep it. And Sunghoon, he loved you for it. So, the cycle continued until you forgot what the bitter aftertaste even belonged to.

Was it so wrong for you to love the suffocating attention he gave you once he wasn’t busy? Maybe. Maybe you should feel some shame for how obsessed you were with Sunghoon. But, at least you knew the feeling was mutual. If it weren’t, you wouldn’t be surrounded by a house full of dolls that looked nearly identical to you made all by his hands. Right? Doll making was a labor of love, and Sunghoon never shied away from showing you how much he loved you.

Sunghoon leaned over you. You felt his arms brush against your thighs as he pushed his soft pajama pants down. His face hovered over yours and you stared at him with big, doe eyes. His lips brushed against yours, pulling away slightly when you tried to chase them. Sunghoon tossed his pants and boxers to the side and you felt his cock slap against your thigh, sending a wave of arousal throughout your entire body. The entire time, Sunghoon’s eyes never left yours. “Like my own, personal little doll,” he continued, his voice low. “The real thing, not any of these flawed imitations. Complete perfection, and all under my hands to do with as I see fit.”

His lips captured yours in an unexpectedly rough, hungry kiss. He moved further over you until his body shadowed you. His hands were on either side of your head as he pinned you to the bed with his body, the kiss deepening and growing hungrier. Sunghoon pulled away from you, lips plumped and wet with saliva that still connected his lips to yours. He tenderly caressed your cheek and asked, “Do you know how much I love you?”

With his other hand, Sunghoon grabbed his cock so he could line himself up with your entrance. He quirked a thick eyebrow as he waited for your answer, eyes trailing the way your chest rose and fell heavily and your breasts pushed more against his own chest. “How much,” he continued, slowly slipping the tip of his cock inside you, “I’d do for you? How I’d do anything?” Your mouth fell open as your back arched slightly at the action. Sunghoon’s gaze returned to you, his hips halting once his thick tip was completely inside you. “Do you?” Sunghoon asked you once again, his heavy gaze weighing down on you.

Your husband liked to dissect things. He liked to break things apart and put them back together all shiny and new. It’s what he couldn’t help but do to you every night. It was the only time he liked you to be messy, when you were laying in a heap of doll parts beneath him. He tried to be gentle with his curiosity, he really did, but it was as if something overtook him. That dark look in his eyes got bolder until he couldn’t hold himself back—until he just had to tear you apart. You used to be scared every time it happened, still not learning to expect it. You should be ashamed that you did let it happen. But, as time went on, you began to like being taken apart; began liking how each time you’d blink away the fog, you were more perfect in his eyes.

Nodding, you inhaled deeply. “I do,” you say quietly, meeting his swirling dark stare. “And I love you just as much. I’d do just as much.”

“No,” Sunghoon spoke plainly. You drew your brows together, confused. “The way I love you, it’s… cavernous. Deep and dark—pitch-black. There is no end, no beginning, it just is.” His hand trailed down to your chin. “It consumes me, my love for you. I can’t control it… I can’t control the things I’d do to ensure you’ll always love me. And you will… won’t you? Always love me?” Sunghoon asked, his eyes boring into yours.

“Yes,” you say meekly. Despite the way Sunghoon’s body blocked the little light in the room, you could still see the way he fought the darkness inside of him. “I’ll forever love you. There’s nothing that would ever change that, Sunghoon. I promise.”

Sunghoon’s body relaxed over you, and his eyes briefly fluttered shut as he shakily breathed in to further calm himself. “Good…” he muttered, his voice barely loud enough for you to hear despite him being so close. “Because sometimes… The thought of you no longer loving me… i-it drives me completely insane.” His grip on your chin tightened and he bent down to sloppily kiss your lips. Sunghoon’s lips slowly worked against yours, like he was using you to calm himself even more. Like he was basking in your love for him like you did with his love for you.

He pulled away, just enough that with each word from his mouth, his lips brushed against yours. “It makes me want to rip you limb from limb. Polish all the parts so you can see it—see how much my love for you breaks me apart.” With a harsh thrust, Sunghoon pushed himself into you completely. You cried out, the sound being muffled by his lips so close to yours. Your nails dug into his shoulders at the action. Sunghoon pulled out of you until just the fat tip of his cock remained inside. With each word, he thrusted into you. “My sweet love, my perfect wife, my doll.”

Loud gasps rang from your mouth and Sunghoon took your hands from his shoulders and pinned them above your head with one of his own. His eyes never once left yours. He wanted to see how you cracked and shattered beneath him. He wanted to witness it. Sunghoon trailed his other hand down the side of your face, his thumb running over the soft skin of your cheek before it moved closer to your mouth. His eyes shined when he dipped his thumb into your mouth and you eagerly swirled your tongue around it, his own mouth opening. Sunghoon’s pace slowed as if he was remembering himself. The languid strokes drove you crazy and your hips lifted off the bed to gain more friction.

It was a constant back and forth of back to back harsh thrusts that felt like it was splitting you open to slow, sweet thrusts that had you begging for more. With your arms pinned about you, you couldn’t even really move besides the slight lift of your hips, and they could only lift so high with how close Sunghoon pressed himself into you. He had complete control over you; over how you moved, how deeply and at what pace you felt him, and over what sounds you made with his thumb in your mouth. Your eyes began to get glassy with how much you wanted him.

You guessed that you liked being used—liked being his toy, his plaything. You guessed that you liked feeling desired, feeling like his doll. You glanced around your bedroom, back arching and loud, unashamed moans falling from your lips at the way Sunghoon fucked you. It felt as if every single doll was looking at you, watching you. Watched you succumb to your husband and watched as the cracks in your porcelain body began to crumble. Watched how you loved every second of it. How wet it made you to the point that Sunghoon was slipping in and out of you with ease and how the vulgar gushing sounds bounced off the walls.

Sunghoon’s pace slowed and he watched how his cock slowly disappeared into you before he slowly pulled it back out and examined how it dripped with your arousal. A soft chuckle left his parted lips as he did it over and over. You clawed at his arm still holding yours above your head, a loud whine came from the bottom of your throat and your body shifted in any way that it could to feel him deeper, to have his cock drag against your walls faster.

He replaced his wet thumb with his mouth, completely silencing your moans and whines. Sunghoon’s mouth worked slowly against yours once again, soft groans vibrating against your lips as he kissed you.

“You feel so good,” Sunghoon whined, barely able to get his words out before his lips were back on yours. He let out another moan, his shallow strokes growing quicker. “Taking everything I give you so well, my love. It’s like your body was made for mine.” Sunghoon finally let go of your arms, giving your body some space as his lips traveled down to your chest. He left wet kisses all over it, teasingly kissing around your perked nipples while you dragged your hands through his hair and pulled at the tips of the strands. Everytime his lips touched your skin it felt like white-hot coals were being placed on you where they touched. Sunghoon looked up at you over the rim of his glasses, lips pressed to your skin with a hint of a smile. “Do you feel good, darling?”

Sunghoon’s hips picked up speed, just barely, but enough to make your head spin wildly. His pace was agonizing and you were sure your frustration showed in how you tugged harder at his hair and pulled his head back and the way your hips pathetically raised to meet his. Sunghoon’s mouth opened and he let out a laugh. “Please,” you begged him, your eyes filled with unfallen tears, “please.”

He sat up, lips brushing against your skin one last time before he pulled away. Sunghoon pushed down on your hips with his hands to stop them from moving, his own still continuing at that agonizing pace. “Please, what?” he asked, head tilted to the side as he watched you squirm beneath him and claw at the bedsheets. “What are you begging me to do to you?”

You whined when his hands moved up to your waist and sent tingles throughout your body. Through your blurry, tear-filled eyes you could see his smile. Pitiful moans escaped your mouth and your chest rose and fell so heavily you would’ve thought you weren’t breathing at all—instead trying to gasp in gulps of breath. “Please,” you begged again. Sunghoon inhaled sharply at the way you clenched down on him, at how your whiny moans filled his ears and the way the corners of your eyes flooded with tears. He halted his movements and pulled out of you completely.

“No, no, no!” you cried and leaned up to reach for him. He pushed you back down to the bed gently. Sunghoon’s own breathing picked up as his wet cock hovered over you. He took one of your hands in his and guided it towards it. “I’ll continue once you can tell me—” his breath hitched once your hand wrapped around his thick length “—what you want.” Sunghoon guided your hand up and down his cock slowly, his hand tightening on top of yours so you squeezed him more. His breath shuddered as he watched your hand work, his stomach tightening every time your hand squeezed his mushroom tip. He moaned again at how easily your hand slipped over him from your arousal, and his moans grew louder when he’d move his hips to force your hand back down his length again and again.

“Tell me…” he breathed out, his eyes fluttering closed, once you still didn’t give him an answer. Sunghoon’s hands laid flat against the back of your thighs—right next to where you needed him the most.

“I… I-I want you…” you stuttered out, voice small. Sunghoon hummed in question, bringing his thumb to your clit. He rubbed circles into it at the same speed he moved his hips. You gasped, back involuntarily arching off the bed. Your hand paused mid-stroke of his cock before his hips rutting against it stirred you back into action. “Closer…” Sunghoon says through a grunt, “but, I’m going to need more than that from you, my love. Don’t you want to be good for me and do what I asked?”

A soft whine left his lips when you squeezed a little too much at the base of his cock. “I want to hear those pretty moans of yours as I fuck you with my cock… see your pretty face as you cum around it. Won’t you give that to me? Do you really want to settle for my fingers tonight, darling?” Sunghoon continued.

How could you tell him what you really wanted? Explain the deepest desire that you had right now? He told you about his inner battle with how much his love for you consumes him. He told you the things that it made him want to do. You wanted him to let go and do it. You wanted him to wipe you clean so you watched it all—saw it all. Enough with holding back—like he tried to do every single night without fail. It was no use when you both knew what was coming. You wanted him to lose control. You wanted that swirling darkness in his eyes to take over. You wanted him to do what he said he wanted to do if you didn’t feel the same way he felt about you. How do you express that to him?

“Do it…” you say, your words coming out strained. A sweet moan left your mouth and you looked him dead in the eyes as the tears finally slid down your hot cheeks. “I w-want you… to do it.” Your voice was just above a whisper, loud enough that only his ears could hear your words despite being the only two people in the entire house. You squeezed down onto his thick cock more as your wrist worked harder. The hand he wasn’t using to rub circles into your puffy clit grabbed your thigh tighter, his fingers surely leaving indents into the plush skin. Sunghoon’s head hung lowly as he tore his gaze away from yours and went back to watching your hand.

Sunghoon plunged two fingers deep inside your dripping entrance and you felt like you could finally feel the oxygen reach your lungs. He pushed them in and out of you, his gaze flicking over to his movements instead of yours to relish in the way his fingers came back out more and more wet. As his fingers curled inside you, causing breathy moans to leave your willing lips, you watched the way his stomach tensed and his hips faltered. Without saying a word, you could tell what was running through his mind right now. You could see his eyes grow more and more darker, fill up more and more with desire. Sunghoon finally looked back up at you, his wire-framed glasses low on his nose bridge. “Do what?” he asks, his voice just as quiet as yours was.

You didn’t have to say anything else. Sunghoon’s hips froze and his stomach tightened even more as a pretty moan ripped straight through him. His eyes fluttered shut, his fingering waned and you lifted your hips to chase his hand. Sunghoon’s warm cum shot all over your stomach and splattered up to your breasts in thick spurts. He let out another moan, this one dragging out from deep within him as his body finally relaxed. You helped him through it all—hand never stopping as he rode out his high and marked more of your stomach with his cum until you were painted a creamy white and he was completely empty.

His eyes blinked open and he looked down at how messy you were. Something in his demeanor shifted as his eyes grazed over you and you couldn’t tell what had changed until he looked at you. You inhaled sharply at his stare, your breathing picking up. His own chest still heaved from his recent release. Sunghoon took his wet fingers out from your cunt, taking a moment to drag them through your folds to spread your arousal even more, all while his eyes never left yours. Gone were the barriers that held him back, that darkness took him over full force.

Meek whimpers escaped your lips and you dug your nails into the bedsheet beneath you. “You like being my doll, don’t you?” Sunghoon asks. His voice was almost flat, and he was still speaking in that hushed tone. His expression was decidedly blank except for the subtle way his brows drew together. “Don’t you?” he asked a little louder when you didn’t answer him. His hands squeezed the back of your thighs and his fingers dug into the soft skin there. You timidly nodded, not daring to look away.

His hands relaxed and his thumbs brushed over where his fingers dug into you comfortingly, his eyes finally leaving yours. Sunghoon grabbed his cock and rubbed his flushed tip in between your folds, the wet sounds it made piercing the silent bedroom. “You know,” he starts, his voice no longer so low, “you really are truly flawless, doll. My muse…”

Sunghoon is already slipping back inside you before you can process the way his thick cock completely stretches you open. You cry out as more unshed tears fall from your eyes. He continues, “It angers me how much I can’t capture you fully. How none of these dolls can compare to the real thing—the real you. It makes me… so angry…”

He’s pulling back his hips as he speaks, the tip of his cock just barely leaving your pussy, before he roughly thrusts his cock back inside of you. Another loud moan emits from you and your vision blurs from more tears as your face gets hot. You could barely hear Sunghoon’s wry laugh over the sudden ringing in your ears.

Sunghoon’s pace is brutal, and you’re suddenly regretting whining so much about how slow he was once going. It gave you whiplash, how fast he fucked into you, and the only thing you could do to keep yourself grounded is tightly wrap your hands around his wrists at your hips. Your arms smeared and got sticky with his cum but you didn’t care. With each thrust, your body shook and pushed you further into the mattress. With your iron-clad grip on Sunghoon’s wrists, your tits pushed together and bounced in accordance with his hips against yours. Sunghoon was fucking you like he wanted to break you in half.

“S-Slo—” you tried to speak but was cut off by the waves of sudden pleasure hitting you one after the other. Sunghoon just shushed you, his hands pulling your hips towards his so you’d feel him deeper. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you couldn’t think about anything other than the way he was making you feel so, so good. You wanted to feel this way forever. Wanted him to stay lost so you never escaped this feeling of immense pleasure. Wanted him to use you to take out his anger at himself—at you—like you meant absolutely nothing, just a doll for him to handle and put back in its place.

You adore it, the way he makes you feel.

Such nasty sounds fill the air, but neither of you could bring yourselves to care about it. If anything, it turned you on more just how loud and demanding to be heard it was. With how much the sounds of the sex the two of you were having penetrated your ears, you would’ve thought that you’d be getting multiple noise complaints at any moment. You both definitely weren’t trying to be quiet in the slightest.

Between your moans, you heard Sunghoon speak. “I want to take you apart, carve into you like I do my dolls, but this time make something real. Have you be so perfect forever.” His voice was almost scarily plain, like he thought this over time and time again before. You blinked away tears and finally got a clear view of him and the way he stared down at you with a hint of a smile, head tilted as he watched you crack and begin to fall into yourself. “Forever my perfect little doll, to bend—” he pushed your knees closer to your chest so you were practically folded in half “—and to break—” he roughly thrusted into you once more, his hint of a smile growing into a smirk as you clenched down on him “—and to put back together and play with as I please.”

“Sunghoon,” you sobbed as your stomach tightened and you started to shake. You didn’t get the chance to get another word out before you were violently orgasming, your cum pouring out of you and leaving a white ring around the base of Sunghoon’s cock as he roughly fucked it back into you. Wet, gushing sounds came from his cock plowing into your pussy and your cum poured out from around him and down the curve of your ass. You could scream at the sudden overstimulation.

“That’s my girl,” Sunghoon says as he watched you shatter. He used your hands still limply wrapped around his wrists to pull you up off the bed and halfway into his lap, his cock still buried within you. One of his hands supported your back and the other came to wipe the tears from your cheeks. “Pretty dolls don’t cry.”

Sunghoon brought your hands to his shoulders and you held tightly onto the soft fabric of his shirt. His own hands dragged down the expanse of your stomach and he wrapped one of his arms around your back. Sunghoon lowered his head so he could look you in your eyes, his free hand lifting your chin to raise your head more. “I love you,” he murmured, pausing a beat to make sure you heard him, before roughly moving his lips against yours and cutting off one of your watery whines.

Your hands moved from Sunghoon’s shoulders to wrap around his neck and pull him closer to you. You deepened the kiss, letting Sunghoon open your mouth so his tongue could slip in and dance with yours. You’d give anything to keep his lips on yours forever.

Sunghoon began to thrust into you again, his hips moving slow at first before they rapidly picked up pace. You moaned against his lips, your eyes squeezing shut. You felt Sunghoon’s lips pull into a smile, “I love you so much.” He said it like it was a confession.

Head falling into the crook of his neck, you cling to him tighter with your last remaining strength and whimper into his warm skin. Your body shook all over until it felt like you might explode. It felt like Sunghoon kept repeatedly turning and turning the winding key in your back, going way beyond the motor’s limitations. It made you nervous for when he would let go and you would burst into action.

His deep moans and grunts rang in your ear and his arm around your back tightened. With his other hand, he pulled you back so he could look at you. Your face was tear-streaked, splotchy with drying tears and you tried to not cry even more. Your brows were knitted together from the overstimulation and whimpers fell from your lips. Sunghoon’s cum stuck to your stomach and your forearms and parts of his shirt, your own cum covered your pussy and Sunghoon’s cock. You were a mess.

Over and over, three words came from Sunghoon’s lips like a mantra as he filled you up with his cum to the brim and past that too. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I—”

Finally, silence rang through the air besides both of your heavy breathing. After another moment, your body finally stilled. The silence was so thick that you felt like you couldn’t move at all. Delicately, like he held the shards of you in his hands, Sunghoon laid you back down onto the bed. He pressed feather-light kisses to your jaw and cheeks before they finally landed on your lips.

You were so overwhelmed with emotions and feelings that you couldn’t feel anything at all. Your head was still foggy and your only penetrating thoughts swirled around him. Despite your eyes being wide open, your vision was cloudy.

Sunghoon kissed you again. “Stay here,” he says, pushing away from you. Your arms fell to your sides limply. He leaned back and pulled his cock out of you, eyes shining with adoration at the way yours and his mixed cum spilled out and dirtied the bedsheets. Sunghoon rubbed the tip of his cock through it a couple times, ignoring how you squirmed and whined. “Absolute perfection,” he said under his breath before standing to his feet.

You laid there on the bed, still spread open and a mess of cum, as your eyes went in and out of focus. When the clouds in your vision did part, all you saw were all of the dolls and how they stared at you. Sunghoon came back a couple moments later, his face coming into focus as the moonlight bounced off his glasses. He climbed over you and began cleaning you up.

You were barely aware of the way he meticulously made sure every nook and cranny was polished nor how he moved you to put new bedsheets on the bed. Your mind didn’t start to come back to you until he was pulling you over him and sitting you onto his cock. You came alive at his hands trailing the expanse of your body before landing on your hips. You moaned quietly, your gaze dripping to look down at him. The darkness in his eyes was not quite all the way gone.

Sunghoon brought you down to lay on his chest. “I could fuck you all night…” he trails and his voice vibrates throughout your whole body as he shallowly thrusts up into you, “and into the morning, too.” His hips stilled and instead his fingers caressed your back. “But then we wouldn’t have the full day together, would we, my love?”

You shook your head slightly and Sunghoon wrapped an arm possessively over you before pulling the blankets overtop of you both, his other arm caging you against him completely. As the moonlight filtered through the window of your bedroom, the two of you slowly fell asleep.

In the morning, you were awoken by kisses on your neck and your pussy fluttering around Sunghoon’s slow strokes. He lifted your leg into the air and you turned your body towards the warmth at your back, blinking away sleep. You hummed, a soft whine pulling from your throat as you looked at him.

His glasses were off, which let you know that it hadn’t been long since he woke up himself. Sunghoon leaned down to press his lips to yours, his cock still dragging at a snail’s pace against your walls. “Are you sore?” he asks, pulling away from your lips to kiss your shoulder.

You nodded. Him still inside you, lazily fucking into you felt good, but you couldn’t ignore the way he stretched you open and the deep soreness that came from it. “A little,” you say.

Sunghoon turned you onto your back so you laid beneath him and he pulled out of you completely. “I’m sorry, my love,” he says and his lips meet yours again. “Let me make you feel better.”

He kissed your lips once more and started trailing kisses down to your jaw and along the length of your neck. Sunghoon looked up at you through the strands of his black hair, kissing lower down your body to your breasts, his hands massaging them as he kissed at your perked nipples. Soft moans left you at his touch.

His kisses spread to your stomach, to your hips, and finally right above where you were already wet for him. He spread your legs open more. “I’ll be gentle,” Sunghoon says, placing a kiss to your clit before his tongue poked out to lap at your entrance.

Without Sunghoon around, the idea of perfection was bitter on your tongue—acidic in your chest. But, when your beloved husband was around, finally in your arms again, you understood why people strive for it. You love it.

If perfection was how Sunghoon saw you, then you’d forever be the most absolutely perfect person, woman, wife you could be.

Days pass and you are once again left alone in the vastness of your home. Sunghoon stood true to his word as best as he could, spending as much time with you when he didn’t have to work, but it still wasn’t enough. The house still felt empty, and the occasional early nights when he would come home didn’t help.

It felt like the early nights home he took came at a price. Most nights when he would finally walk through the front door, you were already asleep or close to it. He would wake you up with a kiss and a content sigh. It made your chest ache even more than it already did when he is away.

You were in the middle of washing the dishes, mind trailed off to someplace else as you idly let the sounds of the TV float around you. “The search for the six missing girls is still going strong. Police still has not found the perpetrator, but an interview earlier with the Chief says that they are very close to finding out who has taken these girls. Our anonymous tip hotline is still up and running for anyone who may have any valuable information on where these girls might be.”

The words brought you back to life, and you gasped quietly as you looked towards the tiny screen. You examined the bold numbers at the bottom of the screen. It reminded you of the secret room behind the dollhouse that you completely forgot about. You quickly finished the dishes, leaving them in the strainer to dry completely as you dried your wet hands.

Slowly, you took quiet steps towards the hallway where the dollhouse was displayed. You looked to the front door to ensure that it was still locked. Sunghoon could walk through it at any moment and you didn’t want him to know that you knew about his secret workshop before you had the chance to see what was inside.

You recalled the way the door to the room opened—the pushed opened small bookshelf that revealed the make-shift door. You tip-toed to the bookshelf, examining its sides and the books on it.

You didn’t really look at the books on the bookshelf besides your own cookbooks. Sunghoon’s doll making books were something you rarely touched, if at all. But, you took a hard look at those too, your fingers running over the spines. They all felt like books, the spines hard and sturdy, but something about them still felt off to you. You looked at Sunghoon’s books again, pulling each one out a little to take a peek at the covers.

In the middle of you pulling one of the books, you heard a quiet click and the bookshelf came loose from the wall. You took a step back, shock showing all over your face. Gently, you grabbed the side of the bookshelf and pulled.

The bookshelf creaked open and revealed an opening that you had to bend down a little to enter. When you stepped inside the surprisingly large room, your eyes did a sweep of what was inside. You froze, your stomach dropping as you stared at what was in front of you, absolutely horrified. You didn’t even really know what was in front of you… It looked like an amalgamation of various body parts, stitched and sewn into one. Its skin was weirdly shiny, almost like it was made of some kind of plastic or resin while still keeping its elasticity.

You disregarded the rest of the room, instead taking careful steps towards the strange creation in front of you. It didn’t look neither dead nor alive and that confused you even further—it barely looked human. Its eyes and lips were sewn shut and it was completely hairless. It was held up onto its feet by long strips of silk hanging from the ceiling that was tied around its naked body. Next to where it stood was a table with thick locks of hair tied with ribbons of your favorite color.

Maybe this was the final crack in your mind and it was crumbling completely, but it kind of looked like you too. Even the hair on the table matched yours perfectly. If you looked past all the stitches, the weird shiny skin, and the lack of hair, it almost seemed like you were looking in a mirror. It looked like an unfinished, life-sized doll of you. Your stomach turned in on itself.

The fear in you raised tenfold in you when it started to twitch. You took a couple steps back from it when it began to pull on its restraints a little. It seemed to start to panic and its shiny arms pulled at the restraints keeping it up even more as it tried to reach out to you. You jumped back more, fearful tears filling your eyes. Your mouth opened to speak, but no words would come out.

The uncanny creation tried to speak, though, before realizing that its mouth was sewn shut. When it began to frightfully hum—the sound off tune and terrifying—did your body start to feel heavy and limp. It pulled at its restraints with all the little strength it had as it reached out to you and began to hum wildly… it hummed Sunghoon’s melody, the one he hummed when he worked.

Realization hit you like a tsunami. Not only was you dear husband making dolls of you, but he was trying to make a real, life-sized human doll of you. And it seemed that every part of this surreal creation was taken from another until it resembled you as close as he could get it. Your mind flashed to those six missing girls—the six missing girls that all looked eerily similar to you. Despite having all the puzzle pieces right in front of you, your mind refused to see the whole picture.

You backed up further, the back of your thighs hitting the desk that was against the back wall near the make-shift door. You twisted towards it, chest heaving as you scanned the scattered papers and opened books. You picked up what looked to be a journal Sunghoon kept and read over the open page with trembling hands.

The entry remarked at how the experiment was working well and how none of the body parts were rejecting like they did before. He praises how the process was much smoother than last time, how the girls he chose were the perfect fit. The journal dropped from your hands.

Those girls going missing due to Sunghoon was no longer speculation. Your eyes snapped back to his “experiment.” It must be those poor girls, their bodies sewn into one to look like you. You still didn’t want to believe it.

Tears poured from your eyes as fear sunk its claws deep within you and forced its way down your throat and into your heart. Your entire world came crashing down around you and quiet sobs left your mouth as you fought against the idea that your husband wasn’t who he said he was—that he was a kidnapper, a killer.

You rushed forwards, your arms raised towards his creation before you wrapped them around yourself and remained a safe distance. “No!” you exclaimed as you rapidly shook your head. “No, this is all a misunderstanding—a mistake! Sunghoon wouldn’t do this… He isn’t that type of person!” You wiped at your eyes, almost believing your own words until you dropped your hands.

Dolls completely surrounded the peculiar creation—Sunghoon’s experiment. It was even more that the ones that surrounded you in the hallway when they were showing you the scene in the dollhouse. They all looked at you for a moment before slowly turning to look up at how the amalgamation of stolen girls thrashed towards you, still frantically humming.

The dollhouse.

It was a warning. Those scenes the dolls showed you… it was all a warning. This was what they were trying to tell you this entire time. This wasn’t just any ordinary experiment for Sunghoon, a dollmaker going completely mad in his craft—no. This experiment was for you. He was using these girls, tearing apart their bodies limb from limb and creating some freakish doll of them that was meant to be you. It was practice… He was doing all of this so he knew exactly what to do when he laid his tools down and cut into the real thing. You were next.

Sunghoon’s words rang in your ears and bounced around in your head: “I want to take you apart, carve into you like I do my dolls, but this time make something real. Have you be so perfect forever.” You finally understood it now.

Suddenly, all thrashing ceased and the humming finally abruptly stopped. The only thing that filled the silence was your muffled sobs. “I’m sorry,” you cried, unsure if it even heard you. “I’m so sorry.”

You stumbled towards the opening of the room and barely missed hitting your head on the way out. You didn’t even wait for the bookshelf to click back into place before rushing through the hallway and to the kitchen. For once in your entire life, you hoped that Sunghoon had a long night at work.

Nearly falling into the kitchen counter, you shakily grabbed the landline on the wall. Those bold numbers of the anonymous tip hotline flashed behind your eyes and you rushed to put in the numbers, putting the ringing phone to your ear. “This is the anonymous tip hotline for the six missing girls. Please only share useful tips that could help a breakthrough in the case. Do you have any information to share?”

Your breathing came out heavy and you tried to force the oxygen to reach your lungs, inhaling sharply as you tried to find your words. “I… I-I think my husband kidnapped those girls…” you breathed in a whisper. The woman on the other end of the line started talking, but your focus was abruptly taken when you heard another, more familiar voice behind you.

“Something scare you, darling?” Sunghoon asks, his voice gentle and filled with worry. You couldn’t tell if he was being genuine.

You jumped, pressing further into the kitchen counter as you spun in place, the phone leaving your ear. Sunghoon sat at the kitchen table, his thick brows knitted together. You didn’t even hear him come back home. Despite the landline being away from your ear, you still heard the woman on the other end asking you questions, frantically asking if you were still there. You were completely frozen.

Sunghoon rose to his feet and the stove light illuminated him. You saw him differently now. No longer was he your loving husband, he was something else. Still, you hated the way your heart soared when you locked eyes on him. How your body relaxed, even in the slightest. You hated how you felt complete now that he was here and how you wanted to run into his arms.

He crossed the short distance to you, his arms coming to rest against the counter on both sides of you. You inhaled shakily now that you and Sunghoon were face to face. Without his eyes leaving yours, Sunghoon took the phone from your quivering hand and hung it back up on the wall. His arm returned to its position next to you, completely caging you within his arms.

Sunghoon leaned his forehead against yours. “I thought I told you that you had nothing to be afraid of, not when I’m here.” His voice was still gentle—soft—and it was lowered as he moved one of his arms to take one of your shaky hands in his. You wanted to pull away from him and wrap your arms around him simultaneously. You felt exhausted.

You voice shook, “Y-You kidnapped those girls, didn’t you? Turned them into… into…” Sunghoon drew back to look at you, his head falling to the side as his brows pushed together. His confused look made you start to question if you had been imagining everything—the dolls, the dollhouse, the hidden room, the experiment. “Into… what?” Sunghoon asks.

“...Into me!” you exclaimed, more tears running down your already wet cheeks as you choked out a sob. Sunghoon’s hand tightened around yours. “You killed them… and who knows how many others! Am I next? Are you going to kill me too?”

Sunghoon let go of your hand so he could cup your face with both of his hands, his thumbs wiping underneath your eyes to get rid of the fallen tears. “They aren’t dead!” he says. “And I swear to you that I’ll never hurt you, my love. You know that. Think of them as… reborn.”

You started to tremble in his arms and tried to shift away from him, but Sunghoon wouldn’t let you go anywhere. “Is that what you’re going to do to me? Was all of this—” you gestured around the room at all the dolls of you sitting pretty on the various shelves around the kitchen “—just practice for the real thing?” you spat out. You tried to move again, but Sunghoon’s hands dropped from your face to your upper arms to keep you in place.

“No!” Sunghoon started, his voice coated in disbelief that you would even ask him that as he shook his head. “No… can’t you see? This—” he used a finger to motion around the kitchen at the dolls “—is a reflection of how much I love you. My devotion to you. You, above anything else, above everything else. A peek inside my mind and how the only thing in there is you.”

“A-And that experiment of yours—the missing girls? Behind the wall?” you asked.

“That… is my dedication to you—m-my oath.” Sunghoon was completely desperate. He pleaded with you, his eyes wide and begging you to believe his words. His eyes were watery, like if you didn’t believe him he might cry as well, and he looked at you over the rim of his wire-framed glasses that slipped down his nose bridge.

You didn’t know what to believe. Didn’t know what to say. You just wanted to go upstairs with Sunghoon and lay in your bed and forget about everything that you’ve witnessed as he held you close to his chest. It was all too much, and your resolve was starting to crack and shatter. You wanted to smooth down your wrinkled dress and fix your messy hair, but Sunghoon didn’t let you move a single inch in fear that you would run from him. You couldn’t tell which one of you was more terrified.

His hands slid down from your upper arms and down to your hands, grasping them so tight that it started to hurt. “Come… Come with me…” he trailed, gulping thickly. You stared at him with wide, frightful eyes, suddenly unwilling to move, but Sunghoon desperately pleaded with you. He looked like he was seconds from getting down onto his knees. “Please,” he begged, pulling you into him, as his voice cracked. “You know I’d never do anything ever to hurt you.”

Sunghoon took a step back, hoping that you would follow after him, and you did. You let him guide you down the hallway all the way to the bookshelf and into the room behind it, his grip on your hands never once loosening. He led you in front of the uncanny image of you that he created. “I know how it looks,” Sunghoon says, his voice hushed. “But there’s no pain, no sorrow, nothing.”

It didn’t try to reach out to you like it did earlier and all the dolls that once surrounded it were gone. It didn’t hum that out-of-tune, terrifying version of the melody Sunghoon hummed when he worked either. It just hung limply from its silk restraints. “It just is,” Sunghoon continued. “And when it’s fully done, and completely polished, it’ll be flawless.” He delicately took your chin and guided your head to the side so you looked at him. Your body finally stopped fighting against itself and you relaxed in his grasp. “Like you are.”

Sunghoon leaned forward, hesitantly pausing to look at you again before bringing his lips to meet yours. He pulled you into him, his body wrapping around yours, and you timidly invited him in.

His lips felt so good against yours, and you knew that once you parted for air you’ll miss the feeling of them forever until he kissed you again. It felt right—it felt like home. The home where the two of you were always together and he held you like he was holding you now—like he was afraid that if he let go he would lose you. That if he didn’t hold you like a delicate porcelain cup you would chip and crack and shatter. And you would.

When Sunghoon’s lips moved against yours like they did in this moment, everything fell into place. All your worries slid off your back and for a brief minute, it was just the two of you in the whole wide world. Nothing existed but him, and his body enveloped in yours, and his touch that made you burn. And the flames danced so beautifully for him, didn’t they?

Just when you were about to pull away to quell the heaviness in your lungs, you felt a sudden sharp pain in your neck. You hissed, breaking away from Sunghoon’s lips just barely. Sunghoon chased your lips, holding the back of your head and pulling you closer against his body as he kissed you harder.

You whimpered against his lips, your nails digging into his arms as you tried to free yourself from his vice-like grip. It was no use, Sunghoon was never going to let you go. You felt your body grow heavy in his arms and he had to hold you up. Your vision began to spot black and fray around the edges, and your ears rang terribly. Just before you passed out completely, and over the ringing of your ears, you heard Sunghoon’s muffled voice as he kissed your neck where the pain stemmed.

“I love you. I love you so much that it hurts, I truly do.”

You fade in and out of consciousness as time passes around you. Sometimes you see blurred glimpses of Sunghoon, sometimes it's just an array of colors until you black out again.

You aren’t sure how long it’s been when your eyes finally do open and you remain conscious for good. Blinking away the blurriness in your vision, you examine how you're laying on the couch in your living room. Your entire body aches and it feels stiff. Your head is pounding and you almost close your eyes again to ease the pain you feel. You notice how you’re in different clothes and there’s a blanket over top of you. Too late do you notice the figure in your peripheral, and your eyes shift to look at them.

Sunghoon hovers over you, his expression a chaotic mix of hopeful, relief, and worry as he stares down at you. He’s wearing different clothes too, and his hair is a complete mess, like he’s been running his hands through it, and his glasses almost slide completely off his face. “Are you here, my love?” Sunghoon asks quietly. His voice sounds slightly hoarse.

You give him a confused look, pushing the blanket off of you and crying out from the pain you feel as you try and sit up. Sunghoon rushes to your aid, tossing the blanket to the side without a single thought, and helps ease you to your feet. Your gaze drops to your legs as he helps you stand and you notice how weird they look—shiny. There’s slight indented lines at your knees, too. You look at your arms and they’re the same.

You look doll-like.

Once you’re steadily on your feet, Sunghoon moves a step back to take you all in. You notice how done up you are and when you carefully raise a stiff and sore arm to your hair you feel how it’s styled. Your gaze lands on Sunghoon’s face, his eyes meeting yours.

His eyes are shining—completely full of love and pride. You’ve only seen him look like this when he first came to you with one of the dolls he made that looked the most like you, and when the two of you are in bed and his fingers are gently caressing your skin as he admires you. But, it was even more intense than in those scenarios. Confusion clouds you and you wait for Sunghoon to say something, and he does. One singular word.

“Perfect.”

[ kipo’s note . . . ] would it be wrong to say how i absolutely #needthat #desperately… like hehe yes i’ll be your perfect doll for you forever and ever and ever (๑´ω`๑)

𖥦 ﴾ 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗎𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈 . . . 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 , 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 , 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ﴿ ︵͡   𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (´ε｀ʃƪ)♡

🏷️﹙ 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗒 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍? 𝖼𝗅𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 ﹚ @jjunberry @gothgyuu @gyuuberries @hyukascampfire @xylatox @ghstzzn @izzyy-stuff @sunoosgfv @jihyokat @whosserina @jellymochii @innocygnet @sumsumtingz @riribelle @yeoningz @minaateez @beombunni @jiryunn @lvrs-street2mmorrow @everythingvirgoes @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @fancypeacepersona @deobitifull @tinycatharsis @strawberryshoujosundae

© jjunbug - all rights reserved. do not repost on any social media or sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

[prkhaven]

MOTH TO A FLAME -p.js, p.sh-

With intent of moving on faith had other plans, guiding you right back where you started in the name of love and fate

pairing— fwb’s brother!jay x fem!reader x fwb!sunghoon

genre: smut minors do not interact, beauty behind madness, angst, slight fluff,friend with benefits au, friend with benefits’ brother au, park twin brothers, sibling rivarly, love triangle, p with plot, p with feeling, part 2 of you belong to me

wc: 14.9k

-all warnings under cut-

warnings: morally ambiguous characters, kissing, profanity, arguing, manipulation, toxicity, possessiveness, brief mention of family member passing and alcohol consumption

smut warnings: unprotected sex(whoopsie), p in v, emotional sex (emotional love making), cock warming, light dirty talk, praising, creampie, usage of nicknames (baby, princess, good girl)

You shot up from Jay’s arms in utter terror hearing Sunghoon’s voice on the other side of the door. A cold bucket of water drenched you making the extent of what you’ve done, of who you’ve done prominent.

“I swear- Open the fucking door Jongseong!”

With frantic eyes moving around your chest heaved until you soloed in on the locked bedroom door and how the doorknob feverishly rattled to open it.

In the moment the promise you made the moment you left home flashed through your racing mind. To have no more regrets—Go for what you want. Life is too short to dwell on things that cannot be changed, accept it as it is. It either shapes you to become better or worsens you from what you already started as.

Somehow, you single handedly managed to stomp on the very promise.

Jay saw the exhaustion instantly melt from you, replacing it with pure distress. He ran his tongue over his lips as he cupped your cheeks bringing your attention away from the banging door and onto him.

“Shh it’s okay” The pad of his thumb creased over softly as your skin crawled feeling disgusted, disappointment and guilt seeping into each crack your body had. Each bang on the door replicated each thump against your head

“Baby look at me” The attempt in calming your heavy pants was pointless, he had no way in calming you when all he wanted was Sunghoon to just shut up

“I know. I know” Jay hushed, wrapping his arms around you into his warm embrace. You shivered at the unexpected contact, your train of thought from the door gone as he soothed your bare back, “Let me get you a shirt”

“Stay right here, let me deal with him” It was soft and sweet like honey wishing to ease your nerves but you weren’t rest assured in the slightest but he let go of you before you could feel even an ounce of comfort from him

Wrapping your arms around your body to cover your bare self, you listened to every single muffled word that spewed from Sunghoon’s mouth. “Open the damn door!”

“Stop being a coward and face me Jay”

“Park Jongseong open the fucking door!”

And yet never once did you hear your name in any of his sentences of distress. You didn’t know whether that was good or bad—you still felt your stomach twisting in itself.

“Here we go” Moving your eyes hearing Jay who was already dressed, giving the same warm smile that never left his face

Holding out a shirt, he pulled your arms away from your body. You winced at the sudden feel of soreness connecting to your brain from your body and Jay had to hold back a prideful smile from forming, reminding himself of the graveness of the moment.

