#even discord is getting pretty shit now but I mean

[lesedacondyvidi]

I'm gonna put this here in case yall wanna reach out in the event that my account gets fucking wiped by staff

thats me. I'm on discord and I have a telegram now too as a backup.

I don't... see this as likely? I seem to have just flown under staff's radar or the radar of the people who might be mass flagging or. whatever the hell is happening to avery. but. I aint gonna take my chances. If you wanna keep in touch, for the time being, discord is how.

[gamerwoo]

dumb/random things skz would do while ur dating

a/n: don’t ask me what this is or why i came up w it these are just Thoughts That I Have Sometimes 

-

chan: if he has spare time and gets bored, he’ll splice up voicemails or voice messages you’ve sent him to make you say random shit and then he sends it to you out of nowhere with absolutely zero context. it could be anywhere from the raunchiest, dirtiest things you’ve ever heard, to just straight up dumb things, to him making you say how amazing and great he is and how much you love him. either way, he thinks he’s hilarious

minho: literally just stares at you for no reason. you’re on your phone across the room and he’s staring. just deadpan staring. and once you notice and make eye contact he gives you a mean look like you were staring at him first and he’s mad about it. even after you look away, he’s still staring. if you ask what he wants he’ll be like “why tf are you staring at me?? get a hobby, freak”

changbin: actually expects you to open doors for him and pull out his chair and lay your jacket out over a puddle. if you don’t, he just stares at you and eyes the thing he wanted you to do for him. obviously you’d never put your jacket over a puddle when he could literally walk around it but he’ll scoff and dramatically roll his eyes and make some comment about “guess romance really is dead” or something dumb

hyunjin: maybe he used to actually sketch you really nicely at one point but now he’s comfortable with you and now the only times he draws you is a really rough and quick sketch that’s so poorly done and it’s always you making ugly faces and he just slides it over to you and goes “this is you rn" and it’s you looking very pissed off and with a unibrow and you’re shrimp-backing so hard

jisung: keeps making those powerpoint presentations for you about different topics but he only makes them between like 11pm-3am so the farther into it he gets, the weirder it gets and the less sense it makes. usually the topics don’t really make sense either, though. like the time he showed you ‘101 reasons why you should still love me as a worm :)’. but there was the time he presented you with ‘69 reasons why i love you’ and even though 25% of them were weird things like ‘your breath smells normal’ and ‘you haven’t committed a felony so i don’t have to have a long distance relationship with someone in prison’ you still thought it was pretty sweet

felix: if you think he won’t act like those cringey gamer couples, you’re so fucking wrong. whether he’s doing it ironically or seriously, he’s going to drag you into his shenanigans. your names on different games have to match. they’ve been shit like ‘their dps / his pocket’ and 'grilled cheese / tomato soup’ to unhinged things like ‘mike huchie / mike hunt’ and ‘blowing smoke / smoke’. he always thinks it’s so fucking funny but you want to die. your discord names are ‘their daddy / his kitten’ and whenever you change it, he changes it back

seungmin: he does literally anything and pretends it wasn’t him. plays with your hair while you’re cooking dinner, but when you turn to look at him, he looks around and starts whistling. he’ll knock your closed water bottle straight out of your hand for no reason and then shrug at you like it was the fucking wind. even when he kisses your cheek he’ll gasp and be like “who did that?”

jeongin: he’ll act cute or whatever when he wants something but god forbid you do it back. the amount of judging he’ll do will make you want to leave the house. “please don’t ever do that again, you’re embarrassing me” as if you didn’t just copy everything he’s ever done to you. he’s gone so far as to pretend he doesn’t know you out in public over this. only he can be cute to get his way. if you do it, it’s cringe

[imagine-shenanigans]

sighs dramatically.

Okay but the ghost distribution system as we call it is hysterical but can we tlak about how None Of The 141 are built to date.

Like, sure, Gaz is great at flirting, and he's charming, but DATES? He's the type who asks you on a date because he thinks youre pretty/handsome/adorable/etc but by the time the two of you actually go on a date he's ready figured out like. the whole rest of your lives together. He's already imagined up 20 different scenarios of different dates, stalked your front-facing social media and found your secret or hidden accounts that theoretically don't link back to you. Sure, he's scrounged through your discord servers and your private messages and texts and a thousand other things while he was bored on leave. He knows enough to know that he's happy with what comes next. All dates are simply... ritual at this point? Something obligational, other than the fact he gets to spend time with you.

You're not going anywhere, he's just the least heavy handed of them, the one who'll let you think its your choice to keep him around until he's got his ring officially on your finger. Life won't go according to plan but he's prepared for that too. In his head, you're already married anyway, he's just working his way up to that part. He'll manufacture any scenario to keep you with him, because he wants you to be. And he'll make sure you want to be too.

Soap on the other hand is WAY less tactful about it. He's charming, and he'll take you on dates, sure, but the moment he spots you it's incredibly easy to get obsessed. He immediately drops an arm around you, purring in your ear and talking to you. Doesn't ask you on a date so much as demands it, puts his number in your phone and presses a kiss to your temple, his fingertips squeezing your chin before you leave. God forbid you let him into your home - he'll never leave if you do. Johnny's SUCH a physical guy that while, yes, personality matters, it seals the deal for him the moment he's got his tongue down your throat and his fingers in your pants. Something about the way you settle in against him makes him feel like he's home, and you will never get rid of him.

He's willing to take you on dates if you need more proof, but he won't even pretend like he doesnt already have a copy of your key. Like he's not telling the guys about the bonnie little thing he's going home to - he slips into your apartment/house/etc and into your bed without changing, barely finding time to slip his boots off. Presses one hand to your mouth and just... holds you. He'll fuck you within an inch of your life later when you're less panicked, sure, but he just wants to press his nose to your neck and breathe you in. If his hips rut against your ass, ignore it for now. (Haha... unless? No? okay in a minute then)

Price is just as manipulative as Gaz can be, just as charming as Soap and Gaz too. But he just... doesn't care, just like Simon. There's a reason so many people have Price with like... mail order bride or a "one day you look up and hes your husband" scenario and thats because he's good at what he does. And by that I mean being a husband and pumping you full of kids whether or not its physically possible. (Btw check out Ceil's mail order bride western au its good shit, or Bo's Kingpin Price drabbles, makes me lose it every time.)

He sees you walking about and the MOMENT you do anything remotely domestic - pick up a neice/nephew/babysitting kid/etc and put em on your hip? Rock hard. play peekaboo with a baby across from you at a cafe? pick up after yourself just to be polite to the waitress? he's already stalking you on multiple platforms theres no goddamn way youre getting away from him. He'll figure out where you go in your free time and insert himself there as naturally as possible. He's not particularly hiding what he's doing either - he likes to test you, to see if you notice things missing or moved. If you do, he'll be a little more cautious, use it as reason to drive you into hsi arms. If you don't he jsut views it as all the more reason to take you away - poor thing, you just can't help yourself can you? You're lucky nobody else has got their claws around you, hm?

[howtofightwrite]

What're the effects of receiving a bunch of blunt inpact strikes across the body in a very short period of time?

MC in a suit of armor gets to facetank a super special move and withstands a huge amount of damage but i figure at least rhat everything feels numb and she's gonna feel like shit today as well as next week

It depends on how much physical abuse she takes. Too much kinetic force, even if it's effectively distributed, can still cause internal hemorrhaging or concussions, and can still kill you.

It's probably worth remembering that bruising is “just” subdermal bleeding. So, even though the blood isn't actually leaving your body, it's no longer in your circulatory system, and no longer transporting oxygen to your brain. It's possible, though rare, to bleed to death from extensive bruising without any external bleeding. (Dying from internal hemorrhaging is far more common.)

More realistically, bruises suck. They'll hurt, and be tender, for days to weeks. Even if it's not serious, they could easily end up with some deep muscle bruises that make them absolutely miserable, with minimal actual injuries sustained. (The point of armor is to reduce the effectiveness of incoming harm, so limping off with a bunch of painful bruises is a pretty reasonable outcome.)

Now, armor is usually designed to distribute and minimize incoming kinetic energy. Unless it can fully negate that incoming energy, the risks of injury will remain.

Everything being numb sounds a lot more serious to me. In the moment it's fine, and that could be as simple as an adrenaline rush combined with a lot of pain. However, if it persists into the next week, that starts to sound more like nerve damage, which could mean permanent impairment. Probably with a lot of downtime and physical therapy before she's back up and going. If they were getting bounced around in their armor, there's a very real risk of a pinched (or severed) nerve, which could cause a lifetime of problems.

