#even better if im like high
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oh my god i need to suck dick NOWWW someone make me dumb and teache me how to do it until im sobbing making a mess
#even better if im like high#or some form of fucked up ness involved#ftm ns/fw#ftm nsft#nsft#trans nsft#ftm puppy#ftm sub#cnc k!nk#intox cnc
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playing around w slightly different hair renders
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#yuuji#megumi#cries megumi fought tooth n nail..... i refused 2 flip the canvas tho >:(#i vastly prefer drawing him facing right bc fr some reason it makes his hair look better silhouette-wise#so having him face left is alr a Challenge#but also having him slightly look down (difficult angle + changes the silhouette) had me bashing my head in2 th TABLE#same thing happened earlier this month w gardening megu middle pose . i did not learn my lesson#but even worse w this one yuuji's head is blocking th main pointy part tht basically carries the entirety of the shape language#u can imagine my distress i am sure#anyway th render made me a lot happier with it thank god. colours hard carry bless <3333#i didn't plan on making it a full sheet but i needed 2 remind myself that im good at drawing megumi#so i threw in solos of each of them n tried slightly different render flavours#idk how Different all of them look visually but th process fr each ws Very different so i am satisfied#fight aside this ws useful i think! got 2 break out some Clunkier chalks n dust off a few of my smoother blended brushes#think i picked up some things i can keep also !! which ws. u kno. the Goal#tbh every time i do art studies i feel like i am kirby#one time i got called an art ditto by one of my fav artist mutuals when i did a style challenge#SUCH high praise from her it lives in my mind i take it out on days when i feel like trash#it doesnt Sound good when u say u r good at copying but real talk it is such a good skill i am very happy 2 have it in my arsenal
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Are we all consciously pretending to forget that Gilear canonically said this to his 13 year old daughter, or did you guys all actually forget about it?
#im posting all my saved up doodles tonight apparently#not even really Gilear hate I love that guy#but like#look at her#she’s literally an 8th grader dude#he never apologized for it. I am truly honestly not okay.#figueroth you have always deserved better#the thing gorthalax said about Sandra Lynn taking the fall despite himself and Gilear both also doing shitty things is so real#fig faeth#figueroth faeth#fig fantasy high#fantasy high#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20#d20 fanart#fantasy high fanart#fh#fhfy#desc in alt text#my art
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if i ever say that i dont like digitaltime . thatz not me – a skinwalker haz violently murdered me and stolen my identity – immediately seek shelter
#that last image iz basically tony in a nutshell#/j#i showed a couple of friendz my first drawing [which iz based on another one i made a while ago but i digress]#n one of them politely asked me to put christmas hatz on them#nd i did#maybe ill upload it separately ? whoz to say – dependz on whether or not i deem it tumblr worthy#az it standz . i just have some silly gay people that i wanted to show off cuz i miss them#ive kinda come to termz with the fact that the project ive been stressing about so much izn't going to be finished in time for the 25th#i guess itz just gonna have to wait until next year ... if ill even be around until then .... or . rather . if ao3 will ....#im rlly disappointed though – i managed to write 26k wordz in the span of a week in the past#but now i wazn't even able to squeeze out more than 5k in the span of like . 2 monthz#pathetic . no ?#sighhh#better luck next time ...#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis ship#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#dhmis digital time#digitaltime#whatever . at least i managed to make thiz . right ?#thatz progress . yeah ?#yeah ...