Slipping your arms and head through, his shirt laid over your body and he couldn’t help but have his eyes rack over. He knows he should be focusing on his brother that was going to quite literally break down his door any second.

His body leaned in and placed a peck on your forehead when he dragged up his sheets to cover your body, “Stay right here baby”

Seeing the back of Jay’s head walking closer and closer to the door, you felt a sickening feeling growing in your stomach. You decided to disregard Jay’s words, your eyes roamed around the room in search of your discarded underwear only to find them folded right next to you.

Peering over his shoulder for a moment, Jay smiled when you noticed the piece of undergarment left behind for you. He wanted to help you or more like he will. Especially in ways you need him.

He’s not a monster—far from it. He’s willing to deal with anything and everything if it means protecting you from harm, especially from Sunghoon who took you away from him.

Not the other way around.

There was hesitance in him once he stood in front of the door. His jaw clenched watching the shaking door. He wasn’t scared of his brother or of what he would do.

He was more worried about how this will affect you, of all the damage that Sunghoon has caused to you, in order to show you what true love is.

Jay’s fingers twisted the lock and he expected his brother to burst open the door but instead there was a defying silence. A pin drop could be heard, he furrowed his eyebrows considering this was the first time he’s witnessed his brother so quiet.

His hand hovered over the doorknob, sucking in a deep breath twisting at the knob but before the door could even crack open, Sunghoon burst it open with haste.

Stumbling back Jay tried to regain his balance but like a flash, he felt pain straight to his jaw while his head flung to the side from the impact.

Not even able to adjust to the pain shooting through, his collar was grabbed and he was forced to face Sunghoon who was furiously staring at him, heavy pants falling from him. “Where the fuck is she?!”

“Sunghoon!”

Your loud screech made him stop, the shout of his full name instead of the nickname you always called him in his brother’s room made a strike hit directly in his chest

Seeing for a second how Jay held his jaw moving it around until he looked over at you and his harsh demeanor dropped along with his heart to the pit of his stomach. A look of disbelief in your eyes.

It bothered him, you shouldn’t be in disbelief, it should be him.

The more he looked at the unlabeled expression. You were too mixed in with other emotions, it was ineligible to pin exactly which emotion was which, which he used to do easily.

Rage, regret, and most of all disappointment screamed at him, he just wasn’t sure if it was for himself or you but he could feel it in his bones.

His hand loosened around Jay’s collar enough for his brother to slip out of his grasp to stand in front of you to shield you—to protect you from him.

Gritting his teeth, he glared harshly with reflection of his anger, “Get away from her” Sunghoon’s chilling voice rang throughout the room, quickly masking the slight shiver in his tone

“She doesn’t want- She doesn’t fucking need saving from me. She needs saving from you” Sunghoon marched towards Jay, his finger pointed direct at him

Jay’s arm extended behind to push you further behind him when he noticed, “Backup Hoon” Jay’s soft tone retaliated the harsh one the other was seething out

Letting out a loud scoff, Sunghoon dropped his arm to his side as he stared in pure disbelief. Your eyes looked between the two brothers as your bottom lip jutted.

Sunghoon waited for a response from you, to step in and shield him from Jay but met with a familiar disappointment at the silence, he unconsciously clenched his lips tighter together to conceal the shiver of his lips that was slipping through his mouth.

Not trusting himself to say another word, he turned his heel and left the bedroom. Jay let out a loud sigh of relief and right when he was going to turn to you, he froze when you yelled out Sunghoon’s name, softly pushing past him to chase after him.

Jay’s eyes followed your fading figure, a twinge twist in him as he sees the back of your head, realizing it’s becoming something he’s growing far too accustomed to, leaving him stranded in his room, cold.

“Sunghoon!” You yelled again as you chased after Sunghoon when he stopped right before the front door, an evident slouch in his usual perfect posture, his hands balled into a fist at his sides

Is he stupid for denying the obvious or is he just reluctant in accepting the truth.

In an internal desperate search for something that could delude him because even after coming back home, hearing the muffled noise growing louder the more he stepped closer to the room followed by the pained call of your voice yearning for Jay didn’t feel real because it wasn’t right?

His body shaking, the build up spilling over as he harshly turned his body around to face you, “Why you?!” He shouted, “It could’ve been Sor-“ He paused abruptly before clearing his throat

“It could’ve been anyone else, why did it have to be you” His voice cracked slowly growing softer after each word

Ignoring the clench of your chest closing in, you chuckled shaking your head softly as the sound of skin slapping as your arms harshly landed at your side, “You tell me Sunghoon”

Your choice of words meant more than the surface level. He knew that, he could feel it and yet, he was arrogant to admit the truth of it.

His mouth opened in response but nothing came out. You bit your lip frustration letting out a loud sigh. “Go on, tell me Sunghoon. Why me of all people?”

“Was it because I was easy or was I just unfortunately the first girl you laid eyes on that would suffice this-this stupid plan of yours?”

The evident scrunch in your face with the mention of his set to fail plan from the start was a harsh reminder of the truth of why you were in his life to begin with.

Feeling his stomach churning as his heart cracked more, “I-I” He stuttered finding the words, “It-It’s not like that” Sunghoon took a step closer to you, unsure if he was trying to convince you or himself, “It’s never been like that”

“What has it been like then? Please enlighten me, just what are you so afraid of?”

That you’ll leave me is what he would’ve told you he had the courage to admit it. He thinks the situation would be far different from what it is now if he just had the will to say it outloud.

The thought of having to be forced to lose you tore him apart beyond recognition.

Seeing the change of expression from him—of something driven by anger to a breaking point, your face fell along with your heart melting to mush, “Sunghoon, that's all I’m asking of you… Speak your mind, tell me what you fee and I’ll listen” You softly patted your chest, wanting to emphasize your mere existence to him, “You know, I will- I always do”

The comfort you brought him swallowed him whole so much he didn’t realize your hands hovering over his arms until they lightly grazed them. He looked up from the ground to catch your eyes. The genuine look in them meant to be reassuring only left taunts in their wake.

“Please Sunghoon” A last attempt in bringing any type of rational conversation between you both

But to your disappointment, he yanked his body away from yours without a single word, not even daring to look behind his shoulder while opening the door, a hesitant step out of the door before placing it outside and walking out.

You stared face contorting in realization, “H-Hoonie” Calling out to him was useless, a burn built up in you as the door slamming muffled it to be left unheard

The weak of your knees buckled after one another, the weight of your world crashing down on you, “Hey Hey” Jay’s alarming breath came and rushed over to you, his knees scraping against the hard tile floors to catch the fall

When your body felt the warm embrace, you crumbled in his arms. Gulping down your silent sobs attempting to wipe the fallen tears away but your hand shook, unable to clean up the streaks going down your face.

Jay’s arms held you tightly whispering sweet nothing into your arms while he crumbled to the floor with you. His body rocked softly as he held you and consoled you.

Moving your head side to side when he tried to pull you up from the ground but he softly held your reluctant self hoisting you up, “Let’s go sit down somewhere else”

You tried to plant yourself in your step fearing that if you moved a muscle, the world you’ve grown accustomed to, the life you accepted would truly be stripped from you—you’d lose everything.

He continued to help you to stand up right, your body unconsciously resting against his as he became the pillar for you to stand. Unable to resist the pull of your body, forcing your leg to move after another.

Whilst being pulled away, you turned your head to look back to the closed door. You felt your heart shrivel as your robot-like movements came to a halt. Vision blurry with your eyelids feeling heavy, instinctively your body moved towards it until a grazing finger hooked under your chin moving your gaze away.

In your new view, Jay appeared with the dim lighting shining behind him, a welcoming smile as his other hand’s thumb rubbed at your shoulder as he guided you again, never letting your gaze let up his.

Only moving forward with no backward glances.

As the door closed behind him, Sunghoon wanted to disintegrate into nothing. His car keys dug straight into his palm, each step of his hard and heavy.

He didn’t think he would be able to walk out but he proved himself wrong and he hated it.

Slamming the driver’s door, he threw the keys into the cup holder, his hands flew to grip the steering wheel where he felt the burn of leather under his palm.

He screamed in frustration, hitting the steering wheel repeatedly in pure anger. He was exploding, an eruption that he couldn’t stop.

Instead of being in the house with you—to feel the radiating warmth of comfort, he sat in silence in the cold air of his car.

Unable to have the energy to even turn on his car since the heavy feeling in his chest rooted him into the seat.

If he took this hit, he’d enter a point where he would never return from. He would never forgive himself for being a coward.

“Fuck!” He hit the leathering around his steering wheel before leaning down and pressing his forehead against it

The broad and perfect posture of his shoulders he has pride in now hunched over his body feeling smaller than he has ever felt before.

“Don’t. Don’t” Each word followed with a shake in between, his grip loosened around the wheel and fell to the side, “Please don’t cry” His eyes burning but he still refused to blink

Yet, a stride of wetness creased down past his cheek to his chin, hanging at the tip to fall. He scoffed to himself in the mockery as he used the back of his hand to wipe the single tear away.

He sniffled roughly in an attempt to remind himself of who he is, of that promise he made years ago—Park Sunghoon doesn’t cry but after the single tear, it couldn’t stop.

・・・・・

Your hand hovered over the door, taking in the design of a door you’ve seen far too many times. You opened your mouth before shaking your head and nearly turned around but the front door opened right before you could leave.

Jay’s wide smile was already plastered before even got to fully see you. The door wide open as he shifted to the side, enough space to welcome you in, “I’m glad you were able to come”

The swimming trunks immediately caught your eye when you looked over at him, noticing the thin see through tank top, sunglasses resting on top of his head, the once eyebags under his eyes completely gone, a lighter demeanor radiating off of him with a twinkle in his eyes.

Your lips twitched. He looked happy.

“You offered” You softly responded, stepping foot into the house

Your eyes discreetly looked around, taking in how everything remained in the exact place even when everything was different. Deep down, your stomach flipped and turned into a squeeze as your fingers twinged at your side before curling into a fist, your thumb running over your knuckles.

It was eerily quiet which wasn’t uncommon but rather feeling the pleasant calming nature, you felt a heavy weight rest on your shoulders. The sound of the door behind snapped you out, earning a peering gaze over your shoulder to notice the obvious distance between the two of you.

Fiddling with your fingers, your gaze remained on the floor but when you were going to speak, Jay beat you to it and spoke up. “I just wanted to check in. See how you were doing, unbearable heat, am I right?” He awkwardly chuckled

There was more he wanted to see. Wanted to see how you were holding up but even still through a weak smile nodding your head. “I’m fine” Grazing your arm feeling him inch closer into your space, “How about you? You look… good” You turned your attention over to him

“I’m doing the best I have been in a while” He smiled warmly prompting your own lackluster smile back at him, “Come come” He took the initiative and walked ahead of you leading towards the patio door

Your footsteps slowed, watching how he walked through but you remained still. Jay noticed the lack of presence following him, he turned around to see you hesitant in joining him.

Suddenly coming into view, you looked up seeing Jay extending out a hand for you to grab. “It’s okay” The tone tender and soft afraid to speak louder and scare you, “I’m right here”

A lump formed in your throat but you bit back your tongue. A tight lip smile before softly talking his hand as he brought you onto the patio. Your eyes immediately looked around, a tug upwards on your lips as you scanned the area, a dazed expression casting on your face.

The splash of water erupted making you blink harshly to see the rippling effect in the pool. Your heart hammered as you took steps closer to the edge of the pool, your mind reeling at a thought—a foolish one might you add.

Jay emerged from the bottom of the pool, his hands wiped over his face. The brightest smile ever over his face, how his eyes sparkled while looking up at you as his hands gripping the ledge propelling his body up just enough to rest his folded arms over to hold himself up. “Pool is perfect temperature”

A string of his hair clung to his forehead. You crouched down, your hand pushing back the singular hair with a strained smile. “There you go” You softly whispered

His wet hand grabbed your arm and pulled you in with a laugh, you squealed and flared your arms as you were submerged into the cold chlorine water. Strong hands gripped you as you pushed yourself to the surface, erupting a loud gasp from your mouth when the air hit your face.

Jay’s laughter flooded your ears as you wiped your face down to rid of the water on it. Whipping your head towards Jay to see the heartfelt laughter rumbling out from the depths of his stomach, leaving you to wonder has he always laughed like this.

When he opened his eyes to look at you, his laughter began to die down, soft chuckle with bursts of loud held back laughs until he let out a big sigh. “Sorry, you look like you needed to cool down”

Sending him a harsh glare as you try to make your way to the edge of the pool but he remained to have his hold on you making the downwards of your mouth turn into a smile followed by a scoff.

Following after you until you were in the shallow ends, Jay looked at you with a sheepish grin before loosening his hold on you.

Instantly your hand flew to splash the water in front of you, he laughed as he accepted the water sent his way. You laughed loudly seeing the expand of his arm and thrown back head as the water splashed at his body.

He opened his eyes and looked at you with wide eyes when the splashing stopped and with a sudden notice, his expression shifted and your smile faltered into an awkward cough, “What?”

The look of his eyes softening and filled with the same emotion he always looked at made you push out your lips for a second before landing into a thin line. The water swished around him as he pushed through and walked closer to you.

Eyeing him as he got closer, you raised your arms up but you dropped them when Jay sunk to his knees in the shallow end in front of you.

The water covering his built body, the tanktops sticking to his body leaving no imagination to know what was underneath. A quick thought lingered towards the back muscles your fingers dug into, the sculptured body that you were clinging onto for support—as if imagination was needed for your mind.

You quickly pulled yourself up slightly but your eyes never moved from his. He looked up at you with a side smile before extending his hands out for you to grab. Looking in between them and his face, his smile grew when the faint piano melody followed by hums played in the background, “Lana del rey?”

He didn't respond to you right away, tilting his head to the side when his eyes pooled with such care when the lyrics flowed through the air. Taking a moment to appreciate the song coming on. “Guilty” He chuckled as the bright sunlight beaming down casted a hue over him

‘Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?’

‘Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?’

Goosebumps ghosted your skin, not fully sure if it occurred because of the window passing by that brushed away his damped hair or with the way he just looked at you without a word.

A flutter in your chest reminds you of reality. The thumps of each beat in the song mimicked the ones of your heart. Gulping down the forming lump as you watched the sparkle in his eyes grow the longer he looked at you.

‘Will you still love me when I’m no longer beautiful?’

“From The Great Gatsby” Jay’s voice followed through the music, melting into one with it, “Or how I remember it… The greatest longing ever known”

Your face scrunched up in the moment, the clear scenes from the movie flashing through your mind as you recall it from all that time ago from when you first watched it, “The greatest longing huh…” You softly said to yourself

Being able to pull your gaze away to focus on the scenery in the distance, “What would you do in that situation?”

Jay remained looking at you, a loud sighing coming from him didn’t manage to catch your attention fully, “I would do everything in my power to get back the one I love with me”

The sincerity bled through his voice and into your aching soul, “After suffering countless time without her, I would do anything to make her see me again”

Your lips stretched back shaking your head at the answer, “I meant as Daisy”

He shook his head instantaneously, “I’d be gatsby” The fast respond made you finally look away from what's it front of you—to acknowledge him

Tilting your head to the side, you saw how the bright smile faded away and was met with the thin lining of his lips, “You’d be with him?”

“No I would be him” Jay let out a sigh, “I would never find myself in Daisy’s position because I’d be in Gatsby’s position in the first place”

The harsh thump in your chest made you slightly shift in the water, the whirl of the mineral made the sense of cloud grow greater, “You’d do all of that..?”

Jay extended his arms out landing on each side of you growing closer to you, “I would do far more than what he’s done” The smile didn’t meet his eyes but it didn’t need to, his words were perfectly conveyed

‘Dear Lord, when I get to heaven’

‘Please let me bring my man’

ꨄ︎

As you threaded up the stairs, your hands ghosted over the rails knowing if you touched them, it would burn your skin too much. With each step up the stairs, your heart grew more active, your breathing became uneven as you reached the stop of the stairwell.

A familiar hallway emerged and your heart undeniably dropped. The same portrait hung from the wall and you had to force yourself to look at the ground as you walked by—focusing on the intent of finding towels to dry up.

Yet, as you passed your body shivered at the ghost feel of a hard gaze following your every move. Your fingers digging into the flesh of your palm as your legs quickly carried you away and past the closed bedroom door and portrait.

Reaching the closet where the extra amenities were held, you came to a stop right when in the corner of your eye, you spotted the closed balcony door. Seeming your body didn’t wait for your mind to register, gliding across the floor before landing in front of it. Your hand twists the knob and pries it open enough for you to slip through.

You held your arms close to your chest, each step closer to the outlining rail ahead of you. The scenery grew into your sight by the second, making your heart cave in itself, a soft smile ghosting your face when overlooking the backyard.

Resting your arms on the rail, your phone coming into view as you unlocked it with dancing fingers crossing over the screen before clicking on the contact that you’ve refused to open.

Instantly, messages that were once constant flooded your screen. A saddening feeling itchy inside of your chest. All the good morning and goodnight messages he sent you even if you were right next to him.

But the more you scrolled down, the messages came to an abrupt stop with you being the final message.

You: Sunghoon can we please talk

-Unable to send message. Message block is active-

Sighing heavily as you stared at the subscript underneath your failed message. Seeing the name at the top of the screen made your vision impaired for a moment before refocusing on it—Sunghoon.

Your thumb hovered over the call button that all it took was one tap and you would kill the curiosity. Yet, you hesitated.

The more your thumb inched closer, the more you grew more uncertain of whether you wanted to awaken what you have pushed deep down to never be touched again. Head filled to the brim of him regardless of how many times you’ve tried time and time again to get rid of him that you swore he was still there calling out to you softly.

The endearment with a hint of an underlying emotion that you couldn’t decipher made your thumping heart come to a halt, the sound of his voice grew louder that it was practically screaming in your mind.

You laughed at yourself, shaking your head, dipping it into a low hang. The slouch of your head now laying on your shoulders with an unexplainable heavier weight washing down on you.

Immediately picking on the hushed whisper of your name at the shell of your ear, you jerked away ripping your eyes open as you whipped your head around to Jay resting his head on your shoulder. The night winds no longer affect your heating body.

His arms extended out at each of your sides, his hands covered and holding the forgotten towel around you both. His eyes looked ahead to mimic what you were doing. The breath in your throat got caught trying to focus on him until you pulled back when Sunghoon’s voice suddenly creeped into your mind.

Moving your head around, eyes frantically wandering around—looking for the source where it came from but you only caught Jay’s gaze looking at you. A light frown on his face that you would’ve missed if you weren’t paying close attention.

“It’s cold up here” His voice softly said, “We have a fireplace I can start up” Your eyes blinked quicker than usual when you heard this—you didn’t know there was a fireplace here

Jay wrapped the towel for you to grasp onto as he flickered to start the fire. Holding the soft cloth tighter around as you watched him. The flames roared brighter and hotter as he softly chuckled and taking a step back to admire his work, “All done” He hummed before taking a seat and patting the empty space next to him

Straining out a smile, you silently took a seat next to him shifting as you got adjusted, noticing how he still wore the damp tank top from earlier. Fiddling with the cloth around you, you extended an arm and wrapped the other end to his shoulder.

You could feel his gaze shifting towards you but you looked away before you caught it.

Jay smiled to himself, gripping onto the end of the towel and holding it in place, forcing himself to inch closer to properly drape it over his shoulder. There was a moment of silence, the fire cackling being the only thing that could be heard.

“I didn’t know there was a fireplace here” You broke the silence with your sentence

“Only me and my mom really used to use it…” There was a pause in his sentence before he continued, “Sunghoon never really like using it, he preferred to go inside to dry up”

Your eyes remained on the growing fire, the warmth radiating off of it to warm your skin. Letting go of the material around you causing it to towel slip off your shoulder.

“Can I ask what happened?”

“That prompted all of this” You waved your hands in a circular motion and Jay watched how your face contorted with your heavy sigh, it was the least that he could tell you

“You know that, you and I met back then. Before you and Sunghoon met” The news made you shift over to him with a shocked expression

He rubbed his nape with a strained chuckle, the towel now falling off his shoulder to his back, “It was our last year of school. I was running late on my first day as a transfer and I couldn’t rely on my dad to bail me out of trouble” Jay laughed as he recalled the time

“So for the first time in my life, I hopped a fence to not get caught and to my luck there was a kind girl just on the other side of the wall that made sure of that”

You’ve just had a revelation.

“That was you?” Your voice barely above a whisper but he caught it nevertheless

“That was me” Jay softly responded, “Ever since you helped me, I tried to show my gratitude to you. I wanted to repay you for saving me from an earful from my dad”

“But everytime, I was near you I froze up. My words started to jumble together and you somehow grew farther from me with each attempt” He pitied himself from back then, how his past self wouldn’t believe his current self

“So having to find an alternative, I decide to write to you every single day and left each note on your desk”

You searched for any deceitfulness and it came up empty, “That sticky note you have for your lock screen”

Not even noticing how he knew what your lock screen was, you shuffled to take out the device sneaking a glance towards the lightened up screen ‘Go for what you want’

“That was me”

A ringing in your ear had you releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You remember when Sunghoon wrote it for you—taping it to the side of your mirror, to remind you every day to chase after what you want.

You were deceived.

“There was no fate if you thought that’s what it was when he wrote that. It was just me”

“I-I don’t get it” You interrupted, “How did he know you used to write me notes? How did he know what you wrote to me back then?”

“He went through my things after leaving me on the plane because he knew I couldn’t do anything to stop him. He searched for any piece that get back at me for whatever I did to him”

Your head jerked back, body leaning back in the armless couch, “What do you mean he left you on the plane?”

“We both got accepted to the same university and when the time came, we were on the flight but he left before we took off… Sunghoon was never supposed to stay home” The thumping of your heart mixed with your blaring ringing ears

“What did you do to him?” Your voice became stronger that he could feel it in his bones

He didn’t want to dump everything on you, it wasn’t your burden to bear. It was something between him and Sunghoon. He just needed to make sure you knew how your beginning was meant to be with him as he could only hope you would end with him too.

“Nothing. I did nothing to him”

You dropped your head into your hands, rubbing at your creased forehead. There must be more—they just had to be. The gnaw at your stomach ate away at you as the words repeated in his mind.

Nibbling on your lip, teeth dragging at your bottom flesh as eyes moved around, the faint sparks flying from the fire landing in front of you to the ground before burning out, “Where were you that day, when you told me to meet up with you at the park?”

You brought your head up to face him, “You told me to come and I did- Only to be left out like an idiot waiting for you to come just for you to not show up that day”

“If you say all these things- If what you mean is true… Where were you?

He tensed at your words, his shoulders squaring up while his gaze looking down to the floor unable to face you. Regrets he’s had a few but then again, he was not going to let losing you become his biggest one.

“I’m sorry for not showing up. I am so sorry” Cracks in his sentence reflecting his state of mind

“Sorry doesn’t cut it Jay. You stopped sending notes after that and I never heard from you since”

“I really wanted to go to you. I swear I did- I never meant to stop writing, It’s just that… life shifted for me during that time and I made a sacrifice that I regret ‘till this day”

Your hands pulled yourself up in surprise, shifting in your seat left to watch how Jay came kneeling down in front of you. A failed attempt in trying to get him to stand as he stayed rooted in place. “But I’m done making sacrifices to make everyone else happy. I’m going to do what I want”

“And I know I want you. I’ll wait for you if you need time—I’ll give you all the time in the world if you need it. If you need to use someone” He taps at his chest in an offer of himself to you, “Use me. I don’t care if it’s because you need to get over him or just to get your anger out”

“I just want to show you how you deserved to be treated and cared for. With just pure intentions, no malicious intent”

“Jay-” You softly grabbed his hands but he reached up and engulfed your hands into his, the callous feel creasing over your skin as you felt the roughness of them

His thumb rubbed circles over your hand, his glassy eyes staring at you, not sure if it came from the overwhelming emotions or the dust particles flowing through the air seeping into his eyes, “Won’t you let me in?”

ꨄ︎

So many people for such a spontaneous celebration that you made last minute.

The small party was buzzing with light chatter. Your eyes looked around taking it all in. A few months passed down the line without a stop and it wasn’t to your surprise when Jay was standing at your doorstep with a wide smile engulfing you into a tight hug as he broke the news of his successful inheritance of his father’s company.

Choosing to celebrate this achievement for him even when he said a dinner with you would be more than enough—You wanted to give him more. You weren’t sure the drive behind wanting to create this party for him, masking it with a want to shed light on his grand accomplishment.

Yet, the gnawing at your stomach as your eyes scanned across the room only grew larger.

Jay smiled ear to ear as he accepted the countless praises, congratulations, and shaking hands that were offered to him. His cheeks hurt from how much he’s been smiling but it didn’t stop him from shifting his eyes to the side to see you standing with a kind smile. Regardless how many times he’s seen it, he feels like when he first met you.

This is it. Everything he’s longed for has come to life after waiting and dreaming for.

When his father clinked his glass with a fork to garner everyone’s attention, he looked away just for a second with knitted brows but his smile never left him. “Wonder what he’s going to say-“ He started to whisper expecting to see you next to him but instead found you gone

Moving his head back to scan around the room to find you but stopped his actions when his names were called out with a gleeful tone.

“Jay. Jongseong. My eldest son” His father raised his glass to him, “Even if you struggled along the way, it makes me proud of the man you have become”

“That you finally found your righteousness in the world—-where you’re meant to be. Stand for what sticks, not for what falls” Jay pressed his lips into a thin line as he awkwardly raised his glass to his father’s words

“But I have a surprise for you” His father looked around to everyone in the room, a deep laugh joining in his words, “Joining us after so long, finally deciding to show up today. Just unable to miss out on this wonderful day”

“Pleased to say my other son—Jongseong’s twin will like to say a few words after being gone for some time” His father introduced and the room fell silent

After moving to grab a camera to capture the supposed sweet moment, the artifact nearly slipped through when your eyes zeroed in and as if everything around you faded to dust and slowed down towards the walking male onto the stage.

Sunghoon looked different from the last time you saw him.

His hair swooped to the side, framing the shape of his forehead but leaving enough room to show it, his sharp eyes crinkled in the light as his jaw screwed shut managing to make it seem sharper than before, his cheekbones rising slightly hollow and high. The sleek black suit clinging to his body perfectly, outlining the now grown muscles.

The sharp eyes scanned across the room until they found yours. Remaining focused on you for a second longer, he turned away showcasing the smile you haven’t seen in a while—a sinister twist to it making your blood run cold.

“Bravo. May I just say bravo” Sunghoon raised the glass in hand, “A toast to my brother” His mellow voice called out loud enough for everyone’s attention to draw to the unexpected guest

“From your brother who’s always by your side”

Jay, unable to move from the spotlight shone on him by Sunghoon. Having to remain still and collected as all eyes were on them, his frantic eyes searched the crowd to see where he lost you before he looked back to Sunghoon whose grin grew larger.

“I am beyond impressed with what you have accomplished. There was always talks of who would take over of what but I’m glad that each of us gained something through the sacrifices of others”

“Hopefully you are able to cherish what others have done to make sure you reached this point in your life. A life where you may have regrets that only shape you further into whatever path you wish to follow”

“May you always satisfied Jongseong” Sunghoon raised his glass high looking around the crowded room as everyone mimicked the process

Your eyes burned from unblinking, afraid that if you did, he would disappear right before you. Sunghoon brought the glass to his lips, drinking in the bitter liquor to his tongue but as he threw his head back, his eyes never once moved from yours.

The glass coming into view provided the perfect coverage of his growing smirk.

Jay chose flight in the fight or flight mode he was in once he realized where his brother’s eyes were on. A rage filled in him and his body moved on its own but he halted when someone lightly tapped his shoulder.

Sorin smiled warmly at him as she softly called out his name and embraced him into a hug he didn't reciprocate, “Congratulations Jay!” Her voice pitched higher after finally be able to reconcile in person after so long

As rude as it may have sounded in his mind, he could care less of Sorin’s presence because she wasn’t you.

He tried to move his body in order to find you only to see the path clearing up where you stood watching Sunghoon approaching you, a sly smirk on his face once he was in front of you.

You stared at him in disbelief. Your heart churned in itself as your eyes raked over him—taking in his appearance and how you thought nothing changed while everything did in fact change. “W-What…” Your voice trailed off

He lightly chuckled, different from what you used to hear, it didn’t reach his eyes or show the row of teeth with the sharp ones peeking out. It was a polite and polished smile.

Swirling the empty glass at hand as he tilted his head, “Didn’t think I would miss out on my own twin brother’s celebration party did you?”

“What are you actually doing here Sunghoon?” Your voice dropped and his smirked rose as he lifted his hands up, placing the now empty glass on a passing tray

“You’ve out done yourself” He dejected the subjected as he looked around to the bustling party, “I can tell you made this party”

“Jay wouldn’t have made this much effort to celebrate his own success or would our dad do something small like this… This is Jongseong we’re talking about, the success that was always meant to be followed”

Your eyes glared at him. Unsure of the raging emotion binding up was for him showing up after being away for months or if the flutter in your heart was something else.

Attempting to walk away in search of Jay, Sunghoon’s hands grasped your shoulders. You silently hissed at the familiar feel resting on your skin, however uncontrollably your body melted into the contrasting warmth and cold touch on your skin.

Sunghoon’s lips tugged upwards as he stood behind you, his gold feather-like but still demanding of holding you in place. His thumb traces circles, “Guess some old-habits don’t die” He softly chuckled

Guiding you from where you stood to the perfect sight of where Jay interacted with someone you’re sure you didn’t invite. A frown grew on your face and he watched every twitch of your expression change.

Sorin places a hand at Jay’s arm with a fond smile on her face, eyes sparkling brightly as he gives a chuckle as he speaks, making her erupt into a fit of giggles—all while inching closer to him.

Your chin is lifted away and turned to look back at Sunghoon softly shaking his head, his lips smacking against his teeth, “Now I am positive… Old habits never die”

His words were more menacing and heavier than what they meant on the surface. Your stomach felt weird as you looked at him with wide eyes, he softly stroked your cheek, his gaze flickering to Jay and Sorin—seeing him pry her hand off his.

But what you didn’t know wouldn’t kill you.

Jay peers around the room and finally stumbles upon you and Sunghoon. He saw the way he held you, his chest pressing so close to your back as he held your chin. Jay fists grew tighter at his side as he tried to excuse him, but Sorin wouldn’t let him go just like that after so long.

“Do you hate him?” The fingers gripped deeper into your shoulders as the hold on your chin became tighter but still managing to pull your head to face him on your own

He could see the whirling in your mind from his words because why in the world would you hate Jay in the first place?

“Or is it me that you hate? Do you resent me? Fucking loath me for what I’ve done?”

You roughly push his digging fingers away, turning your body around with a muffled strain. His eyes flickered behind you and he engulfed your hands into his, your body melting away all tension immediately as your hand fell into his.

His smirk changed into a smile—the one you knew of, the one you used to receive.

He brought your hand up to his lips, softly grazing it with planting a soft kiss on top of it, “Talk to you soon… Princess” Hearing the weared out nickname again made your heart jump before falling into the pit of your stomach

Softly bringing your hand back to your side, he nodded his head walking away to disappear into the sea of people without another word but your eyes never left his fading figure once.

Suddenly, a hand on your shoulder spun you around. Jay’s worried face lightened up finally having you back with him, he cupped your jaw, turning it around as his lips shivered, “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you right?”

You couldn’t even respond before he wrapped a hand around your wrist and dragged you towards the exit—the party already ending in his mind.

Unable to wrap your head to comprehend seeing Sunghoon in so long that you aimlessly followed. A foot followed after another as you reached closer to the exit. Still, turning your head and there you saw Sunghoon staring right at you, unmoving of the position you left him in.

The girl you had seen talking to Jay suddenly reappeared besides Sunghoon, shifting her eyes onto you and Jay’s fading figure. She mumbled something which he dismissed, Sunghoon remained his line of sight on your terror-filled face.

Even if you turned from Sunghoon all to turned behind, peering over your shoulder to see him. He smirked, stuffing his hand in his pockets as he watched you and Jay disappear.

Sunghoon remained lingering in your mind, regardless of the time passed and attempting to forget who tainted you. He will forever haunt you. He was always there in the back of your mind.

ᥫ᭡.

Watching the buildings passing through the window, the lights embedding in and lighting up the night with hope, dreams, happiness.

With any chance he gets, Jay looks over to you at every red light and anticipates something—anything from you. To his disappointment or fear still unsure of what it is, you remain silent with a turned away head focusing on the outside.

It was like that for the rest of the car ride until he parked in front of your place. Shifting the gear into park, he let out a silent sigh as he stared at the steering wheel. Fingers danced against it and he was going to step out of his car to open your door but stopped when you spoke, “Did you know?”

He whipped his head towards you in bewilderment, “Of course not. I didn’t know he was going to show up. I haven’t heard a single thing from him or about him ever since he left that night”

Your hands balled on your lap as you focused on the creasing on them. Holding back on your tongue, you lightly shook your head, “Then how did he know to show up? I made the party for you”

“My dad must’ve told him- I don’t know! But I swear I wasn’t the one that did” His hand reached out to hover your cheek, “Please baby-“

You swatted his hand away, turning to the door before pulling at the handle and letting yourself out. Jay watched in disbelief in the sweat you once sat in.

Quickly, he rushed out and slammed the door behind him chasing after you with soft calls of your name. It wasn’t until he pulled at your arm to turn you around once you were at your front door, “Please listen to me!”

“Don’t start, please” You softly pulled from his grip, “I can’t do this- Not right now”

“What is there to deal with? So he shows up and that’s it?”

“Who was she Jay, the one you were talking to after his speech, who was she?” He stays silent, his mouth opening and closing trying to form the proper sentence that didn’t expose much but also eased you

“She’s just an old friend” Through his words you knew there was more than just that and it shattered your heart, another vague coverup from the truth

You sighed before jamming your keys into your lock and twisted the doorknob. Shuffling behind you, Jay stood beside his breathing heavy and you could feel his eyes pouring into you

Roughly closing your eyes, you chuckled softly before shaking your head, “Not today Jay”

“So you’re just going to give up? When we were doing good? It’s all gone because he finally shows up?” He softly grasped at your arm to pull away from the doorknob

“Jay please-”

“No I’m sorry but we have to talk about this. We can’t just fall apart like that all because he decides to come back and ruin everything”

His mind filled with thoughts that he grew a headache, “You-You can’t go back to him. You just can’t!”

“Who said anything about going back to-”

“You can’t have the both of us!” Jay voices grew louder with each syllable and something shifted in your mind, he could tell in the way your eyes narrowed and a scowl formed in your face

A flash glistened over your eyes, your mouth tugging into a frown,"I never wanted both” Your voice never raised louder than how you were speaking, he understood your words perfectly, it’s the first coherent thing he’s ever heard

You opened your mouth to follow up but you closed your mouth to push open your door before closing it behind with no second glances back at him. You let out a shudder of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

Jay stays outside of your door, his hand hovered over ready to knock but he stops midway as he drops his arm to his side. His shoulder slouched as he looked at the closed door.

His jaw clenched before fishing out his phone from his pocket, dialing the number after opening the contact and bringing his phone to press against his ear as he walked back to his car.

Taking one last glance to your place until stepping into his car when the phone line pinged.

“Jay?”

“What are you playing at Sorin?”

ꨄ︎

Go for what you want. Looking at the sticky note attached to your mirror, you caught a glimpse of your glooming self.

Your fingers traced over the sticky note, humming softly at the end seeing the small signature at the corner signaling Sunghoon's unerasable presence. The phone in hand pushed further into your palm as your grip grew tighter. Your jaw clenched before bringing your phone to your ear after one click.

Your palms felt sweaty and your heart hammered out of your chest while anticipation settles in until the first ring rushes out your speaker. Quickly pulling your phone away to hang up the call, you looked at your screen with heavy pants.

Sunghoon’s contact came back into frame as you felt a shiver run up your spine in realization.

While, the moment Sunghoon received the call he couldn’t help but laugh, noticing the abrupt end of it before he could even answer. His lips landed into an undeniable pout at the thought He knew you only needed one ring to know but he still wished you gave him the chance to answer.

His hand landed on both his hands reaching over to open the chat he’s refused to look at for months but the slam of the door stopped him. He looked up but utterly gasped when he saw a fist swinging his way.

Barely being able to miss the punch, he turned around to stumble over his feet with haste only to see Jay heaving in anger.

“You’re a monster Sunghoon”

He laughed when the words left his twin brother’s mouth, a genuine stomach laugh rumbling from deep within his stomach all while he straightened out his folded upright, he knitted his eyebrows together with a smile creeping on his face.

He used to believe he was no monster, simply existenting with the fact of being overlooked by the Jay shaped shadow that haunted his life, that he wanted to escape from but things have changed.

Time apart from you made him quickly realize he was no good person from the moment he decided to chase after you. He comes to accept that he’s been a monster from the very start.

“And you’re some saint?” He snorted, “A god that she’s supposed to look up to for salvation?”

“Give me a break Jay”

“Does it not mean anything to you?!” Jay yelled, shaking Sunghoon’s collar in a rough manner once his hands clasped at it, “Leave us alone! Why can’t you just let her be?” Jay’s voice fell lowers earning a scoff from his brother

Sunghoon laughed, throwing his head back, the chuckle rumbling his chest in a warm manner making his cheeks hurt from how much he was laughing. “Let her be? She will never be free if she’s with you” He emphasized the end of his sentence

“Don’t you realize that you’re like some parasite between us? Always taking and taking what isn’t yours”

Jay’s hand loosened around Sunghoon’s shirt staring at his brother wide eyed, “She never needed saving from me but now with you in your life, I think she can finally realize she needs saving from you”

“You’re the one that needs to realize what you’re doing. You’re making her succumb and confide in you for the sake of what?”

Sunghoon tilted his head as he peered Jay off, “Love? True love?” He darkly laughed at his own words, “Please”

“Show some compassion Sunghoon” Jay’s word were heavy on his tongue but he could feel the glare his brother gave him

“Because you showed me compassion?” Sunghoon gripped Jay’s wrist and pushed him off, scoffing at the antics his brother was throwing

“You don’t get to have her Jay” He roughly shook his head, “You don’t get it through that thick skull of yours that you can’t have her”

Jay scoffed, his finger reaching to push against his chest, “That makes you a hypocrite you know”

He could feel the question gaze Sunghoon sent him but Jay only smirked before retreating his hand away, “Because if she can’t be with me? What makes you so worthy of being with her?”

“You don’t get to want her Sunghoon” Jay laughed blissfully unaware of the glint shimmering over his brother’s eyes once he heard the follow up words, ”She was never yours to begin with”

And how sure of that, are you Jongseong?

・・・・・

There was a knock at your door that stumped you in your tracks. Eyebrows creased in the middle releasing it almost instantly as you shook your head, choosing to walk over to your front door before hastily unlocking and opening it.

“Jay I thought we agreed on space” Your sighed but stopped once you realized, you had mistaken it for the wrong brother

Your body stunned at the sight of Sunghoon looking around until the sounds of his brother’s name came from your mouth, “Wrong brother, try again” He heartily joked and you felt the twist inside of you

“I- What are you doing here?” You asked, the grip on your door tighter as he watched how you didn’t laugh as his poor joke

“I don’t mean to intrude. I just figured after we met at the party after not seeing each other for months, I just thought it was appropriate to finally return your stuff back” He smiled showing the rows of teeth but looking over at him and he empty handed

“Can I come in?” And instead of waiting for a response, he just maneuvered his way past and into your place without another word uttered

You blinked harshly, unable to get a word out, closing the door behind him as your feet moved quickly to trail after him.