The biggest potential outcome I haven't touched on yet is concussions. If some of those blows are hitting her in the head, even with a reinforced helmet, that can still result in a concussion and death or permanent brain damage. That said, it can also result in feeling like absolute garbage for a few days, and then recovering. Concussions are no joke, but they are survivable.

So between deep bruising and possibly a concussion, that would have her feeling (and probably) absolutely horrid for a few days. Though, really, if you want something more serious, you've got options now.

-Starke

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[gingersnaptaff]

who are the main characters in welsh arthurian mythos?

Hi anon! You know, I looked at this question and just fuckin DIED with GLEE! Ehdhdjdhdjd I LOVE SHIT LIKE THIS!!!!! SHDJDJDH

First off, Arthur is pretty big. He's less a king and more of a warlord, but there's still a lot of cultural reverence for him in Welsh things. Seriously, Henry VII - a notable faux-Welshman - named his firstborn son Arthur purely because he was going to be Prince of Wales. Also, in Culhwch and Olwen his retinue has TWO Welsh GODS in it - Manawydan and Pryderi (my beloveds.) Idk what they're doing in it but I am inordinately pleased that they are there.

Also, Uther Pendragon / Uther Ben. Taliesin wrote a poem about him which is super fun. (Also, oddly enough Taliesin himself HAS been linked into Arthurian legends on multiple occasions. He's also another Arthur-type in that he's still regarded as tooling the line between mythical and real.)

Gwenhwyfar is also important even though she takes a back seat. Speculation is rife about whether she had a quest/myth about her (sorta like Culhwch and Olwen) and also her name means 'white phantom!' BRING IT BACK. I, for one, think she definitely did have a quest attributed to her in which Arthur had to do something to get her hand in marriage but idk WHAT.

Also, she's a GIANT!!!!!!!! EJDJDKDKDKD

Gwalchmai is also Super Important. There's speculation as to whether he was a mythical character who got implanted into the mythos or if he was always Atthur's nephew. Basically, he's a giant and he kills giants. Seriously, he's CONSTANTLY killing giants in the mythos. Plus he is called 'Gwalchmai Golden / Silver-tongued' in poetry too. In the Mabinogion, he's very often the one to soothe discord between the other knights so he's very diplomatic too.

Cai and Bedwyr, obviously! They come as a pair. Do Not Separate. Now, Cai is sometimes also seen to be a giant but his dad is Cynyr Ceinfarfog who was a real king. He ruled Dyfed and was the dad of Saint Non and, therefore, grandad to SAINT DAVID. (Wales' patron saint!) So Cai, like Arthur, has a saintly lineage. Before the French Romances shifted his character into the more recognisable Kay, Arthur's grumpy seneschal, Cai was a warrior of great renown. And literally superhuman. Like, nobody would received from.a blow from his sword, he could brave fire and water like nobody else, he has the ability to go nine nights and days without sleep or the need to breathe. He's a ledge.

Now, Bedwyr! Again he's a great warrior and ONE-ARMED. He's called Bedwyr Bedrydant (Bedwyr of the Perfect Sinew) and he's HOT SHIT. Seriously, he's like the most beautiful Knight in Arthur's court. The 10th-century poem 'pa gur' says that assailants 'fell by the hundred / before Bedwyr of the Perfect sinew ... fighting with Garwlwyd/ furious with sword and shield.' (Also, BTW Garwlwyd is possibly a werewolf.)

They have to put up with SO MUCH SHIT from Arthur's escapades it's ridiculous. They had to convince Arthur not to intervene in a King abducting a princess and carrying her back to his court, ffs. Give them a HOLIDAY. WITH SALMON TAXIS.

Now, I would say Merlin BUT he is added later into the mythology. He isn't there straight off. But he is Welsh. He's FUN. He was apparently based on Myrddin Wyllt. He went mad, and lived in a forest. His bestie was a king who died.

Now, I also think Owain, and Geraint on account of their having stories written about them but they're two kings who got folded into the mythos a bit later. Urien (Owain's dad) is another example.

Also, Macsen Wledig too. But again writers melded him in later. And I mean this in the sense that he and Arthur share similarities in how they're perceived in Welsh culture.

Anyways, anon, I hope this helps. I'm probably forgetting a TONNE of characters (Peredur, for one.) But I Don't want to bore you or make anybody trawl through this unwillingly so I shall stop! Hopefully, this helps! Thank u for the question!!!!

[dr-spectre]

I wanna quickly discuss Nintendo Music because I got some thoughts on it and I wish to share them, both good!...

And bad....

Okay, as the fellow Splatoon resident, having only Splatoon 3's launch tracks and having NO songs from later updates, seasonal Splatfests, Side Order and Grand Fest is fucking psychotic to me.

You mean to tell me that they are gonna DRIP FEED SONGS IN PRE EXISTING ALBUMS?!?! WHY DOES ANIMAL CROSSING GET 400 TRACKS YET SPLATOON 3 DOESNT GET ALL OF ITS TRACKS?!?! What's next? Is Splatoon 2 not gonna have Octo Expansion music, and are they gonna update AT A LATER TIME??!!

Are they even gonna update Splatoon 3 at all!?!?!?! UGH! Are we gonna get the live/Grand Fest remixes of tracks too?!? Will Splatoon 1 even get added?! WILL I NEVER GET TO HEAR BOMB RUSH BLUSH BUT INSTEAD THE REMIX THAT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE TO LISTEN TO?!?! sigh....

Okay enough about Splatoon. How's the music listening experience in general? I would say it's pretty good. Having Wii music in the background as I talk to friends on Discord or do other things is really, really relaxing, and the extension feature is a brilliant idea. However, there's no way to just automatically play extended versions of songs. You have to manually extend the songs, and I think that's kind of annoying.

Now, how's the selection? Gonna be real, shit. It's not good. Why does every console except the switch only have 2 ALBUMS?!?!?!? Metroid having both its versions doesnt count as 3 albums, its the same fucking game. WHERE ARE THE 3DS AND WII U?!?!?

Every console should have had 5 to 8 MINIMUM!!!! I don't care, Nintendo has a library that spans in the thousands for fuck sake, this is unacceptable at launch. But hey, it's Nintendo, that's what they do. NSO started off being god awful but now it's a solid deal for 20 bucks a year. Way more tolerable than what the HELL PS Plus costs.

My biggest concern with this service is when they are gonna drop new albums. Nintendo, for the love of fucking god, do NOT DROP 1 TO 3 ALBUMS PER MONTH!!!! DO NOT DO THAT!!!! This service WILL die if you do that. People will get restless and move on. I do not want a repeat of NSO retro games AGAIN!!!! Just drop a batch every week or two, maybe 3 to 6 albums per 2 weeks or something like that. Don't drop at a minimum 2 per month or two months. DONT! AND MAKE SURE TO HAVE EVERY SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!!

But it's probably not gonna happen.... I know deep down Nintendo is gonna do the classic drip feeding strategy because it just works for them unfortunately... man...

I do like the app but it has ISSUES!!!!! BIG BIG ISSUES AND WORRIES!!!!

(Oh yeah and by the way... CREDIT THE GOD DAMN COMPOSERS NINTENDO!!!!!!)

[cdroloisms]

read your post about how the atmosphere in dreblr feels a little tense nowadays. honestly when i first joined this fandom i was excited to share takes/meta but i dont do it much anymore cause of how intense ppl get when they disagree… wasnt prepared for that level of intensity

i have to say that my experience with this fandom and your experience with this fandom are ... probably pretty different 😅 (not that i know for sure, of course, so sorry abt any inherent assumptions to when you joined the fandom, i've just been here for damn near forever) and that that'll color my perspective on this, so. fair warning in advance.

to be honest, disagreement in dreblr is not a new thing. when dreblr was created there were two main "camps" of c!dream apologism that disagreed on pretty much everything to do with c!dream after novermber 16th and would write essays debunking each other's takes pretty goddamn often. here's an old post by red responding to a lot of opinions on both sides of the line which i think illustrates this well -- note the difference established between "c!dream apologists" and "c!dream enthusiasts," perhaps better known now as the "trauma interpretation" and "strategist interpretation" of c!dream back before the confirmation of staged finale during the prison break, which shows how different people's opinions of c!dream ranged at dreblr's very conception. and this disagreement ran pretty damn deep, too, lmao--some of it was reserved to debating each other in semiprivate discord servers, but plenty of it was made of vagueing each other's takes or directly debating them on each other's blogs.