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Nothing to see here just steph stealing glances of klay like he’s afraid he’s going to get caught 😃😃 (via namxsj on twitter )
#nba#golden state warriors#dallas mavericks#steph curry#klay thompson#steph/klay#ok first of all oh my god#secondly i need asg week to be NEOW actually I don’t think im capable of waiting til feb#both teams have kinda been floundering (mavs to a lesser extent but still) and I am growing Impatient for the reunion !!#also the buddy hield cycle being proven right for the 4th(?) time. lmao. some of those dumbasses rlly thought they got prime klay back#the victory lapping after beating the blazers jazz pelicans and pelicans was like nothing I had ever seen#especially towards a fucking legend !! like klay fucking thompson !!!!#no one not even pr-trained to high hell steph curry himself could ever convince me that he’s hopeful or even okay with this bullshit#he needs klay. klay needs him. they need each other and always have but it’s looking more and more likely that steph is#gonna go out like kobe while klay is gonna gonna keep chasing the ghost of pre-injury self#that last part felt so wrong to type out because i personally think he’s been everything you could want and more from a guy#who went thru everything that he went thru and#his comeback is probably my favorite comeback story in any sport ever of all time bc it’s such a fairy tale. and it also actually HAPPENED#!!!!!!!!!!!!#ppl talk abt the injuries like they happened to him and then he just disappeared forever like no bitch !!!!#he came back and they won it all that same year !! led the league in 3pm the year after that !!!!!! led the league in ft% the year#after that n ppl still acting like he adds virtually no value to any team that wants to win a chip when in reality that couldn’t be further#from the truth#I wrote it like that because I get the sense that they both look a little lost/confused at times and I can’t help but think that#losing embarrassingly or not they might at least be in better spirits (if nothing else) if they still had each other’s company#oh well. lol#ok I think that’s everything I had and a million sorrys if this post exploded on ur dash i wish I could turn off my stupid sports rpf brain#but I can’t ❤️#wishing every happiness to the two of them tho they’re my babiest girls frfr#nik's rants
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look, not to be a hater but the whole ekko/jinx alternate universe situation only proves that jinx was only ever loved entirely and completely by silco, that's kinda the point of how tragic jinx really is as a character,
vi either only sees her little sister out of guilt/sense of duty mixed with a desperate need to come back to something or as consequences to her own actions(taking away agency from jinx in the process);
ekko sees her through the eyes of an idealist which is exactly what he is and that's not bad by itself, but it makes her either A Problem or Someone That Needs Saving, that's what's going on in his head after that AU he transported to. he's comparing jinx to powder and he likes powder much better, so he wants jinx to be powder or to reignite the powder in her - basically, he thinks how vi used to think;
isha is a complicated matter because she did show kindness and affection towards jinx that wasn't equal to anyone else's, it was pure and idolizing, she loved what she knew of jinx.
the people of zaun don't love her, not by a long shot. she became a symbol to some(as we can notice in the reunion by vander's statue) and overall the assumption that she would get involved more after her attack and silco's death is a fair one; that doesn't mean they like her,
sevika maintains a connection to jinx through grief and a sense of helplessness along with familiarity, silco's death affected jinx's psyche but it also affected sevika's dream of zaun, they feel left behind by him;
vander... well, he only got to see powder and warwick quite literally just had the memories,
the ONLY character we see that meets her as powder and stays with her as jinx is silco; yes, he isn't a good guy and he does cause the whole separation, he sharpened her edges to make her into a weapon, he lied to her and manipulated her at times, none of these things exclude the fact he does love her so strongly, with zero conditions.
she fucks up in missions, she does as she pleases around zaun, she kills their people, she stabs him in the eye, has psychotic episodes and breakdowns, she kidnaps him, ties him down, SHOOTS HIM, she doubts him and his love, keeps running after the past when he's done everything to strengthen her and she was, at a point, the only thing keeping him from his dream of an independent zaun - none of these perceived sins and flaws made him wish for anyone other than her, as she is.
all silco wanted was to keep her, while everyone else either wants another version of her or none at all. that's the tragic part, even if she suddenly decided to be good, she would feel like a burden for not being entirely like people want her to be.