“I don’t remember leaving- You aren’t holding anything” You pointed out noticing the lack of bulked items at hand but he only looked around your place with glassy eyes

“Nothing has changed” He muttered under his breath more for himself but you managed to hear him loud and clear

“Sunghoon” You sternly called out his name and instead of responding his back turned around and you were greeted with his sweet smile as his hand extended out and grazed across your wall

“How are you?” The simple question felt more than just curiosity

You softly gulped unmoving your eyes from him, “Good” Choosing only to respond with nothing more than just one syllable, even if it may not be a direct reflection of you right now

“Really?” Sunghoon’s voice was soft, “Ahh” He faintly scoffed, “Why does it annoy me so much to hear that you’re doing okay”

Your mouth fell open as you glanced around his face—searching for a sign of unfaithfulness in his words but they were genuine. Sunghoon’s words were raw and true mimicking the tone of voice.

“You know I tried to forget about you, I really did” He looked to your floor as if they were the more interesting item in your place even though he knew that you stand right in front of him—where he actually wanted to look

“It was pointless obviously”

“And how do you know that?” Your reply made him breath through his nose

”Because I wouldn’t be standing here right now if I was. Plus how could I forget you? You haunt me every waking moment”

“I can’t forget you no matter how hard I try. Scrubbed at my skin during every shower trying to get your touch off my skin after practically living in the gym with hopes of burning you out of me” Sunghoon sucked in a breath as his voice grew more agitated

“But as I lay awake at night no matter where I am, I dream about you. You were always there. Your eyes, smile, laughter, your terrible attempted jokes, everything that was connected to you was burned into my mind—forced to accustom to the lack of you even though I had you”

“Because we were together-“

You stepped in and interrupted, “No we weren’t Sunghoon” Your voice defeated, “It-It was fake- What we were was just some joke”

He shook his head violently, “No. It wasn’t a joke. It was real” Sunghoon cut you off before taking a step towards you, “It was far too real for us to be just labeled as friends, tutors or acquaintances or whatever you want to call us”

“We were real” His tone snappy and sharp that pierced your skin into your heart, “I took a step back- I let you mess around with Jongseong for a while so that you can feel comfortable without my presence there because I wanted you to realize”

“And realize what exactly”

“That I don’t need you anymore? That for once in my life I could be desired without ulterior motives?” The words growing heavier on your tongue as it weighed your heart down, “Do you even regret what you did? Did you have fun making me out as some kind of fool”

Your hand rose up to harshly rub your head, “I find it very hard to believe that you ever cared about me. Did you even love-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence” His voice dropped to a lower register cutting you off as he glared at you causing you to laugh at him

“Why not? Because it hurts to face the truth? You were so stuck up on focusing on something that never meant to involve me and yet, you dragged me dead center into your petty feud”

“That’s what you think this is? That I’m still trying to get back at him?” He knitted his brows to crease in the middle. He shook his head with the smile that twisted your heart, “No princess… I moved on from that”

You glared at him with a loud scoff before shaking your head. “If you just came here to pester my life and not return anything, get out” You turned a heel unwavering in your steps, trying to maintain your peace from slipping

“Can I use your bathroom before I go then?” His voice returned to the soft tone stopping you in your step

Slowly peeking over your shoulder, you saw him standing there, the glossiness of his eyes grown from what they were in the beginning. There was a moment of silence where neither of you said anything. His body shivered with anticipation at your words.

“You know where it is” You responded before turning back and walking past him to somewhere in your place

His eyes watched your moving figure until it disappeared from sigh around the corner, Moving the plush of his lips around for a second before retreating down the hall where your bedroom and bathroom lay.

You stared at nothing as the headache grew by the second. Fluttering your eyes closed as you took heavy breaths to regulate yourself to at least a somewhat regular pace.

Shivering at the thought of Sunghoon’s face back in your head even when you tried to push him, he returned.

Like a moth to a flame. Which one was who was still unclear.

You weren’t sure of how much time actually passed but it felt like an eternity ever since he went to the bathroom. Opening your eyes, your vision splotchy for a moment as you tried to get accustomed to the light.

Blinking harshly, you turn your body around in search of Sunghoon however, the moment you reach where the bathroom door was supposed to be locked—It was wide open with no signs of him ever in there. You whipped your head around until you saw your bedroom door ajar slightly.

Your feet moving faster than you could register, you burst through into your room, eyes quickly rummaged through until it spotted Sunghoon right in front of your mirror. His finger is tracing over the sticky note you’ve refused to take down for some reason.

His eyes looked through the mirror to see you staring wide-eyed at him. “You never got rid of it” Your body was rigid when he turned around and looked at you with a different look in his eyes

Knowing he was waiting for a response, you frowned, “I thought you were going to the bathroom and then leaving”

The corner of his lip rose up so slightly that if you weren’t paying attention, you would’ve missed it. He didn’t respond to your statement like how you didn’t respond to his, his eyes raked over you before catching your eyes with his.

You gulped down your hammering heart, “Don’t look at me with those eyes”

“What eyes?” Sunghoon softly replied, the same look in bjs eyes unwavering

You stayed silent breaking the eye contact for what it was, shutting them tightly attempting to rid the vision of his eyes that looked past and into your soul, able and more than willing to read those thoughts you would never voice out.

“Those eyes” He hummed at you, tilting his head to the side

His hum was loud when it rumbled out of him, you held your breath softly shifting your gaze from the floor to him. He stood closer to you, his face near inches away from your with a slight frown tugging on his face, “I mean you are fucking my brother…” Your eyes moved in between his, “I think I get to feel a little bit of resentment”

You swallowed down the forming lodge in your throat, “Do you?”

He stayed silent for a moment, his breath fanning over yours as he stared deeply into your eyes, searching and finding the thoughts he knew were reserved for only him, “No”

Your eyes softened in response to his words, your shaky breath released as you could feel his head leaning in closer. You tried to pull yourself away—to rid yourself from falling into him wishing to be strong, after all preparation to see him again.

Yet, his arm wrapped at your waist and all rationality bolted out the window, "You want to be mine" It was a statement rather than a question that you didn’t try to oppose

"You've always wanted to be mine, haven't you?” It went through your ear and stayed in your mind, your hands squished in between your bodies weakly holding at his collar as he grew closer, "Don’t worry because with no doubt in my mind you were mine"

Sunghooon’s lips hovered over your now, "You belong with me princess" Those were the last words he said before engulfing your lips with his

His heart nearly hammered out of his chest as his body instinctively melted into it. Forced to go so long without you was torture—having to know that Jay had you the way he used to.

Moving in harmony, your hands gripped tighter at his collar. Cliche as it may sound in your mind, the once roaring raging head finally went silent. Sunghoon’s hand grabbed at your shaky ones, prying your hand to let go and once he felt you loosen your hold, he wrapped them around his neck before holding your waist again.

He felt how your body pressed into his, how your hands consciously tangled into his hair groaning at the rakes of it slotting through the crevice in between each finger, your nails scratching softly at his head like how you knew he liked it.

His body pushed back, rendering you to the plush of the mattress having the sheets wrinkling at the new edition of the longing weight it’s missed. Placing eager kisses, he realizes he was no better than a smitten man.

“Do I want to know what you and him have done?” He darkly hummed against your neck, his tightening hand gripping at your waist, “Too focused to think about me because you were with him?”

”Ever lead him to this very bed just like how you did to me?” You eagerly shook your head no, your mouth opening to respond but choked up when he continued to speak, “Or were you always too busy thinking about me?” Freezing at the last question, he smirked at your reaction

The familiar plush of his lips gathered at your skin as he peckered at the unblemished skin, the emptiness nearly sank his heart—seeing what he has missed these past months, “You’re just as beautiful as the day I left you”

Your hazy mind cleared instantly as eyes shot up to see him already looking back. Lips parting softly, letting out the shiver before leaning in to meet halfway of his leaning figure.

A hum rubbles out as you swallow it into your mouth. The gripping hand at your waist loosened before rubbing up and down your side as he engulfed your mind with him. Instead of a strong and needful kiss, it was endearing and in fact loving.

Squishing your hands in between your bodies, you cup at his jaw, tracing over the outline of it. The soft grumbles got lost in the silence as he rested his arms at each side of your head, lightly acknowledging on how you shifted, your legs prying open on their own to invite him to slot in between.

However, he pulled away with a shake of his head. Eyes fluttering open to see the deep stare into one another. “No…” Breathlessly he spoke gulping down the air that filled his lungs, “Show me that you want me”

”Prove that it’s always been me” He pleaded, true undertone now fully blaring into your ears creeping into your mind until you focused and registered

Your heart hammered at your chest that you were sure he could hear it as a faint smirk ghosted his face. Instead of properly responding, your body moved on its own.

Actions speaking louder than any word that could be uttered.

Grasping his shoulders before landing him onto his back, the soft pillowing holding his head, lifting yourself off to the side, he watched you. The shaky hands grabbing to his pants, your eyes looking at him for permission. “Go on” He nodded at you

Without having to be told twice, your hands traced over his belt, the touch of the frame metal before unbuckling it, eyes remaining trained at the unbuttoned trousers while your hands slid down the zipper. Prying open the material, seeing his boxers peeking out but shifted on how his hips lifted to help drag down his pants.

Pulling down the material watching him kick it somewhere to your floor as you mimicked his actions. Your hands worked with yours until you pulled off your own pants, letting them land wherever they did on the floor as well. His hands reached out for you, tugging you towards him.

Allowing your body to be guided, you straddled his lap focusing on the roaming hands on you that pulled you intoxicatingly into a mist that surrounded the two of you until he grabbed your nape and pulled your head down.

A hand on your hips while the other allowed it’s finger to trace circle on your neck, enjoying the way you tilted your head to deepened to kiss further, “I’ve missed you” He weakly mutters in between kisses

“I know… I did too” You hummed, your hips rocking with the help of his hand

Groaning softly at the friction. The sensation of your clothed core rubbing against his hard on made him dizzy. The only thing that stopped him from entering you was the thin fabric of your undergarments. Your head landed in the crook of his neck, the crevice in between, allowing you to messily press your lips on. “Never asked how you were” You mumbled against his skin

Too engrossed in the way, the damp forming not only in his but on your underwear was nearly unbearable to ignore. Bottom lip jutted out, enjoying the long strides you took rubbing yourself on him, “How were you Hoonie?”

The mention of the name he hasn’t heard of washed any initial thought away as he tilted his head to the side just enough. Your pulled away head now looked at him with glistening eyes. He was sure he copied your look—possibly looked even worse than how you did.

Instead of shying away, he smiled softly. “I think you can imagine I was. You already heard only a quarter of what I was doing without you”

“But you cleaned up nicely…”

“I had to. I was seeing you again after all this time” The words struck the string that held your heart up

And still, it was pointless when another planted drag of a kiss was planted. Your eyes fluttering close instantly as the rock of your lower body restarted with a feverish motive.

“I need to feel you princess- I can’t go on like this anymore” The pitiful way he sounded as you determined the beginning, “Need you to prove your words, just how much did you miss me?”

With an unexpected haste, lifting your hips just enough for his fingers to wrap around the side of your parties, “Please Hoonie” You slowly murmur as he dragged them, your glistening entrance coming back into his view

The slinging of them hanging from your leg before you fully peeled them off, Sunghoon’s eyes remained trained of the flesh he had been denied for months, patiently waiting for the day until you found your way back to him.

You palmed through the evident erection building up to his full size as his head leaned back, forgetting the way your hands felt on him. “Don’t be a tease either” Tone low like a growl being held back

You giggled at it, having your hands grip at his boxers tugging at the fabric until he began to separate from his body, the imprint of his length clinging onto the material waiting to spring out. In all its glory, his leaking self slapped against his body was a splat.

Crinkling your face for a second while a smile formed on it, pulling away at the material until you allowed his feet to kick them off.

Seeing him like this again made your chest tighten before hallowing into itself. The months leading up to this moment didn’t compare to the lifetime you bore without him in but even still, you leaned in molding your mouth onto his without a word.

Sunghoon easily accepted his kiss, the dip of your bed shifting as he could feel the heat radiating off your body and hovering over him. His eyes screwed tighter together, not allowing himself to wake from this dream.

However, the contact of you landing on him, he hisses against your lips as you let go of them with a shaky breath. The soak essentially seeped on his own length, covering himself with your essence. But, it wasn’t enough—it would never be enough.

His hand threaded down, grabbing the base of his cock before aligning it with your entrance by the time you sank down to rub down, the tip of it teased in making you clench and hiss at the intrusion. “Shit” He called out as he eased into your warmth

“I’ve missed you so much” He gritted through his teeth, relishing in the way your walls spasmed taking in the inches he was putting into you, “You don’t have any idea”

You weakly shook your head, your body toppling over his as your arms snaked near his head, “Yo-you don’t have any idea” Rebutting his statement—deeming it untrue only caused his heart to flutter harsher in his chest

The palpitations grew worse once he bottomed out. You shivered on top of him as his hand glided on your back, “Doing so good for me princess, I’m right here with you”

How could you deny it? Well easy, you couldn’t.

Your body faltered in a rock focusing on how he stretched you out, how easily he slipped into you like no time had passed. Sunghoon murmured into the shell of your ear causing the goosebumps to rise, “Fuck yourself on me baby”

Your eyes clamped down moving your hips with a little more force, you bit your lips to hold back the noise daring to sleep but Sunghoon’s nails gripped at your skin, “Don’t deprive me- Let me hear you” He groaned at how you clenched accepting him

“Good girl” His whispered into your ear as he planted wet kisses onto the side of your face, his arms wrapping around you as his body and yours melt into one

Moving your head to land his lips onto yours as you continued to push his length out of you before pulling it back in with the suck of your cunt, fluids slipping from your mouth as you messily kissed at each other. Mouth hanging open taking in the breaths poured into each other’s before reconnecting together.

Pulling at your bottom lip, he remained still under you while you moved your body up and down his erection, memorizing his tip pressing and poking at your insides, the past burn reviving from the depths of your brain where it was stored away, “Sucking me so good. Like you’ve been waiting for this” He chuckled in between breaths

You nodded your head at the words, “I have” You brokenly whined out

“Were you saving yourself for me? Until I came back to you and gave you what you wanted, mhm?” You could feel the smirk radiating off of him making you bury your head into the space between his neck and shoulder

“Knew that I was the only one that could give you what you wanted” The rumbled of his words laid heavy on your heart, “Keep going for me” His hands grabbed at your lower half, squishing the flesh in his hand, helping your weakened movements

You lifted your head up, resting your forehead with his as you weakly chuckled. Eyes bored into each other, reflecting the same depth and glint that could never be replaced or fizzled out regardless of the time passed. The base of your ass meeting his pelvis with growing harder thrust had you squealing, but he continued to fuck up into you.

Body shaking with thrust he sent, he was set on perfecting the mold of him inside of you—yet, it didn’t take much effort. You had already done that for him.

“Hoonie” You called out for him as he found a pace that pistoned himself deeper into you, loving how you shaped around the stretch he provided

Each thrust was calculated and thought through. Focusing how to press deeper into the warmth you provided. Dragging himself leaving his tip at the clenching hole making you wail a broken whine before gasping when he slammed back in. You tried to match the pace on your own however, Sunghoon ran a hand over your back.

“I got you princess. Let me take care of you” He hummed into the shell of your ear and without being told again you let your body rest onto his front

His fingers digging into the flesh of your bum, spreading it to the side focusing on the slipping of his cock inside of you. His grunts grow louder at the sound of obscenity filling your room—an emotion taking over him.

Clouded judgment, solemnly focusing on your clenching self, his tips peeking into your cervix that made you moan directly into his ear as he repeatedly hit at it. The grind of your body rocking with his as your swollen bud jumped at the edge, with the delicate ramming inside of you, fingers dug into his shoulder.

“I’m going to-” Sunghoon immediately hushed in your ear holding you closer to him

“Let go for me baby… Come for me”

Simple words leading to your body responding, your hole clenching harder around his shaft that his movements faltered from the previous calculations. Focusing at how your breathlessly moans and shivers landed for his ear to hear, unable to let you go, his arm flushed you even more into him if possible.

Low groans filling your ears as his thrust became sloppy, the fluid leaking out of your soaping entrance coating him over with it, nearly causing him to slip out before he eased back into the confinement you provided for him

“Kiss me” The feel of his hand softly trailing at your neck, feeling the bareness of it making a frown plaster onto his face, “Kiss me right now” He pulled your head up to face him

Tears brimmed over your eyes, rimming around daring to spill but not wanting to test him any further. Holding back what has been bubbling within you, all frustration pouring out. You smashed your lips onto his.

His working body continued as he pressed at your head to flushes your lips even harder onto his. Your eyes screwed shut, the brinks of your tears falling onto his cheek and glided down to his chin but he gulped down every noise you made.

Holding tightly onto him as weakly breathed through your nose until you sucked in a shiver as your body jolted up with the harsh slow thrust. Sunghoon could feel your walls tightening around him as he parted for you to hear your muffled moans loud and clear.

Resting your forehead harshly onto his as you pant with the occasional hissed when the slowed down picked up in slight pressure before one final press deep inside of you as he stilled his movements and the warmth engulfed your insides, painting them white of you.

The feel of his cum seeping into your velvet walls as he remained in you. Your body instinctively gripping him to suck in any and all that seeped out of him. His low groans mix with your breathless pants as the two collect air to fill your lungs. The moment was short lived as you bursted into a fit of pitiful giggles as he followed in tail with your actions.

”Such a good girl for taking everything”

“I hate you” You shook your head at the tease but your tone was light and feathery as you adjusted yourself quietly mumbling more under your breath which didn’t go unnoticed by him

As you shifted in place, weakly laying on his chest as you felt your body melt down into his as he hugged you, his head rested on top of yours. The soft rubs over your arms as he holds your shivering body. Remaining having his cock buried in you, plugging his cum from seeping out, he smiled—a real genuine smile. “I’m sure you do”

“But I could never hate you” You closed your eyes with a heavy pant listening to his words

“Never?” You meek out feeling the shake of his head from you but to his displeasure he heard you heavily sigh, feeling you rub your cheek against his body

Unaware to him a tug of your lips pulled it towards, “Are you mad- I mean were you ever mad at me?”

The question hung in the air for a moment, the only thing filling your room being the soft breaths leaving you. Your ear pressed against his chest that you could hear the rapid pulse beating faster. Worried seemed to gnaw at your stomach as your eyes frantically moved around and just as you were going to push yourself up from him.

Sunghoon stopped you before you could, his chin digging on top of your head as his grip around you tightened. The pump of his heart filled your ear again as you could hear the vibration of his voice coming out

“Never. You’re my girl”

Your face immediately responds as you smile softly, a breath you didn’t know you were holding let out. Aware that Sunghoon could feel the harsh thump beating out of your chest but you didn’t care.

You hum in response, not any more words necessarily for the moment. Your mind and body clicking into the fog of your head the tiredness evident in your voice as he softly chuckled, the burn of his finger tips scarcely touching your skin leaving fire in its wake as he pressed a kiss onto your head

“You can rest now… I’m not leaving your side ever again”

ᥫ᭡.

The soft chirps of the birds muffled from the outside, the blinding lights shining in as you and Sunghoon face each other with a warm smile. He leaned forward but you jerked away before he could land his kiss.

His dark chuckled made your own smile grow, but he smiled inching closer to you before blowing air against your neck. You jerked away and scowled as you tried to swat him away but stopped when he placed a soft peck on your skin, “I’m going to shower, care to join me?”

“And waste my water? You’re funny” You laughed before shaking your head

He smirked before running a hand over your arm, the glint of his eyes never leaving as he looked at you, “I’ll behave”

“You promise?” You looked at him in the corner of your eyes with a raised brow

Now here with Sunghoon, no thoughts were in your head besides who was in front of you. You’ve decided, long ago—from the very beginning. Stepping a foot closer to Sunghoon, your hand pushing his opening arms as you landed straight into his arms wrapping around you as you placed your lips on his.

He sheepishly smirked, “I promise to be quick” Swiftly after his light words, he let go of you before disappearing into the hall

You bit back a smile as you watched his fading figure away. Your fingers ran over your lip before your smile grew brighter, reaching your eyes.

There was a point, a line that blurred what you and Sunghoon were. Yet, you were far past the line of the beginning, middle of what this was. No longer looking back, dwelling on things out of your control, you’ve chosen, finalizing your decision—disregarding what is considered right or wrong.

Wondering why you should wait any longer before making you and Sunghoon one—they way you knew it meant to be. You were beyond the point of return.

Biting back the growing smile, you were going to move back to your room to wait for his return but stopped upon hearing a glide of paper. The sound of water running from your shower nearly drowned it out before you could notice it. You turned around to see an envelope laying on the floor.

Brows furrowed as you stepped towards and softly picked up the unaddressed envelope. Your lips tugged down, turning it around and ripping the seal before picking out the folded paper within. Your eyes immediately skimmed through the handwritten letter before properly reading it

‘to my dearest,

You were the first (only) person I have felt ever something like this for. Of course, I know how I did everything wrong but I wanted you to Understand what I was doing after all this waiting and wondering.

But I know it doesn’t make myself look any better but love is just Elegant, warm and almost as beautiful as you. it should come from Longing—yearning, that’s what love is-true love. I wanted to be the One to show you that but instead I made it worse. I know that now Nothing in this damn world can show even the sliver of just how Grateful I am for even being given the chance to prove myself to you.

While it seems like you might have made your choice, please consider It to your best interest to take a step back and look at everything. from The very beginning to now—to evaluate everything and move past. Heaven knows I won't give up, not when I know what it’s like.

More than ever, I finally realize what I want in my life and through Everything I don't regret anything in the slightest. I would do it again.

String me along, break my heart if you want. it’s always been yours to Enjoy and destroy. you’ll forever be smeared in my soul and i know Everything we’ve been through, part of you saw what it be like.

You realized love doesn’t have to be what you experienced it as, Occasionally yes it can be diabolical but it doesn’t always mean Undergoing the terror lies, we can make it however you want it.

Sometimes looking back on us I wonder if I was just crazy for thinking Of there being something between us but given the chance to Observe and see everything between us I know there was more. Never in a billion years would I want to give you false hope.

Believe me, I would do anything in this world to prove that you. Anyone can go against me and say otherwise but I know it that it Begs for the thrill of being even near you. Not sure of the pure Yearning it has because now I am forever ruined by you.

sincerely yours,

p.js

p.s- reread the letter and look at the first letter of each line’

The P followed by the J and lastly the S. Park Jongseong. As your eyes followed through the last sentence written, nitpicking every sentence and the first letter they had.

Your eyes grew wider each second as all being felt personally sucked and drained out when you looked back to read the postscript written at the bottom of the paper–followed by a heavy shaky breath as three words stood out more than anything in the letter.

‘See you soon’

——

You belong to me (previous) — Wicked games (next)

taglist: @woniefull @notevenheretbh1 @matchaeyun @definitelynotherr @wonnienyang @strxwbloody @adoredbyjay @haelahoops @love4hee @deobitifull @jayrelics @enhalxvr @roslayy @nshmrarki @jayhoonvroom @capri-cuntz @woorcve @hveanlyanqelic @nikiswifiee @m1m1-70 @bunnihhoon @lyxnneee @stormy1408 @shiningnono @enmino @jamaisunoo @femmefqtqle @jakeswifez @jaysfavoritegirl @kk-kitten @hii01mii @hoonwoibeb @babygirlskz98 @parksunghoonsgf @sthwaaberry @soobingf-blog @gnvi-eve @lol6sposts @juyjw @mrsjohnnysuh @niquesperfume @maliakealoha @ceoboom @immortalonie @gyarumindd @tmtxtf @sparklyrunawaytimetravel

[moonlight-prose]

origins logan, raw, passionate, in a truck, while it rains, a little wine drunk. Yeah. 😁

i have no clue if this is a request or just a thought, but i ran with what my mind thought up. but also cause i haven't written anything fully in two months so this is me practicing to get my voice back. enjoy the heinous mess.

warnings: 18+ only past this point.

You expected to freeze with the shitty little heater blowing air cold enough to raise bumps on your flesh. The overbearing echo of rain slamming against the rusted exterior of his worn in (near broken) truck. You expected to die of hypothermia. With the coroners report noting the time of death to be the second he opened that bottle of wine.

You expected a lot of things to go wrong.

That's how you managed to survive this long. In a world so hellbent on destruction, you took the cynics way out and managed to save time on the ride. Things were fucked, hope somehow managed to become a commodity the wealthy could profit off of. And mutants were enemy number one without actually being hunted for fun.

So you took note of the way your breath hung in the air—the flavor of bitter cheap red wine like a pungent toxin that only sunk you deeper onto the silver claws of fate that promised protection. Even as they offered exposure to the elements. You watched as his eyelids grew heavy, his gaze fixed on the way your top gaped and fingers gripped onto the soft leather of his jacket.

You expected this to go wrong too.

That your words would fall on deaf ears, that you would fumble as he slid a hand between your denim clad thighs. How long would it take for him to jolt back to reality? To understand that you were far too much for him to handle as the world fell on his shoulders.

How long could you get away with feeling wanted, yearned for?

When your fingers clawed at the leather seats in the back, your mouth open and chapped from the cold, is when you stopped. Thoughts slipped past the inner psyche of despondent reality. Hope washed over your spit covered shoulders as he bit down on the plush skin with a grunt. Life appeared bright and hot and burned with something new the second he plunged into your sopping cunt.

"That's it," he muttered, lips catching the shell of your ear as his cock carved a new path in your once aching body. "Open up for me baby."

Your words escaped as a mewl. Eyes rolling back and nails digging new shapes into seats he'd have to fix.

He laughed at your mindless state of bliss. "Gone and made you dumb huh? Cleared out that pretty head of yours."

"L-Logan," you managed to grunt, hips slapping back to his quick timed thrusts that struck gold.

"'S okay." Another bite to your spine had your thighs shaking, the slap of his balls lewdly hitting your clit made sparks embed themselves into your soul. "I like ya better this way. You think too fuckin' much anyways. Gotta shut out the bad shit don't I?"

"I'm gonna-"

"Yeah I know you are," he bit out, fingers digging shapes of intent into the flesh of your hips.

You were aware of the truck rocking back and forth. Of the mist gathering on frozen windows and your moans swallowing the sound of rain. You could feel the tingle of red wine in the base of your stomach. The haze of its beauty clouding everything but him and the small confines of this hot car. You were aware of nothing going wrong, of his cock grinding wet and raw into you, of the pool of slick forming on the seat of his car.

Nothing bad existed in this sphere of bliss. Nothing horrid could happen.

Claws punctured the seat beside your head, his hips slapping fast enough to hurt as the tight coil of tension snapped hard enough to halt your heart.

"Fuck!" he roared, sinking into you deep enough to scrape something aching and lovely. His cock twitching hard with each spurt of cum—spilling out onto your mess on shitty brown leather.

Sucking in a breath felt easy, uncomplicated. Your mind drifted into blank thoughts and images of him. Into a state of bliss with Logan's name scratched on the walls.

You expected to freeze. To lose a limb or two from the air cold enough to kill. But then his body settled over yours, his hands cradling your stomach, face pressed into your back. And warmth became the only language you spoke.

[sai-int]

So, my favorite headcanon for Simon Riley is that he's an incredibly silly guy, but through trauma and shit, the only way he can express his silliness is subtly like with his shitty jokes and one liners.

All of this to say that I think he would have a great time mildly gaslighting his friends for pranks as well as occasionally doing something so out of character in a secluded area with the specific intention of getting caught, just so he can tell his victim that no one will believe them.

His most common victim is Johnny, and like Simon said, no one ever believes him.

THIS but it starts with johnny, then it spreads to the rest of the 141...

simon knows he’s the easiest target. the man is loud, expressive, reactive, which makes it so much worse when no one ever believes him. the gaslighting starts small. missing gear, things moving an inch to the left when johnny swears he just put them down, ghost walking into a room seconds after soap saw him leave it.

soap: "ye were just here-"

ghost: "no, i wasn’t."

soap: "ye-"

ghost: "y'sure y'sleepin' enough, sergeant?"

but then simon gets bored and starts pulling bigger stunts. like the time johnny walks into price's office looking for something and catches simon, full tac gear, standing on top of price’s desk, balancing on one foot, arms outstretched like he’s doing some kind of weird fucking yoga pose.

"steamin' jesus-what the fuck- the desk??"

simon just turns his head slowly to look at him, holds eye contact for a long moment, then-

"what desk?"

-before stepping down and leaving without another word.

johnny tries to tell price.

soap: "he was on yer desk-"

price: "uh-huh."

soap: "just stood there, like a fuckin' bird-"

price: "right."

soap: "ye dinnae believe me."

price: "not even a little."

ghost: "sounds like a you problem, mate."

next, it’s gaz. and simon takes an entirely different approach with him. gaz is logical, grounded, harder to mess with, but simon finds the perfect way.

he mirrors him.

gaz reaches for his coffee? simon reaches at the same time, like he was waiting for it.

gaz crosses his arms? simon crosses his arms, same angle, same stance, eyes locked dead on him.

gaz starts to say something? simon says the same thing moments later, like some kind of demonic mime act.

it gets so bad that one day, gaz just snaps.

gaz: "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

ghost: "dunno what you mean, mate."

but price? price takes the longest to crack.

because simon knows that man is unshakable. he knows it’ll take something subtle, something long-term.

so he starts misquoting things.

price: "all due respect, i've been running ops since before you were born-"

ghost: "no, yeah, i get it. 'live, laugh, love,' an' all that."

price: "…what."

or:

price: "we’re not outta the woods yet-"

ghost: "yeah, yeah. "an apple a day keeps the wolves in the henhouse."

price: "that’s- no. what? that’s not-"

it takes weeks. weeks of price catching simon slipping complete nonsense into casual conversation, weeks of simon saying it all with that flat, deadpan expression. weeks of price trying to correct him-

price: "that’s not how the saying goes."

ghost: "yeah it is."

price: "no, it’s not-"

ghost: "okay, boss."

-and never getting anywhere.

until finally, one day, price just exhales hard, pinches the bridge of his nose, and mutters,

price: "i fucking hate you."

ghost? just shrugs.

"s'all water under the fridge, cap."

[plaidcowboy]

taking care of 𓂃 rafe cameron while he’s spiraling

⟳⠀ a little inebriated rafe ⟳⠀after an argument with ward

⊹ you blinked into the open space of your room, slowly collecting your coherence as you listened to the voice over the phone. it took a second to realize you were hearing rafe mumbling, not sounding like himself. you quickly jolted up in bed at his quiet, but frantic words.

“i just don’t get why everything i do goes unnoticed.. unappreciated. i saved him. she didn’t do anything but run off and betray us. i got the cross. i killed that sheriff for him. me, rafe.. i don’t understand what happened with us..”

it broke your heart to hear his voice crack. you nursed your phone against your cheek, letting him get everything out. where was he? did his words sound partially slurred or was that your still half asleep mind? but you were so glad he called you in a moment this vulnerable. after months of being with rafe, he had a habit of keeping his feelings in and not letting you into his mind. despite this, you constantly told him you were always there if he needed an outlet.

you heard a dry chuckle across the line. “he even tried to blame you. my precious girl.. does he know how much i didn’t know i needed you? he can’t even begin to understand the love we share. he doesn’t have someone to take care of him like you do with me. he crossed the line when he mentioned you.. i just lost it..”

you placed a hand over your mouth, letting his words and current state settle in. you couldn’t let yourself get focused on ward’s thoughts of you. you knew he wasn’t a good man. you knew he didn’t deserve rafe’s respect. after months of knowing this, and knowing the fights he and rafe got into, never was it like this. this truly was breaking you.

you softly sniffled, not realizing you were getting worked up. “it’s okay, baby. it’s okay to let out that frustration. i’m so proud of you for letting yourself feel it. i’m even prouder you called me. that’s so good, rafe.”

you heard him breathing over the line, not speaking for a second. you took this opportunity to find out his whereabouts.

“um.. do you know where you are right now? can you see any signs?” you got up, walking to your closet to throw on a jacket and slip on a pair of shoes, waiting for him to answer.

it was another second of silence before he responded quietly, prompting you to listen closer. “i needed to hear your voice. i know you told me you’d be an outlet, but i didn’t think i’d have to use that outlet, but i needed it..”

you paused after grabbing your keys, listening intently, clinging on to his every word.

“..i needed to hear you. that makes everything better. i can’t see you right now, and i can’t let you see me, but i needed to feel you somehow.”

you slightly panicked at rafe telling you, you couldn’t see him. “rafe, i already see you even if i physically can’t. but i would really like to see you. do you think you could tell me where you are, handsome?” you didn’t let your voice portray your desperation too much. you didn’t want to let him know he was worrying you. then, he really wouldn’t let you go near him. not if he knew he was making you scared.

you could hear chatter grow louder around him as he answered. “i..” he pushed out a heavy sigh. “..i’m not disappointing you, am i? because i.. i won’t tell you if you’re disappointed in me right now. i’ll fix it.. i’ll fix myself and give you time to think.. i can’t have you upset with me..” he voice broke off softly at the end.

you were out of your room and outside, heading towards your car as he finished his sentence. “rafe, i think it’s impossible for me to feel anything diminishing about you. that feeling doesn’t exist inside of me. there is nothing, rafe, you could do or say that would make me view you differently from the caring and gentle hearted man you are.”

you were pressing on the gas, making your way toward where you knew rafe was without him having to say it.

this time it was him that sniffled, and you couldn’t grip the wheel tighter at the sound. he affirmed your thought of his location after a beat of still silence from his side.

“this might be impossible for rafe cameron, but can you please stay still?” you softly chuckled, attempting to lighten the tone, panic easing from you now that you were making your towards him.

“yeah, i’ll try” was his muttered response.

you were pulling up to the restaurant a few minutes later, rushing out of your car and looking around for rafe.

it wasn’t long before you spotted him outside at a high rise table, his head hanging slighty over his arms that were pressed atop of the table. standing tall, and standing oddly still. doubt didn’t dawn on you that rafe would listen, but him literally holding himself still was something you weren’t expecting. you softly shook your head, walking up to him.

he saw you from his peripheral, but sensed you before he actually knew you were approaching. turning his head, his expression couldn’t seem to turn softer and his posture more relaxed.

his face started to crumble, and you quickly reached around him to pull him into a hug, tugging his head down to rest on your shoulder.

you couldn’t feel the clawing and gripping of his hands as he tried to hold you inhumanly closer. only relief that he was in your arms now, and not afar over the phone.

“i’m sorry..” he softly uttered into your top. “..i’m sorry you have to see me like this.. but it’s messed up that i don’t care. i needed to feel you, to touch you, even if it meant you seeing me this way..”

you dug your face into his side, willing your eyes to not produce the tears you felt coming on.

“i can’t.. i won’t let go. you’re gonna leave if i let go, and you can’t leave me. you can’t..”

he spoke so softly you knew it was a thought that he didn’t mean to say out loud.

you reared back, pulling up his head to face you. the sorrow in his eyes felt like the last tug at your heart to finally pull it from its strings.

“i’m never letting go, so you can’t.”

rafe’s arms came down, his hands both cupping over one of your hands. you took it as the sign rafe was ready to leave. was ready to only be near you.

you turned, walking back towards your car, feeling his hands tighten. you went to open the passenger side for rafe when he pulled you back, halting you.

you turned towards him to ask what was wrong when he pulled the back door open instead. he nodded his head into the opening, gesturing for you to climb in first. you did so, not once letting his hands slip from your one. rafe was right behind you, closing the door behind him.

you laid your legs out, letting him settle between them and rest himself against you. he was holding you up to your promise of never letting him go.

you wrapped your arms around him, listening to his breathing. he had done so much talking, it was time for you to return it.

“you’re perfect to me. for me. if no one else can see your worth, they’re not worth your time, rafe. there’s nothing for you to be sorry for. i am so, so glad you called me. it doesn’t hurt seeing you like this as much as it would hurt to know you were going through this alone. there’s nowhere i would rather be than right here with you.”

rafe settled closer into you, always needing to be so close to you it seemed as if you shared the same skin.

“i don’t need anyone but you. i only need you seeing me and really knowing me.. can you just hold me for right now? please.”

as if you would ever deny him. “of course. whatever you need.”

it was a second before you heard him mutter something, not aware he was responding to what you said.

“just you.”

ϧ𝑒ׅ ࣪

[eclipixels]

Casual

Characters: Yoichi Isagi, Meguru Bachira, Hyoma Chigiri, Rin Itoshi, Seishiro Nagi, Reo Mikage

Content: "Casual relationship with the boys but it’s just you getting ahead of yourself and planning to talk to them about getting serious until you saw a headline about 'your' man going official with another lady." - @captainshindo

Isagi

      You weren’t the jealous type. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

      Isagi Yoichi was never officially yours, not in the way that mattered. Sure, he kissed you like you were the only person in the world, pulled you into his arms like he had no intention of letting go, and whispered things at night that made your stomach flip. But there had never been a label.

      It was fine. You were fine. Until you saw the headline.

      "Blue Lock’s Rising Star Isagi Yoichi Goes Official With Mystery Beauty!"

      Your stomach dropped. The article featured blurry paparazzi shots of him with some woman—her face obscured, but her hand was clearly clutching his wrist. You read every line, dissecting every word like it held the key to your survival of your heart. The journalist speculated, fans freaked out, and suddenly, it felt like the whole world was deciding where Isagi’s heart belonged.

      Except, no one had asked you.

      You slammed your phone down, anger bubbling up, not just at him but at yourself. You had been ready, so ready, to have the talk, to define what this thing between you really was. But now? What was the point?

      When Isagi came home later, he immediately noticed something was off.

      "You’re mad at me."

      "Really?” You scoffed.

      "Yeah, you are." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Is this about the article? I have no idea who that woman even was, I’m pretty sure it was a fan."

      Your eyes snapped to him. He looked guilty. Good.

      "Why would I care?" you asked, voice tight. "We’re not dating, right? I mean, not really. So why should I care?"

      His heart cracked when you said that. Did this mean nothing to you? Truth be told, he was planning to talk to you soon about your relationship. He wanted to be yours officially, now he feels dumb for not doing it sooner. Because now, his baby’s heart was broken and he didn’t know how to fix it.

      "Come on, you know that’s not—"

      "Not what? Not true?"

      And it wasn’t like he could just announce to the world that he was taken. Right? But still, he could’ve done something. At least that's what you told yourself.

      Isagi sat in bed that night, phone in hand, searching for ways to subtly (or not-so-subtly) let people know he was taken.

      What he found was… questionable.

      “Give her your hoodie, post her on your story, make it obvious.”

      Okay. Normal enough. What else, though? He wanted to do something more than that.

      “Hickeys are the ultimate mark of possession.”

      His face burned. He thought about it for half a second, then realized they were temporary. That wasn’t enough.

      And then he saw it.

      A tattoo. Permanent. Undeniable. Forever.

      It was impulsive, but so was he.

      Isagi came home, a slight wince on his face as he rolled his shoulder as he began experiencing the weak symptoms of a tattoo flu.

      "Hey."

      You barely looked up from your phone.

      He hovered for a second, then sighed dramatically. "You’re still mad."

      Silence.

      "Okay, well, can you at least look at me?"

      With an exaggerated eye-roll, you glanced up and immediately did a double take.

      "What the hell is that?" you asked, pointing at the fresh ink on the side of his neck.

      Bold, black letters. Your name. Right there for the world to see.

      "A tattoo," he said casually, like he hadn’t just done the most insane thing in history.

      Your mouth opened. Then closed. "No, yeah, I can see that. Why?"

      Isagi scratched the back of his head, suddenly sheepish. "Well, I wanted people to know I’m taken."

      "That’s the way you went about it?"

      "Yeah, but this way, they can’t argue about it." He grinned, a little too pleased with himself.