i think that a source of friction, to be honest, is that dreblr started as a much more analysis- and meta-focused community than it is now. the entire dsmp fandom was very analysis-heavy in 2021-2022, and dreblr definitely reflected that culture; since the dsmp ended, the amount of active discussion about it in a meta sense has also waned, and as such dreblr and many other areas of dsmp fandom have been more focused on other kinds of fanwork. this isn't a bad thing, of course! but it has led to a shift in etiquette, and while i think meta etiquette and fanwork etiquette are very. very different things, obviously the amount of fanwork and the amount of meta that's around in dreblr spaces influences how people interact with all parts of dreblr etc etc that's just how people and communities work

but back to my point. disagreement has always been a part of this fandom, especially in meta spaces (which used to be pretty much all of dreblr, but has kind of become more of a small part of it in more recent times) and intensity with those disagreements also is kind of ... on par for the course? i mean, personally, i think disagreements ran more intense in dreblr in 2021 on average--it's not like dreblr has been as sharply divided with different "versions" of c!dream apologism since--and when it comes to the general fandom, well, any look at the inbox of anyone posting c!dream positive analysis and the formation of dreblr as a whole speak for themselves. also IFUADA and the whole attempt to like, lmanburg us out of our own house. which was hilarious btw that shit was awesome

like, at the end of the day, meta is made to be a place where people are gonna disagree. and a lot of people in meta spaces find it fun to disagree, even; there are more than a few people who will devil's advocate an argument they don't even agree with just for the sake of disagreement and debate. fandom analysis is just ... like, fandom academia lite, and it's also far less beholden to the rules of professionalism in real academia (not that real academia is free of conflict, obviously. including extremely petty conflict, as anyone who has read enough passive-aggressive as shit academic papers will tell you). this isn't to say that things don't go too far, because again, the history of this fandom proves it LOL. but while we all want people to feel comfortable in meta spaces, we also want meta spaces to be a place for people to be passionate about their opinions and to disagree about them fervently and to debate to their heart's content, bc that's kind of the point of fandom meta, yk?

in my post, i mentioned that i think more open disagreement will be good for dreblr, and i do stand by this point; i think that there's no real point in trying to stamp out disagreement in a space meant to be a free place for people to disagree and express their disagreements, not that that's what you're saying or anything just as a general thought. i also think that more disagreement will help with there feeling like there's less of a "correct" way to think about c!dream and the server, which i think raises the barrier of entry for people who want to post meta but don't want to be eviscerated bc they said something "wrong." of course, i can't force anyone to post meta nor do i want to--hell, i want to post more meta but am limited in time, and i know we all live busy lives 😭 (which is part of why this ask is being answered so late, sorry!) -- my point is i dont think, idk, one person being passionate abt a take or disagreement or whatever is necessarily the problem as far as upping the tension in dreblr as much as like. there's a lot of general discomfort and a lack of willingness to rock the boat in a place which should be a safe waters for everyone to take shots at any ship (er, ship to follow up with the rock-the-boat metaphor, but the secondary meaning does apply here as well) they want. we're shooting with water guns, not real bullets, and there's no fun in a splash fight if everyone's too scared of getting someone else wet, i guess.

that being said, anon, i understand that not everyone wants to participate in the free-for-all take pvp that is inherent to meta spaces...to which i say that, honestly, there's no requirement to participate in analysis spaces specifically to just, share your thoughts on the server. i think that in general, if anyone posts their thoughts on the dsmp and adds a disclaimer to the top like "not really analysis, just miscellaneous thoughts that i would prefer not to be vagued/argued against," i really just don't think that most people are gonna go out of their way to argue with that? you have every right to just yap while opting out of the possibility of being vagued or debated with, but you might have to make it clear beforehand bc vagueposting and debating is just the culture that exists in meta/analysis spaces, especially dsmp meta/analysis spaces that have been a part of dreblr since dreblr was made. and if there's anything else that can be done to make everyone feel more comfortable, i think that's worth discussing!

[ms-demeanor]

hello! sorry to bother w this but im sort of desperate at this point. given your post about school abuse: so like. i had a similar experience and i thought that i had sorted my brain out. BUT. big but. now im trans and every time i have to correct people w/ misgender or come out to people that i dont already know their opinion on the issue, i get an anxiety attack that makes me unable to do it. ive told many therapists and no one so far has understood why im terrified of making stuff that other people can perceive as me being difficult to work with. would you have *any* advice? thanks!

Okay so first of all it is totally valid to feel that way; that isn't an irrational response, that is your body and brain going "!!!! I have learned this lesson before!" But just because it's a sensible response doesn't mean it's functional in the long term, which is why it needs to be addressed (which I'm sure you already know, I'm just explaining for people in the back).

So now here is some meandering advice:

Spend time with people you already know you can trust. It's okay to take a break from new people and situations (as much as is possible) when you are processing traumatic events and learning to care for yourself. Spending time with people who you don't have to come out to, who don't misgender you, can help you normalize being out and correctly gendered to yourself.

Recognize that you don't have to be out to everyone and some assholes aren't worth it. This is going to depend some on the context, but you don't owe everybody an explanation for yourself and if people repeatedly misgender you after being corrected you may just be better off not spending time around those people.

Loop in trusted people in low-stakes ways. If you get the sense that someone who you think is pretty safe has misgendered you on accident, it might still feel too intimidating to correct them in person but it might be a good idea to follow up with text or a call or a message to say "hey, just FYI, I think I heard you use a/b pronouns for me earlier, I just wanted to let you know that I use c/d pronouns. Did you want to meet up again next week?" the breakdown on why I think this is effective is - Distance means you're safe - nonthreatening "FYI" means you aren't saying "I'm offended" and assumes good faith from the other person - feels less accusatory (not that you need to tone police yourself, but if you're trying to lower the stress level overall then assuming it was a mistake and letting them know you don't think it was on purpose should reduce the overall tension) - request to meet up again or topic switch to something lighter once again says "I'm not mad, that was just regular information, we can now return to our scheduled programming"

I think that, generally speaking, this is also a decent way to come out to people if you're nervous; physically remote and emotionally casual can be a good place to work from (even if you're actually panicking in your head but you can pull off casual in a written message)

Find (or create) a space where people are 100% going to support you. If you need to create a discord server, if you need to schedule a regular coffee date with trusted friends or family members, whatever it is, give yourself a space where you are unconditionally supported and can have people to bounce ideas and concerns off of. Even if it's just you and one other person, it's good to know you have *someone* who you can say "I think I want to tell this other person to use my pronouns but it's scary" to and know that you're not at risk in any way. I'd say try to make sure that you're still interacting with people outside of that space, but have a space to retreat to where you can just drop the worry.

Recognize that somebody else's problem is not a reflection of you. If you have, for instance, a coworker who is being a piece of shit and refusing to recognize your gender, that is not a reflection of your gender that is a reflection of them being a piece of shit. If there is a classmate or a sibling who uses the wrong pronouns after being corrected that doesn't mean you're not entitled to your pronouns that means they are being a piece of shit. Some people are just not going to accept you and that's on them. Try to minimize your time spent with them and if you have to spend time with them at work take steps to ensure your safety, but don't fight losing battles with assholes.

It really is legitimately scary. You have good reasons to be scared and you are doing a very frightening thing (and not to do the meme thing but you are legitimately being so brave about it; the fact that you are reaching out and asking anyone for help, including randos on the internet, means that you are taking steps to doing the scary thing and that is SO GOOD and I'm really proud of you for making the effort in spite of the fear).

Here is some less meandering advice:

Practice. Talk to yourself in the mirror, practice with friends, practice with your therapist. Practice coming out to yourself in a casual way. Practice correcting your pronouns. Practice an introduction for yourself that explains the information you want to give to new people you might meet. Get it down to a quick little patter, get it to be something that's easy to say to yourself in the mirror first, then try it with friends for practice, then try it around the safer people you might want to give the information to. It'll get easier as you go.

Look for a local support group (or an online support group). If there's a local LGBTQ+ center you should see if they've got events going on or a support group you can join or workshops or any manner of social thing where you can go interact with people who have been through similar stuff.

Journal. Each time you find yourself frightened of talking to someone about your gender, do what you need to to get through the day and then sit down and think about that interaction. Write down what happened, write down what you were thinking. Was there something in particular that made you anxious? Is it something you can practice addressing? Was there something you noticed about the person that made you uncomfortable? Is that a common thread in the times you have trouble talking about this? If you're able to narrow down specifically what is making it hard to speak to some people that might make it easier to explain to therapists but will also make it more actionable for you.