#sorry not sorry but there's no happy ending here#loving someone without accepting how they've changed(for better or worst) isn't loving at all. it's cruel even.#also after the attack on the council vi treats her like a mistake she has to get rid of???? and that was vile#i simply can't forget that#yes i'm biased cause i dont like ekko and i ship jilco. this is literally the Why Im Biased About This Piece Of Media Essay website#so maybe chill idk#before anyone says it#loving doesn't mean condoning. but you gotta at least acknowledge their flawed personality. who they are instead of who they could've been.#yes u can hope for change but jinx isn't a mask powder keeps. she's violent and highly insecure and apathetic. she's needy and childish.#she doesn't care for whatever is happening to zaun or piltover. there's no difference for her they're all fleshbags that could hurt her.#at her core she won't suddenly start giving a shit to people. that will never happen. and she won't look up to someone 'good'#or ever stop being so high maintenance so needy and possessive. trauma won't ever just puff outta existence.#god these tags are so long#imma shut up now#arcane spoilers#character study (?)#arcane season 2#this is my opinion#if you don't like you can just disagree on ur mind and ignore me#make ur own post or smth idk#arcane jinx#arcane powder
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I'm so mad and disgusted, I drew Joan being mad and disgusted so I'm not so mad and disgusted
#clone high season 2#clone high joan#the way they resolved it is so stupid why punish Abe my boy did nothing wrong for once!!#clone high#made me wish they broke up even if its just for a few episodes and then be like “okay im not mad anymore just dont do it again”#instead of brushing it under the rug IMMEDIATELY#or even better dont include cheating tropes#hate them!!!!!#you can never come back from them!! it ruins the characters!!!!!!#I will be ignoring the canon i care them too much
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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me looking at all of the teaser video release dates vs the actual chapter release dates for dbd seeing they're usually around 20 days apart and that I'll have to wait a long time to get any info about it bc itll come out so late and close to official release
#like rewatching the interview and shit like#trying to get a grasp on what their plans could be#i dont doubt itll be good im just desperately wanting to know if anything i like will be in it#guys im gonna be honest im not a huge fan of springtrap so it wont be nearly exciting to me if its JUST and ONLY him as a killer#with no cosmetics for other characters no nothing#and the only other character ive seen discussion for rlly is mimic and i can't even express the rage id feel if it got the dbd killer slot#i just want vanny cosmetic is that too much to ask#no it isnt#but i truly have no idea if theyll do it until SUMMER#bc we only get to see teasers so close to the actual release#i feel a lot better knowing that they said that fnaf has been high on their list & one of the most highly anticipated chapters for dbd ever#and that theyre cooking with it and are trying to be faithful to it bc they hold themselves to that in general for dbd as a whole#but like we dont KNOW if theyll go as far as to do something cool like a vanny cosmetic or vanessa survivor#its perfectly in the realm of possibility but its driving me crazy tjat i dont know and i cant feel okay expecting it#and that i know if they dont ill be very disappointed#i just dont want them to only favor clickteam og era with nothing for sw era#and NOT MIMIC god weve already had enough of it#if it gets a cosmetic great but if it gets one and vanny doesnt ill fuckimg implode#pandas.txt#pre dbd x fnaf#thoughts
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may be i will make some cagecope something or other. like ol times
#i only care abt them when it comes to wrestling nd will be stealing them as muses still#been doing really bad mentally so i think i gotta find some good ref pics nd do somethin or ill doggone. stares at the wall#the urge to delete this entire blog nd try again is very high. but what would i even do. im still just using this to do whatevr i want#i dont know what to do nd yet the wrong path is very clear to me. ive worked very hard to get to where i am nd my body still calls to some#destructive bullshit#mind over matter#it all fucking doesnt matter ill see a professional soon nd hope it goes better than the previous time#i say its whatvr i want but it doesnt feel like that
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do you guys remember when i did fashion moodboards for girl drivers should I like do that again but better even if I have already done it once would you guys forgive me if I did
#i have since acquired more more mutuals that weren't around then that is my only justification#and ive gotten better at characterization i believe. maybe. as if that's even a thing#the yuriconomy is at an all time high rn as it should be and im giving back to the community by doing this#i have canva premium until february so like let me do this for u#fashion mb
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my tes secret santa for @anotherclassicpretence! truth be told I've been having a tad bit of writer's block lately but some of your prompts were VERY interesting (I liked the idea of writing delphine before the main quest a lot... this more or less counts) so I hope I've done them justice. hope you're having a splendid holiday season!