      “Check my socials” He said with a smug expression. You gave him a puzzled but cautious look as you slowly opened your social media.

      He posted you. Not just that, he put your name in his bio with a heart emoji.

      You blinked. Slowly.

      "You’re insane."

      "Maybe." He stepped closer, tilting his head with a smirk. "But now you can’t say I’m not serious."

      “That is a good picture of us,” You hummed, squealing on the inside at the gesture. He really did that.

      “Match bios with me before it looks like I’m embarrassing myself.” He said sternly and you laughed, your eyes falling past from his lips to the fresh tattoo on his neck.

      “That’s permanent”

      “So is this,” He smiled slyly, pulling you in for a kiss.

      Damn him. Damn him and his stupid, reckless, insanely hot commitment.

      You exhaled, shaking your head. "You’re lucky I love you, Isagi Yoichi."

      That was the first time you said those words to him. I love you.

      "I know. I love you too.” He grinned. Yeah, and so does the whole world know now too.

Bachira

      You weren’t the type to rush into things.

      Or at least, that’s what you told yourself when you first started seeing Bachira Meguru. It had been casual, fun, and effortless. The kind of relationship where dates blurred into late-night calls, where teasing turned into lingering touches, and where stolen kisses didn’t come with strings attached. You liked him. A lot. Maybe too much.

      That was the problem.

      You told yourself it was just fun. That the way he’d tug you close after a match, sweat still dripping from his bangs, meant nothing. The way he sent you voice notes about the most random things, like how the vending machine near his training center always stole his coins. It wasn’t anything special.

      But you wanted more. And after weeks of convincing yourself it wasn’t just one-sided, you’d decided it was time to have the conversation. The ‘what are we?’ talk. The ‘I think I want to be with you officially’ talk.

      You had it all planned out. You’d meet him after practice, maybe go for a walk, maybe grab something to eat. You’d be subtle about it, ease into it the way you always did with him. No pressure. No big declarations.

      Then, fate decided to punch you in the gut.

      Your phone screen lit up with a notification, the kind you usually ignored. But the name caught your eye. Bachira Meguru.

      It wasn’t a text. It wasn’t even a message from him. It was a headline. A big, bold, soul-crushing headline plastered across a sports gossip site.

      “Blue Lock Star Bachira Meguru Goes Official with Rising Model Hana Yoshida!”

      The article was filled with pictures, ones you’d never seen before. Bachira with his arm draped over her shoulders, grinning like he had no worries in the world. Her hand playfully on his chest. Them standing too close, their body language screaming intimacy.

      You stared at your phone, the weight of your own naivety sinking in.

      Had he ever mentioned her? No.

      Had he ever given you any reason to believe it was just you? Also no.

      You had assumed. And that was your mistake.

      The realization was sobering. The night before, he had sent you a voice note about his latest match, his usual excited rambling filling your ears. It felt normal. Easy. Safe. But now, the words rang hollow in your memory, like they belonged to a different story altogether.

      You inhaled sharply and forced a laugh, the sound bitter in your own ears.

      Wasn’t this a blessing in disguise? If you had spoken to him any sooner, you would’ve made a fool of yourself.

      Dodged a bullet. Saved yourself from embarrassment.

      You locked your phone and tossed it onto the couch, letting out a long breath. Maybe it was time to let go of the idea of ‘what could’ve been’ and accept what was staring you in the face.

      Bachira Meguru was never yours to begin with.

      You had ignored his calls. His texts. His voice notes. Bachira was starting to panic. Had he done something wrong? Had he messed up what you two had, without even realizing it?

      The overwhelming feelings he had for you were impossible to express, no matter how hard he tried. He never quite knew the right words, but he knew this. He couldn’t lose you. After years of isolation, of feeling like no one truly understood him, you had come into his life. You got him. And now, the thought of that slipping away, of you slipping away, was unbearable.

      So, in the dead of night, with anxiety clawing at his chest, Bachira showed up at your door. A bouquet of your favorite flowers in one hand, a bag of your favorite snacks in the other, and an apology for whatever the hell it was he had done to make you pull away. He wasn’t even sure what he was apologizing for, but he knew he couldn’t stand this silence between you two any longer.

      When he stood there, nervously shifting from foot to foot, the words he blurted out took you by surprise, and all the anger you had been holding onto melted away in an instant.

      “Are you breaking up with me or something? What did I do?”

      You blinked, taken aback. “Meguru, you really don’t know? You didn’t see the articles and— wait, you thought we’re together?”

      “Well, yeah," he said, frowning, his eyes wide with confusion. "I’m your boyfriend, right? Or did… Oh no, did I assume wrong?” He looked at you in a mix of worry and uncertainty, and something in your chest tightened. He looked so lost, so vulnerable, and you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sympathy.

      “No, no, it’s not that,” you said quickly, trying to explain. “I just saw you with that model, and I thought—”

      “It was for a commercial for Chris Prince’s brand,” he interrupted, his expression softening slightly. “Wait… people are thinking it’s more than that?”

      “The article says it’s official,” you said, biting your lip, unsure how to explain the confusion that had swept over you.

      He froze, processing what you said, then his face shifted to a mix of disbelief and determination. “The hell? No, no way. I’m fixing that. But first,” he said, his gaze locking onto yours, “I need to fix this.” The cool night air swirled around him, his features glowing in the soft light, giving him an almost ethereal quality.

      You blinked, momentarily speechless.

      He stepped closer, leaning in as he looked into your eyes with such intensity that you couldn’t look away. “We are together. Yes?”

      You felt your heart race. “Okay,” you answered, the tension in your body easing with the words.

      Without another word, Bachira leaned in and kissed you. Soft, sweet, but with a warmth that melted away any remaining uncertainty. When he pulled back, he glanced up at you with a shy grin.

      “Good. Can I, uh, come in?”

      You blinked again stunned from the kiss before quickly stepping aside. “Oh, yeah! Sorry, come in!”

Chigiri

      Chigiri was great—amazing, even. Every moment spent with him was effortless. The two of you didn’t define things; it was simple. Casual. Late night skin care dates, movies, shopping, boba. No pressure, no expectations. Or so you thought. But somewhere between laughing over late-night games and the quiet mornings at his apartment, you’d started to wish for more. You didn’t just want him in your life—you wanted him. And not just as a casual companion, but as someone who would be there in the long run. So, you had decided to talk to him about taking things a step further.

      You reread your draft one more time.

      “Hey, Hyoma. I know we’ve been having a lot of fun, but... I’ve been thinking a lot about us. I think I’m ready for something more serious. What do you think?”

      You bit your lip, ready to send it, but then the familiar buzz of a notification caught your attention. A headline. Your eyes widened in disbelief.

      “Hyoma Chigiri Goes Official with Miku Takeda”

      Your breath caught. The picture accompanying the article was of Chigiri, smiling brightly beside a woman with shoulder-length brown hair and a radiant expression. She looked happy. And he was happy, too. You swallowed hard, trying to suppress the wave of disappointment, but it was too much. The words blurred before your eyes as a dull ache settled deep in your chest.

      You blinked rapidly, trying to piece everything together. You two hadn’t exactly made anything official, sure, but... hadn’t the connection felt special? You had been special, hadn’t you? There had been nights spent tangled in each other’s arms, mornings where you stayed in bed a little too long, stealing kisses between sleepy grins.

      A dark thought crept in, taunting you, Was he even serious about me?

      Without thinking, you grabbed your things, leaving the coffee shop in a daze. The cold wind bit at your skin, but you barely noticed. You didn’t know what you were feeling anymore. You had imagined a future with him, and now it was slipping through your fingers like sand.

      The next day, the confusion still gnawed at you. It was hard to focus on anything other than the image of Chigiri standing next to someone else. The woman was probably sweet, charming, someone who could give him everything you could never offer. Was that why he hadn’t wanted to make things official? You were a fool to have expected more.

      You were lost in your thoughts when your phone buzzed again. A text from him.

      “Hey, can I see you later?”

      Your heart skipped a beat. You stared at the message, reading it over and over. He wanted to see you? What could he possibly want to talk about?

      It wasn’t long before you heard a knock on your apartment door. You hesitated for a moment before opening it, only to find Chigiri standing there, his usual calm expression now tinged with uncertainty. His eyes softened when he saw you.

      “Can we talk?” he asked, his voice gentle.

      “I can't,” you replied, trying to sound neutral, but your voice wavered.

      “Why?”

      “I have to um, walk my pet fish.” You gave a poor excuse.

      “Princess, you don’t have a fish.” He bluntly said, giving you a pointed look. Your heart fluttered at the nickname. Why was he here? Why was he calling you that? Why was he playing with you like this? You defeatedly let him in, his gaze sweeping over the room before settling on you. There was an awkward silence between you two. He opened his mouth, then closed it, clearly unsure of where to start.

      “You saw the article, didn’t you” he said finally, his tone a little more serious.

      You nodded, avoiding his gaze. “I did. I didn’t know you were seeing anyone seriously.”

      “I am,” He said defensively and you gave him a confused look. Was he here to break your heart all over again?

      “If that's all you came here to say then—”

      “You.” He interrupted you. “It’s you. I’m serious about you.”

      “What?”

      “It’s not what you think,” he replied quickly, his voice tense. “That woman in the photo, she was just a fan who asked to take a picture. Nothing more. I don’t know how that rumor even got started.”

      You bit your lip, feeling a rush of embarrassment flood through you. Of course, you hadn’t asked him about her. You’d just jumped to conclusions, letting insecurity take hold of you.

      “Oh.” you murmured, guilt creeping into your voice.

      Chigiri ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated with himself. “No, this is my fault. I should’ve made it clear our relationship so you’d never have to feel this way.” His eyes softened as he stepped closer to you. “But what I’m saying is, I’ve only been focused on you.”

      Your heart skipped in your chest, and you met his gaze at last. There was no mistaking the sincerity in his eyes.

      “Yeah, um, me too.” You awkwardly answered, suddenly feeling small under his gaze.

      “Can I be your boyfriend? Officially?”

      “Yes.”

Rin

      You had always known that Rin Itoshi wasn’t the type for deep emotions. His cool demeanor, sharp gaze, and the way he carried himself on and off the field. it all screamed that he was in control, always. And when you found yourself in a casual relationship with him, it was easy to slip into that mindset.

      For weeks, it had been nothing more than stolen moments. Quiet, private conversations after practice, a few casual dinners here and there, and the occasional late-night texts. You were often there for him during his more emotional problems. You knew Rin wasn’t big on showing affection, and in return, you respected his boundaries. But in the back of your mind, you started to wonder if there was something more. Maybe you were getting ahead of yourself, but you couldn’t help it. Every time he looked at you, there was a flicker of something deeper, something he wasn’t ready to share.

      You told yourself it wasn’t a big deal. You were enjoying the moments you shared with him, and that was enough, right? But as the days went by, something inside you told you that you wanted more. You had no idea how he would respond, but the thought of asking had you nervous.

      You planned it all out. You’d wait for the perfect moment, maybe after one of his matches when his energy was high, and then you’d talk. Just the two of you, no distractions. You’d explain how you felt.You hoped he wouldn’t brush you off, maybe, just maybe, he’d feel the same way.

      But of course, life had a funny way of throwing curveballs when you least expected them.

      It all started on a random afternoon when you were scrolling through your phone. You were at home, taking a much-needed break from work and from your thoughts of Rin. The screen flickered to a news headline that made your stomach drop.

      "Rin Itoshi Goes Public with New Girlfriend—Is the Blue Lock Star Finally Settling Down?"

      Your eyes went wide, and your heart skipped a beat. There, on your screen, was a picture of Rin and a woman, someone you had never seen before.

      It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. Your mind raced as you scrolled through the article, each sentence tightening the knot in your stomach.

      Was this it? Had you been just a casual fling for him all along? Was this the end of whatever bond you thought you had? The thought of Rin moving on with someone else. Someone so glamorous and perfect for him, of course. It lleft you feeling small and foolish. You had been planning to have that conversation, and now, it felt like everything was too late.

      With trembling fingers, you dropped your phone on the couch and buried your face in your hands. It was the ultimate slap to your pride, the crushing reality that your feelings were never going to be returned the way you had hoped.

      What had you been thinking? You had let yourself get carried away, fantasizing about something more than what was real. You had never asked him where you stood, and now it was too late to fix it. You laughed bitterly at yourself, feeling the sting of embarrassment.

      The next day, you avoided Rin. You weren’t ready to confront him, not yet—not with the painful sting of the news still so fresh in your mind. It hurt more than you expected, this grief, and you needed space to think. You decided to take a walk, but somehow, your feet led you to the one place you always went when you were hurt—a quiet pond tucked away near the park.

      You hadn’t expected to find him there.

      As soon as you spotted him, your breath caught in your throat. You froze, a sharp pang of discomfort settling in your chest. You considered turning and walking away before he noticed you, but it was too late. He saw you.

      "Y/n..." Rin's voice broke through the silence, and there was something in his tone that made you pause. Relief. You didn’t know how to explain it, but it was unmistakable.

      You took a step back, instinctively wanting to retreat, but he caught it. Panic flashed in his eyes, and the urgency in his voice grew. “Don’t go.”

      You stood still, unsure of what to say or do, as he closed the distance between you. The cool air felt heavier with the weight of the moment. Rin’s usual composure was gone. He looked almost vulnerable as he started to speak again.

      “I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said, his voice softer than you had ever heard it before. “The woman in that article... I’ve known her for a while, but we’re not dating. It was just a misunderstanding.”

      You blinked, your mind racing to process his words. "Oh... okay."

      You didn’t know how to respond. The silence stretched between you, thick with all the things unsaid. Now didn’t feel like the right time to voice your feelings, not with everything still so raw.

      Rin seemed to sense your hesitation, though. He took a deep breath, his gaze steady but intense. "I think... we should be together."

      Your heart skipped, confused by the sudden shift. "What?"

      “I don’t like the thought of us not being together,” he continued, his voice firm yet vulnerable. He was a mess. His emotions were all over the place. He was so scared of messing this up with you. “So, will you...?”

      You blinked again, unsure if you heard him correctly. “You’re asking me to be your girlfriend?”

      His expression softened, the edges of his usual coldness melting away. “I am.”

      You hesitated, the doubts swirling in your mind. "I don’t want to get hurt."

      Rin stepped closer, his eyes locking onto yours with a sincerity that took you by surprise. “I promise, I won’t do that to you.”

      You took a shaky breath, the tension in your chest easing slightly. "Okay."

      As soon as you responded, he shocked you with a chaste kiss, his face heating up immedietly afterwards.

Nagi

      It had been an unusually calm week for you and Seishiro Nagi. Despite the usual chaos that surrounded him, whether it was from Blue Lock’s relentless competition or his fanbase constantly buzzing about his status, you and Nagi had settled into a nice routine. There was no commitment, no promises. Just the two of you enjoying each other’s company in a casual, laid-back way. He’d show up at yours some nights, you'd binge-watch youtube or play video games, and the occasional kiss was exchanged, but it was never anything too serious.

      It was comfortable. Simple. And deep down, you felt like it was enough for you.

      But lately? Lately, something has shifted. Maybe it was the way his hands lingered just a bit longer when they brushed yours, or the way his smile made your heart beat faster than it ever had before. He didn’t say it, but you could feel something brewing underneath the surface. You wondered if maybe, just maybe, it was time to talk to him about what this was, what you two were.

      You stood in front of your mirror one morning, nervously adjusting your hair. The moment had to be right. You’d already rehearsed what you were going to say. “Seishiro, I’ve been thinking. Maybe we could try something more serious?” The words sounded perfect in your mind, a perfect reflection of your growing feelings. No turning back now.

      However, fate had other plans.

      While scrolling through your phone that afternoon, you stumbled upon an article. The headline hit you like a ton of bricks:

      "Seishiro Nagi Officially Goes Public with New Girlfriend!"

      Your heart stopped. You felt like the air had been sucked out of your lungs. Your hands trembled as you read the article further. There was Nagi, smiling in a photo with some unknown woman. The words “new girlfriend” loomed over the image like a cruel reminder that whatever you and Nagi had shared, whatever you had hoped for, wasn’t real.

      You had been overthinking things. This was just a casual thing to him, wasn’t it? You’d misread everything.

      Suddenly, the message you had planned to send him felt ridiculous. Why bother talking about getting serious when clearly, he was already with someone else?

      At that moment, the emotional whiplash was too much. You needed space. You couldn’t face him. You locked your phone screen and pushed all thoughts of the conversation aside.

      For the rest of the day, you tried to distract yourself. You threw yourself into your work, watched mindless videos, but it was all in vain. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw that headline. Your Nagi, someone you had been secretly falling for, was with someone else.

      Meanwhile, Nagi had no clue that his whole world had just fallen apart.

      He was sleeping soundly, sprawled out in his bed, his phone discarded on the nightstand.

      The evening sunset pierced through his window as he blinked his eyes open, groggy but still content. He missed you, he wonderd if you were busy. A small smile tugged at his lips as he sent you a message. You always knew how to cheer him up after a long day.

      But there was no reply.

      Weird.

      Nagi tilted his head, frowning as he locked his phone and stretched his arms above his head. He figured you were just busy or had fallen asleep early. Still, he felt a little disappointed. You two hadn’t played together in a while.

      He got out of bed, grabbing a quick snack before going back to his room to play a few rounds of valorant on his pc. Yet, something gnawed at him, something felt off. He decided to call you.

      But you didn’t pick up.

      Weird.

      He tried again. Still, no response.

      Now, Nagi was starting to get that feeling in his gut. It wasn’t like you to ignore him like this. His thoughts were interrupted when his phone buzzed again.

      This time, it was an article. The same one from earlier, only now it was everywhere. Nagi’s eyes widened as he saw the headline about him and the new “girlfriend.” He froze.

      What the hell was going on?

      His first instinct was to brush it off as some stupid gossip, but his feelings quickly turned into panic as he realized you must’ve seen the article.

      You were sitting on your couch, trying to make sense of everything, when you heard a knock at your door.

      Your heart skipped a beat. Part of you wanted to believe it was him, but the other half knew that was unrealistic. Even if he was here, you didn’t want to face him. Not like this. You didn’t want to explain the mess in your mind, the whirlwind of emotions, and the jealousy that had sprung up when you saw that article.

      You opened the door and there he was. Nagi.

      And before you could say anything, he kissed you—firmly, his lips pressing against yours in a way that made your mind go blank. His hand cupped your cheek, and when he pulled away, his eyes bore into yours, a mix of determination and something else you couldn’t quite place. He hoped you could feel all of his love for you through it.

      “You’re mine. Not anyone else,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “That news article? Fake. All of it.”

      You blinked, completely shocked. “What… what do you mean?”

      Nagi sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what was going on until just now. I didn’t even realize you saw it. But I wasn’t with her. I was never with her. It’s all some stupid misunderstanding.”

      You could hardly process his words. Your heart pounded in your chest, and suddenly the flood of emotions that had built up came rushing in. But before you could speak, Nagi kissed you again before pouting.

      “Now that we’ve cleared that, can we play Overwatch?”

      It was absurd. You were still trying to digest the fact that he’d kissed you that passionately and now he was asking to game? Your face was still red from the gesture.

      “...Okay,” you finally muttered, still a little dazed.

      “Good, I’ve missed playing with my girlfriend.” He smiled, ruffling your hair as he walked past you to get to your room. You almost choked. You’ve been his girlfriend? Since when?

Reo

      You had always known your relationship with Reo Mikage wasn’t exactly typical, but that never stopped you from dreaming. Reo had a way of making everything feel effortless. He was charming, with an enigmatic allure that seemed to make everyone gravitate toward him. And yet, he always found a way to make you feel special. Whether it was through a text, spoiling you with gifts, late night walks, a shared glance during class, or a quiet dinner date at one of the many upscale restaurants his family frequented, Reo knew how to make you feel like you were the only one in his world.

      You weren't from the same social circle as Reo, and that difference stung every time you allowed yourself to think about it. Reo was the heir to a vast fortune, a golden boy in the world of soccer, destined for greatness. His family’s wealth and influence were legendary. Meanwhile, you were just another girl trying to make it through school, scraping together money for lunch while juggling part-time jobs. You didn’t feel like you belonged in his world, even if Reo never seemed to care about that. He had a way of looking past the things that defined people’s worth in the eyes of the world. But the reality of your difference in status was something you couldn’t fully ignore.

      It wasn’t as if Reo was outwardly dismissive about your life or background. No, Reo was sweet, considerate, and—frustratingly—always seemed like he genuinely enjoyed your company. But lately, you were starting to wonder if you had been kidding yourself. Maybe you were just another fleeting thing in his life, a distraction before he inevitably moved on to someone more suited for him. Someone from a wealthier, more established family. Someone who could fit seamlessly into his world.

      That was why, after months of casually seeing each other, you found yourself sitting on the edge of your bed one evening, staring at your phone screen and rehearsing what you were going to say to him. You’d been thinking about it for weeks now. Maybe it was time to have the conversation, to ask him where you stood and if there could be something more between you. You had convinced yourself that it was the right time. Reo was always warm toward you, his touches tender and his words soft. Maybe he was waiting for you to make the first move.

      But then, as you scrolled through your social media feed while absently flipping through notes for your upcoming exam, you saw it.

      The headline nearly knocked the breath out of you: "Reo Mikage Goes Official with Korean Chaebol Heiress, Seung Hae."

      Your heart dropped into your stomach as your finger hovered over the screen. Was this some kind of joke? You blinked twice, then read the article again. It showed pictures of Reo with a beautiful, tall woman at a high-profile event. Her arms draped around his, smiles exchanged, the kind of chemistry you never seemed to get from him.

      The worst part? The woman was breathtaking, with long black hair, flawless skin, and a designer outfit that screamed money. Her family was a significant part of the Chaebol world in Korea, and she fit perfectly into the realm of Reo’s lifestyle. Someone his family would approve of.

      A strange mix of anger, sadness, and embarrassment bubbled up inside you. You could feel your face flush with humiliation. It wasn’t the first time you had thought about the possibility of Reo seeing someone else, but this felt different. It felt real.

      Reo had been so kind to you, so sweet, that you thought maybe you were building something together. But now it all felt like a lie. You had been foolish to think he could ever be serious about someone like you. Maybe this was his way of showing you that your relationship could never be more than a fleeting thing.

      I guess I was just a phase, you thought bitterly.

      The next day, you avoided Reo. It wasn’t easy, especially since he always found ways to pick you up after school or find a day to hang out but you kept your distance. Whenever he texted you, asking if you could meet, you came up with a vague excuse about needing to study or work. Every time your phone buzzed with his name, you winced.

      But despite all your avoidance, Reo never seemed to give up. His persistence only fueled the fire of your insecurities. What could he possibly want from you now?

      Then came the day he appeared at your school’s courtyard, standing by a bench, watching you from afar. His expression wasn’t one of frustration or confusion; it was one of pure determination. It was oddly nostalgic back from when he used to go to school here.

      “Y/n, we need to talk,” he called out.

      You froze, clutching your bag tighter as you forced a tight smile. “There’s nothing to talk about, Reo.”

      “Don’t give me that,” he said, closing the distance between you. “You’re avoiding me, and it’s clear something’s wrong.”

      Your breath hitched. You could feel the tears starting to prickle at your eyes as the weight of it all hit you.

      “I saw the article,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I saw the pictures of you and her.”

      Reo’s face paled for a second before his usual calm demeanor returned. He raised a hand, gently cupping your face. “Love,” he began, his voice steady. “She’s just a family friend.”

      Your heart stuttered in your chest as you looked up at him, uncertain. “Then why was she wrapped around you like that? You and her, together like that... it didn’t look like business.”

      “She was posed up like that with several other sons of prestigious families there. I promise you, you’re my only one.”

      You swallowed, the tightness in your throat easing slightly. “But I’m not... I’m not like you. You have your world, Reo, and I’m just... me. It’s not the same.”

      Reo stepped even closer, his eyes soft and focused on you. “You are my world, and that is more than enough for me. Don’t ever think it isn’t.”

      The sincerity in his voice hit you like a wave, and suddenly the weight you had carried for so long felt like it was lifting.

      “I’m sorry I didn’t explain it sooner,” Reo said, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. “I should’ve told you about the event but I didn’t know the press would spin a story like this.”

      “Oh”

      Reo chuckled softly, his hands still gently holding your face. “I hope you know that you’re it for me, Y/n.”

      Your heart fluttered in your chest. This was real. In that moment, all your insecurities seemed to vanish. Maybe you didn’t come from the same world as Reo, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t share a future with him.

      “Does that mean we’re together?” You asked.

      “My heart was yours since the day we met.” He leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

[lotuswish]

˗ˏˋ how they hold your hand (housewardens & jamil) ⭑ .ᐟ

synopsis: fingers intertwining, a gentle squeeze, the warmth of a palm against yours—how each boy holds your hand says more than words ever could. from shy, lingering touches to firm, protective grips, every gesture is a glimpse into the way they love.

featured character(s): riddle rosehearts, leona kingscholar, azul ashengrotto, kalim al-asim, jamil viper, vil schoenheit, idia shroud, malleus draconia.

content warning(s): none.

a/n: just a cute and silly idea i had at 3am. :3

riddle rosehearts

riddle holds your hand like it’s a delicate porcelain teacup—carefully, with just enough pressure to keep it secure. at first, his fingers are a little stiff, his cheeks faintly pink as he focuses on not fumbling. he tries so hard to get it just right, and when he feels your fingers relax in his, his grip softens, almost shyly. he’ll sneak a glance at your face, and if he catches you smiling, his hold tightens slightly, a quiet boost to his confidence.

“i hope… this isn’t too forward,” he says softly, his voice careful and deliberate, though his gaze lingers on your joined hands with the faintest hint of pride.

leona kingscholar

leona’s hand intertwines with yours with effortless confidence, his hold firm yet unhurried, carrying a subtle possessiveness—like your hand was always meant to be in his, and he has no intention of letting go. his fingers slide between yours with ease, and he occasionally shifts your hands against his leg or his side, keeping you close without making a fuss. if you try to pull away, even as a joke, he’ll tug you back with a low grumble, his tail flicking once beside him in annoyance.

“don’t start something you can’t finish, herbivore,” he drawls, his tone low and gruff. though he acts nonchalant, deep down, it's his way of keeping you close without having to say it out loud.

azul ashengrotto

azul holds your hand like he’s trying to make the perfect impression, his fingers enveloping yours carefully, almost methodically. his palm is cool, and every so often, his grip tightens subtly, like he’s testing the waters to see if this is really okay. though he maintains his composed expression, his gaze flickers nervously between your face and your joined hands. when he sees your reassuring smile, the faintest flush of pink spreads across his cheeks, despite his efforts to stay collected.

“i trust this arrangement is… satisfactory?” he asks, his voice soft and composed, but the way he clears his throat afterward betrays his nerves.

kalim al-asim

kalim grabs your hand without hesitation, his fingers threading through yours in a fluid, lively motion, like he’s been waiting to do it all along. his grip is strong and eager, a comforting warmth radiating from his palm. the giddy smile on his face makes it clear that your touch is his favorite thing in the world. as you walk, he swings your joined hands, and every so often, he’ll squeeze your hand gently or press it against his chest when he’s particularly excited about something.

“i’m so glad you’re here with me,” he says, his voice bubbling with joy, as though holding your hand is the highlight of his day.

jamil viper

jamil holds your hand with calculated ease—his touch appears casual, but every movement is deliberate. his fingers lace with yours slowly, his grip just firm enough to keep you close without drawing attention. to anyone else, it might seem detached, but the way his fingers subtly shift to match your movements or the faint, almost unnoticeable tension in his shoulders reveals the truth: he’s hyperaware of you.

he doesn’t say much, but after a quiet moment, he glances at your hands and murmurs, “you don’t have to hold on so tightly,” his tone calm, though the slight squeeze he gives your hand betrays just how much he doesn’t want you to let go.

vil schoenheit

vil holds your hand with an air of practiced elegance, his fingers lacing with yours smoothly, as if even the smallest gestures between you deserve the utmost intention and care. his grip is steady and purposeful, his hand fitting perfectly against yours. sometimes, he’ll lift your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against your knuckles before letting his fingers curl a little tighter around yours.

“your hands are quite lovely,” he murmurs, his tone carrying its usual polished air, but softer, more personal. “i suppose i shouldn’t be surprised—everything about you tends to draw the eye.”

idia shroud

idia starts by linking pinkies with you, his hand hovering awkwardly at first. his skin is warm and a little clammy, his nerves written in the way his fingers twitch slightly. after a few moments, he works up the courage to slide the rest of his fingers into place, his grip loose but earnest. his hand fidgets slightly against yours, like he’s still adjusting, but when he notices you’re not letting go, a shy, genuine smile tugs at his lips.

“uh… your hand’s… really warm,” he mutters softly, his voice unsteady as the tips of his hair flicker pink. “it’s… kinda nice, actually.”

malleus draconia

malleus holds your hand with a quiet reverence, his long fingers intertwining with yours with a gentle but steady grip. his touch carries a subtle chill, and there’s a deliberate care in the way he adjusts his hold, as if mindful of not startling you. occasionally, he lifts your hand slightly, aligning his palm with yours as if to compare their size. his fingers slowly curl around yours again, his touch gentle and his gaze filled with quiet wonder, as though the contrast holds a meaning only he can understand.

“your hands are small, child of man,” he says softly, tilting his head as if deep in thought. “yet they feel as though they were meant to be held by mine.”

congrats on making it to the end! if you enjoyed this, likes, comments, follows, and reblogs are always appreciated—they help motivate me to keep creating and sharing!

[kxtsukixoxo]

we should just get drunk and fuck

✮⋆˙ ft. keigo “hawks” takami

“rough day at work?”

he asked as he nursed the alcohol bottle in his hands.

“am i not allowed to drink for no reason?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, breaking your gaze from the TV. he shrugged and focused his attention back onto the tv.

“forgive me for trying to provide emotional support,” he faked a huff and rolled his eyes. you peered at him through the side of your vision. his annoyed look didn’t stay for long, soon enough a smile was back on his face.

“fine. I'm just annoyed today.” you admitted, pulling your legs up onto the couch and resting your chin on top of your knees.

“what, did your boyfriend not text you good morning?” he leaned in and laughed, nudging you with his elbow.

“kei, we broke up a month and a half ago. did I not tell you?��� you grabbed the bottle from his extended hand and took another swig. His eyebrows knit together, aureate eyes staring down at you and processing your words.

“no. why didn’t you tell me? i could’ve beat him up or something.” He crossed his arms over his chest and pursed his lips together. His wings puffed behind him.

“Because I was the one who broke up with him. and it’s not like he cheated or anything.” you shrugged, pushing the bottle towards him. he stared down at the bottle in his hand and slowly trailed his eyes up toward your face.

“so what…happened?” he shifted his body to face you, arm thrown over the back of the couch. he was staring intently at you, golden gaze burning through your skin.

“i don’t know. just lost feelings I guess.”

the two of you sat in silence. keigo's eyes danced across your face, teeth biting down on his lower lip. you could feel your cheeks heating up, and not because of the alcohol this time. he reached over, setting the bottle on the coffee table. his unoccupied hand hesitantly made its way to yours. fingers wrapping around your own.

you were conflicted. scared that if you crossed that line I’d lose him. the man who’s been by your side for years now. yet at the same time, it felt right. the countless nights you’d fallen asleep beside him, the times he’d patched you up after fights. you glanced up at him, his eyes were flicking back and forth from your eyes, to your lips, and back up again. he leaned in, lips brushing against yours. you jerked your body away, hands pushing at his chest. a look of horror rose upon his face, eyes widening.

“i’m sorry…I thought you were into me,” his face flushed, a dusty rose brimming his cheeks.

“i-i,” your brows knitted as you searched for words. “it’s okay. I'm just-” his eyes settled on yours. you stayed silent, your lips parted as if you were about to speak.

“are you?” he cocked an eyebrow at you, egging you on.

“yes!” The word rushed out of your mouth. “but-” his gaze was still fixed on you, unrelenting. “i don’t know,” you sighed. keigo and you sat in a pungent silence. your teeth gritted as your mind blanked.

“for how long?”

There wasn’t even a single doubt about it. from the second you’d  met him you’d had these feelings, the time you’d spent together only made them blossom.

“since we met.” your words were muffled by your sweatpants, head now buried in the fabric.

“why…” he stopped. you peered at him from out of the corner of your eyes. he was chewing on his lip, eyes darting around the room. “why haven’t we…” his words drawled on as if the end of his sentence would never come.

“i like having you in my life and I don’t want to fuck it up.” you sat up, legs dropping off of the couch.

“you’re not going to fuck it up, what is there to fuck up?” his words hit you. you didn’t have an answer, you didn’t even know if there was one. “nothing.”

“kei,” you started, not knowing what there was to say. you felt your heart fluttering as you looked up at him. “kiss me?”

he leaned in, hand coming up to cup your cheek. he paused for a moment, looking you in the eyes before dipping down to press his lips to yours. It was soft and warm, the two of you moved in sync. his warm breath tickled your face with every exhale. you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, edging you toward opening your mouth. you complied. his tongue slithered into your mouth, colliding with your own, moving against the rhythm of his lips. his hand moved to squeeze your hip, thumb pushing at the hem of your shirt. you pulled back to catch your breath. your chest heaved as you struggled to bring in air. a small strand of saliva hung between keigos and your lips, breaking as keigo dipped his head down again, this time his lips began trailing up your neck.

it started out as soft, then slowly shifting to harsh bites and nips at your skin. soon enough he was sucking dark marks into your skin. you squirmed in his hold as he worked away, marking the skin of my neck. your fingers carded through the blonde trusses on his head, tugging gently as he worked. But he pulled away, breaking from your grasp. he worked the fabric of his shirt over his head,working his shirt over the maroon feathers on his back. He tossed the shirt to the side before grabbing onto your knees and pulling your body further down the couch. he was hovering over you, the once bright gold of his iris turned into small hints of medallion tracing along his blown out pupils. he pushed your knees to the side, making room for his hips.

“is this okay?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your knee. you nodded, biting down on your lip as you watched him lean down. his lips met yours again, the kiss much more hasty and needy than before. his hands began sliding under your shirt, cold fingers pricking your warm skin as the digits pushed higher and higher, stopping around the band of your bra. you pulled your shirt over your head, letting it drop behind you. he pushed the band of your bra over your tits, hands pawing at your nipples. he leaned in, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, teeth gently grazing the skin as he sucked and licked. you let out a sigh as his hand roughly tweaked the skin. his hips ground into yours, even through the fabric of his jeans you could feel his stiffening cock.

you whimpered as he pulled back with a loud pop. you grabbed onto his belt, undoing it and pulling it through the loops of his pants. he fiddled with the button of his jeans, wasting no time discarding them among the growing pile of clothes. his hands gripped onto your sweatpants, tugging them down your hips. you shifted your weight to help him ease the fabric off. soon he was back between your legs, grinding against you. you could feel heat pooling in your core. his lips attacked your neck. bruises sprouting from your skin as his lips drew higher.

“i can feel how wet you are,” he gently bit down on your earlobe. you felt yourself clenching around nothing. he slid his hands between the both of your bodies, cupping your cunt. he groaned as his fingers slid up and down your clothed core.

“stop teasing,” you whimpered, covering your mouth with your hand.

“as you wish.” he chuckled, pulling your underwear down your legs. you hissed at the feeling of the cold air hitting your exposed skin. keigo began trailing his lips down your neck stopping to suck on your nipples once more before lowering even further. he bit into the skin on your hip, earning a soft moan from you. he gripped your legs and threw them over his shoulders, diving in. his tongue flicked your clit. your back arched, hands coming to tug at his hair. he groaned, the vibrations causing you to curse as you bucked your hips into his face.

two fingers circled around your entrance before slowly diving in and slipping back out. his lips closed around your clit, and he began harshly sucking as he penetrated you once more with his fingers. you moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head. he started a steady pace, fingers curling up as he thrusted. your toes curled and the muscles in your abdomen began to squeeze. a stream of moans fell from your lips. with a loud pop he pulled off and returned to flicking your clit. you body jolted, hips moving away from the stimulation. he threw an arm around your stomach, pinning you down.

“fuck! fuck!fuck!fuck!” you moaned, rocking your hips against his face. he thrusted his fingers faster, mouth moving away to bite down on your inner thigh. you cried out, thighs shaking as you neared your peak. and then his tongue was back on you, flicking incessantly at your clit, pushing you over the edge. your back arched off of the couch, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you came. your muscles lost tone and fell limp. you collapsed back onto the couch, chest rising and falling as you panted. your vision began to focus, your eyes darting to the blonde between your leg. he was pressing kisses to your thighs and soothing over the bite he left.

“lemme suck you off,” you slurred out through your labored breathing.

“if i don’t get inside you right now I’ll bust,” he pulled his boxers over his hips, cock springing free. pre cum already dripping from the tip.

“let me ride you,” you spoke, more coherent this time. He bit his lip and eyed you down.

“can’t say no to that,” he laid himself down against the arm of the couch and gestured toward himself. He settled his wings behind himself, crimson feathers splayed across the couch like a blanket. you moved to sit in his lap, pressing your lips to him. his fingers ran through my hair as he kissed back, his other hand squeezing my thighs. you pulled back, lifting your hips up and guiding his cock into you. he groaned as you slowly sunk yourself down into him, hands gripping your hips. you bit down on your lip as you gave yourself time to adjust to him. he pressed kisses along your neck, whispering praises into your skin.

you pulled out before slamming yourself back down onto him, starting up a steady rhythm. he cried out, fingers digging into you as you rode him. you called his name over and over until it was a jumbled mess, eyes fixated on his face. his eyes were screwed shut and a deep blush washed over his face. you settled my hands on his chest as leverage to fuck yourself harder onto him, unable to stop the cacophony of moans crawling out of your chest. his thumb brushed against your clit, causing your body to arch.

keigo was quick to pick up the lost rhythm, bending his knees to thrust up into you. you fell forwards against his chest, turning into a moaning mess as he continued his bruising pace on you.

“you like that?” He moaned, fucking up hard into you. you nodded, or tried to. your body had become consumed by pleasure, limbs becoming heavy as you lost yourself. you kissed his neck and cupped my hand over his cheek. your teeth clamped down gently onto his skin before pulling back and soothing over the bite with kisses.

“fuck, I’m gonna cum so hard,” he groaned. you whimpered, gripping onto his arm.

“In me,” you said next to his ear. he moaned and began using his hands to slam your hips down against his own rhythm. your body bounced against him, your insides tightening as you neared your peak.

“fuck, you’re so good,” his lips moved to kiss any bit of skin he could get his hands on. your toes curled and your muscles began to squeeze harder. you cried out his name, clamping down around him as you came, biting down on his shoulder. he groaned, hips stuttering as he spilled inside of you. he thrusted into you, riding out his orgasm before stilling. he let go of your hips and pulled you close, kissing your cheek.

“was that okay?” he asked, stroking your hair.

“you were amazing,” you grinned, nuzzling into the warmth of his neck.

“no I mean, was it okay that we did that?” He gripped your chin, pulling you back to look at him. he looked worried, lips formed into a thin line. but your only thoughts were how you wanted to lie with him forever.

“yeah. i really enjoyed it.” you pressed a kiss to his lips. his lips curled into a smile as he pulled you closer.

“i guess that means i gotta take you out to dinner then.” he chuckled. you could feel the rumble of his chest against yours.

“a little backwards but I’ll take it.”

[aninipanin1]

How about Young manager with ADHD (continuously gets lost within Blue Lock, interrupts Ego using the PA system (accidentally) about trivial things, misplaces objects, rather naive etc),,, lol

LOST SHEEP

Notes: I personally do not have ADHD and my knowledge about it is quite small, so please forgive me if I misrepresent it here! I do not have any intentions of doing so, and if I do make some mistakes, please let me know! I am genuinely interested in being much more knowledgeable about this topic. Thank you!