Here's some very optimistic advice:

If at all possible find a friend who will be rabid and unflinching in their support for you and hang out with them around new people. Get yourself an attack dog copilot who will cheerfully step up and make corrections for you. I know not everyone can do this and I know that if you can find someone like this they can't be around all the time, but it can be wonderfully reassuring to find that one person who you know is going to be ride or die about making sure that everyone in the room respects you. (Being that person for someone else can also teach you how to be that person for you)

[cranberrymoons]

do something about it

prompt: accidental confession (discord drabble) word count: 956 rated: m tags: STOMMY 😇🗣️ no upside down au, pining, drunken confession, making out

---

Tommy sighs as he slumps back against the headboard. 

The party’s still going on outside of his room, lights and thumping music, and there’s someone in the kitchen with a lampshade on their head or something probably, and there’s someone’s empty beer can on his nightstand but he’s too gone to really care. He kind of just wants to curl up and sleep, but –

The door bangs open, and he jerks in surprise, but then relaxes. 

It’s just Steve. 

Steve with his perfect smile and his perfect face and his perfect soft hair, even after he disappeared upstairs earlier with some sorority girl – of course it fucking is, it’s always perfect – and his eyes are big and sleepy and slow-blinking as he flops down on his back at the end of Tommy’s bed. Endless tanned skin and long-fingered hands and that smile when he turns his head and catches Tommy’s eye.

And just – he’s so pretty. 

He’s always been so, so pretty, and Tommy has never wanted to kiss him more than he does right now. Which is saying something, because he basically always wants to kiss Steve. Has always wanted to kiss Steve, even back before he knew that was an option. Not that he actually knows it’s an option now, kissing Steve specifically, but kissing in general is –

Whatever. 

Point is, he’s probably a little bit in love with him or something. Or maybe even a lot. How embarrassing. Carol used to even make fun of him for it, this big stupid crush on Steve. She was joking, probably, but she was also right.

He watches Steve’s face shift, his mouth opening into a little oh and his eyes going slightly wide. He pulls himself up to sit, folding a leg under himself as he turns to face Tommy.

“You what?” 

Tommy frowns. Blinks once, then again. “What?”

Steve clears his throat. “You said…”

His cheeks are pink and beautiful, and so is his mouth as he speaks, but –

Tommy feels a cold wave of panic wash through him. The plastic cup slips in his hand as he grips it tighter, and he sets it down on the nightstand, sitting up straighter. 

At what point did the thinking turn into talking, and how much did he say, and how absolutely fucked is he?

“Dude.” He gives a weak laugh. “You know I’m always talking shit.”

A line appears between Steve’s eyebrows, but he’s smiling a little and still so pink, and Tommy thinks that probably means he’s not about to get his ass kicked. 

“So you don’t think I’m pretty?”

Tommy blinks. “Obviously you are,” he says, because apparently his dick to brain to mouth filter is broken. “Obviously.”

Steve raises his eyebrows. “So do something about it.”

Tommy swallows reflexively. “What?”

“You said you wanted to kiss me,” Steve says, and that’s when Tommy notices the hand pressing into the top of his thigh, realizes Steve has uncurled himself and risen up onto his knees and is leaning forward into his space. “Do something about it.”

Tommy glances to either side, like he’s looking for someone else that Steve could be talking to, but there’s no one – just them and the relative darkness of the room and the receding noise of the party still going on downstairs.

“It’s not just a drunk thing,” Tommy says. His voice comes out quiet, now that Steve is so close. “For me.”

Steve takes a breath and nods. “Okay.”

He’s staring at Tommy’s mouth as he says it, and Tommy wonders if his lips are pink like Steve’s. His tongue darts out to lick them, and Steve sways closer. 

“I don’t want to do it if we’re just going to pretend it never happened,” he says.

Steve nods, glancing back up to meet Tommy’s eye. Again, “Okay.”

His fingers dig into the muscle of Tommy’s thigh, just a few points of pressure, and that’s the thing – that’s what tips him over the edge. His hand comes up to grab onto Steve, half in his hair and half on his cheek, angling his face up as he pushes forward to meet him, sparks shooting off behind his eyes, because finally.

It’s not very good at first as kisses go – their teeth click together, and Steve’s tongue tastes a little like cheap beer as it pushes into his mouth, but then the angle changes and –

“Fuck,” Tommy says. Steve plants a knee on either side of his hips and settles down in his lap, hands threading back through his hair to drag him into another kiss. “Fuck.”

It’s somehow exactly how he’s always pictured it and also so much better, because he never could have pictured this – Steve real and warm and heavy on top of him, hard against him where they’re pressed together, the breathy little gasp he lets out when Tommy’s hand slides down his back to span out over his waist.

He’s never going to be able to go back to picturing it after this.

Steve’s hand grapples back to find his, threads their fingers together and pulls him away, and Tommy’s heart lurches in his chest, bracing for him to draw back, change his mind, decide this is too much – but Steve just draws his hand further around until Tommy has a handful of his ass through the tight denim of his jeans.

Steve grinds down against him, and Tommy’s head falls back with a thud, groaning as he stares up at the ceiling. Steve’s mouth attaches itself to his neck and works down toward his collar, and he feels like his whole brain is spinning with how much he wants.

And finally, after years and years and years of this, he lets himself take.

[also on ao3]

[caszzine]

I’M EVERYWHERE, I’M SO JULIA!

a/n: okay so!! writing this bc of brat challenge on lottie’s discord server😛😛 it was pretty fun to write this this, sorry if it sucks🔥

warnings: modern!au; reader is afab; reader and ellie are in a illegal rave, not much is happening there; reader and ellie ALMOST make out; mention of exams, drugs, alcohol and police; no use of y/n; not proofread (i’m too lazy for this); also english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes - lmk if i forgot something🫦

‘360’ by charli xcx was blasting into the speakers, the green improvised led lights mixed with the weed smoke in the air just woke the brat in you. that old and abandoned warehouse was frequently used to do some illegal shit, specially illegal raves. and that’s what was happening right now.

moving your hips along to the song, shaking your ass in the dance floor as people hyped you up, it all just made you feel so… slutty. and you loved it.

everyone in the dance floor was dancing and vibing and smoking and (maybe?) on drugs and oh it was a whole chaos. i mean, after those finals almost fucked everyone’s grade up, y’all just needed to have some fun, right?

suddenly, you had the urge to pee. so you warned your friends about your future whereabouts and ran to the improvised bathroom in there. you rolled your eyes as you really had to see ellie fucking williams smoking a blunt while sitting on the ‘toilet’.

“dude, are you fucking serious? get out, i need to pee!” you exclaimed, whining as your bladder begged for relief.

“nah, i’m good.” ellie was obviously high, staring at the ceiling like she was eyefucking it or something.

“dude, scram! if i piss myself, i swear to god i WILL haunt you.”

“go piss outside, in the woods. plants need to be watered, you know?” what the fuck?! “and also, i’m kinda busy here if you didn’t notice…”

“uhm, the ‘bathroom’ is not a place to smoke a blunt, ellie! get the fuck out! and by the way, ew, i’m not pissing outside on the woods.”

you pissed outside on the woods. ellie absolutely REFUSED to leave the bathroom to let you pee, and your bladder was actually going to detonate in five minutes, so you had to take the hard way out. a benefit from it, you ask? your bladder isn’t full anymore!

“whoa. you really pissed on the woods?” dina, a mutual friend of you and miss-doesn’t-let-you-pee-in-the-bathroom-because-she’s-smoking-in-there, exclaimed. she seemed surprised. “that’s not very demure of you…”

“girl, what’s with that word? what in the actual fuck is ‘demure’?” jesse - who was just as high as miss-bathroom-smoker - asked in confusion.

“uhhh, i actually don’t know. i just saw people using it on tiktok and i started using it too.” dina and jesse got immersed in a pretty boring conversation, so you just left and went to the improvised bar.

“sup, abby?” you greeted the hot bartender, smiling as she winked at you. “can you gimme a lemonade, please? don’t feel like drinking any alcohol anymore…”

“i’ll think about it.”

“think about what?” suddenly, ellie appeared behind you, still smoking that stupid fucking blunt-

“none of your business, williams!” abby mumbled in a playful manner while grabbing your lemonade and giving it to you.

but of course, ellie grabbed it before you could even process that the lemonade was there and took a sip. more like five sips! that bitch…

“ellie, are you fucking for real right now?!” you gave her a death stare as she laughed on your face.

“what? i needed to check if it was good…”

“williams, if you want a lemonade, i can make it for you, you know? you don’t need to steal it from the poor girl!” abby mocked again while making a drink for herself.

“nah, i like annoying her.”

“fuck you, ellie.”