...
“Steady on, Hilde,” Delphine says with a brusque, manufactured sort of calm. “You’ll do yourself a mischief.”
It's a relief, she thinks, that the day Hilde has elected to barge in with world-upending news is a convenient one; it isn’t as though Riverwood is the kind of place to attract crowds, most of the time (part of the reason she chose to live here at all) but the inn is unusually quiet now. Orgnar is nominally organising something in the cellar, which means that he’s spending an hour swapping two bottles around and calling it a day, and the dining hall is warmed to a swelter with the ever-going hearthfire, and utterly empty. No-one’s come in for lunch yet. No rooms rented out last night, either, so it’s all silent on that front; it’s just Delphine and her wet cotton cloth, wiping down the stained tables till they shine, and Hilde with her hair wrapped and her string of beads tangling round narrow, hard-knuckled fingers. She’s sat herself on the chair with the wobbly leg; it needs fixing soon. Ordinarily, Delphine would herd her onto another, but right now she doesn’t think there’s anything in the world that would get Hilde to listen.
“Hark at her!” she complains to the bead-string - all marbled glass dyed blue and red and yellow, clinking together on their leather cord. “Do a mischief - do a mischief - it’s as if she can’t bloody hear me -”
Delphine swipes the cloth over the chip in the corner of the table. “I hear you,” she replies (does she ever hear her). Hilde’s hands are white where the necklace bites into her skin; her lips are pinched into a puckered line. Her eyes are red-rimmed and fierce. “Hilde. I’m going to get you a drink to calm your nerves, and then we’ll talk it over properly, all right?”
“Talk it over,” Hilde repeats, high and scornful, and then her face screws up quite suddenly as if all the fight has fled it - the wrinkles in her cheeks deepening to uneasy valleys, knuckles pressed to the thin slat of her mouth, beads digging hard into her cheek. “Nine have mercy… thank you, Delphine.”
The inner corner of Delphine’s lip snags, near imperceptibly, between the blunt ends of her canines. She nods once, and she ducks behind the bar, folding the cloth with damp precision as she goes. The cask of ale is near empty, the mugs lined up on their shelf, sparkling clean, cutlery rattling around in its tin. It's not fancy - Riverwood is a small, old town, built on the bones of an older one, and no matter how well-run the inn has been since she bought it it's not exactly a prime destination, but it's a good sort of a place. And innkeeping is decent work. Keeps you busy. Keeps your ear to the ground. Gives you something to focus on, in the meantime -
When Delphine grabs a tankard, she notes with some incredulity that her hand is trembling. She stills it. She pours the ale until the cup rim is flecked with froth.
(Gives you something to focus on in the meantime, in between real work, while you're waiting -)
(There is a feeling rising in her body, foaming like the ale; a sour, stomach-turning excitement, as if she's in her twenties again and wet behind her ears, biting back all the intrigue. Like she has an unlined face and fresh armour and is standing again in line for her induction ceremony. Like she's staring something in the face and thinking, finally.)
Delphine caps the cask. She is not in her twenties, and she is not staring anything down; bar Hilde, a seventy year old woman with tannin-stained hands and the latest in a line of tall stories. Delphine didn't get this far (how far?) (still alive, isn’t she) through credulity. She's a pragmatist through and through - won't believe anything she hasn't seen evidence of with her own eyes; and yet.
And yet.
She sets the mug down on the table; a pale and lukewarm drop slides down the pewter, just next to the handle. She'll need to wipe it all down again, after this.
Hilde takes it, absent-minded; the beads slither from where they’re strung around her hands to rest in a smooth curve over her chest. Her hands are shaking - she doesn’t seem to notice, or if she does, she doesn’t stop them. There is a look about her, all of a sudden, that seems dreadfully, fixedly haunted, like a woman looking down the barrel of a cannon, some rapid-rigged explosive, something to level the town. Like she’s caught the apocalypse’s eye. Delphine reaches out, perfunctory, and pats the back of her hand; Hilde grimaces and downs half her tankard in one long, desperate swig.