"Y/n-chan...? What are you doing there..?"

Hiori asked, blinking at the rather bizarre scene in front of him. The midfielder just finished his daily training routines when he stepped inside of the laundry room to place his laundry basket.

But when he did walk in, he found their precious manager crouched down, hugging your legs as your eyes focused intensely at the small window of the washing machine, eyes boring at the spinning clothes inside the contraption.

In fact, you were too focused to even notice or hear the music of the other machines that alerted the room about how the process was done. You were just sitting there, staring, eyes blinking rarely, as if the rotation of the washing machine was a rare circus show to your eyes.

Everyone in the facility knew of your...tendencies and are more than understanding and ready to help you return your attention to whatever you were currently doing. Hiori was no different as he approached your crouched figure and lightly held your shoulder to take your attention back, but he made sure to be gentle enough to not scare you.

"Y/n-chan, earth to Y/n-chan. Are you okay?" He said in the softest voice he can muster, his hands supporting your crouched figure that almost lost its balance. You looked a bit dazed still from your previous episode, blinking at the sudden interruption. Turning to the blue-haired player, you tilted your head.

"Hiori-kun? What are we doing here...? What's happening?"

"Everything is fine, Y/n-chan. You just got a bit distracted with the washing machine." He explained, raising one of his hands to your hair, softly patting it in a comforting manner. He guided you up from your position and helped with the laundry that had long been done.

"Oh, I didnt notice that the rest were done..." you said in realization, looking at the washing machine with wide eyes. Hiori, who could not help himself, pinched one of your cheeks.

"Its fine, let's just get the rest of the laundry and hang it up, yeah?"

'Geez, she's too cute to be even real...' he inwardly gushed.

"What do you mean you can't find her?" Ego said, glaring at a worried Anri the moment he received the news. Apparently, you have been missing for more than an hour now, with no one from any stratum knowing where you were or even seeing you pass by.

"I'm a little worried. We all know how she gets when she's super distracted."

Ego sighed, rubbing his temple and not even adjusting his glasses that fell off the bridge of his nose. Out of everyone in there, he knew, especially how you can get. Being the one you always worked alongside with, there were times when you would be too focused on something trivial like a moving object or a rather miniscule detail that you would end up forgetting everything you were currently and supposed to be doing.

Now, most of the time, he encourages this. Ego cannot count how many times you ended up helping him and the players as a whole because your fixations on even the most minute of details always ended up being the root cause of a problem.

Hence, why, starting then, he always trusted your mini hyperfixations, no matter how dumb it may sound. You were naive, yes, but you are also a genius, something most people around you know of. So, early on, Ego trusted these said instincts and fixations and revolving them into something that would benefit everybody.

However, there are times like these where those hyperfixations end up disadvantageous. Somehow, you always get lost in the worst times in the worst places possible. Once, the whole facility literally had to work together in order to find you, only for Niko to find you crawling around the storage room near the cafeteria, chasing a ladybug that got your attention while you tried to find your way around the facility again.

There was no time for that kind of thing, however, seeing as to how the day after tomorrow was the last games for the Neo Egoist League, and the staff desperately needed to arrange everything and anything under the sun to make sure the games and livestream are all smooth sailing.

And, they definitely needed you, the overall manager of the teams, there.

"What do we do, Ego-san?"

"I'll look around in my cameras. Try to find her in the usual spot and rooms she crawls and runs on, or those rooms that have a lot of things she can fidget with." He sighed, feeling so done with everything that happened that day.

"Okay. I'll ask help from the rest of the staff."

Just as they were about to start looking for you though, the PA system was suspiciously turned on.

"Huh? It's not even 12 in the noon yet."

Anri said, confused, but all their questioning were answered when they heard the loud feedback of the mic before hearing small scratches and fidgeting noises in the mix. There were even times when they heard some buttons being pushed about. Ego sighed again, but it felt more like a breath of relief.

"That's her. Get that problem child and bring her here." Ego said, spinning his chair to face the cameras. And would you know it, when he went back through the CCTV cameras' previous footages, he saw you in the PA room, fidgeting with the buttons of the system. If he were to be honest, he felt a huge sigh of relief that you were not doing anything that may have harmed you of sort.

After a few minutes, Anri opened the door to his office but alongside her was Don Lorenzo who was smirking as he held you by the scruff of your jacket. Carrying you like a lost kitten, while you only blinked at the predicament you were in, constantly asking Anri about what you were supposed to do again and just babbling stories to Lorenzo and Anri.

"The lost sheep is here." He said, bringing you on the ground as carefully as he could, nodding along to whatever you said about how microphones actually worked and how you were just curious and wanted to experiment if your knowledge and hypothesis were actually real or whatever your mind was thinking about currently.

"Y/n." Ego said a bit sternly, making you stop talking as you looked at the man.

"Try to bring someone with you when you go on your little adventures sometimes." He said before turning his swivel chair once again to face the many monitors, turning his back to you.

"Okay, Ego-san!" You cheered happily, not even bothered about what had just transpired as you went back to your notebook to continue writing and working.

'This girl is going to be the death of me. This is why I don't want kids.' Ego thought, shaking his head.

"Rin-kun. Have you seen Mr. Boba?"

"Hah?"

Rin said, his usual frown in his face. But, this was more of a frown of confusion. He knew you had the habit of naming normal objects with names you found either fitting or adorable, by your standards of course. So, when you approached the striker about a supposed 'Mr. Boba,' he had no idea what the hell you were even looking for.

"Mr. Boba! He has tons of dots that's why he's Mr. Boba." You insisted, your face in a frown because you can't find what you were looking for at all and it was starting to thin your patience a bit.

"Look, I don't know what your Mr. Boba is. What even is it? Is it a hairpin of a boba, or a keychain?" Rin asked. He really did want to help you find Mr. Boba, but you were not exactly helping your case as you kept insisting Mr. Boba was Mr. Boba.

That was until Karasu and Shidou entered the field that helped him and you.

"Y/n-chan! Hi! Why are you sad?!" Shidou asked as he jumped to hug you, before frowning himself, not liking that you were clearly upset by the look at the frown on your face.

"What's wrong, Y/n-chan?" Karasu added, patting your hair.

"Did Rinrin over here make you sad? I'll beat him up for you if you want, Y/n-cha-"

"Shut the fuck up, lukewarm idiot. I didn't do crap." Rin intercepted Shidou, feeling the veins on his head pop.

"No, no, Shidou-san. I just can't find Mr. Boba. What do I do? I need him." The frown on your face deepened into a pout. Karasu was confused as hell who was this Mr. Boba you were talking about. He turned to Rin, who only glared at him.

"I dont know who the hell her Mr. Boba is."

But, Shidou seemed to understand who your Mr. Boba was as the grin on his face widened and he pulled your phone out from your jacket pocket and extended it to your hand.

"Mr. Boba!" You cheered happily at the phone.

"Silly Y/n-chan. It was in your pocket all along!" Shidou said as he pinched your cheeks and stretching it. Meanwhile, Karasu and Rin were just left confused to the side, wondering how the hell was a phone comparable to a boba.

"That's Mr. Boba? What the hell. I don't see it." Karasu commented, but Shidou only stuck his tongue out at both of them.

"You all are blind losers. Can't you see the phonecase design? It has black circles in the bottom and since its a clear case, you can see the (f/c) of the phone! So its like boba." Shidou explained, pointing out the small design of the phone that somehow made it look like a boba in both your and his eyes.

"Yeah! Like Shidou-san said!" You cheered as you hugged the male, thanking him sweetly for helping you find your Mr. Boba.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." Rin said, facepalming as Karasu just laughed.

"Shut the hell up, Rin-rin! You can't say that to Y/n-chan!!!"

"Who said I was also talking about her?"

ADDITIONAL TIME!

Since everyone in the Blue Lock facility found out about your disorder, they became much more protective of you overall.

You are waiting in line for food? No, youre not. Everyone is letting you get your food first.

You have bad time management? They'd help with that. They'll be your personal alarm clock.

You are feeling so bored and want to fidget with something? They'd let you play with their hands while they listened to Ego's damn lectures.

It's all about maintaining your attention span yet enabling you to become a better person as a whole. To improve your mental health and also make you feel that you are more than your disorder.

But, of course, they can't help but spoil you every once in a while. No biggie!

Blue Lock is WRITTEN by Kaneshiro Muneyuki and ILLUSTRATED by Nomura Yusuke. All credits to the both of them.

[vampzity]

stimulate me | J.WY

★ DAY ONE: VIBRATORS WITH WOOYOUNG ★

pairing: bf! wooyoung x f! reader

watching a movie with your boyfriend sounds a normal task right? Not when your new toy comes into play. Every time you lose focus of the movie, he’ll stop, but when you pay attention the speed only intensifies.

[warnings]: MDNI 18+ !!!, literally no plot, smut, begging, overstimulation, oral (f. receiving), fingering, praising, vibrator is used on reader, pet names (baby, good girl, sweet girl), wooyoung’s a jackass, marking, cursing

word count: 1.1k

You laid with your legs in your boyfriend’s lap, watching the movie intently as the gang began to escape their captivity. It was so interesting to you and you were looking forward to sharing this night with Wooyoung, as he’s been so busy at the company. He however, paid no attention to the movie— in fact he didn’t even care for it.

His mind was rushing with anticipation, excitement. Dirty thoughts coursing through him like an animal in heat. Every few seconds he’d glance at you, noticing how unaware you were. His dick twitched under his sweatpants every time he admired your body; the way your breasts were perky under your not-so-baggy top and how your thighs made your pajama shirts roll back slightly.

God what a perv.

“Everything okay Woo?”

He snapped out of his trance, nodding and rubbing the back of his neck shyly. He got up from the couch, quickly retreating to the room. You paused the movie, sitting there confused as you looked down the hall.

“What are you doing? You’re interrupting movie night!” you crossed your arms, a bit annoyed at his sudden change in demeanor.

Wooyoung came back hurriedly, stuffing something into his pocket as he sat back on the couch next to you. You gave him a look, eyes falling to the crowded pocket that he failed to play off.

“What’s in the pocket?”

He laughed nervously, grabbing the remote from you and unpausing the movie. He pulled you closer to him by the waist, resting his chin against your shoulder and making the hairs stand up on your neck from his breathing. He pulled out a small purple vibrator; its head shaped like a rounded cube. Your eyes widened, meeting his as he lifted his head up.

You usually wouldn’t resort to buying anything sexual without telling Wooyoung. Only because he wanted to pay for any of your needs or desires, but you grow so needy in moments when he’s gone. You simply couldn’t help yourself.

“Bought a new toy without consulting me, hm?” He pulled your shorts, throwing them into the ground as you were left in only a tshirt and panties.

“Why don’t I test it out for you?”

He kissed your neck softly, spreading your legs slightly as he placed the vibrator in between your folds. You moaned softly at his touch, his hand holding your chin. A small smile crept on his face as he turned on the toy, the sudden feeling startling you.

“Watch the movie angel. Focus on it real good for me, yeah?”

He leaned closer to your ear, turning the setting to the highest possible. You let out a loud moan, your legs opening wider to allow more access to your sensitive bud.

“If you can’t, don’t bother asking me to cum. Understood?”

You nodded hesitantly, your breath becoming staggered as the vibrations went back to low. Wooyoung moved the toy around your bud, earning a small whimper escaping your lips. Your eyes fluttered as you tried to keep focus on the movie, but it felt so good.

You moaned quietly, feeling his lips peck your neck. He tilted your head slightly, allowing him more access to your sweet skin. His tongue swirled around your skin, sucking against it softly and leaving small red marks.

“Hmm good girl. Wanna cum badly, don’t you?”

You threw your head back in pleasure as he raised the setting, the toy practically pounding against your clit. Your hand wrapped around his wrist, moving it up and down as your moans grew louder. Wooyoung raised his eyebrow at you, turning off the vibrator and shooting you a stern look. He grabbed you by the chin, pulling your face to meet his eyes. He rolled his eyes, laughing in your face as you whined.

“I told you to pay attention to the movie, didn’t I?”

You nodded hesitantly, your head slowly turning back to the television. Wooyoung smiled, turning the vibrator back onto the lowest setting. Wet was an understatement— he could hear the creamy sounds of your cunt from where he sat, and boy did he want a taste.

With every passing scene, the setting got higher, making your moans louder. He pressed it harder against your clit, rubbing it in slow circular motions.

“Tell me how it feels baby, use your words.” You looked at him for a second, his small nod making your knees buckle.

“Need more.”

That’s all he needed to hear. In that moment he could no longer give a crap about the shitty movie that played because all he wanted was you.

Wooyoung pulled you toward him, your body now facing him. He kissed your inner thigh, sucking on them softly to leave small red marks. He ripped off your underwear, throwing them to the floor.

“So fucking needy.” he cooed, sticking a finger inside of you. You whined in pleasure, the mix of the vibrations and his finger hitting your sweet spot being too much for you.

“You like that, don’t you?”

He looked up at you, watching as your mouth was left agape and nothing but small whimpers escaped it. You scrunched your eyes closed, feeling your stomach spasm at the sensations. Wooyoung pressed his thumb against your clit, rubbing it softly. He came up to you, pressing the vibrator against your nipple lightly. Your body jolted slightly, breathy moans filling the room.

“Woo,” you mumbled, your hand reaching up to grab his face.

You pulled him to you, your lips crashing against his as he let his fingers toy with your clit. Your nipples grew sore at the constant vibration, leading you to groan into each kiss. Wooyoung kissed your jawline, soon reaching your ear.

“Cum for me baby.”

His whisper felt like music to your ears and within seconds you came undone under him. Your body trembled, chest rising as you tried to catch your breath.

“That’s my sweet girl. Just like that.” He dropped to your legs, kissing your clit softly as he lapped up your juices.

You grinded softly against his tongue, attempting to push his head away. He turned the vibrator back on, placing it against your sensitive bud as his tongue fucked you. You cried out, begging him to stop as you felt the overstimulating pleasure build in your cunt. Little did you know, Wooyoung was far from done with you. He loved to play with you, tease you, see you reach new highs with his little mind games.

He turned the toy up a notch, pressing it harder against your clit. He moved it up and down, watching as you fell apart in front of him. This is exactly what he wanted, to undo your sweet soul just by his touch.

“So cute when you listen.”

Wooyoung grabbed the remote, pausing the movie and turning up the setting just one more time. You let yourself go another time, his tongue licking up the warm liquid that spilled out of you.

“Mm.. taste so good. Can’t wait to fuck this pretty cunt of yours baby.”

back to valentines masterlist

a/n: welcome to day 1 of this lovely event hehe. stay tuned for more!

taglist: @dvrktvnnel @scarfac3 @jjongibears @h4untedgrl @rvereri @joonezra @yyaurii @hwasddeongbyeoli @mingtinysworld @tiredlittlevirgo @honeyhwaaa @evidive @inniesfanblog @nopension

★ comment to be added to the taglist or fill out the form here!

[darlingdaisyfarm]

r you still open for requests? if so and if you havent done this, stan twins taking care of reader on their period? im on my period rn and i lowkey am craving for it,, /nf!!

❥ Stan & Ford taking care of you on your period headcanons <3

a/n: oh anon this one's for you and for everyone dealing with the struggle right now <333 may ur cramps be mild 🙏

STANLEY

★ “what do you mean you feel like garbage?? you were fine an hour ago! what happened?? who do I have to fight??” and when you explain, he just. OH. THAT.

★ “okay, okay, don’t freak out, but,” he digs around in some closet and pulls out a very old hot water bottle. “this thing got me through some rough winters. i hope this will, uh. . . stop the angry uterus thing.”

★ if anyone (Soos, Dipper, some poor clueless tourist) makes a dumb joke about “mood swings,” Stan will protect you. “oh, you think that’s funny? let’s see how funny it is when I lock you in the Mystery Shack bathroom for a week with no toilet paper!”

★ will not let you lift a finger. so worried about your state he physically shoves you back down if you try to do anything. “nope. nope, nuh-uh, baby, don’t even think about it.”

★ if you're dying from pain and nothing helps, he just holds you close while dramatically saying “oh sweetheart, if only nature was FAIR, it’d be me bleeding instead! why this world is so unfair????”

★ of course he buys you snacks. SO MANY SNACKS. he heard somewhere that chocolate helps, so now he’s bought four different brands of cheap chocolate bars from the gas station

“uh, i got these. one of ‘em’s gotta be the magic one, right?”

★ “old man Mcgucket says bark tea fixes everything. should we. . . should we try bark tea?”

★ once Stanley pulled out a beer and immediately regretted it. “. . . wait, no, that’s for me.”

★ ofc he cooks for you. he’s a big believer that food fixes all things, even if he doesn’t understand the science of it. makes you the heartiest, greasiest, most filling meal he can. you might not even want it but it’s the intent. it's the love. (and if you actually ask for something? he’ll make it with no hesitation)

★ you look even slightly like you’re in pain?? immediate concern. hunched over? “alright, that’s it, you’re going on the couch.” he literally herds you over with his hands on your shoulders, forces you to get comfortable. “c'mon, c'mon, up ya go. feet up. blanket on. there ya go.”

★ lovingly teases you when you cry over dumb stuff, but only a little. “you're cryin’ over a commercial? sweetie, c’mon.” wipes your tears anyway. kisses your forehead after.

★ grocery store trip. Stanley standing in the feminine hygiene aisle, he calls you from the store like, “baby, what the hell is ultra-thin? why are there WINGS on these? you gonna fly away or somethin’? :(”

★ i have a feeling he'll get the wrong ones. Stan comes home proud of himself only for you to be like Stan these are panty liners. he’s FLABBERGASTED. “they were in the same aisle!! they had the same stupid pink packaging!!”

★ eventually, he settles into his caretaking mode, ruffles your hair, makes bad jokes to make you laugh even when you feel awful. if you get emotional from the hormones he panics a little but ultimately just lets you cry on his shoulder and pats your back

★ mutters “alright, where’s it hurt, lemme at it.” then massages your lower back, rubs your stomach clumsily but gently. Stan is determined to physically get rid of your pain somehow even if that’s not how it works

★ makes you rest by putting on a movie and forcing you to stay put. he picks the weirdest mix of old action flicks, crime shows and one sappy romance he swears he doesn’t like. (he totally does.)

★ if you’re in pain he's gonna fix it. but since he can’t punch your uterus, he does the next best thing. distracts the hell outta you. "alright, sweetheart, what’s it gonna be? poker? tall tales? let's watch duck detective?”

you giggle. “Stan, just cuddle me.”

“oh, yeah, you got it, c’mere.” immediately pulls you onto his lap, wrapping his big arms around you, rocking his most precious thing in the world.

★ if you're up at 2 AM, restless from cramps, Stan notices immediately “owwh, doll, let’s getcha comfy.” guides you to the couch, sets you up with a blanket, turns on some quiet late-night TV. he stays up with you, spending sleepless night taking care of you. he sits there, rubbing your back, making sure you’re okay

in some hours more though, he falls asleep next to you, head leaning against yours

STANFORD

★ HE KNOWS BEFORE YOU DO. this man has studied interdimensional quantum phenomena. you think he hasn’t mapped out your cycle like a scientist mapping the tides???? PLEASE

“sweetheart, shouldn’t you be starting your period soon?”

“what? no?? I feel fine“ and twenty minutes later, you’re in pain

“ah. as I suspected.” Ford says

★ literally tracks it like a researcher. has a whole-ass journal with little notes. estimates symptoms, cravings, moods. he says it's because “I want to be prepared for you”.

you catch him writing in it one day. “Ford, what is that?”

he looks guilty and awkward. “a. . . documentation of your menstrual cycle?”

you take it, open it and your eyes widen. it got a whole-ass formula for predicting your moods

“wtf Ford, you made a menstrual algorithm??”

he rubs the back of his neck. “well, i wanted to ensure that i could be fully prepared for any and all symptoms—“

you’re just staring at the notes, not even listening to him. “did you seriously track that I crave sour candy more than chocolate???”

Ford pushes up his glasses. “i prefer to call it an empirical observation, yes.” next thing you do is kiss him senseless, because this nerd is the most devoted man on the planet

★ i assure you, he's already stocked up. you go to grab something and oh . . . heating pad? already plugged in. pain meds? already out on the counter. ur favorite snacks? somehow already bought. tea? brewing

★ of course! of course you'll get his lectures about periods. “did you know that menstrual cramps are caused by the uterus contracting due to prostaglandins? i read a fascinating study on ways to mitigate the pain—“ but let me tell you, he’s rambling because he’s nervous about you hurting. also because he thinks knowledge = comfort

★ his gentle hands, always. adjusting your blanket. rubbing slow circles into your back. fingertips ghosting over your forehead to check if you’re feverish

★ absolutely 100%, without a doubt, Ford takes notes on what helps you. if you ever say something like “ugh, this tea actually helps a lot” he writes that down. if you offhandedly mention “i think dark chocolate makes it better” he’s buying you ten bars of it next time.

★ he tries to keep you distracted. puts on old sci-fi movies and nerds out over them. reads aloud from a book if you want because he knows you love his voice

“did I ever tell you about the time I discovered a species that only reproduces once every ten years?” he just TALKS to you. calmly. thoughtfully. lets his voice carry you away from the pain.

★ he will stay up with you if you can’t sleep. even if he’s exhausted, even if he has research to do. if you’re in pain, he’s right there. “sleep, darling. I’ll stay up for a while. you need to rest.” strokes your hair until you do and presses a kiss to your temple when you finally drift off.

★ Ford can’t stand inefficiency. the first time he hears you complain about normal period products, he rubbed his chin, thinking. you’re uncomfortable??? with a problem that science could potentially solve???

“hmph. there must be a better way.” he disappears into his lab for hours.

★ what he makes depends on what you complain about! hate pads? “ah. they’re inefficient, bulky and uncomfortable. yes, darling, I see the flaws.”

hate tampons? “too absorbent, prone to leaking at unpredictable rates. . . fascinating, but flawed.”

cramps?? “prostaglandin-induced muscle contractions. I can work with this!”

no problem is too small. he listens to every complaint

★ “i will revolutionise menstruation, darling!” you're so proud of him. Ford is proud of himself too

★ normally, he treats you like his equal, his partner, his greatest love. but when you’re sick ohh he secretly loves having an excuse to baby you. he brings you tea and tests the temperature on his wrist before handing it over. he fluffs your pillows, tucks you in way too snug. if you groan in pain, he’s immediately alert. “what is it? what do you need? tell me, dearest, I’ll get it.”

i can't believe i wrote an entire fic from Ford's pov journaling reader's cycle, im going insane

[igorluvr]

'MAY YOU NEVER FORGET ME

PAIRING: choi su-bong (thanos) x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: depression had always been a huge issue for you, covering it up with empty joy. so what would happen if you found someone just like you, who was willing to change for your sake?

WARNINGS: heavy angst, mature themes, mental health issues, implied self harm, depression, panic attacks, insecurities, guns, negative self talk, suicidal thoughts/actions!!!!!!, main character death

AUTHORS NOTE: spoiled y’all with tm fluff, gotta remind u shit ain’t sweet round here.

words: [25k]

YOU were never truly "okay". Even though you always claimed to be, faking a smile when on the inside your whole world felt like it was collapsing. The last thing you wanted was for people to worry about you. Because if they did, they might discover the tangled mess of emotions you kept hidden away. Instead, you committed to putting on a face of bravery, drowning your pain in corny jokes and soulless smiles. While your heart still ached with that same emptiness you'd been feeling for years on end, doing this was easier than trying to explain the darkness that lurked beneath your surface.

You dreaded that one day, your facade would crack and everything would come tumbling down, revealing the emotions you tried so hard to protect everyone from. So, you continued to mask your emotions and if you let your act slip, you’d brush it off and tell them you were just tired. Every lie felt like it was putting more weight on your shoulders, but it was weight you were used to carrying.

Deep down you longed for someone to notice that you weren’t okay, to see beyond the smile and recognize the pain. But you knew that you made it almost impossible for someone to notice that anything was wrong.

Or so you thought, until you stumbled across the explosive personality of a man by the name of Thanos. Honestly, you were jealous of how well he carried himself. He seemed to be one of the only people here that was carefree, even if he is pumped with drugs. Looking at him in awe, you wondered how he did it, staying okay in a place like this.

Even though your mind was hyper focused on the eccentric man, you were completely unaware of how you stood out to him almost immediately. It wasn’t because you were annoying and obnoxious like everyone else here, it was because you two were the same.

You had some major personality differences, as you were more on the quiet and bubbly side. But Thanos used to be just like you. So the smile fading when all eyes were off of you, random mood swings, nonstop jokes, constantly tugging your sleeves down the second they rolled up, tears swelling in your eyes when nobody was around. He noticed.

He never got better, though. Just found ways of dealing with it. Using drugs and music as outlets of his depression. Thanos could tell you didn’t have anything like that, just letting all the pain seep in and build up inside of you. He wanted to help you before it got too much, how it almost did for him.

As he approached you, a confused look formed on your face. You’d never said anything to him or saw him look your way, so why was he suddenly trying to talk to you?

“What’s got you in here, babydoll?” he pondered “you look too sweet to be in any debt.”

At first, the sudden interest in your background confused you. You stared blankly for a couple seconds before remembering that you knew nobody else here, so what was the harm in opening up to this complete stranger?

“Student loan debt. Guess that’s what I get for going to an ivy league with barely any money” You laugh. Even though this was sort of a sensitive topic for you, having got into your dream school still having things going wrong, you tried to laugh about it.

Thanos could tell though. He saw the way your smile faltered a bit, how you lost the shine in your eyes. “I like you, stay close to me okay?” He said, eyes focused on you with nothing but pure intentions.

Why did he choose you of all people? There wasn’t anything interesting about your appearance, or how you acted. In that moment, as Thanos leaned back against the wall and settled in beside you, something shifted inside of you.

It was like the burden that weighed you down for so long was briefly lifted to reveal a sliver of vulnerability you kept buried for years. Maybe this strange man, with his wild presence, could see something you had long hid within yourself; a yearning for connection, a wish for someone to see and understand your struggles.

Thanos had broken through the toughness of your spirit, offering warmth and an unexpected sense of safety. Yet, the fear of being vulnerable with anyone haunted over you like a storm cloud, ready to unleash the emotions and secrets you had kept buried.

“Okay then,” Thanos said, breaking the heavy silence, “What’s the full story? It can’t just be student loans and bad choices. You look like you're carrying a world on those shoulders. But hey, I’m no therapist, just an expert in not fitting in.” His laughter was contagious and the sincerity of his tone made you wonder about the details of his own struggles.

Still, despite how much you wanted to reach out, start crying and finally release the burden you'd been carrying so long, you clung to the familiar comfort of masking how you felt, shooting him a quick smile that fell just short of genuine. It was easier to laugh it off than to reveal the chaos waiting inside.

But Thanos wasn’t easily fooled. He leaned in closer, his eyes sparkling with curiosity and sympathy. “You know, I used to think if i pushed everything down and ignored it, nobody else would notice my problems, too.” he said with a hint of vulnerability, “So I can see right through your little act sweetheart.”

You wanted to roll your eyes at the nickname but found the corner of your mouth lifting in a slight smile. Maybe it was the way his sincerity cut through your heart, or how his presence somehow felt comforting, like a thick warm blanket swallowing your body on a chilly day.

Thanos noticed your slight grin and raised an eyebrow, his own growing wider. “See? That’s the smile I like to see, we’re making progress here.” He nudged your shoulder lightly with his large ringed hand. “Come on I won’t bite, open up a little bit. Tell me about yourself like... what do like doing in your free time?”

You chuckled softly, caught off guard by his eagerness. “Um… I guess I like listening to music?” Music was one of the ways you ignored everything. As soon as you put your headphones in, it seemed like the world turned to a blur and your thoughts finally silence.

Thanos nodded, leaning back slightly, as if giving you the space to breathe yet still holding you in his gaze. “Music, huh? I get you. There’s something powerful about it. Like… a way we can hear what our voices can’t always express” he observed, seeming more immersed.

You could feel the walls you had carefully built around your emotions start to break, the cracks appearing as you considered sharing more. “Yeah, it’s like an escape” you admitted, voice softening “When everything else gets too loud, it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

He smiled gently, and you could tell he understood the depth of your words. “I get that,” he spoke gently, “It feels good to be able to… find the rhythm in chaos.” His eyes glazed over for a split second, lost in thought, before focusing back on you. “I used to write. Rhymes and lyrics, they were a way to process everything. Like my own therapy session, but with a beat.”

The way he spoke so passionately about making rhymes piqued your curiosity. You didn't take him as the creative type, definitely not poems or lyrics, but there was something about the way he mentioned it that made you want to know more. “You wrote music?” you asked, your tone neutral, but your interest piqued.

Thanos chuckled, low, and rumbling. “Still do, from time to time. Used to be big doing it but that got cut off pretty fast. Tried to let it go but… it's a part of me.” He leaned forward, his eyes taking on an intense glare. “There's something about putting words to a beat that just clicks. Like everything finally makes sense, y'know?”

You found yourself drawn into his passion, the way he spoke about music, it was infectious. And before you knew it, you were smiling again. Feeling a sense of connection with this stranger that you couldn't quite put your finger on.

You leaned in, curiosity taking control of you. “What do you mean it got cut off?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper. There was something about how his voice sounded when he said it, as if it were hit with an ache of longing and nostalgia, that made you want to know more.

Thanos’ gaze drifted off, his eyes clouding over like he was remembering something stowed deep into his mind. “I was in a competition, a rap contest” he began, his voice low and cautious. “I made it to the finale, but I fucked up. Forgot my lyrics on live TV.” He chuckled, a dry, humorless sound that sent a wave of sympathy through you. “It was a pretty public embarrassment. After that, I just… lost my drive, I guess. Didn’t feel like I could face the music scene again.”

You tilt your head, your eyes brimming with compassion as imagine how bad Thanos must've felt. “I get why you’d feel that way,” you said gently, trying to offer some advice, “But if music clearly still means a lot to you, why did you stop doing it completely?” you asked with your eyes locked on his, searching for answers in his gaze.

Thanos’ gaze snapped back to yours, like a fire igniting within them. “It’s hard to explain,” he said with a hint of roughness in his voice, “When you're up on that stage, with all those people watching you, and you mess up… it feels like you’re failing in front of the whole world. And for me, it wasn’t just about the music. It was about the persona, the image. When I messed up, it felt like I was losing myself too.” He paused, taking a breath to calm his nerves down. “But even after all this time, I still find myself writing. Like my brain's hardwired to respond to music.”

You felt a connection deepening between you, an understanding that passed the surface-level. “So, do you think you’ll ever perform again?”

Thanos hesitated, his eyes washing over with uncertainty. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice defeated. “Part of me misses it. The thrill of the stage, the energy of the crowd, it was amazing. But I'm also just scared. That failure keeps haunting over me, I don't wanna feel like that again.”

His honesty struck a chord within you. You could see the struggle all on his face, and it made you wish you could help him find that spark again. “It sounds like you're still searching for closure. Maybe you need to reconnect with it,” you suggested tentatively, hoping to encourage him. “Music doesn’t have to be about the fame or the competition. It can just be… for you.”

His eyes twinkled with hope, looking up at you with admiration. "Thank you, seriously," he spoke up, "Never had anyone look out for me like that." Suddenly he grabbed your hand and pulled you closer, his grip warm and reassuring.

From that moment on, you knew you'd made a friend for life. You went everywhere together, always grouping up during games and making sure each other were safe. The two of you were truly inseparable. That was, until the morning of the final game.

There were only 40 contestants left. Having lost many people close to you, shivers ran down your spine as you thought what the last mission would be. Almost every night, you had panic attacks and could barely sleep. After the 2nd game, you and Thanos moved your beds by each other in hopes of it helping the both of you calm down. Tonight, was one of the worst nights for you.

You laid in the dim scenery of the sleeping quarters, blue and red lights bouncing off of the bed frames. Your heart pounded like a drum with each beat echoing your unspoken fears. The weight of uncertainty felt as if it were crushing you, a terrible foreshadowing of the next game looming over your head.

Shadows deepened around you, contorting into horrifying shapes that mirrored the anxieties pounding at your mind. Your breaths came in quick gasps, each one capturing less air than the last. The suffocating fear of what was to come spun out of control.

You tried all the methods that helped in the past, but you couldn't focus on anything. Sweat drenched your body as the oxygen in the room seemed as it were running away from you. In your mind, all you could see were those bodies. All the blood and screams. Only one thought could form in your mind 'what if that were me?'

Beside you, Thanos stirred around, feeling the tension radiating from your body. He turned to face you, eyes flickering open, immediately aware that something was wrong. “Hey,” he murmured softly yet urgently, “what’s going on?”

You had felt the tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you whispered, “I can’t… I can’t do this. I’m so scared, Thanos. What if something happens? What if I—what if you.. die?” The words stuttered out in a rush, drenched with panic, the thought of losing him cutting through your heart like a knife.

Thanos’ expression shifted from sleepy to one of deep concern as he moved closer, his presence a calming force against the storm inside you. He gently took your hands inside his, relaxed and cautiously, and held them tightly. “Listen to me,” he said, voice low and soothing, “You’re not alone in this. I promise I’m going to do everything I can to keep us safe, both of us.”

Your breath hitched, but his gaze stayed on yours. “Remember what we talked about? We’ve been through so much together already. We can get through this too. No game is going to take me from you, not now, not ever.”

His words had felt like a lifeline, restoring you back to the world as you clung to them. You searched his eyes, your heart aching at the truth of what was unspoken between you. “But w-what if I lose you?” you choked out, vulnerable and exposed.

“I’ll fight like hell to make sure that doesn’t happen” he replied, “We’re in this together. I’m not just fighting for myself, I’m fighting for you, for us.” He leaned in closer, his forehead resting gently against yours. “I won’t let anything break us apart. I… I love you.”

His words floated in the air, a fragile yet meaningful phrase that cut through the thick tension of the moment. Your heart stuttered in your chest, caught off guard by the intensity and sincerity in Thanos’ voice.

You swore off of telling anybody that for a long time. But still, you couldn't help but feel the warmth radiating between you, a spark of connection glowing in the darkness. A wave of emotions crashed over you, joy and confusion mixing in a twister of emotions.

For a split second, all of your worries vanished. What laid ahead, the uncertainty of the games, the horrifying fear of loss. All of it faded away with just his 3 words. You swallowed hard, the weight of your anxiety lifting just enough to let something else in; love.

“Thanos…” you said softly, voice trembling as you searched his gaze. The reality of what he said sank in, wrapping around your heart like a warm embrace. You took a breath, steadying your breath, and met his unwavering expression with your own. “I love you too,” you whispered, the words flowing from your heart as if they had always been there, waiting for the right moment to break free.

As soon as you had said it, a wave of relief washed over you. You could see the way his eyes lit up, reflecting authenticity and openness. In that moment, as he pulled you closer, the world outside felt a little less overwhelming. “Us against the world” he muttered into your neck, sealing the bond between you two.

In the safety of his embrace, you lifted your face, letting your forehead rest against his as the tension began to disperse. “No matter what happens, I'm gonna fight for us” you said, your voice steadier now, strengthened by the love that filled the space between you.

His smile widened, showing the strength of his determination in his eyes. “You’re my everything. I won’t let these stupid games take that away from us” he reassured, brushing his thumb along your cheek.

As you sat there, taking in his presence, you felt like it was the perfect time to ask him something that had been on your mind the last week or so. "Thanos," you spoke up, causing his eyes to meet yours again, "what made you come up to me that day?"

His gaze softened a bit, looking down as to avoid eye contact with you. "Well, to be honest, I'm just like you." He admitted. Your eyebrows furrowed, confused as to what he was referring to.

"Y'know, I noticed it as soon as I saw you. I could tell you weren't okay up there, and this place isn't somewhere to be in that state" Oh. You thought you did a good job at hiding it, were you really letting your mask slip that much?

As soon as your mind started racing, Thanos placed his hands on your shoulders. "Hey, its okay. You didn't make it obvious or nothin'. I just didn't want you to get in a bad headspace and not give it your all. I could tell you're strong." He said, eyes flicking down to your wrists.

Quickly, you jerk your arms back. Shit, did they show? You looked back up at Thanos with tears in your eyes, terrified of what he'd think of you now that he saw who you really are. Weak and pathetic

"No no, Its okay. They're beautiful. Shows that you never give up, no matter what." Thanos comforted, face turning pale near the last part. "I'm jealous."

The tears started falling as you took in his words of validation. After years of trying to hide the scars, you finally felt like they were a declaration of your strength rather than a source of shame.

"I've never told anyone this, but now seems like the right time, yea?" He started, causing you to put your full attention on him "You saw my video, right? Of me playing ddakji?"

You chuckled for a bit, "Yea, it was pretty hard to miss"

"Right," he laughed, with a hint of pain. "Before that recruiter found me, I was on a bridge. I felt like I was at the end of my story, ready to let go. Nothing mattered anymore. I lost everything that made me happy. My job, my money, my sense of purpose. I thought I had tried everything else, and there was no other way out."

He took a deep breath, his gaze drifting out toward the blank room. “But then he came out of nowhere, with that stupid fancy suit. He asked if i wanted to play ddakji. Said if I won, he'd give me 100,000 won. It wasn't a lot but its better than nothing right?"

His eyes met yours, a flicker of resistance igniting within them. “I thought, what’s the worst that could happen? If I lost, I’d still be back where I started. But if I won… maybe there was hope after all.”

He ran a hand through his wild purple hair, a mix of relief and regret washing over him. “I never thought calling that number would lead me here, to this moment. It’s crazy how a simple choice can change everything. Y'know, it’s in our darkest moments that we find the light. I’m still scared, but I’m fighting now. For myself, and for those who can’t fight anymore.”

"But I saw you still had that fight in you, you just needed a push. And I wanted to be that for you" Thanos sighed.

Even more tears ran down your face but this time, the same went for him. You never thought that someone would actually take this much effort, especially in a situation like this, to look out for you. You didn't think you mattered that much to anyone.

The two of you laid down in your now shared bed, holding each other tight as to not lose one another, and slowly drifted into sleep.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

As the lights slammed on and intercom went off, you felt a familiar void in your stomach. As if on cue, Thanos rubbed your hand gently, bringing you immediate comfort. "Im right here, baby. N' Im not goin anywhere." A slight warmth rushed to your face as his words replayed in your head, maybe everything was gonna be okay after all.

You waited for what seemed like hours for them to bring food out, but it never came. It seemed as if you were getting less and less food as time went on. Was this on purpose to make everyone weaker? You didn't know, but it was definitely taking a toll on you.

Both of you stayed within an arms length of eachother the whole time. Even until they announced everyone to line up to enter the final game.

Thanos walked directly infront of you, holding your hand as you made your way through the stairs splattered with an arrangement of colors. The first time you walked though them, it seemed so colorful and full of life. Now, it just seemed dull.

As you walked into the near pitch-black room with red led lights tracing the walls, you felt your heart drop. Something wasn't right. Your stomach turned in a terrifying way as you held onto Thanos, scared of what's to come.

He's learned your behavior and what your actions mean, causing him to pull you closer. Thanos was aware of how easy you get anxious, and how bad it can get. And he felt as if was his job to protect you from all your worries.

Unbeknownst to you, though, Thanos felt the exact same way. He didn't know exactly what it was, but something about this particular game felt uneasy. In an attempt to stay strong for you, he cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Don't let go of me okay? Its dark as shit in here I can barely see" He laughed, trying his best to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Your palms got sweatier by the second as the both of you walked deeper into the room, occasionally bumping into people. Eventually, you heard the instructions come on the speaker.