“with pleasure!” ellie winked. ugh, she was reeeeally high…

a few minutes later, you and your friends (ellie included) were back on the dance floor. now, another charli xcx was blasting through the speakers, and you were genuinely having the time of your life.

as you were dancing your ass off, you felt two hands rest on your waist. you turned around, ready to slap the shit out of the person who dared to put their hands on you, but you immediately relaxed after you saw miss-bathroom-smoker looking at you with a grin.

“for fuck’s sake, ellie, you scared me! i thought it was a fucking creep or something.” you screamed in her ear, as the song was way too loud for you to talk in a normal tone.

“what did you say?”

“i thought you were a creep!”

“you think i’m a creep?!”

“no!” you denied with your hands, watching ellie relax as soon as you did so. “i said that i thought that you were a random creep when you grabbed my waist, i got scared!”

“oh, so you did think i was a creep!” ellie mocked you, raising her eyebrow.

“no! not like that- ugh, forget it!” you rolled your eyes and turned your back to ellie, continuing your dance.

ellie’s hands never left your waist, sometimes guiding your movements. the room was starting to get hot, and so were you.

your bodies were sweaty, grinding against each other, and you swore that ellie was dry humping on you for like a millisecond.

you turned to face ellie again, putting your arms around her neck as you danced to the beat.

someone pushed you even more against her, and your lips were now five centimeters away from touching.

you smirked, turning back again to grind against her. but as soon as she leaned to kiss your neck, the music stopped and you saw people running and screaming for other people to run too.

then, you heard police sirens. for fuck’s sake, what a bunch of cockblockers!

a/n: YIKESS this sucks💔

[fiercynn]

some of the shit thats being demanded of an archive run by volunteers is more than a little ridiculous. Putting the onus on, amongst other things, not having a timeline for when emails will be responded to- and not seeing that a quintupling of their usual attendance in a discord meeting would cause things to get a little crazy- does little more than reduce the feeling of seriousness for the rest of your cause. Cmon now

i mean, i do hear you on things like responding to emails. what was frustrating in that board meeting was that they didn't have a good process for taking questions and made it incredibly confusing to know how to do it, and then, when people would ask for a better process/clarification, board members would simply say, "then use our contact us form!" despite people knowing that they don't have time and energy to respond to those promptly - or, possibly, to even read them. so it felt like they were trying to just push us off either way.

i disagree with you on preparation for the meeting, though. there was just no way they couldn't have expected a much bigger meeting than usual, because the issues that have come up in the past couple months have covered such a range of issues - from racism to AI stuff to mistreatment of volunteers - that there was bound to be interest. the board had been receiving tons of messages via that contact us form. their own volunteers warned them that it would be a big meeting. @end-otw-racism was publicly encouraging people to attend and even shared what kinds of questions people could ask about racism! there was no reason not to be better prepared.

i also want to emphasize that there otw does not have to be a scrappy, incompetent organization. they have over a thousand volunteers and more than a $2.5 million budget surplus. meaning that money is not needed for their next six months of operating expenses, nor has it been dedicated to anything else (at least publicly). they have so little idea what to do with that money that in 2022 they only earned ~$90 in interest income, meaning that money has not even been invested prudently. it's ludicrous. and it's not unreasonable to expect that an organization use its resources properly. i know tons of nonprofits that would be thrilled to have $2.5 million (which is five years of otw's operating expenses - an absurd amount to have in reserve!) that are far smaller and scrappier.

back to this meeting - there were lots of very simple things they could have done differently. they could have appointed other otw volunteers to moderate the channels so that the board members could focus on actually answering questions. they could have frozen messages in the main channel earlier when it was already looking chaotic (they did not do so until halfway through the meeting), but simultaneously had a separate channel for questions so that those were not lost. they could have made a policy of only one question per attendee so that some folks were not hogging the conversation. all of these things could have been done in the moment when they realized how much of a shitshow the meeting was becoming.

when an organization that people are supporting and donating to cannot adequately respond to constructive questions and feedback, that is pretty unacceptable. and so many of us are coming in with a lot of distrust because otw has failed and delayed on so many of their commitments to fans of color in the past. i'm not inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt - they have to earn people's trust back. this meeting was not a step in that direction.

[neverpathia]

I'm just assigning weapons to the voices and vessels because I am a fantasy nerd like that. [WARNING: LONG ASS POST]

(alternative title: watch nevvey lose his mind over random blades and not-blades, and lie about being esoteric for who-knows-how-long minutes straight. gets exponentially both longer and worse the more you read.)

(@/phospolipid-bilayer influenced too many of these things by accident thanks to their lobotomy corporation series thing going on)

(this is also mainly for my AU, I guess)

-- -- -- -- --

Hero - basic ass yee yee sword

Hunted - a kinda primitive cross between a mace and a spear? but it's really more like claws and teeth grafted to a sharpened stick. lord of the flies core and all.

okay i can also see him using a crossbow and bolts, or perhaps tribal darts. i don't really think he'd want to approach a potential threat up close. he'd prefer to shoot from beneath the concealments of foliage instead. singular fangs attached to splintered branches, whittled to straight implements of death, of defense. i kinda like this one more to be honest.

Beast/Den - no shit sherlock she already has pre-ordered weapons. claws. fangs. hack and slash and gore and tear.

Opportunist - switchblade. one that's small and easily concealed up his sleeve. the hilt is gilded with gold and embedded with emeralds because he's flashy like that. the thing's probably also soaked with some sort of venom for added inconvenience, though the blade is probably too small and thin by itself to actually be majorly dangerous.

(someone on discord suggested that he'd use a stiletto or cinquadea hidden up his boot instead and that's a pretty valid take, fuck that's cool as shit you brilliant brilliant fella, but i'm still kinda attached to my own take lol.)

Witch/Thorn - I mean she does canonically use her claws but I feel like I wanna lean more into the magic-user aspect of her. probably a sort of wand, that's also small and easily concealed up her sleeve like oppy's knife. greatest affinity with trees and roots and grass and the like. also easily smacked in someone's face and shoved down their throat or nose if needed. probably bladed at one end too, even if it does cut her a little when she's hiding it.

side note: she's definitely going to be amazing with poisons. would be able to pinpoint every single one of them, and she knows more specimens and symptoms than even the resident para(noid)medic. why? no reason. she's just a witch.

Wild - do I even need to. nerve root strangulation???

Skeptic - I mean he's a detective, so honestly?

OH. okay. good cop, I see you. cold harsh logic in the absence of the supernatural, I see you. LET HIM HAVE GUNS. specifically, revolvers, because I wanna stay loyal to the high fantasy aesthetics we have going on. he dual wields (something about covering every eventuality, blah blah).

(sigh now i'm getting an idea for a scene with stubborn, cheated, contrarian and broken playing russian roulette with skeptic's revolvers while the peepaw detective remains oblivious and wonders where the shit his guns went.)

Prisoner/Cage - GARROTE. GARROTE WIRE. YEAHHHHH BABY, ASPHYXIATION FOR THE WIN. like. she'd be a natural with the thing, she already strangles you with chains anyway. perhaps the thing is made of thin yet heavy chain-links with hooks at the ends, kinda like the chains in cage? a bit like a surujin, perhaps? maybe spiked? at this point i'm letting rule of cool drive all this.

although to be honest i'm also slightly enjoying the image of her using clinical instruments like a scalpel. she can share that with paranoid as a side thing, i guess.

or i can also see her using a weighted flail, because prisoner. god too many options

Drowned Grey - dunks you with water balloons and a super soaker. nah I'm just kidding, but I can see her using a sort of harpoon, perhaps?

at this point my brain is veering into Off Topic Land and proposing the headcanon that prisoner goes fishing. great. no thanks.

Smitten - for all his knight in shining armour rambling and shambling and garbling and warbling, fine. sword and shield. specifically, a grand broadsword and shield, both carved with very elaborate depictions of flowers and maidens and chivalry and the like. don't ask me how he's carrying both at the same time, each with one hand. he's probably freakishly strong, he's smitten after all.

Damsel/HEA - as damsel she's probably going to rely on smitten to protect her, but i like to think she picks something up after HEA. perhaps she gets a little rapier hidden up her skirts. plain and undecorated, unlike her opulent garments. sharp despite its small size. honestly i don't even think it'd be practical to get it out of there but i might also decide to redesign post-ending HEA for the sake of this thing. i do plan on redesigning the vessels anyway.

(also it took me this long to realise that technically she does have a weapon, and not a weapon, the weapon, the dinky little knife itself resting beneath her neck- nah. fuck it.)

I also love the idea of damsel with one of those crude little fairy godmother cartoon wands that's pretty much just a rod with a star on top. the one that's in all those transparent pngs and kindergarten textbooks. would be funny. wonder if she'd know how to actually cast with it, though? well, if it makes you happy.