Light’s coming in through the window-slats up by the rafters, dull and gold, dust motes in the shafts of it. It makes the white wimple of cloth swaddled hastily around Hilde’s head shine in places.
“Big as the mountain,” she mumbles into the lip of the tankard, fingers wrapped tight around its handle, “black as night - flew right over the barrow like something fit to block out the sun.”
Delphine’s teeth scrape over that spot at the corner of her lip. She can’t help but say, “Are you sure -”
“I know what I saw,” Hilde snaps. Her knuckles and lips are blanched and colourless. Liquid sloshes over the edge of her cup with her sharp, abortive gestures. “I saw a dragon.”
Delphine is very careful not to let her face do anything at all, there.
(It’s adrenaline, she knows; the pointed, muscle-coiled readiness to move - to act - to make a plan in service of a solid end and carry it off perfectly; the comfort of seeing possibility roll out before her like a long many-doored hallway, like a road she might be able to walk instead of these four walls she’s circled for too many years. Innkeeping is decent work - keeps her ear to the ground - keeps her busy in the interim, but it’s not what Delphine does, not what she’s been trained to do; not a purpose, not something to strive for, and oh, Divines -)
(None of this is substantiated. Delphine is not a rash and green youth, not anymore and not again, and she will not start running away with silly fantasies before she’s checked anything at all; she has had her fill of disappointment, and should know better than to invite it - should know better than to start spinning grand plans, before she’s even sent out some missives to the pale cobweb of contacts she has left - over the barrow; west, then - is there a significance, to the barrow? Does she have anything about it in her side room? Nine, it’s times like this she misses the old library and the mad old codger that kept it, and, no. No.)
(Yes.)
“It’ll come back,” Hilde’s saying with fearful certainty; lips flecked with spittle and beer-foam, hands still shaking. “It’ll come back, and it’ll kill us all, and then you’ll believe me -”
“I believe you,” Delphine tells her, and it is inexplicably, regrettably true. (She’s thinking about the library. She’s thinking about the dragonlore. She’s thinking that if dragons are back, someone will have to do something about it - and oh Divines how she has missed being the one to do something about it.)
Her hands are still, but only through some effort.
She feels like she’s been dozing for twenty years and only now has been shocked awake.
Hilde looks at her, white-mouthed and white-scarved; she frowns, a tense, sour thing, and she says doubtfully, “You look like you need a drink.”
Delphine laughs. It’s a short, gruff bark of sound. Her hands are flat on the tabletop; her hair is coming loose in thin wisps from the tight knot at the base of her skull. Sunlight trickles through the windows, golden-fresh. “No,” she says. “No, thank you, Hilde, I'm good."
#i would have liked to edit this one a bit more but fussing over it was just making it turn to GIBBERISH BEFORE MY EYES so.#it's polished enough!#will go back and fix the hyphen/em-dash situation later. im using google docs atm and it's giving me HELL#this one was fun to write bc it made me laugh to think about how drastically differently these people are reacting#delphine (intelligence agent that thrives in high stress situations. desperately bored traumatised lonely and searching for purpose)#vs hilde (random old nord woman whose culture draws a direct unambiguous line between Dragon = The Literal End Times)#hilde has SEEN THE HARBINGER OF DOOM and NO-ONE BELIEVES HER. except delphine - against her better judgement - and she#is saying FUCK YES#(even better than it's literally alduin. she saw the god that will consume all the world and nobody care)#(this is what HAPPENS when we don't listen to women!)#tessecretsanta2024#tes#fay writes#my writing#skyrim#delphine#my beloved... woman of all time
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another narrative that needs to die is that mitch doesn't shoot enough. like that man picks his spots and sinks them so often...... he's good for 25 goals minimum and always on a 30+ goal pace season in and out. do you really want to waste mitch marner puck possession with him flinging them at the neck hoping for something instead of trying to see what he can set up. like 2 split second screenshots where he maybe should have shot pucks (or where you don't see that the passes were NOT in his wheelhouse for him to get it off his stick quick enough) don't define his play at all. like last night the passing lane disappeared so you know what he did? picked his shot and it went in, lmfao.