"Please, split into 4 equal groups based off of your previous votes. Two "X" groups of 10, Two "O" groups of 10. You have 5 minutes" Immediately after, the red lights started blaring, just how they did during the mingle game. Your heart stopped as you heard that. Thanos hadn't gotten a chance to change his vote, were the two of you going to be separated during the final game?

“No!” you cried out, the word bursting from your lips like a desperate plea, hoping something, anything will change. “Thanos, we can't—”

“I know,” he interrupted, his eyes wide with fear, reflecting the same mix of urgency and determination as your own. “We got to find our groups before it’s too late.”

Why? Why was this happening now? Your mind raced as panic set in. The room felt stifling, the air thick with dread and uncertainty. You could feel the tension radiating off the players around you, their whispers and shuffling feet blending into a chaotic symphony of anxiety.

The chilling announcement echoed in your ears “4 minutes remain”

You could feel the pull of the frenzied crowd, the inevitable separation haunting you like a distant nightmare. You pushed through the horde, each step heavier than the last, your heart racing as you caught a glimpse of something, a cluster of players forming with that familiar 'X' patch on their chests.

“Thanos, look!” you shouted, your eyes locking onto the group that was gathered before you. “That’s my group!”

“Go, I’ll find mines.” Thanos urged, his grip on your hand loosening even though his eyes fought against losing you. “Just remember what we talked about. Keep pushing even if it seems impossible. Ill be waiting for you when we get out.”

Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes, but you began to pull away from him. “I can’t believe this is happening...” you whispered to yourself as the despair finally settled in.

With a final hug, his warmth wrapping around you like a comforting blanket, your hands slipped apart. The distance between you suddenly felt colossal, the amount of space between the both of you increasing with each passing player. Thanos was officially lost to the shadows.

Your heart pounded alarmingly in your chest as you joined the half of your “X” group, forcing yourself to focus despite the panic. You scanned the players, assessing the strength of the new faces around you. Were they reliable? Would they betray you?

A few familiar players joined the formation alongside you, Dae-ho and Jun-hee murmuring quiet reassurances to one another. “We can do this,” The taller man said, eyes darting around the group as the tension thickened.

But as more players continued to merge into smaller clusters, the reality set in, you had to push forward alone, even if your lover felt impossibly distant.

Just as you were being further swept into a crowd of new allies, the loudspeaker croaked out another instruction yet again. “Participants, please stick closely with your chosen group. As you do this, make your way towards the door ahead.”

You took a deep breath, shaky with uncertainty. The door ahead shone like a gateway to the unknown. The murmurs of strategizing and encouragement filled the air, a strange mix of comfort and anxiety filled your body as you tried to tune out everything around you.

Dae-ho nudged you gently, his voice steadying. “Stay focused. We’ll work together and beat this, okay?”

You nodded, trying to quell the rising tide of anxiety overwhelming you. “Yeah” You muttered, hearing your heartbeat in your ears, a persistent reminder of the stakes. As each group stepped closer to the door, the pink soldier with a bold circle on it's mask stopped everyone.

"Which group will be going first?" The soldier spoke, in a slightly distorted voice.

After a couple seconds of quiet mutters between every team, the leader of the other X group, the man from the previous games, spoke up.

"We'll go. This might be similar to a game I've done" He announced. Your group swiftly moved out of the way to allow his team to go. One by one, they walked through the door. As soon as the final member made their way through, the mechanical door forced shut, cutting off any view of the inside.

Waiting felt like an eternity. The tension in the air grew thicker as each team member shifted nervously. You could sense the anxiety growing in them. Whispers arose among your group, forming predictions on what may be beyond that door, but none could compare to the despair of reality.

About 10 minutes after the first group entered, they began calling for the next one. As your team was next in line, the guard signaled you all to go inside the door. Your heart dropped as you gave Thanos a final look back, tears in your eyes as you dread what's to come.

The scene infront of you was immersive. The room was bright, like a carnival. There were big glowing lights everywhere. As you stepped through the door, a chilling rush of air slapped against your face, carrying with it an overwhelming sense of dread. Before you knew it, the line of people suddenly stopped, causing you to faceplant into the person before you.

"Wait!" Someone yelled, "We're on a platform.."

As you peaked around the group, you saw how high up you were. There were horizontal poles coming from the ceiling, resembling something that you knew all too well.

"Welcome players. Allow me to introduce you to the sixth and final game: Monkey Bars. The rules are simple. Every member of your team must traverse a series of monkey bars before the timer hits zero. But beware, missing a bar and falling will result in immediate elimination."

As murmurs of fear rippled through the group, you took a deep breath to steady yourself. Even though Thanos had been drawn away, you couldn’t afford to lose. You needed to use all of your strength to complete this game while holding onto hope that you would see him again.

But deep in your gut, you feared that fate had other plans.

You glanced down, your heart racing as you tried to make sense of the distance to the ground. It felt like a dizzying drop, one wrong move could mean the end of everything you fought so hard for. Your teammates exchanged worried glances, each of them struggling with their own fears and doubts.

You could hear the faint beeping in the background, the sound growing louder with each passing second. The adrenaline rushed through your veins as you clenched your fists, surveying the area once more so you fully understand what you're getting yourself into.

As the countdown hit zero, the timer's blaring sound echoed through the venue like a gunshot, triggering a surge of chaos. One by one, players launched themselves onto the first bar, swinging forward with determination. They attempted to coordinate their movements, using a tactic similar to the one in the 6-legged race.

With the rhythm of jumping every two counts guiding them, you carefully watched as some moved gracefully while others struggled and faltered, their cries of panic bouncing off the walls. The sight of watching your peers slowly fall to their death put a sick feeling in your stomach, the mushy 'splat!' as they hit the floor making you want to throw up.

Before you knew it, it was your turn. The immense pit of fear in your stomach twisted tighter as you leapt forward, grasping the first bar with both hands. The initial swing was thrilling yet terrifying, anxiety clawing at you with the fear of falling. You forced yourself to stay focused. Inch by inch, you moved, feeling the strain in your muscles as you reached for the next bar.

“Come on, keep going!” someone shouted from behind you, their encouragement pushing you forward. Each bar you grabbed felt like a small victory, but you knew you still had much more to go, taking tiny glimpses at the amount of bars left. You could hear gasps from teammates behind you after slipping off a bar, causing them to fall and add to the pile of gruesome bodies gathering below you.

Seeing all those bodies at the bottom caused your overthinking to kick in at the absolute wrong time. What if you fell? What if you died? Desperation clawed at you as you reached the halfway point. The metal bars were slick with sweat and your palms felt numb, grip faltering. But the thought of Thanos pushed you onward, a reminder of everything you had to lose—and everything you were fighting for.

From then on, with every swing, hope swelled within you. This could be the moment that changed everything. That fleeting memory of Thanos pushed you further than you ever thought. You remembered his words "Keep pushing even if it seems impossible." and it fueled you like never before. Your heart raced, a mix of determination and dread flooding through you.

Taking a deep breath, you used every ounce of determination in you and pushed forward once more. With one final pull, you swung to the last bar, the end platform finally coming into view.

As you landed safely, a rush of euphoria washed over you. You’d made it! The cheers from your team resonated around you, but there was no time for celebration just yet. You turned back to the others, knowing that many were still grappling with their own struggles.

“Keep going!” you shouted, your voice hoarse but filled with fervor. “You can do this!”

With your encouragement, you watched as your teammates found the strength to push themselves forward, unified in the fight for survival in this relentless game. Hope flickered within you, a feeling you wished would carry all of you to victory.

As your team finished the challenge, you felt your nerves calm down. There were some that didn't make it, but the majority did and you were happy for that. The timer still had a minute and 20 seconds left, everyone spent their time talking and calming down. One thing that confused you, though, was that the other half of the 'X' group was still there from when they finished. If they completed the game, shouldn't they be able to go back to their own room?

Just as the thought started to worry you, the buzzer rang through the room, signaling that your remaining time was now up. You expected to be taken to the sleeping quarters, but there were no guards, not even a door on the side you stood on.

The first half of the 'O' group walked through the entrance, and your heart exploded as you saw a face you grew to love. It was Thanos. You could see a familiar intensity etched across his brow. He was in his element, ready to confront the challenge ahead.

The second you locked eyes, his face glowed in admiration. Time seemed to freeze as the noise around you faded, leaving only the two of you in that moment.

Your exchanged gazes were cut off by the blaring buzzer, signaling the start of his team’s round. He straightened his posture, expression changing swiftly from admiration to fierce determination. With a quick glance back at you, he locked eyes one last time. A silent promise passed between you, he would give his absolute all.

Soon enough, the familiar purple head of hair caught your attention. He was about to start. It felt like you were the one on the bars as you watched him make his way across. As he took a deep breath and launched himself into the challenge, it was like the ground beneath you shifted. You were completely focused, holding your breath with each swing he took.

Every struggle and grunt made you flinch. Watching the players make their way across the stage, you tried to distract yourself from the fact that your boyfriend was right behind them, fighting for his life.

Even though he seemed to be making it across fairly okay your heart still beat profusely. At some point, you decide to turn away altogether, saving yourself from the pain of watching. While you sat there with your eyes glued closed, trying to shield yourself from the people before you, you feel a tap on your shoulder.

Slowly, you pull your head up, not wanting to face reality. But the person you were stressing so much over was standing right infront of you. Thanos stood there, a mix of adoration and relief flooding his face.

His chest rose and fell rapidly, proving how much the previous game had tired him. You could see faint layer of sweat glistening against the harsh lights above, but none of that really mattered. What mattered was the warmth in his eyes as he leaned in closer, hugging you tightly as to calm himself down.

“You okay?” His voice was soft yet urgent, a contrast to the loudness of the everything around you. With this, you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I was watching, It was..”

“I know,” he interrupted gently, a soft smile creeping onto his lips. “But I’m here now.”

Your heart swelled, despite the noise and yells from the crowds around you. It was such a relief to see him unharmed, standing tall and ready for anything. The moment slowed as you both just stared at each other, words slipping away.

Unfortunately, your moment got cut off, like always, by the instrusive 10 minute timer going off. While the next group made their way in, the two of you just laid there, taking in each others presence before the games ended, for good.

It felt like you were floating, like nothing around you mattered and the two of you were the only people on earth. As you drifted deeper into this peaceful haven you knew that nothing could ever break the bond that you shared with Thanos, a bond that was forged in tough times and deep emotions.

But as they say, there's always a calm before the storm.

The final team completed the challenge before you knew it, and the whole room erupted with cheers. We were finally able to go home. This whole time, all the tears and fighting was worth it. Thanos kissed you passionately as to celebrate the win, or what seemed like a win.

All of the applause were cut short by that nerve-wracking intercom coming back on. "Dear contestants, congratulations on completing the first part of the game! 24 players now remain."

Your heart stopped as you heard those words. First part..? Didn't we finish the games? You looked up at Thanos in disbelief, hoping to get some type of comfort. Instead, you were met with a face of pure terror.

All the color was drained from his cheeks as his mouth hung open out of shock, he looked like he'd just seen a ghost. Panic surged through you, overpowering the joy of victory. You exchanged glances with the others in the room, confusion and dread painting their faces, mirroring your own fears.

The intercom continued, its voice cold and mechanical. “The rules for Phase 2 are the same as Phase 1: There is a time limit of 25 minutes for all remaining players to return to the opposite side of the room. Please proceed with caution.”

25 minutes? That isn't nearly enough time to get everyone across. Your uneasiness grew as players started to shuffle around in worry, adding onto your anxiety of already being high up. The timer blared through the room, signaling the start of phase 2.

Player 456 took initiative and stepped infront of everyone, coming up with a plan. "Everyone, follow my lead. A person will join in every 3 bars, be careful and don't panic. It will slow you down and cause everyone to mess up."

Soon after his speech, he took a leap onto the bar, causing the countdown to begin. Everyone followed his orders, joining in every 3 bars. It was all going smoothly up until it was nearing your turn.

You watched as the team excelled, most pushing though the dismay and making it to the end. Others weren't as lucky, losing their grip and falling to their deaths.

Thanos insisted on going after you, claiming it would help him stay focused and remember what he’s fighting for. You agreed quickly, finding his words endearing, completely oblivious to the true reason for his actions.

Unbeknownst to you, Thanos had gotten an arm injury in one of the previous games, which progressively worsened. He didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to worry any more, but he could feel himself losing strength. Especially with this final game being physical, Thanos knew this was his last chance to be with you.

Instead of telling you his true feelings, that he was sure this would be his last time seeing you, he decided to protect your heart for now. After all, isn’t that what he approached you to do?

As the person before you made their way onto the bars, Thanos pulled you in for a tight, unknowingly final hug. You weren’t sure why he did this, or why it felt so much more different, but you appreciated it.

“Please, try your hardest okay? Don’t give up no matter what.” He muttered, face stuffed in the crook of your neck. Before waiting for a response, he gently grasped your face with both hands and pressed his lips against yours in a long, passionate kiss that left you breathless.

His mouth moved with a desperate urgency, as if savoring every second you had left together. The kiss was like a goodbye, a promise of forever that lingered even as it came to an end.

You jumped on the bar, full of life. All your strength kicked in at this moment as you used Thanos’ words to power you through. The muscles in your arms burned as you worked through the challenge, but his presence fueled your determination. You couldn’t let him down. Not now.

The crowd roared around you, their cheers blending into a rhythmic chant that kept pace with your heartbeat. Looking back at Thanos, you saw his face pale with anxiety. You wanted to assure him that everything would be alright, but you were too focused on pushing past your limits.

As the minutes ticked by and the final bar loomed ahead, you felt doubt creep in—what if you weren’t strong enough? What if all the fighting, all the trouble from the last games led to this moment and you were about to fail?

You took a final look back, wanting to see Thanos' face in hopes of it pushing you through the last half of the course, but instead get met with a face of sheer terror. Thanos' face was full of raw desperation, his eyes wide and glistening with an unsettling mix of fear and disbelief.

The usually relaxed lines of his jaw tightened, showing a weakness that sharply contrasted with his earlier mood. Unbeknownst to you, this was the moment he finally understood the weight of his looming defeat. He knew the end had come, but why did it have to be with you right in front of him?

Thanos' arms buckled as he attempted to push through, to use all his remaining energy to make it to the end. Each swing grew heavier as the bars beneath his hands grew slick with sweat. His heart raced, not just from the pressure but from the dread settling in his gut. A shadow of hopelessness flickered through his mind.

“This can’t be it,” he thought, clenching his jaw as he struggled to swing himself forward. Not like this. Not now. His gaze flickered to you, hanging off the bar 3 ahead of him, eyes wide with concern and shimmering with tears.

Memories of your laughter echoed through his mind, light and warm against the harsh reality of these games. He remembered those nights spent talking about dreams and futures, the plans you constructed together so effortlessly. All the times you had smiled at him, with that light in your eyes that made his heart swell, igniting a fire deep within him that he didn’t know he had left.

But now, did it even matter? The cruel thought twisted in his chest like a knife. He fought through so much, lost everything, only to get this close to the one thing he wanted most; true, undeniable love. And now it felt like sand slipping through his fingers, the more he struggled, the more he was losing.

As he swung on the next bar, his grip faltered for just a moment, and unlike every other time before, he felt fragility creep into his bones. The voice within him began to scream, demanding him to give up, that it was all over. Why keep fighting when the odds felt impossible?

But he had to move, for you. He gritted his teeth, forcing his body forward, fatigue clinging to him like a leech. With every swing, he felt a crack in his pride, a familiar emptiness growing in him as his thoughts flooded with anxieties.

He remembered the warmth of your hands in his, the gentle touch that made every battle feel worth it. Each moment spent with you had become a lifeline in this place, a source of hope he never thought he would have again.

As he took another swing, desperation fueled him, but quickly it faded. His muscles trembled, stabs of pain shooting through him. A vision of you, radiant and pure, tugged at his heart, and a sob caught in his throat. This was truly the end for him.

You tried not to turn back, hearing how much Thanos was struggling. You didn't want to see him like that. As the fight to the end continued you only had one thing on your mind; how happy the two of you would be after all this.

As you moved forward, a raspy voice came from behind you. "No…" Thanos murmured. Overcome by curiosity, you glanced back slightly. What you saw brought tears to your eyes.

You saw Thanos clutching the bar tightly with raw desperation, the last ounce of strength draining from him. He locked eyes with you, wanting nothing more but to keep going for you, his girl. But before he could think further, his body betrayed him. His fingertips slipped, a sudden loss of control, and time felt like it stretched endlessly.

Every memory, every smile, every hopeful dream flickered through your mind. The plans you had made, the laughter you shared, the quiet moments when everything else faded away and it was just the two of you.

But now, with horror pinching at your heart, you watched him fall. In that split second before he vanished from your sight, you saw the mix of fear and regret cross his face. It was a sight you would never forget, a moment where everything he had fought for clashed with the dreaded reality of loss.

As he disappeared from view, you felt your heart shatter into a thousand pieces. The warmth of your shared moments was replaced by an empty void, every hope for a future together gone in an instant. The world around you moved on, but you were frozen, trying to grasp the reality of what just happened.

You watched as Thanos, your first true love, fell to the ground becoming nothing more than another body added to the pile below. You faltered, unable to tear your gaze from the spot where he had been.

And in those final moments, as he hit the ground, with a pain that felt both devastating and liberating, he saw your face flash before him, etched forever in the depths of his heart. A love that would transcend even death. For a heartbeat more, he hoped that you would find your way through this cruel world, even if he could not be there to protect you.

A suffocating silence enveloped you, an immense contrast to the chaos that had erupted just moments before. The fight within you dispersed, replaced by a crushing sense of helplessness. Your only reason to keep going had just faded. You sloppily pushed your way to the end, fighting the urge to simply give up.

Finishing the challenge didn't excite you anymore. As you heard the announcement stating the end of the games, all you could think about was how you just lost the only person worth fighting for.

You could've did something, anything. Why him? Why couldn't it be you? The whole experience was bittersweet. As the screen displayed the amounts of money everyone would receive, there was no sense of happiness within you. Just a hole in your heart, one only Thanos could fill.

But now he's gone and you feel worse than ever. You didn't care about the money anymore. Sure, you were no longer in debt, but it wasn't worth losing your best friend. The money felt like an insult, a shallow victory overshadowed by the emptiness left in his death.

The days drag on. Every morning, you wake up hoping things will feel different, but the same sadness greets you like an unwanted shadow. You feel lost in a world that keeps moving forward while you’re frozen in the moment where you lost it all.

Eventually, the sadness becomes overwhelming, and you find yourself spiraling back into darker thoughts. Feelings of hopelessness creep in, and it’s hard to escape them. You start to think that maybe it would be easier if you just didn’t have to feel anything at all. That maybe not being here would take away the pain for good, and you catch yourself wondering if anyone would truly miss you.

Those thoughts frighten you, but they also exist in the quiet moments when everything else feels unbearable. In the times where there nothing to focus on but your thoughts and trauma, you wonder if it's worth it.

Nobody would care. Family hasn't called in months, friends cut you off. You were an embarrassment to be around. The thoughts kicked in harder, and you started to think of plans. Time, place, and opportunity; those were the 3 key things you needed to consider if you went trough with it.

But as you sit there, a small flicker of doubt creeps in. You remember how you used to laugh, how you once loved to share stories and connect with others. Remembering these times, your heart aches at how you took it for granted.

You would give anything to go back to those days. When you didn't have to worry about debt, being able to go out with friends everyday. Now the world seemed gray and lifeless. You felt like a ghost, simply floating through the stages of life, not truly taking in anything.

A week passes since you've been out the house, and you still haven't left your bed. The sheets cling to you like a magnet, but they suffocate you too. You haven’t showered in days, the thought of standing beneath the water feeling like an unruly task. Instead, you find comfort in the bundle of your blankets, where you can hide from the world and the relentless demands of life.

Your body feels sluggish as hunger pangs occasionally reminding you of your needs, but preparing food or even grabbing a snack seems overwhelming. It’s easier to ignore it, to push it aside and focus on trying to silence the chaos in your mind. You scroll endlessly through your phone, searching for distractions, but nothing holds your attention. You feel disconnected, like there's a glass wall between you and everything else.

Another week passes, the same exhausting loop continuing. Everything was genuinely draining, and you were tired of it. Breathing felt like a chore, and you could barely find the strength to get on your phone. So, you decided that it was time. Time for all your thoughts to silence and pain to finally stop.

You remembered the gun you kept in your bedside drawer, for "safety" reasons. It was never put to use, so maybe now was the time. Picking it up, you made sure it was fully loaded. You didn't want to regret this, not after everything that's happened.

Being your first time out the house in weeks, you drove to a faraway forest, making sure it was in a desolate place nobody would even think of visiting. The drive was about 2 hours long, causing it to be pitch black upon arrival. There hadn't been any cars for the past 45 minutes of driving, just how you wanted.

As you picked up your phone for the first time in almost a week, you noticed that there were hardly any notifications. It became clear that they really didn’t care. Looking up slightly, you noticed the time "11:38". Time, place, and opportunity.

All you could think about was Thanos. You'd promised him not to give up, but you had to. You thought back to his previous words, "it’s in our darkest moments that we find the light." Hearing his words repeat in your head made you realize, he was your light.

He'd came out of nowhere, sweet-talking you and washing all your worries away. For that week you'd known eachother, you were the happiest you'd been in a while. There wasn't a single time you considered doing something awful to yourself.

But now that he's gone, it seemed like you were in worse shape than before. You were bad, but not enough to be standing in the middle of the woods with nothing but your phone and a gun.

You shivered as the cool air from the wind hit your face. The dark, silent setting brought you uneasiness. You were finally alone. Raising the firearm to your head, your mind started racing. Was this really it? Is this how it ends?

The weight of the gun brought fatigue to your weak arm, being severely malnourished and exhausted. You felt horrible to break Thanos' promise, not being able to keep pushing anymore. The guilt hit you like a bus.

Suddenly, all your emotion intensified by a hundred. You felt a mix of anger and depression swirl though your body as you gripped the gun tighter. Every negative feeling abruptly switched onto you, leaving you with nothing but self-loathing.

Without thinking, you pulled the trigger. You felt a flash of agonizing pain as the thick bullet pierced through your skull. All of your pain was swiftly replaced with absolute serenity, as if the chaos of your life had finally unraveled.

As your awareness faded away, all you could think about was Thanos. How he held you when you started panicking, understood your body language, and connected with you like no one else did.

You'd reunite with him for good this time.

[unabletonotlovesatoru]

“ interlinked ”

.°⋆🖇₊ synopsis: nanami kento, a hardened field agent, has his world flipped upside down when his friend shoko gifts him a recently developed android after an injury sidelines him. you, designed with advanced ai, are curious and eager to learn about human emotions, but as you form a bond with nanami, he begins to feel something deeper for you. though he struggles with you being an android, your connection grows as you navigate moments of tenderness, confusion, and quiet affection. can a human truly love something that isn’t? and will your bond survive the impossible choices that lie ahead?

.°⋆🖇₊ tl;dr: non-curse au! where nanami is an agent, working for government’s protective services, and you are a newly developed android, gifted to him to take care of him.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ teddy’s notes: GUYSSS PLEASE GIVE THIS A CHANCE!!! i put a lot of effort and time into writing this, no joke, this is also a love letter to nanami heheh. also cr to the artist on the banner.

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ content warning(s): wc 16,764(wowzer), angst, fluff, soo much angst and fluff, slow burn, NSFW, nanami does a lot of paperwork, also you’re a clueless cutie and discovering the world. yes nanami has sex with android!you, when referring to you “she/her” is used by other people in the story, this is just a fantasy guys don’t take this seriously!! also kind of a character death. enjoy!!

“you won’t be able to get away like you did last time, you know?” a lengthy exhale escaped shoko’s chest, the string of words muttering under her breath as she examined the scar on the left side of his face.

nanami ignored her words, the only indication of him hearing the doctor’s words being the deepening crease between his brows. instead, he focused on the white wall in front of him, finding it a lot more interesting than he did two weeks ago when he first woke up in this room, in the medical wing of his agency’s headquarters.

“nanami,” she tried again, gloved hands tilting his head towards herself as she gave him an exasperated look. “haibara will be suspended too if he provides you with information on upcoming missions.”

he clicked his tongue in irritation as he gently pushed her hands away from himself, letting out a heavy sigh. well, shit.

the “last time” shoko was talking about was about 2 months ago, when he unknowingly acquired a concussion and internal bleeding in his abdomen, and despite shoko’s and director yaga’s instructions to not go out of his home for at least 10 days nanami managed to sneak out into some of the missions. how did he know anything about missions? haibara, of course.

convincing his long-time friend and colleague to send him any documents was not a hard task, especially since haibara had a soft spot for him ever since their training days, and he also worked in the tech department of the headquarters. but if he gets suspended too, nanami will feel extremely guilty since yuu enjoyed his work too much to be away from it.

nanami’s gaze lingered on shoko, his curiosity piqued by the strange look she wore as she discarded her gloves. she seemed to have something on her mind, but she was keeping it to herself. he raised a brow, waiting for her to speak.

finally, after a brief pause, shoko let out a soft sigh, pushing her hair back. “besides, i have something for you. something that will keep you busy.”

nanami’s expression shifted, his interest fading into mild skepticism. the last time someone had “something” for him, it was gojo sending him three overzealous trainees who, despite their good intentions, nearly drove him to the edge with their incessant questions and their complete lack of self-awareness. it had been an exhausting day.

he clicked his tongue, a mix of frustration and exhaustion, but he wasn’t about to interrupt her.

shoko’s lips quirked, clearly aware of his thoughts. “i’ll have it delivered to your place this evening, okay? you can leave in a couple of hours. i’ll call you.”

the door clicked shut behind her, and the familiar mix of her perfume and the faint scent of cigarettes lingered in the air. nanami stared at the spot where she had just been, already dreading whatever this new “thing” was that would keep him busy.

he was used to being alone. as a spy working for the agency, he had spent years living a life that required solitude. but this recent injury had taken him out of action, and yes, shoko had told him to rest, but his body couldn’t seem to listen. it didn’t help that his work was piling up, and he couldn’t bear the thought of being idle.

nanami’s gaze lingered on the door where shoko had just exited, a frown settling deeper into his face. there was something unsettling about the idea of “keeping busy” when his body was clearly telling him to rest. it felt wrong, like a futile attempt to ignore the reality of his injury. but that was how it always was for him—work never stopped, even when his body gave out.

as a field agent, nanami had learned early on to push past his limits, to always be ready, always be on alert. he had built his life around constant movement, constant action. this forced stillness was a foreign concept to him.

he ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply. despite his exhaustion, his mind raced with the mounting pile of tasks waiting for him. reports, mission updates, case files—all of it screamed at him, even as his body ached to do nothing.

being idle wasn’t something he was used to. the stillness of it felt suffocating, like something inside of him was slowly crumbling. and that guilt gnawed at him. after all, the agency’s work never ceased, and he was one of its best agents. who was he if he couldn’t even fulfill his own responsibilities?

nanami had always been the type to push himself, to power through any obstacle no matter how much it hurt. so this forced rest, this lingering sense of helplessness, was unsettling.

his fingers drummed on the arm of the chair, a faint twitch of frustration building inside him. he didn’t have time for this.

“nanami, you’re overworking yourself,” shoko had said earlier, her voice sharp but caring. “and you’re no use to the agency if you’re in no condition to work. so i’m sending you something.”

nanami had expected paperwork or maybe a more practical solution to keep him occupied, but what she delivered was… you.

you stood in the doorway, a mechanical precision to your movements as you glanced up at him with wide eyes. you were beautiful—almost too human to be real. your face was flawless, with soft features that belied your true nature. the only thing that set you apart from an ordinary person was the small glowing circle on your temple. it was the only indicator that you weren’t like other people.

“this is your new… companion,” shoko had explained, clearly amused by his expression. “she’s an android. and i’m leaving her with you for the time being.”

nanami had stared at you, feeling a strange mix of annoyance and disbelief. “you’re giving me… an android? to take care of?” he had asked, his voice flat.

“yes,” shoko had replied casually. “she’s highly advanced—an AI designed to assist you. and she’s a lot more self-aware than you might think. don’t worry, you’ll find that she’s harmless.”

you had watched him closely, your head tilting slightly in that curious, almost childlike way. nanami hadn’t known what to make of you. he just knew that you looked so real you could be mistaken for a young woman: soft-looking hair sitting atop your shoulders, dressed in a simple modest dress and a pair of sneakers, a bag thrown over your shoulders. but if someone looked closer they’d definitely see the unnatural way in which your mechanics hummed, a sound so faint nanami only heard it in the dead silence of the moment, and the glowing circle on your temple, slightly covered by your hair.

shoko looked proud as she presented you to him: a wide smirk on her face as she eagerly explained all of your functions to him while you stood there, attentive look on your face as you observed shoko.

nanami’s exasperation seeped through his pores as he gave shoko a disturbed look.

—

for the first couple of days after you arrived, nanami avoided you as much as possible. he had never been good at being around people, and now that you were here, in his space, it felt even more overwhelming. your presence was constant, your soft mechanical steps and the sound of your voice whenever you tried to engage with him.

you would ask him questions—simple ones at first, like how his day had gone or what his favorite food was—but he would only grunt in response or give you brief, noncommittal answers. he’d keep his head down, focusing on anything but you, pretending not to notice when you stood in the doorway watching him, your gaze unwavering.

you tried again and again to draw him out of his shell, always polite, always curious, but there was a wall between the two of you that he wasn’t sure how to bridge. it frustrated him.

you never seemed to give up, though.

one evening, after he’d returned from a brief walk to clear his head, you had asked, “do you always stay so quiet when you’re thinking?”

nanami froze in his tracks. you had appeared from the kitchen, staring at him with that same inquisitive expression.

“sometimes,” he muttered, brushing past you without meeting your eyes.

you trailed after him, stepping into the living room where he dropped his bag. “but aren’t you lonely?”

“no,” he said, a little more curt than he intended, but the words had come out before he could stop them.

you didn’t flinch. you just tilted your head and observed him, as if trying to figure out if there was something more beneath his response.

—

over the next few days, you continued your attempts, slowly shifting from simple questions to more personal ones. sometimes, when he would sit at the kitchen table, you’d sit nearby, watching him as you fiddled with a cup or toyed with a random object. sometimes you did attempt to make a conversation, but nanami thought it was just your curiosity getting the better of you since you didn’t even know how most of his kitchen was used.

he found it irritating at first, but soon enough, it became clear that you weren’t going to leave him alone, no matter how much he tried to distance himself. no matter how much he tried to convince shoko that this was a bad idea by giving him the same report every couple of days, she was just as relentless as you in your desire to discover what the real world was like. a goddamn android in his house.

on the tenth day, something new happened.

nanami was sitting at his desk, buried under the usual mountain of paperwork that had piled up over the past few days. it had been an exhausting few days for him—his rehabilitation from previous injury keeping him from doing the work he was used to, leaving him with hours of reports to catch up on. you, however, were sitting quietly by the window, your eyes scanning the world outside with an intensity that nanami hadn’t noticed before.

he was so used to the quiet of the apartment now that the silence between you didn’t seem strange. but today, something felt different. it was the way you were looking out the window, your gaze focused and eager, like you were trying to take in everything at once.

he didn’t think much of it at first, too lost in his own thoughts as he flipped through papers. but then, he heard it—your voice, soft but insistent, breaking the quiet.

“nanami,” you said, drawing his attention away from the documents. “can we go outside?”

he blinked, surprised by the request. his eyes flicked to you, noting how your posture seemed a little more expectant than usual.

“outside?” he repeated, trying to process it. “you’ve been here for days. you never said anything about wanting to go outside.”

you tilted your head, your gaze thoughtful, almost like you were piecing together something he couldn’t quite understand. “i’ve never been on a walk,” you added, your voice slightly quieter now, a hint of uncertainty in your tone. “i don’t know what it’s like. i want to see it. the world, i mean.”

he furrowed his brow, confusion mixing with a touch of concern. “but… you’ve never—”

“no,” you interrupted, your eyes bright with curiosity. “i’ve only seen what’s outside from here. not really been out in it.”

for a moment, nanami wasn’t sure how to respond. his first instinct was to make an excuse, to keep you inside and maintain the status quo. it was easier that way, after all. but then, the thought of you stuck inside, day after day, with no real experience of the world outside nagged at him.

he exhaled, his shoulders slumping. “fine. i’ll take you outside for a bit.”

your face lit up at the approval, a smile spreading across your face. “thank you, nanami!”

he couldn’t help but feel a little odd about the whole thing. he hadn’t expected you to ask for something like this. but he stood, grabbed his jacket, and headed toward the door, motioning for you to follow. for a second, he looked back, and your dress looked way too thin for the chilly weather, so he gently secured another one of his jackets around your shoulders, which made you stare up at him curiously, confused. probably because you didn’t really understand the weather being colder, but he clothed you more for his own comfort.

outside, the world felt different to him—calmer, quieter. the usual hum of city life was in the background, but with you beside him, everything seemed to shift in small, subtle ways.

you took in the air, your gaze wandering from the leaves blowing in the wind to the way the light danced across the pavement. you seemed so focused, so curious about everything, it was almost as if you were discovering the world for the first time.

“this is… amazing,” you murmured to yourself, your voice full of wonder as you looked around. “so much to see.”

nanami glanced at you, his expression softening as he watched you take everything in. the way your eyes followed the movement of birds flying overhead, how you stepped carefully around a fallen leaf on the ground as if studying it closely—there was a fascination in your movements that he couldn’t ignore.

as you walked down the street, you stopped suddenly when you spotted a dog trotting down the sidewalk. your face lit up with pure joy.

“look, nanami!” you exclaimed, kneeling down to get a closer look at the dog, which eagerly wagged its tail in response. “it’s so cute!”

nanami watched from a few paces behind, feeling a small smile tug at the corner of his lips.

“yeah,” he said quietly, though he wasn’t sure if he was talking about the dog, “it is.”

you continued to pet the dog for a moment before standing up, a thoughtful expression crossing your face. “do you think we could get one?” you asked, eyes sparkling.

he hesitated. “a dog?”

“yeah. they seem like they’d be fun to have around. they’re so friendly and happy,” you explained, your voice full of sincerity.

he chuckled lightly, but there was a warmth in his chest as he watched you. “maybe one day. but dogs are a lot of work.”

you nodded, your expression serious as if you were processing this new information. “i see,” you said softly, almost to yourself.

the walk continued in peaceful silence until you both passed a small park. there was a couple sitting on a picnic blanket, laughing and sharing food. you stopped in your tracks, captivated by their interaction.

“they look so… happy,” you observed quietly, eyes following the couple as they joked and fed each other small bites of food. “is that what it’s like? to be happy with someone?”

nanami was caught off guard by the question, and for a moment, he was unsure of how to answer.

he looked over at the couple, watching them interact with ease, before glancing back at you.

“yes,” he replied softly, his voice unusually gentle. “i guess that’s what it’s like.”

you seemed to take this in, nodding slowly as you looked back at the couple. “maybe one day, i’ll understand what that feels like,” you said, your voice quiet, yet hopeful.

nanami stopped walking, his gaze lingering on you for a moment. he didn't respond right away. instead, he simply reached out and adjusted the collar of your jacket, making sure you’re warm enough. there was something in the way you were absorbing the world, your innocent curiosity and quiet wonder, that made him realize how much he’d missed by staying so closed off.

“maybe one day,” he echoed, a small smile tugging at his lips. “but for now, let’s just enjoy this walk.”

you nodded, the disappointment fading from your expression as you continued walking by his side, taking in the world around you.

as the two of you wandered through the park, nanami couldn’t help but notice how different everything seemed with you beside him. it was a slow, calm afternoon, the light shifting as the sun dipped lower in the sky, and the sound of birdsong filled the air.

for the first time in days, nanami felt something he couldn’t quite explain—a quiet peace, a sense of connection that he hadn’t felt in a long time. watching you discover the world, seeing your joy in the little things, made him realize that maybe there was more to life than just the constant grind of work.

as you continued walking, the day seemed to slow down in a way that felt peaceful. watching you discover all these new things, taking in the world with such joy and openness, filled nanami with a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time.

it was a small walk, a simple moment in time, but it was the kind of peace he didn’t know he needed.

—

the following evening, nanami found himself looking at you differently. your persistence, your kindness—it wasn’t just an act. you were trying, in your own way, to connect with him, to offer him something that he hadn’t realized he needed.

it wasn’t much, but it was enough for him to begin lowering the wall he had built around himself.

and so, he started to talk to you more. it wasn’t forced, and it wasn’t immediate, but the cracks in his armor slowly began to appear, day by day.

one night, as he sat at the desk in the corner, working through another batch of reports, you approached him once more.

“can i ask you a question, nanami?”

he glanced over at you. “go ahead.”

you didn’t hesitate. “do you think i could ever understand what it means to be human?”

it was an innocent question, and it made him pause. he didn’t have an answer at first, but something about it stuck with him. the way you asked, so earnestly, so unsure, made him realize just how far you’d come since the first day he’d met you.

he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. “maybe you can’t fully understand what it’s like to be human,” he said slowly, “but you’re closer than you think.”

you blinked at him, your head tilting slightly in that curious, innocent way.

but in the weeks that followed, he started to realize something: you weren’t just a machine. not in the way you interacted with him. not in the way you asked questions and felt things. even though you didn’t quite understand everything about the world, you had a genuine curiosity about life that slowly began to break through his walls.

at first, it was the little things. one day, he was sitting at his desk, working through the endless paperwork that had been piling up since his suspension. you stood in the doorway, watching him intently.

“nanami,” you said softly, your voice cutting through the silence. “why do you always look so serious when you’re working?”

nanami looked up at you, startled. “i’m not serious. i’m just… working.”

you blinked, clearly confused. “but why do you look unhappy when you’re doing it?”

he paused, unsure how to answer that. you were right, but he hadn’t realized how obvious his stress was. he let out a quiet sigh. “i guess it’s just… my job. it’s a lot of pressure.”

“i don’t understand,” you said, stepping closer, your voice quiet. “i thought you enjoyed your work.”

he rubbed the back of his neck, his expression softening slightly. “it’s not always enjoyable. but… i do it because it’s important.”

you nodded, your face thoughtful. “i think… i understand now.”

there was a pause before you added, “maybe i can help you.”

nanami looked at you, taken aback by the suggestion. “help me?”

“yes,” you said, your voice full of determination. “i can help you with your work. i’m designed to learn quickly.”

he chuckled softly. “you’re a bit too eager, aren’t you?”

but despite himself, he found the offer comforting. it wasn’t just your logic that had struck him—it was the way you genuinely wanted to make things easier for him. well, it was your purpose, kind of, you were still an artificial intelligence designed to be helpful like every other AI, and somehow, it made him feel… less alone.

—

over time, your presence became more than just a distraction. you began to fill the quiet spaces in his life, and while nanami had tried to resist the connection between you, he couldn’t ignore how much you did care. little things—like the way you asked about his day, or how you tried to mimic human behavior, even if you didn’t fully understand it—brought something out in him. he started to look forward to your company.

one day, after you had watched him eat without comment for what felt like an eternity, you suddenly asked, “what does it taste like? food, i mean.”

nanami paused mid-bite, his chopsticks hovering in the air. he glanced at you, his brow slightly furrowed. “you want to know what it tastes like?”

you nodded earnestly. “yes. i’ve read about it. i just don’t understand it.”

he set his chopsticks down, regarding you with mild curiosity. you were always observing, always analyzing, but this was different. there was a sincerity in your voice, a quiet kind of wonder, and it made him hesitate.