Burned Grey - look, i absolutely adore the image of her just throwing around a flamethrower like there's no tomorrow. but i'm staying loyal to the high fantasy aesthetic so we sure as fuck can't have that. allow me to propose... yeah actually? i have no fucking idea. i'm going to google.

and one train of research and distractions later, i have been led to the handgonne which is pretty much a medieval flamethrower-esque kinda thingy. seems a little impractical. but hey, what with burning down both LQ and herself, which is sure to cause a LOT of inconvenience, the burned grey is all about impractical.

Stubborn - fists. do i even need to explain

Adversary - fists. do i even need to explain

okay but we do know that advy sort of has claws, but we don't really see her use them, though. and i like to think that stubborn attaches blades to his knuckles for maximum impact.

but in all fairness, when they don't use their fists, i like to think that they have matching sledgehammers. big and messy and violent. heavy. bloody. they love it.

Eye of the Needle - this is another one has who pre-ordered weapons free with her hands. claws. I'm not gonna bother. she probably retains the sledgehammer from advy though. or perhaps a gigantic battleaxe? don't know. probably has an entire arsenal because of how dang bloodthirsty she is.

Broken - would smack you upside the head with a bible while wailing and weeping. not funny, nevvey.

okay, he's probably the least combat-oriented of all the voices and I kinda see him as a sort of cleric? he's likely gonna be another magic-user like witch/thorn and paranoid. I can sorta see him wielding a staff like DnD-

WAIT. ALTAR KNIFE. ALTAR KNIFE. A FUCKING ATHAME. the thing's not even intended for genuine cutting, it's just there for ritual and channeling purposes. broken, I'm looking at you. PERFECT. and it's probably set in ivory and cracking porcelain and there's a bit of gold thread wrapping around it oh fuck yeah

Tower/Apotheosis - she would tell you that she doesn't need one, because her compelling voice is already enough. however, she is a girlfailure and you should never take her word for it.

I can low-key see her using a sort of scepter. something simple yet elegant carved from ceramic, radiating divine energy. yeah that's it. I don't really know. and she wouldn't stoop so low as to use a close-range bladed weapon, or anything that really uses a lot of physical effort at all. apothy's gonna need a HUGE one though

Fury - she can literally reduce you to subatomic particles. what need does she even have for a weapon? although I am SERIOUSLY digging the idea of her using a brutal bloody terrifying spiked club. way too large and way too many spines, perhaps ivory or bone. a bit of grisly membrane coating the material; a few fleshy tendrils travelling down its length. yeah. glances warily at body horror demon lady. would.

actually i can also see her using a meat cleaver because that would be kinda cute

Paranoid - FUCK YEAH I WAS WAITING FOR THIS ONE. staff. he wields a mage's quarterstaff. no question.

he definitely uses it for a ton of healing. the 'heart lungs liver nerves' mantra as a sorcerous incantation, fuck yeah. but paranoid is also really powerful and can probably use the same staff for minor transformative or conjuring spells.

now this one's probably been engraved all over with protective runes and symbols, to the point that you can barely even tell where one stroke ends and another begins. otherwise it's quite plain, but there's an orb at the top for better channelling. sometimes he uses it in conjunction with a grimoire.

it's also really handy for whacking annoyances upside the head as required.

side note: he uses a scalpel too. but he hates close-range, if he even needs to fight at all. he prefers to let hero or cold handle it while he plays support.

Nightmare/MOC - organ failure. why would i even need to elaborate.

well apparently i felt like elaborating anyway so i think she'd use...god, actually, this one is pretty hard.

OH, HOLD ON. Nightmare with oversized scissors/shears like a horror movie doll, all guro-lolita core. huh. that might be interesting. bonus points if the scissors are comically sharp. the handles are bone porcelain, smooth yet chipped, and painted with black-and-white patterns like her mask (so that I don't stray too far from the fantasy motif, because if i do, that would just completely break the rule of cool.)

Cold - well. phospo's (absolutely amazing beautiful splendid divine) cold wields a scythe and i am very extremely tempted to steal that concept from them. however, that would be plagiarism. and i am trying to avert plagiarism.

my original idea was always for cold to have a series of throwing knives and daggers like an assassin. i kinda see cold as someone who operates on stealth, shrouding himself in the shadows just as he shrouds his emotions. so he's just. throwing these things at you from out of fucking nowhere with deadly intent and precision. and he has excellent aim.

then again, this is probably really unoriginal but fuck cares

Spectre/PatD - does. a ghost. even need. a weapon?? how would a ghost even wield a weapon????

i'm gonna steal the flail from pris because she already has her nice little garotte and give it to spectre because it seems fitting enough. plus, i'm running out of ideas. sorry spectre.

although i like to think that patd gets a few avian features like talons and feathers in her hair, thanks to the switcheroo. so she can use those talons too, i suppose.

Wraith - OH. NOW THIS ONE. SPOOKY LITTLE SCYTHE, LIKE THE GRIM REAPER. no question. no question at all.

Cheated - so i apologise in advance because i am DEFINITELY committing plagiarism here. phospo, if you don't like me using your cheated-with-a-bayonet idea then i utter my sincerest regrets but. cheated. would use a bayonet.

i won't even talk about the fact that it's cool. but he'd also get it for the sake of maximizing his chances and for its versatility and, well, the fact that it is cool...and razor would still skewer him. not to mention it's not easy to use. so he'd probably attempt, and fumble, and attempt again, and just rage quit and smash the damn thing everywhere in combat like a berserker.

and it's probably just as fucked up and rusted and tattered as he is, but he still keeps it close, out of spite more than anything.

Razor - what are you talking about, she definitely isn't going to need a weapon, it's not like she's going to stab anyone anyway, it's definitely not like she's the weapon

discord said she'd use one of those disappearing trick knives. funny. nah, i think i'm giving that to...

Contrarian - you get the disappearing trick knife. and a nice rubber mallet. and a goose.

okay jokes aside i think he'd probably dual-wield as well, with weapons that have been specifically designed to be a pain in the ass for opponents.

personally i would give him a scimitar or khopesh because 1. i am OUT of ideas and 2. he's gonna have a lot of fun deflecting with the curved blades and using them to hook the opponents' weapons, then disarm them, then throw their blades out the window. then again, giving him a blade's a pretty bad idea. he'd throw it out the window himself-

wait. it's more like him to use a weapon that's not even designed to be a weapon. but that could be literally anything.

okay nevermind, contrarian is too hard to decide for. hell, he's a literal contrarian. fuck it, i won't be giving him a fixed weapon. he'd probably swap them out every two seconds and throw them out the window when he's done.

Stranger - oh shit. all five of her identities gotta have different weapons. this is the part where i'm getting lazy so i'll just steal from minecraft and go:

nondescript - bow

gentle - pickaxe

harsh - sword

evil - axe

depressed - spade

there we go. i suppose you can say she's multi-armed.

-- -- -- -- --

man this took way longer than i thought it would. what the fuck induced me to do this for like every single voice and vessel-? oh well it was worth it, especially now that i've given myself even more drawing and writing ideas especially for adventuring and fight scenes. yay.

[blackfliesinbluesugar]

I really don't understand why the show is paced like this, I just don't? Even if they were told at production they would ONLY have 8 episodes, low chance of a s2, that this was all they'd get - I dunno, how is sucking all of the fun and investment out of your plot the best solution outside of, like, writing what you reasonably can and then maybe trying for a comic book or something? Again, I know that's shit feeling, I know it'd suck, I know it'd hurt. But again, even if this is the only medium you WANT to tell your story in, how is telling it BADLY the answer? It's crashing 50k words of fic into a list of bulletpoints.

I don't care about any of these characters. Not because I'm some spurned anti or someone who went in ready to hate - I've fandomed this show since June 2019. I've been obsessed with these characters and world. I have written nearly half a million words of fanfiction for these guys, including all of the background characters they keep giving love like Molly and Mimzy and Rosie. But that's all fanon, and I know how to seperate that in my brain. Which means I love the idea of these characters - I'm thrilled to see even the little cameos, It feels like fanservice in a way that makes me buzz with energy - but I don't love the characters. In canon, I don't care about Alastor, or Husk, or Charlie. I actively feel disinterest in ones like Camille and Vaggie and Adam. They have no depth, only gesturing at interesting ideas and trauma. Angel, I'm STARTING to care about, but they only gave him a real personality AFTER dropping all of his trauma on us. So great. It's discord group chats all over again.

Just.. why. Is doing 3 seasons worth in 1 season really worth it? Is it, frankly, better than nothing at all? I cared more about these guys when I had the privelege of assuming they'd have deep developed arcs and connections, that the hotel denizens would get a chance to bond and interact and flesh themselves out. Now they're pretty png's standing vaguely near each other, occasionally breaking into song or crying about their past. Big whoop.