#hes always gonna give the team a better chance to score a goal. the extra pass really does it so often..#that set play w knies n auston where they SCORED and i still saw ppl saying mtich shouldve just shot it like bro#mitch gave knies the widest open fucking net by passing it.. the chance that it would have gone in was WAY higher flkdjsfskl LIKE...#he has such a fucking high hockey iq how are leaf fans this fucking stupid#anyway. a twt moot was laying out the numbers and ull never guess where the biggest difference in 16 and 88s goals comes from KLFJDSKLFS...#THE POWERPLAY ! kljfsdklf. theyre barely separated goals wise btw.#like are we really getting mad mitch doesnt shoot on the powerplay. really. on a powerplay with auston matthews most of the time.#be so fucking real man holy fuck#anyway. im in such a ranty mood bc clearly so many ppl just dont even knwo what theyre watching like damn#u all are NOT real hockey enjoyers its kinda crazy out here
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i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign
#god of war#i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know#something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become#to survive this long#up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change#it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this.#it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better#we MUST be better. than they were.#who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes.#i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return#you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.#you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better.#i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better#i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it?#this series has destroyed me.#dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate)#can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’#AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!!#sindri’s face. has not left my memory#i’m dying scoob#gow#gowr
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aini faice
#maybe ill post her charts someday if im on some kind of high#i post on my priv and here atp having so many socials is so much work#im not posting publicly anymore on twt just privately lol.#even tho i havent posted in like. 4 months. on there. irdgaf it’s way better this way#*im too lazy to edit but I meant 4 months publicly lol#aini#my art#oc
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hey to a gorgug liker what do you think about his nightmare section from sophomore year? cause I feel like the horror there is less “ah my grandparents were racist” and more “fuck am I being a stereotype? are the people who hate me right about me?” cause wrt to his having to modulate between barbarian and artificer in fhjy it’s like. idk
oh boy do I have thoughts
Tbh, I had zero recollection of the racism stuff until reading this. It was just SO MINOR. His trial in the forest felt really lackluster to me. I feel like everyone else's really dug into an issue at the core of their character and his felt more like "everyone is getting a trial, what do we do for gorgug?" And idk if that was just a bad delivery/call on Brennan's part or if it could have been helped by Zac engaging more in it but it just. Didn't feel like anything. It was a lot more about the dice than the horror of the claustrophobia and the bugs and you've never fit in anywhere you live to make yourself smaller wherever you go you're just the loser who hits hard. Like yeah I guess there was an overarching theme of Gorgug gaining confidence in himself but it was done very poorly imo.
And I think his trial in the forest was wrong for putting such an emphasis on his intelligence. I think that would have been much better suited in fy, back when he was still being heavily bullied, but beyond that it felt like a quick and easy thing for them to grab. Yes, he had insecurities about his intelligence with all the complications with Zelda. But, to me, the focus of fhsy was his HEART. It put a spotlight on how his social circle has grown, and his bully is his friend now, and he's not alone anymore. His interactions with Ayda, the friendship book, trying to help Fabian, I believe in you spring break, it's Gorgug keep going. I made a post earlier in the season (including a great addition by another user) that I think articulates that emphasis on his emotional intelligence very well.
Fhjy HOWEVER. I think it's doing everything that sy failed at. It's giving him space to have an inner conflict. It's addressing lots of little issues and conflicts he's had over the campaign and combining them into one coherent piece. Like, guy was in a relationship pretty much all of fy, and then dealt with the fallout in sy, but I don't think we've EVER seen as much quality relationship development with Gorgug as we have in jy. He and Fig spent an entire summer together trapped in a tour bus and no season has indicated that bond and friendship more than this one. He and Riz have found something to bond over, meanwhile in previous seasons there was pretty much zero one-on-one personal interaction between them. Fabian expressed sadness over Gorgug leaving the Owlbears, because it was the only thing they had that was just for them to hang out and be friends.