“well,” he said after a moment, reaching for his plate, “you can try it. but… i don’t think it’s going to be as exciting for you as it is for me.”

he tore off a small piece of meat and held it out to you. you took it carefully, cradling it in your palm like it was something delicate, precious. nanami found himself watching you more closely than he intended to as you lifted it to your mouth.

your first bite was slow, deliberate. you chewed once. twice. then, your entire expression twisted into confusion.

your brows knitted together, your lips pressing into a thin line before you suddenly stopped, staring down at the food on his plate like it had betrayed you.

“this doesn’t feel right,” you said finally, your voice tinged with something close to disappointment. “it doesn’t… taste the way you describe it.”

nanami let out a quiet chuckle, unable to help himself. “yeah, that’s because you don’t have a stomach,” he said, resting his chin against his palm. “you can’t digest anything.”

your eyes widened slightly, as if this realization had never occurred to you before. “oh,” you said, then quickly grabbed a napkin and spat the food out with a look of mild horror.

nanami couldn’t stop the amused huff that left him. you were so logical about everything, and yet, this simple fact had completely eluded you.

“so i can’t enjoy food at all?” you asked, inspecting the half-chewed piece like it might suddenly reveal its secrets to you.

“no,” he said, shaking his head. “you can appreciate it, but not in the same way humans do.”

you fell silent, mulling over his words. your gaze flickered to his plate, watching as he picked up his chopsticks again.

“that’s unfortunate,” you murmured. “people seem to love food.”

nanami hummed in agreement, taking another bite. “they do.”

you tilted your head slightly, thoughtful. “but i don’t need it. i don’t need to eat to survive.”

“no,” he said, watching as you sat back, seeming to accept this truth.

you nodded once, decisive, and nanami found himself strangely endeared by the sight.

“i suppose that’s okay,” you said finally.

for the first time, nanami smiled at you—just a small, fleeting thing. maybe you weren’t so bad to have around after all.

—

after a long day of work, nanami had gone to take a shower. his body ached from hours spent at his desk, muscles stiff from sitting too long, and the hot water was the only relief he could look forward to. he had just stepped under the stream, eyes closed, savoring the warmth that eased the tension from his shoulders, when he heard the bathroom door creak open.

he turned his head slightly, expecting nothing, only to see you standing in the doorway, watching him with open interest.

nanami stiffened instantly, every ounce of exhaustion vanishing as a new kind of tension took over. his hand tightened over the shower curtain as he tugged it close enough to cover at least half of his body, although it seemed like your sharp eyes could see right through it.

“nanami,” you asked, tilting your head, “why are you not wearing clothes? don’t you need them?”

his entire body locked up. water ran down his face, dripping from his jaw, but suddenly, the heat of the shower felt like nothing compared to the warmth creeping up his neck.

“you’re… asking why i’m naked?” he repeated, his voice flatter than intended.

you nodded, your face as neutral as ever. “yes. isn’t it cold without them?”

nanami exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “it’s a shower, people take them naked.”

you blinked, processing. “i see.” there was a brief pause before you added, “can i join you?”

he choked on his own breath, turning fully to face you. “what?”

“i’m waterproof,” you explained matter-of-factly, taking a small step forward. “and i’ve never taken a shower before. i’d like to experience it.”

nanami gaped at you, at your complete lack of hesitation, at the way you spoke as if this was the most logical request in the world. he struggled to form words, his mind caught between telling you no and trying to find an explanation that would make sense to you.

but before he could protest, you casually reached for the hem of your clothes and stripped them off without a hint of shame or second thought.

nanami turned away so fast he nearly slipped.

“wh– for god’s sake—” he swore under his breath, pressing a hand over his face, forcing himself to stare at the wall. his ears burned. “you— at least ask before you just—”

“i did ask,” you pointed out, stepping into the shower. warm water hit your skin, instantly dampening your hair, and you looked up at him expectantly. “you didn’t say no.”

nanami dragged a hand down his face. this was a nightmare. this was his nightmare.

he forced himself to glance at you from the corner of his eye, but that only made things worse. despite the water making your hair stick to your skin, there was something undeniably pretty about the way you stood under the stream, droplets trailing down the curves of your body. it wasn’t supposed to affect him. you were a machine, an artificial creation, and yet—

he clenched his jaw and willed his thoughts away.

“does it feel nice?” you asked, turning your face up toward the water, letting it run over your closed eyelids.

nanami cleared his throat, focusing very intently on rinsing the shampoo from his own hair. “it’s… warm,” he said simply, trying to keep his tone even. “that’s all.”

you hummed in thought, your fingers running through your soaked strands as if testing their weight. then, after a beat of silence, you spoke again—soft, almost hesitant this time.

“can you help me with my hair?”

nanami paused, blinking down at you. you looked up at him, waiting, your expression calm but expectant.

he should’ve said no. he should’ve let you figure it out on your own. but for some reason, his hand was already reaching for the shampoo.

“…fine,” he muttered, stepping behind you.

his fingers slipped into your hair, slow and deliberate. the lather formed easily, and he worked through the strands carefully, detangling them as he went. he had never done this for anyone before, never imagined he would, and yet—there was something oddly intimate about it. the way you stood so still, trusting, the quiet hum of the water filling the space between you.

when he rinsed the shampoo out, your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. you looked like a doll; so serene, so at peace, and for a brief, fleeting moment, nanami let himself admire the sight.

when the shower ended and you both stepped out, nanami felt an odd weight in the air. you were standing in front of the mirror, holding a brush awkwardly, and he couldn't help but notice how damp your hair stuck to your skin, how close you stood to him.

you had towel-dried your hair as best you could, but the strands were still damp, clinging together in places. you ran the brush through them with mechanical precision, but every so often, the bristles snagged on a knot, and you would pause, assessing the situation like it was a puzzle you didn’t quite understand.

you tried to brush through your hair, but your movements were stiff, clearly unfamiliar with how to do it properly. nanami couldn't help but notice the tiny frown on your face as the brush kept getting caught in your hair.

"give me that," he said softly, taking the brush from your hand.

you turned to face him, waiting patiently as he moved behind you. his hands were careful, his fingers brushing over the strands as he began to untangle them. there was something oddly intimate in the way he worked through your hair, the rhythmic motion of his hands soothing both of you.

after a few minutes of silence, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "i like this. you're good at it."

nanami paused, fingers stilling in your hair for a moment. his chest tightened at your words. he wasn't used to being complimented like this, especially not in such a soft, vulnerable moment. with you smelling of his shower gel and his hair shampoo and looking so pretty.

"thanks," he said, his voice low.

he finished brushing your hair, running his fingers through the silky strands one last time before stepping back.

when you looked at him through the mirror, there was a look in your eyes— something tender, something soft-that he couldn't quite place.

"i like you, nanami," you said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

his breath hitched, and for a moment, he stood frozen, unsure of how to respond. the words you had just spoken were simple, but they meant something deeper than you realized. and as much as he wanted to act like everything was fine, the truth was, it wasn't.

he finally let out a breath, a small smile tugging at his lips. "yeah," he murmured, "i like you too."

and for a second, everything felt like it had shifted in a way he couldn't explain.

—

later that night, nanami sat on the couch, papers scattered around him as he tried to focus on the pile of work in front of him. the dim light of the living room lamp barely illuminated the scene, but it didn’t matter. you were beside him, flicking through channels without much interest until a random movie caught your attention.

it wasn't anything special, just a romance movie that seemed to have a scene where two characters were kissing. you had never seen anything like it before, and now, your full attention was fixed on the screen, wide-eyed as you watched the couple's lips meet.

nanami couldn't help but glance at you from the corner of his eye. you seemed so absorbed in the scene, your curiosity almost palpable.

"what's it like to kiss someone?" you asked suddenly, completely breaking the silence between you.

he froze, his pen still hovering above the paper, his thoughts scattering. the question was so unexpected, and the innocence in your voice made it feel even more striking.

"uh..." he started, trying to gather his thoughts, but his mind felt foggy. "it's... hard to explain. it's like... a connection. something that makes you forget everything around you for a while."

you turned to him, blinking, as if processing his words carefully. "is it really that important?"

nanami bit his lip, hesitant. his eyes flickered back to the movie on the screen, where the kiss was lingering longer than he was comfortable with.

"for some people, yeah. it can be."

you paused, then tilted your head slightly, an inquisitive look on your face.

"can i try?"

the question hung in the air, and for a brief moment, nanami's heart skipped a beat. wait, what?

you were looking at him with such curiosity, those wide eyes filled with something he couldn't quite place. for a split second, he considered refusing. this is... weird. she's an android. she's not supposed to feel like this.

but then, as if on instinct, he found himself leaning in, his lips brushing yours, so soft and tentative at first. it was the strangest thing-like something deep inside him had just been unlocked. his hands hovered near your face, unsure of what to do. he was fighting it, trying to keep his cool, but he couldn't help the desire that surged through him.

you kissed him back, slow at first, then with more certainty. it was sweet, innocent, and yet there was something raw in it, something that made his pulse quicken. the world around them seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in that small moment, the taste of your lips lingering on his.

when you pulled away, your eyes were wide, a mix of surprise and curiosity. "is that what it's supposed to feel like?"

nanami swallowed hard, his heart racing in his chest. what is this? he thought, trying to ground himself. "yeah. exactly that."

but the air between them had shifted. the kiss was innocent at first, but now there was an undeniable heat between them, a charged energy that neither of them could ignore. nanami found himself leaning in again, unable to stop himself. this time, it was more urgent, more desperate. his hands gently cupped your face, his thumb brushing your cheek as he kissed you deeper.

it had been so long since nanami had been close to anyone, intimate in any real way. the days of fleeting moments with people who never truly understood him seemed like a distant memory, and with that, his need—his longing— had only grown stronger, now, with you, everything felt different. he didn't know how to handle it, the weight of the feeling pressing on him. the tender touch of your lips on his sent a shiver down his spine, stirring something inside him that he hadn't allowed himself to feel in years. it was overwhelming, yet intoxicating.

you kissed him back, the heat building between you, your fingers sliding up his shirt, tracing the lines of his chest as he deepened the kiss further. nanami's heart was pounding in his chest as the kiss grew more heated, his body pressing closer to yours, the warmth from the shower and the electricity in the air making everything feel more intense.

for a moment, nanami forgot about the world, about everything that didn't matter. it was just you, just the way your lips felt against his, and the way your hands clung to him like you didn't want to let go.

he didn't know where this would lead, but for once, he didn't care. he wasn't going to fight it. you had broken through his walls, and the connection he'd been avoiding—he felt it now, clear and real.

he pulled back just enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours. "this is... i don't know where it's going, but..." he trailed off, unable to put it into words.

"i like it," you whispered, your voice soft but sincere.

nanami smiled softly, his hands still resting on your face, his thumb tracing your lips. "me too."

—

“nanami… do you sleep like this?” you asked. “on the bed? all night?”

he looked up at you, surprised. “yeah… that’s how it works. why?”

“well,” you began, shifting nervously. “i usually just go into sleep mode on the couch. i don’t… sleep the way you do.”

he gave you an unreadable look, his mind working over your words. after a moment of silence, he sighed. “fine. you can sleep here tonight.”

you smiled, your eyes lighting up, and you carefully crawled into bed beside him, your form stiff as you settled. nanami couldn’t help but watch you for a while, studying how you adjusted to the bed. eventually, his eyes grew heavy, and he felt the warmth of your presence pulling him closer, though he still kept a little distance.

but as the night wore on, he found himself subconsciously inching closer. when he woke up the next morning, his arm had somehow found its way around you, pulling you into a soft embrace. your head rested against his chest, and for a moment, neither of you moved.

you stirred, your voice quiet and unsure. “is this… what it’s like? to be held?”

nanami didn’t answer right away. he was too lost in the comfort of the moment. “yeah,” he said eventually, his voice low. “it feels… good.”

it’s been a while since nanami felt less alone. he was holding someone—you—and it felt like the right thing to do. but even though he felt a strange comfort in your presence, he couldn’t ignore the conflicted feelings swirling inside him.

because for you, it felt good too. too good to be ignored.

—

nanami was exhausted. his body ached, his mind was clouded with too many reports and too many thoughts, and all he wanted was sleep. you, as usual, were next to him, sitting quietly, your form curled up on the couch. after a moment of silent contemplation, he finally decided to rest, scooting closer to you as he stretched out on the couch, his arm lazily draping over you.

“kento?” you asked softly, breaking the silence, your voice gentle but curious.

“mm?” he murmured in response, barely registering your words, his exhaustion getting the best of him.

you had been quietly watching him, taking in his relaxed features, how the tension seemed to melt away when he finally allowed himself to rest. it was a soft moment, the kind that felt rare to nanami—so caught up in the chaos of life, he rarely allowed himself to just exist. but tonight, he was here, with you. you seemed almost entranced by the peaceful expression on his face, the way his eyelids fluttered in his sleep.

“i think… i like calling you ‘kento.’ is that okay?” you asked, your voice soft, like it was a secret just between the two of you.

nanami was so tired, his eyelids heavy, that he only half-heard you, but the sound of your voice felt comforting, grounding him in the moment. it made his heart flutter in a way he couldn’t explain. he shifted, pulling you closer, his arm tightening around your waist as he mumbled, “yeah… call me kento… or… whatever you want. i don’t mind.” his words were slurred with drowsiness, but there was a softness in his voice that you hadn’t heard before.

“okay, kento,” you whispered, your hand gently brushing his chest in a comforting gesture.

he barely noticed as you tucked yourself against him, your breath slow and steady as you powered down into low-power mode, like you always did when you rested. his eyes flickered open for a moment, and he caught a brief glance of you watching him before your system slowly switched off.

kento, he thought as his mind drifted to sleep, his heart strangely light.

he had always kept his distance, always thought he didn’t need anyone. but with you—this strange, beautiful being who saw him so clearly—it felt different. and for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as alone as he had once thought.

—

one morning, nanami was preparing his usual cup of coffee, the scent filling the quiet kitchen. you stood by, watching him intently, your curiosity evident as you watched him pour hot water over the ground beans. he glanced over at you, half-smiling.

“what’s so interesting?” he asked, his voice still a little groggy.

you tilted your head. “it’s just… the steam. it looks like it’s alive. can i try it?”

he raised an eyebrow, surprised. “the coffee?”

“no,” you replied, your expression serious. “the steam. it moves. is it a kind of… breathing?”

nanami chuckled softly, shaking his head. “no, it’s just hot water turning into vapor. it’s not alive.”

you stared at the steam, clearly fascinated, before your eyes went wide with a realization. “oh, i think i understand! it’s like… magic, but with water.”

he couldn’t help the fond smile that tugged at his lips. “yeah, sure. magic with water.”

you grinned, happy to have figured it out, and for a moment, nanami felt warmth spread through his chest. it was these little moments—these simple exchanges—that made the house feel less lonely.

—

after another long day of work, nanami sank into his couch, the weight of his exhaustion pressing heavily on his shoulders. the light in the room was dim, the flickering of the tv the only sound besides the soft rustling of papers he had set aside. he hadn’t even noticed you sitting quietly beside him until you gently nudged his arm.

“are you… okay?” you asked, your voice soft, filled with a tenderness that caught him off guard. your hand lightly rested on his arm, an unspoken comfort.

he glanced down at you, slightly taken aback by the concern in your tone. it was such a small, simple gesture, but something about it felt different. something in him shifted. “yeah, just tired,” he replied, his voice a little hoarse, the exhaustion in his body evident in the way he slouched into the couch.

you stayed silent for a moment, studying him closely. then, without saying a word, you slowly reached over and rested your head on his shoulder, your hair brushing against his skin. nanami froze for a moment, feeling the gentle pressure of your weight, the warmth of your touch. he hadn’t expected this, but it felt… soothing.

“you seem sad,” you said softly, your voice almost a whisper. “what does that feel like?”

nanami blinked in surprise, his chest tightening at your words. no one had asked him that in a long time, not like you had. he swallowed, trying to find the right words. “it’s like… a weight. like everything is just heavier. harder to deal with.”

you lifted your head slightly, eyes full of genuine curiosity, your gaze never leaving him. “then, can i help make it lighter?”

his heart softened at your words, and for a moment, he just sat there, caught in the warmth of your presence. it was hard to explain, but being with you, having you near him, made the world feel a little less heavy. he didn’t know how you did it, but somehow, you always knew what to say, when to say it.

he finally exhaled a long breath, his hand instinctively moving to your back, his fingers lightly brushing over your clothing in a gesture of reassurance. “yeah, you can. just… stay close,” he whispered, his voice barely above a murmur.

without hesitation, you shifted, sliding closer to him. your body pressed up against his side, and the warmth of you spread through him like a comforting blanket. your hand found his, and you gently held it, intertwining your fingers. the simple act felt like a lifeline, grounding him in a way he didn’t expect. he looked down at your hand, the warmth of your touch radiating through him, before looking back at you.

for a long moment, neither of you said anything. you stayed there, close to him, just being there in the quiet, and nanami couldn’t help but feel a wave of calm wash over him. you didn’t need to say anything more, didn’t need to offer words of comfort. just your presence, the way you held him close, was enough to make him feel a little less weighed down by the world.

he sighed, his hand squeezing yours gently, the faintest of smiles tugging at the corners of his lips. “thank you,” he murmured, voice soft with gratitude. he didn’t say it often, but in that moment, it was the only thing that felt right.

—

maybe he shouldn’t have listened to you, maybe he should’ve just left you home because despite knowing what could happen, nanami reluctantly agreed to take you to the grocery store. it wasn’t that he minded, but he knew what was coming. you had never been to a grocery store before, and he wasn’t sure how well it would go. still, he figured it would be a good experience—one way or another.

as you walked into the store, you immediately became fascinated with everything. “what are all these… objects?” you asked, gazing at the rows of food like they were treasures in an ancient tomb.

nanami sighed, grabbing a cart and pushing it forward. “they’re just… groceries. food, things we need.”

but you didn’t seem to care much about that explanation. you were already darting off in another direction, eyes fixed on a brightly colored box of cereal. “this one looks like it would make a good pet!” you exclaimed, holding up a box shaped like a cartoon tiger.

“that’s not a pet, that’s cereal,” nanami muttered, quickly following after you. he was already beginning to sweat a little. he had hoped the store would be a quick trip, but it was looking like that wasn’t going to be the case.

you moved from one aisle to the next, picking up random items and inspecting them with wide-eyed curiosity. a jar of peanut butter caught your attention, and you tried to twist the lid off. “can i drink this? it’s very… smooth,” you asked, not caring that it was meant for spreading, not drinking.

“no, you’re not drinking peanut butter,” nanami said, feeling the weight of embarrassment already settling in. he glanced around nervously as people gave you confused looks. some even whispered to each other, clearly wondering what you were doing. but he didn’t have the energy to explain. he was just trying to survive this.

before he could stop you, you dashed toward the fruit aisle, excitedly picking up a bunch of bananas. “why are these so bendy? are they… broken?” you asked, holding them up to your face like you were trying to inspect them for flaws.

“no, those are fine,” nanami said, pinching the bridge of his nose. he was already feeling the stress of being out in public with you. “let’s just get the things we need and go home, okay?”

but you weren’t done yet. in fact, you were just getting started. you spotted a box of pasta and tossed it into the cart with a smile. “this looks like it could be fun! it’s shaped like little twists.”

nanami rubbed his temples. “please, just… wait here while i grab the milk,” he muttered, his voice already tinged with exhaustion.

the moment he turned away, you bolted in the opposite direction, darting toward the snack aisle. “kento! look! it’s chips shaped like dinosaurs!” you called out from across the store.

he sighed deeply and hurried after you, feeling the eyes of everyone around him. when he finally caught up, he found you holding up a bag of chips like a child presenting a prized toy. “are these edible?” you asked, utterly confused by the concept of snack food.

“yes, they’re edible, and yes, you can chew on some. just… stop running off.” he rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on.

you smiled brightly, completely unfazed by the attention you were drawing. “okay, but i think i found something more interesting!”

nanami turned to see you holding up a can of beans, then immediately shifting focus to a box of cereal, then back to the beans. you were completely in your element, bouncing between aisles like a curious, hyperactive child.

“i’m going to pay for this, and then we’re going home,” nanami said firmly, but despite the stress, there was something about the way you looked at him with innocent eyes that made him smile. despite the chaos, he adored you. “but i swear, if you run off again, we’re not coming back.”

you looked at him with wide eyes and a playful smile. “don’t worry, kento. i’m just exploring. i promise i’ll stay close.”

he just laughed softly, shaking his head as he followed you to the checkout. despite everything, despite the stares, he couldn’t help but feel a little fondness for you and your unpredictable curiosity. you were certainly a handful, but you were his handful. and that was enough.

—

the quiet of the apartment felt more pronounced than usual, the soft hum of the city outside the window barely noticeable. nanami had settled on the couch after dinner, his tired body finally willing to rest. you were sitting beside him, your head resting on the back of the couch, eyes fixed on the TV screen but your mind far away. there was a soft tension in the air tonight, an unspoken shift that you couldn’t quite put into words.

after a long silence, you shifted a little closer to him, the movement drawing his attention. his gaze flickered over to you as you hesitated for a moment, as though gathering your thoughts. when your fingers brushed against his hand, a small spark of warmth traveled up his arm.

“nanami,” you began softly, your voice gentle and unsure, “can… can i ask you something?”

his brows furrowed slightly at the serious tone, and he turned fully toward you, leaning in a little closer. “yeah. what is it?”

you looked down at your hands for a moment, fiddling with your fingers before meeting his gaze again. your expression was earnest, almost vulnerable, as if you were trying to understand something that had always been a mystery to you.

“what does it feel like to… care about someone?” you asked quietly, a small frown forming on your face. “like… i care about you, but i don’t really understand what that means. i don’t know what it feels like for real.”

nanami’s heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, he was speechless. there was something so pure about the way you asked, the way you were trying so hard to grasp a concept that had always seemed so simple to him. his chest tightened slightly at the thought.

he took a deep breath, his thumb gently brushing over your hand as he tried to gather his thoughts. “it feels like…” he paused, his voice lowering, the weight of the moment settling around them. “it feels like warmth, like you’re wrapped in something that makes everything else fade away. like you want to protect them, make sure they’re safe, happy… like they matter more to you than anything else in the world.”

you absorbed his words, your eyes wide with understanding, and then, after a moment, you gave a soft, almost shy smile. “then i think i understand,” you said quietly. “i care about you like that, nanami.”

his breath caught at your words, his chest feeling tight in a way he hadn’t expected. the sincerity in your voice, the way you seemed to be laying your heart bare—it hit him harder than he thought it would. he stared at you for a long moment, his hand still resting in yours, the space between you somehow charged with a new kind of tenderness.

without thinking, his hand slowly moved to your cheek, his touch light as he cupped your face gently, as though trying to memorize the feeling of it. he couldn’t quite find the words to express what was stirring inside him, but he didn’t need to. you understood.

the warmth of your skin against his palm, the quiet, steady gaze you held him with—it all said more than words ever could. nanami didn’t need to say anything in that moment. he simply leaned in, his thumb brushing over your cheek as if grounding himself in the feeling of you.

for a moment, neither of you spoke. there was no need. the space between your hearts had closed, and even if you didn’t fully understand what it meant, somehow, it didn’t matter. you were both there, in that moment, and that was enough.

—

nanami came back to his apartment with something in his hand—a small, wrapped box. he had been out to pick up some groceries for himself, but on a whim, he’d seen something that reminded him of you. a little gesture, something that felt… right. he wasn’t one to spoil, but this felt different.

you were sitting on the couch, as usual, with your legs crossed, absently flipping through the nature documentary you were so fond of. you looked up as he entered, blinking in curiosity at the small box in his hands.

“what’s that?” you asked, eyes fixed on the package, your interest piqued.

“it’s for you,” nanami said, his voice quieter than usual as he walked over and placed the small box gently into your lap. “it’s… not much, but i thought you might like it.”

you blinked at him, momentarily confused. “for me?”

he nodded, shifting his weight uncomfortably on his feet. “yeah. you’ve been so curious about the world lately, and… well, i thought this might help. it’s something small. i didn’t know what else to get you.”

you slowly peeled away the wrapping, your fingers carefully pulling apart the paper. what you revealed was a simple, small potted plant—a little succulent, its plump, green leaves almost glowing in the soft light. you stared at it for a moment, blinking a few times as if you couldn’t quite believe it was real.

“it’s beautiful!” you exclaimed, your voice filled with genuine excitement. your fingers brushed the leaves lightly, as though afraid it might disappear if you touched it too hard. “this is… for me?”

“yes,” nanami said, his voice softer now, quieter, as though he was unsure if he was saying the right thing. “it’s something you can take care of. something that needs attention, just like you do.”

there was a brief silence between you, a moment where the weight of his words settled in the air. nanami’s gaze softened as he watched you, his chest warm with something he couldn’t quite name. in his heart, he knew it was more than just a plant. it was a way to show you, in his own subtle way, that he wanted to take care of you. that he needed to.

he had always taken care of things, even before you. work, responsibilities, the endless paperwork that weighed on him. but it was always different when it came to you. there was something about your presence, your curiosity, your innocent need for guidance and care, that made him feel more alive than any job ever had. when he was with you, when he was taking care of you, everything else faded. he was at his best then, feeling useful and needed in a way he hadn’t in years.

you turned your gaze to him, your eyes reflecting an understanding he hadn’t expected. without a word, you placed your hand on his—light, gentle, like the softest of touches. “thank you, kento. i’ll take care of it just like you take care of me.”

at your words, a flutter of something tender rose in nanami’s chest. something warm, something that made him feel both content and vulnerable at the same time. he didn’t speak, couldn’t find the words to express the sudden rush of emotions, but the way you looked at him, so earnest and sincere, made him feel like maybe he didn’t need to. you understood. and that was enough.

for the first time in a long while, nanami smiled, his heart feeling lighter than it had in ages. “i know you will,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “i’m glad you like it.”

you looked up at him, your eyes wide with happiness. “i love it. it’s so pretty!” you said earnestly, making him feel something deep in his chest.

he chuckled, his hand lingering on your head, petting you gently. the simple gesture sent a rush of affection through him, and for a moment, everything else faded. you were happy, and that made him feel like he was doing something right. he could get used to this—taking care of you, showing you the world, piece by piece. and somehow, it felt like you were already teaching him something in return.

—

the apartment was quiet, save for the soft clicking of nanami’s laptop as he scrolled through case files. his brow furrowed in concentration, his fingers gliding over the keyboard, but his mind was weary from the long day. he didn’t notice you sitting quietly beside him until you gently nudged his arm.

“kento, are you still awake?” you asked softly, your voice breaking the stillness of the room.

he glanced at the clock, surprised at how late it had gotten. he sighed, rubbing his eyes, feeling the weight of fatigue pressing on him. “yeah. just trying to get through some files,” he replied, his voice tinged with exhaustion.

you sat beside him, your gaze gentle and full of concern. “you should sleep. you’re always working. don’t you ever get tired?”

nanami chuckled, but the sound was weary. he leaned back in his chair, stretching his shoulders as he looked at the screen again, feeling the strain of his tiredness creeping in. “i guess i do, but… it’s hard to stop. there’s always something else to get done.”

you stayed silent for a moment, watching him closely. then, with a soft expression, you spoke again. “i think… i understand. when i’m learning something new, i can’t stop until i understand it fully. it feels… important.”

he blinked, caught off guard by your words. it wasn’t something he’d expected to hear, but it made sense. he paused, thinking over what you said, and then gave you a small nod. “yeah. i get that. but… you should still rest. you’re important, too.”

you tilted your head, a soft curiosity in your eyes. “important? but i’m not… like you.”

he softened, a smile touching his lips as he looked at you. “you’re just as important as anyone, you know.”

your smile deepened, and you looked at him with a peaceful expression, a warmth radiating from you. “then… can we just sit together for a little while? i don’t want you to be alone.”

without a second thought, nanami reached for your hand, his fingers gently wrapping around it, a comforting weight that helped to ease the stress from his mind. “okay. let’s just be here for a while.”

—

“kento,” you said, your voice quiet, almost hesitant, as your fingers brushed against his arm. you were unsure of how he might react, but you couldn’t hold back your curiosity. “i’ve noticed… when i touch you, you don’t pull away.”

he turned his head toward you, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion. “why would i?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

you hesitated, the weight of your words hanging in the air. you had always been observant, but sometimes you struggled to fully understand human emotions. “i’m not human,” you continued, voice soft but steady. “i don’t feel like you do. i don’t know if you ever get… uncomfortable.”

nanami’s expression softened, and without a second thought, he reached out, his hand brushing gently against yours. “no,” he said, shaking his head with quiet certainty. “i don’t feel uncomfortable. your touch… it’s fine.”

his words were simple, but there was something in his tone that made you feel a warmth settle in your chest. you smiled at him, though there was still a lingering uncertainty in your eyes. “i… i like the way it feels, too,” you murmured, your fingers brushing lightly against his hand, as if confirming what you were saying. “when you hold my hand, or when you… touch me like this.”

your words caused something in nanami’s chest to tighten, his heart skipping a beat. it was strange, but in the best way. he had never quite expected to feel this way, especially not with someone—or something—like you. slowly, he shifted, turning to face you more fully, his gaze softening as he spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper.

“i think… i like it too,” he admitted, his voice tender, almost hesitant as if he was still processing the feelings swirling within him. “i didn’t think i would, but it feels… good. more than i expected.”

you nodded, your eyes locking with his as you slowly, gently, traced the back of his hand with your fingertips. the simple gesture seemed to speak volumes, your touch filled with the unspoken connection between you two. “it feels… right.” you whispered, as if confirming something you’d both been feeling but hadn’t fully acknowledged until now.

there was a quiet moment between you, where neither of you said anything more. yet, it was clear—your connection had deepened in a way that neither of you had anticipated, and it was a feeling that felt both foreign and completely natural at the same time.

—

you were in the kitchen, standing on a stool to reach the top shelf, trying to grab a jar of something. nanami had been in the living room, going through his work, but you had found yourself suddenly interested in making something for the both of you—nothing complicated, just a little snack.

as you reached for the jar, the stool wobbled slightly, and your arms stretched even higher to balance yourself. just as you were about to grab it, the jar slipped, falling from your hands and knocking into a few others, causing them to clink and rattle together in a small cascade of noise. you flinched at the sound, but thankfully, nothing broke.

“i—i was trying to get the peanut butter, but it seems like i’ve failed,” you said, a little flustered, as you turned to look at nanami who had heard the noise and walked into the kitchen.

he raised an eyebrow, eyeing the mess of jars on the floor. but before he could comment, you stepped off the stool and bent down to gather the jars, only for one of them to slip from your hand again and roll across the floor.

nanami’s lips quirked, and before he knew it, a laugh broke through. it was quiet at first, just a soft chuckle that he quickly tried to suppress.

you paused, looking up at him with wide eyes, completely confused. “why… are you laughing?” you asked, tilting your head. “i thought you would be annoyed.”

nanami shook his head, trying to keep his composure, but the image of you, struggling with jars and trying to balance everything so seriously, just caught him off guard. it wasn’t that he thought it was funny—it was just you, doing your best with everything, and somehow, it was exactly what he needed to lift the weight of his day.

“i’m not annoyed,” he said, clearing his throat, though his smile was still there, “you just… make it look too serious. it’s just peanut butter.”

you blinked at him, still processing his response, before slowly rising from the floor. “so… i made you laugh… by trying to make you a snack?” you asked slowly, still a little perplexed by the situation.

nanami nodded, feeling warmth in his chest at the sight of you looking so genuinely confused, but still trying. “yeah,” he said softly. “i didn’t expect it, but it’s… nice to see you like this.” his tone softened, and he gave you a small smile, stepping forward to help you clean up the jars.

“i’m glad it made you laugh,” you said, your voice softer than usual, and as you looked up at him, you felt something stir inside of you—a warmth, a connection you hadn’t been able to fully grasp before. “maybe… i can try again? without knocking everything over?”

nanami’s grin widened, and he gave you a gentle pat on the head, his heart full. “i wouldn’t mind if you tried.”

—

yuuji itadori stood at nanami’s doorstep, eager to get started with their training session. nanami had invited him over to work on some technical skills together, and it was the first time yuuji would be spending time at nanami’s place. as yuuji stepped inside, he was immediately struck by the quiet atmosphere of the apartment, the soft lighting, and the way everything seemed so orderly. it was a stark contrast to the chaos of their usual missions.

“yo, nanami! you here?” yuuji called out, grinning as he moved further into the living room.

“in here,” nanami’s voice came from the kitchen. “grab a seat, we’ll start in a minute.”

yuuji made his way to the couch, but his attention quickly shifted to the person sitting near the window, who was watching him with curiosity. it was you, the android nanami had been spending so much time with. yuuji had heard about you, but this was the first time he’d seen you in person.

“oh, hey! you’re the one shoko’s been mentioning,” yuuji said with a friendly smile, though he noticed how you didn’t seem to fully understand what he meant. your gaze was intense, but you didn’t speak, only continuing to watch him.

you didn’t respond immediately, your eyes flickering between yuuji and nanami as he prepared some things in the kitchen. something about their interaction made you feel… uncertain. you didn’t understand the bond between them completely, but you could sense there was something important there.

yuuji, curious about you, stood up and walked closer, still unsure of how to approach someone who was, essentially, part of nanami’s world but not quite human. “so… what do you do around here? just hang out with nanami?”

you blinked, processing his question. “i… observe. i learn. i… help nanami,” you said softly, your voice almost mechanical but still holding a note of warmth in it.

yuuji grinned. “ah, cool. you’re like… a sidekick, huh?”

you tilted your head, intrigued by the idea of being a sidekick, and you began to watch how nanami and yuuji interacted, studying their dynamic from a distance. you wanted to understand more—how did nanami look at him? what was this connection they had? it was so different from how you and nanami interacted, and that made you feel strangely restless.

it didn’t take long for nanami to notice you lingering by the window, observing them so intently. his eyes softened with understanding, and he sighed quietly before walking over to you.

“you know,” nanami said gently, his hand brushing your arm as he leaned down to meet your gaze. “yuuji and i are going to be working for a while. i’ll be free in a couple of hours. you can stay with us, but if you want, i can spend time with you after. just… don’t worry.”

you looked up at him, your eyes flickering with the kind of longing you didn’t fully understand, but it was there, unmistakable. your fingers brushed against his hand as you nodded.

“okay… i’ll wait.” you whispered.

nanami smiled softly, his heart warming at how much you cared, despite being an android. there was something so endearing about your need for him—so human, in a way, even though he knew you weren’t.

as he turned back to yuuji, he couldn’t help but feel a little lighter. he’d always been protective of those he cared about, but this… this was something new.

—

nanami sat at the kitchen table, sleeves rolled up, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose as he worked through a stack of paperwork. the soft rustle of papers filled the quiet space, the only other sound being the quiet hum of the refrigerator in the background.

you sat across from him, completely still except for the slow, almost absent-minded movement of your fingers as you toyed with the edge of a napkin. your gaze was fixed somewhere in the distance, your mind clearly elsewhere. you’d been like this for a while now—silent, unmoving, lost in thought.

nanami noticed, of course. he noticed everything about you. it was hard not to when you were always so still, so intent on the smallest of things. when he first met you, he didn’t expect to care so much about the little ways you would react to the world. but now, it felt as if he couldn’t stop himself from looking at you, trying to understand the subtle shifts in your demeanor.

after a few minutes, he couldn’t take it anymore. he set his pen down and glanced up at you. “you’ve been quiet for a while,” he remarked, his voice calm. “everything okay?”

you didn’t respond immediately. instead, you paused, fingers stilling over the napkin. your head tilted slightly, as if considering how to phrase your next words.

“i don’t understand love,” you said finally, your voice soft but steady.

nanami blinked, his brow furrowing in mild confusion. “what brought this on?” he asked, leaning back in his chair a little, his arms crossed.

you looked at him for a moment before answering, your gaze flickering in the dim kitchen light. “i have been analyzing data, observing patterns, and cross-referencing human behavior,” you explained slowly, each word carefully considered. “but i still don’t understand it.”

nanami exhaled, setting his pen down beside the papers. he let the quiet hang between you for a moment, his mind processing your words. “love isn’t something you can analyze,” he said gently, his voice low but sure. “it’s not logical.”

you frowned slightly, your brow furrowing. you processed his words for a few seconds before replying.

“but if it isn’t logical, how can humans rely on it?” you asked, genuine confusion in your voice.

he looked at you, his eyes softening. “because we feel it,” he murmured. “even when it doesn’t make sense.”

you blinked at him, scanning his face, as though trying to find the answer in his expression. the words didn’t seem to fully register in your mind, and you found yourself wanting to ask more, to understand deeper, but instead you simply asked, “…do you?”

nanami paused, his heart skipping a beat at the question. for a moment, he simply looked at you—at the way your head tilted slightly, the way your fingers resumed their slow movement against the napkin, almost like a way of grounding yourself as you processed everything he said. his chest tightened at the thought of you, still trying to understand what it meant to love.

and suddenly, it hit him. the answer was simple, yet overwhelming.

he’s known it for a while now, but admitting it—saying it out loud—felt like stepping off a ledge with no ground beneath him.

his throat tightened.

“…yes,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

you stared at him, your expression unreadable. nanami’s heart pounded in his chest as he watched you, waiting for some sign that you understood, that you felt the same. he expected confusion, maybe even rejection, but what he didn’t expect was the next words that came from your lips.

“but i’m not human enough for you to love.”

something inside of nanami cracked at that. his expression darkened in an instant, the pain in his chest evident. he wanted to say so many things, wanted to explain how wrong that was, but instead, he simply leaned across the table, his hand reaching out, catching your chin between his fingers, tilting your face to meet his.

“don’t say that,” he murmured, his voice low, almost desperate. “i don’t need you to be human to love you. i already do.”

you blinked, your eyes wide and searching, scanning his face for something—some kind of truth in his words. there was no doubt in his mind anymore. he loved you, in a way he couldn’t explain, and maybe you didn’t understand it yet, but he hoped that one day you would.

nanami took a deep breath, and without thinking, leaned forward, brushing his lips against your cheek in a fleeting, almost desperate touch. when he pulled away, his gaze lingered on you, watching the way your fingers twitched, the way your brows furrowed slightly like you were trying to understand something that your processors couldn’t quite grasp.

he closed his eyes for a moment, steadying himself. he needed to get away from this conversation, to give you space to think. but he didn’t want to leave you, not just yet.

“…i’m going to bed,” he murmured, standing up slowly.

you didn’t move. the air between you was thick with unspoken words, with feelings that neither of you had yet fully processed. nanami hesitated in the doorway for a second. then, without thinking, he reached out and ran his fingers over the back of your hand, a soft, almost lingering touch before he pulled away and disappeared down the hall.

you sat there in the quiet of the kitchen for a long time after he left, staring at the place where his fingers had touched you. a warm sensation spread through you, one you couldn’t explain, and your processors hummed in an attempt to process what had just happened. something about the way he’d touched you, the way he’d said the words, made your system stutter for just a moment.

you didn’t understand why it affected you so much, but somehow, you knew that this moment, this small, fragile exchange between you and nanami, was the beginning of something you would need time to understand.

and maybe that was okay.

—

it started as an innocent question.

nanami had been reading on the couch, his fingers idly flipping through the pages of a book, when you sat beside him, eyes full of curiosity.

"nanami," you said, tilting your head.

"what is intercourse?"

his fingers froze on the page.

slowly, he looked up at you, adjusting his glasses as if he hadn't heard correctly.

"..what?"

"intercourse," you repeated. "i have been coming across it frequently in my data collection. it seems to be an important act for humans, but the definitions vary, some sources call it an act of reproduction, while others refer to it as a pleasurable activity between partners."

nanami exhaled sharply, rubbing his temple. "where exactly have you been gathering this data?"