I wish s1 had developed the hotel solely - no Velvette, no Camille, no Zestial, no Mimzy, no Sera or Emily or Lucifer or Lilith, and then saved that stuff for s2 when we CARE about our protagonists and can afford to care about other characters, instead of all of them being 'cool, I guess'

I'm sad. I'm really sad. I waited over 4 years for a slideshow.

[digitulart]

helluva boss redesigns. i made these a year ago so i cant completely remember my thought process on them, what i Do remember is my ideas for them

blitzo: (currently not renamed) grew up in the circus and still looks back on it fondly, hence his clothing. hes been not only declawed, but the light markings on his fur and horns indicate severe injury. hes not aggressive but he is very fidgety and overexcited, and does not think ahead, which always worries his coworkers. hes also very quick to try finding the "positives" in every scenario, and refuses to accept the downsides. the stress of being a tiny little imp trying to make a living through his assassin job is getting to him. he loves his big wolf daughter also. he loves her a lot. shes pretty much all he has

loona: The Wolf Daughter. renamed Ariel, shes a hellhound with albinism and was adopted by an imp, who arent so respected in hell due to their status and size. asides from her insecurities with not fitting in anywhere, and her teen angst behavior, she is successful in finding few friends and forming an indie rock band titled "Discord". yes she plays the bass. ariel cant say shes not grateful for everything her dad gives her and respects his commitment to his job, but she is a little embarrassed by him. she feels bad that shes ashamed of him, honestly

millie: renamed mimi for now. your average country girl imp. she plays a mean banjo. shes the heart of the I.M.P team and tries to keep everyone in good spirits. shes not above doing dirty work to get by, so being an assassin is more or less her true calling. it was better than her job in the mafia anyways. after meeting her husband, she began to realize she has extreme difficulty showing love in ways other than through service acts, as shes usually closed off emotionally. growing up in a big family, she wasnt given enough attention to really understand love. shes very grounded and a quick thinker, especially in tense situations

moxxie: (also not renamed yet) the actual realist of the team, aka nerd, and the strategist/planner/financial advisor/etc. his dad is a mafia boss, so although he left him many years ago, he also learned a lot from him. and also became extremely anxious and a huge perfectionist over executing any plans. but i mean, who wouldnt still be scared shitless over just about everything due to growing up like that, especially over their dad whos still actively looking for them anyways, even though their mom has tried keeping them from him multiple times until she disappeared, and he eloped with another previous member of the mafia, so now Shes in danger too, etc etc

(moxxie best character so he didnt get any severe changes btw)

(do NOT ask me about my opinions on this show or assume i hate it or love it or whatever i dont give a shit. that means you too viv)

[maumausie]

Fem!Bell AU crumbs

Since I am apparently physically incapable of writing full length stories, here's a little scene from my forced fem!Bell AU. (but I am almost done with the first chapter, thanks to @thehornierdog's threats encouragement. this scene is also kinda out of date because ive been editing it lol

TW: forced feminization, allusions to brainwashing, s/a.

thank you to the lovely cold war truthers discord for feeding my brainworms (esp @fleshqounds for the idea about Adler essentially making Bell a do-over of his failed marriage it has not left my brain since).

“I set out some clothes for you,” Adler gestured to the bed, where a yellow dress was folded neatly. 

It seemed at least somewhat modern–no sleeves and with buttons all down the front. There were two pockets sewn to above both sides of the bodice. She couldn’t tell how long it was, but it didn’t seem terribly short. A thick brown leather belt sat atop it, coiled around the perimeter like a snake.

“Oh,” Bell replied after several minutes of silence. She didn’t move.

“What?”

“It’s just,” she shifted uncomfortably, “don’t you have any pants?”

“Why would you want pants? You’re a woman.”

Some muffled part of her psyche raged at the comment, but Bell just took a breath. “Park wears pants,” she pointed out.

Adler’s expression didn’t change. He explained as if he were talking to a child, “Park is a highly trained operative with years of experience.”

“And I’m not?”

Adler frowned, reaching forward with those warm, scarred hands of his to brush some hair out of her face. She wrangled away the illogical urge to flinch. He seemed to see it anyway. “Are you feeling okay?”

“What?”

“It’s just some fabric, you know. And you’ve never fought so hard about your clothes before.” If she didn’t know better, she’d say that Adler almost looked smug as he dangled the carrot of before in front of her face.

Bell squinted, tugging at haggard strands of memory, but they dissipated the moment she tried to focus on one of them.

 it seemed absurd that she’d not put up a fight about having to wear girl-clothes before. But their memory was blank, and Adler looked so genuine.

Her shoulders dropped, and Adler straightened up, smiling. They both knew he’d won.

“Come on then, I wanna see how it fits.”

“Um…”

“What now, Bell?” He looked annoyed in that fond sort of way. Like all of her protesting was nothing more than some childish tantrum. “Is it because the door’s open?”

Bell cleared her throat. “Isn’t it inappropriate for you to just… watch me change?”

“Oh, don’t be like that. We hardly had the privacy to shit in ‘Nam. Ain’t nothing I haven’t seen before.” Adler rolled his eyes, and made a show of turning around to stare at the wall. “There. Is that better, princess?”

“Yes,” Bell said as the stab of guilt choked up her throat.

“Good. Get to it then.”

She complied, and did not point out the mirror on the very wall that he was staring at as she slipped the dirty fatigues off of her hips and let them fall to the floor.

—

“There,” he straightened her collar, hands lingering on Bell’s neck. She suppressed a shiver. “I have pretty good fashion taste, hm?”

This, at least, was more familiar territory. “I don’t know about good. Passable, more like.”

He tutted, “You’re so mean to me. Not very ladylike of you.” 

A b̴̺̖̘̟̠͓̈́ȩ̷̨̹̻̤̻͓͔̱͆̔͛̕l̴͇̲̥̹͎̃͗͌͒͂̄̇͠ḷ̷̨̢̫̠͚̺̊̒͠ echoed in the distance, and a cold sweat began to cling to her hands. Adler dusted off her dress, and casually slipped a box of cigarettes into one of the breast pockets.

“So I have an excuse to talk to you,” he explained as he winked. 

She thought that she felt him squeeze her chest, too, but it was hard to feel properly through the padding, and he was already stepping away before she could call him on it.

“Let’s get you to work then, Sandy.”

“Bell,” she interrupted. “My name is Bell. You know that.”

Adler hummed absently and continued to guide her out into the main part of the safehouse as if she’d never even spoken. She deflated, but didn't bother to pick a fight about it. She'd come to expect it from him, at this point.

[doorp]

What started out as theories abt when the main cast died but got silly

Annabel + Lenore ✨

This one is pretty straightforward, there’s these Barbie movie redraws flynn did that shows Annabel and Lenore being caught by “NMPD nevermore police department” , with the year 1901 in the corner, implying that’s when they died and got sent to nevermore

This little 1901 in the corner is interesting on like a meta level to me bc 1. in the original Barbie meme theres no date on the slate thingies, so flynn decided to add that piece of info on her own, and 2. this was just after episode 67 came out (on fp I think) and uh little tidbit, before that episode there was a theory that Theo died in like the 1860s or something based on the logo in the newspaper abt his death, the ny daily tribune, and after episode 67 came out and ira mentioned a ship that wasn’t available for public use until 1899 on the discord we were trying to do mental gymnastics to make the 2 dates work but then red came on like “please we accidentally grabbed the wrong logo it’s meant to read new York tribune not New York daily tribune its fixed now we fixed it please” and then a few days later they streamed doing this piece

Anyway, ira talks about the oceanic, which was “the finest ocean liner in the world” the *largest ocean liner in the world* until 1901

The RMS oceanic had its maiden voyage in September of 1899, at the beginning of fall. Annabel says she arrived in New York a fortnight before meeting Lenore, presumably during the spring. Annabel arrives at lenores house in april/may of 1900, spends six months there, and then leaves around the fall, probably somewhere around September or October. Lenore then spends a few months doing her thing and then arrives at her family’s home in either December 1900 or January 1901, during the winter. HERES where it gets interesting. We can assume that Annabel died in the cold, from her spectres chilling atmosphere and all together appearance of corpse in a freezer. She even has frostbite on her fingers and toes, as well as snowflake like glitter in her veil. We can also assume she died on her wedding day, the way she wears her rings on different hands and her wedding dress in spectre form. So if she died in the cold and on her wedding day, then when was her wedding, and how could it be in winter?

heres my 2 theories

1. Lenore beats Annabel at chess just for funsies fairly quickly after arriving, then they try to elope and get caught by their dads

2. Lenore courts Annabel, wins her hand, and they get engaged. Since engagements usually lasted around 6 months to 2 years, their engagement could have been anywhere from however long it takes Lenore to win at chess to December 1901. If their wedding day was in November/December, that means Lenore got away with pretending to be a man for a whole YEAR and they spent that year just being gay and shit/doing schemes.