Just with that, we're already doing leagues more with Gorgug's character than we ever have. And I haven't even STARTED on his barbificier journey, oh dear god lmao.
Gonna preface this bit with a post I made before the season even started. It was about Zac's steady improvement in his performances with every PC, and how I was predicting that it was gonna culminate into a Gorgug that does him the justice he deserves. It was initially supposed to be a criticism, but I got a little lost in the sauce of loving my boy lol. Still very relevant to the topic of this ask!
God, where do I START?? Addressing his relationship with rage? I'll be honest, I didn't think that would ever be used as a character arc. And I'm not even sure why I've felt that way. I just didn't think... I didn't think about how he might've had a dislike for his own rage. Like, the WAY he rages isn't bad by any means, but I don't think it ever crossed my mind how actually harmful his lessons to sing to combat rage were. No, I did not like the way Porter went about teaching him (a bit too unsupportive of his capabilities and reminiscent of shitty teachers for my liking). But his point about EMBRACING anger; that rage is not bad and does not— should not— need to be stifled. THAAAAT. That opened up such an interesting dialogue for Gorgug.
I do appreciate the beginnings of Gorgug's interest in artificing in fhsy. I think the crumbs of it back then did a great job of leading into his larger commitment to multiclassing. And I think what he's been doing with it this season is exactly what was lacking in his section of the nightmare forest. His trial was a puzzle, based entirely on die rolls, where his solution after failing even when he's assisted by the enemy is to essentially give up. I understand that facing their fears was the whole point of the trials, but his section came off as incredibly anticlimactic and unfulfilling. Just the fact that it was a trial based on stat numbers more than the development of the character itself.
Where junior year succeeds in actually showcasing his intelligence and the evolution of the worth he holds in himself is with the hands-on approach it takes. Yes, the academic rolls are still dice and stats, but there's a physical manifestation that wasn't there before. Gorgug is smart when it comes to getting his hands dirty. It is in the practical applications of his skills that his brand of intelligence shines the most.
And while, once again, I did not LIKE Porter's heavy resistance to multiclassing....I have to admit that I don't think Gorgug would have had such a boost in confidence without that struggle. Even if my boy had trouble expressing it to Porter verbally, HE STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF. Instead of simply rolling over and agreeing that he wasn't built for a technical class and it was stupid to try– he was DEFIANT.
The kid who said "I'm a dumbass. Eat me you stupid bug." took on FOUR CLASSES. Three school years worth of artificer simultaneously. AND stayed with the Owlbears. AND went along on party missions to help Kristen's candidacy. AND was always on deck to help the party with the overarching plotline.
AND HE ACED IT!!! THE FIRST BARBIFICER THAT THE AGUEFORT ADVENTURING ACADEMY HAS EVER SEEN!!!!! He is paving the way for every unprecedented multiclass that follows.
Just in comparison to who he was in the previous season, the amount of drive and self-worth he's gained is astounding. In my eyes, it's done more than enough to makeup for the way his development fell flat in sophomore year.
i hope this fulfilled the ask in the way you were hoping! i told you i'd get carried away lmao. writing a bunch about any of zac's characters is always such a joy. gorgug had always been my favorite of the bad kids but i always found myself wishing he went deeper, y'know? and now it's real. my precious anxious boy has been handled so well. and watching zac's growth as a performer has been such a blast.
thanks for the ask! :D
#hope i dont talk in circles too many times#im not even gonna think about how long i spent lol#ya hit a certain point where youre like 'does that feel exactly right?' and then u go fuck it we aint perfect#ive done that a lot with just any writing thing in my life especially in school#but i feel like i followed through a lot better with this than i have with a loooong essay/analysis/post in awhile#so that feels good. certainly helps when its a thing you really love lol#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#fhjy#fantasy high#fh#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#gorgug thistlespring#character analysis#asks#anon ask
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