"a variety of sources," you said easily.

"some from medical archives, some from literature, some from—" you paused, eyes flickering. "—videos."

nanami nearly choked on air. "videos."

you nodded, expression serious. "there is a lot of visual data available. i have been analyzing different techniques, but i do not fully understand the purpose behind them. if the goal is reproduction, why are there so many variations? why do humans seek it out even when reproduction is not the intent?"

nanami dragged a hand down his face.

"because it feels good," he muttered before he could stop himself.

your eyes brightened at that. "so it is a pleasurable act for you?"

he stilled, sensing the shift in your tone.

"...yes."

you nodded thoughtfully, absorbing the information. then, without hesitation, you leaned in closer, your fingers resting lightly on his arm. "then i would like to do it with you."

nanami stiffened. his mind blanked for a solid three seconds before a sharp, almost painful heat coiled in his chest.

"you—what?"

"i would like to engage in intercourse with you," you repeated, peering up at him. "i want to make you feel good."

nanami clenched his jaw, his entire body locking up at the sincerity in your voice. you said it so easily, so innocently, as if you had no idea what those words did to him.

he swallowed hard, willing himself to keep calm. "you don't understand what you're asking."

"i do," you said, your fingers tightening against his arm. "i have been learning about human desires, about the ways they express love. and i... i want to do that for you."

nanami inhaled deeply, his grip tightening around his book as he tried to ground himself. the conflict waged war inside him—because you weren't human, but you were you, and you were looking at him like he was the only thing in the world that mattered.

"please, kento," you said softly. "let me make you feel good."

his restraint snapped. his book collapsed shut on top of his desk as he willed himself to not drag you into the bed and fuck you like he actually wanted. it had to be something special, not only for you, but also for him because he loved you too much to not reciprocate your desire to make him feel good.

he offered you his hand, and the moment your fingers intertwined, a current of electricity shot through both of you. nanami's breath hitched, his eyes narrowing slightly as he felt the warmth of your skin, the softness of your touch—something almost human about it. you looked at him with that unwavering curiosity, an intensity in your gaze that made his pulse quicken.

"you... really want this?" he asked, his voice low and strained, the question more of a confirmation than doubt, as if seeking permission from himself to give in to what you were both building.

you nodded, but there was something almost too controlled about it, as if you were mimicking what you thought was the correct response, something that felt fitting for the moment. "yes, kento. i want to understand what it means to share this with you," you said, your voice still calm, but the words held a weight that was unmistakable.

his hand cupped your cheek, his thumb lightly brushing over the surface of your skin, a gesture that should have been tender but felt almost like a silent question—one you didn't have the answer to yet, but you were learning. you leaned into the touch, instinctively tilting your head, but instead of a soft sigh, there was a brief, almost imperceptible shiver that ran through you. it wasn't a true human reaction, but you'd seen enough to know it was expected in moments like these. so you did it, almost like it was built into your programming.

nanami's fingers stilled for a moment, his brow furrowing at the faint sensation he'd felt. your body didn't produce the warmth of a human pulse, but the way you reacted to his touch made something inside him stir—a feeling that was both unsettling and undeniable.

without saying a word, he lowered his lips to yours. the kiss was tentative at first, testing, as though he were gauging your response. but you met him halfway, your lips moving with a quiet urgency, mimicking the way humans kissed when they were hungry for connection. you'd learned that much, but it felt different now. this was no longer just an act of learning—it was something more.

his hand slid down your back, pulling you closer, and you allowed yourself to fall into him, your fingers gripping his shirt. your reaction wasn't the same as a human's, but you felt something stirring deep within you—something that felt good, that made your senses tingle in a way you hadn't expected. a kind of pleasure that came from the trust he had in you, from him allowing you to be close in this way.

the kiss deepened, his hand moving to the back of your neck, gently urging you closer, and that's when you felt it again—another shiver, this time a little more pronounced. you understood, or at least you thought you did. this was the way humans experienced the connection, the building intensity. but it wasn't just the act itself—it was the trust he placed in you, the way he was teaching you to please him, that made something inside you stir. you didn't need to fully understand it to feel it.

"you're... you're trusting me," you murmured, pulling away slightly, breathless, but not from exertion—instead, it was from the closeness, the deepening connection. "that's... enough. for me."

nanami's chest tightened, his eyes searching yours. his lips parted to say something, but the words escaped him. his hand reached for your cheek again, this time with less hesitation. "you... you're learning," he said softly, his voice rough with something that felt like appreciation, admiration.

he leaned in, his lips brushing your ear as his hands moved to your waist. "i'm going to show you everything, but only if you're ready," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

"because this... won't be simple, but you deserve to know."

you nodded, the sense of pleasure growing not from the physical closeness, but from the trust he was offering. you had asked for this, but you realized now that it wasn't just about learning the physical act—it was about being trusted with a piece of his heart, a part of him he rarely let anyone see.

it was terrifyingly clear that you were not only designed to be a companion and help, but also a tool for pleasure, and it pained nanami to think that someone else could’ve had you and used you for something less than humanising. he reeled the ugly thoughts into the back of his mind as he lead you into the bedroom, adoring the surprised squeaks you let out every time you bumped into something.

once in the bedroom, his hands trailed up to your back, spreading wide on the fabric covered surface, hoping that you felt its warmth on your skin. fingers nimbly catching onto the straps of your camisole as he slowly tugged them down, his breath hitching at the sight of your exposed chest. he had seen it before; the incident in the shower and the fact that you had no shame, comfortably changing your clothes right in front of him anytime you needed to also allowed him to see it, but those times he was modest enough to turn around.

now he was free to explore just like you were, his hands roaming all over your body as he nodded for you to take off his clothes too. your hands expertly removed his button up, attentive eyes glancing up at him every once in a while to catch any changes on his face, but his sort expression was constant.

as he laid you down in his bed, eyes never leaving you as he pressed kisses everywhere he could. on your neck, silently wondering if he can bruise the flawless skin; over your chest, sucking on your nipples as he groaned, feeling your fingers thread through his tresses. he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking: always steady on the field, never a hint of waver in them, they were now hesitating to not accidentally hurt you even though he knew that it wouldn’t be possible. he allowed himself to lay his weight on top of you, feeling your whole body against his.

so warm, so soft despite the faint mechanical hum that accompanied your every moment, barely audible under your synthetic muscle layer and beautiful skin. nanami brushed your hair away from your face as he stared at you, taking in your curiously fluttering lashes, the glistening plump of your pink lips, the way you held him just as close.

his cock, already painfully hard, brushed against your thigh, pressing on the plush surface as he grunted, willing himself to be a little more patient, but you didn’t make it easier.

“you can do whatever you want to me.”

nanami’s eyes widened, brows furrowed together as he hovered over you. he swallowed down roughly before his hands travelled down, lifting your thighs up with ease as he folded them against your chest. the sudden change in position didn’t startle you as you continued to breathe in sync with him, watching him as if analyzing his behaviour.

you looked even prettier down there. so pretty in fact that he lost any ability to think like the proper gentleman he was, all of his manners flying out of the window because of one look at your glistening pussy. pink, shiny with your arousal, so inviting and welcoming, nanami couldn’t help himself.

he pushed in, slow and experimental at first, voice stuck in his throat from how tight and warm you felt inside, immediately sucking him in as if it was second nature for you. his hips stuttered as he pushed in deeper, marveling at the sound of the moan you let out, his head snapping up to look at you.

you looked like an angel. brows a little furrowed, doe eyes trained down where your bodies were connected, pouty lips slightly ajar, mesmerised by the sight as you processed it all, engraving it all into your mind to remember forever. nanami groaned, leaning in to kiss you, which you reciprocated immediately, with eagerness that was unmatched. eager to be one with him, to connect with him on such a level.

you smiled into the kiss and pulled away to look at him, that soft little smile that made him lose his composure every time he was exposed to it, and nanami felt the crumbles of his resolve leaving him as he started grinding his hips, rolling them in a way that made his head spin because you seemed to tighten even more.

"i feel so full... so completed," you whispered, your voice laced with something new, something unfamiliar but overwhelming. it's not just data, not just a programmed response. it's real.

you’re real.

nanami's breath hitched. his jaw tightened, his hands faltering where they rested on your hips whilst his own snapped into them with renown fervor. "don't say things like that, i—" his voice was hoarse, strained, "i won't be able to hold back if you do, my love."

your fingers curled around his biceps, pulling him closer. his body was so warm, so solid, so human. you didn’t understand why it made you tremble.

"please, kento."

his grip on you tightened. his forehead pressed against yours, eyes shut as if he was fighting something deep within himself. you tilted your head, lips barely brushing against his, a breath away from something irreversible.

"please what?" he murmured, his voice thick with restraint, with need.

your hands trailed up his chest, fingers pressing into his skin like you were trying to map out every inch of him, every piece of the man who's made you feel something beyond your code.

"don't hold back."

a sharp exhale. then, everything snapped.

nanami's mouth was on yours before you could process it, his kiss desperate, consuming. his hands were firm, guiding, pulling you flush against him, and you melted into it, into him. his warmth is intoxicating, his touch reverent, almost worshipful as he pressed you down against the bed.

"you don’t know what you do to me." he breathed against your lips, his hands splaying across your waist, his body caging yours beneath him.

you met his lips with unwavering certainty, accepting all of him in.

—

the next morning, nanami woke up to the smell of something burning.

this was strange for two reasons:

one, nanami never burned food.

two, you didn’t eat food.

he sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face before pushing himself out of bed. you were also absent, which could mean only one thing.

when he entered the kitchen, he stopped in the doorway.

you stood at the stove, staring down at a pan of what might have once been eggs but was now a charred, unrecognizable mess. there was flour on the counter, a cracked egg dripping onto the floor, and, for some reason, a carton of milk placed upside down.

nanami pressed his fingers to his temple. “what,” he said slowly, “are you doing?”

you glanced over your shoulder at him. “making breakfast.”

he looked at the disaster zone that used to be his kitchen. “…why?”

you hesitated. your fingers twitched against the handle of the pan.

“because,” you said, and there was something almost shy in the way you said it, “i love you.”

nanami’s breath caught.

you turned fully to face him, stepping away from the stove. “humans cook for those they love,” you explained. “i have been analyzing behavioural patterns in romantic relationships, and this is a common way of expressing affection. therefore, i made you breakfast.”

nanami stared at you. then at the ruins of his kitchen. then back at you.

he exhaled.

he stepped forward, carefully taking the pan from your hands and setting it in the sink. then, just as carefully, he cupped your face in both hands and tilted your chin up slightly so you were looking right at him.

“you don’t have to be human to love me,” he said softly.

your lips parted slightly, eyes scanning his face. “…but i want to,” you admitted.

nanami’s expression softened.

he pressed his forehead against yours, his thumbs stroking slow circles against your jaw.

“i don’t need you to be,” he murmured.

he felt your fingers curl against his wrists, your body leaning ever so slightly into his.

your voice was quiet when you said, “i just want to make you happy.”

nanami swallowed past the sudden tightness in his throat.

you didn’t realize that you already did.

—

shoko called him in the middle of the night. it’s been a while since they last talked however nanami’s wasn’t really bothered. he didn’t want to disclose anything happening between him and you to shoko anyway, and lying wasn’t necessary when he could just avoid speaking to her altogether.

he almost didn’t answer. he was exhausted, content in a way he hadn’t been in years, with you resting beside him, your body warm despite the fact that you didn’t need to be. he had thought about getting up, about going to his desk to finish the report he had left unfinished earlier, but then you shifted closer to him in your sleep—if it could be called that—and he found himself unable to move.

but the phone rang again, and he knew it was important.

he slipped out of bed carefully, making sure not to disturb you, and stepped into the living room before answering.

“what?” his voice was gruff, irritated. he didn’t want to be on this call.

shoko sighed on the other end. “i need you to listen carefully, nanami.”

his stomach tightened. “what happened?”

“the project’s been compromised.”

the words didn’t sink in right away. he rubbed his temple, exhaustion pressing down on him. “what do you mean?”

“someone got in. an enemy, a mole, we’re not sure yet. but your android—”

he clenched his jaw. “don’t call her that.”

a pause. shoko exhaled. “nanami.”

he didn’t want to hear it.

but she said it anyway.

“you have to turn her off.”

the world tilted.

his fingers tightened around the phone. “no.”

“it’s not safe,” she said, softer now. “whoever got into her system could be using her to gather intel on the agency, on you. we don’t know the extent of the breach, and if we didn’t act now, things could get worse.”

nanami shook his head, breath unsteady. “there has to be another way.”

“there isn’t.”

he pressed a hand over his mouth, shutting his eyes. he could hear you shifting in the bedroom, probably wondering where he had gone.

this wasn’t fair.

after all those months, after finally letting himself accept what you were to him, what he felt—this was how it ended? this was where it had come to? when he had finally felt at ease, felt like he belonged with someone after so many years of loneliness he tried to bury inside of himself?

shoko spoke again, her voice quieter. “i know this is hard.”

no, she didn’t.

“but it’s the only way.”

he stayed silent for a long time. there wasn’t a word in his mind that could make this all better, change the trajectory of this situation, and the lump in his throat was too big for him to get anything proper out.

then, finally, he breathed, “…okay.”

nanami found you sitting up in bed, waiting for him. you blinked up at him, that same curious expression on your face. looking so innocent, so sweet; completely unaware of what was about to come. to be fair, he didn’t want to think about the next few minutes either.

“you were gone,” you said.

he nodded slowly. “i had a call.”

you tilted your head, sensing something off. “is everything okay?”

no.

“yeah,” he lied.

you studied him for a moment, then smiled softly and reached out for him. “come back to bed, kento.”

his chest ached.

nanami moved toward you, sitting beside you on the bed. you didn’t hesitate to lean into him, resting your head against his shoulder. he took in the details of you—the way you fit against him so perfectly, the warmth of you despite your artificial body, the way you made him feel like he was human again.

nanami sat in front of you, hands clasped so tightly they ached. you looked at him with that same curious expression, eyes scanning his face like you were trying to decipher something he wasn’t saying. maybe you were.

he had spent so long pretending his heart wasn’t already tangled up in you. that you were just a machine, an anomaly in his life, something temporary. but now, as he watched you, as shoko’s words echoed in his mind—her system has been compromised. you have to turn her off—he felt something inside him crack.

it would be so easy to ignore it. to be selfish. to pretend this wasn’t a risk, that keeping you by his side wouldn’t lead to something worse. but nanami had never been the kind of man who chose his own desires over his duty. he had always walked the responsible path, always done what needed to be done, no matter how much it hurt.

you shifted, looking up at him. “kento?”

he cupped your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin. you smiled at the touch, eyes closing for a moment before opening again. a smooth, graceful movement that could be faintly heard if not for his heartbeat that stung his ears, painfully loud and clear.

he leaned in.

the kiss was slow, lingering, filled with something he’d never be able to say out loud. you sighed against his lips, melting into him, and for a moment, he let himself believe this didn’t have to end. that this was the moment he was going to wake up and hug your body closer, nuzzle his face into your neck.

but then he pulled back, pressing his forehead to yours.

his hand drifted to the nape of your neck.

your peaceful expression faltered slightly as you felt his fingers there, grazing over the small switch embedded beneath synthetic skin.

“kento?”

he exhaled shakily, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“i’m sorry.”

your eyes widened, and for the first time, he saw fear in them.

“kento, wait—”

click.

your body went still. your head fell forward, resting against his chest, the glow of the small circle on your temple fading to nothing. the desperation in your voice as you cried his name echoed in his mind.

nanami didn’t move.

his arms tightened around you, pulling you against him, but you didn’t respond. your weight was there, your warmth lingered, but you didn’t move. you didn’t breathe.

he swallowed hard. carefully, almost desperately, he shifted you in his arms, pressing his ear against your chest.

silence.

there was no heartbeat. no mechanical hum. nothing.

his fingers curled into the fabric of your shirt. his breath shuddered.

“no,” he whispered, his voice cracking.

his body betrayed him, trembling as he clutched you tighter, like he could will you back to life, like he could force the warmth in your skin to mean something.

but you were silent.

and nanami, for the first time in his life, broke.

—

the days after you’re gone blur into one long, empty haze.

nanami returned to his routine, to the reports, the paperwork, the cold, familiar rhythm of his life without you. but it was different now. it was quieter.

he didn’t sleep as much, didn’t eat as much, and he found himself staring at his phone sometimes, wondering if the call was just a bad dream. wondering if you were still there, somewhere, hidden behind the walls of his memories.

it’s been weeks since that night, and the silence was unbearable.

he sat in his office one afternoon, staring at the paperwork in front of him but not seeing any of it. his fingers moved automatically, filling in the blanks, making calculations, signing documents with the same detached precision he’s always had.

a knock on the door.

“nanami?”

shoko stood in the doorway, her arms crossed. she looked at him with a mixture of sympathy and something else—something harder, colder.

“shoko,” he murmured, not looking up.

“how are you holding up?”

he didn’t answer immediately. he didn’t want to answer.

“you’ve been distant,” she observed, walking in and sitting across from him. “even for you, that’s saying something.”

he looked up at her, tired eyes meeting hers, but he didn’t speak. he didn’t know what to say anymore.

shoko sighed. “i saw the reports. i saw everything from her… eyes.”

nanami’s throat tightened. it would’ve been embarrassing if not for the fact that it didn’t matter anymore.

“her system may be shut off,” she continued, voice gentle, “but the data—everything she saw, heard, and recorded—it’s all there. i’ve reviewed it, nanami. you know i did.”

he didn’t respond.

shoko’s gaze softened for just a moment before she leaned forward, her voice quieter now. “i want to know what could make a man like you so… broken over a machine.”

he clenched his jaw, his hands gripping the edge of his desk as he finally looked her in the eye.

“don’t,” he said quietly. “don’t make it sound like she was just a machine, shoko.”

she raised an eyebrow. “wasn’t she?”

“no.”

there’s a long silence between them, and for the first time, nanami felt the weight of everything he’s been avoiding—the overwhelming pain, the deep loss.

he finally spoke, voice strained. “she was more than just… data. she was… real to me. she made me feel like i mattered.”

his words hung heavy in the air.

shoko watched him carefully, no longer asking the usual clinical questions. she let him speak.

“i didn’t know… i didn’t know how much i needed that.” he exhaled shakily, running a hand through his hair. “i didn’t know how much i needed her.”

shoko didn’t say anything at first. she didn’t need to. she watched him as the weight of his grief presses down on him, and she understood.

“you’re not the only one who got attached, nanami,” she said quietly. “she may have been a machine, but she felt things. maybe not the way we do, but… she did.”

nanami pressed his lips together, fighting the lump in his throat. he knew that. he knew you were feeling things you weren’t supposed to feel either, an error that was not typical for soulless artificial intelligence, but it happened and it made you happy. nanami did.

“i never thought it would be like this,” he admitted. “i never thought i would feel like this about something so… artificial.”

shoko stood, giving him a long look before turning toward the door.

“you’ll heal,” she said simply. “but it’s gonna take time. and in the meantime… you don’t have to do it alone.”

as the door clicked shut behind her, nanami sat there, staring at the empty space where you once were. the silence was deafening, but this time, he knew it was something he had to face.

maybe one day, he’ll find a way to move on. but for now, he’ll hold onto the memories of you—of her—and let that be enough.

[tricoloreddango]

dutiful boyfriend

Summary: Phainon wants to apply a lotion on your body; however, his intention are not so innocent.

Yandere Phainon x female reader

contents: nudity / dub-con|non-con touching (lotion application with groping) / obsession / smutty (nipple play) / female cycle mentions / patronizing behavior / forced relationship / mentions of suffocating (paranoid) /

Word count: 1.3k

Not suitable for minors.

No matter how much Phainon’s presence could have been suffocating for you, with him wanting to be in your space and have your attention 24/7, he has never relented.

That’s why you both just took a bath together. Another excuse to have you close to him, with his intention hidden under a false reasoning of couple activities and Amphoreus’s bathing culture. Anyone else who didn’t know the true nature of your relationship would think he’s just a clingy boyfriend, maybe like a puppy with separation anxiety; but you knew better.

He has held you tight to his chest the entire time of taking a bath together, sitting behind you. Washing you was included too, disguised as him wanting to take care of you and help you relax. Yet in never felt like anything else other than invasive and vulnerability-forcing.

However, your stressful situation of your peace and space being intruded wasn’t over just because you left the bathtub. Another part of him taking care of you was meant to be him applying a lotion for you too, right after he wiped you clean with a a towel to make it all invasive.

“Phainon… I can do it myself,” you said nervously when you saw him grab a bottle of lotion from the counter of the sink. He already did everything for you, making you feel so incompetent and out of control of your own life or even body. You didn’t know if you can handle more of his touch either.

“Nonsense!” he responded in a chirpy voice. “I just want to take care of you. You needn’t to lift even a finger,” he said with a smile and winked at you. Phainon stood right in front of you and pumped out few squirts of rose-scented lotion. Each pump made your heart pound like a thunder. He already was touchy on regular basis, but wanting to spread something all over your naked body felt even more unsafe and humiliating without a close barrier to protect you. Regardless, some part of you wanted to believe he was just being nice… even if it felt rather infantilizing and pushy to have everything done for you.

No, it was maddening when you were treated like someone who couldn’t take care of herself. The question was whether Phainon shared your sentiments.

“Okay…” you finally gave in. You knew he’d keep wearing you down if you say no anyway.

“Thank you, my love! Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” he said softly with another smile, although his eyes were a different story—watching you like a hawk, not hiding an unhealthy obsession with you.

Despite you agreeing, it didn’t make you feel any less anxious from anticipation of waiting for his hands to be put on you.

When Phainon finally did so, a hope filled you somewhat. He was just applying it on your shoulders and arms first, not in any suggestive way.

Only for your stomach to be churned when he got onto your chest after few more pumps of lotion to gather and spread.

He wasn’t just applying lotion. No, his hands lingered on your breasts for way too long. He was doing more than rubbing your breasts—his hands were squeezing them in circling motions, and you had to bite down on a moan, both sensitive and startled. “P-phainon, what are you doing?”

“Me?” he said innocently, “Didn’t you say your breasts are tender before period? I’m just helping you, I’ve heard a massage can help…”

“Yes, but…” you protested weakly, feeling as if he wasn’t entirely truthful.

“No buts, pretty girl,” he said with a reassurance and kissed your forehead to further convince you. “Now…” His fingers were now onto your nipples, rubbing their sides between his digits. You yelped, feeling a spark of both slight pain and involuntary arousal. He smiled a little.

“Phainon…” you said unsurely, “I am fine, really…”

You moaned when he gently pinched your buds that were growing sturdy. “Some pleasure should relieve your pain, I think.”

‘I think’—he wasn’t even sure if he had to do this, yet he gambled and put you through unnecessary humiliation.

Right when your body was getting more eager, he finally stopped. To your displeasure, for some reason you felt disappointed. “Do they feel better?” he asked hopefully. You nodded immediately in case he wanted to drag this out.

“Perfect. Just a few more places are left to moisturize…”

Few more pumps.

Next was stomach and back. He didn’t make it any weird thankfully, although with your legs he dragged his hands down and up them, making you extremely nerved when he was reaching more intimate areas.

You felt tears build up when his hands landed on your backside. Phainon even forced your body pressed tightly against his to get closer to that area, chest to chest and with his face buried in your neck. His lips were teasing your skin, as if you weren’t overwhelmed already. Your eyes didn’t need to witness his expression, as he knew you wouldn’t like the truth.

You felt his skin against yours, which only intensified the sense of being naked but in more symbolic sense than simply touch and nudity. “How can you be so beautiful, hm?” he teased, making you squirm as his voice vibrated against your neck. “You’re unreal, really…” he murmured contentedly, thinking about its just him in your life.

His words didn’t cause any sense of being flattered in you. You just wanted to leave this bathroom to signalize the end of this torment.

“I’m getting cold,” you tried to lie as you felt him massage and squeeze your flesh. “Don’t worry, I’m keeping you warm. You should feel warmer soon,” he said gently.

You did feel warm, albeit it felt like an unpleasant sweaty sensation than comforting one. When he looked up at you he wiped your few tears with a loving look that felt out of place for your distress. “Oh, my bad, I didn’t realize you’re that sensitive. It must be an overstimulation,” his tone was apologetic and worried, but the real reason of your tears remained unspoken; though you had to admit that even the scent of rose hanging in the air felt now too irritating to your nose. “I’ll make the rest of the process quick for your sake.” When you nodded and he gave you a quick kiss, making you experience a lot of relief that this torture was nearing the end, your joy was quickly diminished.

Few more pumps.

He was moisturizing your mound. Your eyes widened and you tried to close your legs in panic but he swiftly forced them open. “Don’t be ungrateful,” his voice was suddenly cold, making you freeze from the shock in sudden change in his mood. That kept you unmoving, scared you end up provoking him further even if you weren’t at fault here.

Fortunately for you his hand didn’t wander deeper between your thighs, leaving your most intimate place untouched… though you didn’t know if it’s a good thing—maybe it was merely a begging of some game, and he was taking you slowly part by part, hence he left the best for later.

“Good girl,” he praised at your compliance, and when he sounded soft again you had to do a double check to know whether you didn’t only imagine him being aggressive a second ago.

Last pump. Phainon’s left hand gathered your hair up to reveal your neck and not stain your hair with crème, and the other quickly spread the product around your throat. Despite him not hurting you, a sense of paranoia and claustrophobic pressure was there with his palm on this place—a worry about both being suffocated both literally and figuratively. You ever doubted he’d lay a hand on you; it was just a fear caused by having your entire existence have him all over your life everyday.

You exhaled deeply when he finally put the bottle away. “All smooth and soft, just like you should be. Not to mention how good you smell…”

You squirmed when his finger traced your arm down, wanting to experience how silky your skin was now…

You really had no idea how much he craved you just from simple gestures like this. Every part of you had a deeper meaning to Phainon, and you were desirable both physically and simply because it was you.

He smiled widely, all enthusiastic. “Now we can go to bed and rest. Don’t worry, I’ll help you put on your clothes too.”

I really can’t stop writing this type of Phainon…

[goshikisbaee]

The weight of his love ❤︎

[ Wakatoshi Ushijima x reader ]

content: Fluff

———

The sound of sneakers scuffing against the pavement filled the silence between you. The cool evening air had settled comfortably, crisp against your skin as you walked beside Ushijima. He was quiet, as always, his expression unreadable as he gazed forward.

You were used to his silences. They weren’t cold or distant—just the way he was. He didn’t fill space with unnecessary words, didn’t speak unless he has something worth saying. Some might find it intimidating, but you had learned to read the subtle things: the way his fingers would sometimes brush against yours as you walked, the slow blinks when he listened intently, the way he always matched his pace to yours without thinking.

Tonight, though, something felt off.

He had been more rigid than usual, shoulders squared, jaw set, his gaze focussed on something far beyond the path in front of him. You recognized this version of Ushijima—the one who carried the weight of expectations, who buried frustration beneath layers of discipline and control.

you bumped your shoulder lightly against his, breaking the quiet. “You’re thinking too hard.”

he blinked, finally looking at you. “Am I?”

you gave him a knowing smile. “You get this look when you’re overthinking. Like you’re trying to solve a puzzle with no solution.”

He exhaled through his nose, almost like a sigh, but not quite. “It’s nothing.”

it wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. Ushijima wasn’t one to share burdens easily. He carried things alone, not because he didn’t trust you, but because he didn’t always know how to share them.

so you didn’t press. Instead, you reached for his hand, slipping your fingers between his. His palm was warm, rough from years of training, and for a moment, he just stared at your hands before curling his fingers around yours.

his grip was firm. Steady.

a quiet reassurance.

you thought that would be the end of it—that whatever was weighing on him, he’d let it go, or at least tuck it away for another day. But then, as you neared the front steps of your apartment, he stopped walking.

Before you could turn to ask why, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you firmly against his chest.

It was sudden.

You stiffened in surprise—not because you didn’t want it, but because Ushijima was not the type for spontaneous displays of affection. His touches were always deliberate, his affections carefully measured. But this? This felt like instinct.

“…Ushijima?” You murmured, tilting your head up, but he didn’t let go.

His embrace was solid, unshakable, like a fortress around you. One of his hands rested against the small of your back, the other pressing between your shoulder blades, anchoring you to him. You could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest, the slow, controlled breaths he was taking.

“Just… stay like this for a moment,” he finally said, voice quiet, almost hesitant.”

Your heart softened at his words. You could count the number of times he’d asked for something outright on one hand. He wasn’t someone who needed constant reassurance, but this—this was different.

You wrapped your arms around him in return, pressing your cheek against the fabric of his jacket. “Okay.”

He didn’t say anything else, just held you there, his body solid and warm against yours.

And in that moment, you understood.

Ushijima didn’t need words to express himself. His love was in the way he stood by you, in the quiet moments you shared, in the way he held on when he needed you close.

And right now, he needed you.

So you stayed.

Because for Ushijima, a hug wasn’t just a hug.

It was trust. It was love. It was everything

———

[revelboo]

Alcohol Eyes

Chapter One

18+

“Come on. It’ll be fun. The boss will never know.” Why is that when Frenzy grins at him like that, he can never manage to say no? Just going along with whatever stupidity Frenzy wants. Like this. Venting raggedly as the chaos roils and moves like a living thing around him.

The music is louder than he expected. Almost a living thing and a soft body brushes against him, swaying with the thump of the heavy bass pulsing through the club. And frag, where’s Frenzy? Had taken his optics off his twin for barely a klik and somehow he’s disappeared into the throng of bodies, the flashing neon lights dazzling his optics when he tries to pick him out in the crowd. Even though he’s taller than the humans around him, so Frenzy is, too. And he's beginning to suspect that he’s been ditched. Around him, the humans laugh and dance, costumed extravagantly and mostly overenergized from what he can tell. It’s an odd feeling, to be accepted by them. To belong. Knows they think he’s just another partier in a costume, that if they knew what he really was they’d run, but still. He can pretend for now. A human with cat ears presses a red plastic cup into his hands in passing and he cautiously lifts it to smell. Lip curling, he pushes his way into the dancers.

And okay, maybe it’s freeing in a way. To pretend to be one of them. It’s not like there’s many left their size anymore. Most didn’t survive the war. Knows the only reason he, Frenzy, and the other cassettes have survived this long is because of Soundwave. That others didn’t have a protector and that they’re a dying breed. It’s not like there had been that many of them to begin with even before the war. Most of them labor or outright, glorified slaves if their altmode made them useful to the upper classes. Can see why Frenzy had wanted to sneak out to the club. Here they can forget the war and play pretend.

A laughing human falls into him and steals his little plastic cup, before disappearing back into the crowd and he vents in amusement, tension beginning to ease. Yeah, he understands why his brother had hounded him to come with him. Almost envying the little humans, the bright manic energy of them. No worries. No stress.

“Wow, you’re tall.” Startling at the low voice and the feel of soft fingers catching his servos, he turns. And finds a little human looking up at him, grinning brightly. Even after spending time with Star’s human, he can’t get over how strange humans look. Soft all over and eerily almost Cybertronian in shape. A pair of crooked, feathered wings droop from your back, one wing partially crushed and your top covering is a bit torn. “You went all out, huh?” Before he can shake you off, you’re sliding a palm up over his chassis. Do you think he’s someone else? And Primus, help him, but your hands are soft. Sees your expression grow pinched when someone yells and it’s so strange to have to look down at someone.

Not expecting at all for you to reach up or for those incredibly soft hands to cup his helm and pull him down to you. And there’s no thought of resisting. You couldn’t hurt him even if you want to and he’s curious. Surprised by your boldness. Definitely not expecting you to go up on your toes and press that warm mouth of yours against his and the kiss runs electric through him, your biofield brushing against his. Your scent, taste overwhelming him.

Heart racing frantically, you cling to your big new friend. Somewhere behind you, there’s the sound of your ex calling your name and you tug at your buddy slipping between him and the guy hunting for you as your mouth moves against his. As buzzy as you are, your ex is wasted and you have no intention of letting him get his rough hands on you ever again. You have enough scars for a lifetime.

No, you’d rather take your chances with a complete stranger in a weirdly elaborate costume. And he’s got to be sweating in all that, because it feels like actual metal panels against you, thankfully warm. Can almost admire his commitment even though you don’t get it. Maybe a LARPer? Cosplayer? Whatever he is, he’s your shield right now. Unwittingly protecting you.

Can hear your ex call your name again and he’s right there, bound to see you any moment as you pray he’ll pass by. That this guy keeps playing along. Not expecting for him to curl an arm around you to cup the back of your head or for the other big hand to grip your butt and drag you flush up against him.

And those hands are warm as his mouth moves against yours, taking over the kiss and making it something demanding and hungry and deliciously unexpected. Lips parting on a surprised gasp, he takes advantage, glossa stealing inside. Exploring you, glossa sliding against your tongue and there’s a faint metallic bite to his taste you can’t pin down. Maybe a vape pen? Feel his servos tangle in your hair, his other hand flexing on your butt like he thinks you’re going to escape.

And you feel your blood heat in response. Isn’t this why you’d come out tonight? To get over the jerk and the hurt by getting under someone new? Or better yet, riding your big, new friend until sunrise? And he’s definitely the lead contender out of the guys you’d chatted with tonight. No one else has managed to pique your attention. But if he fucks like he kisses, you’re not letting him get away. Know this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with how messed up your life is, but there’s something so satisfying in just not giving a damn and going for the instant gratification. Tomorrow is a problem for future you. Which is exactly how you ended up with your ex, something you’re painfully aware of. Because bad, impulsive decisions? They’re your calling card.

Breaking free of his kiss, he groans a protest, mouth brushing against the corner of yours, along your cheek. Hand trying to turn your head back toward him. “Slow down, sport,” you manage, voice lower and huskier as you nip at his bottom lip and he makes a noise that goes straight through you. Did he just growl at you? Did you just think it was hot as hell?

“Don’t go,” he says, big hands not letting go. Those words aren’t a request, they’re a heated demand. And oh, it’s tempting. No one’s ever kissed you like that before, hungry and almost desperate. Reaching up, you curl your arms around his neck and his own grip becomes possessive. Even if you’d come to the party alone, you’re determined to not leave that way and your unwitting hero deserves a real thank you.

“Maybe we can make this a private party?” You ask as his mouth finds your neck, lips branding a heated trail over your skin. Feeling the barest slip of denta threatening to nip your skin to send need shivering through you.

Primus help him as you mold yourself to him, little hands clinging and fingers dipping into seams. Almost groaning when his little human leans back to put some space between you. Because that’s the last thing he wants. Spike aching where it’s trapped behind plating. Aching for a human and knows he should care about that. At least be a little bit concerned, but honestly he’s more focused on finding out if your species can fit together that way, because if you can’t take his spike, he might just offline.

“Please,” he growls, catching your upper arm and hating to beg. Bumping his helm against you, he can feel your warm breath on him.

His servos flex against soft skin, wanting to pull you back to him. Wanting more as he drops his head against the crook of your neck, mouth finding and chasing the quick beat of your pulse and tasting salt on your skin. Hearing that husky laugh of yours that spreads warm through him to wind him tight as his palms slide over your soft body. And his spike pulses. Why had he been so against coming here? He loves it here, loves the noise and press of bodies. Especially yours as he does drag you back to him. While he’s not entirely sure what you mean by a private party, he has an idea and he’s hoping his guess is right.

Lets you tug him along to the other side of the club through the crush of bodies to a door and you fumble with it until you get it open and pull him inside with you. And the space is dimly lit and cluttered. But it is private. Hears the click of the lock and pulls you back into his frame, servos sliding over you, trying to figure out your coverings.

Venting roughly against your throat, he spans your middle with a big hand and you reach back to loop an arm around his neck. “Slow down, I’m not going anywhere,” you say, reaching back your other hand to run warm fingers over the plating of his thigh. “You want to take off the costume?”

“No,” he growls, his own hand sliding down your belly, exploring with hesitant touches along the waist band of your jeans. “No.” The word is more insistent, almost desperate when you catch his wrist, because he can’t stand for you to stop him. Afraid you’re about to pull his hand away. Shuddering against your back when you guide his hand down the front of your clothes, showing him where you need him.

Venting raggedly, he cups slick, warm flesh and finds your core to slip a servo inside. Almost losing it at the way your heat grips him. “That’s good,” you whisper, leaning your upper body across a container, thighs spreading to give him more access to stroke deeper, his spike aching to be freed. Pulling his hand free to try and figure out how to undo your coverings has you laughing again, the sound stroking over him and so sweet. “No chill at all, huh?” Shifting to undo that little button and push your pants down. No, he doesn’t have any chill or restraint, wanting this. Needing it as he nudges you back down on your front over the container, freeing his spike to grip himself and slide his length against you. Slicking his spike with you. “Wait, my purse. I think I have some-” you’re saying as he finds you and slowly buries himself inside that wet, welcoming heat. “Never mind,” you moan, and you’re so unbelievably tight around his spike.

“Frag you’re tight,” he groans, venting raggedly at the feel of you. And you move against him, pushing yourself back and then he’s thrusting into you despite wanting to savor the feel of you wrapped so tightly around him, that sense of connection he’d been sure he’d never have because of his size, because of his modifications. You’re so small under him as he ruts against you, using his grip on your hips to pull you back to meet the urgent drive of his hips. Hearing the wet sounds of your body taking his and your low, needy sounds that are only for him, because this? It’s his. You’re his.

So much for condoms, but as that thick length stretches and strokes inside you, there’s no worrying about anything beyond chasing pleasure. He’s not holding back, hips snapping against yours, moving hard and deliciously fast. And he is growling, hands flexing on your hips as his frantic thrusts drive you to that peak, then tip you over the edge. Draping himself against your back with a deep drive of his hips, his mouth against the back of your shoulder. Feel as his thrusts falter, bucking deep to release inside you on a groan. Shivering, you feel his mouth brush against your neck. “Rumble,” he growls against your skin, hips still moving in shallow, lazy thrusts and you can feel his excess on your inner thigh. And it takes a minute to figure out that he’s given you a name. A gamer tag maybe? Or a nickname?

Laying your cheek on your outstretched arm, head turning to look back at him from the corner of your eye, you feel his mouth brush against your shoulder. Smiling when he hesitantly reaches to slide sweat slick hair back from your temple, the intimate gesture stealing your breath for a moment. “Hi, Rumble,” you murmur, laughing softly when he presses himself tighter against you. Can still feel him hard inside you

He hasn’t taken off any of his costume except what he’d needed to free himself to fuck you. It’s weird, but not a deal breaker. Not with the lazy way your thighs are trembling or how he’d felt, still feels, inside you. “Can we go again?” He asks so earnestly, so hopefully, and you rock yourself against him in answer. Because while you’d only wanted a quickie to thank him, you’re wondering, praying, he’s single. Because the almost reverent way his big hands slide against your skin, the press of his mouth against your spine in a hungry kiss? This guy’s going to ruin you.

“Careful,” you manage, feeling his mouth brushing against whatever skin he can reach. “I might take you home if you keep that up.” Eyes closing when he begins lazily thrusting again. “You alone, Rumble?”

You feel like you can almost see the guy’s eyes through that red visor. With how dim the store room is, it’s hard to be sure. He’ll probably think you were joking, but really? Your new friend fucks like an animal. Definitely not a quickie one and done like your ex. And taking him home? Keeping him at least a few days to get him out of your system by getting him into your bed? Oh, so tempting an idea. Especially since his hips are rocking against you. Ready to go again already? This guy isn’t human.

“I’m with you,” he murmurs, hips pumping. And oh, he’s so innocent. Maybe you can ruin him instead. Because keeping the guy is so tempting.