I personally like option 2 more bc its just sadder that they did get away w it for a while then ultimately got caught - it would also explain why Annabel is just SO into Lenore, if all she remembers is that year they spent being all sneaky and gay and shit, it would explain how she’s just used to flirting and holding onto Lenore in secret. It would also explain why Annabel assumes Lenore is up to scheming at nevermore. if they eloped a few weeks after they reunited it would still be like yeah that makes sense they are such u haul lesbians, but them becoming sneaky codependent gays ripped from each other on their wedding day just hurts more and makes more sense time/character wise

Duke - 1912, maybe even 1912 specifically, idk

Duke has a coin that’s dated to 1912, and Eulalie says it looks brand new. There’s been arguments about wether or not the coin is actually newly minted, but I don’t think we can say for sure. It might not matter either way- I have a theory that the suit cases the students carry aren’t actually random personal items of interest, but a suitcase they packed right before a pivotal event in their lives. Perhaps Duke does have newly minted coins in his suitcase, but he didn’t actually die in 1912. Also! Duke is implied to be a Houdini like figure, so I imagine he’s not later than the 20s.

Pluto - 1914 ish

Plutos spectre wears a British ww1 military uniform, its debated wether or not the jacket was his dads or his, but regardless he couldn’t have died earlier than 1914. Pluto is named after the cat in the short story called The Black Cat by Edgar Allan poe. In the story a cat named Pluto gets its eye slashed out by its drunken owner, eventually getting hung from a tree by the man. Theres obvious references to the story in Plutos design and shit overall, when he manifests a belt snaps around his neck implying he died from strangulation, his spectre has like, a pluming collar/leash of smoke around its neck, his spectre looks like it’s made of ash kinda (someone described him as a burnt rabbit to me once) which is probably a reference to the part in the story where the man’s house burns down, only 1 wall remaining erect, with the image of a black cat scorched into it. Plutos eye is covered by his hair, he walks into a door frame, he’s got spectre abilities called “blink” and “evil eye” so w Pluto until we get more info it’s no earlier than 1914 if you subscribe to the Pluto went to war theory or no earlier than like, say the 20s? if you subscribe to the Plutos dad was a vet theory

Berenice - 1920s

Shes a flapper, cmon. shes from the 1920s. Look at her. We already know she was run over by a cop car after running from some guy, and I tried to look into where the cop car was from but i didn’t have much luck. mostly just confirmed the era, when I searched cop cars of the 1920s pretty similar images to the one that killed bee show up. A few others I think have looked into it more? but im not completely sure. There’s been a lot of theories about where Berenice is from, I’ve seen Louisiana, Chicago, Harlem (Harlem renaissance specifically) but there’s not a lot of conclusive info about Berenice. we know her pearls were real, in the way they scattered, so she had so have some means of affording them. Pearls are held together on a string, but only real pearls have pieces of metal between the pearls to keep them from rubbing against each other. Bees pearls scatter in long strings, not completely all over the place like fake pearls without that structure would.

Eulalie - 1935

The song Eula sings in her death flashback is a Japanese lullaby that was rediscovered in 1935. Its a popular theory that Eulalies death was a hate crime, a fire started because of hate towards Japanese Americans during ww2. She probably died in the forties in america, I don’t think she died in Hiroshima or Nagasaki, the fire that killed her isnt how atomic bombs would have killed her. The kid she sings to asks if someone started the fire on purpose, so imo it was likely a hate crime.

Morella - 1950s - 70s??

Okay so, Morella. we know the least about her. with will we can guess that he was lower class and stuff, but all we know abt Morella is that she’s Irish. Shepards pie and Guinness is pretty timeless. The reason I say 50s to 70s is bc according to Remigoesinsane the clasp to her locket started to be used around that time! that’s all I have on her tbh, a theory of mine is that she died in a factory accident trying to save someone when the machinery went crazy, but that’s mostly it.

Ada - 1930s

Ada’s clothes in her death flashback match those worn by maids in the 1930s, and the lingerie she wears in the manor also matches lingerie worn in the 30s. It would also make sense for Ada’s character to be from the 30s. That decade was called the “somber thirties” bc of how fucked up the economy was after the stock market crash. It was a major time of economic disparity, and Ada’s obsession with trying to seem upper class elite could stem from not having much when she died. She probably sees nevermore as a blank slate, a place where people will see her as more than just “the help” would also make sense that the man that killed her was a rich guy using his power to take advantage of her and get away with the crime. Especially since the poem, Tamerlane, was from the pov of a rich guy lamenting a relationship he had with a lower class girl named Ada.

Prospero ✨

PROSPERO! prospero drinks espresso with his chosen last meal, which was invented in 1901. I think he died from tuberculosis. For a long time a major cause of death has been tuberculosis. So much so that Victorians made it a beauty standard. A major inspiration of Poe himself was tuberculosis, in the masque of red death, along with the grief he was left with after his wife died from it. It rots your lungs, makes you cough up your bloodied respiratory system until you suffocate in it. In the maze, prospero says he felt queasy, like something was crawling under his skin when he died. When prospero cuts his hand, he says he’s going to be sick, and tells Annabel that he’s afraid of blood. (Probably specifically his own blood bc u know he was feeding people to rats like minutes before that) This, coupled with the imagery of blood pouring out from his plague mask when he says the “queasy, like something was crawling under my skin” line, makes me think his death involved a lot of blood! And as I said before tuberculosis was like really gross and bloody and gory. Furthermore, this quote from the writer is SO interesting

In the poem prosperos namesake is in, the masque of red death, the prince prospero, hiding and ignoring a sickness ravaging his country, decides to host a huge party! Everyone’s having a grand old time, the festivities only pausing when the clock strikes, leaving everyone in a dread filled silence, the party picking up almost immediately after and brushing it off. Eventually the plague does get in though and kill them all because they ignored the feeling of dread.

The prince and the party goers die because the prince is blissfully and willfully ignorant of the disease. Bc their hubris didn’t allow them to see the threat of it. Nevermores prospero, however, is obsessed with staying healthy/hygienic as possible. He wears his gloves even when he eats, hates being touched, almost throws up when he cuts his hand. He hallucinates a thousand dirty hands grabbing him and trying to perform an operation on him with disgusting germy tools. He sees the hand he cut amputated, imagining that the wound got so infected that it had to be removed. He stares in horror at his hand before Ada even makes eye contact with him. My theory is Prospero grew up hearing terrible stories of people dying from infection, disease. He heard of people slowly drowning in their own blood. He decided to take every precaution, he simply wouldn’t allow that to be his fate. After Ada attacks him he tells Annabel “you must think me neurotic” for being so upset over the blood on his hand. This feels, so specific and intentional to me. Not just because Annabel dealt with her anxiety and her dad treating her panic attacks like he did, and this is a whole “omg look they’re bonding” moment, but bc, immediately after he tries to assure her that “im not, you know, im perfectly sane” like shit like this has happened before, where ppl called him neurotic for being that sick at the sight of his own blood, or that obsessed with hygiene. The irony being that, he spent his life obsessing over staying healthy, so much so that people called him neurotic, only to die that slow gory death anyway.

That whole, prospero dying from tb tangent aside tho, how it correlates to the time of his death. He probably died in the early 1900s, the earliest being 1901-1906ish, bc again, that’s when espresso started gaining popularity. My guess is he died around the 20s, ik the tb vaccine came out around the 20s, but people still died of it after and are still dying/contracting it today, and in the 20s there were a lot of Italians emigrating to America, and prospero is so aggressively Italian American (eating espresso and cannoli with chocolate chips for his last meal) that it’d make sense. So woo!

Monty - 1910s

Monty is a cowwwwboyyyyyy. The Wild West pretty much tapered out around the early 1900s. He can’t be that recent. He also mentions calamity Jane so that definitely puts him past the 1800s. He seemed to have a pretty wild life, kicked in the head by a horse, tooth knocked out by a human, tied to train tracks and left for dead after calling the pastors daughter loose. crazy guy crazy time

Will ???

Will is so plain i cannot get a read on where hes from im sorry

obligatory thank you for making it to the end, I barely made it myself, this was sitting in my drafts for weeks before I decided to just get it over with. <<333